#i just don’t have any interest in trying to write guts in a modern verse

[berszer]

i don’t have a modern verse (or otherwise) nor do i necessarily plan to create one anytime soon. i am still grasping guts’ character / voice, and rather than try to put energy into expanding his character in directions irrelevant to canon, i’d rather focus on understanding & crafting him as he is given. that’s not to say you have to write within a berserk specific canon; the lore is vast and i don’t expect anyone unfamiliar with the source material to try to blindly cooperate with it - i am perfectly happy to write in a timeline which is vague in its time period, or utilize a standard middle aged / fantasy verse to compromise a setting (as a setting, berserk is quite flexible!)

if you can’t see your character functioning in a like - world, it’s unlikely we will be able to interact for the time being. if you’d like to plot and establish a fantasy verse for your character set within the dark age or otherwise, id love to plot or help rattle off some ideas!

[heyiwrotesomethings]

make them requests 8

Fav author of mine, hello once again.

I would like to humbly request a shinobu x she/her reader, mafia (AU).The reader is an assassin that works for about anyone if they have the requirements<friends w shin>.(💵) Shinobu is against douma's gang because he killed Kanae. But douma wants to hire an assassin to kill shin ,so he turns to the reader but having work with her and knowing the reason she is after douma–not me hating his guts– so she declines. the bastard asked around and found some trustworthy sources that told him about the relationship between his enemy and the interesting assassin.

So in order to make both of the people he's after suffer, he kidnaps shinobu and sends a vid/photo /calls the reader to let her know what he will do to her if she doesn't come.And she goes to save her.

I shall leave the rest to your capable hands.

No Loose Ends

Shinobu Kochou x She/ Her Reader Modern AU

A/N: These two were similar so I combined them. Hope that was fine! I had fun writing this one. Sometimes I get a little discouraged because I don’t see any improvements in my overall writing ability but I feel like I can say pretty confidently that this turned out better than the original assassin fic I wrote so I hope you guys like it too! I’m not well versed in mafia knowledge or writing decent fight scenes, but I did my best. Hope y’all like it! ~~~ = the past. Warnings: Profanity, very brief mention of sexual activity, guns and murder, quite a bit of murder. Word Count: 8,239

“Took you long enough,” Shinobu teased from where she laid sprawled out upon the couch, a laptop resting on her stomach as she typed.

(Y/n) was sure if the other leaders within their circle knew that this was how their boss conducted her business in the privacy of her own home, they would probably throw a fit at how unprofessional she looked at that moment.

“Ew, don’t you dare track any blood and guts on that rug, I just bought that.” She added when she took a moment to look over the edge of her screen.

“Maybe if your buddy Tomioka could have provided me with a little more info, I would have been back earlier and a lot less messy than I am right now.” (Y/n) huffed, removing what she could of her blood soaked clothes in the entryway.

“I could use some help here.”

Shinobu rolled her eyes and put her laptop on the coffee table. She sat up and stretched, but made no move to actually stand.

“Just leave them on the tiles, I’ll call someone to dispose of them properly. As for Tomioka, I’ll tack an extra five grand to his bill. Does that seem fair?”

(Y/n) pretended to mull it over before nodding, a smirky kind of smile tugged at her lips at the thought of a bigger pay day.

“Yeah, that seems fair for my pain and suffering.”

“Good. Now go clean up so we can decide what to order for dinner. It’s late enough as it is, we’ll be lucky if anything good is still open.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll try to be quick.” (Y/n) tip-toed as fast as she could to the luxurious bathroom, happy to see that Shinobu seemed to have filled the tub in anticipation of her late arrival.

“Anything in particular you hope is open?” Shinobu called from the couch as (Y/n) finished undressing.

“You know what I like. I’ll be fine with whatever place you want.” (Y/n) called back.

“Okay!”

It was still kind of surreal to (Y/n) how she had ended up here. When she was younger, she had been living alone on the streets and reached a point where she decided she was through waiting for help that would never come. She decided she would start helping herself.

~~~

The first time she killed was when she had been followed down an alley by a tall, foreboding man. He pulled a knife on her, but she pulled hers quicker, slicing and stabbing until he slid to the ground.

Her heartbeat raced watching him choke on his own blood, but she was surprised not to feel any regret or panic at what she had done. It was no accident, she made sure no one saw them enter that alley, she planned to kill him if he tried to attack her, but she didn’t expect to feel as eerily calm as she did.

She took his cash, easily sellable items that weren’t personalized, made sure that there was nothing around tying her to the scene and then stealthily left the alley with what she estimated to be about eight hundred dollars.

She doesn’t remember the man’s face, but she does remember that her belly was full for the first time in months and she slept in a room where the door could lock and had an actual bed free of mites.

She was careful, but it didn’t take long before people came sniffing around. People on the streets talked, and if you suddenly had yourself a decent apartment and a little money to spare, they were going to find out why sooner or later. Fortunately, that only seemed to grant (Y/n) more opportunities.

She liked to call herself a freelancer in polite company. It wasn’t a lie, but people typically pictured journalism or photography when she said that, not an assassin for hire.

The life she had then was a far cry from what she knew as a young teenager. She had a business. Whether one would call it respectable or not was up for debate, but the money was good and a valid job never went unfinished.

It was through her work that she had first met Shinobu. The freshly appointed leader of her gang after the murder of her sister at the hands of a rival group. A cult of all things. (Y/n) recalled it had been raining.

“You’re the assassin.” Shinobu stated it as a matter of fact as she matched (Y/n)’s strides, marching beside her in the flooded sidewalk.

“And if you know that much, then you know the rules.” (Y/n) had quipped, not even glancing at Shinobu as she walked on. “You stop at one of my designated spots, leave your info and I contact you. Got it?”

“I don’t have time for that.” Shinobu persisted. “I need to make him pay, now.”

“Well I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but I have a system and not even you are special enough to override that. You want my help, you follow the rules.”

Shinobu growled and turned abruptly in front of (Y/n), blocking her path.

“I am the leader of the Kochou Clan, and you will listen to me or you will be very sorry!”

“Ah, you mean that Robin Hood group that steals from the rich to give to the poor? I find that rather hard to believe, threatening me like this. Doesn’t sound like something leader of a respectable group like that would say at all.” (Y/n) taunted.

“And why would you come here yourself if you truly are in such an important position? Why come here at all, even? You should have really had an underling come in your stead. Not very smart, nor safe.” She tisked. She tried to sidestep Shinobu, but she blocked her path again, fire burning in her eyes.

“Kanae, my sister, the last of my blood related family after our parents were killed in a car crash, the kindest person to ever walk the face of this shitty planet, was just slaughtered in cold blood. I’m not going to sit back and trust that it will all just work out. I—“ Shinobu shuddered under the cold rain, “—I can pay. I will pay you, give you anything you want I—“

“Alright just keep your voice down.” (Y/n) sighed and took off her heavy rain coat, throwing it over Shinobu’s head. “You’re freezing, we’ll talk inside.”

This was why (Y/n) had a system. So pretty girls didn’t come up to her close to tears on the sidewalk where just anyone could overhear and now she had brought her up to her apartment so now she knows where she lives. She may be an assassin, but she was not heartless. That was her weakness.

They talked until well into the morning. Shinobu gave (Y/n) all the information she had and they negotiated the terms of their contract. (Y/n) had to school her expression to one of neutrality when she heard Shinobu was willing to give her half a million dollars up front and another half a million upon completing the job. There was no back and forth counter offers, that was just her first unprompted offer.

“That’s a lot of money.” (Y/n) stated the obvious, mostly because she was stunned into silence otherwise. It was all she could bring herself to say.

“For justice for my sister, it is nothing.” Shinobu replied.

(Y/n) rubbed tiredly at her face. She couldn’t believe she was going to say what she would next.

“I’m not taking a million dollars.”

Shinobu opened her mouth, to either cuss her out or raise the offer, (Y/n) didn’t wait to listen.

“I am not taking a million dollars because that’s insane. You use that money to help people. Your people do good things with that money and I’ve seen lives turned around since you guys started up. This bastard that killed your sister,” (Y/n) could really not believe what she was saying right now,

“I’ll kill him for free.”

Shinobu was insulted and refused at first, but in the end (Y/n) had convinced her that it would be a shame to have Kanae’s hard work wasted on an already well off assassin. That money had to go to people who really needed it.

Instead, Shinobu promised to give her no shortage of jobs. As pure as her gang’s intentions were, their means were very much not. She had many connections that could benefit from the help of an assassin. They shook on it and the deal had been struck.

It took about three months to find the man that had gunned down Kanae, and (Y/n) recognized him. A competitor in her line of business. She could have simply killed him. All Shinobu wanted was the head of her sister’s killer, but this man wasn’t the one who wanted her dead, he had simply pulled the trigger.

She tortured him until he squealed the name of the man who called for the hit.

“Douma!” He cried, “It was Douma of the Eternal Paradise Cult! I don’t know what else to tell you! He’s never even let me see his face!”

Douma, (Y/n) had heard of him. He was a very illusive man, however. Even if he wanted to meet with someone, the hoops he’d make them jump through were no joke. He was careful, calculated, and apparently wanted the whole Kochou Clan destroyed if the little wrinkled and outdated photo of Shinobu she found in the other assassin’s pocket was anything to go by.

She put the unfortunate conduit of Douma’s demands out of his misery and took his head back to Shinobu, telling her all that she could.

Shinobu sat stone-faced as she absorbed the information. She nodded robotically when (Y/n) asked her if she was okay. She had known that someone wanted her dead, but having it all laid out before her, to have a name, it was a lot.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” (Y/n) shook her head. “The job isn’t complete.”

“You killed the man who killed my sister. That was all I asked of you.” Shinobu reminded.

“He was only doing the job he had been given. Douma is the one who wanted Kanae dead. I don’t like loose ends and…”

And… (Y/n) had grown far too attached. Douma would find out that his hired gun was dead and he’d search for another. Shinobu’s life would be in jeopardy until Douma was dead.

(Y/n) hadn’t expected Shinobu to rush in to kiss her in that moment she paused, but she did. And (Y/n) certainly wasn’t stopping her. Maybe it was adrenaline from earlier, maybe all that teasing and flirting over the past three months had been leading up to this, but it seemed to mean more to Shinobu than just a way to forget about Douma’s plan for her.

(Y/n) knew she was in trouble the moment Shinobu came to her in the rain. Even then as she eagerly kissed Shinobu back and let herself be pushed into the gang leader’s bedroom, alarm bells sounded in her head as she broke all the rules she had so carefully placed for herself.

Don’t stray from the system.

Don’t form attachments with clients.

Certainly don’t sleep with clients.

And never ever ever fall in love.

~~~

Yeah, I’m in much too deep. (Y/n) thought to herself as she scrubbed, watching the water turn pink around her.

That had been over three years now, they had become lovers, moved in together, just decided to get engaged last week… it would have seemed like a happy ending if not for the dark cloud that still hung over their heads.

Still not a single helpful lead to find Douma after years of searching. In that time, (Y/n) had stopped eleven other attempts on Shinobu’s life. All the information she gleaned from the assassins completely contradicted each other, leaving Douma virtually untraceable. He definitely knew someone was trying to find him through these hired guns.

Some people had systems and knew how to stick to them it would seem, she thought bitterly.

Once she was clean, she drained and rinsed out the tub and put on some comfy clothes. She flopped onto the couch beside Shinobu and kissed her cheek.

Shinobu hummed, looking up from her phone’s food tracking app to appraise (Y/n)’s blood-free appearance.

“For as attractive as it is to see you splattered with the blood of our enemies, this is much better,” She kissed the assassin softly, “welcome home.”

“Happy to be home.” (Y/n) smiled wrapping her arms around Shinobu’s waist.

***

(Y/n) woke in the early afternoon, happy to see that Shinobu was still dozing beside her. She traced the colorful tattoos along Shinobu’s back with her eyes. An array of butterflies, dragonflies and flowers. Her gaze lingered on the largest butterfly that rested high against Shinobu’s shoulder blade. She had gotten that one done for Kanae. It was frustrating to think that they were no closer to avenging her death.

“I can feel you staring.” Shinobu grumbled, she took a deep breath as she flipped over. Her eyes remained closed as she tried to hold onto sleep, she slung her arm behind the assassin’s back, running her fingers up and down its length.

“Sleep another hour at least.”

“I’m supposed to meet a potential client at four.” (Y/n) reminded.

Shinobu hooked a leg around over (Y/n)’s hip to illustrate how much she disliked the reminder.

“I need to get ready,” she kissed the top of Shinobu’s head, “The sooner I’m done, the sooner I get back.”

“Fine.” Shinobu sighed and slipped her limbs off of (Y/n)’s body, cracking an eye open to watch her fiancée (Fiancée! She was still getting used to the word.) slip out of the bed.

(Y/n) hovered over her and gave her a quick kiss before pulling back.

“I love you, I’ll be back soon.”

“Love you too.” Shinobu mumbled through a sleepy smile. She buried her head into (Y/n)’s pillow and went back to sleep.

(Y/n) looked down at her adoringly for a moment more before getting ready for her meeting clear across the city.

***

(Y/n) went to sit at the chosen park bench overlooking the pond, and waited. If the client didn’t make an approach in another ten minutes, the window would close and she could leave, but a girl with long white hair came to sit beside her only a couple minutes later.

“What’s the job?” (Y/n) asked.

“My boss is particular. He’ll want to see you himself before he commits to your services.”

“Then he should have come.” (Y/n) shrugged.

Never let a stranger take you to a second location. That was just a general rule everyone should follow.

The girl reached into her pocket and (Y/n) pinned her wrist.

“Do not start pulling out cash here.” She warned.

“Listen, if my boss doesn’t get to talk to you, it’s my head on the line. You can search me, the car, hold a gun to my head on the way there, I don’t care. Just come.”

“Now I know it’s not that simple. If your boss won’t come here himself, he’s not going to like me knowing where he lives.”

“The location is off the grid. Even he’s never been there before.”

(Y/n) leaned against the bench and blew out a heavy sigh. This situation had bad idea written all over it. Yet something was telling her to go, and not just her conscious feeling bad for the girl playing messenger. She mentally apologized to Shinobu. This would probably take longer than she had previously estimated.

“What do I call you?”

“Call Me Daki.”

“Alright Daki, let’s get this over with.”

(Y/n) couldn’t believe she was doing this. She followed Daki to her car, noting the crisp license plates and fresh paint job. Whoever Daki’s boss was, was dangerously cunning and did not cut corners.

She’d need to be thinking three steps ahead or more with a guy like that. Curse her gut, she should have just listened to her brain.

Daki drove out of the city and into the mountains. That drive alone took three hours. Then she turned onto a gravel road and went on that for another half hour before stopping at a scenic outlook that looked like it stopped being maintained a decade ago. She parked next to the only other car in the lot. The only other car they had seen since they turned onto the gravel road.

“Get out.” Daki said, unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping out of the driver seat.

(Y/n) did, and found two men waiting on her side to pat her down and she tensed. She heard a laugh a ways off behind her.

“Don’t worry, you can keep your weapons. It’s just a formality, really.”

Against her better judgment, she listened to the man and allowed herself to be pat down. The men looked over her head shaking their heads at whoever was behind her.

“Aw, really? No phone?” The voice was closer now. “Why not?”

“Phones are traceable, personal.” (Y/n) replied simply, schooling her expression, she did not turn to face the man.

“Aren’t you smart. You haven’t even turned to face me yet. Afraid I won’t let you leave alive otherwise?”

“After all the effort you went through to get me out in the middle of nowhere? I’m considering it a possibility.”

The man giggled.

“You, I like you.”

A large, well manicured hand rested on (Y/n)’s shoulder.

“Seems like my sources are right, you are the real deal, and the real deal is what I need. Come now, turn for me, I want to see the face of the best assassin in the city, maybe even the country. I could never imagine killing such a fascinating human being.”

(Y/n) didn’t need to decide if she should turn, the man did it for her with surprising strength. She was met with vibrant eyes the color of rainbows, long hair so blonde it was more apt to call it white, but it seemed natural compared to Daki’s.

“Breathtaking,” the man crooned, “come sit, we have much to discuss.”

It was almost comical really, sitting down at a card thin folding table and a couple of camping chairs to discuss killing someone.

“Bring the cases, would you boys?”

The men that had frisked (Y/n) placed two hefty looking suitcases onto the table. Quite frankly, she was surprised the table hadn’t folded under their combined weight.

The men opened them with a motion from their boss and (Y/n) had to stop her eyebrows from noticeably shooting upward.

“Two million dollars.” The man boasted. “You may count it if you’d like.”

“I’m good. You haven’t even told me what the job is yet.”

“Ah, look at me jumping ahead! Of course, of course. I have to say you have me nervous. Looking at all this money without batting an eye… does ten million sound more appealing? Boys, pop the trunk.”

“That won’t be necessary. Target and specifications of how you want the job done first. Monetary negations last. That is, if we get that far.”

“So mean.”

The man pouted, though (Y/n) didn’t buy it for a second. For as expressive and eccentric as the man appeared to act, it all seemed to be… well, an act.

“I’ll weasel into your heart yet, my lady. Five million up front, five million after the deed is done. All you have to do, is kill this girl. Now, the photo is outdated unfortunately, she’s probably in her twenties by now…”

It took everything (Y/n) had to keep an impassive expression. She tilted her head and scrutinized the picture as if laying eyes on it the first time, but it would be the thirteenth time now that she had seen the same old, grainy photocopied school picture of Shinobu.

After years of dead ends, Douma had sought her out himself and was unknowingly propositioning her to kill her fiancée.

She could kill him, she could kill him right now. Except… his men were armed, Daki as well. She had seen the glint of guns in the forest as the sky turned orange. If she died killing Douma, Shinobu would bring her back to life and kill her herself.

She waited for Douma to finish his rambling, pretending to mull over how to proceed. She sighed and closed her eyes.

“Sorry, but I’ll have to decline.”

“Huh?” Douma blinked owlishly, “But why?”

“This either isn’t worth my time, or you are leaving important details out. I don’t understand why you would offer ten million for the death of a single woman.”

“Why does anyone do anything?” He moaned, slumping in his chair, “The Kochou Clan has been stealing my followers for years. Offering them money and resources when they have no where else to go, when all they have to do is come to me for salvation. They were really getting on my nerves.

Then they even took my dear Kotoha away from me when she went begging. Offering her the money she needed to take herself and her little boy far away without a trace. She thought me a monster, but what monster takes in a teen mother and expects nothing in return? She wasn’t very bright that one, so quick to overreact.“

Douma decided to lean in over the table instead, staring at (Y/n) with his big, empty eyes. Whatever Kotaha saw in this man, (Y/n) had no doubt she had every right to flee.

“I’ll admit, you’ll be the thirteenth assassin I will have had sent her way, thus the pay. Surely you would relish a challenge such as this. Is it still not worth your time?”

(Y/n) forced her voice to remain even, uninterested.

“No. I’m sorry. This just isn’t the job for me.”

“Why not?” Douma whined once more, flopping against the table.

“Because it sounds boring, frankly.” (Y/n) stood. “Will your friend over there drive me back to the city or do I have to find my own way back?” She bravely asked.

Douma giggled and shook his head in disbelief.

“You really won’t do it?”

(Y/n) fixed him with a stony look and let the question hang in the air.

“You are truly fascinating. I can’t get a read on you at all. Just what are you thinking in there? Who are you?”

“I’m sure you know as well as I, sharing that kind of information is the exact kind of thing that gets you killed.”

Douma bit down on his lower lip. Had he finally met his match? He wanted to know everything about this woman and he wanted to know now, but the chase would be good. He could wait.

“If you insist, then I guess we are done here,” he turned to Daki, “Take the lady where she wants to go, Daki. Get her back safely and you can keep your head.”

“Yes sir.”

As (Y/n) opened the passenger seat door and got into the car, Douma leaned down to look at her through the window and fogged the glass up with his breath. He drew a little heart in the steam and (Y/n) suppressed a shudder.

“I hope I’ll see you again soon, lucky number thirteen. I’ll be thinking about you.”

(Y/n) turned her head away and muttered to Daki.

“Could you just fucking drive already.”

“Shut up.”

Douma stepped away from the car and into his own. Before Daki could fully pull out (Y/n) could see him waving at her through his window.

Even now as Daki drove her back down the mountain she had to keep her cool. Had to act like she hadn’t just let Douma slip right through her fingers. She just had to keep chanting to herself that they had a face to go with the name. They would figure out how to proceed together.

“I can’t believe you turned him down like that.” Daki said for maybe the eighth time as she sped down the mountain. “You’re insane.”

“Can you tell me something Daki, does he usually let people who deny him get this far?” (Y/n) asked, watching the heart fade from the window.

Daki was quiet a minute, but shook her head.

“No, he doesn’t.”

Well, at least she had that going for her. He liked her for some fucked up reason.

When Daki got back to the city the sky was pitch dark and the street lamps shined like stars. So much for a quick meeting, but Shinobu would understand soon enough.

She directed Daki to the same park they had met and waited for her to drive off and waited twenty minutes more to monitor her surroundings and check her clothes for bugs and trackers.

Then she took the longest, twisty, back and forth path home that she possibly could. Traveling on foot, taking a bus several stops ahead of home, getting on a train to head in a totally different direction. She entered bars just to get swarmed in a sea of dancing bodies and disappear out the back door.

When all was said and done, it was about three in the morning when she allowed herself to slip into the backyard of her house and she almost had a heart attack when she found herself at the business end of one of Shinobu’s bodyguards’ pistol.

The young recruit apologized profusely upon realizing it was her and ushered her inside, warning her that Shinobu was not at all in a good mood before running back outside.

“Shinobu?” (Y/n) called out tentatively.

Now back at home, certain she hadn’t been followed or bugged, she felt exhausted.

She heard quick steps thudding against the carpet of the next room over and Shinobu came in like a charging bull.

“Where the fuck have you been? Quick meeting my ass, the sun has been down for hours!”

“Shinobu,” (Y/n) took Shinobu’s balled up fists in her hands, trying to hide the tremble in them, but of course Shinobu knew right away that something had happened and turned her hands over and held (Y/n) back.

“What, what is it?” She whispered hurriedly, matching (Y/n)’s volume.

“Shinobu, I found him.”

Shinobu froze. She needed no elaboration on who ‘he’ was.

(Y/n) sat her down and told her what had happened from the moment she met Daki to the moment she snuck into the back of their house.

Shinobu was deathly silent throughout (Y/n)’s story until she finished talking. She looked over the assassin, and pulled her steepled fingers away from her lips.

“Are you done?” She asked, voice low.

“Ye— ow!”

“What the fuck were you thinking?”Shinobu smacked (Y/n) again and would have gone for a third if (Y/n) hadn’t caught her wrist.

“He could have killed you!”

“But he didn’t and now we at least have a face to go with a name.”

“And now you are on his radar. Damn it, (Y/n) if I lose you too-“

“That’s not going to happen.”

“You don’t know that!”

(Y/n) pulled Shinobu into her arms, Shinobu hugged back, tugging at her shirt.

“We’re in this together just as before. Nothing has really changed. You have my back and I have yours. Whether he comes after us or we get to him first, it doesn’t matter. We’re gonna kill him, and then we’re gonna get married and not have to think about that bastard ever again.”

Shinobu breathed deeply and released a shaky exhale from her lungs, still holding the assassin as close as she could.

“He’s going to push harder now you know. I don’t imagine he’s the type to let an outsider of the cult see his face without some repercussions.” Shinobu murmured.

“He isn’t.” (Y/n) agreed. “But I think this is new territory for him. He just strayed from his system for the first time in who knows how long. He’s opening himself up to making mistakes. He’s just a man, he’s only human.”

Shinobu pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes. She stroked (Y/n)’s cheek and gave a smile that did not reach her eyes.

“I hope you’re right.”

***

The next few weeks were tense. Everything seemed to go on as normal but the couple knew better than to think they were in the clear.

The gang was put on high alert. Whether it was to search covertly for Douma’s location, providing protection for their boss and her bride to be, or making sure their investments and businesses kept running like a well-oiled machine, everyone was busy.

Shinobu would not let (Y/n) go out to take any jobs, worried that she would cross paths with Douma again. It was bad enough spending years with a bounty on her own head, but the thought of (Y/n) being in danger was unbearable.

She knew that (Y/n)’s profession had never been safe, of course she did, but Douma and his followers were not an average gang. It was a cult. They treated him like a god. Such devotion Shinobu was sure, was built on a foundation of fear rather than respect. And fear made people desperate, unpredictable. They would do anything, even if it was to their detriment, if they thought it would please him.

Shinobu felt like she was playing an intense game of Battleship. With all the information passing hands, she was sure it was only a matter of time before someone got a hit.

She closed her laptop, leaned back against the headboard of the bed and massaged her face in her hands. Beside her, (Y/n) slept. She looked down at her, smiling faintly.

They were meant to go to one of the warehouses tonight in the cover of darkness to deal with some complications, but Shinobu didn’t want to wake her since it had been hard for either of them to sleep well recently.

She pulled the blanket more snuggly over (Y/n)’s shoulders and quietly slipped out of bed. She left the safe house they had been moved to a week prior and she was flanked by guards as she entered the backseat of her car. Her guards filed in around her and they drove off of the property and down the dark, rural road.

The drive to the warehouse was uneventful. They rolled up to the building and the driver parked, turned the car off,

And was promptly shot in the head through the windshield.

The guard in the backseat with Shinobu pushed her down and took out his gun, shooting in the direction the bullet had come from while the guard in the passenger seat attempted to start the car up again so they could escape.

Unfortunately they were already surrounded, and before Shinobu knew it, she was being dragged out of the car, soaked in the blood of her people. She struggled against the hold fruitlessly until she was dropped unceremoniously to the ground in front of a pair of shiny black shoes.

The floodlights turned on with a loud mechanical twang and Shinobu’s jaw was tilted upward with a large, smooth hand. She was met with rainbow eyes and a sharp, sparkling smile.

Shinobu grit her teeth, blood boiling. So this was the man responsible for ordering the death of her sister.

“What a fire in your eyes,” Douma chuckled, turning Shinobu’s head in his hand until she yanked her head away. Douma giggled.

“I’ve been having others chasing after you for quite sometime. I’m flabbergasted by how easy this little operation of mine has gone. I guess that old saying is right. If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.” He said with delight, but then he pouted.

“But where is the assassin, your fiancée?”

“Go fuck yourself.” Shinobu hissed.

“So vulgar. Come on now, I don’t want to hurt her. She fascinates me in ways I have never felt. When my sources had found that she was engaged, and to you no less, it was not a good feeling.”

Douma motioned for his followers to bring Shinobu to her feet.

“I’ve waited for your head for years, I can wait a little longer to slice you open if it means (Y/n) will come to me… Ooo, hand that here, Gyutaro.”

Shinobu’s phone had fallen out of her pocket in the scuffle and the man Douma had addressed picked it up and tossed it to him.

“This is going to be so much fun.” Douma grinned.

***

(Y/n) awoke with a start and felt around the bed for her phone, frowning as she realized Shinobu was no longer resting with her. She managed to find the phone under her pillow and was bewildered to find that Shinobu was attempting to FaceTime her.

She sat up and turned on the lamp on the bedside table, then she accepted the call.

“There she is!”

(Y/n)’s blood ran cold and Douma kept talking.

“I understand why you turned me down now. Your impassiveness in the face of a man asking you to kill someone you are supposed to love… was that an act or did you truly feel nothing. I need to know.”

“Where is Shinobu?” (Y/n) seethed, gripping her phone tightly in her hand.

“Alive, for now. See for yourself!” Douma flipped the camera onto Shinobu, feet tied, hands behind her back presumably tied as well. She was splattered with blood, but (Y/n) didn’t think it was hers. She was roughed up, but alive just as Douma promised.

“Say hi, Kochou!” Douma waved cheerfully off camera.

“(Y/n), you stay far away from here, do you hear me?”

“What a rude thing to say!” Douma said aghast, flipping the camera back around, “I’m sorry, (Y/n). You’re fiancée has been so grumpy since we’ve met up. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it.”

His eyes looked cold as ice despite his easygoing expression.

“We’re waiting for you at the warehouse. I’m sure you know which one. If you want to keep her alive, get here within the next hour. We have a lot to discuss. Bye-bye!”

The call disconnected and (Y/n) launched out of bed to prepare her weapons. If Douma thought this was going to be some friendly little get together, he was dead wrong.

“Surround the place. Be discreet and for the love of god you better have them taken care of by the time I have to act or we’re all going to be dead.” She spoke hurriedly over the phone while she snapped a full magazine into a second handgun.

“It’ll be done. Good luck.”

“I’ll need it. Thanks Tomioka, consider your bill paid in full.” She hung up, strapped her weapons in, and ran to the garage. She threw her leg over the Ducati and turned the key. It wouldn’t be a quiet arrival, but she had wasted too much time already. She needed something fast and small to weave through any possible traffic.

She rocketed through the streets to the warehouse. Douma’s people took aim at her, but Douma held his hand up, motioning them not to shoot, but simply keep their guards up.

“What an entrance!” He clapped.

“Where is she?” (Y/n) tromped over in Douma’s direction, until she heard a couple guns get cocked by itchy trigger fingers.

“Inside with her little worker bees, safe and sound I assure you.” He grinned, “Come, come, let’s talk.”

“Anything you have to say, you can say it right here.”

“Why the rush? Didn’t you miss me? I thought we had a spark before.”

“You kidnapped my fiancée, killed good people and you’re holding more hostage. I’m not in the mood for pleasantries over tea.”

Douma blinked, then he looked behind him to a beautifully set table, then back at (Y/n) with a pout.

“But it’ll grow cold.”

(Y/n) took her time looking around. There were fourteen cultists milling about that she could see, checking the perimeter or watching her interaction with their leader, and standing outside the warehouse.

She could only imagine more were inside watching the hostages and she had planned on more hanging out in the surrounding woods. If things started popping off outside, she worried what orders the cultists inside might have been given.

“I’m cold. Bring it inside if you want to have tea with me so badly.” She snapped, nearly making Douma swoon.

He looked behind him and with a snap of his fingers, two of the people began moving the table inside. Then he gestured for (Y/n) to walk ahead.

Upon entering the warehouse her eyes scanned for Shinobu immediately and found her propped against the back wall. Their eyes met, and Shinobu looked furious as well as scared, but she did not speak up. Not wanting to escalate the situation.

The warehouse workers looked shaken, but otherwise fine. There were only five of Douma’s followers here including the two that brought in the table. A much more manageable number. Giyuu would still need time before he’d be ready to signal, but when he did, she was fairly confident that if she strategized her blows, she could kill the armed cultists before they could think to take aim at Shinobu or the workers.

She sat down in the seat that would allow her to keep an eye on Shinobu and the workers, but unfortunately that left her back facing the doors. It was a risk she was willing to take.

Douma sat across from her looking very pleased with himself and motioned for one of his followers to make his tea.

“How do you prefer yours?” He asked.

“It’s fine as is. Tell me what it is

you want from me.”

Douma sighed dreamily and rested his chin in his hand.

“I think I have a solution that everyone will favor.”

(Y/n) waited from him to continue. Subtly looking just passed his head to see Shinobu making use of the attention being off of her. She seemed to have found something to work at her bindings with. (Y/n) rolled her eyes at Douma, bringing her attention away from Shinobu so she wouldn’t be caught. Douma continued you talk, seemingly none the wiser.

“You stay by my side and work for me, and I’ll allow Miss Kochou to live against my own wishes and she may continue her work with ninety-five percent of her yearly profits reserved for me, but should you fail me,” he made a cutting motion over his neck and playfully stuck out his tongue, “I’ll make her death so much worse than a simple bullet through the brain like what her dear sister got.” He giggled.

“See, I can be reasonable.”

“And you think I’ll agree just like that?”

“I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t. I’m being very generous. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m breaking all my rules for you.” He said, sliding his hand across the table in an attempt to rest it on top of (Y/n)’s. Before he could, a thunderous bang of a gunshot rang from outside.

(Y/n) flipped the table and pulled a gun, firing it in rapid succession to kill the man beside Shinobu fumbling for his gun and the two walking amongst the kneeling warehouse workers.

She hissed as a bullet grazed her arm, dodging just before it could do any real damage. She rolled and took another shot at the remaining men covering their eerily calm boss. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Shinobu hacking away at the ropes on her ankles with a jagged piece of metal.

The doors were thrown open, but (Y/n) could see it was someone from Douma’s cult. She aimed for the fuse box, casting the warehouse in darkness, causing some of the warehouse workers to shriek.

She ran in the direction Shinobu had been in and whispered her name, searching.

“Here.” Shinobu whispered back.

(Y/n) reached her hand out and found Shinobu’s she squeezed it before sliding her gun into Shinobu’s hand and pulled out another.

“Are you okay? All untied?”

“Yeah, what’s the plan?”

“I hear ‘em!”

Bullets rained from the opening between the doors and (Y/n) used the light from the doorway to shoot at their silhouettes.

“Tomioka’s group is our backup. We have to hunt down Douma before he escapes.”

“Really, you called Tomioka?” Shinobu had the nerve to complain, shooting at another silhouette that was taking aim.

“I didn’t exactly have time to give everyone a courtesy call. Come on!” (Y/n) pulled on Shinobu’s free hand and stumbled through the dark building in the direction they had last seen Douma and his followers go.

They could hear footsteps clanging against metal steps overhead. Not wanting to waste any time, (Y/n) aimed above her head and took a shot, causing someone to yell. There was a scuffle and a body was thrown to the ground, making room for Douma and his remaining man to keep running.

(Y/n) and Shinobu kept following as best they could from the ground listening closely to the clattering feet above. As they continued further into the bowels of the warehouse, the steps above became more echoey and it made it harder to know which way to go.

Then the metal clangs stopped, causing Shinobu and (Y/n) to freeze.

Then there was a mechanical humming noise, a generator presumably. Row by row, the lights turned back on, causing the couple to shield their eyes from the sudden brightness.

“Peek-a-boo!” Douma sang, aiming a shot at Shinobu.

(Y/n) pushed Shinobu, both narrowly missing the bullets that came their way. They took shelter behind a couple concrete support beams.

“I think you’ve upset me, (Y/n), I really think you have.” Douma called peering down from the catwalk.

“I’ve been nothing but accommodating to you.”

“You’re delusional.” (Y/n) yelled back, tossing a fresh magazine to Shinobu.

“I’m going to have to retract my previous offer. I think Miss Shinobu will have an awful time now because of your obstinance.”

“Oh go fuck yourself!” Shinobu fired three shots, she clipped Douma’s follower in the side, but missed Douma completely. She quickly took cover before either of the men above could shoot her.

“Such a mouth! Was the rest of your family so tasteless?” Douma taunted.

Before Shinobu could do something more brash, a volley of bullets came from the direction of the main entrance.

There was a millisecond where (Y/n) thought that this was going to be the end, but then she heard Tomioka barking orders and a wave of relief washed over her.

Giyuu’s gang shot out the chains that held the catwalk, causing Douma and his follower to fall to the ground, not far enough to kill them, but they certainly had broken bones.

Someone shot the follower dead before he could lunge for his gun and (Y/n) shot twice, once to shoot Douma in the hand and again to blast the gun he had dropped away.

Giyuu signaled his group to hold fire as (Y/n) and Shinobu approached Douma together, guns aimed straight at his head.

Douma tried to move, but the fall must have done something to his back or pelvis, as he could do little more than raise his torso up on his elbows. Blood oozed from the top of his head, running down his face, but he kept a smile all the same, seemingly more fascinated by the state he was in than fearful.

“Am I… dying?” Douma chuckled disbelievingly, then it became a small coughing fit.

“Looks like it.” (Y/n) replied bluntly.

“How is this happening? I always get what I want… I’m a god.” He didn’t sound angry or indignant. Just mildly bewildered.

“You’re a man lower than dirt who did everything he could to stay hidden in shadow. Having your followers do all the dirty work.” Shinobu sneered, pressing the barrel of her gun to Douma’s forehead.

“I don’t know what went through your mind that made you think you were suddenly invincible after all this time, but I’m ever so glad for your hubris.”

Douma giggled, Shinobu dug the gun harder against his skull.

“You two,” he wheezed, his hazy eyes switching between Shinobu and (Y/n), “you two make me feel things I’ve never felt. I wish I had a name to put with this strange sensation. I’ve been chasing it since I met you, (Y/n). Perhaps one day, we’ll meet again in hell? Start fresh?”

“Shinobu, you can take your shot whenever you want, love.” (Y/n) said, ignoring Douma. “Unless you want to finish him some other way, but I’d be quick about it. He’s fading fast.”

“I’ve dreamed of this opportunity and I’ve probably imagined him dying a thousand different ways.” Shinobu muttered.

“But I’m tired. A nobody like him doesn’t deserve some grand, notable death. A quick bullet to the brain to avenge my dear sister. Then he shall be cremated and buried in an unmarked grave. Perhaps a scrapyard or a desert… somewhere desolate. I don’t want his ashes to dare nourish a single seed. I want no part of him feeding back into the cycle of life in any capacity.”

“Whatever you like my dear. I’ll see to it personally.” (Y/n) assured.

Douma took an intake of air, but Shinobu didn’t care to hear anymore of whatever he had to say. She took her shot, and it was over.

(Y/n) wrapped her good arm around Shinobu’s shoulders and placed a soft kiss against her hair. Shinobu leaned against her in turn, a shuttered exhale escaped her lips.

The Eternal Paradise Cult’s ‘God’ lay broken on the concrete, never to rise again.

***

That night had been a massacre. There was no way around that. Fortunately all of the warehouse workers survived, but the trauma they faced would undoubtedly follow them for possibly the rest of their lives. Shinobu gave them a dragons’ share of money for their ordeal, but she knew it would only go so far.

There was also the matter of the gang members she had lost. That had hit particularly hard. They were good people. She knew that the money she gave those families would never fill the whole that had been left, but it was all she had to give along with her sincerest apologies.

Then there were the cultists. Though they had followed Douma’s word, they were still human. Naïve, lonely humans with nowhere to turn. Shinobu commissioned a memorial to be built in place of the warehouse. It took a lot of research to find the names of all those that had been lost, but to Shinobu it had been worth it. It was purely for them. Douma’s name and visage were not included.

She had read a news clipping about the surviving cultists who had been left behind at the compound. Their feelings in the matter were… complicated. Shinobu could sympathize with that.

Then there was Douma himself. The authorities never found his body, obviously. He was cleaned up and discreetly cremated. Shinobu left the ashes to (Y/n) to take care of. She didn’t want to know where his ashes were as a final insult. All she needed to know was the he was a forgotten pile of dust in an unforgiving landscape and that would be good enough for her.

And as good a job as Shinobu and Giyuu’s gangs did cleaning things up and squaring things away, the authorities simply could not let a mass casualty event such as that go unchecked.

Tomioka managed to duck under the radar, but the remaining cultists made sure to drag Shinobu’s name through the mud. Again, she didn’t grudge them that, but it did make things a little difficult.

She liquidated what assets she could, giving what she couldn’t to her most trusted allies who she knew would carry on her mission, her sister’s dream.

And then she fled the country.

Shinobu took another sip of the refreshingly sweet cocktail she had purchased, sitting comfortably in a beach chair under the shade of a palm tree while she people watched.

She heard someone plop into the vacant chair beside her with a tired groan and she smiled, tilting her sunglasses to rest on the top of her head. She had been waiting for (Y/n) to make the flight to their new home all week.

“So where did you put him?”

“Oh you know, somewhere indistinguishable from the scorching sand I buried him under. Didn’t leave the urn. Wouldn’t even know how to find the spot again in a billion years.” (Y/n) shared with a yawn. “Ugh, this jetlag is killing me.”

“Aww, my poor baby.” Shinobu cooed, offering (Y/n) some of her drink. “Think you’ll be be better in time for the wedding or should we push it back a couple days?”

“What? No way, I’m tired of waiting.” (Y/n) stretched back against the chair, the scar on her arm poking out of the sleeve of her t-shirt. “I’m ready to be Mrs… whatever fake name we got saddled with.”

“Me too.” Shinobu hummed in agreement.

“It is nice here, don’t you think?”

“How would you know, you just got here and you can barely keep your eyes open.” Shinobu joked.

“Any place I get to be with you is nice.” (Y/n) yawned again, unable to keep her eyes open any longer.

“Aren’t you sweet.” Shinobu laughed. She watched (Y/n) sleep for a bit before turning her attention back to the surf, feeling as light as the foam rolling in on the waves.

[lil-tachyon]

I’m loving your solarpunk drawings and the world you’ve been building around it - even though most of the captions imply a decline in civilizational cohesion from our present condition, it’s reassuring to think ‘well, we’ll muddle through it somehow, we always do, and maybe the world that will follow might even be less shitty than our present one’.

That being the case, I want to pick your brain about more traditional sci-fi societal elements, especially in light of your saying that you don’t think mega-towers or arcologies or whatever you want to call em’ would take off (and I think you’re right):

1. Is armed conflict still a thing? On a national or tribal scale? And in a world with new constraints on resource scarcity, how effective is it at achieving organizational goals? On that note, if the old national-capitalist hierarchies are dinosaur-levels of irrelevant, what’s taken their place? Thinking about the militarization of national parks, the establishment of powerful firefighters’ unions - I guess I want detail on more stuff like that.

2. Does the internet still exist in any meaningful sense? I can see cellular towers going down with the grid, but do satellites still spin ‘round the earth for people to bounce comms off of? Perhaps one of its great features is exchanging material solutions, blueprints for 3D printers or something like that - or are 3D printers economically nonviable in the kind of solarpunk you’re imagining here? (I keep thinking about Cory Doctorow’s Walkaway on one hand, and Raymond Kurzweil’s concept for Atomically Precise Manufacturing and the Radical Abundance he says such technology would bring about on the other.)

3. How stark is the difference between urban and rural areas? Are there even relevant urban areas anymore? (I think there would be, relying on vertical or suburban agriculture to keep themselves independent of the country folk the city folk so fear and despise. But it’s your universe.)

Just thoughts. Really looking forward to seeing more of this rough-and-tumble solarpunk ‘verse in the future!

So glad to hear you’re liking it! I’m having a lot of fun drawing and writing this stuff and it’s really cool to hear people’s reactions to it. I’ll try to answer your questions the best I can.

1. I would imagine large-scale armed conflict with up-to-date weapons can only be conducted by global superpowers that can afford to requisition the oil and electronic components to manufacture modern weapons of war. In this scenario, that would probably be the US with access to most of the world’s oil and China with access to most of the world’s rare earths. They would probably engage in proxy wars over resources. Smaller powers would vie for support from American or Chinese “military advisors” in local or regional conflicts. Combatant states try to avoid total war so as not to completely deplete reserves of military resources, resulting in small conflicts that are feints-within-feints-within-feints of large economic conflicts.

I think empires will always be around, although how well they maintain control over their constituent components will vary. Tian gao, Huangdi yuan. With decaying infrastructures, both physical and electronic, large nation-empires will probably become less cohesive as communities further from the centers of power become harder to reach. The US will go back to being “These United States” rather than “The United States.” But the empires will try to hold on to power regardless. Smaller nations would probably see more overt changes. Resource scarcity and general global instability would likely cause revolutions all over the place (with each one being clandestinely contested by global superpowers). You’d see the emergence of new regimes that could be described as socialist, ethno-nationalist, monarchist, theocratic, democratic, communist, etc. The breakdown of global social order would be fertile breeding ground for new governments, for better or for worse. (I’ve been mostly focusing on tech stuff for the Inktober series as I’m really not very knowledgeable about geopolitics, but I can try to do more of this kind of cultural stuff if it’s what people find interesting. I like it too!)

2. The internet still exists, but for many people it is a public utility rather than a private luxury. Computers and phones are expensive and hard to repair, power outages are recurrent, and the infrastructure supporting the internet is expensive and difficult to maintain. Localized peer-to-peer file sharing networks are common and these networks connect to the broader internet when that connection is available. You’re right, many people in this scenario use the internet to find material solutions to difficult problems, I mentioned that a little in this post. So the internet is still around, it’s use just isn’t as ubiquitous as it is in our day and it’s typically reserved for important information exchanges rather than just web-surfing. 3D printers would actually probably be pretty viable. The difficult part would be obtaining components allowing for precision axial movement but stepper motors probably would still be pretty common and I’m sure you could make power screws with 19th century tech. And I don’t think the computing requirements are super demanding but I’m really not an expert.

As for radical abundance, nanotech, etc. I’m basically writing this whole setting assuming that their aren’t any “miracle technologies” that are going to save us but I can’t really rule that kind of stuff out. Maybe nanotech will become cheap and usable, maybe fusion power will as well. Who’s to say? (My gut feeling is that nanotech, when it comes, will result in some kind of epidemic of toxic nanoscopic trash and that fusion power is a long long way from viability yet, but those are literally just my feelings, they’re not based on any facts.)

3. I’m going to let you in on my dirty little secret: cities are very hard to draw which is why I haven’t drawn many urban scenarios for this project. That said, yeah, urban areas would definitely still be important. I think the key here is that the important urban centers of the future will be the ones that can protect themselves from wildfires, sea-level rise, and food shortages. So cities would probably be rife with greenery, have draconian fire-safety laws and would be equipped with flood mitigation infrastructure to rival or exceed the shutoken gaikaku hōsuiro. They would have more reliable access to 24/7 power and most of the rich would probably live in cities. I don’t see suburbs in the modern sense making it into the future. It costs too much to upkeep. They’d have to become much more self-sufficient to keep from falling apart in the face of food and resource scarcity. Rural areas would likely become self-sufficient communities unto themselves, repairing what they have, doing their best to keep the lights on with wooden wind turbines, providing communal light and heat from heliostat arrays etc. The only thing coming in to rural communities would be data from the internet, and the only thing going out would be food to the hungry cities. 

I hope this answers your questions! Feel free to ask more or suggest ideas. I’m not an expert on any of this stuff, I’m just trying to learn more about ways we might meet the challenges of the future.

Peace

[xheartpages]

Wishlist ( OC edition ).

Taking a page from Rianna’s book, and making a small ‘wishlist’ post for my ocs! I’m most likely gonna make more of these as time goes on for different muses, but my OCs are some of the muses who get the least amount of attention and I’m hoping to change that the most! <3

Akira Amaya:

A fellow musician! Maybe they decide to form a band or something, or they have steady gigs at the same establishment and they get to talking and learning more about each other.

A little plot thing I’ve always thought would be fun: Akira interacting with a muse who could be a part of the family she was adopted into. Be it a sibling, parent, or even extended members of that family. I think the dynamic would be really fun to write.

Maybe she meets someone who is a fan of her music? She takes it seriously, so she would work to have an online presence of some sort, knowing that it’s important in this day and age. Maybe they catch her after a gig!

Kaneko Akatsuki:

A former classmate/childhood friend; who was there before Izaya and who knew Kaneko before she fell under his influence. Maybe they keep in touch somehow? Or they catch sight of her years later and attempt to approach her. She’s so careful to try to not circle back to that part of her life that it would be interesting to write out. Maybe they try to convince her to get out of her shady activity?

With a child muse. I just--- think it could be funny tbh, haha. Kaneko is okay with kids; she’s used to them on a level, having younger siblings that she interacted with before being kicked out. Maybe they are homeless kids or something, or just young troublemakers.She can be a mentor/big sister figure, whether he wants it or not lol.

Okay, so I do have an Izaya that I constantly interact with - who she is married to and have demon spawn with/ LOOKING AT U BEE - but just... Izaya interactions!! There’s so many directions it could go; especially with her complete and under devotion/obsession with him. And Izaya himself has so many layers: will he chew her up and spit her out? Keep her close? Get bored? Of course, this is for those who write Izaya who are okay with her general backstory of course.

Any of the D.urarara!! cast. Just... any of them. Including ocs. It’s my comfort show and the characters are all so fun and interesting.

Crossing paths with someone and they are forced to stick together. Maybe a ‘innocent’ bystander gets in the way of a job and Kaneko is forced to take them with her in her escape. Maybe they were a target and she messes up for some reason. They’re both targeted and are almost taken out and have to hide out together? There’s just something so fun about the ‘two unlikelys stuck together’ tope that I want it with her haha.

Your muse hired her as a bodyguard/assassin. Bodyguard plots though--- come on, we all love it.

Someone who takes ‘Izaya’s place in her general story; and is the one who has her under their thumb?

Ruri Michiyo:

Friends w/ benefits? Ruri is a HUGE supporter of flings aside from relationships, and this always means tangling threads, so this would be fun. Possibly falling in love?

One of her pro-bending teammates? I headcanon her to having two male teammates, but of course we can plot differently if we want to! They can be friends or they can hate each others guts.

OTHER pro-benders! The circuit must be huge, let Ruri have someone to trash talk to lolol. Or ogle over. Either way.

Someone else who came from rough beginnings/ or who are still in rough situations. Whether she’s a probender or still working to become one; either in Republic City or the Fire Nation. She has her headcanoned childhood friend Yutaka, but it’s be great for her to have other connections.

Lemme use her Haikyuu verse!! ( or any of her other verse. This goes for all of them, tbh!! )

Mentor? Someone who Ruri looks up to who tries to gently guide her or something of the sort. Either in her main lo.k verse or modern--- although modern Ruri is way more messy so.

Isabelle Dawn:

Okay, I love the trope of ‘I have a spirit/ghost in my home and I have to keep them a secret, but they’re not scary and are kind of like a pet’ trope. Who wants to adopt Izzie as their spirit pet?

A bad muse meeting her. Maybe developing a soft spot for her, or just completely deciding to manipulate her for whatever reason. Could be another immortal or a mortal.

Let Isabelle use her powers on your muse. Maybe they have a nightmare or are suffering through a flashback, and she can use her abilities to push the memory from the forefront of their mind.

Kaleena Kanes:

**I admittedly don’t have a lot of ideas for her yet!! She’s open interactions, of course, but I don’t have any wishlist things yet!

Hathor:

As a goddess, maybe she’s attached to your muse or something? Not exactly as a familiar, but maybe even a ‘guardian angel’ sort of business?

She LOVES children muses, so let them have fun with her.

**my wishlist ideas are limited for her, but I would LOVE to write her much more!!

[ofravensandgenesis]

The Investment of an Antagonist - Part One

Entry 04. [Trigger warning content: post contains discussion of Far Cry 5 details including cannibalism, graphic violence, brainwashing, torture, child abuse mention, neglect, mentioned fatalistic/suicidal character pov, dark backstories, etc. Spoilers naturally. Part 01 of 03.] [Link to part two here.] [Link to part three here.] I was cooking dinner and had the sudden EUREKA moment of trying to figure out what exactly I want with regards to an antagonist for an original fic setting. Originally I was going to have a general state of conflict between two nations/city-states/etc on a larger, more impersonal scale, but that didn’t do anything to really interest me in that level of conflict. So I was thinking on why Far Cry 5′s villains and the conflict interests me so, and the eureka moment was realizing that they as villains have a personal stake in all this, and go about it in ways that are reflective of their stories. Specifically for the Seeds, it has me realizing it’s more interesting to me when the villain is acting due to personal motivations of an emotional nature and/or relating to their belief system, and in ways that compliment those internal motivations that can build out into or off of their backstories and other areas of the tale.

Like, it’s more than just a universally formulaic method of brainwashing for all of the people they kidnap during the Reaping (and before it, since it’s a cult and that means there’s a process of indoctrination, ie brainwashing.) All of the Heralds have their specific manner of doing so, and said methods are tailored to the particulars of each Herald’s backstory as is revealed to us.

— Jacob —

Jacob starves the Deputy and other “recruits,” exposes them to the elements, doesn’t give them enough water, keeps them near hungry and dangerous animals (pre-Judge wolves and Judges it seems.) He then gives them a bowl of raw meat that one can read as implied to be human flesh, particularly if Pratt’s anecdote about going hunting in what ends up being not-a-dream from online sources is taken into consideration, as mentioned in a previous writing-about-writing post. Link here to the audio, (credit and thanks to hopecountyradio,) transcription below: “I had a dream once that Jacob took me on a hunt. We shot some deer and he asked me to skin 'em. As I was cuttin’ ‘em open they changed. It wasn’t deer. I...I don’t think it was a dream.”

Obviously one can make some assumptions of Whitetail Militia imagery being used here, particularly given that one of the slides on the projector screens during the Trials includes a picture of Eli with antlers iirc (that may be only during the later trials or the last one, I am uncertain.) Ties right into the whole “the weak must be culled,” and “you are meat,” slogans Jacob’s got all over the place. The “only you” slogans and graffiti could also serve to foster the loneliness and isolation aspect of making the choice “to make the sacrifice” ie, the symbolic choice of killing Miller, or his surrogate equivalent in the case of everyone else that Jacob puts through his trials. I haven’t seen a lot regarding Miller’s ties to Jacob from in-game content but I could have missed something easily. The wiki labels Miller as Jacob’s friend, though I wish we had more detail on that. Most certainly, Miller was a member of Jacob’s unit, which based off of some reading and browsing on the internet, should still be a pretty close tie whether or not they were friends. The following speculation is based on my own interpretations of the matter and I have no history of serving in the Armed Forces, so if I’m mistaken or such feel free to drop me a line to let me know. Continuing: even if they theoretically hated each other’s guts, they were still a part of the unit, a part of the Army. That means they and their other brothers-in-arms lived together and fought together. They ate as a group, slept as a group, watched each others’ backs while on watch or during a firefight, fought along side each other, and did their best to keep each other alive while fulfilling the mission objective, working together as individuals brought together in a cohesive unit that also was a part of the whole. They all knew they had each others’ backs and that the others did the same for them in turn. Shifting between life-or-death situations and more peaceful times, it creates a bond and social structure that is very unlike most common, modern civilian social structures. There certainly at least seems to be a bit of culture shock in the US between the two environs, and Jacob seems to have experienced that, based on what we hear of his backstory in The Book of Joseph of having little to no support once back in civilian life (ie: deeply traumatized and staying in veteran hospitals until he ran out of money and ended up in homeless shelters) after being discharged from the Army. In the Armed Forces it’s about the group, rather than the individual. Imagine having that, knowing that, after being through all that Jacob has potentially been through. To have brothers in arms if not by blood by his side who he protects, who also protect him against the hostility of the world they’re fighting against. This is not to ding Joseph or John as characters by the way, all three of them were children at that point and shouldn’t have had to deal with any of that. Jacob loses what ties of family he holds dear with his blood brothers once he’s put into Juvie, perhaps makes friends there but is likely on his own once he’s out again, with very poor prospects given his history, and then he enlists. He’s alone and without support before he joins the military, and then suddenly he’s in an environment where there IS a form of support, and it’s predictable and structured down to the last bootlace (note: that’s a very broad statement and does not include variance and personal experiences, nor possible issues with potential power abuse or other flaws that might arise in such group structures.) Imagine Jacob being in the Army long enough to get used to that, to enjoy that aspect of it all, to share the camaraderie of bitching about the heat of the sun, sand in their socks, and getting yet another package of their least favorite MRE while trying to wheedle a trade with someone else for something better. Imagine him doing that with Miller, knowing how the other man likes the sugar cookie desserts in one MRE package and hates how the chocolate bars melt from the desert heat in another. Knowing what each others’ tells and bluffs are from playing poker on their down time while on a tour. Swapping stories about home...and noticing who doesn’t want to talk about the life they had before enlisting. Talking about the things they miss, the people they miss. Knowing who snores, who’s a light sleeper, all those things you learn when you’re in close proximity to a person for perhaps up to two years or so depending on deployment length. It could also be they’ve been deployed together more than once, as Jacob certainly went out on multiple tours per The Book of Joseph once again. Imagine Jacob knowing all of that and more about Miller. Then, day after day after day of being lost in the desert, with starvation eating away at their rationality, that hollow pain in their guts as their bodies start burning through their own cells and reserves to try to stay alive, running out of water and having to take chances with any drinking source they can find in the environment and having to expend precious energy to try or die early from dehydration, probably not sleeping well from the hunger, exhaustion, stress, possible enemy presence, dangerous wildlife... The brain starts shutting down real quick once we don’t have the resources it needs to run optimally. Some faster than others, but in Jacob and Miller’s case, their ordeal is definitely long enough to put them into that mindset of feeling that primal fear of a slow death by famine, weakness, scarcity. The psychological toll would have been heavy without a doubt, and that might’ve been compounded by experiences in Jacob’s childhood if his parents were not dutiful in buying food more regularly, which easily could be the case. Old Mad Seed needs more whiskey this month to fuel his raging, drunken fits of spewing biblical verses in a tyrannical fashion? There goes the money for the last few days of food. Easily could be how Jacob got into stealing candy (and likely also food in that case) for himself and his brothers. So Jacob would have a good idea of some of what’s coming down the pipe in that case. He knows how long the trip is, can reckon how fast the two can travel. Maybe he starts out hopeful in a grim way to start... ...but over time as things get more and more desperate (and it could be a familiar desperation he’s felt before as a kid going hungry, only worse,) “And I looked at Miller and I could tell we were as good as dead. And I accepted that. And in that acceptance...came clarity.” That clarity could very well be that Jacob decided that morality was futile if it meant you didn’t survive, which could very well be a very world-breaking revelation for him, since he is mentioned in his backstory to have had a praiseworthy sense of honor among other things. Certainly is potentially spirit breaking to go from being the older brother, the brother-in-arms who relied on and was relied on, who was trusted, to being a betrayer of that trust. A Judas, one could say, as he calls Pratt in his video after Pratt has helped the Deputy escape. And what does Jacob make the Deputy become, in relation to Eli? Eli, the man the Deputy was rescued by, was aided by, has been working alongside this entire time. Eli, who trusts and relies on the Deputy. Eli, who it could be said betrayed Jacob’s friendship with him by choosing not to hand over the Whitetail Militia and join Eden’s Gate (from Jacob’s perspective, based on his final fight dialogue.) “Hey. Only you could have gotten this close. Only you could have earned his trust. It was always only ever you. Good work. You did it. You passed your test. You made your sacrifice. But now...you’re alone. And you’re weak. And we know what happens to the weak.” That might seem contradictory at first, since in theory making the sacrifice should make one “strong” by Jacob’s line of reasoning, one might think. But the Deputy is a “traitor” now—to the Whitetail Militia by brainwashing (temporarily as we the audience know, pending Jacob’s death,) and to Jacob by choice, if one takes the following lines from Jacob into consideration: “You’ve forgotten your purpose, Deputy. You were on the path of the Chosen but now you’ve strayed. Fear did this to you, but don’t worry, I can help with that. I can remove your fear and give you strength. It’s not too late. Come back to me. Remember your purpose.” ”Deputy, know that I still have hope for you, but if you continue to support Eli and his merry band of cowards, that hope will cease to exist. Your judgement is cloudy because your mind is weak, but I have confidence you’ll make the right choice in the end. If not—you’ll all pay in blood.” Link to the audio for the above two lines here (credit and appreciation to hopecountyradio once more.) As with the other Seeds, Jacob starts out trying to persuade the Deputy to “see the light” and join the Project, but as with all of them, as the resistance meter rises and we draw closer to the final confrontation with him, he and the others abandon that idea in favor of trying to end the Deputy instead. So in this possible interpretation, it could be that Jacob views both the Deputy and Eli as traitors both. However...the two situations while both likely quite weighty with the Deputy being “the chosen one” to kick off the Collapse (or a herald of the Collapse if one wants to be cute with wording,) and Eli being an ex-good-friend or perhaps even ex-best-friend of Jacob’s, are potentially vastly different in emotional weight to Jacob. The Deputy is all tied up with this Collapse business, and while Jacob isn’t sure if Joseph talks to God, he does support him, what with being a Herald in the cult and all that. It involves the fate of the family, and in particular, Jacob’s family—his brothers and sister. Eli, however, Jacob has known for a while, likely years, back during the construction of the bunkers which Eli helped with, possibly and likely before then. I personally lean towards interpreting that as they struck up the beginning of a friendship, and Jacob hired Eli and his crew to help with the construction of the cult’s bunkers. Where they had their falling out is less clear as far as I’m aware. It could be it was during or after construction that Eli got a bad feeling about all of this Eden’s Gate business, or perhaps even as late as the beginning of the Reaping if that’s when Jacob gave Eli the “chance” to hand over his Whitetail Militia members, as mentioned in his final boss battle red-bliss section. That could’ve been the breaking point for Jacob and Eli, and if Jacob was expecting Eli to side with him due to friendship and perhaps some shared beliefs...perhaps Jacob took that...poorly. And by poorly I mean went full out on revenge of having Eli killed by betrayal of someone he’d chosen to trust—someone that Jacob had already gotten his hooks into. Someone Eli needed, in this fight against Jacob. Someone like the Deputy. The Deputy, who’s been put through starvation, exposure, and ingrained through conditioning and likely a liberal use of Bliss to facilitate said conditioning, to hunt. To train. To kill. To sacrifice. “You take away a man’s basic needs, and he will revert to his primordial instinct in just ten days.” [Chuckles.] “Ah, that’s a difficult thing to understand unless you’ve lived it...” This is what Jacob is putting the “recruits” and the Deputy through—his revelation. His experience. His choice. In the end as Jacob succumbs to his injuries, he is weak, he is dying, and he knows it, looking at the Deputy in his final scene. This time, he is the one who is sacrificed, by the Deputy, and in Jacob’s eyes by Joseph, to either try to end the chaos spread across the county, or to break a seal respectively. Jacob’s death is a means to an end—as Miller’s was. And Jacob “accepts that,” as he puts it. Does he accept it because now he’s betrayed the trust and faith of potentially two people he might’ve been close to? Miller, and then Eli? Is Jacob conditioning the Deputy during that red-bliss sequence of his boss fight to kill Jacob, based on how there are bliss-hallucinations of Jacob to shoot while destroying the beacons? There’s the generic Whitetail fighter, Judges, and Jacob himself scattered across the landscape before ending that sequence as far as I’m aware. Both Jacob and the Whitetail fighter present could be interpreted in this line of thinking as echoing the supposed betrayal of both sides and being “alone” against the world in a nightmarish fashion while Jacob potentially tries to break the Deputy through talking and said nightmare. The way Jacob talks though...is he strictly speaking to us, or is the Deputy actually a mirror as it were, with the things Jacob says being applicable to himself? “Don’t you find it ironic that everyone you try to help ends up worse off? Eli...Pratt...Tragedy just follows you. If you really wanted to keep people safe, be a hero...you’d just off yourself. Safer for everyone that way.” Is Jacob REALLY talking to us, or to himself through a medium? Through a glass darkly, as it were. He “tried” to “help” Eli and Pratt, in his twisted fashion, by trying to get Eli previously to join the Project and to make Pratt strong enough via brainwashing to also join the Project, which in Jacob’s perspective if he’s following his and Joseph’s dogma, is the only way to survive the Collapse. But Jacob has failed, repeatedly, to protect the people he held dear—his family. His friends. He’s become the threat they need protecting from. He has irrevocably perhaps proven to himself that under the right circumstances? He’s willing to betray people he holds dear for his own survival. Would he betray his family? That is the question, isn’t it. Perhaps Jacob fears finding out. Maybe he fears, that under the right circumstances, he would. Maybe that’s why he goes so willingly to be Joseph’s sacrifice, in part. Maybe having orchestrated Eli’s death, the death of yet one more person whom he was once friends with, yet one more person Jacob himself has betrayed, maybe Jacob doesn’t want to continue either. Maybe that’s the last straw, the nail in the coffin of underlying beliefs that Jacob is inherently not someone who can be fully trusted. Maybe he genuinely thought Eli would join him if given the chance. Maybe Jacob was still hollow and brittle as hell from the first time he’d killed a friend, when he killed Miller. All the Seeds bear the weight of their pasts heavily, and Jacob’s no exception. Jacob survived the first time, barely. He survived the second time, but not by long. He starts talking about his potential death at the Deputy’s hands quite early on during the red-bliss segment. Neither John nor Faith nor Joseph to my knowledge do so. Maybe he was waiting for the Deputy to be strong enough to finish what no one else could. Maybe that was what he wanted. “There’s no “win” for you here. It all ends bloody. For everyone. You die now, or you die later. It’s up to you. But either way? You won’t die a hero.” Perhaps that line from Jacob also is one of the things he fears most—dying without purpose. Dying being not a hero, a person who’s done good for others, but rather the opposite. Ironically so, given that he and his family are all in the torture and brainwashing business, but Jacob in particular gave up on being a good person a long time ago, I think, even by the cult’s standards. [Link to part two here.] [Link to part three here.]

[basic-cable]

Fic Rec Bingo

I saw this making the rounds on Twitter and decided I’d like to try it (mostly because I enjoy going back through my list and reminiscing about the ones I love but haven’t read in a while), but didn’t feel like Twitter was the best place to post mine. I’ve got both Dreamwidth and Pillowfort, but I haven’t really used them. This is probably the kind of thing that should go there, so maybe I’ll post it there, too. We’ll see. 

Anyway, I only read in four fandoms, so maybe my recs will be boring to most people. But they’re good stories, and maybe there are even some people out there who haven’t read them. 

I don’t expect any reblogs or anything, but maybe people will see it and decide they’d like to take part, and then there will be more fic recs out there making the world a better place.

I put them under a cut because the descriptions and stuff take up so much space.

1. A fic you love without knowing the source material Take the Pieces and Build them Skywards by quarterturn Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 44,816 ** Explicit ** Character Death Gerard's not happy with his life, but that doesn't mean he's particularly thrilled when he wakes up dead. To add insult to injury, he finds out that instead of crossing over, he's been chosen to join the ranks of the grim reapers. Things get more complicated when he falls for one of the living, a waiter named Frank Iero. And just when everything finally seems to be falling into place, Frank's name shows up on the list of souls to be reaped. Loosely based on the TV show Dead Like Me.

I don’t know anything about the TV show Dead Like Me; when I first read this fic in 2009, I had never even heard of it. I’ve wondered since then if I like it even better because I don’t know anything about the source material, but I’ll never know.It made me laugh and cry; it’s an emotional roller coaster, and I love it.

2. A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but does

An Inexplicable Occurrence of Angels by stele3

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 35,192 ** PG-13 ** No Warnings

I've messed with the band timeline, clearly. This is set in summer of 2005... but it ain't the Summer of Like. This is a story about second chances and gutting through your own failures, but never letting them defeat you. Take that, bitches.

Frank (Frank!) is a literal angel, okay, but there is not a thing I don’t love about this story. It’s angsty but still manages to be cute and charming as fuck, and the characterization is great.

3. A fic you’ve reread several times

Seeds by thesardine

Sherlock ** Gen, supposedly ** 5,475 ** PG-13 ** No Warnings

In a fit of boredom Sherlock plants some seeds, may or may not eat one cracker, and definitely waxes dramatic on the sofa for a while.

Sherlock struggles with a bit of depression caused by boredom, and accidentally discovers a hobby he slowly learns to allow himself to enjoy. I love this a lot; the author takes us into Sherlock’s headspace, so you’re painfully aware just how much he needs a distraction, and how much better off he is with John in his life.

4. A fic you still remember many years later

In Care Of by Fangs_Fawn

Harry Potter ** Gen ** 45,319 ** PG-13 ** Child Abuse

During the summer before sixth year, Harry finds an injured bat in the garden and decides to try to heal it...and an unwilling Snape learns just what kind of a person Harry Potter really is.

Between the Dursleys getting what’s coming to them, and the redemption of Harry, Snape, and Dumbledore in each others’ eyes, this story has really stuck with me through the years.

5. A comfort fic

Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 203,273 ** Mature ** No Warnings

The British Government accidentally clones Sherlock Holmes. Which brings a baby to 221B Baker Street.

Thousands of words of fluff. Literally. There’s not a lot of conflict in this story, which makes it a great comfort fic when your mind is too busy or real life is too depressing.

6. A cathartic fic

The Quiet Man by ivyblossom

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 157,369 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

"Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"

Post-Reichenbach John is walking the line between fantasy and reality, choosing to stay with the Sherlock in his head rather than deal with the reality where he no longer exists. He eventually manages to attempt a normal life, but he’s bored and basically sleepwalking through his days, so when Sherlock finally reveals himself, it’s the best kind of relief. They go after the last remnants of Moriarty’s web, in hopes of a second chance at the life they should have had together.

7. A fic you’d print and put on your bookshelf

Saving Sherlock Holmes by earlgreytea68

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John Mycroft/Greg ** 139,494 ** Mature ** Underage

Okay. So. This was literally supposed to be, like, three or four chapters as a prologue to the show. Sort of a "what happened in the Holmes childhoods to make them the way they are today." That's why it's set in the time period it is, because I thought I was eventually going to leave them to go on to the show. And then...I got a bit carried away and thought, Here I have established the two young Holmes boys. Now what happens if, instead of making them wait twenty years, I give them everything they need to fix themselves right now? Forty-three chapters later, you have this story.

To be honest, I would like to have most of my favorite fics in book form, with actual pages, that I could pluck from my actual shelf and sit and read without the glare of a screen between us. But I do enjoy the feel of this story, and I do believe it would make a good actual book.

8. A fic you associate with a song

Unholyverse by bexless

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 186,764 ** Explicit ** Violence & Character Death

“He thinks I have stigmata,” Frank said, because what the fucking hell, it couldn’t get any worse. He might as well just lay it out.

“Oh, well,” said Brian into his hands. “Of course.”

Every time I so much as think about this series, MCR’s Heaven Help Us starts playing in my head.

9. A fic that inspires you

Turn by Saras_Girl

Harry Potter ** Harry/Draco ** 306,708 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Frankly, I love every single thing this author has ever churned out, but this one is my very favorite. Harry gets a glimpse into what his life could have been, and a chance to make big changes he desperately needs. 

10. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

So, So Fucked by Anonymous

Bandom ** Pete/Patrick ** 12,565 ** Mature ** No Warnings

Pete accidentally "outs" himself and Patrick on Good Morning America. Only problem? They're not gay. What now?

I was reading strictly in Harry Potter at the time, and wasn’t interested in bandom at all, but my best friend was doing betas for someone who was writing in bandom, and she ended up getting into it and then wrote this one, and kept calling me about it to bounce ideas around, and the story was so cute, and Pete and Patrick were so cute, and I suddenly found myself totally invested. Honestly I think it may have been one of the best things that ever happened to me.

11. A fic you wish could be a movie

The Anatomy of a Fall by novembersmith

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 107,525 ** Explicit ** Violence & Character Death

The unholy union of a high school AU and a ghost story. Gerard's life takes a strange turn when his family moves to a small town in Vermont and he discovers the locals aren't all what they seem to be. Also includes: unexpected nature walks, murder, pining, improper treatment of crime scenes, a number of bone-related puns, high school bullies, and a short-range shrub named Ferdinand.

This story has excellent imagery that I think would work really well on the big screen. Plus I can’t even hear the name of it without my heart doing flip-flops.

12. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

Seven ficlets for Valentine’s Day Part VII by RedOrchid

Bandom ** GSF ** 1,042 ** Mature? ** No Warnings

Panic-as-cleaning-equipment-AU Valentine's Day GSF.

I technically don’t have a fic for this bingo square, but this one comes close, I guess. The author was already in my larger circle of friends, but we didn’t actually talk to each other? She wrote this crack ficlet around the same time we started talking to each other more, and I still vividly remember it because of the genius involved in turning band boys into literal cleaning equipment. The line “Ryan bristled” has stuck with me to this day.

13. free space

Elf ‘Verse by mokuyoubi

Bandom ** GSF ** 103,247 ** Explicit ** Underage

Modern AU where Ryan is a famous poet, and he and Spencer are fiercely private and insular and stupidly co-dependent until Jon shows up and effortlessly breaks down all their walls.

Or

Wherein Brendon and Frank are Christmas elves who, inspired by Will Farrell movies, venture into the real world to become rock stars. Or something of that nature.

I’ve got a lot of love for this universe for various reasons, but it’s also fun and heartwarming and honestly, I don’t really need anything else.

14. A fic you’ve gushed about irl

Harry Potter and the Battle of Wills by Jocelyn (and her mum)

Harry Potter ** Mostly Gen ** 137,385 ** Basically PG-13 ** Character Death

Harry mourns his godfather as the war finally begins in earnest, bringing tragedy and new struggles for all those on the side of Good. If they hope to win, all quarrels must be set aside, new alliances must be forged, and Harry Potter must find the courage to face down dark wizards, his own emotions, and a destiny he did not choose. Snape blows his cover as a spy to save Harry from Voldemort.

This begins after Order of the Phoenix, and the story and characters read more like canon than any other HP fic I’ve read, so because of that and because it’s so, so good, I like to rec this one to people who are new to fandom.

15. A fic you associate with a place

Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi

Harry Potter ** Harry/Draco ** 57,582 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

Wiltshire! I’ve never actually been there, but this author is really good about details. The story is also lovely and funny.

16. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Home is a Name by Arsenic

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 39,314 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

MCR Clinic of Love. Companion fic to Wednesday Night Boys.

Okay, so this one is actually a sequel, and the first installment, Wednesday Night Boys, should 100% be read first. It must be said, though, that while the sequel doesn’t have any warnings, Wednesday Night Boys is about the Panic! kids as prostitutes, and has warnings for graphic violence, rape/non-con, and underage sex. The MCR guys work at the free clinic, and Home is a Name focuses on them. They’re honestly both gorgeous stories.

17. A fic you found at the right time

real or not real by thearkdelinquents

Anne with an E ** Anne/Gilbert ** 11,587 ** PG ** No Warnings

“I could do it.” Gilbert said, looking straight ahead.

Anne stopped. “What?”

He turned to look at her; they were just outside Green Gables now. “I could do it. I could court you.”

“What- We- You- I- You don’t like me like that.” Anne sputtered.

Gilbert smirked at her. “Well we could pretend. I could court you and be your fake boyfriend.”

For one of the few times in her life, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert was speechless.

-

a fake dating fic but it's basically just a shirbert To All The Boys I Loved Before au.

I really, really loved Anne with an E. When the final season was released, I spent a weekend binge-watching the entire show, and then it was over and I was bereft, so I decided to see what was available on Ao3, and I found this, and it was exactly what I needed. And now I have another fandom.

18. A fic that you would read fic of

Left by lifeonmars

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 45,153 ** Mature ** No Warnings

John Watson is left-handed.

He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

In this universe, all right-handed people have some kind of power, or ‘knack’, most of which are mild and easily categorized. Sherlock’s is rare and believed to be the only one like it in the world. John is left-handed, part of the 10% of the population without a knack. I would read all kinds of fics of this fic.

19. A fic that made you laugh out loud

What to do When Your Flatmate is Homicidal by hyacinth_sky747

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 58,650 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

Sherlock takes Molly's advice when dealing with his dangerous flatmate.

Heartwarming and hilarious. I laughed a lot.

20. A fic with a line (or two) that you’ve memorised by heart

A Necessary Requirement by Bexless

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 3,759 ** Mature ** No Warnings

Right, here is the extremely silly storylet I wrote BY HAND on holiday. On PAPER. With a PEN. My god. The things I do when I'm separated from my beloved net. It is set during the Summer of Like (Warped '05, for those of you who don't know) and is basically a product of my reaction to various pictures of Gerard groping himself on stage, which led to me obsessing about his dick and what it might look like. As usual, I chose to work this obsession out through Frank.

This fic could have gone to multiple other squares, but I am not usually the kind of person who can quote lines from things, and I have many lines from this story committed to memory. I’ve read it multiple times, because I read it every time I need a pick-me-up or a good laugh. Or if I’ve read something scary and I need something lighter before I can actually get up and move around my house...

21. A fic that gave you butterflies

Pretty Much A Sex God by adellyna

Bandom ** Spencer/Jon ** 3,985 ** PG-13 ** No Warnings

Jon and Spencer’s first date.

The Jon in this story is so soft and warm and fluffy and his character makes my heart and stomach do weird things.

22. A fic that embodies something you value in life

A Marauder’s Plan by CatsAreCool (Rachel500)

Harry Potter ** Harry/Hermione ** 865,520 ** PG13 ** Violence/Death/Underage

What if Sirius decided to stay in England and deliver on his promise to raise Harry instead of hiding somewhere sunny? Changes abound with that one decision...

ALSO

Harry’s New Home by kbinnz

Harry Potter ** Gen ** 318,389 ** PG-13 ** Abuse

One lonely little boy. One snarky, grumpy git. When the safety of one was entrusted to the other, everyone knew this was not going to turn out well... Or was it? AU, sequel to "Harry's First Detention". 

In these two stories, Sirius and Severus throw everything they have into creating the best possible world for Harry, as he is their number one priority, because that is exactly how parenthood should be. 

23. A favourite AU

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 156,714 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?

This has got quite a bit of schmoop, which isn’t usually my thing, but this story is so, so good, and I always love stories that describe Sherlock realizing and appreciating how extraordinary John is.

24. A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading

Collared by VelvetMace

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 83,028 ** Explicit ** Violence & Rape/Non-Con

In a world where the British Empire is still strong and slavery is her economic backbone, John has become a terrorist for the abolitionist movement. He is caught by Mycroft, enslaved, and given to Sherlock for training. The goal: To test a new kind of slave collar with the power to break even the strongest willed fighter. One that will make even John learn to love being a slave.

Dubious consent, and humiliation. I remember staying up very late reading this one, even though I had to work early the next morning. I just couldn’t put it down. 

25. A fic that made you feel seen

Buy Handmade by jjtaylor

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 18,755 ** Mature ** No Warnings

He knows something else is going to happen; his life isn't always going to be this. He just doesn't know what has to happen for that change to come, for him to wake up and become an artist with an Etsy page and a home studio, and to never have to see a cubicle again.

This is the story of my heart. I have felt Frankie’s feelings and thought his thoughts, and I love that he does something about it, and I love Gerard so, so much. I first read this in 2009, and my love for it has never wavered. I could have used this one for a good half of the bingo squares, but it’s the only one that could go here.

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Taylor Swift Lover Reaction

The day's here. Taylor Swift released her new album Lover, so I'm going to talk about it. I've been super hyped for this album ever since Me! was released and I was excited to see what Taylor was going to do after Reputation. It definitely looked that after the darker tone of Reputation, we were going to get more of a lighter tone for the TS7 era.

How I'm going to do this, with each song, I'm just going to give some thoughts I have on it. Some songs, I have more to say and others, I have less to say.

1. I Forgot That You Existed

It's an interesting song to start the album with. The first part of the journey into the Lover era is moving away from the toxicity you've experienced which makes sense, once you move away from the hate, you can begin to love. Interesting to see where it'll lead. And I totally feel Taylor on this. It really is a magical moment when you've been bothered by someone so much but then bam! a moment hits and you realize you don't care about them anymore. It really is kind of freeing.

2. Cruel Summer

Hello, Speak Now days! How I've missed you! I've never really complained about Taylor's change in genre, I really liked both 1989 and Reputation but I still do carry a flame for Speak Now when she had that mix of country, rock, and pop and I'll always miss those days. So to hear the style come back a little bit in the form of the wide, all-encompassing bombastic sound this song had, well, it was a real treat for sure.

3. Lover

A song I'm familiar with. This was released early as a single so it's gotten some radio play. It's a cute song and I love the slightest echo she puts on her voice in post production to create the sound. It really gives something to the overall vibe of the song. With all that said, Lover is not a song I'm too terribly "in love with", pardon the pun. I don't mind it, I think it's cute and I'll sing along with it on the radio, but it's not something I'll go out of my way to listen to. It's actually kind of interesting that I feel this way for the titular track on this album because I felt the same way for the titular track on Speak Now. But it's not a slight on either of the albums. The songs may not be the best imo, but the themes they represent over the course of their albums is why they're titled that way so I completely understand why they were used. So maybe Taylor is using a lot of inspiration when writing the Lover album that came from the Speak Now era.

4. The Man

We got a fast-paced song here that's super catchy. I like it.

5. The Archer

It's track 5. The fabled Track 5. If you're familiar with Taylor Swift and how she sets up her albums, you know track 5 is usually reserved for an emotional, hard-hitting track. So Reputation had Delicate, Red has All Too Well, Speak Now has Dear John, Fearless has White Horse, and the self-titled first album has Cold As You...all are just gut-wrenching emotional. I did leave out 1989 because for me, that one seems more like it was an exception to the rule but maybe there are folks out there who thought All You Had To Do Was Stay was gut-wrenching.

Everytime I listen to The Archer, it chokes me up. As much as I hate it because I want Taylor to be happy, she does heartbreak real well and she knows how to bring out those emotions with her writing in the best ways. There's just something so bittersweet and defeated in the overall vibe of The Archer and it's heart-breaking.

6. I Think He Knows

Such a retro but also very modern sound and also the perfect song you need coming out of The Archer. It's fun and upbeat and cute.

7. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

I don't even know how to describe this song and my feelings for it, it was that good definitely on par with my love with Getaway Car from the Reputation era. I really like it, I'm definitely going to listen to it again, and the metaphor used for this song was implemented perfectly.

8. Paper Rings

Another fun, cute song that I'm going to have fun singing and dancing along with as I listen to the album over again.

9. Cornelia Street

I think this might be my favorite song of the album. It was just a perfect mix of the new Taylor sound with the old Taylor writing style.

10. Death by a Thousand Cuts

Definitely not my favorite on the album and certainly Cornelia Street was in no danger of being replaced. This song isn't bad, it's a song that's just kind of there, but if it wasn't, I probably wouldn't miss it. It doesn't really illicit any kind of emotion in me.

11. London Boy

Taylor is just on a roll in this album with her quirky, happy, upbeat kind of songs. I feel like she was really try to perk us up after The Archer. But I'll definitely listen to London Boy again.

12. Soon You'll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)

Of course, since I made a comment about how fun and quirky the songs have been since The Archer, that means Taylor has to bring us back down to another heavy-hitter, and it's featuring the Dixie Chicks so I expected nothing less than a soul-crushing track. This song is hard to sit through with dry eyes. The hopelessness of the situation Taylor is lamenting about but still clinging onto hope because that's all you have is really truly gut-wrenching and I can see myself listening to this song over and over again and crying each time.

13. False God

For a song that made a few references to NYC, I kept on getting hardcore New Orleans vibes from the instrumentals in this song. Maybe that was a part of the metaphor as this song is about a relationship that is out of flux, not quite matching up with the ideal so the instrumentals having the same vibe makes sense. But even if that wasn't intentional, who cares. That's my interpretation and I'm going with it.

14. You Need To Calm Down

Another song I'm very familiar with, another single. It's a fun, summery kind of song despite all the controversy it had. I had a lot of fun laughing at the irony of the situation within the controversy as I'm sure Taylor did as well -- the song is about not putting all of your energy into something you hate and that's exactly what the Taylor haters did when this song was released, thereby proving Taylor's point and it was hilarious for me to watch unfold.

15. Afterglow

Still not quite on the level as Cornelia Street but I can see this one definitely making it into my Top 5 for this album. I know this song is going to be in my head for a while.

Speaking of songs that get stuck in your head, we've finally gotten there, let's jam to Me!.

16. Me! (Feat Brendon Urie)

The first single released and I love this song, I know the lyrics by heart. I was super obsessed with it when the single released. And spoiler alert: it definitely will make it into my Top 5 for this album. But I am sad Taylor went back into the recording and took out the "spelling is fun" part of the audio. I don't appreciate the censorship, I'm just saying. The "spelling is fun" line was cute and was a really nice segway into -- girl, there ain't no "I" in team, but you know there is a ME, you can't spell "awesome" without ME. It fit perfectly with that verse and anyone who hated it or thought it was cringy simply has no taste...that's right, if you don't like the things I like, you have no taste😛.

But Taylor and Brendon was just the perfect combination of artists I didn't know I wanted a collab with until I got it. They both are just so weird and dramatic in their own ways and it really shined through in this song. I hope we get more collabs from them in the future.

17. It's Nice To Have A Friend

I love the instrumentals and harmonizing going on in the background of this song. It was actually really hard to pay attention to the lyrics because I kept on getting distracted with the cool sounds going on in the background.

18. Daylight

What a great song to end this album on. The entire album has been exploring the theme of Love and all the different facets and shades it comes in and it all culminates into Taylor reminiscing through this song the trials and tribulations she's been through and how now she can see everything clearly because she's finally found the daylight. It's just a great way to end the album. And there's a little message at the end of the song where Taylor is speaking, "I want to be defined by the things I love, not the things I hate...you are what you love." And that's such a great message to send. Too often, we all get caught up in negativity and the things we hate when we should be putting all of our energy into things we love. And it kind of takes you full circle to the first track which was I Forgot You Existed where Taylor was making the decision to move on, to end the hate, and just be apathetic towards that person. It was such a great way to end the album.

So overall thoughts in the album? This is definitely something I'm going to have to listen to a few times to really have any definite feelings on. I mean, we're talking 18 tracks here, this was a huge album and this wasn't even the deluxe version. When I get my hands on the deluxe version, we'll see what that one has. So yeah, there is a lot of material to sift through on this album. But I guess premature thoughts? It's a cute album. I don't know if it's my favorite. Speak Now probably still holds that title but this album is definitely enjoyable to listen to particularly if you do like Taylor Swift. If you were a hardcore fan of Taylor's older stuff and you weren't really feeling the genre change, have no fear, you might like this album. It still has that very modernized pop sound but there are definitely elements of her country roots here that you'll probably enjoy. Ultimately, this album, soundwise, is a real nice amalgamation of all of Taylor Swift's different sounds just like lyrically, this album is the culmination of everything she's learned and grown through over the course of her previous albums. This album is really aptly named and I'm so glad to see Taylor release this kind of album. She feels things so much, whether she's happy or sad, and music is her outlet. She really is a Lover who wants to share that with the world and I think we're incredibly lucky to have her.

So my Top 5 currently for this album is as follows.

5. Afterglow

4. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

3. The Archer

2. Me!

Was there any question what my favorite track on this album was going to be?

1. Cornelia Street

Awesome job, Taylor! As per usual, you never disappoint. Another fantastic album.

[kae-karo]

pls post your mine hcs!!! i would love to hear them b

hi b! for context (x) okay i should clarify, i shouldn’t have called them hcs as i think people take that with a lot of connotation to mean ‘i actually think this happened/would happen’ when really it’s more like...

okay. if i were to write a fic with dnp as characters who exist exactly as we see them (as in, we know everything abt their personalities, which irl we absolutely do not) then this is how i imagine the character of dan would see most of the songs on ‘a brief inquiry into online relationships’ and why he would say that he feels ‘personally attacked by literally every song on this album’ - to be clear, i don’t think this is actually what dan thinks! please treat this as fiction!

bear with me bc i wanna talk abt some of the others first (i also wanted to include the links to the genius interviews where matt talks abt some of the meanings behind the songs, but it doesn’t have all of them so check out the lyrics as well)

give yourself a try (x) - i mean obviously this is the one dan felt he related to most/felt most safe posting about how he related to it/was personally attacked by it, but the whole thing is like. being yourself, and like? embracing yourself? as a person? as whoever you truly are? and they keep coming back to the idea of authenticity with this whole album, and i think that’s part of why dan would be so ‘attacked’ by this album bc he’s in the throes of his own search for authenticity

love it if we made it (x) - this one’s fun bc it’s basically all about how fucked up society is and like. all the things that’ve gone wrong, how society is just so beyond messed up, and it’s like. yes. all of this is so wrong, messed up, but there’s hope? like we can be self-aware, we can make differences, and i would imagine dan listening to this and feeling like. maybe torn? because there are some things where he’s trying to make a difference but some where he would want to but not know how? so y’know personal attack on him in the sense that it’s a personal attack on everyone - we’re all complicit, in a way, and part of it is just because we know all this is happening but how much do any of us try to enact change? i imagine that’s something that keeps dan up at night, tbh. i mean the man spent an hour picking up snails off a sidewalk so they wouldn’t get squished

be my mistake (x) - this one is interesting bc the artist explains it’s really just about guilt, on a deeper level, and about not knowing what you want? ultimately even tho it’s about like a hookup with someone you don’t know that you really want, i think dan would take this more at the deep level of like. having no idea what he wants in life (something he’s said before, multiple times) and? perhaps in a sense, going back to things that he knows don’t actually represent what he wants (ie, that don’t feel authentic) but knowing the outcome and maybe just feeling safe or at least feeling something significant from them, maybe like he’s fulfilling what other people want of him by doing these things even if they don’t quite feel like him

sincerity is scary (x,x) - i think this is one of the ones dan would feel calls him out the most - it’s all about a person’s relationship with social media, authenticity, and self-perception over external perception? so like. the entire first verse is all about hiding behind a mask of irony and like. i think for dan that’s a hard-hitting callout? and i don’t just mean his whole brand of how everything was done/said ‘ironically’, more that even now he hides his fears behind jokes and such, bc that’s a culturally relevant way to do things (’you try and mask your pain in the most post-modern way’). the whole idea is like. if you’re being ironic, if you’re masking everything behind jokes and insincerity, you can’t actually be judged the way you can if you’re authentic and sincere? so like. there’s dan’s fear of judgment plastered all over this song, his fear of people looking at him for who he is and disliking it or perceiving it in a way he doesn’t like (’and why would you believe you could control how you’re perceived when at your best you’re intermediately versed in your own feelings’) it’s like. and he’s said this a couple times now, but he doesn’t always know why he does/thinks certain things, there’s not always a reasoning behind it, and i think that for him, that contributes to his struggles with authenticity. i think this is really doubly intriguing when ttlmt is taken into account as well? bc he specifically says that for ‘some people’ (aka him i mean this is known at this point) unless they’re being honest with themselves, they won’t feel free. and i think that’s like. dan’s internal struggle right now/this past year: how to balance his evident need for authentic and honest self-expression with his deep-rooted fear of judgment of his authentic self. i mean read the damn title of the song, sincerity is scary

i like america & america likes me (x) - i’m sure there’s a deeper meaning to how dan would interpret it (aside from the obvious and intentional callout about guns in america) but all i can think about is talking about being on fire, being a liar, ‘is that designer?’ etc, and the death of dinof. but also y’know about calling out things that are Wrong 

the man who married a robot / love theme (x) - i think this one is maybe one that dan felt absolutely viscerally attacked by, this is a direct callout on his relationship with the internet and his audience. it’s presented as a relationship, a friendship, a love, but like if you step back and go ‘this is about a person and an audience’ it’s so so much more heartbreaking. i mean the internet saying ‘i love you very very much...i never ever want us to be apart ever again ever’ like that’s us that’s literally us we want constant content from them? and i think for a time, dan did feel like he would want that. because that’s fame, right? ‘and he would always always agree with him. this was the man’s favorite’ i know this is a commentary on like generally the culture of the internet but i have a feeling this is something dan would feel p hard. but i would imagine ‘i feel like i can tell you anything’ is the part that would be the most gutting, bc he put so so much of himself out here for us. and i would also wonder how hard the abruptness of the ending would hit - the sudden ‘and then he died’ after ‘man does not live by bread alone’, the acknowledgement that dan couldn’t just survive on his audience (and, more extensively, the internet), and how 1. he could still die lonely, had that been how he felt (i don’t think he does, but diversifying oneself and one’s relationships is emphasized here) and 2. the almost insignificance of an online presence, in objective terms, like. all that’s left of this lonely person is his facebook. i think that ties in really strongly with dan’s desire to leave something physical behind, like tabinof and dapgo and the ii dvd, something as physical evidence they existed and made an impact

inside your mind (x) - so concept is just...seeing inside your partner’s head? and like i feel like that’s something dan would want, or care a lot about, in some sense. a bit violent, lyrically, but i wouldn’t doubt that he cares (or, perhaps at a time in his past, cared) about it quite a lot some days. i think he just really cares about what other people think about him, probably especially phil, but also like the deep desire to understand someone? esp someone you love

it’s not living (if it’s not with you) (x) - okay this one’s very straight up about heroin addiction but i would definitely wonder if dan felt it like. in connection to phil in some ways? and i know the easy connection would be that dan wouldn’t be able to stop thinking abt phil and uwu it’s not living if it’s not with phil but the lyrics are actually quite dark? i would actually guess it had more to do with like. he couldn’t stop thinking about phil and wanting to like. be openly with phil (heyyy that authenticity yo) but also like. the repercussions of openly being in a mlm relationship on his life and his career at the time, and even now, ‘if i choose, then i lose’ like if he picks being open, there may be consequences in his career (although, more and more lately i wonder if he doesn’t care so much anymore), but ofc if he picks his career, he’s suffering from this lack of authenticity that’s haunted him for a while

i couldn’t be more in love (x) - so the whole song is more about a relationship with an audience/fanbase, and like what would happen if people just stopped caring and how like. putting so much time and effort into their relationship w. an audience and like, what about the creator’s feelings? i think dan would take that really seriously, like, we’re all really nice most of the time but what if we stopped caring? and like how would that affect him, after having given us nine+ years of himself? the other thing it touches on is the idea of just relying on ‘all the things that i did right’ ie depending on the things that made him popular, and i could see dan looking at that and wondering if he’s relied on that in the past, maybe this past year has been his attempt to move forward, or maybe his year of less activity (in the form of dinof vids) has been him relying on the things that got him where he is in order to keep his fanbase - so then, does that let him expand more, do more of the things he wants instead of, oh, idk, giving the people what they want? or does he feel obligated to do more of what the people want, since that’s what got him where he is?

i always wanna die (sometimes) (x) - it’s a meme but generally like. existence is exhausting? and that’s the whole idea? like god sometimes just doing stuff day to day is so so tiring, and i think that’s something that resonates with dan? and there’s a lot of other meaning about like death n stuff, and like. some days suck but you have to keep going? bc your life doesn’t just affect you it affects everyone and maybe that’s motivation for you maybe it isn’t but you have to realize that giving up is also something that affects everyone. maybe that’s something dan would see in relation to his depression and phil, and how resigning himself can really harm those around him as well

kay now the fun one

mine (x) - this whole fucking thing is a testament to dnp i can’t even fucking type correctly rn bc i’m so passionate abt this okay. literally the opening and closing lines are ‘there comes a time in a young man's life / he should settle down and find himself a wife / but i'm just fine cause i know that you are mine’ like if you try to tell me for a single fucking second that’s not dnp i will come to your house and make you listen to it on repeat until u understand okay. but like. that’s their whole thing right? they’re each other’s and that’s what matters? god i’m gonna literally do this (almost) line by line: ‘i fight crime online sometimes’ = dan’s desire to be this positive force on the internet. ‘and write rhymes i hide behind’ = oh dan’s diss track hmmm (but more generally, he makes jokes that he hides his fear and other things behind). ‘i’m fine if you are fine’ = oh u cannot tell me that’s not how dan feels? about phil? that he finds happiness in knowing phil’s happy? and then of fucking course ‘looking back on 2009 / when people said that it was raining all the time / i see sunshine cause i know you are mine’ oof that hits hard right in the feels okay dan definitely heard this and smiled his fucking face off cause u know in spite of whatever bullshit he had going on in 2009 he definitely still saw it as a bright spot in his life bc he met phil that’s just the truth. what i’m really interested in is the third verse ‘for some reason i just can’t say ‘i do’’ like. would dan possibly feel that way? i have no idea. but at the very least, it’s definitely something that dan would feel in some way, bc they’re not open abt their relationship and a marriage would obviously make it Very open. ugh sorry this one just hits hard and like. just knowing dnp have each other in whatever sense that actually means it’s like. physically painful in a good way. bless them

[mxladymorgan]

Romantic Shipping Info

TAGGED BY: @infcrtunii TAGGING: @pilawforhire @missvvave @sunfirekid @red-pirate-jenny

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?:   The romantic ships I play or discuss with my friends are my OTPs! That’s with Law - @pilawforhire - Sabo - @rxvolutionarysabo and Sanji - @blackleg5932. I have no Morgan x canon character OTP right off the bat, without it being roleplayed because to me that does depend on the interpretation.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:   I am willing to roleplay most things, I should think... This means to write the relationship from before its inception and develop it further in time; perhaps even trying different routes of varying “difficulty” or “level of happiness”... Writing twists, AUs, takes on this ship across different verses - what remains the same? what is different? what’s the adaptation about? In terms of violent reactions or smut, I am willing to rp under major discussion so neither my partners nor I feel affected or that the writing is bringing us down. Will do crackish things if I trust my partner enough for it, which I pretty much do already from the moment shipping is green lit. I am a bit of a sucker for that “domestic/family life” things too.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: I do not know. Maybe it’s not a matter of age but of abuse? I guess it would be fine shipping with a character that’s in their 40′s - not to mention challenging for the characters themselves, which is interesting to write - but older would be weird. Needless to say, anyone shipping with me should have a character that’s at least 18 years old and be of at least the same age themselves so this gap goes only upwards and is off discussion downwards.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:   Hell yes. I am sorry but I don’t like the idea of just letting it roll with everyone myself and that would definitely go against Morgan too. It’s a bit of an unconscious thing, this selection but so I don’t write the same thing twice, you can read more on this below!

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW?: I honestly do not know. Out of courtesy, I will tag posts as “nsfw” or “nsfwish” if their content is around smut but this does not mean I necessarily find them heavy. Indeed I only write the “steamy moments” as the question puts it with those I ship with, as Morgan would not get sexually involved with someone unless without having romantic feelings for them and my partners and I have never written anything graphical in that department, more like innuendos and insinuations so I’d say my posts are hardly considered nsfw to begin with!

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH? Already mentioned in the first question!

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:   Please do. Well, I mean... I mean, if your character fancies Morgan, you’re more than free to let them show it in whatever way you find fitting - thoughts, words, gestures or even actions. Just don’t expect me to take it as bait and bite it to boot. It’s not automatic. Whether Morgan fancies them back and I write it or not, please send me a message so we can be clear about this! This being said, a relationship does not have to be born from mutual liking - it’s possible that half of the couple is not interested in the other but has their feelings changing over time. This can be discussed too. 

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: Not really. I am fewship. I do not have “vacancies” or anything but I would not feel comfortable shipping with more than a handful of people at a time. It’s important to say I don’t insist on that “one ship per verse” rule but no matter what, Morgan would never cheat on anyone!

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: This depends. As part of the fandom I am ship-couldn’t-care-less to be honest. As a writer, I find ships important. After all, relationships or whatever and of all kinds are very important in a person’s life, so of course that translates to the character as well. Familial relationships can be hard to come by unless they’re canonical, so there’s a big emphasis on romantic shipping. While I am not obsessed with them, I recognise their importance even in what concerns the character’s development as a legitimate being and the challenges it poses to a writer, too, who now has a fictional relationship they have to treat as though it were real. I do not deny romantic shipping is more important in Morgan than in any other character I write because of romantic love being so important to her and a big force in her life.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?: My first answer would be “none” because I don’t care much for shipping or fandom talk as a whole but in a nod to my amazing friend Liz, I must answer Zosan.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: Here it is, the kajillion beli question! There is no answer to this because there is no formula. I ship when there’s a spark, a gut feeling, an idea that it makes sense. This can be something that’s exchanged between the characters, something written between the lines as my partner narrates their bit or something shared OOCly. And this does not mean the characters have to like each other from the start, they just need to have a dynamic my partner and I find interesting enough to go down the romantic lane. You see there are many options here and a feeling so pure it’s impossible to define. When you know, you just know - you know? I guess if you feel there’s potential in shipping our characters, you should address me without fear - the worst case scenario will be me saying “we’ll see” if I do not reciprocate the feeling - as chances are I will feel that too. Some things are so powerful they go beyond black words against white digital backdrops you know? We should get in touch and hopefully become friends and between IC answers and OOC messages, we will see this relationship (our baby!) flourish! Be warned: without wanting to push it, I will most likely fangirl about ideas and scenarios in the modern verse and/or with a domestic twist. I might spam a bit with random feelings as I will think about our baby throughout the day.

[jonboudposts]

The Tyranny of Opinion Part 1: I Demand You Debate Me

There are some people you cannot debate with because quite simply, they do not debate.  They just talk.

Such people have a list of issues they want to talk about and have already formed un-movable opinions on. Like being on a bad date, they will try to steer any conversation toward a subject they know about – or think they do – then try to outdo their ‘opponent’ on the subject.  However, when they can’t, the switch comes in quick to either the next subject or sometimes full-on conspiracy theory.

They also like being offensive, at least to a certain type of person.  They imagine pissing off ‘the Libs’ makes them edgy and rebellious (still don’t get the girl though).  It is of top consideration to be offensive to minorities and those least likely to fight back.  Being offensive is the goal; having good reason to be is irrelevant.

One example in my life was someone I used to see through work.  We would discuss various bits about films or games (his interest, not mine) and occasionally serious stuff like emotions.  After this person moved routes, a few months passed before I saw them again.  The next meeting was quite a shock; they had become preoccupied with alt-right talking points and hating the usual tropes (feminism, Islam) and proclaiming the need for violent action to protect ‘our’ (Christian) values.

In our following meetings, this person displayed classic traits – throwing a ‘point’ at me, shouting with faux-anger, interrupting mid-answer, uncomfortably putting up with my response that completely defeated their argument; then ignoring it and jumping to the next claim. Most of these claims were ludicrous; for instance it was claimed that in the Labour Party manifesto of 2015, there was a proposal that gay males would be forcibly paired up with single fertile women in order to produce the future labour force.  Now, in all seriousness; please tell me how to ‘debate’ with that.

My initial response was to speak to some mutual friends of ours and ask if they could explain this behaviour, before suggesting we should perhaps stage an intervention or call Prevent. I have still not decided.

However, some people make a career out of this kind of bullshit and not just Alex Jones.  A well-know name at the moment is Jordan Petersen, a Hackademic who likes to clothe his woman-hate and disgust with a world not interested in praising the mediocre white man constantly with a sheen of pseudo-intellectualism and big concept waffle.  Plus, as many articles written by far more intelligent and academic people tan me will tell you, his theories are bunk; mostly based on intentional misinterpretation of Marx or Derrida, coupled with the resentment only a rich white man can cultivate toward anyone with alternative ideas that are directly threatening to privilege.

He has decided cultural Marxism is why we are all so miserable and those obnoxious and tiresome young men like my example above are just misunderstood and alienated because of post-modernism and feminism.  Sadly, organisations like the BBC and Channel 4 think him worthy of attention too.  As he does not really have an argument but he does have loads of confidence and is able to speak for long periods, this makes him, in the modern interpretation, a good debater.  For the desperate need within the media for something not overtly murderous or obviously racist from the right, he gets taken seriously.  Some may complain I am only making a personal attack – I am, because there is nothing else there.

There is a big difference between free speech and people who just shout for attention.  At the risk of cutting people out of public life, there is no morale imperative to provide a platform to hate mongers and cranks and we know perfectly well this weakens society rather than strengthens it.

Petersen appeals to my friend because he is one of those figureheads who produces easy answers to complex problems, gives them back their hero narrative and tells them there is not need to change, while also backing up the nation that those who fail at the system should be condemned – so their adulation of him amounts to pure self-hatred really.  What they most strongly have in common is their convenient outrage and complete disinterest in answers or alternative opinions.  They just want someone to notice them.

Also, there is no work done here.  There is simply the expressing of opinion without footnotes.  No research, just feeling.  Those hating immigrants or women or trans people rarely quote from analysis and when such analysis is put to them, with all the facts that contradict their negative opinion of immigrants’ or women or trans people, they often just resort to denying the validity of the research with no evidence to back this up (seeing any themes here?).  Evidence is who Dave had in his cab last week or the ‘fact’ that one midwife at the hospital during the birth of their child was rude – and bloody foreign.

This kind of behaviour is simply not worthy of attention or contemplation (it is also dangerous). The lack of willingness to do any work but imagine you can just elbow into the same sphere is deplorable.  Derrida developed deconstruction; Petersen wrote an opinion book called 12 Rules for Life.  I read about both on the internet.

If anyone thinks I am suggesting ‘excluding some people’ from public life, let me ask you this; have you ever really spend time listening (online, TV or in life) to anyone jabbering conspiracy theories or just re-writing history, all for the sake of free speech?  If you have heard such people, how long did you listen?

If you were sitting at dinner and someone started ranting about 9/11 being an inside job, the moon landing not really happening, or no one dying in the Grenfell Tower, would you really just sit there?  Or would you prefer to see this person given a platform at a university?  Should we all engage for the sake of ‘preserving free speech’?

Well, you can if you want to but I have better things to do.  Plus, I do not think this shows any dedication to ideals of freedom; it shows a society falling apart, with no idea which direction to go.  With a lazy media looking for content and damaged people looking for someone to blame, this just creates a toxic public life filled with broken men and self-hating women screaming at the youth and calling it engagement.  In the absence of any new culture or forward momentum, this is the kind of thing that occurs – a faux sense of pride in your emptiness; a conviction life was better before Group A showed up (even though you were not born before Group A showed up); or more simply, old wives tales gone mad.  It really comes down to resentment toward anyone with the guts and tenacity to not put up with the shit deal given to them and to strive to make things better for everyone; rather than stand back while late-period capitalism implodes and hope they do not get any rain down on their house.

Now more than ever in my lifetime, there is an opportunity to change the present; a time characterised by insecurity and fear.  More working class people are beginning to realise they can stand up for themselves through trade unions or co-ops of various types and in the process, learn real working class history while doing the best thing you can with history – using it to construct a better future for yourself and those around you.  Let’s ditch the snake oil salesman and conspiracy theories and put our shoulder into this; then you will have some real power.

(In future articles I will write about hate speech, attention seeking-verses-argument and why taking the piss out of people is legitimate).