#i just had no appetite
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Finally back in a simming mood, feeling the ts3 vibes, aaaand the EA app doesn't recognise the expansions I have installed. -_- I waited until it absolutely forced me to switch because I could see this coming a mile away.
Turns out I must have uninstalled the expansions and I just can't remember doing that? Welp guess i'm reinstalling this bad boy, but on my SSD this time! I must have been doing a lepacy or something and had only the base game in. But the Sims 2 Ultimate Collection straight up claims to not be installed even though it is and I can play the game still.
#sims 3#ts3#i have some little things I had made already to share#i want to get reshade installed again#seeing everyone's pretty ts3 pics inspired me <3#feeling a bit more energetic recently as i stopped semi starving myself out of depression#i just had no appetite#and was accidentally not eating enough to support my external functions such as hair skin and having any energy whatsoever
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i say if you’re gonna have the mysterious entities speak in rhyme you might as well commit (EDIT: part 2!)
(posting an unprecedented Part 1 of At Least 3 bc i actually have the entire script and most of the storyboarding for this done already)
#yknow. got an idea. had a breakdown. bon appetit#this was the creative impulse i was referring to on sunday#my art#my poetry#secret life#secret life spoilers#slsmp#grian#geminitay#briefly#trafficblr#also#mostly bc i am proud of it and partly bc i want people to know it’s on purpose:#grian is not trying to rhyme at all in this part. he is being deliberately unhelpful#he lowkey tries to fuck it up on purpose in that second to last panel but the secret keepers just switch rhyme schemes#the one time he completes an end rhyme is because he lost his temper#anyway yeah this was motivated mostly by me wanting to see if i could do it
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#me on my laptop: looking good :) me on my phone: what in the piss yellow is this#it is still so different on my phone maybe its my settings - if its not tell me gently#so here we are again. same rules apply we're only here for the vibes of alex surging up etcetera#i just wanted to practice big gifs had a breakdown bon appetit#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#rwrb#firstprince#alex x henry#my edit
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#just testing something out because i read richard siken -> had a breakdown -> bon appetit#bucktommy edit#tevan edit#911 edit#trying not to be embarrassed of my attempts at... things lol#it is 4.30 am i'm going to pass out in bed now#nell post#nell edits#anyway if i have to suffer the projecting of richard siken onto the blorbos so do you ♡
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I know who I am when I'm alone I'm something else when I see you
#weyler#wyler#wednesdayedit#wednesday addams#tyler galpin#wednesday netflix#tyler x wednesday#mine#had a breakdown bon appetit#i don't know what this is but i am listening to hozier everyday so of course they'll get the hozier treatment#tv: wednesday#anyway @ CupOTeaHatter and @ melliesgrant if you see these tags just so you know i love 'Sink or Swim' and my first weyler graphic#is based on that fic
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Asena is great at leadership and team building and Gale would rather not have that turned against him.
#bg3 tav#bg3 gale#oc: asena#gale x tav#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3 spoilers#bg3 fanart#Gale didn’t realize in act 2 that he was trading one insatiable appetite that might kill him for another#I promise I’ll stop with the bits about asking Gale about group sex#I just had it sketched out already and wanted something quick to finish#I’ve been on vacation and got a dog so I haven’t gotten a chance to do anything nicer#anyways he just needs to teach her how to make a double or at least mage hand#or she’s gonna reclass as an astral monk just for the extra hands
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i can't believe you have to eat every single day like wdym i just did that yesterday???????????????????????
#not to mention you're supposed to do it multiple times a day#HOWWWWWWW#LITERALLY HOWWWWWWWWWWWWW#it's such a big chore#task#whatever#it's fucking ridiculous#and it's not like i don't want to eat#i love food#i just forget#aaaaaaand most of the time it's incredibly hard to even decide on what to eat .#and then there is ofc the fact that you have to MAKE the food#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we mustn't forget the good old Appetite Loss either#isn't living like so fun you guys#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#anyway where is papa toji i KNOWWWWW he can cook some good fucking meals#very simple meals but that's literally what i like okay#he just makes some ramen and it's thee best fucking ramen you'v ever had#mayor of loserville#tw eating issues#oh btw if anybody thinks that i should use some other tw's on this then let me know i never know which ones to add
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Little Halaema piece
#it fuggin wimdy#i started doing a complex background but gave up#started making it had a breakdown bon appetit typa shit#also yeah he's just flexing the bow without the arrow sue me#halaema is jsut so pretty#ugh my first ever dnd chara#he's so silly#digital art#illustration#art#oc art#oc art dump#dnd oc
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"Trans people can be heterosexual, but they can't be straight" is a stupid fucking take because not only does it misgender transhets, it's also just not the way language works.
The argument tends to be that "straight" refers to having a "normative" or "socially acceptable" sexuality, which heterosexuality tends to be seen as, but isn't in the case of transhet people.
It's true that "straight" has historically been used that way. For example, Transgender Warriors (1996) includes the line "The trans population is a reminder that not everyone who is heterosexual is straight!" (page 92). At this point, straight had a meaning that was distinct from heterosexual, with straight meaning "not queer" and heterosexual meaning "attracted to the opposite gender."
However, straight (in reference to sexuality) and heterosexual have both had a lot of different meanings over time, and it's pretty stupid to pick one at random and go yes, this is the true correct meaning.
The terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual" appear in a letter by Karl Maria Kertbeny in 1869. Homosexual refers to erotic acts between two men or two women, and heterosexual refers to erotic acts between women and men. But Kertbeny still considered heterosexuals to be degenerates, as they engaged in nonprocreative sexual acts. (The Invention of Heterosexuality, pg. 33)
In 1892, Dr. James G. Kiernan used the word "heterosexual" in a Chicago medical journal. In this case, heterosexual referred to people who felt "inclination to both sexes." The hetero- prefix didn't refer to being attracted to a different gender than one's own, but to being attracted to two different genders. (The Invention of Heterosexuality, pg. 21)
Then, in 1893, Richard von Krafft-Ebing published Psychopathia Sexualis, where he used the term "hetero-sexual" to refer to sexual desire or "sexual love" between men and women, and is used to mean a "normal" sexuality. (The Invention of Heterosexuality, pg. 22)
In 1901, a medical dictionary defined "heterosexuality" as "Abnormal or perverted appetite toward the opposite sex." (The American illustrated medical dictionary, pg. 300)
In 1923, Merriam Webster defined "heterosexuality" as "morbid sexual passion for one of the opposite sex." Then, in 1934, the definition was changed to "manifestation of sexual passion for one of the opposite sex." (Merriam Webster's New International Dictionary, pg. xcii; Webster's New International Dictionary Second Edition, pg. xcvi
For much of the early history of the term "heterosexual," it was used interchangeably with the term "normal-sexual." (Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality, pg. 14)
The use of "straight" in reference to sexual orientation was defined in the 1941 book Sex Variants "To go ‘straight’ is to cease homosexual practices and to indulge--usually to re-indulge--in heterosexuality." It didn't refer to people whose innate sexual orientation was to be attracted to a different gender than their own, it referred to "ex-gays," or gay people who had recloseted themselves. (Origin of Everything, around 2:56)
From there, "straight" evolved to mean non-queer (as we saw in the Transgender Warriors quote), and now it's pretty much synonymous with heterosexual, being attracted to a different gender/the other binary gender from your own.*
*this isn't a perfect definition ofc because no sexuality can be defined perfectly, but it's better than "opposite gender"
So, over time, straight has meant "ex-gay," recloseted gay, non-queer, and heterosexual (as we know it today), and heterosexual has meant degenerate attraction between women and men, bisexuality as we know it today, abnormal/perverted attraction to the opposite sex, normal sexuality, and finally, attraction to a different gender/other binary gender.
And with all those meanings, it's kind of ridiculous to insist transhets are heterosexual but not straight based on just one of the many ways each word has been used. I could just as easily say that transhets who identified as gay before transitioning are straight because straight has been used to mean "ex-gay," and cishets who have never identified as gay aren't straight. Or that cis people attracted exclusively to the opposite binary gender aren't heterosexual, because heterosexual has been used to mean attraction to two different genders.
All that aside, both "heterosexual" and "straight" came into use with cis as the assumed default, without making the distinction between gender identity and sexual orientation that we have today. Transhets have no obligation to adhere to the definitions of either of those terms that operate under the assumption that everyone is cis.
And again- saying that transhets aren't straight is misgendering us. That should be the only thing that matters, but since clearly it doesn't, maybe it'll matter that enforcing "normative (cis) sexuality" as a universal definition for straight is bullshit.
#i actually did have a lot of fun with this research#except for the part where i couldn't find an available copy of sex deviants so i had to just use the video as a source. that was annoying#but all of this stuff was really interesting and i learned a lot yippee#i think 'abnormal or perverted appetite towards the opposite gender' is how i'm gonna define my heterosexuality from now on#transhet#'straight: the surprisingly short history of heterosexuality' is actually really interesting btw#didn't read all of it but. i liked it and will probably try to read the rest at some point
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Jodie got stuck on babysitting duty <3
ref ☝️
#detective conan#detective boys#tantei dan#jodie starling#edogawa conan#haibara ai#ayumi yoshida#genta kojima#mitsuhiko tsuburaya#jodie's keeping them distracted#so they don't meddle in a case related to the yakuza that akai and conan decided to stick their paws in or something#idk I just wanted to draw something like that picture with jodie um yeah enjoy#ai had seen them struggle with that level for weeks and finds it amusing that jodie's beating it with ease#whatever bon appetit
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Everyone clap for me setting BOUNDARIES on my babysitting (said they have to be back by 10 so I can go sleep before driving tomorrow)
#i do love babysitting truly#it's good work that needs doing and the people i do it for are never frivolous#and all of them are good and dedicated parents and their kids are only normal amounts of difficult#that said. i have done um 4 babysittings for total about 15 awake kid hours in just over a week#my voice is shot and so is my patience#bones boy and then all the others are 3 and under#while i'm yapping in the tags i will say for posterity#that i didn't quite get everything done i wanted to today/this week#BUT i finished my chapter draft and all but one of the house/cleaning chores i wanted to#yesterday i spent all day at my small group leaders' first watching the kids and then hanging for dinner#and then book club that evening (they were like why don't you just stay? so i did)#today i returned my library books and got a turmeric latte on the way to babysitting#feel kinda crappy physically cause i haven't worked out consistently and had sugar too much this week#and the early dark is messing with my appetite so i'm trying to figure that out and be responsive#but! i am very excited to be going home tomorrow (first time since may!!) and see everybody and rest with them#it's not rest from everything hard but it is rest from being responsible for my own time and that sounds so lovely right now#i had the best time with the twins yesterday. they were yelling LEAVES and picking up pine needles#so i said it's Pine Needles#and they started going Pine Noodles! Pine Noodles!#they never watch screens and it shows. they're so good at thinking of stuff to do
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ok i have been thinking a lot about how sirius ended up with grimmauld place, and im going to rant about it under the cut
so, the most likely (imo) (with jkr kind of in mind) theory is that yes, sirius was disowned officially, but he still has the last name black. since all his cousins are married into other families, when regulus died the house went to sirius automatically as the "last black" despite his being disowned, since there were no others with the last name living. sirius being the og heir probably strengthened that.
the second theory, which is also quite possible, is that the inheritance was going to go to either bellatrix (eldest) or narcissa (eldest with an heir), but sirius (probably with help from dumbledore/moody/possibly bill) managed to override it sometime during GOF. if that's the case, though, it seems odd that the house was seemingly abandoned before the order/sirius moves in.
my favorite theory though is that sirius was never disinherited at all. maybe he was bumped down behind regulus, maybe not, but he wasn't taken out of the will entirely at any rate. and okay, here we're getting into like - conjecture and headcanon territory, so yknow, fair warning.
we know that sirius was a lot of things that a pureblood family would value in an heir - charismatic, confident, talented in magic, intelligent. regulus on the other hand - well, we dont know much about him in terms of his talent for magic, though it can be assumed he was reasonably intelligent since he figured out the horcrux thing, but we do know he was a lot more predisposed to following rather than leading. where sirius was confident in his own beliefs, ready to make his own path, forward-thinking, etc., regulus was happy to idealize and follow voldemort.
obviously, this is why sirius split from his family - their beliefs did not align. but despite that, siriuss personality lends itself a lot better to being the head of a great house. reguluss loyalty to voldemort could have been a good thing for the black house, sure, but if voldemort failed it would be ruinous, and throwing all of one's weight behind one leader, one plan, the way regulus seemed to be doing isn't really the mark of a great leader.
this is 100% conjecture, but id argue that the blacks were in decline, both in money and power. despite an enormous amount of pride in their house and generally giving off an old money vibe, the black vault is never referenced as particularly grand, and they only have one house, and a townhouse in a muggle area at that - grand, but nowhere near somewhere like malfoy manor or the other country mansions pureblood families of status seem to favor.
it makes a lot more sense for orion, from an objective point of view, to leave everything to sirius. regulus was unlikely to make their house into anything great, more interested in worshipping someone else, but sirius had real potential, and if the blacks fortune and power was dwindling, it makes more sense to put the future in the hands of someone more adaptable, who might be able to turn things around instead of being stuck on one path. blindly following someone else doesnt really lend itself to greatness, or potential.
here i think its also notable that siriuss parents were never death eaters. they agreed with voldemort, sure, but they never threw their weight behind him. that, i think, is the old money pride talking - they thought of blacks as being akin to royalty, and royalty does not let someone else take the reigns, tell them what to do, etc. even if voldemort had succeeded, leaving the inheritance to regulus would make their family successful only as long as they remained attached to voldemort, comfortably under his thumb. leaving everything to sirius would be a risk, but the potential payoff would leave the blacks at least with their pride intact, independent. which, yknow, maybe a bit insane, but again - old money pride.
i also think that in general sirius being a golden child who went astray when he went to hogwarts is a lot more interesting (and plausible) than him being the family scapegoat from the jump. hes the heir! and again, hes all the things a family like the blacks would look for in an heir! i dont think their family was ever particularly, like, healthy, but the narrative that sirius was abused and hated from a young age doesnt make all that much sense to me. and in ootp we see glimpses of sirius having a complicated relationship with his family, especially his mother, which hints more at a bond gone sour than outright hatred.
all this to say that sirius was a much better heir than regulus, politics aside, and i think orion and walburga may have seen that, or at least been unwilling to let their wayward perfect heir go completely, and left him on the will in some capacity.
#sirius black#this has definitely been said before but ive had like 4 shots of espresso and pounded this out so bon appetit#i just love perfect talented intelligent heir sirius#who turned out (ugh) LIBERAL so much
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Today had no spiders so you would assume that went better for me than yesterday but not quite. My computer antics today included playing a day and a half of a sim family and renovating a house to look like a therapy clinic. Boy did I have glitches. I'm talking TOOL not letting me toggle active object on some sims, only four students spawning at prom and a confident sim not being able to select a swim option as they were greyed out because said sim was too uncomfortable. Said sim didn't even have any negative moodlets. I removed the most recent script mod and it seemed to settle but that means bye bye to the cute blush when flirty.
Now onto non virtual life. I bet you didn't know that a very small proportion of people cannot produce proper antibodies for Chicken Pox meaning they'll get it more than once. I am people, I've had it five times, none as bad as the first time but still clearly Chicken Pox. This morning I seem to have once again developed, as I like to non affectionately call it, the plague. The lumps are coming up and it explains my loss of appetite the past few days.
Since this issue is rare there is not a lot of science around it. The length of time I have the virus varies, as does the severity, so I'm not too sure how much it'll affect me. This one time I got them all over my palms and therefore couldn't use my hands properly. SBL is queued through the month but Rotations and Growing with Glenn each only have one more post set up so there will likely be a gap. Just a heads up in case they stop suddenly it's not because I've fallen out of love with my characters. It's because being itchy is tiring.
#ramble ramble ramble#before bed thoughts#I have had appetite loss for a few days#now I know why#when I get the plague I need more sleep to#here's hoping it doesn't last a whole month#the fourth time I got it it did#yes medical professionals have confirmed the previous times were chicken pox#not anything else that causes blisters#so now I don't bother going to the GP about it#they can't do anything#just have to wait it out
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yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.
#personal#rant below#begining of the month docs said dad had less than a month. Hes still around but declining#been taking care of him and my mom#along with working full time#and my boyfriend doing his damndest to keep me busy when Im not helping with dad#which is great except Im so tired#but also I havent been able to sleep much#and I've lost my appetite which apparently is a grief thing I didn't know about#So I've managed to get all the physical grief symptoms and it is taking a fucking toll#so your girl is sleeping in tomorrow and spending the day doing my own little crafts and avoiding people as much as I can#a girl just wants some sleep and a fulfilling snack but all she is being given are slight naps and unappealing food. send help.#anyways after this experience Ive decided that I no longer give any fucks because you only live once so Im just gonna do what I want foreve#and actually live life instead of being constrained by societal standards#after all this is over of course. gotta take care of dad first#also I got to paint the door because he was sick of staring at the porch. so its a lake view now#woooo#yeah so thats my life update for you all#also I saw a girl for the first time in 9 years today who completely changed the tradgetory of my life and didn't know it. so that was fun.#exhausing but fun#also idgaf about spelling right now I am running on caffeine and pure will power atm
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I thought of this with a carnival in mind but feel free to interpret this any way you want. Looking at you, Radioapple shippers
#Hazbin Hotel#Lucifer Morningstar#Lucifer Magne#Alastor#Fanart#I love their dynamic so much#There are still things I'm not completely happy with but this took embarrassingly long and if I look at this any longer I'll go insane#So yeah. I thought the idea was funny#I hope nobody has thought of this yet. And if somebody has don't tell me bfjsjsjw#Yeah I'm still frothing at the mouth#The songs and characters have been bouncing around in my head ever since the show came out#Oh btw I changed their outfits just a teeny tiny bit#Namely the buttons and Lucifer's collar#Can you tell I had no idea what to do with the background#And that I have zero idea how to draw hands#Yeah those were not fun to draw. So yeah. Started making it had a breakdown bon appetite#My posts#My art#Swearing#Okay yeah click on the pic for not fucked up quality. Thanks Tumblr
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