#i just hate seeing my local guys lose like this

[foegoal]

i’m still fully frothed from last night like the oat milk im gonna put in my coffee.

i literally hate playoffs so bad… there’s not a single rational hockey fan to be found right now and i want to shake everyone by their heads and yell

[silverselfshippingchaos]

this fandom loveesss to mischaracterize g.ladio... it's like people forget what his whole fucking dlc was about 😭

[selvepnea]

Today has certainly been a day

[prael]

Rivalry

Kinktember Day 8: Hate Sex

(G)I-DLE Shuhua x male reader smut

words: 4,799 Kinktember Masterlist

School rivalries can get fierce, but none as fierce as this one.

It's been drilled in since the very first day, no matter what class you were in. From math tournaments to football games, these schools live and die by their standing. If one of them wins, the entire school wins. If they lose, then the school loses with them.

The fun in this rivalry has long since been drained from the system, replaced with spiteful desperation and a toxic desire. The sort of thing that has spilt well beyond the competition hall or the sports field, so much so that local authorities have had to step in for the safety and peace of mind of the students who might've gotten hurt in the chaos.

Needless to say, no individual is really to blame—or maybe all of them are.

You're coming off the back of a crushing victory at the start of this year's Summer Cup, bringing home an early advantage that, to you at least, has meant you could finally take a breath of fresh air, relax, and support your school the rest of the way. You had been chosen for the bits of media coverage (some of this actually makes national TV) such as the post-game interview spots, something not particularly fun, but something that gives you a chance to enjoy the win and rub it in the face of the rivals. Meaning that you were late to the ice bath and the shower and you're now walking through the corridor alone, while everyone is outside awaiting the next game.

Everyone except her.

There's a girl, wearing an outfit in the colours of your rival. Her yellow (really short) shorts, and white top, rolled up to just below her bust.

"You're in the wrong place," you call out as she walks closer, but she says nothing and gives a casual side-eye as she tries to walk on by. This pisses you off, so you move to block her. "I said you're in the wrong fucking place."

"Funny," she replies through that contemptuous smirk is there. She doesn't even try to mask it. "Since you're the one that's in my way. Get lost."

"See that?" You point to the wall, to the crest of your school. "This is our building. You aren't supposed to be here. What? Can't you read?"

The girl, having fully shifted her attention to you at this point, folds her arms beneath her chest. "Oh, grow up. It's an athletics competition. This is an athletics centre. You can take your tribalism elsewhere, bud."

The nickname and condescending tone, the absolute nonchalance that this girl seems to be able to project when speaking to you...it does something. It sends a twitch through your fists. "My tribalism? You're the one sporting your colours in our building."

The girl makes a brief, sarcastic sound. "I hate you all the same, but that doesn't mean you can deny me using the toilet in here. Move."

"Why don't you walk your pretentious arse back out the door where you came from, find the one next door and use it instead? Just seems like some foolish excuse to come in here and sabotage us, you people have a track record of this shit."

"Yeah, or," she responds, giving the most fake smile, before taking a step forward into your space. "Maybe I really need to use a toilet. Ever consider that, smart guy?"

This close, you can really take a good look at her. From her petite and lithe, athletic figure, to her soft skin, and messy ponytail. Her demeanour, too, along with her hazelnut eyes and pouting lips. It takes a moment, but soon, you recognise her. This is Shuhua. Maybe the most vocal of your rivals. Known for her antagonistic behaviour, her temper, her endless mocking and recently her frustration with always coming second.

"I know you."

"Congratu-fucking-lations, now step aside unless you want me to piss down your leg."

You grit your teeth at her crude words, "Toilet huh? Okay. Use it, but I'm escorting you there and then back out of the building. I don't trust you as far as I can throw you."

"I don't know, I'm a pretty skinny girl and you're a strong guy, maybe you could throw me pretty far..." Shuhua says as she steps past you. "You can wait by the door, fucking pervert."

You roll your eyes but don't dignify the insult with a response. Instead, you make sure to walk closely by her side and lead her to the ladies toilet. "You've got five minutes."

"Oh no. So scared," she drones before you swing the door open for her. She's about to step in when she stalls and glances up at you. "Sure you trust me? What if I... Oh, what if I leave the tap running and waste your water? How's that for sabotage?" Shuhua absolutely drenches her words in sarcasm.

You pull the door closed, forcing her to step inside without waiting for a reply. Once more, your fist twitches at the annoyance.

A couple of minutes pass before the door finally swings open and you watch as the girl saunters back out with a self-satisfied smirk. "There, that wasn't so hard, now was it? Want to come in and check the taps?"

That, funnily enough, does make you laugh, if a little humourlessly. "Don't you ever get sick of yourself? Actually, scratch that, that was stupid to ask, of course not," you mutter. "You know, I almost feel sorry for your school. Having to deal with you must be a real fucking burden. Hey, what's that they say, one bad apple and all that."

"Ugh, the fucking ego," Shuhua shakes her head as if she can't believe the nonsense. "You're even worse in person." She sighs and gestures in a bid for you to lead the way back towards the exit.

"Sounds like jealousy to me," you retort and start walking, and she follows behind. "Doesn't feel great, does it?"

You don't have to look, her exasperated scoff speaks volumes. "Wow. Is this really what your school thinks? Of course, it is, why would I ever have thought differently. You are all so fucking alike. All stuck in this same, boring headspace. And for the record, no, it isn't 'jealousy'. There is no jealousy here because I, unlike you, can pull my head out of my arse."

She's nothing if not stubborn, and while you know she's trying to get a rise out of you, you bite, "You're all the same at that fucking school, this is who they raised. Vocal, obnoxious, bitter. Too much time caring about how you look rather than results—"

A door slams behind you. You turn. The door to the locker room. Shuhua has disappeared.

You rush into the door, throwing it open. Empty, or so it seems, but she has to be in here somewhere. You walk down the left row of lockers, taking slow, quiet steps. Listening, hoping to hear the smallest bit of movement. The crunch of feet, a giggle, the slight jangle of coins.

Nothing.

You're approaching the end of the row of lockers and nothing so far. You get right up against the corner, readying to quickly round it when you think you hear a small breath from just the other side.

Three, two, one, and you launch yourself around the corner.

Shuhua is right there, waiting, she grabs you by the shoulders and pins you against the lockers with a crash, before smiling sweetly.

"What the fuck are you doing—"

You're immediately hushed by the feeling of something soft pressed against your lips, followed by the press of a hand against your groin and a thigh, nestled right between yours.

It takes a moment. You're not quite sure how to process this. It's instinct more than anything that makes your hands come to grasp and clutch Shuhua's ass firmly. She grins and lets out an approving hum, slipping her tongue in while squeezing harder against your groin and getting another equally pleasurable response of you tightening your grip on her.

There's a few moments of this, kissing, back against the lockers, Shuhua against your chest. Then, your tongue meets hers, and she lets a soft moan into your mouth. A moment of weakness that allows you to shove her backwards against the wall with a thump. It takes less than a moment and you're both back at it again, clawing away at each other. Your body presses her into the wall, lips parting before briefly, quickly reconnecting. Shuhua doesn't resist, and not long after, you've parted the kiss, she's moved her lips to your neck and you're running a hand down her thigh.

"What the fuck are you doing?" you growl into her ear as your fingertips approach the edge of those frustratingly short shorts. "Did your little brain figure out you can't win these events so you have to find other ways to know what winning feels like? If you can't beat them, fuck them?"

The girl pulls herself from your neck and takes a fist full of your hair. "You piece of shit," she seethes. "Like you aren't desperate for this pussy."

You aggressively push your hand up under her shorts and she squeaks as you clutch the flesh of her ass in a tight grip. You pull her and she raises a leg around you. "This pussy? You have got to be kidding me. Have you seen the cheerleaders at our school?"

She uses her legs to push you aside, forcing you to swap positions with her. She has you against the wall now, and her hand has dipped down the front of your shorts. She's grinning, groping you in a tight, frustratingly wonderful, fist. "Bunch of bimbos who fall to their knees as soon as you turn on the charm."

"I didn't even have to turn on the charm for you. What does that say about you?"

She takes a firmer grip on your length and a loud groan escapes from deep within you. Shuhua can't help herself, her lips quirking into that insufferable smirk, her eyes shining. "It says that you couldn't take your eyes off my ass the entire walk down that corridor, you fucking animal. You were practically salivating. Just like you're doing now."

She uses her free hand to swipe her thumb against the corner of your mouth.

"Pretty sure that's yours," you tell her before you slide your hands up her exposed sides and slip your fingers under her shirt, pulling it up and she quickly raises her free arm so you can slip it over it and over her head, leaving it around the arm still buried into your trousers.

There she is, bra and tits on show and being fucking annoyingly hot.

Even if she doesn't stop you from undressing her, she still berates you for it, "Look at you, can't wait to touch them, can you. Are you really that simple? See a pair of tits and you get hornier than a fucking dog in heat?"

"So says the girl who can't get her hand off my cock," you reply, hand slipping beneath her bra and your fingers closing around her nipple.

She raises an eyebrow and looks down at her chest, "Did I say you could touch me there?"

"So now we're talking consent, Miss 'Grab-cock-ask-questions-later'?" you snarl, fingers rolling the nipple in between them. "A bit late, don't you think?"

Shuhua's really stroking you now, even with limited space inside your shorts, she's able to use her thumb to circle around your sensitive tip with each jerk. "Yeah, well. I didn't sign up to get molested by a dickhead like you."

"Right back at you."

Shuhua laughs a little then cracks a wicked smile, one that is as seductive as it is contemptuous. The girl shrugs, reaches a hand behind her and unclasps her bra. She takes her hand out of your shorts and lets it fall off with her shirt. Bare little tits with stiff nipples stare at you—and you stare back. "Never seen a pair before? Or just not a pair on a girl as hot as me?"

"I've seen better."

"Yeah, sure you have sweetie." Shuhua tugs at the waist of your shorts and underwear until she pushes them down to your knees. "You know..." she starts as her gaze drops down to your aching shaft. "There's a rumour at our school that all the guys in your school are decidedly average down there, and are real bad at using them," she looks you in the eye with an eager smile, biting her lip.

"Want to know what they say about girls at your school?" You grab a hand full of her tit in a tight grasp and squeeze her flesh firmly, eliciting a sharp gasp. "They say all the girls are sluts but are fucking terrible at giving head. Funny, since all you seem to do is run your mouth." You push her back until it's your turn to have her pinned against the lockers. "Here, I'll show you how you can put that mouth to better use."

Pushing down on her shoulders, you guide her to her knees. "Hey, I never said that I—" You jerk your hips and you hit her on the cheek with your length. "The fuck?"

"You've been licking your lips since you pulled my shorts down. Stop pretending this isn't what you wanted." You rub yourself against her cheek.

"I should tear this ugly cock right off," Shuhua says as she wraps her fingers around the base of it. Then, before you have time to register it, her mouth is already on you, engulfing your head. The sudden wetness around your most delicate part, her tongue dancing along it, the suction her mouth produces; it's hard to comprehend all of it. What she says and what her mouth is doing contradict one another.

Then her head begins to bob, her lips firmly wrapped around your cock. As she sucks, she simultaneously strokes it, making sure no bit of you remains unserviced. It doesn't take long for her to build a tempo, and it doesn't take long for you to want more.

Your hand locks around her ponytail and she shivers when you pull at it. She glares at you but doesn't complain and continues working your length. Her mouth feels absolutely exquisite—warm, wet, and tight. With every stroke, the desire to be buried inside her gets stronger. You groan, moving her faster on your shaft.

"Rip it off, huh? Look at you sucking me off like the needy little whore you are. Just look at you."

Shuhua moans into you and she keeps on sucking. The vibrations the noise creates are an absolute pleasure. Your hips buck and the motion takes the girl by surprise, who immediately gags as you hit the back of her mouth. She immediately goes to draw back but the hand locked onto her ponytail refuses her release.

"Where the hell do you think you're going," you force your hips forward.

And you're off. You begin facefucking this annoying girl, who struggles and chokes every time you go balls-deep into her mouth. Still, not once does she try to push your hips, or her teeth to bite. Not once does her head make any gesture to signal that she actually wants you to stop, or even ease off. It seems she's determined to prove that she's not only better than all your cheerleaders, or your classmates, but she's also determined to prove that she's capable of taking everything you give, and all without needing to ask for respite.

"You're so much prettier when you aren't talking," you taunt her.

As a response, she stabs her nails into your ass. Hard. The pain makes you roar, both in surprise and anger. Shuhua simply responds by sucking you harder.

As fun as this is, the urge to ravage her more is still incredibly high, even if that means pulling out of the confines of the girl's sinful mouth. You give it a good couple of minutes before you finally relent and let her go. You pull your hips back and Shuhua instantly coughs, splutters and falls backwards onto her rear.

"The fuck do you think you're doing? I'm not done with that. Get it back here." She spits those words at you angrily, looking almost disgusted, with spit drooling down her chin and coating her lips.

You look at her, hunched over the floor, panting, in only her little yellow shorts. Looking more beautiful and desirable than you ever remember her doing on camera or out on the track. You fall on your knees in front of her and push your hand into her shorts, causing her breath to hitch and her pupils to dilate.

"Well aren't you eager?" she hums, letting out a husky purr as your fingertips tease the delicate lips of her entrance. "What's up, couldn't take any more of my mouth? We're you going to cum so quickly? I know you've never had anyone quite like me before."

"Not even close to cumming," you sneer. "In fact, let's get one thing clear. I don't have standards as low as the boys in your school, I don't just cum at the sight of some tits and the feel of your trashy mouth." Your finger slips past her lips and a surprised moan escapes her throat. "God you're fucking soaked."

"Trashy?" she scoffs and slowly rolls her body in response to your intruding digit. "Should have seen your face with my lips around you, you fucking adored it, dickhead. If you want disappointment, try being in my shoes. This pathetic excuse for fingering? It's like when I did it for the first time."

"Yeah?" You drive a second finger into her and curl your fingers as you begin to stand, forcing her to follow you to her feet. You push your body against hers, pinning her to the locker, squishing those tits against you.

She lets out a taunting, "Yeah" this time, huskily, while arching her back a little, raising those beautiful breasts. "And my first time was real bad. I couldn't even make myself cum. Maybe we do have something in common." While she's talking, you're using your other hand to free her shorts and panties from her hips, sliding them over that juicy ass that you press against the cold metal locker. "I doubt you have ever made a girl c—"

You move fast and hard. Your fingers curled into her cunt, palm pressed against her clit, thrusting into her, and your eyes fall right onto hers, piercing, right into her soul. Her eyes widen with shock and then quickly darken and roll back. Those sweet, vicious lips of hers open as her mind is stunned into silence and her face contorts in pleasure. "Cute," you smirk, speeding up.

"I—I'm fine. You—" You push your other hand against her neck and you lean right against her ear.

"Shut your pretty mouth," you growl, you thrust your fingers deeper. Shuhua can't control the shocks of her own pleasure as she grows limp, her eyes rolling back, her moans coming out uncontrollably and rapidly. Her pussy is quivering, pulsing, you can feel her orgasm growing inside.

You push closer and kiss her as the muscles in her lower belly spasm, and she trembles as her cunt clamps down on your fingers. Shuhua pulls and scrapes her fingers along your skin. "Fucking god, fuck," the girl tries to continue to speak, but she is in total ecstasy. You drink the words directly from her mouth.

When you pull away, her body falls away from the locker, but you hold her tightly and dip a hand right under the curve of her ass, keeping her standing. You smirk triumphantly. "Who can't make you cum, bitch?" you tease her.

"Fuck you," Shuhua mumbles into your ear.

"Oh, you will." You shuffle across the room, finding the nearest bench and falling back onto it, pulling Shuhua onto you. "This is all you're good for, I bet." You pull your shirt over your head and then Shuhua throws herself against your naked body. Her tits press against your bare chest, and your stiff cock is trapped between your stomachs.

"We'll see," she breathes, running a hand into your hair and yanking at the locks as she pulls herself upright.

Your lips meet hers, a passionate and desperate union as the need to be in her consumes your every fibre. Tongues dance and your hands explore one another's bodies. Groping, stroking, touching, squeezing, grinding. When the kiss ends, she leans her forehead against yours, her eyes lidded.

"I hate you," you growl into the space in front of her.

"You too," she says, hoisting her hips up over your cock. With a mischievous and playful look in her eye, she furrows her eyebrows. "But you won't when this is over. You're gonna fucking worship me."

Before you can think to retort, she sinks herself onto you and, after what feels like a torturously long series of minutes of teasing and waiting, your bodies finally unite. Her inner walls are unbelievably hot and wet, squeezing down around you as if desperate for you to remain buried within her. Shuhua makes no attempts to hide her expression, her head rolls back and her teeth press down on her lip to conceal an enchanting whine. Her breasts press firmly into your hands as you hastily reach to cup them.

It doesn't take long at all for the pair of you to adjust, and you begin to pump your hips beneath hers. She's fucking down onto you too and it's a mess, there's no rhythm, two different bodies fighting to control a single movement, all the while searching desperately for the best result. You're on different wavelengths, and it's glorious, the chaos is addictive. It's raw fucking, and it's fucking amazing.

As frustrating and confusing as it is, nothing in the world feels better right now. Your chest heaving with every desperate gasp as she grinds onto you and around you, her lust-filled gaze still struggling to fight away your shared frustrations, it's raw and incredible.

"Oh God, right there." Shuhua squeezes her eyes shut and buries her forehead into the crook of your neck, her body shuddering and tensing with every push you make into her. Her pace on you is irregular, sometimes slow, sometimes fast. But as her orgasm grows inside of her, she sinks harder and deeper down upon you, taking you as deep as she possibly can and as often as you will give it to her.

"Bad at using it, am I?" you jest with a strained voice, slapping her ass hard as the impact causes it to ripple. "So bad that you're cumming already?"

"Tch." She goes to speak, to say something witty and defiant, but the sensation hits and her eyelids flutter, she twitches and lets out a shuddering moan as another climax hits her, "Ah fuck. God." Her nails dig into the skin of your chest, hard, painful enough that you hiss. "I'm doing all the work here."

"As you should be. Getting the privilege to ride my cock, the least you could do is break a sweat," you tell her.

She opens her eyes to flash you a glare and she slams her body down on your hips a bit faster. "You just know— that you couldn't— fuck as good as me."

Shuhua rides you mercilessly, completely lost in her desire to get herself off again. You enjoy the way her tits bounce and the way you can freely land a series of spanks on her bouncing ass.

"Guess that makes me more of a winner than you'll ever be." She tries to bite her lip, to hide it, but the pleasure that shines through her features is impossible to miss. She cums again, harder, no doubt about it.

This time, when the climactic orgasm subsides, she fights against her exhaustion with ragged, heavy breaths. You can see her lips twitch. Words escape her, so instead, she focuses on attempting to ride your cock even more mercilessly, just like earlier.

"Looks like you're all spent," you continue and push a hand onto her hip, steadying her before shoving her aside and away, pulling out. Shuhua topples and stumbles onto the floor, with her hands on the bench, breathing heavily. She's bent over the bench and her back glistens with a thin layer of sweat, her ass up in the air. Her body trembles with anticipation.

You don't hesitate. Not for a single second.

Before Shuhua can so much as open her mouth, you're behind her, your hands on her hips, her skin slick.

"Here's your loser's prize," you tell her as you slide back home, back inside her, feeling yourself plunged so deeply. Her thick ass presses against your hips and you spread it to push in deeper. You take in the beautiful view of her well-toned, petite back. The outline of every muscle stretches and flexes as she claws desperately at the benches as her pleasure is recharged, and restored, as though the fire is reignited with your touch. She lets out a soft little hiss, the briefest hint of displeasure that's quickly overcome by her passion for the raw sensation of sex. She relishes your presence and your length, and as she relaxes once more, she allows herself to sink into the rhythm of the rut.

You fuck her, taking pleasure in the way her body pushes back against yours, your balls slapping against her, and the obscene wet noises as you take her from behind. It's a dizzying crescendo, a desire so great that it cannot possibly be contained. To both yourself and Shuhua, desire cannot be denied, for you to cum inside her.

All you have left now is to pound the life out of this smug bitch's tight cunt, one hard, sharp, aggressive thrust after the other.

"Finally—" You raise a hand and bring it down upon the cheek of her arse. Hard, harsh, jiggling. The skin flushes and burns an angry red. She squeals in delight, she arches her body up as she takes the rough fucking. "Finally something useful has come out of your fucking school. One good pussy, just for me." Another slap. Another cry.

"Making me cum, is all you're good for. Just a cock," she spits back as her body shakes and bucks back onto your hardness, "One good fuck, just for me."

Shuhua straight-up shrieks when you wrap a fist up in her ponytail and yank her backwards, arching her spine. She cums again like this, and the hot rush of pleasure sends you spiralling off the edge yourself. It is utterly satisfying, the burning in your loins, and the immense pleasure that follows as your dick unloads in powerful spurt after powerful spurt. All of the tension evaporates, and all the negativity flows away as you find absolute pleasure. Shuhua takes what you give to her and it's absolute bliss.

For the longest moment, there's nothing but moans and grunts as you cum together before you let her collapse against the bench and you fall over her. Shuhua heaves beneath you, your warm fluids slowly leaking out around your exhausted cock. You suck in deep, gulping lungfuls of air as you grind out the final dying sparks of a well and truly mind-numbing orgasm.

"Still feel the same way about me now?" you groan. Your cock slips out, followed by a mixture of your combined orgasmic release.

Her head lifts. Hazel eyes focus and then fixate on yours. She almost manages to mask the grin, but she can't help it. Shuhua bites her bottom lip and glances at the space where, moments ago, your body had been conjoined.

"I still hate you. Don't think this means I'm suddenly a fangirl."

"Of course not, it's in your DNA to hate me. Just like how the sight of you still makes me sick." You place a kiss against the top of her spine and savour the brief hum of approval she gives.

"Uh-huh." Shuhua laughs. "Shame you couldn't last a little longer... I was just about to let you fuck my virgin ass." She lays her forehead against the cool wood of the bench, and you rest your head between her shoulder blades. "I guess my pussy is just too much for you."

"Or maybe," you hiss into her ear. "Maybe I'm saving that for the next time I catch your obnoxious ass around here."

"You think there will be a next time?"

"I know there will."

[swarvey]

Can you do bachelor hcs where farmer is like super hurt? Like blood gushing from their abdomen or smth?? Like basically life threatening

when they think you're not going to make it | sdv bachelors x gn!reader

summary -> how some of the boys react to seeing you come out of the mines unconscious with nearly fatal wounds. warnings -> blood and injuries, panic attacks, harsh language

a/n: basically a more severe version of this series lol, i hope you enjoy!!! <3 alex's is probs the longest bc i was inspired heh, i started with alex and shane, but lmk if y'all want more!

alex

feels like his throat is closing in on itself when he sees you all beaten up in harvey's clinic

harvey has to yell at linus to get him out of the room when he keeps trying to reach you

completely panics at the thought of losing you

he just doesn't want to be alone again

it was no secret alex hated hospitals, and harvey's small clinic was no exception. he always tried to leave his appointments with the doctor as soon as he could, and although he would accompany you to yours, he preferred to stand outside until you finished. everything about the environment was too much for him, too painful.

so when linus — the local homeless guy he never really cared to talk to — caught him on the street and practically begged him to go to the clinic, he wasn't entirely convinced. only when your name slipped off his tongue did his eyes widen, his feet moving before his mind could catch up.

alex hated hospitals, and now he had a reason to hate them even more.

"y/n?"

his voice was barely audible as the world around him began to fade, only focusing on your paled face and the blood-soaked bandage wrapped around your torso. his breath got stuck in his chest, and an all too familiar feeling began to swarm him —images of his poor mother laying in a cold hospital bed, monitors beeping rapidly as the doctors failed to save her.

not again. please, not again.

"get him out of here!" harvey demanded, pushing him away from your body. alex blinked, realizing he'd moved past the doctor and was desperately trying to hold onto you. "alex, you have to step away, or else i won't be able to help them."

"stop it, they need me! let me go," he loudly protested. he knew it was childish; he knew he sounded like the same kid he was all those years ago, begging to see his mom one last time, but he didn't care. this was you, and he couldn't lose you. he couldn't lose anyone else.

despite his efforts, alex was swiftly dragged away by linus's unexpected strength. before he knew it, he was standing outside the clinic in the cool evening air, chest heaving as he tried to breathe.

"take some deep breaths," the older man said, somehow sounding level-headed. "it'll be okay."

"the fuck do you know?" alex snapped, voice wavering. "you don't know anything about what it's like, do you? what it's like to lose someone? to watch someone die?" his voice hitched, tears beginning to well in his eyes before spilling down his cheeks. "i can't do this. i-i can't do this again, not again, not after last time — i can't—"

"hey." strong hands planted themselves on his shoulders, and his panicked gaze met linus's kind eyes. "this isn't the first time i've dragged people out of the mines, alright? trust me, i've seen worse. they'll be okay."

"you don't know that," alex replied weakly. "they might not make it."

"they're strong, you know that."

"she was strong, too. my mom was the strongest person on this planet." more tears blurred his vision. "look where she ended up."

linus sighed, dropping his arms. "she was," he agreed, and alex looked up in surprise, "but this is different, alex."

"how do you—"

"alex." he turned, meeting harvey's exhausted smile. "you can come in now." alex nodded, wiping his face with his sleeve and giving linus a a grateful look before walking in.

your face was still pale and you weren't awake, but it was clear you were much better than before. a new, clean bandage covered your abdomen, and an iv was attached to your arm.

alex let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "so, they'll be okay?" he asked, sitting on the chair beside you.

"yes, with some recovery, of course," harvey said, sounding just as relieved as alex felt. "though, i would strongly advise not letting them go to the mines for a while. an injury like this won't heal quicky, and it will likely scar. please talk to them after they wake."

"got it, doc. seriously, thank you so much." with another smile and a nod, harvey walked to another part of the clinic, leaving alex alone with you. he kept repeating the doctor's words in his head as he grabbed your limp hand, watching your chest fall up and down with each breath. "you'll be okay," he whispered, though it wasn't you he was trying to convince.

as alex drifted off to sleep next to you, he silently reminded himself to stop by linus's tent the following morning.

shane

he usually acts pissed at you whenever you get hurt, but it's only bc he knows you can handle yourself

usually you can, anyway, which is why he's worried when you don't come home when you said you would

he's quick to leave the house and immediately starts looking for you (tries to convince himself you're just running late)

in complete shock when he sees you in dr. harvey's arms as he rushes into the clinic with maru beside him

shane glanced at the clock for the fifth time in the last minute, frown deepening when you still didn't appear in the doorway. he could practically hear you chastising him for being too dramatic, but he didn't care — you'd never been this late before, and a tugging feeling in his gut told him there was something wrong.

swearing under his breath, he threw on his jacket and left the farm, telling himself that you probably just got caught up at the saloon, or maybe you stopped by the community center. then again, you had mentioned you wanted to get back into fishing—

"maru, get the door!"

a cold wave washed over shane's entire body, making him halt mid-step.

all he could focus on was your bloodied face hanging from harvey's arms as he rushed you into the clinic, maru hot on his tail.

for a second, time seemed to stop.

then, he was sprinting to catch the door and run in after them, panicked words spewing from his mouth before he could even process his thoughts.

"what the— what the fuck happened? where did you even—? are they going to be okay, oh shit, are they gonna wake up—"

"shane," harvey gritted out through his teeth, "you need to leave, now."

immediately, shane stood his ground, jaw clenched. "i'm not fuckin' going anywhere, not 'til they're awake."

"shane," the doctor repeated in a softer tone, eyes pleading with him, "i can't work on them with you in the room. this wound is deep — i need to operate, and you can't be here."

"please," maru added quietly, looking more distressed than shane had ever seen the typically laidback girl. "th-they might not make it."

harvey gave her a look, but didn't deny her words. shane felt his stomach drop.

then, wordlessly, he turned and slammed open the door into the waiting room, forcing himself into a seat as he bit back panicked tears. maru's words kept playing back in his head like a broken record, and suddenly, shane realized he might have to face a terrifying world without you in it.

"fuck," he cursed, letting his head fall into his hands to hide the hot tears streaming down his face. at first, he thought he was angry — he always told you to be careful, that you shouldn't be running around so damn carelessly all the time, you're not fuckin' invincible. you never listened, of course, always spewing something stupid about doing what's best for everyone. after hearing that phrase more than a handful of times, shane thought it was pretty reasonable for him to be a little pissed.

in that moment, though, who the hell was he kidding? he was nowhere near pissed; he was scared.

you couldn't die, not yet — not when he just got better, not when he still had so much left to say to you. the thought of never being able to see your smile again made him nauseous, and he wished he could rewind back to the morning so he could tug you back into bed with him. stay, he would say. you're not leaving my side today, alright?

he knew it wouldn't have worked. he would still try, though.

shane didn't realize how long he stayed in the same position until the waiting room doors creaked open, his head shooting up at the sound. harvey greeted him with a nod, which he returned stiffly as he stood up.

"d-did everything go okay?" he asked, swallowing in an attempt to soothe his rough voice. "are they—?"

"they're fine," harvey replied, a small smile upturning his lips at the sound of shane's relieved swears.

"thank fuck, i don't know what i would've— it doesn't matter, can i come in?" he barely waited for a response before slipping past the doctor and finding your bed.

he caught maru on her way out, giving her another nod. she smiled, wider than harvey's, before making her way to the other room.

shane hesitantly grabbed your hand as he sat down in the chair beside you, scared he might break you if he held you too roughly. when you didn't stir, he laced his fingers with yours and held them to his forehead, pressing a firm kiss to the back of your hand.

"you scared the shit out of me," he sighed, shaking his head. "god, i don't know what i would've done if you— if i couldn't—" he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence, resorting to giving your hand another kiss. "you better wake up, you hear me? i'll fuckin' kill you if you don't." he half expected you to answer. he could hear your voice in his head telling him to stop acting so tough, that you could see right through him.

instead, the sound of your steady breaths filled the room, and even then, shane felt like that was your way of telling him everything would be okay.

[azaleax-x]

if you’re taking requests for said X reader, you’ll NEVER guess which Housewarden I want <3.

Riddle. RIDDLERIDDLERIDDLERIDDLE BARKBARKABRKABRK. Ahem… tangled AU, please, for the love of god.

(I would also settle for Azul or Epel <3. I have a type LOL)

ALSO I WAS ON YOUR CHARACTER AI AND I MISREAD THE RIDDLE BOT AS ‘impregnated’ INSTEAD OF INTERROGATED

MY BRAIN IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE KINGDOM DANCE!! It's so iconic. I have the song in my playlist. TOO GOATED. I know people probably want the lantern scene but erm... maybe part 2 guys.. part 2...

I know Rapunzel is the one who starts the whole dance, but I ERMM didn't know how in character that would be for Riddle. So, reader is the one initiating it!! Sorry guys!!

Notes: Reader is GN, not proofread, might write part 2 with the lanterns, first time writing a real fanfiction after a billion years

Kingdom Dance (Rapunzel! Riddle Rosehearts x Flynn Rider! Reader)

or, at least, my twist of the Kingdom Dance...

Loud laughter can be heard from miles away. Shoes clack against the concrete to go with the rhythm of the music. The people who are not dancing are clapping, echoing the beat of the music. The atmosphere is lively, even the elderly are having a fun time.

And then there's Riddle.

He takes a step back as a couple whirl past him, catching a glimpse of their joyful faces.

How overstimulating... He thinks.

His hand subconsciously goes to rake through his hair, a habit he does to keep his nerves still, but he is reminded that the local kids braided it for him. A feat that he never knew was possible. How was he even dragged into this..?

He looks back at the bustling dance floor, his eyes immediately finding you, the culprit of his rebellious behavior.

You're laughing in glee as you twirl with a stranger, somehow not losing the rhythm of the dance. You had managed to create this whole phenomenon by yourself, a sight that would give his mother a heart attack! Just at the thought of his mother makes him take another step back, wanting to be away from the *horrible crime scene*.

Then you make eye contact with him, causing him to freeze up. Riddle watches as you stop dancing, giving him a grin that he has learned to -adore- hate. You make a hand motion for him to come over, but he just furrows his eyebrows. He was hoping you would give up at his stubbornness, but his heart could only beat faster as you sighed in defeat and walked *toward* him. It's just the nerves, he tells himself. Why would he be excited at the idea of you inviting him to dance? With you??

"Riddle! Why don't you come and join me?" You ask loudly over the music, to which he just scoffs at the question. You already knew the answer, and yet, you waited for him to speak.

"Why should I? This is just... wrong! My mother would be disappointed in me," Riddle responds, voice dripping with annoyance. He tries to stand his ground, but the urge to join you gets stronger each second, and he feels like you could see through him.

"You helped me escape the guards. At a pub." You retort, "I'm pretty sure dancing is the least of your concerns."

"...." His face turns red as he clenches his hand in offense. Riddle hates the shit-eating grin on your face, wanting to wipe it off.

"Well-!" Before he could snap at you, you go to grab both of his hands, dragging him to the middle. In a way, he's thankful that you did so since he would most likely spew out something embarrassing to defend himself.

"Exactly! So, come on! Don't be a bum," you laugh, and he hates himself for perking his head up at the sound of your laughter.

You can't help but find his mindset a bit hilarious. He snuck out of the tower, *willingly*, too! According to your calculations, that might be a bigger offense. "Worst case scenario is that we get chased by guards, but we can be discreet."

"As if! Anybody is going to recognize you from your wanted poster. You're literally posing in it! Are you even listening? Stop dragging me-!" He stammers his usual complaints, stumbling as he tries to keep up with you, accidentally bumping into a few people. He doesn't even have time to apologize since you're a little too excited dragging him to the middle. Somehow, he doesn't have the heart to pull away, not wanting to see the dejected look on your face.

"I would ask if anyone taught you manners..." He trails off with a disappointed look, averting his eyes to look at a wanted poster with your face on it. It looks like you're posing for a photoshoot...

"And did anyone teach you not to trust strangers? Not everyone is truthful like me!" You bite back playfully, trying to withhold your giggles since he would most likely hit you with his pan again.

Despite his irk at your snide remarks, his eyes are always on your face, admiring the playful gleam in your eyes. He knew you were a criminal, someone he shouldn't even be talking to, but he can't help that he desires to be closer to you.

You quickly take the initiative, putting a hand on his hip and taking his left hand in yours. Riddle becomes red at the proximity, but your warmth allows him to slowly ease up. With defeat upon knowing that he won't be able to leave, he finally allows his lips to form a small but soft smile at your childlike glee.

"It's really simple, okay? We just twirl and jump around with the rhythm of the music! Try not to step on my feet, though," you lightly tease him, starting with slow movements for his sake.

"Those are rather vague instructions. Is there a rulebook? What if I mess up?" He worries, a little too much in your opinion. You watch him stumble for a moment, often having to hold him up with your arm around his waist.

"It's called following the flow, silly." You can only lightly tease him for now since the poor soul is nervous as hell.

With every small mistake he makes, you squeeze his hand reassuringly, encouraging him to keep going. You're patient with him as he tries to keep up with your steps, gradually increasing the pace. He keeps his eyes on you, slowly joining your small laughing fit as he gets the hang of it. His hesitance has faded, and for the first time in his life, he feels at genuine ease. He isn't living in fear of his mother seeing him. He isn't worried about completing a textbook full of complicated problem. He's only worried about staying with you, not wanting to let you go just yet.

To your surprise, he starts taking the lead. He spins both of your around with a childish laugh, making *you* the one stumbling around. His long braid flows with the breeze, the flowers somehow staying on with all the movement.

"Who would think you would be the one stumbling now?" Riddle teases you with a smug expression, a rare sight for you. You were used to the scowls and sneers, but this? You huff to distract yourself from your reddening cheeks.

You want to form a retort since you hated to be beaten in your own game of banter, but the music comes to an end, which didn't even realize until now. Riddle, with his sudden boldness and wanting to end strong, he pulls you closer to him, chest to chest. You guys look at each other for a moment, your eyes widening. Riddle's lips are in a soft smile, his hair now having stray aways from dancing so vigorously. To notice his eyes glancing down at your lips, causing you to tighten them into a line as the sudden wave of nervousness hits you.

The moment is interrupted when the crowd cheers and claps for you both. This is where Riddle comes back to reality, quickly pulling away. You guys didn't even know you were the star of the show! He quickly tucks a small strand of hair behind his ear, not knowing what to do with all of the attention. To his surprise (not really), you burst out laughing.

"WOW! Talk about being discreet, huh?" You giggling heartily, not looking away from him. He can only mentally roll his eyes, but your giggling is contagious as he soon joins you.

"Yeah..." His laughter dies on as he goes back to focusing on you.

As much as he hates to pretend otherwise, he has grown fond of you, the sole person who is willing to show him what life has to offer. Maybe in the end, even after the lanterns, you're willing to stay by his side.

----

I think what I struggle with is focusing on the reader 💔

As a c.ai bot creator, I'm used to focusing only on the character. So, THIS IS DIFFERENT. I TRIED GUYS... PLEASE DON'T BULLY ME

[unalivejournal]

imagine a tumblr simulator set in the velvet goldmine universe lmfao

2 notes

🎹 wilderatz Follow

DNI if you still support br*an sl*de after the shooting hoax. what he did was fucking unacceptable and pathetic. the panic and heartbreak on the dashboard that day was absolutely traumatizing. and the fact that it was all for cheap publicity makes it even more despicable. if you HAVE to listen to his records the least you could do is buy them secondhand

#so glad curt never cut that record with him

186 notes

⭐️ glittersisgay

i got new boots! seeing the flaming creatures tonight :-) life is good

4 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼 wildemons Follow

sorry but the sladewild narrative is CRAAAAZY. like imagine you start off as a nobody performer and becoming enthralled by this rockstar after he shows up your act and you end up becoming famous by being inspired by his stage presence AND YOU BECOME FAMOUS ENOIGH TO GO TO AMERICA AND MEET THIS GUY AND YOUR LABELS START FABRICATING A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN U TWO TO GENERATE PUBLICITY FOR YOUR NEW ALBUM BUT THEN YOU ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE AND HAVE TO KEEP IT A SECRET BUT THEN THE PAPARAZZI FINDS OUT AND YOU HAVE A HUGE FALLING OUT BUT THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER YOURE SPOTTED IN THE CROWD AT THE DEATH TO GLITTER SHOW

♻️ 🦷 roxytunes Follow

lmfao WHAT are you talking about. swear to god i’m sick of you invasive freaks trying to make things up about real peoples lives. the part about the labels trying to market slade and wild as a couple isn’t even true. yes they were heavily publicized as close friends but they never admitted to being in a relationship. also receipts on brian being at the death to glitter show???? stop spreading false information

♻️ 👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼 wildemons Follow

anyways watch out for my new sladewild maxwell demon tour era fic that will be published in my next zine 💋

#my mutual was literally next to him in the crowd.

58 notes

🪩 girlboydragdemon

at the Sombrero Club with the glamrocktuals YAYYYY

♻️ 🪩 girlboydragdemon

Hangover.

#we may have made. mistakes. #also we think brian slade’s former manager was in the booth behind us

11 notes

🌟 venusinpurrs

♻️ 🎸 balladofmaxwellsemen Follow

WHY ARE WE PITTING THREE BAD BITCHES AGAINST EACH OTHER

♻️🌟 venusinpurrs

better question WHY ARE VENUS IN FURS LOSING GUYS CMON ITS OBVIOUSLY THE RATS

♻️🌟 venusinpurrs

do you people hate dykes

244 notes

💋 jack-fairy-fan51 Follow

Anyone else feel like this Tommy stone guy showed up out of nowhere?

6 notes

❇️ 20th-cxntury-bxy

Well…. it’s been a fun time on the road with Malcolm & co. (@/theflamingcreatures) but in the months following the hoax and the death to glitter tribute I’ve been feeling more and more inclined to move on. idk. i know there’s still an active tumblr community but in the real life scene it feels like everyone’s just…. given up. I’ll be starting a new job soon and won’t have a lot of time to post. Might delete this blog in the near future. remember to support local shows and keep being yourself

#a.journal

0 notes

👨‍🎤 lipstickkissedelbowglove

word on the street is that mandy slade divorced brian???? lmao get his ass

♻️👨‍🎤 lipstickkissedelbowglove

[#finally i have a chance with her]

you’re funny if you think any of us on this site have an inkling of a chance with her

2,658 notes

🎸 balladofmaxwellsemen Follow

Just found this on the sidewalk. does anyone know what it is?

7 notes

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Scripted Bracket — Round 3

Propaganda

Peter Nureyev (The Penumbra Podcast: Juno Steel):

His character is the reason the term "Homme Fatale" became a thing

Homme fatale, living by the mantra of be gay, do crime. V secretive and just the right amount of flirty. Also I love him

He’s a slutty master thief who slept with a detective he went on 1 date(murder case) with and then fell ass over tea kettle in love. Literally can’t think of anything sexier

Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats):

An extremely agoraphobic mortician of a local funeral home who has every disease. Nervous wreck. Makes noises when stressed. An artist at heart (her embalming fluid is imbued with the fragrance of cinnamon).

she's the goth gf of your dreams. she's an undertaker, a romance novelist, a hot air balloon pilot, and she has interiority for days

It's antigone or unfollow me

please, everyone, antigone deserves this. she ghost-wrote a wildly successful erotic novel and then faked the death of the fake author. she didn’t leave her house for 17 years except to go see horny french films every thursday. she accidentally ended up in a love triangle with a hot domme lesbian circus ringmaster and her own employee. she broke up with a doctor after one date because he didn’t respect her career (and also his parrot hated her). she experienced years of carnal yearning for her professional rival only to finally realize she was actually okay on her own. she drinks embalming fluid. she thinks of funerals as an art form. she was diagnosed with depression as an infant. she wanted to be a clown when she grew up. her hero is a historical female scientist who has a statue with her tits out. she’s been attacked by owls. a bunch of children thought she was a forest witch. the rest of the village thought she was dead. she has committed multiple counts of breaking and entering. she designed artisanal chocolates that put you in a temporary coma. she can’t eat her own chocolates because she’s allergic to everything. she attracts shadows like a magnet. she’s a woman in STEM. if you have any love in your heart for goth weirdgirls you’ll do the right thing. ANTIGONE SWEEP

GUYS PLEASE

PLEASE VOTE FOR ANTIGONE!!!!!

CMON DON’T LET MY GIRL “CANNONICALLY WANTED BY EVERYONE ON THIS ISLAND” LOSE!!!

Considering committing voter fraud for Antigone. My girl 😔

Vote Antigone because do you understand how narratively satisfying it would be if she won??? Season one? She could barely go outside her mortuary. Season four? Modeling for a sexy calendar. THE CHARACTER GROWTH!!!!!!! Nothing more sexy than that.

COME ON Y'ALL VOTE ANTIGONE. VOTE FOR MY HORNY GOTH QUEEN!!!!!

VOTE ANTIGONE OR DIE

IF YALL DONT VOTE ANTIGONE UR BLOCKED. This isn’t even a joke.

[flwrkisses]

boyfriend! sunoo.

idk if you guys know this but i love sunoo with my whole heart so writing this made me so so sooo happy :)

request: sunoo bf canons? 💐 - @smouches !!

genre: fluff. established relationship. headcannon.

warnings: mentions of arguments, skinship and kissing.

❀˖° heeseung jay jake sunghoon sunoo jungwon ni-ki ..

- sunoo is the definition of friends to lovers. he's so just so out going and he loves to talk to people that, he would automatically become your friend first. even if thst wasn't his original intention.

- he spends so much time with you, accompanying you everywhere. and frankly just loves the fact that you trust him in the way you do. so when he randomly confesses his feelings over coffee. you have no idea how to react.

- at first he was confident but your hesitation to respond made him a bit nervous. he would hate to lose a friend over something like this. however, when you confessed back he couldn't help but smile.

- something he always does, is bring you snacks or sweet treats. he always picks something up before seeing you incase you havent eaten or have a craving.

- he's just so unbelievably caring. he'd always put your comfort over his. and makes an effort to write down things like your favorite foods, colors, flavors, scents. in order to get you things or make sure you're comfortable at all times.

- one thing he loves to do is spoil you, if you go shopping with him he wouldn't let you touch your wallet even once. everything is on him.

- while on the topic of shopping dates, sunoo loves shopping with you because you can both give eachother honest opinions on items. he trusts your judgement 100% just like you trust his.

- even if he says couple items are a little cheesy, he would go out and happily buy matching couple outfits or try to cordinate his outfit with yours before going on dates.

- you guys would 100% have matching earbud cases. and it would be the cutest thing. he might even convince you to get matching phone cases too.

- his love language is sharing his food. he also expects you to share as well. it's a two way street in his eyes. to the point where he probably wouldn't even ask before taking a bite. he argues that you guys are partners and partners share everything.

- sometimes you both go out on snack dates where you go to the local convience store and pick out snacks you've never heard of before and try them together. it always makes him laugh when you make a funny face and he knows the snack isnt good.

- you must praise him. he loves hearing pretty things about himself it makes him feel so loved. bonus points if each compliment is said between kisses. he might get a little shy inbetween but seeing him blush is so worth it.

- he lets you squish his cheeks, something only reserved for you. especially if you're gonna call him cute while doing it. he lives for it.

- sunoo loves nights where you both just stay in and play a cheesy movie in the background just to gossip over each other's friends. he listens to all your tea and even gives his own opinions on it. even if he's never met the people you're talking about he's interested in the story you're telling and their situation.

- sometimes he begs you to let him do your make up, he watched a couple tiktoks and swears he knows what he's doing.

- the same goes for cutting your hair, sunoo actually really likes styling and cutting hair so if you let him he'd cut your bangs for you after they've grown out a bit too much. its one of the ways he shows he loves you, he's not bad at it at all.

- he also takes the best pictures of you, his camera roll is full of cute pictures of you they almost out number his own selfies.

- you share clothes with eachother. just like before he claims "partners share everything." so one day you could be wearing his sweater and another day he's wearing one of your oversized shirts. might as well just share a closet at that point.

- when ever you're upset or not doing well, he makes it his mission to make you feel better. no matter what. bringing you snacks, making cute faces, sending you heartfelt messages, just simply loving you so much he knows you wouldn't be able to resist a smile.

- he gets so cutely clingy and is not ashamed to tell you when he just wants to lay and cuddle with you all day.

- the words "i love you." would slip out of his mouth so easily. he would probably be the first one to say it, however it would somewhat bother him if you didn't say it back.

- he's not exactly extemely jealous or possessive but, he knows how to set proper boundaries. he's okay with most things however, would prefer you have a conversation with him first to see how you both feel about what ever situation you might get into with someone else like a friend or stranger.

- expect sunoo to say things like "would you still love me if i was a worm?" and he would be dramatic if you said no.

- your phone is never safe. sometimes he grabs your phone and downloads the same game he has on your phone just so he can help himself out with your account. because of this he teaches you how to play his mobile games and you guys end up playing together all the time.

- as expected mint choco dates. he says he wants someone who likes mint choco but he also lowkey realized that if you don't like mint choco it means he doesnt have to share his ice cream. so it works either way.

- if anyone were to ask him what the best part of his days are. it's being able to unwind with you at the end of the day. when you both are doing your skin care in the bathroom and wearing cute head bands. just overall relaxing and getting ready for bed. he loves it.

- he would probably beg for you to let him do your skincare sometimes. sunoo would also be so excited to show you the new skin care he bought and wants you to try it right away.

- you'll unforunately be the victim of the sassy man apocalypse. this man is saaaaasssy and he would expect to get his way in the end 100% no matter what.

- fights are rare considering sunoo would prefer to be with someone similar to him. he talks a lot and enjoys having conversations so if theres any disagreements or misunderstandings he would simply talk it out with you.

- he also enjoys laying in bed and talking all night with you. one time you guys talked for a really long time about so many different things. that the sun came up and surprised you both.

- expect texts from him all the time! he loves texting and probably connects with you the most through text. he asks you how your day is, what you're up to. he also sends you lots of selfies.

- while on tour he whines about missing you a lot especially when something doesnt go his way or he's being beyond pouty. it gets to the point where the others call you and tell you that your boyfriend's pouting again.

- surpisingly, you are the only person aloud to play with uis hair. he only lets you put pig tails in it or add clips or even losely braid his short hair. he loves the feeling of your hands in his hair.

- if you're someone who is shyer or just more quiet. he would speak for you in public because he knows you don't like it. like when you're ordering food or asking for something st a store. he does it for you to make sure you're comfortable.

- because of his pre existing lung problems he does fall ill very often and you're always there to help him. he feels like a burden and most times apologizes to you for it however, you always comfort him and tell him not to speak of himself that way. you're a partnership meaning you're there for eachother regardless. and he lives by that.

- you get this warm feeling when ever he's around. even if he's not physically next to you, hearing him in the kitchen singing a random song or hearing his laugh from the living room makes the space so warm.

- both of you value laughing and not being too serious in your relationship. so the vibes are always perfect even if theres slight teasing.

- sunoo would assign you an animal so everytime he sees that animal, or a plush/toy of that animal he thinks of you. it's created a bit of a problem because now he has a collection of that animal in the corner of his room and no one would understand why except for you.

- communication between you guys is so effortlessly well. you both understand eachother and seem to always be on the same level. it's gotten to the point where you guys can communicate with looks. no words needed.

- overall, the relationship is very sweet. sunoo is such a caring and loving boyfriend. don't we all wish to have a sunoo? sigh.

©flwrkisses ; please do not copy, translate, repost and/or reuse my work without my permission. (2023)

masterlist. — requests are open!

[jewish-vents]

first - i just want to say thank you for making this blog. it’s so important to know that we aren’t alone in the many things we’re experiencing and feeling right now, especially when so many of us have become painfully isolated as of late.

i apologize for how long this one is going to be.

i’ve been feeling so, so alone recently. my tumblr dash has been cut down to just a handful of jewish blogs that i can trust to be kind and understanding and nuanced, but it means that the majority of the content i see is about antisemitism and the war. after a while, it becomes draining to scroll through what feels like endless sadness. i turned to looking at fandom tags instead of following fandom blogs, but it makes me feel equally as insane to click on a blog about race cars and immediately see a post with 60k notes calling what’s happening in gaza “the new holocaust”. i started going back on twitter, but fan accounts on there too are only safe for a day or so before the account owner shares some awful antisemitic tweet from an account known to be an anti-jewish extremist. i went back on instagram briefly, but i was soon afraid to look at people’s stories for fear i’d see something terrible and lose yet another trusted person from my life.

in person, i have to walk by signs saying “zionism = genocide” and hastily scribbled palestinian flags with the colors in the wrong spot on my way to class every day. a wall across from my apartment says “BDS” in giant letters. i haven’t opened my curtains in months because of it. a “protest” of about 25 people stood in the center of campus and yelled and waved their fists in passing students’ faces, so jewish students didn’t go to class on any of the days they gathered. i only have one non jewish friend left at school - the rest abandoned me because i either called them out on antisemitic rhetoric or refused to go along with the idea that anyone, palestinian or israeli, muslim or jewish, is less than human. i had taken several of them along to our hillel’s seder in the past. i don’t know who i can safely go with this year. i have a few jewish friends, of course, but i love bringing goyische friends with little connection to judaism along to experience how joyful and loving jewish holidays can be.

it feels like there is no escape from this fucking war. it sickens me that it’s the only thing people pretend to care about - where is the attention for sudan, ukraine, armenia, uyghurs in china, syria, guyana? how is putting an emoji in your twitter bio or putting a translucent overlay of the palestinian flag on your tumblr icon any sort of real activism? how have we gone from “antisemitism is wrong” to “(((zionists))) control the world media”? it seems like the war is a fandom to these people. it seems like nobody cares enough to fully read and think critically about what they share, let alone do real research beyond looking at an infographic somebody shared on their instagram story. they’ll add on “don’t forget your click today!” to an unrelated twitter thread that went viral, flip the bird at the local starbucks, and put “won’t you free my palestine” on their instagram stories. they’ll anonymously tell a jew online to commit suicide. they’ll feel secure in the knowledge that they’re the perfect leftist, that this is somehow “good trouble”. all this praxis, and nothing to show for it but massive surges in hate crimes against jews. good job, guys! you singlehandedly saved every innocent person in gaza!

it’s isolating. it’s scary. jews can’t mourn. jews can’t be angry. jews can’t disagree. jews can’t suffer. jews can’t be whole, complex people with diverse beliefs and experiences. suffering is a game, and the goal is to hurt the most, scream the most, die the most, all to appease western leftists whose closest connection to war and violence was reading the hunger games in middle school.

i’m tired of it all. i want a peaceful and just resolution to the war. i want the mindless hatred everywhere to stop. i want to be able to scroll through social media and see nothing but fandom. i want to walk through campus with my magen david showing and all the friends i lost by my side on the way to the hillel seder. i want to open my curtains again. i know the experience of one diaspora jew is nothing compared to what people living in israel and palestine are currently going through, yet i still need this all to end. i don’t think any of us can go on like this, but we must, because we have. for thousands of years, we’ve gone on. that still doesn’t mean it has to be this hard all the time.

all i can think is “now we are slaves. next year may we be free.” now we are slaves to hatred and violence and suffering. next year may we all be free. next year may we all be in jerusalem.

.

[revalition]

OCT 13 - SUGGESTION Charm men and women. Play the puppet-master.

snake suggestion my beloved. that will very likely not be the last of you see of him haha. making the most of my weird skill dreams

lots of great quotes under the quote! and valuable insights! (not actually valuable, but shh) would recommend looking through them more than usual though!

suggestion quotes! I had a complete disinterest in this guy tbh, I was rather distracted by the other, arguably better, purple skills in my high PSY playthrough and then I had super low PSY my second and barely heard from him. So it was a lot of fun finding these cause I hadn't seen lots of it yet!

fun suggestion facts from my spreadsheet as well

- he says 'please' to you one time and 'sorry' to you zero times! he might encourage you to do both plenty but is a reasonably unapologetic skill himself (though does resort to self-deprecation several times)

- he has a perfectly average swear score of 5 (I have everyone's swear scores! right now they're only based off of shit and fuck though. so there's room for improvement)

- Says "I" and "we" a perfectly even number of times (not counting quoting others) which I count to deduce if the skill is self centered or not lmao

- refers to kim as "kim" once and lieutenant 20 times! he is respectful of kim!

anyway!

absolutely no way these weren't going in here. confirmed the most useless, compromised skill of all!! (please fire him) also the only guy to give volition a nickname <333 but please dont ever talk about him like that again suggestion

failing this suggestion check over and over! suggestion noooo... resorting to begging at the end. *puh-leeeeeze* 😭

another gorgeous suggestion fail! what a guy

who let this stupid skill into harry's head?

not the two separated words 'bad ass' hghh. this isn't even the only time!!! he writes it as bad-ass *once*. and! he's the one who tells you not to make fun of garte for saying it as two words

suggestion's actually really observant! and has lots of insights into kim!

like he makes sure you know when you did something that lowered kim's opinion of you :) thanks buddy

this is extremely important. I can *hear* his voice cracking on the sorry cop when I read it.

I got called out for being a sorry cop *so* early into my first playthrough. and it was absolutely personal. and I was like wow, I hate this guy already, what's his problem? :)))

(the sorry cop dialogue didn't come up at all my second playthrough haha)

what better idea than to use the expression on evrart? two local idiots advising you :)

it's hilarious to me that succeeding this check against Klaasje at the beginning of the game results in suggestion just telling you not to do it. it's that bad of an idea. it could never succeed.

holding this suggestion failure very gently. I don't remember Suggestion being named Social Anxiety???

ty suggestion, you tell him

sad suggestion :( nooo sweetie you're not. well. maybe a little.

hghkj capitalist suggestion!!

that's what you get for not listening!!

not a screenshot cause I ran out of space but just shoving this in here

+2 Authority: Nothing to lose

+2 Suggestion: I always liked you the best

these are the research bonuses from finger on the eject button. who is he referring to?? :,( you as in harry? you as in authority? a more vague 'you'?

as always, I have to include the super sad dream quotes. poor guy. it's not your fault.

this is so funny. good try suggestion... good try

he's hilarious

look at my two idiots :) <3 look at them.

my delight upon getting this in my first (high PSY) playthrough! we got kim to wear the jacket!

small suggestion win

why does he talk like that??

why? why? shhhh

hating him. throwing suggestion at the wall.

this stupid skilllll

he's an idiot.

volition, with his head in his hands, every time suggestion opens his mouth

thought this was interesting. is suggestion able to infer things from shiver's visions? the way the skills interact with shivers fascinates me endlessly. especially since at one point one of them asks if you've asked the wind for advice before - can they not hear her?? I haven't dug into the shivers dialogue enough yet. next week...

he has so much insight into how to talk to people! gotta put at least one example of him being useful in here...

look at them. they are like oil and water. authority calls him a groveling sycophant so. deserved.

(also merriam webster defines a sycophant as "a servile self-seeking flatterer" and I love that.)

((and servile means "having or showing an excessive willingness to serve or please others" because I had to look that one up too))

is suggestion just a people pleaser under it all? :( why I gotta empathize with even the worst of these guys. echem too, there's *so* much good intention buried under layers and layers of bad coping mechanisms and personality issues and internalized misogyny and self doubt. And those things twist what could be really good advice on communicating and connecting with other people into something manipulative and ugly.

........

.............

(reluctantly picks him up and holds him gently) it's okay. you can heal too someday.

also! there are ZERO suggestion passive fails :( the only other skill with none is H/E coordination (who has like, a quarter the amount of passives sugg has). but it's okay, he gets lots of active fails to make up for it I guess.

that's it for suggestion. I went in here expecting to make a compilation of idiot suggestion quotes (and mostly did) and ended up being endeared by him instead. oops. that's the problem with all these guys, they're *so* strongly shaped by Harry's thoughts and feelings and experiences. Someone else's Suggestion skill might barely be slimy at all. would it still be named Suggestion then?

(mildly related but I don't have a Suggestion in my own system, at least afaik. Which isn't saying a lot because I thought there were only 6 skills in here a week and a half ago and that was. not at all right. so. but it only makes me wonder about him more!!)

[seat-safety-switch]

Recently, my local grocery store bought a robot to keep the shoplifters at bay. Now, it doesn’t do the full Robocop routine: this thing is shaped like an enormous buttplug on wheels and doesn’t even have any onboard weapons. What it does do is get in the way of my cart, often when I’m setting up multiple-element produce-aisle drifts, and then take half an hour to do a million-point turn to get out of my way. I don’t have this kind of time, especially when the carton of ice cream I pocketed is melting in my coat.

So, the obvious answer: break into the thing, pull all of its parts out, put them in the bottom of my cart and then drive them through the self-checkout, which likely hates its new coworker and will be happy to see its guts scattered across the dirt floor of some creep’s suburban garage. The robot makers, however, saw me coming. They put my worst enemy on the job: security fasteners. Special, proprietary screw heads, of a type which I did not carry on my person at all times.

We had a problem, then, the two of us. I would need more time to complete my action, so I stuck a can of artichoke hearts under the robot’s wheels, causing it to lose traction. In response, it beeped furiously for help that would never come, from the same minimum-wage workers it was meant to replace. Taking the initiative, I used my shopping cart to wedge its gleaming white plastic body up against the bottom of the soup shelf, where it writhed in agony, its optics and radar futilely searching for an opportunity to escape. Then I walked over to the hardware aisle, which – although surprisingly generous for a grocery store, the reason why I “patronize” it – did not contain any security screwdriver bits, or even a plasma torch. I opted, then, for a flathead screwdriver and a hammer, and returned to the robot.

I’ll never know what it saw in its last moments of life as a complete object, but it was probably me lifting the hammer aloft as I drove the last of the mangled security screws loose from the cage holding its thought matrix. After I removed it from the sea of shattered plastic and wiring and looked up what it goes for on eBay, I realized that it would probably just have been cheaper to let it follow me out into the parking lot and hit it with my car. At least then, the guy who handles my insurance calls would have to hire a new employee to handle robot-on-car claims.

[starskq]

PROTECTIVE BF / L.Y

Pairing ◊ reader x yechan

Genre ◊ established relationship, fluff

Warnings ◊ none (tell me if you see one!)

Word count ◊ 1k

Summary ◊ Yechan hated when someone disrespected you.

You and Yechan had been dating for a few weeks now, and despite the short time, your relationship had blossomed beautifully. Yechan, with his playful demeanor and teasing nature, always found ways to make you smile. He had a knack for turning even the dullest moments into bursts of laughter, and you loved every bit of it. Your chemistry was undeniable, and anyone could see the affection you had for each other.

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, and the two of you decided to visit the local park. It was a popular spot, always bustling with people, and today was no different. Walking hand in hand, you shared jokes and stole kisses, your happiness evident to everyone around you.

As you strolled through the park, Yechan suddenly had an idea. "How about we grab some milkshakes from that diner down the street? I’m craving something sweet," he suggested with a grin.

"Sounds perfect," you replied, feeling a surge of excitement. The diner was one of your favorite spots, a charming place with a retro vibe and the best milkshakes in town.

Arriving at the diner, you slid into a cozy booth by the window. The waitress, recognizing you both as regulars, greeted you warmly and took your order. Yechan, as usual, couldn't resist teasing you while you waited.

"You know, I bet I can drink my milkshake faster than you," he challenged, a playful glint in his eyes.

You laughed, shaking your head. "You always say that, and you always lose."

Yechan leaned closer, his breath tickling your ear. "Maybe I just like watching you win."

Before you could respond, your blissful moment was interrupted when a group of guys walked by your booth. One of them, a tall, rough-looking guy, noticed you and decided to make a comment.

"Hey, pretty lady! Why don't you ditch the kid and hang out with a real man?" he sneered, his tone dripping with arrogance.

Your smile faded instantly, replaced by discomfort. You tried to brush it off, but before you could say anything, you felt Yechan's grip on your hand tighten. His playful demeanor vanished, replaced by a cold, steely gaze. He stepped forward, positioning himself protectively between you and the guy.

"Excuse me?" Yechan's voice was calm, but there was an underlying menace that sent chills down your spine.

The guy, oblivious to the warning in Yechan's tone, laughed mockingly. "You heard me. Why don't you let her decide who she wants to be with?"

You tugged at Yechan's arm, trying to pull him back. "Yechan, it's not worth it. Just leave it alone."

But Yechan didn't budge. His eyes were locked on the guy, and there was a dangerous glint in them. He chuckled; however, it was nothing like his usual playful chuckle; he was pissed off. "I think you owe her an apology," he said, his voice colder than you had ever heard. He arched an eyebrow and buried his hands in his pocket.

The guy's bravado faltered slightly, but he tried to maintain his tough exterior. "Or what? What are you going to do about it?"

Yechan took a step closer, his expression unchanging. "You don't want to find out. Apologize. Now."

The surrounding noise of the diner seemed to fade as a tense silence fell over the group. The guy's friends, sensing the shift in Yechan's demeanor, began to back away, leaving their friend to face the wrath of an angry boyfriend alone.

For a moment, the guy hesitated, but the intensity of Yechan's stare broke through his bravado. He looked away, muttering an insincere, "Sorry."

Yechan didn't move. "Louder. And mean it."

The guy's face reddened with embarrassment and anger, but he complied. "I'm sorry," he said, louder this time, though it was clear he didn't want to.

Yechan's gaze didn't waver. "Good. Now, get lost."

The guy mumbled something under his breath and quickly walked away, his friends following closely behind. Once they were out of sight, the tension in Yechan's posture eased, and he turned back to you, his eyes softening immediately.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice gentle once more.

You nodded, still a bit shaken by the sudden confrontation. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you."

Yechan smiled, the teasing glint returning to his eyes. "Anything for you, my love. But you know, you didn't have to stop me. I was just getting started."

You laughed, the tension melting away. "I know. But I prefer the cute and teasing Yechan. The menacing one is a bit scary."

Yechan chuckled, pulling you into a warm embrace. "I'll keep that in mind. But just so you know, I'll always defend you. No one disrespects my girl."

You hugged him tightly, feeling safe and loved. "I know. And I love you for it."

The waitress returned with your milkshakes, and you thanked her before taking a sip. The sweet, creamy flavor was exactly what you needed to shake off the unpleasant encounter. Yechan continued to make you laugh with his silly antics, and soon enough, you were both back to your usual playful banter.

As you enjoyed your milkshakes, Yechan leaned across the table, a serious look in his eyes. "Y/n, I mean it. I'll always be there for you. No one has the right to treat you badly."

You felt a lump in your throat at his sincerity. "I know, Yechan. And I appreciate it more than you know."

He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. "Good. Now, let's enjoy our milkshakes. I think we both deserve a treat after today."

Hand in hand, you left the diner, feeling more connected than ever. As you walked back to the park, you couldn't help but feel grateful for Yechan's unwavering support and love. You knew that no matter what happened, everything would be just fine as long as you had each other.

[admiringlove]

part one.

[19:12] . . .

suna thinks he's lost his mind. or maybe, you've taken all his senses with you when you left that night. maybe he's slowly going crazy—sort of like the main character of that one show you love to watch. the schizophrenic lady slowly losing her senses but not understanding what's going on.

perhaps calling himself crazy would be an overstatement. but you had him confused and dazed, nonetheless.

he thinks he's done something wrong. but he doesn't know what it is. why else would you leave in the middle of the fucking night after the things you two had done together? he's sitting in the living room, one hand in his hair and phone in the other. he's texting osamu, telling him about your amorous endeavors from that night. it had been roughly two weeks since then. and if he was correct(and not borderline insane), you hated his guts.

he wasn't sure why, though. had he not performed well? when the two of you had done "it", did he not please you? what was the issue here? you didn't sound like you hated it, in fact, you sounded quite the opposite throughout.

his phone rings. it's osamu.

"hey-"

"you did what with [y/n]?!" suna has to move the phone away from his ears for that one. his eyebrows knot as he puts the call on speaker, not understanding why osamu of all people is having such an outburst. it's usually atsumu who's the annoying one with no sense of rationality.

"we um," rintarō's face flushes red. he even hides his face with his palms, even though his grey-haired best friend can't see him, "we had sex."

"oh my fuckin' god," the younger miya twin throws more profanities on the phone, but rintarō chooses to tune them out. but then osamu continues, "do ya even know what ya've done? are ya stupid? do ya have no common-fucking-sense? sunarin, for fuck's sake, how can ya be less emotionally intelligent than a fuckin' celery?"

"stop swearing at me, you jackass!" the middle-blocker picks up his phone, almost yelling into it. he then narrows his eyes, lips pursed as he asks, "what exactly did i do wrong?"

"ya do fuckin' realize," suna assumes what osamu's doing is taking a bite out of an apple between his sentences, "ya had a girlfriend a month ago. a pretty fuckin' serious one, at that."

"oh," suna's train of thought stops. oh, shit. fuck, fuck, fuck. what the hell had he done? oh my god.

"yeah, 'oh'. what the bloody hell were ya thinking?" osamu swears again. but this time, rintarō thinks he might've deserved it. all of it. you ignoring him, osamu swearing at him, that nagging feeling at the back of his throat. and that pang in his chest when you left with your things at four o'clock in the fucking morning.

"ya do realize, [y/n] prolly feels more like shit than you do. they haven't spoken to me or 'tsumu after that night. i thought they dropped off the face of the earth until akaashi-san said they were havin' some kinda crisis so they were busy. turns out [y/n] hasn't been showin' up for lectures either," osamu drones on for a few minutes. then it strikes suna. he hadn't even bothered to give you an explanation about why he broke up with his girlfriend.

or actually, she broke up with him. because of you. his mind wavers at the memories of that night where she called him to the local diner to tell him off. she even told everyone it was a mutual break-up and that it didn't work out. he was just glad she fell out of love with him before he accidentally broke her heart. she had every right to do what she did. he was a total, complete twat who didn't know what he was doing. he had hurt so many people, because in actuality, he was just as emotionally stupid as atsumu.

to be honest, even atsumu isn't this stupid. suna has to give that guy some credit.

"what do you even feel about [y/n], sunarin? do ya like them? or didja use them 'cause you were bored 'n wanted ta get yer dick wet?" the accusation makes the middle-blocker wince.

"jesus christ, give me some credit, dude. of course i like them. you know, i never told any of you this, but michi broke up with me because of [y/n]."

"wait, hold on, what? what the fuck?"

"yeah, um," suna hates admitting that he's wrong. gosh, he has to, though. he's done enough. he doesn't want to hurt you any longer, "apparently, i was in love with [y/n] all along and didn't know it."

"oh my god," osamu literally gives up. rintarō can hear his friend facepalm through the phone, "yer such a screwed up person, man. didja even bother telling them this?"

"about that-"

"ya didn't tell 'em. wow. what else could i expect from someone with the emotional range of a fuckin' goldfish? just cut the damn call, already. i got shit to do. and go tell [y/n] all of this or i'll break yer legs the next time i see ya." beep, beep, beep.

he actually ended the call himself. huh, suna thinks to himself. but then he tosses his phone into the pocket of his sweats, pulls on a hoodie, and leaves his apartment.

he's not coming back without making it up to you. no fucking way. all the while that he's driving to your place, he curses at himself for being such a complete and utter dunce. and when he finally stands outside your door, his hands are sweaty and shaking. he's never even been this nervous for a match.

he knocks thrice. dum, dum, dum. then twice, dum, dum. then once, dum.

this was how you guys had communicated in high school. when something went terribly wrong and you needed each other's company. three, two, one. slowly. this was how he'd knocked on the door of the broom closet after school when you were inside having a panic attack. it was how you'd knocked on his bedroom door after they'd lost the match to karasuno in second year.

"go away, rin," you croaked from the inside, "i don't wanna see you."

"'course you don't. i'm an asshole," he says, "but i know where the spare key is and i'll trespass on you if you don't open this door right now."

the door opens a mere second later. you stand there in an oversized tee and shorts, hair a complete mess and eyes glassy. your under-eyes had swollen up too. this was all... because of him?

"the fuck do you want now? more sex?" you ask crudely. he almost scoffs, but he's clearly in the wrong here. you were his best friend. you had the right to abuse him like this because he'd used you. hell, you should be saying more than things like this.

"i'm sorry," he tries to hold your hand, but you move away from him. he feels his heart crack and his throat close up, but he continues, "do you know why michi and i broke up?"

"oh god, " you scoff, "if this is why you're here. please leave."

"listen to me," he holds your shoulders. you visibly look agitated and angry. you have every right to, of course. but you have to hear this. he has to say this. he goes on, "michi left me. i didn't leave her but she left me. don't you want to know why?"

"let me guess, she got fed up with your piece-of-shit attitude?" you walk away, to the kitchen as you turn on the coffee-maker. he chases after you, grabbing you by your shoulders again. you almost push him off.

"because i love you, goddamnit!" he shakes you lightly, "do you understand? she wasn't you. she understood that from the very beginning! that's she why left me."

"oh," you blink slowly, drinking it in, "oh."

"'oh'? that's all you have to say?"

"oh please, rintarō," you roll your eyes, "i've been in love with you since freshman year of high-school and you didn't fucking notice. you are genuinely the most stupid person i have ever met. you know, atsumu knew from the very beginning. he's an idiot, sure, but he's actually really smart when he wants to. osamu knows too- why are you looking at me like i'm a terrorist or something?"

oh. what the heck?

"you were in love with me for five years and didn't even bother saying anything? even the fucking twins know? you do realize, this whole thing could've been avoided if you had just told me you liked me before i said okay to that date with michi a few months ago."

"hey, you don't get to come here and tell me i've done something wrong when you realized you were in love with me because michi, of all people, told you. you didn't have the balls to do that part on your own? instead, you come and sleep with me-"

"i thought that made it very clear that i liked you, come on-"

"absolutely not."

"not even a little bit?"

"no."

"oh come on," he nudges as you pour yourself coffee, "maybe a little?"

you smile. he mentally lets out a huge sigh.

"fuck you, yeah, maybe a little," you mutter. he wants to punch the air and kick it and jump around as if he's five-years-old again. because what the hell? he bickered with you and that's all it took to make you smile. holy shit, he thinks.

"go on a date with me," he slides his arms around your waist in the kitchen. you chuckle, holding back a laugh, "no."

"come on, please?" he whines into your ear, placing a chaste kiss on your shoulder, "just five minutes of your time next weekend. i promise it'll be worth it."

"five minutes?" you look back, an eyebrow raised, "you sure? i'll put a timer on my phone and everything."

"shut up," he tells you. then, you grin, "make me."

notes: then they kiss, kiss, fell in love.

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[goodluckclove]

Clove's First Fan-fiction in 17 years (It's Dilbert Smut)

Right before the start of this year, my good friend @metautske claimed she could write erotic fanfiction for any canon. Maybe she didn't claim that exactly, I may have sort of cornered her into that claim. Uh, but I challenged her to write erotica for the Sunday comic Dilbert, and said that if she did I would do the same.

Um, she did. She also got a few other people to do it. They're all published on Ao3 and I. Yeah. She was right about that thing I may have forced her to say she can do.

I aimed tonight to finish the erotic fanfic I started about Dilbert, which I have not finished and will never finish. I got distracted. I started looking into The Hulk while I was eating dinner tonight and that guy's deal is crazy and I just gotta know more.

I can't post what I did so far to Ao3 because I decided to do that I would either need to be an unironic member of the Dilbert fandom, or at least capable of writing Very Good Erotica, and I fail on both accounts.

This Dilbert erotica has like a light R-Rating and that's entirely because of the amount of swearing in one part when Dilbert is thinking about how much he hates his dog. I think you could probably see where I started to amp up into something that could've maybe led to smut before immediately getting distracted by - just strange nonsense.

It's your problem now. I am open to critique but only if it is rave reviews or admissions that this somehow awakened something in you.

“The Horny Presentation”

After coming home and heating up a mediocre dinner of Chinese take-out leftovers, Dilbert was getting ready to go to bed with his terrible dog when he heard the chime from his phone. A new email from The Boss. The only thing Dilbert wanted to do at that point in the night was close his eyes and hope cardiac arrest would free him from his chains of mortality, but once again he worked his own self-interest and opened the message.

Don’t forget, Dilbert, the email read. You have the sex presentation tomorrow.

Dilbert’s heart sank. The sex presentation, how could he forget? He was assigned to the role of project manager for the sex presentation at the start of last quarter, but since then the only thing he managed to do was get banned from another Jersey Mike’s location. If he didn’t properly explain his team’s pitch about what the new type of sex could be, he would lose his job. And ever since the new mandates passed by President Capitalism in 2029 (it’s the near-future) any adult man in the United States not actively employed is immediately drafted into the front lines of the ongoing war between man and Ghouls.

More than anything Dilbert knew he didn’t want to shoot a Ghoul in the face with a big gun. Not because he was afraid of Ghouls. No, the truth he never would want to come to life is that Dilbert Menendez...loved Ghouls.

But he couldn’t think about that now. He scrambled out of bed and dragged his limp, fleshy self to the desk in the corner of his bedroom. Pushing aside his worn copy of The Anarchist’s Cookbook and several annotated blueprints of local government buildings, he made some space to open his Chromebook and look over his outlines.

He sank his bare butt into his Homall Gaming Chair, Office Chair High Back Computer Chair Leather Desk Chair Racing Executive Ergonomic Adjustable Swivel Task Chair with Headrest and Lumbar Support (White), pressing his fingertips to his temples and letting out a meek groan. Dilbert’s eyes drifted across the room, eventually settling on his William, his terrible, shithole dog that maybe also wore glasses.

“Do you have any ideas, Dogbert?” Dilbert asked meekly.

William shrugged. “Have you considered the taint?”

“I can’t. We don’t have the budget.”

William nodded vaguely. Already, as usual, Dilbert’s stupid fucking asshole dog that sucks wasn’t paying attention to him.

He watched William as he grabbed his vintage bomber jacket from the chair by the door and slipped it on. “I don’t know, then,” he pulled up the zipper and adjusted the sheep’s wool collar. “You’ll figure it out. I’m not sure what your job is exactly – but whatever industry you’re in has managed to slip past layoffs and AI automation, so you’re probably fine.”

Dilbert’s bullshit dog took the keys to his 2018 Hyundai Elantra off the hook. He started to leave, but paused when he noticed the look of confusion from his owner.

“I’m hitting Applebees for Dollaritas with the gang,” William explained. “The one right by that food truck that makes those Cuban hamburgers? It’s Fritas and ‘Ritas Night - I told you this morning.”

“It’s the middle of the night, Dogbert.”

William frowned lightly. He pulled his Samsung Galaxy from the pocket of his distressed Chinos and turned it on to show Dilbert the time on the screen. 7:21PM it read.

“Yeah,” Dilbert said. “Exactly.”

The Dipshit Fuck sighed and said goodnight before leaving. One day Dilbert would find him dead and feel nothing. But for now – in the early hours of the morning when any sensible, God-fearing individual would be asleep – Dilbert had to scramble even more for the pleasure of his employer like the betamale wagecuck he was.

He worked for an agonizing 45 minutes before the exhaustion forced him to put on his ASMR playlist and finally get what little rest he could. The next morning Dilbert woke up, stared at his reflection in the dark of his mirror for the usual hour before preparing a simple breakfast of Two Hams and leaving just in time to catch the bus to work. While on his commute, attempting to relax to the soothing melodies of Food House’s self-titled album, he fumbled through his notes for the Sex Presentation.

The facts were right. The statistics were ironclad. If there was any weakness in his proposal it would be the lack of current peer analysis in the public at large. Dilbert removed one earbud and looked at the passengers of the bus around him. He settled on an elderly individual sitting in front of him and, after drawing an anticipatory breath, Dilbert leaned forward and tapped the senior citizen on the shoulder.

“Excuse me,” he asked. “Can I ask you something?”

The elderly bus rider turned in their seat and flashed him a wizened smile. “Sure thing, son,” they said. “What’s on your mind.”

“Well – I hope this isn’t forward, but would you say you’re currently sexually aroused?”

“I would,” the rider said.

Dilbert quirked a smile. “Perfect! And answering on a scale of one to ten – one being unlikely and ten being very likely – do you think the sex you’d like to be having would be improved by the addition of loot boxes?”

The old, wise passenger thought long and hard about that. The wrinkles on their aged face grew deeper with concentration. They reached up and toyed a hand through the material of their big flannel scarf, then raised it up further to pull down their snapback hat.

Finally, they answered. “Son,” they began, “What’s the drop rate for this sex loot box?”

[mihai-florescu]

Putting a message i sent earlier under a read more, it has some thoughts ive expressed before tho. ES, of course

My thoughts as an EichiP... i view ! and !! as different stories in the way they're approached tbh, what i fell in love with enstars for was the character driven storytelling of one event seen through different perspectives, where you see the antagonist in one perspective become a protagonist in another story and can empathize with the entire cast like this. I fell in love with eichi's story of second chances, getting what you want and regretting your actions in the process, redemption, desperation, overcoming fate and asserting one's self into the story, saving a school in a dying industry that saved your life by giving you a dream; i consider it an arc fulfilling to the reader at the end of ! era. But we still had to continue... and it's not like we didnt get inklings of eichi's dreams of idol utopia, the idol soldier idea goes back to main story 1, but !! loses the charm of the original series through expanding the worldbuilding so much and shifting to a plot driven story that opens 10 cans of worms instead of offering resolutions. There's not really room to breathe if the stakes just keep getting higher and higher...

As for the colonisation plotline, it's been here since the beginning of ES2. The SS arc makes it obvious, but i remember even before, the talks about ES taking over from local businesses, trying to be seen as the standard, it was always the direction ensemble square as an institution would take. But the "antagonist in one story, protagonist in another" approach doesnt work anymore with such subjects. The guys responsible for this are your coworkers you share dorms with. I read the stories but cant empathize anymore, so i've been feeling disconnected from eichi for a while. I see enstars with eichi at its core but i didnt care for his center event, i read it, didnt like the ending, and overall felt off. Eichi becoming the villain of ! to attone for the war kind of loses significance if a year later he is a cartoon villain idol colonialist you can't even sympathize with anymore because of the magnitude of events. However i do think !! has done good things for some characters pushing them further or developing them in a way ! didnt. But for others...

I also have my issues with sci fi elements becoming the norm, even taken metaphorically or as hyperboles, when one of the central themes i love about enstars is humanity. Then again, i am a war era fan that relied on manipulating human desires and perceptions, and the fact that there were no monsters or gods, just humans framed as such, playing on people's fears and beliefs, it's a bit jarring to me to have them introduce AIs forming from escaped comatose brains (im minimizing the switch climax rn, i didnt even hate it as a whole, just this resolution im unhappy with)

It also feels like we've lost some of the meta aspects of the writing i liked, a certain awareness of being characters in a story and there being an audience. But im still struggling to word my thoughts on this matter. I felt it present in main story 2, even if it annoyed me at parts in its obviousness ("good thing we're not protagonists, no one would want to read about us" youre right aira you are not interesting to me. And yet i'll read your story to try and empathize nevertheless. I have other thoughts on aira too, perhaps for another time). I wish we explored a bit more what it means to no longer be the central protagonist, from trickstar's perspective...and brought back the successors topic. But i havent read every ts story yet so i'd be foolish to complain before really making sure i've checked everything. To me ! ended satisfyingly with room left for elaborations and imagination, but i dont feel like !!'s ending is really ending anything at all. Not necessarily bad since it's not like the game is shutting down, but overwhelming worldbuilding wise while underwhelming character wise...

Let's see... im not sure how to end this. Just a bit of a stream of consciousness as a ! fan who still loves enstars despite my critiques. Mainly, well, no one's gonna take away the stories that already exist that i do love and impacted my life greatly. And i do think !! had some really good things too it brought, or at least stories i hold dear too. Change is scary and i don't think it's always for the best, but it's also fun to see where it goes next...