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rpbetter · 3 years

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Thanks for your thoughts. Nope, I don't have another problem with the psa. It's the subtle word choice pretty much, but nothing else. I don't mind if people use me as a meme farm, so when I see psas like that or comments like that, I get upset because I associate it with people who make other blanket assumptions about all rpers, I have it linked in my head with people going around saying "rp is a hobby not a jobby" and making other assumptions about how all rpers do their thing.

Thank you for answering those questions!

The assumptive quality of the RPC can seriously be annoying as hell, especially if you're in the minority on any particular issue. When that's the case, the PSAs are so rarely geared toward you and any issues you might be experiencing that it's legitimately upsetting. I absolutely feel you on that!

I mean, obviously. Obviously lol I do. It couldn't be much clearer that I have a serious issue with the constant bombardment of PSAs insisting that we normalize shitty behaviors that are the damn norm, that we're all just losers RPing on tumblr so no one should be anxious about anything ever (instead of, you know, maybe trying to legitimately boost people's confidence, radical thought), or that anything that isn't being hostile to oneself is being hostile to everyone else.

I think the issue is that, while there is obviously a majority set of takes/issues/experiences (though, those, too, absolutely can skew toward one's particular RP corner and style), there's no way to address every instance and variable of an issue. Particularly not when anything other one paragraph is too lengthy for a lot of people here to engage with in a meaningful way.

So, I know I have to frequently ask, "is this a legitimate or hostile sort of blank-statement, or is it just addressing the majority experience? If it's the latter, is it genuinely enough of a problem to address?"

Like, did they mean that this is an experience most RPers have, or did they mean this is the only experience/is the correct and only way to do things? And that's not always answerable, of course, but when I feel like it is, it's usually found on OP's blog and RPC itself.

If OP has expressed things that are not the majority experience, expressed that they do not agree with blanket-statements, and doesn't imply with every rule, PSA, point on the DNI, and so on that to approach and proceed with RP in a way they do not is to commit some manner of terrible IRL crime? It's almost certainly that they were just expressing a majority experience and nothing more.

And in this case, yeah, as I'm sure you've noticed from being on the opposite side of this, it is the majority experience. I don't recall ever seeing very many RPers who do not espouse having an issue with having their memes and aesthetics reblogged without some manner of (rules specified if they're not a dick) interaction/relationship with the other mun. (Such as "mutuals are okay to reblog" or "I expect reblog karma and practice it.")

I don't know if there has been an influx of newer RPers or those who have migrated from more relaxed areas of the RPC, but recently, there really has been an increase in at least my corners of muns being used as resource blogs when they do not wish to be. They've all expressed in their rules their particular boundaries for that, have made overall posts politely but firmly asking that people who do not write with them and haven't even read their rules not do this, and have gone directly to the worst offenders to ask them to stop. And it continues to happen. So, I imagine that is why you might be seeing an influx of PSAs about the matter in response.

For anyone watching this conversation that might not understand why some muns are so against this, some reasons are:

clogging up their notifications

the aesthetic was their picture, edit, quote, etc. and not meant to be shared off their blog/only by the partner(s) tagged in it

when you reblog from someone, their URL is obviously attached, spreading them to another dash full of people - they might like you, but not want some of your mutuals following to their blog

their muse doesn't get much interaction, but other muns keep reblogging memes/aesthetics from them when they won't write with them or send anything in

they feel used for the above reason or any variety of other reasons

I'm really sure you know that, Anon, but I think it's important that we all understand where we're coming from because there are so many different preferences and experiences. It's really not good enough to just feel like everyone can do whatever they want, so long as it isn't harassing anyone else/they're being respectful of others. Because can feel that way all we want to while still getting upset when we lack the understanding of preferences that are extremely different, or even in opposition to our own.

We can't effectively respect each other without that sort of understanding of even the things that annoy us, you know? So, I try to promote that understanding and explain things for people who might simply see this on their dash.

Like the "hobby not jobby" thing! I don't get that, I think it has some concerning IRL connotations people are not recognizing, and it's a great way to treat other muns like shit while justifying the behavior. It's in opposition to what I do not because it exists, but rather, because it is weaponized in order to excuse bad behavior and vilify muns who do not engage with the hobby in this way. It doesn't have to exist in hostile opposition to how I enjoy RP, the use of it has made it this way, is what I'm saying.

But I understand where it came from and what it means for the more rational, adult muns here who feel this way. To them, it's just that this is an ultra casual hobby. The way I engage with RP is like a full contact sport lol it requires a lot of effort and engagement, and the effort and engagement is fun. They way they engage with RP is an act of disengaging, it is more like what watching TV is for me - they're just here for some light, quick entertainment.

Understanding this difference is understanding that not everyone who feels so casually about RP is a jackass insisting that everyone else better feel the same way, that their way is the only correct and good way. I'm still not interested in writing with them, it's far too different for that to work out, but it allows for delineating who is enjoyable on my dash/OOC that is into casual RP and who needs to stay behind a block somewhere because they think anyone who has RP as a primary hobby is trying to ruin it for them somehow, attacking them by existing, and the following list of terrible things as a person.

I think that all problems in the RPC could be drastically mitigated by a combination of understanding and mutual respect. People who are alright with others treating them like a meme resource absolutely can and should interact with people who don't feel that way without a problem, for example - all that takes is being aware of your mutual's rules and respecting them.

Damn near 100% of the PSAs out there honestly should not ever have to exist, they come down to the same factors of just exercising some easy respect for each other.

Again, the trouble often comes in at those very differing factors we need to be mindful of. When we feel like the weird one out in the RPC constantly, whether something is actually othering us or not, it starts to feel like it is. We start finding reasons and evidence, and much of the time, at least among those whose first inclination isn't to label OP as various terrible shit as a person, that takes the form of "not everyone."

Well, of course, not everyone! But unfortunately, when we are of the minority opinion/experience, we sometimes have to just realize that very thing. It isn't personal, and that while someone has caused issues coming from this side with that difference, we are not for our mutuals, so this isn't about us. We're actually doing the thing the PSA is speaking of by not pushing our preferences on others. If that PSA is just speaking from a place of the majority experience and nothing more, we're just annoyed with it for that reason and nothing else when it comes right down to it. We're just kind of sick of being in the minority opinion on this issue, and now are geared to feel like we're being hounded by most PSAs.

It's not an easy thing to get over or work with, it's not even something that gets to be faultless, but it definitely makes the experience less irritating when we can get to a point of stepping back and analyzing the situation without those emotions intensely in play. Seriously, if I allowed the issues I have with most PSAs out there to be evident by reblogging them with refutations or anger? That's all I'd spend my time doing, that'd be my hobby and not actual RP...and I'd absolutely be the most hated and blocked mun on tumblr in short order no matter how valid my points were. (And, I think, with good reason, I really do not support reblogging that sort of thing with negative commentary.)

What helps? Make your own positive PSA about your experience! Make one of those "reblog if" posts, I have never seen one that says "reblog if...you are alright with your mutuals reblogging memes and aesthetics from you without reblog karma."

I'm being dead serious, I encourage you to do that! It's great when you're of the minority opinion and do something like that because you can literally see not only that you're not alone at all but also that it's made other people feel seen. If you do that, let me know, I'll reblog it, even.

#answered #anonymous #post and ask replies #mun interaction #reblog etiquette #rp problems #tumblr rpc

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asterism343 · 3 years

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maybe it's just me, but i feel like real-world aubrey and serena would get along. they kind of act similarly. feel free to add your own opinions, headcanons, etc.( im having a omori and arc v brainrot at the same time )--that one anon who tried to submit a pfp of omori yuya to you but it didnt work

oh yeah i think i can see that! I would imagine if Serena ran away from Academia, let's say the dimension transport on her Duel Disk was damaged and somehow tossed her into Faraway, right in front of Aubrey. Aubrey would probably be suspicious of this stranger with strange clothes who just...appeared out of thin air and confront her to figure out what her deal is. Maybe after hearing Serena's story Aubrey would realize they're kind of similar and give her a place to stay. Sleepover every night! Dang, it would be so cool to have a fic of that...i might write like a paragraph of it but i don't think i could actually finish it.

by the way, do you want a proper anon nickname? it'd be so cool to have a recurring anon~

oh and one more thing! i have a way you can send me the image! if you have a link to it, send the link but put a space after each period in the url, that way tumblr won't be able to tell it's a link

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evilsnowswan · 4 years

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Who Doesn’t Love a Bad Girl?

Summary: Set in early season 5, this is a shameless kinky piece that’s loosely based on episode 5x02 (the scene in which Andrea confronts Lena in her research lab), making the claim that—if only Andrea had been a little firmer with Lena, nipping her shenanigans in the bud early—the whole disaster of season 5 could have been prevented in its entirety.

Rojascorp with a side of Supercorp and a hint of Superrojascorp.

[Prompted by anon]

Rating: E

AO3: [AO3 Link via reblog (tumblr, pls, fix your sh*t)]

Flying over the city at night, on her way home, Kara listens—not for police sirens, fire trucks, or ambulances; she’s tired and just wants to go back to bed. The city can handle itself for the rest of the night, surely—but for the people who are near and dear to her. Listening to their hearts beat, checking in to make sure everyone she loves is safe and sound before she turns in for the night—it’s like reading her favorite book before bed. It calms her and helps her sleep.

So, hovering in mid-air, high above the sleepless lights of National City, she closes her eyes and feels for them, one by one, ticking them off on the list in her mind. As she does, she can feel her body relax and her heart slow down—that is until there’s only one name left on her list: Lena.

Things between them are… complicated. But some hopelessly stubborn part of her refuses to let go of their friendship; refuses to believe there’s no coming back for them from all this. It’s a small part and growing smaller with every day, every new low blow, but it’s there: spitting and clawing, fighting for survival with a fierceness that has Kara listen for Lena, even when her chest is tight and it’s hard to breathe around the lump in her throat.

It takes her maybe half a second to realize something isn’t right. Lena’s heartbeat is loud—much louder than it should be, given her distance to Cordova Street—and it’s erratic, racing, stuttering, stumbling over itself. Her own heart hammering in her chest, Kara speeds off at once, all thought driven clear from her mind at the distress signal. She’ll be damned if she’ll let her get hurt. No matter what.

“You know that’s what happens, little girl. Bad girls get punished.”

Just outside L-Corp, at Lena’s balcony, Kara stops short. Her eyes are seeing… things, her brain scrambling to make sense of it all and failing.

There’s Lena’s office with the lights still on as usual, and there’s Lena, but she’s not sitting at her desk—not technically, anyway—instead someone else is, with Lena… with Lena draped over their lap, head low and hands and feet barely touching the ground.

“You thought, I’d let you get away with it, hmm?” When she recognizes the voice and the face, Kara nearly drops a few feet in the air, only just catching herself in time before she actually does, a funny feeling in her belly. It’s… it’s her new boss, Andrea Rojas, with a wicked smirk on her face as she brushes Lena’s hair away from her neck, her fingers dancing on Lena’s skin and making her shudder. “Did you?”

“No.”

“What’s that?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Better.” Andrea’s hand is on Lena’s… skirt, rubbing lazy circles, and Kara’s face is on fire. “No, little girl. No, I don’t think I can.”

What—?!

Kara doesn’t know what to do—not with her eyes or hands or… in general. She still doesn’t understand, but what she gets is that she probably shouldn’t be out here—and not in there either.

“Color, Lena?”

There’s a beat. Lena inhales sharply and Kara’s neck prickles.

“Gree—”

And with that and without warning, Andrea’s hand lands on the seat of Lena’s skirt, hitting the right side of her bottom with a firm smack.

Lena gasps, jerking forward—a gasp of pain or surprise and probably both that sends a tiny jolt through Kara—but Andrea’s other hand is keeping her in place, taking hold of her hip and pulling her closer against her. Lena’s heart is beating out of her chest, her breathing ragged and loud—oh, so loud—in Kara’s ears, and Kara has to keep herself from coming to the rescue, trembling fists clenched at her sides.

“You shouldn’t underestimate me, Lena,” Andrea says, bringing her hand down again, striking her left bum cheek. “Do you really think that I don’t know when someone’s trying to steal from me?”

A steady, rhythmic stream of spanks follows the question, alternating from side to side, and Lena squeals, reaching back desperately with her hand in vain attempt to protect herself. “Ow! Andrea, I—”

“Caught trying to steal my technology? How embarrassing for you. What will your shareholders think? Or the world?” It only takes Andrea a second to catch that hand and pin it to the small of Lena’s back, and the punishment for her crimes—crimes that hearing about doesn’t surprise Kara nearly as much as she wishes it did— the punishment continues unabated. “You know, I really thought more of you, Lena.”

Lena whines and Kara feels hot shame trickling down her own spine, uncomfortable and sticky, recalling a time when Astra had—just that once—put her over her knees. But this isn’t that, exactly, and yet Lena is experiencing the same embarrassment, the same shame and guilt, Kara is sure of it, her head bent and face flushed.

Well, good, Kara thinks, taking herself by surprise at the thought. Maybe someone should make her see reason.

“Oh, and I ran diagnostics before you... shattered my lenses. I know how valuable they are to you, how many hours you spend in them—” Andrea continues in steady rhythm, covering Lena’s upended bottom with hard slaps as Lena drums the toes of her heels against the floor and rocks back and forth, fighting to keep nearly completely quiet. “Whatever are you doing in there?”

Lena grits her teeth, and Kara can practically feel the storm brewing in her chest. She struggles to maintain her composure, but Kara sees the tears forming in the corners of her eyes and hears the little cries that escape from her lips in time with the next spanks.

“You’re cut off, you won’t get another pair from me,” Andrea states, pausing, and Lena slumps with relief, then struggles to rise off her knees. Andrea presses her left elbow hard against her back, forcing her back down. “Not so fast. Where do you think you’re going?”

“Ugh, fine, whatever. Come on, Andrea!” Lena struggles against the hold, but she must know it’s futile. Kara does. That’s an iron grip and Lena has no way of breaking it. “Please, let me up.”

Andrea snorts. “That’s cute.” Moving her hand down Lena’s backside, she takes hold of the hem of her skirt and begins to draw it steadily upwards. In doing so, Kara catches her first glimpse of the evidence of just how hard Andrea’s hand has come down on the top of Lena’s thighs already, and her mouth runs dry as she averts her gaze.

She shouldn’t, should she?

“We're only, maybe, halfway through, honey,” Andrea says, delivering two more loud slaps that ring in Kara’s ears. As she lifts her gaze again, she catches Andrea’s smirk and for a second her heart stops, certain she has been spotted, discovered floating far too close for far too long, but then Andrea’s attention is on Lena again, and Kara is sure it’s just her own nerves playing tricks on her.

Andrea leans in and whispers something in Lena’s ear that Kara, still gathering her bearings, doesn’t catch, but that has Lena launch an immediate protest, twisting her body to escape the other woman’s grasp whilst shooting her free arm back in an attempt to push her skirt back down. “Andrea! No, don’t! ... Stop! I don’t want—”

Kara can’t help but be amazed at her fierce resistance. Where has it come from?

“Don’t keep screwing with me,” Andrea growls, the sound hitting Kara square in the chest and making her own heart quiver and jump into her throat. Andrea delivers two sharp slaps squarely on the back of Lena’s exposed thighs, drawing two equally sharp squeals from Lena, and pushes her firmly back into position. “De acuerdo, reinita, hora de hablar.”

Her r’s are rothic, her accent thick, glomming onto Kara’s skin and crawling into every pore, making her suit cling to her body even tighter and her breath come out in a hot puff, visible in the cool night air.

“What have you been up to in my VR, Lena?”

As humiliating as it has to be to have to speak with her head down and her bottom up in the air, Lena answers almost immediately. “Nothing.”

Andrea clucks her tongue.

“It’s none of your business, Andrea!”

Despite her protests, Lena’s skirt continues its upward rise until it’s bunched at her waist. She is wearing a pretty pair of dark blue panties, thin and snug, with an inset panel of light blue lace at the back—wide at the waistband, but narrowing into a pretty point at her bottom cheeks.

“Is that so?” Andrea runs her fingertips lightly over the lace, then resumes the spanking, smacking a struggling Lena hard and fast over her panties. Color is coming up quickly on the skin not covered by the flimsy underwear, and Kara can tell by Lena’s cries that she is feeling it. “We’ll see about that, won’t we, little girl?”

With a defiant grunt, Lena kicks her legs up in an effort to shake away the pain.

“Legs down!” Andrea commands. As soon as Lena has obeyed, she delivers two hard blows across Lena’s thighs just under her panties, creating instant streaks of red across her soft white skin.

Shushing Lena, Andrea keeps going until it’s clear that she has given up trying to wriggle off her lap.

“Ahora,” Kara watches, petrified, as Andrea releases Lena’s arm and pauses just long enough to slip her fingers into the waistband of her panties, pulling them down quickly to reveal her bottom in one smooth movement. “Obsidian Platinum. What aren’t you telling me, Lena? No one at L-Corp seems to have seen you in weeks, and it’s not like you to neglect your responsibilities.”

Lena pleads, then wails, hands flying to her face, so she can hide behind them, and Kara feels something akin to pity and sympathy for her former best friend tug at her heartstrings.

“A little bird told me, you’ve been holed up in that hidden lab of yours.” Andrea looks down at her firm, round bottom for a moment, admiring the lush reds and pinks, before she raises her hand once more and covers it in a dozen or so firm smacks, moving her hand so that every inch receives its fair share. “I know you, Lena. What are you up to?”

Lena is crying hard now, sobbing into her hands.

Andrea delivers a series of—unmistakably—painful slaps to the same spots; the tender skin right where bottom meets thigh. It has to be building a bad burn, judging from the way it makes Lena wail and wiggle, unable to endure the proceedings with any semblance of composure any longer and trying to move away from the merciless hand, but Andrea doesn’t let her escape, finishing off with half a dozen more unrelenting slaps.

“Whatever it is, Lena. It stops now, you hear me!”

“Yes… yes!” Lena scrambles wildly, head thrown back with her next cry. She is choking through her sobs and tears, and, repositioning, Andrea pauses to let her catch her breath, letting her palm rest on Lena’s bottom—which has turned a deep red color, reminding Kara of the apple tree in the garden back home in the fall.

“Oooh! … Please—please,” Lena struggles for breath, trying to bring her hands back, but stopping herself halfway there, grasping the chair instead. “Please, I’ve… had enough. Please stop!”

Andrea looks pensive for a moment, hand ghosting over Lena’s skin and making her shiver. “I think,” she says slowly, drawing out her words like deadly bubblegum, ready to pop. “I think, I’ll be the judge of that—and I believe we aren’t there yet.”

Kara swallows hard against her heart stuck in her throat. She can almost taste Lena’s panic—even when she knows that to be impossible—and the humiliation burns hot in her own abdomen, stirring up its own kind of turmoil inside of her.

The next slap catches Lena on the back of her thighs, just above the knees. “Andrea!” Lena struggles once again to rise off Andrea’s lap, but before she can gain an inch, Andrea has resumed with unimpressed vigor.

Lena yelps and wails, arching her back, her words unintelligible nonsense, slurred by tears and snot.

Two more loud blows falling on already well-punished flesh have to be going through Lena like burning bullets. For another minute or two, her flaming red bottom is covered with good, solid spanks, while she kicks and struggles, until she goes completely limp over Andrea’s lap, her face burning nearly as red as her thighs and bottom.

“Will you be a good girl now?”

Andrea stops, waiting for a reaction that doesn’t come, and surveys the scene, visibly satisfied at the sight of Lena’s raised skirt, her panties on the floor, her deep red bottom across the dark material of her pants, and Lena, who remains in place, sobbing in submission over her knee.

Something tugs at Kara then, dark and feral, warring with the protective instinct lodged in her chest and winning out, as she heaves a heavy breath. There’s something very appealing about Lena like this, spent and pliable, clutching Andrea’s pant leg in one hand and the chair support with the other, letting her tears fall freely, and Kara has to resist the temptation to fly in there, scoop her up, and tenderly kiss her burning cheeks.

“Alright, up with you now.”

Her chest goes tight with longing as Andrea strokes Lena’s back gently. She puts her hand on her shoulder, guides her upright, and checks her tear-streaked face, brushing at a streak of black mascara on her cheek with her thumb, before she pulls her into her lap, bringing her close, and lets her finish her cry in her arms, with her head resting against her chest.

“Shhh, Lenita, shh.”

Lena slowly calms down and eventually stops crying, but her body still heaves, and, whispering into her hair, Andrea wraps her arms tighter around her and kisses the crown of her head. “I got you, corazón. I got you.”

#rojascorp #supercorp #rojascorp fanfic #supercorp fanfic #lena luthor #andrea rojas #kara danvers #my fic #fic: who doesn't love a bad girl?#fix it post #tumblr keeps messing with the prompt one

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fearfulkittenwrites · 4 years

Text

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

Summary:Duke runs into trouble during his daytime patrol, and ends up needing some back up. The resident over-productive insomniac bat picks up the call.

(A little bit of Tim and Duke interaction for a nice tumblr Anon :) I hope you like it!)

Link for it on AO3, if you prefer it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963561

TW: Mentions blood and injuries. Also gangs, but not for long. Nothing too graphic.

Word count: 2345

Notes: Hello! Once again, I don't know much about Duke (or Tim tbh, I know more about Dick, Damian and Cass when it comes to the batfam), so I hope I didn't butcher the characterization! I really love him as a character, and the more I read on Signal, the more I fall in love with him.

“Uuuh, guys?” Duke said into his comm, watching as a car was thrown over his head and crashed into a building “I think I’m gonna need backup. Is anyone available?”

“On my way.” A voice answered.

Duke wasn’t sure on which of the boys it was; telling their voices apart was hard in normal situations, but with the chaos that had just been unleashed on the streets of Gotham, it was damn near impossible. Oh well. He had bigger problems to deal with at the moment.

Such as the gang who had brought a meta human to a gun fight.

The Signal turned around, looking at the man, about the size of a trailer. He had to crane his neck to stare at his face.

“Man,” He sighed “Why can’t I have one normal patrol?” He dodged the meta’s fist as it smashed through the asphalt, opening a hole next to where the hero was standing “Just one. One normal day, is that too much to ask?” He climbed the man’s arm, trying to reach his neck and hold him down, but soon felt a big hand grabbing his thigh “Fuck. Bad idea.”

The meta lauched Signal to the nearest brick wall, before roaring and flipping over a bus. Duke hoped it was empty. He let his head drop, helmet knocking on the floor with a small ‘tick’, and breathed heavily, trying to recover. He groaned in pain, and the hit must’ve turned his communicator on, seeing as his backup became a little worried.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening? Where are you, Signal?” Red Robin’s voice came through the comm. Duke saw his brother looking for him as he glided to the ground.

“Over here.” He answered, raising a hand.

“Found you.” He said, smiling “Tired already, Signal?” He teased, landing next to him.

“You try being tossed into a wall the next time.”

“Been there. Not fun.” The hero offered him a hand “Here.” Tim helped him up, pulling him into a quick greeting hug “You alright there, bro?”

“Yeah.” Duke stretched his back “This armor is pretty good, huh?”

“Of course it is, I taught Batman all I know.” They both laughed at that “But seriously, that looks like a major hit. Do you need to head home?”

“Nah, I’m fine. Besides, I don’t think you could do this alone anyways.” He teased.

“Yeah, yeah.” Tim pushed him away slightly “So, tell me what’s going on.”

“Two gangs had set up a gun fight. Reasons behind it are unclear. One of them had a meta under their belt, but things got a little out of hand, and now...” He pointed at the scene as the big guy kept throwing things around “Now we have a very angry, not very chatty, huge meta trashing around the neighborhood.”

“And the gangs?”

“Bolted.”

“Classic.” Red Robin grunted, turning his bo staff around “Let’s go.”

They rushed into battle.

“Hey, ugly!” The Signal yelled, making him look at his direction “Won’t you tell us your name?” The guy roared again “Okay, fine! Come and get it then!”

The man was slower than both of them, giving Red Robin more than enough time to hit him over the head with his staff as Duke distracted him. He barely stumbled, turning around angryly. Tim raised an eyebrow, evading his random punches easily and using his staff to try and poke at his face while Duke wrapped a disconnected eletric cable around his neck, forcing him down.

“Yeah, bet you’re not so glad you knocked down those eletric posts now, huh?” The Signal teased, grunting from the effort as the guy trashed around. Red Robin grabbed one end of the cable, and with both of their strenghts, they managed to knock down the other guy.

“Good thinking.” Tim complimented, tapping on his yellow partner’s back, shallow breaths coming from his mouth.

“Thanks.” Duke’s breathing was the same as his “I think I might need to go home now.”

“Yeah.” Tim huffed out a laugh “The cops are on their way. Let’s tie this big guy up and roll.”

...

Duke hissed as he inspected his bruises in the mirror, pulling off his armor. They didn’t seem as painful as they felt; his dark skin hid the bruises pretty well, but the pain was definetly there.

“Hey, Duke are you...” Tim knocked on his door, entering his bedroom, getting a clear view of his brother in his batroom. He still had his Red Robin uniform on “Nevermind. You are bleeding from your back.” He pointed.

“I am?” He asked, trying to twist his body so he could check it, but the movement stretched the wound, sending a piercing pain through his body. He supported himself on his sink.

“Okay, bad move.” Tim said “Hang on, let me help.” He walked towards the boy, grabbing a towel and putting pressure on it “You might wanna sit down.” He leaded him to the toilet, and Duke rested his head against the wall. Tim sat on the floor.

“How did I not notice it?”

“It’s the adrenaline.” Tim explained “Don’t beat yourself up over it. I passed out from the blood loss once, not even realizing I had a huge wound on my thigh.” He laughed.

“That’s a little terrifying, man.”

“Eh.” He shrugged “You get used to it.” Duke let out shaky breaths, in pain “Just a little longer, okay?” Tim tried to comfort his brother.

“Yeah, alright.” Duke grunted, grinding his teeth.

“Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay.” Tim shushed him as he applied a little more pressure “Juuust need to stop the bleeding... Almost there...” He whispered, stretching out some words.

“You don’t have to baby me, Tim.” Duke laughed.

“I’m sorry. I’m not exactly great at this.” Tim said “I’d call Dick, but he had a rough patrol last night and is currently passed out.”

“That’s good. He hasn’t slept properly in days.” Duke hissed in pain again “But what about you? Did you get any sleep?”

“Ahm... I had coffee.”

“That’s not the same.”

“I know.” Tim sighed “But I had stuff to do.”

“Still, you need to rest.”

“Hey, be thankful that I was awake!” Tim said “If I didn’t had to finish that essay, no one would’ve picked up your call.”

“Yeah, okay.” Duke laughed “Thanks for the help.”

“It’s nothing.” Tim dismissed, smiling “I was just being an ass because I know that you’re right. I just really hate having to sleep, y’know? I could do so much with that time.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Duke nodded.

“Okay, you stopped bleeding.” Tim said, pulling the towel away “But I think you might need some stitches.”

“Damn.” Duke whispered, forehead against the cold white tiles on the wall.

“It’s alright. I can do that for you.” He offered “Again, I’m no Dick, but I can make a decent suture.”

“You sure?”

Tim huffed in disbelieve.

“Yes I’m sure I can make a decent suture!”

“No,” Duke chuckled “I mean as in are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Oh.” Tim blinked “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I?” He got up, taking Duke’s first aid kit from his cabinet “You’re my brother.”

Duke swallowed.

“Yeah,” He murmured “I keep forgetting that.”

Tim laughed a little, picking up a washcloth and soaking it in water.

“That’s alright. It took me quite a while to get used to this, but...” He kneeled, using the soft cloth to clean around the wound, trying to get most of the blood out “Once you do, it becomes natural. Trust me.” He ran more water through the towel, wringing the blood out and getting it wet again, repeating the cleaning process “I know this is uncomfortable, sorry. I’m almost done, I swear.”

“Uhum.” He grunted, nodding.

Tim got up again, picking up an antiseptic spray.

“This might sting a little too.” He warned as he applied the solution to the wounded flesh “Okay, that should do it.” Tim went over to the sink one more time, picking up an anesthetic cream “I’m not trying anything injectable because I’m afraid of messing with those. But trust me, this one helps just fine.”

“Alright then.” Duke felt his brother’s fingers moving around the wound, spreading the substance on his skin.

“Let’s wait a little for the effects to start, and then I’ll stitch you up.” Tim sat down behind him, the needle ready.

“Hey man, thanks for doing this.” Duke said “I didn’t mean to be a trouble, but...”

“No. Shut up.” Tim scolded him “You’re my little brother and I take care of you. You’re no trouble Duke.”

The teen swallowed, looking at his own reflection in the shiny wall.

“Well... Thank you anyways.”

“You’re very welcome. But don’t act like this is anything but normal.” Tim answered.

“I mean, I think having a cut on your back from being tossed around like a rag doll by a man twice the size of a regular human isn’t exactly normal.” Duke chuckled.

“Considering the family you’re in now, this is entirely too normal.” Tim laughed with him “Worryingly so.”

“What were you going to ask me when you came in here?” Duke said.

“Oh.” Tim blushed a little “It’s kinda silly compared to this. I’m gonna start the stitches by the way.”

“I’m sure it’s not. And yeah, go ahead.”

“I just... I know that you really enjoy reading and you are really intelligent, so I was wondering if you could proofread my essay for me? You don’t have to, of course, but considering how I wrote it during a caffeine induced high...” He cut himself off, starting to sew his brother shut.

“Of course I can.” Duke said “When do you need to turn it in?”

“... Today. In like, five hours.” Tim blushed.

“How many pages?”

“Seven.”

“Okay.” Duke nodded “I can do that.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Duke smiled.

“Alright, I’m almost done, I swear.” Tim said “By the way, I won’t put any bandages now because I know you’ll take a shower, but don’t try to do it on your own, okay? Head over to my room and I’ll do it for you. Otherwise, you might tear up those stitches and I will get pissed.”

“Fine.” Duke laughed.

“That’s it.” Tim looked at the suture “I think it might be my best work.”

“Thanks dude.” Duke got up “I’ll head over to your room in five.”

“Thanks.” Tim smiled, leaving the room.

Duke carefully examined the stitches in the mirror. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Tim had done a great job, but seeing yourself in such a state is unsettling. At least it was on his back, which made it harder for him to set his gaze upon it. It wasn’t all that big, and he hoped that he’d heal quickly as he hoped in the shower.

A little while later, he made his way to Tim’s bedroom, wearing black sweatpants, carrying an orange t-shirt in his hand.

“Hey,” He knocked on the open door “I hope this isn’t a problem, but everytime I tried to put on a t-shirt the stitches pulled in a weird way, so can you help me with that too?”

“Yeah, sure.” Tim answered from his computer. Duke noticed he still had his gear on “Come in, sit on the bed, back turned to me please.” He rolled away in his chair, picking up his own medical kit and an ice pack that he tossed in his brother’s direction “For the bruises on your torso.” Duke sat down as instructed, pressing the ice against his collarbone and shoulder.

Tim worked silently, spraying more antisseptic and covering the wound with gauze.

“Alright, all done.” He said “Listen, you must be tired.” Tim started “You don’t have to do this, you can go rest. I’ll be fine.”

“No man, c’mon. You said it yourself, we’re brothers.” He got up, leaning over Tim’s desk “It’s no trouble at all.” He began reading through the pages. Duke didn’t understand exactly what the essay was about, but he was able to pick up on some minor mispellings and fixed some hard to read sentences.

“-tt-” Damian clicked his tongue from the door, examining the duo with cold eyes “Can’t do your own papers by yourself, Drake?” The kid still had his school uniform on.

“Shut up, brat.” Tim answered.

Duke noticed Damian’s expression lacked the usual sparkle. He wondered if it simply meant he was tired or if it meant something else. Something worse. The kid clicked his tongue again.

“Whatever. Where is Grayson?”

“Sleeping.” Tim answered “Why, what do you want?”

“It’s none of your business Drake.” He crossed his arms, leaving.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” Duke murmured.

“Eh, could be worse.” Tim said “And don’t worry, the fact that he didn’t insult you means he’s warming up to you just fine.”

“Weird way to show that.” Duke raised an eyebrow.

“He is weird.” Tim shrugged “Pull a chair for yourself, or you’ll be standing for a long time.”

Duke did as he was told. And as he kept picking apart his brother’s work, pointing out his mistakes and explaining to him how to fix those, Duke felt at peace. Like he had some normalcy back in his life, for once. It wasn’t ideal. He still wished his parents could come back to him, still wished he could get back the life he once had, still wished none of what happened had happened.

But right now, he felt good, and he decided to focus on that feeling. Because he had a family. It wasn’t a perfect family. It wasn’t the one that he’d pick. But it was the one he had, and it was one that wanted him. One that appreciated him, and that wasn’t afraid of asking for his help when needed, but also offered him help when he would forget the he needs it too.

For the first time in a long time, the fear of being alone and helpless faded.

It was nothing but background noise in a very loud, love-filled life.

#Duke Thomas #Tim Drake #Tim Drake & Duke Thomas #Tim & Duke #The Signal #Red Robin #hurt/comfort #batfamily #batboys #batbros #BatFam #batman bingo #batman bingo 2020 #fanfic #fanfiction #writing

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kerwritesthings · 5 years

Note

27, 54 :)

I wasn’t going to post this today. Last story I posted yesterday I’m still trying to push on since it’s still hanging out there in the wind & wasn’t feeling too motivated after that. But I had a really bad fuck of a moment at the end of the day and then this adorable bean decided to insta story pretty much at the same time. So, et voila we’re going with it.

This took a TURN, dear anon. I know it’s soft & fluffy prompts, and we’ll get to it. There’s a bit up at the front, it’s just a little bit of a journey to get to it at the end. I also didn’t expect this to be almost 2.8k. Ooopsies?

Prompts: “You have me to protect you, always.” AND “I will protect you with my life.”

Being on tour with Shawn is one thing. Being on tour with Shawn overseas though is another. It’s always an experience, but for this run it’s especially more than it’s ever been before. You’ve yet to experience a swing outside Canada, the States and Europe. With the last album already exceeding expectations and touring blowing up across the board, the tour went wider and longer than he’s ever done before. Which means in some cities, it’s multiple dates and even more so, graduating to stadiums.

“Excuse me what?!” you yell, looking at the “tickets” he’s placed in your hand. The sentimental fluff he is, had mockup concert tickets made to give you when he told you about Tokyo.

“Me, you, Japan. Gyoza, ramen, carousel sushi, mochi, bubble tea, and yeah playing what they’re telling me should be a sold-out Tokyo Dome,” he replies with a coy smile.

“Holy shit Shawn,” you exclaim as you tackle hug him. “That’s like what 50,000 plus? Sweetie, that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.”

It was months away, but you both take to sending each other links to places you’d want to try, or photos of what Tokyo looks like in the spring. You specifically asking for photos of the two of you wandering through the cherry blossoms. You were meeting him there this go. He’s coming into town off the Australia and southeast Asian swing, with Tokyo being the final show to wrap things up before a break. And it wasn’t one show, he sold out two. There was still Latin and South America, but that was after the holidays and nothing to worry about yet.

The energy in the Dome is intense, electric and nothing like you have experienced at any of his shows before. Everything was a glow, every single one of the fans in the seats singing along. You head side stage to where you’ve grown to watching most shows you’re on the road for.

“Something else, eh?” Cez asks loudly to get over the crowd, throwing an arm around your shoulders and drawing you into his side.

You nod, your voice caught in your throat. You’re fighting back being this emotional, but this is unbelievable and that Rockstar up on stage? You get to call him yours.

Cez squeezes you tighter, “I know kiddo, I know. I still get that way even after being with him for this long. Come on, let’s go to the pit for the run.”

You follow, making sure your earplugs are securely in place. The roar is going to be deafening when he hits the straightaway. What you didn’t expect was for him to stop at the end, snag you around the waist, twirl you with a kiss before his usual heading back up for the rest of the finale.

“That’s so going to end up on Tumblr,” you scream at him as he sets you down, and you spy Connor laughing from behind the camera. He caught it all.

“Good, gifs abound showing how much I fucking love you,” he yells back, kissing you one more time before dashing back up to stage.

It takes forever to get through the folks who needed to say hello after the show, you saw him starting to wane after the third massive group that was being ushered into the green room. You caught Cez’s eye, nodding over towards Shawn.

He mouths on it to you and bless him, makes the group filter through quickly. As soon as they’re gone and the door is closing behind them, he collapses on the couch pulling you down next to him, head tipping into your shoulder.

“Hey Rockstar,” you whisper, kissing his temple.

“Mmmm, hi baby. Thank you for being here for here. Means everything,” he sighs, cuddling down into you.

“Always. It’s me and you versus the world, right? Hasn’t changed. Won’t change,” you reply, pressing a longer lingering kiss to his skin. “Go shower. Go change. I’ll even wait in your room for you. Then we’ll head back. Me, you, room service and that pretty piece of silk we found at the night market.”

“Yes please,” he murmurs, kissing you slowly, sweetly like it’s the only thing he wants to do.

“Off with you,” you nudge him up and push him towards the door. His hand reaches for yours immediately, lacing his fingers in tightly with yours.

Finally, when he is done and his team has been told that things have seem to be a bit calmer outside, you start to make your way towards the sprinter van.

“I need you two to hold on to each other, and to me if you can. More importantly to stay close to us,” Jake explains seriously pointing between him and Big Eddie, who was here in Tokyo for the last few days with the team. “We have to do a straight shot to the car. Still too many folks to stop kid, I’m sorry but I can’t risk it. Not with the missus with you.”

You’re not even engaged yet, but since moment one of meeting Jake, he’s taken to calling you the missus. You both nod, Shawn taking a hold of your hand tightly. “I got you,” he whispers.

It’s a crowd like you’ve ever seen post-show before. It’s seas of people on both sides of the barricades. The roar comes once they see him. It’s a swell.

“Fuck, this is not what calm should look like,” Jake mutters. “We’re running. Go go go.”

You tighten your grip on his hand. Jake’s in front, a hold on Shawn, then you with Eddie’s one hand on your shoulder. You somehow hear the metal clatter to the ground and the plastic cracking before you see the people start spilling over and reaching for all of you.

“Shit,” you hear, not sure who it was from, but you’re being pushed forward. The jostling makes you lose your grip on Shawn’s hand first, then the next thing you know people are getting their way in between you and you don’t feel Eddie at your back any longer. You try not to panic, but it’s a sea of complete strangers. You think about calling out for Jake or Eddie. Names that would stand out in the sea of fans’ clamoring. It’s not worth it to even try calling out for Shawn, the crowd is boisterous and already chanting his name. It only takes a few moments before someone realizes who you are. You think about pulling out your phone, but you know it would be a lost cause. You just need to try to keep pushing your way forward. You start to get pulled at, pushed back and forth and it’s hard at this point to not start tearing up. You keep trying to move towards what you think is the direction you were going in in the first place.

At the same time, Shawn is losing his shit inside the van.

“Jake, I don’t fucking care about my own damn safety right now, she’s out there in this shitstorm, and out there in this shitstorm alone,” he yells. “Let me out of here, I need to find her. I told her I had her, Jake. Fuck, I need to get to her.”

“Kid I get it, but you’re not going out there. We’ve got the whole damn team and some of the arena folks weeding through the crowd to get to her,” Jake tries to state calmly. “I can’t let you out there. Hell, I can’t leave you alone in here to go find her myself. You know that’s not safe.”

“Not good enough, if she’s not back in 5, hell in 2. I don’t care Jake; I’ll pop out the damn sunroof if I have to,” he replies, pulling at his hair. “If I promise not to move, stay here, will you go out there? Jake please, I trust you. She trusts you. I just, I can’t just sit here and not do everything I can for her.”

Jake wipes his face with his hand, “You don’t move a muscle you hear me? I’m locking you in the damn car to boot, so no climbing and going through the roof like you threatened.”

“Yes, I promise,” he nods, his eyes still wild from the adrenaline. “Jake, please just find her.”

Jake quickly slides the door open to duck out, locking it behind him.

He doesn’t know how long it’s been, maybe 4 or 5 minutes since Jake left, but it’s feeling like a lifetime. He keeps checking his phone, but he knows there’s no way if you’re lost in this that it’s not worth it to pull out your phone. There are three quick heavy knocks on the van door that has him shifting back against the opposite side. He’s not sure what’s going on. The driver’s side door opens first with the driver shifting into the seat, then Eddie opens the sliding door letting Jake in with you in his arms before slamming it shut behind him.

“Ok time to get gone,” Jake says to the driver as he slides you into Shawn’s hold. “She’s ok, shaken up for sure, rattled and she probably won’t be wearing that shirt again. She said no one went after her, couple folks started tugging a bit harder than normal once they figured out who she was. But nothing bruised, broken or cut from what I can see or what she said. Was a good thing she threw her hair up after the show. I spotted that pineapple bun of hers in the sea of people. Got to her quickly after that.”

“Baby,” he says pulling you into him tightly, burying his face into your hair at first, then your neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’m here now, I’m right here.”

You’re shaking, cold from the crash of emotions, adrenaline dissipating. You can’t help but start sniffing and holding onto him snugly, wrapping around him like a vine. He was warm and comfort and love, all you really want or need at the moment.

“Call Cez and Andrew, anything that was planned or thought about for the next couple days before we go back to Toronto that has anything to do with work is off the table. That’s not up for debate,” his voice hard. “This also cannot happen again. Ever. That was utter bullshit. They had nothing under control, and that’s a risk I’m not willing to take. This is my family and I’m not having it. I’ll call Louis myself if I have to, this…”

He trails off, the crash starting to hit on his side and the tears start to slowly fall.

“I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you sweetheart, I’m not going to let something like that ever happen again,” he bites out, trying not to cry harder. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry. You’re my everything, you know that yeah? You have me to protect you, always. I will protect you with my life.”

“He tried to fight me to get to you,” Jake chimes in quietly as the van speeds its way back to the hotel. “I just couldn’t let him. But this boy, he was ready to take me if he had to. He’d lay it out and down for you. I’m sorry too, missus. This shouldn’t have been the way this went down. We’ll make sure of it. You’re as much as my responsibility as this kid is, and…”

“’S not your fault,” you croak out, still leaning heavily into Shawn. “Any of you. Crowd control means different things everywhere, especially at a venue that size, and who knew the barricades were going to snap and break. It’s not ok that they basically lied to the team though, that’s what I’m angry about. I’m ok though, shaky and in desperate need of a shower and some sleep, but not broken, not cracked. Maybe just a little worse for wear.”

Shawn wraps you up tighter, “Whatever you need tonight, baby.”

Once you’re back in the hotel, Jake safely deposits the both of you into Shawn’s room. It’s dark and quiet and you just stand in the bedroom holding each other there for a few minutes.

“Shower with me?” you ask, shifting yourself against him tightly again. “Please?”

“Let me call down for some tea first? You go get the water warm,” he whispers against the top of your head.

“Hot chocolate? With Baileys and marshmallows?” you volley back, a half smile trying to creep up your lips.

“Of course, whatever’s gonna make you feel better tonight,” he squeezes you again, before nudging you towards the bathroom. “I’ll let you steal my Leafs shirt too.”

You finally exhale fully once you’re in the bathroom. You didn’t realize you had been holding your breath that long. Or at least that’s what it was feeling like. Setting the shower a little warmer than normal, you quickly strip everything off, tossing it into the corner to deal with later. Stepping under the rainfall showerhead, you start to feel everything just sliding away, tension, the dirt, your fears. Quickly you start to wash off head to toe. You didn’t realize you had started to cry until you heard his feet splash the water against the tile behind you.

“Baby,” he half sighs half cries out, before sliding under the water to press you against him. “Let it go, let it all out. Go head, I’m here. You’re safe, pretty girl. it’s just you and me.”

You feel him start to let his emotions out as well, shaky breaths giving him away. You both stay like that, fusing together until the water starts to cool, but it’s worth it for the feeling a little semblance of getting yourself back together. Both of you.

“Let’s go get into bed with your boozy cocoa yeah?” he asks, lips against your forehead.

As he bundles you up in a towel, you realize for the first time he’s yet to kiss you kiss you since everything. You’re not sure if it’s a conscious decision, part of you thinks it is. You watch him for a moment as he towels off his hair, another balancing precariously low on his hips. He catches you, his lips trying to quirk up into a smile but it’s not quite there. He beckons you closer and you go without question.

He takes a fresh towel to blot at your hair, carefully sopping as much of the moisture away as he could.

“Can I ask you something?” you ask carefully. “You realize you haven’t really kissed me since before we walked out of the venue earlier? Not like you, baby.”

He lays the towel he was using for your hair across your shoulders, flipping the damp tresses out from underneath it. He looks intently at you for a moment before his right palm comes up to cup your cheek, thumb carefully swiping back and forth across your skin. “I couldn’t, I just…” he started before his breath caught for a minute. “I couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you. It wouldn’t have happened in the first place if you weren’t here with me.”

“Hey, hey, none of that,” you say, pressing a finger across his lips. “Accidents happen. They suck. Yes, and this one, it was scary and all that shit, but it’s done. It’s over. Can you please kiss me now? Please Shawn?”

He kisses the pad of your finger, his other hand coming up to rest against your other cheek. He draws you in closer, tilting his forehead down to rest against yours. He starts slowly, softly. A whisper of a kiss across your lips, almost so light you don’t feel it at first. Then a stronger of a press before pulling away, nuzzling your nose with his. “I love you,” he whispers before letting go and really kissing you. It’s bruising, deep and wet; his tongue relentless. He’s letting everything he’s felt through this all out in this kiss. When he pulls away, you sling your arms around his waist to hold him. You head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat in your ears.

“This wasn’t your fault,” you remind him, pressing your lips against his chest. “Sweetheart, I’m here. I’m ok. We’ll take care of the logistical clusterfuck tomorrow. But for now, what I’d like? Since you said anything I need tonight. I want, I need you to love me Shawn. That’s all I’ll ever want from you, is your love.”

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes story #soft fluffy prompts

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discoursecatharsis · 5 years

Text

I’ve gotten more than one anon ask from a teenager, paranoid that they’re a pedophile or a predator for crushing on a peer 2-3 years younger than them. Because anti-shippers/fandom purity police constantly use the term “pedophile” for ships between teens 2-3 years apart, it’s no wonder why real teens are confused and terrified. So I wanted to make a post with proper definitions of these terminologies and link to some sources, so that maybe it’ll reassure some other poor teen out there that it’s perfectly fine for them to crush on their schoolmate.

First I’m going to get this out of the way: I’m talking about crushing and dating and having a romantic relationship. Sex between a legal adult (18 and up) and a legal minor (17 and down) could be illegal depending on the age of consent where you live, and any Romeo and Juliet laws that may or may not be in place. That’s way more complicated, so I won’t be touching on teenage relationships where sex is involved. While I’m on this subject though, a quick PSA: if you’re under 18, do not take/send nudes at all. You could be charged with child pornography for “self-producing” your own nudes. As dumb as that sounds, it happens. I don’t agree with courts that do it, punishing hormonal teenagers for having hormones is dumb, but it still happens. It’s not worth it, don’t do it.

One more thing: I’m talking about relationships between peers in the same age group. Between two young adults, adolescents, or teenagers. Note that there is some overlap between these groups (i.e. 15 year old is a teenager and an adolescent but not an adult, while an 18 year old is all three, while a 20 year old is only a young adult). I’m not justifying age gaps that are obviously wrong and illegal, like a 30 year old and a 14 year old, so please do not put words in my mouth.

Moving on to the topic at hand...

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If the only “concerning” thing about a relationship is a minimal age gap between two peers in the same age group, the relationship is probably okay.

The existence of an age gap alone does not make someone a pedophile or predator or child groomer. Intent needs to involved. Ill intent. Along with other abusive, predatory, manipulative behaviors.

---

Let’s break down some of these terms further:

A pedophile is attracted to prepubescent children. If the younger party in the relationship is not prepubescent, the older person is not a pedophile.

Here is the criteria for being a pedophile, as defined by the American Psychiatric Association.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/pedophilia

If there is less than a 5 year age gap between teens (i.e. a 15 year old and a 19 year old), there is probably not an issue.

If however, for example, an 18 year old is attracted to someone who’s 13 and still prepubescent, there may be an issue there and the older teen should seek help or talk to someone about it. This doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. If they haven’t hurt anyone, they’ve done nothing wrong. It may just be a disorder that they have no control over, so that’s why it’s a good idea to seek help for it.

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Moving away from “pedophilia” now. What about people who prey on (i.e. are intentionally seeking to harm) teens who are post-pubescent? That person is not a pedophile, but they are a predator or a child groomer.

Which leads to the next point, what are some examples of “ill intent” when it comes to predatory relationships? What exactly is a predator or a child groomer?

This site lists the definition of grooming, along with some red flag behaviors.

https://www.d2l.org/child-grooming-signs-behavior-awareness/

First I want to point out the word “deliberate.” You can’t accidentally groom someone, like I’ve seen multiple fandom police claim. Posting properly tagged and flagged nsfw fanart on a public forum like tumblr or twitter that allows nsfw content is NOT grooming. Grooming is a deliberate act. It involves intent. If an adult is sending private DMs of nsfw sexual fanart to a minor that they KNOW to be a minor, that is completely inappropriate and grooming behavior. Same goes for any nsfw sexual talk, like an adult having a nsfw rp chat with a minor, that’s wrong too. But simply posting/liking/sharing nsfw fandom content on a public website is not grooming.

That link has a longer list of red flag behaviors, along with examples, but here are three I want to especially point out.

A lot of these sites seem to write their info with the focus on young children being groomed, going by the language they use (”child’s natural curiosity”). But teenagers can definitely be groomed also, in the same ways. If an older partner is taking advantage of a vulnerable teen due to an abusive home life, or trying to isolate them from their family and friends, or overstepping any emotional/physical/sexual boundaries, that teen is very likely in a dangerous situation and needs to confide in a trusted friend, and eventually in a trusted adult, about it.

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I also wanted to share this source as well, just as a general example of other signs of abuse in a relationship. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has a chart that lists common behavior patterns of an abusive, manipulative partner.

https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

This chart uses the example of a male abuser and a female victim, but they have another page and chart for lgbt+ relationships.

As their site says, this can apply to anyone. Age, gender, sexual orientation, it doesn’t matter, anyone is capable of being an abuser or being a victim. Notice how this has similar tactics as the child predator/groomer red flag list too, such as isolation.

Also notice the different manipulative behaviors in this chart. This chart is just a good rule of thumb for red flags in any kind of relationship, be it sexual, romantic, platonic or familial.

Here is another source that lists more red flag behaviors, but more specifically for teenage relationships.

https://www.teendvmonth.org/resources/signs-teen-dating-violence/

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With that in mind, here are some hypothetical scenarios. Let’s use a specific example of a 18 year old high school senior (12th grade) dating a 15 year old high school sophomore (10th grade).

This relationship could be bad if the senior is using the sophomore for their own personal gain. Taking advantage of the fact that the younger person is inexperienced when it comes to dating, and using that fact to manipulate them into a relationship. Maybe the senior isolates the sophomore from their family and friends, makes them feel guilty for wanting to hang out with friends, makes them quit their after-school sports activities or forces them to cancel plans with friends so that they can spend more time together. Maybe the older teen controls how they dress or what they do, or makes them do things that they’re uncomfortable with. All of those are signs of an abusive relationship. If the older teen doesn’t care about the younger teen or about their feelings and is just using them, obviously that is an unhealthy, abusive relationship. (*It’s important to note though, that this exact thing can happen between two people of the same age too. A partner who’s the same age as you can also be controlling and abusive. It can happen with friendships too, it doesn’t have to be limited to dating relationships.)

On the other hand, this senior/sophomore relationship very well could be a perfectly healthy one too. Maybe they are in the same after-school club and bonded through that. Maybe they’ve already known each other and have been friends for years, maybe their families are friends, etc. And they’ve recently started crushing on each other and decided to date. As long as they respect each other, it’s fine.

That’s why you need to know what is going on in a relationship before you judge. An age gap by itself is not proof enough that a relationship is bad or abusive or predatory. One of the partners needs to have ill-intent, and exhibit these abusive red flag behaviors.

---

So to sum up everything, if the ONLY thing in a relationship is that there is an age gap, but both people are otherwise peers and in the same age group/range, and none of the above red flags are present, your relationship is fine and you have nothing to worry about. You know you’re a good person, your partner is a good person, you have family and friends supporting the both of you, you care about and respect each other, then you’re fine.

You’re not a pedophile or a predator or any awful thing like that. Remember, those are deliberate acts and involve ill-intent. Please don’t let fandom police scare you. They’re internet strangers, they know NOTHING about you or your personal life or your relationships or your home life or your upbringing or your family and friends. They’re judging you based solely on the fact that there’s an age gap, and nothing else. They have nothing to go by. They’re not trying to educate others on healthy or unhealthy relationship dynamics. They’re just instilling fear in people to back up their own moral superiority or ship war or whatever tf is driving them to be like That and spread misinformation and make inaccurate generalizations. And they don’t seem to realize or care how dangerous it is that they’re telling teens that they’re predators when they’re not. They don’t care about victims. If they did, they’d be spreading helpful advice, but instead they’re just spreading fear and misinformation. Please stop listening to them. And please for all that is good, don’t take advice from them. Talk to adults in your personal life, if not a parent, then an older cousin or an aunt or uncle or teacher or counselor. Or Google it and find reputable sources for yourself. That is much more reliable than taking advice from people who throw around the word “pedophile” to describe a ship between two teenage anime characters. People need to use common sense and look at relationships on a case-by-case basis. And anti-shippers/fandom purity police are unable to do that.

To fandom police: stop telling teenagers that they’re a predator or pedophile for dating their schoolmate who’s two years younger than them. It’s none of your business, and don’t give me that “but if they’re hurting themselves or others, I need to say something” BS. You’re a stranger, you do not know their personal lives. You know nothing about what is going on except that an age gap is involved, that’s it, and that is not enough to jump to such a drastic conclusion and serious accusation. It’s not your place because you don’t know their life or their situation. Also frankly, it’s damn weird and highly inappropriate for you to be inserting yourselves into the personal lives of some random teenager on the internet that you don’t know (especially if you’re an adult). You think shippers are gross for “being invested in the love lives of fictional teens,” yet here you are trying to control the love lives of real life teens. Please get some perspective.

Edit: Another point I forgot to mention, so I’m tacking this onto the end.

Stop acting like all teens x-years-old are the exactly same as every other teen who is also x-years-old. “I’m 18 and I would NEVER date a 15 year old because they’re practically a baby and I’m such a mature adult already and-” Good for you, you want a cookie? Repeat after me: not everyone is the same as you. One 18 year old might be socially awkward but nice and with no dating experience at all, and would fair well with dating a 15 year old who also is in their first relationship. Another 18 year old might be really responsible for their age due to circumstances in their family life, and are fully capable of handling themselves and dating a 21 year old college classmate. Everyone is different. Two people of different ages may just “click” with each other, they’re on the same wavelength, or they have similar experiences, etc. Just because you personally wouldn’t date someone 2-3 years younger/older than yourself doesn’t mean 1) that it’s wrong, or 2) that others wouldn’t be okay with it for their own personal (and valid) reasons.

Again: it is not your business to interfere with an internet stranger’s personal life and relationships when the only thing you have to go off of is “there’s an age gap.” I’m begging y’all, please look at this with the nuance that it deserves. It is not black-and-white, and your black-and-white thinking is really messing up teenagers and making them feel bad about completely normal and healthy age-appropriate crushes or desires to date someone else.

#throwing salt #sources #resources #i haven't made a post in so long i forget what other tags I used

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tyranttortoise · 5 years

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*I answered a bunch of general asks, so I’m going to stick them under a cut and save your dash!

They’re green. ;D

Ah, it was flagged, and I didn’t realize. I got put it up for review and it's back now! Here’s a link, so you don’t have to dig.

@what-is-fanart-even AHHH, I’m excited to see you’re still around!! =D I’m glad you’re almost caught up! Oh man, I love whenever Red wears rings, but I don’t think I’ve ever specifically written him with them in SSLL? I know he did in BPT. Either way, I’m so here for Red with rings, especially those gaudy gold ones with stones in them and shit. Hell yeah.

@torrikor I dug through the askbox and found both of them! ;D Thank you so much for sending all this positivity my way! I’m happy to be back around, and I’m so stoked that you enjoyed the new chapter! I love youuuu, and I’m in your DMs, so I’m going to keep this short and sweet by saying I’m so happy you’re still active on here and just as sweet as ever! ♡

@anon Thank you so much for this nice comment! You honestly touched me by calling me strong; I needed to hear that! I’m glad to be back, and I hope I’ll see you in my askbox again soon! =D

@tails-and-scales I’m living for those squeals -- and so excited that you got hype! ;D

@butterscotch-hearts I like to come in with random 11,000 word updates that hopefully won’t be so random anymore. ;D Bomb ass new decade is right; 2020 is the Year of the Tortoise! (Also thanks so much for reading and your hype reblog of the link!!)

@vividlylost AHH, thank you Viv! ♡ ♡ ♡ It’s so good to see you!

@freaky-zombie-chick I’m so glad to see you, Freaky! And so sorry to hear that you had a health scare and other things going on! I hope you’re doing okay now, dear. And let’s just say the next episode of SSLL is going to be Axe heavy, so I hope you’ll enjoy that. =] I’m really glad to hear from you!! I was wondering if you were still on tumblr.

You haven’t seen any of the scooters? Oh man, they’re all over downtown, and even out in the other areas. Like, I love Wagaya so freakin’ much, and there’s one that’s near a college, I think? Those scooters even made it out there, and it was quite a drive from where I had my wreck, so I just assumed they were everywhere! Thank you so much, and I hope your day is wonderful, too!!

Also, lemme add in this other ask I got from another ATL native:

Oh yeah, I think the medical staff just sees accidents from those scooters all the time and I guess thought I’d somehow know that they’re dangerous? I felt like a complete idiot. 8D

I saw the South Park episode about the scooters shortly after that, and I felt so targeted lmao. Thank you for your well-wishes!

I think it’s pretty cool that’s there’s two people near ATL in my askbox! I’m 3 hours to the west, so I end up going to Atlanta a fair amount. (I’m going there twice this month alone lol)

@thefloatingstone AHHH C-PUFF I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!! You have no idea! Thank you!! I’m so glad to get this message! I’ve missed you so much, and I’m definitely going to send you a DM as soon as I finish this up because I wanna hear allllll about what you’ve been doing and how you’re been!! ♡ ♡ ♡

@hgmercury73 Thank you so much! I’m glad to be back around, and so happy that you’re enjoying the Tortoise Resurgence! ;D I’m severely out of practice when it comes to writing, but I’m getting back into the swing of things! Thank you again for throwing this positivity at me; it means the world to me!

I’m so stoked you liked it. ;D The Edge thing was a lonnnngggg time coming. I forgot I’d been setting it up since the first Gyftmas chapter!

#the tortoise talks #personal #positivity #for a rainy day #general asks #long post #i'm so glad tumblr didn't eat any of this while i was working on it

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ofmymuses · 5 years

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Hello! I saw somewhere you are writing a book and I currently doing the same thing! May I ask you on some tips? I struggle with attention span, my own writing style and the pacing. How do you deal with this kind of stuff? Also with critics? I know I need it to be better but I am still super sensitive. GOOD LUCK TO YOU BTW!!!

hey hey !! firstly, i want to thank you for messaging me here rather than over on my indie – i’d just rather keep it purely rping stuff over there so again, thank you :~) & also thank you for the well wishes !! i’m super excited & i wish you the absolute best with your book as well !! ~ what’s yours going to be about ? if you ( anyone reading this, not just anon ) ever want dm me & gush about our books, i would actually love to :’’’)

but onto some tips … please keep in mind that these are just what i do because i, too, have the attention span of an actual rock DFKGHS. if you ever need help with anything else ( regarding story writing or anything else ), feel free to come back @ any time + i’d be more than happy to help :-)

so … i don’t think it really matters where you choose to write your story – in any writing software or wherever – but i’d suggest writing in google docs simply because it says as you go &, knowing from experience, there’s nothing more heartbreaking than writing for an hour just for the app to crash + you lose all you’re writing.

( i’m going to put the rest under a read more so i can write all my thoughts & not worry about it being super long – which it is, sorry about that – & clogging the dash )

i made a separate tumblr account strictly for my book where i can put my thoughts, ideas, chapter outlines, character stuff, etc on. whenever i go to write in my book, i keep that tumblr signed in & i get off the dash and only keep the actual blog open because not only does it help having it open to add anything important you may think of while writing but it also helps keep your attention off the dash ‘cause you won’t be following anyone on that account so none of the posts will be your friends or anything that really pertains to you. you’ll also be able to follow / reblog writing help stuff or just things that inspire your book there without worrying about “messing up” the content on your main blog.

don’t open any tabs of things that might grab your attention — social media, youtube, game sites, etc. it’s super important to only keep writing help tabs up so you aren’t tempted to visit the other tabs + potentially get lost among them and lose time. the tabs i personally keep open are: google docs for writing, spotify ( or 8tracks ) for inspiring music & thesaurus ( or powerthesaurus ) for help finding new words. this is just me, personally, but you can open anything that you think will help you stay focus & inspired to write. if it doesn’t / if it’ll just be a distraction, don’t open it.

pop on some music that gives off the vibe of your story. this can help you stay inspired & get more in the zone. what i always do is think of different games / books / shows that are the same genre and look up playlists for that other thing. or you can directly look up the genre of your book + writing. so, if you’re writing a scary book about a haunted mansion, you could look up “writing” + “horror” ( or just “horror” ) & i guarantee you a lot of different options will come up to help you really get into that setting. !! BUT !! if music distracts rather than inspires & if you prefer writing in complete silence, just ignore this ~ it’s not for everyone. a bit of a tip i do have for you though, if you’re in a noisy area, is to put headphones / earphones in. it won’t block out ALL of the noise but it’ll at least help muffle the sound around you.

there really isn’t one set way to stay focused ; you can google different ways to keep your attention on one thing but something that really helps me is writing about something i love or something that inspires me ! writing a story about a romance that blossoms when your true passion is in the adventure genre is a surefire way of making it hard to focus when writing. no one likes to write stuff you aren’t interested in ~ so don’t do it ! it’s your book and no one can tell you not to write what you love. just find a topic / genre you really enjoy & start there.

regarding pacing …. ( future edit: i realize i didn’t understand what type of pacing you meant .... so i didn’t really answer your question but i have links at the bottom to help you; sorry about that !! ) let me tell you upfront that i am the worst when it comes to pacing because i either write for 5 hours straight or write for 5 minutes then walk away. and that’s okay ! in reality, you can’t force yourself to write. this just leads to sloppiness and while, yes, it’s the first draft, you’ll be giving yourself extra things to do in the future ( figuring out what you wanted to write / what you meant at the time / editing, etc etc ). SO ! what do you do when you don’t feel like writing ? i’ve been using this word a lot and i apologize but you should inspire yourself to write. i’d suggest maybe watch a movie that’s similar to your book or watching a bit of a playthrough of a game ( or play a bit of it yourself if you have it ) that’s similar to your book or even read a bit of a different book ! you can also wait until you feel the urge to write again but there’s never telling how long that could be. something that i’m going to try doing is making a schedule for writing your book. this can absolutely help keep you on track as well as making sure you don’t burn out from writing too much.

when it comes to critiquing my stories, i always show it to my mom / brother / boyfriend / anyone i trust to give their real opinion. i think it’s important to get critics from people you KNOW will be honest ( but not rude or hurtful ) about it. i do this throughout writing & not when i’m fully finished ~ this is just because books can be very long & take a while for people to finish meaning you get feedback slower than if you were to show your writing during the process ?? if that makes sense ? you can also send it to online friends ( which is another reason i love google docs btw !! you can so easily send a viewing link out ) and get an opinion from them.

regarding writing style …. i feel like this is a lot like when artists find their art style. you can just write & let the words flow or you could also read books from different authors & see which interests you or you could even google different styles ? you shouldn’t force yourself to do a certain style though, pick one that flows well for you & isn’t stressful to write.

i’m sorry for how long this got DFDKGHD i didn’t realize how much there was to say but i think i got it all out. i hope it helped you out even a little bit ! i’ll leave you with a few resources to further help you out :~) like i said before, please do come back if you have any other questions or if you want to tell me about your book because i’d looooooove to hear it ~

8 ways to improve your focus

8 quick ways to improve your attention span

10 ways to stand out and develop a unique writing style

how to find your writing style

7 quick tips for mastering pacing in your story

pacing in writing: what is it and how to master it

how to create strong pacing for your story

#Anonymous #general help #answered #BEST WISHES TO YOU + YOUR BOOK!!#also drinking game: drink whenever i say 'inspired' or 'your book' DFJGHSDG

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rpbetter · 3 years

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Raven used to be my friend but I had to cut ties recently due to feeling like walking on eggshells everytime we spoke and they never apologized to me for when I brought up something that they did upset me. I really miss them but I don't want to deal with the if it's not about me I don't care attitude.

Pt 2 of Ravens old friend. They reblogged anti fandom posts on their resource blog and I happened to be in that fandom and it hurt. A resource blog shouldn't be doing that.

Hey, Anon! I wanted to post this before I released one of my drafts, as that draft happens to be something I do not want you to misconstrue being about you. Thought about it after the fact and honestly, felt a bit ill over potentially making you think any such thing! The post is about how pushy people can be about what they like (usually as regards fandom) that you don't, and how that can be a contributing factor toward people saying hateful things about fandom topics. It was the quickest of the finished drafts sitting around to edit, so it was being queued, that's all! I do not think you were being pushy about your likes to "deserve" this, and frankly, even if you had? One's meme/resource/help blog is not the venue for shitting on your friends.

Okay, just wanted to clarify, everyone is stressed and feeling judged enough, I don't want to inadvertently contribute to that with any drafted posts!

I'm really sorry this happened, Anon. I don't mean that in a passing, flippant way that looks good on my blog. Not that I mean anything that way lol but I frequently have had "friends" in the past who felt like it was totally fine to reblog, even make original posts, like what you're talking about. Anti-fandom, anti my part of the fandom, my muses, my takes, and so on. Really hurtful things when we'd spoken in DMs about how upsetting it was, then they go and throw full support behind it in front of me.

It would be irritating with a grain of betrayal if it was a friend of a shorter time, or a mutual one doesn't really interact with OOC, but with a closer or longtime friend, it's actively hurtful. It feels like they looked you right in the face, said they do not give a single shit about either what is important to you or sparing your feelings, and went on. Yeah, it's just fiction, but the way we treat each other over fiction is real.

Given the behaviors displayed openly, it's not a shock you received no apology. Whether you got an apology or not, though, good on you for trying to bring it up to them! It's hard to do that with friends, even ones you're more certain won't blow up at you for it. I think if we could all be a little more (calmly, nicely, reasonably) open with each other like this, we could avoid problems that result from things festering and piling up, but it's hard to take that step...and I'm sorry this was your reward for it.

Just as blogs that are not one's RP or personal blogs shouldn't be openly judging and hating fandoms like that, friends shouldn't leave you feeling like you're walking on eggshells.

And, I'm going to say something unpopular here - sometimes, we all are capable of doing that to people we care about. Bad moments in lives combine, there are misunderstandings, sensitive topics, and things we can't entirely control otherwise. I don't like this idea tumblr has that anything other than a perfect, sweet, forever-cheery relationship is the actual height of abuse, so I want to be clear on that because it's just trivializing and blinding people to the possibility of toxic and abusive interactions. When you think "toxic" means "they don't like x, I love x, we don't talk about it," you're not aware of legitimate signs like being too worried to be yourself around them.

It's when this is the typical, established behavior that it's a problem. It's when there's never any meaningful acknowledgment, apology, or attempt at changing that it's a problem. If you constantly feel like you have to be worried about what a friend is going to say or do, it's not a friendship you need to be in, and I'm glad you recognized that and got out of it!

But there's also the idea that this is easy because it's the right and logical choice. It is not, and it's often made even harder because admitting to other friends that you miss the good times with the former one is all but impossible. They're often only reacting out of concern for you, the fear that if you miss this person they watched hurt you, you'll go back to that friendship, but it effectively shuts down a more healthy way of dealing with your feelings by sharing them with better friends who could support you.

So, Anon, it's also fully alright and normal to miss Raven! They were a longtime friend, and the thing about these kinds of friendships, these kinds of relationships in general, is that we seem to fail to realize that if things were straight awful from day one, we'd not have been friends. Of course, there are memories! Of course, you have the impulse to send them a link or that meme you know is their humor! It doesn't stop for a long time, either. That doesn't mean you're fucked up for it, it's something to be ashamed of, or that you're going to drop your better judgment and go send Raven a message immediately and rekindle that friendship. It's okay!

This right here: "I don't want to deal with the if it's not about me I don't care attitude." This is the place you should be in, and I congratulate you on being there because it takes a lot of shit heaped on someone by a friend to get there. Just keep remembering the good things you experienced with them, but always with this in mind, that their end of the friendship appears to have been predicated upon what they were getting out of it only.

Case in point, like everything they displayed to the whole damn RPC that encountered them these last few months, their personal interest and viewpoint was of greater importance to them with that anti-fandom post than a friend was.

I will say, it can be a delicate thing having this blog. I have opinions and takes that most of my friends share, what's important to me tends to run in the same lines as what is important to them, that's the basis of a lot of our friendship. We still disagree! We still have different interests, fandoms, favorite characters, songs, and experiences. Sometimes, I have to address a problem that they could misconstrue, in a totally normal and reasonable way, because while they're not doing whatever in a bad way, others are. I've made a point, more than once, to contact them and talk about it a little preemptively, and that's not just to keep up friendships, it also allows for extra insight from them and better phrasing from me so that other people I don't know won't take it the wrong way either.

Yes, I have some immutable, incredibly hard lines lol I think we all know what most of them are now, but expressing my purely personal opinion on something like fandom is not more important on this blog than anything else. I may genuinely feel like there is diseased connective tissue of disappointing behavior stemming from an origin point in a popular fandom, I'm not going to go off about it on this blog. It's inappropriate as hell, going to make people feel isolated and targeted whether they're my friends or not. Being passionately displeased about that does not have place here, and that's the kind of thing you have to consider, reconsider, force yourself to shut up about when you've got a blog that isn't for RP or a personal, you know?

I don't think everyone is cut out for doing that, and no one is cut out for doing it without ever making a mistake in judgment. Some people really should simply realize that there is nothing wrong with not being in the place in their lives or mental health to put that much effort into being fair or being quiet and concentrating only on memes. If you're one of those people, random reader? I'm serious, it's okay if you can't do it! It's not shameful, I'm also a deeply flawed human being, the quietest, politest, helpful meme blog out there is also run by a flawed human, they're just at a different place with themselves than you are. And. That's. Okay. Just don't hurt other people (and yourself, ultimately) by forcing it, please.

I suppose, knowing that it wasn't important enough to chill and reevaluate for the sake of a friend is some consolation lol what one won't do for friends definitely won't be done for random muns deemed problematic. So, maybe that'll make some other people out there feel a little better, and I thank you for sharing...as much as I wish you had nothing of this experience to share. I know it's an unpleasant one to have had, and I hope you have much better friends!

I promise you that I'll never post anything here that is viciously against any particular fandom or any such thing, and that if you feel like I've been unfair about anything at all, I welcome polite messages as a way of discussing it so we can all be clear and/or learn from each other. I know, I openly admit, it's kind of a draw of the blog, that I have a...um, tone of salt about things lol and sometimes, I don't phrase things the way they deserved. So, it's always okay to drop in for clarification or counterpoint, so long as it isn't being done with a shitty attitude that incites hostilities. Let's do have a legitimate conversation about it instead of hurt feelings!

Thanks again, Anon!

#vespertine #answered #anonymous #fandom #toxic friendships #drama cw

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twdeadfanfic · 6 years

Text

Everybody knows

*Summary: Daryl has a crush on Y/N, his mind wandering to her at the worst moments on its own accord, making him unable to think straight with her arround, it’s frustrating and it’s embarrassing…little do he knows that it’s exactly the same for Y/N, who’s also unable to stop her eyes from wandering to him, her mind daydreaming. All their friends, seem to know, though…could them both going to a run finally bring them together?

* Both Reader and Daryl’s POV. Violance and language twd style.

* 4739 Words

*Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

This was an anon requests, I’m sorry it took me so long to get to it. I’m not sure if the person who requested it still follows this blog, but I hope they get to see this, and I hope it was close to what you wanted. I hope you all like it, let me know your thoughts.

*Link to my masterlist with my other works can be found on the description of this blog. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but tumblr doesn’t show posts with links in the tags.

...........................................................

You knew you were supposed to be keeping watch, your eyes and attention on the prison fence and beyond, but you couldn’t help yourself and your gaze kept shifting towards Daryl, who was working on the pick-up Rick used to carry stuff around. There seemed to be something wrong with the motor and Daryl was trying to fix it.

You leaned against the railing of the watchtower as you stared at him, feeling once again those stubborn butterflies in your belly…

Daryl had saved you, months ago. Your group had been overrun by walkers but you’d managed to survive, and you’d been wandering the woods alone for a few days until you decided you needed to find supplies and had headed to the road. There you had found a gas station, but before you could check it, you’d heard a motorbike approaching and you had hidden.

It’d been Daryl, who after making sure there weren’t walkers around had opened the door, crossbow ready in front of him to take down the ones inside. There’d been more than what any of you had thought, and after considering it for a couple of seconds, you’d left your hiding spot to help him.

After clearing all the walkers, you both had stared at each other with mistrust, but then he’d asked his questions, you’d asked yours, and you’d decided he wasn’t that bad. He seemed to have thought the same of you. You both collected some supplies from the place and then Daryl had taken you to the prison. Another questioning and you’d been taken in.

At first, when you weren’t working on whatever you were told, you were either in your cell or at Daryl’s side, finding it hard to socialize with all the others, though Daryl hadn’t seemed to mind your company much. He was a bit of a loner and didn’t talk that much if you didn’t initiate the conversations, but he had been kind and gentle with you, even though sometimes he also had seemed a bit confused and awkward at having you following him around and talking to him.

Eventually, you’d become friends with everyone, but your relationship with Daryl was different, deeper. He was a good man with the best heart, and when you got him to open up you could spend hours talking with him and never get bored. One day, you realized you had fallen for him, you didn’t see him only as a good friend.

You didn’t tell him anything, afraid of scaring him and losing him. He was shy and private, and you didn’t think he’d look at you like that. You weren’t even sure if he was interested in being with someone, he didn’t seem to give much thought to stuff like that, he didn’t seem interested.

Still, the butterflies in your stomach had just gotten worse and worse, and you caught yourself staring at him, lost in your daydream, more often than you’d like. And the more you stared, the more you talked with him and spent time with him, the harder you fell. You didn’t know what to do anymore.

A snicker next to you brought you back to earth and you found Maggie looking amused at you.

“Well, Daryl must be the safest guy in the world with you keeping watch only over him.” She teased you.

“What’re you saying…” You shook your head as if she was being silly, but your cheeks heat up, betraying you. “I got a bit lost in thought, I didn’t know where I was looking.”

“Yeah, sure.” Maggie snorted. “It happens to you a lot, yeah? And always looking at Daryl.” You turned your back to her but she kept talking. “Come on, I’ve seen you with that dreamy eyes enough times.” She nudged you with her shoulder. “Are you gonna just stare at him forever or are you gonna go for it?”

“Pff.” You scoffed. “Yeah, I bet Daryl’d take that really well. Come on, Maggie, you’d known him for longer than I.”

“Well, maybe you’d be surprised? You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

“I don’t want to freak him out. He doesn’t seem the kind of guy who wants a relationship, you know.” And even if he were, that didn’t mean he’d have one with you. He hadn’t ever hinted at it, and you thought he saw you only as a friend.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.” Maggie shrugged. “Look, Glenn’s coming, you can leave.” He pointed at the man who was making his way to the watchtower. “Why don’t you go to talk to Daryl? Just talk…”

“I don’t know…”

“Hi there.”

Daryl had been so engrossed with the motor of the pickup that he didn’t notice Y/N approaching until she greeted him. He looked up and saw her smiling brightly at him and his heart did a somersault.

He didn’t know what had gotten into him lately, making him have thoughts he shouldn’t about Y/N, making him all flustered and nervous when she was around. He’d thought she was a good one since that day he picked her up after she helped him clear that gas station. Then, when she had begun following him and spending time with him as she slowly got used to the place, he’d been confused at first, then he had found himself feeling protective over her and enjoying her company. It was easy to talk to her, and at the same time she didn’t mind it when he didn’t feel like talking.

But he didn’t know what was going on with him lately. When Y/N was around, his eyes seemed to wander to her on their own accord, his stomach did funny twirls sometimes when they talked, or even when his mind wandered to her, which seemed to be more often than not. It was frustrating.

He needed to stop the bullshit, it was just a matter of time before Y/N noticed and maybe when she did she wouldn’t want to be around him anymore. Which maybe would help Daryl stop those feelings, but at the same time the idea felt like a kick to the gut. Daryl didn’t want to lose her, no matter what.

He needed to take his mind off the clouds and focus.

Daryl nodded at Y/N as a greeting and focused his attention back to the motor. As always, Y/N didn’t pressure him into talking but he felt her eyes on him, watching him, making him nervous enough to cut his finger with a sharp edge of the hood.

“Shit!”

“Hey, you alright?” Y/N reached out to take his hand and inspect the cut, making him feel a rush of electricity going up his hand and through his body, and Daryl yanked his hand away roughly, sucking his finger into his mouth and feeling like an idiot.

“Sorry…” Y/N looked at him like she wasn’t sure if he was angry or not. “I can leave you alone…”

Daryl knew he was being rude but he couldn’t help it, the twirls he was feeling in his stomach making him more flustered and nervous. “I’m done here anyway.” He muttered, closing the hood of the car.

“Alright…there’s some light hours left, do you want to go hunting?”

Daryl had been teaching her how to track and hunt, but lately he’d been doing it less and less, being out there alone with her made those feelings he couldn’t get rid of stronger and stronger.

“Nah, I gotta drive this to Rick.” He didn’t even turn to look at her, afraid of his heart betraying him and going crazy, and he got into the car to drive away.

Later, though, Daryl couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d blown Y/N off, how he’d been with her. She made him nervous, made him feel things he didn’t want to, but at the same time the idea of her getting angry and not wanting to spend time with him anymore felt like a kick to the gut. Spending time with her turned him into a mess, however…he didn’t know what to do, but the idea of Y/N deciding they weren’t friends anymore had him feeling anxious, so he decided he’d apologize, maybe during dinner.

He went looking for Carol to see if she needed help cooking or something, and he found her walking out the storeroom.

“Hey, I was going to talk to you.” She smiled when she saw him, making his way to him. “I’ve been talking to Rick, we’re low on cans and preserved food, and once in winter there won’t be this much game for you to hunt.” Daryl nodded in silence. “Could you go and check this place tomorrow?” She pointed at it on a map she unfolded. “If it still has supplies, we’ll send a group.”

“Alright.” Daryl took the map, folding it again.

“You shouldn’t go alone, though.”

Daryl scoffed. “I’m fine alone, it wouldn’t be the first time.

“Still, we talked about it at the last council meeting, nobody goes on runs alone.” Carol reminded him and Daryl rolled his eyes. “Don’t you remember?”

“Yeah, alright, I’ll ask someone.”

“You could ask Y/N, she’s free tomorrow.” Carol gave him a knowing smile and Daryl couldn’t help but turn defensive.

“Why her?”

“Why not?”

Daryl shrugged, he didn’t know what to say. The idea of explaining to Carol the feelings that Y/N gave him mortified him, though he felt she knew. It wasn’t the first time Carol talked him about Y/N or asked him to do things with her, and she always had that smile on her face while doing so, as if she could read his mind.

“It’s just I think you seem to really like to spend time with her. Well, I don’t think it, I know it.” Carol chuckled quietly and Daryl shrugged again, looking down, hoping he wouldn’t blush. “And I know she really likes to spend time with you.” Just like that, Daryl’s heart was beating faster, he wasn’t able to control it. “So, since you both are free tomorrow, I thought it’d be a good idea if you both go together to the run.”

“Don’t care…”

“Great, it’s settled then. Just don’t get too distracted like that time you went hunting with her and came back without anything” Carol winked at him and Daryl felt his cheeks burn.

“It was cos I let her try and I spent all the light hours teaching her to track.” He grumbled. “If I’d have wanted to hunt something, I would.”

“Whatever.” Carol ignored him, turning to walk to the kitchen. “By the way, she doesn’t know about the run, so you have to tell her.”

Once dinner was cooked, Daryl took a bowl for Y/N and went to see if she was in her cell to apologize and ask her to go to tomorrow’s run with him. She was in there, sitting on the bed and reading a book, and Daryl knocked on the door’s bars before walking in.

“Hi.” She gave him a small smile, but it wasn’t as friendly and bright like the ones he was used to, the ones that made his heart go crazy, and Daryl wondered if she was upset with him.

“Hey, I brought you dinner.” Daryl handed her the bowl and Y/N looked at him weird.

“You didn’t have to, I was about to go have dinner with everyone else.”

Daryl shrugged, unsure of what to say and feeling awkward. “It’s okay I have to talk to you anyway.”

“Okay.” She nodded, more serious than she usually looked when they were together, which just made Daryl more nervous. “Go ahead.”

“I, um…” He chewed on his lower lip and decided to apologize before telling her about the run. “I’m sorry about earlier, when I was fixing the car.”

Y/N looked at him for a second but then she shrugged and began to fidget, looking down. “It’s okay. I know that I’ve been…I don’t know, kind of following you around a lot, so if you want me to back off a bit, well, it’s-”

“What? No.” Daryl didn’t let her finish, frowning at the idea of her thinking he didn’t like to spend time with her, no matter the feelings she gave him. “I…I like it when you are around.” He added quietly, blushing and looking down.

“Yeah? That’s…that’s good to know. Cos I like it too.”

When Daryl looked up Y/N was looking at him with her bright smile, her cheeks blushed, and Daryl’s heart began beating fast, going nervous again but he tried to control it, glad that matter was settled.

“Carol wants us to go on a run to a nearby place tomorrow, check if there’re supplies.” He remembered he had gone there to ask her that, his mind having gone a little blank as he stared at her.

“Okay, sure.” She nodded, still with that smile that made something flutter inside his belly, and he nodded too. “You know what, why don’t you go grab your dinner and come back, and we can eat together while making plans for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, alright.”

You made sure your backpack was securely strapped to you before getting behind Daryl on his bike. You held to him, wrapping your arms around his middle, feeling a bit guilty about how much you enjoyed having your arms around him and being this close.

“You ready?” Daryl asked you over his shoulder.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Carl and Rick opened the prison’s doors and off you went. As Daryl speeded up you used it as an excuse to hold to him a bit tighter. You were so glad he had wanted to go with you to the run. You’d been a bit worried about how he had ignored you yesterday, wondering if maybe he was tired of you always being around him. You had thought maybe he actually didn’t like to spend time with you as much as you’d thought, maybe he was just polite but he was tired of it. Or maybe he had noticed your feelings and he wanted nothing to do with you anymore.

But later he had seemed back to normal, bringing you dinner and asking you to go to the run, and then you both had spent the next couple of hours talking in your room until it was time to sleep. Now he didn’t seem to mind your arms tight around him either. You were relieved, but now you were more uncertain about confessing your feelings to him someday, afraid it’d drive him away.

After a little while through small, secondary roads, you reached your destination, a small warehouse. Daryl stopped the bike and you let go of him, holding onto his shoulders to get off the bike and looking around.

“You think we’ll find something here?”

“Don’t know… come on.”

You both checked the perimeter and didn’t find any walkers around, but neither anything useful. When Daryl knocked on the door, though, there was some banging from the inside, walkers were looked in, pushing at the door relentlessly.

“Maybe we should come back with a group.” You said while Daryl inspected the lock to see if he could pick it. “It sounds like there’re several of them there.”

“Nah, we ain’t making a group come if there’s nothing inside, don’t think they're that many, listen to it.” Daryl kept working on the lock until it opened.

“Alright…” You decided the banging sounded like a group of them, but not one you both couldn’t deal with. “How do we do it?”

“You open the door, make sure to stay behind it so they don’t see you and then move away, I’ll shoot them as they go out.”

You nodded, it was a good plan. “Okay, but you could open the door and I start shooting them with my gun, it’ll be faster than the crossbow.”

“No way.”

“Come on, Daryl, you know I have good aim.” You rolled your eyes. “You can join me at shooting once they're distracted by me.”

Daryl thought it for a moment, looking back and forth from the door to you, and you were growing impatient but finally he nodded.

“Alright, let’s go.”

You stepped back to a distance you deemed safe enough and held your gun in front of you. “Ready.”

Daryl opened the door but less than halfway, knife on hand, and instead of hiding behind it he began to sink the knife into the heads of the walkers while trying to stop them from opening the door more.

“What are you doing?!” You couldn’t risk shooting with him in the middle, and by the look of it, the walkers were probably too many for Daryl to put them down by himself like that, no matter how skilled you knew he was. You didn’t know what had gotten into him.

You let go of your gun in favor of your knife and rushed to the door, helping Daryl to put down the walkers like that. Once all them were dead, you turned to glare at Daryl, your heart beating so fast, scared, that you thought it was going to jump out of your chest.

“What the hell was that?!” You almost but yelled at him.

“Didn’t want to risk them getting to you.” Daryl shrugged, defensive and looking down, and you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelieve.

“You think I can’t handle to shoot some walkers?!”

“Ain’t that, just-”

“And you knew there were a lot of them!” You didn’t let him finish, you couldn’t believe he’d do something like that. “That was reckless! They could have killed you!”

“They wouldn’t!” Daryl snapped. “I could have killed them all by myself, I didn’t need you!”

“God, you’re infuriating sometimes!” You snapped back, you’ve been so scared for him. “It was dangerous and reckless, and you know it! What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Ain’t my fault I can’t think straight when you’re around!” Daryl sounded as angry as you, face red, and as he said that his gaze dropped to the ground again.

You didn’t know what to say to that, taken aback and confused, you weren’t sure of what he meant. Daryl had turned away from you, seeming awkward, so you decided not to push it for now. But you wanted to know what he meant.

“What if they’d bitten you, Daryl?” You said softer this time, although you were still scared. “What if they’d pushed the door open and killed you.”

“They wouldn’t, I got it” Daryl just shrugged without looking at you.

“They could, they were a lot, Daryl! We had a plan!” Your voice rose again but you took a deep breath, trying to calm down the beating of your heart. “What would have I done then, uh? I don’t want to even think it!” You felt like crying at the idea. “You can’t do shit like that...I don’t want to lose you, okay? I care about you…” Your angry voice softened, turning vulnerable, and you looked down, fidgeting. You weren’t sure if Daryl was going to snap again or not.

For a moment, Daryl didn’t say anything, shifting his weight from foot to foot awkwardly as he looked anywhere but at you. “I care about you too.” He muttered without looking at you, and the butterflies in your stomach began dancing again at his words. “That’s why I couldn’t let them get you.”

You didn’t know what to say, you were still scared about what he had done and what could have happened, but now your heart was beating like crazy not only because of that but because of Daryl’s words. Him saying that you didn’t let him think straight, that he cared for you too…you didn’t know what to think. You couldn’t get too excited about it, didn’t want to let yourself think that maybe he felt for you a bit like you felt for him. It could be just him being a good friend, you knew Daryl had a big heart and cared a lot for people. But still…

“And I’m grateful you do, I really am. I told you I care for you too, so the idea of walkers getting you…” You shuddered. “You never, ever do something like that again, please. We had a plan, whatever happens, we face it together, okay? We help each other, we take care of each other, alright?”

Daryl seemed reluctant for a bit before finally nodding, and looking at you. His cheeks were still red but he gave you a tiny, crooked smile that had the butterflies in your belly going crazy again.

“You okay?” You asked and he nodded.

“You?”

“Yeah…yeah, I’m okay.”

“Alright…” Daryl still seemed a bit awkward, but his tiny smile was still there. “Come on, let’s check the inside.”

“Just…on a second…”

Daryl frowned as if he thought there was something wrong and then blinked in surprise as you moved closer, reaching out your arms. He’d scared you so much, you were so relieved he was okay, and were so happy about the things he’d said, that you felt like hugging him, you couldn’t help it, and you hoped he wouldn’t be awkward about it.

Carefully, you wrapped your arms loosely around him. He stiffed but before you pulled back he wrapped his arms around you too and began to relax. You dared to hold him a bit tighter at that and gently, Daryl held you closer, running his fingers through your hair so softly that you barely felt him, allowing you to bury your face on the crook of his shoulder and making the butterflies inside your belly go as out of control as the beating of your heart.

You pulled back and you bit your lip but couldn’t help your shy smile as you looked at him, resting your hands gently on his chest while he kept his on your waist, swallowing hard as he looked at you.

“I don’t want to make this weird…” You began softly. “But I gotta tell you something and I think maybe if I don’t do it now I won’t ever do it.” You took a deep breath. “I…well… I really like you, not only as a friend, I can’t help it…” You shrugged, looking down.

Daryl didn’t say anything and you didn’t know if that was good or not. You ventured a look at him and he was looking down, seeming thoughtful, but he hadn’t pushed you away, he still had his hands on your waist and you felt the nervous pitter-patter of his fingers.

“I don’t say it cos I expect anything from you or nothing…” You whispered.

“I, erm…” Daryl began to say something but stopped, swallowing hard. “I think…well…I think I feel like you.” He whispered without looking at you.

Your heart began beating like crazy, excited, you couldn’t help it. “Yeah?”

He nodded, still looking down. “Told you, can’t think straight when you’re around, I got distracted by you, it’s frustrating.”

You chuckled at that, you could barely believe it. “It happens to me too, yesterday I was in the watchtower but my eyes didn’t want to focus on that, I kept looking at you as you worked on that car…” You admitted, blushing.

Daryl looked at you at that, his cheeks blushed too, but his mouth twitched into a tiny smile. He looked at you, chewing on his lower lip, seeming to be considering something, and you waited for him to say something but he didn’t. Instead, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth.

It was so sweet you could just grin at him, the butterflies in your belly throwing a party. He was looking at you, seeming nervous and insecure, but he smiled when you reached out to brush your fingers over his cheekbone, leaning into your touch.

“Maybe then…” You ventured. “We could give this a try, you know, be together as more than friends.”

Daryl nodded once, still seeming a bit nervous, but before he could say anything a banging coming from inside the warehouse caught both your attention and Daryl pulled away from you, crossbow aimed in front of him in a second, but no walker stumbled towards you.

“I guess it’s trapped somewhere,” you said.

“I’m gonna check.”

He lowered the crossbow and began walking into the warehouse. You followed him, reaching to hold his hand. “Not alone, remember.” His hand twitched on yours and he looked at you but then he smiled softly, relaxing and lacing his fingers with you.

It didn’t take you both long to clear through the warehouse, putting down a couple of walkers locked inside some storerooms and collecting a few cans of food and a more than welcome bag of seeds. There wasn’t enough stuff to send a group, you could carry it in the bags Daryl had attached to his bike and your backpack. You wished you could have found the place full of stuff, but at least it was something.

“You sure that’s not too heavy?” Daryl pointed at your backpack. “I can try to tie it to the bike.”

“Nah, it’s okay.”

“Alright.” Daryl got onto the bike and turned on the engine. “Let’s go back.”

You nodded and held onto his shoulder but before swinging your leg over the bike you reached out your other hand to cup his face, making him look at you and brushing his hair away from his face. Daryl looked at you, seeming a bit confused, before closing his eyes and leaning into your touch. You used your knuckles under his chin to lift his head, and you kissed his lips softly.

Daryl opened his eyes when you pulled back, seeming a bit like in awe, and you couldn’t help your smile, running your fingers over his cheekbone before finally getting onto the bike. You wrapped your arms around him, hugging him and pressing your face onto his back for a second before pulling back and loosening your grip a bit, enough for you to hold securely to him. Daryl looked at you over his shoulder with a small smile, placing his hand over yours for a second before kicking the bike into motion.

Once you arrived at the prison, Daryl parked the bike at the back of it with the other vehicles. You held him tight to you for a couple of seconds, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before dismounting, still finding it hard to believe that you were allowed to do that, that you were together.

Daryl got off the bike and surprised you reaching out to take your hand and lace your fingers, making the butterflies in your belly dance again as he pressed a tentative kiss to your lips.

You heard a chuckle and broke away from Daryl, finding Rick looking at you both, seeming surprised, an amused smile on his face.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

“What you laughing at?” Daryl barked, pulling away from you, his cheeks blushed.

“Nothing, just…it was past time.” Rick shook his head, chuckling. “How long have you both been crushing on each other?”

Daryl scoffed and turned away from Rick to fumble with the bags of his bike. You were a bit embarrassed too, but you couldn’t help your smile.

“Hey, I’m happy! It was frustrating for all of us watching you both staring lovingly at each other without doing anything, seriously.” Rick kept teasing, no matter how uncomfortable Daryl was, it seemed to amuse him more.

“You gonna stand there smiling like an idiot or are you gonna help us carry this shit inside?” Daryl snapped.

“Yeah, yeah.” Rick nodded but didn’t move closer, still grinning. “Actually…I have to go talk to Carol, she’ll be happy to know how successful this run was too.” Rick chuckled again and left towards the building.

Daryl scoffed and you looked at him, giving him a smile and reaching out your hand to him. He took it, lacing your fingers, the corner of his mouth twitching into a tiny smile, even though he still seemed embarrassed. You pulled him closer and kissed his blushed cheek.

“I know it’s not fun to have them gossiping but it’s because they care.” You told him gently. “And I’m really, really glad Carol sent us to this run.”

Daryl’s fingers played nervously with yours but he smiled.

“Yeah, yeah, me too.”

...................................................................................

Thank you all for reading! I hope you liked it! If you have a moment, please let me know your thoughts in the comments, your feedback makes my day!

As always, English is not my first language so sorry if there are mistakes.

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joeybelle · 5 years

Text

Starlight Epilogue

Cassian Andor x Orginal Female Character

Rating: -

Warnings: Violence, Angst, Unhappy ending for now but there will be a sequel

Size: 600

Cassian could barely stand, but willed his body to move towards the figure lying on the ledge. He put one foot in front of the other, limping towards Krennic at an agonizingly slow pace.

The plans had been transmitted. It was over.

There was no rush anymore, he’d done his part; there were others out there who would carry the fight against the Empire. And hopefully now the Rebellion actually stood a chance. Maybe they’d survive. Maybe one day there will be peace.

Cassian had very little hope of leaving Scarif.

Krennic was lying face down so Cassian had to hit him with his boot to get him to wake up and turn around. He was vaguely aware of Jyn supporting his frame and talking to him, but he tuned her out. Krennic’s mouth opened, but no sound came out of it as he stared up the barrel of Cassian’s blaster.

He had to lean heavily on Jyn’s shoulder for support as he bent down enough for the commander to hear him over the noise without having to yell. He didn’t think he had the power to raise his voice. His body ached with a sort of finality.

“Cora Enoch sends her regards,” he said in an even tone, swaying lightly in the strong wind.

He felt a brief moment of satisfaction seeing Krennic’s eyes widen in realization, but it was over the moment he pulled the trigger. He still loathed killing, but it didn’t matter anymore. It never did.

He let Jyn guide him to the elevator. She seemed to be in a much better shape than he was, but he could still imagine Cora yelling at them both for being so careless and almost getting themselves killed. The thought made him smile. She’d done everything she could to keep them alive. Even gave them a healing field generator that would have been really helpful right about then, but it was lost on Eadu, along with his U-Wing.

He allowed himself to think about Cora once again; after all, this was the end. He had nothing left but the the small comfort of still being able to remember her smile. She made him happier than he ever thought he could be—than he ever thought he deserved. In her embrace he allowed himself to hope, to dream for a better future; to think that what he was doing wasn’t in vain. Even now it made him happy thinking that all he’d sacrificed was worth it, if she’d live on.

The golden beach was deserted, but he could still hear the sounds of the fight nearby. He didn’t care, it wasn’t his fight anymore. Jyn carried him with purpose, unwilling to just give up, but he knew better. He felt sorry for her. She was much too young to deserve such an ending, but he was honoured to spend his last moments by her side.

His thoughts drifted to Cora once again. He wondered what she was doing. Probably still in the med bay, dressed in pristine white, looking out the window waiting for his return.

Not this time. I’m sorry, he thought.

She’d cry once they’d tell her. Of course she would, she cried much too easily. She’d be angry. Hurt. But eventually the tears would dry, the pain would fade along with his memory.

He wondered if she’d remember him as her life went on, if she’d tell her children the story of the rebel that stole her from the Empire. If she’d remember him fondly, or would he always be a painful memory that she’d try to push back. Either way, he was glad to have met her, glad to have loved her for the brief time they had shared together.

Far away, near the horizon, the sky lit up.

Author’s note:

Hello my dudes, welcome to the end! Congrats for getting so far, you’ve earned a cookie and all my love. Thank you for your support and likes and reblogs, they made this possible.

Now, there will be a sequel, and I promise I will fix some things I’ve broken. If you know you need some spoilers about how this is going forward my ask and messages are always open (just don’t ask on anon so I can reply privately so people who don’t want spoilers won’t see them)

Thank you<3

Masterlist in bio cause tumblr doesn’t allow links

#cassian andor #cassian andor x ofc #cassian andor x reader #rogue one #star wars

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freckliedan · 5 years

Note

I'm sorry, I really disagree with you. I don't think anyone HAS to accept critisicm unless that person is like, their teacher. Anons and others of tumblr are not that. She wrote something that was very deep and very personal, tagged it as such, and posted in on the internet. All things that are allowed. Logging off when you don't want to see hate is totally reasonable- if someone was screaming in your face, walking away is a good response. I don't understand the way people reacted to this.

I guess, she just doesn't have to aplogise because people are telling her to. It was all her choice-posting it, taking it down, etc. It might be sad or make people angry if she doesn't react the way they'd like, but thats part of being on the internet. It goes both ways here. I'm really not trying to come at people all up in arms- I understand there is upset. But that is part of being a bloody human, let alone on the internet. For something like a fic? We don't get to tell her what to do.

I'm like specifically not anon here cos I really don't want to argue or seem hostile. Discussion is good, I'm not here to hate on you or anyone. I hope it didn't come across that way.

hi b! thank you so much for your messages, especially the last one clarifying tone! you weren’t coming across as hostile, especially because of being off anon, but i always tend to doubt myself when reading tone so it meant a lot to have a clear confirmation that i was reading things right 💛 and also thank you because i’m really glad for the chance to have a discussion with someone who has a different point of view from me; i always worry a lot about what will happen if i only talk with/listen to people who think similarly to me and it means the world to me when people who disagree with my thoughts are comfy having conversations with me.

i’m worried that i haven’t been entirely clear expressing my point of view, and that that’s a part of what you don’t agree with? because i agree with a lot of what you’ve said, and that makes me think the disagreement might be because i’m not communicating clearly? (my apologies if this gets quite long, my instinct is always to over-explain things & it comes not from a place of condescension but from a desire to make as much sense as possible)

tl;dr for the contents below the cut:

overall the message that i’m trying to send is not that sarah should apologize/change her behavior or that her leaving tumblr due to the hateful messages she was receiving at the same time as legitimate criticism was wrong. the message i’m trying to send is that due to her pattern of behavior, i don't think she’s willing to hold herself accountable for her actions, and that because of that/because the only person anyone can control is themself it’s up to us as a community to decide whether we’re okay with sarah’s actions and are going to support her by not acting on anything, or if we’re not okay with her actions and if we’re not, what actions we’re going to take about this situation. (this was going to be my final paragraph but i put it here instead).

i’m going to number these just to try to add a little organization in my responses to everything?

1) you’re right that nobody has to accept criticism from anyone; the only person anyone can control is themself, and i would never push the idea that the best resolution to a conflict situation is changing someone else's behavior/the only way to resolve something is for someone else’s behavior to change. what i am saying is that in society, it is generally accepted that an appropriate response to being told that something you did/said was in the wrong is evaluating whether what you did or said was hurtful, and if it was going on to apologize and change your behavior as best you're able in the future.(the reason i included evaluating whether what you did or said was hurtful is because sometimes abusers tell their victims that they are bad or in the wrong for setting and enforcing healthy boundaries, which isn’t a bad or wrong thing at all, and even though that’s not the topic of this post i don’t want to put the message into the world that literally 100% of the time people must apologize and change their behavior when told they’ve hurt someone. evaluation of the situation is important).and there is no literal law or rule that says you have to apologize and modify your behavior when someone tells you you've done something hurtful and their criticism/call in is an accurate assessment of the situatoin, but in general? refusing to apologize and change when it’s true that you’ve hurt someone is the asshole thing to do.and even though there’s no rule saying someone has to apologize, it's very socially accepted that if you say "hey, this thing you did hurt me/someone i care about and i don't know if you realized, so i'm telling you with the assumption that you don't want to hurt other people again in the future" and the other person says "there's no rule saying i have to accept criticism or apologize to anyone"? that person is kind of an asshole and you can choose not to spend time around them or interact with them in the future.

so like, nobody has to accept criticism from others but refusing to accept any criticism whatsoever often means people probably won’t want to spend time around you because you clearly don’t care about others’ feelings?

i'm not saying sarah has to accept criticism or apologise, i'm saying that if sarah continually shows a disregard for other people's wellbeing by refusing to accept criticism, it's reasonable for people to choose not to interact with her anymore.

i’ve been blocked by her and her friends since (i believe) january, when i was sending supportive asks to a minor who was recieving violent anon hate for making room on his blog for other minors who were uncomfortable with the teenagers fanfic; i have the people who blocked me blocked in return, because before now i was choosing to deal with this by following my own advice and refusing to interact with individuals who have behaved hurtfully and refused to change but at this point in time feel it necessary to speak out for the reasons i listed in my long reply on a post about the current discourse (link for context, though i think that post may be why i got these asks?)

2) also, i agree with you that disengaging when you’re receiving hateful messages is incredibly valid and honestly the smartest thing for anyone’s mental health when conflict gets out of control on tumblr. i don’t consider the hateful messages sarah was getting to have been constructive criticism of the kind i’ve previously been describing in this post; i’m fully against anyone sending anon hate for any reason. amber answered an ask about this (link) and i agree with everything amber said. for me, it is both true that the anon hate sarah received was horrible and inexcusable and that i cannot continue standing by while she refuses to be held accountable for the impact of her actions, regardless of her intent.

3) i think in response to you not understanding the way people reacted to this, that’s probably connected to the one place where we do have a major difference in the way we’re thinking? specifically the part where you said “She wrote something that was very deep and very personal, tagged it as such, and posted in on the internet. All things that are allowed.”

you’re right that there’s no laws or literal rules preventing what she did, and i think i’ve repeatedly said that i understand and support people writing fic to cope with their own experiences, but that sarah crossed a line when posting this fic specifically. amber covers that really well in her response to an ask, as well (link). please read what amber said; i am in total agreement with them.

what you said about sarah’s fic-that it was very deep and very personal- is also true about what dan shared with us in basically i’m gay. publishing a fic that uses dan’s trauma in the way that sarah did is incredibly dehumanizing and it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach with horror. dan and phil are human people, and it’s never okay to take ownership over another person’s trauma like that.

does that make sense? i don’t mean to have an aggressive or hostile tone whatsoever either, and i can’t tell whether i’ve succeeded in avoiding that in this reply.

#suicide m/#below the readmore as a part of the discussion of the fic #sarah & mandy discourse #i really really hope this wasn't an aggressive response i am just so full of thoughts #coffeebox62 #den replies

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startofamoment · 6 years

Text

that’s rough, buddy

Jake’s always had a complicated relationship with fire.

(A character study of sorts on firebender!Jake.)

Hi everyone! Welcome to this incredibly self-indulgent thing, in which I mash together my primary obsession of years past with my current reason for living. (Nevermind that they don’t intuitively mesh well. We’re just going to say that Brooklyn is kind of like Korra-era’s Republic City and call it good.)

An anon had asked me ages ago whether I had any headcanons on what type of bender each person in the squad would be. I hadn’t felt inspired to write an actual fic for this AU until the super talented @microfroggo took on my silly pitch to draw our boi Jake as a firebender a couple months ago. Because tumblr is tumblr, I’ll include the relevant links in a separate reblog down below – def check out Mikko’s work if you’re at all interested in getting something done!

PS: I should probably mention that I don’t do very much to explain the Avatar-related side of this AU. If you’re unfamiliar with the animated series, I’d recommend at least skimming through the wiki page so you get a basic understanding on the different forms of bending. (And honestly, if you have time, GO BINGE-WATCH A:TLA! I promise, you won’t regret it.)

PPS: FMA:B fans out there will note that I’ve included a little nod to everyone’s favorite Flame Alchemist… Because, yes, this is definitely just a gratuitous homage to all my hyperfixations. I’m sorry. (Not sorry.)

“That’s it. Use your breath, son.”

Jake inhales deeply then exhales, focusing intently on the small flame between his hands. He’s supposed to be making sure that it doesn’t blaze wildly or just die in the wind.

He’s done this particular exercise a bajillion times now. (Or maybe less – Mrs. Stratton did mention that he needed to work on his math.) Still, his dad says it’s very important to practice his control. Jake supposes that’s fair, given that it’s only been a few months since he nearly singed Nana’s eyebrows off while blowing out the candles on his blue birthday cake.

What he really wants to do is skip forward to launching fire missiles with his fists or propelling himself through the sky on flaming jets, exactly like he’s seen it done in the movies. But his dad says he’s got a long way to go before he can attempt anything more than a basic fire stream, so Jake just nods and does what he’s told. He’ll become a firebending master eventually.

Truthfully, though, Jake thinks that maybe if his dad weren’t working or golfing so much, maybe they’d get to train more often, and maybe he’d be able to progress to something other than breathing.

The funny thing is: when his dad officially walks out of his life, despite all of their training, Jake’s not sure he even still knows how to breathe.

---

His mom’s an airbender, and Nana’s an airbender, and Gina and her mom are airbenders. So Jake wants to be an airbender. (If only it worked that way.)

He’s unfortunately stuck as a firebender, with no one to teach him how to actually firebend, so he has to resort to copying the Ninja Lion-Turtles on TV. Raphael’s naturally his favorite, although he can’t make heads or tails of how to replicate his fire daggers.

He almost never experiments with bending at home, of course. He’s not the brightest, but he at least knows how dangerous it would be for one of his attempts to go wrong without anyone around to help extinguish the fire. On the rare instance that his mom isn’t at her multiple jobs, she lets him practice while she paints ceramics or cooks. She’s only had to run in with a bucket of water once, but, well– once is enough.

And yes, he could technically be enrolled in lessons… but that would cost money, and Jake would really rather have a full belly than a proper fighting stance. His mom is overworked and overwhelmed as it is; he couldn’t possibly ask her to look into registration fees at the local dojo.

---

Occasionally, when he’s alone in the park with Gina, he’ll run through the few basic exercises he remembers then attempt some fire-jabs and kicks. He’s not supposed to, but he’s fairly certain that nothing will catch on fire in an open field and that, on the off chance that anything does, a patrol officer will handle it. Gina doesn’t mind at all and usually just uses the time to meditate.

It’s on one particular trip to the park that it happens. He’s not even sure how he does it, just knows that he goes from buzzing from the inside out to shooting electricity from his fingertips. He lifts his hand up in wonder, trying to get a closer glimpse at the little iridescent bolts. He’s so enraptured that he doesn’t realize where his other hand is pointing. He doesn’t see the string of lightning hurtling straight toward his best friend.

Everything turns out fine in the end. The blast wasn’t strong enough – he isn’t strong enough – to fatally wound her, but Gina still gets brought straight to the hospital.

“I’m okay, Jake,” she insists with a huff, waving off his umpteenth apology. “Besides, I swear I met Raava in the two seconds your lightning hit me. Did you know she’d be ethnically ambiguous? The scrolls have not done her justice at all.”

Jake chuckles, accepting the jello cup she offers him.

For the most part, he’s glad that she’s fine and that she apparently met the Avatar Spirit and that she still likes him enough to give him her dessert.

Deep down, he feels terrible. He’s never going to lightningbend again.

---

Jake had assumed that he’d find his path in college and know what to do by the end of it. Instead, he’s a new graduate back in his childhood bedroom, freeloading off of his mom for as long as she’ll let him. He’s really just coasting through life and going through the motions, aimless.

Eventually, his clarity comes – not in a spark, but in a short-circuit fire erupting just a few houses away.

He’s woken up by loud sirens blaring and screams echoing in the night. He acts on instinct, running out before remembering to put shoes on and running into the blaze without a second thought. The ground should be blistering hot beneath his feet, but he doesn’t notice at all. He keeps going until he’s parting walls of flames, ushering the family of nonbenders to safety.

In the thick smoke rising from the still-burning house, he sees destruction. In his hands, for the first time in a long time, he sees something good.

He thinks that maybe he should join the local fire department, that he should use his bending to help control and extinguish rogue flames. He thinks about it, and then thinks about it some more, and then figures that he probably wouldn’t enjoy the constant reminder of how devastating fire can be.

Months after mulling over it, he finally comes to a decision: “Mom? I think I’m going to sign up for the police academy.”

“That sounds like a great idea, honey,” she replies, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I’m so proud of you.”

---

It’s rough because all the other trainees have been honing their bending for years, whereas he’d been spending most of his life trying to restrain the inferno inside him.

Most of them laugh; one of them actually slams him against the lockers and calls him a “sorry excuse for a firebender.”

“Don’t mind him,” a voice says. “He wouldn’t know a good bender if the Avatar kicked him straight into the Spirit World.”

Jake looks up from where he’s slumped on the ground and recognizes her as the fierce metalbender no one’s been able to talk to all week. There’s a distinctive scar through her right eyebrow, and he wonders whether it came from a freak accident. (He also wonders how she got into the men’s locker room, or how she knew he needed somebody, anybody.)

“I’m Rosa,” she says, reaching out a hand to help him up. “Wanna spar?”

---

He gets better.

He trains with any firebender that’ll take him on, watches instructional videos, goes on Yahoo! Answers… Soon enough, he’s wielding whirling discs and shooting comets of fire like the best of them.

The only thing he doesn’t even consider attempting is lightningbending. At least not until he’s in his thirties, watching wide-eyed as his new captain generates a cracking stream of electricity out of nothing. It’s just strong enough to stun the escaped convict they’ve been tailing, no real damage done.

“You want me to teach you how to lightningbend,” Holt says without preamble the next day.

Jake opens and closes his mouth dumbly, feeling thoroughly seen and not quite knowing how to respond.

“Before anything, Peralta, I should let you know that not everyone is able to manipulate lightning. It takes a different level of power and a certain kind of–”

“I can do it,” he interrupts quickly. “I’ve done it before, sir, when I was a kid. I just don’t know how to control it.”

Holt regards him for a long moment before nodding. “We start at seven tomorrow.”

---

Jake’s always thought that fire meant power and aggression and pursuit. Instead, it’s weakness when he’s face to face with particularly-skilled waterbenders – those who can render him useless, temporarily buried within thick sheets of ice; or who send downpours of unrelenting, freezing rain over his head.

(He thinks, as Amy smirks and bends a rapid torrent of water toward his sternum, flinging him halfway across the training room, that he’s weak for her in a different way.)

---

It had never occurred to him to measure the intensity of his flame. He’s always figured that the fire he produced was hot enough – hot enough to take down perps, hot enough to never turn the heat on in his apartment, hot enough to discreetly keep Amy’s coffee warm throughout the morning. (If she’s noticed him repeatedly finding excuses to pick up her mug, she hasn’t said anything about it.)

Charles, of all people, makes him check. “Hey Jake, do you know if you can keep a flame constant at say 350 to 425 degrees Fahrenheit?”

Jake turns away from his computer screen to look at him, his brow scrunched together in confusion. “Why?”

“I was thinking of doing an open-fire roast for the precinct’s Turkey Day dinner this year.”

“Boyle, you want me to firebend our main course?”

“It would make me so happy.”

Noting zero sarcasm in his response, Jake shrugs then swivels his chair back to his desk. “Okay, yeah– But ask Gina if we can book the training room for this. I’m not firebending a turkey in my apartment.”

---

It turns out that being a walking furnace really does have its perks. Or at least that’s what Jake realizes as Amy burrows into his side, pressing her nose into the crook of his neck.

“You’re warm,” she mumbles sleepily, exhausted from the day’s departmentally-mandated sparring practice and the just-as-steamy bedroom activities that followed.

(It had to have been well over their thousandth time facing off in the precinct gym, both of them familiar enough with each other that they could anticipate nearly all of their attacks… Except he really could never have foreseen Amy’s final move: completely disarming him, not with a tidal wave but with a kiss.)

“Warm?” he scoffs teasingly. “I think you mean hot.”

She groans loudly but cuddles closer to him still, her smile burning against his bare skin.

---

He gets thrown for a loop when their major serial murder case boils down to a ring of firebenders, all stuck in their old way of thinking.

“You’re not them,” Amy reminds him, running a gentle but steady hand down his back.

I could be, he thinks. Because even now – especially now – in the calm silence of the evidence lockup, he can feel the sheer power thrumming beneath his skin. All it would take is for him to get too angry or too drunk or too anything, and the worst could happen.

“You’re a good person, Jake,” she says, her tone more firm than before. “You always have been.”

He swallows thickly and nods, letting her pull him into a long embrace.

---

If there’s one thing he’s wished he could do with his firebending, it’s healing. He’s watched Amy do it countless of times, stepping up as the precinct’s unofficial healer whenever necessary. He’s felt the soothing power of it himself – cool water coaxing at his skin, repairing everything from a black eye to a bloody nose to a stiff back.

Right now, watching the love of his life start to bleed out before his eyes… He’s never felt more helpless.

“Damn it!” Jake yells, pushing his jacket into her side, willing the bleeding to stop. With the shooter knocked out and cuffed in the corner, he’s finally free to assess the damage. “When is the ambulance going to get there? You need a healer, now! ”

“J-Jake,” she chokes out, bringing a shaky hand to his clenched fist. “F-f-fire c-can cauter-r-rize.”

He lets out a sharp gasp, his eyes wide with shock. “You want me to burn you?!” He shakes his head vehemently. “No, Amy, no. It’s too dangerous. I could kill you–”

“Y-you won’t,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. The open trust in her eyes makes him want to sob. “Jake.”

“Okay,” he says, wiping hot tears with the back of his hand. “Okay.”

---

“Can you do the twinkling lights again, Uncle Jake? Pleeaaase?”

It’s bedtime at the Jeffords household, and two little girls are decidedly not asleep.

“Please, Uncle Jake? Aunt Amy? One last story and the twinkling lights?”

He meets Amy’s gaze and raises an eyebrow. She shrugs, her lips curling into a smile. “I suppose just one short book wouldn’t hurt. Right, Jake?”

He hums, feigning thought while glancing at the clock. “We might have just enough time before your daddy and mommy get back.”

Cagney and Lacey cheer as he switches off their bedside lamp, and then watch with glee as he fills their room with dozens of tiny, carefully-placed flames. He makes them flicker with a precise movement of his hands, makes them float like fireflies in the night sky.

The twins fall asleep soon enough, lulled by the soft tone of Amy’s voice and the amber glow of the lights.

Sometimes Jake forgets how enchanting fire can be.

---

Yet again, he’s at the mercy of a waterbender.

This time, it’s his daughter, only two-weeks-old and somehow already able to cause ripples and waves as she moves a tiny hand through the warm water in her tub. She lacks any real control, which is perhaps the biggest problem.

“Amy!” he calls out, equal parts awed and panicked. There’s nothing much he can do right now, apart from maybe distracting the baby with a dancing flame. (Not that he’d allow her anywhere near fire, at least not yet.)

---

“I’m going to be a waterbender like Mommy,” his son declares one day, with all the confidence of a child that’s crossed the jungle gym for the first time. He’s a little older than most kids are when they start bending, but it’s too early to be concerned about it; he could just be a late bloomer. (Granted, it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t start bending at all. They’d love him just the same if he were a nonbender.)

“How about firebending?” Jake jests lightly, feeling a bit wounded but also kind of relieved.

“Hmm, maybe,” Max shrugs, before running off again to play.

Of course, of course, when the boy eventually does start bending, it’s a scorching stream of fire that bursts from his small outstretched fist. He’d been mimicking the probenders they’d seen on TV the day before, copying their fighting stances down to a tee.

Jake meets his eyes and sees the same mixture of fear and amazement he’s come to know so well. He quickly takes control of the wild flame, tamping it down to a low ember before gently passing it back to his son.

Max nurses the glowing warmth between his two palms, staring at it in fierce concentration. It flares too-strong for a moment, then recedes but doesn’t fizzle out.

Jake nods at him and smiles, pride blossoming in his chest.

“That’s it. Use your breath, son.”

#b99 #b99 au #atla au #b99 fic #peraltiago #jake peralta #amy santiago #firebender!jake #waterbender!amy #my stuff #i took a break from the soulmate au redux and remembered i was 90% done with this au so!!!#i know this is kind of niche and totally self-indulgent #i had a lot of fun writing it and hope that someone out there enjoys reading it!

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