#i just feel horrible. i know in the past they've mentioned too how they want people to tell them why if they unfollow/block them

[sureuncertainty]

at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/

[roblogging]

i've spent a lot of the past 24 hours talking to various trans people in the fandom that reposted or dmed me about this video and i'm gonna yap here under the cut about it.

(i'm not a spokesperson for trans people obviously, and i don't mean to lead these discussions. i know i've had a lot of them recently but yeah it's been rough, i just thought this was interesting to share and can hopefully share a lil of how people are feeling.)

i've always assumed that the hate that i've received on my account was because of me? i post videos talking about discourses, i'm open about ships i like that are generally hated, etc etc, i've just assumed it was a me thing.

but then when people are mad about those things, it more often than not comes to slurs. it's come to people debating my identity, questioning how much of a man i am when i wear makeup, posting me on reddit pages, throwing the words tranny and "she-man" around farrr too much, and i thought "isn't it heartbreaking that this is their first thought?"

so it gradually became less about me as an individual, and instead my identity. and just that these people are mean.

and i made that video from the perspective of someone who's already upset. who's had a lot of stuff like this happen and is Sad about it.

but i've spoken to 47 trans people that reached out to me themselves about this, and have so many more requests to get through, and not one has said that they feel safe and comfortable in this space. not a single one.

so i thought i'd share some of the things that were said (with permission and anonymously) because i think it's quite interesting to see what the issues are:

the MOST mentions goes toooo: the discourse about male characters - namely sirius - wearing makeup and the way gender norms become the forefront of this - makes them feel as though people dislike "unconventional trans people" as one person put it.

alongside this, the hate for trans characters - namely regulus - and how people get very mad about it "reinforcing heterosexuality" - do not feel recognised as the gender they are, feel as though people are viewing trans people as "fake men or women" - quote.

discourses surrounding height, hair, 'gender presentations' etc - brought up by a lot of people and they recognised that this is coming from a good place (not reinforcing heterosexuality) but feel as though the amount of focus put on it is disproportionate to the presence of it. copy and pasted quote: "I'm a 5 foot 2 trans man and feel like less of a man because of it"

profitting jkr: (obviously, because that's what the video was about) i want to add that nearly everyone said that they understand the desire to, and were receptive of the fact you don't know what goes on behind the scenes re: donating elsewhere etc, but said that they've felt less safe since the surge of posts about the reboot.

guilt. which makes me glad that i posted about that here a few days ago because i felt alone in this. a lot of the people i spoke to feel guilty for being here, and feel as though they can't claim that this fandom is inclusive anymore.

comment sections: brought up by a handful of people who said that not enough people delete horrible comments on posts - one said "even if they argue against them it just feels worse than deleting it", another said "obvs i can't ask people to delete them on their own account but it does suck that they dont think to" - every person that brought up comment sections said that they tend not to look at them now which makes them feel like an outsider in the fandom.

cosplays: brought up by four people and feels relevant to above points about "gender presentation" - said that unless you're cosplaying sirius, they nearly always have to delete comments saying something along the lines of "xyz wouldn't wear makeup". all of them said that they just feel nice in it and never meant it in a bad way.

scared to be loud: scared to post, especially with face. a few acknowledged that they are scared to do so anyway, but worry about it in this space as well. bolded this one because it makes me so sad, but having been put on reddit pages for saying pete was their friend, i get it.

and the final point, a copy and pasted line: "i dont want to be represented when it suits them and i don't want to be a box they tick when adding diversity to a fic and then cry in comments. i dont want performative support"

ALSO ADDING HERE:

nearly everyone (bar 7 people) that reached out to me acknowledged that this is a minority, and not the majority. they were very clear that it isn't their whole experience, but is an issue regardless. a lot of focus was put on curating your own space and finding people who do support you, but algorithms don't always make that possible, and it's difficult seeing it happen even if they don't interact.

which is,,, yeah. that's the crux of it really. most of the time it's fine and it's lovely and things like this don't happen, but they still do, and how do you feel like you can engage when you don't know what side it will get on?

which,,, sucks. because there's not really anything anyone can do then. it's just screaming into a void and hoping that you don't end up on the wrong sides.

but anyway, i thought it was interesting. especially the comment sections and the headcanon discourse - which truly, i see less of on tumblr anyway but for all of the above reasons, don't fancy discussing this on tiktok right now which is the epicentre of it.

but yeah. food for thought perchance, and some very good discussions !! thank you to anyone that messaged me and allowed me to write this, you're not screaming into a void with me 🫶🏻

[victorbutnotreally]

Scars - Lee Know x Male Reader

warnings: mentions of self harm, mentions of childhood abuse, mentions of depression

Scars.

Minho hated them on his body.

He felt like he was tainted or ruined.

And when something is ruined, you either destroy it, or hide it.

Minho does both.

He locks himself in the bathroom and glides his razor blade along his smooth skin, watching in tears as the blood trickles down. He hated it. He hated his body, and he hated what he does to it. He then uses foundation, or long sleeves to hide everything. He has more of them on his thighs. That's much easier to hide.

Why did he start doing this? Because he hated the scars from his childhood. He hated the scars his horrible family gave him. So he gives himself more scars. Sometimes, he feels like he deserves it…he feels like he deserved the abuse he went through and his self-hatred now.

He's done a great job at hiding the scars on his beautiful body, but it won't be so easy anymore now that he has a boyfriend. Mn. He's been dating Mn for a few weeks now, but they've known each other since they were trainees. He knows that his boyfriend wouldn't hate him or shame him for the scars, but part of him can't help but think he would. Part of him was afraid if Mn would leave him because of the scars. So he hid it.

Mn was aware of Minho's past, but he's never seen the scars. Minho always avoids the topic, so he decided to wait until Minho was comfortable. He wanted nothing more to hug his beloved and tell him he would always love him no matter what. But for now, Minho wasn't allowing it.

One day, Minho was in Mn's bedroom after a shower. He was covered only by the towel around his waist and he came to borrow one of his shirts since his were in the laundry. He loved wearing his boyfriend's clothes, since they were always so big and cozy. He had an adorable smile on his face as he takes a black shirt that said "Tell your cat I said pspsps" with a cat on it from Mn's drawer. And then he hears the door open.

Mn comes in to get his charger and he sees his boyfriend. he smiles but his eyes slightly widen as he sees the scars on Minho's body. Seeing that, Minho sets the shirt in the drawer and puts his hands over his chest.

"I..I'm sorry"

Mn was heartbroken to see his darling apologize for his scars. He takes a step forward and speaks in a soft tone.

"Why are you sorry, sweetheart?"

Minho begins tearing up. He hated himself. He hated that he couldn't be better for Mn.

"It's just- I'm hideous…I'm sorry I'm not beautiful..you deserv-"

His unnecessary string of apologies was cut off by Mn pressing his lips onto his. Their kiss was soft and tender, as if Mn was telling him how much he loved him without words. But he'd do it with words too..

His tall frame let him pull his boyfriend to his chest. Minho rested his head there. On the place he could feel loved. The one place he felt safe. His lips curve into a small, relieved smile as he listens to his boyfriend's steady heartbeat. If Mn was there, nothing would happen to him.

Mn had his hands on Minho's sides as he pulls away from the embrace. He wipes away a tear from his beloved's beautiful face.

"You're beautiful. Don't listen to anyone else or yourself when it comes to this. You're so goddamn beautiful. And I love you so much."

Mn leans down and gently kisses the scars on Minho's shoulders and back. He works his way down to his chest and stomach and then presses his lips onto every scar on his arms. Minho was taken aback. He knew that Mn would react like this, but that one part of him…the part that hated himself, was the most powerful. It made the poor boy think that Mn would hate him. But he was practically worshipping his body and treating his scars like they were strands of gold.

"Y-You're not mad?"

"Of course not, darling…don't ever think I'll be mad at you for this. I love you. I love everything about you."

Minho couldn't help but smile. There were still some tears on his face but Baek wiped them away. He gently picked his boyfriend up and put him on the bed and began kissing the scars on his thighs while whispering sweet nothings.

The world doesn't seem too bad for Minho.

If this was a war, he had an ally. A powerful one.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to babysit my nephews?

Before you judge me based on that, I know how bad it sounds - there is a lot of context behind it.

So, I'm 17 and in my last year of high school. My older sister, Hum, 23 and has two kids, both under the age of three. I have a younger sister too, CJ, who is 16.

(The father of Hum's kids is an asshole, which is why he is not mentioned. His family is the same.)

A few months back, around early November, Hum asked CJ to stay with her kids in the car while she went shopping for food (CJ has a boyfriend that lives semi-nearby that she usually stays with on weekends). Now I know that it sounds reasonable, but CJ later told me and our parents that Hum had borrowed money from her (100+) and is yet to pay her back.

Hum does not have a job, and gets money from the government to keep her and the boys healthy and happy (roughly 1100 per fortnight, with a varying payment each week). She often complains about being out of food or not having enough money to buy things that she needs, which I understand but whenever I stay with her she always has a cupboard and fridge full of food.

CJ said no, because she wanted to stay at her boyfriend's house and because it's common for Hum to take a long time to shop and get things that she doesn't actually need. This caused Hum to essentially blow up at her, calling her a slut and saying that CJ only ever comes around anymore when she gets something out of it (which is a lie. CJ has spent probably the most time with Hum and the boys just because she wanted to).

Now, my parents and Hum have always had a rocky relationship from when I was younger, enough so that Hum stopped living at home at roughly CJ's age. They've mended it in the past few years, but Hum does still occasionally argue with them or text them hurtful things.

When CJ told our parents about what Hum said to her, they confronted her about it. It eventually got into the family group chat, where I tried to calm the situation down by defending CJ (Hum proceeded to tell me to "get a dick") and stopped when our father told us to just go to sleep and stop interacting with Hum.

The next day she blocked all of us on everything, and the next time we heard from her again was around Christmas. We have a yearly lunch at my Gran's house, and we weren't sure if Hum was going to attend. She eventually did, and it was fairly civil.

She never formally apologised, as far as I know, but we're all on generally good terms now. During the school holidays just passed, Hum asked me on multiple occasions to come to her house and help take care of her kids for the night.

I used to do it often before the big fight, so the request wasn't unusual, but I still felt weird being around her due to what happened. Hum's told me about what happened at home when I was younger, but she also has a habit of blowing things out of proportion or lying/telling an exaggerated her side of events.

The most recent was a week or so ago, when Hum showed up at my house to take me to hers. I was not aware of this beforehand and tried to say no a few times before caving and going with her. Legally, she has to have a night away from the kids for her mental health, so it feels really bad to deny her that, even though I had holiday homework to catch up on that I intended to do.

Even though I have stayed with Hum for a lot of nights, I feel horrible about myself when I say no to her since I know that that's just how she is. I know that she's getting help for her BPD and trying to be better, but it's just uncomfortable for me to be around her sometimes.

And I love my nephews, but I am not mentally equipped to help take care of them very often. I suspect I have autism, and find it difficult to take care of myself sometimes, especially when I get frustrated (which is inevitable when taking care of a toddler and an almost-toddler). And I was very stressed at the time due to the upcoming school year, so my fuse was a lot shorter than usual.

What are these acronyms?

[cannibal-walleye]

@a-plethora-of-peters’ So Much for Stardust au has had me in a chokehold the past few days, so... ART! Fic link below (READ IT I say) as well as me talking about things

Ft. aliens Zed, Tango, and Impulse (still tweaking Imp design) and a very traumatized human Skizz

Warnings! Blood, scars, but also hugs n comfort :')

Fic Link:

So Much For Stardust - Chapter 1 - Cringe_Is_Dead (A_Plethora_Of_Peters) - Hermitcraft SMP [Archive of Our Own]

Quick summary for context, it follows human Skizz after he was abducted from earth by the "Defectors" and essentially tortured and treated like an animal before being rescued by space cops. Team ZIT is a group of scientists whose job is to determine how intelligent alien species are, and they're tasked with figuring it out for Skizz in order to know what crime the Defectors will be convicted of (were they poaching & murdering animals or people?). But they don't speak English, so good luck with that. And Skizz has trauma. :]

Now excuse me while I wax eloquent on random things about the art and the fic itself:

I don't think it's difficult to tell, but my favs are Impulse and Skizz lol. I don't usually like drawing them all so differently from their minecraft skins (especially Tango, in this case), but decided to just go all out making them look a lil alien and I think I went too far for Imp. Might redo, give him more skin instead of scales. Also, his clothes r just grey bc I couldn't figure out what colors to give that wouldn't clash horribly lmao.

Also in case you couldn't tell, I ADORE the hurt/comfort this fic has, the concept is so fascinating and just PERFECT for this kinda thing, the angst is delectable. It's the kind of fic where the longer you consider the scenario that Skizz is in, the more tragic and heartbreaking it gets, for everyone involved. I tried drawing a couple other hug/comfort scenes but scrapped them bc I didn't like how they turned out, might retry later.

As for the fic itself, I'm very excited to see where it goes, hanging on the edge of my seat. I only learned about it like 5 days ago and I think I've read it 3 times (AND ITS OVER 100k WORDS???), not to mention how I reread my favorite scenes over and over (chapter 10 ESPECIALLY, I tried to draw like 7 times but it was all hot garbage lol). I'm slightly worried but also itching to get to the climax they mentioned in the last update. I have a couple theories/ things I kinda want to happen.

First, they've mentioned a few times that ZIT doesn't have the data on what the Defectors actually did to Skizz, even though they should have had it from the start. This hints at 2 VERY juicy things, one, that they're being sabotaged. It seems the Defectors are trying to prevent ZIT from determining Skizz's sapience, and in the absolute worst-case scenario, I can see this going so far as them trying to hurt/kidnap/kill Skizz while he's under their protection, which would be just... evil >:))) and traumatizing. and scary. it would just be so juicy if they got separated after all this bonding and healing and growing love they got for each other. Idk if that's where it's going but we'll see. Second, they're already so devastated every day (especially Zed) by Skizz's obvious trauma and scars, breakdowns, triggers, etc, and they don't even know what happened. But if/when they do get their hands on that information, well... I imagine it'd absolutely break all three of them, to the point where they wouldn't even know what to do with Skizz, they'd feel incredibly guilty, angry, heartbroken, everything over him-- not to mention them becoming overwhelmingly protective over Skizz, wanting to just get retribution on the defectors, maybe break some bones, spill some blood, ya know. (PROTECTIVE IMPULSE PLEASEEEE). Meanwhile Skizz is just tryna eat gapples without hurling and narrowly avoiding panic attacks every time he sees Tango.

I could talk for hours about this, but I think that's enough for now lol. I shall continue to spin them around in my head for the next month, and you should too, I highly recommend.

[golden--doodler]

Linda's parents suck.

Like, really suck.

Definitely not an original thought in the slightest, but I feel like the way the show portrays Gloria and Al is really interesting. They're an example of abusive parents being portrayed in a more subtle, realistic way, which almost makes them feel even worse than if their portrayal was obvious and over-the-top.

Starting with Gloria, because she's definitely the worse of the two. She constantly gaslights Linda all the time, and never feels remorse about it, or even acknowledges her own behavior. The best example of this behavior is the Season 11 episode "The Terminalator II: Terminals of Endearment", where she literally forces Linda and the rest of the family to buy cream for Al, one that he doesn't even end up needing, mind you. The airport is also pretty far, so the drive over must've not been very fun (Bob has even stated on one occasion that it's difficult to drive for a long time with everyone because they all end up getting each other carsick).

Apparently, one time in the past, Gloria straight-up stole Linda's phone charger and refuses to admit she did it. Even when Bob is confronting her and becomes rightfully upset, she doesn't say anything about it. This leads to Linda saying that Gloria didn't do anything, even when the signs are extremely obvious that she did. And just in general, everything the family went through that day just to gather Gloria and Al in one place was a complete nightmare, because Gloria kept getting sidetracked and doing things like going on the wrong tram. It's no wonder that Bob went on a whole rant about Linda's parents not deserving her and her generosity.

There's also the fact that Gloria lied to Gayle about her goldfish being immortal, forcing Linda to keep up the lie too and to be on the receiving end of Gayle's outburst when she inevitably found out the truth. In general, she's very enabling of Gayle, pretty much letting Gayle do whatever she wants and not being very helpful in terms of Gayle's behavior. This must've led to Linda having to be a parent to Gayle growing up and also gave Gayle the impression that she can just do whatever around Linda.

And during her first appearance in "Crawl Space", she's really not much better. All she does is criticize Bob and is just no help whatsoever. You can't really blame Bob for wanting to stay in there instead of spending time with her. Not to mention that she and Al literally had sex presumably knowing that their grandchildren could hear them. Gene even recorded them and got in trouble for it.

Al isn't much better than Gloria. While he isn't as horrible, he's very enabling of Gloria and doesn't do anything to stop her or encourage her to be better. Not to mention that because he's hard of hearing, he has difficulty communicating. He just seems like a distant sort of guy, and one has to wonder how present of a father he was during Linda and Gayle's childhoods.

Gloria and Al also don't really acknowledge their grandchildren that much, and Tina, Gene, and Louise definitely don't have a good opinion of them. It doesn't seem they spend many of the major holidays together, either--it feels like they've seen more of Big Bob than them despite Bob's strained relationship with Big Bob. Or at least, it's obvious they have a better relationship with Big Bob. It's just interesting how Gloria's awfulness is very realistic, just doing little things and refusing to acknowledge her own wrongdoing, leading to Linda always being the one to apologize even when it's not necessary. And Al just doesn't do much at all, which is bad, too.

Linda deserves better parents, or at least her current ones really need to shape up. It's probably not too late for Al.

[ashwhowrites]

Hi :)! I know you've got a lot of requests and drafts right now, but I'm in my sad bitch hours and you're my favorite writer, so I wanted to send this request to you.

Tw: past SA and anxiety

I was thinking about Steve asking out reader and she doesn't even think about it, cause duh. She's been crushing on him for years. But then later she's thinking about it, about him. She's heard the stories and Steve is a known sex God. But she doesn't want that, because she only wants to do that with someone she trusts. And she *thought* she trusted her first boyfriend, but that turned out to be a lie.

So they go out and she's worried that he's gonna try to pull something (he's not, changed man and all, but she doesn't know that). But as they get further into their relationship, he notices that she always changes the subject or moves to do something if they start getting heavy. Like she's fine making out, but as soon as he starts touching her body, she's gone.

He finally asks one day and she just breaks down. She's so scared he's gonna leave her, but she doesn't want sex. And she's almost guilty because she knows that's what he wants, she's just not ready. And he just holds her and tells her that he's fine to wait. He loves her for her. 🖤💜

Favorite writer 🥹

As always, thank you for your patience as I worked to get this out. I hope it's what you were looking for. I haven't written Steve in ages so he may be rusty.

⚠���mentions of SA and anxiety ( no real description of assault or sexual actions)

Never proofread

Steve Harrington, is known to be the sex god of Hawkins during his teenage years. He knew the ways to please any girl he snuck into his huge house. He knew how to make every girl underneath his body moan and shake.

Y/N knew all of that, but she saw something else in him. She saw a boy who craved physical touch because he sat alone in his room. He craved a connection with someone because he was left behind. Sex was something he was good at, so that's all he did. But she knew, Steve Harrington is the type to fall in love. And he deserved someone that fell in love with him too.

She was that person. She adored Steve Harrington for years. His quirky smile, horrible jokes, and of course, his hair. She loved hearing his laugh, and watching him with Dustin and the other kids. She watched Steve grow into a beautiful gentleman.

So when he asked her out, how could she say no?

At the beginning of the relationship, Steve kept his distance. He kissed her softly, always cradling her jaw. Pushing loose strands of hair behind her ears. Since he was so shy, it was easy to pass on the sexual part of the relationship.

But the longer they dated, the more she grew scared of the conversation they would need to have.

~~

Steve knew he used to sleep with girls on the first date, but he's a changed man. He likes taking it slow, learning about Y/N, and knowing her mind just as he would her body. Except, he hadn't gotten to learn her body. Which, he's completely fine with. He isn't in a rush. She didn't seem to be interested in taking that next step, and he was perfectly fine with waiting.

Now they've been dating for around five months, and Steve was obsessed with her. He adored everything about her. But he noticed there was something wrong. They'd kiss softly, slowly growing heavier. Placed her on his lap, hands working up to her chest, then she'd snap out of it. Pulling away, out of breath, a smile on her lips. Climbing off his lap and turning the movie on louder. Steve never questioned it, he didn't want to make it seem like he was pushing her.

But then she did it over and over. Anytime his hands went to meet new skin, she was off him in an instant.

~~

She knew Steve was starting to grow suspicious. She could feel his eyes on her whenever she loved a muscle. Kissing Steve was the best feeling in the world. He was soft and gentle but knew when to be rough. He knew how much tongue was too much. But Steve's past was ringing in her mind, alarms blaring in her head once she felt his hands working up near her chest or her jeans.

She couldn't help it, she'd fly off. Stopping him in his tracks and moving on to the next thing. Distract him with something else. It's been working, but she felt that he was going to ask soon.

~~

And he did

Another make-out session on his couch, her thighs straddling his lap, his hands on her back slowly trailing her spine. Without thinking, his hands went underneath her shirt, going to unclip her bra when she flew off. Standing in front of him with a panicked look in her eyes.

"Woah woah, hey" Steve panicked with her, holding his hands in the air as she panted

"I, sorry," she said, shaking her head as she tried to calm her body. Looking past his eyes as her heart raced and her gut clenched.

"baby? Don't apologize, what's wrong?" He asked softly, slowly raising his hand to touch hers. He kissed her knuckle when she held his hand back.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." She smiled, moving to sit next to him.

"it's nothing. I've noticed...you don't like to be touched. I'm not saying we need to have sex, but why won't you let me touch other parts of you?" He didn't know how to ask it, he tried to frame his words the best he could. He didn't want to upset her but he wasn't sure what would.

But whatever he said, was definitely wrong

He watched as she yanked her hand out of his, covering her face as she sobbed into her hands

"shh, hey it's okay. You don't have to say" he said immediately, throwing his arms around her, and cradling her in a tight hug. He cuddled her into his chest, rubbing her back as she cried into his chest.

"I, just, I can't Steve" she tried to choke out.

The one thing she loved about Steve was he knew how to care for people. He knew the right way to hug someone when they were afraid of falling apart. He was the glue that kept her together, she couldn't lose him.

"can't what baby? Talk to me" he tried again, pulling away slightly to see her face. Frowning at her tears as he cleaned off her cheeks.

"you are going to leave me. I can't lose you" she admitted, her stomach filled with fear.

"I am not leaving you. Talk to me baby, it's just us. It's just me"

"that's the thing, it's you Steve! It's the king of Hawkins. The sex god. It's been five months and I can't give myself to you. I'm not ready to have sex with you! How much longer are you going to wait? Huh? You are going to get bored and leave me!" She ranted. All her fear and anxiety taking the wheel.

"that's not me anymore. I don't care if it's five months or five years or never. I am not with you for sex and I certainly am not going to leave you because of that! I'm with you because you are amazing. You are smart, funny, kind, and creative. I've never felt happier in my life. I want to be with you because you are you." He explained, his brown eyes watering as she cried.

"you say that but I don't know when I'll ever be ready to be intimate with you. You want it, I know you do. I thought I trusted my first boyfriend and I was wrong. I don't want you to leave me but I'm scared. I'm sorry" She accused him. Men were the same, they wanted sex and they'd get it anywhere they could.

"Am I going to leave you because you don't feel comfortable having sex? No. I am perfectly fine with waiting until you are ready, even if that is years from now. And don't you ever apologize for it? You hear me?" He grabbed her chin to make her look at him. Giving her a tiny smile of encouragement.

She nodded as she sniffled

"we will wait until you are ready. I love you for you" he confessed. Fear in his eyes as he realized what he said

"Oh, Stevie. I love you too. Thank you" she cried, throwing her arms around his neck as she cried into his neck.

He held her all night and refused to leave her side. Hugging her from behind as he trailed his fingers on her arms.

She wasn't sure when she'd be ready, but she now knows, she doesn't need to be ready. He wasn't going to leave her, he loved her. And that's all she needed.

Steve tags

@ago-godance @manyfandomsfanvergent

[drama-glob]

Hazbin Hotel Thoughts (Based on what we now know about Lucifer)

HAZBIN HOTEL SPOILERS!!!

Now that we've seen Lucifer and gotten to see how he acts/how bad his depression is and his disgust/disregard for Sinners, it had me thinking about a few things about Hell, the other Deadly Sins and motivations for messing with Earth.

As mentioned by Lute, Lucifer pardoned Charlie and the hellborn from the Extermination when it was being set up, so by the time this happened, Lucifer had already tried to rehabilitate Sinners too but had given up (based on what he said anyway and since it likely took centuries to a thousand years or so for Hell to have enough of a population that Heaven felt threatened by it), so clearly he doesn't want the actual natives to be harmed during the slaughter; this and the fact that Lucifer has the Sinners restricted to Pride indicates to me he does at least care about them and maybe even saw them as less horrible than Sinners since we've seen that they're not wholly evil despite where they're born. (Yes, I know there's a chance Lilith played a big part in the negotiation if he was so disheartened by this point, but Lucifer didn't seem particularly evil or cruel, so him having some compassion for those that are true citizens of Hell that would also be killed without a second thought doesn't seem too hard to believe :/).

But with the fact that Lucifer shows such disdain for Sinners as a whole and even seems to regret them being given free will, it makes me curious as to the fact why would he want Pride to be riddled with more of them by having the Deadly Sins infiltrate Earth more and more? The best I can figure is that since he found himself as the King of Hell and despite his angelic origins, this is his home and kingdom now, so his concern lay with making sure it was as powerful and fortified as possible and just resigned to believing that humans were basically awful and the Deadly Sins' influence wasn't really going to change what was predestined, basically seeing the souls in Heaven as the exception not the rule. :/ I wonder if the Extermination also helps Hell's environment by feeding the planet or whatever with all that energy from the Sinners when they are killed, so there's that potential possible "silver-lining" to having so many die each year. :/ Earth does seem admittedly crucial to some grand plot in the universe, but since Hell only seems to get souls from there, it makes sense so much focus would be spent on it in addition to the stars that affect it.

On a side-note, I'm guessing the more depressed Lucifer got, the less engaged he was with the others and held less and less meetings, maybe even sending Lilith or Charlie in his place. It may have even got to the point after Lilith left that Lucifer was just apathetic about the whole thing and said, "Do what you want. Just keep your rings in order and don't let humanity catch on. I don't care." :/ I also wouldn't be surprised if Charlie even spoke/found comfort with those like Ozzie and Bee more than Lucifer just because they were more open and available to talk. :(

I just don't think he had the Sins and the Goetia focused on Earth out of spite/it being a big middle finger to Heaven, but merely as a recourse to make sure Hell survived since they are after all at Heaven's mercy with how powerful their weapons are. Granted, I'm sure the royals held their own feelings about Heaven and have their own intentions with the whole spreading Hell's influence agenda, (whether they all turn out to be fallen angels or not, which so far they've only mentioned Lucifer is one so that leaves their origins still up in the air), but Lucifer seemed more defeated and scared of Heaven taking what was left from him at this point than needing to prove his ideas were right and that it's purely Heaven that's wrong (even if he did try to defend them in the past mind you). :/

*It's just some things that were rattling around in my brain and I wanted to get them out, especially before we get the season finale that may debunk some or all of this. :)

[s10127470]

The Flanderization(?) of Peter Parker

So for the past few weeks, I’ve been scrolling on Twitter (and before I get 20 comments telling me that was a mistake) and there, I’ve been seeing an interesting series of posts.

Essentially, these posts have shared what many people’s ideal version Spider-Man (Peter Parker) should be like.

And at first, it didn’t seem so bad at first.

But after looking into these posts some more, it gave me the urge to swim in a pond full of hungry alligators.

A lot of the takes on these posts are not only pretty bad, but even miss the appeal and point of the character.

So today, I wanted to discuss lot of the points I've been seeing in these posts, as I feel like Peter is suffering from a case of......maybe not exactly flanderization, but something similar to that.

So without further ado, let's get this started!

-Peter should constantly be angry and angsty:

I already talked about this point in my Spectacular Spider-Man post, but I figured I should bring it up again here for cohesion sakes.

It's pretty well known that for decent chunk of his existence pre-2000s, Peter was known for having a bit of a temper.

Especially during the Lee and Ditko-era, given how unhinged he was.

And honestly, I don't like this point.

Unpopular opinion: but unless they're played in a comedic sense or we actually see them grow out of this, I really don't like angry characters.

I tend to find them somewhat shallow and they can real old, real quick.

But fans believe that this is how Peter should be like 24/7.

And to that I must say.....

Like, I'm not the biggest fan of Lee/Ditko Peter or OG Ultimate Peter, but them being constantly angry and angsty at least made some sense with the fact that they were teenagers.

But fans are saying the current Peter Parker, who may I remind you, is literally pushing 30, should be like this all the time.

Like dude. If Peter was like this, he would come off as more of an emotionally-stunned man-child than he already does!

And fans HATE Peter being a man-child!

I also mentioned this in my Spectacular post, but I feel like the reason fans have been wanting a Peter like this is because of how a lot of recent Spidey media has portrayed the dude as being kind of a punk and a pushover.

So basically they're trying to overcompensate.

And even then, let's be honest, having Peter constantly being angry and angsty is gonna get really old and annoying.

Like after a while, you're just gonna have to ask him.......

Like, I get his life isn't easy. But MY GOD. He is really trying to say that nothing good ever happened to him, at all?

Not ONE good thing?

-Peter should be an asshole to just about everyone:

Now this point I really hate.

This ties into the whole overcompensating problem I just mentioned.

As of a result of this, I've been seeing people recently gassing up Lee/Ditko Peter.

For those who aren't in the know, Lee/Ditko Peter was a massive asshole.

This dude was the personification of "no chill".

Being needlessly spiteful and rude to just about everyone except for Aunt May, and a total smart-ass.

Plus, he was a total incel.

Like, I get it.

Fans want to see a Peter again that actually has some backbone.

I do too.

But they've taken it too far.

Where they believe that in order to showcase this, Peter needs to be an insufferable asshole who treats everyone around like shit.

Even if they don't deserve it.

You know he's suppose to be The Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, right?

Like, who wants to follow a Peter who's just a flat-out jerk?

I ain't gonna feel sorry for him if anything bad happens to him.

Because.....

Also, who the hell would want to see a Peter like this being a married man with a child?

Are there legitimately some fans who are just like.....?

"Yeah! In addition to being a piece of shit to everyone around him, I love seeing Peter being a horrible (and possibly abusive) husband and father! That's what he's suppose to be like!"

-Peter should love being Spider-Man so he has an outlet to take his anger out on everything:

As I mentioned before, you know he's suppose to The Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, right?

Peter loves being Spider-Man because he gets to help people in need and protect them from danger.

Having Peter love being Spider-Man just so he can take his anger out on everything not only makes him look like an asshole, but also makes him look like a psychopath.

Like, Peter apparently should actually love beating the shit out of the people.

-Peter should only show kindness and friendliness on occasions:

I hate this fucking point.

Peter is suppose to be one of the kindest and most selfless heroes in the Marvel Universe.

As I've already mentioned twice, "Friendly" is in his name!

Though apparently, some fans believe that it's bad for heroes to be kind and friendly?

Exactly!

I'm guessing it's because as I'm sure many of you know, there's been this long-standing, toxic mindset of that showing kindness and friendliness makes you weak.

And as I mentioned before, Peter has had an issue in recent years of being seen as a pushover.

So you can kinda see where I'm coming from with this.

-Peter should be the strongest hero there is. Nobody can beat him!:

While I don't hate this point like some of the other ones, this one still really grinds my gears.

It's a known fact that Peter is a lot stronger than he lets on.

He himself has even said that he always pulls his punches to ensure he doesn't kill anyone.

There's also the fact that he's famously taken down various superhero teams all on his own.

This has led many fans to believe that Peter is one of the most powerful characters and could actually beat anybody in the Marvel Universe.

You remember in my X-Men Hot Takes post when I mentioned that Cyclops has essentially the same problem as Batman.

You know what, I take it back.

It's Peter who has that issue.

Don't get me wrong, Peter is a very strong character.

But, I don't think he's as strong as some make him out to be.

In addition to that, saying he can beat literally anyone in the Marvel Universe is really fucking pushing it.

I mentioned before that people tend to use his victories against those superhero teams as a main example for why he's the strongest hero around.

However, people tend to leave out the fact that when Peter fought those teams, they weren't exactly attacking him nor were they in the mindset of doing so.

Because if they were, I legitimately feel like they actually would decimate him.

There's also the fact that people tend to often ignore what each of those heroes capable of and even ignore THEIR feats.

As I mentioned before, Peter's tough, but he's not THAT tough.

He ain't gonna be throwing hands evenly with Superman.

Or making Saitama quake in his boots.

Also, we all know DAMN well he ain't gonna be beating.....

-Peter should be the purest definition of an alpha male:

So a while back, I saw a post that stated a theme of Spider-Man that isn't often talked about is that of what it means to be a man.

It was a pretty interesting read, and looking back at a lot of issues from the past, I can definitely see it.

So why am I bringing this up.

Well, from how a lot of fans want Peter to act, they're essentially say he needs to be like, the true definition of an alpha male.

Basically take every trait of toxic masculinity you can think of, put it in a blender, and then force-feed it to Peter like how Weird Al Yankovic's mom force-fed him sauerkraut until he was 26 1/2 years old.

(Bonus points for anyone who gets that reference)

I thought that we as a society all agreed that alpha males are cringe and shouldn't be something to aspire to.

But to the Spider-Man fandom, apparently not.

Though I will admit, it is funny to imagine Peter being absolutely obsessed and looking up to Andrew Tate of all people.

"SHOCKER! What color is your Bugatti!?"

-Peter should be cucking everyone and should have a harem:

This is unfortunately another case of the overcompensation.

It's no surprise that Peter has gained a reputation of being seen as a cuck, due to him losing Mary Jane to.....

HIM.

Despite the fact that famously for decades, Peter had been portrayed as being quite the chick magnet.

Attracting the attention of several women.

However, due to Peter's recent reputation as a Cuck Berry, fans have been clamoring for him to be a chick magnet again so HE can be the one doing the cucking!

And I don't like that.

This made even worse with the fact that there's the consideration of having Peter essentially be a harem protagonist!

And I know most people tend to use this as a joke, but I've seen a good chunk of fans unironically saying that Peter should have a harem.

Everytime I see this image, a part of me dies inside.....

-Peter should be the one and only Spider-Man:

One of all the points here, this is the one I HATE the most.

And for those who aren't terminally online, you do too.

Ever since like the 1970s, we have seen other versions of Spider-Man (many of which are alternate versions of Peter).

Mainly set in alternate universes like Spider-Ham, Spider-Man 2099, Spider-Man Noir, Ultimate Spider-Man, and Spider-Punk.

But also in the 70s, we would actually see that were other Spidery superheroes besides Peter in the mainline Marvel Universe, starting with introduction of Jessica Drew.

And over the decades, we would be introduced to more like Ben Reilly, Kaine, and Silk.

Though you're probably wondering what do these guys have to do with this point.

Well, ever since the film Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, there's been a notable rise in the featuring of other Spider-People.

And unfortunately, many people (myself included) have gotten a little tired of it.

However, there are good chunk of fans who believe that Peter should be the only and one Spider-person and that there shouldn't be any others.

And while I can see where they're coming from, I wouldn't go that far.

However, the other Spider people of the 616-verse tend to get a free pass on this.....

Except for one.....

You may have noticed that I left one major Spider-Person.

Undoubtedly the biggest one behind Peter himself.

And that's none other than...

Miles....Miles.....Miles.

Although a more recent addition to the Spider-Man mythos, he's quickly gone on to become an immediate mainstay.

And while most of the fanbase loves the guy, there's also a good chunk of it who ABSOLUTELY hates him.

And the main reason for that is the fact that he's the only Spider-Person in the 616-Verse who has taken on the title of "Spider-Man".

And when this happened, this caused quite the stir.

To put it lightly.

I'm sure many of you know by now that Miles was originally from The OG Ultimate Universe.

And was one of the few things in that trainwreck of a universe that wasn't shit.

But following the events of the 2015 Secret Wars, Miles would be relocated to the 616 Universe.

And it was quite controversial when it happened.

While some were cool with it, others were not, as they felt that having 2 Spider-Men in the same universe would be a problem.

However, it really isn't, especially since these two hardly interact.

Yeah, it's funny to think about how Peter and Miles are pretty distanced from one another whereas as every other iteration featuring the duo portray them as incredibly close.

But in spite of that, many fans beg to differ.

I'm sure just about all of you have heard of the infamous phrase.

"Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Miles Morales is Miles Morales"

And although the line is seen as a total joke, it does emphasize how there's a lot of fans who refuse to accept Miles as Spider-Man or even as a worthy successor to the name.

I think the main reason is because Peter himself is still Spidey.

And alive.

So it makes Miles being Spider-Man kinda redundant.

But if that's the case, what about the Hawkeyes?

Kate Bishop became the successor to Clint Barton, despite still being alive and active.

So how come they don't get any flack for this?

I also feel like another reason why Miles is hated is because of how he's been doing.

It's no surprise to many that while he's had his fair share of struggles, his life is NOWHERE near to the same level of misery porn as Peter's.

And given that Spidey fans are sick of Peter's life being absolute shit, I feel like there's a sense of envy at play here.

Also, yes, there are definitely those fans who hate Miles being the successor to Peter just because he's half-black and half-Puerto-Rican.

How much you wanna bet those dipshits are fans of this even bigger dipshit?

-Peter should always be a little selfish:

Now we've come to the second worst point on this list.

Anyone who says Peter needs to be selfish undoubtedly misses the point of the character.

One of Peter's most defining traits is his selflessness.

He always goes out of his way to protect and help those in need, even if he doesn't get anything in reward or ends up suffering for it in a way.

Because it's the right thing to do!

But as I've mentioned several times in this post, Spidey fans have a problem with Peter being selfless as it apparently makes him look like a pushover.

And even then.....have these fans just forgot that Peter being selfish resulted in the tragedy that has defined him since the very beginning?!

That being the DEATH OF UNCLE BEN!

And even then, Peter himself has refused to be selfish, because he knows that if he was, someone else could suffer the same tragedy he did!

And he would never want that to happen to anyone!

-Other heroes should hate Peter because of how great he is and better than all of them he is!:

To wrap this up, we'll be looking at one of the least bad points on this encursed list.

On Twitter, I've seen people gassing up the issue where Peter harassed The Avengers.

And many fans have been clamoring, saying that this how all of Peter's interactions with other heroes should be like.

Being that they should despise him (and maybe even be deeply jealous of him because of how great he is).....

Apart from the fact that this would make Peter look like a bully and a nuisance, I really don't like this approach.

Like many, I've grown tired of the concept of heroes just hating each other.

Largely thanks to the hero vs. hero craze that overtook the mid-to-late 2000s and the early-to-mid-2010s.

Seeing heroes being on negative terms with each other isn't interesting anymore, because it's been ran into the goddamn ground.

I like seeing heroes on positive terms with each other, because it's more interesting and could even led all kinds of dynamics.

Having the heroes just hate each other is so damn easy and lazy.

Hell, some of Peter's most interesting relationships are positive ones with one heroes.

Definitely the greatest would have to be with The Fantastic Four.

Like, they're so close to each other and genuinely care about each other so much, that they even consider Peter a part of their family!

But apparently that's not interesting anymore.....

This was probably one of the hardest posts I've ever done.

Not just because I wanted to make sure I got my thoughts on all these points across as clear as possible, but also just trying to make sense out of them in order to see why so many fans have been saying them so much.

But anyway, that's all I have for now.

Let me know what you think about these.

Also, let me know if there's any other commonly mentioned points I that missed.

But just like Michigan J. Frog said, I'm gonna get a drink.

Peace.

[willow-springpaw592]

My thoughts on the newest main story quests, some positive and some...slightly on the fence:

First of all, I like that Linda is shown to actually have a backbone and will snap back at people if they insult her. Maybe I'm remembering wrong, but for a while it seemed like she was just the token intelligent one of the group who never got into conflicts. So I really liked seeing her stand up for herself this time against the dark riders!

I like how the druids can send messages via runestones to each other in times of crisis. It's something I never would've thought of, and although the way the runestones just grow out of the ground could seem silly and nonsensical in a way for some, I personally really like it!

Also, the magnetising void! It was so cool! I wonder what past Soul Rider performed it with Concorde? I would say Elizabeth, but that just seems too obvious. I love that we got to see a more dangerous side to the magic of the Sun Circle, and I really hope that this is something they will continue with for the rest of the Circles. Maybe for the Moon Circle, Linda could be able to cast dangerous illusions to confuse the dark riders? Or send visions that can drive people mad? It's probably too 'evil' for the Soul Rider circles, but I think it would be cool to see the dark side of the Keepers' magical abilities.

Now, onto the bombing of Dark Core Headquarters. I find it really difficult to believe that DC was never actually drilling any oil. They couldn't have partnered with GED forever, could they've? How could they have made money otherwise? At some point in history they must have drilled for oil, and then stopped for some reason. Maybe to put all their money into the equipment to build the Hadal gate (which btw confirms that Garnoks prison is indeed super deep under the sea, and not in some untouched corner of Pandoria) Anyways, I really hope this is not SSEs attempt at portraying DC as somewhat redeemable with 'oh no they actually weren't polluting the island at all, they were doing nothing wrong!', nevermind the fact that they are working towards releasing Garnok, who has made it very clear by now in regards to his plans for the island.

Well whatever, moving on from that, Erissa! Finally! I was hoping she'd have some lines of dialogue, but I did love her cartwheel/flip coming out of the portal. It's nice to see that Mr Sands is back in action again after not being present in the story for damn, what 5, 6 years now?! I though he and the Dark Riders would've been a bit more annoyed about the oil rig's destruction, so I guess the Soul Riders have got their war crime charges dropped for now at least.

Now for the obligatory Darko mention. With every new release of the main story, I get increasingly more worried about what SSE is planning on doing with him now. He should've been in the ending of this quest, yet he wasn't, and there's been absolutely zero mentions of him ever since the saving Anne quests from other characters, even though he was probably a massive source of trauma for Anne if he was the one who guarded her prison cell, and she seemed to have a very deep hatred of him going off of her mentions of him at past seasonal events. I can't find my screenshot of her one at Midsummer but she said something along the lines of, "What do you think happened to Darko? He had better still be alive. I won't let him take away my chance for revenge." Yes I know, I remembered one line of dialogue at an event years ago, can you tell I'm obsessed yet? I want to say that they're planning something big with him and the Nightmare Institute, but I've got this horrible feeling that they'll either reveal he's dead( even though the soul riding missions are proof that he isn't) or they'll just totally write him out of the story from now on because they've got the new Dark Rider models now, so they can do more with them. I know most people hate him, but I think he has the potential to be a really interesting irredeemable mad scientist type character, so I really hope they haven't given up on him yet. I'm probably being really over dramatic right now XD, but he's been my no.1 character hyperfixation since 2018 so that's my excuse lol.

I really didn't think this would be so long but to summarise: Anne and Linda are badass, I want Avalon to deck someone across the face, and I want Darko to make his dramatic appearance again someday :''(

Well, goodnight! Please share your own opinions with me if you'd like, I'd love to know everyone else's thoughts!

[popcorn-plots]

y'all I have a question

I love romance, am a hopeless romantic, and my dream date is literally every single hollywood romance stereotype. But only if I like someone first?

Example: I have a really good friend. I love her so much, and she's awesome. But a few months ago, she mentioned that I was her type and that was a little off-putting but not an issue (in fact I teased her about it a lot, but the moment she asked me to stop, I stopped and haven't teased her since). Recently, I found out from a friend, that it's fairly obvious she has a crush on me. I've seen it too, and other friends have mentioned how much she talks about me to them.

Which is fine. But the moment I noticed that she really did seem to have a crush on me, I lost interest in being friends with her or being around her. Which sounds absolutely horrible, and I feel terrible for it, but I just have zero interest in being around her knowing that she has feelings for me.

In the past, if I have feelings for someone and they reciprocate them, it's perfectly fine. I've been in three relationships and they've all been great (besides the amount of drama in every one of them). But, in the past, if someone expresses interest in me before I have an interest in them, it feels icky and uncomfy and I suddenly can't stand the idea of being around them.

Even if someone mentions that they liked me before I liked them, but never said anything, it makes me a little squeamish. And if my feelings aren't reciprocated, the romantic attraction fades pretty quickly.

I experience romantic attraction. And I love romance, I want a romance. But I hate it when the romance is reciprocated before I feel anything. Is this a trauma/insecurity thing or an actual aromantic thing?

The only thing I've come close to describing it with is lithromantic, but I have a desire for romantic relationships, and I feel romantic attraction.

def a little bit of Achillean because I am male-aligned who likes men, but that's not related to the romance topic

feelings are weird

[soursherbat]

hi hello i adore your dynamic with shamura and lamb can i just kick my little feet and ask for you to ramble about them?

ABSOLUTELY YOU CAN!!! do u know what you're signing up for. i have so many thoughts about them,

so!!! i believe this all takes place over at Least a few years, likely a decade- at first, their dynamic is rather strained. shamura's guilt causes them to repeatedly push the lamb away and lash out at times, though they cannot fully distance themself from it.

shamura starts off as a dissenter, but in my au that's mostly because they're confused as to where they are, and rather upset about their fate in general- if i were forced into the cult of the one who killed my Entire Family i would be pretty pissed too!

but shamura can't force themself to hate the lamb like heket and narinder do initially, i believe they're very forgiving. in all of my saves ive solved their dissenting with a meal- so ive made that canon here! the lamb and shamura share a meal to establish trust, after all if you believed someone truly wanted to kill you, why would you share a meal?

ramzi even apologizes to them for everything he's done- something shamura can't even bring themself to do. they're forgiving, of course, but now they just feel even worse about how they've acted and everything they've done in their past... ramzi could have figured out everything much sooner if he'd read their mind, but he genuinely prefers to not read them, feeling that it's too intrusive.

and i mean, ramzi is always so nice to shamura, even when they're short with it in response. not to mention they feel as if they owe him their life, and he doesn't even make them work! they feel horrible for wanting to get away from him, but guilt and regret make you do irrational things.

ramzi doesn't know which of the bishops had the initial idea to cull the lambs, and frankly he didn't want to know. he's actually the one to approach shamura and ask if he's done something to make them hate it, which- well.

it makes shamura lose their composure and explain everything to him, creating an even bigger rift than before. he truly didn't want to know, he would have preferred to be ignorant about it, and now someone he truly had been developing feelings for tells him they're the reason his entire family and even his species is gone?

they spend some time avoiding each other while ramzi gathers his thoughts and decides to approach them once more, telling them that while he cannot forgive them, he'd try to in time. it's reasonable in shamura's mind, although it does sting to hear it from ramzi directly.

even after All of this, the lamb is nothing but accommodating to them. even moreso after, actually! he takes all of the bishop's ailments and disabilities very seriously, and works his hardest to help them recover how he can, but he's always paid special attention to shamura...

i can't lie, ramzi does play favorites a little bit. something about them drew ramzi in, and in my timeline they're the first to marry, despite starting on possibly the shakiest ground possible!

he does forgive them eventually, and that's when their relationship truly begins. everyone had always had a feeling there was some sort of tension between them, but it becomes so compounded after sharing a bottle of ambrosia that they can't hide their feelings for each other anymore and they decide to give things a try.

shamura is rather repressed, in my opinion- as the former god of war, reason ruled over all. they couldn't afford to let emotions get in their way, and they kind've fumble their way through their relationship with the lamb.

ramzi finds it all too endearing, and finds out very quickly that he enjoys their 'courtship ritual' which just involves them gently drumming their pedipalps and facial appendages on him like a real spider. they also give the best hugs in his opinion, what with their extra set of arms and all-

okay i need to stop now or ill write you an entire novel but honestly i think i should just write fics abt them at this point

[stardew-obsessed-ora]

I've been really busy, so I haven't been able to write anything I've wanted to in the past little bit. Regardless, I'd really like to expand on the concept of Trans Morris and my HCs revolving around him. They've been sitting in my brain for a while, and I'd love to share them with the audience.

Word Count: 1.5k! CW/TW: uhhhh not sure what to put here but Has themes of self doubt, dysphoria, and less upbeat societal stuff around the beginning OH ALSO UNSAFE BINDING IS BRIEFLY MENTIONED.

୨﹒Trans Morris HCs

︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦︶♡︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷︶︶꒦꒷

- I see Morris as a Trans guy who experiences dysphoria. (He/Him) - I imagine he first realized he didn't align with his agab as a young child. He realized he had more of a connection toward masculinity and toward other boys, but it never really clicked until he was older. All he knew was that he didn't like wearing anything overly feminine, and that he preferred to wear his hair up to make it look short. I imagine as a kid he’d pitch an utter fit being forced to wear any kind of dress, but it was just brushed off as him being a defiant kid. - Its not that his parents wouldn’t have been supportive, they just didn’t understand what his issue was, and were left even more confused when kid him tried to explain it. - He went through his teen years knowing something was off but never quite understanding what it was. There weren’t answers for him in any of the books he looked through, nor were there answers around him. It was isolating. It felt right being mistaken for a guy when his hair was up, and it felt mortifying when people corrected themselves. But it shouldn’t have. Why did it feel like that? - He was raised entirely oblivious to LGBTQ+ identities. After all, he was raised sometime in the late 80s/early 90s. Identifying as anything within the community was still seen as a taboo, so to say. He had heard about it in passing, and even heard about it in a somewhat positive light from a few people, but was too nervous to look into it himself. For every positive thing he heard, there were dozens of negative things. I heavily HC this man as having been bullied. It was terrifying to him. He was terrified of the possibility of being something that wouldn’t be accepted. Of something which was such a large part of other peoples’ existence being something that caused his more turmoil. A part of him felt like he was just looking for attention, and the other part felt like it’d be a dead end and that he’d end up worse off than he already was. He’d likely look into it too much and mislabel himself. Self doubt! Confusion! Imposter Syndrome! - Sometime in his teens he started feeling horrible dysphoria and ended up giving himself one of those choppy botched haircuts on numerous occasions. - Dysphoria hoodies were practically an everyday outfit. If anyone asked, he’d just tell them that hoodies and sweatpants were comfier to be in. - He fell victim to the bandage binding trap. He wanted to try to use anything to hide his chest, and so, he tried to bandage bind. Obviously after a bit of trial and error he realized this was an outright horrible idea and stopped bothering, resorting right back to the hoodie grind. - He started fully transitioning sometime when he was in his 20s. - He had absolutely no idea what the fuck being trans was, nor what how he felt was considered. He was nervous over bringing up how he felt, as it seemed entirely alien. He felt like it wasn't worth bringing up to anyone, and that it was in his head, really. If his parents didn’t know what he was talking about, if none of his peers understood, then clearly the issue was him. Right? He didn't know what transness was until he caught a conversation from a coworker within his department about it and realized their experiences and emotions aligned with his.

- Bro was standing there in his Joja apron thingy like :O.

- He didn’t confront them about it or anything, but knowing someone else felt similar to how he did was enlightening. It felt like there might’ve been people out there who understood his experiences, and that he wasn’t alone. There were people like him, and they were thriving.

- Eventually he’s able to find more information and resources pertaining to his feelings and he looks into LGBTQ+ identities as a whole. This is when he’s finally able to seek gender affirming care for himself, and also be able to better understand himself as a whole.

- The day this man started binding a weight was seemingly lifted off of his shoulder. It was more difficult for him to find a binder at first due to his size, but when he did… He stared at himself in the mirror for a solid 10 minutes in disbelief. It was his first ever experience with gender euphoria, and he could have cried on the spot.

- Coming out to his parents was another weight off of his shoulders. Well- after the long-winded explanation he had to give. His parents weren’t unsupportive, but they were entirely clueless like he was. It took a lot of examples and carefully expanding on concepts for them to finally start wrapping their head around his identity. They’re still a bit confused, but they’ve got the spirit!

- He actually let his mom help him with figuring out his preferred name! His dad rushed in to give his own input and ultimately they decided on his current name as one he liked :3 

- Pre-T his voice was lower on the register, but after taking testosterone his voice noticeably changed. He didn’t have to force a lower voice when speaking anymore. Of course, he did end up making it a habit to force a higher voice around people he didn’t quite trust anymore. At least until it was difficult to.

- Adjusting to testosterone injections was… not fun! I don’t headcanon he necessarily has a fear of needles, but he does hesitate every fucking time he gives himself a shot if there isn’t a distraction around for him to focus on. - bro has definitely done his T shot in a dingy ass joja restroom before

- I personally headcanon that even as a lower ranking Joja Employee he didn’t have much of anyone to speak to, so there wasn’t really anyone for him to come out to aside from his parents.

- He worked overtime constantly so that he could eventually afford top surgery.

- Post OP was even better than he could’ve imagined. After getting over the soreness of the procedure and resting for as many days as he could before the Joja demons wrangled him back into work, he stared at himself in the mirror and just grinned. Seeing himself the way he had always wanted to look was everything he could’ve dreamed of and more. He felt sheer gender euphoria and if it wasn’t for the fact that he was still sore as hell from surgery he would’ve probably pranced around.

- He was able to walk around his house with a shirt off more often, if not, almost all the time during the hotter seasons.

- Over the years I imagine he grew into his identity more and came to be really proud of who he is, and what he’s been through. Though, he still prefers only bringing his identity up to people he can trust. He’s still skittish over the thought of being chastised by others and still worries about the possibility of being outed to someone he can’t trust. Hate him for being a corporate drone, don’t hate him for who he is!

- He still experiences dysphoria, but it isn’t even remotely as bad as it was in his younger years. He can still be found in blanket-nests on the off day though, and he’s definitely snuck into a hoodie after work on numerous occasions. Why doesn't he wear a hoodie during work hours, you may ask? He's a FORMAL man who craves FORMALITY and STYLE. Removing his suit on work hours would be like removing a part of his soul, it'd be embarrassing stepping out and being seen as so informal for once.

- He looks at his surgery scars fondly, thinking of how far he’s come and how much farther he’ll inevitably come. - Coming out to any friend he makes is ultimately nerve-wracking for him, but he always says it with such a prideful, soft smile. - Despite being more discreet about his identity, he would 1000% be happy helping younger trans folk figure out their identities and help them grow into themselves. - He's not the best boss in the world, but by god is he great when it comes to inclusivity and making sure everyone is heard and accommodated and heard on that department. He's the guy who would absolutely risk his job yelling at some executive over their backwards ass views. Yes, he's a corporate suck-up, but he's not a big enough one to let that slide. - Bro absolutely reps that tacky Joja Brand Pride Merchandise every pride month. (and all year, for that matter. pride is an all year affair and hes letting it be known no matter how awful the mug is) - Eventually, with a lot of hesitation on his end, he openly comes out as trans and is greeted with just about nothing but support from the acquaintances he has. It took him by surprise for sure, but he could've swore he viewed the valley in a much softer light that day, and even moreso post community center. - After this, he's able to go to the beach topless, which was one of his longtime future goals. Not only does it feel reaffirming, but its the marking of him fully coming into everything regardless of his age. Plus, no longer would the days of a tank top and socks and sandals remain!

[bluecrazydriver]

Chapter 1 - Under the tree

It was an ordinary afternoon. Under that ancient tree next to Hogwarts castle's secluded river, a pair rested in its shade. Severus wrote notes in his Advanced Portions book while his perhaps best friend, Anasthasya, relaxes her head on the boy's thigh.

There were years and years of those moments, every free afternoon in every school year. It wasn't a simple school friendship, they didn't just know each other, they connected with the beat of their hearts and mind. Maybe like soulmates.

The light breeze announced the arrival of summer, a season they both hated. It wasn't because of the infernal heat but because of the inevitable separation for painful weeks.

— Are you sure you can't come to my house? — she asked, remaining with her eyes closed.

Severus takes his focus off the book and looks at her. What did she think about hanging out with him? Snape the Greasy-Haired Sniveler had the unconditional friendship of the most beautiful girl in Slytherin.

Anasthasya seemed like a divine tear, a gift from God who wanted to apologize to the Earth after creating James Potter. Not only outstanding beauty, but also her wisdom and kindness made Severus' heart flutter in her presence.

— My family would love you! — Hydes finally opens his black eyes, then smiles friendly.

- Why do you think that? — he questioned. Also letting out a sideways smile. Anasthasya was infectious.

— Because I talk about how smart you are and how perfect your glue-pasting strategies are! — The two laugh, with Anasthasya taking her head off his thigh and sitting next to him

— Fuck! Did you mention that?! — he asked incredulously — You're not even ashamed to admit that you cheat.

— They've known this for years! My Portion grades the first year were horrible and the second year it increased considerably! Don't you think they would suspect?

— You could have said that you studied! — Severus mutters, still laughing.

— Oh! As if they would believe it... —she sighs, trying to get back to the subject — Can't you spend even a week of our vacation at my home?

— You know I can't.

— Okay then, I'm going to kidnap you at 11pm in your bedroom, be ready...What are you writing again there? — she asks, approaching Severus to look at his book.

Anasthasya notices his breathing becomes unregulated with the contact, which ends up speeding up her heart. The girl touched Snape's hand that was holding the object.

— Well...I'm developing a curse. — the Slytherin responds, immediately beginning a visual fixation.

— Will it work this time? — she teases him, remembering other failed attempts.

— Don't fill it — Severus rolls his eyes, earning a genuine laugh from Anasthasya.

— I love when you do that. It's so funny.

— I love when you laugh like that. It's so silly...but in a way I like.

Anasthasya blushes at Snape's sweet (and rare) words. Her mind raced, trying to stay focused, however, she couldn't get the idea of hugging Severus out of her head.

— So...it's something to use against Potter and those little shits?...the curse— Hydes mutters, returning to the subject.

Those full, pink lips, how he wanted to delight in those lips, feel her kiss and caress those cheeks with his cold fingers. I'm too hideous for her... he imagines

— Yes, exactly that — Severus gets up, putting the book in his bag — I'm going... I'll see you after the holidays. Bye.

— Byebye Snape! — she says goodbye, still sitting under the tree.

Hydes watches his figure slowly walk away. Enjoying the image of that black hair blowing in the wind, she keeps focused on him.

How do they have the courage to say that his hair is oily?

______________________________________

AN: hi. Firstly, I don't know how to use Tumblr, so bear with me while I organize things. Secondly, English is not my first language, so I sometimes use Google Translate. Thirdly, see you later. (I don't fucking know what I'm doing)

[abloomingsunflower]

Unpopular opinions.. :,)

[TW!! Mentions of pedophilia, abuse and rape]

1- Honestly? I absolutely despise Crescent x Palette. This is the one thing I really hate about Crest, him showing romantic love towards a FUCKING MINOR- Otherwise he's a pretty great guy, but did he really have to catch feelings for Palette? He's freaking 25 for fucks sake.

"God did say, love is love.."

"And jail is jail."

I fucking ADORE Lux for saying that! <3 Though she is the villain in this story, she did the right thing for once and stood up against this. What in the world would possibly make pedophilia okay?!

The fact Palette reciprocates though..And even ended up dating him in another timeline.

I'm sorry, it's just- ew.. I'm glad he stops hanging out with Crescent but I hate the fact he still does like the priest. Crescent should honestly put his morals before his desires and get rid of his feelings for Palette.

I know I made this ship happen in the Good Ending of Sunflower AU, but it was only for lore purposes for this ending's future arc. Imagine it like a choice in a videogame, that leads to a certain route: Palette chooses Crescent, thus Arti becomes queen and ends up catching the Hanahaki disease, out of her love for Palette. And now Crescent has left too and she can't handle all the stress of being all by herself. And this is where Neon steps in to save Artemis.

Other than that, I absolutely hate this ship and it makes me super uncomfortable. Also one of the reasons why the Good Ending isn't canon.

I feel terrible for making it canon in the good ending but I need that future arc lore man- Or, yk, might change stuff. That seems like the better option.

2-Believe it or not, I actually started to like Killer.

She's portrayed pretty well, and her reactions to trauma seem very realistic to me.

I would react that way if I was tricked that my son was a monster that killed my other son. I would be in shambles mentally and always on guard if I experienced the same traumas Killer did.

While indeed, I don't find her mean comments pleasant, can I really blame her? She never asked to be put in this situation and she was already mentally unstable before Cor.Nightmare suddenly fell for her and forced his way into her.

She's trying to be a good mother to kids that remind her too much of her abuser. (-Merciless I guess.)

Like..damn. This woman has gone through a lot already, she deserves some peace and hope.

Hehe..get it?

:,)

3-Sometimes I wish Cross and Cor.Nightmare didn't do such huge fuck-ups.

I..honestly don't know what to think of them. I shouldn't like them. They've both done the most unforgiving stuff ever and I fucking hate them for that.

I feel bad for Cor.Nightmare due to what he endured in the past, he reminds me so much of Mateo from that Homesick webtoon. I just- have mixed feelings towards Corrupted. I HATE ITTTT..-

And Cross? If it weren't for the fact that he genuinely seems like that one uncle who's fucked up BADLY and was kicked out of the family but somewhat does regret everything he's done, and that in The Sunflower AU I ship him with Albedo/Wicked, he'd be dead to me-

I feel like a horrible person for SORT OF tolerating these two..UGHHH-

4- This isn't really an opinion, more like a question- I've always wondered, WHY is Lux so mad at Palette that she wants him dead? Like- what is going on, what did he do that did so much damage?

Passive definitely has part in this mess, that's for sure. And I know Palette was a bratty kid at the time who always spouted bad words unknowingly, because that's how small his brain was back then- Was the situation THAT bad..?- Like- Damn-

5-And finally, I want to express my genuine opinion on Drop's crush on Merciless..

WHO IS TEACHING HER THESE STUFF- Istfg if it is Goth encouraging her I won't be surprised- I am sending the nuclear bombs on that white-haired Karen-looking bitch

I am in my silly goofy mood right now and I feel like DESTROYING-

Someone, anyone, for the love of god, please, she's precious, but fucking get these stuff out of the 10 year old's brain-

Merciless, Ink, Dream, Hope, PALETTE, I am looking at you, tell her this is wrong- Don't let her become like her future self in E.L.A's good ending- Please- SOBS-

Anywho, yes I wish Drop didn't like Merciless romantically and try to get his attention like that..- But she's just a kid, maybe she'll learn in the Surprise Ending..-

E.L.A and all it's characters belong to @anotherrosesthatfell

I was in my silly goofy mood, Rose- I don't mean to insult, just pointing out some stuff I don't like in E.L.A. Other than these, I think the AU and characters are pretty well-written.

[juniperhillpatient]

Idk i went into a spiral now im thinking about Mai x Suki x Zuko x Sokka. Oh the wars they could bring (or crack). Thoughts?

Ooh, great potential!

Imagine post-war that Zuko stays close to Sokka & Suki. After all, doing a prison break together seems like the kind of activity that will leave you bonded for life. Of course, Zuko is close to the entire Gaang postwar. But, for the sake of this potential ship let's say he's spending a lot of time with Sokka & Suki, visiting the Southern Water Tribe a lot, & when they visit, the time gets lost. Mai isn't the type to act outwardly jealous, but she feels left out because she doesn't really know them. Zuko wants to make her feel more included once he figures this out (possibly after she's acting snippy for no reason & he gets mad & eventually it comes out during an argument). So, he starts arranging double dates, & pushing Suki especially to do "girly bonding things" with Mai.

Okay, apparently you're not the only one who can spiral, Anon, because I started rambling about this poly ship way too much :) More thoughts below :)

Well, Mai isn't much for "girly bonding things" but perhaps someone tries to assassinate Mai on a failed outing that mostly involved bickering. She is after all the Fire Lady. Mai can obviously hold her own in a fight, but maybe she throws all her knives & they're surrounded or something. Suki kicks ass & Mai has an "oh shit she's hot" moment that she misinterprets as starting to like Suki platonically.

Mai & Sokka are actually the ones who bond over girly things, & it's completely accidental. Mai mentions a specific goth fashionista she admires & Sokka gets all excited because he thought Mai's Look was accidental & upon discovering that she has an interest in fashion, he invites her shopping. They get mani pedis & lunch & Mai actually enjoys hearing Sokka ramble on about the Southern Water Tribe versus Fire Nation culture, & clothes, & engineering, & everything else. She's quiet, so it's nice that someone else is doing all the talking, & there's not a lot of pressure.

The four of them become good friends. Then moments start happening between Mai & Suki. Lingering glances. Hand brushes that last too long. Games of footsie under the table at supper or beneath the blankets while sitting at the beach. Zuko & Sokka start having these moments too. Zuko tells himself it's nothing because Sokka is a guy & he doesn't like guys (he tries to forget a certain rebel boy who died during the war that he kissed a couple times in secret, that was nothing, he never thinks about it, or so he tells himself). Sokka is just a good friend, who listens when Zuko talks about how hard it is to have a sister he can't be close too, & makes Zuko laugh even when he feels like crying. It's nothing more than that. Right?

Sokka & Suki are both bi & they've talked about it privately & are open to involving Mai & Zuko in their relationship, but they don't know if Mai & Zuko are up for it. They agree not to bring it up, for fear of ruining the friendship. If Zuko & Mai are into it, they'll tell them. Zuko & Mai have a talk one night, & both admit that they're having these feelings. Zuko brings it up first & Mai shuts down, & Zuko starts freaking out thinking she's mad, so eventually she explains it's just that she's having some uncertainty too.

Zuko & Mai agree to try to move past these bisexual awakenings until one night Mai & Sokka are hanging out one on one. They get a little tipsy & Sokka makes Mai laugh really hard, which never happens. She falls onto his shoulder, & when she draws away, he kisses her. She's into it for a moment, then she runs away without a word. Mai tells Zuko what happened. They agree to keep their distance, for a while, but they never explain why. Katara tells Zuko that Sokka asks about him. Zuko pretends there's not a reason for the distance.

Time passes. The distance hurts. Sokka feels horrible & ashamed. Suki tells him it's not his fault, but he still feels bad. They agree not to tell their other friends, they wouldn't understand. Aang tries to ask both parties about it, & bring peace, but they blow him off. Toph always knows that these four are lying about something, she just doesn't know what. She tries to push them, & it leads to the biggest fight she & Zuko have ever had.

Then, something big happens. There's an assassination attempt & Zuko almost dies. He'll make a full recovery, but he's got a bad injury from getting shot with an arrow. The entire Gaang comes of course. Azula comes to check on Zuko, & that's weird, & Zuko wishes desperately that Sokka was around to ask advice.

Then, Sokka & Suki show up. In her excitement to see her old friend alive, Suki full on kisses Zuko on the lips right in front of Sokka & Mai. At first, Mai is shocked. Sokka starts laughing then, & Mai is even more shocked.

Well, finally, the truth starts to come out. Zuko says something about it being a good kiss, & that breaks the tension & they start to talk. Slowly, everyone slowly realizes that they should all just be together as a foursome, actually. Activities start to ensue right there in the hospital room, but Zuko's injury stops them. They realize that they should maybe talk more, actually. But they agree to all four spend the night together, & maybe cuddle, that night.