#i just randomly typed this up
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What is irep and Goldie(the triangle fairy) up to in this au?
Goldie!!!! Hihihi hello!!! Goldie is a Leisure Fairy! She specializes in Light Magic, so she goes around bringing sunlight to different parts of the world on Earth. Whenever a child prays or makes a shrine asking for sunlight, she responds to it!!
She has a very bubbly and bright (hah) personality!!!!!! On the surface. Goldie has a reputation to maintain as the "cutesy happy-go-lucky sunlight fairy", but in truth, she's pretty jaded for a fairy. She drops this facade around her close friends.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop goldie goldenglow#fop goldie#fop irep#goldie goldenglow#irep#asks#itty bitties fop au#Goldie is the kind of girl to stop you from texting your ex when drunk#shes also the kinda girl to remember everything about you and bring it up randomly#like. the type of person you can trust to be very very honest about something. gentle!! but wont hold punches#i just realized goldie's outfit looks like the typical anime girl uniform#but i prommy it isnt#its worse actually.#i based her outfit on junko from danganronpa.#bcs in my head goldie sounds like. well NOT like junko. but like her sister pretending to be junko
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guys mk11 Kenshi isn't dead he's just retired and relaxing all day living with Johnny TRUST ME
#mk11#kenshi takahashi#johnny cage#johnshi#kencage#mortal kombat community#mk fanart#harvart#I've been like obsessed with mkx Kenshi in a lounge robe..it just makes sense#I was coming up for a reason maybe why he would retire and the only thing I could think of was an injury#im sure he wouldn't just retire randomly. He's the type of guy to have work as his life#I can sense more Kenshi drawings in my future#it's pride month after all xd#also bunny and doggy johnshi inspired by izu ^_^
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For Dru (@fortheloveofaussiegrit), thank you for completely and utterly brainrotting me with this moment 🙏
#HEHEHEHE SOO HAPPY WITH THIS AAAAAHHHHHH#hope you like it dru <3#originally i was just going to draw oscar with the plushie#but then im like wait....mark is the type to proudly take pics of him(that clip of him taking pics of oscar)#but seriously that clip literally fucking murdered me#like it starts off with him randomly being all cutesy like#'oscar was tucked into bed 🥰 with his teddy 🥰🥰 which is a kangaroo actually! 🥰🥰'#which like murdered me on the spot. was literally just slapping my chair at that#and then the rest of the clip praising him and then comparing at the end#THANK YOU MARK FOR THAT. I GUESS.#just like. he hears party and champagne and his first thought is oscar cozy in bed...okay 🤔🤭#two theories(i said this to dru already):#A. he is telling the truth. i mean cmon came up with that one so quickly!#B. they had a private party to celebate oscar's win-*I am forcibly dragged away*#but jokes aside. so funny for mark to just headcanon on broadcast#f1#formula 1#mark webber#oscar piastri#2023 qatar gp#oscarmark#i dont know if ive actually ever seen any oscarmark fanart before? interesting#catie.art.
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I've been rewatching Mushishi and hhh this series is everything to me..!! One thing I just love so much is how it could've been so easy to make Ginko a quiet, brooding and all-knowing, morally pure type of mysterious guy, but he's so not?
He's expressive and funny and likeable and calming and kind of rude! He genuinely cares, but doesn't always fulfil his promises. He's very smart and has a ton of knowledge, but he very often doesn't have the answer to a problem. Sometimes he even gives advice or takes steps that end up doing more harm than good. He's also not above pranking, haggling and downright scamming people lmao.
In conclusion, I love him very much and would like to be his friend :3
#he's the type of person who shows up randomly after months (or let's be honest: years) and it's just nice to hang out and chat#mushishi#ginko#finally found a way to get Dutch subs so that my mum can watch along#I'm so glad I can share it with her.#I've had some attention problems which made it hard for me to watch stuff I need subtitles for#but watching it together helps a lottt#so I'm finally truly watching it again T_T#I hope my mum wants to watch House of Five Leaves with me as well - it's been too long since I watched that too
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big dog
#the randomly chosen palette just ended up being the shiny version#arcanine#fire type#shiny arcanine#pokemon#random palette pokemon#I should probably put that tag on all of them#I dunno why I decided to start drawing/posting these now when I'm about to go away for a week#I'm good at planning#I started this and almost finished it like two months ago and then did the last 1/4 of it the other day#Gen I
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big question
#i think i just randomly typed this in at some point of my life for the funny and it decides to pop out again#getting jumpscared by wr? it's more likely than you think#anyway i was gonna search up are dolphins assholes originally#i know they are i just wanted to look it up for the confirmation that they are in fact#assholes.#jhagdjkgdakgashg#also what the ever loving fuck is going on with tumblr i refreshed my page and all this shit tumbles out
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i love dead boy detectives to death, and hope with all my being that we can Somehow pull off getting it back (through netflix or otherwise)
but honestly if we cant? if we get stuck at where we are now forever? i honestly think ill miss the potential s2 soundtrack the most
#okay HEAR ME OUT#weve got Hundreds of fics! maybe thousands! (i havent checked the actual count)#which means more Cases and Interactions and Anything that we could get from a new season#weve got fanarts and fanartists Galore that capture So much So powerfully#which means we can Almost see anything weve not gotten!#but the sound track? the Absolute Bangers we already got from season 1? i dont know what we have to make up for that#like. ive got a playlist im working on with all the songs i can find while retwatching. and already the Power the music has is insane#first of all the songs are just So Good? but also i can imagine the show (or parts of it) just by listening to them#every time one of the songs come up randomly i get to think “oh yeah! this song! from this show i love!”#its like a little constant reminder of the incredible scenes and characters and just The Whole Show!#idk ik everyones feeling their own stuff about all of this but losing the same“type”or“feel”of music we could get is really hitting me lol#does anyone else get this? does anyone else feel the same?#anyways if anyones interested in the playlist i can post it here once ive finished it :D#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#dbda#og
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new TSATS prediction based entirely off the interview from the UK Rick Riordan newsletter
#pjo#nico di angelo#riordanverse#tsats#the sun and the star#this isnt spoilers this is just a silly#i do find it funny whenever people say Nico is Catholic though cause we dont have any actual indication of that other than he's From Italy#he doesnt have catholic guilt he has internalized homophobia. those are different things#listen his mom was a clear-sighted mortal who had TWO children with the god of the underworld who also was implied to help raise said kids#nico ain't catholic. this boy has never been to CCD. < source: i went to CCD /neg#however im already taking TSATS as fanon so i will laugh if Nico is randomly confirmed catholic#now Will? Will i could see. Will raised catholic? yes. Nico raised catholic? no.#in my brain Nico was raised with like. his parents having mixers in their parlor room with Maria's socialite friends and misc chthonic gods#like. Nico's babysitter growing up was Menoites (herdsman of the cattle of the underworld) type situation#seriously though i can only think of 3 details that would vaguely imply Nico is raised catholic and that are:#one instance of him helping Percy pick out a christmas gift for Annabeth (though everything in that short story was ooc tbh)#(and also Nico didnt actually ever imply he specifically was celebrating christmas)#two: Percy describing the situation in Sword of Hades as ''spending christmas in the underworld'' (nico is just kind of there)#and thirdly again: Nico's just from Venice#like. did he go to a religious school growing up? possibly! doesnt mean he was that religion though just means his school was#and even then we actually dont know if he wasn't homeschooled before moving to america#in which case yeah figures the like 3 months he spent in Westover would teach him random outdated stuff#they needed to send him to a sketchy school cause the di angelos dont have any records and if their material is outdated#then that's less likely to mess with Bianca and Nico's wiped memories#but demographically speaking its entirely likely that the entire larger di Angelo family arent christian anyways#everybody with misc varied headcanons about the demographics of the di angelo family i give u a little kiss on the forehead#''but what about Nico learning the wrong version of that one myth'' see again: could have learned it at Westover#and also. tbh far more likely that it was a 1930s thing than a religious thing#cause if we're talking staunch catholocism i dont think they'd be teaching him much greek mythology at all#anyways this has been: im far too amused by the phrases 'that boy has never been to CCD' and ''Nico has Become Catholic'
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Little "bouquet" of random flowers I found growing wild in a yard
#flowers#photo diary#I think people are way too mean about ''''weeds'''' and not appreciative of them. Like.. dandelions are super nice looking#and bright and pretty.. forget me nots are so cute and a nice color.. etc. all of these random things that just spring up in the yard#are so neat. and it's evil that people tear them up and mow them down all the time#I guess maybe I get dandelions because they can kind of take over a space?? MAYBE?? but even then#if I was going to have a yard that is just a giant empty plot of blank grass. I would ratherit have a scattering of dandelions than#just like....... nothingness.#Also super cool that this person I know has columbines growing wildly in the yard. They hate them and pull them up#since they've kind of ''taken over'' a patch of grass near a bench they use#but they're soooo cool... Though they only have the single color ones just purple. My favorite columbines are the ones that are two colors#and almost look like two flowers in one or something.#There's a hill near a road around here where poppies seem to be growing wild.. ough... I wish I could go and take some or something#I've tried to transplant forget me nots everytime I'm in some realitive or friend's yard who has them and I ask to dig a few up but#I think theyre just not the type of flower that really grows long term on a deck lol.. but I wish they were... I just really like the blue#color. THOUGH this year in someone else's yard I found a very cool flower just randomly growing wildly that I had never seen#before. It's called Bethlehem Lungwort and it has spotted leaves and multi colored flowers and it looked like a flower out of a cartoon#at first. Since it was randomly growing wild in a yard the person let me dig one of them upand its' still aliveon my deck actualy#It's not blooming flowers anymore but the leaves are still prospering fine. Though it seems to really dislike the super hot sun#and will wilt in this heat wave if I'm not watering it at least once every other day lol.. anyway
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Repostober 22/31
sweater buddies !!
#leoichi#platonic leoichi#holy shit that previous tag either doesn't exist or doesn't come up when typing it#I really hope it's the latter#ok so this came from me trying to draw leoichi but not wanting to draw anything romantic#as I was in a study hall with a lot of people#and I didn't want people seeing my phone randomly and seeing me draw art of the tortoise and the hare being romantic boyfriends#so I just drew some random lines of not rabbit and not turtle kids for the sketch#then made them rabbit and turtle when I got home#So I came up with a miscellaneous hc#that Leo and Yuichi had these sweaters that were WAY too big for them#but still got them for silly reasons#repostober 2023#REPOSTOBER#leo rottmnt#leonardo rottmnt#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt leonardo#usagi yuichi#yuichi usagi#there's a part 2 to this art#but that's the next repostober thing#Lettuce Arts
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Slowly working on the “get what you get” randomized monster commission spectacular extravaganza thing. Are there anymore monsters I should consider adding to my list 🤔 I feel like I’m missing some obvious ones. These commissions are going to be slightly tailored more towards the things I can write about easily/ enjoy the most so I may not include every single thing out there. (My og commissions you can specify anything you’d like :3)
Werewolf, Alien, Dragon, Naga, Orc, Tentacles, Plant Monster, Demon, Minotaur, Merfolk
#if I add another I’ll update the list here#these can include humanoid and not humanoid versions its all explained in the commission form I’m working on#basically have a form you put all your info and some other stuff and then pick a ‘flavor’#aka if you want it sweet#mean#cnc type stuff#etc#and then I’ll randomly select a monster and a few kink elements from a list and make a custom scenario#base at like 6-700 word minimum for $10 ??#theyll be less specific than my og commissions in terms of what may happen but you can still include or exclude things you may not like#thought about doing ‘monster match ups’ for valentines day but i don’t think i could come up with anything clever for that#maybe ill do it just for funsies or for like $1 one of these days#set up a quick romantic scenario between you and a monster pinning for your affection lol
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WHOO HWKKWNE A 20.06k YAYYAYA i’m not sleeping when it comes out
(meet frank)!
22k now that we mention it 😭 it’s 2:22am where i live rn, so i’ll continue writing tmr but school’s starting again so it’ll be a little harder to continue. it’s the most important year for me since i’ll be applying for uni now 😟
but i recommend you get a GOOD night’s sleep BEFORE it’s released bcz it’s a long one with soo many things going on.
on another note, i’m here for the support and it motivates me more than you know :)))
hi frank! 🤭
#frank gets infinite kudos for making an appearance#idk who he is but that’s the point#helllooo frank!#b4tm4nn motivating me to write this late into the night#everyone thank her when the chapter comes out#‘thank you b4tm4nn’ we all say in unison#her and a few others that randomly send in messages tips and asks#i see you#i appreciate you#ily#b4tm4nn ily#girl ur name pops up after i type ‘b4’ on my keyboard 😭#🩷#the chapter is nearlyyyy done#but it WILL border 30k words#i can already tell#i predict it’ll be out near next week#and at its earliest maybe by the end of this one#we shall see#🤭#ty everyone for ur support#ty b4tm4nn for ur random asks and messages they’re so sweet and ilysmmmm#wish i could show you just how much#i think i show it in my writing#but is that enough?#<3
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~ On a scale from one to ten my friend you're ✨fucked✨~
#i dont ever post pictures I've taken outside of my drawings that are on paper but my god is this something#for context the following has happened:#tornado watch#thunderstorm warning#power outage#fire alarm just randomly going on and off again#something near a power like just fucking exploding#tree branches falling#and all of this just..... came out of no where too-???#seriously it was warm and sunny and barely cloudy before this started#then the weather just decided 'Nope!' and gave us this#what#(some more info - this kind of stuff isn't really too common around where I live so this is pretty weird)#oh also the lightning has looked pretty crazy as well#inkyucu#(this started probably around an hour ago - the picture being taken before the rain started)#(also apologies for any misspells in here I wasn't really paying too much attention while typing this all up)
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{ It's time to say hello to the parentals for the Yumishi siblings! And yes, that's right, you count four parents. Two sets. Why? Because the Yumishi family is actually very convoluted compared to most normal families. }
{ First off we have Lucifer, who can be found over on @resxntmxnt once I get everything settled, as the biological father of both Myth (who is also over at @resxntmxnt) and Rain (who's over at @negligxnce). He is the ruler of Meikai no Ryōiki, also commonly referred to as the Realm of the Underworld, altering his original seraphic genetics with dark magic to turn himself into a being known solely as the Demon Lord, yet due to having originally been a seraph, he possesses the ability to shapeshift. Lucifer was the original lover of Kisuyo Yumishi, happening upon her by sheer chance within Seikatsu no Ryōiki, also known as the Realm of the Living (aka the human world), one day when she was being attacked by a group of humans that believed her to be the leader of a cultist group (due to the fact she is heavily religious while the mortals of Seikatsu no Ryōiki have no religion/do not believe in religion of any sort); and despite Lucifer's reputation of being a cruel and mischievous being, he went out of his way to rescue her by slaughtering the humans responsible for her injuries.
Once certain that she was safe, Lucifer began to tend to her wounds with his magic, trying to keep conversation to a minimum though this did not last long due to Kisuyo's curious nature, leading for Lucifer and Kisuyo to eventually develop a strong bond for one another — thus resulting in the birth of Myth and Rain. Yet despite this, Lucifer did not stick around for his lover nor his children and ended up returning to Meikai no Ryōiki, leaving Kisuyo with two children to care for all on her own due to the fact that Kisuyo would not be able to survive within Meikai no Ryōiki. He is devastated by the news of Kisuyo's death.
Secondly we have Michael, who can be found over at @anxmosxty once everything is settled over there, as the biological father of Koui and Yuuela (who is also over at @anxmosxty). He is the ruler of Serafu no Ryōiki, also commonly referred to as the Realm of the Seraph, proudly taking his duties as a seraph to heart, earning him the title of Head Angel by those within Serafu no Ryōiki and as a seraph, he possesses the ability to shapeshift. Michael is the second lover of Kisuyo Yumishi, though unlike Lucifer who was willing to care for her, Michael instead was disgusted with her and the fact she had two children with a man she wasn't married to, often pretending to seem kindhearted towards the woman only to judge her in secret. The only reason he would actively spend time with her every day was because of a rumor he'd overheard from the other seraphs about a woman who had given birth to a pair of twins that possessed unnatural abilities for human children, thus he took every chance he could to get close to her and her boys. Though during his time with Kisuyo, he soon discovers that despite all the reticule she receives from the mortals within Seikatsu no Ryōiki, she stills holds tightly to her faith in the Goddess, which in turn makes Michael begin to view Kisuyo in a different light.
Within time, Michael realizes he's fallen in love with Kisuyo, thus resulting in the births of Koui and Yuuela. Unlike Lucifer, Michael is consistent with his daily visits to spend time with his children and Kisuyo, even going out of his way to treat Myth and Rain as his own. Though, once word gets out that the woman from the rumors has had two more children with unnatural abilities and has her identity revealed, Michael stops visiting Kisuyo and her children out of fear of being casted out of Serafu no Ryōiki by the current Goddess, Heiliger, once she discovers that the children born are a forbidden species known as hybrids — constituted of a law that forbids other species from breeding with anyone other than their respective species — and have a contract placed on their heads to be exterminated as soon as possible alongside their mother. He is devastated by the news of Kisuyo's death.
Third we have Kisuyo Yumishi, who can be found here, as the biological mother of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela. She is a resident of the more olden timed area of Seikatsu no Ryōiki (because Seikatsu no Ryōiki is home to a more olden timed section and a more modern timed section of the realm for those who prefer the more technologically advanced lifestyle or those who prefer the more dated lifestyle), also known as the Realm of the Living, and is presumed to be a human woman by those within the world of Mir Ender. In reality, Kisuyo is actually the daughter of the Goddess, The Sacred One, thus making her a demi-god and serves as a vessel for the Goddess' will within the various realms of Mir Ender. Despite not seeming to possess any abilities, she can actually see the future and share her sight with The Sacred One, but doing so requires a lot of angelic energy and can overwhelm her senses thus why she wears a black cloth over her eyes, leading many to believe that she is blind. Kisuyo is the third oldest child of The Sacred One, being the younger sister of Oizys (the Archfiend of Melancholy), the older sister of Adios (the Saint of Humility), and the older sister of Sophrosyne (the Saint of Temperance), meanwhile Adephagia is the Archfiend of Gluttony. Each of said sisters possessing a mortal name for their travels among the other realms: Adios known as Oka, Sophrosyne known as Maleia, and Adephagia being known as Kisuyo. Oizys is the only one of the sister's to not possess a mortal name out of disinterest in hiding her true identity, thus her sisters simply call her by the name "El" within Seikatsu no Ryōiki among mortals.
Before having her children, Kisuyo was sent to live within Seikatsu no Ryōiki by The Sacred One in order glean how the mortals were fairing in their daily lives, making gathering intel much easier so The Sacred One can make the lives of her residents easier if need be by sending one of her daughters to assist the morals in their true forms (and not as "mortals"). During her time within Seikatsu no Ryōiki, Kisuyo plays the role of a devote worshiper to The Sacred One, serving as a shrine maiden at the Holy Chruch of Heiliger, additionally teaching her children about her religion and convincing them to believe as well. After being abandon by both of her lovers, Kisuyo is then hunted down by an assassin and is killed in front of her children while on their way to the Holy Church of Heiliger for their daily worship, though she does not actually die due to being a demi-god and instead is simply comatose for a time being (until Oizys is able to retrieve her body and awaken her), yet this is unbeknownst to her children who believe she was murdered.
Lastly we have Sire, who can be found over at @prurixncy once everything is settled there, as the biological "mother" of Nikusui (who is also over at @prurixncy) and Inori (who is over at @vxinglxry). You're probably wondering why I said "mother" and not mother. Well, that's because Sire isn't actually a woman in her true form, but is instead a man and said man is Lucifer. Yes, that's right. I said Lucifer. The man I talked about all the way at the top of the post. That Lucifer. Myth and Rain's dad, Lucifer. Demon Lord Lucifer. The one and the same. "Why the hell would Lucifer become a woman to have two children?" Because he blames Michael for the death of Kisuyo and wanted to get back at him for taking away the only woman he loved so dearly, just like Michael believes that Lucifer is the one who took Kisuyo away from him. The both of them believe that the other is responsible for the death of Kisuyo. Why? Because they are both sworn enemies and have always been at odds ever since the incident involving The Sacred One and The Twelve Saints of The Sacred One/The Twelve Heavenly Virtues due to the fact they were both present at the time. The incident that caused The Sacred One to fall into a catatonic state and the divide of The Twelve Heavenly Virtues, which in turn also created the false Goddess known as The Forsaken One and The Seven Archfiends of The Forsaken One. Lucifer and Michael don't trust one another and know that the other would be more than willing to do anything to take away the other's happiness if they could. And yes, they're both aware they fell in love with the same woman.
Basically, Lucifer decides that the best way to exact his revenge on Michael is to become a woman that he can trust and love and become so deeply intertwined with that he simply can't live without her. And that is exactly what happens. Lucifer becomes Sire and acts as a beacon of hope for Michael while he secretly (because he can't let anyone know he was involved with Kisuyo) mourns the lost of his lover and the inevitable loss of his children (since they're being hunted). Sire becomes Michael's crutch. And during a moment of weakness, Sire repeatedly takes advantage of Michael's desperation for his deceased lover, resulting in the births of Nikusui and Inori. Though much like he did with Myth and Rain, he takes Michael's new children away from him and leaves them with Warwick, someone that worships and follows Lucifer, to raise the girls in secret — leaving Michael alone once more to fester about the disappearances of his new children and lover. Only later in time does Michael discover that Sire was Lucifer in disguise. }
{ So if all of you have gotten past all of that, it's time to tell you the exact relations of everyone within the Yumishi family in case you're confused. So here were go!
Lucifer and Kisuyo are the biological parents of Myth and Rain.
Michael and Kisuyo are the biological parents of Koui and Yuuela.
Michael and Sire (aka Lucifer's female form) are the biological parents of Nikusui and Inori.
Kisuyo is the biological daughter of The Sacred One, the absolute Goddess of the world of Mir Ender.
Kisuyo is the younger sister of Oizys, the Archfiend of Melancholy.
Kisuyo is the older sister of Adios and Sophrosyne, the Saints of Humility and Temperance.
Oizys, Adios, and Sophrosyne are all the biological aunts of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela. They are the adoptive aunts of Nikusui and Inori due to the fact neither Lucifer/Sire or Michael are related to The Sacred One.
Myth and Rain are biological brothers (twins).
Koui and Yuuela are biological brother and sister.
Nikusui and Inori are biological sisters.
Myth is the biological half-brother of Koui and Yuuela.
Rain is the biological half-brother of Koui and Yuuela.
Koui is the biological half-brother of Myth and Rain.
Yuuela is the biological half-sister of Myth and Rain.
Nikusui is the biological half-sister of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela.
Inori is the biological half-sister of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela.
Warwick is the adoptive father of Nikusui and Inori.
Warwick is the adoptive uncle of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela.
The Sacred One is the grandmother of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela. She is the adoptive grandmother of Nikusui and Inori.
#.♡ ~ [ ' ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴏғ ᴍɪʀ ᴇɴᴅᴇʀ; ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴇxɪsᴛs ᴛᴡᴇʟᴠᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍs... ' ] - ✡ ᴄɪᴘʜᴇʀ: ʟᴏʀᴇ ✡#{ Whew- That was a lot of typing that I had to do last night and most of today. }#{ But I randomly had the idea to type all of this out last night so I just went for it. }#{ But here is the whole post about the parentals of the Yumishi kids! }#{ It's a very messed up family with a lot of twists and turns in there. }#{ At some point I'll probably make a post about The Sacred One and their aunts. }#{ But that will have to wait until I find them some proper face claims. }#{ So in the meantime... just enjoy this post. }#{ I wanted to type more in-depth stuff about them... but I didn't want the post to get TOO long and I didn't wanna get people all- }#{ confused about all the different relations and shit. Oh and I'll probably add Warwick to the post with The Sacred One and the aunts too.#{ But hopefully this is good enough for some people. }#{ Now if y'all will excuse me. Imma go back to replaying Resident Evil 4 Remake. }
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slob superhero
A story I wrote a decently long time ago.
In Slob City, 'Villains' intend to ruin everyone's lives by cleaning up the city or making everyone healthy but Slobguy always saves the day.
I wanted to write more about other villains but i never got around to it (and don't have many ideas for them) so the only story i have is this one: Captain Health arrives in Slob City and terrorises the populace with things like 'vegetables' and 'exercise'. Slobguy puts aside the important business of lounging on the couch to stop him.
It was a beautiful day in Slob City. Trash filled the streets, noxious fumes filled the air and the city's overweight residents pigged out on junk food from the fast food outlets on every street corner. Bob Gutt sat in his house, watching TV as usual. It was an uneventful day and Bob was trying to work on getting his full twenty-three hours of sedentary activity and stick to his 200 step limit. He scratched his gut lazily and slurped on a milkshake. He could sit like this all day.
Unfortunately, the world had other plans. Just then, the reality TV show Bob had been watching was interrupted by a news report. 'We apologise for the interruption,' the news reporter said. 'But this is breaking news.' The reporter was dressed in a food stained T-shirt and was overweight, just like Bob. It was highly likely he was wearing nothing but an old smelly pair of underpants under the desk, but then again lots of people in Slob City walked around in their underwear, so that wouldn't be much of a surprise. 'A strange man has appeared in the city square, home to the world's largest food court, and is apparently forcing people to eat healthily. We turn now to John for an in-person account.' 'Thanks Mike,' the screen split in two to show another reporter, this one standing at the city square.
He was dressed similarly sloppily to the first reporter. 'That's right: a mysterious man who calls himself Captain Health has been terrorising innocent civilians and making them eat things such as "vegetables" and "fruits".' 'What are they?' Mike asked. 'I don't exactly know,' John replied. 'It's the term that this Captain Health is using to refer to these strange foodstuffs. I have yet to see one in person, but an eyewitness saw one and said it was a green coloured object.' 'Green?' Mike said confused. 'Yes, green. A far cry from the normally golden brown deliciousness we eat daily.' 'How are the victims?' 'Terrible, Mike. One of them told us she was feeling healthy and refreshed, like she could run and jump about all day.' 'That's horrible!' 'I know. To make matters worse, it even appears certain victims have begun to lose weight.' Mike shuddered. 'I can hardly stand the thought.' Just then, a brightly dressed man appeared beside John. 'Hey there,' he said. 'I'm Captain Health. Would you like something to eat?' The reporter was initially scared but suddenly a calm washed over him. 'OK,' he said. 'Sure.' 'No! John!' Mike cried, but it was too late: John had already accepted an apple from. Captain Health and had taken a bite. His eyes lit up and he looked more vibrant instantly. It even seemed like he was a little thinner. It was disgusting. 'Wow!' He exclaimed. 'I feel so much energy! I want to go for a run or something.' John dropped his microphone and dashed off. Mike was left speechless as the feed cut off. 'We apologise to any parents watching with their children for any traumatic images they may have been exposed to,' he said. 'We will keep you updated on this situation as it unfolds. We recommend you stay indoors and continue to eat junk food.' Mike took a bite out of a hamburger sitting on his desk and slurped some soda. 'Belch. For the time being, we will return to scheduled programming, but keep on the look out for any updates throughout the day, burp.' The show Bob was watching returned and he sighed.
'I guess that puts an end to my plans to do nothing.' He got up and went to the toiletroom (houses in Slob City didn't have baths, or showers for that matter) where he pulled the flusher of the toilet in the opposite direction. Suddenly the toilet moved to reveal a capsule and a tunnel in the wall. Bob hopped in, kicking a few empty soda cans out of the way, and the capsule brought him down deep underground. Soon, Bob arrived in a large cavern. It looked like a cross between a garbage dump, a garage and an office: trash littered the floor and a few large vehicles sat in front of a garage door, while off to one side a desk covered in papers faced a widescreen TV. Bob went over to the computer at the desk and typed a code into it. From the wall, a glass cabinet containing a superhero costume appeared. It wasn't exactly your typical superhero costume. It did have visible underwear, but that was because there weren't any pants to speak of. The top was just a dirty singlet and it didn't even have a mask. To the untrained eye, it would just look like someone's dirty laundry if it weren't for the big SG emblem on the singlet drawn on in food stains and the smaller, brown one that emblazoned the back of the undies, drawn using something better left unmentioned. In reality, it was a high-tech outfit designed for a superhero. Bob swapped his regular clothes for his costume and typed at the computer a bit more. A map of Slob City appeared with the city centre shown by a red circle. 'It's not too far away,' he noted. 'I think the ol' Slobmobile will suffice.' He pressed another button and the vehicle in mention turned on and the garage door opened. Bob's chair moved him to the car and he hopped in. 'OK, Slobguy is go!'
Bob, you see, was no ordinary man. He was Slobguy: defender of the gross, the dirty and the unhealthy. Slob City's saviour.
The Slobmobile sped through the city streets, leaving a trail of dirty exhaust in its wake. Very soon he reached the city centre and saw the havoc unfolding: everywhere people were exercising and running about. It was unlike anything Bob had ever seen before. 'I have to save these poor people,' he said. He turned to the nearest person he could find, a woman doing push ups. 'Ultra-lazy Yawn!' Bob cried and let out a loud yawn. The woman slowed down and seemed tired all of a sudden. 'Oh, I'm feeling… sleepy…' she yawned. 'I better take a nap…' Bob smiled. This shouldn't be too hard. Just as he was about to move on to the next person, he noticed the woman stirring. 'Ah, that was a refreshing rest,' she sighed. 'I feel even more energetic!' Suddenly she started doing push ups at an even faster rate than before. 'Alright, looks like that just made things worse.' He thought about the problem. 'What I need to do is fight this at the source: the vege-watchimacallit things. Maybe if I can get them to eat some junk food, they'll go back to normal.' Bob pulled out a slice of greasy meat lovers pizza from his underwear (one of the special abilities of his undies was that they could store anything). He offered it to the woman. 'Hey, would you like something to eat?' The woman shook her head. 'I'm still full from the celery I ate. It's full of fibre!' Bob didn't know what "celery" or "fibre" were and he didn't want to find out. 'OK, that didn't work either.' He took a bite of the pizza: no use having it go to waste.
He got an idea. 'I'm looking at this all wrong: the source isn't the food, it's the guy giving it out! Captain Health!' 'You called?' Captain Health himself appeared before Bob. Bob was shocked: he had never seen anyone so thin and muscular in his life. The guy looked horrible. 'Would you like something nutritious and fresh to eat?' he smiled. Bob shook his head, but soon felt a strange compulsion rush over him. He felt a desire for something healthy. It was unsettling, but Bob could barely control himself as he took a carrot from Captain Healthy's outstretched hand. Just as he was about to eat it, he heard a cry. 'No Slobguy! Don't!' Before he could put the vegetable into his mouth, he saw something come flying from the direction of the voice. It landed into his mouth and Bob chewed. It was a doughnut. A delicious, sticky, sweet doughnut. Bob was broken out of the trance and quickly let out a yawn. Captain Health was overwhelmed by the yawn and fell to his knees. 'Whew,' he sighed. 'I feel, tired, all of a sudden…' Bob looked at the carrot in his hand and used his slob powers to rot it and then create slimy muck that held Captain Health in place. 'That was a close one,' he said and looked to try to find his rescuer. It was a young guy, in his late teens, overweight and slobby like the average resident. He waddled over to Bob, panting. 'I was worried,' he said. 'I thought you might eat that thing and lose your powers or something, then we'd all be doomed.' 'Thanks kid,' Bob smiled. 'What's you're name?' 'Federico, but you can call me Fed.' 'I'm Slobguy, though you know that already.' 'Here,' Fed said, giving Bob an XXXL soda. 'Drink this so he can't do that same trick on you again.' 'Thanks, I could do with a quick-thinking assistant like you,' Bob grinned. He couldn't dwell on this for long, since he had to deal with the matter at hand still. 'So, Captain Health,' Bob said dismissively as he sucked on his drink. 'What have you done here?' Captain Health groggily opened his eyes. 'I was… trying to make everyone here healthier,' he explained. 'So I formulated some ultra nutritious vegetables designed to improve weight-loss and health. I knew you all would probably resist my efforts though, so I decided I would have to use some mind control to get you guys to eat the fruit and vegetables in the first place. I know it was a bit heavy handed, but it was for your own good.' 'How do you control this hypnosis thing?' 'It's the vegetables,' he said. 'It's a mix of scent and sight cues designed to make them look appealing.' 'And where are you keeping them?' 'In those boxes over there,' Captain Health pointed. Bob walked over to them and stopped drinking for a moment in order to let out a massive belch. The vegetables decayed quickly in the noxious fumes.
'That's that dealt with,' he said, scratching his bum as he headed back to Captain Health and Fed. 'Now we just need to get everyone unfit again.' 'Eventually they'll get hungry again,' Fed said. 'And when they do we just need to feed them junk food.' 'Ha, that's where you're wrong!' Captain health exclaimed. 'My hypnosis make them hate junk food so much that they'll only eat vegetables!' Bob thought this over. If only there was a vegetable that was also a junk food. Unfortunately, Bob didn't actually know what a vegetable was. 'Hey, Health dude,' he said, turning to Captain Health. 'What are vegetables?' 'Do you mean an exact, scientific definition or do you really not know what they are?' 'I really don't know,' Bob said. 'But let's just make it easy: give me some examples.' Captain Health was a bit confused, but obliged. 'Let's see… Carrots, broccoli, cauliflower… lettuce, kale, asparagus… Potatoes, I guess… Artichoke, cabbage, tomato, but technically that's a fruit…' 'Wait a minute,' Bob exclaimed. 'Go back.' 'Cabbage?' 'Further.' 'Artichoke? Potato?' 'Yes, potatoes!' Bob had an idea. 'Fed, get me all the potato-based food you can find. If anyone asks, tell them it's for Slob Guy and that he'll pay them back.' 'Will do, sir!' Fed headed off and so did Bob, buying all the potato-based fast food they could get: chips, potato cakes, fries, potato mash with gravy, those potato swirl thingies, and so on and so forth. When they had enough, Bob went over to one of the victims. 'Hey, I bet all that exercise has made you hungry. Want something to eat? It's made of vegetables.' 'I don't mind if I do,' the woman took the packet of chips and ate a handful. 'Wow! These taste so good!' Suddenly her healthy radiance faded and she stopped doing star jumps. 'Ooh, why I am exercising?' she asked, confused. 'I need to go home and sit down for a while…' Bob's plan had worked! He and Fed went around, handing out potato goods to everyone and eventually they were all back to normal. By the time they were through, the police had arrived to deal with Captain Planet. 'Sorry we're late, Slob Guy,' one of the officers said, licking a bit of icing sugar off his top. 'We had to stop to get some doughnuts.' 'That's all right, I'd have done the same.' 'What do we do with this guy?' 'I think I've got a punishment that'll fit his crime…' Bob grabbed a potato cake from the pile of junk food and brought it over to Captain Health. 'Eat up, Captain Health!' 'No! No!' Captain Health squirmed but it was no use and Bob forced it down his mouth. All of a sudden, his vitality drained out of him and he looked tired and weak. 'Junk food is my one weakness,' he explained. 'My powers have been lost…' Bob smiled. 'Now you can enjoy a life of laziness and fast food just like the rest of us.' He turned to the officers. 'Take him away, boys. I doubt he'll be causing any more trouble anytime soon.' The ex-captain Health was taken away and Bob was left with Fed. 'You know, Fed, I think there might be an opening down at Slob Guy HQ for a sidekick. How would you like to be it?' Fed's eyes widened. 'No way! It'd be a dream come true!'
And so the day was saved and Slob Guy now had a new assistant: the Piglet!
#burping#slob#weight gain#Author's commentary: i originally had the idea of making a league of heroes with different powers#like one specifically with burping/farting powers#another who was lazy and could use telekinesis and teleportation#a fat one with the power to convert their fat to energy#and a messy one with powers to make things dirty/rot#But 4 characters is more work than 1#i also recycle names a lot bw stories bc im lazy#typically the names act as a shorthand for the personality/character type#also forgive the weird paragraphing but I write this stuff on Notepad and just paste it here#but tumblr has character limits for 'blocks' so i had to break it up randomly in some parts#I've re-used Slob City for another story but I haven't gotten very far with it#That one is a more simple 'neat person becomes a slob' story
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Rook has changed the way I see him specifically and honestly?? I'm ok with that
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#I could bite him#absolutely ravage him to the brink of death#hell we could hunt each other and I'd be <33#he shows up randomly out of nowhere?? that doesn't matter hiii Rook <333#now my mind is blank um#they're more in depth than this but I could barely type this without backtracking so#I'm insane abt Leona is a loving way and insane abt Rook in the same way but also just insane <33#I'll stop now sorry guys#I've become a different man as of late 💔💔#excuse me and my horrendous thoughts#I could never go into detail or I'd be embarrassed and die bc of it#I'll fully indulge Rook in his odd ways and maybe even join him#ok I'm done fr now apologies
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