#i just finished the companions for her……. and her first transformation she almost takes him out soxjxjxj | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

carewyncromwell · 2 years ago

Note

Ben and Charlie relationship with mama bear?

Ahhh, two of Carey's closest companions at school! (Yay Circle of Khanna!) This'll be fun... This took so long to write out, I had to wait until the following day just to finish it, hahahaha 😂

How Carewyn Feels About Ben:

Oh, gosh -- of all of Carewyn's friends, Ben and Carewyn's relationship has changed the most dramatically over the years. Carewyn's very first impression was that he was a meek boy with an unbelievable talent for Charms. Upon meeting him formally, though, Carewyn almost immediately felt some protectiveness toward him, upon learning about how Merula had been bullying him. Throughout their first three school years together, Carewyn and Ben were peers, but with Carewyn taking on an encouraging, protective affect around her less confident friend. This affect was magnified as Carewyn got older and became more of the "Mama Bear" we know her as, making it so that Carewyn fussed after Ben not unlike how she does other friends like Barnaby: placing her in a position almost slightly above Ben, where she took care of him but never asked or wanted any support from him in return.

All this changed, though, after the whole fiasco in the Portrait Vault in their fifth year, after which Ben went through an incredibly dramatic transformation. All of a sudden, Ben was a blunt, reckless, aggressive risk-taker who acted unafraid of anything and was determined to get Rakepick before she could hurt anyone else. Carewyn was incredibly disconcerted and troubled by this change, particularly when the trauma of the Vault's events made her start shutting her friends out in an attempt to keep them out of harm's way, and it made it so that she and Ben butt heads several times, over the course of their sixth year, not able to communicate how they felt. Carewyn felt like this fearful, unconfident, but incredibly loyal and clever friend had seemingly disappeared over the course of one summer, to be replaced with someone she hardly knew. It was only during one particularly heated blow-up where Ben took her to task about how much she always takes everything on her shoulders and how both grateful and hurt he feels about that where Carewyn could see the flickers of her old friend inside of this young man who'd so seemed like a stranger. Unfortunately, though, those more tender feelings didn't prompt Carewyn to open up, instead fear for Ben's safety more...which ultimately made her still try to shut Ben out, only for both Ben and Merula to follow her out to the Forbidden Forest, after finding a note supposedly meant for Jacob.

And well...everyone knows what happened in the Forest, that night. Rowan's death was yet another heart-and-soul-shattering trauma for both Ben and Carewyn, one that resulted in Carewyn nearly committing suicide by nearly starving herself to death and shutting herself in a closet in the Astronomy Tower with the intention of coming out again. After Bill, Charlie, Merula, and Ben recovered Carewyn at the base of the Astronomy Tower stairs, Carewyn finally broke down in front of them, and it was here that both Ben and Carewyn -- sobbing openly -- finally came together from their respective extremes and, afterward, were able to lean on each other again like equals. Ben ultimately became one of the main ringleaders of the Circle of Khanna and later on worked with Carewyn at the Ministry. Even though as adults, their personalities and attitudes couldn't be more different, they're closer friends than ever, and Carewyn is so proud of how much Ben has grown. Carewyn has also become a loving "aunt" to his and Wendy Gordon-Copper's @drinkyoursoupbitch children, who exclusively refer to her as "Aunt Carey" -- Matilda Copper even ends up becoming Carewyn's protege in magical law, when she gets older.

How Ben Feels About Carewyn:

When Ben first overheard Carewyn standing up to Merula, he pretty instantly admired her for her confidence and bravery. That admiration only grew once he plucked up enough courage to talk to her and he saw how sincerely kind she was as well. Being a Muggle-born who had been rudely welcomed to school by the likes of Merula Snyde insulting him for his ancestry, he was really encouraged to meet someone who not only reacted with righteous anger upon hearing what Merula had said but also sincerely complimented him for his talent in Charms. It was through his and Carewyn's shared love of Charms that they talked more, and it was after Carewyn stood up from Ben against Merula that Ben felt comfortable calling them friends, however truly lucky he felt that he could do that. His second and third years at school, being friends with Carewyn, Rowan, Penny, and Bill, ended up being the happiest times of Ben's school life, and some of the fondest memories he's kept into his adulthood.

When Carewyn and Ben started their fourth year, though, Carewyn went through a dramatic change -- one that ironically enough Ben found just as disconcerting as Carewyn would find his own change, two years later. Carewyn had become more popular and self-assured, sure, and Ben had no problem with that...but along with that, she'd stopped coming to Ben, to ask for his expertise, about the Vaults. She'd stopped talking about how she felt about things -- stopped getting angry or crying or showing any vulnerability at all. She'd stopped confiding in anyone: not even Rowan, her best and first friend in the world. She'd become Slytherin's resident Mama Bear and Cursebreaking hero, who took care of everyone else's problems...and it made Ben feel adrift. On the one hand, he admired his friend more than ever and knew she was happy, being able to help others...but on the other hand, Ben couldn't help but mourn the fact that she seemed to now only see her friends like a responsibility: people for her to take care of, but never let them help her the same way. And Ben especially felt like that -- there were times he didn't feel like her friend, but her child. And although Ben still cherished Carewyn's friendship and knew taking care of others was just how Carewyn expressed how much she loved them, he still couldn't help but lament that he wasn't her friend and equal anymore...and worse, that she wouldn't let him even try to be...all because she was so determined to suffer in silence.

All of these feelings came to a head when Ben went through his dramatic year 6 transformation, at which point he finally gave up trying to be gentle about how he felt. He was going to protect Carewyn and the rest of his friends from the likes of Rakepick, whether they'd let him or not. He was not going to be the "weak link" that R could target and take control of, to try to scare everyone else. He was not going to be a burden on anyone again -- this time he was going to act, not just react. And unfortunately in that time, Ben hurt a lot of his relationships, due to his bad expression of these feelings. He even ended up getting into a full-on wand and fist fight with his dormmate Charlie, at one point. Finally, toward the middle of sixth year, Ben finally pushed Carewyn enough over the edge that she broke down and started yelling angrily at him, and Ben -- rather than back off like he might've when he was younger -- actually yelled back. However clumsily, he was able to voice that discontent he'd been bottling up for so long, about how much Carewyn took everything on herself and suffered in silence, and how conflicted Ben felt about it. How much he appreciated Carewyn's selflessness, and yet also hated it, because it made it so he could do nothing, while she bit her tongue and stoically endured all of the pain she took onto herself. Although Carewyn ultimately didn't open up after this, Ben could see that she was more afraid that she'd likely ever been and -- sensing that something was truly, deeply wrong -- decided he wouldn't let Carewyn go off by herself again. Even if it meant following her into the Forbidden Forest.

Ben blamed himself first and foremost for Rowan's death. Rowan had thrown herself in the way of Rakepick's Killing Curse to protect him, and although Carewyn went mad with grief to the extent she wouldn't let anyone get near Rowan at first, Ben couldn't get within a foot of Rowan's body, let alone touch her. The sight of one of his first friends, dead because of him, shattered him in two, starkly reminding him that however brave and aggressive he might be able to act, he was still helpless in protecting his friends from R. Ben was unable to cry or talk for days afterward, too numb with pain. It was only when Carewyn abruptly disappeared too that Ben -- terrified at the thought of losing Carewyn too -- lost all control of his emotions, tearing through the school looking for her. It was toward the end of the day that he, Bill, Charlie, and Merula found her, and Ben -- absolutely beside himself with relief, shame, and grief -- collapsed to his knees next to Carewyn on the floor and began to apologize profusely through a stream of tears. He and Carewyn cried together for a long while, both of them blaming themselves for Rowan's death -- and as painful as the emotions were, it ultimately helped mend the rift that had grown between them. With Ben as one of the ringleaders of the Circle of Khanna and Carewyn as de facto leader, Ben became all the more determined to stand by Carewyn and bring Rakepick and R to justice, for not just killing Rowan, but for terrorizing his friend and her family. Even as adults, Ben remains very protective of Carewyn, serving as security during Carewyn's trials of ex-Death Eaters and even baring his fangs a bit toward Orion, when he first learned he was interested in Carewyn romantically. This protectiveness, though, is fully reciprocated, with Carewyn just as passionately protecting Ben from the Muggle-Born Registration Commission during the Second Wizarding War. However different they are as people, Ben still loves Carewyn like few others, not just for her being one of his first friends, but how they've grown both as friends and people over time.

(Charlie under the cut!)

How Carewyn Feels About Charlie:

Carewyn had originally only known Charlie in passing as one of Ben's dormmates, as well as the talented new Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team in their second year. Carewyn really got to know Charlie in their third year, after she'd already become close friends with his older brother, Bill, and when she started her journey into the Quidditch world. It was through Quidditch friendlies that she interacted more with both Charlie and Andre Egwu, and Charlie in particular really helped welcome her into the fold and immediately invited her to join his team in her first friendly. Whenever Carewyn came over to play in a friendly, Charlie would always ask to play with her, and they had a lot of fun playing together. Charlie was even one of those most excited at the prospect of Carewyn joining the Slytherin Quidditch team and was pretty disappointed to learn she'd left after Slytherin's previous Chaser made a full recovery and he woudn't fly against Carewyn in the match against Gryffindor VS. Slytherin. Being a prodigy at Seeking, Charlie just about always robbed Slytherin of their chance at the Quidditch Cup every year except for Carewyn's sixth, even though Ravenclaw would ultimately beat Gryffindor each time thanks to Erika Rath. Despite this, Carewyn never resented Charlie or his talent, however disappointed she was on Orion's behalf about Slytherin's loss.

As Carewyn and Charlie interacted more in their third year, Carewyn also learned about Charlie's love for magical creatures, especially dragons. Carewyn loves how passionate Charlie is about dragons -- she could easily listen to him talk about them for hours, just because of how happy they make him. Although she isn't as passionate about dragons as Charlie is herself, she does think they're beautiful creatures, and she likes most other magical creatures too, so Charlie and Carewyn became creature buddies pretty quickly, before they added Barnaby and Liz to the mix in future years. They then bonded further when Charlie came to pick Carewyn, Bill, and Merula up for Christmas break in Carewyn's third year via Mr. Weasley's flying Ford Anglia, when Charlie helped Carewyn explore the Forbidden Forest and deal with the Forest Vault in their fourth year, and they both became Prefects in their fifth year. Whenever they had to do Prefect rounds, Carewyn and Charlie would often pair up so they could talk and get their work done at the same time. By the time they suffered through the Portrait Vault together, Carewyn saw Bill and Charlie like the brothers she'd never had, and from their sixth year on, Charlie would refer to Carewyn as his "twin" and both he and Carewyn started referring to themselves as a pair as "Fireballs," a reference to Chinese Fireballs, which is the one dragon breed known to settle with their own kind.

Despite this, though, the trauma of the Portrait Vault did also throw some rocks in their way though. When Carewyn decided to shut her friends out and lie to them that she wasn't going after the Vaults, Charlie reacted with immense concern and disappointment, feeling like Carewyn had lost some of her confidence and fire, after what had happened. Despite this, he tried to offer support, but over time, he started to see that Carewyn just wasn't in the place to accept it. She would counsel Charlie and persuade him not to run away from Hogwarts -- but she wouldn't accept help from Charlie in return. And worse, she was actively hiding stuff from him and the others -- dangerous stuff, like the Wizard in White, Shiratori, supposedly targeting Carewyn and her friends' lives. This prompted a rather hot blow-up from Charlie at one point, who in the heat of emotion compared Carewyn to Rakepick for acting shady and keeping stuff from them. Ben retaliated against Charlie for this by magically sealing his mouth shut, and soon the two were in a full-on fight that Carewyn had to break up.

Not long after that, though, Rowan Khanna tragically died in the Forbidden Forest while tailing Carewyn to try to ensure her safety. As a result, Carewyn became a ghost of her former self, never speaking, neglecting her own health, and barely eating or drinking. Charlie was one of the first who saw just how bad of a state Carewyn was in and tried to snap her out of it, apologizing for the terrible things he'd said and begging Carewyn not to fight her demons alone. Carewyn, however, was in too much of a grieving, self-hating fog to listen, and not long later, she disappeared altogether. When Charlie, Bill, Merula, and Ben finally found Carewyn at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower, Carewyn sat crumpled up on the floor in Charlie, Bill, and Ben's arms, all four of them sobbing harder than they likely ever had.

Ever since then, Charlie and Carewyn's "twin" dynamic has only been strengthened. Carewyn writes to Charlie nearly as much as she does Bill and Jacob, and whenever Charlie needs a place to stay while visiting London, he can always ask to stay at Carewyn's place, if he doesn't want to stay at the Burrow for whatever reason. It broke Carewyn's heart when she had to distance herself from the Weasleys during the Second Wizarding War to stay at an advantageous position with Fudge and provide covert assistance to the Order, but once the War was over, Charlie and Carewyn resumed their friendship like nothing had changed, even though the death of Fred and Carewyn's new role as Erik Apollo's guardian clearly did have an effect on both of them. Even after many years and despite a lot of physical distance, Charlie remains one of Carewyn's closest confidantes and friends.

How Charlie Feels About Carewyn:

Charlie first took notice of Carewyn after she defended his dormmate Ben Copper from Merula Snyde's bullying. He was so touched by how she defended Ben that he even went to Dumbledore's office to speak on her behalf, when rumors started swirling that she might be expelled for dueling on school grounds, at one point even colorfully comparing Carewyn to a Chinese Fireball defending her eggs. Charlie also told his older brother Bill, who he'd always been very close to, about her, and the following year, Bill even ended up befriending that same girl upon her reaching out to him for help with the Ice Vault. Charlie's second year was thrilling not just because he became Seeker, but also because his brother ended up teaming up with Jacob Cromwell's sister to break the curse on the Ice Vault terrorizing the school.

The following year Charlie decided to more actively try to get to know Carewyn. After everything he'd seen of her and Bill had said about her, he felt the rather universally "Weasley" instinct that made him want to befriend and look after her...and fortunately, what made this really easy was just how much Carewyn and he had in common! She was a talented flier, just like he was, and Quidditch friendlies with her as Chaser and him as Seeker were lots of fun. They both loved magical creatures, and it was fun listening to Carewyn sing songs to the creatures, especially Muggle songs Charlie had never heard before. Carewyn loved the Weird Sisters' music just like Charlie did, but she also introduced him to other cool Muggle groups like Bon Jovi and Queen, the second of which ended up becoming one of Charlie's favorite bands. Carewyn was largely disinterested in dating or romance, much like Charlie was -- even when she did date their mutual friend Andre briefly in their fourth year, she was very understated about it in public, and both before and after they dated, she was perfectly happy just spending time with her friends, just like Charlie was. Carewyn even loved dragons! Not as much as Charlie did, but she still really liked them, and she would always listen to him talk about them however much he wanted with sincere interest painted all over her face. As they played in friendlies, worked toward breaking the curse on the Forest Vault, and completed Prefect duties together, their bond only grew stronger, to the point that both Charlie and Bill saw Carewyn as akin to family. Charlie thought of Carewyn as the twin he'd never had and would refer to her as his "twin" constantly around his other friends as well as the rest of his family.

The Portrait Vault, though, did cause problems, even though both it and Bill's departure did initially bring Carewyn and Charlie closer together. With Bill gone, Carewyn and Charlie had both lost the person they each trusted more than anyone else, so Charlie knew that Carewyn would understand what he was going through better than anyone else. And she did. The problem was that even if Carewyn would comfort him and counsel him about his feelings when he needed her, she was also withdrawing more herself, spending less time with her friends and disappearing from school more and more with no explanation. And soon Charlie was hearing very troubling things -- that Carewyn was leaving school to visit Knockturn Alley, that she was meeting her brother in secret...even that there was now an assassin who was after both Carewyn and Merula who ended up attacking Carewyn and Beatrice Haywood at the Lakeshore. Wounded by the lack of trust on Carewyn's part, Charlie confronted her, and when Carewyn refused to explain, he lashed out in a combination of both anxiety and righteous anger, at one point even comparing her to Rakepick for keeping secrets from them. They were words Charlie would regret for ages afterward -- especially right after Rowan's death.

As soon as Rowan was brought back to the castle, Charlie saw how mad with grief Carewyn truly had gone. Never before had he ever seen her so quiet, so pale, and so haunted. The fire that he'd worried that she'd lost some of at the beginning of the year had been completely snuffed out, and Charlie -- overflooded with guilt and concern -- desperately tried to relight it, however he could. The thought of losing Carewyn like they all had Rowan, especially after he'd lashed out at her, was one Charlie couldn't bear...and when Carewyn disappeared, Charlie was one of those who rang the alarm loudest, even going so far as to send an owl to Bill begging him to come back to Hogwarts and help him and the others look for her. When he did finally find her with Bill, Ben, and Merula, Charlie was crying harder than he ever had in his life, just relieved that his surrogate sister was alive and safe...and, for the first time in Charlie's memory, Carewyn was crying just as hard herself.

Over the years, Charlie and Carewyn remained close, writing to each other constantly and visiting frequently. Charlie even ended up connecting with Carewyn's old Prefect, Felix Rosier, at the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary, and it's through Charlie that Felix and Carewyn ended up staying in touch with each other's lives, since he's always telling one about the other. It was after graduation, though, that Molly Weasley really started dropping hints that she thought Charlie should pursue Carewyn romantically -- a prospect that made asexual/aromantic Charlie both cringe and scowl. At several points, out of misguided affection for both her second son and the friend he and Bill already saw as family, Mrs. Weasley tried to arrange it so that Carewyn would be visiting the Burrow right when Charlie was, so as to "put them in a room together" and hopefully encourage them to get closer. It was something that made both Carewyn and Charlie incredibly uncomfortable, and they both explained to Mrs. Weasley multiple times that they didn't see each other that way (Charlie in a much more irritated manner), but it didn't stop Mrs. Weasley from hoping anyway, liking the thought of Carewyn being part of the Weasley family "for real." When Carewyn and Orion became romantically involved post-Second-Wizarding War, though, Charlie actually had some trouble coming to grips with it at first. This was partially due to his brotherly overprotectiveness toward Carewyn and partially because he'd taken some solace in the fact that Carewyn -- like him -- was much more interested in her career and her friends than a romantic relationship, and when Mrs. Weasley still had trouble at times coming to grips with Charlie's aromanticism, that had been incredibly validating. Fortunately Charlie got over these feelings pretty quickly, just seeing how happy Orion made his twin, and eventually he ended up admitting to Carewyn at one point that if he did ever get into some queerplatonic relationship with someone just so he wouldn't be lonely, he could see it ending up like hers with Orion, in the sense that they'd live their own lives with their own homes and privacy, but still come together and spend time alone together whenever they wanted company.

Alongside his older brother Bill and his mentor and friend Felix, Carewyn is one of the most important people in Charlie's life, and he wouldn't trade their bond for anything in the world.

How does Carewyn feel about these HPHM characters?

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #hphm ask #carewyn cromwell #ben copper #charlie weasley

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kykyonthemoon · 2 years ago

Text

Ficlet 01

In which Lumine was writing a story.

━✧━

It was late at night and Lumine was still sitting at the table. Her pen flicked the strokes over the white paper, swiftly filling from page to page. Lumine paused for a moment, carefully tapping the hilt of her pen on her chin in deep thoughts.

Her story was almost finished; only a few more elements remained. She turned to her companion in search of new ideas. Paimon had fallen asleep, next to the dango plate which was empty and left a trace on her mouth.

Lumine sighed. And she said that they were going to write a story together! Seeing Paimon eating well and falling asleep, Lumine realized that it was late at night and she hadn't eaten properly yet. She and Paimon had bought some food to take back to their room, but now it seemed that there was only one onigiri left. Lumine was about to grab the final roll of onigiri on the table's corner when she flinched. A furry, black hand emerged from the shadows and took the food.

“W-What was that?...”

Lumine took a step back. Had she been writing youkai stories for so long that she had started seeing things? The round face of a bake-danuki was then revealed behind the edge of the table. It looked to be grinning before dissipating into thin air.

Lumine blinked. For a moment, she chased the bake-danuki shadow out. She wanted to get her late-night food back, as well as to ask the youkai some questions. Lumine was penning a story about a bake-danuki warrior with the ability to shapeshift, but her words about the youkai's transformation were unconvincing. So meeting a true bake-danuki here was a triumph for her.

But Lumine quickly lost track of the youkai. The surroundings were so deserted that there was only the sound of her footsteps. Suddenly, there was a rustle nearby. A rustling might be heard nearby. Lumine spun around, ready to strike if she was in danger.

“Who goes there?”

There was no reply. Behind the sakura tree appeared a shadow cast on the grass. He walked out in the light and Lumine immediately realized who it was.

"Childe?"

“Hey there, ojou-chan!”

He stated this with a smile and a pleasant wave of his hand.

Lumine was relieved; because, while Childe was a Fatui Harbinger and she didn't completely trust him, she could see that not all of his deeds were terrible. Unless he's plotting something in the middle of the night like this…

"Well, my ship returning to Snezhnaya was delayed, so I still have a few days to visit Inazuma a little more. I was strolling around the neighborhood when I noticed you chasing something."

Sightseeing at night? That sounded pretty shady. Lumine reminded herself to keep an eye on him quietly.

"Well... I'm chasing a bake-danuki."

"A youkai? What did this youkai do that made you chase him?"

Childe seemed intrigued. He must have been interested in youkai as well.

"Not a lot. I'm working on a book..."

"The tale of a youkai? I had no idea you were a writer either."

Lumine sensed her cheeks warming up a little. She replied”

"Not really… It’s simply a way for more people to learn about youkai in a more creative and approachable manner."

"How thoughtful of you, Traveler!" Childe made a remark. "You've always had a unique perspective on things."

"Unfortunately, while I'm here talking to you, I've just lost track of the bake-danuki..."

Childe scratched his head. "Well, it's my fault then. I'll help you find the bake-danuki, is that alright?"

"Are you sure?" Lumine tilted her head a little. "It's really late right now."

"Not a problem at all. I simply hope you'll give me the honor of being the first reader to read your story, maybe?"

"You must promise not to laugh at it!"

Childe chuckled:

"Do you think I'll laugh? I intend to purchase all of your books from Yae Publishing House and have you autograph each one!"

Lumine crossed her arms, faking a stern gesture:

"I'm not here to joke with you. I have a bake-danuki to chase!"

When Lumine turned away, Childe was certain that he saw a grin from her lips.

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Inspired by "Tales of the Youkai" event.

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Notes: I've wanted to started a series of ficlets that somehow connects to the game or events. My very first GI fic was a Chilumi one, so it's just perfect that they mark the start of this series too. While I do write longer stories, I find ficlets to be lovely puzzles that fit well into the events in game. Like a side quest? Though they are short, I do hope you guys enjoy these pieces. It really means a lot to me. Thank you and happy holidays <3

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Masterlist: x

Support me on: Hoyolab | Ao3

#genshin ficlets #genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #lumine #chilumi #childe x lumine #tartaglia x lumine #genshin impact childe #genshin impact lumine #genshin impact tartaglia #ajax #tales of the youkai #genshin impact fanfic #fanfiction

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redemptioninchaos · 1 year ago

Text

fantasycorrupted

“Aye, and I would have handed his head to him like he deserves. Or a good slap in the face like what I was planning to deliver,” Fíann muttered quietly. “Well… if you do… it might become impossible even for me to stay away from you. Or Ríane. You are very powerful, Ro…”

Ríane gave a nod. “She is right, so she is.”

***

Like she had said, Fíann had used her powers to finish healing herself. Despite protesting, Ajax had used his powers on her, and she had gotten out of this one trouble’s way not only in one piece, but also unharmed - after the healing, that was. Then, she was fast asleep, a scowl as if still on her face. Even in her sleep she remained stubborn and bent on having things her own way, and the only reason she did not fight with Aurora and her son were because they were friends. There was no sense in that. Whatever she said, they would try to help anyway. Might as well let them.

“I shall look after her.” Ríane paused. Infernal presence? “A fight happened here, Sir Ajax.” Since he called her a lady, she would return the favor and call him sir. He was a sir, right? The nobility and kindness of a knight were impossible to miss in him. “A man from Fíann’s past showed up. And then… Lady Aurora might not believe me, but as a mermaid it is not unlikely that Fíann herself is a bit of a demon. I am not privy to the details of how she transformed into one, but not all mermaids are celestial creatures… if we take it they are, in fact, celestial creatures…”

It only dawned on her that Aurora might be giving off the infernal aura when it was too late; the words had tumbled from her mouth already. Ríane stuttered, “I- I mean, this is just my beliefs, Sir Ajax. It is possible I am wrong. I am not so good in figuring out whether someone is a… demon, or an angel, or a mermaid, or anything non-human. I’m human, maybe spending too much time around them has made it harder for me to guess it if my companions are not human…”

Ajax, as trusting as he was, believed her account. He pointed to Riane and said, “Te curo.” Riane’s wound was healed. “This spell isn’t as effective, but your recovery will be quickened, Lady Riane. The aura feels too familiar, almost like Bescevius’s.” He looked to Aurora, who nearly hid her face with her wings. He asked her, “Were you involved in the altercation, Mother?”

Her heart nearly beating out of her chest, she said, “I was.”

“Are you hurt?” He raised an arm, already preparing Cure Wounds.

Aurora blinked, her wings lowering. She felt guilty for many reasons that night, one of them right then being that she thought Ajax would condemn her for using her abilities. Why did she give him so little credit that she forgot Ajax’s first priority to help? “Um...you need not worry about me, dear.”

Ajax stared at her for a moment, making her uncomfortable. It felt as if he could see every sinful act she’d done for Fiann and Riane’s protection, causing Aurora’s heart to swell within her. The spell Murchadh cast on her left a lingering sting on her body, but succubi had a natural resistance to many magics other than radiant. She would be fine for the time being...though it would have been easier to sleep that night fully healed.

He pointed to her. “Te curo.” It was unclear whether Ajax shared the same telepathic ability as she and the Corbeaus did, but he nonetheless read Aurora’s mind. All the pain she felt was gone in an instant. “Thank Lathander all of you are safe. I’m going to reconvene with Hella. May the Morninglord be with you all.” After hugging his mother and bowing to Riane, he headed for the door. “I believe Lady Colette can help you with the disposal of the body,” he said before leaving.

open rp

“If a part of you is... not human,” now, Fíann isn’t just going to give away her mermaid origins - but upon careful observation from a nearer distance, one can notice sparkly little scales on her skin - but she has started thinking out loud anyway, “but you were born in a family or village of humans... What does that make you?”

She is musing to herself, nothing more. And she doesn’t live in a village, technically. But those are details. “And vice versa. And, generally... is it a bad thing to be human? To be born, only to last a few decades until the thought that you’re halfway through with your life slaps you in the face?”

“Butterflies don’t think about how short their lives are. For all we know, they might be happy among the flowers. Humans, though...”

#aurora #fiann #riane #ajax

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hikarimiyanaga · 3 years ago

Note

the Dimitrescu's with their s/o with wings that they are big and fluffy and can protect them from cold

I cannot tell you just how much I love this.

I'm adding Donna too, if you don't mind.

Also, reader is a Mulawin, a fictional species in the Philippines who can transform into a winged humanoid by stabbing the back with a feather (That's just how much I remember, forgive my goldfish memory.) Except the one for Alcina's.

So here you go!

Alcina Dimitrescu / Lady Dimitrescu

Flying has always been a joy. Nothing can ever get you to come down from the skies where freedom is your companion.

That is, until you saw her. The first time that you were flying through the village, you crashed into a big tree when you saw her. She caught your eye.

She was also the one who found you, passed away like an idiot. She was also the one who nursed you back to health, your wings all bandaged up.

You move them and she was entranced. It was the first time she saw someone like you. Someone with such big wings.

After that, it took you three days to recover your dignity but you stayed in the Castle for weeks.

You've never been grounded in your whole life before. And she... She was the reason.

You flew off in a fit of rage. Because how dare she. How dare she capture your heart? How dare she steal your attention from your beloved freedom?

You stop as you look upon the whole castle... You can fly but you have never thought to explore it. And you realize, yes you do have freedom... But in exchange, you have no place to call home. No one to call family. You were just drifting from place to place.

You touch down and the three girls cry as they hug you. They thought you left. That you left them behind.

"I could never." You say with a sad smile. "How could I do that to the most sweetest girls in the world?" They hug you again and you look at Alcina. Her eyes were unreadable as she goes inside the Castle.

You tucked the girls in for the night. Then fidget nervously in front of Alcina's room... She saw you. You glared at her before you went outside and flew.

You knock and a small 'come in' can be heard from the door. You open it slowly and see Alcina in her night gown, getting ready to sleep. She glances at you then continues. You sigh.

"Did you know I wasn't born with these wings?" You look down as she turns to you. "I was an experiment. A guinea pig." She frowns at you. "It's why I love the sky... And the freedom. The way that the wind blows through my body as I fly through the skies." You sigh. "I'm sorry that I flew away so suddenly... I just." You turn to her with a sad smile. "It reminded me of being imprisoned."

"Staying here?"

"No... Staying grounded."

After your confession, Alcina held you tight. And you stayed at the Castle. Alcina doesn't care if sometimes you disappear suddenly, she knew how important flying is to you now.

Donna Beneviento

Observation has always been a part of your life. Even before you had discovered that you can transform into a Mulawin.

You stumbled upon the village and stayed for a week because of how isolated it was. It reminded you of your own home.

But then you met Donna and she made you stay. She didn't know that you were a Mulawin so you confessed it to her.

She accepted you with all her heart.

It was such a relief to open your wings in front of another person and knowing that they wouldn't do anything to hurt you.

One day, it was snowing heavily so you and Donna decided to stay in instead of going out into the village, she even made sure to make her gardener go home early.

"It's so cold." Donna says and you knew that it was serious since she didn't even use Angie to say her thoughts out loud.

You get your feather and summon your wings. You hug her and she blushes. She was going to turn to face you when your wings wrapped around her. She sighs in relief and leans on you.

"Thank you." She mumbles and you hum as you stare out the window. Before you knew you it, the both of you had fallen asleep cuddling each other.

Bela Dimitrescu

You were a guest of Mother Miranda and was given to the Dimitrescus as a guest.

Of course, the woman knew about your species and she hired you to help restore Eva... you had no intention of helping her but that's something for another day.

You were reading inside the library when Bela stumbles upon you. You smile at her and that was the start of the friendship between the both of you.

But then the day comes when Ethan came to the Village. And almost every one of your instincts are telling you to run.

You couldn't abandon them though so you stayed, hoping to convince the three sisters to at least hide somewhere safe. But they wouldn't listen to you. You panic when Ethan gets inside so you get your sword that was given by your Father.

Before you even knew it, though there was a shattering sound and you hear Bela's scream. You rushed to her side and stop Ethan by knocking him out. Then you shield her with your wings. She was stunned by their colors but it made you annoyed.

"Go somewhere safe, damn it!" She snaps out of it and nods at you before going to the library.

You sigh as you take care of Ethan and get Rose's vial. You then help him get the other ones.

You join forces with Karl who was actually... reasonable?

The three of you get Rose back from Miranda and you reunite with Bela.

She hugs you and you hug her back.

Cassandra Dimitrescu

You were captured by Karl on one of his expeditions to find ways to kill Mother Miranda. He wanted to get your help but you don't want to kill anyone anymore.

You were so done being exploited by humans. You wanted to hide your wings but he wouldn't let you. When you were unconscious, he brought you to the castle, hoping that they would be good hosts to you.

And they were, for starters, Alcina freed you and you hid your wings. It was exhausting to maintain their form for that long after all.

You got along with the three daughters, most particularly Cassandra, who shared your interest in Art.

You were amazed by everything that she creates, even if it was just sketches.

One day, it was snowing and the three girls were huddle in the library with the fireplace. You take pity on them so you make your wings appear and hug them. Bela and Daniela thanks you while Cassandra just hugs you, no words needed.

Ever since then, if it was just a bit cold, Cassandra would come running for you and you chuckle as you hug her.

Daniela Dimitrescu

You were the known bird person in the Village and you were close to the four lords. Often becoming their only visitors every week.

You were particularly close to Alcina, her having shown her true form to you and you sharing your bloody past.

One day, Alcina asked you for a favor since she needed to be out on a business trip, she asked you to look after her daughters.

"Are you sure?? You do know I'm like only a year older than them, right?" She assures you that you're the perfect person for the job and she does trust Bela... but Cassandra and Daniela can be that rambunctious.

When you meet Bela, she gives instructions that you look after Daniela while she looks after Cassandra. You agree and she thanks you.

So you spend everyday with Daniela, even telling her stories from your past.

One day, it was a particularly cold day when she decided to go outside the village. Saying she wanted to explore.

But then it suddenly rained so you quickly make your wings appear and shield her. Both from the cold and water.

"Stick close to me." You say and she just nods, uncharacteristically quiet as you two go back to the castle.

Bela was so worried that she hugs Daniela, happy that you were both safe. Cassandra though, she takes note of the unusual attitude of their youngest.

When Daniela was alone, Cassandra surprises her and smiles.

"You like Y/N, don't you?" Daniela blushes and tries to deny it but sighs. She talks to Cass all about you.

What they didn't know was you were listening in... It was an accident.

When they finish talking, you appear and confess to Daniela that you felt the same way.

A/N:

This took way too long since I started playing Genshin Impact again.

Anyways, I only have two more requests to go and I'm going to start writing the Loving You sequel.

Comments and thoughts are always welcome!

Thank you for reading!

If you can, please buy me a coffee.

#alcina dimitrescu x reader #donna beneviento x reader #bela dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu x reader #resident evil fanfic #resident evil village #resident evil #re8

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bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 3 years ago

Text

Trick or Treat

The next A Very Bouncey Halloween installment and a belated birthday gift to my darling @veritasrose. Thank you so much for the last year of friendship, I look forward to celebrating with you again. <3 you are much loved.

tw: curses, Geralt is an idiot, competent Jaskier

---

Light flashes through the room and momentarily blinds Jaskier, who stumbles back against Geralt. He mumbles an apology to the ever-sturdy Witcher as he waits for his vision to return and when he blinks clearly for the first time after a few long moments, the bard feels utterly and totally confused by the scene unfolding before him.

The Duke’s grandest ballroom, which had been bustling with excitable party guests only moments ago, is now flooded with ghouls, ghosts, vampires, and monsters of all sorts. A woman with swan’s wings is huddled in one corner, squawking angrily at anyone who tries to draw near. A minotaur stumbles through the center of the dance floor, lowing in frustration as he tries to control his bulky limbs. Two werewolves wrestle for dominance atop the furthest banquet table to their left. As Jaskier takes it all in, he feels Geralt’s hands wrap suddenly around his bicep; the Witcher is clinging to Jaskier fiercely, leaning his not insignificant weight against the bard’s side as his eyes grow round and watery.

“What’s happening?” Geralt finally asks. His tone of voice seems breathy and high, filled with a terror - almost totally foreign to Jaskier’s ears. Geralt fears nothing and yet… “Let’s get away from this dreadful place, please!”

“Aren’t you going to try and solve this problem?” Jaskier asks, glancing at his companion. He gestures at the various monsters roaming freely past the buffet table. “You’re likely the nearest Witcher, after all.”

“I’m no Witcher,” Geralt declares. He splays a hand over the very center of his blue velvet doublet (a nearly perfect imitation of the way Jaskier reacts to a perceived offense). “I am a Count. Witchers are dirty things, not meant for such a public life as my own.”

“For fuck’s sake, Geralt, now is not the time for a prank of this nature,” Jaskier huffs. “Something is clearly going on here. We need to help these people!”

“I know something is wrong,” Geralt sniffles - fucking sniffles - and squeezes the bard’s upper arm even more tightly. The sound of Geralt crying shakes Jaskier into understanding, even as Geralt begs: “But I don’t know how to help! Please get me out of here, Milord, I’m scared.”

Milord? Jaskier mouths to himself, even as he wraps one comforting arm around Geralt’s waist and ushers him away from the growing chaos at the center of the ballroom. Jaskier hurries them down one suspiciously empty hallway after another until he reaches the small suite that he had accepted as payment for his performance at the party. Jaskier ushers Geralt inside and locks the heavy oak door behind them.

“My Lord Geralt,” he gets the not-quite-Witcher’s attention. “Do you mind taking a seat by the fire for now? I’ll be right with you as soon as the room is secure, and then we can figure out what’s going on and what to do from here.”

“Yes, Milord,” Geralt nods. He hurries to comply with Jaskier’s request, to the bard’s continuing shock and awe, and stays still and quiet as Jaskier removes his doublet and rolls up his sleeves. Using the strength he’s spent twelve years at Geralt’s side developing, Jaskier shoves a bookcase, a dresser, and an unfortunately designed roll-top desk in front of the locked doors for added protection.

Moving behind Geralt with practiced efficiency, Jaskier also closes, shutters, and locks every window in the room, pulling the curtains closed to keep any light from spilling out and alerting stray creatures of their presence.

When he’s finished locking down all of their room’s possible entrances and breathing hard from exertion, Jaskier tugs the Witcher’s xenovox from his bag and flips it open, waiting with bated breath until Yennefer’s irritated voice snaps: “What do you want, Geralt?”

“Who is that?!” Geralt cries from his place near the fire. He has a white-knuckle grip on the overstuffed armchair he’s perched in and his clothing is mussed; Jaskier motions for him to be quiet and Geralt bites his lip, worrying the soft pink skin between his unusually dull canines.

“Was that Geralt?” Yennefer asks. "Did Jaskier summon me?"

“Yes and yes,” Jaskier replies. “I think he’s been cursed or enchanted or something. I was hired to play at the Duke of Rinde’s All Hallow’s Eve celebration and Geralt accompanied me - even dressed up for the occasion - but something happened at the party and now he’s acting strangely. I don’t know what to do.”

"What's happening?" Yennefer prods.

"Geralt is acting rather out of sorts. He’s speaking strangely, he wanted to flee the party rather than investigate the source of the changes-”

“What changes?”

“Everyone sort of… Well, a good portion of the party guests suddenly transformed into their costumes,” Jaskier explains, his speech stunted by his disbelief. “I know it sounds incredible, and it was! One moment we were all enjoying the music and the next… there was a minotaur and a mermaid and a faun… Geralt went nearly mute and started clinging to my arm like some sort of aristocratic maiden!”

“Oh shit,” Yen groans.

“Who is that?” Geralt repeats. Jaskier continues to ignore his companion. He knows that the moment he turns his attention to caring for Geralt, he won’t be able to tear it away again, and he needs to finish this conversation with Yennefer first.

“Why are you swearing?” he asks the sorceress. “What is it?”

“Geralt asked me for advice about this stupid ball a few days ago, while you were busy making arrangements with the Duke. He wanted to impress you with his All Hallow’s Eve costume and prove that he could be just as fancy and well-mannered as all the other men of your status.”

“Why in the world would Geralt want to dress up and act like a nobleman? It makes no sense! He detests small talk, he hates vanity, and he finds most men of my station to be cowardly and overly delicate - myself included! I just- I don’t quite understand why he’d go through all of this just to impress me. Or why he thinks this kind of thing would be impressive in the first place.”

“Jaskier, please tell me that you aren’t as stupid as our mutually beloved Witcher…”

Jaskier considers for a moment, pondering the things that he does to impress Geralt: gathering wood, learning to cook with game meat, preparing the Witcher’s potion ingredients while he's out on hunts, organizing their packs when they're spiking camp, brushing Roach’s mane… Realization dawns suddenly and all at once. He has a moment of pure understanding, a moment much beloved by every poet, bard, and playwright across the Continent: “Oh.”

Yennefer gives a tired laugh. “Yeah.”

“So he’s stuck as… a noble?”

“I suppose,” she sighs. “I’ll portal you to my location and we can figure things out in peace. Get your things together, I’ll open it up in precisely five minutes.”

“What’s happening!?” Geralt demands. Jaskier pulls the Witcher/Count to his feet and bows shallowly.

“I am Jaskier Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove. I will be your protector and chaperone for the foreseeable future, Your Lordship,” Jaskier bows shallowly. “I’m going to gather our things together and then we are going to meet up with a very lovely sorceress, Yennefer of Vengerberg.”

“Is she a friend of yours?”

Jaskier barely manages to hide his surprise at Geralt’s utter lack of recognition. His memories of Yennefer have also been taken, then.

“She’s a mutual friend.”

“Are you my friend?”

“I would like to think so,” Jaskier smiles. Geralt remains oblivious to the bard’s heartache, even as he curls himself against Jaskier. He tucks his face against Jaskier’s shoulder and sobs quietly. The bard runs his hands comfortingly up and down Geralt’s spine for a long, soothing moment. The smooth, royal-blue velvet tickles his fingertips. “Shh, dear heart. I’ve got you. Everything will be alright, I swear.”

“I trust you,” Geralt whispers.

Just as Jaskier is about to reply, Yennefer’s portal snaps open in the center of the room. Jaskier hands Geralt a set of bags and hauls his own over his shoulder. “Time to go, Your Lordship. Just take one little step…”

---

“Do you know who I am?” Yennefer asks. Geralt shakes his head before burying his face in the back of Jaskier’s shoulder-blade.

“I’m so frightened, Milord.”

Frightened? Milord? Yennefer mouths. Jaskier shrugs nearly imperceptibly and makes a panicked gesture in the Witcher’s general direction.

“I don’t know what to do either!”

“Well, start from the beginning. Tell me what happened at the party before all of… this.”

Jaskier recounts every detail he can remember in the most straightforward way possible, momentarily renouncing his poetic skills in favor of efficiency - for Geralt’s sake, of course, not Yennefer’s. When he's finished he asks: “And you said he did all of this to impress me?”

“Yes.”

“But why?” Jaskier repeats his earlier question. Yennefer understands that his meaning is different; Jaskier understands that Geralt is interested in him romantically, but the bard can't seem to get it through his head that Geralt has deemed him worthy. Although, knowing the Witcher, he isn't even sure how to go about doing such a thing in the first place.

"I just... I don’t quite believe you," he adds.

“He loves you,” Yennefer reiterates. "And now he’s stuck like this until the effects of the spell wear off, so I suggest you take his precious Lordship to one of my spare rooms and make yourselves comfortable. I’ll see you both for breakfast, providing the magic is null and void by then.”

“And if it isn’t?”

“I hope you enjoy small talk, you bardic bastard.”

Yennefer smirks and disappears from the room in a whirl of black and white silk, the scents of lilac and gooseberry curling through the air in her wake.

Geralt clings to Jaskier’s bicep again as the exhausted bard stands, keeping his larger body pressed against the human’s side as if Jaskier is the one who wields the Witcher’s swords. “So I’m under a spell?”

“Yes, darling.”

“At least I have you here to protect me, Jaskier. You’re so brave and strong; my hero!”

“It’s usually the other way around, dear heart, but I appreciate the sentiment. Now, how about we find a comfortable place to bed down for the night, Milord?”

"Alright."

Jaskier moves Geralt's hand so that it's curled around the inside of his elbow, the proper etiquette for a platonic escort, and leads him quickly down the long hallways of Yennefer's sprawling manor house. He chooses the blue-themed bedroom at the back of the East Wing, far from the sorceress' own suite of rooms.

He has to help Geralt change out of his lordly costume, the Witcher-turned-Count fumbling uselessly at the laces and buttons as if he'd never seen a fastening before in his life. Geralt whispers shyly as Jaskier pulls a nightshirt over his head: "Thank you again, Milord Jaskier. I feel as if I can't help but continue indebting myself to you."

"Think nothing of it, dear heart," Jaskier smiles, ignoring the pang in his chest. "I am happy to help you."

Jaskier tucks Geralt into bed before changing into his own nightclothes, tossing his things back into their travel bags as he swaps outfits. He feels Geralt tense up when he sits on the edge of the bed and his eyebrows narrow in concern.

"Are you alright, Geralt?"

"Are you going to share a bed with me?"

"Would you rather I didn't?" Jaskier answers with a question of his own.

"I... I wouldn't mind it if we shared."

Jaskier wishes he had Witcher sight, so he could catch a glimpse of the blush no doubt attempting to stain the Witcher's face. Despite the mutagens, Geralt's face still went pale pink when he encountered a strong emotion. It was adorable. And incredibly rare.

As soon as he pulls the covers over his chest, Geralt glues himself to Jaskier's side, snuggling close. "Feels safer," he says in lieu of explanation.

"Goodnight, dear heart."

"Goodnight."

---

"Fuck," Geralt groans, sitting up in bed. Jaskier sits up beside him, wiping the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Good morning, Milord," he teases.

"Shut up," Geralt groans. Jaskier does get to see him blush this time, and the bard revels in it; he would trade all the gold in the world to see Geralt flush like this. "I can't believe I cried on you!"

"It was rather adorable, actually."

"Hmm."

"Still..." Jaskier reaches out, tentative, and cups Geralt's cheek with his palm. He turns the Witcher's face and locks their gazes together, blue meeting gold. "Still, I think I prefer you as you are. My big, strong Witcher who cares so much about defending the little guy. Willing to step in and help wherever and whenever he can."

Geralt's eyes get a little glassy and he leans forward, pausing and letting Jaskier make the final decision. The bard meets him halfway, pressing his lips against Geralt's without any sense of urgency at all. It's warm and sweet, time fading away as they let their feelings pour through this one simple gesture. When they pull apart again, Geralt gives a surprised, lopsided smile. "Oh."

#geraskier #geraskier fluff #a very bouncey halloween #geraskier first kiss #geraskier and buffy #btvs au #geraskier fluff and silliness #curses #cursed geralt #nobleman geralt #yennefer was there #bamf jaskier #competent jaskier

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legolas-is-a-himbo · 2 years ago

Text

Trying out a new format here...

wild blue yonder

Summary: What if Aredhel stayed in Himlad and never met Ëol?

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Aredhel/Celegorm | Turcafinwë Characters: Aredhel (Tolkien), Celegorm | Turcafinwë, Huan (Tolkien), Celebrimbor | Telperinquar, Curufin | Curufinwë, Maeglin | Lómion Word Count: 4535

Read on ao3:

Full text below the cut:

The first tendrils of night were just beginning to creep over Beleriand when Irissë left her companions behind. They had set up a camp between the borders of Doriath and Nan Dungortheb with full intent to turn around in the morning and make their way backwards to the Hidden City. Glorfindel and Ecthelion were busy taking stock of their provisions and gathering additional food necessary for the journey home, leaving Egalmoth to keep watch over their fire and their princess.

“Just a quick rest,” Glorfindel had said earlier, “then we shall leave these treacherous lands behind.”

Irrisë had pleaded with him and the others to continue making their way to Himlad, but their consensus was in solid disagreement. All were grumbling over their less-than-desired situation outside Menegroth, and while none of their party expected a warm welcome, they equally scorned being turned out at the border like common criminals. The three ellyn had grown resentful of their journey, and while they adored Irissë as a friend, they had become tired of her antics and restlessness. Irrisë, however, was of the opposite temperament. The further they travelled, the more her heart was spurned onwards to reach the sons of Fëanor - one of them in particular. Above all, she could not bear to return to being contained within her brother’s city, unallowed to roam free as she pleased. Rather than becoming exhausted, her frustration took on the form of anger, and she was far past the point of allowing anything to stop her.

As she now sat on the ground a little ways off from Egalmoth, pretending to occupy herself with the re-braiding of her hair, a plan began to form in her mind. It was so obvious. She was tired of her companions’ behavior in the recent weeks, acting like she was too prone to danger to be left alone, ever since she had begun expressing her resistance to returning to Ondolindë. Irrisë had memorized the route towards Himlad, and she trusted her heart not to fail her. She would leave that very night, with or without the others.

There were daggers strapped to each thigh underneath her skirts, and a sharp knife hidden in her right boot. Her sword was carefully positioned next to her, ready to be swung into place across her back.

“Egalmoth,” she asked, ensuring that her tone remained even, “could you gather more wood for the fire? I am going to tend to the horses.”

“Quite alright,” he said, nodding. “I hope Glorfindel and Ecthelion return soon - I am hungry, and the fire will be blazing by the time they finish with whatever it is that they’re up to.”

“Mm,” was all she said in reply, effectively shutting down their conversation. Egalmoth made a show of rolling his eyes and moving to collect branches and sticks off of the ground, turning his back on Irissë. She seized the moment and picked up her sword, striding towards the edges of the large clearing they had claimed for the night where their four horses were secured to trees. Rather than tending to all of them, she selected her own, a swift but gentle grey mare she had named Calandil. Quickly, she undid the tether and climbed across her back, forgoing the extra time it would take to put her saddle on again.

“Aredhel?” Egalmoth had noticed her unexpected behavior. “What are you doing?”

“What do you think?” Then, “Care to join me?” She taunted, almost smirking.

“Aredhel - Irrisë. You aren’t thinking straight! You can’t just leave us. There was never any point nor hope trying to reach him, let alone now!” He shouted, alighting the frustration and anger within her heart. He dropped the branches he was holding at his feet and began to run towards her, but she was too fast. With a gentle nudge to Calandil’s sides, she was speeding in the opposite direction.

“Ecthelion! Glorfindel! Come quick!” He cried, haphazardly grabbing their bags and saddles. Yet he knew she was already lost to them - for she had charted her course directly into the heart of Nan Dungortheb, a labyrinth through which few escaped and none could track even an injured deer.

For many weeks, Irrisë rode hard, between the twisting trunks and drooping vines, often spending days without seeing the sun. As she ventured further, it began to rain almost constantly, and she was soaked through to the bone. She gave up on staying warm or dry, and lived mostly off of soggy bread she had stashed in her bags and skirt pockets and what few berries she found that she could trust would not instantly poison her. For her weapons, she was grateful, as more than once she had to fend off shadowy creatures lurking in the brambles.

Calandil remained ever faithful, even in the miserable conditions endured by both horse and rider. When they stopped to rest, Irrisë only let the animal sleep, not daring to drop her guard for even a moment. Yet it was a thrill that she had not experienced in centuries, and she relished in the adrenaline and even the fear. Something had been stirring underneath her skin ever since she survived the Helcaraxë, and finally she could allow it to be unleashed.

After over a month of journeying, Irrisë felt pure sunlight against her skin, and she shouted aloud with relief. Despite her ability to let go of all restraint amidst the darkened forest, she was glad to be rid of the constant anxiety and fear of a threat around every corner, and even more glad to be free of the endless storms and biting cold. Now there was only one thing left to do.

As she made her way towards Himlad, a new fear began growing in her chest. Soon, she would see Tyelkormo again, and she did not know what she would do. She was still angry at him, still wanted to drive him through with her own sword. But she could deny the fact that at the same time, she still loved him, and she wanted nothing more than a reason to forgive him. Yet her anxieties were for a moment dashed, for when she approached his place of dwelling, she found neither of the brothers present.

Two guards were positioned at the front gate, a heavy thing of iron - made not to look grandiose and magnificent, but to send a clear message to intruders: keep out. Yet they could not turn her away, not when she revealed her name and her origins. She would have persisted to the point of battle, but she was surprised to be allowed to enter freely. Was this Tyelkormo’s design? Had he prepared all this time for a visit of hers that might never come? The thought of it kindled the fire in her heart, igniting something in the pit of her stomach.

Irrisë wandered the halls of the main keep, ignoring how many of the other inhabitants seemed to regard her with a mix of scorn and confusion. Tyelperinquar - Celebrimbor as he now called himself - had been left in charge but spent much of his time in the forge, although to his credit, he ensured that she was provided with a spacious room stocked with fresh linens and clothing, and always enough food each day. The design of the place was clearly for practical purposes only, a far cry from the extravagant decor of Gondolin. Yet as she explored, she spotted touches of the personalities of the lords of this land - amidst the dull grey stones and flickering sconces were furs lain out as rugs in front of fireplaces and antlers hung on the walls, intricately designed swords and chalices and jewelry displayed throughout the rooms, and carefully placed windows and balconies overlooking the surrounding plains.

She acquainted herself with the land outside just as much, going on long walks foraging for edible plants, and running gleefully through the fields. Irrisë spent much time with Calandil, allowing the horse to rest in the meadows and feed on the wild grasses. While she was hesitant to admit it, these activities were not purely for pleasure, but to distract her frantic mind. Her agitation built by the hour as more time passed during which the brothers were gone, and she knew that she could have to face their arrival at any moment.

On the third day of her stay in Himlad, Irissë came across Tyelkormo’s quarters. She knew they were his, for the doors were grander than the others and carved with his sigils and runes. She tested the handle and found it unlocked - she supposed he would not have been expecting company in his absence. Stepping inside the first chamber, she was instantly overwhelmed. There was a table with papers strewn across it, clearly in his handwriting. A collection of boots lay scattered on the floor, and a bed for Huan was nestled in one corner. Tapestries hung from the walls, and a tall shelf that took up almost an entire wall held all kinds of unique items and artifacts of flora and fauna that Tyelkormo had collected on his hunts. Upon closer examination, she spotted samples of mosses and soils, bear claws, dragonfly wings, snake skins, and everything in between.

The whole place was so much like him, it reminded her of a more grown up version of his rooms back in Aman, the last time they had been at peace together. She could just imagine him pacing these floors, doting on Huan, delightfully adding new treasures to his inventory, sulking and stressing over the correspondances he was bound to maintain with the surrounding realms. In part it made Irissë furious. She wanted to set fire to all his belongings, to the entire fortress, to make him see what it was like to watch everything you knew burn to the ground. It would be a thrilling revenge. Yet she could not bring herself to do it.

There were two more doors off of the main room, one of which was just barely cracked open. She pushed it with a light touch of her foot, and stifled a gasp when it swung fully open to reveal a bedroom. In the middle was a bed carved from oak, with the sheets and blankets still unmade, and a woven rug of wool spanning most of the floor space. She took in the additional shelves piled with trinkets - and books, she never knew he enjoyed reading - and the impressive moose antlers mounted on the wall, and a chest of drawers with some still open and spilling out clothing. She felt a twinge of discomfort, like she was trespassing on something intimate she no longer had the privilege to witness. But she could not help herself, for she was drawn towards the bed, and she became lost in how his scent permeated the sheets. Irrisë closed her eyes, and it was as if she was still in Aman, and they were returning to rest from one of their long sojourns in Oromë’s forests, his arms around her and her hands in his hair.

From then onwards, she moved her meager belongings into his quarters, and began staying there instead of in the guest room she had been provided with. She tried to restrain herself from further snooping, although she was curious regarding the subject matter of the books on Tyelkormo’s shelves. However, she discovered that they were not books he had read, but ones he had written. Page after page, he had created detailed accounts of the wildlife and geography of Beleriand, taking notes on every territory he passed through. His indecipherable scrawl was still the same as it had always been, but it did not take her long to remember how to read it.

As much time as she spent wandering the halls of the keep and frolicking outside, she began to spend reading these journals and piecing together where he had spent his time over the past decades. It did not take long for Celebrimbor to pick up on her habits, and he soon strolled into Tyelkormo’s chambers, where she was taking a break from reading to sharpen her blades.

He sighed and cleared his throat, prompting her to look up from her work. “Yes?” She asked.

“I should have known you would find your way here eventually,” he said, rubbing his hand against his forehead. “Would it make a difference if I ordered you to leave my uncle’s rooms alone?”

“No.” She was rather embarrassed at the direction this conversation was going, and returned to examining the knife in her hand.

“I have treated you with grace, and I admit I do not know what to do with you at this point. Please, just… do not cause further trouble. I am very busy with my work, and I have neither the time nor patience to deal with--” He gestured at the air around him. “--whatever is going on here. Celegorm and my father should be back in no more than a few days. I trust that you will remain on good behavior until then?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, my lord.”

“Do not call me that.” But he smiled, or maybe it was more of a grimace, and left not without shutting the door.

Barely two days later, the baying of hounds could be heard over the horizon, with Huan galloping at the lead. The hunt had returned, and Tyelkormo was greeted with a shocking surprise from his nephew. Irissë, however, was often a late riser, and she had not yet awoken - so that is how he found her, asleep in his own bed.

At first, he just stood there. A wave of emotion crashed over him, momentarily paralyzing his feet at the doorway.

“Irrisë?” He asked, cautiously. Then, “Irrisë!” He shouted, causing her to wake up.

As she opened her bleary eyes, she stopped abruptly on the way to reach for her sword. There, in front of her, was the man she had been waiting for. He looked divine, like something out of a dream, and she could barely believe he was real. Yet, even with the increased count of scars across his face and a new darkness in his eyes, he was still the same as she had once known.

“What are you doing here?” He demanded, crossing the room with only two strides. Her face fell as she gazed up at him.

“I came for you!” She cried as she pushed herself upwards, and he realized she was wearing his nightshirt. “I spent months journeying to find you, and now I have waited here for you in your absence! You should be groveling at my feet!”

“I-” He paused for a moment, breathing heavily. “Never once did you reach out to me, it has been two centuries.”

“More than that,” She interrupted.

“More than two centuries I have been without you, yet now out of nowhere you show up and cause trouble for my nephew! What am I to do?” He shouted back at her.

“You were the one who abandoned me!” Bellowed Irissë. “You and your accursed father burned our ships, you left us to die on the Ice, and you treated us with such hostility even when we survived! No, do not interrupt me! Even your eldest brother stood aside for his love, yes I heard it from Findekáno, yet you did not have such care - how could you have expected me to feel anything for you but hatred?”

His gaze softened, and he scrunched his face together as if to keep from crying. Cautiously, he sat down at the very edge of the bed but turned his head away from her.

“I did not mean for any of this to happen,” he whispered. “I have regretted that night for every day of my life. I was not among the first to set the fires, but I could not resist the pull of my father and, I think, also of the oath.” He shook his head. “You have every right to despise me. So why are you here?”

“You know of my brother’s hidden city. I have been kept from the wilds for so long, and I yearned for the freedom of open spaces. I could tell you later of how I came here - it is a long story. But when I approached your gates, your guard told me they had instructions to allow me to pass through in any circumstances…” she trailed off.

“In the case that you ever visited, someday. But I thought you never would.”

“Because you knew that I hated you.”

“Yes.”

“I do not.”

His breath hitched in his throat. “You just told me you did.”

“No, not quite. Well, I did, for a long time. I don’t know. You have done bad things, but you are not an evil man.” Her voice shook with the last sentence, bearing her heart out for him.

“Many would say differently.”

“Do not forget that I, too, am a kinslayer.” At that, he turned to face her, something so deeply sad within his eyes that she was compelled to move backwards away from him.

“You do not know what I have become,” he said, exhausted.

“Oh shut up, you’re not special.”

“What?” She suspected that no one had spoken to him in such a way, at least not since they had last been together.

“You are no worse than many in these lands. Even those in Doriath are rude and petty. You know, when I arrived here, I wanted to kill you. I still might. But there is good within you, do not deny it.”

“Right. Okay.” He fiddled his hands awkwardly in his lap, not knowing where to move or what to do with himself. He was so tempted to reach out and touch her, but something in him said it would be wrong. She deserved the first move, if there ever would be any.

“We can put the past behind ourselves, Tyelkormo. Or we can continue hating each other and holding our grudges. I can stay here, or I can leave.” Her voice faltered as she added, “I can return to my family in Ondolindë, or I can open myself back up again to what I used to call family. Your pick.”

“Let us get through the day, at least,” he said, trying to hide the hunger and longing within his voice.

He left the room to properly freshen himself from the hunt, and she dressed herself in his mirror. They awkwardly danced around each other, and he was unused to seeing her in his fortress. He seemed to run into her everywhere, and he wondered if her taking meals at the same time as him was more than just a coincidence. Even Huan was not spared from this - Irissë and the hound shared a joyous reunion, and Huan was beside himself with glee, licking and jumping on her and inadvertently knocking over a candelabra with his tail. Tyelkormo witnessed this from afar, and it warmed his heart in an aching way to see the love shared between them.

Irissë of course also had to deal with Curufinwë, although thankfully he was too eager to rejoin his son in the forge to spend much time gawking at her presence. Yet she had to admit that his conversation was not entirely displeasing, and both father and son agreed to take a look at fixing a broken necklace she had carried with her. They seemed to reluctantly expect that her presence was not going to be of a temporary nature, and she took this as a good omen.

She spent much of her time that day thinking of her future and of her past. She longed for companionship and to be truly understood, and the last time she had felt such a way was during the days of her youth running through the forests and fields of Aman with Tyelkormo. A glimpse of this she had felt even in her little time at Himlad, and she knew in her heart that their connection was not at the point of dying out forever. While she could never forsake Turukáno and Itarillë and all of her friends in Ondolindë, she was not yet ready to return. And as much as something still burned within her, she was no longer determined to exact her own revenge upon Tyelkormo. The same fire, she realized, burned within both of them. By the time the sun set, she had made up her mind.

When she returned to Tyelkormo’s chambers, she found him already there, waiting for her. He had changed out of his heavy layers and now wore a silken tunic with an unfairly low-cut collar.

“You have read my books,” he said, holding one of them in his hand.

“Yes,” she mumbled. She had not expected those to be the first words out of her mouth, and she was taken off guard.

“I am not mad… to be honest, I am rather relieved that you did.”

“You are?” This was even more surprising.

He smiled sheepishly. “I always envisioned one day showing them to you and asking you for your opinions.”

“In that case, they are wonderful,” she said, beaming. “I would be happy to discuss them with you more… later.”

“Later?”

“Surely you think there is more important business to attend to.”

“Right,” he sighed. He ran a hand through his hair, freshly washed and falling loose to frame his face. “If you want to stay, I will not turn you away. I will help you continue to forgive me, if that is what you wish. If you want a… later.”

“Good. I would expect you not to do otherwise. But what do you feel?”

“I-” he faltered, looking to the sky as if to beg Eru for assistance. “I feel I am better when I am with nature, with Huan, with my horses, and yes, with my brother and nephew, but also when I am with you. It would make me- It would make me happy if you stayed. I have missed you. To know that there is the possibility of a future with you in it, I would kick myself if I let that go. We have wasted far too much time already.”

He was sitting down and she was standing, and a flash of lightning from outside illuminated his features as if he was some otherworldly creature. She approached him carefully, and it was like some hidden curtain between them fell. “I must admit, my own sentiment is of the same nature. I cannot resist you, Tyelko, I never have been able to.”

“Earlier you called me Tyelkormo… now you say Tyelko again.” His eyes glistened with tears, but they were not evil things.

“I will keep calling you that, as long as you wish to.” She took a deep breath, and then: “I love you.”

Any other time, he would have replied with some self-deprecating retort, something to dissuade her from making such proclamations. But they were both laid bare to each other, and he could not break their moment. “Yes, that’s it,” he nearly whispered. “I love you.”

Her hand fell to rest on his cheek, and they met each other in the middle. His lips were rough yet sweet against her own, and she felt his hands lace around her middle.

“Do not think you need to be gentle with me,” she spoke into his ear. He did not.

Tyelkormo flipped her onto the bed, positioning himself above her. Her fingers tightened against his shoulders, and she gasped against his lips and into his hair. He traced the edge of her chin, her cheeks, her neck with his mouth, making her shiver beneath him. She could not deny that he was stronger than her, yet when she pushed against his arm to roll them over, he obliged, allowing her to take the lead. She relished in the sight beneath her, drinking in the desire and love displayed openly in his eyes. He drew her down again, and they kissed like they had once deep within the trees of Aman, when their hearts were free to wander as they pleased. His hands were strong against her body, and she was far past the point of restraint.

Panting, she broke them apart and said aloud, “Marry me.”

“What?” He froze.

“Marry me,” she repeated, her words tumbling like a current from her lips. “I know I have never been in favor of the idea, and neither have you. We do not need to have any ceremony, we do not need to uphold any traditional duties. We will remain free spirits. But far too much time has passed with us apart, and you and I both know we may be separated again. We know not what the future holds - but if I could know where you are, if we had something tangible, it would-”

“It would be a comfort.”

“Yes,” she gasped in agreement, “yes.”

“Fuck the Valar,” he said, almost laughing.

“Fuck the Valar!” She dragged him down by the neck and kissed him again with increased fervor. Their hands grasped against each other, tugging at clothes and hair and skin. They blurred the lines between their bodies and souls so that Irissë could not tell where she ended and where her lover began. Their fëar began to intermingle, growing closer and closer, crossing all boundaries and bringing new meaning to the reality they had once known.

It took a long time for the pair to come back down to themselves. When Irissë awoke the next morning, she saw the sunlight streaming down on Tyelkormo’s face, relaxed in sleep, and she knew she had made the right choice. He opened his eyes, almost startled to see her still resting there beside him. But his face lit up in awe when she whispered unspeaking good morning, and he began to weep tears of joy and astonishment. She caressed his face between her palms and planted a kiss upon his forehead.

“Are you still going to kill me?” He asked, but it was lighthearted.

She laughed, bright as the sun coming in through the window. “Maybe. But not today.”

Good, he said, without moving his lips.

The following summer, a baby was born. Lómion, his mother called him, and he grew up running through the meadows of Himlad and lounging against the body of a hound well over twice his size. For a time, he was well-loved, and he took up craft-work in his uncle’s forge. It would be many more summers before the sky turned dark, and for now, Irissë and Tyelkormo were free to spend many hours riding on long hunts in the forest, both alone and with their son, or often with larger groups of their compatriots. The two worked together to continue filling Tyelkormo’s journals as they explored the wilderness, comparing their notes and collecting new artifacts. Their souls were alight with new vigor, and Irissë felt young again, at last free to roam the wilds. The hunger within her was momentarily satiated - as long as she ignored the warning signs of future strife to come.

#my writing #ao3 #The Silmarillion #aredhel #celegorm #huan #maeglin

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darkacademicfrom2021 · 3 years ago

Text

Away. So, so far away.

"There wasn’t a single moment where he could forget how fragile you were. How different your life span was compared to his —he wanted to give you all of his enormity, all of the years that wore too big on his bland and heavy life.

He couldn’t keep you by his side forever".

Pairing/s: Loki x reader, Bucky x reader

There's 2 alternative endings, a "choose your own adventure" kind of thing.

<<Previous part Masterlist Next part>>

Warnings: angst. God, believe me, this is so fucking sad. Sorry about that. Some fluff, implied smut, Odin and Frigga's A+ parenting (/s). Thor being a little bitch. Reader not wanting kids.

Total word count: 16,3K (this was supposed to be an oneshot???)

Chapter word count: 4,6K

If you had to choose the best outcome from working with the Avengers (or, more specifically, under the economic decisions of Tony Stark), it had to be the hotels he chose for the team on the missions.

The rooms were always a bliss —you would’ve never gone to such fancy places if it were up to you. You didn’t think it was worth the money at all, and you didn’t fit into the overpriced lifestyle of those who loved the five-stars everything.

But your work was something you had to do, and, let’s say the comfortable beds, big bathrooms and incredibly talented chefs making your breakfast wasn’t something you had to work hard for you to enjoy.

And now, as your sore muscles ached and your fogged head went everywhere and anywhere, you thanked greatly to be able to be there that night. Peaceful. Tranquility washing over your back in the form of drops of water.

The mirror was covered with steam and a curtain blocked your way, but you still noticed the tall figure of Loki peeping in. You heard his clothes being dropped on the floor and you kept on putting soap over your shoulders, as if he wasn’t there. You were so, so tired, you didn’t even realize that the shower was a little bit too hot for your lover. It even was too hot for you, too.

“Damn”, he gasped as he flinched away from the water. You woke up from your daydreaming and immediately turned the cold water on. The mixture of them formed a perfectly tepid temperature you both could tolerate. You learnt the hard way Loki showered on such cold water your lips would turn blue. “You alright, dear?”, he asked from behind you.

“Yeah, a little tired, not more”.

“You need some rest, take the day off tomorrow, would you?”, he purred on your ear with his hands on your shoulders, giving you a soft massage. His hands moved up to your hair, and he soon began cleaning it himself. He loved to do that for you, and you loved to feel his long fingers caress your scalp, the soap running down your body, the shampoo smell staining his own skin and leaving the shower smelling the same.

“I have to finish this mission up”, you mumbled. “But once we’re back to the compound you bet we’re taking a day off together. You must be tired too”.

“Not that much, but I can’t deny a day off with you”, you felt him smile, even though you weren’t facing him. You knew how and when he smiled; you memorized the curve of his lips and every situation it would curve. His smile did things to you. “You know I don’t get tired off of these things”.

“Yeah, it’s almost like you’re a God or something”.

You both laughed softly. He gently pulled your head back and cleaned off the shampoo. He kissed your temples, all the way down to the nape of your neck, and kept kissing each protuberance of the spine, bone by bone, as if missing one would make it feel left out. As if every inch of you, every single bit of you, deserved the same praise and the same love —it did. He made sure you knew that.

“It’ll be all over soon”, he promised in a whisper. You sighed.

“Don’t worry, my love. It will pay off”, you assured him. You turned around to face his furrowed brows. Standing in your tiptoes, you reached his forehead and planted a kiss where his frown disappeared as if by magic. “Now it’s my turn to wash your hair”. He smiled and kneeled before you, so you could reach his head.

You shampooed and conditioned his hair slowly and silently. He closed his eyes, not letting you know he was overthinking about everything he was making you do, and how much he appreciated you doing it.

“You know…”, he murmured, his deep voice almost getting mistaken by a groan if it weren’t for the clearly spoken words, “we could stop all of this, if you see it… surpassing your limitations”.

He opened his eyes and raised his head to meet yours. Those puppy eyes of his. You scoffed.

“Limitations?”, you cocked an eyebrow and smirked teasingly.

He laughed and rolled his eyes.

“You know you’re a weakie”, he said jokingly, emphasizing on how bad that word described you at his gaze. “Now, seriously. I’m aware it’s a lot. A lot, lot”.

“Love, you don’t have to keep worrying about it. I accepted because I love you so, so much. Some even could say too much”, you caressed the back of his head and sank your fingers in between the curled strands. “I may not agree with it ideologically, but I can make a little sacrifice if that means being with you for the rest of my life. And, for the record, it’s not as much as you think”.

He didn’t say anything else to that. He simply smiled again, pressed lips in the tiniest curve, as if repressing it would make it last longer, and let you wash the conditioner off him.

You could do very well with a day off, though. Between the missions that seemed to never stop and only get worse week by week, and the infinite amount of trials you had to go through by the Asgardian royals, you thought you may pass out any time soon.

The trials… ah, the weirdest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life. And that was not little to say, for you had fought freaking aliens and helped supersoldier’s wounds to heal in a matter of seconds with Stark’s subdermic nanotech.

Loki had a possibility, a chance to have everything he ever wanted to have, and he could’ve taken it. They said ‘you can have the throne now’, as if it had always been that easy, and he didn’t take it right away, as if it hadn’t been the thing he most wanted.

“The thing I most want, little darling, is you”, he told you when he explained what had happened.

And you swore he was about to propose —he almost took off a damn ring off his pocket. But he didn’t, and instead, he related carefully and detailedly what had to happen before he could marry you, if he were to get the throne. You had to show your in-laws you were a good companion for the King.

And that sucked. Why did it matter so much? You loved him and he loved you, and he was going to be a great King. That was all that mattered for both of you. But the conditions were very clear, and had no room for argument. And you wouldn’t let Loki give up his unfulfilled wish to rule the realms, nor would he give it up now that he had the chance.

So there you were, balancing between the missions and the trials. Which were very sexist, in fact. Who would’ve thought royals and Gods would be so conservative? You laughed. They varied between many housekeeping duties, archery, Asgard’s history, a lot of politics, the cooking and baking of different Asgardian treats, and a lot of those idiotic kind of trainings of putting books over your head and walking in heels. They said they had to transform an avenger into royalty, and you almost laughed in their face. Loki did.

It was impossible you'd ever actually become who they wanted you to change into. A submissive and silent companion, not possessing any other ability than smiling politely and attending your husband's needs? You were so incredibly far from even being like that, that not even Strange could see a reality in where you'd do it.

But you could pretend. You passed the first dozen trials, and passed them well. Odin had started growing a certain liking to your attitude, much unlike Frigga, who was increasingly repulsed by it. She was trying her best in transforming you, a lost cause in her eyes, into whatever she found fitting to accompany her younger son.

"Your mother's idea of a 'good' partner is very different from mine", you said over a glass of wine, waiting for dinner to finish cooking. Loki was sitting over the counter reading a book. He closed it over his lap and marked the page with a wooden spoon that was on handy.

"Mine too", he sighed. "She doesn't see that you already are perfect".

"I don't think she'd see me with your eyes".

"You must remember she was raised to be the princess that would someday marry Odin. She has no other view of marriage than… changing the true self. Much as she taught me shapeshifting, we have all learnt different ways to hide underneath a veil of lies and deceiving".

You took in his sincere words and went back to silence for a while. He didn't go back to his book, instead, he looked at you. He wanted to know what you were thinking about, but asking felt like an intrusion of some sort. You looked back at him, an invitation to ask. He then asked,

"How do you feel about it?".

You nodded with no reason to nod. Pressed your lips in a line, a smile that wouldn't form just yet. Not for this.

"I sincerely don't know", you finally said. He hummed. "I love you, that's all I know. My perception of marriage doesn't mean giving everything and everyone up. But again, in my perception of marriage I never thought I would actually marry a prince. I know this is how it is. I know this is what has to be done".

"It doesn't", he jumped off the counter and surrounded your waist with his arms, resting his head on your shoulder. "Love, this can be solved. I don't want you to resign everything and everyone. This is not how it has to go if you don't like it. Say the word. Say the word and…", he sighed.

"And you'll resign your everything and everyone?", you chuckled.

"You're my everything and everyone, I wouldn't be resigning anything I don't already have".

"Liar. You want this", you said almost in a whisper. Turning around to face him, you cupped his face and kissed his chin. "You can have it. I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel guilty".

"I have reasons to feel that way".

"I'm just being dramatic".

"You're not".

"I really am", you assured him. Love sometimes was protecting him from your thoughts. Love sometimes was waking up from a nightmare where he died and not telling him about it. Love sometimes was not worrying him and lying. Or was it? Were you protecting him or were you creating a demon? "This is your big chance. Do I have a big chance here? I don't. My big chance so far has been being by your side. You make me blindly happy. I don't care if I have to change some things to please your parents, we both know I wouldn't actually change. We can see underneath the acting. You know me".

"I know you enough…", he started saying, with no need to finish it. I know you enough to know you don't want this.

"Let's have dinner", you smiled, and he kissed your forehead.

Love sometimes was accepting, he thought. Accepting you didn't want to talk about it that much. Love sometimes was sharing time. Sharing that glass of wine while sharing moments in the kitchen. Sharing the dinner you cooked together. Sharing time. Sharing. And this… Loki knew he wasn't sharing. He was taking his chance and making you go through it without you wanting it. But you shared —your life, your motivations, your fears, most of your thoughts. And you shared your thoughts about it, yet he could sense that wasn't all. You were keeping some worries to yourself, and that was what preoccupied him the most.

In the training room, you avoided Thor’s blasts and threw your daggers, trying to practice over the little things the Queen had taught you. Loki observed from afar, not wanting to distract you. He stared proudly, knowing who he was going to marry. It was not bad at all.

You had started liking that part of the training. You catched interest for Asgard’s history, politics, and the trainings of archery and dagger-fighting. You grew fonder of the idea of living in his Palace, and, to him, nothing sounded better than you calling him my King in front of everyone. But, whatever would come for the future, would come brightly.

You weren’t closer with Thor than with any other Avenger. And you weren’t exactly friends with anyone. You got along pretty well. Tony Stark liked your fierce personality, and laughed at the contrast between your bitterness in the field to your kind essence in any other situation.

Steve Rogers constantly pointed out how hilarious it was that someone like you would end up with someone like Loki. Both took it personal —Loki thought it was an offence to him, “how could someone as caring and sweet as you end up with that mass murderer”. You thought it was an offence to you, “how could someone as dull and incompetent as you end up with a literal God”.

Natasha Romanoff… She didn’t talk much. But, unlike James, she didn’t even try to communicate. James was interesting, and you were sure you would call him a friend, someday. He wasn’t very talkative, but he was always there. Always laughed at your jokes. He memorized your coffee order. He liked the same shows you did and watched them with you, in silence. He was quiet, but his actions spoke to you much more than any other Avenger. Although, James “Bucky” Barnes, was not an Avenger. Much like Loki. He was just there, he was always helping.

“How are the trials?”, asked Thor, avoiding one of your daggers without much effort. You weren’t actually good at it. Thor had learnt to avoid them for the last thousand years.

“I have a week left, and then it’s done. I think I’m doing pretty good”, you said, hiding your exhaustion. Thor was barely moving and you couldn’t catch up to him as much as you tried. He laughed when you fell, and helped you up, only to blast you again with a tiny electric wave, that at that point you felt no more than a tingling sensation.

“My son”, heard Loki from behind him. He turned around and made a small reverence to her. She smiled and stood by his side, observing you too. “I see their determination”.

“Nothing better for a King’s companion, yes?”, he said, proud dripping off his words. Frigga rolled her eyes and nodded. She wasn’t amused that Loki, from all the choices he had, had chosen a dull midgardian to follow him for less than a century. And then he’d had to choose again. Hopefully, someone who would live longer than a damn heartbeat.

“We ought to have a little talk, boy”, she finally said, and Loki’s heart tightened with nervousness. Very few people managed to get him that nervous over a couple of words. “Join me to a more… private space”.

They walked in silence until his room seemed like the best option. Room was a formal way to call it, for it was huge as an apartment. You both had managed to make a standardized-looking studio apartment into a cozy space, decorated with care and dedication. It was obvious Loki’s good taste and your inherent warmth had a big role on the decorations.

Frigga roamed around the room, observing the hung pictures and passing a finger through the white Christmas lights. She stopped at a particular photograph of Loki and you ice skating. He was carrying you as if you were a feather-weight doll, your seemingly cold hands wrapping his blue neck. Frigga stared at the actions developing at that moment. Under your cold touch, he was half transformed in his Jötun form, completely comfortable. You looked at his eyes with a glimmer that Frigga knew it to be the same Loki looked at you with. You were both laughing, and he seemed to have carried you up bridal style only to tease you into throwing you into a snow pile.

“Mother?”, Loki pulled her off of her thoughts. She turned around. “You wished to talk about something”.

“You seem… in love”, she murmured under a confusing expression. Despite Loki’s perceptiveness, he couldn’t figure out if his mother was repressing a smile or holding back a frown of sadness. Perhaps both.

“I am, mother”, he admitted, appearing a mug of tea in her hand and inviting her to sit on one of the couches. “If I must be sincere with you, as I always have been, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way for anyone”.

“For a mortal, Loki…”, she sighed and sipped her tea. “You know what will happen now. You’re so… attached”.

“As attached as you are to Father, not as one is to a puppy pet”, he clarified.

“But much more like a puppy pet, they’ll live less than a quarter of your life. Much less. In fact, you’ll blink twice and you’ll be by an empty space on your bed, my dear”.

“I certainly hope you’re getting to a point here”, he scoffed. He’s had this conversation countless times before, and his mother never gave in.

“There is this last thing in the trials…”, she said, raising her eyebrows and getting up to pace around the room once again, barely watching over the decens of good moments in pictures you had displayed on the wall. “One thing that has to be surely not optional”.

Loki sipped on his own tea, looking out the window. He watched the spider boy try the man of iron’s flying boots and crush against a window. It was a much better thing to have his mind on, than in what his mother had just implied.

He didn’t realize it, but a few tears formed in the corners of his eyes, and he had to swallow harder to speak his mind. The implication alone of what that meant… he knew all of this would crumble under his touch. Sooner or later, he would have to make a choice, and he’d choose the wrong thing.

Both options were the wrong thing. There was no way out. There was no right path to follow.

“There has to be a way out of this question. Of this decision”, he hurried. His mother chuckled.

“Given your reaction, son, it doesn’t sound like there’s much to decide. It’s an answered question, and we all know it”.

“Yet you thought it wise to pull them through all of these trials, all of these…”, his lips trembled, and he had to stop to take a breath. “To rouse us with the illusion of the better life we always dreamed of?”.

“I had warned you about it, Loki. There is no us in your daydream for the throne. And much less with a short-lived being such as a midgardian. I had warned you”, she repeated, and rage boiled on Loki’s veins.

“Why is it that everytime I get a glimpse of what a good future could look like, it gets destroyed before it arrives?!”, he lost his temper, raising his voice. The tea fell to the carpeted floor and he didn’t even look at it. Frigga didn’t flinch, and walked closer to him. She gave him an arm-length grab on his shoulders that was supposed to calm him down.

“Hush, little boy… this is for…”, she tried to soothe the wound she opened, but he interrupted her before she could say anything else.

“For my own good? Were you going to say that, Frigga?”, he hissed. His mother dropped the arms. She didn’t like when he called her by name. It implied things he had implied before, and were no less true than what he felt like. Apart. Away. “And must I remind you I’m not a little boy you need to protect and make decisions for? This is ridiculous. I’m given, once again, the illusion of the choice”.

“Oh, Loki, when have I ever given you a golden apple you couldn’t actually reach?”, she folded her arms, furrowing her brows. “I’ve taught you magic so you could be unstoppable. I’ve raised you equally, despite your roots. I’ve…”, she enlisted, and Loki’s chest hurt so tightly he thought he’d finally die. He couldn’t speak. “I’ve left everything to your reach. Your arm just wasn’t long enough. You could’ve stretched it further, yet you decided to go for another apple, and that, my son, is not our fault”.

Loki sat on the floor, and she stayed standing. The height difference that would always make her look up at him was now gone, dissolved as the confidence Loki had gathered in the past few years he’s been living in Midgard, away from all of those words. Away from what he considered at some point, the truth. And you weren’t there to hug him and squeeze the lies away —it wasn’t true, it wasn’t true, it wasn’t true, he repeated himself like a machine. It wasn’t true, although it felt so much like it.

“Loki? You haven’t said a word in…”, she began saying, rotting her patience of steel.

“What would you like me to say?”, he asked, blinking some tears away. He got up, not letting her see how much smaller he felt now. Words are just words. “Perhaps you could facilitate me with a script, so I would never wrong my path again, yes?”, he spat sarcastically.

“Oh, son. You musn’t…”.

“Take this personally, I’m aware. Now, if you excuse me, my beloved will come from training any time soon now, and it would be very unpleasant for you to come across them and have to greet them, right? So I’d suggest we wrap up our little chat and you go… Queen around”.

“Now, you’re being just rude. I wouldn’t wish you to fail in anything”.

“I’ve never said that. You said that I’m just too… incompetent to reach, the apples, was it? Were you talking about Iduna’s or was it a metaphor for all the things you’ve taken from me?”.

“You’re putting words in my mouth”.

“You’re right. You’ve never taken anything from me. You’ve never given them in the first place. You’ve only put them near, so I could want them enough, and then give them to your real son”.

“You’re my son, too. You’re a real son, too, Loki”, she extended her palms for him to grab, but he didn’t. Instead, he turned around.

“Excuse me. I must have misunderstood”.

“You certainly did”.

“Perhaps it’s because I live in a world of illusions, and I’m forgetting what’s real and what’s not”.

She nodded, hiding impatience. Without saying another word, she teleported away, disappearing behind a veil of yellow lights, like a flame surrounding and consuming her.

Loki dropped to the floor again, and inhaled and exhaled, inhaled and exhaled, inhaled…

“Love?”, you asked, dropping your water bottle on the table without unlocking your eyes from him. You kneeled next to him immediately. “Love, what’s happening? Are you bad?”.

If he wasn’t in such a state, he would’ve laughed at the comparison of what caring for the other meant in your eyes and his family’s.

He didn’t let you see his face —torn apart, wet with cold tears that solidified to the touch of his skin, the blue form that couldn’t hide when he was too upset, or too broken, like he was right then.

He sank in your arms, hugging you as tightly as he allowed himself to. Grasping for your touch, for you to never leave him, for your soul to never leave your body and stay with him for the rest of his life.

His mother was right, he thought. He was all she said he was, and that hurt him. But it stung him even more when he knew how right she was about his short-lived being beloved. He was going to pull away from your hug and you would take a few more breaths, and that was it. And your worried face, frowning your expression as you couldn’t see what had taken over his lover this time, would become cold as marble.

“Please, please—I can’t live without you, not like this—not anymore”, he sobbed over your neck, sinking deeper into the embrace you would oh so tightly hold and hold —you wouldn’t let him go, not ever, not if you had the chance to. And Loki knew you would actually do it. He’d lose you because you would never agree to that, and with good reason.

“You don’t have to, I’m not leaving. I’m here, Loki. I’m here, love, and you’re alright. Deep breaths, breathe with me, love, come, breathe with me”, you helped him calm down, rubbing big circles on his back, your palms open and warm trying to cover the immensity of him compared to you.

There wasn’t a single moment where he could forget how fragile you were. How different your life span was compared to his —he wanted to give you all of his enormity, all of the years that wore too big on his bland and heavy life.

He couldn’t keep you by his side forever.

He could, on the other hand, keep you as far as he could manage to.

He was already stable, now. You cuddled him on the couch, weighted blanket surrounding his body, a few ice cubes inside a bag for his forehead and neck —you knew it would always make him feel less pushed, keeping his Aesir form costed an extra amount of energy he sometimes couldn’t handle to bare— and your hand kept brushing his hair, braiding it, letting him know he was safe.

He opened his eyes and there you were —an angel, a healer caring for his wounds. He sighed at your sight, and embarrassed himself for even thinking about it. No, no. Of course he would choose you. He would never choose the throne if he had to give you up. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

He raised a hand to cup your cheek.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered.

“Don’t be”, you assured.

“I… I have to ask”.

“Tell me”.

And so he asked,

“Would you, ever, at any given point of your life, want to have a child with me?”.

You stayed silent. You looked at him, every bit of his face, every expression that would tell you what he was actually thinking about. Why was he asking this now? After all of this? He knew the answer, why would he bring it up again?

And then it hit you.

“Your Mother was here”, you lowered your gaze. Your legs started bouncing.

“She was”.

“This is a condition”.

“It is”.

“Heir”.

“Not more and not less”.

“What will we do?”, you asked, raising your eyebrows. As you looked for Loki’s eyes to be wet, to have any emotion of regret, they weren’t. He was hiding them very well.

“We will stay here. No more trials. No more boring royal things for you to learn”.

“This can’t be possible”, you frowned in concern. “Loki, this is the thing you most want. You can’t give it up for this”.

“For what? For being with the love of my life? I certainly can and will”, he smiled. It was a sad smile, you noticed. His eyes couldn’t hide what his lips tried to. He noticed you didn’t believe him. “We’ve talked about this over and over. I will bargain more. But as for now, I can see the most likely option will be this one. I propose we get comfortable. You once talked about a house by the mountains and cats, right?”.

“Don’t change the topic, mister”, you frowned and he laughed. You hugged him tightly, and murmured in his ear “are you sure you want this?”.

“So, so sure, my little darling”.

(Taglist: @lucywrites02 , @louieboo87 , @the-departed-potato , @jesuswasnotawhiteman , @idontknow296 , @beksib , @spythoschei , @geekwritersworld , @whatafuckingdumbass , @mysticunicorn7 @shadowolf993 , @joscelyn02 , @t00-pi , @selfship-mishaps , @sallymagnoliaposts , @deadgirl88 , @enderslove)

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everythingharrypotterblog · 4 years ago

Text

charmed [7]: ‘night changes’ (remus lupin x reader)

a/n: i got rejected from my top choice university program today so if im gonna be unhappy, might as well make u guys happy and release parts 5 and 7

brief summary: y/n and remus are both teachers at hogwarts and this is his first transformation where he is under wolfsbane. y/n remains in human form as he transforms. werewolf or not, all y/n ever feels is him.

series summary: set in the prisoner of azkaban, including its major plot points. remus and y/n get hired by dumbledore last minute to teach at hogwarts, defense against the dark arts and charms respectively. not wanting the students to know they are married, they navigate the challenging year through hidden glances, hand holds underneath the table and loving moments in their offices. even with all their efforts to conceal their relationship, their chemistry does not go unnoticed by the student population of hogwarts, who grow fond of the pair as they offer them some of the best classes they’ve had in a while. their relationship as newlyweds is strengthened as teaching the next generation of wizards unlocks a sea of memories of their love story. for the second time in his life, remus holds hogwarts responsible for some of his happiest memories. he’s given the chance to create them with the love of his life, y/n, who has taught and continues to teach him that every part of him is lovable, remaining forever under her charm.

series masterlist here

join taglist here

previously, in part 1:

“No, you don’t understand, it’s incredibly, extremely dangerous for a human to be around a were-“ Remus had tried to say, before Y/N had stood up and with a crack, disappeared. A single white dove hovered where she had stood, its wings flapping slowly to stay afloat.

“Y/N?”

With a crack, Y/N had appeared again.

“I didn’t know you were an Animagus.”

Y/N grinned.

“What, you thought James, Sirius and Peter were the only ones to ever succeed at it?”

Remus still grimaced, shaking his head and looking down.

“It’s still too dangerous, I won’t risk it. I couldn’t possibly think of hurting you, I’m too dangerous-“

“Remus, stop it. You didn’t hurt Peter as a rat back in the day, you wouldn’t hurt a flinging bird either. Plus, I got a serious height advantage on you anyway.” Y/N raised her eyebrows at him teasingly, transforming back again into the dove and flying up to the ceiling. Lupin wasn’t convinced.

“Y/N, you shouldn’t-“

The dove reappeared as Y/N and kneeled between Lupin’s legs, taking his face into her hands carefully.

“Please? Let me be there for you. Let me try-“

“I-“ Remus winced in his crippling self-doubt.

“I promise, if I ever feel unsafe, I’ll fly away. I promise.”

Remus nodded. “I love you.”

Y/N was taken aback, but surged forward to press her lips against his.

“I love you too.”

It was the first time they had said that to each other.

The first full moon of the Hogwarts term was now but a day away. As it drew nearer, Remus got paler and grew more irritable, as it always was.

The students never noticed, as he remained their kind Professor Lupin to them. Remus valued the staff and Dumbledore in extremely high regard, so he mainly kept to himself to avoid conflict.

However, his short temper was not 100% appeasable.

He was presently in his office, leg anxiously bouncing. He couldn’t help but jitter as restless energy coursed through him. The door opened, and he jerked his head in its direction, to see Y/N walk in, slightly anxious as well.

“Hi, love.” She said, making her way to him.

“He’s late.” Remus muttered.

“It’s Albus Dumbledore, what do you expect- maybe he had a Wizarding War in Luxembourg to stop before this or something.” Y/N joked, dragging a chair beside her and taking Remus’ hand.

His leg stopped bouncing.

1980.

Remus sat in an armchair in the House of Black’s library, attempting to distract himself before the night would come, a transformation night.

Loud voices reverberated across the walls, and he usually wouldn’t have minded, but the full moon made him more irritable.

“Will you guys stop yelling!” He called out across the hallway to the room where James, Sirius and a couple other Order members were talking over each other.

Sirius shared a look with James and they shrugged, making a motion with their hand asking the others to lower their voices.

“Hi, guys!” In came Y/N’s voice, as she walked through the door after a day of work, setting down her jacket. She joined the table for a few snacks, before inquiring, “Where’s Remus?”

“Ah, in the library.” James said mindlessly, shuffling the pack of cards they were playing with. He spotted Y/N head for that direction, and attempted to add, “But I wouldn’t disturb him if I were-“

But Y/N already walked in the library, wanting to see her boyfriend. She found him buried in a book, sitting slightly uncomfortably in his clothes, as if his body was having pre-transformation aches.

“Hi, love.” She said gently.

Remus peered up from his book and instantly smiled, uncrossing his legs and patting at his lap. Y/N took a seat on him, and he wrapped his arms around her comfortably.

“How was work?” He grumbled, mouth kissing up her arm and shoulder.

“Oh, just the usual.”

He listened to her talk about her day, hugging her as she sat in his lap.

James heard faint sounds of their light voices from the other room, and laughed. Sirius shook his head, both of them amused by their friend’s drastic change in demeanor.

“Little fucker.”

Dumbledore appeared in Remus’ office not long after Y/N joined, with a goblet of familiar-looking blue smoke.

“Remus, Y/N. I took the liberty of bringing you your last dose myself, Severus has already done so much. So, you wanted to talk about the logistics of your upcoming transformation.”

Remus nodded, leaning forward and taking the potion.

“This is your first time with Wolfsbane, so we cannot be sure on how it will affect you. However, I trust that it has been brewed properly, so it should do its function, which is to maintain your mental state when you transform.”

“So technically, he could just stay and hide here in his office and wait for the night to be over?” Y/N asked Dumbledore, thumb rubbing over Remus’ hand.

“Yes. If the potion has been brewed correctly, which I am sure it has, Remus should transform into nothing but a harmless wolf. Of course, because this is your first time, if you still wish to go outside and-“

“Yes.” Remus interjected, once he finished the last of the potion. “I wish to still use the Whomping Willow, just to avoid all potential risk.”

“Very well.” Dumbledore smiled, bowing his head. “I have complete trust in you, so you do as you please.”

“And I should… I won’t forget who I am, I won’t lose my mind?” Remus asked.

“No.” Dumbledore confirmed. “Your mental state will stay intact.”

“Then, I can technically be in human form with him.” Y/N gasped as the idea jumped into her head. She was immediately met with startled looks from both Dumbledore and Remus, Dumbledore merely intrigued and Remus looking downright terrified. “I mean, I could be with him. Me, a human.” She added hastily.

Glancing at Remus’ fervently opposed look, Dumbledore merely stood up.

“I will leave that between you two to discuss. Goodnight, and good luck.” He said. “Oh! And one more thing.”

His eyes twinkled. “I hear talk amongst the students since the start of term. About you two.”

Remus and Y/N looked at each other nervously.

“Something about spotting their Charms and Defence teachers always being present in each other’s offices…”

Y/N mouth dropped in shock, trying to figure out how students could even know where they spent their nights, before Dumbledore laughed heartily, shaking his head.

“I kid, I kid, I have heard nothing of the sort. All that has reached my ears are the raving comments about your classes and subjects. Keep up the good work, Professors.” Dumbledore chuckled, and vanished into the fireplace.

Y/N stared dumbfounded at the spot he disappeared, before letting out a laugh.

“I-“ She blinked. “He is so weird, and can you believe, I almost let slip that I’m an Animagus-“

She stopped once she looked at her husband, whose expression was grave.

“Wha-“

“You cannot stay in human form with me.” He shook his head.

Y/N stayed silent for a second. “Why not? If this potion works, and we know it will, your-“

“We can’t be too sure!” Remus sighed. “Werewolves, we hunt for humans. We look for victims to bite, to… to-“

“If the potion doesn’t work, then I’ll just transform into a dove, like always.”

Remus met her eyes in a worried gaze.

“I’ve been a bird countless of times on your transformations, you’re still gonna let me do that, are you?” Y/N raised her eyebrows. “You even said, werewolves look for humans, animal companions are harmless-“

“Which is exactly why you can’t be in human form, darling! The extreme danger that would put you in, you have no idea.”

“I have no idea?” Y/N pursed her lips, instinctively reaching out to her bicep, on which lay a tiny white scar.

Remus glanced at it too, with almost hatred and remorse in his eyes, as he sighed, hand tracing over it and kissing it.

“Maybe you should transform right now, my love.” Remus said anxiously as he, Y/N, James, Sirius and Peter walked through an abandoned part of the woods.

The sky was dark, and the clouds radiated a faint shimmer indicating the full moon would appear soon.

“I won’t transform until I absolutely need to.” Y/N said firmly, hand holding onto Remus’ tightly.

“She’ll follow our lead, Moony, don’t worry.” Sirius said.

Unintentionally, they stopped at a small hill, deeming the timing to be right.

“Y/N, it’s not too late, you could just Disapparate away, I-“ Remus said to Y/N.

“Remus. Stop. I’m not scared.” Y/N smiled at him, cupping his cheek. “You’re still you. And I love you, all parts of you. Nothing will change that, or you and me.”

Remus nodded, breathing quickly and pulled her in for a kiss, before the other Marauders beckoned Y/N to back away slightly as the moon started to peak.

The night changed in an instant.

The opal orb shone in the sky and in the moonlight, Y/N watched as Remus’ tall silhouette trembled, his body morphing into a werewolf.

Y/N was in awe. His body lengthened. His shoulders were hunching. Hair sprouted visibly from his head and neck and his hands curled into clawed paws. Straightening up, he howled to the sky, the sound echoing into the rest of the night.

Y/N’s mind went blank. The Marauders had transformed as she kept her eye on Remus. For a second, the werewolf’s eyes met hers, but before she could do anything, he lunged for her.

Adrenaline shot through her body as the werewolf made a swipe towards her, a big black dog jumping in between them just in time for Remus’ sharp claw to slightly graze her shoulder before she transformed with a crack, into a dove and flew up, batting her wings.

“I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.” Remus whispered painfully, finger tracing over the small permanent scratch near Y/N’s shoulder.

“But I’m fine.” Y/N pursed her lips, eyes looking into Remus’ face imploringly. “Because I knew that it wasn’t you. And after the night ended, you cared for me so tenderly and lovingly. Gently. Because that is the real you.”

Remus soaked a warm towel for the millionth time as he sat Y/N on the toilet next to the sink to tend the small scratch she had acquired from him.

“Rem, it’s okay, do you realize that I’ve broken literal bones before! This is nothing.” Y/N said, letting him clean the patch of skin before taking both of his hands in hers. He kneeled in between her legs.

“I could never forgive myself for this, I’m so sorry-“

“Please. In the best way possible, shut up.” Y/N smiled, eyes welling up at the unnecessary look of remorse plaguing Remus’ face. “That wasn’t you. And nothing that I saw or felt last night changes who you are to me now.”

“You don’t…see me as a monster? You don’t even feel a tiny bit scared being with me right now?” Remus teared up.

Y/N smiled, eyes crinkling and letting tears fall down her cheeks. “I just feel you.”

Y/N woke up from her nap the night of the full moon to find Remus’ side of the bed empty. Eventually, she had gotten Remus to agree to let her accompany him as she always did, but in human form this time.

Getting up, she spotted Remus already at the door. She crossed her arms.

“Are you running away?” Y/N frowned, her husband jumping at getting caught.

“No, I-I figured I’d head out earlier.”

Y/N walked towards him, squeezing his shoulders.

“We talked about this. It’ll be okay.” Y/N reassured him. She saw the fear still in his eyes but he nodded, blinking some away and reaching to get Y/N’s coat for her.

They walked in the chilly night air, making their way to the Forest. Although this felt completely new, they had never done this at Hogwarts and they were expecting new results tonight, there was also a sense of déjà-vu present in the air.

Y/N had been helping Remus with every one of his transformations during their entire marriage and before, ever since she was 18. It’s been almost 13 years that they were in this together.

We're only gettin' older, baby

And I've been thinkin' about it lately

“Thank you for being here.” Remus said, squeezing her hand. “And I don’t just mean tonight.”

Y/N squeezed it back tightly, beaming at him. The moon was close to being fully out, and they stopped on a small hill overlooking Hagrid’s Hut where it would appear in full view.

Does it ever drive you crazy

Just how fast the night changes?

“Remember, if I make any sudden moves, you transform on the spot, okay?” Remus looked down at her, eyes full of conviction. Y/N nodded.

They both stood there, waiting, anticipation through the roof. They felt nauseous, from nervousness. The clouds began to fade, and more moonlight shined onto them. Slowly, they let go of each other’s hands and took a couple steps back from each other.

Everything that you've ever dreamed of

Disappearing when you wake up

The first beam of light hit Remus as the full moon emerged.

But there's nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

His neck began elongating, thick hair growing from his head and covering his back. His shoulders hunched as he grew taller, breaking through the material of his clothes.

It will never change, baby

Y/N watched from a short distance as Remus morphed into a towering creature. Her incantation was ready in her head, just in case she had to transform into the dove.

It will never change, baby

Slowly, the full-fledge werewolf straightened up from its hunched over position. His eyes met Y/N’s and her body tensed, remembering. Instead of lunging at her, he sat down, his human-like eyes expressing gentleness. Y/N took a tiny step towards him.

“Remus?” She said, voice trembling.

The werewolf nodded.

Taking steps closer, she shakily got down onto her knees to join him on the ground. She lifted a hand, tentatively, and inch by inch, approached it to cup his cheek. At the contact, they both breathed out in relief.

“I just feel you.” Y/N smiled, tears flowing from her eyes.

It will never change me and you.

to be continued

a/n: as always i’d love to hear what u thought or what ud like to see of the series:)

tags @bicyhot1 @pink-hufflepuff @legitlaughingflamingo @brod16 @gerardonmyway @blueleonor @suranne-doesstuff @rxmusblxck @spxllcxstxr @littleemo477 @just12randomfandoms @svnkissdd @norrreee @m4r13l3y @jess6578 ��@rorysreallyrandom @the-nightingale-not-the-lark @archeve19 @wolfstarslovechild @pan-pride-12 @x4kai4x @chrrybmb-mp3 @reggieluna @happyslittlekitten @missemilygilmore @all-things-fictional @strangefirething @abitofeverythinggg @yeahshewayout @imfreeeeeee123 @harold-pothead @lunnybunny12 @ellieblack11 @tugabooos @joyfulbiscuit @justonemorechapter07 @wonderwoman292 @skateb0red @secretsthathauntus @siriusblackswhoree @sabonbonn @untraveled-road @annabeljareau @valiantobservationkitty @diffbeanofbrand @theeicedamericano @spencerreidlove @flannellover67 @wishiwasdeadric @becks7401 @katsav17 @emmy-kitty13 @purritoqueen @girl22334 @monicafebyana @talsiaa @sierrax023 @axva03 @uhh-dk @nataliahgrace

#remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #Professor Remus Lupin #professor lupin x reader #professor! reader #charmed

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lunaekalenda · 4 years ago

Note

hi!! can i ask for either an eren or porco x reader fic where their titan form saves you from nearly dying during a battle and they get mad at you afterwards because they’re obviously not gonna be there all the time then when you apologize they end up breaking down because their afraid of losing you and it just ends in fluff 👉🏻👈🏻

OMG OMG wait this is gold!! that was a really good plot!! i had a hard time deciding, but i'm more into porco lately, so this time i'll be using him for my first fic! i hope you like it and sorry for the errors or the things that were different to the original ask :( (*´-`) this takes place in one of the battles Marley fights against another enemy, but I will not follow the line of the original manga :D (also thanks to @breathes24 for refreshing my memory :D)

𝔰𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔶𝔬𝔲

❁ porco x reader

❁ mention of blood and battle, mention of the extraction of a bullet, bad talking. shingeki s4 spoilers!

The only thing you could hear were shots. You kept running, your feet hurted and the backpack was really heavy. Running in the middle of the battlefield was a suicide mission, you knew it, but you were not going to leave all in Pieck's and Porco's hands. So, trying to avoid the shots, you keep runing. You can see Pieck's bag shooting and Porco running from one machine to another, trying to break them with his hardened claws. You look around, the corpses of your companions scattered across the field, along with some enemies. You try to concentrate in what you’re trying to do. The kids are safe in the trench, and you’re not a soldier of valor, you only have nursing knowledge, useless for the fight.

That’s why the commander has not hesitated to send you as a distraction.

“If you expose yourself as an easy target, they will probably have to divide their attention between them and you. Also, they know there are nine Changing Titans, but they don’t know exactly how many of them we have. They could think you’re one of them. That will make Zeke’s appearance more unexpected for them, you see?”

"Where the hell is Zeke?" you think. He should be here helping, a lot of eldians have died. a scream is heard and you identify it as a Titan's one. Pieck received a shot on her hand. She's losing her strength little by little. Porco keeps fighting, and Pieck’s support soldiers do a great job mastering the cannons, trying to hit the enemies. Reiner is trying to stop their train.

"Just wait a bit, guys. I'm almost there..." you enter the enemy side of the field. Your trench looks empty, because your army blindly believes in titans. But, like humans, their stamina is limited, and transforming takes a great deal of energy.

"There's one of them!!" someone yells in front of you. "She could be the Beast Titan, kill her before she reaches the other two!" all the soldiers can be heard loading their shotguns.

The first shot impacts on the floor. The second, near you. You just have an option: keep running, faster.

You accelerate the step to the front, where big war machines are searching you. From the trench, a lot of soldiers are trying to kill you, failing due to the poor visibility they have, but it's a matter of time before those who run the tanks finds you.

This is the end.

The shots are every time more precise, but you can’t return and leave them alone, waiting for Zeke to make his appearance.

You have no scape.

You close your eyes, accepting the destiny, while you keep running. You can hear them charging their big machines. They found you.

You’re their target now.

A Titan's scream is heard, right before the order of the enemy captain.

"Fire!"

You open your eyes when a shot impacts on your leg, and you watch how they charge the canons, ready to kill you. Now you have zero scape way, you’re hurt and you can’t move.

Suddenly, the Jaw Titan appears and, opening his mouth, picks you up off the ground, locking you in his hardened jaw. His speed of movement allows him to easily dodge all shots.

"Thanks, Pock."

A tremor and the sound of lightning tells that Zeke has already arrived to help.

He keeps runing, and then all you can hear are rocks hitting people, trains and houses. Zeke’s titan may be slow for running, but his pitches are deadly. Your leg hurts where the bullet went through, and the pants you’re using are covered with blood.

“Just leave me here and return. I don’t want them to lose because of me.”

He ignored what you said and kept running, but slowing down. Probably he’s tired, he has been fighting for hours.

Once you two are far enough from the battlefield, Porco turns right and you recognize the path he has been taking. We’re close to the residence. He opens his mouth and you go down to the floor, but your leg complains of the roughness of the movement. Then, his Titan falls, and he appears behind it. He seems angry.

"What the hell were you doing there?" he says. His Titan is steaming.

"I wanted to help you, you were doing all the work... The commander told me to help and I thought it was a good idea." Porco looks at you without saying anything for a minute. Then, he sighs and looks at your bleeding leg, before coming towards you. His arm slips under your knees carefully, and the other rests on your back, before he lifts you. “I can walk, you don’t have to...”

“You have a fucking bullet inside, just take help for one damn time.” You decided to shut up and he enters the residence. “I have some medical stuff in my room, I’ll take you there.” He starts to walk up the stairs, heading to his room. There are a few doctors on their daily check of the injured soldiers that live here. He opens his door using his foot, and he enters. His room is clean and clear. Natural light comes in through the window, and a bedside lamp lights up the corner of hi bed. He leaves you in the bed before walking to his personal bathroom, from where he takes a medicine cabinet. Porco drags a chair to place it near the bed, making him able to treat your leg. He hasn’t talk since we arrived here, but he keeps frowning.

“We didn’t need help” He says after cutting your pants at the height of the wound. Then, Porco opens the medicine cabinet, and takes out thread, needle and some surgical tweezers. The scalpel glows when he pulls it out.

“Maybe this hurts a bit.” He whispers. He prepares also a towel with some water. “Grab that pillow and use it to muffle your screams.” You do what he said, and you put his pillow on your face. It smells like him, and it comforts you a lot. He works fast, moving his fingers with precision, and extracting the bullet without problem. Once he’s finished, he saves everything back in place and offers you a glass of water. You’re dizzy from the pain and you needed to drink, so you thank him and drink.

“Do it slow or you’ll be feeling worst, idiot.” he scolds tou. You drink it slower and you take a breath once you’re finished.

“Thanks” He puts the glass on the table he has as a desk.

“Well, I...”

“You could have died out there” he says. He’s not looking at you, and runs his hand through his hair. “You were about to die.”

“Thanks for that, you saved me”

“I’m not going to last forever, you know? Someday I’ll die, and I’m not going to be there to save you like all the other times. So start thinking about surviving and stop playing the heroine.”

“Sorry?”

Why was he so pissed off? You didn’t ask for his help.

“I don't have to take care of you every time we go out onto the battlefield”

“Stop doing it, then”

“It's called companionship, but it only works if everyone focuses on surviving and not in saving stupid death-hugging soldiers”

“I never asked you to save me.” The words come out on their own before you could stop them. That was very rude, you’re ungrateful. He looks at you in the eyes, but you can't tell how he feels.

“Cool, next time I'll take care of my business and let you die, if that’s what you want.”

He’s hurt. You hurt him because you were getting nervous.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean anything that I said. I was getting anxious...”

He sighs. “I also talked badly to you.”

“But you’re right. I can’t survive by myself.”

“I didn’t mean to say that.” His voice is losing strength, and his gaze is lowered. “It’s just... I thought that today I was losing you, I was not going to be able to arrive on time” his voice breaks while he talks. “I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you”

You looked at him surprised. “To me? Who cares about me? Maybe it’s because we trained together since kids.” You think for yourself, before speaking.

“Well, I know you care for all of us, but Pock yo...”

“You’re not getting it.” He says. Then he leans over to the bed. “I care for you. I care a lot. I can’t imagine if something bad happens to you. I’m always near in case I have to help you. I can only thing about your wellness.” His brown eyes are fixed on yours. “Please, don’t do that again.” His eyes are getting wet. “Just the idea of losing you terrifies me.” His hand sits on your back, and draws you to him. You’re speechless.

You have always been interested in Porco. When you first met him, you thought he was really handsome, and his personality made you think of him as unattainable. You two have been training together since kids. He was really good in all skills, and you were really bad. He helped you a couple times, but you ended in the nursery school. You started to lose contact, but then he inherited the Jaw Titan and wasn’t sent to Paradis, so you both coincide again. He is a man now, even more attractive than before, but with a somewhat shocking personality. So listen him saying this things makes your heart shudder.

“Pock, I...”

“I like you. Well, I think this is no more just attraction.” he whispers. “I guess I’m in love with you.”

That hit you like a train. His love for you was behind all the times he saved you, the times he helped you and the times he reprimanded you. He was moved by love, genuine concern.

“Are you crying?” he separates you from his body to look at your face. Tears roll down your cheeks fast. Porco places his hands on both sides of your face, dabbing them dry with his thumbs. Your hands are placed on top of his, and you lean your head towards his touch.

“I also love you, Pock” he smiles before kissing your forehead. “Since we were kids”

“You know that if you had said it before, I would have corresponded long ago” you laugh quietly, his thumbs tracing circles on your skin. “I can’t promise you a long life together, but if you accept the little that I can offer, I’ll be delighted to be with you.”

His lips place a soft kiss on your hair and you hug him.

“I will be happy to be with you, Pock.”

The room was silent, and you could only listen to his heartbeat, slow, because he has you on his arms, alive. You look at him, his handsome face looking you.

“Does that mean I can ask you to going out later” he laughs.

“I just took out a bullet from your leg, you have to rest.” you smirk.

“I live in the other part of the city. I can’t walk.”

“I’ll call a horse cart for you.”

He was having fun, dodging every possible way to spend time together that night.

“What if my leg hurts? I live alone.” you tried and, for your surprise, he smiled.

“Then I guess you need someone to take care of you tonight...”

His lips covered yours sweetly, and you thought you could get used to it.

To him.

165 notes · View notes

ressjeon · 4 years ago

Text

ghost of you | jhs

pairing: jung hoseok x female reader

summary: he keeps begging you to go, but you insist on staying

genre: childhood best friend!au, angst, slow burn, drama, little bit of fluff

warnings: implied smut (brief affair), swearing, alcohol consumption

word count: 12k (whoops more than planned)

a/n: so this is my very first full fic whew. there’s been last minute changes so I procrastinated but do listen to the song of the same title by 5 Seconds of Summer while reading this :)

and since this is VERY late from his birthday i just decided to submit it to @houseofddaeng’s Happy Hobiuary event this year and i chose a comeback look with my favourite hair colour on him, this was from the Euphoria MV ❤️

Clearing your throat, you got the attention of everyone at the table. Now all eyes on you, you feel your confidence starting to falter. Who fucking cares, this monthly dinner with Hoseok's family is the best time for this.

"Um..so me and Hobi were thinking.." you eyed Hoseok beside you to help you continue explaining what you both have been planning for weeks.

"Y/N and I are thinking of getting a house together" Hoseok smiled back at you and you flushed.

"You wanna live together! Omg my ship is sailing!" Hoseok's sister Jiwoo is squealing while poking your sides. You just glared at her, eyeing her to stop just in case Hoseok catches on.

"N-no, not like that, we'll share a house near our campus" you clarified but the knowing look from your Mom is making you nervous, she can always read you. "Yeah, cause the dorms in uni are separated but we don't want to live apart" Hoseok chimed in cheerfully, putting an arm around your shoulder.

"Well then, of course. Who are we to stop you both" Hoseok's Dad smiled at you both and you felt his Mom's teasing eyes when you nuzzled into Hoseok's side. Your parents have not said anything and you contemplated asking, now anxiously holding Hoseok's hand beside you. His parents looked at yours hopefully and then your Dad finally decided to face you both.

"You both are now adults so do whatever you want" a look of surprise etched up on your face and you resisted to smile broadly, maintaining your cool exterior when you're actually screaming inside of happiness.

You can't help but think that this could possibly help you develop your relationship with Hoseok on another level.

After settling down, things are going well with you and Hoseok welcoming freshman year of university together. You're just glad that he never changed despite him gaining more friends because of his bright personality.

Meanwhile, you're the opposite. Literally people avoid you when they see you or seem hesitant every time you make a conversation which is bs so you eventually give up on making new friends. Hoseok once told you that you have this “hostile” aura, though he tried to convince you to still try but you don’t care anymore. Him has always been enough.

Most people wonder how you and Hoseok are best friends because of how opposite the two of you are. There is one thing that you and Hoseok share a hobby though, dancing. Which is why after the house was purchased, you both decided to transform the basement into a mini dance studio, it’s literally just a room with full wall mirrors and of course, only his family supported the idea.

"We'll pay you back after we graduate, promise!" you giggled excitedly, both of your hands clasping together, thanking Hoseok’s parents for being supportive. Finally you can dance freely now that you are out of your parents' lair, they were never supportive of you venturing in the arts anyways.

Though you haven't actually delved into dancing fully, Hoseok knows how good you are since every time he sees you secretly practicing, he always gets mesmerized with your moves. You've never taken any dance lessons and yet you're already this good, a natural hence why Hoseok decided that he’s gonna help you in going back to it fully this time.

"Let's choreograph a dance together" Hoseok beamed at you while you both are eating breakfast one morning.

"Wait what? Why all of a sudden?" you pouted, looking at him in confusion. Though his idea is amazing, you're not sure if you're good enough compared to Hoseok. He's dancing skills are out of this world with years of professional experience and you're just, well, you who only dances for fun.

"Why not? Y/N you're naturally talented you know, I don't know why you can't see it" Hoseok smiled warmly at you and reached out to hold your hand across the countertop. You almost choked with your toast when you looked at his eyes so you covered it with a cough.

"Pshh fine, be patient with me okay? I'm not as good as you" you jokingly glared at him, snatching back your hand. You hope that the shade of the morning sunlight is covering your blush cause you definitely felt your cheeks heating up.

Yeah you have feelings for him. Yeah you love him, so what? It's not like you can stop yourself in developing them. You tried but with a guy like Hoseok, that's impossible. Though you've been planning to confess, you just don't have the perfect timing yet.

After a few weeks, you are planning to confess to Hoseok tonight so you texted him to meet at your favorite restaurant at 8pm. You said it's your treat so he promised to be there, I mean he never breaks his promises anyways.

You're feeling jumpy for the first time, well it's different since it's Hoseok. After years of keeping your feelings, you're finally ready to tell him. Funny how brave you are in everything else except for this one, you smiled to yourself. You were early at the restaurant and laughed at yourself. Okay maybe you're too excited on what's going to happen tonight. Minutes passed after 8 and he still hasn't come so you readied yourself while waiting for him.

He's late, I mean you shouldn't be panicking since it's only been a couple of minutes but you can't help getting worried so you texted him. You mentally giggled, adoring the cute nickname you have for him that you only change when you’re alone. You always set it back to “Hoseok” afterwards in case he calls you in public, especially at uni.

[Hobi loml <3: Hobi are you almost here?]

You didn't wanna be too pushy. One text is enough and you took a deep breath while waiting for him. The waiter stopped by but you dismissed him saying that your companion will be here any minute now.

45 minutes have passed and he's still not here. You waited for more and it’s now 9:30 so you’re agitated now.

[Hobi loml <3: Hobi? Are you still coming?]

When you didn't get a reply, you smiled bitterly and just asked the same waiter to take out the food you ordered. He looked at you sympathetically but good thing he didn't say anything.

Arriving at your shared home, you noticed that the lights were off. So he’s not even home, where tf could he possibly be at this hour. Just when you were about to call him, you received a text from Hoseok but a guy named Jimin is telling you that Hoseok is with them and that he would be staying the night at the boys’ dormitory.

So not only he forgot the formal dinner you prepared but he stood you up, basically ditching you to be with his new friends. He broke his promise..

You’re wondering if this is only the beginning of him breaking his promises to you.

A few months after that night, you notice that there’s something changing in Hoseok. You barely see him anymore since he spends a lot of time now with his other friends, but at least he still comes home at night and treats you the same. You’ve been waiting for a perfect time but you don’t want to delay your confession any longer so you decided to corner him one night after dinner.

“Hoseok, can we talk?” you muttered and he eyed you curiously.

“About what? And why are you fidgeting?” he coaxes you on, raising his eyebrows.

You straightened yourself and reached out to hold both of his hands, clutching them tightly.

Then staring into his eyes, you poured all your emotions on them as you declared what’s been deep down your heart for so many years.

“I like you, Hoseok�� you smiled lovingly at him while his eyes widened in complete shock. His silence along with puzzled eyes looking back at you is making your heartbeat faster every second of him not doing anything.

“Y/N..” his voice came out unsure, I mean his face gave it all so now you’re very nervous.He probably thinks you’re just playing around and you’re getting restless.

“Hoseok, I’m serious okay?” you try to sound determined though your confidence is slowly dissipating.

Back in silence, you can tell he’s been trying to be careful with his words, maybe to try not to hurt you. God if he rejects you-

“I don’t know what to say, uhm..thanks?” if this is in another situation you would’ve thought how adorable he is scratching the back of his head.

Hoseok doesn’t know how to respond to you. He knows you’re usually upfront in most things but he didn’t expect this from you. He’s literally clueless on what to say but you’re his best friend so he trusts you.

What the hell got into you to think that a confession would be so simple. Well, you just decided to break the usual “I’ve been in love with my best friend for so long but I don’t want to ruin our friendship” thing. Not that there’s wrong with that, it’s very hard for some people to do so. So here you are, just finished confessing your feelings to your best friend and for the first time you’re nervous around him.

“Was I supposed to say ‘you’re welcome’?” you huffed, trying to act dismissive. “So what’s your answer? Again I told you I wasn’t joking, I like you Hoseok”. He gulped, you only use his real name when you’re very serious but he literally thought you were trying to prank him earlier or something.

“Uhm, can you give me some time?” he looks at you with hopeful eyes.

Fuck. You’re making him uncomfortable. Fuck.

“Shit, Hobi I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” he cuts you off before you can even continue.

“No, no, it’s not that.. It’s just-” he paused and breathed deeply, gathering his thoughts.

“I totally understand if-” you’re already panicking given that you're now speaking faster than usual.

“I’m not really sure how to be in a relationship, there.” He blurted, letting out a deep sigh that made you pause. You didn’t expect he would be just honest about the real reason at the moment so you smiled at him.

“It’s okay Hobi, we can take it slow and-” you’re already saying too much but who cares, it’s not like he rejected you so there must be something, right?

“Look, um I can’t give you a real answer yet but I trust you so I want us to give a chance ‘kay?” his tone shifting softly while shuffling your hair, walking away outside after.

You pouted but nodded anyways. Hoseok’s glad that he got out of the conversation smoothly, at least now he’s relieved since you’re back to calling him “Hobi”.

Honestly, he’s happy knowing about your feelings for him. Smiling brightly at the night sky outside in the backyard of your shared home, thinking how he made his ever-confident best friend nervous just for a confession.

A ding from his phone pulled him out from his reverie,

[Unknown: We need to talk. Answer me or else she’ll know ;)]

Hoseok already knows who this is, given that he had blocked her numbers for a while now. He just didn’t expect that she’ll go this far, even going after you now. He just hopes this would be like the other warnings that he was able to handle.

[Unknown: image.]

[Unknown: Still not gonna answer me? You have a day <3]

He couldn't move from where he’s standing, staring at his phone in shock. This couldn't be happening, despite his confusion earlier you actually made his day better (as usual) but he doesn't know if he will be for yours after this anymore. Still staring at the text, Hoseok couldn’t think straight after what he just read. He’s hoping it’s not real, praying to all the gods out there that it's not what he thinks it is.

[Him: Fine. Let’s meet at the nearest cafe, don’t you dare do something]

[Unknown: Yay! Can’t wait to see you, good night <3]

Retreating for the night he passed by your bedroom, only to see you asleep on your desks with some unfinished homework and he smiled, you’ve always looked beautiful even when you’re sleeping. He chuckled by himself at how adorable you are, with your habit of not locking your door when you're busy.

Waiting at the said cafe felt like eons for Hoseok. He's mostly nervous because of the texts, especially that image. Getting absorbed in his thoughts he didn't realize the pair of arms that’s latching on his shoulders from behind and he jerked in surprise.

"Hobi! Did you miss me?" a high-pitched voice startled him and looked up sideways to see a pretty girl with an innocent looking face, ironically."Don’t call me that" he released a defeated sigh, yanking his arms from her hold.

Ahn Sohye, the girl who’s been going after him since the start of the school year that he has been desperately avoiding. Hoseok's bracing himself to whatever craziness she has in for him this time, doing his best to focus in order to get the clarification he’s been wanting.

“Awee why that face? And what? Cause Y/N’s the only one allowed to call you that?” Sohye scoffed, a tone of jealousy in her voice. Hoseok just frowned at her and was about to leave but her expression quickly changed, a sly smile towards him with warning eyes.

“Look!” her demeanour suddenly changed as she eagerly handed him a printed picture, and time stopped immediately.

An ultrasound picture.

No.

no,no,no,no.

“What the fuck is this?” he hissed at her, incredulous eyes now mixed with anger.

“Our little one of course” she squealed excitedly, batting her lashes at him.

“Stop fucking around with me Sohye, this isn’t funny anymore” Hoseok’s usually calm but his patience have been tested for weeks already and it’s getting worse but this one is beyond anything the girl has done before.

“Why are you so concerned anyways?” Hoseok gave her a look and she smiled mischievously. He went silent, eyes skeptical.

“Ah, her.” she quipped, a smile not faltering and that made Hoseok uneasy.

He’s having a hard time adjusting to everything. Is he really going to be a dad? Not that he hates kids but why does it have to be now? After you confessed? Everything’s been going well for him, for you both.

“This is the last straw Sohye, don’t you dare” Hoseok grits his teeth. You can’t find out about this. You just can’t. The memory of your saddened expression because of his lack of response suddenly flashed through his eyes. He doesn't wanna let you down any more than you already are.

“Why not? Won’t she support you? You guys are best friends after all” she mused. Yes, both you and Hoseok have been since you were little, but something definitely shifted from the platonic feelings he had for you after that night. He still wants to wait it out to be sure, but it’s definitely more than how normal friends would feel and apparently you are already feeling it way longer than him and he didn’t even ask when so now he feels way worse than before.

“You don’t understand, we-” Hoseok paused. He doesn’t want her to know, though there’s no point since Sohye seems to be getting the message already. He just didn’t want to show any signs that will confirm her suspicions.

“It’s not mine. No way in hell that’s mine” Hoseok’s rambling to himself in distress, he doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince other than himself.

“Of course it’s yours, that party remember? 2 months ago?” she cooed at him. His eyebrows are creasing together trying to rack his memory of what party Sohye is talking about.

“I don’t think you would remember any of it, you were very drunk” she giggled and that caused Hoseok to pale. That one party was hosted by one of Taehyung’s friends where he got so drunk that he didn’t remember anything the next day.

“No, that’s impossible. Taehyung told me I didn’t do anything rash that night”. Hoseok’s fidgeting right now. He’s usually careful, but that night his tolerance seems to get the best of him. Then he started remembering bits of pieces back...

“Hey, you’re the one who dragged me to the bed you know” she smirked, winking at him.“Why the fuck would I want you in bed with me?” he noticed his voice getting louder, as he was looking around the cafe people are already giving weird looks at their table.

“Here, watch” her smile, still annoyingly on like all of what she’s been planning this whole time has finally come to fruition.

A video. A fucking video taken by Sohye herself, but camera was on Hoseok only for the entire time. Of him calling her your name. Of him babbling about what he feels when you’re around. Of him letting all his emotions out in the open. He thought she was you, he was only seeing you when he’s drunk.

He’s speechless. He can’t think of what to respond to that one now. Sure the pictures can easily be dismissed but this video, this damn video is making him more helpless than he’s ever been already.

“So you see Hoseok, you can’t run away from me now” still frozen in his place he didn’t even swat her hand that she put them on top of him.

Meanwhile, you were just outside the cafe witnessing all of these happening. It’s not like you followed him here, you just happened to pass by since you’re going for groceries which is on the next block.

You know your best friend from the back of your hand. You can recognize him anywhere since you both have been inseparable ever since. So when you noticed his figure inside the cafe with someone, your heart clenched.

“Is he on a date?” you murmured to yourself. Is he? But why? You just confessed last night didn’t you? Is that why he didn’t give you an answer? Cause he’s already seeing someone and just didn’t want to hurt you? You recoil at the thought of him subtly rejecting you.

Hoseok couldn’t help but look sideways through the glass wall beside him to calm down and noticed someone standing there, looking straight at him.

He instantly jerked when he recognized it’s you.

You. Standing there, facing him and Sohye but now hurriedly leaving. He yanked his hands from her hold and immediately busted out through the door, hoping to catch you.

You don’t know why you started walking faster the moment he looked back at you from inside the cafe. Why the fuck were you even so obvious? He must think you’ve been spying on him or something.

“Y/N!” his voice is so loud calling you, but agitated. Hoseok doesn’t know why he suddenly has an urge to explain to you. To explain that what you saw was nothing to worry about.

You were fiddling your phone, pretending to look for something online when you felt his hand on your shoulder. Composing yourself, you faced him with a “surprise” look.

“Hobi, hi! I was going to get some groceries, do you want something specific?” you’ve put up a great acting which made Hoseok wonder if he was only imagining what he saw earlier.

“Uh, just buy my usual favorites hehe” his voice full of uncertainty. So he did really see you earlier lurking at him and his date. And Hoseok being Hoseok, didn’t confront you about it.

“Hobi! Wait for me” a woman’s voice suddenly interrupted you both and Hoseok paled as soon as he saw Sohye walking towards you both.

Please not now, please not yet-

“Oh you’re with someone” you’re trying to keep your voice neutral despite wanting to scream in frustration at the moment. You’re not gonna cry, you were never a crier anyways. No fucking way you’ll cry in front of Hoseok and his date.

You feel betrayed, even if Hoseok doesn’t owe you anything. It’s not like he answered you, did he? So he can do anything he wants to do, go on dates even if you already told him how you feel.

“Y-Y/N, it’s-” before Hoseok could explain the girl already gave out her hand to shake yours.

“It’s Sohye, Hoseok’s girlfriend”. She smiled at you, a knowing one. You know her of course, she’s the majority of Hoseok’s daily complaints to you since the beginning of the semester last year so now you’re really wondering how they are together now.

You stiffened. Your expression must be wavering since Hoseok tried to reach for you but she's already clinging into his arms to stop him.

You can’t crumble like this, you already looked pathetic from confessing to someone who’s already taken. But then it’s not like you know right? Hoseok would’ve told you the moment you confessed but he didn’t so maybe they JUST got together earlier inside?

“Uh Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N” you’re trying your best to show your most kindest smile even though they came out strained since you’re already dying inside.“Oh I know, Hobi told me a lot of things about you” she smiled at you, a feign one you see.

“Y/N-” you decided to cut him off, clearly you’ve interrupted something very important for them.

“I’m sorry I really have to go now, see you at home later Hoseok” you didn’t even look at his eyes and just turned away without letting him respond.

Hoseok’s distressed. He just hurt you again, and your expression earlier was even worse than the last time he saw you with it.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He’s a fucking coward and he knows it. He’s too nice to the point that his indecisiveness is causing the most important person of his life in pain.

“Why did you tell her that you’re my girlfriend when you’re clearly not? He barked but Sohye just laughed at him mockingly.

“Are you kidding me? You’re the father of my child so obviously you’re my boyfriend now” she retorted and Hoseok scoffed. “I’m not your fucking boyfriend and you better clarify it with Y/N”. He’s on edge right now, he knows what you’re feeling and he knows for sure that you’re mad at him.

“Anyways, I’ll update you later bye” and she kissed him on the cheek.

The thing is, you saw everything though. After turning around when you’re supposed to be going to the convenience store, you hid at the corner of the street. To watch them, to torture yourself even more.And when you saw Sohye left a kiss on his cheek while he’s still lost in thought, you finally left.

Arriving at the convenience store, you pulled your hoodie up trying to cover your face as much as you can. Don’t want any strangers looking at you weirdly while shopping with tears. After grabbing necessities, you proceeded to the meat section to get pork slices since Hoseok loves bulgogi. Your tears started to fall through after staring at the couple of sliced pork packs that reminded you of when you and him were having a picnic at the park.

You remember Hoseok doing the barbecues and you just stared at him the whole time, until this day you still wonder if he knew about you ogling him before. Staring at him while he’s cooking made you realize how in love you are with this boy. Not because of his handsome face but because of how he is naturally him. How his smile always brightens you up. How his sweet and caring nature made it really hard for you to quell what you feel for him anymore.

After Sohye left, Hoseok immediately went to the convenience store and saw you at the cash register, ready to pay. He cuts you off before you give out your card, “Here, I’ll pay” with a crooked heart shaped smile directly at you. Though you noticed the simmering guilt in his eyes.

“No Hobi, you paid last time so just let me” your voice came out colder than you intended it to be that made Hoseok more guilty.

The cashier was looking at you both and snickered “So who’s going to pay? I’m all for equality and shit but just decide. You young couples are always complicated” she groaned.

Both you and Hoseok are stunned with the lady’s insinuation, well obviously you can’t believe you were still blushing so you're thankful that your face is semi-covered.

“Uh-” you were about to explain that you’re not a couple but Hoseok cut you out of it. “Me, I’m paying” he smiled at her and she offered a satisfied shrug, murmuring something about how “gentleman” Hoseok is. Why didn’t he correct her?

Hoseok offered to carry all the bags but you insisted. He must be really feeling pity for you right now. After leaving the convenience store, you both were quiet. Way different than before where you both usually banter and throw jokes at each other when walking to home.

This awkwardness needs to end.

“So, is that why you couldn’t answer me before?” you turned to him, trying to sound bold. You just want to know the truth, since he already lied to you.

“Uh no, actually-” cutting him off of his explanation you scoffed. Listen to his explanation Y/N just listen..

“You should’ve been honest with me you know, is it really hard for you?” your voice came out weaker. Since when did you both start keeping secrets to each other? Sure you do harmless small lies but not as big as this.

“Yes, I was and Sohye isn’t my girlfriend” his voice rising with panic. Hoseok’s feeling it again, the need to clarify things to you. Maybe because he now knows what you feel? Or maybe because he just doesn't want to hurt you even more.

“You didn’t have to lie, I saw you both at the cafe clearly on a date” you stated coldly.

“That wasn’t it, you’re misinterpreting everything” his voice went quieter, now pleading.

“It’s alright Hoseok, can we drop the subject now” you glared at him and walked faster towards your shared home.

Hoseok just sighed defeatedly, deciding to give you space since your mind is really closed for any explanation.

You wonder who’s going to “cook” since you can’t cook for shit but Hoseok’s pretty good though he’s very humble about it. Now that you both are in tension with each other, you were about to offer to buy take out when he beats you out of it again.

“I’ll cook, just let me Y/N” mimicking what you said earlier to him. Entering your bedroom, you gave out a big exhale to calm down and rationalize everything.

You’re being irrational and immature about the whole situation and it’s not fair for Hoseok. The smell of bulgogi made you come out of your room to the kitchen where he was preparing early dinner for you both.

A surprised gasp came out of your mouth the moment you saw how the dining table was arranged to like that of a formal date. With the fine plates and cutleries that you even forgot where you put, the mini candle light that you gifted him from last Christmas and the vase of daisies, your favourite.

“Hobi-” you started but he put his hands up to a stop.

“No, let me explain everything please” his usually warm and happy eyes look up at you sadly.

“Okay..”

“First of all, I’m sorry okay? I know you’re hurting already but please believe me when I tell you that me and Sohye are never together. She’s not my girlfriend and I didn’t lie in any means that night.” he’s fidgeting now because of nervousness.

“Hobi, I should be the one saying sorry to you for acting like that. You didn’t deserve it” you told him, voice lacing with emotion. You really grow weak when it comes to him.

Hoseok smiled with relief at you, you never show this emotional side to other people except him. He opened his arms wide and you didn’t hesitate to accept his embrace.

You stayed like that for a while, you being way calmer now because of his embrace and him running his hands through your hair while swaying you both slowly. As if doing this wouldn’t make you forgive him or something.

“Come, let’s eat. It's getting cold and oh, I cooked your favourite. I’m also making up for the dinner I missed last time” his usual sunny demeanour is back though an apologetic smile appeared on his heart-shaped lips.

“Thank you Hobi though this is too much for an apology, I can never hate you for so long” you chuckled, playfully hitting his arms.

After your make-up dinner, the atmosphere of your shared house went back to normal and you both decided to end the night with a movie.

Cuddling with him has always been your favorite. You just love skinship in general but you would never let anyone know that. You’re only like this to Hoseok anyways.

You both are debating again about the movie when you can feel the vibrations from his phone inside his pocket.

Hoseok grimaced the moment he looked at the name appearing on his phone. He looked at you but you didn’t seem to notice his reaction.

You did. Of course you did, it’s Sohye. His reaction gave it away but you pretended to be still immersed in the movie.

“Uh, I need to take this. Be right back hehe” he ruffled your hair with a strained smile and left to go outside. Props to him for being considerate, he’s trying to protect your already broken heart.

“What” he barked on the phone as soon as he answered Sohye’s call.

“Don’t snap at me Hoseok, did you tell her? She’s pretty down” she mused with fake sympathy on her voice.

“Is that really the only reason why you’re calling me?” Hoseok’s annoyed. This night was supposed to be a make-up night for you both and now she’s ruining it.

"No of course not, my parents want to meet you". Hoseok's blood ran cold. Sohye's parents..does this mean?

"Hey, are you even listening?!" Sohye screeched on the phone which made Hoseok put the phone away from his ears.

"Yeah I am, what the fuck do you mean meet your parents? No way" he responded with disbelief. He couldn't even wrap his head in the fact that he got someone pregnant accidentally when he was drunk and now he's already going to meet Sohye's parents?

"You will, I told them what happened and they want to meet the father of their soon to be grandchild. End of discussion" she stated coldly.

"Sohye-" before he can even try to plead to move things slow, the line went dead already.

An exhausted sigh came out of him with the new problem he's going to face from now on. Fuck.

Looking back at the house, he saw you at the doorway looking worriedly at him so he smiled to ease you.

Something's wrong. What's happening with him and Sohye? You didn't hear anything but you saw Hoseok's reaction to whoever he's calling.

You stopped him before he could continue.

"Is everything alright? you're trying to ease the obvious distress on his face but as usual he just shrugged.

"Yeah, don't worry it wasn't Sohye" his response seems flat and he couldn't look at your eyes so you're already suspecting that he's lying.

You pretended you didn't notice his lies and smiled back at him saying good night and retreats to your room.

You definitely noticed the changes in him after that night. He looks defeated and troubled every time you see him. Is this your fault? Did your confession cause all of this? But he would’ve told you differently, no?

It’s a miracle you’re catching him eating breakfast in the kitchen since had been avoiding you. “Hey Hobi you alright?” that seemed to shake him out of his thoughts.

“Y/N, hey you scared me” he chuckled awkwardly.

“Hobi what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything right? I won’t judge”. He looks at you thoughtfully though you can't quite figure out what his eyes are telling you.

“I’m fine Y/N, just busy these days. You know how serious Yoongi is in this songwriting club that we just started” disappointment crossed your features at his dismissal of your concern. Maybe he just needs space, but it’s not like you’ve been clinging to him more than usual after your confession. Everything’s normal, even better, at least for you.

Hoseok flinched when he saw your disheartened face. He’s been trying to act like nothing’s going on even though he’s been frustrated on what to do next. He’s literally helpless. He needs to let this out to Namjoon since he knows he’s rational and would know what to do in any kind of situation.

“Oh okay, just tell me when you’re ready hmm?” you hoped that sounded less disappointed of him not opening to you. He didn’t even look at you when you hollered to say goodbye for class.

He couldn't look at you since he's afraid he'll slip up. He has to settle himself first before telling you. He wouldn't want to cause you any more pain so he needs to be prepared.

One morning, you woke up with the silent house. Maybe Hoseok went for an early jog so you helped yourself in the kitchen where you saw the breakfast that he already prepared.

“Had to leave early, here's your breakfast! :)” - Hobi <3

Ugh, why are you still not used to him being sweet when he was always like this? Okay maybe things just magnified once you realized your feelings for him.

You wonder where he went though. Sohye? Nah, you don't think so.You both just went back to normal so you're not going to be the reason to put you both in that awkward situation again.

You dismissed your thoughts and decided to do full house cleaning since it's the weekend. And hey, you kinda miss cleaning so-

The doorbell rang and you dropped your cleaning supplies to check. That's strange, you didn't order anything so it must be Hoseok's.

He's nervous. Scratch that, he's fucking terrified of meeting Sohye's parents. Not only that, he lied to you again. This one just an addition to the rising amount of lies he now seems easily to do to his best friend.

"Just relax, they're gonna love you" Sohye's trying to calm him down by caressing his arms but he pulled away.

"Are you sure that's even mine? How do I fucking know for sure?" he hissed and Sohye whined.

"Would I fucking involve my parents if this isn't serious? You didn't know the shit I went through after they found out" her voice came out meekly which surprised him.

Hoseok paused. He's been too absorbed of what's happening to him to the point that he didn't even think of what Sohye is feeling for all of this.

Sure she annoyed the fuck outta him but if this baby she's carrying is actually his, then Sohye's going to be one of his responsibilities too.

"What? I- I thought they were supportive Sohye" his voice is calm compared to the usual harshness and this startled her.

"We're still in university, this pregnancy will delay my graduation so duh" she tried to be dismissive about it but Hoseok can see the subtle troubled look in her eyes.

When they reached the Ahn residence, Hoseok's heartbeat seemed to multiply even more. Sohye intertwined their hands and he didn't bother stopping her because he couldn't really think of anything right now.

Sohye’s parents welcomed them both and guided them to the living room where they’ll discuss the “future”. Hoseok couldn’t help but feel that he needs to make a good impression to Sohye’s parents otherwise.

“Hello, Mr and Mrs. Ahn I’m Jung Hoseok” Hoseok bowed and smiled though he still can’t meet their eyes with his own.

“Oh you’re so polite and warmingly charming” Mrs. Ahn mused with an endearing voice.

“So you are the one who knocked up my daughter” Mr. Ahn spat, eyes now glaring at Hoseok and he played with the scrutinizing eyes.

“Dad, can you please not scare him?” Sohye shrieked, shielding Hoseok from her father.

“She’s right sweetie, calm down hmm? Hoseok’s seem to be a good boy” Hoseok is kind of relieved that at least Mrs. Ahn is nicer to him than the latter.

“So when’s the wedding date?”

Everyone went silent as soon as Mr. Ahn dropped the million dollar question.

Mrs. Ahn looked intently at the both of them while She's giving expectant looks to Hoseok who can’t seem to remove his gaze from the floor.

Finally after a long inhale of breath, Hoseok raised his eyes to face Mr. Ahn .

“With all due respect,”

“You ARE marrying my daughter am I correct?” Mr. Ahn cutting him off made him falter but he has to man up now. This isn’t something he can run away from anymore.

“Dad, me and Hobi still wanted to graduate,” Sohye stated.

“But you both will have a child soon so it’s better to get married now before your graduation” Mrs. Ahn added, her demeanour now getting serious.

Hoseok’s panicking right now but he doesn’t care anymore if it looked obvious as he was trying to find alternative ways to escape this route, surely there has to be other than marriage.

This will ruin everything that he's planned for himself and well, you. The thought of you made Hoseok winced.

You who he's already hurting

You who loves him for as long you could remember

You who do not know about any of this

You who is-

"Hoseok!" hands tugging his arms made him come back to reality where Sohye's been trying to get his attention.

"Huh?"

"What's your answer going to be? Mr. Ahn and Hoseok gulped.

"I-um I'll marry her" his voice came out stable which surprised him. Is he really gonna be doing this? Get married? He's not even ready but how about Sohye?

The thought of Sohye keeping their child from him if he ever refuses made him convinced himself that he's doing the right thing.

"Really? Omg that's great!" Sohye squealed along with her mother sharing the happiness with Hoseok's decision while Mr. Ahn was looking at Hoseok with knowing eyes.

"Come along" Sohye's father gestured him to their mansion's garden and now the nervousness is back on Hoseok's veins.

"Sir-"

"You don't love my daughter, I know.I can see it, I'm not blind kid"

Hoseok gasped lightly. Well he shouldn't be surprised since his expressions have always been obvious. Dammit why can't he be better in acting?

"I-yes you're right" he's been trying to calm down but he couldn't stop his legs from fidgeting.

"But you're marrying my daughter regardless" Mr. Ahn wondered.

"It's the right thing to do" he responded firmly which surprised the older man.

Silence ruled the both of them until Mrs. Ahn called in for lunch.

You opened your door to a mailman delivering what seems to be baby supplies. Huh?

"Uhm sorry, did you get the wrong address? the mailman stared back at you warily before showing you the receipt that displays Hoseok’s name.

“This is Mr. Jung Hoseok’s residence is it not?” you were caught off guard to the sassiness of the mailman so you grabbed the boxes he was holding.

“Yes, thank you” you offered an embarrassing smile.

“You’re welcome and congrats by the way” he replied while eyeing the boxes and immediately left.

You stood there for a while trying to process what the mailman just said. He thought you’re Hoseok’s wife or something? He thought you’re pregnant? Wait.

Baby supplies. Why would Hoseok need baby supplies?

And then it struck you,

Sohye.

Your heart shattered with the revelation that you almost dropped the boxes. Why? Why would Hoseok lie to you again? You both just made up and now this?

He confuses tf out of you. He says he doesn’t wanna hurt you but here he is, hurting you even more each day.

Fuck, you feel pathetic. Bet your homegirls back in uni’s gonna laugh at how much you’ve become weak just because of a boy.

But he’s not just some boy,

He’s your best friend,

And the love of your life

But lately with the lies and secrets, you’re not even sure if you know him anymore.

The lunch with the Ahn family consisted of talking about the wedding plans, all seems to be a blur to Hoseok as he just keeps nodding to whatever they say to him.

“Hobi, honey, when do you think is the perfect date?” Sohye grasps his arm which makes him turn to her and he’s trying not to barf with the endearment she just called him because her parents are around.

“Uh-idk I have to talk to my folks first” he replied nervously which made both Sohye’s parents focus on him.

Fuck.

“Yeah he didn’t know about it so take it easy” Sohye whined at her parents.

“And besides, I’m not even sure if that baby is mine” he added. The sudden accusatory remark towards Sohye changed the atmosphere, cold all of the sudden and Hoseok immediately regretted the words that came out from him.

Where in the fucking world did he even get the confidence to say out loud what’s been bugging him in this situation.

“What did you just say?” Mr. Ahn growled, actually now getting angry. Sohye went rigid beside Hoseok and speechless and Mrs. Ahn let out a surprised gasp.

Shit, it’s now or never.

“If I’m being honest, I don’t trust anything that comes from your daughter, seeing as how she’s been chasing and threatening me since the beginning of the school year” he stated, voice hard while glaring at Sohye knowingly.

“How dare you insult us in our own home?” Mrs. Ahn yelled at him. Hoseok’s confidence faltered, vanishing but he stood on his ground.

“I’m serious, I won’t marry her until I know for sure if it��s mine” Hoseok’s proud that his voice came out stable.

“Sohye, why don’t you guide Hoseok out” Mr.Ahn stated calmly which made Hoseok nervous again, the old man must have felt betrayed given how Hoseok suddenly changed his mind after their talk earlier.

The table was silent until Sohye stood up wordlessly and grabbed Hoseok towards the outside of their mansion.

Before they could even reach the gate, a sudden hand landed on Hoseok’s left cheek.

“Fuck you Hoseok” Sohye grits her teeth, eyes with fury while looking at him intently.

No lie, that slap hurts but Hoseok didn’t even care because his eyes were on the gate.

On you.

And you’re in rage now that you witnessed what just happened and Hoseok knows how protective you are of him.

The lack of response caused Sohye followed his gaze, now on you and she laughs, hysterically.

You were already walking towards them with that furious expression, the one that actually scares Hoseok.

“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TO SLAP HIM YOU BITCH” you screamed with fury the moment you reach the both of them and was about to grab Sohye but Hoseok stopped you just in time.

“Y/N stop!” Hoseok’s trying to stop your arms that are reaching Sohye who’s still laughing, clearly amused by your outburst. She wonders if you already know but judging by Hoseok’s anxious eyes looking back at her, she knew it was the latter.

Well, what a perfect time.

“Oh Y/N, what are you doing here? I don’t remember inviting you” Sohye smiled at you mockingly, obviously trying to get into your skin and you’re falling for it.

“Cut the crap you bitch, how dare you-” you were about to attack again and actually almost succeeded because you actually caught her arm when-

“She’s pregnant Y/N stop!” Hoseok shouted which made you froze from flailing your arms around and you jerked in shock.

The devastated expression that emerged from your beautiful face made Hoseok’s heart lurched. He didn’t have the intention of telling you this way, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

“W-What?” your mind went blank. You came here expecting an explanation from Hoseok about the baby supplies package you received earlier. Why is he so goddamn good at hurting his best friend? No this is a joke, this has to be.

“Yes, Y/N I am pregnant and Hoseok’s the father” Sohye squealed, looking at you with those triumphant eyes with a slick smile. Wait, does she know of your feelings?

You averted your eyes to Hoseok now that the truth is out. You were hoping for a different reaction but the moment his eyes met yours, they’re full of shame. Fuck, it really hurts coming from him.

The realization finally crept into your mind with everything that's been happening to Hoseok ever since the night of your confession.

Sohye, avoiding you, going somewhere without telling you..it all makes sense now. But what's not making sense is how he kept lying to you all this time.

"Y-YN-" Hoseok is like a deer caught in headlights, guilty eyes that are now morphing into full of panic. He knows you, does he really though? He doesn't even know himself anymore.

You're usually composed, especially with other people around. You're that kind of person who remains calm even in rough commotions. But it's totally different when it involves the man you cherish and love..

And before you could reply, a middle aged couple emerged behind Hoseok who reminded you of Sohye and remembered that you're in their premises, the Ahn residence.

"What is going on here?" Mrs.Ahn eyed the three of you suspiciously, primarily staring at you. Ah, the stranger.

"Nothing Mom, this is Y/N, Hoseok's best friend" Sohye smiled sarcastically to you with those knowing eyes, challenging you to continue.

Embarrassment filled you once you came back to reality and snatched your arms from Hoseok's grasp. Breathing deeply, you tried to compose yourself before looking up at both of Sohye's parents.

"Really? I thought she IS his girlfriend given the fact that he had refused to marry you" Mr.Ahn stated coldly, still eyes on Y/N.

Hoseok turned around to face Sohye's parents, thinking of putting his arm around you but hesitated.

He knows you're mad at him so he opted to move slowly in front of you, trying to protect you from the scrutinizing eyes of Sohye's parents. Noticing this you raised your chin and looked directly into Mr. Ahn's eyes.

"No, I'm not his girlfriend but he's one of the most important people in my life as I am to him so whatever situation you've put him through, I need to know" you seethed, eyes full of determination though the phrase "not his girlfriend" almost distracted you.

You're surprised your voice came out confident despite the nervousness that might be etched now on your face.

"Well young lady, we were just talking with your friend about wedding preparations but seems like he's changing his mind" Mrs. Ahn glared at Hoseok.

"I already told you that I have to talk to my family first and figure out what really happened that night. I'll update you as soon as I can, I swear" he hurriedly explained, nervously looking back at you to gauge your reactions.

"Alright then, we hope to hear from you soon". Mr. Ahn replied coldly, his eyes landing on Y/N and that made Hoseok uneasy.

Sohye's parents went back inside and you stepped back from behind Hoseok with a stoic expression, in no way you'll show Sohye how affected despite of your suspicion that she knows already.

"Brave of you to come here Y/N, but props you both are fun to watch" she chuckled and you didn’t want to give her the satisfaction so you fought yourself, bitch.

"I'm just fetching Hoseok and since I think everything's done here, we're leaving" you turned around, not waiting for any response from the both of them. You felt hurried steps behind you,trying to catch up but you didn't bother.

Inside the car, the silent tension that surrounds the both of you is deafening. Hoseok nibbled his lips anxiously, feeling your anger from the revelation earlier. It's his fault so he has to settle this down before arriving home.

"Y/N I'm sor–"

"You lied to me, again" you cut him off with a blank expression, tone contemptuous.

"I know but–"

"We promised each other after that night that there would be no lies anymore" you bristled.

"I didn't wanna hurt you more than I already am okay?!" he blurted out, eyes turning glassy. Hoseok's trying to take a deep breath to stop himself from tearing up.

You sneered and didn't bother to respond,the nerve of him to be upset in this situation.

"I'll sleep at Namjoon's" he mumbled meekly and you quickly dropped him at his friend’s house.

“Good night Y/N” he inhaled sharply when you didn’t respond or even looked back at him. “I’m sorry” he mumbled, exiting the car with a gloomy expression.

You waited on your seat for a while, trying to hold in every emotion that has been building until he was further away. Hands turning white as you grip the steering wheel, you took a deep breath and started bawling your eyes out in pain.

In excruciating pain. What’s going to happen between you and Hoseok now? All your hopes of a future together are now shattered. It was going so well, you confessed and he gave you a chance and now this.

To Namjoon’s surprise, it was a miserable Hoseok who’s standing in front of his dorm room instead of the japchae delivery he’s been expecting. He didn’t ask for more and stepped aside to let his friend in.

“Alright man what happened?” Namjoon asked worriedly and Hoseok’s tears welled up in his before exhaling deeply.

“She knows Joon” Hoseok whispered, trying to stop his tears and Namjoon sat down on the couch urging his friend to continue.

“Everything happened so fast..Y/N was going after Sohye after she saw her slap me so I had to admit the truth right there” he felt his throat closing up when he recalled your crushed reaction earlier. How he wishes he could’ve told you in a different situation.

"She'll find out eventually though" another voice replied, and Hoseok turned his head back to see another person coming in the living room. Immediately recognizing Namjoon's roommate he walked up to him and hissed,

"You told me nothing happened that night!" he yelled and poor Taehyung grabbed Hoseok's arm that's on his collar in an attempt to calm him down.

Namjoon immediately stood up in panic and rushed towards both boys, struggling to get Hoseok off from Taehyung.

"Hobi, hey, calm down" Namjoon spoke calmly and Hoseok let go of Taehyung instantly.

"Hyung, I'm sorry I swear the only time I saw you was when we were drinking and the morning after. Jungkook told me you left with someone so I thought that was Y/N coming to pick you up" the younger man reasoned with fear, knowing how Hoseok gets when he's absolutely angry.

"Well it wasn't, it was Ahn Sohye and we slept together apparently" he answered slowly, more calmer now. What's the point of blaming other people when it already happened, it's going to change anything.

Only Namjoon knew at the beginning as soon as Hoseok heard the news and told him immediately, asking for help. Meanwhile the rest of his friend group didn't know about it until, well starting now.

"Stay for the night, you're always welcome here anyways" Namjoon patted Hoseok's shoulders softly and grabbed Taehyung to set up for dinner, which just arrived when they heard a knock from the door.

"Thanks Joon, and sorry for my outburst earlier Tae" he shuffled the younger's hair affectionately.

Hoseok wasn't there in the morning and a few mornings after that. You debated to ask his sister if she knew about this whole thing or what. She could've known and just didn't want to tell you to spare your feelings but you didn't care.

Calling Jiwoo 언니..

"Hello? Y/N?" she answered cautiously. Ah, always obvious just like her little brother.

"So you knew" you muttered passively. How could she? You both are like sisters from different mothers.

"Don't be mad please, I just found out too!" voice laced with alarm.

When you didn't reply she then proceeded to explain to you that Hoseok did go to his family to tell them the entirety of the situation. Why didn't he text you to meet there? Despite what happened, you would've been by his side, supporting him because that's what best friends do.

But then you remember last night and suddenly your anger resurfaced and you ended the call immediately, getting ready to leave only to be greeted by Seokjin at the door.

"Good morning" he smiled at you, filled with compassion.

"They sent you didn't they?" you snarled, frowning at his handsome face as you stepped aside to let him in.

"Hoseok actually since you know, you can't cook. He just wants to make sure you get a proper breakfast" he mused, rummaging the kitchen for ingredients.

"How sweet of him" you replied sarcastically, taking a seat at the kitchen counter with both hands on your face to cover your expression from Jin.

"Hey give him a break, all this is not easy for him too" he stated solemnly, giving you a serious look, placing the waffles and omelet that he just cooked.

You glared at him and started eating silently. Seeing him sit in front of you, you know he's looking at you closely deciphering your current emotions.

"I'm fine" you stated as you looked up at him and though his eyes widened at your lack of sadness, his eyes are still skeptical.

"No, you're not. We heard what happened" he answered with caution. You almost faltered but you remained composed, acting dismissive as usual.

"I AM fine, drop it Seokjin" you jeered. Seokjin wanted a reaction from you so there you have it, only anger though. He texted the rest that you seem to be alright and that they'll meet with others soon.

"Hurry, we're going somewhere" he quickly cleaned up the table and gestured to you to follow him outside. You grumbled but agreed anyways.

"If you're bringing me to Hoseok don't bother" you glanced at him blankly before looking outside the car window, obviously you don't want to seek him out unless he needs something from you.

"No you'll help us prepare, the boys want your opinion" Jin explained calmly, still wary of your mood.

You didn't answer him and just scoffed so he took it as a yes. You don't want any confrontation from the rest of Hoseok's friends but you can't really escape them so might as well.

Tonight, you saw the lights are on as you're walking into the driveway.

He's home, and you're nervous on how to approach him.

“I’ll be your maid of honour” you whispered. Hoseok looked up at you, eyes surprised at your sudden conviction.

“W-What? B-but Y/N..” he tried reaching on your arm but you stepped back and that made him pause. Hoseok should feel happy that you’re going to his wedding but he can’t help but feel wrong.

“My decision’s final, I don’t care but don’t try to stop me. I already confirmed with your sister” you stated coldly, still not looking into his eyes.

"I don't like hurting you, Y/N please. You don't have to attend the wedding, it's fine with me" his voice pleading, still trying to convince you despite your final decision earlier.

See? How can you not love him? Even in rough times like this, he is still considerate of your feelings.

You sighed, “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m your best friend and this is an important part of your life so I should be there” you stated, finally looking back into his eyes.

You're not gonna cry

You're not

You're getting tired of it..

Focusing on other thoughts to stop yourself from crying you didn't notice Hoseok approaching you slowly. When his hands cupped your face, it broke out your reverie.

"Y/N, I-"

You already have a feeling of what he's going to say the moment you met his eyes earlier, they've always been so expressive.

"Don't. Not now Hoseok, not anymore" you looked at his eyes that mirror with your sadness. He inhaled sharply, eyes changing with determination.

"No, Y/N" the way he says your name with a smile is making you nervous and before you could muster a response, a pair of soft lips touched yours and you immediately closed your eyes.

Is this finally happening? Hoseok kissing you? You only hoped about this before but you didn't think it's finally happening. He feels the same now right?

"Hoseok.." you croaked breathlessly after you released each other. He didn't release his hold on your face in which you're leaning, hoping that this is not only your imagination.

"Let me show you.. please.." his eyes begged. Not gonna lie, you've been waiting for this moment to happen but you both see it in a different way.

Him, showing gratitude while you..

While you're taking advantage of him for your own selfish reasons.

Bringing your hands up on top of his face, you smiled back at him and nodded.

He’s giving you a chance, though this seems like charity even but you don’t care anymore.

So you did.

Hoseok woke up the next day feeling relieved but mostly happy to have finally shown you his feelings, though he’s not sure if you heard his declaration last night. Expecting your presence beside him he turned around and reached out, only to find an empty space.

Suddenly sitting up in dread, he looked around trying to find you. Getting up and hastily putting on his clothes, he went outside directly to the kitchen but you are nowhere to be found. His chest tightened at the thought of you leaving him after what happened last night.

Was he too forward? But you gladly accepted him. Was that an act? D-did you already fall out of love from him?

Before he could continue his thoughts, his phone dinged beside him at the counter. Though he’s expecting Sohye, the text surprisingly came from his sister.

[지우 Noona: Y/N’s and I are in the boutique right now, where are you?]

[Hobi: jwu why? am I needed somewhere?]

[지우 Noona: Go meet with the wedding planner with Sohye in an hour]

He was gonna ask about you but hesitated. Why didn't you text him or leave a note? You just acted like nothing happened and that made Hoseok concerned.

Damn. When you said you'll help with the wedding preparations, you didn't expect to be leading the way. Apparently, that's Hoseok's request according to the wedding planner.

You've been giving your all into this, most likely because you want to distract yourself from what happened that night and what will happen in the wedding. You keep thinking of why Hoseok would want you when clearly, he doesn't feel anything for you.

Or does he?

You weren't sure if you were just imagining him saying "I love Y/N" when his arms were holding you tight after your rendezvous the night before. It must be your subconscious trying to fulfill your innermost desire, for your best friend to love you back.

"Hey, Y/N you alright? You look a little worned out" Jiwoo looked at you worriedly, running her eyes around your face.

Yeah your brother drained tf out of me..

"WHAT?!!" you jerked with her shrieking and then you realized you said that thought out loud and your face flushed with shame.

Fuck.

"Uh-" now you can't look at her eyes, cheeks going red with what you just told her.

fuckfuckfuck

"Omgggg, now I get why" she happily mused that made you raise your eyebrows back at her.

"Wtf why?" you shifted uncomfortably, never before you've been this aloof to Hoseok's sister until now.

"I texted him earlier but he said he's still at home at this time which surprised me" she teased, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

"He's about to get married, you know" you smiled bitterly, gaze focusing on the white wedding dress on display. Would've been lovely if you're the one who's getting married to Hoseok.

"And? It's not like he and Sohye are in a relationship" she huffed. Jiwoo's right but somehow, that didn't change the already creeping guilt inside you.

"Whatever, that's never happening again" you scoffed but she looks at you suspiciously.

"I'm serious, I value marriage and it will be a form of cheating if that happens again after the ceremony so, no" you firmly stated, looking away. You've been planning to distance yourself after the wedding since that would be what's best for both you and Hoseok.

Jiwoo looked at you wistfully, with sympathetic eyes that you've been getting used to from the people around you the moment Hoseok and Sohye's wedding was announced.

"Y/N, I'm sorry you have to feel this way. I know how much you love him" she replied softly, laced with emotion since you're like a little sister to her, after all she was hoping you'll end up with her little brother.

"It's okay, I'm used to it" you smiled curtly, your expression changing back to neutral like it has always been.

Since you've put all your time into the wedding preparations which clearly affected your academic performance, the preparations went smoothly as you planned.

Hoseok's been trying to corner you, but you're silently thankful for the people who keep distracting him because you're clearly not ready to talk to him.

Isn't that what you've always wanted? Now why are you running away? I mean you are going to eventually but you promised you'll be there for him. Fuck it, just a little bit more..

On the night before his wedding, you've stayed in your hotel room again like what you've been doing the entire time when you know Hoseok's around. You didn't even go to the bachelorette party you were clearly invited for and he's having a stag night too.

Around 3am you were awakened by loud knocks of your hotel door and for the sake of other guests on this floor, you dragged your feet and opened the door impulsively.

Only to see a drunk Hoseok, groggily smiling at you.

"Why are you here? It's already early morning" you hissed and he just giggled in response.

"Wanna see you" he pouted and you gestured to him just in case he'll vomit which is about to happen as you see his face contorted.

"Fuck come here quick!" you're rubbing his back as he releases all remnants of his stomach into the toilet when he staggered.

"Y/N I'm sorry" his voice sounded so broken and you straightened yourself. He's not gonna remember anything in the morning anyways so what's the point.

You didn't answer him but you helped him clean up and before you can even talk to him, he's already knocked out on your bed. Should you call someone to get him? But everyone's asleep now, screw it.

You stayed beside Hoseok, staring at his sleeping face for the last time, the last time you'll be able to be this near to him since he'll be a married man tomorrow. You can't stop your tears as you run your hands through his face.

"I love you Hoseok, I love you so much that I am letting you go" you stopped yourself to cry louder in case it'll wake him up. You wrapped your arms around him, relishing a few hours of selfishness on your own end.

The morning comes and you're dreading to let go of Hoseok. He woke up with you already staring at him and you jerked.

"Here are painkillers, drink that before you go" you handed them to him but he grabbed you wrist instead, silently pleading you to look at him.

"Y/N, let's run away" he croaked. Hoseok actually heard you the night before, heard you letting go of him and it crushed everything in him, hearing your voice so broken because of him and he wants to make you feel better even though you both know how late it is already.

"What? Are you crazy? You're getting married hours from now" you yelled at him. You've never lashed out on him like this but his plan is ridiculous. You're already guilty of sleeping with him and now he wanted to elope?

"I don't care, I just–" a knock from the door made him pause and your eyes widened. Fuck fuck fuck. You and Hoseok looked at each other's eyes full of panic now.

You walked towards the door and prepared yourself for any interrogation when you were met with sleepy eyes and a smirk.

"Wtf do you want Yoongi" you seethed, you haven’t slept properly since you tried to stay awake as much as possible.

After hearing that it's only his friend, Hoseok appeared behind you, with a relief expression.

"You two looked like shit, be thankful I volunteered to get him" he snickered and you glared at him.

"Nothing happened" you answered nonchalantly but Yoongi's teasing smirk is still on so you turned back to Hoseok but then you're suddenly enveloped with a firm hug, with Hoseok's face nuzzling your neck.

"Thank you" he hummed and released you. You can tell through his eyes that he wanted to stay longer and talk to you more but you shake your head.

"Alright man let's go, they've been looking everywhere for you" Yoongi grabbed Hoseok who's still reluctant to leave.

"Go, Hoseok" you slightly push him towards Yoongi with a serious tone and just when they were about to leave, Jiwoo suddenly appeared in the corner.

“I knew it, I should’ve looked here first. Thank you Yoongi” the boy just nodded back at Jiwoo gave you the "i told you so" look, though not judgmental, you felt the need to clarify to prove your point the last time you talked.

Time of the wedding,

Time to let Hoseok go, permanently.

You are the maid of honour so you have no choice but to put on a happy face especially in front of Hoseok's parents who were constantly checking on you during preparations with apprehension.

After the bridesmaids and groomsmen have walked the aisle, it's finally your turn and it fucking sucks since you have to walk alone.

You took a deep breath before raising your chin up, and faced everyone as they looked at you walking up to the altar. However, your eyes are only on Hoseok as you imagine that it was you he's waiting for, not the actual bride behind you.

Hoseok is doing the same thing, ironically. He's imagining that it's you he is marrying, the person he truly loves but it's too late for that so he should just focus on Sohye.

He continued his daydreaming until Jungkook nudged him since the youngest best man is the closest to him than the other 6, breaking his thoughts and facing the reality that Sohye is the bride, not you.

When the officiant asked if there was someone who disagrees with the couple's union, your body wanted to stand up and tell everyone how you really feel. You felt Jiwoo's arms around your shoulders, hoping to provide the comfort that you needed but you shrugged her arms off.

You wouldn't mind usually but you're in her little brother's wedding and you've been refusing to meet Hoseok's eyes until the officiant proceeded with the next part of the ceremony. You can't look at him or else you'll crumble and there's no way you'll embarrass yourself in front of his family and yours.

Surprisingly, your parents came when you invited them. It would usually have to be Hoseok or any of his family members invite them to come though you already have a suspicion that it's not the only reason why.

“Do you Jung Hoseok, promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her and hold only unto her forever more?” this caused you to finally look back at Hoseok. He stayed silent for a few moments which made everyone chatter in whisper but as soon as his eyes found yours, he smiled, full of longing.

"I do"

You closed your eyes as tears fell from them, unable to hold his gaze anymore. It might be improper to look back on the best night of your life but you can’t help it, you just want to hear Hoseok say it again, over and over.

“I love you Y/N”

Another morning of Hoseok waking up without you in his life. Tears ran down the sides of his face when he remembered, but this one is longer and the clearest of them all.

That dream's too vivid for him to handle. He smiled bitterly as he remembered all the memories, starting from the beginning up until the shift of your friendship that severed you both.

Chuckling pathetically at himself to even have the audacity to think of you when he's the very main reason you were gone. He just misses you so much.

In your absence, he indulged himself into alcohol only because he remembers you nagging him to be mindful of his tolerance. He knows it's not good for him, but it's the only way to forget his pain of losing you.

It's not like he's being irresponsible to the point of getting piss drunk, he just drinks when he's alone because that's when the thought of you creeps back into his mind.

Getting up to face another day of wallowing, he decided to come down to the basement to do some cleaning. The mini studio, the only thing he has of you left. This is the reason why he didn't wanna sell the house in the first place.

He then went to a nearby speaker and set the song you both choreographed ages ago, another memory coming up, haunting him.

"Alright that's it, it's been a minute! Surely that's enough right?" you whined at Hoseok, heaving since you've been dancing for like hours now.

"It's less than a minute! Come on, we're just doing the extended chorus" he giggled and you rolled your eyes.

"But yeah, we don't have to do the whole song" his eyes trained on you and the folded Led Zeppelin shirt on the chair. You followed his gaze through and found him eyeing your precious shirt.

"I'm gonna wear it when we're filming this dance, it's from my grandma remember? And I'm gonna pair it with those red orange pants you gifted me on my birthday" you fondly explained to him.

Hoseok never took you for being sentimental since you always act dismissive when you receive gifts from him.

The voice of Troye Sivan echoing throughout the room brought him back to the present reality. He still feels you around the house, especially here so he went in front of the mirror and readied himself.

He looked back at his reflection in the mirror, instantly seeing you beside him with an affectionate smile. He lets himself give in to his imaginations, just this time. Starting the moves smoothly, Hoseok will always remember this choreo out of all the ones he made because it's you.

Always have been you but he was a coward for not acting on his feelings earlier. The song ended and he fell into his knees, hitting the floor while another gut-wrenching sobs escaped his mouth.

You laid out your feelings for him but he doubted himself when he clearly feels the same so now here he is.

Still in grief full of regrets..

Still wishing you'll come back to him..

Still clinging to the ghost of you..

taglist : @hobisnesseu @ggukkieland @sheprocrastinatesalot @hoebii @jeonsbun @iamscharene

It's up to you where Y/N is or what happened to her :')

And yes the dance is by Hobi and Ryujin from Highlight Reel ♡

Thank you for reading! Feedback's greatly appreciated!

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