#i just enjoy dying too much
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here is a collection of riptide drawings that i made a while ago but never posted ^_^
#just roll with it#jrwi#just roll with it riptide#jrwi riptide#potatart#gillion tidestrider#chip jrwi#jrwi chip#jay ferin#chip the bastard#jrwi grimm#grimm jrwi#anastasia jrwi#jrwi anastasia#bloodshot#queen jrwi#jrwi queen#niklaus hendrix#jrwi bloodshot#bloodshot jrwi#THE GRIMM DRAWINGS R SOME OF MY FAVORITES I GENUIENLY LOVED THAT ARC SO MUCH#I enjoy drawing grimm too!!!! i think hes funny and really interesting!!!!#i dont rekember what the wish he mwde to niklaus was but i thought it was rlly interesting how he cried when he was dying#ALSO I LOVE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHES EVERYTHING 2 ME#HIS BUNNY EARS.... NY GOD#there should be more grimm art methinks. hes some kind of beast#what if i gave the kindest eyes to a very Not Kind man
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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#agatha#agatha all along#can you tell that im so so soooooo bitter about the finale#like i get that some people loved it#good for you#i dont and i'm dying on this hill#yall have every right to be happy about it and talk about how happy you are about it!! but pls keep to your lane#i spent two hours going through the agatha all along tag and there were a handful of people going#the finale wasnt that bad look at the bright side you should be happy about how it ended#bitch. dont tell me how i should enjoy my media#why did she see the darkhold in the cradle and why that reaction?#'is the how nicky died' i dont understand how that prompted her to take such a huge risk#also??? why does rio wanna see agatha die so badly??#and when she did die where was rio? all that build up and fighting without any conclusion to it??#rio just disappeared no conclusion no confrontation not even a word before she kissed Rio and gave her what she wanted which is her death#the build up was really good but the pay off really fell flat and felt rush and agatha ended up feeling like shes sidelined in her own show#even when she had tons of screen time! it just fell flat like agatha deserves better she deserved change and growth and development#she deserved confrontation and facing her feelings not all this continued avoidance and shifting focus onto Billy#she's done too much to have this half assed conclusion to her arc that was built to set up someone elses story like the direction it went#was so gross like every other character had really well written and developed story arcs and conclusions and hers was just???? deflated???#im not even asking for a full on backstory about their relationship bc the show isnt about agatha x rio lmao#them having a happy ending doesnt make narrative sense. what im asking is simply tie up the threads they sewed into the narrative
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Umm I love them???
#SHE WAITED FOR HIM FOR 4 HOURS ON TOP OF THEIR MEET UP SPOT#THEIR MEET UP SPOT IS BIG BELLY BURGER AHHHH#I didn’t really ship jayrose too much before#but I’ve been scrolling down their hashtag and I love them so much#Die hard Rose fans will say they don’t belong together and Rose shouldn’t be reduced as a character for Jason’s benefit#Yeah I completely understand and mostly agree with you.#Mostly. So for now I’m just going to enjoy me some good soft Jayrose content :)#I absolutely think Rose should NOT be reduced as a character but I have to say they are v cute together#The “Promise?’’ “Promise.’’ made my heart flutter I don’t even know why 😭#I’m a sucker for couples who care about each other like this#She could have just left it at ‘be careful’#But no Jason had to promise her that he will come back to her#It’s just. So. Damn. Good#IM DYING OVER THEM FR#You know they’d die for each other and make jokes about death and daddy issues#And with their shared use of ✨violence✨#And just generally become THE power couple#jason todd#red hood#batfamily#batfam#dc#dc comics#Ravager#Rose Wilson#Jayrose#Jason x Rose#holy queue batman#red rambles
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comics are difficult to get into and the inconsistencies can be annoying/confusing and there is a lot of material to get through if you want to read major characters. but: it’s never so serious that you should let this stuff overwhelm you. just pick stuff up and try to figure out what’s going on. if you have a hard time going through a character’s reading order chronologically, just pick an event and read the issues for that specific story (trade paperbacks will make your life easier here). it’s literally not a commitment, tou can jump around however you like. reading comics isn’t homework, it should be fun
#I’ve always preferred reading single issues but I’ve heard ppl who don’t often read comics find trade paperbacks less overwhelming so!!#try that out. a lot of the classic storylines you here people reference may actually be very short! a lonely place of dying (tim’s intro &#debut as robin is 5 issues long. you’d be finished that before you finished a medium drink#not everything is no man’s land length (though. if you have fun with comics then you’ll work your way up to that probs! and you can always#read a few issues now and then some more in a few months and so on. no one can make you do anything in one particular way)#or come up with a list like ‘I want to read these characters’ introductions’#or if you’re only interested in the dynamic of certain characters…what’s stopping you from just jumping to stories relevant to that?#just have fun with it and read comics that seem fun. you might be surprised at how much you actually enjoy it when you’re not overwhelmed#way too many ppl say they would read if it didn’t seem so intimidating but guyssss you’re not getting graded on reading comics. just Start
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i am MORE than willing to admit that this specific issue that i have is entirely inconsequential, and that i care far too much about it because i have turbo autism and a sense of priorities divorced from reality
but i'm gonna keep talking about it anyway, it's my blog, you cannot make me log off and touch grass, i will never touch grass.
why is it that people are so weirdly intent on headcanoning june egbert as Literally anything other than a trans woman y'think.
why is it that after the june egbert plot spoiler was revealed there was just a massive influx of "j egbert" "enby any pronouns genderfuck" egberts lmao, like even when you're making the character transfem you have to keep in that masculine edge, never make her a pure trans woman. "don't worry it's okay you can still call him a guy"
like i don't wanna be mean to people who genuinely take joy in that interpretation of the character for any reason, but also i do not trust this fandom's track record with being normal about trans women specifically lmao
#juney.txt#i have so many bad takes about junecourse floating around in my head#specifically about the parallels with how irl transphobia has been applied to me#and how the fandom at large has handled june egbert as a concept#''can't we just call him by his initials and keep using he/him for him?''#i;m BEYOND aware this is inconsequential bullshit that i care far too much about. but also have you considered dying for my amusement?#prolly a fitting punishment for not enjoying this character in the same way as me i think
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how was the great gatsby musical?
overall, one of my favorite theatre experiences. to the level that i have been looping the cast recording nonstop since it came out last week
i do have a lot of specific points that i could talk So Long about with this show, most of which i'll put under a read more, but first: casting
anyway. spoilers for the great gatsby musical (things that were changed from the book for the production)
the 'main four' being Jeremy Jordan, Noah J Ricketts, Eva Noblezada, and Samantha Pauly, were all absolutely incredible. show stopping in their own ways. i was genuinely so scared that when i saw it that any of these 4 wouldn't be on, but i got so lucky and all of them were!! i am 100% convinced that many of the songs were written just to showcase certain actors voices (jeremy jordan).
let me tell you. getting to see jeremy jordan and eva noblezada live was unlike anything i've ever seen before. i was like. genuinely honored to be there. their stage presence, their voices, their acting ability, oh man... and Samantha Pauly was just incredible, and her big number was so. show stopping. Noah J. Ricketts was amazing the whole time, but his emotion in finale as he was saying the lines that are basically quoted exactly from the book... yeah i cried.
but so many other actors were also so amazing! John Zdrojeski as Tom was so good at the role, because Tom really was genuinely awful, but not in like an evil villain way, because he's much more realistic than that. i also find that a lot of times Tom is kinda seen as stupid or whatever for not noticing a lot of things going around him but in the musical he really like. could tell what was going on. and he worked his way into finding out secrets (kinda more on this later bc of my favorite song)
another main this was just. the design. Linda Cho costumes MY BELOVED im so glad she won the tony because this show DESERVED IT. it was definitely a glorified image of what those 1920s outfits would actually be, but most musical theatre isn't meant to be an exact replica of history, it's meant to dramatize it, and Linda Cho understands the assignment when it comes to costumes. the lighting and scenic design were also just incredible, especially their use of the green light shining from across the bay...
the show started out with Gatsby onstage, reaching for the green light. a set piece is moved across the stage, passing in front of him, Nick standing where Gatsby was. within that moment i was like "if they don't end the show with Nick standing there, the set piece passing in front, and leaving Gatsby behind, reaching for the green light, then what is the POINT" and then they DID and it was just as great as i'd imagined.
there were definitely changes to the story to adapt it to the stage, which i actually enjoyed (i've read the book, but didn't love it mostly due to a bad experience with reading it in school so. yeah). it is kinda more romance-centric in the first act, which i have heard people complain about, but i kinda see reasoning for it. yes, the first act is very much centered around the various relationships (especially the romantic ones), and in the second act, while certain characters (mostly gatsby) try to keep it centered on the romance, there is a much bigger, darker story going on all around them. so i really liked that meta perspective of it.
they also gave a lot more character to mr wilson (idr his first name), effectively intertwining him with both Gatsby and Wolfsheim as he, from the very beginning, plans to move him and Myrtle away from the city (its been a hot sec since i read the book, so idr if that's there but i don't think it is).
the relationship between Nick and Jordan is also taken a lot further in the musical, to the point where they are engaged, but after Myrtle's death, it gets broken off. this is because, in this version, Jordan ends up lumped in with both Tom and Daisy, in with the old money. throughout most of the show she is much more aware of society and doesn't want any part of what her role 'should' be, but when things go south, she is just as quick as the others to abandon what's 'right' in favor of what's better for her. and ik some people might not like that change but i actually did.
Myrtles character is also taken a lot further in this, which i find really fascinating. she is given her own big number right before her death as she tried to go after Tom, saying that he'll leave Daisy and marry her instead, but then she realizes she'll become just like Daisy in that situation, and the only choice is 'love or money.' she eventually decides that she wants to go back to her husband, and the moment she turns back, she is killed. this was Such a big number and, looking back, might be one of my favorites story-wise.
while i absolutely adored most everything, genuinely, the music was by far my favorite part (besides maybe jeremy jordan and eva noblezada...) a personal thing for me was that Every. Single. Song. has SUCH a good bassline. man i need the sheet music for this show. (side note: i got to talk to the show's bass player for a few minutes after the show! i was super nervous about it but im glad i did. he was super nice)
there's def a mix of more modern showtune styles, along with bringing in a lot of jazzy elements, which was GREAT. i love jazz. like i mentioned before, certain songs were definitely written for actor's voices (Past is Catching Up to Me) which is absolutely not a bad thing because they were AMAZING
two of my favorite songs were 'Only Tea' and 'Made to Last.'
only tea is when Gatsby is stressing about Daisy coming over for tea. this was hilarious. I kid you not jeremy jordan jumped a fence at the end. it was iconic. (you can Feel the nerves in just the cast recording alone).
made to last takes place in the scene in the Plaza. it's mostly Tom, revealing the secrets he learned about how Gatsby got his fortune, then Gatsby trying to get Daisy to tell Tom she doesn't love him. there are So Many Good lines in this song (everyone kinda drags Tom a lot its great) but this is where the characterization of Tom was really just. top notch. because he really is freaking Awful. but he's also smart and not going to let go of what he owns (not good that he considers Daisy a possession though...), and he knows exactly what is going to happen to Gatsby--he's not Made to Last.
(also the song Shady is iconic. spinny tailcoats)
another just. singular line that i need to draw attention to, sung by mr wilson (he has multiple songs directed to the Eyes of God), and this line is right when he decides to go after Gatsby. "God sees everything but he's slow on his commands/You've got the eyes of God, Doc/Who's gonna be his hands?"
(this line is reprised in the middle of Gatsby's song right before the gun goes off. fun fact)
i'm sure there are So Many Other Things i could talk about (i s2g i could write 13 essays about this show) but in general like. while it wasn't groundbreaking to the theatre, it was still Such a good show and absolutely deserves better yknow. attention then it's getting. like jeremy jordan is here for a Reason this is a Good show. and mostly this is my begging people to listen to the cast recoding because its SO GOOD.
anyway. if anyone has questions about specific things i am So Happy to talk but here's a lot of my more general thoughts... (god i haven't even Talked about Eric Anderson as Wolfsheim...)
#constance answers#asks#the great gatsby#the great gatsby musical#i brought my flapper dress to new york just to wear to this show and it was Worth it#i did not stage door because i knew it was gonna be crazy but its ok because i talked to the bass player instead.#also i enjoyed sitting next to my mom during this show. because she didn't know the story pretty much at All.#so during intermission she said to me 'i don't know what but i feel like something bad is going to happen. this is too happy'#and i tried to get her to guess What would happen but she didn't.#and then watching the end... everything from myrtle dying all the way to the murder/suicide...#lets just say it took her until After that to realize that the edge of the stage was decorated to look like a pool#it is idk how late at night rn so sorry if this is not at all coherent#one more thing: the shirt i bought from this show is the best musical shirt i have Ever owned. its so pretty
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examining your relationship with your art can be fun
but watch out
#examine too hard and you'll have a crisis#or *another crisis if you're like me#sometimes yeah i think about it too hard and then i get the intense prey instinct#to chuck my tablet into a field and then take off sprinting in the other direction#though i know id just come creeping back like a cautious but curious deer. get a little closer. run away#closer. jump back. poke the tablet and run away. come back and poke it again.#its the 'what am i doing? am i doing what i want to do? am i enjoying this? is it hurting me?'#will admit i have these thoughts every other day#ill have like a good bit of fully enjoying art & what im scribbling#and then suddenly ill wake up the next day and its terrifying and Too Much and huh??? HUH???#i want to draw but im so so scared <3 but im being sooooo brave about it <3#anyway i think we should all destroy our electronics and run screaming into the woods#OH MY GOD SOON I CAN DO THAT.#not the electronics - i mean the running into the woods part#oh im so excited. when its all too much i can just walk in nature with no one around#that Will fix me! for sure!#when the Art Fear™️ comes back i can just... go away for a few hours and touch some motherfucking grass#AND MAYBE FORAGE SOME CHICKEN OF THE WOODS. I AM DYING TO HARVEST WILD CHICKEN OF THE WOODS.#LITERALLY HAS BEEN A LIFE GOAL FOR YEARS NOW#when the Art Fear™️ creeps in i can get some big chickeney mushrooms and cook em up. refresh my soul....#absolutely unprompted#but yeah sometimes i wonder if im drawing for myself or others. like drawing for others is fine but... i think there's a fine line#am i balancing it? am i Indulging enough? am i doing what i want to do enough???#are my people-pleaser tendencies consuming me again? am i feeling Pressure? hm. yeah its crisis time#am i living how i want. am i enjoying how i want. am i interacting with welcome home the way i want to.#i think im going to go do the dishes....
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I shouldve been asleep HOURS ago, instead I did the exo tierlist....
#dont kill me dys lovers#hes good for plot and I feel like theres just no way around sol n dys being at least good friends.... n they have such beautiful potential-#to be SO messy together no matter what their relationship. I have many brainworms about this.#but jesus christ the kid pissed me off. hes so immature. hitting him with hammers.#tammy just talks about babies too much.... it squicks me out. I wouldve loved 2 romance her shes got a cute design but alas#me n seeq have a lovehate relationship too... cus.. on one hand... older nonbinary chara... but also. so insufferable. and ugly outfit.#on second thought congruence could be in good egg category also#auntie tirah up there purely for her cool hair and winning at polyamory#why is sols mom so stupid hot#vace makes me wish this was DA2 and we could start racking up points in the opposite direction <3 but I also enjoy certain parallels betwee#him n sol.... I want to be Rivals#rex is best boy marz just has a really good character arc(Even though were not really essential to it at all lmao besides mechanically)#funfact I romanced her on my first play after dys became too insufferable <3#I didnt even know sym existed.... only found him thru browsing the wiki like mid second run. just too good at the game ig didnt need saving#cus like.... my first run was literally all exploration all the time.... how the fuck did I not even SEE HIM#texted post
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nah, i'm not letting the reveal distract me from the cruel jokes made once again about sharon and the fact that alice also died for nothing
#agatha all along spoilers#maybe i'm just a ball of cynicism but all the sapphic crumbs disney is baby bird feeding us in the world#will make me forget that once again sharon davis is made the butt of a cruel joke the main character makes#and someone died trying to save a person who kept saying she was hoping to kill them to steal their power#maybe i'm taking this too seriously but it is seriously super effed the way a normal everyday woman is tortured#and then brutually killed and then still can't get away from being mocked and ridiculed?#wandavision was emphatically on the side of wanda torturing people and i hate that#and aaa is not that much better. i like it a lot more as a show and i am enjoying it#but alice being killed kinda put a damper on it. especially since her character growth in the last ep#i'm not upset over a character dying when it was established that that was a possibility#it's just that. after so much being said about agatha stealing their magic and rio wanting bodies#the fact that that's what happened when it seemed like maybe agatha was growing instead of alice dying for something that matters?#ehhh#i don't know. i'm trying to hold off feelings until the show is over but it's bugging me#agatha all along
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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I.... I.... I think you mean Iowa, not Idaho...
#daisy has a minor meltdown over geography in a fic#it doesn't change the story at all - just two quick references in several chapters#but....a little piece of me is dying inside because it doesn't make much sense to use idaho but it would make sense to use iowa#sorry but huge weather systems don't really move from Oklahoma to Idaho#certainly not the same ones that are moving to Nebraska too#there's a LOT of space between those areas#multiple states and hundreds of miles#even from Oklahoma to Nebraska you have to go through Kansas#i just......#this is me complaining on tumblr with anonymity rather than being a bitch in the comments of a fic that i am truly enjoying and loving
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Bee,,,,,,,, I am ill. NyQuil. Dies
Anyway, your mailman never slacks off !!!
That.
That’s not mail. That’s.
Okay.
Oh wowie!! (Never let me say that ever again.) Gressil and Raven from Ms. Freaky’s Instagram page!!! (I am anti Instagram, it is mean to me)
Raven not being a boykisser is going to ruin my whole career… I am dying… even more than I already was………………………………
When I tell you I RAN OVER TO THE SELFIE WEBSITE I DONT REALLY USE
MORE CANON SEXUALITIES!!!!!
Also dearest mutual with no name.... you neglect the potential of a QPR.
I don't have the brain power to ID rn so if screen reader is being used or picture isn't loading: Ms. Freaky released two new artworks with the characters either holding a flag or with a flag on their cheek for their canon sexualities! GRESSIL is bisexual, Gladiolus/Raven is straight, Poppy is pansexual, Oak is bisexual, and Nightshade/Bella is a lesbian!
#Homesick webtoon#fambles#asks#quintessential-candles#Tell my why it autocorrected nightshade to nightstand#Live-blogging about being sick is entertaining enjoy yourself <3#(<- girl who does that too but just makes a normal post and then explains how she is Dying with too much Detail in tags)#Good news is I'm probably not dying anymore we probably know what was wrong <3#Missed period for like twelve weeks but she came back so I probably just had/have another cysts which explains why I was in pain days ago#I don't get cramps but my organs like to try and kill me. You win some you lose some#I just realized something both of the white haired/silverish haired characters are straight#I doubt that was intentional but that's silly to me. This happens a LOT in media (like Space Boy yes that's another Webtoon I've#Hyperfixated on in the past don't come at me)#Mailman sage#Mailman saga#How did I forget to tag the mailman editing tags#It's. Saga not safe.#SAGE NOT DAFE#SAFE. SAFE I MEANT SAFE.#I'm not fixing those tags
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I must admit I'm getting this horrible image in my head of Tarn as that type of creepy guy who donates way too much money to a streamer and then absolutely loses it when he hears they're not single.
That's probably accurate lol. Although unlike (seemingly) most people in this fandom, I blame Megatron more for turning Tarn into that kind of obsessed freak than I do Tarn for being a freak. I mean, my view is basically "you reap what you sow/the monster you created turned around and bit you" so I don't really have sympathy for Megatron with regards to Tarn showing up and ruining his life lol. I actually really like the DJD coming in MTMTE as basically the living embodiment of karma and Megatron's comeuppance about not being able to run away from/ignore his past.
Like blah blah "no matter how sad your backstory is you're still responsible for your own actions" but also Megatron is literally 100% the reason Tarn is Like That, and Megatron also used parasocial manipulation, propaganda, and his grandiose personality to manipulate the Decepticons into worshipping/following him without question. So like. It's fiction, I don't have to be all "well they're all problematic" I can just be like "lol, lmao even" and point and laugh as Megatron gets fucked up by Tarn and the DJD because he can't talk his way out of this problem.
#squiggle answers#i'm not mad at you or thinking you're saying anything#i'm just very fond of dying of the light and i enjoy megatron suffering#i love how dying of the light is like megatron's personal torment nexus of getting trapped by his bad decisions#but also getting other people dragged down with him by accident#and then he's so fucking pathetic that he can't even compromise his 'pacifism' to save those people he dragged down#and then he lashes out in anger and becomes violent and hateful again and slaughters the whole DJD#i love that shit. love when megatron is fucked up and dysfunctional#i'm not saying i wanted him to become WORSE and like die a horrible fate per se#i'm just saying that i disagree with most of the fandom when they're like aww let this old man rest and tarn should fuck off he's a loser#i'm like nah. put megatron in the blender. don't let him just suddenly decide to be a pacifist and then that's it. make him fuck up#ough sorry it's just. i like megatron getting better but i also like him staying bad lol#like i want him to get redeemed but i also still want him to be fucked up and full of anger and hatred. if that makes sense#but yeah. not to be a tarn defender or anything but like#sometimes the fandom seems like it listened too much to the part where megatron was like#'i was happy i was at peace and you ruined everything'#meanwhile i'm sitting there like: yeah they ruined it. and so what. it's your fault. you don't get to be peaceful and happy#when you still have mistakes that you need to address and do something about instead of running away#muah. muah. muah. love dying of the light#i wanted to rip megatron apart from being so pathetic but i was also like. awww sad old man#mostly i wanted to rip him apart tho lol
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happy one year to her and one of my better opening lines for a fic <3
now, because i'm curious:
#to hell and back again#i genuinely can't believe it's a year but i guess that's how time works huh :')#anyway umm gonna leave some retrospective thoughts in the tags:#1. i hold this fic near to my heart but also have a very complicated relationship with it now-#mostly bc i feel like my writing has improved so much and it's hard for me to reread parts of this lol#2. i honestly feel like it's a product of its time? like i think if i was publishing it now people wouldn't like it nearly as much#(especially with the opening line wHICH HAS A POINT AND COMES FULL CIRCLE AT THE END OK JUST TRUST ME)#3. on a sadder note this also means it's been a year since we had to put my family's eldest dog down#i remember i was gonna post this first chapter later when i had finished another fic up#but then our dog just like. straight up started dying on my mom's bedroom floor#and my mom was too distressed/upset to take her to the vet so i had to put her in my car and take her on my own#and then had to go to work right after that#so yeah i was upset and was like 'well dammit im gonna post this then bc it's silly and makes me laugh and i am sad'#so yeah!! some thoughts and behind the scenes info for anyone who's bothered to read this many tags#idk these things just feel like Tags thoughts not Post thoughts#anyway thanks for all the love this one has gotten!! i'm glad people are still enjoying it though *will voice* it's been a year mike#byler
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good news: i made enough progress in my target language that im like probably b1 level. unfortunately this does mean i am stuck in the hell that is the intermediate plateau
#crunchyposts#lang#GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT#I JUST HAVE TO KEEP UP THE WORK AND ILL GET OUT BUT OH MY GOD THIS IS FRUSTRATING#i know im decent at this now but like oighjsdghjksjgshgfdhd when im lost it feels like my brain is dying#also im still at the stage where it Hurts if im studying too much and that sucks bc im enjoying it but my brain hurts#get me up to c1 please so it stops hurting. i love this language
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