#i just finished s2 and literally crying screaming throwing up

[earthseed]

Jobel Mokonzi and Lary as Fanta and Zadie

in PARA - Wir Sind King S2

[sindar-princeling]

I was tagged by @cardboard-guitar, thank you!

3 ships

Jon and Martin from The Magnus Archives (screaming crying throwing up about them forever and it'll only get worse when tmagp comes out), Mulder and Scully my loves (chris carter really made them to be like I take thee as my lawfully wedded coworker), Legolas and Gimli (who I don't necessarily ship in a romantic way because sometimes I just really like seeing characters be each other's Most Important People without romance, like Sam and Frodo or Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens (I have a... complicated relationship with s2) or Joan and Sherlock from Elementary (yes this is my way to cheat on this question to add elementary propaganda))

2. first ever ship

That's hard, honestly. I think that would have to be some couples from Małgorzata Musierowicz's books that I started reading when I was like 10? I guess I was invested in them in a way that could be called shipping even if it was still several years before I even knew the word

3. last song

Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) by Edison Lighthouse

4. last movie

In the cinema - Barbie, in general - the LOTR marathon I did at home

5. currently reading

There are a few books lying on my shelf waiting to be finished, like Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett and Family Business by Jonathan Sims

6. currently watching

The Twilight Zone (the original Rod Serling one, I LOVE IT SO MUCH), Lost (for the third time, actually), and Wheel of Time

7. currently consuming

literally just drinking water akjsfhjkhd

8. currently craving

some fast food or a pizza, unfortunately skajhfdkjf

9 people to tag: @svogliata-mente, @lady-byleth, @pendragoth, @wrappedinchocolateblanket, @xriia, @kat-anni, @lifblogs, @the-timelord-a-tardis-stole, @yellowisharo

(I know some of you don't usually do ask games but this is me sending you a kiss)

[violet-prism-creatively]

good omens s2 episode reactions: 6

i just finished good omens season 2.

you know how people say "screaming crying throwing up" jokingly? i'm literally at least one of those (screamed into a pillow) and kinda close to another (partly unrelated life reasons making me feel like crying but it counts)

it's not supposed to end like that!!!! crowley and aziraphale going their separate ways!! they kissed but not at all in the way most people imagined it would be!!!!

okay i will attempt to give a summary of my thoughts for the whole episode the way i have for the rest of the season. (see other posts: e1, e2, e3, e4, e5.)

shax is surprisingly good at hitting people with their deepest insecurities. it's a little inconsistent with other parts of her character, like not understanding sarcasm, but it works well for her being the main antagonist of this season. good on maggie for standing up to her!! bad on maggie for accidentally letting her into the bookshop.

it's a nice touch that aziraphale has battery-powered candles and lots of fire extinguishers to make sure the bookshop fire never happens again. also quite a reasonable justification for having multiple fire extinguishers for nina and maggie to use as weapons. lesbians fighting demons!

interesting revelations as crowley in heaven reads/experiences gabriel's file. i was confused at the time about why gabriel would say no to armageddon 2, but it makes sense after the beezlebub montage.

the gabriel/beezlebub shippers were right!?!!?! massive win for them. they really speedran aziraphale and crowley's whole arc, with making an agreement out of convenience, spending more time together enjoying human things, falling in love, realizing their own sides weren't as good as they seemed, ultimately running away together. the use of the song "every day" was sweet. it seemed kind of out-of-character for s1 gabriel and beezlebub but i suppose people change.

the "war" aziraphale started was over fairly quickly. bit anticlimactic.

the metatron was a plot twist. he seems very similar to aziraphale in a lot of ways. if aziraphale had had him as a mentor-figure from the beginning, things would have turned out very differently.

nina and maggie are so real for calling out crowley and aziraphale on meddling in their love life. they recognize how similar the two pairs are! probably a good choice that nina and maggie aren't going to immediately date since nina just got broken up with, but it's made clear that they care for each other and will probably date once nina is ready.

oh gosh we have to talk about the conversation between crowley and aziraphale. crowley has finally gotten up the courage to confess his feelings after six millennia!! only aziraphale is intending a completely different conversation about the metatron's offer. oh aziraphale can't you see why being an angel again and being your second in command isn't crowley's dream scenario??! it would mean crowley giving up his whole identity. when aziraphale was talking about how heaven is good and right, i could practically hear crowley thinking "you still believe that?!" it feels like aziraphale is taking a step backward. from his perspective though, it must sound like the perfect offer, and you can see how excited he is to tell crowley, and how devastated when crowley doesn't like it. and they revert back to their millennia-old dynamic of crowley wheedling aziraphale to go off and choose their own side, and aziraphale retreating to the safety of his moral high ground. bravo to david tennant and micheal sheen for their acting, but also they broke my heart.

the kiss. i'm screaming and internally sobbing. i had it spoiled for me that there was a kiss in this season (unfortunately, it's one of the first suggestions when you type good omens into youtube), but i wasn't expecting it like this.

bentley, now is not the time to play "a nightingale sang in berkley square."

to be clear, i'm not exactly mad at neil gaiman and the writers. they're obviously setting up a season 3 (which amazon better give them) and hopefully have a happy ending in mind for aziraphale and crowley. but that will take years and in the meantime i'm shaking with frustration!

i'm off to write a post-s2 fic maybe? or just unblock all the good omens spoiler tags and reblog a flood of posts. or cry.

[seoafin]

i just finished the last the bear episode…..wow so many thoughts they ate truly wow like the bear is just so fucking good. AND IM GLAD U AGREE ABOUT CLAIRE PRETTY GIRL BUT SO FUCKING BORING AND U KNOW WHAT SYD N MARCUS R ALSO BORING AS SHIT TOGETHER love them separately tho but omg richie…richie man richie made me wanna cry when he kept telling carmy he loved him while carmen was dogging the shit outta him in that freezer ughhhhh i love my bf i literally love him so much i have main character loving syndrome and omg mikey when he was throwing those forks at saul goodman would u be down to like talk more in depth on ur thoughts of the final episode and the season overall and how hot carmen and his brother r n how amazing it would be feel to get a train ram by both of them. also u think carmens got some kind of ocd? i love my obsessive compulsive boyfriend so much

spoilers for the bear s2

yeah i had to skip the claire scenes because it was just SO boring. syd and carmy have that chemistry and connection i rlly hope this is a slowburn type of situation because i can really see the two of them together. also i love marcus but not with syd. really wish the writers didn't give marcus the unrequited love trope with syd because they genuinely work better as friends encouraging each other rip. hope the next season sees them working better together as friends bc i love marcus he deserves the world.

RICHIE RICHIE RICHIE HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!! he just wants a place to belong and i think he's been trying to carve that little space out for himself whether that be in the bear family or the restaurant or literally his OWN family....i get why he was so defensive over carmy coming and changing everything in the restaurant....it meant that he'd be the odd one out again. he'd be displaced and forced to find another place to belong. so so glad he came through in the end with all the orders. i hope the restaurant finally makes him content!! also richie screaming to love story in the car HE'S SO REAL.

while not every semi side character had the spotlight this season i think this season rlly did tina and marcus soooo good. loved seeing tina flourish and come into her own a chef. her smile....so lovely. i loved seeing marcus in coppenhagen like will poulter should NOT be looking that fine kneading bread. but somehow.

but like i said i simply did not care about the claire scenes i literally would have taken any other character getting screen time especially since carmy broke up with her anyway. would've loved seeing more syd and her dad tbh.

im so glad this season finally elaborated on the dysfunctional bear family and shed a little more light on micheal and the person he was. i was clinging to the edge of my SEAT watching that fork scene. honestly i don't think carmy has OCD i think that man has PTSD fjnskdfjsdk like all that verbal abuse from working at the number one restaurant in the world....it makes me think he was somehow seeking the dysfunctional aspects of his household and almost finding comfort in the abuse in his dynamics with the head chef(???) dude. especially since we see carmy unwittingly replicating those very same dynamics in the kitchen with syd and then even in the freezer screaming at richie the same exact abuse that head chef told him. he's useless he's a waste of space etc. but richie choosing to respond with kindness and telling him he loves him.....wow....it was such a touching moment to see and i say that genuinely considering richie also yells at him about how carmy can't let himself be happy. it says so much that carmy himself says that he shouldn't seek amusement or enjoyment which im sure speaks to larger issues than just his self esteem issues. i rlly hope the next season does a deep dive into carmy's family and the dynamics of his relationship with micheal and his mother!!!! i definitely think there's something coming with that considering how sugar is going to become a mother soon and how their mother showed up to the restaurant but left out of guilt.

i need a bit more time to formulate my thoughts sorry i just barfed this out i finished the ep like 15 minutes ago LOL

[shandy-and-champagne]

Okay hold on hold on hold on, I was just listening to the tommee profit cover of chasing cars? (you know the one) WELL it gave me an idea.

What if, in S5 there are so many apocalypse byler moments, sat around a campfire, patching up wounds, isolating together etc etc etc, and one of the storylines of s5 is Mike slowly accepting his feelings with NO intention to do anything about them, thinking Will pushed him towards El, until the painting gets brought up to El (you know the drill)

Well I just had a 4k cinematic daydream that at the end of the season, Will has gone and no one can find him, Mike is losing his shit and then we see them realise Will has gone to Vecna himself, (Deathly Hallows style).

I'm picturing: Will standing in front of Vecna, resigned, Mike's face as he realises all at once where Will's gone and that he loves him back and that he's going to die. Mike sets off running, people screaming at him to come back because they need a plan, but Mike knows there's no time so he stupidly keeps going.

The music builds, some tense, cinematic, heartbreaking score as the camera cuts between Will quietly crying but accepting, Vecna's voice over, and Mike running flat out through the upside down, unheeding of the vines and monsters and literally running so desperately he can't see straight.

But because of this, Vecna feels and sees him coming, so when he arrives Vecna's reaction is immediate and as Mike throws himself in front of Will Vecna severely wounds/impales Mike instead, just to dangle what could've been in front of Will. Just see Will LOSE it.

The others arrive on Mike's heels, El distracts Vecna, Will collapses with Mike in his arms and the music becomes soft and delicate like a lullaby. Mike thinks he's a goner, so he confesses, bleeding out in Will's lap, but Will out right refuses to let him go and is begging for him to stay. To wake up. There's a fight going on in the background but it pales in comparison to the emotions being felt at that moment and the audience realises the show was never about the monsters it was about the characters.

In the end it's the power of Will's love and grief that keeps Mike just alive enough to save him and also helps El finish off Vecna by destroying the upside down. When Mike wakes he's in the hospital paralleling s1, and Will is there paralleling s2, and Will is holding Mike's hand to his face, crushing it in a devil's claw grip like we've only ever seen Mike give. Mike speaks in his Will Voice™, and Will looks up so fast and tries to get out a reprimand to Mike for being so fucking stupid, but he's too busy crying in relief.

The rest of the party come in later and Lucas wheels Max in and there's a group hug and everyone is absolutely ripping into Mike for being the biggest lovesick idiot they've ever met. Max says he looks like shit and Mike is so offended because she can't even see him— zoom out fade to black etc etc then epilogue :)

This was word vomit at its finest but just listen to the song trust me<3

[zontiky]

okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream

this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd

pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh

The Hargreeves siblings are dead.

Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.

When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.

He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.

Anyway.

Klaus.

He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.

Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.

“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.

His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”

Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.

Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”

Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.

Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry. 

And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)

The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.

righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol

five shows up

he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts

god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk

somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober

or maybe hes high for all eternity?

for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober

so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers

asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry

he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,

if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,

ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless

and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge

five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him

dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse

OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along

i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((

for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist

IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK

okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.

1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves

after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit

which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse

bc theyd:

trust each other more

already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge

are working as a team from the very beginning

have open lines of communication

yeah uh. so there

vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen

oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf

there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar

so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise

okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd

2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist

this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on

subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk

aaaaaa

five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd

is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting

either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train

3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back

this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO

basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk

4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist

five with a gun but hes sad now

i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different

and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??

SCREAMS

i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)

subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something

yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd

subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind

i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa

okay jesus christ i think that’s all

I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3

[thoschei-rights]

Even more Who Fic ideas I can’t write bc I’m lazy

Okay maybe not lazy- I don’t think I’m lazy? I just really struggle keeping attention, and after a paragraph I’m bored? I struggle to stick with thing?? Idk? I dunno how to explain- but yeah take my ideas and run with them if you like them?? Heck if you write them, hit me up, and I’ll literally link them in this post <3

Okay so some of these exist already but they’re all mostly text fics? But can we please have more Eleven/Dhawan!Master fics?? I think the fandom has mostly just accepted their original meeting was while he was Eleven because he’s the only New Who Doctor not to have a Master Post-Ten? (Look I bolded post-ten so yall don’t think I’m ignoring Nine and The War Doc??) Can we not have the Master lowkey flirting with Eleven and Eleven being flustered af bc Eleven was a baby :’) Idk? I just- I have no excuses haha

This is an idea Ive had for a while, because I like River and y’know? Space Wives?? Please? :’) But anyway, my biggest love would be Thirteen in the Library episodes? Thirteen lowkey infiltrating the exploration squad or whatever the fudge they were called, she could pass as a normal person albeit a bit eccentric? Because River definitely doesn’t know that face if the Husbands of River Song is anything to go by? Thirteen promising herself she’s not there to get involved or change anything, she’s just there to see River one more time- but then Oop- she get’s involved gg :’) Its up to you how much she changes, if anything gets overwritten? Go crazy yo-

This prompt contains Broadchurch S2 spoilers btw Okay this one is a crossover? Sorry. Normally I’m not a crossover person, I just don’t like them most of the time unless they’re really well written? I read an amazing D:BH x Marvel crossover once?? ANYWAY. I’m going off on one... Broadchurch x Who fics aren’t rare.. but ones including Thirteen are hella rare and it makes me so sad?? But anyway, I finished season 2 the other day and lol at they end, Paul is all like lol bye Joe off to Sheffield you go... and I’m just there fucking screaming? Imagine right? Joe is just chilling in Sheffield being the shitstain that he is? And he sees Thirteen? and he’s like? fuck? what? help? Extra points if she’s being super gay with Yaz or she’s lowkey with the Master :’) but either way Joe is pissing himself bc he’s like holy fuck i’m being haunted or karma or- idk :’) extra extra points if Thirteen spots this random human staring and thinks he’s being homophobic or racist or smth and she lowkey gives him a glare and hESHJBF,DJKBFHDHJKFSDG I’m fine. fuck. i’m honestly fine. Joe deserves jail thanks he made my baby cry :ccc

nOW I have that out of the way- iMAgine lets kill hitler but when River gives him her regenerative shizzle, it heals him yes, but he also regenerates into Twelve? bc by this point the ponds have witnessed Mels > River regeneration so they’re aware of the concept? but now? their young energetic puppy of a doctor is a grumpy scot? and they’re whiplash af? but they aren’t the type to get judgemental? bc he’s still the doctor? I think if the ponds ever had to deal with a regen, they’re definitely in the group that would be accepting and wouldn’t taken ten years to get over it (LOOKING AT YOU CLARA YOU MEANIE???) Rory having a mid-life crisis bc now he has TWO anger scot peoples 

Clara breaking Thirteen out of prison bc we’ve all seen the Jack versions but hi Clara can’t get back to Gallifrey to be put back in her timestream if iTS ALL DESTROYED SO IS SHE IMMORTAL??/ Anyway yeah Clara is like lmao psyche I’m gonna go save the dork from prison bc ur not telling me she doesn’t keep tabs on him? pft. Thirteen is like woah holy shit Clara? and Clara is like woah holy shit yoU REMEMBER ME AND YOU’RE GORGEOUS AND WOAH SHIT NOW IM GAY?? :’) and then Jack bursts in and he’s like oh i was late which one of you are the doctor- :’) 

Asylum of the Daleks except Eleven literally takes Dalek Oswin with him? and news spreads among the universe? the doctor and a dalek> traveling? together? it causes the biggest shOOKETH in the history of shOOKETHs? imagine landing places and peoples reactions to a fuCKING DaleK OH SHIT WE GON DIE but then woah?? a literal sassy female-sounding dalek? hi bye wtf? Yes. We stan Dalek Oswin.

Thasmin bc I need to make sure yall know deSPITE THE USERNAME I DO ACTUALLY DIE FOR THASMIN TOO YKNOW??? anyway, the house-tardis (housis) likes Yaz, bc everyone likes Yaz, have you met her? she’s precious? we love? anyway the housis takes Yaz to the Doctor bc Yaz is lowkey begging bc she needs to save her- she doesn’t know what happens but- she hopes and- anyway the housis takes her to prison and yeet Yaz is a badass and breaks her out? Thirteen is like woAH im gay af when Yaz deadass throws a guard over her shoulder or smth and she’s like I DONT APPROVE OF TH E VIOLEN C E but she’s also gay crisis af :’) we just have lots of prison break alternatives in this church

Can i throw in another broadchurch crossover? I like these... The Master escapes the Kasaavin realm and ends up in Broadchurch? He’s bare confused why everyone looks like the doctor or his/her/their human pets :’) he lowkey does double takes every two seconds. without a tardis he’s forced to live as a human for a bit, while trying to contact the doctor, bc as much as he doesnt wanna admit it, he needs her to give him a lift to his tardis lmao- anyway she eventually turns up and idk , everything falls to shit bc the general public are so confused bc now there’s two beths :’)

the fam end up in petes world after a shitshow in the votex :’) maybe someone crashes into them (lol probably the master being a bish) and yep. thirteen is like o shit nope i cant do this- but the fam wanna explore, so she can’t refuse. and ofc, cliche af but oFC THEY RUN INTO ROSE? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WE NEED BLONDE BABIES TOGETHER THANKS? maybe thirteen is trying to pretend to be normal and human and its a disaster and the fam are confused but play along, maybe they’re dragged into an alien issue and its all running and shit? maybe meta doc is dead? maybe thirteen wants to tell rose who she is so bad but? she cant? things are so different now? she’s changed so much> she’s scared? jkhflkjhg precious- but yeah take it as you wANT YO

the fam meeting missy. you can set missy pre-dhawan, post-dhawan, I’m not bothered? personally I really like post-dhawan but it’s fine. the fam are like oo whose this aND IT DOESNT CONNECT THEY’RE THE MASTER BC MISSY IS A NORMAL NAME SO THEY DONT THINK- but then it comes to light and they’re like HYJKFGUIGFDSLUHGSUHL maybe they’re angry and confrontational, maybe they’re defensive and shook?? i dunno but missy and fam are the dream squad thanks-

same as last time, this has lots of typos and gramatical errors, shit punctuation and half the time i forgot to capatalize... BUT i lowkey have a big ass bandage around a finger on my left hand and its hard to type- (i was a numpty and cut a bit off my finger at work) SO YEAH I HAVE AN EXCUSE- ?? haha jokes im just a mess... but yeah I’ll fix this post up evenbtually... 

[sleepingfancies]

I’m mad and it’s about my son so you already KNOW I have a lot to say here.

The thing that is so infuriating about Chris Manawa’s situation and subsequent death is the timing and literal execution of his story line. Get ready, because there’s a hell of an essay below.

Chris Manawa got scratched out of FTWD in S2 after his fan support plummeted when he started down a rocky, arguably sketchy path. But here’s the question of the day: how would that storyline have ended if the writers hadn’t gotten cold feet about it? Too bad we’ll never know, but let’s dissect what’s so goddamn frustrating about this. In stages, broken down, so y’all can follow.

*****************

1. Inherent Good vs. Inherent Evil vs. That Little Grey Area

 Let’s talk about Rick Grimes for a second. Our guy Rick went completely off the rails in S3 after Lori’s death, and still had moments in S4 and S5 where his actions were pretty “yikes” (i.e. leaving desperate, likely harmless hitch hikers to walkers, slaughtering people in a church, ripping a guy’s throat out with his teeth, etc).

“But Clara,” you say, “those acts were justified.”

Well, partially, sure. But on the other hand - that’s what the writers have lulled us into thinking. We know that Rick has seen some shit, been through some shit, and had to make some shit decisions. We know he’d do anything to protect Carl and Judith. He’d do anything to protect The Group. He doles out justice like he’s a walking gavel. We automatically give him a pass for this. He’s a damaged man and those are his family members; we can understand him going a little cuckoo sometimes. And besides, Rick would never go “dark side.” No matter how ruthless Rick can get, there is never any real, honest to god danger that Rick might completely snap. And if it ever seems like Rick is going down a bad road and losing fan support, well, the writers just throw in someone worse - like Shane, the Governor, the Terminus cannibals, or Negan. So long as there’s someone inherently bad, no one will start to wonder if Rick is still a capable leader.

The lack of anyone inherently bad in FTWD immediately handed Chris an extreme disadvantage when it came to his arc. We, as viewers, were simply not allowed to see his actions compared to the actions of someone who had solely poor intentions. We were not allowed to see the actions of a traumatized teenage boy in comparison to a grown ass man holding a barbed wire baseball bat who simply doesn’t care who lives or dies, so long as he’s alpha male (you know who we did get to see that comparison with? Carl fucking Grimes).

Let’s talk about why that is, shall we?

***********************

2. Before (The Good), During (The Bad & the Ugly), and After (The Good)

With most major/minor characters (or even antagonists) in stories of all kinds (but especially televised stories), we see their “before and after” to trauma and challenge. Daryl and Carol had abusive family backgrounds that explain how they can behave and think sometimes. Shane genuinely thought Rick was dead and grew attached to Lori and Carl in the chaos, began to feel responsible for them, even love them. Even at his worst, he continually brings this up, and to a point it does explain how he can think and behave sometimes. Even the Governor had a tragic backstory, both initially and after he lost Woodbury.

Chris Manawa’s storyline is not a “before and after” story, it’s a “right here, right now” story. 

When the apocalypse really kicks in, we as an audience find ourselves right smack in the mid-beginning of Chris’ development. Think about it; he watches his mom get shot in the head, he’s thrust into a world where he isn’t safe anymore, and he’s surrounded by people who make him feel like an outcast. Add the cherry on top that he’s literally just a 16 year old kid, well shit, now you have a traumatized, isolated character who is neither mentally nor emotionally prepared to handle the situation.

What does this result in? Fucked up shit. Bad decisions. Anger - deep-seated, simmering anger that is not being dealt with, but just continually building. Look, I love my mom. Love my mom. She’s the best person I know. I look up to her, and if my parents got divorced and my dad kept telling me to give my “new family” a try, I wouldn’t want to either. I’d stay with my mom. I’d trust my mom. I’d know that she was the one constant in my life who would never voluntarily leave me or force me to hang out with my step-siblings. And then, she gets infected. No one understands by what. My mom is going to die, and then she dies because my dad shoots her in the head in front of me. In that scenario, personally, I would be beyond distraught. I would be beyond angry. I would withdraw and cut myself off and mourn and smash shit and yeah, I’d probably dissociate so fucking hard. Especially after finally trying to reach out to my step-family and getting shut the fuck out.

We don’t get to see the resolve of Chris’ backstory, because his backstory is his present in FTWD. Think. About. It. This is the kinda shit you’d expect to hear 5 minutes of over sad piano music as the narrator looks off into the mid-distance on TWD. This is the kind of backstory you’d expect to hear from someone like Daryl, or Beth. Hell, this almost is Beth’s arc.

And, sadly enough, Chris’ arc being shown presently rather than presented as backstory is almost precisely what killed him. My poor traumatized son. My third and final point is to finally settle this bullshit comparison once and for all, bc y’all see fit to do my son dirty.

***************

3. Carl vs. Shane vs. Negan

You know what made Shane so despicable? The fact that despite the many chances Rick gave him, he continually fought only for himself and his best interests, he continually wanted what Shane thought Shane deserved. He was selfish, arrogant, close-minded, obsessive, and downright untrustworthy.

Does literally any of that sound like Chris? Chris, the boy who tried to help Alicia over a fence and got punched in the face for it? Chris who tried so many fucking times to alert Travis and Madison that he was NOT FUCKING OKAY and needed help but they ignored him at every turn? The boy who kept making steps to leave the group because he thought they were better off without him there? The poor thing might’ve turned suicidal if he had been forced to stay with them.

“But Clara,” you cry, “remember that time Chris shot an innocent man?”

Yes, I do. I remember when my sneaky son tackled Travis pretending he just wanted a hug. I remember my angry garbage boy taking so much satisfaction in axing walkers between a fence.

You know who else shot an innocent man? Carl Grimes.

You know who else repeatedly takes pleasure in killing zombies? Carl Grimes.

You know who acts condescending, dangerous to their own families, and remark on the fuckability of every woman they meet? Shane and Negan.

You know who DOESN’T act condescending, dangerous to their own families, and remark on the fuckability of every woman they meet? Carl Grimes and Chris Manawa.

Huh. It’s almost like... Chris would’ve been another Carl Grimes, if he had had a competent parent who’d recognized his trauma and helped him through it. If the writers hadn’t chickened out by the fandom backlash and decided they were going to see Chris’ arc through rather than cut it short while they felt like they were ahead.

***************

BONUS ROUND: Trauma, Dissociating, and Cries for Help

Let’s just peep at some things Chris said while he was alive, mainly in his almost-final moments.

---

(when Travis is skeptical about joining James, Derek, and Brandon because  the Clarks are a perfectly nice group) “[Derek and Brandon] look at me different [from the Clarks].”

(When Travis says Chris is making a mistake by trusting Derek and Brandon) “I would hide at recess every day because the football guys used to make fun of me. What’d you tell me? ... The lesson was to fit in. I’m fitting in.”

(when Travis protests at Chris’ attachment to Derek and Brandon, saying he’s only known them for two days) “They’re my friends. James is my friend.”

(when Travis says they don’t need Derek and Brandon) “I do.”

(when Travis asks for the date) “No, dad, I lost track. What does it matter?”

(when Travis remarks he should’ve helped Chris) “I’m no good. Look at me. I’m no good!”

(when Travis asks what Chris is doing killing walkers behind a fence) “Making myself useful.”

---

Like. Holy shit, how does this not SCREAM to y’all that this is a kid who has a history of feeling like an unwanted outcast and he needs help my fuckignfw GOD this boy just needed HELP

He’s depressed and dissociating and angry and JESUS. He latched on to Derek and crew in two days because he’s that fucking desperate to be wanted and included and in on the joke for once

TL;DR don’t come for my son because I am upset and moody about this and he will always be more of a parallel to Carl than to Negan or Shane and I’m so goddamn FRUSTRATED that the writers didn’t have the guts to just fucking finish his fucking arc and let him be at peace god fucking damn I just

FUCK

[san-bika]

Battle for a Soul - Voltron fic

So this fic was brought on by rewatching the Azula and Zuko Agni Kai a couple (hundred) times. I cried writing it soooo Please listen to this on repeat if you feel like visualizing Keith and Lance and crying: Last Agni Kai or you can try Reconciliation from the ATLA soundtrack. Feel free to see this as a Klance or friendship fic. 

The only other thing to know is that in this universe, the Paladins have evolved the powers of their lions and that Lance succumbed to his insecurities while Keith was acting as Black Paladin and fell under the sway of Haggar after he was captured.

Rating: T - violence, manipulation

Pairings: Klance (ish)

Length: 1687 words

Tags: S2 continuation, Black Paladin Keith, paladin powers, angst, manipulated Lance

Keith forced the fire in his veins to a dull roar, knowing that he needed Haggar alive, that one move of his sword at her throat would cause him to fail his mission. 

And failure wasn’t something he would accept. 

He rasped at the dark figure, “Give him back to us. Now.“ 

The witch smiled. "All you had to do was ask, halfbreed." 

His hand twitched, correcting itself before something outrageous could happen, like Haggar’s head sailing across the floor. Still, she noticed the weakness and met his gaze, a farcical smile twisting across her thin face. 

Keith kept his gaze impassive and tightened his grip. This was no cat and mouse game. One false move and she’d be dead and Lance’s location lost forever. 

"I’ll call him over. Don’t do anything rash now. You wouldn’t like the consequences.” She turned and cackled into the hall, “We are ready for you, Paladin." 

And Keith froze. Why was Lance just waiting for him? Why would Haggar let him roam free after months of imprisonment? 

A curling wave of danger hit the back of his mind and rolled in his gut and he jumped back just as a spray of sharp ice shards shot out from the dark corridor. 

A familiar figure strolled forward, tall and lanky just had he remembered. But no longer in the white suit of the paladins but the black and purple that he hated so much. He could barely recognize him. 

Lance seemed ethereal, seemed lankier, like he hadn’t been fed, and looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. Considering Haggar had imprisoned him, both were likely. His hair was unkempt, falling into his eyes and long past his ears. 

It could be an imposter if he didn’t instinctively know him, his aura, his quintessence. The part of them connected by Voltron and more, told him that this was their lost friend, shattered by the druids and remade into… something.  

His eyes were the worst, like he wasn’t really seeing anything. Blue chips flinty and cold, no hint of warmth or humor. 

And something else was off. Lance held himself tightly straight but as though his spine was twisted around itself. His head cocked at angle made him seem arrogant. He was not here as a friend. 

As his face was lit up, Keith could see a cruel half-smile. "Keith, you’re not gonna fight back?” Lance bowed his head low and chuckled darkly. “Scared you’ll lose?"  Keith lowered his bayard, fighting the wave of cold fear that overtook him.  

"Lance, what are you doing? I don’t want to fight you!" 

Lance looked up, eyes narrowed with something colder than hatred. It was hard to see in the strange Galran light, but it looked like he was faintly glowing, a dark aura surrounding him. 

Keith glanced over towards the witch to see a similar glow surrounding her hands and that feral grin marring her face.  

"Of course you don’t. Why would Voltron’s best bother with a second-rate cargo pilot, right?" 

He took a step forward, raising his palms just as Coran and Allura had taught them to and the frost that Keith was so used to counting on in battle started to appear on his fingers. 

He quickly put away his bayard and called on the lethal combination of powers he had acquired: controlling the air as the Black Paladin, and summoning fire as the Red. 

He could barely stop himself from growling.  "Lance, listen to me, please. Haggar is using you! She’s done something to you! Come back to Voltron! You’re ours! Our Blue Paladin! Open your eyes!" 

Before he had finished he had to throw himself back to avoid the barrage of ice sent his way. Lance laughed again, panting even though he had barely moved. "But Keith, that’s exactly what she did for me. She opened my eyes to see that Voltron will NEVER need me when they have YOU!" 

And Lance shut his mouth and ran at him, summoning a wave of dark water that Keith barely beat away with a gust of cold wind. 

Before he could do anything, a second wave came from behind him and smothered him, wild currents pulling him to the ground in a whirlpool. Keith struggled, trying to hold as much air in as he could. He gathered his strength and moved his arms outwards to create a crest of fire, blasting the water away.  

Without thinking he punched his fist out, shocked, and a funnel of red flames hit Lance on his chest, too fast to dodge. The former paladin fell a few feet away before he rose again, baring his teeth, eyes glittering dangerously. 

Haggar hissed from her spot by the wall, "You see, don’t you, they want you dead! They want you gone, just as I told you.” Lance stood with his head down, trembling terribly for a long minute. He looked like he was fighting tears. 

Haggar spoke again, “Quickly! Finish him before he kills you!" 

Keith shouted out, "No, Lance, don’t listen!" 

But it was too late, the other teen lifted his head out of shadow, sneering. He staggered forward, gasping, and Keith realized then that the aura he’d seen wasn’t imaginary. It was still there, darker and brighter at the same time, more tangible than before. 

Haggar wasn’t giving Lance more power, more strength. She was stealing it from him, taking it from his very life force. That’s why Lance was stronger than he’d ever been…. and why he was falling apart, taking deep huffing breaths and barely keeping his balance as he threw out punishing attacks. 

"NO! LANCE!" 

It took all his strength to block the ice that flew at him, and even then some of it had stuck him through the thigh. Keith burned it away, ignoring the stream of blood oozing down his leg as he realized he’d need to overwhelm Lance if he had any chance of saving him. 

But he didn’t have water, or earth, or plant life, something he could use to somewhat gently stun Lance. His weapons were all fury and danger. He could steal the breath away from him. He could burn him. And he’d have to or Lance would literally fight to his death. 

Haggar was trying to kill Keith at any cost. 

Keith dodged again, and again, and again. He had no choice and finally kicked out, creating a vortex of flame that flew too fast for Lance to dodge. 

The paladin barely managed to erect an ice barrier but the fire licked up his arms and the sleeves of his armor briefly. Lance shrieked and stumbled back, before tearing at his clothes and screaming at Keith. 

"I knew it,” he grit out, using his ice to briefly soothe his burning arms. Tears slid down his cheeks. and his face was twisted with anger and pain. “I knew she was right. That you all wanted me out. That YOU wanted me out!" 

Lance laughed again, a bitter high-pitched wail that was almost a cry. Keith took a step forward before being forced back from Haggar’s lightning. 

"It’s not like that. She’s killing you, Lance!” He felt droplets burn their way down his cheeks. He could barely speak from the smoke and ash, his own emotion drowning him. 

Lance looked up slowly, his face lit with a grim smile and shattered eyes. Body swaying but voice soft and steady. 

“Let’s end this, Keith."  

No. 

No. 

He grasped for anything, any memory to convince Lance that he was trying to save him, but the witch had a grasp too strong to fight: Lance’s mind was infected and had been over the months he’d been missing. It would take twice as long to heal him, save him from the darkness. 

Keith could only pray that they’d make it out alive now. 

And the battle began again, harsher and faster. 

Lance attacked, fell, stood, was burned, and attacked again. He stopped talking and just stared with those accusing eyes. 

No self-preservation, no defense, just careless aggression. 

Keith teetered on the edge of panic. He had to save his friend. He had no way to save his friend. Shards of ice ripped into him, making sharp cuts and stabbing his face, his arms, his legs. Every hit from his fellow paladin carved into his heart. 

Finally Lance raised a hand, cradling in it an orb glowing an eerie blue-white. 

And Keith felt that instinctual warning not to let Lance attack with that. That the quintessence lost would finish Lance, forever, and possibly him. 

So he took a long breath and pushed past all the distractions, past the worry whether Allura and Hunk had succeeded in rescuing Shiro, or whether Pidge, Coran, and Matt were fending off the Galra. 

He found the fabric of his courage inside him and wrapped it around his heart in one moment. Then Keith let it go with a desperate scream, wrapping hot air around burning fire, creating a bomb and flinging it at Lance and Haggar. 

As soon as he threw it, he could see the reflection in the pinpoint of Lance’s eye, the fear, and he ran after it, praying that the other paladin would draw an ice-shield up somehow. 

But it struck the Blue Paladin too fast in a torrent of wind and flame. Haggar shrieked as the heat and fire washed over her too and he lost track of her, focused on Lance. 

He was covered in burns, red shine and sooty skin on his hands, arms, and face, Galra armor seared off, and barely awake, barely alive. 

He couldn’t move at all, and only cried out in anger, gasping, unable to stop from crying, the hurts in his mind as bad as his physical injuries. 

Keith’s own voice was barely there, as he cradled Lance and rasped into his helmet. "Coran, we need immediate extraction. I-I’ve got Lance. But you need to hurry. It’s touch and go right now." 

And he waited for his team, all of his focus on his friend, on the sighs and sobs, trying to sooth them with quiet hushes.