#i just finished episode 9 pt 1 i think and i think i’m dead now

[heliohmystars]

FINALS OVER

oh my god if i had to sit through ONE MORE spellcasting lecture i would’ve jumped out the window, i’m being so serious.

thank god the semesters over, i’m so tired of studying =_=

we’re having a bash at the black pit? i think? tracker and I will be there, fig might be playing- im unsure, her touring schedule’s kinda nuts

swing around :)

[thepringlesofblood]

Major ACOC Spoilers

so, there are a few posts out there pointing out two math errors in acoc ep9 - Liam’s damage to Ciabatta being miscounted as 67 instead of 77, and Jet’s riposte for 13 damage not hitting Ciabatta when it should’ve. this is true. this might lead one to wonder, “well, if those extra 23 points of damage were counted, would Ciabatta be dead? would Jet have lived?”

I wanna clear things up for all of yall who are watching ACOC for the first time after the ravening war, so i did the math (under the cut) by counting his hp in the finale as he took damage.

Ciabatta had 118 hp

it wouldn’t have made a difference. if both errors were fixed and he was dealt the full 77 + 13, he’s still walking out of there with 28 hp.

to be clear: absolutely no shade on the intrepid heroes/brennan. no one clown on this post about whether they should’ve done this or that. it was 3am in a warehouse in Hollywood on a wicked messed up shooting schedule. Jet’s death was a beautiful, emotional scene, and it’d be weird and narratively dissonant to go back and redo it bc some math was wrong.

i did this math bc my logic brain just needs to know how the numbers do for my own personal peace of mind. given the several other posts I’ve seen trying to calculate this same thing, others have the same problem. so. enjoy.

Ciabatta doesn’t physically appear in the finale until pt 2

“The last Ceresian force musters, appears at the front of the wall with Imperator Ciabatta” is at 1:33:00ish

first damage done to him is by Saccharina, when she Cone of Colds his whole force in front of the castle for 41 damage (1:37:08). it hits him and the forces he was leading, and they do not save for half.

after that we have this exchange:

Zac: Ciabatta's-

Brennan: Ciabatta is still very much alive.

Emily: Okay. He's very much alive though, he's doing really well?

Brennan: Yes.

Emily: Okay. Then just to fuck with him, I'm gonna fire breathe on him.

and she does. Cinnamon uses his breath weapon to deal 57 damage, demolishing the rest of the forces

Brennan: He does not save for half. He goes from looking wounded but okay to injured, badly injured.

then of course the final damage is done by Ruby w the water-steel dagger

Siobhan: It's 4d6.

Brennan: 4d6, he just rolled a natural 4 on his Constitution save.

Siobhan: Great, it's actually three Constitution saves. It's 12.

Brennan: 12 damage, but you also add your sneak Attack.

Ally: Oh!

Brennan: Yeah.

Siobhan: 12, 14, 16.

Brennan: More than 20?

Siobhan: Yeah.

Brennan: Standing in the burned and frozen remains of his soldiers, what happens to Imperator Ciabatta?

[as a 7th lvl rogue, Ruby has 4d6 sneak attack dice]

so, presumably, Ciabatta had 20 hp left before being stabbed.

41 + 57 + 20 = 118

now, I highlighted those exchanges for a reason. It is technically possible that Brennan was using a similar mechanic for Ciabatta leading his troops as the PCs leading theirs- being attacked as a troop by another troop does deal the commander as an individual some of the damage, but not all. so, the Cone of Cold may not have dealt all 41 points of damage to him. here’s how he’s described after the Cone of Cold

“very much alive” “doing really well”

after breath weapon “He goes from looking wounded but okay to injured, badly injured“

so it is possible that the Cone of Cold did not do full damage bc of troop mechanics. however. personally I feel like since Saccharina is not attacking as a troop but as an individual (with a dragon), it’s not troop v troop action.

fun fact: Saccharina’s breath weapon attack + Ruby’s finishing blow is 77 damage - the same amount of damage Liam (should have) done to Ciabatta in episode 9 (that didn’t take him down)

so as long as Saccharina’s Cone of Cold did more than 13 damage [Jet’s riposte] to Ciabatta (which I’d fucking think it would even w very unlikely troop mechanics), then it wouldn’t have made any difference.

and bc we know he took at the very least a non-zero amount of damage from the Cone of Cold (“wounded but okay”), nothing would’ve saved Jet. the other assassins had already hit, and even with the math fixed on Liam’s damage 77 would never have taken him down. the only difference even possible is that her 13 damage riposte might’ve downed him, but even that is extremely unlikely - Ciabatta would’ve had to take less than half damage from Cone of Cold, and he did not save.

[bre95611]

HI! I’m finally rewatching 15x17 so I’m doing an in-depth(ish?) super stoned commentary! Hooray!

Before I get into it, I just really have to say, god I love this season so so so much. The writing has just been beautiful, and it has me EMOTIONAL af. Anyway. Here we go!

I always like looking at the Then/Now scenes. I feel they can ring some really important storywide context to the show. A great example of this is the Pizza Man montage. This episode it starts with the conversation from a  few episodes back with Dean and Sam discussing Jack killing God.

I’ve found the Dean/Amara relationship very interesting. After how it was played up in the 15x15 Gimme Shelter, always from Dean’s perspective in a joking manner. I believe it was @verobatto-angelxhunter that discussed the Big Married Energy it gave off, Dean teasing Castiel about a woman from his past. Season 11, as the beginning of the Dabb era, has been calling my name for a rewatch lately, especially with Amara being brought back. Its always been established that the connection Dean and Amara have was not something Dean liked. It wasn’t actual attraction. I’ll talk more about this later.

I have made some random posts here and there talking about the symmetry in endings between Season 11 and Season 15, I will also dig into this more later.

Saw a post about the amount of times “world” is said, want to keep track of that. I know there is a heavy Destiel attachment, and the second time it is said is during the Then sequence, Chuck’s dialogue from the episode with the tvs, talking about how its time to clear the board. (Want to look into Chess mentions this season, maybe even Dabb era as a whole? Because obviously there’s been a game going on at the cosmic level for quite some time). It doesn’t show the scene where Dean and Cas in the kitchen comes up on the tv where Chuck calls them “the world”. but it does have that section of dialogue as t screens are being shown, bringing that to mind.

Then we have Meg 2.0 as The Shadow, Cas is confused why he is being harmed since they’re on the same side. The Shadow makes their loyalty known. Keep this in mind. Will touch on this later as well.

Shit this is a lot for the episode not even starting yet. Below the cut for more!

God Amara is a QUEEN and I love her SO MUCH.

Sam tells Cas to “just get home” cause the Bunker is his FUCKING HOME

One thing I’ve seen brought up a lot is how Dean is always very action focused. Solve the problem at hand, “cross that bridge when we get to it” type of mentality. His plans always revolve around that. Cas and Sam are always very focused on there being another way, how there is always another way, especially when one oftheir lives are at stake. Sam calls him out. Sam wouldn’t care if Dean was saying that all the time if it were actually true, wouldn’t wonder if he ever got tired of saying it if they did only ever have one choice. TFW always subverts the problem at hand. Last season, their only shot of beating Michael was the Malak Box. Season 11 was soul bomb Dean, 13 was Dean saying yes to Michael. Ya’ll see a theme yet? Dean loves to sacrifice himself. Sam’s done the same exact thing, closing the Hell gates, letting out Lucifer. Cas’s whole thing in Season 6? They’ve all done the same things. over and over. Hamster wheel. Think of what made all those endings obsolete? What made them find another way, huh?

Fuck that paragraph went somewhere I wasn’t originally taking it, but still a good take IMHO. 

I’m loving the SUITS!

I really hope that Amara is not gone. I know I’ve seen some stuff that talks about why that has to have been her last episode, but whatever. Imma still dream. And I really might have to just write a fix-it fic after the finale about Aunt Amara and Jack hanging out. 

I just noticed world again (Dean to Amara: saving the whole world’s ass)

“You and I will always help each other.” That look on Dean’s face when she said that. Not  the face of someone enjoying being flirted with by and “ex-flame” or whatever the hell

Saw a post about the generational family story that was being told (I believe it was @occamshipper) that basically has Sam is to Jack as Dean was to Sam growing up (Dean is John and Cas is Mary, super awesome read, will try to find and link in a bit). This whole family arc is about breaking the toxic circle, being a better parent than your parents, found family kinda things. So how has Dean reacted to Sam in these situations? Most recently, I think, is season 8, with the Trials. Sam was sacrificing himself, he knew that, he was okay with it. Sam was suicidal by the end of it, and Dean does what he normally does with Sam and keeps him from finishing the trials, and season 9 starts with Dean completely taking away his autonomy again, allowing Gadreel to possess him. Dean was angry, he was disappointed, he acted like Dean, and that is the kind of treatment he gets from his “big brother” father figure. But Sam breaks through his treatment, tells Jack he is brave and validates him, and doesn’t try and take away his FREE WILL.

Sam continues the path he started on when he told Dean to stop as he continuously made excuses/explained why he had kept things from Sam about Jack. He grows!! I love to see it!! He does NOT give up his FREE WILL. Guys I’m loving it. These boys are actively making HARD decisions and we are seeing growth in real time. TFW in every form has...not really lived up to its name? Sure, the world gets free will, but the boys never do. And not just in situations like they’re told they can’t do something. I’m talking constant violations of each other’s bodily autonomy. Dean all the time with Sam, Cas when he takes down the Hell wall from Sam’s mind, honestly....mostly its Sam having it violated. But the other guys have to stop fucking with it. They all need a variation. Dean needs the Free Will to stop being his father’s soldier, to live his true non performative life. Cas needs to be free of his self doubt. Permission to be happy, not happy in and of itself. Jack needs Free Will to be a fucking toddler.....

Sam SEES it dude, he knows something isn’t right, and he’s the one that figured it out like, every other time this season, too. Jesus. Dean is so desparately caught up in wanting to get the hell OUT of the hamster wheel, he’s too blind to see how deep into it he is. The first plan ANYONE gives him, he goes with it. He’s literally followed Billie’s plan because of one of her books before, and what happened? Cas and Sam brought him back from sacrificing himself. 

I’ve really enjoyed how much Sam and Dean are fighting, honestly. Like, my spec for a while now has been that the brothers are going their seperate ways at the end of all this, the only way to satisfyingly bring an impactful end to their toxic codependency that they’ve been chipping away at for the last few seasons.

Guys I’m suuuuuuuper baked,

Dean says “Someone’s gotta be the grownup here” talking to Sam about taking Jack to do the final ritual. Dean is fully his father, talking to the “older brother” Sam protecting the “special child” Jack. Dean is not  breaking the cycle established by his father, going mad with rage over his circumstances

Jesus Christ the LOOK ON SAM’S FACE when Dean says Jack’s not family. I’m dead. He looks so broken.

That line though is.....hm. All through season 14 and 15, its been established that Jack is family, their kid. When Lily Sunder comes back to help get his soul, Dean makes comments about not making them go through what she did with her daughter, and again to Belphegor in 15 when asked who he was (after a fight between Dean and Cas no less, calls him “our kid”). So this is how far Dean has spiralled? This is how he is choosing to try and deal with knowing Jack will die? Denial of his importance?

“He’s not like you. He’s not like Cas.” Dean feels he holds a different relationship with Cas than he does with Sam. Just...sayin....

Jared’s acting is......truly just phnomenal.

Man, i feel like the music is off? and it makes me think its intentional, cause Becky says something about how there’s no classic rock? So foreshadowing? nah.

This really does feel like....the last real Sam and Cas interaction. It is heart breaking really.

Alright, I’m posting this now......cause I literally just got to the first commercial break.... So 

This is pt 1 I guess.

[sssavannahhh]

Supernatural Episode Ratings Pt.1

Okay so out here in California it seems that the Lockdown rules are getting stricter and stricter by the day, which is no problem because they should be so that we can get back to some sort of normalcy eventually. However, due to this I have had an abundance of time since most of my school in the year 2020 is/was/will be online. Therefor, I did the most logical thing and rewatched Supernatural for the billionth time.

This prompted me to try and convince as many of my friends to watch it as I could, something I’ve been doing for many years now, but was never successful. UNTIL NOW! 

I finally got on of my friends to agree to watch it, with a few contingencies. He must watch it with on Netflix Party, while we have a video call on Discord, that way I can see his reaction to some of the biggest moments in the show, like all of the show... He, however, only wants to watch a few, roughly two, episodes per day. Knowing this, I made us a schedule of two episodes a day, and since we started on July 6th, we wont finish until mid-December. I told him this, got the OK from him and started watching.

I also had him rate each episode on a scale of 1 - 10, along with explaining whatever rating he was giving the episode.

So, I have like a solid 2 followers on here, so there’s literally no reason for this blog-esque post I’m making and planning on continuing to make. However, if this ever did get any recognition, I wanted a place to show people that they 1) can indeed get their friends into SPN if they try hard enough, and 2) that even someone who is mostly into anime can watch SPN and be interested enough to continue!

This friend of mine has only ever seen the first three episodes of the entire show, meanwhile I have seen all of it multiple times, so I also want to have this place to compare the rating of the show from the point of view of a first time* viewer vs. that of a hardcore binger of the show with multiple rewatches under her belt.

Now, enough with the prelude, time for the ratings!

“Pilot” S1 Ep 1: 

His rating: 7/10

Reasoning: It left something to be desired, the editing was quite poor, especially the ceiling scenes (you know the ones)

My rating: 9/10

Reasoning: Considering this was the first episode of the whole show, I think it was pretty good! When really paying attention to this episode I was able to see all the parts where they set up the whole basis for the rest of the show. Not just the “dad’s on a hunting trip” but the actual small details that are revisited years later. With the budget for all of season 1 being only $20,000, I am very proud of this first episode!

“Wendigo” S1 Ep 2:

His rating: 7/10

Reasoning: He didn’t like this episode for the same reasons as the pilot, the editing was quite poor, and there was just a lack of some sort of... je ne sais quoi

My rating: 7/10

Reasoning: I have to agree with him, there’s just something missing from this one. It is a truly great episode and the editing, even though there’s very little in this episode, could be better but will definitely improve over the years. I don’t not like the episode but it’s not my favorite from Season 1.

“Dead in the Water” S1 Ep 3:

His rating: 7/10

Reasoning: To quote him, “It wasn’t amazing, but it wasn’t bad.” Enough said.

My rating: 10/10

Reasoning: It was an amazing episode, probably one of my favorites from season 1. It sets up so much for the rest of the season and even better, the show! We learn more about what monsters are out there, other than the Woman in White and the Wendigo, both of which we hardly see of ever again. The show wouldn’t be the same without the introduction to spirits that we get from this episode and I love it.

“Phantom Traveler” S1 Ep 4:

His rating: 8.5/10

Reasoning: This one had a much better storyline than the other three episodes, the editing wasn’t great (still), but hey it’s 2005, what do you expect?

My rating: 8/10

Reasoning: I don’t like the idea of the planes but that’s a personal thing, due to my fear of heights/fear of planes due to heights. Other than that I really do like this episode a lot. Just like the previous episode, it sets up the season and the whole show for a new type of big bad, one that we see very often throughout the next 15 years, if not THE MOST common one we see. 

Okay this post was longer than I was expecting it to be, but I’ll be back with more ratings, hopefully everyday just after we watch the two episodes of the day! 

[myforeverforlife]

50 Random Things Tag!

The always lovely @crossandchange tagged me! (thank you!)

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Netflix. Since I’m on spring break, I’ve been relaxing by just going through episodes at a time. I’m limiting myself to four episodes maximum in a day. 😂

2. What makes your day better?

Getting extra sleep!

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

I managed to finish a good chunk of my homework, and I’m hoping I can finish the rest by the time I head back to school.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

I don’t really know?? I used to say Hogwarts, but like definitely a post-Harry Potter world (as much as I love magic, I’m not looking to be killed by Voldemort) Now, I feel like any place that’s got magic and is generally peaceful is fine with me, haha

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Ehh, it depends for me too. I’m horrible at relationship advice, and I’m always like”Why are you asking me?? I’ve literally only been on a handful of dates”. I’m more of a shoulder to lean on and someone to empathize with rather than someone who gives out advice. I feel weird about it, like I’m being pushy and telling people what to do or something?

6. Do you have any mental illnesses?

No, I do get anxious about things but it’s not the extent of being a constant looming presence in my life (which I’m really thankful for)

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Nope! (also thankful for this lol)

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Kacey Musgraves! I really am not a country music kind of person, but she is such a talented lyricist and singer, and she has such a soothing voice! Her lyrics are also witty and fun to decipher.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Twice, but they were very innocent and naive. I liked someone from kindergarten all the way until 7th grade, and then someone else from 8th grade until 11th grade. Both times, I was like head over heels, but both times we were just friends and I never confessed.

10. What’s your dream date?

Honestly just doing anything that keeps us moving (going to the beach, party, carnival) I hate having to sit in one place for long and I’d be pretty antsy 😂

11. What do others notice about you?

That I’m tiny! And that I look young for my age.

12. What’s an annoying habit you have?

When I get nervous or bored, I pick at the skin on my thumbs. I know it’s so bad, but I’ve been doing this since I was a kid, and I’m glad it’s gotten A LOT better since then (i made the main character in the upcoming ksoo fic have this habit too haha)

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No, we stopped talking in high school and grew apart. But we didn’t end our friendship on bad terms or anything, we just had really different friend groups and interests by then.

14. How many exes do you have?

Zero!

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Oh god I have too many playlists. I have one I listen to before I go to bed and it has like 200 songs.

16. What instruments can you play?

A tiny tiny tiny bit of piano.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

School pictures. Like pictures of stuff we made in my class because we have to make a portfolio of everything we did at the end of the semester 😂

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Also Japan! Or South Korea.

19. What’s your zodiac?

Aries!

20. Do you relate to it?

Aries are like the stubborn, hot-headed people right? That’s definitely me. Like I’m a big listener and listen more than I talk, but if I really disagree with someone and our decision is gonna end up affecting something big (grades, other people, etc.) then I am always 100% backing my own opinion and trying to convince the other person to see the same thing or at least see some of the benefits of it.

21. What is happiness to you?

Finding a bit of peace where you can relax and know that even if other stuff is stressing you out right now, you have this moment to just focus on the here and now.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

I’m always going through it. I’ve got a 12 page (minimum) paper due at the end of the semester, and I’ve been so annoyed with the fact that I can’t work on continuing fics. It’s been months since I updated anything, and I know that I have school stuff to take care of first, but it still gets to me seeing all these projects I wanted to have gotten done by now.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

Literally any decision where I decided not to speak up when I was feeling lost or unsure.

24. What’s your favorite store?

Ooh, this is a hard one. Maybe Sephora?

25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion?

Pro-choice. I don’t like to judge others for their decisions, and hope that they respect mine as well. Forcing other people to go through with a pregancy that they aren’t prepared for/that they don’t want/that could end up being terrible for their health is wrong to me.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Mentally, but I’ve been trying to get in the habit of writing one out. I do have tiny lists on my phone or on post-its (shopping list, homework to do, due dates)

27. Do you have a favourite album?

I can’t pick one! Some of my favorites are Gfriend’s Rainbow and Snowflake albums, EXO-CBX’s Blooming Days, EXO’s Exodus and of course, Jongdae’s April, and a Flower! I also used to love BTS’s The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 2 (I listened to that on repeat for a good month or so omg)

28. What do you want for your birthday?

A durable and cute purse. I’ve been using the same one since high school, and it’s still holding up but I want a more “professional” and “mature” looking one.

29. What is most people’s first impression of you?

That I’m quiet. 😂 People assume that I’m very shy (which is partly true) or that I don’t want to talk to them (which is almost never the case)

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Kids think I’m a teenager, people at school think I’m a freshman or sophomore in college.

31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping?

Next to my pillow.

32. What word do you say the most?

Either “Oh god” or “What the heck”

33. What’s the oldest age you’d date?

25

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date?

20

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you?

A teacher (which is good cause that’s what I want to do, haha)

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

Pop in general!

37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be?

Maybe Japan?

38. What is your current favorite song?

Gfriend’s Love Whisper!

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since November 2017

40. What are you excited for?

Getting through this final semester!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Definitely a listener. I like listening to what other people have to say!

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Get started on my monster 12 page paper and finding references for it.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

I never know! I guess I’ll get ideas as it gets closer to the date.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

English

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now?

5. I’m like half-dead from doing all this homework, and my eyes have been a bit red from staring at the screen 🙃

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully teaching! If not, just working with kids in any form. Marriage isn’t something I need, but I do want to have kids and pets, so hopefully I’ll be in the process of/have had adopted.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

At 16? Or 17.

48. At what age do you wanna be married?

I really don’t have a preference. I’m of the mindset where if I get married, great! If I don’t, that’s still great! I’m glad to just have supporting friends and family, and while it would be nice to be married, it’s not something that I feel I need.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be an author or a doctor!

50. What do you crave right now?

Sushi!

i’m tagging @byunfirstlady @g-exo @abangtanfangirl @trishmarieco @daelicious-jongbulge @marshmallow-phd and @crazy-gingerbread-lady

[canaryatlaw]

alright, well today was interesting. I woke up in kind of a funk, but right before waking up I’d had what seemed like a lengthy and detailed dream about my high school best friend. I have recurring dreams about her, basically the only recurring dreams I have (I used to get ones where I was driving a car and trying to brake but the brakes wouldn’t work, but they stopped years ago) but they’d been markedly less in the past few years, so it was fairly rare at this point to happen. And it just made me sad, because the dream always involves us making up in some way, and I woke up feeling an aching for something i know isn’t going to ever happen. It’s frustrating to have moved on in every possible aspect of my life (it was 8 years ago ffs) but my subconscious still seems focused on it, and idk what to do about it. So that kinda sucked. But I woke up to my alarm at 11, got ready and got an uber to go to the allergist by 11:30 to make it there for my 12:30 appointment since the drive is a bit of a hike. Made pretty good time and got there with a few minutes to spare, the last time I’d gotten caught in traffic and ended up being late, which of course bothers me to no end. They got me in with the doctor pretty quickly and we talked about what’s been going on since my last visit and that I’d basically surmised my legs get super itchy after shaving, and it didn’t go away when I switched from using shaving cream to a razor with the soap bars on the end. so we ended up doing a patch test to test for allergies to different types of metals, apparently razors can be made from a combination of different metals and alloys so it could take some time to figure out. The patch test thing is basically they taped three patches to my back which have to remain there for 48 hours, then I’ll come back and see what the results are. So we finished up there, the first thing I did upon exiting the building was call my chiropractor because I was supposed to have an appointment at 3 today but being that I had the patches on my back I didn’t think going to get my back cracked and then working in PT was a good idea, so I’m set to go back to the allergist on Thursday and after that go to the chiropractor. I did an uber pool home to try to save some money now that I didn’t have a pressing obligation I needed to get back to, and the ride was actually fairly short, so that was good. Once I got home I picked up some packages I had and dealt with them, then spent a while facetiming one of my twitter friends which was fun. At some point I got an email back from a potential job asking for an interview for Friday, so we set that up, and then they sent me a court opinion and asked me to read it before coming in, and if I had any questions to let them know before then. This is a job I actually applied for like two weeks ago and was hoping to hear back from, it’s actually in Evanston which is technically closer to me than downtown so that could work, and the work is helping write appeals for individuals who have had their disability benefits wrongfully terminated, so that’s definitely something I could get passionate about. So I read the opinion and didn’t really have any burning questions, but figured I should come up with a few that try to communicate I understood what was going on, so I’ll probably do that tomorrow. I stayed on my computer for a while until it was time for The Flash season finale. Overall I thought the episode was alright, not the most riveting of finales but it definitely had it’s good moments, I thought the plot with Wells/Thawne in the future was very well done (and even though I know their future is supposed to be very dystopian, I can’t help but be disturbed by the fact that all these years later the death penalty still exists) and they explained it a lot better because last week I didn’t have any clue what was going on with it, lol. The Nora stuff I was kinda meh on, just not really feeling it. but yeah, it was okay. After that I watched the new episode of Blackish, which I’ve never watched before, because Brandon was going to be in the episode, so I had to watch for him. It was actually really enjoyable, I liked it a lot and two of my tweets about the show got liked by the show’s writer’s twitter account so they’ve been blowing up with likes and retweets all night. Brandon was only in one scene but he played it perfectly and was excellent as always. After that I switched to 9-1-1 since I missed that last night, I knew since it was the season finale it was gonna be dramatic but oh man, this show really does get me in tears every damn week. The plot with the mail bombs had been laid so well earlier in the season to all come together very nicely in the final episode, and you better believe I was in tears watching the community members stepping up and helping lift the fallen fire truck off of Buck while everyone was watching on tv, because that shit always gets me and I’m legit tearing up just thinking about it. so yeah, I appreciate this show for the drama that it is and I’m looking forward to the next season. After that I switched over to netflix and watched a few episodes of Dead To Me, and I ended up getting up to the last episode before calling it a night. During most of this time I ended up frantically searching through my emails to try to find a confirmation email about our flight to New York next weekend, which just was not there and google flights had it shown as I had looked at the flights but never actually booked them but I KNOW I did (well, technically, Jess knew I did) so I ended up calling my dad and having him look up the credit card statement, and thankfully the charge was there in the right place, and I scrolled back in Jess and I’s messages to the day they were purchased and found a message indicated for some reason I had ended up booking them by phone for no reason I can recall at all, and apparently wrote nothing down, which was very weird, but I was just glad we found them, especially because these flights had gone up $300 since we purchased them. I’m probably going to call Spirit tomorrow and ask them to give me the details so I can at least see the reservation online and have info about it, so hopefully that will work. And yeah, once I finished the second to last episode I got in the shower, which proved to be a bit of an event since I wasn’t supposed to like, get water directly on my back where the patches are (it was okayed to shower but to try not to get them too wet) so I ended up trying to wash my hair with my head forward and my hair facing upwards towards the shower head, which was...interesting and I ended up finding a patch of hair after I had gotten out that was still very soapy, so I had to fix that lol but other than that it worked for the most part. And yeah, now I’m here. Got the psychiatrist tomorrow, not too early of an appointment but I’m dead tired because it took me forever to fall asleep last night so I’m gonna call it a night now. Goodnight my dears. Sweet dreams.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Supernatural LSB: Jared Padalecki x Platonic reader ft. Jensen and Misha pt.2

And here we go with pt. 2 and boy did I enjoy writing Round 2 because I’ve got some special surprises for ya’ll in store and trust me when I say.....I wish this would actually happen should someone of the cast compete on the show against J2, this could get u a win *wink wink hint hint*. Okay now in this there is just a fight scene that Jared does with a FAKE gun that can make the actual popping sounds but you’ll see what I’m talking about but I thought I might put a warning up for gun use (AGAIN FAKE BE-BE PISTOL GUN BUT THAT’S IT!!!) Enjoy my lovelies :)

____________________________________________________________

Soon it was time for Round 2.

“Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle, the War between Winchesters have gone through the roof but now it’s time for Round 2. Let’s see what Jared Padalecki did to prepare for his second piece”.  The crowd applauded and the camera came up on me and Jared and he gave a salute and soon the cameras began to show what he did to prepare for his second act.

He was in the costume department speaking to his costume designer and he said to her.

“We actually did this song on the show and I’ve seen this song on the show thanks to (n/n) but I want to try and go a different route”.

“Okay so we do have these and I can have them in a different color or is this good?”

“No, no that’s perfect now what about the hat?”

“Right here for you Jared”.

“Excellent”.  Soon Jared’s voice came over and it showed him back in his dressing room. “This might give me the win cause this is one of (y/n)’s favorite songs and when we did this on an episode, so the expression on her face in the episode is her true reaction. (Y/n) baby girl you’re good but,” he placed the cowboy hat on his head and said in with his Texan accent coming out, “There’s a new sheriff in town, and I’m takin that there belt back home”.

(Play up till 1:34 then skip to the next instrumental tune at 2:37 and basically kinda go from there)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py6U3XMy-AM

The stage was dark and I was getting a little scared of what song he chose for his next choice but soon the familiar guitar solo came up on the speakers and I collapsed to my chair holding my hands to my mouth.  

The spotlight came on Jared in a full black cowboy attire with a six string guitar in his hand sitting in front of a fake fireplace, and he was actually strumming it as I could actually hear it playing.  There was also a fake tree with a Wanted poster with Jared’s picture on it and his reward was for $1000.

“Yes Jared!” I heard Jensen cry out. Like a true Texas cowboy getting ready for a showdown, he slowly raised his head up then raises his head, allowing the hat to only show his eyes first as he began to sync out the words.

He put the guitar down and he walked up towards his Wanted poster and ripped it off the tree before crumbling it up and tossing it towards the audience.  He then turned towards me and pointed right at me as he synced out “I’m Wanted, Dead or alive”.  He then walked across the stage and soon it jumped right to the part where the song really begins to pick up.

Soon the lights came on and dancers dressed as sheriffs came right at Jared and for the first time that I or anyone else had ever seen on LSB instead of dancing, the stage turned into an all-out stage combat.  

Jared fake-punched one guy then as another one came with a fake-punch towards Jared, he placed his hand on his chin like he had actually gotten punched before acting like he was reconnecting his jaw and then taking the man by the arm and literally flipping him over his shoulder.

I was in shock as was LL, Chrissy and Misha while Jensen was having a ball with this. It was then Jared took out his ‘gun’ and began firing one shot which made actually popping sounds and one by one each sheriff dropped to the ground.  He blew on the gun getting rid of the ‘smoke’ before syncing out as he walked towards his “steel horse” and mounted it as he kept syncing.

It soon came to the part where Jensen, Jared and I once got to actually sing this song and I couldn’t help myself but actually sing along and I even turned to see Jensen doing the same thing and then once the verse was done, Jared synced out the last few words until the song finished and the lights exploded off.

The crowd went nuts as Jared breathed heavily and the stage combaters all got up and Jared got off the horse statue and LL came up on stage and proclaimed.

“Wow!” He now stood beside Jared and said, “Chrissy, Chrissy tell me what did you think of Jared’s second performance?”

“I think we just witnessed our first Lip Sync stage combat?” The crowd applauded and Jared tipped his hat to the crowd.

“Okay let’s go to the Supernatural guest judges, Jensen, Misha your thoughts?”

“You truly embraced our Texan culture there partner, and like Dean said Bon Jovi rocks on occasion and Jared—that occasion was now!” The crowd cheered and screamed as Jared saluted to his brother.

“I have to agree with what Jensen said, I mean that was probably the best way and probably the only way to do that song and only you could’ve done that Jared, hats off to you partner” Misha tipped his fake hat to Jared and he returned the gesture.

“Alright so (y/n) what did you think did Jared do you proud?” I was speechless at this point.  Everyone laughed included Jared and I finally brought the mic up to my lips and I said.

“I want to say some kind of come-back but I can’t. Not with this song. Like seriously this is my all-time favorite Bon Jovi song and J2 know that, I first heard that song in Scooby Doo 2 and was obsessed with that song and then when we got to actually sing it in an episode that was—Jared well done, amazing job”. I then got off the VIP section and embraced him and he did the same for me.

Everyone awed at us as Jared picked me up and spun me around a few times before removing his black cowboy hat and placing it on top of my head.

“Well Jared Padalecki took us straight to the Wild West as the World’s Most Wanted cowboy, when we come back will (y/n) prove herself worthy of the belt? Followed by the decision of which Winchester wins the LSB belt, we’ll be right back”. “Wanted” came back on over the speakers as the camera came onto both Jared and I and we were both Lip syncing to the song.

After the commercial break, LL stated.

“We’re back with the final performance of the night. It’s been a Supernatural rollercoaster but now it’s time for the youngest Winchester to see what she brought with us to the table to beat her older brother”. The camera came on me and I waved and got my hands into fighting position before it went straight to my other performance.

I was in my dressing room getting ready in the same style of clothes that I have been wearing for almost 12 years of my life.  

I was now in the dance studio practicing the dancing and the choreographer was proclaiming at how well I was doing and when it was over, my entire crew applauded and I high-fived every single one of them.

It now showed me practicing on stage and I was eating a doughnut as I sat beside LL Cool J and I told him.

“Jared’s definitely gonna tap out as soon as he sees my next performance”.

“Oh is he?”

“Yep, in fact I bet he’ll probably leave the room” he then bursted out laughing as I smirked and drank up my water.  As the show would show my dancing my voice came over before filming me in my dressing room, “I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, it ain’t over till I say it’s over. Jared you might as well give up honey, because this next performance will rock your world”.

(Now I just want u guys to play Jessie J’s part, then skip straight to Ariana’s part, play the first half of the chorus after Ariana’s part, then skip again to Nicki’s part and then just kinda let it play out up until the verse before the last part of the song hopefully you guys got this if not then I’ll try to put up the numbers so that ya’ll can follow along)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxTdKnW-03Y

The lights soon went on and my song “Bang Bang” by Jessie J ft. Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj came over the speaker.  But the stage was now decked up almost exactly like the Bunker set we have back at the Vancouver set and my outfit was exactly like Natasha’s.  

For the past few seasons since about 8-9, Natasha went for a red jacket kinda similar to Emma Swan’s on Once Upon a time, jeans, black combat boots, and a simple black short sleeved t-shirt.  She also wore a silver necklace with a single ruby red gem at the center and of course the shirt allowed my anti-possession tattoo to show that stood a bit over my chest.

As I synced to the song, I went a bit crazy and shook my booty sexually trying to mock Jared then I even pulled out a replica prop of Lucille that we teased during the 200th episode.  I walked up towards a desk and I slammed the bat down twice and soon popping out dressed in a female version of Sam was a special guest star to help with the song for Ariana’s part.

Genevieve Padalecki.

Gen came around and the two of us stared Jared down and coyly wagged our finger at him in a ‘come hither’ motion.  And I swear I have never seen Jared’s face look more shocked than seeing his wife help me with my LSB.  

We continued to act like two proud sexy ladies letting the music take us, facing each other and placing a finger to our lips as we synced the shhh then we faced back towards Jared as we both gestured the bad girl line right towards Gen since she did play a demon.

Soon the chorus came and Gen and I danced together as soon coming onto the stage once again was a replica of Baby that Jensen and Misha came in on and as half the chorus was played and Nicki’s part came on, another special guest came on stage all dressed as Female Dean.

Danneel Ackles.

The crowd went insane at seeing both J2 wives up on stage with me dressed head to toe just like their husbands on the show just minus the hair since I wanted this to be a Winchester-Sister parody.  Dani, Gen and I were bouncing around, doing the fist-bump as we jumped backwards just going crazy with Nicki’s rap.

When the rap slowed, like true super models I lead followed by Gen then finally Dani down the catwalk as the three of us strutted the catwalk with our hands at our waists just strutting slowly yet powerful.  When we got down the catwalk we went crazy once again by pop-in-locking our shoulders from side to side before spinning our bodies like a clock at the spelling of Bang.

When Jessie’s solo came on, Dani and Gen went down to the ground as I took center stage and we then raced back and soon my backup dancers who were all dressed up as either demons, angels, werewolves, vampires, or any other monster that was on the show.  

So we did what we Winchesters did best, hunted them down and killed or exorcised them. Once they were take care of, we returned to Baby.

Dani and Gen up on the hood while I literally got right on top of the car and then stood up proudly as the three of us synced the song, I then slide down from the roof right between Gen and Dani on the Hood and we all turned in sync and flipped off Jared and that’s when my song ended.

The room went crazy as I slide off the rest of the Impala and Gen and Dani wrapped their arms around me and we all group hugged.

“Ladies and Gents give a round of applause to DANNEEL ACKLES AND GENEVIEVE PADALECKI!!!!” I cried into the mic.  The girls bowed as I clapped with the audience and LL came up to us and was beyond words.

“The Wayward sisters have made a comeback!” The crowd cheered as I now stood between Gen and Dani and we all turned towards Jared who was now down on the ground completely dead. We were now laughing hysterically as LL said, “Jared? Jared are you alive?”

“This is why you wouldn’t be a part of my Livin La Vida Loca act!?” proclaimed Jared. Gen smiled widely and she said.

“(Y/n) asked me first, and what can I say? I can’t say no to this face” She cupped my chin and I did my puppy dog eyes and she kissed my cheek and wrapped her arms around me.

When she came on the show at season 4 when I was 12, even though my character absolutely hated her guts to no end, I ended up personally falling in love with Gen. I thought she and Jared would make a cute couple someday if they ever got married, and even when I shipped it, Jared even tried to get me to be his wing woman to try and win over Gen. Of course she rejected him till finally she agreed to go out on a date with him, then on that beautiful February day of 2010, I was invited to be one of Gen’s bridesmaids for their wedding.

Around that same time, Jensen also married Dani and the three of us girls became like sisters and soon the rest was history.  I became an aunt to each of their kids and they all called me Auntie (y/n) and pretty soon little Odette will be on her way to calling me that once she gets a little older.

“Jared I am so glad to not be in your spot right now” mentioned Jensen.

“You dodged a bullet baby, I’ll get you when we get home” proclaimed Dani.  The crowd all oohed at Dani’s burn and I fist-bumped her on a job well done.

“Alright ladies please step on up to the VIP or join your husband Mrs. Ackles whichever one you prefer”. Said LL.  I then went up to the VIP with Jared as Gen followed behind me while Dani went up to where Jensen was and we went to a final commercial break.  

I sat beside Jared and he hugged me on a job well done while he brought Gen on his lap and wrapped his arms around her and placed his head on top of her rocking her side to side.

Soon Jared and I were asked to join LL as the belt was now about to be given out and the audience would decide who was the Supernatural LSB Champion.  We were finally back and LL said.

“Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle. The night has been fierce and each of these Winchesters have fought their hardest but now it’s time for the audience to decide, Chrissy are you ready?”

“I am overly ready” she said as she held the one and only LSB belt.  She stood beside Jared first as LL said.

“Is the Lip Sync Battle Supernatural champion Jared Padalecki?” The crowd cheered and he tried to get them to scream louder.  I stood there in place feeling above all nervous of how the outcome would be, I mean don’t get me wrong I had a hell of a time, I’ve always wanted to be on this show and I love Jared to pieces but I really wanted to win this.

“Or is the Lip Sync Battle Supernatural champion (y/n) (l/n)?” For me the audience screamed even louder than Jared’s and I barely did anything.  I raised my arms up in exult as the crowd even began cheering my name.  “And the winner is….. (Y/n) (L/n)!!!” I screamed loudly and covered my mouth overcome with joy as Chrissy strapped the belt around me.

I felt tears coming down my face as I was overwhelmed with emotion right now.

“Talk to us, talk to us (y/n) how’s it feel to be the Champ?” I sniffled and tried to stop myself from crying as the audience awed at me.

“It feels….Oh my god it feel amazing but I thought I wouldn’t win this!” The audience awed again. “But first I would like to thank Jared for being quite the competitor, I had a lot of fun and thank you guys so much this means a lot to me”. I wiped my tears away as I felt Chrissy rub my shoulders and even hug me.

“Jared, even though you lost did you have a good time? How has this experience been for you?”

“It was wonderful I see now why this is (y/n)’s favorite show. I had a hell of a blast and if there was anyone I could lose to, I’m glad it was (y/n) and not Jensen”. Jensen cried out offensively as Jared came up and embraced me and even picked me up and rocked me back and forth.

Soon Jensen, Misha, Gen and Dani came down and joined us as LL took us out and my backup dancers all came out.

“(Y/n) (l/n) proved herself to be the Supernatural Champion, a big thanks to the cast of Supernatural and remember, whatever you do in life….Knock em out the box cell. Knock em out L!” “Bang, Bang” came up on the speakers again and we all were dancing along to the song until we were told that we were off air.

Later that night, Jared, Jensen, Misha, their wives and I were celebrating my victory and Jared soon called out.

“Hears to (y/n) the LSB champion”.

“To (y/n)!” They all proclaimed as their raised their glasses in the air for me and we spent the rest of the night celebrating before the guys and I were to head back to continue filming the rest of Supernatural since our Hiatus break was almost over by this time.

[opepin]

september: week three

11: i was dead tired in the morning. it took me a while to get up. i had english muffin with the ikea marmalade for breakfast and 4 potstickers lol. the marmalade tastes too artificial :( then i made tea and got to work. it was hard to motivate myself but when i did, ux360 wasn’t working for some reason. so then i switched gears and decided to record another video -- well, rerecord because of updates. it was an interesting day today working in the den with kevin. kevin wfh too because he had a doctor’s appointment and he was tired af. i watched some youtube videos and hopped on stand up. it doesn’t feel like we’re acquired yet and it’s weird lol. i did some internet errands and picked up my partial ae package: got a sports bra and hillary sent me a birthday gift of supergas <33333 ahhhh. i’m in love. thank you so much, bae!!! i get her white shoes for her birthday, she gets me white shoes for mine hahaha. <3 the maintenance guy came in to get a piece of plastic?! out of the garbage disposal, fix the loose ass toilet seat, fix the jank door lock, and etc. he is amazing! the previous tenants however, idk if i would have liked them. .__.

kevin went to kam man to get a rice box for us to share for lunch. then i watched some more youtube videos and worked when kevin left to go to his doctor’s appointment. kevin’s rotater cuff is swollen and his doctor just gave him physical therapy exercises -- he didn’t even make him go to a therapist :O what a lucky guy ahha. we worked a bit more and then meal planned and went back to kam man to get groceries, drove to bj’s to use our coupons and get meat and rice, and then got back home and put away all the groceries. kevin made fried rice for dinner while i did a quick 20 minute hip hop cardio workout. then we ate dinner while watching two episodes of agents of shield; we’re now on the season three finale! kevin went to play overwatch and i did a 20 minute pylo workout and then 20 minutes of hip hop cardio again. my quads got super itchy after because the past two days i haven’t been doing intense cardio workouts the past two days because of moving. lol ugh, my muscles. i showered and then got ready for bed. i stretched before sleeping (it was easier after the shower) and then ko’d at around 12 am.

12: i was tired when i woke up but excited to go to the yoga studio to exercise! i woke up 10 minute earlier or so to walk over and prepare myself for working out there. no one was in the fitness center or the yoga studio and i took the 5 lb weights into the yoga studio but realized there were some in there already :O so that means i don’t need to bring weights in all the time! i did lower abs and one 10 minute weighted abs section. working out in the studio wasn’t too bad. i just have to bring a hoodie or shirt so i don’t look too scandy walking to and out ahah. i made tea with benefiber and then showered and ate english muffin with creamy pb and bananas. i think this creamy peanut butter will be better in smoothies... i might do smoothies for breakfast now. i changed and then caught the 8:55 am train. i got to work at 9:30 am and i kinda tripped on my way to the office and my headphones flew off my head and into my hands LOOOL. awk.

i realized i was the only one in the product office today and only cait and raj were in too. i went to work and took breaks to read manga and then recorded a video tutorial and then hopped on the all-hands while eating lunch. then dave came into the office and had calls the rest of the afternoon. i had a part i needed to record so i asked him for his key to a separate office. the key wouldn’t work so i went to the 8th floor and got a copy and that one worked, finallly. then i set up the monitor only to find out it wouldn’t work so i looked on the back and found charles’ initials on the sticker and slacked him. he told me he had trouble connecting to it so he got another monitor. i tried unplugging the power but it still wouldn’t work. so i gave up and went back to my desk and then plugged my laptop into the monitor only to find out it didn’t work anymore! i had to do a SMC reset and then everything worked again so i went back into the other office to try it out and it finally worked!

the sad part is that i tried recording and i got all the background noise of the people around me because of the glass walls -___-” so i rq’d for the rest of the day and just edited the parts that i had and planned out what the training page would look like. oh. riceburg was serving food today so i got a bulgogi rice burger for me and kevin to try. i ate like 1/3 and gave the rest to him when i met up with him at the train station after work. we took the train home and watched an episode of agents of shield and then kevin went to cook while i went to work out in the yoga studio. i did weighted oblique exercises and then stretched. this other lady came in and was breathing intensely and doing some intense? reverse crunches while holding on to the bottom handles of a cycling bike. then i went back and cut potatoes and showered while kevin finished up the curry. we forgot to make rice so i made it before showering and then kevin went to go do his pt exercises and some running. i ate dinner while watching youtube videos and then i bursted out crying and laughing at this one video about a wish haul LOL. kevin thought i was going crazy.

it was too late to game so i just watched videos and kevin ate dinner while watching videos online too. i brushed my teeth, stretched, and went to sleep at around 12 am and kevin gamed until...probably late because he is working from home tomorrow.

13: i got out of bed at 7:20 am and then went straight to the yoga studio to workout. i did a hiit leg workout and then rushed back to make tea with benefiber and prepare breakfast. i showered and then put on nice clothes to meet the ceo and then curled my oily af hair. i ate breakfast and drank my tea and packed my lunch and said goodbye to kevin and caught the 8:50 am train. i left on time and got to the office at 9:15 am. then i learned that we wouldn’t be seeing the ceo until 1 pm... meh. i said hi to everyone. sultan and steve came in and i went straight to work. then at 12 pm, i went lunch hunting with the devs. we didn’t know where we were going and we ended up going to a restaurant in chinatown. next time we will call in to gourmet dumpling house. we spent a good 40 minutes or so looking for lunch and finally getting it and getting back. i thought i had to get back by 1 pm but i guess not?

i ate lunch with steve and cole in their office and then went back to do some work. instead, i talked with sultan about renting, properties, etc. then i went to get tea and ended up talking with cole and steve for a good while. we talked about food and also the movie, “it”, which i am interesting in watching now. they’re fun to be around (: then i left to get my work done for the day and then met the ceo when he walked around to the offices. kevin sent me messages throughout the day telling me to come home early but i couldn’t because my stand up kept getting pushed back further into the work day :( i got on a real quick stand up with the team and then packed up, said goodbye to everyone, and walked to the station with cole and steve. steve ran for the braintree train and i wasn’t going to until cole couldn’t get through because he didn’t put enough money on his charliecard. i made it and got a seat on the train after a few stops :O

kevin was running when i got home so i stopped by the fitness center to say hi. i was hungry so i ate the leftover half apple i had in the fridge with peannut butter and the mango slice kevin saved for me yesterday. then kevin came back and i felt ready to do my weighted butt workout. i went into the fitness center instead because i needed a heavy chair to do bulgarian split lunges. i was following a video and the lady was doing sumo squats with a 65 lb dumbbell... i touched the 30 lb one and i was like NOPEEE. instead, i did 25 lbs and the squats and deadlifts burned. then i switched over to two 7.5 lb weights to do everything else. my legs were shaking and my heart rate spiked! a change in weight really does get the heart pumping. i came back and showered and then watched two episodes of agents of shield with kevin. recently, kevin has been gaming a lot more on his computer and not with me and i feel like he’s been disengaged when we’re watching agents of shield so i felt like our quality time hasn’t been quality. i guess he didn’t feel the same because we had a small argument and he went to game again.

i spent the evening chatting with daniel and watching youtube videos. then i prepared everything for tomorrow, brushed my teeth, and did a good amount of stretching before falling asleep pretty early like at 11 pm. i didn’t feel like reconciling with him because he was busy gaming. :/

14: i woke up before my alarm that was set to ring at 7:15 am. i eventually got up and went to the yoga studio to do my cardio kickboxing workout. my legs and butt were so sore from yesterday’s workout... i could only squat so low LOL. before working out, i made rice for lunch because we forgot to make more. when i got back, i showered, debated whether or not to go into work (ultimately, i did) and then packed lunches, changed, and ate a banana with some peanut butter. then i said bye to kevin and hopped on the train. i was the first one in the product office and looked through emails. dave came at around 10 am and he basically set the itinerary for today. i will be working on more wireframes :) which is good so i can work on them from home tomorrow. during lunch time, i ordered xiao long bao with the devs and they covered the cost with the tech time money because cole and steve weren’t here today :P they also asked me to pick it up while they were in tech time and i got to hold on to charles’ credit card >:D hehe. well, i ate my lunch from home and then watched a youtube video until it was time for me to get it. i walked over to gourmet dumpling house and picked up a heavy af bag and walked back.

i got an email requesting support but then the customer didn’t respond after so i just left my work phone on to see if she was going to call the rest of the day. then i ate my second lunch with the devs. john asked me what kind of chinese food i ate and i told him the traditional kind. he asked charles to order him something an american would like to eat and charles got him sesame chicken LOL. we got him to try a dumpling though. these dumplings are the best soup dumplings i have ever eaten. after, i raved to kevin about it and we decided to order more plus scallion pancakes for dinner. we were thinking of leaving work early and working from home but then i got slammed with work after lunch. it was a meeting after meeting after meeting sort of deal. there was a lot going on. so i stayed and when i had a chance, i ordered and then left the office at around 5:05 pm after talking with dave about work.

i actually got to south station quicker than i had anticipated and waited for kevin to get there. i ate some scallion pancake -- it was soooo good. we commuted home and then kevin and i talked about our argument and we both realized we were in the wrong. we apologized and then finished eating the food. kevin really liked the soup dumplings. we also got our tall step stool and our ottoman in the mail today! yay! i can’t wait for our ikea stuff to come in. then we chilled for a bit and worked out at the same time. he went running and i did weighted arms. i’m the most scared to lift heavy for arms because my arms are like toothpicks LOL. so i got a good workout but i think it could have been better. next time, i’ll lift heavier. we stretched and then went back and showered. then kevin ate real dinner and i just ate the rest of my banana with pb and some chips. i stayed up watching youtube videos and checking instagram (lol i traded in one social media addiction for another) and then clipped my nails and stretched before sleeping at 1 am.

speaking of instagram... i still don’t know how i feel about it. i’m less against it but it gets boring when you follow a small amount of people but then again, i don’t want to be bombarded with pictures of things i kind of like... there’s also the thing about posting and i’ve been wanting to post more but i’m a perfectionist when it comes to posting art, design, creative work and i start editing a photo and then never posting because it’s not what i want to post in the end LOL. maybe i’m being too picky. there’s also just a lot of things i want to do on instagram but i keep telling myself that there are barriers and etc. it’s all a mind game.

15: i slept in today because fridays are work from home days! (: i got up with kevin and then we brushed our teeth, i made myself breakfast, and he headed over to work. then i got to work and did some internet errands. it was a pretty chill work day. everything is winding up now so things will get busier in the next few weeks with training. i was able to watch 2 episodes of love connection and 2 episodes of masterchef. then i went to the yoga studio and did weighted oblique workouts. kevin stopped by to say hi and then went home to make dinner. i cooled down while kevin made the beef broth for korean dumpling rice cake soup mmm. he let the soup cook while he went out for his run. then i relaxed a bit and turned off the stove before i showered. the rest of the dish was basically done. kevin cut up some nori, beef, and scallions and i made poached eggs in the soup. he showered before we ate dinner and watched some agents of shield. then we stopped to play some castle crashers. i got unhappy at it so we switched to battleblock theater and then i got tired at 12 am or so and prepared for bed. kevin went to game and i think i pretty much ko’d. yay for the weekend!

16: i woke up super excited for ikea. we ate breakfast and then went straight to ikea after that. well, we waited a bit and then we went but then kevin was already hungry .___. we left at like 12 pm and ate at like 10 or 11 am. there were so many people at ikea today and it ruined our experience. plus, we knew what we wanted so everyone was pretty much in the way. we picked out chairs for the dining table, got a lamp for the dining area, got more mason jars (lol kevin), and then went upstairs to get some food. i got us a table while kevin waited like 30 minutes in line... it was so long and more people just kept coming. kevin got the pulled pork burger and swedish meatballs and i got swedish meatballs and the chocolate conspiracy cake -- i have been craving chocolate for the longest time. all the food was worth it. mmm. then we went to pick up the chairs. i had to walk back to get drawer organizers because we missed it the first time. we had a quick check out and then packed bb with all our stuff and drove home. we spent 3 hours there... haha. we stopped by bj’s to do some grocery shopping. i got silk cashew milk from there and contact solution. then kevin got back in time to skype with brittany and mike.

while he skyped, i did laundry and caught up on masterchef. then the rest of the evening was kind of a blur... i know i did a full body strength workout in the yoga studio then we ate leftover rice cake soup for dinner while watching agents of shield. oh, i think that is what we did. we ate and after, kevin just started building the chairs while i focused on the show or walked around the apartment. i know why the evening is blurry; we watched until 1 am and i just knocked out while cuddling with kevin. i ended up sleeping on him for like 30 minutes or so and then he left me to make the bed (i washed the sheets too). then i got up pretty awake and brushed and then got out our fall / winter blanket and then kevin helped put a cover over it and basically tucked me in before going off to play games lol. i think i went to sleep at 2 am because i went on my phone for a bit. it was a nice day spent with my bear (:

17: kevin and i were super productive today. i woke up before him and ate breakfast. then he woke up and we watched an episode of agents of shield while he ate then built another chair and then i cleaned the kitchen. then we meal planned and hit the gym together for an afternoon workout. i did multiple cardio videos because i kept getting bored. then we showered and went grocery shopping. we finished buying all of our groceries in under an hour :O we unpacked and then ate congee for lunch along with some chicken wings we got from roche and some scallion pancakes. i was stuffed. then kevin went to game for a bit and i accidentally fell asleep on the sofa for like 1-2 hours LOL. i woke up and then went straight to cleaning the bathroom. kevin finished gaming and then after cleaning, i went to workout again. kevin vacummed and cleaned while i did my ab workout and then i showered while he made dinner. we had a late dinner and were going to game with terence and ryan via online coop with our steam boxes but then they were eating too so we watched shield and then we gamed after. we played some silly games on battleblock theater and we crushed themmm but to be fair, kevin and i have a lot of experience and they just downloaded the game... i still feel good about winning! kevin and i played some overcooked after and then i got ready for bed. kevin stayed up to game for a bit and i went to sleep at like 12 am. zzzz.

[shadowfax044]

Thoughts on the Recurring Dream Theory, Pt. 9

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight

And now we get to the climax of the episode, which is just brimming with things for us to pick apart! XD

"I’ve always been looking over my shoulder, always expecting to see the grim figure of—”/“Death.” The second line is, of course, Mary’s first as she comes into the room. How could she complete the line, though? We’ve already mentioned that it’s strange that Vivian knows/is bringing up the Appointment in Samarra story when we’ve had Sherlock and Mycroft talking about it at various points in the episode, and now Mary is doing the same? If they are working together, this would make more sense, but there’s still the sticking point of Vivian happening to mention the story at all. And if Mary isn’t working with Vivian, then how did she know what word was supposed to come next? Was she waiting in the hallway for a cue? Except that doesn’t make sense, either, because the only time that Vivian seems surprised during this whole meeting is when Mary interrupts her. Again with the dramatics, Sherlock?

“Why does anyone do anything?” We’ve heard this line before, when a hostage was forced to be the voice of Moriarty. This could have different interpretations depending on the theory that you subscribe to: A) it’s really happening, and Vivian was threatened or bribed into murdering/“murdering” Mary, B) this is John’s alibi for killing/“killing” Mary, and Vivian is a patsy, or C) this is happening in Sherlock’s head, and Vivian is a mirror for John here, so Sherlock is working out that John is, once again, in danger from Moriarty/Mary/The Big Bad.

“Selling secrets?” We’ve had this theme before quite often, too: Andrew West’s prospective brother-in-law Joe Harrison (based on the relationship, Joe would be a mirror for Harry), Irene Adler (“Who says I’m selling?”/“Well, why would [the CIA] be interested?”), and Sherlock (taking Mycroft’s computer to Magnussen, although it was meant to be a ruse in his case). I’m... not quite sure about this one. I’ll come back to it.

“The Ambassador in Tbilisi found out. I thought I’d had it! Then she was taken hostage in that coup. I couldn’t believe my luck!” Yeah, I don’t believe your luck, either. What do we say about coincidences? But I’m not sure about where we’re supposed to take this, either. Anyone have a thought?

“What you didn’t know, Mary, was that this one also tipped off the hostage-takers.” I’m so confused here. I’m confused about a lot in this episode, but the main storyline surrounding that extraction is the worst. Why were they holding those hostages? Well, usually terrorists do that to gain some kind of leverage. But the way the extraction seems to have ended, those hostages would have died, too. There leverage was gone. Why would they talk approvingly about Vivian while torturing Ajay? Now, there isn’t much Vivian could have done to stop AGRA going in or to change their orders without outing herself, but would terrorists really care about the logic of her situation? No. They would pass the blame; Vivian would have become a target of the terrorist group if she was responsible. And Sherlock heard from Magnussen’s own mouth, “I know who Mary hurt and killed. I know how to find people who hate her.” It’s Mary, not Vivian, who has a target on her back. (Here is a really good meta by @wssh-watson in support of the John’s Alibi theory that expands on this idea of Vivian actually being Mary.) Note that Mary being the one who should be standing in Vivian’s place works for both the John’s Alibi theory and the Recurring Dream theory; it’s an intentional lie to obscure the truth, or it’s a metaphorical statement of Sherlock’s subconscious.

Continuing with that same line: “this one” is the phrase Sherlock uses to refer to Vivian. I’ve tried to find a parallel moment with a similar phrase, but all I can come up with is, “I should get myself a live-in one,” which Moriarty says in TRF while at Baker Street, and “the other one,” which Mycroft says in HLV in reference to, presumably, Sherrinford. Not sure what this could mean just yet.

“The hostages were killed, AGRA too, or so I thought. My secret was safe. But, apparently not.” Again, this feels more like Mary instead of Vivian. AGRA was killed—the others (supposedly) literally and R figuratively. It wouldn’t come back to haunt her; she was the only one remaining who knew about it. Except then the secret came to light. (I don’t understand this part, though; it makes me consider more closely the idea that everything since Sherlock came back to life on the operating table has been EMP. Why, after going to all that trouble to hide her past, would Mary hang onto the AGRA memory stick? And if she did keep it, why would she just hand it over to John and Sherlock at the first opportunity? Something else is fishy here.)

“A divorcee’s more likely to look for a new partner, a widow to fill the void left by her dead husband. Pets do that, or so I’m told.” This line bothers me because it’s specifically flipped around in the case of John and Sherlock: Sherlock died, or so John thought, and he went out and found a new partner, and John married someone else, and now we get all kinds of background on Sherlock and dogs. Is it flipped simply because this is mirror!verse? This needs more thought, too. (This whole fucking scene does, jesus christ....)

While Sherlock finishes up his deductions of Vivian, Mycroft, Lestrade, and the policemen come in. But regardless of the fact that they come in to see Vivian with a gun drawn and raised, none of the police draw their weapons, and no one demands that Vivian lower hers. Standard procedure in that kind of situation is for a police officer to raise their own weapon, demand the suspect drop their weapon, and to fire before the suspect can if they refuse to follow instructions. Yet no one in that room follows standard police procedure.

There’s time missing. Vivian says, “Maybe I can still surprise you,” and aims the gun. Lestrade says, “Come on, now, be sensible,” which, wtf, is not how a detective would handle that situation, and Vivian responds with a calm, “No, I don’t think so.” Then the frame changes immediately—no transition between them at all, but we’re still looking at Vivian. I tried to get screenshots right before and after. It goes really fast, though, so you might want to watch that part for clarity, if you can. (The transition is at 1:17:11.)

I find it interesting that there’s an abrupt transition here to move Sherlock’s silhouette out of the frame, rather than panning over. And from one instant to the next, Vivian’s mouth, still open from talking, is suddenly closed with a weird smile on her lips. To me, considering all the playing with time in this episode, this indicates a time skip. But that doesn’t make sense as far as the events of the confrontation; Vivian is planning to shoot right then. But the dream/EMP theory would make a realism flaw like this make sense.

Obviously, Mary sacrificing herself for Sherlock makes no sense at all, considering her personality, characterization, and history. There are only two ways that this makes sense: A) it was a ruse, to make them think she’s dead, or B) this act is a symbolic representation/ridiculous prediction inside Sherlock’s mind.

Mycroft’s face isn’t nearly panicky enough when Vivian points her gun at Sherlock. As we know, “I worry about him. Constantly,” and, “Your loss would break my heart.”

That doesn’t look like a broken heart; at best, that’s mildly bothered. But Sherlock still has trouble believing that Mycroft actually cares about him; this is exactly how Mycroft would look in Sherlock’s imagination during a scenario like this.

Mycroft, Lestrade, and the police officers randomly disappear from behind Sherlock and Mary in the middle of the scene. Obviously there’s an element of a dream world/poor memory/lie-told-in-a-hurry in this sequence.

Vivian is vicious when she says “surprise” after Mary is shot, but if Mary wasn’t the one she was aiming for, why would she be happy with this result? Did she really only want to cause one more death before going to prison? And again, why didn’t the officers follow protocol? They’re about to just walk up to an armed woman and restrain her with their hands. This is so messed up, I can’t even....

For full details on why Mary’s shooting and death scene make no sense for a realistic interpretation of the scene, see this amazing meta by @riteofashkente.

Why does Sherlock have to tell Mycroft (and why Mycroft?) to get an ambulance? Wouldn’t one of the officers be doing that already? And why does Mycroft look more worried for Mary than he did for Sherlock? The only explanation I can see is that Sherlock’s poor self-esteem and his desire to keep Mary safe in order to keep John happy make him project these reactions onto Mycroft even though it wouldn’t be how he would behave in this situation at all.

This really good (and short, haha) post by @sherlcckholmes does a good job of pointing out what’s wrong with John’s reactions to Mary’s gunshot wound.

And of course John’s angry smile while Mary is dying, nicely compared to the angry smile in 221B in HLV in this post of @shinka‘s.

Mycroft appears to be eating while Mary is dying. He’s not holding anything in his hands, but he is chewing. And despite Sherlock’s constant teasing about Mycroft’s weight, the only other time we’ve seen him eating is during the Victorian scenes of TAB, which are all in Sherlock’s head. (I can’t do a screenshot, because it’s the chewing motion that gives it away. If you’d like to look, it’s around 1:18:10.) [Important note: watching that a second time just now makes me think that he might be swallowing uncomfortably, but I’m going to keep this in here in case anyone agrees with my initial assessment.]

John bringing up the vow that Sherlock made is interesting, because technically Sherlock didn’t break it; he vowed to always be there, and he was. (Some thoughts on why this could be important: this post by @tjlcisthenewsexy and @going-to-my-mind--palace​.) Now, John could be angry because he interpreted the vow to mean that Sherlock would protect them all, but considering the VAST array of other problems with this scene, I think the specific wording of the vow is significant.

More on the ambulance:  If John alerted Mycroft and Lestrade of the showdown, isn’t it generally police procedure to bring paramedics along? As far as John knows, there’s another operative/assassin waiting at the aquarium, which would mean guns. Either Sherlock/John/Mary, the suspect, or the police officers on the scene could have been hurt. Again, why aren’t there paramedics available more quickly?

And even more on the ambulance:  Sherlock had only 3 seconds of consciousness, but he had enough time to wait 8 minutes after the shot for the paramedics to arrive on scene. Why does Mary, who is bleeding more seriously, have a minute or more to give dramatic goodbyes but dies before the paramedics can arrive? It makes no sense!

Then we get our second fire transition of the episode, which I talked about in part four of this meta series (link at the top).

Next, we get a shot of John walking through a graveyard, but we don’t see him visiting a grave. What is the point of this moment, since it’s obviously not about grieving Mary. For one thing, he doesn’t have an expression of sadness or grief on his face, and for another, she was cremated. Now, yes, sometimes people are cremated and then buried in a cemetery, but since we don’t see John actually visiting a monument to his late wife, we shouldn’t assume that that is his purpose in being there. Though, I have no idea why we get that scene at all; we might have to wait for more episodes before we can figure that out.

In Ella’s office, she says, “Your whole world’s come crashing down around you. Everything’s hopeless. Irretrievable. I know that’s what you must feel.” This, again, is a dramatized version of what reality would look like. A therapist wouldn’t put it that way. They’d ask you how you’re feeling, not describe it in gut-wrenching detail. They would encourage you to talk about how you’re feeling, because that’s the way to work through problems: address them. But they wouldn’t say, “But I can only help you if you completely open yourself up to me.” A therapist would say something more along the lines of, “I can only help you as much as you’ll let me.”

“It’s not really my style. I need to know what to do.... About John.” So basically, Sherlock went there to get Ella to tell him what to do to patch things up with John. But John is her patient; she’d lose her license if she talked about a patient without that patient’s permission. Sherlock would know that, so why would he even go to Ella’s office in the first place? If this scene is occurring in his head, however, and Ella is just his mental representation of someone who understands John’s thoughts and feelings, then it would make sense that he would want to consult that source of information.

The kitchen we see Mycroft enter is just... strange. I’ve seen an argument that it’s a workplace kitchen, but I don’t think, considering the opulence of Mycroft’s other work locations, that that could be accurate, nor do I think his home kitchen would be this bare and dingy. I think this is a case of Sherlock not knowing what a place looks like and filling it in with a best guess (or in this case, something appropriate for his mood and highly generic).

Why does Sherlock ask Mrs. Hudson to be the one to rein him in when he’s being cocky? She doesn’t go out on cases with him, where this is the biggest problem. I think Mrs. Hudson is representing John here. She has already been set up as a mirror for John before; Sherlock’s mind is continuing that association here. Whether this is now reality or still in Sherlock’s head, he is still asking her as a “substitute” for John (like the balloon).

On Mary’s DVD: “My old life.... It was full of consequences.” Her word choice is interesting here, since she doesn’t think there should be any consequences for her past: “People like Magnussen should be killed; that’s why there are people like me.” Just another moment in which Mary is OOC; again, Sherlock could be projecting what he wished he would have been able to do during his own faked death, or he could be desperately hoping that Mary has some redeemable qualities, because he wants John to be happy.

She never says the words “died” or “dead.” With all the parallels with Sherlock’s faked suicide, this feels deliberate to me. The show tends more toward the realistic, though, when showing us actual events, so having another character fake their death would be stretching it. Unless, of course, this is all part of something Sherlock created in his head/dreams/drugged-up mind palace, and Mary hasn’t actually been killed/“killed.”

Why does John send Sherlock both a written message and a verbal one through Molly? If this part is happening outside of Sherlock’s head, if it’s real, then the two of them secretly working together without anyone else’s knowledge would make sense. I’m not sure whether I feel like this is part of The Fake Things in the episode or not. Need more data. :)

And of course: “Go to hell, Sherlock.” Lots of different theories out there about what this might mean, but whatever else it signifies, I think it’s significant that we don’t see Sherlock at or around the moment when this line gets spoken. Did he not hear/see this part? Is it symbolic of him still missing important details about Mary?

That’s everything from the various scenes in this episode, but I have a couple over-arching things that I want to add, so there will be one more part in this series. Almost done, woohoo!

Concluded in Part Ten

[revacus-blog]

Dreams-I'm Tired of Them, Pt. 1

10/6/2017

Last night I fell asleep on the couch for about an hour or two. Woke up around 2 am with no dreams. Finally made myself go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, and go to my bed.

Woke up after about 2 hours. It was 4 am. I just had such terrifying nightmare that I didn't want to go back to sleep. It took about 30 minutes to an hour before I could.

Woke up after about 4 to 5 hours. It was 9:30 am. I had such a wonderful dream that it took me about five minutes before I realized it wasn't real. I was depressed.

The Terror:

I had just watched the trailer for The Woods that night. The start of the dream was me driving on a highway through the trees and thinking about how I wanted to watch it, but I hate horror movies. There's some in between I don't remember, but the next part is I'm with a group of friends at a campgrounds about to head out and look for a smaller group of about 3 that are lost. There's suddenly a man in all white with a large beard. White suit, no jacket, suspenders, and bowtie. He looks like Ash from Evil Dead. I'll find his name, hold on:

Bruce Campbell.

He's kind of an angelic figure. Telling us that we can take his pure white, shiny semi truck to look for them. He tosses me the keys and I don't want to catch them, but my body is compelled to. Everything seems okay. Minutes pass and he is still talking. The semi is now a black SUV and we are piling in to go search for my friends. We are saying goodbye to the nice man when I jump in the back with the hatch of the SUV. Haven't closed the hatch yet. Some friends we let stay behind in case they needed to go get more help and because there wasn't enough space in the car. I look back at them and Bruce Campbell. Suddenly my friends outside the car say, "Wait, where did the ones in the front go?"

I snap my head to the front of the car and my friends who were sitting there are gone. Only the one friend and I who jumped in the back are left. The man smiles sinisterly. I try to jump out of the back but the hatch slams down and my left calf is somehow caught outside while the rest of me is inside. It is still attached to the rest of my leg, but I can't escape. I see a booby trap-esque spear come out and stab through my friend's head. Then I feel one stab through my head.

A few seconds of pain.

I wake up.

I lay there. I'm frightened. I'm safe now.

I pull out my phone and watch a Game Grumps episode. It's episode 7 of the "Mario 3 No Touch Challenge". I'm laying on my stomach with my head turned to the right toward my phone; left ear on my pillow. I hear a female voice say something in my left ear. I wake up from the 30 seconds of dozing freaked out again. I lift my head up and grab a tissue to clean out my left ear. Don't ask me why. I finish the episode awake and know I need to try and go back to sleep. I turn my head the other way this time. Maybe I won't get that voice again. I fall asleep eventually.

[massmurdera]

2016 Favorites/Worst

Favorite Movie: the Nice Guys TV DRAMA: Game of Thrones

TV EPISODE: Game of Thrones’ finale TV COMEDY: Veep LIFE CHOICE: getting a new double-sized bed First bed I’ve had in 30 years now. Game-changer. I guess if THIS is the best thing about my year, I suck. But it’s the simple things, really.

SHIT: messing up my shoulder   Physical Therapy for tendinitis in my shoulder—lost 15 pounds down to 165, gained it back and now back around 180. Took 9 months for my shoulder to feel right again to lift or do really any basic shit.

BEST GAMES I ATTENDED: DIVISIONAL: Pats-Chiefs

Pats-Ravens was dope and felt like a playoff game on Monday Night. 10 rows from the field. But nothing beats a playoff win though and hanging with my brother. WORST GAME: Pats-Seahawks Pats lost—plus the crowd was REALLY fucking dead, Seahawk fans are underrated for how annoying they are. I did not know they had their own chant: “Sea” “Hawk”. It’s dumb. Raven fans remain my most hated with their ‘Seven Nation Army’ chant.

Favorite Live Show: Rihanna @ TD Garden Honorable: Thrice (House of Blues) Missed out on seeing Brian Fallon & Chvrches. Bummer.

BEST STAND-UP SHOW: Bill Burr & Robert Kelly @ Comics Come Home Didn’t go to any shows this year other than that. Went to a shit ton the year before. Favorite Podcast episode: Joe Rogan’s End of the World election night podcast: just because of what Bill Burr FAVORITE PODCAST: Bill Burr’s Monday Morning Podcast BEST NEW PODCAST: 600 Hundred Dollar Podcast Best Sports Podcast: Pardon My Take Favorite Record: Brian Fallon-‘Painkillers’ FAVORITE SONG: Francis & the Lights & Bon Iver: ‘Friends’

HONORABLE… Bon Iver-’33 God’; Brian Fallon-‘Rosemary’; Car Seat Headrest-’Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales’; Chance the Rapper-’No Problem’; Thrice-’Hurricane’ OTHER… Beyonce-‘All Night’;  Desiigner-‘Panda’; Explosions in the Sky-‘Disintegration Anxiety’; Fifth Harmony-‘Work From Home’; Hotelier-‘Goodness Pt 2’; Naked & Famous-‘Higher’; Pinegrove-‘Old Friends’; Sia-‘Reaper’; Sing Street-‘Drive It Like You Stole It’; Struts-‘Could Have Been Me’; Tegan & Sara-‘Boyfriend’; Tribe Called Quest-‘We the People’; Weeknd-‘Starboy’; Zayn-‘Like I Would’ (Remix)

BEST COVER: Dustin Kensrue-‘Round Here’ (Counting Crows) & ‘Down There by the Train’ (Tom Waits) Julien Baker-‘Photobooth’ (Death Cab for Cutie); Brian Fallon-‘Atlantic City’ (Bruce Springsteen) & ‘Won’t Back Down’ (Tom Petty) JUST CAN’T GET INTO: Drake; Solange BEST SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE PERFORMANCES: Chance the Rapper (‘Same Drugs’); Tribe Called Quest WORST SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE PERFORMANCES: Lady Gaga (like watching a 50-year old woman perform: Tony Bennett aged her); Solange; 21 Pilots

Late Pass bands: Beach Slang, Lana Del Rey, Story So Far Favorite Celebrity Death: Antonin Scalia (Supreme Court Justice) Just a cancer for America for my whole life. Unfortunately, GOP’s are cunts—and they withheld long enough to nominate someone somehow worse than him probably. Least Favorite Thing in America-Donald Trump is President, Neo-Nazis somehow being a thing

Favorite Sports Moment: Tom Brady being Tom Brady—enjoying that as a Pats fan is unreal. Don’t want it to end, but it’s going to soon. Least Favorite Sports Moment: Pats losing to Denver in AFC Championship Least Favorite Sports Story: Deflategate/Roger Goodell Trash.

Favorite non-Boston sports story: LeBron bringing a title to Cleveland and near-dunk over Draymond to cement the Finals. Favorite longreads: Anonymous rape victim’s reading to Brock Turner, the Stanford swimmer rapist douche who got off with a ridiculous light sentence, is made public

-‘Voyeur Motel’ (best accompanied w/ Justin Halpern podcast) -Elizabeth Holmes/Theranos takedowns (the whistleblower and the Vanity Fair profile). Frotcast mocking Holmes’ voice/mannerisms & wannabe Steve Jobs-isms were fun to hear in association wih this.   Favorite Snapchat follow: Kelly Oxford

Favorite Other: my brother getting engaged New Year Day—and 2 of my other friends being engaged (childhood friend; former roommate) Fucked Over Moment: Dentist abruptly leaving office for San Diego—and being footed with a $2,000 dollar bill—going back to 2012 I always thought this family dentist who took over overcharged, but this capped it off. My whole family got footed with bills going back years when we thought we were all paid up. I pay TWO different dental insurances to maximize what I get. 2014, I paid $5,000 out of pocket for a root canal and to get a crown in. Less than 6 months later, same tooth was fractured and I got an implant put in: $5,000. So $10K on 1 single fucking tooth, easily more than one third of what I make a year working full time. So I think I am in the clear—no. I got it knocked down in half when protesting it and feeling like it’s fraud. Still, that is well over one month’s pay when I had money stashed away for new car tires, Christmas gifts, etc. To be blindsided just sucks. At no time did my family receive notice that we owed anything in the mail or in person when we go every 6 months or less.

Best Stand-Up Performance in person: Bill Burr at Comics Come Home (bad airplane ride bit) Honorable: Robert Kelly (Comics Come Home)

BEST COMEDY/STAND-UP SPECIALS: Roast Battle (the Wave, everything)—super fun  OTHER -Goddamn Comedy Jam—hear Bill Burr talk about this on his podcast and then to see it done? Awesome. Went overlooked. -Pete Holmes-‘Faces & Sounds’ -Kyle Kinane-‘Loose in Chicago’ -Pete Davidson-‘SMD’: some jokes felt curbed from my own life/shitty college experience. He’s this young and this good already, goddamn.

-Patton Oswalt’s clown story is real good—but it’s not his best special. I tried going to that taping in San Francisco but it was the same time as Chvrches on Treasure Island. If they were on different days, I would have purchased a flight out in a heartbeat. Bummer. -Gary Gulman’s bit on Conan with the state abbreviation bit was great.

SOMEWHAT DISAPPOINTING… Hannibal Burress (saw him live—special didn’t capture how great he is)

RANDOM SPORTS MOMENTS -Allen Iverson’s 30-minute Hall of Fame speech. He gives shout-outs to Dipset and Jada Kiss. Amazing. -Kevin Harlan’s Idiot on the Field call during 49ers-Rams game. Better than that shit game.

Favorite books 1) Stephen King-11/22/63’ Time-travel + love story in 1960s + adventure. The time travel is cool, but you find yourself caring more for the love story. It’s magical. King is super readable—the book flies the fuck by. 2) Paul Neilan-‘Apathy & Other Small Victories’ Like Jonathan Tropper said, ‘funniest book that no one has read’. Just about every line is boiling with humor. 3) Jonathan Tropper-‘This is Where I Leave You’ Movie sucked even with a loaded cast, but good book. I love this and ‘the Book of Joe’ (that SHOULD make an awesome movie—but it will probably be fucked up). Tropper is an American Nick Hornby but better: lot of heart, humor. And his TV series, ‘Banshee’, was pulp fiction action that was the shit (kind of a rated-R ‘Justified’)—except the final season sucked. 4) Gillian Flynn-‘Sharp Objects’ Amy Adams is starring in a David Fincher mystery serial killer series on HBO. It’s going to be fucked up, dark, and excellent. 5) Ben Fountain-‘Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk’ Excellent Iraq war novel. Kind of reminded me of ‘the Outsiders’ and if you kind of view it like that, it becomes cooler: the soldiers don’t TOTALLY belong in the setting they are in and are being used to promote a war. All takes place at a football game with flashbacks. 6) David Mitchell-‘Slade House’ Kind of a Sci-Fi version of ‘the Shining’. Quick book—I plan on getting more into Mitchell. I know his books all link up and I missed something in the last chapter that related to the ‘Bone Clocks’ or whatever. 7) Gillian Flynn-‘Dark Places’ Doesn’t flow as well as ‘Gone Girl’ or ‘Sharp Objects’ but it’s got killer twists and a cool plot. 8) Emily St John Mandel-‘Station 11’ Survival apocalypse + Shakespeare. 9) ‘Second Life of Nick Mason’ Solid crime thriller that could be a solid movie. 10) Lev Grossman-‘Magicians’ Didn’t get into this the way I wished. Harry Potter meets Chronicles of Narnia with some Rated-R shit; I thought that would make it more cool/fun, but nope. Like Quentin, you’re just left feeling incessantly let down. 11) Craig Clevenger-‘Contortionist Handbook’ Kind of Chuck Pahlaniuk-ish when he was on fire-ish.

OKAY… -Stephen King-‘Joyland’ MEH -‘Between World & Me’ (boring; short book—but felt like one big run-on sentence; felt like it needed an editor; I’ve read Coates stuff before that’s good, but this was boring. Like Kendrick Lamar’s music, I acknowledge this is important and doing something good, but I don’t think it was for me?) -Chuck Klosterman-‘But What if We’re Wrong’ (disappointing, forgettable, meh) -Denis Johnson-‘Jesus’ Son’ (lot of praise for this collected short stories of drugs and a lot of my favorite writers cite this as among their favorites—but didn’t do anything for me) -Drew Magary-‘the Hike’—Best online writer for a decade now. But I was glad when I finished the book that I was done with it. MOVIES THAT SUCKED -Ghostbusters Wrongfully hated before it came out for starring women by weird dudes. But, uh, no way to sugarcoat this, but this was a complete piece of shit. I want to fire Hemsworth’s character into the sun and it crescendos at the climax. Funny people are in the cast, but it’s like they wouldn’t let them be funny. Just awful idea and bad tone. Lenny Clarke, in a throwaway scene as a Sox fan, should not have the funniest moment of the movie. Movies that were as bad as everybody said they were -Batman vs Superman worth watching if only for the ‘MARTHA’ scene twist they had; holy shit, it’s stupid. I bought the uncut version just to see if it in full because Joe fucking Derosa said that this was the best Batman movie ever; so I bought it just to see how stupid he is—and I’m the moron now.

-Suicide Squad Honest Trailers breaking down Enchantress’ dancing is great. CRITIC MOVIES I Thought Sucked: the Lobster; the Witch

DISAPPOINTING SEASONS FROM GOOD SHOWS: Banshee; Mr Robot DONALD TRUMP: I don’t think I’ve felt sadder/shocked/crushed. I was in a daze/cloud for 3 days or so—luckily I took the day after the election off work in case something unimaginable happened (Trump being elected). There was always the fear it would happen, but I just didn’t think it would or even imagined how I would feel until it happened. Just complete despair and disbelief. Hillary winning would have been awful too, but Trump? THAT guy? Next 4 years are going to be interesting: there’s going to be a ton of protests/strikes to fight off madmen politicians, corporations, Neo-Nazis, everything-Occupy Wall Street never got off the ground with a unified message. But people like me just might end up protesting for the first time in my life because everything will be at stake. I don’t know what will happen, but it’s naive to not be scared and fear the worst (war; climate change; water shortage causing mass migrations/deaths in my lifetime; corporations fucking over workers; a country splitting; power being in the wrong hands in a surveillance state; violence; regressive agendas; Wall Street getting more power and another bubble collapse) HILLARY OVER BERNIE: because Bernie would have won. Democratic establishment rigged the system and chose the worst possible candidate in an election in which establishment politicians were hated and anger was tapped into (good: Bernie, Bad: Trump). Choose the candidate that people are enthusiastic about. ‘It was her turn’ is bullshit. It was her turn in 2008 but she lost to a guy with a Muslim-sounding name, basically lost to a 70-year old Socialist Jew, and then to Donald f’n Trump. When Democrats start choosing better candidates, they will win every election. Shut the fuck up about politics -oh, right.

[canaryatlaw]

Feels strange writing this now that I finished recapping yesterday a few hours ago, but hopefully I won't be overcome with sleep halfway through this post, I don't think I have as much to say anyway. Today was fine though. I had a noon PT appointment so my alarm went off at 11:15 and I snoozed it till 11:25 because I'm lazy AF and knew I could do my make up afterwards. So I get there (on time of course, because even with my snoozes I am always timely) and end up with a different therapist for booking schedules or whatever, and she's fine, we run through the exercises and such and I think I'm doing them right. It's harder than the wrist exercises because there are a lot more muscles in that general area that can be used so it's more difficult to figure out if you're doing it right but I think I got most of it, and I remember them to do during the week. For now at least it looks like my pattern is gonna end up being on Wednesdays and Fridays, so I'll have to be good with the home exercises the rest of the week. Ended at 1, went home and got ready for oral arguments at school, suit and make up and everything, then walked to the train and got to school plenty early and just looked at my stuff for a while. Since the brief had two issues, with each side appealing one of them, we were working with a partner so one could argue the first issue and the other second, going up against two people on the other side. So adversarial of course, but not all that bad. I think it went fine overall, it's stressful when you go in having a game plan (and this kind of goes for trial strategy in general) and then when you get there it pretty much just goes out the window and you gotta roll with whatever happens, and I'm trying to answer questions about the applicability of the fourth amendments exclusionary rule impeachment exception to criminal cases versus civil cases (that was a real question, I didn't just through a bunch of confusing words together to exaggerate). But overall I thought it went well. They gave us feedback afterwards and they said my confidence started out really well and then kind of dipped in the middle but picked back up in the end, none of which I was aware of of course as it's going on because I'm just going. One of the judges was like "you got really passionate about that child abuse argument and you can really tell you cared about it, is that like something you're interested in?" So I laughed and was like yeah, I work in juvenile court, I could make public policy child abuse arguments for DAYSSSSSSS lol. So that made me smile. Afterwards I was of course happy to be done, so I went to Starbucks and got another unicorn frap because I'm a child and it tastes like sour candy and shit and I like it, okay? I sat there for like 10 minutes and just decompressed a bit before getting on the train and heading home. Got home and made some food, I tried to get kind of fancy and made this like roasted nectarine oatmeal that I just pulled out of my ass but it tasted really good! Lol and yeah, I also started doing laundry because I officially ran out of underwear that I can for sure know is clean, so that's kind of the limit. After not too long my roommate showed up and she was staying in for the night, so I suggested we start binging 13 reasons why since we'd both been wanting to watch it, so we did and got through the first 5 episodes. First background: I read the book shortly after it came out, circa 2008 or so, when of course I was highly suicidal myself, and I don't think it was super helpful to me in that area, but of course that was 9 years ago now and I'm in a totally different place now. I remembered the overall concept and such of course, but I didn't remember like, the individual stories or anything so that was cool to see again. First impressions: damn. Like I knew of course it was gonna be really, really heavy, but this is like, soul-crushingly agonizing to watch. Just, any time her parents are on screen I can just feel my soul aching for them as they so desperately try to figure out what happened that took their little girl away, and shit I'm tearing up just writing this because this exact subject just gets to me so much. I have images in my head of my parents finding my body after I would've killed myself and I just, they're screaming and sobbing and I can't think about it for more than a fleeting second without bursting into tears (I am full on crying now). Because it's just way too close to home. This could've been my story so easily. Seeing them, even as fictional parents, go through that just makes something in me want to scream and cry in rage that any parent would ever have to bury their child who took their own life, and how that was so close to being my story. I couldn't see it then, I really couldn't. But I can now. I can see how much it would've utterly destroyed my parents. I can see how, as much as my brothers abuse have caused me great pain, them carrying that with them, knowing they had been part of the cause of that (and I was going to make sure they knew) would just be something that would never leave them, a guilt they could never absolve themselves of. And my sister. Oh, my sister. My beautiful baby girl who kept me on this earth because I couldn't never possibly leave her here alone. I had to be here to protect her. If my life served no other purpose, I could at least keep her safe. Make sure she didn't suffer the way I did. To be a barrier between her and our brothers and any abuse they might inflict on her. I wouldn't let them do that to her. My precious, sweet little angel that God knew I needed, when I was just a little 6 year old praying for a sister, God knew I would need her to get me through this, that my love for her, in the end, was the one thing that kept me tied to this earth. I could never leave her. I could never hurt her like that. I could never cause her to suffer such a tragedy at such a young age. He knew. He knew all those years ago I would need her. So He gave her to me and I was the happiest 9 year old on earth knowing that God heard my prayer and actually answered me, with living, breathing proof- this was such a big request, I never expected it to be answered. But it was. Because He knew. So He gave me the most precious and important person in my life that I could never imagine my life without. I could never imagine getting through life without her. And I just......I'm so off topic, but apparently I needed a good cry on this specific subject. But the show, the way it captures her parents grief is just such a soul-aching pain for me. As for the rest of the show, the characters have been well-crafted so far, and they've done a good job showing the effects of bullying on people and how these things affect people- that what we say and do doesn't happen in a vacuum, but in a vast network that can get to anyone. Despite its other potential failings, which I'm sure I'll get to addressing as I go, I think it's doing a good job at really showing that actions such as bullying really do have consequences, what you think is just a joke is really at someone else's expense and that's going to affect them for longer than you know. From a cinamographic (that's not a real word, but go with it) perspective, establishing the cut on Clay's forehead as an easy way to distinguish between the flashbacks and the present was rather brilliant. I have to rant about the lawsuit subplot with the parents for a minute though, since it wasn't in the book. All was fine with it up until the end of the last episode I watched where they said the case was taking to trial and I was like BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. I'm sorry, I have a realism threshold, and that crosses wayyyyyyyy way over it. In absolutely no universe would a school EVER go to trial on a case like that. The merits of it don't matter for shit, what matters is that it would be a PR nightmare for the school. The school is fighting against the parents of a dead girl who was bullied by trying to say they weren't responsible? Nobody's gonna give a fuck about the truth of whether she was or not, they're just going to think the school as being absolutely terrible and like I said, PR nightmare. So that really got under my skin, lol, I know its a stupid little thing but I just couldn't get past it because it would just never happen. And yeah, we ended there and I headed to bed and here we are. I'm glad I can sleep in as long as I want (yay Saturdays) being that it's almost 2 am now. Tomorrow I'll probably try to do more laundry, and I gotta make a target run cuz this week I actually am running out of sodastream gas canisters (which of course we all know I need to live) among a few other random items. Then I can hopefully make a big batch dinner for use for packed lunches/dinners during the week, and also make some more progress on the presentation. I don't have to have the 40 page paper done till May 3rd, but I have the presentation that's supposed to be based on the facts in the paper on Monday, so I have to work on fleshing that out and come up with a game plan as to how I'm going to address it. I think I have a pretty solid idea and it shouldn't take too long to work out. So yeah, should be a good tomorrow. Eyes are tired now, and like I said it's almost 2 am, so I'll call it a night now. Goodnight angels. Stay lovely.

[canaryatlaw]

alright. so today. it went well overall I guess, I’ll get through it. My alarm went off at 8, I was out the door by 8:30, made it to school by 9:30 (it literally takes exactly an hour to get from my apartment to school, which is convenient for time planning purposes) and dropped my stuff in the PAD office and hung out for a few minutes before heading up to my exit interview at 9:45. Basically the deal is they have to collect info about job plans post-graduation for the ABA before graduation, and then again in 10 months from now. So I said I had nothing permanent lined up at the moment, but had some opportunities that could lead somewhere. I mentioned the tech company and he was like “oh yeah, I’m actually familiar with them” and he said he’s found a lot of public interest students actually go on to work with regulations and they end up really liking it, so I found that encouraging because my greatest worry about that job would be that I’d hate it. And they wanted to make sure we know we could hit them up for help with jobs at any point in the future, so that was nice. I got a little yellow paper slip stating I completed my exit interview so I can pick up my cap and gown next week (nice little incentivizing there on their part) and then I was done. I went back to the PAD office to grab my laptop and headed over to the library to get some printing done. We always got like, $75 dollars or something each semester in printing credit, when it’s like 10 cents a page, and I knew I had a lot of money left so I thought printing this 94 page outline would spend most of it- nope, I still had $190 left in my printing account. Shame I can’t repurpose that money, but oh well. I printed the outline, used the 3 hole punch (they have the super heavy duty one that can do like 50 pages at a time) then headed back to the PAD office, where I spent a while integrating the outline with the case briefs I had already printed out, because the outline was almost entirely case briefs, so I would find where a case was in my case briefs, then put where it was in the outline as the next page. I think it worked pretty well, it made it a little harder to flip through, but it was definitely easier then having to flip back and forth between the two of them. and yeah, I more or less killed time after that until around noon, where I went to the little market place that moved in next door to the school where I’d been getting salads from, but they had Italian food on their hot bar today, and well, needless to say I did not get a salad. Opted instead for cheesy garlic bread (YUM) and stuffed shells. I was a little disappointed in the stuffed shells because the filling was a bit too salty for my taste, but I still definitely enjoyed them. At 1 I headed upstairs to where my final was gonna be held starting at 1:30. People were milling in and out, trying to set things up and such. We can do the tests on our computers, but we have to use this exam software that shuts down every other application on your computer so you can’t leave the actual test. But yeah, we get ready, I’m feeling pretty good, and when the time comes we start. It was all essays, which is like, what I’m best at, so that was good, except I apparently really fucked myself over because I forgot to print out the cases that were posted on the class website and not in the book, and guess what? Literally all of the cases brought up in the test questions were ones from the website. every. single. one. And I was basically like, well fuck, but there’s not much I can do about it now, and I at least still have the case briefs on them, so we’ll work from those. I did almost have a heart attack for like 30 seconds because there were two cases we read that started with the same plaintiff name (and it was like, a long title) and I accidentally was looking at the wrong one first, but then I realized it was the other one and it wasn’t in the book and for a minute I thought I had no case briefs or anything on the case and I was legit going to drop dead on the spot, I was so stressed. I briefly considered just writing a note at the top of my answer like “so I didn’t have any information on this case, so I’m answering the question based on the other case with this plaintiff” because I feel like my prof would be the type to basically be like okay cool and grade it from there, probably with some point penalty, but he wouldn't just write it off completely. But thankfully I was able to find the case briefs on the case and managed to write a semi-decent essay, it was hard because I didn’t have many details to go off of, so that was kind of rough. The second question was somewhat more in my wheelhouse, it didn’t involve a specific case but instead a hypo and what claims could be brought from that, so that was easy for me to analyze and draw a case comparison to. One part was like “list any other alternate claims she might be able to bring” which is of course a big give away that there are other claims, and I picked up that in a “throwaway” line in the prompt it dropped that they received federal funding, which made them liable under Title VI as well as Title VII, so I felt good about spotting that. This was also the question about retaliation, which is what I know really well from real life experiences, so that was definitely my strongest answer. Questions 3 and 4 were shorter, worth half as much as 1 and 2. I didn’t have the cases they were based on, so my answer to question 3 was kinda short but I was able to extrapolate a fairly good answer for question 4. I finished up at 4, so with half an hour left. I started editing, and I knew I wasn’t happy with the case illustration I used for the first question, so I went back and found a more analogous case that I was much more satisfied with. So I checked it over again and then I was done. I was kinda irritated because I knew I could’ve done better had I been fully prepared, but at the same time I knew they were still solid answers, I may just get an A- instead of an A (which will drive me nuts, but it’s not like it really matters at this point). So I turned it in, left the classroom and legit dumped my 150 pages of outline and case briefs in the recycling bin they have in the hallway lol because I had no use for it anymore and didn't want to carry the extra weight home. So I started the trip home. it was raining when I left the loop, but by the time I got off the train it was more of a light drizzle so it was already for my walk the rest of the way home. I stopped at the ice cream shop and got a scoop of cotton candy ice cream (I love that shit) in a sugar cone, then kept heading home. Upon getting home I just dropped everything and laid on my bed for like, 10 minutes, which felt very good lol. I didn't want to do any more studying for the day because I was pretty academically exhausted, so I sat in the living room/den (whatever we’re calling it) and watched more of A Series of Unfortunate Events before Riverdale was on, simply because I really didn’t have anything else to watch, not that I’ve particularly been enjoying it. At 7 I turned on Riverdale, and I really don’t know why I keep watching this dumb show, it’s so overdramatic and ridiculous, and yet it is somehow enjoyable. After that episode I had an hour to kill before Designated Survivor was on, and I had asked for comedy suggestions on twitter, so I turned on The Good Place and watched two episodes of that, which was highly enjoyable. Designated Survivor.....wasn’t my favorite episode. I’m VERY glad my girl Andrea is not the traitor here who’s gonna be brought up on like, international treason charges for obvious reasons because I really thought that that was where they were going with it, but then I was still sad when they basically wrote her off anyway. As far as the main plot, I am so over Michael J Fox and his literally one character he can play, like legit his role on this show is the same. exact. thing. as his role on The Good Wife, and he was annoying AF there and is still annoying AF here. Idk why they feel the need to keep bringing him back. It was nice at least to see him get humbled a bit in the end there though. Then there’s Hannah, my girl!!! What was going on with the ladies tonight, are we losing Andrea and Hannah in the same episode??? Like what the hell is going on with that??? I very much hope that both of them return at some point. After the show I watched the news for a little bit, then started getting ready for bed and now here I am. Tomorrow I have PT at 12:30, then probably studying for either Remedies or attempting to teach myself the entire Secured Transactions curriculum over the next week, which sounds ridiculous for sure but I am fairly confident I can actually do it, did it first year with property and last semester with bus orgs, so 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not really concerned. So yeah, we’ll see how that goes. It’s almost 1 am so I guess I should bit you all goodnight for the time being. Goodnight babes. Stay wonderful.