#i just have no motivation to go on tumblr rn cause of life

[ravensmadreads]

.

[minkschasijasi]

Yays, i’ve done it ! I’ve completed the fanart!! I love this scene so much idrk why I do, but when i read it i got instant motivation to make this >:)

(The scene is in one of the first 3-5 chapts i believe ,, micheal revisiting some old graffiti tags him and his brothers made , leo joining him.)

Ughggh these two are my life— all of the boys are aaeussnssfsfsf. At that point i was desperate for leo cause they all were seriously down in the dumps.

Also, i know the fic stated/implied that he was not at all transparent to both mikey and himself, but i didn’t know how to convey the fact he’s just kinda a spirit rn. So he’a just a taaaad bit transparent.

Also, theres paint splatter on the floor of when leon made a mess back when, everyone’s colors are there,, you might have to look hard to find it tho :p

~~

@dandylovesturtles <- Ao3 author’s tumblr! Go check them out :d

I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good <- Fic name!! It’s on Ao3, I recommend this fic it’s just so good !!

[robiinurheart33]

Thanks for the tag @sergeantwoods !! I went a little crazy on the questions lols,,,

1. how many works?

Honestly no idea lmao (if ur talking on ao3, I don’t have an account there, but I’ve been thinking about it.) (14 wips atm)

2. Total word count?

Again, no idea LOL! My actual works have been around 1K ish per post? So id say in total maybee 10k?

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Currently, COD. I wanna expand more soon though, so stay tuned in the far, far future

4. top 5 fics by kudos?

I’m gonna list down my fav fics of all time (multi fandom) if im reading this correctly

1. Anything by buzzcut_season really. Their writing is spectacular and made my heart clench on so many occasions. My personal GOD of writing fluff. And the person that got me through the hells of teenage puberty.(for the record, i am still in puberty lmfao) my firsts in the tag tooth-rotting fluff and the magics of slow burn. (Sk8 the Infinity)

2. Neon Void by sugarpastels. The creator is here on Tumblr with the same user so if you wanna check her out go ahead!! FANTASTIC writing, villain Leo au with heart pounding scenes that leave me dizzy. A fic has never made me breathless and needing to pace around my room more than this one (special shoutout to her sister as well who is writing a mutant mayhem fic that unfortunately didn’t get added to the list but is still super well written!!) (ROTTMNT)

3. Anytime You Need Me by thirteenbullets. I really don’t need to elaborate more. Character analysis + fluff + non sexual intimacy + long fics… it’s the perfect series for me. I felt like a stuck gold when i read this. (COD)

4. The Eldest Brother by dEBB987. Classic 2012 x 2018 crossover, but it doesn’t have ooc and is just such. A. Fun. Read. Made me giggle and kick my legs more than one occasion and good family feels all around. (TMNT)

5. Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis by a_platypus. Old Leo comes back to the past after the events of the movie to readjust to new life. The right amount of drama with the perfect amount of slice of life. This fic actually gives the old turtle a break but also not letting go of the teenage angst and everything that comes with seeing your dead friends young and alive again. Would have been higher on the list but it’s not completed sadly. The author does write for COD as well though, and it’s worth to check it out! (ROTTMNT)

5. do you respond to comments?

Yes!!! I love love love it when people comment and try to interact if possible.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the panic attack Ghost fic. Haven’t written much angst if im remembering correctly. I’m a major fluff person

7. fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh god i really haven’t written a proper fic at all helps. I’m frantically swiping through my robs ramblings tag and just realising most of the ghoap stuff i write is about their undying dedication to each other. Jesus. Happiest ending is probably one of my blurbs cause every time i try to write actual fluff i overheat and explode.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Nope

9. do you write smut?

Nah. I don’t think ill ever write smut honestly not because im asexual its just that I don’t think I can write one accurately if that makes sense. Also im a minor I don’t think im allowed to do that

10. craziest crossover?

None yet

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully not, but if i have i would take it as a sign that I’ve made it as a writer. Unless it’s more popular than the actual post in that case burn it with fire.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Unfortunately and fortunately no. I would LOVE to collaborate, don’t get me wrong. But i would get so anxious about not disappointing the other person or procrastinating and motivation and all the works and just. Yeah I don’t have the mental capacity for that rn.

14. all time favourite ship?

Ooooooh

ghoap, renga, ineffable husbands, solangelo (Off the top of my head rn)

15. what’s a wip that you want to finish but doubt you will?

THE SECOND PART TO DRUNK SOAP. OH MY GOD I NEED TO GET IT DONE ITS BEEN 2 MONTHS

16. what are your writing strengths?

I would say making everything just too dramatic and emotional

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. I can barely talk irl how am i supposed to write witty banter

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Love it. As a bilingual myself i love seeing diff languages it’s like a bonus secret for that language user

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles. That was when i was in my “i think this is so cringy of me and i hold myself back because of it” because wow. I reread some of it recently and it’s horrible it will stay and rot in my notes app. Although i will say it’s so nice to see how far I’ve come in terms of writing and just posting publicly in general

20. favourite fic you’ve written?

The drunk soap one and the Ghoap one where they’re on stakeout together. I didn’t like the second one initially, but i think slaving over it worked. I love how I managed to balance the quietness and mutual respect and fondness of each other.

If you couldn’t tell, i had a lot of fun answering these questions haha

If you’ve made it this far, congratulations!! You know more about me than the average online follower 👏👏👏

[wakanai]

An Odasaku and Dazai edit

(btw to the 2 poor ppl I tagged, no need to watch. I just credited yall for intellectual inspiration. its in the description, don't mind me. just keep scrolling ty 😄👍).

Audio from: https://youtu.be/FxuUVwWmuzc?si=KdNSBkMjWRYJx5Gq

(random rambling incoming) :

Okir rrandom backstory cause I feel like sharing to the void. School break is coming to an end soon (:')) and I feel like I've wasted a lot of time (to be fair though, I still have 3 days JEDJJS) but anyways. yeah today I slept until around 2 pm. I was more productive and better today than the past days. I bought "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren and it was good, watched a motivational video on youtube, did some things, etc. (omygoodness I'm just rambling 😭

BUT ANYWAYS.

I've been making this edit for a while now (started it prob a few days ago) and decided to finish it today.

But like, it's funny. Cause something triggered me to finish it.

So yk how I slept until 2 pm today?

Well...it's 5 am rn and I'm still awake so like 😭😭 (don't follow me, it's not good).

But okay, so it's around early in the morning. I'm scrolling on tumblr. And I see my (probably) favourite blogger (sorcerersand...) rbing smthing odasaku related. I fangirl for a little bit - then decide to finish the edit (just because of that LOL 😁😃). Ok so I finished it! <33

So like, ofc making an edit requires some input/knowledge abt the subject, right?

Well, I'm going to credit @sorcerersandskillusers and @cousticks

for giving me some insight on Oda and Dazai's relationship - - which influenced me a lot while making this edit.

They have rlly good analyses abt not just odasaku but bsd in general - so check them out if u want. it's rlly good 👍👍👍👍

[omyglobb, this is so embarrassing 😭😭

don't mind me pls ty.

im on my phone debating if i should tag or not but whatever. dont mind the little fan and keep scrolling ty 😃👍 u dont need to watch the edit pls pls pls 😭 ]

Ok now that I'm done shamelessly rambling and its 5:30 am and I might regret this later, um.. lets go. 🏃

[charmac]

helllooooo i am absolutely obsessed with your macden sugar daddy fic. i’m not kidding when i say it has become a household name for me (in the dms with my poor, dear friend who does not even watch sunny. i have, and will continue to, bombard her with messages such as: “the macdennis fic i’ve been creaming over hasn’t been updated i’m in shambles” and thankfully you did update after that).

i went through your tumblr for a bit and saw in one of your responses you mentioned feeling a lack of encouragement to write when it feels like no one is actively requesting so i suppose this is my formal request. i am quite literally so emotionally invested in this fic. this is my high class literature (as a lit major). this is my magnum opus and i’m talking about the experience of READING it, not trying to imply this work is in any way mine.

i have sooo much i’d like to say about it but i get so scatterbrained when i think about it. i read the entire thing in one sitting and was in agony when i finished. then you updated on christmas and i read the entire thing AGAIN and i keep going back to that most recent chapter where (spoilers ig!) mac calls dennis daddy because it simply /felt right/. because he felt /safe/? oh i’m on the floor and begging for mercy. you’re brilliant. this story is brilliant. i’m a mess.

if you ever feel like people might not be interested: listen to me when i say your writing has permanently altered the chemistry of my dna and has conditioned me to check ao3 every single day with bated breath HOPING there’s an update. i love it. that’s an understatement. i LOVE IT.

i would also like to clarify that if you ever run into issues with writer’s block or even simply losing the excitement over this specific story, pls don’t feel obligated to write something you don’t want to. it’s your life!! i saw your 2023 update post and it seems like a fucking fantastic one at that, so live it to the fullest and do what you want!!

i think you’re neat. i think your writing is what leads good men to ruin (like me. i’m supposed to be reading jane eyre rn and all i can think of is your fic) /pos. truly my favorite source of sunny content across all your sunny social media.

question that i do apologize for asking if you’ve answered: the title is a fall out boy reference, right? big fan of that band. if it is, can i ask for details on the inspo?

thank u for your service solider o7

p.s. this was so needlessly long so sorry for bothering lmfaoooo but i had to say this somewhere and i think my friend is tired of hearing about the fanfic on a ship for a show she doesn’t even watch

First off, thank you so much for this, and second off don’t apologise for writing too much to me after you’ve seen the word count I spew out at random. I really appreciate your words, and I’ll tell you I’ve been in so many similar positions where I’ve been obsessed with a fic and had no one in it to relate to and have just ended up spamming a close friend instead, so to hear that’s done about my fic is really, really cool.

About prior asks, etc. I think I get down on myself a little, when I say I don’t get why people are reading or what they like and it’s hard to find motivation, it’s really just kinda my own internal struggle with all of that. (Also, I keep answering those when I'm drunk, my bad.) I get what I’m doing and what I’m writing, but I wanna make sure the audience does too. But you’re reading my words, so you must, even if you can’t (or just, don’t want to) sit down and go line-by-line of a 23k word chapter and tell me what’s going on.

Cause, I couldn’t sit down and write a full detailed list of every new episode of Sunny like that. Like, I just straight up couldn’t when they dropped. My reviews were like ‘5 stars, keysmash’ So I think there is something to be said about people really liking something, really wanting more, but maybe not having the words to vocalise or not having the time to vocalise why that is.

About wait times, updates, etc.. It is mainly about motivation, and like you’ve said I would never put out something just to put it out if it’s not reflective of what I want it to be (and know it can be). I mean, I’m not on a real deadline and I’m not getting paid, I'm writing this first and foremost for myself, so why would I rush it? Sometimes I can write thousands of words in a day, if the spark hits, but sometimes it can take months to fully form when it’s just me in my head and I still have to do shit in my daily life. And maybe I could do something to speed up that process, but I think my best work forms this way. But it does make updates painfully slow for you guys, and I apologise, cos I get that sucks.

Though, it is also spurred by external motivation: people pointing specific things out, telling me why they like something or what they see under the surface here, that stuff actually gets the gears in my head turning, back in focus. The ‘waiting for an update’ ‘pls write more’ isn’t motivation, it’s demand. (And understanding there is demand is definitely a motivator, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not a spark, it’s a push.) So the balance there is sometimes hard to match, I understand there is demand (though after Ch 7 or 8 whatever it was I genuinely thought maybe there wasn’t), and I appreciate being told that, but it can only go insofar as I have the motivation to bounce off of it. Sometimes, that’s literally just my own issue and no one can help me. You (not you, specifically, anon) just gotta trust an update will come... and if you fall out of care for Sunny in the meantime, oh well. Know I won't, lmfao.

About the Title, well, no one actually has asked me... I don't think (maybe 'cause it seems obvious?). I guess the answer is.. kind of? It is a lyric pulled from the Fall Out Boy song, but, well, a meme says it best:

The inspo is kinda what's written on the tin, wanted a title that makes it clear what it is. Don't read too much into the baseball metaphor though, it might hurt you a little in the spoilers department, if you think we're just purely having fun here...

Thanks for the ask, really really appreciate it, and knowing people like you are reading and enjoying my fic is awesome :)

[yantao-enthusiast]

hey y’all so i’ve been worried that i’m overreacting and questioning whether i should bring it up with my therapist because i’m starting to have suspicions about if i have chronic fatigue? but also i’m wondering if it’s just the depression or anxiety (i’ve been officially diagnosed with those) that’s been causing me to be so tired within the last few years? after talking it through with one of my best friends, i’m like is it just hormones? is it my horrible and inconsistent sleep schedule? is it just because i’m lazy?

so i’m just gonna put my symptoms into a post and see if anyone on tumblr has anything to say (not that it really counts as an official diagnosis or anything but it’d be nice to have some feedback from people who have chronic fatigue or are experienced in the field yk)

anyways so as stated earlier i’m like known for my horrible messed up sleep schedule. it’s never consistent though it’s been getting better recently imo! though when i wake up i’m still at least somewhat tired, like i have a dull headache, or before prozac, like my eyes were aching. it takes me hours to get out of bed unless i have something to do because even that feels like a chore. i can hardly bring myself to do things like eat even if i’m hungry or consistently shower or brush my teeth most days (to the point of my teeth rotting actually) let alone do chores (which lord knows my mother has complained about for like a decade).

i actually had to drop out of high school because i was just so tired and hardly felt motivated or had the energy to go to school which i had chalked up to depression. ever since middle school actually, i’ve been tardy and truant probably half the days, to the point where a social worker had to come and see me after a 30 day absence from school. and days when i did go to school, by the end of the day i was falling asleep on my backpack in the car line. and even now when i’m not even in school at the moment due to being afraid i won’t be able to handle the workload of college, i still get tired walking around a large grocery store or just in a long car ride. for probably over half my life i feel as if i’ve been disassociating and tired even after the 8 hour recommended rest.

also idk if this is relevant but light sensitivity was mentioned when i googled it but it feels like sunlight has always made me tired? like i always chalked it up to me being more nocturnal from associating daylight with stressors like school but i thought it might be relevant to mention idk.

oh and also it feels like my muscles are always cramped like if you crumpled up a piece of paper then tried to straighten it again and mostly in my back. like it doesn’t bother me too bad but it’s not exactly pleasant

i’m just worried because it feels like i’m trying everything to combat my depression and even now i don’t think it’s that bad rn so i genuinely don’t think it’s just me holding myself back mentally? i don’t know if i need stronger medication for my depression or if there’s something else like chronic fatigue happening but i thought i’d ask to see if anyone has any insight or advice on if it’s worth bringing up to my doctor or therapist ?

[toxicanonymity]

Hey... so I think u r so amazing at writing dark but still emotionally complex and redeemable characters! i.e. Raider Joel.

Do u think u cud write a Dave York fic?

Also how old are, I don't mean it in a prying way but I am trying to understand how you write such complex and intricate characters.

Did u study writing or psychology? Where do you get inspiration for these characters and plots.

I am in awe!

Note to tumblr at large (I don't think anon thinks this, but i've seen weird takes before and want to avoid confusion about my own stance): I don't think characters have to be deep to be compelling or entertaining or good. Not all of mine are. People can like what they like and write what they feel like. imo, I'm not better or worse than anyone else, we just have different preferences, moods, etc. both as writers and readers.

Anon, tysm . 🖤 Raider joel feels seen, and I'm flattered by everything you've said and asked. Realistically, I don't think I have the bandwidth to make a new complex character rn, but I could possibly do something short later on, or if you wanted to try your own, that could be fun. I took psych 101 but have learned a little more by morbid curiosity. I've always had dark fascinations which has led me to spend many late nights reading macabre stuff (like nonfiction articles) and watching horror movies. Plus, let's just say I've always had a rich inner life somehow rejecting notions of what "should" interest me lol, so my mind has been tinkering with dark fantasies way longer than i've been writing or reading them. Writing insights below.

If you have at least some kind of vibe in mind, or even just an action or line of dialogue, you could start writing -- it doesn't have to be the story you want, it could be anything, like put him in a situation experimentally. Ex: Make something bad happen to him, what's going through his head? As you write, the stuff that begins to come intuitively could reveal a lot about the character that's buried in your head, and their identity and motivations could become clearer. If I have an idea of what they'll do, I might think to myself, why are they doing this and what causes them to rationalize it (if they do), and/or what causes someone to still [ex: accept? fuck?] them with their flaws and bad deeds. It could be something about either person or both. I won't usually spell these things out, but it will affect how they act together and on their own, how they experience things, etc.

Thank you again. And sorry I didn't respond to a prior ask about doing Dave, I was battling with myself. Also got a little shy on this one lol. When i don't respond i might be undecided, not sure what to say, shy, or it might be in my drafts which is now kinda eating asks sometimes too, ugh. 🖤 🖤 

[storiesofsvu]

https://www.tumblr.com/storiesofsvu/756561724151414784/ask-game-for-fanfic-writers

How about every integer of 10? 🙏🫡

10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90,100

(or less if that's too much)

ooo bless!

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles and how easy or hard is that for you?

fuck. i HATE titles. 99% of the time it's the very last thing I do and half the time i forget about it until i open tumblr to make the post. For one shots i generally read through it again and pick a phrase or repeating word and use that. For series: i'll usually pop onto discord with a brief summary and ask if ppl have ideas, otherwise i have a note in my phone of potential titles that are generally song titles or lyrics. i like my series titles to actually mean something and tie into the story whereas i dont give a fuck about the one shots LOL

20. what is your favourite trope to write?

forbidden love? we're gonna pretend that's a thing lol. like, stories have to have conflict and what's better than two people who wanna fuck/date/whatever and either can't or shouldn't, or like, their bosses would frown upon it, right? like, any and all degree of it, not particularly totally forbidden.

30. most inspirational quote you've ever read or heard that's still important to you.

christ. i cannot think of anything rn. My mind went straight to disney because there are so many things that light up my passion/motivation. the last time we were there we saw the "new" (lol) fireworks show and it had this little speech that was all "no go, let your dreams guide you, reach out and find your happily ever after" and it was kinda the resurge i needed at the time to be all "oh fuck, that's right, i just need to focus" as the old fireworks show had a bit that i like, wished on every fucking night and always made me cry about cause of how i related to it. wow i'm SO cool HA.

in high school (performing arts) certain people got to sign the theatre crossover wall at graduation and i got to and i singed it with a Fosse quote but i cannot remember it anymore for the life of me loll

40. best piece of feedback you've ever gotten?

bruh ive got no clue. i dont get/ask for feedback basically ever. esp recently people have been more just "omg so good" or "next part??" uhh... yeah, i dont think anyone ever has minus like a comment here and there with a friend when spitballing and i have a goldfish brain so i cannot remember.

50. do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind?

bit of both! for one shots it's usually just the prompt i was given/found and MAYBE a bit of a blurb scenario.

series: i will not start until i have a much more detailed outline and a rough idea of how it's going to end. nothing is specifically labelled and as i work on the story the outline gets longer, more fleshed out, sometimes there's full conversations or smut pieces in the outline and eventually ch's get labelled and sometimes it's like "ch 4, they go to this hotel and fuck" lol

60. where is the most dangerous place that you're written fic?

work. was stuck in the bar (that guests dont have access to) during service time with nothing else to do. my manager literally came in and teased me about not working and then later asked what i was working on and i said "fanfic, but that's all i'm telling you cause a lot o its real gay and real dirty" LOL

70. are you ever critical of your own writing? how much do you find yourself editing (either during or after the fact?)

i'm SO critical, but it's like, when i'm rereading it months down the road and it's been posted and too late to edit LOL. and it's mainly me just looking at old works that are SO trope filled and slightly cringe and include lot of the stuff that i no longer write.

I don't edit too much at all lol. I'll catch most typos or grammar while going/on a brief read through but it's VERY rare i'll actually go back to edit a full passage the next day or anything. Hence my very detailed outlines! i will edit from there to the fic cause i'll add to the outlines whenever something sparks in my brain and i know its good lol.

80. do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc in your writing?

uhh... no? LOL. sometimes i do, and sometimes they just end up there completely by accident.

90. do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

absolutely. why do you think there's so much profanity? LOL. but also as someone who writes mainly reader insert, there is a little bit of me in every yn i write

thanks for asking!! <3 (and that's never too much lol)

[ryuuthefluffybunny]

helloo :o im reviving my tumblr after years of inactivity because whyyy not ive been wanting an outlet to do tarot readings and im pursing a written format because videos are just not the vibe rn >.> so here goes 

*~some shadow work that would be beneficial for you~*

 theres going to be 2 piles to choose from and I’m using the hermetic tarot. I’m initially pulling three cards for wants, needs, and desires(one of my favorite simple spreads for myself, my go to) and then some motivational cards for closing advice. 

♡ Pile 1 ♡

Wants: Nine of Pentacles

Needs: The Empress

Desires: The Emperor

what i see is that you have a strong desire to see the seeds you have sewn in the past finally bear you fruit. you feel you have waited a long time to the point where you feel like ripping them while they are unripe. your lack of control in this process makes you feel anxious and powerless, causing you to double down acting extremely controlling and insensitive. it could be that money is a tender spot for you, perhaps you’ve experienced periods in your life where you had very little and you DID have to rip it from the tree early just to make ends meet and sustain yourself. you have both the emperor and the empress, representing a power and self mastery that is unrivaled in the entire tarot. yet your past hinders you from seeing this, or maybe even accepting it. a part of you feels unable to cope with this current waiting period because it could have cost you so much in the past. but now is different, you have grown so exponentially as a person and its time for you to truly embrace this. you ARE in control of your life, so you don’t need to overexert your power onto things, trying to rush against time. let this period of waiting be a lesson to you, to show you that good things DO come to people who wait. you have watered this plant every day so diligently. it is time for you to wait for the plant to do the work too, seeing how equal give and exchange with the world can bring you even more beautiful, fruitful results than you could have ever imagined. 

motivational cards: “I believe in you”, “Happiness blooms from within”

there is a need to work on the way you think about yourself. you lack a self belief to the point where it clouds your vision of the present. some good exercises for you would be to ground yourself when you are feeling powerless or even down and insecure. acknowledge the things you have achieved. maybe the voice in your head will tell you your achievements are small and insignificant, but this is not true. take the time to see how the ways you have progressed as a person have helped you in your life, to bring you to the point you are today. and remember that success is not defined by numbers-- money or followers or anything of that sort. success is progressing positively, even a little. when you first plant a seed, the first sprout is such an exciting and successful moment! and most importantly, you can never get to the flower if you don't get a sprout!

if you are interested in doing something more physical, there was a strong theme of growing plants here, and i would say that watering a plant everyday(literally) and meditating on how slowly but steadily it grows would help you build trust with the idea of equal give and take. you are the type to kick yourself for not doing enough, even when you're doing way tooo much. remind yourself as much as you can, you are enough! believe in the work you do and it will take you far on the path of prosperity and self love. good luck! ♡

♡ Pile 2 ♡

Wants: Seven of Cups

Needs: Four of Swords

Desires: King of Pentacles

this pile has a LOT of options in some area of your life, the word i am getting is opportunities. you are currently in this state of overthinking almost constantly. you feel you have to make a decision on what you are going to do/where you are going to go ASAP or shit will hit the fan and all hell will break loose. yet in all this thinking and forcing yourself to try and make a decision, you just fall deeper and deeper into a pit of confusion. your energy is just charging ahead aggressively, and there is a vibe that you are running from the past. sitting at this giant multi-fork in the road is making you feel extremely unstable. its like you are on a bike and you are trying to stand still with both your feet up, you feel like you will fall sideways into the ground. or that you are driving and at a stop sign and scared someone will pull up behind you while you don't know where to turn yet! but the reality of this situation is that rushing is not going to help you, even though this is going to make you soooo anxious. its time to step off the bike, and park on the side of the road. you have decisions to make and that's no simple task. there is this constant energy that you are looking behind you, that you don't want something to catch up because you wont be safe. like you have to go as far away as possible. its possible there are some things that have happened in your past that you felt controlled your life and there were all these rules set in place and now that you are finally gone from it you don't want to fall back in. the truth is you have left that situation in the dust! but it has left your sense of safety damaged as well as your ability to make decisions for yourself. decisions were made for you. you didn't choose, things were chosen for you. being in a cage became comfortable. the eyes that watched you so constantly made you feel safe. what you want is to feel independent, and free. but the first step to doing so is realizing that these feelings of the past are unhealthy, and weren’t meant for you forever. you feel paranoid now because its time for change, and that is never comfortable. you are a powerful and self sufficient being who IS ready to do whatever you want! and that means taking the time to ask yourself, “what do i really want?” what have you been denying yourself? do you feel like you are incapable? just plain bad so there is no point in trying? because that is what holds you back from identifying your true desires. you ARE capable, and its time you washed away any feelings from the past that tell you otherwise. 

motivational card: “Say yes to new adventures!”

the reality is that whatever choice you make is the right one for you. it might sound unrealistic, sure, but you live and you learn, and you have a lot of both to do! you don't need to feel rushed to make a decision because one might disappear either. if you don't catch it in time, it wasn’t meant to be, and that's okay! there is no one right decision that will make your life amazing. your life is a culmination of all the decisions you make, big and small. its absolutely ok to jump into things that make you excited, whether or not you are familiar with them. but most importantly, you have to take the time to see yourself for who you truly are and what you truly like. 

some exercises that would really help you are for one: napping-- and to extend off that, taking a couple minutes(or even seconds if you cant go for minutes yet) to close your eyes and let your body relax. listen to the sounds around you, and know you are safe to be who you want to be. finding places that bring you peace could be an adventure in itself. :3 when you find things you consider yourself to be bad at, pursue them wholeheartedly instead! if there are things you dont feel allowed to do, ~JUST DO IT~ you are allowed to explore and experiment with yourself, so find every mental chain you can and break them, one by one. and dont feel stressed if you cant finish this task quickly, its not easy at all. for some it can last a lifetime, but that is what it is all about. we live, we learn, and most importantly we find things that give us joy! so live your life to the fullest, walk where you please, hell, run if you want to. your life is for you and no one else. ♡

[yanisdoingstuff]

Introduction post!!

Hello to anyone who passes by. Here's a little tiny story of how I ended up here and what's this thing about. I have TL DR at the bottom, feel free to scroll.

So, Undertale fandom was my main for years now. It's my huge passion, I'm always excited to see anything related (Deltarune included). Also, since getting to know the game I've begun drawing a lot and now I hope to relate my life with art in some way. Especially animation!

A lot has happened recently. A little less than a year ago I've made up an OC to return to roleplaying community (which I was also into 'cause of Undertale). This OC since has been growing a ton. Also, I've got a new group of friends, we've been playing fan games together, I got to watch Underverse... And a bunch of other stuff. Being a probably-undiagnosed-with-something lil guy who quickly gets fixated on things, I got super excited and inspired. So...

Undertale:Embrace. The AU I mentioned above is getting something. Probably a combo of traditional animation like in Underverse, fake gameplay thingy like GG!Underfell (these projects are really influencing me recently) and crappy remix of original soundtracks since I don't know how to make music but have this image in my head I want to somehow show. So sorry if your ears bleed lol. Art is somewhat decent tho!

I can't really show much rn, yet I think I'm gonna post updates here and upload the completed videos on YouTube. I think creating this blog will somehow bring me motivation to keep going. Tbh I was reluctant for a long time, but now I realise that if we fans patiently wait for Undertale Yellow for 7 years or new Underverse episodes... you name it - then I have chances of getting attention even if I'm slow.

Basically, what I want is to share my art and see other people interested in my little guys. Oh, and the reason I chose Tumblr is non-existing. I just don't use any major social media besides my local one, and I don't have any following there. And I heard that Tumblr is somewhat supporting, so why not give it a try?

You're gonna see the first peek of my work soon and a basic explanation of the plot without spoilers. Have a great day and srry for stopping you for such a long time. I really wanted to spill this somewhere. PHEW, it helps so much.

TL DR: I've got a lot of inspo through the years, so now I'm working on my Undertale AU animations. I really appreciate it if you get interested in the future and support my journey. So stay tuned.

Bye-bye, have a great day out here!!

[listcners]

Serious rambling time cause ive already been feeling lonely and stressed out and burnt out and bad for the last like week.

Debating on dropping Tumblr rp again cause.. idk. Don't have the time or mental space for it rn. Desperately want to write or rp but I feel like my writings bad and that Tumblr rp just.... makes my mental health bad?

Like, I don't like Tumblr rp format. As much as I try. I like starters and just going off and seeing what evolves from them. But I don't like the short form? Like, I maybe get 20 notes into a rp usually less and it dies off. Like, that's no one's fault- we have lives, jobs, health, both mental and physical to deal with. I forget regularly about threads cause of add. But like, when I get really excited or involved in a thread and it just dies it really triggers RSD for me and makes me feel like I'm shit at writing or people don't like my style or don't like me and like I know it's not healthy cause I know that's probably not true but I can't help it? And it still hurts.

It's just, tumblr is so fast paced and there's always so many threads that I can't keep up or if I can I still get fixated on an idea and lose the motivation for other threads because I want to continue a specific one?

I like long form stuff, I like talking about potential plot and like talking ooc as I'm writing and that just doesn't really happen here on tumblr? And that's probably my fault. I'm not super outgoing. I'm nervous to reach out to people even if I desperately want to! I want to be closer with a lot of you! I wanna rp more with a lot of you! But I'm fucking terrified of putting myself out there and I'm frustrated at myself for that.

But I'm scared of making friends and losing them cause I've realized I'm losing friends just cause life is pulling me away from them and I honestly don't have a lot of friends anymore

It's gonna sound fucking dumb but I miss writing of Google docs. An old friend and I in an old fandom use to have Google docs that were 100s of pages long and we'd sit and write and it was so fun and exciting seeing their cursor pop up and ooc messages pop up in real time or you'd see a message waiting for you and idk.

I'm trying to get back into writing fic/dribbles because I'm desperately wanting to write to the point I've been upset that I'm not writing and I want to but I can't get myself to reply to the starters in my inbox which I think are the only things I have to respond to.

If I drop tumblr I won't be deleting the page, I'd just, not really be on it. Idk I probably won't but it's not like im on here much anymore unless I wanna look at art.

I honestly don't think I'll drop it cause I threaten it a lot to myself but I hate getting rid of things cause I'm getting rid of memories. And I don't like that.

Just needed to fucking word vomit because I've been crying like non stop most of today and I'm tired and keeping it all in was making it worse. Going to bed now cause my shoulder is still fucked and I have to work tomorrow long hours with no ac on a crowded and hot weekend.

[nandyrueman]

Feel free to ignore this post. Just using tumblr as a diary lmao

I’m such an emotional mess right now lmao. I won’t go into details cause this is fuckin tumblr but fuck I hate my life rn. I honestly feel like I can’t do anything right. I had a huge burst of motivation recently and I tried to get back into art and I tried to get back into reading and I tried to get back into writing but I just don’t have motivation to do anything. My place is a fuckin mess and I don’t even have time or energy to clean it. None of my hobbies are interesting me anymore. I don’t have time or energy to make another therapy appointment since I ghosted my last one on accident. I can’t help but feel like my entire life up to this point has been nothing but wasted effort and I don’t know what to do about it lmao. I’m working two jobs to barely afford a place to live and food in my stomach. I have a puppy that I didn’t even want and I have to take care of him because he didn’t ask for any of this and I feel so bad because I’m not home enough to care for him properly and when I am home I don’t have the energy to give him the attention he needs. I truly feel like everything I put effort into vanishes at my touch. I don’t expect anything from this post, just using tumblr as a diary lmao. I just wish I could vanish. I wish a freak accident would occur and I wouldn’t be at fault. I don’t want to die. I want to erase the very idea of myself and I know that if that were to happen only a handful of people would even notice and less would truly care. This last year I have lost several friendships for the simple fact that I can’t stay in touch and I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t want a friend that disappears every couple weeks for months on end just to come crawling back when they’re in despair. I feel like I’m a burden on everyone around me and I’m tired of this. I just want to stop ruining everything I touch. This weight is far too heavy for my shoulders and there’s no one to take any of this burden from me because everyone has this same weight to carry. There is so much going on in the world and everyone’s lives are so full so how can I be so selfish lmao. I hate that I feel this way and I know it doesn’t matter, but fuck. I just wish I had someone to pat me on the shoulder and tell me it’ll all be okay. I feel like a child that can’t even take care of themself. I feel like a child that was thrown into an adult world and left to fend for myself. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time I don’t know where my life is going. All of my plans for the future have been left in shambles and I don’t want to carry on. I don’t want to make new plans but if I don’t I’ll live this life forever and that’s the only thing worse than death I can imagine right now.

[ess-presso]

hi ess <3

miss taylor: dancing with our hands tied, blank space, & treacherous <3

ty for the fic rec <3 i love texting fics sm i eat em up everytime. here's one for u, operation: toebeans by moonymoment (cute lil wolfstar fic, they fuck around with minnie and shes so tired of them)

chatting <3

id love to see a massive colonel sanders statue irl. it would definitely be significant enough for people to make pilgrimages to it & in fact i think id visit it myself.

fuck san francisco (im sure its lovely) i hate it there (it looks kinda cool tbh). sadly we've already broken best friend code cause she lives in a different city for uni 💔💔 havent seen that bitch since the beginning of january and im losing my mind. but its fine i think i get to see her this month🕺

ah yes the only two requirements to date someone: be hot and funny. (no but fr thats it. the bar is so low)

hozier <3333 (yes canadian money smells like maple syrup!!! just the notes though not the coins. i wish the coins were scented too)

now for the jesus/judas au..... i think peter simply has to be judas. but for jesus i wanna say james because judas revealed jesus' identity = peter revealing james & lily's location (although sirius as jesus would be funny too with his long jesus-like hair & the way he kinda came back to life via escaping azkaban)

american harry styles scares me fr.

fuck seagulls like actually. they always steal my food at the beach while im swimming and i cant swim back in time to stop them. theyre public enemies around these parts.

oh god. an eighteen year old dating a fourteen year old while he has another gf...... so fucking gross. (someone free both those girls rn. actual leonardo dicaprio behaviour)

i got anne carson's sappho fragments book for christmas & i was gonna go ahead and annotate it but now i feel like i should wait until i have someone to annotate it for. or maybe ill just annotate it and then i can give it to my person when they come along <3

ur def right im the opposite of final girl material but i am impulsive and stubborn so i will explore the church if its the last thing i do. (it will be the last thing i do cause im gonna end up getting myself killed)

six cans of monster can cure anything & i truly believe that. even a horrible hangover.

philosopher's stone>>>> sorcerer's stone sounds so bad anyways. im glad canada isnt quite dumb enough to get the sorcerer's stone treatment.

all of my halloween costumes are pretty lame tbh. i was a bee for my first bday (hence my nickname) but ive been a witch, vampire, zombie, ghost, etc. nothing special really

u should definitely tell harvard. theyd be too stunned to deny u entry its foolproof.

i loved blowing things up in chem. truly my only motivation to go to class.

using music apps based on our fav colours thats so real of us.

i may not have gotten wingstop but i did see florida (jumpscare)

joey in season one <3333

infinite bag of money thats a great idea how did i not think of that.

u will be banker one day. im manifesting this for u.

tumblr will forever be the superior social media idc. this website is untouchable.

oh god that guys a mummy's boy...... freud would absolutely lose his mind. a field day.

i understand u. like sometimes ur drunk self has a mind of its own and will do random shit. ive cut my hair drunk and woke up very confused but at least i managed to not botch it!!!

love in the dark is SUCH A JEGULUS SONGGG oh my god. adding to my jegulus playlist right this instant.

omg listening to music while looking at art>>>>>> perfection. makes u feel so peaceful and cool fr. (WENDYS!!! i love wendys so much.)

ur completely right id rather be having a horrible time with liv than be somewhere nice with someone i hate. doesnt matter what we're doing or whats happening it'll just be better if shes there.

i love that taylor likes 13 like yes girl me too. but 13 is actually a lucky number in italy so my family has always liked it!

oh god james and lily im so sorry......im just glad i wasnt born in 1981 or else id be highly suspicious that im the reincarnation of one of them.

american and canadian accents are super similar unless we're talking southern united states or far eastern canada. they literally sound irish over there no joke.

drarry <3 i just love the angst. so many possibilities for them.

jily & jegulus <33 ur right, jegulus for the fics (theres just SO many good ones) but jily for the ships theyre just so sweet.

after that guy i swore to never watch a movie for someone i like ever again. (also mainly because most of the time the movie is SO BAD!!!!) but yes its so cute when ur watching something with someone and they tell u all about it <333

we kinda did have a lot of paint lying around! it was mostly just lil kid art sets with crappy cheap markers and pencils but they were fun. if i was lucky i was allowed to use my parents fancy stuff.

it was genuinely so funny like i wish i couldve seen the sock fall from the audience's perspective i bet it was ridiculous.

literally ezra/aria. it was so gross but at least it wasnt real.

rude old people make me so mad like how have u lived so much of ur life and still carry so much hate in u......get a life old lady!!!!!!

hermione & harry <33

its true dramione fics are better. romione fics are usually just as bland as they are in canon. still cute tho.

tote bags!!!! love em. and omg a pride and prejudice tote thats so cool. i have one with constellations all over it i love it sm. (but also tote bags make my shoulders hurt so bad i swear im gonna get scoliosis one day)

wireless headphones till i die!!!!! how am i supposed to clean my room while watching netflix or something with wired headphones. how am i supposed to cook with wired headphones.

omg a 2! alexa play lover by taylor swift. (im a 5, apparently the investigators. i do love solving a good puzzle so ill take it)

red nail polish 4ever. looks good with anything i swear. my fav is a dark wine red and its just perfect.

wait thats so funny. it sounds straight out of an episode of friends or something. (glad everyones okay!!!!)

THATS SO CUTE!!!!! AHHHHH! top tier gift fr.

also a top tier gift. signed copies of ur fav books + unabridged podg + museums???? a flawless gift.

THE EMMA QUOTE OHHHH MY GOD!! i love that quote so fucking much. those are all so good. quotes that make u feel completely unzipped are the best always.

that poem is so good wtf. "i fear no fate (for you are my fate my sweet)" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!! IM UNWELL.

i wanna visit the lake district so bad ohhh my god. it looks so nice. the air looks so crisp there.

the locket that is so cute im crying!!!!!! i have a pic of liv and i from when were like 3/4 grinning at each other and ive wanted to put it in a locket forever so u have inspired me thatll be her bday gift.

tigers are so cool thats an excellent choice. king of the jungle fr.

horror movies & romcoms thats so real of u. the duality of man. & horror movie adrenaline rushes are unlike anything i swear.

not picking between jily and jegulus REAL!!! theyre both so perfect.

answering qs!

im not allergic to anything! (that i know of. so far so good.)

i totally believe in fate, at least to the "everything happens for a reason" degree. i think people need to just live their lives and let things happen cause we cant control everything and it would be impossible to even try. if its meant to be then itll be.

i accidentally fucked up a really good friendship a while ago by not being there for someone when they needed it (to be fair we were both going THRU it so i didnt realize) but we both moved on & they had moved to a different school so we drifted apart eventually. shit happens but theyre happier now so thats good.

i wake up bright and early (its 12pm.) i gracefully get out of bed (i sit on my phone for half an hour before dragging myself out of bed) i go brush my teeth and do skincare (i do brush my teeth but i definitely dont feel like doing skincare) i go make a nice nutritious meal (i make a coffee and some toast if its a good day) i do a wakeup workout (i sit in bed and drink my coffee) i get dressed for the day (im not changing out of my pjs) i do my makeup (im not doing my makeup) i head to campus for my class (my class is online. i stay in bed.)

spiderman or thor!!! ive never read any of the comics so this is purely based on their movies but peter parker i love that man. and thor is a dumb idiot i love him.

i think id switch lives with either elon musk or jeff bezos so i can give away all their money to charity or to pay for important things that they can afford like solving world hunger. i think id also love to switch lives with timothee chalamet like what goes on in that boy's head hes so funny sometimes.

(like which pre-existing fic do i wish i was the author of?) i wish i had written just lovers by zar (also intermission by zar) just because that fic is a masterpiece and to be the author of such a work of art would be an honour.

i wish i had written the iliad and the odyssey cause it would be cool as fuck to be as iconic as homer. (also since homer mightve not actually existed id love to be that much of an enigma too. keep em guessing)

ive never been in love! ive liked people but it never gets past that. i guess im just waiting for the right person to come along. but also, in a way i think i fall in love with everyone i meet. some people are just so cool and ill carry that memory of them forever.

i dance and sing a lot when im drunk. i get loud in general but i will karaoke the shit out of whatever is playing. also i get giggly cause everything becomes funny for no reason.

the worst fight liv and i have had is so dumb, she called me telling me that she was having people over at her place for her bday. i said i wasnt sure if i could make it bc i had 4 papers due that same weekend but i would try bc i obviously wanted to be there for her bday. she called me back a bit later sobbing saying she wanted me to be there and that she was mad i might miss it, i started sobbing because i felt bad and because i was overwhelmed, i told her okay, id be there no matter what, she said okay. we hung up and then she called me back 10 mins later completely fine and we both apologized for the dramatics & everything was fine and i managed to write my 4 papers in time so i could go. (uni and exams were kicking both our asses & we both had a breakdown cause neither of us had slept in like 2 days at that point lmfao)

probably either stargazing and seeing sirius & regulus & that comet, or when i last saw liv in january - we got coffee and walked around a lake for like 3 hours and talked shit abt the bitchy people from high school. it was lovely.

jegulily yes! ive never read any jegulily but i wouldnt mind reading some at some point. again, james has two hands!!! plus i think their dynamic is so fun.

i actually dont watch a whole lot of romcoms so i had to look up which movies would be considered romcoms and from that search my favs that ive seen are: enchanted, easy A, mamma mia, & 10 things i hate about you!

i also dont watch a lot of horror movies but i was fucking OBSESSED with IT in 2017 like fully obsessed. my entire personality was from that goddamn movie.

qs for u!

piercings vs tattoos?

whats your fatal flaw?

if u were any emoji which would u be?

whats ur love language?

fav superhero?

fav fic of all time

fav disney/pixar movie?

whats ur preferred method of annotating books? (like do u add random commentary or do u add deep analysis & thoughts?

what do u think ur animagus would be?

fav aesthetic?

do u prefer to stay in to watch a movie or go to the theatres?

fav day of the week and why

whats your literary archetype? (fun lil quiz, i got the ruler)

thats all for now <3

-bee

bee my darling <333

(first apologies for replying late.I seem to have a knack with doing those kind of things. but now I'm on half-term break , exams are over, so I'm mostly a free bird !!!)

miss Taylor -

dancing with our hands tied - JEGULUS - 'I loved u in secret'. that's all. secret love is theirs , they own it . also also , this is so regulus's line - 'I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us'. HIM HIM HIMMMM.

blank space - all the women - I simply couldn't choose between them and since this song is very very female rage to me , I'll say all of them. especially Marlene , because if she's one to sleep around , you just know she was shamed for it.

treacherous - WOLFSTAR - I just really feel the vibe of sirius being like 'I'll follow you home' and remus thinking that the love he feels for sirius is treacherous !!!

chatting ----->

nah imagine being under that statue and you see boxes of free kfc just hanging around . colonel the redeemer would be gods child fr.

everything in the us looks either cool or dangerous. SHE BROKE THE BFF CODE. yta divorce immediately. lu lives like five minutes away from me and it's to and fro from there like everyday. I see him all the time and I haven't even thought about the possibility that one day I might not see him everyday. like that's not happening. peace to u bee , u brave for not tearing the fuck up.

nah fr where are my hot and funny little bitches/bastards. like bro come here and kiss me on the mouth and take me out and we can get married in like an hour.

hosier is bae baeeee. (that's so fucking cool. and I think the coins should so smell like maple syrup. it's fucking unjust that they don't. sue Trudeau.)

Peter = judas and James = Jesus (and I so see ur point with the sirius looking like Jesus parallel. like James (if he was alive) would've so made some jokes about that.

TALKING ABOUT HARRY STYLES - please tell me you saw him at the brit awards yesterday. please. I was in fucking tears when I saw. like broooo he mentioned Zayn??? my boy Zayn ???? my directioner heart is healing for real. (and lewis Capaldi is probably the only person in the world who can among to get the band back together. he has the power.)

I get chased by them whenever I'm at the beach and they've stolen chips from my fish and chips before and it's so fucking annoying like genuinely I wish they'd go fuck themselves.

no genuinely someone should arrest that guy. fucking hate him. piss bag.

ahhhhh annotate it and then buy a new copy for your person and annotate with shit like 'made me think of u' and everything I would cry my fucking eyes out if someone gave me that.

nah bee a nun gonna fly in and drop kick u in the face (now laughing at this image)

it did not cure my hangover ! it made it worse !!! and the worst part was that lu was also hungover so he couldn't work his magic with his hangover potion. and he also emptied his insides out (he threw up) and I was his sick nurse and made him soup and everything. (he was so out of it it was funny as fuck)

canada is smarter than the use for sure (free healthcare and gun control for one.)

bee as a bee oh my god that's so cute (and those costumes aren't lame they're classics)

fr Harvard is so calling.

blowing things up is so so fun. I used ethanol in class recently (there was a big boom) and it was very funnn.

yes pink and green stay winning always >>>

ew not florida ewwwwww.

joey is just bae. I love him so so much. (his funeral fit stays banging.)

I'm just smarter than u bee , let's face it.

update on the banking thing - he said no. he just doesn't like powerful women.

tumblr is so bae , like vanilla extract is so funny to me now

freud would love to dissect that boy fr.

cutting your hair drunk ??? and not botching it ??? you are the chosen one. I bow down to your brilliance.

THE MOST JEGULUS SONG TO EVER JEGULUS. yes yes u must add it. can't believe it wasn't already there in the first place.

it is so perfect. such a vibe honestly. (Wendy's slaps hard. but it wasn't square so I feel betrayed.)

bad times with your best friend so that ten years in the future you can look back and laugh on how stupid and dumb you were.

ahhh no my family has always considered 13 bad luck. but I don't believe it so 13 stays winning <333

can't tell the difference fr (Irish ??? never knew that that's fucking weird (in a good way))

DRARRRRRRYYYYYY the angst is unmatched. unmatched I tell you.

jegulus fics are so so so good I eat them up like soup. and jily is just - perfect. I love them. I love it so so much.

no because those kind of movies are so weird. it annoys me so much. (but watching stuff with someone who's obsessed with the thing you're watching ??? like whatttt. it's so sweet. eg Lu's fucking obsessed with sports and shit and he knows I'm just not - so he always always explains shit to me like when to cheer which team we support and everything.)

I would feel so proud if it was me and I was allowed to use the fancy paints. like so so important and everything I would love it so so much.

I can imagine it now. sock falling in slow motion.

yes thank fuck for that.

get a life of their own frrrr. high time considering their lives are just about to end.

herm and harry are my darlings honestlyyy

yes yes romione is so cute and awesome but I don't personally like fics about them fr.

OH MY GOD A CONSTELLATION TOTE ???? honestly you're so fucking awesome it's fucking coooolllll.

WIRELESS HEADPHONES 5ever fr fr. could never deal with the wires when I'm doing stuff.

LOVVVVERRRRR. ( a 5 ??? that's awesome !!!)

mine's that kind of red or a classic bright red. love them classics and everything I love it <33

it really really really was. (we're all good but we have matching scars now ! hey - tattoos right there ???)

no I loved it so so much I love it so fucking much it's cool as fuck. prize present <33

I'm literally the best friend ever he should bow down to me and my excellence. (no but I just got him all his favourite things and bro got super emotional and everything. )

YES I FEEL SO UNZIPPED WHEN I READ THAT SHIT I FUCKING LOVE IT SOOTHES ME. those kind of confession quotes will always be so dear to me.

YES YES U GET IT. favourite poem ever <33

the air is super crisp and everything feels mega real up there. like I am hyper-aware of the fact that I exist.

yes yes a locket like that is so so cute. she will keep it close to her heart trust <333

YES TIGERS. GO TIGERS.

horror movies & romcoms have my whole heart. rom-coms come first , but horror movies are a close second. (and horror-coms are lovely too !!!)

jily and jegulus are amazing. top-tier always.

reviewing your q's -

god bless u and ur immune system. the chosen 1 fr.

fate fate fate. I believe in destiny and fate and I love it because I really truly believe that I could bump into someone and fall in love. like it could so so happen. It will happen. manifesting the fuck out of it.

friendship break ups make me so so sad. like damn you don't want me anymore???? sad as fuck. (glad you both are doing good now !!!!)

WHAT A FUCING MOOD. same though. I think it's something in the air when I'm getting ready for school. like I get ten times more slugger in the morning I'm getting up for school like I really curse the fuck out of everyone and their mothers.i do it so often.

Peter Parker always <33333. I love them so so so much.(tom and toby and ANDREWWWWW)

(yes yes that's what I meant !!!) I so so need to fucking read it I swear I'll do it. I'm going to do it as soon as I have time honest.

homer is iconic you're so right. keep them guessing always and forever for reals.

I fall in love every time I look in the mirror. no but if we're being honest - me neither. I feel like it's coming though. I love love and I want to be in love too. (meeting the best people and carrying the memory of them forever >>>)

NO HONESTLY. man wearing hat ???? funny as fuckkkk.

not being able to go places because you have exams is so so so fucking annoying. like exams can go to hell (she cried for u ??? that's so sad and honest and sweet honestly best friend GOALS.)

talking shit about bitchy people with your best friend >>>> especially because it's always the darnedest things too and the best friends we have would never expect it and it's always so funny to shock them.

I honestly don't really mind jegulily. I think it's fun , and I might read a couple fics here and there but they'll never be my OTP. I love them , but jegulus and jily stay winning alwayssss.

'I hate the way I don't hate u. not even a little bit , not even at all.' my heartttt. and also Cameron is amazing and needs to be appreciated more.

q's -

now I love piercings (want at least 3 in each ear) but tattoos because to me they can hold much more meaning than a piercing. like it would be amazing and they just .... do stuff piercings can't. piercings still slap though.

loyalty to the people I love. like I've said this before , but I'd absolutely go feral if anything untoward happened to the people I love. i would genuinely fuck the aggressor up. like I genuinely feel like I saw a ten foot tall hunky muscle guy slap lu once , and I was there , I'd get so mad I'm pretty sure my sheer anger would scare him the fuck away. but I'd do it even if they were wrong. like if he says the sky is purple in front of people he doesn't like , then the sky is mf purple until we get home then I ask him what the fuck is going on.

the raising a single eyebrow one. I'm always making that facial expression. (I used to hang out with some pretty sus people and the things they used to say ..... shiver.) and of course the love heart ( where is my pink love heart , apple ?????? where is it ????) simply because I am a hopeless romantic.

acts of service !!! I will always do something like that for someone I love. like you need the groceries ??? not a single word more I'm going rn. also also love love giving gifts. like I really think them out .

SPIDERMANNNN. I love all 3 of them so so much I love the fuck out of them they're my favourites always always.

oh my god I couldn't possibly. but I could. (for each ship I have 1 or 2)

drarry - mental , temptation on the warfront.

jegulus - absentmindedly making me want you

dramione - wait & hope , isolation

wolfstar - of memories and milk thievery , lessen my load

nottpott (harry x theo nott) - rendevouz receipts , lethal combination

btw lethal combination is by the same author as the one who wrote the atlas six !!!! I love it so so much !!1 (nottpott is a guilty pleasure ship)

7. my favourite Disney movie is tangled always always <33333 unmatched. Pixar - UP (I fucking love it. it made me cry so so hard, I love it so so much)

8.i do both. like I have clear post-its , and sometimes I jot my notes down there , other times I have annotated the fuck out of them on the pages. in my copy of Gatsby , I have the word 'gay' written next to a lot of the times nick talks about Gatsby (maybe I'm biased but he was so in love with Gatsby.)

9.i'd love to be a black cat. mostly because I hate how they're said to be bad luck. like they're so sweet and cute and I just love them always. they're amazing. (plus being lazy and thinking they're better than everyone ??? so me honestly.)

10. dark academia !!! I so so so wanna live like that like it's the dream I love it so much. everything about it. the outfits , the scene , the vibes , the feel , the feeling that if I fall in love with someone , it'd kill me to be without them. I just LOVE it.

11. cinemas !!!! I love cinemas so much the vibes , the popcorn , the snacks I've snuck in , the way people clap when famous actors come onto screen >>>>

12. friday !!! end of the week , game night , no alarm to wake upto the next day . Friday has it all always. very dear and near to me <333

13.the lover !!!! no one was surprised by this honestly. it's very literally me. I am very much an idealist always looking for love wherever I can find it !!!

q's for uuuu -

which 1d member is your fave ?

top 5 Taylor songs ?

top Shakespeare quote ?

fave Shakespeare play ?

fave modern family character ?

style vs ootw?

cruel summer vs dress ?

fave tay tay lyric ?

controversial opinion you have ?

famous person you hate (not an obvious one like Kanye or John Mayer we all hate them they don't count) ?

sickest burn you've ever given ?

sickest burn you've ever got ?

moment when you wanted to slap liv's face the fuck off ?

moment you've been horrendously jealous ?

(beee beee beee I love u tonnes. sorry I've been so bad with replying. I'm so going back to normal after this I pinky promise. come back soon <3333333 I missed u!!!)

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

youved been warned vent under the cut

you make me so mad and yes i get it you have crippling anxiety and cant get out of the house and you might have something else and you also have dpression and whatever shit and youre on meds AND IM SO JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU KNOW AHTS WRONG WITH YOU

and yes its hard and yes i undertsand and yes your mum is the nicest person but strict when it comes to you and yes i udnerstand when you say everyone hates you and yes i undertsand you and wehre youre coming from and yes i get it i get it i get it but GOD why

like please stop makong everything about you like girliepop. miss gurl why like (ok wtfim like rockijg back n forth thats how insane i am) anyhows oh ma daayyyyssss brruoooohhhh i get you have a bad life but like hvnet you thought about other people????????? oh right right right yep i make everthing about me so you play the vistim and say ohhh whenevr i try talk about my feelings its disreagerdede and thy make it about them like girliepop ur not even tryin to be subtle rn

ok fist of all. FIRSTLY youre being a hypocrite. a little bit (a lot). not to call u out but im calling u out. GIRL- also why u gotta call me gay everytime i see a woman on my screen GOD anyways that was random

ANYWHOS BESTIES this betch like girl omg ok look i might be making shit about me but mAYBE if you comMUNICATED THAT i would KNOW and not DO IT anyMOOROEEEE instead of just siTTING THAERE and pLATING THE VICTIM cos GIRL

yeah you have a thing tomorrow and youre failing school cos you acnt get out of the house and your relationship is failing and i dont talk to you anymore and youre hurt and crying and aw i feelbad i swear but havent you realised i dont talk to you anymore and have that connection ecause youre talking to me about your feelings and im not talking you to you about my feelings because whenever i do all you say is "im sorry can i do anything" an im like nope cos its not like you could solve it n we move on BUT when we talk about your feelings oh sob sesh feel so empathic awh pity pity can i do anyhting to help yes motivational words but girliepop at least im trying to help and not mutter a half assed snetence. i notce when youre down or sad but its about you and what you want and maybe if you asked about me or noticed when im feelin down and payed attention to me because i thOUGHT IT WAS EQUAL LIKE AS IN 2 HALVES LIKE 50-50 HELLO MATHS UR SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT MATH

yeah maybe if you werent sulking we wouldnt be here. like girl GIRL. please stop being a crybaby and upping everything because you make me feel bad whenever you do something n ur like oH iLL gO BECAUSE ARGH IT MAKES ME SO MAD I WANT TO SAY "oh do it then i double dare you" COS MISS GURL AKJFGHSFH STOP. LIKE I HAVE TO PHYSICALLY STOP MYSELF FROM LAUGHING???? AND SAYING THE MEANEST SHIT COS YOULL PRETEND TO HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS AND I SWEAR YOU ONLY STARTED BECAUSE I DID BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER EVER SEEN YOU WITH SHIT BEFORE AND YEAH I RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES BUT WE ARE LITERALLY SO CLOSE I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR HOUSE MET YOUR FAMILY BEEN THERE FOR EVERY SINGLE MOMENT MAYBE IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU WERE COMFORTABLE but its fine cos im not an asshole (even if you say i am) and i respect your boundaries :)

so yes ill just shut up and rant on tumblr so i dont explode at you which will cause you to pretend to have an existential criss OMG U KNOW WHAT MAKES ME SO MAD

YOU LYING. I DONT CARE IF YOU DIDNT MAKE THE EDIT AND JUST SAID IT LOOKS COOL BUT BESTIE ITS NOT COOL TAKING OTHER PEOPELS EDITS AND POSTING THEM AS UR OWN. I CAN LITERALLY SEE THE WATERMRK DO U THINK IM DUMB. ALSO THAT ONE TIME WITH THEC HEESE PIE LIKE I KNOW WHAT A STORE BOUGHT PIE LOOKS LIKE AND I KNOW WHAT A HOMEMADE PIE LOOKS LIKE IM LITERALLY SO MUCH BETTER AT COOKING THAN YOU ITS INSULTING HOW YOU THINK IM THIS STUPID

ok im sorry i hope you never read this i swear im just insane im sorry if that didnt make sense and i understand if you, reader, skipped through it because i would too :) (also why tf is there so much sass in this post what)

i am so unhinged rn like the only thing running through my head rn are feelings and not actual thoughts and maybe i should do something about that but im just manically laughing bevause HA

ok no i just had an argument and had to stop myself from saying the meanest shit and i feel like a bad person now but im also mad so like like girl not everything is about you plase stfu kindly :))))))))))))))ADDSGSHKH ahem

hang on this is js unhinged i need to make a vent post istg wtf anyways guys love u alllll

[mengziyifan]

xuan lu as a mermaid 🥺 <3 <3 <3

[pinkchanelbag]

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