#i just want to create
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I want to make a point and click game so fucking badly
#me.at#do i know the first thing about making video games? no#i just want to create#i already have a story i just need to like. finish it and also give it a plot beyond queers bonding#i meant to write boning but bonding is cute
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I got to pick up some new books today, and oddly enough I'm feeling bittersweet after going. Granted I didn't get to explore for as long as I would want to and rushed a bit, but as I was reading book blurbs to find something new, things started to sound the same from book to book. Which doesn't surprise me bc publishers will publish whatever plot is trendy at the moment. It is what it is.
Like I know I need to read more and find more authors. But part of me is also really wanting to write the indulgent bs I want to read that probably won't be on trend but it'll make me happy for writing it and finally getting to read it.
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"I need to stop adding pages to my next update" I say as I keep adding more pages to my next update.
#i have been waiting for this for so long#and now i feel like all of my time and energy is being sapped away by all kinds of things#when will i be free to just make comics#i just want to create#ramblings
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I'm only 10 pages into writing and I am working so hard to fight my Impostor syndrome and negative thoughts. I struggle with feeling like there are already too many books, that my ideas are not unique enough to write about, that my view is not needed. I keep getting these thoughts but like, I have been coming up with worlds and stories for as long as I can remember, and I feel like it's crucial that I actually get one on paper or else I will explode.
So even if all those negative things are true, I need to do this for me. So I have to keep writing.
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Today I really just want to crochet and write while curled up in a cozy blanket and drinking tea.
Is that so much to ask?
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I have this idea for an Echo x male oc/self insert fanfiction and also a very sad fanart for Dark Disciple, but I have never written fanfiction, and I haven't done serious fan art in quite a while...
#i feel incapable.#inadequate maybe?#tbb echo#art#star wars#dark disciple#asajj ventress#i just want to create#where do i even start?
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i want to knit and crochet and spin and dye yarn and cross stitch and sew and make art and read good and bad books and take pretty pictures of everything beautiful in this world and enjoy my life!!! I want to create and contribute to this world!!!!!
but instead im in grad school writing an essay on state formation and print culture
as if those things really matter
#fiber arts#rant#i am so fucking tired#i just want to create#i need a break#but this paper is due tuesday#hehehoho#grad school
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My life outside of work feels like a constant decision between drawing and writing, desperately wanting to do both, and ultimately doing neither.
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It was affection.
#oh they got me#they got me bad#doomed yaoi and I go hand in hand are we even surprised#arcane you are the greatest thing humanity has ever created#I just really wanted to draw jayvik and I kinda went a little overboard with this#I haven't drawn something this detailed since the good omens angels illustration#so you get an idea for how bad this brainrot is#anyways#you will find me on ao3#jayvik I love you#please don't die#jayvik#jayvik fanart#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayce arcane#arcane fanart#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane art#my fanart#digital art#my art
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it is legit bizarre to me how hard video game creators and film directors and showrunners try to pretend that fat people don't exist. can you think of the last time you saw a fat person in a lead role? god forbid a fat woman? i can walk down the street or go into a shop or restaurant and see fat people everywhere but then i switch on the tv and suddenly it's like a glimpse into an alternate universe where no one has a bmi over 24. insidious and weird
#i don't wanna sound dramatic but it's just so crazy that it's like this and nobody even talks about it#tbh disability is like this too - you don't see fat people and you don't see disabled people unless it's a joke or a plot point#'we don't want to glamourise obesity' it's not 'glamourising' anything. it's showing the world as it is.#sure you can create a world devoid of all the people you don't find aesthetically pleasing but at least acknowledge that you're doing that#fatphobia#weight talk cw#ableism#be shh now#containment breach
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your last light
#artists on tumblr#every now and then i go on instagram for the sole purpose of crossposting art there#i open the page and the first thing i see is#A*I STUDIO#blasted in my face#i try to ignore it#and click the create button#and it asks me if i want to make a new post or#A*I CHARACTER#and i just close the page#born at the worst possible time in history to be an artist#never liked insta anyway but man
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I wish I had passion and drive and willpower.
#Some day#One day#Maybe#I just..#I don't know#Not anymore.#I've lost my ambition but it's trying to dig it's stupid little claws into me#I just want to create#But it's impossible#( ´;゚;∀;゚;)
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They're twins your honor
#okok i havent rlly thought this out yet but basically thry were separated at birth#yall can add to this however u want im just having fun#the potential these two have to create chaos..#cassandra cain#tim drake#batfamily#batfam#red robin#batgirl#dc comics#batman#doodels
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9fba5a60245f1f6ef66905ea67285e0e/d4252819a59560be-30/s540x810/ad05143b2ffc425f8c3d381836d6e3ba983eaa26.jpg)
DISCLAIMER: the blood is a feature, not a bug 🩸☎️
#you could probably compress some corporate horror social commentary in here#'we create tech with the heart to love you back 🫀'#this isn't rly one of those things tho i just wanted to make a gross lil sticker sheet comparing veins and wires#jara draws stuff#original#cw: body horror#cw: blood#cw: gore
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Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!
#ISAT#in stars and time#siffrin#loop#I truly mean it when I say that this was the best game I have played since Disco Elysium.#It pulls off some of the best examples of Ludonarritive Harmony in a video game...possibly ever?#Not to mention just...wow. What a great story. What a tale of twists and introspection. What a tale about the need for home and connection#I know many of you have trusted me before with media recommendations. Trust me one more time.#Do you want to experience the torment of being in a timeloop? And *still* have fun and feel like your time is being respected?#PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!#Do you yearn for complex characters and love unravelling mysteries? PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!!!!#Please heed the content warnings; I took them a little too lightly on my playthrough! They are there for a reason! Don't be like me!#This game means a lot to me and so many others. On the small chance the dev sees this (they are on tumblr after all):#Thank you so much for all your hard work in creating this game and seeing the project through.#It has been a year for us fans but many years for you. So thank you!#I hope it has been a joyful year for you! Watching as people descend into shrieks of agony from playing your game.#It's good! It made me vomit blood. I had so much fun! I felt like I was torturing the protagonist when I played it. I loved it! I cried.
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bwaaaaa i want to draw but have no motivation and everything i make right now looks like shit
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