#i just realised ive been adding the wrong tag

[tonydaddingham]

the reading comprehension on this godforsaken website is genuinely insane. it's such shit ppl went after you for responding. fwiw you singlehandedly restored my faith in the GO fandom a little while back, some of the only well thought-out takes for miles (til i started clicking on the reblogs n found more). there was nothing wrong with defending yourself from people who didn't even read the meta. for something you put this much effort into, it'd be weirder not to be defensive

ive sat on the whole thing over the last dozen or so hours now, with a good mixture of upset, anger, some kind of numbness, and incredible amounts of anxiety. i posted that response out of the second; i was really angry, and i flew off the handle. whilst i don't appreciate being told by the other anon that i shouldn't be so attached/shouldn't have been so upset, they have a point, and were right to highlight (intentionally or not) at the very least that that is the root of the problem. i likened the fiasco to some secondary school bullshit, but i didn't realise - or want to acknowledge - that that applied to me too. the whole thing has reawakened ancient history that i thought i had gotten over years ago - more than a decade ago, even - and it very much turns out that that isn't the case, and was simply buried. the uncomfortable thing i also ran into is that the incident has made me re-examine myself with a little more, and definitely overdue, scrutiny - the post attacked at what i now think was my ego, and my over-confidence, and sense of entitlement. that's so uncomfortable to admit, but here we are.

i don't mind people disagreeing with me, but i still stand firm that i don't think sending an ask ridiculing someone, or adding tags that equally can be interpreted as being plain unkind, is a nice thing to do. it's shit - i felt humiliated, and self-conscious in a fandom that until this point, for all my controversial takes 😂 - had made me feel that i had a space to share them, and whilst may not be agreed with, would still be valued by nature of them belonging to a person. i have no doubt that everything on that post wasn't at all personal, but it still felt that what i had spent a lot of time, excitement, and joy writing was worthy of being laughed at, as if i were stupid for writing it (let me be clear - idc if people think the original post and the take within it is wrong, that's absolutely fair enough). it then called into question - what else have people been nice to me about, politely interacting with me about, and yet elsewhere those same people are being horrible about it?

that line of overthinking is entirely my issue, that's noone else's fault, but i do think that had these people just simply kept their opinion to a DM, or somewhere else where the original poster is unlikely/not going to see it, it might have all been avoided. people are entitled to share their opinion, i have no issues with that fact, but it can have consequences... just like the consequences of me rb'ing it once the anger had set in, and i ceased to think rationally. i am sorry that i reacted out of anger, without much - if any - rational thought; that it was bitchy as fuck, and - without the maelstrom of emotion attached to it, as it was from my perspective - it was objectively uncalled for. im embarrassed i reacted like that, and im aware that its only served to make me come across as even more ridiculous than the original post ever could 😂 but i want to settle in with what this has brought up, especially the shitty stuff that i thought i had long gotten over, and look at why i reacted the way i did - i think i was right to defend myself, but perhaps not in the way that i did.

as a separate note, and just really as a PSA to anyone waiting on me in my ask box or has sent me messages - im going to halt on posting any original posts/asks for a while (knowing me, because i can't help myself, a 'while' will probably be like a day). that's in part because im shitting bricks about posting anything in general (this ask response included), but also because - like i said before - i don't want to continue posting stuff when im now wondering how much is coming from a less-than-humble place - im worried that it's a lot more than i ever thought, which is vulnerable, but that's how it goes.

[margowritesthings]

Good Girl (pt. 1)

pairing: Arthur Morgan x fem!reader

word count: 752

warnings: suggestive, the explicit stuff will come in part 2!, death of a snake, shameless praise kink

a/n: ummmm yeah this is totally because of this video and I'm not even sorry. Ive been in a bit of a block so I thought just a lil drabble about Arthur would help!! Its gotten away from me a bit lol it's turning into a full blown thing but I'm out of my block yay!! as always thank you all for the lovely support and kind words on my work, it means the world <3

tagging: @musicallisto (i can't find the rest of my taglist!! i'm so sorry- please do drop me a message if you'd like to be added)

You spot the predator moments before Arthur does and seconds before his horse, but it is just too late. The snake hisses, Belle rears, and you’re forced to grip onto Arthur’s waist with enough force to surely bruise him. All the air is knocked from your lungs as your back hits the grass and you brace yourself for the weight of Arthur landing on top of you. You wince, but the second wave of impact never arrives, Arthur somehow managing to divert his fall to right beside you.

“Goddamn!” He curses, quickly rolling over in a panic to check you over, his large, calloused hands holding your cheeks as his eyes roamed over your features. “You alright?”

You just about manage to nod through his firm, concern-fuelled grip as the pain in your back begins to subside, “I’m fine. It was just a shock.” 

As soon as he knows you’re okay, Arthur turns his attention to Belle, the stunning white mare he loves most in the world (second only to you, of course). She is spooked, bucking and squealing as the serpent on the floor slides ever closer. Arthur is quick to throw the knife down, expertly hitting the poor thing in the head. A shudder runs down your spine as you watch the life leave its body, managing to identify it by the shape of its head as a highly venomous viper. Close call. 

The impact of your fall is still ringing in your ears, so you watch from the ground as Arthur holds his gloved hands up, slowly approaching the steed. His voice is low and gruff as he speaks to her, bravely stepping forwards, never faltering in his steady pace. “Easy girl, you’re alright…”

Belle begins to calm, allowing Arthur close enough to reach out and pat her gently on the neck. She softly neighs, almost nuzzling Arthur protectively. It’s a sight to behold, enough to warm your heart wonderfully. 

“Good girl.”

…oh.

The beating of your heart, originally from the sweetness of the moment, quickens and travels down, past your belly and manifests into being able to feel your pulse between your legs. 

Oh god.

You feel downright wanton, practically panting as you watch Arthur’s tanned hands gently caressing Belle’s neck and only seem to be able to picture them all over you while he whispers sweet praises. Is it weird to feel jealous of a damn horse? It feels so wrong and you’re almost certain your cheeks have become flourished with the deepest crimson but by God do you want to hear him say that to you. You always did love how kind Arthur was to animals, but what you’d just witnessed seemed to have unlocked some carnal need you certainly hadn’t expected to realise when you woke up this morning. 

“You sure you’re alright, darlin’? You ain’t hurt?” Arthur’s brows are pulled together when you drag your gaze from his fingers to his face. His features are saturated with worry and you can’t blame him when you realise you’re still sitting in the dusty mud, mouth agape and eyes wider than plates. You don’t even know how much time has passed, but considering how sedate Belle is, it must have been a while. 

A hand is extended towards you and you take it, letting Arthur pull you to your feet as you nod, “I’m good. Really. Just… flustered.” You reply honestly, though Arthur seems to think nothing of it as his hands grip your hips, helping you onto the saddle. Not that you need the help, but he’s ever the gentleman and you’re pretty sure he likes the excuse to hold you, even if just for a moment. 

There isn’t a verbal agreement that you’re switching places, but when you feel Arthur’s hard chest against your back and his arms snake around your waist, you instinctively shuffle into him and grab onto the reins.

“Shouldn’t be too long before we’re home now, I'll keep watch for any more snakes.” His breath tickles your neck, sending a shiver down your spine and not at all helping extinguish your growing arousal. You nod, nuzzling into him for just long enough for him to pick up on the silent request for a quick kiss on the cheek. It’s not nearly enough, but it’ll have to do for now. You kick your foot against Belle’s side and she sets off into a canter almost instantly, now seemingly feeling herself again. 

“Atta girl.” Damn, it’s going to be a long ride.

part 2

[another-writer]

Begin Again: Chapter 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Word count: 3.1k

We finally have a part 5 I think I could cry. I know this has been a long time coming. I’ve been away from Tumblr for a while and very recently have just felt an urge to finish this series and write a little more. I’m sorry to everyone who was waiting for the next part at how staggeredly this series is being posted. I really hope you guys read it and enjoy. As always, feedback is appreciated!

Warnings: Some pretty kind-of-graphic descriptions of blood and dizziness, stitches (skip the first few paragraphs and then there’ll be a couple in italics further down)

Tags are at the bottom, let me know if I’ve missed you or if you’d like to be tagged :)

You kept one arm locked around your abdomen and the thin razor-like slash where blood was pooling and sticking to your shirt. Your other hand was gripping the bar of your motorbike with as much strength as possible as you cruised sloppily at an alarmingly decreasing speed back to the compound. Noise in your ears was starting to mute; the afternoon sun began to dim.

The words of the stranger ringing alarm bells in your head and making you go dizzy. Your vision was getting hazy. You pulled up onto the side of the road after half an hour and tripped over your own feet as you sat down against a concrete barrier and tried to regulate your breathing; with trembling hands from blood loss, tore the left sleeve of your shirt and wrapped it tightly around your midsection. Blood painted the palm of your left hand and seeped quickly through your makeshift gauze. It felt like there was a lead block in your gut. God, you couldn’t breathe.

You wanted to make it back to the compound, but you knew it wasn’t wise. You leaned back so you were lying down as your head felt heavier and after taking a few deep breaths, you pulled your phone from your pocket; you called for an ambulance and then, unsure of how long they would take, you called Sam.

When you regained consciousness, you were in the compound’s hospital wing. In your peripheral vision was Sam.

As fuzzy as your mind was, all you could think was, Did the ambulance turn up?

‘It did.’

Sam’s voice was distant but it jolted you back to reality; your clothes were so sticky and the gauze was soaked in your blood and the dark spots you had started to see were clouding your vision. 

‘I need to see Tony,’ you said breathlessly. 

'FRIDAY, I need Stark in the med bay.’

Your eyelids were starting to droop again, as though they were being weighed down. 

‘Sam ...’ you breathed.

‘I’m here,’ he said. ‘The stitches tore when we transported you here; close your eyes, keep breathing, I’m gonna re-do them.’

You rested as Sam injected your abdomen with a numbing agent and fished a suture kit from a med cart. Your mouth was dry. There were concentrated traces of blood still on your hands. Your abdomen still stung but you relaxed as as the numbing around it grew while Sam stitched your wound.

You peeled your shirt back down after he finished wrapping gauze around you, sitting up when you spotted Tony march in looking less than happy.

‘What the hell happened?’ he demanded.

You, in all honesty, were still trying to comprehend the situation yourself.

‘Let her breathe, Tony,’ Sam warned, demeanour easing slowly as you began to regain a healthy colour in your complexion. 

Once the overwhelming nausea passed, you opened your eyes, blinking heavily. 

‘You remember those agents you caught wind of?’ you murmured, voice unable to go any louder. 

Tony blinked and furrowed his eyebrows; he turned back to Sam as if unnerviced by his presence, who pursed his lips as he hooked you up to an IV and then disposed of his gloves. It seemed to shake Tony out of his angry bravado.

‘Where?’ he asked more calmly.

‘Queens,’ you replied. ‘Some strip mall, pretty remote.’

Sam passed you what seemed to be a granola bar. You stared at him.

‘We keep snacks here.’

‘This doesn’t count as a snack.’

‘Your low blood sugar says it does.’

‘My low blood sugar can speak for itself and it’s saying it wants a brownie.’ 

‘Brownies later,’ Tony grunted. ‘Did they say anything?’

Your hands were still numb from the blood loss; Sam noticed how pale they were and he held your left hand and began massaging the tips of your fingers and easing you into making a fist slowly, stimulating the bloodflow back into your fingers. As he did so, you clenched your right hand into a fist on your own, getting the feeling back.

It was all so fuzzy in your mind, you could barely remember the details.

‘Most of their conversation was in Russian,’ you said. ‘But to me, they mentioned you ...’ Your stomach shrank. ‘They talked about a soldier, I think. When I remembered you guys had got intel on Hydra agents around here, I sort of pieced it together.’

You bit a chunk off the granola bar held loosely in your right hand and chewed slowly, finding it difficult to eat but the numbing of your fingers told you that you had to get something in your system before you passed out.

Tony clenched his jaw and squeezed your hand, staying silent. He wouldn’t meet your eyes.

‘They wouldn’t come here, would they?’ you asked. ‘I mean, who actually knows the compound’s location?’

‘It’s not Hydra’s style to start a siege,’ Sam dismissed, seemingly unthrown by the information that only Tony supposedly knew. ‘It is ours, though.’

‘Which means we have to find where their base is.’

Your words pulled Tony back to earth. ‘You’re staying here. I’ll figure it out.’

You rolled your eyes dismissively. ‘Could you not act like the hero this time and just -’

‘You’re staying here,’ he interrupted sharply. 

Your mouth was open but no words came out. Tony had never used that tone with you. It was almost parental,which was unfamilar territory from him. 

Tony was breathing steadily. ‘I can’t send you home in case they find you,’ he said, almost to himself as if thinking out loud.

‘Barnes wanted to see you,’ he muttered, making a point of looking away and tapping the screen of his watch. ‘FRIDAY’ll alert him that you’re up.’

Having stayed quiet with your thoughts for a moment, you found they were culminating, and said, ‘Can I have, like, fifteen minutes on my own, please?’

Your voice was so small that Tony looked up at you with mounting concern in his eyes; trying to stay calm for you, he asked, ‘Are you okay?’

You felt your eyebrows crease, and a slight pressure in your throat, but you nodded, not in the mood to talk at that moment. There was still dry blood on your hands and your entire torso was sore. You felt suspended from everything around you as the last hours began to sink uncomfortably in your memory.

‘Fifteen minutes, and we’ll figure it out,’ you managed. When you were alone, you leaned back and closed your eyes, breathing in and out at regular intervals through your nose.

Perhaps Tony felt that giving you more time than you asked was inappropriate given the context, and that he was too worried to leave you alone. You had moved with difficulty to a chair by the window, cupping a glass of water, needing to hold onto something, as if you didn’t know what to do with your hands.

He knocked on the door gently and opened it a fraction, giving you time to protest before he walked in and closed it behind him

‘Tony,’ you began hesitantly, ‘I don’t know if it’s a good idea to keep anything from the others anymore.’

‘We’ll get to that,’ he said, pulling a chair next to where you sat. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Nothing is where it shouldn’t be,’ you said, smiling lightly, heart dropping when Tony didn’t return the sentiment.

‘I don’t want you hurt,’ Tony said, ‘you can fight me all you want on keeping you away from what we do but you’re not gonna win.’ He looked thoughtful, mapping out his words carefully in his mind as he tapped his chin in uneven increments. ‘But I need you to know that we can protect you from getting shot. What none of us can control is how you feel.’ He let out a heavy breath and leaned forward, his next words important. ‘It’s my job to do what you did today, it is not yours. I can’t have you in my position.’

You bit the inside of your cheek, turned to place the glass on the window sill, needing a second to look away from him, and then breathed out steadily. ‘Tony, I’m so sorry.’

‘You haven’t done anything wrong.’ He shrugged hesitantly. ‘It’s weird, right?’

You couldn’t help but smirk, huffing a short breath from your nose at his words, you rubbed your eyes with your forefinger and thumb and rested your cheek on your hand.

‘’ve never been in that position before,’ you murmured, eyes watering slightly. ‘In case it wasn’t obvious,’ you added. Your words made his eyes soften, like he was relieved you were talking to him. ‘I dunno ... I knew who they were and what they wanted but, I didn’t want them dead.’

‘And I never want you to have to make a choice like that.’

You bit your lip and asked hesitantly, ‘Does that make me a hypocrite?’

‘Look, sometimes we have to make tough choices,’ he replied, ‘which is what you did. Not wanting to do it again but knowing that you can rely on the rest of us here - that doesn’t make you a bad person.’

You nodded, unsure of what to say. ‘Are you okay?’

Tony looked at you. ‘I will be.’ After a beat, he added, ‘I should call a meeting. You up for it?’

You blinked, eyebrow raised, his question throwing you off.

‘You want me there?’

‘Frankly, I’ll need you for this one.’

It took you a while longer than usual to stand and make your way to the living room where everyone else was waiting, even with Natasha helping you. With what Tony had told you before, that Ross controlled what information was shared and what was withheld, you realised only he, Rhodes, and Natasha were of those present who knew what was happening.

Bucky’s face paled when he saw you sat in an armchair; perhaps he had been filled in, but you weren’t sure. You supposed you simply wore the last couple of hours on your face.

‘Jesus Christ,’ he swore under his breath. ‘Tony said that you ...’ Bucky breathed out heavily, running a hand through his hair. ‘Are you okay? What happened to you?’ His fingers went under your chin, tilting your head up slightly and he frowned, running his thumb with the softest touch over your jaw. You almost winced and figured a bruise must have formed.

You bit the inside of your cheek and shielded your nerves. Now definitely wasn’t the time to go all googly-eyed - especially since the rest of the team were filtering in. You had to figure out how to be careful about this - how to disguise the fact that you were all hiding something from Bucky. Not only you, but Tony as well.

‘In my defence,’ you tried. ‘A lot of people hate Tony.’

‘Why would they go after you?’ Bucky asked, sitting on the stool in front of you, his eyes flitting from yours and then down to your wounded abdomen where there was still a blood stain, the concern ever-prominent.

You weren’t sure yourself. But you supposed that even after it’s official collapse, Hydra had methods of reviving information. Then again, you weren’t supposed to allude that Hydra had made a move on you.

‘I’ve been in and out of the compound before,’ you guessed. ‘I’ve been with out Tony, they must have guessed that I’m close to him.’

‘What did they want?’ But it sounded like less of a question and more like Bucky had already hazarded his own guesses.

You were interrupted (or perhaps saved) by Tony.

‘I want it on the record that everyone who signed the Accords technically hasn’t done anything wrong,’ Tony began, ‘because [Y/N]’s the one who called us here.’

‘Thanks,’ you deadpanned, rolling your eyes at the sudden spotlight on you.

You hoped that everyone’s reaction would be as nonchalant as Sam’s was; you expected it as such, they weren’t incredibly dramatic people. Relatively speaking. But you worried about how Bucky would react to you keeping something like this from him. You knew logically that you didn’t owe him anything, but you remembered a fear of his was having the past several decades repeat themselves; techincally, you had kept a secret related to that fear. But there wasn’t much you could do except tell the truth now with Tony’s blessing - if you had done so before, you might have compromised the agreement he had made.

‘There’s a Hydra base in the state,’ you said. ‘Or, we think it’s Hydra. The only reason you don’t know is because those guys got the info on a recon mission and they were bound by the agreement not to tell you.’

It was, by a longshot, the most intimidating situation you had ever been in. You quickly realised that Steve could be almost scary when you weren’t on his good side.

‘How long have you guys known for?’ he asked, seeming to direct his frigitidy towards Tony, Natasha and Rhodes, more so than you.

‘Not long,’ said Natasha.

‘How long is a long time? It’s all relative, so I never know,’ Tony supplemented.

Bucky’s complexion paled and his breath hitched quietly but like his throat was caught in a vice-like grip. His tongue ran over his lips as he hesitated with what to say. You weren’t sure whether to prompt him or to keep going without addressing him directly.

‘How did you find out?’ Steve asked you.

‘I was curious?’ you said, almost as if guessing if that was the right answer to Steve’s question. ‘Tony’s the one who trained me, obviously I was able to get through his security - he’s just lucky I don’t hate him otherwise it could’ve turned out very differently for you guys.’

‘And you were stabbed.’

‘Yeah, thanks Tony, and I was stabbed in Queens. And they mentioned the word ‘soldier’, so make of that what you will.’

‘How many are we looking at here?’

‘We can’t tell you that,’ said Natasha. ‘Less than what we’ve seen before.’

‘Bucky?’ you prompted softly, pressing your fingers into his gently, uneasy with his minimal response. 

‘’m fine,’ he said. And his stoic demeanour told you that he wasn’t fine but he wasn’t also wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t news to him, it was confirmation. ‘So why hasn’t anything happened since?’ 

Tony was stone-faced. ‘We answer to someone else now. And they wanted to wait.’

‘Well now that we know, we’ll take it into our own hands.’ You wondered if Steve had meant to sound so commanding, or if he automatically went into his military mode by habit.

Tony didn’t seem to have an issue. ‘FRIDAY can run a scan but without fingerprints or hair, there’s no chance of finding a match.’ 

You picked up on the momentum in the room and figured you could check up on Bucky afterwards; right now all that would seem to make him relax was a decent plan. As you shifted in your seat, your stitches making your abdomen feel itchy, you held your hand over the area trying to soothe it, catching sight of the state of your hands. They looked disgusting, but you also had an idea.

‘Well,’ you began cautiously, ‘... how about a blood sample?’

You cried out when you felt the man sharply drag the knife across your abdomen, a blunt, stinging pain echoing from your torso to your ears. Without even thinking, you kicked your legs out, slamming your heel on the man’s foot, causing his grip around your neck and on your hands to disappear, and kicking the back of his right knee, knocking him to the side. You held him swiftly by the back of his neck and kneed him in his groin, reached behind you and threw your coffee over his eyes and swiped the knife from his grip. 

You grabbed the chair next to you and threw it across at the barista, leaping between his legs, dodging his right hook and grabbing his left fist, pushing him back and making him lose his balance, and stabbing the knife through the bridge of his foot, ears ringing with the pitch of his screech. You kicked him down and slammed his head with the chair, knocking him out cold. 

Blood had slowly began to gather across your stomach but you ignored the pain as you twirled the knife between your fingers and sliced it through the first man’s back, pushing him backwards so that he fell on his front side, breathing heavily as you tried to keep yourself conscious. You kept an eye on him as you edged to the other side of the room to retrieve your phone, and as you walked out of the door. Both men didn’t move an inch.

You held out your right arm, your fingertips stained with not your blood, but his. ‘There’ll be some on the edge of my sleeve from the jacket I was wearing,’ you added airily as if you were commenting on the weather.

You had more attention now than ever. And you didn’t like it.

‘I left them alive,’ you said. ‘Just, self-defence and all.’

Tony sighed, rubbing his hand over his heart. Panic attack. ‘Nice work,’ he muttered eventually, voice distant. ‘Bruce, think you could -?’

You watched Tony and Bruce leave, unsure if you were more worried about Tony and the inevitable stress this would cause him, or angry that he was trying to be overly noble and protective. You were distracted by Bucky sliding his hand away from yours, missing the warmth of his calloused palm.

‘How do you feel?’ he asked quietly.

The adrenaline rush had already worn down. You had single-handedly wielded a knife and taken down two trained agents. It was messy, and you were scared and alone. You still felt scared because of what could happen next. As much as you knew they were bad people, you didn’t have it in yourself to leave them dead. You were worried they had died after you left.

‘I’m sorry you didn’t know,’ you said, ‘and about what happened to you. But I - I dunno, I couldn’t kill them.’

Bucky huffed shortly from his nose, taken aback by your reply. ‘They were trained, there’s no way you could have -’

‘Bucky, no, that’s not what I meant,’ you said, a lump developing in your throat. ‘I mean,’ you cleared your throat, trying to speak casually, ‘you’re right, they were much better than I was. But,’ you shook your head, ‘I didn’t want them dead because of me.’

Not wanting to focus on yourself too much, you turned the conversation before Bucky could reply. ‘How d’you feel?’

Bucky, thankfully, picked up on your discomfort, and he shrugged in reposne to your question. ‘Part of me isn’t surprised,’ he said wryly. ‘You don’t have to tread so lightly around me, I thought you knew that.’

‘No, I did, I just ...’

‘[Y/N], I don’t need to be treated like I’m fragile.’

‘I’m sorry,’ you muttered; for some reason the words were bitter in your mouth. You didn’t exactly enjoy apologising and frankly, you were embarrassed and ashamed with yourself that Bucky now saw you as someone who treated him like glass.

‘I didn’t mean to make you feel like that,’ you said sincerely. ‘s just that you said you were afraid of this happening and I didn’t want to ... be the bearer of bad news,’ you said pathetically. 

‘I can take it, okay? I can’t deal with a problem if I don’t know it exists.’

You weren’t sure what exactly Bucky was feeling but, there was an underlying hostility in his voice that you weren’t sure if you were imagining or not.

‘Sergeant Barnes, Mr Stark needs you in the main lab.’

The AI’s voice rang out from all around the room. 

You quirked an eyebrow. ‘Tony has FRIDAY calling you Sergeant?’

Bucky blinked, coming out of his thought process. ‘I-I know, right?’ he said, sounding uneasy. ‘I was kind of expecting ...’

‘Frosty?’ you guessed. ‘Popsicle?’

Bucky flicked you lightly on the forehead, and you gasped mockingly at him.

‘Looks like Tony found him.’

‘What makes you say that?’

‘He didn’t ask me to come,’ you said.

The conversation you had had with Tony weighed heavily on your shoulders. The last thing you wanted was for him to worry about you.

Tags: @lauraonly @mytastereckless @hedakylo @wefracturedmotivation @eternal-queen @dontfuckwithkezolas @fanfictionreblog @mrs-brxghtside @sociallyimpairedme @lexbugz @ephemeral-high @engineeringgirlcve @sleepretreat @rosemist​ @kayuwu-nii​ @holyheadharpiesplayer @thesummerbucky​ @aspoonfuloflanguage​ @baebeepeach @cdwmtjb8​ @jihugawa​ @genisawkward​ @beezyg​ @disgustingpatdstan​ @letterstomyself21​ @shesthelastjedi​ @forever157​ @hawkeyethenerd-blog​ @d-eracine​ @merandalynnvarela @ijustwantahugfromtennant​ @shirukitsune​ @buckysblondie​ @thatoneslytherinbeater​ @fantasticchaoticwho​ @mischiefsthings​ @buckysonfire @benedrylcumbersnatch​ @marvel-fan-queen​ @nutellakirb​ @casssr​ @our-neverland-world​ @ifont @multisposts​ @whyugottabsorude @gothemmafrost​ @buckyyyybarnestrash @millie-m-falcon77​ @multifangorl​ @ohnosiren​ @kynthiasaints​ @topthis808​

[nobeliumoxygenoxygenmisc]

Kagaminette || A certain taste

For fictober event @fictober-event

Prompt number: 9 “There is a certain taste to it.” Fandom: Miraculous ladybug Rating: General Warnings/Tags/Ships: None, Kagami x Marinette 

Kagami tries out baking for the first time and it turns out… well, Marinette will tell her (or try to). (>1k words)

--

This was fun, Kagami thought with a smile, closing the oven door in satisfaction before turning to Marinette, who was smiling fondly at her. "Now we wait?"

"Yep!" Marinette said cheerfully. But then she blinked, a giggle escaping her throat as Kagami wondered what exactly it was that had prompted such a reaction. "But first, let's maybe clean ourselves up. And the kitchen," She added, gesturing to themselves and to the Dupain-cheng's kitchen that did look like a storm had gone through it. Kagami had never seen such a mess before, and she grimaced, wondering just how they'd get through it, when Marinette continued, "Though, it's not as bad as I expected."

She turned to her, surprised. "Really?" 

Marinette nodded, already gathering some of the used equipment. "You should have seen when I baked with Alya. It looked terrible in here!" She laughed. "And she said she totally had it. You've never baked before, right Kagami?" Kagami nodded. "See? This is really good for your first try!" 

On instinct, Kagami fought the smile before remembering to let it be. Her stomach warmed all of a sudden, the compliment making her surprisingly happy, considering how many compliments she received on the daily. But then again, those were for things she already knew she was good at (things she had to be good at); fencing, grades, archery... baking, on the other hand, was something she was completely new at.

The kitchen was cleaned up and the aprons taken off, the two going back into the living room where they continued playing the video game Marinette had said was Ultimate Mecha Strike Three. 

Now that was something Kagami was not the most proficient at. Marinette seemed to win every round, except for one where Kagami had instantly known she'd gone easy on and had called her out for. Not that Kagami cared too much about the losing; it was fun, regardless. Especially without the need to be the best. 

This whole day was fun, she thought again.

The timer went off, startling Marinette almost off her seat, Kagami concerned before she paused the game, laughing nervously. "Oops, guess I was too caught up, huh?"

"You were concentrating. That's a good thing," Kagami said, earning another laugh. 

They went back into the kitchen, her heart beating as Marinette eagerly took out their trays and laid it on the counter. She was unusually excited for this; it wasn't as if her cupcakes were going to be the best things ever (in truth, she doubted how good they'd taste because they just did not seem the same as Marinette's), but... she was excited and she really, really hoped they did taste, at the very least, decent. 

"Here." Marinette gave her a pink icing bag, her smile nothing but encouraging. "You can follow my lead, or you can make any sort of design you want, it's completely up to you!" 

She nodded, watching Marinette for a moment then deciding that she would go her own path. Taking the bag, she steadied herself before carefully putting the icing on. She waited again, wondering about what exactly she was allowed to use before Marinette's voice interrupted her thoughts. 

"Feel free to use anything on the counter Kagami," She said. "If there's something else you want, we probably have it so just ask and I can try and find it!" 

Kagami flushed, reaching out to get some oreo bits; had she been so transparent that Marinette could read her so easily? She must have been.

She ignored the thoughts, focusing. It didn't matter. Marinette was kind, and nice, and cute, and non-judgemental. She could let her guard down around her, she told herself.

It was a few minutes more before she was done, stretching a bit after having leaned down for so long, realising as she did so that Marinette was looking at her cupcakes with wide eyes. She glanced between her and the pink and red black-spotted cupcakes; had she done something wrong? She wasn’t normally this self-conscious, she knew, but baking was Marinette’s expertise and definitely not something she was even remotely well-practiced in.

"Are they..." Marinette began, hesitantly. "Are they Ladybug themed?"

Kagami smiled, the smile coming on naturally at the mention of the superhero. "Yes. I look up to her, so I decided to decorate them based on her." 

Marinette seemed to beam, grinning. "That's really awesome, Kagami. I'm sure she'd love them."

"That would be nice, if she tried them." It would, but she pushed her hopes down, foolish as they were. As if she'd get an opportunity to give Ladybug some. And furthermore, "I must improve before even thinking of giving her one." Something flickered in Marinette's eyes, but she couldn't quite decipher it, even as Marinette asked to try one. She blinked, slightly confused. "Of course. It was only with your kindness that I could make them, after all. I would say they are also yours."

Marinette waved her hand. "Pfft, but you made these all on your own! They're still yours." She took a bite, her eyes widening as something even more unreadable flashed across her face.

Kagami waited. And waited, as Marinette chewed and swallowed, and suddenly her stomach sank, realisation dawning. "There's something wrong with it, isn't there?"

Marinette coughed. "Wha-wha-whaaat? No! Of course not! They're great! I've--I've never quite tasted anything like it! There's a certain taste to it--they're super dummy--yummy! Yummy! Delicious, I mean--"

Kagami held up a hand, conflicting feelings of disappointment but also strange fondness warring in her heart (she didn’t want to admit it, but she knew she had been expecting a brisk scolding, even though by all rights a failed cupcake should not have warranted such a reaction). "It's fine, Marinette. I understood I wouldn't be as good as I hoped in my first try." She raised her hand again as Marinette opened her mouth. "You don't have to spare my feelings. I'll know as soon as I try them, anyways."

She deflated, bashful. "...You're right. Sorry, Kagami." 

Kagami shook her head. "Don’t apologise. I'm thankful you tried, but please remember you don't have to do that with me." She took a cupcake herself, and bit into it, thoughtful as she chewed. 

Yes, there was something off about it. Maybe she hadn't put enough sugar? That must have been it. But she had followed all the instructions as best she could, though, how could she have... she pushed those thoughts away. No, it was alright to get things wrong. There were second chances, she reminded herself, looking at Marinette as she offered her an encouraging smile. 

At least, in Marinette's home there was. 

Then she noticed something else. "Are your cupcakes based on the superheroes as well?"

Marinette brightened, nodding vigorously. "Yep! I tried to keep it as close to their designs as possible... can you recognise them?" 

Of course she did, looking at the black and gold one that was clearly Chat Noir; the green Carapace one with the pattern of a turtle shell; an orange and white one for Rena Rouge; yellow and black, the icing positioned like a stinger for Queen Bee; and even a few more she vaguely recognised, perhaps for the newer heroes that she had heard rumours about but hadn't seen yet (besides herself, obviously).

And then her eyes widened at the one she had previously assumed was Ladybug's. But no, Ladybug had no yellow on her costume whatsoever, and this one had four pieces of candy corn on the sides just like... Ryuko. Her.

"Is there something wrong?" Marinette asked, her voice soft and nervous. Kagami blinked out of her thoughts.

"No," She said finally, looking into Marinette's eyes and, if she could look at herself, she might have been quite possibly beaming. "They look amazing."

Marinette smiled, the happiness on her face setting off something even warmer in Kagami's heart. "I'm glad."

--

fourth one for fictober i think? ive written more than i thought i would (and way more kagaminette too 😂). thank u for reading and hoped u enjoyed!!

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 27)

Jemima Jones IV

Another con! This one with Micah. This chapter contains criminal activity and mature topics of conversation. 

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

When I woke up, it was to Hosea's voice and gentle shaking of my shoulder. I'd fallen asleep in the chair by Arthur's bed, head cradled by my folded arms up against the nearest storage crate. I blearily lifted my head and blinked at my surroundings, momentarily confused. I remembered quickly, though, eyes immediately finding Arthur who was laying awake already, the morning sun pouring through the canvas of his tent. 

"There she is, thought I was gonna have to toss a bucket of water. Out like a light, though I don't know how, that can't be comfortable," Hosea greeted me, gesturing to the twisted, hunched position I'd woken up in. I stretched and grunted, putting my spine back in the right order, it felt like.

"Sorry, I'm in the way," I noted, realising the man was here to check on Arthur. 

I stood up and ambled past him, letting him sit down in my place.

"Surprised it ain't Grimshaw bustin' in here, putting you to work. It's late," Arthur said as Hosea gingerly pulled back his wound's dressing. 

"It is?" I murmured guiltily. "I should start on my chores."

"She knows you're not slacking, I think a late start is perfectly acceptable given the circumstances," Hosea assured me, pressing the back of his hand to Arthur's forehead.

"You have my permission to milk this," Arthur said, and I snorted.

"I don't mind chores," I shrugged, watching as Hosea tilted Arthur's head up and felt around under his jaw, checking for swollen glands. 

"Well, there's no sign of infection so far. How're you feeling?" He asked.

"'Bout as well as you'd expect."

"You're in pain, I imagine, but other than that?" Hosea clarified, gaining a one-shouldered shrug from Arthur. "Okay. Well, let us know if you start feeling unwell."

"Will do." 

"We'll get you some food, you gotta eat to get your strength up," Hosea patted his forearm then stood up.

"I ain't hungry," Arthur grimaced. "Especially not for whatever Pearson's rustling up."

"I don't care. We'll make you some oatmeal."

"I'll slice up some apple to go in, to sweeten it up and make it taste of something," I added.

"I don't need no fuss, just leave me here to fester and I'm sure I'll surface in a couple weeks," Arthur grumbled. I sighed and walked over to him, leaning over his bed. 

"Let us take care of you, Arthur. Everyone cares about you making a recovery," I told him softly. He blinked up at me, an unhappy crease in his forehead.

"Who'll still care when I need someone to stop me rolling into a ditch when I'm trying to take a damn piss?" He grumbled. My brows raised and I paused for a moment before shrugging. 

"I'll help you," I said. Arthur snorted.

"Uh, no. You won't. I draw the line there," he hissed. I straightened up and nodded in acceptance. 

"I'll do it. You go and make him that oatmeal," Hosea volunteered, patting my elbow and sending me on my way. "Come on, big guy."

I heard Arthur's groan of frustration as I left, and Hosea began helping him to his feet. I felt awful, seeing him so reliant on others when it was clear to me he was fiercely independent and did not like to trouble those he cared about. I wished he would see that he wasn't putting anyone out. He was injured, and we wanted to help. 

I prepared his oatmeal and brought it to him, he was pleased that he didn't need it feeding to him, because once he was propped up on some pillows he could use his good arm to feed himself. He waved me off to go about my day, though I felt reluctant to leave him alone in his tent. I did notice other members of the gang going in and keeping him company every now and then, though, notably Charles, John and Javier. Dutch too, of course, as well as the girls. They brought him books to read and candy to lift his spirits. Jack had visited with Abigail, and I was standing close enough that I could hear his curious questions and Arthur's sweet patience in answering them. Even the one asking whether he could see through the hole in his shoulder. I was pretty sure I'd seen everyone at least poke their head into the tent to ask how he was feeling. Even Micah.

A week or so passed and he was slowly getting better, more mobile. He was still confined to his bed for the most part, mainly under the orders of Hosea who insisted he take it easy and avoid unnecessary strain. I kept Arthur company most evenings, sometimes falling asleep in his tent, but whenever he caught me dozing before he fell asleep he'd send me to my bedroll. In the daytime, sometimes he'd venture out of the tent to stretch his legs and keep from going completely mad, but he'd lost a fair amount of blood and taken quite a beating and he tired easily, so his walks were short and few.

I hadn't left camp since my trip into town to get those supplies for Arthur, and I felt stir-crazy, not used to being in the same place without a change of scenery. I spared a lot of thoughts for Arthur at that, wondering if he felt the same way. I had been doing general chores around camp to do my bit, but I certainly felt ready for something different halfway through the second week of such routine. So, when Micah approached me one afternoon when I was sat by Arthur doing some sewing, I was inclined to agree with whatever scheme he had cooking up. 

"Reckon I could pull you away from the resident colander for a few hours?" He'd greeted us, gaining a stern look from myself and complete ignorance from Arthur. 

"Depends, it gonna get me out of here?" I replied. 

"Of course. I've been itching for another one of our jobs, we always work so well together, you and I," he touted, voice a praising drawl.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, seeing Arthur's chest rise in a heavy breath from the corner of my eye. I glanced at him, and he was just staring at the top of the tent from his reclined position in bed. I realised how rude it was to discuss getting out of camp while Arthur had no option to do so, so I quickly rose to my feet, leaving my sewing on the table next to me. 

"Well, actually–"

"We should leave Arthur in peace," I quickly interjected, giving Arthur a nod and a smile before I left. He just watched me go with an expression I couldn't read. 

As we walked away, Micah continued, "I was thinking we could go to the Parlour House, pull a little something like you did with John."

"Yeah? Like what?" I asked. He stopped walking and turned to face me head on, an impish smile on his face. I stared blankly for a moment, then cocked my brow. "Oh, you want me to think of something?"

"You have such a way with these things," he flattered me, putting his hands on my upper arms and giving them an encouraging squeeze. 

I brought my hand up to my mouth, idly running my fingers across my lips in thought. Micah's tongue peeked out, brushing against the bristles of his moustache at the corner of his mouth as he stared at me expectantly. I shrugged his hands off of me, a frown forming on my face. 

"Give me a second, I hate being put on the spot," I grumbled, eyes flittering around the camp for a source of inspiration, as if the perfect plan would jump out at me from the sight of Molly preening in the mirror, or Charles constructing fire arrows, or Swanson tripping over his own feet as he stumbled by, singing a loud, slurred song.

My lips curved into a smile when magically, an idea did emerge at the glint of light bouncing off a beer bottle in Uncle's hand. 

Gathering the materials for the con was easy enough. I found an empty box in one of the wagons and asked around for any pretty gift bags; which Molly could provide. I asked Uncle to drain his beer, wrapped the bottle in a piece of cloth and swung it against the ground so it shattered. Finally, I poured the broken glass into the box, sealed it up, and put it away in the gift bag; all the while, Micah followed me around camp, curious and confused, but quiet. 

"Train station," I said to Micah once the prop was ready and he gave me a quizzical look. "It's better than the Parlour House, plus I don't wanna seem suspicious, in case anyone saw what I did last time."

"Sure, you gonna explain what we're doing?" He cocked a brow. 

"On the way," I smirked, then padded off to dress in something a little prettier; corset, petticoat and all, with a few pieces of borrowed jewellery too. 

-

We arrived by horseback at the train station and I'd brought Micah up to speed. He'd laughed at my plan, not out of malice but because he thought it was brilliant. We were sat in the train station, waiting for the right time to strike. We needed someone who looked like they had money, of course, and with the town being close to Saint Denis, I was sure we'd find someone suitable passing through the station.

I left it to Micah to pick the mark, he sat by me, watching the doors behind us and preparing to give the signal for me to move. It was a simple plan, neat and tidy how I liked them with little room for things to go wrong, relying on acting skills. I was sitting in my finest clothes with the gift bag on my lap and my back to the doors, even Micah had dressed up a little sharper than usual just to add to the believability of our job. I was well rehearsed, having pulled a similar job on my own before I'd joined the gang, excited anticipation twisted in my stomach and made me feel just a little bit sick. 

Micah's knee suddenly bumped against mine; it was show time. Without so much as a pause I suddenly rose to my feet, turning to step out from the end of the bench without a glance back. There was a thump and a crash, of course, the pretty gift bag hitting the ground just a second after a body collided with my own. I stumbled for effect, crying out as I tumbled onto my side, hip hitting the floor, limbs sprawling out and making one heck of a scene. Heads turned, the man who'd bumped into me froze, eyes widening and a number of emotions passing across his face. Shock, confusion, annoyance. 

"Watch where you're damn well going, woman!" He yelled at me, not giving a fig about the fact I was laying on the floor. Ah, well at least I didn't have robbing a kind gentleman on my conscience.

I winced, shifting onto my other side and rubbing at my hip, then froze, eyes settling on my bag.

"No!" I shouted, moving quickly to grab the bag, making sure that everyone could hear the tinkling of broken glass as I moved it. 

"Angel, are you alright?" Micah was quick to jump into action, crouching down next to me and putting his hand on my shoulder. 

"I'm… I'm fine. I'll probably have a bruise but I'll live. That's more than I can say for my gift," I told him sadly, holding the bag up to him. Micah's head swivelled to the man. 

"Don't just stand there, you moron!" He spat, shaming the man into reaching out, taking my elbow in his hand and working with Micah to help me back to my feet. 

"I didn't even get to open it!" I bemoaned, staring down at the bag in my hands. 

"Oh… oh, I'm sorry, angel. These things happen, maybe we can, uh, buy you a new one," Micah said, his tone edged with nervousness. "Just sit yourself down, dear, that was a nasty fall."

Micah guided me into my seat, as everyone stared, gawping. The mark fidgeted in his spot, cheeks reddening as people scowled and tutted at him. 

"You, uh, you alright, ma'am?" He asked awkwardly. I kept my head down, turning away just a bit as if to pretend he wasn't there.

"You just yelled at the poor girl, leave her be, let's you and I just have a little chat," Micah grumbled at him, taking the bag from me and shoving the guy's shoulder to get him moving in the opposite direction.

Despite him being on the other side of the room, I could hear every word from Micah's mouth. He wasn't concerned about being quiet, the more onlookers the better. 

"You any idea how much this thing cost? How long I scrimped and saved to straggle together enough cash to make my lady's birthday a special one?" He began, shaking the rattly bag for effect. 

"Hey, she stood up right in fr–"

"Don't you for one second think about blaming her for this. Be a man! Take responsibility!" He snapped his interruption then gave a heavy sigh. "She's been wanting it for weeks, it's this pretty little vase from this place in Saint Denis…"

"Are you alright, miss?" A gentleman nearby asked, distracting me from my eavesdropping. 

"Oh, yes, I'll be fine. Thank you, sir," I said, disappointment seeping into my tone. "Today had been so special, this is all such a shame!"

"It's your birthday?" He asked, and I nodded. The man glanced over at Micah, then rose to his feet. "I'll go see if I can lend a hand, see if we can talk some sense into that man. I heard the way he yelled at you, that's no way to speak to a lady; 'specially not one just been knocked over."

My lips parted and I watched him walk over to join Micah, giving his two cents and urging the mark to cough up some cash to go towards a new vase. I had not been expecting that. Soon enough, another feller joined in. I almost felt guilty, but this was what we did. This was how we made money! The mark looked plenty rich enough, in an expensive looking suit, a gold ring on almost every finger. The attention he'd drawn had him pulling out a billfold and pushing it into Micah's eager hand with an angry hiss of acceptance, before he was storming out of the station muttering about not being able to miss his train. 

Micah pocketed the cash, uttering his thanks to the other men who'd stepped in before he was gliding on over to me, a smile threatening to lift his moustache. He held his hand out to me and I took it, he helped me up, dusting his lips across the back of my knuckles in a way I'd have to have words with him about.

"My lady, I'm sorry about all that. Tomorrow I will go and get a replacement for your gift, for now, perhaps you'd like to get out of here and get a drink with me, take some of the edge off such a stressful situation?" He suggested. I smiled, giving a small curtsy. 

"Perhaps," I nodded. Micah straightened up, guiding me from the station with a hand on the small of my back. 

-

"I cannot believe that man stepped in to help you," I was saying to Micah, sat upstairs out on the balcony of Rhodes Parlour House, over a bottle of beer. 

"What a sucker," he chuckled. 

"Poor man. He had no idea what he was doing," I shook my head, biting my lip.

"I almost lost it right there, you're lucky I never laughed, missy," he teased. 

"How much did you get?" I asked, leaning forwards, elbows on the table. He leaned forwards too, smirking. 

"Sixty. Not too bad for free money, huh?"

"Not bad at all," I agreed, brushing my fingers up and down the side of my beer bottle idly. 

"How's your hip? You hit the floor pretty hard there," he asked, eyes dipping down my body though the table was blocking his view.

"A little sore, actually, never meant to act that part out so well," I admitted with a snort.

"Well, I guess it earned you a few sympathy points. And no one can say you aren't committed to your role, you did good, darlin'," he drawled, sipping his beer and licking his lips as he locked his eyes on mine.

"I think I may have found my calling; I should be joining the theatre," I laughed. 

"No, no, you're staying with us. You're far too valuable an asset," he told me, and I gave an awkward huff at the flattery. "I'm serious, you've brought in a decent sum of cash since you've been rolling with us, I like your attitude."

I shrugged my shoulders, "I just do what I can. I owe my life to the gang, I don't wanna be a freeloader."

"You do more than your fair share. Between you and me, I reckon most'a the women back at camp are holding us back, they don't put in graft like the rest of us," he leaned in conspiratorially and spoke under his breath. "That's why you're a breath of fresh air."

"Oh, now that ain't fair, the girls do plenty, it just goes unnoticed," I defended, frowning at him. 

"Maybe they do, but you ask me I don't reckon it balances out too well," he shrugged, "we could probably get on just fine without the women."

"You ain't forgotten you're speaking to one of the women, have you?" I cocked a brow and Micah acknowledged me with a gaze that was unnerving in its shameless assessment of me. 

"Oh it's mighty hard to forget that I'm in the company of a woman," his tone was bold, a little vulgar, even, and he was smirking at me. "But I don't class you as one of the women," he made air quotations with his fingers as if to categorise them as an entity all of their own.

"Oh? Then what am I?" I queried, genuinely curious about his response. 

"You, you're somethin' special. I can see you really going places in this gang, you keep doing what you do. Especially if you stick by my side."

I didn't say anything for a while, not entirely sure what to say. Micah kept on staring at me, a smile plastered across his lips, beer on his breath as he leaned across the table, taking up some of my personal space where I was leaning on the table too. 

"Anyone ever told you, you got a real pretty face?" He suddenly said, taking me by surprise. "Especially those eyes. Real nice eyes."

My brows raised and I leaned back a little, my back meeting the chair. "Oh, well that's kind of you to say," I murmured. 

"You ever think about that kiss we shared?" He asked, though he received silence as an answer. "You tasted nice, was good while it lasted, weren't it? Even though you made out like it bothered you."

"Well, it did bother me. But that's in the past, ain't it? Not worth talking about, let's forget about it."

"You think? I thought people were supposed to always remember their first kiss."

"If it's all the same to you, Micah, I'd rather not count that one," I told him curtly, and a smile settled across his features that was amused and more than a little predatory. 

I thought for a moment he was finished, with the resulting silence, but it did not last long. He took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, resting his beer bottle on his belly.

"You know, I think it's sweet you're a woman of little experience, you don't see that all too much, not with the company we keep. Ladies like Miss Abigail; I ain't got a problem with a woman who sells herself but, well, you know. There's something mighty appealing about a pretty thing who ain't ever been sullied by the hands of another man," Micah licked his lips, his expression decidedly lascivious.

"Micah, this ain't a proper topic of conversation," I huffed, getting warm in the face and shifting uncomfortably.

"I suspect you're curious. 'Bout what a man can do," he continued, ignoring my discomfort, "be honest."

"This ain't proper," I reiterated, speaking under my breath, "where on Earth has this come from?" I balked. He let out a dirty laugh. 

"You're a sweet little thing, ain't you?" He said, then sat up, draining his beer. "You and I, we have fun together, don't we?"

"Fun?" I repeated. "I guess so, sometimes."

"Yeah, we do. I reckon we could have all sorts of fun, I could show you what you've been missing out on all these years, if you'd let me," he offered, gesturing to me with the neck of his bottle, "how about it? You can trust me, you'll have a nice time. Just a little fun between you and I."

I narrowed my eyes at him, rendered speechless. 

"Would you like that? We could pay for a room here, head back later and nobody has to know about it but us, it'd be like uhh… like a private celebration of our own," he carried on, and I couldn't comprehend how blind he was to my obvious displeasure. 

"Just so I'm clear; are you asking if I wanna have sex with you; here? Now?" I asked bluntly, seeing him flinch just a little at the way I asked, no frills or nothing. 

"I'm asking if you'd like to have a little harmless fun with a trusted friend, it don't gotta be put as brash as that," he rephrased and I sighed. 

"Put it how you like, the answer's the same. I'm not sleeping with you, Micah. Nice try, though. The pep talk was nice, I was even a little flattered," I told him drily. His shoulders sagged and his smile dropped.

"Fair enough, your loss," he grunted, casting off any charm he may have had. I snorted, amused more than anything. 

His eyes wandered back to me at my laugh, and he couldn't help but smile a little too. "Something special," he echoed from earlier, shaking his head.

[scribeofmorpheus]

The Rebel Queen (iv)

Chapter Four: Convergence

Pairing: Poe Dameron x (OFC) Princess Calista Ordell

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | A03

Words:  | Warnings: More ramblings of a delusional fanfic writer…

A/N: Finally our two protagonists meet... just not how you#d envision it.

Taglist is open

Epilogue | About Thesmora

Hyperspace...

Poe took his holo-call in the privacy of a storage room. General Leia’s face was a portrait in blue as she filled him in on what new intel she had gathered.

“Maz got in touch again. Your contact has arrived on Takodana. She’s a member of the House of Ordell. And seeing as there are only three members of that house remaining, I’m assuming it’s the young princess, Calista.” Leia’s face lit up in a half-smile as she remembered something. “I met her once. When she was just a child. She was so shy, unlike her mother and father. Always clinging to the coattails of the admiral like he was some boulder keeping her from being swept away.” She lifted her head, her eyes set back on Poe.

Poe shook his head when he realised she was waiting for some form of confirmation that he knew about what she was speaking of. The name didn’t ring any bells.

Leia explained further, “They’re royalty. They govern over a small planet situated close to the Outer Rim. Thesmora.” She said the planets name as though it would mean something to him, but Poe simply ran a hand through his hair and shrugged with indifference. The General huffed at him.

“It’s a big galaxy,” he defended himself.

“Indeed it is,” she replied matter-of-factly. “It used to be a beacon of neutrality within the galaxy. However, Thesmora has fallen to infighting. Not much noise has been made about it considering how much confusion and fear the galaxy is in after the First Order fired their superweapon. Their skirmish has gone relatively unnoticed.”

“Maybe the people simply wanted to govern themselves?”

“No, I knew the late queen. We didn’t agree on much and she was as stubborn as a mule, but her subjects adored her. More importantly, she would have proven to be a great ally…” Something bothered Leia, the lines on her face becoming more prominent as she furrowed her brow in thought. “It’s curious. News of her death came to me around the same time I received correspondence from her. It can’t be a coincidence. “

Poe lingered for a while, feet kicking the air.

“Speak your mind Commander,” Leia urged, having noticed his reaction.

“Are you sure this was all worth it?” He slumped onto a box, a sigh escaping his lips. “I don’t doubt your reasons for sending me on this mission. I just can’t help but wonder if I was the right choice. I’m trying to see things your way, but I’m flying blind here. And that’s the worst feeling for a pilot to have. Especially the pilot you chose to lead this expedition.”

“You’re afraid it would all turn out to be a waste of time,” she said it as if she had the power to read his thoughts. “Have faith, Commander. I had sensed something before Maz had contacted me. She felt it too. And now we discover that a potentially powerful ally is in need of assistance… Call it fate or coincidence, matters not. What matters is that the Resistance is hobbling on one leg as it is. If we hope to survive, we have to be willing to take risks. Even if those risks seem to be fools' errands.”

“Those are large hopes to place on a princess of a homeworld that is currently too busy fighting its own war to care about the one being waged against the entire galaxy, General.”

“I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“And my orders?” he asked.

“I am transferring a data packet to your terminal. Hand it to the princess. And only the princess. It’s time we took direct action.”

The terminal stopped the projection and Poe was left alone with his thoughts. Then he heard Paige call him over his terminal, “Uh, hotshot, mind coming back down here. I’ve gotta pull us out of hyperspeed and I’m afraid I might rip us to shreds if I accidentally press the wrong button.”

Poe smiled as he left the cold, compressed space of the storage locker and made his way to the cockpit which was filled with the noises of several alarms and flashing lights.

 "Easy does it, Tico, don't want to jostle us around on landing," he cautioned as his new second mate retracted the landing gear sloppily. Her arm muscles strained to keep the ship in alignment and he could tell she wasn't ready for this particular task just yet. He flicked a few switches, turned more dials and pressed several buttons. The landing controls had been transferred to him and Paige audibly sighed, wiping the sweat off her brow. A shake settling in her bones more freely now.

"I could’ve handled that," she made light of the situation after Poe had set the ship down in a clearing surrounded by tall, canopied trees.

He chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and pushing his chair backwards, "Sure you could've." It was hard to tell whether he meant to be sarcastic, sincere or teasing, but Paige seemed to take it lightly.

"I just thought you were getting bored since I did all the flying this time," she wore a smug smile.

One of his eyes twitched, "All the flying?"

She playfully punched his sides as they made their way to the rear of the ship, "Is someone's ego hurt?"

“It’ll take more than that, I assure you,” he shot her a warm smile as he pressed the door’s side panel and light flushed through the cooling ship.

Paige took a step back from the encroaching light, face scrunched up in a tight squint. She had yet to habituate herself with the constant changes forced upon the human body during intragalactic travel. Poe recognised that squint, he had worn it many times when he first started flying through hyperspace. It was always accompanied by vertigo, nausea and a flash of white spots that bombarded his vision. During his worse trips, he’d even experience the regular bout of muscle spasms. Years of flying had trained his body to become acclimated to the abrupt changes in environment that came with travelling through hyperspace. It was a discipline that came with the territory. Being a passenger was one thing, piloting under intense conditions and forcing your mind and body to stay lucid and responsive was a whole other ball game. Lucky for Paige, Poe hadn’t noticed any uncontrollable shaking… yet.

“Shut your eyes. Take three deep breaths and focus on your feet while walking. Your inner-ear should balance itself out. If you start to shake, ride it out, it’s worse when you fight it,” he offered his advice while she tentatively took a step forward and regretted it because she hissed away from the light in lightning-quick movements.

“Ughh, why does piloting make you feel worse after?” she groaned as she tried her luck one more time.

Poe chuckled, “It’s a small price to pay for conquering the stars.”

“Commander,” one of his men saluted behind him. It was a young lad with freckles dotted all over his nose and cheeks. His bright-eyed manner adding no hardness to his fresh face. Poe guessed he wasn’t a day older than him when he first started flying for the New Republic.

Poe extended his hand and was met with an enthusiastic handshake, “You’re new. I don’t think I saw you board the ship. What’s your name?”

“Ah, yes. This is my first official mission. I usually work in engineering. It’s an honour, sir,” he rambled, a flush of embarrassment and excitement turning his skin almost the same shade of red as his curls. “I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself earlier –since you were flying and such. I just… wanted to offer my assistance.” He fumbled with his hands until he decided fisting them into his overalls was the more convenient thing to do.

Paige tittered behind Poe’s shoulder and he had to bite his cheek to keep from doing the same, “I didn’t get your name?”

“It’s Cors, sir. Zeeke Cors.”

Paige’s voice took on a high pitch, “Wait, the Zeeke Cors? I thought you’d be… older.” She sounded impressed.

Poe turned to her, his brows raised by half a millimetre, “Am I missing something.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, sir. Just a fluke that stuck and made me sound like some big wig with big brains and a little too much luck on his side,” he beamed. “Frankly, I’m just a guy who was in the right place at the right time.”

“He’s being modest,” Paige scoffed. “He managed to sneak aboard a First Order ship and sabotage its flight controls preventing it from pursuing a resistance medical vessel back to D’Qar. No one would have known he did it either, if they hadn’t found him passed out in the galley with the capacitor fused into his palm.” She turned to the young man, finger pointing to his arm, and then continued: “Didn’t they have to give you a prosthetic?”

He untucked his left hand from his pocket and rolled up the sleeve, “Nah, just grafts. My injuries were somewhat exaggerated by my crewmates. Makes for a more interesting story. At least, that’s what they tell me.”

The hero type, eh?

He took a step forward, glancing around as though someone might be listening in, “Between us, the ship was empty. The troopers had already disembarked when I snuck in through a maintenance hatch. The pilot and second mate didn’t even notice me because I was in a crawl space the entire time.”

Poe tucked his arms around his chest, “How’d you know about the crawl space? Ever worked on a First Order ship before?”

Zeeke shook his head, “Nope. I just have a knack for fixing things. Besides, most ships are designed the same. My brother works on Canto Bight as a…” he paused for a second and decided to let that detail slide. “Anyway, he showed me some blueprints once. The Hutt’s pay a lotta credits for any info they can get on ship designs. Makes for good saboteuring. That’s what they say, anyway.” He shrugged awkwardly before stuffing his hands back into his pockets. “So, what ‘dya say to having an extra pair of eyes tag along? I make a good spotter.”

From how he held himself, Poe would have figured Zeeke to be a little too nervous to have on a mission, but after hearing the strange twang in his accent and the types of words he used, he wasn’t so sure nervous was an accurate assumption. Wiry was perhaps a better description. He mulled over the short boy’s proposal for a long minute.

Paige was the one to break the silence, “Aww, come on Commander, cut the kid some slack. How many chances do you think he’s had to visit Takodana? Hell, it’s my first time here too. And by that count, it means only one of us knows the lay of the land. An extra man watching our backs doesn’t seem so bad.”

“Twice,” Zeeke added.

“What?” Paige hummed in confusion.

“You said ‘how many chances do you think he’s had to visit Takodana?’” he held up two fingers in a V. “Twice. Which means you’d have two people who know the lay of the land on your team. I also have a good memory. Remember most things on the fly. Makes me a terrible sabacc player.”

“Because you always lose?” she cocked her head to the side.

“Because I always win. And the house didn’t like that…” his attention drifted momentarily before he shook himself back to the present.

Paige opened her mouth, probably to inquire about his two prior visits or his penchant for sabacc considering he seemed unlike the usual type that would wind up at a pirate haven –not once, but twice– and also partake in high stakes gambling. Poe interjected to wrap thing up. They’d spent long enough just standing there.

“Why not,” he agreed. “Tell the others to stay ready in case we need to make a quick and loud exit. Maz will try and keep things civil, but you never know.”

“Great!” he rolled on the balls of his heels like a kid building up confidence to ask a question. “Do I get a blaster?”

Paige and Poe exchanged a look before they both nodded, but not in a way that said yes. “No,” they said simultaneously before they made their way to Maz’s place beyond the dense tree line, Zeeke ran after them once he relayed Poe’s orders.

 “What do you think a princess looks like?” Paige whispered in Poe’s direction as they scoured the riff-raff populating the hot and stuffy make-shift cantina. “I mean, I know the General used to be a princess but then… you know, Alderaan went all kablooey. I’ve seen images of the queen of Naboo before, but if someone dressed like that was in here, they’d stick out like a Tusken Raider on Hoth.”

Zeeke chuckled, his voice drawing the attention of several lurkers who had kept their sights trained on them since they arrived. That small action seemed to tell those unfriendly faces that they weren’t intimidated in the least, despite being relatively new faces in this establishment. The staring masses seemed to be satisfied with Zeeke’s show of confidence and they went about their business as usual.

He sure was good at reading a room, Poe thought. That could come in handy.

“I’ve seen a few princesses. Most of them always wear fancy dresses with too much jewellery. The kind of too much that means they aren’t in the least bit worried about losing one of their eight rings. Heck, I once saw a prince wearing so much jewellery I mistook him for a woman,” Zeeke told Paige. She found his slip up amusing. “Don’t laugh, it was an honest mistake. Besides, if you’d seen him, you’d be thrown for a loop too.”

Paige poked his side with a large grin, “What, did the handsome prince fluster you?”

Zeeke scoffed, “No. And he wasn’t handsome.” He stuck out his thumb close to Poe’s chin. “Poe is handsome. He was… beautiful. Hence the reason I mistook him for a princess.” His words came out nonchalantly like he was telling Paige water was wet.

Paige snorted loudly, a laugh braced behind her palm as she tried to hold back her laughing fit.

“Well, I guess all we have to do is look for a beautiful man who wears a lot of jewellery,” Poe teased with a half-smirk.

Zeeke mouthed a ‘Ha-ha’ before he tapped on Poe’s jacket discretely, “Actually, I think I’ve spotted them.” He nudged his nose towards a table in the back placed in a poorly lit area with five people sat around it. At first glance, they would seem to blend right in, but upon a more thorough observation, Poe noticed they were more guarded than most of the people inside this cramped space.

Sat in the farthest right corner of the table was a tall, stout man with a gut protruding over his belt. He wore a small sleeveless jacket that looked ridiculous on his frame. It was probably too small for Poe’s shoulders. Perhaps Paige or Zeeke would have fit into it better. Beside the large man was a Jawa sitting on top of stacked crates. His arms waved around energetically as some of his Jawaese made its way to Poe’s unfamiliar ears. Listening attentively was a woman in mechanics overalls. Her posture was slumped and her face marred by dark rings under her eyes –a blaster holstered at her thigh. She wasn’t unattractive, but sitting beside the much more poised and stiff looking woman dressed in purple, she was easily overlooked. The woman in purple and black was probably the princess. The scary, tall man with his right arm in a sling, casting a deformed shadow over the table, was probably her bodyguard. Though, Poe wondered what good he was to her right now considering his battered state. And as though he had sensed their presence, the man with the dark storm-filled eyes looked over at Poe, a grim line pressing his lips together until they turned near-white. Poe shuddered on reflex.

 “So, what now?” Paige asked.

Poe’s fingers smoothed over the data disk he had downloaded Leia’s data packet onto. A hesitancy in his actions as he squared his jaw and let out a breathy sigh. “I guess, now we talk to a princess.”

“Boy, tone down that confidence, why don’t you,” Zeeke jested.

“Are you certain that was the whole message?” Koa inquired in a hushed voice.

Calista’s fingers dipped and ran over the ridges and snaking twists of her newly braided hair, the umber ends reminding her a little too much of her aunt’s signature colour. With distaste, she tossed the heavy braid behind her, feeling it swing and tickle her lower back. “That was all it said,” she replied finally.

“It makes no sense,” Odhen grumbled, as was his usual manner of speaking Calista had discovered. “Why send us all the way out here to find your friend if his half of the message simply lead to co-ordinates in the middle of nowhere? There’s no star, no planet, no planetoid… nothing’s in that quadrant. Except black.”

Everyone turned to Mokk-Toh hoping he would provide them with more answers, but he had been silent ever since she had found him in that cave, lost and despondent. Calista feared that he wouldn’t ever truly recover from the news of Lenora’s death and that worried her. She had always suspected they shared a strong bond, maybe even one that proved to be of an intimate nature, but she had never witnessed more than kind words and trusting gazes shared between them while in their presence. And right now, all she had was speculation. That made her feel… conflicted. Calista was good at reading people, but not when it came to her family. And never when it came to Mokk-Toh. He was an impregnable fortress of secrets and silence. A statuesque sentry, ever on watch.

Mokk-Toh ignored their inquiring gazes, he was too preoccupied with staring at a group of strangers who had just walked into the stuffy space. It was for good reason too, because now those three strangers were walking towards them with purpose. Their leader, a man in a dusty brown jacket, caught Calista’s eye. He looked like a man with a mission. She couldn’t help but notice how kind his eyes were, even if his jaw was set tightly and his shoulders were squared in an intimidating manner.  

Calista’s gaze wandered down to the point of contact between Mokk-Toh’s less accurate right hand and his swords frayed hilt. She cleared her throat discretely and he eased up immediately. So did Koa. It seems their pendulum had found a new addition. Now they were a singular organism. A cluster of nerve endings fused together to form a synapse.

The man in the brown jacket kept his hands freely visible at his sides, his blaster clipped firmly in place by his holster. He wanted them to know he wasn’t a threat. Though, Calista also noticed that he was gravitating towards Koa, like she was the authority head at their table. She bit back a humorous smile as he stopped a meter short from Koa’s seat.

“Princess Calista of House Ordell?” he seemed unsure of his own voice, but he still kept his shoulders square.

Odhen hid his snigger behind a loud cough, sending a wink in Ton-Ton’s direction. It went unnoticed. Or so she thought until she saw the young kid with the ringlet curls hold up his finger towards his leader’s back to try and tell him something. The woman with the woolly hat pushed his hand down and muttered something at him with nervous eyes.

Koa cocked her head to the side, staring at the three strangers with an impressive poker face. She stayed quiet, deciding it would be more beneficial to see how things played out. For some reason, he took her silence for admission.

“The name’s Poe Dameron,” he offered as he pulled up a chair and joined their table without permission. “This my second mate Paige,” he pointed to the woman behind his left shoulder. “And this is Zeeke.” He pointed to the boy over his right. “General Leia Organa sent me… with this–“

He pulled out a data disk and slid it over the enamel textured table.

Odhen’s smile vanished as soon as he heard the man speak, his brows growing heavy again. Ton-Ton spoke to him, though not as loudly as his usual choice of expression. The boy with the ringlets –Zeeke– lifted his chin slightly at the sound of Jawaese. Calista wondered if he was familiar with the dialect.

Calista opened her mouth to say something when Poe spoke over her, “I’ve been sent here to bring you back with us… to our base.”

“Why should I trust anything you say?” Koa stared him down.

The smaller woman, Paige, gulped in place of Poe.

Poe ruffled his hair and rubbed his hand over his scruff growing just below his nose, “Look, princess, I’m just following orders. I was told you needed my help. Here I am.” There was a slight petulance to his tone that made Calista chuckle softly. Koa and Mokk-Toh didn’t find his tone of voice as amusing.

Zeeke bent side-ways towards Paige and whispered something into her ear. Suddenly her eyes went buggy as she turned her focus to Odhen, her mouth pried open by whatever it was Zeeke had told her. The burly pilot was made aware of the woman staring at him by the crude way in which Ton-Ton had jabbed at his resting palm. With a pained snarl, he retracted his hand and stood off the stool.

“I’m heading to the Somnambulist, gonna make sure she’s all fuelled up. If you see Maz, don’t tell her I’m here,” he said as he pulled Ton-Ton behind him in the red trolley.

Calista, Mokk-Toh and Koa all hummed in unison as they watched their pilot stride away. What ensued next was a series of rapid fired back and forth between Koa and Poe. Both of whom grew more and more annoyed by the others arrogance, impatience and reluctance to back down. Calista had tuned them out as she stared at the data disk under Poe’s palm. It looked to be the same make as the ones she and Mokk-Toh had been entrusted with. That couldn’t have been a coincidence.

Calista tried to speak for a second time, but it was Mokk-Toh who spoke this time, “We need to leave.”

“Do you sense something?” Calista asked in their native tongue.

Mokk-Toh gave a rigid nod as he trained his eyes up, not to the ceiling, but beyond. His good arm reaching to massage the tender flesh of his formerly dislocated left shoulder. “Now,” he advised.

A crackling noise moved through the structure, a tingle lining every metal structure. Zeeke pinched his muscles to stop the cramp that had been triggered in his two fingers bending unnaturally.

“What was that?” Paige asked.

“It felt like a pulse,” Poe replied.  

“We’re too late…” Mokk-Toh said.

 Calista scurried after the panicked Mokk-Toh as he rushed out of the cantina and made his way to the spot where the Somnambulist was parked. Koa and Poe were right on their heels, the two of them still locked in a heated battle of words.

“I must insist you and your people return with me, you’ll be safer there,” he argued.

“No place is safe in the galaxy right now,” she bit back.

He sighed, “Look, you’re my mission and I always complete my mission.”

“You’re going to be sorely disappointed then.”

Without warning, a gust of strong winds blew through a brush of dense trees and then a hot, blinding flash of light devoured a sector of the forest and left nothing behind but the thrum of the earth quaking beneath their feet and ash where trees used to be.

“By the stars… Poe,” Paige tugged on his brown jacket. “Isn’t that where…”

Poe forced his spit down with a rough bob of his Adam’s apple, “The Rose One…”

Calista’s eyes narrowed when she felt Mokk-Toh’s grip grow stone cold and then let go of her wrist. He unfastened the knot that held his sling in place and his bones groaned and popped in agony as he stretched it free. Dark bruises and fresh cuts marring his skin.

He unsheathed his sword and his voice turned dark, “He’s here.”

Automatically, she reached for her blasters handle.

 “Who?” Zeeke turned to them, worried and afraid –though valiantly keeping his wits about him.

Mokk-Toh’s glazed over, “Versengen.”

Then, as if on cue, an ugly, droning ship glided through the air and set itself down a few paces in front of them. The doors peeled back and out of the darkness, the bounty hunter emerged.

“I told you, I’d find you.” the masked hunter’s voice was distorted. “And look,” he tilted his head as far as his restrictive armour would let him. “You’ve got friends.” His laugh sounded like someone choking on marbles. “Hello… Calista. You look so much like your father…”

My father? She wondered. What does he have to do with any of this?

Shivers prickled at her tired flesh as another ripple of unnerving laughter filled the air. Calista’s stomach grew tight and her chest felt hollow when the burning odours in the air filled her lungs. There it was again… despair.

 To be continued...

Tags: @gruffle1 @thechickvic @notawarriorjustyet @savethehoneeybees@carolinamalo53 @everything-intertwined

[captain-kingliamsqueen]

Princess Delilah Amelia Elena Rhys

With all the angst ive been posting I thought...Maybe a little bit of fluffy Happiness for Liam and Riley!

Pairing: Liam x Riley 

Summary: …Riley and Liam go through a life changing experience… the first couple of days with a newborn.

Word Count: 3924

Tagged : @starstruckzonkoperatorbat @drakelover78 @queencatherynerhys @devineinterventions2 @jayjay879  @kawairinrin @hopefulmoonobject @flyawayblue56 @gardeningourmet @blackcatkita @syltti78 @decisso @theroyalweisme @hhiggs @mfackenthal @bruteforcebears @pens-girl-87

 ASK IF YOU WANT TAGGED! SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE! (USED THE TAGS FROM MY “ALWAYS” SERIES LET ME KNOW IF ANYONE WANTS UNTAGGED!!!)

 I always notice every single spelling mistake or issue after I’ve posted…so apologies in advance!

 Riley was woken in the middle of the night with an uncomfortable pain. She placed her hand on her bump…It was contractions…they weren’t major enough to start rushing around waking up doctors or whatever. she sat up then gently nudged Liam

“Liam” she whispered as she gently rubbed his arm, he didn’t budge

“Liam honey” she said a little louder.

“Hmmm?” He mumbled as he moved closer to her half asleep

“Liam, I need you to open your eyes” she whispered

“Hmmm” he mumbled as he flickered his eyes open, he gently rubbed them as he yawned

“What time is it?” He asked

“Its 4am”

“Hmm” he sighed then looked at Riley “is everything okay? What’s wrong?” he asked

“I think I just had a contraction” she whispered

“What!” He was wide awake within seconds

“Shhh sh Liam it’s okay I read about it…sometimes you start having contractions then your water breaks, it wasn’t a big one it just took me by surprise and woke me up, I just thought I should tell you, so you know” she whispered

“Are you sure?” He asked as he gently placed his hand on her stomach.

“Mhmmm I’m sure”

“okay” he smiled then gently kissed her lips.

“Can I get you anything?” He whispered softly

“No just hold me, it helps sooth the discomfort” she whispered as they both lay down and Liam instantly fell into the position to spoon Riley, he placed his palm on her stomach, then gently ran circles over her bump

I love you she whispered

I love you so much he replied as he nuzzled his head into her shoulder.

Are you scared? He whispered as he gently intertwined his fingers with hers

Mhmmm are you? she asked in the same way

“Yeah” he whispered “but I think…we’ll be okay” he added before gently placing a kiss on her shoulder.

By the time six pm came Riley's contractions had really picked up, Liam had a meeting he had to attend so she didn’t want to bother him but she was at the point where she didn’t really have a choice. She sighed as she struggled to get off the bed and pulled her cardigan on then headed down to the main conference room. she gently knocked on the door then opened it causing everyone who was in there to stop talking, taken back by the fact that someone opened the door without waiting to be told to enter by the king, they kind of relaxed slightly when they realised it was riley who done it. They all instantly stood up and bowed. Riley smiled and greeted them all

“Good evening everyone” she smiled as she made my way over to Liam

“Liam…this baby is coming now” she whispered in his ear as a contraction hit Liam quickly stood from his chair… “I must take my leave we will pick this up another time” he quickly spoke to the room as he took her by the hand placing his free hand on her back gently.

“C’mon let’s get you to the doctor” he smiled comfortingly as he gave out demands to everyone they passed on the way there.

“Liam relax” she took a deep breathe “I’m the one about to push a human being out of me” she smirked

“I know, I’m sorry” he chuckled “I’m just excited”

Once she was in the doctor’s office at the palace she was ushered on the bed then the nurses and midwifes all ran around her, attaching wires and such as the physician used the doppler to check the baby.

“Okay your majesty your waters should break soon, but you’ll have to stay here from now on so we can keep an eye on you”

“Okay” she gasped as another contraction hit she grabbed Liam’s hand and squeezed it as tight as she could

“I’m sorry Liam” she apologised

“Hey, hey it’s okay” he whispered as he gently ran his hand over the top of her head.

“Liam” Riley whispered, “can you lie with me?” she asked whilst moving over for him to lie beside her. He nodded then climbed onto the bed, wrapping his arm around her. Riley held the gas and air at her mouth and breathed it in, Liam was placing gentle kissed on her shoulder whilst rubbing in hand in circles over her belly.

“this is all your fault” she cried from the pain.

“how is it my fault…it takes two to tango!” he chuckled

“you done this to me!” she groaned

*2 hours later*

Riley groaned from the contraction as she lifted the gas and air to her mouth. Liam gently squeezed her hand. Once the contraction passed she leaned her head back and groaned.

“Liam” she asked as she looked over at him

“Yeah? Do you need something?” He asked

“I need out of this bed…c-can we go for a walk?” she asked

“Is that okay?” He asked the nurse who nodded

“Of course, your Majesty just not too far” she smiled, Liam helped Riley stand and get off the bed then she pulled her slippers on before grabbing a-hold of her drip on wheels then she took Liam's hand before they headed out, with his free hand gently placed on her lower back comforting her pain.

“You’re doing great” he whispered as he gently pecked her head

“I’m scared…” she whispered

“I know sweetie, these doctors they’re going to take such good care of you and I’m going to be there every step of the way, you are not alone in this” he smiled as he gently kissed her.

Riley's waters broke two hours ago, her contractions we’re so close together she felt like she wasn’t getting a break between them.

“WILL SOMEONE PLEASE…GET THIS BABY…OUT OF ME!!!” she cried

“Alright Riley…you’re going to have to start pushing in a minute so take some deep breathes”

“Liam” she panicked

“Shh shh it’s alright, everything’s going to be alright my darling” he smiled as he gently kissed her.

“Alright let’s get this show on the road…okay you remember how I told you Riley? When I say now you push I count to ten you stop okay?”

“Mhmmm” she nodded

“Liam…what I need you to do, it put your arm under Riley's left leg, I need you to fold it up, no matter how much she pushes it…you can’t let it come down” Liam nodded then quickly moved into position.

“Alright lets got AND…1” As the nurse started counting Riley pushed as hard as she could

“YOU BETTER SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN FROM NOW ON, RHYS!” she squealed as she squeezed his free hand.

“IM SLEEPING IN A SKI SUIT FROM NOW ON! YOU AINT GETTING NOTHIN FROM ME!” she yelled

“YOU’RE SO DAMN LUCKY I LOVE YOU!” she groaned

It was about thirty-five minutes later that their lives changed forever…

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a beautiful little princess!! The nurse smiled as she caught the baby and Riley stopped pushing as she fell back onto the bed to catch her breathe. The nurse placed the baby on Riley's chest on top of the blanket as she started cleaning her up

“Liam…would you like to cut the cord?”

“Really?” He smiled

“Yes” the nurse replied as she handed him the scissors then showed him where to cut.

“Liam” Riley gasped “is she okay?” she asked as she tried to lift her head properly to look at her, but she didn’t want to move to much and hurt her.

“Yes, she’s alright…she’s okay” he sniffled as tears ran down his face… “she’s perfect” he smiled

After about a minute the nurse lifted the baby wrapping the blanket around her. Riley cried as soon as she seen her face.

“Oh Liam…she’s perfect…she’s absolutely perfect” she smiled.

Once the nurse had cleaned off the baby and they had done everything they had to do it was about twenty minutes later, it was just Liam and Riley. Riley held the baby whilst Liam perched himself next to her on the bed with his closest arm around her, they just admired their daughter.

“I love her so much” Riley whispered as she gently pecked her nose

“Liam” she smiled

“Yeah?” He replied not taking his eyes off her.

“would you like to hold her?” she smiled

“Really?” He smiled

“of course, I could tell that’s what you’ve been waiting for” she giggled “plus I’m a little tired” she smiled as he lifted the baby and gently cradled her in his arms.

“She’s perfect” he smiled

“Thank you…thank you so much Riley for giving me this most beautiful little girl” he sniffled as he smiled down at their daughter.

About an hour later the two lay on the bed, taking in their new lives.

“So” Riley smiled “do you think she’s a Delilah?” she yawned

“Oh yes…definitely…she is most definitely a Delilah” he smiled

“Princess Delilah…Amelia…Elena…Rhys” he smiled.

“Then that shall be her name” Riley mumbled half asleep

“I love it” Liam smiled as he turned to face her.

“Liam” she whispered

“Yes sweetheart”

“can you ask the nurse if I can go to our bed? This bed is rather uncomfortable” she sighed

“Of course,” he replied then went to the door where the nurses stood outside. After a few moments of them talking he came back in followed by the nurses

“Alrighty your majesty, how’s about we get you to your own bed” one of them smiled as she checked all of Riley levels on the machine then helped her sit up a little.

“Now, we’re going to help you into a wheelchair then we’ll take you to your bedroom, once you’re there we will help you into bed” she smiled then helped riley off the bed and into the wheelchair, Liam gently passed riley the baby then he took over the handles of the wheel chair before taking them to the royal quarters with one of the nurses.

Once they reached the bedroom Riley passed Delilah to Liam then the nurse helped her into bed.

“Now, I’ll be coming back to check on your every couple of hours…just call if you need me for anything”

“Okay…thank you” she smiled as she positioned a cushion from the bed against her back to give her comfort. The nurse left after bidding Liam and Riley goodbye then Liam gently placed the baby in the bassinette at the end of the bed.

“I think she’s ti-” he said then stopped as he turned and noticed riley was sleeping. she felt him place a gentle kiss on her head “sleep well sweetheart” he whispered

Riley woke up an hour after falling asleep…due to obviously having just gone through a life changing event, her body felt off and everything, the doctors told her this would happen though, she probably wouldn’t sleep for long periods of time, she would wake up for a bit then fall asleep again. she looked across the room to see Liam gently rocking in the rocking chair they bought and put next to the bassinette. Delilah lay on his bare chest as he rocked back and forth.

“Hi” she whispered still laying down, he looked up smiling

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He asked

“Tired” Riley whispered “but it’s worth it” she smiled

“She’s perfect” he whispered “I love her so much already…I can’t believe she’s finally here” he added as he gently stood up. “Would you like to see her, I know everything’s happened so fast and when we got back to the apartment you were exhausted, so you haven’t really had the chance to see her much?” He walked over as riley sat up.

“I would love to see her” she smiled as he gently lay her in her arms, Delilah looked up at riley with her gorgeous beady blue eyes. Liam climbed into bed beside riley gently wrapping his closest arm around her.

“Can you believe we’re parents to this beautiful little girl?” He asked smiling

“No…I can feel it though” she smirked, Liam leaned in chuckling then pecked her cheek

“Thank you…I don’t think I could ever do anything that could repay you for what you have given me Riley…you and this little girl…you are everything to me…. you are my purpose in life, I am going to do everything I can to protect you and keep you safe” he whispered

“I love you Liam” she whispered as she looked over to him

“I love you so much” he replied before gently pecking her lips

“I didn’t know I could love you anymore than I already did and then you brought me this gift…this amazing little girl and now you literally have my whole heart” he whispered 

Riley woke up to the baby crying a couple of hours later as she went to climb out of bed, Liam stopped her by gently placing his hand on her arm.

“I’ve got her, go back to sleep” he whispered then climbed out of bed.

“I need to feed her” Riley mumbled

“It’s okay, I’ll do it, there’s a bottle made up waiting for her” he replied as he headed into the kitchenette. riley quickly fell back asleep.

Riley awoke again a while later, Liam had just finished feeding the baby

“How many feeds has she had?” she asked

“This is her seconds” he smiled

“May I see her once you’re done?” she smiled

“Of course, you don’t have to ask” he smiled as he put the empty bottle down then brought her over to riley, she sat up eventually from the pain and discomfort, then she took the baby in her arms. Delilah just lay smiling up at her

“Hello, my gorgeous baby girl” Riley whispered as she pecked her forehead.

“We need to have more of these” she giggled as she looked over at Liam who was clearing away the bottle and stuff. He chuckled then turned to face her.

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours since you had this one” he smirked

“I know but she’s just so perfect” she smiled “you should go back to sleep Liam…you’ve been up all night with her” she whispered

“I’ll be okay”

“Please…for me?” she smiled “come and lie with us” she added as she gently patted his side of the bed, he smirked then headed over and climbed into the bed. Riley carefully moved closer to him gently leaning on his chest as he wrapped his free arm around her. He gently pecked Riley's head as he whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

“Your amazing d’you know that…I could never do what you done yesterday…even if I was scientifically able, I couldn’t have done it…I’m so proud of you” he whispered

“Liam…” she smiled

“Yes sweetheart?”

“I love you” she whispered

“I love you too” he smiled

“Y’know we have to decide who her godparents are…but I think we probably both have exactly the same people in mind…I know we have to choose more than two people and I think I know who”

“Me too” he smirked

“Okay why don’t I choose godmothers and you can choose godfathers” Riley giggled

“That sounds like a great idea…okay you first”

“Hanna”

“Drake”

“Olivia”

“Olivia?”

“Mhmmm she helped make this beautiful little girl possible…without her we wouldn’t know that Penelope was behind the photographs which led to Bastian and your father…if it wasn’t for Olivia we wouldn’t have known any of it” she sighed “so yes…Olivia” she smiled

“Okay Olivia” he smiled “umm Maxwell…he was the whole reason you came to Cordonia” he smiled

“Savannah”

“Bertrand” he added

“So that’s six…I think that’s enough” she giggled

“I agree, we should have them all for dinner… no one knows ive had the baby yet…because of how late It was last night” she smiled “why don’t we have them for dinner tonight then we can introduce them to their goddaughter?”

“I think that’s an amazing idea” he smiled

“You’ll have to help me to get back on my feet first though” she giggled

“Of course,” he smiled, “are you hungry? Do you have to go to the bathroom or anything?”

“no” she smiled “thank you for asking” she gently kissed him.

“When will her birth be announced?”

“As soon as we tell them it’s okay” he replied

“Okay” she whispered as she gently pecked Delilah’s’ head 

After they had breakfast brought up to the room Liam helped Riley into the shower whilst Delilah slept once she was washed and dried she dress then they both went over to Delilah’s bassinette.

“Can you smell it” she whispered nervously

“Mhmmm I most certainly can” he replied

“I’ll do it…you were up all night with her” Riley whispered as she gently lifted her and placed her onto the changing table.

“Are you sure sweetheart I honestly don’t mind doing It” he gently placed his palm on her lower back.

“well if you insist” she smirked knowing what her nappy was going to be like. Liam stood at the bottom of the table preparing himself for what was to come.

Riley got the new fresh nappy ready and set it beside him along with all the other essentials.

“Alright…here we go” he sighed as he unbuttoned her baby grow gently pushing it up, so he could access her nappy. He took in a deep breathe then undone the fastenings of the nappy. As soon as he pulled the front down he heaved then lifted his arm to his mouth and nose as he viciously coughed.

“o-oh my god” he heaved as Riley laughed

“don’t make me laugh Liam” she guffawed “I just had a baby…ill wet myself stop” she laughed

“I’m not trying to make you laugh” he coughed “she just had bottles…what is that? Why does it smell like that…it’s just baby milk!!” He gasped as Riley smirked, she walked over and stood beside him, she gently placed her hand on his arm.

“Okay are you ready? ill pinch your nose” she giggled

“Okay” he nodded he took in a deep breathe then Riley pinched his nose as he quickly changed her nappy she smiled as she unpinched his nose before putting everything in a nappy bag and putting it in the nappy bin.

“Now how much do you regret the phrase “I honestly don’t mind doing it”” she smirked causing him to laugh

“My lord that…that was…wow” he wiped his forehead. “How does a baby that small make that kind of smell?” He asked as he fastened her clothes then lifted her holding her against his chest as she fussed.

Riley spent the day just relaxing whilst Liam took care of both.

Once it reached about 5 o clock they prepared to go down for dinner, they weren’t going to the royal dining hall though, Liam and riley had a room that wasn’t used turned into a smaller dining room so that when we were entertaining fewer guests they didn’t feel a million miles away from them.

Once they were ready, Riley wore a loose-fitting dress and Liam wore smart trousers with a shirt and waistcoat along with a pair of oxfords, Riley lifted Delilah and held her gently against her chest, she was wide awake…and silent.

Once they reached the doors, Bastian was waiting outside.

“Your majesties” he bowed his head.

“Bastian...is everyone here?” Liam asked

“Yes sir”

“Good thank you” he smiled                                                                        

“If I may your majesty it would be my honour to be one of the first to congratulate you on the birth of your daughter”

“Thank you, Bastian” they both smiled, Liam gently patted Bastian’s shoulder as the door opened…Liam walked in first after being announced into the room. As everyone stood up to greet him he pointed towards the door when they announced Riley's name

“Her majesty the queen and Princess Delilah of Cordonia” all of them ran over to me smiling and chattering

“When did you have her?”

“I can’t believe this”

“Look at her she’s gorgeous”

“She’s magnificent “

“Alright guys let’s not crowd the baby we don’t want to scare her” Liam smirked as he urged them all to sit down then he pulled Riley's seat out for her.

“Thank you” riley smiled as she sat down the he gently pushed it in a little before he sat down himself.

“Can I ask when she was born?” Hanna asked

“Of course,” Riley smiled “she was born late last night, about quarter past 9” Riley smiled

“What’s her full name?” Maxwell asked

“Delilah Amelia Elena Rhys” she smiled “now we have something to ask of you all… Liam and I over the past few months have been decided who we wish our daughters godparents to be” Riley smiled “we confirmed it with each other today and we have invited you all here not only to meet our daughter but to meet your god daughter…if you all accept that is…being a royals godparent doesn’t just come with the usual jobs…you will all be like aunties and uncles to Delilah…you are all her family” riley smiled “I really hope you all accept”

“it would be our honour”

“I would love to”

They all replied happily.

After they ate dinner, and everyone got a chance to have a cuddled with the baby Riley and Liam bid everyone goodnight then headed back upstairs with Liam holding the baby on the way up.

“How are you feeling?” He asked as he helped Riley upstairs

“Okay in a bit of pain and I’m a little uncomfortable and tired as to be expected” she sighed

“I’ll get you to bed as soon as we can” he smiled comfortingly.

Once they reached the room, Liam opened the door letting Riley in first then he followed closing the door behind him. By this time Delilah was sleeping Liam changed her then Riley fed her whilst he showered. Once she was finished Riley put her in her bassinette where she fell asleep just moments later. she changed from her normal clothes to her nightwear then she flicked the kettle on to make Liam some tea, he has come to quiet like a cup of tea before bed to help him relax, once the kettle clicked riley poured the water into the cup containing the teabag and sugar then she added the milk just as Riley put the mug down on his side table he walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, he stopped at the wardrobe where he dropped his towel and pulled on his boxer shorts.  Then he walked over and gently wrapped his arms around her from behind

“Thank you for the tea” he smiled then kissed her shoulder

“Your very welcome…I should get to bed” she whispered

“Alright come on then” he smiled as he pulled the duvet back for her then helped her into bed. Once Riley was in bed, Liam climbed in beside her.

“face that way” Riley smiled to him as he looked at her confused as she pointed away from her

“what?”

“face that way” she smirked, Liam sighed then turned his back to Riley as he faced away from her. She chuckled to herself then wriggled closer to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind.

“I’m used to sleeping with my bump in front of me…lying like this makes it comfier to sleep.” She whispered causing him to chuckle

“goodnight riley” Liam whispered

“Goodnight Liam…I love you”

“I love you too” he replied.

Just as the two closed their eyes to go to sleep…a baby cry disturbed the silence. 

If you like it Reblog it! <3

[pennedbyvaishdas]

I posted 25 times in 2021

25 posts created (100%)

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For every post I created, I reblogged 0.0 posts.

I added 142 tags in 2021

#writeaway - 18 posts

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Longest Tag: 37 characters

#excerpt from a story i'll never write

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

As life goes on...

i. I have been a dog barking at the wrong tree for a long time. I realised each and every word I say is not being heard and it bounces double the time back at me putting on more and more weight in my heart. So I stopped barking at all. A dog that neither barks nor bites. Would it be loyal enough to accept being a scrap or leave behind everything and become a street dog?

ii. If the sky were to be red, I guess, my blood would bleed blue. The day would be filled dark, and the night in red. Now that I think about it, it is not the sky but my mind in red bleeding blue hiding in the day and spending nights in red. The day my mind is clear as the sky, will the caged bird open its wide wings and fly?

iii. This smell of the ball bouncing up and down without any rest in front of my eyes slowly fades as the speed increases. But as the vision becomes blurred it is becoming even more bright, the darkness it had held all the time like never before. Up above in the air somewhere a cable tangled in a very messed up way and I found my limbs tied in it, as I stay in it immobilised.

iv. So what I am a street dog, my sky bleeds red and my hands are tied, I can wait. I shall wait until I find my home, until the red in the sky gets exhausted, until the cables are worn out, and until the madness in my head wears out. I can stay and wait for me to return to the place or run for the place I wanna be. And when it happens, I shall reward myself with eternal content without sharing even a piece of it with he/her or whoever it may be. It is the matter of absorbing or getting absorbed by that invisible hole. You get it, right?

-Vaishdas

8 notes • Posted 2021-09-27 13:11:35 GMT

#4

Before even a word escaped my mouth, she spilt her words like it was so easy to say whatever she was saying. Beep!—a long beep filled my ears and brain nullifying all the events happening around me— a customer bumping into a table entering the shop, the waitress spilling the coffee while serving, an old lady moving around moping the floor and so were her words getting dodged by a thick wall around me. She hasn’t sipped the coffee yet, it became colder and I knew she hates when it’s not hot. She’s never been on time for our dates.

The eyes of the waitress were on us even though she tried not to witness this ugly thing. Whether it was for my clingy ass or her bitchy words, either was elegant for a third person to watch us. Time ticked backwards in my head swishing her memories, the happy ones like a movie. Looking at her face lacking any kind of expression, she must have been planning for this for a while now.

With simple words like “Please!” and “Sorry”, I wished this severed bond could be mended back to life. Her voice carried words, some pauses and disappointment, I waited for some pain and the pink of my heart flamed in red and everything became darker to pitch black.

The Kite and Yacht, a kite in the yacht. We made no sense—that I knew even before we started anything at all. The only thing that remained the same as before was the honesty in her words which reflected in her face as if she was born as a personification of the same. We weren’t two kites sharing the same sky, neither were we two Yachts sailing the same sea. We were a Kite and a Yacht, if she were to be a yacht I was the Kite in that yacht getting dragged to every direction it took. Now that the Yacht was found ashore, I guess the journey of the Kite came to an end just like that.

I guess it was because I expected this sooner or later, everything bitter got better in a few minutes. When I was having some worst thoughts in the last few days, I thought we both wanted this, but one of us had to step forward. And then it would have been a peaceful breakup, but this—huge breakout, shattering the world we had in a fraction of a second was not beautiful at all.

There’s a huge project we have been working on. I joined the after party the day we completed the project. It’s been three months, I had no other thing going on, the project had been engaging and not fun at all. There were days I would hate her for no reason and there were days I wanted to let it all out crying but tears just ghosted on me—the worst time to do that. I would go over to a friend’s place and watch soccer, rant about the boss. It was peaceful yet not in a settling way, the stench of something that had gotten over was still around me.

“Maybe we should meet!”, I pinged her.

I met her the day I got myself a book as a gift work—should have got a hobby sooner. I saw her walking towards me, she was late as usual. She was tired, noticeably. She greeted me and checked the time on her phone, her wallpaper was changed. It used to be a picture of a tree I clicked on our trip together last summer. Now, it was just her photo, it was a recent one. I have never seen that one before. Seeing things deeply might have helped me that night. Her smile, the colour of her nail and the style of her dress, everything changed. I realised the girl I have been in love with was nowhere to be found now.

I was not hoping to get together but a strange relief gulped me down that washed away the stench. We had dinner and updated each other with work-related stuff. Soon we ran out of topics and I was the first one to leave that day.

“Thanks for meeting me today!”, I was confused if we should have a handshake or not, I skipped it and chose to just smile and say, “Bye!”. I picked up the books and left the place.

-vaishdas

12 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 11:35:42 GMT

#3

MY DAY IS AN ORCHESTRA MADE OF SOUNDS LIKE…

The river that day had so much current in it, watching it flow wildly made the whole thoughts running in my mind halt for a moment. Regardless, I kept on walking along the pathway on the bridge, a few vehicles rushed past me at a high speed. In between was me, who made the pace balanced with my very careful stroll, alone in nothing less than unwanted thoughts. I felt the time sloth-like, too slow and dragging.

That’s when I noticed a person walking behind me, they must have been there all along my way or may have just joined behind me. The black shorts and a neon coloured shirt. Usually, I am not judgemental—trust me, I am not! I am not picky about colours either. But if you ask me if I would choose a neon colour for my outfit, it’s a huge ‘X’.

In less than a couple of minutes, our eyes met at the bridge, between the current of flowing water and the high speed of the rash drivers, like a softly blooming untouched Camellia flower. When no one witnessed only that person and I knew that encounter.

So now, I take the same path for walking every day, for no reason—I don’t want anyone else but for me to believe that as I play the same playlist. And when the same song plays, I turn around—again, for no reason, yes, I believe that. And when I find myself alone in a full-black attire, I go back home in silence. And that one day, the rain started, I took a cab. It was raining cats and dogs, the flow of the river was even more ferocious, like a hungry tiger. The trail of my walks was empty as my mind. But something crossed it when the cab sped past the neon colour something—I did not hope for anything, I believed, until that drive in the cab. And until I decided to walk in the rain rather than take a cab.

I knew that I anticipated every day, for another encounter on the bridge. My day is an orchestra made of sounds like a blooming flower and the rhythm of the rain. An unpredictable rhythm of rain and a garden of blooming camellia.

-Vaishdas

12 notes • Posted 2021-11-28 10:01:57 GMT

#2

I heard the utensils being arranged after wiping them on the kitchen shelf. The noise of clattering vessels kicked my spines to get goosebumps. I sensed the tension between the silence we both held after the party. Just before the lightning had the hearts sink in the pit, I saw the first drop of tears in her eyes. I was so insensitive and ignorant, I couldn't do well giving her a pat on her back and saying that everything was gonna be okay. If I had done it before, would it have changed how things turned out to be? I had no answer to the questions going on inside her head. Then I saw her bare face which was usually completely buried under coatings of make-up and the dark circles under her eyes spoke about countless nights she had spent awake worrying, turning and shifting in anxiety. I couldn't understand it then, couldn't decode the reason as to why she had to hide herself at the cost of her peace. All I could tell was the way her suffering sounded under the heavy downpour we had that night. Holding her journal, I feel so guilty not giving her a hug that night to say, "It is okay not to be perfect all time." Or I should have just taken part along with her to go through all the pain and sufferings. When I was not even ready to wipe her tears, I have no right to stand beside her in her joyful days. Like the time already decided with whom she should be, I left her before I could see her in her brightest days.  She was like a flower, she budded, bloomed into a beautiful flower with colours of her own, when she withered, she was gentle and subtle about her withdrawal from this world, in the end, she was a giver to this world. I was nothing but another bug sucking life outta her.  I feel guilty for not giving her the assurance she needed in this life. While I was playing busy, I should have put off those excuses to meet her when she was failing, and falling hard to every blow of life. And yet another morning I mourn her absence and the scent of her care around the air. I called off everything and lay on the floor just like she did and watched the void to understand her and regret not doing this sooner. -vaishdas, 'she lost to my selfishness and I lost her...'

15 notes • Posted 2021-10-25 10:40:43 GMT

#1

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night -Sarah Williams

Entering the house having the least trace of a human and more of the void. The ceiling was covered by the spider webs and haunting huge spiders staring down at me. I dropped my bag on the couch, the massive dust layered on the couch was let spread all over me. Some got into my nose and I started sneezing. I ran out of the house to get some fresh air, and I let the doors open while coming out so that the house got ventilated even a bit.

Not that the night was intoxicating nor the air was dreamy but it was my mind fogged by those thoughts that blinded my eyes and made it a bit hard for me to resist that huge sigh. The smell of the hot rice and the sound of frying something in the oil was filled in the street. I heard people watching television and laughing at jokes and hearing songs. I was dragged back to the days I walked roads alongside you who made me laugh with the stars like the moon who reflected you, the Sun.

The time never let me lose hold of your memories when I see the trails of some tyre, I wonder if the cycle you used to go on races was still good to go on a ride. I never hopped on your cycle because you never asked me to do so. The round eyes, huge lashes and sneaky smiles on random strangers often remind me of you.

There is always you, your memories and the stars surrounding me when I think of you. You, a faraway island that I can never step in is so exotic and tempting as any sweet I craved in my life. Those assuring words you uttered when I cried, those words you wrote on the last page of my notebook, I still treasure them more than anything.

Your memories spooking me around in some dreams where you do not recognise my snotty face anymore and walk past me in the street of an unknown city. And those memories of the real you who is still out of my reach killing me a little every day, I walk with it.

And finally the stars you bring around me, taking me up in the sky showing the actual butterflies and shooting stars. I fell in love with you and these stars you bring along while I was trying to finish that one ice cream before melting down. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Every star has a story to tell, and mine has the story of me falling silently in those bright round eyes in front of me and losing myself as it was not me but you who got craved through my eyes deep in my heart through those roads and casual words.

-vaishdas

17 notes • Posted 2021-11-20 13:52:02 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[animaestr0]

I posted 4,719 times in 2021

98 posts created (2%)

4621 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 47.2 posts.

I added 131 tags in 2021

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Longest Tag: 132 characters

#totally not exposing myself for my current hyperfixations because there absolutely isnt more than that and i just cant remember them

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

@jackie-shitposts AYO CHUPAPI GO SLEEP PLS

24 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 06:30:22 GMT

#4

yall just started watching kipo and ive realised ive been pronouncing kipo wrong this whole time.

its not kipo

its keepo

29 notes • Posted 2021-03-26 21:39:05 GMT

#3

simping on fictional and usually animated characters was not the lifestyle i envisioned as a child but here we are

38 notes • Posted 2021-03-03 07:57:15 GMT

#2

yall wh-

why do people draw fanart (WHICH I SUPPORT 100%) featuring one character without a trace of another character but use a ship tag?

like lowkey judging not gonna lie but also extremely curious??

45 notes • Posted 2021-09-29 21:56:49 GMT

#1

totally not me watching a show purely because theres a gay character/couple/ship in it

416 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 23:11:56 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[irregulardiaryposts]

00:53 21/06/2021

Hello again <3

so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.

i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.

so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.

i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.

so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.

anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.

i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.

i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.

god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.

20:21 30/06/2021

MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V

MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY

so

23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.

um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.

my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.

so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.

the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!

[chases-gerty]

hi! ive got u a prompt! gert x chase, but chase pining hard on gert and gert not even realising it omfg: “Gods I missed you, you have no idea how boring it’s been.”

Idk if you could call this pining but I still hope you like it. Set before runaways and doesn’t link up with my other drabbles. Thank you so much @zpidey-sense for sending in this prompt! ❤️❤️❤️ 

Gert flew into the room like a bee buzzing its way to the sugary drink you’d leave poolside on hot sunny day. Walking into Timely had made her buzz with excitement at the prospects of seeing her friends. Gert was happy to be back from her summer vacation with her parents. They’d made her and Molly tag along on their European Cheese Tour. Four weeks and eight cities all dedicated to her parents love of cheese. Gert was absolutely tired of cheese and her parents. Don’t get her wrong she loves them, but man they could be over enthusiastic about cheese.  

“I’m all cheesed out.” Gert said as she sat beside Chase.

Chase looked up from his tablet with wide eyes and a bright smile.

“That bad?” He said with his eyes sparkling with amusement.

“If I have to hear It’s all Gouda, Cheezus, and You gotta be brie kidding me one more time; I’m gonna lose my mind.” Gert replied with her famous eye roll. “I get it my parents love cheese but subjecting Molly and I to their obsession with cheese is plain old torture. I think my parents are like Leslie Dean, but instead of light and positivism getting shoved down our throats, its cheese.”

Chase’s laughed exploded out of him. Gert’s bluntness was so direct it was hilarious at times. His chest constricted tightly as he watched her laugh along with him. Her eyes were filled with a mirth that he’d only noticed he could bring out in them.

“Gods I’ve missed you, you have no idea how boring it’s been.” Chase says before he can stop himself.

He wouldn’t openly say something so real but he’d been missing Gert like crazy. She was a sarcastic bright light in his very dark life. He could pretend on the outside that his dad didn’t hurt him and his mom, but in his mind it played over and over. He constantly worried about his mom and how he could stop his dad from being angry at them all the time, but with Gert around his brain took a break. She always knew what to say to make him laugh and the amazing part was she wasn’t trying. Gert was just always Gert and that was the best part about her.

Gert’s eyes widen for a second and he could see a faint pink tinge settle over her cheeks. He watched as she opened her backpack and said.

“I got you this. It’s silly but I don’t know I just thought about you when I saw it.”

Gert held out a keyring with a smiling cheese ball attached. Chase didn’t know why but his heart felt like it was going to explode. He knew he was proably smiling like a dope right now but he just couldn’t help it. Gert could be the meanest, sarcastic, bossiest girl you’d ever encounter but she truly was the sweetest.

“Thanks, Gert.” He replied trying to contain his smile and added. “Chase the cheese ball has ring to it.”

Gert giggled as she patted his leg gently. That moment ,as he watched the only girl that ever seemed to matter to him look at him softly, he knew he’d never stop seeing her.

[bi-dazai]

@tragicallyphosphorescent

I'm going to respond to this one by one.

1. I never said pm me, i said don't respond as confrontationally. if i was in front of you in real life you would not engage with this discussion this way. im perfectly open to discussing and learning, with online spaces giving the benefit of allowing us to link sources. i also don't mind disussing these matters without someone being airy fairy friendly - id be happy for you to respond and discuss with me with the tone ive been using to respond to you. but you came in blazing and just immediately assumed the worst of me. you didn't ask clarification, you didn't provide sources nor any evaluation on why I was wrong with the coffee thing, nor why posting and saying what i did WAS ableist. if you don't feel like teaching me or discussing this, that's fine. but block me instead of replying, because by doing so you've said you want me to respond.

EDIT: i actually think you should have pmed me because we were quite literally mutuals.

2. Again you say you don't need to respond to everything that's hurtful to you. Then why did you respond? Also, it wasn't directed at you specifically, it was directed at a certain subsection of the online adhd community, specifically on twitter.

3. This is a screenshot of a tweet, not a Tumblr post. Make of that what you will.

4. I already clarified why i added my point abt the term add being not a diagnosis in the tags - it was semi-related to the post, and it was me saying a lot of these ppl on twitter who are adhd advocates/give out information abt adhd online still use outdated material and generalise every widely normal thing as an ADHD thing. this is misinformation. It can lead to people thinking they have adhd when they have something different, and getting incorrectly medicated, etc. The tone with many adhd communities ive found is that if a person says they relate to a single symptom, the community immediately tells them they must have ADHD. Any diagnosis of mental disorders and neurodivergency requires multiple symptoms occurring with enough frequency wherein it impacts the subject's capability to function. Circling back around to my point about misinformation and exaggerations being shared by accounts, id like to add that this tweet was from a verified account with almost 400k followers

5. There are in fact issues with people continuing to stick to an outdated diagnosis online, the least of which is perpetuating misinformation in online adhd communities and the worst of it is the person themself getting incorrect treatment. Imagine if I was diagnosed with manic depression, and then when that diagnosis was changed in the dsm-5 to bipolar i continued to just say i had manic depression. there are a ton of negative outcomes for both me and other people, ESPECIALLY if i am using that term when participating in bipolar communities.

6. Caffeine is a stimulant. when processed in the body it manifests in short bursts of energy (as compared to, say, fibre, which gives a much steadier and sustainable output of energy). this means that after this burst of energy is over, you get tired, especially when you aren't getting enough sleep. This is not "very much an adhd thing". This is literally just how the human body processes caffeine. I get tired after drinking coffee lol. I understand that the effect of caffeine is slightly different in ADHD - i know what coffee therapy is. but this tweet didn't say that.

6. If you actually read what I've been saying, you would have realised i am not being hateful towards ppl with adhd. i am, again, criticising a specific SUBSECTION of the online adhd COMMUNITY, namely on twitter. and as a fellow grown adult i hope you understand that i use the concept of generalisation with the understanding that i am referring to a rather unfortunately prominent trend in this group, and not every individual member. By using generalisation i criticise a strain of thought, an attitude, and a behaviour common throughout various (often micro-influencer) figures in this subsection of the community with which i have noticed a common trend. That trend of behaviours and attitudes can, in my opinion, be harmful, as i specified previous.

7. I can post what I want.

adhd 🤝 breathing oxygen

[hollandroos]

im so happy you're writing for koh!tom💞 okay okay, so i wanted to request something where the reader has been in a hell for a while now and she's grown close to tom but then he starts to interact more with a female demon and it makes her insecure because the demon is gorgeous. and her last straw would be at a ball he's hosting and she tried to dress up for him and he completely ignores her which upsets her loads and makes her more insecure. can it end in some fluff? ilysm and thank you!! 😍❤

This is 1.6k words long Im-

You felt really pretty that night.

And maybe somewhere deep down you’d dressed up for yourself– to make yourself feel good and pretty and nice and all those things. But as stupid as it sounded, you knew that you dressed for him, to make him focus all his attention on you.

You strutt into the palace ballroom with your plush, white wings full on display. They were the ones Tom claimed to love so much, the same ones he swore he could spend hours running course fingers through. They were the only white ones, purely because you were the only angel– a fallen one. You weren’t good enough to stay in heaven but not bad enough to wear the dark shade.

‘They’re the prettiest fucking wings in all of hell,’ He’d mutter. ‘Nothing can compare.’

It didn’t work.

You felt like a goddamn queen, a white rose in a field of red and the dress you wore showed off more then what would’ve been allowed in heaven. You knew you looked good, it didn’t take a genius but that nerve wracking feeling in the pit of your stomach was already full go.

But maybe it started when you had to step into the ballroom by yourself instead of with one of his arms around your waist, his black wings brushing softly against your exposed back. Or maybe it was when you took those first few steps into the ball room only to be met with the jet black eyes filled with nothing but anger and a hidden desire.

None of which were your boyfriends.

You still felt anxious towards demons that weren’t Tom. But not tonight. Tonight your eyes were dead set on Tom, growing with even more anticipation by the second.

Look at me, you wanted to shout, notice me, I dressed up for you.

He didn’t look up from his glass of red wine and you didn’t let your anticipation or need die. There was a fire burning in the pit of your stomach, growing with every smile that etched itself onto his lips and following every drop of crimson red that stained his lips.

You just wanted his attention back for one second, to feel an arm around you or lips against yours– and not in a rough, rushed way. You wanted to feel him love you. You wanted your fears to leave for a moment, for them to simply disperse.

Everyone seemed to be staring at you but Tom and the two girls he was standing with. Their gazes remain on him, boring holes into his crisp white shirt, the top two buttons already undone but you remembered that he left your bedroom like that. You did that, you popped them undone between heavy kisses and riskay hand placements.

One of the girls you recognised from the day before. She was utterly gorgeous and someone you found Tom had been seen around once or twice lately.

You snatch a glass of wine off of one of the trays, muttering a thank you beneath your breath as you go straight in for a heavy mouthful. The next thing you go for is your boyfriend standing staunchly in the very corner of the room, his black wings expanding over your head and brown curls slicked back.

“Tom?” Your voice sounded sickly sweet over the music, words dripping like honey and he responded roughly– words striking like venom but when did they not?

“Darling? Oh, you made it.” He smiles, stepping away for a brief second.

The girls send you a scowl. You don’t give them the attention they so desperately want.

One of his hands snake around your waist, his warm lips going to your temple and you smile, rosy red lips curling up. “I did, I actually got here a few minutes ago.”

“Really? I didn’t see you come down?” He remarks. You resist the urge to make a sarcastic comment just yet because he probably didn’t realise what he’d been doing– that for the last three days he’d made you feel unimportant, made you worry that you were losing his loving gaze and actually threatened by a demon.    

“What do you think of my dress?” You force a smile and do a little twirl, the end curling around your heels.

“Looks good.” Then he turns back to the girls. “So, what was I saying…”

You drown out his voice.

‘Looks good’

You were used to him telling you that you looked stunning, show stopping, ravishing, perfect beyond words. Good was still a complaint but it was one that you weren’t sure meant a lot from him.

Suddenly you began worrying that the middle was tugging at your waist too much and the lace sleeves were ripped in one place or another and the end was too long– maybe too short and too much of your heels were exposed.

You had gone from feeling sexy to suffocated, graceful to anxious that this was all too much.

So you tear his arm away from you, forgetting about the fact that only moments ago you were craving his physical touch and spin around on your heels. If you hadn’t of had so much practice in them since leaving heaven then you would’ve fallen– most likely taking a waitress or two down with you and that really would’ve been the icing on the top of the cake.

Tom knew he messed up the second he said those two words but was too egoistic to admit he. He would have drowned you in love and meaningful words. You were spectacular, sweet, utterly sinful.

And if you were alone he would’ve kissed down your neck, lips leaving a trail down your shoulder. The king would have climbed onto his knees for you, choked on his own words to show you in other ways what he thought of you in that dress but he didn’t know what was wrong with him.

“Sweetheart–”

He watches you clamber away, clenched hands folded in front of you as you gently shove past a crowd of demons. None of them dares to stop you and Tom follows behind, somehow

“Y/N, C’mon.” He practically begs, yeah, begs.

“What do you want?” You snap, just wanting to climb into your shared bed in a t-shirt and sweats– only Tom wouldn’t be in it and you’d take comfort in petting the man’s hellhound. You wanted to get rid of the makeup and the fancy hair clips and jewelry–

“Why don’t you tell me what it is that you want?” He watches your face remain the same, your teeth remain clenched and eyes hardened. “You look gorgeous in that dress, you do yeah?” His hands run down your waist but you don’t make any mores to stop him– nor spur him on. “You look amazing in anything.”

You push your lips into an angry pout, crossing your arms across your chest. By now you were in one of the many halls surrounded by paintings instead of demons. “I just wanted to get your attention.”

Music pounded through the walls.

“You’ve definitely got it–”

“No, I didn’t until I stormed out of there looking like smoke was about to come out of my ears.” You meet his normal, coffee brown eyes and let your face soften slightly. But you weren’t about to let him off the hook. “You’ve barely given me any attention for days and I’m at the point where I feel like I need to fight for it because you’re always busy or paying attention to what’s her face in there… I feel like I have to dress up like this to get your attention and even then it clearly doesn’t work. You haven’t taken the time to kiss me like you actually love me or make love to me in a week or so–”

The back of your throat burned but you didn’t notice that, because all you could focus on was the fact that he was mere inches away from you and your back was pressed up against the wall and it was intimate and you were alone.

“My love, look at me.” Tom takes your chin in his hand gently, bringing his lips to yours the second you met his eyes. His lips were warm, lightly chapped but still gentle against your own. The wine he’d been drinking stained his lips. It was careful, loving, and you feel yourself go limp against him, body instantly moulding against his own. “You’re everything, you hear me? Everything and more. You’re on my mind every second of the day, your voice plays in my head when I’m alone

“C’mon, Tom, I know you’re the king of hell and you’re all high and mighty but I… I need you.” You feel your voice break as his fingers softly caress your cheek, then over your bottom lip.

“And I need you too.” His voice is hoarse and raspy. “I need you in times like this to snap me out of it when I’m being an absolute dick. It sounds sappy but I need you too.”

You bite your bottom lip, tasting the bitter remains of the alcohol. “You hate being sappy.”

He notices the laugh you’re trying to suppress and smiles. “But it’s you, you make me sappy and I– I love it. I’m still learning how to do this entire relationship and sometimes I mess up and that’s no excuse to hurt you so call me out on my bullshit all you want, knock me down and tell me to wake up. I’m bettering myself for you.”

Only adding tags because this is a long one: @cosmetologynerd @holland-ish @smexylemony @thewiseandfree @zendayacolemen @dej-okay @hollandsletters @ive-got-some-lies-to-tell @liz-gayllen @marvelismylifffe @lovelyh0lland @tomhollandandmarvelsworld @woah-jess @southsidefandoms @justannothermonday @its-claire-louise @sophiatomlinson23 @mockingjaygirl1221 @joyfullyjenny @damnhisfaceisliketheskyatnight  @bride-of-loki-odinson @in-the-corner-coffee-please @futuremrsb-r-main @spideyyypeter @saturn-aka-six @c0prolalia @buckykinz @ashtonsbandannas @dennasaur @amyyleblanc1999 @fnosidam @randomfangirl1701@maybeandperhaps @acciorinn @marvel-language @micki-smiles @justmesadgirl @converseskyline @niall2017 @gavemylifetotomholland @tomuchmarvel @leslieandjensen @painted-soulss @practicallylivesonline @mischiefmanaged49 @its-the-unknownspidey @holyrose96 @for-my-mind @mlxbm @erindillon11 @captainbuckyy @shawnandhisroses @converseskyline @smitten0-0kitten @parkeroos @whileinparis @unicornio-vomita-mierdas @draqcnheartstrinq @rainyboo-posts @mikalaka @petxrpxrker @tony-starks-ego @thedaydreamingwriter @peter-quackson @kateelyse96 @lesbian-jesus-jr @wheresmyquill @elyshugh @hollanderheart @tomshufflepuff @marvelismylifffe @tomsh0lland @obsessed-fandoms @girl-in-the-chair @trashqueenbitch @dramatic-and-young @honey-honey-5644 @parkerluvs @chingonaconcha @captainbuckyy @jes-sica1 @tomsfireheart @Rainbow-marvel @spideysimpossiblegirl @spideys-gurl @thomasstanley-holland @mlxbm @ixchel-9275 @parkerssweb @peter-parkersbb @tom-hollands-eyelash @starlightfound @vldlvj  @paradoxparker @lustfulcry  @mlxbm @musiclover1263 @justatheatredork @peterparkerscamera @fandomnerdsarecool @thequeensardine @cutesy-angst @httplayer @mischiefmanaged49 @loca-lola @softboyparkerr @desir-ae @dangerousluv1 @t-hotland @laucontrerasv @peter-parkersbb @whatdafricklefrackle @thatblondebelgiangirl @fairydustparker @they-call-me-le @jamiemac26 @nephalem67 @underoos-tom @quaxon-holland @lovelyspidey @no-shxt-sherl @xlatinaaxx @starlightfound @mikexpeter @moonandstars-xo @httpmcrvel @evelyn120700 @fromheroestodust @hollandfieldblurbs @ghostlypandacolorpersona @spazclaiire @curlyhairedparker @josierosie @unicornio-vomita-mierdas @icondy @euphoricholland @desir-ae @lovelyspidey @thelazypangolin @ameeravioli @ramen-tically @mellifluous-tom @mrs-webslinger @krazykiara @scottyisthatyou

[9km-archive-blog]

sorry if u got the notif for the other one tumblr’s a bitch!!!

ight lads so ive been meaning to do this since like last year, back when i was still a baby, but unfortunately due to personal circumstance (me being lazy) i havent done so!! so here i am, 10 months after i made this blog, doing my first follow forever for all my mutuals! whoop whoop!!!!! 💕🌷🍉 (if ur not a mutual that means u must have unfollowed me like five seconds ago but just ignore this!!! also if ur a sideblog i may have skipped u so pls hmu so i can add u in)💚🌱🐨

i just wanted to say a massive thank you to all my stunning and lovely mutuals you are all total angels that i hold very dear to my heart ✨💗 like im genuinely in love with all of you even though some of you are nasties and intimidating i still want to be ur friend ☹️ tbh some of you i realised like idek who you are i never see you on my dash?????? yall are ghost mutuals thats cool as fuck like i dont even remember following you but i do so you must be cool its the rules 😪 ive also included my long suffering dan and phil / youtube mutuals, im sure ur all sick of this kpop bullshit im so sorry i love all of you you’re all beautiful people 😘 AND i even included ppl who haven’t reblogged my selfies!!!! SHOCKING!!!! reblob my next ones and you’ll get a pay rise xxx sdfgsf jk sorry for rambling i literally never stop fucking talking,, anyhow i love every single one of you, yall should hit me up im sad and lonely and i’d love to talk to you guys!!!!! you’re all sunshines 💛🌻💫 if i missed anyone out come punch me

SIDENOTE: i haven’t bolded / added extra emojis for my favs like i was gonna say some bs like ur all my favs (which u r but i have like FAV favs) but nope im just lazy lmao 😩 also im guessing half of u are like ‘who is this gal’ but like im still in lov u cant stop me ❤️

yall r too cool for me ok lets go

@01clc @01hoseok @01jeonguk @04pm @06trbl @1bread @1headache @1ipsticks @1iwoo @1jin @1of1grl @1rapman @1sistar @1stlove @1uha @1una @1vrse @2choi @2hobi @2kard @2soon @2tea @4gguk @4jihope @4jimn @4parkjimin @5jjk @5myg @6-10 @6aek @7hope @7jeon @7oonie @7seyoon @7unhui @9yoong @13egin @13kth @13pjms @17dad @19ksj @28x03 @88gf @93yoong @95taehyung @98zy @130jeon @9795 @acurlyphil @adoreseokjin @agapelester @agusdt @agustboy @agustdslut @agustphd @amazingdodie @amazzjin @analester @angelyoons @artaehyung @artsyhobi @artychim @asleepyphilly @asoftboye @astonishowell @astrosivan @atomicjin @ayokos @b0mi @baangtan @badtrait @baekkgum @beeguk @bfkook @bfmoni​ @bfnochu​ @bimyg​ @bipjm​ @birbhowell​ @blackhearthowell​ @blasphemy-phan​ @blushguk​ @bookishlester​ @brightphil​ @btees​ @bubbleteasweet​ @busans97​ @cappudino​ @caretae​ @celestialesters​ @chanyoel​ @chenkhyun​ @cheol-s​ @cheolsgrl​ @cittaphons​ @chocolatehowell​ @chokemeseokjin​ @chubsgf​ @clannads​ @cloudbrina​ @cluelesslester​ @cocoaphil​ @confettibangtan​ @courageinej​ @crispyphil��� @crumbcakes​ @cryjeon​ @ctrbl​ @cuddlesuga​ @curlypcy​ @cyoungsjae​ @dadinof @dandromedas @dandyphil @danielhowel @danjoon @dansucc @dantichrist @dawniel @dazzling-daniel @dearjisoo @dempheels @dodiedoodle @dolcegf @donteatjin @dreamyten

e-i @e-young @emeraldphil @ethereal-hobi @exactsoo @fallawayoongi @ffstaehyung​ @fireboltdan​ @fiveshinee​ @floweringlester​ @flowerylester​ @fondnp​ @foureyedphil​ @fringegaps​ @g1rlsbycbx​ @gem-howell​ @glasshowell​ @glazedtae​ @glitterfacehowell​ @glitternailshowell​ @goddesslester​ @gothicsuga​ @gravityphil​ @gyeomify​ @gyushoney​ @heathenshowell​ @heccphil​ @heijze​ @hellelves​ @hobigays​ @hobisluvr​ @hobismole​ @hobisnovia​ @hobtea​ @hoejisoo​ @homesicklester​ @honeyboysgf​ @hoseok​ @hoseok1e​ @hotseok​ @howelle​ @howelljesus​ @hyungwyn​ @ihateseokjin​ @iloveredvelvet​ @iloveyoojung​ @ilovwonhui​ @ilujoy​ @iluyeri​ @ilykimtae​ @ilyoonqi​ @ilysmyoongi​ @incrediblehowell​ @iridescentlester​ @ironicphantrash​

j-n @j-houba @j11min @jacksoons @je0n @jennickim @jeonbia @jhoe @jiminhale @jiminpng @jiminsglo @jiminshugs @jiminssi @jiminsthot @jinbaby @jinsluvr @jmnie @joon420 @joonsbih @jpg-exo @jpghope @juhhyeon @jxmines @kainks​ @kim-yerim @kisstae @koiphil @lattejun​ @laycult​ @leafhobi​ @lesbiansuga​ @lexasivan @lilshithowell @lisas-girlfriend @lonelyhowell @longlivekookie @lovebydean @loveutae @lovingyu @lullingbees @luminousphil @lumoshowell @lvoeletter @m1nqyus @magicallyhowell @masterlester @minblushh @mineu @minsleepi @mintyaegyo @minyccngi @monetphil @my-lungs-will-phil @mytaeddy @namjin @namkookies @nappingsuga @nc127 @nerdjeongguk

o-s @oddpjm @ohyeahbts @onlynochu @oohyoongi @overjxyed @p6y @pacifistpadme @phandizzle @paradisedan @parkejimins @perfectionlester @petalveins @pettybam @phaked @phanable @phandum @phangar-io @phangtan @phanheda @phanlaughs @phantastically-unsure @phantasticallylester @phantasty @phantell @phantilogy @philpancakes @piercedtae @pityhowell @plantpotphil @pointlesssuga @prettyshuas @princephil @pt3 @pugseok @pvnkskies @pyomin @rapmons1er @ratinof @ravehowell @redhowell @renjs @rninyoonqi @rosysuga @rowoons @sadimples @salemhowell @scarletwine @scowlhowell @seokjinsgf @seulgisgf @sf9ult @shuasgf @sin-phil @sleepytae @sleepytessahtml @smileyphil @smoltheatrekid @smoothiehowell @snugglejin @snugglyhowell @soft-jihoonie @softjm @softygi @softykook @sonicpng @soojeno @soonyoungs @sopethot @sprignday @squishy-lesters @starboydan @static-howell @stigmz @sugarlipslester @sugaselfie @suntaes @swimmingfool @syubah

t-z @tae1 @taechy @taegay @taeonie @taes1 @taesflower @taesies @taesoft @taev @tatinofdan @tazehyung @the95s @theaterdan @themochiguy @thiccphil @thicksehun @thyngkm @toasty-phan @trashpaintedgold @tttae @uchisuke @velvetkth @warmestdan @whiterosephil @whyuna @winelatte @wingsalbum @wittyhowell @wlwjieun@woozji  @writerlester @xohoshi @y0ungforever @ybora @yiffxing @yixseok @ymgi @yongily @yoomn @yooncook @yoong7 @yoongiart @yoongisgaybff @yoonjins @yoonminet @yoonshook @yootzu @youngjai @yug97 @yugmeme @yuras @yuuri-png

some ppl i couldnt tag n when i looked their blogs were gone!!! idk if they deactivated or i just typed their url wrong but anyways this is a memorial message for those guys rip

also while im here s/o to all the ppl ive talked to like once then never again,, ilu,,,,,, im sorry,,,,,,,,

ALSO s/o to the peeps that read all the bullshit at the top,, and this shit…. you the real mvps heres a gold star ⭐️⭐️⭐️

[imaginedilestrade]

The Girl Next Door

A/N: The final chapter! The epilogue will be posted soon!😁 I've loved writing this series! Thank you to everyone who's liked/ reblogged/ commented! It means the world 😊 next week I'll be posting a new fic so keep our eye out 😁😉 ———————— Chapter 13 ————— There was blood everywhere. It soaked though your clothes and stained your skin a dark crimson colour as it oozed out of your body. Your breath quickened as you tried to compress your wound with trembling hands. Harry Jones let out a strained scream as he removed the knife from his arm, spraying your face with blood as he did. He attempted to finish you off but Sebastian's figure hovered above the both of you and he shot Harry with gritted teeth. Seb dropped the gun and fell to his knees beside you "Stay with me Y/N" he practically demanded. You let out a yelp as he forcefully pressed his hands against your stomach, John helped him as Sherlock watched on and phoned an ambulance. They didn't care who you worked for, you certainly didn't deserve to die. Tiling your head to the side you gazed into the lifeless eyes of Harry Jones, they were slightly bloodshot and the thin intricate veins in his eyes began to fade. You bit your lip to alleviate the pain you felt in your stomach but it didn't help "This is it Seb" you breathlessly told him with tears falling from the side of your face. "No it's not," he told you, trying his best to remain composed and pressed his hands tighter against your wound "So shut up and stop talking like that". You felt a tear splash against your cheek. It was his. Jim soon enough kneeled beside Sebastian and you looked up at them with bleary eyes and a smile. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I lied" you softly sobbed out as Jim wiped away your tears. "It's alright," Jim soothed "Don't focus on that right now Y/N. The ambulance is on its way. Come on just keep your eyes open" the consulting criminal begged. "Who else is going to help me annoy Sebby? Huh?" He let out a small chuckle and you lightly laughed. You swallowed hard, your mouth was becoming dryer with each passing second. Your head fell slightly to the side so you could see him for one last time "I'm sorry Greg" you weakly reached out your hand for him and he intertwined his fingers with your bloodied ones. "You'll have a lifetime to apologise to me won't you?" His eyes stung with the warm tears that gathered in them, they slipped out of his eyes when you shook your head with a no. Your vision became clouded with dots of black and white as your breath became short. "Keep talking to her!" Sebastian snapped causing your eyes to shoot open slightly at his tone. "Okay..." Jim breathed out nervously "Did you know we've been considering adopting this lovely little boy called Jack?" Jim told you with a wide smile, Sebastian smiled at the mention of his name. "Re...really?" You asked while trying to stay conscious for them. Jim nodded as tears began to stream down his face "Yeah, yeah we are. We've filled out the forms and all the paperwork and we are going to meet him soon! You'll be his aunt! You'll be an amazing aunt won't you? I bet you'll spoil him all the time" Jim's voice broke as he clutched onto your hand tighter, he felt how cold it was getting. "You'll be good parents," you breathed out as your eyes began to flutter shut. You felt your hand being pressed against Greg's lips "Greg..." You breathed out as your eyes softly shut. Specks of flashing blue burst under your eyelids as various voices called your name before everything crashed into oblivion. Your eyes began to screw shut from the blinding white light that seeped under your eyelids, encouraging them to open. You tenderly allowed them to peel open revealing nothing but light. You let out a low groan under your breath as your eyes adjusted and the light was replaced with a Styrofoam tile ceiling. You felt a hand wrapped around yours, your eyes flickered down to it, then up the arm of the person and then to the face. Sebastian. He looked like he hadn't slept for days. "Seb..." You hoarsely whispered out, your mouth was dry and your throat was still fragile not to mention the fact that you were exhausted. You lightly squeezed his hand and his eyes slowly opened before they shot open seeing you awake. "Oh my god Y/N," he stood up, still holding your hand and peppered kissed in your forehead "You fucking idiot!" He let out a watery chuckle "You could have died!" "How long have I been out?" You asked and Sebastian's eyes fell to the floor. "A week," the patches attached to your skin picked up your racing heartbeat after hearing that you'd been unconscious for seven days. Sebastian calmed you down by gently stroking your hair "It's alright now, you're awake. I knew you'd pull through." Seb smiled and rubbed his thumb against the top of your hand that was currently being impaled with a needle attached to an IV drip. The door creaked open and Jim stepped in, his jaw dropped rushing over to your beside seeing that you were awake "Y/N!" He smiled and pressed a kiss to your bruised cheek "How's my second favourite assassin doing?" He asked with his eyes glazing over slightly. "Geez I get shot in the stomach and I'm still only your second favourite?" You smiled, Seb and Jim burst into a fit of laughter "I'm okay, a bit sore". "I can get the nurse to up your morphine now you're awake. I'll go and get her" Sebastian pressed a kiss on your forehead and left to fetch the nurse. You could barley look at Jim without guilt flooding you "I lied to everyone I loved". "I know..." Jim trailed off slightly pursing his lips. You looked at your hand that was being held in his before continuing "But I did it because I love all of you. I didn't want to have to choose between Greg and you two. I thought I could live two lives. I'm sorry I disappointed you and Seb by falling for a man who's a DI. I fell for a man that could expose us all". "Love is...funny," Jim started talking, not entirely sure how to word his sentence "It's just one of those things I guess where if you're happy then we're happy. Don't let mine and Seb's opinion stop you from what you really want. Plus we're always going to secretly be annoyed with any guy you fall for because we are both overprotective shits". You laughed loudly and then winced from the pain caused by the jerking motions your body made. "He's here. He never left". You narrowed your eyes at Jim before they softened with realisation "Do you want me to send him in?" Jim asked. "Can you do it without killing him?" You asked with a sarcastic undertone which made him roll his eyes. Jim left and he was soon replaced with the brown eyed, silver haired boy next door. A smile that didn't reach your eyes welcomed him into the room and he sat down beside you. "Hi" you croaked out. "Hi..." He repeated. Then silence filled the room and the only noise being made was from the various monitors that were attached to you. Greg took in a deep breath before speaking "There's a part of you I don't know." "That's correct." Your eyes flickered to the ground "Are you going to arrest me?" You asked. Greg let out a sigh "That depends, are you going to tell me everything?" "I'm afraid to tell you" you admitted. You were on the verge of dying a few days ago yet you were more petrified of this moment than dying. Dying would be less painful. Greg narrowed his eyes at you and placed a finger under your chin, encouraging you to look at him "Well I can't arrest you over that. Why are you afraid to tell me?" He softly asked. "If I tell you you'll think I'm some sort of monster, that you won't feel the same way anymore..." A tear slipped out of your eye and Greg was quick to wipe it away with his thumb. "You're not and never will be a monster, Y/N. Don't get me wrong I'm pissed that you didn't tell me who you are and that there's a part of you I don't know," he paused for a moment "Yet" he added before continuing "But the part I do know I've fallen in love with. It's beautiful and charming and bursting with happiness and life, I can't help but love you". "You still love me?" You asked with your voice slightly cracking "After everything that's just happened?". Greg nodded with a small smile "I can honestly say you're like no other woman I've ever met" he chuckled and you laughed, wincing slightly from your wound. Greg stood up and checked you over, "Greg..." You trailed off trying to catch his attention "Greg....GREG!" You raised your voice and he froze. "I'm aright" you reassured and he kissed you. It was delicate, he was afraid to break you more than you already were, but his lips didn't move from yours until a uncomfortable nurse cleared her throat. She upped your morphine and left as soon as she arrived. You felt the liquid quickly spread though your body, alleviating your pain and making you drowsy. "I'll leave and let you get some slee-" "No!" You cut him off and reached your hand out to grip onto his so tight that he knew you were never letting go "Please stay with me" you asked and he did. "Can..can I kiss you?" Greg nervously asked. A small smile spread over your face "If you do, I'll have to kill you after" you joked. Greg smirked and leaned over to press his lips with yours "Worth it" he mumbled before kissing you again. Sebastian and Jim watched through the window as you pulled away then began to slowly fall asleep holding Greg's hand. "What do you make of it?" Jim asked "Do you think they'll last?" Sebastian glanced at his fiancée before looking forward to you and Greg. A small smile flickered over his face. That was enough of an answer for Jim. ——————— Tags: @viragannav @musingsofophelia @damnitman-jamlocked-inthetardis @heaven-bound-angel @mycdiary @anamericanplaywright @princesspeach212 @adorablebadger @cutie1365 (Also I'll be making a forever tag list so let me know if you would like to be on that 😁)

[sparklemybuttercream-blog]

Jealously - Joe Sugg Imagine

A/N-  hiya! just wondering if you could please write an imagine where you're best friends with oli and dating joe. you've just spent a whole day hanging out with oli, and when you get home joe acts a bit jealous?

“Hello everyone, today’s video i’ll be doing the best friends tag with one of my best friends Y/N” Oli started his introduction to his video.

“One of your best friends? I think you mean I am your best friend” I sarcastically added. 

“So she believes” Oli winked to the camera. 

“Just get on with the video”

“So i’m going to ask Y/N some questions and we’ll see how well she knows me. Every time she gets one wrong, a pie will be thrown into her face” 

“Ugh i didn’t agree to this” Mentally preparing myself because i was rubbish at these games. 

“Right we’ll start off easy, when is my birthday?” 

“I know this!! 26th January” I grinned knowing i was right. 

“Correct! If you didn’t get that right i wouldn’t of been happy. Next one what was my first youtube video called?” 

“Oh god, i dont know!”

“You don’t know? Thanks Y/N you helped me film it” 

“I remember but i dont know what you called it! Im going to have to guess.. Introduction to my channel?” That’s when i knew i was wrong as a pie was splattered into my face.

“It was A New Start” Oli laughed while i wiped pie out of my eyes. 

The video continued and i only ended up with 4 pies to the face. What can i say i’m a pretty good friend. I helped Oli clean up the mess which was made and help pack his equipment away. After all that was done we ordered take-away and watched a film. Loved having quality time with my best friend. Realising the time, 8pm, i knew it was about time i heard off back home so with saying my goodbyes off i went. 

“Babe i’m home” Closing the door behind me taking off my shoes and coat before continuing into the front room.

“Babe?” I called out again as there was no response the first time round. 

“Where have you been?” I saw Joe sitting on the sofa editing his new video, speaking without looking at me.

“I’ve been at Oli’s filming a video why?” I placed my bag on the table looking at him confused. 

“You went there this morning and its now night” Still no eye contact. 

“I got caught up with time” 

“You said before you left you would be back for dinner, i even cooked you a meal yet you never showed up”

“I’m sorry ok just got caught up ive already eaten but i can just warm the meal back up” 

“You already eaten? Well that was a waste of time cooking”

“What has gotten into you?”

“Nothing just that my girlfriend was meant to come home for a meal i specially cooked but she never told me she was eating out with another guy”

“That guy being Oli. Are you jealous or something?” 

“No? Why would i be jealous?”

“Because you don’t normally act like this” I headed over to the sofa taking a seat next to him. “You are jealous arent you?”

“You spent the whole day round there, you didn’t even tell me you werent coming home for dinner” Joe mumbled clothing his laptop screen down to finally look up at me.

“You’re jealous” I smirked, 

“If i agree will you shut up?” I nodded waiting for him to continue. “Fine yes i am jealous” I giggled and pinched his blushing cheeks. 

“Aww my babe is jealous, you don’t have to be jealous you know” 

“Yes i know but i missed you” 

“Well now i’m all yours” I smiled placing a kiss on his lips.