#i just don't know if i think francis has ever had someone tell him they love him and not hurt him all the while

[quidfree]

hey! so you’ve mentioned francis’ sexual traumas a few times and while they are brought up a little bit in the book i still can’t pinpoint his exact situation. could you talk more about your feelings on the matter?

tw: sexual trauma and generally bad childhoods

yeah, canon really doesn't give us much about the wild life and times of its cast but it does crucially tell us about his childhood stay in what was basically an institution. and francis himself tells richard outright that the kids there were coerced to fabricate their sordid sexual misconduct just to placate the adults. from what ik abt that type of place back then & the subpar parenting vibes olivia gives i don't doubt francis was exposed to very adult concepts of sexuality, relationships, and mental issues way too young.

the rest of it is just me riffing on backstory, but i imagine given the kind of culture and society he grows up in, not to mention the inherent shaming and confusion in that space associated with his being born of his sister-mom (in airquotes) who had a teen fling with a nobody and then whisked him chaotically around the globe while his grandparents raised them both, francis has subzero shot of going into any relationships with a healthy mindset. not to mention hes growing up definitively gay in the 70s. all of his relationships are clandestine. the only canonical one we see is with an ambiguously straight guy who only hooks up with him drunk and we later find out said guy turns very ugly when he's drunk. and we know francis maintains that relationship long after all we see of charles-francis is charles abusing him verbally while francis takes it.

if we're veering a little further from canon my 2 cents are that francis' early sexual history undoubtedly includes very dubious firsts with people who should not be sleeping with him, closeted teachers or older students etc. i don't imagine his formative experiences were good for his psyche given what he settles for later.

that's not to say every single encounter he's ever had was mired in tragedy. he is evidently genuinely flirtatious and refreshingly frank about it for the times when you think about the moves he makes on richard- i would optimistically venture that this shows he's had fun with his flings too. maybe even charles, before it all went south. who knows what his relationship with kim was like before his grandfather caught them. but as a rule given francis Does live in fear of being caught out by his surrogate parental unit and his anxiety / paranoia is generally exacerbated exponentially by the murders i don't think he has a great chance of having had any meaningful, long-term, open-your-heart connections, at least not post hampden. not because historical gayness dooms you to furtive dark rooms but because that's francis' canonical cross to bear, at least by close of canon.

[s1m0nth3swag]

Francis Mosses x GN!Reader

AUTHORS NOTE; Haven't written in a while, but thanks to Arlo, a friend (Hi Arlo, I know you're reading this), Inspiration about Francis Mosses struck (he bought me That's not my neighbor and then continued to freak out about Francis with me) so I wrote this. I have so many thoughts about Francis, so... tell me if you want more because i will deliver ngl. Enjoy (or don't, I don't dictate your feelings)

WARNINGS/ CONTENT INFO; Porn with little to no plot, Submissive Francis, a little non-consensual at the start (but not in a super weird way, imo?), Gender neutral reader (no pronouns used, tried to write as GN as possible with the compliments and thoughts about Readers appearance), not proofread nor have I thought about this much, more a drabble than an actual thoughtful story (not apologising because I had such a long break from writing anything and obviously it's gonna suck a little when I come back)

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!

The first time Francis had realised that he hadn't gotten any touch from another human being was when someone brushed up against him on his way home from work. He had felt like a creep afterwards because he hadn't stopped thinking about what could've happened if the person hadn't moved away and had just stayed pressed against him. That was a week before you started your job as a doorman.

The second time Francis had noticed was when a friend of his had spoken to him on the phone, talking about his new girlfriend. Said friend gave too much intel on their sex life. Francis had wondered if he could have someone the way his friend explained - he quickly brushed the thought off. That was two days before you started working as a doorman.

The third time, he noticed when you had smiled at him. It was your first day, and he was tired from work. You had repeated his name after reading it off of his ID, and he had looked at you for the first time since his eyes kept falling closed, and you smiled so brightly. You had told him his name was nice, and you said it again. Francis swore that the way his name rolled off your tongue was the most beautiful thing he's ever heard. Not even an angel could sound more wonderful. Suddenly, he was a lot more energised. Totally not thanks to the fact that he had immediately grown hard the second he had seen your smile. He had gone to his apartment that night and had jerked off for the first time in probably months. He had always been too tired to previously, but now he couldn't stop thinking about how you'd sound moaning his name. Maybe you were more of a groaner, or you'd whimper and whine. He came as he imagined how you'd look sucking his dick.

Since then, Francis has always looked forward to entry checks. What had normally kept him away from his bed and a good night's sleep was now the best experience of his day. He loved the way you spoke to him even though he was too nervous to respond. Sometimes, he deliberately didn't show his ID at first, just so you'd ask about it, and he could listen to you talk a little more. He felt guilty about it. He knew you had never agreed to feed into this weird little obsession of his. It was awful of him to do this - have you talk to him enough to give him more scenarios to think about that night.

A few weeks after all this had started, Francis had built up the courage to finally ask you out. Just something simple, dinner at his place. He had to cook for himself all the time. Cooking for you as well wouldn't be too different, right?

Francis was wrong. He was anxious that the food wouldn't taste good and kept tasting it just so he could make sure it hadn't mysteriously switched tastes in the last 20 seconds. When you knocked on his door, he took a minute to make sure he didn't look like a mess - though you wouldn't mind either way since he always looked like a mess when he came through during your shifts.

You looked so good when he opened the door. Your hair fell perfectly, your lips looked a little too kissable, and Francis had to stop his train of thought just so he wouldn't embarrass himself by having yet another boner caused by just the way you looked. You were a little shorter than him, smiling up as he let you inside.

"You look good." He mumbled, his cheeks flushing. He seriously had to lay off thinking like a high-schooler. His nervousness and awkwardness were getting really annoying - to him, at least. You grinned, chuckling softly as you took off your shoes. "Thank you. You do as well." His heart for sure burst at that - he knew something else would burst as well if he didn't stop thinking right this second.

Throughout the evening, ignoring his thoughts came easier and easier. The two of you had eaten, you had told him he was a good cook, he had almost excused himself to the bathroom because of it. Now you were sitting on the couch, drinking wine and talking casually.

"You know, when you first walked through, I swore I would die." You giggled, looking at him with a mischievous look. Francis was confused by that statement. "How come?" He asked, tilting his head at you in question. "I was sure you were a doppelganger. You looked too handsome to be real." You cheekily answered, cheeks slightly flushed as you downed your wine. Francis blushed heavily, looked away from you, and thought about your words for a moment. The silence was loud as he wondered what to answer. "..you think I'm handsome?" He questioned while looking at the floor. If he had looked at you, he'd have seen the way you stared at him, your own cheeks coloured a deep red. "Extremely." You muttered. It took him a minute before he could look at you, but when he did, his lips pressed against yours in a desperate kiss.

When you reciprocated, Francis groaned and pulled you closer until you sat on his lap. He was just a tiny bit embarrassed when you gasped and felt his dick press against you. In all honesty, he had held back the entire night, and he was allowed a little selfishness. "Sorry. Can't help it." He muttered between kisses. You just grinned against his lips before grinding against him. A whimper fell from his lips - that was the moment he was actually embarrassed. "That's cute.." You had mumbled, a cheeky grin on your face as you started placing kisses against his jaw and neck. One of your hands trailed down his body to rest right over his crotch, Francis unconsciously bucked his hips up against your hand, whining. He didn't notice anything else as you caught the skin of his neck with your teeth carefully, leaving the softest bite mark on him. He shuddered at the feeling and gasped before realising that you had meanwhile unzipped his pants. A groan slipped from his lips as you ran a finger over his dick, still hidden from sight by his boxers, but god knows he would cum the second you'd touch it without. "Is this okay?" You asked him, and he nodded faster than he even knew he could. "Yes. God, yes. Please, please continue.." he muttered, his breathing heavy as he watched you slide off his lap, settling in front of him and between his legs. His dick twitched at the sight, and he let out a heavy sigh. Minutes later, his pants and boxers were discarded, and the way you looked up at him, his dick so close to your face, made Francis feel the way his orgasm was approaching way too quick. The second you wrapped your hand around him he whined pathetically, bucked up into your hand and knew that he'd definitely cum too soon. Your hand was so soft, cool against his hot flesh, and you worked his dick so good he almost thought you were a professional. He looked down at you through lidded eyes, watched the way you bit your lip, and grinned knowingly. "Such a pretty boy, huh?" You chuckled, and that definitely sealed the deal for Francis. He came, probably ruining his shirt as he dirtied both it and your hand. His heart stopped for a second when you licked your hand while looking up at him. "You didn't give me enough time to taste you properly. Don't look at me like that." You huffed, rolling your eyes at him. "You should probably take off your shirt so you can clean it later." You then winked. He swiftly shed the piece of clothing, entranced by your voice and the way you looked. "Sorry, didn't mean to cum that fast.." he mutters, his voice out of breath. "Jus'.. unused to... this.." he added, clearing his throat awkwardly. You laughed and shook your head. "Don't worry about it. We have all the time in the world to make you last longer. I'm gonna give you a real reason to be tired tomorrow." You winked.

Francis didn't even mind that he was in for a long night.

Your honour I am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

[twilightkitkat]

Ok so if technically there are 2 Logans alive in the timeline rn (which doesn't make sense thank you Marvel)

How do you think they would interact if they met each other

Assuming that Logan is still alive and just in Mexico or Canada hiding out, I think it'd be interesting as hell if he heard about a Wolverine dupe. Because he definitely didn't live in the city and judging from the rumors, they wore a yellow suit and had his signature tufted hair. ...Which he was very much not sporting right now.

Deadpool's Timeline is before the Westchester Incident so Charles isn't yet classified as a weapon of mass destruction, even if the government is definitely wary of him. Therefore, Logan could justify leaving for a bit to investigate these rumors (if just for old times' sake and for an excuse to check up on the X-men).

He expects them to be, like most things, incredibly fake.

Except when he does some digging... they don't seem to be entirely fabricated? One guy even showed him the scars from claw marks that looked identical to his own, but Logan knew damn well he wasn't in the area at the time. Much less infiltrating a drug ring.

He snoops around and hears rumors that this new Wolverine sticks close to Deadpool. That's... an interesting name. It's vaguely familiar, and something in him recognizes it, but he can't quite place where he heard it.

But the way people react to the name "Deadpool" is telling enough. Even people who are entrenched in the underground look around warily, as if afraid to give out too much information. People are hesitant to speak, fearful of the idea of him alone.

But Logan's nothing if not persistent. He settles down in a seedy bar where he knows shady business happens and listens. If this guy was as big of a deal as people act, he should pick something up.

Soon enough, the name pops up.

"I'm thinking of hiring Deadpool for this job, actually," some sleazy rich guy remarks as he leans back in his chair. Logan's senses lock onto the conversation immediately.

"Really? Isn't that a little excessive? You know how expensive he is these days," his companion replies.

"But there's a reason he's in demand. It's a two-for-one deal these days, you know," another person at the table adds.

"Exactly," the guy nods, "Deadpool is already a force to be reckoned with on his own, but with Wolverine? They're unstoppable."

"I once saw them fight," someone nearby pipes up, "it was terrifying."

"Deadpool alone is terrifying. Did you hear what happened to Francis?" someone murmurs.

By the end of the night, Logan has a rough idea of what he's working with. Deadpool seems to be a mercenary who's well-known for getting the job done for the right price, no matter how gruesome it is. He's also someone you'd hate to cross and who would stop at nothing to get revenge, which apparently became known after he killed some bigshot named Francis.

Deadpool was definitely... interesting, to say the least (it isn't often that a mercenary is feared more than major organization leaders) but it wasn't what he came for. No, the real piece of information was that his copycat seemed to hang around Deadpool. The two were inseparable, they'd said.

"The Wolverine" apparently showed up out of the blue one day and has been trailing after Deadpool ever since. The two seemed to be partners of sorts, and Wolverine never made any appearances in battles where Deadpool wasn't present. Rumors seem to be that Deadpool hired him or that he owed Deadpool a great debt, although some people who've encountered them whisper that they might be something much deeper. Lovers, almost.

Logan snorted. What was the point of someone dressing like him if all they were gonna do was run around with a mercenary helping on missions? No evil scheme, no grand imitation, and the guy didn't even make public appearances. Maybe he was just a fanboy or some shit.

Although he wasn't as wary anymore, something in him still felt the need to investigate further. And luckily, he knew who was going to hire Deadpool next and the job he was gonna give. All he had to do was intercept.

And so he did.

He turned into the alleyway to see some guy in a red suit and... himself?

It wasn't just a realistic copy. It was an honest-to-god clone. He smelled like him, looked like him, moved like him. He had adamantium claws like him and the exact same build. Except this guy actually fucking shaved from time to time and still kept his hair up.

"Ohhh, looks like we have a visitor, Wolvie," Deadpool chirped.

Wolverine shook his head, "Damn it, I told you he was gonna drop by to check on the rumors eventually. It's what I would've done."

"...Who are you?" Logan asked warily, tensing up.

"I'm Deadpool, as you probably already know, and this is you! Well, you from another universe. Say hi!" the man in red dramatically gestured to Wolverine, who grumbled in irritation.

"From another universe?" Logan crossed his arms.

"Yeah, bub. Believe it or not, I don't care. But we're not here to cause trouble, I'm just stuck with this lunatic here so there's two of us right now." Wolverine insulted him, but let Deadpool lean over to wrap an arm around his shoulder, whining about how he chose to stay here so he was stuck by choice.

It was... a lot to take in. Logan didn't really know how to feel about it. It was odd seeing another version of him so close to someone. He forgot what it felt like, to be like that with people. Hell, even when Scott and Jean were alive, he wasn't like that. He fucked off most of the time and they were happy to ignore him until something serious happened.

It was also odd to see another, apparently older, version of him look... so much younger. Well, younger wasn't the right word, but energized? Less depressed? He still had wrinkles on his forehead and a hardness in his eyes, but it was softer. Like he had something to live for and fight for. (Something Logan hadn't in a while.)

Somehow, the other version of him was both more and less jaded. He had a vaguely haunted look on his face when Logan mentioned the X-men, one even Logan himself didn't quite understand the depths of. He'd clearly been through some shit in his original world, maybe even more fucked up than his own trauma.

But it was like someone sanded down those jagged edges. Until they stopped cutting into him every time he sifted through his emotions.

(Logan never had anyone do that for him, not really. Jean cared, vaguely, but she prioritized Scott and was more focused on her own life than Logan's baggage. Charles cared too—he'd taken him in and made sure he had the necessities—but he had so many children that there was only so much attention he could give to a rugged stray. He didn't ever manage to file down his sharp ridges, he just kept cutting himself and hoping one day it'd get easier. That he'd get used to it.)

When he sees the soft look in Wolverine's eyes as he looks at Deadpool, Logan thinks he knows who's responsible.

[david-talks-sw]

No, George Lucas is not a "traitor"

You may have seen angry tweets and thumbnails such as these, in the last few days.

Context - Disney is going through a proxy battle, and George Lucas sent out a statement that read as follows:

So immediately, all the grifting influencers who based their entire platform around the narrative that "Kathleen Kennedy & Disney betrayed Lucas' legacy" banded together and agreed that the new line was:

"Fuck George Lucas, he betrayed us and betrayed himself. Lucas sided with his own abusers!"

Here's why this line of thought is absolutely childish and uninformed.

1- Get real, he's a shareholder, of course he'll say this.

I don't need to expand on this, do I?

He owns stock. Someone threatens your money, you defend the money. The question becomes: why does he think that sticking with Disney CEO Bob Iger will result in more profit than siding with?

Variety theorizes that it may be because Nelson Peltz has admitted that he has no media experience. 

And if that's the case? I'm not surprised at all, because...

2- George has always hated amateur studio execs

The following is me simplifying a lot... but George's relationship with studios has never been a good one.

When he was working at American Zoetrope, with Francis Ford Coppola, they were commissioned to adapt George's short film into a feature, THX-1138. The studio execs didn't like it and forced Francis to refund them the money (which is why he agreed to direct The Godfather, to get out of debt).

Moving on to American Graffiti (1973). When George writes Graffiti, he shops it around to studios and they all essentially told him to go fuck himself.

"American Graffiti went around to every single studio twice and they all said, "It's not a movie, there's no story, and there are no movie stars in it." And Star Wars— it was, "What in the world is this? Wookiees and robots? I don't get it." [...] It'd be hard to make a movie [like American Graffiti or Star Wars] today in the system because all these middle management people get in there and interfere in the process. I think that's much worse for filmmakers than it's ever been in the past." - Star Wars Insider #43, 1999

Except Universal. But throughout the process they're being irritants.

They object to the title because they don't know what it means.

The president is convinced it's a bad movie to a point where when he sees audiences cheer for it in test screenings, he argues they're paid actors.

They force Lucas to trim 5 minutes out of the film. Why? Just because.

This approach the studio execs were taking comes from the fact that none of them were artists. At this point in time, studios had been and were being bought by corporations who thought they could make a quick buck in the movie business.

Eg: Warner Bros wasn't run by the Warner brothers anymore. Paramount was now a subsidiary of Gulf+Western.

So when he's receiving notes, they're coming from - you guessed it - amateurs who think they know what they're talking about, but in reality have no clue. They did market research and think they know everything.

This subject is covered in The Offer (2022), a series about the making of The Godfather (reeeeally good show, I watched it twice).

In this scene, for example, you have a studio exec with no artistic sense whatsoever trying to tell Coppola which poster he should go with, and you get the idea of what I mean.

(Fun fact, a young George Lucas even makes a cameo in the pilot episode, in Coppola's office.)

George also went into this subject during his 2015 interview with Charlie Rose.

It's a 4-minute clip, so here's the relevant bit:

"[Big corporations are] known for being risk averse. And movies are not risk averse. Every single movie is a risk, a big risk, like... The movie business is exactly like professional gambling... except you hire the gambler. You use some crazy kid with long hair, you give him $100 million and you say "go to the tables and come back with $500 million." That is a risk! Now, the studios have been going to think of it that way, they say: "well, maybe if we told him that he couldn't bet on red, maybe if we told him because we did market research and we've realized that red wasn't" -- so they tried minimize their risk. [...] They're basically corporate types. They think-- some of the worst things happens when they think they know how to do it, then they start making decisions that ensure it's not going to work. " - Charlie Rose, CBS This Morning, 2015

Now, ironically, this is the same interview in which he compared Disney to "white slavers", but clearly he was still smarting from his own ideas for the Sequels having been ignored.

But considering how little a fuck he gave about those Star Wars films once they came out and how often he visits the now visits sets of like Ahsoka and The Mandalorian, I think he's over it.

Again, this doesn't align with some Star Wars influencers' narrative that "he's fuming, he hates these movies, he feels betrayed and angry!" But if you ask me, he likely couldn't care less, and dubbing Disney his "abusers" is giving them waaay too much credit.

He made his movies, told the story he needed to tell and is now probably just enjoying his retirement, raising his daughter and putting together his museum, part of which is possible because of the money Disney keeps generating for him, as an investor.

So it doesn't surprise me one bit that George Lucas, of all people, to side with the Devil he knows rather than the amateur exec, because the latter is a painful road he knows all too well.

[unhetalia]

jealous England sounds fun until he realizes america truly has no clue when someone is flirting with him or not. I mean how is England going to woo him in the future?

I could never say how these two get together but in terms of what I like to read (and don't get enough of) I always ALWAYS want Arthur rescuing Alfred so that would be fun to think about...

Also, it kind of goes against any previous "Arthur badly courting Alfred" headcanons that I've previously talked about but recently my mind has flipped to a different relationship scenario between Arthur and Alfred.

Arthur is still a horndog who has way more sex than anyone expects (except Francis, who has been accidentally Arthur's best friend for many years).

Alfred, on the flipside, is either a virgin or someone who has sex very very rarely. Exclusively into men (does he know?), very demisexual. Doesn't have much interest in sex, but this is because he's either never been a good match with the men he's had sex with or, if he's a virgin, it just doesn't seem like it'll be that interesting.

Arthur has never seen Alfred as someone to be sexually interested in BECAUSE he's so busy living in the past aka wishing for the times that Alfred was a child.

Alfred is the one who has been in love with Arthur since before his revolution. I like the headcanon people have that his bid for independence was his attempt at getting Arthur to see him as an equal. (It doesn't work.)

It's near-modern times. Maybe late 90s or early 2000s, Alfred is VERY used to unrequited love. He and Arthur are... cordial, but they have different circles.

It's something that hurts Alfred a lot. How Arthur was never interested in Alfred when he grew up. Arthur only ever wanted a colony - and apparently Alfred wasn't even a colony Arthur considered important. He knows Arthur and India were together for a long time, and Alfred sees the longing looks they still throw at each other. She tells Alfred she's completely over Arthur, but how can you date someone for 50 years* and look at them like THAT and have it be "nothing"?

Then we have one of the bits that changes for me, depending on what fic I want. Something needs to happen to get Arthur to see Alfred as he is. I've talked about this before, but in previous posts I've always gone: friends -> fall in love -> get over revolution hang ups -> end up together. NOW, for England, I want to change it up to: get over revolution hang ups -> friends/fall in love (these two are interchangeable to me for England) -> lovers. Meanwhile, Alfred's journey is: fall in love -> everything else (I find his journey can be more flexible).

SO what can make Arthur get over himself? I think it would need to be something big that'll shake him up a little. Alfred-in-distress is one way. Arthur realises how much he wants to save Alfred-the-Nation, and not just who Alfred-the-Colony ended up being.

OR, with the jealousy theme we've been having: another Nation starts pursuing Alfred, and Arthur is forced to see Alfred as an object of desire for someone else, which then jiggles something loose inside him and allows him to see Alfred as someone who is incredibly desirable.

Alas, in the new ... dynamic? Timeline? that I have for these two, Arthur doesn't do any wooing - even when he does fall for Alfred, or becomes jealous of others wanting Alfred, he'll desperately want that shit HIDDEN, and will be glad Alfred's oblivious.

Them actually ending up together needs to somehow happen without planning. At this point in time I've thought myself into a corner with these two. The world might need to be near-ending before the feelings get squeezed out in the open.

[oscurascout]

Y/N As A Doorman

From That's Not My Neighbor game

Part 6 (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10)

They had chosen to do house chores. After all, they would be the ones staying at home most of the time. I was happy to have a maid- I mean, a roommate. The good thing was that my house was big enough for plenty of people to live in, as it was inherited from my grandparents.

The D.D.D. agent left a while ago to arrange some things; I don't remember very well what they said they were going to do but I didn'tactually care. All of the residents were in their rooms except four, one being the milkman who was working a double shift. Meanwhile, both of the twins and Angus had left for a business trip, though the twins were expected to arrive sometime this week.

It was almost time to end my shift; I just needed to approve Francis while waiting, strangely, Mr. Schmicht arrive to the window, even though he wasn't on the entry list. "Maybe he had an emergency with his new book," I thought as I looked at Mr. Schmicht's ID and didn't see anything bad. I quickly started looking at the entry request.

Arnold - "You seem to be in a hurry."

"Yeah, you see, I'll be taking care of a very special friend," I said happily.

Arnold - *menacingly* "So that traitor survived?"

I was about to open the door when I heard him say that and completely stopped. "Sorry, what?" I said, confused and hoping I misheard him.

'Arnold' - *angry* "I asked if that traitor survived?"

"Yes, he did, and I won't let you hurt him ever again!" I said, angrily.

'Arnold' - *angry* "Tch, this messes up all our plans, dammit!" *hits the glass* "How? How is that rat still alive? He was supposed to die either by those damn yellow suit bastards or by the many injuries he had!"

"It seems you failed; serves you right for trying to kill him. And you know what? For doing that, I'll start calling the D.D.D. on all doppelgängers," I said with a smirk.

'Arnold' - *angry* "I don't care about the others, but I will tell you this, you better—" *interrupted*

“I think you are barking at the wrong tree. After all, it is you who should be careful because now *stands up and leans toward the window* I will be hunting you down like the prey that you are. So be careful, little doppelgänger. Make sure to always look behind you because if you don't, I, WILL, CATCH, YOU” I said with a smirk. I could tell that they remembered those words; after all, it was the exact same threat they had told me, and that only made them mad.

'Arnold' - *angry and banging on the window* “This is not over, you dumb human! I'll make sure to get both you and your little friend, and make both of you—” *interrupted*

I didn't let him finish and pressed the red button, which quickly put the shield down. I could hear them screaming at me. I quickly called the D.D.D., but by the time they arrived, the doppelgänger was long gone.

This time I didn't hide myself; instead, I held my ground. “I swear I'll kill you,” I thought as the D.D.D. started to patrol the perimeter. After everything was done and the D.D.D. agents were gone, an hour later, Francis arrived.

Francis - “Hello, Y/N. How has your day been?”

“Good. I received word that Hoon is getting released. He will be staying with me,” I said with a big smile.

Francis - “That's good to hear, but remember to be careful, okay? Also, if you ever need help with him, just call me, and I'll help,”

“Thanks, Francis, but a D.D.D. agent will be staying with me just in case. But to be honest, Hoon would never attack me,” I said, smiling.

Francis - “Mmm, so someone will be protecting you? That's good, but still, remember to call me in case of anything, alright?”

“Yup,” I said as I let him in. “This day ended well. Now I know who to hunt,” I thought as I started leaving the office.

Upon arriving home, I saw a truck parked in front of my house, my house lights were also on “He is here, finally” I thought as I parked in my usual spot and headed inside.

As I opened the door, I was suddenly greeted by someone hugging me. I managed to catch myself before I fell over and saw that it was Hoon.

Hoon - *happy* “Hoon! Hoon!”

D.D.D. Agent - “Hey, you're back! Great, I just bought food, so let's eat!”

Hoon happily led me to the dinner table, and for the first time in a while, I really enjoyed the food. “I feel as if everything is okay now,” I thought as I listened to Hoon happily 'talk'.

[spacerangersam]

Tell me more about your BBC Ghosts character swap AU please?

(like I wanna know from you about the other BH ghosts you didn't draw in their character swap AU version yet on what their character swap would be, for example Thomas, Mary & Robin please?)

Thanks!

I'd be happy to!

Thomas is a caveman, tricked into a fight by his cousin (with less of the dramatics though, since Francis couldn't have forged a letter)  who either got stabbed with a spear or bonked on the head with a club. Regardless, he was killed and in death, gets to carry around a spear. It‘s big, cumbersome and annoying, and I just think it’s funny. He can give the living bruises with it.

To blabber on a bit: his name is actually To, but Julian thought that was stupid so renamed him Thomas, and he did originally come from Scotland. Though it wasn't called Scotland when he was there, obviously.

He struggles a lot with modern English - he’s lived through the rise and fall and change of so many languages that he really struggles to keep up. He slips between using new English and old English, French, old Brythonic languages etc, especially when he’s upset. That's what really kick-started his friendship with Patrick- Pat was the first one really willing to just stop and try to understand what Thomas was saying, and the first one to really sit down and help Thomas with his English. They have lessons every Thursday evening. 

He still likes poetry, but because of all that he’s even worse at it. He also still hates Byron, just for less personal reasons.

With the whole having being around for thousands of years and watched people come and go, he's terrified of the other ghosts moving on without him. He doesn't like to sleep alone because of it, likes being able to keep an eye on at least one ghosts during the night. He tends to spend the night with Pat or Kitty, curled up on the foot of their beds, but he’ll stay with someone else now and then

Mary is a Girl Guide leader from the 80s. She's a timid woman to begin with, raised in a strict Catholic household, who works in a farm shop-come-cafe. She was encouraged to take up the Guide role by her husband to give her more confidence, and she stayed with it after his death. It didn't really make her more confident though, and her Guides quickly learned that they could walk all over her. She died while camping out on the Button grounds - some of the girls set a fire that quickly got out of control. Mary couldn't get out of her tent and died of asphyxiation (suspend your disbelief if you wouldn't mind). She still was close to Annie (and depending on how much you want to play around with the au, Annie could still be around, era switched with the plagues) and learned to be more confident through her.

She insists on doing grace at mealtimes, even though she can't eat, tells people off for blasphemy, and prays on Sundays in lieu of going to mass. The longer she's with the ghosts though, the less she does it. She has a few handy survival tools in her pockets, and like Pat, knows a thing or two about using a bow and arrow.

Robin is from the Georgian era, a nobleman's son who was sent to live with his uncle in hopes he'd straighten Robin out and turn him into a proper gentleman. Robin hated that idea. He planned to make a getaway and start a new life, one where he could just be himself, only to get struck by lightning before he ever made it off the grounds.

It's hard think of a Robin with ‘perfect’ speech, so I like to imagine he came over from North Wales, Welsh being his first language. He does speak English, albeit reluctantly, and has no desire to be fluent in it.

He's still outdoorsy and cares a lot about animals - his parents never had much time for him so he spent most of his time chasing around mice in the manor and sneaking into the stables to pet the horses. He can also still muck around with electricity.    

I don't think I've talked about Julian either, but he's the headless Tudor. Much like in canon, he didn't pay much attention to his wife or child, which was ultimately his downfall when he unknowingly partied with people who were plotting to kill the queen and was damned by association. He got his head lobbed off, and the head can appear in photographs. He makes so many jokes about it.

I can't really think of much else to say at the moment but yeah, that's them

[fbfh]

OMGGGGG YOUR FRANCIS HCS MADE ME REWATCH MALCOLM JN THE MIDDLE 😭😭😭😭 pls tell me you’re writing for him more 🙏🙏🙏

HONESTLY ITS MAKING ME WANNA REWATCH IT TOO 😭 Abso-fucking-lutely yes I will!!!!!! Send me asks about your Francis thoughts bc I have a few meself.

You know what would be an absolute hot mess disaster???? Okay we know Francis has a big fat obsessive crush on you, but the only thing worse would be if his brothers started to get crushes on you too. Like you're so nice and sweet and have such a charging soothing energy its impossible not to fall in love with you so no one can be too surprised. The problem is having one Wilkerson boy in love with you is already a handful, especially if its Francis. But all four of them????? Jesus fucking christ brace yourself.

Dewey is the first one to get a little puppy crush on you. You didn't make fun of him when he couldn't remember his times tables, you didn't even make him feel bad. You just said "it's okay, I had trouble with this too when I was your age. It gets easier the more you practice." With an encouraging smile. You gave him a couple tricks to help him remember the things he was struggling with, and that was the heart eyes moment. After that Dewey started bringing you drawings and pieces of candy and every good grade he got on an assignment just to see your face light up.

Reese falls for you next. You don't have to do much, he's probably going to have at least a tiny little crush on you if Francis likes you. What really gets Reese is when you help him beat a video game level. You offer to give it a shot and he humors you. You haven't mentioned anything about liking video games since you started babysitting, but he's really stuck on this level so he lets you give it a shot. He watches you annihilate aliens like it’s nothing and you beat the level in one or two tries. He can't remember any of the tips you give him about the game because he's too busy staring at you totally dumbstruck.

Malcolm is the last one to go. Before you come over one day, Dewey tells Francis he thinks he shouldn't try to date you anymore and Francis looks at him like he's grown another head. When he asks why, Dewey tells him he's going to ask you to date him instead. Much to Francis's surprise, Reese objects before he can. To say the room erupts into chaos is an understatement. They're all arguing about it when you show up, and Malcolm thinks it's the dumbest thing ever. Why would they spend so much time fighting over a babysitter and arguing about who you'd like back. Then you give Malcolm some old notes you found from when you were in the gifted class in middle school. You were in the gifted class in middle school? Someone as cool and pretty and cool as you?? He takes the notes and thanks you, suddenly thinking fighting his brothers for you doesn't sound so dumb after all.

[basingstokemercury]

The Courtship:

no ouch why

how could you use a poor cowboy so 😭

Ben can be overbearing, Adam is a magnet for pain, and Joe's a right little terror more than half the time - but HOW CAN ANYBODY DO WRONG TO HOSS WITHOUT FEELING BAD FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES

"I reckon the Ponderosa holds as much claim to us as we do to her" 😭 (happy)

And then Hoss turning on Adam and shattering my heart with two sentences... (took him one scene to feel awful about it but wow really has Adam ever lied maliciously in his life? does being in love make Hoss just forget how to read someone he's spent his whole life close to?)

Felt very Pride And Prejudice for a moment, I approve.

Adam and Joe working together to protect Hoss was great, more please they're such a deadly team when they put their clevers together!

The Spitfire:

How did they get a fighter plane to the 1860s- awww no time travel episode? that's not what they meant?

...joseph francis cartwright if I had a nickel for every time you brought a girl home and she bit you...

Grandma Hoad 😍😍😍 We love a warrior matriarch in this blog! and I was kinda shipping her with Ben a little

Ooh, reading while riding! Seems impractical, but so exactly what I'd expect from-

STOP SHOOTING ADAM ALREADY I'm beginning to think he likes getting to act all anguished and dramatic (which is fair as an actress it's very fun)

I knew they wouldn't kill off a lead in season 2, but the heart attack I almost had seeing him drop from the horse after being shot by someone who "never misses" 😨😨😨😨😨😨

And of course the book saves him because that is the Most Adam Thing Possible

(can anyone tell what book that is? all they say in the episode is "poetry", and there's a second or two of the title page in the scene after he's shot but it's hard to make out. might be French? DOES HE READ FRENCH?!)

Uh how'd he get back in the saddle with a bullet in his thigh even if it's not as bad as it could have been? (Pushing through the pain and risking more injury later, if I know Adam. Typical.) (Well, I guess we don't know he got back in the saddle. Maybe he managed to crawl home/to safety or something?)

ADAM'S BEDROOM I'VE BEEN WAITING TO SEE THIS!

Nice pyjamas, but that's not what I'm here for. I was hoping-

And there it is! No model of the house, but a writing-table full of what seem to be architectural schematics with several more rolled up beside it, some kind of surveying or levelling tools piled on too, and an armillary sphere to top the whole thing off! The set designers definitely put thought into this I'm genuinely impressed after bracing for just another standard room with things in like we saw for the others!

Ben coming to talk peace with the woman whose son Joe killed... It's all very well saying "leave the grief and hate behind", but would he really have been in any state to judge her favourably if Adam had been lying dead that day rather than recuperating?

And Joe's upset so he runs to Adam and becomes a sad little pile on his bed... the cuteness I can't

(some What Katy Did vibes in Joe earnestly running in to get advice from bedridden Adam. now there's a book I was never quite sure what to make of.)

Joe: I'm gonna do a stupid dangerous thing! My mum: He's an idiot- Well. We knew that.

"JOE! YOU CAN'T! LISTEN TO ME COME BACK-"

(tries to get up and grab him)

(ow leg)

(poor frustrated Adam watching his baby brother run off into danger and having to lie there helpless... I do not condone throwing books in emotion but this was definitely a valid reason to be upset)

Luckily, it worked and we now have new friends with a minimum of people getting killed! Happy ever after all round (except the guys who got killed of course)!

[elisysd]

56. I know you're scared and your pain is imperfect but don't you give up on yourself

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Hold my hand - Lady Gaga

Her therapist’s office had a view on the harbor. It had been nice, the first time she had been there but today it was foggy and it was raining, a weather she was not used to.

“How are you since our first session, Julia?” Doctor Francis asked.

“Okay… I thought a lot about what you said, I’ve made a list.” she replied, giving it her notes as he started to read them.

“Well, that’s a long list.”

“I have many problems.”

“I can see that. Well, let’s get started, shall we?”

They spend the hour talking about her childhood and her relationship with her parents. How much she idolized her dad and wanted to make him proud. So much that she had developed, with time, a spirit of overachiever, overthinker and perfectionist doubled with a feeling that she always had to prove she was the best. She had put so much pressure on herself since a very young age that as an adult, she always needed to make sure she was controlling everything, from relationships, to career goals and her feelings.

And her traumatic school experience had just accentuated what she was already. In order to protect herself, she had become such a people pleaser that she had never taken the time to fully get to know who she was and who she wanted to become. At the end of the session she was exhausted from having cried throughout the whole hour.

“How do you feel now that we explored who you were?”

“Like a shitty human being. I feel like a gigantic stuck up bitch. I’ve never wanted to be that…”

“We can add to the list, a tendency to self-pity.”

“Gosh, thanks doc… as if I wasn't down enough.”

“When I told you that my methods could be considered as unusual and that some people were finding them brutal, you told me that it was exactly what you needed. I’m not here to make you feel nice about yourself. I’m here to make you feel uncomfortable so you can move forward in your life. The first step is acknowledging your flaws.”

“What is the next one?” she asked, a bit cautiously.

“Forcing you to let go of the feeling of control you feel like you need to have.”

“And how are you planning to do that?”

“Have you ever thought of skydiving, miss Leclerc?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Not at all. It would force you to give full control over your life to someone else. It might be a good wake up call.” he explained.

“I think I’ve had enough wake up calls for the foreseeable future, doctor.”

“Does the perspective of it give you anxiety?”

“Does it give me anxiety? Of course! It’s so risky and there are so many parameters like, is the person I would be jumping with is qualified enough? Is the company I would go to not shady? Is the material safe? Like… we are talking about life -threatening situations, doc!”

“I know, that’s why I recommend you to do that but if you’re not ready to do so… I mean, I’ve already noted that you were a coward when it came to some situations, that would be just one more proof.”

She glared at him, clenching her jaw. She knew he was trying to get a reaction out of her and it was working.

“I’m not a coward. And fine, I’ll do it.”

“Don’t do it alone. I was thinking that you could go with your dad. A way to let go of both your need for control and your need to be perfect for him.”

“He has already done that in the past…”

“Good, so you have a way to feel safe.”

“I would have to admit, feeling safe is not the word I would use when I’m thinking of skydiving…” she mumbled.

When she told her mom what her therapist had advised her, Lyanna laughed so hard that Bailey started to approach her to check if she was alright.

“I’m sorry, darling, it’s just that out of all activities I thought you would one day do, skydiving is far away on the list.”

“It was not even on mine at all.”

Her mom didn’t have the time to reply that her dad was parking in the driveway. As soon as he entered the room, Lyanna started to tell him the news as he joined her into her laughter.

“I would love to go with you. I can have it planned for tomorrow, I have an old friend that would be delighted to make us jump.”

“Tomorrow? This soon?”Julia repeated, stuttering a little. “I’m not sure I’m ready to go this soon and…”

“The goal is for you to stop thinking, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Then stop thinking. We’ll go tomorrow.”

That was how she had found herself the next day, in a plane in the middle of the afternoon. Her heart was beating loud and fast in her rib cage and she felt as if she was about to throw up and pass out. She was holding onto her seat for dear life and refused to open her eyes, even less to move.

“I have to get you ready.” her partner told her.

“I’m not strapping myself to you until you tell me for how long you’ve been doing that and how many jumps you have done in the past.”

“Julia, Antoine is our most experienced guy, you don’t have to fear anything.” explained Luc, the guy her dad had called and to who he was strapped to.

Reluctantly, she let Antoine take care of her. She intently listened to him, asked him to repeat the instructions three times, until she was sure she would know exactly how it would all go. As they were about to jump, she turned to him.

“I’m absolutely terrified. I’m going to scream very loudly, I’m sorry in advance.”

“It’s okay, I’m used to it, don’t worry.”

She was about to add something but didn’t have the time as Antoine just decided to make the jump. She felt like her heart was in her throat. Her ears were ringing as multiple bad scenarios were running in her mind. To her, it seemed like a lifetime until Antoine opened the parachute and when she finally opened her eyes she was amazed. The sun was starting to set, plunging the valley in a beautiful nuance of gold. Up in the sky, floating away, for the first time in her life she felt truly free. She took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling and the cold hair slapping her face. And when they finally touched the ground, the first thing she did was to run to her dad.

“That was so amazing! When are we coming back?”

Charles looked at her bright smile that was reaching her eyes and her red cheeks. For a minute Julia reminded him of the child she once was, full of life, ready to try new things and a bit careless. He laughed, ruffling her hair as she complained before taking her in his arms.

“Next time, I’m taking you to the mountains for ski touring.”

Needless to say that she was very proud of her when she went back to her therapist and told him with a smug look on her face that she had done it, even showed him the pictures the team had taken of her and her dad.

“What did you learn about yourself with this experience?” asked doctor Francis.

“Well… that it was useless to worry about things that were not going to happen. That I could rely on people, that it was not putting me in dangerous situations. That it was okay to give up on control… sometimes.”

Her therapist nodded, writing down a few things in his notebook.

“I’m glad to hear it. We are going to be able to move forward now.”

The next sessions were focused on her relationships. She had cried a lot, refusing to say out loud what she was feeling.

“Why is it so hard to say that you love them?”

“Because then when they leave it will hurt too much. If I keep them at bay, it can’t hurt me.”

“Have you ever told someone that you love them?”

“My brother because he needs to hear it and because he doesn’t feel things like us so I have this need to make sure he knows it. And Ethan… But I had already lost him back then.”

“Never to your parents?”

“I mean, when I was younger I guess? And they know anyway. Same for my friends, they know I do love them.”

“And to yourself?”

She laughed in disbelief.

“Well… who does that? Isn’t it a little egocentric? I have a lot of flaws but being self-centered isn’t one of them.”

“If it can improve your self-esteem, I don't think it’s a bad thing. For our next session, I want you to think about what makes you a good person, the things that you’re proud of.”

Little by little, session by session, hours after hours, Julia could feel herself getting better, understanding herself better and trying to get rid of her bad habits. It wasn’t easy, she still had setbacks and was falling into her old ways easily but now that she could identify them, it made her life a little better. She still had a hard time expressing her feelings, and the first time she had told her mom, on her therapist's advice, that she loved her, Lyanna had not known what to reply. Julia had immediately closed off, finding excuses as her mom felt bad.

“I’m sorry, darling, it’s just that I didn’t expect you to say this… of course I love you too.”

She had even cried to her therapist when she had told him how rejected she had felt which she knew was stupid. He had explained that it was normal to feel that expressing her love was putting her out of her comfort zone and how it made her feel vulnerable. She just had to put herself out there more often, even if it was frightening. As they were talking, doctor Francis could see that something was bothering her and when he asked, she simply replied that her dad was leaving later tonight for the US for three weeks. And she wouldn’t go with him.

“I know it’s for the best but…”

“It doesn’t make it less hard.” Doctor Francis finished at her place.

“Yeah…”

“Have you thought about what you would like to do for the next year?”

“I tried to but I’m lost…”

“Well, is there something that matters a lot to you, that you feel is important?”

“I mean… yeah, but it’s linked to F1 and I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“Do tell.”

“I mean… There is this girl, Audra, who told me that she wants to be like me when she grows up. It warmed my heart, really, it made me feel like I mattered, that I was maybe a source of inspiration for young girls… but I know how tough this world is for girls and even worse for disabled ones. I wish I could do something about it but I don’t know where to go.”

“Isn’t there an organization or someone who works in the federation that could help you?”

“I mean, I guess but I’m not sure I want my name to be out there.”

“It doesn’t have to be if you request it.”

“I guess I just have to think about it some more. Maybe ask around.”

She kept that thought in her head until she got home. She absent-mindedly got back to her room and sat at her desk, opening her notepad to write down her ideas. But facing a white page, she quickly gave up. The dinner was nice, the family was enjoying their last moments together before they would reunite in Vegas.

“You didn’t talk much tonight…” her mom said as they were doing the dishes.

“Yeah, I’m thinking about something.”

“Care to tell me more?”

“I want to help women and disabled people to make it in F1 whether it is as an engineer, in marketing, PR, mechanics… I don’t care. I want to help them. But I don’t know how. I don’t know if I want my name to be associated with it either. I don’t know what I can do, exactly. I just have this idea.”

“I think it’s amazing, Julia. I don’t know how I can help you but I know that Seb and Lewis can. Lewis works in the inclusive department at the FIA and Seb has some contacts that he used to help Romy get into F1 in the first place. You should ask them.”

“I think I will. Thank you.” she smiled, kissing her mom’s cheek as she was about to leave the room.

“Julia, hey…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you. I’m proud of what you’re becoming.”

She spent the next few days planning out her idea. She wanted to come with an already well thought project, something that was strong enough to be considered and not looked upon. She wanted to be taken seriously, especially after the cheating suspicions, she knew she wouldn’t be trusted that easily. She had spent nights, turning again and again in her bed trying to think about a perfect idea until it hit one day as she was hunting the city center in search of an open bakery. She had come across Audra and her aunt she lived at, after her parents’ death. They had chatted a little and Audra’s aunt had told her that Julia was all her niece was talking about, that she wanted to work on cars later. Julia had blushed.

“The only thing is that Audra is not very good at math, she is trying but she would need private lessons and I don’t have the money to finance them.”

“I can help! For free. I’m not very busy at the moment.”

“I don’t want to bother you…”

“Please, auntie! Please!” Audra begged.

“Well… if you’re sure and if it really doesn’t bother you, here’s my number. Text me your disponibilities and I’ll see if we can find a time that will work for all of us.”

Coming back home, she had sat by her bedroom window and written a whole plan of what she wanted to do.

Now she was hesitatingly staring at the screen of her phone, wondering if she really should call Lewis. She had already texted him to know if she could talk to him about something she had thought of and he hadn’t been far from reluctant when she said she wanted to help on improving the inclusivity and diversity inside the motorsport. But now she was doubting. What if it wasn’t as good as what she had thought? What if he was laughing because he couldn’t take her seriously?

“Come on, Julia… stop overthinking. You can do this. You are smart, your plan is detailed, the objectives are clear, you are passionate, he will see it. It will be fine.” she mumbled to herself, following her therapist advice about hyping her own self up.

She took a deep breath and called the number. He quickly answered and after a little small talk, asking her how she was doing he asked her about what she wanted to talk about.

“Well… a few weeks ago, I met a group of kids and there was this one girl in a wheelchair who told me she wanted to be an engineer in F1 one day. It got me thinking about how this world is not nice with people that are not rich, white and who are not men or to people who have disabilities. You went through it, I did, Romy, Chloe and I could ask every woman in the paddock, I’m sure they will have the same speech as me. And I know, efforts are being made, I know that you are working hard for the sport to be more inclusive but it’s still not it. We are still far behind what we could be. What we should be. And it pains me and it angers me to know that Audra will face so many setbacks or to even think that she won't be able to make it because she doesn’t have the money, she is a girl and she is in a freaking wheelchair. And she is just an example amongst many others? How many Romy, Audra or me are out there? How many of them don’t have the resources to make their dreams come true? So, I gave it some thoughts… Well, a lot of thoughts and I had this idea. Just like every team has their academy of young drivers, what if the FIA had its own academy of young talents, of kids who dream of working in motorsport? What if we were organizing summer camps to teach them what it is like to be in mechanics, engineering, in IT, software departments… whatever. What if we were actively helping them to discover the different sectors, organizing internships in partnerships with teams? What if we had teachers to help them improve in classes they are having a hard time? What if we had conferences with professionals who work in motorsport? And we could follow them from a young age until they go to college and land a job somewhere. Imagine how rewarding it could be. For them, for the sport. Sometimes, they just need a little bit of help to break the glass ceiling. I want to be that help.”

Hearing Lewis' silence on the other end of the line, she feared that she had gone overboard, that it was too much and not doable, that she had made a fool of herself. After all, who was she to tell him how to do his job?

“Do you think you can prepare a presentation of your project? I’m going to make a few phone calls and organize a meeting where we could talk more about your project. See what we can do.”

“For real?”

“If they are on board with it, it will be a lot of work to make your vision come true. How much are you willing to get yourself involved?”

“I don’t have anything to do for the next year, I can go all in. After that… well, we’ll see.”

When they hung up, Julia burst out of joy, jumping around. She ran down the stairs to hug her mom, telling her in detail what Lewis had told her. It was going to be a lot of work but she was ready and she couldn’t wait.

She spent the next few days working on her presentation, adding new ideas to the project like a special scholarship. She started to dream about how maybe one day the FIA could have its own school. She was so invested in it that she couldn’t stop talking about it. She had told her dad who was fully supporting her, Romy had gasped telling Julia how amazing her idea was and how she didn’t understand no one thought about it before. She had even told her therapist who for the first time congratulated her for her progress. The only person who didn’t know it was Ethan. She wanted to have his opinion but for an unknown reason she was scared. Maybe because his point of view meant so much to her that she feared a lack of enthusiasm would disappoint her and make her doubt herself. She wanted him to be proud of her, to see that she was changing for the better. She ended up calling him, right after the media day, in the middle of the night for her.

“Joolsie? Aren’t you supposed to sleep?” he told her, surprised.

“Maybe I should yeah, but… I wanted to talk to you about something important.”

“Is it bad?”

“No! I don’t think so… I just want to know what you would think of it.”

And she told him in detail all about her project and how she actually had her presentation at the beginning of the next week. When she stopped, Ethan was speechless.

“ You will never stop surprising me, you know.” he breathed.

“So, you like it?”

“You know what would be nice to add to your very well thought plan?”

“Tell me. I haven’t thought everything through.”

“Well… motorsport is very competitive, you know that. What about making them compete with each other? And not in a stupid academic way. For example, when a kid is joining the program, you ask them which team is his favorite. Let’s say they answer Maserati…”

“Of course…” she playfully rolled her eyes.

“Shut up. So, they joined Maserati. They meet other kids who joined Maserati too. But some of them answered Ferrari, Mercedes, even Skoda. I'm sure they have their fans, somewhere… And you make them compete between teams, like in F1. You build activities, contests, whatever suits best and at the end of the summer if you are doing a summer camp, the team that wins gets to meet the drivers, team principal, visit the factory and all… And to develop their own competitive instinct, the best kid of each team gets to spend a few days in the factory of teams to see what it is like to work on a car?

“Ethan… you are a genius.”

“I know. It can happen, sometimes.”

“I love when we work together. We are a great team.” she said.

“Yeah… it could have been for real if you had accepted Christian’s offer.”

Julia didn’t know what to answer. Thankfully, Ethan seemed to notice what he had just said as he started to apologize.

“It’s fine. I don’t blame you.”

“I’m just a little tired… I know it doesn’t excuse it but some questions were really stupid.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. They don’t deserve to be talked about. I just got back to the hotel, I’m going to take a shower and relax. And you missy, you have to sleep. You have a lot of work to prepare.”

“I know… I’m just happy to talk to you.”

“I’m happy to hear your voice too.” he confessed.

“How do you feel about the weekend?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure we have the car for Austin. We’ll see tomorrow but I’m not expecting us to be very high.”

Julia repressed a yawn.

“You’re tired. And don’t try to tell me otherwise, I heard you. You have to sleep.”

“I think it would be best, yeah.”

“And don’t worry about the presentation, you’ll rock their world. They would be stupid to not listen to you.”

“I hope you’re right. And don’t worry as well about the weekend. You’ll be amazing. And I’ll be watching.”

“Call me to debrief the race?” he asked.

“I can even call you after the qualifying to talk about strategy.” she replied with a smile as her eyelids started to feel heavy.

Author's note: I had fun writing this chapter! I hope you had fun reading it!

What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[oumaheroes]

Okay, this has got me head scratching and I want to know your take on it. I have literally no idea where this scenario came from, but it's /lingering/ with me during finals week so now I have to subject you to it, too. It's only fair.

Say, if England were to be compelled to say the truth no matter what, and like any repressed brit went into isolated lockdown until this wore off, who do you think he would choose to spend that time with if he had to?

(I'm thinking Wales; my fruk heart keeps wanting France, though. But we all know that's a double-edged sword because while they have this kind of intimate knowledge of each other- and would probably not be surprised by any of England's admissions- it would be England's worst nightmare to have France find out something new and be able to hold more over England's head than England can over him. Of course, this isn't even factoring in any other nations that could also possibly fit the bill here for isolation partner.)

Gosh, sorry this got long. No pressure to answer, by the way, just needed to expose you to these obviously deep and troubling thoughts. 😂

Atticus my love, you are 100% right on every count

Francis and Arthur are, most of the time, very honest with each other. Even if this is by what they don't say as much as what they do, they don't usually hide aspects of themselves. I wouldn't even say this is a conscious thing most of the time- Arthur doesn't set out to be so open or 'himself' with Francis, it just happens. They bring out each other's unfiltered self, for better or for worse, just from having known each other for so long and having experienced so much of history together

I've said this is so many posts before, but they interact with each other without filter in the good periods, and in the bad they can see right through whatever bullshit the other tries. Francis knows instantly when something he's said or done has offended Arthur and he looks for it. He knows his tells and Arthur knows his- Arthur knows when Francis is putting on airs and Francis sees him realise this, know he's been caught. Knows Arthur can see him anyway which makes him angry and it's worse because Arthur can read that too.

Which, of course, is the problem. If this were to ever happen, if England were to ever come under the effect of a spell/curse/circumstance the forces him to be entirely truthful, he would be the furthest away from France he could possibly be. Not because he's not used to Francis reading him so easily, but because at least usually England can keep quiet. Lying by omission is one of the only tools to keep France at bay, even if only for a time, and if there's something that compels England to speak truthfully then this is a nightmare scenario. Their relationship being in a good place won't fix the situation because, sooner or later, they'll be in a bad place again and both of them know it. You're so right, anything that England does or says France will likely use against him when the situation arises and Arthur will want to give Francis as little ammo as possible.

I suppose it's the intentional vulnerability most of all. Arthur knowing in advance that he has a weakness, such an open one at that, will make him want to hide away from everyone, especially, and even, Francis

You're spot on though. If there is anyone Arthur will let in, it's Wales and Wales alone. No one else will both loyally keep whatever he says a secret, and also be someone he feels comfortable showing this unfiltered self to. His brothers have known him before he ever felt as though he needed to hide himself, but Wales is the only one he still trusts to both see it and not judge

[buck-yyyy]

OKAY OKAY MORE THINGS I WROTE DOWN!! NO ROOM ON MY ARM THIS TIME SO A PIECE OF PAPER!!

it's numbered bc that's what i did on the paper ig?? lmao

you know that "what the fuck richard" vine? that's me like. 90% of this book but ESPECIALLY when he and francis almost had gay sex or something and then he was TERRIFIED about the police being there. like man WHAT

[describing charles] "face as radiant as an angel's" mhmm. sure bestie. whatever you say.

"I'm really not attracted to you." sure richard. that's why you kissed him back. sure.

"henry's got the idea it might upset you" DUAFHDSAFDAFA HE'S CONCERNED (not for the first time) I'M SOBBING

"the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic" meme but it's henry AND richard. it's both of them.

richard comparing henry to superman (admittedly i am grasping at straws but it made me think of mike wheeler and BURST out laughing)

m...marion and.. camilla... THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED???

it mentioned something called "wacky cake" and i made a note to ask you about it because you like to tell me about wacky american/midwestern foods adahfdssaf

"but of all the males in the room, charles is by far the best-looking." richard. richard that is NOT heterosexual male thoughts. i am gripping him by the shoulders and shaking. what the FUCK was going through his brain. i'm sobbing.

"heart beating" is the ONLY physical reaction he ever has to camilla. like no blushing, no stuttering, no random smiles, JUST his heartrate picking up. buddy that is NERVOUSNESS and/or FEAR, that is NOT attraction. fucking dumbass.

i just have "... francis x charles???" here and i don't even fucking know what caused it. I think charles said something and francis was more hurt by it than if someone else had said it? idk man

anyways! i am very much enjoying the book so far :)

SDHKJSANKJSANDSJAN LOSING IT AT THE ACCURACY OF SOME OF THESE

and yes oh my god what the fuck richard sums it up PERFECTLY LMAO

and holy shit when you're finished with it i have the most incredible fic to send you--it's francis/richard (my favoriteist ever ever ever) and it is quite possibly the best writing in fic i've ever had the pleasure to come across, it's so eloquent and smooth and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[koolkat9]

EngGer:

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late? 16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like? 42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

NedCan:

17. How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why? 48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

Ship Ask Game - The Basics

GerEng

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late?

Ludwig has always been an early riser. He likes to get an early morning jog in before starting the rest of his day. Arthur on the other hand has gotten used to sleeping in so he'll sleep as long as possible. Also Arthur's insomnia and depression probably don't help.

16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like?

Hmm...Tough because it's hard to tell how long a nation relationship can last. Even humans find matching tattoos risky and they live for a much shorter time. Nations live for centuries, even thousands of years. It's a lot of time to fuck up a relationship. And Ludwig, who is very logical would realize that. Not that he doesn't love or want to make a commitment to Arthur, but if something comes up down the line, a tattoo would just be a painful reminder. Though...With nation healing abilities, there may be a way to get rid of it. Eventually.

If Ludwig did agree to it. It would be after a long time of them being together. They'd get tattoos with each other's national flowers. Keeping it small and simple.

42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

Arthur and Gil do somewhat get along. They share similar interests after all. But Gil is also that overprotective brother/dad so there is some distance and intimidation because of that.

Kiku was actually friends with Arthur first so they're pretty chill and enjoy hanging out.

Feliciano gets along with everyone so he's pretty cool with Arthur. But I think he's a bit protective of Ludwig as well.

Rodriech and Arthur I think get along swimmingly. They'd be such gossips together over tea and cake.

Now Ludwig is actually beloved by Arthur's siblings (except maybe Dylan because he's overprotective and doesn't want Arthur's heart getting broken). Like Allie canonically admires Ludwig and Ludwig, at least on the outside seems like the perfect man: strong, handsome, loyal, hardworking, a little stoic looking but actually very sweet. And it's perfect opportunity to tease Arthur about it because they never expected he'd pull someone like Ludwig. So over all, they get along.

Francis and Ludwig have become close friends, not because of Arthur though. Working together with the EU they got pretty close over the years. Which is helpful because Ludwig is bad at reading people sometimes, and Arthur hates actually being honest about his feelings and needs so Francis has been able to translate things for Ludwig when Arthur is being a bit difficult.

Despite Matthew's feelings towards Ludwig in the past (he hated Lud's guts during the World Wars), he's gotten to know Ludwig in peace time so things have settled down. Also, he hasn't seen Arthur that happy in awhile so he's happy as long as his Dad is.

Alfred and Jack are also pretty chill with Ludwig, but they do tease both Ludwig and Arthur about the age gap.

Zee...I think Zee is like Matt in which they are chill with it and happy that their dad is happy, but lacking the rocky past Lud and Matt have.

Though I think Afonso still has some feelings for Arthur and Arthur still has some feelings for him, Afonso is happy Arthur was able to fall in love again since for a long time, Arthur had shut love out. Again, like Francis, he probably gives Ludwig some advice in dealing with Arthur when he's moody and standoffish. And I can also see Ludwig consulting Afonso early on about gifts to get Arthur/things Arthur likes.

---

Moving to NedCan

17. How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why?

I think there is some miscommunication sometimes. Outside of his relationship with Al, I think Matt struggles to voice his boundaries and tell others when he's uncomfortable. And he's a people pleaser so he pushes himself harder and represses more for the sake of others, including Jan. But like anyone who represses emotions, if they continue, they can start to bubble over with Matt becoming a bit more pouty and irritated. But there relationship is at a point where Jan understands and can usually pick up on Matt's discomfort before it gets to that point. And once Matt is given a safe out to talk about his feelings, he takes it.

Jan also has an issue with voicing his emotions. For so long he felt other things were more important than his feelings like providing for himself and his siblings. In his youth, he didn't have time to process his feelings so he pushed them down instead. Nowadays, he doesn't even know how he feels half the time because he has become so disconnected from his emotions. I think sometimes when people as if he's okay he gets irritated because it is a reminder that he doesn't really know. And when he's feeling bad, deep down he wants to talk about it, but he can't because he doesn't have the words to express it. At first this was hard for Matt because he prefers when people are direct with him, but again, they've been together long enough at this point that Matt has learned tells when Jan needs a cuddles or some other pick me up. It is not a permeant fix, but it works in the moment and Matt has convinced Jan to go to therapy to work on identifying emotions.

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

It's a difficult subject to discuss as a nation. Because there isn't much they can do beyond dating. They could hold a ceremony if they really wanted to, but it's not binding, they can't get married unless it's like the alliances of old. And NedCan is still fairly new by nation standards. They only really got close during WW2 and after. So I don't think they're discussing much about the future and are taking it day by day.

[variantsofblue]

Hey I wanted to thank you for letting people know about opportunities to help refugees impacted by the violence in Palestine.

Unfortunately, I also need to let you know about a fascist blogger here on Tumblr who is mocking you and telling people that all asks "begging for money" are scams. His blog is r4cs0 and he is one of these "anti-SJW" bloggers who was "Tumblr famous" (his words) back in 2016, but his blog has been running on fumes ever since then. But he still has a lot of right-wing conspiracy theorists and Trump supporters who follow him and they are well known for harassing people off the site.

I think the most absurd part is that r4cs0 claims to be an immigrant himself who came to the U.S. from Mexico to escape persecution from his family that was opposed to him dating a bisexual woman. But even after that, he now wants to shit all over other people who just want the same opportunity he was given. It probably has something to do with him being a hardcore rad trad catholic, since he has been telling people that instead of donating money to refugees, they should spend their time writing letters to Pope Francis to argue about which direction priests are allowed to face during their sermons…???

I apparently already have this blog blocked, although I don't remember what for.

I took a cursory look at the blog and didn't see any posts mocking me in particular (which, if present, would be confusing since my blog is tiny) but I did see the post claiming all donation posts are scams which had a lot of cruel comments in the notes so I recommend blocking this blog.

If the last paragraph of anon's ask is true, then the account is either a troll or someone not worth reasoning with so I recommend just blocking without engaging.

[razorsadness]

Confessions: My Father, Hummingbirds, and Frantz Fanon

Every effort is made to bring the colonised person to admit the inferiority of his culture... —Frantz Fanon

And there are days when storms hover Over my house, their brooding just this side of rage, An open hand about to slap a face. You won't believe me

When I tell you it is not personal. It isn't. It only feels That way because the face is yours. So what if it is the only Face you've got? Listen, a storm will grab the first thing In its path, a Persian cat, a sixth grade boy on his way home From school, an old woman watering her roses, a black Man running down a street (late to a dinner with his wife), A white guy buying cigarettes at the corner store. A storm Will grab a young woman trying to escape her boyfriend, A garbage can, a Mexican busboy with no papers, you. We are all collateral damage for someone's beautiful Ideology, all of us inanimate in the face of the onslaught. My father had the biggest hands I've ever seen. He never Wore a wedding ring. Somehow, it would have looked lost, Misplaced on his thick worker's hands that were, to me, As large as Africa. There have been a good many storms In Africa over the centuries. One was called colonialism (Though I confess to loving Tarzan as a boy).

In my thirties, I read a book by Frantz Fanon. I fell in love With the storms in his book even though they broke My heart and made me want to scream. What good Is screaming? Even a bad actress in a horror flick Can do that. In my twenties, I had fallen in love With the storms in the essays of James Baldwin. They were like perfect poems. His friends called Him Jimmy. People didn't think he was beautiful. Oh God, but he was. He could make a hand that was Slapping you into something that was loving, loving you. He could make rage sound elegant. Have you ever Read "Stranger in the Village?" How would you like To feel like a fucking storm every time someone looked At you?

One time I was At a party. Some guy asked me: What are you, anyway? I downed my beer. Mexican I said. Really he said, Do You play soccer? No I said but I drink Tequila. He smiled At me, That's cool. I smiled back So what are you? What do you think I am he said. An asshole I said. People Hate you when you're right. Especially if you're Mexican. And every time I leave town, I pray that people will stop Repeating You're from El Paso with that same tone Of voice they use when they see a rat running across Their living rooms, interrupting their second glass Of scotch. My father's dead (Though sometimes I wake And swear he has never been more alive—especially when I see him staring back at me as I shave in the morning). Even though I understand something about hating a man I have never really understood the logic of slavery. What do I know? I don't particularly like the idea of cheap Labor. I don't like guns. And I don't even believe White men are superior. Do you? I wanted to be St. Francis. I took this ambition very seriously. Instead I wound up becoming a middle-aged man who dreams Storms where all the animals wind up dead. It scares Me to think I have this dream inside me. Still, I love dogs—even mean ones. I could forgive A dog that bit me. But if a man bit me, that would be Another story. I have made my peace with cats. I am especially in love with hummingbirds (though They're as mean as roosters in a cock fight). Have You ever seen the storms in the eyes of men who Were betting on a cock fight?

Last night, there was hail, thunder, A tornado touching down in the desert—though I was Away and was not a first hand witness. I was in another Place, listening to the waves of the ocean crash against The shore. Sometimes I think the sea is angry. Who Can blame it? There are a million things to be angry About. Have you noticed that some people don't give A damn and just keep on shopping? Doesn't that make you Angry? A storm is like God. You don't have to see it To believe—sometimes you just have to place Your faith in it. When my father walked into a room It felt like that. Like the crashing waves. You know, Like a storm. This is the truth of the matter: I am The son of a storm. Look, every one has to be the son Of something. The thing to do when you are caught In the middle of a storm is to abandon your car, Keep quiet. Pray. Wait. Tell that to the men Who were sleeping on the Arizona when The Japanese dropped their bombs. War is the worst Kind of storm. The truth is I have never met a breathing Human being who did not have at least one scar On his body. Bombs and bullets do more than leave A permanent mark on the skin. I have never liked The expression they were out for blood.

There are days When there are so many storms hovering around My house that I cannot even see the blue in the sky. My father loved the sky. He was trying to memorize The clouds before he died. I confess to being Jealous of the sky.

On Sunday Mornings I picture Frantz Fanon as an old man. He is looking up At the pure African sky. He is trying to imagine how it appeared Before the white men came. I don't want to dream all the dead Animals we have made extinct. I want to dream a sky Full of hummingbirds. I would like to die in such a storm.

—Benjamin Alire Sáenz (x)

[scftdevil]

"no, he actually fixed it, it's still an auto shop." darius couldn't answer her second question quite yet. "i wish that was all. there was a point to telling you about my mom, wren." he wanted to hold her, or perhaps he wanted her to hold him. he only talked to francis about their mother, and it was usually a small argument that lead to francis crying, face pressed into his shoulder as she tried to grapple with her grief. "my mom loved my dad. she loved him so fucking much that when she found out about the family business, she refused to leave him. she refused to be a part of it, or let us be apart of it, but she wouldn't end things with him and walk away." he felt his voice crack, he knew how this story ended. he was the only landon child in the room, barely nineteen years old. "my parents bought a house for my mom, just out of the city so she never had to hear the sirens and worry it was my dad. we grew up in both houses, the one my dad still has now and the one he bought for my mom. like divorced kids, except my parents were still madly in love. he'd come over all the time, sleep there, and as we got older, we would go stay with him too." darius paused, chest tight as he tried to push through the story. "one night, my mom was coming to pick us up, bring us back to her house. francis was so young, so was erik, i was old enough to be in the room when it happened. mom came in and was complaining about something, i think, when someone broke into the house, firing without any intention other than to hurt my dad. and he did. my mom didn't last long enough to see erik or franny, not that she would have let us." he didn't notice the tears at first, and then when he did, he just ignored them. "i spent a long time thinking i could have done something, moved or pushed mom or something. that wasn't ever going to work, the only thing i can do is make sure it never happens again." he turned to look at wren again, finally, his heart ripped open and explored with her by his side. "i love you, wren. more than i've ever loved anyone. i haven't killed anyone since we started seeing each other. i don't really do that as much anymore, it hurts me too much, too much from my past comes with it. i thought you deserved to know what being with me looks like."

Wren wasn't exactly sure what she was scared of. Darius? Not really, because she knew he'd never hurt her. But her other family? A little. Now she knew why she'd come to the bar and they'd make sure to talk to her alone. His sisters were trying to feel her out, see if she was good for him. What if they had decided she wasn't good for him? How were they going to get her to stop coming to the bar? "I-I'm not sure what to say." How do you even respond to this huge bomb dropped. "So when I brought my vehicle there, he just pretended to fix it?" Wren was trying to wrap her mind around everything. "Since dating me, how many people have you killed?"