#i just know he had the time of his life acting his heart out during that scene and i hate him for it
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i love you, in every time ࿐‧₊ 1943 - wounds and whispers
chapter summary: After an attack on the battlefield, Logan wakes up to you as his nurse in Italy during World War 2.
word count: 8.8k+
pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
notes: this one is short, and the ending is a bit abrupt, but i kind of wanted it to be that way- war is unpredictable. also, the ending is a tad bit different from the other endings, you'll see when you read! anyways, next chapter is when things get a little bit more interesting...
warnings/tags: mentions of injuries, fluff, angst, war, character death(s)
series masterlist - chapter 3 → chapter 5
A mere 43 years later and Logan was already in his second war since you died that last time. Part of him almost wished that he could die, maybe then he’d see you and get to hold you forever. But that just wasn’t in the cards for him; not when he had this healing, not when he was already 111 years old.
Logan's mind was swimming in a fog of pain as consciousness crept back in. The last thing he remembered was the deafening blast of gunfire and the sharp, searing pain that tore through his side as he charged forward in the midst of the chaos. War was hell, and he’d been through more than enough of them to know that. But this—this felt different.
His eyes fluttered open, the bright lights overhead blinding him for a moment as he groaned, trying to push himself up. His muscles screamed in protest, his entire body feeling like it had been torn apart and put back together again.
“Easy there, soldier.”
The voice was soft but firm, and it froze him in place. Logan’s heart skipped a beat, recognition flooding through him even though he knew it wasn’t possible. His vision focused, and then he saw you. Standing right over him, your face illuminated by the dim lights of the field hospital.
It was you.
Logan’s breath hitched, his mind spinning. He’d seen you die—he’d held you in his arms not long before everything faded. The memory of that night, the pain in your eyes, the blood pooling beneath you—it was burned into him. He’d lost you again. But now here you were, alive, standing in front of him like nothing had ever happened.
His throat tightened, but he forced himself to speak. “Y/N?” You probably didn’t hear him, given the quiet tone of his voice.
You smiled softly, stepping closer to him, your hands working with practiced care to check his wounds. “You’re lucky, you know,” you said, ignoring the way he looked at you, as if he'd seen a ghost. “The shrapnel didn’t hit anything vital. You’ll live.”
Logan swallowed hard, his eyes never leaving yours. He felt a pull, the same pull he’d felt every time he met you in a different life. But this time, it hurt even more. Because this was the first time he’d seen you since the last time you died, and now, here you were, again, as if the universe had decided to toy with him once more.
“Y/N…” he whispered again, his voice rough with emotion.
You glanced at him, your brows knitting together in confusion. “How do you know my name?”
Logan hesitated, his heart pounding. He couldn’t tell you—not yet. Not about the lives you’d lived before, not about the times he’d watched you die. He had to keep it together. You didn’t remember him, and that was both a blessing and a curse.
He cleared his throat, managing a tight smile. “Lucky guess,” he said, his voice strained, trying to mask the tidal wave of emotion crashing through him.
You gave him a curious look but didn’t press further. “Well, lucky or not, you should be more careful out there,” you said, turning your attention back to bandaging him up. “You’re not invincible, even if you act like it.”
Logan nearly chuckled at that. If only you knew. But instead, he gritted his teeth as you finished patching him up. The pain from the wound was nothing compared to the ache in his chest. He’d spent so many lifetimes with you, always losing you too soon. Always feeling like there wasn’t enough time.
And now, here you were again, standing so close to him, your hands gentle as you worked. He clenched his jaw, his mind racing with memories of you—of your smile, your laugh, the way you’d always found him, no matter the time or place.
But this wasn’t the past. This was 1943, and you didn’t know him. He had to play it cool, keep his distance, even though every instinct in him was screaming to reach out and hold you, to make sure you didn’t slip away again.
“Thanks,” he muttered, trying to keep his voice steady.
You gave him a small nod, satisfied with your work. “Well, you’re still not cleared to leave yet, so you’re not gonna get away from me that easily.” You grabbed a small flashlight from your pocket and leaned in a little closer, shining it into his eyes to check his pupils.
Logan grunted, feeling the warmth of your proximity. It was almost unbearable how familiar you felt, even though you didn’t know him—at least not in this lifetime. His eyes followed your movements, the way you focused on him like he was just another soldier you had to patch up. But to him, you were everything.
“You know,” you started, your voice calm but a little teasing, “you really shouldn’t be throwing yourself into the line of fire like that. Kinda hard for us to patch you up if you don’t have any parts left.”
Logan gave a low chuckle, though his heart wasn’t in it. “I’ll heal,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. His voice was rougher than usual, like the words were struggling to get past the weight of seeing you again, alive and breathing.
You raised an eyebrow at him. “Heal, huh? Well, you’re not invincible, soldier. Trust me, I’ve seen men think they’re untouchable, and they don’t last long in a place like this.”
Logan looked away, trying to focus on anything other than the sound of your voice. He didn’t want to make this harder on himself than it already was. “Guess I’ll just have to be more careful, then.”
You chuckled softly, finishing your check-up and tucking the flashlight back into your pocket. “Yeah, you do that.” There was a hint of amusement in your tone, but you were still clearly all business. “Now,” you looked at a clipboard in your hands, “James, you have a different name you’d like to go by?”
Logan grunted, his gaze fixed on you. The name ‘James’ felt foreign now, like a remnant of a past he didn't quite belong to anymore. His eyes flickered to the clipboard, then back to your face. The memories of every life you'd lived flashed through his mind, each one ending the same way, with you slipping away from him.
“Logan,” he said, his voice a bit rougher than he intended.
You looked up, scribbling something down. “Logan, huh?” You nodded, writing it down. “Suits you better than James… I think.”
Logan gave a small grunt, a mix of acknowledgment and the emotions he was keeping buried. He couldn’t tell you how much it hurt hearing you say his name, knowing you didn’t remember him at all. Every time he heard your voice, it was like a punch to the gut—a reminder that no matter how many times you came back, he was always starting over, and you… you were always slipping away.
“Glad you approve,” Logan muttered, his eyes drifting away from you. He was trying hard not to stare, trying not to let the overwhelming rush of memories take over. You looked the same, almost exactly as you had the last time—before George pulled that damn trigger.
You didn’t seem to notice the tension radiating from him, too focused on the task at hand. “Well, Logan,” you said, setting the clipboard aside. “You’ll need to stay here for observation, at least for the night. Make sure your body’s handling the recovery properly. We’ve seen some soldiers who think they’re fine, and then—” You made a gesture, mimicking someone fainting, a half-smile tugging at your lips.
Logan’s eyes flicked to the floor, suppressing the mix of emotions threatening to boil over. That small smile—the one you always had, no matter how many lives you lived—was painfully familiar. Each time, the same softness, the same warmth. But this time, it cut deeper because he knew how this would end. You’d be gone. Again.
“You’re real good at this, aren’t ya?” Logan said, his voice low, trying to sound casual despite the weight of everything between you two, or at least, everything he carried alone.
You shrugged, your smile widening just a little. “I’ve had a lot of practice lately. War isn’t exactly kind to anyone.” Your eyes softened for a moment, like you were remembering someone, but you shook it off, standing straighter. “But, yeah. It’s what I do.”
Logan’s jaw tightened as he fought the urge to tell you everything, to scream at the universe for pulling you into his life only to tear you away. But he couldn’t. Not this time. He had to play along, had to act like this was the first time he’d ever met you.
He nodded, letting out a deep breath. “Guess we’re both used to it, then. War and all.”
You glanced at him, curiosity flickering in your eyes. “Yeah?” There was a pause as you sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. “You seem… different from the other soldiers I’ve patched up. Seen a lot, huh?”
Logan leaned back slightly, his hand brushing against the place where the ring still rested in his pocket. He hadn’t taken it out in years. “More than you’d believe.”
There was a quiet moment between you, your gaze lingering on him as if trying to figure him out. “Well,” you said, breaking the silence, “let’s hope you don’t add anything else to that list while you’re here.”
Logan couldn’t help the bitter chuckle that escaped his throat. If only you knew what was on that list already. If only he could tell you how many times he’d seen you die, how many times he’d watched your life slip through his fingers. But instead, he just nodded again.
“I’ll try,” he muttered, though the words felt hollow.
As you stood up, preparing to check on the next patient, you paused, glancing back at him. There was something in your eyes, something almost familiar. But then, you smiled again—kind, unaware of the history Logan held with you—and walked away, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
Logan exhaled slowly, the ache in his chest growing heavier. He had to stay strong, had to keep his distance. But deep down, he knew he was already caught, already tangled in the same painful cycle.
He slipped his hand into his pocket, fingers brushing against the smooth surface of the engagement ring he’d never had the chance to give you.
Maybe this time, he thought. Maybe this time, you’d survive.
But Logan knew better than to hope.
---
You checked in with one of the doctors when Sandra, your friend and fellow nurse, put a hand on your shoulder and turned you to face her.
“Does he have a nice voice?”
You snorted, shaking your head at Sandra. "A nice voice? That’s what you want to ask?”
Sandra grinned, unbothered by your sarcasm. “Well, I saw the way you were looking at him. Thought maybe he had some mysterious, deep, soldier-thing going on.”
Rolling your eyes, you grabbed a clipboard from the nearby desk. “He’s just a patient, Sandra.”
“Uh-huh, sure.” Sandra leaned in, lowering her voice. “You didn’t exactly hurry out of that room.”
You shot her a look. “I was doing my job.”
“Mmhmm,” she hummed, clearly not buying it. “So... does he?”
You sighed, unable to stop a small smile from creeping onto your face. “Yeah, okay. Maybe a little. He’s got that gruff, low thing going on.”
“I knew it!” Sandra nudged your shoulder, her expression smug. “You’re into the mysterious types.”
“Oh, come on,” you muttered, flipping through the papers on your clipboard, though none of it really held your focus. Your mind drifted back to Logan’s face—his eyes, the way he carried himself like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. There was something about him, something that felt... familiar. But you brushed it off. That wasn’t possible.
“I’m not into anyone,” you said quickly, snapping back to reality. “Especially not a guy I’ve known for like five minutes.”
Sandra raised her hands in surrender, smirking. “Alright, alright. I’ll drop it.” But the teasing gleam in her eyes suggested she wasn’t done with the subject.
You gave her a half-hearted glare before heading off to check on another patient. But as much as you tried to focus, your thoughts kept drifting back to Logan. The way his voice had this gravelly edge to it, how it felt like he was holding something back every time he spoke. And then there was the way he looked at you—like he recognized you, like you were someone important.
But that couldn’t be right.
---
You came to check on Logan later that night before you’d head back to your quarters for some rest. The makeshift hospital was quieter now, just a few murmurs from patients in the distance. Your shift had been long, draining, but something about checking on Logan felt... different.
You pushed the door open, stepping into the dimly lit room. Logan was sitting up on the bed, his expression unreadable as he stared at the floor. His posture was tense, like he was carrying the weight of more than just a few injuries.
“How’re you feeling?” you asked softly, keeping your tone professional despite the strange pull you felt toward him.
Logan looked up at you, his eyes locking onto yours for a moment that seemed to stretch longer than it should. “Better. You know, thanks to you.”
You gave a small smile, stepping closer to the bed. “I’m just doing my job.”
“Yeah,” he muttered, his gaze drifting back to the floor. “Still, you’re good at it.”
There was that same heaviness in his voice, like he was holding back more than just gratitude. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something about him felt... familiar. It was strange, like you knew him somehow, but you brushed the thought away.
“You should get some rest,” you said, checking the bandage on his side. Your fingertips lingered on the spot where the bloody wound had been earlier, but there was nothing—just smooth skin, as if it had never been there at all. Your brow furrowed, lips parting slightly in disbelief. You’d seen the gash when they’d brought him in, deep and ugly, impossible to heal so quickly.
Logan’s muscles tensed under your touch, and when you glanced at him, his expression was guarded, like he was bracing for something.
"That’s... impossible," you murmured, more to yourself than to him. "It was bad earlier. There should at least be... a scar."
Logan shrugged, trying to act indifferent, but the movement was stiff. "Guess I got lucky."
You pulled your hand back slowly, still frowning. “Lucky doesn’t cover it. I’ve never seen anyone heal like that.” You tilted your head, curiosity edging into your voice. “How?”
His jaw tightened. "It happens."
“That’s not much of an answer.” Your arms crossed over your chest, and the edge in your tone softened just a bit. “You’ve got to admit it’s... weird.”
Logan gave you a look, one that made you feel like he was sizing you up, trying to figure out how much he could say. Or maybe how little. "Weird, yeah," he muttered, voice low. "Not much I can do about it, though."
You knew a deflection when you heard one, but you let it go—for now. You weren’t sure why you felt compelled to trust him, but there was something in his eyes, in the way he spoke, that made it impossible not to.
Sitting down on the edge of his bed, you shook your head with a faint smile. "Well, however it happened, you’re lucky I didn’t call the doctors in to see this miracle." You gave him a teasing look. “You’d be their new favorite science project.”
A ghost of a grin tugged at the corner of Logan’s mouth, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, I’d rather avoid that."
For a moment, the two of you sat in silence. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t. There was something strangely easy about being near him, like you’d known each other for years. You glanced at his hands—rough, calloused, like they’d seen more battles than you could imagine—and wondered just how much he’d been through.
"Why do I feel like there’s more to you than you’re letting on?" you asked softly.
Logan’s gaze flicked to yours, something unreadable in his expression. "You ever meet someone and feel like you’ve known ’em before?"
His words struck a nerve, sending a chill down your spine. You swallowed, the strange familiarity between you two suddenly harder to ignore. "Yeah... I guess I have."
Logan nodded, his gaze dropping to his hands. He rubbed his thumb against the curve of his knuckle—a nervous habit, maybe. Or just old memories surfacing.
"You should get some rest," you said quietly, almost reluctantly. It felt wrong to leave, like there was more to say, even if you didn’t know what.
"I’m not good at rest," Logan admitted, voice low.
You gave a soft laugh. "No one is these days."
As you stood up, Logan’s hand moved slightly—just enough that the tips of his fingers brushed yours, barely a touch but enough to make your heart skip. You looked down at him, surprised by how natural it felt, like you’d been standing this close to him a thousand times before.
For a moment, it seemed like Logan might say something—something important. His hand hovered near his pocket, where a small, heavy object pressed against the fabric. But then he stopped himself, his jaw clenching as if he’d changed his mind at the last second.
"Goodnight," you whispered, your voice softer than before.
Logan gave you a short nod, but his eyes followed you as you stepped away, like he was memorizing the moment—like it might slip away from him if he looked away for even a second.
---
The next morning, when you went to check on Logan, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, buttoning up his shirt over his white beater.
“Hey—wait.” You stepped in front of Logan, your hands instinctively finding his forearm as he finished buttoning his shirt. “You’re not cleared to leave yet.”
Logan’s eyes flicked to yours, and for a moment, something passed between you—like the echo of a memory, distant but familiar. He gave you a half-smile, the kind that looked more like a grimace, and kept working on the last button.
“Gotta go,” he muttered. “Don’t do well sittin’ still.”
You crossed your arms, not budging. “Doesn’t mean you get to walk out of here half-healed.”
His gaze darkened, jaw clenching as if biting back words. You could tell he didn’t like being told what to do, but there was something more in his expression—something haunted, buried beneath that tough exterior.
“You think I can’t handle it?” he asked, voice low, gravelly.
“It’s not about what you can handle.” Your eyes softened, a hint of frustration slipping through. “It’s about what’s smart. I’ve patched up enough soldiers to know that leavin’ too soon isn’t.”
Logan’s lips twitched, like he might argue, but then he stilled, studying you with a strange intensity. The weight of his stare made your breath hitch for a second, but you refused to back down.
“Stay,” you insisted. “At least for another day. Let the wound close properly.”
He exhaled sharply through his nose, like it was more trouble than it was worth to argue with you. “You always this stubborn?”
A smile tugged at your lips. “Yeah. Part of the charm.”
Logan huffed, a reluctant laugh buried somewhere in the sound. He leaned forward slightly, his knees brushing yours where you stood between his legs. The air felt heavier—charged with something neither of you could quite name.
“Y/N...” The way your name left his mouth was different. Familiar, almost reverent, like he was tasting the sound of it after a long time.
Your heart stuttered in your chest. “What?”
Logan’s hand drifted toward his pocket, hesitating just for a beat. He seemed to think better of it and instead leaned back, propping himself on his palms like he was trying to keep his distance.
“Nothing.” His tone was gruff, evasive, but you knew there was more he wasn’t saying.
You stayed where you were, close enough to feel the warmth of him. “You’re not really going to leave, are you?”
Logan’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Shouldn’t stick around too long.”
“Why not?”
He ran a hand through his dark hair, frustrated. “I just shouldn’t.”
The words hit you harder than you expected, like they carried the weight of something unsaid—something important. But before you could push further, Logan shifted on the bed, brushing past you as if putting space between you would make it easier.
“Look...” His voice softened just slightly, almost apologetic. “You shouldn’t worry about me. I’ve been through worse.”
You tilted your head, watching him carefully. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean you have to go through this alone.”
Logan’s gaze flicked to yours, and for a moment, the walls he kept up seemed to crack, just a little. He looked at you like you were someone he wanted to hold onto, but couldn’t—like you’d slip through his fingers if he let himself get too close.
You leaned in just a bit, your voice barely above a whisper. “Let me help, Logan.”
The way his name fell from your lips sent a flicker of something through him—something dangerous, vulnerable, like it meant too much. His breath hitched, and for a second, you thought he might tell you whatever he was holding back.
But instead, he gave you a tight smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You already have.”
It felt like the conversation was teetering on the edge of something, but neither of you were ready to tip it over just yet.
“You win,” he muttered finally, his tone rough but resigned. “I’ll stay... one more day.”
You grinned, victorious. “Good. I’ll hold you to that. Maybe I’ll even let ya accompany me to the mess tent for lunch.” You held up a finger, playful but firm. “But only if you’re good.”
Logan gave a soft huff, the closest thing to a laugh you’d gotten out of him all day. “You makin’ the rules now?”
“That’s right,” you said with a smirk. “I am the nurse, after all.”
He shook his head, amused despite himself. “Fair enough.”
You lingered a moment longer than necessary, and Logan didn’t move away. His hand twitched near his knee, like he was thinking about reaching for you. It wasn’t the kind of gesture that strangers made—it felt too familiar, too intimate, like muscle memory.
“See ya at lunch, then,” you murmured, trying to shake off the strange pull toward him.
Logan gave a small nod, but his gaze stayed on you as you turned toward the door. Just as you reached it, you glanced back over your shoulder.
“You better not sneak out while I’m gone,” you teased, though part of you wasn’t sure it was really a joke.
Logan’s lips quirked at the corner, but the look in his eyes was heavy, weighed down with something you couldn’t quite place. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
---
By the time lunch rolled around, you were half-expecting Logan to be gone—off on some stubborn mission to leave the hospital before you could stop him. But when you returned, there he was, sitting up on the bed and rolling the sleeves of his shirt to his forearms.
"Kept my end of the bargain," he said, giving you a crooked grin that was more shadow than smile.
“Guess that means you earned lunch.” You gestured toward the door, and Logan pushed himself off the bed with an ease that didn’t match the severity of the injury he'd arrived with. You gave him a skeptical glance but decided to let it slide—for now.
The two of you walked through the makeshift hospital in comfortable silence. You noticed how other soldiers gave him nods or muttered greetings in passing, even though none of them really knew him. Something about Logan just demanded respect—maybe it was the way he carried himself, or the way his eyes seemed to see right through you.
At the mess tent, you grabbed two metal trays, handing one to him. “Hope you’re not picky. The food’s... not exactly five-star.”
Logan smirked. “I’ve had worse.”
You sat together at a small table, away from the loudest group of soldiers. For a moment, it was almost peaceful, like the war outside didn’t exist. Logan picked at his food absently, and you couldn’t help but study him—how his hands moved, how his jaw clenched like he was always bracing for bad news.
“So... you’ve done this before?” you asked, breaking the quiet. “The soldier thing, I mean.”
Logan glanced at you, something flickering in his expression. “Yeah. A few times.”
A few times. The way he said it made it sound like more than just a couple of tours.
“Must’ve been rough,” you murmured, stirring your soup. “I can’t imagine coming back to it over and over.”
Logan’s gaze lingered on you, and for a second, you felt pinned under the weight of it. Like he knew something you didn’t. “You get used to it,” he muttered, but the sadness in his voice told a different story.
There was a beat of silence, and then you leaned forward slightly, your curiosity getting the better of you. “You ever... think about what you’d do, you know, if you weren’t here? If the war wasn’t happening?”
Logan stared at his tray, his jaw tightening like he was biting back something painful. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “Once or twice.”
The way he said it made your chest ache, and before you could stop yourself, you asked, “What would you do?”
Logan’s thumb brushed along the edge of his tray—a nervous habit, like he was weighing whether to tell you the truth. “There’s someone,” he said slowly. “Someone I thought about settlin’ down with... a long time ago.”
You blinked, surprised by the sudden vulnerability in his voice. “What happened?”
Logan looked away, his expression hardening like a door slamming shut. “Didn’t work out.”
It wasn’t the whole story—you could tell that much. But you didn’t push. There was something in the way he said it, like the loss was still raw, even if it had happened years ago.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, unsure why you felt the need to say it.
Logan gave a small shrug, like it didn’t matter. But you knew better. It did matter. It mattered a lot.
---
After lunch, the two of you lingered outside the tent, neither of you in a rush to return to the chaos inside. The sun was warm on your face, a rare moment of peace in a world that had been anything but peaceful lately.
“You’re not what I expected,” you said suddenly, glancing at Logan.
He raised an eyebrow. “What’d you expect?”
You shrugged, smiling. “I don’t know. Maybe someone more... closed off. But you’re not as much of a mystery as you think.”
Logan chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “You’d be surprised.”
You bit your lip, studying him. “You feel... familiar,” you admitted, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “Like we’ve met before.”
Logan went still, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you thought he might brush it off with some sarcastic comment. But instead, he looked at you with that same haunted expression you’d seen earlier—the one that made your chest tighten.
“Maybe we have,” he said quietly, almost to himself.
The words sent a strange chill down your spine. You stared at him, trying to piece together what he meant. But Logan didn’t offer any more answers. He just stood there, watching you like he was waiting for something.
Before you could ask, Sandra’s voice called from the distance, snapping you both out of the moment. “Y/N! Doctor’s looking for you.”
You sighed, giving Logan a small, reluctant smile. “Duty calls.”
Logan nodded, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Yeah. Better get to it.”
You hesitated for just a second longer, something inside you screaming that there was more to this—more to him. But instead, you gave him one last smile before turning away.
---
When Logan was alone again, he pulled the ring from his pocket, turning it over in his fingers. The weight of it was familiar, comforting in a way that only hurt more now.
He’d carried it through battles, through lifetimes, always hoping—maybe this time. But hope had a way of slipping through his fingers, just like you always did.
Logan clenched the ring in his fist, his jaw tightening. He knew better than to hope. He always did. But still... here you were.
For now, at least.
---
The next day you begrudgingly cleared Logan and showed him to where he would be staying before he got called away for another fight. It was a small quarters, shared with some of the other guys, but it was better than the hospital bed.
You should know. Sometimes you’ve taken power naps on those beds—when the hospital got too busy or you needed a break but couldn’t leave. They were uncomfortable as hell, but after long hours, you didn’t have much choice.
Logan tossed his bag on the bunk, eyeing the cramped quarters. It wasn’t much—just a room with a few cots and a flimsy curtain dividing it from the rest of the barracks—but he didn’t seem to care.
“You’ll be all right here,” you said, crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe.
Logan smirked, glancing at the bed like it was just another obstacle in his way. “I’ve had worse.”
You gave him a sideways glance, shaking your head slightly. “Yeah, I’m starting to see a pattern with you.”
He chuckled, low and gravelly, the sound doing strange things to your heart. His presence was so... solid. Like he’d been through hell and back, yet here he was, standing in front of you like nothing could break him.
“Well, don’t get too comfortable,” you added with a smirk. “There’s always a chance you’ll end up back in the infirmary if you’re not careful.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the wall, his arms crossing over his chest in a way that made the muscles in his forearms flex under his rolled-up sleeves. “You worried about me, nurse?”
“Maybe I am,” you teased, keeping it light even though part of you was serious. “I don’t want to have to stitch you back up.”
He laughed again, softer this time, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than just casual. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll heal.”
The words hung between you, something unspoken settling in. There was always something deeper with Logan, like the surface of his words barely scratched at the things he carried underneath.
Before you could respond, a couple of soldiers passed by, giving Logan nods of acknowledgment as they went. You noticed the way they looked at him, like he was someone who’d earned their respect without even trying.
Logan pushed off the wall, moving past you toward the door. “Thanks for the room,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. “But I could use a drink.”
You laughed. “Well, good luck with that. This isn’t exactly the Ritz.”
He stopped just outside the door, turning back to you. His eyes were sharp, but there was something softer underneath. “You wanna join me?”
You paused, surprised by the offer. “Are you askin’ me out, Logan?”
His lips twitched into a half-smile. “Just tryin’ to be friendly.”
You let out a small huff of laughter, shaking your head as you grabbed your cap and followed him. “Fine. But if you’re looking for whiskey, you’re gonna be disappointed.”
The two of you walked in comfortable silence for a while, the sound of your boots crunching on the gravel road filling the air. The base had quieted down a bit as the sun dipped lower, the day easing into a calm that didn’t come often in a warzone.
As you walked, you couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Logan from time to time, trying to figure him out. He was so... different. From anyone you’d met. From any soldier you’d treated. And yet, he felt so familiar.
You found a small spot near one of the mess tents where a few crates had been stacked up like makeshift seats. Logan grabbed a canteen from his jacket, unscrewing the cap before taking a long drink. You raised an eyebrow at him.
“That better be water,” you joked, taking a seat beside him.
Logan handed you the canteen, smirking. “Try it and find out.”
You took a cautious sip, then immediately coughed, the burn of the alcohol catching you off guard. “God—what is this?”
“Something I picked up,” Logan said, eyes gleaming with amusement as you wiped your mouth. “Figured it’d help take the edge off.”
You gave him a playful glare, handing the canteen back. “Next time, a little warning, maybe?”
Logan shrugged, grinning. “Where’s the fun in that?”
You shook your head, smiling despite yourself. “You’re trouble, Logan.”
He chuckled, leaning back against the crate. “Been called worse.”
The two of you sat there in comfortable silence for a few moments, passing the canteen back and forth. The alcohol burned, but it wasn’t the worst thing you’d ever tasted—not by a long shot. And it did what Logan said it would—it took the edge off.
You studied him for a moment, the way he seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, even when he was sitting still. “You feel familiar,” you said quietly, your voice almost drowned out by the soft sounds of the base around you. “Like we’ve met before.”
Logan’s expression shifted—just for a second. His jaw tightened, his gaze flickering away from you and toward the horizon. “Maybe we have,” he murmured, his voice so low you almost didn’t catch it.
The words sent a strange, unexplainable shiver down your spine. You opened your mouth to ask him what he meant, but before you could, he stood up, stretching his arms over his head like he was shaking something off.
“C’mon,” he said, his voice lighter now, almost like he was forcing it. “You ready to head back?”
You blinked, still caught in the haze of the moment. But you nodded, standing up and brushing the dirt from your uniform. “Yeah, I guess so.”
The two of you walked back toward the barracks in silence, the air between you feeling heavier now. Something had shifted—something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. But you knew it wasn’t nothing.
When you reached the barracks, Logan stopped at the door, turning to look at you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.
“Y/N,” he started, his voice rougher than usual, like he was wrestling with something inside him. “If... if things ever get bad, you find me. Got it?”
You frowned, surprised by the seriousness in his tone. “Logan, what—”
“I’m serious,” he interrupted, his hazel eyes locking onto yours. “You find me. No matter what.”
You swallowed, nodding slowly. “Okay. I will.”
He held your gaze for a second longer, then nodded, like he was satisfied with your answer. “Good.”
Without another word, Logan turned and headed inside, leaving you standing there, the weight of his words settling over you like a heavy blanket.
What did he mean? Why did he look at you like he knew something you didn’t?
You lingered there for a moment before finally heading to your own quarters. But even as you lay in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, Logan’s words echoed in your mind.
You find me. No matter what.
---
The next few days were a strange mix of routine and tension. Logan stayed around the base, mostly keeping to himself, but you found yourself crossing paths with him more often than you expected. Every time, there was that same intensity in his gaze, like he was watching you, waiting for something.
It wasn’t uncomfortable, exactly. But it did make your chest tighten every time you saw him.
One evening, as the sun began to set, you found yourself wandering toward the edge of the base, needing a moment to clear your head. The war, the patients, the constant pressure—it was all getting to you. And Logan... well, Logan wasn’t making things any easier.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice him until he spoke.
“Need some company?”
You jumped slightly, turning to find Logan leaning against a tree, arms crossed over his chest, a small smirk tugging at his lips.
“Jeez, you scared me,” you said, placing a hand over your heart.
“Didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” he said, pushing off the tree and walking over to stand beside you. “You looked like you could use some company.”
You sighed, glancing out at the fading sun. “Yeah, I guess I could.”
Logan didn’t say anything for a moment, just stood there beside you, his presence solid and reassuring. After a few beats of silence, he spoke.
“You doin’ all right?” he asked, his voice softer than usual.
You shrugged, trying to brush it off. “It’s just... a lot sometimes, you know?”
Logan nodded, his eyes never leaving your face. “Yeah. I get it.”
There was something in the way he said it—something that made you believe he really did get it. Like he knew exactly what it felt like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
“Thanks for asking,” you said quietly, your gaze still focused on the horizon.
Logan was quiet for a long moment before he spoke again. “I meant what I said before,” he murmured. “You ever need anything... you come find me.”
You turned to look at him, the seriousness in his voice catching you off guard. “Logan... why are you doin’ this? Why are you looking out for me?”
Logan’s jaw tightened, and for a second, you thought he wasn’t going to answer. But then he spoke, his voice low and rough. “Because... you’re important. More than you know.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Important? How? Why?
Before you could ask, Logan stepped closer, his eyes locked onto yours. “Just promise me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Promise me you’ll come find me if you need to.”
You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. “I promise.”
Logan held your gaze for a moment longer, then nodded, satisfied. Without another word, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing there, your head spinning with questions.
You’re important. More than you know.
What did that mean? Why did Logan feel so... familiar?
As the sun dipped below the horizon, you stood there, your mind racing. Logan had secrets—secrets you weren’t sure you were ready to uncover. But one thing was clear: whatever was between the two of you, it wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.
---
On another day, you spotted Logan on the outskirts of base, sitting against a truck’s wheel with a notebook in hand.
He looked almost peaceful, maybe the most peaceful you’d ever seen him since he got here. Judging by the way he was moving his pencil, you assumed he was drawing something. You hesitated, not wanting to disturb him, but your curiosity got the better of you.
"Didn’t peg you for an artist," you said, walking over and leaning against the truck beside him.
Logan didn’t look up right away, just kept sketching, but there was a small smirk on his lips. "You learn a lot when you’ve got time," he muttered.
You glanced at the notebook, catching glimpses of rough lines and shadows. “What’re you drawing?”
He paused, almost like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to show you, then turned the notebook just enough for you to see. It was a sketch of the base—a surprisingly detailed one, with the buildings and surrounding trees, even some of the soldiers milling about.
“Not bad,” you said, genuinely impressed. “Didn’t know you had this in you.”
Logan shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “Like I said, a lot of time.” He looked at you then, and for a brief moment, there was something more behind his eyes, something deeper. “Keeps me grounded.”
You studied him, wondering what that really meant. Logan had always been a bit of a mystery, but there were moments—like now—where it felt like there was so much more to him than he let on.
“You ever thought about doing something with it? You know, beyond just sketches?” you asked, half teasing, half curious.
Logan let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “I’m not the ‘show-off my art’ type. It’s just... for me.” He glanced back at the drawing, his expression softening in a way you didn’t often see. “Helps me forget.”
You nodded, feeling a tug at your chest. “Forget what?”
For a moment, he didn’t answer. Then he said, “Everything.”
The weight in his voice told you there was more to that statement—more than you could guess. You’d learned over the past few days that Logan was carrying his own kind of burden, just like you were. And yet, somehow, it felt like his was so much heavier.
“Must be a lot to forget,” you said softly.
Logan’s gaze flicked up to meet yours, and for a second, you thought he might actually open up. But instead, he just gave a noncommittal grunt and went back to his sketching.
You watched him for a while, feeling the comfortable silence settle between you. It was odd, but Logan’s presence had become... something you looked forward to. Even with all the unspoken tension, being around him made things feel a little less overwhelming.
“I never thanked you,” you said after a while, breaking the quiet. “For, you know... looking out for me.”
Logan’s pencil paused again, and he glanced up. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“I do,” you insisted, your eyes meeting his. “You didn’t have to. But you did.”
Logan shifted, looking slightly uncomfortable with the gratitude, but his eyes softened. “I told you. You’re important.”
That word again—important. You wanted to ask him why, wanted to press him on what he really meant by that, but something in his expression told you he wasn’t ready to answer. Not yet.
“Just… stay outta trouble,” Logan said, his voice dropping into something rougher, more serious. “I’d rather not have to pull you out of any more messes.”
You smiled, trying to keep things light. “I’ll do my best. But, you know, being a nurse in the middle of a war, trouble kinda finds me.”
Logan let out a soft huff of a laugh, though there wasn’t much humor in it. “Yeah, I guess it does.”
The sky was growing darker now, the last traces of sunlight fading. You knew you should probably head back to the barracks soon, but something kept you rooted to the spot, standing beside him. The air between you felt charged, like there was something unspoken hanging there, waiting to be acknowledged.
“Logan,” you began, your voice quiet but steady. “Why does it feel like you’ve been watching me? Not just looking out for me, but... like you’ve known me.”
Logan’s jaw tightened. His eyes shifted, as if he was deciding whether to answer that. You could feel your heart thudding in your chest, waiting for his response.
“I haven’t,” he said finally, though his voice lacked conviction. “Not in the way you’re thinking.”
The way he said it made you frown. “What does that mean?”
Logan’s gaze held yours, intense and searching. There was a flicker of something there—regret? Pain? Before you could figure it out, he looked away, his fingers tightening around the edges of the notebook.
“It means… I don’t want you to get hurt,” he said, his voice low, almost a growl. “Not again.”
Again. There it was—a crack in the wall he’d built around himself. But before you could push him on it, Logan stood abruptly, tucking the notebook under his arm.
“You should get some rest,” he muttered, not meeting your eyes. “Long day tomorrow.”
You blinked, caught off guard by his sudden shift. “Logan—”
But he was already walking away, his back stiff and his pace quick. You watched him go, your mind spinning with more questions than answers. Something was going on with Logan—something bigger than you’d realized.
And you had a feeling you weren’t going to let it go until you found out the truth.
---
The next morning you found out that Logan had already gone on some mission to Sicily. You weren’t sure why you felt sad, maybe a bit betrayed that he left without saying goodbye, but you did.
You had only known him for a few days, but somehow it seemed longer.
You couldn’t just stand around and dwell on Logan leaving without a goodbye. There was work to do. You made your way to the medical tent where a doctor had been prepping for a surgery. As you stepped inside, the familiar scent of antiseptic hit your nose, grounding you in the moment.
"Y/N, glad you’re here. We’ve got a soldier with a bullet wound to the abdomen," the doctor said, his tone brisk. "I need your hands steady and sharp today."
You nodded, pushing thoughts of Logan to the back of your mind. "Got it, Doctor."
The surgery went on for hours, the steady rhythm of your breathing matching the precise movements of your hands as you assisted. It was intense, but you had no time to be distracted. Life and death were real here, and your job was to fight for life.
When the surgery was finally over, the soldier stabilized, you stepped outside the tent to catch your breath. The sky was still overcast, and the damp air felt heavy. You leaned against a wooden post, your hands shaking slightly from the adrenaline.
Logan was gone, but the memory of him lingered. You couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d left something unsaid. There had been too many moments—too many heavy, unspoken words between you. You tried to brush it off. It had only been a few days since you’d met him, after all. But somehow, it felt like more.
"Y/N."
You looked up to see one of the other nurses approaching. "Yeah?"
"You’ve been requested to assist with another unit. They’re setting up a temporary hospital closer to the front lines. It’ll be rough, but they need experienced hands."
You hesitated. The front lines meant more danger, more chaos. But the soldier in you—the part that was here to help, to make a difference—knew you couldn’t say no.
"When do I leave?" you asked, straightening up.
"Tomorrow morning, first light."
You nodded, giving a small smile. "Thanks for the heads-up."
That night, you tried to sleep, but your mind kept wandering back to Logan. To his last words before he’d left—"I don’t want you to get hurt. Not again." What had he meant by ‘again’? It kept echoing in your mind, nagging at you.
---
The next morning came quickly, and before you knew it, you were being packed into a truck heading closer to the front lines. The landscape passed by in a blur, and the closer you got to the new camp, the louder the sounds of war became. Shells exploded in the distance, and the ground seemed to vibrate with tension.
You spent the next few days in a haze of blood, bandages, and exhaustion. There was barely any time to think, let alone dwell on Logan. But still, every once in a while, your thoughts drifted to him—wondering where he was, what he was doing. If he was safe.
It was late one night, a few days into your new assignment, when the unexpected happened. The sirens had started to blare, lights flashing around camp. That could only mean one thing- you were under attack. And judging by the loud engines overhead, none of you were going to make it out alive.
---
Logan had gone with other soldiers to Sicily for Operation Husky. He didn’t want to leave you, but part of him thought, hoped, that maybe he was your bad luck charm.
Logan stared at the coastline of Sicily, but his mind was elsewhere. The mission was straightforward—get in, clear the path for the troops, and secure the area. But no matter how focused he tried to stay, thoughts of you kept creeping back in. He wondered if you were safe. He hoped, for your sake, that you weren’t thinking about him as much as he was thinking about you.
It was torture, being away. But deep down, Logan believed it was better this way. Maybe him being around was what doomed you every time. You had died three times before, and each time, he had been there. Maybe this time, distance would keep you safe.
But that didn’t stop him from wanting you. The thought of your smile, your laughter, the way you challenged him—it made him ache with something deeper than just desire. It was like an old wound that never healed, no matter how fast the rest of him did.
One of the soldiers called his name, pulling him from his thoughts. “Logan, you with us, man?”
He grunted in response, nodding toward the others. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“Good,” the guy said. “We’re heading out.”
Logan followed, but his thoughts drifted again, back to you. He had promised himself he wouldn’t get attached this time. But it was too late for that. He’d been attached since 1854, since that first smile, that first laugh.
---
It was a few days before Logan made it back to base, one closer to the frontlines. The mission had gone as planned, but something gnawed at him, an uneasy feeling he couldn’t shake.
As soon as the base came into view, Logan noticed something was off. Smoke still lingered in the air, and there were fewer people around than there should’ve been. His gut twisted. Something had happened while he was gone.
He found one of the soldiers he recognized, grabbing him by the arm. “What happened here?”
The guy’s face darkened. “We were hit. Bombing raid. Caught us off guard. There... there weren’t many survivors.”
Logan’s heart dropped. “Where’s the hospital unit?”
The soldier hesitated, eyes flicking away from Logan’s intense gaze. “It was one of the first targets. No one made it out.”
Logan felt like the ground had dropped from under him. “What do you mean, no one?” His voice was a low growl, almost dangerous.
The soldier shook his head. “I’m sorry, man. They didn’t stand a chance.”
Logan’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. The world around him blurred as the words sank in. You were gone. Again.
Without saying another word, Logan turned and walked toward what was left of the hospital tent. He had to see it for himself, even though part of him knew it was true. There was nothing left but rubble and debris.
His chest tightened, the weight of it crushing. You were gone. And he hadn’t been there to stop it. Again.
Logan stood there for what felt like hours, staring at the wreckage. He felt that familiar, burning anger rising inside him, but it was mixed with something else this time—grief. Deep, raw grief. He wanted to scream, to punch something, anything, but all he could do was stand there, numb.
He reached into his pocket, fingers brushing against the small velvet box he always carried with him. The engagement ring. The one he had never used.
It had been almost ninety years since he bought it. And still, he carried it, hoping one day he might finally be able to give it to you. But every time, every life, you slipped through his fingers.
Logan swallowed hard, his throat tight. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. How many more times he could lose you.
“Dammit,” he muttered under his breath, his voice rough with emotion.
He had thought putting distance between you two would protect you. But it didn’t matter. You were gone, just like the other times.
And now, once again, he was left with nothing but memories and that damned ring.
in this chapter logan is 111 years old and reader is around 24-27 years old.
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#james howlett x reader#james howlett x you#logan howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett fic#i love you in every time
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I’m once again here to talk about Scottho because something is WRONG with them.
We love to joke about Etho’s obsessions with Bdubs and Joel, but we don’t talk enough about the fact that Etho is SO comfortable with Scott for someone who doesn’t hang out with Scott much as far as we get to see. If you look at the escape room videos he’s in and some of his life series videos, you can hear that Etho’s very confident that he knows Scott well. He really enjoys joking around with Scott and doesn’t act as embarrassed around Scott as he sometimes does with other people.
Scott is not someone who a lot of the lifers pay close attention to, seeing as he’s not as hostile as a lot of the other lifers tend to be, but Etho very clearly pays close attention to Scott. He recognizes how good Scott is in the Life Series. He knows that Scott is a threat to be taken seriously. He has known that Scott’s a threat for a long time relative to the other life series players who got to know Scott through the life series. Additionally, I don’t think Scott has noticed this?? He always seemed a little taken aback whenever Etho read him like a book during Secret Life.
Etho has a lot of respect for Scott, which does make a lot of sense considering that Scott and Cleo are very similar and Etho has a lot of respect for Cleo. Scott is also close with Gem, who Etho has been roasted by enough times to know not to cross her, and I think he kind of applies that level of respect to Scott, too? Scott’s very witty and loves to tease his friends, but he very rarely teases Etho, yet Etho always seems to want to impress Scott. He approaches Scott with the same playfulness that he treats Cleo and Gem with, which is strange because Etho and Scott so hardly interact. They must talk a lot outside of videos or something, because they’re just so comfortable towards each other.
Additionally, it did something to me when, after Limited Life, where Scott and Etho were neighbors, Etho requested to be put on an MCC team, and Scott put Etho on his own team. Scott was so determined to make sure that Etho had a good time that he put the matter in his own hands, and Etho did have a good time. My gay little heart. Killing them with my mind.
P.S. I think Etho should get more obsessed with Scott. I think Scott should throw his hat in the “homosexually obsessed with Etho” ring, because Joel knows Scott too well and would make great competition while Bdubs is TERRIFIED of Scott for a thousand reasons. It would be so funny. And Scott is neutral about horses. He would be a perfect middle of the road addition to the “there is no heterosexual explanation for this” Etho obsessed men. Scott’s not on Hermitcraft (though he honestly is qualified to be in my opinion but I understand if he would rather focus on the many mini series he likes to partake in), but he is a chronic stream lurker, especially in the chats of people “he canonically had a qpr with” (Martyn’s words not mine)(don’t talk to me about majorwood stream moments)(i’ll get a nose bleed).
#scottho#scott smajor#smajor#ethoslab#etho#trafficblr#trafficshipping#smajor rarepairs my beloved#i need scott to flirt with a wider variety of men#please scott it cant be scar skizz jimmy and martyn forever#you have such a variety willing to love you and be loved by you
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Sweet man
Rafe Cameron x fem! Reader
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drugs, addiction. Cursing. Not proofread. I think that’s it.
->->->->->
Your friends meant well, they really did. they tried their best to watch after you and warn you about him but every time they tried you countered their points and ignored their pointed looks when you simply told them that they didn’t know him like you did.
JJ was so pissed at you constantly, Kie would judge you silently and John B would keep his mouth shut. You felt like you were walking on eggshells every time your phone went off, Rafes face lit up on the screen.
It all came to a head one night when Rafe called you during a movie night. He knew how your friends felt about him, he knew from the moment pope saw both of y’all together in a spot on the beach that was meant to be secluded and the usually levelheaded boy shook his head in disappointment.
“JJs gonna freak.” He had said, thinking he was out of Rafes earshot.
“I can’t help it, Pope.”
“Can’t or don’t want to?” Pope argued, it stung to hear him so blatantly disdainful of your actions.
“He’s different with me.”
“I’m sure he is.” Pope sighed.
Rafe didn’t care what your friends thought of him, they could fuck themselves for all he cared, but he could see the tears forming in your eyes and it made his stomach twist and his heart soften.
And since then if he knows you’re with your friends, he keeps his distance.
But tonight was different, he was sad and drunk, you could hear it in his voice as you ignored the pointed looks your friends were giving you.
“I need to see you.” Rafes voice was rough from exhaustion and his words were slurred by the effect of whatever he drank.
“I’m busy, hon. Is everything okay?” You sat up off the couch, JJ muttered under his breath as he wiped the aggravated expression on his face.
“You mean a lot to me,” he slurred, loud music was being played in the background, getting farther away as the seconds drew on, “you have to know that.”
“I know, baby,” JJ gagged dramatically and John B slapped his arm, you roll your eyes and make your way into the next room, “is something wrong?”
“I love you.” He pouts, his voice thick with drunken emotion.
“Oh yeah?” You smile, leaning against the porch railing.
“Yeah, I just- Top was being stupid and he was drunk and everyone was drunk and I might have been a little drunk but- that-that- it’s not the point.”
“What is the point?” You ask him and he sighs deeply.
“Well Top said something and he was so- I don’t think he knew what he was saying but we kinda got into it and he said- he just-” Rafe stops speaking abruptly and you hear a slight hiccup on the other end of the call, “I just really need to see you, I-i wanna hold you.”
“Rafe-” you start.
“You’re so nice to hold, did you know that? I love holding you. Just come here, let me hold you.” He pouts.
“Rafe, I’m with my friends right now, I can’t just leave, they’d be pissed if I flaked on them.” You reason and Rafe groans loudly.
“Just one time, baby. I miss you, I need to hold you. I-I just need to be able to- just please come over.”
“I can’t, Rafe. They’re already pissed that you called me tonight, but tomorrow morning I will be there to nurse your hangover and to hold you like my life depends on it.”
The silence on the other end of the phone call feels never ending and then the call ends and you’re left sitting there, wondering what the hell had gotten into him tonight.
You head back to the living room, taking back your spot on the couch.
“What’d he want?” JJ asks bitterly and pope flicks him on the temple.
“He just missed me.” You shrugged, refocusing on the tv.
“I’m sure he did.” JJ sighs.
“JJ, come on.” Sarah nudges his leg from her place on the floor.
“What do you mean ‘come on’? Are we just going to keep acting like absolutely nothing is happening? Like we don’t have a problem with this shit?”
“We don’t have a problem with it, Jaje. You do.” Kie sighs and JJ shakes his head.
“I don’t see why you guys think it’s better to just lie to her to protect her feelings, were her friends, we’re supposed to tell her the truth whether we think she’ll like it or not!” JJ insists and you shuffle uncomfortably in your seat.
“We don’t have a problem with her dating him, we just have a problem with him. She knows that.” Pope shrugs.
“Can you guys not talk about me like I’m not sitting right here?” You mutter under your breath and JJ nods.
“Of course, sweetheart.” He says, turning himself so his feet are sat on the couch in front of him and he’s facing you, “I hate your boyfriend.”
“I know, JJ.”
“And it’s your life so you’re free to do whatever you want, we just don’t get why you’re doing whatever you want- with him.” He explains further.
“Because I like him.” You shrug.
“That’s the part we’re not quite understanding.” JJ clarifies.
“I like him. He’s sweet to me and he always defends me. He respects my emotions and my wishes and he never lets his emotions about the people around me affect how he treats me and I- I like him.” You shrug.
“I genuinely find that hard to believe.” Kie mutters and you scoff.
“Well that makes sense for you kie.”
“What does that mean?” She asks and you shrug.
“Nothing, you’re just a very cynical person.”
“I’m cynical for a reason.”
“I don’t doubt that, I just wish that your trust in my judgment could overshadow that cynicism sometimes.” You argue and she sighs heavily.
“You’re too naive to have good judgement.” Kie accuses and you roll your eyes.
“Okay, Kie.” You sigh, staring at the ceiling.
“We just really don’t want you to get hurt.” Sarah says in an attempt to diffuse the tension.
“I get that, I understand that much, I use don’t understand why you guys won’t trust me on this.”
“We trust you.” Pope says and your skeptical look makes him sigh, “we really do. We’re just kind of wary about him.”
“I know I just- he’s so sweet with me. I feel so protected with him and he’s really different when he’s with me.” You try using your regular argument for ending these discussions but today they aren’t having it.
“I believe you when you say that he has a good streak, I get that, but it’s his bad streak we’re more worried about. What happens when you guys have your first fight? Or when he sees you talking to a different guy and he gets jealous?” Sarah responds calmly.
“We’ve had arguments before, he never lets them escalate past arguments and he’s seen me with different friends of mine that are guys and I mean- he is a bit tenser but the tension diffuses so quickly and he’s just sweet as can be.”
You feel like you’re trying to convince them the tooth fairy is real. They’re all staring at you in utter disappointment and disbelief.
“He’s crazy is what he is.” JJ pipes up and you roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time.
“JJ, I’m really trying. And he is too. He respects my relationship with you guys, even if he’s not y’all’s biggest fan.”
“That is a wild understatement.” John B retorts and you narrow your eyes at him, he speaks up before you can send a snarky remark his way, “he’s reckless and sometimes a danger to even himself. He used to be a raging addict, and even if he’s not still a total dick, he still is the fucking worst.”
“I don’t think you or JJ can say a thing concerning recklessness and he’s been clean for like a year now. He’s doing his best.”
“Say what you want about him, it’s your life so do what you want,” JJ exhales through his nose, “but just know that he’s one bump away from homicidal.”
You stare at each of your friends, the judgmental looks on their faces enough to upset and anger you.
“Why can’t you just trust me? I know him, I know him fully. I know he can be so genuinely sweet and-and the most loving and he has such potential to be so good and he’s trying to get there.” You look at JJ as you begin to tear up in desperation, he doesn’t meet your eyes, his gaze trained on the couch cushion between the two of you, “whatever. No matter how I or he tries to prove it you won’t believe me.”
You get off of the couch and grab your bag from by the coffee table, your friends calling after you.
The only one who gets up to run after you is JJ. He catches up somewhat effortlessly and loops his fingers around your wrist, “sweetheart, come on.”
“You won’t listen to me. I’m not gonna sit in there and listen as you guys insult and degrade my boyfriend. I can’t do it, JJ.” The tears are flowing consistently now and JJ can’t stand seeing you cry but he knows that isn’t any reason to agree with you.
“We just want you safe. I want you safe. We’ve seen the shit he’s capable of and it’s not pretty. He can be reckless and violent and we don’t want that for you. Sweetheart you’ve gotta understand that.” He says, reaching for your other wrist but you shake your head.
“But I’ve also seen what he’s capable of. He can be so good JJ and he really trying, please just- even if you don’t believe me, just trust me.” You plead and JJ just stares at you for a moment. Tears framing his eyes as he tries in earnest to see Rafe as anything that can possibly good for you.
“I’m sorry.” His voice wavers as he drops your hands, “I want to see what you do, I don’t want to spend my energy hating someone who makes you happy but you have to understand-“
“I understand I just- I have to go.” You sniffle and he nods, watching you as you walk away from the house, cursing before dejectedly heading back inside.
->->->->->
Rafe wasn’t home when you got there so you sat on the porch swing, attempting to self soothe as you waited for him.
When his truck pulls up he doesn’t notice you there for a minute as he attempts to find his keys in his pocket.
When he looks up he sees you, curled up on the porch swing.
“Weren’t you drunk?” You sniff and he shakes his head.
“I stopped drinking after I called you, drank some water and waited until I was sober enough to drive, what happened?” He asks, staring at you like you fell from the sky.
“They hate you.” You mumble.
“Who? Your friends?”, You nod and sniffle again, wiping your eyes for the umpteenth time, “let’s go inside, baby.”
He offers you his hands and practically lifts you off of the porch swing, his hand landing on the small of your back as he led you inside and through the house until you got to his bedroom.
He sat you on the bed while he changed, stopping every so often to kiss you on the cheek or forehead.
When he sits back next to you he pulls you into his chest, “what happened, baby?”
“You called and the I went inside and they just started saying all this shit. I’m not even upset that they don’t like you I just wish they trusted my judgment a bit more.”
“What did they say?” He asks, his voice hardening.
“Rafe-“
“What did they say, sweetness?” His voice softens once again as he refocuses on you, moving the hair out of your face.
“That you’re reckless and violent and that when you were an addict you were-“
“Yeah. Yeah I was.” He sighs, “I get that they don’t like me, that’s fine, and far be it from me to defend those assholes,” you give him a look that’s almost a pout and he backtracks, “I know, let me finish. Everything they said is true, in fact I was probably worse than they described me. And despite how I feel about them, they do really care about you. I don’t think trust they’ve ever questioned their trust in you but me-“
“But you’re trying to be better.”
“I am, sweets, I really am. But that doesn’t change what they saw. They don’t trust me with you. That’s all it is.” He shrugs, kissing your forehead and rubbing the side of your arm.
“You do realize you just spent the last five minutes defending them, right?” You smile and he exhales, letting his head hang dramatically, feigning shame.
“I would rather my ego take a hit than your feelings, baby.” He sighs and you smile wide.
“You’re so sweet.” You gush and he groans, falling back onto the bed and dragging you down with him as you laugh.
“No, I’m not sweet. I’m brooding and surly.”
“Maybe to everyone else but to me you’re just the sweetest.” You smile.
“That’s because you’re impossible to be even a little mean to.” He turns on his side to face you, his head rested on his arm.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that all it takes is those pretty eyes looking up at me and suddenly all the mean bones in my body turn to mush, making it impossible for me to be mean to you.” He jokes, pulling you closer to him by your waist and enveloping you in his warmth.
Everything slips away as he pushes your chin up to reach your lips, his hands making their way into your hair. You hum against his lips, so perfectly content. Once you pull away the blush fans across your cheeks and you hide in his neck.
His chest vibrates against you as he laughs softly at you and your flustered state.
“You’re so damn precious.” He sighs.
“I love you.” You smile shyly and he sighs, his eyes soft and so happy to be holding your gaze.
“I love you too.”
#rafe obx#rafe x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff
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michael sheen KNEW what he was doing with those shaky grasps at crowley's back during the kiss he was literally thinking "oh all the mentally ill gay people are gonna crop this shot down to just my hands and set it as their header image on tumblr" whilst smiling evilly against david tennant's lips it was CALCULATED
#i just know he had the time of his life acting his heart out during that scene and i hate him for it#good omens#good omens spoilers#michael sheen
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The first real conversation Katniss has with Peeta is when he tells her that he wants to die as himself, that he doesn't want the games to change him into something he's not, and that he wants to keep his identity and prove he's more than just a piece in their games because that's the only thing he has left to care about.
The first time we see Lucy Gray she sings a song that basically says that nothing they could take from her was worth keeping. "Can't take my past. Can't take my history... You can't take my charm. You can't take my health."
The capitol has taken everything from them both, but at the same time, they could never take away who they are.
They are both likeable charismatic and funny, with the kindest hearts, and incredibly loyal to the people they care about.
At the same time, everything they do before the games, and during is calculated. Lucy Gray singing a love song and winning the hearts of the capitol. Peeta confesses he's in love with his district partner, therefore cementing her identity as desirable. Both of them know how to sway people with words, how to charm people, and how to manipulate crowds. Neither of them has any problem doing so to keep themselves, and the people they love safe.
Lucy Gray's song The Old Therebefore, about learning how to love and live her life to the fullest before death, a final and calculated stroke in a last-ditch effort to save herself from the arena. This evokes enough emotion in the watchers to get them to rise to their feet and plead for her life alongside Snow.
Snow, watching the 74th and preparing for the 75th Hunger Games sees Lucy Gray in Katniss. A young girl, from the 12th district. Unafraid at the reaping. Selling a false love story, manipulating a boy who loves her in order to get out and supporting the revolution with the mockingjay as her symbol.
He threatens her family to get her to sell that she and Peeta are in love, to prevent the revolution, because obviously, she's pretending. He's had experience with a girl just like her before. He has no doubt that she has the acting ability to sell this story because clearly, she manipulated the first Hunger Games in her favor, the same way Lucy Gray manipulated him.
Watching the interviews for the 75th Hunger Games he realizes-
Katniss is just an impulsive girl, in a Mockingjay dress she didn't know about, made by someone who supports the revolution.
Peeta is a boy who has the ability to move people with just his words. He made Katniss desirable, he was the one who sold the love story, and he was the one to make their romance seem real. Katniss only started the revolution because she would rather risk dying with him than live without him. A concept President Snow was completely unfamiliar with. And it is with all these realizations crashing around him Peeta drops the baby bomb. He knows the baby's not real, and so does Snow. But it evokes enough emotion in the watchers to get them to rise to their feet and plead for the lives of the tributes.
Is it Lucy Gray or Peeta?
By the time Snow realizes he's made a mistake, it's too late.
Peeta is still charming and manipulating the capitol. Katniss is in love.
He goes up against a kindhearted boy expecting to beat Sejanus again, only to find out that it's Lucy Gray he's fighting; knowing he will never be able to escape their ghosts.
-from a conversation i had with @grandtyphoonpoetry breaking down every character in the hunger games.
#I have so many thoughts about this#they are so powerful with their words#i will never get over how many different kinds of power fueled this revolution#everything came full circle#peeta mellark#lucy gray baird#katniss everdeen#coriolanus snow#president snow#the hunger games#hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#ballad of songbirds and snakes
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[ SMAU + DRABBLE ] 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 ! ( fifth installment ) in which you find toji fushiguro’s number off a sugar baby site .
୨୧˚ part; one. two. three. four. five. six. seven. eight. nine. ten. eleven.
୨୧˚ incl; toji fushiguro
୨୧˚ cw; sugar mommy! reader , sugar baby! toji , mommy kink , drug + alcohol usage , smut drabble , submissive toji , soft sex , profanity
୨୧˚ an; guys… i don’t know what took over me when i wrote this one….im sorry ,, also yes drabble time, you all knew this would happen eventually don’t act surprised 🙄🙄🙄
come over and show me then
The last message Toji had sent you. He was bold, heart racing just the slightest bit when he thumbed that frightening, little arrow icon to send a text that would most likely change his whole relationship chemistry with you. You, the kind hearted woman who graced him with your undying benevolence and wealth.
You, the woman Toji called mommy not even twelve hours ago during an idiotic, drunken stupor.
You, the woman who graced his bed, peering up to him with the softest gaze Toji’d ever been observed with. It was an odd sight–you splayed on his mattress. Dawning a lavish top; silken, Toji absentmindedly recognizes the fabric ( then proceeds to grimace at the fact that he can actually discern between different breeds of fabric. Your lifestyle was rubbing off on him ) and thinks you look out of place. An expensive jewel among the dank cave of his shoddy bedroom.
Toji crawls in after you, winding up your side, clinging akin to a baby koala bear. Still, he doesn’t speak, preferring to let the sounds of sheets sliding against each other fill the gaps of silence. You take his hulking body in those loving arms and break the quiet. “I’m not buying you for the night.” You cradle his cheek; you make him look up to you and Toji nods under your hand. “You know that, right?”
He nods again. “Sure,” and for once, it comes out without a modicum of sarcasm. Because Toji believes it when you tell him that you’re not looking to gain access to his body through flimsy transactions. Your sincerity is displayed through the months of torturous anticipation. Months of him on the cusp of begging–and Toji Fushiguro has never begged for anything in his goddamned miserable life. Your sincerity is displayed through the gingerness in which you hold his face. Because how could someone with such gentle hands ever tell a lie? And your sincerity is displayed through your words. You tell Toji things that nobody has ever told him before. Nice things, reassuring things despite his insistence on being an asshole to you.
Toji pushes his torso to be propped up on an elbow before he leans in. It’s not a tame first kiss by any means; Toji is mammalian in the way his teeth gnash yours and his tongue laves your cupid’s bow. “Slow,” you whisper in the short absence of his lips. “Slowly.” A command that he feels inclined to follow like some kept mutt, swapping out the animalistic pace with a more refined, controlled tempo. Your face was swallowed by two massive hands; they clamped on either side of your jaw, calloused and dry and forcefully pulling you closer. “Just like that, Toji.”
The way you say his name… Fuck. Toji grunts, swinging a heavy thigh over your own to situate between your legs. “I’ve never,” there's a pause when he leans in to suck the tip of your tongue, “been so desperate to be inside a woman.” His thick tongue worms back into your mouth, pushing smoky saliva down your throat. You were writhing; your hand slides over his, the one still tending to your cheek, and you guide it lower. He let you drag his hand down the smooth slope of your neck, over the hill of your delicate chest, across the plain of your soft tummy to meet the waistband of your designer pants.
Your head tilts, something devious glinting in the colored rings of your eyes that have Toji so enchanted. He plucks at the brass button of your pants, nudging the point of his nose to the high of your cheekbone. Breathing in the luxury branded perfume that overpowered the cigarette stench still lingering in his room from his morning smoke; evidenced by the stub crumbled in the glass tray on his wobbly nightstand. “What about the girl…Girl from last night?”
Toji smiles at the breathy question. “What girl?” He hums cheekily against your mouth, letting his tongue slip back through the seam of your delicious lips. You slap his face rather playful, but his breath hitches all the same.
“Dick.”
At last, he pops the button. The acrylic of your nails sink into the meat of his forearm, legs widening, ass shifting; all of the signs that Toji hyperfixated on. The way you tell him to keep going without so much as saying a word has him hotter than anytime another woman has begged for his touch in bed. Toji kisses you as he dips beneath the ajar slacks, then those sheer panties, slipping down to where you needed him most. You’re wet, he notes to himself. Wet, squelching and red hot when his thick middle finger sandwiches itself between the labia.
Both pairs of legs tangled together amidst the desperation. While Toji touches you, you’re hiking your leg up–the one snuggled between two of the man’s built thighs. It presses to his clothed crotch, and you reach around grab a handful of his ass. “Hump it,” you dictate, using his ass cheek as leverage to pull his hips down against your awaiting thigh. Toji jolts; never had his ass been grabbed like that, but he thinks he likes it.
So he grinds. His groin crashes against your leg with rough enthusiasm, so rough that it should be a threat to your poor femur bone. But he doesn’t let up. Toji’s arm tenses and shakes with exertion as he fingers you, forearm burning from the intensity at which he moves. But he doesn’t let up.
“Fuck,” he huffs. “Fuck.”
What is he, some kind of dog? Chasing his high against a leg, licking your neck, barking obscenities into existence. Had you been anyone else, Toji would have had them bent at the waist over his bed, forcing their face into his lonesome pillow and taking what he needed. But you had this certain authority–you’d always had–as if you owned him. Not that you would ever admit that, nor did you believe it, but Toji did. You pay for his living quarters, his meals, his clothes, his car, hell, his time. The leash was cuffed at his throat, leather digging into his flesh, and he fucking loved it. Toji would wait for your instructions like a well behaved puppy.
“Take my pants off,” you utter, and it’s only then does Toji realize that the both of you hadn’t bothered shedding any layers, taking favor in rutting clothed bodies together like a couple of immature teens. His hips pause their humping, and his tongue finds one long, last lick to your jugular before pulling back.
Two thumbs hook beneath both layers of material at your hips. “Can’t believe you made me wait this long,” he mutters offhandedly, dragging your pants down.
You’re bare. His mouth waters at the sight of glistening moisture between your legs, encapsulated by a dusting of hair. Toji stares, nestled on his knees, straddling your thigh. He just stares.
“I told you my reasons,” you say.
He doesn’t respond to that. “I want to fuck you.”
Your chest rises. Are you arching for him? “Ask me.” When he cocks a confused brow, you lightly elaborate. “Show me some of that respect I taught you and ask me nicely.”
The sole of your foot caresses his pec over the black tee shirt he sports, a gentle notion that he is allowed to take his time. Toji doesn’t need time though; he’s got your twisted little request all figured out. It’s funny, he shouldn’t have expected any less. To him, respect didn’t exist in the bedroom, but Toji would make an exception. “Will you let me fuck you tonight?” You’re not letting him get off that easy, your pointed eyes say it all. So, in an uncharacteristically piteous voice, the man adds “please, ma’am” and strokes your calf for good measure.
That does it.
Your legs spread, arms racing up to coil around the thick post of his neck. He lets you pull him down, lets you kiss him tenderly, lets your tongue curl behind his teeth. Toji groans, reaching a sticky hand down to clumsily shove his sweatpants around his ass. “You have no–” kiss “idea what you–” kiss “you do to me–” kiss, kiss “when you call me that.”
His length drags over your core, hot and heavy and thick and raw. He doesn’t move to grab a condom knowing damn well there’s a box that sits in his nightstand to the left of them. A box that has been forgotten, left untouched in the waking months of his realization that he doesn’t want to fuck other people. Why would he? When you take such good fucking care of him, what’s the point in sleeping around anymore?
“Be grateful,” Toji husks, rubbing up against the warmth beneath him. “‘M never this nice in bed.”
“I’m not, either.”
He throbs at that. A small hand snakes behind his head, weaving into the raven shag of his hair, and tugs. “I really never meant for this to happen.” Toji narrows those steely eyes at you. “To end up in your bed, I mean. I thought I had more resolve than this.”
Too bad money can’t buy resolve, he thinks inwardly. Hand still between bodies, Toji jerks himself slowly, soaking his tip in your entrance. His gaze is glued to your face, flitting amidst all the gorgeous features it had to offer. “I knew I’d get you here eventually,” he speaks with a lilt of confidence, prodding the point of his nose to yours. And then he pushes inside without warning. You’re gooey; a hot, wet heat encasing his body from head to toe. He feels you shudder, feels nails in his nape. He feels your sticky breaths on his cheek, feels your pillowy thighs squish against his hip bones. Toji serves you the entire length in one slow thrust, holding himself inside. “Fuck.”
“Slow,” you warn once more in a broken voice. His hair was grabbed again, you used it as a makeshift handlebar to yank Toji’s head down. His handsome face plummeted into the divot between your breasts, still gift wrapped in that undoubtedly overpriced shirt. His nose pressed to your sternum, taking deep inhales.
Slow.
Slow sex was unfamiliar territory to Toji, one among the list of foreign concepts you had introduced to him during your time together. Fucking was animalistic practice between two people, fast-paced and greedy and surprisingly lonely. Toji fucked with the intention of climaxing; intimacy is irrelevant. Was irrelevant.
Toji slips a hand beneath your back, locking a grip on the underside of your shoulder to weld your chest to his face. Slow, timely thrusts met your cunt, watery squelches filled the room. “Oh, fuck.”
Your hands wander. Crawling down the base of his spine, breezing over his tail bone, clutching his bare ass. Guiding him in a way, and he doesn’t entirely mind. “My boy,” you moan in the throes of pleasure, a free hand blindly feeling for the back of his sweaty neck. Fingers stroke the precious skin there, sensitive flesh that nobody has ever paid attention to, not even himself. Toji trembles.
“Take it,” he whispers back, as if he still had any semblance of control. But you let him, and he thinks you’re too fucking nice for sparing his pride like that. “Take it, goddamn it.”
“Yes, my sweet boy.”
Idiotic. He is no longer a boy, nor does he even slightly compare to anything sweet. God, if you knew him. If you knew what he did for work… How many people he’s gutted and bled like livestock for quick cash… You would leave. He knows this to be a fact of life, you’re simply too moralistic and caring and selfless to keep in contact with a monster like him.
“Let mommy take care of you.”
Oh Jesus Christ, he’s done for. You wax praises so sincere that Toji starts to let himself believe he’s good. He pretends he’s worthy of being here with you right now in this bed, with your lithe fingers petting his damp hair and your breasts against his cheek, and fucks you harder. The toes of two socked feet bury into the mattress.
You successfully conquered his flimsy pride. “Mom… my…,” Toji breathes out, stifling down the impending whine caught at the back of his esophagus. He bucks deep inside, pubic bone to pubic bone, and grabs a handful of tit. So fucking soft even under this stupid shirt.
The sex plays out this way until the very end. A gentle tango that reminds Toji he hadn’t actually fucked in missionary position for some time. But at last, you came around him. “Toji, baby I’m here.” As if you were charged with electricity, you twitched and jumped beneath him. Toji fucked you through it, grinding his hips in a trajectory that caught your clit with his pubic hair. The friction was passionate, and you came with your jaw unhinged on a silent yelp.
“Give it to me,” he rasped, tongue lolling out to lick at your cleavage through your shirt. Drool rolled down the palate, collecting into a small puddle and dampening the fabric. A messy puppy, drooling all over you like that. Toji fucked harder, much too hard to be considered ‘slow’ anymore, but you didn’t stop him.
“Come on.” A hand dips beneath the collar of Toji’s tight shirt, scratching the ever loving fuck out of his upper back. “Cum baby boy.”
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuckfuckfuck.” The thrusts halt abruptly; Toji rams himself deep inside and holds onto you for dear life. There’s a brief pause before he empties himself into the deepest depths of your pussy, twitching as he does so. You coo, talking him through it with an inoffensive hand raking his bangs back. They stick, his sweat acting like a sort of natural gel, and Toji’s forehead is on display. You drag him up and press your lips to it—he flushes and drops back onto you, hiding in your neck.
Toji gasps on his come down, gulping in air through his nose. He’s weak and it’s strange. Despite the stupid amount of strength trapped within that Herculean body, Toji cannot find it in him to hover anymore. His entire weight drops onto your much tinier frame, but he hears no objections so he keeps himself there.
“Worth the buildup?” You ask at last, rubbing soothing circles into the plates of his shoulder blades. Your voice is a little strained, no doubt the effects of a two-hundred-and-something-pound man crushing your lungs, but Toji likes the funny grate of it in his ears.
“You already know the answer.” It’s written in the way your cum mixes together and wets the crease of his inner thighs. He’s not exactly going to say that was the most intimate and passionate sex i’ve ever had, but he’ll show you how much it meant to him by letting you cradle him to your chest.
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tags . • @4imhry @sugurubabe @mastermasterlist1p1 @mikisspeak @fluttershyfangs @iluv-ace @xstom @bratbby333 @mizzfizz @sserafin @wo-ming-bai @maexc @r0ckst4rjk @aesukuni
#❝ 𝐑𝐀��’𝐒 𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄 ❞#jjk smau#jjk texts#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#jjk smut#toji smut#toji fushigro x reader#toji smau#toji drabbles#toji fluff#toji fushiguro#fushiguro smut#toji zenin#zenin smut#geto smut#choso smut#gojo smut#nanami smut#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu sorcerer
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So my Batfamily brain rot is back (not that it ever really left) and I just had a thought like…
If you’re a henchman/criminal in Gotham, seeing your life flash past your eyes is gonna be a somewhat regular occurance but… what if like… the thing that truly made a henchman’s heart fall to his ass was when they hit Robin just a little too hard and this 10 year old kid just starts crying and goes ‘Daaaaaadddd!’
That’s the moment when they truly think they’re going to die because said dad, the kid is calling for is a 6’6 demon from hell who’s all muscle and shadows and vengance and a lot of Gotham still thinks he’s a cryptid
The henchmen all drop their guns and try to calm the kid down but it’s over in 5 seconds flat. Batman breaks several bones before speaking to Robin in the softest voice they’ve ever heard him use and the criminal world, who was already a bit hesitant to fight a kid have even more reason to take it just a little easy on Robin.
And like, I can picture different reactions with every Robin.
Like, for Dick, he’s ten and we all know he was the most violent Robin second only to Damian so maybe when he’s ten or eleven and has calmed down a little, a henchback who still remembers what a little shit he used to be decides to get back at Robin, slips on a pair of brass knuckles and BAM
And then, little Dick just stares for a moment in shock, cheek already starting to bruise, the criminals he’d been fighting all stay still because it was a nasty punch and then…
“Daaaaad!!!” He cries out in a whiny voice that reminds them that Robin really is just a kid and it all clicks into place.
Even Bruce wasn’t expecting that, Dick has just started calling him dad and he still isn’t used to being called that so to hear his kid calling for him in the moment where he is startled and hurt and a little scared… the henchmen don’t even have time to react and they wake up in the hospital with concussions and maybe a few broken bones.
It doesn’t take Dick long to calm down, it was mostly that the hit from a random henchmen really startled him and got him right in the cheekbone. But Bruce still finishes patrol early and Dick still hides under Bruce’s cape all the way to the Batmobile.
Then comes Jason and Jason was such a sweet kid, I headcannon he was the one that called Bruce dad the most often while being Robin. So one night during patrol maybe he finds himself fighting Penguin or Two-Face and it’s been a long night and he has an exam the following day and Bruce is fighting another villain at the other side of the warehouse
The point is, the henchmen and Two-Face start landing hits on eleven year old Jason in his gut and at some point he loses sight of Batman fighting on the other side of the room. Jason gets scared because he’s never really fought without Batman and while he knows that Bruce is still in the warehouse, he can’t see him and the handle of a gun hits the back of his ankle and he falls and he sees Two-Face or Penguin or one of the henchmen getting ready to grab the front of his uniform and beat him up and…
“Daaaaddd!”
The criminals freeze for a moment. They’ve heard the stories of what happened the last time a Robin called scared for dad.
They’re fucked.
They all drop their guns and try to get Jason to calm down, but he’s crying just a little bit and calls again, his voice breaking and despite having been at the other side of the warehouse just a second ago, Bruce somehow drops from the ceiling and it’s over before the criminals can keep pleading with Robin to calm down.
Jason tries to apologize for ‘acting like a baby’ but Bruce is having none of it and carries him back to the Batmobile and Jason is happy to just hide his face in Bruce’s cape because he knows his dad will always be there to save him.
Then comes Tim.
And Tim gets found out while doing reconnisance and somehow he finds himself face to face with Bane who manages to wrench away his bo staff and Tim is just eleven and he is scared because Bane doesn’t look like he’s going to hold back
All Tim knows is that the crack he hears must surely be his ribs either cracking or breaking and he can’t breath and he can only muster enough air for a single word… and he calls for his dad through tears and fear
And at this point… at this point Batman has already lost a Robin, Tim may not be his legally but he is his son just as much as Jason was
Bane spends a month in the ICU
Tim is embarrased that he reacted like that. He thinks it makes him less of a Robin to called scared for Batman… for dad.
So Bruce tells him of the other two times it happened. It’s one of the first times he’s spoken about Jason to Tim so bluntly.
Then comes Stephanie.
Stephanie never calls Bruce dad when she’s Robin. She’s not his daughter and he’s not her dad. They’re not sure what exactly they are to one another.
As far as Bruce knows, Stephanie’s version of Robin never called out to him when she was scared.
What he doesn’t know is that it did happen. Just once
It was the last time she was Robin. When Black Mask had her and she thought she was going to die
At some point while bleeding and feeling nauseous and so scared she could barely hear anything that wasn’t her own heart beating wildly against her chest… she called for dad. Not for Arthur Brown, but for Bruce
Black Mask laughed at her
Stephanie never tells Bruce
And finally… Damian
Now, we know Damian would probably never be startled enough to call for Bruce out of instinct, so I can see 2 scenarios in which this could happen.
First, he sees another kid do it. He sees a kid close to his own age laughing and playing, then tripping and staying quiet for a split second before crying out for mom and dad and he just… assumes that’s something kids do when scared and hurt and startled and does it mostly in an attempt to be a little more ‘normal’
Or, my favorite scenario… he hears of the other times it has happened. He overhears maybe Dick remind Jason of what Bruce did when Jason called out to dad as Robin. Tim maybe jokes that a Robin calling for dad is still the villains’ greatest fear
So Damian stores that knowledge away as a battle strategy just in case he ever needs it… and maybe a small part of him wants to put it to the test, to see if his father would protect him as brutally as he’s protected the Robins before him
So some random night during patrol, he’s up against several henchmen, a few of them grab him from behind, trying to hold him down. Damian is fighting against them when one of them swings a cylinder of metal that Damian thinks might’ve been meant for the plumbing and…
The henchman breaks Damian’s nose, there’s blood dripping down his chin and staining his uniform
Now… it is most certainly not the first time he’s broken something, he’s more than used to the pain, in fact, he barely feels it. However, it gives him a chance to put his little theory to the test
And so Damian allows himself to sound like the ten year old that he is and in a whiny, teary voice, goes… “Babaaaaa!” (Bonus points if it’s the first or second time he’s called Bruce baba instead of father)
What Damian didn’t take into account though, is that Batman and Robin aren’t the only ones on patrol that night. They made a big bust. The biggest part of the operation was over but they were still fighting a few stragglers. The whole fucking family is here.
And they all hear his cry.
Damian doesn’t think he’s ever seen a fight end so quickly. The henchmen only have a split-second of surprise before vanishing, being tackled or shot or having knives buried on their shoulders by his siblings.
The one that actually broke Damian’s nose is being beaten up by Nightwing, Damian doesn’t think he’s ever seen Grayson so angry.
A shadow kneels in front of him, father. Baba. He’s checking Damian and Todd is right at his side, both speaking in hushed tones, checking his injuries and wiping the tears that usually came with a broken nose.
And now… Damian is used to his father and Grayson treating him like a child, trying to be as soft as they can with him. Even Cain does it to some extent.
But… having Drake wrap an arm around him, calling him baby when knocking out one of the criminals that had hurt him ‘that’s my fucking baby brother!’ and continue to hold him later into the night on the couch, having Brown willingly give up all the snacks she keeps in her utility belt and promise to take him to Batburger the following day for milkshakes because he was ‘a champ’. And Thomas wraps his favorite blanket around Damian while they’re fixing him up.
Todd decides to stay the night at the manor. Which he never does. They all decide to spend the night at the manor when Damian still sniffles on the Batmobile and they have breakfast all of them together. Which Damian isn’t sure has ever happened before and Cain gets Alfred to make pancakes with chocolate chips instead of blueberries.
They call him baby in hushed whispers but for once, it doesn’t bother him even though it really should
But most of all, Bruce refuses to let him go for a good five minutes after he first cries for him. Smoothing down his hair and whispering that it’ll be okay and just being soft in a way Damian has never seen before.
He sleeps between his Baba and Grayson and he knows that Todd and Drake and Cain check in on them at least twice in the night for some reason.
And he realizes it’s… it’s nice. Maybe this really could be an effective battle strategy to be employed again someday.
#batman#batfam#batfamily#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batfamily headcanons#batkids#Robins
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the party
PART TWO OF THE PROJECT / part one ⭑.ᐟ ★ pairing: softdom!bangchan x inexperiencedfem!reader
✦summary: The inevitable closeness and attraction with Chan is still there, once he can finally touch you, it only remains for him to show you slowly a little bit of his world.
♡ genre - warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, college au, grinding, clitplay, fingering, handjob, mutual masturbation, piv, pet names, hints of fluff.
word count: 8.2k
miniplaylist: house of balloons by the weeknd / 2 on by tinashe / collide by justine skye / lost in the fire by the weeknd / connected by bang chan
masterlist - taglist ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
a/n: i made it fluffier than it should be oops
After that night of released tensions, there was nothing but an obvious closeness between you and Chan, moments after you finished with your first oral sex, he saw you, so confused with such a sweet expression for him, tired, trying to recover, so wet between your orgasm and his saliva, so he held back, held back so much from not fucking you at that very moment, from pulling his cock out and waiting to be satisfied, so he only admired your exposed pussy once more, your body moving and closing your legs slightly slowly, him with such a sweet but arrogant smile. Chan wiped his mouth to approach you and give you a small kiss on your forehead, feeling close to him your agitated complexion and heavy breathing, you couldn't think of anything else but to regain your stability, but at the same time you wondered anxiously if after all the foreplay Chan would dare to fuck you. But you forgot it all once you felt a tender kiss on your face instead.
“Get some rest, baby, let's finish tomorrow, okay?” he whispered to you, shuddering every part of your sensitive body.
You assumed he was talking about the project. You obeyed him, cleaning up your little mess and did something you never thought you would do, at least not now, as unexpectedly as your hot encounter was, you offered him to sleep over at your apartment, a proposal which Chan accepted with much joy, his heart beating out of his chest, simply because he liked you too much, seeing him in such a sweet act as he read your shy movements when you told him that, beyond seeing himself as he used to before: spending the night at a woman's home since he wanted to fuck her all night but you… with your cheeks still hot, Chan knew perfectly well that your intentions were pure and out of kindness, and that drove him even crazier, out of tenderness.
He insisted on sleeping on the couch to not make you uncomfortable since you had an extra room but there was no other bed and you… swallowing all your pride persuading him that it was more than okay for him to sleep with you since you suddenly needed his body close to yours, you didn't tell him any of that, you just argued that he must be tired and that your bed was even more comfortable. He agreed, wearing your most oversized sweatpants you had, still fitting his muscular body, and you slept comfortably in his arms, after giving you a very pleasant experience.
He never acted weird afterward for any second, beyond simple giggles every time he saw you as he had in his mind the image of you so surrendered to him letting yourself be touched. However, other than that, Chan still behaved as normal, the small details for you were the hickeys you suddenly had to cover up, but he even became more attached to you, confusing you so much as you were starting to see a side of him that you had never felt or shown interest in knowing about anyone else. The project was a stressful success, Chan had it all, he was smart and attentive so for once in your life you didn't carry absolutely all the weight of academic work. After that day he sat near you every day, just talked and talked, went to lunch with you, and was so cute being genuinely interested in you in general.
Unlike him you had no other activity outside of college, he kept busy during the day, but being with a little more confidence towards you since that night, Chan was really managing to be able to make time off and see you off campus without it being too late, he would endeavor to sit and eat with you, ask you where you were and if he could take you to your apartment, where you invited him in and stayed for a while exclusively talking, in a slightly so tense atmosphere as the tension of both of you was so tangible; and so it went for the rest of the week. His closeness was so evident as he was not someone who went unnoticed around the university and you knew that there were already countless rumors that for Chan to be around you, so strangely behind you was because somehow you had already had sex or Chan was waiting to have it with you soon. Chan knew it too, the silly and immature rumors he didn't care unless he saw that they were bothering you, that's when he would act and stop everything… until then, the rumors weren't that bad, at least he thought so, he thought they were ridiculous and didn't care about them since at the end of the day he was with you.
On the other hand, your small circle of friends was severely puzzled as to what was going on between you and Chan, although not even you knew it clearly because you were really starting to like him, he was so cute and showed a genuine interest in you that it suddenly drove you crazy. You couldn't confess to them that you were considering him seriously, in such a short time.
It didn't bother you, your dirty little secret was that you enjoyed a wonderful night with Chan, so the little rumors made you a little proud as you had never experienced such a thing.
But you seriously liked Chan, he was so cute with you and a part of you didn't want him to only want you for sex, as you recognized he had a reputation, but you wanted to ignore it at all costs, you didn't want to be able to believe that all his kindness and attention was only focused on having sex afterwards, as all the rumors claimed, you had no idea how crazy you had Chan at your disposal and power.
And once again, Chan walked out of class with you, on a Friday, he looked so cute following you with a smile, just showing that he was so happy and comfortable to be with you. You both walked around the campus comfortably until he suddenly blurts out:
“Mmm what are you doing today?”
He was so busy, but he would always make sure to make room for you, he really wanted to ask you out, he wanted you to hang out with him seriously, but he was suddenly so shy at the also new sensations for him, he had never liked someone of that magnitude, so purely that sometimes it came to scare him.
You looked into his eyes, his slitted, shining dark eyes, waiting for an answer. You were so confused, you wanted him all of a sudden, just for you, but you were so afraid of interpreting things and that at the end of the day… he only wanted you for pleasure. Sadly, just today you were going to see some friends, but you had already spent the rest of the week together, Chan seemed to just want to be with you.
“Mmm, I'll see some friends.”
You saw his excited expression soften a little, somewhat disappointed.
“Oh, I see. Can we meet tomorrow?”
You smiled at him, analyzing every detail of his face, suddenly questioning all the typical questions a delusional woman at that precise moment could ask herself, wondering if all the little moments you saw each other and spent together he counted as a date or if he ever really asked you out more formally, you honestly had no idea how that dating system worked, so you needed a little help from your friends as soon as possible, you were losing your breath just at the sight of him...
You were about to happily answer him a yes, glad to hear what his proposal would be to spend time together, but a boy interrupted you, walked around to meet Chan and squeezed him amicably by the shoulder.
“Hey, dude, see you tomorrow, don't skip, okay?” the boy said to Chan with a smile, pointing at him amicably and just walking away.
The both of you were surprised by his sudden action and appearance and watched the muscular boy walk away. You decided to play a little.
“I guess you already had plans tomorrow.”
“They don't matter. I can cancel anything to see you” he quickly replied, making it look slightly intense, causing you to get a heat in your cheeks, quickly understanding what he meant.
Since when had you become so important to him?
You both paused for a few moments to get a better look at each other. His answer was so obvious but you still had your doubts.
You blinked in puzzlement, still with your cheeks red, which Chan found adorable and realized the tone his earlier comment may have sounded in, embarrassing him and turning his ears red, he was crazy about you, he needed you, he wanted to be with you and do all the sweet cheesy things, at the same time he wanted to balance it with the most amazing sex.
“What were your plans?” you asked again, still embarrassed and without thinking, averting the subject and your eyes from his gaze.
“Ah it's nothing, a party at a club for one of the frat boys' birthday.”
You nodded, listening to him intently, as he mentioned it with such disinterest. Chan knew that a party was not your ideal environment and place, so he simply deflected that kind of event from you and wanted to do more kinds of things that would come in your mood.
You again appreciated the details of his face and suddenly thought of all the things you did that were related to you… but you didn't do things that were more like him, so without thinking once more you said, looking him in the eye:
“You should go.”
Once again Chan's face showed disappointment, but that wasn't where you wanted to go.
“You want me to go…?”
“We can go together” you added suddenly, wanting to wipe the disappointment off his pretty face.
He was shocked by your decision, it wasn't that he didn't want to invite you, he just never considered that it would be something you wanted to do. Chan wasn't a party guy either, but he had to do it for the sake of the fraternity and for hanging out with his friends, giving him the reputation of a famous guy who liked to party.
“Ah, sure, I'd love to” he smiled at you, “I didn't suggest it because I didn't think you'd want to go…”
You smiled back, feeling proud to turn the tables a little. It was a party, nothing out of this world, you didn't attend many regularly but you were slightly familiar, at least with the context and image of what it could be like, since honestly, you hadn't attended one ever and you felt a bit pathetic and nerdy every time you were with Chan, someone so knowledgeable and wonderful in all areas, you wanted to try new things, him and his little world.
“I want to go” you replied confidently and suddenly fell into embarrassment, “Oh I'm sorry, can I go?”
Chan licked his lips happily, somewhat strangely at your sudden enthusiasm for attending a college party, but genuinely happy. He didn't want to stay with the image of a partying college boy and part of a fraternity all his life, he wanted to be someone serious, he wanted you to take him seriously and see him with eyes that he was just a guy studying physics who liked a girl in his class and both of them could come up with a lot of things.
“Sure you can” he looked at you tenderly ”Well, then how about if I pick you up tomorrow at 9?”
You nodded, your heart racing, not knowing where your boldness and bravery had come from so suddenly. Chan was impressed too but he liked you and just hoped you wouldn't be so disappointed, he recognized that college parties you could take as unusual, weird and boring. And it was true, they had never caught your attention, until Chan lightly involved you in them.
You didn't know what to expect, but you were slightly excited. And once again, Chan made sure to walk you to the place where you would meet your friend, raising glances from her and when you told her that you would go out with him for a party tomorrow she called you crazy, in a good way, and convinced you to buy a nice dress.
[…]
You were nervous, as much as Chan was about taking you to his side, not as something official, but certainly taking such a big step, making everyone assume that you are that plus one to take everywhere, he wanted you like that, always close, his little crush was bearing more and more fruit and was even developing so many true and genuine feelings for you, he felt ridiculous, falling in love at his age… he was not a faithful believer of love until he met you, he wanted to be with you, to take care of you and dedicate his days to you.
All day long you were texting until the real moment came when he knocked on your door.
Your best friend gave you instructions and advice on what to drink, what to wear and what was the right makeup for such a night. Then you opened the door, leaving Chris engrossed, caught up in your perfume and as if he was in a movie, all in slow motion, in the typical scene where the guy recognizes that she's the girl and suddenly sees her ten times more attractive, that was partly the case, he always found you so attractive, both inside and out, but today, you looked in a way that even in his deepest fantasy he couldn't have imagined, in a tight black dress, without your glasses, your pretty eyes highlighted in shimmering makeup eyeshadow, your eyelashes long and curly, a blush that looked perfect on you and glossy lipstick on your lips that Chan suddenly wanted to kiss so badly.
Needless to say, you stole his breath away.
“You look beautiful” he mentioned.
Your cheeks naturally started to turn red. He wasn't far behind, he was so handsome, with his outfit, black shirt and pants with a cool design, his short brushed hair and a long chain decorating his neck and falling down his chest.
“You look good too” you could say.
Chan chuckled. And proposed walking out to his car where he opened the door for you. He had his own car, but that first time the two of you met, he was so nervous that he walked to the coffee shop to see you. But now he controlled his nerves, but he didn't know exactly how to react or what to do to have you in intimacy again, not that he always idealized that, but it was a recurring thought in his head every time he thought of you, he thought of you and everything he loved about you, but also of that wonderful night when he made you see stars, in your bodies needing each other, he wanted so badly to repeat it, but he didn't want to pressure you as he didn't want you to see him as someone just looking for sex, when he really desired a connection with you.
Chan licked his lips, watching you out of the corner of his eye, he couldn't help it, he wanted you in so many ways, first it was the sweet moment when he cherished every inch of you innocently, now he wanted to worship every inch of you so dirty, he wanted to possess you right there now, suddenly his clothes were so tight, just like your dress, he was lost and he would give it all just to touch you again, caress your thigh on the way, kiss you, but he had decided to be so cute with you and set all those limits until you spoke up, confirming to him what you wanted, if you wanted a relationship where you were just friends for pleasure, it would be painful for him, he would involve feelings, but he would be fine with that, but you were so shy and just pretended nothing had happened that night.
Chan cleared his throat, at the same time he had so many questions for you.
“Mmm, you brought your ID, didn't you?” he spoke to break the silence.
You nodded. You were ready but as you got closer to your destination you regretted it more and more, but it was worth it to be close to Chan.
“Are you sure you want to go? Any time you want to leave we can do it” he spoke again, slightly concerned.
You looked at him. Chan stopped the car at a red light. You recognized once again how handsome he looked, his strong arms on the steering wheel, all of him, you wanted to feel his lips again.
“I'll be fine. You think I'm a spoilsport?”
Chan laughed, looking you straight in the eye.
“It's not that… it's just that,” he decided to be honest, “I never thought a club would be your kind of fun.”
You examined his face, flooding you with the ideas that he had you in a concept of an innocent studious girl, it was true, you didn't go to parties much and stayed in your apartment studying or just locked up watching some movie, but that Chan had you in that concept somehow caused you insecurity, you wanted to be for him everything he was looking for and you were so inexperienced with men that you didn't know clearly what it was he wanted. Whether the boring little version of you, or someone more outgoing that he might consider taking with his friends.
“It's not,” you confessed, “But a little party never hurt someone.”
Chan smiled and the green light illuminated his face. It wasn't a small party, it was a crowded club and his friend would be celebrating his birthday in a small VIP area. He just hoped you were ready.
And when you arrived everything was fine. Chan grabbed you by the waist, going straight to the security guy and showing some kind of card and let him in without waiting in line. You blinked in bewilderment, as the man didn't question anything at all and without realizing it, you were slowly making your way into the place. It was dark, smelled of air freshener and cigarettes and as you entered the music got louder, like Chan's grip on you.
You were inside, the lights illuminated both of you. For a second you forgot to recharge your social battery, but you would be fine, you convinced yourself, you would drink and at the end of the night you hoped to at least return to kiss Chan and you would have the silly excuse that the situation warranted it.
“Let's go to the VIP” Chan shouted in your ear, which didn't sound like a shout, it sounded normal because of the volume of the music.
You tried to look at him, he looked so relaxed, like it was something he did often. You didn't know what he was talking about but you held your bag tighter and he kept holding you tightly by the waist and walking along with you, passing between groups of people, Chan was making sure you didn't bump into anyone, that no one touched or brushed against you, his face was so focused, almost as if it was his job, like a bodyguard, putting you more in a strange mood, liking him even more.
You noticed Chan stopped and changed the direction of his steps when he saw someone, you both walked up a few stairs and met a group of people away from the main dance floor.
Chan approached to a slim blond guy, with a drink in his hand and enjoying the loud music, Chan questioned him something inaudible to you, to which he responded with an exaggerated gesture with his arms, as if indicating that everyone was there. Chan looked around, while you felt lost, almost like a fish out of water, so exposed on a surface that wasn't yours, you didn't want to go home, but you just wanted to relax, stop tensing up and enjoy the moment.
“Well, everyone's here” Chan spoke loudly in your ear again. You nodded, “It's Minho's party, another frat boy, Changbin dragged him here, but he's fun. I live with three other guys, I never told you before? Don't think it's twenty guys locked up in a house.”
You laughed, you were so focused on listening to him and he would suddenly come out with his comments.
“I'll introduce you to them” he said again.
Moments later Chan introduced you to each of his friends, seven in total, the others just made comments on the air with their names. Chan was a gentleman but he never introduced a girl to his friends, not in such a formal way and between giggles showing his nervousness.
You tried to adjust and before you knew it you were comfortably engaged in a conversation with Hyunjin, Chan's friend and roommate. Then he showed up, somewhat jealous that you wouldn't stop talking to Hyunjin, but happy that you were getting along so well with someone close to him and adjusting to what can be an overwhelming environment, Chan asked you if you wanted something to drink to which you nodded saying whatever was fine, then you remembered about not trusting drinks to men, but it was Chan, you trusted him blindly. Chan wanted to spare you the fatigue of going through people to get a drink so he offered to bring it to you, plus you were comfortably seated, away from Hyunjin, but talking to him.
Within minutes of Chan leaving as he was confident you were fine with his close friend, Hyunjin left with regret as a girl called him on the phone and he claimed she had just arrived and he would go get her, he apologized and left, leaving you sitting and feeling strange. Half of Chan's friends were lost on the dance floor, you suddenly felt stranded, you were about to stand up, but you felt someone sit near you which you thought for a microsecond it would be Chan but your expression and excitement changed as you realized it was a stranger, boldly looking at your cleavage.
“College girl, right? A lot of college students tend to come here often, but someone like you I've never seen before…. I'm Changwook, by the way.”
You sketched an awkward smile, you felt him unnecessarily close to you. You saw him, he looked older, he wasn't ugly, but his strange behavior completely displeased you. You didn't know what to say, you had nothing else to say but to get out of the situation.
“Are you here by yourself? Or are any of your friends around? And you're not drinking, honey, I'll buy you drinks, it would be a pl--”
“Excuse me.”
It was what you both could hear over the loud music, the voice was so familiar to you, it came out in such a loud and demanding tone, feeling so suddenly the presence of someone right in front of you. You felt so relieved to see Chan, just when you needed him. He was carrying a drink for the ones he went for but left it on the small table in front of the elongated couch you were sitting on. Chan could see your discomfort and your relief reflected on your face at the sight of him. The unknown boy just smirked at you and ignored you completely, despite noticing the obvious and obvious pout Chan was making at him.
“Well, what drink would you like to try, cutie?” he leaned close to your ear for you to hear, his thigh brushing against yours, you were uncomfortable.
Chan warmed his body furiously.
For some reason you were motionless, not knowing what exactly to do, you didn't want to be a girl in distress and helpless but it was all so new and sudden, the atmosphere of a club, a strange and dischargeable guy approaching you without leaving you space and seeing you dirty….
“Didn't you fucking hear me? Get away from her.”
This time Chan repeated more annoyed seeing his attitude and that he had completely ignored him, plus he couldn't tolerate seeing you like that. The man looked up in annoyance and Chan gently took your arm so you could stand up, you took his hand and approached him almost like a helpless child in fear, relieved to be able to feel the warmth of his body close and him close in general.
The man was puzzled and understood everything, or at least he thought he did with an incredulous smile.
“Ahh, you were coming with your boyfriend?” he commented and stood up, standing dangerously in front of Chan, you stood behind him, still holding on to his arm and hand, “Why would you leave your cute little girlfriend alone, with a dress like that it's so dangerous…”
Chan wanted them to call you his girlfriend but not coming from some weird guy, he was furious, he clenched his free fist but you noticed the muscles in the left arm you were holding, tense up, his nostrils flared angrily, the man looked so defiant and Chan was already glaring at him, clenching his jaw, unable to believe he was making comments about you and what you were wearing which you are free to do, he was disgusted to even have him around, he wanted to beat him to a pulp. But he decided to calm down, a fight would get him nowhere, but he would really break everything for you.
“Just get lost, man. Leave her alone, she's with me” he mumbled, annoyed and choosing to calm down.
You watched the scene with some uncertainty, you didn't know the guy and you didn't know what he was capable of, and suddenly you didn't know about Chan either as he really looked annoyed and so domineering. It was a bad tension, you'd hate it if they started fighting.
The man saw Chan more defiant, clenching his fist, you saw it and you were scared that at any moment he might hit Chan.
“Alright alright I get it, fine.”
The guy left, annoyed and glaring at both of you, you could breathe easy, Chan fixedly watched him walk away until he was lost in the crowd, waiting for small seconds when something unexpected will happen again, when he lost sight of him and he felt inside that the area was clear and free of him, he abruptly turned to you, taking you by the face and seeing you so concerned, softening his eyebrows and looking at you as if you were the most fragile creature in the world and spoke to you softly in contrast to his annoyed tone and tense body just seconds ago.
“Are you all right? What did he do to you? Why were you alone? Hyunjin left you? That damn motherf…"
You saw him slightly upset as he filled you with comments and by his heavy but tender gaze on you, he looked so worried about you.
“I'm fine, really, he didn't do anything to me-”
“But he was a mother fucking creep. Where's Hyunjin? Sorry sorry for leaving you, I should never have done that, do you want to go home now? Do you want me to take you?”
He was still talking so worried that now you felt tender. His face was close to yours and you stared into his bright eyes amidst the darkness of the place.
“I'm fine, it wasn't Hyunjin's responsibility to take care of me anyway-”
“You're right” he interrupted you again, ”I should have been there, I never meant to leave you. Shall we go home?”
You smiled softly at him, enjoying his hand on your face and how serious he sounded about it.
“Mmm, we just got here, don't let this bad timing ruin everything, yeah?”
Chan smiled at your response. He couldn't let something happen to you because of something he felt was dragging you down. He nodded, beginning to believe you were liking being there at least a little.
“What drink did you bring?” you deflected the subject.
Chan slowly let go of you making you blush since you were so close immersed in your bubble.
“Mmm want to taste it?” he commented, picking up the drink again to hand it to you.
“Just one?” you said amused.
“You can only have one today” he replied playing along.
“What about yours?”
“I won't drink, doll, I'm driving and I have to get you home safely.”
You nodded once again blushing at his comment as you took a sip of the drink, it was sweet, but you couldn't deny that the bitter taste of alcohol was there. There were so many things about Chan that could surprise you, like the fact that he hardly ever drank, that he hardly ever attended parties but maintained a complete opposite image somehow.
After the bad moment, once again Chan approached his friends who were in an area of the dance floor on the borders, Felix and Hyunjin were having fun while the rest were there and others were lost somewhere else. It was a public space evidently and the stares were so common, but for some reason you felt them ten times heavier than in other places and it was inevitable, you were glowing and Chan could also tell how many eyes were focused on you.
But 5 drinks later you were starting to see the fun and join the dance along with Felix, you had such a short tolerance for alcohol, you didn't try it regularly, you were losing control and getting drunk. Chan assigned Han to bring you drinks in order not to leave you alone even for a second, Chan authorized your second drink but discreetly after the second one you kept telling him if he could bring you another one, and another and another one. You tried different drinks which was not the best idea, in combination with the strong lights on your face, making you even more dizzy.
Chan was looking at you funny from afar, watching you having a good time with Felix and Han as he was a bit shy to join the dance floor, but suddenly, his tender look changed completely when he saw a complete stranger approaching you again, slyly wanting to dance with you, sticking to your body, you were already slightly confused enough that you thought the guy was just another friend of Chan, but Chan acted fast and didn't let him get close to you at all, or rather, touch you.
Chan wasn't the kind of guy who blamed the way you dressed… but it was inevitable to deny that your short and tight dress with that cleavage could arouse something in more people and he hated it, he was jealous that more people were seeing you, that some are doing it with such a dirty look, lusting after you.
“Chaaan” you said animatedly, obviously a little drunk, with the alcohol having more and more effect on you.
Seeing Chan under the dizziness brought on by the alcohol was like a dream, as if he only existed, you were liking it strangely.
He noticed your condition, he thought for a second that you looked so cute, so free and loose, with an expression of happiness on your face that he hadn't seen before… but he knew exactly that it was because you were under the effects of alcohol.
You stood in front of him, trying to dance, not reasoning exactly what you were doing, just standing there, feeling somehow pleasantly light-headed, something you had never felt before.
“I think someone's had too much to drink already. How much have you had to drink? We should go home” he mentioned seriously.
One of the reasons he was serious was that he found no amusement when you were being devoured by the gaze of more men.
“What, you're not going to dance? Why don't you teach me how to do it?”
You pouted, Chan was just standing somewhat stiffly in the middle of the dance floor. He shook his head softly.
“You still don't want to go home?” he said.
You had no notion of time. You didn't answer, when another guy didn't respect that you were together, heading towards you.
“Hey, cutie, can I get your insta?”
Chan opened his wide, confused by the situation. You looked at the guy without knowing who he was or understanding what he said, but Chan stepped forward to say.
“No, she can't, she's with me, go away.”
Chan didn't know what to say, he was so upset for the moment with his heart racing from so many emotions in a short time because of you.
The guy left and you smiled at Chan, laughing softly as if you had been told a joke, this time hugging him and raising your eyes to see him, in such a perfect position to kiss him, the reality was you were losing your balance and wanted to hold on to something, but somehow he was surprised by your act and swallowed nervously, acting as shy as if you had never touched each other before, however, he wrapped his arms around your waist and let them rest on your lower back, pulling you closer to him.
“You keep saying that…” you began to slur your words.
“What?” he said softly, lost in you, aware that you might not have heard him.
“She's with me” you mimicked his serious tone, in a playful way, ”Am I with you, Chan…? Why haven't you made it clear to me all week? You haven't kissed me again, don't you want to?”
He looked at you puzzled, thinking that just now you must be too drunk to start saying such things, but at the same time, he was aware of your honesty. Chan questioned feeling pathetic if you waited all those days for him to make the first move.
“Y/n…” he was about to come clean with you, even though you were drunk, but you interrupted him.
The magical moment existed only for him.
“Aren't you going to dance? Dance with me or I'll dance with Felix.”
Chan felt stupidly in love and took care of you, you started to dance tenderly and he let himself go.
After minutes, an amused Felix approached his friend to say:
“She asked me how to make a boy jealous.”
You heard him and blushed, remembering that you had told him that when you were still sober and wanted to make Chan jealous so he would approach you on the dance floor and not leave you alone. Besides you wanted to see him upset again, since you thought his expression was so fucking hot a few moments ago, you had to admit it.
“Felix” you reproached him.
The blond walked away laughing, only provoking you both.
“So you want to make someone jealous, huh?” Chan said in a harsh voice close to your ear as he held you by the waist.
Your little moment of alcohol fun was gone, now it was a different kind of fun as you were sobering up, the memory of you dancing so Chan could approach you was humiliating that lowered your drunkenness, but somehow the plan worked as a guy approached you and he came to you almost running.
“Who did you want to make jealous, huh babygirl?”
You didn't respond, you were paralyzed at his touch, shyness taking over you again. Chan's ego grew knowing you wanted to come up with something to make him jealous.
“I'll show you” he said speaking seductively, “You have to show the other guy that he must come to claim what is his, so you will provoke him, being so loose and feeling yourself, like you don't care about anything else and letting yourself go” Chan turned your body with ease, “And dance like the other person doesn't exist, do it, tease them both and win.”
Now you couldn't move, you were processing the alcohol leaving your system and having Chan in such a sexy way.
“Dance” he ordered softly.
You tried to move, he grabbed your waist again and pressed you to your body, you could feel the rubbing of both bodies, little by little you let yourself go until you ground such a strategic area on him and making him aroused.
Chan couldn't take it anymore, your adjusted ass in that dress, rubbing on his cock… he didn't know at what point he achieved that, but he just knew he was fucking turned on right now. You noticed his bulge, bit your lip and turned abruptly to see him with a twinge of arousal in your pussy, you both had enough of the party now, it was time to take the fun somewhere else more private.
“Chan. Can we. Leave?” you spoke, shyly watching him with wide eyes.
He nodded in relief as his erection was only growing.
Chan awkwardly said goodbye to his friends, trying to hide his erection and finally you both walked to his car, which you got into and Chan started off not knowing exactly where to go, but he did know he needed you just now, taking care of him because his cock was hurting more and more and your apartment was farther away than his home…
You too were with an excitement growing in your body, but you didn't know how to communicate it.
Chan didn't resist and acted:
“Mmm well, there's no one at my place, all the guys are still at the club, do you want to go?”
He was desperate and his house was only 8 minutes away from the club. And he could also easily tell how much you wanted him too.
You nodded nervously, waiting for him to touch you again and slyly saw his big bulge. You almost sighed, thinking how much you wanted to sit on him again and move on it.
You tried to bring up a gentle topic of conversation, making both of you hold out all the way to his house and not let him touch you right there in the car. You asked little questions about which of his friends was the most likely to leave the club early but your voice only made Chan's poor swollen cock twitch and cry, his poor tip weeping drops of precum living off the fantasy of being able to have you again.
You were wet, it was enough for you to watch his handsome figure drive, his big hands squeeze the steering wheel, you were both to some extent comically aroused, filling the car with sighs and frustration until you finally reached your destination.
You knew Chan was excited, but you found it so hard to make the first bold and daring move that you only limited yourself to saying once you were inside and surveyed the place:
“Wow, it looks pretty neat for a boys-only house.”
Chan laughed. With his cock hard, amazed that you were back to being the same tender, shy girl, pretending he didn't have a big bulge between his pants that only indicated one thing.
“Mmm, and my room is even tidier, let's go see it.”
He unexpectedly took you by the hand, leading you up the stairs and into his room. You were stunned and excited, you knew exactly what was in store for you.
His whole room was in perfect order, it smelled nice and you suddenly felt your body warm knowing you were now in his space.
“Nice” you said.
Chan looked at you for a few seconds, an incredulous smile on his face. You were still there, excited but not coming any closer.
“You need to stop being so shy” he confessed, stepping in front of you, finally taking the initiative, “And start telling me exactly what you're thinking about. Do you want this?”
He grabbed your waist, pulling your body closer to his, feeling his erection against you. You nodded and your innocence only succeeded in making him harder. He began to caress your ass and your whole body sensually.
“And why don't you say it?” he spoke again.
You bit your lip, thinking about the right words, you were only thinking about how much you would want him to fuck you, but saying it so explicitly wasn't your thing, not even telling someone you want them to fuck you.
“Chan… you can, you know…”
He laughed softly, leaning down to take your lips sweetly, enjoying and savoring since he hadn't kissed you in long days, because he'd wanted to for a long time in every way possible. You closed your eyes, pleasantly surprised and lost in him.
“You know…” he spoke close to your lips, his nose brushing against yours, “It's not just about sex, I really want to take you on dates and get to know you if you'll let me.”
You were entranced in him. Unable to process any information very well, other than his name in your head over and over again.
“Okay” you whispered and he caught your lips again, “Let's go out…” you whispered.
The truth was you couldn't have been more excited by his comment. It was everything you wanted to hear and everything you wanted to do about to happen, he had it all.
Chan grabbed your face, glad to be on the same page and this time the kiss was getting more passionate and desperate, suddenly he had left maturity behind and being a young and horny mess, thinking about how much he wanted to satisfy his cock already. He began to touch you, thrusting his tongue into your mouth, teasing you slightly hard against your lips. His naughty fingers went all the way to your center, eager to feel you, to know you were feeling what he was feeling.
It was more than obvious, your little panties were wet with just the manly presence of Bang Chan, to know what he was capable of and how he could treat you, you were with your heart racing and your mind working quickly in all the dirty and delicious scenarios, both of you needed each other already in desperation.
Chan almost moaned between kisses as he slipped his hand under your dress and pulled the fabric of your pussy aside and felt the softness of your womanhood, so docile and manipulable in his fingers, your sensitive, throbbing clit ready for his touch, your snug labia in your folds, Chan fantasized so much about you, about the feel of his cock buried in your core, of your mouth on his shaft, of the ways he wanted to settle your body into sex, everything, but right now he was so needy that he even wanted to act like a hormonal college boy who would only seek his own pleasure by sticking his cock in you, but no, he wasn't like that.
His long finger found the perfect way to stimulate your clit by pressing it and gently circling it while the rest of his fingers slowly lost themselves in your folds. You were about to lose your balance as you were extremely sensitive down there, eager for attention. Chan lowered his kisses to your neck inhaling your scent, hypnotized on your skin, he couldn't take any more, he was so stimulated with his cock throbbing in desperation.
“Fuck, baby, are you ready now? I need to fuck you now” he whispered almost babbling into your neck in an indescribable tone of voice, he was so excited that his deep voice made you shudder.
Chan sought your entrance, gently inserting his finger to check exactly what he needed, that you were wet, ready to take his cock at last. You moaned, his finger was teasing shallowly inside you, spreading your fluid, you got nervous again, you wanted to enjoy it and do it right for Chan, there were so many things you had to be the best at without having any experience, you hated not being the best at everything.
He noticed your tense body and worried expression.
“It's okay baby, relax, I'll make you feel good.”
You looked into his eyes, this time with two fingers inside you, deep and exploring your insides, you moaned in pleasure and pain, it was such a new and delightful surprise, and you wanted to let go of the fact that you were obviously so inexperienced. Chan felt his fingers being squeezed inside you, driving him crazy with the idea of how his hard cock was going to feel in you.
“Oh fuck, do you want me to do it now or do you want me to eat you again, baby girl?”
His indirectly direct questions shocked your excited, needy, inexperienced body as if he wasn't fucking you with his fingers just now. You lowered your gaze to his pants, thinking of all the time he may have had to hold back, thinking of how intimidatingly big and appetizing he looked, thinking of the sensation of feeling full.
“Do it, Chan, please, I need it.”
His fingers worked magically on you, but fantasizing about the idea of feeling even fuller wouldn't leave your head.
Chan smiled haughtily and began unbuttoning his pants desperately with his free hand.
“Pull them down, princess” he ordered you, pointing his head down.
You saw him and then at his open pants, your pussy throbbed again and you quickly obeyed him, exposing his vulnerable hard cock.
“Mm baby, touch it, feel how hard I am for you” Chan teased you.
He saw your slightly shocked expression at the sight of his erect member and you tentatively took his cock in your hands, not sure what to do but out of curiosity and desire you felt every inch of him, confirming his stiffness, feeling a boy's cock for the first time.
You began to masturbate him, running your hands over the thin, rigid skin of his penis, pushing Chan to the limit. He couldn't take it anymore, he would either fuck you or cum in your hand, it was time to act.
Chan removed his fingers from you, he deftly and easily turned you around, slowly pulling your panties down, he was so eager and ready to do it, to fuck you and have you all to himself.
You trembled softly in nervousness sure of what awaited you, not sure of the new sensation, but you were desperate in pleasure, you needed him, filling you, you wanted him for completeness in you. Chan hurried, quickly taking a condom from his nightstand right off his bed, putting it on with agility, as you witnessed the latex slipping down his length, awakening in you more impatience and a great sexual desire, finally he returned to you.
You looked at yourself in the full length mirror in front of, your panties down, your expression with ruddy cheeks, waiting for him to approach.
“Are you okay here, baby? Or do you want to do it on the bed… because honestly I want to fuck you while I see your pretty face in the mirror, huh” Chan said in a deep voice, standing behind you and holding your cheeks tightly with his hand.
You watched him from the mirror, his position behind you… he looked so fucking good, thinking you wanted to witness him too.
“It's okay like that, Ch-chan.”
“Good girl” he gasped, unable to resist any longer.
Chan lifted your dress, exposing your ass, massaged it, admiring it for a moment and then placed his hand on your lower back gently pushing you, indicating you to bend over a little, Chan held you by your belly with his left hand while with his right he took his cock, lining it up with your entrance and slowly inserting it, making him suck air between his teeth and moan audibly in relief, you squealed, resenting the incredible and timely change in your anatomy, of his cock sliding inside you and settling into your walls, you were going crazy with every inch he entered at the same time Chan was losing his mind at the sensation of your tightness.
Chan watched the erotic act of your entrance open up for his cock, then saw your sweet expression in his mirror as he babbled softly, “There you go, there you go, baby girl, gooood girl, it's almost all in, god you're taking it so well, you feel so good, fuck, please.”
You both whimpered as he was already deep in you, filling you up, pounding your cervix, but the fun was just beginning, Chan took you by the hips and started to penetrate you slowly and deeply to get you used to his size, then he stretched your body, to stick your back to his chest and started to ram you quickly, crashing against your skin, lost with the feeling of his cock in your walls, your moans and the expression of disaster on your face, so flustered.
Chan continued to pound your pussy until he was breathless, the sensation for both of you was magical, both of you suddenly seeing stars as he kept babbling things in your ear. He loved every second of your face being fucked hard, Chan wanted to have the image of you etched in his mind forever. And your dress suddenly became tighter, you were exasperated by the moment, looking for a release, looking for that culmination of your pleasure that was taking over every inch of you.
You dared to look at yourself in his mirror, Chan was so focused on making you feel good, collapsing his skin with yours, filling every corner of you until you were delightfully sore. He looked so good in that position, you thought, taking you and fucking you hard, both bodies struggling between moans and gasps, culminating in orgasm. You felt a huge knot in your stomach and an uncontrollable tide of emotions at the same time.
You were deliciously wrecked, tired and Chan sweetly offered to let you sleep right after the act. He was happy to finally make the move.
𐙚TAGLIST: @rylea08 @hann1bee @iovecb97 @armystay89 @cherricola-star @lolareadsimagines @jisuperboard @lilac13 @ayyonoona @do-you-remember-summer-127 @wildtokay @korthbum @hyune-ssne @khandzilla
#bang chan#bangchan#bang chan smut#chan smut#stray kids#skz#stray kids smut#skz smut#bang chan x reader#bangchan smut#bang chan x you#chan x reader#chan x you#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#skz scenarios#skz x reader#skz x you#skz fic#𐙚wen writes♡₊˚⊹
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I KNOW, MY EYES ALREADY LOVE YOU ── KENJI SATO
── summary: What could be Kenji Sato's certainty and weakness?
── content warnings: F!reader, 18+, nsfw, morning sex, unprotected, riding, playing w/ nipples, dirty talk, praise, petnames, kenji being a fucking tease, explicit words, explicit content.
── word count: 1.798!
Kenji did not know, or did he understand, some certainties about his life, and, perhaps, it could sound like imprudence, the purest act of negligence he had the opportunity to tolerate; in fact, it was obvious. — He believed in this line of consciousness, attempted reasoning.
He declared that he made mistakes, countless mistakes, and, currently, he still thinks about the hypothesis that he could make them to this day; even though he wanted to, and tried, as much as possible, not to reveal what he believed to the cameras, journalists and specific people around him. — Sato wouldn't stand it, he knew that.
However, resonating with a merciless and sweet irony, seeming such a surprising incongruity, Kenji was, he knew, certain about one thing in his existence, something that he would not dare lie, deceive himself or dissemble; he imagined he might die if he did that. — His chest burned, sharply, just thinking about it.
You were one of Sato's weaknesses; in his view, the only one. — At the same time, it was his strength; knowing that, you can destabilize him, with ease and incomplexity, conceiving a change in his concentration and everything around, just by directing your eyes against his would be able to be seen as ridiculous and playing a vulnerable side and stealing his attention was peculiar. — Something incredibly curious.
But in Sato's eyes, it was a form, way of how to worship you; being able to feel a passion, intensely, disoriented and burning in his heart. — Admitting something so angelic and serene. — Not hiding the fact that you were his refuge, a place where he felt safe and loved and knew that it would protect him at all costs in his life; experiencing being worthy of you.
And every morning, every second and minute of it, at dawn next to you, with his body entwined with yours, Kenji thought about it.
"A kiss for your thoughts?" — A sleepy, so sweet voice exclaims in the boy's ears, spontaneously bringing a cunning smile to his lips; Kenji loved your humor, even during the early morning. — "What do you think?" — Even with the huge cuts in the windows, showing weak and soft bands of light, you refused to open your eyes at that moment, yawning.
"That's a very good proposal, should i accept it?" — He asked, looking down at your leg, which was in the region of his hips, and felt, deliciously, you pressing yourself against him; Sato's smile grew even wider due to the fact that you only had the blanket stuck to your bodies. — "Good morning to you too, kitten."
He considered some sleepy, boring mumbles and grunts that came out of your mouth as a response, and found it adorable; bringing his lips to your forehead, kissing it, while stroking your hair. — Taking care of his girl with delicacy and gentleness. — And more melodic hums were made by you.
You couldn't stop that familiar and delightful tingling between your legs, and soon you was clumsily rubbing yourself against Kenji's hips, — who didn't fail to find your morning boner fascinating and hungry — without a hint of shame.
"I see someone…" — A sensual laugh vibrated in your temple. — "…woke up very well." — He added, feeling a lump in his throat, unable to contain his shaky breath. — "No?" — Your hand snaked over Kenji's athletic chest, a line of coldness crossed his skin, caused by the ring you had on your finger; your engagement ring.
Not knowing how to resist, and never could, your movements, the painful, throbbing sensation began to burn, sharply, Kenji's dick, showing the large bulge developed in the blanket; he was already starting to feel needier than usual, wanting to fit his face into your neck and dive into your pussy.
Just thinking about being inside you makes Sato's breathing become a panting mess, not wanting or admitting to waste another second.
"I always wake up right next to you, Kenji." — You replied, lifting your head, directing your lips to the eldest's shoulder, trailing kisses across his skin; showing affection. — "Always." — The little kisses went up to his collarbone, your warm hands remained on his chest.
During the small movement between the sheets, caused by you, part of your boobs were exposed and shivering as they hit Kenji's skin; he didn't wait and anxiously felt the beak of one of them, squeezing it with a certain and frank force. — Drawing a sigh from you and making the player bite his lip, like prey. — The damn man liked doing that.
Sato was, indisputably, diabolical, the most arrogant and delighting provocation to ever stand before you.
“Come here, come.” — He asked in a whisper, cunning and with eyes clouded with desire, looking at every point of your face and eyes, running his tongue over his lips, leaving them wet and, faintly, shiny; waiting to be responded to, which didn't take long. — "Pretty girl."
Yours lips, eagerly, came together in a sinful, appetizing and wet kiss; Kenji's sharp tongue rubbed and caressed your, wanting to taste your mouth, as if it were the first time. — Sometimes causing a shock of contact between your teeth and his, nothing could stop you. — Moans, coming from you, delighting in his mouth, were muffled and made Sato smile bewildered.
Kenji felt, even so apprehensive and focused on your mouth, his body being touched, covered by your hands, and, lightly, your nails scraped his skin, desperate to touch him. — He couldn't help but find it cute and naive the way your hand moved to the back of his neck, shocking your bodies even more. — Feeling himself throbbing more and more.
You would be the death of Kenji Sato. — That was another certainty that covered his mind.
Moaning during the mediocre fraction of a second in which your lips disconnected, feeling an emptiness, you came across thin and fragile strands of spit slowly breaking and you vibrated when you heard Sato's smug laugh; his eyes surrounded your mouth, wanting it again. — He smiled, forming a pretentious and ambitious expression as he brought his thumb to your chin, holding it.
"Ride me like a good girl," — Sato clicks his tongue, incoherent. — "my good girl." — Aa words, referring with a hint of possessiveness and premise, made your pussy throb with exultation. — "Please, huh?" — Your lover pouted, almost sounding mocking but not hiding the need he burned for you.
He didn't need to say it twice, he knew there would be no need, even though he saw some clouds of pleasure, leaving you completely at the mercy of the excitement, leaving you beautiful head. — And, also, it wasn't long before your legs were around Kenji's hips, grabbing them with the limited strength you had; abandoning the silky, white sheet somewhere on the mattress.
Settling down, adjusting his posture on the soft, padded pillow, hoping for a good view, Kenji couldn't help but adore the image before his eyes; you were deliciously mounted on him and comfortable on his lap, in your honored place and feeling deified. — It seemed like an inexplicable, surreal and reprehensible scene, it could be the taste of the paradise they prophesied. — No, you were Sato's own, true and only paradise.
Your body surrendered to him, precise movements, with a moderate, almost weak strength and still clouded with sleep, against the young prodigy's hips, feeling his entire length sink, preciously, into your sticky and hot walls; never getting used to the way you was filled by Kenji, — and, wanting, dirty, at no point to get used to it. — leaving you more stimulated. — When you felt him completely, your lips opened, moaning harmoniously and delightfully, attracting panting sighs in the name of your lover.
And, with your boobs, delicious and juicy boobs, exposed, wide open, which, according to your movements, swayed and shivered in front of Kenji, wanting to devour them with desire and modesty. — And not tolerating losing the delicious vision, he preferred to remain where he was; but, he didn't hesitate in sliding his hand towards one of them and squeezing it, now, tightly.
"Ken..ji." — You moaned, whimpered, moving your hand towards his, which held your nipple, unbearably, sensitive with his calloused fingers. — "Fuck-k!" — You sobbed, threatening to release tears from feeling all that pleasurable pressure in your system; and, feeling the lack of sustenance, with the other hand, you moved across Kenji's chest. — "Ken, Kenji..."
"Is it good, my love?" — He says, removing his hand from your boob and repositioning it on your waist, guiding your movements, noticing your almost exhausted rhythm, poor thing. — "Fucking good, huh?" — He growled when he noticed a sudden tightness in his cock; your pussy choked and sucked him, divinely, well. — "O-oh, look what we have here." — He laughed, digging his short nails into your flesh.
The sharp, thin lamentations and melodic moans vociferated in Sato's ears sounded like masterful music, stirring him with every descent and ascent that you made in his lap; also mentioning the wet, filthy melody that your pussy made while swallowing his cock. — Such a greedy, hungry, desperate little thing for every inch of him.
"Keep it up, kitten." — He swore, quickly guiding your hips and showed a satisfied and happy smile when he saw that you responded to his orders, winking shamelessly in your direction. — "I love filling this pussy, fuck…" — He breathed deeply, shaking with another grip on his dick. — "with my cum in the morning." — Listening to Kenji's filthy words was a sin.
It was blasphemous, unacceptable to be able to tolerate, endure, for so long, all that excitement, — all that infernal provocation coming from your man — and adequately endure the stings that reached, perfectly, your sensitive and delicate spot, which only Kenji knew how to reach. — And he took advantage of that.
With incandescent, burning pleasure replacing all sensations, reactions of your body, finally, that nervous, tingling thread, trapped in your stomach, breaks free; accompanied by a tearful and disoriented scream, crying out for Sato, coming out of your mouth. — Cumming on his cock, having some spasms around it, you feel weak, about to become weak. — Like a pathetic little doll.
"Baby." — Hot, delicious jets of sperm painted your inner walls, taking him to the limit, as always; cumming inside you, Kenji filled you, leaving you satisfied, sated and fulfilled. — Having the impression that, still sitting on his lap, you was leaking yours mixed releases, causing an appetizing mess. — "Holy shit." — Ken moaned softly, smiling bewildered and drunk for you.
Tilting your head to the side, merely acting in a naive and harmless way, still with a look of tiredness and exhaustion, a thin and innocent smile tugged at the corner of your lips; making you even more adorable, captivating.
"Good morning to you too, Ken."
Yeah, in fact, you were Kenji Sato's main weakness.
#kenji sato#ken sato#kenji#kenji sato x reader#ken sato x reader#kenji x reader#kenji sato smut#ken sato smut#kenji smut#ultraman#ultraman rising
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ఌ 𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑
w.c › 16k
warnings › Part 2 for this post. Ye-Jun is insane. This relationship is pure toxicity, pls don’t stay with someone like this in real life lol. Translations/songs I used at the end. Homophobia/talk of revenge porn of a minor at the end (it’s not done by Ye-Jun)
plot › Kim Ye-Jun is back in your life. And he doesn’t seem too keen on leaving you anytime soon. While you get insight on how brutal fame can be
kinks › size difference, hate sex, oral sex, manhandling, marking, biting, choking, dubcon, orgasm denial, dacryphilia, sub/dom undertones
words to know › maknae (막내) — youngest. Hyung (형) — a term a younger male with call an older male. Jagiya/Jagi (자기야) — “sweetie/baby.” Knets — Korean Netizens, Korean people on the internet. Dispatch — a Korean blog, known for exposing kpop idols relationships
ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟮
𝙈𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙚
ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
You had left Ye-Jun that night.
It was nerve wracking to get dressed silently as you watched him like a hawk. Your heart pounding in your chest. You weren’t even sure why you were so fearful. But you managed to leave as quiet as a mouse.
You practically sprinted out of the hotel room as the sun was just rising. Your legs carrying you to the bus before you were driven back to the outskirts of Seoul.
Your feet dragged along the ground as you finally reached your apartment building, wanting to collapse onto your bed for the rest of the day.
“Hyung…!”
You froze, finger pressed against the touch pad. The numbers illuminated as they waited for you to press in the passcode. What?
The time was only 8 am. Dohyun was serious about you not coming over until 10 am. Shit, did they really fuck all night?
Another high pitched moan escaped the apartment as you couldn’t help but smirk. Young-Jae was the youngest out of him and Dohyun. So that meant the one screaming had to be him.
It was funny. Young-Jae the strict top that wouldn’t let you even ask if you could top when you were both fuck buddies. You couldn’t even touch or squeeze his ass. The thought of him bottoming wasn’t anything you even imagined.
Dohyun was more muscular than him. Though Young-Jae was taller and had been growing some muscular these past few months.
You knew not every top had to be tall and muscular. But you couldn’t imagine Dohyun bottoming despite his nicer attitude. But Young-Jae hated the thought of bottoming.
An oddly detailed thought of Dohyun and Young-Jae fighting filled your mind. The idea of them fighting for dominance before Dohyun forced Young-Jae to submit was sexy. You giggled to yourself at the thought before a whine from the apartment interrupted you.
A sane person would’ve just left and come back.
But you weren’t exactly sane.
Besides, everyone in the band has seen each other naked once. You’ve unfortunately seen Won-Shik’s bare ass more times than you count. You would just act shocked and pretend you forgot all about Dohyun’s text from last night.
You typed the passcode onto the touch pad. The familiar hum of the lock twisting before you pushed the door open.
“I’m—!”
Your jaw dropped at what you saw on the couch.
Lee Young-Jae was a strict top. Because he had Park Dohyun bouncing on his cock.
Park Dohyun was the one moaning “Hyung”?! Was that a kink?! An older man calling the younger man “Hyung” during sex seemed so odd but also oddly sexy. You could only stare for a moment, trying to process what you were seeing right in front of you.
It was hot too so you were enjoying the sight of Dohyun’s ass. Shit, it was fat.
“Cho (Name)! Get out!” Young-Jae suddenly yelled, grabbing a couch pillow and throwing it over at you.
You shrieked, managing to dodge. Your eyes went back to Dohyun and Young-Jae. Young-Jae looked mostly smug as he tightened his grip on Dohyun’s waist. Dohyun seemed out of it for the most part, his eyes glossy as he buried his face in Young-Jae’s neck.
“Okay! Okay… I’m leaving. You better be finished by 10 am!!! Dohyun Hyungie promised I can come back by then.. also you better deep clean the house, pervert.”
Young-Jae ignored you, absentmindedly pointing to the front door. You rolled your eyes and left the apartment, slamming the door shut behind you.
You went to the apartment right next door, Dohyun, Yuki, and Won-Shik’s apartment, and punched in the code.
Curses were at the tip of your tongue as you walked inside. You got ready to announce your arrival when you noticed Yuki on the couch. He looked nervous, a shy smile on his lips. Your eyes trailed down and a groan left your throat.
Junho was giving Yuki a hand job.
“All of you are perverts!!! Oh my god!! How can you feel safe to do it on the couch?! Perverts!! I’m going to Won-Shik’s room, because at least he has the decency to rent a hotel room when he wants to fuck someone!!!”
You stormed off to Won-Shik’s room while Junho called your name. Yuki bit his lip as he tried hold in his laugh. The door slammed shut right behind you as you laid down on Won-Shik’s bed.
Perverts!
Junho frowned at the sight of you. He had been worried about you all night. Wanting to check on you, he moved to get up when a hand tightened itself on his hair. He winced and glanced up to see a grin on Yuki’s lips.
“I don’t think I gave you permission to stop, Junnie. (Name) can be alone for a few more minutes.”
For fucks sakes.
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
“Where’s your boyfriend, Ye-Jun? Did he leave you again?”
“Shut the fuck up, Minji.”
Ye-Jun plopped down onto the couch in the recording studio, sending a glare to Minji who was cackling beside him. The band was recording for an upcoming single. Ye-Jun was late by an hour and had unfortunately woken up to the feeling of an empty bed.
You really knew how to piss him off.
“Don’t bully him, Minji. Ye-Jun has a sensitive heart.” Shion said, stepping out of the recording booth. “He’ll go crazy if you remind him his boytoy left him like a one night stand.”
Manager Riwoo sighed. “Can you boys not talk about that type of stuff during recording? You’re not the only ones in here.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking ready to retire at the ripe age of 30.
Shion shrugged. “It’s just you and the composer. Everyone knows by now how much Ye-Jun has an unhealthy obsession with Cho (Name).”
“It’s not unhealthy.” Ye-Jun muttered.
Minji released another cackle at Ye-Jun’s audacity as he walked into the recording booth to record his lines. His laughter could still be heard despite the padded room. Manager Riwoo shook his head and turned his attention over to Minji and the composer.
The couch dipped as Shion plopped down beside Ye-Jun, resting his arm on the others shoulder. Shion was the eldest of the band but had passed on leadership onto Ye-Jun. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t put Ye-Jun into check whenever he deemed necessary.
Like now.
“I don’t care if Cho (Name) has the tightest ass you’ve ever fucked. You better keep yourself contained in public.” Shion whispered, leaning in close so only Ye-Jun could hear.
“Those Knets are sharks, waiting for the slight hint of controversy. Control yourself. Be unhinged in private. Don’t pull a stunt like that at the music show again, okay?”
Ye-Jun rolled his eyes. “Should I stop commenting on his posts?”
“I would like that but you have a limit on how much you listen to your hyung, don’t you?”
A smirk pulled on Ye-Jun’s lips as he tilted his head. Shion looked unimpressed as he sighed.
“Just start liking all of their posts. Knets only like the thought of you possibly being gay. The chance that you are actually gay will be a death sentence.” Shion tapped Ye-Jun’s shoulder before standing up, grabbing his baseball cap to put on.
“I’m heading out, Riwoo Hyung.”
The door closed behind Shion as Ye-Jun watched him leave. It wasn’t like he didn’t take Shion’s words to heart. He knew he was right. Fans only liked the thought of an idol being gay. Him being a band member wouldn’t mean much when many kpop idol fans merge with regular kband fans.
They were rapid and insane either way. Ye-Jun knew he tested his luck that day when he kissed you on stage.
Even though he wanted you—he did love his job.
He sighed. He’d get a headache if he continued to think about this any longer. He pulled out his phone and checked the time.
There was something more important right now.
The fact you thought you could leave him without saying goodbye.
Again.
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
“I really am the only straight man here.” Won-Shik moaned, resting his face in his hands as he silently cried to himself. You patted him on back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to comfort him.
Young-Jae still looked smug. “Lighten up, Hyung! Maybe you’ll find a man you wanna fuck and become gay!”
Won-Shik looked over at Young-Jae with a shocked face. “Don’t even say that… I can never abandon the touch of a woman! I’ll be a fool to trade that in for a man’s disgusting hands.”
“Bisexuality exists. Anyway, Jae-Ah, don’t say that. It’s wrong to force a sexuality onto someone.” Dohyun said, shaking his head.
The band was in your apartment, having a movie night. Well, as much as you guys could anyway. It seemed no one was paying enough attention to even pick out a movie on Netflix.
It had been over a week or so since you had sex with Ye-Jun and he hadn’t texted you. You thought maybe he had gotten some sense and left you alone.
Until Roha had texted you yesterday that Ye-Jun’s phone got destroyed—how? You don’t know—and that he’d be getting a new phone in a few days.
You were already dreading the day.
The band had gotten back to normal relatively quickly. Except Young-Jae seemed to think he was hot shit now. Though you knew why. Young-Jae had pined over Dohyun for over four years.
You’d allow him the month to be a dick and then knock some sense into him after.
Yuki walked over two pizza boxes, placing them on the coffee table in front of the couch. Junho was right behind him, holding some blankets.
“Junho Hyung, there’s some white stuff on your lips.” Young-Jae suddenly said.
Junho gasped, dropping the blankets as he quickly wiped at his mouth. Young-Jae and Won-Shik immediately bust out laughing while Dohyun sighed in disappointment at their childish behavior.
“Did you suck Yuki’s dick earlier?!” Won-Shik managed to say despite his laughing.
“I hate you guys.” Junho sighed, bending down to pick up the blankets. He walked over and dropped the blankets on Young-Jae’s head, earning a strangled grunt from the weight of them.
Yuki seemed unbothered by their teasing as he sat down beside you on the couch. He gave you a paper plate and took out two pizza slices for you. You thanked him and began eating, humming in delight.
“How are you and Kim Ye-Jun? Did you guys talk it out?” He asked, looking over at you.
“Mhm… he talked at me. I found out about how he thinks.” You muttered, rolling your eyes. “He called me pathetic but that’s why he wants me.”
“Ah, we have something in common.”
You froze mid bite, looking over at Yuki with a raised eyebrow. Yuki only gave you a wide grin.
“I find Junho pathetic. It’s why I like him.”
“Ah.” Your voice muffled by the pizza as you tried to ignore Yuki’s sudden confession. You knew Yuki could be a bit odd to anyone that wasn’t you. The thought that it would affect Junho made you feel a bit nervous. But you knew Junho would rather jump off a bridge than ever tell you about his relationship with Yuki.
He was the one that was trying to hide it anyway. Yuki was an open book. You could ask him if he masturbated today and he’d answer honestly.
Was his relationship with Yuki similar to yours with Ye-Jun?
Well, Yuki still had morals and didn’t seem to bad mouth Junho so maybe not totally similar.
You remembered the time your band was on a variety show during your debut. The host had called Junho an idiot with only his muscles being the good thing about him. It was a joke, the host was known for making off putting jokes.
Manager Nayoung had drilled that in you guys before the filming.
That didn’t matter to Yuki though. He had cussed out the host. Having to switch to Japanese when he felt that he couldn’t properly speak his feelings in Korean.
Anyway that episode was heavily edited and your band wasn’t invited to that show again. It was for the best. You were pretty sure Yuki’s rant in Japanese would make the Yakuza whimper.
“What do you like about Junho? Is it just that he makes you feel good?” You suddenly asked.
It had slipped out. You didn’t want to ask this with the other members right within ear shot as they began to fight over if they should watch a romcom or horror movie. But you couldn’t help it.
Ye-Jun’s words bothered you.
Yuki hummed. “No. I like his smile. I like how he puts everyone above himself. He’s very motherly. He has dumb jokes but is also shy about sharing his feelings. While he does take care of me, I like taking care of him even when he tries to fight it. He’s just pure. So pure that I want to ruin him. I love him.”
You frowned. What the hell? Why couldn’t Ye-Jun talk about you like this? To hear Yuki talk about Junho like this almost made you want to cry.
He felt so… loved? Does Ye-Jun even love you?
Has he ever told you that he loved you?
The revelation at the thought made you feel bitter so you quickly tried to push it away. You looked over at Yuki and smirked.
“So you top Junnie Hyung?”
“Mhm, yeah.” Yuki said, unabashedly.
“Is it easy? He’s larger than you even though you’re both the same height.”
“He can be pliant. Those muscles are just for show anyway. But I like that he’s bigger than me. Makes it more fun to have him beneath me.”
“Can you both not talk about my sex life like I’m not here?” Junho suddenly said, sitting down beside Yuki. You blushed, muttering an apology to Junho.
“Sorry, Junnie Hyung. I was just curious. I mean, when we had sex you topped me. I wanted to know if you act similar to when you bottom.”
Yuki hummed. “How did he act when he topped?”
“A gentle giant!” You gleamed. “Junnie Hyung didn’t even orgasm that night. He focus solely on me. I felt bad after but he wouldn’t let me take care of him after.”
“Seriously, guys.” Junho muttered, a slight blush on his face. “This is really embarrassing. Can we just watch the movie?”
“Course, my service top.” Yuki said, snickering as Junho looked away with a grimace.
“What’s a service top?” Won-Shik suddenly asked as he sat down on your left.
“Straight people don’t have service tops?” You pursed your lips in confusion.
“Don’t tell him, (Name)! Only tell him when he fucks his first man.” Young-Jae giggled, wincing when Dohyun pinched him on the neck.
Won-Shik glared at Young-Jae and simply grabbed two slices of pizza. The movie began to play after that. It looked like team horror movie won as I saw the Devil began to play.
You mindlessly ate your pizza before a suddenly thought pierced your brain. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
That night you had lied to Ye-Jun about who you slept with. While you were fuck buddies with Young-Jae during your first year as a trainee. You had fucked two other men after him.
Yang Junho. You didn’t want to tell Ye-Jun the truth that night because of how much he seemed to hate him. Deep down you knew Ye-Jun would never hurt you—physically—but that didn’t mean you weren’t scared of what he’d do to Junho.
You hoped to god that Ye-Jun never figured that out.
It was someone else that you worried about Ye-Jun finding out about.
Song Noeul.
At first when you thought about it, Ye-Jun probably wouldn’t have known who he was. Until when you were going on Ye-Jun’s Instagram—you were bored—that you saw Noeul in one of his pictures.
Noeul was first a trainee to be an idol before shifting to be an actor instead. And lucky for you, Noeul was in one of the dramas Black Rose made an OST for.
To make matters worse, Song Noeul looked like a friend to Kim Ye-Jun.
And you didn’t want to know what would happen if Ye-Jun learned that his “friend” fucked you a few years ago.
Yeah, you didn’t want anything bad to happen to Noeul. Or worse you, for lying about Junho.
Of course, luck was never known to be on your side, was it?
❝ 날 그대로 받아들여, 너의 두려운 ❞
It had been a month or so and you had luck on your side. Ye-Jun was too preoccupied with Black Rose’s promotion for their OST to bother you. You practically danced around when he had texted you that he wouldn’t be able to visit you for the next few weeks.
Of course that didn’t stop him from commenting on your posts. He had started to like the other guys posts but still only commented on yours.
Wasn’t too shocking. You and Yuki still were the only ones that posted religiously. Dohyun was a close second.
You were enjoying the two month break the company had given you guys. So of course Yuki took that time to go to back home to Japan, but his parents were nice enough to invite the band to stay two weeks at their home.
So here you were—enjoying Kyoto, Japan. Yuki’s parents were richer than you had imagined but you wouldn’t complain.
You were outside in the parents garden when you decided to take a selfie with the sunset in the background. You kept the caption short and sweet: 잘 자 💤!
@BRseo_minji commented : @BRkim_yejun, your Cho (Name) is saying good night to other men ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
A frown pulled on your lips. Right. The other Black Rose members also started to bother you. Just your luck.
@BRpark_shion responded : get off your phone and pay attention to the interview please
@BRim_roha commented : when do you come back, (Name)-Ah? I want to see you
@BRhwang_hanbin responded : you have a death wish, Roha Hyung??? Ye-Jun Hyung is gonna kill you ㅎㅎㅎ
@BRkim_yejun commented : your smile killed me ㅠㅠ the sunset doesn’t compare to your beauty
@BRpark_shion responded : can you have a little shame?
@BRhwang_hanbin responded : this isn’t you hyung…
@BRim_roha responded : if only you could put this poetic shit into our lyrics…
@BRseo_minji responded : fa—
“Fa—?” You muttered, wondering what Minji could’ve meant. It took a moment before a certain slur popped up in your mind. A smile threatened to leave your lips. That’s not right. You couldn’t laugh, you shouldn’t laugh.
You decided to read the other comments on your post. Mainly fans saying how cute you were. A few commenting on how cool it was that Black Rose was so close to Love Countdown. Some even saying they wanted a future collab. Like hell you’d want that.
Just as you were about to walk inside, your phone began to ring. You groaned at the caller ID.
Kim Ye-Jun.
You wanted to let it ring but another part of you missed his voice. So you reluctantly answered. The sound of bustling laughter and hushed voices escaped your phone as you could make out Roha saying something before it drowned out. A door slammed shut before it was quiet.
“Jagiya?”
Your stomach did an involuntary flip as you bit your lip. “Y..Yes, Kim Ye-Jun?”
“Kim Ye-Jun? It’s Junnie Hyung.” Ye-Jun answered. “What are you doing?”
“You lost the privilege for me to call you that.” You said bluntly, feeling a bit brave that he couldn’t see you. “I’m just checking out Yuki Hyung’s garden back in Kyoto.”
“Is it just you and him alone?”
You rolled your eyes. “No, everyone in the band came to visit. I don’t know why you’re so possessive, Kim Ye-Jun. I’m not yours.”
“Mhm. Anyway, I wanted to apologize about something.”
Your body froze as your breathing hitched. Apologize? Was he going to apologize for what he did? Was he—
“Sorry I haven’t been able to talk to you. I broke my phone when I threw it at Minji a few weeks ago but when I got a new phone I still couldn’t check on you because we had to promote our single for the drama. It’s a romcom I think.”
“Oh.” You tried to hide the disappointment. “Wait, you threw your phone at Seo Minji? What the hell?”
“Yeah. He was talking shit so I made him shut his mouth. But I missed anyway—he’s too fast.”
“But why your phone?”
“It was the only thing in my hand. I would’ve thrown the weights nearby but I wanted something easier to throw.”
“Uhm. You’re talking pretty lightly about attempted murder.”
“I didn’t want him to die. It didn’t even hit him. Anyway, have you been eating?”
You hummed. “Yeah. Uhm. Kim Ye-Jun, do you… like me or something? Why are you still after me when it’s been five years? It didn’t seem like you liked me all that much back then.”
“Like you? I guess I do. You’re my wallpaper on my phone. I look back at our photos back in university.”
“You didn’t delete them…?”
“Why would I? I look bad in them but you look pretty. You always look pretty. Did you delete yours?”
“Ah. Yeah… I did. I didn’t recover them.”
“Oh. Well I’ll just send what I have over to you. You should also put our picture as your wallpaper, shows your taken.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Taken? Yah, Kim Ye-Jun, you’re really funny. Do I not get a choice in being your fuck buddy again?”
“Fuck buddy? No, you’re mine. You don’t get a choice. You never did.”
A sense of dread creeped up your spine as you stood still, taking in his words. Was.. was he serious?
“(Name), Junho Hyung is calling for you.” A voice startled you as you looked back to see Young-Jae walking over to you.
Young-Jae frowned at the look on your face as he glanced at your phone. He mouthed: who’s that?
“Yang Junho? He’s there?”
You almost talked back to him. Of fucking course Junho was there. It was originally supposed to be a couple trip for Junho and Yuki anyway until his parents told him to invite the rest of you. That’s why Junho and Yuki was staying the month while you all were staying the two weeks.
“Kim Ye-Jun?” Young-Jae suddenly said out loud, causing your eyes to widen. He shook his hand and reached out to grab your phone despite your protests. “Yah, Kim Ye-Jun, bother him when he’s back in Seoul. Leave him alone when he’s on vacation.” He hung up right after that.
“Shit. Man, that Kim Ye-Jun is getting on my nerves. He’s so clingy. How do you put up with him?”
You shrugged. “I don’t think I have a choice.”
“I heard he hates Junho Hyung, why? Does he know that you guys fucked? Wait, does he know that we fucked?” Young-Jae asked, his eyes widening.
“I did tell him about us but he didn’t seem to view you as a threat… Maybe he noticed you like Dohyun Hyung. But I.. I lied about my relationship with Junho Hyung. I was just a bit scared.”
“You shouldn’t be afraid of someone. That’s not normal. Do you want to report him or something?”
You sighed. “I’m not sure. What can I realistically report for him? I don’t refuse him when he calls. Yeah I told him to go away but I always end up going back to him.”
“Hm.” Young-Jae sighed, shaking his head. “You need to grow a backbone, (Name)-Ah. Or at the very least, show him that you will have an equal standing in this relationship.”
“What do you mean?”
“He pulls all the punches. If you can’t find it yourself to leave this toxic swamp you’re swimming in, become as equally as toxic. Punch him back.”
“Toxic swamp? Wasn’t that a lyric in our song?”
“Shut up and take my advice.”
“Alright, Alright. I’ll punch him back.”
Young-Jae rolled his eyes before walking back into the house. You followed close behind. Yuki was on the couch with an irritated Junho. Junho looked to be trying to leave but Yuki had his arms wrapped around his waist.
“You called me, Junnie Hyung?” You asked, walking over to them.
“(Name)-Ah,” Junho smiled up at you as he continued trying to pull at Yuki’s tight grip. “Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You looked a bit scared on the phone.”
“You could see me?”
Yuki hummed. “Junho was watching you before I pulled him onto the couch.”
“Wow, you’re like my mom, Junnie Hyung.”
“A mom that fucked you.”
“Yuki Hyung!” Junho swore, glaring at Yuki who could only laugh. He tugged Junho closer and burrowed his face in his muscular back.
“Who were you talking to, (Name)-Ah? Kim Ye-Jun?” Yuki asked.
“Mhm. He was apologizing for not talking to me often.” You muttered.
“But not for allowing his friends to call you a slut?” Junho rolled his eyes, giving up on his attempt to break free from Yuki’s grip.
You couldn’t help but laugh. “He’d never apologize for that. Not unless I force him to. But then it wouldn’t be satisfying.”
“Who’s Kim Ye-Jun?” Won-Shik walked over to you guys, eating an onigiri. “Why do I never know what you guys are talking about?”
“Because you’re straight.” Young-Jae yelled from the kitchen.
“Shut the fuck up, Lee Young-Jae!”
“Kim Ye-Jun from Black Rose.” Dohyun said, walking over with a plate filled with onigiri that he placed on the coffee table in front of the couch. “He’s been bothering (Name).”
“Our maknae?” Won-Shik’s expression stilled as he glanced over at you. “Should I kill him?”
“No—!”
“—yes!”
You stared over at Junho in shock. Junho gave you a sheepish smile. “I’ll make sure I’m Won-Shik’s alibi so we don’t have to continue on as five.”
“You can’t kill him yet.” Was all Dohyun said as the leader, sitting down on the couch. You expected him to oppose such a thing but it seemed he also hated Ye-Jun.
Shit. You couldn’t help but feel giddy at how much your band mates loved you.
You thought back to Young-Jae’s advice. Punch him back. The thought seemed silly because what could you do that would hurt Kim Ye-Jun?
Then you remembered Song Noeul.
You knew what would drive him insane.
You just had to have the guts to pull through with it.
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
The two month break flew by fast and it was already May. For the groups comeback, your company decided on a happy and love filled single that felt like running through a field of flowers with your lover.
“Don’t you think these lyrics are a bit too sad, (Name)-Ah?” Dohyun looked over at you. You had given him your journal with lyrics you had written to share for the upcoming single.
“Is it? That’s what I was thinking when the company gave us the theme.” You scooted the rolling chair over to Dohyun. The both of you were in a composing room. Won-Shik and Yuki had already made the melody and recorded a small demo.
You and Dohyun were the ones that usually made the lyrics. Junho and Young-Jae occasionally wrote lyrics for your more angsty or depressing songs.
Your lyrics would always be sappy and happy—sometimes a bit cringy so Dohyun usually had to tweak them a bit.
“Yeah.” Dohyun muttered, looking back down at your journal. “These are a bit sad.”
How deep is your love?
묻고 싶어요
I want to ask
더 깊진 않더라도
Even if it can't be deeper
같을 순 없을까요?
Can't it be the same as mine?
“Oh.” You muttered, reading over the lyrics you wrote. Dohyun was right, this didn’t scream happy love. Your lips pursed into a frown as you flipped to the next page of lyrics you had written in accordance to the demo.
모르길 바라요
I hope you don't know
이런 내 마음을
These feelings
사랑하고 있어도
Even when I'm in love
혼자인 것만 같아
I feel alone.
“Uhm. Why don’t we just use your lyrics. I don’t think we can use these.” You slammed your journal shut and pulled it away from Dohyun, shoving it back into your backpack.
“Are you okay, (Name)-Ah?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
The rest of the session was awkward to say the least. Dohyun seemed fidgety as if he wanted to talk to you but also didn’t want to scare you away.
You appreciated your hyung but you also didn’t want to admit that Kim Ye-Jun had such an effect on you after all these years.
What did you even like about him?
What was he to you?
“Y’know,” Dohyun suddenly whispered. “For the Love’s Fool album, the lyrics I put in there were about Jae.”
You froze, looking over at Dohyun in shock. “Huh? Really?”
“Mhm. The third song in the album is basically about Jae. Purely about the guilt I felt for falling in love with him. Seeing him as something more than my dongsaeng.”
“The third song.. But that’s the only upbeat song on the album.”
“I know. We can still use your lyrics even if they’re sad. But I mainly wanted to tell you that you don’t have to feel embarrassed about writing lyrics on Kim Ye-Jun. Junho’s songs are mostly about past relationships anyway.”
“Junho Hyung had past relationships?”
Dohyun grinned. “Your Junho hyung was a little too outgoing back during our trainee days. Though he’d never tell you.”
It was silent for a moment as you watched Dohyun begin to add a few of your lyrics into his own, mixing them around to have a perfect flow and rhythm that matched the composition.
After a moment or so, you decided to try and forget all about your problems by being a menace.
“Hyungie, remember when I caught you and Jae Hyung fucking? Why did you look so out of it? If I didn’t know Jae Hyung, I would’ve been worried that he was taking advantage of you.”
Dohyun blushed, his pen dragging against the paper as he began to stutter. It took a moment before he could even say anything.
“Sub.. Sub space. I was in sub space. That’s all.”
“Sub space? What’s that?”
“It’s just a mental feeling a submissive can get into during sex. I was a bit scared being in it, I’ve never experienced it before. But it’s not dangerous. Jae knew how to take care of me.”
“Not fair… I’ve never experienced that!” You whined, pouting your lips. “Does it feel good?”
“I guess. It makes me feel safe now.”
You thought back to the sex you’ve had these past few years. The feeling that Dohyun had described and the one you had seen with your own eyes seemed foreign. There were a few times you felt tired after sex… but that’s normal.
Dohyun had looked completely out of it—like he was on another planet. You’ve never had that feeling.
Was it because Dohyun trusted Young-Jae?
A few hours later you and Dohyun left the company building. Dohyun went his separate way—having a dinner with his parents for his dad’s birthday.
You absentmindedly hummed to yourself as you pulled out your phone. Who could you bother for the night? Your finger swiped across the screen as you scrolled through your contacts.
The scroll stopped right on Roha’s number. He did say to contact him whenever you were back.
Despite being Ye-Jun’s friend, you liked Roha separately from him. You could be Roha’s friend without Ye-Jun’s permission! You were a grown adult. So, you called Roha and hoped he was free for some tteokbokki.
“Why did you want me to lie to Ye-Jun?”
Roha asked, a smug expression on his face as he took a sip of his beer. You grinned sheepishly as you poked at your salad. The two of you were at a small tteokbokki restaurant that you used to visit here often back in your uni days.
“You don’t have to tell Ye-Jun everything. Are you his child?” You set on asking, eyeing Roha nervously.
“No,” Roha shrugged. “Your relationship to me is separate from Ye-Jun. I never told him the things you told me.”
You perked up at that. “Really..? That means…?”
“No, he doesn’t know that you’ve played the violin since you were in diapers. He never asked so I never told him. If he likes you, he’d want to learn things about you.”
“Wow. How are you and Ye-Jun even friends? You seem so different?”
“If I haven’t met Ye-Jun back in elementary school I wouldn’t be friends with him.” Roha answered, shoving a tteokbokki in his mouth. “Not everyone can handle him… But you seem to be able to.”
“I don’t know about that.” You muttered.
“You haven’t reported him or anything. Or filed a complaint. Or done anything to get him to truly back off.”
“Yeah… But…”
“It’s okay, (Name). The heart is confusing.” Roha looked up at you. “Are you going to let him continue to have total control over the relationship? Back in university you used to dog walk him with ease.”
“I did?” You questioned, tilting your head in confusion. “How…?”
“You technically didn’t do much. You acted like yourself. Because in the end—Kim Ye-Jun can’t handle you being angry at him.”
“Hm. Well it doesn’t even feel like he likes me. Just that he feels like he owns me.”
“That’s probably how he thinks. Ye-Jun isn’t good with expressing himself. He doesn’t write lyrics for our romantic songs. He’s always had this tendency to think he owns people that he loves.”
“Does he think he owns you?”
“He used to. Until I socked him in the face when he tried to forbid me from doing something.” Roha smirked. “Then he learned he had a limit on how much he could “try” to control me.”
“Does he think he owns the other band members?”
“Course. His family is odd, I think that’s where he got that idea. His older brother acts the same way. Even their mother.”
You froze at the mention of Ye-Jun’s family. He never spoke to you about them. Though you couldn’t get too mad about that. It was the same for you never mentioning your parents.
“Does his…—?”
“—family know you? Yeah. He always sent pictures of you to them. You just never met them because they live in Jeju. If they didn’t, you would’ve been met them.”
“Oh. Wait you’re from Jeju Island?”
“Yeah. Did I never tell you? Ah, anyway. Was there something you wanted to ask about Ye-Jun? Or did you really want to hang out with me?”
You pouted. “I did want to hang out with you…”
Roha raised an eyebrow.
“…Both. I did have a question about Ye-Jun. Is he close to Song Noeul?”
“Song Noeul? The actor? Yeah they got close when we made the OST for the drama he was in. Now I get to ask a question in return.”
You watched as Roha pulled out his phone and began scrolling to find a picture. Your breathing hitched at the picture he showed you.
It was a picture of you and Noeul. When you were younger, maybe two years ago? Noeul had his arms around your waist as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Your noses were touching and it looked like you were mid laugh.
No one could try to spin that picture as anything but couple like.
“How’d you…?”
Roha frowned, turning his phone off. “I got it from someone anonymous. I thought it was photoshopped but it’s real. I haven’t shown anyone.”
“Did you ask for it?”
“No way. I wouldn’t try to sabotage you or Song Noeul’s career. I’m just telling you because I think someone is trying to dim Song Noeul’s career and you’re unfortunately about to be hit in the cross fire.”
You frowned, trying to take in the information.
“They also sent stuff about me. Just pictures of me smoking. That’s about it. I’m not sure who it could be. Maybe an ex lover of Song Noeul.”
“Ex lover?”
“He could’ve left his old lover when he started to get famous. The lover got jealous and wants to bring him down. Seems the only dirt they can get on him is that he dated a man.”
“Why don’t they use pictures of him with them if they dated?”
“They don’t want to get found out. Especially if they could be a man themselves. Anyway, I’m just telling you to be careful. They could be following you to see if you interact with Song Noeul again.”
The rest of the dinner felt heavy as you thought about Roha’s warning. Fuck, forget all about the plan with making Ye-Jun angry. You could be outed by some jealous ex lover!
You got home feeling heavy and scared. Sure, Korea was getting progressive these days. But all you could think about was the korean host who came out as gay and got black listed for years!
Straight kpop idols get taken from groups or slammed to death for dating each other.
Sure your group wasn’t too big but you were gaining a sizable fan base. Fuck.
You laid down on your bed and stared up at the ceiling. Should you tell someone? You knew your company wouldn’t be angry—Manager Nayoung was openly a lesbian and even a few other staff members were gay. There was a gay flag in one of the recording rooms!
Dohyun wouldn’t be angry. Won-Shik would find a way to get a murder charge. Yuki would probably also get arrested for murder. Junho would comfort you. Young-Jae would laugh at you before comforting you in his own way.
The soft sputtering of the fan almost lulled into a sleepless slumber when your phone lit up. You reached over and grabbed your phone off the countertop.
It was Ye-Jun.
He just a sent a picture.
An old one.
His hair was a buzz cut. He had no smile on his lips as he stared straight at the camera. You wondered what could be worth sending this when you noticed yourself in the picture.
In the back, you were standing by the door of what you could only assume was a classroom. A wide smile on your face as you looked to be talking to someone that was off frame.
Was this him trying to take a picture of you in secret?
Kim Ye-Jun
↳ The first ever picture I took of you.
↳ freshman orientation
↳ your smile is your best feature
↳ 너무 예뻐서, 자기.
Cheesy.
You laughed, closing your eyes as you placed your phone back on the nightstand. Your throat felt tight as you placed your hands over your eyes. A heavy feeling began to swell in your chest as your lips began to twitch.
Fuck.
You were so emotional.
He was messing with you at this point.
With Young-Jae and Roha’s talk about taking control, you knew you had to if you didn’t have the strength to release Kim Ye-Jun from your heart.
You needed to punch Kim Ye-Jun in the face.
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
↳ you thiink jostt becaze everyone knows your nume that you can just forgot me like that
↳ you werant anyone spezial before I met you song noeul answwwer me you son of a bitch
↳ couldnt get in tuchh with that kim yejun bastaardrd had to go though his frend since when did you hing out with puple like them do they have accentts when they talk they’re from jeju yea
↳ youre facking kim yejun huh or maybe youre stiiill with that shortiiie from that shitty bannds cho (name) I knew you left me for him
↳ whats gaing to hupoen is your fault song noeul you culdve just taken me back instud of dumping me like
↳ those fens of yours are guna be pessed when they releize thiy fell in love wiz a faggot
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
“Guys, guess who just started following us on Instagram!” Won-Shik bursted into the recording room, ignoring Dohyun’s call for him to calm down. He pulled out his phone and showed you and Young-Jae the Instagram account.
“Huh? Who’s that? I don’t pay attention to actors.” Young-Jae asked.
Your eyes narrowed as you looked at the username.
@Yoursunset
(송노을) 7.9m followers 289 Following
“Your sunset?” Junho muttered, leaning over to try and get a better look as well.
Won-Shik hummed. “Well yeah, it makes sense. His name means glow of sunset.”
“His name is Noeul?” Dohyun asked.
Your eyes widened as you took Won-Shik’s phone away from him, ignoring his yell. You swiped at the account and took a look at the pictures. It was him. It really was Song Noeul. He was following the band’s account!
It shocked you that he was so popular. A year ago he only had a mere 98k followers. His dramas must’ve been getting mainstream attention for him to blow up like that.
His pictures looked to be promoting a new kdrama he was a side character as. A light hearted romcom. After that it was just pictures of him on his day to day life. Until you reached two years ago, he earned a lead role in a crime kdrama.
One of the pictures had him with Black Rose. This must’ve been the OST they made back then.
He even had a few pictures alone with Ye-Jun. of course Ye-Jun’s smile looked forced and strained but he did look semi happy near Noeul.
You clicked on Noeul’s recent story to see he was answering questions from fans. And one question asked whats his new favorite album.
Lo and behold he answered with “Love’s Fool” plus a link to your band’s account. The next question was a fan jokingly asking if he’s cheating on Black Rose which he answered with a picture of him and Ye-Jun with an X emoji on Ye-Jin’s face.
The caption said: “Ending relationship with Black Rose, Love Countdown is now my husband”
“Uh,” Won-Shik coughed, raising an eyebrow at your behavior. “Anyway the reason why I was telling you guys this is because this guy is popular! Look at how much followers he has. He just promoted us on his page. We’ll get so many new fans from him!”
Young-Jae looked over at you. “(Name) knows him.”
The rest of the group looked at you in shock. “Huh?!” They yelled in unison.
Right. Your relationship with Noeul was discrete. Especially when he left for another agency to debut as an actor instead. Only Young-Jae had known and it wasn’t because you had told him.
Young-Jae had unfortunately walked in on you having phone sex with Noeul. It was something you tried forgetting.
“(Name)-Ah, you know him?! Are you guys still friends?!” Won-Shik grabbed your face as he squished your cheeks together, making you look up at him. “Are you close? Do you know his MBTI??”
“MBTI…?” Yuki asked, tilting his head.
“Calm down, Won-Shik! (Name)-Ah can’t speak with you squishing his face like that.” Dohyun pulled Won-Shik away as you rubbed your cheeks now that they were free.
“Uh,” you muttered. “Yeah, we’re friends. Well, we were closer back then but I lost contact with him. I think he changed his number and unfortunately I never got it.”
Junho patted you on the back. “Maybe you can try to reconnect? It’s good to have friends that are outside of us.”
“Yeah, use him to get more fans!” Young-Jae grinned.
“Don’t listen to Jae.” Dohyun cut in, glaring at Young-Jae. “Junho is right. You need more friends.”
“I have Roha Hyung.” You pouted.
Junho shook his head. “Yeah, that’s a problem. You need friends outside of your band mates and outside of Kim Ye-Jun’s best friend.”
“Kim Ye-Jun is friends with Noeul…”
“But you knew Song Noeul first! So technically you have a right to be close to him.” Yuki chimed in.
Won-Shik grinned. “Think of it this way. You get a new friend and some extra connections for our band!”
“Stop thinking about money, Won-Shik!”
“Hey, money makes the world go round! We gotta get a deal for an OST before our second year anniversary!!!”
You began to tune out Won-Shik’s and Dohyun’s bickering as you glanced down at Noeul’s account.
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt. Though the whole thing with someone threatening to out Noeul bothered you. Despite worrying about yourself—you worried about Noeul even more.
Now that you knew he was gaining popularity, he had more to lose at being outed.
At the very least… You thought it was in your best interest to warn Noeul that someone was threatening to ruin his career.
Now you just had to find a way to get close to him again. Would he even want to speak to you?
The rest of the day was spent in the recording booth. Won-Shik and Dohyun bickering. Young-Jae not so subtly fondling Dohyun’s ass whenever he thought no one was looking. Yuki and Junho snuggled together on the couch as Yuki occasionally bit Junho’s cheek.
You stayed on the far right of the couch—pondering on ways to creep back into Noeul’s life.
Message him on Instagram? No, his company probably checks his DMs.
Do a post and tag him? Would that be weird?
Go to his agency and ask to meet him? No way.
Ask Ye-Jun for his number? You’d rather jump off a bridge.
Maybe you’d have to just post and tag him.
Your phone suddenly lights up with a text from Ye-Jun. Speak of the devil.
It was another picture. One of him again. It looked to be taken not even a few days ago. He was dressed in a black harness that was over a skin tight white t-shirt. A black choker. You couldn’t see his lower half. But you could see his eye makeup.
Intense was putting it lightly. The eyeshadow was a dark black. His face was lightened up with a bit of white blush. A bit gothic? He still wasn’t smiling, of course. Another picture was sent, this time with a message.
↳ Our first OST filming
↳ Just remembered it
↳ It’s been two years, I think my hair cut looks similar to how it is now
↳ should I dye my hair? What’s your favorite color?
The picture made you do a double take. It was of him and Noeul. Noeul was dressed in a regular outfit. A black sweater with a hat on. He must’ve been visiting to see the music video happen.
It was a stark contrast. Noeul had a wide smile. His eyes forming into crescent moons as he put up a peace sign. Ye-Jun still looked dead at the camera with not even a hint of a smile.
Seeing Noeul felt different. He matured since you last saw him. He still had those sharp monolid eyes. Shaggy black hair. Soft plump lips.
Ye-Jun and Noeul didn’t look too far off from each other now that they were close.
Huh, you really did have a type.
You almost began to text Ye-Jun, asking him about Noeul but decided against it.
You knew a good way to get his attention.
Your eyes flickered back onto the picture. It almost felt like Ye-Jun staring right at you. His eyes were intense. Almost cold.
Were his eyes always this cold?
❝ 차가운 네 눈이 ���를 삼켜 ❞
The first time you ever met Song Noeul, he was quiet. Unnaturally quiet. So you stuck to him like glue.
Opposites attract. That’s what they say.
Even when he decided to become an actor instead—you still walked thirty minutes to meet him. It was pure friendship at first.
He was different personality wise from Ye-Jun but somehow had a familiar aura to him. Maybe a version of Ye-Jun you thought you had known.
Noeul was dating someone. Someone that you knew was treating him badly. You had once tried to relate it to your relationship with Ye-Jun until you saw the bruises on Noeul’s face one day.
That person was dangerous. Noeul never told you who it was—never even told your their gender.
It wasn’t until a year later, the day that you had finally been chosen in the final lineup for your company’s upcoming band that your relationship with Noeul was no longer platonic.
You had ran to him and tackled him into a hug outside of his agency. Your noses touched together as you excitedly told him the good news. It wasn’t even a moment later before he kissed you.
Then it just continued from there.
But all good things seem to always end for you. Noeul had gotten his first role as a side character in a kdrama and you got busy with your debut. You both just…drifted apart by pure accident.
A sigh left your lips as the memories began to flood your brain. Song Noeul was just too good to be true. You almost didn’t want to bother him. But you tried to tell yourself that he deserved to know about someone attempting to ruin his career.
You looked back, making sure the sunset was in view. You were out at the park—Junho and Young-Jae wanted to go for a walk so you tagged along. They were both doing some type of weird work out on the public bench as you tried to get a good angle for your picture.
Your lips pulled into a grin as you took multiple pictures. After going through them—you picked the three that you looked the best in and began to draft a post for Instagram.
The caption read: 안녕, 여러분!! 노을이 예쁘죠?
It was a bit one the nose but you were desperate. If you wanted to talk about the sunset, you would’ve used “일몰” instead of Noeul. Only a dumbass wouldn’t get your message.
@BRim_roha commented : ah, cute—I should steal you for myself
@BRhwang_hanbin responded : HYUNG STOP!!! Ye-Jun Hyung will kill you for real!
@BRseo_minji responded : didn’t you tell us earlier to stop spamming his comment section?
@BRpark_shion responded : you idiots make it seem like we have nothing better to do. WE ARE STILL DOING PROMOTIONS DUMBASS!!!!
@BRkim_yejun commented : why are you all here before me….? Anyway, so pretty, Jagi. Why did you use 노을?
You sighed. Of course those stupid fucks were already spamming your comment section. You scrolled past their conversation as Minji and Hanbin got into an argument.
Your heart felt like it was being clenched by a hand. Squeezed tightly as if you couldn’t breathe anymore. Maybe he wouldn’t get it. Maybe he didn’t even care about you like that and just liked your music?
Maybe he didn’t even want to talk to you ever again because he’s living a better life now and how could he possibly want a reminder about his before and and—
@Yoursunset commented : Yeah, I think I’m very pretty ㅋㅋㅋ
You definitely didn’t squeal, most definitely not. Young-Jae glanced over at you with an unimpressed look. Junho gave you smile before turning his attention back to his workout.
Perfect. Everything would be set in motion, one step at a time.
The next few weeks you would post something that Noeul would comment on. He made no attempt to try and go any further with that and you were set on keeping it there as well.
This would be enough. It could be enough for you.
It didn’t make much sense in your mind.
Ye-Jun was crazy but you liked him. Noeul was seemingly normal and you liked him.
Was it normal to like two men at the same time?
Did you even feel love for Noeul or was it just nostalgia?
You were just confused these days.
And you began to notice an odd uptick in Ye-Jun’s behavior. More so the fact he hasn’t been talking or texting you.
But everything is going to be fine.
Right?
Yeah… You knew deep down it wasn’t.
❝ 불안하게 만드는 거야 왜? ❞
It was a fine and calming day. Love Countdown was doing the photoshoot for their upcoming single: Spring Day. The theme was fun and more upbeat than the previous comeback.
The photo shoots were always fun for you. Dressing in cool outfits. The funky sets. And even just taking pictures with your hyungs was a blast.
You had just finished up your solo photoshoot when your phone began to rang. It was Ye-Jun. Your body froze as you stared at your phone, slipping on your jacket. It had been a few weeks since he’d call.
It felt like your heart was hammering in your chest as you let it ring. You couldn’t answer it. You knew it wouldn’t be smart to answer it with staff around you. The call ended and a message was swiftly sent to you.
↳ meet me at the hotel. You know which one
He didn’t send anything else after that. You didn’t respond. You’d go either way. Fuck, why were you going? But before you knew it—you were standing at the hotel he took you that day after Manager Nayoung’s birthday party.
There was another text sent to you with the room number once you reached it. How’d he..?
You didn’t question it, going straight to the room. Maybe you can finally do what Young-Jae and Roha told you to do. Punch Kim Ye-Jun.
Your knuckles rasped against the door for only a second when it pulled open. A shocked grunt left your lips as Ye-Jun pulled you inside the room. He slammed the door shut behind himself as you stared at him shock.
Gosh, seeing him after almost five months was a bit surreal. He was clean faced and a bit sweaty, maybe he had ran over here? His hair was messy as he stood up straight. You stopped giving him a glance over and looked him in the eye.
Oh.
He was angry.
“Cho (Name)…”
Fuck. Fuck, he was probably going to talk about Junho.
“What’s your relationship to Song Noeul? You’ve practically been flirting with him for the last few weeks. What the fuck is that? He’s my friend, y’know?”
You couldn’t help the slight smirk on your lips. At least Junho was safe. “Your friend…? Ah, right. You think you know me, hm? Well, I know Song Noeul. Longer than you have.”
“Longer than me? How? I’ve known him for over three years now.”
“Mhm. Why should I tell you? Can I not have a relationship with Song Noeul? Is he yours? Roha Hyung said that you have an odd tendency to take ownership over people.”
“Ownership?” Ye-Jun laughed. “What else did Roha Hyung tell you? Tell you about our kindergarten days? High school days before I went off to the military?”
“No. Because if I want to learn someone about you—I’ll ask you. Because if you like someone—you’d want to learn everything about them.”
Ye-Jun’s eyes widen and he almost looked shocked before he shook his head. “You didn’t answer my question. What’s your relationship to Song Noeul?”
“Remember when you asked me about who I slept with? I told you about a trainee that you wouldn’t have known about… I was wrong—you clearly know Noeul-Ah.”
“He’s not a hyung to you?”
“He was born the year after mines.” You grinned, enjoying the look of shock on his face. “You’d know that… if you remembered my birthday.”
“You’re really cocky these days, (Name)-Ah. It’s cute. Real cute. It’s almost making me wonder why I’m still wanting you.”
You glared at him. “That’s all you can think about. You only want me. Do you… Do you even like me? What do you even like about me? How pathetic I am to you?”
Yuki’s words about Junho were flooding back to you. Why were you so after Ye-Jun? Why did you let him crawl into your heart? Why did you even let him come back?
“What do you want me to say, (Name)?”
“I…That you love me. That you don’t just find me pathetic.. That… That there’s other things you like about me.. y’know? My personality… things I do.”
“Love you?” Ye-Jun’s eyebrows farrowed as he stared at you in shock. He sighed, rubbing at his forehead. “What’s with this all of sudden? You didn’t care that I didn’t say it much back then. Why now?”
Your lips pressed into a straight line as you glared at him. “You don’t even say it all. Just.. why do you want me?”
Ye-Jun glanced over at you. “I don’t know. I don’t know, (Name). When you left me, I felt empty. I don’t know what these feelings are but I know that I can’t be without you.”
“Yeah? Well, I know how to speak about my feelings. And I know when to admit my mistakes.”
“Mistakes?”
“Mhm. You won’t ever apologize for what you did to me but I’ll apologize to you right now. I lied. I did fuck Yang Junho. No, he fucked me. He fucked me good and I liked every—”
A strangled gasp left your throat as Ye-Jun grabbed your arm and slammed you against the wall. His lips smashed against yours as you tried pushing him away. But he was stronger, tightening his hold on your arms as he moved to cage you against the wall.
Your hands gripped at his shirt when you realized you had no strength to push him off. His teeth bit at your lip as he pressed his body against yours.
He finally pulled away from the kiss, glaring down at you. “Yang Junho, huh?”
A smirk pulled on your lips as you stared up at him. Your lip burned. Fuck, did he cut it open?
“Yeah. Yang Junho. Does that piss you off? Make you angry?”
“Keep talking, Cho (Name). It pisses me off even more. But that’s what you want. To piss me off.”
“Maybe. Does the thought of Yang Junho fucking me into the bed make you angry? Does it make you hate me for abandoning you for someone better?”
Ye-Jun blinked as he took in your words. A slow smirk pulled on his lips as he let out a laugh.
“Yeah, it makes me hate you.”
His hands trailed down to your legs and gripped your thighs. He hoisted you up with ease as he carried you over to the bed. You grunted when you were unceremoniously dropped without a warning. Hands gripped your jeans as Ye-Jun pulled off it off.
You reached up and slipped off your shirt, readying to take off your boxers when you heard the sound of fabric tearing.
“Kim Ye-Jun! That’s the second pair of boxers you’ve tore!”
Ye-Jun didn’t answer you, his gaze hard as he slipped off his own shirt. You gulped. Maybe you really did make him angry this time. Your gaze followed Ye-Jun as he gripped your waist. He easily turned you over into your stomach, ignoring your yelps.
The sound of skin slapping caused you to shriek, back arching. He really just spanked you. His hands gripped the soft flesh of your ass, slowly spreading you open. Your hands gripped into the bedsheets as you waited in anticipation of what he was going to do.
Teeth sunk into your ass, earning a shuddered gasp from you. Ye-Jun bit and marked at your ass. He left no space of your ass unmarked. Your cock twitched as you slowly grind against the bed, giving yourself some form of relief.
You gasped, hips jittering as you felt a tongue lick around your hole. Ye-Jun’s nails dug into your skin as he began to mouth at your hole. The feeling of his tongue threatening to slip inside sent you into a frenzy.
It had to have been because you hadn’t had sex in over five months. Didn’t help you would sometimes over hear Young-Jae and Dohyun having the time of their lives late at night.
“K..Kim Ye-Jun…” You whimpered, gasping as you felt spit coat your rim. “No lube..?!”
“You don’t deserve lube.” Was all Ye-Jun said before his middle and ring finger teased your outer rim. Your body shivered. Fuck, fuck.
The fingers pressed against your hole before he slammed it inside, earning a cry from you. You subconsciously rose your ass up as Ye-Jun began to finger fuck you. Without lube there was a slight burn. But it only made you more horny.
Ye-Jin’s fingers curled, teasing your wet inner wall as you gasped. A graze against your prostate earned a strangled whimper from you as you bit your tongue. This wasn’t a love hotel—you didn’t want to be screaming when it was only 7 pm in the evening.
His fingers repeatedly pressed against your prostate. Rubbing smooth circles around it as you cried and whimpered. Your cock felt heavy. You felt as if you could orgasm now. But then he suddenly stopped.
“Ngh…?” You whimpered, eyes opening as you tried to look back at Ye-Jun.
“What? Don’t think you can bat your eyelashes and I’ll do what you say.” Ye-Jun laughed, rudely pushing your head back onto the bed. “Don’t look back at me again unless you don’t want to cum at all tonight.”
It was silent for a second. Your body began to twitch with anxiety as you could feel your cock losing its erection. What was he trying to do?
A complaint was on the tip of your tongue when a brutal four minutes had passed but you didn’t get to say anything. His two fingers thrusted back inside of your puckered hole as you gasped in shock. They immediately zeroed in on your prostate—not holding back a continuous attack.
He rubbed the edge of your prostate before pressing down fully on it. You whined, your hips jerking upwards as he didn’t make any movement. Your cock was alive once again, the tip sticky and wet with pre-cum.
You were so close. Almost there.
But he didn’t move again. He kept his middle and ring finger resting right on your prostate. Your toes curled as you bucked your hips backwards to try and get him to move. That earned a harsh smack right on your ass.
“I didn’t say you could move.”
You whimpered, trying to will your body to stay still. It felt like hours when it was only two minutes before he began to tease your prostate. A thankful groan left your throat as you tried to savor the feeling.
Your cock rubbed against the bedsheets as it coated them with your pre-cum. A babble of nonsense left your lips as you gripped at the sheets—reaching your orgasm.
Then it stopped just as you reached your peak.
A whiny almost pathetic whimper left your throat as you felt tears water in your eyes. You couldn’t take this anymore. Your body began to shake slightly as you tried to calm down even as the tears began to fall.
“Hurts?” Ye-Jun suddenly whispered against your ear. You flinched, feeling his body heat against you. Only a whimper left you.
“Good.” He simply said, pulling away.
Your eyes widen as you felt his hand reach underneath your stomach, grasping your aching cock. You almost cried tears of joy as he began to jerk you off, his fingers occasionally rubbing your prostate in tandem. Your eyes practically rolled to the back of your head as you couldn’t help back your high pitched moans.
“Almost there, Jagiya. I’m sure Yang Junho never made you feel like this…” he suddenly tightened his grip on the tip of your cock, stopping your orgasm. “Just like I’m sure he isn’t as cruel as me.”
“Noooo…” You cried out, reaching up to crawl away from Ye-Jun. He only laughed and pulled his hand away, grabbing your hips and pulling you back down to the edge of the bed.
“Where are you going? I thought you wanted to cum.”
“I…ngh…..! ‘Ate ‘u…!” You managed to mutter, your eyes feeling heavy.
“Mhm. I hate you too, Jagiya.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss on your shoulder. “If only you weren’t promoting soon. You deserve my mark all over your body. Maybe then you’ll realize you’re mine.”
He pulled away from your body, leaving you to cry at the loss. Ye-Jun hummed as he grabbed your waist and flipped you into your back, forcing your head to lay off the edge of the bed. You were face to face with growing bulge. His hand pulled down his zipper, tugging down his boxers, as his cock slipped free.
It was inches from your face, the tip touching your nose. Ye-Jun reached over and wiped at your face. Your face was stained with tears. A smile pulled on his lips as he uncharacteristically gently stroked your cheek before grabbing his cock and pressing it against your lips.
You obeyed with ease, your lips parting as he slowly thrusted his cock into your mouth. He was slow—seemingly nice enough to not just trigger your gag reflex immediately. His hand traced your cheek before trailing down to your throat, rubbing the slight bulge there.
Your cock twitched as your legs clamped together. You wanted to cum so bad but didn’t make any attempt to grab your own cock despite it leaking dejectedly on your stomach.
“You’re pretty with your mouth shut, Jagiya. If you didn’t have a pretty voice when singing, I would make sure you could never talk again.”
A pathetic whimper left your throat as you tried to ignore the thought.
His hand gently massaged your throat before he pulled his hips back. You braced yourself, closing your eyes at the feeling of him against your tongue. His tip teased the tip of your tongue before he slammed his hips forward.
The sound of his grunts and your choked gasps filled the room as he fucked your mouth. He wasn’t gentle or slow in the slightest, making sure he could go as deep as possibly without triggering your gag reflex. Your toes curled as your body moved from his heavy thrusts.
Your cock was leaking pre-cum all over your tummy as you itched over to quickly jerk yourself off. You needed an orgasm like twenty minutes ago.
“That’s it. Jerk yourself off.” He said, tightening his grip on your throat. You didn’t need to be told twice as you quickly grabbed your cock and began jerking off to the rhythm of his thrusts. Your hips jerked up as your body was taking over by the pleasure.
Ye-Jun smirked as he quickened his pace, widening his stance as he slammed his cock deep inside your throat. You could feel yourself choking just a bit—almost forgetting to breathe.
“Nose. Use your nose.” Ye-Jun suddenly grunted out, noticing your hands frantically gripping at the bed. You felt like an idiot for forgetting to do that but you tried to give yourself a pass at being too taken with the pleasure.
You moved your hand back to your cock and quickly jerked yourself off, ready to finally meet your first orgasm. Ye-Jun seemed close as well judging by his moans. It felt like your body was spasming as your cock finally squirted cum onto your stomach, shooting up to your chest.
Ye-Jun pulled his cock out as you let out a strangled and hoarse scream. Your hips jerked upwards as you continued jerking yourself off during your orgasm. Wet tears streamed down your face as you took a deep breath, trying to calm down as your body shook from the intense sensation.
Your neck hurt so you tried to move to rest properly on the bed but didn’t get to move far when Ye-Jun gripped your throat. A shocked gasp left your throat as you looked up at him to see him smirking at you.
“Hey, don’t be so selfish.” He used his free hand to jerk himself as he pointed his cock right at your face. You could only squirm in his grip, hands reaching up to try and pull his hand off your throat. But it was useless, he was larger than you.
White cum squirted from Ye-Jun’s cock, landing right on your face. You quickly shut your eyes as it landed on your lips, cheeks, and nose. Luckily nowhere near your eyes. Ye-Jun rubbed at your throat before pulling away.
His touch was soft. You almost called back for him. But you couldn’t speak. This feeling felt different. Like you could just sleep peacefully and wake up refreshed the next day.
Was this… the sub space Dohyun mentioned? Did Ye-Jun really make you feel this safe despite everything?
The sound of a zipper pulling up caught your hears as you finally opened your eyes. He was far away. Too far. You had to hold back the childish whimper that threatened to leave you.
“…’her you ‘ing..?” You managed to hoarsely mutter.
Ye-Jun tilted his hand at you as he grinned. “You look good with cum on your face, (Name). It’s my favorite sight.” He pulled out his phone and took a picture. You didn’t even have the mental strength to yell at him for that.
He walked away and you strained to watch him as he slipped on his sneakers. He was leaving? Leaving you like this? You grunted, using your strength to sit up properly on the bed as you stared at him in shock.
“You’re not..”
“Leaving? Yeah, I’m leaving.” Ye-Jun said, grabbing his jacket and baseball cap off the hook.
He looked back over at you, his face unreadable.“I hate you, remember? Just like you hate me. Isn’t that our relationship? We’re fuck buddies now.”
With that, he left. You stared at the door in shock as you tried to calm down. What the fuck? Fuck buddies? Your heart felt odd. You felt as if you were having trouble breathing.
What was wrong with you?
You pushed yourself off the bed, kneeling down to grab your jeans as you pulled out your phone. Tears began to fall onto the screen as you shakily pressed the first contact you came across in your messages.
“Wonnie Hyung…?” You hiccuped. “I need you.”
❝ 반대로 가고 있는 것 같아요 ❞
“I’m going to murder him.”
You looked over at Junho as he paced around Won-Shik’s bedroom. Won-Shik was beside you on the bed with an uncharacteristically blank stare. When you had called him he had practically ran to where you were.
The look on his face when you opened the door was something you didn’t want to see again.
“So he was angry at you and then did all that?” Won-Shik suddenly spoke, the first time in the hour he brought you home. You mutely nodded, burrowing yourself into the bedsheets. It was embarrassing to tell your band mate this but you didn’t exactly have anyone else.
No way in hell were you going to Roha. Or worse, your parents. You haven’t exactly spoken to them in five years.
Junho groaned, rubbing at his head. “Why is he like this? Does he even like you? He says he was lonely when you left but now that he has you again he’s acting like a fucking fool?”
“I’m a fool for going back to him.” You whispered, sighing to yourself. Junho frowned as he finally sat down on the bed, rubbing your head.
“Don’t beat yourself, (Name)-Ah. You just.. You must really like him. I’m not sure why, but he must’ve been a good person before this all happened.”
“He was. But I’m starting to think I love him because he’s the first boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
“Could be that. But even when you were away from him—did you still think about him?”
“Of course. I always thought about him. I’m so confused with myself.”
Junho gave you a comforting smile as he moved to lay down with you on the bed. You couldn’t help but laugh as he wrapped the blanket around you like a cocoon and hug you to his chest.
Won-Shik hummed, catching your attention. He looked over at you and gave you a tight smile. “I’ve thought about what to do and unfortunately they all come up with me getting a murder charge.”
“I can still be your alibi.” Junho said seriously.
“Tempting.”
“Please don’t.” You whined, pouting. “I think I’ll get more depressed if he’s gone for good and you’ll be locked up in jail.”
“You’re too nice, (Name)-Ah.” Won-Shik sighed, shaking his head. He pulled out his phone and got up. “I need to tell Dohyun Hyung. I’ll be back.” He left the room, leaving you and Junho alone.
Junho nuzzled your hair before sighing softly. “Why’d you tell him that we slept together, (Name)-Ah? That was dangerous.”
“He would never hurt me physically.”
“But he has no problem hurting you mentally.”
You only closed your eyes, burying your face into the blanket cocoon. You were too mentally tired to think about this right now. Right now, you wanted to the warmth of Junho and your blanket cocoon.
It seemed you fell asleep because you woke up to Young-Jae on the bed with you. He was wrapped around you like an octopus, leg and arm over your body. Soft snores left his throat as you could see drool on his chin. You almost laughed at the sight.
Another body pressed against you as you looked to your left to see Dohyun right beside you, fast asleep. He looked like an angel compared to Young-Jae’s chaotic form. Dohyun’s arms were cross against his chest as his hair somehow stayed perfectly neat. How could one sleep like that?
A grunt left Young-Jae as he mumbled something before he opened his eye. His eye narrowed in on you as if he was trying to see if you were awake.
“….?egah?”
“What?” You laughed, watching as he sat up, pulling away from you. Young-Jae yawned, stretching his arms out before turning to look down at you.
“How’d you sleep?” He asked.
“Good. This cocoon is comforting.”
Young-Jae nodded as he rubbed his bed head. He glanced around before humming. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“About Kim Ye-Jun?”
“No. The sub space.”
“Sub space? Did I really get into it?”
“I’m guessing. With how Won-Shik described your behavior when he came to get you. Have you ever experienced it before?”
“No… I don’t think Kim Ye-Jun knows anything about that type of stuff. Our sex back then was pretty vanilla. It’s only the two times we’ve fucked that he’s been more mean and dominant during sex.”
“So you guys didn’t discuss any boundaries or anything like that?”
“No. Why would we?”
Young-Jae sighed. “Of course. Well he’s still a dick either way even if you were both naive to what you were doing. Did he really say he hated you?”
You hummed, looking down.
“He’s insane. He acts so lovey dovey on Instagram but he seems unhinged in person.”
“It’s like…” You frown, pursing your lips together. “He has trouble speaking his feelings when we’re face to face. But on text, he acts like how he used to act before we broke up.”
“Do you think… he does it on purpose? Or maybe he just doesn’t realize?”
“I don’t know. I want him to realize how he’s affecting me. First I think he’s acting loving towards me and then he does shit like this.”
“I told you,” Young-Jae smirked. “You’re going to have to punch him. You gotta let him know he isn’t the boss of this relationship if you really won’t leave him. Stop letting him lead the conversations.”
You thought back to what Roha said. How he had to punch some sense into Ye-Jun to tell him how he was being suffocating. Maybe… Maybe you did need to stop acting nice.
Kim Ye-Jun would only listen with violence. Because it seemed he never grew up during his high school years.
And if that didn’t work…
You’d have to gain the strength to completely cut Kim Ye-Jun out of your life forever.
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
↳ SONG NOEUL
↳ ywure intarcating wiz hem agaen i tuld ywu to cemo buck to me
↳ thus wel be ywoure fult fagot
↳ cho (name) bund wel be reined becaze of ywo
↳ kell ywor silf for twryinf to abendon me
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
It had been over a week since the whole incident. Ye-Jun had made no attempt to contact you. You kept drafting so many messages on what to send him. Wondering if it’d be better to meet him in person.
You felt like you’d pop a blood vessel if you continued any longer.
So, Won-Shik and Young-Jae took you out to dinner. It was a restaurant you’ve never tried so you were excited the entire time. Won-Shik and Young-Jae knew how to get your mind off things with ease.
You felt a pep in your step as you walked behind Young-Jae with Won-Shik beside you. They wanted to take a scenic walk through the park before going home. Won-Shik was showing you something on your phone when Young-Jae suddenly stopped.
“Huh? Something wrong?” You asked, walking up to see what made him pause.
It was Roha, Ye-Jun and another band member of theirs. You couldn’t tell who it was until they walked over. Ah, it was Shion. Shion’s eyes narrowed on you as if it was the first time he was ever seeing you. Roha grinned and waved.
Ye-Jun, for the first time in forever, avoided eye contact with you.
You almost thought that it couldn’t have been Ye-Jun at all.
“Evening. I’m Park Shion. I don’t think we properly met.” Shion said, holding his hand out. Young-Jae glared at his hand while Won-Shik stepped over and returned his handshake. With Won-Shik being the oldest, he had a duty to protect his maknaes.
“Shin Won-Shik. Introduce yourself.” He told you and Young-Jae.
“… Lee Young-Jae.”
“Cho (Name).”
“Im Roha.”
It was silent before Shion grabbed Ye-Jun by the back of his neck, essentially scuffing him like a cat. Ye-Jun grunted before sending a deadly glare at Shion.
“…Kim Ye-Jun.”
“I know.” Won-Shik answered, eyeing Ye-Jun up and down. Ye-Jun was 6 foot but was nothing compared to Won-Shik’s 6’3. You had some weirdly tall band mates. It was practically a joke from your company that half of the band should’ve been volleyball players.
An awkward silence filled the space as the six of you stared at each other. Only Roha seemed amused by everything, a light smirk on his lips as he looked over at you. He chuckled and motioned at Ye-Jun, making a bawling motion with his hands.
Bawling? Kim Ye-Jun bawling? It’d be a frigid day in hell if that was true.
But Roha wouldn’t have any reason to lie to you.
Roha stopped for a moment before he began to mouth something to you.
Geu… reul… ju…meok..eu..ro?
그를 주먹으로?
Geureul jumeokeuro?
It took a moment before it could register in your mind. Punch him. Roha was telling you to punch him. A grin spread on your lips as you took in Roha’s advice.
Won-Shik tilted his head as he stared straight at Ye-Jun. “Why are you bothering my maknae? Are you so lonely that you go after someone you willfully mistreated? Has your personality pushed away everyone that you have to prey on someone who has an unconditional love for you that it’s the cause of their own downfall?”
You watched as he stepped forward, leaning his head down so he could look Ye-Jun straight in the eye. Ye-Jun’s lips straightened into a thin line as he stared right back him, eyes narrowing as if he was daring Won-Shik to continue.
That didn’t seem to be the right answer as Won-Shik grabbed Ye-Jun’s jacket and pulled him close. Roha backed away, an amused smirk on his lips while Shion sighed. He didn’t make any effort to help Ye-Jun though—he was shorter than the both of them at 5’9. No way in hell would he risk himself for Ye-Jun’s own problem.
“You talk all that shit to (Name) and Junho but you can’t do it to me? Do I scare you, Kim Ye-Jun?” Won-Shik was certainly scaring you. Being tall with a muscular body was just intimidating in general. Pair it with his features—he just looked naturally scary.
It was a thing in the fandom that many of the fans found it hot how scary he could be while cuddly the next.
And right now, you were glad none of the fans ever saw how scary Won-Shik could truly be.
“Stop playing with (Name). Because if you truly wanted him like you say, you wouldn’t leave him a sobbing mess for us to clean up after you ruined him for your own pleasure.” Won-Shik released his grip on Ye-Jun, shaking his head as he walked away from him.
Young-Jae frowned. “I was hoping you’d punch him.”
Roha laughed. “Yeah me too!”
“Roha!” Shion glared at Roha who only laughed, shrugging his shoulders. Ye-Jun rubbed at the collar of his jacket as he straightened it back. He still wouldn’t look at you. Somehow that made you angrier than anything he’s done before.
The whole speech you had wanted to give him was long out of your mind at this point. You would probably speak to him another time.
Your feet moved before you could even think. The others watched you, Won-Shik instinctively reaching out to stop you. Ye-Jun finally looked over at you when he noticed you from his peripheral vision. He opened his mouth to speak but you stopped him.
“(Name)—”
A shocked yell left Shion as everyone watched in shock as you slam your fist square inbetween Ye-Jun’s eyes. Ye-Jun’s balance stumbled as he grunted at the force, about to fall to the ground until Roha grabbed his arms. Roha began laughing, holding Ye-Jun from off the floor.
“I didn’t think you’d actually punch him!” Young-Jae yelled, unsure if he should feel proud or shocked.
You whined, shaking your right hand as you brought it up to your face to see your knuckles were bleeding. Fuck, did punching people always hurt like this?
“You’re so funny, Cho (Name)! I meant it metaphorically but he deserved to be punched!” Roha laughed.
“Wait, you never punched..? But you said you socked him in the face?” You cried, wondered how the fuck you were wrong in your interpretation of events.
“Poor wording. I did shove him against a table and he ended up hurting his face from the fall. But this is the best day of my life!”
Shion looked mostly shocked. He glanced down at Ye-Jun. “Shit, he’s bleeding. How am I going to explain this to Riwoo Hyung?!”
Roha shrugged. “Tell him Ye-Jun fucked around and found out. Let’s go, I’m tired of holding him up.”
Won-Shik was just staring at you, mouth agape before a wide grin spread on his lips. He grabbed you by the waist and hoisted you up, spinning around despite your yelps for him to put you down.
“Cho (Name)!! Who knew you had it in you? You’re not just a cute maknae, you’re a strong maknae! You might’ve broke his nose!”
Young-Jae walked over to you two and smirked. “Let’s hope he doesn’t hate you enough to press charges.”
You and Won-Shik stopped celebrating as realization began to settle in. Ah fuck. You looked over to see Roha and Shion dragging Ye-Jun away. Roha looked back and waved goodbye, giving you a thumbs up.
It was so odd that Ye-Jun’s childhood friend would enjoy seeing his friend get beat. Shion didn’t even seem too upset. You could see them both struggle a bit, Roha and Shion were slimmer compared to Ye-Jun’s stocker build as they dragged him away.
Won-Shik finally placed you on the ground as he lovingly patted your head. “Let’s not tell Dohyun Hyung. He’d have a heart attack.”
Young-Jae hummed. “Yeah, Jagi might pass out and I won’t get to fuck him tonight.”
You and Won-Shik stared at Young-Jae with an unimpressed expression. “Gross.” You said in unison.
“What?”
The rest of the walk back to the apartment complex was fun. Won-Shik kept complimenting you about the punch while saying you should’ve went for a different form. It was the reason why you ended up hurting your hand just as bad.
Your right hand was in total pain. Your knuckles bloody. It hurt to flex your hand so you were just keeping it as still as possible until Yuki could dress your wound once you got home. Though it would be a pain to explain what happened to Yuki.
Hopefully he’d be proud of you.
Just as you reached the door to the complex, the sight of someone caused you to froze.
Standing near the building dressed in a white t-shirt and a puffy black jacket with black sweatpants. You almost thought you were going crazy until the person took off their cap and pulled down their mask.
Song Noeul.
He looked prettier in person. His lips pulled into a wide smile. “(Name) Hyung?” His voice like a melody. You always wondered why he quit singing when his voice was so soft and sweet.
“SONG NOEUL?! I love your dramas!!!” Won-Shik yelled, practically vibrating in excitement. Noeul looked shocked at first before smiling at Won-Shik. He bowed his head.
“Thank you, Shin Won-Shik.”
“YOU KNOW MY NAME?!? HAHAH!!! Call me Won-Shik Hyung, please!!!!”
“Calm the fuck down, Hyung.” Young-Jae muttered. “He’s here for (Name), not for you to fanboy all over him.”
Won-Shik quickly schooled his expression, nodding. “Yes, of course. Right. Haha. We’ll leave you two alone.” He didn’t make an effort to move so Young-Jae grabbed his arm and began to pull him away.
“Wait, wait!!! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH NEXT TIME YOU VISIT!!! PLEASE VISIT AGAIN!!! (Name)!!! This your chance!!!” Won-Shik screamed even as Young-Jae pulled him inside the complex.
You blushed in embarrassment, biting your lip as Noeul only laughed. He turned his attention over to you.
“Your Instagram posts are cute.” Noeul said. “I didn’t know if I was imagining it the first time but I’m glad I wasn’t. I missed talking to you.”
“Why.. Why did you lose contact with me?” You whispered.
Noeul frowned. “I’m sorry, Hyung. I didn’t want to. But I’ve been… I’ve been stalked for a while and my manager told me to change my number. But she didn’t allow me to get most of my contacts back that weren’t her and my parents. She said I couldn’t trust anyone since it was the beginning of my career. It’s always fragile in the beginning.”
“Are you still being stalked?”
“Not that I know of. I’m still advised to be careful.” He pulled out his phone and smiled. “But I wanted to get your number anyway. I wanted my hyung back.”
You stared at his phone before reaching over to grab it, putting in your number. A gummy smile pulled on his lips as he giggled, stepping closer to you.
“I’m taller than you now. You didn’t grow at all.”
You pouted. “Rude. Is that any way to talk to your hyung?”
“Mhm, maybe?”
Noeul and you broke into a fit of giggles. It was nice to see him again. Alive and well. You subconsciously flexed your right hand and groaned. Noeul frowned, leaning in closer as he caught sight of your hand.
“Hyung…! What happened? Are you okay?” He gently grasped your hand, bringing it close as he took in the damage. His finger almost threatened to accidentally rub against the wound but he stopped himself just in time.
“Ah.. I punched someone.”
“Punch..? Who?!”
“Hah, Kim Ye-Jun.”
“Kim… Kim Ye-Jun?! Black Rose’s Kim Ye-Jun?! What did he do to deserve that?”
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you another time.”
Noeul frowned but nodded his hand. “Okay. It’s getting late, I should go back before my manager notices I’m gone.”
“You didn’t tell her that you left? Song Noeul!”
“It’s okay. I’m only a twenty minute walk away from here.”
You glared at him, almost wanting to chastise him but decided against it. It almost felt like you never stopped talking to him. Noeul blinked, staring at you for a second before his eyes flickered down to your lips.
“You hurt your lip too..?”
His finger gently touched the scab on your bottom lip. It was from Ye-Jun. He really had bite your lip open. You watched Noeul as he frowned slightly. His gaze softened.
“You’re still so accident prone, Hyung.”
You stopped yourself from saying it was from the same man. Instead, you leaned closer into Noeul’s space. His body stiffen for a second and you almost stepped away until he took a stepped forward.
“I should get going.” He whispered.
“Mhm. Yeah, I need to get my wound dressed.”
It felt like time stopped as you pressed your body against his. Your eyes fluttered close as you leaned on your toes. You didn’t feel anything for a moment and almost believed you were reading too far into things when soft lips pressed against yours.
The kiss was slow. Almost like you both were scared that you were dreaming. Like a peck you’d give your first ever boyfriend. You didn’t want to deepen it. The pure feeling you got from Noeul was everything you wanted. No, needed.
You pulled away from the kiss and slowly opened your eyes. Noeul smiled as he rubbed at your cheek. You hadn’t even noticed that you were crying. After months of Kim Ye-Jun, a love you wished could be like it was before… Song Noeul felt safe.
But you didn’t want to use him. You couldn’t use him for your own selfish benefit. So you reluctantly pulled away. Noeul didn’t stop you, allowing you to slip from his hold.
“Sorry… I just…”
“It’s okay, Hyung.” Noeul smiled. “Y’know, it reminded me of our first ever kiss. I kissed you that day and you pulled away, apologizing right after.”
“Oh, yeah…”
“So I know that we’ll be okay. I’m don’t know what I feel for you, Hyung. I’m not sure if it’s nostalgia but I want you. I’ve liked you since that winter we met. I think I still like you. I haven’t been able to connect with anyone after you.”
“I… I feel the same. But I need to explain to you something before we can continue, okay? Just not tonight. I’m too tired.” You confessed, biting your lip.
Noeul hummed, seemingly understanding. “Okay. I’ll let you go up, Hyung. Talk to you soon.” He slipped on his cap and pulled up his mask, waving goodbye as he walked away. You watched him walk for a moment before going inside when you couldn’t see him anymore.
You were in the elevator when you got a text. You pulled out your phone and checked the message.
It was from Noeul.
It was just a picture—an older one. He looked shy in the picture, mostly looking at you who was holding the phone to do a selfie. Your grin was wide as you held up a peace sign. Noeul was following you as he held a makeshift peace sign that didn’t fully extend. It almost looked like he was doing air quotes.
A smile spread across your lips.
It felt nice to finally have someone calming in your life resurface.
Ice to cool you down from the fire that was Kim Ye-Jun.
But of course, you shouldn’t have gotten so comfortable.
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
↴
Uhm, dude. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m not Song Noeul? You got the wrong number
↴
Also, you’re fucking insane and can’t spell for shit
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
→ no way ㅋㅋㅋㅋ he’s gay??
→ shameless to be making out in public
→ wtf? I’ve been simping over a gay man??
→ gross ㅋㅋㅋ
→ ugh, waste of a man!!
→ I’m not sure why you girls are whining, not like you would’ve had a chance with him anyway ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
→ isn’t he in a recent drama with a kid???
→ poor kid ㅠㅠ we gotta get him out before he gets the kid
→ there’s literal rapists walking free in the film industry, but sure, homotron 3000 is the problem
→ uhm, why is no one weirded out that some of these pictures are taken in the privacy of Song Noeul’s home????!
→ is it just me or does it look like he has bruises on his body for a few of these pics?? Dispatch wtf?
→ he literally looks underaged in some of these pictures?? Why am I seeing a minors nudes?
→ it doesn’t matter that it’s pixilated, why are you showing this?! Guys we gotta report the post
→ Moon Taeil literally exists and yall seem more angry at a gay man??
→ I don’t care that he likes sucking dick, at least he can act
→ yall are so fucking funny. If Song Noeul dies because of this don’t pretend you care about celebrities mental health for a week before forgetting all about him
→ fucking gross, he probably makes Black Rose uncomfortable ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
→ he’s dating Love Countdown’s Cho (Name)???
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
@Dohyungotafatty (↑639 ↓248)
↳ damn, I was wrong. Cho (Name) isn’t dating Kim Ye-Jun ㅎㅎ
@junhoswhore (↑1264 ↓387)
↳ uh, isn’t this revenge porn?
@yukiiwukki (↑2763 ↓19)
↳ the person who sold the info to dispatch seem insane ㅋㅋㅋ why do we have to know about an actor’s love life?
@_loveandfear (↑635 ↓127)
↳ he’s literally a minor in some of the pictures, dispatch fucking delete these
@jaesflatass (↑3872 ↓498)
↳ I forgot homophobia existed ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
@lovewonshiik (↑835 ↓376)
↳ the cute guys are always gay… I hope Won-Shik is straight ㅠㅠ
@Dohyungotafatty (↑1972 ↓287)
↳ it’s not like you had a chance ㅋㅋ
@freakfundashi (↑532 ↓9)
↳ It doesn’t feel right to make a sex joke right now ㅠㅠ I hope Song Noeul is okay
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
Roha Hyung
↳ don’t check online. Don’t check your comments, please don’t. Take care of yourself.
Wonnie Hyung
↳ stay home, (Name). I’m coming with Manager Nayoung
Dohyunie Hyung
↳ I’m sorry this is happening to you, baby. Don’t leave your room. Jae and I are coming over, we’re just stuck in traffic
Jae Hyung
↳ it was him right?! I’m going to fucking kill him
↳ this better not have been Kim Ye-Jun I swear to god
Jun Jun Hyung
↳ (Name)… open the door please. I know you hear me. Please, I need to make sure you’re okay
Ki Ki Hyung
↳ don’t test me, (Name). I will unscrew the bolts of your door if you don’t open it now
Manager Choi Nayoung
↳ don’t you dare think we’re angry at you, Cho (Name). I’m sorry you were outed like this. I’m coming now to check on you. We’ll figure out how to deal with this and find out who sold the information to dispatch.
Kim “Son of a bitch” Ye-Jun
↳ Cho (Name). Stop looking at the comments. I know you are. It might hurt now but know those people aren’t even your fans.
↳ not even that, why do you care about the feelings of someone you’d never meet? Of someone who would be a coward to say it to you in person?
↳ it’s not my place but Noeul isn’t answering his phone… please check on him. I’m worried
My sunset
↳ Hyung
↳ it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have came to see you. I ruined you. Please don’t hate me. Please please. I’ll fix it. I’ll handle everything.
↳ I just need to confess. There’s no point in denying it. I’m just sorry you will have to learn about this in a public setting
↳ I’ll just tell you now. It was my ex boyfriend. But please… please don’t look at any more of the pictures. I don’t.. I don’t want you to see me like that.
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
Song Noeul’s shocking past; revealed by supposed ex lover!
Plus evidence of Love Countdown’s Cho (Name) and Song Noeul’s budding romance since 20XX!
Your eyes grazed over the post multiple times.
You just couldn’t be happy for a second could you? Now you dragged Noeul down with you when he was dealing with something arguably worse.
You could hear Junho and Yuki calling you from outside your door. You almost got up to open the door before Yuki kept his promise when your phone began ringing.
It was your mother.
Hehe, suddenly there’s a whole story line? This wasn’t supposed to be 16k words. If you noticed, Ye-Jun isn’t the only love interest anymore, get ready to learn more about Song Noeul in chapter 3 :) I’m finally giving threesomes a chance. Get used to porn with plot from me lol
Anyway thank @teyvat-writer for the idea for reader to punch Ye-Jun.
Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @chill-guy-but-cooler @mello-life25 @love-kha1 @star-3214 @terapung @flurrina @smellwell @iwishtobeacrow @rhetorical-conscience @mooncarvers-world @tehyunnie @remdayz @ofclyde @tomoeroi @cherry-blossoms-187 @kiiyoooo @glittervame
Translations:
❝ 날 그대로 받아들여, 너의 두려운 ❞ — accept me as I am, your fear
너무 예뻐서, 자기. — it’s pretty, Jagi
❝ 차가운 네 눈이 나를 삼켜 ❞ — your cold eyes swallow me
❝ 불안하게 만드는 거야 왜? ❞ — why are you making me anxious?
❝ 반대로 가고 있는 것 같아요 ❞ — it seems like I’m moving backwards
Songs used: Monster by EXO, beyOnd by OnlyOneOf’s Nine, and Not Mine by Day6
#bottom male reader#x male reader#sub male reader#uke male reader#male reader#oc x reader#mlm ns/fw#male bottom reader#original character
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Saw that requests were open, and maybe can you do this one? ⁄(⁄ ⁄ ⁄ω⁄ ⁄ ⁄)⁄
Request- A master manipulator yandere husband that’s been with his wifey (us) since childhood. That’s right, we childhood sweethearts <3 He lovingly molded us into a dependent stepford wifey, cause what’d we do without him? He’s always been there to protect, provide, and care for us since we were young, why stop now into adulthood?
Love to have this as HC format with some dash of dialogue if possible to show some of his personality!
Also I loved your latest CEO yandere, what’s his name? He’s a favorite of mine now. Love the ones that spoil you rotten and can’t live without you!
Yandere! Husband Hcs
Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’
A/N: Yandere! Ceo currently doesn’t have a name rn but don’t worry he will soon!!! Thank you so much enjoying him!!!
🌟 Yandere! Husband has been friends with you since you were children. From the moment you got out of the car and started to get your things out of the moving van, he was absolutely hooked. He practically rushed his little legs over and started to enthusiastically introduce himself to you and your family. He was honestly so thrilled to learn that you were the same age as him and going to be attending the same elementary school as him. When you first started attending school Yandere! Husband made sure to hold your hand no matter where you went. Whenever anyone asked he would say that he was only doing this to make you more comfortable (he’s doing this for his own enjoyment). This is a habit that stays even in your adult life. No matter where the two of you are, he is always holding your hand lovingly.
🌟 Yandere! Husband in elementary school used to get so upset whenever someone would try to approach you to play with them. Whenever someone did this he would always try to do petty little things to them such as trip them, tattle tale on every little thing they did, and sometimes get even a little physical. At the time he wasn’t exactly sure why he was feeling these awful emotions but what he was one hundred percent sure on was that he didn’t want anyone to take your attention off of him.
Random elementary student: “You can’t keep doing this! You’re acting like they’re yours! They can play with whoever they want, so stop acting like you own them!”
Yandere! Husband: “...” Coming to the realization that he loves hearing that. The idea of you being solely his causes his heart to beat even faster. “Mine, I like the sound of that.”
🌟 Yandere! Husband made sure to protect you from any bullies that ever tried to harm you. He wanted to be seen as a savior in your eyes and would brutally beat up anyone who tried to harm you. If he wasn’t physically strong enough to beat them then he would do everything in his power to frame them for something and get them expelled from school. He definitely has some sort of savior complex when it comes to you. Yandere! Husband made it a mission to be your first kiss when the two of you were going to graduate elementary and go into middle school. He wanted to be your first in everything and felt this was the first step into making you his. Your first kiss had been with him in his bedroom while you were over to play videogames.
Yandere! Husband: “Come on, this is the first step we gotta take in order to grow. Our first kiss has to be with someone special and you're the specialist person I know!”
Just like that, the two of you were leaning in and that was how Yandere! Husband successfully stole your first kiss.
🌟 Yandere! Husband was still stuck to your side even during puberty. It was during this time that he started getting attention from a lot of people due to his looks. He made sure to always ignore or reject them due to only having eyes for you. Yandere! Husband makes sure that your classes are all with him. Believe it or not but Yandere! Husband is extremely smart and a model student. He will make sure to point out how you are lacking academically therefore you need someone to tutor you (even if you don’t) to both teachers and the principal in order to be in the same classes as you. Yandere! Husband will make small and very subtle passive aggressive remarks about how you aren't that academically intelligent and that you need him by your side. At some point you start to believe this and believe that you need him to tutor you everyday in order to survive school.
Yandere! Husband: “It’s okay if you’re not good at anything. As long as you have me by your side, I’ll take care of you no matter what. Even if we’re old and wrinkly.”
🌟 Yandere! Husband has successfully isolated you from making friends by the time you two are in high school. You basically have no friends but him. This was mainly due to the fact that he would always try to outdo the person you were trying to befriend in order to make them seem boring. Having romantic feelings for anyone other than him was off limits. If you ever did have a crush on someone then Yandere! Husband would absolutely destroy them. He would make sure to spread the nastiest rumor about them and cause them so much shame that they would have to move away from your town in order to avoid further embarrassment. It’s probably around highschool that Yandere! Husband officially asks you out to be his lover. He makes sure to go all out while asking you out in order to make you feel special.
🌟 Yandere! Husband is proposing to you the moment the two of you graduate highschool. Don’t worry about funds, he’s a Nepo baby and will inherit his dad’s company. He definitely wants you to be his housespouse when he’s ready to go to college and work a job. He wants you to depend on him and hates the idea of you being independent without him. In order to make sure this never happens, he manipulates you into thinking that you can’t do anything without him and around. So why don't you sit still and look pretty for him when he gets home.
🌟 Yandere! Husband picks out everything when it’s time to get married. He’s a complete groomzilla and wants everything to be absolutely perfect. When he sees you in your wedding attire for the first time he definitely tears up a bit. You’re just so beautiful. Domestic life with Yandere! Husband is peaceful and calming. Yandere! Husband imagines you all the time while he is at work. When he drives home from work he likes to imagine how you would be waiting for him. Would you be waiting at the door for him or would you be asleep sprawled on the couch. He makes sure to always come home as fast as he can in order to wrap his arms around you. The sight coming home to you and a home cooked meal absolutely melts his heart. This is perfection to him and he’ll make sure to do everything in his power to protect it.
#yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere scenarios#yandere x darling#yandere x reader#male yandere#yandere oc#yandere husband
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Okay, how about we call Alfred dad??? Sense he raised us and practically is our dad. Sorry I keep on asking. I just am a thinker
series masterlist
a/n: don't be sorry for asking ! i like answering asks even if i do answer really slowly, so don't be afraid to send in questions ! this is a continuation to this ask.
it would actually be a given that if the reader wasn't too broken to the point that they genuinely could never consider anyone as a father figure, then alfred would be someone they would call their dad.
because at least in their 15 years they had been inside the manor, alfred would always be the one who would stand by their side. even if it's not always, he would be there for you when he could. and that effort alone is enough to consider him worthy as your father.
pre-yandere bruce wouldn't even know of your tight-knit relationship with alfred; calling him dad when you skip through the halls with him, calling him your "actual father" whenever you two would bake together, and even going as far as gifting him a mug with 'no. 1 dad!' painted sloppily into the ceramic. alfred would even teach you how to crochet, so you two would get matching sweaters for winter. although alfred wouldn't wear the sweater for the sake of formality, you would always be aware that he stores them somewhere safe and warm as some sort of treasure.
so, imagine just how heartbroken bruce would be once you are abducted by your family, calling out to your dad in your drugged state on your bed, bruce thinking that it was him that you're calling for help when all of a sudden, you make grabby-hands towards alfred, eyes hazily looking at the butler with such desperation that it feels like alfred is your actual father.
seeing you two act so close, bruce would be so, so conflicted. because at least, in the years of solitude you had spent, you find comfort in the very same man bruce considers as his father figure. but at the same time it should've been him that you call your father, it should've been bruce you look at for help and guidance, it should've been him that lulls you back to sleep, wiping the tears that run down your face.
it breaks his heart even further once he discovers all the little trinkets that you make for alfred, all the inside jokes you two share, the gifts you cherish in your cabinets from the apartment you used to live in; they were all from alfred— bruce wants to kick himself realizing that he never made an effort to gift you anything in your 15 years of living in the manor as a ghost.
bruce swears on his life that he'll make it up to you, that despite him being unable to stay the night frequently with you that he'll make it up during the day. he'll take you to business meetings, to arcades, to malls; literally anywhere to get you to bond with him as much as you did alfred.
he'll schedule holidays where the entire family is required to join and you'll be the center of attention. your birthdays will be extravagant, he would spend millions to make a show that you're his favorite child; that means he'll spoil you with gifts that pertain to your hobbies. and because your family loves you so much, please do expect a minimum of 10 gifts prepared by all your siblings and a credit card with no limit for bruce.
oh? you don't need material things? don't worry, you'll be surprised with just how meticulously your father would plan for vacations. any place you would choose would be taken into heavy consideration, even planning with him would feel like some sort of father-child bonding.
but really, he'll commit all his time and effort for you.
bruce would do everything to make you consider him as your dad.
#🍨... yael's talking#🧁... yael's misc.#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere bruce wayne#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#platonic yandere#not my best work but eh
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How They React to Your Death
My HCs about how I think the Genshin boys would react to your death. I wanted to write Kaeya too, but ran out of steam.
This month has been terrible to me, so I was in the mood for angst. I don't know how well these turned out, but they were fun to think about.
Part 2 here.
Characters: Alhaitham, Childe, Heizou, Kaveh, Lyney, Neuvillette, Venti, Wanderer/Scaramouche, and Wriothesley
WARNING:
Reader has death descriptions. Some are more graphic than others, but I don't get into the nitty gritty details.
Spoilers for the backstories of all the mentioned boys.
MAJOR SPOILERS for Act V of the Fontaine Archon quest in Neuvillette's part.
Childe's part contains mention of suicidal thoughts.
Kaveh's and Venti's parts contain alcoholism
🎧 Alhaitham
Despite Alhaitham’s considerable wealth, no amount of money could cure your Eleazar sickness. His money could only buy treatment that prolonged your life a little bit, but ultimately your many years of battling the illness ended when he got news from the doctors that you had passed away in your sleep.
Alhaitham had accepted the news fairly quickly. He knew your death was inevitable, could see you slowly wasting away each time he visited you in the hospital over the past few months. So it was no surprise to him when the day finally came. The other patients and staff thought it strange how Alhaitham had no visible reaction to the news, but some chalked it up to shock when in truth the Scribe was simply accepting of that fact. There was no use denying something that already happened.
When Alhaitham came home that day, the house felt silent and empty. It reminded him of how the house felt when his grandmother passed away when he was younger. The sensations were similar. However, he did not cry over your death. Instead, he carried on his life as normal, or as close to it as he could now that you were no longer a part of what he considered ‘normal’.
At first glance, people thought that Haitham was unaffected by your death. Nothing about him changed. Not his mannerisms, his quality of work, or his expression. He remained the same reserved, stoic Scribe who had no time for trivial nonsense or extra work. He also never talked about you to others aside from confirming their question if you were truly gone. Alhaitham was like a well-oiled machine that worked efficiently like clockwork, keeping up the same even rhythm.
What they don’t see is how he comes home with the expectation of hearing your voice greet him upon entering, only to be faced with a defeating silence that makes his heart sink. They don’t know that Alhaitham wakes up throughout the night, expecting to find you snuggled up next to him in bed the way you used to before your sickness got worse, and you had to be hospitalized. However, you weren’t there no matter how many times he looked towards your side of the bed, and the Scribe could only sigh and try to fall back asleep while ignoring his aching heart.
No one sees how Alhaitham gets too lost in his books in the mornings and accidentally makes two cups of coffee instead of one due to force of habit. Or how, for once, he finds the silence of his house bothersome without your voice and the sounds of your activities resounding within the walls, and it’s enough to distract him from reading. He could be found reading at the House of Daena and Puspa Café more often from then on.
During his afternoon naps, Alhaitham sneaks back home and cradles your favorite blanket to mimic the sensation of holding your soft body in his arms the way he used to when you joined him for naps. He listens to recordings of you talking with him just so he can hear your voice again. He was glad he made the decision to record your voice at the hospital before you became too weak to speak. It gave him the chance to hear you one more time even if the sound of your voice made his chest hurt so much that he occasionally had to stop the recording to collect himself.
Nobody sees how Alhaitham finally picks up the fiction books you recommended him because they were your favorite. He prefers non-fiction, but these books are the last things he has left through which he could connect to your mind and way of thinking. He reads them all cover-to-cover even if he finds the story lacking or the writing not to his taste. He will learn to treasure each and every word because you once did.
What someone might see, as Kaveh did when he moved in with the Scribe, is a bookshelf filled with a few journals, a thick book with an emerald cover, and an assortment of fiction books that exist nowhere else in the house. Alhaitham never talks about these books unless asked, but their well-worn covers are a sign of frequent use, and sure enough, one can catch him reading a rare fiction book during one specific month each year.
🐋 Childe
You went missing after going out to collect some firewood in the woods near Childe’s home. A search party was arranged to find you with Childe in the lead, and he was also the first one to find your remains. Your body had been torn apart, blood and innards splattered across the snow, no doubt the work of some rifthounds. Usually, Childe would relish in such a gory sight, but not this time. Not when it’s your blood and flesh painted in the snow.
The sight leaves him numb. He’s numb when the search party comes to retrieve you, numb when he sees your parents weeping over your gruesome death, and numb when he takes on the duty of exterminating every rifthound he finds around Morepesok.
He wants to cry too, to grieve for you the way he needs, but refrains. He doesn’t want to appear weak and unreliable when his younger siblings mourn and cry over your death. You were like family to them, and your death broke their little hearts to pieces. Childe didn’t want to burden his siblings further by breaking down in front of them. He needed to remain a reliable older brother who could support them through this tough time, even when his own heart bled and he cried in his sleep when he dreamed about you.
Childe’s underlings noted that the Eleventh Harbinger became colder and more irritable after your passing. Any mention of your name would garner the speaker a harsh glare, and if Childe assumed what said person said about you was disrespectful, he didn’t hesitate to start a fight and beat the other person within an inch of their life. He became violent and unhinged, much like how he used to be when he returned from the Abyss as a fourteen-year-old boy.
Childe knew his behavior was irrational, and it pained him to see even his own family fear him due to his violent actions. He felt restless. Spending time at home among your belongings summoned feelings of longing and sadness, but even so, he couldn’t bear to throw anything away. He lived among the ghosts of your existence, however, it drove him mad with grief.
Childe needed an outlet for his emotions, so he took to fighting monsters and other strong opponents. He became even more reckless in battle. If before, the Harbinger sought out strong enemies to test his mettle against them and grow stronger as a result, now he sought out an opponent that would be worthy of taking his life.
Childe didn’t want to abandon his family. He loved them dearly and wanted to see his siblings grow up to be happy and successful people, but life without you felt so hollow. A part of him wanted to return to his family, but the sense of his family feeling incomplete never left him. You were just as much of a family to him as his siblings and parents were. He had plans to start his own family with you. But now… now, a part of him yearns to reunite with you in the afterlife. He promised he would stay by your side no matter what, and Ajax is not one to break his promises.
🔍 Heizou
Heizou was one of the first to hear about your stabbing that occurred in an Inazuman alleyway late that evening. You were rushed to a doctor to have your wound treated, but the robber who attacked you hit a vital area. Your blood loss was colossal, and it wasn’t long after arriving at the doctor’s that you succumbed to your injury.
To Heizou, the news brought on a sense of deja vu. He’s already lost a friend to crime in the past, and now he lost you to crime, too. The knowledge made him furious and heartbroken. He was angry at the robber for stabbing you just so he could steal some money that you didn’t want to part with, and he was angry at himself for failing to prevent this. After his friend passed away, Heizou swore to nip crime in the bud by discouraging criminals from committing crimes with the threat that he would find and capture them no matter what without fail. But what good did his resolve do if you still died because of an armed robber?
The heartache and guilt he felt ate away at him as the memory of your ashen face during your last few moments haunted him. He lost you. Never again would he get to spend time with you and make you laugh, kiss and hug you, or tell you he loved you.
His anger drove him to capture the murderer in record time, but hearing the criminal’s subsequent sentence for theft and murder didn’t comfort the detective. No amount of jail time would ever atone for the loss of your life.
After that day, Heizou lost his playful demeanor, becoming somber and reserved. He threw himself into his work, feeling pressured to capture as many criminals as he could in as little time as possible. However, his grief and exhaustion caused his mind to dull and make mistakes while investigating clues. It got to the point where Kujou Sara had to forcibly send him on vacation so he could take a break and properly process your death.
Despite his protests, Heizou knew he wasn’t much use in his current state, so he took this free time to visit your family and mourn together with them. He apologized for not doing a better job of protecting you, fully expecting your parents to lay blame on him for not protecting their child. To his surprise, your parents didn’t blame him at all. They even thanked him for catching the murderer and helping them to feel a little more at peace. Heizou’s interaction with your family helped him feel a tiny bit less guilty about your death.
The experience left him feeling a little less broken, so in the following days he sorted through your belongings in your shared home. He packed away some items to return to your parents, some things he put in storage, and others he gave away that he remembered you wanting to get rid of. A few of your items he kept for himself, one of which was a scarf you mentioned you bought because it was the same shade of green as his eyes which reminded you of him.
Heizou wore your scarf as a keepsake and good luck charm and would hardly be seen without it when he finally came back to work. What once served as your reminder of him, now served as his reminder of you, the person he loved with his whole being. But with the memories of you came the reminder of how you died. Though the memory was painful, it helped Heizou work up the will to keep pursuing his goal of eradicating crime. Even when the case was extremely tough with conflicting clues, your scarf would remind him to not give up, to not let another incident like yours happen again, and Heizou would persevere. He would continue to persevere no matter how long it took because he didn’t want innocent lives like yours to be snatched away so cruelly. Maybe one day, he will see you in the afterlife and proudly tell you all about how he achieved his dream. Until then, he will work hard to be worthy of the title of Inazuma’s best detective.
🍷 Kaveh
Kaveh had a lot of work to do. He was saddled with creating drafts for another large project while also trying to work on the commission for constructing a library in Aaru village for the children. Wanting to help alleviate his burden, you offered to take the finished drafts over to Aaru village yourself so he could focus on finishing up work for his other project. Kaveh tried to object, saying you really didn’t need to trouble yourself on his behalf, but you insisted, expressing your desire to help him finish his work sooner so the two of you could spend more time together again. After some deliberation, he let you go to the village by yourself, confident that you could make the trip since you accompanied him there several times before.
A few days later, Kaveh received news that you had died on your return trip from the desert. When he heard the cause of your death, his stomach roiled. You perished in quicksand just like his father. You died doing something for his sake, just like his father did.
Whatever future plans he was building together with you, whatever progress you made in helping him slowly heal from his trauma, it all came crashing down around him. Your death reopened old wounds Kaveh was only starting to heal from, as well as left new scars that tormented him every waking moment.
The first few weeks, Kaveh couldn’t stand to be in your shared home. It was full of memories of you, and each and every one of your belongings would stab at his heart like a blade. Moreover, the house felt so silent without you around. It reminded him of when his mother left for Fontaine, leaving him alone in a house too big for only him to live in. Now, he was reliving that moment all over again, but it was worse this time because, unlike his mother, he would never see you again.
Kaveh also couldn’t stand to look inside his sketchbooks. The pages were covered in various sketches of you, and looking at them only made the anguish and guilt grow in him tenfold. He blamed himself for your death, attributing it to being his fault just like he attributes his father’s death as his fault too. No matter what anyone says to console him, he will never stop believing it’s all his fault.
Fueled by guilt and self-loathing, Kaveh spent several weeks visiting Lambad’s tavern practically every day. One could even say he lived there since the architect seldom went home. He used what little money he had to buy alcohol, especially of the stronger kind. He wanted to numb the pain in his heart and to pretend that you weren’t really gone from this world. The alcohol helped to muddle his mind until his intoxicated brain conjured happy memories of you together, and Kaveh would mumble your name in a drunken haze. Other times it didn’t help, and Alhaitham, Cyno, or Tighnari could often find a drunk Kaveh quietly crying while slumped over a table and trying their best to drag him home while listening to his drunken babble of self-loathing and regret.
It will take a long time for Kaveh to feel okay again, and even then, he will never be the same optimistic and cheerful person he used to be. You were his muse, the one who made him feel like maybe he was deserving of love after all. But with you gone, he lost his creative spark. His designs no longer held the same extravagant and artistic flair they used to. Now, they’re more tame by comparison. With your passing, you took with you the little bit of joy he felt towards the world, and it seemed more bleak than it used to be when he was with you.
Kaveh refused to seek out love after your death. He’s lost too many people he held dear and has been left alone over and over again. The pain of being left behind and of feeling like he will only bring misfortune to those he cares about, made him seal off his heart. He doesn’t want to let people close to him like that again, and neither does he want to replace you. You were, and still are, very special to him.
Despite numerous years going by after your passing, Kaveh never forgot you, and he didn’t want your memory to be forgotten either. He built an art school and dedicated it to you in honor of being the one who inspired him so much in his creative endeavors. He hopes that your name will live on and continue to inspire future generations of artists long after he is gone from the world.
🎩 Lyney Having grown up in the House of the Hearth with Lyney and Lynette, the twins were practically like family to you. Though admittedly, Lyney and you developed romantic ties rather than familial ones the more you got to know each other. It was no surprise to anyone when the two of you became a couple, and Lynette even encouraged it.
Being a member of the Fatui, you were often sent out on dangerous missions to infiltrate enemy territory and report your findings back to Arlecchino. You were good at your job and had major successfully completed missions under your belt, but even the best slip up sometimes. After infiltrating enemy headquarters, you regularly reported your findings back to the House, however, one day the correspondence stopped. You went completely silent. The thought of you being caught immediately crossed Lyney’s mind, but he was hopeful that as an experienced agent, you would manage to find a way out somehow. You always have in the past, and after having worked together with you during joint missions, he saw first-hand how capable you were. To pass the time, he focused on polishing a magic trick he wanted to show you upon your return.
Days go by, and just as the magician is about to lose his patience and run off to try and find you, news about your body washing up on a riverbank reaches his ears. The heartbreak Lyney experiences upon hearing the news is indescribable. He felt lost, disoriented, and anguished. A part of him refused to believe the facts, but after witnessing the gruesome sight of your corpse, he had no choice but to face reality.
You were dead.
Lyney wondered at length about the cause of your death, and while his own guesses made his stomach knot, the autopsy report he read a few days later made him livid. Numerous torture and abuse marks were found on your body. It seemed that the enemy had captured and tortured you, hoping to force you to spill some of the Fatui’s secrets. Judging by the severity of the most recent wounds, you must have kept quiet because more brutal torture methods were used on you until the enemy figured out they wouldn’t get anything out of you, and disposed of you. Lyney knew how loyal you were to your family. You would never betray them even at the cost of your own life, but in that moment, he really wished you would have treasured your life more. Maybe then you could have survived. Maybe then he would have had the chance to hold you in his arms and tell you he missed you while you were gone. Maybe he would have had an opportunity to show off the magic trick he created specifically for your eyes only. But now, he’ll continue to miss you until the day death comes for him too. Lyney’s initial reaction upon hearing of your torture is overwhelming fury. Lynette had to hold him back from recklessly running off to take revenge against the enemy. It took a lot of reasoning on her part, but eventually, her brother calmed down.
Once his bout of anger passed, Lyney broke down. Lynette didn’t hide her own tears as she held her brother in her arms while he cried. The siblings both missed you dearly and mourned your loss, but Lyney took your death especially hard. He felt broken. One of his most precious people was taken from him in such a cruel manner, and the mere thought of how you must have spent your last few waking hours made him feel horrible.
He was anguished and angry, and the potent concoction of negative emotions weighed down on his heart and mind. Gone was his cheerful smile and outgoing attitude, replaced with a cold and somber frown. His calculative side took center stage. Though his initial burst of outrage passed, he wouldn’t give up on his desire for revenge until the act had been carried out. Aside from the twins, Arlecchino also refused to take your death lying down. You were her precious child, someone she put in a lot of love and effort to raise, and this transgression angered her as much as it angered Lyney. Together with Arlecchino, Lyney and Lynette infiltrate enemy headquarters and make every person a part of that organization pay. The magician ensures that the perpetrators experience the same pain you went through during your torture, and by the time they’re done, not a soul is left alive.
Even after exacting revenge, Lyney barely feels a smidge better. Though your captors have been neutralized and won’t hurt anyone the way they hurt you ever again, it doesn’t satisfy Lyney. At the end of the day, all he wants is to have you back in his life. He consoles himself with pieces of your clothing. Your clothes smelled like you, and Lyney hugged one of your items every night, breathing in your scent and soaking the material with his tears as he quietly cried. It takes a long time for Lyney to get himself together and act like himself again. Though he could easily put on a fake smile for his audience, his heart still aches inside. He misses you no matter how many months go by, and Lynette has her hands full comforting him when he breaks down at night and cries about how much he wants to see you. Lyney would have had an easier time accepting your death if you had passed away more peacefully, but knowing you were tortured to death will forever haunt him.
Once he feels more like himself, Lyney incorporates the magic trick he originally wanted to show you upon your return into his magic shows. He only performs it during special occasions so it would leave a great spectacle upon his audience. It was once made to awe you, but now it awes his audience, and a part of him feels some semblance of catharsis in knowing he could inspire others to feel the same joy you made him feel using just this trick. At times like these, Lyney feels as if a part of you was still there with him, enjoying the show he secretly dedicates in your honor.
⚖️ Neuvillette
You were visiting your friend Navia in Poisson, when the Primordial Sea flooded the area and caused a great catastrophe that took the lives of many of its residents. Neuvillette was aware you were in Poisson when the disaster struck, and he tried to get there as quickly as he could to check on you. He would have arrived there immediately were it not for the pressing matters he had to settle prior. He hoped the Traveler and Paimon would find you and keep you safe since they knew you were the Iudex’s beloved.
When he finally made it to Poisson, to his morbid surprise, he found neither you nor Navia, but some Fatui members helping to mitigate the damage. When he asked about your whereabouts, he was told that nobody had seen you. Immediately, his thoughts ventured to the worst scenario, but he refused to believe in his fears until he could get confirmation. He held out hope that you were alright, and went in pursuit of Navia and the Traveler, hoping that maybe you were with them, or they knew what happened to you.
It wasn’t until he was saving Navia from getting dissolved in the Primordial Sea water, did he catch a glimpse of your face. You were trying to protect Navia from certain death, along with Silver and Meluse. At the time he was too anxious about saving Navia to fully register the implication, but an unsettling thought sprang in his mind that maybe you really were— No, he didn’t want to accept it.
When Navia regained consciousness, Neuvillette asked her about your whereabouts. Her answer pierced through him like an ice-cold lance. With tears in her eyes, Navia recounted how you were helping Silver and Meluse rescue the residents of Poisson when the Primordial Sea flooded in, and how she saw your body dissolve in the water along with her loyal subordinates with her own eyes. The news settled in Neuvillette’s stomach like a boulder, causing it to sink and make him feel nauseous. Dread filled him, but he could only muster a quiet “I see…” and stare off into the distance. He felt crushing sadness, but he wasn’t given time to properly process his emotions and your death until he managed to make it out of the ruins.
That evening, Fontaine was hit by a torrential downpour that lasted several days. The rain fell in heavy sheets, flooding the streets and urging most of the citizens to seek shelter in their homes. Only the Chief Justice had the gall to stand outside and let the rain seep and soak through his clothes.
Neuvillette let the water droplets cascade down his face, imitating the tears he wished to shed as the realization that he would never see you again settled in. It was strange. Though he was on land, each waking moment he was pursued by a constant feeling of drowning. His chest felt heavy as if burdened by a great weight that made each breath he took feel like a herculean task.
Neuvillette felt a lot of emotions he couldn’t find the words for. He was frustrated and angry that innocent civilians had died in the flood because nothing was done to prevent it. So many people died. You died. If nothing else, he wanted to get justice for your and the others’ deaths.
However, Furina refused to provide answers to his questions despite his probing and insistence that now was not the time to keep secrets that could potentially help prevent an even greater catastrophe. That was when he turned to seeking aid from his companions, in the hopes that Fontaine could still be saved. Neuvillette lost and gained many things in those few days. The citizens of Fontaine were freed of their curse, and Neuvillette had obtained a position of complete authority, however, it all came at the cost of the lives of innocent civilians, Focalors’s life, Furina’s mental state, and… your life. Those were great prices to pay, and Neuvillette mourned each and every sacrifice.
Now that he had some time to himself to process his feelings, Neuvillette recognized that what he felt was grief and longing. He wanted to see you at least one more time, to feel you in his arms again. To have you taken from him so suddenly was too painful. He never got to tell you one last ‘I love you’, and he could only hope that his words reach you wherever your consciousness might be now. Fontaine will see frequent rainfall in the coming months. It won’t be easy for Neuvillette to get over your death, and some part of him will always ache and yearn to see you again. But one thing he can do is strengthen his resolve to make Fontaine into a nation that both you and Focalors would be proud of. A nation where tragedies like these will never happen again.
🍃 Venti
Venti liked to climb up on high places like his statue in front of the Favonius church, the rooftop of the Cat’s Tail, or the great tree at Windrise. Today, you found him high up in the tree, absentmindedly strumming a new tune on his lyre. Wanting to surprise the bard, you tried your best to climb the tree as quietly as you could, but right as you were about to pop up and surprise him, the branch you were on snapped, and with a heart-stopping shriek, you plummeted down to the ground.
Your scream alerted Venti. He felt your presence before you even started climbing the tree, but he failed to foresee the danger until it was too late. He didn’t react fast enough to summon a gust of wind to safely lower you down. The sickening crunch of your skull hitting the ground made his stomach roil, and for a brief moment he felt as if the blood in his veins turned to ice. He felt frozen in place.
Snapping out of his momentary stupor, Venti rushed to your side to check on you, but the enormous pool of blood blooming around your lifeless body made him throw up.
Not again. He lost someone he loved once more. The painful emotions of losing you triggered a cascade of memories of seeing the broken body of that one boy he called a friend thousands of years ago. The same boy whose face he now wore as a way of honoring his memory and giving him an opportunity to live out his dreams of freedom through Venti.
Venti felt that same feeling of heavy emptiness once again as he cradled your lifeless body in his arms, your blood smearing the white sleeves of his shirt. One of the bard’s hands cradled your still-warm cheek, and he wept. To have you taken away so easily through such a small accident… it was too much.
Venti didn’t attend your funeral. He couldn’t bear to. However, he forced himself to watch from a distance as your loved ones gathered around your grave. He fully empathized with their grief.
In the following days, one could often find Venti at a tavern. He started with Angel’s Share, but after consecutive days of heavy drinking and drunken ramblings about how remorseful he felt and how you deserved better, Diluc put a stop to Venti’s visits. The Anemo Archon wasn’t getting any better from drinking himself into a stupor until he could barely hold himself upright. It was heartbreaking to see.
Even after being banned from the Angel’s Share, Venti would visit other taverns in the city and rinse and repeat. He so badly wanted to numb the pain in his heart and forget the awful memory of your lifeless body. Only after several bans did Venti finally stop coming to the city altogether. He disappeared for a while, and nobody was able to find him. Only after many weeks did the bard suddenly pop up in the town square with his lyre in hand.
During his absence, Venti wrote a few songs as a way to cope with his grief, and after a while, finally felt well enough to play them. As a bard, he was well-known in Mondstadt for playing cheerful and beautiful tunes, but this time his melodies were melancholic, even sad. They listened to him sing about a love he can no longer say ‘I love you’ to anymore, someone he can no longer forge new memories with and can only carry on in his heart as a memory. The music he played captured the attention of every member of the audience and touched their hearts so deeply that they, too, could feel the sorrow the bard was trying to convey through his melodies. His pain became their pain, too. The heartache was so profound, so raw and crippling, that many people couldn’t hold back from crying.
Venti wasn’t playing the songs to earn money or share his sadness with others. He was playing them for you. He hoped that his feelings would reach you wherever you were and that your memory wouldn’t fade away even if he remained the last person alive who knew of your existence. His songs will keep your memory alive in the hearts of the Mondstadt citizens, never to be forgotten.
☂️ Wanderer
You have been fighting chronic sickness for months, but despite the treatments, each week you seemed to get worse and worse. Neither the doctors of Sumeru nor even Nahida herself could figure out a cure for your condition. You were bedridden with barely any strength to move. Wanderer took responsibility for nursing you back to health by helping you get to places you needed, cooking all your meals and feeding you, as well as getting your medicine and administering it.
Despite his efforts, you could tell you wouldn’t last long. While you still had the strength to talk, you apologized to him for being forced to part from him.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed, with a frown pulling at his lips. “Rather than talk about such nonsense, use that energy to get better instead.”
He didn’t want to face the facts, to accept the reality that you could disappear from his life. But then came a day where you no longer opened your eyes when he called your name, nor stirred when he tried to shake you awake. Your body was cold and stiff and so unlike what he was used to seeing you as. The life you possessed was gone in all senses of the word.
Something in Wanderer snapped that day. Falling to his knees, he let out a guttural scream that tore at his vocal cords. He unleashed a wail that carried all the anguish and misery he’d been keeping bottled up inside for hundreds of years. He’s lost so many people he cared for in the past. Each time he met someone he grew attached to, fate would always tear them away from him, and you were no exception.
He cried bitter tears in the privacy of your shared home, cursing Fate for doing this to him over and over again. He was angry and heartbroken. Though he lacked a real heart, the sensation in his chest felt like something inside him broke into a million tiny fragments. As if sharp needles pierced through his non-existent heart and caused him to scream until he lost his voice.
He wanted revenge, but how can one get vengeance against Fate itself?
You were gone, so cruelly torn away from his side despite his best efforts to keep you alive. You were the little ray of light that never gave up on him no matter how cold he was towards you or how much he pushed you away, and helped him heal little by little. You accepted him in his entirety and wormed your way into his non-existent heart, so how dare Fate mock him like this? Wanderer truly felt as if Fate was purposely torturing him by taking away all those whom he held dear.
Helpless and anguished, Wanderer reverted to the days when he used to be Scaramouche, the sixth of the Fatui Harbingers who was infamous for his callousness and mercilessness. His roiling emotions spurred him to repeat these spiteful acts against anyone who got in his way. It was the only way he knew of how to vent these overwhelming emotions that made him feel like he was choking on his grief.
It took Nahida’s interference to calm him down and get through to him that you wouldn’t want him to be like this. The Wanderer you fell in love with wasn’t such a hateful person driven by negative emotions, and though he was loathe to admit it, the God of Wisdom was right.
Having quelled the initial burst of wounded anger, Wanderer would think more clearly about what he should do from now on. He could keep all your items, photographs, and letters, but they would never replace you, only help preserve some of the memories attached to them, which a puppet like him had no need for. He won’t forget even the smallest thing about you, not as long as he’s alive.
Wanderer becomes a regular visitor of your grave, taking care of it so your name won’t be erased from the gravestone by time too quickly. He would frequently bring your favorite foods and flowers and place them in front of your grave, before taking a seat next to it and staring off into the distance without saying a word. He did this mostly at night so he could stargaze, just like how you both used to when you were alive.
Even centuries later, when everyone who knew you took their memories of you to their graves, Wanderer will remain to watch over your final resting place, unwavering in his devotion.
🐺 Wriothesley
You accompanied Wriothesley on another one of his swims out in the open waters surrounding the Fortress. Since you weren’t a vision holder, you had to wear a diving suit to breathe, unlike your beloved Duke. You’ve had these private little swim dates a few times before, so your guard was down when you swam through some jagged areas of the Fortress’s scaffolding. The shoulder of your diving suit caught on a sharp edge of metal and tore a hole in it. The tear was fairly large, and you panicked when you felt water rush inside your suit. Wriothesley was quick to freeze the hole and pull you up to the surface to get the suit off of you, but by the time he did, it was too late. You had inhaled too much water and were unresponsive. Wriothesley tried to keep his anxiety at bay and utilized all the CPR knowledge he learned from Sigewinne to try and save your life. He breathed air into your lungs and did chest compressions with enough force to hear your ribs crack, but even after 30 agonizing minutes of trying, you wouldn’t wake up.
Wriothesley had no choice but to accept the fact you died. Wriothesley doesn’t cry for you. He’s no stranger to death. His exposure to it in his younger years made him all too aware of how easy it is to die, and that death came for all without exception. As a result, he was able to accept your death a little easier than most, but it doesn’t mean he made peace with it. The staff and inmates at the Fortress all said Wriothesley looked the same as usual even after your death. He kept up his laidback yet intimidating demeanor and busied himself with the variety of work someone in his position was required to take care of. Only Sigewinne could tell that Wriothesley was not alright despite all the strained smiles he gave everyone. The bags under his eyes grew more prominent by the day, a clear indicator he wasn’t sleeping well. She saw how he threw himself into his work, barely taking any time to rest properly, as if wanting to keep his mind busy from the horrible memory of seeing your corpse. Though he tried to mask it, in truth, your death affected Wriothesley deeply. He had frequent nightmares about watching you drown and being unable to save you, and they would keep him up at night. He usually awoke in a cold sweat, his heart pounding from intense panic and dread until his mind cleared, only to be replaced with a stone-cold reality that made the feelings of guilt come rushing back. Out of habit, he turns to your side of the bed to seek comfort in your presence but seeing it cold and empty served as yet another harsh reminder that you were gone. Wriothesley can’t sleep after his nightmares, so he opts to work out or fuss over his gauntlets to distract himself from his feelings. It takes all his self-control to keep a lid on his emotions and not become the angry, irritable mess he knows he will be if he’s not careful.
When he makes tea, Wriothesley accidentally makes two cups out of habit. One for you and one for him. Even weeks after your passing, it was still a difficult habit to break. For the first while, Wriothesley would even stop drinking your favorite tea blend because it reminded him of you. Rather than enjoy the flavor, all he tastes is bile in his throat. The flavor of your favorite tea makes him nauseous because it makes him think about how you will never taste this again or have another tea date in his office.
There was one occasion when he tried to drink your tea shortly after your death. He thought maybe the flavor would remind him of the happy times he shared with you, but all it resulted in was a broken teacup from the force of his grip, and Sigewinne fussing over his cuts and burns. He didn’t drink your favorite blend for a long time after that, only being able to find enjoyment in it again many years later when the startlingly clear memory of your death didn’t hurt him as much. Wriothesley felt lonely without you. You were the friend and confidant he told his deepest and darkest secrets about his past, the comfort he sought after a difficult day, and the soothing presence that made him feel accepted for who he was without all the embellished titles. But after your passing, the Fortress of Meropide seemed cold and gloomy, as if devoid of the warmth it once had that made him call it home. It was as if your death snuffed out the little ray of warm sunshine he felt when spending time with you.
#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#alhaitham x reader#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#heizou x reader#shikanoin heizou x reader#heizou shikanoin x reader#kaveh x reader#lyney x reader#neuvillette x reader#venti x reader#wanderer x reader#scaramouche x reader#kunikuzushi x reader#wriothesley x reader#For some reason Lyney's part is the longest
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❝ the duke’s proposal ❞ w. satoru gojo 𝜗𝜚.
BRIDGERTON AU⌇
• — dearest gentle readers. the time has come for us to place our bets for the upcoming social season! marriage-minded mamas must consider the oldest of the gojo’s family thrilled to conquer hearts with his wits and undeniable charm. having officially announced his wish to find a bride, we certainly hope to see the young rake, on the dance floor, turn the tides and find a wife after much seasons of avoiding his duty. may the best lady win! • — a/n. i know @grumpchua asked for this and i believe it will feed some of y’all, so here’s the food <3
.nsfw.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who you’ve known ever since your debut and has been a inconvenience in your life for quite a while. like a tick biting into your flesh, only bringing trouble and worry for yourself. truth is, the duke loved pestering you about failed courting attempts or clumsy men coming to steal your hand, only to fall with them into a life of misery and depths. you undoubtedly did not attract the smartest and wealthiest of them all and satoru took advantage of this unwanted success.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who’s audacious. far from being a gentleman. the cockiest of all rakes. you did not only despise the man, you thought he was without honour, unromantic and arrogant. lord satoru was, in fact, everything you thought he was, but loved to show you personally every single one of his flaws.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who, despite your best efforts, thought no better but to follow you around at every ball and "unexpectedly" bump into you at the market or when you walked out of the modiste. lord gojo was high in the instep, purposely shoving his strength of character and title in unfortunate suitors’ faces every time they deemed to approach you. needless to say, he took pleasure in crushing your chances of ever securing a proposal.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who has never really shown any interest in you, before. he would rather amuse himself by courting pretty debutantes only to leave them hanging and being chased by the impatient mamas of the ton. that was until his status caught up to him and forced the man to consider a serious marriage proposal. unfortunately for you, an idea blossomed into the young rake’s mind when he realized his need to find a bride was more urgent than he hoped to be.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who, one evening, during a tranquil promenade, abruptly stops and steals you from your mama, offering his hand for you to finish your walk beside him. he obviously had a plan and it involved the lady that despised him the most in this entire ton: you— and who would be better than you to not catch feelings and be able to execute his plan perfectly?
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who proposes an alliance. knowing you only attract the worst suitors possible, he assures you that more eligible men will throw themselves at your feet when they see the famous duke gojo court you. he swears it’ll only be temporary until he can find a suitable bride of his own without hundreds of ladies begging for his attention when you’re wrapped around his arm. you’ll be found desirable and he’ll have the peace he desires. what could possibly go wrong?
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who, for the first days, tries harder than any other years you’ve known him. the first day, your carriage’s waiting downstairs to meet him in the parc. he’s holding your umbrella above your head the whole time and acting like quite the gentleman, for once. he laughs with you, readjusts your hair and takes care of every single one of your needs. this masquerade goes on for two weeks where, each day, he surprises you with gorgeous flowers, kind gestures and words you would’ve never thought to hear. until one night, it’s an invite to his mansion that’s waiting for you, which you accept thinking it’ll just be another public appearance with him by your side. oh, but you couldn’t have been more wrong.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who welcomes you in his home, one gentle hand resting against the back of your corset to escort you to the ballroom where people were gathered and seemed to be enjoying their evening. everything would’ve seemed in order if not for the many men eyeing you from across the room. it seemed odd now, considering you hadn’t had this kind of attention for weeks, but it also seemed like satoru’s plan had worked and you couldn’t be more satisfied.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who listens to you converse with one of the gentlemen who had introduced himself to you. he seemed kind, polite, educated and of high status, which couldn’t have been more perfect if it hadn’t been for the duke terminating the conversation with a harsh remark and by guiding you to the dance floor without even writing his name on the card around your wrist. he had lost his temper in a matter of seconds and you were more than surprised by his lack of manners.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who tries to convince you to play along but you know this is entirely about something else. his grip around your waist and hand has never been so tight. he’s pulling you closer until his breath tickles your face and his words are whispers when he reminds you that your deal isn’t over and you’ll have to wait until you are allowed to let yourself be courted by other men. you try to respond but he spins you around gracefully. his fingers trail your column when he catches you and before you know it, you’re dancing with him and no one else is in the room.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo whose deep gaze startles you. he hasn’t left your eyes and does not plan to until he gets a proper response from you. satoru’s piercing blue eyes linger on your lips with a cocky smirk and you don’t know why your heart is beating so fast. he had never shown this facet of his before and it made your chest flutter. would he have preferred your attention was entirely on him, this evening, and not on the handsome suitor that had caught yours? no. you hated him. he was tricking you to make it seem real.. right?
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo whose tension is enough to fill the room with curious whispers surrounding your odd pair. you two made it seem like you had shared more than simple dinners and promises. in front of everyone, you looked used to being so intimate with satoru, but you were trembling in your shoes when he leaned forward, grazing his lips against your ear to try and make you understand that he wouldn’t allow any suitors to approach you just yet.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who pulls you away from the crowd, stealing you away to his bedchamber in front of indiscreet pairs of eyes. he seems more impatient than ever when his instinct takes over and, god, your innocence has an unexpected hold on him. you question satoru with incomprehension in your eyes until he finally closes the door to answer you.
₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who skillfully shows you everything you’ve been missing and every little sinful activity he’s been partaking in with innocent debutantes such as yourself. only this time, he means it. his hands touch every sensitive spot, his lips cover yours and trail down to your exposed chest. his fingers slipped under your dress, letting him discover your body with your help as you take him in, whining at his insensitive touch.
you’ll never know, that night, if duke satoru gojo meant to lose his mind over you in front of everyone else for his scheme and personal gain or if it had been purely accidental and you had just mesmerized the rake in a matter of weeks to the point where he couldn’t think about anything else but to have you in his bed for the rest of his life.
© shegetsburned 2024 please do not repost/edit/or claim my writing as your own.
#—﹙🎐﹚𑣲 by yours truly﹒#gojo x reader#gojo smut#jjk smut#jjk#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo x you#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#satoru x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo x you#jjk satoru#bridgerton#bridgerton au#regency au
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Bad Idea, Right?
summary: A night of drinking with your friends lands you at your ex boyfriend’s apartment — which is ultimately a bad idea.
pairing: Modern!Aemond x Ex girlfriend!Reader
word count: 3k
warnings: Explicit smut, alcohol consumption, angst, brief mention of drug use, language, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, p in v sex, creampie, Aemond is a fuckboy. 18+ MDNI
note: idk how I feel about this but Modern!Aemond is my weakness, and the grwm of Ewan ruined my life. Feedback is appreciated! Feel free to send me requests!
If someone were to ask you your own personal example of girlhood your answer would be simple: getting ready for a night out with your girlfriends. While going out and partying with your friends was fun, you considered the act of getting ready together art in itself.
It was tradition, a ritual. Filled with laughter, inside jokes, excitement, and anticipation.
Glitter, hairspray, memories. It was your time to bond and let go of everyday stress.
And that’s where you found yourself right now: sat in front of your best friend’s vanity, large curlers in your hair. The sweet smell of vanilla coming from Rhaena’s birthday cake scented candle filling the room.
Six months had passed since your breakup with Aemond and the twins had declared that you had spent more than enough time moping. It was time to get you back out in the world.
“I’m so happy that us girls are going out tonight,” Baela said as she finished up applying her mascara.
You involuntarily scoffed at her comment.
“What?” She questioned, glaring at you.
“It’s not like it’s just us,” you say matter of factly.
“Oh, come on! You know Jace is basically one of us!”
She wasn’t wrong. If you had to pick a guy to be in your friend group, it would be Jace Velaryon. He was easy to talk to, kind, considerate. A breath of fresh air from what you were used to. You understood why Baela was into him. Plus, he donned a beautiful set of chocolate colored curls matched with an adorable, toothy, grin.
“Do not beat around the bush, Bae!” You admonished, “I know Cregan will be there too.”
Cregan Stark was Jace’s best friend. A rugged guy from the North. He had a thick beard and piercing gray-blue eyes. He had quiet confidence, basically a big teddy bear. There was no denying he was rather handsome. It’s not that you would be opposed to sleeping with him, per say, you just weren’t sure if you were ready yet; although Baela begged to differ.
Once the three of you were all ready to go and the Uber was on it’s way, Baela pulled you to the side.
“Look,” she began, holding each of your hands in hers, “I know you're nervous. You’ve been through a lot and it can be hard to put yourself back out there — but you deserve this. Aemond’s out living his life, you have to live yours! It’s going to be fine! You look incredible, we are going to have a great time.”
Baela, as usual, was right. You were enjoying yourself. You were now on your third drink, tapping your finger nails on the glass as you half heartedly listened to Cregan tell an embarrassing story about Jace from when the two of them were in high school when you felt your phone vibrate.
A text from an unknown number flashed against your screen, paying no mind to it you opened it immediately. Your stomach dropped.
Hey… it’s Aemond.
You swore that men had some kind of radar that would let them know when a woman was finally happy without them. When that radar went off, only then was it that they decided to try to contact you again. Not during the months where your heart was left in ruin, not when you would do anything for answers. Only once you were healing, on the brink of reaching that light at the end of the tunnel; they weaseled their way into your life once more to ruin everything — and Aemond was right on schedule.
It had been months since he last contacted you, you felt as though your stomach was gonna fall out, your nervous system in a frenzy.
You could not let him ruin your fun.
“Let’s take a shot of something,” you suggested.
And then your phone buzzed again.
I know it’s been awhile, but I wanted to see how you’re doing?
Been awhile? That’s the understatement of the year. He didn’t care how you were doing when he broke up with you over a text. He didn’t care when the rumor of him sleeping with a professor spread around campus, humiliating you.
Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.
Relief washed over you once you saw Baela return with 5 shots of Tequila in hand.
“Heard this makes your clothes come off,” she said as she handed you the shot glass, shooting a wink over to Cregan. You downed the shot quickly, ignoring her comment. The liquid burned down your throat as it settled into your stomach.
Slamming the shot glass onto the table, your head spun and you could’ve sworn you felt your phone vibrate again. You needed air.
“I’ll be right back, I need a cigarette.”
“I’ll come with you!” Rhaena chirped.
“No!” You shouted, almost too enthusiastically.
“No, that’s okay. I know you hate the smell of smoke, Rhae. I’ll just be a minute.”
With that, you frantically made your way to the patio of the bar. Just as you lit your cigarette a familiar voice called out to you.
“Ohhh shit! I knew that was you!”
Now you were sure that the universe was certainly conspiring against you. It was none other than Aegon Targaryen. Aemond’s drunken, perverted, older brother. Wonderful.
Turning on your heel abruptly and puffing smoke out of your nostrils you gave him a reluctant wave.
“Hi, Aeg.”
“How are you?” He asked, wrapping his arms tightly around you, “how have you been?”
Not sure if it was the liquid courage or the need for someone else to witness the audacity of your ex, but you just shoved your phone into his chest, eyes glued to him as he scrolled through the messages with his eyebrows raised.
“Damn, I never would have thought Aemond to be the type to beg!” he laughed as you shot him a look of disapproval.
“Listen,” he said before taking a long drag of his own cigarette, “Aemond means well. He was pretty shaken up after you guys broke up.”
Yeah, right. What was there for him to be shaken up about? He broke up with you.
“And if you ask me,” he continued through puffs of his cigarette, “you’re the best thing that ever happened to him.”
“Isn’t he seeing someone like, twice our age?”
“Not anymore.”
A pregnant pause filled the air between the two of you as he handed you your phone back.
The conversation was becoming awkward, so Aegon tried to comfort you the only way he knew how.
“I know you’re stressed and all… do you, uhhh, want a bump?”
His question took you by surprise.
“A bump? Um, I’m good, Aeg.. thanks.”
The blonde lifted his hands up in defeat.
“Good call, if you do go see Aemond, I doubt he would be happy about that.”
“I’m not going to see Aemond,” you answer flatly, hitting his arm lightly.
“Well, whatever or whoever you decide to do tonight I wish you luck!” he smirked, “but, I know our mom would be thrilled if you started to come around again.”
“She misses me?” you blurted out, the desperation clear in your voice.
“Yeah,” Aegon shrugged, “we all do.” He smiled as his large palm patted against your back before he made his way back inside the bar.
You stood in silence as you finished your cigarette, unsure of what to do when you received yet another text from Aemond. You responded with the first thing that came to your mind.
Have you been drinking?
No. Come over. I want to see you.
Your phone buzzed again, but this time it was a picture. A photo of his cat Vhagar. The elderly feline was sprawled out across his leather couch, the caption reading: “she misses you too.”
She did not. She only ever liked Aemond.
Well, I’ve been drinking so… can’t drive.
Where are you? I’ll come get you.
No. He couldn’t. You couldn’t risk Baela seeing, she would kill you.
Nah. That’s okay.
God, this conversation was going nowhere. Why were you entertaining him anyway?
Let me get you an Uber.
Buzz.
Please.
Gods, he was pushy.
Fine 🫠
Once you found yourself back inside the bar, you decided to use that last shot of tequila as your reason to leave. You had said something along the lines of the mixture of liquors wasn’t agreeing with you and that you were gonna head out. The girls were disappointed, but they understood. Baela’s only condition is that you were sure to text her once you were home safe. You bid Jace and Cregan goodbye, and even agreed to go out for drinks with them again in the upcoming week.
As you sat in the backseat of the Uber, your palms filled with sweat and your heart raced as you made your way to the other side of the city to Aemond’s new apartment. You couldn’t help but feel nervous, wondering how he might react and if this was the right decision. Your mind raced with thoughts and emotions, but you tried to stay composed as you you pulled up to the building.
Aemond was waiting outside the apartment complex for you. His expression was unreadable as he puffed on the last few drags of a cigarette, quickly flicking it to the ground and stomping it out so he could make his way over to you.
“Hey,” he greeted, offering a shy smile before extending his arms out to hug you. “I’m glad you decided to come.”
His scent alone was intoxicating. A mixture of nicotine, spearmint toothpaste and musky cologne. Being in his embrace again had your head spinning, you felt as if your heart was going to beat out of your chest. It was almost as if the two of you never parted ways, like he never left. Damn him, you thought to yourself .
“Well, this is my new place,” he said as he opened the door to the lavish apartment. It was absolutely was stunning. Beautiful, mahogany cabinets and stainless steel appliances. The living room was spacious with high ceilings and a giant window that had an incredible view of the city. It was very Aemond-esque. It felt familiar, safe.
You spotted Vhagar on the dark green velvet couch in the center of the room.
You watched carefully as one of her eyes opened, she rose from her spot almost instantly once she spotted you. Making a beeline to Aemond’s bedroom.
“I thought you said she missed me?” you asked playfully.
"I may have lied," Aemond replied, giving you a shy smile.
An hour had gone by and you had spent the majority of it arguing with Aemond about your past. You listened to him attempt to apologize, explaining that it wasn’t you, it was him. He made a mistake, he’s changed. You weren’t having it, and yet, in the midst of it all, you had found yourself sitting so close to him you were almost on top of him. Mid sentence he had crashed his lips against yours. A rude interruption, for sure — but now, all bets were off.
The kiss was rough and intoxicating, a clash of teeth and tongue. He grazed your bottom lip with his teeth before sucking it into his mouth. Your head spun.
"More," you whispered against his lips, "I need more of you."
Aemond took no time to pick you up and carry you to his bedroom, as he placed you down on his bed gently. You feel his hands tearing off your clothes, striping you down to your underwear. Your heart raced with anticipation and desire. The intensity of his touch sent shivers down your spine. He lowered himself on top of you, reaching his arm up over his shoulder to remove his own shirt.
As he leant back down over you, his tongue trailed from your chin to your lips. A soft moan escaped your throat as he sucked on your lips, taking control of the kiss.
Arousal stirred inside you as he nipped down at your neck, licking and sucking until you arched your back under him, desperate for his touch.
“Missed me baby?” he teased, “because I sure missed you”, his violet eye scanned over your body, blown with lust as he made his way down. His slim fingers ghosted along your stomach, then gripped harshly onto the meaty flesh of your thigh. Your legs parted, letting him know what you wanted. He didn't hesitate, pulling your underwear off with one swoop. Leaving you completely bare in front of him.
“I missed this pretty little pussy too, fuck,” he groaned before biting at your thighs just before lowering his head between them, licking a stripe up your slit. You bucked under him, pushing him harder against you, driving his face deeper into your center.
A low groan left your throat, his name falling from your lips as you tugged at his silver hair and held his face against you. His tongue circled around your clit, the small bud swollen from his attentions. His fingers found their way inside you, exploring your cunt.
His thumb replaced his tongue on your clit as he rubbed harsh figure eights against you. He continued to rub your clit harder. Your breathing quickened, and your body legs began to shake.
"Oh, there’s my girl. You gonna cum for me?"
The combination of his words and a few more thrusts of his fingers made your mind go completely blank. Your ears rang, your vision blurred so much you had to squeeze your eyes shut, eventually seeing stars. Aemond finger fucked you through your orgasm as you soaked his hand.
You laid there for a moment, total blackness surrounding you until your Aemond’s calm voice brought you back to reality.
“Holy shit. You good baby?”
You nodded your head eagerly at him, “More than okay.”
After giving you some more time to come down from your first orgasm, Aemond crawled on top of you, as he began to slowly drag his cock between your already swollen folds, swirling the tip in your wetness; almost pushing in, but not quite.
“Aem,” you moaned, “please, I need to feel you. All of you .”
“Still so needy, hm?” He teased as he buried his cock inside you to the hilt. You winced at the length of him.
“Littleeee bit of a stretch baby,” he said as he let you adjust to his size, “there we go.”
"Oh.. Gods," you moaned. You forgot just how big Aemond was. The stretch was almost unbearable and yet, you craved more. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him deeper into you.
He began to rock back and forth into you, pumping his cock in and out. The louder you moaned, the harder he pounded into you. Eventually, the head of his cock pressed against your cervix.
"Please, please don't stop," you begged. He began to pound into you harder and faster, the lewd sound of his balls slapping against your ass filled the room. You felt your second orgasm of the night building inside of you as he continued to fuck you.
"Oh, Gods! Aemond, please, you’re going to make me cum again,” you babbled as your orgasm ripped through you once more. Your cunt clenched around his length as the tip of his cock bullied the spongy spot inside you without mercy.
Your slick coated walls contracting around him was all it took for him to lose control. He let out a loud groan as he spilled himself inside you, filling you with his seed as he bit down hard on your neck.
“Fuck,” he groaned as the aftermath of his own orgasm coursed through him, his cock still twitching inside of you. After placing a wet kiss on your cheek he positioned himself upright, placing a hand flat on the headboard behind you to help keep balance, he slowly pulled his cock out of you. You winced at the emptiness, a pool of warmth leaking out of your cunt and onto the bed sheets.
“Oh, shit. Here, let me help clean you up.”
As you came down from your high, you also came to your senses. No. Him cleaning you up would be too intimate of an act — as if he wasn’t just buried inside of you.
“No, Aem. It’s fine, I need to go to the bathroom anyway.”
He shrugged, “there are washcloths under the sink if you need one.”
Your heart sank as the bathroom door shut. A red lacy bra, that definitely didn’t belong to you was slung over the door handle. Memories of your past relationship came flooding back, along with feelings of sadness and regret. You couldn’t help but wonder who the bra belongs to, your first thought was that older professor. It's a painful reminder that not only had Aemond had not changed at all, he also just took advantage of you.
This was definitely a bad idea.
#modern!aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen#aemond x reader#aemond x you#aemond targaryen smut#house of the dragon#hotd s2#aemond targaryen fanfic#ewan mitchell#aemond targaryen x reader#modern!aemond#hotd imagine#hotd fic#house of the dragon smut#my writing#aemond x y/n#aemond imagine#aemond fanfic#aemond targaryen x you#modern aemond smut#modern aemond#prince aemond#aemond one eye#hotd#aemond oneshot#aemond targaryen oneshot#modern aemond x you#modern aemond x reader smut#modern hotd#modern!aemond oneshot
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fluff with a lot of angst, reader is injured and in hospital for one scene but it's not graphic, lovesick!bakugou
during the many years you’ve loved bakugou katsuki, you have only seen him cry three times.
the first time, you were alarmed. where you fell asleep on the couch awaiting your boyfriend’s return, you did not expect to wake up to the sound of sniffles and the sight of drying tears.
“katsuki? what’s the matter?” you asked cautiously, immediately sitting up to wipe his tears away.
your touch, like a healing balm to the blond, lets you treat him like glass when both of you know he is nothing akin to fragile.
“‘s nothin’,” he gruffly huffs, voice cracking a little.
“if you say so,” you murmur skeptically, knowing better than to prod when it’s bakugou involved.
“were ya waitin’ for me?”
you nod. “i thought we could eat together but- what time is it?”
“almost nine.”
“oh. i thought we could eat dinner together but your patrol must have ended a lot later.”
his heart aches pitifully, worsening when he watches you rub the sleep out of your eyes. “‘m sorry, i didn’t mean to come home so late.”
“it’s okay, i get it.”
“we can still eat together, if that’s okay,” he grumbles, looking away bashfully and missing the way your face brightens.
“that sounds lovely, i’ll go heat up dinner-“
“-no, i’ll do it. it’s my fault for coming home later, i’ll call you when it's done.”
bakugou is out of your sight before you can argue any further. as you watch your boyfriend disappear, you’re left pondering on the couch as to why he was acting so uncharacteristically. did he have a bad day? did something happen at work? was he unable to save someone? that’s can't be the reason, he always-
“dinner’s done!” your boyfriend calls from the kitchen, disrupting your thoughts.
when you asked, it didn't sound like he had a terrible day, in fact it sounds like he had a successful patrol, but you cannot fathom any other reason for his melancholy, but if he’s forgotten about it, then you will too.
but... bakugou doesn’t forget. he still remembers when midoriya first alluded to the inheritance of his quirk from all might, he remembers the night vision goggles kirishima broke when trying to save him that one time, he remembers your favourite things and what makes you happy; he remembers everything.
and he’ll never forget that the tears he shed tonight were over the fact that bakugou will never get to show you how much he loves you.
bakugou katsuki, for the first time, realised just how painfully human he is.
he has a heart that beats for you, limbs that longingly ache to be near you whenever he’s not, a mind devoted to you and a cursed mouth so incapable of expressing it all.
if he could, he would wrestle the night sky to give its stars to you instead because you love stars. you love the stupid things in life that bakugou can't give. he can’t give you everything you could ever want and with that realisation, bakugou discovered just how beatable he was.
you may never know the multitude of bakugou’s love for you, and that fact alone brings him to tears as he gazed upon your sleeping figure on the couch, resting peacefully until his arrival.
the second time, you wake up confused.
the lights in the room are dim, there's a machine beeping intermittently and you think it's a heartbeat monitor but you don't really think too hard about it because your body hurts.
you have to blink a few times to get the blurriness out of your eyes, but you eventually comprehend the sterile walls of a hospital room. then the memories come back one by one, a patrol gone awry, evacuating citizens and... ah, being slammed into a wall back-first by the villain. explains the pain.
then you register the looming figure beside your bed, a pair of widened vermillion eyes gazing into your own with untameable blond hair to match, you can't help the smile from spreading on your face when you see your lover.
"hey," you cough weakly, throat dry and scratchy from lack of use.
next thing you know, bakugou's bulky figure is draped over yours, forehead resting on your chest as his arms gently snake around your torso, bringing you into his chest and pressing himself firmly against you.
you feel him; his relief, his sorrow, his devotion, his painful sobs as he shakes against you and it kills you that the only thing you have the strength to do is run a hand through his hair. you want to kiss him, to tell him that it's okay and that there's nothing to cry about, that you're here and nothing will change that, but you're so very sore and barely in tact.
"don't do this shit again," he threatens weakly and you feel his tears seep through your hospital gown. "you had me so fuckin' worried, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, i can't believe you'd do this to me, do you know how much it sucked to be without you?"
"sorry, katsuki," you whisper and he looks up at you, glossy eyes and quivering lip.
"promise me you'll never do this again."
cupping his cheeks with your hands, there's a rush of deja vu as your thumbs catch his tears. "i don't know how realistic that promise is given that this is my job-"
"-your job is to save lives, not go crashin' into buildings, idiot."
you laugh gently, a stabbing pain making itself known in your gut when you do. your wince doesn't go unnoticed by bakugou, who knows you better than the back of his hand and his heart lurches at the slightest evidence that you're in pain. "still, i won't make promises i can't keep, you know how our jobs are, katsuki."
he frowns, furrowing his brows. "then i'll promise to always be there for you. don't go where i can't."
"that's not realistic."
"watch me."
"okay then, deal."
there are questions you still want answers to, but for now, you'll let the blond continue crying with his ear pressed against your chest.
(you won't ever know about the few days bakugou has spent in your hospital ward, absolutely miserable as he looks upon your gaze with anticipation. he hates how helpless he is, that he can't do anything to rid of this horrible feeling in his chest but wait for you to wake up. he hates that he can't any semblance of peace, he hates the man that love has made him, but most importantly, he hates being without you.
you won't ever know the struggle it was to get bakugou out of your room for even just an hour. midoriya and kirishima had to wrestle him in hopes of getting some proper food together, and yaomomo and todoroki had to literally block the door with various items to prevent his entrance.
you won't ever know how alienated bakugou felt, unable to face your shared home without you in it. without your music playing, without your shoes messily thrown at the genkan, without your comforting presence to return to when all is said and done, there isn't much of a home for bakugou.
you won't ever know how desperately bakugou clung to your hand, fiddling with it whenever he needed a safe haven.
you won't ever know the amount of tears the blond had shed by your side, hunched over your bed, with nothing and no one to comfort him but the sound of the heartbeat monitor.)
the third time, you cry too.
it's your wedding day.
when the news first came out, japan practically roared with excitement and anticipation for the special day that their two favourite heroes would wed. the enthusiasm has not dimmed down even months later, and now, as you're one door away from your lover, you feel it buzzing in your bones.
it all goes by in a blur. one second you're about to trip over yourself in nervousness and the next, you're walking down the aisle with a stunned bakugou failing to keep his composure at the altar. despite the amount of close friends and family around you, all you can see is the love of your life who looks at you with unmatched adoration and affection in those ruby irises of his.
up close, however, all you can see are the tears forming in his eyes, and his first sniffle takes everyone in the room by surprise. no doubt, this is their first and last time seeing their beloved hero cry.
more tears are shed and then, it's just waterworks from practically everyone in the room as bakugou breaks down even more.
thank goodness for a private wedding because you know he is never going to live it down if the press got their hands on this image.
a close friend of yours hands you a handkerchief and you wipe away bakugou's tears with a teasing smile, unable to keep your wobbly laughter at bay as your lover- japan's symbol of victory and heroism, turns to nothing but putty in your hands. he lets you treat him so delicately because you've seen him at his lowest, most shaken, and most unlovable, yet still decided to stay.
"sorry," he apologises as you dab at his tears, words reserved for you and you alone. "you're just so... divine. i can't believe i'm marryin' you."
you feel your first tear roll down your cheek and bakugou catches it before it can go too far, wiping it away.
"such an embarrassin' way to start our wedding," he grumbles.
"embarrassing for the both of us, but memorable no doubt," you try to reason.
"everything is memorable as long as i'm with you."
"such a sap," you whack his shoulder lightly. "have you been saving that line for today specifically?"
"you should wait til the vows. bet mine are better than yours."
"i didn't know you could be a poet."
"only for you."
"well then, i can't wait to find out what else you are, katsuki."
"i'll always be yours."
you laugh, "i'm glad to hear that 'cause i love you."
"i love you even more, i'm crying just to prove it."
"your tears are dangerous."
"yeah well, you're marryin' these tears so."
"like i said, i can't wait."
© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
#don't talk to me abt this. this was so bad#lmk if there are warnings i missed#i'm pretty sure this is gn!reader i mean i'm gender neutral so hey if the shoe fits#bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo katuski x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader#bnha fluff#bakugou fluff#bakugo fluff#bakugo katsuki#my hero academia x reader#boku no hero academia x reader
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