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#i just like wording it that way because it's funnier
possiblyreallyme · 3 days
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Ace's little girlfriend
warning: dirty words, getting caught (sort of?), ace can't be subtle for the life of him.
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The young second division commander was a fun time on the ship, from his stupid pranks to his kitchen raids. He was like the little brother of the crew, despite going on and on about his own younger brother all the time, bragging or just straight up annoying the men with stories.
And he was a flirt, much to the teasing of everyone else. He'd playfully flex his muscles when girls saw them working on the deck, wink across bars when the crew was in a tavern or even scoot just a little closer to the fancy pirate ladies they sometimes met.
It was funny— Of course Marco would have to tease him, of course Thatch would impersonate him at dinner, of course Izo would bat his lashes and "faint" as if Ace was some sort of hunk. And what made it funnier, was that they all knew what he really was.
Poor boy liked to pretend to be some bigshot, but they knew he was nothing more than a nervous virgin, too shy to even hold a girl's hand. It was cute when they asked about all the chicks he'd banged and watch him go bright red, flames licking at his freckled shoulders while he stutters and fumbles over his words.
One time, back on a summer island when Ace was still relatively new, Thatch thought it'd be funny to buy a red thong and place it in Ace's laundry basket to stir up his nerves. And boy, was it the talk of all of Whitebeard's fleets for months.
"Ummm..." If only this situation was as lighthearted as that time.
Ace had the eyes of every man on the ship burning holes into his skin, and he had never wished he wore a shirt more because suddenly the mostly-faded scratches down his back and shoulders felt bright red and exposed.
Marco was stunned into silence, seeing how Ace clutched the small white piece of fabric with a death grip, looking ready to burn it while he kept it in his clenched fist. He had never seen Ace grab something from someone so fast— not even when Luffy's bounty went up and Vista held the wanted poster over his head.
"Son," Whitebeard started slowly, raising an eyebrow from where he sat at his chair, keeping his voice low and suspicious. "Could you tell me why Marco found that up in the crow's nest this morning?"
Mortified, Ace turned a brighter red than the beads of his necklace, stammering over some lame excuse about how it wasn't his! He had just grabbed it out of Marco's hand because, um, it was disrespectful to stare at a lady's undergarments!
Thatch practically snorted; eyes glued to Ace's fist with a playful grin. The situation might have been odd and slightly serious, but it was entertaining nonetheless.
Marco, however, was much more smug than Ace was comfortable with, crossing his arms with a mean curl of his lips as he strode forward.
"Well, it seems our Fire-Fist here does know how to get some pussy." He didn't care how embarrassed it made the young division commander to hear him use such dirty words, especially when Ace himself was known far and wide for his colorful vocabulary.
"I-It's not like that!" Ace all but screamed, voice a little too high-pitched and whiney to convince any of them. He knew damn well it was like that, and it almost made him feel bad to deny that you two had such an amazing night a few hours before.
He wished he had the brains to think of a way out of the situation, blame it on someone that they wouldn't be surprised snuck a girl onto the ship. Part of him wished he could boast, too. Because fuck, last night was something he wouldn't be able to get out of his newly-fucked head.
The fabric was so small, especially in Ace's large hands. Much too dainty and breakable and feminine to belong to anyone on the crew. Even the nurses wouldn't wear something like this, a cute, cotton lace with frilly white edges and a flowery design.
"Ha!!" Thatch couldn't hold it back anymore, encouraging the crew to break out into fits of laughter and snickers and almost childish giggles, which only further Ace's wish to bury himself in a hole and die.
Oh god, he was such an idiot. He should have remembered to pick up your panties before someone saw them, and now he would pay the price.
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owlkhemy · 6 months
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I can't believe that two years ago today, a burnt bagel made me finally decide to leave my horrific ex-roommate
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shannonsketches · 3 months
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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sp1resong · 3 months
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no one can know about the weird gay thing i have going on with kms jokes
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kaurwreck · 17 days
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for the ask game: LILAC CHARCOAL AND RASPBERRY
anon this is so sweet 😭
[ask game provided below for reference; if you'd like to play, please reblog from OP here:]
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#anon i love this but i have a covenant with God so i can't kill Him with you#this reminds me of the time my brother lamented his atheism and my agnosticism on behalf of our religious mother. but i'm not agnostic.#so i clarified i believe in God and that's never changed. i just choose not to worship Him + I think there are multiple truths (incl. gods)#which is shorthand but I've never been able to explain it to others to their satisfaction and it isn't anyone else's business anyway#he thought that was MUCH worse and became so dramatic. he was genuinely so thrown. he fixated on the fact it's heresy.#which I didn't expect because like yes it's heresy but heresy is a doctrinal concept -- it doesn't have any intrinsic meaning.#and not to be dismissive but doctrine is fairly sequestered from God. It's functionally and historically a voidable social contract.#i was involved with the church/attended various bible retreats for several years before leaving. but I didn't leave over God lmao.#my institutional involvement was always contingent on its alignment with my own individual purpose/practice/rituals/bible study/covenant.#which church/community leadership knew and tried to triage in various ways but like. it's not hard to reject authority baselessly derived.#so my present relationship with God isn't any more heretical than it was when I practiced Christianity as a religion.#If anything I was maybe more heretical in funnier and more flagrant ways when I was practicing than I am now.#but anyway. my point is.#i wont help you kill god but I'm always here for heresy.#alternatively i also recommend either (1) listening to god is dead (meet the kids) by british india#which when engaged with meaningfully amounts to the same philosophical state of being as killing God#or (2) forming a reverse orphic mystery cult relationship with Him the way I did when from ages 10-14#in other words#we can either sacrifice God to the secular age like thomas jefferson and nietzsche#or we can obsessively study the bible @ the cost of enough sleep that we (in brief spurts) access the parts of us inclined towards prophecy#those are the only two approaches to god that I'm capable of partaking in with any sincerity or intellectual honesty#and I'm unfortunately very married to sincerity and intellectual honesty.#(i'm sorry for meeting your very nice compliments with a nonsequitur illustrating why i should live as a hermit in a remote woodland shack)#(but I suppose I'm not sorry enough to remove the nonsequitur from my response prior to publication. so. take from that what you will.)
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qwuilty · 2 years
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i do not have the brain power to like make these like Proper Drawings but i want to get him out there so. what would you do if you saw him press X if you would slap his shaved head and press O if you would slap his shaved head
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spectresaurora · 1 year
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This Too, Is Yuri
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arolesbianism · 10 months
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Important wx characterization: they do not have a "soft side" they simply are themself and like the others at the same time it's not hard
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pepprs · 2 years
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also omg sorry i keep double vent posting not to mention vent posting at all and i really need to not do that bc it’s so late and i still have to clean the whole kitchen by myself (LOL!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖) but i am so backed into a corner by this therapy situation like the way i cannot tell my counselor abt any of the things happening to me in real time AT ALL and i skipped my session this week in part bc he has me doing this erikson stages of psychology thing now and we literally are not gonna talk abt anything else happening until we get thru all the stages and i didn’t do my homework for it BC IM VERY BUSY AND ALSO UNWILLING TO MAKE MYSELF EVEN MORE MISERABLE??? DUH??? so we skipped the session and i feel so scolded and he sent me a voice memo telling me he thought we should skip it like Omg why is this a class and not counseling 😭 but i also was glad to skip it bc otherwise we would’ve talked abt things happening for me rn and i don’t even feel safe doing that w him at all anymore after the session we had at the beginning of this yr and i know it’s bad and i know i need to leave and i don’t know how. omg
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eliotquillon · 2 months
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keep forgetting ollivan is canonically deaf in one ear but in my defence literally all of his POV chapters are just him homoerotically thinking of ways to get revenge on jasper and indeed the one and only time he mentions being partially deaf he literally does so WHILE TALKING ABOUT JASPER. narrator so unreliable he forgets to tell us about his disability until 3/4 of the way through the book because he’s too busy being weird and horny on main for his ex-friend. What a man….
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sapsolais · 8 months
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#i wanted 2 post this on twt but word limit + fear of being Jumped so here we are! DSKJFHKSDJHF anyways#thinking abt the plague that is Individualism and how so many people agree it's harmful on certain axes but neglect to acknowledge how they#still have this mindset on other axes#saw a post where disabled leftists were (rightfully) criticizing self-centered “leftists”. but i'd seen this post after narrowly avoiding#the same Bullshit Queer Discourse#and witnessing these two things side by side made me think like. Huh.#in both instances you have a group of people who consider themselves to be “just” and “progressive” but neglect members of their communitie#and fail to acknowledge their own narrow-mindedness. despite attempted corrections from said neglected members of these communities.#and it's FUNNIER when you have people who claim to be all about love when they hold 0 love for their communities. that's the thing i think#there are sooooooooooooo SO many people online who are only interested in talking about Themselves. and not in the 'people like me are#are often overlooked and others need to be aware of this' type of way. no. i mean like people engaging with meaningless discourse online#trying to prove that They are going through something UNIMAGINABLY hard and that their word is absolute (it is usually just white#folks in their twitter echo chambers in all honesty. i'm sure there are other instances but i cannot speak on those.)#so you have people who are so self absorbed. people who cannot grow until they stop making shit about Them Only#these are the same people who will talk about being “lovers” like you are a hateful ass person do NOT lie#where is the genuine care and love for your community?? Everyone involved in that? do you listen? do you hold yourself accountable for your#mistakes? are you okay with being wrong? do people feel safe around you?#are you okay with trying because you care and not because other people are watching? would you do it if people weren't?#i dunno. i hope this makes some sort of sense#sap says#i could talk abt this for HOURS so i'll stop here. for now
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darnell-la · 19 days
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how about old!logan with the filthiest mouth one could ever speak, full with nasty and degrading pet names. just rough and mean logan treating the reader 🫠🫠
note: this takes place in the Honda Odyssey… we can make the man filthier by the way…
———
“Well, you guys are fucking stupid, so, it’s not a surprise we’re lost,” y/n crossed her arms in the back seat as Wade drove through the woods, trying to get to the place Nicepool had me roomed for them to form a team.
“You ain’t the smartest sheep either. Batting your fuckin’ eyelids at Jonny,” Logan scoffed next to her before leaning back in his to rest.
After Wade had told him that there might not be a way to save his world, he’s been in a bad mood. Ever since she met him, he’s been in a bad mood.
“Yeah, but sadly he’s not here with us, right Wade?” Y/n sarcastically asked, making Wade sigh loudly. “He should have said those things about her!” Wade shouted.
“This whole trip is fucking ridiculous. Like seriously, Wade. Why the fuck did you bring me along to save this drunk fuck!?” Y/n complained, making Logan chuckle.
“To save your shitty world,” Logan said under his breath. “Hey! That’s my world too!” Wade argued. “Yeah — That’s why I said that shit,”
“Not like yours is better,” y/n mumbled, making Logan snap his head towards her. Y/n continued looking out of the window, not caring how he felt about her words.
“The fuck you say?” The man asked in a clearly angry tone. “Alright, let’s just cool our dicks and think about a place to eat at after we get out of this shit hole, hm?” Wade asked the two, but they both ignored him.
“Nah, I wanna hear what the little bitch has to say,” Logan called the young lady out of her name, making her snap his own neck at him. “Bitch!? No wonder you could never keep a woman. In every universe!” She shot for his heart.
“That’s something you don’t have to worry about because Ian pickin’ a little brat like you,” Logan tried saying something back in an instant like her comment didn’t hurt. He knew calling her out of her name was shitty, but he’s going through it right now.
The man was pulled from his universe being told he had a chance to save it. Not even two hours later, he was told it was an educated wish.
“Not like you can get in my pants anyways limp dick,” y/n spat, making the man chuckle. He was cocky. He always has been, and his age wasn’t going to throw that away.
“You’re an easy little girl. You would even be able to handle me,” the man looked the girl up and down, giving a look that made her roll her eyes. “You fuckin’ wish,” she said before turning back to the window.
“Oh, honey bun, he does! Maybe y’all can fuck it out in here before we make it home. Got a long way to go,” Wade almost sang.
The two went silent, not declining or accepting. They were just angry, and Wade swore having a small fuck-session would help.
Y/n felt eyes on her through the silence. She told herself not to look back, but she had to. She wanted to see the man’s face, and god, was he fine. She hated admitting to it, but he was.
The way he looked at her legs, made her shift in her seat, growing nervous from the older man’s gaze.
“As I said — Little girl can’t handle it,” Logan finally looked up at the girl with a smirk, smelling the way she grew wet in seconds, and she didn’t know he could. She was clueless which made the situation funnier to him.
“I can handle more than you think. Your dick probably wouldn’t be able to stand up anyway, so stop lookin’ at me like that you perv,” y/n tried covering her legs, but there was no use.
“Oh, go fuck yourself,” the man rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his seat. “Do it yourself, coward,” y/n said under her breath. She thought she was quiet enough until his head snapped back at her and Wade gasped.
“Oh, you nasty little peanut,” Wade giggled. “Oh, you want me to fuck you?” Logan asked, giving that stupid smirk again. “What!? I never said that,” y/n lied, trying to think of something to stop this conversation.
“Oh, but you did, bub,” Logan felt like he was shifting closer, but y/n kept her eyes off of him. “Don’t go silent on me now, bub. If you need a little cock to fix that attitude, I can do it,”
The instant confidence he had, made the girl nervous. What the fuck is she going to do?
“Don’t need cock,” the girl spoke quietly. “I think you do,” the man’s hand was now on the grips thighs, gripping it a bit rough to get a reaction.
Y/n turned and swung, going to hit the man somewhere, but he got her fist and pushed it away before hovering over her body.
“You’re feisty for a girl who’s soaking wet,” the man said, confusing y/n. “You can smell her that bad!?” Wade asked, wanting to know if all. “Oh, yeah, and she smells sweet,” Logan admitted as his hands tugged on her belt.
“Let’s see if I’m right,” Logan ripped y/n’s belt off and shorts down her legs, exposing her pretty lace panties. “Logan! Fuckin’ get off!” Y/n fought back, but he knew she could do better.
“You sure? Kinda looks a little messy down here,” the man laughed at her girl as he spews her legs, seeing the dark spot grow. Before she could say another word, he ripped her panties off, making her yell at him more.
“Pretty little cunt. Maybe if you weren’t so bitchy, I’d eat it, but I have different plans for you today,” Logan wiped a finger across her lips before taking them to his mouth to suck.
“Yep — Sweeter than peach, Wade. Didn’t know you had sluts as friends,” Logan laughed again as he fumbled with his own belt. “Logan!” Y/n still shouted, kicking and slapping but he had his single hand pinning her shoulder down.
“Look on the bright side, peanut — You’ll get some dick and maybe that’ll energize you for our fight?” Wade said about anything to hide the fact he loved hearing Logan get the way he gets.
“Fuck you, Wade!” Y/n yelled at the man. “Nah uh, only I do that to you,” y/n almost forgot about Logan until she looked down, seeing his cock out in his head, stoking and leaking pre cum.
“Got me so fuckin’ hard. You know how good you look fighting? How pretty you are yappin’ that damn mouth? Could only think about you under me -- where you belong,”
Logan struggled but made his way in between her legs. “Fuck you! Fuck you, a-and Wade! You’ll last two seconds,” y/n tried laughing at the man to seem tough as usual, but he shut her right up with a hard thrust into her cunt.
“What was that? Two seconds? If I lasted a short time, it’s because this cunts so fuckin’ soaked, not because I’m old, baby,”
Y/n’s hands pushed at the man’s stomach, trying to slow him down and stop him from pushing hitting the right spot with each thrust he gave.
“S-Stop!” The girl whined already, feeling the knot in her stomach build and her breathing get spotty. He was huge and hard. Harder than she thought a man his age could be.
“Don’t think you want that, baby. No, you want me to fuck this pretty little girl till she cried and leaks on the seat,” Logan whispered in her ear as his own breath became heavy.
“God, you guys are hot. Love the play date you guys are having! Maybe give me a review after the Uber ride. Tell me if the seats felt comfy and if y’all had enough room to fuck like rabbits with rabies,” Wade seemed excited.
“Hear that, babe? Gonna tell Wade how good I fuck this pussy? C’mon, tell him. Tell him how hard your squeeze my cock,”
Y/n hated his cock voice in her ear but loved it at the same time. He knew exactly how she’d like it. Maybe by her attitude, he knew she needed someone with the same energy to pound her.
“No c-chance,” the girl stuttered through her teeth as she tried glaring at the man, but her head instantly fell back after he gave one small pound, telling her to get rid of the attitude.
“You’re gonna do it eventually. Sluts like you can’t forget a good cock,” and he was right. This was going to be the best sed she’s had ever.
“Gonna go beggin’ Wade to come get me to fuck you. Shit, since I have to stay in the bullshit you call your world, I’ll just come over to your place myself. Burry my cock in this cunt till you pass out,”
“L-Logan,” y/n dug her nails into the man’s shoulders, trying to hold tight as her orgasm felt near. “Oh, you like that? Like the thought of a dirty old man fuckin’ this so-called clean pussy, hm? Gonna let me breed this little princess whenever I want? Even if I piss you off?”
“N-No, you fucking suck at this!” Y/n breathed heavily, keeping her orgasm together so she wouldn’t give him what she wanted.
“God, she’s fuckin’ petty,” Wade said as Logan let out a little chuckle. The man shifted in the van, lifting her legs over his shoulders before punching his right claw into the roof of the van.
Y/n jumped, not used to having a mutant like him around. “Don’t worry, princess. I wouldn’t hurt a pretty girl like you. Too valuable and tight,” Logan grabbed between the back of y/n’s head and neck to lift her to, fixing her to lean into him.
“Before I fuck you ass dumb, do you want to take anything you said back?” Logan looked down at the girl whose legs rested on his shoulder and cock grazed her entrance, waiting to be squeezed again.
“You fuck like a dead pig,” y/n spat. Right after, the man took one good slam into her, watching her legs part and scream. Logan pulled her head back up, making her look into his dark eyes.
“Loudmouth for a loud screamer,” the man smirked before moving his hips, thrusting into the girl with all the strength he had. He pulled her back to life whenever she tried pushing away or leaning her head back.
“Good fuckin’ pussy — Fuck! — Maybe I’ll excuse that bitch tone of yours,” the man couldn’t deny his could she felt and sounded.
Before, y/n thought she could hold herself in, but she knew Logan would get what he wanted in this new angle and harder pounding. He knew this from the start.
“C’mon, bub — I know you wanna cum. Keep squeezing around me like I wouldn’t notice,” he laughed at her. Teasing he. “N-Not cumming,” y/n assured the man, but even Wade didn’t believe her.
“I can see how the man has you in a full-on butter-salted pretzel position. You’re cumming, peanut,” Wade said, only egging Logan on knowing anyone who looked at her right now could tell she was close.
“No, I’m not!” Y/n pathetically whined. Logan leaned down to the girl's face, slightly touching her lips as his hot breath burned her nostrils.
“Don’t cum then, bub,” Logan said as he picked up his pace. “Don’t cum, and you win. You win your little bitch fight, and we can move on with our day,” Logan kept increasing.
“Don’t cum, and you’re right about my limp old dick,” Logan now growled. “Don’t cum, and I won’t come into your little home and eat that pussy,” y/n eyes rolled back as his hands dug into the back of her neck.
“Don’t cum, and I won’t fuck you like this every day to satisfy your needs, baby. Don’t cum, and I’ll have to leave this pretty little body alone forever,”
“Can’t breed it. Can’t kiss it. Can’t pound it. Can’t do anything I want to it,” y/n whined loudly at the man’s words, finally releasing the man’s cock.
“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. You need me. You fuckin’ want this old dick,” Logan’s lips crashed into her, kissing her roughly as she cried at the pace he kept ducking her in.
“Goddam, she cums a lot!” Wade said with excitement, loving the animal coming out of Logan. He knew y/n needed something like this in his life. That totally isn’t the reason why he brought her along.
“So fuckin’ good, baby. Best fuckin’ cunt I’ve fucked. So damn tight and sweet. Need you after all this. Needa have you with me forever,”
Y/n didn’t plan for this to happen. She doesn’t plan to let Logan fuck her like this in the back of Nicepools Honda Odyssey. She didn’t plan for Logan to form an attachment issue with her.
“Gonna cum, baby. Gonna fill this girl up. Gonna keep you with me forever. Can’t leave. Don’t care how old I am, you belong with me. You’re made for me. Pussy’s molded to only take my cock,”
Logan’s hips bucked a few times before he pushed all the way into the young girl, spilling into her with a loud animalistic groan.
The top of the roof was ripped with how many times his claws punched in and out of it. Logan’s fingers bruised the back of y/n’s neck. Her lips even have a small scratch from the hard he kissed. She tastes so fucking good.
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astrito · 1 year
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It's funny to think of Mercer being inmature and Kira being the opposite, when in retrospect it is very much the other way around.
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babyleostuff · 3 months
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calling them your boyfriend when you’re married | ot13
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[ ☁️] when you call them your husband version
warnings: generally gn!reader, but mention of "wife" and "girlfriend" with minghao
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𝜗𝜚 choi seungcheol
just… don’t do this. he would get offended as hell, probably would give you a whole ass silent treatment, being extra pissy and mean, like - HE’S YOUR HUSBAND, HE DIDN’T MARRY YOU FOR YOU TO GO AROUND AND CALL HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND!!! i mean, he kind of gets it that you said it as a joke to tease him, but it doesn’t make it any funnier for cheol, he’s like a lil puppy anytime you call him your husband, so don’t use the b-word around him, please. you’d really have to give him lots and lots of kisses and pouts for him to forgive you.
𝜗𝜚 yoon jeonghan
for some reason turns into a mum, and scolds you? “yah, i’m not your boyfriend anymore, why are you calling me that?” like, jeonghan would give you a whole ass lecture on why he does not want to be called “boyfriend”, and why you should only use the term “husband". he’d be extra petty too, if you asked him to help you with something he’d be like: “oh, so now you need your boyfriend’s help, hm?” and he would not let this go quickly, he’d make your life extra harder that day because he. is. not. your. boyfriend.
𝜗𝜚 joshua hong
takes this very personally because he's the epitome of husband material, and he didn’t marry you to be called “boyfriend” again??? he’d turn his sassy shua mode on, and become a whole ass drama queen because he does not want to be called the b-word - he’s literally right there, in his husband glory, ring on his ring finger with your wedding date engraved underneath, so why is he being called “boyfriend”, hm? so don’t expect shua to be all lovey dovey for the day, he’ll need some pampering to forgive you for the outrageous act of calling him your boyfriend.
𝜗𝜚 wen junhui
pookie is sad, don’t calm him “boyfriend”, please? jun wouldn’t be overly emotional over not being called “husband” a few times, it’s not like it would be the end of the world, but at the same time whenever you call him your boyfriend he feels a weak pang in his chest, almost as if his body physically reacts to the lack of “husband”. he would stare at you trying to convey his dear request of: “baby, i’m your husband, remember??? please call me husband???” the word husband coming form you is just very reassuring, and it makes him feel very loved. 
𝜗𝜚 kwon soonyoung
so so offended, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BOYFRIEND??? OH YEAH, SO THE RING ON YOUR FINGER IS WHAT??? JUST AN ACCESSORY??? AND THE WEDDING WAS JUST FOR FUN??? does not take the whole “boyfriend” calling lightly, being a husband is very serious for soonyoung AND HE WILL NOT TOLERATE THE B-WORD. Why would you even think of calling him your boyfriend, like we went from “boyfriend” to “fiance” to “husband” for a reason, SO LET’S NOT FORGET HOSHI’S YOUR HUBBY NOW!!!
𝜗𝜚 jeon wonwoo
at first he’s really taken aback because what do you mean “boyfriend”, you always refer to him as your husband ever since you got married (because duh - you’re married). would just kind of stare at you in confusion with question marks above his head, trying to figure out if you were actually talking about him, and why the hell you just called him your boyfriend. didn’t realise until a bit later how hurt ? he felt when he figured you were seriously talking about him, which was so weird because he used to love when you called him your boyfriend in the past, so what changed? (marriage happened you simp, he just adores it when you call him your husband).
𝜗𝜚 lee jihoon
would just roll his eyes, because he’s not the one to fall for your jokes. he knows that there is no way you’d call him anything but your husband if it wasn’t for a prank, so you wouldn’t get a big reaction out of jihoon. would just give you head pats and nod his head saying “whatever you want baby”. BUT, deep inside he’s crying. being your husband is one of woozi's biggest blessings, so hearing the word “boyfriend” when you are in fact married is a bit of a no no.
𝜗𝜚 lee seokmin
don’t call him boyfriend??? don’t break his heart??? why would you do this??? would immediately assume you’re unhappy in your marriage because why is he suddenly reduced to “boyfriend”? seokmin would stare at you with big (and sad) puppy eyes until you wouldn’t have explained why you used the forbidden b-word, because there is no way he would move on from that without hearing a proper explanation (and a proper apology). he just really really loves being your husband and being called “husband” - there’s just something magical about it, he loves hearing that word from you.
𝜗𝜚 kim mingyu
at first he wouldn’t pay much attention, because he’s not “boyfriend” anymore - he’s “husband” *cue in a proud mingoo smile*, so he thinks you’re talking about someone else? but then… WHO ARE YOU CALLING BOYFRIEND??? turns into a sulky and whiny mess, because “babyyyy, i’m your husband remember?” would follow you around and just whine, oh my god, it’d be so annoying you’d immediately regret calling him anything except “my dearest, loveliest, most precious husband” because how can a grown man sulk like that? over something you said as a joke. he would go on a whole ass rant about your engagement and the wedding to make a point i guess? as if he was trying to remind you that you’re in fact married.
𝜗𝜚 xu minghao
okay, then no more “wife” for you. would make sure to go around and tell everyone about his “girlfriend”, loud enough for you to hear. hao treasures his “husband” status very dearly, so when you suddenly start calling him your boyfriend he’s having none of that, thus will tease you right back, because he knows how you always go low-key crazy over him calling you his wife. your hubby is just so so petty he won’t forget this one quickly, and he’d want you to beg for him to stop, because as much as he wants to tease you back it truly breaks his hear hearing the b-word from you.
𝜗𝜚 boo seungkwan
would throw a tantrum because he’s dramatic like that. he takes his role as your husband very seriously, so you calling him “boyfriend”? not happening. the second seungkwan hears the b-word that he used to love so much (now he hates it because HE’S YOUR HUSBAND) he gives you the silent treatment in the pettiest way possible, which is funny because his clingy nature doesn not allow for him to ignore people, especially not you. and when he sees you struggling with unscrewing the cap from the water bottle he literally has to walk out of the room and lock himself in the bathroom so he wouldn’t walk up to you and help you. 
𝜗𝜚 vernon chwe
it’s not that he doesn’t care, because he does, but at the same time he’s fairly fine with anything you call him as long as you put “mine (insert name)” before it. of course he loves it when you refer to him as your husband, but he wouldn’t throw a tantrum just because you called him “boyfriend” once or twice. as i said, as long as you call him “yours” it’s all good (it makes him shy as hell, and him blushing is guaranteed, but it’s such a nice, silent way of saying how much you love him).
𝜗𝜚 lee chan
sad, sad, sad. don’t break his heart like that - “what do you mean boyfriend?” he wouldn’t outwardly mention how sad he got over you calling him your boyfriend instead of husband, but ohmygod it’d be so visible, chan would look like a puppy who was just denied a treat, it’d be so so adorable if not for the heartbreaking pout. there’s just something about you calling him your husband, and hearing those words coming from your mouth that always make him so happy that suddenly hearing “boyfriend” would be so upsetting.
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louebel · 1 year
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[ " 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆! " ] — 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): luffy, robin, law, sanji, kidd × gn!reader 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: not proofread 'n quick, lots of fluff! they are all babies. (i KNOW kidd's crew raid fashion stores and complain about them if they're lackin. if. if there's a fic like that pls share in the comments. i BEG you.) also some swearing with kidd!! dripping divider by @ benkeibear like always,, i live for these dividers damn.
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𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐘 𝐃. 𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐘
"you too!!"
you swear his smile widens so much his face is stuck that way.
he is adorable. he smiles every day but hearing you say that? it's exactly what he wants!! he wants people to look at him smiling AND wants them smiling in the process (continuous cycle,,)
it's so easy to notice just how much he loves you saying that. round cheeks tinted pink, eyes shut, and set of teeth shared to the world. he is always so animated with everything he does, and this is no exception.
this little rubber man is immediately engulfing you in his arms!! you are not allowed to leave until he says so.
"i'm gonna make you smile too! forever! that way, we'll both look cute when we smile! shishishi!"
scratch protecting him at all costs. he's gonna protect you at all costs.
if you tell him again, grab his cheeks and shake him as if he were a pupper. if he had a tail it'd be wagging 'till he flies. will probably make all types of noises while you do it.
pat the boi.
𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐎 𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍
her smile might be tender but she's giggling internally,, she's flattered!!
"is that so? i'm glad to hear that."
robin gained confidence growing up and she knew she was a gorgeous woman — but hearing it from your lips is still a surprise. sure, she gets compliments on the daily, especially by sanji, but... yours felt much more intimate. she's not blushing because she's flustered or anything, it's just because she loves you. and that comforting warmth in her chest propagated to her neck and face.
it's small moments such as this that remind her of saul's words. each day on the sunny is a reminder, but the little things reinforce those feelings. it was such a wonderful sentiment.
you had no idea what she was thinking about, but the way the corners of her lips eased, your heart jumped too.
she really did look cute while smiling.
"you look pretty, too. smile more often, dear."
she's so lucky to have you. and you're so lucky to have her.
𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐆𝐀𝐑 𝐃. 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐀𝐖
dies
you think he looks... cute?
his eyes widen and he just. stops functioning for a moment. his heart feels lighter and funnier than normal, and his smile returns, a bit more timid than before.
"... really?"
"of course!"
he doesn't even believe it— he did notice from time to time how you suddenly just,, softened when he did it but he didn't think you'd like it that much. he doesn't smile a lot, sure there are definitely various moments where he feels at peace with the crew, but they come easier with you
when he showed you his coin collection, when you both took a stroll or when you simply cuddled. law might look scary to those outside — but inside, he is still the small boy whose curiosity shined above all. he is very fond of those he cares about, even if he has trouble expressing his emotions and thoughts to others. the confidence he wore doubled for you and his loyal crewmates, but he deserved rest every once in a while. years of trauma dulled him, however, when he felt something, it was strong; almost as if breaking out of a cage. he kept them deep inside, only to burst and even tremble when he was pampered. he didn't know how to react, and only with time would he grow used to it.
so,, please be patient and take care of him,, he looks after himself with everything else, but he's a lost puppy with love and physical affection. if it doesn't show on his face, his heart definitely speeds up at every small thing you tell him, casual or not.
"thank you."
you see him smile a bit more now. give him any type of compliment, affection, or anything,, and the "cold" surgeon of death will be nothing but putty in your hands.
"and... you too."
he really does love you.
𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈
dies 2.0
"o- oh... my love! you look adorable smiling, too!"
never-ending swarm of compliments. oh and he's hugging you as if his life depends on it.
he's not really used to the sweet words and might think he's undeserving of them. sure, it's a simple smile... but that's exactly why it gets him so much. something so mundane and common yet you see a unique beauty in his and his alone. others can warm your heart too, but he does it in a different way — in a special way.
if you tell him this in the middle of the night and you're both having a calm and peaceful moment he might cry. (if it's daytime and he's feeling a lil sensitive it's tears of joy mixed with laughter,, please hold him)
he's so happy. he'll smile as much as you want him too. if that gets you to do so too, it's a win-win for everyone!
it's usually clear when he feels affectionate,, he is most of the time. but now it DOUBLES. that comment made his day.
he's so giddy and adorable.
"you light my world up, mon rayon de soleil. if i can do so too with a simple smile... then i shall every day."
𝐄𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐃
mf's smile never dropped so fast.
"the fuck do you mean CUTE??"
was about to throw a fit but then he just. stares at you. so genuine...
"why you lookin' at me like that?? stop. 'm not fuckin' cute."
staaaare...
"... zero point one percent cute. happy? now stop looking like a goddamn puppy."
but you end up smiling even more. and no matter what he thought, his heart still beat a little faster. you looked pretty cute, too.
yes. he's a bit mean sometimes but you know he means well. he's your little man. like, he made you a tiny metal butterfly once so that even if he was busy with designing and crafting you had something to remind you of him. (he sputtered profanities and became as red as his hair before storming off walking in a wall but he still peeked from a corner to see if you liked it. when he saw your pleased expression, he smirked like the lil shit he is.)
plus... deep inside, he appreciated it. you and killer always managed to calm him down.
he truly is grateful.
"urgh. c'mere. let's go get killer 'n the others to raid a store."
...
bonus after the raid: he does your makeup and uses a great lipstick he stole found to really make you pop with the looted new clothes he got for you. hyped you up and grinned like an idiot. he's doing your nails next. killer gave you a thumbs up before finding more products himself,, raiding stores sure is fun!
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sonicman66 · 11 months
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It happened agaaaaaain
Dpxdc (mostly batman but y'all know the drill)
Danny reveal goes bad, as it sometimes does. Your decision if its a Permanent or Temporary bad result, but either way he takes off and ends up in Gotham. In the midst of getting himself settled (finalizing his new identity if he has one, pulling his emergency funds, etc.) he looks for a job, something that won't look Too Deeply into this malnourished teen with Iffy papers, no references, clearly not a local applying.
And finds work under one Oswald C. Cobblepot, who takes pity on the lad and gives him a job. Kid is either too young to mix drinks or doesn't know how, he's a bit too raggedy to be a waiter or a server, and pity doesn't mean he trusts the kid enough to let him do any of the important work, and the kid does not seem suitable for hench work. So he makes him the janitor.
The Bats catch word that Cobblepot has a new employee, and naturally they get curious, even if Penguin is on a legit streak or not, bc the new hire has obviously faked papers.
Meanwhile Penguin is happy as a clam. The new kid is great at his job, leaves the place lookin spotless, and doesn't ask any questions about suspicious stains or weird trash (besides 'where's the bleach' and 'is this hazmat or just garbage?')
Until one day, in the middle of his cleaning, Danny walks into a previously spotless room to find it slightly messed, with a shadowed figure hunching over a computer, clearly looking through files.
At this point i can't decide which way to take this is funnier.
A: Danny walks up and knocks the intruder unconscious. Calls his boss up and asks what the protocol is for a knocked out Batman in the records room.
B: Danny just huffs from the doorway. 'Dude. Seriously? I just cleaned this place.' The Bat doesn't startle, but Danny does find himself staring at the business of a batarang with Batman looming over him. Gets an impromptu interrogation like 'Why are you working for the Penguin?' 'Because he pays in cash, which i require for goods and services?' 'What do you know about his operations?' 'Jack shit, i'm a janitor.'
Or C: Batman stares at Danny. Danny stares at Batman. Danny scowls. 'I'm going to shut this door. When I come back in five minutes, this room better be as clean as it was before you came in. Got it?' Then steps out without waiting for a response. Heads out, calls Oswald and asks what the protocol is for encountering a Bat or Bird on the premises.
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