#i just need some good friends like its too much atp

[xiaojaan]

.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Helloooo, I can request omega bakugou helping his mate/alpha ace reader with their rut? I thought it might be sfw since u don't feel like writing smut atp :3

Omega Katsuki Bakugou x Ace Alpha male reader

Headcanons

(aged up characters, obviously)

Seeing ace requests in my inbox always make my smile because, hey, that’s me. Where my ace homies at. I’ve very rarely written omegaverse before, but I got so much worldbuilding about it, if you guys are interested.

I have too much worldbuilding and ideas about Omegaverse, so this is a little out of the norm for your usual smut filled rut plot.

For omegaverse, I never imagine that heats or ruts turn you into a horny breeding crazed animal. Yes, with your mate you will feel a lot more arousal and might have moments where you become fueled by your desires, but the majority can still control themselves.

For you, who’s Ace as well, the breeding part isn’t present more than your bodies instincts, but its nothing extreme. It feels the same as when you are really hungry. Sure, the feeling is there, but you can easily go about your day and not let it bother you.

But ruts do more than just make you want to have a lot of pups and crawl all over your omega, even if your omega is as hot as Katsuki is. It tends to cause a lot of stress on the body, from cramping muscles to overheating, dehydration, pacing and other factors that could lead to stress.

So, in Katsuki’s situation, his job during your ruts is mainly to take care of you. To make sure you’re eating and drinking enough fluids. That you aren’t overheating by patting you down with a cold cloth or using ice packs, or even making you cold baths.

He treats it a lot like a very horribly cold for the most part. Sure, your scent also makes him slick up a little and makes his own scent sweeter and riper, but Katsuki is still clear headed and more focused on taking care of you. Especially when he knows you do the same for him when he has heats.

I imagine Katsuki is still his usual snappy growly self, but he doesn’t yell, since ruts also makes your hearing more sensitive. Instead, he just grumbles a lot. With a lot of insults that has no heat thrown in, just because its Katsuki.

As an alpha, you don’t really need a nest, but you bet your damn ass Katsuki makes you one. And only with the best rut materials out there. He won’t accept anything but the best, and Katsuki honestly stresses more about your rut nest than he does his own heat nest.

It reaches a point where, during the early stages of your rut, you just kinda have to thrown yourself in it and show him you like it and accept it.

I could imagine Katsuki worrying a lot, since he knows your ace and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable with his own scent. Does it bother you that he starts smelling like preheat? Does it make your rut worse? Better? Does he need to leave?

He would also fear crawling into the nest with you, at least in the beginning. After you pull him in multiple times, or tell him to get in, he starts to calm down. You can’t stop him from worrying though, it’s in his blood.

Being ace also doesn’t mean you don’t feel arousal and the like, so if you need to get off, he’s not gonna stop you, and wont touch you unless you want him too. Katsuki knows it won’t go farther than just some touching, if it even gets to that, and he’s more than satisfied.

Having and Ace partner honestly probably helps take some of the stress of his shoulders. He knows you won’t have the same expectations as some other alphas, that he needs to give up on his hero career and be a “good” omega.

Which is also why he’s ready to bend himself backwards to make sure you are comfortable during your rut. Even if staying nearby and taking as much care of you as possible pushes him into preheat, Katsuki is strong enough mentally to keep it bottled up until your rut it over.

This does mean you end up having to take care of him afterwards too, and you gotta call in favors with your friends to cover Katsuki’s patrols, since he didn’t expect to go into heat.

But all in all, ruts with Katsuki are a very planned out affair. Sure, you feel miserable and like you’re boiling on the inside, never able to find a comfortable sleeping position, and like you need to claw your own flesh off. But at least Katsuki is by your side the entire time, ready to hold your hand or hold you as a whole if you need too.

You do have to put up with his nagging though, but you know its just how he shows affection, so in the end it makes you purr at him. Which just gets Katsuki to get all flustered and pretty.

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

reasons i am actually tori spring irl:

impulsively cut hair

fucked up sleep schedule

tumblr addict

depressed - but have some good days

constant suicidal thoughts that i never really acted on

just a bit jealous and just a bit in awe of every friend i make

(i don't make many friends)

questioning (gray) aromantic????

"wtf how do u have all the romantic & sexual attraction thing figured out? i thought you were my friend?? and my age???"

strained relationship with my mother

and father that just doesn't bother atp

so so sensitive and absolutely incapable of showing anything but a "heartless" demeanor

a bit too in-my-own-head

“If you can’t accept things you don’t understand, then you’ll spend your life questioning everything. Then you’ll have to live out your life in your own head.” - charlie popped off there okay (reading that for the first time broke me)

been waiting all my life for my own michael holden

always needs a little sippy drink

like appearing out of nowhere

was genuinely surprised when i found out my "best friend" cared about my life & its well-being

also my best friend, who's much more extroverted and just generally more likable, is a fucking badass and i realized that a bit late

but i smile & hide all of that ^^ cuz the michael kinnie in me is also present :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[devine-fem]

Is it weird to want as much as I desperately want Damian and Bruce to have a good father-son bond,I also want Bruce to have consequences for being a pretty shit dad since Damian has been in his custody?? Alfred has been a better father figure than him and HE RAISED Bruce. I need Talia on his ass like yesterday!!! To be straight up and tell him shit for being a bad dad while he could've been comfortable and loved back with her!! I need Damian's friends to sneer at a legendary hero bc as much at they respect his work they respect Damian more!!!

Also the fact he treats his brown son SO much different than his white ones is fucking crazy bc he's not racist but the writers make it so IT DOES LOOK SO FUCKIN RACIST. Like he treats Tim and even Jason so much better than Damian at times,and Jason and his relationship is LIKE THAT. Dick is ehh with bruce but definitely better than Damian atp. Talia please get yr son away from him 😭😭

I’m bias in a way where I feel like Damian’s relationship with Bruce is very important, it’s just we have been dealt a hand with shitty writers which is sad because writers have done so much to have it be established that Bruce would literally go to hell for his son but like so many writers are so much more interested in showing how Batman and Robin are a power fantasy like they’ve been for years and make Bruce out to be this awful, neglectful parent. I kind of ignore that the same way I do Talia’s morrison stories but I still take in account that I’ll have to assess it. 

I understand its OOC but like how I understand Jason almost killing Damian is OOC and still consider it happened, I also do that for bad dad Bruce. Like those events were too important to Damian’s character to be ignored unfortunately.

I will always prioritize Damian’s relationship with Bruce and Talia over the batboys, including Dick. Dick’s a last resort if those two are not an option. Unfortunately Dick’s relationship with Damian didn’t have a lasting effect on his character like it did Bruce, Talia or even Jon. He’s really just kind of some guy if you really think about it. So, Bruce and Talia and the depiction of the Al Ghuls is my main concern.

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

actual serious pinned because some people dont Understand the other one apparently. i talk about serious things and that does include gore and essentially anything that would need a tw. huge gore draw-er also. serious things basically. most if not all portrayal of mental illnesses is based on my own experiences so do not come here saying you dont like how i show it. that being said my blog is not all entirely about that and its mostly silly and or shitposts actually. also i actually dont usually tw things uhmm. were playing roulette here. basically if you get triggered by anything i wouldnt recommend being here its always a 50/50 on if i post something silly or traumatic

do Not post my art uncredited unless ur a mutual or i say its fine im serious idgaf if its just a silly doodle

standard dni i guess. racists terfs homophobes proshippers zoophiles. all that. also people that ship Real Life People Instead Of The Characters. youre all fucking weird and i dont want you here ill actively make fun of you and then block

i am pro endo and i have endo friends so if you dont like that its ultimately up to you if you wanna be here or not. most htfasj fans have me blocked but if you are one and you dont ur on thin ice bro. im not forgiving any of you for fucking jumping me for saying i wasnt a fan of it. also please for the love of god if you ship glsneeg with any of the other characters do Not talk to me about it because there is a good chance i will throw up in my mouth and block you. glanboo/hetch shippers on thin ice. guy who came up with that kind of ruined it for me and now it just makes me feel uncomfortable most of the time

i have autism and im gay and i use faggot. i have some other problems that will fuck me up or that ill talk about sometimes but thats all you really need to know so im not going to dox my medical problems here

less important stuff under cut heart emoji

nearly everyone i interact with calls me sneegen. idc if new people do its basically my government name atp

this blog is genloss themed but also i talk about my genloss ocs more than the actual thing now 😓 still a huge genloss fan but sneeg and frank are the only guys ill ever talk about in there and i will throw up slash negative if i have to talk about glanboo. do NOT come here asking about glanboo unless ur a mutual im serious. i take sneeg/frank and the horror that comes with it so violently seriously and overall theres a few genloss ships i like so if ur one of those guys that think any shipping is weird you probably wont like it here. also i usually dont use any of the main tags for. anything i post. if you wanna find something youre stuck to manually searching just like everyone else sorry

kind of multifandom i guess. i have moments where i get really fixated on other media and i post about it for a bit. sneegsnag is usually a common factor in this. heavily into marble hornets creepypastas tmnt dantdm jacksepticeye and markiplier. both of their ego content and any of marks projects by extension. not into ethan nestor As Much but he is included and so is blankgameplays. i like qsmp but if i talk about it its only ever abt qsneeg or qcharlie or qdantdm and his family sometimes. osmp enjoyer but again ill only talk about sneeg if i talk about it at all

the biggest music enjoyer in the world guys. not a professional but i will talk about songs i like sometimes. tfb and teenage disaster mostly i think. maybe typhoon and bcnr also. maybe even alot of midwest emo because im a loser. im literally tfbs biggest fan guys

for my dumbass ocs i do talk about and draw them Alot. and theres alot of heavy stuff in their stories so like. if you get badly triggered by gore or murder especially i wouldnt. recommend reading into them too much. but idrk why youd be here if you did thats like my whole thing really. i dont usually talk about the actual triggering stuff in their stories i think at most ill make a vague comment that implies something but thats about it

you are allowed to draw and write and make hcs and aus for my guys i actually actively encourage it and also show me when you do i think its wonderful. ill talk about them forever if you ever wanna know something just ask and theres a 85% chance ill actually answer it

the only things im 100% serious about for my ocs is that theres canon ships for a reason. i do not give a FUCK if you think a different one is better or interesting because its not. if you come into my asks shipping anything that isnt canon im actually going to block you. im very nitpicky about this because they are My creations and every single thing about them is heavily important to me. also if you baby or demonize any of my ocs im allowed to kill you legally btw.

[etherealising]

well…🤭 honestly i’m pretty much dropping them as a whole i fear. i did a rewatch like a month or so ago and it hit me then (especially rewatching s2) but after watching that trailer for the third time it’s official. I think in the beginning i wanted sydcarmy sooo badly i was willing to overlook the red flags (and we all know how many there are 💀) but i just can’t do it anymore. while i still acknowledge the intimate moments they shared together i just view them as *pause for dramatic effect* platonic. they share a platonic intimacy that YES is stronger than whatever that was b/w camry and claire s2. but it still feels just that, platonic. i think we don’t see those kinds of dynamics enough. carol and daryl from twd are a great example i think (i’ll add a text i sent to a friend a while ago where i explain further). while i believe that syd and camry understand each other in a way that no one else can, i still think sydney deserves so much better than carmen. i think he uses and abuses her and that if people loved her like they say they do, they would want more for her. she can’t fix him y’all and neither can claire but honestly she can go ahead and take him off our hands if she wants to try so bad. she has dreams and ambitions that are greater than a romantic relationship with camry. we saw how her and richie stepped up and ran shit in the season 2 finale. he needs her and not the other way around. say they do get together. do we think those anger issues and erratic and abusive behaviors are just gonna cease to exist? that man needs therapy and years of it before he’d ever be good enough for her as a romantic partner. hell, he’s a shitty business partner! (and i’m not saying he needs to be a completely healed person to be worthy of love let’s be clear, syd need therapy too.) i say, introduce someone new for sydney! or just let her be, that’s also an option. but yeah i think i’m done. also i’m hoping the writers let her and marcus stay friends cause it’s giving little bro 😬. (just another example of a man mistaking a woman’s kindness for flirting let’s be real) she needs friends anyway and because what other ones does she have? (please don’t say camry, that man is not her friend 😭. they’re kinda like family atp. 🫣🤷🏾‍♀️ ) and marcus may need someone like sydney to talk to anyways if what i fear may happen, happens this season for him.

i tried so hard to respond to all of your points and then i started ranting but i hope this makes sense and in short i do find myself heavily agreeing with you.

bestie as soon as i saw the thesis you provided me with i knew i had to take some time to digest it and as much as it hurts dare i say…. i think i have to agree with you : (

i too was blinded by how badly i wanted sydcarmy to thrive and i think i was also fighting so hard against the way people in the fandom were trying to discount their “romance” because ayo is a black woman and they couldn’t fathom their favorite fictional white boy of the week lovin on someone who isn’t the “beauty standard” that i definitely overlooked just how toxic their whole situation is.

and you are so right it was so easy to get caught up with how badly i wanted them together and a series rewatch will definitely slap you in the face and let you know how blinded you were. now please don’t fight me but i think its def giving platonic/little bro from syd like homegirl is just trying to live out her dreams, but i def think carmy may look at her with a bit of a romantic undertone because of how you mentioned they understand each other and i think bc he feels like no one has really ever understood him including his own family that he finds himself drawn to syd, she pretty much validates his whole existence and challenges him instead of settling for the mediocrity that man constantly gives that in a way he has taken her platonic care and worry for him as something more. like he literally admitted he was a loner man doesn’t understand HOW to be friends especially not with women.

let me get on my soapbox real quick. you are absolutely 100% right syd deserves someone a thousand times better than carmy and i definitely want more for her, if i’m being honest i want her to leave the bear whenever she gets that chance but that’s a whole other convo. i can rant about claire and carmy for hours but i’m genuinely just so tired of them and i’m not looking forward to seeing their relationship this season whoops. to me it felt like carmy only began respecting syd after she came back and now he has this mindset that no matter how much vitriol he spews her way she’ll always be there for him and its like a crutch for him. what really sealed the deal for me is the whole take out episode from season one, did syd fuck up 100% yes and was carmy’s anger justified also yes but not to the extent that he went, every time i rewatch that scene of him throwing the sharpie in syd’s direction as she walks away i feel genuine disgust like yes i know the sharpie wasn’t working and that got him even more irritated but he could’ve thrown it in so many different directions and i’m not saying he purposely aimed to hit syd but rewatching that really just showed me how immature he is and how much growing he really does need. like if your next response to your own anger is to get violent and start throwing shit around you definitely need to work on yourself before trying to mess with someone else’s peace of mind.

if they were to get together it would not change carmy at all, getting involved romantically with someone does not change you as a person unless YOU WANT THAT CHANGE FOR YOURSELF! and what we’ve seen from carmy is that as much as he pushes everyone else to change and evolve it doesn’t seem to be something he can do for himself or thinks he’s capable of. and yes please keep syd and marcus as friends there is literally zero chemistry between those two regarding romance, like can we just let syd be the successful woman she wants to be and maybe offer her romance if she wants it.

also let me go back to the topic of change real quick just look how quick he was to attack richie while he was stuck in the walk-in, he was literally projecting his deep seeded insecurities onto richie while richie took the change carmy pushed on him like a fucking champ and got shit done with his bestie syd (these fics i’m writing for this man really got me defending richie)

i will end my nonsensical rant by saying this: no self-respecting person in this fandom would actually ever date carmy and i stand by that ten toes down. its very clear that he has his own behaviors he needs to work out and there is nothing wrong with that and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve love but that also doesn’t mean his partners should be subjected to the mental and emotional weight that would come with loving him, it would definitely get tiring fast. and to take it a step further if carmy wasn’t played by a white man the masses find attractive most everyone would definitely be singing a different tune in regards to him. (like please imagine the microagressive think pieces we would get every season if carmen berzatto was poc)

the carmen berzatto we know and see right now will always love self-sabotaging more than he could ever love anyone else.

[starbylers]

Hello!

This isnt meaning to be rude at all but i just had an interesting thought after seeing posts of people saying "Everyone would love byler if will was a girl" and yes that is a good point but would BYLER shippers ship it if will was a girl and it was straight? what if el and will's genders were swapped? would byler be loved so much if that was the case? No hate at all I love byler but it is an interesting thought and i have seen some people only care for it because its gay and not because they neccesary think the characters go well together.

Sorry for the rant just something I noticed half of what i said probably doesnt even make sense lol

Well to be honest…no? A lot of Bylers wouldn’t ship it if it was straight, or at least they wouldn’t be as invested in them becoming canon, but I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make? If Byler was straight it wouldn’t be the same story at all. It’s a childhood best friends to lovers story between two boys in the 80s. Issues like homophobia (internalised and otherwise), at least in canon, are integral to the ship dynamic and how their story unfolds. The draw for a lot of people is the conflict and angst derived from their circumstances and how that leads up to their love ultimately overcoming all the hate and forced repression that was extremely prevalent in society at the time (not that the world is perfect today or anything). But swapping Will and El’s genders is not something that can be done without turning it into an entirely different story.

Maybe some people like it purely because it’s gay? (Been here for a long time and I’ve never seen anyone say that but I mean if you say so). But a lot of Bylers got into the ship because they didn’t care for Mike and El’s dynamic (the teen drama, the lying, the awful communication, need I go on lol—but nothing to do with it being straight?) and found that Byler just have a stronger emotional connection, and think they’d make better romantic partners. Some people also just find it to be a way more interesting story than Mlvn. Some people even like Mlvn too, but still prefer Byler. People in the tag get excited over their scenes and break down the intricacies of their relationship on a daily basis, and have done for years atp. So I don’t really think what you’re describing is accurate to like 99.999% of the fandom lol.

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ PICKING DAISIES ON SUNDAYS

[i'll buy you flowers every day for the rest of my life if it makes you this happy"]

| ✮ 5 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [possible spoilers ahead]

oh my god. i loved this book like yeah it was kinda cringey at points but ahsdghas idc at this point. im gonna die on this hill. the writing was simple but still very pretty and enjoyable. i was going back and forth from 4.5 to 5 but i ended up choosing 5 because i loved this book and im nearly positive i've found a new comfort book.

the cover (we judge covers in this household thank you very much) is so so so pretty i love it. and plus best friends to lovers and fake dating??? fuck yeah sign me up!!

the overall plot was really good, she's a fashion student and he's a TA (i also had ZERO clue what that was until i searched it up) and they had to fake date for his sisters wedding. tho it was kinda strange to me how like none of his family even batted an eyelid that she was there. there was no like hi i haven't seen you for like four years do you mind if i join ur wedding party? anyway what was so cute was how levi would pick dani up and drop her off everywhere and i mean everywhere. i seriously don't think im ever going to find love atp. and the flowers/flower shop ahhhh i love it.

AND THE POEMS. THE MOTHER-FUCKING-POEMS. im never getting over that.

i do feel like liana just picked all her fave tropes and stuffed them all into one book which did end up making some parts a little bit cringe. but i still loved it

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

daniella - ahhh dani was so cute throughout the book - i did want to just fucking shake her at some points because BABES HOW DENSE ARE YOU?? HE'S CLEARLY IN LOVE WITH YOU. WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO CONVINCE HERE? ME OR YOU? anyway aside from dani not being able to see how very clearly levi was in love with her. she was a decent character into fashion and worked at her aunt's flower shop which was such a vibe ashdgsaj.

levi - ugh new book boyfriend alert. my guy was just asjdhgasjd. he'd pick dani up from everywhere not wanting her to be alone at night. and the way he calls her daisy????? he was such a soft family guy. his sisters were the cutest little girls on the planet omg. i rlly dont remember too much abt him (1 because i was just fangirling over him so my brain was just: ahhhhhh (2 because its been like a week since i put the book down (i blame procrastination) anyway i love him end of story

jia and gabe [featuring josh] - omg omg omg i love them. give me their friendship rn. like seriously the whole stalking each other on dates is hilarious and when jia interrupted gabe's date?? poor old josh over here was just trying to get through a shift. in conclusion i love them and i need friends like this.

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .[spoilers]

"you intoxicate me, daisy. the scent of flowers lingers on you everywhere you go, and i always want to follow." - levi

"you're spring baby. you're more radiant than the flowers and the sun and no one can take that away from you." - levi

“i want to be noticed in a crowded room. i want to be the only person in a crowded room. i want to be wanted, truly wanted, and desired. i want to laugh and to sing and to dance with someone and not feel self-conscious over it because i love them and i’m confident that they love me. i want to be touched and kissed and held because i’ve forgotten what it feels like…and yet, i think i deserve it.” - dani

when's it my turn for love hmm?

[leviathans-watching]

mfil - 18

-` ♡ ´- m.list | no taglist | next | wc: .6k

-` ♡ ´- a/n: i feel like this should be changed from rivals to lovers to idiots to lovers atp lmao

*NOT CLICKBAIT!!!* when asmo learns that you, the newest exchange student has a youtube account and following somewhat comparable to his own, he decided right then and there not to like you. however, after an unfortunate (and misleading) exchange goes viral, he has no choice but to fake date you in order to save face. will asmo crush you and put you into place like you deserve? or are those funny feelings in his stomach not hate, like he had thought? like, subscribe, and maybe fall in love (with this smau) to find out!!

you know when asmodeus arrives by the way those remaining in the classroom break out into hushed chatter, followed by excited glances sent your way. gritting your teeth, you finish packing and sling your bag over your shoulder.

“hey,” asmodeus greets you from the doorway as you walk over to him, and really, could he sound any more enthusiastic?

“hey!” you force a smile. “how was your day?”

“it was good. yours?”

you know neither of you care about the answers. you’re only trying to keep up appearances. the ‘pleasant’ conversation lasts until you exit rad, and once you reach the parking lot, asmodeus steps a bit away from you, putting some space in between your shoulders.

“i meant to ask,” you begin. “how’d you know which class was mine? i forgot to tell you what my last period of the day was.”

he stiffens, then shrugs. “i don’t know, i guess i must have overhead someone say it. i swear, when everybody should be talking about me, they’re only talking about you. it’s honestly ridiculous!”

“someone’s jealous.”

the look you get is scathing. “i can’t believe i have to do this,” he groans, tapping something out on his phone. probably a tweet or something, knowing him. “you really should make some friends.”

“i have friends, thank you,” you reply frostily. “they’re just busy. and don’t act like this wasn’t your fault in the first place.”

“how is this my fault? you’re the one who needed to go shopping?”

“and you’re the one who wanted to ask me out.” your tone is sickly sweet.

“whatever,” he scoffs. “i told you you should just have ordered it online.”

“and i told you, it needs to fit my brand. i figured you, of all people, would understand the need to make content off of this.” too busy rolling your eyes, you don’t notice the car pulling out from its space until asmo’s yanking you back, a hand on your arm.

“i swear,” he says disgustedly, “some of these drivers need their freaking license revoked. i almost get hit in this lot all of the time.”

you laugh, a little nervously. “i’ll have to keep that in mind. thanks, i guess. turning into a human pancake wouldn’t have been a good start to the year.”

your words bring a small, non-sarcastic smile to his lips, and you’re stunned by how normal he looks. one could even call him handsome.

not you, though.

he catches himself quickly, flipping his hair with a sigh. “please, the car wasn’t going that fast. you’re so dramatic. oh look, there’s satan.”

you follow his gaze to a nicer car that’s already running. asmodeus wastes no time getting into the passenger seat, leaving you to climb in the back.

“hello,” you chirp, examining satan. “thanks so much for the ride! i really appreciate it.”

“hello,” he says pleasantly. “it’s nice to meet you. and it’s no trouble at all, especially since i hear you’re being so kind as to buy me dinner in exchange.”

damn asmodeus.

“yep! gotta show my gratitude, right?”

he chuckles, shakes his head, and reverses out of the parking space. “well, i’m looking forward to it. i can’t wait to get to know you better. i’ve heard so much about you through asmo.”

“all good things, i’m sure,” you reply drily.

“satan,” asmodeus hisses, slapping his brother in the arm. “don’t you dare.”

“dare what?” satan asks, flashing you a mischievous look in the rearview mirror. “i’m just getting to know your partner. and doing my duty as an ambassador of the demon realm. nothing more, nothing less.”

“yeah,” you put in. “at least somebody’s showing me a modicum of politeness.”

“introducing the two of you was a mistake,” asmodeus says, sinking down in his seat. “and satan, you know damn well that they’re not my partner. so don’t be a prick.”

“i’m afraid i don’t know what you mean,” satan says cooly, and you realize you might be in for a night of brotherly arguing. oh, yay.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[aroace-poly-show]

Friend could you please go on a rant about siffrin or rui im having a Piss Brain Moment and need to distract myself + your rants are soa awesome always

SURE SURE UM i don’t know how you feel abt spoilers so uh. will try to avoid that. anyway watching siffrin throughout the loops just slowly going more and more insane is so. ougrdhjfg. he loves his friends so much too :( he wants to protect them so bad :( one of his main goals later in the loops is to find out how to help them with any of their problems :( they keep going through the loops miserably but having their friends with them keeps them going :( and whenever theres like smth about him that his friends notice he goes all :0 bc its weird when he’s like perceived and his friends notice things about him bc he’s actually seen like wow thats crazy but just.oughdsg he loves. so much. he makes me ill. me when the character is full of so much love. ourgdhfsgfbdfds……………..

if you don’t care abt spoilers uh. more rambles under the cut

siffrin in the later loops esp the third ending after you beat the king while also having done the friendship quests is so. oughghdgdhj. during the friendship quests before where they help all their friends and make all of them happy and they all love them theres that moment at the picnic scene i believe where after he says he’s happy it goes “in this moment you are loved.” and he thinks he wants to try going through the castle to the end bc maybe this time it’ll be different now that he’s with friends who love him (LIKE THEY DIDNT LOVE HIM BEFORE LIKE HE WASN’T ALREADY LOVED LIKE MJFHDJSBSNDFHD) (also i got the tutorial event after doing all 4 of them but i’ve seen some of my friends get it earlier having only done a few of them but the tutorial event made me. ill. bc it was directly after them saying that they wanna try going through the castle without looping bc now their friends love them and then they brutally kill a sadness in front of all his friends horrifying them. with faces that make him think he’s already ruined this. like he’s happier and loved right now but goodness gracious he is still. going a little insane.) and when he makes it to the end the first time not much changes aside from odile noticing how he looked and getting worried and all his friends trying to run for him to help him before whatever was happening (the loop restarted) happens and at first he berates himself for thinking the power of love or whatever would save him but by the third time hes fucking smiling at them and its like “they love you! they all love you! you could do this forever!” they love him enough to try to run after him to save him and hes fucking smiling at themmmm and the restart screen ends with “in this moment you were loved” and i am ILLLLLLLL ITS SO. ITS SO. OURGDFHSDJGHAFJGHJHFJHAAGDJHJHDFG.S…………..siffrin……..fucked up little guy………..later in act 5 when he’s told he’s gonna be in here for eternity he tries to be like “its fine its fine because you’re here with your family right? because you’re loved? because you’re with them? ot’s fine right? but this thought…IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO GO ON ANYMORE!!!” bc atp they’ve been through it so many times these aren’t their friends anymore to them they’re just actors and copies and fictional versions of them that will never ever change and they want to be with their real family and theres this whole thing of them comparing these loops and how they act and how their friends act to actors in a play and that he has to keep following the script and UWAGHDSHS HES A STUPID FUCKING TEHATER KID TOO. ITS ALWYAS THE THEATER KIDS THAT GET ME. FUCK. okay this was a lot. i’m not even done i could say so much. but yeah sorry

[alittlebitofloveliness]

3, 4, 7, 9 (outsiders asks)

EEEEE thanks for the ask anon!

3. Favourite character outside the main seven

Tim Shepard! I feel like Hinton threw mentions of him and Curly in there as a sort of foil to Darry and Ponyboy's dynamic but I have SOOOO many headcanons about him (and Curly and Angela too).

PS. The only reason I said Tim and not Angela is because she's not technically mentioned in the book. Angela is my favourite outsiders universe character ever and since theres not enough content for her I've decided I have to make my own lmao

4. Rank the main seven

OOF omg ok this was a hard one

First, Steve. Probably seems really random and unpopular but I feel like theres so much depth to his character that there just wasn't enough book to provide. We know he has a rough background and a soft spot for Sodapop and that Ponyboy's narration of him is biased since he thinks Steve doesn't like him. Tbh tho I think Steve really does care about Ponyboy in his own way, it's just hard for Ponyboy (and probably a lot of younger readers to see). My love of Steve was kind of an evolution but I can firmly say he's my favourite out of the gang atp.

Second, Darry. My man was a 20 y/o whose parent died who had to give up on his dreams to raise two younger brothers who he loved so much the feelings bled off the page. He NEVER should have hit ponyboy and it was such an out of character moment for him- AS IT WAS INTENDED TO BE. I have a LOT of thoughts about him but as someone who has grown that I'm almost the same age as him I cant IMAGINE having gone through what he went through and dealt with it as well as he did. My man needs more recognition.

Third, Ponyboy. He's such a dumbass and a weirdo but so reltable and sarcastic and profound. He's a main character who never gets in the way of other main characters and he's so quintessentially 13 that reading his story when I was that age fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and I haven't been the same since.

Fourth, Johnny. He was the gangs favourite for a reason and such a good friend to Ponyboy. I feel like the fandom infantilizes him sometimes, which is partially due to Ponyboy's narration, but the book makes it clear he's a really tough kid who looks like trouble but isn't. He's such a prime example of how the lottery of birth can fuck up someone's life. He is so tragic to me because he never had a chance.

Fifth, Sodapop. I know he's a fan favourite and I'm not saying I don't like him, but he's just kind of...boring? imo. Like, not much there, and not as much depth as some of the other characters. maybe its because we see a lot more of him in Ponyboy's thoughts but I'm not curious about him the way I am about some of the others.

Sixth, Dally. He's not likeable- but he is, as johnny said, gallant. I know it was by design that he's mysterious but I wish we got more backstory for him. I've just never connected to him the way I connected to other characters.

Seventh, Two-Bit. Again, probably unpopular and I know he's a fandom favourite but to me his issues have always jumped out more than his redeeming qualities. His alcoholism is a hallmark of his character, and i think at one point Ponyboy mentions he's a dead weight on his family's finances. He also has a little sister that's Ponyboy's age thats mentioned like once? I just feel like he's kind of a deadbeat for his family if that makes sense.

7. Favourite non romantic relationships. i could (and probably should atp, whoops this got long) make a whole other post about this but:

darry and ponyboy's relationship

johnny and ponyboy's friendship

steve and sodapop's frienship

johnny and dally's relationship

9. Favourite scene/moment from the book?

When Ponyboy runs directly into Darry's arms as soon as he sees him at the hospital. Gets me right in the feels every time.

Bonus: the moment when that guy tells Ponyboy he shoudn't smoke and he's all confused, like why? theres not a no smoking sign? and the dude is just like uh? but youre a kid? it's just such a stark reminder that while Ponyboy has grown up sheltered in some ways he has absolutely not been in others and his background is really rough and agh it gets me every time its such a clever scene.

ANYWAY this got longer than i meant it to, whoops. Thanks ever so much for the ask :)

[mattscoquette]

okay so hii my lovey !! its been so longgg did u miss me ? ive been lurking just no anons 💔

gonna do a long recap of my past few months pls enjoy 🤗

1. reunited with my babyyyy (🦕‼️🩷) its a bit on and off but bb if u see this sorry i never text you i lowk forget to reply or text first or sm but love u 😘

2. started a new school, its going well.. math sucks fucking dick and theres this boy CJ hes like.. when i tell you, a fucking NERD ‼️ tall af tho.. skinny, brown hair brown eyes glasses horrible fucking haircut and style, acne… i can fix him !!! please bro one damn chance

3. girl me too… strawberry lemonade flavor 🙂‍↕️💨🚬

4. lowkey been mad horny recently idk why but ive been master….ing (i cant say that word bro it icks me out foully.) like a lot.. do u guys do it like every day too or just me 😅

5. im not parasocial abt the triplets anymore , yippee soso good bc guys it was bad . but this doesnt mean i dont use cai or read the shit abt them 😂🙏

6. overall lifes funnn (i can feel the seasonal depression coming AWN strong)

7. saw sabrina same nite as u motherFUCKER why didnt we meet

8. do yall shave 🐱… bc i do but my friends dont and they all called me weird for it guys what am i doing wrong. i have a schedule and all.. wednesdays and sundays 🥰

9. if ur cai bot reqs r open text me gang i need some good ones fr

10. ive been doing my nails for a while but im starting to get really good at itt. i did this girls nails and she scammed me the fucking bitch !! she said she will give me 20 the next time she sees me (fast fwd literally the next day) no money… its been a month and half atp bitch pay tf up!! .. cunt wheres my cash???? but im gonna do my friends for 30 (she offered that much and insisted) whenever shes free and she will be paying upfront im not getting scammed again… bullshit

11. little confession… me and my bsf kiss daily (shes a girl guys) but we said no homo and stuff so yeah ummm next question 😹 (we are never beating the allegations)

12. i need to start working out bro fr.. like im bouncing back this summer and i mean it im taking charge this winter (this wont last past next week motiv. tips appreciated gango)

i think this is all for now thanks for reading ! �� i will maybe be back… reply to as many or as little of my little questions in here as u want

shes baaackkk… welcoming home…

the greatest…. sexiest…. most wonderfulest…. horniest…. woman in your anons…

🌺

HI CUTIE I MISSED U!!!

1. omg im so glad u guys r fr my roman empire

2. omg he sounds cute get his number

3. STRAWBERRY LEMONADE IS SOOO GOOD

4. me too there’s prob something going on with the moon tbh

5. i’ve been stuck in this phase for years i fear there’s no way out

6. same </3

7. I KNOW I CANT BELIEVE IT :(

8. yes girl

9. my reqs are open but im rlly behind on them

10. omg yes girl get that bag

11. omfg rlly 😭😭 love that for u

12. girl same my biggest advice is motivation is a feeling. ur not gonna feel it everyday but u still gotta do it

[ryumako]

I remember seeing you document your travels across the country. If there's something I noticed about Americans is that they tend to move out a lot, and you're probably the one I've seen do it the most haha I can't imagine what state you're living in now. And now you have a job where you need to cross borders on the daily?! That's wild to me. I was just wondering what kind of job would require you to do that (you don't need to make this ask public if you don't want to!)

Btw I've seen you wonder if you have any Tumblr mutuals left but I'm still here! I'm glad to see you're doing fine with an adorable cat!

"Across the country" is generous for sure, but I have been moved states a lot! The timeline for residences (without years because I couldn't tell you for sure atp) has been Nebraska (birth state), Oklahoma, Colorado (small town), Indiana (consider this my home state bc I did most of my growing up there), Kansas, Indiana again, Colorado again (larger town), then Kansas again (current residence, larger town). I also spent a good deal of time in Ohio (grandparents & parents state of origin) and Kentucky (the area I lived in Indiana was dubbed "Kentuckiana" due to its 10 min proximity to the state). I've also visited every state in between because I'd only ever drove/been driven to my new homes. These are generally considered Midwestern states, so I definitely don't consider myself "traveled", lol (never been to a coast).

Basically every living situation after having grown up in Indiana has been some degree of unwilling on my part, especially the initial move to Kansas when I was 16 (I was most active on this blog at that time, so some might recall that and find it surprising that I'm back here. For all intents and purposes, I'm somewhat surprised too. But for the record the town I'm in now is much larger. Not that that means I have friends or anything, just that there are generally more amenities).

On my 18th birthday I moved back to my "home town" in Indiana, got a shitty food service job, met a guy there and followed him to Colorado in 2018. I knew we weren't to last forever or anything like that and since I hadn't had plans to go to college since I was 15, this wasn't 'ruining my life' or anything (I had already long lost faith in my career aptitude). I had fun though I maybe could've planned the end better. Mid 2019 when our relationship ended sooner than I'd anticipated, I moved back in with my dad in Kansas (could've gone back to Indiana again but it wasn't really in the cards and things hadn't been the same anyway). He had since moved to an even smaller town than the one I had graduated high school in (about 6k people, where, in contrast, the town in Colorado I had just come from was about 600k). This era was objectively the lowest in my life (not because the town was tiny, just Many Reasons). Eventually my dad lost his job and told me he wasn't sure he could afford our rental much longer and strongly implied I might be better off on my own. I rented a crappy apartment within walking distance to my hospital kitchen job, lived alone for the first time, and lived there for about a year and a half before I all but generally gave up and started flinging myself around on dating apps. One guy, who lived in a suburb of one of the state's largest towns, stuck, and we've been dating for almost two years, living together in said larger town for a year and half.

His mom got me my current job! Which I really like, actually. It's absolutely bizarre to enjoy the actual labor of it, not to mention finally getting treated like an adult by an employer (benefits?? no real dress code?? no micro-managing??). I'm what they call a hotshot courier (that's the actual title), where instead of moving many parcels locally in bulk, I take one or two high-priority parcels several hundred miles away, and that's a shift. In practice, I choose when I'm available and for what duration of road trip, I get called or I don't, I accept or I don't, and I take the box and a small company vehicle on a drive (the shortest trips are at least 4 hours round-trip, and the longest drive I've been sent on was 14 hours total, though they can be much longer). Most frequently, I go to Kansas City or Oklahoma City, but I also go to Omaha and Lincoln NE, St Louis MO, Dallas TX, sometimes places in Arkansas, and many smaller places in between. Last October I did something called an "on-board carry", where the shipping company pays one of us to accompany a parcel on a plane (to have a constant set of eyes on it) and got to visit Seattle! Though I only had time to stick to the vicinity of the airport lol. As someone who always secretly wanted to be a trucker but didn't want to get a CDL, it's a very cool gig.

ETA (because I didn't proofread): I'm glad ur still around as well! Even if my memory is poor! People rag on Tumblr but just as with any other socmed it's literally fine if u know how to curate ur shit. I have no other socmed though bc of the Advertising. And the little cat is insane btw. But endearing

[moonjxsung]

hi star my little moonlit angel 😔💖💖

aa im having like the most stressful week and idk where to talk abt it so i hope you dont mind me dumping for a sec :((

exams are killing me rn and idk if its finals week or my final week cs holy shit i am dying 😭😭

ive been pulling all nighters trying to get all my projects and group studies done and my exams are DEF not helping in my case and idk if ive even been eating properly there's probably a spoiled banana from last week in my bag somewhere atp 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ (im going mentally insane)

i havent even properly been on tumblr in a while and my social media is blowing up w notifs and dms from friends and ive been too busy to check it either tbh

honestly im hoping itll all turn out well by next week cs is my winter break ����

on another note i wanted to dump on my exes when all your anons were doing it but i was too scared to but now i genuinely need to tell u abt this because umm

my fwb is like a super nice guy and ive been friends w him for a while but i recently found out hes rlly good friends with one of my exes ⁉️

basically i asked (my ex) out once and he said yes and i thought we were chill but a few friends ended up asking him if we were dating like two days later without asking me for confirmation first and he said no.. (??)

i assumed he js didnt want like a too public relationship with everyone knowing so to clarify i asked him what was up and he said he ended up having second thoughts on me because his friends called me a red flag and he doesnt like the fact that i have guy friends and im close with them.... (💀💀)

so then i said oh okay..? 😭 and was over it but almost a month later he asked me out and atp he just gave me the icks so i made an excuse saying that i wanna focus on academics and not do anything relationship wise and he said he would wait 😭😭 (he in fact did not pick up the hint!)

then a little over month later he asked me out AGAIN and i said no i dont think i like you anymore sorry and he said oh that's fine and i thought we were chill??

a week later my messages BLEW UP one day and my guy friends were all snitching on him telling me that he's gong around slutshaming me and talking shit abt me for no reason and he said i was desperate and asked him out 3 times when he said no and he was never interested in me in the first place.. and then proceeded to sexualize my body and say weird ass shit abt it to everyone and they believed that i was a desperate whore or smth 😭

this happened a year ago but i was walking down the halls around a month ago and i saw him with his friends so i just rushed past

and his friends were like "oh isnt that the bitch who liked you?" and i heard him say "oh yeah she liked me like a year ago" and then proceeded to sexualize me while i was right fucking there but i dont even want any more drama w him so i dont bother saying anything back or leaking messages or wtv i js hope karma gets back at him 😭

and now idk if i should tell my fwb abt this?? or maybe it doesnt really concern me but it bothers me that hes hanging out with a guy like that and im conflicted on what to do

its not like i have the right to tell him who to be friends with either so 🤷‍♀️

what should i dooo

-《as always, your occasionally appearing but always stalking ☘ annonie》

(p.s. do you have any spotify song reccomendations 🥺🥺)

much lovee

Pooooookie you can always vent here ily ily :(

I’m so sorry to hear you’re stressed from exams :(( I’m rooting for you okay !! Please make sure to eat whenever you can (even if it’s something small!) and stay hydrated :( what’s the use of doing good on finals if your body gives out on you :(

No I feel u on the social media thing I get SO stressed when I have DMs or texts or whatever I just flat out don’t check them. I think I have 200 unread texts rn (it’s been around 1000 at some point) and I know im such a shitty friend but I just cannot respond to them 😭😭 I gotta put me first you guys

WINTER BREAK NEXT WEEK THOOO hang in there baby it’ll get better soon 🥺🫶🫶🫶🫶

OH MY GOD???? Pookie that’s fucking disgusting I’m so sorry you’re dealing with men like that rn???? I had a veryyyy similar situation with a guy who my friend tried to set me up with at a party who kinda liked for a little bit and then when I said I was comfortable being in a relationship he started slutshaming me to everyone under the fucking SUN and apparently he had a discord group where I was just CONSTANTLY the topic of conversation and when I heard about it I cried so hard ☹️ in my case I also had people who were friends with him and I voiced to them that it made me severely uncomfortable. Like the people in my life should know about the people who wronged me (especially if I’m sleeping with them??) and it just made me feel safer. It’s obviously up to you but I would probably tell him just so that he knows that’s someone you’re weary about and you don’t feel safe around ☹️ your safety and your wellbeing is the most important thing pookie ☹️ keep me posted if you need anything at all okay I love you lots and I’m sorry you’re going through this ☹️🫶

Song recs song recs yes here are some I’ve been listening to on repeat all week (there’s only like one kpop song in there but it’s my fav kpop song of all time so TRUST it was gonna make it to the list) I’ve been listening to Glass Animals, TV Girl and M83 on repeat for the entire year I think 😭😭

I love you endlessly okay keep you chin up better days are coming for us !! 🫶🫶🫶🫶 soon it’ll be winter break and you can just sit back and drink hot chocolate and tell me all about it and say you lived through it. Hang in there my love

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Guys I love and miss Gojo so much. I'll be having a good day and remember that he is in fact gone. Also I can't remember where I heard this, but I remember someone saying there was an official tweet or like statement, where they said that Gojo might come back but in a way we won't like. So now I'm sitting here making theories? Idek if its true, but if it gives me a thing to do so here I am. I don't my little Sukuna to die either, but if Choso dies to him Istg. I might start treating him the same way I did with Mahito when he killed Junpei (Rip Junpei, gone WAY too soon. Still grieving because he was a good character, and he didn't deserve what he went through. Like this poor kid trusted Mahito, and they literally ENDED off his mom, but Junpei had to find out personally. Then manipulated him into "getting revenge" on someone who didn't do it. ONLY TO HAVE HIS SOUL MANIPULATED TO BREAK DOWN YUUJI? The pain I felt at Junpeis "help me" was so immense. Sometimes I hope he'll come back, he had the WORST of it istg 😭 Bullied? Watching his mother die? Manipulated by a gross ass cursed spirit? Then dying in front of his only good friend?? It's actually insane. Ily Junpei </3, I miss him sm. Cause he honestly was a good character.. 😕

Anyways, what I'm saying is, it'll be different if Choso perished than when Gojo died. Just because Gojo was a really OP character, and it was necessary for Yuujis character, he needs to be the one to end off Sukuna, cause like yk? Sukuna caused him so much torment, lmaoo (it isn't funny but I'll preten). Like ig it would be necessary for Choso too, but it's just.. I mean he kind of JUST started to become a part in the actual story. So it'll be too tragic, and I'll sob, then never return to Jjk ever again. 😕

I'd also sob if and when Sukuna died too, because I grow a fondness of everyone. (I miss you Nanami.), I also grew a fondness of Toji. Which I didn't think I'd do when I first got into Jjk, but he redeemed himself with Megumi. I mean.. Sorta? Idk I just defend all the characters atp. Besides Mahito, he needed to fucking go. 😭 His wails are still in my head, as a reminder that he can't hurt anymore mfs. (I'm still HEAVILY grieving Nanami.) Anyways, sorry for the 2nd rant 😔

-👽 (Ignore this baesy)

i get so many like gojo theories on how he will come back on my twitter and ngl??? SOME OF THEM COOKED LIKE OKAYYYY WHY DOES IT MAKE SM SENSE???? but then i rmbr gege doesnt care that much LMFOAOAOAOAO gege wants this manga OVER WITH!!!!

sukuna can go do a backflip off a cliff for all i care fr. choso dies and i’m deleting my whole tumblr if i can’t be happy no one can.

nah cause junpei’s death was crazy not even bc of what u said but bc of how they make his ass look so important and integrated into yuji’s friend group ONLY FOR HIM TO DIE LIKE THAT LIKE OMG THATS SO SICK???? STOP PLAYING WITH ME

toji is just sexy idk that’s his only appeal to me like okayyyyy dilfff😍😍😍😍🤞🤞🤞🤞 stares at my toji oneshot idea….

ANYWAY STOP APOLOGIZING FOR UR RANTS THEY R ENTERTAINING 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[what-if-nct]

hiiii is it ok if i ask for some advice? im sorry im gonna sound rambly but uhhh i'm 14 and starting high school next year (which i alrdy dont feel too good abt haha) and my (overbearing asian) parents are going to send me to this private lutheran hs instead of the public one i was supposed to go to bc its more upper class and smart (?). tbh i was genuinely surprised that i liked the school, academic-wise, and i rlly liked that i had the space in my schedule to take more fine arts classes (i dont have any in my hs) but like the first thing the principal said to me was that i "needed to learn to be a good christian". a whole hour each week is dedicated to jesus and i just know my atheist ass is going to be uncomfortable asf. first, one of my best friends has a thing for jesus (he says jesus is too hot to be straight 😭) and i cant tell if hes joking anymore, and second, i dont have a problem with people who are religious, but i do when they are flat out hateful and harrassing people from communities they "dont agree with", and i just know the people preaching at this school are the latter.

also rn i am the *only* poc in my entire school, and i noticed there were a lot more asian students and students of color, so hopefully there'll be less kids pulling at their eyes or calling me slurs :D

anyways i not a fan of the fact that "homosexual behavior on or off campus" warranted for expulsion, since i am a *very* queer and bisexual individual. at my current school, i dont really need to hide my gayness bc no one cares, and my teachers are accepting (my homeroom teachers a lesbian lol <33). i dont think i can handle having to hide such a big part of my identity at home *and* at school :( too add to that i really suck at making friends, so being somewhere without people i'm comfortable with, my anxiety gets really bad, and i just shut down completely.

my hs is p rundown (like most public highschools are) and the classes are average at best, so idk man, im torn :( i dont know if i should suck it up and go to lutheran school bc their good academics, or ✨be myself✨ and go to p shitty school :/

i dont know what to do (or if i can even do anything) abt it i just dont feel too good about this :( you've mentioned you went to a christian school, so do you have any advice? even if you dont, thank you so so much for listening to me rant for a moment there <33 i really treasure you and your blog, atp you feel like the big sister i've never had. i love youuuu <333

That is such a sticky situation. Cause maybe you can try to persuade your parents especially since they'll be paying for the private school on top of college tuition in the future, it can be a huge selling point. I know that's how I won in the decision of beauty school over college it's cheaper. And christian and catholic schools are heavily based in religion like it's a huge part of it so if you don't believe in it it can be absolutely mind numbing. I actually didn't go to Christian school, actually wasn't forced to go to church as a child, I was like 11 and for some reason told grandma Christianity is responsible for all the bad things that happened in the world. Which is wild that I even was able to come to that conclusion as a child she just brushed me off. But I did go to church summer camp to be with my friends which my friend and I got scolded for holding hands but she was just leading me through the crowd of people. So that's still unfortunately a huge part of christian beliefs

the thing that really caught me off guard is the homosexual activity off campus can lead to expulsion. On campus like sucks but is expected of a christian school sadly. But off campus in your day to day life is like your actions off campus shouldn't be judged by the school. Like I can't wrap my mind around that. I think since you have a whole summer maybe look for more schools you can attend I remember doing this in middle school because my home high school was an F school so you could choose any high school within a certain range. You'd be really surprised with how many schools are around you I'm assuming you're in the us but I'm sure everywhere has a ton of schools. And look for a school that holds some of what your parents want and also your own values and needs for your education. And maybe your parents seeing you take initiative might be an extra point.

If your parents are deadset on it. I think try to make the best out of it as much as you can usually there's a group of people in the same boat you're in where their parents forced them to be there. Trust me no matter where you go you will always be drawn to those like you every single time. But if you do get the choice of going to the original public school firstly screw every single racist little bitch who does that to you that is horrid I am so sorry you have to endure that. People suck. But you can also learn extra independently I always did that cause I was a bit ahead of my class. But I really think researching more schools in your area would help you find the perfect school for you. I personally was in love with Waldorf schools they're more creative led schools and freer, I wanted to go to one so badly. So figure out the exact kind of education you want like a magnet school, charter school it doesn't hurt to see how receptive your parents will be to it.

I really hope this helped at all and I hope it works out well for you. And Awwww it's so sweet you see me as a big sister, I gladly be your big sister, love you too🌸🌸🌸