#i just have a bad habit of abandoning projects

[mysticruinedme]

oogghhhhhhhh i need to writeee i feel like i’m writhing in agony since i’m not working on anything. i’m also bored out of my mind. i also feel like a husk of myself without a project to obsess over. what has my world come to

[archersartcorner]

Rewatching ASO cus of course. Episode 4 of ASO truly D20 episode of all time in my humble opinion. And because I like to focus in on angst moments with my faves, noticed this time around just how scared Skip sounded when he was found out. Like trying so hard to sound scary but his voice is trembling… lil baby, wanted to draw it. And second doodle is from a canon-adjacent AU I’ve been writing just where Norman is conscious and he has a bit more agency. Wanted to explore Norm/Skip as it would be if it was considered from the very beginning :)

[oh-no-its-bird]

Obkk ghost marriage fic where after kannabi bridge, the Uchiha decide Kakashi can keep the eye but only if he agrees to marry Obito's ghost in a traditional ghost marriage.

(This also means he officially joins the Uchiha clan. Maybe lean into how he knows very little ab his own clan history, so there's like some minor complexes playing off of that as he ultimately takes up the Uchiha name and traditions, effectively abandoning his own -> which could also play interestingly into his negative views of his father at that age. This also means he moves out of his clan compound and into the Uchiha district— which is actually really good for his mental health)

Kakashi doesn't argue, he sees it as the ultimate atonement actually. He's incredibly dutiful but especially so at that age. He'd take it dead fuckin seriously and be the best ghost bride possible. Instead of constantly going to the memorial stone he has like a proper shrine to honor him in the house where he leaves his favorite foods n stuff

Like little 13 year old widower Kakashi w Rin as his witness rip

I'm not the biggest Rin fan bc her canon characterization feels like that usual boring "girl crush turned martyr" (naruto misogony strikes again rip) and I've yet to find any interpretations that really strike me— with one exception.

I don't remember the fic, and Rin only showed up for part of it, but I remember being rlly taken by her in it. It highlighted her being as struck by Obito's death as Kakashi, with her an official mednin working overtime in the hospital as the war ramped up. Also it gave her a smoking habit!! I can appreciate a well played addiction to cope in text. Idk I just read it and kinda went "woah she suddenly feels like a real person to me"

But like, that for Rin here. She's working triple overtime in the hospital, day and night. The war is getting worse and worse and some nights she comes home w her gloves still stained in the blood of her patients from back to back surgeries where her patients died on the table. They have her listed for eye trauma specifically after her successful transplant for Kakashi, and she's proving to be invaluable for the patients w eye based kekkei genkkai. She wants to go into specifically researching and healing for eye bloodline limits, but is struggling to convince the clans to allow her access to that information.

Kakashi's new home is closer to the hospital that Rin's parents, and stuff w her parents is starting to get... tense. It hurts them, to see their daughter struggling like this. To see her coming home with dulled eyes and bloodied hands. To be waken by her nightmares and then not know how to comfort her.

Rin slowly starts staying over with Kakashi more and more and after a while she's just kind of fully moved in, but neither of them actually really talk about it

Let them be best friends w a kind of codependency on eachother that would be concerning if not for how it's very clearly keeping both of their heads afloat as days go on and things get worse.

Queerplatonic besties Rin and Kakashi sharing the same bed so when they wake up screaming they can help eachother go back to sleep easier. Rin likes it when Kakashi summons his ninken to sleep w them. They sleep easier w eachother bc they feel safer knowing they're there to have eachothers back, just like they would on the field

Anyways, Kakashi moves out of his clan compound and into the Uchiha's. He's neighbors with a little 6 year old Shisui and is kind of picked up by the scruff by a lot of Uchiha who have really weird complex feelings ab Obito's death (many of them feeling bad ab not having reached out before to him / seeing him die so young, and then projecting that onto Kakashi)

Kakashi and sometimes Rin kind of accidentally becoming a babysitter for Itachi both bc of proximity and bc Mikoto is friends with Kushina

On that note -> Minato does not really get the ghost marriage thing. He's civilian born, and the practice is really old and hasn't really been used since like, warring states era. So Minato is kind of weirded out and very "uhhh. Are you SURE this is what you wanna do?" But Kakashi seems set, and like, if it helps him cope???

He is however very supportive of getting Kakashi out of the fucking tomb of his father's house and into the much more populated and lively Uchiha clan compound

Minato makes Kakashi ANBU and designates him as his home guard specifically to keep him off the battlefield. He lowkey does the same to Rin (minus the ANBU part) positioning her in the hospital and making sure she's getting that good good mednin education. If pressed on why she doesn't go out as a field medic, he insists it's because she shows too much promise as a healer to risk— not now that they've lost Tsunade. If Rin can grow to be even half as good as she is, it'll be worth keeping her away from the fighting.

Neither Kakashi nor Rin feel very good about this decision (tho hypocritically, they agree w it when it comes to the other, bc ofc they do)

Rin doesn't die bc I say so and Obito does a comedy spit take when he inevitably learns he's legally married to Kakashi under the eyes of the Sage, Amaterasu and all.

[a-fangirltrash]

"Ford treated Fiddleford so bad!!" As if him treating Fidds like shit wasn't directly a product of being constantly gaslighted and abused by Bill.

I'm genuinely getting tired of people flaming Ford, but in a serious tone. Like people are acting like he's a toxic selfish man that used to put Fidd down... and... no he never did???

Ford ADMIRED Fiddleford, he TRUSTED his friend for what he described as "the project of his life" and Ford, being the most prideful man in the world, decided to ask for help because he knew how CAPABLE Fiddleford was.

When Fiddleford arrived Ford let him know how thankful he was that he was there with him, the man even took a bath and made sure to make him feel like he was at home. Ford even remembered his favorite bean brand?

When Fidd got traumatized by the gremoblin, Ford TRIED to help with what he knew. He tried to help him meditate, took days off for him, decided that they could go out and have some good time. Be mindful that this might've been the total OPPOSITE of what Bill wanted, and he still did for his friend sanity. Bill would make Ford work like CRAZY.

Also, for him it wasn't "putting him in danger!!" For him it was sharing adventures with his friend! Just like hi did with *cofcofSTANLEYcofcof*. That's love language all around.

Fiddleford could abandon the project anytime, but he didn't because he liked being there. And Ford is NOT the guilty one for Fidds creatinf the gun :/ it's nor his fault that fidd interpreted "using his creativity" in that way. Ford NEVER approved that gun.

Also, Ford noticed that RUBIK THING, HE APPREACITE HIM SO MUCH HE KNEW HIS HABITS. AND GOT CONCERNED RIGHT AHEAD.

"B-but he free Frilliam!" The portal was close, did you all READ how much gaslighted Ford was at that point? He didn't free it because "ugh i don't care about this shitty axolotl" but because Bill started to freak out and yell at him to get rid of it. Ford wrote "A friend" with a heart in the title??? Wdym he didn't appreciate it aaaagh

If Stanley took the diaries (i don't like this universe because...stanley:() he WOULD have looked for Fiddleford, they'd have made the Institute of Oddology, he'd have shared his success... with the man that helped him the most.

TBOB SPOILERS AHEAD

He got sad when Fiddleford told him he was gonna get back home to spent time with his family, he PLANNED holidays with him. Even if he DIDN'T like holidays.

He took a day off just to make him happy after his atrocious christmas party, he USED RESOURCES that as you know ford is the most practical mam in the world JUST to decorate the portal as a tree and make Fiddleford happy.

And that atuff of "h-he doesn't appreaciated Fiddleford gifts!" IS SO DUMB OMG, he wore the gloves in the snow and was incredibly thankful about them. When BILL that dumbass triangle pretty much LACERATED his hands, he used Fiddleford gloves as a way to hide those scars, and in a sense, probably to comfort himself because he was ALONE.

I think that was the reason of Fiddleford fast forgiveness, not only because he's a sweet heart, but because after fighting with Bill i think he noticed how BIG was the monster torturing his "partner".

And after all of this i'm not trying to excuse Ford treating him poorly and not listening to him in time

BUT FORD IS NOT A PERFECT VICTIM

Even if i believe he wasn't "the" (at least only) reason of Fiddleford becoming crazy, i know it could have been better for him and he could have avoided so much trauma. But can we please stop seeing Ford as a selfish, evil mad scientist and start seing him as a victim... of a terribly abusive relationship that checks in for all types of domestic abuse... please!!! Ford is not a perfect VICTIM Can we blame Bill!!!

All this rant is because there's certain ship... which i kinda like, but i just HATE HATE HATE the interpretation and how much they put Ford as a villian on it omg

Edit: fixed the use of word narcissism, since it might've been ableist! Replaced with words that actually relate to what i intended to say, instead of referencing a personality disorder

[lemonisntreal]

Some sketches because it's been months since I drew these idiots oops☝️🥰

HI THERE. It's been a minute, sorry about that lol. I took a tiny out-of-nowhere and sorta involuntary break from the fandom because I lost interest for a second, but I'm slowlyyyy making my way back. With art, and some news about Tone Deaf for the people who are still wondering about that.

Also I see there's some asks in my box, I'll get to that eventually, I see you ;-; dw

--------------------

As stated, I momentarily lost a bit of interest with this movie- partially because I've recently been ensnared in a new fixation that will not be named right now, but yeah. I'm digging my heels in rn, because the last thing I wanna do is abandon this project. But, also, I've clearly bitten off more than I can chew with this being a comic lmao. In over my head and going through all 5 stages of grief and currently on acceptance.

The story got bigger. Like, a LOT bigger. Too big to capture every thought in a drawing and panel it and put it out as a perfectly polished comic without seriously burning myself out. It really doesn't help that my art style evolves by the second too apparently, so I've reached a middle-ground:

Tone Deaf is going to be a fic with some comic-like segments in it. An illustrated fanfic bc I still love showing and not telling a little too much.

This'll help me not only get stuff out faster, but also to help me fill in the gaps I didn't know how to draw with just text. So I can focus on just drawing the juicy shit. This also means it'll all be collected over on Ao3 in a neat little package, and I honestly prefer that over having a bunch of posts of pages that might be hard to find. So yeah, that's the plan.

Another bonus is that the frames can now be a lot more polished and nice looking [in glorious color] rather than hastily mashed together due to my bad habit of going overboard on singular frames without realizing it.

--------------------

Tldr; Tone Deaf is technically still gonna be a comic, it's just now gonna be supplemented with word-based fic mixed in because I made the project way too fucking big [the first Act has like 20 chapters I'm going to literally die]. Also it's gonna be on Ao3 and I'll probably be posting all the art here alongside any updates I make so huzzah! Help me :>

[nobody-viii]

The Turks - Context Clues (The Kids Are Alright)

@accala posted an excellent inquisitive post about the Turks here and their motivations and to add some The Kids Are Alright: A Turks Side Story book context, imma leave this here. Couldn't find the quote I was looking for, but here's some things I found interesting. NOTE: I feel like Advent Children did the Turks a little dirty, but I really loved the banter as a kid. This book has some of the same campy shortcomings, but take it or leave it, here's what I found.

1.) The Healen Lodge from Advent Children was an R&R facility for Shinra, universally accepted as the worst one by employees. The Turks/Rufus chose it for its tactical advantages, but it also shows how far back on their heels they were. "The Shinra empire had ruled most of the world up until two short years ago, and it didn't sit right with Elena that the company president had to live in such a desolate place. Yes, medical treatment was available, security was way better away from the city, and the commute was only two hours by car; the staff could have had it much worse." - pg. 14

2.) The abandoned rec hall was being used by Shinra as a lab to convert SOLDIER stimulants into geostigma treatments. The project was Elena's idea, with the resulting medication being donated free of charge to city medical professionals and the WRO. (pp. 16-17)

3.) Reno & Rude were sent into the city to retrieve a stolen item from a teenager (read the book for details I'm too lazy to go into it), and when he started crying and shaking, Reno and Rude switched to a new script. "Aw, look. The kid's really scared." The redhead sounded sympathetic now. "That's what we came to do," the bald one pointed out. And: "Now, we put on our best tough-guys acts on the way over, so we can't just leave without roughing anyone up," said the redhead. "Our job is to teach a lesson to anyone who tries to mess with us." I was still scrambling for an explanation to give them. "Y-you mean, kill me?" was what came out instead. My voice even cracked for good measure. "That's one way to teach a lesson. But we're trying to strike a balance for Shinra, here. We want everyone to love us and maybe be a little bit scared. Killing you would have the opposite effect." (pg. 23) Reno opted to punch the kid in the face, then tell him to keep his chin up, so...balance? Sure. Shinra is, at this point, technically trying to figure out their PR while simultaneously leaning on old habits. Also, the kid calls Reno and Rude a knife and a fork and I thought that was funny.

4.) Reno is described as someone who looked like he 'turned delinquent as a teenager and never grew out of it, like those kids in the Sector Eight warehouses who I still hated and admired in equal measure.' (pg. 23)

5.) Elena roughs up one of the protagonists, but reins herself in when context is presented: She'd paid a visit intending to break Fabio's dominant arm, but when she saw him fight back to protect the child, she changed her plan. Her objective was to punish a thief, not deprive a child with geostigma of his only guardian. (pg. 47)

6.) Reno calls a doctor for the guy he roughed up. Kyrie nodded. "I figured, these guys must have phones, so I asked them to call Dr. Drake. 'Evan's in a bad way 'cause you guys beat him up,' I told them. And guess what? They said they don't know any Evan. So I lost it and said, 'Yeah, 'cause Evan's the one you whaled on when you mixed him up with Fabio. You owe him..... So then the redhead--his name's Reno--he called a doctor. Not Dr. Drake, he said, but a good one..." (pg. 55)

7.) Evan (the protagonist) is trying to work out who would be the easiest Turk to try to forge an alliance with and we get a glimpse of how the Turks are perceived by outsiders (Tseng is an unknown entity to Evan at this time): The most dangerous one was probably the lady Turk who went after Fabio. A close second would be the slab of muscle out there, Rude. Maybe the redhead Reno was more on our level. I thought back to my first impression of him--the grown-up teenage delinquent. Guys like that generally looked out for their own. A sense of solidarity. There had to be an angle I could work. (pg. 57)

8.) There's a whole scene where Evan and Kyrie try to ambush Rude. They choke him, break a chair over him, kick, scratch, the whole shebang and he just brushes himself off and manhandles them to a car (which made me laugh).

9.) Reno and Rude take the protagonists towards Healen in a truck and there's a few moments I found interesting. "So anyway..." Reno was looking at me in the rearview mirror. "Sorry about the shiner, dude. We totally did think you were Fabio. But y'know, I'm impressed you stayed mum and protected your buddy," Reno went on. "Even if you were about to piss your pants." (lol) Then, "Some of us have been slower to to adapt to the new way of doing things," Reno continued. "How many Turks are left?" asked Kyrie. "Can't tell you. That's Shinra's most closely guarded secret." "It's just you three, isn't it?" "Not telling." "But I'm right." "Yeah, you keep thinking that." (pg.63) Rude sleeps through the majority of the ride despite Reno trying to keep him awake. They talk quite a bit about Aerith, because Kyrie and Reno both knew her. Reno warns them not to get mixed up with Shinra's science department.

10.) Evan gets introduced to Rufus for the first time after believing the former president has been dead for two years and Tseng finally exists in this book for two seconds. "He's alive...?" Evan was still speaking to Reno. "I am. The decoy who took my place is not," Rufus replied. "You're a candidate for the position--and from what I can see, you'll do." Evan's jaw dropped, and he stared agape at Reno, then Rufus, then Tseng. Tseng looked down at the ground, trying to hide his laughter. Evan's description of Tseng: He looked like a Turk, too. The very definition of one, in fact. Reno and Rude both showed an awkward humanity--well, sporadically in the latter's case--but this guy was pure ice.

11.) An ill-conceived escape attempt by Evan and crew sees Rufus temporarily kidnapped, as Tseng and Elena are investigating an explosion. Reno and Rude try to stop it, but are ordered back. "Reno, stay back!" Reno obediently halted. I had expected to see fury in his eyes, but all I say was sorrow. Surprisingly, I felt a pang in my chest, too. But there was no other way. I pulled Kyrie's knife from my pocket and opened it--a sad, flimsy little blade, but it could still slice open a throat. "Hey, don't be stupid." I ignored Reno and held the knife to Rufus Shinra's neck. Then, "Reno, take Rude and check on the lab." Suddenly Rufus was giving orders. "Tell Tseng not to get involved here." "Wait, what? Boss, are you sure?!" "Don't worry. I'm as interested in staying alive as you are." Reno reluctantly descended the stairs, glancing over his shoulder almost every step. (pg. 77)

12.) Reno and Rude talk about family and have a lil tiff. "If I found out about a brother I'd never seen, I'd make way more of an effort than those two," Reno insisted. "That right?" Rude said. My colleagues are all I need. "You're not much into family, eh, Rude?" "I'm a Turk," Rude said flatly. "Coolheaded and cold-blooded." He turned and headed for the truck. "Hey, Rude. You pissed at me?" Reno called, an unabashed whine. "C'mon, man. You can't cold-zone me now. Tseng and Elena aren't answering my calls, and the boss just tells me to finish the monument. I know they're starting something awesome without us. We're outcasts! Me and you, you and me. If we don't stick together, then what?" Rude looked back. "Tseng isn't answering calls?" (pg. 94) Reno goes off several times throughout this book about how he'd act if he got the chance to meet family, which makes me wonder about him. "So how'd it feel, meeting your brother?" "I don't think it's sunk in yet." "Well, it's a process, I guess," said Reno. "But you gotta visit once in a while, you know? Then you'll get to figure each other out. Break the ice." (pg. 97)

13.) Reno and Rude are actually partially responsible for the monument in the city. This lil bit kinda gives weight to how long they've been in Shinra. Evan was one of those types who wasn't quite grounded in reality but was full of bravado. A show-off. A scared kid determined to buck people's expectations by pretending he had no fear. And if he kept it up, he was gonna do something stupid enough to get himself killed. Both Reno and Rude had known too many kids like that, from rookie Turks to infantrymen to SOLDIER operatives wet behind the ears from mako infusion tanks.

14.) Reno & Rude get amused by Kyrie treating them like they're not scary. The concern over redemption makes an appearance. "Now what?" Rude stepped closer from his vantage point. Apparently, he'd been watching the whole time. He was pretending he didn't care, but inwardly, Reno was convinced, Rude was intrigued by every act of the farce. Which only made the whole thing funnier. "She said she's hungry," said Reno. "So she's gonna grab something to eat." "It's like she's never heard of the Turks. It's almost refreshing," Rude remarked. So this is what happens when Shinra wins hearts and minds. Reno chuckled again but then remembered that the girl was still afraid of them. He'd seen the goosebumps on her arms. Her toothless threats were her way of gauging the danger he and Rude presented. Evan might trust them, but not Kyrie. Despite what Rude said, she knew what they were and what they were capable of. "You know," said Rude. "She reminds me of Aerith." "Yeah, I was thinkin' that too." Maybe helping them out will redeem us, at least a little bit, he thought. A guy can hope. (pg. 106)

15.) Shinra's resources are thin...and that chopper that ate it in AC was one of the last ones left (cue gross sobbing because in the words of a certain Puppy, Shinra makes good stuff). No one knew exactly how many helicopters the Shinra Company used to have. Within a half a year of Meteorfall, many of them had been looted. Accidents, mechanicals, and other circumstances had taken out others, and now Rufus Shinra and the Turks were left with only three. But even with so few, it was a constant battle to keep them in working order. Also, Rude has mechanical experience and is the one on repairs.

16.) A civilian points out the flaws in Reno's hopes for the future of the Turks. "Well, to be honest, maybe my opinion of you guys is changin'." Doyle looked at Reno again with a level stare. "You're up to better things." Reno couldn't help averting his eyes. Unless it came from a fellow Turk, approval tended to make him uncomfortable. "The monument and the medicine are only one step, you know. Just wait. It might take a while, but Shinra's gonna get off the ground again. Rise again, you hear?" That general idea had been floating around in his head for some time. This was the first time he'd said it aloud. "How?" Doyle scowled, his thick eyebrows lowering. Reno cursed himself for the thoughtless comment. "Can't tell you." "Yeah, I figured. But no one is going to let a violent regime lord it over them again. Not anymore. You tell your president that."

17.) Tseng and Elena bring up the notion of inviting old Turks back into the fold. "For any one person, finding it (Jenova's head) may well seem like a futile task. But there is still a nonzero chance. Either way, staying in contact with our agents and meeting regularly are essential to maintaining organizational cohesion." " But how many...?" Elena glanced around and spoke in a stage whisper. "How many former Turks can we expect to help us?" In his mind, Tseng saw the faces of the old Turks, his former subordinates. Of those, he had made contact with-- They get interrupted and Elena rushes off to investigate something. Tseng watched his operative go with a wry smile. Below the hem of her sundress, old scars marked her legs. Once you joined the Turks, you were in for life. Even those who tried to get out and build new lives could be summoned back with a single phone call. Maybe it was a cruel call to make, Tseng thought. and he sighed.

18.) Reno & Rude defy a direct order from Tseng. "Dumbass," Reno muttered. "What are you waiting for? Engage!" Tseng's command rang from the speakers. "Evan's down there," Rude answered in Reno's stead. "He's already done for," said Tseng. "Fire." "No can do," said Reno. "Reno." Tseng made his name a sharp rebuke. "He's our friend." "Fine. Let me briefly explain--" Tseng's voice abruptly cut out. "Radio trouble," Rude mumbled, his hand drifting away from the radio's master switch.

There are a lot of quirky, funny, violent, or neato moments I didn't list, so check out the book if you want more insight. Hope this gave you some headcanon fodder.

[whatevertheweather]

Thank you all for the tags @run-for-chamo-miles @monbons @forabeatofadrum @rimeswithpurple @ileadacharmedlife @artsyunderstudy @noblecorgi @you-remind-me-of-the-babe! You're all making me very emotional about fandom, and my TBR has gotten out of control.

So. It's 2024 for a little bit more. I'm not sure what's going to happen as I write this post, but I know it's not going to be succinct, so we're just going to start below the cut and see what happens.

I'm waffling over where to start, but I've decided on what we're here for, which is the fic recap. I did actually make fic goals in 2024, and I did actually meet some of them, which I'm trying to focus on instead of the parts I didn't meet. Here's a nice lil screenshot to sum that up.

I did give Bait and Switch a checkmark after some hesitation, because it says ongoing, and I did keep it going. I just didn't finish. (The new goal is before CORB 2025 I guess.)

So I completed 2 fics. Continued 1. Posted 60,917 words, AO3 says, even though that's including the chapters of the WIPs I started last year, and by my clumsy calculations with that in mind, it's actually 32,990. Did not meet my goals, struggled to write most of the time, but when I was looking for these stats, I found AO3 doesn't even give me a 2023 tab (rip first chaps of Bait and Switch and Musical Chairs, I guess), so it's an improvement over last year.

It just doesn't feel like it, because so much of what I did is unposted. So those are the stats I'm gonna give.

Words that didn't get posted: 23.5k

Fics this close to done that I just couldn't get any farther on: 4

Fics started: 3

Fics lovingly revisited after being abandoned for a long while: 2

Number of projects I got really excited about writing: 3

Number of times I wrote AHAHAHA in brainstorming documents because I figured out what I need to do to fix the problems I was having: 5

How long it will take me to turn those ahas into action: I cannot possibly say

Number of times I should have reached out for brainstorming help: 50, probably

Number of times I actually reached out: 3, I think

It's these last two points I actually care about. Well, no, I care about all of it, but it's these last two I've been thinking about. I had writing goals for 2024, I'm going to have writing goals for 2025, but I also had a more nebulous goal to participate in fandom more, and that's the one I'm actually bothered about not meeting.

I have a bad habit of thinking the only way I can participate is by getting fic done. Sharing it. Posting snippets if it's not done. Like I can only rejoice in other people's WIPsday posts if I have my own, instead of just being inspired by other people's writing and art. Or I can only share excitement or progress if I'm sure it's going to go somewhere, instead of just posting what I have and letting the community of it all be its own excitement. Or I can only comment if I have the headspace to put together a stunning review that perfectly encapsulates what I liked about a fic/art/anything, instead of just saying what I can or messaging someone to tell them I loved the thing they made, as if I don't know how wonderful it feels when that happens.

I'm getting sappy and maudlin on main, but I appreciate this fandom so much, even when I revert to lurking, and I want so much to get back to participating and talking to people and sharing in all the amazing wonderful things this fandom does. Y'all are some of the most talented and creative and kind people and I adore you all. So that's my main (fandom-related) goal for 2025, and any fic completed will just be bonus points.

But! Since we're here for fic at the end of the year, I will round out this rambling post by saying there are at least 3 ideas I'm hopeful I'll be able to maintain my current level of enthusiasm for, and beyond that there are about 5 that are a few sentences away from done, so there's hope for seeing at least some fic from me in the new year. Related, here's a peek at the first three documents on my drive.

Two of these fall in the "a few sentences away from done good lord why can't you just finish this" category. The other one falls in the category of things I'm actually very excited about, and hope to at least have a WIPsday post for it before too long. Because I'm thinking keeping things secret for fear of never finishing them is actually kind of silly, and I don't need to keep trying to create things in a vacuum.

Finally, a mess of tags that is me waving hello with both hands: @fatalfangirl @moodandmist @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @whogaveyoupermission

@mostlymaudlin @sillyunicorn @aristocratic-otter @bookish-bogwitch @alexalexinii

@ivelovedhimthroughworse @iamamythologicalcreature @ionlydrinkhotwater @thewholelemon @bluedahlia912

@youarenevertooold @cutestkilla @raenestee @confused-bi-queer @basiltonbutliketheherb

[finniestoncrane]

Hello and congrats 🎊 2k followers, that’s quite a milestone 💖

I’m big in the fallout brain rot right now and yes I know, Squire Thaddeus is not on your list of characters you write for, but I really like your style and thought I’d ask nonetheless 😅

So a Thaddeus x Reader, after he’s running from the brotherhood. like reader is down bad for him, but he doesn’t get it until reader basically strips down in front of him 😅

Also if this isn’t your type of thing or character to write, I just wanted to thank you for your stories 💖

Thaddeus x Fem!Reader, word count: 1.2k aaaaaah!! thank you!! you're so kind ;-; i am obsessed with johnny pemberton, he's such a weird lil guy , so i am projecting that heavily onto thaddeus who is also a weird little guy at least from what we see of him lol 🧡 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: cmnf, oblivious thaddeus, flirting, nudity, suggestive stuff, blood (from a nose bleed)

You watched across the small fire as Thaddeus picked at the tin of beans in his lap. Finally settled for the night in an abandoned cabin, another day of journeying far from the Brotherhood, you decided it would be the perfect time to lay it on thick for him. You'd been flirting, charming, letting your touches linger, but nothing yet had been enough to get a reaction from him, and you were getting desperate.

So you opted to give it one last big effort, deciding that if it wasn't enough to get him interested in you, that you could officially give up on any hopes of being with him.

Since settling in for the evening, you'd swept up the floor, laid out bed rolls, and started a fire to cook the tins of food you found in one of the cupboards. You'd even let Thaddeus pick which one he'd rather eat. Nothing made you giddier than seeing him smile, his lip curling up, patchy moustache disappearing under his nose as his two, large, gapped front teeth became visible.

He was so cute. And you couldn't wait any longer.

"You know, Thaddeus. I think you're brave. I think you're so brave."

He looked up at you, surprise on his face, a questioning eyebrow raised into his forehead. With his mouth full of beans he tried to speak.

"mmmph-Really?"

You nodded your head, making sure to look up at him through your eyelashes, half-lidded eyes offering a sultry gaze in his direction.

"I really do. I wouldn't feel half as safe out here if it wasn't for you. You're like my protector. My knight."

"Your knight?"

He scrunched his nose up in disbelief, resting his features only when your hand reached out and stroked his arm.

"Oh yeah, you're so big... and strong..."

Thaddeus tilted his head, more confusion covering his puppy-dog features as he tried to take your compliments.

"Strong... really?"

"Mhm, and so handsome too. Like super handsome. Sexy even."

"Huh... Well, thanks I guess!"

He stood up form the fire with his empty can and spoon and you joined him, following close behind, not wanting to the opportunity to pass by you despite how difficult he was making things. You were so close to him, in face, that you have him a shock when he turned back from the sink where out of habit he'd placed the spoon.

"Oh! Almost knocked you over there, ha."

You laughed hard, a forced and exaggerated chuckle, and placed your hand on his chest. You let your fingers stroke up and down against him as you spoke.

"Thaddeus, you are so funny. You're just perfect!"

With a slight blush on his cheeks, he tried to offer some false modesty in response.

"I do try."

"Gosh, is there anything you can't do?"

The question flustered him a little, since there was actually plenty he couldn't do, and you were well aware of that, but he didn't know how to express it all.

"I guess... I guess maybe?"

Sensing that the question might have been a little too difficult, a little too tender for someone who had just been kicked out of the Brotherhood of Steel for failing to kill a target, lying on behalf of another brother, and injecting himself with an unknown substance which was slowly turning him into an unknown abomination, you changed tactics.

"Well... Is there anything else you're particularly good at?"

HIs lips were the focus of your attention, the seemingly universal sign that you were determined to kiss him, if he'd let you. You licked your own, a tempting tongue sliding over them. But Thaddeus, yet again, missed the signal.

"Uh, I don't know really."

Still focused, although speaking through slightly gritted teeth, you stepped a little closer to him.

"Your lips look soft. Are you any good at kissing?"

He took a moment to think, and you felt the weight on your chest lighten, believing that maybe, finally, you'd gotten through to him.

"I haven't actually kissed anyone, so I have no idea."

Thaddeus shrugged as he spoke, and then walked right past you, completely oblivious to any of your efforts, your flirting, your obvious compliments. And you'd finally had it. In a fit of sheer rage, you yelled out loud.

"Oh my god, Thaddeus! How much more obvious to I need to be!?"

He looked at you with wide, empty eyes, confusion written all over his sweet face and his mouth fell open, but no words came out. As far as he was concerned, you were suddenly yelling at him for no reason at all, at least not one he could figure out.

"I mean, what will it take, huh? Do I have to get down on one knee for you? Spell it out in the bones of my enemies? Write it on every bullet for your stupid gun? Strip down completely and offer myself up? Hm? Is that what it would take? Well..."

You pulled at the zip of your jumpsuit, tearing it down in one swift movement, exposing your underwear and bare skin to him. It slid down your waist and you shimmied out of it, kicking it aggressively to one side before moving to your underwear, pulling it off your body ferociously until you were completely naked in front of him. Laid bare, panting furiously.

"There. Now do you get it? I want you Thaddeus. You can have me."

He was completely still, eyes wide, pupils huge, intensely focused on your breasts which moved slightly with every heaving breath you took. As he opened his mouth to try and say something, anything, he was interrupted by a sudden taste of metal against his tongue.

"Oh my god, Thaddeus? Are you ok?"

Blood spilled from his nose, fast and thick, and you rushed to him, kneeling beside him and holding his cheeks between your hands.

"Aw, you poor thing. What happened?"

With a stutter he spoke, closing his eyes to avoid the embarrassment of admitting the truth, though his cheeks were flushing a bright pink that gave his shame away.

"It's... I've never seen... that- those- before... not in person."

You stifled a giggle, knowing it would likely only make him more embarrassed. He really was oblivious, but so inexperienced that you could forgive him.

"Oh, Thaddy..."

You stroked his hair, leaning into him, bringing his head to rest on your chest. he gasped softly, mouth trembling as he felt the soft cushion of your breasts against his cheek.

"How about once it stops, we see if we can get another few firsts in for you, then?"

Thaddeus swallowed loud, an almost comical gulp that pushed away his nerves long enough for him to get out a complete sentence.

"I don't think it's going to stop until I'm not touching a part of your naked body."

"Huh... better just power through then."

You kicked a leg over him, straddling his body, a twitch stirring in the front of his pants as he let his eyes linger over your breasts, his nose still dripping, cheeks bright red, and eyes going hazy as he waited, still looking for more confirmation that this was really happening.

[gullwrites]

cynosure duology - wip intro

• a soft scifi/corporate dystopia duology

(see the original intros on my old blog here (cynosure) and here (periphery))

For two decades, no one has touched the files of an abandoned project, once a spark of hope, now a shameful page of history, both because of the reason it was closed, and because of the classified effects it had on those who were in contact with the compound. But after a violent conflict between two rivaling corporations, the international Earth Board has demanded them to prove that they can work together on several big projects, or lose their public funding forever. And as one of the projects, which was partly the reason for their conflict, they decide to restart the old project.

Problem is, the project seems to be bringing problems to everyone involved, from corporate agents trying not to lose their mind from all the tensions between the corps, to scientists working on the project with tight schedules and budget pr. But no matter what, the corporations seem to be very keen on not letting the project fail. After all, who wouldn't say no to more money from all over the world.

Cynosure follows a corporate agent, who's tired of her job and would rather go research migratory birds on the coast, but who has got herself into a job situation she can't really leave from, and a scientist, originally starting its career on the original version of the project, and now dreading whatever this reboot will cause, especially considering how it was the reason why the original project both started and ended.

The second part of the story, Periphery, happens few months later after Cynosure events, and shows how the main characters are slowly getting over the things that happened there. That is, until more weird things start happening.

wip status: brainstorming, outlining, stuff like that (*cough* i have a thesis to write *cough*)

genre: soft science fiction, thriller, corporate dystopia

pov: dual 3rd person pov

warnings: swearing, unethical research choices, violence, guns, murder, torture, blood, gore, alcohol, smoking, mental health problems, physical health problems, relapsing into bad habits, to be added

This post will be updated later with more info and links to other posts related to the project. Stay tuned!

Interested in the story? Check out the tag list post here, or just ask me to add you!

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap: what bad habit(s) are you struggling with? what happens when you drop your bad habit(s)? what to keep in mind as you break your bad habit(s)?

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: what is the energy that surrounds you and how can you best protect your energy?

masterlist of pap/pac posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

pile one

procrastination. i have the feeling that you have a lot of goals and hopes that end up being "broken" or "abandoned" dreams. you likely try to take on too much all at once - you likely have the bad habit of start a lot of tasks but then not finishing anything. this likely causes you frustration because of the lack of progress you see leads to you feeling uninspired. then you start procrastinating on your goals and hopes - its a vicious cycle that you are in.

when you free yourself from procrastination, you will have hope once more. you'll turn a corner and start making dreams into reality - you'll stop mourning what could have been and instead see the possibility of what could be. right now you seem to be focusing on projects that are only half finished - if you focus on one project, determine how you can finish it, and then finish it - you will gain your momentum back.

as you face your procrastination know that you are intelligent and wise. you can make decisions and plans that will make these projects worthwhile. use logic instead of emotions you are likely thinking too much about what others will think/feel and no enough about the logistics of how you can get the project done.

pile two

projection, double-standards, and self-deception. i get the sense that you are struggling to see things as they truly are. you likely are in a holding pattern - it all feels the same because you aren't doing anything different. you must do internal work and break cycles in order to see progress. you have the ability to adapt and evolve, you simply need to allow yourself to do so. i sense there is some self-deception going on as well - i have a feeling that you are judging others inconsistencies and irregularities without evaluating your own. it's scary to confront the lies you tell yourself, the fear you feel, and what you feel ashamed of in your life at this moment in time - but it is time you do so. its time to reconnect with your inner self and be vulnerable. you aren't perfect and that is okay but it is not okay to not evolve and expect others to be perfect and change for you.

when you stop struggling with these inconsistencies between wanting others to be perfect and being unwilling to grow and change yourself, you will see that the universe is presenting you with new opportunities. in relationships, you won't be worrying that you can't find a romance like the one you perviously experienced, instead you will be looking forward to the possibilities of the future. you also won't be as afraid to share who you truly are with others. you could get a new job because you won't be as afraid to admit that the one you are currently in is not for you - you'll be more willing to take a risk and do things you perviously feared others would judge you for.

as you work on limiting behaviors and high expectations without the willingness to change yourself, remember that you to have the power to change. you can't expect others to change for you without being willing to change yourself. take risks you wouldn't normally take - stand up for what you believe in without worrying what others will think. don't be afraid to seek advice from others as you work on this aspect of your life.

pile three

accepting/making false-promises. i have a feeling that you have a bad habit of making promises/deals with strings attached. look at your own intentions as well as those you are involved with - i have a feeling you don't do that often and it only leads you or others getting hurt. if you only do things because it is to your benefit, it is time you self evaluate. you might be a bit too greedy and you might need to be more willing to give your time, money, and/or energy without expecting something in return. or you might be too giving - evaluate why you feel the need to give knowingly to those who wouldn't do the same for you.

when you stop making promises and deals with strings attached, you can start focusing on what you can control in this chaotic world. you have the tendency of thinking that you can control everything and everyone around you and that just is not true - no one has to do what they promise and when you realize that, you will be better in control of your life situation because you will be taking attention in your own life instead of waiting for others to help you or you doing things for others instead of doing things for yourself.

keep in mind while you stop waiting for others to keep there false-promises, that you have yet to make your dreams reality. i sense you are the trickiest of the piles - you are set in your belief that you need others or even the universe to bring you what you want instead of going after it yourself. you might need to take a minute and think about what you truly want but then you certainly have the ability to go after it - so do it.

[penheadie]

Can we get some Monix headcanons? 👉👈

Oh boy where to start it's kinda embarrassing. I am so glad you asked. I have an entire storyline planned out about them (me and my friend project our ocs onto them all the time. I love the babies.)

They are sadly a doomed from the start couple

In the beginning it was definitely a one-sided love at first sight sort of deal. Mono had a pretty intense puppy love crush on Six from the get-go meanwhile Six at the start did not like him whatsoever and was more focused on surviving begrudgingly becoming his survival partner when she wasn't in the mood to get close to anyone again.

They're kinda both mentally fucked up in the head. Mono has abandonment issues and Six has survivors guilt developed from not being able to save Rain and believing she was the cause of it. They both have their own issues that they need to work out but they try to help each other through their differences.

The first time Mono had caught Six displaying more childlike innocent behavior was when he followed her out to the shoreline where he had witnessed her knack and talent for being smart and crafty, taking broken things and fixing them. He learned about her affiliation towards music boxes when he witnessed her dancing with the ballerina attached to the music box after she had just fixed it in her natural element. Something about seeing her like that made his heart flutter. (Think about that music box scene from the first Tinkerbell movie but with Six)

OKAY! OKAY! WARNING THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE BECAUSE OF HOW CUTE IT IS GAHHHH! The first time Six tries to sneak a peek at Mono's face while he is asleep is unsuccessful. The first time Six asks Mono about why he hides his face he goes on to explain that the reason he hides his face is because that the entire world sees him as a monster. Without taking it off his head she slips her hand underneath the paper bag to try and feel around for his facial features. After coming to the conclusion that he is normal she squishes his cheek and she responds with “it doesn't feel like a monster here” the one time where Six actually does something cute and wholesome. Either that or the reason how she knows he's not a monster is because monsters don't have hearts, and she can feel his beating in his chest perfectly.

Whenever Mono is feeling insecure or ashamed about his face Six will proceed to drown him in a sea of little pecks and kisses until any lingering doubts about his face are gone. 

Six hunts for Mono and Mono cooks for Six. One time she brought him home a rat with the head decapitated from its body. Because of this he tries to introduce her to cooked foods and how much better they taste compared to raw food, since the only thing she seems to ever be capable of digesting is raw food. So he tries to get her to eat healthy. Six does not hog all of the food; she makes sure Mono can eat plenty too. 

Six gets inspired by Mono so she really wants to try to do good although her attempts are a little misguided. Six sucks really bad at being a good person but she's trying. 

Six is a biter. She chews her fingers and bites her knuckles as a nervous habit or when she is self-harming herself. Whenever Six is like that Mono will instead offer her his own hand, as he'd rather have her take out all of that pain and anguish she is feeling onto him rather than herself. Nobody said it was healthy. 

Mono loves hearing stories about when she was a baby from her older brother RK (or either her adoptive father Roger only the og's will understand this) since he was abandoned at birth he never really got the opportunity to experience what a family really is about and have people in your life who care for you.

Mono has already planned ahead, as he has big plans for the future that involves them getting married and having several children together living happily ever after (He doesn't know where babies come from) Six can sometimes feel a little overwhelmed with his expectations and sometimes feels like he didn't keep her thoughts in mind, asking her what she wanted first and was wondering if she got a say in this. Because as his “future wife” don't you think she should also get a say about whether or not they're going to have future children? Mono's dream of having many kids is meanwhile a nightmare for Six on the contrast. But don't worry when they get older and become adults they compromise about what the other wants.

For as much as Mono and Six love each other and have feelings for each other they struggle with communication as it isn't exactly as healthy as RK and Rain's relationship. They are both just shy and awkward little babies that don't know how to communicate their feelings of what the other wants. Which is one of the things that got them into trouble more times than once was the little miscommunication. Both of them had to keep secrets to keep the other safe in their eyes.

Six snuggles and is such a cuddle bug in her sleep! She cannot sleep without having Mono by her side or something to snuggle up against. It's just not the same without it. She is so tiny when she snuggles up against the lanky boy.

Mono and Six have nightmares on a regular basis as they were pretty common occurrences, Mono having nightmares about future events before they happen about Six abandoning him and Six having nightmares about all of her dead friends haunting her in her dreams and already pre-existing trauma. Whenever the other has nightmares there will be a long process with many stages in which the other will do nothing but hold them close, consoling them and offering them comforting words until they are reassured that there is nobody else here but them in their arms and that they are not at that terrible awful place. 

Six is asexual and Mono is bisexual. And they both willingly accept each other for who they are, as Mono wouldn't care if Six was a boy, or a girl, or a worm he will accept her for whatever she is.  

Now this is self-indulgent but tickle fights are a must between them. Sometimes if the Six is a little down in the dumps Mono will tickle her to try and lighten the mood. It's one of the few ways they can unwind together and have a chance to act like kids again. But Mono better expect Six to get him with some payback.  

Six had faith in Mono, as he used to tell her stories about how he was going to fix the world and bring it back to the way it was before the corruption took over; they were both going to fix the world together. That was the first time Mono ever made Six feel a sense of hope, and to find out that he is the source of the corruption later she sees that as even more of a betrayal and thinks that he lied to her, that is one of the reasons that makes the betrayal all that much more heartbreaking. 

Six realizes she has feelings for Mono around the time that he saves her from the collapsing building seconds right before the Thin Man kidnaps her.

Six is the one to initiate the first kiss. When Six gave him the first kiss she definitely did that thing where she lifted her leg because she is a little too short to be able to kiss Mono without standing on the tips of her toes in order to reach him. It took Mono a full thirty seconds to process what just happened, before quickly soon after Six was trying to resuscitate his useless butt with the defibrillator after she caused him to have a literal heart attack and die on the spot. Instant K.O. 

Just two little kids against the world with nothing more pure and sweet than innocent puppy love.

[phoukanamedpookie]

Galaxy Brain take: Zuko projects his anger at Ursa onto Azula.

When I think about his resentment of her compared to the actual things she did to him that fall within the normal range of bratty little sister behavior, an Ursa-shaped hole popped up.

Then it suddenly made sense. If Zuko relates to Azula more as his surrogate mother than as his sister, his resentment toward her makes more sense.

Look at what Azula does. She comforts him when he doubts himself in "The Crossroads of Destiny." She freely offers him advice when he needs or demands it in "The Headband," "The Avatar and the Fire Lord," and "Nightmares and Daydreams." She seeks him out to take him away from the "depressing" house in "The Beach" and helped him work through his anger at himself too.

From the moment Zuko returned to the Fire Nation, Azula has, in her own words, been looking out for him. Zuko seems to lean on her a lot too, relying on her in ways he doesn't acknowledge and probably doesn't know.

Let me lay out a scenario.

After Ursa left, Zuko still needed a primary caregiver. Even then, Zuko was aware that seeking that from Ozai was a no-go. But who else does he have? It's just him and Azula. Azula, who's so smart and strong and capable and also invested in his well-being.

Yet there's still anger and sadness too big for him to understand and process at the time. He "can't" be mad at Mom for "abandoning" him. His loving mother is "good," and leaving him would be "bad." Azula is "supposed" to take care of him, but Azula fails at being Ursa. So for that, she's "bad," and everything that happens to him is all her fault.

Zuko doesn't relate to Azula the way a big brother does his little sister (see Sokka and Katara for a more typical example). He relates to Azula the way a disappointed child relates to the mother who failed him.

Before anyone gets it twisted, I'm not saying that Zuko deliberately put that expectation on Azula. When Ursa left, he was a child dealing with a situation and feelings too big and complex for him to understand. Putting everything he wanted from Ursa onto Azula is just how he, as a child, would have coped. It's not his fault that he needed his mom. He was a child. It's not Azula's fault that she couldn't be his mom. She was a child herself, and younger one at that.

If there is fault to lay at Zuko's feet, it's continuing to do this after he's old enough to realize that putting that expectation onto his younger sibling is inappropriate, especially when he has a more fitting adult in his life who is willing and able to provide the guidance, nurturing, and affection he needs. But old habits die hard.

It's just tragic all the way around.

[notquitequelled]

nothing's wrong-- i'm just a STEM student...

[i rarely see stem rep-- so here’s PART TWO! (find part one here) the extended edition of ‘stoners in stem’ highlighting the parts of this life that i find myself loving ;p

Thinking of doing sectionals (Physics, Environmental Studies, Mechanics, Entomology, etc.), so if there are any suggestions you'd like to highlight, plz tag or comment !!]

TAG YOURSELF !! I LOVE SEEING WHAT YALL GET UP TO !!

slightly concerned glances being shared between even the worst of acquaintances when your mentor drops some crazy lore surrounding how they entered their field(s)

good god. the apple-cider vinegar and dish soap gnat traps. honey alternatives decidedly never cross anyone's mind (nor the threshold of the lab for that matter)

walking the fine line between the Ridiculous and the Logical during data analysis like the two aren't twin kings of ruin

either strong answers or noncommital shrugs when asked anything about your preferred diet or eating habits

writing exclusively with pen, or exclusively with pencil. feeling borderline disgusted having to use the other in the lab or when you forget your own

'Why do you care?' 'Why don't you??'

Every documentary you watch absolutely changing your life and challenging your worldview

Either hanging onto your textbooks like a lifeline or forgetting about them as they gather dust under your bed. maybe you never bought them at all-- pirated PDFs littering your desktop

anything in jars being considered decor (snakes, regurgitated bones, praying mantis egg cases)

seeing the slant of fences, trees, and lamp posts-- thinking of all the wind and weather that's passed along the same path you have

TREEHUGGER !!! HA HA

the clean quiet that hangs over the linoleum early in the morning; the warmth is not so subtle now that you've rolled up your sleeves.

teaching everyone around you how to bypass PAY FOR ARTICLES because knowledge should always be F[ree]INED [inspect, gear, disable java]

having to just sit by n watch while someone pointedly ignores your input, and a totally avoidable incident (that could have totally been avoided) is not, in fact, avoided

dealing with the consequences of that incident for the rest of the experiment/project

blank stare, lips in a placatingly firm line as you nod along with the stern talking-to you're being given. their words going in one ear and out the other because you're already thinking through another way under admin's nose ('no, I absolutely get you, 100%. it won't happen again.' [sometime later in the halls] 'yeah, no--- fuck that dude, I'm thinking this time we just gotta hit em harder with smth else...')

whaaaaat ? how'd those local Indigenous species just pop up everywhere overnight, ha ha ? wow nature is crazyyy

digging through public records for one reason, only to uncover an entirely different can of worms about the institution you frequent

digging in the literal dirt and uncovering literal worms lol amirite guys

'Please remember that this is just a prototype and that i'm it's in a very fragile state right now.'

going crazy trying to figure out what a specific testing company uses in their chemical compounds, because good fucking god how are you supposed to cite the evidence if you can't even label what it is?

a disastrous experiment being abandoned like Chernobyl once determined beyond salvation-- everyone curious to see how it'll develop and fester when left on its own

'life imitates art,' you think, as you finally recognize one of your unnecessarily complicated formulas being unexpectedly represented in your daily life

often being so bad at the thing you love that you can't do anything about it but laugh

staring for so long at something during a lecture that white begins to leech into your vision. you should probably blink a few times so people don't begin to suspect you're a reptile (even more than they already do)

'Don't.. don't look at me like that...' [speaking to a(n) (INSERT NAME OF LITTLE CRITTER HERE) you had to gently move onto a little scale to collect data]

honing in on where your talents in your field lie; the disappointment in finding your limits that turns to indifference when you remember you're still phenomenal at a million other things you enjoy

'i want to study you like a bug....'

thinly concealed irritation masked by a patient smile and a small 'mhm' when someone tries to explain your life's purpose TO you (ten dollars says they're wrong about it, too)

'and you want me to run this... on a full moon?' 'don't start with that shit again.'

yer disgust is lookin' a lot like morbid curiosity these days...

a lot of your scientific conclusions being discerned by common sense ('Please just use your cognitive functions, you guys...')

a clean earth sciences lab floor.. my white whale...

the small (increasingly large) pile of recyclable material that's waiting to be torn apart or filled with soil and plants; it topples over when people walk past, but no one can bring themselves to throw any away

'all this only cost me like... $270. which is crazy given that these're the real-fuckin'-deal solid-steel reinforcements.' 'man...this shit is so gonna blow down.'

leaning into the obscure, instead of away from it out of habit; seeing its effect in your daily life and work

all the plastic utensils in the dining area being stolen for diagrams, leaving behind only the reusable metalware. this is unexpectedly admirable of the engineers, if only to those who care about the inadvertent environmentalism

taking things apart to see how they work-- having very little planned on how to put them back together

'I don't know what you want me to do about that, you created it.' 'Not on purpose!'

downloading photomath during testing season. your doubt being palpable over your (in)ability to solve simple equations

carrying hand lotion everywhere you go because of how often your work has you washing your hands; colleagues and peers holding their hands out like beggars in a Mel Brooks film ('lotion... dollop of lotion for the poor D:')

borrowing chemical-grade goggles from the lab before going out to protest; supervisors giving you dubious thumbs ups while they 'accidentally' leave the key to the goggle sanitation station right by the cabinet..

'Now that you've poured your blood, sweat, tears, and other secretions into this project-- decide if you want to take it home to maintain, or have it eradicated.'

utilizing the public library, but having to double-check the internet before citing anything from the books you pour over because your city is more concerned with the way the building looks than the content it supplies

'The Martian,' both the book and the movie ... Mark Watney you will always be famous,,

'Why are you taking so many difficult classes at once?' 'My entire degree is difficult classes.'

carrying a small journal everywhere in an attempt to organize your thoughts, tasks, and reminders (you've never looked back on a single thing you've written, but you like to think it at least helps in the moment)

being torn between the scientific evidence that supports getting eight hours of sleep and your own hubris. you can stay up it's fine. it'll be fine.

you're not fine but at least the lab counters feel so nice against the side of your face

WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN A KILOGRAM 🦅🦅🦅‼??!!!!!

having no idea where your degree will take you, giving everyone who asks a different vague answer

hands being littered with cuts and burns; not being able to stop yourself from touching even at the worst of times

geeking out over carbon sensors and ammonia regulators your supervisor managed to convince the department to splurge on (nothing provided by them will enter your lab for another three semesters)

being one of the most prepared people ever when it comes to disaster prep; this includes zombies

'this was not.. our intended result... someone get the shovel.'

pettiness infiltrating your daily life in the form of utilizing your talents; coding programs and drawing up diagrams and running tests just to prove someone wrong (or just to fuck with them)

studying with your liberal arts friends; both of you staring at your respective incomprehensible lines of symbols and words that neither of you have the brainpower to comprehend. most of the lights are off and the library closes in ten minutes, but you know the night staff and they've learned to keep their distance until absolutely necessary.

[theladyragnell]

hi nell! since you're a pretty prolific writer, i was just wondering if you have any words of wisdom about writer's block. i've always had the bad habit of abandoning projects the moment i get stuck, so the overwhelming majority of fics i've published have been one-shots. any advice/recommendations would be appreciated!

With the disclaimer that while I have been writing for Decades, I never really feel myself qualified to give advice, alongside the disclaimer that writing advice tends to be incredibly personal, so if you don't think anything I say is relevant to you, trust yourself over me! I discard so much writing advice because it's simply not how my brain works.

So, when I get writer's block, one of the following things is usually what is happening.

a. I went wrong anywhere between one sentence and five paragraphs ago. This is the kind of writer's block where I sit down for a writing session and cannot get beyond the sentence I am stuck on, can't see my way forward in a scene. The cure for this one is easy! I delete the last sentence. If that doesn't work, I delete the last paragraph, and so on and so forth. It just means I took a wrong turn, that someone's characterization off or a conversation isn't going to do the job I need it to do, something like that. A few times I've had to restart from the beginning, worst I did for that I'd made it almost 10k into The Wrong Version Of A Concept.

b. I want something to be perfect and I freeze. I'm a firm believer in "perfect is the enemy of good" and more than that, "perfect is the enemy of done." If I'm writing something high-stakes for some, something that stretches my writing skills, I can get all in my head about it, and write incredibly slowly or just stop for a long time because I think I'm not good enough for the work yet. This is one of the hardest things to shake off, because it usually means accepting that there's no way it will be perfect on this draft or maybe any draft. Sometimes it means putting something away for a while, or just giving myself permission to write a draft I know will need editing.

c. I lost interest. Maybe a newer and shinier concept grabbed me, maybe my take on the concept isn't feeling right (which, see the first two points here), but I just don't want to write it anymore. And I write as a hobby! And it seems that so do you! So my advice here is ... if you won't want to write something, don't write it. Sometimes I put something down for a while and come back to it fresh and finish it up, I've got a work or two on the AO3 where that was my process and definitely some original works ditto, but sometimes something just isn't for you.

d. I'm writing something for ... I want to say the wrong reasons, but it's not quite that. I'm not writing for myself, I suppose. Sometimes, writing for other people is a good kind of stretch! I like writing to prompts, or for exchanges, because I like the challenge of making someone happy, figuring out what will make them tick. But it's also hard, because I've learned the hard way I have to find the midpoint between another person's taste and what I'm interested in writing at a given moment. And I feel like a lot of writers, especially in fandom, we can often get to writing for other people's taste more than our own. This particular AU or headcanon is popular now so everybody's got to have a take on it, or this popular author writes like this so maybe if I write like them instead of myself people will like it better. And when I try to write something I'm not interested in, or like someone I'm not, just because I feel like people will like it better, I get stuck. And the only way to fix that is to write things I want to write the way I want to write them.

e. I feel like nobody will like what I'm writing. Yes, I know this is in fairly direct opposition to the last point but it has to be said. I'm writing something niche, or I'm writing a fandom my dearest friends aren't into, or I'm writing an OC, or I'm writing a weird fic format or voice, and so on and so forth. I like feedback, I'm not shy about admitting it, so sometimes when I worry I won't get it, it's hard to motivate. And then my question for myself is always whether I'll regret not writing it, and if I will, then I do it and hope that the story will find its people, even if it's not as many as I daydream about.

You say you post one-shots, as a habit, which means you're writing, and one-shots are great! If one-shots are where your attention span or motivation go, there's nothing wrong with that, anon, and I hope you know it. If you want to try other things, please do! But I couldn't finish this post without saying ... my writing philosophy is that everybody should write the things that make them happy, because life's too damn short not to. You're not under any obligation to write something long.

But if you want to, make sure you're writing what you want to write, the way you want to write it. Backtrack sometimes and make sure you're going in a direction you like. Find a few trusted friends to cheerlead you. And, if a story isn't working for you, choose another one that will!

[the-bah-oracle]

What’s this I see in your future..? You will happen upon a mysterious stranger…

Hello there and welcome to the Build-A-Headmate Oracle, a blog hoping to foresee all your brain buddy needs…

We’re a mixed-origins system of 8-10ish, but I seriously doubt many of us will post. Yeah, we’re going to stick with the whole fortune-teller gimmick bc it’s awesome. We decided to post some alter packs here bc the ones we made worked for us. Twice. And so we figured we may as well share the good luck and positivity and such.

In all seriousness, here’s the rules, formats and mod list;

(Please be aware requests are closed for the time being…)

Rules

No hate speech. This should go without saying. Alters who have a tendency to say problematic things are fine, but those are their mistakes to make, not ours.

Nothing to do with Nazis, pedophilia, rape, homophobia, transphobia, terrorism, ableism, animal abuse etc.

If you want me to include paraphilias, kindly find another blog. I do not condone hate for paraphiles, but I am uncomfortable including them in these packs.

No anti-endogenic rhetoric (with some exceptions). We are staunchly pro-endo. If you want an anti-endo brain buddy to help keep yourself safe in an anti-endo environment, that’s fine.

No in-depth sexual requests. With all due respect, your kinks are your own, and I have no interest in them. I will not be including kinks in these packs.

If one of us gets bad ju-ju from a request, and they have a good enough explanation, we’ll have to deny it, sorry.

Formats

Please understand we will only take one format request for a headmate at any given time. If you like our contributions that much, feel free to come back and request another pack for your new friend after you’ve taken about a week or so to ruminate on what you’ve got so far and make all the changes that feel right and all the additions you can. These are intended for anyone to come along at any stage of new alter development and get what they need without anything they’ve already figured out. This is also so we don’t burn out, give up and abandon this whole project haha /srs.

New Moon

This is the most basic alter pack there is. A few names, some pronouns, preferences for gendered terms and two faceclaims, one from picrew, one from pinterest. This is a starting point, a place to jump off from. This deals with vague vibes and gives you a basic way to refer to the new guy/gal/toaster oven.

Waxing Crescent

The next step up in terms of information. Only offers genders, sexualities, aesthetics, sign-offs, roles and inspirations for songs/music taste based on general vibe/ask specifications.

First Quarter

This alter pack only gives username/internet handles, likes, dislikes, favourite shows, favourite movies, favourite books and favourite animals.

Waxing Gibbous

This is the alter pack specifying hobbies, habits (positive, negative and neutral), fronting triggers (again, pos, neg and neu), titles, basic opinions on various things specified in the ask, spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof), as well as various tumblr tags they would be interested in and will have one classical painting attached based on vibes and vibes alone. Please note that this pack takes the longest to complete.

Full Moon

This is only by request of IRL friends, or as a passion project in between requests. It encompasses all of the above, and then some if we feel like it. Please don’t request this. We will either not respond or ask you to just pick one of the above packs instead.

Mod List

(To be expanded when/if more of us join in)

Mod Moth: They/them, she/her, hy/hymn pronouns. Just call me Mod Moth or something similar :} . Sign-off: 🦋🔮

Mod Astral: They/she pronouns (heavy they/them preference). Refer to me as Mod Astral, please and thank you. Sign Off: 🗡️🌌

Mod Sigil: He/him only. Call me Mod Sigil, or Alastor. Be patient, if you will, as the internet is not my forté. Sign Off: 📻⚰️

Before you step into the mystic’s tent:

We are most familiar with the following sources:

The Magnus Archives

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

The X-Files

Marble Hornets

EverymanHYBRID

Most of the more popular slenderverse series tbh

Wings of Fire

Warrior Cats

Songs from the more popular alternative artists

My Immortal (yes the fanfiction)

Various MLP fanfiction characters/MLP youtube spoof characters

Arcane

Tarot cards (yes, the divination tools)

If we don’t know the source/character, please be warned that we will consult the fandom wiki for them or their TvTropes Page if applicable. We will do factives, as long as they are A) in possession of a Wikipedia page you can link, and B) dead.

Sources the cards refuse to read for..:

The Twilight Saga

The Dream SMP (probably just for now)

more to be added soon.

[overandundertarot]

What do you have to be grateful for?

There are many things around us that can skip our notice, but add so much magic and meaning into our lives. This reading is intended to bring some of those things to light.

Please keep in mind that this is a general reading so some parts may not resonate for you.

Please pick a picture/card(1-4, going left to right)

PILE ONE:

Cards; Page of swords, Page of cups reversed, 6 of swords.

Pile one, you have to be grateful for the people in your life who force you to take action. You are supported not just physically but spiritually as well. Sometimes you resist the help and signs given to you by your spiritual guides and they want you to know that that frustrates them. They're saying that you should be grateful that they put up with you, lol 💀. There is a lot of spiritual support in your life that has actually allowed you to unkowingly live in ease. For example, if you were supposed to be in a difficult situation eg the repurcusions of your actions, they softened the blow to make it easier for you. Pile one there is someything you're being called to do, something you have to leave for. It's giving you alot of anxiety which is why you may chose to be passive and stagnant but It's for your highest good. It's time to leave the situation. So, Pile one you have to be grateful for the unconditional love and support you have from your spiritual team, and some people in your physical life as well.

PILE TWO:

Cards; 9 of wands, the star reversed, 10 of swords.

Pile two, something you have to be grateful for in your life is that it's not as bad as it looks. You've been fighting for a while and it's beginning to take it's toll on you. Thoughts of despair, hopelessness and abandonement are filling your mind. But you have to be grateful that you've made it out alive. The situation is tough and stressing you out a great deal but there is a way out. Find somehting that can give you peace of mind and use that headspace to try and think of solutions. What you have to be grateful for is that there is a solution, a path of escape for you to follow. You just have to find it.

PILE THREE:

Cards;Wheel of fortune, 9 of cups, 9 of pentacles.

Wowww, pile three can i just say that i love your energy. What you have to be grateful for is that you have worked very hard to develop yourself, you've done a lot of work and have made the necessary sacrifices. Now it's time for you to enjoy the results of your hard work. You're very aware of what you have done and how much it means to you, I get the feeling that youve intentionally placed everything in your life to be the way that it is, and you maintain it with love and care; frienships, material possesions and most importantly yourself. You have trully developed yourself; overcoming trauma, toxic habits etc and now you understand and appreciate what's in your life everyday. Pile 3 you have to be grateful that you did the hard work, and are now receiving and experiencing the wonderful results this brought into your life. If you are not yet experiencing this, this energy is coming in very soon.

PILE FOUR:

Cards;3 of pentacles, 4 of swords, 10 of swords.

Pile 4 you have recently made a comeback or are going to make a comeback of sorts. You have been resting and gathering energy, working on a project or your craft and are now ready to rejoin the world and show it what you've been doing. However, you are plagued with anxiety about this. Something you might have done in the past was ill received and that completely crushed your spirit, so you are still holding that anxiety. What you have to be grateful for are your skills. The way your craft was/is perceived doesn't take away from its inherent value or beauty. It's not a carelessly produced project/craft, but something that you put a lot of love and care into. You must still have faith and present it, im seeing that it will greatly benefit your community and improve peoples lives on an individual level.

***

Thank you for participating in this pick a card reading!

These pictures are not mine, I found them on pinterest!