#i just had a moment of self awareness as i was doing it and thought it was so funny
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
vxlentinescookies · 15 hours ago
Note
Ajax listen,,,,listen to me Ajax-
Self Aware AU, where the cookies come to the player's/reader's world. Pick whichever characters you wanna include, I just need to see this 🙏
Tumblr media
→ ❛Part of your world❜
Tumblr media
→ Characters ; Longan Dragon Cookie, Burning Spice Cookie, Shadow Milk Cookie, Timekeeper Cookie & Millennial Tree Cookie → Quote ; ❛❛If someone came to you and told you “One day you’ll have those who you love the most in the palm of your hand”, well… you never thought that’d become true, nor that it’d be a metaphor…❜❜ → Genre ; Headcanons/Drabble → A/N ; This took me a whole ass night to make and 2500+ words to finish, I hope you like it /lh
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Longan Dragon Cookie
“How quaint… to believe someone like you lives in such a… small place”
Having Longan Dragon in your home was… curious to say the least. Not something you expected, yet here you were, with a dragon looking at you as they squatted in your bedroom.
Longan would be hypercritical of the place you lived, noting things like “This looks cheap” or “Its far too small”
Despite that, Longan would be quite intrigued in your life, wanting to see how you worked or what you did, they’d follow you around when not sitting in your living room and meditating.
Nevertheless, they’re there for a reason, they’re with you for a reason, and they’ll make that reason known very, very soon.
It’d take Longan a few months, but eventually, they would come to sit by your side at the table, not sitting down on a chair but instead, sitting down by your side quite literally. They’d stare at you for long moments before finally leaning their head on your shoulder, the weight catching you off guard as you looked at them. 
“... I’ll make sure you live like you deserve one of these days” They’d say, and in that moment, you understood why there had been so many disappearances of delinquents and robbers nearby…
If you’re wondering what they’d do in your world, then…
One of the few favorite activities of Longan was to read, so much so, that you had to request books from the library more often than not, but with the way Longan was reading them… It had just been a few months, and yet this dragon had consumed almost all of your local library’s books.  So, when they finished reading most of your books, they’d chose to write them. And they’d write about what they saw, about everything they had seen around them, everything they had seen in this new world, and in some sense, it was intriguing to see how a dragon explored the new world they were in, the little things that werent intriguing to you were greatly important to them, in a way that got you even more intrigued by how they saw you.
“... You want to know how I see you?” They’d ask.
You knew fully well that you shouldnt expect much, after all, this was Longan Dragon we were talking about, they werent a kind dragon, they saw cookies as lesser beings, and humans now by extensions, but as you asked them that question, they’d only smile and pat your head softly.
“You’re the reason Im here… Of course I would think highly of you”
A genuine smile, it made your heart flutter as they spoke, a hand going to cup your chin in it.
“You’re interesting, perhaps, one of the most interesting things I’ve seen in this world.”
Besides writing, they’d follow you around and take note of everything you’d do… And by night, they’d curl by your side, taking most of the bed as they allow you to take rest in their chest, as they allow you to take rest in their breaths while their hands thread on your hair.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Burning Spice Cookie
“How intriguing…! Never would I have expected your home to be so… so… erm…”
Another one who seems to heavily judge your house, but also, another one who appears in your home kneeling because it is so small compared to him.
Either way, he gets eased into the ambient quite easily, his search for entertainment leading him to see through everything and all the world has to offer.
Until he… gets bored, again, because your world isnt as different from his (and in some sense, it is… actually… more boring than his old world…)
So, he moves to the next thing closest to him for entertainment!
“Little one, come here” 
He’d call forward to you once, looking at you with dark yet fiery eyes and an everlasting smile, though you knew this once it hid something, after all, despite him coming to your world for x or y reason, it involved you, it always involved you…
“Entertain me” Would be his words once you approached him, his smile becoming only more cryptic as you lifted an eyebrow at his voice. Entertain, him? In what sense or way would you be able to entertain someone akin to a god? 
Seeming to sense your doubt, Burning Spice would only come and hold you from your shirt, lifting you up before staring at you and then…
“Hahahah, you should’ve looked at your face, you really are an interesting one!”
If you’re wondering what he’d do in your world, then…
Besides seeking something for entertainment, Burning spice is in some sense able to somewhat pass through the crowd, and by that I mean he can somewhat pass as just a very tall human. Nonetheless, between choosing to hit the gym and sending you pictures, he’ll also follow you around, finding even the most monotonous tasks fairly entertaining if it has you in it. Its a weird combo, being outside with a dude in a hoodie and sweat pants following you around while doing groceries, or being in the metro and getting a fairly nice picture of him flexing for you. Burning spice is a menace…
“Aye, welcome home! I took care of some pesky people while you were gone… It was fun hearing their screams…”
…in far more ways than one.
Either way, you two also share a bed, its not like you have a choice with how clingy he can become when sleeping, pulling you in his arms in a heated hug (in the sense that he literally irradiates heat) while snoring loudly, you’ve gotten complaints from neighbors (if you live in an apartment), but somehow… they’ve… they’ve quieted down recently… However, when you ask Burning Spice, he just laughs it off.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Shadow Milk Cookie
“Woowee, what do we have here, sweetheart?”
Not as judgemental of your home, no, for once someone isnt as focused on where you live but…
He is focused on you, looking at you up and down, before hitting his head on the roof of your room, ouch!
He spends most of the days following you around though, using his magic to stay hidden from most people, so much that people may find you crazy for seeing you talk to… nothing!
Either way, much like the others, he’s there for a reason…
“Why Im here?”
You asked Shadow Milk once, after a good few months, what the jester had come to do in your own home. In fact, it perplexed you so much that when you asked him, the feeling seemed to be shared. It was… intriguing to say the least, but he’d only smile before clasping his hands together and saying in a song-esque tune.
“Becuase you’re sooooooooooo interesting, darlin! Just look at you, how could I NOT come here with you?”
Truth to be told, he saw you as who you really were, in some sense he saw you as someone who didnt fall for lies easily, he saw you as someone who saw beyond that and you were… interesting. You were a shot in the dark, and he just had, to have you near.
“You’re so silly, darlin, sososososo silly” He’d add in, patting your head softly as you only smiled and blushed slightly, even while knowing his smile and gaze hid a million of thoughts, and a million of even more ideas.
If you’re wondering what he’d do in your world, then…
When not reading around in your home, or following you to the library to read some books, he’d be looking over your shoulder, reading every single note, watching every single thing you do, it makes him curious, how someone so quaint has him wrapped around your finger. And yet, he cant help but smile at the idea of being just like that, wrapped around your finger in a sweet loving embrace.
He’d be the most romantic of the bunch, the one that makes it the most prominent that he’s there with you because he likes you, he dosent even hide it fully despite his jester-esque persona, he just cant hide it! So, when you ask him about what he was doing one day in the balcony of your apartment, he’d only turn and smile softly.
“Why, I'm recreating one of your world’s theatre plays!” He’d say, and you make a mental note to go to the theatre more often… “And you’ve come just in time, silly (y/n)! I need someone to play dearest Juliet!”
You add that it is a tragic love story, and he only brushes it off, adding in that “actors are actors, sweetheart, now come in and act!” so you do, and you have a fun time doing a monologue to a bunch of people who stay and watch, before claps fill the air.
And when time comes to bed, he’ll be the first to curl up in your bed, curl like a cat who welcomes you into his arms so sweetly, you feel the scent of milk, lactonic as it is, and for once you feel safe.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Timekeeper Cookie
“Well, look what we have here!”
To find Timekeeper in your home means to have done something either right or wrong. In your case, its right.
They’re very much curious about everything from the things you do on a daily basis to your home and how electronics work.
Still, and much like some others in this list, they become quickly bored about it, choosing to focus on you as main form of entertainment
Still, you can expect certain shenanigans to ensue.
It was late at night when it happened, just as you were playing when a portal opened and dragged you inside of it. You were scared shitless that much is true but, when you saw the person who dragged you in, you simply could sigh in slight annoyance.
“What? Cant I drag my favorite person in for some fun?” They’d say with that ever present smile, Timekeeper chuckling as she smiled widely at you, before noticing… “Oh, right, it is night where you’re from, guess I took you out at the wrong time!”
You huffed and yawned, before sitting up and looking at your phone… Right, it didnt exactly work when in time rifts, but then again that raised the question, why did they bring you here to begin with? As if being presented with the question loud and clear, they’d clear her throat and speak yet again.
“I simply wanted to see you, nothing wrong with that now?” They’d say quite mischievously, picking you up and bringing you into her lap “Go on, lets- Hm?”
You’d fall asleep into her arms as soon as she picked you up, your calm quiet face being shown to her as you were held in her arms. Well, guess fun had to wait.
If you’re wondering what they’d do in your world, then…
Much like the others, they also enjoy reading, however, they focus on reading about engineering and mechanics, more so about the mechanics of your world to see if they’re any different from the ones of her world. To say there isnt much difference is but an understatement, there was a hefty amount of difference counting the technology from the TBD was far more advanced, but, even then, you’d be able to get the timekeeper intrigued by the nature of your world.
“Tell me more about your world, c’mon!” They’d ask one day, floating from a time rift as you cooked dinner. 
Unlike the others Timekeeper wasnt keen on staying in one place, still finding comfort in being inside time rifts most of the time, though they still visited you more often than not, more often than other places. Seeing them you’d ask her what she wanted to know, to which she’d hum before saying.
“Anything, I dont really find it entertaining seeing it myself—Explain your world to me yourself, doll!”
So when night comes after a long day chatting, it is you who clings to her softly, as she watches you sleep cozily by her side. She smiles and pats your head, because as much as she’d prefer to fade into a time rift, she knows she cant let you go so easily, no. Not when you finally showed her happiness.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“Interesting, this place is… quite interesting…”
Seeing someone as tall as Millennial Tree in your home is but a piece of the whole puzzle. You are dumbfounded but in some sense, seeing them kneel to greet you is almost laughable.
He’s big, very tall and a gentle giant overall, and it shows when he holds your hand and tells you that your world is interesting to him.
He’s just as curious as everyone else, looking at everything, looking at everyone, he’s curious about you, curious about your world, yet he knows it’d be dangerous to leave on his own.
So, you take him to the forest, planing on leaving him go but…
“I dont want to leave you alone…”
He’d speak with conviction, looking at you as your eyes widened and your face dropped. Just what you feared would happen. He’d hold your hands together, looking at you with some concern before smiling softly, kissing both of your palms.
“I came here for a reason, that much I know, and I know that reason is within you… Allow me to stay by your side, and I’ll do everything in my power to make it worth it.”
You have no power in you to say no, to turn down his offer after his gentle and sweet words, that day you realized that perhaps he did come to your world for a reason, a world so clad in evil and pain…
If you’re wondering what he’d do in your world, then…
When not travelling nor reading, he’s at home with you, cooking or revisiting each place he has gone to to help. He’s become… a sort of Messiah, you cant help it, become public enemy no.1 to some, and a savior to others, it truly depended on who you were asking. Your gaze would follow his as he trailed on a book you both were reading before he’d lean and kiss your forehead, things were… easy, happy with him there… You felt much happier.
“Is something the matter, sapling?” He’d ask, his gentleness carrying over to his voice as he hummed at your words saying it was nothing, but he knew better, still, he wouldnt push. “Are you perhaps tired?”
You pouted slightly before nodding, yes, you were quite tired, but you didnt want to admit to it. Still, he’d nod before moving the book to the side and lifting you into his arms. He’d carry you to your shared bedroom, careful on his way there before setting you on the bed with him, cozily, softly, carrying you to him as he pressed his lips on your forehead and your body to his.
“Sleep well, sunshine” He’d say, brushing hairs off your face before speaking again “Thank you for accepting me into your world…”
Honestly, how could you not at this point? With that thought in your head… You fell asleep.
Tumblr media
188 notes · View notes
vampiriito · 3 days ago
Text
Summer was my first love (JJ Maybank x shy! kook! reader) part 1
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
A/N: Hi loves! this is my first fic and i just wanna let you know that I'm open to any criticism, but i want you to be able to nice at the same time. This is inspired by my favorite author on here the lovely @featherandferns, her fic daylight was so good and i read all the parts in less than 2 hours. With that being said the plot is completely different but i recommend checking out her works too because she's very talented! this might be a bit long, i wanted to write a slow-burn. Let me know if i managed to do that (┬┬﹏┬┬)
Summary: After getting locked into a closet with a kook girl, JJ Maybank comes to the realization that his animosity towards the spoilt people living on Figure Eight doesn't have to apply to every single one of them.
Tumblr media
"Fuck! Seriously?" JJ Maybank's blue eyes meet yours through the frame of your glasses as he sneers at the door which was now shut. Leaving you both stuck together in this small cramped closet. If you weren't panicked cause of the claustrophobic tendencies of your stupid brain, you definitely were now.
You were alone with your 3rd grade crush, and he had no idea, you were a kook, (which he hated,) and one hell of a wallflower person. You've been watching him from a far since you were 9, and it got a little weirder once you could walk around freely and just... take pictures with your camera as your hobby flourished. You were now, glancing shyly between the door and his face, 'he's probably feeling weird being stuck in here with a complete stranger.' you thought to your self, making sure to stick to your corner of the closet.
"What’s your name?" He demanded, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned against the wall, his eyes flicking over you, studying you. Of course, he would ask that right away, JJ could be direct and kind of an ass most days. And he felt like if he wasn't gonna ask, you weren't gonna speak up first.
Of course he didn't know your name, he wasn't bordering on creepy stalker most days like you were in your free time. Across these years you managed to gather a lot on JJ surprisingly, being quiet and so reserved got you very far, going almost invisible when you went out. It didn't help you were a shutterbug, always taking pictures and people watching, "Y/n.." you responded softly and weakly, adjusting your glasses.
He raised an eyebrow, studying your face for a moment. That name sounded familiar, he could swear he'd heard it before somewhere, the only question was where.
"You're a kook, huh? I should have known." He grumbles, running a hand through his messy dirty blonde hair. You looked so.... soft, and it somehow made him scoff. He hated your kind more often than not, and here he was, stuck in a closet with one.
You nodded, frowning gently. You were aware of his hate and animosity towards the people living on figure 8, but you weren't exactly the picture perfect image of a snarky preppy kook girl. Or so you liked to think anyway.. He looked even more beautiful up close, more defined than what you usually saw through your camera lenses when photographing him. 'Suddenly i feel like a creep being here..' you thought, playing with the hem of your baggy sweater.
His eyes flicked down to your hands as you fidgeted with your sweater, his lips curling up into a subtle smirk. 'How can someone be so shy?' he thought to himself, wondering why you were so nervous.
"You look like you've never talked to a human before." He comments, letting out a soft scoff, and you flinch gently, your eyes snapping up to meet his. He noticed this and his smirk grew a little wider, enjoying that he was able to fluster you.
That's the most JJ thing he could say to someone like you. "i.. well, i don't talk usually." you face palmed internally at the way your words came out. You had the chance to come off as something you weren't given he didn't know you, and you weren't doing a very good job at it. You could've faked being confident and charm him, yet here you were talking like you never had anything to eat in your life.
He lets out a soft scoff as he watches you stumble over your words. There was something he found so weird about you, you were so… different from everyone he encountered on a daily basis. You were shy, quiet, and awkward, not like the sarcastic and arrogant persona that most kooks had. But, he tried to shake the thoughts away, he didn't need to be thinking about you this way, of all people.
"I can tell.." he responds, his accent ringing through slightly as his smirk turned into a slight frown.
There was an awkward silence that fell over the two of you in the cramped closet, the music that played throughout the party muffled by the thick walls. JJ glanced around for a moment, almost bored before his gaze settled back on you. His blue eyes studying you intently, trying to figure you out. The frown on his face remained, 'Why are you so shy?' he thought to himself, biting his tongue before he continued.
"What are you even doing here anyway? You don't seem like the type to be at a party.."
'Got dragged against my will by my very loud and obnoxious best friend here...' you thought to your self, the thought amusing you but of course not letting that mirror on your expression, "I'm sorry?" 'what? dumbass..' you scolded your self mentally. The question was loud and clear.
He raised an eyebrow as he looked you up and down for a moment, wondering if you always spoke in a quiet and awkward way, or if it was just because you were in a small, dark, and very cramped closet with a stranger.
"You heard me. I doubt you'd normally come to a party like this." He repeated, his frown returning to a small smirk as he pushed off the wall to take a hesitant step towards you.
Again, such a JJ thing to say. Your stomach jumped as he took a small step towards you, suppressing the urge to shift awkwardly. All you needed now was to look more awkward than you already were, you acted and sounded like a pathetic dumbass, in front of your childhood crush nonetheless. "i just ended up here.."
He took a few more steps until he stood a few feet away from you. He was towering over you, his 6’1 height compared to your, what he could only guess, 5.2 or 5.3 height. He had to admit, in some weird way, it was amusing being able to fluster you so easily. That was until he noticed there was nowhere really for you to go. The walls of the small closet caged you in, he was blocking your way out of the closet, unless you tried to push him out of the way.
He was quiet for a moment, just studying you as a small smirk returned to his face.
"There's nowhere for you to go.." he teased, taking another step closer, closing the gap between the two of you even more. He noticed you shiver gently and took note of it.
"Are you usually this weird with strangers?" you found yourself asking, surprising even yourself after the words left your mouth. 'caging me in like this wouldn't create a good first impression... he's just lucky I've been in love with him since i was 9.' you thought.
This time it was his turn to be surprised. He was definitely not expecting you to say something so blunt, you were full of surprises. He chuckled softly, taking another small step forward, effectively caging you against the wall. His smirk grew into a wide smile, his eyes studying you intently as he spoke.
"Only when I get stuck in a small crowded closet with them." He was now only a few inches away from you, his eyes studying your face. He was so close, you could take in some of his scent, which somehow matched perfectly with his personality. A mix of weed and the smell of the ocean and sunscreen. You could also now see little details in his face, like his freckled cheeks, and his jawline that looked hard enough to cut glass.
Being able to smell him was a pleasant feeling as weird as that sounded, his scent matching with the way he was completely. The small freckles scattered over his soft skin made you want to be able to take mental photographs. He looked breathtaking up close, even in the dim light of the closet. Like he was some kind of modern day demigod or some bullshit. You hummed gently, turning your body towards the door to try the door weakly, your hand wrapping around the door handle and shaking it with little to no force to actually get it open.
He chuckled at the sad attempt you made of trying to open the door, "It ain't going to open, believe me, I've already tried that." He said, his voice almost a murmur as he leaned against one of the walls of the closet, watching you struggle with the door. His eyes slowly traveled down from your face, down to your hips and to your beat up vans. Strange, he thought. He'd expect someone of your social status to have more expensive looking threads and shoes. Not like a librarian on vacation.
You side glanced up at him, adjusting your glasses. You felt absolutely wrecked, nerves and claustrophobia tugging at your sensitive stomach, it didn't help this closet was dimly lit and smelled like mold. 'What a great setting to interact in for the first time..' you thought bitterly, leaning your back against the wall opposite him.
He kept his eyes on your hips, letting his gaze rake over your body. He felt a weird and small pang of sympathy for you. You looked so small against the wall, and you looked like you were ready to jump out of your skin any moment now. It was different than when he usually had the unfortunate chance of speaking with a kook kid.
"Are you scared of small spaces or somethin' ?" He asked, his voice softer than usual as he spoke.
You nodded mutely in response, your expression probably resembling that of a deer in front of a truck. Sometimes you forgot JJ's voice carried a southern drawl to it, given he never spoke to you. You would hear him when he'd pass you in the school halls while talking to his friends animatedly or when he'd say something snarky in class to the teacher, his voice never directed towards you.
When you nodded, he mentally groaned. That was his luck. He ended up being stuck in here with a kook that was also terrified of small spaces. He let out a sigh, he would have to try and find a way to calm you down, since he was now stuck in this closet with you until whenever someone decided to let them out.
"How in the hell did you even manage to get yourself into a situation like this..?" He questioned, running a hand through his messy blonde hair.
You were asking yourself that question too, but i guess being so easy to push around wasn't really helping your case here. Truth was you were just a collateral victim of a prank which was meant for JJ, getting pushed into the small closet by mistake or just to make it worse for him by locking him up with a complete stranger.
You shook your head shrugging, chewing on your bottom lip nervously. You knew you had to say something, actual words at one point but your mind came up blank. Or your mouth wasn't able to say them out loud.
He let out another soft scoff, knowing deep down this was no accident. Some of his pogue buddies probably set this up just to screw around with him. Although, you didn't seem to know that. You looked genuinely clueless.
"My friends probably did this on purpose..."
He muttered, leaning against the opposite wall to you. He wasn't happy about this situation, especially not being locked in here with a girl for what could be hours. Which he would usually be elated about. But seeing you barely talked or moved, seemingly scared of loud sounds and sudden movements like a small animal, he was aware you weren't gonna makeout any time soon.
He looked you over again, his eyes roaming over your small and fidgety figure. In some weird way, he kind of felt bad for you. You looked so nervous and uncomfortable being stuffed in this dumb closet, and you looked like you didn't belong at this party in the first place.
"What were you even doing here anyway?... this ain't exactly a place a shy girl like you would go on your own free will..." he echoed the question once again, the curiosity and desire to fill the silence stronger than the fact that you were strangers.
"That's because it wasn't my own free will.." you spoke up in minutes of being almost completely silent, your voice small and weak.
He was both surprised and not surprised at your answer. He was surprised that you answered so quickly, but he could have guessed this wasn't your idea.
"Let me guess... one of your loud and obnoxious friends dragged you out here to try and get you to 'have fun'?"
Bingo! You nodded silently again, your eyes darting around his face taking in every detail, hopefully being able to recall every single one of them to draw or paint later.
He grumbled something under his breath. He knew it. From his experience, kooks were always so loud and overbearing. It was what he hated most about them, and yet, you didn't seem like that kind of girl at all... you were quiet and soft spoken, something he hadn't seen in a kook girl since... well, never really. "Figures.. can you not say no to them or somethin’ ?"
You stared at him silently, blinking as you raked your brain for what to say, your eyes narrowed just a hint. You were aware he usually spoke a lot but not this much. Or you were too quiet. You were also way too nervous to speak or think properly, having your lifetime crush speaking to you, like actually.
He was watching you intently, taking note of the expressions that flashed on your face as you tried to come up with an answer. You were obviously nervous, he didn't need to be a mind reader to know that. And there was something else about you... something he couldn't place his finger on. It was weird.
"You look like you're gonna pass out or something..." He commented, watching you closely.
You shook your head 'no', reaching to try the door again. You suddenly didn't feel so lucky you got this rare chance to speak and admire JJ shamelessly given you were stuck in a closet together. You were anxious and feeling like he could see right through you, see all the weird tendencies you had and judge you for being so pathetically in love with him for so long.
He chuckled softly as you tried to open the door, again and again. It honestly reminded him of a small animal trapped in a cage, frantically looking for a way out. Something about the way you were acting amused him. "There ain't no point trying to open it again, trust me, it's stuck good..."
JJ could tell you were anxious, and it was easy to guess why. It was probably terrifying being stuck in a small, dark, cramped closet with him of all people. And judging by how quiet and shy you were, this was probably one of the hardest social interactions you ever had.
"Jesus... can you even speak a full sentence?" He piped up after another few seconds of silence, his smirk returning to his face as he watched you struggle against the door.
You looked to the side, a small frown making its way on your face at his question. 'Not when you're so close to me that i can smell the sea salt water in your hair.' you groaned internally, still silent. You kept your eyes locked with his in the almost dark closet, scolding yourself for not being able to handle social interactions like normal people.
JJ's smirk widened at your expression, you looked like a kicked puppy, it was almost cute. He stood up straight, lazily pushing himself off the wall and slowly making his way towards you. When he was a few steps away from you, he stopped, looking you up and down with a hint of mockery.
"You're a real quiet thing, ain't ya?"
With a few more confident steps, he was now standing just in front of you, leaning his shoulder against the wall. He looked down at you again, his smirk still present on his face. You could almost feel the heat radiating off his body, him being so close. His ocean like scent mixed with the weed smell, filling the closet and making it even harder to breathe than it already was in here.
"You afraid of me or somethin'? "
"No.." your voice rung out without missing a beat this time, a soft and gentle sound as you frowned to your self. You were probably one of the few people who wasn't afraid of JJ. Years of following him from a distance and watching him closely took away the fear factor. If anything he'd probably be afraid of you.
JJ let out a quiet scoff at your answer, an odd response. He had expected you to be as afraid of him given the way you were acting. You were clearly nervous being in a small, dark, and cramped space with a man, yet you weren't afraid of him or his presence.
"You're an odd one then.." He said, his eyes roaming over you again, taking in your small, timid figure.
He was a few inches away from you, towering over your small frame. Being this close to you, he could see more details in your face. How your eyes were framed with small dark eyelashes behind your glasses, how your skin was unnaturally smooth and soft looking, and how your lips looked almost velvety, almost as if they were made of silk. In addition to that, your scent filled his nose now, mixing with his own and the smell of the closet. You actually smelled very good... which definitely wasn't something weird to be thinking. JJ found himself lost in thought the more he looked at you. You looked so... tender and yet the way you were acting, so nervous and small, you looked like a spooked stray dog. It didn't add up in his head, you were probably the first kook girl he had ever met that acted this way, it was making him curious. Just as he opened his mouth to ask something, a loud banging noise echoed from the other side of the door, making you jump slightly, surprised by the sudden sound.
The whole silent staring contest you both had going on was interrupted by a loud sound from the other side of the closet door, almost startling you to death given you were so focused on how beautiful JJ's eyes looked while he studied you intently. You sighed, squeezing your eyes shut for a second, adjusting your glasses and grimacing to yourself.
The sudden sound made JJ roll his eyes, whoever was on the other side of the door was clearly trying to be annoying.
"Oh come on..."
he grumbled, annoyed already by the person who was trying to interrupt. Before he could say anything else, the banging continued once again, this time twice as loud as before, making him grumble another curse underneath his breath. He was beyond annoyed now, a small scowl forming on his face at the constant knocking. He turned around, staring at the small closet door, his hands on his hips as he waited for the knocking again. He was about to say something, but just then, the door was suddenly swung open, making him nearly jump out of his skin.
He let out a surprised noise as he stumbled forward, nearly collapsing to the ground, but he managed to catch himself just at the last moment by grabbing the nearest thing which happened to be the closet wall, next to your head. His heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest, he was breathing heavily, the unexpected event nearly giving him a heart attack. After a few moments he slowly looked up, turning his head to see who had opened the door.
To say he looked surprised would be an understatement. Standing in front of him was none other than one of his pogue buddies, John B, who was smiling and laughing like this was the most fun he had in forever as he looked down at JJ. JJ quickly managed to regain his composure, standing up straight before speaking up:
"Are you tryin' to give me a damn heart attack, John B?"
You were just as startled as JJ was, for a second time in less than 2 minutes nonetheless. Your gaze shifted from looking up at JJ's side profile to the boy standing in the door way of the closet. John B, JJ's best friend since forever, someone you also saw on a daily basis while doing your... usual checking up on JJ. John B also probably didn't know who you were, and you wouldn't be surprised even in the slightest.
John B looked between you and JJ, a smirk slowly forming on his face as his eyes landed on the proximity between the two of them. John B leaned against the door frame, his arms folded over his chest as he spoke up, a hint of mockery in his tone. "Seems like you got yourself into a situation, huh JJ?"
JJ's eyes narrowed at his best friends tone, he immediately knew what he was implying. He shot him a small glare before speaking up, a hint of annoyance in his voice
"Can it, John B... it ain't what it looks like."
John B chuckled at his response, he clearly didn't believe JJ given the awkward and somewhat embarrassing situation the two of you were in. "It sure looks like it though. Locked up in a closet together, all alone. You two got up to anything in here?"
Your eyes darted between the 2 best friends, adjusting your glasses as your gaze landed on John B, his teasing words making your face heat up. The implication of getting up to anything with JJ was enough to probably give 9 year old you a aneurysm, "Excuse me?" you spoke up, trying to sound irritated at his words although you sounded so weak and shy you regretted speaking instantly.
John B chuckled again at your response, clearly enjoying making you both uncomfortable. The way you spoke was so quiet and awkward, it was almost laughable. JJ continued to glare at him, trying to non-verbally tell his friend to shut his damn mouth, but it obviously wasn't working.
"Oh... I see, there's a voice under there, huh? You sound like a damn mouse, girl.. can you speak louder than a whisper?"
He continued to smirk at you, now mocking the softness of your voice. JJ grimaced at what John B had just told you, a pang of guilt suddenly shooting through his chest. He didn't like the way John B was talking to you, in fact, he was getting a little mad that he was being so rude.
"She ain't gotta speak louder. Leave her alone." JJ spoke up, glaring at his friend once again, finding himself defending this stranger.
You looked down, scowling to yourself at his question, now definitely not speaking another word for the rest of the conversation, knowing you'd just slip away once they were distracted. Your finger pushed the frame of your glasses up and down, your eyes fixed on your beat up sneakers. This was certainly one hell of a first impression.
John B held his hands up in mock surrender, clearly enjoying the fact that he was getting both you and JJ annoyed. "Relax man, I was just messing with the poor mouse."
He joked, his eyes still on you, now watching your fiddling. JJ just scowled at him again, silently debating punching his friend square in the nose. The fact that he was making fun of you was bothering him more than it should. He was used to his friend making stupid jokes and being a dick, but he couldn't stand the thought of him mocking you, especially since you were acting nothing but polite and shy.
Mouse? you could see the resemblance i guess, with the small one word answers which sounded like small squeaks from the anxiety. Still, John B was being kind of a dick at the moment which caused your frown to deepen as you debated just making a run for it and disappearing.
John B chuckled quietly, not taking his eyes off you as you fiddled with your glasses. He knew he was being a dick, but he was just enjoying it too much. He suddenly had an idea in his mind, a way to further piss off JJ. With a sly smirk on his face, he spoke again, this time, directed solely at you, ignoring JJ completely. "So, mouse, what's your name?"
'Seriously? neither of them know my name?' you groaned internally, looking up to lock eyes with John B nervously. In moments like these you wished you had at least a bit of semblance of a back bone, and not just clam up like a dumbass, "Y/n.." you answered simply, your expression twitching slightly from having to repeat your name once again. You wanted to roll your eyes in annoyance so badly.
There was something about the way you said your name that made JJ's heart stutter in a way it never had before. It sounded almost magical coming out of your small lips, it was so... mellow, and yet so beautiful. John B's smile widened at your answer, obviously not expecting to get an actual answer and a name at that.
"Huh... nice name. Suits you." He said, his eyes roaming over you again, studying your face to figure out if he knew you or not. He came up blank, probably due to being tipsy.
JJ continued to stay silent, watching the interaction between his best friend and you. He was feeling a weird mix of anger and curiosity as he watched. You looked so much more fragile and unthreatening than he had thought. You were like a small cat, a cute but easily spooked cat. Or maybe a mouse, he wasn't sure which.
You felt awkward suddenly, the 3 of you going silent save from the music coming from downstairs after John B's comment about your name. You looked between them momentarily before stepping forward shyly to signal John B to move out the way so you could escape this weird and sufficiently awkward situation at once.
John B chuckled again as you stepped forward, his eyes following your every move. But just as you were about to slip out of the closet, he suddenly reached a hand out, blocking your way.
"Where do you think you're going, mouse?"
JJ furrowed his eyebrows at his friend's behaviour, he knew exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to annoy both of you, as well as prevent you from getting away. JJ had had just about enough
"Okay, that's enough John B. Don't you think you've teased the poor girl enough?"
John B sighed dramatically, pouting at JJ's annoyed response. He took a small step back, opening up the doorway once again "You're no fun. I was just having a little fun. Don't take it so seriously, JJ."
As much you enjoyed being in JJ's presence you hated social interactions and you wanted to just find your best friend to tell her that this was a bad idea and you should just skate home. So you took a final glance at JJ, before stepping out of the small cramped closet when John B removed his arm which was blocking your way hesitantly. But stepping out wasn't any better cause you were met with the party, still in full throttle, the music making your head feel weird, weirder than being stuck in a moldy closet with your childhood crush. There were less people on the floor you were on, but it was still crowded enough by drunken couples and some rowdy friend groups to make you feel anxious. This was most definitely a bad idea.
JJ watched you step out of the closet, a small pang of guilt shooting through his chest from knowing you were uncomfortable but now having no way to help the situation. He shot a glare at John B for the 10th time in the last 5 minutes through the doorway, silently warning his friend once again.
"You're a damn dick man. Why did you feel the need to be so rude to her?"
John B just shrugged, looking back at JJ with a sly smile as he replied "Because I thought it would be funny. Besides, I didn't think she'd answer me. I thought she was mute or something."
JJ grimaced, of course John B would find making fun of the shyest person he had ever met, fun. He pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning quietly. He took a deep breath before speaking up again:
"You really can be an annoying bastard, you know that? Sometimes i wonder how you even manage to speak with girls.."
You weaved through the mass of people at the house party, bumping into couples getting busy and grimacing in apology, trying not to stumble over your feet in the cramped space on the staircase. You quickly descended down the stairs, looking for your friend Maisy, to scold her for bringing you here in the first place. Suddenly, a hand on your shoulder stopped you in your tracks. A hand that you recognized, and yet dreaded at the same time. JJ had followed you, and was now stood next to you at the bottom of the stairs.
He gently grabbed your hand, stopping you from walking away. His hand was calloused and rough from years of surfing, yet warm. He spoke up, trying to get your attention over the loud R&B music blaring from the speakers. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
You tensed up from the sudden contact and because well, you thought someone else was grabbing you to pull yet another dumb prank on you, not expecting JJ to follow you and try to talk to you. You shook your head 'no' because as much as you wanted to spend time with him, you knew you'd just clam up and make it weird because this was JJ and you were you.
He noticed how tense you suddenly became once his hand touched you, he couldn't help but silently worry in his head. He wanted to sigh at your immediate response of shaking your head no, but he decided to persist a little more despite not having any reason to:
"Please? I promise I won't make fun of you or anything. I just wanna talk."
"Well, i need to find my friend." you find yourself speaking, although you weren't sure if he heard you over the music or the myriad of sounds and things going on in this house. Really, it was surprising how the neighbors hadn't called the police yet.
JJ leaned closer to you, trying to hear your soft spoken words. He could just barely make out what you had said, but he heard it enough. He looked around for a moment, searching for your friend but not seeing them anywhere in the crowd. But it was a given, since he didn't even know who he was looking for. "Where is your friend? I'll help you look for them."
You shrugged, because you had the same question. Where the hell was Maisy anyway? she disappeared and expected you to what? have fun and party? as if you could do that. Your eyes were fixed on JJ's face, the one you knew and loved through the years, anxiously shifting on your feet at the feel of his big hand still wrapped around your wrist, stopping you from scurrying away.
JJ could sense your anxiousness, he could practically feel the anxious energy coming off your small frame. He subconsciously let his thumb slowly and gently caress your wrist, an attempt to somehow soothe you, even if only slightly. He didn’t like seeing you so anxious.
He suddenly realized that he was still holding your arm, gently keeping you by his side and preventing you from slipping away in the chaos of the house party. He had forgotten in the moment. He looked down at his hand on your arm, "Maybe they went outside.."
You could call her! yeah, you could do that... but what if big mouth Maisy actually showed up and saw JJ Maybank, the dude you had been crushing on since you were a 3rd grader, holding your wrist and actually speaking to you? She'll make this awkward and run her mouth, possibly getting you rejected at the same time. So, you thought it was best to just let him speak to you and then leave you to look for her alone. "What do you wanna talk about with me?" you asked, still quietly, hoping and praying he'd hear you and that you didn't come off as rude.
JJ was a little surprised at the fact that you still stayed by his side after he suggested looking for your friend. He honestly thought you would run off. He mentally shrugged, taking the opportunity to talk to you even more. He turned slightly to look down at you as you spoke, leaning forward to hear you better.
His heart skipped a beat as he heard your quiet voice. That same feeling of both guilt and curiosity ran through him again. How could one voice be so soft and quiet, yet so beautiful at the same time? The thought confused and intrigued him.
He took a moment to register that you had asked him a question, the shock of you actually talking to him making his brain fry for a second or two. He quickly brought himself back to reality, realising that he had to reply.
"I just wanted to apologize. About John B i mean, he's a massive dick, no doubt about that. I told him off.."
"It's okay.." you mumbled smiling slightly, adjusting your glasses with the hand that wasn't in JJ's grip. You actually managed to hold the conversation normally, albeit you were still squeaking out your words.
JJ's eyebrows raised at your smile, his eyes widening slightly. He wasn't expecting you to smile as an answer to his apology, it was the last reaction he had expected. And yet, it was a welcome one. It made him feel better, deep down he felt guilty for his friend's behavior.
He stared at you for another moment, the hand he was using to hold your wrist moving once again, his thumb still slowly caressing your skin. He hadn't even noticed he was doing it this time.
JJ quickly snapped out of the little trance and cleared his throat, speaking up again. He didn’t want to make things weird and freak you out. He could feel John B’s eyes on him, he knew the bastard was watching him from the top of the stairs and silently giggling about the whole thing. He pushed down his annoyance, his eyes moving away from your face and around the room, looking at the other people gathered around them. "You said this party was your friend’s idea, right?"
You nodded silently, glancing around the room for your stupid best friend. You were gonna kill Maisy for disappearing on you like this, especially at a party of this calibre. You tried to ignore how JJ was still holding onto your wrist, now rubbing his thumb over your skin to probably soothe you. It made you feel more nervous and anxious, the urge to bolt even more strong now. You didn't wanna mess it up and make it awkward or worse come off as a creep by staring at him or saying something stupid, although the last part was impossible given you barely spoke.
JJ bit the inside of his cheek as you silently nodded back to his question. He was starting to realize how hard you were to talk to, how shy you were. It made him feel bad. He found himself wishing that he could just hear your voice just a little louder. It was so gentle. It made him want to hear more of it, but he had no idea how to get you to speak more without making you uncomfortable.
He quickly stopped himself from thinking any further, realizing that he was starting to sound like a creep in his own head.
They stood there silently for a couple more seconds, as JJ desperately tried to think of something to say to break the silence without making things weird. He could still feel John B’s eyes on him, silently watching the whole situation and probably having the time of his life.
"So...how come I've never seen you around at school before? "
He tried, even though he knew the answer. He just needed to get you talking.
Ouch. You saw him at school all the time, even took routes around the school just to get to pass by him in the halls and hear him talk so loudly to his friends and laugh. So the question stung a little. You looked up at him, shrugging your shoulders, narrowing your eyes and blinking a couple of times, your brain desperately trying to just block out the sound of the music which was making your lungs feel like they were being shaken up.
JJ mentally cringed as he saw the slightly hurt look in your eyes, he regretted his choice of question immediately. Stupid. Of course you were at school, he saw you at school, he just never seen you with anyone.
He winced as he heard that music change to something even louder. The constant music was starting to grate his nerves.
"Can we go outside for a second? I can't even freaking hear myself think in here."
Your brows furrowed, considering his suggestion. It was a good idea, you could call Maisy, maybe have a cigarette too and let your ears get a break from this loud music blaring in them. So you nodded hesitantly, glancing around one last time in case you magically spotted your best friend.
JJ let out a breath of relief when you nodded your head in agreement. He was glad he didn’t have to try and shout over the music anymore. He turned, pulling gently on your wrist to lead you toward the front door. He weaved through people, avoiding getting into conversations. He was determined to get you alone outside so he could talk to you.
Finally, they made it outside. JJ released your wrist as they reached the front door. He took a deep breath, enjoying the sudden lack of music and the relative quiet (well, aside from the still loud music coming from inside). JJ took a step away from you as he turned to face you.
"Thank god, I thought my ears were gonna bleed with that damn music in there."
'Yeah..' you agreed mentally once again, nodding with a small smile and adjusting your glasses as you stood on the porch, finally able to breathe fresh air, a stark contrast from the muted and sweaty smelling air inside. You needed to start saying words out loud, instead of just answering in your mind.
JJ leaned against the porch railing, stuffing his hands into his pockets. The air was much cooler outside, compared to the stuffy heat that was present inside.
He took a few seconds to study you as you stood across from him. The light from the porch made you look even more softer, if that was even possible. You looked so small in that moment, it made him wonder how you had managed to make it to high school.
He shook himself out of his thoughts, clearing his throat before speaking up again. He couldn’t believe that he was actually talking to you, and the fact that he hadn’t messed it up yet was a surprise to him. He didn’t want to think about how bad he would screw it up in the future.
"So uh...wanna explain why you were hiding in a closet? "
There. A question to get the conversation going. He mentally cursed himself in his head, realizing how stupid the question sounded.
"I got pushed in at the same time as you." You found the courage to speak yay! and not so shaky and quiet either. Maybe it was the fact that he thought you were just hiding in the moldy closet, like an actual mouse, which made you wanna defend yourself. That's what was missing from this situation, for him to think you were an actual dumbass who was hiding in a closet because she was afraid of party sounds.
JJ found himself chuckling, raising an eyebrow at your answer. He didn’t expect that particular answer, he was expecting you to say that you just decided to hide in the closest instead of socializing. But pushed in? He could actually believe that. "Damn. Got pushed into a closet with me? That’s gotta be some pretty shitty luck."
'I'd like to think it was kinda lucky of me to get pushed in with you, of all people...' you laughed internally. You glanced at him, tearing your eyes from the street in front of the house, narrowing your eyes at his words, but deciding to just stay silent. It was better than saying something to counter it or even worse.. to try and be funny and fail.
JJ’s eyebrows nearly raised at the sound of your small, quiet laugh. He hadn’t expected you to laugh at his joke, he was actually surprised that you had responded at all. That laugh was definitely enough to make him keep going to get that sweet, soft sound to come back.
“You know, you have a really pretty laugh..“ The sentence was out of his mouth before he could even realize it. He internally winced, hoping he hadn’t just made things weird by complimenting you. Not that he didn't compliment girls usually. If anything, that's how he managed to score in the first place. But in your case he wasn't trying to flatter you to get in your pants. He simply found you interesting.
You could feel yourself blush at his compliment, not realizing you actually laughed out-loud instead of just thinking about it in your head. You scolded yourself internally for reacting to such a casual sentence, he was just being nice after all, not asking you to marry him. "Thanks." you managed to mutter out quietly, hoping it sounded at least a tad bit grateful, and not rude and clipped.
JJ’s heart skipped a beat when he saw that adorable blush on your face. He had never seen you so expressive yet quiet at the same time since he'd met you less than an hour ago. He silently smirked to himself, now he knew how to make you blush. He mentally noted that fact down for later. The fact that you had mumbled out a simple “thanks” in response, just made everything even better for him. He would take anything you responded with, just so he could get you to keep talking and hear that angelic voice.
He shifted against the railing, his hand moving to his back pocket to pull out a pack of cigarettes. He quickly took one out, putting it between his lips. He glanced down at you as he pulled out a lighter to light the cigarette.
He held the pack out to you, silently offering you a cigarette as well. Which as he did, he realized that it wasn't really the epitome of smooth or romantic. But he already had his hand out stretched. JJ was becoming annoyed at himself for overthinking his every move, feeling like he was losing his footing on a ground he'd navigated countless times.
A small amused grimace made its way on your face despite trying to stop it, silently debating if you should take a cigarette. You pulled out your own lighter, stepping a little closer, not too much to look weird, lighting his cigarette before taking one for yourself. 'Wow.. so confident, lighting his cigarette for him.' you quipped sardonically in your head as you lit the cigarette for your self and took a long drag from it.
JJ’s eyes widened a little in surprise when you stepped closer to him, so close that you could reach out and touch him, if you wanted to. He watched you flick your lighter on, a small wave of excitement rushing through him as you held the light to his cigarette. He leaned his head forward slightly, putting the other end of the cigarette to his mouth and taking a drag. He exhaled the smoke as he watched you light your own cigarette.
He almost laughed when he saw the small grimace that came across your face.
He took another drag of the cigarette, his eyes studying the features of your face. You looked so beautiful like this, in the soft light of the porch with a cigarette between your lips. It was enough for him to realize that he wanted to see you like this more - not just tonight but anytime he could.
He turned away slightly as he exhaled the smoke, trying to calm his thoughts once again. He didn’t know you and yet here he was, already getting addicted to being close to you and hearing you talk.
The cigarette was a welcome relief given the fact that you were on edge since you came to the stupid party, leaning on the railing and taking long drags to fill your lungs with the smoke, the nicotine swirling around in your brain. Here you were, smoking a cigarette casually with the guy you were pinning after for years. 3rd grade you would probably faint and break her glasses in 2 if she knew.
JJ silently watched how you exhaled the smoke that was going into your lungs. It was hypnotizing watching you do this, something about it just made him want to keep watching. It was just so oddly satisfying to watch you smoke. He knew it probably wasn’t, but he didn’t care in that moment. It was oddly pleasing in a way he couldn’t explain.
He took another drag, letting the cigarette sit between his lips as he spoke. "You smoke often?"
"Yeah.. helps with the whole social anxiety thing.." you nodded your words followed by a small dry chuckle as you side glanced at him, exhaling the smoke to the side to avoid blowing it directly in his face.
JJ couldn’t help but notice the little side glance at him. That action, for some reason, made his stomach flip and flutter like it had a mind of its own, the way your eyes fixed on him momentarily making him nervous for some reason. A small smirk formed on his face as he blew out his own puff of smoke.
"Social anxiety, huh?"
He took another drag of the cigarette, his eyes looking straight at you as he did. He chuckled slightly, he never thought you would be the type to suffer from social anxiety, mostly because of his prejudice towards your social status. You had always seemed so quiet and reserved, but he never assumed it was because of that. But, as he looked at you now, taking a puff of your cigarette and shyly glancing at him every so often, he was starting to realize that maybe social anxiety made sense. The thought made him realize that he really didn’t know you at all, and that he desperately wanted to change that.
He leaned against the railing once again, taking another drag from the cigarette as he decided on what to say next.
Before he had the chance to do so, none other than your best friend Maisy, burst through the front door, her eyes fixed on you and probably not noticing JJ at first, "Y/n/n! where have you been, girl? You just missed the whole ordeal with Maybank getting locked in a closet with some random girl. It was so crazy.. I looked for you so i could tell you all about it!" she gasped excitedly as she clasped her hands on your shoulders, her loud voice and sudden appearance startling you and JJ. She could not, for the life of her read the room. Ever.
JJ’s eyes immediately went from you to Maisy, he was going to attempt to make more conversation until your best friend burst through the door.
He stiffened at hearing his last name, instantly tensing at what Maisy had said, now staring at the strawberry blonde mess of hair when she stepped in front of him to grab your shoulders.
You cleared your throat awkwardly, glancing over Maisy's shoulder to signal JJ's presence, glaring at her subtly. You didn't want her to say something stupid and reveal your feelings by mistake and embarrass you in front of him. Maisy’s eyes suddenly widened as she realized that she had walked out in the middle of a conversation you having with someone. She followed your gaze and looked over her shoulder, noticing JJ for the first time.
She gasped as her eyes widened even more, her look of surprise quickly turning into a smirk as she glanced back and forth from JJ to you.
You shook your head as if to say, 'don't, i'll kill you.
Maisy, the best friend she was, completely forgot about the look you had given her and the silent threat you were trying to convey in seconds upon receiving it. She had suddenly realized that you were standing beside JJ by yourself, and she was about to take full advantage of the situation. She smirked at you and wiggled her eyebrows dramatically, silently teasing you in her own way.
"Maisy. Please." you widened your eyes, silently scolding her and desperately suppressing the urge to groan out loud. Maisy was well aware of your MASSIVE years long crush on JJ, and you knew she was happy about this, in her own way, of course.
Maisy’s smirk grew as she saw how you widened your eyes and silently begged her not to say anything. She knew how big of a crush you had on JJ and how long you had wanted a moment like this. She was going to make the most of this.
She feigned innocence, silently raising an eyebrow at you as if to say "what".
JJ glanced back and forth between the two of you, picking up on the tension that he couldn’t fully understand. He glanced at you, noticing the look in your eyes as you looked at your friend. He could almost feel the pleading in your eyes, silently begging her not to say anything.
He looked at your friend, catching the smirk that was on her face. He silently tried to figure out what was going on. What was going through the mind of your bratty friend in that moment?
Mimsy glanced at JJ, noticing the curious look he had on his face. She couldn’t help but tease her friend, this was a once lifetime chance and she wasn’t going to pass up on the opportunity to tease her just a little.
She continued her innocent look as she turned back to you. She smirked as she leaned her head in your direction, acting as if she was going to whisper something into your ear. But instead, she spoke loudly, making sure JJ could hear her too. She loved tormenting you just a bit too much.
"You're alone with JJ Maybank of all people. How does it feel?"
Maisy said, a sly grin on her face as she watched your reaction. She was enjoying messing with you and making a fool of you in front of the guy that you liked a little too much for her liking. She didn't care, she loved embarrassing you. It was a friend’s right to tease their other friend in front of a potential love interest, right?
"Embarrassing, given you're here now." you glared at her, probably the most expressive JJ had seen you since you started speaking in the closet. A small sigh escaped your lips and you barely contained the urge to face-palm dramatically.
Maisy let out a loud gasp, acting as if she was offended by your words. She put her hand over her heart, a dramatic look crossing her face as she spoke. She was really enjoying this just so she could get a reaction out of you, which in turn would get a reaction out of JJ.
“Oh, wow. You’re being a bit rude, aren’t you? I can’t believe you’d say that in front of JJ. So insulting.”
JJ let out a stifled laugh as your friend dramatically pretended to be offended. He couldn’t help but find her antics amusing as he watched the whole scene unfold in front of his eyes. But he really couldn’t help but notice the glare you gave to your friend. It was the most expressive facial expression he had seen you wear so far, and he had to admit that he rather liked it. There was something about you standing up for yourself that he found attractive, even if it was just in a small way.
"And also I'm gonna kill you for ditching me like that.. " you added quietly, slapping Maisy's shoulder teasingly even though you were still glaring at her.
Misy let out another gasp as you slapped her shoulder. She feigned a look of pain on her face as she dramatically winced and rubbed the spot where you had slapped her in a playful way. She let out a loud melodramatic "ow". Clearly she was just messing with you at this point.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ditch you. I just had to do something REALLLLYYY important." she countered, her words dripping with suggestive undertones rather than genuine apology.
"Like?" you raised one brow, feigning annoyance.
Maisy shrugged her shoulders slightly, trying her best to look innocent. It was all an act, and she was enjoying it so much. She loved getting a rise out of you just so she could see the way you reacted and how you acted in front of JJ. In another world, she would’ve been a professional drama actor with the way she was able to act so well.
"Just something..., you know. The usual. Important, fun, necessary stuff."
"You need to drive me home. I hate this stupid party." you put out your cigarette, sighing and groaning out loud this time as you adjusted your glasses, leaning away from the railing.
Your best friend laughed at your irritation. She knew that you hated parties and that you dreaded them, that’s why she’d convinced you to come to this one in the first place. It was just her way of being a good friend.
"Alright, alright. Stop being such a prude. I’ll take you home, you baby. Just let me say 'bye' to a few people first. You’re such a buzzkill, you know that?"
"Ugh Maisy.. you're just gonna take forever." you groaned once again at the thought of having to follow her around while she bid her never-ending goodbyes.
"I'll just skate home. Where's your car? i left my board in there." at that point, given how quiet JJ was you forgot momentarily that he was there, speaking freely and more expressively.
Misy raised her eyebrows dramatically as you mentioned skating home. If there was one thing she hated more than parties, it was your habit of skating everywhere. It was like you were allergic to cars. She let out a fake gasp and dramatically put her hand on her chest like she had been wounded.
“Skate home this late!? Alone!? You’re joking right?”
"Unlock the car. I can see it from here." you deadpanned, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, nodding towards her car parked a bit messily on the lawn of the house.
Maisy scoffed and turned towards where her car was parked. She pulled out her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the car.
“Ugh. Fine. But if you get kidnapped or murdered, I’m not taking the blame. You’re such a pain, you know that right?”
"Bye... I'll see you tomorrow when you're hung over." you waved a hand in her face dramatically, the gesture sarcastic.
Maisy rolled her eyes at your sarcastic wave. She couldn’t help but smirk at how much of a pain you were being. She put a hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow at you in a sarcastic way.
“Ugh, thanks for that. I look forward to your sarcastic and overly annoying comments in the morning. See you, baby.”
With that she turned on her heel and walked back into the house, heading back into the party with a smirk still on her face. She was beyond satisfied with herself. She had pushed your buttons enough for you to be a bit more expressive in front of JJ and get a reaction from both you and him. It was one of her favorite pastimes to see you flustered and a bit irritated just at her presence.
The moment she disappeared inside, the only person left outside on the porch was you and JJ.
After Maisy had gone back inside, the porch suddenly felt much quieter than before. The only sounds heard were the crickets in the background and the muffled noise from the party inside. JJ glanced over at you, his eyes studying your face once again. He couldn’t help but notice the change in your demeanor the moment your annoying friend left.
As soon as your best friend left you were aware that you were alone with JJ again. You glanced at him adjusting your glasses nervously, "sorry about that.."
JJ couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as you nervously adjusted your glasses the moment you realised you were alone with him. He raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the railing of the porch once again, his gaze fixed on you.
"No need to apologize. Your friend is… something else.”
Back to clamming up like a dumbass you go. You nodded silently, a small apologetic smile tugging at your lips. You were going to skate home, but you weren't sure how to.. end the conversation with JJ? should you just leave? wave at him? no... that's too casual, he doesn't even know you. Saying bye felt pathetic.
JJ chuckled again as you fell back into your shy, nervous demeanor. He could tell that you were overthinking the entire situation in the moment, trying to find the right way to leave. He thought that you looked so awkward and nervous. It was almost cute how unsure of yourself you were.
He pushed himself off the railing and took a step towards you.
"You’re still gonna skate home?"
You hummed faintly and nodded, looking out to Maisy's car. You didn't hate the idea of skating home, given you had your earphones with you and you could just take a shortcut to your house from here.
He couldn't help but smirk slightly as you hummed weakly and nodded. He took a couple more steps towards you, closing the gap between the two of you completely. He stood right in front of you, looking down at you with a raised eyebrow. "Not afraid of being kidnapped or murdered like your friend said?"
"I skate at night pretty often." you stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, your voice back to its quiet and soft tone again.
JJ smirked even more as you stated your regular night time skating routine as if it was natural. He let out an amused chuckle, his eyebrows raising at the idea of you skating home alone in the dark so often.
"You skate at night often? You must have a death wish, doll."
You furrowed your brows at his nickname, whipping your head to look up at him with an expression resembling confusion. It was mostly to hide how flustered it made you, a small frown forming on your face, which wasn't supposed to be rude in any way, you were just... thrown off.
He smirked as you whipped your head up to look at him, your face showing a look of confusion mixed with… dare he say it, was that a hint of blush on your cheeks? He let out a small chuckle as he noticed your small, almost pouty frown. "What's with that look for, doll? You got a problem with the new nickname?"
You pursed your lips, as if mulling over the nickname in your head and dissecting it. He had no reason to call you that, but you knew JJ even though he didn't know you. You knew he was carefree and casual with everyone, so it wasn't hard for him to say certain things or make jokes. A part of you had always been envious of that, ever since you started liking him. Maybe that's why you liked him. He was the opposite of you, and in some ways you wished you could be like him, or like the girls you knew he usually went for.
He observed your facial expressions closely as you seemed to be deep in thought. He could practically hear the gears turning in your head as you thought about the nickname he had given you. He didn’t know why he called you "doll", it just came out naturally in the moment. He had a habit of nicknaming people, especially pretty ones, without even thinking about it. But for some reason, he was more interested in your reaction to it this time. It was the first nickname he had given you, and he wondered how you would react to it.
He chuckled softly to himself as he watched you purse your lips slightly, your facial expression almost looking like you were analyzing and dissecting the nickname he had given you. He couldn’t help but feel amused at the way you were acting. You were so quiet and soft-spoken, so different from anything he was used to. It was almost endearing in a way. He found your shyness refreshing and cute.
You decided you had enough of just standing there awkwardly and you looked up at him, nodding in greeting and walking towards the steps off the porch, your feet moving slowly, as if you were hesitating, afraid not to create a hole through the wood or something. You didn't wanna leave obviously, but you were awkward and weird and flustered easily and he was... well, JJ. You decided that you liked pining after him from afar from your camera lenses and behind corners rather than embarrassing yourself by talking to him face to face.
JJ watched as you nodded in greeting and began to walk down the steps of the porch. He let out a small chuckle as he noticed the slow and hesitant way you moved, as if you were afraid to break something on the way. He found your nervous mannerisms to be endearing, and he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in your head at that moment.
As you started walking away, he couldn’t help but step forward and speak up before you got too far.
"Hey, wait."
He took a few steps towards you, closing the distance between the two of you again as he spoke up, his voice low and gentle. "You’re just gonna leave like that, doll?"
"Well.. yeah?" you grimaced hesitantly, curious as to why he seemed so adamant on speaking with you even though you were silent most of the time.
He raised an eyebrow at your hesitancy and grimace. He couldn’t help but feel a mix of annoyance and interest at the fact that you were just going to leave without a second thought. He had wanted to talk to you more, and he wasn’t about to give up just yet.
"You can’t just leave after you’ve barely said anything at this party. You’re too quiet, it’s a little weird."
Ouch again. He probably didn't mean to make another stingy comment, but you still felt the sting a little. You didn't let it show though, raising your brows and adjusting your glasses, looking at him as if expecting him to continue, despite the obvious figurative period at the end of his sentence.
He noticed the subtle flash of hurt in your eyes at his comment, but he didn’t apologize for it. He had a reputation to maintain after all. He raised an eyebrow in return at your raised brows and expression, expecting you to say something. When you didn’t, his eyes narrowed slightly as if he was annoyed that you weren’t responding. "Is that all you’re gonna do, just stare at me?"
You looked to the side as if considering his question, nodding slowly and silently. You knew he probably didn't like it, you weren't the kind of person that would hang around JJ Maybank after all. But you couldn't help it, your brain just didn't wanna speak sometimes, it was like it was selectively mute, which was very asshole-ish of it.
He let out a low sigh at your nod and silent response. He found it both annoying and endearing at the same time how reticent you were. He wasn’t used to someone being this quiet and reserved around him. Usually girls would cling to him or talk endlessly, never shutting up.
He took a small step closer to you, his eyes narrowed slightly as he looked down at you. He leaned forward slightly, his voice low and gruff as he spoke. "You can at least say something, doll."
"Something." you spoke without realizing, the word soft and quiet even though it was more sarcastic than anything.
A surprised laugh escaped his lips at your unexpected sarcastic response. He didn’t expect you to actually say something, let alone something sarcastic.
"Clever."
He said dryly as a smirk formed on his face, his eyebrows raising slightly. He was enjoying this more than he cared to admit, he wasn’t used to people being sarcastic back to him, not someone as quiet as you anyway.
He leaned in slightly closer, his smirk slowly morphing into a small, amused smile. He liked how blunt and sarcastic you could be, and the fact that you were being sarcastic with him was almost funny. "You sure know how to make conversation, doll."
You raised your brows and nodded looking to the side once again as if to say 'i know right?', a small scoff leaving your lips.
He chuckled softly at your raised brows and subtle scoff. It was like you were trying to match his confidence and snarky attitude but by being quiet at the same time, and he couldn’t help but find it amusing. He took another small step forward, getting even closer to you. "You sure are a sassy one, doll. Most people would be a stuttering mess in front of me right now."
'I am stuttering... mentally.' you thought, fixing him with your gaze. You were sure you were plenty nervous in front him anyway, stuttering would just make you explode probably. You were sure that would actually happen if it came down to it.
He could see the hint of nervousness in your eyes as you fixed him with a steady gaze. He knew that you were probably feeling very nervous and intimidated by his presence, but you were doing a good job at not letting it show. It was refreshing to him that you weren’t falling all over yourself in front of him like most girls did.
"You’re awfully quiet though. How come you’re not all over me like most girls are?" He asked, his voice laced with sarcasm and subtle curiosity.
'Oh, how i would love to-..' you stopped that thought before it actually finished in your mind, shaking it out of your brain quickly. Your version of being all over him was stalking him around and taking pretty artsy and stalkerish pictures of him from afar. Of course that was embarrassing to think about, especially when he was standing right in front of you, talking and giving you casual nicknames like 'doll and mouse.'
He noticed the brief second when you seemed to zone out for a moment before snapping yourself out of it. He couldn’t help but be intrigued by the look that had crossed your face, if only for a split second. He raised an eyebrow at your sudden change in demeanor and wondered what had just gone through your head.
"You sure love zoning out, doll. You alright in that head of yours?"
You nodded swiftly, looking back up at him. Still, you couldn't seem to get a word out, which was becoming annoying for you. You can talk to him, he's not gonna bite.
He could sense your frustration at your inability to speak, even though he could also tell that you were trying to remain calm and collected in front of him. He found your struggle both endearing and irritating at the same time.
He chuckled softly before speaking again, his voice soft and casual. "You know you can talk to me, right? Like, actually say something out loud."
"I'm a girl of few words." you spoke up, pursing your lips gently as you looked up at him, nodding in a self-assured way.
He chuckled again at your response, his eyes fixed on your pursed lips. There was something strangely intriguing about the way you looked at him, even with your glasses in the way. "I can tell, doll. You’re practically mute." like an actual doll, that was even more funnier to think about in JJ's mind.
He found himself moving closer to you again, a smirk playing on his lips. He was enjoying the fact that you were struggling to speak, and secretly found it cute how shy and awkward you were around him.
"You’re a little mouse, aren’t ya? Too shy to talk?"
You hated that word when it was used to describe your quietness by others, but when it came out of his mouth and it rolled off his lips you found it almost... sweet. The way he seemed to weigh his words and keep his rowdy and loud behavior in check made you feel.. special? but also pitied, like he was scared of scaring you away. You raised your brows, adjusting your glasses and smiling slightly at him, nodding again after a few seconds.
He could see the hint of annoyance in your eyes when he called you a mouse, but it was gone as soon as he saw you smile slightly.
"Awww, look at that, she finally smiled. I didn’t think it was possible with you being so quiet."
He mocked your silence once more, just to tease you a bit more. He found your reactions and facial expressions entertaining, even if you were silent most of the time.
Somehow you found the courage to reach up and smack his shoulder playfully, glaring at him half heartedly. The action surprised even yourself, retracting your hand fast in fear that you might've made him uncomfortable.
His eyes widened slightly in surprise when you reached up and smacked his shoulder, the action catching him off guard. It was the first time you had physically touched him, and he couldn’t help but feel a small spark of electricity at the contact. He also noticed the way you retracted your hand quickly, as if you were afraid of what he might do.
He laughed softly at the look on your face, his smirk widening.
"Did you just SMACK me, mouse?"
"Sorry.." you stuttered out, stepping back a little nervously. It was supposed to be a casual teasing smack but as per usual, you made things awkward and weird. Just like you always did.
He chuckled again at your stuttered apology, the sound low and gruff. He found your nervous mannerisms and stuttering quite endearing. It was an odd thing, being intrigued by someone who hardly talked and was very awkward. He took a step closer to you, closing the distance between you again. "Don’t apologize, doll. I’m not mad." He said lowly, his smirk fading into a soft smile.
You nodded quickly, turning away suddenly and walking towards Maisy's car to retrieve your board and skate home. God, you had spoken to him more than you ever did in these 8 years of pining after him. And it was so nerve wrecking, having someone have some much control over you without even knowing.
As you walked away, JJ couldn't help but feel a bit of disappointment that you were leaving already. He watched you walk towards Maisy's car, and a part of him wanted to call out to you to stay, but he didn't.
He couldn't quite understand why, but there was something about you that he found strangely captivating. Despite the fact that you were very shy and awkward around him, he felt strangely drawn to you. He didn’t want the conversation to end just yet.
He thought about calling out to you to wait, but something stopped him. He wasn't sure what it was, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up. Instead, he just watched as you walked away, his eyes fixed on your retreating form.
Maybe it was the way you had looked at him with those shy, behind-the-glasses eyes, or the soft, almost sarcastic responses you had given him despite your quiet nature. Something just made him want to keep talking to you, even if all you did was just nod and stay silent most of the time. Maybe that's what JJ needed, someone quiet enough to help him ground his loudness. But that thought was shaken away when he realized you were a stranger and the 2 of you might not even interact ever again.
JJ was still standing there at base of the porch steps, watching as you opened the back seat of Maisy's car. He raised an eyebrow at the state of the car, thinking to himself about how messy it was. As you retrieved your board from under the pile of clothes and Gatorade bottles, he watched your every movement intently.
When you suddenly turned around and waved at him, JJ couldn’t help but feel a fluttering in his chest. He couldn’t quite understand why, but he found the gesture strangely adorable.
He raised his hand in response, waving back at you.
"Night, mouse. Don't get lost on the way home."
He called out, his smirk returning to his face. He couldn't help but tease you a little before you left, it was too hard not to poke at your shy demeanor.
You couldn't help but smile at his use of the nickname again, placing your board on the sidewalk and glancing at him one last time before finally forcing yourself to skate away down the sidewalk, the sound of the party becoming distant as you skated down the street.
JJ watched as you placed your board on the sidewalk and started skating away. He couldn’t help but notice the small smile that had appeared on your face when he had called you 'mouse' again. He felt a small twinge of satisfaction being the cause of the smile, even if it was a small one.
—♡‧
Tumblr media Tumblr media
A/n: Okay so... what do we think about the first interaction? I decided mid-way that I'm making this multiple parts..☆*: .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆ if this does well I'll post part 2.. JJ is such a yapper, and the reader is.. not. I'll take this down if people don't read it but i have an entire story about these 2 :( I'm just curious if this was too long
103 notes · View notes
bomber-grl · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
Call Me Penelope cause You’re My Odysseus
Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x Gn!Reader (No specific Godly Parent
Word Count:4411
Tumblr media
-
Leo… Leo.
Your thoughts wandered again as you patrolled the deck, the cool sea air nipping at your face. You’d told Percy to take a break—he’d been on edge lately, and you weren’t exactly complaining. Honestly, the more space you had between yourself and Leo Valdez, the better. Your face heated up every time he came anywhere near you.
You found yourself staring at the churning waves, hypnotized by the relentless cycle of them crashing over each other. Lost in thought, you didn’t even notice the steps behind you until—
"Hey!"
You jumped, spinning around in surprise. Of course, standing there, looking ridiculously charming despite the late hour, was none other than Leo Valdez, master of bad timing and probably worse pick-up lines.
Leo’s face mirrored your shock for a moment, but then, just like that, he slid into his usual smirk. The one that was half nervous, half confident—basically, classic Leo. He scratched the back of his head. "What are you doing out here?" he asked, voice a little higher than usual. "Didn’t think I’d find anyone else stupid enough to be up this late."
You couldn't help but laugh. "What are you doing up? I wasn’t aware they let you off the ship’s leash."
Leo blinked, the surprise lingering. "Oh, you know. Just fixing some stuff down in the engine room. Festus was acting all weird, and I had to check on the ship's defenses because apparently, nothing is stopping this whole quest from blowing the Argo ll up every five minutes. But, you know, minor stuff." He gave you a one-shoulder shrug that was probably meant to be cool, but just made him look like he’d forgotten how to stand.
You shook your head, grinning. “Still can’t believe you made the ship. Seriously, that’s pretty impressive.”
Leo blinked at you. Once. Twice. His mouth opened like he was going to say something, but then he just closed it again, visibly thrown by your sincerity. You could practically see his brain buffering. He shuffled a little, his hand rubbing the back of his neck in that endearing way he did when he was flustered. Finally, he stammered out, "I mean, I didn’t do it alone but Uh, thanks. That's... really nice of you to say."
And yeah, maybe you kind of like throwing him off balance. There was something oddly satisfying about making the charming, ever-flirty Leo Valdez pause for just a moment.
The thing about Leo? He was a flirt. A big flirt. He could try to charm anyone with a few slick words and a wink, but you learned pretty quickly that Leo’s confidence was just a shiny coat of paint over a ton of... well, feelings—and maybe some issues with his self-esteem.
You’d figured that out one day when you found yourself near him, as he was busily patching up something that had gotten busted in the last battle (because, naturally, everything on the Argo II was always getting busted). Of course, he spotted you and immediately called you over. Because why wouldn’t he?
And that’s how it went: You’d talk for a bit. But then Leo would try to flirt. Sometimes it was an awful pick-up line—so awful it actually made you laugh. And sometimes, he’d lean on something like he was trying to be extra suave and... miss. Then fall. Always a good time.
And on the rare occasions where he didn’t totally embarrass himself? He’d wait for your reaction, face half hopeful, half insecure.
Most of the time, you’d play it cool and pretend to be bashful—making him think he’d won. Other times, though, you’d flirt back. It started as a joke, really. He was always burning up, so one time you decided to play along, and the result? Well, he caught fire. Literally. You weren’t exaggerating. He was on fire, and you had to grab a fire extinguisher before the whole deck turned into an inferno.
“Leo,” you said, raising an eyebrow. “You know, if you keep setting yourself on fire every time I talk to you, I’m going to start charging for these rescue missions.”
He flashed you that crooked grin of his, his cheeks turning a shade of red you hadn’t known a person could turn. "I'm pretty sure I'd pay anything to get you to keep talking to me."
And there it was again, that flirtation. But beneath it? Was there something else? Something you couldn’t quite put your finger on yet? You didn’t know. But damn, Leo had a way of making you want to find out.
-
After one of the many, many exhausting days aboard the Argo II, you had one singular goal in mind: get to your cabin, collapse into your bed, and pray that nothing—nothing—would interrupt your much-needed sleep. It was a rare occasion when you could actually get some peace, and you were determined to make the most of it.
But of course, life had other plans.
As you walked down the hall, a distant murmur of voices caught your attention. You froze. Was this the part where you ignored it and moved on? Definitely. Were you actually going to do that? Absolutely not.
You crept closer, your footsteps barely audible. You could’ve sworn you were moving like a ninja—or at least what you imagined a ninja would look like if they had absolutely no stealth whatsoever. Anyway, it was too late to back out now.
You stopped at a corner, inching closer to the source of the voices. Your heart was pounding in your chest—not from the adrenaline, but from the fact that you had, once again, found yourself doing something questionable for the sake of curiosity.
You strained your ears and waited. And then—there it was. The voices of Leo and Jason, clearly in the middle of some deep conversation. You caught snippets of their exchange.
“...what about you and [your name]?” Jason’s voice floated through the air.
You froze, your eyes widening. You hadn’t been expecting that. At all.
Your heart did a little leap as you leaned in closer. “What about me and Leo?” you thought, trying to make sense of it.
Leo’s voice answered—there was a momentary pause before his usual confidence took over. “I like them. Like, actually like them,” he said, his tone laced with that trademark Leo half-cocky, half-nervous vibe.
You blinked. Your brain might’ve stopped working for a solid second. Did Leo just say—?
Before you could fully process the implications of what you’d overheard, you heard their conversation fade into something less distinct, a murmur of words lost in the distance. You were left standing there, a bit dazed, your face heating up. Your heart, too, was doing that thing where it sped up in an uncomfortable, almost violent way. The idea of you and Leo?
No. No way.
Your thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a fake, overly dramatic clearing of a throat behind you. You spun around faster than you had ever moved in your life, nearly bumping into the person who had caught you mid-espionage.
And of course, it was none other than Piper.
Piper. Cool, composed, and way too clever for her own good. The girl who always seemed to be two steps ahead of you. And judging by the smirk she was giving you right now, she had definitely been aware of your little eavesdropping escapade.
She just shook her head, looking at you with that amused grin you’d come to recognize. “Really? Eavesdropping now? That’s a new one for you.”
You opened your mouth to say something—anything—but nothing came out. Instead, you just gave her a sheepish look and shrugged, pretending like you were totally innocent in all of this.
Piper’s smirk softened into a smile. “Come on,” she said, tilting her head as she beckoned you to follow. “Let’s go. Before you get caught.”
You followed her down the hall, your mind still spinning. Leo? Actually liking you? You couldn’t even. This was... a lot to process. And now that you were trying to piece it together, your thoughts were as tangled as the ropes on the ship after a storm.
But Piper—bless her—seemed to sense your mental chaos. She didn’t bring it up again, instead chatting with you casually, like nothing had happened. She was way too good at pretending she hadn’t just caught you doing something totally questionable.
Still, as you walked behind her, you couldn’t help but glance back toward the hallway, where Leo and Jason’s conversation was probably still happening. You could almost feel your face flush again just thinking about it.
Piper glanced at you from the corner of her eye and raised an eyebrow. “You okay back there?” she asked, clearly amused by your dazed expression.
You nodded. “Yeah, totally fine. Nothing weird going on here. Nope. Not at all.”
She laughed softly, clearly not buying it. “Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever you say.”
And as you followed her down the hall, you couldn't help but wonder just how much Leo Valdez was going to mess with your head in the days to come. And just how much Piper knew about all of it.
-
The battle unfolded in the blink of an eye. One moment, you, Piper, and Leo were aboard the Argo II, navigating the skies with the hum of the engines beneath your feet. The next, a blast of icy power ripped through the air, and Khione and her goons attacked, freezing everything in their wake. Piper’s charmspeak wasn’t enough to prevent Leo from being thrown violently into the sky, his form disappearing into the distance with an eerie speed.
It was as if time had frozen, leaving you suspended in disbelief. It all happened so fast—too fast. It wasn’t until Piper’s desperate scream rang through the air, her voice cracked with fear, that the weight of what had just occurred hit you. “Leo!” she cried, reaching out as if she could pull him back through the chaos. But Leo was already gone.
The days following his disappearance felt like an endless blur. The crew did their best to carry on, but without Leo’s infectious energy, the Argo II felt eerily quiet. A hollow ache gnawed at you—frustration, fear, and confusion all bubbling together. You couldn’t help but wonder where Leo was, if he was even alive. Had he been lost to the winds of fate?
A week later, there was a commotion—shouted voices, the clattering of metal, the unmistakable sound of Festus’ familiar mechanical whirring. It was Leo. He had returned.
Leo, with his wild grin and grease-streaked face, stood beside Festus, both of them already hard at work in the engine room as if nothing had happened. You watched, your heart in your throat, torn between relief and a growing sense of frustration. You wanted to run to him, to yell at him, to ask him a hundred questions, but there was something in his demeanor that made you hesitate. The old Leo was back, but this version felt... distant.
You hadn’t realized how much you missed him until now. Sure, you had a little crush on him, but that wasn’t all of it. Leo had been your first real friend in what felt like centuries, the first person you’d connected with on a level that went beyond the surface. The way he could make you laugh even when everything seemed hopeless—that was something you never thought you’d find again.
But lately, Leo had been avoiding you. He’d slip away whenever you came near, his eyes darting to the floor or the nearest exit. It stung. And today? You had had enough of it.
You found him underdeck, his back turned as he tinkered with the ship’s machinery. Without a second thought, you shoved him hard against the wall. The impact rattled the room, and Leo's surprised gasp was the only sound that followed.
His eyes widened in shock, his usual cocky grin replaced by an expression of flustered bewilderment. You could practically hear the gears turning in his head, trying to process what just happened. But you were done waiting.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” you demanded, your voice unexpectedly cracking on the last word. It took everything in you not to shrink back from the vulnerability that slipped through, but you stood your ground, staring him down.
Leo blinked, clearly startled. The tough guy facade faltered for a moment, and you could almost see the invisible weight on his shoulders. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sure you’ve heard from the others, but I ended up on Ogygia when I got blasted out of here.”
Ogygia. The name echoed in your mind. The island of Calypso, the witch who had nursed Percy back to health years ago when you and Annabeth and apparently the rest of camp thought him to be dead. You’d heard the stories, but hearing Leo mention it made the hairs on your neck stand up. A sense of suspicion crept in.
“Yeah, and what about it?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady, though your heart was racing.
Leo’s eyes narrowed, clearly frustrated that you weren’t already “in the know.” He threw his hands up in exasperation, though his tone was far less confident than usual. “Well... I met Calypso.” He spoke slowly, almost as if testing the waters, waiting for your reaction.
Your eyebrows quirked. “Uh-huh…” You crossed your arms, a half-amused, half-worried look on your face, but you could tell Leo was about to say more.
He exhaled sharply, dragging the words out like they were heavier than lead. “And I may have promised to come back and rescue her... on the River Styx.”
You froze. For a moment, time itself seemed to stop. “You what?!”
The words came out of your mouth before you could stop them, and your anger flared in a way you hadn't expected. Your heart pounded in your chest, the frustration that had been building for days erupting in an instant. “How could you be so stupid, Leo?!" you snapped, desperate for him to understand the gravity of what he’d just said. "You can't be serious!”
Leo seemed startled by the harsh words, but he braced himself, like he’d been expecting them all along. “She needed my help! She’s been stuck on that island for centuries!” His voice was a little defensive, but there was an underlying note of... concern? You exhaled slowly, letting the tension drain from your shoulders. It was clear Leo just felt a sort of kinship with her, the way he always did with anyone who needed saving.
Despite your growing coolness, Leo still felt the need to add, “I don’t... like her, though.”
Your gaze snapped back to him, and for a moment, it was like nothing had changed between the two of you. You found yourself struggling to hide a grin. “And why are you telling me this?” You tried, but amusement was creeping into your voice.
Leo rubbed the back of his neck, his usual nervous gesture. “Well, I just didn’t want you to think I—y’know—had some... thing for her.”
Of course. Only Leo would accidentally dig a hole for himself in the middle of a serious conversation.
You couldn’t help but laugh. “And why would I think that?”
He blinked, his blush spreading to his ears. If you hadn’t been in the middle of this conversation, you were pretty sure his face would’ve caught fire.
You grinned, shaking your head as you reached out to sling your arm around his shoulders. “C’mon, let’s go eat. I’m starving, and you’ve got enough ‘I’m a walking disaster’ moments for one day.”
Leo groaned, but the way his eyes twinkled told you he was secretly relieved. Just another day in the life of Leo Valdez.
-
You met Reyna. She, Nico, and Coach Hedge had taken the task of getting the Athena Parthenos to Camp Jupiter a while ago. They were all heroes in their own right, but the last thing you wanted to do was sit around and wait. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of uncertainty and battles, you made it back to Camp Half-Blood. But of course, peace would never last.
Not here. Not with the war that was brewing on the horizon.
In fact, peace didn't even stand a chance. It didn't last more than a few moments after you stepped foot back on the camp’s familiar soil. The battle found you again, just like it always did. You were carried from one fight to the next, running on adrenaline and the relentless desire to protect your friends. Monsters fell before you, and the injured campers you helped were a reminder of what was at stake. But even as you fought, you couldn't shake the feeling that something worse was coming.
Then, you heard it.
A loud bang, a crackle in the sky that sets your teeth on edge. You looked up instinctively, already knowing in the pit of your stomach what was going on. Gaea was being fought, her chaos spilling out over the world. Some of your closest friends were out there, battling the earth goddess herself.
But this—this was different.
The air felt colder, the ground seemed to tremble underfoot. Something had shifted. Your stomach twisted into a knot. Something was wrong, deeper than any battle or monster or war you’d fought before.
And before you could even make sense of it, your attention was yanked away. A shout pierced the chaos—someone calling for help, a camper in trouble.
You didn’t hesitate.
There would be no backing down now. You couldn’t give up, not when you’ve already made it this far.
-
Your gut had been right. The battle raged on, but the worst news hit you like a tidal wave. Leo was gone.
It wasn’t just the usual chaos of battle. This was different. Leo. The guy who could fix anything, who joked through every crisis, who had always been one step ahead of the rest of you. But now? Now he was gone. And the words hit you like a punch to the stomach.
You should’ve known. You should’ve realized that something was off. Leo had been acting strangely lately, slipping into moods you’d never seen him in before. Those long silences. The way he kept pushing people away like he was trying to make himself disappear before the inevitable. And now it all made sense in a way that felt like ice down your spine.
Was this it? Was this what he’d been planning all along?
You couldn’t bring yourself to believe it at first. Leo—a martyr? The thought felt wrong in every possible way. Leo wasn’t the kind to give up, to throw himself away for a cause, no matter how noble. He always had a plan. He always had a way out. But now, as the reality settled in, you couldn’t help but wonder. Was this his plan all along? To go out in a blaze of glory? To save everyone at the cost of himself?
It was impossible to reconcile the Leo you knew with the Leo who might have done this, who might’ve sacrificed himself for the greater good.
But as the news spread and the camp was left to mourn, a heavy, bitter ache formed in your chest. You thought of all the times he’d smiled and cracked jokes, of all the times you’d fought side-by-side, laughing and shouting together. And now... Now there was nothing.
It felt like the world was missing a spark. A spark you knew as Leo.
You pushed the grief aside for the moment—it wasn't time to break down. Not yet. But the thought lingered, gnawing at you. Was this really his choice? And if it was... would you ever be able to forgive him for leaving you behind?
-
Two months had passed.
Each day bled into the next like a long, gray smear, and the world had become nothing but the aching void of Leo Valdez’s absence. The loss was a cold weight in the pit of your stomach, a stone that no amount of time could make lighter. Time, it seemed, only deepened the wound.
Camp Half-Blood had continued, as it always did. The camp was used to death. Demigods were used to death and grief, everyone had to learn to carry their burdens or they’d drown. They had learned to march on, even after losing their closest friends. But you? You couldn’t do it. Not this time.
Leo had been different. He had been your Leo, your spark of light in a world that had so often seemed too dark. And now he was gone. And nothing could fill the hole he left behind.
Amidst your grief you had heard of Apollo's appearance at camp. From what you could gather, he had been punished for Octavian's actions and made human. Even more funnily enough, he was a servant to some hot-headed girl.
But you didn’t care. You couldn’t care about Apollo’s strange fate or his odd little master. The only thing that consumed you was Leo. The only thing that mattered was that Leo was gone, and you were left behind in the ruins of it.
Days turned to weeks, and then weeks into two long, endless months. You stayed in your cabin mostly, not wanting to face the world outside. You couldn't bring yourself to do anything but wallow in the grief. The other campers had tried to help, of course. Some had dropped by to check in on you. A few even brought food, but you couldn’t eat. You didn’t want to eat.
And then one morning, when the sun was barely peeking over the horizon, you finally decided—today, you would leave the cabin.
You stood up slowly, the ache in your chest never leaving. You had gone days without food, but something in you told you it was time to stop. Time to start existing again, at least for a while.
You stepped outside, the crisp air hitting your skin. The camp seemed as alive as ever, filled with the sounds of training, laughter, and chatter. But to you, it all felt distant. The faces of your friends, Percy, Annabeth, Chiron, they all seemed to move through a fog. They had all moved on, in their own ways. But you couldn’t.
And you didn’t care about the camp’s new gossip, either. It wasn’t important. It wasn’t Leo.
But then, as you made your way towards the mess hall, you overheard a conversation, sharp and full of whispers. “Leo’s back. He’s really back.”
Your heart skipped. Your breath caught. Leo?
You hurried towards the Big House, ignoring the pull of your doubt. When you arrived, there was a crowd of campers, gathered in a long line stretching out in front of the door. And, in the center of it all, there he was.
Leo.
You blinked, and for a moment, it felt like your heart might stop. Was this real? Was this... really happening?
He looked the same, but different. His usual cocky grin was there, though he seemed a little subdued, almost unsure. His hair was a mess as always, and his shirt had the usual grease stains from his latest invention. But there was something new about him—something that made your chest tighten.
The line shifted a bit, and it was like everything fell away. The campers were giving you space, stepping aside. You moved forward, not even thinking, just needing to be close to him, needing to see him, to know that this wasn’t a dream.
"Leo?" you whispered, barely able to get the word out.
His eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, he looked stunned, like he couldn't believe his own eyes. Then, in a move that was so typically Leo, he shot up from the bench where he had been sitting, his arms wide open.
“[Your name]” he exclaimed, and before you could even think to react, he wrapped you in a hug. “You won’t believe what’s happened, but—”
You slapped him.
It wasn’t a gentle tap, either. It was a full-on smack, the kind you only give to the person who hurt you most.
Some campers nearby snickered. But you didn’t care. You had to do it. You had to make him feel how angry and hurt you had been all this time. How he had left, without a word, without a goodbye.
Leo froze, his expression turning to one of surprise, then to embarrassment. “Ow! What the—” He rubbed his cheek, eyes wide. “Okay, okay, I deserved it”
You stepped back, your breath shaky, but now that you’d slapped him, something else took over. Something that drowned out all the hurt, the anger, the loss. You threw your arms around him again, pulling him close, holding him tighter this time.
“Don’t you ever leave me like that again, Leo,” you said, your voice breaking. “Do you hear me? I thought... I thought I lost you. You can’t just... just disappear.”
Leo chuckled softly, his voice low and full of warmth, despite the seriousness in your words. “I mean... I didn’t mean to disappear. You know how I am—always making things explode and running off to save the day.” He pulled back slightly, looking at you with that trademark mischievous grin. “But I’m here now. So... does this mean we’re together now? Like... officially?”
You stared at him, blinking in disbelief at his question. For a moment, you almost wanted to laugh—except all the emotions bubbling inside of you weren’t exactly funny.
"Yes," you said, pulling him in and kissing him fiercely, because you couldn’t hold back anymore. Because you needed him. Because you needed him to know you still loved him, even after everything. Even after all the pain.
When you pulled away, Leo was grinning, his usual cocky smile back in full force, despite the tears you both had been holding back. "So... does that mean you're not going to slap me again?"
You could’ve slapped him again. You really could’ve. But instead, you just smiled, shaking your head, and murmured, “No. But I’m never letting you go again.”
And this time, you meant it.
43 notes · View notes
hazbinshusk · 1 day ago
Note
awkward kiss for a husky. Perhaps the reader has never been in a relationship or simply does not know how to kiss. Therefore, this is her first experience.
I tweaked this one a little bit, to make it a continuation of another kiss prompt, but I hope you still like it. combined with a kiss prompt request because they worked so well together. husk's rizz is off the charts here, if I do say so myself.
check out part one (a kiss to the palm of the hand) here.
kiss prompt #39: a tentative kiss
Husk’s paw comes up to curl around your wrist, soft fur and heart-shaped pad pressed against your skin. His voice comes softly, almost… playful. “Your hand is shaking. You okay, doll?”
You nod slowly, your breath caught in your throat.
“Good.” Husk smiles, and your eyes widen as he pulls your hand away, turns his head, and presses his lips to the palm of your hand. “You had me worried there.”
Christ, you didn’t think you could get any more flustered by this damn bartender.
Husk’s claws tease gently against your wrist, his thumb circling the place where your pulse hammers under your skin. You wonder if he can tell, if he can feel its drumbeat, but even as that thought brings a bead of panic into your chest, you don’t pull away.
“You good?” he asks, a baritone barely more than a murmur. The hotel is unusually quiet now that Angel’s gone to bed and even Niffty is no longer crawling around on the hunt for whatever pest she’d declared war on this week, and the silence seems to only make you more aware of the gentle rumble that sounds in the undertones of his voice. In the intimacy of the moment, it makes your mind wander to darker rooms and soft sheets, and you know that flush in your cheeks is growing darker. Husk still has this amused tilt to his lips, softening his features in a way that his usually sarcastic smirk doesn’t. “You still look like you’re about to bolt.”
You swallow, trying to steady your breathing before you reply.
“I’m okay,” you say, smiling through an exhale. “You just… caught me off guard.”
Husk chuckles quietly, lowering your hand to the bar. Your heart jumps into your throat as once again, he doesn’t let go, instead leaving his paw resting over the back of your hand. It’s a soft touch that seems to flirt with both innocent and intimate, and he does it casually, as though it’s a natural touch, thoughtless and uncalculated.
You wonder, if you turn your hand under his, would he let you intertwine your fingers with his?
Your hand doesn’t move.
“Been a long time since I’ve done that to anyone,” he tells you, voice still wonderfully low. He’s leaning over the bar now, not by much, but it still closes so much of the distance between the two of you.
“Since you ki… kissed their hand?” you ask, trying to keep your tone casual. From the way he looks at you, the soft, affectionate laugh he breathes out, you know you’ve failed. That warmth is reflected in his eyes, and it melts the very core of you.
“That too,” he smiles, claws curling around your fingers. He leans forward; something in his expression shifts, and your nerves suddenly rise up to wrap their clawing fingers around your heart. They tug, and you jerk back instinctively. Regret flares as a heat inside you as Husk’s eyes widen and he pulls away. “Shit, I’m—”
He looks fucking horrified with himself, and you stumble over an explanation, an apology, anything to get him to stop feeling that way.
“No! No, don’t… you didn’t do anything wrong, I just—” Husk moves as though he’s going to back away from the bar, to put a more respectable distance between the two of you, and the way his wings curl in against his shoulders, the way his ears fold back, God, it makes your chest tighten. You reach out instinctively, catching hold of his paw. Husk doesn’t pull away, but there’s something painful in his expression.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t—” he fumbles for the words for a moment. He lets out this huff of a laugh, short and low and self-deprecating. “Shoulda known, I jus’—”
“I wanted you to!” you blurt out, and your face burns with the admission, your voice a little too loud for the space between you. You lower it hurriedly, your gaze dropping to where your hand is clutching his wrist. “I wanted you to, I just… I panicked. I’m not…”
Husk studies you for a moment, a long moment, before he turns his wrist, pulling it gently out of your grip. But instead of withdrawing it, he curls his claws gently around your fingers, pressing the heart-shaped pad softly into your palm. He doesn’t say anything; he just watches you take a breath, find the words.
“I don’t… have a lot of experience,” you say hesitantly,  focusing on the way his hand looks so big, totally eclipsing yours. His touch is warm, and once again you’re stricken by just how soft his fur is.  “With… anything, really. I wasn’t… I think about kissing you all the time and I just know I’m going to fuck it up, and I—”
“You wanna repeat that for me, ducks?”
Husk’s voice is quiet, but it breaks through your rambling easy enough.
You glance up, taken aback by the interruption. “I—I said I was going to fuck it up. And I’m sorry for—”
Husk actually chuckles. It’s quiet, under his breath, but the sound is warm in a way that some part of you desperately hopes will become familiar despite the way it way its mocking claws into your heart, serrated and sharp. He picks a random bottle off the shelf, takes a drink.
But then he says: “No…”
He draws out the word in a lilting tone, pulling his paw out of your hand and rounds the bar to join you on the other side. Husk takes the barstool beside you; you’ve turned to face him as he’s moved, and when he sits down, his knees bump against yours. It’s a strange, new kind of intimacy, sitting like this, and those butterflies flutter  again.
“The other bit,” he continues, setting the bottle he still holds on the counter beside him. “Say that other bit again.”
“What oth—” realisation hits you, and a you can’t help a tentative smile of your own. “Oh. That.”
Husk’s lips quirk, his tail twitch back and forth by his ankle so the feathers tickle against your leg. “Can I hear it again?”
Is your blood ever going to return to the rest of your body?
“I…” you press your lips together for a moment, but they unfurl with a bashful smile. “I kinda think about kissing you sometimes.”
Husk’s own smile widens. “Sometimes?”
“Shut up,” you mumble, and when Husk rumbles a laugh you reach out to shove his shoulder. He catches your hand before you do, but instead of moving it away, he brings it up to rest on his shoulder. Your fingers curl automatically around his suspender, soft fur tickling at your fingertips. He trails his claws down your arm, and your breath hitches as they move lower, smoothing over your ribs and down to your waist. “Husk…?”
“’m givin’ you the greenlight, ducks,” he says. Your resurfacing nerves must reflect in your expression, because he smirks softly, squeezing your waist reassuringly. “So, no need to fret, alright?”
You nod, your mouth suddenly feeling very dry. You stroke your fingers shakily through the fur of his shoulder, meet his eye, then drop your gaze again as you lose your nerve. Husk snickers and rolls his eyes, reaching out to carefully cup your face in his hand.
He leans in, and this time you don’t pull away, closing your eyes as Husk’s lips meet yours in a careful, hesitant kiss.
send me a prompt and either husk or blitzø
49 notes · View notes
vespidclan · 1 day ago
Note
There's something i don't understand, and while i waited to see, it seems like the comic isn't gonna explain it
How did Snake understand any of that digital stuff at all, when the cats don'teven know whatcars are? She just saw what looks like a floating wall painting of her
Did 404 "mentally" blast her with the knowledge of human technology and what coding is when she showed her her sprite? By messing with the coding of her memory/knowledge ?
Did seeing her sprite unlock a sort of self awareness that immediately made her understood what she was, because the possibility of being aware is always accessible dur to her literally being code?
Hope i don't sound accusatory or mean, tone is hard through text ^^". Genuine question from being eager about learning lore and worldbuilding and trying to understand
Making a "realise it's all a video game" story with characters/species who don't even know what basic technology is seems really tough, and I'm really curious on how you made it work 👀
Also, how much does snake know? Does she think only her clan is fake coding, and the rest of the world is normal. Or does she know that her kithood is made up memories and the entire world is just as fake?
This is a very good question!!! I’ve had to go through a similar thought process with the whole “how would cats understand the concept of being in a game?” and I got it down to this;
Cats in real life don’t have a sense of self, but cats in warrior cats (and in Clangen overall) do, this helps me give them ‘human’ personalities that we can relate and understand to. And while they don’t know things like coding, files, and anything technical, they understand that there are things they cannot ever understand.
I take inspiration from H. P. Lovecraft’s work, and this excerpt from The Call Of Cthulhu perfectly sums up what I’m trying to explain
Tumblr media
404 doesn’t just give Snake a blank, lifeless reflection of what she truly is; within the morse code, she tells her something that she shouldn’t know. Something that is beyond her level of understanding as both a cat and as a living organism, and along with that was proof of it all—the subliminal incarnation of herself.
If you were to explain to a cat in the warriors series about programming and compare it to their own way of living, they would find it so bizarre that they would see it as almost otherworldy and nonsensical. Similar to how there are some concepts within our reality that we cannot fathom; things like these are ideas that shouldn’t be found and don’t need to be found in our lifetime. Even if it was something familiar to us like in this sense, being in a simulation as digital characters, it would still be something completely unbelievable to imagine
The very moment Snakevalley was told the truth, through lines of numbers and script, from the bare autonomy that builds up her world and existence, that everything she breathes in was never organic, it shattered her.
Again, thank you for this really great question! I love answering stuff like these, really glad I’m able to explain a little bit on my thought process of how things work :D
36 notes · View notes
howlsofbloodhounds · 2 days ago
Note
writing a story that will include Killer and Color in it (not the main focus but I love their dynamic with how dedicated I’ve seen you and others talk about them) and I want to get their characters right without accidentally tripping up. So I’m here to ask for advice!!
I was thinking that I will have two Killers in my story. The original Killer who escaped Nightmare and the one who’s under Nightmare’s control. Color ofc caring about both of them and wanting to rescue the one under Nightmare’s influence.
How would you say the first Killer would feel when Color does eventually help the new Killer escape Nightmare? And how would the two react when Color moves in the second with him? Could you give me some pointers or ideas?
Some extra info I have in mind is the second Killer will have a missing arm due to tanking a fatal hit for Color (this said fight also being the one that Nightmare lets go of his control and manipulation on Killer due to taking a fatal hit himself and sort of vanishing. But he’s not the main focus as he’ll be gone for quite a bit). The first, original Killer has been free for years with Color and has smoothly integrated himself somewhat back into society under peaceful terms. If it can be called peaceful considering he may face discrimination due to simply being a Killer variant. Mistrust, y’know?
Mainly looking for some pointers on how the three would react to each other or the rest of the Chromatic team (Delta, Epic, Cross…). Thank you in advance!
Ooh I love when people tell me about their projects and fics. I hope you’re having fun writing.
As for tips and everything, I’ll try to stay somewhat broad and just ask some questions that are hopefully helpful for you, because there’s many different factors in things like this—and at the end of the day, this is just my interpretations, thoughts and ideas, and this is your fic and your story. You are free to take and leave whatever I have to say at your own will, if anything at all, if you do or don’t want to.
There’s mainly like, a few big things that would probably needed to be considered in this situation and that is:
1. Is the 1st Killer aware that Color wants to help and save the 2nd Killer, and is he aware that the 2nd Killer is staying with them? Is the 2nd Killer aware of the 1st Killer and the rest of the Chromatic Crew? Is this a conversation that was had prior, was it a spur of the moment thing, etc? Was there any time to prepare?
2. What are the similarities and differences between the two Killers? They are both Killer of course, but how exactly are they different and in what ways; what was their experiences with their humans and Nightmare like? What was the 2nd Killer’s relationships with them like? How did the actions by Color and the 1st Killer effect the 2nd Killer, considering that is 1’s replacement, and 2 would have to be dealing with the consequences of another’s actions and choices?
3. Does the 2nd Killer actually trust Color, or does he feel like he has no choice but to be there because Nightmare is gone and no one else will have him? Is this a version of a Killer who feels discarded and useless so early on, that he thinks he’ll be useful for Color? Or that Color will be useful for him, if this version is particularly loyal or attached to Nightmare, or even just more self serving or self interested in some way?
4. How has the 1st Killer’s healing been going exactly? What has he unlearned or learned in all these years, and how has he changed? If the presence of a 2nd Killer were to send the 1st Killer back in a few steps in recovery, what would that look like? What would this Killer regressing or progressing look like, and what would be the things either from the 2nd Killer himself or the things the 2nd Killer does/says that reminds the 1st of/makes the 1st remember something that sends him backwards?
5. Conditioning/training. How was that similar and different for the both of them, how did the 1st Killer leaving Nightmare effect the training that the 2nd Killer was put through, and how does that effect the 2nd Killer’s views and opinions of other Killer variants and maybe even Color himself? How far along has the 1st Killer gotten in his deconditioning, and how conditioned was the 2nd Killer by the time Nightmare disappeared? Was the 2nd Killer led to believe certain things about Color?
6. How did the 2nd Killer meet Nightmare? Or to be more accurate, how does the 2nd Killer understand his first meeting with Nightmare—regardless of how true or accurate it may or may not be—and how does that affect his views of and relationship with NM, and how he views his job under Nightmare, and by extension—how does this 2nd Killer understand his place and reputation in the Multiverse? Feared, pitied, just another cheap replacement? Did other people attempt to help him before Color, given that there was a previous successfully saved Killer?
And there’s probably more and I don’t know if that was helpful at all, but that’s what I got in general for rn. Maybe something more specific eventually.
23 notes · View notes
curiosity-killed · 7 months ago
Text
Not to sound like an angry old man but one of the things that bothers me most both when I’m teaching my kiddos and when I’m in class with adult beginners is that like there is etiquette in ballet class that’s just archaic and shitty, there’s etiquette in ballet that’s just about courtesy/tradition, and then there’s etiquette that’s there for safety
And ppl tend to pick up on the second pretty quickly both as kids and adults—like thanking the teacher/pianist, being quiet when the teacher is talking, etc.—but they’re really bad at the third category, which is imo the most important
And like obv some of that is because they haven’t been taught but, frankly, a lot of ballet etiquette is learned through observation—noticing that, hey, if all the experienced dancers are starting this combination from the corner in the same formation, maybe I should, too. But people (both kids and adults!) just…don’t seem to pay very much attention to that side of things?? Even though it can literally save you from or give you a broken ankle depending on if you’re doing it correctly or not??
And I get that when you’re focusing really hard on understanding the steps or combination, less of your mind is on spacing/not getting tackled by your neighbor—but people (mostly adults for this one) get like kind of uppity about it?? When they’re? Wrong???
12 notes · View notes
apollo-zero-one · 10 months ago
Text
Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
6 notes · View notes
viir-tanadhal · 2 years ago
Text
i was going to post about this but then forgot but anyway i feel like it really is the case that the reason neil and chris have been still going for over 40 years and haven't had a major falling out or break is because of the nature of how much they respect each other both on a personal level and also a working partnership level
#i think the moment it clicked for me as to why theyve been together for so long is how tom watkins tried to tell neil to go solo#because he was convinced chris didnt do or contribute anything because he thought chris was just neil's bf#which is like a Whole other thing#but neil was very firm on not going solo and ditching chris and standing up for him and pointing out all of the major stuff chris does#and that neil is very self-aware that he probably couldnt be successful on his own and that chris is an integral part of the group#that really comes across with how much he will flat out say something was chris' idea even when chris is embarrassed by it#the other thing is neither of them have ever had an ego. the only circumstances is maybe when chris would get upset not being filmed#w/ the tonight show debacle that was v clearly he was in the right to be upset they wouldnt film him as if he wasnt the other member#and then that stuart price quote where he talked about how he's seen them get into arguments and disagreements over stuff#but they work through it in a way that they clearly respect the other's opinion and dont take it personally#not to mention the multiple rough personal events theyve gone through throughout their career#looping back to the ego thing the other thing is they recognize that their knowledge complements the other#like neil having never considered a bassline before meeting chris and realizing how important it was#they both bring something to the table that the other can't or can't do well#ig long story short theyve succeeded in having a long career because of the level of mutual respect in their relationship#and that they know how to communicate and work through conflicts when they happen#and at the end of the day making music together is something they enjoy and get pleasure from whether they release the music or not#they even kind of mention it in the reel stories ep with neil making sure chris speaks his opinion in interviews#i really like that he's mindful of that and is conscious of not dominating the conversation and letting chris speak#its just nice to see idk psb wouldnt fully work if they didnt have such a strong relationship#also last i promise it helps that neither of them have kids or been married so no hiatuses because of family and stuff#i mean theyve both been in relationships and given idk too much detail it seems like they made it work out#i guess i mean with neil and his 90s relationships i should say#yeah ok thats my last point hamsndndns sorry thanks if u made it this far i have a lot of thoughts
6 notes · View notes
basketcase1982 · 2 years ago
Text
at a radiohead concert and my edibles hit and i started scrolling through my spotify mix reallllllly slowly and just imagining all the better songs i could be listening to
4 notes · View notes
romantically-yours · 9 months ago
Text
Thinking about that time in 6th when me and my friend at the time were just casually talking about how oh when we grow up we should just move to the French countryside together
#thoughts#oni talks#the closet was glass lmao#but also I have no memory for the context of the convo anymore but also it’s so specific and romantic for what??? we were just friends#this was just a random memory that popped up coz nostalgia brain? I remember she also made me a poster of artists I said I liked or thought#we’re okay (I was very weird/unsocialized at the time) and that was like the only poster I had on my wall iirc#omg I just realized something another memory I forgot she once put like a little ask out/confession note in my locker coz I was like#I don’t completely remember but I think I had been talking about how no one was interested in me or smth? but I like instantly recognized it#was hers? and called her out on it coz I thought at the time she was just trying to make me feel better but w/ hindsight#now I don’t think this was the case but if that was actually a confession oh my god my reaction would be so cursed#she was always talking about boys tho so pretty sure she was straight though our other friend at the time I’m fairly certain was gay#but I never knew for certain. Anyway it’s just wild looking back on old friendships like that now that I’m like older and out like#what in the hell was going on over there?? that isn’t even the weirdest gay childhood story shit that’s like how was I not out sooner lmao#that being said I may be older and out but god damn is the social stuff still hard as fuck#especially trying to make more queer friends or find a partner like why does it have to be so awkward & also I s2g#in the moment I never recognize anything but like way later I’ll mention it & bestie will just be like bro… thats flirting…#or I’ll wonder it later but even then it’s like my brain stalls like wtf do you even do#oni vents#tagging it that coz it’s more of a vent at the end coz wow sapphic self awareness may have improved but not by much god damn
1 note · View note
confusedsiewmai · 9 months ago
Text
-
#vent#negativity#i wish i was less bitter and full of hate and anger and frustration#i wish i never felt angry at all#i wish i can never raise my voice#i wish i can notice when im raising my voice and scaring ppl#i wish i had more self awareness to realise that im being mean and judgemental and scary#i wish i werent argumentative and stubborn#i wish i can go back to when i was 16 and genuinely thought i was a bad person and therefore every bad thing i do is just status quo#im so sick and tired of trying to improve as a person because i honestly feel like im getting worse and it makes me so scared knowing that#at least if i were sure of being a bad person again i wont feel this much anxiety and hurt over accidentally being a dick#god i wish i were still convinced i were a bad person then at least id think killing myself would actually solve things#idk anymore im just so sick and tired of being a human being who just wants to be loved but never feels loved because of learned self hatred#or at least i think its learned. if im just misinterpreting things then welp lollllllll i guess im just meant to hate myself then#im so sick and tired of being scared and waiting for the moment when people would just.... reject me completely and disown me#why do i have this fear since i was fucking 8 what fucking world is this that at 8 years old i was this fucking scared of being disowned#now im just waiting for my friends and the guy im currently talking to to just......... fucking stab me or some shit idk
0 notes
bomber-grl · 2 days ago
Note
can you do a Leo Valdez x son of khione reader??? (like a jack frost-esque reader??)
Tumblr media
Leo Valdez x Son of Khione ❄️
Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x M!Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
When you and Leo initially meet, he doesn’t think much of you since you’re both most likely running away from what would have been your doom.
Despite how much chemistry you two seemed to have at the moment, you still seemed rather distant, and dare I say, cold.
Leo just doesn’t care about that and since you’re likely friends with some of his friends, he tries. He also isn’t aware of subtle things like when you don’t seem to mind the fuckass cold temperature. Blud assumes you're Elsa and moves on.
He seriously doesn’t register that you’re a child of Khione despite how the temperature tends to drop around you, your dislike for anything “hot”, your cold gaze, and your equally frozen heart.
In fact, he only realizes it when someone mentions it. Like if they acknowledge that you prefer colder weather or anything of the sort in front of him, then add something along the lines of you being a walking stereotype.
He’s suddenly intrigued and tries to find out why. Eventually, he gets his answer and he’s shocked. Just a bit. I mean it’s sort of awkward knowing that he flirted with your mom but aside from that it all tracks.
He wonders what your mortal parent is like, because safe to say that their DNA didn’t stand a chance against Khione’s warm personality.
Despite the fact that he eventually grows to dislike you (immensely) for being a total dick, the idiot just ends up falling for you anyway.
This results in Leo being overly cautious about your compatibility, I mean he still hides it behind humor but that doesn’t make his concern any less real. What would actually being together ensue?
He’s held your hand before (albeit accidentally) and safe to say that your hands are as cold as an actual ice block. He could’ve sworn he was getting an ice burn.
Not to mention how you seemed startled by how warm he was. The shock on your face almost punched a laugh out of him and hopefully, it’d be the last time because his fake cough can only fool you so many times.
His sudden awareness doesn’t mean he dislikes you any less (oddly enough.) But it does make him infinitely more foolish. As if he isn’t already.
He becomes hyper-self-aware and this ends up being his demise. He’d be walking somewhere, accidentally spot you, and somehow end up tripping on a rock and rolling down a hill. He ends up concluding that the universe just hates him.
Eventually, though, an invisible string pulls you two closer than ever when you fall extremely ill. It was a shock across camp. You typically were immune to the cold and even found solace in laying in it. You had never gotten sick, ever. Especially if it was brought on by the cold weather.
Just absolutely unheard of.
When medics from the Apollo cabin were made aware of it, they did their best to help but it was a matter of waiting it out. You were left to rot away in bed, in your newly built cabin filled with absolute boredom.
Leo felt bad, surprisingly. He had heard about it after he spent all evening searching for you and he ended up becoming a victim. He was passing by the Dining Pavillion when a medic he was familiar with shoved a plate into his hands and ordered him to deliver it to you if he was going to pass by your cabin.
He wasn't.
Or at least, he wasn’t planning to. Then he suddenly found himself outside your cabin, knocking and then hearing a distant and very stuffy “Come in.”
He takes that as his cue and comes in. The minute he enters, he feels a distinct difference from the outside to inside your cabin as the temperature drops drastically, in fact, he swears he sees some icicles on your window.
He can’t help but find it cute that you’re startled by his presence and react by pulling the blanket up over half your face. Then, he verbally berates himself for even having such a thought. Stiffly, he sets down the plate filled with food that he can only assume are your favorites before shrugging and preparing to leave.
The day so far has been rather warm (partially because of the magical globe around the camp) but a sudden chill ran up his spine when he felt an icy cold hand grip his own. Your face was mostly covered by the blanket you clung onto and his movement was limited with you holding him in place, but from what he could see you…were blushing???
He was genuinely shocked and stood there standing like an idiot. In fact, it wasn’t until you called him one straight up that he sort of snapped out of it. Then came the cherry on top of the mountain of things he knew no one would ever believe if he told them.
You, of all people, asked him to lay down next to you. In fact, you even moved back a bit to give him room to join you. Forget the food he brought for you, you seemed ready to dig into dessert.
The situation seemed to have caught up to him and his face flushed so intensely that he could’ve sworn he saw you flinch away. He shook off his shyness as best he could, took his shoes off, and slipped in under the covers next to you.
It was common knowledge that blankets trapped your body heat, basically creating a warm little abode while you slept. You? It was like you were cold-blooded. The instant he went under the blanket, he didn’t feel any difference and if anything, the experience was akin to torture.
He was freezing his ass off since you didn’t seem to be able to warm yourself up. He realized that he fell into your trap since he gets the short end of the stick while you’re gradually growing closer and closer to him.
As odd as it seemed, he felt like he was a heater to some needy reptile. He isn’t completely devoid of empathy (like *CoUgh Cough* someone) and was nice enough to stay there. If anything it felt like he was cuddling one of those Ground beef packets that they sell at supermarkets.
You, however, seemed to have been enjoying yourself and then he suddenly spoke up, confused about it all. “Didn’t you say that you hated hot stuff?” You seemed amused and responded with, “You’re not hot”
In contrast, he was NOT amused. He sort of deadpanned at you until you told him. Then ensued a heart-to-heart about how you were afraid of getting closer to someone so opposite to you. It was unfamiliar and you were not ready to walk those unpaved roads. He understood, you understood why that was a terrible way to think and so he ended up leaving your cabin about three hours later after you managed to fall asleep.
(He’ll never understand how you managed to in that igloo of a cabin)
It was a bit awkward in the “I know you like me and I like you” way the day after and you both ended up just getting together. Teasing is inevitable and some campers even went as far as saying that it's giving enemies to lovers, opposites attract addition.
Leo never lets that go)
I know Leo seemed to dislike your coldness but during the summer is where he appreciates it the most. Sure, you burn up the most during summer and tend to push away his clingy self for your own sake of not sweating up a storm with a human heater by your side. But, he also likes using your powers too.
Sometimes when you’re not at camp he’ll ask if you could give him some ice in his cup or even bring your hands to his cheeks and forehead when he's been working and sweaty. He looks super cute, but also… gross.
There's some challenges in your relationships and most notably when you’re fighting (?) monsters together.
The second time wasn't great, mostly because he’d melt your ice and the cold blasts you’d shoot out would put out his fire. You two had to really get into each other's head and tell what the other was planning in order to get it to work out.
Which you both did. Leo loves you. That's a fact but if you put your cold ass feet on him again-
22 notes · View notes
imawreck · 2 months ago
Text
His
Pairing: Winter Soldier x Reader
Summary: You and Bucky broke up a few months ago against your wishes, and you’d been trying to move on. When Bucky sees you flirting with another member of the team, he leaves for the next mission to avoid getting in your way. Unfortunately, the mission goes bad, and Bucky isn’t himself when he comes back. He also has a lot to say…
Author’s Note: I realize that in most of my fics Thor is the other romantic interest/situationship, but you CANT tell me that man wouldn’t flirt up a storm with a beautiful woman any chance he got. Also, this is my first smutty fic so feedback and comments would be much appreciated! This is on the more explicit side, so please read with caution.
Warnings: Cursing, mentions self loathing/guilt (it’s Bucky, kinda normal), choking kink, Possessive!Winter Soldier, flashbacks, hair pulling, fingering, metal arm kink, dominant!winter soldier, probably some more but those are the big ones.
Word Count: 4,850
Breakups are ugly most of the time, and almost always one sided.
You and Bucky had been apart for at least three months. You’d stopped counting, wanting to forget it and focus on anything else. It was easier that way, to ignore the heartbreak and clutter up your life with other things to do.
Unfortunately, you still lived in the same tower on the same floor, right across from one another. He was constantly around, and no mattered how hard you tried, you just couldn’t avoid him.
It was hell.
And it was only hell because Bucky hardly gave you a good reason for the break up. Sure, you had your arguments. Mostly about his past and how much better he thought you deserved, to which you’d list all the reasons he was wrong. In reality, those weren’t really arguments. It was just Bucky having a low point, which you were more than willing to help him work through. Outside of those moments, you had felt that your relationship with Bucky was near perfect.
So when he had come back from a mission and broke up with you, his only reason being ‘I can’t be with you,’ it’d been a slap to the face. Like someone had shoved a knife in your heart and twisted.
The worst part was that he wouldn’t even allow you the chance to talk to him afterwards. Every time you were in the same room together alone, he’d find every reason not to speak with you.
So, you’d taken the hint and were now trying to figure out a way to move on.
That was made a little easier when a certain God of Thunder made his interest known to you. Thor was sweet, charming, and a little goofy. Not to mention handsome, with his blonde hair and sky blue eyes.
He’d made an effort to woo you not long after you’d parted from Bucky, and you’d informed him that the breakup was hard for you and that you couldn’t really do something new right now. Thor had been surprisingly understanding, and even took to just being friends quite well. Granted, he was still flirty, but he knew where you both stood and was always happy to lend an ear when you needed one.
He turned out to be just the friend you needed.
From the outside looking in, none of the others thought it was ‘just friends,’ especially when Thor would openly show his interest in you. Especially to a certain Super Soldier.
Bucky was painfully aware of what was going on between you and Thor even though he desperately tried not to be.
His super hearing picked up on the soft laughter you and the god would share, on the hushed whispers you’d exchange late over a mug of coffee when you thought everyone was asleep. His every fiber was attuned to you, and he couldn’t help but fixate on your presence.
You were like gravity to him, and he always found himself near you when he knew he should be as far as humanly possible. He saw the little looks you shared when Thor would compliment you, noticed your shy smile when the god would enter the room. He could tell that Thor was winning you over slowly but surely.
He couldn’t fucking stand it.
So it wasn’t a big surprise when he shipped off on the next mission possible.
You worried, your heart still set on loving him, but you tried to pay it little mind. And after a few days, it actually helped. You felt better, found yourself smiling more. You were beginning to move forward.
That was, until the jet was reported missing. Then Bucky was all anyone could talk about in the tower.
Thor tried his best to keep you in the dark about most of what was going on, and it wasn’t hard seeing as you were just a rather good strategist and not a serious Avenger. You were only really included in skimming over preplanned attacks and making sure they hadn’t missed anything critical.
But word still spread, and worry was ever present.
Needless to say, it was very strange when Mr. Stark called you into a private meeting with himself and two other of the elite team.
“Y/N,” He spoke softly in the kind of tone that lets you know that whatever he says next is going to ruin your whole week. “There’s a situation with Barnes.”
You frowned, eyebrows scrunching at him from where you sat at the rather empty end of the long black table. “I’m confused. Bucky and I broke up months ago. Why are you talking to me about it?”
Steve, who you’d befriended while dating his best pal, looked at you with poorly concealed pity from his seat next to Stark. “Because we know he still means a lot to you and that you’re our best hope in this situation.”
That didn’t make you feel better about whatever was going on at all. “What do you mean ‘this situation?’” You eyed them both, before dragging your eyes over to Doctor Banner who hadn’t done much more than stare at you with a concerned expression bordering on panic.
Stark pressed his fingers to his forehead, “Barnes got triggered on his mission and has infiltrated the tower. We have reason to believe he’s after you.”
You gaped at him. That didn’t make any sense. You weren’t important, at least not as important as one of The Avengers. “Me? Why me?”
“We’ve silently shut the building down and we’re working on evacuating the floors without anyone freaking out.” Tony went on, ignoring your questions, “He doesn’t know that we’re aware he’s here, and we’re trying to keep it that way.” Tony motioned towards a monitor, and the image of Bucky popped up on the screen.
Only he was in your room, and he was dragging his fingers over the picture of the two of you that was perched on the nightstand. They way his fingers smoothed over the glass, the slight pinch in his brows as if calculating instead of recalling. It was like he’d never seen it before in his life. Like he had no connection to the image of himself.
It was a picture he had taken, his arm extended and a smile on his face with your lips pressed to his cheek. You had meant to take it down and stuff it in the box under your bed with all the other memories you had hid from sight, but it was just too painful. You needed something to hold onto.
You watched through the screen as he moved around your room, taking note of certain things and taking careful precautions to ensure that anything he moved was set right back in place. It was eerie to watch a man who was once so comfortable in your space tread with so much hesitance. Like it was the first time he’d been in the space all over again.
“Y/N.” It was Steve’s gentle timbre that brought your attention away from the screen this time. He tried to smile, though it was clearly forced. “We need you to lure him down towards the lower levels. We have to get him to a room where we can better contain him. If he finds out we know he’s back and not… him, then he could snap.”
“You want to use me as bait? For the Winter Soldier?” You stared at them both with wide eyes, panic blooming in your chest. “This is insane!”
Steve sighed, “Y/N… Bucky told me about the incident that happened in the beginning of your relationship.”
Your attention zeroed in on the blonde’s words, your breath hitching.
“He told me what could’ve happened… and what didn’t.”
You walked down the corridor of the Stark tower office floor heading back towards your desk from a late night research meeting with a few of your coworkers. You had decided to stay later than the others so that you could collect and organize the information you needed for the meeting with Mr. Stark the following morning. It was very late, and you were tired, the heels you wore had begun to irritate the soles of your feet hours before.
You clutched the files you collected in your arms, heels clicking on the glossy floors and echoing into the dimly lit corridor. So dim that you didn't see the silhouette of the man standing just feet from you until it was too late.
You only saw a flash of silver before the door beside you was torn open and you were roughly shoved inside. Cleaning supplies clattered onto the floor, spilling liquids over your feet as you cried out. A hand clamped over your mouth, and your head hit the wall with a thunk.
Stormy blue eyes stared at you, cold and unfeeling. Eyes you had seen just days before smiling at you and filled with life.
Your lips moved to say his name against the cool metal of his hand, but his grip on your face was nearly bruising. You could only stare back in fear and attempt to press your body further from him.
He didn't speak, only stared at you and kicked the door to the closet shut.
Fear was a living thing in your stomach, writhing as his eyes snaked down to your red heels and back up again. His head tilted to the side, as if he was trying to remember something. But his eyes remained cold and unrelentingly empty. His flesh hand came up to press a finger threateningly to his lips.
‘Quiet.’
You weren't stupid enough to scream, not with the way he was looking at you, with how close he was. When he removed his hand, you did exactly as he wanted. Silence hung in the small closet, suffocating you. Would he kill you? What did he want? Why hadn't he killed you already?
The cool metal of his palm slipped further down, wrapping around your throat and pressing against your thundering pulse. Your head pounded along with it, and a foggy feeling settled over your mind.
But your lungs still filled with air, and you remained aware. The pressure of his hand was ever present, but it was light enough not to cause real damage... Almost like he didn't want to hurt you.
His tongue darted out to lick his lips, the movement catching your eyes. His body leaned forward, his nose pressing into your neck and his warm breath hitting your skin. Goosebumps rose in its wake, and that lick of fear heightened again. He was acting so strangely, and the longer it went on the more unsettling it was.
When he pulled away, there was a heat in his eyes that wasn’t there before. A hunger, and… and recognition.
“Hello, Beloved.”
“We know that he didn’t hurt you, and that he displayed… certain feelings towards you.” Steve’s voice brought you out of the memory, dragging you back to the reality at hand.
The one where he wants you to put yourself smack dab in the path of the Winter Soldier.
“You’re serious about this?” You blink up at him, trying to gauge if he was joking or not. Level headed as Steve was, you trusted him with your life. But this? This was terrifying and completely unexpected. Ridiculously dangerous.
“It’s the only nonviolent way we can think of. And we’re almost certain there’s no high risk for you.” Steve tried to give you a reassuring smile, tried to hide the hint of unease that shone in his tense shoulders.
“You’ve all lost your mind.” You laugh, sighing and raising your chin. “Okay, I’ll do it.”
Apparently, so had you.
You stared at the metal doors of the elevator, your heart pounding with each toll of the floors passing. This was probably—no, was— the riskiest thing you’d ever done in your life. You trusted Steve and Mr. Stark, but your brain was trained to find the flaws in plans like this. And so many things could go wrong.
“It’s okay, Y/N.” Steve said calmly into your ear, startling you. You’d forgotten they’d given you the earpiece. “I’ll be here the entire time. I’ll guide you through the compound and make sure you stay out of danger.”
You nodded, even though you weren’t sure if they could see you.
“Bucky is leaving your room. We’re going to drop you off in the commons area of your floor. All you have to do is make some noise and then head for the stairwell. Just listen to me, and I’ll get you through this.” Steve sounded so confident in your ear, but it did little to soothe the nerves.
The elevator leveled out, and the doors quietly opened. The large living room opened up before you, unnervingly bright and welcoming despite the danger you knew lurked just down the hall. You stepped out onto the carpet, walking towards the kitchen. Your palms sweat, heart pounding, as you made your way up to the cabinets.
You just had to make some noise. Easy, right?
But your body wouldn’t move.
“Y/N.” Steve’s voice called in your ear again, gently coaxing you from where he watched the cameras. “Make some noise, and then head for the stairs.”
You swallowed, nodding again, and reached with shaky hands towards the cabinet. You grabbed a bowl, and hesitantly set it down on the granite counter. The echoing pok of the ceramic felt too loud in your ears, like a gunshot.
“Good, now move quickly. He’s just down the hall headed your way.”
The words sent a chill down your spine… and something else followed. Something you’d never felt before.
You headed towards the stairs, but your feet felt like lead weights. Like you couldn’t move fast enough even though you knew you were going as fast as you could.
But you could hear the faintest scuff of boots coming behind you and the sound sent your heart into a frenzy.
You raced down the stairs, tripping a few times before righting yourself and continuing your decent down towards the lower levels. Your floor was four levels up from ground level, which meant you had six floors in total to descend before you could get to the containment floor.
Six flights of stairs being chased by The Winter Soldier. A superhuman man who was definitely faster than you, and probably wanted to do something terrible to you. Like a wolf hunting a sheep.
Oh God.
The thought only served to spur the panic rising in you. You kicked up your speed when the door slammed behind you, footsteps pounding after you as the dark silhouette of Bucky Barnes rounded the stairs two flights above.
He took the stairs four at a time, his long legs swallowing up the distance between you. The panic clawed its way up your throat in a strangled cry, and the sound just seemed to quicken his pace.
“I’m not fast enough!” You tried to keep your voice even, tried to keep it quiet in the echoing stairwell so that the soldier behind you would hear.
“You’re almost there, Y/N. Just keep up the pace. Two flights left and—“ but he didn’t get to finish his sentence.
You watched in shocked horror as Bucky’s figure leapt over the railing and plummeted towards the ground. He dropped several flights before his arm snapped out and wrapped around the railing. The sound of metal hitting metal rang out around you as the railing dipped under the crushing pressure.
He hauled himself back onto the stairs just before you. Those cold eyes found yours, dark hair framing sharp features, painting him into something primal. Something wild.
That feeling pounded through you again, skittering along your spine and raising the hairs on the back of your neck. You still couldn’t place it, not with him stepping towards you with a look that promised violence.
You heard Steve’s voice ordering something over the earpiece, but it was distant. It became clearer a moment later. “We’ve got a team heading in. Just… just hang in there.”
You swallowed, but your throat had gone dry in the presence of the assassin before you. His eyes held you in place as his towering form finally stopped a stair below you, leveling with you face to face. So close you could count the stitches in the Kevlar of his suit.
You felt your body shaking, heard your heart thundering in your ears as your chest rose and fell with each short breath you managed to drag into your lungs.
And he watched every move you made.
His head titled to the side exactly like it’d done the first time you’d been trapped with him. His gaze never left you, eyes wandering over your face and heaving chest before that faint look of recognition settled into those hollow eyes.
And then that heat you’d seen before consumed them.
He stepped forward, and you answered with a step back. For each one he took, you pedaled backwards until your body was plastered against the wall. When you tried to flee back up the stairs, his metal hand planted itself against the wall inches from your head.
You were utterly trapped.
Rough Russian left his lips in the softest whisper. The sound was the same as you’d heart him say before, though you didn’t understand it.
Not until now, as the earpiece Steve had given you translated his words as he spoke them.
“Hello again, Beloved.”
Those blue eyes bored into yours, as his other hand came up to brush your cheek with a gentleness you didn’t think he was capable of.
“He’s kept me from you for so long.” Bucky’s body leaned forward, caging you against the wall. His metal hand remained pressed against the wall beside you, and the other dragged across the skin of your neck and shoulder in an almost reverent manner.
Bucky’s— no, this wasn’t Bucky. This was the part of Bucky he kept farthest from you. This was a man known for cruel, unimaginable violence. An assassin known by reputation around the world by both hero and criminal alike and feared by all. This was the Winter Soldier.
Winters lips brushed your jaw, stubble tickling the column of your throat as his voice rumbled against your skin. “Kept you to himself. Never let me touch you. Worried I’d damage you, Beloved. Couldn’t see you needed me.”
His teeth nipped at your skin, and a shiver rolled down your spine in answer. That feeling tugged at your mind again, spurred by his words. But still, you couldn’t place it. Not with your mind consumed by his statements and barely contained yearning.
When his head lifted to find your eyes again, the fingers of his right hand tangled themselves in your hair and pulled hard enough to have your scalp stinging. His next words were guttural and biting, “And then he let you go.”
Winters grip loosened a bit, but his hold on your hair remained. “He pushed you away, and then that god tries to take you from me?” His eyes held you, demanding your utter attention as his head shook slowly, “You don’t belong to him.”
Tugging your lip between your teeth, you clenched your eyes shut. God, you wished Bucky would say that to you. Having Winter here saying these words with Bucky’s voice, Bucky’s face. Touching you with familiar hands…
Heat had begun to pool low in your belly.
The words were spoken in English. “Open your eyes.”
There was no room for objection in his voice, so you did as he said. With his jaw was set in an angry line, and those blue eyes boring into your soul, he leaned in closer. “He thinks that being with you is too dangerous, that you aren’t safe with… with us.”
“What?” Your heart hammered in your chest at his words. It was the first real reason as to why Bucky had broken up with you.
Those silvery blue eyes zeroed on your lips as he spoke again. “He thinks we can’t protect you, that I’ll hurt you. That somehow being further from you keeps you safe from what comes with being what we are.” His metal hand left the wall in favor of brushing over your lower lip and trailing the cool tips of his fingers down to the dip of your breasts and back up to the column of your throat. “I’d never hurt you, not the way he has. Not if you didn’t want it.”
“W-what do you mean?” You just knew he was picking up on how your heart beat harder as his fingers trailed over your skin. Or the way you kept shifting on your feet to stave off the heat thrumming in your veins with an all too familiar want blooming and begging for his hands to explore more.
The faintest hint of a smile graced his face as he gave your hair another gentle tug, then loosened his grip once more. “You like this. I’ve seen how you react with him. How you quietly treasure the marks he leaves on your skin even when he feels nothing but guilt.” That metal hand slipped over your throat again and pressed on your neck exactly as he’d done the first time you’d seen Winter. Your head spun at the pressure, but you could breathe easily under the cool press of his palm as he leaned in, lips brushing your ear as he whispered. “I see how badly you wish he’d touch you with this hand,” he squeezed your neck and loosened it quickly, “How badly you want those marks. How badly you need me.”
You had no words. Nothing to say as he wrung out the truth you’d thought was hidden from him— from Bucky.
Bucky was notorious for avoiding any situation that would make him use the metal arm. He would much rather let it hang there, or act as if he didn’t have it at all. That included when the two of you would get intimate. He never dared to bring it anywhere near you no matter how many times you’d reminded him it was fine, that you weren’t afraid of it. He outright refused to allow it to touch your delicate skin, to let such a catalyst for agony so close to something as precious as you.
Winter knew that you’d secretly craved to feel the cold metal in contrast to his warm skin when he held you. He knew that you would always find it more satisfying when Bucky would lose himself and get rough with you when things got heated. How his flesh hand would leave bruises on your thighs or hips to keep you steady as he thrust himself deeper.
Just the thought had you aching, and here was Bucky’s darker half offering you everything you’d ever wanted.
You were losing your fucking mind.
“You’re wrong,” you whispered, but the words were flimsy and meaningless. He knew the truth, but that didn’t mean you had to say it aloud.
His metal fingers dug into your jaw, his grip near bruising as he tilted your head up to level your eyes with his. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Dollface.” His lips were a hairs-width away, his warm breath fanning over your face.
The scent of him was intoxicating, muddling your mind even further with heady leather and metal invading your nose. The hint of that aftershave you’d missed so much since Bucky broke your heart.
Winter was tearing you apart at the seams.
“Please,” you whispered. Please what? You didn’t know. You could hardly think straight. That feeling was so strong, thrumming along with your pulse and the ache for something. Anything.
“Tell me I’m right.” He mumbled against your skin. Soft lips, a vast contrast to his rough demeanor, to the calloused hand that remained tangled in your hair, trailed down your cheek. “Tell me that you want me. Not the pathetic excuse for a god, or him. That you want me.”
His metal hand released your face, drifting over your neck and dragging over the left side of your chest. He circled once, thumbing over your nipple with a knowing look filled with every sinful promise known to man.
And then he went lower and lower…
His fingers caught the waistband of your leggings, the chill of his fingers raised goosebumps across your stomach, only serving to worsen that burning need.
“Doll,” a command and a question wrapped in one word.
All you had to do was admit your darkest most guarded secret. Confess, and he would give you what you wanted most. What Bucky was too afraid to do.
You opened your mouth, the words tumbling out as he gave your hair another tug.
“I want you.”
That smirk grew just a fraction more, his fingers slipping past your waistband and toying with the hem of your panties.
Fuck, did you wish you’d gone commando today.
“Who am I?” He asked, teeth nipping down your neck hard enough to know they’d leave marks. “I want you to say it, Y/N.”
Those fingers slipped further, rolling over your aching clit in a teasing stroke before he pulled them away again.
If he wasn’t a literal assassin, you’d consider strangling him.
“For fucks sake,” you gripped his arm, your voice unfamiliar in your own ears, ragged and broken. “Winter, please.”
He didn’t waste time, deft, cool fingers dipping into your core with confidence. Soothing that aching heat.
Fuck.
His thumb circled slow as he pumped his fingers, his mouth leaving wet kisses along your jaw up to your lips where he paused long enough to catch a glimpse of your face. You knew you looked like an utter mess, but those blue eyes showed nothing but twisted delight. He leaned forward and tugged your bottom lip between his teeth, bitting hard enough to make you groan.
Winter’s answering grunt of approval urged you further towards the edge of oblivion those perfect metal fingers were working you towards.
God you were so close. Each movement, every touch and bruise he left on your skin pushing you closer and closer. Just a bit more, a fraction more and you’d—
His fingers wrenched away, gone in an instant.
Your eyes, closed from the pleasure just moments ago, snapped open just before the doors to the stairway above and below you burst open. Floods of agents filed through the doors, and a gun fired.
The sharp sound echoed in the confined space making you flinch. Winters back pressed you against the wall, a solid shield of muscle keeping you out of harms way.
Then the weight was too heavy. His body crushing you as he slumped toward the floor. You screamed, immediately thinking the worse as your eyes searched his form in a panic.
But you found no blood, thank God.
“He’s fine, Y/N.”
Steve’s hand on your shoulder had you flinching back, head snapping to his suit clad form. “The gun—“
“It’s just a tranq. I promise, Bucky will be fine.” His face was the picture of practiced reassurance.
A horde of agents rushed forward and cuffed Winters hands and dragged his unconscious body out of the stairwell and further towards the confinement room. Steve remained with you, his eyes flicking to your neck a few times and checking you over to make sure no serious damage had been done.
When you’d gotten yourself back to your room away from the prying eyes and the relentless questions, the reality of what had happened slammed into you.
You just let the Winter Soldier finger you in a fucking stairwell.
And you liked it.
Plunging your fingers into your hair, you took a shaky breath. What the fuck were you thinking? Had you lost your damn mind? Bucky broke up with you three months ago! You were done; over, moving on. He could remember this, for Christ sake! How would you explain it?
Panic writhed in your stomach, but so did the faint ache of need that reminded you of what had just happened mere minutes ago.
The feeling of his metal hand on your skin, the feeling of those fingers working you perfectly and the pressure of his bruising grip.
And that feeling that you couldn’t place.
But now you had a word for it.
From the thrum of your heart as he chased you down the stairs, the promise of violence and sinful pleasure in his eyes. The roughness of his actions…
It was the thrill.
You liked the chase. You liked how rough he was. The delicious blend of panic and pleasure.
And he’d been interrupted before you got the release you’d craved. That you needed.
Frustration boiled to the forefront of your mind, a dozen different strategies with it.
He’d made you confess your darkest secret only to leave you high and dry.
And damn him if he wasn’t going to finish what he started.
2K notes · View notes
7kh · 1 month ago
Text
༉ ease your mind.
cw — wlw. ambessa x f!reader. ambesscock. that’s it that’s the fic. fingering. slight orgasm denial if you squint. pussy slapping. overstimulation. creampie. ambessa loves her stupid little wife (not outwardly said but. yk). ambessa has a huge cock and it almost kills reader (not clickbait!!!)
you stood at the balcony of your palatial-like room, the cold air of the evening hitting your cheeks as your brows furrowed. ambessa sighed at the sight. you were her prized possession, she cleared the rust from you and made you lustrous; now, you were gradually dulling. she couldn’t let that happen. “your performance reflects your effort, little one. you’ve been dragging your feet all week.”
Tumblr media
you internally winced at her words. there was no getting around ambessa, no slick tricks or batting eyelashes could conceal how you really felt. “you’re spending too much time in your head. no more of this self-deprecating prattle; you’re fine.” she said finally.
“right..” you exhaled under your breath.
she huffed. if there was one thing she loved about you, it was your compliance. not that it started that way; you had thorns in your words, much to her chagrin. “you disagree,” she noted.
you were a bit too quick to answer, “i do not,”
“no?” she raised an eyebrow at you. another weird shot in your stomach at the slightly teasing tone in her voice. “it’s… it’s silly.” you gulped. “silly.” that was the word you decided? it surprised her even though it shouldn’t. “humor me.”
your eyes briefly flicked to her face for a moment before you looked back down, sighing defeatedly. damn her. “i.. have been dissatisfied with my performance lately. and i fear you have to.” you muttered, you almost thought she didn’t hear you and would coax you to speak louder. but she understood you just clearly. she just didn’t understand why. “so?” you raised an eyebrow at her, looking up at her, continuing as she didn’t let you get the chance to speak yet. “i would have said something to you if i had any grievances. do you doubt my methods?”
mouth slightly gape, you closed it and swallowed again, looking down at the white cement beneath you, “n..no.” ambessa smirked. “no?” she repeated. “then do not waste your brain on such frivolous matters. or do you need a reminder on who exactly you belong to?”
“i-i..” somehow, you were just now made aware of her very close proximity to you. maybe a little too close if you weren’t busy rubbing your thighs together at the mere idea.
“i think you do.”
a violent, shuttering breath came from your chest as ambessa’s thick fingers worked amongst your slit, teasing up and down slowly before she rubbed firm yet calculated circles on your clit. gripping the red silk sheets for dear life, and she barely even started. “isn’t this better, hm? a great difference than whatever nonsense you had in that little head of yours.” you sobbed at her teasing, quickly throwing your head back when she added a thick finger inside you. you already felt so full, what more could she have?
you tried your absolute hardest to not squirm and writhe under her when she added another finger, the lewd squelching of your aroused pussy echoing the sumptuous walls. “absolute submission suits you far better, darling..” she drawled while slyly adding a third finger. you nodded dumbly, agreeing to whatever eloquent words she cooed to you. they made your pussy drool hot, creamy juices that made her stomach churn in satisfaction. you pleaded and gasped, her scarred forearm never faltering when your nails dug into it.
to her truimph of having you exactly where she wanted, she removed her fingers, licking them clean shamelessly. messily. like she was sampling piltover cuisine again. except this time it was from your pretty pussy, which automatically made it 10x better than the diplomatic, ‘progressive’ city.
you whine at the loss, bucking your hips up to desperately chase the feeling again until a harsh slap met your cunt, making you squeak and close your thighs together instinctively. “don’t be greedy,” she growled, her blunt hands grabbing the supple skin of your thighs and spreading them wide open for her. you’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so incredibly aroused right now. “good girls don’t get rewarded if they’re inattentive. behave.” she leaned down to say firmly in your ear. you had no other choice but to nod your head, sniffling in compliance.
“your words, girl.”
“y-yes, ambessa.”
“good,” she smirked, leaning up again, lazily undoing her pants with an unreadable expression on her face. she knew you loved this sight of her, standing tall at the edge of the bed as you anticipated for what’s going to come next. it gave you a grueling feeling in your stomach, yet you chased it. chased her. with a scarred hand, she guided her cock out of the tight and inconvenient confines of her pants, mostly, if not already rock hard. dribbles of precum ran from her slit, making your mouth water at the sight, desperately wanting a taste. but not right now. was she twitching from the cool air of the room, or is she just simply built up and found the chance to finally fuck you? it was probably both.
she didn’t even let you breathe before you felt your knees rub against your chest and pulling you further to the edge of the bed, her slick tip sliding up against your slit, making you shudder. “let me show you how i value your excellence above anything else.” she finally sunk her cock into you, inch by inch, making you cry out. she wasn’t even fully in you yet. “breathe,” she cooed, guiding you through it was the least she could do. she held your legs steady as she sunk even further into you, biting your lip to alleviate the slight uncomfortableness. all of this, for you? the least you could do is just sit there and take it.
but, as soon as the pain faded away, you almost instantly became drunk on her cock, every snap of her hips knocked the wind out of you. your pussy salivated on her, smearing on her stomach and thighs and even on the bed, but she didn’t care. in fact, she encouraged it so much she forced you to look down at the sheer mess you were making. you were embarrassed, but the way you felt her cock twitch and hearing her groan when she saw the way she glided in and out of you made it worth it.
she made you pliable. a moldable, sticky mess, like you were designed by the gods to piece together perfectly like a complicated and difficult puzzle. “please, please please..” you whined, feeling her splitting you open. you were so full of her it was like you could fucking feel her in your throat, her cock kissing and bruising you in places you were unaware of until this evening. she was too big, you finalized— yet you could take it, she knew you could. each pant, moan and whine made that very clear to her.
“just fabulous..” she praised under her breath, appreciating how it earned a squeeze and twitches from your dewy, spongy walls. she knew you were getting close, dangerously so. she never relented her pace, having you babble and slur out nonsense, praise for her fucking you so good, thanking her for fixing your silly self-deprecating problems. she simply smirked and exchanged back filth to your slushed mind, but her smirk would slightly falter as she felt herself growing closer to release as well.
“‘bessa, gonna cum, i’m gonna cum, fuck—!!” you were only met with a nod, a final command as you followed it, like always. sobbing helplessly, a final, brutal slam made you gush everywhere, sinking herself down as you came unbelievably hard, your moans borderline whorish when you felt her cum deep inside you, a few shallow thrusts to ensure no drop escaped.
she barely even broke a sweat, yet you were under her fucked out of your mind, thighs twitching in mock-withdrawal in her hands, face ridden with tears and sweat. you were looked a mess, but you never looked more gorgeous in ambessa’s eyes.
her eyes widened softly as your arms wrapped around her neck and pulled her closer to you, but she made no attempt to pull away. she chuckled at your deprivation, rewarding you with a kiss on the side of your lips. “it seems like i hadn’t fail you this time.” you nodded and let out a meek “no” in response. you were too weak to speak at the moment.
you just wanted to selfishly bask in her embrace just a wee longer, wanting your skin to be hers for just a moment.
Tumblr media
© 7KH 2024, all rights reserved — do not claim, modify, copy or translate my content.
1K notes · View notes
inkskinned · 2 years ago
Text
no, actually, where is the whimsy?
my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?
we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.
earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.
i stared at my ex. he stared at me.
his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!
it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.
and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.
my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.
which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.
but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.
the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.
so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.
and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.
where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.
it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.
this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.
14K notes · View notes