#i just love posh sirius xoxo | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

visd3stele · 3 years ago

Note

Hey love! Hope you're well!

Idk if you take requests but I was wondering if you could do an arranged marriage trope with Sirius Black (non voldy au ofc)

Completely understand if you don't wanna write it, have a great day!

I certainly can and I definitely will, anony

Thank you for requesting and THANK YOU for the kind words. I hope you have the best of times! xoxo

tw: implication of child abuse, past trauma + its triggers discussed briefly, 2 knives and a bleeding cut (ritualic, non violent), non sexual half-nudity(?), alcohol (drinkers are of age), a sexist comment (that is reprimanded quickly by anogher character), one smoking scene, both Sirius and reader are of age to be married, kinda enemies to lovers,

- I really wish you like it <3

~ sorry for the delay and thank you for your patience. I hope I made it worthy of it

I'm nervous because it's pretty unconventional, but here we go:

The Abc of magic folks for marriage

(sorry, couldn't decide which suit screams after Hogwarts, no Azkaban Sirius getting married better. Thoughts?)

masterlist and requests

A/N: a collection of short-ish drabbles about y/n and Sirius' marriage, not in chronological order

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Anouncement

Sirius Orion Black, the most wanted bachelor, you read the title and roll your eyes. "Perfect. Exactly what his ego needs," you say annoyed. "A whole article about himself. And on the first page too! Absolutely horrendous."

Next to you, your good friend since Hogwarts chuckles, erupting in a burst of laughs when you shoot her a glare. "Not funny, y/fr/n," you hissed.

"Oh, come on, y/n. It is a bit funny. You're making a fuss out of petty entertainment." At your lack of reply, she continues. "Besides, you do have to admit he's positively lush." And with that she picks up one of the many papers that have Sirius' face printed on their front pages.

Your friend keeps walking so you throw a Knuts at the man behind the counter and hurry to catch up. "Blimey!" She says so loud she startles you.

"Merlin's sake, y/fr/n, what?"

"Oh, this is gold. This is so gold." She carries on, pointedly ignoring your questioning looks. In between grins and giggles, she breaths out a "no way," every now and then.

"Alright, this is getting too far. What's so good about that stupid article?" You snatch the paper from her, moving your eyes quickly over the columns of letters. The journalist must have been a new one, the pacing is too thrilled, begging for attention. But that's not what made your nosetrils flare, mouth hanging open and muscles flexing and pulsing with disdain. The subject debated on for two bloody pages, was rather the Black family signing a marriage deal with your family was a good call or not. A marriage deal, for you and Sirius Black. A shiver ran through your bones. You knew your parents were in deep talks with the Blacks, but you assumed they'd let you know first. Or at least give you a heads up before making it public.

"Y/n? You good?"

"Yes, of course. Brilliant, even." You snaped, gritting your teeth together.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Somewhere in muggle London, a young man walked aimlessly under the raining sky. His denim jacket soaked, his socks splashing every time he stepped, his hair laying damp on his scalp. But Sirius didn't care. He kept walking, his pace quickening or slowing depending on the tone of his internal debate.

Just that morning Sirius Black found out he is to be a married wizard in less than a month. His to be spouse? No other than y/n y/l/n. The stucked up posh who never missed a chance to get the marauders in troubles over a silly, funny prank. The very one who never fell for his charms when pursuited. And the same person who made a fool out of himself by pretending to date him and then mocking him just to prove a point.

Of course, Sirius was no saint, he could admit it. There are certain things he sees better now, understand how exagerated they were. But accepting his past mistakes does not, under any circumstances mean he'd be happy living with that, that... pillock!

But, of course, his family wouldn't hear of it. The y/l/ns are, after all, powerful, wealthy and influencial people. It'd do good to have them in the mix. And, as the heir of the house, such ordeals were his burden to carry. Whoever invented politics could crisp in hell, Sirius thought, just when one of those muggle weird inventions drove through a muddy pond and splashed him.

"Perfect," Sirius muttered to himself. "Now this day can't get any worse." He stated, trying to clean himself up – not without difficulty as the streets were filled with muggles who couldn't see him wave a wand and dry himself and the long hair kept attacking his blazing silver eyes.

Bachelor

The salon was quiet. Backround music carrying the tune of light chattery and phony laughs. Stuffed with the entirety of the wizarding elite from all over the world parading around the room, flaunting their neat robes and expensive jewels, using the gathering as an opportunity to form new alliances or strengthen the old ones, the large room suddenly became suffocating.

You found your refugee near the closed door leading to the terrace, needing to escape all the congratulations from the elder people and jealous glares from the youths. You were also trying very hard to avoid a certain tall, raven haired, grey eyed wizard. The party was thrown for both of you, to honor your past lives and celebrate the approaching engagement. Tomorrow. If you had to be tied to Sirius Black for the rest of your days, you'd rather have one more evening free of him.

You pondered seeking your friends, but you escapes them minutes ago for a reason. They all seemed so happy for you, enjoying themselves at the party... you didn't want to ruin their time. Besides, you had quite the talk with your parents, reminding you to not act out when so close of success. Of course, you always knew this day would come. As the future of your House it was your job to secure the best alliances by any means available. And marrying the heir of the House of Black was the best move you could play into. Besides, your parents wouldn't just throw you off to a wretched man. They researched Sirius, checked carefully for signs against him. And come out with nothing, the sole problem being his itching presence, pushing all your buttons.

You couldn't stand his voices, especially when denying his upbringing and talking like a commoner. You dreaded when he'd open his mouth only to speak a snarky comment or make a side joke. Because, of course, he can't waste one precious second of his time to be serious. And the sarcastic answers he gave to teachers or people who confronted him on a regular... argh! Even thinking about it heated you up with anger. The sight of him alone could send you on a rampage. With his superior smirk as if he owned the place, the bored eye roll, the casual leaning on his friends or really any people whom he came in contact with. Not to mention how irresponsably Sirius constantly plays with his wand: throwing it upwards, letting it flip in the air and catching it only to start again.

"I need some air," you said to no one in particular, just in case someone would be looking for you. But upon exciting the building and dragging your steps in the garden, you saw no other than Sirius Black, poised still as a statue under a dogwood tree. He wore his leather jacket against the cold, but the sleeves were rolled up 'til under his elbows and you could see the perked skin. Underneath, his elegant robes proudly stood out, ironed to perfection and embroidered with his family's crest, the motto and, of course, the slytherin snake (though someone added a clumsy lion next to it).

Sirius' face never moved from the starry sky. If his abdomen didn't rise and relax periodically to signal his vitality, you'd have assumed him a statue, a new addition to the backyard. "I know I'm irresistable, but are y'goin' to stare all night?"

"Sure. Wouldn't want to miss the exact moment you turn into ice," you bite back.

"Didn't know you cared," Sirius cooed mockingly. "So nice of you, chertè."

"I don't. It'd just be satisfying to watch you freeze."

"Auch," Sirius finally turned to look at you, a hand shooting up to clunch his chest. "You've hurt me, y/n."

"I doubt it. Nothing I say can pass that thick ego of yours."

His eyes dropped to the ground for just one second before turning his gaze back to the night's horizont. Completely ignoring you. Sirius looked deeply in thought and for the first time you furrowed your brows at him in concern, not annoyance. Before you could change your mind, you asked "Why are you here alone? There are dozens of adoring witches and wizards wanting to gawk at you while they still can."

"Thanks, but no. I'm fine'ere, by myself, where I don't have to cater to anyone's expectations." He spitted, enough judgement in his voice to silence even the rustle of leaves for a few seconds.

You took it as a sign to leave him be, but later that night you learned that a group of wild, loud gryffindors disturbed the peaceful streets and Sirius' absence was noticed by one too many guests. It seems the heir of Black had a proper muggle bachelor party.

Cake testing

Normally, a whole day of eating sweets for free would be a dream come true for you. But of course the reality cut the joy off it. You were in your favorite cake shop in Diagon Alley, your mother excitingly pointing assortment after assortment of different colored cakes. Some were glazing pink with strawberry cream, others were dressed in caramel and chocolate. And the baker made sure to you had a taste of each.

Maybe you could have ignored the reason you did all that, if not for Walburga Black's and her son's presence. The older witch kept denying your every choice. The one layered cake was too simple, the cherry filling one was not sweet enough, the three types of chocolate cream was too sweet.

"You are marrying into the wealthiest, purest family in the wizarding world, y/n. It has to show."

"Sirius, dear," y/m/n tries to involve her future son in law in the discussion. He hasn't said a word since you got inside the store, instead prompting off a wall and watching the events unfold in front of him with disdain. "What do you think?"

Not that he could actually have any ideas. He didn't touch the samples, that weirdo. "I think we should be more open," he shrugged. "There's a nice cake shop downtown muggle London. Mrs. Potter used to take me and James there over the breaks."

You snorted. Now, he was just looking for troubles. Arsehole.

His mother inhaled deeply, flexing her fingers around her wand. And you notice Sirius tensing, straightening up away from the casual comfort of the wall. "Sirius Orion Black, do not speak such nonsense!"

Now the store owner and the other customers stared at the four of you. "Walburga, do you care for a walk?" Your mother soothed the situation before it escalated into something harder to repair. "Let the kids have some time to choose together the cake for their own wedding."

As soon as the women walked out, you sat up and went to Sirius. Crossing your arms in front of you, you ranted "What was that all about? Pissing off everyone around you about this wedding won't make it go away, you know? It'll still happen, rather we like it or not, so don't make it worse than it has to be."

Sirius rolled his eyes and passed by you, taking the table seat you left. "But why should I make it easier? Besides," he quickly add before you could answer, "your mom asked for my opinion and I delivered. I really do like muggle cakes."

"Aren't they the same? What's so special?"

Your future husband picked up a fork and plunged it into a slice of cake: a three layered with too much rom syrup. He made a show out of twirling the bite before grazing his teeth over it, swallowed and dropped the fork back on the platter. "They don't use magic to bake. Everything is more... authentic. It makes it better."

"Come on, you only had a taste of the worst cake so far. Try another. Here, this one's better." You brought a piece of bitter chocolate and berries creamed in front of him.

"Will you try a muggle one too?" He eyed the cake bite skeptically, a brow rose in challenge.

A scoff begin to climb its way on your face, but a stray thought made it stop. It may have been curiosity, or the realization that Sirius wasn't in the wrong to ask you this. Or maybe the fact that you spent five minutes with Sirius without being at each other's throats that pushed you to agree.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

You couldn't believe you snuck out with Sirius Black. To go to a muggle store, out of all places. But you secretly enjoyed it more than you should have. The thrill of running away, looking over your shoulder to see if your mother is paying attention or not. The giddiness of taking turn after turn through narrow streets, like playing in a labyrinth.

"You've done this before, haven't you?" You asked the man with a wide, free, joyous grin plastered on his face. With sparkling eyes speaking of defiance and wild hair breaking its tie and flowing behind him. Sirius looked at ease, natural and genuine and you felt like you've just seen the wizard for the first time.

"As many times I could." He briefly wiped his head backwards to look at you. You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. You should have expected it. "We're here," he declares and opens a door with large gestures. Right before you could fully step in, Sirius makes way and bows to his waist. "Welcome to my humble sweet shop, your grace."

You roll your eyes and playfully push him. He pays for both, since you don't have any muggle money and your family name and the fact that you're getting married means nothing to the owner. "I'll pay you back, Black."

"No need. Just, take m'side on this and we're good." Sirius offers, reaching for one of the cakes he bought. He pushes one your way as well, but he doesn't eat his slice. He stares expectantly at you.

"You won't drop the idea, right?" You sigh. Sirius raises an eyebrow implicitly. "Fine," you relent, "if it's any good, then I'll speak to mother about it. Though I doubt it'll happen."

Your eyes open wide and a moan breaks through closed lips before you could stop it. You feel your cheeks heating in embarrassment, but Sirius doesn't reprimand you. He simply let his head fall back and laughs wholeheartedly. His nose scrunches up in delight and his eyes became alive as the sound carries on. You couldn't help but notice how cute he looks like, or compare the laugh to an harmony of bells and flutes.

"I'll take that as a yes for muggle cake. I won."

Decorations

"Not green!" Sirius groaned as you picked up a fluffy garland, fitting for both indoors and outdoors events.

"Stop being such a child, Sirius. It's just a color and the garland is sublime." You don't even look at him when you speak, too focused on the beautiful thread in your hands. You knew Sirius disliked the color green, due to his family's disposition towards it. How it's exposed everywhere in their house, a proud lineage of predominant slytherins. But you didn't expect it to run so deep that he'd object to a simple decoration.

"It's just like any other, y/n," he retorts. So fast you barely had time to notice, Sirius snatches another thread from the pile on display and holds it out for you to see. You fold the green one and roll it around your arm before resting your hands at the back of your hips. "That," you say, making a face at him, "is disgusting."

Sirius is ready to snap something back when he takes a double look at the bright yellow and pink garland he picked. He scowls and throws it back as quick as possible, then points a finger at you. "Do not say anything."

"Wasn't going to," you shrug and try to move forward. Your parents were checking out some places, which means you and Sirius had to choose the decorations by nightfall. And you just begun. It turned out it wouldn't be an easy job, with how opinionate Sirius was. You had to beg him to accept the beige table sheets and argued upon floral arrangements (he wanted lilies of different sizes and colors, while you wanted roses. Eventually, you both settled for a combination of flowers that included lilies, roses and some more to compliment the two mentioned before).

"I didn't say we're taking that one either," he fishes the thread from your grip and carelessly throws it back.

"Sirius!" You whine exasperated. "We don't have all day; there's a lot of stuff on our list, mostly from your mother, just so you know."

"Ok, fine, pick another one and that's it. Just not green. Please," he adds before you could interject. And his voice is broken and weak when he says it, a glossy look freezing the silver of his eyes.

You purse your lips together, beating down the curiosity that rises within your stomach. Nodding, you hook a white and black thread and start walking. You suddenly feel a weight on your shoulder and realize with a start it's Sirius' hand. "Thank you."

You brush it off. "It's better this way, actually. Can't go wrong with something as conventionaly elegant as black and white."

He hums and retreats his hand as if your shoulder burned him. The rest of your shopping was quite a quiet experience.

Engagement

You loosened the buttons of your ceremony robes when your parents weren't looking. Oxygen seemed to never be enough for your hungry lungs, restrained under tight layers of expansive material that itched your skin and strangled your throat. At least Sirius didn't look any better. His blood traitors, half bloods and muggle borns friends were forbiden to participate and his own clothes seemed to pain him as much as yours did you.

Wizarding folks watched from afar as you and Sirius' families draw a circle on the ground. They muttered blessings as they draw a circle of tamed flames around you and the Black heir. You knew the words by heart. The magic engagement meant bonding your souls together, your magic; the very essence of your beings becoming one. You were, however worried. Not just because you couldn't predict what Sirius might do, but also because the idea of being tied to him stressed the living breath out of you.

"Do you have it?" You ask, voice sharper than intended. Sirius hums an affirmative answer, but doesn't speak. His fingers are curled around each other, nails scratching lightly along the bony, long piano-build structures. His neck is flexing with each gulp. The grey of his eyes reflects the fire around yourselves. Both in ferocity and obedience.

You nod tightly. "Don't do something stupid, Black."

Sirius fixes you with a strange look. As if it pained him to see you. Or to be there, in the magic circle. Bonding himself to a person he didn't particulary care for. He looked like he could fell any second, the currently draw back shoulders slumping forward in defeat. The rebel inside, who defied family and rules for all his life, couldn't find a way out of this one.

He unsheets a pointy, small dagger. Could have been a needle to a tired eye. You do the same with a square blade the size of a kid toy. You grip each other hands, fingers entwined, as the free ones lay palm open, bare for the knives. Together, you gently cut through each. The leaking blood stops quickly and behind it a strident scar is left. Then you feel it. His magic battling against its container, anger raging, panic settling, dread floating and a powerful hint of fear. Though it doesn't linger, it doesn't go away either. It's a constant presence.

Sirius is paler than usual. You don't know if he acknowledges your range of emotions yet, or if he noticed the pull of your magic. You weren't going to ask, either. All you wanted to do was go home and think of this day no more.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

The feeling of peace tasted weird. It didn't belong to him, Sirius knew. But he felt it just as strong. He envied you for it, for feeling safe and secure, content and happy on a dayly basis. Even if something happened and you surrendered to heartache and despair, you could always return to that deposit of serenity and tranquility when all was done.

He also felt your distaste for the upcoming marriage, which, after the bonding ceremony, was more a social obligation. A reason to show off to other pure bloods. Sirius tried to escape, run off to Potter, keep a low profile and wait until they found something else to focus on. But his parents caught him. And threatened to divulge Lupin as a werewolf to the Ministry. So he had to play by their rules this time, the one time that truly affected his life.

First date

In the days between your engagement and wedding day, yours and Sirius' family insisted upon getting to know each other better. They even set you up in a nice, new place, a romantic gem hidden in wizarding London.

The quiet at your table was heavy. You sipped from your third drink, needing to do something else except for siting awkwardly and counting the minutes until it's acceptable for you to go.

"This is stupid," Sirius mumbled, getting on his feet so suddenly you jumped in your seat.

"What are you doing? Where are you going? Sirius!" If your families found out you went your separate ways, chaos would issue. "Get back here this instant."

"I'm not a married man yet, y/n. Can do what I want." And with that he was out the door.

"Oh, sticks and brooms!" You grunt annoyed and followed him. To your shock and horror, there was no trace of him on the pathway. Only a never ending stream of people, going up and down the street. And a huge black dog disturbing them. You narrow your eyes and furrow your brows. Odd, you thought as you followed him. You didn't understand why, but a clear pull called you to the quadruped. Similiar to the... no! It can't be, can it?

"Sirius?" You felt stupid for a brief second until the dog actually stopped. He turned around in the empty dead end street he lead you to and you could swear his eyes widened and his bot moved like a human mouth trying to process information. "Merlin's beard, you really are Sirius! But how? Why? What's going on?"

In an instant, the dog turned to his human form, Sirius Black rushing towards you. A hand over your mouth to keep you silence and the other arm around your neck to guide you further more down the street, Sirius shushed you. "Can you be any louder, y/n?"

"Yes if I don't get an explanation."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "Fine," he sighed. "But not here."

Half an hour later you found yourself in a muggle restaurant, wolfing down something you weren't sure what it was, but tasted delicious. You listened to Sirius' story and couldn't stop a pang of admiration from settling inside your heart. Maybe he and his friends weren't that bad, after all. "Impressive, Black. Very noble of you all."

Sirius froze with his glass at his lips. "Was that a compliment, y/l/n?" He feigned surprise, exagerating it so much it made you laugh.

"Quit it! It's not that weird."

"I beg to differ. You were always stepping on our toes like the stuck up perfect little pureblood."

"I was a prefect," you roll your eyes. "And you boys were thinking only about pranks."

"Better make people laugh than scorn." He argued.

You took a sip. "Perhaps," you gave in. You were actually enjoying the night so far and you started to see a side of Sirius you didn't know existed. Not the rebel, not the egocentric marauder and not the shame on his family's name. But the loyal, the easygoing, the selfless.

"Chertè! If you agree with me one more time I might have a heart attack."

"Tempting."

"Very funny," he deadpanned.

"Relax. I wouldn't let you die on me... At least not until we're married and I have your money."

"Y/n," Sirius choke on his food. And then barked out a very inproper laugh. Strangely enough, you didn't mind. You liked the care free sound of it and the shamelessly cute nose wrinkle that came with it. Unlike the manner book taught you and the other pureblood kids, the Black heir wear his heart on his sleeves, showing with every inch of his body how he was feeling. "For what in Merlin's name would you need my money. You're stinky rich yourself."

"Only if I marry right," you shrugged, hoping to not show how much it bothered you. Sirius' face morphed in confusion. So sudden it took you by surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, the rules." At his even deeper confusion, you continued astonished. "We only inherit our fortunes if we make sure to be worthy of it. Marry the right person, support the right party, behave the right way. I scored two out of three already. Guess that's why they're so prone on you marrying me out of all people. And as soon as possible." You tried to keep the resent away, but failed miserably if his fallen face was any hint of that. You could have been visiting the world as you always wanted if Walburga and Orion Black didn't need a perfect match for their stray son.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, though he himself wasn't sure what for. It just felt like he hurt you somehow, even by mistake. Then a thought crossed his mind and he asked. "You don't want this either, do you?"

"I was planning to go on as many trips and hikes all over the world with my friends. So draw your own conclusions."

"I wanted to become an Auror and help people." But with the title he'd bestow once a married wizard of his ancestry, he'd be clenched in the foul grip of politics, you both knew that.

"I didn't know," your tone was apologetical. In the silence that followed, you and Sirius pondered over your brief, revealing conversation, the will to eat the rest of your food now gone.

"Think we should get outta here?"

You eyed him weirdly. "What for? Where? –" you added once you thought better about it.

"No fun in tellin'. Are y'coming?"

Curiosity won your inner battle and you followed Sirius Black out into the night. He showed you the beauty of muggle London through parks filled with kids playing a strange game with a ball ‐ pretty much like Quidditch on the ground; he took you to see street lamps lit up one by one without magic, their light shining in the rain water retained on the cobble street. "Beautiful," you whisper without meaning to say it out loud once your long walk came to an end in front of your house.

Sirius pretend he didn't hear you. He unlocked his arm from yours and bid you goodbye. He would walk all the way home instead of using your floo, he needed it to sort through his head. Because he started thinking there's more to you than an entitled brat and he couldn't make sense of it.

Gifts

"It's not going to splash me with some sort of weird spell, right?" You ask, eyeing the box Sirius is handing you suspiciously.

"I already swore it won't. Open it already, chertè." Sirius urges you again, this time pushing the box into your open palms. In Hogwarts, he and his friends used to put small gifts on people's chairs in class before spring break. It always looked like a departing gift, or Easter presents – for those celebrating – a nice, thoughtful gesture. And it always proved to be a mass prank. One year they were ribbons of colors attaching to the opener's face. Students had to go home painted in blue or red, yellow or green, purple, pink and even weird combinations.

Another time, the marauders managed to hex the box to spill the opener's latest lies. And there, of course, was the notorious year when the boys filled the boxes with neverending goo that spurred out and stuck to wizards and witches hair and robes. It took months to be fully clean of it. You earned the right to not trust a pretty wrapped gift coming from Sirius Black. Especially since you failed to see a reason for receiving it in the first place.

"Fine, fine. Merlin! You're so insistent." You breath deeply once, exhale slowly and open the box. You narrow your brows in confusion, reaching for the object inside. Then, as soon as your fingers touch it and you can make sense of reality, your eyes widen, tears gather under your lids and your mouth hangs open.

"Sirius," you whisper. "This is..." but you can't find your words. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess?" He offers, though you can tell it's more to it than that. So you fix your e/c eyes on him, coercing him to speak. It's the second best thing you can do: keeping yourself distracted to not cry happy tears as if you two were a pair hopelessly in love and not a political stunt.

"Remember in fifth year," Sirius gave in, "when you got in that debate with Binns?" You nod, surprised he recalled it. History of Magic was the most hated subject, simply because of how hard it was to stay awake during the lecture and then realizing studying had to be done with own forces, rather than a lot of help from the teacher. But you liked it. You always thought that if witches and wizards would just give it a chance and show some interest, they'd share your opinion.

You didn't complain, though. Since it gave you a free pass to talk to Binns about anything regarding the subject. Most days, the class unfolded as a dialogue between you and the teacher. Which had been the case in the last weeks of the fifth year when you became invested in legends and preserved artifacts from the past.

"Of course. I'm surprised you do."

"Yeah, well, your little chats with Binns were the only interesting things that ever happened in that class. This one in particular, since it lasted the most and neither of you seemed to accept the other's ideas too soon," Sirius explained. "So I did some digging and found this. Thought you'd like it."

You did. The old, dusty piece inside the box had to be the most thoughtful, beautiful gift someone ever gave you. And to think it came from Sirius Black, no less. It astonished you.

"Yes, thank you! But why?"

"No reason," Sirius dismissed your question with a wave of his hand. "You've not been completely insufferable, so..."

You huff and smack his arm lightly. "I have nothing for you, though."

"That's not true. You already gave me the only gift I wanted." He didn't say what that was. You didn't ask.

Honey moon

You kiss Sirius' shoulder as his muscles flex with the weight of your suitcases. You waited in line at the airport, ready to fly over the sea the muggle way. Sirius turned his head to smile at you, a warm, happy stretch of lips so wide you feared it might break his cheekbones. The two of you were about to embark on a trip around the world, courtesy of all your friends' wedding gifts covering up the costs you couldn't present to your parents. Visiting both wizarding and muggle places, enjoying together of their beauty. Or adventure, as you were sure Sirius would find one.

As you waited for your line to advance, you thought back on the rocky beginning of you and your husband relationship. Now, you shook your head in fond embarrassment remembering how you viewed him. And how he viewed you. The way your brain would fight the impulses to smile and laugh, to relax and talk to him about your pain and share your joy; to comfort him and hear his opinions, to cling to him in strong hugs and thread your fingers through his fluffy hair. You promptly ignore your heartbeats speeding whenever your eyes landed on him. The feeling only deepened, but now you knew he felt the same. And you could lean in and kiss those soft lips whenever you wanted.

Sirius' mind wondered in similar places. He decided to not indulge the anger boiling beneath him. His parents wanted to control every aspect of his life, including the honey moon. Reason for what the two of you left for it three months later. After Sirius' refusal to participate in his required activities in the Ministry proved fruitful and you were allowed to do as you pleased. Instead, he forced his brain towards more happy memories. How your disdain in your eyes slowly turned into love. How the curl of your lips became sincere. How your voice gained power and confidence, entrusting him to listen. The way he felt a literal chain unlocking from around his spirit with each light tease, each story shared. And to think he is going to have you all for himself for a whole month, living a combination of both of your most burning dreams.

The honeymoon went better than either of you could have dreamed of. Lazy mornings filled with cuddles and kisses. Late nights slow dancing under the stars or blasting Sirius' favorite rock songs. Visiting places you've longed to see and making it all better by having your husband at your side. Annoying him talking over the guide to provide more details, but he secretly adored it. You pretending to be mad when he'd turn into Padfoot and run wild and free in parks. You relaxed into each other, gave all of yourselves in that unexpected love that blossomed when you thought it impossible.

Intimacy

Your hand flew to Sirius' head resting in your lap. Your fingers brushed his forehead, threading through his hair before returning to massage the tensed muscles on his face. He sighed. Content, happy, at peace as never before. He caught your hand gently by the wrist and brought it to his lips. "I love you," his warm breath tingled your skin before the sensation disappeared to make way for the one of his soft mouth pressing onto it.

"And I, you," you whispered fiercely, touching your foreheads together. In a quick, swift movement, the wizard stole you a kiss on the lips. Your head tilted backwards, joyous laughs bursting out of your chest. "You, devilish trickster!" You teased.

And Sirius smirked. He burried his face in your thigh, nuzzling his nose into it and letting his body loose with laughter. "You knew it when you married me, chertè."

"Well," you begin, running your fingers over his spine, ending with grasping his shoulder and applying needed pressure. "I didn't have much of a choice back then."

"Ouch," the man protested when you hit a sensitive spot a bit too harsh (on purpose or not, he'll never know). "Neither did I, y/n." He turned his head to look up at you. "But I wouldn't change a thing if I could."

"I know." You mused and allowed your body to shift until you laid on the couch next to him. Hiding your head in the crook of his neck, you mumbled, "I wouldn't either, my loveliest."

Jerk

For you and Sirius both, summer meant exquisite parlor parties, select picnics at the countryside and aching, meaningless small talk. You always tried to find reasons to enjoy it and so, make it past it. But Sirius wouldn't smile at one of these events if his life depended on it. Once, while still in school, he even smuggled his friend, Potter, in and made food fly and drinks splash when picked up.

Now, as your name was tied by him due to your engagement, you couldn't help but be nervous for the first time in a long, long while. The entirety of pureblood community in England knew Sirius is to be your husband. Thus only meaning his behavior would shine bad on you too from now on. You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. Really, what were your parents thinking?

"Ready, y/n, dearest?" Your mother asked. You adjusted your robe in the mirror and hurried down the stairs.

"Ready, mother."

"You seem distrust. Did something happened?" You father said concerned.

"No. No. All is good." Or at least, you'll make sure it'll be.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Your family arrived due expected time. The Blacks were already there: Walburga, back straight and livid as always, plucking her lips in disgust at everyone she deemed unimportant; Orion, as dazed as normally, deeply thinkering over one of his thesis; Regulus, proud and stoic, observing from afar his surroundings and the people navigating through. And lastly, Sirius, looking pained to breath the same air with the pearl of wizarding society. Although he wore the robes with elegancy and could be a gentleman if he wanted to – always peppered with sarcasm, but not always ingenuine – it was clear as daylight he wanted nothing more but to slump his shoulder, grab his leather jacket and fly on his engine through muggle streets.

"Y/n, hello!" Regulus greeted when you and your parents worked your way to reach them.

"Hello, Regulus. Walburga –" a nod of your head in the witch's dirrection, "Orion –" another nod. "Sirius," you said at last.

For a few seconds, he did nothing. Then, he smirked and, with a theatrical bow and exaggerated fluid movements, Sirius Black grabbed your hand delicately and softly touched his lips to it. "Always a pleasure to see you, chèrte."

And even knowing it was but a spectacle, that he must put a show to feel good in his shoes, your heart fluttered at the pet name. It meant nothing and you knew it and still... the way he spoke, his voice rasping over the skin of your hand, the little smile playing on his lips while his eyes locked with yours made it impossible to keep your cool.

"Maybe we should leave them alone, no?" Your mother winked at you and, without waiting for an answer, moved the two families towards a small crowd by the river's banks.

You let out an audible groan. Sirius kept his cool. He was leaning on the table behind him casually, a small white roll in between his fingers. "Want some?" He asked in a bored tone. You shot him a confused look. "It's a cigarette," he sighed, "muggle."

"Oh," was all you said, prompting him to huff in annoyance. He brought the thing to his lips and sucked in on it, blowing off a mouthful of smoke. You scrunched up your nose, closing your eyes at the burning, unpleasant smell.

"Sirius!" You hissed. But he pressed his fingers to your lips, careful not to touch you with the burning object. "T, t, t, none of that now. You don't want either of our parents find our cigarette, do you?"

"Ours? Please," you rolled your eyes, snapping his hand away. "You're the only one idiotic enough to try muggle shit."

A smirk crept unto his face. He mouthed a small spell under his breath as he puffed another blow of smoke your way. "Maybe, but it's hard to tell your innocence when you smell like me." And with that, he stomped the fire and placed the cigarette under his ear, walking away from your too stunned to speak form with a wink.

Kids

"I'm not sure how I feel about kids." You blew up one day. You knew it was expected of both you and Sirius, by both your families, to carry on the y/l/n bloodline and the Black name. But it was all moving too fast!

"Oh, Merlin!" Sirius breathed out. "I can't picture myself taking care of a kid anytime soon."

"Yeah, or ever... maybe. I don't know."

Sirius shrugged. "Don't worry 'bout it. Beisdes, if we change our minds and it's too late, we can adopt."

"Our parents would most likely disown us for this conversation alone."

He only lifted a shoulder and tilted his head. You suspected that being an animagus, Padfoot was rubbing off on him. And viceversa. "I couldn't care less and you know it."

Love

You felt like waking up from a dream. One so real you questioned its veracity. Your brain, a pile of smudged thoughts crushing one into the other, unable to form anything coherent. Just the tingling feeling on your lips. The image of his soft face so close to yours. His mouth lightly parted, containing a crumb of surprise. His long, black locks framing your face as his eyes bore into yours.

Heart fluttering. Hands clutching the blanket over your head in tight fists. After your wedding, Sirius went off with his friends, leaving you to return to your own house. Which you didn't mind, at least at first. But as sleep drowned your mind and senses felt numb and airy, your thoughts drifted to him. The meaningless kiss at the end...

Sirius. Sirius. Sirius. The tall young man with sad silver eyes. Pain dressed as humor, hurting becoming sarcasm, frustration irony. Jokes over jokes never truly lit his eyes up with living and joy. Then, the wizard would glance at his friends kissing, his other friends loving themselves in their bodies; he'd see a proud Gryffindor kid in the first year proclaiming to find the notorious marauders map; get lost in a song, memories playing clearly in his moving eyes under closed lids; Sirius would catch a glimpse of happiness in other people's lives and his mouth would twist on its own in a gentle, genuine smile. The lead of his pupils would soften in a black-and-white picture (of a snowy landscape, with a solitary tree hovering over birds with broken wings).

Sirius Black. Talking just to hear himself talk. Turning into an Animagus for his friend, diverting his parents' wrath from his brother with his own body, remembering your history debates from years ago, loyal. Not once did he see another while engaged to you and you were sure he'll stay just as loyal within wedlock despite it being a union of convinience.

Sirius Orion Black: thinking for himself. Daring to ask, search, be curios and venture into the unknown. Heart on his sleeves, mind open wide, but not naive. Helping others for the sake of it – spiting his family, a welcomed bonus. Needing to prove himself in the most unseen, crazy ways.

Why did you knew so much about him? Why would you find yourself crying in your pillow, fondly smiling at the same time?

Where was he, anyway? Was he alright? Safe? Why did you care so much? Too much, not a normal way you'd be concerned about someone you know, someone that become some type of friend to you. No. It was a rising panic, a muffled cry blowing your ribcage. Your husband was surrounded by friends, all powerful witches and wizards, yet you couldn't stop the worry. The need to see him. Hug him. Burry your nose in the crock of his neck and...

A meaningful kiss.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Sirius gulped down the fifth shot at the muggle pub.

"Wow, Padfoot," Peter snickered. "Not even married for a day and already drinking to forget about it."

"Peter!" Lily admonished. "That is such a terrible thing to say. Stop laughing, James or I might give this back," the redhead stated without even blinking in her husband's direction. The bespectacled man straighten up and pushed the glass offered by Sirius away.

"You should stop, though, Pads. Firewhisky and muggle drinks won't mix well, mate."

Sirius rolled his eyes and called for another beer. He couldn't be sober. It mean he'd have to think. Look his heart in the eye and dare to roam through it.

Your passion to speak about a subject no one cares for, except for you. Your refrained giggles, so prone on following the etiquette. The loud, startling, noisy laugh when he tickled you with a feather a duck left behind on a park's pathway. How your body curled and moved chaotically, freely.

Your e/c glimmer when seeing a beautiful piece of art, an interesting sport downtown; when learning how to do something new like cooking or a hard crafted spell. The way raindrops catch in your hair and glint h/c in the light. The way your expression, so blank usually, swifts to raw emotion around those you feel good around; the maddening excitement when Sirius found out he is part of them.

"What's the problem, ey, Sirius?" Remus patted him on the back before snatching away the bevarage in front of him and helping himself.

The newly wed wizard made a sound of protest, but there was no way his friend would indulge him. "You know what, Remus," he seethed. "They finally did it. They turned me into their puppet! Ans the worst part yet? I'm not hating it as much as I should." Sirius' eyes widened and he brought his hands to his mouth, biting his fingers for spilling the beans on himself like that. An astonished silence passed around the table. But before anyone could say anything, the heir of the House of Black took off, slipping into Padfoot and exhausting himself with a long night run.

Melancholy

The sound of the tower's bells echoed in the night. Loud and agonizing, drumming on the walls of your dark room. And still, your heart felt heavier than the noise of London. Another hour has passed, another lost. Bringing you closer and closer to the dreadful morn'.

From your seat in front of the mirror, you looked closely at your face. You studied every muscle twitching with uneasiness, every curve of your bones and the softness of your chin, as your features were yet to sharpen in the likes of adulthood. You pressed your fingers to your tear glands, trying to push back the itching tears.

You didn't want to marry! You didn't want to start that stage of your life just yet. Knowing it'll happen one day since early childhood, you still wanted some time to live. Discover yourself, travel, be free of any responsability. But responsabilities were a part of your very being since the day you were born a pure blood baby in a noble family.

A heart wrecking scream fought to the surface, but years of proper manner practice forced it out as a whimper. You bowled your fists on the table, took a deep breath and resume your speech to your reflection. "You can do this, y/n. You have to. You will!"

Another ring of the huge clock in the city. Another hour passed. Bringing you closer your wedding.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Sirius paced around his bedroom, making sure to stomp his feet on the wooden floor as loud as possible. It was the only way he could show his deflection. His lips were subjected to torture from his teeth, as dozens of injuries flood his mind.

The wizard tapped his thighs with his long fingers, debating running away to the Potters. But he knew it'd only delay the inevitable. He would be married by the end of tomorrow. Well, today, actually, as a spiteful bang from afar was kind enough to remind him.

To no end would Sirius be fuming alone, raging at the unfairness of it all. At least his parents allowed James to come as his best man. Only James, the only pure blood he managed to befriend as the disappointment he was.

Gritting his teeth, Sirius sat on the edge of his bed. The mattress whined under the sudden, not so gentle, weight. Pulling and pushing with his fingers at his lips, he considered disappearing. Maybe somewhere in France, to their relatives there. Convince them to help him somehow. If he was to escape a Black arranged wedding, he needed the help of another Black.

That bang again! Raising the sun from its slumber. Too late now, he realized. He'd be a married man in no time.

New home

Sirius didn't even get down from his engine, playing with the unlit cigarette between his lips. It was the seventh house you were seeing today, since you decided to get a place for just the two of you a month earlier. And none so far was of your liking.

"You should come see it too," you said stepping down from the porch, the seller on your heels. But Sirius could already tell by the pout you tried to hide that the house wasn't it.

"Nah, chertè, I'm good. Hop up, let's go." He smiled to himself, spitting the cigar and turning on the engine.

"We still have some very good place you might like to see."

"I'm sure you do, but..." and with one last glance at you to confirm you weren't interested, Sirius sped up the road. After a while, when no one could see, the motorbike leapt from the ground and roamed the heights of London.

With Sirius' letter jacket wrapped around your shoulder and the sight of the town small under your feet, you laid your head on his back and fell asleep. The sound of whisper chattering woke you up, though, in the depth of night.

"You sure you want to wait?"

"Yeah, y/n has to see it, make sure it's good enough."

You peaked through your lashes at the apartment building Sirius was in front of. You couldn't see much: a dim lit hallway, a post box, a boring color and balconies all the way up. But something caught your eyes. The name Potter scribbled onto the list at the door. Of course Sirius would want to move in next to his best friend!

"Darling," you whispered softly. "You can buy it."

Ob(livious)vious

"Go, James!" Sirius' voice boomed next to you. On both your families' insistence you accompanied your husband at the Quiditch game. His best friend's team was playing. But you couldn't get into the spirit.

Sirius has been avoiding you like the plague. Not a single glance your way, not a single word spoken to you. As if all of a sudden you ceased to exist. He walked either fast in front of you, either slow behind and refused to acknowledge your presence. Not even to roll his eyes or make one of his snarky remarks. And as soon as you took your seats, Sirius switched places with Peter, after both Remus and Lily refused to.

It pained you. And you hated it. But there was no fighting the throttling clenching around your heart every time he ignored you. You should have been grateful, you would have been if you still hated him. But things changed and now you ached for his voice, his laugh, his unfiltered thoughts. Your head was spinning, nausea settling in from nights without sleep and days with no rest. It made you sick, the intensity of it all: confusion, love, crushed hope.

On the other side, Sirius fought his own battles. Against his own feelings. He couldn't be in love with the only person who wouldn't return it. He knew rejection well, within his family, and he knew he couldn't bear it from you. So Sirius decided to strangle it, the affection, the care, the like that became love. He'd keep his distance, guard his heart and eventually it must go away. Right?

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

After the game ended with James' victory, you all went to celebrate it. What both you and your husband failed to see, your friends picked on quickly. It wasn't even hard, to be honest. Lily watched Sirius glance at you every two seconds with a bemused smile plastered on her face. The redhead nudged her husband and the bespectacled young man snorted so loud you and Sirius locked gaze while turning to look at him. Remus rolled his eyes at both of your heartbeats fastening while your friends snickered annoyed behind your back, changing knowing sighs: if they confront you on your feelings, you'd deny it and of they try to push you to tell Sirius, you'd curse them. Peter seemed the only one as oblivious as the two of you, but the short lad asked about the tension he could strongly feel.

"Shut up, Wormy," Sirius mumbled. "You don't know anything."

"Oh, really?" James teased.

"I think Peter's right."

You turned to glare at y/f/n that simply sipped from the glass on the chair's arm and hummed. With the corner of your eye, you caught Sirius' quartz eyes boring into yours. He was looking for something on your face, you studied his for signs that what the others were saying might be true.

And if it was, what would that mean? After all, it was a marriage of convinience. And it can't be – shouldn't be – anything more. Or...?

Proposal

It was getting out of hand, Sirius thought from his spot in front of the chimney. His parents informed him of the little stunt they were about to perform with the y/l/ns. Why would he need to propose to you and all the papers already proclaimed your engagement? It's ridiculous!

But of course when he brought it up with his parents, Orion and Walburga dismissed his complaints as if he wasn't their son, but another piece of furniture in the house they could place wherever they wanted, however they wanted or even get rid of.

"Because, son, it is the respectful thing to do. The y/l/ns aren't just anybody."

"Oh, don't bother, Orion!" Walburga scoffed. "He wouldn't understand the delicate art of courting if we carve it in his brain. You will propose to y/n, boy, end of discussion."

So, here he was now, mumbling to himself while waiting for his family to go to the fancy restaurant on Diagon Alley where he'd pop the big question in front of gauging eyes. How delightful!

You weren't having a better time either. The announcement was just made a week ago and all the attention it shade on you was bothering to no end.

"I just don't get why we can't skip it, mom," you tried for the millionth time. "Every body already knows. And if we show up in public together it'll be good enough to cement it."

"No, it won't, dear. You cannot show yourself with someone who hasn't make his intention clear. And he shouldn't either."

"Dad?" The desperate yet hopeful cry for help was met with a simple grunt followed by 'listen to your mother' as your father slumped back into his chair, turning the page of his book. Fantastic!

The evening finally came and with it the glaring moment of your little show. Sirius played his part too well. Exagerating a large gesture, he popped open a small box and dropped to a knee next to your chair. You hoped his hands would slip and loose the ring, that way the fault would be on him and you'd get away from this situation. Or that at least he'd pull the fata de masa with him as he moved, lighten up your sour mood. But Sirius moved swift as a panther. Elegant. Royal, even.

The pathetic 'yes' you had at ready wouldn't do after his poetic speech. You vaguely wondered if someone wrote it for him, but snaped out of your head as you realized it was your turn. Pretending to gasp, you covered your mouth with your hands, pinching your cheeks right under your eyes to gather some tears, feigning overwhelming happiness. You shook your head enthusiastically, mimicking a loss of words. When you finally chocked out a booming "Yes!" the whole room started clapping.

That was it, your status fixed in the wizarding society. Judging by the cloudy gaze of Sirius' grey eyes, he wasn't any happier.

Quarrels

"Grow up!" You shouted, probably loud enough for the whole street to hear.

"Learn to take a joke, Merlin!" He retorted.

You huffed annoyed and belittled him: "Of course you can only joke around, even when it's not appropriate. You're Sirius bloody Black, the same stupid, silly prankster you've always been!"

Sirius made a sound of protest. The whole fake relationship you had to present to the public eyes eating him alive. But he tried. Despite what his parents – or you – had to say, he actually really tried. He didn't see anything wrong with a small prank on April first. James and Lily still had their fun, why can't you have why they have? It wasn't even a bad, humiliating one, like all the ones he pulled at Hogwarts with his friend. Sirius went easy on you, thinking it was something you'd enjoy. If you'd ever loosen that stiff allure of the perfect heir.

"At least I have lived my life..."

"Because you're so old now, huh?"

"Not old, but clearly not living anymore. But that's fine. I have memories to go back to and remember good times. Do you, oh, perfect, mature, y/n?"

"Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about."

"Ah, really?" Sirius mocked. "Well, then, tell me. What am I talking about? The perfect grades you sacrificed any spare time for? While us, the normal people, celebrated Halloween, you locked yourself in the potion cabinet until you got the right mix. While we wandered the castle and discovered new rooms, you stayed in your place and followed the rules. What did it bring you, hm? Fulfilness? Happiness? Do you feel the adrenaline of a life lived coursing trough or are you just existing, y/n?"

Sirius' voice grew in intensity until it reached a wild scream. Eyes wide, mouth curled into a mean grin, he looked at you expectantly. But you couldn't even make sense of your mingled thoughts, much less answer him. All you could muster was a weak "shut up", as your throat tightened in a strangled grip to hold back your tears.

"Ah, right. Cry now. I bet no one's ever talked to you like that. Only praises for the good, little heir."

"It's not my fault you choose to rebel. Could've been a good son too, Sirius, and maybe you wouldn't have known how certain spells feel like." You bit out the words, regretting them as soon as they left your mouth. But you stood your ground. Sirius didn't regret his words. And he hurt you too. You don't have to take and take and take without firing some back.

"Low blow, y/n," Sirius said lowly. "Low blow."

"And you just get to tell me I don't have a life like that? You don't think I know that? But you don't know me, Sirius! You don't get to critic my choices."

Respect

Sirius mumbled incoherently in his fist. He couldn't believe he was engaged to someone like you: an artificial excuse of a human being, posing as a good, little pure blood, despite all the wrongs of it. There was nothing he wanted more than to escape the dinner with your family at his house and get in some trouble with the marauders. But that was quite the task he couldn't yet manage.

A trail of house elves made their way in to clean the table. One of them spilled some of the firewhisky onto the expensive carpet. Sirius caught your growing eyes right before you shut them tight and flinched as Walburga's wand pointed to the elf. The scream shattered your entire being to the core and you sucked in a breath you waited a long while to release.

Later that evening, Sirius found you in the kitchens as he tried to sneak out. You led your wand over the hurt elf's body, brows furrowed in concentration as you whispered healing spells. The young man leaped back in surprise, mind working confused to make sense of it.

He may not have been fond on house elves, but seeing you help the little one made him think you are more than an annoying, smug thing after all. And the realization doesn't make him like you, not a bit. But it tells him to respect you.

Safety

You picked at the dry skin around your nails. Fear build up in your gut, ready to explode into tears at any moment. Your shoulders stiff, your spine straightening as far back as possible. Sirius and you have just moved in together. And you've never been alone with him for so long. Much less live with him. What were you supposed to do? How to act?

You knew how to navigate the wizarding world. All the rules and expectations, different in each place. Be nice and respectful to your fellow students, yet take care strictly of them as a prefect to be praised as an example at Hogwarts. Be steady in your believes and not associate with half bloods or muggle borns, don't embarrass your family name, learn the proper manners, dances, speech, to be praised as a perfect heir.

But you didn't know how were you supposed to be with Sirius. So far, he had no demands. You were yourself, growing on his side as he grew on yours. He watched you, learned you, being more than happy to see you discover your authentic self and gain confidence in being it shamelessly. And you loved him as he was. But it surely couldn't be like that anymore. There must be rules to follow. It was one thing having fun together for a couple of hours each day, but this was different. This were the two of you building a life together. And how could that be without patterns to follow?

Anxiety arose in your chest, making it almost impossible to breath. It was then when you heard the gentle shut of the door and the clicking of keys, as Sirius came home. You froze, to overcome with fear to pass coherent information to your brain. When Sirius found you paralyzed in the middle of the room, he thought you hexed yourself by mistake. Then he remembered how skilled you were and pushed the thought aside.

"Y/n? Something wrong?"

You pressed your lips together, breath hitching in your throat as you let out a hopeless whimper. You swallowed hard, trying to ease your nerves and tried to speak again. In vain.

Sirius frowned. Closing the space between you, he placed his hands on your shoulders and rubbed gently. When he didn't feel you resist his touch, the wizard pulled you in a tight hug. One of his hands circled your middle as the other pressed at the back of your head, holding you so close, yet not close enough. And as your body went limp in his embrace, calming down bit by bit, you thought that your worries were miscalculated at worst, exagerated at best.

Trust

Sirius shifted from foot to foot as he walked tightly with your hand in his. His thumb rubbed circles over the back of your palm, but it was more to help ground himself than to sooth you. Even though you needed to have a clear plan for the day, when Sirius asked to meet him at James apartment to show you something, you accepted. But now that you were there, it seemed Sirius needed to calm his nervousness more than you did.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Why do you say that?" He usually did a much better job at hiding his emotions, which is why you suspected he wanted you to know how much this – whatever it is – means to him. So you lifted an eyebrow and chuckle softly.

"Come on, what is it? What can possibly be so bad about what you're going to show me? It's not like you're a criminal. Or, are you?

Your attempt to loosen him up worked, much to your surprise. And Sirius, now more confident, led you to a garage next to the apartment building. A place, he informed you, where muggles take their noisy transportation objects when they broke. Your brows scrunched up in confusion, but you remained silent. You got to a point with your relationship to Sirius – you still couldn't believe you actually called it that nowadays – became strong enough to confine in one another.

"Ok," he said, "I need you to keep an open mind with this. Don't let tge pure blood instincts kick in, alright.?"

You nod, suspiciously and wait for the garage door to open, revealing a bunch of dirty, oily stuff, of different shapes and sizes, placed neatly in iron boxes. In the middle of the room, there was an odd looking thing: two wheels, an uncomfortable looking seat, mirrors on the sides and a manner to control it, you guessed.

Looking up to Sirius, pearls shone in his eyes. He watched that thing with so much adoration it scared you. "Sirius?"

He smiled down at you and tugged you inside. "Come, y/n, meet the other love of my life."

If you weren't too confused trying to figure out what you were looking at, you might have caught the slip in his speech. But you didn't, instead waiting for an explanation.

"It's a motorbike." And, when you gave away no reaction, Sirius continued: "It's a muggle way to travel, like a car – I told you about those – but smaller. And cooler."

"Looks dangerous. What if you fall off?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You sound like Lily."

You fought a scorn at being compare to the muggle born. As you got closer and closer to Sirius, you found yourself discovering his ideas weren't as bad or crazy as the pure bloods believed. And you actually enjoyed his friends company.

"Fine, fine," you raise your hands in defeat. "Tell me more. What aboyt this motorbike?"

"James got it for me on my birthday. It was all rusty and barely working, but he said that's the nice part. I get to fix it and model it as I want." He stopped to laugh at the face you made. "I thought so too, but then I actually started to work on it and he was right. It's not finished yet, I have to polish it so the color won't wear off and work some more on its chains, but..." Sirius trailed off, losing his train of thoughts when he got overwhelmed by the object. It seemed the bike meant more to him than simply a gift from his bestfriend. Or a way to make another statement against his parents, owning a muggle invention.

"It's important because you worked on it," you stated. "Isn't it?"

He nodded, comforted, though not any less surprised, that you understood it. "Yes. It's like, like it's part of me. That's why I want to add a little magic to it as well. My engine will fly, y/n."

As he spoke, his stormy eyes beamed like fresh dew in the morning. "I wanted to share it with you, but my family can't know, y/n. They'll make a big deal out of it, take it from me even."

You nodded. Of course they would! Until Sirius marries and takes over the title of Head of the House, he is still under his parents' iron hand rule. By sharing his hidden passion with you, he stripped himself of his carefully built shields, becoming vulnerable in your presence. You smiled at the thought.

"Thank you. For bringing me here. It's really nice, Sirius. I can't wait to see it in the sky."

Understanding

Several days passed since you and Sirius fought. His words hunted you just like your own did. You knew you shouldn't have said all those things, but you were bitter. And the hurt and pain in his quartz eyes fed a dark part of yourself even you were scared of. And yet, you still couldn't bring yourself to apologize first.

The wizard betrothed to you, though, hated how much the fight weight on him. He wished he could only be angry, but guilt too nibbled at his mind. Sirius saw the panic in your eyes when you realized what you said. You didn't mean it, of course. But he did. He meant what he spat at you and it made his heart clench with the realization. He's not any better than dark wizards, taking pleasure in other's pain.

Sirius munched over his thoughts. Slick, jelly thoughts wrapping around everything he tried to unlearn and squeezing it all off and out his mind. Maybe he did deserve the curses thrown at him. He could have played his part, like Regulus. Be a proper Black and spare himself the misery of his childhood. But then, he wouldn't have his friends anymore. The joyous marauders. Always there for him, need be or not. And how can his treacherous mind betray them like that? Forgetting all his promises of loyalty.

The young man wanted to scream. One side of his sickening mind told him you were right. His parents and dark, vile family were right all along. While the other fought hard to keep him sane, his thoughts clean of the ordeals of his past. He knew better now. He knew real love and affection and maybe he could find it in him to forgive you for acting out on your anger. It seems like you didn't learn the beautiful lessons he did by his friends' side.

You were surprised to see Sirius at your door one afternoon. Though you shouldn't be, really. Orion and Walburga must have insisted too much time went on since you two showed up together in society. People start talking. Never a good sign.

"I'm sorry," you blurted out before even giving him the chance to step inside. He seemed baffled, but took it as an invitation to jump right in the reason of the visit.

"I'm sorry too, y/n. Shouldn't have said all those things..."

"No, no," you spoke over him flustered. "It's me who stepped out the line."

"I got carried away." The two of you said at the same time. And the stretched nerves snapped into an unstoppable fit of laughter.

"I mean it, though," you were the first to speak again once silence set over the room. "It's not your fault, what your parents did do you, what they put you through... it's horrible and has no reason or excuse."

Sirius nodded. "It's still hard to accept it sometimes. But I know it's true. Even when I don't believe it, I still know." You nodded along with him, showing you followed his words, though you couldn't quite grasp it. Before you had a chance to process it better, his voice, now soft, yet still filling the room in its embrace, rose once more:

"And I also know now that I was an idiot to hold your own childhood against you. Couldn't have much of a choice, I imagine."

"The choice was there, I guess," you shrugged, lifting only one shoulder. "It always is. Could have rebel like you. They might not have hurt me, but they would have disowned me. I wasn't strong enough to. I still am not... Strong enough to go against their word, that's it."

Once more, Sirius nodded, debating rather he should take this step in bringing you closer or not. But the decision was mostly made anyway, way before he even found the words to express it. He broke into a mischievous grin and leaned forward. "I'll show you," he promised.

Vulnerable

It was a warm afternoon. The unusual time brought you and Sirius on the garden atop your apartment building. Lounged on the roof, a spell in place to make sure you won't fall, you threaded your fingers through Sirius' beautiful long hair. He fell asleep in your arms, head on your chest, one arm under your waist and another at the base of your neck.

You marveled at the sight. Even more unusual than the good weather. His chest moved slowly, even breath after even breath brushing softly over your skin. His mouth was relaxed, his tongue finally untensed from its spot on the roof of his mouth. Sirius's features softened when he slept, his body loosening its twitching flex of muscles from over the day. His eyes didn't move between his eyelids, his brows weren't a single bit furrowed. Just a small smile tugged at his lips.

It scared you the first time it happened. Seeing him in this calm state, knowing he wanted you to. You didn't know what to do, being caught off guard. What did it meant? Were you getting closer? Friendlier? Or was it more? You didn't know how you felt about it, either. You begin to like Sirius more and more, but this closeness all of a sudden made you uncomfortable. You've never cared for someone like that, like a protector to keep them safe in a week state. It has always been you the one sheltered and coddled.

Leaning down on your back, glaring lovingly at the sun, you sighed in content. The person you were weeks ago, no more. You came to love how Sirius allowed himself to be himself around you. Letting you in charge of your life and boundaries. Appreciating your strength.

Wicked

It was no secret the marauders were a tedious group to deal with. They wrecked havoc for seven years straight at the magic castle and still managed to keep themselves on the good side of the teachers. Damned be their charm!

So it wasn't an exageration on your part to thread carefully around your betrothed. You were forced to spent time with him in the hopes you'd warm up to each other by the wedding date. Quite unlikely, you both thought. And didn't know how wrong you were!

For how could either of you guess you'd fall for the other when Sirius was such a filthy prankster, a shame for the pure blood wizards and yourself nothing but a boring one, without any trace of personality?

The first days together were a pain for both of you, never having been happier to drop onto your beds and forget about everything. Even though expected, Sirius' pranks still caught you off guard. A smelling bomb, hexed to last for a whole week, a sticky jelly glued to your hair that barely came off without taking your y/h/c locks with it, an annoying howler that worked like an alarm for the weirdest, cringiest things in the most improper of times and so many others. You lost count.

That piece of wizard scum had to be taught a lesson! But you haven't the mind of an evil prankster to aid you. So you did what you learned best from the noble society you were born and raised into.

Sirius walked unknowingly into your trap when you invited him over to your favorite restaurant for a special dinner. He didn't know what that was, nor did he care. All he wanted was to be done with quicker. No little was his surprise when he opened the door of the place to a dark, wet forest. Of the likes of the forbidden forest at Hogwarts. Him and his friends explored it several times, of course. But this one was your doing. Designed by your imagination that haven't seen a patch of its twin Sirius was familiar with.

Streaks of spells came his way, prompted by your swift wand movement. Predators long since gone came to be around him as extinct dangerous plants blossomed at his feet. It was all a mirage. Nothing could actually hurt him, nor could he feel pain. But fear caused Sirius to act regardless. Fighting off invisible threats.

When you finally lowered the spell he was met with amused pairs of eyes. Dozens of wizards and witches witness to the show that he become. Red with embarrassment, he vowed to take his revenge. Which he did, cruel and wicked, starting the biggest fight you'd ever have.

Xylographic (the art of engraving wood)

You smiled up at him encourragely. A while ago you both decided to go to an engraving shop and get special wooden rings. Sirius thought such things should be a surprise, but you argued it can be a nice afternoon together, each of you giving and receiving a gift at the end. Besides, the words or symbols you put on the rings would be a secret 'til the end.

Sirius reluctantly agreed, so here you were now. You were smoothening the already smooth piece of paper in your hands, excited to put the words on Sirius' ring. Your husband on the other hand wrinkled his note with sweaty palms, tapping his foot nervously on the cracking floor.

Finally, the old couple owning the shop came into view. You went with the old man, while the nice lady motioned for Sirius to follow him. You watched mesmerized how the craftman worked. His wand stiff in his hands, carving the wood in silence with upmost delicacy. The phrase you prepared for Sirius begin to get a beautiful round shape around the bend. The brightest star can't match the bright soul. At the end, the old wizard brushed his fingers over, cleaning the small splinters away. He then polished the ring and placed it into your open hand with a soft smile.

You waited for Sirius by the counter, buzzing with excitement. You couldn't wait to give him his gift. Nor could he, you realized, when he strolled over to you, picked you up and kissed you hard on the lips, turning around on the spot.

You exchanged the rings outside, after you paid your due, eyes close to not cheat. Sirius counted to three, you both opened your eyes. Though you weren't checking out your gift, wanting to see your husband's reaction. His eyes cleared of the storm they usually bathed into, gleaming like the gems they were, filling with tears. He looked at you, locking your gazes, hoping you understood what he couldn't articulate.

You smiled at him and broke the gaze to brush it over the curved letters on the inside of your smooth, shining ring. Hiccups shook your body periodically as you pushed your body into his, letting him know your feelings through the dead grip you had on him. There are no moments lost in life.

Yearning

You watched Sirius laughing with his friends, emanating genuine warmth. You already said goodbye to yours and waited for him to walk you home as a suitor should. The Quidditch match was good, but already a distant memory as you replaced all the sensations of the day with those minutes of Sirius between the marauders.

James, he hugged tight. The men patted each others back and you wished Sirius would be as vulnerable around you. Lily, he gave a side hug, pulling her close with an arm hanging casually around her neck from behind. And jealousy strung your heart's chords, picturing yourself in her place. The ease with which Sirius shook Remus' hand, the gesture turning into a hug on its own accord left you longing for that affection. The playfulness he showed towards Peter, messing the shortest marauder hair and patting his shoulders made you wish for more in your relationship with the Black heir.

But you couldn't ask for it. It has to be natural. It'd never be. After all, he Sirius didn't want this marriage. Neither did you... or so you wanted to believe.

Zenith (highest point)

You and Sirius walked next to each other on the dark, narrow alley. Your hand itched to clasp his and, maybe, if he allowed it, entwin your fingers. Snuggle your body to his side against the cold, breath in his smell and sigh contently as he wraps an arm around you, drawing circles on your own arm with his palm to warm you up.

Sirius dared a quick glance at you. He didn't want to admit that he wished he could tap your shoulder and turn your attention to him. Lean in and planting a kiss to your lips, nuzzling his cold nose in the warm crock of your neck. Pull you into his body and hug you tightly until you both forget about the chilly night around you. You wouldn't need light, he thought, you'd just feel. And you'd be home.

Your fingers toyed in the nest of your joined palms in front of you. The silence was overbearing. You needed to say something or your mind would implode. Except, what were you to say? There is not a time that you remember when you were so nervous and tongue tied as now.

Before finding the right starter for a conversation, a thunder broke the sky. It was a useless warning, for, as soon as the sound evaporated in the air, sharp and heavy rain begin to fall. The big droplets attacked the unlucky few still out on the London's streets at such an unholy hour.

"Shit," you whispered and Sirius couldn't help the sneaker vibrating through his throat.

"It's just water, y/n," he laughed, tilting his head back and catching the rain on his tongue in bliss. You watched him entranced, lips parted to make the fastening breathing easier.

Suddenly, his fingers curled around your wrist, gripping it tighter and moving your body around him. Sirius guided you in a silly dance, jumping over puddles, trying to sway in between the drops, as impossible as you both knew it was. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to get lost in the feeling. The cold punctures on your skin, the warmth of the man you realized you love at your side, the purity of the moment, the intensity of it all.

Sirius took a wet lock of hair between his fingers, pulling it off your forehead. Smiling down at you, he leaned over to shield you from the rain. You shook your head, a teasing chuckle echoing in the small space between the two of you. Without warning, you jumped to the side and ran. Sirius gasped, hot on your heels.

He chased you. He chased you and he was enjoying it as much as you did. You couldn't remember playing as a child and could bet he didn't have many such core memories either. At least not until Hogwarts. So you dragged the game on for as long as you could. You led him through parks and between tall buildings, through public gardens and parking lots. Until you were soaked to the bone and found shelter under the roof of a small, closed, muggle shop.

"Merlin," Sirius said out of breath once he caught up with you. His hands rested on his hips, forehead pressed to the top of your head. "Got you."

You beamed up at him then you both burst out laughing. "That was," you sighed, "amazing. The whole day was so fun, Sirius."

"Told you you'd like it." His mumble was deafened by the howler of the rain. He pulled back, just in time to see you roll your eyes, before noting your shivers. Gently, he pulled back, placing his leather jacket on your shoulders.

"Thanks."

Sirius nodded, but his sight became hooded. Lost. As did yours, staring into each other eyes. The whole day you both tried to avoid each other. Thinking that the growing feelings weren't reciprocated. Hoping to smother them down. And failing miserably.

Now? Now neither of you could hide it anymore. The pain in your chests, needing each other for solace. Sirius leaned in as you pushed your head up, the sounds of the street dizzying into one collective noise, dimmed by the butterflies inside yourselves. All you could hear was Sirius' hoarse breath. All he could hear was yours ragged one.

Your foreheads touched first. Then your noses bumped, getting a breathy, short laugh out of each of you. His palm cam to pressure at the back of your neck, holding you in place, as his other arm snaked around your waist. Your own hands smothered his shoulders before entwining fingers at his back.

When your mouths met, your lips parted and stretched into two wide smiles. Your teeth clicked together as you kissed, pulling apart for air only to lock your lips back in joyous, honest kisses.

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