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starr-fall-knight-rise · 5 years

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Humans are Space Orcs, “Recruits, Regulation″

Recruits Kimber, Alvarez, Han, and McCaster sat mostly slack jawed in the little conference room on the command deck of the UNSC Harbinger. The little alien doctor they had called ‘Krill’ was standing at the front of the room, and in general military fashion, he had a powerpoint holographically projected over the far wall.

On the projection currently was a diagram of a human body, the kind you would see in high school health textbook.

The little alien was pointing vigorously towards the diagram, “And here, right here this little opening that leads into the bladder is called the urethra, and if you STICK things in it, it gets grossly infected and causes horrible urinary tract infections.” The group of recruits simple sat there in shock, “This, this is the anus, this muscle was designed to push things out not take things in. In fact, if you try, the negative pressure created by your adventure can pull things INSIDE your colon and up your large intestine. The procedure for getting that out might include surgery, but could just involve someone like me reaching up there to grab it out.”

Mouths gaped in astonishment.

They couldn’t be living through this, could they.

“This, this machine right here is the mechanism used to close the airlock doors. If the airlock doors get jammed, do NOT stick your hand inside to try and fish them out, because this may cause something called degloving…. If you don’t know what that means, its when all the skin peels off your hand like a banana and-”

The door at the far end of the room hissed open, and they turned to see the commander, of course the man didn’t just walk into the room like any normal person. He glided in on his ‘heelies, hands clasped behind his back like he was standing at parade rest. It was such a strange sight, considering the man was wearing an officer's uniform and a captain’s cap having ditched the sunglasses from earlier in favor of the eye patch, which did not, in fact, seem to be a joke, but was definitely part of his everyday wardrobe.

He came gliding to a halt next to them, “You made a powerpoint?” He asked in mild amusement.

“Of course I made a powerpoint.”

“Hmm,” The man shrugged, “Guess it makes sense.”

“Can you let me finish.”

The man grinned, “Afraid not. We are about to launch, and I have it on good authority these four have been invited to the bridge to see the spectacle.”

The little doctor sighed, “So human by way of his exasperation that it was hard to tell he was even alien, “Alright go then, but when one of them ends up in my infirmary with some stupid injury, I am going to blame you.”

“You blame me anyway.”

“That's because I am convinced you are the amalgamation of human stupidity and recklessness.” The recruits looked nervously back and forth between the two. Its not everyday you watched an officer get insulted to his face, but the man just smiled and laughed blowing the entire thing off.

“Well I’ve never gotten anything stuck in my colon, so I guess I’m not a good representative, anyway.” He pointed to the four of them, “Come on. I think you’ll want to see this.”

Nervously the group of them stood and followed the Commander through the open doors walking along behind his gliding form.

He had…. Not been what they expected. They had seen the movie trailers, heard about his exploits, watched flight demonstration videos, in certain cases, and even received lectures about intergalactic relations based on transcripts from his conversations, and or interactions. He was a legend at the academy, at the forefront of human/alien relations. All the books were written based on what he had done or what people in his crew had done. He had been the first man to SEE sentient nonhuman life.

And there he was, wearing an eyepatch and heeleing down the hall like a botched middle school costume party. Not to mention, when they had heard of him, they had immediately assumed it would be someone older and more experienced, someone graying at the temples who had seen more life than he knew what to do with, but this…. This guy wasn’t much older than them. Young enough to be their older brother, or their older brother’s weird ass friend.

Then there was that smile, like he didn’t have a serious bone in his body, and they were expected to follow this guy?

How could they take him seriously?

“Um… Sir, I don’t mean to sound…. accusatory , but.” He glanced over his shoulder back at them, green eye sparking with some unknown emotion.

Recruit Kimber pointed down at his shoes, “Um, are those regulation…. With the uniform or…”

He grinned again and turned away, “Uniform regulation Gama on the proper maintenance of footwear when wearing uniform. Footwear must be classified as a dress shoe and come in Mat black or grey, no laces.” he pointed downwards at his feet, “These are slip ons, and in the online description they were described as a ‘dress shoe” maybe it was on a technicality but I took a screenshot just in case anyone asks.”

They stared at him.

“Um…. sir…. I hate to sound like an….ur well…. But you arent exactly…”

“What you expected?” The man finished, coming to a stop and turning to face them.

“Well.” Alvarez rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah, I mean you…. Well weve read about you in military science and tactics, and we sort of just assumed that you’d be more ...”

The conversation died away as the young recruits shifted awkwardly.

He smirked, “you thought id be some old stuffy officer with years of military experience. Some regulation stickler with a metal rod shoved up my ass, yes sir, no sir, you say jump, I say how high, that kind of person?”

They shuffled their feet awkwardly, but didn’t answer.

The man didn’t break his expression, “Well this is the reality. When I was a kid I used to set up my telescope out on the lawn, hoping I would see a UFO I trained for over five years in aviation to get my ass on board the Enterprise, because I wanted nothing more than to go to space.. My first trip to space was in an F-90 darkfire, and I nearly died. I was on the forerunner team that stepped foot on Proxima b and then when we receive incoming radio signals from an unknown source,I accompanied them as well. There I was the first person to see extraterrestrial life, not only that but I helped to establish linguistic contact between the two races. When the Drev war happened, I was deployed when I never should have been, lost my leg become a part of operation steel eye fought through withdrawals and PTSD before crawling back to the UNSC only to learn that the GA Knew me and trusted me enough to want me as the human representative to the rest of the galaxy.” He paused for a second looking them over, “All of that, was just one big accident. I was in the right place at the right time, and aside from training as hard as I did to be a good pilot, I have stumbled and crashed my way to success by the grace of my own luck.”

The group remained silent.

He looked at them with a critical eye, “Do you want to know what I learned through all of that?”

They remained silent but nodded nervously.

He took a breath, “I learned first and foremost to never stop loving what you do, With the army it is easy to take all the rules and regulations, and hate all the political loopholes you have to jump through. It’s easy to make a routine to grow bored. But boredom leads to burnout, and every day I wake up on MY ship living my childhood dream and determine I have no right to feel that way, so if that means wearing heelis on the command deck, Playing songs older than dirt on the bridge, and making myself look like a fool, than I’ll do it, just as long as I remember to contain it when it most matters.”

He turned away and began gliding down the hall again, “Ever wonder why my ship, despite being the most dangerous, is the most sought after in the fleet… It's because Morale. I make sure to keep my people entertained and happy. Morale has the happy side effect of making people work harder, they try more, and they are more loyal. Everything I do, I do for the crew, and for myself.”

He came to a halt at the bottom of the steps and led them upwards onto the bridge.

The small blue Drev, Sunny, was waiting for them, “Rousing lecture, I almost peed myself a little.”

He snorted and shoved her aside with a shoulder, “You know you love me.”

The drev lifted her head slightly, “Do I?”

“Yes, you do.”

The recruits followed nervously after him glancing towards the Drev female and her bright gold eyes. She snapped her beak at them and they stepped back nervously. She made some sort of humming sound deep in her chest. The the base of her throat they watched as two large holes opened and closed in time with her breathing.

Creepy.

“Begin preflight sequence.” The commander had taken a seat in the captain's chair, and as he was sitting there giving orders and taking command of the ship, you could almost forget that he was wearing an eyepatch and a pair of heelies.

By order form one of the bridge men, they strapped themselves into their seats as the countdown sequence began, “Crew of the harbinger this is your Commander speaking. Please follow all takeoff protocols for we are beginning preflight at this time. Please make sure to strap down all objects that would be lethal flying towards you head, and keep your hands and and feet inside the vehicle for the duration of the ride, thank you for flying with the UNSC.”

He flipped some controls on the chair as the countdown began, and it wasn’t moments before they were being lifted into the sky. Everyone braced themselves against their seats clutching the harnesses as they were thrust upwards into the sky, hands clasped onto harasses, and then they were airborne.

Despite the sudden and violent takeoff, the ride was relatively smooth, and they watched out the windows as earth receded behind them.

It was an amazing sight, more than any of them had ever before imagined, “Charge warp drive!” The commander ordered.”

“Charging warp drive, engage on your command, sir.”

“Diagnostic report on the coolant system?”

“100% operations functional, sir!”

“Engage warp drive in three ...two…. One.”

And then they were gone, off into the vastness of space at the forefront of space exploration.

At the forefront of danger.

***

The forefront of danger was not what they had been expecting, they certainly had not expected the aggressive prank war that occured on April first, a prank war that covered McCaster in Green paint, and resulted in Han having lost all of his left shoes.

They didn’t expect the mess hall to burst into a sing along when the commander began playing outdated rock music, they hadn’t expected to get cleaned out in a game of poker by an alien nearly twice their size, or chased out of the shower by a very grumpy looking spider hybrid.

All through this, the commander appeared and disappeared at random wheeling past or riding on the back of the electric blue Drev, only to prance down the hall out of sight leaving a trail of…. Something dumb, bubbles or confett, behind him.

How he managed to requisition any of the things he got his hands on was a mystery to them.

And though this was the strangest experience they had ever had, he hadn’t been wrong about burnout, boredom, or monotony. They never knew what was coming next, and there was always something interesting going on.

If you walked in on the commander, one moment he was trying to teach the spiderlings how to shake, and the next moment he was on a conference call with the president of the UN brass of the UNSC and the galactic Assembly giving tactical advice with the same mouth that had earlier proclaimed the hypothesis that , why don’t we just do all our laundry in space seeing as the inhospitable vacuum would kill all the bacteria, not entirely sure if he was joking or not.

During meal times he spent a good portion of it rotating around the tables and eating with a new group every day. Generally his big blue friend, Sunny came with him, and more often than not, the doctor as well. Seemed odd how close he was with them, but no one would give a straight answer when questions came up about the nature of the relationship.

It was on just such a day when the commander made his way over to their table and took a seat followed by the blue Drev who was carrying a large salad in a mixing bowl.

The drev could really put down food, but that made sense.

“Morning gentlemen.”

“Morning, sir.”

He tilted his head, “Don’t look so thrilled, you might have an accident with all that enthusiasm.”

Alvarez clutched his mug, “Sorry not a morning person.” He muttered

“And you commander.”

“Any time is a good time to be alive.”

“And there is the optimist.” Han muttered with a sigh rubbing groggily at his eyes before pausing “What are you wearing?”

The commander grinned leaning back to show off his shirt, “Star Wars T, its vintage, do you like?.... Don’t give me that look, it’s casual friday.”

They just shook their heads in slight amusement as he leaned an elbow on the table, “I was meaning to ask you guys something.”

They nodded, and he was about to open his mouth to speak when, alarms started going off all around the ship.

Suddenly, the geek was gone and the commander stood in his place demeanor no more marred by his clothing than a speck of dust in a beam of sunlight.

“EVERYONE TO YOUR STATIONS, NOW!”

“What’s going on!”

He tilted his head to the side listening, probably to a report over his implants.

“The GA is under attack. “

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mj1343 · 4 years

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I dont know who to tell this to i almost sent part of this as an ask to a minecraft blog but held off because i didnt want to bug them but u h THE DOMINANT SPECIES OF MINECRAFT THERE ARE 4 OF THEM

NUMBER ONE IS YOU THE PLAYER OBVIOUSLY

The player is the newest to the minecraft world and yet at the same time the oldest. In terms of the world you create when you click “create world” you are the newest. Youre dropped in an unforgiving world which has already been inhabited by smart creatures and is filled with undead versions of them, and fellow players like yourself. (Zombies/Skeletons, Zombie Villagers, and Zombified Piglin). But the player is also the oldest. Theyve been there since the beginning. They control how the world is created. They chose when in the worlds evolution (updates lol) they exist in. They chose to add things to the worlds. (datapacks n mods) They are the newest to the WORLD they exist in, but they are the oldest in terms of the game they play.

NUMBER 2 OH BOY ITS VILLAGERS AND PILLAGERS BABEY

Theyre the second newest. Theyve been around a long time, theyve already got towns built long before the player arrives. As time passes they got smarter, got better jobs, built better houses. Some broke off to travel the world peddling (overpriced) wares. Some left for more malicious reasons and built giant mansions and towers to patrol from. They speak a different but similar language to the player, and theyve learned a bit from spending so much time with them. The player is.. wierd, destroying and stealing but also creating and saving them. They trust them. They trade with them. Whatever the case, the villagers have been there before the players but not before..

NUMBER 3 PIGLINS YEEHAW

But wait mj the piglins were just added like 2 weeks ago how are they the 3rd newst/2nd oldest ILL TELL YOU HOW my headcanons involve me reading the wiki for. forever. just going through as much as i can. Before villagers and emeralds there were pigmen and rubies. They had the same functions as villagers and were kind of just a stand in. But oh ho ho i like to think they were canon!! Long before the player, when the villagers were just starting to build camps, these guys controlled the world and they were greedy. They mined all the rubies up, they loved treasure and shiny things, and they left their mark on the world. Sure, some of the sunken ships and ruined temples are from villagers or older creatures. But a lot of those came from the pigmens reign. But at some point their greed caught up to them and they got banished into the nether. The ones who left hiding would be zombified quickly from the unforgiving conditions. But, as weve seen, the nether and overworld have started to mix. Things have started to come alive in hell. And so the piglins make their return. They do not trust you. The villagers were only getting started when they left the overworld, who is this guy who thinks hes incharge? But their greed has not gone away. When you barter with a piglin, you are not doing it out of trust. You are doing it because you have gold they want and they know you can get more for them. Once the gold runs out, you dont need to stick around. These were the guys who built the nether fortresses, but i dont think they built the bastion remnants, only took control of them. Those were built buy..

NUMBER 4 ??? HERE WE GO

Number 4 is. the hardest to describe. The two voices in the end poems? The ancient debris and bastion remnants, giant destroyed structures? the massive fossils of creatures passed? Those are all remnants of the first powerful species in this world. They could be gods, or they could just be really good at what they did. Im not sure which old structures the pigmen built and what Number 4′s built, but i have a good feeling they made the strongholds because theyve been able to rip apart the void itself to return to the end. Maybe they were the ones who banished the pigmen to the nether, maybe they were gone before the pigmen came around. They definitely had control over all three dimensions. But theyve long since died out except for the two you hear talking about you. To be honest the game doesnt give much to help us figure out who these guys are, but anything ancient is probably from their era.

BONUS BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF THIS WHILE WRITING THIS POST: END PEOPLE

The endermen are smart. They have their own language, very possibly as many people on tumblr have talked about, telepathically spoken through their eyes. Which is why when you look at them both you and them get a big screech of confusing sounds and they get angry. Theyre confused and frightened. However, i dont think the end cities came around from shulkers and endermen as we see them now. Those are old old old. Access only opened up to them recently, until now theyve been lost in the void. My idea is that the endermen and Number 4 are related, maybe the endermen are descendants of the once powerful species or maybe they lived along side them. Either way, the fact the end poem happens when you defeat the Dragon and ‘free the end’ according to the achievement means they did not like being under her control. Maybe she killed off all but the two ancients you hear in the poem and the endermen are under her thrall. Maybe the endermen have gotten warped into the creatures we see today by her. Where did she come from? I assume an egg like the one we win from defeating her, but where did that come from? Did the ancients have dragon eggs? Was she an experiment gone wrong? A force from the void the ancients had long since mastered and built their cities in, trying to regain control of the void? And if were talking about pigmen and rubies, we cant not mention the fact endermen used to have green eyes and pearls are green. Maybe the green eyes were from the era before the dragons influence corrupted the endermen and destroyed the ancient species.

THANKS FOR READING IF YOU READ THIS HUGE DUMP OF HEADCANONS I HAD TO GET IT OUT SOMEWHERE I LOVE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AND FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOUR OWN HEADCANONS!!!!

#minecraft #minecraft lore #minecraft headcanon #mineblr #minblr #save #long post #ramblings

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shhhhyoursister · 5 years

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“you didn’t have to get me anything”

so since this doesnt specify davenzi...... how about a teensy bit of davenzi but mostly the matteo/amira friendship weve all been craving????

When Matteo dials Amira’s number and holds his phone up to his ear, he’s already anticipating the teasing he’s about to endure. He’s preemptively annoyed, but also knows that he has very few options at this point and that Amira would almost definitely be helpful in this specific situation.

“Matteo? What’s up?”

“Uh,” he starts and then pauses, blushing and rubbing at the back of his neck, “I, uh. Need your help with something. Today, if you’re free?”

“Well,” Amira sighs, “I was planning on watching a movie with Omar, but maybe if you tell me what you need my help with, I’ll consider cancelling.”

He considers his words for a moment before deciding to just say it, and blurts out, “David is taking me to a nice restaurant and I don’t know what to wear. Can you come, like, look through my closet? And help me?”

He hears Amira hum on the other end and can hear the smugness in the noise, and he gets ready to beg before Amira says, “Okay, that’s... actually really sweet, Matteo. When are you guys going?”

“Um,” this is the question that Matteo really didn’t want her to ask, “tonight? In like, four hours?”

“Oh, so you waited until the day of to start looking for an outfit, and realized that most of your wardrobe consists of tee shirts, sweaters, huge jackets, and baggy jeans?”

He rolls his eyes but figures arguing won’t help his case so he resigns, and says, “Yes, exactly. Please, Coach, I don’t... I don’t want to embarrass myself. I’m already going to ‘cause I don’t know how the fuck to eat in a fancy restaurant, but I at least want to look nice.”

Amira laughs before actually aw-ing at him, and she says in a much kinder voice, “Of course, Vollidiot. I’ll be there in 20, okay? I’ll look through and see if we can salvage anything from your closet.”

*****

When Amira gets there she has an expression on her face that’s somewhere between smugness and fondness, and they do their usual handshake before he leads her into his room so she can start looking through his stuff.

“Matteo, even if it isn’t today, can I take you to buy some jeans that actually fit you?”

“Ugh, fine. Can you help me with this now though, please?”

“I’m, trying, habibi, but I don’t have much to work with. Oh, actually, how about this shirt?”

Matteo looks over and blushes before collapsing back onto his bed, mumbling into the pillow, “That’s David’s.”

“What? I can’t hear you with your mouth covered, Matteo.”

“I said that shirt is David’s. I can’t wear his shirt out to dinner with him.”

He misses the soft smile that Amira aims in his direction as she carefully hangs the shirt back up. He hears her rustle around in his closet more before she holds up another shirt with a raised eyebrow.

“That one... is also David’s.”

“Okay, I’m sensing a theme here.”

“A theme?”

“Yeah, all the nice stuff in here is actually David’s.”

“Well, yeah, he dresses better than me. We all know this.”

“I know, it just makes my job a little harder. We might....” she trails off, and Matteo pops up from the bed.

“We might what?”

“I think we have to go shopping.”

“No.”

“Okay, your choice. I’m just telling you that I don’t think I can make anything nice out of...this.”

“Maybe I should call Jonas and ask him for help instead.”

“And why do you think that would be a better idea than going shopping?”

“Because he won’t be mean to me.”

“First of all, that’s not true. Second of all, you asked for my help. If you want it, we need to at least get you a nice shirt.”

“What about what I wore to the AbiBall? That was a nice shirt!”

“You mean the AbiBall you went to with David? No, that won’t do. Come on, Matteo, we can go to one store. I’m sure we’ll find something that looks good that you won’t hate.”

Matteo grumbles but gets up and starts putting his shoes on, and Amira smiles as they walk out of the flat and start making their way to the closest clothing store.

“So, where is he taking you?”

“I don’t really know, he said he wants it to be a surprise. Just that it’s nice, and I need to wear more than jeans and a tee shirt.”

“That’s really sweet, Matteo. But, wait. What did you wear on your other dates?”

He blushes again and says quietly, “This is actually the first real date we’re going on.”

“That’s so cute.”

“Shut up.”

“Actually, no. I’m helping you so you need to listen to me talk about how happy I am for you. For you both, really.”

Matteo rolls his eyes but bumps his shoulder into Amira’s, offering her a small smile, and she smiles and bumps him back.

“And what about you and Mohammed? You guys are cute, too.”

“Shut up.”

“Hey! Why can you call my relationship cute, but I can’t call yours cute?”

“Because I’m not the one who begged for help picking out an outfit.”

“Okay, I didn’t beg.”

“You would’ve if I had said no.”

“But that didn’t happen, so.”

“Yeah, because I’m an amazing friend.”

As they reach the store, Matteo quietly says, “Yeah, can’t argue with that.”

*****

“Matteo, I have picked out five perfectly nice shirts, and at this point I think you’re just trying to be annoying.”

“I’m not!”

“I didn’t realize you were so picky, then.”

“Well, I don’t like the color of that one, David has that shirt, that one is itchy, that one the sleeves are too short, and that one...I just hate.”

“Oh my god, okay,” she pinches the bridge of her nose between her fingers as Matteo stands in front of her and pouts, “this is going to be harder than I thought.”

“I’m... gonna cancel. That’s the only way, right? David will understand.”

“He might understand, but he’ll be sad about it.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, so we’re going to keep looking, right?”

“Fuck. Fine, yeah.”

He watches Amira search through the racks, shaking her head at the lack of options. She lifts her head and starts looking around the store, her eyes squinted in concentration. She suddenly smiles and grabs Matteo’s hand, yanking him over to a rack they hadn’t noticed, and she looks through the shirts until she finds Matteo’s size.

“What about this one?”

He stares at the shirt she’s holding up for a moment, tilting his head. He reaches out and rubs the fabric between his fingers, humming at how soft and light the material is. He finally nods, and Amira smiles and shoves him in the direction of the fitting room.

When he steps out a moment later, Amira aws again, and clasps her hands together and brings them up to her chest.

“Matteo, that’s it!”

“Yeah, I like it. It’s comfortable, and it’s a good color. Do you think- uh, never mind.”

“Do I think what?”

Matteo blushes and runs his hand through his hair, “Do you think David will like it?”

She steps forward and puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles softly before saying, “Matteo, he’s a fool if he doesn’t.”

Matteo scoffs, “He’s a fool no matter what.”

“Yeah, but he’ll be even more of a fool if he doesn’t shower you in praise the second he sees you.”

Matteo grins at her, and she links their arms for a moment before yanking hers back and saying, “Oh, um, I need to get something for Essam while we’re here, actually. Why don’t you go pay and I’ll meet you by the front?”

They separate, Matteo tapping his foot on the line until it’s his turn and he pays, thanking the cashier with a smile. He waits a few minutes before Amira comes over, holding a bag of her own.

*****

When they get back to Matteo’s flat, he has about an hour before David is meant to be getting there. Amira sits on his couch as he starts grabbing shoes and socks and everything else he’s going to need, but she gets up and stops him once he grabs a pair of pants from his drawer.

“So, I might’ve lied earlier.”

Matteo panics for a moment, asking frantically, “Wait, the shirt isn’t nice? Amira, why the fuck--”

“No, of course not, idiot. The shirt is perfect. But I wasn’t buying stuff for Essam, I might’ve...gotten you a little something. Or two little somethings.”

Matteo blushes at her but smiles as she hands him the bag, saying quietly, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“This is kind of something that I had to get you.”

Matteo opens the bag and starts laughing when he sees two pairs of pants. He takes them out and unfolds them, one a nicer black pair, and one a regular pair of blue jeans.

“How did you know my size? Like my actual size?”

“Well, I looked at the sizes you already had and just... subtracted a few inches. Also, I’ve shopped for Essam before, I have a pretty good grasp on men’s pants sizes. Wear the black ones tonight.”

He grabs the black pair that she points at, and clutches them to his chest, before looking up at her and saying sincerely, “Thanks, Coach. I’ll send you the money for them.”

“Don’t bother, they were on a really good sale. Consider them a gift.”

They smile at each other before Matteo’s phone buzzes and he checks it, his eyes widening.

“Fuck, David is gonna be here in like 20 minutes.”

“Okay okay, just change. I’ll wait out there, but come show me when you’re dressed.”

Matteo changes slowly, smoothing his hands over the new clothes a few times before he feels confident enough to walk outside. Once he does and Amira sees him, she smiles and her eyes light up.

“Oh, Matteo, you look great!”

He stands there awkwardly as she fawns over him. The black pants are a little tighter than he usually wears, but they do actually fit him, which apparently makes a huge difference. The light blue of the short sleeved button up shirt Amira picked out makes his eyes look even brighter, and it fits him without being too tight.

“We just need to fix your hair and you’ll be good to go!”

“My hair?”

“Yes, Matteo. Your hair.”

She drags him into the bathroom and wets her hands a little, messing with his hair until she’s satisfied, and Matteo looks in the mirror and has to agree that it looks a lot better. They walk back out into the living room and Matteo checks his phone once more, and he squeaks when he sees the time and the text from David.

“Fuck, he’s here!”

Just then the door buzzes and Amira rushes over to let David in. She runs back and pulls Matteo into a hug, and he smiles and returns it, and when they let go she leans up and kisses him on the cheek.

“I hope you have a great time, habibi. Text me about it later please.”

“Oh my god I’m not going to do that.”

“Yeah you will.”

Before Matteo can retort, there’s a knock on the door, and Amira grins before rushing to get it. When she opens it, David is standing there wearing a dark gray button up shirt, black pants, and he has a backpack slung over his shoulder.

“Oh, Amira? Hi, um. What are you doing here?” He asks in a confused but polite voice, and Matteo can hear Amira laugh as she says, “Don’t worry about it. Have fun, boys!”

As the door closes Matteo starts worrying a little, smoothing his hand over the shirt again as he hears David’s footsteps echo through the flat.

“Matteo?”

“Yeah, I’m in here.”

“Why was Amira here? You didn’t forget our date, did you-- oh. Oh wow.”

Matteo blushes when David rounds the corner and spots him, and almost doesn’t process how good David looks over how nervous he is.

“Uh, hey.”

“Matteo... oh my god, you look so good. When did you get that shirt? And pants that actually fit? Wow, you’re really going all out for me.”

Matteo ignore the slight teasing, instead deciding to walk closer so he can wrap his arms around David’s neck, and David’s hands come to rest on his waist. Touching David makes him a little less nervous, especially when David leans in to kiss him on the cheek.

“Seriously, babe, you look amazing. I really wasn’t expecting this.”

“You didn’t expect me to look amazing?”

David pinches his side a little and says, “No, that’s not what I mean. I always think you look amazing. I just wasn’t expecting you to get a whole new outfit for this.”

“Well, I may have had some help. But you look great, too. Wow. Are you ready to go?”

David grins before leaning in to press their lips together softly. They kiss until they’re both smiling too much, and kiss for a few seconds after that, until David makes a noise into his mouth and pulls away, an accusatory grin on his face.

“Help? So that’s why Amira was here!”

#druck fic #druck fanfic #matteo florenzi #amira thalia mahmood #david schreibner #davenzi #i LOVE her #i love this friendship #thots and feelings

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years

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my baby’s a public menace {Ben Hardy/Reader/Roger Taylor}

Four Iconic Moments The Press Had A Fucking Field Day With

A/N: 2670 words. So this time we’ve got Modern Times with 70s!Roger pulled forwards in time. Don’t think too hard about how it works it just does.

1. It Becomes Official

The moment they call Ben’s name at the BAFTAs, to receive the award for Lead Actor in a Television Series, you feel like the whole world is coming to a stand still, and Ben’s rising, disbelief written all over his face.

“That’s me.” He says, quietly, as the applause has already begun, and then Roger’s on his feet, beaming, and he wraps his arms around Ben, pashing him directly in front of the camera that was catching every moment, and Ben kisses him back easily, before turning to you, eyes bright, and he pulls you to your feet, giving you a kiss as well.

“Congratulations, babe.” You murmur, and he’s so fucking ecstatic when he pulls back, and heads into the aisle, heading towards the stage. You slide into his seat with ease, lacing your fingers with Roger’s where he’s bouncing with energy and beaming with pride.

“He fuckin’ won.” Roger laughs with a little disbelief, and you turn to each other, both absolutely radiating with pride and adoration.

“Our boy did it.” You giggle, and Roger’s gaze dips to your lips for a moment before he looks back up, a new spark in his eyes that you knew all too well.

“I can’t wait ‘til we all get home.” He dropped his voice low, and you could feel yourself growing a little flustered at the suggestion.

“Keep it in your pants, dear,” you nudged him, and he barked out a laugh, giving you a wink before he turned to where Ben was finally walking across the stage. You, however, felt your heart stop in your chest, “he kissed us on camera.”

“Well, I kissed him,” Roger mused, his thumb rubbing against the side of your hand, “couldn’t help myself.” He admitted, still beaming as Ben was handed his award, expression bright and a little disbelieving as he leaned into the microphone.

“I think I just won a BAFTA and outed myself in the same minute, so that’s going to be hard to beat next year.” Is the opening line of his speech, and the audience titters with polite laughter, while you and Roger are hiding your snorts. “I actually had to email the organisational committee to ask them to let me bring more than one plus one, I’m glad to see that it wasn’t in vain.” He laughs; he goes on to thank the crew of the show he worked on, the other cast members, his family, and he looks for you and Roger in the audience, pointing the award at you. “And for Rog and Y/N, of course; the weirdest and best thing to happen to me in a long time.”

“Do you think he knows how much we wanna suck his dick?” You lean over to Roger, whispering under your breath, amused smile on your lips at you look up at your boyfriend grinning on stage.

“Of course he does, look at that smile.” Roger responds with a low chuckle as Ben leaves stage, heading back towards you. When he gets back to his seat, you move back to your own seat, resting your head on his shoulder when he sits down.

“We’re so proud of you, baby.” You tell him softly as they’re beginning the next segment on stage, and Ben reaches out with his free hand to rest it on your thigh, giving you a squeeze.

“I know, love.”

2. Roger Throws Half A Chicken At A Paparazzi

“Do you think we should go inside?” You ask, voice low as you catch sight of a man in a baseball cap and dark glasses covertly trying to take photos of you three. It was a nice evening, you, Roger, and Ben had been enjoying a meal outside at an upscale restaurant, the three of you draped on a two person outdoor lounge, your entrees having just been cleared up. Both you and Ben are on your phones, and Roger’s between the two of you, nose buried in the paper.

“Why?” Ben asks, not looking up from his phone, and you shift a little uncomfortably, giving the man trying to look like he’s not taking photos.

“Hey, dude, can you just leave us alone? We just wanna get dinner.” You call to the man, and he stands, a little flustered.

“So it’s true, you’re really dating both of them?” He calls back, stashing his phone in his pocket, pulling out a little recording device; the asshole came prepared.

“No, we’re just really good friends who make out at the BAFTAs.” Roger rolls his eyes, folding up the paper, and throwing the paper onto the table in front of him.

“No need to get snarky, mate, I just think it’s weird that somebody like her would get on so well with-” He’s cut off just as a kind and beleagured waitress puts down what looks like half a roast chicken surrounded by salad onto the table.

“Fuck off, alright?” Ben snaps at the man, clearly irritated, sitting up straighter, giving the waitress an apologetic smile as she leaves in a hurry.

“The hell do you mean ‘someone like her’?!” Roger growls, and you actually have to put a hand on his chest where he’s leaning forward, as if getting ready to throw himself at the reporter.

“I- do you wanna address the rumours then, Y/N about-” The man starts, but Roger cuts him off with a snarl.

“If this bastard brings up those fuckin’ gold digger accusations, I’m gonna start throwing things.” He warns, and not a moment later, the man brings up the very words Roger had told him not to. You’re just heaving a heavy sigh, used to being hounded by the gossip magazines, though you try not to pay them any mind.

“I could shout how much I love you from the rooftops and these assholes would still think this is some sort of weird, sugar daddy situation.” Ben turns to you, his voice low as he gives you a long suffering smile. You lean in across the empty space that Roger had just vacated to give him a kiss, before turning to where Roger was wielding his roast chicken like a grenade, lobbing it at the reporter, yelling about how he’s ‘sick and tired of hearing people talk shit about his girlfriend; she’s got more kindness and talent in one tit than the paparazzi has in his whole body’.

“We should probably get him before he does any real damage.” Ben muses, to which you agree. The two of you move to collect your rogue boyfriend as he continues to yell and squirm.

“Baby, baby please calm down; you’ve made a scene, you’ve thrown a chicken, you’ve mentioned my tits, we can have dinner at home.” You try to placate him, your arm tucked in his as Ben’s got an arm around his shoulders, the two of you guiding him from the restaurant.

“Just makes me so bloody mad.” Roger growls his hands on your hips where you’ve got your arms around his waist as Ben pays for your half finished meals. “It’s twenty eighteen, you’d think dickheads would learn to grow up.” He huffed.

“I know, baby.” You muse, bringing him in for a kiss to distract him, hoping to let his anger simmer down a little as you two stand in the parking lot.

“I just love you is all, people like that make me so pissed-” He whispers, more to himself than anything, but then you’re kissing him again, humming affirmations, your hands in his hair.

“I love you too, I love you too.” You murmur against his lips.

Later that night you’ll see Ben’s instagram story from just before he joins the two of you again. You and Roger, arms around each other, lit by a single streetlight, you’re leaning in to him, lips inches from his, and he’s smiling gently back at you; the whole image is surprisingly intimate, especially for Roger. It’s captioned ‘I’m allowed to take candids ‘cos they love me’.

3. Someone Gives Ben Tequila

Ben’s not usually the type to get drunk and reckless. Or well, he’s the type to get drunk on occasion, but not reckless, not like Roger, who can be incredibly reckless even while sober, nor like you, since you could go either way. Ben was meant to be the grounded one. Except sometimes he has tequila. It’s an afterparty for a movie he’d gotten a supporting role in, it’d been fun, but he was looking forward to being able to spend time with you and Roger again. Speaking of the two of you, you’d disappeared almost half an hour ago, Roger had gone to the bathroom and you’d gone to get more drinks.

When he finds you, you’re trapped in an uncomfortable conversation with one of the editors assistants’, a weedy kid who couldn’t seem to figure out that you didn’t want to talk to him.

“Hi, baby!” You call out to Ben the moment you think he’ll be able to hear you over the music, and he makes a beeline for you, his heart singing when he sees your face light up.

“Hello, love, I was wondering where you’d gotten to.” He says, barely acknowledging the guy you’d been talking to, who’s own expression fell as Ben pressed a kiss to your lips. The two of you head off in search of Roger, who you find by the bathroom, talking with someone who’s clearly quite enamoured with him. From his easy stance and casual smile, you could tell he was at least enjoying the woman’s company. Neither you nor Ben were usually the jealous type, but after a few drinks, you couldn’t be blamed for just wanting to stake your claim.

“Hey, babe, who’s this?” Ben asks, slipping an arm around Roger’s shoulders as you stepped around to loop your arm through his on his other side. Roger, with a sly, knowing smile, looks between the two of you, before smiling brightly at the woman who’d been talking to him.

“Like I was saying, this is my boyfriend and girlfriend; you’ll have to excuse them, they get jealous easily.” He smirked, and the woman looked a little shocked, a little flustered, as she stuttered her way through an apology. “It’s no worry, I’m sure they can entertain themselves for a while,” and with that, he winked at you. Taking the hint, you moved, taking Ben’s hand and leading him away.

“He’s just being a social butterfly, you know how he is.” You mused gently, the two of you flopping onto a sofa. Ben hums thoughtfully, sitting beside you, your hand in his. He presses a kiss to your shoulder, trailing kisses up your neck to your jaw.

“‘m not jealous.” He said, lips at the corner of yours, pressing another kiss there before he brings his hand up to cup your cheek, moving so you’re smiling over your shoulder at him, “it’s just nice to say you guys are mine.” And his voice is low, almost a growl, and you feel a shiver run down your spine.

“I like the sound of that.” You tell him, kissing him hard, letting his hands wander and pull you close to him.

“Mine?” He asks, and his hand is on your thigh, moving your legs so you’re sitting over him rather than next to him.

“Yours.” You agree, kissing him again, messy and passionate, you can taste the alcohol on his lips and his tongue but you don’t care when he’s leaning you back to lie on the sofa. “And Roger’s.” You add quietly, and there’s a gleam in Ben’s eyes where he’s looking down at you, his arm around you, one hand on your waist.

“You’re ours, love, there’s no doubt about it.” He assures, and he leans in to kiss you again.

“I can’t take you two anywhere!” Roger’s grinning when he finds the two of you, and Ben presses his laughter into your collar as you look up at Roger and make an insistent, grabby hand for him. “If you insist.” He chuckles, sinking to his knees to join you at your level, kissing you where you’re splayed out on the sofa, with Ben all but on top of you. “You know there’s a perfectly good bathroom not too far from here.”

Not ten minutes later, one of the other cast members sends to the cast group chat, in all capitals ‘BEN’S BANGING IN THE BATHROOM’ which was met with either ‘at least they’ve freed up the sofa’ or ‘lmao called it’. You’re not surprised, nor are you ashamed, when some gossip rag has your face on it (or more accurately, Ben’s face) the next morning, and a riveting account of what happened with no actual details, and a photo someone took on their phone of you and Ben on the sofa. It wasn’t the first time, it probably wouldn’t be the last.

4. Roger Gets Instagram

Roger takes surprisingly well to instagram, which is both hilarious and terrifying. He posts a lot of selfies; he takes to being an instagram fuckboi like a duck takes to water. At first it’s mostly blurry shots, of sunlight, sometimes it’s you and Ben out of focus, laughing, or he gets one of you two to take a photo of him, shirtless.

When he gets a waterproof phone, the first thing he does is take a photo of you and he kissing underwater at the beach, and then three separate, all individually hilarious videos of Ben trying and failing to do a majestic hair flip coming out of the water; in the last one, both boys get hit by a huge wave, and the video ends with you laughing, fishing the phone out of the surf.

The three of you go on holidays to somewhere sunny, and at the end of the week, he posts the highlights; you lying on your stomach beneath a palm tree on the beach, topless; a selfie of the three of you smiling at the camera against a backdrop of a starlit sky, golden in the light of a bonfire; Ben in a coconut bra, a little blurry with the movement of laughter, grinning at you just out of shot; you, in bed, making a truly terrible face where he’s just woken you up and the sun’s in your eyes. His favourite, however, is the one from him at the end of the holiday, shirtless and tanned, shot from the waist up, biting his lip as he’s turned to look off to the left, showing off how he’s covered in hickies.

The shots that get the most media attention are his more risque ones, like the shot on his story that you’d taken where you could see the bottom half of his face all the way down to his hips, with a sheet covering his modesty, but a lipstick kiss mark along his V-line and his tongue out. (There’s a followup photo on your instagram story, of your lipstick smeared, grin wide, and your hair messy, with the caption, ‘sometimes you just gotta be a messy bitch’, and people put two and two together, and conservatives lost it.)

The most infamous actual post of his is the shot of you and Ben together in bed, he’s leaning against the headboard, still mostly laying down, and you’re draped over him, chin resting on his chest where the two of you are grinning about something. The sheet covers most of your ass, and comes up to Ben’s hips, and you’re giving the camera some pretty glorious side boob, and the photo’s framed to show room for one more person beside you in the bed, a sliver of sunlight shining through the curtains, across Ben’s chest and your back, and it’s just captioned ‘what a sight’. He’d asked you both before posting it, and you’d both agreed; it didn’t violate any guidelines, but social media still had a field day with the sweet, clearly post-coital photo.

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x reader x roger taylor #ben x reader x roger #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #borhap imagine #borhap cast #borhap cast imagine #queen #queen imagines #queen imagine #the angry lizard writes

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yaizl · 5 years

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(EDITED)

i dont know if this was ever known on tumblr, but--

i had a friend on here and discord whos name was jamie

we were like. legit really good fuckin friends

i mean seriously, he was one of my best friends on there, and i was so happy to have known him

(vent below cut)

but then he got banned from my friends private server im in while i was away from discord for a week, which was back in march or something

i questioned what had happened and apparently he was just being an overall brat, having saying shit like they were belittling him or treating him like shit

but in reality, they were actually trying to make him feel as welcome as they possibly could, and it showed!!

though, i didnt think much of it because i didnt experience what happened when it did happen

so after a while i messaged him and i got in his private server

after about a month, i had gotten a boyfriend (weve known eachother irl sense 2017 and were still friends to this day) and i asked him if he wanted to join jamies server

he said yes, considering how he wanted to make new friends

so he joined the server and we all had a gay ol time

a month goes by and its now may, and my boyfriend and i go through some.... difficulties. though, i wasnt aware of anything bad happening.

he added me to a group that had him, jamie, and jamies s.o.

i didnt know what was happening, so i asked what the group chat was, and jamie replied with... something i forgot what he said ghjfhjfg--

my boyfriend was typing for a few minutes before i was met with this wall of a message.

it was a breakup message.

and i, and the actions i made in the relationship, were the reason he typed it.

i had guilt tripped, gaslighted, and just overall made him feel bad when it came to the relationship for almost the whole time it lasted.

now, although i did pity myself a little when i read it, i came to accept that what i did was wrong and i needed to change, and replied saying i accepted his decision to break up, along with somewhat defending some stuff i did as it was, in fact, unintentional.

now, he didnt reply to me when i typed back, but when we talked this over a few months later, he said he was glad i accepted his decision and thought it would be the end of it when i said it.

but, jamie and his s.o. were in the group chat as well, and they didnt like my reply. they really didnt like it.

they started to shit talk me, telling me i needed to grow up, telling me i was only making excuses in my defense claims, all that. basically they were saying that i was bullshitting even know i accepted my boyfriends decision.

eventually i just asked if we could end the conversation as arguing wouldnt resolve the fact i fucked up. it was already drilled in my head and i didnt need to go on and on just arguing with someone with no end like a little kid.

this dude deadass says “you know what? fine. fine.” and kicks me out of the group, and removes me from any server he was in.

i havent talked to him in months.

my ex, who, as i stated, is still a good friend of mine, consulted me about a month ago that jamie went fucking bonkers.

jamie made a new server, and my friend didnt want to join, so jamie threw a fucking bitchfit and kicked him out of any server jamie was in. i mean, really? youre gonna get pissed at a friend because they dont wanna join your rp server? bitch?????

now, i didnt exactly see what happened sense my friend didnt send any screenshots and only explained a little of the basics, but still.

now, wth the story over, you wanna know something funny? something to tickle your funny bone? a real knee-slapper?

i’m still fucked up over what happened.

i sometimes really miss jamie.

i sometimes want to be friends with him again.

i know hes like. really bad. and immature. and considering how he hasnt messaged any of the people he fucked over with an apology, i can tell he hasnt decided to grow up yet.

he told me to grow up despite the fact he acted like a toddler himself.

he told me what i was doing wrong without telling me how to fix it.

but i fucking miss him.

i want him back.

edit: just to clarify, the reason of why jamie and his s/o were in the group chat, rather than letting my ex and i get the breakup over with on our own, is because my ex thought i would hurt myself over the breakup.

i told him that even know i got extremely emotional, i would never, ever hurt myself over a breakup, especially sense we were still going to be friends afterwards.

in fact, jamie would have increased the chances of me hurting myself (if i were that kind of person), with how he talked down to me in a very vulgar fashion even though i was okay with my ex making that decision.

i hate him for that.

i miss him, but i loathe him too.

#len squeaks #len cries #vent #fhdgjhf im just...... really fucked up rn #cause i saw his s/os blog on my friends blog #his s/o is like. just as bad as he is #at least from what i remember #but #hhhhhhhh

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i-am-the-entertainer · 6 years

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RevieWBY: Volume 6

This has been stated so many times, but Volume 5 was bad. Okay, it wasn’t terrible, like I don’t feel offended by it being bad (unlike certain folks), but looking back on it I don’t have anything to say to really defend it as something Rooster Teeth should have talked up as much as they did at the time. It had some good things going for it, but the amount of problems it had in terms of animation and writing really put a sour taste in everyone’s mouth. So for Volume 6 to deal with all that fallout, it was going to have to do a lot. And to their credit, CRWBY accepted the criticism in stride, and actively worked to make Volume 6 something that people who despised Volume 5 might enjoy.

Still, one had to go into this season with the understanding that some people were never going to be completely satisfied with whatever CRWBY did. Because at the end of the day, the RWBY that Rooster Teeth currently makes is not Monty Oum’s show anymore. No, this isn’t saying CRWBY is in any way disrespecting his legacy, it’s just Monty Oum had a certain method to running the show that only he could really get away with: epic fight scenes, suddenly throwing giant curveballs into the series’ mythology, taking vital time away from storytelling so the fights looked cool. I mean, there are people who criticize the show for doing that now when they didn’t give two shits when Monty did it, because Monty did it in a manner that somehow worked. I don’t know how he did it, but he did, and, well, he’s not here to do it, and there’s no way even a huge animation team can collectively do things like him. And they shouldn’t: if they can use a better industry standard animation engine than Poser, than the fact that Monty Oum didn’t like animating with Maya shouldn’t stop them.

Blah blah blah...this is all about FNDM reception. What did I think of Volume 6?

Well...

Focus

In my mid-volume review I cited this as Volume 6′s strongest aspect, and as far as I can tell this remains the case. By focusing our hero storyline on one group and for the most part the villain storylines on only a few characters who were paired off, Volume 6 effectively told a story that didn’t force the viewers to juggle multiple things and find some semblance of a continuing story. Everything happened linearly and the whole thing made for a more enjoyable watch overall.

Tone

Building off of that renewed focus, this volume felt like it had more of a consistent tone that lasted from beginning to end. RWBY markets itself as an anime show and uses a lot of that anime-style of humor (slapstick and comedically exaggerated emotions), but honestly it’s always played fast and loose with using that humor in a way that doesn’t feel out of place. In this volume it was more consistently used, and that’s largely thanks to the nailed down focus that allowed character interactions to utilize the humor in a natural way. Ruby and Maria Calavera were especially good sources for humor.

Now, things did get a little more screwball when Cordovin came into the mix, but it was interesting seeing CRWBY take that humor to a logical extreme for the first time in a while (not since the Beacon years). It interrupted the tone for a bit, but not in a manner that overall changed the genre this show is going for.

Animation

Beautiful. The improved production pipeline that we’ve heard about really came through. These episodes were the best they’ve ever looked, minus a few errors here and there, showing just how amazing RWBY can look when you give the animators time to add their own touches. There was some really great fight animation to boot: none of the fights this volume felt awkward, and you could tell the animators had a lot of fun.

Worldbuilding/Storytelling

It feels weird saying that Volume 6 did a better job with worldbuilding than Volume 4, which took place on four different continents and traveled across one, and Volume 5, which took place on two different continents and featured the second major skirmish between the villains and the heroes. I think this has to do with just how well it was integrated into the story: insight into the world came at points where the story needed it and when the viewers wanted it. Nothing ever felt like a massive info dump better suited World of Remnant; where there was just too much information delivered that wasn’t relevant to what was happening in the show. Volumes 4 and 5 had this same problem with establishing the world, often telling us too much in a way that just didn’t feel natural to the story. With Volume 6, almost every chapter up until the final Argus arc included some form of that insight:

Chapter 1 showed us how ordinary civilians deal with traveling through Grimm territory––the steps they take to protect themselves

Chapter 2 showed us some aspects of the Mistral criminal underground, not telling us too much about it but suggesting it was much larger than what Cinder encountered.

Chapter 3 showed us...so many things.

Chapter 4 offered a sense of the stakes RWBY faced in relation to all of Remnant.

Chapter 5 and 6 gave us a glimpse at another form of non-city life in Remnant.

Chapter 7 introduced us to Argus, my favorite of all the Remnant cities we’ve seen; plus a glimpse into the life of the silver-eyed warriors; and a more representative depiction of what domestic life is like in Remnant

Chapter 8 told us what Atlas personnel who aren’t Ironwood or Winter are like, plus the long-awaited insight into how the silver eyes work.

Chapter 9 shows something of the effect the Battle of Beacon, and by extension Pyrrha’s death, had outside of our core group.

Things kind of teeter off with the finale arc, but that’s because worldbuilding became a little less important to what was going on. This is kind of a stretch, but the mech fight and the arrival of the Grimm in Argus give us an idea of how large non-capital cities defend themselves without just spelling everything out.

All in all, this volume delivered on some impressive worldbuilding, probably the best the series has had in a while. It wasn’t massive info dumps unless it needed to be (e.g. Chapter 3), and it offered just enough for other important things like the storytelling and the action to still be in the forefront.

Characters

Volume 5, despite the fact it involved the major reunion of Team RWBY after two volumes, felt like it was simply putting the main characters through situations without those situations really doing anything to develop them or define them as anything beyond what we already knew. Some characters fared better on the development front, namely Yang, but others, especially Ruby, just seemed to be along for the ride without us getting any insight into them. This is where the writing issue that came from separating everyone starting with Volume 4 really came to a head: too many different characters with their own story to cover, and sometimes those stories just didn’t do much for the character beyond existing as a situation they were in.

Volume 6 feels like the refutal of that, and that mostly has to do with the fact that we’re not juggling so many storylines anymore. When a major event happens to the heroes, everyone gets affected at the same time. The train crashes? DEVELOPMENT! Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT AND INSIGHT! Snowstorm? INSIGHT! The Apathy? DEVELOPMENT! Telling team JNR about Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT! Adam ambushes Blake and Yang for the first time since Volume 3? DEVELOPMENT! WITH A HEALTHY DOSAGE OF ANGST!

Surprisingly, the same thing is happening to two of our favorite villains, Mercury and Emerald: even though they only really appeared in three chapters this Volume, we actually got a surprising chance to see how their defeat at the Battle of Haven affected them, and their increasingly strong misgivings about working for Salem. We get more of an idea of them as people rather than Cinder’s blind followers, understanding why they stuck with such an evil person for so long. It’s the most we’ve learned about them since Volume 3, and we didn’t even need lengthy flashbacks.

Even Adam got some more insight. RWBY has been following the path that Adam was an abusive ex-boyfriend for quite a while now, but there was always this underlying thought that he got into the White Fang business for a seemingly noble cause. The problem was the show hadn’t depicted how he got from Point A to Point B. The Adam Character Short offered us some of that much needed insight, putting some of his actions up to this point in a new context, even if it was set-up for clearing up some things so they could get rid of him.

Of course, there are still exceptions to characters getting character development, and honestly they’re kind of glaring ones. Oscar’s development arc, where he came to accept he was his own person, completely happened offscreen (for reasons that I’ve brought up before and will reiterate in the final section), robbing us of really witnessing his growth as a person. I enjoyed some of the stuff Cinder did this volume, especially her escape from the vault and her fight with Neo. But honestly she continues to be a pretty bland villain with little hints at her motivations for being such a terrible person: the Battle of Haven was such an utter defeat for her there needed to be some form of consequence that would’ve affected her character while also telling us more about her. Maybe it would’ve been her strategizing her revenge, which would’ve gotten more insight into how she thinks as a master planner. Instead, we get her leaving the vault, more or less going back to what she used to do but in a more low-key setting, fighting with Neo, plotting with Neo, and leaving with Neo. It felt more like “Hey, she’s alive, and here’s what she’s doing,” which while I appreciate it feels kind of a waste of time if you’re not doing anything with her beyond that. Honestly, a post-credits reveal that she was alive and then a pre-Volume 7 character short detailing how she made it to Atlas that covered her and Neo’s entire storyline this volume would’ve been more helpful.

Before I go on to my most major critique of this volume, I need to address the two Goliaths in the room.

Adam

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: they needed to get rid of Adam. The way things have been going, there was only so much more you could do with his character before he became a nuisance that was overstaying his welcome. I understand people wanted some deeper insight into him, but the fact was he was never introduced to be a major villain to anyone beyond Blake and later Yang. They could’ve had him have a thing against Weiss, but they didn’t, they focused the time that would’ve made him a major villain for everyone else on making people like Roman and Cinder and Salem the big villains. They decided on the path of abusive ex-boyfriend a very long time ago, and if you hadn’t figured that out after the Adam Character Short I honestly think you were being willfully ignorant to what’s been building up.

The best I can say is that Adam and his history is a missed opportunity for some pretty interesting storytelling and worldbuilding, but the fact remains: it is not his story that they want to tell, it is not his show. It may make something interesting to think about, but Adam’s story is supplementary, and works better in supplementary material, a la character shorts and maybe mangas.

Jaune

Y’all need to quit it with the “Hrrr drr Jaune took up time again moan moan Miles Luna is self indulgent” talk, he barely did anything this volume beyond Chapter 9 and having a sister that the whole fandom loved.

Pacing

This...this is where Volume 6 ran into trouble.

Overall, from the season premiere to the finale arc, this was probably the best-paced season of RWBY we’ve ever had. Major story events happened right when we needed them, and for the most part they didn’t drag out story arcs for any longer than they needed to be.

Well...until they reached Argus, that is.

At face value, a lot happened in the final couple of chapters. Chapter 8 gave us Maria explaining the silver eyes, Chapter 9 had the scene with Pyrrha’s statue and the mysterious Red-Haired Woman (I’ll headcanon whatever I want about who she is, Jen Brown) Chapter 10 started the Cordovin fight, Chapter 11 reinforced Blake and Yang’s partnership, Chapter 12 killed Adam, and Chapter 13 had Ruby finally use her silver eye powers to defeat a Grimm and they made it to Atlas. Yeah, it was a pretty eventful set of episodes.

So then why did it feel like it dragged? Here are a couple reasons that I’ve identified.

1. The Cordovin Battle sidelined story arcs for too long

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: the finale arc should not have been split up like that over so many episodes. It afforded us some pretty well-animated fights, some of the best the series has ever had, but the volume hadn’t been relying on that action to keep up the forward momentum, but on actually telling the stories of these characters. I get the need for CRWBY to prove that they can do well-animated fights, but as I’ve come to accept action should never take precedence over storytelling (I know, that’s hard to swallow when parts of the fndm spends hours complaining about how Monty’s not animating the fights anymore). And it’s clear to me in this final arc put emphasis on the action over the momentum of the story, bringing the actually pretty good storytelling the volume had had up to that point to a grinding halt.

Now, historically RWBY fights have delayed telling stories, but it’s never been for too long, at most maybe two chapters? But if you spend three chapters on a single fight, thereby devoting three weeks of your viewers’ time to high-octane action, people are gonna notice that the story is basically going nowhere.

What could’ve made this less of a problem? Well, perhaps establishing Cordovin earlier and making her less of a buffoon would’ve eased my hatred of this arc. Volume 6 lacks a clear antagonist for the story, but the way Cordovin was treated as a big deal in this final battle made it seem like she was taking up that role, except we didn’t even see her until the final half of the volume, and in her debut we couldn’t take her seriously as a villain, much less an antagonist, because of the pure comedy they used in her intro. There needed to be something about her at least a few episodes early––take this with a grain of salt because I think following JNR in Argus would’ve killed the balanced pacing of the first half of the volume (and just made the Jaune haters apoplectic), but maybe a few quick scenes of JNR arriving in Argus and getting rejected by her would’ve been helpful. Or honestly easing off on the comedy of her intro. Such a one-note character who we are primed to not take seriously isn’t interesting as a major force, so identifying her as a more threatening roadblock for the heroes would’ve made the stakes of the final fight a little more...present.

2. Important storylines got trimmed for time’s sake and weren’t addressed properly.

@hypeathon (whose excellent production analyses for this Volume are well worth a read) identified a tweet Miles made back in October, prior to the premiere and most likely when they were finishing storyboards, about “killing your darlings.” For those unaware and who may have severely misinterpreted that comment, “killing your darlings” is when writers have to sacrifice something they love or want to do so that the story works better. The timeliness of this tweet (after they would’ve finished the script but before they’d wrapped on storyboards and voice acting for the final episodes) suggests the writers’ room had to cut a lot of material from Volume 6 (what Miles called a massacre of darlings), most likely due to production limits or not having enough time to cover them.

Think about it: the story from Chapters 1-7 was really good: everything was properly spaced out, the scripts felt polished, there was a balance of action and comedy and legit storytelling, the good pacing lasted longer than it ever has within a single volume.

Then we hit Chapter 8 and suddenly it all changes: storylines don’t get the proper time devoted to them, arcs come to a screeching halt due to the big fight. Unlike previous volumes, where the imbalance was pretty much the entire volume, there’s actually a clear point right in the middle of this volume where things suddenly took a turn for the worse. And the fact is, some of the problems with the story in the final arc suddenly make more sense if you accept that time that would’ve been devoted to it got sidelined in this “purge”: Qrow’s alcoholism suddenly getting brushed aside after Chapter 9 hopefully to be addressed next volume, Oscar disappearing and all his development happening offscreen, Adam’s completely unsubtle return after only a vague hint in Chapter 1 that would’ve been stronger if he’d kept popping up in Argus. I’d even go so far to say the odd pacing of the final few chapters could easily have been the result of the writing team not being able to devote a single chapter to such a grand fight, so they needed to stretch it out so CRWBY could actually animate it within reasonable deadlines, which meant sacrificing time for those arcs that so desperately needed development.

So what overall is gonna fix RWBY’s pacing in the future? Well, I think at the moment the show is too ambitious. If it wants to keep to a reasonable production schedule, they need to control the scale of their finales so that it can be completed without needing to sacrifice other storylines. If it wants to hold onto that ambition and make the finales as grand as they want it to be to do their boy Monty proud, then they absolutely need to delay the actual release of the volume so they can put in the proper amount of time to both the story and animation. And I don’t think anyone would mind waiting a little longer for Volume 7 if it meant this show got the care and attention it needs to tell the story it clearly wants to tell.

Conclusions

Evaluating Volume 6 is impossible without evaluating what came before it. RWBY was never a perfect show, but when you lose someone who was responsible for the show’s popularity in the first place and have to change how it’s made to make up for his absence, there’s going to be backlash. Backlash from the fans, and, uh, backlash from inside the company. The fact is, people are never going to be satisfied with the RWBY that Rooster Teeth makes today, and Rooster Teeth is never going to push out a RWBY that will make everyone happy. All they can really do is keep moving forward.

And move forward they did. Despite my problems with the finale, Volume 6 was good. I’ve always been sort of ambivalent about the show (I was drawn to it by my brother shortly before Monty’s death and have been watching it out of respect for him and the company as creative artists), and even if I thought some of RWBY’s critics were being too harsh (or seriously needed to find something better to do), I didn’t find Volumes 4 and 5 enjoyable enough that I felt like defending them. But guys, Volume 6 did something amazing: it made RWBY fun to watch again. Focused, consistent, and compelling storytelling plus gradually eased-in worldbuilding made for a story that I could follow along without having to juggle so many different plots. Improvements in the overall animation made things nice to look at and when fights happened they were always entertaining, never making me cringe or grimace, always making me think “Hell yeah, beat the shit out of them!” Just like I felt back in the old days of the show.

I feel as though what’s holding RWBY back at this point, however, is adhering to the production schedule that its old vision called for in making its current vision. And it honestly cannot keep doing that. RWBY is a show trying to reach grand heights, and its rushed production timelines and lost story arcs are keeping it tethered to the ground. Yet I can’t help but say: Volume 6 is RWBY at its finest so far. It can’t fix the problems that previous volumes have had, but it builds on the void those problems left to build a story that makes this show feel like something worth following once more.

So, I can safely say I’ll be following along when RWBY returns for Volume 7...hopefully later rather than sooner (again, it needs a better production schedule).

#rwby #rwby6 #reviewby #crtq

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asknightqueendany · 6 years

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The Big Five (Bran, Arya, Jon, Dany, Tyrion) who will survive is only something that George R. R. Martin wrote in a letter about the upcoming series in 199-fucking-3. It was supposed to be a trilogy. There was supposed to be a love triangle between Tyrion, Arya and Jon. Also dany wasn’t supposed to have dragons in that outline so STOP using the big 5 to justify that Sansa isn’t an important character! It’s getting old and transparent.

I’m cracking up. Have you people even READ the original outline? No? I highly suggest you check it out before sending me asks on it again. You can see the original photos and transcribed texts HERE.

But let’s go through it because it’s a glorious Friday afternoon and I feel like taking some people down a notch.

The things I seem most about GRRM’s original outline as reasons why it shouldn’t be taken seriously are: 1) it was supposed to be a trilogy and 2) there was supposed to be a love triangle between Jon, Arya, and Tyrion. I don’t know where you got the whole, “Dany wasn’t supposed to have dragons” thing anon because according to the outline, there be dragons:

But let’s take a look at the letter. George states, “There are three major conflicts set in motion in the chapters enclosed. These will form the major plot threads of the trilogy, intertwining each other in what should be a complex but exciting (I hope) narrative tapestry. Each of the conflicts presents a major threat to the peace of my imaginary realm, the Seven Kingdoms, and to the lives of my principal characters.”

The first threat, George says, is the Lannister/Stark conflict.

The second threat is the Dothraki invasion, led by Daenerys in what George thought would be his second novel - A Dance With Dragons.

And the Third and final threat to Westeros would be the Others in his presumed last novel - The Winds of Winter.

Now, right off the bat, George has already used all the book titles, with TWOW in progress. On the show, we’ve already seen the play out and conclusion of the Lannister/Stark war. Daenerys/Dothraki invasion of Westeros has happened in the show. And the Others had begun invading the Seven Kingdoms at the end of Season 7.

So all of what George first said has come to pass, just eight seasons and seven books, not a trilogy.

In AGOT, things George said would happen was that Ned and Cat were doomed (✓), things for the Starks would get worse before they got better (✓), Ned would find out what happened to Jon Arryn (✓), Robert would have an accident and the throne would pass to Joffrey (✓), Ned would be accused of treason (✓), and Ned would help Arya and Catelyn escape to Winterfell (did not happen). HOWEVER - Cat never needed escaping from King’s Landing AND Arya did escape King’s Landing after Ned’s beheading - she just didn’t receive help from him.

George says of Sansa: she will wed Joffrey (no) and bear him a son (no), “and when the crunch comes she will choose her husband and child over her parents and siblings, a choice she will later bitterly rue” (✓ - Sansa DOES choose Joffrey over her family in the Riverlands and then again in King’s Landing by going behind Ned’s back to tell Cersei of his plan to send them back to Winterfell and willingly volunteers to write the letter to Robb so that she can still marry Joffrey (not because Cersei made her write it, she did it for Joffrey). Tyrion befriends Sansa (✓) and Arya (no) and becomes disillusioned with his own family (✓).

I’m just going to quote the whole letter from now on because I’m too lazy to type…

“Young Bran will come out of his coma (✓), after a strange prophetic dream (✓), only to discover that he will never walk again (✓). He will turn to magic, at first in the hope of restoring his legs, but later for its own sake (✓). When his father Eddard Stark is executed, Bran will see the shape of doom descending on all of them, but nothing he can say will stop his brother Robb from calling the banners in rebellion (✓) . All the north will be inflamed by war (✓). Robb will win several splendid victories (✓), and maim Joffrey Baratheon on the battlefield (no), but in the end he will not be able to stand against Jaime and Tyrion Lannister and their allies. Robb Stark will die in battle (no), and Tyrion Lannister will besiege and burn Winterfell (no - kinda).” - Winterfell does get besieged and burned, only not by Tyrion, by Theon and Ramsay. And of course, Robb will die during his war against the Lannisters, just not in battle.

“Jon Snow, the bastard, will remain in the far north (✓). He will mature into a ranger of great daring (✓ - kinda), and ultimately will succeed his uncle as the commander of the Night’s Watch(✓ - kinda). When Winterfell burns, Catelyn Stark will be forced to flee north with her son Bran and her daughter Arya (no - kinda). Wounded by Lannister riders, they will seek refuge at the Wall, but the men of the Night’s Watch give up their families when they take the black, and Jon and Benjen will not be able to help, to Jon’s anguish (no). It will lead to a bitter estrangement between Jon and Bran (no). Arya will be more forgiving … until she realizes, with terror, that she has fallen in love with Jon, who is not only her half-brother but a man of the Night’s Watch, sworn to celibacy (no - kinda). Their passion will continue to torment Jon and Arya throughout the trilogy, until the secret of Jon’s true parentage is finally revealed in the last book (no - kinda).” - though Jon isn’t a ranger, he goes on a ranging and is pretty daring. He does become LC but not succeeding Benjen, succeeding Mormont. Bran does flee to the Wall, but to go beyond it. Arya tries to flee North/to the Wall but doesn’t make it. Jon is tormented by a love because of his NW vows of celibacy - Ygritte - and does develop feelings for his kin - Daenerys.

“Abandoned by the Night’s Watch, Catelyn and her children will find their only hope of safety lies even further north, beyond the Wall (no - kinda), where they fall into the hands of Mance Rayder, the King-beyond-the-Wall, and get a dreadful glimpse of the inhuman others as they attack the wildling encampment (no - kinda). Bran’s magic, Arya’s sword Needle, and the savagery of their direwolves will help them survive, but their mother Catelyn will die at the hands of the others (no - kinda).” - as stated, Bran does go beyond the Wall, Jon is the one who falls into the hands of Mance Rayder, Jon does get a glimpse of an Other attack on a wildling encampment (Hardhome), and Bran’s magic and direwolf do save him from the Others (The Door - Hodor).

“Over across the narrow sea, Daenerys Targaryen will discover that her new husband, the Dothraki Khal Drogo, has little interest in invading the Seven Kingdoms, much to her brother’s frustration(✓). When Viserys presses his claims past the point of tact or wisdom, Khal Drogo will finally grow annoyed and kill him out of hand, eliminating the Targaryen pretender and leaving Daenerys as the last of her line (✓). Danerys [sic] will bide her time, but she will not forget (✓). When the moment is right, she will kill her husband (✓) to avenge her brother (no), and then flee with a trusted friend into the wilderness beyond Vaes Dothrak (✓ - kinda). There, hunted by Dothraki bloodriders (✓) [unclear] of her life, she stumbles on a cach***e of dragon’***s eggs (✓ - kinda) [unclear] of a young dragon will give Daenerys the power to bend the Dothraki to her will (✓). Then she begins to plan for her invasion of the Seven Kingdoms (✓). - Daenerys does wander the wilderness beyond Vaes Dothrak (after she hatches her dragons) with her Khalasar in the Red Waste. She does get dragons eggs, just given to her at her wedding instead of stumbling upon them (really, that’s just better storytelling on George’s part. If she had just randomly found them, it would feel too coincidental). Dany did kill Drogo but not to avenge Viserys; it was to put him out of his misery. Dany does use her powers to bend the Dothraki to her will (burning the Khals to become TSWMTW).

“Tyrion Lannister will continue to travel, to plot, and to play the game of thrones (✓), finally removing his nephew Joffrey in disgust at the boy king’s brutality (no - kinda). Jaime Lannister will follow Joffrey on the throne of the Seven Kingdoms (no - kinda), by the simple expedient of killing everyone ahead of him in the line of succession and blaming his brother Tyrion for the murders (no - kinda). Exiled (✓), Tyrion will change sides (✓), making common cause with the surviving Starks to bring his brother down (✓ - kinda), and falling helplessly in love with Arya Stark (✓ - kinda) while he’s at it. His passion is, alas, unreciprocated (✓ - kinda), but no less intense for that, and it will lead to a deadly rivalry between Tyrion and Jon Snow (yet to be seen).” - Joffrey is killed and Tyrion is accused though he wasn’t guilty. Cersei follows her son to the throne after Tommen’s death (which was her fault so she essentially killed him), Tyrion joins Daenerys to bring down Cersei, he falls in love with Dany (according to all of Peter’s interviews about his feelings for Daenerys), as Dany is in love with Jon, it seems Tyrion’s affections are reciprocated, and we don’t yet know if Tyrion and Jon will fight to the death. It’s possible.

So anon, I’d say so far as George’s predictions go for the entire series, he’s gotten it closer to his original outline than not. So please, for the last goddamn time, leave me alone with this bullshit that the Original outline doesn’t mean anything so far as Sansa’s character and I should stop referring to it. Almost everything George predicted he’d write, has come to pass. Perhaps not how he originally thought…but largely, it’s all happened.

Wanna know why Sansa’s a “major character” in the show? Look:

And it’s because of Turner’s strength, Benioff continued, that it made sense to give Sansa a dramatic storyline this season and to use Ramsay’s engagement for that very purpose. In fact, the showrunners first thought about putting Sansa and Ramsay together back when they were writing season 2. “We really wanted Sansa to play a major part this season,” Benioff said. “If we were going to stay absolutely faithful to the book, it was going to be very hard to do that.

D&D wanted it. It’s not George’s story or George’s plan. Dan and Dave like Sophie’s acting and wanted her to play a more major role. So they gave her that. It has absolutely nothing to do with the series as a whole or the endgame. Sansa is not a main character and she will matter very little to the endgame.

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madisonrooney · 5 years

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THOUGHTS ON D3

(some of these may be points about stuff we already knew going into it but like now that weve gotten to see it all together its easier to discuss)

- i like what they did with audrey’s plot. her and mal’s relationship did feel pretty unresolved after d1 so im glad they went this route. not to mention being able to bring her back after her being absent in the second. also i like the message that it gave off about being able to be good or bad regardless of where you come from

- i loved hades! he was so fun and i loved how things ended up with him. and DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO WAS AWESOME probably my fav song. but i cant say im a huge fan of him being mal’s dad. like i loved the way their relationship played out but while the descendants fan in me is happy the disney stickler thinks its a bit too much creative license for them to make a kid the child of two disney characters from two different movies. it also kinda like...almost invalidates her character of “maleficent’s daughter” now shes the daughter of two villains and it?? feels different?? if that makes sense?? could the other VKs possibly have another villain as their other parent?? who knows. also i wish they hadn’t made it so obvious so early like people guessed this A YEAR AND A HALF AGO WHEN THE TEASER CAME OUT. maybe had it just been a few months it wouldnt have been as bad but yeesh. it made the shock factor...well, almost non-existant.

- continuing on their relationship, i thought tackling the idea of an absentee dad was a bold move for a movie like this and i applaud it. not to mention with an upbeat musical number? they really did that

- i loved celia too!! i was afraid she was gonna be more bad news than she was but she was super cute and sweet. loved her friendship with dizzy. and loved getting to see more of dizzy! and even though dr facilier wasnt in it much he was fun. i thought it was sweet that he and celia seemed to have a good relationship. im also glad we got to see lady tremaine! but wheres drizella lol

- also in regards to hades and celia, i liked that they brought in two more movies into the universe that hadnt yet been acknowledged (not counting wicked world or the books). i love both hercules and princess and the frog and while i wouldnt call them underrated theyre not quite as mainstream as some of the other movies in the descendants universe so im happy with that.

- on the other hand, i dont really like it when they get more kids from movies that they already have kids from. in this case, squeaky and squirmy. gil seemed out of place to me when i first watched d2, especially cuz like why would gastons son be a pirate, but since he had some funny lines with ben (in this movie too!) it was worth it. but squeaky and squirmy had no lines with harry? THEY ALMOST DIDNT HAVE ANY LINES AT ALL??? so why couldnt they have had them be kids from a movie they hadnt used yet? the more the merrier imo. idk.

- mal and uma repairing their relationship was like the highlight for me ugh it was so good. i think we all had a feeling that would happen (not just from speculation but from set pics and whatnot) but it felt satisfying regardless. uma saying “im right here mal you got this”? love that

- WE LOVE MORE DRAGON MAL. EVEN MORE THAN IN D2. WE LOVE THAT A LOT.

- WE ALSO LOVE MORE DUDE. OK SO MAYBE THATS JUST ME BUT SCREW IT I LOVE TALKING DOGS SO IM GLAD HE STILL TALKED. DOVE CAMERON AND A TALKING DOG IN THE SAME MOVIE IS BASICALLY PANDERING TO ME OK

- WE ALSO LOVE MALVIE CONTENT!!! love that evie was the only one who knew hades was her dad AND LOVE THAT THEY SAID I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER LIKE DAMN. AND DURING MY ONCE UPON A TIME WHEN MAL LIKE CARESSES HER FACE??? LIKE HER INTERACTION WITH HER WAS MORE INTENSE THAN WITH ANYONE ELSE EVEN BEN??? GOOD SHIT

- OK I KNEW ABOUT THE DID I MENTION REPRISE AS OF A FEW DAYS AGO BUT IM A SLUT FOR PARALLELS SO THAT STILL KILLED ME

- any parallels killed me. especially, ofc, ending with “cuz were rotten...to the core” (tho i was hoping the rotten remix thats on the soundtrack would be in the movie)

- loved getting more harry and gil content. gil is so blissfully stupid and precious and i love him and harry is so chaotic and i love him too

- and just...love the sea three bonding with the core four. also it felt well paced. wasnt rushed, had its moments to slowly get us there (mal+uma, jay+gil+harry) it felt like it went just the way it was supposed to.

- the whole series of events felt well paced and well ordered

- tbh i think its hilarious how chad’s douche baggery never dies down. i mean points for consistency i guess

- (did anyone catch the sign on the isle that mentioned monstro? good easter egg)

- (im really going out of order ik)

- one kiss was fun and cute, but i never felt like doug and evie were like...behind in their relationship? if anything i thought as of d2 their relationship was more stable than that of mal and ben

- night falls was a little silly and felt a little too similar to its goin down to me but it served a purpose and it was still fun

- and ofc it was so bittersweet to watch cam. the dedications were heart-wrenching but beautiful.

overall it really could not have been better! great new characters, great development on the characters we love, great soundtrack, and, most importantly, a story that perfectly wraps up the franchise. its hard to get a trilogy right. i love a lot of trilogies but a lot of them have some major flaws. with like say the kung fu panda movies, the 2nd and 3rd feel like theyre about very different things than the first. it doesnt feel like its telling one cohesive story. some have a second that feels unimportant to be between the 1st and 3rd. this just felt like perfectly coming full circle. everything from the beginning of the first movie to the end of the third felt necessary to tell the story. no useless filler, all essential to the plot, adding more as we go and resolving more, but having a hell of a lot of fun the entire time. i remember d2 being one of the most, if not the most, satisfying sequels ive ever seen. maybe part of that has to do with descendants being such a main fandom of mine when it came out, but sometimes, even new additions to my main fandoms can disappoint. these sequels really haven’t. part of that may just have to do with my love for the franchise regardless of the direction it goes in, but i know that it also has to do with just a great job in storytelling. continuing the story and wrapping it up just right. when the first one came out, we didn’t know it would be a trilogy. it works great as a standalone movie, but when you see the third one, you would think it was intended this way from the beginning, which honestly gives it even more power.

it breaks my heart to let this franchise go, but ofc in mal’s words “this is not the end.” with it just coming out, that means its just the beginning of discussions, gifs, memes, fanart, and all that fun stuff. so lets jump right in!

and, as always, every bit of love in my heart goes to cam tonight. we still miss you endlessly and we always will.

#descendants #descendants 3

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swayinghummingbirds · 6 years

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i feel like i need to blog more stuff out of me to research my own thoughts ignore me or help me either is welcomed.

so like i was diagnosed with mdd , panic/anxiety disorder so i know how it goes and how it feels and all that jazz. used to be on medication and not for almost two years. i can usually cope well since while i was on medication ifound many ways to do so. but now ive come across season affective disorder and i gotta say i am not a fucking fan. i cant bring myself to do the coping mechanisms because im fucking cold and there is no sun ever.

this time last year i felt the exact same way and almost moved back to fl but didnt want to give up on tn yet. but im wondering is it maybe time to give up on it? i have no family here. and my family is expanding and growing without me. which makes it worse.

ive been where i am for almost a year now and its been good. but there are no sidewalks like anywhere? im so tired of sharing walls. sure, its a townhouse and its pretty big and two floors and fire place but my neighbors are so annoying and for some reason in tennessee so many people think its absolutely okay to let their dogs out with leashes?

knoxville is a really cool city and ive loved living here but idk if i can stand the winter. and its just a mild winter, idk how yall in the north handle it. i see now why when i moved abck to pa for 8 months my mom had it by the time march came around and we moved back to fl.

a part of me feels like i might even just get bored with where i am after a certain amount of time considering how i was brought up. i have moved 17 times, which is wild for a child. probably why i have a hard time making friends too.

tried leaving work yesterday after i got my list done (usually isnt a problem for my manager but the ass. manager always fights me with it). i told him three times i already had 2 1/2 hours of overtime and ill be leaving when im finished but bitch never listens to me and acts like he didnt hear me say it to his damn face.Usually i ask just to be polite and make sure but this time im telling him. kind of snapped on him because the day before i just cried all fucking day and had that feeling in my stomach and felt the same way when i woke up. old me would have called out, one because the position i was in was easily fillable but now im actually needed so i go to do my job and if i get done early that means im working my ass off and sweating like a pig to get done three hours early. (and the girl who does the work on the two days im off never gets the shit down or sets the room or anything up in order to have a good morning because the whole thing is very time sensitive and its very frustrating. also she called out like three times this week and made my week shittier than it needed to be.) like bitch no that doesnt mean i want to stay and help with other things after exerting so much energy that i dont even have in myself to begin with. so anyways i cried and then the manager came and talked to me and was understanding because he is aware of my mental health issues and i forgot steve- the ass manager (assistant manager , but also ass because he can be an ass) was not aware. so all in all i talked to my manager and told him and he was very supportive and then i went to apologize to steve and he reassured me i was valued and adored here which was nice. and i had to basically tell him if im trying to leave early it usually means because im feeling like a crazy bitch whos on the break of a mental breakdown so. quit fighting me.

so anyways.

even if i did move back fl ive finally gotten myself where i wanted to be in my job but i guess if it was meant to be the universe will take care of it just like it did when we moved here.

a week before almost moving back to fl my grandparents came to visit and we were in crossville, which is the half way point from here to where we were living at the time and i was like hey lets try knoxville and the next day we went to look at apartments and as we were looking this place went up for rent almost as if the universe here, ask and you shall receive. because i was only looking at places that was in between the three stores that we could have possibly transferred to because i had no idea which one it was going to be i just new it was going to happen. and then when trying to transfer we my fiancees assistant manager knew the manager at this store here and said that he would take both of us and needed help in the area i wanted to be in and i was like wow amazing its all working out. and it did and it was great and then it got cold. and then holidays came. and birthdays came. and i ive learned so much about myself and i feel like yes i needed this part of my life. and now im not sure if istill need it.

we have a vision of owning a little home a nice big plot of land near the mountains with a spring and creek on site with woods around. if we kept it up and really searched when the time came yeah im feel like we could find it. but what if i still feel this way when were there? then weve bought a home and it would be harder to get rid of. i have a vision of my own business with yoga. i find myself in capable of moving between the months of decemeber and march. then what. even when i get on to the mat i cant get into the flow.

and what if we move back to fl. would he resent me for giving up on our dreams? will i be tired of people demanding my time and energy? will i bitch about the heat all the time and the fact that neighbros are every where? probably, yes, yes, and yes.

but will i resent him for not moving back to spend our lives with our families? will i resent myself for not listening to the feeling in my stomach? or would i resent myself if i did listen to that feeling and gave up on the mountainous dreams.

i know we would welcomed back with opened arms and i know not many would miss us here.

the mountains are beautiful and so mystical when there. i wonder how it would be to live there. i always end up feeling so creeped out at some point of hikes because i feel like something is watching us, and i know there is, there is always is whether its and animal or a spirit. but sometimes those spirits, or beings, are just so strong of a force. what if we bought a property with one of those that wouldnt be able to make peace with us? i always imagined if we ended up with a property with strong entities then we would make peace and ring singing bowls and plant luscious plants for them. but what if they hate it all. and what if our neighbors down the street end up being cannabilistic cult people? what if some animal tried to maul my dog (which already happens frequently, shes a chihuahua everything is out to get her). what if something happens at oak ridge? i had no idea i was living next to a giant nuclear power plant thing.

but then its like okay what if theres a giant hurricane that tears my house down (i had a tree fall on my house during matthew which is one reason why we left) or the storm sturge sweeps my house away. trey is scared of tsunamis, not that one has happened there probably ever, idk but it is a weird fear of his. surprisingly tornados do happen in tn too.

and a day like today, where trey is working all day and i have the day off. there isnt much to do. its cold out so i cant sit on my patio for a few hours like i would in the summer. i dont like to go shopping. i dont have a friend to hang out with, which is my own fault people im really not a big people person. i have hung out with a couple a few tiems, and idk ij ust would rather not. but if i were in fl i could go hang out with my brother, or treys sister, or the few friends i have there. or go to the beach and sit on my own, because its not fucking weird to sit alone there and usually you dont have to worry about getting mugged. i cant go to the parks here on my own. i cant take my dog for walks around here because there are no side walks and people just look shady af everywhere.

when i went to visit for my brothers wedding in october i realized how i did not appriciate the plant life naturally around all year round when i lived there for 11 years. i guess mostly because it wasnt until two years ago that i really got in to plants but omg i cant stop imagining what our yard would look like if we were in aplace where things could just be outside all year round. i would take cuttings of my plants andjust put them every where have my own little tropical paradise in my front and back yard.

i know this all is really sounding one sided atm but this time last year i was having the exact same visions and the exact same thoughts. and i thought about how what if my brother has kids and im up here well hello here we are now and thats happening. i feel like i need to be there. theres even a house for sale on the same street as him and all i could was fantasize what i would do to the house and how i would baby sit for them and be able to see my dog that i left with him because ultimately she was is but we co owned her together and just to be there. and be with my mom. shes living in orland with her boyfriend and i feel like the fact shes goingt o be a grandmother might sway him into moving closer, she hates the city and i imagine shes just as depressed as i am to be away and to be in a city where you dont feel safe to go outside alone. we are creatures of nature and both pisces and very sensitive to everything.

and what if trey and i have a baby at some point? we have no one here to help us. i was thinkg about how our wedding date is a year and like two months away and i have no one here to help me plan. and for a long itme i always imagined myself getting married at this place called sugar mill gardens, a botanical garden that i had always loved in my home town there. when trey and i got together we would pokemon go there and take clippings, and i still have those plants today. but then this new vision came where we would get married on our future property. i feel like we are still a long way away from buying a house here though. idk if we would be there in time. and since we went back in october all i can think about is getting married in sugar mill. he reproposed to me when we were there and that was so sweet and just made me want to be there instead for it.

this is very long but these are my constant thoughts that all happen at once and it feels nice to get them out to piece them together and not feel so overwhelmed with all them at one time in layers upon layers of thoughts. sometimes my vision even goes out and i dissociate and just work blurred vision cross eyed for ten minutes, who knows maybe its an hour. im back there by myself for eight hours a day idk.

#v long #nothing to see here #sorry for clogging your dash #idk how to break it

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saltycalormene · 7 years

Text

Eeveelution Comic Chapter One: A Tale of Two Eevees

Latias: Here we are!

Welcome to the first all-pokemon owned PokeMart! *gestures widely to an empty building*

*shows shot of eeveelutions looking in excitement/awe/skepticism/whatever*

Latias: (narrating) Look at their faces. If only I had managed to snap a picture of this exact moment.

Vaporeon: With that tree nearby, I’ll bet I could climb right into the window on the second floor. That one with the crooked blinds?

Latias:This is Vaporeon. She’s probably the sassiest of the bunch, and the one who helps keep things organized.

Jolteon: You probably wouldn’t even need the tree, sis, you climb like an ambipom.

Latias: This is Jolteon. He’d like to fool you into thinking that he’s the charisma, but he’s actually just a big goof. That said, he actually does have good people skills when he puts his mind to it.

Flareon: I’ll bet we can have this place all fixed up and ready to go in a week!

Latias: Flareon is the driving force and the passion of the group. She also is very loud and has the patients of your average Primape.

Latias: The utilities have already been turned on. The downstairs is the shop area, and the upstairs has 3 bedrooms and one bathroom. It would be tight living but—

Vee: *hugs Latias* Thank you so much, Miss Latias! It’s perfect!

Eve: Yes, it’s beautiful! Thank you so much for donating to our cause!

Latias: Happy to help! This is Eevee and…well, Eevee. In all honesty, I’m not too sure what they bring to the group, or what role they play, but they’re really cute!

And I’m Latias, you probably guessed. I’m a pokemon photographer—that is to say, I photograph pokemon in their day-to-day lives and blog about it. It started as a hobby, but my work has gotten me somewhat famous. Of course, my brother and I being a part of a legendary family, it’s not too hard to get noticed. Anyway I stumbled across the Eeveelution’s goal on social media. They had posted an ad asking people to donate to their goal of starting the region’s first pokemon-owned PokeMart. I’m not actually sure how they all met, but hardly anyone had donated to their cause yet.

Latias: So I decided to give them the leg-up that they needed. *handing an envelope to Vaporeon* Here’s a few giftcards and a bit of loose cash; they should have enough on them to give you a good start on fixing up the building, stocking it, and carrying you guys over until you’re able to start selling. Being a legendary has it’s perks, and I figure it’s only fair if we share our fortune with others.

Vaporeon: Thank you so much!

Latias: *getting into her car* I’d love to stay, but I’ve got somewhere I need to be. But you kids call me if you need anything, okay?

Eeveelutions: *saying goodbye*

Latias: Of course, money was only the first obstacle to overcome. For the most part, they’d have to figure the rest out for themselves.

Flareon: Alright then! You heard the lady, lets head to the hardware store!

Jolteon: Yeah, good idea. And get what exactly? We still haven’t even looked inside.

Vee: I wanna pick out which room is gonna be my room! And we should bring our luggage in!

Eve: She said there’s only three rooms…

Vaporeon: If this is gonna be a store, shouldn’t we start thinking about putting in some-I dunno-shelves maybe?

Latias: *during a shot of eeveelutions arguing/discussing* Differences are good, but they also mean that everyone has a different idea of what’s important.

Vaporeon: Alright, listen, we’ll look around inside then Flareon and Eevee can go to the hardware store and pick out what tools and things we’ll need, I can measure and figure out what sizes of shelves we’ll need and help Jolteon and Eevee clean the place up.

Vee: But sis I wanna go with you!

Eve: I’d actually like to stay here and help clean, if that’s alright.

Vaporeon: …that’s what I said…

Jolteon: *poses* Good idea. This is why you’re the brains and I’m the good looks, sister. (Vaporeon, offscreen: Don’t do that)

Flareon: *all motivational-like* Then let’s get to it already!

*Shows several shots of the Eeveelutions cleaning, the shop area looking nicer and nicer, in between each shot, there’s a scene involving Eevee and Eevee confusion.*

Vaporeon: *Calling from somewhere up high* Hey, Eevee! I dropped my painbrush; can you get it for me.

Both Eevees: Sure! *both bend down to pick up paintbrush and bonk heads*

Vaporeon: --!

Jolteon: We’re gonna need aprons. What color do you think looks best on me Eevee? ~* Azure or Sapphire?

Eve: Azure!

Vee: Sapphire!

Eevees: *look at each other*

Eve: Sapphire!

Vee: Azure!

Jolteon: …

Flareon: Eevee, could you get me a coffee? Extra hot like I like it!

Eve: *from one side* Of course

Vee: *from the other side* On it sis!

Flareon: *holding 2 coffees and looking all “…”*

Vaporeon: *to Jolteon and Flareon as Eve and Vee are painting a wall together and giggling/chatting in the background* Alright, I didn’t want to be the one to say it, but we have to do something about Eevee and Eevee’s names.

Flareon: *handing Vaporeon her extra coffee* Here, this has cooled down a bit now.

Jolteon: Yeah, you’re probably right. We can’t just call them both “Eevee”; it’s too confusing. On that note: does Azure or Sapphire look better on me?

Flareon: Neither.

Vaporeon: Both.

Jolteon: C’mon guys…

Flareon: But seriously, it’s not like we can just rename them! They…should know who we’re talking to, right? Like if we look at them when we’re talking or—

Vaporeon: Eevee, can you come here please?

Both Eevees: Sure!/Ok! *both eevees walk over*

Vaporeon: *looks at Flareon like “see?”*

Flareon: Ok, so maybe we should think of nicknames.

Eve: We were actually thinking the same thing.

Vee: Yeah, like I still don’t know if you were calling me or Eevee over.

Jolteon: Well, Eevee is your sister, Flareon. We could call her “Flareon’s Eevee”.

Vee: Ehhhhhhhh…

Flareon: No.

Vaporeon: Eevee likes fancy dresses! We could call her “Fancy Eevee”

Eve: But Eevee likes fancy dresses too…

Flareon: What about just “Eevee 1” and “Eevee 2”?

Everyone: …..

Flareon: Yeah, I realized that was a bad idea as soon as I said it… I’m brainstorming ok!?

Eve: *stomach growls loudly* *blushes*

Vee: *giggles* Well, I can’t think on an empty stomach! Let’s go pick up some sandwiches from that cute little deli we saw on the way over here!

Flareon: *hands Vee some money* You’re always hungry, Eevee… Here, pick one up for me; you know what I like.

Vaporeon: Yeah, no need for us all to go; but could you pick me up a sandwich too? I like veggie sandwiches.

Jolteon: *winks* I’d love to escort you lovely ladies, but I have a feeling I’ll be needed h—

Vaporeon: *elbows Jolteon in the gut*

Jolteon: --oof! …turkey sandwich.

Eevees: Ok! We’ll be right back!

- - -

*on the way back from the deli, carrying bags with Psyduck on them.*

Vee: *holding half-eaten sandwich* Veevee, Wevee, Xs-eevee, Yevee, and Zevee…ok, so that was the whole alphabet. We can’t just replace the first E in Eevee and do it that way.

Eve: Some of those turned out sounding a little…odd.

Vee: But there’s not much we can do with “Eevee” is there…?

Eve: Hmm… Eevee…

Vee: E e v e e…

Eve: Ee v ee

Vee: EEVee…

Eve: EeVEE…

Vee: EeVEE..?

Eve: EEVee?

Vee: *points at Eve* Eve…?

Eve: *points at Vee* …Vee?

Both: EVE VEE!!

- - -

*Jolteon headed upstairs, Vaporeon on her computer, and Flareon painting*

Jolteon: I’m gonna go check out the upstairs again.

Vaporeon: Don’t you dare go calling dibs on rooms yet; let’s just leave that tradition in our childhood, ok?

Flareon: Am I the only one who hasn’t given up on painting?!

Vaporeon: You’re the tallest, and I’m picking out shelves.

Eevees burst through the door, holding bags of sandwiches: Eve-Vee!!

Flareon and Vaporeon: …?

Vee: *shoves sandwich at Flareon*

Flareon: Did you make sure to get spicy s--?

Vee: Eve-Vee! Eve Vee!

Vaporeon: Can you stop just saying your own name? It’s kinda freaking me out.

Eve: No, no, what she means is we figured it out! We just split it! Eve…

Vee: VEE!!

Both: Eve-Vee!

Vaporeon: Hey, that’s cute!

Flareon: See, I told you it wasn’t going to be a proble—

Jolteon: *from upstairs* DIBS ON THE ROOM WITH THE 5 OUTLETS!

Vaporeon: Oh Arceus…

Flareon: *charging upstairs* OH NO YOU DON’T!! JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ELECTRIC TYPE! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POKEFLIX I WATCH!!

Latias: By the time I came to check on them that afternoon, the whole main shop was freshly painted, shelves had been picked out and ordered, and Jolteon and Flareon were both refusing to leave one of the upstairs rooms.

So like I said, they had a lot to work through together, but the whole point of funding this was to give them a chance to do it and make some memories along the way. After all, you’re only young once, and the sooner you can start working toward your dreams and figuring out who you are the better!

*shows snapshot of Eve and Vee* For Eevee and Eevee—or, Eve and Vee, as they decided to be called—today was a first big step in the ‘figuring out who you are’ bit. They had a long way to go, but they were well on their way and had some good support behind them. And if you have a good group of friends behind you, there’s almost nothing you can’t do.

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for-the-brokenhearted · 5 years

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1/23/2020

i am actually getting freaked out about how much time is passing without me logging in or anything. a lot of course has happened in the 7+ months ive been gone. its like a fucking pregnancy

ive literally been gone almost long enough to have a fucking child. i should start writing in here more, bobbi even suggested that. i had a meltdown at her house a couple of weeks ago and she gave me some really great advice....jase too.

i was upset bc craig and i had another fight. we had just gotten back from ny and i got sick with sinus infection and pink eye. wonderful. he came over and gave me some schpeel about...wait...schpiel? shpealllll....shpiel??

*clears throat*

....about how he would like for us to be a couple that has great self discipline and shit... blah blah blah. im so annoyed. not only was it the most imperfect timing (me feeling as bad as i look) but as if i already didnt feel like shit.

this september, on MY birthday actually, we had a huge blowout bc i just couldnt take it anymore. i was sick of feeling fat, imperfect, ugly, not fit, all that jazz.

what caused it all was him pointing out how i had bad posture while driving to his house. i fucking lost my shit.

“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP POINTING OUT MY INSECURITIES I FEEL LIKE IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU IM SICK OF THIS SHIT I SHOULD NOT FEEL THIS BAD ABOUT MYSELF ALL THE TIME AND IM SICK OF THE PASSIVE AGRESSIVE COMMENTS YOU MAKE ABOUT ME AND MY BODY AND I FEEL LIK EVERY TIME YOU TOUCH ME ITS LIKE YOU’RE EVALUATING MY BODY FAT”

to be fair, i shoudlnt have blown the fuck up. but come on. i had been dealing with this shit for over two years. since float fest, maybe even before that. which is awful bc i shouldnt feel so bad everytime i look in the mirror.

when im with my boyfriend or future husband or whatever...i should feel like the most beatufiyl person, inside and out. like i can tell him EVERYTHING and not feel like i have to lie to protect myself.

this is just scary bc the bottom line is lately i havent felt like that. in a long time. like prob over a year. which sucks.

anyways, the solution i came up with was to not talk about food, health, or fitness for 3 months. yup. i laid down the law.

but at the same time, i needed to. this had really manifested itself into something super super ugly. where when we went out to eat i would order what i would think he would WANT me to order, not bc he said anything, but bc of the pressure i felt whether that was coming from him or me.

i would also lie about getting fast food by myself or feel happy when i would skip a meal bc it was less calories- these are very unhealthy behaviors and i did tons more.

i felt like the little commesnt like grande girl or glutton girl really got to me and he probably felt like he could make those comments safely bc i wasnt fat or unhealthy. but he made me feel like it.

im still working on it everyday, but right now im hitting a wall.

Bobbi told me to start writing more bc i think the stream of consciousness helps me cope. and i know shes right. i tell craig the same thing and he says it helps him gather his thoughts and whatnot.

i went over to her house freaking out bc i found myself in a state where i’m afraid of everything- this is actually my current state. i just had a major realization.

im afraid of love. marriage. committment.. running. exercising. living together. moving forward- even though that's everything i want

craig also said that he felt like hes not allowed to touch me and we havent had sex in a while. bobbi pointed out that this is probably bc i wasnt taking care of myself and bc I didnt like MYSELF so i didnt want anyone near me.

she was def right about that.

so i started doing more for myself and prioritizing the things i needed to do over everything else. its been nice. i even took a bath today. and the thing is craig is happy when i do things for myself like that. which is great.

but im still defensive and i still reject physical touch. i dont feel that kind of love i felt for craig at the beginning and he probably knows that. weve been through so much and ifeel like i dont know what to do.

i feel like were so unhealthy and i feel like things are always so fucking hard. i mean you know whats batshit crazy....? weve been dating for almost 5 motherfucking years.

im so upset. not that weve been dating for that long, but because i feel like were still in such a juvenile spot. i got made earlier in 2019 bc craig is JUST NOW thinking about marriage and is having a forward thinking mindset. justnow. i am 25. im just sick of dating someone younger than me sometimes.

i want to be lead. i want someone whos there for me. i want security, reliabiolity, etc.

last night we atually got into an arguemnt over bobbi and jase: tl;dr i feel like hes weird aroudn them and didnt liek the fact that he says a ton of outlandish negative untrue bullshit about jase and its not even true. its just based off of the “vibes” he gets. i dont do that. i try to be as kind as i can to everyone and i just feel like he has a lack of tolerance. i dont like that. i want him to have a good heart and treat everyone as they should be regardless of their background, unhealthy habits etc.

i just feel like maybe the more we grow old or whatever, the less compatible were getting. and im exhausted. i dont feel like dating anyone else i dont even feel like dating him sometimes.

something cool we did discover, along with the fact that i need to take care of myself more is that in the relationship i have alwasy been “on” or “on call” in a way of alwasy being alert and never at rest bc i feel like he needs me to show up somewhere and in a way it was my way of showing that i cared about the relationship bc it was always top of mind, wrong. i am tired and maybe thats why i always got on his ass about random bullshit bc i felt like i was always putting in way more effort than he was, bc i was. in a bad way.

I'm really lost and i don't know what to do. I've been in new Orleans (still am) for Kaltura connect and its been super fun to meet a ton of cool people. but i am so tired, I worked almost a 12 hour day yesterday and conferences are exhausting.

maybe im feeling this way bc I'm tired? i just hope we get it back even though sometimes it feels like we wont’. our relationship has always been so volatile form the very beginning and i was hoping that over time it would get better. in some ways it has, in some ways it hasnt.

i look at couples and marriage photos and see the love and the joy these other people experience and i wonder if i will ever get that. sometimes with craig i think yes, but sometimes i think no. what if this ends. i know ill be okay if it does but obviously thats not ideal. the thing is that were not even married and i dont feel that now, will i ever? will it come back? im praying for an amazing and safe but spontaneous love and ive been praying that for a while, i just dont know if ill ever get that with him. is this God telling me this is the end? then again, ive felt like this before

like last year 12.23.18 when craig called me a slut and called my family psychos at the slc track bc i accidentally threw keys at my face. it took me the majority of 2019 to get over that. and to get over the fact that 4 months later i was going to be fired from wells fargo.

bottom line is im getting older and i feel like i don't have time for stupid bullshit or to feeol bad about myself, but the problem is that i still do. maybe this is just the beginning of the end. we love each other so much- i really do and i mean it. sometimes i feel like i could never be this comfortable with anyone ever again, but then again i said that last time with chad.

fuckkkkkkkkk i hate feeling like this. i hate being so unsure about everything and feeling like shit. i feel lonely bc sometimes our disagreements are so bad. i just want him to grow up and get over htis shit or maybe its just time to move on.

hes already done some growing up but i cant keep banking on that to happen in a long term plan bc what happens if he doesnt..... then what.

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makironata-blog · 6 years

Text

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 219

youtube

Click on the video above to watch Episode 219 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Adam: Welcome everybody to Hump Day Hangouts, the Semantic Mastery public Q&A. This is episode 219. 219 episodes. Today is the 16th of January, 2019. I am gong to go down really quick say hi to everybody before we get started with all of the good stuff. On my left hand side I’ve got Chris. Chris, how are you doing, man?

Chris: Been good. Happy to be here. Exciting times as always good to be on a Wednesday. How are you doing?

Adam: Not bad. You know, something you talked about at POFU Live, and something I just scheduled had to do with planning. I’m going to ask you a little honest spot question, but do you do yearly planning, number one and number two, when do you do the yearly planning?

Chris: Well, I rarely do yearly planning. Pretty much as we all do in a [inaudible 00:00:56] day plans. So I pretty much do those things when the [inaudible 00:01:02] iteration or if you want to call it that way that might not be on the first January. It is whenever it is for me.

Adam: Sounds good. Alright.

Chris: I have yearly plan still, and five year plans as well. It’s just like a break down to pretty much what’s important in the moment, what needs to be down right now and course correcting on a weekly basis.

Adam: Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Alright. I was curious and I figured other people might want to know how it’s done on the inside. Just figuring that. Hernan, how are you doing, man?

Hernan: I’m doing good, actually. I don’t plan shit. I’m just kidding. We do. Yeah, we do a lot of planing, actually. I do the same with Chris. I do three months sprints, and a yearly plan a yearly idea of rough objectives and then three months. Nobody asked me, but I’m telling you guys three months.

Adam: We’re going to edit this out.

Bradley: We all have to acknowledge his hair cut.

Adam: Yeah. Look at that. He’s looking … You’re looking pretty smooth.

Hernan: Yeah, I look like a person now, like a business …

Bradley: Believe it or not that you look younger, man.

Chris: You’ve got a second one, respect.

Bradley: Hernan is the youngest of us, and he looks even younger now so he’s making me feel old.

Hernan: Sorry man, let me click …

Adam: That’s alright Bradley, we’re showing white in our beards so I think [crosstalk 00:02:26]. Marco, how are you doing man?

Marco: Man, what’s up. A warm hello from 82 degree and sunny Costa Rica. Fuck all of you.

Bradley: Yeah, this is what I got for you buddy. That’s for you.

Marco: It’s so beautiful, come join me. It’s so good.

Adam: Man, Bradly. Last but not least, are you guys getting slammed? I thought I heard something about the north east getting pummeled.

Bradley: We got hammered a few days ago, we still got snow on the ground. We got, here in Culpepper, probably about six inches maybe. Which was pretty good. Believe it or not my daughter’s 13 and I have never had a chance to play in the snow with her. This was the first time, I had her this past weekend, and we got the snow on Saturday so Sunday it was great because it was the first time in 13 years, or ever, that I’ve been able to play in the snow with my daughter.

It just so happened that every time we had ever had snow before wasn’t a weekend that I had her so this was, it was a lot of fun. We got to run around and do snowball fights and make snow angels and sledding and all that stuff. It was a lot of fun.

Hernan: That’s awesome.

Adam: That’s really cool, man. Well, before we get into it. We’ve got a few things we want to share with everybody. First of all if you’re new to Semantic Mastery, thanks again for watching. Whether you’re watching us live, whether you’re checking it out on YouTube and watching the replay. In case you don’t know you can always go to semanticmastery.com/hdquestions and ask ahead of time and watch the replay.

We know whether it’s time zones or you’ve got client meetings or you’re working, whatever it is, you might not be able to be here live but that shouldn’t stop you from asking questions and getting answers. A follow on to that, a lot of people ask, “Well, okay, I’ve been watching your videos. Where should I start with Semantic Mastery, what should I do?” The place to always start is the battle plan.

Okay, just go to battleplan.semanticmastery.com, repeatable processes. It’s SEO, it’s digital marketing and it’s the way to get started and have that firm foundation so that everything you build up is on that solid foundation. If you’re already passed that point and you’re looking for the peer community, you’re looking for advanced strategies, you’re looking for networking then that’s why you would come join the Mastermind.

That you can find at mastermind.semanticmastery.com. Also, again if you’re watching on YouTube, hit the subscribe button. Obviously, you’ll see these videos and stay up to date with anything else new we put out there. Real quick, speaking of the Mastermind I believe we had some training coming up, right Bradley? I forget what it was exactly you’re going to be covering coming up in the next week or two.

Bradley: Yeah, next week on Thursday for our Mastermind webinar I’m going to be doing some training on using Google Ads. Specifically, or primarily, we’re going to be … I’m going to be walking through a set up of how, I’ve been talking about this on Hump Day Hangouts for a year and a half now at least. But how I use Google Ads for YouTube to rank videos, local videos in search, in Google search.

But it’s more than just that. Recently, I mean I still do that all the time anyways for helping videos to rank, but I’ve also found that Google Ads platform, including the display network and YouTube ads have gotten a lot better. They’re targeting options have gotten so much better in the last year, it’s incredible and because of that I found that when I was … Before what I was just doing was setting up ad campaigns specifically to generate local IP, or local views to a video within a specific geographic targeting area as well as, if possible, finding a good, what’s called an in market audience or life event audience.

Which are audiences that Google has determined that the users within those audiences are in the market for a particular product or service. If you can find a category that would fit then that traffic ends up not being just good for helping the video to rank, but it ends up being like relevant traffic that ends up at, sometimes it’s not a lot, but at least with the campaigns I set up. But some of those end up … Forgive me for a minute, I’ve got a call coming in. Stand by guys.

That traffic ends up coming in … Ends up being possibly good traffic for leads. In other words, you can use these campaigns for lead generation. You can also use these campaigns for branding. If you’re doing any remarketing, which is really powerful and I’m going to touch on that as well next week. Then you can build a remarketing list that way and also remarket to people that have interacted with either your video or if they click through to your website or a landing page, or whatever. You could remarket to those people, so those are people that took action and actually clicked through.

I’m going to be walking through all that and then I’m also going to be talking about how to set up remarketing campaigns in the Google display network because I’ve been doing a lot of remarketing stuff and display ads recently for a client of mine that does a lot of ad spend in Google and I found that just recently the Google display network is so much better than it used to be. It used to be a real pain in the ass to set up display ads because you had to get a graphic designer to design the banner, whatever banner it was, and then have that banner created in multiple sizes.

Leaderboard and 350 by 250 rectangle. All those, the standard sizes and if you wanted to split test ads you had to get the graphic designer to create different ad sets for you. It was a real pain in the ass and that’s why I stopped doing display network ads for a long time. But within the last year or so, and I don’t know when exactly, but Google has changed to where now you create what’s called responsive display ads and all you do is upload images, there’s a square version and a rectangular version and specific dimensions that you need to upload or within a range of specific dimensions.

Anyways, you just upload a square image and a rectangular image, it’s pretty much the same image, and then logos. Rectangular and square versions of logos and then you add up to five headlines, a long headline, one long headlines, and then up to five descriptions. What Google does is it will just grab one of the images, a version of the logo, and one of the headlines and descriptions and create an ad out of that. What it does, is overtime, it will automatically optimize the ads based upon the images, the headlines, and the descriptions and which combination produces the most click-throughs and that’s what it will start to show more.

Again, it just became super easy to set up ads in the display network. What used to be a pain in the ass and because of that I want to do some specific training on that for remarketing as well as for cold traffic. Basically in two weeks from tomorrow, or excuse me a week from tomorrow, I’m going to be doing a full two … We usually go two and a half or three hours on Mastermind, training on specifically how to use Google Ads. Just YouTube ads and the display network ads.

Adam: Nice. Nice, and speaking of webinars, Marco you just had a webinar didn’t you?

Marco: Yeah, I’m glad that Bradley’s doing this training because we talked about entities on Monday, right? I mean, almost everyone stayed until the end but we talked about how you create them, how to verify them, validate, solidify and then we talked about the art of ART. Which I’m always talking about. Activity, Relevance, Trust and authority. Relevance is just you make sure that your content stays relevant and that you do, you write your silos.

They have to be Semantically related. The Semantic relevance has to be kept within the silo, you don’t want to break that and so we talked. I’m glad that Bradley’s doing this training because what better way is there to validate your entity then to go and pay Google for some ads and run them to your stuff because it’s traffic and what’s the first part of ART, Activity. Without activity you’re ship is dead in the water no matter what you do.

I mean, you have to do so much work in order to get it to start getting traffic and what Bradley does, what Bradley’s going to show is how to kick start that traffic, how do get that traffic flowing anywhere you want, basically, so that you can validate. You can get all of the … If you have all of these things in place prior, right? The creation, verification, and then you’re ready to validate and solidify and work into the endgame which is ART. The art of ART, then there’s absolutely no better way because you’re paying the great validator, the great solidifier which is Google.

Fuck Google, by the way, but that’s what you’re doing and there’s nothing better. For anyone who wants to watch those, guys I have the rotary club the [inaudible 00:11:18] valley, it’s in Washington state right? The rotary club of [inaudible 00:11:29] valley is matching any donation, 50 dollars or more, which is incredible. They’re willing to match anyone donating 50 or more will get a match, and then anyone donating 500 now because it used to be 1,000, but 500 gets two hours of my time.

Of course, anyone who’s willing to donate that 5K you get business in the box from me. What I talked about on Monday, we will do all of that so you can just pop that right in, in whatever niche you want. Now, local niche or whatever, affiliate, whatever it is that you want to do and we’ll get that puppy going and it’s … I think you can’t get a better offer than that, so there you go. Thanks everyone who donated. Guys we’re killing it. We have enough to send about 40 kids, well 50 now. 50 kids to school this year, which is fantastic.

Adam: Awesome, awesome. Yeah, thanks to everybody who donated throughout the webinars and then this is a pretty awesome offer so thank you Marco. Alright, I think that’s going to do it as far as what we’ve got to cover. Real quick just want to remind people we do have, ooh, no it is going. I just about stuck my foot in my mouth, but the flash sale I believe is still going on at MGYB.CO for [dunfee 00:12:51] services, we’ve got a deal on press releases as well as syndication networks. I’ll put that on the page. If you’re watching the replay, I’m sorry, but you’re probably not going to get it unless you get to it real quick after Hump Day Hangouts. But with that said, let’s get into it.

Do You Use Vumber Or CallFire And Reroute Those Calls To AnswerConnect Service For Your Lead Gen Properties?

Bradley: Okay, I guess I’ll have to stop looking at other stuff [inaudible 00:13:11] screen. Alright, here we go. Not a whole lot yet. Guys, I hope you start engaging here soon or we could just long wind all these answers. Will’s up first, he says, “Bradley do you use Vumber or Call Fires virtual numbers and then reroute those calls to your answer connect service to provide support to your lead gen properties?”

Yes, Will, that’s what I do and just to be clear I’m using Call Rail right now. I mean, I’ve got dozens and dozens of phone numbers with Call Fire but call rail is a much, much better platform guys. I talked about Vumber too, if you were just doing a handful of numbers or a couple of assets or something like that then Vumber is a pretty cool, it’s a great service actually. But if you’re going to be doing at scale, which is what we’ve been preaching for the last few months ala the local lease pro method, then I would highly recommend that you go with Call Rail as your virtual phone number provider.

There’s a ton of really, really good features in there. Not that you need them all, but I’m just saying there’s a lot of really cool stuff that you can do. They call, call workflows or something like that, is what they’re called where you can set up automations and all kinds of really cool stuff. It’s just like a drag and drop workflow or automation builder. There’s just a ton of really cool things that you can do there. It’s inexpensive. I just really, really like the platform.

But, yes, I’m rerouting, and by the way, I know I mentioned this at some point. But I thought Call Rail had a live answering service too, like AnswerConnect, but they don’t. I researched that because just last week, or it might’ve been two weeks ago now, I had to set up a new account because one of my location clusters has started to generate calls consistently and I had the phone, the virtual phone numbers just forwarded to the contractor directly.

He contacted me, he’s like, “I’m getting hammered with spam calls.” He was getting some valid leads too, but he was also getting hammered by Home Advisor, a ton of marketing companies and all that shit because there was a whole bunch of new GMB assets. They were all funneling, were all redirecting the phone to him. Guys I’ve talked about this many times on Hump Day Hangouts, but I’m telling you if you’re doing lead generation guys, one of the things that’s going to separate you from potential competitors is if you set up … Well, it depends on the industries you’re dealing with.

But I’m talking about for contractors, or really for any industry for that matter, unless if you’re redirecting the phone calls directly to your client or your service provider. Unless they have a receptionist, somebody that’s going to answer the phone, like that’s their job to answer the phone, then I would recommend you don’t send calls directly to them and instead set up a call service, a call center, an answering service. Does that make sense?

The reason why I’m saying that is because, guys, over the years every time I’ve created lead gen assets and then forwarded the calls directly to the provider, in my case contractors, I ended up losing … Well, first it would piss the contractor off because they would have to field all those spam calls which were solicitations from marketing services mainly. That would piss them off, number one, because it would be a shit ton of wasted effort on answering calls.

Number two, a lot of those contractors will, you know my service providers which are contractors, are working contractors. In other words, they may be the business owners but they also work out in the field with their tools where they manage projects or whatever, and so a lot of the times they wouldn’t be available to answer the phone. If they wouldn’t answer the phone, that’s a lots lead, especially if I was charging on a pay per lead basis, or on a revenue share model because calls that don’t get answered are leads that are wasted.

They go out into oblivion and that’s money that I lost. Then, lastly, even if they did answer the phone, like even the contractor answered the phone most of the time, what happens is because of the solicitation calls and the barrage of calls that come in, they would eventually stop answering the call and screen them because of that. What I ended up doing with tree service companies way back in 2012 was I got hooked up with Answer Connect. Answerconnect.com, I get no credit for that guys, it’s just a really good service for me to mention it.

I got hooked up with them and set up a call center and the call center answers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It’s always available, so every time somebody calls one of my lead gen sites for tree services, it gets answered no matter what time of day or night it is. It’s a live person answering the phone that asks a very shot call script asking what the callers calling about and then some basic contact information, the property address, that kind of stuff. Then they forward that, as soon as the call is done … Well, it depends on the arrangement I have with the particular contractor.

But the vast majority of them, as soon as the call is done, the call gets … The data, the lead data gets forwarded or sent to the contractor via email as well as text message. It goes directly to their phone and I get an email copy of it, so I get an email of the lead and then I set up a Zapier for each client so that it will, because it goes to my email. Zapier will grab, I set up a filter that says, “If an email comes in from this address or with this subject like,” or whatever it is that I use to identify which email it is, “Then send it to a spreadsheet.”

A Google sheet. What I do, is I end up having, like this is all automated, and then once a month, or once every two weeks, or once a week depending on what the frequency is that I go over leads with potential service providers, I’ve got a spread sheet there that shows all of the leads and it’s real simple for me to just open up and look at it. Anyways, like I said, I thought answering … I thought, excuse me, Call Rail had an answering service but it does not. Answer Connect is still my go-to source and I just set up another account, like I said, last week or maybe two weeks ago now for one of our location clusters that’s generating now.

What I’m saying, guys, is that’s going to differentiate you from other lead gen provides. Is, first of all, exclusivity of leads, right, that’s something I’ll always pitch to a potential service provider or a prospect. I say, “Look, any lead that I generate is going to go 100% exclusively to you. That means I’m not selling it to three to five other contractors.” That’s what Home Advisor does guys. Home Advisor sells leads to multiple contractors so it’s a race to the lowest price point.

In other words, all the contractors will show up at a damn residence, sometimes at the same time. I know because I’ve gotten a lot of tree service clients that way, guys. They would literally … A tree company would be pulling into a driveway and another tree company would be pulling out, you know what I mean, because Home Advisor sold that same lead to as many as five different contractors that I’ve been able to verify. All those contractors end up bidding for that job and they lowered their price so it’s a race to see who can bid the lowest to get the job.

That sucks, nobody wants that. Contractors don’t want to have to get in a bidding war with other contractors to get a job. Exclusivity of leads, that’s huge, number one. Number two, if you offer a call center then that means the only time that your service provider is going to get notification is when it’s a valid qualified lead. How do you know it’s qualified? Because it went through the screening process that the answering service provides.

Don’t get me wrong, some of my contractors still get … Like for example, Yelp, absolutely relentless. Yelp will call over, and over, and over again. Three times a week. Different Yelp representatives to the same lead gen asset saying, “We’re the new Yelp rep and we’re just calling to …” It’s always to sell advertising services and so they’ll still leave a message and that message will get transmitted to the service provider and I’ll get a copy of it too.

But I understand that, that’s going to happen from time to time. What I’m saying is, though, the notifications only get sent when the caller has completed the call with the answering service and filled out, answered the required amount of questions, okay. Obviously, like a Yelp call wouldn’t be a billable call, but valid lead data would. That’s huge because that prevents the contractor from having to answer the phone. It prevents spam calls from ever reaching them and it also, it ends up being to where they just get the lead information when it’s convenient for them, they can call back.

Obviously, I recommend they do it as soon as they get the information but that way they can still manage their projects or have their tools on and they’re still getting the lead. Whereas before, the lead would just go off into the ether, into oblivion, and we’d lose the lead. When I implemented that Will, with my tree service stuff, and this was way back when I was still kind of, you know had a fledgling business at the time. I was hesitant at the time to pay for the answer connect service because, I think, when I started out I started with like a 300 dollar a month plan.

Which allows a certain amount of minutes and blah, blah, blah. At the time, when I was new to this, 300 dollars a month was painful for me to give up. I didn’t want to commit to 300. There’s not a contract, it’s just month to month, but I didn’t want to commit to 300 dollars a month when I was barely making money at that time. You know what I’m saying? I mean, I was making money, but still 300 dollars a month was a big commitment for me at the time. But what was interesting is as soon as I implemented that, my revenue went up 30%.

My net revenue went up 30%. That means even after subtracting the expense of the call center, and it was because now a lot of calls that were getting missed before were not being answered and the leads would end up, they got followed up on by my contractors which ended up, a percentage of them closed in the jobs. My revenue went, minus the … And I don’t remember if it was really 300 dollars a month or whatever guys, but whatever the expense was at that time I ended up having a 30% net increase in revenue on a monthly basis because of that.

Ever since then, that has been how I developed my lead gen business. Is I always provide just, or I always set up call centers. When I have assets that start producing consistently. Like, initially I might have the calls directed to directly to a service provider or even to just a voice mail while I’m optimizing or getting the asset to produce. Once it starts producing fairly consistently, then I’ll set up a call center for that so that we have somebody actually answering the phone and then that’s when I’ll pitch that service to monetize it to potential service providers. Okay.

That was a great question and I appreciate you asking that because I get that question a lot, even from more experienced members and our Mastermind. I’m telling you guys, I know a lot of people do lead gen and just forward them directly to the contractor, but trust me, especially if you have multiple locations that you’re all forwarding to the same number, every one of those locations is another spam point. Another solicitation target or magnet, I should say. Another solicitation magnet.

If you’ve got 6, or 8, or 10 locations in a metro area that you’re forwarding all to one company, they’re going to get barraged. Like, literally hammered with solicitation calls guys and you’re going to piss them off. They’re not going to want your services anymore, so again, I would recommend that you do that. Set up, guys, it will make … You can charge a premium for those leads because they’re exclusive, and because they’re all pre-screened leads. The call center being the pre-screener. It was a great question though, Will. I appreciate that question.

How Verify A GMB If It’s An Online Business in a Service Area Market?

Elena, “I’m working on a niche that is considered a service area business. However, we are collecting leads of consumers that are seeking this type of service via a website that captures their personal info, sort of like a lead gen site.” Okay. “When trying to verify the GMB I’m getting pushback from Google saying that this type of business doesn’t meet the guidelines for verification being that this is an online business that doesn’t meet customers at their locations or we visit customers at their place of business. Do you have any recommendations on how to get a GMB verified when the business happens to be an online business and a service area market?”

“According to the LLP or Local Lease Pro training, we only need an NAP and the requirement that this be for a surface area business to get the GMB verified. In other words, wait until the GMB is verified and then pile it up with all the custom optimization we talked about in training.” Okay, I’m not real sure what the … The first question, the primary question is: can you get GMB assets set up for that type of business? I don’t know because I’ve never done that. However, like I’m not sure what … Exactly what type of business you’re talking about so I don’t know.

I’ve never experienced that sort of a warning or restriction, or whatever, from Google because I’ve never tried to set something like that up. However, I may not be correct about this so Marco please feel free to interject, but our GMB verification service could likely get that for you. Am I right Marco?

Marco: Yeah. Well, what do you call it, if it’s available. If it’s in one of the categories, or any of the categories in Google My Business approximates whatever it is that you’re doing, we can get it. We can get it. Except if it’s one of those, here, we just can’t do a 24 hour locksmith. We can’t verify that, period. Some of them are more difficult so you will be charged more for that service simply because it might be just a small area or it’s one of those that Google police’s really closely so it takes a lot more work to get it verified.

But if it’s in there and it’s not one of the categories that’s just absolutely no way that it can be verified, yeah we can verify it.

Bradley: Yeah, so I mean, there you go Elena. Like, honestly, I don’t try to verify my own listings anymore because we have a service that does it. I don’t even know how it’s being done. I honestly don’t care. I just want the result so that’s why I’m suggesting that potentially is because … Now here’s something else you may want to try if you’re trying to do this on your own. I don’t know that this will work either, but perhaps try to create the GMB listing under a different category and then once you have it confirmed, or verified, then update the category to whatever your real category is.

That might be something that you could do. It could just be because of whatever category you’re trying to set it up to create the listing under is a category that Google doesn’t like based upon whatever it is that you’re trying to do. Again, I don’t know that, that’s going to correct it, but what I’m saying is try it. If you’re adamant about doing this on your own then try it and see if you could verify it under a different category type and then once it’s confirmed or verified then go in and change it.

It may, I don’t know that it would. My experience with after verifying a profile is that you can do a lot of changes to it now without it triggering a reverification. Now I’m not, again, don’t quote me on that. I’m not saying that it won’t trigger a reverification, I’m just saying that I have been able to make some pretty drastic changes to GMB assets recently and they didn’t trigger a reverification. That might be something you want to try as well. As a last resort, like I said, contact us. See if we can do it.

How Do You Track And Delegate Tasks For Your Virtual Assistants?

We might be able to get it done for you too. I guess it just depends on what the category is, that your category. Then, once again, we may very well be able to get it under a different category and then just change the category once verified. Okay. Alright, moving on. Frankie. What’s up Frankie? He says, “What’s up guys? Much love from you guys from Miami Beach.” He’s down there where it’s warm. “My question is: when hiring VA’s how do you keep track of their hours? I’m in the midst of hiring VA 40 hour a week and curious of how you guys do the billing and tracking in the event that you don’t keep track of their hours, Time Doctor, et cetera, then how do you make sure they are working full time and not BS-ing half the time?”

Okay, so that’s a really good question Frankie. There are some really good time tracking apps like what you’re talking about. Time Doctor’s one, another one Chris P. one of my partners mentioned. I haven’t used it though, it’s called Hub Staff I think. Hubstaff.com, maybe. You can look it up. But, yeah, something like that is a great way to do it. Especially to start with, guys. Now, I typically don’t monitor my VA’s like that because I work very closely with the VA’s that I train initially because, especially now, because I’m teaching my VA’s more complex procedures so they’re working a lot more in direct contact with me on a daily basis.

At least initially while they’re getting trained. Then, because I’m familiar with the … Because usually, I create all the process docs that I train my … Process docs and training videos that I train my VA’s with. It’s usually directly from me and so I understand about what, how long it takes to complete the task that I’m giving to them because I’ve done it myself in order to create the training. Obviously I give them leeway up front while they’re going through the training and learning the procedure.

I give them leeway, in other words I allow them a lot more time than what it takes me. But then after training, which for us Semantic mastery, whenever we hire a VA full time they go on salary. But we pay them 75% of their salary for the 30 days because they’re in training. Then, provided that they’ve … And that’s also a probationary period. At the end of that 30 days, if they performed well and I was satisfied with their work and that kind of stuff, then they go up to their full salary.

Then typically by then I just assign them tasks and if the tasks, if the tasks aren’t being completed in a timely manner then I’ll question what they’re doing and if they can’t give me a good reason or a believable reason as to what’s taking them so long, like present me with some problems they’re running into. Process issues or software, or application issues, or whatever the case may be. If they can’t present me with something that’s believable and a valid excuse, then that’s when they go on probation again, or they’ll potentially at that point I would add them to a time tracking app.

Or they’d just flat out get fired if I catch them in a lie, or whatever. Yeah, that happens from time to time, but personally, for the teams that I manage, I typically do not track using time tracking software. I did when I first got started guys but I’ve gotten really proficient at managing VA’s so I don’t really see that, for me personally, necessary. But, again, I do recommend especially if you’re just starting to outsource guys that you use something like a time tracking app. Time Doctor’s a good one.

Marco: I can tell you how it’s being done in MGYB.CO because we’ve got a bunch of them. It’s not mandatory for them to be on from 10:00 p.m. to midnight their time, which makes it convene in eastern time, in my time, so that we can communicate. We need to know the tasks, what they’re up to, what they’re doing, what they’ve done. Any problems, anything because they’re constantly going to MGYB fulfilling. There’s a lot of client involvement, Rosale needs to know, Justin needs to know, Chris needs.

There’s a whole lot of communication that takes place that Rob and I, or Rob or I need to see. Then we also have a project manager, she’s the one that’s just hands-on, just moving all of the pieces around so that now Rob and I only get the higher level stuff that can’t be solved by our project manager. When they come on, they go on 90 days probation and they have to know that they’re going to get, as Bradley says, 75% while they’re training.

After the first 30 days they go into their full salary, but they’re still on probation.

Bradley: Yes, correct.

Marco: They’re being tracked. We have Work Snaps, it’s called, worksnaps.net which works really well because they have to be there to click and take that screen grab. They have to be there, they have to be present at the computer, and then we’ll know what it is that they’re doing. Now, after the probationary period what happens is then they go on a split shift. Which means six hours they have to work whenever they want, as long as they clear it with the project manager.

But they have to work the six hours. Once we know that we can trust them and we can give them enough work and you’re right about that. You have to give them enough work that you know it’s going to fill up their time, and so we know we’re doing that. We have the project manager that’s on top of everything during the day in the Philippines especially. She’s giving them assignments and if there’s anything going on then we have the reports. I mean, we just have a whole system in place so that we track whether our VA’s now are being as productive as possible.

Now here’s another thing. If you have a rockstar that’s producing whatever it is that you need produced and you’re making a whole bunch of money with that VA’s help, then is it work tracking that VA? I would say, “Hell no.” I mean, by all means, do whatever the fuck you want to do and keep making me money. Where you run into issues is if you’re not getting the work you expect completed. If you are and it’s just superstar work and that’s your rockstar, that’s your future team manager, team lead, project lead.

Whatever the hell you want to make that VA, that’s where that comes from because then they know your business, they know what you’re doing, and they can train other people for you. That’s how we do it at MGYB. We always promote from within whenever possible and pay them well Frankie. Give them raises. Praise them, praise them. Say, “You guys rock. You guys are the best. You’re doing great work,” because I mean, who … Think about how badly many of these people are treated.

Just a kind word is going to get them to just totally loyal and just totally working for you the way that they’re supposed to.

Bradley: Yeah, I just want to … I’m pulling something up just quickly because I’m not going to share … I mean, I’m not going to read this and stuff to you guys but, damnit, come on. This is one of my VA’s Hazel here. She’s on my GMB team and here you see this long post she just sent, guys. That was just a couple of weeks ago now and anyways, just the Readers Digest version of that post that she sent me in Slack was, she was just saying how appreciative she is of the fact that she gets to work from home.

She’s in the Philippines and she lives in a rural town, and in that post she was talking about how appreciative she is of the fact that she’s able to work from home and provide for her family. She’s been working with me for three years now. Again, I’ve only got two people on my GMB asset building team right now. Joe and Hazel, and they’re both rockstars. Anyway Hazel posted that to tell me how appreciative she is of the fact that she gets to work from home because most of the jobs, economic opportunities in the Philippines are centered around the cities.

That makes sense, there’s a lot of that in the United States too. Most of the jobs and everything are available in the cities and in the rural areas there’s very little work and so there’s a lot of poverty. There’s not very much opportunities. She said she was basically asking, she’s a very ambitious girl, which is great. I love it when a VA has ambitions to climb the ladder because think about it. We’ve got a lot of VA’s that all they want to do is show up to work every day, be told what to do, and go home and collect their checks.

That’s perfectly fine, those are very valuable assets as well. But every now and then you’ll get a VA that wants to grow their business, and wants to expand, increase their knowledge and take on more responsibility. What she did is she posted and said, “Hey, look, I want to create my own company in the Philippines and offer a virtual staffing service.” She wants to create a company and provide job opportunities to people that live in her rural town because they can work remotely, and because of Semantic Mastery and all the stuff we’re building with MGYB and everything that we do for our own businesses guys we’re turning into processes.

Outsourcing it, so first of all, we don’t have to do it anymore, but then second of all so that we can also provide you guys with the same services that we use for our own businesses. She basically reached out and said, “Look, I’d like to create my own company and hire virtual assistants right here in my local town to where they show up to an office space.” She’s going to start it in her own. She’s got an extra room in her home. She’s going to start it there and then as it grows she wants to move into an office space.

She was saying because we can provide … Because of her job with us, Semantic mastery, she knows that there’s opportunities for other people in her town that don’t have much opportunity to also work. She says she’s had a lot of family and friends ask her like, “Hey, is there any opportunity to work the company that yo work for?” That’s why she reached out to say, “Is there any opportunity for expansion, if so, I can provide the workers for you.” I was so proud of her and I sent her a message and we ended up having a Skype … Excuse me, a Slack chat appointment or meeting earlier this week on Monday to discuss.

It worked out. I’m so proud of her because she’s not only been really good VA anyways, but because she wants to grow and she wants to provide opportunity to people in her area. For us as a company, it’s a great … It’s very promising because I found that me personally managing VA’s other than when I’m working with them really closely like I am right now. When it comes to managing a team, that’s more difficult to do remotely in my opinion.

At least for me it is. I’m not the best manager in the world, okay, but having a team that she can manage in person. Be in the same room with them to help with any issues, to help with training, all that stuff to also just monitor their activity, that’s a much better way to manage a team. Especially, at least, initially in my opinion. She’ll be able to handle the management aspects that I would typically be doing as remotely. She’ll be able to do that in person.

Anyways, we’re pursuing it with her and I think it’s just really, really great. That’s what, guys when you have VA’s that are good VA’s and you’re going to have some that are good, and you’re going to have some that are bad. The ones that are good, make sure, do exactly what Marco just mentioned and that’s treat them well. Give them raises, praise them often. Encourage them because that will help them to become better workers for you and it will improve the quality of their life too.

Absolutely do that, guys. We’ve gotten, I mean, we’ve got VA’s that have been working for us for years. I mean, I’ve got stories I told at the POFU Live event about VA’s and some of the messages or letters that I’ve received from VA’s that are talking about how much it’s improved their quality of life and blah, blah, blah. The opportunities it’s provided for their family and that kind of stuff, guys. We really are doing a service. All of us. We’re all entrepreneurs, so we’re providing a service and enriching other people’s lives when we do that, when we offer jobs.

Marco: Talking about a VA getting to POFU, [Dedia 00:41:41] attended POFU Live.

Bradley: Yup. Dedia’s our link building manager and has been for … Well, he doesn’t work for us anymore. He’s not on salary, he’s a contractor. He owns his own company now, which is amazing. He’s one of my favorite stories of all time. He came to work for me. He had a full time job and he was working as a freelancer on UpWork as part time, like moonlighting, doing link building. We’re talking five or six years ago now. I hired him part time, and then over time my workload increased.

I kept giving him more and more work and eventually he approached me and asked me, “Hey, would you hire me full time so I can quit my job and work from home?” At the time, I wasn’t ready to pay a link builder full time but I did it anyways because I had a really good feeling about Dedia. He was just great to work with and blah, blah, blah. I did. I said, “Okay, yeah.” Even though, like I said, it was painful for me at the time, I gave him a full time job and within just a couple of years when we opened up Semantic Mastery and then we started selling links on our own first.

Then we went to search space and so on and so forth, he ended up growing his own company and bought a house, and not even on salary with us anymore because he’s a contractor and his business is thriving. He came to the POFU Live event all the way from India. I mean, that’s crazy guys. Like, it’s just amazing, and some of the stories that he’s told about over the years is just great. You guys, it really is important. As business owners we offer opportunities. We hire people first to help us, right, but at the same time it’s to help them and to help their families and everybody around them as well.

It’s a great question Frankie, thank you for that. Quint [inaudible 00:43:23] says, “Good day gents, I noticed GMB they’re encouraging … Excuse me. They’re encouraging you to run ads. When you run ads can you make the GMB the landing page?” Yes you can, however I would recommend that do not use the ads service that they prompt you with inside of GMB because that’s the Google My Business, or the Google Ad express service which gives you like, literally, no control over the ads.

Google does everything for you and I don’t recommend that. Now, I haven’t tested that. Again, the Google Ads platform has improved leaps and bounds over the last year, year and a half. The Google express ads may very well be a lot better, but several years ago when I tested the Google express ads they sucked, they were terrible. I could manage an ads campaign manually way better and get much, much better results than I could from the Google Ads express platform.

I just, again, I haven’t tested any of that in at least two years now, guys. It may be very much better but I highly recommend that you would manually manage your campaign instead of letting Google do everything for you. Google will spend your money rather quickly if you let them. Okay. But, yeah, you can use the GMB website as your landing page. Guys, you can use a damn Google doc as the desk …

Marco: No, no, no, no, no, no.

Bradley: What do you mean, “No, no, no?”

Marco: Don’t give that away.

Bradley: Why not?

Marco: Because that’s in [inaudible 00:44:52] academy reloading.

Bradley: So what? You can use a YouTube link, you can use any link for an ad basically, as long as it meets the compliance regulations. Which is actually funny because in that case there wouldn’t even be a privacy policy. What I’m saying is, Google doesn’t really care what you’re directing traffic to as long as it has the recommended or whatever, the required stuff. When it’s the landing page, like a self-hosted landing page, they want contact information, privacy policy, terms of service. That kind of stuff.

At least links that lead to that and a way to contact. But you can go to a YouTube video, for example. You can go to a Google doc. A GMB website, a maps listing. You can even add your just GMB map share URL in there. Okay. Keep in mind though, if you’re doing that, the only reason why I wouldn’t want to do that guys is because, and I’ve thought about this, too, recently is you can’t add remarketing to a GMB website, for example.

You can’t add a remarketing pixel or even the Google Maps page itself. The profile itself, you can’t add so it’s very difficult, and how do you track conversions on that too? Think about that. I mean, obviously if you have a tracking phone number, if somebody calls you could always look at your call reports and that would be considered a conversion but it’s not going to track as a conversion. Well, I guess if you added the number at like through call only ads and stuff you can probably do that.

What I’m saying is, think about, there’s reasons why I don’t recommend running adds directly to a GMB website. Not like search ads, I mean, because it’s awfully expensive. YouTube ads, yes. Display ads, yes, because you can get those a lot cheaper. Remarketing ads even, but for like straight cold traffic search ads, I would not recommend pointing them directly to a GMB asset because that’s, there’s no way to really track that and you could end up spending a lot of money on it. It’s just too expensive to do it in my opinion.

From search ads, I mean. Okay. But yes, you can absolutely link to that. Alright Jim’s up, he says, “Hello gents, I just realized today’s the 16th.” Marco did you answer this one for him?

Marco: Sorry, I was muted.

Adam: Yeah, I think the beginning of the webinar answered that so if you missed it just check out the very beginning and check out Marco’s link right below your comments here. Actually right above it.

Bradley: There you go. Okay, “Where should I subscribe to the emails again?” Okay, there you go. You answered that. Wow, we’re almost out of time. Well, we can wrap it up early guys. Elena says, “Do you have a valid discount coupon that I could use for GMB verification then? Thank you.” I’m not sure what you’re asking for Elena. If we don’t have a sale going on right now, then no.

Marco: No, we don’t have a coupon right now.

Are You Offering VA Connections?

Bradley: Well, then no. Sorry, Elena. We may run a sale again soon and when we do you can wait until then if you’d like. Okay, John’s up. He says, “Are you guys offering VA connections?” Ooh. John, in the Mastermind possibly. Adam, you want to chat about that?

Adam: Yeah, definitely. We brought that up and we were definitely looking. We hooked up a couple people who were interested and I guess now’s a good time to see if anybody listening, you’ve heard us talk about VA’s. Most of the people who subscribe and listen to Semantic Mastery understand that, that’s a great way to offload a lot of your work so you can grow in scale. We can answer questions about how to use VA’s effectively how to manage them and make sure you get the good ones. We also, of course, offer training on how to do that at more of an advanced level.

We realize that some people going through that process of finding those good VA’s and connecting with them is a problem. It can take a lot of time and since we do it at scale we talked to some Mastermind members about that. They took us up on the offer and so I’m just curious if anyone is watching or you’re checking this out on the replay, let us know, because if there’s enough people out there who think this is a valuable service will be willing to set this up where we’ll even crank up our volume a little bit, do the hard work for you on the back end, and then do something like connect you with two VA’s you can interview and either take both or take the best one for some set fee.

Now probably, I’ve got this written down somewhere just for my own time, but that would save you at least several hours of work and depending on what tools you use potentially a couple hundred bucks.

Bradley: Yeah. Yeah, and I’ve been doing Mastermind calls for the last two weeks now. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays I do two half an hour calls per day with just Mastermind members that have scheduled with me. One of, almost unanimously. I’m not going to call anybody out by name. But almost unanimously, everybody I’ve spoken to said that one of the things they know they need to do more of is outsource. Many people have been, have avoided it because they have either been burned by hiring shitty outsources in the past, or they just don’t want to put all the time and effort into setting up hiring funnels and going through that whole process of screening applicants and everything else.

Which is what we teach in Outsource Kingpin, it’s the exact same method that we use, guys. We’ve put the time in to do all that though and I understand why people don’t want to do it. My only poin to that is if you do stuff in your business over, and over, and over again all the time, that takes time like client reports. Whatever, repetitive tasks in your business that you do over, and over, and over again but you don’t want to put the work in to hiring the outsourcer, it doesn’t make sense to me because you have to repeat that process again. Over and over again every single time.

Again, I’m just going to use client reports as an example and, guys, I outsource stuff for years and I still did my own client reports until January of 2018, so a year ago is when I finally outsourced my client reports. What I’m saying is the reason why is because in order to generate the client reports the way that I had always done it, I knew it was going to take me two or three days of, literally, two to three days of recording the process for how to do it because I’ve got different types of reports go to different clients.

That may be my own fault, I probably should’ve made everything universal or templatized, or whatever. But, it is what it is, and so I had to spend a couple days and I never wanted to do it. It took me a day to do client reports every month. It would take me a full day to do client reports every single month, and sometimes depending on if I was distracted throughout that process, it would take me a day and a half because other things would come up or whatever. A day to a day and a half every single month and I just, I hated it.

But I never wanted to take two to three days to complete all the process training to train somebody else to do it. Well finally I got smart and I finally did that, and last year in January I outsourced that and, yeah, it was painful because it took me almost three days to complete all the processes but now I get, every single month, I get an entire day back. Well, let me rephrase that. Now I have a VA that generates all the reports, consolidates them into one sheet text file, and then she sends it to me. Then I have all the reports and everything available to me right there in the notepad file and I can just copy and paste into an email to my clients.

Then I always inject my commentary. Sometimes it’s via video email where I’m going over the reports and I talk about where progress was made, where I found new opportunities. Perhaps where some things went wrong, that kind of stuff. I often send an email, a video email along with the reports or I’ll just send some text. Like, “Here’s your local rank report. Here’s key takeaways. Here’s your citation report, key takeaways. Analytics report, search console report.” Those kind of things. Again, something like that guys, it takes forever to create a process to do it and I understand why people avoid it.

I’ve done that stuff. Like, “I don’t feel like doing a process. Well, it’d just be quicker for me to do it. Just be quicker if I did it.” But the problem is that time comes around again a month later or a week later, two weeks. Whatever it is. It comes around again and then you’re back in the same boat again. You have to do it again and, “I could develop a process or I could just get it done now and it’d be much faster if I just do it myself.” You guys get what I’m saying.

That’s why, again, the Mastermind calls almost unanimously everybody that I’ve talked to have said, “I know I need to do more outsourcing but I just don’t have the time,” or, “I don’t want to put in the work,” and blah, blah, blah. We realized that there was an opportunity there for VA matching service. In other words, we do all the application screening and all that stuff, put them through a series of tests to make sure that they can follow instructions and all that stuff.

Finally, the ones that end all the way through our funnel system, those are good candidates that are ready to be interviewed. That’s something that, again, speaking with the Mastermind members that I’ve been speaking with on the phone over the last week and a half now, or almost two weeks, is like I’ve said. I’ve told them about that and I think there’s a real opportunity for VA matching service just within our own Mastermind but potentially externally, too, for our other audience members. Very cool. It’s a great offer … Adam, I’m pretty sure that’s something we’ll end up proceeding with.

Alright, “Did I miss Adam talking about having VA’s trained that are ready to be hired, please say yes.” Well not necessarily trained yet, although we are talking about doing that. Right now we were just talking about the VA matching service. Like prescreening and all that kind of stuff to where that we know they’re qualified and then it would be up to you to interview and then train them and all that stuff. However, there’s potentially, we are discussing maybe in the future also providing fully done for you trained VA’s.

In other words, we hire them, we put them through our training processes and then make them available to you once they’re fully trained. Literally turn key, they’re ready to go to work. If that makes sense. That’s something that we’re talking about but that’s not anything that’s going to happen right away, guys, I can tell you that.

How Do You An LED Controllable Lights As A Drummer-Influencer In Charleston, South Carolina?

Alright, Quinten says, “Hey, love guys. I’m a drummer/singer living in Charleston, South Carolina. I just got sponsored by a drum light company. Basically, put they specialize in LED controllable lights. The company is called Galaxy Lights. They hired me as an influencer for their brand.”

That’s awesome man. That’s really cool. “I’m going to do drum videos promoting their lights. What’s my best angle to get their product seen? Should I run ads for drummers specifically? Is there a better way?” That’s a really good question.

Hernan: Love that.

Bradley: Hernan you’re the paid traffic expert, what do you say?

Hernan: Yeah, I’m rereading the question. LED controllable lights, as an influencer. Yeah, like what you could do. The fact that you are doing this, it makes a lot of sense because there’s a niche that it’s like really, really sexy. You know what I’m saying? You can actually put out a lot of valuable content. You can put out a lot of valuable content like how to use those LED lights and whatnot, and maybe just film yourself drumming and whatnot, playing the drums and doing that type of stuff. Then you can retarget those people with an offer.

That’s easily done by, with Facebook for instance.

Bradley: You can do it on YouTube too.

Hernan: Yeah, you can do this on YouTube, too. 100%, you can do video SEO like try to rank your YouTube videos but I’ve been doing it on Facebook a lot and it works really well. In terms of getting their product out, if you want to put some money behind your videos that would be faster. If not, you can just try to rank them on YouTube. But, yeah, in terms of the actual targeting that you could do, for instance, on Facebook. You can target specific, like you can target specific brands that are for drummers only.

For instance you can target Yamaha, for instance as a drums brand. But the problem with that, is that a lot of people will like Yamaha. You know what I’m saying? You can go out there and try to find these boutique brands like Tama or CPN or Paste. Those type of brands that would be related to drummers only and people will like … People that like those brands will be drummers. You know what I’m saying?

Cymbals type of brands and whatnot, then Bradley’s doing something that is great, which is drumming, drummers magazines and forums, and all that stuff. That will give you some idea of what to target, who to target on your videos and what kind of chatting is around that. That’s what I would do.

Bradley: Yeah, and that’s why I pulled this up because like this is a website here and just go to Google and search drummer blogs. That’s what I just did, and here’s one from Feed Spot which is the top 50 drum and percussionist websites out there. Right there’s a placement list. In other words, if you understand Google Ads … Well, I’m saying Google Ads.

Hernan’s the Facebook guy. I don’t even run Facebook ads, I don’t know how. But I do Google Ads and that would be, right there is a placement list. In other words, just scrape all those domains and this just 50 here but I’m sure you can do some research and build a really good placement list of drumming publications, and websites, and blogs and things like that, that you can specifically place your ads on those.

That’s called a placement list. You could also do audience targeting if you can find, there probably is. I haven’t done anything in the music niche, but there probably is a sub category within the musician targeting categories that for drummers and percussionist. You could use Google’s audience targeting that way. You could also do topic targeting by adding, well selecting a topic and then adding keywords as an additional layer.

That’s something else that you could do, and then YouTube marketing. I know for sure that YouTube has got a lot of music type videos and stuff like that on that so you could actually target via placements just like you would here. Create a placement list for YouTube videos that are known videos with a lot of traffic around drumming and percussionism and stuff like that.

Also, you could do topic targeting and audience targeting there as well as remarketing and all that stuff. Yeah, there’s a lot of options there for paid traffic guys. A lot of options.

Hernan: Yup.

Bradley: Alright guys we need to wrap it up. Okay, cool no more questions. Beautiful. Right on time too. 5:00 on the money. That happens rarely, so everybody we appreciate you all being here. Mastermind webinar next week, not this week. Anything else we got to do this week guys? We’re good.

Adam: Sorry, if you’re not a part of the Facebook group. Go join, we’re going to have a great webinar coming up on Monday with Catherine Jones of CF design school and she’s gong to be talking about building seven figure funnels.

Bradley: Awesome, sweet. Cool. Alright everybody, we’ll see you all next week. Thanks everyone.

Marco: Bye everyone.

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