#i just like having emotions and wizards
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When you're the emperor of an entire nation and undoubtably have countless very important things to do...
...but you instead drive over to your friend's estate deep in the mountains to surprise him, just to be a normal person for a little while.
(Aka he's hiding out so he can nap in the arboretum for a couple days.)
#ffxiv#sketch#emet selch#solus zos galvus#oc#atticus van simularus#tsukiko and amako are there too just very... very tiny#poor atticus not realizing he's essentially getting affectionally garlean head bonked -by a god-#has to put up with the magical ascian bullshittery emet is capable of- not limited to this old man suddenly getting random bursts of energy#I will always love the concept of emet accidently getting way too into character or attached and it biting him on the ass#old evil not-wizard visits his longest living henchman#discovers henchman now has a pair of twins that he considers his children#has to go through the emotional whiplash of 'hehe i am a godfather now -> wtf am I even thinking'#tsukiko also gets to have the heart attack a year later that the old man she's been nonchalantly talking to is the god damn -emperor-#to her for a very long time he was just the weird old man that would nap under their willow tree all day aka âmr.galvusâ#I always write and draw emet and atticus' dynamic together so happy but damn does their story make me so sad#regent basically has to beg atticus not to look into who emet-selch was because he knows it would basically destroy him#and like how I write him and emet- regent also accidently got way too attached to someone who was initially just a stepping stone
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once again consulting my perpetually open google search for synonyms of "serious" as i attempt to resist the voices in my head
#like theyâre trying to have an emotional discussion#i canât bring myself to make the sirius joke in this context#is this just a me problem?#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black#marauders#marauders fandom#ao3#ao3 fanfic#dead gay wizards#wolfstar fic
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i really would love to write gelphie fanfiction but i can't get past the image of elphaba adopting dorothy which frankly is not a premise that makes any sense at all
#sure i guess in AU land but frankly i want it to be canonverse. dorothy shows up to her castle and elphaba forgives her for the shoes#she feeds her and her friends dinner and tells her about the wizard and lets her rest for the first time since coming to oz#idk man. i don't know how the themes line up here. i'm just thinking about the inner child. and Black dorothy i'm thinking a lot about her#man!! let someone look at elphaba as a role model huh!! especially dorothy bc she's an outsider and she's capable of it#elphaba isn't any stranger to her than a talking scarecrow or women in bubbles#it's kinda hard to concieve of dorothy as a girl from the dust bowl era midwest. we have very little in common#i have no idea what it was like to live in that time or place. it would make it hard to write her and pick out an emotional core#but surely there's SOMETHING that she and elphaba have in common thematically. surely#honestly the biggest logistical problem with this au is boq but frankly fuck boq anyway. asshole#sb and l rambles#sb and l is writing#wicked#the wizard of oz#wicked ideas#dorothy gale#elphaba thropp
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Hi
hello!!!! you did not ask but iâve been getting emotional recently about hogwartsâŚ. jen said âheart of wizarding britainâ and yeah oh my god it makes me fucking crazy. like. imagine youâve just been through a year of all-out war. everyone you know is fighting for their lives or in hiding or dead and you donât know whoâs alive and you havenât spoken to anyone bc you donât know who you can trust but you get word that the final battle is happening. and not only that but itâs happening at hogwarts. and hogwarts is a place that was always safe and holds so many happy memories and is HOME for so many people and now itâs under attack and so you go, maybe not even necessarily bc you particularly support either side but bc itâs HOGWARTS and hogwarts is HOME and so much love and the crux of so many peopleâs lives and you just have to go and help where you can. the thought of people piling through that tunnel from the hogâs head makes me fucking insane. like the amount of love in that room. the reunions. the people you thought youâd never see again. and youâre all there joined together to defend the place where you met, where you grew up together, where you became the people that you are today. and maybe youâll die but hogwarts is home. you couldnât possibly let it go down without a fight.
iâve also been thinking about the death eaters who are there ATTACKING the castle. and maybe some of them called it home as wellâŚ. like even tom called it home at one point in time and although heâs way too far gone by that point and his memories were probs kinda soured anyway by dumbledore etc there must be some of his death eaters for whom hogwarts was always safety when they were students but now theyâre THREATENING that safety. tainting those memories. like do you guys think they felt remorse??? guilt??? horror??? idk itâs just so interesting to me. the fact that the war proper starts (w dumbledoreâs death) and ends at hogwarts. itâs really the centre of everything. even without taking the war into consideration itâs the centre of everything. it makes me CRAAAZY
#asks <3#okay iâll admit it iâve been drinking but jen and i were texting about this earlier today and it can get me emotional even while stone cold#sober. itâs just. fucking insane#like itâs just the heart of wizarding britainâŚ. and thatâs why itâs so fucking horrible when the death eaters take over as well#like i also get so emotional thinking about hogwarts under snape and the carrows. and the resistance there as well#hogwarts is meant to be safetyyyy itâs meant to be homeeee and imagine itâs all you have. imagine itâs literally the only place youâve ever#felt safe and now people are getting tortured within its wallsâŚ. now people are going missing and youâre being watched constantly and#hogwarts is meant to be homeeee but how can it be when itâs got this poison inside it#god itâs crazy to me#i need to read a fic i miss it#sorry for incoherent rambling xoxoxo
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headcannon that sirius black never cries. he gets angry and he yells and smashes things. his magic flies out of control and he says the most hurtful things. but no matter what happens, remus has never seen him cry.
and then one day the daily prophet announces that regulus black has died. and for the first time in eight years of knowing him, remus watches sirius breakdown and sob on their kitchen floor.
#this is not well written pls send help#regulus black#sirius black#the black brothers#wolfstar#sirius and regulus#these guys make me sad#iâm procrastinating again and of course itâs these idiots whoâre contaminating my mind#but yknow how young wizards canât control their magic?#that still happens for sirius#bc he never learnt to fully process his emotions so he still loses control like that#has smashed multiple light bulbs#someone help him#but yea#reggieâs death broke him#and iâll stand by that#and i donât think remus would have understood#like heâd have been supportive the whole way through#but yea it just doesnât make sense#yknow what i mean?#i love these guys
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of course lol
#i already have my halloween costume for this year but i saw this and thought it was funny#since i dressed up as her last year lmfao#i actually just got my costume today#thank you to the guy my friends and i met at a bar last night who paid for half of our tab because the amount of money i spent at the#halloween store today is insane#being a pisces is so funny because itâs like the most predictable sign#especially when it comes to movies and things like that#it will always be something associated with water (the little mermaid or titanic etc)#or dreams (sleeping beauty or a nightmare on elm street or the wizard of oz etc)#or movies with very emotional characters (carrie etc)#personal
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I went to a little pottery festival in a small town close to mine this morning, and I obviously understand I'm a visually alt/queer looking person living in the deep south. Yes. I get that. But the whole time I felt like a horrible fart everyone was desperately trying to pretend they didn't smell. I had a lovely conversation with a Spanish lady I bought a mug from, but many of the vendors desperately avoided my eye contact, and a few flat out ignored me. Which is baffling, do you even want my money?? my scary gay money?
#these feelings are compounded on by the fact ive been feeling awkward about how i move through the world lately so im probably more#emotional about it than usual (most of the time i try to harness âif you cant stand looking at me pluck out your eyes!!!) but it makes me#feel very excluded đ#on a brighter note i did get an amazingly soft dark umber corduroy shirt and the lady was sooooooooooo sweet and we had a great#conversation and i got two very delicious (and overpriced) tacos. so i think thats a good day reguardless.#also last thing an insanely elderly man infront of a shop exclusively about baby dolls said to me âyou look like youre handing out moneyâ#and i have no idea what the hell that means!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what!!! he croaked it at me and i just went âwell im just looking aroundâ#anyways who knows. may have been an evil wizards curse#goober.txt
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I love Ceren Nightchant but the thing that confuses me about him is that whenever I say "Ceren Nightchant" I don't know WHICH one I'm talking about. Like of course there is no other Ceren, but after the tutorial update he was the only character that got a personality upgrade so major it's as if Ceren WAS two completely different people. Like if someone came up to me and said "Actually his name is Schmeren and he's Ceren's younger brother they just typed in his name wrong during the update" that would actually be believable because of how DIFFERENT the personality shift was
AND THIS ISN'T A BAD THING in fact I think I actually like New "Anti Skeleton Pirate" Ceren Nightchant better than the old one IN REGARDS TO HIS NEW PERSONALITY!!! Like I will always have a special love for Old "Greetings :)" Ceren Nightchant but that's only because of Nostalgia and completely untrue facts about him I made up in my head. Unfortunately pre-update Ceren Nightchant doesn't have that much going for him in terms of how interesting he is in comparison to the new one where they gave us like a whole heaping plate of characterization and nuance to his character
With Malorn it's different because he actually has a backstory. Like he's Important to the lore. He doesn't have like any screentime but just his story ALONE is enough to spin off completely into new exciting territory; we don't NEED anything else to hook us in because Malorn already has a hook, his relationships with his fellow teachers and students + his status as a powerful Necromancer + Malistaire's legacy affecting him.
Meanwhile Ceren Nightchant was a blank slate. We know he was in Unicorn Way for some reason despite not living there, not being a trained guard in handling the Twilight Zone situation, he was Just There and I think that's the only One Single Thing that was interesting about him.
And even though that still technically is the case with the new Ceren, LOOK AT HOW HE IS NOW. He's a CLOWN, a kind, happy, ridiculously powerful and intelligent clown who has a weird intolerance for undead pillagers and seems to get along great with our character!!! That's not like, groundbreaking lore like with Malorn or even Duncan, but idk there's just something so fresh and funny and exciting about this new bouncy iteration of a character we've known nothing about for like the past 20 years
So like in terms of nostalgia and personal headcanons, Greetings Nightchant will always be special to me but in terms of like being an actual character with more of a role in the story and a fresher dynamic with the characters around him, SkeLeTaL pIrAtEs Nightchant will be no. 1 for me
#like old ceren nightchant talks to us and thats it. he says hello and good luck and we never see him again#new ceren is apparently good friend with the unicorn way lady and is actually somewhat of a skilled tactician and fighter#(from what ive seen. its been like 6 years since ive played the game so i could be wrong)#but like new ceren is more like cemented in the story more than old ceren if that makes sense#new ceren actually talks to people. he has a place in the story and he moves it along. he's useful to the plot and he belongs there#old ceren doesnt feel like that to me imo. he feels like a spectre just floating in the plot to offer us ominous advice for a sec#hes just like too detached for me. like if you took old ceren out of the original script nothing would change#he doesnt have any impact on us or anything storywise. he's just kinda there#AND THATS FINE IM NOT DISSING ON OLD CEREN. HE'S COOL JUST KINDA USELESS#new ceren feels more like a friend of the wizard's and is easier to bond with because he actually has emotions#i still dont actually know which one i refer to when i say 'ceren nightchant' cuz its still confusing#im used to old ceren more but i like new ceren more so im like '???????'#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#ceren nightchant
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Tough day rambles
In a world with a different setting id be a prophet or a person with cool visions, id be a person worthy of protection and trust and friendship. Here im just paranoid and i worry about the wrong things. Somewhere else when i dance on my way to a shop everyone thinks im full of joy and whimsy and they dont think im drunk or childish. Somewhere else i can be around people for more than 5 hours before i shut down for the rest of the day. Somewhere else i dont remind everyone im stupid and dumb and i dont describe everything i do and feel as "slight" and "little" and "a bit", im able to love romantically and dream of tenderness and give it and recieve it. Idk i just hate myself a lot.
#period moment#im unable of feeling any positive emotion currently#but its true i am worthless#i always promise myself i wont enter new fandoms because in the end theyre just reminders of how ill never be cool and enough etc#i wish i had a confirmation that im not that bad#old man journalist who came to our uni said oooh i thought you were american with your accent and how much u use the word 'like'#i told him my vocabulary is just really really bad and he laughed but yeah omg what a way to tell me im dumb#and also guy from class texting me transphobic pro trump stuff just cause he wants me to give him arguments against what he says#why#just why#and im bad at german#and i havent started writing my article even tho i have over a month to do it#and i dont understand in between wars economics in germany#and i cant write my coalecroux and theres no point of continuing there are much better writers#everything i do is wrong and i dont understand what i should understand#disgusting uh i feel disgusting#my mom told me that her boyfriend got a âbeautifulâ christmas gift for me#dude why WHY would you buy me things that can be described as beautiful#i hate christmas#i just want to be somewhere else in a different world#i want to be in avantris i want to use magic i dont want to be human#i wish i was older because maybe when youre like 27 your opinions and feelings matter#but im over here rocking back and forth and sucking on a necklace like a fucking baby watching wizard of oz#how do you stop hating yourself i dont get it#i dont fuckinf understand anything#everything is clouded with my desire to be dead or somewhere else and its been like this for a decade i just want it to stop#goodnight i hope i dont fucking wake up i hope my cat scratches my stomach open and eats my body so im useful for something
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JK Rowling go fuck yourself and crawl back under your rock
#STOP WATCHING HER SHIT. STOP SUPPORTING HER SHIT. SHE JUST DROPPED 70K TOWARDS FWS#COME ON. YOU CAN DROP THE WIZARD BOOKS. YOU CAN. I DONT CARE ANYMORE.#i hate this shit. yes this is an emotional response. but im fucking TIRED of seeing the little bit of trans acceptance and rights that we h#that we have. be slowly eroded. by people like rowling who use bullshit rhetoric and fake data to demonise trans folk ESPECIALLY TRANSWOMEN
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okay yeah emotions machine Definitely Fucked bc i also started thinking too hard about having friends and i
#jackals barks#'why are you here' 'i dont usually have Emotions and now i am so something has gone Horribly Wrong'#HF no but i always feel like i am bad at Being A Friend bc. a) sometimes can't tell if we're friends or Friendly b) i have. the hardest time#like. Maintaining Friendships. bc i get burned out and anxious So Stupidly Fast an want to reflexively isolate in The Hole#(which starts like The Guilt Spiral that i am definitely working on + a brain wizard will have a field day with)#but yall are sweet and wanna stay being friends that its just compressed cat crying gif
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Honestly i really do know im being annoying with this but the logistics of swapping out Avon and Raistlin and watching what theh do is the greatest form of Playing With Dolls I've ever ever had. Its a serotonin treadmill. You've heard of watching a brilliant, dark tortured genius asshole slowly create his own downfall what about landing in the middle of such a slipperyslope and starting to turn it into an entirely different one. AND THERE'S PVP ALLOWED, one of my main options rn is Avon-as-Raistlin starts planning how to re-open the connection and either undo this or pass some more things between the worlds- and Raistlin-as-Avon is like FINDERS KEEPERS BITCH. Paying It (The Lichdom Curse) Forewards, im staying in your life and im winning at it, fuck off. And Avon's like, ex-fucking-scuse me?
#what if. in this route avon is repoening the connection through magic raist-as-avon is gonna start regaining the capscity for magic too.#and it can be a Metaphysical Wizard Duel AND like an emotional climax whhen their parties catch up#and like. avon coming back for his friends carried on a storm. the fact that despite dverything he would fight for it-#even if hes doing it for an Incredibly Specific Way he wants to benefit power from merging both worlds that STILL a level of#coming back for his friends and lives and such yknow. its gonna affect them.#and raistlin possibly seeing caramon again-#i dont think avon would be as desperate to strike out on his own thats a raist psychological thing-#and maybe trying to appeal through the barrier like. hey! if you want what's good for me. GET HIS ASS. I want to stay here!#and that classic kind of tension between them. caramon wanrs his brother back and raistlin thinking of it as caramon wanting him Weak#and Dependant on his protection. the whole aspect of like body and strength swap is very. interesting and a bit#yuck politically but thats part of the fun. this isnt a cure narrative this is game of thrines musical chairs over resources-#the bodies the magic the many differences in Circumstances that seperate the two wars-#not just genre but straight up strategical details. the privileges of space age comforts vs having an almost even chance at victory. etc et#YOU SEE ME. IM HAVING FUNNNNN#THIS IS SO FUN. IT SHOULD BE A NOVELLA LENGTH ZINE FROM THE 90S UNFORTUNATELY ITS JUST ME IN MY HEAD. BUT#cally can probably sense something is wrong from the start. mentally....#the grudging respect raist would have for blake vs unlike avon he is entirely capable of backstabbing the hell out of them all.#avon would find the Expanded DL Party loud and weirdly social and annoying and pass off as raist through that easily#but also just. as i said i think he's way less likely to actually Act to further only himself like raist would#especially as Not Native to this setting like. no use aloanating possible resources. hes just gonna steer them All As A Group towards#paths of survival and advantage in the war that are Also to his personal magic based benefits i think#im having FUN#yknow what i might make this my Pinned. im Going Through A Moment.#dragons of the sad embezzler
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i need to know about your monster high x winx idea with helia !! & about any other monster types for the other characters that you have floating around in your head !!
AHHHHHHHHHH DUDE THANK YOU
okay so usually when i see winx x monster high aus with the winx characters as monsters, more often than not, helia is usually designed as a vampire. AND LISTEN. i LOVE vampire helia i'm a huge vampire helia enjoyer he's always in my brain i'd give him my first born etcetc
However, because so many people immediately go vampire with him, people often ignore other monster types that could still work! LIKE. GHOST HELIA!!!!! Hear Me Out. he's sexy. case and point.
ajdhg but actually while i do really like vampire helia for a multitude of reasons and i do think it makes sense aesthetically and personality wise, i feel like ghost helia is SO good and so underappreciated!! like i have an entire au idea for this Please imagine victorian era immigrant helia dying after protecting his grandfather from idk fucking robbers or something ajdhg it's so choice!! it brings together his aesthetic, his personality, and his choices about red fountain! it also really brings out his more haunted/tragic/depressed vibes that vampire helia doesn't always do (really depends on the design and what part of his personality they're focusing on tbf).
i just,,, ghost helia <333 he has my entire heart <3
but also!! for the other characters, aisha is obviously a saltwater sea monster! it's hard to pick between fire elemental and dragon for bloom... but deity could also work for her since the dragon is like,, canonically a deity so? idkidkidk maybe she could be a hybrid! i usually see people design tecna as a robot but i really like the half robot/half human or monster idea for her more! i feel like it fits her inner troubles a lot! flora is definitely a plant monster but i could also see her being nature elemental! musa,,, is so hard for me because there aren't a lot of music focused monsters in mh,, like do we go with phantom? i kinda like the idea of her being a gargoyle but like,,, idk man,,,,, i like light elemental stella personally but vampire stella is also pretty choice!!
for timmy, i kind of like the idea of him being an invisible! i feel like timmy doesn't really give strong monster vibes so like Maybe he could be human or half human, but i feel like being an invisible would actually work well with him since a lot of his doubts and fears have to do with the others not noticing him/ignoring him/etc. sky is definitely a vampire. the whole blonde rich royal thing like cmonnn. i honestly really like the idea of sky and brandon being the same monster type as a call back to the switch but i feel like,,, half vampire half werewolf brandon is SO GOOD. it's a very direct this guy has to choose between royal duties and commoner life situation and i love it so much. riven being a fire elemental is interesting to me,, i feel like it also matches his hair algd
#daphne is a nymph obviously#diaspro being an emotional vampire would be really cool!#i feel like people ignore ghost helia in favor of ghost nabu which i understand but also hate#the whole reducing the brown boy to his death thing is not my favorite genre of fandom racism#especially since magicians is a recognized canon monster type in mh#like just make him magic its literally fine#he can be a wizard !!! let him be a wizard!!!#anyway#ghost helia my beloved <3#he's just so good <3#answered#thank you for asking <3 i love ghost helia so much </3#i may or may not have some design doodles of ghost helia </3 and an angsty fic au in my head </3 i have ghost helia brain rot </3
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on the one hand I think an interesting direction to take melliwyk getting increasingly stressed and overtaxed and frantic would be for her behavior become increasingly careless and reckless, but the problem is that a part of why she's been Like This is that I don't want any of the Important Things she's trying to figure out to spin out of control
#the stakes are high enough that I'M too stressed about fucking things up to play too much into 'she's cracking under pressure' :')#justin got to play out zhartook struggling to process trauma with a really narratively cool PC-and-DM-controlled Loss Of Control#in the form of tying his first circle of the moon elemental wildshape to an uncontrolled emotional response#for melliwyk there isn't anything really Like That? I guess I could work with the DM to script a longer sleep incident but#that's not really the same-- for one thing zhartook becoming an uncontrolled fire elemental was An Encounter; both solvable and over quickly#for another thing melliwyk sometimes not being able to be awakened for longer stretches of time is a known possibility#(the mechanics behind the premise that if I ever couldn't make a session my character could just be asleep the whole time)#it's not CLEARLY tied to stress and it's not really actionable on my part or the party's#in theory-- or in a scripted show or written story-- it would be a chance for the party to pick up for her#after which she realizes she really doesn't have to put so much on just herself without asking for help#in PRACTICE I feel like it would just be really annoying for everyone lol#I dunno! she's definitely pushed herself more and slept less#but again I as a player don't wanna push 'your wizard isn't long resting' too far either :') not really fair to everyone else...#there's a necronomicon that's probably cursed but the benefits of attuning to it anyway aren't extremely clear?#I MEAN it definitely HAS benefits but they're not anything urgently useful right now#alas I continue not to be creative or intelligent enough to roleplay a chaotic wizard gnome#about me#my OCs#melliwyk
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Today is going great
đđź
#autism & adhd really do be like this#fanfiction#I swear I do things besides complain lmao#and yet HERE I GO AGAIN#time to put on an FB film in the background & try to use it to trick me into feeling like I wanna do what i have to do#itâs not that I donât like research#I just donât give AF about this class#but I unfortunately have to#bc itâs my last one#and I must get a B in order to move on to dissertation#literally the American doctoral system is wild tho#ANYWAY#Once I make it through this hell everybodyâs getting Newtina fluff#theseus & newt vulnerability#emotional and physical hurt/comfort#replete with wizarding inventions and my convoluted plots so#hdkaldbfwiksjd#so close#uefb rambles in the tags#not fb#technically
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HOW ON EARTH DID THE TARGET AUDIANCE REACT TO RYUKI'S FINALE
i have no idea honestly, maybe someone else does? but i can tell you if i watched that at age 6 i'd be....wow i don't think i could handle that lmaoooooooo like as an ADULT i can appreciate it i think it's a very good, beautiful bittersweet ending, but at age target audience? i honestly have no idea.
#i frankly cannot imagine watching most kamen riders at target age#fourze sure#ex-aid/drive/wizard probably would have been okay#i would NOT understand kiva/kabuto/decade no way#i think build/w/ooo would have ended up upsetting me actually out of too much emotions?#and den-o confused me as an adult already lmaoooo me and time travel are just like ????????
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