#i just find it funny that the name is misread lol i mean it is techncially jsut a brand of jelly bean but i just like jelly belly for tongue

[retphienix]

OH.

So this took 2 tries because I completely misunderstood the power of Hurricane.

I bet kid me knew, but current me forgot and then misread the card entirely lol

So what *I* read was "This does 30 and then returns the card to their hand unless it kills" and then my brain tacked on "Unless it's the final card" because I was mentally adding on what the achievement mentions about no bench?

Whoops!

This achievement is hilarious!

I was rather confused by it- my first attempt I 100% had a winning hand and could have gotten the achievement by turn 3, but I thought I had to get him down to 30~ HP and then use it for the kill- my brain wasn't worried about triggering the effect- *I* thought the effect was nullified because he had no bench- *I* was worried about working his health low before evolving because I didn't want to tip him off that he should be playing more benched pokemon.

IE: I thought if he had low hp he'd put more on his bench, but if I got him to exactly 30 and then evolved and hit for game he would be too slow to react.

NOPE lol

So his deck's gimmick is a "not as good, but a million times less tedious to play" Big Thunder deck.

I find it interesting that he's literally using a Big Thunder deck- it shows that either during development of TCG1 or in between TCG1 and TCG2 someone on the team realized that that specific gameboy only card is BUSTED-

I digress.

He, most of the time, plays just the one Zapdos and tries to build up to a Big Thunder play.

So this achievement is INTENDED to just be a big fuck you to that, as implied by the name, because you can race him to a pigeot instead and hit him once for game.

I'm actually glad I misunderstood the challenge, because it means I was a bit more tense about my play and then "accidentally" won by using hurricane lol

Anyways, funny achievement.

[yellowhollyhock]

Raphael: Don't go into the garage right now, Donatello is in one of his moods

Splinter: I will check that guns and pointy objects are locked away

Leo: I've got chemicals. April, you better get back to the surface for your safety.

April: From Donnie??

Mikey: Ah, you guys are overreacting, Don's a total teddy bear. I'm gonna go ask him if he'll build me an antigravity ray

Raphael: Well of course, he never screams at you. Me and Leo don't get the same mercy

Leo: Yeah, even when you throw stuff at me for literally no reason, I can't help just finding it cute

Mikey: What can I say, I'm adorable. Hey Donatello, will you build me an antigravity ray

Donnie: I don't know how to do that 😃 Pork rind?

Mikey: See? Teddy bear

Raphael: Metal Mouth

Donnie: Chrome Dome

Raphael: Tin Grin

Donnie: Metallica Reject

Mikey: What are you guys talking about?

Raphael: Cheese Grater

Donnie: Letter Opener

Mikey: Is that Shredder? Do you mean Shredder? Are you coming up with silly nicknames for the scariest guy we ever met? Who ruined our lives multiple times?

Donnie: Aw, Mikey, you're scared of everything. Sit down and have some popcorn.

Leo: It really isn't funny. Shredder nearly killed Master Splinter. His ghost would visit me to teach me how to train you guys.

Raphael: Oh boy, you and ghosts. Have you ever considered taking Lotus Blossom to a nice carnival, or some other daytime activity not involving museums or cursed artifacts?

Leo: I'm telling you, Master Splinter's future ghost reached out to me. That's how close Shredder was to--

Splinter, from the other room: Quit telling everyone I'm dead!

Leo: It was exactly like that. A disembodied voice leaving instructions for--

Splinter: Blue!

Leo: Heheh, I'll just go see what he needs. But remember! Shredder is veeeery dangerous 👻

Mikey, whimpering: He's gonna come back again in another form, I know it

Raphael and Donnie:

Raphael: Shredhead

Donnie: Bucket Brain

Mikey: Shreddy Bear

Raphael: There you go, Michelangelo, that's getting into the spirit of things.

Leo: Spirit--?

Mikey Donnie and Raphael: Get out

Mikey: Who wants to go visit Leatherhead with me?

Raphael: Hard pass

Leo: Raph, be polite

Raphael: What? I'm not being unfair. The guy is a monster.

Mikey: Hey, he's really sensitive about that!

Raphael: He has tried to capture or kill us multiple times.

Leo: That was before he became friends with Mikey.

Raphael: Hm, I remember it a bit differently. Though to be fair I may have missed details, with his accent...

Mikey: I've told you guys a hundred times, he never tried to hurt us. You saw me talking to a big gator mutant and immediately overreacted.

Leo: No, we know, Mikey, he's a good friend, but you have to admit, it's not like he wasn't ever dangerous.

Mikey: Donnie, you'll go with me, right? You love Leatherhead.

Donnie: I do?

Mikey: Yeah, you two get along great

Donnie: A gator mutant... I don't remember

Casey: Come on Don, he's the one who created the cure when you mutated into that big monster and tried to eat Mikey's leg.

Raphael: I definitely don't remember him being involved in that

Donnie: lol I definitely missed something. But sure I'll go see Gator Man with you

Mikey: His name is Leatherhead 😑 I can't believe he likes you more than me you ungrateful little--

Leo: Listen, Casey's coming over because Raph really needs it today, and I know you've had your differences with him but just for tonight, can you please try to be nice?

Donnie: ??? I'm always nice to Casey!

Leo: No you're not! You're constantly looking for ways to insult him!

Donnie: Ohhhh haha I see the confusion. That's just a game we play!

Leo, doubtful: A game.

Raphael: What ever gave you the idea that hanging out with Casey would cheer me up?

Leo: Because he's your best friend?

Raphael: ????

Leo: Nevermind, cancel everything, apparently I have misread absolutely everything involving Casey Jones probably since the day April introduced him to us

Mikey: Oh, are Casey and April coming over? I'm so excited, the baby is due soon!

Raphael and Leo: The what?!

Donnie: Mikey, you gotta help me come up with good father-related insults for H and J

Leo: Donnie

tmnt memory mashup part 3

premise: instead of being different dimensions, the various iterations of tmnt reflect the different ways certain characters remember things. part 1 was rise donnie 03 leo 87 mikey mirage raph. part 2 was 07 leo 12 mikey rise raph 03 donnie.

part 3: 12 Leo, 90s movies Donnie, 87 Raph, 03 Mikey, rise Splinter, 07 April

Casey, as always, has embraced the chaos of everyone telling him such different stories about what's what and literally making stuff up. Absolutely everything is on the table for him to reference

Leo: Raph's got... a bit of a temper

Casey: No way, he's a total teddy bear

Donnie: No it's true, sometimes it's best to just give him his space.

Leo: Mikey really pushes his buttons.

Donnie: Huh? You push his buttons.

Leo: What?!

Meanwhile in the other room coloring

Raphael: Sounds like Donnie and Leo are arguing again.

Mikey: That's so weird, they never argue.

Raphael: Is that wishful thinking or pizza-colored glasses?

Mikey: Ooh, what kind of pizza?

Raphael: Pepperoni and maple syrup

Mikey: With anchovies?

Raphael: If you must

Mikey: What were we talking about?

Raphael: No idea

Leo: I'm gonna be really vulnerable with you guys--I'm totally embarrassed about the whole thing with Karai. I ended up being kind of right but also kind of very wrong and I should've listened to you guys sooner instead of going off on my own.

Mikey: It's okay, I mean it worked out. I'm just glad you didn't join Shredder, lol

Raphael: Don't tell me, is this another one of those body-swapping things?

Donnie: Who's Karai? Wait, body-swapping?

April: What was that about joining Shredder?

Karai: I hate all of you. Pass the salt.

April: You guys were so lost without Leo. As someone who cares about you, it was hard to watch. I tried to talk him into coming back.

Leo: I mean, I was in a coma.

Mikey: It was a little rough, but I think we were fine. We knew he needed the time. Although, Karai did almost kill us.

Raphael: I, for one, never want Donatello to be in charge again.

Donnie: I was in charge?

Casey: Oh yeah, you were a total stickler about Splinter's diet.

Donnie: Whoa... hey that's kind of funny, I remember Raph being in a coma, but I never even noticed Leo was gone! haha

Leo: ... Hey Karai are you up for killing them this week?

Karai: I've been waiting for you to ask

Raphael: I wish the writers would come up with better jokes

Leo: *blink blink*

Raphael: I mean, the things you have to say to an audience--must be stressful being the leader.

Leo: *head tilt*

Raphael: Your. Lines. Are. Corny. And speaking of corny, do you maybe need your ears checked?

Leo: *shrug, head scratch*

Donnie from the other room: Bossa nova!

Mikey: I think you mean cowabunga!

Raphael: Well I guess it could be worse.

Leo: Oh, you mean the Space Heroes writers?

Raphael: *blink blink*

Mikey: You guys were always so reckless.

Raphael: It's true.

Mikey: The amount of times I had to explain to you that monsters are dangerous--

Raphael: A ridiculous number of times.

Mikey: And we should go away from and not toward them--

Raphael: Running away is always a viable solution.

Donnie: Well I'm sorry that I don't want to stay in the sixteenth century! It wasn't all about coming back to fight bad guys, you know. There were bad guys there too, you guys just have terrible memories.

Mikey: That is true because I do not remember that. I do remember the dinosaurs, though, Donnie

Leo: Hey, everyone chill out. If we hadn't time traveled, we wouldn't exist.

Raphael and Mikey:

Casey: It's true, you had to circle back, find the key and stop the Krang so they wouldn't terraform the earth. Donnie almost died when he had to double cross Shredder and got his shell ripped off.

Everyone:

Karai: You guys never invite me to the cool stuff. I'm disowning all of you.

[bittybattybunny]

Felt like writing how Ru confessed to Eclipse he was both an Imposter and that he liked her

Also just a quick thing I noticed; y’all know its “jelly belly” not “jelly bean” like i still get what you mean but the tag is jelly belly murder au lol

This one’s a lil longer but enjoy

He paced down the hall with a small sigh. He looked at his gloved hands and then at his reflection in the window. He squinted and fixed his eyes with another sigh. He flexed his fingers and bit on his tongue.

Love.

He had read up on it with the computers at the station but it was a foreign concept to him. To him, companionship was only for mating and making a new hive but… he put a hand to his chest with another sigh. All of his hearts pounded as he thought of the biomechanical engineer.

How when she got excited she spoke with her hands, when she smiled so wide her cheeks indented ever so slightly. He felt his cheeks shift as he gave a wide grin, a warm sensation over his face. He shook his head and groaned. 

He headed to the barracks and locked the door. Throwing a towel over the camera he pulled his helmet off with a sigh. He looked at the mirror and touched his mouth with a scowl.

He pulled his cheek inspecting the double row of sharp yellow fangs and the faint yellow glow his saliva emitted. He frowned and shut his mouth. He rubbed his cheek and gave a smile. It was nothing like the smile she and Harriet gave.

He sat on his bed and looked at his hands. Removing his gloves he let the fingers sharpen and merged the middle two. How could he tell Eclipse? Harriet knew… She found him out early but… her mother…

He fell backwards with a sigh. He chittered in his back throat in his anxiety.

There was a knock on the door. He jolted upright, fixing his hands and pulled his gloves back on and reaching for his helmet. 

He opened the door, “H-hey?” he was out of breath from his panic.

Eclipse looked up with a smile. That soft smile she seemed to give only him. He felt his hearts racing.

“I was heading to the cafeteria…” she had her hands behind her back, “Hat’s with my dad and brother… I was wondering if you’ve eaten yet?” she played with a curl in front of her ear.

He chewed his lip and held his hands out, “C-Can you come in here a second?” he asked softly.

“Ah?” she stared confused but took his hands as he pulled her into his room and locked the door.

“Ru, what’s wrong?” she reached and touched his helmet worried, “Are you okay?”

“I’m… I think… I love you???” 

She turned bright red in shock, “Y-You think?? I mean I… I… l--”

“Hold that thought… you.. May change your mind…” he sighed and rearranged his face before reaching to pull his helmet off. His glowing eyes and sad smile pulling his violet skin. He looked at her waiting for her to scream.

Her eyes grew wide and she backed against the door, “Y-You’re a-a-an--”

“I’m… what you call an imposter…. Yeah…” he chewed his lip, yellow blood spilling as he tried to keep his eyes from leaking fluids. “I-I’m sorry I just! I kn--” he flinched when her soft hands reached to brush his tears. He looked down in shock, second eyes opening.

“E-eclipse…” he whispered as she smiled. He could feel her shaking and moved to hold her hand and kissed it lightly, “I-I wanted to tell you… because I… I love you.. I can’t stop thinking about you… Harriet… Earth… I’m… I’m sorry…”

She took a deep breath and shifted hugging him. He tensed up and stared down confused at the motion before he copied her and held on tightly, crying fully, “I’m so sorry.. I’m sorry… I’m a monster to you… I’m a killer… I just…”

“Shh… shhh….” she cooed, “yeah… but…” she pulled away and poked between his eyes, “You’re the one who’s kept things quiet haven’t you?” she smiled.

“I… Vanessa wants me to handle the killing but… after the first I couldn’t… and then… Harriet saw me about to kill Conrad and I just…” he chewed his lip. He tensed as she grabbed his face and stood up and kissed it gently making him blush.

“Are you still planning to kill us?” she asked softly, her eyes a bit cold as she shook.

He shook his head, mouth open in a gasp, “No! I love you and Harriet! I even like Sena and Conrad and Captain!” he frowned, “I… i want to go back with you guys… Earth seems fun and… I…” he brushed her cheek, “T-That human form of contact… with you I want to…do it more...”

“A… a kiss?” she asked curiously. She frowned and looked at his mouth, “are you going to bite me?”

“No!” he scowled, “I-I can’t fix my mouth. I’ve tried but… I’ll be careful…” he bent down to her level, “Curse this host being so tall…”

She giggled making him flush more. She brushed his hair back and leaned in, kissing his mouth gently. He held her close to him as she kissed and broke apart panting with a soft smile. He rested his forehead against hers, “Please.. Please don’t let me go… I promise… You’ll make it back to Earth…”

“Mmhm….” she smiled as she looked at him, “You know.. This explains a lot… but… I guess we’ll figure it out.” she laughed.

“Mmhm..” he agreed and nuzzled her neck with a small trilling purr. He pulled away embarrassed when he caught himself, “S-Sorry I know t-that’s not a human thing!”

She stared confused and smiled, “It’s Ru. So I don’t mind. It’s cute!”

He felt his face shift and his smile ripped up his cheeks.

“Oh!” She gasped watching, “I-is that comfortable?”

“Ah!” he frowned trying to fix it, “It’s… my default?”

“I see…” she covered her mouth with her hand in thought, “Can I see? What’s comfortable?”

He chewed his lip, “Y-You aren’t going to be afraid are you?”

“I kissed an alien imposter. I think I’ll be fine…” she smirked.

“You’re shaking…” he sighed as he held her hands.

“I am. I can’t help it. But. I’m sure. You can help it.” she gave that dimple smile making him smile with a sigh.

“Alright…” he removed his gloves as he let his middle fingers merge, fingers sharpening slightly as his nose seemed to sink and vanish while the the same shade of purple from his hair spread over his features more so encompassing them until it was hard to see where which ended. His eyes covered in a solid bright yellow glow mouth shifting to reveal fangs peeking and glowing. He rubbed his neck sheepishly.

She stared in awe as he shifted and reached up to pull the corners of his mouth, reaching around his head and squinted, “no ears?”

“I don’t really need them?? Not human ones anyway.” he spoke with a reverberating tone.

“Oh! Your voice…”

“I have three throats.” he explained, a mouth appearing in his skin between his eyes and other mouth, “I have a third mouth on my chest.”

“Oh..” she stared at his chest with a red tone on her cheeks, “Will you show me that someday?”

He felt his face grow hot, “S-Sure.” he grinned embarrassed.

She smiled and reached up, “Lean down.”

He listened as she kissed him again. He held onto her and picked her up with ease making her laugh.

 She folded her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, “Can I finish my thought now?”

“What?”

“I love you too.”

[mariproducer]

Venting about s5 bible stuff under the cut it’s gonna be disjointed I just need to let out my thoughts

absolutely no mention of chat blanc in the bible besides it being placed in the special akumatization section... ofc the bible is simply an outline so there’s a chance it could be brought up (e.g. in evolution we had no indication that young! alix was going to be forced to remain in the burrow until monarch was defeated) but i have no clue which episode it could be brought up in. and the fact that the bible has no indication of an identity reveal and the discussion of cb ... kinda needs one to begin with since it involves identities... who fuckin knows

so far there has been a contradiction with the bible where nathalie shit talks gabriel for his stupidity even though the bible says she has her own ulterior motives buttt then again this is mlb king of inconsistency soooo whos to say this mindset will stick (or the bible is to a T with the plot)

also ^ no mention of sentimonster shenanigans which is uh. hm. ok then? on one hand, it makes me feel like all this sentimonster teasing was a fuckin joke or smth, on the other hand this means the sentimonster stuff was likely squeezed in at the last minute if theres no proper mention of adrien OR felix possibly being sentimonsters (or maybe i misread? idk i looked at every instance of felix on the doc and found nothing)

speaking of felix... mostly nothing on him... which is frankly disappointing, as someone who’s always excited to see him on screen. i mean thanks for the confirmation that he’ll transform with the peacock miraculous and make one sentimonster? oh and he has a different last name ... erm ok then... he’s hardly present ANYWHERE on the script and its making me ☹️ bc he was the most interesting character we’ve gotten (Cuz he had motivations and acted out on his own volition) and boom nothing of note...

i don’t wanna hope bc i hate having expectations especially when they’re likely to be let down but grrrr i just want more felix damnit...

worried for the possible chance of ppl ripping into kagami again. the plotlines lined up for her in s5 just reek of “we need to make a character ooc to fit a specific plotline we want” and its just UGHHH kagami doesn’t deserve this! at all! i need to get her out of this show NOW

im sick and tired of andre the ice cream man and im even more sick and tired that most mar!chat episodes have to do with this guy! (and no weredad is NOT any better) like fuck this guy i hope his business goes under 

tbh the lila shit and the “adrien never finds out his dad is hawkmoth” shit deserves its own goddamn post because what. the. actual. FUCK.

im still in tears (in a funny yet sad way) that they literally could not feasibly write off luk@nette in canon bc they had to ship luka off to another country for the rest of the season like LMFAO??? but also I HATE YOU?? i knew that they had him learn their identities to screw him over one way or another 

the reverse LS stuff is stupid bc why the hell does adrien suddenly develop feelings for marinette like seriously WHERE THE HELL DID IT COME FROM look i get why lb -> cn even if its so hamfisted i could at least see the logic here but ADRIEN -> MARINETTE??? adr!enette HARDLY got any screentime last season and when they did it was the bare minimum and hardly compared to their scenes in prior seasons so like wtf

why the fuck is there a miracle box in antarctica WHO PLACED IT THERE LOL

Ok m done for now let’s talk about positive things bc there are some things I’m looking forward to!

Alya as Scarabella FOR THREE EPISODES! sure the premise of two of those episodes sucks balls but im happy to see scarabella in action again

im actually excited for one episode: Determination! The akumatized villain takes us back to the wax museum but this time it seems like she’ll bring to life wax statues of all the heroes so idk maybe im excited for big fights. 

[mahixa]

why you all should read Momentum - an epic story of Remus and Sirius

Written by amazing, wonderful and talented Children of the Shadows, the story is “an epic tale of Remus and Sirius's lives, starting from the very beginning. A love that carries on through trials, tribulations, and war.”

The author portrays all of the characters (including James, Peter, Lily and others) with such incredible depth that the actual writer of HP (what’s her name... don’t remember, don’t care lol) should learn how to write characters from this fanfiction. I know there’s some of you who were not in the fandom in 2006, and maybe some of you prefer to read fics from like, 2010s, and that’s okay! Although the story was not published on ao3 (so on the page that everyone is familiar with right now, all the young and old fans) and it was finished almost 13 years ago, please don’t feel discouraged and give it a try. It’s worth it. I promise.

So here are some of my favourite things about Momentum:

everyone has personality which is complex and complicated and there’s a lot going on here. Any personal struggles, doubts, heartbreaks, hope? - it’s all there, and it’s written like.... *chef’s kiss*

the. connection. between. Remus. and. his. family. It’s so so so important to show his relation with his family members, especially with his parents, because it just adds depth to his character, so he doesn’t seem like a guy who’s only purpose is to be Sirius’s boyfriend. He has other relations, and they are explored in this fic (his friendship with Lily and James is powerful in this one).

James. James Potter. The way he is written here? Magic. Trust me. Like... trust me. You’re not gonna regret it. James is the real MVP.

characters act in a way that is logical and in character for them, and they are not like... cheesy or sappy or two-dimensional whatever reason. They have flaws and act like a human being could act. They make mistakes and have doubts and ask questions and can be problematic. But they learn. The GROWTH in this fic is so wonderful

gay issues and difficulties written accordingly to the period of time (70s). The author pays tribute to how brave the gay people were back then and shows us different aspects of being gay at that time (self-doubt, family issues, that fear of how everyone is going to react, violence, slurs, gay clubs, this impossibility to touch in public. Unfortunately, fucking unfrotunately, in so many cases it still remains to be a huge problem for many of us, but what I’m saying is that it’s important to acknowledge how it used to be as well. I’m not saying these problems are gone now, of course). Sometimes fic writers tend to forget about it and all these aspects and just write these two as being openly and loudly gay - and as much as I would LOVE for all of us, all the amazing LGBTQA+ people to always be able to be ourselves as loudly and openly as we would like to be, it was (and still is in many cases, fuck it, I hate it) not entirely possible.

the humour. This story can be really funny and there were times when I had literal tears in my eyes from laughing so hard when I read it for the first time

James and Lily being the power couple

Sirius and James being brothers BUT them being Remus’s best friends as well

the angst. the angst is really painful. but the fluff. it’s worth it, for the fluff that comes after the pain.

so beautifully written. All the descriptions, all the words, ah, it’s just... it is so easy to read and get lost in it. The dialogues are very realistic (which is, again, another problem that may appear in some fics) and are written in character for these people

the order of the phoenix stuff with the Weasleys and other characters THIS IS GREAT them all being young and brave

Sirius saying bye bitch to his racist family but this not being easy for him, which again - any normal human being would find that hard

Remus and Sirius being in love. But oh boy. This love right here? It’s a totally new definition of loving somebody.

REMUS. AND. SIRIUS. RAISING. HARRY.

here are some of my favourite quotes so you could see what I mean with all of this:

Whoever said Sirius Black and James Potter were the most charismatic and attractive third years in Hogwarts were either insanely blind or were yet to meet Remus Lupin. At least in Sirius's opinion.

***

After all, he [Remus] was anything but normal. There was no way of putting it subtly, the world hated people like him, and he knew for a fact that he was not going to receive any sort of affection from them. So, he craved their love and when his parents got their sudden attacks of overwhelming affection, he clung on to them and returned their embraces and small declarations of love. [...] John Lupin stared into those soft amber eyes, and he let his hand slide, caressing his son's face through the thin glass. 'Love you,' he mouthed before moving away, and Remus nodded.

***

[After Sirius’s prank had gone wrong and Remus ended up in the infirmary]:

'Don't you think the flowers and chocolates are a bit too much, Sirius?' asked James as they walked towards the infirmary.

Sirius finger combed his hair. It was getting a bit too long and he'd sort of grown to like it that way. 'It's called courtesy, James, but I wouldn't expect you to know anything about it.'

'Really? I thought you gave people flowers and chocolates on Valentines Day,' teased James, winking mischievously at Sirius.

***

'Don't be ridiculous, Sirius,' his mother snapped, looking up at him with cold hard eyes. 'Gryffindor is laden with all kinds of lowly people – half bloods, and mudbloods, and what not. I hope you aren't fraternising with any of them.'

Sirius put down his fork and looked his mother directly in the eye. 'I am; three of them in fact.'

***

Sirius caught Remus's hand just as it was about to move away and kissed the heel of his palm softly. 'How were the full moons?' he asked, his lips brushing over Remus's wrist with every word he spoke.

***

[Remus, on the phone with Sirius]

'I'm in muggle jail!' Sirius exclaimed happily and there was an ominous silence that followed.

It was broken by the strangled sounds of Remus asphyxiating. 'WHAT?'

'I know, isn't it fantastic?' Sirius asked, obviously misreading the tone of Remus's voice as excitement. It didn't help that James had fallen to the floor in hysterics and was screaming 'brilliant!' between uncontrollable laughter.

***

[The kiss] It was heat. Heat like they'd never experienced before and an overbearing pressure pushing against them, drawing their bodies closer and closer together. They were drowning in each other, suffocating, completely out of control.

[wannabemerida]

I had so much fun writing my first kid fic with the help of my beta, @heartthrobphilly  and basing it off of @bluevlvvt ’s artwork (the link above!) —— Word count: 2.6k Prompt: Phil offers to drive his friends daughter (lola) to her ballet lesson. he runs into a cute dad with his daughter rosie. he offers to drive lola to her ballet lessons every week after that. (slow plot development lol) Warnings: light cursing, angst —— It’s 3:02pm as Phil waits outside of Brookside Elementary School. According to Ian, Lola usually exits through this door and waits to be retrieved from the playground. So far, there’s no sign of the little blonde girl playing outside.

A shout of “Uncle Phil!” catches his attention and he turns around to the soccer pitch just in time to see the kindergartener running at him, embracing him in a hug when they collide. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m taking care of you tonight, remember? Your dad has a big business dinner, and your mom is in Wolverhampton for her job, yeah?”

“Ohhhhh, I just thought Grandma would be taking care of me again,” the six year old explains, not seeming particularly fussed.

“C’mon, let’s head home.”

Two hours later when Phil suggests they order Chinese to the brick house, Lola quickly shuts his craving down. “Uncle Phil, we can’t have Chinese tonight, Thursdays are always Kraft Dinner nights, dummy!”

“Hey Lola, are you done with your dinner? You have ballet soon and still need to get ready!” Seeing Lola’s face that has a bit of the cheesy noodles left on it from quickly scarfing down her meal, Phil grabs a paper towel from the roll on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah! Do you have my leotard?” Phil grabs the light green leotard out of the overnight bag that Lola had brought along, handing it to her with the napkin, (“Lols, you’re a mess!”) her slippers, and a pair of tights.

The drive to the Portner Ballet Studio takes about 15 minutes, with Phil accidentally hitting every red light possible. This causes Lola some distress, claiming that the five minutes she has before class “isn’t enough to talk to Rosie, and she’s the only nice one there that I like.”

Nevertheless, when the raven-haired man and his favorite “niece” enter the building, a small girl with fluffy brown hair immediately runs up to Lola and hugs her. “Rosie, this is my Uncle Phil!

“Lola! You’re finally here! Daddy said you might not be coming today because you’re normally here before me,” the brunette pauses, “but you’re here now, see, Daddy? I told you she would come!”

Phil is frozen. The man who walks up behind Rosie is the most beautiful person Phil has seen, and that’s saying something, considering that Chris Hemsworth exists. But no, the curly brown fringe, hazel eyes, tall, lanky stature, and his soft face (not to mention his monochrome aesthetic and “best dad in the world” travel mug) easily outrank even the likes of Thor.

“Um, hey?” Phil is snapped out of his trance, needing to be able to respond to the greeting. “You’re Lola’s uncle?”

“Well, um, sort of? I’m really good family friends with Lola’s dad, and so I’m kind of an unofficial uncle to her.” Had he been responding to anything else, Phil probably would’ve stuttered, but the number of times he’s had to explain the title makes it so he can explain perfectly, even in front of someone this stunning.

“I’m- I’m Dan.” The two men glance over at the young girls who are chattering animatedly.

“Oh, yeah, Phil Lester.” Dan holds his hand out for a handshake.

“Rosie’s my daughter,” he says quietly, but there’s no mistaking the fondness he has when he says it.

“I can tell, she looks just like you, without the black and white.”

“Oh, I guess we do? My parents keep saying she looks like, um, Angie-” Dan’s voice decrescendos as he gets further along his sentence.

“Angie … is Rosie’s mom?”

“Oh, um, yeah.” Phil’s heart drops.

“Cool.” Not cool. Dan has a wife. Dan had a kid. With his wife.

“Have you got any kids?” Dan asks, a light blush still visible across his cheeks.

“Ah, no, I didn’t have time to find someone in Uni and now I’m single with 2 masters degrees.” Phil unconsciously plots a way to make himself seem more interesting.

“What are they in?” Dan asks, looking genuinely curious.

“I got my first one in English language and linguistics, and my second in post-production editing.”

“What do you do with those? How do they fit together?”

“I’m a special effects engineer for Disney, and they don’t really fit together to be honest,” Phil pauses, “although I do make YouTube videos and that kind of meshes them together,”

“Wow, um, cool,” Dan stutters.

“So what about you?”

“Huh?”

“What’s your job, besides ‘best dad in the world’?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m stupid.” Phil giggles, thinking of how his father would reply with ‘Hi stupid, I’m dad!’. “But I’m a writer for Vogue and I dabble in fashion photography. It’s mainly just taking photos of Rosie if I’m being honest, but the photographers sometimes get sick and I end up doing the shoot.”

“Vogue? Like, the fashion magazine?” Phil doesn’t know much about fashion, but he’s seen the magazine numerous times in the Tesco checkout lane.

“Yeah, well, technically it’s British Vogue, but…”

“Yeah.”

There’s a calm but slightly awkward silence as the conversation loses direction. The two men avoid eye contact, not wanting to make it worse.

The silence is broken by Dan’s tenor voice. “So what films have you worked on?”

“I got to work a bit on Spiderman: Homecoming, but the Live-action Beauty and the Beast was pretty fun. You know the scene where the gold leaf comes off of the ceiling to go on Belle’s dress?” When Dan nods, Phil breaks out into a grin. “That was me.”

“Wow.” Dan breathes out. “After she saw that, she kept trying to put stickers on her ceiling in the hopes that they would transfer to her shirt. It was a nightmare.”

“Ah, sorry.”

“Nah mate, it was kind of funny as well. I’ve got a few photos that I’ll save for when she graduates.”

“She’ll love that,” Phil chuckles, and the deep, throaty sound makes Dan’s heart stutter. “So you’re into fashion?”

Dan blushes. “Yeah? I mean I can’t really afford any designers, but I’ll turn into a fanboy at times.”

“Why do they charge so much? Like, half of the suits these designers make look identical to something I could buy from a department store for thousands of dollars less.”

“Well, a lot of designers carefully hand-make every piece, whereas the stuff you get in a store has probably been made by a pre-programmed machine and poorly paid workers in a factory. There’s also differences in fabric types, quality, and origins. And, a lot of designers will tailor the suit to perfectly fit you for a slightly higher price. If you go to a department store-”

“I see what you mean when you say you turn into a fanboy, but thank you for the mini lesson on why celebrities are willing to spend so much money on a navy tux. Your insights are amusing.” Phil grins.

“Did you also know that navy suits are better investments than black ones? It’s because the blue fits into so many more settings than a black one.”

While Phil could watch Dan talk about his passions for hours, just watching and memorizing how the lines change across his face, and God, that dimple, Phil supposes his relentless staring would get a bit creepy. “So what are the ballet lessons like? I’ve only been to a few of Lola’s performances.”

“Oh, um, well, they spend the first 20 minutes warming up, and then they move to the barre where they practice a bunch of stuff that’s in French that I can’t remember, and then they start to go over the routine for their next performance.”

“What is it?”

“What?”

“Their next performance?”

“Yeah! Sorry, I’m stupid,” Dan blushes for what must be the fiftieth time since he first met Phil. “The studio is putting on The Firebird.”

“No! Um, I mean, you’re not stupid. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with The Firebird. What is it about?” Phil has heard the name before, but only in the context of movie scores resembling Stravinsky’s composition. “It sounds kind of intense, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, um, I don’t know much, but from what Rosie’s told me, the firebird gets caught by a prince and when he lets her go she helps him defeat the magician to save some princess, but I’m pretty sure I’m missing like half of the plot. I would say to just Google it and not to go by my word,” The nervous laughter emitted by Dan makes Phil instantly worry that he might have made the brunet uncomfortable or misread Dan’s friendliness as a blossoming friendship when it might have been a ploy to gather gossip for the nosy ballet moms.

“Thanks, I think I’ll trust you on that.” Dan offers a small smile at Phil’s response, letting the two men fall into silence as they watch the group of young girls and 3 boys practice their pliés and dégagés. An hour and a half later, the children exit the studio and find their guardians to go home.

“It was nice meeting you, Phil,’’ Dan admits as Rosie and Lola exchange a goodbye hug. The six words send Phil’s heart into overdrive and he feels his cheeks heating up.

“Yeah, you too, Dan,” Phil replies, proud of himself for not tripping over his words. Looking back, Phil’s whole interaction was impressive, considering his track record of ending up injured in some way.

Last time, Phil wound up with a broken ankle, having paid more attention to the cute digital renderer than the set of stairs they were walking down. It wasn’t all for nothing, though, Phil having gained the cute man’s phone number. Not that that did much for his love life, finding out two days that the boy he had his eyes on was dating the very female gaffer of their most recent movie, but that’s not the point.

This time, nothing will happen, because a) Phil dropping Lola off at ballet was a one time thing, so most likely, he’ll never see Dan again, and b) Dan has a daughter, who is his genetically, which means he has (or had) a wife, all summarizing that no matter how cute the brunet is, Dan is straight.

Not that Phil’s brain will accept that Dan is off-limits as a possible partner. Over the next few days, the image of soft brown eyes, curly fringes, and lanky limbs continuously make appearances in the back of Phil’s head. The very effective distractions cause Phil’s co-workers to worry, and PJ’s repetitive “have you been sleeping okay?”s have driven Phil to the point of insanity.

The answer to PJ’s question is quite easily “no”, Phil having only slept well once that week (he refused to admit it but that was the night that he got off to the image of a faceless figure who looked suspiciously like the boy who wouldn’t leave his head.)

By Wednesday, Phil was fed up with his brain’s reaction to not having seen Dan since the previous Thursday. Pulling out his phone, he does the only thing he can think of to satisfy his hungry mind. He calls Ian.

“Phil? Do you need something?” is the answer he gets when Ian finally picks up.

“No, um, I was just wondering, would you like me to take Lola to ballet again tomorrow?” Phil looks at the lines he had written down on a notepad, an effort to keep himself from going into a 20-minute rant about how in love with Dan he is.

“Sure, I guess? Why are you offering?”

“Just thought that you and Pam could use a break,”

“Oh, okay then, thanks! Same as last week?”

“Sure! Talk to you later!”

Phil’s convinced that his squeal of excitement was the reason that the people who lived across the street turned their lights on and not the fact that their smoke detector went off. He probably set that off too, in hindsight. And caused the stove fire.

23 hours later, Phil finds himself standing inside the dance studio again, surrounded by shrieking kids, chattering parents, and the faint sound of the top 20 radio playing in the background.

“Mister Phil! Where’s Lola?” Rosie pulls on Phil’s sleeve, stopping when she sees her best friend walk out of the bathroom.

“Why, Miss Rosie, she’s right there!” Rosie giggles, pulling out of a hug with Lola.

“I know that now, silly.” She and Lola run into the studio, eager to get to do the optional partner stretches before class starts.

“Are you Lola’s father?” A woman dressed in a skirt suit and heels walks up behind Phil.

“Oh, no, I’m just a family friend. I occasionally take Lola to ballet to give her parents some alone time.”

“Ah.” The woman sticks her hand out for a handshake. “I’m Angela Wright, Rosie’s mom.”

Had there been a small creature under it, Phil’s heart would have killed it from the speed at which it fell. He knew that Rosie had a mom, that Dan had a wife, that Dan wasn’t available. So why did it still hurt so much?

“Oh, cool,” Phil responds a moment later, his voice considerably deflated.

Phil’s unspoken question is answered right as it pops into is head. “Dan contracted the flu, and is stuck at home in bed, which is why I’m here this week. I’m normally responsible for taking Rosie to taekwondo while he takes care of ballet lessons, but that evidently won’t work this week. Honestly, it’s just like Dan to get a winter disease in the middle of summer.”

“I was going to ask about setting up a playdate between Rosie and Lola, but…” Angie trails off.

“Yeah,” Phil nods in understanding, not liking this woman any more than he did a minute ago. “I’m gonna go sit down.” No response comes from the woman, but Phil’s not particularly bothered.

Maybe he should be nicer to the wife of the man he’s stupidly trying to woo, but he just can’t. How is he supposed to be nice to his competition, who’s already clearly won?

When he vaguely notices the ballet instructor make a big motion with her arms, Phil decides that watching a group of five and six year olds is an adequate distraction from the turmoil in his brain. After 10 minutes of watching the kids do various tasks, jumping and prancing around the room, he zones off.

“Uncle Phillll, come onnnnnnn!” wakes Phil from his trance, no longer seeing the ballet students in the studio but now milling around the lobby and leaving. “Class ended like, forever ago! Can we leave? I wanna go get ice cream!”

A quick look at the clock told Phil that class had only ended 5 minutes ago, but to an antsy six-year-old, he supposed that could feel like an eternity.

“Lola, we aren’t getting ice cream. I’d rather not have your parents be mad at me for loading you up on sugar, right?” The small girl pouts but grabs Phil’s hand, dragging him to the car.

While it was easy getting Lola into her car seat, getting her out was a whole other task. It took Phil, Ian, Pamela, a blanket, 2 stuffed animals, and a lullaby to successfully remove the sleeping child out of the carseat, into the house, and onto her bed where she could sleep without interruption.

Once he was back in his car, Phil sat in the driveway, resting his head on the steering wheel, regretting ever offering to take Lola to dance lessons at all. Remember back in college when all those crushes were single? You fucked up, bud.

[tippitv]

Recap: “Ouroboros” 14-14

Hey everyone! In an effort to get the recap out in a timely fashion, I'm trying something new. I'm doing it live-blog style and adding gifs already available on Tumblr as I format it for posting. Making pics with captions and photoshopping is super slow and laborious on my ancient computer. Just that part of the recaps usually takes 8-10 hours to do. In a recap that has a LOT of graphics, it might take 12.

THEN!

Ooh I've apparently missed more episodes than I realized. Veronica Cartwright, who's one of my favorite character actresses ever, brought Jack back to life. 

But with like... dire consequences, as per yoozh.

NOW!

Raton, New Mexico. Hey I've been there! I was driving to Colorado when I was 19 and we hit Raton riiiiight before we had to start driving up a narrow mountain road... when an ice storm hit... and I, a Texan who'd never driven over so much as an ice cube, thought I was going to kill us all.

Anyway it's nice to see an episode start somewhere in the Southwest for a change of pace.

This music is super cute. Someone let me know what it is? Also, I don't know who this guy is but he knows how to chop vegetables. I like him already! Oh... oh wait. There's a dead man on his kitchen island and the knife guy is harvesting his organs for dinner. Sorry, my dude, but I only have room in my heart for one cannibal

Oh he's got some lizard eyes on him, too. That's also a deal breaker. Somehow his repto-vision allows him to sense that the Winchesters are coming for him, so he grabs his pet snake Felix and sneaks away.

The episode is titled "Ouroboros," and I can't see that word without thinking of the episode of Red Dwarf where the people found the cardboard box with Lister in it. They misread the word as "Our Rob, or Ross." Shout out to the handful people following me who know what I'm talking about.

The Winchesters show up. Oh hey Castiel and Jack are with them, too! Snake Boy didn't see that. "Oh no," Cas says, despairing at the scene in the kitchen. I know. A wasted pasta dinner! Also a dead body.

Sam and Dean are frustrated that they've failed to catch this guy yet again. How is anyone not barfing at the smell of fried human liver? Have they become inured to it because of all the flaming hunter funerals? That's probably it.

"My money's on witchcraft," Dean grumbles. Rowena walks up behind him like

Oh ho ho why's she so flirtatious with Castiel? What did I miss there? Well he seems as confused as I am, and less titillated. Maybe nothing happened and she's just someone with eyes who happens to see how cute he is.

Everyone wonders why the victim, like all the other victims, appears not to have fought back. I mean, there's a lot of nihilism these days. Maybe it's a case of "fuck it, if this guy doesn't kill me the climate change will." Jack finds a freshly shed snake skin on the floor.

They wonder if the victim had pet snakes but think he doesn't seem the type. Like, I know a stay-at-home suburban mom with multiple snakes so I don't think there's just one type of herp enthusiast. Jack starts coughing and everyone's like

Jack assures them he's not dying again but he probably is.

Rowena notices there's a blackish powder around the victim's lips. The others tell her the other victims had something similar but they ignored it so that Dean and Rowena could look back and forth at each other with their best So Done faces.

As funny as the exchange is, I do so hate plot-necessitated dumbness. There's no way they wouldn't have looked into the black powder on all the victims' faces.

Sam and Rowena do some research in the motel de la nuit, which has a fabulous Missoni-inspired wallpaper. Man I wouldn't mind having some of that! Anyway, she's curious about Jack being not-dead and Dean keeping an archangel locked up in his head somehow. Sam doesn't want to talk about it.

Meanwhile, Jack's in the bathroom having one of those Moulin Rouge coughing fits. Has anyone thought of like... getting the kid some Robitussin? He uses a small amount of power to heal his cough. I think Veronica Cartwright warned against this in the previouslies.  

Dean's growing a mite weary and still thinks their inevitable option is going to be the magic coffin. Cas's face goes

Castiel tiredly explains what the word "liturgical" means when Jack and Dean give him confused looks. I mean I guess Jack might not know, but Dean should sure as heck know.

When they get back to the motel, Rowena says they're dealing with a Gorgon. "Like Medusa!" Dean pipes up. Oh I bet this leads to a Clash of the Titans jok---and there it is. They blah blah blah about how eating human eyes allows a Gorgon to see the future and evade capture. "So even if we use your tracking spell, he'll know," Cas says. Why do they assume it's a man when the Gorgons have always been depicted as shes?

So Snake Boy approaches a guy outside a truck stop and asks for help. "I'd find a way to pay you back." He turns the flirting up about ten notches and the trucker shiftily tells him to get inside. They kiss and the trucker is slowly paralyzed. Oh noooo I have a dozen things to say about queer villainy and victimization but I'm live blogging so remind me to come back to it.

Cas's hair is high as hell today. Remember there was this whole plot a while back about how Heaven is running out of power because there are so few angels? Maybe he's powering Heaven with his hair.

Noah, that's apparently the Gorgon's name, has left a note on the body for Dean. "I see you standing alone reading this note," NUH UH he's standing with Cas. He warns Dean to stop chasing him. "Why doesn't he mention me?" Cas asks. Right?? "Maybe you're not his type," Dean says. Cas rolls his eyes upward but the low-hanging fruit is practically on the ground.

After a confab with Sam and Rowena, they work out a plan for Cas and Jack to go after Noah since they seem to be invisible to him. They just need some anti-venom in case the Gorgon tries to poison them. Or just tell them not to kiss the guy? Maybe they don't know kissing is how he

OH MY FUCKING GOD ROWENA TURNS JACK INTO A VERY TINY DOG AND RUSHES HIM TO THE VET WITH SAM AND HE LOOKS LIKE A MUPPET

Jack the dog gets a thermometer up the butt... Then the vet or tech or whoever she is just... leaves him on the exam table unattended. That's not remotely what happens at clinics but whatever. As soon as Jack is alone, he turns back into a person with all his clothes on. I don't know why that seems more unrealistic to me than him turning into a dog, period.

He finds the anti-venom, makes a joke about his poor butt, and then Sam and Rowena have a conversation in the parking lot about how he was brought back to life. Then the vet runs out and confronts them!

Just kidding, they talk as long as they want without ever being discovered.

Noah's got his latest victim tied up somewhere. He says he finds more men to eat because women are more cautious. True dat. He kept the guy alive long enough to blah blah for a while but now he gives him a smooch on the cheek to paralyze him.

Rowena casts a locator spell... Why wouldn't Noah be able to see her and know something is up? Only the angelic ones are invisible to him. Oh my word Castiel kicks open the door VERY forcefully and I'm like

But wait... first he knocked. Why did he knock first? You know what let's just move on. Castiel goes and de-venomizes the latest victim. For some reason nobody's cutting off Noah's head yet so he just goes on talking. Something about a snake and some chicken eggs. Even Castiel is like, "Why are you telling this story??" And Noah, looking at Jack, goes, "Because I can't tell if he's the chicken or the snake."

Fisticuffs attempt to ensue! Lolol it's briefly a slap fight. Noah kisses Cas on the cheek. This is the most unrealistic part of this episode. Why would you kiss some rando trucker on the mouth and not this guy.

Hm there's still 15 minutes left. For some reason, the anti-venom doesn't work on Cas, so Jack has to use some of his powers. Maybe you should have tried giving him more of it first but whatever.

LOL they drive all the way from New Mexico to Kansas with unconscious Dean and rush him into the med bay. It's at least an eight hour drive! Maggie's like, "I'll get some ice!" It's been at least eight hours! Why didn't they just bring him to a regular hospital?? Nothing supernatural happened to him! He got his head wanged!

Jack is pretty upset about the prospect of Dean dying but Cas seems... philosophical about it. Maybe he knows they got renewed for season 15 and isn't too worried.

Oh Dean's awake and everything's fine! Just kidding he's on a rampage knocking everything over. Someone tell Maggie to forget the ice. He's in a rage because he "let his guard down" and now Michael has left. I mean... you were knocked out by a plot contrivance, my dude. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Oh shiiiit Michael's gone and killed everyone in the bunker. Not any of the main characters, obviously, but everyone else. Oh double shiiiiiit he's got Rowena as a vessel now. Wait. Why would she have said yes to him?

Ah...Michael paid her a little visit in her mind and said he'd kill everyone she cares about. She's loath to admit it but she does care for these people. Well, the main characters, at least.

Oh my gosh I love Ruth Connell. This is my fave version of Michael yet. Too bad it won't last!

Jack decides to use his powers to save everyone even if it means dying! Except he doesn't die because it's only March. He forces Michael out of Rowena, then sucks down the evacuated grace like

Everything goes quiet. Everyone's like... wtf? what?? the fuck??? They wait on pins and needles to see what happened to Jack. Jack's like, "I'm me again!" with the glowing flame eyes and the shadow wings. The music makes this seem very ominous. Maybe it means he doesn't have a soul anymore. Either way he seems very powerful again so good luck getting a rectal thermometer into him now.

Wait... why was this episode called Ouroboros when it was an entirely different snake thing? Ohhh maybe it was Jack eating/using his own powers to help himself? Let's say it's that.

If you enjoyed this recap, and are able, please drop something into my virtual tip jar here: https://www.paypal.me/tippiblevins  Henry the Hound and I could use grocery/vet money so anything is appreciated, including reblogs!

Thank you for reading!

[retphienix]

It's been 6 years :)

On March 30th, 2015 I decided I wanted a gaming side blog. (so we're early, but shush, it's the month for me)

I didn't know what I'd use it for exactly, but I had ideas- something I always have even if most of them only get as far as daydreamin' or writing out before closing them :P

For proof on the lack of direction the blog initially had- the March 30th date is the anniversary of my first post, an in-depth and lengthy review of Dragon Warrior Monsters for the GBC.

If you know the blog then you know "Extremely long and in-depth reviews" aren't the norm around here. As a matter of fact, that first post is the ONLY one I've done!

The closest I've come to ever repeating that would be the (word of the day) Directionless video I put out on Hades to get a grip on the concept of making videos, but that wasn't nearly as much of a 'review' as that first post is.

Tangent, definitely planning on trying my hand at videos some more for the foreseeable future. Probably not gonna use the tagline Full Impressions that I tossed as a whim for the Hades video but yeah- I'm excited to try my hand at a few videos :) tangent over.

It didn't take me long to come up with what I'd like to do for the blog though :)

A few months later I liveblogged a challenge run of FFT where I used only Ramza- a solo run. - Which maybe only happened because I tried a nuzlocke run a year prior on my main account-

(Nuzlocke | FFT challenge run)

Thanks to that haphazard liveblog experiment I started to realize a couple things which became the primary motivators behind this blog.

1) I LOVE sharing experiences. No brainer, I'm sure, but being able to share my experiences, and compare them with others' experiences, and just that mutual sharing is uplifting and feels good to do.

2) Liveblogging is an EXCEPTIONAL motivator to buckle down and play all those games I said I'd play (cue everyone laughing because I'm still way behind and have an immeasurable backlog).

But I mean that, on both respects. I have plenty of motivators toward the blog today, but if I were to be concise it's pretty much "It's easier to beat games if I liveblog them- otherwise I get distracted and play other games" and "I love sharing experiences and thoughts with people about my favorite thing- games."

Since 2015 I've tackled around 70 games as full playthroughs, and an untold ton as one offs or just to ramble about for a bit.

I've had a lot of highlights over the years, and I don't talk much about it as an overall experience so I thought for the anniversary I'd try to do just that. Not everything- I can't say I have photographic memory that would bring all of it up without prompting after all :P But whatever comes to mind as I browse some of my old stuff- as well as some thoughts on what I'd like to see in the future.

It's gonna be a bit self-centric I assume as I type this preamble to it, so let me say outright that this blog wouldn't be half of what it is without all the people who've given it the time of day over the years.

From recommending games they love or appreciate, to comparing thoughts, to offering kind words for analysis I've done over the years, to pointing out when I'm dumb and misread a situation :P- to, yes, even the people who decided "Fuck this guy's ramble" and deleted my captions before reblogging my gifs way back during Hamtaro (Of COURSE I remember that! It's amusing lol).

This is better because of others, because of the interactions and the people I've gotten the chance to chat with or befriend. It's just a liveblog more or less, my own little bit of fun I toss out for myself if for anyone- so seeing others enjoy this or that from the work I put into sharing my experiences or thoughts is always a joy in itself :)

Anyway, onto selfishly rambling about some tidbits of the past :)

Also sorry but no, opted to not shove a ton of photos in, it does have a handful of links to old posts though :P

This'll be disorganized as heck as I'll add to it over time before I feel it's worth posting (or the tumblr post editor becomes a hassle and more or less forces me to).

First~

FFT Solo Ramza Challenge: Considering it was roughly the first thing this blog has done, it's also something that's stuck in my head a lot more clearly than most of the other stuff I've done to be honest lol.

In truth, this is partially because FFT is my favorite game, bar none. But it's also because the whole experience was pretty new to me. Prior to it I had really only done one self-imposed-challenge that wasn't requested by the game in some manner and that was a nuzlocke run of Blue version.

So adding a challenge to my favorite game was a fantastic experience!

Notes I just wanted to say today about that run: If anyone enjoys FFT I honestly recommend giving it a shot for the unique story it lends itself to. I do recommend skipping the rules until after the second battle but that's up to YOU to decide.

My first post on the subject is me complaining about spending 4 hours grinding out the second fight and, despite hyperbole being my natural state, that was NOT hyperbole.

It DID take 60~ restarts to beat. It DID take 4 hours. The reason is that that 2nd battle is RNG as HECK, you HAVE to have Delita do some meaningful actions, you HAVE to have the enemies miss and make poor plays, you damn near HAVE to crit a few instances to save yourself from taking too much damage.

It's a numbers game to the extreme, so I wouldn't fault anyone for 'cheating' and skipping the 2nd fight for the ruleset lol.

The memory that stands out the most for that run is actually isolated in a post in which Ramza (Purrick in this run) talks like a total badass as just ONE DUDE running into a room full of enemies. I just think on that as a great encapsulated view of what it was like. The run started off face grindingly difficult, but because FFT is a game that offers so much freedom to the player it was extremely easy to 'break' the game into making Purrick overpowered as hell.

That's something I love about some tactical RPGs, I love having the ability to play smart so that I can play stupid later on, and breaking the game into making him one shot god is certainly a good payoff for playing smart early on :P

RetQuick: I miss RetQuick, it was primarily a short experiment I did in 2015 where I'd play a game for a short span of time (REALLY short, like 10-20 minutes) and record that for the purpose of making gifs and saying a short piece on what I thought.

It's one of those formats where the purpose was pretty shallow- but had a reason. I wanted to try making some gifs with some tools that existed online, so I made an excuse to do just that.

I also wanted to play a TON of games, usually through emulation on my sister's PSP, and this let me do that.

These two minor goals came together and so I spent a while making RetQuicks which were honestly more fun to make than they had any right to be. I mean the gifs were tedious but the playing? The thought sharing? The end product ocassionally having more appeal than just a photoset? It was fun.

I'm thinking whenever I have trouble picking a game for the blog I'll revisit the format... sorta.

I already reused it for a short stint to show clips I had no plan on expanding into a playthrough, but that died as well as it was too similar to Tidbits posts (another tag I no longer really use).

My thought is to rebrand retquick as something of a tryout for what game comes next. Play a handful of my backlog games for an hour or so each and say some thoughts before saying which one I'll continue as the main game for that period of time.

Old Tag Stuff: One of those things that only sticks to me since I made the decisions but it's always funny for me to look back on my old posts because I was apprehensive as hell toward making my posts visible. The reason my early playthroughs on the My-Tags page are variants of Ret instead of just "The name of the game so people can find this post" is because I felt like a liveblog would just spam the tag to hell-

Something I don't remotely feel bad for doing anymore.

So I avoided getting any sort of spotlight for quite a while on the blog for little reason.

Why Retphienix?: This is just a dumb thought I wanted to share and I'm sure I've said before.

It stands for retro!

Yeah!

Ain't that dumb and also not a real shorthand? lol

I think I have some sort of deer in headlights anxiety towards naming things, I mean do you think I think Full Impressions is a good summation for a video? I don't. But perhaps that's overshadowed by the other inexperiences and anxiety driven decisions that had- doesn't matter.

Retphienix is Retphienix because I sat there in 2015 and thought "Well... what do I name an alt account?"

My main is Redphienix, which yes, is ALSO a terrible name AND is misspelled. But it's that because of sentimental reasons. As a kid I misspelled Redphoenix when making my gamertag (I knew how to spell Phoenix back then as well, I was too excited about xbox live and misspelled it) and it's become something of a sentimental misspelling.

So I wanted to make a mix on that for my game blog, but I had no idea what. In the end I thought "RetroPhienix? I don't know. Retphienix is closer to Redphienix. I'll do that" and so it was done.

And just like how Redphienix is both bad and misspelled but exists because of sentimental reasons- Retphienix has acquired the same 'flavor' in my eye lol.

Aspirations for the blog: I have no immediate ramp up plans or road map or whatever, and in truth I'll be happy if the blog stays just as it is forever- up until tumblr ends- I cry over lost posts- and I reopen it on another platform.

But I do have blurry half-considered daydreams that I'd like to see happen for the blog through some hard work or shifts on my part.

One is something I'm already doing kinda, hence my embarrassing means of bringing it up a lot lately. Videos- I want those. I wanna make some looks back on series people don't talk about that I enjoy, I want to make videos sharing my thoughts on games I beat for the blog (like what full impressions kinda was, but I don't think they'll have a unified name from here on out). Maybe retrospectives, but mostly when I think of making a video tied to retphienix or me in general it's me looking at a game that said something to me, and saying it louder with my own interpretations on it.

You know the kind, videos where they talk about a video game but not the whole thing- just a singular message they really heard loud and clear from it intentionally or not. I dig those and I know I end a lot of games having plenty to say that could be directed into such a format.

We'll see.

And I'm along for the ride on that one as well- currently I'm keeping my eyes on whatever is directly next, which happens to be "I plan on playing Omori, if it clicks as something to talk about I would like to take a shot at that in a video too!"

The other is that I'd like to build a small community. Wouldn't know the first thing on doing that in a modern sense, but just a little online friend group to chat with and play games together. Something that could open up multiplayer and coop experiences being better shared on the blog and would just in general expand my gaming to what it used to be back on the 360 when I had a large group to play with.

Since the 360 era ended I've pretty much closed off- stopped playing competitive games due to lack of interest- and slowed down to playing all games either solo, with randoms (and no mic usually), or with my cousin. It's a rare instance when I play with some good people like @gamesception or another friend of mine, John.

When I diverted from playing competitive games nonstop toward other genres I didn't intend to also cut out all my online gaming buds, it just kinda happened, and I never really put any effort into rectifying that.

So more or less I'd like to one day sit down and work on a discord server, and then buck up and put the leg work in to make some gamin' buds again, but that's such a vague concept anymore.

Sounds all sad and what not but it's more ambivalent, I made decisions that

changed how gaming worked for me after the 360 and this is just where it landed for better and worse- I'd just like to see if I can make it a little better :P

General things I think when I think retphienix: Honestly? I think of how much fun I've had over the years and how thankful I am to have had an outlet that encouraged me to explore more of the medium.

I REALLY love games. I went to college for games, I've written LEAGUES about games, I've played countless games, my childhood was games, my adult life is games- games games games yada yada yada.

So when I think of retphienix I think of how without it I probably wouldn't have explored a lot of the corners of gaming that I have.

I genuinely, and I mean this, might not have sat down and beaten FF7 for myself and would have considered the amount I played as a kid to be enough.

I might not have played Chrono Trigger yet, and I KNOW I wouldn't have played Chrono Cross, and I'm happy as hell to have played both of those. CT was a mind blowing moment for me that showed me just how good an RPG can be, and CC gave me miles to think of in terms of innovating an RPG and how beholden to the narrative a sequel should be (I don't feel CC should have been chrono at all lol).

I DEFINITELY wouldn't have given New Vegas another chance. And I know I'm a sourpuss on NV, I've been that way since I maxed my achievements on the 360 for it, but replaying it really did reveal to me how exceedingly negative I was being.

My memories had become "It's brown and a boring location >:(" and "The factions all suck and it doesn't do anything with the idea of bad factions >:(" and became "It's... a little brown guys, not a big fan of the area" and "They didn't do enough with exploring the gray factions" while adding "Wait. This is pretty damn fun. And 90% of the additions are stellar. And I forgot about Dead Money, my favorite dlc in any game ever with a story that tears at my heart every time I think of it, NV good actually?"

Faxanadu would have remained a cool game I saw on SSFF and not a game I played to the end and fell in love with the aesthetic feel it has!

Also that's a game I cheated like crazy on lol, I would do it again! Save state scumming games meant to be rudely difficult is only fair :P

I probably would have never sat down to play through Windwaker which was such a positive and uplifting experience that I now get the most relaxed and warm feeling in my heart when I see those blue waves.

There's so many experiences I would have left on the table in favor of like... putting more hours into a live service title or something.

Maybe, and no offense to my cousin or anyone else playing it, but maybe I'd be no-lifing World of Warcraft nonstop just stagnating my interest toward the skinner box mechanics of an MMO?

Some offense, actually but lightheartedly lol.

But beyond the entire games I've played for the blog, when I think retphienix I picture all the time making gifs, all those games I played on the PSP for short stints, buying a retron 5 to add to what I could explore and being stoked when they shipped a freebie box of old controllers to go with it, getting angry at the retron for being a Piece Of Shit lol, crying at the end of damn near every game with an emotional story because I'm a big emotional mess of a person who finds investing and crying at a story way too easy thanks to empathy pulls, oh!-

Getting excited whenever I found that I had a "*controversial*" opinion that no one would care about lol. Like the one that comes to mind is that I thoroughly believe that Dragon Ball Z II: Gekishin Freeza!! for the NES is WAY better than the fandom recognized and appreciated sequel/remake Dragon Ball Z: Legend of the Super Saiyan!

How many people do you hear talking about either game, let alone saying the NES game that is roughly half of the SNES remake is the better one :P But I stand by that! The SNES one is a remake of DBZ1 and 2 for the NES but it loses all the charm and some of the fun of the NES ones by being a lackluster SNES game!

lol

I admitted wholeheartedly that this post would be a lit-

little directionless (gotta love the new tumblr poster making me break sentences like that), but to sum things up.

It's been 6 years. It's been an untold amount of work to be honest- liveblogging a game, at least for me, hasn't been the easiest thing. It's a lot of thinking out my thoughts (heh), it's a lot of learning tools to make the capturing process possible, it's a lot of experimenting, it's a lot of writing and editing, and, well, sometimes it's just tough.

I mean I went to school for coding, not video editing, not writing, not image processing, not this or that- but this hobby has introduced a lot of things even if only at a VERY base level (I admit fully to using online alternatives to make gifs for instance).

I learned a lot about, well, a lot of things in order to use this blog to learn more about games- and all that work has become part of why I've loved all 6 years of this blog.

6 years of gaming, work, and you all- and it's been worth the investment :) Here's to many more and all of you whether you stumble upon this post or not- literally anyone who's interacted in these 6 years, thank you, and anyone who hasn't I offer you well wishes as well.

<3

[romcomathon2016]

Admission (USA, 2013)

Predictions: Alex predicted, based off vague memories of the trailer, that Tina Fey worked in admissions for...somewhere, and Paul Rudd was a parent trying to get his kid into a school? Kat, feeling a desire to mix it up, predicted that Paul Rudd wanted to go to the school himself. Ooooo, a twist!

Plot: Tina Fey is a Princeton admissions officer -- a position that makes her both wildly popular and wildly unpopular. She lives with long-term boyfriend Professor Michael Sheen, but their relationship is...shall we say...lacking. When her boss, Wallace Shawn, declares that this will be his last year as Dean of Admissions, Tina Fey knows she has to be more competitive to get his job. She journeys to Paul Rudd’s hippie school in New Hampshire to meet his first-ever graduating class. You know, one of those farm schools with cows and snowshoeing and stuff. (Okay, you may not know. BUT WE SURE DO. #a very specific New England experience) There, she meets Paul Rudd’s favorite student, Nat Wolff, who is apparently a genius.

BUT OH LOOK, A TWIST (not the one we predicted): Paul Rudd secretly actually brought Tina Fey there to meet Nat Wolff not just because he is a genius, but because Paul Rudd suspects that Nat Wolff, who was adopted, is actually Tina Fey's biological son, whom she gave up for adoption while she and Paul Rudd were both at Dartmouth. (The non-stop East Coast academic name-dropping in this movie, btw. Colleges. Private schools. We lol-ed.) Yeah, he just springs this on her after dinner, nbd, and she’s like WHAT???? and he’s like, “I have a Xeroxed birth certificate that matches with my vague recollection from the Dartmouth grapevine!” (Spoiler alert: this is not the thorough amount of research one should do before dropping this kind of bombshell on a stranger, PAUL RUDD.) Tina Fey, scarred from her disorganized upbringing at the hands of Lily Tomlin, who is...a very specific kind of New Englander, is basically terrified of parenthood, though. So she flees from Paul Rudd. Understandably.

However, also understandably, back at home/work, Tina Fey cannot quite put this news out of her head. Furthermore, Professor Michael Sheen tells her he’s impregnated a co-worker and is leaving her. Yikes. Rough go of it for Tina Fey. Then Paul Rudd, good old persistent Paul Rudd, accompanies Nat Wolff on a Princeton tour** and takes this opportunity to continue to accost Tina Fey. After like...three of these confrontations, she agrees to look at Nat Wolff’s transcripts and whatnot. Shocker — he is not an amazing student. Like, had a D+ average before transferring to Paul Rudd's hippie school. But he does have great test scores and is, like we said, apparently a genius. So Tina Fey, questionably in terms of both admissions-officer ethics and wisdom, goes to bat for this kid she thinks is probably her son.

After some shenanigans -- including Tina Fey hooking up with Paul Rudd and sucking up to all her colleagues -- the admissions committee nonetheless fails, alas, to accept Nat Wolff. (Understandable. Look, it’s Princeton. Nat Wolff, perhaps you should have visited some other schools. Hampshire, perhaps?) BUT THEN. An extremely disappointed, disillusioned Tina Fey receives a phone call from a high school counselor who informs her that one of Princeton’s accepted students will actually be attending Yale. An extra spot!!!! Tina Fey seizes this opportunity, super unethically, and switches up the admissions records so Nat Wolff gets in. OF COURSE SHE IS FOUND OUT IMMEDIATELY, having committed the World’s Most Obvious Admissions-Officer Crime, but, as she knew would be the case, Wallace Shawn can only demand her resignation, not rescind the acceptance, as he does not want Princeton’s whole ~system to be called into question. Clever-ish, Crazed Tina Fey...we suppose...

Anyway, so, she’s lost her job, but it’s fine! She has new meaning in her life! She’s going to bond with her son, Nat Wolff! Right?? NOT SO FAST. Turns out Nat Wolff is not her biological son — Paul Rudd, like, misread the birth certificate, basically. (OH MY GOD. GET IT TOGETHER, PAUL RUDD.) Tina Fey is understandably super pissed at Paul Rudd, etc. Has a confrontation with Lily Tomlin, blah blah blah, grows as a person, blah blah blah... Eventually, she and Paul Rudd get together for real, and she goes to the adoption agency to try to initiate contact with her actual biological son. He writes back that he isn’t ready yet to meet her, but maybe someday.

**A Quick Geography PSA: In this movie, people are constantly driving between Keene, NH, and Princeton, NJ. As people who are familiar with both of those places/have Google Maps, we would like to inform anybody who is thinking of making this drive themselves (MISLED BY THIS FILM, PERHAPS) -- it is a five-hour drive. Not a twenty-minute jaunt, as this movie makes it appear. UNLESS YOUR CAR IS SECRETLY ALSO AN AIRPLANE.

Best Scene: Tina Fey at the English department party she hosts with Professor Michael Sheen, during which he leaves her. Her breakdown is quite humorous. Poor Tina Fey. Also, we enjoyed every time Professor Michael Sheen turned up subsequently, his appearance generally serving to highlight Tina Fey’s sad life. (Oh, Michael Sheen. He’s always so Michael Sheen.)

Worst Scene: Hmmm. Honestly, watching the admissions officers reject the various accomplished high-schoolers was sad. (WE'RE SOFT, OKAY???? WE WOULD NEVER MAKE IT AS ADMISSIONS OFFICERS.) (Although...we did also judge those poor kids a bit ourselves. ONLY TWO EXTRACURRICULARS, HUH. AT PRINCETON???? ...Alas, we are all products of our #millennial time.)

Best Line: “We’re going to play a fun game. It’s called ‘Spot the Nobel Prize Winner.’” — Princeton tour guide, making us nerd-giggle at the beginning of the film. Also, we enjoyed when Tina Fey went to Paul Rudd's hippie school and got dressed down by his Extremely Argumentative & Socially Conscious students, and managed to retort that, GOSH, IN ORDER TO CHANGE THE WORLD, REGRETTABLY, SOME OF THEM MIGHT NEED A COLLEGE DEGREE.

Worst Line: This movie was relatively self-aware and basically fine, for what it was. We didn’t groan at anything specifically.

Highlights of the Watching Experience: "Wait, have I seen this movie? ...Or have I just been to this house??" -- Kat, when Tina Fey first walked into Lily Tomlin's bicycle-filled, plant-filled, New-England-hippie home. Alex: "Girl, we have both been to this house."

How Many POC in the Film: Paul Rudd has a tween son (adopted from Uganda) that, whoops, we did not mention once in the plot summary, but who is actually a fairly major character that we enjoyed. Also, Tina Fey's main admissions-office rival is a woman of color. Those were the big ones. To be fair, it was semi-rural New England/Princeton. #white AF #we would know

Alternate Scenes: Well... It's not like we loved this film, but it did not actively offend us. We probably could not be bothered to change anything about it. We did find it slightly implausible how “rootless and impulsive” Paul Rudd apparently was. He does usually seem like he'd be the other person in that argument, if you know what we mean.

Was the Poster Better or Worse than the Film: Worse? The poster, while slightly funny, makes Paul Rudd appear even more uncouth in his choices than he actually is. Also, it needs punctuation.

Score: 6 out of 10 highly selective smooches. Look, we should clarify. This was not a great romcom. It was, like, fine. It was inoffensive. The premise is a bit weird. The movie is mostly about Tina Fey. It's kind of funny...sometimes…? We perhaps got particular enjoyment out of this film for personal reasons. #new england #privilege #nothing could be more familiar to us than this collection of well-meaning, miscellaneously wealthy white people who love sailing and/or trees and/or slightly tone-deafly helping the poor

Ranking: 47, out of the 148 movies we’ve seen so far. Welcome to the top 50, Admission! Boy, was that unexpected. (If you are not from this very specific world that we are from, we do not recommend this film. Just to be clear.)

[penelope-and-wonders]

Replies

@igglemouse replied to your photoset:

Ahhh my favorite mustache T_T

The Sisterhood of Eternal Mustache of Luke just got the honorary member ♥

@romeo-and-simulet replied to your photoset:

professor Broccoli?

Well, originally they were Professor Bracaloni, but I decided it would be funny if Ferns mispronounced it :D

@shaysugar replied to your photoset:

I like this little detail of them doing chores/gardening together while having a casual talk. Really bring the reality in

I’m so happy you like it!!! Thank you!! ♥ I mean I always worry it’s not exciting enough but I never know how to go without ‘cause life kinda consists of moments like that, and they kinda determinate characters?? And make them whole?? I dunno, I’d miss them if I didn’t have them in my story, that’s for sure!

@shaysugar replied to your post:

Where do I sign? I'm in XD Mustaches for the win

There’s no formal signing in procedure actually. You just need to stand in the center of the biggest town square that is near you and yell ‘OH DEAR LORD I LOVE ME SOME GREAT MUSTACHE’. After that you may consider yourself signed in! If you also get yourself a husband/wife that day, the Sisterhood will take the credit xD

@shaysugar replied to your post:

pretty sure a lot of that skill comes from your journalism skills :D And age too, cuz that's what I realized after reaching 30s. Age is wisdom

Well yeah, actually I agree with you. My studies gave me a lot. I know it’s kind of popular to say that Uni gives you nothing, well at least in Russia it’s quite popular, but I think Uni gives you as much as you want to take. As for the wisdom, yeah. Being 30 I’m totally different person from being 25. A went through a lot of changes during that period of my life, and I grew a lot. I actually love being 30. I didn’t love being 14 or 20, although I enjoyed those years. But now I know I love my age.

@shaysugar replied to your post:

^yes! And I didn't even know that until Luke was stached

That clearly was Providence that told me to stache him! :D

@tinwhistletoo replied to your photoset:

Just chillin' with her dad!:)

With her dad and his mustache, hehe! I’m sorry. I had to do this... xD

@tinwhistletoo replied to your post:

Support groups?? I haven't gotten the memo! I need one of those support groups!!

Why would you need a support group? It’s me who needs a support group considering what you do with me with your stories! T_T We need something like Anonymous Tinwhistletoo Readers. Hello, my name is Daria, and I follow Jana on Tumblr.

@tinwhistletoo replied to your photoset:

I love Ocean!!:)

And I love you ♥

@tinwhistletoo replied to your photoset:

Oh! Oops! Misread it - it's Ronk!!!

Why are you laughing at ‘Ronk’? It’s very masculine to my ears! Do you Swiss people call something of interest ‘a ronk’? Genitals maybe? Do tell me the truth please :p

@neopixiesims replied to your photoset:

Didn't know Luke likes soaps

He doesn’t! He’s just spending time with his daughter who likes soaps. He doesn’t even realize she’s watching a show, hehe!

@neopixiesims replied to your post:

WHO THE EFF WAS SENDING YOU HATE?!

LOL, Nicks, that was anon hate, how do I know who did it? If I did, it would ruin the anonymity of the thing xD It would ruin the whole  concept xD Oh! I Know! I found the way to ruin anon hate now!!!

@neopixiesims replied to your post:

1big 1 small... that's what she said

Err... I don’t get it?? It’s like there are two penises around, one big and one small? xD

@neopixiesims replied to your post:

Soooo you do like staches....

Danny mustache too. Don't forget Dan the stache man

I do love Luke’s stache. I do love you despite us being apart, and over, and all this shit. I do not like Danny’s stache. Whatever you say, whatever Jules says, Danny was and always will be a soulless commercial slut to me. Nothing will change that. Nothing. Even the plushie. Even the drama man. Although... drama man may be able to change it ‘cause he’s all-powerful!

@oakglow replied to your post:

Yes! Fayce! I knew it would stick ����(fern and jayce emojis)

Yeah! Originally, we had two option, ‘Fayce’ and ‘Jern’, but everybody liked ‘Fayce’ more. I liked ‘Jern’ better though ‘cause I associated it with ‘gems’, but Fayce won so I fell in love with it ‘cause I always fall in love with the option I have ‘cause this is the way of enjoying life and not being sad about it being all wrong LMAO

@simsomedia replied to your post:

Dude no one sends sunshine hate. If you do I will beat you. Just no, not my sunshine.

You know what? I thought about it and realized that maybe it wasn’t that bad?? I mean, I’m thirty, I’m quite mature to know this hate won’t affect me if I don’t let it affect me, but at the same time this person who sends this hate has to feel some relief from all the hate they feel so I kinda help them feel better?? Although I have to admit, that’s awful and really sad when you need to send someone hate to feel better :(

@furiouslydecaffinated replied to your photoset:

I loooooove them!

And I love Emilia and Yulian T_T Please, don’t hurt my babies T_T

@neutralsupply replied to your photoset:

Yas Nutella the Argyles know what's up

I was one of those who “don’t love” Nutella... Then I got myself a jar and stopped to lie to myself...

@neutralsupply replied to your post:

You have a thing for a lot of things Daria

YES! This state of mind’s called ‘joie de vivre’! :p

@neutralsupply replied to your post:

3 small posts means I can like them THREE TIMES AS MUCH!! Yeeeeeey MORE LOVE FOR DARIA!! ❤️❤️

That is because Zina is generous and gives Daria a lot of love, but there are stingy people that rather give one love instead of three loves. Three loves! Can you imagine?? You give three loves away, and it feels like you are out of love now!

@simwithsparkles replied to your photoset:

I think he will definitely charm her!!

I dunno, he still has this bad boy look... Plus, he hasn't had a lot of experience with moms that are not drunk or high... Meaning I haven't actually decided on Ocean’s attitude toward Jayce yet LOL

@simwithsparkles replied to your post:

You are magical to me!! ❤

This is great 'cause you 100% magical to me!!! ♥

@buckleysimss replied to your post:

I adore your replies. You're always so thoughtful and sincere in what you say. ♥

OMG, thank you so much for saying this! I never knew what to say to people who didn’t know me from when I was like five. I mean what do you say to people that are nice to you, and you care for them but there are no years and years of common memories and togetherness between you? And then one day I realized that for some reason people are okay with me just expressing myself, you know? They also seem to be interested in weird stuff I’m saying like for example why do you think all aliens are bald and not furry, I mean Alf was furry? I mean sometimes they look at me like I’m a bit crazy but that’s not a bad look, that’s like, oh how sweet this crazy person is xD

@buckleysims replied to your post:

I would join! I am always hungry, and I really like muffins. And mustaches. ;)

You know what? I just realized how one can promote mustache as a new world trend! You just need to make a co-promotion for mustaches and muffins! It would be a fun bundle to sell to audience!

@simmingswimmingly replied to your photoset:

Best mom award goes to Ocean

Or maybe she’s so good, and calm, and kind because she hasn’t actually met Jayce yet? Who knows what’s coming for them? Not me, that’s for sure xD

@cowardlypixels replied to your post:

i got fun parent!

Congrats! That’s a good one! May a be your kid? ‘Cause I’m not sure if I want to be my own kid LOL

@authenticdragontears replied to your post:

Lmao I got relaxed parent!

LOL This one is interesting! I wonder if it’s even possible to be a relaxed parent? I can’t even imagine it but hey, I am a strict one after all xD

@authenticdragontears replied to your photoset:

That is absolutely gorgeous, awe-inspiring! Can I live there??

In which capacity, my dear? It’s Fern’s house after all xD

@simlishanddreams replied to your post:

You're so mean! LOL just wait till your toddler decides to chomp down on a sibling.

Hey, lady! I’m not mean, I’m strict, there’s a difference! LMAO

@simcataris replied to your post:

COF don't we all have a thing for daddies?? COF

Surprisingly not, not all of us! But I’m glad we are on the same page here :D

@eslanes replied to your post:

Oh god yes! I think giving a stache had the opposite effect!

I’m afraid some heretics still aren’t on our side... But I assure you, it’s the question of time, they will find the right way, the way towards Luke’s Stache... :D

@eslanes replied to your post:

Um I disagree, your stories are the best!

Thank you so much, sweetie!! I really really like your story too!! ♥ ♥ ♥

@eslanes replied to your photoset:

I completely approve of the misbehaving

But of course you do, my little rebel :p

@tabbyrh replied to your post:

Honestly I'm such a big fan of your writing that I'll read however you post. Sorry I know that's not helpful but it's true!

OMG, thank you so much, Tabby! Your words make me so happy!!! I mean it means a lot to hear a compliment from such an experience writer as you!!! Thank you, sweetie!

@mdianasanders replied to your post:

Short/small. I tend to skip long posts and think I'll read them later, but in practice I never do (I would make an exception for you though)

I’m blushing like crazy now!!! Thank you for doing an exception for me ♥ Being an exception is one of the most pleasant thing in life, hehe ♥

@josiesimblr replied to your post:

I think you're such a compelling writer, either choice would make your readers happy! But I prefer one long big post, I feel it keeps the flow smoother and is more coherent than small posts where you kinda have to backtrack to catch up. But I do like to see my fave Simblrs post frequently, so there's that lol.

You called me a compelling writer, I’m cryinggggg T_T What? Why? How? No one ever called me a completing writer! It feels like it’s the best complement ever!!! Thank you so much!!! And I agree with you, that is exactly why I find long post more comfortable?? suitable?? for storytelling.

[comicteaparty]

March 7th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on March 7th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on 2 for Joy by Abi Watson.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing 2 for Joy by Abi Watson~! (https://tapas.io/series/2-for-joy)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

i think at the moment that my fave scene is when art goes to the library. cause before the comic possibly toed the line about whether everything was conspiracy or coincidence. and thats the scene that says "nope conspiracy." i just also found it to be this really tense scene cause of the librarians talking about art like he was some super threat. which brave to making an activity like visiting library archives seem test. overall though, the part i like best is that it still leaves the question of what the one librarian guarding the archives wouldve done had art's rouse come to light

Superjustinbros

Ello~!

I have returned

RebelVampire

hey super~!

mathtans

I'm... kinda here for now. I did like the library scene, the librarian conspiracy was interesting.

Superjustinbros

https://tapas.io/episode/1159441

mathtans

I liked the cast moment there too, for the amusement value.

(Which arm was it? Whoa hoa...)

RebelVampire

yeah the cast moment was great, partly cause i was no expecting this random moment of humor to roll up

mathtans

As to my fave scene though, I think interestingly I'll need to go with the nametag thing. Because it was just kind of funny at the time, but had some significance later, with the gender change thing, and the not wanting to get him a new tag. Also explains (kind of) why he wears it upside-down.

Superjustinbros

It also gave me flashbacks to when I broke some fingers on one of my hands and had to go into a cast for about a month

back in middle school

mathtans

Ouch. I've never actually needed a cast for anything.

Also, maybe Tec is just waiting for the cast to heal before the fight, humm.

Superjustinbros

Yeah it was not pleasant. I'd go into detail about it more but this is a CTP

RebelVampire

yeah i really liked that on the side the nametag was made to be more relevant. it wasnt just some quirky character thing. which i mean the latter wouldve been fine, but i just like the element that these are characters who have been living their lives without art and the town didnt suddenly exist again just cause art showed up

https://tapas.io/episode/1121842 less a scene but i also really enjoy this page because of all the character reactions. like you got the whole circus of emotions going on and it conveys so much without needing any sort of dialogue

Superjustinbros

https://tapas.io/episode/1128546 and this one two pages later

mathtans

Also weird how Jack's name has dual significance.

Superjustinbros

"it means that makes a liar"

mathtans

I see what you mean there. (I'm not always good at picking up on artistic choices.)

RebelVampire

yeah. although that has gotta kind of suck. i mean i wouldnt want to find out a person i was named after was actually dead and i was just never told XD

Superjustinbros

https://tapas.io/episode/1296840 The latest bit also sparked my interests

RebelVampire

tbh, mike is probably just dumb/evil and not a liar. cause i severely raised an eyebrow to anyone who thinks they can cull birds from an area and theyll just never ever come back even for a short period of time

i really love art's dumb conspiracy journal

i am jealous and want one

Superjustinbros

yus

RebelVampire

but also someone needs to teach jack journalism does not actually involve journals XD

mathtans

Yeah, I don't think Mike's really got it out for anyone though. Maybe he's related to the librarians.

Art draws pretty well. He makes... art.

RebelVampire

an unfortunate nickname well suited to puns

Superjustinbros

"What did you name your son?" "Art"

"Is that really his name?" "No it's just a nickname he likes."

RebelVampire

but i really like how the journal shows art's thought processes and everything. like its a great way to build character without art smacking you with dialogue to put you in his head

Superjustinbros

lol

I never actually thought of that- to give a character a journal

and just have them jot down in it every once in a while

and show you what they write/doodle

mathtans

That's a good point. A little window into his view of the plot.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. One of the central features of the story is the vast conspiracy that seems to haunt Art’s hometown. Are the birds truly leading Art somewhere, or are they really just a coincidence? If the former, where are they leading Art to? Why were all the magpies culled and what does this have to do with murders and supposed cults? What was the one librarian scared of Art finding in the archives? Why is the other librarian willing to help Art? What does all this have to do with the forest and the various people who have gone missing in it? How do you think everything connects in general?

I think the birds are leading Art somewhere but im skeptical theyre actually birds. Cause conveniently nobody but Art sees them UNTIL Alice and Jack get involved. And then suddenly cause theyre part of the plot they can see them. So I kind of wonder if they arent birds but supernatural entities that look like birds

mathtans

I feel like that title "2 for joy" has something to it; I've never heard of the saying (rhyme?) before about the magpies, but there was a reference made. So turning it around, you need to have two people or the birds will get you.

Ohh, that's an interesting theory. I like it.

Maybe the missing people got turned into birds.

Superjustinbros

and then the birds haunt more people

and turn them into birds

it's how they spread

RebelVampire

thats an interesting idea. or more optimistically the birds are trying to lead art to a cure

mathtans

A cure for what though? He's not sick.

RebelVampire

actually if this was true itd explain why jack kind of got dragged in

one of those birds is his uncle

mathtans

Or a cure for the thing that turns the eyes white?

RebelVampire

i meant a cure for them

to be not birds

mathtans

Ohh, now I'm with you.

The librarians also used to be birds. That's why they're in on the conspiracy, they don't want to have to be birds again.

RebelVampire

the family secrets that cant be told are that art was patient 0 and really a ghost bird all along

on a more serious guess, maybe theyre leading art to ground zero though. like assuming there is supernatural stuff at work, when things like whats going on in the town happen, theres usually like an origin point. like a pentagram in the woods though probably not that.

mathtans

That's why they saved his life!

Superjustinbros

Good thinking.

mathtans

Maybe, could be something silver, what with the bird connection.

RebelVampire

arent magpies the ones who like shiny stuff?

mathtans

I think so? I don't know much about birds.

RebelVampire

google tells me yes but that this is a myth

and that scientifically them stealing the shiny things is not backed up by dedicated observation and testing

https://tenor.com/view/themoreyouknow-star-rainbowstreak-nbc-gif-4884642

which now leaves me torn cause i was gonna guess that theyre just leading art to their silver pile of treasure

mathtans

As Jack said, the true treasure was the friends they made along the way.

RebelVampire

ya know, given the title, that is probably all that matters

that through their quest theyre going to find joy

mathtans

And Joy will be the wife of that guy who was blamed for all the murders?

(Seriously though, it's interesting how deep the rabbit hole seems to go.)

Actually, now that I think of it, there was an X-Files reference too. Possibly just in the author's notes though.

RebelVampire

ya know

i would not be surprised if the wife's name did turn out to be joy

although id also find that kind of funny

mathtans

(off to crib)

RebelVampire

aside from birds though, im turning my attention to the archives. cause from the convo i gathered that besides other things, there were things with births and deaths art wasnt supposed to find? and given the one extra side page, i really wonder if it has to do with art's birth since hes adopted

(good luck)

RebelVampire

but maybe i misread the conversation. i mean maybe theyre just trying to cover up exactly how many people have gone missing in the forest. cause its too shameful or a high risk for crashing that small town tourism cash cow

or theyre trying to cover up the fact that the cult is still sort of active and something in the archives proves how deep the cult runs

mathtans

(back-ish) Yeah, I noticed the adoption thing and wondered briefly about it.

You think maybe the "murders" were just lots of missing people?

Superjustinbros

Yeah I wouldn't want that getting out inot the public

mathtans

A birb cult.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. In the recent pages, Jack and Art have decided they need to go into the forest and look around. What do you think will happen to the two while in the forest? Will they see more birds? Will the silver compass come into play? Do you think the two will be in danger considering the possessions that seem to have occurred to certain individuals? In regards to the conspiracy, what answers do you think the two might find directly in the forest? Lastly, do you think going into the forest will have other consequences? What if members of the town find out about their little expedition? What about Alice?

and it could be. that there are less murders than we think and everyone is just missing.

i do think the adoption thing is significant

Superjustinbros

more birds definitely

RebelVampire

i think what will happen in the forest is theyll get jumpscared a lot but then learn nothing. outside of the forest is spooky af. although i also think theyre gonna find something they dont think is significant until later and theyre like "le gasp signs of the missing ppl"

Superjustinbros

"forests are spooky"

the moral of the story

mathtans

(back-ish again) I wonder if going into the woods will cause a replay of the Hec stuff. Like Jack will have his eyes go white and try to beat up Art and then won't remember about it. Could put their relationship on the rocks a bit.

Or jumpscares with birds.

RebelVampire

tbh i actually assume if that were to happen alice would be the more likely possession target

like shell show up

scold

suddenly rolled back eyes

beat art up

mathtans

Ooooh. That'd definitely shake up the character dynamics. I wonder if the birds tried to talk to her first, but she didn't listen? Since she also left town for a while.

RebelVampire

maybe. although now im wondering how she and art both happen to coincientally be back in town. like we know kind of why art is there. but alice too seems a huge coincidence in a story where coincidences are actually conspiracies

mathtans

Hmmmm. Maybe she's not really there? Has anyone other than Art and Jack mentioned actually seeing Alice?

Maybe she's Jack's guardian angel or something in disguise.

RebelVampire

im trying

to recall a moment

i mean shes gone half the time and not able to interact with outside ppl

there was the one scene where theyre all eating together

but i dont remember if any outside person approached them

mathtans

Did Mike comment on her though? Because she only turned up when Art admitted to Jack that he was waiting for her.

(Is she a bird? Man, I can't tell if my conspiracy theories are totally crazy or not.)

RebelVampire

the only reference mike makes is later on when hes scolding jack and ask if its going to become another summer where he ignores customers to gossip with his "little friends"

so specifically plural

BUT

the context does not imply that there has to be multiple

more like the implication that more friends could show up even tho just the one is there

so it could go either or

mathtans

Indeeeed.

Oh, wait! The guy in the compass shop. He saw her, in the hat.

Mustache man... maybe he's in on it?

RebelVampire

darn it compass guy

mathtans

(Nice subtle detail in that scene by the way, him not recognizing Jack after the transition.)

RebelVampire

ruining our good alice isnt there theory

mathtans

Heh.

Alice and Art do prove that you can leave the town without just vanishing then.

RebelVampire

yes. until the town pulls you back

by crashing your car

i think jack and art going into the forest is going to attract unwanted town attention

i can hear that one librarian now going "i told you he was up to something!"

mathtans

They went swimming without incident though. As long as they play it off as camping or whatever, who would care.

RebelVampire

suspicious librarians

thats who would care

"They just went swimming who goes swimming that much they must be suspicious!"

mathtans

I wonder what the librarians do in their off hours.

Superjustinbros

sme tbh

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Among the conspiracies are a lot of emotional conflicts and changing relationships. Do you think Art and Jack’s flirting will go anywhere? Whether it does or not, how might their investigations and the revealing of certain secrets affect how they view each other? How might it change Art’s relationship with Alice given Alice is reluctant to buy into the conspiracies as much as Art or Jack? Also, how will learning more help or hurt Art’s ability to deal with Hec? Do you think Hec is in on the conspiracy or is Jack right and Hec just wants to fight? Lastly, why do you think Art was the one targeted by the birds, and how does Jack play into the ultimate roles that the supernatural events seem to have intended for them? How might Jack’s missing uncle come into play and change how Jack deals with the situation?

the nice librarian goes home and reads books. the mean one is obviously part of HOA and the neighborhood watch

mathtans

Related to the relationship stuff, it's nice how the gay angle was put in as a sidebar, just a statement of fact. I wonder a little bit if younger Art had a thing for Hec, which is partly why he sees the best in the guy.

Related to the bird stuff, the second appearance of the birds related to a baby. Not sure how that fits in.

Superjustinbros

i was surprised to see the gay comment, I'll admit

did Art drop that fact earlier on in the story?

mathtans

Yeah, when it was the four birds for Jack I think.

RebelVampire

yeah its pretty super early on

like not first page

but very early

Superjustinbros

aye

mathtans

Like maybe birth as the opposite of death? :/

RebelVampire

i worried it meant the baby was gonna die tbh XD

mathtans

Oooh, super serious.

RebelVampire

mostly cause so far the birds have an omen sort of tone and omens arent good

and they caused art to crash his car

soooo

Superjustinbros

and put him in a cast?

mathtans

But he was going to crash anyway, right?

RebelVampire

maybe? i mean art says the birds saved his life or something but that doesnt mean thats the objective fact of what happened

mathtans

Art and Jack seem destined to get together though, after the bit with Hec in the alley.

True. Wishful thinking?

RebelVampire

i do think in this case maybe

at the very least i dont think alice and jack are wrong in thinking some of this bird thing is about art kind of not coping with what happened

cause i def dont think art is dealing with it and that even though something is going on, hes also using it as a distraction

cause both can be true

maybe this comic is just the labyrinth and the birds are gonna spirit the baby away to turn it into a troll

mathtans

The baby is really Art. It's all time travel. He takes the baby back and gets himself adopted.

RebelVampire

so does that make the librarians the time police?

Superjustinbros

...That would be a pretty epic twist(edited)

mathtans

One of them is a grown up Jughead.

As to why Art was targeted, maybe Art has unfinished business in town.

RebelVampire

well id say hec is unfinished business. although maybe thats why. that art encountered the supernatural and lived to tell the tale and didnt disappear in the forest

so that proves he has magical supernatural immunity

mathtans

Oh, immunity, that's an interesting idea. Maybe it's because he was adopted and didn't grow up in town or something?

Maybe everyone has silver poisoning.

Superjustinbros

Oooooooooo

mathtans

Can that make your eyes go white?

RebelVampire

art is just the chosen one

idk

lets see

mathtans

I hope the Art and Jack thing works out. Art needs some grins in his life, and I gather the transition wasn't easy for Jack either.

RebelVampire

“Silver poisoning, medically termed argyria, causes ashen gray discoloration of the skin (and other tissues of the body).”

thats what the first result tells me

i think itll work out just cause its called 2 for joy and theyre the ones in all the banners

and they do seem to be mutually attracted to each other. although i do wonder if they solve the conspiracy if that will remain

mathtans

That's true... maybe the two of them will adopt a baby, whence the "2 for joy" relates to the birds too?

I suppose the specific species of bird is related too, but I don't know from specifics.

The real conspiracy, of course, is how that diner manages to have the best pancakes in town.

Superjustinbros

That'd be cute, just sayin

(or a young child)

RebelVampire

i liked the bit where jack was criticizing alice for making up ppl

but then art joins in

with an even more ridiculous chain

mathtans

Yeah, that helps to show the sibling angle too.

Superjustinbros

I guess since there's only a few minutes left, I'd like to take the time to say good luck to abi on getting this story worked on, it's looking great so far.

mathtans

Yeah, the characters are interesting along with the plot, like I don't think I've ever seen this sort of mix before.

Superjustinbros

Well said.

mathtans

Hope they bring pancakes into the woods to appease the birds.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Abi Watson, as well, for making 2 for Joy. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Abi Watson’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/2-for-joy

Abi Watson’s Redbubble Shop: https://www.redbubble.com/people/abiwatson

Abi Watson’s Society 6 Shop: https://society6.com/abiwatsonillustration/s?q=new

Abi Watson’s Gumroad Shop: https://gumroad.com/abiwatson

Abi Watson’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/abiwatsonart?lang=en

[tssfhr-blog]

[C-1 / M-18] Text One

i tried to write a short bio about myself and my music project

but

Bio

Kharkiv

13

too yolo for being a DJ

ambient, noise

Weaponized naivness, helpless attack

Kanye West, PJ Harvey

Bee Pole EP

Pure EP

Love LP

NII, Powerhouse, Plivka, Zhyvot

A/V

CHSZM - experimental electronic project of Aleksei Podat, based in Kharkiv, Ukraine. Started producing music at the age of 13 after being an EDM DJ at St. Petersburg pirate radiostation for 2 years.

Now he creates melodic noise which he describes as sound of “pure naviete weaponized by haunting helplessness of logic&QUITE-EMOTIONAL-APPROACH-TO-ANYTHING&O - V - E -R -R RE-ACTING"T[M]. His greatest influences were Kanye West and PJ Harvey, as for now among them appeared some Kyiv(NO)-meta-based artists like (Ivan Skoryna) - is - (actual artist name) John Object, and Moscow (Still-NO;still-meta) based media-artists AWN-naw

(wowww, an artist doesn’t have a PAGE, HOW’S THAT, MR. Цукерберг, Марк, Mr TAG EVERYONE ON EVERY BIT OF YOUR tinyDaATa ttmmm] soundcloud.com/awn_naw

so: and Zurkas Tepla

[the..articles are so difficult, I know how journalists may feel, sometimes, about posting a klikByte-headed material about poverty, war, or numerous G20 Ideologic rave party, I AM CHARLIE, CHARLIE SHEEN CAUGHT ROBBING WALLtm-MART NEAR THE FREEDOM ST., BUT luckily, the casser worker! had called the police last night, when they! heard some "sounds of (violent) noise.. haha great my friend got a vynil of this, which i have no possibility to actually hear, my sounds of noise are shaped by the bloodstream of mine and the clone of Mine[tm] who hopes, i hust buy it as fast as he could be tauht, at their trial lol trial, you have noone to feed, don’t you, family-less, dropped out of nowhere worker huhhh]

NEXT PARAGRAPH is/was/will be ABOUT - ( WHINNING ABIOUT UKRAINIAN BANK ACCOUNTS NOT ACCEPTING BANDCAMP TRANSACTIONS TRHOUIG PAY PAL DAM)….

I GOTTA MAKE THOSE FUCKING CASSETTES NOBODY REALLY NEADS, EXCEPT ONE ( you are dramqueened, lolll) Ph.D of USA University, which i respect, for the interest in New East culture. [I’d like them to show me. where’s the new east, so i could finally show em the old one]

Me Respect Professos, what’s wrong with that huh?)))), I am studying at Karazin University, I AM studying political sciences, without a bit of post-truth politics, just post-truth patriot-oriented education, it’s quite depressing. (UBA - shorter, smarter look, more modern than the actual modern term Ukrainian Bank Accounts, and it sounds like UBER, like not the taxi service, which robs every piece of his stuff, including the clever-auto-routed-cars. of course. If they are clever, they are good enough to be credited as stuff, AND BE TAKEN SERIOUS SUPPOSEDLY I GUESS MAYBE i don’t kno, tho, lo ve16/03/18 first LP has been self-released you kno, i gottaa promote it, and i do my best at it, since i left label with audience in Facebook of 3k people - next kp - k people, not k-pop,; Soundcloud like 7+kp (non k-pop also, they don’t even use it, u must be kidding, kidDO - kidDO - essential mobile app just for YOUR smartphone, to get you a proper kid. Look at you(r,) "kid” and look at “kidDO"TM!!! - exclamaiton marks are here to gain psychical pressure on our deer, hi that’s was bad jokey…like your kiddo, dear, dear, very dear, and precious customers, not to exclaim that we have registered this trademark with absolutely obvious "misunderstandings” with law, and fully understanding with the power….forces..FORCES OF POWER, OF

LOVE,

U

KNO, TO OUR CUSTOMERS…so, not to seem a little bit weird but I don’t feel lonely, I have a great support of my family and friends, I sometimes do just awful things to them, like…idk…being an artist with great not only the creative potential, but a POT(i’d smoke this sh1t on 3v3ryday bas1s in case I would have agreed on following the path of using potential #2, it’d be weird if i liked a chance to be a person like in example NUMBER TWO, u kno, TWO, 2, LOSER, FUCKING LOOSER,) ential of sitting my ass out near shitty PC on windows XP (Mhhmhmm, safety, in Ukrainian IT companies… is quite interesting quiestion, wee(d) n(w)eed to look at it from different perspectives, different angles…) (actually i do the same at my dorm, or at mama-house(TM haha, no, sry, i’m not THAT misogynistic human being, to EVEN Imagine™ my mother, as a woman, first of all (fck offff my “i-understood-Freud-wrong-but-1-read-it-ironically-so-fuckk-you”-mates, I understand these great postmod(ern)(ehhh)(snobbyy)(but i like it) possibilities that came out as a pale garbage, like from the corpse, the corpse of a most pale kidDO (of course if our company be mistakeyy just a lil bit, like “oops”), as soon as you got a thought in you head like “Oh, over-using (that small dash as a reminder - if you misread oversueing somehow, goto "mylawyer” and think a bit once, than a little bit more, and than turn your MINDPOWER [LP3, 2026 new demos never, I know, I’m a bit of paranoid about showing my stuff to anonymouses like ISIS or Presidents, like very very bad presidents, like, I even don’t kno who to mention, but you’ve got the point, they could rip off my MASTERPOWER [LP0 It was already released, and you are not talanted in googling enough to find it eat my t-shirts, to be more accurate, not shirts, i’m not that “kid” if he could be reffered like this too, since 29 years of struggle through average mid-class family “oopsey-woopseys”, Hey, CC [NoN-creative-commoned-Comedy-Central, so “™”], wanna see an episode dated 1999 where Bart SimpsonS, using his MINDPOWER, obviously"TM", becomes a high-school breakbit-techno-house-electro DJ BioSex [in reversed order, please, mix, but do not shake, please, to make a cocktail which our modern “underground electroni#css” music scene like really deserves

ADVERTPERVERT ROUBRIQUE [le]

Fill a collins glass with ice. Add tequila and midori, fill rest of glass with sour mix, and garnish with an orange slice and a cherry. Then drink it by yourself if you truly believe, that you are great at mixing 4/4 tracks, OH GOSH HOW MEAN I AM, I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MEAN TO A PERSON WHO JUST MAKES A LIVING ON DOING EVERYTHING HE WANTS, LIKE VINYLL FLIP-FLOPS, AND CD’S CHANGINGGGG [REALLY HOT DOWN HERE, YOU NOW, HEATING IS GOING LIKE SHUSH, ITS JUST SO HOT UNDER THE DJ TABLE FUCK IT, IKEA, YOU GOTTA DO SMTH WITH IT]..sorry,..fck, almost forgot about this phoney thingy [IKEAtm - more than trade, more than marks, IKEA rules, here are scandinavian workers tired sparks (around head) (from amusement, how GOOD, it TASTES, to eat CHICKEN, at the TABLE, you know you PRODUCED, but you DON’T CARE [mArXXXattention - marxists fukof, i know i’m using some kind of “not really accurate” info!! about your DAD’S BOOK, i’m sorry, I never gonna touch it again, I promise, peace] [Fuck xxxtentaciwho, i don’t stand public image of a talented musician to be spoiled with so fucked up facts, like beating someone for a long time, or having sex with a person against their will, and that’s not a joke. Pretty sad that talented freshmen will never be a talented human being for me, but he still is for someone, and those are might be fucked up as hell also, not as much as a person, who fucks another with a fork, or other objects [even if he does it in postmod, that’s cruel to kids, think about what happend to WW2 kids, and X it on the quantity of eyes that never seen the damn piece of war [lucky ones, would be like to feel a bit like that] [i’m lucky too, but not that much, you kno, “Sloviansk"TM, or how it frequently was trasliterated from "local-pronounciation” - Slavinsk [CC license] - [src: telegraph.co.uk/…/Donetsk-police-chief-forced-out-as-Ukrain…, BTW! using a chance of such a productivity FUCK Telegraph, and probably fUcK BBC News [can’t find a source, but i remember this LE GOOGLE-LESS JOURNALIST REPORTAGE for not having a MINDPOWER, and what’s more important, for them, as professionals, of “dividing"TM "bad people"TM and "good people"TM - a MASTERPOWER ability. Purchase Love LP. LP is for Pl which is for [sorry, my polish friends, and people who don’t understand slavic-english-writing-stYLO [stereotype], sorry, I’m very very sorry, that IT HAPPENED[TM], yeas, Pl - which is for Please! Sorry! I admit, I took you to the really dark place, but I Love you, and I really want you to survive. [really enjoying’ my time with those funny Latin letters, playing with them, omg, i don’t even kno what doessss the DAMN.[really liked it, but TPAB was way better, please take a note, Kendrick, i’m your fan for 3 yrs, my opinion weighs smth, huh? I don’t even have fans which are able to notice when i delete a bunch of my “First Relaeses” from bandcamp. That’s for good, actually, I’d like not to get any messages containg things like “Hei Aleksei! Your first release Ножові was great and thought-provoking, and your last LP called..let me think, Laugh? Life? Ah, I remembered it’s called] half of my words mean

And yeah

Love / OUT NOW

CHSZM - noise music project of Kharkiv based media-artist Aleksei Podat.

Hometown: Sloviansk

Birthdate: 25/08/1996

gosh, i got these voices sequenced to 4/4 again, moom. I need a PROFESSIONAL HERE

if you got some psychologist help to advice, i’d be shy, but greatful

__________________________________________________________

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