courtrae89

[courtrae89]

Whats that your shirt says Charlie? Yes sir

More Lumberjack!Charlie

Source

[courtrae89]

Has anyone started Wolf Pack? Is it any good? I'm looking forward to it, I mean Buffy yall! But let me know what you think if you've watched! Does it already have fanfic, if so point me in that direction for later lol!

[courtrae89]

If you love Nestor READ THIS!!!

Protective Detail: Chapter Index

Updating all the chapters each time I post a new one is getting to be a bit much, so I figured I would just compile them all here and just update this as necessary!

Protective Detail Playlist

Chapter List under the cut!

Keep reading

[courtrae89]

This was sweet with lots of heat at the end!

Popular Series: Innocent

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Summary: You are forced to marry Thomas Shelby after the death of his wife Grace. Unfortunately for you, your marriage isn’t as beautiful as you thought it would be. Will you build love and desire for each other?

Please see below all PARTS published so far:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five 

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[courtrae89]

Looking for some fluffy Nestor with a side of Smut? Here you go! This is my favorite series at the moment 🖤

Protective Detail (1/?)

Nestor Oceteva x Reader

Shout-out to @masterlistforimagines ​ for encouraging me, and helping me brainstorm to write this fic based on This Post from @my-rosegold-soul ​ 😂👀😍 

Warnings: language, mentions of kidnapping, bruises

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: This is my first time writing for Nestor, so hopefully I do alright with that lol.  This is gonna be a multi-chap fic. So like??? Semi-slow burn in that regard. Stay tuned 👀👀 Also, Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate. This year I’m thankful for Gino’s braids 😂

Chapter Index: Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen

Taglist?? I’ve never written for Nestor so I don’t really have a list lol. But if you wanna get tagged in future chapters of this fic totally comment or message me or something and I’ll make sure it happens.

Keep reading

[courtrae89]

Bishops response was my favorite 😂 poor Angel, and Coco!

Since you love getting tiktok requests, can I get Bishop, Angel and Coco’s reaction to their girl telling them “I have to go to the hospital. I can’t see when I close my eyes!” 🤣❤️

I can’t see when I close my eyes

A/n: This is really short considering there’s only so much you can write with this, lol. And yes, please keep them coming! 🥺

Warnings: some swearing

Bishop Losa

“Babe, we have to go to the hospital, right now!”

“Why,” Bishop asks you, already letting his eyes scan your body, searching for any sign of an injury, “what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“I can’t see when I close my eyes!”

He panics for a quick moment, only to realize what you’d just said. “What..”

“I’m serious! I can’t see when I close them!”

Bishop shakes his head, muttering something about spending too much time with the boys.

“Did you know that if you don’t open your mouth, you can’t talk? Try it, querida”

Angel Reyes

“Baby, we need to go to the hospital, now!”

“Right now? I mean you look like you’re fine, and I was just about to watch this-“

“Angel! I can’t see when I close my eyes”

At this point he starts to worry slightly, and he turns to you. “What do you mean?”

“You know when you close your eyes?” You ask him, and he nods, “I can’t see anything!”

“Fuck,” Angel whispers, getting up from the couch. He looks around to find the keys to his bike, and you try your best not to laugh.

“Wait, what about you?”

Angel eyes go wide for a second, but without giving it another thought, he closes his eyes. He doesn’t even say anything while closing and opening them a few more times, before he finally realizes your motives.

“You’re so stupid,” he shakes his head, walking back to the couch again. “I wish you would just close your eyes and go to fucking bed”

Johnny Coco Cruz

“Baby, I need you to take me to the hospital!”

Coco watches you as you're standing at the entrance of the bedroom, while he’s laying down on bed, smoking a joint. “Why, what’s up?”

You walk over to him and take a seat next to him, grabbing his arm. “When I close my eyes, I can’t see”

He blows out some of the smoke, clearly deep in thought. It’s not long before he sits up straight, and stares into your eyes.

“Shit. That’s deep, ma. Can we ever really see anything? No matter how hard we try to look, some things aren’t meant to be found. And we keep our eyes open, not wanting to miss it— but how can we miss something that isn’t there?”

Absolutely speechless, you rise up from the bed again. “I suppose I’ll just take myself..”

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[courtrae89]

I needed this after the way they've done poor coco this season!

Heyyy, I was watching a compilation of women calling their boyfriends by the wrong name on purpose and I wanted to request the same for Coco! Maybe Letty’s in it too? ☺️

Do I look like a fucking Gregg?

Pairing: Johnny Coco Cruz x reader

A/n: I love receiving requests based off of tiktoks, so thank you lol! ❤️

Warnings: Swearing

It had been a week since Coco grew tired of the endless Tiktok challenges you and Letty pulled on him, and forced you two to delete the app —which of course neither of you did.

You did tell him you were done with all of it, though, as you needed him to believe you weren’t going to prank him anymore. However, today was the day you’d try one a little more risky. Letty was already on the other side of the couch, pretending to watch some random movie, while Coco was preparing a snack in the kitchen.

Taking a deep breath, you try to stop yourself from laughing, which wasn’t easy with the look on Letty’s face. Here goes nothing.

“Josh, can you bring the popcorn as well?”

A painful thirty seconds pass, before he pokes his head out of the kitchen, a confused and slightly offended expression written on his face.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

You raise an eyebrow in confusion “If you could bring the popcorn?”

“You just called me Josh” Coco says, glaring at you, “who the fuck is Josh?”

Letty and you shoot each other a weird look, trying to convince him he’s just going crazy.

“No she didn’t, what are you talking about?” She told her dad, and you nodded in agreement.

Coco skeptically watched the two of you, while scratching the back of his head. “My bad..”

He disappears into the kitchen again, and you quickly slap a hand over your mouth to muffle the chuckles threatening to escape. Two minutes later Coco walks in again, and the second he takes place on the couch, handing you the popcorn, you decide to go for it once more.

“Thanks, Gregg”

Your voice was barely audible, but Coco jerked his head to face you immediately, his eyes wide. This time he was sure he wasn’t crazy.

“Yo, what the fuck!” Coco raises his voice, while you continue to remain unbothered, stuffing your face with popcorn. “You’re gonna deny this one too?”

“Please stop tripping, I have no idea-“ you can’t even finish your sentence, as Coco snatches the bowl out of your hands.

“Do I look like a fucking ‘Gregg’ to you or something? First Josh and now that? Shit, how many guys are you talking to, ma?!”

You hold up your hands to motion for him to calm down, “easy there, Ricky”

“Yeah that’s it” Coco mutters, and he grabs a hold of your ankles, dragging you to the ground and attacking you with tickles. You shriek loudly, before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

“It was Letty’s idea, I swear!” You struggle to yell out, causing him to stop dead in his tracks.

“Hey! You weren’t supposed to say that- Wait, what are you doing?” Letty questions her dad, as he moves away from you and yanks her from the couch instead.

“Looks like someone could use a cold shower” Coco nods to himself, dragging a screaming Letty across the living room floor like a dirty mop.

“Y/N, seriously? Help me!” She tries to reach out one of her hands, but you send her an apologetic look. You remembered the time Coco pushed you under the ice cold water, and you couldn’t risk going through that experience again.

“Sorry baby, it’s every man for himself!”

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[courtrae89]

Angels silly ass! This was cute though, and pretty freakin hot!

The silent treatment

Pairing: Bishop Losa x reader

Requested by: @angelreyesisdaddy04 I’m sorry this took a me a billion years, but I hope it’s something like you had in mind! ☺️

Warnings: Unprotected sex, mentioning of bodily fluids, language and Angel being his regular self.

“How was I supposed to know that? It’s not like I’m able to be around here every second”

“That’s the problem, Obispo! I can’t even remember the last time I fell asleep with you next to me, or even woke up with you. I’ve tried to see things from your point of view, but when are you going to start seeing things from mine?”

“I will, querida, I promise. It’s just a rough time right now, but I’ll work on things between us, okay?”

That conversation was exactly two weeks ago, and so far, Bishop has yet to fulfill that promise. To say you’re angry would be quite the understatement, as today was the day you finally had enough.

If Bishop couldn’t understand how you were feeling without him, you would have to find a way to make him understand. And what better way to do that, than to give him the silent treatment?

He returned home a little earlier today, and you could hear him call out for you, but you just ignored it completely. Instead, you just continued folding the laundry in front of you, while listening to his footsteps getting closer.

“Hey, sweetheart” he leans in to give you a kiss, but you just swerve out of his reach, not even acknowledging his presence.

He gives you a confused and almost offended look, as you never turned down a kiss. “Everything alright? Why can’t I kiss you?”

After having to physically refrain yourself from scoffing, you walk out of the room and into the living room, taking a seat on the couch.

“Did you lose your tongue? I’m trying to talk to you here” he says, keeping his eyes trained on your face, looking for any signs that might explain what’s going on. When he doesn’t find any, he moves to touch your cheek, but you’re quick to dodge it. “Seriously, querida? Aren’t we a little too old for the silent treatment?”

After a good five minutes of trying to get your attention, he realizes you won’t budge. Bishop gets up from the couch and lets out a loud sigh, not out of annoyance, but because there’s nothing he finds worse than not being able to talk to you or make you laugh. You keep your focus on the television, as he makes his way over towards the bedroom again.

A part of you feels like running after him, like you should make sure he’s alright, but the other part knows he should experience what you have been through all this time, to really make him understand your feelings.

-

The next day you woke up to a little note that Bishop had left behind, something about how he had to take care of some things at the clubhouse, and even in your tired state, you managed to find the energy to roll your eyes. Surprise. Throwing away the little paper, you decide to enjoy your free saturday without him.

The hours went by rapidly, and right as you’re about to change into something more comfortable, your phone starts to ring. You notice Angel’s name on your screen, and you frown lightly, before picking up.

“Hey Angel, what’s-“

“There’s something wrong with Bishop, he says it’s his heart, please just come to the clubhouse!”

Time seems to stand still as you process Angel’s panicked words, your mind going through a thousand awful scenarios. Not giving him an answer, you bolt outside, not wasting anymore time to find your man.

You practically kick open the doors of the clubhouse, where you’re met with all of the guys. “Templo”, is all you need to hear.

Sliding open the door, you find Bishop in a perfectly fine condition, along with a big grin plastered on his face. Your worry gets replaced with pure irritation, not believing this idiot.

“What the actual fuck, Obispo? They said there’s something wrong with your heart, how can you lie about such a thing?” You say, smacking him on his shoulder, making him laugh loudly.

“It wasn’t a lie, querida. My heart’s breaking, and it’s because of you pretending I don’t exist!”

“Wha- have you completely lost your mind, old man? You should’ve been an actor, instead of a part of this club”

You reach out to smack him again, but this time he catches your wrist and pulls you onto his lap. He grabs the back of your hand and presses his lips against yours. Your pride begs you to push him away, but after barely touching him the past few weeks, the lust convinces you otherwise.

The hands that were now settled on your waist, move to pull up your skirt, before palming either side of your ass, giving it a loud smack.

“You have to stop ignoring me, sweetheart”

“You have to stop giving me reasons to do so” you murmur, while pressing yourself against the growing bulge in his pants.

He groans at the sudden sensation, making you send him a small smirk. He raises an eyebrow in amusement, and without warning, Bishop tears your panties from your body.

“How about I give you some reasons not to” he whispers, pulling your bare pussy over his still clothed erection.

His lips were everywhere, trailing fire in their wake and you’re sure he could hear your heartbeat inside your chest the second he sucked on that sensitive spot on your throat.

A familiar feeling built inside of you, making you disregard the anger you were feeling all this time.

You needed to touch him, feel him.

Your fingers interlaced in his hair, and you watch him shiver from your touch. His large hands are groping every part he could possibly reach, while you're grinding against him, staining his jeans with your dripping pussy.

“I need you inside of me” you tell him, a small sigh leaving your mouth.

“Then take what’s yours, querida.”

Not needing to be told twice, your hands move to undo his zipper, taking him out completely. You give his cock and a couple of brief strokes, before lifting yourself up on his lap.

Rubbing him back and forth through your slick folds, you make sure to get him nice and wet, and guide him towards your entrance.

The second you sink down onto him, both of you let out a loud and desperate moan, savoring the feeling of him stretching out your walls. It didn’t matter how many times you’ve fucked before— it always managed to feel like the first time.

"I missed this," you tell him, and he groans again in agreement, while tightening his grip on your hips. Bishop begins to thrust up into you, and you sink down a little harder, letting him know it was you that set this pace.

"Fuck.. Me too, sweetheart" he grunts, and you decide to move faster.

Bishop follows the pace of your movements, and it wasn’t long before the sounds of loud moans filled echoed through the room. You’re holding on to his broad shoulders, as both of you are building more rapidly towards your climaxes.

“You feel so fucking good wrapped around me” Bishop groans, while pulling up your shirt to have a taste of your hard nipples. His tongue worked skillfully, paying both of your breasts the same amount of attention they deserved.

It wasn’t long before you were close to the edge, and you allowed Bishop to give you that final push. He rubbed his fingers in short, hard circles over your clit, triggering your orgasm. The mind-blowing feeling had you crying out his name, your back arching into his touch and your toes curling with pleasure.

The screaming of his name, and your walls suffocating his throbbing cock, had him burying his face into the crook of your neck. With a couple of more thrusts, he came inside of you.

Neither one of you spoke while catching your breaths, so it wasn’t long before reality had set in again and the anger was starting to return. Bishop immediately caught on, though, and pulled you in for a soft kiss.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know I fucked up” he began, placing multiple kisses against the side of your face. “And I know I’ve said that before, but this time I truly mean it.”

“You broke your promise, Obispo”

He notices your eyes aren’t on his, so he gently grabs a hold of your chin, signaling for you to meet his gaze. “Hey, look at me”

“I’m a fucking idiot, and I messed things up. I used the club as an excuse, but the truth is, you’re my number one priority, and it’s time I start acting like it.” He says, making you nod your head in agreement.

“For starters, I won’t be home later than eight, no matter what happens. Also, sunday’s are our new movie nights, and you get to pick every single movie you want to watch.”

“Even the Notebook?”

“Yep,” Bishop says, trying to sound confident, but the pain in his voice is too evident. “Even that atrocity. So, am I forgiven?”

You take a quick moment to consider the offer, which to be honest, is almost too good to pass up. Bishop pokes at your sides, anticipating your answer.

“Fine, you’re forgiven.”

A big grin creeps up on his face, and he pulls you in for another kiss. You can’t help but smile against his lips, but before you can actually enjoy the moment, you hear a loud knock on the door.

“It’s nice to hear that the two of you found a way to make up. You’re welcome, by the way!”

Fucking Angel.

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[courtrae89]

This was so cute. 💜 Happy

Can I request something where the reader meets Happy at the dog salon, and she accidentally dyes Ope pink? 😂💜

It’s.. nice?

Pairing: Happy Lowman x reader

A/n: this request was so random, I had no idea how to write it, lol. I still hope you enjoy it though! Also, I don’t know anything about working in this field, so just ignore anything that doesn’t make sense 😌

Warnings: None!

“Did I ask her if the dog was potty trained? I sure did. Am I cleaning up pee, right now? I sure am.”

You’re so busy scrubbing the floor and complaining to yourself, you didn’t notice the sound of someone walking into the store. It wasn’t until you looked up from your position on the ground, that you gasped at the sudden man looking down at you from the counter.

That’s certainly one way to make your presence known—just staring until somebody acknowledges you. You have to admit, though, it’s definitely better than your usual nagging customers.

“Hi, I’m so sorry” you say, while running over to the faucet to quickly wash your hands, and run back to the man who seemed not bothered at all.

“How may I help you today?”

The guy stared at you in silence for a couple of seconds, and there was no doubt about the fact that he managed to make you feel a tiny bit intimidated, or turned on. Either way, the familiar piece of leather hugging his body is not helping your case, but you just shrugged it off

“He needs a trim, and his nails cut.” His voice was hoarse, and you realized he wasn’t a regular here. He didn’t seem like the type who would be interested in answering multiple questions, so you didn’t waste any time on small talk.

“Sure thing! I’ve got a spot for him right now, you could pick him up in, let’s say an hour?”

He gives you a quick nod which you returned with a small smile. You let your eyes fall onto his furry friend, and you can’t help but reach out and give him some nice scratches.

“Oh look at you being so cute and handsome” You tell the dog in a high pitched voice, “Do you have a name, baby?”

The man raises an eyebrow at your enthusiasm, but tells you anyway. “It’s Ope”

“Well Ope, you’re my cutest customer of the day. Don’t tell anyone I said that, though.” You whispered the last part, and for the first time since his arrival, the man showed you a hint of a smile.

Once you get back on your feet again, you give him a quick rundown of the plan, making sure he’s alright with everything, and let him fill out some forms. When everything’s set and he leaves the store, you rush over to the piece of paper to figure out his name.

“Happy” you mutter, a small laugh falling from your lips. That’s ironic.

As you’re busy shampooing Ope, you notice something strange. His fur was starting to change colors, and so were your hands. A confused look spread on your face, while you reached out to the bottle of shampoo you’d used on him. There was only one slight problem— it wasn’t shampoo.

Your heart begins to pound inside your chest, and you’re frozen in place. Your eyes move from the dog, to the bottle of hair dye, only to go back to the dog again. He was sitting completely still without a single care in the world, something that couldn’t be said for you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You panic, while rushing to rinse the dye out of his white fur, which was no use at this point. “This is how I die, isn’t it?”

This man was part of a motorcycle club, one you had heard more than one story about, and none of them the good kind. He wasn’t going to take this lightly, hell, would anyone? This day could not get any worse, and if it wasn’t for your professionalism, your tears would be flowing by now.

You finish up the rest of the session, adding a nice bow in the hopes of it making the situation a little better. It wasn’t long before you heard the door open and Happy appeared. Should you run while you still have legs?

He walked up to you, sending you a small nod, which you returned with a painful smile. “I’m here to pick up Ope”.

“Right this way” you muttered, as you motioned for him to follow you. He was right behind you and you could feel his eyes burn into the back of your head.

The small bark of Ope caught his attention, but once he looked over to his dog, he didn’t know what to say. His lips were slightly parted, as he took in the sight in front of him.

The dog’s fur was pink. A very subtle shade, considering you had washed it out before it had a chance to dry, but definitely pink. Happy watched as Ope just sat there, freshly blow-dried, wagging his tail and grinning widely.

Happy turned to you, his toothpick on the verge of falling out of his mouth. “He’s pink.”

“I’m so sorry! I messed up because I was too distracted and didn’t realize it was doggy safe dye instead of shampoo. It will definitely fade out after a couple of washes, but until then I can give you some free coupons!” You tell him, trying to make the situation better as you hurry to open the little drawer where the coupons should be.

“Look,” you say, taking in a deep breath, “I had the worst day ever, alright? I spent the entire day cleaning up pee, getting bit by dogs that look like rats, I turned your dog pink, and now I’m going to have to tell you we’re out of coupons.”

Happy raises an eyebrow at your rambling, almost amused by you trying your best not to cry out of frustration. You frown when you realize he’s just awkward standing there, watching you have a dramatic meltdown.

“This is the point where you say something”

Happy takes another look at your pouting face, and for some reason, he can’t even imagine getting angry with you.

“It looks nice”

Both of you are now staring at each other, before you break out into laughter. “No it doesn’t! You’re just saying that to make me feel better, aren’t you?”

He lets out a low chuckle and walks over to Ope, giving him a closer look. He didn’t know whether the bow made everything a bit better, or completely worse.

“It will wash out” he shrugs, “you don’t mind, do you buddy?”

And he didn’t. Matter of fact, Ope felt perfectly fine with his new look. The soft interactions between them made you feel more at ease, but there was still a part of you that felt guilty.

“I still feel terrible! Please tell me how I can make this right” you say, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You could get a drink with me”

“Oh god, is that biker code for making me disappear?”

He sends you a quick ‘what the fuck’ expression, while shaking his head. “It’s code for a drink. Club’s throwing a party, you should come.”

A party? Where you’ll be surrounded by a bunch of bikers? Something tells you that it might not be the best idea, considering you’re not familiar with this place whatsoever.

“I don’t know.. I mean, I don’t even know where that is and-“

“I will pick you up. You can text me the address, number’s on one of your forms”

The man who barely said three words when he got here earlier, now being eager to drive you to one of his parties. You don’t know if you should be scared, or flattered by the hopeful look on his face. Sighing softly, you decide it might not be such a bad idea to meet new people.

“Okay, but!” You lift a hand to stop him from smiling at you “if anyone tries something”

“I’ll take care of them”

“You mean ‘take care of it’, right?”

“No.”

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[courtrae89]

Uh oh... what's he got up his sleeve! Either way I'm sure Olivia's got this!

Unbroken (C4) Fix You

“I hate being sick,” I said curled into a ball, holding the thermometer between my teeth. Rebecca waited sitting next to me, “Most people do.” I haven’t been cooperative lately, so she had to take the thermometer herself. “102°” “Are you sure it isn’t broken? That can’t be right.” I protested. “What’s not right is that the medication isn’t working…” I wasn’t getting any better, nor getting proper sleep. The next morning after my first night here I left before sunrise, without other permission than my own, but didn’t make it to the compound and woke up back here. She later decided it would be best to lock me inside the room, and that’s why we’re both annoyed now. I’m not an animal that has to be caged and I tried many times explaining to her why I did that. Not going to class meant no future, and if I had no future, what was the point on getting better? What I never mentioned was the visit from her leader friend and his warning, I think she doesn’t know he was here. “Don’t waste more time on me, Rebecca… You should let me die.” She chuckled, “Olivia, don’t be dramatic.” These last two days I noticed something about Rebecca: she finds the brighter side of everything. I respect her, but I feel like covering my eyes and ears at her childlike attitude. “I will, anyway. When they find me they’re going to kill me.” She silenced, “Who will?” “The soldiers.” Too late I knew I said too much. It was hard to know if I was in a bed with white sheets, or it was all part of one long dream. She didn’t speak further, just touched my arm and walked out, securing the door behind her. I let out a sigh of frustration… Why are they taking so long? *  *  * “Hello, sunbeam” She speaks softly ‘cause she knows I’m awake, taking care of me in every possible way despite I quitted being polite days ago. “How long since I’m here?” “Three days.” “That’s weird… feels like an eternity.” “How are you feeling?” “Magnificent.” She wasn’t making fun of me, but either way, she laughed. “Time for your medicine.” I struggled to find her when I opened my eyes, “I don’t want it.” “Olivia, we talked about this” Her voice was firm. “I don’t care, they suck the life out of me. I don’t want them. No more pills.” Every time I had one, the pain increased considerably when it was supposed to work the other way around. It lasted a couple hours and when it slowly began to subside I felt drowsy, with just enough energy to breathe and swallow. She stepped closer and delivered one of her persuasive arguments that always worked. “This is a slow process. And it doesn’t help that you practically have no defenses at all. If you don’t take the medicine I’m gonna have to inject it in you and that will be painful,” She handed the pill and a cup, “Please.” I want to yell at her to leave me alone, her good intentions only make me angrier. I’m tired and I want to get out of here. Hopeless once again, I took the pill with a disgusting taste and drank all the water. She opened the curtains, the sun shines with all its might outside, which is a good thing after all the rain we had. Sophie didn’t come back, nobody else did, thankfully. I could barely stand the doctor. “So… You have a sister back in Candor? Is she younger than you?” I tried hard to make sense of her words, “What?” “You mentioned someone, I figured it was your sister by the way you talked about her. I think the name was… Oda?” I felt chills and suddenly my head was burning. “No” A crushing sensation wouldn’t let me breathe. “I-I don’t have any sisters, I don’t know what you’re talking about…” I took mouthfuls of air, lost in confusion… I don’t remember saying that. I couldn’t have said it, no. Vomit ran fast up my throat, and I ended expelling the water and probably the pill. “Olivia. Olivia, can you hear me?” I couldn’t react at the speed the room was going, it felt like I was falling too quickly to get a hold onto anything, “Olivia, honey, breathe… It’s okay…” “NO!” I finally screamed in agony, as a shooting pain split through my head. “Honey, it’s okay…” Rebecca had a strong grip around me that was hurting me and I couldn’t say it. I clenched my teeth and endured in silence. She gently moved her hand across my back as the jerky moves that controlled my body slowly abandoned me. I was soaked in sweat, but I was cold to my bones. “I’ll do more exhaustive tests, and I’ll have to tell Eric you need to stay a few more days… Sorry” The pity in her voice and the mention of that name forced me to react. “Please don’t tell him… I don’t want to stay…” “You just convulsed, Olivia. You’re not in the condition to negotiate your wellbeing…” I tried to stay awake, but a stronger force had me trapped. Maybe if I let myself go there would be no more pain. It’s disturbing how easily you can disappear. *  *  * A talk between Rebecca and Eric - Noon “So you have a dying patient” Despite the mordacious comment, he wasn’t smiling. “I’m working, Eric. What do you want?” Rebecca said without turning at him. “'A few more days’, you said. It’s not permitted.” “Why did you think I was consulting you? You just were notified.” He walked toward her, his arms folded. He didn’t like to hear it then and likes even less to hear it now. “What makes you think I’ll allow it? The two-day permission due sickness doesn’t include initiates. She is one and already spent three days here. What are you playing at?” “I know that rule but it doesn’t apply the circumstances. I’ll have to take Olivia to Erudite because she’s worse.” She said focused on the microscope, then took a few notes. “I know, you said it on the phone.” He replied, showing no interest. “Then what the hell do you want? You know everything you have to know.” “And I already said no.” This time Rebecca glared at him. Olivia’s condition worried her, and she was building a mood for having to ask help to another faction. “You know, I’d appreciate if you keep your distance at the moment. It upsets her to hear about you and she seems to think you want to kill her.” “One gets a little severe with these kids and they’re already mourning themselves.” *At least the girl isn’t so dumb to get the hint* Eric thought. Newcomers’ stupid ideas always made him laugh. “What are you laughing at?” Rebecca looked up in exasperation. He rolled his eyes ignoring the question. “Anyway, this takes time. She can’t cure overnight.” “I knew you’d say that. Well, it’s time what we don’t have, I can’t delay the lessons for just one individual.” “She’s critical, Eric-” “I don’t care.” Hearing Rebecca’s pleas wouldn’t change his mind. “How can you be so cruel?” “There’s either do what has to be done or I’ll expel her for inability and the Factionless will feast on her.” Rebecca moved away from the microscope but she didn’t dare to defy him. He took a black case from an inner pocket on his jacket and left it on the table. It all pointed out that he could care less if the girl lived or died. What was his actual agenda, then? The answer was as simple as the game: such a dull thing like a cold won’t be what takes her out. He will. “What’s that?” Rebecca’s voice quivered as she looked askance at the object. Eric closed the door from the office and pressed his palms over the table, demanding all her attention. *  *  * It’s been hours? Days? But when I woke up I was back at the initiates’ dorm. There was no pain, though I felt oppressed. My hands were tied. I sat up quickly and countless pairs of eyes stared at me. The tying cut my blood circulation. I neared my hands to my chest and touched my pounding heart. Everyone is here for a single purpose. I can see the hatred in their faces. I can’t blame them. There’s no way to fix what happened, to erase my mistakes. I’m scared, I won’t fight back. “It is time.” The voice sounded familiar, I shut my eyes and waited, yet nothing happened. I opened my eyes again and everything was black. My throat was dry and sored. A mysterious presence turned up from the darkness. The tattoo on his neck, as if it was all I could see, inexplicably I reached out to touch it but couldn’t. After realizing my hands were no longer tied, I stilled, tiny drops of sweat rolled down my forehead and temples. “Are you going to kill me?” I asked the quiet vigilante. The pause was part of the answer. “Why do you ask? Should I?” “Will it hurt?” “Yes, it will.” “Good…” I sighed, glad. He firmly grabbed my arm, I don’t know how he was able to see in the pitch black. I caught the flash of a needle burying in my skin, a jab and a burning heat, and no words. I climbed him with my eyes and the coldness he was stabbing me with overwhelmed me. Soon there was only pain over pain, flowing through my body without a stop, reaching every corner, wrapping around every organ and nerve. I bit my tongue to restrain a scream, writhing in suffering. “Are you enjoying this?” I questioned the shadow. He slipped a deep whisper through my ear, “You have no idea.” His voice shook my soul. I couldn’t take the pain anymore so I stopped fighting it. The fall was neverending. Is this what death feels like? *  *  * My eyes snapped open with those words fading, his fingers no longer squeezing my arm. The bright white lights came from the hallway through the open door. Encouraged by thirst I got up and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and faced the mirror expecting to find a disaster, but I wasn’t even pale, nor had bags under my eyes. The silver heart, which I forgot I still had, was also there. “'It vanishes big bad monsters’” I repeated out loud, staring at its reflection. The world is full of those monsters. Is it enough a small, fragile heart to make them disappear? *I won’t be fragile when I regain my good health and keep training* I thought, then I paused. “Good health,” I said and pressed my stomach and touched my head, and nothing ached, the walls weren’t spinning… And I felt like I was never sick. “Becky!” I ran out of the door, “Becky!” “What?! What is it?!” She came running from another room. “Are you alright?” “Better than ever!” She frowned in disbelief, scanning me up and down and placed her hand over my forehead. “I can’t believe it” She giggled nervously, I couldn’t believe it either. “Are you sure you feel alright? I should check you” “Trust me, I am. Thanks to you” “Aw honey, I was so worried about you” She hugged me. I broke the hug suddenly, too much affection felt weird. “What day is it, what time?” She checked her watch, “Almost eight, we’re still on Friday.” Perfect, I still had time. “I have to go” She tucked my hair behind my ears and tapped the tip of my nose with her index finger, “Take care, sunbeam.” She smiled. The gesture felt somehow familiar. “I will… Thank you.” I ran fast, not to escape from her, but from everything that brought back old memories. The dorm was empty so I took the shower I so urgently needed. The bed I slept in and my bag were intact, perhaps Sophie watched them for me. Sophie… I made the decision I couldn’t be her friend. I like her, but I don’t want to get close to anyone, so it’s best to be clear with her right now. I went to the Pit, feeling different but in a good way: full of energy. The first thing on my list was talking to him to sort out my situation, and then I’d go find Sophie. Even though the place was packed, it wasn’t hard to spot him. He was hanging with two other men, distant from the crowd. I sat on a rock and waited, practicing the right words and also a defense in case I needed it. I hoped not to. I took a deep breath and jumped to the ground. “¡Olivia!” The second I heard my name, he looked up, finding my gaze focused on him. “You’re back!” Sophie locked her arms around me and I lost him. “How are you?” “Good.” I glanced in his direction and he was still there, his attention back on his companion. “Come on, I have to introduce to you a new friend!” She pulled my hand and I resisted, “Wait, Sophie” She’s extremely sweet and I appreciated she wanted to count me in, but I just can’t get involved with people. I don’t want us to get hurt. “Don’t take this the wrong way… See, I hardly know you but I can tell you are a good girl.” She nodded and tiny wrinkles appeared on her forehead as she kept smiling, making it a bit difficult for me. I swallowed. “But I won’t be your friend.” Sadness and awe took over her features, erasing her smile. “But… why?” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Is it because I didn’t come back as I promised? Eric didn’t let me!” Although I ignored the reasons he may have had, I understood. “No, that has nothing to do.” She batted her lashes, “Then why not?” She insisted to know. This shouldn’t affect her so. We’re strangers, she won’t even miss me. I’m bad at this, so I looked down to the floor, “I came here to work hard. I don’t want anyone or anything to get on the way.” A few long seconds passed where she didn’t speak, I looked up and she was wiping away a tear. Then she gave a brokenhearted look at the necklace she gave me. “Do you want it back?” I asked, moving my fingers over the heart. She shook her head, “I made it for you” She sobbed and ran. I think in the end I was the monster. But this is what I want and I can live with it. Over time she’ll leave this behind her and make new friends. I made my way through the crowd and stopped a few inches away from him. He’s bigger than he was in my last nightmare. “Sir” He didn’t hear me, I spoke too low. My God, this couldn’t be more embarrassing. I cleared my throat, “S-sir” He shifted his weight to the other leg and seemed to turn in slow motion; first his earring, then one half of his tattoo, and by the time we’re face to face, the words I so carefully planned have drowned in my muddy pond of a brain. He sized me up like he didn’t even know who I was. “Sorry to interrupt you.” I couldn’t see the men standing behind him but they went suddenly quiet. He raised an eyebrow, impatiently waiting for me to open my mouth again. My palms were itchy. “I know it took me longer to recover… I just wanted to let you know that I’m good now, and… and…” He looked up and down confirming so. “I wanted to ask your help to compensate for my absences.” He nodded with an indifferent frown showing on his face. “I don’t give private lessons.” He said and turned his back on me. Of course, it could just be my imagination, but isn’t that his job? Besides, a 'private lesson’ wasn’t what I asked. I curled my fingers into fists. “Wait!” I exclaimed grabbing his arm, pushed by his rude answer. I didn’t realize I was doing it until the tips of my fingers brushed his skin and he instantly lifted his arm away, giving me a warning glare. “Just give something to do. If the others learned new things, I want to learn too. Please… just this once.” I was sure of what I wanted, and if he wanted to refuse he should give me a better reason to. He pursed his lips and I could already hear the word 'no’ floating out of his mouth… But then a lopsided smirk loomed on his face. “Meet me tomorrow by the stairs outside the last gate, six a.m.” He bent forward to level his eyes with mine. “Sharp.”

———————————————-

@courtrae89 

[courtrae89]

Have MERCY! That was insanely hot, and intense!

always you (angel reyes)

A/N: Good morning everyone! I know I haven’t posted in a while, and you all know why. Thank you all again for being very understanding, it was a rough couple of weeks, and I’m trying to push through the best I can. This story was supposed to be a one shot for a prompt request I received some time ago, but I’m glad I’m able to finally fulfill it. I wrote out most of it already so it should be posted every 2-3 days. I’m also finishing up Roommates this week, at least trying to! 

Hope you all have been having a good week thus far! Hopefully it is also warming up! Exams have been killing me, but my last one is later today, so yay!

The new Mayans trailer looked amazing! Definitely getting the creative juices flowing, even for EZ. 

Anyways, thank you all again, you are all the utter best!

Special shoutout: To @blackmissfrizzle​, you fucking crazy, violent person, my second brain. Because of you, I got a Tiktok guy on here. But thank you for listening to my crazy ideas about this story, a story that was supposed to be a one-shot turned into a series cause of all of those videos, love you though. And to @angelreyesgirl​ you’re the one who helped me figure out as to why certain things happen in the story, thank you, I just, I love you, you already know this, no more sappiness from me today, maybe. Also, happy birthday!

Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!

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Masterlist

Word count: 8657

Warnings: Mentions of stalker behavior, angst, smut

169: “ What a pretty sight. ”

187: “ Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ”

Keep reading

[courtrae89]

Y'all just over here tryna kill a bitch! DAYUMM!

Hello, I am here for my daily talk.

Just in case we forgot. 😘

I’m over him now

Alex is my new fave right now

[courtrae89]

Whew! I got that reblog button so damn fast I got whiplash! Say it louder for the assholes in the back!

nothing makes me more livid than society continuing to treat 13 year old girls like grown women but still babying men in their 30’s

[courtrae89]

All Eric lovers dream come true! He came back to life!

Fragmentary

A Divergent Fanfiction ~ Masterlist:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

[courtrae89]

Poor Olivia 😕 I hope she beats the crap.out of Amber at some point!

Unbroken (C3) A Cold Heart And A Hard Rain

For many years it has been the same pattern; I’d wake up sweat-soaked, fighting for the next breath. The nightmares I have are so real I can’t get proper rest, and that’s why I don’t sleep much. Today wasn’t any different. As soon as I opened my eyes, gasping, I didn’t know where I was. I sat up, my bag right next to me, and when I looked up I found myself surrounded by empty beds. My heart jumped frantically in my chest and I jumped from the bed, put on my shoes and ran to the compound… Please, this has to be another nightmare. The group was already gathered and I stayed at the back, where nobody saw me. As the rain came down thick and fast along with a chilly breeze, I regretted not bringing my sweatshirt. We seemed to be waiting for the instructor, as he was nowhere near to be seen. He’d never know I was a little late. “Shit. I wanted you to train outside today” That was him, I knew his voice. I couldn’t see him ‘cause he was at the front. “Someone will train outside, however. Olivia.” He said my name. Walking through the group he found me just as easy. I didn’t know how, but he noticed. “Twenty laps around the court.” Everyone turned at me and there was nothing I could say to lessen things. Because of the storm, one could barely tell it was daylight. And I don’t like storms… they sound like the end of the world. I was about to step outside when a thunder fell nearby, making me step back and colliding with him as he stood behind me. “Why can’t I run inside? Please. I’m very sorry I’m late…” He just stared, indifferent to my words. “Thirty laps.” He could tell I was scared and used it against me, so the more I’d say, the more laps I’d get. I had no choice. I bit my lower lip to stop it from trembling and kept a note to self to not beg for anything ever. I made it to the court and I tried to run, though I slipped and fell several times, it was raining like a waterfall. Breathing became impossible when the feeling of drowning got worse. Every time it thundered my mind turned blank and I lost count of the laps. I felt trapped. My body begged me to quit, I had little to none strength left to continue running, and I was cold. I couldn’t stop hearing his voice in my head, “Thirty laps…” and the giggles from the class. My stomach wrenched in pain and I had to stop and vomit. A lot of people have found their strength in the middle of adversity. I don’t have many strengths, but maybe in the future, I can reach for something that worths all this pain and bother. I couldn’t give up, no matter how much I wanted. I don’t know how long it took me, but I ran all thirty laps, and when I walked back to the compound, he beckoned me back to the weightlifting area again. I was uncomfortable and heavy with all my drenched clothes, even my underwear was. The painful spasms in my stomach made me want to roll on the floor. I left a watery path of footprints and drops and squeezed the water out of my clothes and hair making a small pool beneath my feet. He first spoke to a boy who was also lifting weights. I thought he would at least allow me to change, but he didn’t even mention it when he returned. “Can I have some water?” “Thought you had enough” “Can at least change my clothes?” No immediate reply. “Please?” He crossed his arms, squinting at me. “Jake” He called the boy, “Go get a mop and a glass of water.” I was thinking about asking him a few minutes ‘cause I wasn’t feeling well, but I would settle for water. The boy came back and stayed until he was asked to leave, but he seemed unwilling to do so. “You lifted weight yesterday, today you’ll do push-ups. You know what that is?” I nodded and he frowned, “Speak” “Yes I know, sir” “Right, so you’ll do that and you won’t stop until I tell you to, or” He poured the water over my boots, making sure the glass emptied to the last drop. “You won’t have any water.” I felt ridiculous for believing he intended good, I couldn’t understand why he had the right to treat people like this. “Then you clean the mess you’ve made and the one you might.” “Yes, sir.” I cleaned as best I could, thinking I deserved it for not being more responsible; I usually wake up before dawn, but this just wasn’t my day. As for the push-ups, I’ve never done any but I’ve seen pictures. I’m supposed to hold my weight over my arms rising and lowering my body, which doesn’t seem hard, except that I have my arms still tired from the work I did yesterday. At one point, in the middle of my struggle with pain, the difficulty of the exercise and the cold I felt, I sneezed nonstop. I’d smash my face against the floor, but I kept going nonetheless, asking myself if I was anywhere close to reaching my limit. The morning lasted eons, and reality was dark gray, cold and cruel. I was disappointed in myself, perhaps my precipitated decision would end up badly before achieving my goal. My body finally forced me to stop, overwhelmed by sweat, chills, and sneezes; and it was only then I realized everyone was gone. I was the only one left in the compound. It hit me hard as a slap knowing I didn’t count, I didn’t exist for them. So I laid down on the icy floor, staring at the ceiling and hearing the rain, hoping to cry my despair. But I laughed instead.

I sat on an empty table at the hall, mostly by an automatic impulse. I wasn’t hungry, just thinking about food made me retch; I only grabbed a water bottle that I drank too little from ´cause my throat ached. All I wanted was to close my eyes. Either that or disappear. No one would notice and I wouldn’t have to give explanations. I folded my arms like a pillow over the table and let my head sank in those thoughts. “Hey, Olivia… Can you hear me?” I could hear, indeed; and she insisted on waking me up and I didn’t want to. “Olivia… it’s eight” I quickly looked up, “AM?” She laughed, “PM” It was the girl I hit sitting next to me. I dropped my head over my arms again, no longer able to ignore my splitting headache. “If you want to sleep, you should go to bed now. Do you want me to go with you? They won’t like to see you here after ten, and you don’t want another punishment, do you?” “I want to be alone” I replied glancing up at her. She hesitated, but she didn’t leave. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you… I wanted to tell you what happened this morning was unfair. I didn’t know you weren’t there with us or I would have found you, and then I didn’t say anything because… I’m terrified of that guy.” She leaned over and mumbled, “He’s a jerk, but a big scary one.” “Sophie, right?” She smiled and nodded. I wouldn’t have spoken my mind if I was thinking straight. “Don’t worry about what happened, I know everyone’s deaf and blind to keep themselves from getting in trouble, so leave me alone.” She blinked repeatedly, parting her lips yet no words would come out. “I-I thought we could be friends…” Friends? As far as I was concerned, she could be yet another girl who likes to make fun of others. Although… that wasn’t what her fallen brows and sad tone transmitted, and she still had her swollen nose because of me. A sting of guilt made me realize I was being a little too rude. “I’m sorry- don’t listen to me.” I rubbed my forehead with my hand, “I’ll take your suggestion to go to bed…” “Great! Let’s go” And just as if I didn’t say anything that made her feel bad, she took my hand and held onto me tight. If it wouldn’t have been for her, I would’ve end anywhere but the dorms, everything spun around me and I couldn’t remember which hallway was the right way. “By the way, last night was amazing. You didn’t let that dumb bitch Amber intimidate you, I was so hoping you would punch her! Remember my words: someday she won’t get away with it.” The conversation went on and on without me reacting to her quips and giggles, yet she seemed content, while deep inside I urged to ask her to shut up. Then I think I said something before getting to the bed and fell unconscious.

“Oliviaaa” There she was again, singing my name. All I had to do was getting up and tell her she wasted her time trying to be my friend. She could go with her perfect doll face and her laughter to bother someone else, I barely had the energy to breathe. “Holy shh- You don’t look good!” I turned my face away when I felt her hand on my forehead. “We should hurry to the infirmary.” “No… I’m so cold…” A ton of led weighed over me as I rolled over. “Did you sleep in the same clothes? You were supposed to get changed” I whimpered, 'cause I couldn’t even sleep. “That’s exactly what you said last night when you refused my help!” I opened my eyes trying to remember how I ended up like this. Every piece of memory was a door shutting close adding more pain to my headache. “Get changed, I’ll wait outside,” Sophie said. Hundreds of sharp needles traveled down my throat as I swallowed. I let out a long sigh, today would be even longer and complicated than yesterday. I was burning and sweaty, yet I put on everything I had to protect myself from the cold I still felt and threw yesterday’s clothes in the nearest garbage can. Sophie advised we should get our breakfast before going to the infirmary and I agreed despite repulsing both. “Guess what! Remember Bob, the boy at your left?” She asked while we waited in line. I had no idea who Bob was. “Doesn’t matter, I asked him to swap beds with me and he said yes!! We’ll be together now!!” I wasn’t able to find the happiness of having our beds next to one another but she did. Silly cheerfulness aside, I couldn’t concentrate to make my body function and move. I walked away from the line before our turn, I needed a minute. Then she ran after me. “Olivia! Here, eat a little” I wrinkled my nose rejecting the muffin. I’d vomit before taking something in my stomach. “Are you okay? We better get going.” I didn’t answer but kept walking further away from noise and people. My vision was blurry and I sat, Sophie sat next to me and gulped down both muffins. “Olivia…” She insisted, mouth half full, and caressed my knee. “There’s no need to go seeing the doctor, just give me a minute.” By the time the class started, I wasn’t feeling like doing anything, I felt worse. And it wasn’t at all convenient when the instructor said we will start practicing fighting techniques and picked Sophie and me for a demonstration. Needless to say, I asked her not to say anything and she wouldn’t listen, she approached him carefully to explain to him. Sophie’s a little taller than me, but seeing her next to him, ducking her head and wrapping her arms around herself, she looked like a girl half her age, struggling to hide the panic she felt towards the young man that was head and a half taller than her. “Problems?” He asked me, his brow furrowed. “No” “Then let’s begin.” “We can’t” Sophie interfered. “She can barely stand, she’s not feeling well and I can’t fight like this; it wouldn’t be fair having an advantage.” “I’ll do it, Eric. I’ll fight with her.” Amber. Her massive amount of hair accessorized with black ribbons this time. In her smile, it was once again obvious she’d never give away the chance to go against me. And he let her. He pushed Sophie aside and forced her to shut up so he could focus on us. She was the first to attack, and I guess it was good not feeling any pain when she hit me as I saw everything going black before hitting the ground. *  *  * I woke up startled and thirsty. My sweatshirt and my shoes were missing, and the place was unknown. Brushing my forehead with my fingers, I discovered my left eyebrow swollen and a small bump on the back of my head. The rain outside the square room was still loud and heavy, and coldness crept its way as it did in all places. I was almost sure this was the infirmary. To my right, there was a bottle of water. I reached out and found a thin line coming out from a plastic bag hanging from a stand and attached to my arm. I pulled it and a strand of blood ran along my arm as the needle twisted inside. The doctor walked in right then. “Oh no Olivia, don’t take it off!” I showed her the water and she passed me the uncapped bottle, then she put the needle in place and cleaned the blood. It felt like broken glass every time I swallowed, but the thirst wouldn’t subside. Becky turned on the lamp beside the bed, the light was harmless to my eyes, and she sat watching me drink with a smile. “What happened?” I asked between sips. “You passed out in class and hit your head. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” “Thank you. Could you bring me my clothes, please? I have to go.” “You can’t, honey. You need to rest.” I frowned confused and her smile turned into a sad grimace. “I have both bad and good news.” Which she didn’t give me right away, she went to the window to open the curtains and roll up the blind first. “I did a few tests to make sure your head injury wasn’t serious and your lab results came back with anemia and dehydration, and that means you’re sick, aside from having a cold. That is the bad, and the good news is that we can and we are doing something about it right now, hence you are receiving meds and fluids through the IV and you can’t take it off.” The mellow sound of her voice I liked better than her words. This wasn’t the right time to get sick. “Are you sure? 'Cause I wasn’t feeling bad lately…” She smiled and sat with me again, “Your symptoms don’t lie. You’ve been feeling overly tired and having a poor physical performance? I nodded once. “Well those are signs you’re dehydrated, and if you add the radical change when you transferred here, plus the stress and pressure you most likely feel, your defenses dropped… and you’re set.” “So when can I leave?” “In a couple of days. I’ll inform Eric of your condition and we’ll see how everything goes, okay?” Breathing felt something I just couldn’t do the second I heard his name, and I started coughing desperately for air. “Olivia! Are you all alright? Take it easy, honey…” She helped me drink more water, her hand drawing gentle circles on my back, “That’s it, breathe” “I can’t stay in bed, I need to train. Perhaps if I take other medication…?” “It’s for your own sake, Olivia.” She laid me down and pulled up the covers, “Get rest. Call me if you need anything.” She turned off the light and left. All I needed was feeling good so I could leave. Contrary to what she said, staying wouldn’t make things better, but worse. Classes would be missed and that’d slow me down even more, assuming they’d still let me return.

A couple of hours later Sophie knocked on the door. She never wondered if I was asleep- which I wasn’t, she just crowded me. “O! How are you?” She turned the lamp and jumped on the bed while I dragged myself back to sit up. “Not as good as you.” Her tight hugging made me clench my teeth in pain. “I’m so sorry for what happened…” “It’s okay” “The thing is I was right, you couldn’t fight in your condition and nobody listened, not even you. At least you’re getting treatment now, it’s all that matters.” “Is getting that treatment what’ll keep me in this bed for as long as it takes, I don’t want to talk about it.” She nodded hesitantly and we sat in silence for a while. She played with her long hair and I watched it rain. “Some people think rain is depressing but I like it. Its sound is so soothing. If you pay attention, you’ll hear a peaceful nothingness.” Sophie said looking in the same direction as me. I hate rain, I don’t like to listen to it nor running under it. “What happened to you?” I pointed at the wounded knuckles on her left hand. She looked at it and lowered to the mattress, “Nothing serious,” She smiled. Maybe it was all in my head, but she was radiant. It could be her smile making her prettier, or the strange happiness the stupid rain caused on her. She reminds me of a little girl I’ve met long ago, who I miss in the most unexplainable way, whose smile was the envy of the sun and flowers, she made everything around her brighter. That’s why I don’t want Sophie anywhere around me. “You should go… I’m contagious.” She sighed and quietly stared at me. I didn’t like myself for being rude to her, but I was sparing her all the harm I could cause. I don’t need her and she doesn’t need me. Then, unexpectedly, she grabbed my hand and put something she kept hidden. It was a necklace, a black lace with a silver heart. So simple yet so beautiful. “It’s a lucky charm. It vanishes big bad monsters.” She grinned. I felt like swallowing hot sand and it rasped my throat. Not only she came to keep me company, she brought me a present. “You’re not alone, Olivia. You can count on me.” She added so determinedly. “Thank you,” I said for a lack of better words. She passed her arms around me, “I’ll come back as soon as I can.” She waved at me from the door and took all the brightness with her. I stared at the closed door longer than I should, the charm was still on my hand. If only was enough to annihilate the monsters in my nightmares. I rubbed my eyes, refusing to let anything make me cry. Then I tied the lace around my neck. Despite not believing in luck. *  *  * Time passed deadly slow after Sophie was gone, my energy was disintegrating. I was prisoner in the room and in my aching and tired body. The sky dyed of pale orange as night eventually came, but the rain never stopped. Thunder’s explosions imitated massive cannons. Raindrops crashed like tears of stone. The saddest sound I’ve ever heard, and it was unbearable. Nothing could make it go away, not even placing the pillow over my head. Later I changed my position to hug the pillow, putting it in front of my face to block the sight of the window. I’d soon change to a different position when I heard the door being open with extreme caution. I supposed it was Becky thinking I was sleeping so she didn’t want to disturb me. “Becky, could you please close the curtains?” The door closed and there was no reply. “Becky?” I leaned on one hand to get up and turned. It wasn’t her. Lightning flashes showed him as a character coming out from a horror story. A shudder straightened up my spine, his eyes fixated on mine. Then he moved toward the window and covered the piece of sky for me. “Thank you,” I said in the middle of the dark, rushing to find the switch to turn on the lamp. He returned and stilled at the other end of the bed, dead silent. I didn’t know what to do, so I put the pillow back on its place and leaned back. Did he come to check if I was truly sick? What is he doing here and why is he not talking? I was getting nervous, so if he wanted an explanation, I’d give him one. “I-” “If you don’t show to train tomorrow, you’ll be out.” His words cut my voice like a sword. I swallowed and I couldn’t speak, not that it would’ve helped much anyway. He came closer and I lifted my eyes, colliding with his, and the cold gray like the rain, frightening as a stormy sky, bristled my skin. “Do you understand?” I didn’t hear anger in his voice, although the warning wasn’t a good sign. What he meant is that I had no choice. I nodded and he reached closer, his gaze never leaving mine, and turned off the light. And even more silent than when he came, he left. It was just me and the rain again.

[courtrae89]

I'm so glad you decided to start posting this again! I didn't get a chance to read it the first time around, but I'm excited to this time around!

Unbroken (C1) “Hard To Believe”

A long time ago, I got lost and thought I would never find the way back home. I wanted to give up and forget. But I couldn’t. I can’t. I wake up every morning with the same nightmare. The voice that inhabits it tells me I have to live, and I reply with a promise. I gave my word that I will live, but it’s not what I’ve been doing. I’ve been spending the days away from the world, unable to see how lost I am. I don’t know what made me wake up, I just know what I have to do. I have to go out to the world and prepare myself for what’s coming. Virginia and Thomas don’t think the same way. The day I told them what I wanted they were perplexed. They overprotect me like parents overprotect an only child. But I wasn’t asking for permission. The choice was made: I had a new reason to live. They cannot stop me nor convince me. I just had to wait for the right time. I understand they oppose, though. I may have changed their lives but I could also ruin it. So I’m doing this for them, as well; to protect them. Candor is no place for lies. Yet I still wonder if a lie can be worth it when maybe it can save a person’s life. It’s hard to believe there’s something other than sorrow in my future… I guess I’ll just have to hold on ‘til find out. *  *  * “Max said it’s all set.” Thomas came down the stairs after another phone call with a man called Max, the leader of Dauntless. Virginia was seated on the bed, watching me pack a little bag. “Olivia, what if something happens to you? Are you sure you want to do this?” She’s been more than persistent with that question. “I won’t change my mind just because it’s the tenth time you ask me.” “Thomas, will you say something?” “Honey, I know you say this is what you want, but…” He sat next to Virginia, and by his tone, I knew he’ll say what I didn’t want to hear. “Dauntless isn’t a good place for someone like you.” I stopped. “Someone like me”? What place is good for someone like me? I looked at what I packed; only three of my favorite books, a toothbrush, lavender soap, clean underwear… trivial stuff. I know I won’t find what I want by staying, I can only do it if I leave. Dauntless is my way out. I’ll have time to find my place later… if there is one where I belong. “I mean it takes great physical strength to get in, and to stay.” He explained. “You think strength is something you born with or is it something you gain?” His silence was my answer. But I don’t want them to tell me I can’t do what I propose. “You said it’s all set, so this conversation is pointless. I am going.” I finished packing. Virginia stood up abruptly, it looked like she’ll do anything to stop me. Instead, she placed her hands on my shoulders and tried one more time. “I just want you to be happy, sweetheart. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me this will make you happy, I won’t say another word.” “I want to go to Dauntless…” My voice started losing conviction, “But I’m not sure it’ll make me happy.” I can’t help to doubt 'cause I don’t know what’s out there. I just know I need to learn to be capable and strong. “You know we love you, don’t you? And we always will. That’s the one truth they’ll never take from us.” Her words made me tremble. I couldn’t reply, but she didn’t need me to. When she saw my determination, despite the fear, she nodded with tears in her eyes. “Thank you for your candor.” Those were the last words I said to her looking at her kind, yet sad green eyes. I was thanking her for everything she’s done for me. She hugged me tightly for a long time, and then Thomas joined us. Sometimes I think of how easy it would be if a simple hug was enough to erase the worst memories. They say nobody’s ready to say goodbye. It always hurt, no matter if you knew it or not. They also say time heals. In my case, the first is true. As for the second… time has never healed an ounce of my pain. I looked at the basement one last time, many bittersweet memories. I’ve cried my sadness and learned to smile again thanks to them. I know I’m breaking their heart, if it was enough I’d give them what’s left of mine. One time Virginia told me death was a transformation, a new reborn. People who are meant to be together sooner or later are reunited. Their love would create an eternal bond that’d help them find each other. That’s why I’m always in the heart of those who love me, and they’re in mine; we’re never apart. I didn’t believe it then, but she was trying to make me feel better. On my way out I took everyone I love in my heart with me, and I knew to start over was always hard. I ask them to let me go alone, that I’ll be fine. I missed the Choosing Ceremony, but I couldn’t miss the train. *  *  * Everything was different outside. The sun hurt my eyes, the fresh air renewed my lungs. My senses awaken as if I was back from the longest dream. Having the world beneath my feet made my heart tremble from fear and excitement for the unknown. My indications were simple, I was supposed to wait for the train with the Dauntless symbol. Or perhaps be guided by the crowd. They were coming running fast and so was the train, at what I thought was an unsafe speed. I’d expect it to stop, but when it didn’t I knew I had to run like the rest. The problem was that I haven’t run nor did any physical activity in years. Watching them jump inside made it seem so easy. No matter how hard I tried to run I wouldn’t be able to accomplish such acrobatics. I was exhausted already and the lower side of my abdomen began to ache, although my legs were responding and I kept running, until I pushed half of my body inside the train, hitting myself in the stomach, and my legs hanging. I reached the secure side of the wagon crawling like a baby; panting, sweating, and I lost a shoe. Great. The doors didn’t close and the wind blew energic, stirring my hair and clothes. I held from the walls 'cause if I wasn’t careful, I’d fly out of the wagon too. A small group of boys laughed staring at me, but I was too nervous to care. I could identify from which faction every person came thanks to their clothes. Everyone looks elated and none of them tired, not like me. As the train rode fast and high, I could see the rooftops of some buildings. I even think I saw the wall, far in the distance. There was so much to explore. When the pain on my side began to subside and I was feeling a little recovered, a tall man in a Dauntless uniform glanced at everybody. “Follow me!” He yelled and jumped. I would’ve screamed if I wasn’t watching them doing as he told, paralyzed. They’re insane. From the train to a rooftop the distance betrayed to be short, but I’m not brave… If I jumped, I’d die. When the others jumped, they were confident, like it was all a game. Like they could start over if they failed. I could hear laughter, encouraging words, screams of fear and freedom. Everyone was gone except for a girl. Her long blonde braid waved as she made her mind. I didn’t pay attention to her face. The moment she’d jump the only things left in that train would be me and my defeat. “C'mon! You can do it!” She said smiling at me, taking off her shoes. She pulled up her skirt just above the knee, took impulse and jumped. I rushed to the door to see if she was alright, and she made it. I couldn’t… There was no more time; it was jumping now or staying on the train to wherever it takes me and everything would be over. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t make a sane choice, but I wanted to do it. So I did the same as the girl, I took as much distance as I could and ran, with all the strength I had left. I jumped with my eyes closed Oh God I had to make it I became aware when my knees landed on a hard surface, full of sharp little stones. I fell on my face, with my mouth open in a silent scream, and tasted the dust. I stood to fix my clothes and looked around, I was in the rooftop. I touched my burning forehead, the scratch was already bleeding; but even so, I was excited. I did something I thought was impossible. On the other side of the roof, they were waiting for us. Aside from the man who jumped first from the train, there was another one with the same uniform, and in the middle, an extremely serious young man, still and with his hands behind his back. I tiptoed, unable to see anything, so I went closer to listen. I knew he wasn’t Max; although his mere presence was enough to let us know he was a person of authority. Two girls whispered next to me, at the same time he was talking, and I didn’t listen to him, but them. “So that’s Eric” “He looks even better in person, right?” “Shhh! If he sees us talking, we’re screwed!” They stopped just before he asked, “Who’ll go first?” I didn’t get it, the first to go where? Everyone looked at each other, there was no longer fun on their faces. They looked pretty shocked. I was waiting to see what the rest would do and they didn’t move. There was so much tension in the air all of the sudden, and the wind was the only thing we could hear. Should I ask? Should I- Somebody pushed me from behind. I stumbled forward and lost my balance, I fell right in front of him. Some laughed. He didn’t. I wanted to apologize and go back in the crowd and hide, but I couldn’t move. I glanced up in fear and I didn’t do more than blinking and trembling. The little courage I had left just vanished. The gray eyes of the young man were beautiful, yet penetrating like sharp knives. He seemed offended, like I was invading his personal space. “Who are you?” “M-my name is Olivia.” He examined me up and down and when he saw I had a missing shoe, he lifted an eyebrow. I took a short step backward. He looked at the others and started pacing slowly. “If you want to impress somebody, find yourself a circus, this isn’t your place. Here you will learn to be useful to society.” While he spoke, I noticed a mark on his neck. They call it a tattoo. Just below his jaw, the marks went across the neck, apparently finishing above his collarbone. It was interesting, in some way attractive, I’ve never seen a tattoo before. He stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Right now you’re worthless.” There was certain annoyance in his words. I wasn’t going to take it personally, but it felt like he said that to me. “I’m Eric, your leader.” Tall, big and unquestionably strong, he was intimidating. Especially when he looked into your eyes. He caught me staring at him and that seemed to upset him even more, it was too late when I wanted to look away. “The way into Dauntless” He showed with his open arm, more precisely he pointed at the void. Down there, there was nothing but a black hole, to a countless distance. It didn’t make sense. Why would I trust my life to strangers? It didn’t make sense to kill us at an early start, either. And I’m curious. I want to know what’s there, I want to feel it… “Just do it already” He demanded impatiently. I’ve never seen a bluest, clearer sky. Maybe it was life trying to show me there was more to it. I closed my eyes And took the last step into the void. *  *  * As I fell, everything around me disappeared, and everything inside me did too; and I was free. I don’t know if we’re supposed to enjoy the experience, but I did. I knew I had to leave the old me behind if I wanted to get good results. The girl that lived in the shadows for so long craved for some sunlight. It was about time. We were given a short tour around the dining hall, a place they call The Pit, the training compound and lastly the dorm. A giant room for common share, cold and gray. It wasn’t nice but I guess luxury isn’t their style. Our new uniforms consisted of a dark gray short-sleeved shirt, black pants and a jacket made of certain rough fabric. I kept the white shirt with long sleeves I was already wearing and put on the pants and jacket. I left my bag under the bed I was assigned to and went out with the rest. They let us on our own until lunch. It was the perfect opportunity to find Max. Since I didn’t know what was he like, I was hoping him to be a little nicer than our instructor. I saw a girl reading a magazine so I decided to ask her. She was wearing black makeup around her eyes and on her lips and had the inside of her ears tattooed. First, she glared at me for the way I was staring at her, trying to figure out why would she consider that a good place for a tattoo; then she figured out that I was a transfer and had no problem telling me where to go. The office was easy to find. It was on the main floor in Dauntless’ headquarters. Before knocking, I fixed my hair and my clothes once again; I didn’t want to cause another bad first impression. When he opened, he instantly knew who I was, though he wasn’t expecting me. “You must be Olivia, we finally meet.” He gave me a strong handshake and invited me to sit. “Thank you for having me, sir. I appreciate it.” His smile seemed like trying too hard. And even though he was a big man and had the highest rank in the faction, he wasn’t intimidating. He reminded me of Thomas; both shared the determined expression of someone who takes responsibilities seriously. His uniform was impeccable, and his voice was low yet clear when he spoke, “What do you think so far?” The first thing that came to mind was that unfriendly leader, but I wasn’t going to mention him. “I don’t find cheating death a pleasing exercise…” This time his laugh was genuine. Dauntless had a reputation for being fearless, to act first and think later. I haven’t lived by that long enough to know if I like it. “I trust you will adapt and cooperate to keep a low profile,” His words felt like a warning, “Standing out would expose us to unnecessary risks.” “I won’t stand out, sir.” “If you need anything, you know where to find me.” He added as he stood up. “A-actually there’s something I want to ask you…” He sat, but it seemed he wanted to get rid of me quickly. “I don’t want to speak to Thomas nor Virginia while I’m here. I know them, and I know they will call, and they may even come all the way here… but I don’t want to see them.” “Logically, they’ll want to stay in touch, they’ll be worried about you and-” “I’m asking you, sir. Please.” I interrupted him. He thought about it. “All right. I can’t stop them from asking about you, but I guess I can be their link.” “Thank you so much.” He nodded and I stood up to shake his hand. I knew he would keep his word, and also that he wouldn’t tell on me. Thomas warned me that I must watch myself from everyone, but Max is someone I could trust on this, since he’s the main reason why I’m allowed here. What I hoped was to never ask him for anything again. “I’ll go now, you don’t have to stand, sir.” The moment I grabbed the doorknob somebody was grabbing it from the other side and pulled, opening the door first. Hostile, cold eyes from a recent encounter were watching me now. He did seem surprised to find me there. And he stood there, filling the doorway entirely. The awkwardness of the current situation was even worse than earlier on the roof. “Dinning hall is that way.” He pointed outside. He wouldn’t take his eyes off me, yet he looked like I was making him sick. “Thank you,” I said, looking at the floor, waiting that he’d let me pass. He did, and I got out as fast as I could. “Everything alright?” He asked Max. “Yes, Eric. Let’s go” They walked behind me, towards the dining hall where I was supposed to be. I took the first seat I found empty. Everyone stopped what they were doing, Max was about to welcome the transfers. Dauntless believes in the courage that takes one person to stand up for another. And that’s exactly what I plan to do.