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epithet-beloved · 1 year

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hihi um. i love the platonic sylvie imagines here,, could i request autistic sylvie hcs and/or sylvie with a reader his age whos special interest is also psychology…….

AUTISTIC SYLVIE THOUGHTS!

synopsis… Autistic traits Sylvie exhibits, and how he bonded with someone with a similar special interest!

ft. Sylvester “Sylvie” Ashling, Molly Blyndeff (mentioned)

tags… fluff, autism headcanon, i don't know anything about psychology save for basics oops

word count… 728

a/n… uhmmmm hiiii do you guys remember us… being an adult is difficult guys why do we do it. anyway. autism. i am not OFFICIALLY diagnosed myself (to which my friend immediately went "you were stimming so hard at the movie today bffr"), but i suspect i am and i also relate to sylvie so a good bit of this is projection ✧ 🦝

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Lovingly, have you seen this kid?

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 It goes without saying that no one in Epithet Erased is neurotypical but we’re not here to discuss that today.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvie was diagnosed fairly early in life, some amount of time before he jumped a few grades.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He doesn’t really like acknowledging his diagnosis. Unfortunately, upon getting diagnosed, the most exposure he had to autism was his uncle, and characters that fit the "genius" stereotype on TV.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 So, of course, Sylvie absorbed the pretentiousness from these sources trying to learn about himself.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Like, is it not just canon that he uses the “neurodivergent and a minor” excuse to everything online?

“Huh–?” Molly blinks at Sylvie’s phone screen, opened on social media, but the way he chose to phrase the reply… “Sylvie, I-I don’t think you should say that sort of thing!” “I’m literally neurodivergent and a minor. This ‘adult’ is the one arguing with ME!” Sylvie defends himself with a huff, missing the way Molly gives him a look that’s a mix between disappointment and disbelief. Isn’t Sylvie always the one saying he isn’t a kid?

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvie didn’t really have a lot of friends as a child, considering how he tends to act around others. Pretentious and defensive – it’s hard to get through to the Sylvie that’s more vulnerable and actually nice. He’s mostly in environments of predominantly neurotypical people, and he finds himself in conflict of whether he should mask or not.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He finds his stims embarrassing for example. His most common ones are fiddling with and pushing up his glasses, pacing, talking to himself, and messing with his hair. He also flaps his hands when excited but tries to stop himself from doing so, calling it ‘childish.’

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 His biggest stim of all? Playing with his yo-yo. It’s also a comfort item. When commuting places or even just needing to do something with his hands, he’ll find himself using his yo-yo. He tries to say he wouldn’t die without it, but he’s definitely more tense if he can’t use it.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 His special interests include psychology (duh) and epithets. Things he can study. However, he has a hyperfixation on card games that comes and goes when it feels like it. Sylvie can be really distracted by games like Horizontal Pilot Command, so much that he can procrastinate on work, making him feel bad about it afterwards.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Meltdowns are “shamefully” common for Sylvie, and he needs a lot of time to ground himself. He usually keeps to his room and uses his sheep to rest on or surround himself with. The fluff is therapy sometimes.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 So socially, Sylvie struggles, it’s true. He knows it, but a little worm of denial in his head tries to say it’s because he’s superior to these people, or something like that. So, meeting someone who's similar to him means the world.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvie with low empathy, and a friend who has high empathy? Dynamic duo. Sylvie can wonder if he’s just a jerk due to his low empathy, and he can seek reassurance for it. A friend can help him feel less like a terrible person.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 His favourite joke is when someone asks him for something, he goes “no,” while doing exactly as asked.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvester meeting someone with a psychology special interest? He’s in literal heaven. Two little nerds keep talking about things that make even full grown adults feel dizzy listening to.

“Ah, like Pavlov,” you say with a nod when Sylvie finishes his study help suggestion. The chocolate in hand is an incentive to finish the page you’re scouring through. Sylvie perks up. “Well, yeah! Behaviourism is really important in Pavlov’s theory. The more a behaviour is repeated, the more it affects the mind.” “Mhm! Although I do like B. F. Skinner’s suggestion too,” comes your reply, and Sylvie feels his jaw fall slack at the fact you even know his name. “Stimulus first, then response, then reinforce that response.” “Exactly!” Sylvie sits up, louder than you ever heard him. The study session was quickly brushed aside in favour for now bringing up the founders of behaviourism.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvie doesn’t know anyone else his age with his diagnosis, so it really opens his eyes being with you. And, not to mention, he finally has a friend who really gets him. Where would he be without you, eh? Or, so he jokes, but you can tell he’s serious.

#WE'RE SO BACK (maybe) (we'll see) (perhaps)#𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 request !#🦝's writings #epithet erased #epithet erased imagines #epithet erased x reader #sylvie ashling x reader #sylvester ashling x reader #sylvie ashling headcanons #sylvester ashling imagines #sylvie ashling #sylvester ashling headcanons #sylvester ashling

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yourlocalartsonist · 2 years

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Lmao I have issues I got so obsessed with this show I literally cannot stop hyperfixating on it

The only other time I’ve been this obsessed with anything was for Zootopia and that prompted me to start my little wattpad journey making a fanfic that to this day I still work on in my head. Rise is going back to that path and the fact the show is paused despite there being so much potential content for more seasons isn’t helping

I have a whole ass note on my phone dedicated to story drafts and ideas for a fanfic if I ever choose to make it and honestly it’s getting to that point. I mean there’s so much to explore especially with best boy Leo and his trauma. I’m a sucker for emotional stories and I think rise is the perfect mix between comedy and tragedy so my fluffy side and angsty side are equally satisfied.

And I mean yes it would have a self insert cuz I have no self control but hey self inserts never stopped me from making them good characters with fun dynamics so it wouldn’t really hinder the story too much. I am a simp for Leo though and that would reflect with said self insert being paired up with him. Again, no self control but would still make it at least decently work. I may be a moron but I lose my mind if my stories aren’t written well so..

I am nervous however. I mean I kinda wanna make it a comic instead of a fanfic. I love drawing in the rise style and I think it would help make my art more dynamic and expressive and I get an excuse to practice action scenes too. Idk it’d be fun but I’m terrified I won’t get their characters right. I have no clue when but at some point in my life I developed a very random fear of writing fanfics cuz I kept getting worried I was butchering the characters or something. Knowing my fangirl tendencies, that’s not very likely but the fear persists

I have no idea what this is honestly, it’s almost midnight and I wanted to ramble my thoughts somewhere. I’m new to tumbler but I kinda like it so far so I figured it would be best to put it here. Honestly if I have the time I might just go ahead and make the comic. Unsure if I’d make it public or just keep it as a comfort story for myself but either way I need more rise content and if Nickelodeon isn’t giving it to me, I’m making it myself

#save rottmnt #rottmnt #rise of the turtles #rise leo #rise donnie #rise mikey #rise raph #rise of the tmnt #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt ideas

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xivanxiety · 4 months

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The First Stalker (Approx March 2020 - March 2021)

Disclaimer: A presumptuous individual would like me to let anyone reading this know that neurotypical people are not evil and scary. And that this individual being on the Aut!st!c spectrum has absolutely nothing to do with his personality and behavior. You'd think that in the year 2024 most people on Tumblr dot com could come to such a conclusion, but just in case: Neurodivergent people are not evil and scary, especially people on the spectrum. Otherwise, I am not changing the wording in my story as I genuinely do not view Aut!sm in any form of negativity, much less evil and scary. However, my attitude toward any form of neurodivergence, being someone who is neurodivergent myself, is that our quirks and flaws can be influenced by our neurodivergence, no matter what it be. It can be beneficial and it can be detrimental. Do we need to be shamed for it? Nah. Can it be an explanation? Absolutely. Is it an excuse for how we treat others? Nope. I spent too much time accepting the abuse from someone who was neurodivergent, constantly excusing their behavior which was a result of their relationship with their mental health. Anyway, onto the story.

This guy was one of the first people I RP'd with on Balmung. This story will likely be short and sweet as it's your run-of-the-mill stalking tale. I have mixed feelings about this situation and individual, as they were quite self aware and otherwise a good person and probably didn't have any malicious intentions, but at the end of the day, what they were doing can be defined as stalking. They're a person on the spectrum, and as anyone familiar with Aut!sm, people on the spectrum (and 80HD) are prone to developing hyperfixations. Well... this guy had developed a hyperfixation directed toward my character. I had dabbled a tad bit in crimes, and now my character was a little more customized and how I wanted her to look and he genuinely believed that she was the most beautiful character he'd ever laid his eyes upon. But because of this infatuation with my character, I had to distance from him. Everywhere I went in the game, there he was. He just wanted to look at her. He'd just stand there, not talking to me, just... standing next to me in-game. He'd DM me occasionally telling me he just wanted to see her and flatter her.

I couldn't escape him. I'd go to the most obscure locations, and... eventually he'd show up. I put my foot down and told him that this was too much. He apologized and said he'd keep his distance. I kept him on my friends list so I could see if he was sticking to his word. However, the need was stronger than his will. He eventually told me he was going to need to unfriend me because he couldn't help himself, he needed to know where I was at all times and he just wanted to be near her. (Edit: This is where he explained to me that he is on the spectrum and why he was behaving the way he was). So, he unfriended me. I allowed him to keep talking to me on Discord.

This would be a recurring pattern for some time. I took pity on him because it was coming across as more of an addiction he couldn't help, and being familiar with hyperfixations, I knew his intentions weren't malicious. We'd go long periods without running into each other but then eventually he would spot me in the crowd or see me post in a mutual Discord server. And I'd foolishly hope maybe he'd moved on.

Nope! Every single time, right back at it. I once watched, pretending I was afk while he just stood there next to me targeting me in-game for 25 minutes and DM me about how pretty she was. It would appear he'd added me as a friend again. I once again had a talk with him about how he was crossing my boundaries. He was more than welcome to talk to me on Discord, however, constantly searching for me in-game was taking a toll on me. He respectfully backed off again.

I should have given up there and considered this guy a lost cause. More months passed and he once again spotted me in Ul'dah. He sent me a tell and asked me how I'd been and what I'd been up to. I relayed all that had been going on with me, which was a lot, and I will fill in those gasp, but the most crucial mistake I'd made was that I mentioned that I'd ended things with my RP partner. And what I also failed to mention, which in my defense it wasn't confirmed yet, but my character had already met someone else (I ended the RP partnership in December and started RPing with this person in Feb, and now it was March). At first it seemed all fine and dandy, he too was in an RP partnership. His character finally met someone. Only... a week later he sent me a tell, "Guess who's single now!" Immediate dread. I responded, "Guess who's off the market! My character met someone and they just made it official."

He did not take this well. He logged out and immediately the man started spiraling in my DMs on Discord. I'm talking dozens upon dozens of messages rapid fire going off in Discord. It took me awhile to gain the spoons to read it all, and oh boy. He started going on about how he was hoping I'd give him a chance to be my character's partner. He then started going on about how he was beginning to realize that those feelings weren't just for my character, but for me as well. He thought that he'd finally met someone who he had a true connection with. I saw nothing of the sort. I suppose if one is inexperienced, having a really supportive friend of your preferred sex might make one think such things, but not once did I ever consider him a potential partner. He was an excellent writer and I'd honestly recommend him to anyone looking for an RP partner. But we were on completely different pages. I let him down gently, telling him I simply didn't feel the same way. He was a good friend, but that's all I saw in him. He continued to spiral, filling my DMs that I quite frankly did not bother to read because I knew he was impulsively acting upon his emotions in the moment, and they were intensified by the fact that he was hyperfixating on my character.

I haven't spoken to him since, and he hasn't reached out to me. I hope he's found healthier things to focus on. I hope it's not a person or someone's character.

Potential Questions

How do you know that he was Aut!st!c and what does that have to do with anything?

I'm repeating what he said. He used it as an explanation when I approached him to talk about the issues I was having with him. If anything I feel bad because he admired me for not shaming him when he admitted he was on the spectrum and had developed a hyperfixation on my character. Otherwise, he was previously removed from communities for similar behavior. Often when people in towns saw me talking to him, they'd give me a heads up and try to warn me about him, but I wanted to give him a chance. Someone saw the first initial post of this entry and sent me a message telling me how ableist I was being for mentioning he was Aut!st!c and hyperfixated on my character as his behavior has absolutely nothing to do with him being Aut!st!c. These were his words. And there should be no shame in hyperfixation. It's an extremely common trait in people on the spectrum and with 80HD. I'd say 95% of the time it's perfectly fine, admirable even. But we cannot deny it can get unhealthy when it is directed at another person.

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maxellminidisc · 1 year

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Because Shinee has been my hyperfixation for the last 2 years...The Misconceptions of US

FUCK YEAH FINALLY A SHINEE ALBUM!!! AND it's like one of my top 5 shinee albums, so this is going to be hard:

Selene 6.23- How could I not? I tried so hard to not pick her but its impossible. She is one of the Shinee songs of all time. One of the greatest pop ballads ever written and sung, period. The vocal arrangements and delivery on this recorded AND live are always magnificent, emotionally compelling to such a degree you really can and will probably cry. The beautiful use of orchestral arrangements is neither too heavy or too underutilized; its just right and floating effortlessly behind the power house vocals without being completely overwhelmed in the mix doing just as good a job to stir the heart. The lyrics...forget about it I'll be here all daaayy!!!

Orgel- another beloved b-side but I think this one is worth giving props to because the experimentation going on here is so so good and fun to listen to. The tone is r&b but theres something almost idk baroque? like about the constant use of off beat syncopation!! I also love the signature Shinee key change to flip the mood when it hits the bridge.

Like A Fire- I sat here like King Solomon reduced to thinking I needed to cut the metaphorical baby in half between this one and Excuse Me Miss (and Medusa II AND Sleepless Night but WHATEVER!) in order to force myself into a decision and it worked. What this one has over Excuse Me Miss for me is the dynamicism. Musically and vocally theres a lot of shifts and changes to keep it from feeling too repetitive in combination with Shinee's unbeatable capacity to keep nostalgia fresh and hard to ignore. The vocal acrobatics going on in the ad libs is also INSANE, it's too good to ignore.

Tani, this felt like pulling teeeeeeth!!!!! Lmao but thank youuu!!! 🥰😘😘

#tiny-shadow #ask

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shatterspin · 3 years

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absolute mess of my random ninjago headcanons if you still want them:

-Cole is HoH and wears an earring on the ear that hears better so people remember which direction to talk

-Jay and Lloyd are both ADHD (Lloyd is autistic as well) and united they are a force of chaos. they nerd out over starfarer and other hyperfixations they've shoved at each other over the years, and have gone to cons together

-Cole and Zane are also both autistic. Zane is aware of the notable difference between how he communicates/behaves and how the average person does. Cole often doesn't know and doesn't care. This results in both of them being different flavors of socially awkward but Cole being 10x more confident about it. It ends up helping Zane to feel more accepted and to gain confidence in himself as well.

-Garmadon had a section of time between seasons 2 and 3 where he was no longer evil but was just a weirdo because he was trying to enjoy life again and went through some Phases. he attempted to learn a bunch of jokes for a while. it was painful. but Lloyd, Misako, and Wu were just glad to see him happy and free again

-Nya gives really good hugs, but is hesitant to ask for affection for herself. she fears depending on others too greatly, and this was a strain on her relationship with Jay until they talked some things out.

-Jay's music taste is like *7 dubstep songs in a row, anime theme song, more dubstep, money machine by 100 gecs, more dubstep, random 80's love song with the opposite vibe of the entire playlist, more dubstep, 6 consecutive 100 gecs songs, thunderstruck by ACDC, more dubstep--*

-Cole cannot STAND this

-Kai is dyslexic but didn't know it for years and thought reading must just be Like That

-Pixal helped Zane run diagnostics on himself when she was in his head. Without her he has a bit more difficulty figuring out where he is damaged or if he needs maintenance. he's somewhat out of touch with his body at times

-Lloyd, Jay, and Nya all bit people when they were kids

-Kai has therefore been bitten by both Lloyd and Nya. and threatened by Jay

-Wu genuinely doesn't remember his age at this point. like why keep counting

-Zane bribed his way into Lloyd's heart with food very early into the friendship and they've always been chill with each other since

-Kai always felt untalented as a kid while Nya seemed to be able to pick up a wide range of skills and hobbies, so his abilities as a ninja are more personal and vital to him than to most of the team

-every single one of them has accidentally called Wu dad

ooug u sent a lot!!! thank you! the numbered points r corresponding to the hcs points

they're debating if it's worth going for the other con days after the first day

4. garmadon would've been alive for way too long so he's also has time earlier going thru different phases

6. ed also collected old music that he might've found/bought and would play them a lot at home so there's just a bunch of super old n obscure music in the mix

8. the others would've noticed smth might've been wrong once he starts trying to reading smth long out loud

11. kai being bitten by nya n lloyd can just be excused since they are kids. jay has no excuse, he will die if he actually bit kai.

12. both him and garmadon didnt keep any track from the beginning since FSM didn't need to remember when they were born, it's not like they would've needed to fill out some kinda documents or smth? i don't think so at least. right now they do have fake birth dates just for the sake of documents tho

14. when they were younger, kai didn't have any time to focus on hobbies and wanted to help out his neighbors that took him and nya in as much as they could and any free time he had he would spend it w nya or attempting to blacksmith

15. in the beginning when only a few of them did call wu "dad" by accident, they would make fun of each other for making such a mistake but once all of them has accidentally called wu "dad" at least once they would just stop making fun of each other bc theyd be made fun of back

#ninjago #anyway thank u!#pinstripes-of-doom #my art

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flying-elliska · 3 years

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Shadow and Bone Season 1 Review

Ok so I got distracted by a need to watch all of Ben Barnes' filmography (lmao) but here is my review : It was really fun to watch and it was clearly made with love which is already the main thing with YA fantasy, which is often turned into a soulless moneygrab when put on screen. The actors were GREAT. I did think that the Crows suffered from being mashed up with the Shadow and Bone story, but they were still a highlight. I also think it was a bit rushed, esp. when it came to Alina's training. The costumes were beautiful, I want a kefta now. Plus the crossover fanfic interactions btw the SaB characters and the Crows were just pure joy. Also Milo, obviously <3 I'm in hyperfixation mode so here, have an essay :

The "Shadow and Bone" Characters :

- Jessie Mei Li !!!!!! She really made me like Alina so much more than in the books, she absolutely is the 'human embodiment of literal sunshine' and she was a joy to watch. Her character's arc is cliché but her acting is so expressive and endearing, I really felt for her all the way through. (maybe I'm biased bc Jessie talking about her ADHD and seeing her thrive at the same time is like!!! i love them they deserve all the best.) I like that they made Alina more proactive - even though she does make some stupid decisions... but I just don't understand people who put that down as bad writing, like ??? have you ever met a real person who only makes wise, good decisions ?? a character like that would either be at the end of their story or just in the background because that makes them static. The things with the maps in the beginning does a good job of illustrating how she is just this one girl making rash, erratic decisions out of fear and loyalty and doesn't have a sense of the bigger picture, caught in the tide of bigger events. It works for her character. When it comes to the choice of making her half-Shu, I do think it really makes sense re: her character feeling like an outsider but I do understand the criticisms that the microaggressions felt too relentless and one-note. I am really looking forward to them introducing Tamar and Tolya and hopefully connecting to them over her heritage in a more positive way.

- Mal in the books was one of the most annoying YA characters I've ever come across, so I really liked that they made him much more of a loyal, devoted friend. I found his relationship with Alina cute, it really gives us the sense that these are two orphans who found a home in each other, childhood best friends (and potential sweethearts) separated by war, two army grunts and ordinary people caught up in the wheels of power and war that usually crushes people like them, it's a great way to introduce the dynamics of their world and it's a trope that always makes me emo. It felt a bit too one note to me, though, and too heavily on the nose, like Mal's only personality was his attachment to Alina (and his resentment towards the Grisha) and too much of her emotional arc also relied on him. Them hitting us over the head with the meadow scenes felt like pure telling instead of showing and it ended up being super repetitive and kind of annoying. I am willing to like this pairing, but I wanted more scenes of them just having conversations about things and really understanding why they like each other beyond the whole childhood friends bond that we're asked to accept exists at the beginning. So I hope there's more depth there in next seasons.

- Ben Barnes!!!! Just jksdfhgkdjghdf. I'm not a big villain stan usually and I hated the Darkling in the books but DAMN his performance is just amazing. They managed to make him more sympathetic and human while at the same time making clear the stuff he does is deeply horrible. There's the Magneto-aspect of 'well clearly his methods are fucked up but he's addressing a terrible injustice nobody is doing anything about' that makes it very tempting to root for him ; and again, well, like, Ben Barnes is so hot and charismatic it feels uncomfortable (which I guess is part of the point lol). His loss of humanity is, up to a point, understandable, brought about by despair, loneliness, grief and a sense of powerlessness - living so long he starts to see other people as disposable, losing so many people he stops caring, seeing over and over how hate never seems to stop, etc. It's a logical explanation for going insane.

But the hunger for power is also very much present as a motivation and this ambiguity is there constantly. Does he maybe come to genuinely care for Alina or is it totally bullshit ? I think he does, he's just so fucked up that it comes out as possessiveness and a need to control her. He wants Alina to be his equal but he's incapable of treating her that way. It's tragic, in a sense, but the show doesn't excuse his actions either. Like his monstrosity is a product of this world full of injustice, yes, and that warrants some compassion, monsters are always a symptom of their environment in some ways and dehumanizing them completely is an excuse ; but at the same time, he sabotaged his own cause anyway the moment he started to treat other people like things, as he does with Alina, because that just perpetuates the cycle of violence and hate. At some point he started feeling like he was the only solution and he was owed power for his sacrifices, and he's using his cause as an excuse. When Alina came to him, there was a possibility for redemption, taking down the Fold, and it's a test because there is finally someone on his level of power. But instead of seeking to remedy the power imbalance between them, he made it worse, by lying to her, manipulating her, etc, and the antler collar is the ultimate sign of this.

I love those scenes towards the end (the antler-based body horror has big Hannibal vibes, so messed up). I like Alina telling him they could have had this, that she had compassion for him and his cause, that they could have worked together, and he's the one responsible for screwing it up and this time his claim that he's the misunderstood victim ("Make me your villain") appears delusional and self-serving instead of somewhat justified. The almost-lovers to enemies vibes, the sense of lost potential, and the angst of the whole 'oh you could finally have been loved by people, too bad you fucked it up !', very juicy. There is this fundamental idea that power/respect/love is not something you are owed no matter how good your intentions are or because you're strong or you have suffered or you're willing to commit horrible drastic actions, you have to keep proving you deserve it, and trying to claim power without responsibility of care turns you into a monster. The thing with the stag was an excellent metaphor of the fact that there's things you can't take, they have to be given to you, and the wonderful power there is in understanding that is what allows Alina to harness the stag amplifier's power. This is really when she escapes his grim utilitarian outlook and a different way forward and owns her own power fully on her own terms.

Anyway I hope Alina gets to beat the shit out of him at some point that would be very sexy but I'm also looking forward to see how their arcs parallel and diverge from each other as Alina starts to grapple more with the implications of her power and the harsh dilemmas of war and her own dark side. I want to see him become scared of her, and I feel it will be more visible than in the books where he just has this cold aggressive facade all the time. This one feels a lot more openly emotional which is just a lot more interesting.

- As for the other characters ; Zoya mostly made me sad. The actress has the perfect vibes but I'm not sure I love their take on her character so far, it does make sense in terms of the later books - that she has internalized prejudice regarding her mixed-race heritage, that she is jealous of Alina because of how hard she's fought to get where she is and Alina kind of takes it away from her, etc. But I would have liked to see a bit more of her being badass and sharp-tongued in a clever (even if mean) way instead of spending most of her time being rejected by men and being racist towards Alina. I did like the ending though, of her actually seeing the monstrosity of the Darkling in action and the mention of her aunt. And her brief bonding with Inej was great, just because it was badass but also maybe because it could be a part of Zoya learning to accept her Suli heritage in turn, maybe not right away but in time, when thinking of that part of herself, she won't only think of her parents' ruined marriage and all the pain it caused, but also of that badass and brave acrobat girl who went toe to toe with these really scary monsters without even having any powers and !!!!!

- Also Leigh's cameo was so cute and as an aspiring writer this is just such wish fulfillment

- I honestly think that having the Crows there actually made the S&B story better ? Not only in terms of the much needed levity breaks but also in terms of themes. For instance, Matthias and Nina's story gave us a really raw and visceral view of how the Grisha are hunted. And Inej's relationship to Alina really gave us a sense of what Alina actually means to people who believe in the Saints in a way that doesn't feel just like 'ugh those superstitious people' because we know that Inej's faith is part of what makes her who she is and a person with morals, and something that saw her through the worst moments of her life. It feels so special that she got to meet Alina and given a sign that maybe the world is not completely shitty. And Alina's kindness towards Inej really gives you a sense that she might be, or become worthy of that belief in time, or at least that she wants to, that she's figuring out her power to really touch people's lives might be a good thing, and that she's starting to accept this responsibility more fully. And her arming Inej is a nice parallel to that. I'm very emotional about this scene, because one of the first things we see of young Alina is her taking out a knife to defend Mal from the bullies, because she's protective and brave, but she's also aware the world is a shitty place, and so her giving that knife to Inej is a sort of spiritual transmission and recognition of sorts, that she trusts Inej with that fighting power, that she'll use this knife to defend herself and her loved ones and not abuse it. It's so interesting. And a counter point to the Darkling's fucked up relationship to power that Alina might at some point get afraid she'll replicate. That you could see Alina trying to gather followers and using people's admiration for her like he did but instead she sets them free and empowers them. It's great. And I feel that when Inej takes to the seas, she'll think about Alina. (I do hope somebody tells her Alina's not dead at some point though god). Girls giving each other knives is my spirituality, honestly.

- And I also noticed an interesting parallel between Kaz and the Darkling in terms of being two emo dudes who like to wear black, are prone to violence and have a thing for two very powerful women they think are special and want to have at their side, but of course, they go about it in very different ways. The Darkling comes at it from a place of power while Kaz comes from a place of utter powerlessness, first of all, and he understands why it's important to set Inej free. Him spending the entire season trying to earn enough money to pay off Inej's indenture is the opposite to the Darkling putting that collar on Alina and while I do have issues with how the show portrays him, I do love that. Love is about setting the person you love free !!!! And that confrontation scene was so powerful, when Kaz tells the Darkling Alina was tired of being a captive ! Drag him !

- As for Genya, I liked the actress and her chemistry with Alina, but I'm not sure they did a great job of making her arc very clear, for instance what it means for her to get that red kefta, her relationship with the other Grisha, etc. Her and David are already very cute though. Also very much looking forward to see where that goes.

So yeah I think they did a great job with this bit actually, I enjoyed a lot more than I think I would and even though it is a very tropey story, there's plenty of depth there too.

The Crows :

- I'm a bit more nitpicky about this because I care about these characters so much. I think overall the problem is that the SaB story in the books happens on this massive scale with enormous stakes, and that next to that the Crows' issues feel less important ; it's like their impact is distorted by the gravity of the much larger story. Like for instance, Kaz in the books is very much at the center of everything, this larger than life trickster figure who knows and controls almost everything by sheer cleverness, and he has this sense of allure and mystique that can't happen here, and so his aura just shrinks. On top of that they're not on their home turf. Being introduced to these characters before they've reached their full levels of badass is weird - there is a reason why prequels generally happen after the main stuff, because they count on the love you have for these characters at their full potential to make you interested in their story when they were less badass and interesting. So I had several moments where I was like 'oh this feels wrong'. Tbh the idea that they would even volunteer to kidnap Alina in the first place, what with Inej's backstory, feels kind of wrong, esp since they had no idea of what would happen to her if they succeeded.

- But I still enjoyed a lot of it though, especially the fact that they were this force of chaos in the midst of this bigger narrative that's a lot more self-serious. The bits with the train, or the circus acts were very clever. A lot of the best moments in the show happen when they come to disturb the other plot in unexpected ways. I'm still dead over the whole 'Alina jumps into their carriage' scene, that was fucking gold. The team up at the end !!!! Alina and Kaz making a deal ! Inej stabbing the Darkling !!!! Them stealing the Darkling's carriage !!! They don't give a shit that the story is supposed to be super dramatic it's great.

- Jesper is the one character they completely nailed from start to finish and he's probably my favorite part of the whole show. He's very funny without being reduced to the role of comic relief ; he's just so! damn! cool!!!!!!! I honestly feel this is a thing they actually did even better than in the books, or at least Six of Crows where I felt Jasper kind of disappeared behind Kaz and they insist a lot on his flaws and issues. So before we dig more into those problems I love that they gave him time to be this ultra badass who saves the day several times ; while at the same time, hinting at further developments like his powers or his gambling issues. Kit Young is just perfect, confident without being arrogant, a bit cold when it comes to crime while at the same time being so obviously caring with Inej - I loved their friendship, that was so sweet. My main criticism is that they should have made it clearer he was bi because there are already people calling him gay and that's very annoying. I know some people had a problem with his hookup and like...I can see it's a bit of a cliché...the charming badass bisexual adventurer....it's a trope I kind of love though lmao and the scene itself felt kind of cute and fun. He's not the only person who is shown to have an active sexuality and he's also not the only queer person around and we know he's going to have a more substantial romantic arc later so eh. On a larger note I loved the little casual hints of completely normalized queerness - Nadia thirsting over Zoya, Fedyor and Ivan, Poppy, etc. Having grown up with fantasy where queerness was either completely erased or very tormented and problematic, this was refreshing as hell.

- Inej and Kaz...my faves... They have a kind of relationship which feels so rare and unique in terms of what exists on TV and while I don't feel they entirely replicated it, the core is still there - the mutual respect and building of trust, the longing, the repression, the trauma, etc. One thing I really like is their arc around faith - in the books, Kaz is dismissive of Inej's faith in ways that often feel really shitty and I like that he learns to be more respectful of it. It's very much linked to hope/survival ; Inej keeps this token from her parents and she hopes to find them again ; Kaz tells her it's no use and she'll survive better if she gives up. He believes Alina is a fake, while Inej wants to believe that myths can come true and there is hope for good things in the world. Kaz comes to accept that Alina is the real deal and, out of respect for Inej's faith, to stop pursuing her. I loved the bit about Inej struggling to kill as well - it's the dilemma of what her survival and that of the people she really cares about are worth in such a shitty world - her compassion is a good part of her but so is her survival instinct, and that's the part Kaz represents - that even after she's been through hell, broken in unfathomable ways, even if she gave up all hope and faith in the world, even she becomes dangerous and ruthless to survive, she will still deserve dignity, and to be treated better. And meanwhile she is willing to break her principles, which she holds so dearly, to save him, when he's never had anyone who cared for him like that - enough to keep him alive. That bit in the church !!!!! God !!!!!! Bye !!!!!!! And then him basically calling her his own version of a Saint, that he doesn't believe in miracles but he does believe in her !!! It's very emblematic of their whole arc ; he empowers her to survive in a ruthless world and loves her at her most dangerous ; but he loves her laugh too, he finds her a ship and her parents, he honors her capacity for love and hope even when he can't share it. And she sees that he's capable of doing better, that he's worth caring for. This whole thing kills me honestly and I can't wait to see where they take this next. I'm not mad they're a bit more soft and obvious than in the books, Kaz would just have come across as an an asshole otherwise.

- That said, there are bits of how they introduced their backstories I don't like. I get that making it so Inej was still tied to the Menagerie gave them a very powerful reason to want to kidnap Alina beyond greed so that they wouldn't look like very shitty people. But in the books Inej is terrified by the idea of simply seeing Heleen or the Menagerie and the way they have her interact with her feels weirdly casual and dismissive of her trauma. Also, in the books, the fact that Kaz had to convince Per Haskell to buy Inej's contract through a lot of effort, that he wasn't the one holding that above her head either, made the power dynamics more palatable. I especially disliked the scene where Kaz says he won't free other girls because just Inej is special, it makes him look like he has the power but he's just too much of a callous asshole to do it, and that he just freed Inej because he liked her which is absolutely not what their relationship is about at the start, it's a lot more about seeing Inej's dangerous side behind a facade of powerlessness and relating to her, in a sense, and this scene made it all feel cheap.

- Also, what was that about Inej having a brother ? Not a fan of that either. I'm afraid they're going to make her story all about finding what happened to him, and that's 1) too on the nose similar to Kaz's story and 2) it kind of cheapens her own arc, a female character realizing that what was done to her was wrong, reclaiming her own power and dignity and then making sure it doesn't happen to anybody else, harnessing her personal experience to save strangers, that's so powerful - making it about a family member at first, especially if it's about revenge, it's so much more simplistic and unoriginal and the perspective really annoys me.

- Also not a fan of Per Haskell not being there because he's a very important part of Kaz's evolution, so I hope he shows up eventually - and the way they introduced Pekka Rollins was kind of like...weird and out of place. I just found the Crows' introduction scenes stilted and not as cool as they should have been - well, Jesper and Inej were very cool, but we needed to see Kaz in action first, we needed to see why he's such a menace before we see him flounder later, and I just...I don't know exactly but it didn't work for me. Also this is a very petty thing but I wasn't crazy about the Ketterdam sets, I know this is probably a budget thing but in my head it looked like this incredible mix of Amsterdam and Venice - specific locations in the book directly remind me of parts of Amsterdam I know very well - and instead what we got felt like this very generic London-ish fantasy setting....so boring. Also a lot of scenes that felt to exposition-y. I don't mind that Kaz was a bit softer than in the books, like many people have said some things work in books and don't work on a screen, and you need to make the character's inner dynamics more explicit. But I do agree that, at the same time, he should have been more ruthless towards people outside of his group. Loved that scene where he faces the Inferni though, and how well they illustrated his disability and aversion to touch.

- I don't have that much to say about Nina and Matthias ; I'm still not super sold on the whole 'haha misogyny!' thing and I dislike that so much of Matthias' change of heart relies on the fact that he finds Nina hot. But I did think that the actors had enough chemistry to make their scenes together interesting and cute ; I loved the waffle scene. Even though it's disappointing that they didn't find an actress who was more clearly plus size for Nina, I still think Danielle does a good job bringing her bold, unapologetic energy. I'm really looking forward to seeing the Crows as a whole team.

So yeah, even though the season didn't feel like a perfect, coherent whole, it was just a lot of fun and I really hope they get renewed. In particular I feel like tying the first trilogy to the Crows' story could create such interesting parallels in terms of themes, about power, the cost of survival, hope, trauma, etc etc

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #grishaverse #six of crows #leigh bardugo

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hollowmossart · 4 years

Text

Alright I don’t know what prompted this. It’s 11:06 at night, although time is fake so who knows. General TW/CW for mentions of violence and such. It’s fanfiction. side note: these are all fictions I find while scrolling Ao3 that I get stronger reactions to the tags or description from! If any of these are yours and you do not want them here, please message me and tell me

This will also include my reaction to the fan fictions but entirely judging the book my it’s cover (in this case, tags, fandoms, and descriptions) on whether I would read/have read or not. If I’ve read it, there will be a rating/recommendation

-Assimilate by AlacrityAbound-

•words: 2,882•

Rating: Incomplete, Teen+, M/M, Graphic Depictions of Violence

Description:

”He saved them all, he had to remember that. He had saved everyone from this terrible fate, from the life he now had to live. They didn’t understand, would never understand, nor would they know the lengths their Voice would go to protect them.”

H-huh??? No no no this sounds painful.

Tags:

“The smiling god”

oh no

”hurt and very little comfort”

EXCUSE ME? PLEASE NO

”believeinasmilingcecil”

OKAY LISTEN. IVE WRITTEN THIS BEFORE. IVE COSPLAYED THIS BEFORE. BUT F-CK THIS AU LMAO

”betrayal”

um. to whom,, may i ask??

Will I be reading this?

Maybe if I grow to a point of numb where I turn to Strex!Cecil in order to feel? Maybe if I just need to cry.

-Dinner Break by StarshipRangerBoyWonder-

Rating: Completed, M/M, General Aud.

•words: 1,717•

Description:

"Cecil’s in desperate need of some food. Lucky for him, Carlos comes to the rescue."

Firstly, this sounds like sm-t, though it’s not marked as being such. I do have to note, one of the fandoms listed, along with the obvious WNTV, is. McDonalds..? Is there actually a fandom?? Secondly, Carlos to the rescue.

Tags:

”Cecil/Chicken Nuggets”

Please.. please tell me this is not a ship. This can’t be right??? Wot?? I’m scared mom come pick me up. I need Carlos and Martin(tma) and my boyfriend in a cuddle pile with me right now.

”duck”

..duck goose?

”Kentucky does not exist” “I repeat” “Kentucky” “does” “Not” “exist”

Gotcha! Makes perfect sense! thank you night vale

Will I be reading this?

likely.. not. the tags mixed with the description have me in fear of my brain cells. i have so few left.

-Absolutely Facinating, Scientifically Speaking, by zombified_queer

Rating: Completed , Teen+, M/M

•words: 584•

Description:

"Carlos was just out doing some shopping when he just about had a heart attack. Still, it was facinating, scientifically speaking."

To be fair, without the tags this one would not have caught my eyes, however, the tags are as follows:

Tags:

"Earl Harlan is a merman"

Okay... Go on..?

"The aquatic hamster ball"

Firstly, huh? I think I have been in one of these. It leaked and got my jeans wet. Secondly, really weird deja vu right there.

"Earl is loosely based on the zebra turkeyfish"

..The what now? DId I miss a few episodes or--

Will I read this?

It is relatively short for my liking, however, I have extrmely curious. I've read the works of this fandom and I've seen just how weird it can be. I might.

A remembrance of strange things, by Pseudothyrum

Rating: Completed, M/M, General Aud.

•words: 630•

Description:

"There isn't enough coffee in the world to deal with Night Vale"

Me reading some of the tags/descriptions of fanfiction at what is now 11:57pm on a Monday. Giving off the vibes of a Cecil POV.

Tags:

"wall tentacles"

... what? yknow.. its not as strange as it could be..

"crack"

ah a crack fic. that last tag is a bit less concerning now.

"definitely not ghosts"

hey uhh i think they're might actually be ghosties.

"blood"

did i accidently find a hannibal x will fic.

Will I read this?

Again, it is super short, so I likely won't. I gotta point out, most wtnv fanfiction would be considered crack fic by any other fandom, so this fandom's idea of 'crack fic' concerns me. I might check it out. Not super high on my look out.

-Endless Wedge, by the_angst_alchemist

Rating: Major Ch. Death, M/M, complete

•words: 1,397•

Description:

"Years have passed since that snowfall way back when, and Carlos can still recall every second when he wasn't able to say those words to the man he cared about. So in order to keep that broken voice preserved in his mind, he's kept his own voice quiet."

..Oh wow. Ow. This one caught my eye with tags that made me giggle, but a caption that made me well aware I will cry upon reading it. The description suggests it is well written, I want to even say beautiful. It also hurts because how dare you make Carlos sad?

Tags:

"Carlos doesn't cope well with death"

:( baby no its okay (Have I mentioned I'm a simp?)

"Cecil doesn't cope well with being dead"

I think that's the general consensus of the public, Ceec

"endless wedge"

Sounds like this is describing an emotion? Maybe the wedge of pain in my heart when I read this.

Will I read this?

Oh no doubt in my wee brain. I wish to hurt this good please. It seems amazingly written judging solely on the description, and has a decent amount of words for my liking! I will update when I have read it. I just noticed it's a part two, so I might have even more pain to bear first.

I will update this post when I go through more! It's currently 12:25AM on 12/01/20 on a god damned Tuesday why did I hyperfixate on this for an hour and a half.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #wtnv fanfiction #welcome to night vale fanfiction #fanfiction #ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction reaction #cecil palmer #cecil gershwin palmer #carlos the scientist

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calpalirwin · 4 years

Text

Stamp of Approval

Summary: Vanessa’s world meets Ashton’s.

A/N: My newest hyperfixation. If you ever have any ideas or questions, I will HAPPILY make those requests come to life.

Word Count: 4.2k

And away, and away we go!

“So, when do I finally get to meet Mase? Or when do I get to take you over to meet my friends?” Ashton asked after four months of coffee dates mixed with a handful of actual nights out.

“Ash…” Vanessa said, taking a sip of her coffee to avoid answering.

“I know. You have to ease Mase into the idea. But I’m dying to meet him. Finn too. And my friends are dying to meet you both. Y/N especially because she doesn’t have a lot of mom friends.”

“I can’t do both at once, Ash. Mase can meet you. And I can meet your friends. But I can’t have Mase meet you and your friends on the same day. That’d be too much.”

Ashton nodded in understanding. “No, yeah. I get that. Sorry, I don’t mean to put you on the spot.”

“No, I know you don’t. I’d love for you to meet Mase. Maybe you can come by next Saturday. I usually take him to the park aft-“

“After grocery shopping, yeah. Yeah, that’d be great. Is that enough time for Mase?”

“Oh, yeah. As long as we still go to the park it should be okay.”

He leaned across the table to give her a swift kiss. “I can’t wait, baby.”

~~~

“Hi, my sweet boy!” Vanessa cried out happily as Mason rushed over to her.

“Momma,” he greeted, pressing his forehead into her chest as she crouched.

“Yes, sweet boy. I’m Momma.” Four months later that word still warmed her heart, similar to the way it warmed Finn’s when Mason said “Daddy.” He had yet to say any other words beyond his parents’ names, but neither of them cared. “Did you have fun with Daddy?”

“Daddy,” Mason nodded.

“Anything new?” Her question was directed at Finn.

“Nope. Same old, same old. He switched from yellow to brown so we’re back to pancakes and chicken strips.”

Vanessa let out a sigh of relief. “If I see another box of macaroni…”

Finn laughed. “Yeah. How’re things with Ash?”

“Good. He wants to meet you guys.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. So I was thinking I’d introduce him and Mase on Saturday, and then maybe have Ashton join us for dinner after?”

“Yeah, that works for me.”

“How are things going for you?”

He shrugged. “Not really trying all that hard. Maybe after this one makes their appearance.” He nodded at her baby bump.

“Oh yeah… I can’t imagine that going over well. Hot, single dad, sure. But mention the pregnant baby momma, and it’s game over.”

“Exactly,” Finn laughed. “But it’s whatever. Can’t all get lucky, and find love in a coffee shop.”

“Who said anything about love?”

Finn laughed more. “Nobody had to say anything. I know you, Ness. I know what you look like when you’re in love with someone. And I’m betting he feels the same way. ”

“Then why hasn’t he said it?”

“Why haven’t you?” Finn countered.

“Because our worlds are about to overlap. And if it goes wrong, I’d rather not have admitted how I actually feel towards him.”

“Well there ya go. And maybe it doesn’t have to be said right now. Like you said, your worlds are about to overlap. That wouldn’t be happening if you felt just okay about each other.”

“Thanks, Finn. You should become like a therapist or something,” she teased.

“Ha-ha, very funny.” He rolled his eyes and threw one of his fries at her.

~~~

All week, Vanessa prepared Mason for meeting Ashton. “We’re gonna go to the park, and meet one of Momma’s friends, okay?” she told him and watched as he nodded with his baby doe eyes.

“Okay, sweet boy, you ready to go to the park, and meet Momma’s friend?” she asked him on Saturday after lunch.

Outside! Mason pointed excitedly out the window.

“Yeah, we’re gonna go to the park and play. Can you go find your shoes for me?”

The little boy made a mad dash for the shoe rack, grabbing his rain boots which were still his favorite. He sat down on the floor and tried his best to tug them onto his feet. “Momma!” he grunted, pulling at the little straps at the top.

“Okay, ready?” she asked, her hand hovering above his leg.

“Momma,” he nodded frantically, needing the boots on now.

She held his leg with one hand and used her other to push the bottom of the shoe on his foot. “Alright. Other foot. There we go! Okay, we’re already to play now. Let’s go.”

Ashton was waiting against his car when Vanessa pulled into the spot next to him. “Am I ever going to get somewhere before you?” she joked as she got out and went around to the backseat passenger side to get Mason out of his carseat.

“Probably not,” Ashton grinned. “But that’s okay. 1.) you’re worth the wait, and 2.) you got a pretty good excuse.”

“Ha-ha, very funny,” she quipped as she unclipped Mason and helped him down.

“Momma,” Mason gasped, pointing up at Ashton and moving behind her leg.

She placed her hand securely on her son’s shoulder, letting him know everything was okay. “Yes, sweet boy. This is Momma’s friend, Ashton. Can you say hi?”

“Momma,” Mason mumbled with uncertainty, but moved out from hiding fully behind his mom.

“Hi, Mase.” Ashton crouched down on his heels. “Whoa! Are those dinosaurs on your boots?! Super cool!”

Vanessa gasped, crouching down with Ashton. “He likes your boots, Mase. You sure you don’t wanna say hi?”

Mason laid his forehead against Ashton’s arm. “Aw, are you giving Ash a hug, my sweet boy?” Vanessa asked, her voice high with encouragement.

“Momma,” Mason nodded, pointing at the playground.

“Yeah, we can go play now. Hand, please.” She laid her palm out for her son to take, but to her surprise he made grabby hands at Ashton while whining. “Yeah, Ash is coming with us. C’mon, hand please.”

Mason stomped his foot and repeated grabbing at Ashton, the whine angrier.

Ashton held out his hand and Mason slapped his little one into it.

Vanessa damn near cried.

~~~

“Daddy!” Mason shrieked, pointing at Finn and tugging hard on Ashton’s hand.

“Yes, I know you’re excited, but look, Mase,” Vanessa told him, pointing out the cars in the parking lot. “See the cars? We have to be safe.”

Mason tugged at Ashton’s hand again.

“Yes, you are holding a grown up’s hand. Good job. But we can’t run because it’s not safe.”

“Da-dddy!” Mason told her, making an angry face.

“We don’t run in parking lots,” she enunciated each word slowly.

Mason wailed.

“One of those days, huh?” Finn asked, crouching down as the couple made it safely across the parking lot and Mason barreled into him.

“No, actually. He’s just mad I wouldn’t let him run across the parking lot to you.”

“Hey,” Finn told his son sternly, putting his hands on either of the boy’s shoulders. “Did you see the cars?” He waited for Mason to nod his head. “We don’t run where the cars are, Mason.”

Mason pointed angrily at Ashton before grabbing Finn’s hand.

“Holding a grown up’s hand doesn’t make running okay, Mason.”

The two year old let out another wail, this time turning to Vanessa for sympathy. “You can be mad,” she told him simply. “Finn, this is Ashton, my boyfriend. Ash, this is Mason’s dad, Finn.”

Both Ashton’s and Vanessa’s hearts raced at her openly calling him her boyfriend as he shook Finn’s hand. “Nice to meet ya, mate.”

“Yeah, same. Nessa’s told me a lot about you. How’d meeting this one go?” Finn’s hand dropped down to rest on Mason’s head who quickly swatted at his dad’s hand with his signature angry whine.

Ashton looked over at Vanessa as he rubbed at his neck. “Not too bad, I think.”

“Yeah, it went pretty great actually. Mase gave him a hug, and held his hand.”

“Ah, the Mason stamp of approval.”

“Exactly,” Vanessa smiled.

“So you think Mase’ll be okay meeting all his friends and stuff? That’s like what? 4 more adults, the little girl, and the dogs, yeah?” Finn thought out loud, trying to remember what Vanessa had told him about Ashton’s band family.

“Yep,” Ashton nodded. “Well, 5 adults because Lily’s dad, Cory would also go.

“I think he’ll be okay as long as we let him know,” Vanessa said.

“Yeah,” Finn agreed. “I mean, it’s worth a shot anyway, right? Ash, figure out a day that works for you and everyone, and Nessa, we can rearrange our days if it's a time I have him.”

“Oh, you’re invited, too,” Ashton told the other man. “Y/N’s very big on if it’s a family get-together, then it’s the whole family.

“Oh…” Finn was taken aback. “That’s uh… yeah, that’s cool. That actually might help Mase more too, having three people there he’s comfortable with. Shit. Yeah. Uh, any weekend should be fine then.”

“Momma!” Mason said, tugging at Vanessa’s hand before pointing at the restaurant.

All three adults' eyes went wide. “Yeah, Mase. We’re gonna go in to eat right now,” she told him before turning towards the men. “C’mon, we can discuss details of this family get-together of Ash’s over dinner.”

~~~

“You excited for tomorrow?” Ashton asked Vanessa as they sat in her small kitchen a couple weeks later. The plan was to spend the day at Calum’s BBQing and swimming.

“Oh yeah. Mase is a little water bug. He’s gonna love it.”

“That’s great,” Ashton smiled. “Fuck, everyone’s excited to meet you guys. Cal’s going crazy making sure he has stuff that Mase will eat. Luke and Y/N have been telling Lily all week that she’s gonna meet some new friends.”

“Aw!” Vanessa blushed. “You guys are too sweet. Tell Cal not to worry too much about it. I’d hate for him to have bought all this food for Mase, and Mase switched what he likes to eat again.”

“Oh, that’s why Cal went crazy overboard with food. Gonna be a fuckin rainbow display,” Ashton chuckled, showing her the picture Calum had sent him captioned “Yeah?”

“Oh, shit!” she laughed with him. “Yeah, he definitely didn’t have to do that. But that was really sweet of him.

“Yeah, that’s Cal for ya.” He leaned over to give her a deep kiss. “So, how do you want to spend today?”

“Mmm,” she sighed against his lips. “Can’t just kiss a girl like that, and then ask her what she wants to do.”

“And what happens if I kiss you like this?”

~~~

“Momma!” Mason said excitedly, tugging at Finn’s hand urging his dad to walk faster. Then, in confusion, he looked at Ashton and then up at Finn. “Daddy?”

“Tomorrow, bud. Swimming tomorrow. With all our new friends,” Finn told him.

“Momma,” Mason pouted, leaning his forehead against Vanessa as she crouched to give her son his hug.

“Yes, hi, my sweet boy. Did Daddy tell you what we’re gonna do tomorrow?”

Mason nodded, flapping his arms at his side.

“Yeah, that’s right! We’re gonna go swimming tomorrow. And we’re gonna have lots of fun, I promise.”

Mason pointed at Ashton before flapping his arms again and pouting.

“Tomorrow,” Finn reminded the boy. “Sorry, I’ve been telling him all week that the next time he sees Ash we’re gonna go swimming with new friends,” he explained to Ashton and Vanessa.

“No, it’s not your fault,” she brushed him off. “I know you’ve been telling him that. I didn’t even think about dinner tonight. I’m…”

“Whoa,” both the men told her as her brain spiraled, Ashton wrapping an arm over her. “Pregnancy brain. Shit happens,” Finn said, ushering them all inside the restaurant. “Mase is still super excited for tomorrow. Had a pretty good week, too, didn’t we bud?”

“Did we?” Vanessa asked, excited to hear all about Mason’s week.

~~~

Mason couldn’t sit still in his carseat on the drive over to Calum’s. Vanessa had a hell of a time getting him ready because he hadn’t stopped jumping since he woke her up at seven.

Mason’s rain boots thudded against the back of her seat. “Ow, Mason,” she scolded lightly, turning around in her seat while Ashton drove. “I know you’re excited, but be aware of your space.”

“Momma. Daddy?”

“Yes, you’ll see Daddy.”

“We’re here,” Ashton announced, pulling into Calum’s driveway. “And looks like we’re the first ones.”

“Okay, Mase. You ready to meet Calum and Duke?” Vanessa asked as she helped Mason down from his seat.

Her reply was a jump and an arm flap.

“Yes, swimming. But we have to try to say hi first, okay? You want to hold my hand or Ash’s hand?”

Mason flapped his hand against Ashton’s.

“Alright, bud,” Ashton smiled down at him, reaching for Vanessa with his free hand as they walked up Calum’s drive to his door. “Cal, it’s us, mate!” Ashton called out loudly, before letting go of his girlfriend’s hand to push his way inside Calum’s house.

Duke came skiddering out from around the couch, his nails clicking against the floor. Mason gasped, tugging at both Ashton and Vanessa.

“It’s okay,” Vanessa told him, crouching down and letting Duke sniff at her hand. “See?” she said, petting Duke’s head. “Good dog.”

“Oh, yeah,” Calum spoke up, crouching down across from Vanessa and helping her pet Duke. “He likes to be pet right here,” he directed Mason, his fingers scratching behind Duke’s ears.

Mason looked at his mom, sticking out his tongue and pretending to pant like a dog, pointing at Duke.

“Yeah, this is Duke. Do you want to give him pets?”

Mason slowly reached out pat Duke’s head.

“Good job, buddy!” Vanessa praised.

Ashton cleared his throat. “Uh, Cal. This is Vanessa, my girlfriend. And this is her son, Mason.”

“Yes, right,” Vanessa said, straightening up. “Hi!”

“Hi,” Calum grinned. “Nice to finally meet you. C’mon, I’ll show you the backyard so this one can get to swimming.”

Mason’s head snapped to attention at the word “swimming.” “Momma?” he asked.

“Yeah, sweet boy. You ready to go swimming?”

“Momma,” he nodded, then pointed at Calum. “Momma?”

“This is Calum. He’s gonna let us swim in his pool. Do you wanna say hi?”

“Momma,” he shook his head, reaching for Ashton’s hand.

“So, when’s everybody else getting here?” Ashton asked as they all walked through the house to the backyard.

“Mike texted that he was leaving just as you guys pulled up. So he should be here pretty soon. And Luke and Y/N had to stop by Cory’s to get him and Lily. Is Finn coming? It’s Finn, right?”

“Yeah,” Vanessa nodded. “He should be here at some point. I know he was gonna try to get some work done first.”

“Oh, what does he do?”

“He works for a counseling service. Trying to be a therapist.”

“Oh, shit. And what do you do?”

“Financial advisor.”

“Damn,” Calum whistled in appreciation, nudging Ashton’s arm. “Sure know how to pick the smart types, don’t ya mate?”

“Shut up,” Ashton muttered, his cheeks turning pink.

Mason gasped, his hands fluttering at his side as he saw the pool. “Momma!”

“Okay, we have to put sunscreen on first though,” she told him, grateful she had to sense to already have him dressed in his swim shirt and trunks.

He tugged down on his hat.

“Yeah, you gotta keep your hat on too.”

He pointed at his pool floatie resting at the top of their bag.

“Yep. Floatie too. But sunscreen first.” She reached into the bag to pull out the blue bottle.

Mason scrunched up his face.

“I know you don’t like it. But you still have to wear it. See?” She pointed up at the sun. “It’s hot.” She touched her arm. “Ouch.” She shook the bottle. “No ouch.”

He kept his face scrunched.

She sighed and dug around in the bag for the spray on sunscreen. “Do you want this kind? It’s faster.” She sprayed it across her own arms, legs, and face. “See? All done. Mase’s turn.”

He flinched away, but let her spray it on his arms and legs. When she held it up to his face, he blocked her with his hands. No! No, face!

“Okay, we’ll use the lotion for your face.” She grabbed the other bottle and squirted a little bit of it into her hand. She smeared it across her son’s nose, cheeks, and forehead, using her thumb to rub it in while he whined. “Yeah, I know you don’t like this part. But I’m almost done. See?” she pulled her hand away and rubbed the excess lotion across his neck. “All done. Now we can swim.”

Mason jumped excitedly.

“Yeah, we got to take off our shoes and put your floatie on.”

Mason was happily playing on the second step of Calum’s pool, Ashton sandwiched between Calum and Vanessa as they all sat on the ledge, when the back door opened and a blonde man with two dogs stepped outside. “Hey guys!” the man waved.

“Mikey!” the men greeted, nodding their heads.

Mason gasped, water droplets flying up when his hands hit the water. “Momma!” He pointed at Michael and the dogs.

“Yeah, more friends! You wanna go say hi?”

Mason shook his head, splashing at the water again. No, thanks. I’m swimming.

“Oh, hey there, buddy!” Michael cooed, coming to sit by the steps of the pool where Mason was. “You have dogs on your shirt! Do you like dogs too?”

Mason pointed at his Paw Patrol swim shirt and down at his matching trunks.

“Oh, you’re right! There’s doggies on your shorts too! Do you see the doggies over there?” Michael pointed to where Duke, Southy, and Moose were lazing in the shade.

Mason followed where Michael was pointing, and splashed at the water excitedly. Then, much like he had when he first saw Duke, he stuck out his tongue and panted at Michael.

“Yeah, those are the doggies!” Michael beamed at the boy. “I brought their toys so we can play with them later, okay?”

Mason nodded excitedly. “Momma!” he said, pointing up at Michael’s hair.

“Oh, you like my hair?” Michael asked, taking off his hat and ducking his head down.

Mason tentatively reached out a hand to touch Michael’s blond hair, shrieking in delight.

“Yellow’s his favorite color,” Vanessa explained. “He likes you.”

“Yes!” Michael pumped his fist in victory before flipping off Calum. “Suck it, Cal!”

Calum rolled his eyes. “Oh, piss off. Luke’s hair is the same color. And it’s curly. Your victory is short lived.”

Almost as if Calum willed it to be so, Luke strolled into the backyard, one hand helping swing Lily back and forth between him and his girlfriend. “Hey, guys!” Luke greeted cheerfully.

The little girl, clearly much more comfortable around everyone than Mason was, let go of the hands helping her swing and took off running for Calum who swooped her up in a bear hug.

“Momma!” Mason pointed at the yellow floatie hanging off of Cory’s arm who was a few paces behind the couple.

“Yes, it is yellow,” Vanessa agreed, pulling her feet out of the water and standing up with Ashton.

“Nessa,” Ashton started to introduce. “This is Mike, Luke and his girlfriend Y/N, Y/N’s daughter, Lily, and Cory. Guys, this is my girlfriend, Vanessa and her son Mason.”

The three men nodded at her with a polite “hello.” Y/N wrapped Vanessa in a hug, with a “Oh, it’s so good to finally meet you! So nice to have another girl around, too.”

“Hey!” all the guys pretended to be offended, Luke even crossing his arms and pouting.

“Oh, you’re all great, hush. Lily, look. We have a new friend. Do you want to come say hi to Mason and Vanessa?”

“Hi,” the little girl said shyly, waving at them from where she was situated on Calum’s hip.

“Hi, sweet girl,” Vanessa smiled at Lily. “Mason, do you want to say hi to your new friends?”

Mason splashed at the water, shaking his head. No thanks. I’m swimming.

“Swim too?” Lily asked, her eyes enviously watching Mason splash about on the step.

“Yeah, Lily. C’mon let’s get your sunscreen and floatie on so you can swim with Mason,” Y/N said, holding out her arms to take Lily from Calum.

Vanessa watched as Y/N was able to get Lily ready to swim with much less needing to explain every step of getting ready than she had needed to use for Mason. In a matter of moments, Lily was on the step with him. “Hi,” she said in her little voice, offering a toothy grin.

Mason stepped back from her, looking around for help. “Momma?”

“I’m right here, sweet boy,” she answered, sitting back down along the pool’s edge. “This is Lily. She came here to play with you.”

He pointed again at her bumblebee floatie.

“Yeah, I see. Lily, Mason wants to say he likes your floatie. Yellow’s his favorite color.”

“Shh,” she said, pointing back at Mason.

“Yeah, he is quiet. He doesn’t talk like you do,” Luke told her, sitting with his feet resting on the first step. The rest of the adults had also mingled their way back dipping their legs in the cool water, Ashton’s arm wrapped around her shoulder.

Mason pointed excitedly at Luke’s hair, taking notice of the man’s blonde curls. “Momma!”

“Ha! See, I told you, Mike,” Calum gloated.

“What?” Luke laughed.

“Mike thought he was finally a favorite uncle because Mason likes his hair. I said he didn’t stand a chance against your curls.”

Luke laughed again, and shook his hair for Mason’s benefit, who squealed his delight. “Mase, gentle,” Vanessa warned as he reached for Luke’s hair. “Yep, just like that,” she kept talking as Mason softly patted Luke’s head.

“Aw, such a good Lukey,” Ashton, Calum, and Michael teased their youngest band member, making all 7 adults snort with laughter.

“Hello?” Finn’s voice called out loudly from somewhere inside the house.

“Out here, mate,” Ashton called back.

“I tried calling,” Finn explained as he presumably made his way through Calum’s house to the backyard. “Hope it’s okay I let myself in.”

“Daddy!” Mason shrieked, splashing water everywhere, causing Lily to shrink back and cover her ears.

“Shit, sorry. My phone’s in my bag,” Vanessa apologized.

“Nah, no worries. Door was open, thankfully.”

“Guys, this is Finn. Finn, this is everybody,” Vanessa introduced.

“Hey,” Finn flashed a smile while everyone offered up their names to him.

When Ashton didn’t join in the round of introductions, Calum piped up in a teasing tone, “Aw, c’mon, Ash. You’re not gonna introduce Finn you Vanessa, your girlfriend?”

Heat rose in Ashton’s cheeks as he flicked his foot in Calum’s direction, sending water flying all over his friend’s trunks. “Shut up, Cal…”

Vanessa laughed. “Aw, don’t be like that, he’s only teasing.” She leaned into Ashton. “Plus,” she whispered low so only Ashton could hear her, “I really like you introducing me that way.”

“And I like introducing you that way, baby.”

“Well if he won’t do it,” Calum grumbled playfully. “Finn, have you met Nessa by any chance? She’s Ashton’s girlfriend.”

All the adults, with the exception of Ashton, laughed. Ashton kicked his foot with more force, soaking Calum in retaliation.

“Oh, you’re dead, mate.” Calum’s tongue clicked in his cheek as he stood up.

“Let’s see what you got,” Ashton taunted, standing up as well.

Calum gave chase and the two men raced around the pool.

“A fine example you’re setting for the kids!” Y/N scolded as she pushed herself up and away from the pool

“Honestly,” Vanessa agreed, following suit. “One of you is gonna trip and fall…”

“You mean, like this?” Ashton asked, before fake tripping next to Vanessa, wrapping his arms around her, and plunging them both into the pool as she squealed, “Ashton!”

~~~

After a surprisingly easy battle plucking two water happy toddlers from the pool for food, Cory, Finn, and Michael all slowly excused themselves home for the evening.

The remaining five adults lounged about in their respective chairs, chatting quietly while Lily, who had curled up on top of Luke after showing Mason how to play with the dogs, and was on the verge of nodding off.

Mason, still on his towel in the grass, threw the ball one last time for Duke before wandering over to Ashton chair. He tugged at the man’s hand to get his attention. “Yeah, bud?”

Mason pointed at Lily and then at Ashton, before trying to climb up on the chair with him.

Ashton helped Mason lay across his chest, wrapping the boy securely in his arms, the way he had seen Vanessa hold him on the few occasions Mason allowed himself to be held.

Vanessa watched their sweet moment, and when Mason’s eyes started to close, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Ash?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m in love with you.”

Ashton grinned at her. “I’m in love with you too, baby.”

She moved to squeeze his hand in hers, freezing when Mason stirred. “Papa,” the little boy murmured, patting Ashton’s chest.

Ashton and Vanessa’s eyes both went wide as they held in their celebration at Mason’s statement for fear of startling him. “Yes, I love you too, Mase,” Ashton whispered into his hair, before kissing the top of the sleeping toddler’s head.

Tag List

@frontmanash @goeatsomelife @flameraine @creator-appreciator @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @sparkling-calm @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession @gosh-im-short @aquarius-hood1996 @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @philthepegacorn @boomerash @teenwolfss24 @karajaynetoday @myfavfanficsever @stormrider505

#stamp of approval #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #ashton&vanessa #ash&mase #with special guest appearance @talkfastromace4's luke&lily!#galcal irwin

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smuglemon · 4 years

Text

time to vent here because it somehow feels safer then anywhere else 🦎 . it will go into stupid detail cause lol

i just. fucking Hate how. everything has turned out! I hate coming to terms with the fact i have actual trauma . but. it doesnt feel right to say what i went through is trauma even though it was. or maybe it wasnt i dont know but i literally have flashbacks when im feeling weak, i dont KNOW if thats normal. i still just wish things were different i want a different childhood. i know was neglected my whole childhood , i missed months of school my parents fought all the time over drugs i witnessed kittens pass away and i had to deal with that . I know my parents still loved me and tried for me and they are recovered now. but it just hurts so bad still. i coped with everything by having a horrible internet addiction. Which led to me getting insomnia whcih i still suffer from to this day. i wasnt depressed back then but i had horrible anxiety, it wasnt social yet but every time they fought i would break down and i didnt know how to deal with that i still get involuntary shakes whenever i hear yelling from my parents . I wish i could control it but ggahhh fuck. i used escapism to deal with my problems, id just sit and draw and watch my little pony and just look for anything that would be a distraction. I didnt have any friends outside of the internet or school and usualy i wasnt going to school. my parents never wanted to do anything with me and i was always really lonely, id talk to anyone who would talk to me. this led to some good things but a lot of bad things. but all this neglect whether it was trauma inducing or not just led me to not seeing doctors, getting a proper education or learning how to be social . Whcih leads to today!!!!! hahahahahhahahhaha :(

to start I have no friends outside of the internet period anymore. everyone irl left me 2 years ago on a total whim, and i have no reason to believe it was anyone elses but my own fault. I love and appreciate tje friends i still have online, but being suddenly dropped by my old friends left me with really severe abandonment issues with the people im closest with rn :( i need to constantly be with people especially a specific person who my emotions seem to rely on,, i know im the only one who can control how i feel but ggod. it feels like evry emotion they have i have to match it or i will not be good, if im visibly sad when theyre happy i will be left alone agakn and i know that isnt true i know they wouldnt leave me but the fear still exists and i dont know how to get rid of it. i always read too far in nto their tone and worry whether they are mad at me or sad or any other thing, i fear im annoying for constantly asking for reasurance :( and every time they go i fear when they come back they will realise im bad and they will leave me and it feels almost inevitable. i know logically i know i shouldn't but god i have nightmares abt it,, theres so many better people out there. my friends deserve so much better than that.

ive also been diagnosed with ADHD recently ! man as if i didnt have enough problems. its just been really awful to deal with. with a combination of trauma(?) driving me to want to indulge in my childhood fixations and nostalgic things and , like idk if its age regression but just ,, trying to imagine a happier childhood alot. mixed with getting hyperfixated on anything but my school work,, mixed with not having a classroom environment , its lead me to fail 2 semesters of school so far . I feel like I have no future anymore because of that. i feel so lazy and i know im just making excuses for that but despite everything tjat happened i just wanna be a kid again! I want to be raised normally I want to get help for my problems early i wanna not have to worry about anything :( i want to be normal.

#i feel so whiny because so many people have gone through so much worse and they dont victimize themsleves and complain #but im weak and ive come to terms with that. so whatever

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nbapprentice · 4 years

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I was gonna ask about problematic media and hyperfixations, but a recent ask and lezzyharpy reblog seems to have answered it for me. Basically ive seen some fandom drama where some minors are trying to bully the creator with a mix of stuff theyve already apologized for and outright lies/exaggerations. These fans claim theyre still hyperfixated on the media due to their own mental illnesses, and want to get rid of the creator to make it somehow “less problematic”. (1/2)

(2/2) Note that the media in question already has a ton of really questionable themes and characters (the creator themselves claims this stuff was just from them brain venting, trying to project their trauma onto fiction to try and cope with it, etc), so removing the creator doesnt remove the problematic issues at all in this case. So like, i dont think trying to remove the creator in this case, especially with the excuse of “i cant help my hyperfixations!”, does any good in this case. :/

ok like. pardon me for a moment when im like 🤨 cuz “bullying the creator” like 99% of the time is people with legitimate concerns, and why DID you have to specify they were minors?? smells fishy to me. its also weird that we’re agreeing the content is Problematic (content i dont even know) and yet trying to excuse it as Venting or Coping

but. i do agree that, yes, it’s silly to think that removing a Problematic creator from a Problematic piece of media will suddenly fix text that has those themes already in there. people really really REALLY need to learn how to let go.

#asks #mod nba #Anonymous

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bull-shit-suji · 5 years

Text

Why I used to ship seba/ciel (and why I stopped).

I doubt anyone cares what I have to say but I figure I’ll add my own experiences into the mix. (I’m on mobile so I can’t add a read more feature, sorry)

TW; pedophilia, CSA mention, predators, grooming, dumbass twelve year olds

I, like so many other kuro fans, got into the show at a young age. I was 12 to be exact, having watched the it with my girlfriend at the time. And I loved it. Like, watch the whole season in one sitting loved it. I went out and bought as much Hottopic Black Butler merch as I could get my grubby little hands on. I’m sure many others share the sentiment.

My girlfriend was already a die-hard seba/ciel shipper when she introduced me to the show. She talked constantly about the romantic coding and the suggestive scenes (corset, fireworks, seb eats ciel’s soul, the whole package). It wasn’t until a couple months later, when I was at the peak of my hyperfixation for the show, when I really got into seba/ciel.

Mind you, I was still 12. Fresh out of elementary school and way too young to be watching that crap, much less indulging in explicit fanworks for the show. I was the same age as Ciel in the first few chapters/episodes of the anime. And when you’re that age, to be frank, you have a horrible understanding of the world around you and your own maturity. You think you’ve seen it all, lived years past your prepubescent body, when the truth is you just haven’t. This makes it so easy to get into the ship. I projected myself onto Ciel, figuring if I felt mature enough to get all hot and bothered by a poorly animated demon, he could too. I kept telling myself all the same excuses. “But the dynamics are so cool!” “Sebastian’s a demon so it doesn’t count.” “It’s fiction, it doesn’t affect the real world.” But it does.

After riding the seba/ciel high for just over a year, I left the fandom for a while. Focused on school, lost interest in anime, all that stuff. I came back years later upon finding the manga at my local library. It rekindled my love for the series and all of Toboso’s works. It made me really think about the ships and themes I’d once supported.

I’ll try to explain my exact train of thought. “Sebastian’s a demon so it doesn’t count.” I’ve heard it time and time again, even said it to others back in the day. It’s a sidestep. It dances around the issue. Because Sebastian isn’t problem. Make him 500,000 years old, make him 26, hell, make him 14. The fact of the matter is that Sebastian’s age is not and never will be the problem. Rather, it’s the rampent sexualization of Ciel. Ciel, a thirteen year old CSA survivor who has undergone more trauma than most of us care to imagine. If he were 25-27, or even just past 18 (11-17 tend to be extremely formative years so I’ll let it slide), the ship wouldn’t be an issue. Sure, it’d still be heavily problematic, but what do you expect from a show about cults and demons. I applaud authors who age him up to explore their dynamic. But most fans keep him a child for their works. I’ve always tried to stay passive in fandom fights, but this needs to be said.

A child should never be romantically or physically involved with an adult, circumstances or species difference be damned.

But I know I can’t stop everyone. I understand the vast majority of seba/ciel shippers are kids who are in the exact same position I was once in. If that’s you, please be careful. Normalizing and indulging in pedophelic ships can have serious real-life effects. Don’t make yourself vulnerable to grooming and predators, online or otherwise. Understand that there are, unfortunately, dangerous people in this fandom. Think critically.

Some people use the ship as a coping mechanism. I understand that as well. I hope those of you that do find peace in your traumas and can understand that, while it might feel calming, this ship can be harmful.

I have no sympathy, however, for the adults who promote this ship for no other reason besides their disgusting infatuation with it. You are not a child anymore. Take a good look at what it is you’re encouraging others to normalize and enjoy. At what you enjoy about the ship. Think of when you were Ciel’s age. Were you physically and mentally mature enough to be in a sexual/romantic relationship like the one you’re condoning?

Thank you for reading.

#WOAH #kuroshitsuji #black butler #i really snapped huh #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #mine

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starfaring-princelotor · 5 years

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Ranting anon. I have a lot. I’ll try and split this into pieces. I wouldn’t say that Lotor was my absolute favorite character, but he was an enjoyable and interesting one. He was a more refined antagonist (not necessarily a villain) who had every capacity of being a great ally and friend. I won’t lie, I liked the idea of Allura and Lotor together, (1/?)

As a parallel to Zarkon and Honerva by being a Galra/Altean power couple that fought for good instead of evil. Lotor is clever and diplomatic and poised, so I honestly thought that he could help Allura cool down her impulsive nature and rash temper and help her become a good leader through example. (2/?)

But in the end, all we got was Lotor giving her an ego boost that in the end didn’t even matter because she dropped him like a hot potato in what feels like a forced “girl power!!” Moment. And I feel like that’s a big problem with how Allura’s character was handled. (3/?)

She’s meant to be this wise, kind, but fierce leader lady, but unlike say, Zelda (another warrior princess,) she doesn’t display the patience or level-headedness that Zelda does, despite people making numerous comparisons between the two. The argument that she’s inexperienced falls through halfway through the series at the very least. Allura never takes any steps to curb her temper or his pushy nature. (4/?)

And somehow no one calls her out on it! A big red flag for me was her reaction when Keith was revealed to be half galra and she just…turned fucking mean for no reason. And while Keith felt guilty for something he shouldn’t have felt guilty for, everyone else was…taking her side? (6/?)

And basically the matter is resolved by him mostly apologizing and her kind of mumbling a half-assed sorry. She was literally being racist to someone she called a friend right until she found out about his heritage. Despite him having done absolutely nothing to her. And no one called her out on it. That pissed me off. It feels like the paladins personalities suffered in order to make Allura look good. Like their moralities and personalities got tossed out the window to revolve around her. (8/8)

A forewarning to Lotura shippers, I never liked the ship in the first place, so if you are looking for validation about Lotura or even Allura herself, this rant is not for you. Allow me to pitch in my own two cents about myself, Allura, the Paladins, and the comparison referring to Zelda.

Anon, let me just say this first, I adore reading the asks you sent because all of it was basically the biggest problem I had with Allura the second she was revealed in Voltron. And the main reason for that? Was how she introduced herself by being a glaringly-obvious Princess-brat trope that does not think before she decides to speak. This was her first rash and impulsive act as a “royal” Princess.

This is why I have a hard time believing those who say Allura’s racism towards the Galra is valid because, I do not know about you, but being cryogenically frozen during the heat of war then waking up and thinking the main important thing to do is call someone’s ears hideous? What happened to “the war is still fresh in her mind”? And no, suddenly opening up a journal to remember “Oh, yeah, the war! Zarkon evil! I should be angry!” does not fly with me.

I am not saying her trauma is not real, only her reaction to it is slightly misplaced.

In any case, let us move on to the comparison of Allura and I being similar to Honerva and Zarkon. Oddly enough, I did not see this clicking at all in the show. Mostly because, in terms of what happened between them story-wise, Allura and I are more like Alfor and Zarkon. And this is just based off their relationship. Maybe I am a man who strives more for platonic relationships in shows aimed towards children, but I really did not feel the romance at all in Lotura.

Not even with the sickening way she suddenly started pining after me at the realization that I am half-Altean.

And this is the big point in the show. Zarkon and Honerva loved each other not because of their race, but because they just do. Alfor and Zarkon? They both use their power as royals to achieve a greater good. Except, in the case of Allura, she chose to commit unspeakable acts of betrayal based on feelings. Sounds oddly familiar to Alfor, no? Sacrificing all of Altea to ensure she lives? Because he is such a good father, pure of heart who must protect his daughter at the expense of not one, but two entire planets.

He loves her so much, he sacrificed his own people for her. That is why Allura is more like her father in that aspect. Both rulers let their feelings control their actions. Throughout the entire 8 seasons of Voltron, Allura has constantly gone either completely irrational or completely poised for the public, never in between. She does her self-sacrificing bit way too many times and, when she coincidentally lives afterwards, she puts herself on a pedestal as if she was right in her self-indulgent martyr actions.

Which she most certainly is not, because it is common knowledge that if you want to help people, you should be actively staying alive to do so. It is as though once she believed all “her” people died, she has no real purpose to stay around after her grand plan of eradicating all the “evil” Galra from space gets completed. I am sorry to say, or perhaps not, but she really does remind me of a terrible Mary Sue who can do no wrong. Alive or dead.

And this shit? Gets brushed aside or ignored by a majority of the Paladins. I will go ahead and blame it that most of them are all very, very young and lack the experience to speak out against those in charge. In fact, the only two who spoke against her in any sense were Shiro and Keith, even Pidge for family reasons. Shiro when he wanted to support putting myself on the throne and Keith? Well, that is a bit more complicated.

Anyone remember the scene where Keith kept telling Allura that he does not want to hear a lecture from her, and she does it anyways because she is just looking out for Voltron and emotionally guilting him is the best way to go about it? No? Oh, right, maybe it was because she acted like a mother admonishing him for “shirking” his responsibilities. I do not even need to go on about how much I heavily dislike one of the two female members mothering her teammates.

You know what would have been a great development here? If she supported him instead of “disciplining” him as if he stayed out past midnight. Maybe not even support him! Just be like “Okay, I know this is important for you, so tell us what we need to do to help you. We’re a team and as a team we will help you however we can.”

In this sense, Shiro was trusting Keith and doing the right thing by giving him the space he needed to find himself. Allura, on the other hand, was pushy and ultimately did not care at all for him as a person, but him as a useful Paladin tool. If he was so revered as the Black Paladin, then should she not be, I do not know, following his orders by the T? Or is her role as a royal, Altean Princess whose spirit is connected to Voltron more important?

And even before all this, she believes her and Keith are supposedly buddies now since she gave a half-assed apology for being a racist cunt to him. No one, I guarantee you, no one forgets racist comments, regardless of repaired friendships. Especially when her cold-shoulder and outright blatant ignorance is being seen as “Oh, it’s okay for her to feel like this! What do we know, we’re just humans from Earth who have apparently never read a history book.”

Before I get into the nitty-gritty details about why comparing Zelda and Allura are the same people, let me just say this concerning Allura’s hot-headed temper and unchecked racism involving a relationship with myself. That shit does not work and Allura should have taken the time to sort herself out before mixing in a “loving” relationship with an Altean and Galran man. I am all for equal support in a couple, but she did nothing to support myself as a person because she never saw both sides of my heritage.

Allura only saw Altean blood and hyperfixated on that alone. Which, do I even need to spell out how terrible it is to judge someone based on their appearance? Based on their race? Whether in a good or bad light, she once again goes from “I will not have some quiznaking Galra on my ship” to “Your mother was Honerva? You’re Altean!” mode. It is fine to be prideful, but she should have already known the dangers of being too prideful of one’s race.

Considering she is a royal, considering she was raised with political knowledge, considering her father and the Emperor of the Galra Empire worked together, Allura should have been aware of her Achilles Heel and understand her responsibilities.

Okay, now, Allura being like Zelda?

Alright, I only played a handful of LoZ games, but even I know that Allura is absolutely nothing like Zelda, even with both of them having the Princess title.

We already established that Allura is way too rash and irrational when under any duress. Even when shit is not going down, her way of thinking is very straight forward and linear, disregarding the bigger picture as a whole for her own closeted judgements. Allura has even ignored her royal advisor’s advice too many times to count, excusing her reasoning as “It’s the only way, Coran. I must do this.”

Zelda? Zelda does not, at all, follow Allura’s way of thinking. In fact, OoT has a similar plot to Allura and myself. Link skips 7 years of his life, wakes up to Hyrule being controlled by Ganondorf, and the Princess is MIA. Though, if any of you have played the game, then you know that the Princess was actively trying to save the kingdom. Not just Hylians, but Zoras and Gorons as well.

And the way she accomplished this was by disguising herself as Sheik. Not because she was a coward, but because she knew the importance that came with being a Princess, the next heir to rule, and the one who has the Triforce of Wisdom under her control. Key word here: WISDOM. Something Allura did not display at all in the show.

If we are comparing Zelda to any character, she is more like the exiled Prince than Allura herself. Both Zelda and myself have the wisdom and first-hand experience of suffering under active war. Both actively saved, or tried to save, those they came across. And both understood the political discourse that hurt everyone, not just one specific race. Everyone.

But if that is the case, then Link would be similar to Allura in the sense that they both woke up to disaster. The big difference between Link and Allura? Link would not have killed Sheik once he revealed himself to be Zelda. Not even because Sheik was being deceiving. Link would understand why Zelda had to hide for her own safety, because she was vital to the plan to restore balance to Hyrule.

Even if Link was miffed about Zelda not being truthful? He knows that, under no circumstances, can they chance the risk to kill her over his own personal feelings.

“But that doesn’t mean Zelda never curbed her temper!”

In Twilight Princess, when the kingdom was already starting to fall under evil clutches, Zelda teams up with Midna, an exiled Princess of the Twilight world. I can not imagine how helpless Zelda felt in the face of Zant overthrowing the kingdom, but did she go off and leave the citizens to suffer for all of eternity? No. She accepted aid from those who were willing, even the Princess of the other world.

And, on top of that, Zelda understood that Midna’s world and her own were like two sides of a coin. They must coexist with each other to achieve peace. In fact, I vaguely remember Zelda sacrificing herself to help Midna. Imagine that. Using your powers to help the “enemy” for the greater good. Tell me when Allura helped the Galra out of her own free will? Her own understanding that the Galra need her help just like every other race in the universe?

No, the BoM does not count. Not with her attitude shining through after her “Zarkon is in power because you guys are cowards!” spiel. Not when she begrudgingly helped save Warlord Lahn while simultaneously profiling him out of spite with “Did you buy those weapons or steal them?” And no, not when she built Sincline with myself with the intention to harvest unlimited quintessence then immediately turn around and aid in murdering me, the Emperor of the Galra Empire, over a weak accusation.

Overall, Allura really is the type of person to barge into other people’s problems, claim “I am here to help you all!”, then throw a hissy fit when people ask for specific aid rather than follow her “My way or the highway” attitude. Terrible writing or not, she was always like this since the very beginning. It is kind of like…she had many chances to improve, but she just made her own situation worse and refused to stop to reflect upon herself.

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tazrp · 5 years

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who of the gang are affection / touched starved ranked most to least :chinhands:

Okay so I had this almost all typed up last night and my computer shut itself off, as it does, so I had to wait until today but! The list from most to least, then after the cut is some elaboration on some of them:

John

Stern

Argo

Indrid

Duck

Barclay

Brad

Ned

Bud

Kravitz

Barry

Merle

Magnus

Elaboration!

John has mixed feelings about it. On one hand he goes feral trying to avoid being touched because it’s so alien it’s uncomfortable. On the other hand it’s been so, so long and the brain chemicals are so pleasant and the feelings are so warm and please do not stop with the contact!! He gets overwhelmed and is also overwhelming. Tread cautiously or you’ll spook him. Lol

Stern is similar but on a less fantastical scale for obvious story-environment reasons. He doesn’t try to avoid being touched but he’s always hyper aware of when/where people touch him, especially if it’s the first time they’ve ever made contact. (Polite introductory handshakes are an exception and don’t count in his book as Actual Touching.

Argo probably hasn’t noticed he’s missing something. He just doesn’t touch people because what reason does he have to do so? He’ll become aware of it the first time he’s touched and then hyperfixate on it for awhile. Lie awake and yearn for contact.

Indrid avoids touching people because they’re so warm he won’t ever want to let go. He knows he’s clingy and his fingers are bony, cold, and unpleasant. He keeps his hands to himself because it’s safer. But… If he were allowed to touch, he’d constantly be touching someone. Holding hands, sitting closely enough to have their sides pressed together, have his hand on someone’s shoulder, touching their hair. Anything.

Duck is an awkward dude. He can get away with casual stuff like handshakes, high fives, and a pat on the shoulder, etc. But he hasn’t done anything but casual stuff in ages. He always gets in his own head and makes things uncomfortable. Last time he hugged someone he started thinking and hoping it wasn’t weird and that they weren’t uncomfortable and that he wasn’t being awkward, which of course made all of those things happen. He doesn’t fret about it for the most part but there are some times when he gets a little soft and wants some affection.

Barclay only touches people who are his friends. His protection is a bracelet so he doesn’t even really like shaking hands with humans he doesn’t know. He’s comfortable with casual stuff, similar to Duck, but he has more friends in an enclosed space so hugs and sitting squished on a couch and stuff are fairly common. Romantically there hasn’t been anyone since he got to Earth. He insists there are more important things to focus on than kissing and whatnot.

Touching people without their permission is against HR protocol, so Brad doesn’t do it unless he can justify it and has worked through all angles so he knows it’s okay and cannot be interpreted as more than it is. (His time in the Teamwork exercise is an outlier: he was with literal heroes who are all so beautiful. It isn’t an excuse for him to have been overcome, and yet that’s all he can say on the matter!)

Ned touches people casually all the time. It’s the same, he would say if he was asked. It doesn’t make him miss anything. Or anyone. See? He’s touching his friends’ arms and shoulders and could a touch-starved person do that!?

Bud isn’t exactly starved? He isn’t used to a lot of contact because that’s just not how it was done where he comes from, and that’s okay. When people started touching him more at school it was weird but he didn’t really object enough to say anything, but now he really likes it. He likes being able to physically show someone he likes them because it’s easier to put a hand on someone or give them a hug than it is to string words together, especially about something as nebulous as feelings. Also cuddling makes sleeping indoors a little more bearable.

Kravitz was completely starved until Taako, which is definitely Canon. His body temperature literally changed with the power of love and touch.

Barry was miserable during the years in cycle 99 when he was alone. He needs to be around Lup. He sustains himself on her presence like photosynthesis. He can be cuddly with other people he knows and loves, but especially with her.

Merle likes to touch people. It’s usually casual but he’s known for being a big sexy too. Nothing people don’t want but he can be a little much sometimes without meaning to be. He’s not really starved at all but he wouldn’t mind a little more plant action than he usually gets.

Magnus is a cuddly, physical, hands-on guy. He touches his friends all the time– nudging them, high fives, holding hands, hugging, cuddling, etc. Etc. He is down to spoon with any of his friends at any point. It’s just part of his great big personality showing his great big feelings. It’s different with Julia. He can’t get enough of her and he acts like he’s never been touched before every time they come into contact. He always wants to have a point of contact when they’re together, especially after Raven’s Roost was attacked. He wants to have a physical tether to keep himself sure she is real and she’s with him.

I didn’t put Taako on the list because he isn’t am Official Muse according to my list (despite having a thread going as him and not most of the others lmao). But he’d be between Indrid and Duck. He and Lup were pretty physically affectionate both before and during their cycles in space. Especially with their crewmates. The two of them probably cuddled the heck out of everyone else on the ship, together and separately. During his time alone in Faerune he avoided touching people if he could help it. It always felt alien and disorienting to touch people so he stopped. One of the reasons he stuck with Magnus and Merle was because touching them felt familiar, and he got no heebie-jeebies from it. He didn’t know why for a long time.

Mavis isn’t on the list because she is a-okay! She has loving parents and brother so she is well cared for.

Garfield has no need to get physical (unless Magnus is down to clown 👀) and is therefore not craving any kind of affection.

#anon #ask #i had just been thinking about this kind of thing right before i saw i had the ask bless #Anonymous #headcanons

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