#i just have to not care about my body. it's whatever. i know where that leads
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Have Mercy
One Shot Masterlist | Complete Masterlist
Summary: You're a powered being with healing abilities and you try to bring Loki back from the brink of death. Pairing: Loki x Female Reader Word Count: 1832 Warnings: Fluff, heavy kissing, slapping, mentions of death (close call), injury, a very flirty Loki,
You didn’t know how much time had passed since you all started the ambush. Tall sequoias canopied above blocking the setting sun. The air was thick with smoke and heavy from the fighting. You heard multiple teammates calling for healing, but none was louder than Thor. His troubled voice blasted through the comms, “Medic! We need a healer quickly!” His deep command tore you away from the battle you were in and you fought your way over to him. “Priestess, please! Come quick!”
Through fire and volley, you found Thor kneeling on the ground with Loki in his arms. Lifeless. Steve was circling them, trying to shield the brothers from a barrage of attacks.
You knelt on the ground. Your knees hit soft mud as your eyes scanned Loki’s body. His sharp face was paler than usual. Blue-ish tint had started to stain his lips. And your naïve-self hoped it was just because of the cold seeping from the wet ground. “Thor, I’ll take it from here. Go help Steve. I can’t worry about my life when I have to worry about his!”
Thor nodded to you. But before he laid Loki down, he whispered in his ear, “I know you are stronger than this, brother. But I swear on Yggdrasil if you are pretending, I will not hesitate to cleave Stormbreaker into you.” Thor sniffed and placed him down to the ground.
You nodded your head and patted Thor’s shoulder. “He’ll be fine,” you feigned, as you tried to get a better look at what had happened. You didn’t have the heart to tell Thor that you could feel how thin and fragile Loki’s life string was. A hair, compared to the cord that we all have. Worse, the thick rope that the Asgardian’s life used to be. You didn’t even know if you were skilled enough to weave it stronger.
There was a large gaping hole that tore Loki’s chest plate. His skin had burned and was raw from the impact. You couldn’t see any entry wounds. Nor blood. But the bruising and dent on his chest was not a good sign. A stray missile, perhaps? Maybe jumping in the way to save his brother. They vex each other constantly. But deep down they care for each other like most siblings do.
You straddled his body, holding your two hands out, placing them over his wound. A soft resonance emitted from your palm down to his skin. You kept your hands on him as the pulse of your powers worked their way through his body. You can see tiny mends of his scrapes and scratches. The raw skin around the wound had returned to their usual pallor. He’s reacting at least. There’s still some life in him- whatever little is left.
You persisted. With every pulse, you can see his wounds healing. Ribs cracking back into place. The blue on his lips retreated ever so slowly. But his lifeline was stubborn. If you could hold out just long enough, his own regenerative powers might kick in.
Grasping at straws, your mind quickly raced with ideas to help speed the process along. You remembered that sometimes, shock was a good way of knocking someone back into the land of the living. “Ugh, don’t get mad at me, okay? I’m only trying to save your life,” you vowed out loud in case he was able to hear you. You quickly pulled your palm back and slapped Loki hard across his cheek.
Small capillaries burst where your hand met his face. Aside from the new hue, Loki had remained the same. Still and quiet. His line fading from your grasp. You panicked at your failed attempt.
You didn’t know what to do anymore. You didn’t know how to tell Thor that you couldn’t save his only brother. Ideas and thoughts ran past your mind all muddled and incoherent. Ways and spells. Teachings and theories you’ve learned on healing and regeneration.
You cupped Loki’s cheek, healing the bruise you had left. Your brows knit together, puzzled as to what to do next. Hopeless in feeling and thought. You didn’t want to look up. You didn’t want to see Thor’s face and have to tell him an awful truth. They had just reunited this past year. It wasn’t fair. And it would be all your fault because you couldn’t save him. You couldn’t save Loki. Your heart turned solemn as angry tears threatened to drop from your eyes.
By now the fighting had stopped. You didn’t realize how quiet the world had gotten around you. How still the air was from flying projectiles or weapons. The team gathered loosely. Giving you space to try and save Loki’s life, but the look on their faces betrayed the faith they were trying to offer you.
Your thumb brushed Loki’s cheek, wiping away the mud that speckled his face. He would’ve been appalled if he knew where Thor had left him on the ground. You smirked at the thought as your thumb rested on his chin and traced his lips.
His cold lips opened slightly at your touch, and you were struck with an idea. You grabbed both sides of his leather collars and brought him to sit up towards you. His slack weight was heavier than you anticipated, and it took your remaining strength to sit him upright. You closed your eyes as your lips crashed into his, honing your powers into that desperate kiss.
You had never done this before. You had never needed to do this before. But you were hoping that your breath of life could pass onto him and carry him through till his own powers could take over. You sucked hard on his upper lip, not wanting to break any contact. Your fingers entwined themselves in his hair, desperate to keep him close to you. “Please. Please. Please,” you whispered into his mouth. Tears fell from your eyes and landed on his cheek. Your arms wrapped around his neck, unwilling to let go. Unwilling to accept the truth.
Still, you continued.
You felt a low rumble from his chest. A hopeful sign that it’s working. You just needed to hold on a little bit longer! You opened your lips for a breath of your own. And when you closed your mouth around his, your power pulsated in between you.
You felt his temperature return first. The warmth in his lips, the heat in his breath. You could feel his lifeline winding itself tighter and stronger.
His mouth returned your kiss. Sluggish and tentative. But they held on to your lips, tightly. His hands embraced your hips so delicately you didn’t even know they were there. You naturally leaned into the kiss more. Your power still pulsing through you. One last intake of breath and you passed it along towards Loki.
His grip tightened around you and he pulled you closer onto his lap. His arms snaked around you, holding your head close to his, unwilling to let you go. You could hear small groans and heavy panting. But you honestly didn’t know whether it came from you or from Loki.
His tongue touched your lips, asking for entry. Catching your breath you opened your mouth once again and Loki gainfully ran his tongue inside against the roof of your mouth.
You didn’t realize that your powers had finished. With nothing left to heal, your powers subsided. But you were so lost in the kiss that you had forgotten where you were and what you were doing. Slowly, you pulled away. But Loki’s kiss followed you unwilling to release you. You bit his bottom lip as a warning, holding his face in between your hands.
“Darling, what an indecent way to ask me out,” Loki grinned from ear to ear. His voice was rough and garbled. He kept his face close to yours, running his nose against your cheek. “I accept!”
The world came crashing back around you. The time. The place. The situation. The shock froze you in place just staring into Loki’s blue-green eyes. “I always thought you harbored affections for me. But now I am certain,” he taunted.
You slapped him.
You couldn’t think of anything else to do. You felt betrayed somehow. Tricked. Even though you knew that he was genuinely in peril. The fact that he was joking about it even now, irked you.
Loki’s eyes narrowed. His brow furrowed as he slowly turned his head to face you again. His chin jutted out, trying to contain the smirk that was coming forth. “Is that how you like it?”
You tried to push yourself off of him. You’ve had enough of his antics. You were utterly embarrassed at being caught in this situation. Especially with the team around, surely watching.
He caught your wrists as you pushed on his chest, stopping you. “Do it again,” he commanded. His grin was out in full force now. Dazzling you to the last inch of your nerve.
“Ugh, the thanks I get for saving your life!” pushing him down as you stood yourself up. “Next time I’ll just leave you limp in the mud.” You sneered, walking away with your head held high and your face heated and red. From humiliation or from desire, you didn’t know.
“Well, that’s very hard to do when you’re kissing me like that, my angel,” Loki yelled after you. He couldn’t stop smiling as he watched you angry and flustered. All because of him. Oh, I’m in trouble.
“What do I gotta do to get a kiss like that?” Bucky asked teasingly as you stomped passed him.
“Die!” you growled back at him. The words felt mean as they left your mouth. And you regretted saying them instantly. He was only trying to lighten the situation. But you couldn’t help the shame you had inside you.
“Oh, c’mon doll. I was only teasing.” Bucky raised his arms in defeat and followed you back to the quinjet, laughing.
“Loki!” Thor scolded as he held his hand to his brother, helping him up. “I hope that you were not deceiving us just to try and gain favor with the priestess. I know you’ve been seeking her affections.”
“Brother! I am genuinely hurt! Did you not see me lying there at the last inch of my life?” Loki contended, pointing to the ground where he once laid.
Thor rolled his eyes but smirked, clapping Loki on the shoulder. He was glad to have his brother back once again. “She’s very talented that one. And I do not want to see her get hurt, Lo-. Loki are you listening to me.”
Loki was at a loss for words, watching you. “She gave me my life back, brother. I have felt her lips against mine and I’ll be damned if I don’t feel them again soon.” Loki smiled as he swatted away Thor’s hand on him. His eyes solely on you, plotting how to get you to kiss him again.
A/N: I know it's been awhile. I do plan on finishing my series' soon. Thanks for staying with me. Life has been hard and you guys get me through it.
🏷️ @peaches1958 @salempoe @thomase1 @kkdvkyya @a-witch-with-words @mischief2sarawr @sarawr-reads @vbecker10 @peachymallow @irishhappiness @cakesandtom @simplyholl @here4thefanfics @holdmytesseract @immersed-in-mischief @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @kikster606 @glitterylokislut @loz-3 @slytherclaw1227 @chantsdemarins @the-lady-amphitrite @eleniblue @km-ffluv @lokidokieokie @n3rdybirdee @melsunshine @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokischambermaid @cjand10 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @chrisevansmaindish @capswife @dangertoozmanykids101 @shadycloudcollection @annoyingsweetsstranger @alyeskathewave @xxjust-a-kidxx @tallseaweed @liliacdreamer @stevihj +more in the comments
#Loki#Loki fanfiction#Loki imagine#Loki x reader#Loki x OFC#Loki x yn#Loki x you#fluff#angst#smut#Loki au#avengers Loki#Loki Laufeyson#Loki Odinson#Loki Friggason#powered reader#kiss#healing#Avengers loki#brodinsons#odinson#flirting loki
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Hello! I've been reading your works and I absolutely love it 💖💖 you're actually the first few people who got me into this fandom, and for that I'm eternally grateful ☺
As for the ask, is it ok if I ask general yan HCS of both monkeys? Maybe with fem reader? NSFW is fine. Thanks so much and have a good day! ❤
OOoOOooOOkay! So Ima give this my best shot! Keep in mind I do more ‘soft’ yandere mainly because I do like me a bit of romance with my darker stuff. I WILL add some darker things at the end though!! (I don’t delve into yan often so bare with me 🫶🫂 I’m learning)
Keep in mind before proceeding this isnt your typical HC everyone :)! It’s going to have some Non Con/stalking/whatever comes to my mind. I went with whatever direction my brain was going so I hope this came out okay!
Warning: Yandere ideas
Destined One
At first you didnt notice anything different about him compared to anyone else outside of the obvious physical traits and some personality traits. He’s reserved, quiet, and focused entirely on his goals. His determination and strength is something that awes you to this day. Something you do notice about him though is that hes observant. Always taking note of his surroundings and using his senses to keep himself aware of what going on. When you first started traveling with him he seemed to almost…ignore you a bit. As though you weren’t really a scratch on his so called journey and mission. But over time you start to notice him staring at you and watching you. It’s a little intense but you just chalk it up to him being him, maybe he’s curious about his companion finally?
- [ ] He hadnt really thought much of you when you first joined him. It honestly took him a bit of time to realize he’d grown a bit….attached to you. His eyes always following your every move and his ears always listening for you. Your scent? He has that memorized.
- [ ] DO is going to start off subtle about his attentions towards you. He’s not going to be rash, unless something pushes him to it.
- [ ] He’s ALWAYS watching you. Always knows where you are and what youre doing.
- [ ] His feelings for you go from zero to almost 100 - although he’s silent about it at first. You’re going to notice him staring or even sometimes getting things you needed for you before you even knew you needed it.
- [ ] DO doesnt do things in half measures. He’s focused. Which means once he’s turned his attentions on you, ALL of him is focused on you.
- [ ] DO knows it’s wrong, but cant stop himself from doing some of the more…inappropriate things with you. Such as watching you while you bathe or change.
- [ ] *Non Con - He’s going to end up touching you while you sleep. Be it an accident at first (yeah right) or he just doesn’t stop his urge to do so. But he’s going touch you because you’re too inviting to him. He won’t go so far as full on sex, but you will be caressed and eventually as he gains confidence you’ll find marks you’re not sure where they came from. He’s going to decide the very first night his hands slip under your clothes that you are his.
- [ ] No one else will EVER see you or touch you like he had. Ever.
- [ ] He’s going to be hyper attentive to you, lulling you into this sense of “Aw he cares for me and takes care of me”. While YES he does, it’s also to further his own goal in regards to you. The foods he brings? Not every time, but sometimes might have a little something in them that makes you a little…sleepy. Pliant. So he can run his hands under your clothes or leave little marks on you without you making a fuss. Your body will NOT be afraid of his touch, he’s going to make sure of it. Sex is still something he’s reserving for…claiming you fully. For now, he’s going to take his time getting your body just used to his hands and the way he makes you feel with them or his tail.
- [ ] He’s going to manhandle you, sit you where he wants you and if you fuss he’s stubborn and won’t budge about it, using his strength to hold you where he put you, to the point you let him have his way because it’s not worth arguing over.
- [ ] You dont realize it but he’s also been scenting the hell out of you, your clothes, and even your bed furs. To you, it just smells like a combination of you, the forest, and of him - which you dont think anything of because he carries stuff for you a lot.
- [ ] But him scenting that stuff? It’s a very loud claim especially since it’s not just him rubbing his face or neck on the items….no he’s rubbing those materials around his cock and balls. Getting his musk all over it.
- [ ] On you, he will be a bit more subtle with his scenting. Wrapping a tail around you or brushing his hand through your hair or against you as he walks by. But sometimes DO shoves his hand down his pants, coating his hand or even tail in his musk and then rubs it on you. You are HIS.
- [ ] He’s jealous as all hell too and will make it known by how he behaves towards others in regards to you. Does NOT like anyone even looking at you, it makes him want to carry you off to some makeshift nest and KEEP you there, to prevent wandering eyes.
- [ ] Speaking of, as soon as his journey ends thats exactly what he wants to do. If he doesnt have a place in mind he’s definitely going to make sure he finds one. It will be the nest for the two of you. He will make sure he gets you everything you need so you wont need to go out.
- [ ] Before that though, he’s going to do everything in his power to make sure you know that you’re his and he’s going to make sure you dont want anyone else.
- [ ] When his journey is over, immediately youre thrown over his shoulder. He’s carting you off to your permanent home, away from any dangers or the possibility of someone stealing you away from him.
- [ ] Here is where he’s a bit more…demanding and forceful. See, by this point he knows your body wants him, he’s smelled and felt how wet you get for his touch and he’s seen your eyes on him. You’ve been slowly pulled into his orbit once he has you in his chosen space he’s going to have all of you.
- [ ] He’s not going to just strip you and shove himself in, no. He still wants to make sure your body is willing. So he’s going to be more bold and more obvious about his touches.
- [ ] Bathing alone? Not anymore. Changing alone? Nope. Unless he’s gone doing something like gathering food or a quick patrol, your body is for his eyes. He will let you have some modesty but he’s going to slip his hands under your clothes when he pleases and feel your soft warm skin.
- [ ] You’re going to be awake when his tail or fingers forcefully slip between your legs, he’s going to pull orgasms out of you until your awake conscious learns to relax for his touch like your sleeping body and conscious do.
- [ ] You wont be allowed to leave, he will make sure a clone is around you at all times if he cant be and when youre sleeping he’s wrapped around you, his limbs like vices.
- [ ] Your skin will be marked with his bites and some claw marks, not deep enough to truly harm but enough to remind you of him when he’s out of sight.
- [ ] He will slowly get you addicted to his taste as well, slipping a pre or cum coated finger into your mouth as you orgasm so your brain learns that his taste means pleasure.
- [ ] When he takes you he’s going to be gentle but firm, he wants you to feel good but also wont let you resist him. He’s CLAIMING you now. His fangs will bite into you, this time with the purpose to scar his claim on you.
- [ ] After this, he’s going to make sure youre always ready for him, is not above using a clone to keep you spread open and wet for him via cock warming or a prefucking. You will be molded to the shape of his cock.
- [ ] He’s also going to slip inside you when you sleep, waking you as he ruts into you or touches your body.
- [ ] Your body WILL know that his touch means pleasure, but if you resist he’s going to make sure you remember your place. He will be rougher with you. Wanting you to submit.
- [ ] He will always pamper you after, cuddling you and cleaning you. But his cum will remain inside you until he’s ready to help you wash it out.
- [ ] He’s going to make sure you are so reliant on him, his touch, his presence, and all he does for you that you wont remember that his possessiveness isnt normal, that he’d stolen you away without asking and that he continues to lay his claim on you.
- [ ] No, youre lulled into a sense of belonging with him….youre his to care for, protect, and take.
- [ ] All in all and in general, Destined One is a quiet but firm yandere lover. Only when you really push back/push his dominance does he get too harsh with you. Depending on WHEN he finds you will depend on how quickly he steals you away. But he’s going to take care of you, you are HIS mate and mates are to be cared for, protected. He knows it’s not exactly normal to keep you the way he does, but something in him wont allow for you to even have the possibility to consider someone else. He’s going to show you that HE is the best for you. That HE knows the best for you. He may be jealous and possessive but he wont harm you so much so that you would be repulsed by his touch. No, he wants you pliant and giving in when he reaches for you, relaxing in his embrace or even seeking his touch out. If you take your pleasure with out him, he’s not going to let you sleep, it will get to the point you will end up passing out and he will keep going. He’s going to take you again when you wake. Your pleasure is for him to take and give.
Wukong:
Wukong is…very friendly to you. He also is a very good, if sometimes annoying, traveling companion or protector. So you really don’t notice anything out of the ordinary with him in the beginning. By the time you do it’s honestly too late for you. He’s lulled you into his intricate web and there’s no escape from him. Because he’s had his eyes on you and what Wukong wants, Wukong gets. He also knows there is no one else better than him for you.
- [ ] He knows almost immediately after meeting you that he wants you. It’s not a normal ‘want’ either. It’s the kind of greed he that claws at him from the inside desperate to get out and get a hold of you.
- [ ] Wukong will temper SOME of his more…greedy tendencies down. At first. But he has a way about him that is very demanding and commanding. Being the King and powerful being he is.
- [ ] He has a way of making you feel comfortable around him, as though you belong by his side. He’s going to make sure you see HIM as your protector and someone to go to for help or anything you need.
- [ ] Wukong will be outright flirtatious with you, but he wont be overtly forceful with his touches right away. He wants to get you warmed up to him and used to his ‘casual’ touches. Something he does NOT do for others but you dont need to know that.
- [ ] He definitely disguises himself when you go bathing, be it a fish in the water or a bug flying about. He wants his eyes on you at all times. Yes, this means he may brush against you often while in his forms of trickery.
- [ ] Would absolutely disguise himself as a woman in a bathhouse if you went to one and offer to help you bathe. (He will fish for compliments about himself if you mention him traveling with you)
- [ ] Wukong is going to be manipulative in a way you dont even realize. He’s mouthy and cunning so he’s going to use his words to steer you in whatever direction he wants things to go in.
- [ ] He’s also very opinionated and stubborn, sometimes using that to his advantage to get you to submit to him with some kind of benefit after, be it something he gets for you or he’s just all around more pleasant. He’s subtle about it all at first.
- [ ] Everything will be orchestrated to his needs/wants even if it LOOKS like it’s yours, because in his mind he knows what’s best FOR you.
- [ ] You’re going to wear clothes he finds for you (will probably take your preferences into consideration because he wants you happy but will definitely get things that suit his taste too), you will periodically have to share his clothes (because he dirty’s yours on purpose or ruins them).
- [ ] He wants you to rely on him for most things, getting you food to cook, personal effects/items, etc. Essentially hes going to be a sugar daddy LMFAO but in a way that he’s not necessarily giving you money, he just gets the thing for you while you wait for him because he wants you getting used to HIM taking care of you.
- [ ] *Non Con - Wukong will definitely slip things at times into your food or drink, wanting to make you think your having lovely dreams about him but in reality he has you in his lap, your legs spread wide open, one over each of his knees as he’s caressing your body or filling your hole with his tail or fingers. The wet sounds filling the air while youre out of it. Come morning there wont be a trace on you - besides the ever present lingering scent of his on your skin thanks to how touchy he is in general. Through this he explores your body, getting it needy for his touch.
- [ ] He’s also going to cum on you while you sleep or will rub his precum on the inside of your panties so when you wear them you dont even realize what he’s done as its mixed with your natural discharge of fluids that end up on your underwear throughout the day. But HIS precum and scent is pressed directly against your pussy all day.
- [ ] Depending on the situation - he may steal you away right away or he might wait and bide his time, getting you to be relaxed with him before he takes you away for himself.
- [ ] Either way, once he has you to himself he’s going to get more intense. He may not penetrate you right away but he’s going to make you crave him, until you finally beg him to bully his cock into your hole.
- [ ] He’s going to press against you all the time, rubbing his body on yours, striping you and bringing you to the edge of pleasure with his fingers, mouth, or tail until UH OH, you didnt beg him to claim you. Oops….cant orgasm because you clearly dont need him like you should. But that doesnt mean HE cant cum. So he’s going to do so and rub it into your skin or cuming against your mouth as he holds it open. Wukong wants to cum in your pussy but he holds back, instead cleaning his cock off with your panties and making you wear them all day. Showing ownership over you.
- [ ] As mentioned before, hes mouthy. He’s going to be good at using his words and voice to pick at things and make you question things. Including calling you out on your body’s reactions to him. He finds it amusing when you try to hide it. He’s going to dig into those things about you and make you squirm - get you worked up as he whispers filthy things to you. Things you might not even have thought about but now you are.
- [ ] All you’re going to know is him, what he can give you and what he does for you. He’s made sure of it. So by the time you finally beg him to stuff you full, finally fully submitting to him and giving up your stubborn pride, he’s not going to hesitate. He’s going to press you down, ass up face pressed to the floor or bed with his hand on the back of your neck as he holds you down. His cock is going to enter you in one thrust and he will be nice for just a moment to let you spasm around his shape. Wukong will coo at you and the second you even slightly relax hes going to pull back and thrust in hard. The way he takes you that first time is total dominance, you will know who you belong to and where you belong. His finger prints will be bruised into your skin and his bite mark on you as he fully claims you as HIS MATE.
- [ ] He’s going to take care of you after though dont worry, he will be gentle and kiss your body. But he’s going to make you orgasm no matter how sore or overstimulated you are - this second round will be softer. The part of him that loves you and wants to pamper you taking over.
- [ ] Wukong wont have any issue playing with you in front of his monkeys (adult ones), so if there’s a meeting going on expect his tail to wander where it shouldn’t, slipping inside you. Or he will have a clone who’s bullied his way between your legs under the table. He might even have you sit on his cock, keeping still as he deals with whatever monkey business is going on. No one will ever see an intimate part of you, he wants to keep that for himself. But they will hear you screaming his name and they will see his marks on you.
- [ ] Over all Wukong as a yandere is much more vocally and mentally manipulative. He is also raw power and strength not used to being denied. If youre too stubborn or push back he’s going to show you who is boss and why HIS way is best. He wont ever truly harm you, but youre going to know punishment / consequences for your actions if you displease him. You’re his mate, so he’s going to take care of you but it’s going to be in the way he deems best. If you fully give yourself over to him he will pamper the absolute fuck out of you while also probably pushing your boundaries here and there. Because he LIKES showing his ownership of you. Wukong wont mind you taking your own pleasure but for every orgasm you have (essentially taking them from him) he’s going to have some form of punishment lined out for you. Your body is going to know the feel of him and him alone, or him and his clones because he has zero problem with pushing you to your limits with his clones, wanting to see you cock drunk on him.
General Both:
- [ ] Regularly walks around with your juices on his chin or on the fur surrounding his cock.
- [ ] Good at after care but doesn’t hold back when he wants something
- [ ] Loves seeing his marks on your skin and presses against them regularly with his fingers to watch you squirm and remember how you got the marks.
- [ ] Not above using all the tricks in the book to get you.
- [ ] Will happily chase you down if you run - into predator/prey stuff.
- [ ] Sensitive to your returned (given willingly) affection.
Extra dark -
these are harsher so skip if you don’t like: Doing a “both” here because it’s easier. These are in general terms so different AUs/situations apply
- [ ] Very jealous & possessive. If someone shows interest in you…they aren’t gonna live long.
- [ ] Will manipulate the things around you without you knowing to get what he wants which is YOU. Be it people or events etc - will make himself look like a good option/only option you have. (If he has to clone into someone or kill someone / make them look bad he will do it)
- [ ] He thinks he knows what’s best for you so whatever he needs to do he will and you will learn that too.
- [ ] Will kill someone you may have been interested in/with/might be married off too.
- [ ] Will assert his dominance by fucking you/making you scream for him in front of someone who had eyes on you/dating you/married to you/getting married to you while a clone of his holds them captive- will kill them after he’s done showing the person who you belong to.
- [ ] Will have you cock warm him while he’s doing important things (WK kingly duties etc). Doesn’t care if others are in the room but they better not LOOK at you. That’s the rule.
- [ ] Will use you until he’s done - especially if you fight him. But he’s going to make sure you crave him and his touch/pleasure.
- [ ] Rough with you, you will have his marks on your body at all times be it scratch’s or bites and bruises. (Might make a special mark - maybe his initials)
- [ ] Going to keep you open and wet for him for when he needs you. Loves you cock drunk and mindless. Uses you as stress relief too after a hard day/fight
- [ ] Would absolutely baby trap you.
- [ ] If he wanted to really play with you, he’d capture you, fuck you, and release you with his cum still filling you (he’s going to be near by don’t worry). He will do this many times until all you can dream about is him/his touch. (Yes he could just keep you but he wants to mentally mess with you - make you crave the pleasure he forces on you)
- [ ] In that same category- will spike your food/drink and will fuck you into his shape. You’ll wake thinking you had some erotic dream but in reality he had genuinely claimed you.
- [ ] Will stalk the fuck out of you, you’ll catch him out of the corner of your eye because he WANTS you to. Wants to smell your fear a little because it excites him.
- [ ] Will make you walk around with his cum on your skin/In you - you WILL smell like his.
- [ ] Will get you anything you need but takes his payment from your body/pleasure. (Publicly too)
- [ ] You will wear the things he picks for you, some for his eyes only. Be it body jewelry or sexy items. When you’re in public you wear his favorite colors on you or the things he adorns you with.
- [ ] Fighting him is useless and only eggs him on - push him too much though and he WILL assert his power over you. You won’t be moving anywhere and will feel his ‘punishment’
- [ ] Mentally/emotionally will make it so you are so far gone on him and dependent on him you don’t even consider escaping anymore.
- [ ] Because while he’s dominant and forceful he adds enough sweetness to keep you addicted to him. Yes, he will take care of you and your basic needs and even provide good after care. You are his mate at the end of the day.
- [ ] You sleep with him every night - snug against his body. (If he hasn’t stolen you away he’s definitely sneaking into your bed)
- [ ] Regularly uses his clones not only to monitor you but to keep you ready for him. Might play punishment games if you cum while being touched by a clone.
- [ ] If someone tries to help you escape you’re going to be given their head as a trophy.
- [ ] If someone tries to take you from him, he’s going to level mountains.
- [ ] Might test you to see if you will try to escape….punishments as consequences.
- [ ] Will protect you with everything he has and any children you give him.
- [ ] Depending on the situation is suspicious if you returning affection - but if he sees it’s genuine he’s going to be smug as fuck and also very vulnerable about it but won’t show that.
#black myth wukong#sun wukong x reader#black myth wukong x reader#destined one x reader#bk kai writes#yandere stuff#I tried I’m still learning okay????#kinda vague since it’s not a full fic etc#I do have fic ideas for this 🫶
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Sirion the Vampire
-Patreon - Ko-Fi - Commissions - Masterlist - 3K words - Trans-Male Reader x Male Monster Forbidden Love - Elopement - Vampire Feeding - True Self
Taking hold of that hand, you held it close, unafraid of the dark and certainly not worried about the cold. You looked into the darkness of his eyes, assured of what he said.
“Then let’s go.” Your breath came out in thick, curtaining billows. “Take me there, we can’t leave soon enough.”
A smile spread across his face and he leaned in to kiss you. You had vowed long ago you would go anywhere with him, do whatever it took to stand by his side. When he saw you, truly saw you, there was no turning back. Forever you two were locked together.
The night you ran, he made quite the grand spectacle of it. Of course Sirion had to let the whole world know, that was never a question in your mind. He took you from your home, glaring deep into the eyes of your family who had been holding you captive in your own home all this time. He stared at them, wishing them to burst into flames, but instead he let them live, peacefully as you had requested. Even as your father’s old gun rang through the streets, all you wanted was for them to be left alone
The carriage was an ornate one, one harkening back to the old days when the vampires had once ruled this land. There were no windows, so you could not see outside to where you were going. But there were jewels, or at least where jewels had once been. The empty settings seemed to plead for something to hold. The seats were luxurious, silk and down you assumed.
“It will take us a while to get there,” Sirion murmured.
You looked up from your exploring, catching the somewhat grim look upon his face. He raised his hand, showing the blood on his palm from where you fathers’s bullet grazed him.
Jumping up from your seat, you rushed to his side. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It is nothing to worry about,” he growled as you sat beside him, peeling away his cloak to inspect the wound. “I will heal fast. After all, at the moment, I am still full of you.”
Placing your palm over the wound, you glared into his eyes.
Sirion laughed. “Don’t give me such a look.” He languidly placed his hands over his face, hiding but a slip of his eyes. “Not when we should be celebrating.”
You huffed. “You haven’t rested either.”
Placing his long, heavy arm around you, Sirion pulled you in close. “I was far too excited.” He relaxed his body as yours drew closer. “It will be just us now. No hiding, no secrets, no shadows.” His eyes gazed up to the roof of the carriage where a starry night scene was painted. “A place of moonlight,” he breathed.
You were exhausted as well, and resting your head upon his chest was the most sumptuous pillow you could find.
When you woke, the carriage had stopped. You raised from the seat, rubbing your eyes as you gazed around. Outside you heard voices, Sirion’s was among them. As you opened the door and peered out, you saw a dark, endless scene of pillars and dark. The air was musky and cold, and echoes of water were all around.
“There he is.” Sirion’s voice guided you to his visage, standing in the light of a torch. “Come,” he beckoned to you. “They will be taking care of you.”
“For what?” You frowned, looking at the tall, pale woman before you and her short, somewhat hairy companion.
Sirion held onto your shoulders and chuckled. “To prepare you for your new life, of course. To be my groom.”
Your heart pounded, taking another look at the couple before you.
“I’ll be fixing your hair,” the man said and spit to the side.
The woman smirked, amused by the man’s behavior. “And I have clothes for you, Sirion requested a lavish wardrobe for you, my lord.”
The pulse of your heart was likely noticed by everyone in your presence. “Really?” You looked up at Sirion in awe.
“Really,” he chuckled. He pushed against your back. “They will take care of you, and I will rest.”
You followed the man and woman, taken to a bunker-like building. Inside was lavish in a pauper type of way. Things that had once been grand mixed with others that looked stolen or upgraded.
The man had you sit in a chair while he took out a glimmering silver razor and scissor set. In a rage, your father had lopped off your hair, leaving it uneven, in hanging chunks, and skin close patches. You were relieved to feel the hairy man’s scissors snip away and the cold of the razor against the back of your neck.
Meanwhile the woman pulled out a trunk, an extra package set aside upon the top which she opened. Inside was a dark red and black suit. The material looked familiar to you, but you couldn’t place it.
“There now,” the man turned you in the chair. “How does that look?”
The mirror was broken, but you still appeared in it just fine, unlike the man and woman. Your hair was masculine, swooped to the side and the flowing front tucked behind your ear and the sides shaved short due to your fathers assault. It was how you always wanted to look. You looked like the man you knew you were.
“That’s amazing,” you whispered, touching your face.
The woman then approached from behind. “And your new wardrobe is even better!” She said excitedly. “Come, come, you must get dressed.”
The man walked off, going to prepare something in the corner while the woman dressed you. She took note of the bite mark on your thigh, giving you a wink and a smile. She dressed you in the fine suit, making sure the hems set right and everything fit.
“Perfect! The measurements were precise.” She moved you to the mirror again, showing you yourself. The suit hugged what it needed and hid what you didn’t want. You looked like the vision you saw in your head, the one that never had appeared to you before. Tears came to your eyes.
“I knew it! I did it!” The woman clapped her hands together then turned to the man, taking from him a silver clutch. She opened it, showing you the needle inside. “Sirion will know the rest,” she whispered to you. “He always provides.”
Still in tears, you weren’t sure how to respond.
The man and woman finished your meeting by giving you food, which seemed a bit jumbled, but you were hungry so the meal didn’t matter.
Afterwards, you were presented to Sirion, whose grin could have matched yours. He ran up to you, scooping you up and tossing you about in the air.
“My dashing prince!” he announced loudly and proudly. “Look how you shine!” He hugged you to his chest, his long fingers grasped around your head. “I knew you were meant for the finery of the vampires.” He smoothed his palms down your collar. “I had her make this from the suit I was wearing when we first met.”
That’s where it seemed so familiar! You beamed from ear to ear, even larger than before. “I love it,” you breathed into his chest. “Thank you!”
He stroked your hair, feeling the closely shaved sides with a delicate touch. “From now on, you will be seen. I promise. Where we are going, you will only see your best self.” He then laughed. “We don’t use mirrors much, but I have one just for you.” He bent down, kissing you. His lips were cool, but you had grown to love that feeling.
Once in the carriage again, Sirion had you in his lap, his hand in your pants touching you, feeling your desire from him grow.
“Seeing you like this, it makes me feel alive again,” he chuckled into your ear. His voice was breathy, deep, full of longing. “I cannot wait for us to make love for the first time.”
You moaned, fidgeting a bit in his lap. His fingers curled, eliciting a deep moan from your lips. “But we have.”
“Not like this,” he growled. “Not in freedom.” His fingers were slick, making wetter sounds as he moved. “I doubt I can hold myself until we reach safety.”
“You don’t have to,” you gasped. “We can-” You kept losing your breath from his touch. “We can do it now.”
Sirion breathed something of his old language into your ear. “I would enjoy that very much.”
Enjoy the rest as a free member over on Patreon!
#exophilia#teratophillia#monster boyfriend#monster romance#monster lemon#monster lover#terat0philliac#terato#vampire romance#vampire#trans reader#ftm reader#vampire x reader#vampire x human#paranormal romance#fantasy romance#romantasy#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writers and poets#momolady monsters#my writing
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Something New Part 2
[I didn't expect to turn this into a multichapter story... but here we are. Anyways here's more of baby Dante. That is the baby's name. Also shout out too @earthfire-75 for giving me the idea to highlight Spite's dialog in purple. Genius.]
Lucanis held the newborn against his chest as he read his book. One of the few moments little Dante was quiet and sleepy, Lucanis was going to take advantage of it to get some reading in.
Spite was sitting on the couch a few feet away from where Lucanis was standing. Just silently watching the infant. That’s all he’d done the past 4 days since the baby was born.
“It doesn’t do anything.” Spite complains.
“My son is not an it.” Lucanis corrects him, seeming annoyed.
“It doesn’t care what I call it.” Spite said, appearing much closer to him. Lucanis held onto the infant a little tighter now watching Spite rather than his book. He was feeling a bit uneasy, much more than he has in a long time with Spite.
“You think I would hurt it?” Spite asked, more of an accusation than a question.
Dante started to wiggle a bit, readjusting his tiny body. Both looked down at the infant. “You just seem very irritated with him.” Lucanis says. “I’m being cautious.”
Spite was visibly annoyed at that, offered even. Instead of continuing though the demon just let out a huff and vanished. Retreating into whatever part of Lucanis’s mind he would hide in when he wasn’t getting his way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“He’s so quiet.” Teia commented, looking down at the baby that Rook was holding. Dante’s little face scrunched up at the sight of a new person. Teia just laughs and Rook sighs but is still smiling.
Rook had taken a short trip to the casino to visit Teia, the first time she’d gotten out since Dante was born. “He’s not usually this quiet.” Rook tells her. “He was crying all night.” “That’s pretty normal from what I heard.”
“I know.” Rooks says quietly, looking down at the infant. Dante had become very wiggly during their conversation and Rook tried to adjust how she was holding him. “I might have to write to my mother and apologize. I don’t know how she did this four times.”
Teia quietly laughs at that. “How has the demon been handling all this?” She asks, sounding a bit more serious.
Rook had started to notice Teia rarely ever referred to Spite by name. Usually calling him ‘the demon’. Rook was tempted to correct her but she was too tired to care that much. It was a topic for a different day.
“Oh Spite.” Rook says quietly. “He’s been… curious. Confused mainly though. A bit frustrated but he usually is when he doesn’t understand something.”
Teia looked a bit concerned at that. She had seen Spite in a fight and how he could get when he was “frustrated”.
“He’s not-“
“No.” Rook quickly says. “He’s just confused. It’s fine. He just needs time.”
Teia didn’t seem any less concerned by that answer, but she also didn’t want to argue about it. “Just… if there’s ever an issue, me and Viago are here.” She reminded Rook.
“Thank you, but I’m not too worried.” Rook says, smiling a little.
Part 3: Coming Soon
Part 1: Here
#dragon age veilguard#veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#da spite#lucanis x rook x spite#rook x lucanis#rook#inky laidir#lucanis x rook#teia#viago gets a mention#andarateia cantori#crows#dante dellamorte#my writing
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🕯️ THE RITUAL HAS BEEN COMPLETED AND I AM SUMMONED BY @emmg 🕯️
WIP ✨WHATEVER✨
I have a lot of Emmrook things in mind that I want to write (I made a list!), but I only have one brain and one dominant hand for writing, so I’m just dawdling away at my leisure.
Currently I’m working on my take on a scene that would take place directly following the end of the game because BioWare hates us and decided we don’t need any closure for our Rooks or their love interest aside from some vague ‘live, laugh, love’ bullshit epilogue slide.
Rook works their fucking ass off the entire game and is basically the emotional sponge for everyone else’s issues, pushing themselves beyond what’s healthy to see their goals through. Emmrich remarks on it on at least two separate occasions, so I think my Rook would probably find herself in a position within hours of everything concluding where her body and her mind just stand on the brakes and say, “Nope! We’re done! We cannot and will not do any more things until you take some time to recuperate!”
And who’s going to make sure that happens in the most romantic, wholesome, and slightly stern but sexy way?
Emmrich, of course 🤍
Also, I’m reverse uno-ing @emmg because I want to know what you’re cooking. LET ME INNNNNN.
I’m also tagging @allofthebarks because she said she has things she wants to write but the writing just isn’t coming, so comfort yourself in my clumsy, unedited WIP and just write A Thing. Dooooo it!!!
Veilguard End Game Spoilers Under The Cut
Cheering and accolades followed them through the ruined streets of Minrathous, and Amina took the time to ensure that no waiting hand was left unshaken, no hug went unreturned, and no condolence went unoffered. It took them nearly two hours to make their way to a damaged but still structurally sound estate secured for them by the Shadow Dragons but as far as she was concerned, it was time well spent.
As the ornate doors of the manor closed behind them and the cacophony of their victory was muffled, Amina took two steps into the manor, bent at the waist, and splattered the floor with the contents of her stomach.
Emmrich was on her in an instant, holding her long black hair aside with one hand and stroking comforting circles on her back with another.
“What’s happening? What’s wrong with her?” Taash demanded, taking a step forward. Her voice was distant - drowned out by the screeching whine in Amina’s ears.
She felt her legs wobble and give way, her armoured knees colliding roughly with the ground as she threw out a hand to steady herself, not caring that it landed right in her sick: everything was too much. Too loud. Too bright. Too… real. It felt like she was being driven out of her own body like a wayward spirit, her essence clinging desperately to whatever it could hold onto to tether her here.
Just as distantly, Amina could hear Emmrich respond to Taash but his words were lost on her as she wiped her mouth with the back of her arm and lurched clumsily to her feet.
“Harding - I need to go to her mother—“ Her voice broke: she hadn’t had time. None of them had had time to tell her mother about Harding’s death before Elgar’nan forced their hand.
She clenched her teeth at the sensation of hot tears cutting through the accumulation of grime and gore and sweat on her face, snarling defiantly through the deluge of agony crashing through her… breaking her from the inside.
There’s still work to be done…
She was pulling away from Emmrich, her course uncharted but steadfast: she needed to go. Somewhere. Anywhere. It didn’t matter, as long as she was doing something… as long as she was helping. But no matter how she pulled and tugged, he wouldn’t let her go: lithe as Emmrich was, he wasn’t weak by any stretch.
With some effort he managed to put himself in front of her, gold rings clinking against silverite where he gripped her shoulders before pulling her tight against him.
“Breathe, darling.” He instructed, enshrouding her diminutive frame in his own. “I need you to breathe… can you do that for me?”
She managed an anguished sob in reply but nothing more: any attempt to draw breath was met with unforgiving resistance as her airways slammed shut in seeming rebellion of life itself.
Arrangements need to be made - things need to be taken care of, and I’m the only one left to take care of them.
No. First I need to breathe.
“I’ve got you: you’re safe with me.”
More tears rolled down her cheeks as her eyes clenched shut and she forced a thin, ragged inhalation into her lungs.
“Well done, darling.” Emmrich encouraged, ever calm, ever heartening. “Now let’s try for another one, shall we? I’ll do it with you. Let out your breath on the count of three: one… two… three…”
She felt Emmrich contract against her as he slowly exhaled with her. None of this was new to her: Nevarran breathing techniques were required learning for Watchers. Claustrophobia could present unpredictably, and if one found themselves turned around or overwhelmed in the Necropolis, being able to stay calm was vital to survival.
“Perfect. Now another breath in…” He waited while Amina drew another shaky breath then loosened his hold on her to gently cup her cheek. Within moments she could feel the familiar soothing tingle of Emmrich’s magic coursing intimately through her, seeping through her nervous system and providing some relief.
“Emmrich,” she rasped, clutching at his chest. “I… I need to—“
“Do absolutely nothing.” He interjected sternly, his voice absent of any playful familiarity or scholarly flair, though it softened almost reflexively as he continued. “You’ve overextended yourself, Amina. You’ve been overextended for some time, but you pushed through to see this to the end - and you have - but my love, you can’t evade the reality of what you’ve been through indefinitely… you need to rest and take time to come to terms with things.” He drew his thumb over her cheek, speaking to her like she was the only person in the room.
“But—“
“All that needs to be attended will be seen to: Lace’s mother will be informed of her sacrifice in an appropriate manner, and the… actions of the Inquisitor will be communicated to the south.” He hung on the word ‘actions’ seemingly unsure of its accuracy but ultimately too focused on Amina to care.
She opened her mouth to argue, but likely having anticipated this from her, Emmrich spoke first.
“You’ve done so much and helped so many without asking for anything in return… please let me be the one to help you in your moment of need?”
His eyes searched hers, soft and pleading, and she studied the face of the man she loved: each pleasing curve and angle that she had committed to memory etched on her heart. The crinkled lines at the corners of his eyes, and the creases around his familiar mouth spoke of years of smiles offered to comfort and soothe.
He was filthy too, and his hair was limp and disheveled, strands of it hanging into his face… but oh Maker how she loved him…
“I love you…” He whispered for her ears alone, his lips ghosting over hers. “And I so look forward to reminding you of that fact every day for the rest of our lives… so let me begin now: let me take care of you.”
#wip#wip whenever#dragon age#datv#da:tv#veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#da:tv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilgaurd spoilers#datv spoilers#emmrook#emmrich volkarin#emmrich x rook#emmrich romance#v writes
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Vil Schoenheit x fem!resder smut READER IS NOT YUU/MC
mirror play, praise, fingering, this is all about feeling good about yourself. reader is kinda chubby 🩷
You always hated how you looked. Everytime you looked in the mirror you saw your definition of the word 'ugly', and nothing you ever did could change the way you felt.
Nothing except him.
You don't know how you ended up in a romantic relationship with the word definition of 'beauty' but you did, and he has never treated you wrong. While it is true that Vil cared for appearances and would do whatever he could to hone his own beauty, never did he make any rude or mean comments about your body, about your fat. Rather it seemed like he was rather fond of it.
So fond of it in fact that he had to teach you the truth of your own beauty.
So here you are, on Vil's lap, on top of your bed looking straight at the mirror that was placed in front of you. "Look at yourself for me" he whispers into your ear, "every bit of you is beautiful." His hand makes small movements on your thigh, right in between the area of your pussy. And the other takes place on your left boob, prodding a little bit as he makes sure to touch you properly. The hand that's touching your thigh slowly starts to move upwards, towards your soft and wet privates. "B- but look at me.." you say "I'm not a good sight." You feel like crying, you don't feel as if you deserve such delicate and loving treatment. "Yet you're wrong." it isn't said as just a sentence of pity, but the pure truth. You can feel Vi's fingers start to massage the warm area "I'll make sure that by the end of our session you'll understand this completely."
The other hand that was toying with your chest made it's way a bit lower right where the reason you two are having this session to begin with, your chub. "Just look at it" he tells you "I love how soft you are," he pressed down on your stomach a little. "I love how it looks on you," he rubbed his hand on top of it. "And most importantly, it's a part of you." he says as you can feel, and see, the way his fingers sild in. "It defines you as a person" he goes in a slow pace, "a very ugly person" you tell him. He stops everything he has been doing at that moment and gives you a disappointed and angry look. "No, you aren't." his fingers go in deeper as he says that, clearly upset with your words. "I want you to look right other there," he points at the mirror and then brings his hand back to gently massaging your belly, and continues with his sentence "and tell me exactly what you see."
Vil starts to finger you faster while he awaits your answer, looking right at you through the mirror that displays your beautiful form.
"I- I see a hideo- why'd you stop!?"
"It seems my instructions weren't clear. I want you to say the most pure truth there is."
"But-" "No buts."
"I see a beauti- beautiful woman ah-" he picks up the pace as he hears the words the spill from your mouth, "a woman who l-oh-ves herself and her b- body" the longer this goes the closer you get to finishing, "who h- has the most beautiful boy- boyfriend in the world and she des- deserves him!" and you came.
"See? Now that wasn't that hard, now was it?" Vil smirks at your fucked out face "now, do you think you me to teach you another lesson?"
#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twst wonderland#vil schoenheit#vil twst#vil smut#twst vil#vil twisted wonderland#vil x reader#vil schoenheit smut#vil schoenheit x reader smut#twst vil schoenheit x reader#chubby reader#x chubby reader
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Can you make a fanfic of Gabriel Medina where reader is an f1 driver and their dating and reader wins the Brazilian gp where his the one waving the flag and it’s all cute and fluff sorry if that didn’t make sense had the idea but didn’t know how to word it
Omg yes!!! ☺️☺️☺️☺️💞💞💞
10 DAYS OF REQUESTS
(DAY 8)
Gabriel Medina x Reader - Waving Flag
I haven't written cute fluff like this in so long ☺️☺️
Enjoy! 🏁
"You're thinking about the race, aren't you?"
You shifted in bed. The hotel room was dark, but the light from the moon revealed your boyfriend's teasing smile. "So what if I am?"
His lips widened. "You should get some sleep, baby. The race isn't won in your mind. It's won on the track."
"Oh, yeah? And when did Gabriel Medina become such a racing expert?"
"Easy..." He said and bent down to kiss your lips. "My girlfriend is a racing driver. One of the best in the world."
"Is she? How many races has she won?"
"None this season. But you just wait and see tomorrow...."
"Tomorrow..." Tomorrow was indeed a big day for you. The whole world refused to let you forget that.
"Hey, where did you go?" Disturbed by your silence, Gabriel shrugged your body.
"I'm here." You whispered, your hands stroking the outlines of his face. "I just really want to win tomorrow, that's all."
"And you will." He shifted his weight onto you, his arms tugging you closer. "Trust me, baby, you'll beat them all."
"I really want to win." You repeated, more as wish than a statement. "It would make my family so proud."
"And me." Gabriel mumbled against your neck, where his lips had gone to attached themselves. It tickled when he spoke. "You're gonna make the people of Brazil proud if you win it tomorrow. And you will win it, baby. Trust me."
You closed your eyes and sighed, his hungry kisses tracing down your throat. Fiery kisses, that burned every inch of your skin.
"Gabriel, please." You gasped. "We can't."
"No sex before the race." You said shyly. "You know my rules."
His hands were searching for you under the covers, knuckles brushing over the fabric of your panties. "Why not?" He murmured, head still burried into the crook of your neck.
Gabriel lifted his head, eyes big in the night. "Your rules, huh?" He let his hands slip out from underneath the covers, respecting your needs. Gabriel always did. However, he resumed tracing feather like kisses up your arms, his lips a gift from God himself. "So no sex before the race...." He traced the kisses upwards, stopping to nip and lick the spots that he knew would make you squeal.
"No." You squirmed, stirring frantically below him. However, Gabriel's weight pinned you down against the matress, the warmth of his naked torso flat against your cheeks. "But if I win...."
He raised his head, eyebrows arched. "If you win?"
You grinned. "Then you can do whatever you want to me."
His head knocked against your chest, a deep groan rising from his throat. "Fuck, Y/N. You're literally driving me crazy."
"I am." You giggled. "I really am."
******************************************
Getting in the zone was the easy part. With Gabriel taking care of your family, you really had no distractions surrounding your garage. Your team took you through the usual race preparations, which you analyzed mindfully but also critically. Today, there could be no mistakes. Still, the atmosphere of the Interlagos circuit was of no other. You caught yourself glancing at the many faces of the cheering crowd. How they proudly waved the Brazilian flag, a flag you wore at the hip of your racing suit. It might as well have been attached to your chest because that's how much it meant to you.
The next day couldn't arrive fast enough. It was race day, which meant not as much media. All your focus was on the task at hand. To win the Brazilian Grand Prix.
Like you told Gabriel, it would mean so much to your family. The whole nation, really. To win your first home grand prix on the F1 Academy's first trip to Brazil would simply mean the world to you. You'd do anything to accomplish this objective, starting by focusing solemnly on that exact goal. To cross the line first.
Brazil was your home.
Brazil was your heart.
Today you'd show the world what a Brazilian racing driver could do.
Your heart was beating fast, like it always did at the start of a race. However, once your car had taken position on the track, the engine revolving to the countdown of the lights, there was no turning back. Either you sink or you swim.
Your gaze was narrowed from behind your vizor. Once your helmet was on, you were one with the car, man, and the machine. Correction: Woman and the machine. At the end of the day, that's what you all were, women, trying to prove themselves in a man's world.
Many men have told you not to do what you do. To not try to fix what isn't broken. However, you've only really cared about what one man thinks of you, and today, you were racing for him and him alone
"She's done it. Y/N takes the checkered flag as the winner of the Brazilian GP!"
The feeling was of no other. First win of the season and the first win at home. Although your eyes were dimmed by tears you were pretty sure that you saw your boyfriend over head, waving the checkered flag as you crossed the finish line.
What a day.
What a life.
And it had only just begun.
DON'T MISS - 10 DAYS OF REQUESTS
(DAY 1)
(DAY 2)
(DAY 3)
(DAY 4)
(DAY 5)
(DAY 6)
(DAY 7)
#fanfiction#gabriel medina x reader#gabriel medina imagine#gabriel medina#f1 imagine#f1#f1 x reader#brazil#brasil#10 days of requests#day 8
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It's just... odd to me, I suppose, going from "what is in my pants is completely irrelevant to most anybody else's life" to the expectation that you must be completely open, essentially, about what is in your pants.
I think a lot of people understand the general idea of why it's bad decorum to demand people offer explanations for private information like this, but they don't analyze exactly why it's bad besides, "asking directly is just rude" and not "asking in any way still enforces the often violent nature of gender and sex, and putting people in the 'right box' is a part of that violence."
It's especially odd when seeing other trans people enforcing the idea that "what's in your pants?" is a genuine, good-faith basis for interacting with others.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#what i mean by the last paragraph is... WHY does it matter?#if i lied to you right now about what is in my pants... how would you know OR how would you change how i am treated by you?#and also. i would absolutely rather lie about my *own* body than be put in danger because it is a trans body#if worse comes to worst i genuinely don't care if somebody is mildly insulted that i didn't 'trust them' enough with that information#it's just weird to see people go from 'only tell doctors that info; it hardly matters outside that!' to...#...'you need to tell ANYbody - even in social and platonic situations where you don't think it matters'...#...can you see how believing in the fundamental idea (that your sex and to extent gender is not your own and belongs to everybody else)...#...doesn't really mesh well with the idea that trans people should be able to live an autonomous life wherein their information is *theirs*#and can you see how for people who aren't trans but have an 'its complicated' with the broad 'what's in your pants?' would ALSO be hurt?#because even if you don't word it as such you still present the fundamental idea that - again - your sex and gender are required informatio#and that it must be judged to be 'accurate' so others can place you in whatever direction they want to treat you with#anyway lying about this shit isn't Inherently Evil and the idea that it's like. a boogeyman is weird actually
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random omegaverse thought:
There must be people who experience specific instinct things with indifference or boredom.
Procreative cycle coming up? "Crap, I've got plans this weekend...stupid skip weeks."
Caught an intriguing scent while walking? "But I need to get to work! Shut up brain."
Had a snap response to a distressed sound? "Who was it?! ...right, it's my day off, I can go back to sleep."
Somebody growled at them? "Kid, I'm not a rival, that's my sibling."
Super cozy cuddle session happening nearby? "I'm gonna pass tonight guys, no social battery left, maybe next time."
Group of friends heading out to flirt and check out other singles? "I'm coming with you but only to make sure you all get home safe."
Setting where fated mates or soul bonds or permanent marks are a thing? "Meh. I don't really want one or care if I ever get one."
People in the actual omegaverse would get as bored of their stuff, as we do of ours, you know? It could be interesting to see that kind of vibe in fics. Biological demands faced with all the excitement of paying bills or doing laundry or tying your shoes.
Even if that kind of energy might not drive a plot, it could be interesting to have as a contrast to the people who do have big feelings about them - good or bad.
There's the friends who can't wait til they have a pack of their own, and the one friend who isn't against it but couldn't care less. There's the group in the office who are all about scent compatibility tests and figuring out one's best match and what sprays most highlight it, and the coworker who has no intentions on putting that much effort in. There are parents who hover and protect their offspring by scenting them multiple times a day, and others who don't see what the fuss is as long as it's done in the morning.
...also: packs with introverts who show care by giving each other space. So often, closeness is depicted through physical touch and tactile affection, but comfortable silence is meaningful too. Knowing people are near, but not having to interact until you're ready. Sitting in the same room doing different things, knowing that all it takes is a "hey, look at this" to share what you're up to. People understanding and accepting each other's differing or fluctuating needs for how and when to recharge. Seeing somebody reaching out or sharing space, beyond what's their norm, as a signal of the fact that they care.
#omegaverse worldbuilding#a/b/o worldbuilding#a/b/o dynamics#kinda#not gonna tag sfw though it mostly is#heat/rut mention#twovvie chatters#hi its me im introverts#a version of me in omegaverse would love to live in a pack house#as long as i could have a space to myself#people nearby? good! people around all the time? uhhhh#even my family knows that after so many hours of fun family party#i'm gonna disappear to whatever room has the fewest people in it#or find a random corner and start reading#“oh! i didnt know you were here” yes that was the plan#also i just find the idea of someone#who couldnt care less about pairing up#to be funniest in a setting where that's a big deal#“too bad you havent found a mate yet” “no i already know who it is”#“congrats! when do we meet them?” “oh i didnt mean that i'm going to date them. i just know who it is.”#“but i thought you were single?” “yup.” “don't you want a mate?” “nah too annoying.”#cycle day? nice i get a free day off work#cycle day? ugh not this again#the duality of man (a/b/o edition)#granted i hc heats/ruts as heightened libido and greater fertility#because i dislike elements of heats/ruts that (imo) mess with people's ability to freely consent#if the only non-sexual options are pain or solitude and the species needs compaionship as much or more as regular humans#then not being able to or being unwilling to is like a punishment for those people#sure stress or other needs can short circuit it (irl) but theres plenty of reasons to not be interested that arent “you have a problem”#surely i'm not the only person who reacts to various body requests with “later i'm busy” right?
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would loveeee it if tumblr would stop giving me w.eight l.oss ads. it's making me paranoid
#cat meows#i cannot reasonably explain why because i Know it sounds crazy but like.#they Know i've probably gained weight and are Sending Me A Message. see. it's nuts.#i just have to not care about my body. it's whatever. i know where that leads#i won't be miserably mired in bulimia again. it took years to get out of that#but the ads aren't helping that or my mania paranoia#ED cw#in tags
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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Oh my God. People are reblogging a poem I wrote and posted when I was 15 years old lol.
#i have no idea how they found it#i saw someone liked it a few days ago and i was like. well weird but whatever#im not offended it's just a few extra notes#i keep my poetry blog at this point bc it's a helpful archive for me to look back on a body of my work#heaven knows i don't really need the attention#and if i did... well id just be shit outta luck wouldn't i#tales from diana#it's a free verse i wrote and posted in january 2015. i was a sophomore in high school!#im just happy it was one of my 'i have undiagnosed mental illness' poems and not 'im hopelessly in love w that senior boy' ones#those were my 2 themes back then. at least that i knew how to write sincerely#it's not that that was ALL i had for range. but it was all i really cared about lol.#how detached i feel now from that shy baby poetess. strange!#i read those poems and i remember writing them very well but they don't feel like me.#now im at the age where im more mature and my sense of self is more stabilized#and ive written literally thousands of poems so very often the act of writing one does not feel significant to me.#i look through my notebooks from my 20s and im like 'i don't remember writing this but thats definitely me'#strange. never be an artist
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trying to do some financial math for if i move out and getting sick to my stomach
#ohhhhhhhhh god. oh christ alive.#my problem is that my discipline used to be great when i was both severely depressed/agoraphobic AND unemployed#and stopped wanting for things altogether. not the case anymore#wanting for things usually being...eating during or after work or getting a ride to go somewhere nice for a bit. whatever#i think its...DOABLE theoretically but im like. um. nervous#asked my manager for full time hours which im already kicking myself over but well if i want to get out of here#and i do so so so fucking badly#then. things have to change#struggling hard. i hate change and i hate making decisions especially ones i have yet to tell my mom about#NUMBER of things keeping me from acting quite yet but thats probably the worst is the thought of telling her#i dont know...how financially me moving out is going to work for her and my brother (who also wants to move eventually)#and i dont...i dont want to leave them here to drown#but i cant DO IT ANYMORE MAN if i dont try to get out i never will and the despair of being stuck here has done IMMENSE damage#to me over the last few weeks particularly after being able to envision a future where things are different#thinking about getting out of here gives me the energy to do things. i want to get out. i NEED to get OUT#god i really should just start making the body of the post the title and then writing the tags where the post should go#this is not how blogging works generally. embarrassing. well it probably wont change because i dont care enough
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more bullshit
#this is such a good way to spend my time Im so fucking busyyyy#this also actually made me realise that its the second time ive drawn denmark as patrick/christian bale and its like. well its true but im#insane also#ive been wanting to do the fernanfloo meme for 50 years though because that most litearlly is already his outfit#but well anyways i got to give him a spiffy alternative fancy outfit that im kind of obsessed with#it may be that he doesnt have his stupid headband for 5 minutes or the bullet wound swagger but well i like him#litearlly no body is going to understand the context of the first meme until like. 6 volumes of my comic come out im crazy#well whatever. its for me ok.#i should have been working on my berserk drawing but instead.#my ranting#do you guys understand how long it took me to find the christian bale image without the goth bugs bunny i wanted to kill myself#then all i had to do was google ''christian bale so cunty'' and the second image on google was the fucking post...like goddd#''why is denmark in heaven'' well because the inbetween is all clouds so the backgrounds always are white please pleaspelaplseplease#i know i backed myself into a cornerrr thereee but pleaseee#Pleaseee#with that logic he should also be wearing completely white clothes unless theyre his normal outfit but i figured that would look Really Wei#Weird so i didnt do it#im aware no one cares and im inflicting these rules upon myself ok well the illness#...which is why i also tried to fit kyles binder beneath the dress which he would never wear bc of the dysphoria but i figured ok well. idk#the binder was built into the dress or something idk idk dont think about it too hard#''dont think about it too hard'' is the hardest thing 4 me. well i will think about it soo hard unfrotuantely#its 5 am#my art#kyle batillo#denmark newman#kar#it feels really weird to draw the 2 of them without ilya there. its like going to a hotel without the cuck chair.#like wheres my beautiful third wheel scowling in the background#cady will you tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back OK SORRY i should rewatch meangirls. for the millionth time#sad you cant see his giant gauges bc hair is covering but just remmeber theyre there k drew them.....
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Yesterday I was musing about how I haven’t really had a bad nightmare since I went on SSRIs and then I proceeded to have a full blown night terror
#it was so so bad on so many levels#in the first part of my dream i had ordered edibles and shroom powder to be sent to my house (not surprising; i would do this)#and they got delivered by a man who looked completely judgemental of me#but i didn’t care because there was a hot woman there who made me shroom tea#it tasted terrible but i drank it all anyway. and had a weed gummie. and she had a ‘weed patch’ as well that she was trying to get me to put#on my stomach. but i was worried it’d be too potent#since my actual body was sober; i didn’t feel any of the effects of this drug within the dream (obviously) but i was operating under the#assumption they were going to kick in so i was really anxious#then this woman was going through my stuff and she found dead bodies?? like dessicated bodies of multiple people#and i was like ‘i don’t know who the hell that is. i guess they belong to whoever lived here before’#we weren’t in my actual house; we were in like a massive old four-storey house with an attic which i think was where the bodies were#in the dream this was MY house#then for whatever reason i went on a trip with this person i used to be friends with to her childhood home#which was suddenly in a really creepy neighbourhood#she suddenly had a sister who was maybe 11 years old and catatonic due to being demonically possessed. and this kid seemed to be the head#of a cult basically. she had something called the ‘angel guard’ under her thrall. and when i asked what the angel guard were#my friend was just casually like ‘oh they bury you alive’ WHAT?????#then someone unpeeled the weed patch and smacked it on me and i woke up just as i was about to be buried alive#i think there was more to it than this. there was also a creepy woman but i can’t remember the significance of her#it was just such an unnecessarily scary dream. i woke up at like 6am TERRIFIED#i haven’t had a nightmare in so long lol i’m unequipped to cope. especially since my dreams have gotten so much more vivid#now that i’m medicated. i feel like i’m fine with the vivid dreams most of the time but when they’re this bad.. no#personal
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...
#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is#all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much#because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions#mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect#and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it#it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter#but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but#mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read#cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about#how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron#separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward#the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not#allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i#talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand#so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday#and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having#a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself#sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like#reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for.#the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it#doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of#ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put#myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing#unrelated
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