#i just love this entry please

[aucoba]

Some of my fav parts cause I listened to re:Dracula while reading in on paper (I bought the book in Romania, it’s cool like that ) and I genuinely teared up

The fact the sister reassured Mina while keeping Jonathan’s intimacy a secret, saying

« it was not about anything he has done wrong himself […]. He has not forgotten you or what he owes to you. His fear was of great and terrible things which no mortal can treat of »

She fully says he is a victim and he kept faithful to his lover and it’s so beautiful I don’t know, the man got hurt and she sees it and communicates about it without adding to his hurt, she’s being part of the solution, not the problem, and there are not enough people who do that in life

How Jonathan stays true to himself and to her pleading

« You know, dear, my ideas of the trust between husband and wife : there should be no secret, no concealment. […] you know I have had a brain fever and that is to be mad. The secret is here, and I do not want to know it […] are you willing, mina, to share my ignorance ? Here is the book, take it and keep it, read it if you will, but never let me know ; unless indeed, some solemn duty should come upon me to go back to the bitter hours […] recorded here »

The man truly goes : I’m traumatised and I’d rather never think about these horrible moments ever again, please don’t make me. And while this is true, I also don’t want to take any choice from you so here it is, here I am, here is my wound. I trust you to not kill me with it

The way mina listens to Johnathan plea and takes it in with grace before marrying him and oh, the echo of both of their voices when they say « I will », and mina going

« I shall never, never forget them, nor the grave and sweet responsibilities I have taken upon me »

´Cause loving someone, anyone, is actually just that, a grave and sweet responsibility, leading her to seal the notebook with a ribbon she wore on her neck (her neck!!!the place Dracula will attack ! The strong and soft place of the body) and her wedding ring, offering the same vulnerability and faith he has showed her

Today's entry of re-dracula was so touching. I love hearing about the gender inequality and all but the way Mina and Johnattan married right after their talk about his journal... This journal is his trauma, all the dark and scary parts of himself, all the hurt and fear that led him to such madness. She is curious about it, she wants to read it, he knows it but can't stand it. And they communicate about it so purely, choosing one another, saying "I trust you and chose to love you with all the hurt I/you carry".

Johnattan told her "I'm truly unwell and I give to you my everything, the most vulnerable part of me in hope you'll treat it with enough kindness and intelligence to take care of the both of us"

And Mina told him "I see your darkness and I understand your needs and I love you, I love you still, I love you in my life and choose to share it with you"

They share so much love I can't

[symbiotic-slime]

it’s so funny going into monsterfucker spaces and seeing people argue about whether Venom is a tame monster crush or not and I think I figured out why ppl argue about it. I think there’s two separate levels to liking Venom and people just don’t specify which one they’re talking about

the first is what most people think of: you want Venom when they’re in a separate host and in their more humanoid form. they look like just a really tall guy, and you’ve got some monster traits involved but not quite as many as level two. this is the tame level.

the second level is when you want to be their host. you’re pulling an eddie brock— you’re fucking the slime that lives inside of you and cannot take on a humanoid form outside of yourself. it’s just a mass of black goop that lives in your organs and speaks to you in your head. this is why some people would consider Venom a more extreme monster crush

[media-illiterate]

FOTV'S PLOT MAKES NO SENSE

So since this is going to have MASSIVE spoilers for the new show, I'll put most of it behind a readmore. But, TL/DR: Destroying Shady Sands would not bring down the NCR, because they have at least seven other major cities that could and would take over!

So, lets start with a map:

This is map (made by me) very roughly represents the NCR as it exist circa 2277. All major settlements are labelled, but do note that there are dozens of minor settlements scattered around the whole of California, and into Oregon, Nevada, and Mexico.

Nuking Shady Sands, even if you used the largest nuclear bomb ever made, (The Tsar bomb: coming in at 100 megatons, it is the upper limit of practicality for a bomb, because any larger and the explosion would've vented into the upper atmosphere and reduced the bomb's effect), it would still only destroy Shady Sands. Maybe vaults 13 and 15, the closest settlements to it (given their nature as vaults, however, I think they'd survive).

Notice all the other settlements? WHERE DID THEY GO, TODD?

Now, exploding Shady Sands would still be really fucking bad for the republic, but I think it would be fully survivable. We don't have hard numbers for the population of the NCR, but in New Vegas it is explicitly in the hundreds of thousands, (and rising). So we can substitute the demographics of, say, Alaska (710,000 people). The largest city in Alaska, Anchorage, has ~290,000 people living in it, as of the 2020 census. That's a large chunk of the state's population, but its not even half.

I think Shady Sands would probably be a lot smaller than the Hub or Boneyard (not to mention San Francisco, Vault City, or New Reno) because it started out as a small farming village when the others were already major settlements. So, at most, nuking Shady Sands would only disrupt the NCR, not kill it. Even if the NCR broke up in the aftermath, Lucy's vault should still be smack in the middle of the Boneyard, probably one of California's largest settlements.

But! That's not all! Not only does this show contradict established canon at every turn, it doesn't even do it well, because there is an argument to be made that a few well placed nukes could bring down the NCR!

And its already part of the damn game:

This handsome, gravelly-voiced genius already mathed out how to, as he calls it, "cut the bear's throat": bomb the NCR's trade routes to the outside world, and watch them wither away on their own. His plan is a thousand times more interesting, and more feasible, than how the show brought down the NCR (blowing up one (1) city and acting like that would destroy an entire nation).

In fact, if they really wanted to get rid of the NCR, they could've easily just made that ending to Lonesome Road canon. But, lets face it, this show cannot be bothered to even look at the games for inspiration.

I like almost nothing I see coming out of the show. Its a thin veneer of fallout painted onto a story that bulldozes the very series it claims to be part of. The zombification of ghouls, the centering of the Brotherhood, the badly written raiders playground of a wasteland: its all of Bethesda's worst writing choices, just transmitted to a new medium.

I hate it here.

[poemistic]

im really sad no one else saw the cult aspects of sh3 more compelling like i did when i first watched a playthrough of it. idk it maybe my religious trauma talking, but the constant talk of bringing salvation and being saved by god steams from the deep primal fear of the world and life and all its sufferings and just the gaping unknown of what comes after death and!!! idk it gripped me personally. along with heather’s struggles with identity, agency, and the constant themes of cycles repeating and rebirth?? 

Saint Alessa Gillespie Mother of God Daughter of God?? am i the only one who thought this went fucking hard as hell?? 

in this part of the game when we see this painting, Heather has been going through a lot of self reflecting, especially during the chapel section. We really get to see Alessa’s life was like when she was carrying God, and it’s during this part I think heather accepts that Alessa is an important part of who she is, even if she’s no longer Alessa anymore. I think she says something along the lines of “I’m not Alessa, but Alessa is still me.” at one point. I can’t help but see it as an allegory for self acceptance, specifically the acceptance of trauma/abuse done unto you. Heather’s denial of being Alessa makes sense during the beginning. She has no memory of being Alessa, and people (Claudia) who clearly want to hurt her keep insisting that she is. 

But the thing is, Claudia sees heather as Alessa: Mother of God... simply a vessel meant to carry their cult’s deity. not the true Alessa Gillespie. So as the game continues with Heather recovering more memories of her past life, along with suffering the same problems as Alessa did 17 years ago, she truly comes to accept that she was Alessa, who fought SO Hard to be and to live as heather!!! Being heather, or Cheryl Mason, was supposed to be Alessa’s hard won happy ending. After literal years of being tortured in a cocoon of pain and misery, Alessa does escape in the end too, through being reborn as heather. How can heather deny that part of herself that used to be Alessa, after all Alessa has done to get her where she is? 

the symbolism of agency and autonomy with the mother of god daughter of god stuff makes me go actually insane. The cult forcing her into motherhood, but Alessa embracing that role to birth a life that She wants to bring into the world? A life that is filled with love and joy (with harry !!! 😭😭😭), her OWN personal paradise??? WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 

[million-golden-drachmas]

𝖯𝖾𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗁𝖾𝗅 𝖡𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗈 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟦 by @percy-and-rachel-events (late entry)🔸 "She looked like a million golden drachmas"

Remember when Percy surprisingly memorized Rachel’s phone number? Let's just say that he was also surprised when he caught himself replaying the view when Rachel looked like a million golden drachmas in his head. 

We arranged a meeting in Times Square. We found Rachel Elizabeth Dare in front of the Marriott Marquis, and she was completely painted gold. I mean, her face, her hair, her clothes—everything. She looked like she’d been touched by King Midas.

- Percy Jackson and The Olympians, The Battle of the Labyrinth

Percy sometimes came to the front of Marriot Marquis to see Rachel, painted gold, standing still like a statue as a form of art, and collecting donations at the same time. He remembered the first time he saw her in such a state, he thought it was weird to see her in gold, she looked like a statue of a famous person or an actress. 

Then in the next summer, Rachel and Percy drove around the stretch of beach on the South Shore. On a such hot August day, Rachel wore a white blouse over her swimsuit and pulled her hair up in a ponytail. Percy had never seen her like that and he just spontaneously thought that she looked like a million golden drachmas…

Maybe he told himself it was weird to see Rachel in gold for the first time, but perhaps unconsciously he was impressed. It must’ve been so remarkable that he instantly thought of her looking like a million golden drachmas when he saw her being pretty.

[shrike-sorokoput]

Introduction post!

Meet Shrike, a new face in the Neath sent here by his master on a mission to kill the Vake for him. Who knows where his story will go?

Facts about Shrike:

he has mysterious memory problems and cannot remember any of his childhood, including his actual name;

despite his gentle appearance, he is quite a fearsome fellow, never stepping back in the face of danger;

his favorite color is green, the same color that the ribbon he ties his hair with is;

he is quite young but even he himself is not sure about his age - somewhere in his twenties;

London is the first experience of being meaningfully away from his master that he remembers;

he will be soon interested in becoming a monster hunter - something he is already quite good at;

down the line, he may encounter a peculiar obssession with wells and the north - you've been warned.

[buckingham-ashtray]

The Invisible Clubber........................ SMILING. CAN'T STOP SMILING. LIFE SO HAPPY. LOVE. LOVE LIFE. BEAT GETTING FASTER. CAN'T STOP SMILING. NOW JUST HARMONY. NO BEAT. MELODY. STOP MOVING. SMILE TO THE SKY. ALL STANDING STILL. BEAUTIFUL. NEVER BEEN SUCH HARMONY IN ALL HISTORY. WANT TO KISS EVERYONE. THEY WANT TO KISS ME. BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.................

Sebastian's Story.......... Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die. I'll find myself drifting off, staring at something, anything and I'll stop blinking. I feel my whole body slowing down... My heartbeat... And I wonder how long it'll be broken

*Sorry that I couldn't find the source where I got this from and have no idea when this was released. If anyone has the link I will be very glad to insert it!

[o-wild-west-wind]

It is the 1 year anniversary of the OFMD finale, and also the 5 year anniversary of my uncle’s death. For no particular reason, I’m feeling compelled to write something about it, so…here goes. This is more for myself than anyone else, but I guess I wanted to put it out there in case it resonates with anyone. I know a lot of us have found healing through this show 💛

When I first found OFMD, I was still in a state of mourning. The loss of my uncle hit me hard; I had been living with him on my breaks during college, and with no kids of his own, I was also his primary caretaker when he was ill. He took me in when my MAGA dad—his brother—couldn’t look at me without starting a fight. In many ways, he was the dad I wished I had.

And then, before he was ready to go, he was gone.

It wasn’t until after I started going through his things that I finally confirmed that he was gay (a copy of an application to be a mentor for the Trevor Project, and a sizable collection of gay erotica LOL). As nice as it felt to know, it also gutted me—because we had both feared backlash from my homophobic dad, neither of us had ever come out to the other. I felt an overwhelming amount of regret for never having talked about it with him, and I especially regretted that he’d lived alone, aside from me. I regretted that I’d never know if he had had the chance at love.

His death snapped something in my brain; I lost my spirituality, became obsessive about death, and was convinced that I was on my deathbed myself. I tried multiple different therapists, but nothing worked. And as years went by, I still felt the fog of grief, depression, and paranoia. The bitterness that my uncle could never be himself to his own family compounded on my bitterness that I had to hide myself in the same way, and I resigned myself to a life I felt almost to be condemned.

When OFMD started, my partner (a longtime Taika Waititi fan) suggested it to me, knowing how much I was looking for a distraction (and a laugh). I’d just been diagnosed with an alphabet soup of neurodivergencies, and told myself to hang onto the world at least until I could get my meds sorted out; but I had months to wait for my appointment, and I needed something, anything, to get me by until then.

So this silly little show came around, and it genuinely felt like the first seedling of spring after a long winter. It was fun, and funny, and just the world I wanted to escape to—but it was also about self-acceptance, love, queer joy, and—in its surprisingly understated way—death. It was a space to explore the themes that had haunted my own life, but in an overwhelmingly uplifting vessel. And it finally hit me that my uncle had never really been alone, like I’d assumed; there was and had always been a whole world of people out there, young and old, like us. We’d carved a space for ourselves, despite. It was the first time I really started feeling that it was okay to just…be.

I got onto an upward trajectory from there—I finally got on meds, came out to my close friends (half of which came out to me in turn lmao), and—thanks to Stede—found the courage to quit the job I hated and go back to grad school. But when S2 dropped, it really felt like the closure I didn’t even realize I needed. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that Ed’s arc basically cured my death anxiety—and the closure of his issues with his own father figures really helped me find a closure with mine.

I guess I say all this as a reflection of what this show gave me, and also in gratitude that a year later, I’m still in awe at the lasting power of its healing medicine. I still have my shit, and I’m working through more loss and grief I experienced during this span of time, but I’m honestly feeling…okay. Like I can breathe again, for once—no longer like I’m just waiting to drown.

I know that this piece of art just managed to be exactly what I needed at exactly the right point in time, but FUCK, am I glad it was. I’m devastated we don’t have more, but I’m so, SO grateful for what we ended up with, because it was exactly what I needed.

And while I wish I could’ve watched it with my uncle—he would’ve loved this show—I’m so grateful that it has turned his memory from something of deep pain to that of humor and joy. Like so many of the characters, he was funny, and brash, and caring beyond belief; he gave me my love of sailing, and taught me to treasure fine things, laugh in the face of hate, and never to give up on what I loved.

So cheers to you, Uncle R. Cheers to the renegades. And cheers to queer joy—because it feels good for the flag that once meant death to me to finally have a new meaning 🏳️‍🌈

[dreadfutures]

just finished, 100%'d everything except the codex (88% final codex) with a platonic inquisitor redeem positive rook + mythal's release.

on a scale from worst game ever to best game ever, definitely best game ever. it is certainly one of the best games to play - it's just really fucking fun. it's smooth. it's delightful and it's deep in a lot of ways. I would recommend it to people! and the team should be really proud.

As a game that's a love letter to Thedas, it really really works for the most part! There is so much fleshed out that we have been wondering about for so long, the characters do feel so alive and lovely. This was the first game where all of the companions were really, really compelling and real feeling. I enjoyed taking all of them out in different combinations and getting to know them and their relationships to the world. I really enjoyed the evolution of combat - I'm sorry, DA has *never* had fun combat, by the standards of its own genres. They have always been great games, but there are better CRPGs, better tactical RPGs, better action games. This one manages to nail that and was a joy to play.

As the conclusion to our worlds, the ones we shaped, it falls flat in a lot of ways - and actively undermines our world states, and the points of the other games, in a lot of ways that just... feel wretchedly unnecessary.

i have a lot of bones to pick with the game (how it handles its class issues, how it doesn't even want to touch the moral complexity that it spent *so long* belaboring in the past 3 games regarding mages and non mages or the dalish and their religion or the racism and prejudice at the heart of many of these flawed societies, how it *definitely was not justified* in leaving so much of your past personalized world state behind and it's insulting to claim so). Other people can write those essays though it's 2am I have spent more than a week, every waking moment, playing the game and i'm tired and delighted and inspired.

[vulcanette]

when I’m listening to any of the sleep token albums I’m like overcome with the feeling of… no, this one. This one. Definitely!!! is my fave. For sure. Like— How??? Could I choose another one?! And then I listen to the next one like. No. This one!!!! This one right here—

[so-called-quail]

Me: Wow, the March 15th entry was amazing. I just wish we got at least one word out of Legolas and Gimli. They’ve been gone for so long! :(

March 16th entry: *LEGOLAS AND GIMLI CRITICIZING MINAS TIRITH THE SECOND THEY WALK IN ON PAGE ONE*

[sysig]

Getting up to trouble is his speciality (Patreon)

[thoughtpeek]

I'VE FINALLY FINISHED BROTHERSHIP IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!

[neosatsuma]

okay am I behind on an update or using alien tech or something or are we all experiencing the same reality: the black "ALT" button completely obscures any content under it, on mobile, for everyone, right??

[hikarry]

Well, nice to see you for the third time in the third different show I've dared watch today, Crowley. I understand I might be slightly obcessed with you, but maybe you should give me some space as well, buddy

[1980ssunflower]

I dont want anyonr to forget tsjt my min & my ryan are my one and onlys