#i just wan get weird with roman

[equalstrashflavoredtrash]

When your muse permits, please write a super smutty Roman/plus sized reader fic where the reader totally rocks his world!!!

warning: there be smut ahead

word count: 2,668

@@captstefanbrandt @peaky-yamyam @sheepishdove @captstefanbrandt @lunaschild2016 @lostinthebeans @ariwolff14

Once you had finished making formal introductions with your father, you stole away from the main ballroom where the annual Gala was being hosted, choosing instead to wander aimlessly through the empty halls of the Godfrey Mansion. You couldn’t help but smile as you meandered past the various parlors and sitting rooms, it had been at least ten years since you had last stepped foot on the marble tiles and yet they still felt familiar. With each stride you took you remembered more, the map of the floor plan becoming clearer in your mind as the obscuring dust was blown away.

Reaching the end of the west wing, you came upon a very familiar staircase. Gently, you laid your palm on the oak banister, taking careful steps so that the click of your shoes did not disturb the quiet that engulfed you so far away from the merriment. You always felt more comfortable alone in the dark, crowds had a way of grating on your nerves.

Sipping at the flute of champagne you couldn’t help but laugh at the juxtaposition. Last time you had climbed these stairs you were still a child, sobbing and covered in mud, screaming for your father. Now you moved with the poise and grace of a civil woman. Before you had been in jeans and a t-shirt, smeared with dirt from playing outside. Now you wore a custom fitted dress, designed for your figure. The scoop neckline accentuated your bust while the floral bodice cinched at your waist, leading into the skirt made of taffeta that bounced around you, light as air.

You were well aware your body was not model standard, but you never let that stop you, and it helped that your father’s wallet and status could insure you got whatever you wanted. You paired the dress with black tights with subtle heels, choosing to forgo any statement jewelry, and wearing your hair down in it’s natural waves.

Unconsciously you clicked your nails against the crystal flute, still not used to the length. Your father had suggested you get them done for the Gala, insisting on something other than your usual, short, bitten nails. Still getting used to the sensation of the acrylics though, you couldn’t help but constantly fidget and scratch, playing with the nails until they didn’t pinch. You did like the almost-black burgundy color you’d chosen though.

You were nearly halfway down the hall when you spied the door you were looking for. Stepping close, you did a double take of your surroundings, trying to see past the shadows of the long hallway, before twisting the knob and crossing the threshold.

Flicking on the lights, you took a final gulp of your drink before striding forward, taking in every detail of the bedroom. You could not abate the curiosity you had. The insatiable inkling to know what he’d been up to while you were gone, living outside of the country with your family, without directly asking him, and the best solution you could find was going through his personal things.

Giving a sigh, you tried to relax. The Gala was in full swing, there was no way that anyone would be up here on the third floor, you had the place to yourself. Placing the empty glass on the desk, you dug into your small bag, pulling out the cigarette tin. Never having been one with a taste for tobacco, you released the the latch, letting the lid pop open before pulling out one of the joints you had rolled in preparation for the boring evening of polite small talk.

You lit the end and inhaled while carefully maneuvering around the the mess of laundry on the floor, trying your hardest not to upset the landscape as you moved towards the bookshelf. Letting out a scoff, you couldn’t help but judge his personal collection.

Puffing on the joint, you weren’t surprised by finding innumerable amounts of Ayn Rand’s writing. Of Course the spoiled son of a rich tycoon would be interested in objectivism, you mused to yourself as you traced a finger over the shelf. You couldn’t help noticing his extensive collection of books on Medieval society and technology.

A familiar title caught your eye, the gold embossed lettering on the spine glinting in the low light reading, La Sorcière. Lifting your hand to your mouth, you held the paper crutch of the joint with your lips before removing the curious volume. Letting the book fall open in your palm, you thumbed through the pages, too engulfed to notice any movement in your surroundings.

“What are you doing in here?” a strange voice asked.

You yelped in surprise, nearly dropping the book. “What the fuck,” you breathed coughing slightly as you grabbed the rolled paper, keeping it from falling to the ground and igniting the carpet. Clutching a hand to your chest, you turned around to face the owner of the room you were perusing.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Going through your stuff, obviously,” you stated with a roll of your eyes, emboldened by the alcohol as you fidgeted, flicking the end of the joint so the spent ash fell away.

“Who do you think you are?” he seethed, stepping closer before ensnaring your wrist with his fingers. He tugged at your arm, jerking your body to face him and drop the book.

“Really, you don’t recognize me?” you teased, your voice dripping with disdain. “After all the time you spent pulling on my hair and pushing me in the mud when we were kids?” You spoke with a bitter tone, barely touching on the way he’d torment you, while watching the realization wash over his features.

He mumbled your name under his breath before releasing his grip on your hand.

“And how’ve you been, Roman?” you asked in a mockingly saccharin tone, turning away to grab the fallen book and return it to the proper place on the shelf oh-so carefully before facing him.

You couldn’t help when your eyes went wide as you finally got a good look at him. It was more than obvious that he’d grown since you’d seen him last. He must’ve sprouted like bamboo when puberty finally hit. Before you’d left, you and he had been about eye-level, now he loomed over you, easily a foot taller than your small stature.

“Better now,” he murmured, blantaly eyeing your form. You rolled your eyes again, bringing the joint back to your lips as you tried to sidestep him.

He was faster, blocking your way and plucking the joint from your fingers. He held it between the pads of his thumb and index finger and lifted the end to his lips, taking a long drag before letting the exhaled smoke snake into his nostrils. You cursed yourself as you felt a weight drop in your abdomen, watching the wisps of white dance over the pink of his lips. You had promise you would not let these feelings arise.

“You still into weird shit like insects?” he asked, quirking his brow, watching for your response.

Letting out an exasperated scoff, you shot him an incredulous look. “You seem the same as ever. You were always awful.” Shifting to the other direction you tried to push past him but he quickly boxed you in, keeping you against the bookshelf.

“You really hated me when we were little, huh?” he asked, a smirk dancing at the corner of his mouth as his fingers slowly drifted to your hip.

“Yes, and I still hate you now,” you admonished, your hand flying to press against his chest, trying to keep some distance between you as he stepped closer.

Roman held your gaze for a moment before dropping his head. He bent forward, hunching into you as his lips brushed against the side of your neck. You couldn’t help your gasp at the first fluttering touches, his warm breath preemptively ghosting over the sensitive skin before his soft lips made contact.

“Tell me,” he said, his voice husky, humming over your neck, so close to your ear while you curled your fingers into the cotton of his shirt, trying not to moan. “Tell me why you hate me. Tell me how much.”

“You were horrible and cruel,” you began, fighting to keep the whine from your voice, digging your nails ever deeper into the muscles of his arm, though it only served to encourage him. “Y-you constantly teased me and broke my toys. You killed my pet–,”

Roman abruptly pulled back, his blue eyes instantly connecting with yours, “That wasn’t a pet, it was a fucking bug. And it wouldn’t stop making that stupid noise.”

“He was a hissing cockroach! That’s what they DO,” you challenged, leaning back so your palms rested flat on his chest. “And you killed it because you’re an asshole and you could! You did it just to upset me!”

You could see the smolder in his fair eyes, but were unsure of what his next move would be. You knew he was volatile and yet you chose to speak your mind as you always had.

“Yeah that’s true, I was only mean to you so you’d pay attention to me.” His admission caught you off guard. Before you had a chance to think and process what he’d confessed, Roman dove forward, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

It was futile to fight the instinct to respond, so you eagerly returned his aggressive affections while sliding your hands to his clavicle, closer to his shirt collar. You dug your fingers into his shoulders, feeling the pressure on your long nails as they jabbed into the skin under his oxford cloth shirt.

Roman pulled at your lips, biting the soft flesh before his tongue found its way past your teeth. You met his challenge, pushing back at the intrusion and wrestling with him. His hands dropped from the bookshelf next to your head to rest on your waist, tugging you harder against to him.

It took a moment for you mind to actually click that you were furiously making out with Roman Godfrey. Yes, you hated him, but those feelings weren’t as pure and concise as they once were. Going through puberty you found that you had a weird recurring dream of being intimate with him, the subject matter only growing more risque with your age. These dreams only served to confuse your emotions without curving your animosity for him. But here you were, actually pressed between him and bookcase as you had so often dreamt. He pulled back for a breath, smirking at the sight of your swollen lips.

If tonight was an evening for dreams, then you were going to reenact all of them, even your daydreams. Pushing against his chest, you reared one hand back before quickly dropping your palm to his cheek. The crack of skin meeting skin radiated to your core. You couldn’t hide your grin as you watched the pink begin to bloom under his pale flesh, imagining the prickles of pain he felt as he kept his head to the side. Slowly, he lifted one hand from your waist, the other staying firm, to touch at his lip, testing to see how profusely the cut on his inner cheek was bleeding. You could see the bulge of his tongue through the soft muscle as it ran along the hidden wound.

Grabbing your bicep, he flung you on to the bed with more ease than you expected. With a swift motion he was on top of you, pinning your wrists into the mattress. You couldn’t shake the feeling of vulnerability. Lying there underneath him, you felt like an upturn beetle stuck, immobile on its back with a carnivorous praying mantis looming above, readying to feast, just waiting to take advantage of your position.

He recaptured your lips in a hungry kiss before dropping his hands to creep under your skirt. You could taste the blood in his mouth before trailing your tongue along the injury as you kissed.

Eagerly he pulled down your underwear and pantyhose, though only so far to reveal your heat to the brisk air with the elastic band taught around your thighs, keeping your legs together. He slid his fingers over your skin before coming to tease at your lips. He pushed your knees to his right so you were laying on your side.

“You know,” he hummed lifting his head away a fraction of an inch so his lips still brushed yours as his fingers pushed past your folds, testing your wetness. “I still want to pull your hair.” You tried to fight back the shudder that coursed through you at the idea but it was useless, he could surely feel the flood that came with his words. “And I’m pretty certain you want me to.”

You let out a raspy moan as he lowered his mouth to your neck, nipping along your jugular while lacing his long fingers into the roots of your hair and tugged. Fisting the sheets, you wriggled against him as he hurried to release himself from his trousers before impatiently pushing into you. The sounds caught in your throat as he settled, revelling your warmth. The way he held you, with your legs together created a tight tension you’d never expected as his fist jerked at your follicles with each shove.

Releasing a hiss, Roman pulled his hips back and thrust into you hard, drawing a gasp from your throat. He slowly picked up his pace, leaning over you so he could study your blissful expression, they way your eyes fluttered shut while you kept one hand curled into his shirt, holding him close.

Letting his tongue dance across the small laceration in his mouth, he tasted the blood and tumbled unexpectedly over the edge. You could feel as he twitched and released inside of you, the sensations of his orgasm spurring on your own. Your walls spasmed around his length as his name spilt past your lips like a garbled mantra.

With a last sigh of relief, Roman pulled out and dropped to lay next to you on the mattress. He loosened his grip but still kept his fingers buried in your hair as he gazed at you, his expression bathed in a post-orgasm eurphoria. Cautiously you smiled back, biting at your lip as you slid your hand to his cheek, stroking the aggravated mark you’d left.

The pair of you laid in silence, taking deep breaths of the same air for what felt like eons, but was truly minutes. You were yanked back to reality by the sound of your cell phone ringing from your purse, discarded somewhere on the floor.

Awkwardly shuffling from the bed you hurried to answer, knowing it was your father calling, “Hello? Daddy? Hey,” you greet, holding the device to your ear. Roman could hear the muffled sound of your father on the other end. “No I didn’t go home, I ran into Roman. We’ve been, uh– catching up that’s all. Mhmm, ok, I’ll meet you in the main hall in a moment.” Returning your phone back into the bag, you stood up, grabbing the elastic waistbands around your thighs and shimmying them back up to your waist.

Turning back towards the bed, you found Roman sitting up watching you. He’d tucked himself into his boxers but his zipper remained loose as he studied you through half lidded eyes. “How long are you in town for?” he asked in a placid voice, a flat tone you could draw no meaning from.

“Another six weeks,” you replied cautiously, eyeing him as you straightened your skirt and gathered your things. He merely nodded in response and you left the room without further conversation.

You easily kept a cheery face as you joined your father, alluding that you and Roman had done nothing more than chat though you could still feel his seed dripping from you into your underwear with every step you took.

[hyperfixated-homo]

Always in the mood for some cute Prinxiety :D

How about a nighttime conversation? It can be about something serious or silly. Just looking for that soft, sleepy vibe ^.^

I don't wanna >:(

Virgil gets tired. It’s up to his (also tired) boyfriend, Roman, to coerce him into going to bed.

Ao3 Link

A/N: No, that title was not me telling you I didn't want to write the fic. That was the title. Sorry if there was any confusion LMAO. I hope you like it!! Some sleepy time fluff with the boys

———

Virgil likes to stay up.

In case it wasn't blatantly obvious, Virgil is a bit of a night owl. Usually Roman doesn't mind all that much, except that Virgil gets tired and cranky when he’s sleepy, and its already so late and they're filming a video tomorrow Virge- so here they are.

"I'm not tired." Virgil says, not for the first time. He's sitting on the bed with his arms crossed over his chest and he has a pout that Roman can see from across the room. He says it every time even though he knows he's close to falling asleep on the spot. Arguing for argument's sake.

"I'm not tired." Virgil states, on family movie night. Even though he's been yawning for the last ten minutes, and clearly struggling to keep his eyes open. "I want to stay up."

"I'm not tired." Virgil claims, arms crossed over his chest halfway through a hike. He's lying, and he knows it, much less fit than his gym-bro of a boyfriend and not at all happy with such a strenuous date.

"I'm not tired." Virgil insists, but he's yawning and stretching out on the headboard of their bed. Roman rolls his eyes.

"You're so full of shit," he mutters, going over to the closet to change into softer pajamas. His shirt and shorts were absolutely not going to cut it for this conversation. "Well," He says slowly, "we have to get up early tomorrow so maybe you should just go to sleep.

He can feel Virgil glaring at the back of his head. He turns around and glares right back. It's 11 pm and Roman is feeling petty, sue him.

"That'll be my problem to deal with. If I'm tired it's my own fault. I'll be fine." Virgil says, as if the others can't tell when he's tired and annoyed from sleeplessness and Patton won't immediately call the shoot off and make him go back to bed. "You can go to sleep though." He added as an afterthought.

Roman doesn't look like he's going to let him off that easily. He opens his mouth, but Virgil cuts him off. "I'll be fine," He says again. Roman sighs, looking up dramatically.

"I'm not going to let you drag this out until the sun comes up." He groans.

He briskly walks towards him then, flopping on to the bed and turning to frown at his anxious boyfriend. "I know that you're tired. I'm tired. We both need sleep." Then his eyes soften, and in a quieter voice, "Please, amor? You know I always sleep better when I'm cuddling you."

Virgil looks conflicted for a moment. He rolls his eyes and looks away, but there's a ghost of a smile on his lips and despite his clear determination, he looks fond.

Roman smiles and shuffles closer, wrapping his arms around Virgil and pulling him close. He nuzzles into his chest and breathes in deeply, feeling some tension leave him as Virgil relaxes into him. They lie like that for a moment, just enjoying each other's warmth.

Virgil mumbles into his hair.

"...I don' wanna go t' bed yet."

It takes a moment for the sentence to register in Roman's brain. And then another for him to let go and look up.

Virgil looks sleepy. His hair is messed up and the bags under his eyes look prominent even though he isn't all that stressed out. He's got a weird expression on his face, like he's trying to understand something important but not quite getting there. But he's also looking at Roman with wide, innocent eyes.  "You want to stay up?" Roman asks slowly. Virgil nods, shifting closer and pressing a kiss to Roman's forehead before resting his head on his shoulder, Roman now basically sitting in his lap.

"I wan' stay up." Roman smiles, running a hand through Virgil's hair. He looks so innocent when he's like this, like a child who has no idea what goes on in the world outside of his home. It makes Roman want to ball up with him in a blanket burrito and never move again.  "You're going to be exhausted tomorrow," he warns.  "I won' be," Virgil says, yawning and snuggling impossibly closer.

Roman sighs and his head on Virgil's. "I know you're not tired," he says, voice soft and patient. "But if you don't get some sleep now then you will be tired tomorrow. And we really need to film that video."

Virgil stays quiet for a long moment. "You're right," he says, and it's so soft that Roman barely hears him.  "I'm sorry."

Roman smiles, prideful nature immediately wanting to cheer for his victory, but he controls himself. That's not what Virgil needs right now.

"It's okay, stormy." is what he settles on when he decides to speak. "I'm not mad. Let's go to bed, okay?" He feels Virgil nod against him.

They stay like that for a moment longer, until Roman clears his throat and gently nudges Virgil's head up. "Come on," he says. "Let's get some sleep." They shuffle around a bit before eventually settling down, cuddling with Virgil's head in Roman's chest and their legs entangled. Roman snaps, and the ceiling lights in his room shut off, leaving on some warm orange fairy lights. Virgil prefers to sleep with them off, but he knows that Roman is afraid of the dark and his boyfriend’s comfort was far more important than some lights.

He breathes, wrapping an arm around Virgil's waist and stroking his hair with his other hand. He can feel the tension slowly seeping out of Virgil's body. "I love you," he murmurs.

Virgil doesn't say a word, but he presses a kiss against Roman’s neck, and that’s all he needs. His eyes are shut and breathing already evening out. Roman brushes away the hair sticking to Virgil's forehead and kisses him there before closing his own eyes.

They drift off like that, happily in each other's arms.

[jerryb2]

“You were right about one thing, Master. The negotiations were short.”

- Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

~~~~~~

Here we have the 89Sabers OWK1, featuring a removable chassis from Saber Bay, running a Proffieboard v2.2 with a removable battery & OLED screen. The saber also features an interchangeable pommel ring, so it can swap between the Episode I & II versions as you please.

In light of the new Obi-Wan Kenobi show premiering in just a few weeks, I thought I would share some shots of a recent commission. I have a few more pics saved up, alongside some glam shots of a Roman’s MK1, so be on the lookout for that in the next couple of days.

I’ve touched on this before, so I’ll just briefly mention it here; I grew up with the Prequels and because of it, I have a soft spot for them in spite of all their many problems. Especially after the Sequels. *gagging noises*

Moving swiftly along: It’s hard to imagine it nowadays, but there was a time that many people doubted Ewan McGregor’s ability to bring new life to a character like Obi-Wan Kenobi. Because the character was played with such effortless grace by the likes of Sir Alec Guinness, the young Scottish actor doubtless had a lot to live up to. Unsurprisingly (at least for those of us who had seen Trainspotting), he was more than up to the task - in fact, McGregor’s portrayal of the magnanimous Jedi Apprentice turned Master would go on to be celebrated as one of the greatest strengths of the entire Prequel saga. 

All that is to say, Obi-Wan’s lightsaber is a reflection of his character in both The Phantom Menace & Attack of the Clones. It’s simple, straight-forward and practical. It’s a fairly well-known story, how Ewan and costar Liam Neeson chose their respective lightsabers. Given only ten minutes to choose, they were required to make the decision based almost solely on their instincts. Whether intentional on the part of the actors or not, each chose a weapon that suited their characters quite well. 

...real quick though, can we talk about how weird it is that Obi-Wan wound up with virtually the same lightsaber in Episode II??? I get that he made a second one based on his first, but...like...c’mon. That thing got yeeted down a power reactor. Why wouldn’t you just give him his ANH lightsaber in the next film? Or better yet, give him his ROTS lightsaber in AOTC, so you can thereby build an in-universe reason as to why Obi’s Master lightsaber looks so different from one movie to the next?? 

Why yes, I will take the “First Person to Bitch About that Award”, thank you. 

[musicaldamage]

Here we go :)

I think this is the first heaven on their minds I'm seeing where judas actually talks directly to jesus and jesus seems to be at least listening? Instead of judas yelling from afar or talking to himself on the sidelines or jesus fucking off every time he comes near. Local couple has actual conversation, blogger is confused

Is he kissing jesus or whispering in his ear?

Oh this is gonna be an interesting judas mary dynamic isn't it

I love the staging. There's fire

Judas's voice doesn't sound rock-y (?) enough imo but it's a nice voice (bit deep maybe? miss the dramatic rises)

Due to sound quality What's The Buzz more than ever sounds like What The Fuck to my ears which is probably what they'd actually be saying half the time anyway

Oh I LIKE mary

Ah yes judas must climb on stuff of course

Mary just taking the torch like No that's enough playing with fire lmao

I keep expecting judas to start singing les mis for some reason??

Wow they really jist have normal conversations instead of sort of yelling at each other?? Which makes jesus going "you'll be sorry when I'm gone" so much more worrying somehow idek

Also. Polycule vibes with this particular trio are strong

Every caiaphas has such a deep voice idk why I'm still surprised but damn. The song itself is a bit meh here but annas and caiaphas have nice voices

Jesus is incredibly serious huh does he not know what smiling is or is it just too blurry for me to see

Oh Simon's voice is very nice

I love Judas just sitting on his perch like kitty

This jesus seems so calm all the time? He overall seems less "ongoing mental breakdown" than the vibe I prefer but more "resigned to his fate and just sorta waiting for death to catch up" which is also interesting tho (and well I haven't seen Gethsemane yet)

Oh pilate actually looks very Roman™ somehow

The temple feels like it's missing something in the orchestra? Huh

Is it just me or are they hurrying a bit through the transitions? From "get outttttt" straight to "my time is almost through" with barely a moment to let anything sink in

Love the next scene though you xan tell he wants to help but he also very much wants to run away

Though the Don't crowd me is a bit weird bc it doesn't look like anyone's all that close

And mary's try not to get worried also comes immediately again why is there no moment to let his outburst affect you :/

Ok but judas is there??? Right from the start of the scene?? That's a new one i like that omg cute?

Mary like "jeez put your head up lemme shove a pillow under there"

Ok the angle makes it impossible to tell if judas is still there atm but if he is then Mary's "should i bring him down" gets a whole new vibe and I'm desperate for more exploration of the relationship between these 2 in this version I love this Mary

For a second i thought she was checking jesus's pulse lmao

Ok so judas doesn't show up to be a dick in this version after her song. Much to think about

The scenes all feel more realistic somehow than I'm used to? Not sure I like it but i don't dislike it everyone's just having conversations it does detract from the drama which is a bit of a pity it's less dynamic idk

Caiaphas put that club away what is wrong with you look at Judas's babyface and tell me you want to hurt that

Dude's not even noticing they put the money in his hand huh (I never quite understand why they're so insistent on giving it to him anyway what's up with that)

Act II ✨

honestly jesus and mary give off extreme marfied vibes

"this wine could be my blood" husband dearest how much of that uhh blood have you already had

He's still so calm! Even though he's not really but he still is i can't explain it it's weird

... He reminds me of obi wan kenobi. Jesus christ kenobi

Poor mary is so confused and he's just trying to act like everything was normal

Ok idk what it is but the dramaticness of this version just isn't high enough for my tastes like even this whole dramatic confrontation at the last supper feels so subdued

Gethsemane halfway through and his voice and singing are great but he's somehow still too calm I'm actually getting frustrated here like you're not having a conversation with your dad about a controversial topic that escalates into different political opinions? You're yelling at god about the unfairness of your fate you have the entirely wrong kind of anger going on here somehow stop going right back to looking so fucking calm after evefy other line

Ok I was waiting for the "what YOU started" line but. No idk this is not at all doing it for me

*dramatically drinks from not actually poison at all cup*

Ugh cheek kisses. Soft lil hug though

I'd be so annoyed with this jesus if i were sn apostle he has constant disappointed teacher vibes

"Friday 5AM" why does it have to be that early dude didn't even get a nap in

I'm always a bit confused when annas goes "someone christ king of the Jews" bc like. I do not know any scriptures well at all but isn't annas Jewish. Like. Isn't the whole point that he doesn't accept that viewpoint at all why does he talk about "the Jews" like he's apart from that group. Am i fundamentally misunderstanding sth

Oh herod has dionysius vibes?

The way mary appears to look down at jesus after herod's song feels like if i didn't know what's happening I'd be expecting her to turn her back ln him now. Peter too actually idk they feel like jesus is hallucinating them? Is he? ...ok is that judas? There's no way they're meant to be real in that moment hnmm

Ok judas i like your voice but. Something is off ab8all this idk what but even if they're objectively dramagic it doesn't feel dramatic to my heart :(

...it feels. American somehow. Idk why or how to explain it but it has a specific American Musical™ vibe that tends to make things feel weirdly more artificial? to me?

Oh fuck they made mary watch Judas's suicide oh that sure is a choice i wish i could have inserted more scenes to just watch those two

I do like this pilate he seems very reasonable which is a nice contrast to Pilate 2000

Is that Mary there while jesus is getting whippey? Who let her in

Anyway the lashings were nice i slightly take back my complaints about lack of drama at least fpr this scene (he still doesn't look enough of s mess for my tastes tho. He's still just having a conversation with pilate)

This is a very static Superstar somehow why is judas singing at the audience and not at jesus for most of the song i don't think this is doing it for me

Oh i do wish i understood what jesus is saying though does anyone know??

Dude's just catching flies on the cross close your mouth?

Oh is that just all the relevant bible verses running behind the cross there in the end? It got too fast/blurry for me to read but that's kinda cool

Anyway! If you made it this far, I'm honestly impressed lmao. Fun show to watch, LOVE the jesus/judas/mary dynamic, would have loved to see more of that, but overall not quite my vibe

I am watching the 2012 Broadway revival JCS for the first time and I will NOT spam this blog with liveblogging but I am not even halfway through Heaven On Their Minds and already know I will be compelled to put my thoughts somewhere so I guess they'll go in a reblog of this post once I'm through adgshfh

[agerestorybits]

Waiting

No one knew that Remus regressed other than Janus and Virgil. When Virgil left he didn’t stop taking care of Remus. He did it in secret of course but he never stopped.

After Remus first showed up to Thomas he dropped and Virgil was too upset to handle him. “Not now.” Virgil said.

Remus sat outside Virgil’s door in his snail pjs and holding his stuffed squid and waiting for his caregiver just like Virgil told him to do when he was busy.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

A few hours passed and Virgil still didn’t let him in. Remus fell asleep against the door and was woken up by Roman yelling. “What are you doing?”

“Watin.” Remus muttered rubbing his eyes.

“For what?” Roman asked, narrowing his eyes, brushing Remus’ weird tone off as just him waking up.

“Veevee. Said wait den buze.” Remus yawned before frowning at the door again. Why wasn’t he letting him in?

Roman was thrown off by the weird voice and didn’t press Remus for answers as Remus knocked on the door. “Veevee?”

“Not now Remus!” Virgil snapped.

Remus nodded and sat back ready to wait more. Still busy. He started playing his squid. Roman crouched down to Remus’ level. “What is that?”

“Squish!” Remus said holding the squid out before hugging him. “He a squishy and He my squish!”

God. Roman could not deny that was adorable. He had no idea why his brother was being freakishly cute but it was better than him bashing his head in.

“That’s a good name.” He choked out. “Why are you acting like this?” Was it a stress thing?

Remus knew that Roman wasn’t supposed to know. “Veevee?” He asked again.

“GO AWAY REMUS!” Virgil yelled.

Remus stared at the door in shock before bursting out crying. The door opened and Virgil looked panicked. “Oh god, Remus I’m so sorry!”

Remus was crying silently holding his stuffed squid to his chest, Roman felt pissed off at Virgil for yelling at Remus when he was so clearly in a….delicate state of mind. Virgil glance over and did a double take when he saw Roman.

“Roman.” He choked out.

“Mind explaining?” Roman said, his voice cold. Virgil cursed under his breath.

“Don’t worry about it.” Virgil said kneeling down next to Remus. “Ree buddy. I’m so sorry.”

Remus looked at Virgil a little afraid. “Sowwy.”

Virgil hugged him. “It wasn’t your fault. God I’ve been so in my head I didn’t even think...How long have you been out here?”

“While.” Remus muttered into squish.

Virgil looked extremely guilty. “Let’s get you some food and then we can play a game. Ok buddy?”

Remus sniffed and rubbed his eyes. “Mkay….No more yell?”

“No more yelling. I’m sorry.” Virgil said taking Remus’ hand and pulling him to his feet. Remus clung to Virgil’s arm as he took his to the kitchen. Roman followed.

“Need something Princy?” Virgil asked coldly.

“..No… I guess not.” Roman said giving Remus a strange look before leaving.

“Did...did Roman say anything to you while you were waiting?” Virgil asked worried.

“He ask bout squish!” remus said happily. “Said it good nam. Den….you yellen.” Remus said looking down.

“Buddy I can’t apologize enough. I kept you waiting for-” Virgil glanced at the clock and made a shocked noise. “Five hours?” He cleared his throat.

“It ok. I’m bad.” Remus said hugging Squish and petting the soft plush fabric.

“Remus.” Virgil said getting his attention. “You aren’t...bad. At least not so bad that...I mean...Yeah you are kinda of a problem….but…” Virgil was stuttering over this. He couldn’t just say that the embodiment of Intrusive thoughts wasn’t bad. Of course Anxiety wasn’t really good either. “If you’re bad then I am too. We can be bad together.” Virgil said.

Remus smiled at that. “Mkay...an dee.”

“Dee can be bad with us too.” Virgil said.

Remus giggled, “Evil boys.”

Virgil snorted at that. “Alright. What do you want to eat, ya gremlin?”

“Chicken nuggets and blood sauce!” It was ketchup but calling it blood sauce made Remus happy.

“Ok.” Virgil said. “Dino shaped?”

“Yeah! Bit da heads off.” Remus giggled, “Dino murder!”

Virgil poured him a cup of fruit punch in a sippy, “Here’s your blood juice to go with your bloody dinos.”

Remus beamed and took the sippy and food. He bit all their heads off before smearing ketchup on the necks. “Dead dead dead!” He said rocking back and further as he chewed on them.

Virgil watched, still feeling guilty. He was going to have to make it up to him for making him wait so long and then yelling.

“Veevee wan some?” Remus asked holding out a half eaten nugget.

“Thanks buddy.” Virgil said taking it. He had been working on getting Remus to share so he wasn’t going to turn it down.

“Welcome!” Remus said before taking a drink.

Things would be ok.

[littleoddwriter]

Torn Apart (2/2) | Roman Sionis & Obi-Wan Kenobi | Roman Sionis x Victor Zsasz | ZsaszMask | AU

Here is Part 2 of this Fic, which you should definitely read before this one! I hope y’all enjoy it. :) [I’ll work on requests over the weekend, then! Sorry for the delay, I really needed to get this idea out of my system first.]

summary; After six years of no contact to each other, Obi-Wan shows up on Roman’s doorstep asking for his help.

notes; Gun Violence; Stalking; Death Threats; Murder; Canon-Typical Violence; Dissociation; Crying; Trauma; Roman Sionis has BPD; BPD Episodes; Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms; Mentions of Sex; Kissing; Domestic; Established Relationship; Pre-Canon; Angst with a Happy Ending; Hurt/Comfort; Brotherly Love; Bathing; Washing Someone Else; Taking Care of Someone Else; Alternate Universe - Roman and Obi-Wan are Brothers. [please don’t think that Roman seeing his brother naked and bathing him when they’re adults is weird; because istg, if I was in this situation and my sister did that, I would be nothing but grateful, so-]

Reblogs > Likes. Thank you!

It has been six years since Roman had been kicked out and ousted.

Objectively speaking, he was doing a whole lot better now. Finally, he’s had the freedom and control he always desired, and he used it to its full potential.

Only a year after he’s started to find his footing all on his own, he’s opened a club to have an official business that brought in a good amount of money, whilst he would do his actual business behind the scenes, namely gaining power and rising to the top in Gotham’s underbelly. None of it would have happened so quickly if he hadn’t met Victor Zsasz only a month after he’s initially been disinherited, though.

Crossing paths with Zsasz truly has been the best thing that could have possibly happened to him. They worked so well together; they had similar world views and the same sadistic, cruel streak. It was too perfect to be true, which held Roman back for a long time. He didn’t trust Victor for a good while and always thought he was just trying to crumble his walls down only to strike then; but even when Roman has started letting his guard down after all, Zsasz turned out to be nothing but loyal and supportive.

He was exactly what Roman needed.

It was in the afternoon. The club was empty, save for Roman, Zsasz and some of their staff. Roman has just watched Victor peel someone’s mask off and he was in high spirits, while the others were busy cleaning up.

“Beautiful work as always, Mr. Zsasz,” Roman complimented his partner, grinning from ear to ear.

Victor beamed at him, “Thanks, boss.”

Roman was just going to continue talking when one of his men came up to him.

“Mr. Sionis?”

“What?” Roman snapped.

“Uh, well, there’s someone at the front door. He says he’s your brother? I didn’t let him in, of course, but-“

“Yes, yes, I understand,” Roman interrupted the other man, “Make sure the others hurry up with cleaning while I’m at the door. I want everything to be spotless when I’m back, ‘kay?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Boss?” Zsasz inquired, tilting his head slightly, a confused look on his face.

“Just stay put. I’ll be back in no time,” he said, waving his hand dismissively.

Victor – ever the good boy – nodded and observed the clean-up, just like he was supposed to.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Roman walked towards his club’s entrance. His mind was reeling. He hasn’t exchanged a single word with Obi-Wan in those six years and frankly, he couldn’t fathom just what exactly his brother could suddenly want from him.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Roman then opened the door.

Even though he tried to mentally prepare himself, nothing could have readied him for looking his baby brother in the eyes after so many years. Obi-Wan was twenty-one now, almost the same age as Roman was when he’d been kicked out; although his birthday was nearing rapidly.

Facing his brother was like looking in a mirror, only that Obi was better – he was in better shape, undamaged, beautiful ginger hair, brilliant eyes and perfectly fitting suits in muted colours. He was everything that Roman wasn’t and never could have been. Roman’s eyes were dull, unless he was caught up in his burning rage, he was damaged, which may not have been visible to the naked eye, but it showed often enough; his hair was dark and his suits were colourful and bright. They were complete opposites and Roman often caught himself wondering about how they could have been coming from the same parents; the same womb.

“What the fuck are you doing here, baby brother? It’s been what-,” Roman feigned to over think it, “six years?”

“Hello, Roman,” Obi-Wan greeted him with a gentle, anxious smile on his lips, “I know it’s been a while and you probably don’t want to see me, but-“

“Fucking right, I don’t want to see you!” Roman interrupted him harshly; even though he didn’t truly mean it – he was just so angry all over again, “Again, what the fuck are you even doing here?”

“I was just going to say that if you hadn’t interrupted me,” Obi-Wan responded sternly – and oh, there was suddenly a fire to him that Roman didn’t see before; but it was gone just as quickly, after Obi took a deep breath. “I’m here because I need to talk to you. In private, please. Could we go inside?”

Roman scoffed, “Whatever you need to talk about, you can do it here.”

“No, I can’t. Please, Roman. I-,” he sighed softly, “I need your help.”

That was what caught Roman’s attention, then. His eyebrows shot up as he looked at his brother and really saw the underlying anxiety of his expression and his fidgety behaviour. He was nervous and Roman guessed that it didn’t necessarily have to do with the premise of even talking to him.

“Fine,” Roman relented, stepping aside to let Obi-Wan inside his club, “Come in, then.”

“Thank you.”

Walking in front of him, Roman was relieved to see that his men have just gotten done with cleaning up the mess Zsasz had created before – thank fuck for that. He waved over Victor and one other staff member, who both came over quickly, as Roman took a seat in one of the booths and signalised Obi-Wan to do the same.

“You. Bring me a Martini, will you?” Roman instructed, looking at the young man and then at his brother, “Would you like anything to drink as well?”

“Water should be fine, please,” Obi-Wan smiled politely.

“Yes, sir, of course!”

In silent understanding, Victor then took his place behind Roman’s back, leaning against the pillar as he usually did. It really helped to put him at ease, Roman had to admit.

Once their drinks were placed on the table, Roman immediately took a big sip of his Martini, in desperate need for the liquor to help him stomach whatever has caused Obi-Wan to show up on his doorstep after such a long time.

“So? What’s so important that you need my help, Obi-Wan?” Roman inquired with a raised eyebrow and quirk to his lips.

“Does he have to be here while I tell you?” he started, eyeing Zsasz with suspicion.

Roman sneered, “Yes. Either you accept that or you can fuck off right away. It’s up to you.”

To his surprise, Obi-Wan nodded and then picked up the bag that’s been hanging around his shoulder this whole time and pulled out a big, brown envelope, gently putting it down on the table between them. Then, he opened it and laid out the content on the table’s surface. It was a bunch of photos, some of which had something written on them in huge, red letters. Roman could already guess where this was going.

“It started with phone calls. You know, someone breathing down the line and then hanging up, a distorted voice saying some nasty things. I didn’t take it very seriously at first, but then a month ago, I started receiving these photos of myself and then the messages on them also began. And, well-,” Obi-Wan explained, twirling the longer strands of his hair around his fingers, twisting it tight as he pointed out a particular photograph.

The photo was a very candid one of Obi-Wan sitting at his desk in his room. Across it was a written message, which said, ‘I’M COMING FOR YOU. I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU.’

“This one was the last. I got it two days ago. I went to mother and father with it, but they don’t think it’s serious. I also went to the police, but-“

“They just sent you away saying they can’t do anything until something actually happens to confirm the threat being made to your life,” Roman ended Obi’s sentence for him, knowing exactly how cops operated with such things.

“Yes, exactly,” Obi-Wan confirmed softly.

“And so you came to me with this because…?” Roman wondered aloud, shortly looking at his brother before taking a closer look at all the photos again.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” Obi-Wan admitted, “I’m scared. I don’t know who’s doing this, but I really want it to stop; even if everyone else is right and it’s not actually serious. It still feels that way.”

He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and then continued, “Look, I know you hate me, Roman. But I have no idea what else to do or where to go. Can you help me, please?”

His words stabbed Roman in the heart, making it hurt as his chest started to feel far too tight. Setting the photos in his hands down, Roman downed the rest of his Martini. He desperately needed something stronger.

Despite that, he nodded and said, “’Kay. I’ll help you.”

After all, he didn’t want his little brother to get hurt, no matter what. It was strange for him to feel protective over anybody else, but all his life this was what has kept him going after all.

Roman was trying to ignore what Obi has said before that. “Zsasz, separate our men in four teams. Make sure that each group fills one car, so that two of them can follow Obi-Wan around when he needs to go outside. Four groups, so they can rotate shifts.”

“Sure thing, boss. Anything else?” Victor responded, pulling out his phone.

“Obi-Wan, do you still live at the mansion?”

“Yes, but I also have an apartment I use.”

“Where have the photos been sent to?”

“Both. The last one was at my apartment, though.”

“Make sure that you spare some men, who stand guard at the apartment and around the mansion, in case this fuck decides to send another message. Maybe we can catch him red-handed,” Roman further instructed his partner.

Zsasz nodded and walked away to follow Roman’s orders.

“Will our dear ol’ parents be concerned if you don’t show up back at home for a while?” Roman asked, turning back to his brother, who started packing up the photos again.

“No, I can just tell them I’m staying over at my apartment. They wouldn’t question that. Why?”

“Well, you’re definitely not staying at either of your homes. I was thinking that you could stay here. I’ve got a guest room you can use. Of course, I also have a safe house, but I don’t think that’s a very good idea, considering that I’m stretching my staff really thin, already. So, I think it’s better if you just stay here. That way, Zsasz and I will be near you, in case something does happen. ‘Kay?”

“Are you sure you are okay with that, Roman?” Obi-Wan inquired, looking at him so incredulously that Roman was reminded again that his brother believed that he hated his guts (and really, Roman couldn’t blame him for thinking that).

“I wouldn’t suggest it otherwise, so yes,” Roman said and Obi-Wan nodded. “Great, that’s settled then! Come on, let’s get you upstairs and familiarised with your temporary new home.”

Roman clasped his hands together as he said it and got up and out of the booth, his brother following him suit.

Upstairs, Roman showed Obi-Wan through the penthouse. Each room came with explanations and rules, while he also showed off his artefacts in the hallways and living area in-between.

They ended the little tour in the guest room, which would be Obi-Wan’s own for the time being.

“Thank you, Roman. For everything. Again, I know you don’t exactly like me, and I’m sorry for making this the reason we’re talking again after so long, but I’m glad we are,” Obi-Wan said, turning around to face his brother.

Once more, Roman’s heart just hurt upon hearing Obi-Wan’s words and he tensed up. He took a moment to collect himself and push down the suffocating feeling that was starting to spread through his body, before quietly admitting what’s been burning on his tongue for a long time, “I don’t hate you, Obi. I never did. For a while, I tried to, though, only to find that you’re a very difficult person to hate, even if it would have made things easier on me. I just couldn’t.”

“But- You always pushed me away. Every time I tried talking to you when we still lived together, you’d yell at me and ignored me until I stopped trying. And what you said-“

“I didn’t mean it!” Roman snapped, stopping short and continuing more softly, “I was enraged, angrier than I’d ever been when I said what I said. And while I can’t undo it, I want you to know that I didn’t mean it. Not only wouldn’t it have changed anything if you’d been born or not, but you are the best thing that our parents have ever created, let me tell you.”

Obi-Wan looked stunned, and frankly, Roman felt it, too. Never in his dreams had he ever imagined himself saying these words to his brother. Not that he’s ever thought he’d talk to him ever again in the first place, either.

“Then why didn’t you ever speak to me?” his baby brother asked quietly, his voice breaking a little.

“I simply wasn’t allowed to,” Roman confessed, “Our parents never wanted me to be near you. I was punished for every time I so much as touched you or was caught alone with you. I was trying to protect myself, Obi-Wan.”

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry. Why did they do that?”

Roman shrugged, “I suppose they were scared I would either do something bad to you or corrupt you to be just as troublesome as I had always been.”

“That’s abhorrent!” Obi-Wan exclaimed, looking scandalised. He took a deep breath to calm down once again and continued, “I’m really sorry, Roman. I wish I’d known that was the reason. Maybe I could have done something about it.”

“I highly doubt that. Listen, father would have done what he did to me either way. You know that as well as I do, or else he wouldn’t have bothered punishing me for every other mistake I’ve ever done.”

“I suppose you’re right. You didn’t deserve any of it, though. I hope you know that.”

A strained smile stretched Roman’s lips. It was painful, but not as badly as the way his chest hurt.

“Sure,” he just said, “I have a business meeting in ten minutes, so feel free to get more familiar with your surroundings. I don’t care what you do, as long as you follow the rules I’ve set and stay up here until I’m back. I’ll have someone drive to your apartment and bring your clothes here. I’ll also have two of my men positioned around here to look out for you, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, alright. Thank you, Roman,” Obi-Wan smiled gently.

Roman only nodded, after looking at his brother for a long moment. Then, he turned around and walked over to his dressing room to get changed into a different suit for his pending meeting. First, he sent out a message to two of his men to come upstairs and look after Obi-Wan while he was busy, though.

As he was busy changing his outfits, Roman really felt just how close to exploding he was. He was tense, his chest felt tight, he could hardly breathe, his mind was reeling and he felt this big lump in his throat. It was agony and he wished he didn’t have this business meeting to attend, now. All he wanted to do was drown himself in hard liquor as Zsasz would fuck him stupid – maybe after he watched him kill another person – so he could get out of his head and stop feeling like this.

“Boss?” Victor asked, standing in the doorway and looking at Roman, who was just fixing his hair in his vanity mirror.

“Did you do everything I told you to?” Roman turned around to face his partner, who walked up to him and nodded. “Good boy.”

When they were face to face, Roman kissed him on the lips. Even if he had to suppress all his emotions just now, at least he could find comfort in the intimate familiarity he’s never had with anyone else before Zsasz.

“You okay?” Victor murmured against his lips.

Roman scoffed, “What do you think?”

“Tushi.”

“Touché,” Roman corrected instantly, chuckling softly – sometimes, Victor’s butchering of words was rather amusing after all. “Come on, let’s go downstairs. I’d hate to be late!”

During the meeting, Roman was distracted enough that he almost forgot what he’s felt like before; but of course it didn’t stay that way. Despite how well it went, after his business partner left, Roman felt everything come back to him in such a rush that he ended up smashing his glass against the table, screaming and shouting as he kept pounding his fists into the table’s surface, until Victor caught his wrists in his hands and made him look him in his deep brown eyes.

Roman still tried to wrench from Zsasz’s tight grip, but it was to no avail; once Victor got his hands around him there was no way out. So, eventually he calmed down and came back to the there and then.

“I’d say we could blow off some steam, but I feel like that wouldn’t really help right now, hm?” Victor murmured, keeping such intense eye contact with Roman.

“No, not really,” Roman sighed deeply, “I wish I wasn’t even here, Victor.”

“Don’t say that. You’ve got a purpose after all, remember, Roman? It’ll all be worth it. I promise.”

“Fuck that purpose. I’m tired. I just want to stop feeling like this all the fucking time, unless I’m out of my mind entirely and even then, it’s never enough. I want it to end. I can’t do this anymore, baby, I can’t!” He was getting agitated again, telling Victor things he’d never thought to speak aloud in his life.

“I know. Do it for me, for Obi-Wan. Stay here for us.”

“Fuck you.”

“Roman,” Victor nearly warned him.

“Fucking fine! Ugh, I hate when you get deep with me. It’s disgusting.”

Zsasz cackled, a crooked grin on his lips, “Someone’s gotta be.”

“If only I didn’t like you so much,” Roman muttered and leaned down to capture Victor’s lips in a gentle kiss, thankful not for the first time that they were alone just then and that he had him by his side at all.

For the remainder of the day, Zsasz made sure to help Roman ground himself with different and safer methods than usual. It was something they’ve been working on for a few years already, ever since Roman almost died because he had overdone it with his usual coping mechanisms. Victor didn’t put a hard stop to it all, but he kept an eye on Roman and even had the privilege of telling him ‘no’ if he treaded this threshold between still okay and too far. Often times, Roman absolutely resented him for it; even though he rationally knew that Zsasz was right and that he should be grateful, but it wasn’t easy for him to see that.

After a mostly sleepless night, Roman wanted to get Obi-Wan for breakfast and was greeted with a surprising sight when he quietly opened his brother’s door. There, in his room, he kneeled on the floor, his eyes closed and breathing deeply. He looked so at ease and relaxed – a hard contrast to when he showed up on Roman’s doorstep the day before.

“What the fuck are doing?”

Roman had thought that he would have startled Obi-Wan by suddenly speaking up, but his brother only smiled, his eyes slowly opening up as he replied, “Meditating.”

“What, really? You know that shit doesn’t actually work, right? It’s just some fucking bullshit people made up, just like everything else they say helps you relax.”

“That’s what you say, but it actually helps me a lot. I do it every morning after I got up and every night before I go to sleep. If I can find the time or need it, I’ll do it during the day as well,” Obi-Wan explained, standing up from his kneeling position on the hard stone floor, “I find that it really does put me at ease, no matter what.”

“I don’t believe you,” Roman said and he meant it – he couldn’t believe it because he tried meditating and it only lead to a panic attack on one occasion and a state of complete disconnection from the world on a different one.

His little brother only shrugged, “You don’t have to. It’s not like it worked one day to the other for me either, though. I’ve had a great teacher for years, Qui-Gon is his name, and only because of his patience did I ever reach the point where I am now. Things like that take time, Roman.”

“Oh, please save me your talk of that. Ugh! Every fucking thing in the world takes time that nobody even has to begin with,” Roman sighed dramatically and then turned around, ending this conversation with it. “Breakfast is ready, by the way.”

Living with his brother after all those years of not even really knowing each other and then more years of not talking or even seeing one another, was much easier – and dare he say nicer – than Roman could have possibly expected.

They were polar opposites, but strangely worked well with each other. Roman was a natural born leader and took the role of an actual older brother much better than he’d thought. Obi-Wan didn’t make any difficulties whatsoever and followed what Roman told him without any talk-back. So, after the initial shock and outbursts, it all calmed down significantly for Roman and he’s come to enjoy his free minutes he spent with his brother and Zsasz.

Several days passed without an incident from Obi’s mysterious stalker. No phone calls, no photographs, no attacks – nothing; as though he’d suddenly gone and disappeared off the face of the earth.

Nonetheless, Obi-Wan didn’t allow himself to wallow in this false sense of security and Roman inwardly applauded him for it. He’s told him from the very beginning that the second he would let his guard down, could be the one his stalker decided to strike; and so he should never even think about blowing it all off as though it has only been a false alarm. Roman has made his fair share of experiences with all kinds of messed up things over the twenty-eight years he’s been in this world. He’d be damned if he allowed his baby brother to learn what any of it was actually like when it became real.

Then, one night – eight days into this whole mess – Roman and Victor lay in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, legs tangled and kissing each other breathless. As much as he often hated tenderness and everything that came with it, because it was nothing but fake fucking bullshit, he couldn’t deny just how much comfort it usually brought him to lazily make out with Zsasz in the safety of their home.

Roman startled when he heard a loud crash coming from down the hall where Obi-Wan’s room was. Breaking the kiss, he looked at Victor, who already rolled over and rummaged through the bedside drawer for his gun and a knife. Roman also turned around and got out his revolver from his own drawer.

“Make sure no one else is here. Get the staff here as back-up,” Roman instructed quietly, getting out of bed and unlocking his handgun’s safety.

“Boss,” Zsasz warned, “You shouldn’t go there by yourself!”

“I can take care of myself,” Roman hissed back, “Now do as I say! Hurry!”

Another crash sounded, louder than before. This time, something definitely shattered on the ground and it also sounded as though a table fell over. Roman’s heart sank. This fuck has gotten to him after all, despite all the precautions, and he might have even hurt Obi-Wan.

As he quietly walked down the hall on his bare feet and slowly, but surely reached the guest room with the gun extended and his finger on the trigger, he took deep, steadying breaths. He couldn’t allow himself to think of the worst and let that take over him. He needed to be calm and have a steady hand, or else he wouldn’t be able to protect his baby brother.

The door was closed and on an impulse, Roman kicked it down, hoping to take the intruder by surprise, so he could have free reign of shooting him before he could even think about doing anything else.

When the door was thrown open by his kick, he quickly took in the scene. Obi-Wan was on the floor, struggling as the stalker was on top of him. Luckily, Roman’s decision paid off when the stupid fucker turned around in surprise. He was still holding him down with one hand and by sitting on top of him, but he lifted himself off Obi-Wan enough to give Roman the opportunity to shoot him right between his eyes.

As soon as the bullet hit him, the intruder slumped in on himself and on Obi-Wan, who immediately threw him off of himself as he scrambled up and back against the wall, pressing himself against it. To say that his little brother looked as though he’d seen a ghost would have been a complete understatement.

Roman locked his gun’s safety after double-tapping the stalker for good measure and then rushed over to Obi-Wan, kneeling in front of him as he looked him in the eyes; only that when he did, his little brother’s eyes were so vacant that Roman’s heart clenched painfully. There was blood all over Obi-Wan; especially his face, of which the majority was most definitely the fuck’s he just shot.

Even though Roman couldn’t stand the feeling of blood on himself, he cupped Obi-Wan’s head in his hands and softly spoke to him, “Obi? Come on, baby brother. Look at me. You’re safe now, ‘kay?”

He stroked his thumbs over his brother’s cheeks, but Obi-Wan still wouldn’t come back to himself. Despite the way his entire body was quivering, he was lost in a state of disconnection from it all. And really, Roman couldn’t blame him.

“Boss, should we just clean up here, then?” Zsasz asked as he came in with five of their man at his back, looking at the mess in the room.

“Yes. Make sure there are no traces of blood when you’re done. Get rid of the body like always. I’ll take care of Obi-Wan,” Roman ordered, looking at Victor while he was talking.

“You heard him,” Victor told the five other men and then turned back to Roman, “Are you alright?”

“I am, but I’m not so sure about Obi. Help me get him up and into my bathroom, will you?”

“Of course, boss.” Roman couldn’t help but give his partner a small smile, then.

Together they helped Obi-Wan stand up and walked him over into their own bedroom and the en-suite bathroom. There, Victor left Roman alone with his brother after making sure that he could really deal with this by himself.

“Take off your clothes, Obi-Wan,” he commanded softly, nudging Obi-Wan gently.

Then, he washed the blood off of his own hands thoroughly before he went about drawing a cold bath and laying out fresh towels.

Turning around to Obi-Wan, he was still rooted to the spot, fully clothed, bloodied, shaking and a vacant expression.

“Obi-Wan!” Roman snapped, concern getting the better of him.

That got his brother to twitch at least, but that was about it.

Sighing deeply, Roman walked up to him and put his hands on his shoulders. “We need to clean that blood off of you. So, take your clothes off, ‘kay?”

To his pleasant surprise, Obi-Wan nodded jerkily and started undressing himself slowly and as though he was entirely on autopilot – and Roman guessed that he truly was.

Once he was naked and the bathtub was filled with water, Roman guided Obi-Wan over to the tub and helped him into it. As soon as his left foot dipped into the water, his brother twitched again, but still didn’t say anything. Eventually, he was laying in the bathtub, cold water and dense bubbles surrounding him as he shivered from the coldness.

“Why… Why is it cold?” Obi-Wan asked quietly, just barely above a whisper.

“For two reasons; one is to get you back to the here and now, which obviously is starting to work and the second being that cold water works better to clean blood off of someone and something. Don’t worry, once you’re free of blood, you can shower with warm water, ‘kay?” Roman explained, while he grabbed a washcloth and dipped it in the water to wet it before he put some soap on it.

Obi-Wan nodded in understanding and let Roman start lathering him gently, but thoroughly. He closed his eyes when told to as Roman cleaned the blood off his face, scrubbing at it in spots where it’s already started drying into a crusty, sticky layer.

“You- Is he- Is he dead?” Obi-Wan asked suddenly.

“Yes, he is. Don’t worry about any of that, alright? It’s all under control, I assure you.”

“Okay.”

The entire time after that, neither of them spoke and only the sloshing of the bathwater, the scrubbing of the washcloth against skin, and the distant sounds of the clean-up were audible. Under any other circumstances, it might have been calming; but this kind of quiet was deafeningly loud to both of them.

“I’ll let you clean yourself and warm up properly now, while I overlook how far the others are with cleaning your room,” Roman stated, getting up from where he’s been sitting beside the tub and sighed, “If you need anything, just call for me.”

“Yeah, alright,” Obi-Wan whispered, looking down on his still trembling hands.

Then, Roman left him alone.

As he walked over to Zsasz, he felt relief wash over him in waves. The rest of the staff was already gone, too. Perhaps they’d taken longer in the bath than he’d thought. He couldn’t make himself care about any of it, though, when he wrapped his arms around his partner’s shoulders tightly and buried his face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his comforting, familiar scent deeply and exhaling shakily.

“He’s alive and safe, Roman. It’s alright,” Victor assured him, putting his arms around Roman’s waist and rubbing his hands over his back in soothing circles.

“He could have- If I hadn’t come faster, he could have died. Fuck!” Roman choked out these words past the thick lump in his throat and the tears that welled up in his eyes, all those emotions he’s tried to keep at bay running him over entirely. “I hate caring about others. I can’t fucking do this, Victor.”

“And you don’t have to. Obi-Wan’s safe now. This was it, he’ll be fine and you won’t have to worry about him anymore.”

Roman scoffed, tightening his grip around his partner, “It’s not that easy, Zsasz. I can’t just turn it off and not care about him.”

“Okay, maybe not. But I’m here, right? You’re not alone with this. I’ll always be here to be taking care of you, too.”

“Fuck, you can be so fucking sweet sometimes, you know that?” Roman chuckled softly, slowly relaxing a little bit.

“Only with you, though.”

“I know.” And it was true – he did know that; it was a privilege he’d never expected to have.

A moment of silence passed between them before Victor gave Roman a gentle nudge, tilting his head to the hallway. Turning around, Obi-Wan stood a couple of feet away from them. He was still trembling slightly, but not as heavily as before, and he was twisting and twirling his hair between and around his fingers nervously. It was a habit Roman saw him doing ever since he’d been a child.

Now that Roman could actually look at his brother while he was cleaned up, he could see the bruises around his neck and on his face. It made his blood boil and he wished he could murder this fucker all over again, more cruelly and drawing it out, then; but unfortunately that wasn’t possible. Still, from what he could see, those were the only physical damages that Obi-Wan has endured from this incident, which was definitely a relief.

Letting go of Zsasz, Roman stepped towards his little brother and gently combed his fingers through his hair that wasn’t being fidgeted with.

“I knew him,” Obi-Wan said suddenly, so quietly that Roman almost didn’t catch it at all.

“Your stalker? Who the fuck was he?” Roman kept brushing Obi-Wan’s hair back, while they spoke.

“I- I went on a couple of dates with him. People called him Maul and that was what he always went by, too. Uh- I turned him down before it got really serious, because he just- I don’t know. I just had a bad feeling about him. I should have never-,” Obi-Wan then started sobbing violently, doubling over as he convulsed with the force of his cries as tears ran down his reddened face.

Instantly, Roman embraced Obi-Wan, hugging him tightly as he shushed him quietly, assuring him that he’s safe and couldn’t have known that this would happen; that he’s done the right things and that he was okay now; that it was all over. Roman usually didn’t find himself in the position of comforting someone else, but he did and said what Zsasz did with him at times like this. Victor also came up to them, then and put a gentle hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. It had warmth spread through Roman’s chest – a feeling that he was rather unused to, but he has only ever felt it with Zsasz.

Eventually, Obi-Wan started to calm down and his sobs turned into quiet hiccups. With the backs of his hands he wiped away the tears from his cheeks, pulling a bit of a face as he did.

“Thank you for everything, Roman. And you too, Victor. Thank you,” Obi-Wan said brokenly, clearing his throat in-between each sentence to no avail. His voice was so raw and abused.

“Anything for you, baby brother,” Roman responded and he meant it, he truly did, he would walk through fire for Obi-Wan.

Wrapping his arms around Roman’s waist tightly, Obi-Wan nuzzled his face in his brother’s chest and quietly, but with a small smile on his wobbling lips said, “I love you, Romy.”

And just like so many years ago, Roman’s heart hurt at those words; even though a genuine smile fought its way onto his face when he kissed the top of his little brother’s head and looked Victor in the eyes with wonder and all sorts of overwhelming feelings coursing through his system, making him feel dizzy.

“I love you, too.”

[babysizedfics]

oh if you're still taking prompts, maybe something with logan helping roman with his fear of the dark? (unless you've already written something about this for the main fic, in which case feel free to ignore this!) i love your work!

I combined these two since you both had really similar ideas! Thank you both for requesting, this was really fun to do 🥺

This is one of what I am calling Little/Big asides - short one-shots that happen in the same universe as the series, but that aren't essential to the overarching plot!

Title: The Little Prince’s Rescue

Summary: Roman is up past bedtime and regrets it when there is a sudden blackout.

Word count: 2,250

Also on AO3!

oOo 

Really, Roman should not have known there was a blackout.

It was hours past bedtime, and he was supposed to be sound asleep. He should not have been huddled under his blanket at 2am reading The Princess Bride. He should not have noticed the moment his Disney lullabies coming from his speaker suddenly cut off. He should definitely not have been aware of how the projected stars from his nightlight quickly faded out. But regardless of what he should or should not have been doing a few moments ago, right now he was bouncing on his toes by his bedroom door, trying to work up the nerve to go out into the hallway.

The pitch-black hallway.

His phone torch lit up his corner of the room in a harsh white light, shaking slightly in his hand. It did not do much to dispel the feeling that something was going to pounce on him. Maybe from over there! He gasped and flipped the torch to point at a darkened corner, biting his lip when he only saw his painting easel.

What about behind him? He whimpered and jumped, spinning around quickly to watch out for any sign of monsters. It was only his dressing gown.

Roman groaned quietly under his breath though the heavy beating of his heart drowned out the noise. He wanted his Dad. He wanted to be held.

Even though Roman certainly could have been big at that moment… he really didn’t feel like it. He was scared and shaky and tired and alone and did something just move behind him?

He backed up against the wall, covering his vulnerable back. Then something truly awful happened. The torchlight went out.

Roman looked down at his phone in panic, seeing the power down screen flashing at him mockingly before going completely black.

‘No, no, no, no,’ he whimpered. He had forgotten to charge his phone!

He had no defence against the dark now. He really, really needed Dad.

‘Okay, come on, come on, come on,’ he whispered to himself. He reached for the door handle and squeezed it tightly. ‘I’m a big boy. I can do it.’

He twisted the knob with a squeak and tugged the door open.

His stomach twisted.

Roman’s room had several windows that allowed the light of the moon and stars to penetrate the darkness. Not the hallway, though. Looking out of the open doorway, Roman felt as if he was staring into a black hole.

Ice-cold dread washed over him, but there was no going back now. The door was open and if there were any monsters they would surely creep into his room before he closed it again. He needed Dad. He needed Mom.

‘I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy,’ Roman muttered under his breath as he stepped into the hallway, completely swallowed by darkness. It felt suffocating.

‘I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy!’ His whispers became more frantic and shaken as he moved further into the void, his knees trembling with each step. He wished he could run, but the hallway was adorned by several bookcases and a coffee table, not to mention the top of the staircase. It didn’t sound very clever to risk hurting himself. He just had to be brave and walk slowly.

After only a few steps, there was suddenly a metallic click and a shuffle. Before he had a chance to react, Roman bumped into something warm and soft. He jumped back against the hallway wall with a shriek.

His head spun so much that he felt like it would take off from his body and fly away. The panic clouding his thoughts almost distracted him from the quiet sniffles and whimpers coming from a few feet in front of him.

‘H-hello?’ Roman squeaked. Please don’t be a monster!

‘Wo-Wo?’

It was Virgil! Roman let out a massive, shaky sigh of relief and rushed forward. He found the soft warmth again and wrapped it in a tight hug. Trembling fingers clutched tightly at the back of his shirt.

Embracing his little brother, Roman felt his terror trickle into a softer fear. He felt vulnerable, but in less of a dangerous way. It only took a few seconds for tears to spring to his eyes. He ducked his head down to bury his face against the top of Virgil’s head. They clung to each other tightly for a moment, both sniffling.

As Roman readjusted his hold, there was a small creak of the floorboards beneath them and they both startled. Virgil’s hand flew out, presumably to hold Roman’s, though it being so dark he missed and his fingers only dug into his hip.

Roman felt a small surge of courage (though it was distant). He was terrified of the monsters, but he had his little brother to look after too now! He had to be brave and get them to their caregivers. Even if all he felt like doing right now was crumbling to the floor and crying.

‘I-it’s okay, Vee-Vee,’ Roman said shakily, reaching down to wrap his free hand around Virgil’s fingers. ‘Let’s get Dad.’

‘Papa?’

‘Yeah. We just -’ he had to pause to gulp around a lump in his throat, looking around and not seeing a single break in the blackness ‘- gotta go through here and find him.’

The fingers around Roman’s hand tightened. ‘Scawy.’

Blood pulsed loudly in his ears. ‘M-maybe a bit,’ Roman stammered. Admitting how scared he was to his baby brother would just make him seem weak. Princes had to be big and strong!

He tugged on Virgil’s hand and treaded carefully forwards, being slow and careful in case he was facing the wall or a bookcase. He grit his teeth as his first step found no obstacle and started slowly following that direction. Virgil stayed directly behind him, squeezing his hand so tight his knuckles ached. But it kind of made Roman feel better. It meant he wasn’t alone anymore, and that also meant he wasn’t the only one who was scared.

‘Nearly there,’ Roman whispered, trying to offer comfort to both Virgil and himself. In reality, they had barely moved a metre.

Virgil whined, trying to step past Roman and go faster.

Roman’s heart jumped and he pulled Virgil back quickly. ‘No, Vee! We need to be slow, we don’t wanna fall down or anything.’ Or get eaten by monsters!

Apparently not caring about that, Virgil whined again then pushed lightly at Roman’s back, making the older of the two stumble forward.

‘Vee!’ he yelped and planted his feet firmly on the ground. He stood frozen for a moment. The shaking of his body was uncontrollable now and hot tears finally fell to his cheeks.

That had been terrifying! What if he fell down the stairs or was pushed right into a monster’s mouth?! Now he understood why Virgil cried whenever he fell over.

‘D-don’t just…’ Roman choked, silencing when he could feel a sob working its way up his throat.

A muffled bang came from the other side of the wall and they both jumped. Roman felt a sudden downward pull on his hand before it was released, and he realised Virgil had dropped to the floor. He’d probably been startled into a younger headspace and could no longer stand on his own.

‘Wan Papa,’ Virgil whimpered, sobbing quietly.

Roman gave up trying to hide his own tears. He was scared and it was dark and Virgil wasn’t holding his hand anymore and it felt cold. Who cared if he was meant to be a big boy? He wanted to cry, he wanted his caregivers!

‘D-Dad, Mom!’ he cried loudly. He didn’t want to be brave anymore. He clenched his eyes shut to try to pretend that the darkness was only behind his eyes, not all around him. There was a weird melty feeling in his chest and Roman’s lip wobbled. He hugged his arms around himself. His breath shuddered.

‘Daddy, help!’ he wailed. ‘I want Mommy!’

Roman didn’t even care that he had used new names for his caregivers, he just needed them right now!

There was another metallic click, louder this time. Roman’s eyes flew open with a gasp. Having to squint past the blur of his tears, Roman was relieved that the area of carpet in front of them was now lit up with the bright beam of a flashlight.

He saw Virgil sitting on the floor by his feet, crying into his arms.

‘It’s okay, boys,’ Mom’s voice said very gently. ‘Mama’s here, everything’s all right.’

Roman barely had a chance to realise that Logan was walking towards them before another door opened further along the hallway.

‘Sweethearts, are you okay?!’ Dad yelled, panicked.

Roman’s head spun to see Patton jogging over to them in his dressing gown, holding his own torch.

As Patton dropped to the ground and pulled Virgil into his lap, relief overwhelmed Roman. But even though his fear was mostly gone, he still felt shaky and vulnerable. It was new and he didn’t know how to feel about it. His tears didn’t stop either.

‘Little Prince?’

Roman looked back over to Logan who was now standing right in front of him, looking worried.

‘You were so very brave.’ Mom held his arms out in invitation.

A sob ripped from Roman’s lips and he rushed into the hug. ‘Mommy, it was really scary!’

‘I know,’ Mom whispered and cradled Roman’s head in his hand. It felt safe. ‘But it’s over now, we’ve got you both.’

Listening out, Roman could hear Patton cooing at Virgil and shushing him as he whimpered, though Roman didn’t care to recognise the words. He only cared about Mom hugging him right now.

‘Why don’t we all go back to bed?’

Roman’s arms clasped tighter around Logan. ‘N-no, don’t go!’

‘Logan, I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ Patton whispered from the floor.

‘I meant we could all sleep in my bed tonight,’ Logan said calmly. He brushed his hand across Roman’s hair and it calmed the rushing thoughts in the age dreamer’s mind.

He really wanted to sleep with his caregivers, especially since he felt so weird. His body felt weak and he didn’t know why but for some reason he felt… small. Not little like usual, but small. Like he needed to be held and protected from all the big, scary things. He curled his fingers in Logan’s pyjama shirt, staying quiet. He couldn’t admit that, it made him sound like a scaredy-cat!

‘Oh, isn’t that a nice idea, baby?’ Patton asked in his baby-talk voice.

Roman turned his head on Logan’s shoulder and saw that Patton was rocking a still-crying Virgil in his lap.

Virgil squeaked and hid his face against Patton’s neck, but nodded lightly.

Emboldened by his little brother’s agreement, Roman pulled back from his mom. When their eyes met, Roman suddenly felt very aware of the tear stains at his cheeks and lowered his gaze to the floor. ‘Yes, please,’ he breathed.

‘I just need to change this little one,’ Patton announced quietly. ‘We’ll be back in a few minutes.’

Roman heard him stand up and shuffle Virgil back to the regressor’s room, the light from Patton’s torch going with them. He didn’t bother watching them go. His eyes were secured on the carpet. The dark corners in the hallway still haunted his thoughts, he didn’t think he’d be able to bear actually looking at them.

It didn’t take long for Logan to lead him into his bedroom, keeping his arm firm around Roman’s shoulders. It made walking a bit awkward, but Roman didn’t even think he’d be able to take a single step without his Mom guiding him; he was so shaken. Everything around him was hazy. Probably due to a mixture of his tears, his previous panic, and his lack of sleep.

Logan only released him when he pushed Roman down onto the mattress of his king-size bed. The feeling of vulnerability returned in full force and Roman whimpered quietly. Though at least it didn’t last long as within a few seconds Logan had climbed in beside him and pulled Roman to press against his side.

‘Would you like me to leave the flashlight on?’ Logan’s body rumbled slightly with his voice.

Roman sighed at the comforting feeling and rolled to push himself closer against his mom’s warm body. His head dropped to Logan’s shoulder and nodded against it. He was too tired for words.

A little clatter sounded as Logan placed the flashlight on his bedside table, pointing the beam of light against the wall. It reflected onto the room dimly and eased the remnants of fear that had been buzzing around Roman’s head.

‘There we are. That’s better isn’t it?’ Logan murmured. His arms wrapped around Roman. ‘You’re safe now.’

For the first time since his nightlight had gone out, Roman really believed that to be true. He hummed in agreement and nuzzled his nose slightly in Logan’s shirt.

Mom spoke softer than Roman had ever heard before, ‘Let’s get some sleep.’

Glad that he could finally rest, Roman allowed his heavy eyes to fall shut. He swore he was never going to ignore bedtime again.

‘Love you, Mommy,’ Roman mumbled into Logan’s shirt.

Something soft and light pressed against his forehead. A kiss. ‘Love you too, little prince.’

Roman was fast asleep before the other two had returned.

oOo

Requests are still open! | AO3 link

[logical-little-lies]

{Chapter 8- Accidents and Bubble Baths}//Soft, Cute, and Far Smarter Than You (Sanders Sides Agere/CGLRE)

A/N: So basically- this chapter starts off by kicking off the romance part of the story, then skips to Logan regressing. It's one of the longer chapters of this story and I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you guys like it!

Warning for Logan having an accident (wetting himself) while small and wearing a pull-up.

--

"Are you doing okay, Lo?" Patton asked the man as he entered the kitchen from his spot at the table.

"Mhm." Logan nodded, pulling out a chair to sit next to him. "I have so much work to do, though." He groaned.

After a few days of remaining in his headspace following Halloween, Logan had a lot of work to catch up on. He had agreed to the break, and now he needed to make up for it.

Patton chuckled. "If you need anything, let me know. I'll be cutting you off at dinner time." He spoke in a teasing tone.

Logan laughed. "Patton, I'm better at managing my work now. I don't need you to drag me away from the computer because I'm not taking care of myself."

Logan used to slave away in his room, doing his work, working ahead, without any sort of breaks or self care. And then, when he decided that he was done, he'd regress all by himself, until he was forced to interact with the other sides or he had more work to do.

"Okay, okay! But you're eating dinner with the family. No exceptions."

Logan nodded slowly. "Are we the only ones up?"

Patton confirmed. "I'm basically everyone's alarm clock, so yeah. You're the only one that sometimes gets up before I make my rounds."

"Did you want any help with breakfast? Since I'm up, I mean..."

Patton's face broke out into a wide smile. "Of course! You up for pancakes?" He questioned, getting up from his seat and going over to the cabinets, rummaging around the kitchen and grabbing random things.

He'd run over and place them on the table, gathering the ingredients he'd need. "Guess I don't have a choice..." Logan rolled his eyes, before jumping in to help his friend.

They quickly go to work on setting up, Patton making the batter, and Logan making the pancakes.

"We should hang out more," Patton commented, rinsing out dishes in the sink as Logan busied himself with flipping pancakes.

Logan chuckled, seemingly confused. "We hang out all the time."

"That's with little you." Patton corrected. "And I love caring for you when you're regressed, really. But I still feel like you're kinda..sheltered? When you're big, I mean."

Logan frowned, using his spatula to flip the pancake onto its uncooked side. "You're right. I'm sorry, its just hard opening up, I guess. And we can hang out more, if you want." Logan paused his rambling to push down the pancake, listening to it sizzle. "While I'm big." He added.

"Sounds great, Lo. What would you want to do?" Patton asked in curiosity.

"We could catch a movie or go to a cafe," Logan suggested with a shrug. He realized right after the words came out of his mouth that those were two very date like ideas. He was glad that he was facing the stove and not Patton directly, because his face was quite red.

Logan suddenly remembered something Virgil had told him. About thinking that Patton had a crush on big him. He had refused to believe it then...

What about now?

"Sounds like a plan," Patton had a confident and perky smile on his face as he set whatever he had been cleaning on the counter, coming closer to him. "How about this weekend? If you aren't little or busy." He suggested.

"Y-yeah, sure." Logan nodded a bit, still blushing and stumbling over his words. It was so weird to him how his view on Patton shifted. Their relationship dynamic shifted depending on his headspace. Sometimes, Patton was the man who played with him and cuddled him. Others, he was the one who cooked him meals and told him what to do.

But most of the time, when he wasn't feeling like a little kid or teenager, Patton was a really cute sweetheart who made him all flustered. The fact that he was willing to give up so much time to take care of him just showed that he really cared, and that made Logan happy.

He scooped the pancake off the pan, setting it on a plate that had been sitting next to the counter. Patton was standing next to him now, able to get a clear view of his face. As Logan was distracted pouring batter into the pan, Patton got close to his ear and whispered out a few words. So quiet and quick that Logan wasn't even sure that they were real.

"It's a date."

Logan's eyes widened, the logical trait immediately turning to face the moral trait.  Patton had backed away to the sink, pulling a face of confusion when he saw the others red face. "What's wrong, Lo?"

"N-nothing. I'm looking forward to this weekend." He muttered, biting his lip and facing the stove again. Patton smirked, humming a bit before returning to doing the dishes.

This weekend should be fun.

--

"Baby, it's time to wake up."

Logan heard Patton's soft voice as he was pulled out of sleep. After a day or two of working and managing to get everything done, he had woken up small. And it seems that his caregiver had been prepared for that.

"Daddy," Logan mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

"Here, you need to see." Patton chuckled, helping him sit up and sliding his glasses onto his face. "That's better. How are you feeling?"

"Sweepy." Logan decided,blinking his eyes open and letting them adjust. He looked around the room, letting his eyes focus.

Patton seemed amused. "Yeah? Well, we'll just have to have a cuddly nap later, yeah?"

Logan quickly nodded, reaching out his arms. "Wan cuddles!" he pouted, making grabby hands to the carer.

Patton laughed again, pulling him into a hug and onto his lap. "Do we have a little fussy baby today?" he questioned teasingly. Logan shook his head as he pulled away from the embrace, settling in his lap.

"Just sleepy." he assured. Patton wrapped his arms around Logan's waist as he spoke.

"Well, I think you might wanna be more awake today. Your brother is little, but he's a little bigger than usual. Which means...." Patton trailed off, seeing if he could figure it out. Logan only tilted his head, blinking up at him. "He can play more! When he's to small to do certain things, you get bored because you can only do so much with him, right?"

Logan nodded. He felt panicky on the inside, but he tried not to express that. Logan felt so small right now, and now he was hearing that Virgil was bigger? Logan was supposed to be the big brother!

"Well, he's wide awake and he wants to play with his brother. It'll be fun," Patton smiled at him. "How old are you today? Vee said that he's five."

"Seven!" Logan lied, biting on his lip.

Patton didn't second guess it. A lot of the time, when Logan first woke up, he'd be a lot more childlike then he actually felt. He had no reason to believe that he wasn't just a sleepy seven year old, instead of a three year old trying to be 'grown up'.

"Alright, kiddo! Let's get you dressed for the day!"

--

Logan felt like he had to skip out on what he really wanted. Declining the offer for a pacifier, asking for a shirt and overalls instead of one of his onesies, doing everything to seem like he wasn't a baby.

He wore a light blue sweater with clouds on it, paired with black shortalls. "You look so cute, baby." Patton complimented.

Patton calling him 'baby' every two seconds didn't help. Logan didn't even know why he was lying. It made him feel guilty. But he also didn't like feeling so vulnerable. He needed to be bigger then Vee. He's the big brother.

The thing was, he acted very different as a three year old then when he was seven. Adjusting his behaviors to sell the act seemed impossible.

"Can I have Lilly?" Logan questioned, turning away from the mirror and looking back at his carer,who nodded.

"One elephant stuffie, coming right up," Patton joked, going over to his bed and grabbing the stuffed toy. He held it out to the little, causing Logan to smile. He hugged the elephant tightly, rocking on his feet.

"Are you feeling smaller then seven, sweetie?" Patton asked, looking him up and down. He was so much..softer seeming then he was when he was seven. Logan shook his head, only feeling a little bad for lying.

"Still just sleepy." he replied. Patton nodded softly, walking past him and opening the door. He let Logan walk through it, following him.

Patton should've picked up on the fact that he was lying a lot sooner. There were so many things off about how he was acting, and yet, Patton managed to come to a explanation besides 'he's lying to me' every single time.

First off, no matter how sleepy Logan was, he usually was full of energy after breakfast and a sippy cup of juice. He pointed this out to Roman while the boys watched cartoons together. "Logan is very sleepy today. He's acting...weird?" Patton sounded questioning of himself.

"Give him something sugary. If it's really just him being sleepy, he should be back to a hyper kiddo with enough sugar." Roman told him. "Have fun with the sugar high, though."

Patton chuckled in response.

"He likes pop when he's this old. I think I can make an exception to the normal rule."

--

"Here." Patton set a sippy cup full of some sugary soda in front of him on the coffee table

"Thought I could only have juice." Logan mumbled. He always asked for soda when he was a bigger kid, and Patton almost always said no. But when he was littler, he preferred milk and fruit juices. The bubbly feeling felt weird on his tongue and he didn't like it,

"Yeah, usually. But I know you're really sleepy today and I thought this might wake you up." Patton explained.

"Can I has milk?" Logan shook his head, pushing the cup away from him. He looked up at Patton with pouty eyes.

"Uh, yeah. Sure thing, sweetheart." Patton picked the cup back up, seemingly confused.

Logan almost wanted to admit to lying then and there. Patton treated him different based off of how old he was. If he admitted to being three, he'd probably be in Daddy's lap, being fed a bottle of warm milk. Logan reminded himself that he was lying, so even if he admitted his mistake, he'd probably be in trouble.

So Logan continued throughout the day, trying to act as big as he could. It was really hard being a seven year old. Bigger kid stuff was hard for someone that felt like a little baby.

There were so many instances where Patton should've caught him but didn't. So many instances where Logan had to lie again and again.

At one point, Virgil had asked to play video games. Sometimes, they'd play more kid-appropriate games together, with Logan showing him how it works. Instead, he fumbled with the controller. He sniffled when he couldn't figure out what button did what, becoming all the more frustrated with this situation.

"M-maybe this is a little overwhelming for Logan," Patton jumped in, taking the controller away from him the moment he saw his eyes gloss over. He pulled him out of his seat, hugging him. "The game's stupid anyway." he joked, trying to get him to smile.

Logan didn't though, simply pulling away and sitting back down in his previous spot. He picked up Lilly from next to him and hugged her tightly, facing his attention torwards the screen and watching Roman show Virgil the controls instead.

By then, Patton had a feeling he knew what was going on. There were so many other small things, and his behavior overall was a lot closer to a much younger age.

It wasn't until Patton found Logan in his bedroom, crying with a pair of wet shortalls on, that he finally put it together with certainty.

When Logan was as little as three, Patton made a point to remind him to go to the bathroom. Sometimes, he'd forget and hold it off as long as possible. But he hadn't actually had any accidents (to Patton's knowledge) until the reminders were gone.

When he was older, Patton didn't do as much to assure that there'd be no accidents. The older he was, the more capable of going to the bathroom himself he was.

Of course, when Logan lied about his age, things got confusing and he ended up here.

Patton was planning on pulling Logan to the side and talking to him about the day, to see if he was possibly right about the boy lying. When he noticed him, suddenly jump up and run off, he decided to wait until he got back. Except, he didn't come back for a while.

"I'm gonna go check on Logan." Patton told Roman, who quickly nodded.

"I was wondering where he went."

--

"Logan, baby? Are you in there?" Patton knocked on his bedroom door, hearing a whimper on the other side. Followed by a sniffle. Logan was crying.

"Baby, I'm coming in, okay?"

He didn't get a response. He opened the door, glad the boy hadn't locked it behind him. Logan was standing by his personal bathroom door, his shorts soaked with a little puddle under him. Patton snapped, getting rid of the puddle magically to avoid the mess on the carpet. Logan didn't even question his use of powers, going quiet as he waited for Patton's words.

Logan was crying, sobbing even, seemingly scared of what his caregiver would say. "Looks like you had a little accident. I think this calls for a bubble bath," he spoke softly, smiling a bit as he approached him. Logan seemed genuinely confused by his softness and sympathy.

"M' sorry, d-didn't mean to.." he mumbled.

"That's why I called it an accident, sweetheart." Patton said, cupping his face and wiping away his tears using his thumb. "Toddlers have them sometimes, baby."

"N-not a- Not a..." he stumbled over his words, babbling.

"Not a toddler? You're still gonna lie and try to say you're seven?" Patton questioned, raising his eyebrow, dropping his hand from his face. Logan looked down, blinking out a few tears and shaking his head.

"m' sowwy."

"Don't be, baby. I'm not mad at you, I just don't want you to lie to me. Especially not about something like that," he told him. Logan looked up at him, remaining silent. Patton continued, "I care for you differently depending on your age. It's why I always ask, I do whatever I can to make sure you're happy and healthy, but those needs and wants change."

Logan nodded a bit. He didn't try to say anything, knowing that he'd probably just mumble out another apology. "Why'd you pretend to be older, sweetheart? I'm not mad, I'm just wondering," Patton opened the bathroom door, taking Logan's hand to help him inside.

"Wanna be bigger then Vee." Logan admitted as Patton sat him down on the closed toilet seat.

"You don't always have to be the big brother. I know you like playing that role, but sometimes it's not easy to do that," Patton spoke in a reassuring tone. It told Logan that he wasn't mad, but what he said was probably right. "You're gonna be littler than him sometimes." Patton explained, leaning over the edge of the bath tub and putting the drain in.

"You want it like usual?" he asked. Logan usually liked warm water that was on the edge of steaming hot. Patton didn't know how it didn't burn him, but he liked it. Logan nodded, and Patton moved to twist the faucet on. "Is this your first accident?"

Logan looked down, shaking his head a bit. "Dis only happen when I'm this small- not this small a lot."

"Hmm. You've only been this little with me a few times. I wish you told me that this was a problem, baby," he felt the water, deciding that the temperature was acceptable before standing up and facing Logan.

"M' sorry. Thought you'd think it's weird," Logan let Patton unbuckle his shortalls, standing up and letting him slide them off.

"Accidents aren't weird. A lot of kids are still in the process of potty training by the time they're three. Virgil wears diapers or pull ups most of the time when he's little," Patton pointed out, tapping Logan's arm once the wet pants were set to the side. Logan lifted his arms, letting his caregiver pull his shirt over his head.

Logan blushed, biting on his lip. Patton threw the shirt into the same pile as the shortalls, before quickly moving to tickle Logan's bare sides. The boy giggled, pushing his hands away. "My point is," Patton removed his hands after a moment, his antics leaving a light smile on Logan's face. He continued, "You didn't need to hide this from me. I'd never get mad at you, or judge you for something like this. Can you promise not to keep things from me anymore? No lying about how old you feel, or hiding accidents."

Logan nodded quickly, holding out his pinky. He had felt bad about lying that day, and the accidents had been a long term secret. He had hoped he wouldn't of had to worry about that, since he had managed to get by with Patton's reminders the few times he did get this small.

Patton chuckled, wrapping his pinky around his and smiling. "Finish getting undressed while I put the bubbles in, okay?"

Logan nodded, waiting until Patton was facing away from him to pull off his wet underwear. He felt so gross. He stood there, chewing on his lip until Patton turned off the faucet, setting away to reveal a very bubbly bath. Logan took Patton's outstretched hand, letting him help him step into the tub.

For a moment, Patton let him settle into the water as he typed out a message on his phone, letting Roman know what happened. Then, he set it down and redirected his attention to his little boy.

Patton helped him wash his body, ticking him when his fingers ran over a part of him that was sensitive. Logan's worries seemed to wash away in the water. The idea that Patton was mad at him went away with Patton's constant reassurance and affection. The embarrassment from being so little faded as he splashed and played in the water.

"You keep playing while I go get you a new outfit, okay?"

Logan nodded a bit, currently distracted by the bright red cup in his hand. All he was doing was taking the plastic container and filling it with water, before dumping it out, but he was entertained by it.

Patton picked up his phone on the way out, closing the door behind him and seeing Roman at the door. "How is he?" he questioned.

"Okay, I think. I ran him a bubble bath and he's playing," Patton replied, going over to Logan's closet and pulling out a few things. He located his unicorn onesie. He usually didn't let Logan run around in it during the day, because the boy would be so upset if he spilt something on it, but he knew it would probably be the most comforting thing right now.

"I talked to him about hiding things from me. Told him that he doesn't always need to be bigger then Vee. I'm not getting onto him to much though, he feels bad and I think he just needs comfort right now." Patton admitted, going over to his dresser and pulling out his plain dark blue pacifier, setting it with the onesie.

"As long as he understands why he shouldn't do that, there's no need to be to stern on him." Roman nodded, entering the room and approaching Logan's bed. He set the item he was holding with the pile. "I'm pretty sure Logan and Virgil wear the same sizes in pull-ups. These ones are technically overnight ones, so they should hold a few accidents. I explained to Vee that Logan's a bit smaller than him right now already."

Patton nodded, smiling a bit. "I don't know how often these accidents happen, so I'm just going to have him wear one until he's bigger and I'll talk to him about it then. We should be down soon."

Roman nodded, leaving the room without another word.

"Hi, baby. You having fun in the water?" Patton opened the door, scaring Logan. Once he realized that it was just Patton, he nodded a bit. Patton seemed amused, shutting the door behind him and setting the pile of clothes in his hands down on the closed toilet. He had grabbed a towel from his closet on his way back into the bathroom, setting it with the clothes. Patton sat in front of the bath.

Logan slapped his hands on the surface of the water, causing it to splash. He giggled, bouncing in place. "Spwash!" he was so entertained by this.

"Maybe we shouldn't 'spwash' water on Daddy," Patton chuckled, wiping his face with his hand. Logan smiled, doing the splash motion again to see how Patton would react. Patton only shook his head with a playful sigh. "You're a silly baby. You know that?"

Logan blushed, sticking his tongue out before bursting into more giggles. "Hey, Little Scholar? How would you feel about wearing a pull up for today? Until you're bigger."

Logan frowned a bit, seemingly thinking. "Just so if you have another accident, there's no issue. This isn't a punishment, I just thought it would help." Patton rushed to explain, waiting for his reaction. Logan's face was red.

"Not a baby." he mumbled.

"But you are a very little toddler. Pull ups and diapers aren't exclusive to itty bitty babies." Logan still shook his head. Patton sighed, reaching over to the pile of clothes and picking up the pull up. "It has spaceships on it," Patton tried to sound convincing, "No one will see it either."

Logan seemed curious at the mention of 'spaceships', his eyes glancing over it as Patton held it up for him. "How about this...If you be a really good boy and do this for me, I'll let you wear your unicorn onesie." he bargained. He was gonna let him wear his unicorn onesie regardless, but Logan didn't have to know that.

Logan quickly nodded, agreeing on those terms. He wasn't against the idea of wearing the diaper, he was just embarrassed. But embarrassment could be overridden by a cute onesie.

"Thank you, Little Astronaut. I'm proud of you," Patton set the pull up back on the pile, before standing up and holding out his hand. Logan took it, stepping out of the bath. Patton helped him dry off, helping him step into the pull-up, which was surprisingly comfortable. Then, he zipped up the onesie for him, and gave him the pacifier.

"You ready to go downstairs? You can play with your brother, if you want."

Logan nodded a bit, letting Patton lead the way out of his room and down the stairs. The rest of the day was surely gonna be better than it's start.

Logan had gone from a sobbing mess trying to apologize to his caregiver, to a playful baby boy with just a bubble bath and some reassurance. Patton always made him feel so much better about himself. No matter how little he was, despite any accidents or temper tantrums. That's part of the reason why their relationship worked.

He knew how to adjust to taking care of him depending on his headspace and emotions, and was always willing to adjust if it'd make him more comfortable. He was always so understanding and soft with him, even when he broke the rules. He was the perfect caregiver for him

And, come Saturday, he'd find out if Patton would also make the perfect boyfriend.    

--

A/N: Send me asks/reblog with your thoughts+reactions to this please! Feedback is appreciated sm!

[sidespart]

I’m sleep deprived but I wan like. An AU where Patton and Dee are brothers or cousins or best friends ornsomin and they’re kids. And they go to like. The monthly market in the forest clearing. Which is magic. Maybe they’re selling their dads potions or vegetables or whatever it is.

And Patton finds a witches stall with like. An even littler kid in a bird cage. And the (dragon?) witch is like ‘scram this is a fairy child it’s song could bewitch the king himself and it will cost you more then your family makes in 10 years now sho sho’

so Patton goes to Dee and is like. “There is a smol child locked up over there and that Is Wrong.” And Dee goes “There is a full grown witch over there and they will Literally Murder Us” and they stare at each other with Pattons pout getting increasingly justice-y until Dee goes FINE.

And Dee goes straight up to the dragon witch and starts spinning some yarn about the rising price of newt eyes or whatever like the little con man he is, whilst Patton sneaks behind her back tries to bust open the cage. But obvi as he finally breaks the lock he makes a noise and the witch spins round and screams and they all make a run for it but the witch grabs Dee by the hand until Patton turns round a friggin. Yeets the empty cage at her and then they’re both running and they make It to the tree line.

And they keep running for a while but it seems like no ones chasing them so they slow down and introduce themselves to the fae kid. He’s got red eyes and brown hair and butterfly wings which are a bit ripped and can’t seem to talk and Patton tells Dee what the witch said about his song being bewitching and wonders if she did something to him to stop him singing and Dee is just ‘So not ONLY did we risk life and limb to rescue this fairy but now we find out it doesn’t even work??” Which makes Patton glare at him so Dee mumbles something like “we can’t keep calling him kid, what about ‘Roman’?” Which is the same of the wise and handsome prince in one of there favourite childhood stories (and Patton explains to Roman that Dee finds apologising straightforwardly like a normal person difficult but giving him such an important name is his way of *trying* to say sorry) and Roman seems happy with the name and they take turns giving him piggy back rides back to their dads cottage deep in the forest

(Virgil Dad is just like. Patton is supposed to keep them out of trouble and Dee is supposed to get them out of any trouble they do get in to how has this gone so terribly fucking wrong.

But he does immediately go get roman a bath and some clean clothes because harbinger of doom or not he’s still a little abused kid and Virgil is like. Dad Instincts Activate. He also tries to look at ros ripped wing but when he touches it to flinches back and several glass jars on the other side of the room shatter so that ends quickly)

So the next day the three kids decided to set out to figure out how to return Roman to his real family (Virgil can’t leave the grounds of his house because convenient curse but they’re planning to go to their uncle Logan’s (not sure if he’s Virgils brother or boyfriend or just a weird forest dweller) first and get his advice before anything else anyway.

But even through Pat and Dee know every inch of the Forrest they’re hopelessly lost within hours.

And dees hand that the witch grabbed is itchy and painful and seems to be growing scales??

And roman is looking more and more distressed and sometimes one of his eyes seems to glow green.

And Patton doesn’t know how to fix any of this but they gotta try.

Right?

[the-mandalorian-clone-lover]

Aces in Spaces Chapter 17

Little happy sleepover bit a few days after the last chapter :D

Little note about the posting schedule, I’ll be around family that doesn’t agree with me being Ace for the next weeks because of the holidays. I think I’ll still find small moments to post the usual updates, I just wanted to say they might not be at the same times as normal though I’ll try to stick to the same days.

Anyway! Hope you guys enjoy!

Tags: @sunshinepascal @rentskenobi @maybege @obaby-wan @princessxkenobi @agent-450

Masterlist

2yrs 3 months

It’s Erica’s first night in the penthouse, its only a sleep over she hasn’t started moving in yet, but despite Roman’s offer of the guest room she has decided she wants to share with him for the night. He offered her the bathroom if she wanted to change after dinner, but she’d shrugged, deciding to stay in the clothes she had worn over. It’s that same pair of black jeans that she’s had since they started dating that make her legs look miles longer than they already are, has he mentioned he loves that? A long sleeved t-shirt from one of her various martial arts escapades keeps her warm and he acknowledges she’s probably snug enough for movie night (no, he’s not hoping she opted to do that because she forgot her pajamas and then she has to borrow one of his shirts, that’s ridiculous). He goes to change into sweatpants and an undershirt himself, he prefers to sleep shirtless but he grabs the shirt anyway, the last thing he wants to do is introduce unnecessary nudity if it would make her uncomfortable.

The movie passes in comfortable silence, it’s mostly background noise as they both think so loudly its near impossible for either one to focus. A few minutes in Erica gradually migrates closer to Roman, over the course of the first hour they get more and more wrapped up in each other that by the time the credits roll, Roman almost regrets that they have to come apart to go to bed.

He then realizes he should have spent this whole time contemplating how exactly he was going to ask her if she was ready for bed without it sounding weird.

Even if he is overthinking it, he’s certain he can’t be too careful.

She actually ends up breaking the silence first.

“I want to change before we get in bed, I normally drink some tea, would you like some?”

She’s always so diplomatic, giving them both something to focus on instead of the potential awkwardness and he meets her eyes, nodding. “You know where everything is in the kitchen?”

She laughs softly, “I’ve been around here enough that I can find some mugs lover”

He smiles, nodding again, “I’ll wait for you then.”

She meets him in the bedroom a few moments later both hands occupied with coffee mugs.

“I left my bag by the door; I know you don’t get up early so I’ll be able to find it.” She teases him softly as she walks toward the bed and he spits his tongue at her, squeezing his eyes shut before marking his spot in the book he’s reading and reaching out to take the drinks from her, mumbling out a ‘wouldn’t want you to spill’. She passes them across, her tongue peeking out between her lips in concentration, she breathes a sigh of relief once they’re safely in his hands.

“I can’t stand spilling it, let alone in bed.”

He nods, breathing a chuckle.

“Now don’t you laugh at me Mister, you wouldn’t sleep in a wet bed any more than me!”

He has to give her that, it’s virtually inarguable.

“Do you read before bed too?”

She tilts her hand in a so-so motion as she throws the covers back to sit. “Sometimes I do, I forgot to grab my book this afternoon, so I was going to reach out to a friend.”

He nods, handing her cup back to her, pulling back as she reaches for it, causing them both to laugh before he passes it to her carefully. “Are they far away?”

She nods, settling into the covers. “Over in the UK, she’s a great friend though.”

He hums, settling back against the headboard and pulling the covers up before re-opening his book and together they read for a little longer, sipping their tea. It’s a minty blend, probably a dash of chamomile in it as well, and Roman likes it; wouldn’t mind drinking it every night really. Speaking of night, its getting quite late and he’s faced again with the question of how to get them both to bed without being awkward. He decides it’s his turn to pose a solution.

“Do you want me to turn the lights out?” He supposes it’s safe enough.

Erica looks to him before looking down and frowning at her phone in thought. “At my house, I usually walk through and check the doors before I do, just a last assurance before I fall asleep.”

He understands that, reaching to throw the covers back, “Would you like me to, or would you like to come along?”

She smiles at him before her eyes fall down to her hands again. “Would you mind? I don’t mean to be a bother at all, I—”

He shushes her comfortingly “Not at all not at all, sometimes I call Butch over and he tucks me in and turns on my night light so I don’t get scared.” He winks at her, bringing her head forward to kiss her forehead. “I’ll be back love”

He gets out of the bed then, taking the mugs with him and depositing them in the sink before testing each door and making his way back to his room, turning lights off as he goes. When he turns off the bedroom light and crawls into bed; he feels the awkwardness looming again. They’re both lying on their backs, a full arm’s length between them, and even if they do start off movies like this it feels exceptionally far now.

“This is awkward.”

Erica doesn’t sound awkward, just sounding as if she’s making a statement of fact.

“Yup.”

It’s said in agreement. Roman doesn’t know what else to add to her assessment.

“Well, come on then.” Erica’s sitting up now, pushing the covers back and turning toward him. He copies her movements but is incredibly confused and he figures it shows. She’s reaching for his hands then and he offers them readily, then she’s pulling him to stand.

“We’ll jump on the bed like kids, you know you want to.”

They do. He knows it isn’t long but they’re both laughing loudly enough that he’d worry if he had neighbors and she still looks so beautiful. They collapse on the bed together after awhile, still holding each other’s arms and their legs on top of each other. She leans forward in a flurry to press her lips to his and pulls away to shove him down against the bed.

“Now come on let’s actually get some sleep!”

He laughs, pulling the blankets up over the both of them again, wrapping her up in his arms and brushing his nose against hers before they fall back into a comfortable silence that actually allows for sleep.

“This is better.”

Another statement of fact.

“Yup.”

Another agreement.

 *Next morning*

 He half expected her to already be awake and out of bed by the time he joined the conscious world. However, as he comes to, there’s a suspicious amount of warmth for him to be the only one under the covers. The hands he can feel under his shirt are also suspiciously, not his. He blinks his eyes open, finding the ceiling staring back at him. She’s to his left, head perched on his shoulder, arm wiggled up under his shirt, hand resting in-between his pectorals, leg crossed over one of his. She looks, divine. He’s died and gone to heaven because she’s an absolute vision. The sunlight is leaking through the corners of the shades and its framing her face in a low light that’s enough to make out the features without being enough to wake her.

Wake her. He nearly startles at the thought. She’s always been an early riser, and several of her other habits indicate her being a (practiced) light sleeper as well. The fact that she’s still asleep at this hour (and he wagers its nearly nine at least) feels like a colossal demonstration of trust. She made herself completely vulnerable with him, and if her body did wake up naturally at her normal time (she joked once that was 4am and frankly Roman hasn’t had the guts to determine if she was serious), she’d obviously chosen to go back to sleep. He’s floored. He shouldn’t be, he supposes, two years is more than enough time to cultivate trust, but at the same time, he treasures it. This gift she’s given him.

He brings his hand up to rest on hers over his shirt, trying to be careful not to disturb her. Her face scrunches up anyway and he runs his fingers along hers soothingly in an effort to postpone the inevitable. She breathes in and her eyes open, darting to his chest then out into the room before turning her head to look up to him.

She smiles, “Good morning” her voice is a little deeper than usual, a little scratchy even.

He hums, brushing some hair away from her face “So it seems I’m not the only late sleeper.” He’s sure his own voice doesn’t sound much different than hers.

She spits her tongue at him, and he smiles good naturedly before kissing her forehead and mumbling a soft inquiry about her sleep into it.

She grunts, “Well, there was this extremely large man who kept kicking me around midnight or so but he didn’t snore so I didn’t think I could justify shoving him out of bed.”

Roman scoffs “Well that sounds extremely rude, you must like him if you didn’t throw him out, you’ve never been the type of woman to put up with nonsense. Was it anyone I know?” He tries to be casual, to assume nonchalance despite the fireworks of joy and absolute bliss that are currently exploding inside of him at the sheer domesticity of the whole morning thus far.

She blinks twice then frowns at him. “Is there another man in this bed that I’m unaware of?”

He shakes his head, leaning back to get a better look at her face. “Not unless you have something to confess?”

She laughs then dropping her head down against his chest and he abandons his ministrations on her hand in favor of cradling her head against him.

“I’m in love with you, you know.”

She looks up at him and his hand slides down between them. “That is so wonderful my dear. Do you plan to let me have tea before you keep being adorable or is this strictly a before-conscious-thought thing?”

His grin splits his face.

“Well, if you want tea you’ll have to get out of my bed” he traces his fingers up her arm and to her shoulder before brushing them across her cheek. “And I don’t know if I can allow that. For the sake of my health of course.”

“We could just stay in bed then” she muses quietly, eyes never leaving his “Can’t have you risking your health after all”.

He nods, eyes wandering, finding her soft pink lips in the light, swallowing before blinking back up to her golden brown eyes. She starts teasing the small bit of hair that’s within reach under his shirt and he moves his hand to hold her still. She giggles.

“Stop, tickling me.” He chides “I am trying to work up to kissing you”

“Well you have my permission to stop trying and do.”

He does, starting out slowly, bringing his fingers to lift her chin and flattening his other palm against the small of her back. His lips meet hers gently but its only a matter of moments before he wants more, rolling them both so he can lean on the arm that was under her and kiss her deeper. She’s gripping at his shoulders, fisting her hands in his shirt, his lips are warm, and soft; and as she invades his mouth she finds he still tastes like the tea they had last night. She smiles at the memory despite herself, breaking the kiss and laughing softly through her nose before Roman interrupts her by laying swift pecs all over her face. Eyebrows, cheeks, bridge of her nose, hairline, eyelids, jawline, back to her nose, and before he gets in more than two or three, she’s laughing hysterically and halfheartedly begging him to stop. His response is to start tickling her.

Because she’s here, in his bed, and of course he’s going to make her laugh.

******************

Second time she stays over its “We could run through the house after we turn the lights off?” She looks up to him with a brilliant gleam in her eye “To be safe from the monsters?”

His grin splits his face and he grabs both of her hands “Let’s do”

They do just about that, laughing and giggling all the way.

***********************************************

[likeadeuce]

Raven Cycle WIP: Adam & Gansey

A little WIP for mandi2341: Based on Adam & Gansey’s first meeting as related in Chapter 15 of The Dream Thieves: in which everyone has daddy issues, and Gansey may have found an honest mechanic.

Adam fastened his seatbelt and sank into the passenger seat of Gansey’s car, his mind dizzy in wonder. He was going to miss the start of first period, and it didn’t even scare him.

Adam had spent his first six weeks at Aglionby terrified of walking through a door too late (clearly not allowed), or too early (so pathetically eager), or just as the bell sounded  (surely this would also break some kind of unwritten rule that all the other Aglionby boys had known since birth).  

But this morning, Adam was going to walk into Latin class next to Richard Gansey III, and everything would stop long enough for Gansey to share a bemused and improbably charming apology about the continued misfortunes of his splendid but temperamental 1973 Camaro. Old Flintlock would have heard a version of this story often enough that he wouldn’t bother with the  sardonic suggestion that Mr. Gansey consider a less aesthetically pleasing but more consistently functional mode of transportation before gesturing for him to sit and continue with the class. 

Only this time, Adam would be part of the story, 

Adam Parrish who had graciously endangered his own punctuality in order to help a fellow student in need. Adam, in a plot twist, not only transferring in from public school to dominate these lifelong prep school kids in Latin exercises, but proving to have a gifted hand for fixing a classic car. For all this, Adam would have Aglionby’s Most Likely to Succeed vouching for his skill, his helpfulness, his social value-- or, no, face it.  Gansey’s proper title was Aglionby’s Reasonably Unlikely To Fuck Up the Foregone Conclusion of Success He Was Granted at Birth as soon as that Roman numeral attached to his name.  

If that was all true, though. . .

Why did the Gansey who was easing the Camaro back onto Henrietta’s main road look so sheepish? "My dad,” he said to Adam, “didn't want me to buy this car. According to him, you can have a car like this if it's your hobby. And in his opinion I already have a hobby.”

“Right. Yes. The -- archaeology thing?” Adam had only the vaguest idea of what Gansey’s unusual extracurriculars consisted of, but they felt like a much safer topic than fathers.  Aglionby boys always wanted to talk about their dads -- angrily or reverently, it hardly seemed to matter. 

This was a tradition in which Adam Parrish never intended to participate.

Gansey gave a wan smile. "Something like that." He hesitated as though he might say more, then decided not just yet. "He made me promise if I did buy it, that I would find an honest mechanic. Which I clearly should have done already, but I haven’t because I don’t know where to start." This didn’t sound like a question, but it felt like an opening Gansey was giving him.

“It’s tricky,:  Adam wondered how honest Gansey really wanted his mechanic to be but then he thought, what the hell. He had spent enough time observing Aglionby’s conversational minefields, with all their zigzag maneuvers between decorum and insult. No time like the present to put his foot out and hope for steady earth. “If I were any mechanic here in the Valley and you came in with that car, and that --” Adam almost said that face but he switched it up at the last second, gesturing at the Aglionby sweater Gansey had put back on to cover his slightly greasy shirt “-- that outfit.  I don’t know if I could resist the urge to cheat you.”

Gansey’s smile widened. “Tough but fair!”

Adam let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. Then, maybe because Gansey had accepted the barb, or maybe because he was always going to do it, Adam reached for his wallet and wriggled out one of 3 or 4 battered cards. Boyd had given these to him, with the admonition that if he was going to waste time and money at that fancy school, he’d better take the chance to drum up some business. Until just now, Adam thought he would have faced down a firing squad rather than admit to any of his classmates that he worked as a mechanic. But Gansey seemed so impressed by his competence; Adam swelled with the weird pride of being able to teach this untouchable princeling something that mattered to him.  

“Look,” Adam flashed the card at Gansey, and then he slid it under  a clip attached to the passenger sun visor. “That’s the card for Boyd’s Automotive. I’m not saying they’re especially honest, but if you come by Saturday between three in the afternoon and close of business which is  . .whenever, really.  I’ll be there, and you can get a full tune up and diagnostic, so things don’t keep breaking one at a time. Plus I can make sure they don’t rob you blind.”  

“Boyd’s Automotive,” Gansey repeated, something not quite adding up. “Is that where you hang out for fun?”

Adam had laid this out clearly, he thought, but Gansey was going to make him explain it in small words. “It’s where I work. For money.”

“Oh, shit,” Gansey shook his head. “Sorry I wasn’t -- listen, can I pay you? For the lesson this morning, I mean.”

“Please don’t. That was a good deed, though -- I’ll tell Boyd it was viral marketing. That should really impress him.”

“An elaborate plan to bring in business?” Gansey took one hand off the wheel to slap the dashboard. “Glad the Pig here and I could cooperate.” He sounded relaxed again, so it came out very casual when he said, “At least let me buy you dinner. I’m supposed to go to Nino’s with Ronan tonight but no one’s seen him for two days, so that’s probably off but I’m stuck with a craving. . .”

“I can pay for pizza,” Adam answered shortly, although in reality it would cut into his food budget for the week more than he would like. He could at least wrap up leftovers; Nino’s always put out extra breadsticks.

“I’m not suggesting you can’t. But it’s my invitation and I’ll cut you a deal. Whenever, based on the particular expertise I have acquired through years of hard work, I am able to provide you with a service that has useful practical applications -- you can get dinner for me.”  Gansey sighed. “But don’t hold your breath waiting for that to happen. According to my dad.”

 “Okay, but. . .Gansey, everybody at this school has heard the stories. You do have . . .well, your hobby. I have to admit, I’m curious to hear it straight from you.”

“Yeah,” Gansey said. “There is that. What do you know about Welsh kings?”

[ratremusagere]

Little Remus and Virgil

I'm sorry but I just thought of this idea and now I'm soft for this precious being.

Aka

Little Remus (and little Vee)

T/W fighting (brothers),weapons (Ro and Re), uneducated Roman, slightly unsympathetic Roman (gets better),

Remus was feeling something and he knew what it was but he decided to ignore it. Dee was with the others checking on Virgil and making sure he was okay.

He didn't feel like allowing his emotions to run free and he knew the perfect way to suppress his feelings. Physical pain! Now he just needed a victim.

He walked out of his room to see Patton standing in the living room with his back turned to Remus. Patton wasn't particularly paying attention so he knew now was the perfect time to strike.

Remus lifted up his morning star before swinging it down towards Patton's head. Just before it hit Patton's head however it came into rough contact with another blade. Drats!

"Remus! How dare you try and attack Patton while his back is turned! That is no way to behave!" Roman yelled at Remus. "Yeah, too bad you aren't the boss of me!" Remus said, pushing his weapon roughly against Roman's.

They kept shouting stuff at each other knowing what they said held little to no fire. "Well you're a dumb baby! You know that! Your younger than me and dumb making you a dumb baby!" Roman said shoving Remus harshly to the ground.

Remus knew Roman didn't mean it but for some reason that stung a lot. Romans words hurt him and then he got pushed. The mix of everything happening sent Remus into littlespace. He then let out a piercing shriek as tears fell down his cheeks and sobs racked his body.

Virgil, Deceit, and Logan all came rushing down the hallway at the cries of Remus. Deceit picked up Remus and rocked him trying to calm down the child. "Logan you and deceit take care of Remus I'll handle what's going on here."

Logan and Deceit left carrying Remus without any further questions. "What's wrong with you Roman? What did you do to Remus to get him this worked up!" Virgil demanded getting up in Romans face.

"Nothing, nothing I swear! All we did was some sibling fighting and pushing against each other's weapons!" Roman exclaimed.

"Ok Roman, Riddle me this then, what was the last thing you said and did before Remus had a meltdown?" Virgil said, crossing his arms angrily.

"Well uh I called him a dumb baby and then pushed harshly against his weapon which caused him to fall. But you can't blame me as he was in the wrong!" Roman said, trying to get Virgil on his side.

"Roman you doofus! I don't care who was in the wrong. You severely hurt your brother. I don't know if you knew this but he is a little Roman! Of course what you said hurt him!" Virgil said, scolding Roman.

"Eww is that, that one weird kink where you act like a baby! That's disgusting! Anyone like that is disgusting!" Roman said, grossed out.

"No Roman! No it is not! It's not that at all! You talk to Patton about it. He knows" Virgil said, running off to the others.

-To the others-

Virgil ran and collapsed into his momma lo's arms crying. At the moment he was younger than Remus by a year or two. Which also meant he was semi to full non verbal right now.

"Oh, love, what happened?" Logan said wrapping his arms around Virgil. "Ro sayd dat being wittle is disgusting! Also called wemus a dumb baby!" Vee said curling into Logan non verbalness kicking already which only happened so heavily when something bad happened to cause him to go into baby space so quickly.

Before Logan could respond Remus quickly jumped into the conversation. "Vee Vee it otay! I'm otay now an I'm suwe dat RoRo dinin mean it dat way!"

Virgil let out a whine. "Sh sh sh, baby don't worry it'll be okay" Dee said to Virgil.

"Momma Dee, wan juice pease!" Remus asked seemingly more demanding than asking but they couldn't say no to Remus.

"Awso gives Vee paci! He baby an baby need it!" Logan and Deceit laugh at Remus' words , quickly realizing how they'd forgotten that.

"Deceit can you throw Vee's paci to me when you grab Remus's sippy cup?" Logan asked picking Virgil up and moving into the bed with him.

"Sure Logan. Hey Remus, which sippy cup do you want?" Deceit asked pulling one of Virgil's paci's out and throwing it to Logan.

"I wan da octopi!" Remus said enthusiastically. "Of course baby, stay here while I go and get you juice" Deceit said chuckling.

"No! I go wit chu!" Remus cries grabbing onto deceit. "But- ugh fine baby you can come with me"

Virgil let out a whine and grabbed towards Deceit and Remus. "Whelp I think this will be a whole family excursion" Logan said chuckling picking up Virgil so he could carry him.

They all walked into the kitchen and Deceit sat Remus on the counter before grabbing the juice and pouring it into his sippy cup.

Everything seemed perfect but then Roman decided to walk in along with Patton. Virgil let out a whine/whimper hiding his face in Logan's neck.

"Go 'way Roman. You might be mean to me but u can no be mean to Virgie!" Remus said trying to get Roman to leave without being able to get off the counter.

"No, no kiddo. Roman isn't here to insult. Right Roman?" Patton said looking at Roman. "Yeah Patton," Roman said, chuckling awkwardly.

"Listen Remus I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to hurt you and I didn't understand how offensive I was being. I promise I'll never say those things again, okay buddy?"

"Uh huh! I believed chu befowe u even sayd dat. But chu needa says sorry to Vee Vee! You made him sad an smol!" Remus says pointing at Vee before reaching out to Deceit to get his sippy.

"Oh? Oh. Oh!" Roman suddenly realized that virgil was a little as well and that he caused him to slip. "Vee, bud, I'm sorry for what I said. I now realise how mean I was. I hope you can forgive me?"

Virgil sat there for a second before he let out a soft rumble. "Vee appreciates and accepts your apology." Logan explained for him.

"Haha I'm glad!" Roman said, smiling happily. Vee let out a yawn and curled into Logan. "Seems like someone is sleepy. Isn't that right baby?" Logan asked Virgil. "Yesh" Vee whispered quietly.

"Well I'm gonna go put Vee down for a nap. Remus you wanna come with me and Virgil?" Logan asked Remus. "Yeah I go wit chu guys!" Remus said carefully, getting off the counter.

Deceit looked toward them lovingly as they walked out of the kitchen to their room. "Listen Roman never pull a stunt like today again, okay?" Deceit said using his scary voice.

"O-okay" Roman responded nervously. Deceit smiled in mock happiness. "Good" Deceit said condescendingly before heading to see his boys smiling for real.

[latestageyouth]

When you walk away (Nothing more to say)

chapter 11 - Knock Knock Get The Door It’s Depression

trigger warnings: cussing, coffee, a quick mentions of death, mentions of running away from home, mentions of injury (pieces of glass in a hand), some negative self talk, please let me know if i forgot something

summary: Remus finally decides to do something right...kinda

author’s note: Sorry it took so long the planets just weren't aligned right. No, but seriously, I'm really sorry haha, shit was just going on in my life and I got really stressed. Hope people haven't forgotten about this yet :|

Remus knocked on the wooden door again, frustration apparent in the sharp, loud pattern. C'mon answer. He knocked again, his knuckled started to ache. C'mon. C'mon. Come on.

The door opened, revealing a tired man who was clearly perplexed by the sudden visit, partly because he just woke up "Rem? Dude, it's, like..." Nate trailed off and looked at the clock on the wall, "Shit, it's gonna be midnight. What the hell happened to you, kid?"

Remus looked at Nate's baffled face, the concern apparent on his features enough for both of them. He rolled his tired eyes, still slightly puffy from the tears "It's whatever. Will you let me in or not?"

Nate was...unsettled, to say at least. He didn't care what Remus did, for the most part, it's not like he was a big part of his life, but this...this doesn't feel good. Remus wasn't joking now, which meant something seriously bad has happened. Nate learned that the hard way. Besides, Remus' attempts at running away stopped long ago, so it wasn't that, which...actually made it worse now that he thought about it. Nate stepped out of the door frame, a few raindrops falling onto the floor as Remus made his way inside.

The house was significantly warmer than outside, Remus noticed. Still cold, though, maybe that was because he spent an hour or two wandering outside in rain, his clothes felt heavy, probably everything including him was soaked with water. He could hear Nate walk up to him even though the violent beating of the rain, "So, I am assuming you're not here for a slumber party," the older man looked him up and down, making a mental note to ask about Remus' clenched fist later.

Remus scoffed, "Yeah, no shit."

Nate furrowed his eyebrows...no joke? He's not even trying to be sarcastic? Something...someone seriously messed up. He walked over to the kitchen, turning the kettle on, they will both need something to drink, "You want some coffee? Y'know, since otherwise you're probably gonna freeze to death," he tried to lighten the mood, Nate never did that, he was the cool guy, Remus always clowned around. He even made a morbid joke, hoping to at least hear Remus chuckle. Not even a proper response came back, just a hum of what Nate assumed was agreement. He took a jar of coffee from the cupboard. Remus was surprisingly quiet...too quiet. He was never good with serious stuff, no matter how much he tried to be, he thought Remus knew that. Hoped, Remus knew that.

He glanced into the living room where Remus was seated on the couch, a wet spot from all the dripping water forming around him, some from his hair even fell to the ground as he ducked his head further down, "What happened, dude? Was it Elise again?"

Remus tilted his head back, "No," he said with a groan, "You know she died when I was like fifteen," he looked at Nate, "Right?" Nate was never the type to pay attention but damn it, even he should remember that.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, you know how I am with memory."

Remus hummed in response. The same monotone tone he was humming in all the times before. Nate really didn't want to nag Remus about it for the fear of only making whatever was happening worse. Still, he needed to know what was wrong, otherwise he couldn't help him "You still didn't answer my question," Remus looked at him with a sour look on his face, Nate doesn't think he saw that ever since...shivers shot down his spine as he shook his head, that was a long time ago, Nate was reaching, "What happened?" he pressed on, a little uncertain if that was a right thing to do. For fuck's sake, didn't his school have a counselor or something?

Remus looked away, eyes overflowing of doubt. Nate sighed and poured the finished coffee into two mugs. A little spilled on the ground as he made his way to the couch to sit with Remus, though both of them paid no mind to it.

"Have you ever..." Remus started and didn't finish, as if he swallowed his tongue. Nate was sure Remus could come up with a more creative and gross metaphor if he wasn't a shivering cold mess, which Remus never was, until, well, now. Nate started at Remus, finally putting his acting skills to use and making himself look serious and worried. Not that he wasn't, but his default face was more of a resting-bitch face, as Remus always put it. He never was good at expressing himself.

"Did you ever...fuck up? Like, big time? Something that you couldn't fix?" Remus's voice cracked a little bit at the end. He tried to scratch his arms but his overly-bitten nails didn't allow it. Nate made another mental note to ask about that, maybe talk to Natalie about this, suggest getting the kid a therapist.

"I mean, duh. All people fuck up sometimes" he took a sip of his coffee, unsure of what to say. It was painfully obvious he was trying to play it cool while having to idea what to do.

Remus tsked as his body jolted from the cold, then continued, "No, I mean like," he hesitated for a second and thought over the words racing around his mind, "Majorly fuck up. L-like, something really important."

Nate honestly didn't know how to respond to that, but he tried, for once in his life, "Yeah, of course. Everyone has things that they regret, there's no shame in that."

No response. Nate waited a bit longer, hoping the silence would urge Remus to speak up, before sighing heavily - finally something he was good at - and pushing the now lukewarm coffee towards Remus, "C'mon, drink, it'll warm you up."

Remus didn't drink the coffee, instead talking again, which was a relief but it did nothing to ease the knots in Nate's chest, "Let's pretend you fucked up with a really important person. And ruined years of building a friendship. Do you...do you think there would be a chance to save something?"

"Huh, I never really..." he hesitated, "Fucked up that much with a person, I don't..." Nate put down his cup with a huff, trying a more assertive approach, "Look, Rem, you're like 14-"

"17."

"Doesn't matter. Listen. If the friend that you're talking about really is your friend, they will forgive you, people have arguments all the time."

"It wasn't an argument," Remus rolled his eyes, "It's my fault that this happened anyways, and even though I've known him for so long it feels like I don't know him at all and it's weird and I want things to go back to the way they used to be," his vision got blurry, but he didn't let himself cry, he had enough of that. He wasn't sure if the uncomfortable tightness in his chest was from the melancholy heartbreak or the fact that he was running out of breath.

Nate took a sip of his coffee again, it was apparent by now that this was a nervous gesture, but it shouldn't be, he should be confident and reassure Remus, but hell, this was a new level of teenage drama. He took a deep breath, "Sometimes things can't go back. Sometimes it's for the worse, sometimes for the best, but right now you can only focus on what will be and if you'll let this one thing break you."

Once again, uncomfortable silence filled the room. But not for Remus. He felt better, knowing that he wasn't bottling it up inside anymore. At least not all of it. He reached for the surely cold coffee.

A piercing pain surged through him, still clinging in his hand even as the mind-numbing, quick sensation came to an end. Fuck. He forgot. How could he forget? Stupid. Stupid Remus.

"Woah there, the hell is that?" Nate reached towards his arm as soon as he could process what was happening, at which Remus promptly moved further away from him and stood up, backing away from the couch slightly. Nate hesitated, "Remus," a troubled tone sounded the room, "Show me your hand, Remus."

Reluctantly, almost like half of him protested, he did. What good was it gonna do keeping it from him anyway? Nate knotted his eyebrows, "Oh, you clumsy idiot," he huffed at the sight of the tiny pieces of glass scattered around inside the palm, "I am not a fucking doctor, why didn't you just go- y'know what? Fine, stay here, I'll bring the first aid kit, it's gotta be here somewhere..." he walked down the hallway to what Remus assumed was his bedroom, not that he was familiar with Nate's house. And Remus was left in silence once again. Left to wonder how exactly he found himself here, and why he found himself here? Remus found himself thinking about the butterfly effect, that one small misstep on his side which caused his life to change in an instant.

It wan not often that Remus thought about his future, but the heartwrenching scenarios that could - and will, Remus was certain - happen couldn't help but slowly creep their way into his head, slowly eating him up from the inside like maggots, Remus could practically feel the dopamine and serotonin leaving his body, leaving an empty shell of the jokester he once was. Maybe he was exaggerating, Dee always told him he was a drama queen, so did Roman. It hurt to even think those names, has Remus really become that sensitive?

The tiny drops of rain drummed against the window as Remus heard a distant, quiet rumble of thunder. Huh, he's probably gonna stay here overnight, he wasn't sure Nate would even let him leave, considering what state he came to him in. Speaking of Nate...

Remus got up, looking at the wet spot left behind him on the couch before he walked further into the house, his ears picking up on a hushed tone behind one of the doors.  He carefully put his ear to it, trying to pick up on the sentences being spoken.

"Yeah, he's here, no need to worry."

Remus' breath hitched in this throat.

He barely heard Nate sigh, "Natalie, it's past midnight, just let him sleep here."

Oh, was it really that late? Remus didn't notice...

"Yeah, yeah, I will, don't worry, g'night," Remus presumed that Nate hung up, because the next thing that came out of his mouth was, "Worrywart bitch..."

Remus knew he and ma weren't on good terms, the reason was there, so that wasn't much of a surprise. Still kind of angered Remus. He could hear footsteps coming closer, and stepped away from the door as it opened.

"Oh, Rem," Nate startled.

Remus groaned, "You took too long, I was tempted to just pull the glass out myself," he added a playful tone to the end to make Nate less worried.

Nate scoffed and walked back to the small living room where Remus followed him, "Yeah, like I'd let you do that."

Remus wanted to complain but shut his mouth instead, sitting back down onto the couch. He silently wondered...what was everyone doing right now. How they were...

He was getting sentimental.

[anundine]

Greater Unified Wheel of Stars Theory

I've been working my way through the Wheel of Time, and I can't help but notice some....overlap. This has prompted the creation of my Greater Unified Wheel of Stars Theory, wherein the world of Wheel of Time is in fact Tython and the White Tower is the precursor to the Temple. Evidence is as follows:

Aes Sedai are the precursors of the Jedi.

In legends, the very oldest version of the Jedi are called Je'daii. Aes Sedai -> Sedai -> Je'daii -> Jedi.

The Je'daii originated on the planet Tython. Thus, if Je'daii were previously Sedai, then it follows that the world they were from is the same world that the events of the books took place on, separated by many thousands of years.

The structure and functions of the White Tower and the Coruscant Temple are startlingly similar.

Both take in applicants when young, and there is a cut-off date for being considered "too old."

Note: in Legends, this cut-off for the Temple is at 13; as of the Clone Wars and other new material, it is unclear if that is still canon. Within the confines of this particular theory, I am operating under the assumption that there is a cut-off point, but it is much later that 13, and that with the advent of the Clone Wars specifically, the cut-off was pushed back even further.

Both focus on emotional control-- Sedai are expected to maintain a blank expression at all times, no matter what is going on; by the time of the Temple, this has evolved into maintaining internal equilibrium at all times as well.

The flame and the void is the precursor mantra to releasing one's emotions into the Force.

It is generally accepted that the loyalty of members of both groups is to be solely to the Tower or the Temple, respectively, regardless of where or to whom they were born. You are a Sedai or Jedi first and a member of your birth government a distant second, if you maintain that tie at all.

Both orders create and maintain mental bonds with people-- Sedai with their Warders, and Jedi with their Padawans, for many of the same reasons. The former evolving into the latter is not an unreasonable stretch.

Sedai and Jedi serve similar functions within their respective societies. Both orders are heavily trained as diplomats and political advisors, and the primary purpose of many of their members is to act as peace keepers and councilors. However, this is not the sole focus of either order, and both orders are equally notable for their historians and wandering do-gooders.

Both orders are also viewed with similar levels of suspicion by wider society, much of that stemming from their general inscrutability and from the fact that the most visible of them participate in politics.

The One Power=The Force

Both are universal magic that exists in all things and causes things to happen. "It is as the Force wills it" and "The wheel winds as the wheel wills" are both commonly used phrases in their respective times.

Functionally, there is little difference between being ta'veren and being strong with or beloved of the Force.

Both of these are in-universe acknowledgements of Main Character Syndrome.

The Force is split into the Dark Side and the Light Side. Use of the Dark Side drives the user mad and turns them into power-hungry, destructive forces of evil. However, in the distant past, in Legends, there are Force users who use the Dark Side without loosing their shit, as evidenced by the Je'daii Order, who valued balance, before there was a civil war and it all went to hell. The One Power is split into Saidar and Saidin. Use of Saidin drives the user mad and turns them into power-hungry, destructive forces of evil. However, in the distant past, there were Saidin users who didn't go nuts, before the Dark One cursed Saidin with the taint and it all went to hell.

Basically every single male Jedi has made terrible, terrible life choices, a fair number of which could be explained by being driven mad by the Force. Obi-wan's and Luke's respective mental shutdowns and time as depressed hermits? A manifestation of the taint. Mace deciding to attack the Chancellor in the Senate, before figuring out how to deal with the inevitable political fallout of killing the head of the government? Taint clouding his mind. Anakin's...everything? Taint.

Since the Force is tainted, using it is corrosive-- the more you use it, the more fucked up you get, and faster. That's why the Jedi have that rule about no excessive use of the Force. It's not because they're boring monks with weird ideas about laziness, it's because if you use the power to float pears across the room it eats away at your mind and it's just not worth it.

At least one Sedai uses a mind trick on screen, to make a woman more susceptible to obeying her wishes.

Sedai have been shown to have "swords of light", including Moiraine Sedai manifesting two blades from her staff. These swords are like fire, but not affected by wind or movement, instead remaining perfectly straight, and are created through the use of the One Power.

This dovetails neatly into the idea that only a Jedi can wield a lightsaber; it's not that only Force users have the requisite reflexes, it's that there's no power source in lightsabers-- the beam is pure Force, and if you don't have the Force, you can't turn it on.

Kyber focuses and amplifies 'saber beams, but does not create them, much like a sangreal focuses and amplifies channeling, but does not produce power on its own.

The Wheel of Time is literally about history rhyming with itself, endlessly, particularly with regards to great big showdowns of good vs. evil with deeply powerful chosen ones in the center of it all.

Anakin is the Dragon (very powerful magic user, hero of a great war at the end of an age, driven mad by the exact same power, deeply involved in facilitating the fall of said age, strongly affected by Main Character Syndrome).

Luke is the Dragon Reborn (very powerful magic user, deeply affected by the shadow of the last guy, much of his story is fixing the things the last guy broke, just as much if not more of a Main Character, farm boy origins.)

In conclusion, both of these universes are actually the same universe, many turns of the wheel later. All the similarities between the two story cycles is actually because of big mythic universal truth reasons, and not because both authors probably drank too much Joseph Campbell juice. Thank you for coming to this lecture, and don't forget we have a quiz on Monday.

[mossdeemo]

6 Dads — Chapter 3

I totally forgot to post 3 and 4 here dudes—

I might stop putting them here and just have them on AO3— these are long and I don’t have a computer— I’m So Sorry if you have to scroll past it 😂😂

Links to other chapter and AO3 link in my “6 dads” tag

@pricklyfish777 @mostlikelytokillyouwithaspoon

It took almost no time at all for Thomas to begin seeing these five men. Was it sudden and a little overwhelming? Yes. Was it worth it? So far, definitely.

It began with a simple coffee date with Remy, who insisted that he needed to see him again. To get to know him better, and to apologize for drunkenly fawning over him.

Then it escalated to more dates with Remy, and then dates with Remy and his boyfriends, and it wasn’t until the fifth date that he realized that he now had five boyfriends.

Thomas had told Logan that he was dating Remy, he didn’t ever keep things from his son. Though he wasn't sure how to explain the other 4 boyfriends he had acquired.

But Thomas was bad at keeping secrets, and he was desperate to talk to someone about this. He really really liked his partners.

As always, Logan assisted his father with making breakfast in the morning. He cut up fruit and set the table while Thomas cooked at the stove, soft music playing from the speakers in the living room.

Thomas started putting their food onto plates. One small plate for the fruit, and a larger one for the ham, toast, and boiled egg.

They both sat at the table together, and Thomas couldn’t help but fidget. He was starting to wonder if telling Logan over breakfast was a bad idea. What if he choked? Or got mad and left without eating? Thomas took a long sip of his juice.

Thomas sat and picked at his food, staring at Logan and hoping he didn’t notice and get creeped out. He didn’t.

Eventually he cleared his throat, sitting up a little more. “Hey, Logan? Could I talk to you for a second?”

Logan took a second to put his fork down and wipe his mouth before looking up at his father. “Yes?”

“You know that I’ve been dating my boyfriend Remy for a few weeks now.”

“Yes.”

“Well, you see, Remy was already 4 other men when I met him.”

Logan blinked. “Ah. You were a… side hoe?”

“Wha-What? Where— no! No, I wasn’t… I knew about it, it’s nothing like that. I met them at the same time that I met Remy. They’re all very nice people. And, um, I’m also dating them now. Like, all five of us are dating each other. Does that make sense to you?”

Logan leaned forward slightly. He began tapping his foot, leaning back slightly. “Hm, I… not really. Will you allow me to do research and get back to you?”

Thomas hesitated, but Logan was already pulling out his phone. He sat there in almost complete silence, other than the music playing in the other room. He picks at his food a bit, as Logan scrolled through an article, mouthing words to himself occasionally. Then he looked back up.

“Alright, father. I now have a more extensive understanding on the subject of polyamouras relationships.”

“O-Oh? So… you understand.”

“Not entirely, but I’m sure you won’t mind answering a few questions?”

“No, of course not, Logan..” Thomas smiled.

“What are their names?”

“There’s Remy, Roman, Dee, Emile, And Remus.”

Logan frowned, tilting for a second. He started to pick at his food again as he thought. “..Will I get to meet them?”

Thomas grinned. “Of course! You’ll love them, Logan. I just know it.”

“Do you love them?” Logan asked, tilting his head slightly.

“Yes, of course, very much. But-But that doesn’t change anything with us. I’ll always love you so so much, Logan..”

Logan nodded, staring down at the table. “Okay. But you’ve only known them for three weeks. You’ve known me for fourteen years.”

“And I’ve loved you since the moment we met.” Thomas chuckled, shaking his head. “Love is weird, Logan. It’s.. really difficult to understand. But they make me very happy.”

“Okay.” Logan whispered, then went back to eating his food. Thomas hesitated, not sure whether or not the conversation was over.

“O-Okay! Thank you for listening, Logan. I appreciate it.” Thomas took a slow breath in through his nose, allowing himself to relax. He shouldn’t have worried so much; things went fine! Logan was much calmer than Thomas thought he would be.

After breakfast, Thomas texted his boyfriends through the group chat, asking when a good time to bring Logan over would be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite what he told Thomas— Logan was not looking forward to meeting his father’s partners.

You didn’t have to know Logan for very long to realize he wasn’t exactly as “people person”. So having to go and be friendly with 8 strangers to make his father happy wasn’t something he was looking forward to.

Logan couldn’t be exactly sure how he felt about it— but knew that the tightness in his chest and constant need to fidget could be symptoms of nervousness or anxiety or stress— or maybe he had pneumonia. Though, that last one was unlikely.

Logan sat in a chair near the front door, waiting for his father to finish getting ready. Thomas has been fluttering around all morning, telling Logan how nervous and excited he was. It wasn’t very clear why his dad was nervous though— what did he think was going to happen? Thinking about that made Logan’s stomach turn, so he tried not to, tapping his feet and reading the small book he was taking with him.

Thomas walked up to where Logan was, opening the closet doors to get his coat and shoes. “Are you ready to go, buddy? Roman is picking us up— he’ll be here any second.”

Logan nodded, standing up, holding his book tight in his arms. “I-I would say so.”

Thomas stopped what he was doing to look at him. He turned, putting a hand on Logan’s shoulder, making him pull back slightly.

“Ah- sorry.” Thomas put his hands up. “Logan, buddy, it’s okay to be scared. Heck, I’m scared. I really hope that you guys get along. But no matter what happens, it’ll be okay, I promise. If you feel uncomfortable and want to leave— just tell me. Or text me, if it’s easier.”

Logan gave his father a small smile and a nod. “Father, do you—“

Logan jumped as someone knocked on the door behind him, turning to see a man grinning and waving at them through the glass.

Thomas laughed, putting a hand on his chest and going over to open the door. “Roman, you jerk, you scared us.”

“Did I? My apologies.” He grinned, then looked over at Logan. “You must be Tommy’s little boy. Hello, Logan.”

“Ah, yes, hello.” Logan gave a polite nod, taking a small step back from Roman. His voice was really loud, he felt like he was being yelled at.

Roman glanced at Thomas, stepping backwards back out of the house. Was that too much? Thomas has told him and Remus beforehand that Logan was a little different— just so the poor kid wasn’t overwhelmed. Roman was gonna try his best to tone himself down, but that was easier said than done.

Roman took Thomas by the arm, leading both of them to his car. Logan sat down in the back seat, behind his father, glancing over at the seat next to him. A young boy was sitting in a car seat, drinking juice out of a sippy cup.

Patton’s face lit up when he saw Logan enter the car. He stared at Logan, his mouth hanging open, while Logan stared right back at him. Then Patton laughed, waving his hands and dropping his cup onto the seat between them.

Roman glanced back at them as he and Thomas got in the car, grinning. “Logan, this is Patton! Patton, wanna say hi to Logan?”

Patton rocked his head back and forth, the bright blue glasses on his face wiggling slightly. “Mmm, hi! Gimme!” He reached for his cup, sticking his tongue out. He stretched down a bit, but his stubby little arms couldn’t quite reach his juice.

Logan hesitated before giving the bottle back to the small child. It was a little bit sticky, as he had anticipated, and Logan cursed himself for not taking any wipes with him. But Patton seemed happy, kicking his legs and tilting his head back as he drank his juice. Logan tilted his head back, watching as they pulled out of the driveway.

Roman turned up the radio once they started driving. It was on some channel that played broadway music. Nothing Logan was interested in, but he was grateful for the background noise. Patton grinned and set his juice down in his lap, bobbing his head and moving his arms around. He blabbered along to the song, saying nonsense words and making Roman and Thomas laugh.

Patton laughed when they laughed, bouncing in his seat. “Papa, is—ummm.. is chocolate?”

“Yes, honey! It’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. God job!” Roman grinned, putting a hand on Thomas’ arm as they both giggled.

Patton continued to move along to the music, now staring out the window. He lifted his head up as high as he could so he could see more, huffing. “Mm, where we goin?”

“To Dee’s house, pancake. We’re going to go and see everyone. Remus, Virge, Remy…”

Patton grinned and banged a hand on the car door.

“Are you excited?”

“Yep! I wan- I wanna play with sissy!”

Roman gasped softly, making a choked noise like he was gonna start crying. “O-Okay, honey. That sounds lovely.”

By the time reached Dee and Emile’s house, Patton was restless and couldn’t sit still. He kept swinging his feet (saying “sorry!” whenever he accidently kicked Roman’s seat), and tossing his now empty sippy cup into the air and catching it.

Logan didn’t hate kids, but he didn’t like being around them, especially not in an enclosed space like this. But he managed to survive this toddler singing Broadway tunes, which was something of a success.

They all got out of the car, Roman helping Patton unbuckle and then carrying him the rest of the way to the house.

Logan shifted, staying behind his father as he walked. He ran his thumb over the spine of his book, taking a slow breath.

They all headed inside, Roman loudly announcing their arrival, taking a look around. The 4 adults were all sitting in the living room, and Logan followed his father and Roman towards them.

Basic introductions weren’t so difficult. He said hello, they said hello, they weren’t too touchy. Emile was the friendliest, Remus was already drinking and seemed fairly tired, Dee was chill, and Remy was.. Remy.

Logan wasn’t the best at reading social cues, but he could tell they were all a little off, and it was making him kind of uncomfortable. He just couldn’t put his finger on it though. They were treating him odd, and he wasn’t sure why. So when Emile offered to take him up to meet Virge and Dice, he agreed immediately.

Emile led Logan and Patton upstairs, stopping in the middle of the hallway and turning back. “Are you doing okay, Lo? If you need anything, you can just ask me, okay?” He smiled, giving him a soft pat on the arm. Patton ran past the both of them, opening a closed door and running into the room.

“Yes, I’m.. I’m fine.” Logan nodded, turning over the book in his hands several times. “Why?”

Emile lowered his voice. “You just seem a little nervous. You could sit by yourself for a little while if you’d like? You could into my room and take a little breather.”

“Thank you for the offer, but it will not be necessary.”

“O-Okay, Lo. The offer is there if you need it. Have fun, okay?” He smiled and gave a small wave, before heading back downstairs.

Logan watched him go for a few seconds, biting his lip. Then he turned back, going over and looking into the room that Patton has gone into.

Virge sat in a bean bag chair, leaning back against her bed with Patton on her lap. Dice was nearby, crossed legged on the carpet. There were a few discarded wrappers and water bottles on the floor, along with a guitar and some scribblers.

They both looked up when Logan entered the room, then glanced at each other.

It’s not as if they’d never seen each other before. Logan was not a high school student, so they went to school together. And they had gone to the same middle school. Logan wasn’t sure about elementary, though.

Logan didn’t have many friends at school, and these two were a part of the overwhelming majority that chose to avoid him. He had only been in the school for a few months now, but it didn’t take very long for people to figure out that you’re a total weirdo.

But Logan didn’t mind that. He didn’t bother seeking out friendships on his own, because it was just a waste of time. He knew that having friendships would be overall beneficial, but what was the point when it’s likely temporary, and was very likely to cause him emotional distress?

Logan didn’t have friends. Not because he couldn’t handle them, or because he didn’t know how to make friends. No. Because he just didn’t see a point.

Dice was the first of them to speak up. “You gonna sit down, or stare at us from the doorway?”

Logan froze for a few seconds, watching as Virge rolled her eyes and nudged Dice with her foot. “Chill, dude. Hey Logan. Have a seat.”

He relaxed, if only slightly, at that. Logan stepped into the room, pushing the door half shut behind him. He glanced around once more, before settling down in a bean bag chair a few feet away from Virge.

“So, Thomas is your dad? He’s pretty cool..” Virge said, brushing the hair out of Patton’s eyes. “Like, I’ve only met him a couple of times, but.” She shrugged, looking over at him.

Logan slowly nodded, staring back at her. He wasn’t sure what he was meant to respond with.

Virge stared at him for a few more seconds, before turning her attention back to Patton. She attempted to ask a few more questions— but they didn’t get her very far. Logan was having a difficult time forming words and thoughts. He shifted in his seat, running his thumb over the pages of his book. He felt restless, and wished he was alone.

When they were finally called down for dinner, Logan felt relieved for a moment. But only for a moment.

The realization that he was going to have to sit down at a table with 9 other people scared Logan. He didn’t quite understand that, but knew that this would not be a fun experience. But he went through with it anyway.

Logan made his way into the dining room, sitting down at the table. Dee and Emile’s dinner table wasn’t big enough for all 10 of them, so there was technically two tables pushed together. Roman and Virge were on either side of Logan, and his father sat directly across from him.

Logan twirled his fork around in his fingers, glancing around the table. He wasn’t focused on the food in front of him. He didn’t even look at it long enough to take in what it was. Logan was focused on the people around him. Virge was talking to Dice and feeding Patton, Dice was eating, Emile was laughing at a joke Remus was telling, Dee had an arm around Emile, Roman and his father were talking. They were really loud. Logan wasn’t hungry. His stomach twisted in knots, and he felt sick.

Logan felt his lip quiver, and tears welling in his eyes. Then, panic, as he realized that he was about to start crying. He swallowed hard, stabbing into something on his plate with the fork gripped in his hand. He shoved in his mouth, but couldn’t chew. That’s when the dam broke.

Everyone at the table turned to look at Logan as he began sobbing. He dropped the fork in his hand, moving his fingers up and into his hair. He squeezed his eyes shut, rough gasps escaping his throat as rushed down his cheeks. No, no, no!

He heard voices but, but not words. He opened his mouth, spitting whatever was inside back onto his plate.

Roman was the first to try and touch him, placing a hand on his arm. That only worsened things. Logan jerked backwards, falling out of his chair. He was now lying on the ground, sobbing and yelling with his arms wrapped around his head.

Thomas was next to him in seconds, doing what he could. He gestured for Roman, who looked like he was about to cry, to get everyone else away. Which didn’t look like it was gonna be easy.

Remy had freaked out, not knowing what the fuck was going on. He just heard screaming. Patton was also screaming and freaking out now, and Virge was trying to comfort him, while looking like she was about to start panicking as sell. Dice had already bolted from the room.

Thomas glanced over at the others as they headed out of the living room. Except for Emile, who approached Thomas, asking if he could do anything to help. Thomas wasn’t really sure. His heart was racing and he could barely focus on Emile as his son was crying and curled up in a ball on the floor.

Thomas didn’t say anything as Emile carefully kneeled down nearby, putting a hand on Thomas’s back.

“Logan, honey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” Thomas whispered to him, unsure whenever he should touch him.

Logan shook his head, trying to look up at his father through the tears in his eyes. He slowly managed to sit up, feeling embarrassed of himself. It was difficult to form a cohesive thought, but he still managed to scold himself internally for this childish behaviour. Logan reached out to touch his dad’s hand, grabbing hold of it and squeezing his eyes shut once again.

Thomas moved closer to Logan, putting his other hand on top of Logan’s. “Can you tell me what happened, Lo? What happened? Are you hurt?”

Logan looked up at him, swallowing as he tried to take a few deep breaths. He wanted to calm down, it was just hard to get his body to cooperate.

“I-I’m.. okay, father.” Logan managed to get out, his voice shaky. He wiped his eyes, and Emile reached over and gave him a handful of tissues. Logan could still hear Patton crying from a room above them, biting his lip and pressing his hands over his ears.

Emile watched Logan, biting down on his lip. “Honey, do you… would you be more comfortable if I left? I don’t want to intrude.”

Logan shook his head slightly, wiping his eyes with the tissues clenche in his fist. “I’m sorry for—“

“No, there’s no need for that.” Emile smiled, shaking his head. “There is nothing for you to be sorry for, okay?”

Logan frowned, looking down at the floor. “A-Alright.”

“Did Virge or Dice say anything to you? Are you feeling alright? Or were you just… overwhelmed? S-Sorry if I’m overstepping, you don’t have to answer. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Emile said, reaching over and lightly touching Logan’s leg.

Logan bit his lip, nodding slowly. “Alright. I’m just... I’m not entirely sure… I’m not sure what happened.” And he wasn’t, not really. At least, not to this extent. And never publicly. Sometimes he would cry in his room, or in the bathroom at school, but he had never full on freaked out like that. Not that he could remember. “I think you’re right about me being… overwhelmed.”

“Do you know what caused that..?”

Everything. “No.”

“Okay.” Emile smiled, removing his hand and slowly standing up. “Do you like tea, Logan? I’m going to make some.”

“Um, yes, thank you.” Logan whispered, wiping his face once more, before shoving the tissues in his pocket. He felt much calmer now. Not completely, but he was no longer crying. Logan stood up, watching as his father followed suit.

The two of them went over and sat on the couch together. They didn’t have much to say, and Logan wasn’t up for talking much anymore, so Logan just relaxed and allowed his father to play with his hair. There wasn’t much touch that he enjoyed, but that was always something that made Logan happy.

When Emile came back over with the tea, Logan was curled up against an arm rest, fast asleep. Emile smiled, setting his cup down on the table, handing one to Thomas, and sitting down in the recliner with his own.

Emile and Thomas spoke to each other quietly, as not to disturb the sleeping teen. Thomas was pretty shaken up, as he hadn’t seen Logan cry like that since he was a child. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw Logan cry at all. Emile was concerned, but wasn’t pushing too much. He wanted to, but barely knew Logan yet and didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. He would see what comes with time, and made the suggestion to Thomas that Logan could benefit from talking to someone. That’s all he could to.

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Logan awoke in an unfamiliar bed.

He opened his eyes, facing a purple coloured wall, with a heavy bedspread covering him. There was a radio playing from somewhere in the dark room, softly playing “The Girl from Ipanema”.

Logan squinted, realizing that he wasn’t wearing his glasses. He managed to stand up, rubbing his face as he tried to fully wake up. He made his way towards the soft glow of a light switch, almost tripping over something in the middle of the floor. Ugh, what the hell—

Logan switched the light on, and was finally able to see the blurry bedroom, which he now realized belonged to Virgil. With the dull ceiling light, he was now able to find his glasses, phone, and book on her nightstand.

He sat back down on the edge of the bed, checking his phone. No notifications, but it was about 8pm.

Logan hummed, rubbing his face once again. He had a minor headache, which was either caused by the nap, or his crying earlier. Or both.

He heard very muffled voices coming from the living room, which seemed to be right beneath him. But those voices were quickly drowned out by footsteps in the hallway nearby, which seemed to stop outside his room.

Virge knocked against her own door a few times before slowly opening it. She and Dice had just gotten Patton to fall asleep, when Dice had noticed that the light was on, meaning Logan had woken up. She was justifiably, considering what happened.

“Hey, Lo?” Virge looked into the room, making eye contact with Logan. She headed over, sitting next to him on the edge of the bed. Dice walked in too, shutting the door behind him and sitting down in Virge’s desk chair.

Logan shifted slightly, folding his hands together and rubbing a finger over his thumb. “Ah, hello. I apologize for dinner, I have no idea what..”

“What? No, dude, it’s fine. I’m more worried about you.” She put a hand on his back, shaking her head. “We both are, I mean. I know you probably don’t wanna talk to use about it, which is cool. I would be so fucking embarrassed. No, wait, I mean—”

“Virge.” Dice shook his head, looking at Logan. “We’re sorry if we made today extra shitty for you. I wouldn’t want to have to hang around our fucked up family either. You freaked the fuck out and worried everyone, and we really don’t want that to happen again, for everyone’s sake.”

“He’s including you in the ‘everyone’.” Virge clarified, and Dice nodded.

Again, Logan has to appreciate Dice’s honesty. It was… comforting.

“Thank you for your concern, but I’m fine. Is my father still here?”

“Oh, yeah, they’re all downstairs.” Virge waved her hand. “I can walk you down if you’re ready to go. It’s getting pretty late, I guess.”

Logan got up and grabbed his things, giving her a small nod. He was very tired— and he had to go to school in the morning. Logan didn’t mind school— but right now he wasn’t really looking forward to it. Odd.

Virge and Dice took him downstairs, where all the adults were. None of them were nearly as invasive as Virge had been— they said their goodbyes and told Logan they hoped he was feeling better. Roman looked particularly upset, but Logan couldn’t pinpoint why.

Emile drove Logan and Thomas home, and Logan was silent for the entire trip. Not because he was uncomfortable— the opposite, actually. Logan liked Emile very much.

Thomas gave Logan some space once they arrived home, but did come to check on him every 20-30 minutes. He told him that he didn’t have to go to school tomorrow if he didn’t want to— but Logan refused. The only times he stayed home is when he was sick— and Logan felt fine now.

Maybe not fine, but better at least.

Thomas checked in on Logan one last time at 11pm, to find him fast asleep. He sighed softly, going over to give him a kiss on the forehead before flicking his light out and stepping out into the hall.

“Sweet dreams, Lo.” He sighed, then carefully shut the bedroom door.

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The next few days were weird.

Logan was used to not having any friends at school— he had been used to it for years. So when Virge, Dice, and a few of the people in their friend group began approaching him more, and inviting him to sit at their lunch table, he was caught off guard.

And even though it was different, he liked that it was different. The small shift in his routine didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. Having friends… it was something Logan could definitely get used to.

Thomas was surprised when Logan approached him one day, asking for a drive to Dee and Emile’s house. They hadn’t talked much about what had happened last time. Thomas had no idea what he was going to do. So, this caught him off guard. He asked why, and Logan adjusted his glasses.

“Virge invited me. She and Dice will be there, it’s only for a few hours. Would that be alright, dad?”

Thomas grinned and nodded. He wouldn’t dream of saying no.

Logan began visiting his friends frequently. They saw each other at school, after school, on weekends. Virge and Dice seemed to like him a lot— which he didn’t fully understand, but tried not to question too much. They were very nice people.

Becoming closer to Dice and Virge slowly lead to Logan seeing much more of his father’s boyfriends, and Patton.

Virge and Dice didn’t seem to want to hang around the adults very often (especially Dice), so it was a gradual change. Emile would often check on the three of them. Sometimes Logan would stay to eat and chat with Dee. Then, when Dice and his father officially moved in with Dee, Emile, and Virge— he began seeing a lot more of Remy.

Roman and Patton also visited fairly often, and would sometimes even visit Logan and Thomas’s house. Logan often ended up spending time with Patton— especially if Virge was around. That little guy loved her.

Remus also spent a whole lot of time at Dee and Emile’s, though he also worked quite a bit, and Logan didn’t see as much of him. But Remus told a lot of interesting stories, and Logan enjoyed listening to him speak.

Logan really liked these people. He knew that for certain. The next family dinner they had was about a month after the last one, and Logan hadn’t been nervous about it. At least, not nearly as nervous as last time. He wore a pair of headphones to block out a lot of the noise, but still tried to pay attention to what his family was saying.

His family. The first time that Logan had called them that, he had caught himself off guard. He hadn’t realized how much he had come to care for these people. Emile’s kindness, Patton’s laugh, Roman’s upbeat and dramatic personality; they were all things Logan had come to love and treasure. He sat at the dinner table, watching as Remus wiped juice from Patton’s chin, and Virge snatched a roll from Dice’s plate when he wasn’t looking. And he smiled.

This was his family. And he loved them so much.

[logical-little-lies]

{Chapter 1- Small Beginnings}//Soft, Cute, and Far Smarter Than You [Sanders Sides Agere/CGLRE]

Here’s the story description+wattpad cover before you read the first chapter!!:

“Patton was spending every second he could learning about Logan.  Little Logan and Big Logan alike, both of them were definitely worth his time.  He's always wanted to be a dad, and playing the role for the little logical side came so easily for him. And the fact that he was slowly falling for Big Logan just made him all the more interested Maybe Logan hadn't been a regressor quite as long as Virgil had, but the coping skill definitely helped him just as much. From being a hyper toddler who just wants to read a children's book about space, to being a fourteen year old that is only interested in Sherlock and Netflix, every second is an adventure with a little who probably has a larger vocabulary than you do. So tag along for adventures, with two littles and two carers. A sibling like bond between the regressors, a secret shared between the sides. Prepare for a wild ride, because this is the beginning of a brand new life. Little Logan, no matter what age he was regressed to, would and always will be Soft, Cute, and Far Smarter Than You.”

--

"Logannnn!"

Logan was very much still asleep with Patton opened his door, waking him up with a sing-songy voice. It was weird, Patton checking on him every single morning. Logan knew it was just him checking if he'd have a baby for the day, or if Logan needed anything. He sat up a bit, rubbing at his eyes before looking up at Patton. His vision was still a bit blurry because he didn't have his glasses on, but he gave a soft wave.

"Still sleepy?" Patton chuckled, coming to the side of the bed and sitting down.

"mhm." was his only response.

"Virgil woke up pretty small today, and I wanted to check if you felt little too." Patton spoke after a few moments, "So...am I making breakfast for a toddler or not?"

Logan giggled at that, immediately covering his mouth with his hand. "Didn't mean that. No, m' big."

"Okay, so I'm guessing you're around five right now?" Patton teased, softly reaching over and tugging on his wrist so that his hand was pulled away from his face. Logan was blushing, looking around for one of his stuffed animals to hug. "Awe, sweetheart. I know being little and cutesy, especially around us is new for you, but you have nothing to be scared of."

"Pwomise?" Logan replied quickly, biting on his lip. Patton gave a soft smile, knowing the boy was regressing fully now.

"Absolutely, baby." he leaned forward, kissing his forehead softly.

This whole thing, Virgil and Logan being toddlers sometimes, it was new. Newer to Patton then it was to Roman, but either way it was an adjustment for everyone. Virgil had been regressing since he left the dark sides at the latest, but he had only told Roman about his littlespace three or so months ago. And the only reason he did so was because he involuntarily regressed while he was there to see.

Logan himself had been regressing knowingly for only a few months, but he had suspicions that he had been regressing much longer, he just didn't know what it was to label it. He thought it was some weird thing, not a completely healthy coping skill that was improving his mental health. So when Virgil slipped up at the dinner table just a few weeks ago and couldn't come up with a cover up, Logan was glad to hear that there was another little in the house.

Logan remembered the rant Patton gave Virgil and Logan, telling them that they shouldn't hide their regression, and now that everyone knew, they could regress whenever they wanted. Virgil came to Logan's room after dinner, and they talked for hours about what was previously a secret.

"I would've never pegged you as a regressor, but I guess it makes sense. You probably have the most stressful work out of all of us. This might be weird, but do you know your age range?"  Logan remembered him asking.

Logan remembered talking throughout the whole night, and ending up somewhat cuddled up in Logan's bed. They didn't regress that night, but they did both wake up small.

That day was no more then two weeks ago, and things were still being settled and figured out. Roman being Virgil's caregiver had already been arranged, but Logan didn't have a caregiver. He insisted that he didn't really need one, the only reason he told everyone was because they reacted well to Virgil and he didn't logically see the point in keeping in a secret when he knew that he'd most likely be accepted. He also knew it would make things easier, if he didn't have to hide and rush off to his room every single time he felt himself slipping.

And though he said that he didn't need a carer, doing things by himself that morning while watching Roman guide and baby Virgil kind of made him sad. That's when Patton stepped in, helping him and giving him affection, he did his best and his best was enough for Logan. So since then, every single morning, Patton would come to his room and ask if he was little. Most of the time, he wasn't, and he'd get a soft hug and a "breakfast will be ready soon". But when he was, like now, Patton would help him get ready for the day.

"Do you want a pacifier today, baby?" Patton asked softly, walking around his room to pull together an outfit. He looked at Logan, who nodded a bit. Patton gave him a soft smile, walking over to his dark blue dresser. He opened the bottom drawer, leaning down to retrieve the small black chest from it. He closed the drawer and came back over to his bed, sitting down next to where Logan was now sitting crisscross-applesauce on his bed.

Logan was now dressed in a blue sweater and a pair of black shortalls, content with the outfit Patton had picked out for him. Patton opened the small chest, turning it towards the boy. "Which one would you like, Little One?"

Logan looked inside the box, at the six different pacifiers. Two were plain solid-colored adult pacifiers (one dark blue, one white), two were modified baby pacifiers, and two were deco pacifiers. "I don know," he pouted, looking between them.

"One of the blue ones would probably match your outfit well?" Patton offered as advice. Logan hesitated, looking between the leftover options.

He picked out one of the decorative ones, it was pastel blue with the phrase 'baby' on the handle in white letter beads. There were different colored gems stuck on it, and the button of the pacifier there was a little heart that was blue and sparkly.

"It's so cute! You're so adorable oh my god-" Patton paused to take a breath, looking at the adorableness that was the little in front of him. He did that a lot, where he'd coo over him while he was supposed to be taking care of him. "Okay I'm sorry, here's a pacifier clip," he dug into the box, pulling out a white pacifier clip to attach his pacifier to his shirt.

"It's kay," Logan giggled at Patton, blushing a bit. He let Patton connect the pacifier to the clip, and then clip it to his overalls. He spat out the pacifier playfully, letting it hang from his shirt.

"Be careful, that one is a decorative one! You'll be sad if something falls off of it!" Patton warned, Logan pouting a bit.

"Noo, don't wan break it!" he squeaked, looking at the pacifier now for any sign of damage.

"It's all okay, Lo. I was just letting you know so that it didn't happen," Patton explained.

"Oh, okay..." Logan slipped the pacifier nipple back into his mouth before adjusting his gasses on his face.

"You ready to go downstairs? I'll let you have fruit and whipped cream for breakfast!" Patton offered. Logan bounced in place excitedly, moving to get off of his bed.

"Don't you want Lilly?" Patton asked, getting off the bed as well but not leaving.

"Oh! Liwwy!" Logan reached for the stuffed elephant in question, squeezing her in his arms. Patton chuckled at his adorable antics, reaching out his hand for him to take. Logan took it softly, letting Patton guide him down the stairs.

--

"Look, it's saturn!" Logan had this habit of switching what age he was regressed to in littlespace. Patton was starting to get used to him waking up really small and then adjusting later. No one was sure why he did it, but it was definitely noticeable. His pacifier hung somewhat-uselessly off of his overalls,and he was sitting next to Patton, reading picture books out loud.

Patton had taken over the very important job of holding Lilly while he read. "Yeah, I see it honey." Logan took this as a signal to continue reading his space book. Patton would act shocked at random facts, making Logan feel like he taught him something (which made him excited), and also point out the pictures in the book. If Logan began to stumble over a word, he'd point at it and Patton would help him sound it out.

Logan and Patton haven't officially talked about the whole caregiver thing, Patton just played the role when needed. Logan was definitely not secretly planning out how he was going to ask Patton to be his caregiver, that was surely not a thing he was considering.

Patton was just so good at helping him slip when he was close, and comforting him about not wanting to be small. "Baby, baby, baby. You're so cute!" Patton was practically squealing now, and he 'booped' Logan's nose softly. "You soft, little, cute thing I can't even-" he squeezed him into a hug. Logan giggled, scrunching his nose and kicking his feet a bit.

Roman chuckled, entering the living room with Virgil trailing behind him shyly. "I did the same thing when I first found out about this baby emo. I was like, so obsessed with how adorable he is," he sat on the couch near Logan and Patton, pulling Virgil onto the couch and setting him on his lap. Virgil was facing towards Roman, and he almost immediately buried his face in his chest.

"And you're not anymore?" Patton sounded as if he was betrayed or something.

"I got used to the adorableness, so I at the very least don't have a heart attack from the cuteness every single time." Roman lightly ran his fingers through Virgil's hair, causing him to hum.

Patton went to say something, but Logan tugged on Patton's hand to get his attention. "What is it, baby?" Patton spoke softly, looking at him in curiousity.

Logan silently pointed at the tv, mumbling something. "What was that, sweetheart?"

Logan whined, taking Lilly from Patton's lap and squeezing her tight. His picture book was abandoned beside him. "'Punzel!" he repeated louder, lifting Lilly up so that he was hiding behind her.

"You mean Rapunzel? You wanna watch Tangled, baby?" Roman translated for Patton. Logan nodded a bit.

"Oh, sure! We can put on Tangled for you!" Patton reached forward, getting the remote from the coffee table and turning on the tv. Roman distracted himself with talking to Virgil in his lap. Once Patton located Disney+ and went to search up the requested movie.

"We can make some lunch while the boys watch this," Roman suggested as Patton went to go play the movie. Virgil lifted his head from Roman's chest with a worried pout. "I'll be in the kitchen baby. If you really need me, I'm not far."

Virgil still pouted, but eased up. Roman kissed his forehead before moving him so that he was just sitting on the couch. Logan kinda went quiet, silently slipping his pacifier into his mouth and leaning back. "Okay, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, sweetheart. I'll watch the movie with you after you two eat, okay?"

Logan gave a soft nod, smiling a bit. Patton gave him a kiss on the forehead, before leaving the boy. Patton hit the light switch on the way out, and the two littles settled in to watch the movie.

This whole family thing, being taken care of and having another little around, it was definitely different.

But it wasn't a bad different. Yeah, Logan was nervous to be openly little, as was Virgil. But, once they got over that nervousness, they'd form a family that would be full of adventures and memories.

And I have one thing to ask.

Will you stick around to see the adventures?

Will you stay and watch these four dorks form new memories?

Because this is definitely going to be a wild ride.

--

A/N: Hi! Welcome to my new story!! this is a quick intro with some exposition tied in there so that you know what's going on! If you have any questions comment them/send them to my inbox (Wattpad/Tumblr). This story will primarily feature Logan in middlespace (13-16), but toddlerspace!Logan (3-5)+kiddo!Logan (6-12) will also be included along the way! Virgil regresses between 6 months-5 years!

If you'd like, send your reactions/thoughts on this chapter to my inbox as well/comment them (again, tumblr vs wattpad). I'm excited to see what people think about this story!

also please reblog to share this if you like it!