#i just need to figure out where it came from cause ive had it for some years now

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[picorimori]

I have to submit a project proposal for class. Do you think if I suggest programming Monopoly in Java people will be like “cool ning youll get a good enough grade for submitting your idea but that fuckibg sucks we’re not voting for that shit”?

[taesanluv3r]

forever muse

han taesan x reader

i needed to write something tht's target audience is me bcs ive been so so sad and need to feel better. friends to lovers <3 insecure and jealous taesan TT mentions of other idols as their classmates. cuss words, lowercase intended, ignore any spelling mistakes/grammatical errors! enjoyy :3

wc: 3,387

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"yn, this is crazy good! thank you so much"

kim leehan shoots yn ln a big smile, his hands holding onto a framed drawing of himself. it had been the kim boy's birthday and yn had gifted him one of her infamous hand-drawn portraits. it was a gift she gave to everyone on their special day, something she could whip up the night before and simply put inside of a wooden frame she picked up at her local art supply store. by the end of the year, almost every one of her classmates had received one. everyone except for her own best-friend, han taesan.

he doesn't understand why, watching with envious eyes as she stroked the loose ends of her hair behind her ear, grinning at the other guy's compliments. he couldn't help but notice the way the skin beside her lips dipped into dimples when she smiled, or the way her cheeks stained a shade of red darker than the cool-toned pink blush she had put on that day. a billion thoughts ran through his mind in that moment. it was his own birthday just two months ago, yet all he got from her was a card and a new sweater- which, granted, was the really nice sweater he'd been eyeing for a while and he was really thankful for it but still! couldn't she had taken the time out of her day to draw him the way she did others? was it cause he wasn't as pretty as the girls in their class? or maybe he just wasn't as handsome as leehan! or maybe she didn't care for him as much as he thought she did, maybe she just didn't want to waste her time and the ink of pen on him because maybe he just wasn't worth all of it and-

"taesan! you there?" the familiar female voice interrupts his rapid train of thoughts, his eyes widening slightly and his back straightening up. "huh? sorry, did you say something?" the boy asks and yn snickers, sitting down on her desk beside his. "no, don't worry about it. just wondering what you were zoning out about, that's all" he nods at her words, "it's nothing...i take it mister kim 'popular' leehan liked your little gift?" the obvious blush on her cheeks made his stomach turn, watching as she stared at the boy across the room from them. taesan rolled his eyes before she turned to look at him again. "i guess he did" yn smirked, a prideful look displayed against the features of her face. "well good for you" he replies, though his voice came off somewhat thicker and colder than it usually was. that, paired with the way he slammed his book shut and got up from his seat, left the girl confused by his sudden mood change.

"hey, where you going?" she asked, looking up curiously at his tall figure. he just shrugged, "i don't know, just gonna take a walk or something" the girl laughs, finding her friend's mysteriousness rather silly. "want me to come?" her eyebrows cocked up as she inquired, head tilted off slightly to the side. he shook his head, a single sentence escaping his pursed lips before he was out the door,

"i wanna be alone"

he disappeared into the distance, leaving his best-friend alone with the thoughts that began to swim into her brain. strange, she thought. the han taesan she knew was rarely ever this way- especially to her. sure, he looked mean and mysterious but even then he was never this cold. what's up with him?

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

the bell had gone off and their last period of the day had started, yet the desk beside yn's remained empty. taesan hadn't returned from his walk. it worried the girl a little, her mind coming up with a thousand scenarios, unable to focus on whatever piece of the great depression her history teacher was trying to teach to the group of seniors. the girl's gaze moved towards the window that was starting to get wet from the sudden droplets of rain that had fallen from the sky. hope he doesn't get caught in the rain...he might get sick, she thought, wherever he is...

as soon as the class ended, the girl stuffed all her belongings into her bag, not really caring for the creases that might fold onto her textbooks. as she's about to leave the classroom, a voice stops her. "yo, yn! me and some of the others are gonna head to the froyo place...come with?" leehan smiles cheerfully at her, his perfect hair and his perfect teeth complimenting his perfect face, but the girl shakes her head. "sorry, leehan, i have something important to do. have fun though! happy birthday, again- bye!" she didn't even give the boy enough time to process her words before she was running out the door.

the girl skips through the whole school building in the speed of light, her eyebrows knitted together when she can't find a single trace of her friend. yn stands on the steps at the back exit of the campus, groaning when she can't find an umbrella amidst the rain that began to grow heavier. she sighs, swinging her backpack over her head, deciding to make a run for it. her feet take her to the entrance of the art building that was separated from the main one of the academy, her make-shift backpack-umbrella proving to be useless as she spots her wet hair through the reflection on the glass doors. yn ln pushes on it, her damp shoes making contact with the white marble floors and she entered the cool building. if i can't find him here...where else would he be?

she begins to walk up the staircase, a sense of comfort engulfing her body at the familiar scent of her favourite area in the whole school. her fingers graze softly over the collection of canvases displayed on the walls, a smile making its way onto her lips when she spots a piece of art of her own. it's odd, but the girl seemed to have felt a presence when she arrived at the second floor, his presence.

the smell of acrylic paint mixed with melted hot-glue entered into her nostrils, causing her to wince at the intensity of the scent. a minute goes by and she finds herself entering the empty art room at the very end of the hall, it was the art room she self-proclaimed as her own, one that nobody apart from her ever really used. her hand presses softly against the door, a creaking noise alerting anyone that happened to be inside- though it was rare, she just knew he'd be in there. as expected, the girl walks in and is immediately met with his familiar figure sat on the floor. his head titled upwards to look out the window, his knees to his chest and his hands resting on them. yn sighs in relief when she noticed that despite the rain he remained completely dry, like he'd been here the entire time when she was worried he'd wandered off elsewhere.

"i've been looking for you...even got rained on" her voice is sweet, like she just knew he wouldn't be up for her usual enthusiasm. han taesan didn't look at her, paying her no mind as he continued to examine the droplets that pitter-pattered onto the glass windows from outside. this confused the girl, the same way he did when he abruptly got up and out of the classroom hours ago, the same way he did when his words came out so coldly earlier. "what's wrong with you today?" she asked, starting to get annoyed at her friend's ignorance. he scoffs, "today?" he repeated, eyebrows furrowing as he turned to look at her at last.

"what's wrong with me everyday?"

his words take her by surprise, as did the way his voice cracked and eyes watered slightly as he spoke. it's a sight she'd never seen before. never in the years they've been friends would she have ever imagined she'd see han taesan...cry.

"what...what are you talking about?" yn asked, the empathy in her heart threatening to escape as little tears through her eyes. "it's just...i feel like you don't care about me the way you do others!" the boy's voice is clearer now, almost louder and strict. she's about to say something, but he won't let her. not until he's done. "i mean, sure, i'm not as handsome and popular as leehan. sure, i'm not as smart and punctual as class president jungwon! and maybe i'm just not as cool as hanni and minji- or as funny as haruto-" yn tries to interfere, "what are you even saying-" but even then he doesn't let her. "but i mean, i'm your best-friend, right? i'm the guy you're closest to...so why? why does everyone except for me..." he trails off in frustration, eyes moving from the floor to the ceiling, anywhere that wasn't a direct view of her. of the girl who stared at him with intent, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"why does everyone get a drawing for their birthday and all i get is a sweater and a card?"

the minute those words entered into her ear, a feeling of shock coursed throughout her body. a look of absolute disbelief present on her complexion as she let's out an exasperated sigh. "you're kidding me...right?" taesan fully looks at her again, confused this time. "i'm not" his voice is stern and serious, making the girl realize the weight of the situation. her features soften, a small smile returning to her lips as she looked into his teary eyes and sweet pout.

"you're so stupid, taesan...of course i care about you! just as much- if not more than anyone else" yn says, a giggle escaping her mouth towards the very end of her sentence. "then how come you never draw me?!" he exclaims slightly, eyebrows knitting together. this time, she fully laughs at his dramatic expression. "are you kidding?!" she asks, the same intensity in her tone. yn sighs before getting up, she fixes the wrinkles on her skirt and stretches an arm out for him to grab. the boy sits still however, only staring at her with eyes that resembled a lost kitty. the girl rolls her eyes, "c'mon! i need to show you something" she sighs once more when he doesn't budge. "fine, stay there. i'll bring it to you"

his eyes trail off to follow her as she rummages through a drawer over on the other side of the art-room. the side he knew she spent most of her free-time sitting in, running her pens and pencils over sheets and sheets of paper. he stares curiously at her when she pulls out a familiar looking sketchbook. yn closes the drawer, walking back towards the boy who was still sitting on the marble floor.

"here, look at this" she says, sitting beside him and handing him the book. taesan looks at her confused, "what? the sketchbook you always have your head in and never let me look through? you're really telling me to look at it? now?" she nods, "mhm! take it or leave it, taesan. this is a once in a lifetime opportunity" he shakes his head at her words but his fingers began to stroke over the leather material of the expensive-looking sketchbook's cover. he used both his hands to softly pry it opened, greeted with her messy scribble-like handwriting on the very first page.

'this book in your hands, the book i always use though if you looked into it you'd be confused flipping through the pages you'd find the same idea overused you'd find that only one person remains my forever muse.'

yn watched the way his eyes scanned over the poem she wrote, the confusion evident on his face as he tried to analyze the riddle-like clause. "your forever muse? if this whole book is a collection of drawings of kim leehan, i really don't want to see it" taesan says, scoffing in the process. the girl furrows her brows, "what are you talking about?" he rolls his eyes, "what do you mean? i'm obviously talking about your seriously obvious crush on mister popular!" her mouth falls opened in shock, "you idiot, i do not have a crush on that dork! never!" he chuckles, "you don't have to lie, yn...i understand it if you do...i mean isn't he just so dreamy?" he bats his eyelashes dramatically as he looks up at the roof, mimicking the way most girls thirsted over his popular classmate. she clicks her tongue before placing one nice big slap on the side of his arm. "ow! what was that for?" he whined, rubbing the spot that hurt.

"that's for being a fucking idiot...just look through the fucking sketchbook if you don't believe me!" her words are loud in his ears, a new voice of anger that juxtaposed the sweet tone she used earlier. it freaked the boy out for a second, sensing that he was wrong and obliging to her words. "alright fine...no need to yell" he said, fingers going back to fiddle with the pages of the book that now sat on his lap. he took a deep breath in, as did she, before finally flipping over to the next page. he gasps in shock, eyes widening ever so slightly at the sight before him. there, drawn in ink and pencil, the one thing that caused this whole scene to begin with. the thing he'd been longing for that he thought she never cared to make. it was a portrait of himself.

"what...is that me?!" the boy turns to face her in shock, suddenly questioning the reality of this situation. she snickers, "yeah, no shit! and if you could quit yapping and looked through the rest of the book you'd find a thousand more drawings of you" taesan lets out a laugh, wasting no time as he continued to flip through each and every page. yn watched the way the corners of his lips began to point upwards, his smile getting bigger and bigger after every drawing.

soon the ink-stained pages turned into blank ones, yet to be doodled on by the artsy girl. taesan shuts the sketchbook closed, turning to look at his friend with the fondest of eyes. "so you do care about me" he says, his voice sincere and warm. she laughs, "i care about you so so so much, stupid" he giggles, a giddy feeling in his tummy, "i mean obviously you do...a whole book of drawings of me?! you might as well just tell me you're in love with me!" he's laughing still, though he can't help but notice the way she had quieted down. did he say something wrong?

"hey...you okay?" he asks, a hand moving up to press softly against her shoulder. she's frozen, unable to utter a word. "was it something i said?" he continued, tucking bits of her hair away from her face. "what is it, yn? just tell me..." the boy was growing impatient, not really understanding what was going on in that little head of hers. she sighs, looking up at him again. "okay...but you can't be dramatic about it" she says, making him roll his eyes, "when have i ever been dramatic?" the girl glares at him, "taesan" he goes silent, "okay, i'm sorry, just tell me" she nods once, inhaling deeply.

"taesan, i think i kind of really am...in love with you"

han taesan gasps, his eyes as wide as the earth as those very words left her lips. yn watches his shocked expression, beginning to regret everything she just said. "fuck, i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said anything-" her rambling comes to a halt when his gleeful laughs serenade the room, confusing the girl for the millionth time that day. "why are you laughing?" she asked, unsure of what emotion she was supposed to feel. he smiles, "because i'm happy. don't happy people laugh?" his cheeks were dusted with a shade of pink, a similar colour on his lips that smiled warmly at her. "huh?" yn was still lost, everything that he spoke beginning to sound like a foreign language to her.

"i love you too, yn. i always have. i mean, why else would i be jealous of mister popular and all our other classmates?" the boy's words were natural, he spoke like he had no doubts and worries anymore. she looked at him with adoring eyes, eyes that were glossed with a layer of pre-mature tears. "oh don't cry, you idiot!" he said, his ears catching the silent whimper that fell out of her lips. "well then don't make me, stupid!" she whined, slapping him on the chest. taesan giggles again, pulling her into his embrace. "you're such a big baby, yn" he says, his teeth out for display as he grinned into her hair that still smelled of rain. "says the one who was literally about to cry because he thought i didn't care about him" she pushed herself off of his chest, a great big pout present on her lips as she glared at him like a child. he clicked his tongue, "don't look at me like that, yn" she's confused again, "like what?"

"like you want me to kiss you"

yn smiled, "and what if i do?"

the girl moves, getting on her knees and scooting closer to him. he adjusts as well, their faces inches away from each other now. his hands found home over on the sides of her face, her own ones soothing the skin of his neck. they stare at each other for a while, neither one of them making a move. yn gets impatient, one hand moving from the back of his neck down to the red tie beneath the collar of his school uniform. she tugs at it, sending taesan forward and crashing onto her lips. they kissed like they'd never again, an entanglement of tongues filling the otherwise silent room with lustful sounds. she giggles as they separate, gasping for air. their foreheads remained stuck together, her eyes never leaving his. he grins, leaning in to connect their lips once again. it was quick this time, a soft peck followed by about a dozen more.

"you're so handsome, taesan" the girl says, examining his features closely as she traced her finger over each one of them. "even more than leehan?" he asked, the envy still existing in his heart. she rolls her eyes, "a billion times more" the boy raises an eyebrow, "really?" yn looks up at the ceiling, as if she were making a really big decision. "maybe not a billion times more..." taesan frowns, his expression sending her heart to beat faster than a bullet train. "i'm kidding. you're a billion times more handsome than anyone ever" she assures, playing with the ends of his dark hair. "oh yeah?" he smirks, feeling proud again. "i mean duh...you are, after all..." yn trails off, pressing her forehead against his again.

"...my forever muse"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"yn! so sad we missed you for froyo yesterday" kim leehan says as yn ln enters the classroom. she smiles, "yeah sorry about that, i had somewhere to be..." he nods in understanding before hopping off of the table he sat on and beginning to walk over to her. "that's alright, maybe you can come after school today? it'll just be us though...what do you say?" he had a shit-eating smirk placed onto his lips, confidently winking at the girl. she opens her mouth to answer but a familiar voice enters the classroom, interrupting her before she could even speak.

"the answer is no! and stop perceiving my girlfriend! she does not want you!!"

han taesan glares at the other boy, an annoyed look on his face as he wraps a protective arm over yn's shoulders. the girl sighs, slapping a palm over her forehead when leehan shoots her boyfriend a weirdened out look. the kim guy moves his gaze from the han boy and over to the girl, raising his eyebrows so as to ask for confirmation. she nods slowly,

"sorry leehan, my boyfriend asked me out for froyo today already"

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

writing this made me feel so much better after ive been sad TT hope u guys enjoyed this <3 reblogs n feedbacks r greatly appreciated!! tysm for readinggg! love, kona.

[tastywormfood]

Ive tried to get my feelings about Moominvalley s4 into words, but im having a really hard time even accepting them. But ill try!

So here's my thoughts in Moominvalley s4.

Im 23 now and i remember being 12 - 15 figuring out my identity, and the only "representation" in mrdia being basically either "Bury your gays" trope or just queerbaiting. I grew up on a base level thinking i wasnt allowed to exist, and if i still dared to, tragedy would be my only birth right.

I believed i wasnt allowed to live a happy, soft AND queer life, cause no media i had seen had ever showed me that, that was a possibility.

Both the 90's Moomin series and Moominvalley 2019 are my comfort shows. I fall asleep to them at night, i listen to them like a podcast while im working or outside, they even calm my panic attacks. I collect cups, plushies, i collect the Comics and even some of the books.

I have 3 Moomin tattoos. This universe means a damn lot to me, and to thousands of ppl world wide.

As a queer person i find incredible comfort in Tove Janssons work, and you have to be a fool to be unable to see the way Snufkin and Moomintroll are written together.

I have been following this show since early 2020 and have watched interview to interview, ive listened to the podcast more times than i can count, and they knew what they were doing.

From the beginning of the show they deliberately wrote Snufkin and Moomin to be something more, they even confess In a BTS that their Moomin might like Snufkin more than Snorkmaiden. Even the podcast talked about it!! We are not crazy!!!

I feel incredibly gaslit by the entire situation, and suddenly im 14 again being told im reading too much into it.

Idk what happened inbetween S3 and 4, but it felt like all the love and care that came from the show, just disappeared?

Ignoring Snufmin for a second, every episode this season felt like a filler. It has no plot, followed up on nothing from the last seasons, and had an extreme amount of loose ends.

The former seasons, especially s1 and 2 has such amazing writting, character development and just a feeling of patience and of softness, i would watch it and think everything would be okay... But this season felt stripped of every inch of the care Tove Jansson put into her universe.

I want to talk a little about Moomintroll.

One of Moomins character Arcs is his want to grow up, its his need to be taken seriously and his need for independence and adventure. His need to step out of his dads shadow, and to be his own moomin! The character development he had built up through out the seasons, completely and utterly disappeared. There is no trace of anything in s4.

He is right back to where he started in s1, not being able to stand up for himself and say no, not having the confidence to go on adventures and right back to idealizing his dad. If anything this entire season felt like a prequal! Cause at least s1 Moomintroll wanted to learn, and was activily trying to change.

Moomintroll truly felt like a side character this season, i dont even think he has any important moments. Unless you count Comet in Moominvalley (which i dont), where all his independence has disappeared. Moominpapa literally has to push him out. He made one decision that eps, which was to float down the river instead of walking, which ended up being the wrong and slower way.

The regression Moomintroll went threw this season is heartbreaking, and thats not my Moomin.

Focusing for a bit on Snufkin, this season felt like a slap to the face.

They know that Snufkin is one of their most popular characters right? If not the most popular. If anything he is at least in the top 3, not only in Moominvalley but in the rest of the moominverse.

So why did this season feel like Snufkin erasure?

He was barely in it, and when he was all of that glow that normally radiats from him was all gone. He felt like the husk of a character.

This version of Snufkin was on of my favs, cause you could actually see his flaws and disagree with his actions. He had room to grow, and he did, he truly did.

He learned from Moomin just like Moomin learned from him. Their characters Arcs co align witch each other, their relationship and interactions are the pillars of the entire show. Snufkin and Moomintroll are what make the show proceed.

Finding the 2019 show for the first time as an 18 year old gave me confirmation and trust, that i was allowed to live a soft and slow life as a queer person. If Moomintroll and Snufkin could have that kind of beautiful queer slow burn romance, then i had a chance to as well.

They knew that a big part of their viewers are queer, and they knew how popular Snufmin was. They knew what kind of ppl they attracted, or they wouldnt have made it like that.

All the soft moments, the longing, the zoom in on eye contact, the zoom in on hand holding. They said trust us, they said be patient, and then they threw everything they had been building up out and set fire to it.

We got Queerbaited, and i truly havnt felt this feeling for a while. We got actual queer shows now, ofc they all end up being cancelled! But they exist!

This show felt like it was crafted with so much love and care, that i completely let my guard down. The entire queer Moomin community did a 5 year long trustfall, just to hit the floor the last second.

Season 4 of Moominvalley felt empty. It felt lost of all care and love. The first 3 seasons felt handcrafted by warm hands, season 4 felt machine made. Easy to digest, with no real soul.

Season 4 of Moominvalley feels souless.

I have chosen to live in a world where Comet in Moominvalley is a prequal to s4 and that s4 is a prequal to s1. The true last season was S3 and Moominvalley ended with Snufkin and Moomin walking arm in arm. Thats the only way i can Rationalize everything.

I have so much more to say, but ill stop here for now. Hope all of you are doing okay<3

[mca-attack21]

Nothing Like Greys Anatomy (Jeremiah x Conklin Reader)

TW: Hospitals, surgery

You hated being sick. That’s probably why you chose to ignore the loss of appetite, vomiting, and fever. The stomach pain was a little more severe than normal, but you had just started working out with Jeremiah, so you figured it was a combination of sore muscles and vomiting. You decided to pop a few ibuprofens and spend the day in bed with a book. It wasn’t long before Jeremiah knocked gently on your door. “Love, are you awake?”

“Yes Jere, you can come in.”

“Why is it that my beautiful girlfriend is hiding away from the world?” he asked, being dramatic. 

“I’m not feeling the best.”

“Awe, babe,” he frowned. He took in your appearance, you looked flushed. “What’s wrong? Just feeling sicky?” he asked, placing a hand on your forehead, “You definitely feel warm.”

“My stomach hurts, I’m nauseous, I kept throwing up last night, and I’m pretty sure I have a fever cause I keep getting chills.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up? I could’ve taken care of you,” he asked with pouty eyes. 

“Because I’m fine Jere, I took medicine about an hour ago, I’m just waiting for it to kick in.”

“Can I get you anything? Do you want to spend the day cuddling and watching movies?”

“That sounds nice, Jere.”

You went to stand up but the dull ache on the right side of your stomach suddenly felt like it exploded. Your vision was taken over with a blinding whiteness, you cried out in pain. You would have fallen to the floor if Jeremiah wasn’t there to catch you. 

“Y/n? Talk to me. What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked frantically, but you were too busy crying out in pain to respond. He shifted his weight and hoisted you into his arms bridal style. Quickly carrying you downstairs, he was met by his mom who came hurrying round the corner. 

“What happened? Is she okay?”

“I don’t know, she said she wasn’t feeling well and then when she went to stand up she almost fell over.”

“Get her in the car. I’ll call her mom.”

He carried you outside and got you situated in the backseat with your head on his lap.

“You’re okay, I’ve got you, everything is going to be okay,” he promised repeatedly.

After a few minutes the pain seemed to subside. Your breathing returned to normal.

“You okay princess?” Jeremiah asked. 

“It hurts Jere.”

“What hurts?” 

You held your right abdomen, “Here.”

“Sounds like appendicitis” Susannah chimed in. 

You groaned. 

When you got to the hospital Jeremiah ran in and grabbed you a wheelchair. When they were checking your vitals they were concerned that your heart rate was elevated and that you had a 102.4 fever. This apparently was on the edge to where they could not tell whether you appendix had burst or not. They took you straight back to a room. The Doctor came in and examined you, explaining that you definitely had appendicitis. They needed to get a CT to determine if it could be treated with antibiotics, if it needed to be surgically removed, or if it had ruptured. To say you were scared was an understatement. You’d never liked hospitals and being the patient was 10 times worse. 

Jeremiah was by your side the whole time. He helped you change into your gown. He held your hand as a nurse put in an IV. He even convinced the nurse to let him go down to CT with you. They made him stand in the protected room and watch while they got you all situated. He could see that you were freaking out, so he took a chance and flipped on the mic. 

“Y/n you’re doing great. Just close your eyes and pretend you are floating in the pool. The space donut is going to take its pictures and I’ll be here the whole time. I promise.”

You calmed down and the radiologist thanked his and got started.

A few minutes later, you were headed back to your room. Everyone was crammed in there. Jeremiah had to sit on the end of the bed, careful to avoid your wires. 

“Wow, full house in here,” the Doctor said as he walked back in, “Unfortunately, it does look like we are going to have to remove your appendix. We will do laparoscopic surgery. You should be able to go home today or tomorrow. You’ll have pain meds and antibiotics to take. Take it easy for the next two weeks and then you should be good as new. Of course you’ll need to follow-up with a primary care doctor,” he explained. 

Jeremiah squeezed your hand, a silent signal that you were okay.

Your mom followed the doctor out into the hall, no doubt bombarding him with questions. 

It wasn’t long before they took you to pre-op. No family allowed. Everyone wished you luck and promised they’d be there when you got back.  In the room alone you were starting to freak out about everything that could go wrong. After all you had watched Greys Anatomy, you were aware that even the simplest surgeries could have fatal complications. You were so in your head that you hadn’t heard the door open. 

“How’s my beautiful girl?”

“Jeremiah? You’re not supposed to be here.” 

“I used my charm on one of the nurses. We only have a few minutes.”

“I’m scared,” you admitted.

“It’s okay,” he promised, placing a kiss on your forehead. 

“But what if it's not?” 

“Then we will figure it out. Together. I promise.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. I’m gonna sneak out, before I get caught,” he explained before kissing you.

-------------------

The next thing you remember was waking up. 

“Hey there Sleeping Beauty.” Jeremiah said, standing up. “How are you feeling?” 

“I feel great,” you answered, still loopy from the pain meds, “Has anyone ever told you you’re cute?” 

Everyone laughed.

“Surgery went well, we should be going home today,” your mom informed you. 

“You’re pretty, you know that?” you replied. 

Again everyone laughed. 

You well asleep again, the next time you woke up you were much more alert and oriented. This time only your mother and Jeremiah were in the room. The others had all been sent home by your mom. She would have tried to get Jeremiah to go with them, but she knew better.  

"Hi there," you smiled.

"Hi there," Jeremiah answered.

"How'd it go?" you asked.

"They said once your up and walking that we can head home."

"That's good," you paused, "Did you come visit me right before or was that a dream?"

"That was real," he smiled.

"So when they say I need to be up and walking, what are we talking? Cause I'd walk a marathon to get out of this gown and back into my clothes," you joke.

Jeremiah and your mom help you to stand and you start to walk a bit. It definitely felt weird. Your mom got one of the nurses and soon enough the Doctor came back in with discharge instructions. Jere took great pleasure in wheeling you out to the car.

When you got home the whole gang had a movie night. Though you fell asleep not even a quarter of the way through the first movie. Jeremiah just held you in his arms, happy to have you home.

[lemon-popp]

Spending time with the sith: episode iv

Pairings: Qimir x Black! female oc

warnings: Unprotected sex, Fluff, swearing, pining, slight rejection, Typos (sorryyyy)

words count: 5k

masterlist

Luna’s body is lifted onto the elevated bed with Qimir aiding her every move as if she’s some hurt bird while lifting each of her legs. Although she deeply appreciated his tender help, it wasn’t really necessary, it was just a twisted ankle. She wasn’t ran over by a ship and left completely disabled. But despite these thoughts, she basks in this feeling.

Back home she has always working. Never had a break since the day she was old enough to join the workforce. It was tough at first, but eventually she got used to it…because she had to. It wasn’t enough just living off the salary her mom made at the apothecary, she knew she needed to help. Though much protest from her mother, Luna insisted, Sacrificing her freedom to give her mom even just the slightest break from being the sole provider. Allowing her to reduce her hours so they can spend more time together.

As of recently though, her mom quit. Not by choice of course, but because of her rapidly declining health that caused her to even have difficulty standing at the cash register. The day her mom returned home with the news, Luna knew that she had to step up. She knew that she had new responsibilities on her dainty shoulders, responsibilities to which she took on with no hesitation. She would do anything for her mom, which meant picking up multiple shifts, getting another job and taking care of her mom’s every need. So it’s safe to say this girl was on the clock 24/7. So yeah, she’s definitely appreciating this treatment, ignoring the guilt that sat in her stomach, just for this moment.

“I’m gonna go make dinner,” Qimir’s pleasant voice seeps through her ears like a musical melody. Her big brown eyes meet his, and she almost completely forgets about relaxing. Her workforce robot brain rebooting into action.

“Oh i can help—,” Before the eager girl can finish her suggestion, Qimir’s places his large and on the top of her thigh, as a means to stop her.

“No,” His eyes glare deep into hers, his eyebrows low and face straight as if he was scolding her. Luna’s eagerness dissipates almost immediately and she cowers like a scared puppy, but a heat swells up to her cheeks, ”I got it. You just lay there, looking beautiful and rest. okay?”

The dominance oozes off his tongue as every word that was spoken enunciated meticulously in a stern tone.

He meant it

Qimir wasn’t sure where this came from. Any of this. The hospitality. The tender words. Just being giving in general. He just wanted to give to her. Whatever she wanted. He even wanted to give her everything he never received.

Luna nods in agreement, sinking back down into the cotton sheets that covered his luxurious bed. Qimir turns on his heels and makes his way to the kitchen, his large figure disappearing from her view.

With him gone, Luna takes this time to ‘tame’ her hair, or at least that’s what the people at school and work would say whenever she wore her hair out. She loved her hair, her mom always encouraging her to have her on style and to feel confident. It just so happens that when she felt most confident was when her curls framed her face like an angel in the clouds. The brown lengthy coils that resembled a male lion.

But right now, as her hair was still damp from the bath, took the opportunity to make a slick low bun with her hands. She didn’t necessarily feel like Qimir was unwelcoming to her hair, or her self expression in general. Especially after the way he manipulated it in his large hand, careful not to entangle is fingers inside the thicket. She decided to style her hair simply because she still had no bonnet and didn’t enjoy waking up with knots, tangles and dry hair.

After fifteen minutes, the slick back bun was a slick as it could be and as if on cue, Qimir entered back into the bedroom with one ceramic bo in hand. Steam escaping from the dish.

Excitement rushes through Luna, preparing her taste buds for the delicious soup she had yesterday until the bowl finally arrived in her hands.

vegetables? really?

Qimir catches how her face that was just bright with excitement, dropped when faced with the dinner for tonight. Her thick eyebrows furrow in confusion and plump lips pouting. He shakes his head at her in amusement.

Funny that she wants the soup now.

“What’s the matter?,” Humor coats his sentence in a teasing manner, a smirk crawling across his face, knowing exactly what is the matter.

Luna rolled her eyes at him, taking the metal fork in hand to stab the sautéed carrots, broccoli and cauliflower in spite. Masking the slight disappointment in her face and her annoyance at him noticing this disappointment.

Truth is she felt bad for judging his food so early. Granted it did look like a boil of green thick bile, but nonetheless it was still rude of her to have act that way. Luna sighed lightly, bringing the fork to her lips consuming the vegetables, which were perfectly seasoned.

is this man a chef? holy cow this is delicious.

“mm, never a chef. just had enough patience to learn,” Qimir answered the question that rang in her mind for the third time that day. Not caring about hiding his power anymore. Who he was. He trusted her.

Well, he trusted that she wasn’t working with the jedi. She’s far too emotional to be with them and there’s no way she’d just freely let him roam her mind if she were.

Luna’s eyes flick up to meet his, her almond eyes burning into his with a dissecting squint. Her mind ran a million kilometers per minute, trying to once again understand how. The question repeats around her brain as it attempts to make up reasonable answers, but to no avail. The only way is to ask.

“Are you a jedi?,” Her voice clear, eyes locked as she takes another bite of her food, awaiting for his confession.

Him being a jedi is the only possible explanation. Well…besides the fact that he’s alone, on this planet.

Qimir surprising breaks the interrogating eye contact with the beautiful girl in front of him, his gaze dropping along with his mischievous smile.

He figured this moment would come. I mean, he fully expected it with how he was recklessly answering the burning questions that played in her head. But the feeling that washed over him as the words left her sweet lips, was something he would never expect.

His stomach dropped, heart slowing to a deathly rate and his skin grew cold, but he still broke out in a light sweat on his forehead. The thought of telling this compassionate, caring, and charismatic woman that he was a fallen jedi, who murdered and felt no guilt, crushed him. The thought of her possible reaction crushed him. Her eyes succumbing to fear at the realization that she has been living with an evil sith. He feared this. But why?

she’s not yours Qimir. she was not and never will be yours. if anything this is for the best. Telling her will drive her back home, back to safety, back to her mother and away from you.

A lump forms at the back of his throat, this prominent adams apple bobbling as his tries to swallow it away. It lingers anyway.

With a sigh, he reaches out to grab Luna’s injured ankle to which she slightly winces at, but doesn’t protest as he places it across his thick lap. His eyes focus on the bare skin of her leg, avoiding the intense chocolate orbs that stared at him with concern.

Qimir’s large calloused hands caress her injury, his fingers massaging the tender bone. At first it just felt like a deep contusion, but at the seconds went by the pain that was once there is completely gone.

he just—he just healed me.

Her eyes widen at her realization as she slowly circles her foot, testing whether she’s being delusional or not. The bleeding organ in her chest thumps harder, her brain buzzing with questions all while her fingers grip onto the warm bowl.

Qimir softens the grasp he has on her ankle, letting his hands fall off of her smooth skin. Taking her sudden change in demeanor as a sign to give her space.

The burly man sighs, the most defeated he has looked in their shared time together.

“I am not a Jedi, Luna. Not anymore,” Qimir sighs but spoke directly, firm with his words. His hands that now sat on his lap, fidgeted the the hardened callouses that formed on his palms.

Luna’s brown eyes light up at his confession and small smirk forming across her lips at the thought of being right. Or so she thought.

“I was thrown away by my master. I was unable to tap into the power of the force with their methods. I was unable to cut ties with my emotions. Unable to let go of the life i had before them. My family. They just expected me to just…forget about them. But i did, to the best of my abilities.”

Although Qimir’s strong voice doesn’t falter while telling his story, Luna can sense how heavy it weighs on his heart. The way his dominant eyes that never shy away from intense eye contact couldn’t even meet hers. The way his heavy shoulders slumped in an egregious posture.

Luna takes the bowl in her hands and sets in down next to her to instead reach out for his large ones. Along with his hands, she also take his gaze. His saddened eyes finally met her warms ones that reassured him.

“Q, im so sorry,” Qimir flinches at the nickname. It may have been something so small, but that small thing lit his chest on fire and warmed his cheeks. His natural confidence started to sprout again thanks to her.

“I use the force on my own terms now. By using my emotions. my anger, my sadness, my passion. my desire. I use it. i have used it on you. to heal you. to read your mind. and I have used it on others. on the jedi”

Luna’s compassionate smile drops for a second, letting the last sentence register in her head.

i have used on others. on the jedi.

To luna it seemed very clear what he meant by that statement. Of course he wasn’t reading their minds to flirt with them easier or using it to heal them like he was doing to her. He used it for revenge.

The thought didn’t necessarily scare her, knowing that she personally didn’t need to fear him. But coming to the realization that this man that she has given her trust to has possibly killed, did shock her.

This is the same man who carried her bridal style over a twisted ankle. Who comforted her while ranting about her mother’s sickness. Who fed her meals, bathed her, and pleased her like no other, including herself. So Qimir being a murder definitely failed to run across her mind.

However, this realization didn’t change anything. “thank you for telling me,” she spoke gently, almost in a whisper-like manner.

“Why aren’t you scared?,” Qimir chews on his pink bottom lip, confused on how such a sweet soul like her isn’t running away at his confession.

i read your mind. i lied about my identity. i killed. why is she still sitting here, staring at me with those gorgeous eyes.

“Why would i be scared of you, Qimir. From the sound of it, you were taken away from the purest love anyone could experience and forced to sever those ties. You were never allowed to heal from such a traumatic event. Unable to build a potential relationship to fill that void. You’re not a bad person. You’re just hurting,”

Luna’s rogue thumbs draws a soothing pattern on the back of his veiny hands, making sure that he not only heard her words, but felt them too. Feeling how much she truly sympathized with him.

“i do have one question though," A small smile spreads across her lips. Curiosity and intrigue forming. "Outside of revenge on the entire jedi, what is it you desire most?”

Although the question was meant to be light hearted, the air grows thicker as she awaits for his response. The previous sympathetic gaze they shared was soon washed away, replaced with something else. Qimir’s eyes scan the woman that sat in front of him taking in all of her beauty. The way the curls that were once free and wet, was now pulled back presenting the masterpiece of her face.

“The power of two,” Qimir brings his gaze back to her chocolatey eyes, locking them in an intense stare off that neither of them backed down from. A look that spoke a thousand words yet nothing at all. The hands that once held his were now overpowered as he gave her dainty palms a knowing squeeze.

Now it's time for Luna to take her bottom lip in her mouth, chewing it nervously. The thought of him referring to her in the sense of the 'power of two' sending her mind in an overdrive, but so did the thought of him referring to someone else completely. While rather fearless, Luna was no fighter much less a wielder of the force, it would foolish of her to think he was making such an implication.

“Q—I hav,” Luna starts but is interrupted with Qimir's full plush lips against her's, the had that were once holding onto hers found its way to the sides of her head, keeping her hostage. Confirming that he was indeed referring to her.

The girl only takes a second to recover from the surprise of his lips before joining his feverish kisses, allowing herself to let her hands wander over his cream robe. Qimir's lips sizzled with desire and he sucked on her juicy ones, all restraint he had leaving his massive body.

Qimir was extremely skilled at keeping his cool, that was what most fear about him. The fact that it was nearly impossible to detect what he was truly feeling, unable to predict his actions. However, when it came to Luna. Her loving eyes boring into his soul, reassuring him and showing such loyalty only after these short two days, it made him lose it cool, to put it lightly.

With lips moving in unison and fitting together like cogs in a clock, Qimir crawls towards her, his lengthy body hovering over her tiny frame. Luna peers at him through her thick eyelashes, admiring the way his biceps bulged against the linen long sleeve cloth, allowing her fingertips to follow her gaze up his arm up to drape hers around his neck.

The oversized robe that enveloped Luna parted slightly at the neck, exposing her impressive décolletage. The threatening unveiling drives Qimir to insanity as he attempts to hold himself from ripping the thin linen from her body himself. But Instead he opts for soft kisses that trail down tantalizingly slow, tasting the sweet honey of her skin.

Luna arches off the bed, her back forming a deep curve that’s practically begging for qimir to take advantage of. Her chest fully pushed out as a result causing the robe to open up even more. Qimir groans at her reaction. pleased

all of this over some kisses. she has no idea.

Qimir loops his arms through the gap between the sheets and her back, allowing his arms to wrap around the girl’s waist. His pink lips reach the hilt of her covered breast before using his teeth to tug at the cloth that barely covered her hard nipples.

Luna gasps at the cool feeling of air that caressed her nerve as she stared down at the man who had hunger written all over him. He was a starved lion. and she was a gazelle.

His eyes meet her’s, stalling at her newly exposed skin 1) to check if she was okay with this 2) to see the pure bliss on her face when he latches his lips around her stiff brown nipple. Qimir starts with gentle licks which later progresses into sucking and nibbling while he frees a hand to pinch the other.

Luna’s eyes roll back, her hands dragging its way to his hanging hair, gripping softly. Moans escape her lips, her back arching even more into his mouth which Qimir takes note of.

she wants more

Q detaches from her swollen breast to kiss down even further, using the force to untie the robe and open it up completely. Luna’s full body now on display.

Goosebumps litter her golden brown skin that burned under Qimir’s gaze. Which were filled with nothing but admiration. If she looked closely she could see the hunger subsiding for a second being replaced with awe as he observed her.

There was a goddess lied underneath him. Trusting him to please her. To serve her. And serve he shall.

Qimir swallows the sudden lump of shyness that formed at his throat due to the sight before him. The cocky confidence rushing back.

The burly arms release her from his unwavering hug around her waist allowing him to use his wide hands to wrap around her calfs, lifting them. Her legs now nearly reached her head, her womanhood fully exposed. At mercy to whatever he had in store.

Luna’s chest starts to pound in excitement, a toothy smile spreading across her beautiful face. Qimir looks down between the girl’s legs, catching her wide smile that caused him to grin with confusion. His thick eyebrows knit together at Luna’s untimely humor.

“What’s going on little one?,” He gives her a playful smirk as the hands wrapped around her calfs drag down the length of her legs, running over the developing goosebumps that littered her strong quads before stopping right at her inner thighs.

Luna's breath hitches at the back of her throat from the growing anticipation at feeling his warm hands touch her even warmer delicates, “I just— I’m excited.”

“Excited hm?," His lips latch on to her dangling legs, starting at her previously swollen ankle to which he littered clement kisses against before trailing down, his tongue slipping out to take the same path his hands took. The pink buds tasting the sweetness of her skin, only what Qimir could image to be just a snippet of what she really tasted like. The man stops only a couple inches away from her exposed core, the smell her dripping arousal filling up his senses. If he wasn't enjoying this teasing, she would've already been on her third orgasm. but the way her heart thumped in her chest, her mind already nothing but tv static and how she arched her back after every touch was something worth savoring.

Qimir inhales deeply, filling his lungs with her pheromone that sends him into a high to which he blows out with a dramatic sigh. The air that leaves his lips blowing directly onto Luna's throbbing clit.

Her body contracts, eyes shooting down to his with a pleading gaze. Begging to give her what she wants. Begging for his lips on hers. Qimir catches the sent glare, reveling in the power it gave him but only for second as his desire to please this gorgeous woman overthrew his need for power.

Luna throws her head back with aggression, her back lifting off the bed as if she was being possessed as she felt the way his tongue swirled and lapped at her bud. The hand gripping onto her left thigh moved to her core as he gently inserts two fingers in. The moan that escapes her mouth drives him crazy as he pumps his thick calloused fingers all while still obliterating her lit with his talented tongue.

Luna's hands find their way to his hair, pulling on the long hair that sat at the top of his head, begging for more.

It was nice feeling the way his lips sucked on swollen clit and how his fingers hooked inside of her. Hell, it was one of the best feelings she's ever experienced in her life. But somehow she craved more. She craved closeness. She craved him inside of her. She craved the feeling of them coming together as one.

"Q- Qimir, I nee-- I need you," She pants with closed eyes. the grip on his hair tightening attempting to lift him from his dinner. Qimir raises his head revealing his absolutely drenched chin and a slightly annoyed face. Luna giggles at his bewildered state before dragging him up by his wet chin to meet her eye level, "I need you Qimir."

Her chestnut brown eyes stare pleadingly through his oak ones, hoping that he would just use that awesome force power of his to read her thoughts. To save her from the humiliation that was starting to bubble up inside of her.

Lucky for her, Qimir didn't have to use it anyway, he knew what she wanted from her words alone. The playfully annoyed expression is replaced with a soft look as he takes in the current situation. He stares down at her, a swirl of emotions brewing in his chest. Lust, excitement, warmth, comfort…fear.

Qimir shakes the last thought out of his mind, narrowing his focus back on the beauty who was currently begging underneath him.

The distance is closed with a tender kiss to Luna’s full lips before pulling away just slightly.

“Are you sure?,” He asks just centimeters away, eyes locked in a unwavering gaze, both searching for signs of uncertainty. None arises and Luna nods, committing to her statement as the ache in her core grew exponentially.

Qimir mouths an ‘okay’ before sitting back on his knees to give him space to fully remove his robe. Unveiling his godly body that makes the woman shift up to get a better view.

A part of her felt like she needed to be pinched. That there was no way that she was experiencing the privilege of laying underneath him. His detailed abs and large biceps on display for her. His desire rock hard just for her.

Luna stretches out to run her delicate fingers down the length of his torso, feeling each ripple that decorated his abdomen in disbelief. He was real. Truly real. Too real.

A pleased smirk formed across Qimir’s pink, swollen lips, savoring the feeling of her fingers trailing down his body, nearing the lengthy member that throbbed for her. Qimir throws his robe off to the side and takes back his previous position hovering on top of Luna, as she continues her venture.

Without warning, Luna wraps her hand around his warm cock, taking in the size as her hand could barely fully wrap around him. Her jaw goes slack, mouth gapped open in surprise and Qimir’s smirk only grew wider.

He was going to enjoy tonight.

Qimir removes Luna’s grasp off of his member to instead pin it above her head by intertwining their fingers together. The head of his cock grazing her clit as he did so. She was ready for him.

and so was he.

Qimir takes his free hand, aligning his length with her begging entrance. He pushes in gently with a sharp inhale that is shared with Luna who tightens the grip on his hand. The thickness of his cock and the lack of experience on her end making it rather difficult to go fully in.

The burly man pulls out and pushes back in with the same technique as before, but this time Luna breathes out, fully relaxing into him. He slips in deeper than before, a strangled moan leaving Luna’s lips with an arch in her back.

Although he wasn’t fully in yet, it felt like she was full to the brim with him. The way his veiny length stretched her out further than anything else had ever before sent her to spiral. Her once strong eye contact, faltered with fluttering eyes that threatened to roll to the back of her head.

“You’re doing so good little one,” Qimir’s hips came to a stop, giving Luna some time to adjust to his impressive size. In the meantime, Qimir brings his free hand to her face, gently caressing the apple of her cheek with his thumb longingly. His eyes never leaving her just in case she shows any sign of discomfort before she mentions it.

While admiring her face, he is brought back to moments ago to when she comforted him. Validated his feelings. Understood him.

Heat starts to swell at his chest at the memory. A swarm of butterflies following right behind that choose to settle at his tummy. An emotion he longed to feel as a padawan in the jedi. An emotion he still denied himself of seeking until all of his business was taken care of.

Luna came back to her senses, catching Qimir’s lightly glossy eyes staring down at her so softly. Her breath hitching at the sight of him before giving a quick squeeze of his hands, bringing him back to reality.

“I’m ready,” She whispered between them with a soft smile. Qimir nods, pulling out and pushing back in repeatedly in a languid manner. Making sure he didn’t push too much of himself inside. At least for tonight.

His slow strokes drove Luna insane as they allowed for her to feeling almost every inch of him. Every throbbing vein raking the walls of her vagina.

Qimir dips his head in the space between her shoulder and head, his lips locking in on her neck. Kissing, nibbling and licking on her carotid artery.

He could kill her right now, the idea did cross her mind. He was a hurt, damaged man with nothing to lose, what would be stopping him from killing me? but that thought also drove her insane. That such a powerful, majestic man could end her like that, however chose to heal her. she felt like putty in his hands, at mercy to his touch. It made her wonder if it was because she was just an exception or he’s really just a good person. She hoped both were true.

Qimir’s thrust starts to pick up, his hand leaves her cheeks lowering to the round of her hip, his digits slightly digging into her skin. Luna wince at the increasing speed but soon adjusts with loud moans following suit.

“So perfect. So perfect for me,” Qimir gruff voice groans in her ear through his kisses. The compliment ignites a fire pit inside her stomach, A fire pit that eventually evolves into a lit stick of dynamite. Her walls grip onto him impossibly tighter, pulling a gruttual moan from him.

They were like animals. In their most primitive human state as they filled the air with strangled moans and heavy breathing. Bodies colliding like the moon and the stars. Moving in unison. Hearts beating in unison while their hands grip and claw at each other. Luna’s untangle their way out of Qimir’s possessive hold and make their way to his muscular back, her nails digging into his flesh, holding on for dear life.

Qimir gives one last lick to her neck before lifting his head to level with hers that struggled to stay still. Constantly being thrown back with every powerful thrust. His now lonely hand finds its way to her jaw, holding her still with a tender yet stern grip. He held her captive, forcing her eyes to stay on his.

The desperation on her face sent qimir into orbit. His confidence through the roof at seeing her fluttering eyes, gaped lips and flushed face. He found her absolutely breathtaking.

Qimir’s lips take hers by surprise and they kiss. Slow and sloppy. Lips crashing together, tongues exploring the inside of each others mouths. lips occasionally being bitten, but soothed by a loving kiss.

Luna’s mind was now obsolete. Head empty. no thoughts running. All she could possibly think about was Qimir and his touch. He was all she could consume.

The ignited dynamite reached its end point. At brink of explosion and with every thrust, his torso rubbed the nub of her flower. It was impossible to hold on. No matter how badly she wanted to stay in this moment forever. Her body begged for release, thrashing underneath him chasing her high. Qimir takes notice, breaking the kiss to egg his girl on.

“Come little one. Come for me love,” And with that she did. Her barely open eyes rolled to the back of her skull as her body convulsed violently as a strong orgasm rushed through her. Her nails dragging down the length of his back, deep enough to draw blood, well if Qimir wasn’t…Qimir.

The mix of the stinging of his back and the relentless pressure wrapped around his cock, only sent Qimir to meet his own release. With haste, he pulls out, coating her stomach with his seed. Luna too busy coming down from her own high to even notice.

The man reaches out to grab the nearest thing, which so happens to be his robe, to wipe his cum off of her. While delicately cleaning the girl, who now seemed so relaxed that she sunk deeper into the bed, a vision of his seed dumping inside of her popped into his head. Her smooth stomach eventually rounding as she carried their creation. Their love child.

Never in his life, or as long as he had been sexually active, had the thought of impregnating a partner made him feel such a way. Typically the idea would come from the mouth of the desperate woman he chose from the bar, who extremely overestimated the extent of their relationship. Not him.

Aside from the fact that he never found anyone worthy of carrying his seed, having a family scared him. He knew he wasn’t fit for fatherhood considering the lack of representation and love he has received.

Qimir removes himself from his thoughts, knowing that if he kept going it would end with him spiraling. So instead he keeps his focus on her, thinking how glad he is that she cannot read his mind or else she’d probably be off running too.

The man throws the robe back on the ground and rolls off the girl onto the empty space in the bed beside her, lying in his back. He opens his right arm out, inviting Luna to snuggle up next to him. An invitation she takes with great pleasure as she places her ear to his chest, wrapping her bare leg around his.

The laid there in silence, skin to skin, breaths per second decreasing reaching ultimate relaxation. Both of their eyes growing heavy, and their hearts swelling with pure warmth. Qimir rests his chin on her slicked back hair, inhaling the coconut smell that emitted from her.

Luna felt like she was neck deep in quicksand, officially unable to claw her way out. Every second, starting from the moment she was brought back to this cave unconscious, she was sinking further and further. There was just something about this man. Even though he is practically a stranger, sooo much stuff still left to learn about him, she felt compelled to him. A strong desire to know him, all of him, and to accept whatever baggage came with it.

Her moms voice rang through her head, wise words breaking through her own consciousness. The honey voice filled her mind with a quote that never really made sense, until this moment.

They were watching a movie in the living room, as they did every friday night if they were working a night shift that day. A movie about a princess and a knight having a terrible first impression, resulting in mutual disdain for each other to then being engaged and in love in the span of a day.

Young Luna scrutinized the legitimacy of the plot. Screaming that falling in love in a day was impossible. Someone would have to be crazy to do that.

Until her mom dismantled her entire argument with one sentence. The sentence that played through her head now.

“Love does not deal with time, but with the connection shared between the two,”

Luna closes her eyes, taking in a deep meditating breath to calm the racing of her heart. She can’t push her feelings down, her mom wouldn’t want that. Plus the fact that Luna always leaned towards being outspoken even in situations that didn’t really call for it.

With a huge exhale, Luna breaks the comfortable silence.

“Q…I think i— i think i love you,” Luna declares with a shivering voice, the first time she has outwardly expressed her nervousness around him, as she waited for his response.

Qimir’s breathing stops, every bone in his body turning into titanium too heavy to move. Her genuine words falling to a void of silence as the only thing Qimir could register was the pounding of his heart. Sweat pricks at his forehead, unsure of how to respond. Literally.

His mouth parts, preparing to return the sentiment, to confess all of the emotions that he tried to bury. But the hand of fear restricted him from doing so. Its grip tightening around his neck in a death hold.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. i just— i just thought you should know,” Luna reassures, a hint of disappointment coating her tongue.

She wasn’t necessarily expecting him to say it back. Of course she hoped for that. Hearing that the feeling was mutual and that he didn’t view her as some delusional little girl would’ve sent her to the moon. However, she didn’t confess for the purpose of it being thrown back at her. She wanted to tell him the truth, she wanted to live her truth because life is far too short to live a lie. To not take chances.

Qimir’s heart clenches at the sound of her tiny voice. Wishing there wasn’t some unhealthy trauma preventing him from chasing what he really desired. Wishing he wasn’t the way he was. A piece of trash. A failed Jedi. A murderer.

With heavy eyes, Luna shoves the sting of rejection towards the back of her head as she flips her body, her back now facing Qimir. Figuring that he would want space after her pathetic confession, ignoring how her body turned cold once she left his chest. How she longed to feel his bare skin against hers. she just wanted to respect him.

Little did she know that this was the opposite of what he wanted to happen. Luckily, his fear didn't restrain his ability move anything else of his body as he flips on his side, his front facing her back. His bulky arms reaching from behind her to pull her body into his, spooning her.

A small smile spreads across Luna's lips as she slowly drifts off to sleep.

episode v

[cumulo-stratus]

Love Like a Fathers

Request: Hello, hope you're having a good day/night, I was wondering if I could request Spencer x Father figure reader, theyre On a case the unsub tries to kill Spencer but reader protects him and gets hurt himself.

Pairing: platonic!Spencer reid x Father figure!reader

Summary: Y/n gets hurt protecting Spencer from an unsub, and y/n and spencer spend some time together at the hospital

warnings: cannon typical violence, gunshot wounds/blood, swearing, s1 spencer being an adorable little cutie-pie <3

A/N: Friend I'm so so so sry this has been a WIP for like month😭- I've had like no motivation to write :( thank you for the patience and for the lovely request, and although ive never written platonic for spencer, i did my best! btw the lovely dividers are by @cafekitsune (not proof read)

1.3k

Spencer Reid and Y/n L/n weren’t related by blood, but if you asked anyone that knew them- they would tell you that it doesnt matter. y/n treated spencer like the son he never had, and spencer treated y/n like the father he lost. Even if you didn’t know them, you could tell the pair were close. Spencers intellect bounced well of y/n’s wisdom. Hotch knew this, and often paired spencer with y/n because of it. And when they got called to a case in the small town of Trutney, Alabama, it was no different. 

As soon as the plane landed l/n and reid had been paired off to go to the M.E.’s to look at the one body they had so far. And so the next 2 days went by as uneventfully as they could go on a case with the BAU. Interviews, and case files - take out around a conference table and calls to garcia- just a regular BAU case. Until the last day when they were sure they had the right guy; Daniel Wilson, he fit the profile perfectly. And so the team was spilt into 2 groups; one going to the house and one going to the workplace. Hotch sent y/n and spencer to the back knowing y/n would have spencers back if anything happened. 

As they crept through the long hallways silently the pair would share glances every now and then. When they reached a split Y/n made a silent flick of his wrist ordering spencer to take the path to the right while y/n would take the path to the left. Y/n stalked down the hall with his gun raised leaving Spencer to do the same with the other hallway. 

Y/n was clearing the final room at the end of the hall when the distant sound of grunting and a gun shot. Without another though y/n raced down the hall toward the continuous grunting yelping. Y/n just barely remembered to call for back up as he ran- Morgan's voice sounding through the phones speakers.

"What's up L/n-"

He was interrupted by y/n's out breath voice.

"I heard a shot from Reid's side of the house I need backup" 

Before Morgan could respond y/n hung up, stuffing the phone in his back pocket. When y/n reached the source of the sounds, he found a door slightly ajar. He pushed it open all the way to find Spencer on the loop ground with the unsub above him. They were pushing against eachother trying sway the barrel of the gun in their favor. Spencer was trying to push the barrel away from his head while the unsub did the opposite. Without hesitation y/n crossed the room and grabbed the unsub roughly by his shoulders throwing him away from spencer. Spencer took no time at all the scramble away, his feet sliding as he fumbled to push himself away.  Meanwhile y/n and the unsigned were in a struggle for the gun. And almost as if in slow mo, spencer saw a bullet leave the barrel and enter y/ns shoulder- right where his neck met his shoulders. The resounding bang that came with it caused spencers ears to ring. but caused everything to come back to normal speed was the second gunshot, from y/n to the unsubs chest. He fell to the ground, bleeding out. 

“Spencer! spencer i need you to put pressure on the wound- okay?” 

Despite the many filed first aid books he’d read, spencer couldnt recall a single bit of information- and was only listening y/n’s instructions. 

“alright now use my sweater- ya its right over there. We need something to stop the bleeding-“

Y/n interrupted himself with small grunts and grimaces every time his shoulder moved. But luckily spencer was in it enough to properly use the sweater y/n had provided.

At this point spencers hands were soaked in blood, and so was the sweater. It was warm, and sticky- drying and cracking on the back of his hands. Just then Morgan came storming in, a mix of swat and paramedics trailing behind him. A paramedic took the sweater from spencer’s hands and he was pulled away by Morgan to checked out- despite his protests. spencer was quite insistent he stay with y/n but Morgan settled him enough to get checked out by telling him that he would be updated if anything happened. 

Spencer stood in front of the open doors of an ambulance- restlessly wringing his hands together while an EMT patched the small gash on his forehead. Spencer had resisted saying anything about how he thought it was unnecessary- as it wasn’t even bleeding that much. But spencer knew better than to argue with Morgan at this point. 

Spencer practically ran- which he didn’t do very often- to the nearest large black SUV. As he walked/ran across the lawn he called out to morgan.

“St. Mary’s right?”

“on 32nd street-“

spencer didnt allow morgan to finish- instead climbing into one of the FBI vehicles littering the street. 

The fluorescent lights of the hospital burned spencers retinas as spoke the woman at the desk. 

“excuse me where is Y/n L/n’s room?’

as he spoke, spencer drummed his fingers against the desk- anxious to see y/n. Make sure he was okay. 

“Down the hall and to your left, room 328 sir”

Spencer barely managed a curt thank you and nod before he was speed walking down the hall. the lights in the hospital clashed with the stark white of the hall when spencer entered. They were dimmed to be only slightly brighter than the dark sky through the glass. spencer found y/n asleep soundly with a large bandage across his shoulder and butterfly bandages littering his exposed chest and face. Spencer could feel some of the weight lift off his shoulders when his eyes met y/ns closed ones. 

----

Despite the dim light it still took effort for y/n keep his eyes open once he woke up. The first thing he noticed was sleeping form of Spencer draped over an uncomfortable looking chair. His back and neck were bent forward in what looked to be a not very comfortable position to sleep in. 

Spencer stirred when y/n grunted quietly from the pain of sitting himself up. Spencer immediately rubbed the sleep from his eyes and went to help y/n, and as always y/n tried to tell Spencer he was fine and didn't need help. But y/n always made an exception for Spencer- especially he insisted with his innocent honey brown eyes. 

"Spence I'm fine bud- come sit with me"

Y/n had a smile on his face and patted the spot next to him which he had now made by scooching over. Spencer shyly climbed up next y/n, his slacks and blazer looking out of place to the hospital gown y/n was wearing. 

"You know you really scared me back there-"

Spencer was staring at his hands as he spoke- remembering the blood that had once coated them. Y/n took the opportunity to place a comforting comforting hand on Spencer's back, rubbing back and forth the way y/ns own family did. 

"I know- but you can't rid of me that easily bud"

They both laughed lightly at that and instead of responding verbally Spencer leaned his head on y/ns shoulder, appreciating the warmth of y/ns excess internal heat. Spencer was often the one to take advantage of the human heater of a person y/n was. And this was one of those moments. 

No more words were needed for the rest of the evening. They weren't needed for anything- the team could handle it (and it helped that Hotch knew how stressed Spencer was and let him know he could stay at the hospital with y/n). 

And there; in the dimly lit hospital room, that smelled of disinfectant, Spencer felt more comforted than in his own home. 

The End 

Pls leave a like and a reblog!

[fanficfanatic000]

(A date?) E.M one

Nerd loser eddie x nerd loser fem reader

Trigger warning 18 + content no minors

Summary ( the fem reader works at a craft shop .seems and patches. Reader has more alt style. Reader is 21 and Eddie's 22. Eddie dropped out of high-school after almost dieing. The reader has zero friendsUntil a certain boy came into your work.)

A usual day usually consists of older women asking for floral pattern fabric And the white thread until today It was afternoon when you heard the bell on the door ring as someone with clanking chains walked in "welcome to seems and patches anything ya looking looking for?"You had to greet every customer because The job made you. He walked up to the counter. His figure was tall and leaned back Slightly his ripped dark blue jeans slightly baggy and hanging over his dirty white sneakers. His black Metallica t shirt was slighty tight clinging to his chest under a Jean jacket and a Jean vest. His doe brown eyes looking at you with his small stubble on his chin and a grin. "Uh do you guys have any sew on patches?" He raised an eyebrow"Yep our patches would be in isle 8" you smile "yeah thank you..." his hand on the back of his neck and he gulped "um can you come with me... i kinda wanted a second opinion and...." he gets flustered from your stare "n-nevermind" you smile "no problem its a pretty slow day anyways" his face immediately brightened and the red from his face drained "thanks p-pretty girl" and that caught you of guard cause no one has said that. Your face turned pink "you okay?"He looked down at your name tag "y/n?"You awkwardly nodded yes "um yeah its just no one has ever said that..."He tilted his head "?thank you?" His nose slightly scrunched "no ive never r-really been called pretty" you look down and you walk towards the isle slowly "seriously?""Yep" you say popping the p "Well i think thats probably because you make them nervous so they could never get it out.." his words have you all red and filled with butterflies he runs infront of you and held his hand out "im eddie."You put your hand in his ringed hand "hi eddie" he smiles wide and his beautiful eyes sparkle then you made it to the patches. He grabs a Metallica patch and holds it to the Jean vest. "Where would this look good?" You grabbed the patch from him and put it on the left of his chest. The air heated from noticing how close he really was. "Here would look pretty good"You hear a shaky breath exhale from eddie "Yeah" his face a pink tint as he grabbed a patch with a little coffen on it "how about this one?" You put it under the spot of the other one. The sunsetting out side "um i gotta check out now my uncle wanted me to get pizza and he's probably so Starved" he laughs slightly. As he just gave you an explanation to leave a store. "Well eddie i hope you enjoy your new patches." You say scanning them he smiles "ya know im thinking ill need more tomorrow if a certain pretty girl will be here." He leaned foreword and winked playfully. And you handed him the patches and he stepped out the clear glass door and you watch as he fist pumped in the air then basically skipped away.

look for part two with hash tag

A date em

[dinitride-art]

Au fics that i think are neat and that i want to compile into a list because im trying to figure out how to comment on a chapter of a fic but i need time to sort out my thoughts (usually for fic recs i try to rec fics with less kudos/engagement because reasons but im just gonna throw everything in this list. probably multiple fics by the same author in the same universe because thats the one im trying to sort out my thoughts on.)

the strawberries are dying by eggowlss - historical fiction and very interesting character relationships and also character exploration within the time period. I really like this one because the pacing and tone are very gentle. There’s a srt of ebb and flow to the story that makes both the time period and the characters really fit into it. idk how to describe it i just like it a lot.

in the quiet of the night (acswy ao3 series) - they’re putting those characters in situations. It’s a very good time. 10/10 do recommend. If you haven't heard of this one though, it’s basically a modern au where everyone works at a summer camp and Mike and Will cause problems for themselves, each other, and usually everyone else around them. 

si vis amari, ama by perexcri - demons and angels and heaven and hell and its honestly just one hell of a story. like ive got vivid images in my head of scenes i imagined when reading this. 

you start to kiss (and the record skips) by eclipseadventure - this is a band au with a side of a secret relationship and im a sucker for secret relationships. a bit of drama/high stakes in here too which is always pretty fun. 

End Racism on the OTW! - you and me and the horrible teenaged ghost who keeps eviscerating himself in our apartment makes three by TheWrongKindOfPC - i am also a sucker for buzzfeed unsolved aus. buzzfeed unsolved, hauntings, ghosts, yknow the fun stuff. 

into the daylight by andiwriteordie - THIS IS NOT THE FIRST ONE, it’s just the first one that came up in my bookmarks. anyways, this is the second fic in a fantasy au series. The worldbuilding is really cool and there’s magic and history and politics and i like it a lot. the most recent chapter is spinning around in my mind.

the heartbreak prince by andiwriteordie - THIS IS THE FIRST ONE. 

beneath these boughs, my devotion blooms by perexcri - this is the fic that nearly killed me. i literally cant summarize it because im still recovering from what happened to me when i read it. Did i read it in april? Maybe. Listen, it had me asking questions about things i had never considered before. its 11k but im pretty sure it took me a good few hours to read because it made me think about it so much. again, ive got a bunch of visuals running through my head. its just... so much.

sweetheart, you're so cruel by perexcri - Mike’s in a band, Will’s a music snob, they’re both contemplating their life choices. very fun, very interesting, also made me think about some things. 

keep it hush by wiseatom - theres an amusement park and the horrors of customer service. and some other stuff but basically its pretty bright (the visuals of the fic in my head are bright- like sun glinting off metal- and idk how else to describe it)

the start of an age by delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy) - this ones funny and serious at times and its got Max in it. fantasy au with prince will and knight mike and a secret relationship and a small scheme between three parties that involves a fake (ish) marriage. 

superhero therapy by silverluminoqity - spiderman au with a side of trauma and healing? it’s complicated theres stuff happening, i had a good time reading it. 

you've got this spell on me by andiwriteordie - this one was really fun. basically its a fantasy au theres magic and mike gets himself hit with a spell that makes him fall in love with will and will freaks out about it for a while.

Daydream by disaster_energy - i really really liked this fic. its a fantasy au and its got gods and stuff and will gets chosen by the moon goddess because hes Will and everyone is like... woah.

takes one to know one by andiwriteordie - i also liked this one a lot, its a superhero au and its got ironic (like... dramatic irony- i think is what im talking about? maybe? but like fun irony) secret identities. 

Love goes 'round by evil_ontheinside - conversations in a laundry mat. mikes flopping (as in, flopping around like a fish) around a bit and this was pretty cute. 

my promise could be your fiend (could be the smallest of signs) by s0ld_it - spider man au, theres a bookstore involved and a lot of stuff. ive read this fic twice and greatly enjoyed it both times. 

Tip-toeing on Lily-pads by cherryisgone - very very fun, fantasy au and... mike gets cursed to be a frog. can only be un-cursed with a kiss. 

filling in the blanks as we go by delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy) - bookstore meetcute

there’s more but i spent all day painting my room and i am tired. Ive also got way too many bookmarks to go through and i have decided to stop here. still haven't figured out how to write that comment (but i am working on it because i love the fi(s) and ive been thinking about one specific thing that came up in a new chapter for so long). anyways, i hope someone enjoys this list of au fics from my bookmarks. 

[hadeslegacyhephgirl]

It was 6 in the morning when Nico received the phone call from Lou Ellen.  

"Whaaaat" 

"It's Will, Nico. He's in a coma" 

The words crashed into him like a tsunami. Fear and worry made a home in his chest 

"Where are you?"  "Hospital"  "… what?"  "Ambulance go there before I could call anyone. And our chariot crashed bad, it's basically disintegrated" 

"I'm going to wake Jason and Kayla and meet you there"  "Can you get Annabeth and Cecil, too?"  "Why?"  "Annabeth 'cause I'm gonna need brains here. Cecil because- just- because"  "Fine. Where?"  "Carra Hospital, Room 304, I'll send you a picture"  "I'll be there in 10"  He hung up  

Waking everyone up was… mixed.  

All Jason and Kayla had to hear was 'Will' and they got up immediately. 

Cecil only came when he heard Lou was there. 

Annabeth insisted they take along Piper and Percy. 

So it was a party of seven that turned up in room 304. 

Cecil wrapped Lou in a hug from behind as Lou talked to Annabeth, who was holding Percy's hand. Kayla and Piper went to see if they could charmspeak a nurse to bring another IV for the nectar Kayla had brought, and Jason went along just in case there were monsters. 

Leaving Nico standing by Wills bed, staring at his wounds. 

He counted each and every nick and scratch on Will's face and arms (37) and took in the propped up, bandaged leg. 

Suddenly he couldn’t bear to be so far away from Will.   He climbed into the bed and tucked himself between Will's side and arm, nesting his head on Wills chest, closed his eyes and let the tears come 

~*~ (Will) 

It was dark 

He felt around 

There was a fuzzy silence  

He couldn't remember anything 

Except that he was a boy 

Chink 

He looked up. Something, a piece of light hung in the air. He touched it. 

"Boy"  "7 boys, two girls"  "Hey, boy-o" 

Oh. 

These were memories. 

So he had to piece himself back together. 

He could do that. 

He will do that. 

Chink 

Another shard of light, right next to the first. 

"Will"  "Hi, Will"  "Will?"  "William!" 

His name was Will 

There was solace in knowing his own name 

Chink 

This time, only one voice rang out 

"Solace"  The voice sounded annoyed, slightly raspy with a slight Italian accent.  

This time it was accompanied by a picture. 

Two dark brown eyes, so big and beautiful, yet so dark and knowing they looked like they were staring into your soul. 

The image hung in the air, away from the other chinks of light. Like the beginning of a picture. One he would figure out. 

~*~ (Nico)     

"Should we wake him up?"  "Nah, leave him. You know he can't live without his Will"  "What if he never wakes up, though?"  "He will. He has to. Besides, Nico wouldn't let him die"  "But-"  "No buts. We'll contact Hades, Hypnos, Apollo, anyone that can help. We're not losing him" 

Nico drifted in and out of sleep, not wanting to confront the waking world, but scared of the nightmares that threatened to take him. 

Finally he opened his eyes to find Jason sitting in the visitor chair. 

"Hey, Neeks."  "What time is it?"  "A little past-"  He checked his watch 

"- one in the afternoon. Listen, we're gonna get Will outta here."  "how?"  "Piper'll be here in a few minutes with the van, Kayla and Annabeth. She's gonna charmspeak him out." 

Nico looked down at Will and grabbed his hand.  "We're getting you out of here, Will. So don’t you dare go dying on me."    ~*~ 

My name is Will Solace  I am 17 years old  I am one of Apollo's children  My home is Camp Half-Blood  I'm a doctor, medic, head councilor 

I have siblings, family, friends.  And I will get out of here. 

~*~ 

"Careful!"  "We are being careful!"  "… sorry" 

They loaded Will into the back of the van 

Piper had, quite literally, worked like a charm. Within ten minutes they had Will on a transportable gurney and out the hospital. 

It was a silent drive back to camp 

~*~    He'd done it. 

The door was nearly complete. A door of light, of memory. The chinks of light had formed the rectangular shape as he'd gathered more and more information. 

All that was missing was a doornob. 

The picture was done too. 

A picture of a boy with raven black hair framing milky white skin and big brown, almost black eyes. Dressed in a leather jacket with ripped black jeans and a black shirt that read Camp Half-Blood 

But it felt wrong. 

Like there was something missing. 

The boy's name. 

He began looking though the memories of the door, each piece a word with memories attached to it. 

Then he remembered. 

There was one that only had one memory attached 

Maybe it was longer? 

Hesitantly he touched it. 

"Solace" 

Silence. He waited  "Fine." The Italians voice again. 

"There we go. See, it wasn't so hard, was it?" His own voice now.  "But just three days, you hear me?"  "Sure, unless I need to keep you longer"  "Solace, I swear-"  "C'mon, Neeks."  "Do not call me that"  "Alright Death Breath-"  "Or that"  "Zombie Lord?"  "Absolutely not. It's Nico, full stop"  "Alright, Sunshine"  "… that's okay too, I guess" 

Ding 

The picture of the boy - Nico - suddenly seemed vibrant, alive. 

And the door had a doornob. 

Hesitantly he reached for it. 

Back home. 

Back to Nico 

If there was any chance the son of Hades could love him back. 

~*~ 

It had been a week since Will had gone under the coma. 

Five days since he'd been moved to the infirmary 

Jason had given up on trying to get Nico to leave Wills bedside, except to shower every so often. 

So it was just Will and Nico and silence. 

Silence that was broken with a raspy voice coming from the bed 

"Nico?" 

Nico looked up into Wills brilliant blue eyes that were open and he was awake. 

A sob wrenched from his throat and he flung himself into Wills arms. 

"Hey, Sunshine. How long has it been?" 

Nico sniffed and buried his head into Wills shoulder. 

"A week"  "oh."  Nico sniffed again and looked up into very much open celeste blue eyes  "But your back now, right?"  "Yeah, Sunshine. I'm right here. And I always will be." 

~*~ 

[pimosworld]

The story of us chapter 4

Triple frontier boys x f!reader

Summary-Set before you and the boys are officially together and how it came to be.

CW-18+,MDNI,angst,fluff,comfort,mutual pining, illusions to sex. No further warnings as to not spoil the story

WC-3.6k

Chapter summary-Benny takes you on a date.

Notes-See series Masterlist for full story notes. This chapter is so fluffy I couldn’t handle it. Benny being his sweet adorable self and Frankie being a tad jealous.

[Series Masterlist][Main Masterlist]

Not beta read

Chapter IV Going steady ————————————

You don’t know how you ended up in this situation,Your back pressed against Frankie’s chest as he winds his arms around you pulling you closer, Benny is placing soft feather light kisses up your legs as you’re trembling trying to keep your nerves at bay. You’ve never felt so exposed and aroused at the same time. You can feel Frankie’s growing bulge pressed into your back as he kisses and nips at your neck,the sensations of both of them too much and not enough at the same time. Frankie squeezes your breast through your lace bra causing a small gasp to leave your lips as Benny breathes a hot breath just over where you need him the most. You ball your fist in the sheet as you attempt to keep your whines to yourself. 

  “She’s so responsive and we’ve barely touched her.” Frankie’s voice in your ear is dripping with lust as he glides his hand down your stomach.

  “You should see how wet she is, Fish, it’s a beautiful sight.” Your lace panties are soaked with your arousal and you should be embarrassed at how on display you are but your body is on fire. Desperately wanting them to touch you more and more. 

  “I don’t need to see Ben,I can just feel.” Frankie slowly trails his fingers down lower tucking just above your waist band, you arch your back into his touch as you gasp for air. It’s like the air can’t reach your lungs and suddenly you're panicking. How did you get here? What is happening? 

  Your vision is starting to blur and you think you may be having a panic attack as you jolt upright…alone in your room. You’re in your bed, still fully clothed from last night as you try to gain your bearings. 

  The early morning sun is just starting to peek through your windows as you calm your breathing. You lay back with a thud on your pillow as you stare at the ceiling unsure of what just transpired. 

  Did you seriously just have an almost sex dream about two of your best friends? 

  Grappling with the fact that you’re upset it ended so soon. You had a boyfriend less than 24 hours ago. It’s too soon to be having these thoughts, or maybe it’s too late. 

  You need a shower and some food and maybe a therapist to help figure out these thoughts, but first shower.You make your way to your attached bathroom and peel off your clothes from last night, stopping first to admire yourself in the mirror. It’s the first time in months despite your dream that you’ve felt this good. Mike had completely destroyed your self esteem, it wasn’t like you to feel such negative thoughts about yourself. You’ve always been confident in your appearance and the way you carried yourself. It’s like you’re looking at a new person but somehow the same person from before. 

  As the hot water washes over you, you can wash away all the things you’ve held back for the last several months. It’s not bittersweet at all,knowing your boys all but forcibly removed him from your life so that you could live a better one. 

  You can’t kick the feeling from your dream, what it felt like having them touch you, or imagine what it would feel like as you draw your fingers between your legs. Touching yourself where you wanted Frankie to, as he almost did before your brain rudely ripped you from your fantasy. Your fingers aren’t nearly as big and long as his as you slowly pump your fingers, your thumb drawing circles around your clit as your breathing picks up. Soft whimpers of his name leave your lips as you come down from your climax. 

  ****

  “Remind me to never sleep on the floor again.” Santi groans and stretches his back as he sits up against the couch. Silently cursing himself for not jumping on the guest bedroom before Will.

  “Well at least you didn’t have Ben's foot in your face all night.” Frankie is somehow sandwiched between both of Ben's legs and unsuccessfully tries to pry the younger man off. 

  “I slept great.” Ben's muffled voice into the couch pillow is barely audible. 

  Will saunters into the room looking pleasantly pleased with himself and definitely well rested.

  “I’m gonna start some coffee, and see what she’s got in the fridge for breakfast.”

  “I’ll help,I need to get off this hard floor before I end up stuck here.” Santi isn’t sure what creaks the most when he stands,the floor or his bones and he can hear Benny chuckling into the couch pillow. 

  “I’ll go check on sleeping beauty.” Frankie tosses the younger man aside so he can stand and stretch. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and pick up the living room.” He groans but obeys. 

  Frankie knocks lightly on your door awaiting a response before he slowly opens it. You’re not in the bed obviously as he takes in your clothes from last night leading a trail to the bathroom. He can hear the water running through the small crack in the door.

  He hasn’t been in your room in awhile as he makes his way over to your dresser, a small smile tugs at his lips as he stares at the photo of the five of you in delta. You’re sprawled across them as they hold you up, Ben insisted on the photo and Tom begrudgingly took it not wanting to be a part of the “shenanigans” as he put it. 

  He’s pulled from the memory as he hears you crying? Of course you’re upset, the dramatics of the entire night probably caught up with you this morning. He hopes you’re not having second thoughts but how could you want someone like Mike back in your life. They should leave when you’re out of the shower to give you some privacy. 

  Your cries turn to whimpers and he faintly hears his name, suddenly his feet don’t work as he’s rooted to the spot in your room. 

  “Frankie.”

  He’s absolutely sure of it now and he still can’t will his feet to move, he wants to move toward you but that would be inappropriate. Maybe not more inappropriate than what he was currently doing. He knows what you’re doing in the shower but he can’t let his mind wander too far into why you’re saying his name. If he does he’ll have a hard time explaining the growing bulge in his pants or why he’s been in your room for so long. 

  The sound of the shower turning off finally has him moving quickly out of the room before you emerge from the bathroom in whatever state you’re in that certainly wouldn’t help him. 

  “Did you help our girl wake up?” Benny says from the kitchen island already eating of course. 

  “What!…no she was awake, she was in the shower.” He’s stammering over his words as if they had any idea what he heard. 

  Get a grip man

  “She’ll be out soon I’m sure.” Will looks at him awkwardly over his coffee mug as Frankie slides up next to Benny. 

  Santi hands him a mug of black coffee as he raises an eye at him. “ You look like you need this…maybe too much tequila last night?”

  Frankie takes off his signature cap as he runs his fingers nervously through his hair. “Ya maybe.”

  ****

  The smell of coffee and bacon wafts through your house as you make your way to the kitchen. 

  Santi,Frankie and Will are settled at your kitchen table engaging in quiet conversation. The sight is so domestic and welcoming you can't help the smile that spreads across your face. You missed this so much, it’s hard to press down the pang of guilt that you feel for shutting them out of your lives for someone who didn’t deserve to be a part of it. 

  You don’t have time to comment on Benny missing from the table before you’re  being hoisted in the air causing you to yelp in surprise. 

  “Jesus Ben put her down.” 

  “She’s fine Will, isn’t that right sweetheart?”

  His strength never ceases to amaze you and right now with your dream still fresh in your mind, you wished he would do anything but put you down. 

  “I’ll be fine after some coffee and food.”

  He places you down and turns you to face him as he places a kiss on your forehead. His hands suddenly feel hot on your skin as you stare into those baby blue eyes. Somewhere behind you you hear a throat clear and Benny releases you from his grip.

  “Coffee and food coming right up sweetheart.”

  Frankie sends an interesting look towards Benny but casts his eyes down to his plate once he meets yours. You know he has no idea what you dreamed of or what you did in the shower but you can’t help shake that feeling,like he knows something. He can’t possibly know. 

  “I see we have a thief among us.” Santi grins sickeningly sweet at you as he sips his coffee. 

  “I’m sorry, did I take something from you?” You reach across the table to grab a piece of his bacon as he captures your wrist playfully. 

  “Oh no no, you can’t have my shirt and my bacon.” 

“I’ve taken temporary ownership of this shirt,technically that’s not stealing.” There’s a glint in his eye as he slowly lets go of your wrist. 

  This is a very dangerous game you’re playing 

  “Breakfast is served and coffee is just as sweet as you.” Benny slides into the seat next to you with a plate twice the size of yours. It never ceases to amaze you how much that boy could eat. 

  “Someone’s laying it on thick.” Frankie half mumbles to himself, you don’t catch it but the rest of them do as you all finish your breakfast in silence.

  ****

  “Will I swear if you try and wash those dishes I’m never gonna let you leave,you’ve already done enough.” You gently wrap your arms around his waist and pull him from the kitchen sink.

  “Alright sweetheart but I will be back on my day off to fix that hole, I’m not taking no for an answer.” You raise your arms in defeat knowing that there’s no point arguing once he’s set his mind to something. 

  Being alone sounds like the last thing you want right now but you know they’ve got things to do and you can’t ask anymore of them, at least not yet. Santi leaves first promising to check on you in the coming days. 

  Frankie hasn’t quite been himself since the night before but promises to call you, he said he needed to talk to you in private which wasn’t out of the ordinary but something about it left you feeling uneasy. As Frankie and Will make their way out Ben has made his way into the kitchen to help you clean, so uncharacteristically like him. 

  “Ben let’s go, Frankie is our ride.” Will glances at Ben, words unspoken between them in silent communication. 

  “Ugh ya just give me a minute I’ll be right out.” Will hesitantly waits in the door but acquiesces to head outside. 

  “You don’t have to help me finish, I promise I’ve washed dishes before.” He seems nervous suddenly quieter than you’ve ever known him to be. He looks over his shoulder ensuring you’re alone. 

  “ I was wondering if maybe you wanted to grab dinner and a movie later?” 

  “I’d love to, but I thought the guys were busy tonight?” You haven’t looked up from the dishes so of course you don’t notice him staring at you, hoping you’ll see in his eyes what he’s truly asking without having to say it out loud.

  “No, I…meant maybe just you and I?” You stop for a moment to look at him. It’s the first time since last night that you feel something growing there. A side of him that’s vulnerable and sincere. 

  He’s holding his breath and he’s not sure how long it’s been, seconds or minutes awaiting your response. It’s torture and he thinks maybe he’s misread this whole thing and that Santi was right. He’s completely screwed this up and now he’ll have to live with the awkwardness of your rejection. Maybe he can move to another country like Santi does every few years and you’ll forget he ever asked.

  “I’d love to.” Whatever this is, you know you can’t second guess yourself anymore. You’ll dive headfirst into new territory because the butterflies in your stomach are telling you to leap. You can’t help the laughter that escapes as he lets out an audible breath. 

  “I’ll pick you up at seven, dress casual.”

  “Oh so you’ve had time to think this through, I’m impressed.” His cheeks grow hot at the flattery as you dry your hands and stare deep into his eyes, he leans in pulling you into a hug as he inhales your scent. The honk of Frankie’s truck snaps you out of your blissful moment and you can hear his silent curse as he releases you from his arms. 

  “I’ll see you later,Honey.” 

  Watching him walk the short path down your steps doesn’t feel bittersweet anymore. There’s a new excitement there of what’s to come. 

  ****

Golden Girls

                                 I've got a hot date tonight 😋

  Pope 🙏🏼: Sounds nice who's the lucky guy?

                            Haha obviously it’s Honey

  Bro:Don’t be out late you have training early 

          Ay ay captain 🫡

  BDM🐈🐠:Goodluck 

  I don’t need luck I have my boyish good looks 😏

  Pope🙏🏼: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do

         Poor choice of words 

  Pope🙏🏼: I’m serious 

                I will be on my best behavior

****

  It’s actually pretty embarrassing how much time you’ve spent trying to find something to wear tonight. It’s not like he hasn’t seen you in all your various outfits over the years. Your room looks like a bomb went off as you desperately tried to finish getting ready and notice it’s already 6:45. This is supposed to be a casual date, so why does it feel like you’re going to a highschool dance with your first crush. 

  You finally decide on jeans and a black v neck blouse, heels are definitely too formal so you opt for some strappy black sandals to match. It’s just dinner and a movie get a hold of yourself.

  The doorbell rings a moment later,not to your surprise. You all couldn’t shake the punctuality of being in the military. It dawns on you that you didn’t even bother to ask where you were going or what movie you were seeing,not that it mattered but curiously you wonder what sort of date would Ben plan for you. Not some tinder date or a girl he just met but you.

  When you open the front door you’re greeted by a very smiley handsome man with a bouquet of flowers. A very large bouquet. 

  “I didn’t think it was appropriate to let myself in two nights in a row.” It’s bold of him to try and joke about the previous night's events so soon and perhaps a mistake when your mouth falls agape. But he’s relieved at your laughter as you grab the bouquet with one hand and playfully smack his chest with the other. 

  “Did you buy the entire floral shop?” You tease as you make your way to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase, it’s on a shelf you can’t reach, never bothering to bring it down since Mike never bought you flowers. 

  “I didn’t know if you had a favorite but you don’t seem like the rose type so I picked the rest.” He walks up behind you pressing his back to yours as he reaches above you for the vase. Your heart stops for a moment as you fill the vase with water,he’s barely moved an inch and you can feel the heat radiating off his body. 

  “These are beautiful,thank you.” You turn to face him and finally take in his appearance. He’s wearing a black button down and jeans, his hair is slicked back. You’re so used to his mussed up golden locks that it takes you aback. 

  “We’re matching like those couples who’ve been together a long time.” Oh my god what did you just say. Evidently you want to make this as awkward as possible before the date even starts. 

  “I mean…I don’t mean we’re a couple, it’s just we’re matching and.” He can’t help but laugh, your nervous rambling actually puts him at ease. He had been so nervous all day that it hadn’t occurred to him that you were in the same predicament. 

  “Sweetheart don’t worry, we can pretend to be one of those couples…it’ll be our little secret.” 

  “Oh I’m glad you find this amusing.” You lightly shove at his chest and move to grab your purse from the kitchen table. “By the way I never asked where we’re going.”

  “Well you know that theater downtown?” You nod patiently waiting for his response. “Once a month they show old movies and I know how much you love Romeo and Juliet, so I figured we could see that.” He shuffles nervously on his feet, watching your movements as you stare blankly at him.

  “We could always do something else if I totally misread this.” It’s your turn to laugh now because of course he remembered how much you loved that movie and why you settled for so long you’re unsure. 

  “I would love to pretend to be a couple and see Romeo and Juliet.” You clasp your hands together and pop your foot as he looks at you unamused.

  “Okay so you think this is funny, well dinner isn’t as romantic unfortunately, I figured since we’re going to the movie first we could get burgers at Jim’s diner down the street.” It’s a relief that you’re not going to a fancy dinner honestly, you don’t think your heart could handle much more. 

  “As long as we share a milkshake like those pretend couples do.” 

  “Sure thing Honey.”

  ****

  You and Ben were having too much fun pretending to be a couple. It helped calm your nerves though. It wasn’t awkward at all when he held your hand to walk into the theater or when he placed his arm around you so that you could rest comfortably on him while you watched the movie. He even went as far as feeding you popcorn despite your protests.

  You could tell that he watched you for most of the film, as hard as he tried to hide it. Every time you looked at him during one of your favorite parts it seemed he was already looking at you. Enjoying the way you were so at peace. He could definitely get used to this. Nothing about it felt wrong, it felt like coming back to a place you had lost. 

  You shared a chocolate milkshake like he had promised and couldn’t contain your laughter when the waitress said you made a very cute couple. 

  He held your hand as he drove you the whole way home and you secretly hoped he wasn’t pretending anymore. 

  “I’ll walk you up to your house like a true gentleman.” Oh, you assumed he would at least want to come in for a little but maybe this was some act to take your mind off the breakup. Maybe you had misread the entire thing and soon things would go back to the way they were. He can sense you’re spiraling, but you’re already opening the car door to evade this embarrassment. 

  “Hey,talk to me where did you go?” He’s practically chasing you as you try to reach your doorstep. 

  “I just thought you might want to come in for a little but…it’s nothing I’m just being sensitive.” Now is absolutely not the time to cry as you try and look anywhere but his concerned eyes. He slowly grabs your hands so as not to startle you as he rubs soothing circles on your wrists. 

  “I would love to come in and stay and continue being a pretend couple but Will has me on a strict schedule and I promised him I’d be home to get some rest.” You can’t say you’re not disappointed but definitely relieved.

  “Sorry I may have overreacted. It's just been a crazy 24 hours.” He laughs and shakes his head as he pulls out his key to your house to let you in. “I promise our next date I’ll stay for as long as you want me too.” He starts the walk down your path and you swear you could get used to him walking away.

  As you close your front door, you’re met with a knock on the other side. He’s standing there waiting on the threshold and you couldn’t wipe the confused look off your face if you tried. 

  “I forgot something.” You don’t remember him bringing anything and you don’t have a chance either as he steps into your space grabbing your face with both hands as he leans in and kisses you. Instinctively you lean into it as he cradles your head and wraps an arm around your waist pulling you into him. It’s nothing like you’ve ever felt and maybe a little like Romeo and Juliet. As you part ways to catch your breath he’s just staring at you with a wide smile on his face.

  “Pretend couples always kiss.” 

  Yes, you were in a very dangerous game. 

Prev/Next

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated

@luciferiorbxtch @casa-boiardi @alwaysdjarin @meveispunk @littlenosoul @evyiione @spngingerbread21 @shesa-riott @quijano5702 @the-fox-den @saturn-rings-writes @romanarose

Tagged a few extra who I thought might be interested in chapter updates

[alaydabug2]

Tag list: @sparklenarniawizard @imobsessed123 @thoughtlescat @ilikebookssomuch

Broken heart/Broken mind

Chapter Fifty-nine

(Human AU)

Sophie and Keefe met in the children's hospital when they were little. Because of how long they were confined to the four walls of the hospital, they became very close during their stay.

As the years pass, they wind up being in the same classroom together due to their physical conditions. This makes their bond deepen.

But are they able to handle when life gets tough, throwing problems and complications their way?

When Sophie finally checked her notifications from the day when she sat down in the car, she choked on her water she was drinking.

It was a text message from Ro saying, 'Hey. Keefe's finally awake.'

When she made sure she didn't drown herself on her water bottle, she started the car. She ignored the speed limit and just hoped she wouldn't get pulled over.

For once in her life, her wish worked out.

By the time she got to cardiology, she was panting out of breath from running all the way there. Still, she paused when she got to the door.

She pushed through her nerves and opened the door. She sucked in a breath.

Ro looked up at her and gave a wry smile. She glanced back down to Keefe. His eyes were open now, staring blank at the wall.

Sophie sat down beside the bed and took his hand.

"Hey Keefe," she whispered. "How do you feel?"

He never looked away from the spot on the wall. She glanced nervously at Ro.

"He's alright," She assured her. "He's just... not really himself, right now."

Oh, Sophie could imagine. But that didn't explain why he wasn't acknowledging anything around him.

She brushed his hair back from his forehead. That seemed to get his attention. His eyes lazily found hers. He stared at her for a moment before closing his eyes.

After a few seconds, he let out a groan and rolled toward Sophie on his side. Ro leaned forward and rubbed his back.

"The nurse should be back soon," she told him. "He'll have you some pain meds."

"Has he said anything since waking up," Sophie asked.

"A little," Ro told her. "He asked where he was and what happened. Repeated my name a few times. Other than that, he's been silent."

The door opened, and Elwin came through the door, wheeling in a sonogram machine. He went to the IV pole and placed a new bag on it. While he was getting set up, Keefe seemed to calm down and roll back onto his back.

Sophie moved out of the way and joined Ro on the other side of the bed. Elwin helped Keefe pull down his hospital gown for the Echo.

Elwin took the doppler and squeezed the gel on it before taking it to Keefe's chest. Sophie looked at the monitor when an image popped up on the screen.

The heartbeat sounded strange. She couldn't quite point out what it was about it, but she was afraid of the implications of it.

"Is his heart supposed to sound like that?" She finally had to ask.

"Oh, that's just a murmur," Elwin informed. "It's when blood tries to go back out when a valve closes. It's usually harmless." He turned to Ro. "I'm going to assume that he's had that for a while."

"He has," she confirmed.

After a few more minutes, Ro shifted and turned to Sophie. She glanced out the door. Sophie took the hint and followed her outside.

"Ok," Ro sighed. "Don't tell Keefe this yet, but I need to talk to you about something."

"Ok," she said slowly. "What is it?"

Ro leaned against the door. "Well... they already did a catheter when he first got here to temporarily help with his blood flow, but... it's not going to be a permanent solution. His artery is really weak, and it was collapsing in on itself, causing the blockage. They're going to have to do a bypass on him."

It took her a minute to realize what that meant. "They're... going to have surgery on him?"

She nodded. "They want to also try and replace his valve while he's opened up so he doesn't need another one just for that in like, two years. But... I know he's probably not going to take it very well. I just figured I should let you know what's going on. "

"Thank you," Sophie told her. "I'll keep quiet. Do you know when they're planning it for?"

"They're shooting for the end of this week. Probably this Thursday or Friday. They're trying to get it done quickly so the artery doesn't have a chance to close itself off again. The stint will only be able to do so much."

She nodded. "Tell me when, please. I want to be there."

"Of course." Ro wrapped an arm around Sophie and gave her a squeeze. She glanced toward the door. "We should probably head back inside."

Sophie nodded her agreement.

[chaoticmannamedoliver]

Okay so, below is a health ish update and a vent about my former GP- cause they did smth that feld dehumanizing. This is mostly just so other people who might have similar health issues to me, can point me into right directions....im iffy about doctors rn-

Contents:

- stupid thing my GP did

- listing of my pains i have that neither of my 2 GP's ive been to acknowledged or bothered with. If you have something similar or know ANYTHING, i really need help, even just little things to make it easier.

- So, what my last gp did -

So i had an appointment with her recently that i took my boyfriend too since he was visiting me anyway- love him

I sat down, and the whole appointment was just a disappointment. She basically gave up on figuring out why im dizzy or why my blood pressure is so high with 18. I asked what im supposed to do with my heart, what im supposed to do about the dizzy- that i came to her for answers- but the woman who seemed so keen on finding out whats wrong with me, cursing my first gp for just prescribing me HBP Meds without further research and who daid she loved working with young adults...just apparently gave up n said is nothing n that i should just continue talking my meds. I had my shitty ass cane to the appointment with me, which she asked about - and i said it helped me with my dizzy, to which she rolled her eyes

She offered one more test, probably just to get me out and left for a bit to talk with a doctor. In the meantime i had a breakdown because i got no answers- and didn't get any further.

When she came back, she told me to get up and go straight, i asked to where exactly- then she grabbed my arm, took my cane from me and with a very uncomfortable grip, dragged me to the waiting area in front of the room for the last test and sat me down, giving the cane to my probably very taken aback partner who had followed us and mutteredthat i didn't need it and. I had another breakdown and didn't understand what happened yet- but it felt bad, dehumanizing?? GP asked me not to cry, and that what she did was just to give me courage and then just left. It felt like she never listened to anything i said- and i still don't know what to make of what happened - if anyone has suggestions- do tell? It felt....hurtful

- My issues and ows and whatnot -

So, there are a few, especially now that i have someone who actually tells me that they're not normal.

- my feet/heels start hurting after 5 ish minutes of standing

- i get dizzy if i stand for a minute or two on bad days and good days it kicks after 1-10 minutes

- heat and shower makes dizzy worse. A sitting think in the shower would make it better

- i have too high blood pressure if i don't take the meds.

- no, the dizzy doesn't come from any ear organ stuff. Tested that.

- the dizzy had gotten. Better after the meds, now its hard to tell.

- sometimes my gravity just says no.

- after maybe 30 min to an hour of walking, my feet/heels hurt. After a certain point i get dizzy. Then no amount of break will fix it. I need to lay down.

- without my cane, walking feels heavy. Please let me use my cane for fucks sake im going to hit the next doctor who says i don't need it i swear to GOD.

- growth pain. After a day of walking. Or cleaning. My knees and shins hurt. Especially once im laying again. They hurt so much that i want to claw at them. Take them out. Agony. Luckily ive started to recognize the kinda pain early and take a paracetamol- but without it? Not matter what position, im in pain

I don't think im supposed to have growth pain anymore with almost 19, right?

- when i get dizzy, the ground feels like its zooming away from me

- i was born at the end of the 6th month? If that helps any-

- inherited migraines from my dad- also just side info

[kk095]

Gabby’s Cardioversion

*hey everyone! I came up with a new story and wanted to try something different. Hope you all like it!*

On a chilly fall evening, an ambulance arrives at our emergency department where our usual team waits in the trauma room. In come Tracy and Stephanie with the next patient. “37 year old female, fainting episode but regained consciousness. Patient is complaining of chest pains, palpitations, and dizziness. EKG abnormal, tachy at 140bpm.” Stephanie rattles off. On that gurney was Gabby, the 37 year old basketball coach at the local college. She had fainted during practice that evening and one of her players called 911. Gabby was a tall glass of water, standing at 6’3, with a slim but toned, athletic build. She had blonde hair that was usually in a ponytail, beautiful bluish gray eyes, and had a cute tomboy appearance. Gabby was sitting in the upright position on the gurney when she was brought in, stripped down to just her purple sports bra and matching underwear (the team’s primary color of course). She had EKG electrodes stuck onto her chest, had IVs going in both arms, and had a nasal cannula in her nostrils. Coach Gabby was visibly uncomfortable, clenching her chest with one hand, groaning every so often.

Gabby was transferred onto the table, where she still sat in the upright position. “My chest…” Gabby says to herself, still clenching her chest, taking a few breaths. Dr Sarah lowers her stethoscope onto the coach’s chest for a listen. It sounded like Gabby’s heart was going to leap right out of her chest, but at the same time, there were no abnormal heart sounds, and her lungs were clear. “lets get labs going. Let’s do a CBC, BMP, tox screen, cardiac enzyme test, and a d-dimer. We gotta know what we’re up against.” Said Lindsay, taking some initiative in the situation. The team asked Gabby a handful of questions: “has anything like this happened before?” “any history of heart problems?” “any drug use?” “any other health problems that need to be disclosed?” But the answer to all these questions remained consistent- no!

“I wonder if I’m just stressed out. We haven’t had the best season, and rumor has it they’re gonna get rid of me if the season doesn’t turn around.” Gabby said, trying to take a stab as to why she was in our emergency department. The team continued to wait on labs, so the doctors decided to do a chest x ray and an echocardiogram to see if that could shed any light on the coach’s issues. The chest x ray showed completely normal anatomy, as did the echocardiogram- back to the drawing board. Since the ER team couldn’t find an obvious cause for the coach’s ailment, they decided to treat the symptoms and see if that helped. Gabby was given meds via IV to calm her heart down, and to help with her chest discomfort.

The evening droned on and coach Gabby only appeared to be getting worse. Her heart rate was still high, and her was EKG definitely off. “Something’s off with the QT interval. I know it might be subtle, but something just doesn’t look right there.” Said Lindsay, taking a long, detailed look at Gabby’s EKG. “she’s tall, so I wonder if she has undiagnosed Marfan syndrome or EDS?” Sarah suggested. “Yeah, but wouldn’t there have been a structural heart issue or something else we could work with on either chest x ray or the echo?” Lindsay rebutted. “Could be an electrical issue, but I wanna see what the labs end up saying. Is she on something? Are her electrolytes out of whack? Is there a blood clot or heart attack? There’s a lot consider.” Sarah countered. The two doctors respectfully disagreed with one another, unable to figure out what was wrong with the coach.

More time had passed, and coach Gabby’s vitals were starting to become worrisome. Her heart rate was through the roof, in the verge of v-tach. Gabby was leaning back with her eyes shut, holding her chest, moaning from the worsening pain she was experiencing. The monitors were chirping loud and fast, and only got faster. “I’ve got stable v-tach on the monitors.” Nurse Nancy tells the two doctors. At that point, Gabby’s bra was snipped off and the defibrillator pads were stuck onto her bare chest. “gabby? Your heart is in a dangerous rhythm. We have to give your heart a quick shock to make it all better, ok?” Dr Lindsay attempted to explain. “just make it stop…” coach Gabby replies, visibly uncomfortable. The doctors wanted to start Gabby off with a smaller jolt, so they went with 125j. The pads were charged up, and the first shock was delivered. Gabby’s body tensed up and her shoulders shrugged forwards. “AHH!” Gabby winced, feeling the electricity run through her. Post shock, the team looked at the monitor. “she’s still in stable v-tach. Let’s shock at 150.” Sarah decided. “Gabby? The first shock didn’t work, so we’re gonna do it 1 more time.” Lindsay explained. The defib pads were charged up to 150 joules, and the shock button was hit. Gabby jolted sharply, making strong fists with both her hands, letting out a yelp from the pain of the shock. Dr Lindsay lowered her stethoscope onto the coach’s bare chest and listened to her heart, and Sarah studied the monitors for a moment. “no change. Let’s go again at 175.” Said Sarah. The electrical whirring sound of the pads charging filled the room, followed by a weak thump when the shock was delivered. Her body tensed up and her toes scrunched up at the end of the table, showing off prominent, medium sized wrinkles in the soles of her size 14 feet. “pleaae… make it stop…” Gabby said in a worried tone, on the verge of tears. The rhythm wouldn’t go away, so it was decided to shock Gabby again at 200. Her long, slender body twitched sharply in reaction to the next shock. “am I gonna die? I don’t wanna die…” a terrified Gabby asked. “charge again to 225.” Sarah said. “no! Please…no more! No more!!!” coach gabby begged. Her chest shot forward and her back arched, but it didn’t look quite the same as the typical Hollywood style defibs since she was sitting in the upright position still. The next shock was at 250. The tall blonde winced in pain once more from the shock. She leaned back and her eyes opened wide, taking rapid, shallow breaths. She mouthed “I don’t wanna die” to Dr Lindsay, but didn’t have the energy to get the words out.

Suddenly, coach Gabby’s rapid breaths came to an abrupt stop. Her pretty blue eyes remained wide open, staring up above with an absolutely terrified expression on her face. “she’s in v-fib! Lower the bed and start compressions!” Dr Lindsay shouted urgently. The bed was lowered, and nurse Heather began going to town on Gabby’s chest. Her chest caved in, and her toned belly and abs bounced outwards. “I’m intubating. 8.0 ET and a laryngoscope.” Sarah called out. “pushing epi and atropine.” Lin announced. Heather continued pumping the coach’s chest, and Sarah got the breathing tube in, securing it with a blue tube holder. Once she was intubated and the meds were in, it was decided to switch over to the defib paddles. The pads were quickly peeled off, and the paddles were gelled, charged up to 250, and pressed up against the coach’s bare chest. Her chest was picked up and her arms flailed weakly towards the center of her body before falling limp again. “no change, charge to 300.” Lindsay ordered. KA-THUNK!!! The shock threw Gabby’s large, lanky body around on the table effortlessly, but didn’t restart her heart. ”360! Everyone….CLEAR!” Sarah called out, pressing the paddles back up against Gabby’s chest. Her feet leapt above the table, slamming back down a moment later, showing off coach Gabby’s hot wrinkly soles once more. “PEA, start compressions!” Lindsay yelled out. Nurse Jamie took over CPR this time, pumping the basketball coach’s rhythmically.

CPR, ambu bagging, and pushing meds went on for a bit. It took some time and hard work from the team, but Gabby converted back to v-fib around 17 minutes into the code. The defibs were gelled, charged to 360, and the next shock was delivered. Gabby’s body jolted violently from the controlled dose of electricity. Her eyes remained wide open, staring up above while the fight for her life went on. The team shocked Gabby another 2 times unsuccessfully, but v-fib looked like it was winning this battle. “should we crack her chest? Get better perfusion?” Lindsay asked. “I don’t know, I’m not feeling it here.” Replied Sarah. A few cycles of CPR and ambu bagging were performed, hoping to stimulate the tall blonde’s heart, but no change was noted. The team defibbed Gabby another 4 times, before flatlining after that last shock. Dr Sarah lowered her stethoscope onto the patient’s bare chest. “no heartbeat. No respirations.” Sarah stepped back, shaking her head. Lindsay did a quick bedside echocardiogram and looked over at the monitor. “no cardiac activity, down 27 minutes, pupils fixed and dilated.” Lindsay added. “it’s over. Time of death, 21:45.” Sarah said reluctantly, pulling the gloves off her hands.

The flatlined monitors were turned off and the ambu bag was detached from the ET tube while her pretty blue eyes stared up above helplessly. The EKG electrodes were plucked off Gabby’s chest, the defib gel was wiped off, and the IVs were taken out. Her body was covered with a sheet, and a toe tag was placed. The toe tag dangled in front of her big, wrinkly, size 14 soles, bringing a sad, and seemingly surprising end to the case.

[not-handsome-enough]

DICK KNUBBLER MAYE STILL BE ALIVE

Kinda

Alright before I do anything take this with a grain of salt, cause it’s probably a continuity error / can be easily explained away BUT if you all would like to hold onto some hope please just hear me out. And also it offers a question for yall.

Alright! So!

On twitter someone had asked Brendon and Gene about Murmaider III and its placement on Dethalbum IV ( which btw shoutout to Gene’s wife that was brilliant ) and Brendon had mentioned that what sets 3 apart from the other two was that it was more dreamlike, and that it was made AFTER Army of the Doomstar. Now since Brendon and Gene weren’t the ones to make the order on the Album we can’t set a timeline for the songs ( though they are set in Brutal to Dreamlike order once again shoutout to Genes wife you goddess ) we can at least say that some songs were made post Army. In fact we could also make some assumptions about what songs were made DURING army. So I’ll separate that list here.

NOTE : YALL DONT NEED TO READ THIS PART THIS IS JUST ME RUNNING WITH “ some songs were made post AOTD which ones could they be teehee “ JUST KNOW MURMAIDER AND SOS WERE AFTER KUBBLER DIED OK SORRy I’m not deleting that whole thing I like it

Songs with “ * “ are canon, the rest are personal interpretation.

DURING ARMY OF THE DOOMSTAR:

* Aortic Desecration ( the first song of salvation but obviously not )

* SOS ( song of salvation )

Gardener of Vengeance ( Nathan directly references this during the scene where he confides in the band and Knubbler that he doesn’t write songs about hope and he’s just doing what he knows. I believe he wrote and recorded this but felt it wasn’t good enough to be the song of salvation and moved on. HOWEVER the language he used could place this as post AOTD because it sounds more like a thrown out there example kinda like how he figured out SOS in the cave )

Poisoned By Food ( Again I think this is a scrapped song of salvation since besides the actual poisoning of food a lot of the imagery feels like the what the metalocalypse was described like )

BLOODBATH ( guess what another scrapped song of salvation. This one feels like a ‘you don’t scare me I’m going to confidently stop you because if I go down you go down with me’ song. Also it could be Nathan trying to reach out to Magnus since he was one of the people on his list. Also quick note I’m going song by song so I don’t know if I’ll notice if any other songs would reflect the list I just got out of work so I’m not gonna catch it all rn )

Horse of Fire ( this is tricky because lyrics like star still blazing allude to this being written before aortic desecration but also Nathan didn’t have the talk with the whale until the deadline came up in which he had to go with aortic desecration <he wouldn’t have had time to write about the fist or the hand.> But the lyrics don’t have the <we should reach out to the fans> revelation that SOS has. Maybe this was a draft for SOS but I think once Nathan figured out what SOS was meant to be it just came to him naturally. I’m not sure. HOWEVER since the doomstar is referred to as a star that is still blazing and not a portal that’s been destroyed it’s safe to say this is not post AOTD. Either way this is an important song to keep in mind if you look at this speculating )

POST ARMY OF THE DOOMSTAR:

* Murmaider III ( stated by Brendon Small in the interview. He said he feels that the boys would have written this after AOTD and based off of interviews he’s had in the past about his songwriting process it’s hard to not take this as canon so. )

DEADFACE ( I think this is post because while the song plays during the movie only Skwisgaar knew about the possession so the lyrics wouldn’t quite make sense yet. It’s a tricky placement but I can see Skwisgaar playing around with it since he does play the notes during the movie )

Mutilation on a Saturday Night ( this feels so much like a we survived so now we’re gonna party song I can’t see Nathan Skwisgaar or Pickles make an argument for this being a Song of Salvation. Also all the fucked up shit they talk about references what happened during the metalocalypse but it’s spoken in past tense like a ‘hey we fucked shit up but we fixed it so now we’re just gonna keep fucking around haha’)

I am The Beast ( simply cause I don’t see this as something Nathan would write during AOTD but the ‘ I am a beast this is my domain and when I speak you scream my name ‘ could work as a salvation line but it feels too much like a Mutilation Saturday Night ‘I can write whatever I want cause I lived and I’m not gonna hold back’ vibe )

Satellite Bleeding ( this feels like the first song they would have written and recorded after the doomstar died. Kinda like watching the sky clear up after a storm. )

Now despite me rambling on about this I would like to draw attention to what’s canon. Specifically SOS and Murmaider III. These songs came out after Knubbler died. Yet Dethalbum IV credits Knubbler for production.

Drawing your attention to how crediting in the Dethalbum works, each album has a little section for Dethklok to get musical credits and thank whoever and whatever. There’s also production credit and location credit. On ALL of the Dethalbums Knubbler is credited as producer. Cause he’s the producer makes sense yeayeyaeyah. But whenever there’s a change in location or production, there’s additional credits.

ANOTHER NOTE: I DONT HAVE THE KLOK OPERA CD I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE CREDITING SYSTEM LOOKS LIKE ON THERE but if someone happens to be selling that cd outside of eBay please let me know

Let’s look at them.

Dethalbum I ^

Shit ton of credits right, and on the other page which I didn’t take a picture of and can’t because I’m not home at the moment there’s credit to Snakes N Barrels for “Kill You” with each member listed. Take note that songs that are considered exceptions are credited differently and locations not at Mordhaus are credited.

I lied I have the other page. For those without the dethalbum cds the actual credits are usually on another page and “Kill You” got mixed in with it

Anyways

Dethalbum II

Hey Knubbies gets to thank someone this time! Anyways once again Knubbler is credited for production, but also Dethklok. Keep this in mind. Also the fact that different location credited for Murmaider II but it’s recorded at Mordhaus

Dethalbum III

Knubbler credit AND Abigail credit along with Dethklok AND once again location credit is Mordhaus and another fuckass place. Only thing that’s not really credited is Magnus with The Hammer but idk if he was like Toki and William where they play the songs but don’t really write or if he actually wrote The Hammer. I’m not a HammerHead, I’ve seen people interpret him as both, but at the end of the day idrk.

So what about Dethalbum IV

Knubbler is credited. At Deus Keep. Only Knubbler. Only at Deus Keep. “But he’s not credited as a Producer” True! If the album was released in universe it would probably be a producer credit. Especially since Brendon and Ulrich have Producer credit on the page prior. Maybe it’s because Knubbler didn’t make it to the final production stage. Or maybe he’s staying hidden undercover..

Remember earlier. He canonically was not around for two of these songs on this album. He could not have recorded OR mixed SOS or Murmaider III. Even if you don’t fully think that Murmaider III was made Post AOTD, SOS was done post Knubbler death. Hell, the song was dedicated to him by William! But there’s no separate credit for SOS.

If we went on the same basis as previous albums SOS would have been credited to that part of Norway where they traveled to that I forgot the name of and I’m not gonna look up but you get the point. Or even Dethklok would have been credited as production. I could also say something about how Murmaider III wasn’t recorded in the Mariana Trench and how the whale isn’t calling to Nathan anymore but that’s for another day. Right now though, it’s just Knubbler. Just Knubbler and Deus Keep.

Which leads to 3 possibilities.

Knubbler Lives: Knubbler survived ( the flashing things on the ground were teleporters ) and Deus Keep is rebuilt. To celebrate their survival they make Dethalbum IV but don’t release it

Knubbler Died: The band recorded the last few songs on the album at the remains of Deus Keep. Knubblers presets aren’t changed so credit remains to him. Once again not releasing it.

It’s not an album: Dethalbum IV doesn’t exist in universe. That’s why there’s no producer credit. That’s why Nathan doesn’t thank the klokateers ( he thanks the army of the doomstar which is just him thanking fans ). Dethklok recording it post AOTD is more to do with how Brendon records dethalbums than in universe writing.

I like to think that this is just an unreleased album in universe since the record label is more than likely destroyed, but it has the possibility of releasing one day if society is rebuilt to what it once was. But it really depends on if you think the album is canon to the universe. Cause there’s no Mordhaus credit on Dethalbum IV and there’s no way for SOS to have been recorded at Deus Keep and blablabla

something fun to think about tho yk?

TLDR: two songs on dethalbum IV were made after Knubbler death yet the credit doesn’t change for him in the dethalbum so there’s a chance that he recorded and mixed those songs cause he is alive and well horray

[transmascxielian]

its MY tumblr blog and i get to painstakingly write out an animatic i'll never make. SO ive got a heaven official's blessing piano man animatic in mind and i just can't shake it

ages ago i was listening and came up with this stupid concept just for the sake of funniness where i was imagining it as xie lian singing, mu qing and feng xin passive-aggressively going back and forth at each other with piano and harmonica respectively, hua cheng backing xl with the accordion, and shi qingxuan playing the lyre/mandolin in the background. and that was it for the longest time and was just a joke. but then i listened again and now have accidentally associated the lines with everyone

'he says 'son can you play me a memory? i'm not really sure how it goes, but it's sad and it's sweet and i knew it complete, when i wore a younger man's clothes''-- this is fairly nebulous because i don't know enough about him (sorry!) but this just makes me think of mei nianqing.

'now john at the bar is a friend of mine, who gets me my drinks for free, and he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke, but there's someplace that he'd rather be'-- shi qingxuan. their whole feeling of lost potential. 'he says 'bill i believe this is killing me', as the smile ran away from his face, 'well i'm sure that i could be a movie star, if i could get out of this place'' once again. you're there and you have a role and youre good at your role. but can't shake the feeling that you could do so much more.

'now paul is a real estate novelist who never had time for a wife, and he's talking with davey who's still in the navy, and probably will be for life'-- this may be a little bit gauche but pei ming and shi wudu. pei ming's fuckboy reputation which may or may not be a front for just not having enough energy to give to one person. and the navy -> sea association aside, spending time with the other person there who can't commit. and they both definitely fucked but regardless of that this brings us onto

'and the waitress is practising politics as the businessmen slowly get stoned, yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone'-- ling wen. reduced to serving the other gods despite being more than capable (or perhaps because she's more than capable) intellectually. finding escapism from this place she's put in through others who are similarly disregarded in a sense based on reputation. the three tumours as three people who bonded initially only out of having nobody else really to turn to.

'it's a pretty good crowd for a saturday, and the manager gives me a smile, cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see to forget about life for a while'-- jun wu, and how xie lian is such an emblematic figure for better or worse, representing everything idealistic and perfect about the heavens, and in the end being such a figurehead (and, when needed, an easy punching bag) that everything wrong with his heavens goes unnoticed for so long.

'and the piano, it sounds like a carnival, and the microphone smells like beer, and they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say 'man, what are you doing here?''-- hua cheng, watching and waiting for him the whole time. giving xie lian support and sustenance in everything he does for the heavens, and never telling him to leave, but wondering the whole time why he does all this for a system that doesn't deserve him. loving him enough to let him live by his own choices, but loving him too much to not be eaten up by watching him do this and receive nothing in response.

this is by no means perfect nor the best character analysis/song application. and it does bug me that nothing stood out to me to be right for mu qing and feng xin (i think about the xianle quartet a lot.) but i had such a vivid feel for everyone i mentioned here that they didn't feel right for the song. anyway if you've read all of this i love you and please talk to me about tgcf