#i just saw something that made me actually question my sanity because it was so insanely bad and all the comments were so positive
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demadogs · 1 year ago
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i really wish i had a close friend on here in the byler fandom bc sometimes i see a take SO insane that SO MANY PEOPLE AGREE WITH that i dont even wanna make a public post about it i just really wish i had a mutual to dm and yell about it with
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logan-fields-official · 2 months ago
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Weird request? Idk. But could you please do sbg main 6 x reader. Like they're doing a hear my out cake and the reader puts one of the phantoms🙏🙏😔
Starting with this one because it’s goofy! This is probably gonna be short though or at least shorter then normal.
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SBG Main Six x Reader who’s hear me out is a phantom
Ashlyn:
Yeah you had fun trying to convince Ashlyn to do this. You kept on mentioning it to her and annoying her about it until she ended up saying yes.
That’s how you ended up with a grumpy Ashlyn doing a hear me out cake with you. Ashlyn refused to go first so you did end up going first and placing a phantom down.
She looked back and forth between you and the phantom before she just shook her head and got up. She needed a moment after that or she was just die of laughter.
Aiden:
It was so Aidens idea to play this, but Aiden didn’t want to buy a cake, he wanted to make one. That’s how y’all ended up with flour all over y’all’s faces.
After you and Aiden got your cake ready and your photos printed y’all started recording as Aiden wanted to send it to the others.
Of course Aidens first one was Ashlyn. I mean i think we all expected that. This irritated you just a hint, but you couldn’t deny the fact that Ashlyn was pretty. So in return you put Ben.
Aiden just giggle, but when your turn came around again Aiden was not expecting to see you to go ‘hear me out.. a phantom…  specifically this one…’ (yes it’s the phantom on the pole)
Aiden just stares for a moment and while giggling puts his hear me out down… turns out it was also a phantom. Y’all were laughing while the group was questioning your sanity when they saw the video.
Ben:
100% your idea. Ben decided to play because how bad could it be?… it was bad. Ben thought that y’all were just doing like actors and fictional characters so that’s all he put down.
But when you placed down a phantom.. he paused and stared. Then he gave you a ‘what the actual fuck’ look not like in a mean way just a questioning way.
He picked up his notebook and wrote something in it before showing it to you. ‘I think I’m bringing you to therapy with me next time. This is obviously a cry for help.’
Logan:
Again this was your idea. Logan was probably not into the idea of doing the hear me out cake. Why would he be? You were the first person to actually like him and not use him. He didn’t want to ruin that by playing this game.
In the end you did manage to convence him to play. Y’all probably made a cake because it seems like something he would like to do.
Logan was really shy about this. Not joking with you his hear me out was 100% you every single time. Then you laughed and placed the photo of the phantom. You did this while telling Logan to look at this handsome boy.
At first he immediately felt insecure thinking it was probably Barron. Though he immediately paused and looked shocked when he saw a phantom. He just asked if you were okay and if you needed some mental help.
Taylor:
Taylor would be up to do this with you. In fact it was probably her idea after seeing it online. She immediately brought it up to you and you were sure because what’s the worst that could happen?
Y’all had the cake and Taylor wanted to decorate it before the game so y’all did. Taylor begged you up and down to go first and after a moment you finally agreed.
She thought it was gonna be a good hear me out, but then you placed a photo of a phantom down and went *sigh* “hear me out… there tall and they have a nice smile.”
Taylor gave you an awkward stare before she decided to just nod slightly thinking about whether or not she should ask you about it.
Tyler:
Tyler was so against playing this. He was like why would I like anyone that isn’t you? Though after a while you managed to convince him it would be fun.
Y’all bought a cake and printed your photos. Tyler’s first one was actually Logan. You just started giggling and nodding agreeing that was a good choice.
When you said yours was a phantom and place down a photo of one his jaw dropped. A phantom? He stared at you like you grew two heads. You immediately start explaining yourself, ‘but Tyler… it’s so hot… and they have a nice smile…’
He seriously thought you belonged in mental hospital after that.
Don’t ask why it took me like 2 weeks to write this. I got distracted.
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moirindeclermont · 4 months ago
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Bridgerton folks, thank you for the warm welcoming to my lastest creation!
We were left with poor Past!Colin passed out after seeing him and Pen.
What is going to happen now?
I hope you'll enjoy this one.
--
When Colin come back to reality, he was in a luxurious bed. There was light inside, meaning he certainly could not make it in time for his wedding.
He thought he would be angry or frustrated... Instead he was relieved.
Why was he relieved?
Then, memory of the night started flooding his brain.
Pen and a copy of himself... Groping and kissing on that bench.
He was up in a moment, trying to understand if he just dreamed everything or else.
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He looked around and saw his robe - that didn't pay well for his sanity.
With the robe on, he ventured into the estate. It was cleary the Featherington one, but with a sophisticated touch it never had the few times he was there before.
He could hear Pen's voice, a shiver crossing him as the idea that what he did saw was real.
Arrived at the drawing room, he found a small table, with three plates.
Pen was already there, looking at him with something in her eyes that made his stomach turn.
"Colin! Thank goodness you're awake. I was so worried."
She went to touch his hand, then she seemed to suddenly remember who he was and stopped in her track. He couldn't not notice the wedding ring on her finger.
She was married to his copy?
He sat, overwhelmed.
"Do you know what it is happening?"
The other Colin entered the room in that moment.
"We were waiting for you. I know how it sounds and I know what you're going to do, because I already lived it.
I'm you - as you already figured out - I'm actually you, not a copy. I'm just ten years older andmuch more handsome, " he said, earning a scoff from Pen.
He did not stop, but went near Pen, placing a tender kiss on her head.
"Yes, I'm married to Pen. We've been married nine years now. I'm sure you can do the math..."
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Older Colin sat near him, serving a generous amount of pastries and sweets is his plate. He was glad to see that certain stuff didn't change.
"I know you have questions. We'll go on a small ride soon. For now, rest assured that you'll come back in a week from now, and you'll be just outside Bridgerton house. Ready for your wedding."
"A week? With you two??"
He asked, struggling to believe everything he just listen.
"With us five, in fact. Ten if you conts the servants. The kids are going to be here shortly. Everyone know you are a distant cousin who looks like exactly like me. Just reserve your questions for later."
And a moment after, three little hurricanes arrived.
"You must be Christopher. You look exactly like papa. I'm Agatha!" said a young girl with his eyes and Pen's hair, no older than nine. His heart ached for being called papa, even if it wasn't him.
The two boys were twins and they seemed much shy, they could be no older than four.
"These are Thomas and George," the twins were hiding behind Pen's body.
Pen looked at him again, before taking the twins and the girl and leaving them.
"Papa and Cousin Christopher have to talk," she said, leaving him to face his older self.
He felt suddenly green.
They had a family. Pen and him were a family.
"Take your time. I know it's a lot to digest. When you're ready, come meet me in the stable," leaving him to deal with the news, as if his world didn't suddenly shifted on its axis.
Tbc
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ohwormwood · 10 months ago
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random thoughts i have while playing isat pt. 7
[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]
opened the game and immediately went "im gonna make odile question my sanity!!!" but of course when i enter the house Siffrin decides to turn the scripted tutorial enemy into bean paste and ruins the run--
anyways. this panel will haunt me
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i. i dont even know how but. I beat the king without him ever getting a chance to make his first attack. i just kept spamming slow and two jackpots later he was dead. i didn't even knoiw that was possible.
after a bit of fucking around i decided that i was gonna move on to act 5 and promptly burst into tears
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update: i accidentally posted this too early dont look at me
sat and cried through the entirety of the party's interactions in act 5
screaming crying throwing up
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even the king took one look at this dude and was like "are you good man like, you can take a rest before we do this you're literally about to topple over"
that post where odile says the oven copypasta during the mal du pays scene has permanently altered my brain and i literally laughed out loud when this line appeared
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i haven't talked about it before but. a while ago i made a concept for a game based off the backrooms and omori, and odile talking about someone who is forgotten may not exist is the basis for the entire game's plot, it makes me want to go back and flesh it out a bit more!!!
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i am deadset on the idea of making an edit with mirabelle's reflection craft but it's an uno reverse card
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simultaneously in my brain: an edit where the sound mirabelle's reflection craft makes is the metal pipe meme
i am. such a fucking sucker for sickfics. i cannot get enough of them. act 5 has enough sickfic tropes to make a million spinoff fics on its own, it brings me life and i love it dearly
wailing
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this line sends me into orbit every time i see it
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odile attacking siffrin. hurts so, so so badly on an emotional level for me. Because like??? i get it. i get it and it sucks and she obviously doesn't want to, but she's scared. But siffrin is even more scared in that moment, and the immediate association of that pain with being hated by odile hurts me so much.
YEAHHHH ODILE GIRLBOSS SUPREME
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they're so soft and squishy and cute in this image i c a n t
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incoherent WAILING. this. this image. this image just about broke me. THEYRE SO HAPPY and RELIEVED, IT HURTS,,,
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the tone shift to talking to the party afterwords is still so funny to me HJBDFBSBFH like lookit him. hes so smol. so silly.
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we're kidnapping bonnie guys it's official
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my honest reaction to this line: LESBIANS??????
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and then she hits me with:
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AND I LOST IT
more silly guy siffrin,,,,, my favorite
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aaaa aAAAAAAAAAAA
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ISABEAU'S SPRITE CHANGING TO BE DOING A HAPPY DANCE AFTER THE CONFESSION IS SOOOOO CUTE WAAA
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bonnie and odile clapping for isabeau confessing will never not be funny but ALSO it implies the bonnie knew about Isa's crush. and i for one personally believe that they picked up on it from Odile's relentless teasing of Isabeau as the #1 Isafrin shipper
mirabelle: wait you had a crush on sif?????? and i didn't know????
my roommate, who is ace: this is the aroace experience for real,,,
literally all of the second interactions with Isabeau had me and my roommate SCREAMING
HOWLING LAUGHING
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OK I NEVER KNEW???? THAT SIFFRIN TOLD ISABEAU ABOUT THE BAD TOUCH EVENT?????? IN CANON???? I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS A FANON THING BUT THEY ACTUALLY ADDRESS IT IN GAME AND???? ISA'S REACTION HAD ME ON THE FLOOR
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siffrin: i kissed you once,,,,
isa:
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the words "im being perfectly normal about this" is something i say on a daily basis so i relate to this wholeheartedly
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AYO???????? ISA WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO SMOOTH????
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this. this image. made my jaw hit the GODDAMN FLOOR. I WAS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED FOR IT AT ALL AND BOTH ME AND MY ROOMMATE S C R E A M E D WHEN WE SAW IT
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LIKE???? HOLY FUCK SIF JESUSSSSSSSSSSS CHRIST???? how did isabeau not implode on the spot from that look bro howwwwwwwwwww
AND THEN. AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE MY HEART START SOBBING. ISA BLOWS YOU A KISS???? AAAA???
annnnd scene!
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i will continue playing to get some of the different loop endings and i totally plan on doing two hats in the future!!! so im not quite done with this game yet i just got impatient in act 4 and i needed the Emotional Catharsis of Act 5
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obae-me · 11 months ago
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MYYYY GOSHHHH. I was the one who sent the original, Siren!Lucifer ask and I COULDN'T HAVE IMAGINED THIS!! All the things ppl added onto it is just... chef's kiss! All these mindboggling hc's got me all kicking my feet and giggling like a schoolgirl oof >.< It has made my brainrot a thousand times worse!! XD
While I am still not a 100% satisfied with my writing abilities, here- I wanted to try a lil sumn-
You keep coming back to the beach. Maybe not every day, but still enough to have you questioning your sanity for willingly walking back to danger like this. The man... or mermaid? Or whatever it was you saw that day had grabbed your interest and was holding onto it tightly with those clawed hands of his. Your first encounter with him felt like a fever dream. You had never seen a man so inhumanely beautiful with those bright red eyes, and lithe body bathed in the moonlight. It had taken you a while to actually compute what you were seeing infront of yourself; because this wasn't a man to begin with. A gorgeous red tail replaced the space where a pair of human legs should've been.
It was an awkward affair when your eyes had met his. He stared for a while; still singing in that almost bioelectric voice of his? You truly hadn't heard anything like it to compare it to, but it felt like his voice was reverberating inside your head. Only to look at you with confusion after he stopped singing; as if you'd grown 2 heads when you still stood the same distance away from him than you had been before. His eyes narrowed and you could almost feel the irritation itching under his skin through his stare. You both stood still... just staring at each other until he gave up with a huff and splashed into the inky depths of the ocean.
This was the fifth time you were going to see him. The second time you found him (3 days after the incident) went a little better. You managed to wrangle a name out of him in exchange of yours and the fact that he was a Siren. You had heard of them before, but only in folktales and never took them seriously, but the man sitting on the rocks before you clearly proved otherwise. You wondered if their existence was the reason so many people went missing at sea; their bodies never found.
You were not stupid; as down in the dumps you were (enough to keep seeking his company against your better judgement) and wanting to escape this life of yours, his sharp black claws and fangs that poked out every time he spoke were warning enough to keep you standing a good distance away from the water on the sand. He could absolutely rip you to shreds; you were sure of that, but he kept coming back yet always sat by those rocks; not coming closer yet not moving away. You wondered why, but it seemed that it had something to do with his frustration. (Unknown to you was the fact, that by you not being brainwashed after listening to his song, you had dealt a massive blow to his ego. He simply COULD not digest the fact that YOU KEPT COMING BACK and still escaped him every time. He decided then and there, that no matter how long it took, you won't get one over him. He wanted to absolutely DEVOUR you out of spite.)
After the initial rocky start (lol pun was not intended) things fell into a weird yet comforting routine. You would always seek him out, sit on the beach and just... talk about anything and everything. He was a breath of fresh air from the oppressive routine you had found yourself stuck in. Time with him was an escape from the worries and regrets that plagued your mind and you always felt disappointed when it was time to go back. You'd talk about your classes, your parents, what you ate for lunch, your friends and how sometimes it felt that things were spiraling out of control in your own life. He'd always listen attentively and in turn tell you about his brothers' shenanigans (it took a long time for him to tell you about himself in the first place), and the everyday stresses of his own life.
It greatly amused you that even sirens couldn't escape from the worries of everyday life, and the stories about his brothers made you laugh till your stomach hurt. Slowly but surely, the distance between you became shorter. You sat closer, till your feet grazed the gentle waves, and he decided the rock that was a little further ahead in the shallower waters was now his seating of choice.
You kept wanting to tell him, but stopped just shy; of how much color he had brought back to your dull life. Some days the air shifts and you both forgo the routine just a little for each others' sakes. You talk about how inadequate you felt sometimes, how you wished you could go back and do it all right, how you feel so scared and hurt from the people who were supposed to love you the most. He talks about how he wishes he could be closer to his brothers, repair the bonds he broke and take away the pain he caused them, how his family was all he cared about and how he himself ruined it. In those tender moments you feel the need to reach out him, hold his hand and to somehow lessen the burdens that muddies the brilliant red of his eyes and sag his shoulders in exhaustion.
.
.
.
Of course you should've known better. You did know better. When time and time again the world had proven to you that the only one you can truly trust is yourself. You don't know why you let the walls you spent so long building around yourself crumble infront of him so easily, because as Lucifer lied on top you; one hand pinning you down and the other posed right at your jugular, you wonder when you had gotten so careless. His eyes; the first thing you had noticed about him, brewed up a storm and his mouth set in a hard line. You didn't cry. You didn't scream. How cruel was it of him to give you hope to live, only to rip it away from you in an instance. But at the end of the day you only have yourself to blame. After all the only one you have is yourself in this world...
[Oof it got so long, I didn't expect this- sorry~~~]
Aaaaaaaah, I'm absolutely flailing and sobbing! The allure of this AU is too strong! I can't!
Thank you for writing all this out to share with me, omg, it's beautiful. It feels like a special gift that I will be archiving in my favorites tag! So sweet, I love things like this, I love feeling the passion and excitement behind people's words. It's so invigorating and is actually making me want to write again (I've been in the dumps and have lost a lot of motivation to do the things I enjoy, but that's neither here nor there).
I love this back and forth Siren ideas with everyone, it's making my week!
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annemissingshoe · 2 years ago
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Some of my WH aus
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Psychic and Esper Au: this one of my au, it’s somewhat based on Saiki k, not going to be completely following what happening in the Anime. Might change something. I made a Julie focused au because there are so many aus focuses on Wally, I also thought it would be fun to have Julie be Saiki because why not.
I have no idea what I’m doing with this au anymore but here we are. :0
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Concealed/Eclipse Au: You can see a little of Eclipse sally in the last image. This is more of a Sally foucued Au, In this au there is an entity that is possessing the puppets and the entity likes to prank/play with the puppets, which is a inconvenience to the puppets because they go go around doing things that causing small problems or making them question their sanity. (Also @kursein has guess correctly on which one is Eclipse Sally) Made this au because of the page seen in this post, kinda just got the idea for it
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Altered Timelines au: Basically the backrooms, the wh cast fall through a crack in their universe, ending up in an altered timeline where the cast are different in appearance and maybe personality. (And some don't even exist..)
Yeah I didn't want to rewrite what my friend wrote, I just copied and pasted what they said about our au.
————————————————————————— One of my Multiversal au, Lacuna!Julie: Julie would always leave her au to interact with other aus, one day when Julie came back she found out her au had been destroyed while she was gone, Julie and Poppy are the only survivors of their au. The other characters are dead, she goes to visit her friend’s graves, she knows they're gone but she stil goes to visit to talk to them about current events. Julie tries her best to help others.
I made this au because I wanted an au just for the WH au multiverse. I made more multiversal characters over time. Go there to see the blog. This is just my multiverse au honestly, I saw everyone else making one and I decided to join too. Adding on there are other multiversers that I have made beside Lacuna and her Poppy, some of them do have ask blogs. While others don’t have one yet or won’t have one at all.
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Ascended Sally au: Sally has ascended and trying to force help the others ascend too, unfortunately they won't let her help them. They keep locking themselves inside their houses during the night and don't go into the forest anymore, but that's ok she will find a way to help them ascend too. The others are try to find a way to bring Sally back to normal but they’re running out of hope.
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This is my Main blog, I’m more active over there
Annemissingshoe is my secondary account and I’m not on here that often anymore, you can ask things on the blog below instead since it’s a side blog on my main account, I’ll see way fast than I would on my secondary blog.
keep in mind this my aus, even tho it's based on the og Welcome home, it has nothing to do with the actual canon story of welcome home. Just a couple of aus I made, that's it.
Boundaries and Rules
-fanart is allowed as long it's sfw, if you want to draw fanart go ahead (gore is fine too) and also tag me in the post too, I would love to see the fanart:3
-drawing my aus interacting with other aus is allowed, also with your characters
-shipping my aus with your characters or other aus is allowed it’s depends on what au and character just ask me first before doing that, but Appesect and anything like it is not allowed tho
-character.Ais: Nah.
-have any questions about any of my aus or about go ahead ask, I don't mind answering questions, would love to talk about any of my aus
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About me
-artist
-I have some ocs that I will post here
-fandoms: SU, WH,UT, Omori, Amphibia, Toh, KATAOWB
-joined Tumblr during July
Main Tumblr account/blog: @/annelostshoe
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vaguelyinterestingidiot · 5 months ago
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Wildly speculative ideas about aliens by someone with no basis in astrobiology, an idiot made guide to the search for alien life (and maybe the state of science as a whole idk)
I have no idea how I'm supposed to rebuke all of the arguments I've heard on extra terrestrial locating when I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about and even sound half an ounce of coherent. I kinda just sprang out of bed, started browsing memes, and booked a ticket directly off the deep end of sanity boarding now. The fringe religious groups make it look so easy. I guess we'll start with a list of things that seem funny to me in the form of insane ranting. This is tumblr, after all.
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I saw a meme earlier that really jumpstarted the whole "I'm going the genderfluidly mansplain all of space" thing. Observe, bear witness, and oh wait I don't have the image downloaded. Essentially it was a joke about creatures in the ocean assuming that because there's no thermal heat vents (chemical soup, hot and fresh, not referencing any funny video here absolutely not at all I swearrrrr) that there would be no way of life existing on the surface of the ocean.
That raises an interesting question though. Why do we only look for planets that are getting their sunlight soup-kitchen on? Why aren't we looking at like, super dense planets? This of course, is assuming that I am actually even a little bit correct to assume a more dense planet core (gravity or whatever idk) would make it warmer inside. Why aren't we talking about fungus that eats tragically exploded nuclear reactors in Eastern (relative to the USA and also assuming you don't just. Go around west instead. that is. earth is a little bit of a shape that has more than one direction to go in.) countries? I believe I heard those called radiotrophs. Why not other sources of energy? What about a species or an entire ecosphere that has a main basis in eating sound waves generated by star explosions or something?
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I think our definition of life is too narrow. There, I said it. I think that in the whole conquest to describe everything in a neat little category (also you're not getting out of this one either Protista, I'm coming for you next you filing cabinet of things that aren't even like, at all categorizable by our other arbitrary categories) we have absolutely thrown out the idea of science as a whole. The idea that we can just say for absolute certain "These are the categories, read em and weep" and never ever question that even a little bit, well that's not very scientific now is it. Sure, experiments are repeatable if done right, but that's assuming ALL variables relevant held constant, and I don't think there's much of anything less constant than all known life at all. Why do we assume that we can just look at a virion, turn up our noses and go "NOT CELLS!!!1!111!!! DISQUALIFIIIIIIED!" when that's clearly not a living thing by our dumb dichotomy situation, but like. It's also not just a cluster of obsidian or something either.
The whole idea that life is only a very specific thing, and one based exactly on how it is here on the surface of Earth too for that matter, is a little dumb when your entire field is literally "let's find something we've never seen before yay!" and then you deny it even is real once you find it. We need to be looking at space generally just asking "huh, what's that? why is it doing that?" and not going "NOT LIFE GET OUTTA HERE DON'T CARE DIDN'T ASK!".
Expanding the parameters isn't really the answer here in my opinion either. Even if you go from categorizing all bouncy balls as being painted red to all bouncy balls as being painted, you're still disregarding the entire existence of any bouncy ball that doesn't have a shiny coat of paint. You're refusing to even acknowledge "Ah cool, that's a weird thing that isn't say, the average jumping rope! We should look at it some more!" with the analogy here being known existence as playground toys, living things being red bouncy balls and nonliving things being jumping ropes.
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Overspecialization is ruining the search for aliens. Picture this, you're a person tasked with describing society, the human race, and all of its social nuances, let's say, an anthropologist. Sure, you probably don't need a PHD in women's studies Robotnik style, but you're gonna have one hell of a time convincing people you've reached the answer to anything at all if you've never heard of women. Argue all you like about what the definition of a woman is politically, scientifically, or anything else, but if you don't even have any sort of awareness that such a configuration of a human could exist, how are you even gonna scratch the surface of a good chunk of history, or social structure, or anything else for that matter? I mean hell, even the basic idea that male and female humans can have their cells combined to create an offspring goes out the window without that basic idea of "hmm this thing is not exactly the same in every single way to this other thing I'm looking at. I'm gonna categorize and say that nothing else outside of these categories exists. Anything nonbinary in gender or intersex in physical form can go over there and sit nicely in the corner."
The very idea only people who have studied enough are qualified to look for something, and that once you reach your ability to be qualified to look for it, that you just know more than anyone else about it by default... Why? Sure, Muay Thai instructors probably don't all know how to bake bread, and not all professional bread baking legends know how to apply full body force to knock someone down. but there's definitely intersection. Two vastly unrelated things both depend on very similar skills and concepts. I can easily see someone from a classroom (I don't know the exact appropriate word. Dojo? Gym? Classroom works I hope.) on how to hand someone their rear end showing a baker how to maximize bread kneading based on force applied, and then that baker teaching the same guy that sometimes you have to let the dough rest and rise. That when in the process of whooping butt, sometimes you need the peace to let things come into motion on their own.
Just because you don't know everything doesn't automatically mean you also know nothing. In fact, that very idea is probably how you get so many people claiming they know everything about everything, because they are not validated to join the conversation otherwise. They're not asked "why do you think this works like this?" not in a sort of teaching manner where one person assumes to know the ultimate answer and will tell the novice they're wrong and that THIS is the correct truth, but more rather to gain perspective and fuel the ability to think about things outside of your own little bubble of professionals who all learned in more or less the same way and probably lose sleep at night over similar questions. Even if someone asks a question that you find so profoundly stupid to even consider like "what if the aliens haven't come to earth because they're all lactose intolerant and they're abducting cows to cure themselves" why can't you sit and think about it for a moment? Construct an argument? Hell, if you're lucky, think deeply enough about it that you have an epiphany on something not quite the same but it got the cogs turning anyway? What if you even, maybe by some stroke of insanity and disregard for all preconceived notions, found that they might actually have a point?
Isn't it kind of the picture of scientific achievement to be that one dude who everyone is shouting at for even suggesting that the earth isn't flat, or that maybe we should stop using asbestos in everything?
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You have simply lost your sense of wonder. To explain everything in perfect detail in a world where perfection is paradoxical, why are you trying to chemically synthesize the emotion humans define as joy in your neurons that fire into an uncaring void while your blood that was never your own carries these signals originally meant to keep your soon to be corpse and then even sooner after cosmic dust, or a bit of a dog who ate some grass, or a puff of carbon dioxide out of a tailpipe of some yet to come new great civilization's machines? What end are we trying to achieve here? It is generally known, or at least, I would assume it is given my own experiences, that immortality would be one hell of a curse. If the knowledge of everything circling right back around to nothing didn't do you in, the grief of everything you know being no more and everything you don't becoming some mix of normal would. Don't get me wrong, we should absolutely be trying to cure sickness and perfect the fine science of the prettiest song and find new ways to reinvent wheels that have been turning longer than we've known ourselves around to question them, but why? If you lose your wonder, your purpose, that thing that drives every great scientist in their childhood to look up to the stars or down at the bugs on the ground with a sense of astonishment, if we replace it with the cold clinical need to understand EVERYTHING EXACTLY HOW IT IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE then why do it at all? Why cure sickness if you can't suffer from it? Why bother to make the most beautiful piece of music anyone has ever heard if nobody, not even the composer, can stop and feel the sway of their head bobbing along? You say you've grown up, but no. I say you've grown bitter and jaded and disconnected yourself for the very purpose of connecting deeper. Why even find extra terrestrial life if we're just going to chuck them into the Protista junk drawer and move on to the next stranger civilization? What motivation could someone have to stare deeply into the profoundly unknown if they had some certainty it would ever be fully understood?
Research is amazing, it's great. I love being able to open my magic big rectangle that contains the artic winds and pull out a tub of ice cream at a whim. It's so great that we have the advancements, and I'd reckon we should make more, but why bother if the only thing that will satisfy you is ALL of the advancements? What sort of science are you going to achieve doing a completionism run of the universe itself and not sitting and enjoying what you discovered? Probably not fridges. Maybe not even bombs. At that point, you're doomed to spiral into a depression and give up the search for the ETs and Spocks of the universe entirely. Why?
IN SUMMARY (or maybe not)
I had some other points to make about things to do with finding aliens but here I go again finding my own philosophical thoughts and loss of meaning spiral and whatever. I particularly like absurdism, the direct opposition to nihilism's "why?". The ability to go "why not?". I have sort of run out of steam on the intense frantic questions and trying to show people a different way, the exact thing that this whole post says you shouldn't be doing anyway, so I'm gonna go have a pudding cup. Enjoy life, look for aliens, take the stick out of your ass, have a nice day.
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authorofthemoon · 1 year ago
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Alright I wanna catalogue all my thoughts on Persona 3 Reload but it's gonna start with an info dump. I rescued Fuuka and about halfway though the revenge website arc. So first done teammate thoughts.
I think the protagonist is pretty boring I just feels like he's less present than Yu and Ren. All his answers are either boring, polite, or really mean. Not a lot of opportunities to be a silly goose at least so far. I get the feeling he's meant to be a little emo and possibly apathetic to others due to the game's themes.
Junpei is cool, really silly goofy guy. Sucks he falls victim to Persona idiot guy syndrome and is kinda treated poorly by everyone and is kinda perverted. It's not insane but it's their.
Honestly love Takebe so much. She is such a normal person and it's so refreshing. And I mean normal normal like she is trying her fucking best even though she's kinda lame (affectionate) at times. Like the Ace Defective line made me laugh solely because of her pause beforehand like she tried so hard. And her random beef with Kirijo is so good. It's probably explained later but day one she did not get a good vibe from her and is constantly like 'Idk she gives me the ick' is so funny to me.
Speaking of Kirijo. Love her. Queen shit. Mother. Actual group mom. She's trying her best and again she's so funny. Her thinking that someone broke into Junpei's room when he's simply a slob is peak to me. She is THE Empress.
Akihiko. We love a good gym bro himbo. Him and Shinji have messy exes energy. Not much to him yet honestly but I'm excited to know more.
Same with Fuuka she seems really cool. Normal shy girl character but I'm sure we get a lot more depth with her social link.
Speaking of which social link rundown.
Kenji had me questioning my sanity bc why am I so supportive of this guy getting groomed? I can say it's a bad idea to ask out your teacher but I can never be like 'hey, she's a pedo.' I literally have been speed running his link bc I need to know if she's a creep or if he's delusional. I'm at 9 so it seems to be delusional.
I took one look at Odagiri and went 'ah yes, he's a little bit fucked up.' only halfway through so curious where it goes.
Would die for the elderly couple I need to advance their link.
Miyamoto, go to a fucking doctor do you not know how injuries work?
Chihiro I would kill for you. Not that far into her link but her dad can catch these hands.
Maya is cool. Not that engaging of a link tbh.
Hiraga is very cute and sweet so I wanna advance his link I'm only a couple in.
Yuko is cool I'm only at 4 with her. She's funny and quick witted.
I will fucking kill Maiko's parents and adopt her myself. I'm only at 5. The moment I saw she was hanged arcana I was worried for her.
Pharos is cool idk how to advance his link I assume it'd natural.
Haven't done much with Bebe. Will at some point.
I just started the monk. He's interesting.
Suemitsu my sweet summer child go to fucking therapy. About halfway through and the tea is piping hot. Bro is literally like eating himself to death or something. I do think he's very sweet though.
That's about it loving the game despite a few nitpicks bc it's Atlus and my grudge against then is eternal.
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annelostshoe · 2 years ago
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Drawings of Psychic and Esper Au, a little bit Concealed/Eclipse Au and Lacuna!Julie, also info for my aus
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Some of my WH aus
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Psychic and Esper Au: this one of my au, it’s somewhat based on Saiki k, not going to be completely following what happening in the Anime. Might change something. I made a Julie focused au because there are so many aus focuses on Wally, I also thought it would be fun to have Julie be Saiki because why not.
I have no idea what I’m doing with this au anymore but here we are. :0
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Concealed/Eclipse Au: You can see a little of Eclipse sally in the last image. This is more of a Sally foucued Au, In this au there is an entity that is possessing the puppets and the entity likes to prank/play with the puppets, which is a inconvenience to the puppets because they go go around doing things that causing small problems or making them question their sanity. (Also @kursein has guess correctly on which one is Eclipse Sally) Made this au because of the page seen in this post, kinda just got the idea for it
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Altered Timelines au: Basically the backrooms, the wh cast fall through a crack in their universe, ending up in an altered timeline where the cast are different in appearance and maybe personality. (And some don't even exist..)
Yeah I didn't want to rewrite what my friend wrote, I just copied and pasted what they said about our au.
————————————————————————— One of my Multiversal au, Lacuna!Julie: Julie would always leave her au to interact with other aus, one day when Julie came back she found out her au had been destroyed while she was gone, Julie and Poppy are the only survivors of their au. The other characters are dead, she goes to visit her friend’s graves, she knows they're gone but she stil goes to visit to talk to them about current events. Julie tries her best to help others.
I made this au because I wanted an au just for the WH au multiverse. I made more multiversal characters over time. Go there to see the blog. This is just my multiverse au honestly, I saw everyone else making one and I decided to join too. Adding on there are other multiversers that I have made beside Lacuna and her Poppy, some of them do have ask blogs. While others don’t have one yet or won’t have one at all.
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Ascended Sally au: Sally has ascended and trying to force help the others ascend too, unfortunately they won't let her help them. They keep locking themselves inside their houses during the night and don't go into the forest anymore, but that's ok she will find a way to help them ascend too. The others are try to find a way to bring Sally back to normal but they’re running out of hope.
I will talk more about my aus later on. Adding on to this post I plan on talking about my aus on secondary account (or Main account if you want. Cause I’m way more active on here)
But you can ask thing on this blog instead since it’s a side blog on this account, I’ll see way fast than I would on my secondary blog.
keep in mind this my aus, even tho it's based on the og Welcome home, it has nothing to do with the actual canon story of welcome home. Just a couple of aus I made, that's it.
Boundaries and Rules
-fanart is allowed as long it's sfw, if you want to draw fanart go ahead (gore is fine too) and also tag me in the post too, I would love to see the fanart:3
-drawing my aus interacting with other aus is allowed, also with your characters
-shipping my aus with your characters or other aus is allowed it’s depends on what au and character just ask me first before doing that, but Appesect and anything like it is not allowed tho
-character.Ais: Nah.
-have any questions about any of my aus or about go ahead ask, I don't mind answering questions, would love to talk about any of my aus
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nuclear-frog · 1 year ago
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BG3 Playthrough 2 Complete!
This run took only about 140 hours.
I played a half-elf monk this time and I romanced Halsin (her hair is supposed to be black but I couldn't get it to look darker).
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Withers called me a sad, lonely loner for a long time because I didn't want to sleep around. Very rude. I would think a god would be familiar with the concept of slow burn. Combat was so, so much easier since I understood what different class functions were - and by the end, I was a force to be reckoned with! I had so much movement I would just go along a line of enemies. Stun! Stun! Stagger! Prone! No turn for you! Astarion on cleanup behind me. I saw many different areas of the game that I'd never seen before!
First playthrough, I took one step into Ethel's swamp and Gale saw it was disguised by an illusion and full of enemies. I noped out of it and forgot to come back. This time, I waltzed straight in and had to kill Aunty Ethel immediately… because she did not take kindly to me stealing her AMAZING toad teapots. I simply had to collect them all. I need a display case.
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I found Kagha's suspicious letter and did nothing about it. :) Mayrina's brothers were killed at some point, but I was able to save her and guide her to mourning in a healthier way by not zombifying her rotting husband. I stumbled into the Zhentarim hideout and they decided my vibes were off so I had to kill them pretty quick, too. Which seems unfortunate because I think they were probably selling something neat. Oh, well. I recruited Minthara! I was surprised by how insightful she is. I like her a lot, even though her dialogue was pretty broken the entire playthrough. I recruited Jaheira before the siege of Moonrise so I could keep her alive this time. She is a gem.
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Since I had Jaheira, I booked it to the Guildhall to get Minsc. Jaheira, Minsc, and Ninefingers have silly banter. I made Jaheira question my sanity by agreeing with and encouraging the simple, righteous himbo. As a monk, is it any surprise I would vibe with the "punch first, ask questions later" mentality?
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I'm so glad I can play along with him. Briefly considered multiclassing Minsc into a druid.
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Found Mayrina again in Baldur's Gate! She had a much healthier mindset as well as a nice new wool coat (I had to help her again). Also Aunty Ethel came back but she did not have any more toad teapots. :( Found a note from Grandpa Ketheric in the Steel Watch Foundry regarding one of the constructs from the arcane tower in the Underdark. "Gortash, you like these things I don't understand, take it and be happy. Kids these days and their toys. Why, back in my day, there was none of this metal servant nonsense--" Yadda yadda old-fashioned something something zombies blah blah…
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I actually fought Viconia and friends this time. My first playthrough, they brought out bonechill and darkness and I simply decided I'd rather invisibly pickpocket the wizard in the back for the key and teleport out after. This time, I cleared everyone out pretty easily and met Nocturne, an old Sharran friend of Shadowheart's. That and Viconia's weapons? Worth it. My epilogue party was crammed full! I had all the companions and even decided to save Volo again despite my better judgement. I can't spare someone like Valeria but leave Volo to die, can I? I got a few more letters than last time! My favorites were from Nocturne and the young Harper Geraldus.
Next playthrough? I'm thinking sorcerer…
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arcane-vagabond · 1 year ago
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Hey there love, how have you been?
It's the annon from like a week ago? I cant remember actually I have an awful sense of time lol
Well I'm the one who said that came across MMATS! and now I'm finally here with thoughts.
So let's start with Jake. Oh darling you made me a wreck for this man since chapter 1. He's so sweet and protective and even delicate with Skipper but the second she stands her ground, especially in chapter 7 he's there to support her and tell her everything she wants and needs to know about merfolks.
OH OH AND THE GIFTS JAKE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART I CAN'T TAKE IT
And that "Mine." when he sees Skip is using one the pearls he gave her as a necklace well.... this man is going to be the death of me. I can't forget to talk about when he started calling her his good girl as well.... Ma'am I literally melted and melt everytime since. Praise kink don't really affect me much but there's something about this man that makes my brain just go brrrr
Now let's change the subject before I won't be able to shut up about him lol
How I love the daggers but at the same time want to slap every single one of then (except Nat and Bob they're my babies heheh) I know they meant well by hiding the truth from Skip and were even protecting themselves and their home with such a huge secret but the girl was literally questioning her sanity at point guys, like come on
OH I'M SO CURIOUS ABOUT A SCENE
Jake says to Skipper in chapter 8 that he has bitten Bradley because he was jealous, the way that I started laughing at this part I can't even explain KABDKWJSKD
Can we get a drabble of this scene? I'd love to see what made Jake resort to such form of violence lol
Before I go, I gotta say I have a few theories regarding some events that have been happening around town but I'll keep to myself for now, just want some characters to know that I'm watching them, they better be on their best behavior....
Last but not least I'd like to talk about Skipper. I just love her your honor. The way you write her makes me feel like she's a childhood friend, I can't explain because I just started to get to know her like a week ago but I really like reading her story.
Well I think that's it. Thank you for writing such an amazing story my love! I'll be sure to check your other stories while I wait for Chapter 9 (there's no rush to write it, take your time!) especially DHTN! that I saw that you just recently finished.
Oh sorry about the length of this thing, and since its an ask I couldn't figure out a way to put it under the cut. Sorry as well for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language and see you soon darling!
Hi Nonny!! I’ve been okay, just tired haha But my last shift at my retail job was last night so I have my weekends back finally!! That should help a lot!
And Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!! I’m so glad you liked it!! MMATS is very special to me, and I’m always down to hear what people think!!
I do have plans to write a Drabble for that scene, so maybe sometime this next week I’ll get to it?
And I’m so glad you like Skipper! I think one of the biggest struggles of writing second person reader insert is making the reader unique enough that they aren’t like others, but still vague enough that people can lose themselves in the narrative.
And never apologize for long asks!! I love them!! And your English was great, so no worries there either! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the other stories!!!
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everythingcanadian · 2 years ago
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Fall Flavourings
Pairing: John Watson/Sherlock Holmes/Greg Lestrade (Sherlock BBC)
Rating: T Suggested themes.
No Warnings.
Summary:
Day 3 of promptober: Experiment John is uneasy when Sherlock has nothing to occupy him. He needn't have worried.
AO3 Portal
The bubbling of beakers over bunsen burners didn’t bother John anymore. What did bother him was the lack of anything on the kitchen counter. Usually there was an experiment going on at all times within the flat, and to see no evidence of one put John on edge. And coming from the clinic, this was the last thing he wanted on a Thursday evening.
It was one thing to not see the actual experiment itself, but another entirely to not have one going on at all. John screwed his mouth up in silence, hoping to hear maybe something coming from somewhere. But nothing made a peep. It unnerved him. As if walking into some other dimension. 
He nearly jumped when the door downstairs flew open and the sounds of his lovers could be heard as they came through. Paper grocery bags were rustling along with the heavy footfalls that came up the seventeen steps.
“John? Are you home, love?” Greg’s voice filled the space and soon his smile lit it up as he came up and saw John in the doorway to the flat. His arms were filled with brown paper bags, and another plastic one swung from his left wrist. That would be their takeaway. And John knew they had already done the shopping a couple days ago. 
He took a deep breath and watched in mild horror as Sherlock also came into view on the landing, equally laden with paper bags. Before he could even open his mouth to comment Sherlock was telling him. 
“I want to see what all the fuss is regarding pumpkin and apple flavours.” As if it explained everything. “Naturally this is my new experiment. I’ve used sight and smell and sound. We’ve gone through touch and sensation quite thoroughly together. Now I want to use my taste.” Sherlock put his bags onto the cleaned up and bare kitchen countertop. “Aside from the obvious tastes in our sex lives, I don’t believe any of us have tried flavoured lubricants. Not that I would want to. Ours is sufficient. Yet testing is part of the fun.”
“I hope not all of this is just lube.” John could feel the tension in his neck rise. Greg stepped past him and into the kitchen as well, managing to push the bags onto the now full counter and gently put their dinner down in all its plastic glory onto the little space left. 
“Oh- no. Only five bottles. Fall flavours as advertised. The rest-”
Greg cut him off, much to Sherlock’s annoyance. “Pies, tarts, ice cream, candy, coffee cream, pasta, pasta sauce, and a bit more. A variety of food for a varied pallet.” He tried to sound annoyed, but John caught the smile that shone through. “He dragged me through almost every aisle.”
“And you enjoyed every moment watching me question the sanity of the population. Candy Corn Marshmallows, John. How disgusting. Yet I must agonize to get results.” Sherlock’s nose scrunched up, and Greg couldn’t help but pull the taller man in and lightly press a warm kiss to the cold and red tip. Sherlock crossed his eyes to look at Greg, only to chase him and press a soft kiss to his lips. “However. This time preparing for it was a sight better than usual.”
“I should hope so.” Greg took another kiss. “You still taste like that latte. You might not like it, but I do.”
“Only because I’ve ingested it.”
“Yes.” was the simple answer Greg gave, slowly unwinding Sherlock’s scarf for him, pushing the belstaff off his shoulders and coming around to take it off of their younger lover. 
Greg quickly hung their coats and Sherlock’s scarf, moving to John to take his thick jacket and to greet him. “Hello, love. Good day?” He stole a kiss from John as well, humming softly into it. John had come to find that Greg enjoyed intimacy and close proximity to those he loved. John gave up another gentle kiss.
“Long but thankfully it was quiet. Unlike what it sounds like for you both?”
Sherlock hummed. “Not difficult, just busy.”
“Multiple thefts. Different districts. Same group of hooligans. Chased half of them over the city. The other half gave up easily when they saw this git.”
Another deep hum as slowly, the things in the bags were put into the fridge or cupboards. “My experiment can wait until tomorrow. Tonight? Dinner, a predictable show, and then love making?”
“You can start your experimenting tonight, bring the lube to bed and we can try it out.” John smiled, shaking his head as he locked their door and followed his lovers in their dance of dishing themselves out takeaway and then promptly sitting close together and watching shit tv. 
“Hmm, I like the way your mind works, Watson.” Sherlock’s words gave a shiver down John’s spine. 
“He got us both slices of caramel and walnut cheesecake for dessert.” Greg whispered into his ear. 
John grinned to himself. He could stand a taste test disaster as long as his lover buttered him up for it.
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razzberrydazz · 2 months ago
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Saw a heinous take and blocked the person who said the heinous take because dear fucking lord who are you to demand people put a trigger warning on physically obvious disabilities and deformities and scars.
Like. Bruh you are just reinventing the Ugly Laws which indeed existed that functionally made it illegal to be visibly disabled in public. My heathen in Christ it is a good thing ugly and obviously disabled people can go out in public, that we don't have those ugly laws in modern day. Being so sensitive and averse to discomfort that you want a trigger warning for someone having scars or a visible disability is so damn juvenile.
I think I'll add MORE scars to my ocs out of spite from seeing that.
Being uncomfortable isn't being triggered. Discomfort is NOT anywhere as serious as what getting triggered actually means. Stop watering down the meaning of words. If seeing someone have visible scarring is enough to make you have a panic attack or PTSD flashback, you need serious help.
Putting trigger up on the shelf of 'words people overuse to the point of obfuscating their meaning' alongside gaslight and narcissist.
I think in certain scenarios, trigger warnings are fine, encouraged even, such as with epilepsy warnings. However, you cannot trigger warning everything under the sun, and there will always be something you didn't expect that can possibly be a trigger for someone.
Certain Christmas music triggers emotional flashbacks for me, but I'm not out here demanding places not play Xmas music, because I know that's an unreasonable ask and that the reality of my situation is that I have to mentally prepare myself for the possibly of emotional triggers during the holiday season. I know that going to public places like stores and malls during that season poses the risk of hearing the songs that set me off.
Reiterating that discomfort is not the same as being triggered. Being upset, or uncomfortable, or annoyed, are not being triggered. Learn the meanings of words and stop using them as hyperbole when you really mean something else.
You weren't gaslit, you were lied to. Gaslighting isn't just a funny word for lying, it's a specific manipulation tactic to make you question your memory and sanity by sewing doubt in whether you remembered something correctly. Yes gaslighting is a form of lying, but it's a specific form of lying.
That person who was an entitled asshole to you isn't automatically a narcissist, they're just being a toxic asshole. Not every abuser is a narcissist, and not every narcissist is an abuser (taps my sign about how cluster b personality disorders are not automatically abusers and are often victims of abuse themselves). It's being narcissistic, not being a narcissist.
The reality of our world is that we will inevitably deal with discomfort and deal with things we don't like. Often that discomfort is caused by other people. It is on us to deal with our own feelings and discomfort, and it is unreasonable and ableist to demand others placate you just so you don't have to see a disabled person in public.
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jonathankatwhatever · 4 months ago
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Here is where I truly question my sanity. I accept that this entire scenario is an inducing Actuality, meaning one in progress as a Storyline connecting various Ends. But what makes me wonder is how I left open a page about Sobolev space and my eyes went to it when I closed the pages on top of it - to the right is the map of focus in this ordering of pages which is to me the top of my focus - I saw the phrase ‘suitable in a weak sense’, clicked on that, which led to weak derivative. There, I skipped down to examples, saw the absolute value function, which made clear they’re using a different meaning for derivative, and that led to the sign function, which is the -1, 0, 1 progression I’ve been trying to locate in the ideas list.
That connects to the law of trichotomy, which is where we come in. We explain why the law of dividing into 3 pieces exists: it is SBE, Start-Between-End, and the law of trichotomy is an expression of that. Why does SBE exist? Because the mathematics constructs dimensional existence, meaning D-structure generates D3-4//4-3Space. All Things which have existed, which exist, which will exist are generated through D-structure’s operations. That statement is mathematical: D-structure generates all conceptions of time that can be imagined given that D3-4Space, that gsSpace for gsProcess, is continuous at an Observer scale. That Observer appears, for example, in the scale of the homogeneity of the physical universe, which is like 300 to 1000 million light years.
I feel like a fool but I’ve never thought about this material. It’s clear that we generate homogeneity and isotropy. We can show this through Actor and Observer, with the nice addition that we can move the camera and zoom through it all. Or rather, we can explain why we can make models which do this.
I was watching House last night. This one made the British roots of the show palpable: they emphasize what a nasty asshole he is, like he’s the classic British detective only concerned with the truth connected to the surfaces. House does this by becoming more of an asshole when he can’t identify the Attachment: why does he care about this? The one a few before with a dying 9 year old girl is the sort of opposite: he can’t believe she’s such a strong person. He can’t believe that exists and thinks it must be a tumor or something affecting her amygdala. So he goes in the room and tells her she has a choice of dying now or dying in the year she has left, and she tells him she loves her mother and effectively says she wants to give her mother as much time with her as she can. That made me cry. Of course she had no tumor.
They did a wonderful job giving Hugh Laurie American qualities. The monster trucks. The soap operas, which bridge the gap from Coronation Street to General Hospital. I can hear how Hugh makes his voice sound American. His process wavers enough that you can hear bits of regional accents being incorporated. I love how Americans don’t care about such pastiches. They can’t even hear them any more. When I was young, you could hear local accents quite clearly because there wasn’t much mixing around the country.
Got distracted. Imagine translating the universal homogeneity scale over CM1. As potential space, as computational potential, as the maps must invert because wow nothing would happen if they don’t. That’s really cool. I know I didn’t say it well but if the inversion is to some scale, then you’re saying that what happens on this side of the CM1 divider is not Attached to gsProcess. Or maybe here I need to say tsProcess. Did I really just type that? Seriously? That is Triangular Space Process, which is useful to use here because that’s what maps 1Space, which means Triangular and Hexagonal sheets, which translate into gsProcess where 0Space occurs. I know I’m not careful about which of those I mean but that’s because I’m trying to see and sometimes I gather it’s more like squinting in the gloaming.
I can’t even take a break without connecting stuff. An isotropic quadratic form: Observer to Actor at the 0, and the vector which relates the gsPerspectives.
I have to go out for a while.
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toriidabutcher · 9 months ago
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Altai: chapter one
I was 40 when I met the sweet 19 year old Sholpan,who was the sweetest girl in the village!  I lived outside of the village just looking at her when she gave me food and drink was enough kindness for me! She was beautiful with long dark hair and she was of the Buddhist religion, where I was of the shamanic religion!  She had jade like eyes that suggests that she was of the steppe!  I never desired anyone some much in my life!   As I was one not to care about anyone accept when they were in need off healing both spiritually or physically.  She was paler skin than me, that suggested that she part Qin, she must have had some  Qin in her.  Where I was in physical pain, and had many scars all over my face and body.....I was hideous to many people! But not her.  She  seemed to like my presence as we would talk to each other for hours.   I did not except her to kiss me one day as she was leaving from our talk!  I felt something that I never felt before.....actual love that I began to question my sanity at first!  Why would she want to kiss me....a hideous person and soul who had been tortured by other people for who I was!
I remember what she said after kissing me!   That she loved me and our time together. 
When I was waiting for the next week to see her, I was in sorrow that was beyond explanation!     As I said I was questioning my sanity for the first time since being tortured by the people of the south west!  Yes, I had vicious visions that came with being tortured but I never thought to question my sanity!  
Then she came back a week later! 
"Can I make love to you," I said.
She kissed me sweetly and said that her people would not approve of that!    But she kissed me again and soon stripped her clothing off her as well as mine  and we were in union for the first time.   This was the very first time that someone wanted to be with me.  I was skinny but powerfully built, and she was soft and sensual.  I loved kissing her and feeling her around me as we made love.  
"I want you," she said!  "I don't care about my people's thoughts about you!   I love you!"
I wanted to hear about that.
"What about the village," I asked! "Will they find out!"
"I don't care about that," she said.   Drawing  a long my scars and she kissed as she followed her finger!   I held her hand and wanted to hold her as if not to let go of her.  I kissed her shoulder and told her that I wanted to marry her! I was done being the out cast of the village! 
My yurt was just at the foothills of the altai mountains!  I wanted to not be alone anymore.  I wanted to finally be with someone who saw me as beautiful and loving and not hideous or terrifying!  As most people think that I am an evil presence except for those who needed to be healed.  And those people, were very desperate for sure! As I was called the bringer of the dead because of my ability to be in the spirit world with on foot and the other in the living realm!  8t was alway like that for me since I was born! 
Some people saw it as I gift but most saw it as a curse to be rid off in the first place especially from the people from the west and beyond.  But this sholpan was able to see me as something that was good and i was starting to see a different out look on my life and that was a good thing! 
I was compassionate to her and to her people but then they were not to me except for Sholpan!     As we were seeing more of eachother I wanted to marry her more and more!  Then one day she stopped being there for me so I went to her village to investigate.   I went into the village and saw that she, Sholpan was kissing a Buddhist monk that was of her age!   What hurt me was the fact that she did not recognize me!    I came back to the village every day, and one day I saw that she was getting bigger and bigger with each day!  I sensed a new life growing with in her.  She was with child and I know that child was not mine!  That I saw In  a dream that she was marrying the monk and running away with him to the Himalayas!  I wanted revenge for what she had done, breaking my heart and devastating me with her actions!
I guess I was sentenced to a life of isolation and evil  for who I was! And for who I looked like!  A monster!
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klondiketales · 1 year ago
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(W.E) I had a question again, it came to me when I was reading the comments under the chapter dies irae, and I saw a comment from you about a bunch of dead children, I thought that if Rocky was not completely biologically male, and really was pregnant, of course, they were the children of his rapist and all that, but I think Rocky was somewhat attached to them, maybe he saw something positive in them in this situation, and he would have been horrified that Calvin kills their children, I think that he would even try to protect them from Calvin, but he would still get hurt from Calvin, and in the end the children would still die, I think that the first murder of the child finally broke Rocky, and something inside him finally died when Calvin decides to have children again, and the cycle repeats itself again, Rocky will try not to get attached to the children, because why? He'll end up killing them anyway, but Rocky still gets attached to the kids, and relives all that pain and suffering all over again, but there won't be a bunch of dead kids, because the second time they have a kid, and Calvin takes a swing at the kid again, Rocky, without any hesitation, rips his throat out, literally, after killing his cousin/kidnapper/rapist/fathers of his children, Rocky somehow crawls out of that hole, along with his child, and leaves that hole, after that, Rocky lives in another city, under a different name, and is raising his child, he completely focused his life on him, because his son is the only thing that supports his life, and sanity, by the way, his son's name is Aiden ... oops, something took me to the wrong place, but if you're interested, the first child's name was Coleman
I always thought that I should’ve (or at least could’ve) made Rocky trans for Dies Irae so that he could actually get pregnant. I mean, I can always make an au where that’s what happened. This is a really good idea. I can see Rocky tearing Freckle’s throat out with his teeth, but I wonder how he would un-chain himself from the wall after Freckle was dead? Maybe he got lucky and Freckle had the key in his pocket.
Poor Rocky. His maternal instincts would make him want to keep the baby alive, and he’d get steadily more and more attached to it, even though the baby is a byproduct of the horrific abuse he was forced to endure at the hands of his own cousin, his once best friend, who he was eventually forced to kill in order to protect not only himself but his innocent offspring too.
You know, having no family, no house, and no money, Rocky was already in an extremely vulnerable position, but now that he has a kid, his position is one hundred times worse. Have you ever seen The Kid by Charlie Chaplin? That’s one of my favorite movies hfhghg. But basically social services came in and took the five-year-old boy away from his father because they were living in tenement conditions, so they accused the dad of abuse and/or neglect, and ripped the kids away from him and tried to put it in an orphanage. And we all know how poorly those orphan children are treated. Rocky would be terrified of losing his son like that (he’s probably heard stories about it happening to other people) so he would use his cleverness and…basically hook up with the first man (or woman) willing to give him a home, provide for him, and keep him and his baby safe and fed. Rocky really needs that now, so if the person (a boyfriend, let’s say) abused him in any way, he would just have to put up with it, for the sake of his child, because after all the trauma he’s been through, and being as sick, injured, and weak as he is, he can’t see another way out.
This hypothetical boyfriend would be extremely controlling and make sure there’s no chance Rocky could ever leave him. Until the boyfriend gets tired of him and kicks him out. Then Rocky would have to move on to the next boyfriend, and the next, and the next, and so on. But he never gives up, he refuses to lose his baby, he’s determined to find a way.
Those are good names! I have to write this au.
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