#i just wanna draw the gay shit
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tbqh the most annoying part about being a detail-oriented artist is being like fuuuuck yeahhh i’m SO gonna draw tommy and buck fully making out in buck’s kitchen and it’s gonna be sooo good
and then realizing i actually personally have to draw the whole fucking kitchen in order for them to be making out in said kitchen
#lmfao#it’s actually kind of fun but like#i just wanna draw the gay shit#the background takes up so much time and it’s not even the fun part#but i’m bonkers and i gotta have all the details right :’) so#it’ll be worth my while lmao#it’s good practice for my graphic novel but my god. wish i was more of an environment guy
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ultimately!
#ELIIIIIIII YOU CANT SAY THAT ELIIIIIIIIIIII#audiof from not even emily latest video go watch literally its so fuckingfunny#dont even ask me how eli fits in hance' 5'2 dad's clothes pls ok#my art#digital art#oc art#anthro art#not even gonna lie i thfought i wasnt gonan finish this but we pulled thru#if quality gets murdered i will cry#swhy are all my favorite drawings baby sugar and eliyah interacting#i like themb#i was gonna add fucking comical cartoon slipping noises when her antler popped off but imovie literalsly. it didnt work it wpuldnt let me#vid too biggy#also noahs ark esque announcement for ppl thta read my evil ramble tags i miiight nuke sanguinary univers bc i love my ocs too much to like#like i dont wanna marry my first idea and i love them too much to box them into a project I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE I FUMBLED LIKE#OK LITERALLY NO INSULT WHATSOEVER TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT BUT IT WAS my firsy ever comic and i feeeeel like i can do betteeerrr a#meowweooww#like if it was small things i wanted to change i could juts panel edit but its like. major things like when i started chapter 1 i had#LITERALLY NO PLAN JUST MY nerdy vampire obsession. which is still present. giggle h#breaking news boygirl learns that they arent rlly proudof the writing in comic thye started when they were a teenager#ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE LORE THAT IVE. BEEN MAKING THAT CONTRADICTS THINGS (? PROBABLY) SO ok trust me ok just trust m#also yes this is what i’ve been working on except that animatsuon i mentioned with eli crying because priorities or someth#not except wtf i mean insyead or some other shit#also i just looked at this wall of text on mobile and like ew shut up little gay
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some doodles based on the gender thoughts i've been having about kuroba the past few days, mostly on how their appearance changed between middle school and their final year of high school. i also thought it'd be funny if kuroba didn't get recognized by classmates while they were helping at the flower shop back then, ( foreshadowing ig. )
#i didn't write it on the doodle but kuroba went to middle school in yokohama btw!#they actually attended the same school that their dad is an art teacher at. which i don't think i've mentioned before. he's an art teacher.#i'll make a detailed post about kuroba's gender EVENTUALLY bc i have so many thoughts on it#i will say that kuroba isn't conscious that their gender dysphoria in hs is gender dysphoria until after the fact#at the time they'd just describe it as '' not feeling human '' which is actually a cocktail of gender dysphoria and ->#body dysmorphia + depersonalization related to undiagnosed autism. fun times!#they're really repressing shit in their 3rd year and distracting themself by going all in on getting ready of college#erika coming out to their family while kuro's in their first year of college is what ends up unearthing those thoughts for them again#they're like '' oh i wanna be supportive of my sister so i'll look more into lgbt+ stuff. '' * opens pandora's gay ass box *#okay i'm getting so tired i need to sleep...#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#mj draws#ask to tw
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Krys, I think your blorbos are gonna kill me.
#The worst part of the fanart proccess#I hate translating designs into my art style!#I just wanna draw the funny lil guys now-Why must I have to go though this process every time I want to make fanart#I know why-It my fuckass proportions-Thats why!#My love of lanky tall bitches has cursed every short charater I draw to look like a kid#I tried to make Qing look like a short adult! Why does he look like a 12 year old?!#I am holding back on Red so hard- My first go had him built like a brick shit house but I wanted Shio to be bulkier and bigger#Well see if I ever get around to drawing them though considering how much suffering I'm going through#I've been trying to make breach fanrt for months like I did for crinkly's series but then I have to deal with this part-redesigns#Fuck you artblock! These gays aren't safe from my doodley little hands#I will draw them! And they will be making out sloppy style!
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trying to abide by the arbitrary rules ive set for myself
#told myself no s4e2 until i finished all my e1 redraws to force myself not to play through all at once#but i forgot about all the gay shit ive wanted to draw for pride....#and i wanna play more walking dead so bad#all the walking dead games were on sale on steam recently and i picked them all up since the DE is fucking Busted#when i streamed it people kept saying “oh [this line] is missing” throughout all 3 seasons and i personally recognized s4 lines were missin#on top of all the horrible audio issues#looking forward to getting to import a fully played clem that like...actually works properly lol#playing on the DE just wasnt worth it for the extra imported-related dialogue so itll be nice to get to hear it again :')#it speaks
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#i miss the days on twitter where my art reach a lot of people easily and i dont get harassed daily by alt accounts#these days my posts barely reach 300 500 likes but theres always that one guy who are like this is cringe or whatever#so annoying#how am i supposed to perceive that#that my followers hate my art so much they turn into hate followers and use alts to send harassment???#and my art didnt even change much#i might not improve much but at least i know it isnt worse than before#jfc i hate this#i just wanna draw gay shit and get fun serotonin
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[wip]
school's been killing me so i've been inactive and will continue to be inactive in the nearest future. i can barely find the energy/motivation/time to draw for myself, but here's a little seph wip ive started today out of sheer desperation to draw SOMETHING lol
#anyway to draw this i had to ignore working on both of my diplomas#+preparing for next week overall and an animation assignment :3#gonna lump all of my responsibilities on tomorrow and hope i can do it all in 1 day#also i hope im not sick#would suck if i was sick#i might be getting sick#the only thing ive been capable of is playing ow2 and writing gay fanfiction for it in my spare time#cuz even if i have a less intense school day im still exhausted cuz of the public transit#not to mention SHOUT OUT TO WEDNESDAY I LOVE WEDNESDAY#I LOVE HAVING A 1O HOUR SCHOOL DAY MHM#7am to 4pm that shit must be violating some regulations or rights idk#but the people in charge of our schedule are basically like lmao cant do anythin about that sorry#deal with it#and also this is the lite version of my schedule#cuz i have 3 hrs less than im technically supposed to have cuz the fucking photography teacher wont show up for work#and im lowkey hoping they cancel photography altogether this year for my sanity#also ive been kinda artblocked since the beginning of september#also also im lowkey hating my own art again#im just unhappy with my art#i wanna enjoy drawing and i wanna draw a lot but i just cant#plus ive been having trouble with drawing anything besides faces#like my anatomy is outta wack and its messing with me#i cant even draw characters without getting frustrated that its either just their face or a shitty attempt at a cool pose#everything i draw feels bad or uninspired#anyway#wip#tendebill ocs#tendebill art#personal#life update
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i was thinking that since i finished my chapter i could relax and work on some of my art projects before starting on the next but i woke up today wanting to write so badly. im so bad at managing my tasks.
#moth speaks#i have like.#this project im working on#with like#12 different drawings#and then ive got alot of art fight revenges to do#plus some smaller drawings ive been meaning to do#but i just wanna write gay shit so badly rn
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one of the biggest things i had to come to grips with art wise is that i can do realism pretty well but just completely fail at anything stylized. sure i can make a pretty picture from what i see but what does it matter when the only thing people take from it is "waow so good thought it was a picture" yeah its a compliment but its one that makes me feel awful bc i realize i do not want my shit to look like a picture. i FUCKING SUUUUCK at drawing and that isnt me being hehe quirky artist who says they cant draw and actually can i mean this shit is difficult as fuck and nobody would understand the extent to how awful i am at actually drawing unless they see me try to. all of my finished pieces were absolutely painstaking and i see ppl do the stuff that takes me many hours much quicker and with more personality with about the same experience shit makes me insane i am trying to learn but my god its like my brain just does not want to cooperate with me it makes it so so hard because i just have an awful mental block. genuinely used to just draw effortlessly (albeit not as well so at least i AM improving somewhat) but now even the simplest shit just overwhelms me. idk what it is. i like to think im pretty good with paintings but god it is so so difficult to do what i wanna without it taking far too long. i am so jealous of ppl who can do quality sketches on a whim. ive noticed i do a lot better blocking out a silhouette and then drawing lines over that when i sketch. makes me think im just not very line-brained?? stupid way to put it idgaf its 5 am. i dont wanna just whinge and cry about it but it is truly aggravating and so deeply frustrating to feel like im regressing in my ability to Just Draw because its undoubtedly a psychological thing. ive just been in this rut for yrs now its awful. thinking about buying a sketchbook again tbh
#goodnight#i kust dont know how to explain it#i know im not unique here i am not the specialest most tormented artist#but holy fuck does it feel like its especially bad for me#its been like this for years now#im getting better while drawing far less and with much greater difficulty#i think im just mentally ill im ngl#its some sort of fear of inadequacy i dont know god that is so gay DHUT UP!!!#i wanna enjoy art again and i wanna do it more often god damnit im going to make it happen#ive been taking steps to at elast try and make it happen again i just cannot keep being in this damn rut i hate it#god i am so mad i#and i do enjoy my paintings i just think#that theyre lame#when i do them again i want to do more original shit and put some meaning and feeling to it beyond 'waow impressive'#i have lots of ideas for shit like that its just difficult ss fuck to actuslly get myself to do it#lazy motherfucker!!!#poasting
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I draw things other than dndads sometimes
#minecraft diaries#MCD#mcd aphmau#mcd ivy#ivy aphmau#aphmau#I wanna work on my rewrite but it also is like so boring rn#and I need to read smth for school but I really don’t want to#but look at my evil girlfriend#I just think abt her sometimes cause she’s so pretty and evil#she might’ve been my gay awakening I’m not really sure#lunarrosette’s shit#Lunarrosette can draw
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5 am time 2 post my sloppy doodles of my beloved weirdgirl from bg3
#all the text is just shit i threw on there to fill the space so confidently id say tht 1)#thats not what her signature would look like#and 2)#she's like. 26 or so#when i actually paint / color her i wanna give her laugh lines cause shes real smiley#ive plotted out her traits and flaws and ideals like a Real Dnd Character cause i rlly wanna run a game where i can jam her in as a npc#she's seen a lot and is ready 2 tussle#wants to make a name for herself and is undecided whether all this mind flayer shit is helping or harming tht goal. leaning towards helping#since its the most excitment she's seen in awhile#so she's pretty positive about the whole parasitic worm thing. to the dismay of her companions#idk#i wanna ramble abt her bc ive put a lot of thought into how she thinks and lives but i will run out of tags#maybe when i workshop it all a lil more i'll post the lil character sheet ive put together for her#for now i will leave u with the promise tht when i get futher along in my playthrough#i will be drawing prim x origin characters being in t4t gay poly love#oc: prim#dnd#bg3#tiefling#oc#sketch
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how do werewolves work in lmd (plus anything else like that)
OK SO.
(this got very very long)
(just as a warning)
(also i’m going to tag @transmasc-wizard bc i remember you asked about this a while ago and a lot of this response comes from what i had typed up to respond to YOU lol)
(okay here we go)
there are (putting it very very basically) two main kinds of magic in the Ghost Story Universe: mortem (Death Juice) and vita (Life Juice). they draw from the same source (God Juice) (which is also the source of the apocalypse but that’s another post entirely) and are kind of different aspects of one thing, but still act as opposing forces. equals and opposites, can’t have one without the other, etc etc. the point is that even though they’re two different types of magic they share the same set of rules and operate under the same basic facts. one of the most basic being that magic is physically taxing to use. no magic comes without a cost
so this is pretty straightforward. and generally it isn’t anything too debilitating, but the more powerful the magic and the more magic used, the more damaging the physical effects become (for example: early on agnes’s chitchats with the ghosts she sees don’t really wear on her because it’s a very passive form of her power, but as the plot progresses and she actively draws on it more and more she starts to develop chronic headaches). the more active magic bullshit you do in succession —> the worse you’ll be feeling the next morning. people would usually need to rest for upwards of a few days after performing a major act of magic and the reason The Library focuses so much on endurance and repetition is to prevent that from happening. it’s to the point that some majorly powerful stuff is possible but the benefit of it is almost completely outweighed by the potential damage it would cause.
rambly worbuilding aside, this is really just a preface so it makes sense when i say: vampires and werewolves are what happen when people push their magic to far.
they’re basically the most extreme end of the spectrum for either kind of magic. vamps are a result of overusing vita (blood life stuff), and wolfs are a result of overusing mortem (spooky death stuff). this happens to people when they’re drawing on so much magic that their body literally cannot support it anymore and starts canabilizing itself in order to support the magic and prevent the person from just. coming apart at the seams. a Regular Person body is just incapable of handling that amount of power, so in turn they have to draw their sustenance from a different non-human source. the comparatively small piece-of-magic-apocalypse-juice in them mutates and co-opts the functions of their body in order to save that body from collapse. both vamps and wolves have to feed CONSTANTLY or they risk their bodies giving in and all their organs straight-up failing. it’s a slow transformation process and sort of representative of how much Whatever Caused The Apocalypse has become so deeply ingrained in every part of the new world. again: it presents differently but it’s all the same stuff in the end.
the world is full of monsters and weirdness and general spooky bullshit but vampires and werewolves especially have an ENORMOUS amount of stigma surrounding them because of the fact that most people still see regular magic users as recognizably human, and view the transformation as a transition from Human Person With Emotions Who I Should View As Such Despite This One Weird Thing to Inhuman Monster. most magical creatures aren’t seen as sentient in nature and many of them are actively dangerous to humans, so if someone pushes their abilities to far and ends up undergoing the transformation then it’s seen as a shift from being one of Us (normal people just trying to survive this crazy broken down to world) to being one of Them (unnatural monsters that came about as a result of the evil forest and apocalypse and want to destroy humanity), except that obviously the people who are turned are the same people they were before, just with an extra set of challenges and probably more bloodlust (which i can see being a bit of concern but c’mon. are u really going to let a little killer instinct get in the way of a lasting and meaningful relationship. weak).
They’re also used as an excuse when it comes to hatred of people born with magic at all. bc sure it SEEMS harmless when you kid is learning from their dead grandma or healing a little bit faster than normal, but with ONE WRONG MOVE they could become A VISCOUS BEAST or a BLOODSUCKING MONSTER and do you really want to take that risk?? wouldn’t it be better to stamp that out now before someone gets hurt??? even in places like The Library, which usually serves as a safe-haven for people born w magic, vamps and wolfs are seen as somehow Lesser. The Library toutes them as cautionary tales and failures of magic, basically a warning of what not to do to their students.
to get into the more specific abilities and effects and What Being A Vampire Or Werewolf Means i’ve made some handy little lists (ft. calliope and luca macnamara, a book 2-3 character that nobody knows about lol) (please click tumblr absolutely wrecked the quality):
so. yeah.
#i hope this is coherent i am truly just Saying Shit#tldr is if you do to much extreme magic you get fuckin vamped. or wolfed. but i felt the need to dig deeper and also make silly little#drawings about it. as you do.#worldbuilding isn’t always my strongsuit but i LOVE LOVE LOVE vampires and werewolves and i think i managed to do something interesting here#idk we all know monsters are Queer As Fuck and i mean. obviously. but the way i think about vamps and wolves in the lmd-verse is a bit more#in line w being disabled? especially in terms of chronic exhaustion and chronic pain since those are what i have the most experience#dealing with. but it really is pick your metaphor.#the monsters are a metaphor for eeeeeverything babyyyyy#i got to draw luca for this that was fun i love luca#he’s just a guy. anxious guy. tired guy. he just wants everyone to leave him alone so he can do crossword puzzles in peace.#if i love anything it’s my little side characters. technically a book 2 antagonist is a vampire and has a bigger role#but he’s an asshole so i don’t wanna draw him#the joke i make about calliope and luka is that calliope is a gay werewolf#who dresses like a gay vampire. and luca is a gay vampire who dresses like a gay werewolf.#nblw and mlm solidarity if you will#wip: ghost story#creme does an art
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Random ass doodles because I have classes tommorrow
#drawing#art#digital doodle#doodles#hazbin hotel#trolls#among us#plankton#random gay shit#idk what to tag anymore dude#im actually going insane#i dont wanna go to school tommorrow we dont even have anything important happening in classes tommorrow i just wanna sleep#help
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i know we're in tour mode, but i wonder if anyone else thinks way too much about taylor's obsession with legacy in entertainment and the culture, and then her choice to buy and restore the goldwyn estate in LA... like i think about that A LOT. and the fact that she immediately submitted it for landmark status and put millions of dollars into restoring it like hmmmmmm very rich woman needed a hobby but also psychologically revealing in a way. inch resting to say the least
#not to like psychoanalyze her cuz like lol#but it's just a choice that i'm like huh suggests a few things going on here that i find interesting to think about#her oscar bids over the years#her new direction of getting into filmmaking and how she apparently always wanted to#there's a bit of like maybe the greatest form of artistic legacy is film to her#the most prestigious which is HILARIOUS that she may think that because#we all only think that cuz of the oscars and the oscars only started to suppress unions and#fix the PR nightmare that was the working conditions and debauchery of the golden age of hollywood like aldkfjaldskfjadkf#idk it's giving howard hughs a little but of course minus you know#all that stuff#but plus the secret gay rumors i mean! lots to think about#NOT SAYING ANYTHING just like drawing parallels in my brain filled with film school history shit that's ingrained in there#don't be weird tho i don't wanna delve further into this like we're not gonna psychoanalyze her on tumblr dot com
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Man it truly sucks that like. The dude who did Planet of the Bass is a piece of shit LMFAO cause like. I feel like the DJ Crazy Times outfits PERFECTLY captured Moe's fashion sense and doodling those outfits spurred on A Bunch of ideas and I was having a lot of fun and even like an epiphany that spurred on a separate deeply self-indulgent project/concept (complete opposite end of the spectrum of indulgence) and then I find out ohhhhh. You weren't Just making fun of the fashion of the times and like, how it feels when you can't process shit so everything sounds a bit funny, and also just like how early 2000s music Is Sometimes (DEEPLY feel the song itself is SO DDR core ESP like... how it's just a bunch of vague jumbled concepts that's catchy AS FUCK) -- you're also a grown ass man still weirdly fixated on your autistic classmate you had in 3rd grade or some shit (have not looked at the vids myself and don't wish to, but from what I've heard it's essentially that).
(Further clarification -- he's making fun of autistic kids who had like, very typical and understandable Needs to accommodate being autistic in a classroom. As a grown adult. Like why are you even still thinking about this LMFAOOO move on, grow up LMFAOOO)
#is this how it feels when you realize ohh they were laughing At Me not with me#cause like growing up i was either passably likable enough that i escaped that OR i was too autistic to notice if it did happen#OR secret third option people were scared of me.#so like i was immune to bullying actually. could not effect me in a way that mattered#also i'm just trusting that word has spread enough that you already have the context. i'm not putting that shit on my blog LMFAOOO#THAT'S LIKE. one of my blog rules. i like to keep it as free from societal horrors and ills and prejudice as possible.#anyway. idk what i'm gonna do now actually. bc i still really had fun drawing/it really captured something in moe's characterization#PLUS it captured something SO significant about its dynamic w sharena as well actually#like yeah it was gonna be a shitpost but it was also a launching off point that like cracked by brain wide open#also i still think the song is SO good. it's SO funny it's so DDR core it's like a masterpiece. to me.#like is this a fnaf case where upon finding out scott bitchboy was quietly donating his profits to anti-lgbt orgs#where i so badly (esp when i was younger) was hoping he was one of the actually good christians who Aren't weirdo freaks about gay people#and upon finding all that out i just blacklisted everything to do w fnaf. but also acknowledging that was easy enough for me#cause it wasn't like a Huge interest of mine it was just something kind of fun that i liked from afar#or do i somehow like. carry on? like esp if the dude isn't profiting from me being autistic LMFAOO#is it possible to just. know and accept that he's a piece of shit weirdo take what i liked/inspired me and leave.#well. in any case. for now i'm keeping the dj crazy times stuff i rb'd on my moecore blog for reference#but depending on the consensus (i would deeply appreciate hearing others thoughts on this if anyone has any)#i may just wipe it clean and scrap the shitposts. i mean. i have other projects i wanna work on anyway LMFAO
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Wait. Fuck. Pride?
#random post#oh god#I’m not gonna promise anything but I DO wanna draw stuff. specifically realationships#I’ll just use pride as an excuse to draw gay shit yknow
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