#i just like doing it because it brings me joy
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starless-nightz · 2 days ago
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Remember me
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note -> ACT 3 SPOILERS!!! I am NOT okay!
parts -> part one | [part two]
pairing -> Jinx X fem! reader, platonic! Isha X fem! reader
summary -> You will always remember them.
warnings -> mentions of death.
content includes -> angst, death, suicidal thoughts, Vi and Ekko appear.
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Life with Jinx and Isha felt perfect in a way you never thought possible.
The three of you spent most of your days hidden away in your workshop or Jinxs lair because of her wanted status. But you never minded it. If anything, you cherished the quiet moments the three of you shared.
Your days together were filled with laughter and creativity—tinkering with inventions, sketching out wild ideas, and playing games that felt like they belonged in a world far kinder than Zaun.
On rare occasions, you’d venture out into the Undercity together, blending into its chaos and finding moments of joy in its grim corners.
And at night, when everything settled, you’d find yourself lying between them. Isha’s small frame curled up beside Jinx, and Jinx’s breath soft, her head laying on your shoulder.
You’d look at them, the two people who had somehow become your entire world, and feel a warmth in your chest.
In those moments, you let yourself believe it could last. That the three of you could stay like this forever—safe, whole, and happy.
But Zaun isn't a place for dreams.
And you were wrong.
You were so, so wrong.
————
It all happened so fast.
In one moment you were fighting alongside Jinx and in the next Isha was running towards Vander, Jinxs gun held tightly in her small hands.
You knew what she was going to do as she put two more hextech gemstones in the gun, and Jinx knew it very well too.
You two tried to get to her, calling out her name, trying to stop her from doing it, but you two were stopped by Vi, pulling you both back as you two despreatly called for the little girl.
The only thing you could do in that moment was watch as Isha shot a finger gun at you two before firing the real gun upwards, closing her eyes, feeling at peace knowing she was protecting you two.
And your world slowly started shattering into tiny pieces.
————
You knew you couldn't do anything.
You know you couldn't save her.
Jinx has already accepted her fate a long time ago, she wasn't scared of death and she made peace with it.
"Always with you sis." Jinx said as Vi tried to pull her up. Jinx quickly removed the hextech gemstone from Vis gauntlets, making them power off and letting Jinx go.
Jinx looked at you with a small smile on her face as she started fallling. You screamed her name as you watched her fall before an explosion went off.
And in that moment your whole world shattered into tiny pieces.
————
"Is there anything so undoing as a family?" you whispered, your words barely audible over the soft hum of Piltover below.
Your knees were brought up close to your chest, arms wrapped tight around them as your fingers absently traced the jagged edges of the bomb's shattered metal head of the bomb that had taken her life.
Vi and Ekko sat beside you in silence, their gazes fixed on the distant glow of the city. Neither of them said a word, and you couldn't bring yourself to fill the void.
They didn't know you well, not really; just a shared face in their grief, a faint reflection of their own shattered hearts. But in this moment, words didn't matter.
Each one of you had lost the most significant person in your life that day. A single point of light went out in a way that no amount of tears, anger, or revenge would ever balance.
Jinx was gone.
And nothing would ever bring her back.
————
You knew your couldn't bring Jinx and Isha back, you know that the hole in your heart will never disappear.
You stood in Jinxs destroyed lair, holding onto one of her explosions as you looked down into the abyss.
You didn't want to live anymore, there was no reason for you to be alive. The only two people that made your life worth living for were gone, and you couldn't bring them back.
You wanted to end your life.
But before you could leap from the ledge a voice stopped you, making your ears perk up.
"Whatcha doing, toots?"
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4linos · 2 days ago
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asking skz to tie a ribbon around their bicep
ot8 stray kids x gn!reader
request: Asking the ot8 boys to tie a ribbon around their biceps
wc: 4172 (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)
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a/n: not proofread 🙂‍↔️.
bang chan
You were at the gym, watching Chan move through his usual routine. His biceps were flexing with each rep, and you couldn't help but appreciate the effort he put into his workout. Your eyes kept drifting back to his muscles, and an idea popped into your head—a mischievous one.
You walked up to him after he finished his set, smiling innocently. “Hey, babe, could you do something for me?”
Chan looked up, wiping the sweat from his forehead, his face already breaking into a smile at the sight of you. “Sure, anything. What’s up?”
You leaned in slightly, “Could you tie a ribbon around your bicep for me? Just for fun.”
Chan blinked at you in surprise, then chuckled. “A ribbon? Around my bicep?”
You nodded, your grin widening. “Yeah, just for me. I think it’d look cute. Please?”
He let out a laugh, shaking his head in amusement, but the smirk on his face said it all—he wasn’t going to say no. “You’re a weirdo, but alright. You’ve got me wrapped around your finger.”
He put the little, decorative ribbon you brought with you around his bicep, making sure it was snug but not too tight. The cheeky sparkle in his eyes caused you to laugh out loud when he turned to face you once more. "You think this is cute enough?" Chan asked, flaunting the ribbon and flexing his arm. "Perfect," you replied, smiling softly as you reached out to gently adjust it. "Everything looks good because of you." He leaned forward and kissed your forehead as his smile softened. "I'll wear a ribbon every day as long as it brings you joy."
You laughed, grateful for how far he’d go to indulge your silly requests.
lee know
On a relaxing afternoon, you and Minho were relaxing at home while you sat cross-legged on the couch and browsed through your phone to the soothing sounds of some music. Minho was at ease as he laid beside you with his arm slung across the back of the couch. You gave him a quick glance as a lighthearted thought occurred to you. You had always liked his biceps, but today you wanted to see them in a completely new way—in a cutesy yet ridiculous way. You quickly placed your phone down and smiled as you turned to face him.
With a hint of mischief in your tone, you said, "Hey, can you do me a favor?" Minho arched an eyebrow, obviously interested but unsure of the direction of this. "What is it?" Reaching over, you placed a little, colorful ribbon you had previously picked up on the side table. It was the perfect size and a gentle pastel tint. Your smile grew as you extended it to him. "Could you tie this around your bicep for me?" Minho looked at you for a time, blinking, as though he was trying to tell if you were kidding. "A ribbon? "Around my arm?" he asked, appearing both genuinely perplexed and amused by the request.
"Yeah," you said, giggling a little. "I think it'd look cute. Just for fun. Please?”
He chuckled softly, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "You're so random." But his smile grew, and he took the ribbon from you, clearly willing to indulge you. As he looped it around his bicep, you couldn't help but watch as his muscles flexed slightly under the motion, making your heart skip a beat.
Once it was tied, Minho looked at you, flexing his arm with a smirk. “Happy now?”
You leaned forward, pretending to inspect it, your finger gently adjusting the bow. "Absolutely. You look... ridiculously good. Like a gift wrapped just for me."
He rolled his eyes, clearly entertained. "You're weird," he said with a smile, but you could see the fondness in his eyes.
"You know you love it," you teased, reaching over to give his arm a playful squeeze, feeling the strength beneath your fingers.
Minho smiled, his hand coming up to ruffle your hair. “I really do,” he said, clearly amused by how something so simple could make you so happy.
"Good," you said, resting your head on his shoulder. "You’re the best, Min. Thanks for letting me make you a walking present."
He laughed, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close.
changbin
It was a quiet night at home, and you and Changbin were spending time on the couch while the soft glow of the living room lights created a cozy atmosphere. He was leaning back, his muscles flexing slightly with each movement, while you were snuggled up next to him, your head resting on his shoulder, lazily scrolling through your phone. His biceps, which are well-defined and strong because of the amount of work he puts into his workouts, caught your eye as you looked at him absently. You admired his muscularity, but you couldn't get a silly idea out of your head today.
You turned to him, a mischievous smile slowly spreading across your face. "Hey, Bin," you said, glancing up from your phone.
He looked down at you with an amused expression. "What’s up?"
You hesitated for just a second, then pulled a small ribbon from your pocket, its soft pastel color standing out against the more neutral tones of the room. "Can you do me a favor?"
Changbin raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by the sudden request. “What kind of favor?”
You held the ribbon out toward him with a teasing grin. “Could you tie this around your bicep for me? Just for fun. I think it’ll look cute.”
He blinked at you, clearly taken aback. “A ribbon? Around my bicep?” His voice was a mix of confusion and amusement, though you could already tell he wasn’t going to say no.
You nodded, your smile widening. “Yeah, I think it’ll look cute. Just once, please?”
Changbin let out a small laugh, shaking his head at your quirky request but not even hesitating to take the ribbon from your hand. “You’re unbelievable,” he said, but there was a hint of playfulness in his voice. “But okay, for you.”
He gently wrapped the ribbon around his bicep, the contrast of the soft fabric against his muscular arm making your heart race. You couldn’t help but admire how even something so simple looked so good on him. Once it was secured, he flexed his arm slightly, looking down at it with a smirk.
"Well?" Changbin asked, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "How do I look?"
You bit your lip, trying to contain your excitement. “You look... ridiculously good,” you said, your voice dripping with affection. “Like some kind of strong, tough guy, but also a little bit of a sweetheart with a ribbon around your arm.”
At your lighthearted remark, he shook his head and laughed. With the ribbon still precisely positioned on his arm, he drew you close to him and added, "I'm glad I can make you happy." You were happy with the small moment as you leaned toward him and put your head against his chest. You smiled to yourself and whispered, "You always do." "You're perfect." Changbin laughed quietly and kissed your forehead.
hyunjin
It was a sunny afternoon, and you and Hyunjin were strolling through a small outdoor market, taking in the sights and smells of the various stalls. You were looking at the colorful displays, the light breeze adding to the pleasant atmosphere. Hyunjin walked beside you, his relaxed stride matching the laid-back vibe of the day, his sleeves rolled up casually, showing off his sculpted arms.
You were walking past a stand with fabric and ribbons when you noticed one that stood out as especially delicate—it was a gentle pastel pink. Before you could stop yourself, you turned to Hyunjin and smiled nonchalantly as an idea struck you. You said, "Hey, Hyun," as you gazed up at him with a playful twinkle in your eyes. He looked down at you, looking at you with interest. "Yeah?" While holding out the ribbon, you said, "Can you do me a favor?"
He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "What kind of favor?"
With a teasing smile, you held the ribbon out toward him. "Could you tie this around your bicep? Just for fun," you said, your voice light and playful.
Hyunjin stopped walking for a moment, blinking at you in surprise. "A ribbon? Around my arm?" He chuckled softly, clearly amused by the randomness of the request. "Are you serious?"
You nodded enthusiastically, unable to contain your excitement. "Yep! I think it'd look cute. Come on, please?"
Hyunjin stopped for a moment, then shook his head while continuing to laugh. He said, "You’re really something," but his smile made it clear he wasn't going to turn you down. Taking the ribbon from your hand, he easily tied it around his bicep, his biceps rippling slightly as you both walked ahead. He arched an eyebrow at you as he straightened up and flexed his arm after tying it. With a teasing grin tugging at his lips, he asked, "How do I look?"
When you saw him with the delicate ribbon against his muscular arm, you couldn't help but giggle. Your heart skipped a beat at how incredibly good he looked. "You look... like a model who’s ready to break hearts and steal ribbons," you taunted. Clearly pleased with himself, Hyunjin grinned. "Well, I'm glad you think so," he added, emphasizing with his arm still flexed. "Anything for you, I guess." You bent over and kissed him on the cheek. You muttered, "You're the best," appreciating how he always gave in to your silly requests.
HAN
It was a breezy afternoon, and you and Jisung were taking a stroll through a local park, enjoying the calm atmosphere. The trees were swaying gently in the wind, and the sun was just starting to dip lower in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow over everything. You walked side by side, hands brushing occasionally, the sound of your footsteps mixing with the peaceful background noise of nature.
As you walked, you couldn’t help but glance over at him. Jisung had rolled up his sleeves earlier, revealing his toned biceps. Every time he moved, you couldn’t help but admire how strong he looked, his muscles subtly flexing.
An idea popped into your head, and a playful smile tugged at the corners of your lips. You decided to have a little fun.
"Hey, Ji," you said, turning to him with a teasing grin.
He glanced over at you with that signature cocky smirk of his. "What? What’s that look for?" he asked, already sensing that something mischievous was coming.
You pulled a soft, pastel ribbon out of your bag that you’d picked up earlier, holding it up with a playful sparkle in your eyes. "Can you tie this around your bicep?" you asked casually, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
Jisung blinked for a moment, his eyebrows lifting in surprise, before a cocky grin spread across his face. "A ribbon? Around my bicep?" he repeated, clearly amused. "What, you think I need a little decoration to match my muscles or something?"
Without even attempting to conceal your laughter, you burst out laughing. "Well, you know," you replied, "It’s just that I think you'd look even more... impressive with it." Jisung laughed, obviously taking pleasure in your flirty banter. "Oh, so I’m already impressive, but a ribbon is just the finishing touch?" His voice was overflowing with confidence as he flexed his arm, obviously playing up the situation. "Alright, I will. For you.” Taking the ribbon from your hand, he wrapped it around his bicep and secured it with a little, exaggerated arm flex. He moved slowly and deliberately, obviously relishing the attention he was receiving. He gave you a dramatic flex after finishing, lifting his arm a little.
With a smug look on his face, he asked, "How’s this?" "Looking good, right?" You chuckle quietly as you admire how self-assured he was about it. "Really?” You shook your head in pleased amazement and replied, "You look ridiculous... but also ridiculously good." "You could wear anything and still manage to look perfect." Jisung leaned in a little, obviously enjoying your compliment. "Of course," he answered, grinning even broadly. "I mean, I always look this good, but if a ribbon makes you smile, I’m all in."
You smiled, reaching up to adjust the ribbon playfully. "You really are full of yourself, huh?"
"Only because I know you like it," he replied, his eyes sparkling with mischief. You laughed, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his cheek. "I’m definitely not complaining," you said, feeling the warmth of his confidence mixed with your affection for him.
As you continued your walk together, you couldn’t help but smile at how he always knew how to make you laugh—and how, no matter the request, he would always turn it into something fun.
felix
It was a cozy evening at home, and you and Felix were in the middle of a movie marathon. The soft glow of the fairy lights you’d strung up earlier added to the intimate vibe of the night, and a bowl of popcorn sat between you on the couch. You were curled up beside him, feeling completely content as you both laughed at the random jokes and cheesy moments of the movie.
Felix, who was in a comfortable oversized hoodie and sweatpants, absentmindedly tugged his hoodie off, showing off his lean arms as he adjusted himself on the couch. You couldn't help but notice how good he looked, even in something so simple.
Then, your eyes landed on a cute ribbon you had left on the coffee table. You remembered you had bought it earlier and thought it would be fun to incorporate it into your night somehow. A mischievous idea crept into your mind.
“Hey, Lix,” you said, pausing the movie with a sly grin.
He turned his head toward you with a curious expression. “Yeah?” he asked, his voice full of warmth.
You picked up the ribbon and held it up in front of him, the light catching its soft, pastel color. “Can you do me a favor?” you asked, your tone playful.
Felix blinked and tilted his head, clearly intrigued. “What kind of favor?”
You bit your lip, trying to keep your giggles in check. “Could you tie this around your bicep? I think it’ll look really cute on you.”
Felix's eyes immediately lit up, his face breaking into an excited grin. “Wait… really?” he said, his voice practically bubbling with enthusiasm. “I’ve seen people doing this lately, and I’ve been wanting to try it! Yes! Let’s do it!”
You burst out laughing at his excitement. “I had no idea you’d be so into it.”
Felix practically bounced off the couch in excitement, reaching for the ribbon before you even finished speaking. "I’ve got to do it right, though," he said, his expression full of determination as he wrapped the ribbon carefully around his bicep, making sure it was tied perfectly. He flexed his arm as he finished, clearly pleased with the result.
He turned toward you with a proud smirk. "How’s this? Am I pulling it off?" he asked, his voice full of playful confidence.
You smiled, completely amused by how eager he was. “You look amazing,” you said, laughing. "Honestly, you’re probably the best person to wear a ribbon. It looks like you were born for it."
Felix struck a dramatic pose, flexing his arm again as if he were on a runway. “I knew it,” he said, a cocky grin on his face. “I’m a trendsetter. Always ahead of the curve.”
You rolled your eyes playfully, reaching over to adjust the ribbon slightly. “You’re so extra,” you teased, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “But you really do look good.”
Felix smiled widely, his eyes softening as he pulled you closer. You leaned your head on his shoulder, feeling warm and content. “Best decision I made today,” you whispered, your heart swelling with affection for him as the movie continued to play in the background. Felix, with his ribbon and his smile, was all you needed in that moment.
seungmin
It was a quiet afternoon in the park. The weather was perfect—cool with a gentle breeze, and the soft sounds of children playing and birds chirping filled the air. You and Seungmin were sitting on a bench near a pond, enjoying the calm atmosphere. He had brought along a book, but you had found yourself distracted, leaning back and soaking in the peaceful scene around you.
As you sat beside him, your fingers absentmindedly ran through the small bag you’d brought along. That was when you noticed it—a soft, pastel ribbon you’d picked up from a craft shop earlier that week. A soft smile crept onto your face as an idea formed.
You glanced over at Seungmin, who was still quietly reading. His biceps were subtly flexing under his fitted T-shirt, and the thought of adding a cute, little accessory to them suddenly seemed like the perfect idea.
“Seung,” you began, your voice light and teasing, “can you do me a favor?”
He looked up from his book, his expression one of mild curiosity. “Hmm? What is it?” His tone was relaxed, not expecting anything unusual.
You held up the ribbon in front of him, trying to hide your excitement. “Can you tie this around your bicep?” you asked, your voice playful. “I think it’ll look cute on you.”
Seungmin blinked, clearly caught off guard. He stared at the ribbon for a moment, then looked back at you, slightly confused. “A ribbon? Around my arm?” he asked, a hint of disbelief in his voice. “Why would I do that?”
You pouted, trying to hide your disappointment. “I just think it would be fun,” you said, a little quieter now. “You’d look cute.”
Seungmin frowned slightly, not quite sold on the idea. “It just seems... kind of silly,” he muttered, glancing at the ribbon again. “I don’t know if I want to do that.”
The playful energy you had a moment ago quickly shifted. You felt a little disappointed, even though you knew it wasn’t a big deal. You had just hoped it would be a fun moment to share, but now Seungmin seemed unsure, and you couldn’t help but feel a little deflated.
Noticing the change in your mood, Seungmin's expression softened, his gaze flicking back to you. He realized he might have come off a little too harsh, and seeing the slight sadness in your eyes, he quickly sighed, setting his book aside.
“Okay, okay,” he said, giving you a small but warm smile. “I’ll do it, but don’t expect me to wear it for long, alright?”
You perked up instantly, your smile returning. “Really?” you asked, your tone filled with excitement. “Thank you, babe!”
He rolled his eyes, but there was no hiding the small smile on his face. “I don’t get why you like these kinds of silly things, but…” He grabbed the ribbon from your hand and wrapped it around his bicep with exaggerated care, making sure it was tied just right.
Once it was secure, he flexed his arm just a little, showing off the ribbon in a way that almost made you laugh. “How’s that?” he asked, his voice a mix of amusement and slight embarrassment. "You happy now?"
You couldn't stop smiling. He might have been reluctant at first, but he still looked amazing with the ribbon on his arm. “You look great,” you said with a grin, reaching out to gently adjust the ribbon. “I told you, it’s cute.”
Seungmin raised an eyebrow but couldn't suppress a laugh. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he muttered, shaking his head. “But if it makes you happy, I guess I’ll wear it for a little while.”
You leaned in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “It makes me very happy,” you said softly, your voice warm with affection. “Thank you for indulging me.” He chuckled, clearly feeling a little more at ease. As you sat together, the ribbon still around his bicep, you felt the warmth of the moment. It wasn’t just about the silly request—it was the way Seungmin always cared enough to make you happy, even if it meant stepping out of his comfort zone for a moment. And that made the simple gesture so much more special.
I.N
It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, and you and Jeongin were relaxing at his place. You were lounging on the couch, enjoying the quiet, while he had been fiddling around with his phone. The windows were open, letting in the soft breeze, and the world outside seemed to slow down as you two enjoyed the calm.
You were absentmindedly scrolling through your own phone when your eyes fell on the small ribbon you’d brought with you. It was a simple, pastel blue, just the right size to fit around a bicep. A playful idea crossed your mind, and you couldn't help but smile.
"Hey, babe," you said, glancing up at him, a teasing grin on your face.
He lowered his phone and looked at you, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah? What’s up?” he asked, clearly curious.
You held the ribbon out between your fingers. "Can you tie this around your bicep?" you asked, your tone light and playful. "I think it’ll look cute on you."
Jeongin’s eyes lit up immediately, and a cocky grin spread across his face. He leaned back on the couch, puffing out his chest a little. "A ribbon?" he repeated, clearly liking the attention. "You want me to wear a ribbon around my bicep?"
You nodded, trying to keep your grin in check. "Yep, exactly that. I think it'd be cute, and I wanna see it on you."
He let out a small laugh, the kind that hinted he was already feeling a little too proud of himself. "Oh, so you want me to show off these bad boys, huh?" he said, flexing his biceps a little and making them bulge impressively. "I mean, I have been hitting the gym with the guys a lot lately. All those extra sets are finally paying off."
You rolled your eyes, unable to suppress a smile. "Okay, we get it," you teased, giving him a playful push. "You’ve got muscles. Can you just put the ribbon on already?”
Jeongin chuckled, clearly enjoying the attention. "Oh, I’m just getting started," he said, looking down at his arms and admiring them as though he were in front of a mirror. "You know, I have been getting stronger, so now I’m basically a walking advertisement for all my hard work."
You raised an eyebrow at him. "Sure, sure," you said, amused. "Keep flexing. I just want you to tie the ribbon on so I can see how ridiculous you look with it."
Jeongin’s grin widened, and he leaned forward to take the ribbon from your hand. "Fine, I’ll humor you. But just so you know," he said as he carefully wrapped the ribbon around his bicep, making sure it was tied perfectly. "I’m not just doing this for you. It’s a chance for me to show off my gains."
You couldn’t help but laugh at his dramatic tone. "I can see that," you teased, playfully eyeing him as he flexed again to show off the ribbon. "Are you going to wear it like this all day, or do I have to deal with the gym bro attitude the whole time?"
He turned to face you, flexing his arm dramatically, showing off the ribbon now adorning his bicep. "You think this is a one-time thing?" he asked, clearly enjoying how ridiculous and charming he looked. "I’m about to start a new trend. Who wouldn’t want to wear a ribbon with these muscles?"
You rolled your eyes again, though there was a smile on your face. "You’re such a show-off," you said, leaning over to adjust the ribbon just slightly, your fingers grazing his skin. "But you look good, I’ll admit it."
Jeongin puffed his chest out even more, giving you a proud look. "Of course I do. You’re welcome," he said, his voice oozing confidence. "You’re lucky I’m letting you see all this muscle right now."
You chuckled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I’m lucky, huh?" you said with a playful smirk. "I’m the one who gets to see you all flexing over a ribbon, looking like a total goofball."
Jeongin just laughed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in. "Anything to make you smile," he said, softening a little despite the cocky attitude.
You snuggled into him, smiling. "I think you’re cute no matter what," you said, enjoying the warmth of his arm around you. "But this just makes you even more ridiculous, and I love it."
Jeongin grinned, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "I’ll take that as a compliment," he said, his voice softening despite his earlier boastfulness.
asks are always open if you have a question, concern, or request!
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antimony-medusa · 1 day ago
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Okay so, I just want to say, as someone who's been through this before (being a sf/fantasy fan, a music fan, and a dsmp fan, and living in my irl friend group has whammied me at various times because of various situations), something like this sucks, but it doesn't suck forever. Sometimes you have to leave the source material completely, and sometimes you work out a new relationship to it, but the love that you put into the world was not some sin on your part, and you will find a new way to navigate that love and— if you are a creator of some kind— that creativity.
You were lied to (by someone who knew that if we knew these things we'd feel very differently), and you found out the truth, and the truth sucks. It's rarely fun to be lied to. You have to let yourself grieve that disillusionment and the expectations you had for the future, but eventually all griefs get small enough that you can carry them more easily.
Every time something like this happened I found that my ability to create was just in the garbage for a while, because my brain was hitting all the buttons at the same time and would NOT focus, but eventually the need to create and imagine was strong enough to come back in some new way. I couldn't and still can't look at the work I made before in the same way, but eventually I could see it for the love I brought to it at the time, and I do believe that no love is wasted, even if you feel differently about things or people later. It absolutely sucks and you have to let it suck, but you do eventually find a new way to navigate finding joy and creativity in your media diet (or friend group, like I said, I kind of had this happen in my real life).
Which is to say I'm so sorry, and what you bring to the table has always been something that is worthy independent of the source, and you'll feel better eventually, I promise. Scumbag people can't keep us down forever.
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bat-mom-writer · 2 days ago
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Impulses
Bruce Wayne(Husband) X Reader(Wife)
Summery: you can be very quick to act on your impulse, usually being done with a kind heart. But can sometimes lead to you and some others being hurt.
Note: Something tells me Bruce wouldn't go to therapy, but this isn't real so...
Rate: Loving Bruce, the very small almost of angst
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"So, tell me Bruce, are you happily married?"
"Of course."
"Then why are you here?"
"Well," Bruce pauses, thinking over his words carefully, "it's not exactly that simple."
The therapist's office was quiet, the kind of silence that felt like it was holding its breath. Bruce Wayne sat in a chair that was a little too small for his broad shoulders, his eyes darting to the clock on the wall. It was a simple room, with a few plants scattered around and a faint scent of lavender in the air, but it was the last place he ever thought he'd be. He was a man who dealt with Gotham's problems from the shadows, not one who talked about his own in a well-lit space with a box of tissues within arm's reach.
"How so?" the therapist asked again, her voice gentle but firm, bringing Bruce back to the present.
He sighed. "Well, my wife… she's incredible. She's kind and she's the glue that holds our family together."
The therapist nodded, her expression neutral. "But?"
Bruce leaned back, rubbing his temples. "But she's… impulsive. She does things without considering the consequences, especially when it comes to the boys."
The therapist made a note in her pad. "Could you give me an example?"
Bruce sighed heavily, his mind racing with instances. "Once we went hiking, and she found a baby wolf, injured and alone. She insisted on bringing it back to the manor to care for it herself. Most of my sons thought it would be a great idea—until we realized it had a pack out there looking for it, and suddenly we had a bunch of very unhappy wolves on our backs."
The therapist looked up, raising an eyebrow. "I see. And how did that situation resolve?"
Bruce chuckled, a bit nervously. "Let's just say there were a lot of stitches involved. And I haven't heard anyone wanting to go camping again ever since."
The therapist's eyes widened, but she remained calm. "It seems she has a heart of gold, but maybe a bit of an overactive sense of adventure."
Bruce nodded. "Exactly. And it's not just with animals. She once tried to organize a surprise street carnival in the middle of Gotham because she thought the city needed more joy. You can imagine the chaos that ensued with all the traffic rerouting and permits she didn't bother to get."
The therapist's pen stopped mid-stroke. "Ah, so her intentions are good, but the execution could use some work."
Bruce nodded emphatically. "You have no idea. She's the love of my life, but sometimes I worry she's going to get us all into trouble. The boys look up to her, especially Dick and Damian."
The therapist leaned in slightly. "How do Dick and Damian react to her impulsive nature?"
"Dick tries to be the voice of reason, but he's young and still learning the ropes of being a responsible older brother. And Damian," Bruce sighed, "he's more like me—he's intrigued by the chaos she creates, but he's also the one who ends up getting hurt when things go awry."
The therapist nodded understandingly. "It's natural for children to look up to their parents, especially when they see the love and good intentions behind their actions. But it's also important for them to learn about boundaries and the potential consequences of impulsivity. How does your wife react when you bring this up with her?"
Bruce leaned forward, his expression a mix of affection and exasperation. "She's… well, she's stubborn. She sees the world as a place full of possibilities, and she wants to experience all of them. I get that, I do. But we can't live our lives on the edge like that, especially with the kind of enemies I've made over the years."
The therapist nodded, her gaze thoughtful. "It's a delicate balance, isn't it? Wanting to keep your family safe and also allowing them the freedom to live their lives fully. How have you been managing this?"
Bruce's smile grew a bit wistful. "Well, my wife is also the lively part of our lives. Without her, the manor would be just a fortress, not a home. She brings laughter and light to every room she enters. She's the one who convinced me to let Tim build a skateboard ramp in the garage, and even though it's a hazard to my cars, I can't help but smile when I hear them all out there, having fun."
The therapist nodded, understanding the complexity of the situation. "It sounds like you appreciate her spirit, but it's important to establish boundaries to ensure everyone's safety. Have you tried discussing the potential dangers with her?"
Bruce leaned back, his eyes drifting to the floor. "I've tried," he admitted. "But she's… she's like a tornado of love and enthusiasm. It's hard to say no to her."
The therapist nodded, her expression understanding. "It's clear you care deeply for her and the boys. Perhaps it's time to find a way to channel that enthusiasm into safer outlets."
"I know," Bruce said, running a hand through his hair. "But she's so… so alive. It's like trying to cage a butterfly."
The therapist nodded. "It's not about caging her, Bruce. It's about guiding her. Teaching her and the boys to weigh risks and rewards. To channel their energy into something positive without endangering themselves or others."
Bruce sat in silence, contemplating her words. He knew she was right, but it was easier said than done when it came to his vibrant wife. Her zest for life was both infectious and overwhelming at times. He thought back to the street carnival she had organized. The look of joy on the citizens' faces as they played games and ate cotton candy was something he hadn't seen in Gotham in a long time.
"There not all bad," he murmured, a small smile playing on his lips. "Her impulses have led to some amazing moments, too."
"Like what?" the therapist prompted, her curiosity piqued.
Bruce's smile grew as he recalled a recent incident. "Last week, she found out about a fundraising event for an underfunded children's hospital. Without asking, she decided to host a masquerade ball at the manor. She convinced Alfred to help, and together they transformed the place into a fairy tale. The kids had the time of their lives, and we ended up raising a fortune for those kids."
The therapist returned his smile. "That does sound wonderful. It seems her spontaneity has its benefits."
Bruce nodded. "It does. But it's also a double-edged sword. I want to support her, but I also need to keep everyone safe."
The therapist leaned back in her chair. "Communication is key, Bruce. It's about expressing your concerns without squashing her spirit. Have you tried talking to her about how her impulsiveness affects you?"
Bruce sighed, his eyes reflecting the weight of his words. "I've tried, but she takes it personally. She thinks I'm trying to control her."
The therapist nodded, her expression empathetic. "It's a common misconception. Setting boundaries isn't about control; it's about care and safety. Have you framed it that way?"
Bruce furrowed his brow. "I'm not sure. I've usually approached it from the perspective of the danger it could pose to the boys."
"It's important to express your feelings," the therapist said. "Tell her how her actions affect you and why you worry. It might help her understand your perspective better."
Bruce nodded slowly, considering her advice. It was true; he hadn't shared his own fears with her, only the potential risks to the boys. Perhaps that was where he was going wrong.
"Thank you, doctor," he said, rising from his chair. "I'll think about what you've said."
The therapist stood and offered a warm smile. "Remember, Bruce, it's about balance. And sometimes, that means taking a risk to find it."
Bruce nodded, her words echoing in his mind as he left the office and stepped into the Gotham night. The city was alive with the pulse of its inhabitants, a stark contrast to the calmness he'd just left behind. His thoughts were racing, trying to find a way to bridge the gap between his need for security and his wife's boundless spirit.
As he drove back to Wayne Manor, the grandeur of the estate came into view, the gothic architecture a stark contrast to the chaos of the city beyond its gates. The manor was more than just a home; it was a bastion of hope in a city that desperately needed it. The lights were on in the windows, a warm glow that promised sanctuary from the cold outside.
When he walked in, the smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air. You was in the kitchen, humming to yourself as you pulled a tray out of the oven. You turned to him, your face lighting up with a smile that never failed to melt his heart. "Hi, honey! How was your day?"
Bruce took a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation he knew he had to have. "It was… interesting," he said, trying to keep his tone light. "How about yours?"
"Oh, you know," you replied with a shrug, placing the cookies on a rack to cool. "Just the usual—keeping the boys out of trouble, planning the next big surprise for them." you winked at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
Bruce felt a twinge of both fondness and dread. He knew that look all too well. It was the look you got when she had another harebrained scheme up your sleeve. He walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into an embrace. "How about we talk about these surprises together from now on?"
You tilted your head back, your smile fading a bit. "What do you mean?"
Bruce took a deep breath. "I mean, I know you love surprising the boys, and I love that about you. But sometimes, your surprises have… unintended consequences. I want to be there to support you, but I also need to make sure everyone is safe."
You leaned back, looking up at him with a slightly defensive expression. "Not all of my surprises turn out bad," you said, your voice a bit softer than before.
Bruce felt his heart squeeze at the sight of you, flour smudged on your cheek and apron, looking so earnest. He gave a tight smile, trying to ease the tension. But his face was screaming, "Are you sure?"
You took a step back, "Okay, okay, maybe most of them," you conceded. "But the good ones make up for it, right?"
Bruce sighed, his arms dropping to his sides. "They do," he agreed. "But it's the potential for danger that I can't ignore. And not just for the boys, but for you too."
You rolled your eyes, brushing off the flour on your apron. "Me? I'm fine. I can handle myself."
Bruce's grip on your shoulders tightened slightly. "You know what I mean," he said, his voice serious. "How many times have you ended up in the hospital because of one of your… adventures?"
You winced, remembering the last time you had tried to rescue a cat stuck in a tree, only to end up with a broken arm and a bruised ego. "Okay, okay," you repeated, holding up your hands in surrender. "I get it. I can be a bit… much."
Bruce's expression softened, his eyes searching yours. "You're not 'much', you're amazing. I just don't want to lose you."
You took a deep breath, the weight of his words settling in. "I know," you said, your voice small. "But what about you? You're not much different, Bruce. Maybe even worse. You go out every night as Batman, risking your life."
He stepped back, his expression unreadable. "That's different," he said firmly. "That's for the city."
"Is it?" you asked, looking up at him with a hint of challenge in your eyes. "Or is it because you've convinced yourself that it's your duty? That you're the only one who can do it?"
Bruce's jaw tightened at your question. It was a fair point, one he'd wrestled with in the quiet moments of his life. He knew that his crusade as Batman was driven by his own fears and the need to keep the city that had taken his parents safe. But he also knew that the stakes were higher for him than they were for you.
"I've been trained for that," he said finally. "You… you have the biggest heart in the world, but sometimes you don't think about the risks."
You nodded, looking down at the cookies cooling on the rack. "I know," you murmured. "But it's just so hard to resist when I see something that could bring joy to people, especially the boys."
Bruce stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on your cheek. "I know your heart's in the right place," he said. "But we can't keep playing Russian roulette with our lives, not when we have so much to lose. I don't want to lose you. Or see you get hurt. I'm just asking, please, consider the risks before you act. And come to me, talk to me, let's find a way to make this work."
You searched his eyes, the gravity of his words sinking in. You knew he wasn't trying to stifle you; he was just worried. "Okay," you whispered, leaning into his touch. "I'll try."
Bruce's expression relaxed a bit, his thumb brushing against your cheek. "Thank you," he said softly. "Now, how about we sit down and talk about what's been on your mind? Maybe we can come up with some ideas together."
You nodded, swiping a strand of hair from your forehead. "Alright, I'll finish up on the cookies and then we can talk. Until then, want to help? Just to make sure I don't hurt myself?"
Bruce couldn't help but chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood. "Sure," he said, taking the spatula from your hand. "Let's do this together."
As you both worked side by side in the kitchen, the tension began to ease. You chatted about the different flavors of cookies and which ones the boys would like best, while Bruce carefully placed the finished ones on a plate. The rhythm of your conversation was soothing, and it reminded him of the first time he had met you—how your laugh had filled a room and made him feel alive again.
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royalthedemigod · 13 hours ago
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alright, his answers below:
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💐 I'm not sure I believe in love at first sight. I think love takes time. Getting to know someone, learning their quirks and flaws, that's what makes love real.
🌹 I do make promises. And I always keep them. Keeping my word is everything to me. I would never make a promise I couldn't keep.
🥀 I'd consider myself a realist. I've seen a lot in my time. Good and bad. I know the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. (and then he said to me, he's an optimist because i bring light into his world :3 RAAAHHH)
🌺 Strange? Nah, baby. I'm just unique. And yeah, I think people like me. I'm charming, funny, and I look damn good in stripes.
🌷 Pet peeves? Hmm. People who talk during movies. Drives me nuts. And slow walkers. Come on, people. Pick up the pace.
🪷 Disorganized. Through and through. But I'm not overwhelmed by it. I kind of thrive in the chaos.
🌸 I'd say I'm more extroverted. I love being around people, causing trouble, making jokes.
💮 Favorite time of year? Probably fall. I just love the crisp air, the changing leaves, the smell of pumpkin spice everywhere. Plus, Halloween. Can't forget about that. It's like my birthday, but spookier.
🏵️ When I have a free moment? I like to cause a little mischief. Nothing too crazy. Just some harmless pranks, maybe scare a few people. Keeps life interesting.
🪻 Something small? When you remember the little things. Like making my coffee just how I like it. Or leaving a note on the mirror. The small gestures mean the most. Because they show me you're thinking of me, even when I'm not around.
🌻 Raised a baby animal? Can't say I have. But I'd be down to try. Especially if it meant cuddling with a tiny kitten or puppy.
🌼 Before I fall asleep? I think about you. Though I wouldn't say no to a cuddle with a stuffed animal. As long as you're there too. (while referring to me, btw :333)
🍁 I'd say I'm a little bit of both. Left-brained enough to plan a good con, right-brained enough to think outside the box. I think being a mix is the best. Keeps things interesting.
🍄 If I could live in a fantasy world? I'd be a superhero. Saving damsels in distress, fighting crime, all that jazz. (then, said i could be his side-kick WOOO)
🌳 Reincarnated? Hmm. I think I'd like to come back as a ghost again. But maybe a different kind of ghost. Like a friendly Casper-type ghost. Bringing joy and laughter wherever I go.
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he's so cute, i love him :3
(also, credit to @/sister-lucier for the bj dividers)
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f/ovember questionnaire ask game!
heres a list of questions not necessarily about your selfship, but questions for your f/o to answer for f/ovember!
💐 - do you believe in love at first sight? why or why not? do you think it's better to get to know a person before you allow yourself to love them?
🌹 - do you makes promises? do you keep them? how important is it to you that you keep the promises that you make?
🥀 - are you more of a pessimist or an optimist? or would you consider yourself a realist? why?
🌺 - do you consider yourself to be a strange person? do you think other people like you? why or why not?
🌷 - what are your pet peeves? do you know why you dislike those things?
🪷 - would you consider yourself to be organized? disorganized? does being in disorganized spaces overwhelm you?
🌸 - at heart, are you more introverted or extroverted? do you value alone time or time with others more?
💮 - do you have a favorite time of year? what is it? is there any reason why you prefer that over others?
🏵️ - when you have no obligations you need to attend to, what do you like to do when you have a free moment to yourself that isn't one of your hobbies?
🪻 - whats something small that people do for you that you appreciate?
🌻 - have you ever raised a baby animal? like a kitten or a puppy? how was that experience? would you ever want to do that, or would you do it again if you have done it before?
🌼 - what do you usually think about before you fall asleep? do you have any comforts you keep with you in bed? like a stuffed animal or a baby blanket?
🍁 - do you consider yourself more left-brained or right-brained? do you think it's better to be one or the other, or do you think its better to be a little bit of both?
🍄 - if you could live in a fantasy world where anything was possible, what would you find yourself doing?
🌳 - if you could be reincarnated as anything in the world, what would you like to be reincarnated as?
reblog or whateva to use :P have fun! send some other folks that reblog an ask! or send me one, if you wish :)
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anxiousapplepie · 2 days ago
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You may have answered this, but the travelers have their own version of loop or is it all Still Loop and they are SUFFERING?
Bonus points if Isabeau is last, and by now they've managed to speed run this bullshit by convincing the other three to talk to their party members about their feelings but Isa just. Won't. Budge. And it drives them up the freaking wall, especially since Sif is the smart one in this universe (and Loop is half tempted to drag him aside and trauma dump everything in an attempt to get Isa some serious help). Bonus bonus points if Traveler!Isabeau takes the longest because of this.
Seeing Loop Suffer Brings Me Joy
HAHA weirdly good timing for you to ask this question- just answered something and shared some vibes for what I think Loop is doing in all the roleswap AUs! I was kinda thinking of Traveler!Bonnie being the last one for Loop to help break free from the timeloops (because at that point Loop has reached a new emotional high the same as the kid; the perfect mental place to maybe go back and give OG!Siffrin the coin they swapped) BUT GRIEF you are compelling me with the idea Traveler!Isabeau is the last one they help! Loop is going to HATE him so much! "YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, ISA! I KNOW YOU ARE!!!" Never would they think Isa, Mr. Emotional Maturity and Mental Stability would ever be just as bad as Siffrin. Turns out! He can! if he tries very, very hard. Also Loop with their head in hands like "I thought a Stardust [Fighter!Sif] who was already bonded to you was insufferable. TURNS OUT. A Stardust that is trying to awkwardly court you is infinitely worse." We love to make Loop miserable and suffer, and I am here for that energy all day and every day
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eerna · 2 days ago
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everything your saying so true king shit keep talking. I felt what was so interesting about season one was how all the magic tied in to the bigger message like the magic tied into the class inequality and part of why victor was so interesting to me was because he was from the undercity but was feeding into the inequality. And I felt like they could have had something really interesting in season two where he realized that and went back to the undercity to help but no they had to do the glorious evolution thing which was just eek to me. Also the whole caitvi thing was a total nightmare ultimately the only plot line I really liked was Mel’s god the horror of realizing that your turning into your mother also ekko had some interesting stuff, but you’re so right that they toned him down because if they didn’t everything would fall apart around them. Anyway I love your thoughts and art and analysis and love to see you continue doing it. ❤️🧡💛💚💙🩵💜
Thank you so so so much for your kind words, it brings me joy to hear so 😘
Yes!! If you'll allow me to expand on your point about magic, bc I don't think I've talked about it yet. In s1 magic was a stand in for pretty much any technological discovery. It was supposed to make life easier, enabling easier production and preventing difficult working conditions... But instead, as technology always is used, it only served the upper class, while the workers stayed in the dust. Because no technological discovery can fix a broken system, the system needs to be changed and only then can the people be helped. That was the tragic truth Viktor didn't understand until the end of s1. His focus was on technology instead of the system, it did the Undercity absolutely no good and instead only widened the gap between classes.
S2 has none of that. In s2 magic is only magic. It is the freaky stuff that creates zombies and makes force fields. It makes absolutely no statements on society, on the people who use it, or anything. It looks cool and does cool stuff and has to be stopped because it's evil and wants to destroy Piltover. And its weapon is Viktor. Viktor. Is the final boss of Arcane. The guy who is chronically ill because of Piltoved's greed, who gave his entire life to the city and got nothing in return, is the biggest threat. It leaves such a bad taste in my mouth bro
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sliced-peaches · 14 hours ago
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hit it off right
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Jeong Jaehyun x reader | 5.8k | friends to…?
After hearing about him for what seems like forever, you finally meet Jungwoo’s hot roommate. But it’s a lot more wholesome than anything else.
📀 now playing: say it - maggie rogers // decent - bas, amaarae // perfect places - lorde // dear to me - electric guest
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a/n: seeing Jae getting drunk with YoungJi did something for me. I miss him and it’s really hard being a military wife. this is part of a larger collection coming soon, so nothing spicy. pls enjoy~
mentions of: other nct members, bff! Jungwoo, alcohol consumption, marijuana usage, light flirting, honestly tho everyone is just shy and cute and silly
A few days before the party, you’d asked Jungwoo what kind of wine his roommate liked. Since it was a celebration, you figured you should at least bring a gift.
“He told me to tell you to not bring anything.”
“How could he even know?” You whine, incredulous.
“Because I know you and your habit of balling out on people who are being celebrated.”
There’s not much you can say to that. You are known to bring a nice bottle of something that suits the taste of the one being celebrated. You love to see the joy on someone’s face when they get a tailored gift.
It’s the least you could do for someone when you notice their hard work. It feels good to appreciate someone, especially a friend like Jungwoo. It’s only natural you’d extend the perks to his roommate, right?
“You talk to your roomie about me?” You coo, poking his cheek. Setting his coffee cup down, he nods, seemingly pleased to share this piece of information with you.
“In passing. I told him you were coming, that I invited your coworker, too. I’ve gushed about her to him a few times. He just kinda smiled? Not in a weird way. Like… I don’t know. He just stared at me for a few seconds. Then he said he was happy to hear that. So-“
“Sounds like he’s in full support.”
Jungwoo smiles, bringing the cup back to his lips. Then he gives you a sly look over the rim before he speaks again.
“He also asked me about you.”
“What about me?”
“I guess I talk about you all the time, right? I told him about your art, all the art shows you’re in. I’m sure I’ve shown him a picture of you before, like from that time we went to the beach.”
“You showed your roommate my bikini photos?”
His eyes widen and he starts to immediately apologize when raise your hands to cut him off.
“Wait. Did he like them?”
“He… didn’t say much of anything if I’m being honest.”
“Oh.”
“Which doesn’t really mean anything, honestly. Sometimes he just doesn’t have anything to say.”
“…okay that’s a little better.”
It’s hard to imagine Jungwoo living with someone who doesn’t talk as much as he does.
The way you two often communicate is rapid-fire, dramatic, occasionally riffing off the other’s jokes. He likes to share his thoughts out loud and use you as a sounding board. You like to ramble about abstract art ideas and the special interest of the week.
Trying to picture your yap king living with someone who probably makes three facial expressions a year (says Jungwoo) makes you wish you could be a fly on the wall.
“How much have I told you about Jae? I know he’s always out, or at work so….”
His roommate’s name is Jaehyun. All you really know about him is that he’s close in age to Jungwoo, he used to be really competitive m, and that he has a cousin somewhere in Europe. Not much else past that.
“One time I was over you showed me a photo or two from when you guys were in high school. I’ve seen him in your stories too.”
“You said he was cute! I forgot about that.”
You recall a guy with dark hair and a cute bowl cut, wearing the same basketball jersey as Jungwoo. When you said cute, you were referring to their round faces and goofy hair cuts. The more recent pictures on Instagram were usually from an angle where you couldn’t really see his face, but he was always dressed nice from what you could tell.
“He was! Little cutie stranger man.”
There’s a beat.
“Okay, so about that. He’s was cute but now he’s, like, super handsome.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, he’s hot. Bulked up, started dressing nicer, smells good. His jawline is insane. He should actually model. I didn’t know he was going to look like that when we grew up, you know?” He shakes his head in disbelief.
“Damn, you ever told him all that?”
“All the time, actually. He’s so sick of me. At this point I’m just saying something that’s objectively true. You’d be lying if you thought he was ugly. So that being said-“
He whips his head towards you, you watch a plot and scheme form in his brain. His lips curl into something devilish.
“Careful not to fall in love with my roommate, yeah?”
You blink at him, two times. Three times.
“Huh?”
His words sounded like a warning, but it feels like he very much would prefer you do the opposite.
“I just feel like he’s someone you’d fall for.”
“You’ve never seen me fall for anyone. Not once since you’ve known me.”
“Exactly. Which is why I’m saying… I think you guys will get along well.”
“Don’t hope too hard, but I’m sure he’s lovely.”
Sighing, Jungwoo offers you a sympathetic look. You ignore it and instead check for any emails from the art festival you’re vending at later in the month. It’s not much help, as you can still feel his eyes on you.
“I think he’d be good for you.”
“I don’t think playing matchmaker with your friends is that good of an idea,” you clipped.
Right before you met Jungwoo in senior year of college, you’d been in a relationship that ended pretty badly. You were in love, and you think he was, too. At one point at least.
But when things run their course, and you stay in them too long, they start to drain you of everything.
You’d lost a lot of time and energy trying to be pretty enough, interesting enough, desirable enough to keep the spark alive. To keep his attention. But to no avail. It was like he was just waiting for you to leave.
After a while, feeling empty and settling for whatever he could toss your way was too much to bear. It was just time to let go.
It was hard when at the end, you realized he just didn’t love you like you loved him. But was too scared himself to be honest with you about it.
Heartbreak was one thing, but grieving a relationship that wasn’t all that real was another. It took you a long time to move through that pain.
Jungwoo watched you put a lot of effort into rebuilding your personality, your self worth, your confidence. He was nothing but supportive, as were your other friends, dragging you to every show in the city, joining you at a new cafe or listening to your new ideas about art you’d been neglecting. And Jungwoo’s friends were a wonderful addition to your life, as well.
It was beyond being choosy- you’d taken yourself out of the dating game altogether, focusing on work, art, your friends. Yourself.
Now you were very careful not to let anyone in and disrupt that. It’s been a beautiful life to fall back into; you’d hate to lose it to the wrong person.
Jungwoo is nothing but understanding still, squeezing your arm instead of pushing any further.
“Well, regardless, I know you’ll get along well. Even as friends.”
You roll your eyes at him, a small smile creeping back onto your face.
“Don’t look into his eyes, though, seriously. He’s something else.”
On the trip over to Jungwoos apartment your friend tells you about her day, catching you up on some work gossip and her roommates string of interesting dates.
She laughs at how engrossed you are in her words, loving how excited you are to listen to the tea. You’re asking questions, connecting dots. The entertainment is delicious.
“I’m never on shit, so I’m living vicariously through you guys,” you sigh.
“We’re on shit tonight! I’m excited to party with Jungwoo.”
You flit your eyes over to her. “Yeah?”
“Girl, yes. He seems like a good person to party with. He’s always so bubbly and sweet when we go out for coffee, and always supportive of you so he’s good in my book.”
You wish she knew why you were smiling so big.
“He is a sweetheart, and a wonderful friend. I feel like you guys will get along well, I’m surprised we haven’t all gone out before.”
Pulling your phone out, you open your camera to check for a lipgloss reapplication when text from Jungwoo comes through.
woo-ah: 🎶 what’s ur ETA?🎵
“C-can I be honest with you?”
Immediately you lock your phone, adjusting your body to give her your full attention.
“Of course you can.”
She glances towards the driver, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth like she’s telling you a juicy secret.
“I think he’s gorgeous.” Her cute confession has you both giggling like schoolgirls in the back of the rideshare. “Don’t tell him, please!”
“Babe, your secret is safe with me.” You pinch your fingers together, pretending to zip your lips. “You wanna hear a secret?”
Her eyes widen in anticipation.
“I think he thinks you’re cute, too.”
“Shut up, no way!”
“Let’s just say I have insider info.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
you: appx 4 min 🤠
woo-ah: 🪩🕺🫶🏼
You lock arms with your friend as you lead the way into the apartment building, being here enough times to know what floor and that the right elevator is faster than the left.
She’s talking about the book her roommate just recommended her as you get to Jungwoos floor. You even ask her to send you a text, saying that she should start a bookclub as you rap your knuckles on the door.
Jungwoo opens the door, moving to hug you both and welcome you into the apartment.
“Come in, come in!”
Music is playing from a speaker, and a chorus of voices comes from the living room.
You walk ahead of Jungwoo and your friend, who are exchanging thank you’s for invitations and gifts of alcohol, and a chorus of voices welcomes you in the living room.
Doyoung and Donghyuck practically race and slide around in their socks to hug you and kiss you on the forehead and you pull them in for a haphazard group hug.
“Long time no see!” Doyoung clasps his hands together. “It’s so nice to have us all together at one time.”
“What a mom, we’re here to get shitfaced.” Donghyuck teasing Doyoung is secretly something you live for, but you pretend to defend Doyoung from him.
“Let us get a few drinks in before you start shit talking him, damn!”
The guys make sure you’re introduced to the rest of their friends, the ones you haven’t had a chance to meet yet. You’ve heard all their names in conversation, usually when talking about some social event or fun times they had back in school. It was wonderful to finally put names to faces, and they were more than happy to do the same for you.
“Jungwoo finally brought you around!” Renjun and Jaemin cheer. “We’ve been wanting to meet you for so long.”
You blush under all the affection from them.
“I’m so glad to finally meet you guys.”
“Come on, you have to try the cocktail YangYang made.”
Dragging you into the kitchen, you’re flooded by more introductions, jokes and insanely loud laughter, and it feels like you’ve been doing this for years with them already.
YangYang passes you a glass, a sliced lemon garnishing the side and all. You take one sip, then immediately take another. “Wow, this is delicious. Thank you!”
“There are three kinds of liquors in there,” he says, shooting you an apologetic look. “All light, but they told me I had to get everyone drunk, so-“
Before he can even try to apologize, stop him.
“That’s my kind of drink, then!” And you propose a toast with whoever’s in the kitchen.
The cheers begin to die down when someone walks into the kitchen.
Jungwoo has a lot of attractive friends. You knew this from the jump. He’s a model, he had model friends, friends who were in entertainment and the arts. From seeing whoever was on his Instagram story every few weeks, to getting drinks with everyone else occasionally, you’d gotten very used to being surrounded by pretty men.
Jungwoo did not prepare you well enough for Jeong Jaehyun.
“It’s our boy! Congratulations!”
The kitchen erupts into more greetings and well wishes as the man of the hour had just arrived. You sit back as everyone moves into pat him on the back, hug him or, like Donghyuck, kiss him right on the cheek.
Everyone’s voices just turn into background noise as you take him in.
He smiles the most beautiful smile you’ve ever been blessed enough to witness, and you have to force yourself to take a large sip of your drink so not to gawk at him.
Renjun and Jaemin motion for you to come closer, and you use the one solid second you have to steel your nerves as you step closer to them.
Jaemin slings his arm around you. “Jae, have you met our girl yet?”
Renjun playfully shakes his arm. “Jungwoo has been keeping her from us for eons.”
Jaehyun takes a step closer to you. He’s tall, much taller than you, so you have to tilt your head back to fully look at him.
And what a sight to see.
Jaehyun smiles again, a little shy but just for you. His eyes crinkle at the corners, smile so sincere and kind like he’s smiling at someone he’s known for years.
Extending his hand out to you, he wants to greet you properly. Shakily you place your smaller hand in his. But instead of shaking your hand, he uses both hands to gently hold it.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.”
The baritone voice almost knocks you on your ass.
Taking take a moment to will some confidence, some chill to come through when you speak, you swallow and push your shoulders back.
“You as well, Jaehyun. It’s been a long time coming, yeah?”
It’s taking everything in you to sound normal and relaxed, unfazed by this man.
He cocks his head to the side and laughs, his nose crinkling and smile lines that resemble whiskers making themselves visible. The sight makes your head spin.
“A very long time.” He releases your hand, and you place it against the side of your glass hoping it will absorb some of the heat from the exchange. “Thank you for coming.”
With your resolve expiring in seconds, you’re so thankful for Jungwoo making his way into the kitchen. While he introduces your work friend to Jaehyun, you shuffle out the kitchen alongside Renjun and Jaemin.
You sit on the armrest of the couch, listening to them bicker over what game the party should play first, remembering how to breathe.
Jaehyun quietly settles into a chair for one close to you, tuning into the commotion. He doesn’t make a move towards you, and you’re glad even if just for a moment. Out the corner of your eye, you take him in.
Handsome isn’t the right word to use, you think. He’s dressed clean and simple, nice jeans and a white t-shirt. The side profile is something unreal, perfect chiseled features but his face still soft and welcoming. His dark hair is slightly pushed back, a few stands falling over his forehead. He leans forward to tap Jaemin on the shoulder, complimenting him on ‘how big he’s gotten’ at the gym, with the younger preening under his praise.
Just in the short time in the same room, it’s clear that Jaehyun is like a big brother. And from what Jungwoo has told you is super sweet and caring. That alone makes you want to know him more, and makes him all the more attractive.
Looking over at you, he offers you a small smile which you mirror to avoid coming off as awkward. Noticing that you are both nursing the same drink, he raises his glass towards you for a small toast.
“To you and the summer,” you offer, raising your glass as you do so.
“I can drink to that.”
You take another large swig of your drink, hoping after the third your nerves can handle more than two sentences next time.
It’s silly, you think, to be this affected by a man. An attractive one, yes. But just a man. A friend of a friend, even.
Jungwoo’s words echo in the back of your mind, that he thought you and Jaehyun would get along well. Part of you doesn’t want to prove him right, but another part of you wonders if getting along with Jaehyun wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
So you try your best to start and make conversation.
“I heard about your promotion, congratulations!”
“Ah thank you,” he says, smiling into his cup. “It’s actually more of a career change.”
“Really? What are you going to be doing?”
He takes a minute to respond, and for a moment you wonder if he even heard in the first place. Before you can repeat yourself, however, he’s speaking again.
“I’m… writing music. Singing some, too. For me and for others.” He points over his shoulder with his thumb. “I’ll be working with Taeyong a lot, in his studio.”
Eyebrows raising, you lean in a bit.
“You sing, Jaehyun?”
“Sometimes.” He takes a drink. “I write stories on artists, interview people in music. Do some editing. The company I work for was really cool about letting me try different things, I really liked working for them.”
There’s a moment where you’re not sure if he’s going to speak again, and right when you think you should ask another question he continues.
“But I always wanted to sing my own songs, produce my own work. My current line of business has its perks, a lot of connections too. So I’ve been working on my own stuff on the side.”
You didn’t peg him as someone in performance- he’s so pretty you’re surprised he isn’t a model or an actor honestly. But he doesn’t seem to be anything anyone would think at first glance.
“That’s so exciting. Especially working with friends, I like Taeyongie’s music. And ’m really happy to hear you’re able to chase after your dream.”
“Thank you, I’m excited to share.”
He looks at you through his eyelashes as he takes another drink.
So we’re both trying to numb our nerves, you thought to yourself.
“I hope I get to hear some music from you soon.”
He casts another smile your way, and that’s when you know the liquor is kicking in because it doesn’t send you reeling this time.
“I hope you do, too. Soon.”
“Shots?”
Everyone gathers around in the living room, passing small glasses around to those partaking in alcoholic festivities tonight. You pass one to Jaehyun, who holds it up against the light.
“I haven’t taken a shot in a long time.”
“I got you the good shit, Jae.” Jungwoo holds up two expensive bottles. “Whiskey? Or gin?”
“Oh shit… let’s do the gin. Sticking with lights tonight.”
He asks for your preference, and you do the same.
Jungwoo opens the bottle of gin and pours the first round of shots for the night. After he pours his own, he holds his glass up for a toast.
“I know this is, like, the fourth toast of the night but it probably won’t be the last if I’m being honest.”
Taeyong groans. “I’m betting on at least seven in total.”
“Those are rookie numbers,” YangYang yells out, the younger boys cackling and suggesting higher numbers.
“Anyway!” Jungwoo bangs the gin bottle on the coffee table. “This is the emotional one. It’s the end of the summer and I hate to see her go. But we’re moving into fall, and falling into our new lives-“
Donghyuck pretends to yawn.
“Dude shut up, it’s just Jaehyun-”
“I’m not finished!” And he taps the bottle again, your head falling against the back of the couch in silent laughter. “Thank you all for being part of another summer and thank you guys for coming to celebrate one of my closest, oldest friends.”
“Literally.”
Doyoung throws a pillow at Donghyuck and motions for Jungwoo to continue.
Jungwoo turns to Jaehyun, who’s made his way onto the couch alongside you and your friend. “I’m happy to see you make your wildest dreams come true. I can’t wait to see you become the sexy superstar you were always meant to be. Cheers!”
The room is full of cheers and then groans from knocking back shots with no chasers, but it’s a pleasant burn as it slides down your throat.
You blow a kiss at Jungwoo, wiping a fake tear from your eye. “Your speech was beautiful. Very moving.”
The next hour is filled with mini beer pong (players had to sip water instead of alcohol, many thanks to Doyoung), stories about the boys time in school or how some of them met their partners, and shared soju.
The boys complain that he’ll cheat if he plays so instead Jaehyun shares a strong bottle of peach soju, his favorite, with you and your coworker.
At first, it’s very cute to just watch Jaehyun laugh at all of his friends antics. He enjoys listening, occasionally cracking a few jokes or making funny noises. But he’s more than happy to settle back into the couch and observe.
But he’s also big on being a good host, even if he’s the one being celebrated- if he isn’t offering you another drink he’s offering to grab something from the kitchen for you. They’re small but clear gestures to make sure his couch neighbors are as comfortable as he is.
He’s laid back and quiet but attentive- it has you swooning a bit. It’s a contrast to the rest of the men in the apartment, who are also sweet but characteristically loud and rambunctious. You love it, but it’s fascinating to watch Jaehyun hum and giggle to himself rather than dominate a conversation.
After you clear the second soju bottle and Jungwoo has wedged himself between you and your friend, you think you hear Jaehyun giggle beside you.
“What’s so funny?” You laugh, setting the empty bottle down on the coffee table.
He just shrugs, cheeks beginning to flush from the alcohol. He’s pretty like this, you think.
“Are you a silly drunk, Jae?” You tease, catching the attention of Donghyuck.
“Oh man, he’s gonna start getting real silly soon.” The younger man comes to sit on the armrest closest to Jaehyun, affectionately brushing his hair off his forehead. He weakly tries to swat Donghyucks hand away.
“I’m not silly,” he tries to argue, way too cute and whiny compared to the man you met just two hours ago.
“You’re sooo silly right now,” Donghyuck laughs. “She’s going to have to take care of you soon!”
His eyebrows shoot up and he tries to sit straighter, attempting to coolly settle against the back of the couch. “No, no. I’m fine. I’m-“
“Come get some air with us!” Jaemin and Donghyuck pull him up by his arms, with little to no resistance from Jaehyun. He just rolls his eyes as they pull him to his feet.
Jaemin cheers, pushing him towards the sliding door to the deck.
Looking over his shoulder, he nods at you. “Need anything while I’m up?”
You wave him off towards the door.
“No, I’m okay. Go get some air.”
With you beaming up at him, Jaehyun swears the room has gotten a few degrees hotter. The air will do him good.
Jaehyun finds you in the kitchen later, just finishing one of the cookies someone brought. You pass one to him and he finishes it in one bite.
“How many drinks in are you?”
“Shit… I’m at about four. Not including that shot.”
“I think I’m at about the same,” he says, shuffling closer to you at the kitchen island overlooking the living room.
There’s a moment of silence that you share, watching all of his and Jungwoos friends (and yours now) fill up the apartment with laughter (and some screaming- Renjun set Mario Kart up on the tv).
Your heart swells knowing how loved Jungwoo is, as well as Jaehyun.
But then it dawns on you that you haven’t seen Jungwoo or your friend in a while. Before you can mention that to Jaehyun, he bumps his hip against yours.
The alcohol might not have been enough to turn the alarms off in your brain yet, but your body is slow to react to him essentially snuggling into your side. He’s warm, and he smells warm too. Like a vanilla candle. There’s something else you can’t place, but it’s more than pleasant.
“I have to tell you a secret.” He whispers, and it’s cute and kind of whiny.
“A secret?” You say, barely over a whisper. He nods slowly, looking into the crowd.
He can’t see shit, in all honesty.
“I may or may not be a little crossed.”
“That’s what I smell on you?”
“Shit, is it bad?” Just like that, he’s a little more self conscious than he is silly. He smells his shirt in a few different places, earning a laugh from you.
“No, you’re fine. It’s because you’re so close that I can smell it.” He sighs and laughs almost at himself. “Is that where you and the boys went?”
“Yeah. I don’t usually smoke but it’s something like a special occasion.”
“Absolutely it is. You deserve it.”
He simply hums, letting a a few seconds pass before he speaks again.
“You smoke?”
“Weed? Rarely.”
“Cigs?”
“Not once in my life.”
“Good for you, we’re all nicotine addicts in here.”
“Vape away, I could never judge.”
At that you both turn towards the other at the same time, chests inches apart.
His eyes are low from the weed, the whites tinted red. He’s looking down at you, a silly, boyish grin on his lips. You can’t help but blush under his gaze, lips curving into a grin of their own.
“Thanks for coming tonight.” His voice is soft, barely audible. You feel yourself subconsciously leaning into him, wishing to hear him a little louder.
“Of course, I had to support the homie. And play wingman.”
He tilts his head back to glance around the room , the realization hitting him then.
“Oh shit, I haven’t seen them in a while.”
“Then I guess I did a good job. I barely did anything but whatever.”
He laughs, voice deep and rumbly. “You did great.”
He leans onto the counter, his arm resting closing to where your hip sits against the edge. He slowly shifts his eyes back over to you, looking over your frame. Just once, even his sluggish brain is careful not to get ahead of itself.
“I’m glad we finally got to meet.”
“I am too.” Your skin is on fire under his intense gaze. It’s not so much intense as it is just so warm, so amiable. You deflect to take some of the heat off of you, quite literally. “Jungwoo talks about you all the time.”
“Yeah? What does he say?”
That you’re so fucking handsome and I’d be stupid to lie and disagree.
“That you don’t say too much, but you’re a really good friend.”
A surprised look washed over his face, then he turns sheepish.
“He’s…… that’s sweet of him.” Jaehyun rubs the back of his neck, thinking on his next words as carefully as his crossed mind will allow him. “I’m glad you’re his friend. He needs someone like you.”
You tilt your head to the side.
“What do you mean?”
“Someone who isn’t as shy as him.”
“Haha, you think I don’t get shy?” It’s funny when you think back on how nerve wracking is was to shake his hand for the first time.
But he’s just giving you this knowing look now, a ghost of a smirk at the corner of his lips.
“If you do, you hide it well.” You could scream. Can he see right through you? “But seriously. You push him to do well.”
Jaehyun is slow to speak, but even inebriated he’s intentional. Something you’ve learned in just the past few hours about him is that it may take him a while to get his thoughts out, but it’s more than worth it to hear what he has to say.
You hang on to every pause like your life depends on it, eager to hear what comes out of his mouth next.
“Before you guys worked together, he was a lot more… reserved. And passive? Like, he’s good at everything he does. We know this. But… he never really sought recognition.”
“You’re right. But he deserves it.”
He nods while he thinks on his next words.
“Yeah. I remember in school he was just happy to pass and be included in things. Never attracted much attention to himself. Never wanted to be in the spotlight. But since working with you, he’s become proud of the work he does. His confidence has grown. He’s louder. Funnier. You pushed him a lot.”
“That’s all him, he works hard-“
“He does, you pushed him though. When he finally started modeling last year all he could do was say how thankful he was for you. How you encouraged him, helped him with headshots. Went shopping with him and made sure he felt good going into auditions. And it took off.”
Your breath catches in your throat.
“He… he said that? Really?”
“He did. You’ve been a very good friend to him.”
Blinking away the tears that started to pinprick behind your eyes, you smile at Jaehyun whose own eyes are filled with mirth. Even cross faded, Jaehyun’s words were so sincere and kind.
“Are you crying?”
You sniffle, using your thumbs to collect any tears in the corner of your eyes so not to ruin your makeup.
“I was gonna but I’m okay.”
He laughs that hearty laugh again and ruffles your hair. It’s such a small gesture, but so comfortable. Domestic even. Like you’ve been friends for years. It makes your heart even fuller than it already is and if he keeps it up, it’ll burst before the end of the night.
The alcohol coursing through you is doing nothing but spread this warmth, double time. Happiness feels good coursing through you.
“Let’s get some water, yeah?” He cocks his head toward the fridge. “Doyoung brought some sparkling water.”
You begin to follow him as he takes a few steps backwards. “What flavor?”
“We have…” He starts, opening the door to the fridge. “I can barely see. Wow.”
“Move, I’ll look.”
You hip check him out of the way, and hear someone come into the kitchen behind you.
“I’m no better, but this looks like ginger peach. And calamansi.”
“Pass me a calamansi, please? You want a sparkling water, Taeyong?”
“Do you think it’s a good mixer for gin?” He asks, loud enough for someone in the living room to hear.
Then, that someone yells out: “Another round of shots?”
Laughing, you hand Jaehyun his sparkling water, and pass a ginger and peach flavored water to Taeyong. “Let’s find out, yeah?”
More cheering is heard as you shuffle back into the living room and let Doyoung pour the next round of shots.
He’s a sweetheart and pours the shots right into you and Taeyongs cans, Jaehyun sneakily placing a sealed water bottle next to your foot.
It’s well into the night, the hour a single digit when the party starts to die down.
Jungwoo is in the loveseat for one and a half, your friend snuggled into his side.
You’ve found yourself back on the couch with Jaehyuns head resting on your shoulder and one of his legs swung over Taeyongs. Miraculously, Donghyuck has found a way to lay across you all comfortably.
“I’m going to order a ride home for us soon,” your friend says through a yawn. Donghyuck is already whining, earning some light smacks from the older boys under him.
“We’re so comfy, why would you want to mess up our cuddle pile?
“I’m not cuddling, I’m being leaned on,” you tease, grinning down at Jaehyun who can barely hold his eyes open. He’s trying his best to focus on one of your faces because he sees three, but he’s not complaining.
“Hm… my bad.” He moves to sit up, but Donghyuck just nestles into him even further, and Jaehyun can’t seem to muster up enough strength to (care) knock him into the floor. “I really… I really did try.”
Jaehyun has hit peak silly hours. From little hums and cute noises to the worst dad jokes you’ve heard in a while, you understand what Donghyuck meant earlier. Jaemin and Jungwoo even got him to cutely pose for drunk selfies earlier.
Laughing through your nose, you use the hand that’s free to reach around and pat his cheek affectionately. In this state he instinctually leans into your touch, humming in approval. You have to fight the urge to squeeze his cheeks. “Jae you gonna be alright?”
“I told you she was going to have to take care of you!” At that, he and Taeyong had enough and pushed him into the floor. He lets out a squawk as his body hits the ground with a light thud. “Fuck. It’s comfier down here anyway.”
Jungwoo slowly stands up, helping your friend to her feet. “So Donghyuck is sleeping here, literally right there. No blanket. I don’t want to see you using something weird as a replacement either.”
While the boys still present start to bicker some more, Jaehyun taps your knee to get your attention.
“I’ll be okay. Just got a little carried away.”
“You’re okay. Let’s get you to bed then?”
His eyes open a little wider, mouth parting to say something. You wait.
“Are you staying over?”
“No I’m going home tonight.”
He pouts, and it almost sends you to another dimension.
“Aw don’t make that face, I’ll be back soon.”
“Okay. Good.”
You call to Taeyong, who really isn’t that much better, but he does help you get Jaehyun off the couch and down the hall to his bedroom.
You let Taeyong handle the hard part of getting him out of his jeans and under the covers, heading to the kitchen to fill a glass of water. “Jungwoo, you have any painkiller?”
“In that drawer by the stove.” He stands beside you in the kitchen. “For Jae?”
“Yeah. You want any water?”
“Nah I was good tonight. I’ll be okay.” He purses his lips. “You’re sweet for that. Taking care of him.”
“I’m not doing anything I wouldn’t do for you.”
“I know… exactly what I mean.” You shake your head and walk to Jaehyun’s room, entering while Taeyong exits.
“He’s decent, just whiny.”
“Thank you, I’ll just leave this for him then.”
You approach the side of the bed where he’s sprawled out, eyes barely open but you can see them following you even in the dark.
“Brought you some water. And some painkiller. Take it when you can, yeah?”
“Hm. Tell Jungwoo to give Hyuck a blanket.”
You chuckle and ruffle his hair before moving to leave.
“Have a good night, Jaehyun.”
“Hmm…”
unknown number: hey it’s jaehyun
unknown number: jungwoo gave me your number. thanks for coming yesterday. don’t be a stranger!
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askthefamous8 · 1 day ago
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Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!
So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.
• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent
The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.
.
Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.
Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago
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I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.
On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.
I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.
So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.
If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years
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formylovetodaryldixon · 2 days ago
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"The truth - Part 2." Daryl Dixon imagine.
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(Not my gif)
Alone in the place she always loved, Daryl finally tells her the words he always wanted to say to her. Will he finally be able to propose to her?
You can read part 1 here "The truth - Part 1." And if you want to read about their daughter, you can do it here "My everything." and "For life."
A/N: For my part, my stories will always have a happy ending, so you know what to expect hehe sorry to use she again! (This is probably really cheesy, but what can i say? I love cheesy things) Also, i used the word cockblocker, sorry!
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A younger version of (Y/N) sat in the bar, leaving her backpack on the floor before asking for a drink: but because she was ignoring the world around her, lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the curious gaze of the young man a few steps away.
Daryl blinked taking in all of her, because she was pretty, like, beautiful, and so interesting to look at with her gaze in her open book, part of her hair covering her face with an attractive concentration on it. He squinted: because in that part of the country there were only mountains, forests and miles of open countryside —Not to mention the occasional crime, so it was strange for him to find someone like her in that boring but dangerous place.
But she looked like a mystery, like a piece of art in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly, he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
Every now and then, Daryl turns a little bit to steal glances at her.
The open road is about to end in a few minutes, and Daryl, in the company of his thoughts, feels a certain sadness for having to wake her up. With her arm resting on the window, her cheek pressing against her hand and part of her hair covering her face, he can't help but imagine her back as that person, only younger, that he met at the bar that night. Despite the time, she was still the same, maybe with some monsters in her mind and a slightly heavier backpack to carry on her shoulders, (however, everyone had them), but, even so, (Y/N) hadn't lost her essence, always being the same strong but caring person.
When those minutes alone are over, Daryl turns off the car's engine and turns to her.
“Peach? Hey, we're here.” He moves her gently, his voice deep but full of affection. “Open yer eyes, sweetheart.”
His voice brings her back to reality, and (Y/N) opens her eyes slowly. It is not yet dawn and the shadows of the night are not yet swallowed by the bright sun, but when she looks to her right, the unmistakable sound of the waves roaring and crashing against the shore immediately attracts her attention. It is then that she realizes where she is: near a beach that smells of salt —of salt, freedom and of inner peace; because for her, the beach had a unique and wonderful feel, because it was wild and noisy, and in a way she always thought it was a good rest for an exhausted body and a cornered mind.
“Hey, you’ve got to be kidding me.” (Y/N) says softly and smiles breathlessly at him before looking out the window again, her eyes filling with life.
At that small gesture that fills his world, his chest swells with joy, with a nervous tickle reminding him that he’s still alive, and that she’s still alive too. Daryl smiles a little, and his features soften like when he’s not scared or angry, but deep down, he’s clear that it’s all because of her.
“C’mon. It’s almost dawn.”
He grabs his backpack and crossbow from the back seat as (Y/N) opens her own door, waiting for him to be by her side to walk, their boots gently sinking into the sand. The shore is clear, he made sure of that. When they reach the place close to the edge where the waves end, Daryl makes a bold move and takes (Y/N)’s hand, the hand where the ring would be if she said yes, just to help her sit down.
“Aren’t you a gentleman?” She teases him, making him snort. But once there, waiting for the sun to wake up and shine on them again, (Y/N) looks in his direction. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I did.” Daryl replies quietly, looking into her eyes as well. “It’s been years since I took ya to the beach.”
For (Y/N), when her fears and insecurities overflowed the edge of her life and turned against her, suffocating and dangerous, her heart and mind searched for the nearest beach, if there was one nearby at that moment of anguish, because she would always found a warm refuge in the landscape that seemed to protect her like an umbrella every time a storm fell over the sky of her life. And he knew that, because he was the only one she told it to.
“…besides…” Daryl clears his throat, hoping not to sound as nervous as he is. “I hope ya know I will always care about ya, peach, that I will keep ya safe, even if ya can do it too.”
But in order not to fall too deep into silence, he takes something from his backpack and hands it to her, making her chuckle. (Y/N) looks at the fruit in her hand for a moment, and then her gaze turns back to him.
“You know? At first I thought you were making fun of me when you started calling me peach.”
Daryl chuckles, too.
“Have I ever made fun of ya? But to be honest with ya, I thought that if I did, ya would threaten to shoot me like ya did with ma brother.”
(Y/N) laughs.
“Him, maybe, but never you.” She looks away from him, focusing on the horizon that is about to change color.
Her heart races, innocently wondering if those words were somehow an attempt at flirting. But (Y/N) tries to let her nervousness dissipate when the first rays of the sun reach freedom, shining in the distance. For her, it is beautiful to witness that spectacle again in a world where beauty had been lost in the passage of time, the constant danger and deaths, but what (Y/N) ignores at that moment, is Daryl's gaze on her, observing her profile, part of her hair that frames her face, because for him, she is the true spectacle there, worthy of being admired with devotion.
“Ya miss it?” Daryl asks after a while, making her look at him. “Ya miss the life we ​​had? The old apartment we shared?”
For a moment, the best times flash before her eyes.
“Yes, I do. Believe it or not, I liked the place, but I like the memories we made there more. You offered me a new life without knowing anything about me, a chance to start over, so, I felt like I had it all. But, you’re still here with me; maybe that’s why that feeling hasn’t changed.”
Daryl tries to say something, the beginning of a monologue he had prepared all the way there, but the moment her gaze leaves him to look back ahead, cruelly, the words threaten to die on his lips. His chest falls in defeat as he gives a deep exhale, which makes him question if he will be able to say it all.
Strike one.
After a while, she speaks again. However, she is nervous and unsure of bringing up that topic now, at that moment, but the thought is like a thorn in her finger, making her feel uncomfortable.
“Do you remember when we were at the prison?” (Y/N) looks back at him, trying not to laugh, and Daryl raises his gaze from the sand until he meets hers. “When Sean started… flirting with me I guess, and when you called me out on it, I told you that you were being a cockblocker…” (Y/N) lets out a small laugh, but she sees that he doesn’t find it that funny, so she tries to keep her composure, even though the memory and that word amuses her. “Do you think… you could do it again? This time for real.”
It doesn’t take long for Daryl to realize who she’s talking about: Spencer.
“Is that asshole giving ya trouble?” His brow furrows instantly, and a murderous look floods Daryl’s blue eyes.
“No! It’s not that, it’s just that…” (Y/N) frowns as well, as a thoughtful expression takes place on her face. “I don’t know how to turn him down without hurting his ego or something. I don’t know him that well, but he seems like the kind of person who’s pretty insistent until he gets what he wants, and somehow, Spencer thinks that…”
“He can get ya too.” Daryl says bitterly, but, even though in a few seconds he manages to calm down, a part of him can’t help but speak his thoughts out loud, with a somewhat accusatory tone. “I thought ya were interested in him.”
(Y/N) frowns.
“What gave you that idea?”
Daryl can’t help the jealousy on the tip of his tongue as he looks her straight in the eyes before answering, with that cold gaze he used to hold to protect himself from the pain.
“Dunno. Ya seemed very friendly with him these months since we got there.”
That accusatory tone doesn’t go unnoticed by her, and for a moment, (Y/N) is incredulous, as if his words weren’t real, but she knows they are. After so many years by his side, even though they weren’t together, (Y/N) had learned to read him like the books she used to read in the past. And although Daryl was and still is like a mystery, with that reserved personality of his, (Y/N) was able to see through him.
Jealousy is a powerful force.
“Are you accusing me of something, Daryl? Because as far as I remember, being friendly with the neighbors isn’t a crime.”
She’s challenging him, Daryl can see it clearly, because she knew very well that she hadn’t done anything wrong, that it was all in his imagination, that she had nothing to be ashamed of.
“No…” It’s then that his gaze softens, only because he knows he’s acting irrationally, because it’s his fear of losing her completely that drives him to behave like this. “Jus'… sorry. Jus' forget about it.”
Now it’s his gaze that abandons her.
Strike two.
After a long while, like an hour or two maybe, (Y/N) feels that the sea, which she had always believed to be therapeutic, had managed to take away all the bad and sad things that lived in her, the bad thoughts, the guilt, the losses, the deaths, leaving her only with a renewing feeling. And although (Y/N) knew well that that feeling would go away at some point, she is at peace with it lasting at least during the way back home.
If she could call it home.
“We should go now…” (Y/N) stands up, not looking him directly in the eyes this time. “I told Denise that we wouldn’t take long and we still have medicine from the last run that we have to organize.”
In that instant, Daryl feels that his only opportunity slips through his hands, like the sand that slips through his fingers, but he feels that something has changed in her, about him, something that only he could perceive. This time, (Y/N) takes a few steps forward as he gathers his things before standing up, walking behind her, watching her hair as it is swayed by the gentle morning breeze.
His heart beats with an overwhelming force, as if it threatened to stop at any moment, and his worst fears take shape before his eyes. Daryl was always a strong man, physically, but his insecurities were his weak point, a detail that he knew how to mask well until she came into his life, and then the incessant fear of feeling insufficient for her ate away at his soul, taking away the little sleep he once managed to get.
But Carol was right, he had to do it now, before she really lost hope in him, before she undertand it was time to move on.
It takes Daryl only a few steps to reach her, and his free hand catches hers, at the same time his body sticks to hers to prevent her from turning to look at him, dropping his things to the side. For a second, (Y/N) is startled, and her body flinches slightly as she feels his face hidden in her hair, something he used to do all the time since they were together.
“Please, jus'… listen to what I have to tell ya, okay? But don’t turn around yet. And if after that, yer answer is no, I want ya to know I always loved ya. Back then, now, and for the rest of ma life. I’m sorry I never told ya that before.” Daryl pulls away a little, his hand still holding hers. His voice is low, somewhat nervous, and maybe even unsure, because the constant fear still appears in front of him, more fearsome than a walker. “Ma life before ya was a fuckin' mess, I lived part of ma life without a purpose, jus' survivin' one more day, but when ya came along… ya were like that first ray of sunlight when it rises on the horizon, like that first breath after being submerged in the water for too long. With ya I felt alive, but I could never tell ya that I loved ya 'cause I always felt that ya deserved somethin' better than me. Hell, I still believe that, but the idea of ​​losin' ya is worse. I want to be with ya for as long as we can be alive in this world. I love ya for who ya are, peach, for yer stubbornness, for yer strength, but also for how sweet ya are, with our family, n’ with me. I want to hug ya, kiss ya, hold yer hand n' be able to be at least a little bit of that man that ya always saw in me…”
Daryl lets go of her hand, and (Y/N) waits for a moment, for something, she doesn’t quite know what, some hint that tells her she can turn around maybe. And when his voice calls her again, she turns slowly, with fear in her racing heart, but in the midst of that immensity that used to steal her breath, seeing Daryl with one knee in the sand and a ring in his hand has the same effect on her, in a totally different way.
“What are you…?”
Daryl’s hair covers part of his eyes, but she can see the nervousness and sincerity in them.
“Marry me, peach, I can’t promise ya a fairy tale, but I can promise ya that I will love ya for the rest of ma life.”
His words travel through her, right to her heart, and (Y/N) fights back the sudden tears that she refuses to let fall at that moment, overwhelmed by his sudden confession just when she had thought that they would never, ever be together again. Her thoughts travel at the speed of a train, but she knows well that there is only one correct answer.
Then, (Y/N) nods and a soft smile appears on her lips.
“Of course i will marry you.”
It was a truth that Daryl didn’t smile much, because unfair adversity never played in his favor, so he hadn’t had many real moments to do so, but in that instant, as he stands, he finds it easy to lift her into his arms, her legs around his waist and her warm hands on his cheeks as she leans in to kiss him, and he, responds with the same fervor.
In that moment, Daryl feels, for the first time in his life, what it’s like to be truly happy.
“I love ya.” He says between kisses. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”
“It’s okay. You’re lucky I’ve always been way more patient than you.” (Y/N) chuckles still close to his mouth, giving him another kiss before saying the words he’s dying to hear. “I love you too.”
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chaifootsteps · 2 days ago
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anon who talked about the show being uncomfortable addressing the full moon, part 3!
I think part of the reason I'm not convinced Stolas has learnt anything, on top of everything else I mean
is when Blitzo does the roleplay thing or even the morning after when he comes onto Stolas again
Stolas never once asks 'do you actually want that? or do you just think that's what I want and you still think you need to please me sexually?' he never bothers thinking about the effects his actions have had on Blitzo, because he can barely bring himself to actually acknowledge what he's done. as long as he can reframe the monthly hookups as romantic nights that were the only spark of joy in his miserable life, he can ignore that from Blitzo's perspective it was just about sex because that was all Stolas ever wanted and used him for
if he really thought Blitzo was there as a prisoner, you'd think he'd be more concerned that Blitzo was the one who'd been acting the entire time because he thought he had to please his jailer. which Stolas is - if Blitzo is the prisoner that makes Stolas the jailer. especially since Blitzo's immediate response to Stolas' confession is assuming it's roleplaying and being like 'never done this before but I can improv it'
that's the response of someone who has spent a long time doing whatever someone else wants to keep the lights on that it's basically an automatic response by now
but Stolas doesn't care about that, or at least not as much as he does getting Blitzo to be his boyfriend immediately. he doesn't care about why Blitzo jumps to a roleplay response and he doesn't care about Blitzo's incredulous little 'wait, you were serious?'
instead he takes offense because he deluded himself into believing there was something more than sex and it hurts his feelings when he has it shoved in his face that no, he was lying to himself the whole time. that's why the rant of incredulity about 'I've wanted you for so long but that you couldn't believe I might have these feelings, that you make it all about sex'
the idea that he's treated Blitzo as a sextoy doesn't matter in the way it would for a normal person - that he's done wrong by someone else and needs to fix it. it only matters because it blocks him getting what he wants i.e. romantic love from someone who will drop everything to fulfil his childish fantasies
Bingo. He didn't really care about whether he was keeping Blitzo as a sexual slave and whether that made him a monster, only the possibility that it would prevent him from getting the fairy tale romance he wanted. And when sure enough, it did, he threw a raging temper tantrum and trashed Blitzo in private and public.
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sarbear94 · 1 day ago
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Because Evan-
(It’s a long one…sorry not sorry 😘)
Okay…. I’ve been rewatching some old Buddie scenes because of the potential of Eddie moving back to El Paso and…. excuse my language but…. What the fuck?
It’s like the writers are new or don’t know what to do with Eddie anymore. Or like someway, somehow the episodes are out of order.
In THAT scene, Buck asks “he has grandparents, family” and Eddie reply’s “After Shannon left, they tried to guilt me into giving Christopher to them. It wasn’t what I wanted then, it’s not what I want now.” They then both agreed that no one would fight harder for Chris than Buck.
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So WHY THE FUCK haven’t either of them gotten him back yet??
Eddie started season 7 with Marisol and Chris and everyone’s fine. Then Chris is dating multiple girls (Eddie is baffled and doesn’t know how to handle it so he asks Buck for help) and said it has to do with his mom to Buck and we get that EMOTIONAL shot of Eddie devastated after hearing this. Then proceeds to give him a letter to bring about closure for him. Eddie seemed to already have closure or at least repressed it.
Then Eddie meets Kim…. And the Eddie we have loved for 6 seasons is IMMEDIATELY GONE. He does the exact same thing that he told Buck about Christopher was not okay And needed to be fixed (he was BEGGING Buck for help).
Like, my dude, how did you think this was gonna go? You kept everyone in the dark. Your son, your best friend, your GIRLFRIEND and even Kim! What was his end goal? It doesn’t make any sense.
Like I understand that if Gavin wasn’t gonna be around next season, and you need to write him off but have him potentially come back, there were several ways you could have done that but still kept true to the characters. Have Chris go to a boarding school. Or a school trip. Or literally ANYTHING ELSE! Then season 8, keep the Kim storyline, but Chris is already gone and doesn’t witness it. Cause now that whole confession thing with Kim pretending to be Shannon and actually get closure was pointless. If they’d done that with Chris gone, he’d have the closure. Work on the PTSD crawling back up in an empty house, keep the Priest and finding Joy and then keep that for a bit and then heal.
That was a whole side tangent really for the main point I was trying to make, but why does Eddie- lose Chris, grow a mustache, grieve for not having his son, have an episode where a Priest says “let yourself have Joy,” then take it away in the next couple of episodes by saying “I’m thinking of moving to Texas” based on the words of a psycho actor??
Chris is a TEENAGER! Hell- he might still be a preteen, grow the fuck up and go parent your son. You’ve put your foot down before, why is this any different?? After a few weeks, I would have been like “nope, we’re done with this. I get I fucked up, but I’m still your dad so we are gonna talk about this and figure out some common ground.” I understand feeling guilty and not wanting to push him even farther away but you’re not even trying! Phone calls don’t show “I want you here with me,” it says “I’m okay with you being gone.”
You’re thinking moving to El Paso is a great idea… but it’s not. Your parents suck. You know this. YOU MOVED HALF WAY ACROSS THE US TO GET AWAY FROM THEM FOR A REASON! I get you patched things up slightly, but not enough.
ALSO! Why wasn’t Buck an option?!? Because of Tommy? I get because Gavin being out of the show(temporarily?) would have made that impossible but why wasn’t it even mentioned? I mean, He’s run to him before, he’s called him when Eddie had his breakdown and Chris didn’t know what to do. But like THEY HAD THE WILL, why wasn’t it even a factor in this. At the time, it felt like, at least to Chris, that Eddie was incapable of taking care of him, which means that Chris should go to Buck. Not his grandparents.
I just don’t understand what they are doing with these two. E and C. Bucks got his bisexual journey(relationship with Tommy). Bobby has multiple storylines. The Hans had the Mara and new baby storylines. Hen and Karen had the Ortiz/Mara and Denny/Halloween storylines. Athena has literally any storyline involving cops. And all those storylines make sense for each character. Eddie’s and Chris’s doesn’t. They keep pushing Eddie to be sad then happy then making stupid decisions. DEVELOP YOUR FUCKING CHARACTER! You’ve been dropping the ball since at least the network switch. Which I find super funny because yes, he does the emotional scenes super amazing but now it seems like his character is more open. He’s making more funny faces, he’s got the loose hair, he makes comedic jokes. But he’s almost(so close) to reminding me of Buck 1.0.. but it doesn’t fit with the storyline at all. At least to me…
Like does anyone agree with any of this? Am I just seeing things? Did the writers get told Gavin was leaving too late and made this story on the fly and rolled with it? Does Ryan want out of the show and they are keeping it under wraps? Like WHAT IS HAPPENING? Make it make sense!
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Ps. I did not proofread this before posting so if something doesn’t make sense, let me know. I was just trying to get down all my thoughts on this. Currently me vvv
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lexxiie · 1 day ago
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could i request a imagine for shigaraki and hawks for a reader who loves to dance? ty!
When You Love To Dance
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Yesssss!!!
Fandom: My hero academia
Featuring: shigaraki, hawks, dabi, overhaul x fem reader
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SHIGARAKI
He knows you love to dance ever since he met you, but, as you may imagine, that's not really his field of expertise. When you go to events where dancing is common, you usually stay sat. You do it because you want to, and you don't wish to leave him alone, still, he feels bad about it.
A week ago, he asked you to teach him. He said he'd like to dance at least a bit with you when necessary, which obviously had you jumping with joy.
That's what led you here. A week later, on your living room, attempting to learn the basics. This had been the funniest experience for the both of you, at this point you didn't even care if he learned or not, the dancing lessons where enough of a reward.
You laughed loud as he stumped on your foot for the third time, and he pretended to be angry. "Stop!" You yelled while pushing him away from you, however, his feet got caught with the rug and he fell over you. Both of your bodies hit the floor shortly after and minutes went by before you could stop laughing. "I'm done, I don't want to do this anymore." He said, now annoyed, but you could tell he was just embarrassed. "Does that mean you don't like practicing with me?" You asked, making the saddest face you could. He couldn't resist it. "I do! I like it, It's just that I'm really bad at this and-" You cut his desperate babbling off with a kiss. Needless to say, the dancing sessions went on for longer.
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HAWKS
Oh Hawks loves dancing as well, and he's fairly decent at it, too. He actually first met you at a party to commemorate heroes. You were there because of a friend and he was one of the stars of the event.
He was talking to a couple of his friends when all of a sudden, he stopped listening to everything they were saying when the most beautiful person he'd ever seen crossed his eyes. You were dancing with your friend and you looked absolutely gorgeous, he couldn't remember the last time he had been so attracted to someone, but here you were.
He had to approach you, and he did. He introduced himself (which wasn't needed) "I saw you from afar, and I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't ask you to dance at least one song with me." He said this as he offered you his hand, however, you looked back at your friend who hadn't come here with anyone else. "Thank you, but I'm good here," you responded with a kind smile, but before the hero could say anything else, your friend kicked you subtly, but hard. "Ouch!" You exclaimed as you turned to her, her face begging you to go with him. "Fine, one song won't make any harm." You told the hero. His face lightened with pure joy, and you definitely did not dance just one song. If he wasn't in love with you before, he totally was by the time the party was over.
Taking this precedent into account, dancing with you brings him great memories, so he loves it as much as you do.
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DABI
He's not a dancer. It's not that he's terrible at it, he can surprisingly fend for himself on that field, though he isn't great either. The thing here is that he feels a bit ridiculous when he dances, at least not in public. Unless he's having a big melodramatic moment.
In private, however... He's the kind of man who whines about everything, but he's never ever complained when you approach him to dance in the comfort of your home. He actually likes it that way, he loves having you in his arms, and he enjoys doing anything that you love. Even if he pretends he doesn't.
And he loves to pretend that he's annoyed when you dance, as you do it quite often. Just like now. Dancing all over the kitchen with a bowl full of pancakes batter on your hands. "You'll drop that." He says as he rolls his eyes at you. "Of course not! I know what I'm doing!" You respond with a big smile on your face. "Come on, don't be such a killjoy, you should join me." He looks at you like you just said the dumbest thing ever, which only encourages you to put the bowl down and force your boyfriend to dance with you. He shows resistance at first, but you win him over quite quickly. The frown he had at first, now replaced by a subtle smile. It's just so hard to say no to you.
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OVERHAUL
I mean... Define dancer. He isn't great at a club, but he sure is a good dancing partner at a wedding. Slow dancing is more his thing.
He doesn't love it, but he doesn't hate it either. He feels indifferent towards dancing overall, but he does not feel indifferent towards you at all. He'll comply with whatever makes you happy.
Kai had a very busy week. Your birthday was coming and he really wanted to throw you a nice party for your closest friends to attend, the thing is, he struggles a bit to keep it simple, so what was meant to be a tiny reunion, turned into a somewhat big event. He just felt like you deserve everything he can give you.
It had been a lot of work, but he was more than happy to do it. Especially now that he had you in his arms, with a beautiful dress, and the dancing floor under your feet. "Thank you so much, Kai." You say to him before laying a kiss on his lips. "Happy birthday, love. Anything for you." He responds, as he pulls away and places a strand of hair behind your ear. He would've never imagined himself doing this for anyone else, he thinks as he turns you around. He must really love you, right?
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Masterlist
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gnabnahc317cb97 · 2 days ago
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Like... I know this is a new blog and that I don't have as many followers as on my old one here yet BUT...
I've posted like 25,000+ words worth of fics in the last like 3 days and aside from my amazing ride or die friends (you all know who you are, this isn't directed at any of you obviously! You're THE BEST!) I've gotten barely any interaction with these fics.
When I write something funny I always think "I really REALLY hope someone will comment or reblog (or send an ask or DM) and say "OMGGGG 'this part' made me laugh so hard" or when I write something sad that makes me cry or any time I write honestly. As I do, I ALWAYS hope that maybe I'll see a new face (old faces LOVE you sososo much please don't go away!) saying what they enjoyed about my fic.
I have at least 3 fics that I have been SO super excited to write for yall but honestly with as little interaction as I've gotten on the last few this last week or 2 I'm discouraged to continue.
I'll still write them because I want to see these stories unfold myself but the idea of posting them doesn't bring me the joy I feel like it should so I don't know if I will.
Also lack of interaction is 100% why I don't do a tag list anymore. I've been getting asked this A LOT lately (nothing against those people) and I used to! I'd tag like 20+ people but I'd get maybe 3 that would comment and interact with my fics. It's tedious and time consuming to do just to get next to nothing out of it, so I won't do them anymore.
I don't know. I feel like I'm ranting now and probably sound like an asshole but what I'm trying to say is it hurts my feelings. I don't know... I'll probably end up deleting this I'm just in my feelings about it right now.
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sockatoothewafflebird · 3 days ago
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‼️🚨‼️🚨‼️🚨‼️
arcane season 2 ending spoilers!!! scroll past if you wanna save yourself! seriously it's so much better if you watch it completely blind.
here we go!!! turn back now!!!
so. oh my god. that was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.
my first reaction:
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i think it's safe to say arcane is my favorite show ever. my favorite piece of media ever.
let's start with the very few flaws:
pacing was way too fast, but i think it's just because episodes were a lot shorter and we only got two seasons instead of the original five. it wouldve been better as five seasons. but oh my god it's still hella good
i think a couple issues aren't handled as well as they should've been, although it's not my place to speak on it. i'll probably talk about it later but for now i'll just say they could have handled jinx better.
i wish we could have seen their graves. the graves of isha and jinx and vi's parents, the graves of everyone she lost. i think it would have been a nice touch, and it would've made me start bawling so hard my head hurt. which is a good thing when it comes to arcane. this one's just a personal gripe though.
now with, um, everything else:
so uh caitvi lets GO? lets fucking go caitvi. also i did not think i'd like timebomb this much! it was so fucking cute! but then um yeah haha that happened
JAYVE AND VIKTOR ARE IN LOVE AND THEYRE COSMIC BEINGS DRIFTING THROUGH SPACE TOGETHER. OH MY GOD THAT SCENE EWS AMAZING. my jaw dropped in the viktor and jayce scene in ep9 and it did mot close until i said "no please no you can't do this to me". so yeah. the lost beautiful piece of animation i've ever fucking seen hands down.
i don't think anything can ever top this. you know when you read a fic so good you're like "no other fic will ever bring me this much joy?" yeah i'm that but with pieces of media in general.... like. arcane is the best thing to ever come on a screen, period. i'm not joking here this is objectively one of if not THE BEST PIECE OF CINEMA EVER. maybe i'm biased and arcane haters dont come after me but this show is so so special to me. i'll never forget it. i'll be on my deathbed as an old lady and someone will play Enemy by Imagine Dragons and i'll come back to life to rewatch arcane.
that's all for now. i'll articulate my thoughts better tomorrow but um yeah i guess it's over. holy shit. it's over.
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gunilslaugh · 3 days ago
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The Truth
Hello my lovely dear readers,
Have you missed me? I’ve had some thoughts about coming back recently cause I miss writing fanfiction more than I thought I would. However, thinking about coming back has had me reflecting more about why I left. 
In my goodbye post I said it was because of me not feeling comfortable writing fanfiction about other men in a romantic way when I have a boyfriend now. That is true and was ultimately the deciding factor in me stepping away from my blog. I did leave some other information out of my goodbye post though. That information being that I had been thinking about ending my blog before I even started talking with my now boyfriend. 
Truthfully writing fanfiction began to not feel fun anymore. This feeling actually started when I made my side blog @twinklingstar1ights I thought that opening up that side blog would help bring back the joy I had for writing fanfiction and at first it did. It felt refreshing to write for more groups.
However I felt like my main focus had to be on gunilslaugh. I felt the need to upload for my followers. Especially since there aren’t many writers for Xdinary Heroes. I didn’t want to let you all down by putting writing for the heroes on the back burner. This is where I made a mistake that led to me feeling burnt out and losing motivation to write. 
Another factor that led to me wanting to step away was some of the reception to my works. It seemed like all works that I was actually proud of and liked flopped and works that I lowkey hated did really well. It felt discouraging. I get and respect that people have different tastes, but when I posted works that I was so excited to post only for them to get such little reception it stung. Like I wanted to know what was wrong with them. Why didn’t you guys like them? I know that I shouldn’t have gotten so caught up on numbers, but it was hard not to. 
Maybe I was too in my own head, but I started to feel like my engagement with my readers was low. My works would get a lot of likes, but that kinda felt like it. They hardly got any reblogs and even less comments. I feel really pathetic for complaining about this, but it kinda felt like you guys didn’t want to interact with me. Like the last q&a I did, only one person sent me questions. I wanted to be a writer that had really good communication with their readers. I wanted to interact with you guys. I will take this time to acknowledge those who did interact with me cause you all were my favorite. I got excited when I saw your guys' usernames or emoji anons. 
My Villain Xdinary Heroes series got the most interaction. People left comments and anons sent in messages telling me how much they liked them and were excited for the other parts to be posted. That was probably my happiest time as a writer. Although that being said after wrapping up Villain Xdinary Heroes fics those interactions went away. This was probably me overthinking, but it made me feel like my works weren’t as good anymore. Obviously I don’t expect high interaction rates on every post I make. Yet for some reason only seeing like after like began to feel disappointing. Again I feel really stupid for complaining about this. Like who complains about getting likes? 
Writers spend hours creating our works and only getting a like button hit just kinda feels like bare minimum I guess if that makes sense. All those posts about Reblogs>Likes is so true. Reblogs make writers 100x more happy than a like does. Don’t get me wrong I still appreciate all the likes my works get. It’s just like a said hours go into creating works and a like button takes a second to hit and it’s not as personal as a comment either. I loved hearing you guys’ thoughts and feelings about my works. 
When I was writing the last of my requests before ending my blog they were just asking for their request. Which is fine, that's what a request is. However in the past you guys would compliment me or ask how I was doing, say that you hope I was doing well. I got to have that bit of interaction that I wanted with my readers. Seriously a “Hi, how are you?” or a “I hope your day is going well :)” on a request would make me so happy. I kinda didn’t realize how much I liked it until it wasn’t there. This is again I feel really pathetic for complaining about, but I want to get my truth out there. I want you guys to know all the factors that lead to me making my decision to step away. Cause in my goodbye post I basically blamed it on my relationship. The reason I did that is because as I previously stated these other reasons make me feel pathetic. That these small things grew to bother me so much.
I think if I look back to when my struggles with my blog started was when an anon sent in a request saying that they thought I wrote Gunil duller when compared to the other members. I just deleted that request cause it felt a bit back handed. Like they said that they thought I wrote Gunil dully then proceeded to request something. I understand constructive criticism, but this did not feel like that, it felt rude. It got me paranoid too. I went back to my ot6 works to reread them to see if it was true. Because if it was I wanted to fix that obviously. It was never my intention to write him dully if that’s how it came across.
When I write ot6 works I start with Gunil first, so in a way he’s the “icebreaker” to get my ideas flowing. Which could result in his part not being as detailed as the others, but I never wanted that to happen. My blog is named after him for peats sake. I love the guy (and his laugh). Anyway that comment just really got in my head despite trying to brush it off. 
Speaking of ot6 works. I mentioned it before but I actually prefer writing member x reader works, but most of my requests were ot6 works. Again this falls into my taste not exactly aligning with my readers. I was putting out works that I didn’t necessarily feel like writing, but I didn’t want to disappoint you all by not writing your request. It felt like what I wanted to write wasn’t what you wanted to read. My need to please my audience out weighed writing what I wanted, which again ultimately led to me feeling burnt out. 
So yeah even if I put my relationship aside I feel like the end of my blog was still coming. Writing for it was beginning to feel more like a chore than a hobby. Like I stated at the beginning of this long spiel I have thought about coming back. I would definitely be different than before though. I thought about combining my side blog and my main blog to just be a multi-fandom blog or maybe I would keep them separate, but not have my focus be on gunilslaugh. I would just write about who I want, when I want, not stress about having a fixed writing schedule. If I came back it would be like starting fresh. Gunilslaugh 2.0 Honestly I even thought about just creating a whole new blog, starting completely afresh. 
All this being said I still don’t know about coming back. I just felt the need to share the whole story with my readers since you guys have given me so much support. I’m sorry if anything I wrote in this offends anyone in some kind of way or made anyone feel bad. That’s not my intention I just want you all to know what I’ve been feeling, what has been on my mind. Why I made the decision I made. 
Sorry that this was so lengthy I’m done yapping now. Thank you for taking the time to read this. 
Maybe we will meet again in the future, stay happy and healthy. 
Gunil’s Laugh <3
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