#i just feel fucking stupid.
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep and now i keep replaying things in my head and wishing i chose differently#like i could have not tried to get dinner i could have stayed at the bus stop#i could have ducked into a store to check my phone#i could have pretended to have a call i could have told like store security before the other person showed up#ugh#i could have lied better#i’m kind of rambling and ruining the vibe but if i can’t do that on my own blog where can i?#anyway. i tried to help and now i’m stuck and can’t get anything back from the banks either#big fear of police and i think they would just blame me anyway so no report and i have to do that via emergency line and i don’t want that#i just feel fucking stupid.#oh well.#i feel like whatever she’s going through she could probably use it more than me but damn i had plans for that
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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10% of danny rumors on campus are 100% true
#danny phantom#danny fenton#college au#sam manson#tucker foley#alcohol#drugs#danny is so stupid#and very very very drunk here#shitfaced in the way that only college kids can get#with their shiny unabused livers#i do like the idea that danny parties a lot in college as he tries to find himself#its a great way to be social and feel popular also make no close friends#sam and tucker just roll their eyes at his antics#its not any worse than he was in high school lmao#rip his lab partners tho#who the hell knows what happened in the nightmare realm#but it was absolutley not 'horror move dope' as danny put it#danny has a fucked up fear gauge lololol
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if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.
Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.
#assholes still do not deserve to be victims of bigotry#people will crow this up and down until they find someone they think is a big enough asshole to really deserve it#watch your cognitive dissonance kids#i really am only speaking to white people here. as a white person.#POC can feel however they feel.#though i still don't think it's an appropriate sentiment to turn into Political Praxis there is of course a need to vent#like idk i don't find any marginalised suffering under fascism funny. i think it's fucking sad.#i think it is sad when right wing gay people experience homophobia and i think it is sad when right wing trans people experience transphobia#and when right wing disabled people experience ableism and when right wing women experience misogyny#leopards eating faces is funny when it's about like. rich people or misogynists or whatever it's.#do you understand that this is punching down?#why are we wasting our energy hoping for the victimisation of specific marginalised people#this would be a great time to do some outreach but instead everyone is just fucking MOCKING THEM#you're so fucking stupid you don't care about The Cause you care about Winning#this shit makes me furious.#have some compassion#the system speaks#USpol#Trump#racism#politics
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katsuki hides his face in your neck when he gets embarrassed. that’s it send tweet.
#and not even like cutely too hes a fucking NUISANCE#like he’ll literally shove his head in there making full contact w ur chin too#And he does not care if you whine about it he’ll just grumble and squeeze you so u cant get away#and if hes feelin like an asshole (which is all the time) he’ll bite you#you’ll pay for making him feel this shame#Its all your fault he feels like this anyway so..🤷🏾♀️#hes just gettin his lick back#stupid dumb idiot#random katsuki thing on yr foreheads#i lub him smuch#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou fluff#bakugo katsuki x reader
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First two pages of a zaundads comic I'm making, I'll post next parts as I finish them and a whole thing when it's done
Part 1 | Part 2
God give me strength because this stupid thing was supposed to be 3-4 pages of obscure smut and now it is very much not 🫡
#my art#silco#arcane#vander#zaundads#silco arcane#silco art#vanco#vander arcane#young zaundads#young silco#young vander#zaundads art#ugh silco's eyeliner is doing things to me#vander fumbled so bad#i once again feel that my art style is not good enough#i know it is the way but for fuck sake its so tiring#just shut up and draw and don't think#why can't my brain stop fucking with me 🙄#oh well I'll get through it#save me Silco's stupid long nose save me
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Ok it turns out I ain't fucking finished here because it seems like everyone has stopped fucking talking about how @predstrogen @predesterone literally faced targeted harassment from terfs, nazis and the lolcow forms for YEARS to the point of her having to remake multiple times because she kept getting deleted due to mass report spamming and no matter how much she reached out to staff to ask them to help her they NEVER FUCKING LISTENED, then to further rub salt in the wound the ceo decided to personally delete @predesterone and ban her from tumblr for life just because Rita made a joke post wishing that the ceo would die in a car hammer explosion, then despite Avery not being on tumblr anymore the ceo took it upon himself to personally stalk her to twitter and breach data protection laws by revealing a bunch of blank blogs Avery had for shits and giggles just so he could keep personally harassing her, all this just for people to turn Avery's multiple year long harassment into "Ha ha another social media ceo had a meltdown!!! XDDDD" "CAR HAMMER EXPLOSION!!! XDDD", none of you actually care about the suffering of trans women and it fucking shows, you all make me feel sick!!!
#I feel stupid for having the slightest hope that people would actually take this situation seriously#but as always it seems the suffering of trans women is just one big fucking punchline to the wide majority of people#lozer post's#important#transgender#trans
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Ticklish
#My art#jizzie#lizzie ldshadowlady#ldshadowlady#ldshadowlady fanart#lizzie ldshadowlady fanart#Joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans fanart#smallishbeans fanart#fun fact when I started this sketch it wasn’t intended to be Jizzie. Then it turned into them as I drew. They infest my brain#Anyways. Love them#I’ve got a couple alt versions of this if anyone wants to see them. They’re just a couple different backgrounds and some little hearts but-#-they’re cute. Maybe I’ll attach them in a rb#Anyways I’m SUUUUPER proud of their face shapes here- especially Joel’s- I feel like I got them to look really good and somewhat feel like-#-their real face shapes while still being simple. Which I feel is impressive for such a STUPID angle GODS t was a pain. Turned out great-#-but UGH pissed me off once or twice there#Might also post some sketch layers too. Mainly because Joel’s happy trail was lost in the final version and I’m mourning it#Idk though. We’ll see how I feel in the morning 👍#Also happy new years I guess#I fucking HATED drawing Joel’s foot btw toes fucking SUCK TO DRAW they’re a fuckin pain. Stupid shaped appendage fr#I AM however very happy with their clothes. The skirt shape. The belt loops and seam on the pants. OUGH i like drawing clothes#Hermitcraft#hermitcraft art#hermitcraft fanart#life series#empires smp#uhhhh those last ones are just for reach I guess it’s not server specific#life series fanart#trafficblr
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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everybody moved on i stayed here
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/771849b644a06592309375b87ecdc6ce/d58aa30259c9bc5c-bb/s540x810/6ac0af8d41142a5cdbb6db28dbc8c7d69edc8983.jpg)
#i tried to find Sometjing of this to rb but nothing in my tags and stupid fucking search function so#have a screenshot original post i GUESS#refraining from doing a spam of this video just thinking about dan Thigh for Reasons but#i can still yap in the tags about it#this video still feels like a fever dream#i could write fucking essays on it and the journeys of their lives and how it all led to this moment#of phil actually almost dying and them having this private relaxed holiday to themselves immediately after#and what it means at this point in their lives and how it is possibly the Loudest thing they’ve ever shared about their relationship#even after tour and everything#i think about this holiday every day im so serious#ok sorry back to it#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dannie
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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how i imagine Minecraft Alex's personality to be like vs how i imagine Minecraft Steve's personality. duality of minecraft
#pinyatart#minecraft#minecraft steve#minecraft alex#im pretty rusty with drawing humans rn hhhhdhhhhsss..........#how i see it........#alex represents survival mode. she's more serious rational and focused on getting the resources needed to survive in an endless overworld#while steve represents creative mode. he's laid back chill and doesn't give a fuck and makes whatever stupid shit he feels like making#much to the annoyance of alex. he takes things way sillier than she does. they still kiss tho lmao#she sees an undescribable beauty and horror to the great twisting wilderness around her. he sees somewhere to fuck around and have fun in.#alex is a pro at survival and fighting while steve despite seeming pretty lazy is actually really fucking good at programming redstone tech#which kinda outstands alex cuz she always found it very difficult for her to wrap her head around with all those moving parts to it n such#alex is just pretty good at crafting weapons and survival gear. steve crafts the silly dumb shit for entertainment#anyways end of tag rambling seeya
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atla modern au where suki & zuko are life guards for the summer and sokka just keeps drowning
#i have the feeling sm already though of this bfr but i just had this idea & i LOVEIT#atla#zuko#sokka#suki#zukki#sukka#zukka#zuki#sm PLS write that im begging and crying#i just love the idea of these 3 being so fucking stupid#sokka faking the hell out of it and zuko is almost tired of his bullshit#keyword almost#sukis just having fun with all this#at some point theyll start taking turns to save him
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catch us if you can! ☆
#the drawings that made my ipad scream in agony#project sekai#polysho#polysho week 2024#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#pjsk#prsk#proseka#colorful stage#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#and tbh theyre pretty overt so#emukasa#ruinene#emks walk into a store in plain clothes and see rui and nene and emu goes Tsukasakun its the detectives we have to hide !!!!!#and tsukasa goes heh.. no need emu.. without our genius disguises snd hair extensions on they wont recognize a thing!!!#(both talking at 200db) (nene voice) Are they stupid?#ruis just a bit too happy about being consistently outsmarted to notice. emks is only winning at phantom thievery by looney tunes logic tho#Emukasa are just team rocket-ing it. and wxs miku much like the detestable Meowth#POLYSHOW WEEK IS KILLING ME AND I ONLY DID 2 DAYS#i drew this whole thing literally just bc i wanted emu in the phantom thief suit. everything else was secondary#my petition to abolish the costume gender lock#I NEVER WANT TO LOOK. AT ANY OF THESE FUCKING OUTFITS EVER AGAIN. EVERRRR. NIGHTMARE DRAWING.#COUGHS UP BLOOD AND GOES TO LESVE THE ROOM BUT I HIT MY HEAD ON THE DOORFRAME AND BLACK OUT.#this is gonna be a bitch to post on instagram with it's Stupid fucking Crop. Guh#FUCK I FORGOT TO PUT THE SHADOW ON THEIR STUPID HANDCUFF LINK dont care dont feel like it [coughs up more blood
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personal take on fem tsukasa
#no the white bow is not part of my vision...... my apologies#if i was more tsukasa literate id think more about how being a girl would change her character and how the people around her react to her#like. instead of 'oh shes surprisingly caring' maybe more like 'oh shes surprisingly disruptive as fuck' because of hashtag society#and hashtag gender roles and whatever#but like i said. not really that well versed on everything he has going on so im just gonna leave it at the design#ann art#prsk#pjsk#tsukasa tenma#femkasa#prsk fa#So stupid looking in every universe god bless#IG WHAT I MEAN IS being a role model of an older sibling and being responsible i feel are traits more expected in girls. so it wouldnt rly#be 'unusual' or unexpected of her to be like that. i think. idk.#among other things probably. like realistically a lot of her personality would be changed but ASSUMING its identical to the original.. what#sequence of events/reactions/perceptions would have to have happened to get there. yknow. maybe.#education major in several child psych/development courses in ur area ! my bad
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