#i just did it knowing i was gonna fool around tbh

[oni-1-oni-none]

i did a picrew but it was kinda cursed bc 1, that does NOT look like me at all and 2… jack box.. 😭

link if anyone wants to do it

[noctiva]

I’m back!! I’m super curious do you have a list of general Toby Headcanons posted anywhere or am I just entirely blind? Lmao I’m super curious what your HCs for the man are like.

- 🐼

you’re not blind!! I’ve been meaning to post a general hc list for AGESSSSS you just gave me to push to do it hehe here it is!

-

Toby Rogers - General Headcanons

CW for: mentions of violence, cannibalism, self-destructive tendencies

-

Visual/Appearance

Toby is a tall, lanky mf. Standing at about 6’1 but appears shorter because he’s got horrible posture.

The CEO of having a sleeper build tbh. He looks skinny, especially under all the layers of sweaters and jackets he likes to wear, but don’t let that fool you. He’s scary strong, with a mean right hook.

Mousy brown hair that’s long enough to cover his ears. Shaggy, choppy, and uneven because he cuts it himself.

Has a ton of freckles that show best when he’s gotten some sun

Crooked, chipped teeth from one too many blows to the face, with uncannily sharp canines.

Dark, dark brown eyes with even darker circles under them.

Wardrobe

The midwest emo type

Flannels, ripped baggy jeans, jackets with patches that he sewed on himself

Either wearing a beat up pair of sneakers or more sturdy hunting boots when he’s out on a mission

Wears a ton of layers (as mentioned before) because he always feels cold even if it’s warm outside

I’m talking like; a t-shirt, under a hoodie, with a flannel over top, topped with a big comfy jacket

Personality

Sarcastic motherfucker. Even in times that definitely don’t warrant it al all.

Pretty scarred mentally from being bullied ruthlessly as a kid, so he’s actually really closed off. Pretty reluctant to get close to or open up to people because he’s convinced he’ll just end up being the butt of the joke again.

HATES being around aggressive, violent men. Reminds him too much of his father, and he’ll genuinely just freeze up completely as a trauma response.

Same goes for people who drink. He can’t stand that shit either. (He will smoke weed though, but alcohol is a complete no go).

Absolute jokester once you actually do get him to open up. Pretty carefree and funny, despite it all.

Chronically bottles up his emotions. Would much rather just slap on a smile and push everything down than actually confront them. (Leads to pretty nasty breakdowns more often than not.)

Shit disturber. Will stir drama and start fights just because he’s bored.

Swears like a sailor.

General

Chronic nail biter and skin picker. It’s partially an oral fixation type thing so if it’s not his fingers in his mouth it’s a toothpick, or gum, or the drawstrings of his sweater orrrr…

…A cigarette. Because this man smokes like a chimney. Tim isn’t fully to blame for why he got into it, but he is the one Toby stole smokes from when he first got the urge to try it.

Now it’s a constant thing. Half a pack a day on a good day. He’s always got one tucked behind his ear, and he constantly reeks of the smell of it.

Has a ton of scarring from piercings he did on himself and then decided he hated a few months later. (The only ones he kept being a septum and a pair of snakebites, but he sucks at taking care of them so they’re infected like ALL the time)

He’s flip floppy like this in a lot of aspects of his life. Constantly hyperfixating on things just to decide he hates them a few weeks later.

Also does stick n’ poke tattoos on himself like all the time. Dumb little chicken scratch doodles on his arms and thighs.

Loves sour candy like CRAZY.

A huge nerd deep down. Used to collect comic books and figurines when he was a kid, but lost them all when his house burnt down. (If he breaks into someone’s house and finds some nowadays he’s stealing them. IMMEDIATELY. Especially if it’s anything X-Men.)

Speaking of stealing, he’s a klepto. If he wants it, he’s just gonna take it. And lord knows the proxies don’t get paid a living wage so it’s not like he’d be able to afford it anyway.

Big forager. Likes to look for animal bones and pretty rocks while out in the woods. Cleans them and decorates the shelves of his cabin with them. Also likes to carve things as well. Making knives out of sticks and bones. Little figures that he whittles to keep his hands busy.

Is fluent in German, and slips back into it when he’s really pissed or annoyed (or when… yk..). His mother spoke it a lot at home when he was growing up.

Has cannibalistic tendencies and pretty nasty intrusive thoughts. Almost always bites a chunk out of his victims before disposing of their body. Has a hard time not getting a taste of the living people he knows.

Chews on his own skin because of this, gnawing at his palms to satiate the craving for blood.

Pyromaniac (duh) always has a lighter or matches on him. Sets fires just for fun, and could sit and stare into the flames for hours on end.

He hates his tics :( It’s deep seated trauma from the kids at school and shit his dad used to say to him. To the point where he’s grown a habit of hitting himself whenever he does tic, like if he punishes himself for doing it, maybe one day his body will stop (it hasn’t)

Verbal and physical tics. Often mimicry of words and sounds he hears often (common ones include whistles that mimic bird calls)

Low-key a sadist. Because he can’t feel pain himself, watching people react to being in pain is morbidly fascinating to him. Really takes his time with his victims because of it.

Virgin teenage boy levels of hormones LMAOOO. The type to have a bikini model poster plastered on his bedroom wall.

Sucks at talking to girls irl though. Puts on a way too confident facade and makes a total fool of himself more often than not.

—————————————————————————☆

yaaaay! I’ve been meaning to post this for ages

let me know if you guys want relationship hcs too (sfw + nsfw)!

[dreamofjoys]

Malleus in a rut

— c/w: smut, afab, malleus in his season eheh, scratching, groping, cockwarming, shower sex, breeding, cunningligus, overstimulation, serpent tongue,

— a/n: i did a similar one but it was for an april fool's prank LOL anyways here's a legitimate one :D i got carried away tbh

Malleus knows it's gonna be his season soon when he starts showing tantrums and being clingy towards you

You know it too, especially during the mornings when he would cling onto your body like a koala, looking at you with puppy dog eyes, begging you to stay in bed with him while snarling at anyone who dares to interrupt his time with you

Times like this, everyone (just malleus honestly) decided that it would be best to just whisk you away to one of his private towers so that no one would disturb the both of you

His season is probably one of the best thing that has happened to him, since he gets to spend infinite amount of time with you without having to bother about his pending workload

Every morning with him is just lazy time, you being too tired and sore from previous night’s activities ahem ahem

You would wake up to Malleus staring at you, propping his elbow up to rest his chin on his palm, his bare chest with scratch marks on displayed

Your face would turn red when you realised how hard you scratched him. Malleus doesn’t really care about it, in fact he loves it when your nails dig into his skin, leaving crescent red marks. Those are physically proof that you are laying your claim on him(or at least in his dragon theory), and he wants you to mark him over and over again

You would forcefully drag yourself out of bed, deciding to take an hour long of morning shower after falling asleep with layers of sweats and.... fluids

But it's all a game over when you start to stand up. A trail of white cum starts leaking down between your legs, reminding you of how much Malleus had dumped his cum in you the previous night

Dragon boy saw it and was not happy at all

He carries you to the shower, turning on the shower head so that the both of you would start cleaning up

However, he's a sneaky boy. He would slot his rock hard cock back into your cunt, determined not to let any of his seeds drip out again

It's romantic at first. The both of you facing each other, rubbing onto each other's body with body wash. You would apply some shampoo to Malleus's wet hair, scratching onto his scalp with foamed bubbles, making him purr in delight

(( THE IMAGE IN MY MIND RN IS THE WATER FROM THE SHOWER HEAD DRIPPING ONTO MALLEUS, MAKING HIS HAIR WET AND THEN IT DRIPS DOWN TO HIS CHEST, MAKING IT LOOK EXTRA SHINY. AND THEN YOUR HANDS ARE SCRATCHING ONTO HIS SCALP AND THERE'S SOME BUBBLES IN IT. HE IS PURRING IN DELIGHT. BARK BARK GRRRR WOOOF))

But then Malleus decided to play around, bucking his hips up in such precise accuracy, making sure that his tip brush onto your sweet spot

Perhaps your little moan in response has triggered his raging hormones again, he had you pressed in a missionary position against the shower wall, beginning to ruthlessly assault your cunt at 8am in the morning

One hand presses on your waist to hold you against the wall while the other roams around your body, spreading - while groping and kneading - the body wash all over your soft flesh

There's really just something turning him on when he sees you drenched from head to toe, folded in half perfectly for him. His cock disappearing in and out from your pussy. God, you are definitely made for him. How he want to just fill you up with his cum, and maybe dirty you a little by cumming all over your body

That 1 hour shower turned into 3 hours of sex

And that wasn't even the end. Lunch was meant to be a break time where people rest and eat to recharge their energy, right???

RIGHT??

In Malleus's eyes, it's just the time for him to eat you out like a starved man. Bending you over the kitchen, spreading your ass cheeks to expose your pretty pussy to him while he dives head right in, fully burying his face in as his tongue laps and swallows everything that you give

It was good at first. His wet muscle may pale in comparison when it comes to his thick cock, but man was excellent at pleasuring you, his mate. His long serpent tongue doing circular motions to feel every single part of your wall spasming around like crazy just on his tongue alone

Would insert two fingers inside just to scissor you, bringing you closer to your orgasm as you let out a high pitched moan, walls clamping down on him before releasing the tight knot

He's a god at making you cum just on his tongue. But when it gets too much, you tried closing your thighs, which resulted to trapping his head in between your legs. Your small hands gripping on his horns, trying to push him away as you tell him that you can't cum anymore. You are hungry, you want to eat. But man only stays stationery in his position, the filthy sound of your slopping wet pussy being devoured continues to echo through the kitchen

If you haven't said your safe word yet, surely, you don't mind, right?

Dinner is... well, dinner. Dragon boy will have you sit on his lap while feeding you like how a mother would feed their child. It's absolutely pleased when you open your mouth to eat the food that he personally spoon feeds you to. A protective arm wraps around your waist, his thumb rubbing circles as you excitedly tell him about one of your outings back in your world

Will think you are a chipmunk when your mouth is stuff with food while looking at him with eager eyes

Sex after dinner? It depends. He knows you are tired and won't push too much (He holds himself back but if you want to, you guys can keep on going)

Basically he becomes sex crazy during this period but man is still a puppy for you regardless of what happens

[2knightt]

CANT HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER!!! i’m utterly obsessed with the curtis brothers.

idk if u do this, but if u can, the curtis brothers with a reader who’s super down bad for them? they make it so clear, too. constantly doing everything for them, making food, buying snacks, just utterly everything. compliments, holding their hand religiously … yk.

୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ you know i’m a fool for you. ⋄ 𓍯

…IN WHICH! you think the curtis brothers are the only men on the planet.

tags/warnings: swearing(on my end/once during dialogue.) reader being slightly overprotective or insane, mentions of reader getting hit on, mentions of reader leaving lip stick stains, me not knowing what to write for darry.

ೃauthor notes⁀➷ i’m using ny other accounts layout bc i can’t be bothered rn. also i’m here to feed y’all i’ve noticed the outsiders x reader tag is lowkey dry asl.

Ponyboy Curtis:

WOAH HE CAN’T HANDLE ALLAT😭

like actually. he is TWEAKING AT ALL TIMES! when you first like started complimenting him, showering him in kisses, giggling n’ shit—he thought it was a one time thing.

ponyboy just thought he’d have to thug that shit out once a week or something. he was, in-fact, pleasantly surprised when you continued to do it.

“you’re so-mwah-cute! i wish-mwah-i could-mwah-hold you forever!”

“y/n…😣”

he’s so flustered omfg like actually he’s beet red LMFAOOO. if you were to put your fingers to his forehead it’d be so hot. like ponyboy’s avoiding eye contact, his lips are tightened, etc.

if he were to stay the night at your place—you make him all types of food. like, food he’d never heard of. or food he’d dream about after eating bologna for a week,

“for me? …really?”

“mhm! c’mon, don’t let it get cold now.”

ponyboy is DIGGING RIGHT THE FUCK IN. okay he is SCARFING THAT DOWN. after he’d be a little embarrassed of how quickly he ate but like you just took it as a good thing.

thinks you’re the best cook ever tbh. gordan ramsey has nothing on you type levels.

going on a walk with him to go grocery shopping for the curtis house with your hands intertwined and letting ponyboy ramble about this annoying substitute he had!!! IT’S REAL!!! ALL OF IT!!!

“n’ then he tried to tell me my answer was wrong when i studied last night—I EVEN ASKED MY FRIENDS. so, i know it was right. i just think mr. johnson had a personal vendetta against me.”

“smh…i could do slash his tires if you’d like♡!”

“what”

“nothing.”

AWHHH PONYBOY FOLLOWING YOU AROUND THE STORE LIKE A LOST PUPPY BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO BUY LMFAO

he’d like holding your sleeve or the hem of your shirt as you walk around, looking more awkward above all else.

uwahh showering ponyboy in compliments late at night when it’s just the two of you, twirling his hair as you hold him closer!!!

“you’re hair is so pretty. it’s so soft…i dunno why you put grease in it. if i was you—i’d never let anyone touch it.”

“i don’t. i only let you.”

“…REALLY??🥰🥰😚😚”

ur friends are soooo sick of you talking about ponyboy LMFAOOOO like actually. every time you go, ‘omfg did i tell you guys, he-‘ they know to just let you mindlessly ramble.

“and then ponyboy read to me ‘til i fell asleep! he’s so sweet—i dunno how he’s real!”

“i dunno how you’re so whipped.”

“he must be the funniest motherfucker on the planet if y/n’s this obsessed.”

Sodapop Curtis

OHHH Y’ALL ARE AT A CONSTANT WAR TO SEE WHO’S GONNA BEAT THE OTHER AT BEING THE BETTER PARTNER LMFAOOO

HE’S usually the whipped one in the relationship…he felt both extremely lucky and threatened when you started attacking him with kisses…

“you’re so handsome. i’m just the luckiest person on earth—ain’t i?”

“…yeah…🤨”

“why’d you say it like that?😞”

“cause I’M the luckiest person on the earth…I’M supposed to be tellin’ you this…”

but as time goes on—he does take the loss and accepts you’re better at him. for now. it’s only a matter of seconds until sodapop thinks of something insane to show his love for you.

anyways! IMAGINE COOKING WITH HIM OHHHH NY GODDDDD /?:&$:&: he just mainly stands there and looks pretty as he asks what you’re doing but SHHH. HE’S MORAL SUPPORT.

“…what?”

“i’m chopping onions for the flavour, honey.”

“you don’t like onions, though?”

“i don’t like the crunch rather than the flavou—YOU REMEMBERED I DON’T LIKE ONIONS??��️☹️”

“of course i would!”

gladly holds ur hand 24/7. i’m not kidding. you two are like super magnets. HEHEHE IMAGINE HIM DRIVING WITH ONE HAND ON THE WHEEL AND HIS OTHER HAND HOLDING YOURS!!/!2!

you do take him grocery shopping. only sometimes, though. he only buys junk food rather than actual food.

“can i get these? please?”

“you already have two bags of chips in the cart, soda.”

“okay..😣”

“SIGH…get them.”

“HURRAY!”

knows you can’t say no to him and that’s like the only time he uses it to his advantage.

soc’s do hit on you under the premise of ‘showing you how a real man is supposed to spoil a lady like you.’ HOWEVER, you look at them like they’re aliens.

“hey, baby. what’re you doin’ around here?”

“…EW.”

“???”

they’re shocked above all else as they see you turn away from them and quickly walk away without looking back. AND WOOO SODA IS SO PROUD.

Darry Curtis

the gang acts like you two are constantly fighting whenever you start to look at darry with that sparkle in your eyes.

“guys, PLEASE! YOU’RE BREAKING UP THE FAMILY! STOP ARGUING!”

“what the hell are you on about, soda?”

“you’re scaring pony!” “don’t bring me into this.”

“mind you’re own business, soda.”

AJDIEHJR DARRY HAVING A HAND AROUND YOUR WAIST AS YOU MUTTER SWEET NOTHINGS BETWEEN KISSINGS>>>

you two are a POWER COUPLE IN THE GROCERY STORE! EVEN IF YOU REFUSE TO LET HIM PAY AND HE GETS POUTTY! EVEN IF HE DOESN’T TAKE COMPLIMENTS WELL!

“y/n, please. these are for my house.”

“so?? my wallet was out first.”

“that doesn’t mean anything. baby, i’m telling you, i’m paying.”

“too late, i already handed the cashier the money.”

you cook and clean for the curtis’ to take something off of darry’s back out of the kindness in your heart and totally not because you want him to pay more attention to you!! NEVER!!

but you do enjoy the fact that darry has more time to sit down and pay attention to you! and darry really likes the extra time he has!!

“you didn’t have to.”

“yes i did! you’ve been so stressed out, it’s the least i could do for you.”

“you’re such a treat, y’know.”

“mh. only f’you.”

you FORCE him to hold your hand. sometimes he forgets that he’s supposed to hold your hand in public so do NOT BE AFRAID TO GRAB IT YOURSELF.

but once you do, darry is the last person to let go. maybe to wrap an arm around your hip—BUT THAT’S IT.

teehee leaving lipstick stains on his white t-shirt accidentally🫶🫶!! it’s all so real to me!! sure, darry’s a little annoyed but it’s okay! he can never be mad at you!

[yan-lorkai]

Any headcanons for Sebastian dirty talking 👀 like the kind of things he'd say

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Casually throw this to y'all like it wasn't hidden on my drafts for some time now. No but like I can't dirty talk to save my life (+ I'm ace ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭) so I don't know if this is good? But if I don't post this now, I may never post tbh. I hope it's good lol, enjoy!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, possessive Sebby, very suggestive content, dirty talking obvs, amab and afab reader

Sebastian is a versatile lover, dedicated to you and your pleasure. And he knows how to draw out each syllable, what tone of voice to use and how to speak to make you melt in his arms. What does he normally say?

"Love, you're doing so well for me, mmh!"

"Let's see if you're capable of keeping this atitude after I'm done with you."

"You naughty little thing, you think I wouldn't notice how you were trying to tease me? You're not walking tomorrow, mark my words."

"You're so hard already, how cute! Let's see what kind of sounds you make when I swallow you whole, hmm?"

"You like when I'm rough with you, huh? Tell me, tell me how much you love my cock."

"Good girl, so good for me. Mmh, are you close? Gonna cum for me?"

"Please? Please what, darling? Enlighten me, what do you want? Do you want me to touch you here? Wanna me to be faster? slower? I can't read your mind now, can I? Don't get shy on me now, angel. Use your words!"

"Your moans always get me hard, so heavenly it's almost sinful, darling."

"You look so handsome like this - ooh, fuck, you like when I praise you? I can feel you clenching around me, my good boy. So precious for me, so good, aah!"

"You look so so gorgeous right now - ohh, riding me like that."

"Think you can top me, think you can make me scream and cry like I do you? That I like to see, angel."

"Like that, scream my name like that — ahh I'm close!"

"Cum on my tongue for me. You tastes so fucking sweet."

"Who owns this pussy? Who? That’s right. I do. I own your fucking pussy, your ass and your mouth. I own everything you are, darling. Never forget this."

"You did so well for me, love. But do not be fooled, I'm not done with you just yet!"

[corazondebeskar-reads]

could be

Jackson!Joel Miller x f!reader

this ficlet is brought to you by @iamasaddie's writing challenge! my assigned color was "pretty clicker" (which tbh idk if we needed to include the color but I did anyway lol).

genre: pwp (I tried my best) prompt: "whoa, that's a new one."

words: 1.7k

summary: jackson is not your home. joel miller is not your boyfriend. but they could be.

warnings: pwp, oral (m&f receiving), handjob, fingering, joel and reader are astoundingly bad at emotions, a few playful spanks, tommy makes an off-screen cameo, old man joel my beloved, antics, absolutely no proofreading or beta reading whatsoever rip sorry

dividers by @saradika-graphics

“Whoa, that’s a new one,” drawls the man as he steps out of the shadow of the copse. “ If it ain’t the prettiest little clicker I’ve ever seen.” 

You scowl, tugging the hat off, boot scuffing the dirt as you grind the frustration of being caught out into the soil. It gives with some difficulty, the late autumn’s early frost already turning the ground to stone. “Shut up, Joel,” you mutter. 

“That always work for ya? How haven’t you gotten shot yet?” He says, jerking his head down at the ball cap you’ve adorned with the decapitated clicker’s face.

(Or should you say disembodied? Dessicated? Desecrated? Whatever, you cut the fucking mushrooms off a dead fucker and stuck them on a hat. The terms don’t matter.) 

“Yep. Not too many fools out here who will go looking for a clicker when they hear one.”

“It’s a good impression, darlin’, but it’s not quite enough to trick me.” He’s drawn close, maybe too close, and curls two fingers under your chin, drawing your gaze to his grizzled face. 

You roll your eyes. “You a clicker whisperer or something?” 

His lips curl. “Not quite, no.” He lets his hand fall from your chin, and you watch it go. 

When you look back up at his face, you’re caught. Trapped. His grin is solemn, as if he, too, feels the snare.

“You got somewhere to stay tonight?” he says, instead of acknowledging the way you’ve drawn a breadth closer. 

“Sure do,” you drawl. 

He chuckles. “Alright, keep your secrets. But, uh—my back ain’t what it used to be, so the forest floor ain’t gonna work for me today.”

Your lips curl. “Presumptuous, are we?”

“You’re lookin’ at me like a piece of meat, sweetheart.”

“Well, ain’tcha?”

“Guess you must be desperate, then, ‘f’you’re back for an old man like me.”

“Guess so,” you hum and give in. “How d’you always find me?”

“Hmm, don’t you worry ‘bout that, alright? All you gotta know is that I do always find you, and I’ve got some of Tommy’s peanut butter cookies in my bag for ya.”

“My hero,” you press one hand over your heart while the other makes the universal ‘gimmie’ gesture at his backpack. 

“Could be, y’know,” he mumbles. 

You both ignore the slip. He rifles around in the bag and pulls out a tin. You try to snatch it from him, but he pulls away with a wagging finger. 

“Nope, not yet,” he says with a teasing lilt, his drawl drawing out. He hands you one precious sweet and tucks the rest back into his bag. “If I give it to you now, you’ll just run off, and then what’ll I have?”

“A sense of satisfaction from being kind?”

You share a laugh at your joke as he leads you not to the safe “house” but up to the old, creepy lodge you avoid like the plague. Or. Well. Like the Infected. 

“Calm down, I already cleared it,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “It’s got a real bed, though, sweetheart, so I can take my time with ya.”

“You mean so you don’t break a knee fuckin’ me over a log?”

“It didn’t break. Jesus. How old do you take me for?”

“Old as shit,” you mutter. 

He just grins. 

“What?” 

“Nothin’. You just get brattier the longer you’re away. Ain’t got any good cock back home?”

“Shut up,” you grumble, but it’s close to the truth. There’s cock back home, sure, but then you’d have to fuck one of those losers, and you just know Joel’s ruined you. 

Ruined you with intent and precision, and now he’s taking you by the hand and leading you up into the lodge’s dusty halls and into what must have once been a nice guest room. 

You whistle. “Did you clean this just for me?” You ask, batting your lashes. 

“If I say yes, you gonna be sweet for me?”

“You wouldn’t know what to do with me if I was.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he says, lying down on the bed with his hands behind his head. “So get your ass up here.”

You quickly shimmy out of your sweats and climb up to straddle him, but his grin splits wider in a lecherous stretch. 

“You think I brought you here for you to ride me? Y’can do that shit in the woods. Get up here.”

You hesitate. “I live in a fucking camp, Joel.” The “without running water” bit is obvious but unspoken.

“I do not give a shit,” he says bluntly. “Get up here.”

“Your funeral,” you say with a shrug, and let him help you settle over his face. You’re barely steady when he grabs your hips and pulls, bringing you to meet him. 

It’s been… longer than you can even remember, and oh shit. Either your memory hasn’t done this justice, or the last man to eat you out was fuckin’ terrible because this is nothing like you’ve ever known. 

But he doesn’t dive in and rush it. He doesn’t go straight to sucking on your clit; he doesn’t push three fingers into your cunt to work you open for his cock. 

Oh, no. You’ve been had, you think. This setup was an elaborate trap to wipe your mind clean and replace everything with thoughts of him. He’s brought you here to the second closest place of safety he knows so he can take his fuckin’ time with you. 

His hands are gentle on you, and he nuzzles into your mound to part your folds, his wide nose pushing between to seek out his prize. The tip of his tongue pushes out to help, tracing the tiny slit of your cunt. At the first taste of you, he groans, drawn out and filthy. 

“Shit,” he pants, hot breath scattering across the soft peaks and valleys. “It’s been too goddamn long.”  He seems to be talking to himself, which is good because you can’t wrangle more than a tangled gasping whimper in response. 

He brings his hands up underneath you to grip your inner thighs, pulling to spread you more so he can watch you start to glisten. “Atta girl,” he murmurs, nuzzling back in to lap it up. “Mmm, baby, is all this for me?”

“Shoulda known you wouldn’t shut up,” you mutter, even though you’re addicted to his filthy mouth most of the time.

“Shut me up then,” he says in a way you simply cannot refuse. 

You grind down on his face, expecting protest, but he moans in a way you can only classify as slutty. He buries his face between your thighs with a growl and gets to work. 

You can barely hold yourself up after the first orgasm he coaxes from you, all powerful tongue and gentle lips. 

“Y’ain’t quittin’ on me, are ya?” He taunts. 

“I thought you were gonna shut up.” 

He smacks your ass. “Turn around.”

When you do, he pushes you down to lay on him. “Get nice and cozy with my cock, sweetheart, ‘cause I ain’t done with you yet.”

You take the invitation but before you can pull him free from his jeans, he’s diving back into his personal all you can eat buffet and showing no sign of slowing. 

Eventually, you manage to pry his ridiculous monster cock from its denim confines and try, really try, to focus on it, but it’s so hard (you giggle as you tell him) when he keeps doing that thing with his teeth and your clit. After the third time, you find yourself just moaning and drooling around it; you give up and rest your head on his thigh, content to hold it in your hand and lick. 

He spanks you again. “Don’t be a tease.”

You try to protest, but he bests you by attempting to suck your soul out of your clit while hammering two thick fingers against your g-spot, and it’s all over for your brain. Poor thing never stood a chance against Joel anyway. 

You squirm away from the menace when he attempts to keep going and smack him in the face with a pillow when he whines. He wipes his beard on it and throws it back at you. 

You can’t hold back your questions now that you’re back up and running. “How d’you have the time for this?” 

“Hmm?” Joel grunts, a hand tugging lazily at his dick while he surreptitiously slides his hand down the length of your thigh and back up. 

You turn on your back, swatting his hand away. “You’re usually in a rush.”

He turns a little pink. “Don’t matter.”

“Uh, it clearly does. I’m asking.”

“Well, it’s nunya.”

You groan. “Think I liked it better when you were too busy eating me out to talk.”

“Now you know how I feel.”

You throw the cum-stained pillow back at him but miss by an embarrassing overshot. It arcs over him and into the floor between his side of the bed and the wall. 

You shrug. “Gone forever,” you say and throw an arm over your eyes dramatically. 

It’s a good thing, too, since the pillow hits you in the face. 

“I’m on watch here,” he says once you stop screeching indignantly. 

“Well, you’re not doing a very good job of it,” you let him know solemnly. 

“Ain’t alone. M’brother—Tommy,” he clarifies unnecessarily, “S’here too. He’s got it handled.”

“Oh my god, did you ask your brother to cover for you so you could get laid?”

He shrugs. “Why not?”

“Aw, Miller. You really know how to make a girl feel special,” you drawl. 

He plays it off with another eye roll and scoffs, but the thing is—you know. He stopped asking you to think about moving to Jackson a long time ago. But slowly, he’s been taking you closer and closer to town when you meet up. 

And you’re pretty sure he’s using Tommy’s cookies as a reward. Each time he lures you closer, he brings more treats the next time. You’d be mad at the absolute gall, but… it’s not not working, so you only have yourself to blame.

When you catch his eye again, he makes a point to hold your gaze and draw it down to his leaking cock, and you know he knows. You won’t go with him, so he’ll have you here. Jackson is not your home. But that quiet drawl in your head that sounds unnervingly similar to the man sprawled before you whispers, it could be.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing readers and wonderful fandom :) Writers put themselves right back on course with this one. Returning to a balanced and all around amazing episode. End to End. It's been their thing this season and I'm happy to return to form with this one. The giving season continues to give with this episode.

I'm truly so satisfied with this season it's unreal. Once again can see why Eric said it's his favorite. Why they had the cast in such a social media lockdown about it. It's been worth every bit of waiting and hold out from the cast. We've been # 1 on Hulu every week it seems too. So I hope that trend continues this week with this ep. Makes me giddy to see us on top. Love to get some S8 news next month, but until then let us break down this gem of an ep shall we?

7x11 Speed

We start out with Lucy missing that sweet T.O. money already. Awww. I'll be honest I didn’t think about her losing her pay cause of stupid Seth. But it makes sense since she is now Rookie-less lol Heh I love her spending that extra money on self care. That’s the best. Also very Lucy to do so. It's fantastic. Proud of her for doing that. It's not an easy thing to do tbh.

I love her face as he hands her the file at the beginning of the scene btw LMAO Always say it's the little things I love between these two. *happy sigh* So much said in such a little glance between them. If you don't catch it you'll completely miss this cute exchange. Also it frees his hand up to look sexy af just hanging out on his duty belt. So thank you for your service Lucy ha

I will say her comment about her budget reminds me when she tried to get Aaron on one back in 5x14 LOL Tim telling her to just go to T.O. permanently then. I mean logically that makes sense. She would crush that test and then some. Tim knows it too. So that'll restore that extra money she is currently missing.

I knew she would be hesitant to do this because of losing focus on the Sergeant exam. Honestly I don't blame her. She was derailed a bit by T.O. in the first place. Although it did lead her to this Sergeant decision. Also training another rookie would take a lot of her time. Like to note even though Tim is giving her sass about training a new rookie, his body language shows that he is intently listening to her and I love it.

They're in their usual lock step as they make their way to roll call. Always floors me how they do that. Tim trying to find the words to describe Ridley and Lucy beats him to the punch. I mean he was that and more for her oh my lord. Was a hell of a first rookie for her. So can't say I fault her for being hesitant to dip her toe back in.

Hahahaha 'That is a horrifyingly high ratio.' LMAO It kinda is tbh. Not doing her any favors here love. Or convincing her to go back to being a T.O.... Lucy is firm in her decision to focus on Sergeant instead. That it'll just give her peace of mind instead of doing something else to detract.

Tim has to give her one last sassy comment before they part. 'Guess that means bye bye cleaning lady.' I love these two idiots so much I cannot stand it. Their banter is unrivaled. Ain't no one got what our ship does in just banter alone. Damnit I love these fools.

Look at Tim giving the same Sergeant speech Grey gave him so many moons ago in 4x02. to Lucy. Saying how she needs to learn to supervise from the sidelines. To delegate if she's wanting to be one. Look how far you’ve come my love. It's the little steps of growth that make my heart happy. Also loving the amount of scenes they’re having this early on in the ep. I knew was gonna be a good one.

Like a gift after last week's low amount and unbalanced ep. I LOVE him letting her practice being a Sergeant. To call the shots today. Like an advanced version of PCD for her. Lucy getting excited and pushing her luck like only she can do with him. Asking if that means she gets to drive? Tim sensing this and shutting it down. Naturally he wouldn’t let her drive haha Her face. So rare when he allows it. hehe These two dopes just low key flirting most of this episode.

Angela calling Tim 'Timothy' on the radio LOL Telling him not to be such an ass. I love this episode. Only two women he would allow to be that forward with him are in this convo. Lucy being wifey af rips the radio from his hands and he allows it. Cause well it's Lucy.

Of course she has a good idea. I mean selling stuff suckkkksss. Especially when it has value, but if it saves a job you love it’s worth it. Also loving all the hand touching with the back and forth of the radio. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you two...Bickering like an old married couple as they advise poor Miles.

Hahahaha look at the growth in our boy. Calling himself an ass when Lucy calls him out for his comment. Fantastic. Although I always enjoy his pot shots at Nolan LOL (Sorry John you have been much better this season) This new Tim delights me to no end every week in so many ways I cannot even tell you.

I'm a happy girl. As is Lucy. She has a smile for days for Tim this entire episode. Look at her when he says his line. Couldn't love that man more if you tried my friend. Seeing that change in him and loving it.

Oh my, Tim calling her Sergeant Chen. *fans self* That did things to me holy cow. Loved hearing him call her that. Also the confidence she is exuding when he does. Letting her lead this entire operation. Not questioning a single thing she does either. How far we have come fandom. How far we have come. Always love watching her be a friggin kick ass leader when given the chance.

Oh Lucy you are so much more of a BAMF than you ever give yourself credit for. I love how Tim doesn’t allow the pot shots at herself. Refuses to let her sit in that for even a moment. Reminds her of how she saved him back in 6x10. That SHE IS a bad ass. Making her smile with his sass. 'You're right....Totally lame.' God I love s7 Tim fandom. I can totally cross off 'Seeing a new side of Tim Bradford.' off my bingo card confidently.

Look at her smile. He did that. By building her up. Not letting a single second go by without him reminding her how amazing she is. Also Lucy you would've jumped even if there had been ten bombs. Why? Because it was Tim you were jumping to my girl. Just adore her smile after he makes his playful joke. She is melting everyone. Slowly but surely. Especially with moments like this. Keeping showing up for her babe. She is noticing and liking what she sees.

One of the best parts of the episode right here. Let us begin to dissect this glorious shop scene. Let me start with the 5x08 vibes I was getting from this scene. Some of their best moments are in a shop together. Most truthful and honest moments. Love when they have pod car eps. We always get such good scenes from it. Iconic ones.

Their body language alone is enough to make my shipper heart happy. The way they check in on each other when the other isn't looking. Gah I love these idiots in love. The heart eyes are plentiful in this scene. First off let me say I'm so glad she crushed being a Sergeant. Not at all like her detective run. No complaints from Tim. Came naturally to her. 'Ordering around people is one of your gifts.' The man isn't wrong....

'I've never heard you complain.' LOL Lucy Friggin Chen. Oh my lord The subtext in that line had my head spinning. ZERO doubt in my mind Tim ever had issues with her bossing him around. At work, In their relationship, In the bedroom... Where I am sure this flirty line stemmed from. That's just my opinion though....The flirtatious nature of that line and his devilishly happy smile right afterwards proving that IMO. ‘I don’t mind.’ Heh he sure doesn’t….This man is all giddy smiles most of this scene. Making me lightheaded with shippy joy. He is glowing in this first portion. The man couldn't be more in love with her if he tried. Or be happier to be in this light flirty place with her.

Lucy is getting flustered af with Tim's forward flirting. His smiles and not holding back at all. Letting her know he is A-OK with her flirting with him. Transparent Tim is sending her into a tailspin in the best way. It's making me insanely happy. He is just being candid with her and she is feeling it. Has no where to go but face the music in this moment. This woman just navigated a potential bus bombing as a Sergeant no sweat and it's the man to her left that is her undoing.

Once again, he is all smiles as she tries to steer her way out of this flirty situation she's put them in. His cute 'No idea.' I cannot. Also ‘Just co-workers’ my ass Lucy Chen. You will never ever be just that. Tim is enjoying this ramble so very much as she stumbles her way to her point. I think it is HUGE she is letting Tim know she’s not looking to date or has any interest in doing so. And of course he has zero himself. Man is a walking 'I love Lucy Chen' Billboard.

Has been all season and will continue to be as such. Now we all knew this. (If you didn't then this scene will help resolve that pretty quickly) Knew there was no way these two would go looking for anyone else. They are each other's endgame. But just like Tim going to therapy and working on himself. Getting the actual proof of hearing it makes it so satisfying. Just like it was in 7x07. Physically hearing them say it is literal ship crack right now. Hearing the confirmation from the both of them is EVERYTHING. We are headed in the right direction people.

Lucy continues on with her 'boundaries.' They need to have. Which they do need to have until this is truly sorted. Till they have that talk. Tim letting her know he respects them and will continue to meet her where she is at. Which he has done a masterful job of throughout the season. Never pushing her or trying to get her to talk more than she is ready to. Respecting what she wants to give him and thriving off of that. Continually showing up for her. Which has led up to this wonderful moment. Lucy reminding Tim that she still hasn’t fully forgiven him yet. As she should honestly.

That’s a deep wound he needs to remember he caused, and it remains ever-present. One he still needs to fix. That they're getting there but it's not quite healed yet. His soulful ‘I know.’ Is everything. Eric getting me right in the damn feels with it. It's very loaded with emotion and heavy. He is extremely aware he still has ground to make up with her. Penance still to be had. I love that he knows it and is telling her as such. They're being so open and vulnerable I wanna cry with this progress. Lucy’s reply is wonderful. Saying When not IF but WHEN she does. This is massive. We all knew she would get there. Because it's who she is to forgive of course.

But also she is seeing the change in Tim. How consistent it is. That it's not going away. There hasn't been an episode this season he hasn't shown that change to her. She still loves this man so much and he is slowly making his way back in. So much so that she is saying 'When' instead of If. The shift here is monumental. Her following it up with 'Maybe you can come help me study.' The subtext is unreal. It’s quite the olive branch. His smile is so cute and he is delirious with joy. He couldn't be happier with this reply. Keep putting in the work babe. This is the result. Heart eyes abound at the end oh my lord. Look at these two. Eric and Melissa convey SO much with just their heart eyes. I'm flying high.

If that final scene wasn't enough. That PROMO. OH. MY. LORD. Just coming by with flimsy excuses, just to have her way with him whenever she damn well pleases? Ok! Sign me up haha. He sure as hell is not gonna say no. Clearly. They messy and I don't hate it. Especially after that final scene. Also Lucy showing up looking like a bombshell. Holy hell. How could he say no? I mean she could show up wearing a paper bag and he would be panting after her. Let's be honest.

But legit her goal from that 5 seconds we got was to come and seduce him. I don't know what's going on or what is prompting this scene but I'm excited. Feral Caitlin is going to make an appearance if we're getting Half naked Tim in sweatpants at home. and he looks GOOOOD. Phew lord. I love this season everyone. Every week is a friggin joy. My happy place truly delivering in so many ways.

Thank you forever and always to my incredible readers. I would not be here without you. Thank you for every like, comment (seriously love chatting with you all. Come chat) and reblogs of these first impressions. You are the best. Shall see you all in 7x12 when we lose our minds over whatever is happening. Looks like it'll be a solid ep all around as well :)

~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

Poor Miles LOL learning all his lessons the hard way ahaha Tim making his ass run for their coffee and their shop.

Always enjoy Nyla and Angela in the field. Gimme that all day in an ep I'll be happy.

Celina handled herself like a bad ass. AND got a Tim compliment in the process. He don't give those out lightly unless your name is Lucy. and even then took her some time to crack him for it. The continued growth astounds me in him.

Wes being adorable worrying about Angela. Love me some Wopez.

Oh and Monica is back least important info of the ep haha Was hoping we'd see Oscar before her but oh well. She's back I guess. Yay....

[tiredfox64]

Part two of my kill for hire reader?!?!?! Like the brothers all court her? Different endings on who she chooses?!?!?!

Go for the Kill

Prior notes: @eemr1000 @livingdeadgirly @k3ythesapphic COME GET YOUR FOOD BEFORE THE MOLES GET IT. Tbh I struggled a little but i think I did okay.

Pairing: Lin Kuei Bros x Afab reader

Warnings ‼️: Just get inside!

You made quite a reputation for yourself. You have been most useful to Lord Liu Kang. Thanks to the help of the Lin Kuei your skills have grown substantially. And look at that, you made three new friends as well. Well, they want to be more than just friends.

It didn’t take long for the brothers to recognize that they all liked you for their own reasons. Bi-Han liked how deceitful you can be just to get the job done. Kuai Liang applauds your tactics and finds your intelligence to be quite attractive. Tomas saw your huge potential and finding out you are actually sweet drew him in.

Yes, yes, you certainly have a nice set of bachelors just waiting to nab you for themselves. But, uh, who are you gonna pick?

I mean they haven’t even asked you out yet. You’ve been busy with more killing assignments so they haven’t gotten the chance to have you alone. It’s fine, it gives them plenty of time to think and prepare a way to court you. They have their own ways, it just depends who gets to you first.

You get back to the Lin Kuei temple after another successful killing. You’re a bit tired and just want to settle down for the night but you can already hear all three of them making their way towards you. Well, now it’s just one since Bi-Han decided he gets to see you first. It wasn’t a mutual decision he just pushed his brothers out of the way.

“I see you are successful once again. I do not expect anything less from you.” He compliments you as if you haven’t been killing for who knows how long. You noticed he grabbed onto your hand, ready to drag you away from everyone else.

“It is incredible how perfect you still look. You look like you barely broke a sweat.” Now Kuai Liang was coming in. He grabbed your other hand with the same intent Bi-Han has.

“You must be tired after that assignment. Maybe you should relax for a little. I can help you.” Who do you think just snuck up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist? That’s right, Tomas.

You could feel tension in the air building up as you looked at all three brothers. They weren’t looking at you but they were glaring at each other. Something’s off but you can’t tell.

“Come with me, I have something important to discuss with you.” Bi-Han spoke.

“Whatever you have to say, brother, can wait. I have something important to tell her as well.” Then Kuai Liang spoke.

“I have something just as important to say to her.” Tomas pitched in.

“Why don’t you all just tell me what you want to say.” You were snappy since you were tired.

There was silence. They were unsure about confessing right now. But if it has to be done, so be it. Bi-Han will go first obviously. He pulled you in close, glared at his brothers, then looked down at you with a less cold look.

“Ever since the first time I saw you kill that fool, I knew you were the perfect woman for me. Skilled, precise, vicious even. You belong next to a grandmaster like me. I would hate for some incompetent fool to have their hands on you and ruin a perfectly good woman like yourself.”

To be honest, you were shocked. Did Bi-Han really have his eyes on you this whole time? You would have never guessed.

I mean it’s not like he deliberately made time to train you every time you were at the temple. It’s not like you caught him giving you that devilish smirk whenever he watch you kill someone else in your own devious way. And when you asked everyone else if he has ever smiled at them that way they all thought you were mad. Cause when the fuck does Bi-Han ever smile. There was never even a twitch in his lips at anything enjoyable other than you. Alright so there were signs you just didn’t think too much into it.

Now it was Kuai Liang’s turn. He yanked you away from his brother and held you close. He looked at you more warmly and a less cold expression overall.

“Your beauty and intellect has awed me. I have never met a woman with your skills. You are a rare kind of person that I would hate to let go of. My desire for you burns brighter and hotter than the fire I produce.”

Kuai Liang’s words were sweet. You believed him since he was always such a gentleman to you. He always complimented and applaud you for your plans. Your ways of execution were unlike anything he has seen. You always appreciated that you felt equal to him. He never held back when you two would practice which helps make sure you were always at your best.

Don’t forget about Tomas. He pulled you in by your waist. His head rested on your shoulder, just appreciating your presence before confessing.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen someone with such skills that could rival a hunter. Not even in my homeland did I see many like you. I see so much potential in you and I want to be next to you as you develop your skills further. No one could rival you.”

You always heard Tomas cheer you on. He wanted to know your tricks and you would happily share them with him. You two had a closeness that came from your sneaky skills. He was great to practice with when preparing for your next assignments, except you wouldn’t actually kill him of course. You appreciated that he saw that you were actually sweet and never questioned if you were just putting up a persona or not. He wasn’t afraid of hearing that sweet voice of yours and think that you were about to poison him.

He let you go and now they were all looking at you. It’s your call. Whoever you will pick will have you for himself. Now pick. Who will you be with?

Bi-Han

(So…this is your choice)

You walked up to Bi-Han. You had your eyes on Bi-Han for some time. He is strong, he helped you better your skills, he’s got a handsome face, and a voice that sends shivers down your spine. Clearly, you’re digging him too.

That devilish smirk came back. In his mind you made the right decision. A woman like you is fit for a grandmaster. Your devious tactics combined with his high title is a great combo.

You didn’t even have to verbally say yes to him he took your approach to him as the answer. Unexpectedly, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

Well he can’t have you in front of his brothers since they wanted you just as badly. You didn’t know where he was taking you but you recognized soon that he took you to his office. Just for extra measures since the locks apparently aren’t good enough, he froze the door handle. Now no one could get in and no one can get out.

Bi-Han wiped all the papers off the desk before placing you down on it. He leaned his body against yours to the point he pushed you onto your back. You heard a little hum of desire before he spoke up.

“Finally, we are alone. I have you all to myself.”

Kuai Liang

(Is this correct, reader?)

You walked up to Kuai Liang. You need a gentleman like Kuai Liang. Not just that but his body drew you in. So warm and well built. All those times he would pin you down during practice made you fall for him hard. Even his serious expression was attractive to you.

You made Kuai Liang a happy man today. A lovely lady like you is something he has dreamed of. One that is just as tough and precise when plan making as he is.

“You have quite a way with words, Kuai Liang. I can tell it came deep from your heart.” You commented as you placed your hand on his chest.

He looked at you so lovingly. In your heart you felt like you made a good choice. He held your face as he leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead. The kiss felt hot. His desire truly does burn hot.

You heard a groan come from Bi-Han. At least Tomas can act happy for his brother. Kuai Liang will surely get shit for this from his brother. But it doesn’t matter. He has you and he couldn’t be more happy.

“Do not worry about him. He is just upset that I have a beauty like you in my arms now.”

Tomas

(Your eyes see true)

You walked up to Tomas. You want someone who sees so much in you. To hear that you remind him of his homeland made your heart melt. You never heard something so sweet.

Tomas was ecstatic. Being picked is such a wonderful feeling. He picked you up in his strong arms and twirled you around as if you were a princess. Hey, I bet he would give you that princess treatment you deserve.

You giggled as he placed kisses all over your face. His beautiful huntress. All his.

Of course Bi-Han groaned and wanted to start a fight with Tomas. For once, Tomas would not let his brother get in the way of his happiness. He threw a smoke bomb in Bi-Han’s direction which made him go into a coughing fit. At least Kuai Liang was happy that his brother found love, and that he didn’t get hit with a smoke bomb. He turned his attention back to you again.

“Perhaps we should go somewhere more private, my dearest.”

Bonus: All of them

(I’m the writer I get to have a say!)

“Well, you clearly all like me. Why not I just date all of you.” You said it so casually.

You stumped them all. It wasn’t because they didn’t think of that it’s because it’s not something one would usually say in a situation like this. But you ain’t the usual kind of gal, are you.

“Can’t I love you all equally? Don’t brothers have to share anyways?” You keep bringing up these points which stump them further.

Ah yes, the tactic of confusion.

You can easily love them all. They will get their own special treatments. There is so much to love about each one of them. You were already debating on this before so you had this all set in your mind.

“Perhaps you can. I am unsure how this could work but it will not hurt to try.” Kuai Liang answered.

“Yeah, I think this could work out. You always find a way to make things happen. it will make everyone involved happy.” Tomas added on.

Kuai Liang agreed with Tomas which made them both on board with this. Bi-Han was more hesitant. He should have you all to himself. But it would make some things awkward around her. Oh fine! At least he still gets you.

“Fine. We will have it your way. But I get to have you first.”

Bi-Han picked you up and threw you over his shoulders. You get a sense of deja vu but you never experienced this, right?

All the brothers start to argue and insist he put you down. It was a no from him every time. You sigh as you realize this could get a little complicated.

Oh dear, looks like Bi-Han needs to learn that sharing is caring.

After notes: Alright yall I gotta go gamble and fight senior citizens for pickle rick, giants football, and a Japanese switch. I will throw hands. Sorry if this ain’t the best I did my best. Adiós!

[kairoot]

the hide my bfs here prank one with jay is so real 😭😭 i cant wait to see the break up one 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 hopefully u don’t plan on making it too angsty or anything :00

enhypen, break-up prank ꒰♡︎꒱ . ⁺

genre: fluff, a little emotional but not too angsty!

warnings: mentions of ending a relationship, nothing too much, jay’s is a text message oneshot

requested: yes!

pairing: enha x gn!reader

author’s note: of course, i didn’t plan for this to be too angsty, mainly all jokes! 😽💕

🔖 — heeseung.

instantly turns into a confused Bambi

doesn’t take you seriously at first

but then he’s kinda worried

a rollercoaster of emotions tbh

esp after you tell him it’s a prank

heeseung had noticed that you were acting weird all day. whenever he went to kiss you you didn’t kiss back, or when he talked to you your responses were short. he wasn’t sure what it was.

as he entered the room, he saw you sitting at the edge, scrolling through movies on the tv.

he sat on his knees in front of you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“love?” he called, your gaze not on him but you could feel his on you. you gave a half-hearted hum, eyes still on the tv.

“is there something wrong?”

“hee,” you started, putting the remote down. “i think we should break up.”

his heart sunk for a moment. that was so random, you weren’t serious right?

“babe,” he laughed a bit, taking your hand in his. “seriously, what’s wrong?”

you finally look down at him, a sour look on your face. his expression changed, doe eyes now sparkling up at you.

“did I.. did I do something?”

the prank didn’t last very long since you weren’t able to resist the look in his eyes.

“oh, baby,” you wrapped your arms around him, cooing. ok, now he was really confused..

“i was joking honey, i can’t leave you.”

that made his insides all fuzzy. but he was still indeed, confused.

🔖 — jay.

confused pt2

esp when you call him by his first name

is lowkey upset

he’s in denial

cause how are you gonna try to break up with THE park jongseong??

over text too??!

will not let you “break up” with him

🔖 — jake.

might actually break down in tears

he’s a bit emotional guys

is literally going through a list of things he did in his day to check if he did anything wrong

shut him up with kisses please before he starts panicking

definitely don’t try this prank on him again

“hey, babe-“ jake sat next to you on the couch, going in for a kiss. he stopped his sentence though, when you dodged the smooch he was about to give you.

“jake, omg this is why i wanna break up with you.” you playfully rolled your eyes. his turned into puppy ones, now leaning away from you slowly.

“w-what? did i do something? am i being too touchy? clingy? did i forget to put the seat down? did-“

he began to rant before you grabbed his face in both of your hands and brought your lips to his soft plump ones.

he made a confused noise but still melted into the kiss.

“I’m confused.” his words were muffled by your lips still on his, his hands coming to rest where yours remained on the sides of his face.

“i can never prank you.”

🔖 — sunghoon.

smug.

knows you’re not serious

cause once again, how are you gonna leave HIM?

does not take you seriously

“hoon, we should end this.” you said to him, leaning on the countertop in your kitchen. he stood at the stove, attempting to make dinner for the both of you.

“what, me trying not to burn dinner?” he chuckled a bit, that deep laugh making your cheeks warm. you tried not to get distracted by his charm and continue with the prank.

“no, our relationship.”

he snorted, not sparing you a glance, “y/n, please.”

“what?”

“you love me way too much to leave me. i’m just too handsome and lovable.” he shrugged, continuing to stir around dinner in his pan.

“you’re no fun, sunghoon.”

🔖 — sunoo.

ok?

then leave?

will not complain 😹

only cause he knows you’re not serious

if you were, he’d obviously talk to you abt it

but because he’s not fooled by your little jokes anymore he’s like fine 🤷🏽‍♀️

“sunoo, we should break up.”

“okay.” he responded from the sofa, scrolling through his phone. he didn’t even look up at you, just shrugging his shoulders when he answered.

“okay?” your mouth was agape as you laughed a bit.

“mhm. bye-bye.” he waved somewhere in your direction, still not looking up from his phone.

“SUNOO, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT FOR ME.”

“nah, im good.”

🔖 — jungwon.

is like wtf

wdym break up

what did he do?

lowkey has a hard time processing what you just said

you walk side by side with jungwon up to the library the two of you would be studying at. you stopped outside of the door, a faux pout on your face.

“what’s wrong, love?” jungwon stopped to look at your face as your gaze seemed to be on the ground.

you turned to him, “wonie, we need to break up.”

“what?” his eyebrows furrowed below his beanie. he shifted on one foot, eyes still on you as he tried to process the words that escaped your lips. the words he never, ever wanted to hear.

“we have to break up.”

“y/n, did you seriously bring me all the way here just to tell me that?” now he sounded irritated, his jaw clenching.

you finally looked up to see his expression, actually feeling bad now.

“no, baby, im just joking.” you hid your giggle with a small smile, wrapping your arms around his torso.

he sighed, shaking his head while mirroring your smile. he placed a hand on your head while the other came to wrap around you.

“come on, we’ve got some studying to do.”

🔖 — ni-ki.

wants to take you serious when he sees your face but he just can’t

ki is the prank master, he can see right through your little jokes

is like, “you? wanna leave me? yea ok 😹”

clowns you 100%

ni-ki plops on your bed, ready to share different details about your day when he notices your expression.

“what?” he lifts his head, propping himself on his elbows.

you sigh, not looking up, “i wanna break up.”

there was a loud silence before it was interrupted by ni-ki’s loud laugh. he cackled for a good while, grasping his stomach as you looked at him like he was crazy.

“are you really laughing right now?”

“i-im sorry, it’s just-“ he snorted, laughing even harder this time. you sat there, arms folded. you could never fool someone who could pull pranks better than you.

⟢ milan’s notes: another short reaction im sorry 😞

taglist: @haechansbbg @contyynishimura (message or comment to be added)

[haylessa]

Bridge to the Turnabout

man do i feel like crying finishing this game.

the way they connected so many past cases to this final one is amazing. seems like everything connects to the DL-6 incident somehow lol. how Misty Fey failed her channeling on that case, Miles's phobia of earthquakes, leading all up to him losing sight of the suspect, which then made a chance for them to swap places with a twin. wow they truly planned this ahead didn't they.

playing as Miles!!! that was really entertaining. his inner monologues are hilarious. he flew all the way to Japan just because of Phoenix okay??? totally normal about this. and Franziska also flew from Germany just to have a chance at battling(?) Phoenix again (not surprised).

not them being in cahoots fooling the judge that Miles is a defense attorney HAHAH yeah siblings. loveee how they both ended up helping Phoenix big time in this case. like "eh since I flew all the way here why not" Franziska showing her kindness albeit being all snarky about it haha who are you fooling you're just a softie inside.

aww are you worried? she just randomly decided to follow Phoenix around welp that's cute... argh i love her she's so precious, they'll never make me hate you Franziska von karma<3

okay first time i saw him my first thoughts was that he's a relative of Diego. not being Diego himself. damn i thought he actually came from the depths of hell. as in like, zombies. there's spirit channeling, so another weird thing would be totally normal right? i was wrong.

people in this game hop jobs like hopscotch from lawyers to prosecutors to detectives (talking about lana) it's so unserious (i love it).

tbh this case was quite confusing even when there's all sorts of evidence. it would be very helpful if they explained the whole timeline of the murder in order at the end. because with all the channeling it was confusing who's body is who and where everyone actually is, or was that again, just me? they said Iris betrayed Dahlia when she planned the fake kidnapping? or when she killed her stepsister? or both? how did she betray her, i mean how exactly did she run away??

Godot said he contacted Misty and Iris. so Misty and Iris were in cahoots right? so she lied that she didn't know Elise was Misty then. god so many questions i should open up wiki later.

their story was such a tragedy:( and Maya oh Maya....... she probably only figured out Elise was her mom after she got killed right in front of he. but she had to be strong for Pearl. my poor little girls....i wanna hug them so bad. this whole fiasco is very fucked up. also did Misty refuse Maya to help cook because she might find out it's her mom?

Maya probably held deep in her heart on the fact that her mom, although missing, is still alive out there somewhere. and now... she's really gone.

i'm glad she's got a home with Pearl and Phoenix now. there's also Detective Gumshoe, Edgeworth, Franziska, and all the friends they made along the way who'll always look out for her. I wish we could see Maya and Franziska slowly becoming friends, they're nineteen! they should be at the club!!

this pic of little Mia and Maya is so cute:((( busted breaking the sacred urn even before Pearl did. and no one said a thing looking at it😭

i'm gonna miss them all so much... i haven't played the other games (yet) but i'm pretty sure nothing can top the original trilogy. quirky characters with personalities, unmatched goofiness, emotional sibling bonds, and overall a really really good story. it will stay with me forever<3

[katyawriteswhump]

love and other catastrophes at the omega cafe (8.2/8) The end 🐈‍⬛

Summary: Steve is a runaway Omega who gets a job at an Omega café, where he’s basically paid to curl up and purr in Alphas’ laps. It’s legal, and he earns a living, rents his own place. He’s getting along fine for a packless Omega. Then Alpha rockstar Eddie Munson turns up for an hour of ‘kitty’ petting, and shatters Steve’s fragile little world… Rating: E; Tags: omega steve, alpha eddie, a/b/o dynamics, fluff and angst, sexual content, very fluffy ending, reference to mpreg. 💚

Chapter 1 on tumblr (also index post)Chapter 2 Chapter 3.1 Chapter 3.2 Chapter 4.1 Chapter 4.2 Chapter 5.1 Chapter 5.2 Chapter 6.1 Chapter 6.2 Chapter 7.1 Chapter 7.2 Chapter 8.1 Complete fic on Ao3 Also, thank you so much @moonjelly69 you are the best and this ending is for you 💚

🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

Chapter 8.2

Steve awoke in the softest-ever nest, with an Alpha body spooned cosily around his, and with gentle nibbling kisses warming his claim mark.

“Morning, Stevie,” whispered Eddie. “You okay?”

Steve’s answer trickled from his happily sleepy soul: “I’m feeling perfect.”

“Not sore anywhere?”

“Uuuuuuh… Gimme a sec?” Steve’s mind started roving through yesterday’s wild ride. The not-so-great parts, he skimmed over. They seemed to have no place in this sun-drenched morning.

Onto the good parts, then.

The bite had hurt. Christ, it was a gooooood hurt. When Eddie drank, the suction created a light sting, and the edges of Steve’s consciousness had flickered and grayed. At the same time, his mind opened up and he’d whirled, weightless, through starry skies, and he’d not been alone there. He’d felt so very safe, like he did now, and Eddie was Steve’s universe, and Steve was his. He’d wailed with a strange, searing joy, and when Eddie replaced teeth with that healing tongue, he’d landed back in his body with a pain-free splash.

Right now, the bite was slightly sore. The emptiness in his tummy and the mess of slick between his legs bugged him way more. Oh, and the lowkey fever simmering beneath his skin. And the fact his hot, hard, naked Alpha had a raging hard-on slabbed against the curves of Steve’s ass rather than wedged inside his pussy.

“I’m hungry,” Steve said, at length. “I sort of want breakfast, tho’ I need your knot more. Jesus! I think your bite induced a mini-heat or something.”

Eddie rubbed Steve’s tummy, and his laugh zinged deliciously across his claim mark: “If I lie here much longer, I’m gonna be in full-on rut. Not that it’s a problem. Just wanna be totally present for you.”

“As long as your dick is constantly present, I’ll be fine. The rest of you is kinda meh, tbh.”

“Bad Omega angling for a light spanking?” Eddie flicked Steve’s ear, and Steve mulled the idea over. That actually sounds kinda hot. “How about I order coffee and muffins,” said Eddie, “then we fuck, have breakfast in nest, then fool around more?”

The weekend was literal heaven. While Steve was slightly woozy, it felt like being happily buzzed, with no hint of headache or nausea. Eddie didn’t spank him. He did spoil him rotten in every other way, including massaging and kissing his feet when they weren’t even cold, and barely letting him out of the nest all day Saturday. Steve’s main discomfort came from not having Eddie inside him. Still, mild heat pangs were completely endurable knowing he had his Alpha to cater to his every whim and fill him at a heartbeat’s notice.

On Sunday, Steve felt up to brunch on the veranda. They made love in every room apart from Wayne’s—who was staying in a hotel, for obvious reasons. They even fooled around in the pool, though only after Steve had planted his hands on his hips and stamped his foot about it.

“I’m totally fine to swim, Eddie! You make me wet constantly. What difference would a dip make?”

He was in such a state of carefree bliss that he only recalled the issue about the filters later. Eddie said he’d take care of it, made a call, and by Monday morning, they owned the apartment. “We need a base in the city, so you can visit your friends. Now we can bathe in your slick to our hearts content.”

“Gross!” said Steve, crinkling his nose. He still loved that Eddie wanted it. The pool seemed fine anyway.

When Eddie announced he was gonna cancel the album-launch gig, however, they had their closest thing to an actual row. “You can’t let your fans down!” protested Steve. “Believe it or not, I can totally handle a few hours without you.”

“Yeah, but can I handle any without you,” growled Eddie. “I’ll literally start rutting against an amp or something.”

“Why don’t you rehearse here? I could get used to your music without flipping out. And get to know the band. It’ll be cool.”

In the event, having Corroded Coffin practice in the apartment was the opposite of cool. Steve curled in the nest with his ear-defenders on, while Eddie’s voice ignited a renewed bout of heat fever. He was soon squirming and sweltering in a state of nigh-orgasmic bliss and his perfume clouded the apartment. As soon as the guys left—pissing themselves laughing at the seam-busting bulge at Eddie’s crotch—Eddie rutted him hard, buried his knot deep, and licked and snuggled him for the rest of the day.

The guys brought gifts for the nest, old tour scarfs and hoodies and the like. The only one who didn’t was Gareth, who seemed kinda grumpy, so Steve didn’t push things. By day three of rehearsals, Steve also made a bit of a breakthrough. Which he told Robin all about, when Eddie went to do his soundcheck at the venue on the day of the concert.

“Music doesn’t make me flip out anymore,” he said, rolling his tongue around a cake-pop. “Eddie’s voice makes me totally puddly, yeah, but he is my Alpha. Yesterday, I stayed in the same room, while they jammed, and yeah, I perfumed like fuck, and Jeff said he was getting horny, and Eddie joke throttled him. It’s like… the feelings still arise, good ones and bad ones, but I can ride them, even control them a little. They don’t overwhelm me anymore.”

“That’s because you’re safe now, Steve.” Robin smiled a hilariously cinnamon-and-coffee-cake-crumbed smile. “You got your soulmate to look after you and can let yourself go. You can finally trust the world around you.”

“I guess.” Steve let this sink in, smiled back and then… narrowed his eyes and twitched his nose. “You reek of Chrissy more than you do cinnamon, Robin!”

“Jesus, Dingus, you finally noticed. Corroded Coffin’s gig is gonna be our third date.” He reached across the table and squeezed her hand, and she squealed nearly as excitedly as he did.

They chatted for ages, including about the divorce papers. Steve’s ex-husband signed them, uncontested, around the same time Hopper’s deputy turned up to arrest him for kidnap. Yeah, they were trumped-up charges, but no less crazy than the attempted murder one.

“It still scares me a bit,” he admitted, “knowing what they tried to do to save face and all. I figure I ought to be more scared, really. It’s hard to be what with—”

“—a super-hot, super-rich Alpha to look out for you?” She picked at her cracked nail-polish and sighed. “I wish I could be all that for Chrissy.”

He was about to remind her how she, in her way, was equally kickass, and hey, Omegas could be badass, too, in a pinch. Most crucially, soulmates came in all shapes and forms and from any designation. Instead, she blurted: “Oh shit-birds, look at the time! I gotta go get ready for the gig, or I’m gonna turn up looking like a corpse.”

Steve had already gotten his outfit sorted—a snug-fitting Corroded Coffin logo vest that he’d had custom printed, with the original blood-red and lime-green transformed into hilariously Omega pastel lilac and sage. Steve was chief groupie now, and he’d even gotten a Corroded Coffin charm dangling from his peach-leather collar. He was gonna rock it with pride beneath his kitty-ear tiara, which totally deserved another outing.

One, hopefully, where nobody got arrested.

Backstage, Eddie couldn’t keep his hands off Steve. He scooped Steve close for a ridiculously erotic kiss—cramming him with tongue and grinding into him. Pitching Steve, yet again, into a happily wibbly, semi-orgasmic state.

While the band had their pre-gig huddle, Steve took his place in the wings at the side of the stage. It was an old-fashioned theatre, so a smallish venue, and he peeped out to spy Robin and Chrissy holding hands and ready to party in the ‘golden circle.’ Carol and Tommy squeezed in alongside a grumpy-looking Hopper and his excited pups. Joyce—who had, surprisingly, said ‘yes’ to her offer of a VIP ticket—had huddled her way into the middle of the group near Hopper. He hoped she’d be okay. The air was thick and hot with aggressive Alpha scents.

Well, he figured it was.

All Steve could breathe was the super-strong zest of his Alpha.

Then Eddie roared onto stage, stuck that first wailing power-chord, and Steve was gone.

Yeah, he danced like a demon, and yeah, he definitely indulged in some apeshit 90s-style head-banging till his hair was wrecked and his tiara fell off. He knew his Alpha scented his joy. Eddie couldn’t stop glancing Steve’s way, and even grinning at him, dopily and lovestruck, and totally ruining some of his goriest brain-matter smeared lyrics.

At the end of the set-list’s final song, the lights dimmed to total dark. Predictably, the crowd clamoured for more. Steve sensed his Alpha dash toward him and grab his hand. Before he could panic about it, Steve was dragged onto the stage and the lights flared up.

“What the hell?” he mouthed. He was laughing too. He should be nervous, but how could he be? He was with his Alpha, and the whole crowd felt like family and pack.

“Want to introduce y’all to someone really special,” drawled Eddie, pulsing Steve’s hand reassuringly. “This is Steve—my Omega and my soulmate. Uuuuh, this next song may be a little rough around the edges. So yeah, indulge us on this one, huh?”

He leaned down and whispered, just for Steve, “You okay, Honey?” Steve nodded. “Cool.”

A roadie dashed on, with a velvet-cushioned seat. Okay, it was genuinely a gold-painted throne. Eddie backed him gently onto it, so he perched like a princess in his wonky tiara. Jeff was facepalming and cackling like he’d gone bananas. And Gareth? Ouch, his face was one total cringe of despair.

Eddie, meanwhile, ditched his electric guitar, and grabbed… Were they goddamn jingly handbells?

Okay, it was totally cheesy. And that was before the naff-tastic song launched off, with Eddie screaming the lyrics as crazily as he jingled.

“These bells gonna chime for you, my little kitty. Wanna marry you now, please say yes, my little kitty. Gonna make your nest a heaven, and daddy your little kitties … If you’ll say yes, yes please please, my little kitty?”

Steve said ‘yes.’

Of course, he did—through tears of happiness and of hysterical laughter at the catastrophically lovestruck Alpha kneeling before him.

….

Epilogue—one year later

Steve arrived at ‘Kitties’ first thing Monday morning, as he always did when they were staying in the city.

When the bell on the door tinkled, Carol looked up from where she was arranging the cake counter. She was eclipsed from Steve’s sight by Chrissy, who threw herself at Steve, shadowed by Robin, who’d soon gotten them both tight in a three-way, totally squealy hug.

“OMG, Steeeeve!” cried Chrissy. “It’s been yeeeears! We missed you so much!”

“It’s been three weeks,” pointed out Steve. “We’ve nearly got the house out west kitted out, so you can come and stay. Seriously, Chrissy, you need to see our nest. The whole room is like a bowl-shaped basket of floofy cushions, with soft lights in the ceiling all color-coded, and—”

Chrissy shushed him: “Don’t ruin the surprise!”

“Tone it down will ya?” Carol sneered. “Monday morning hangover here? Jeeez, I’m scared to make you ditzy O-heads coffee—how hyped up you gonna be after caffeine?”

She returned to her cakes, in no hurry—the café wouldn’t open till noon. No point opening for the ‘graveyard’ shift, when old friends needed a place to catch up. Without the dampeners and chemical ‘fresheners’ turned on, Steve breathed only of friendship and coffee, with hints of sweet pastries and thick double cream. Steve got high on it, while curling on the biggest beanbag with his two besties.

They talked relatively quietly—to stop Carol’s bitching—though there was a lot to share. Chrissy and Robin had set a date for their wedding. Which they wanted to be rather less shouty than Steve and Eddie’s insane nuptials at the crack of midsummer dawn in a full-size replica of Stonehenge. The chorus of super-amped wedding bells was so loud that Eddie claimed to be disappointed they’d not raised a zombie apocalypse.

“Do you want to borrow anything for your ceremony?” asked Steve.

“From the wedding that taste forgot?” sniped Robin. “No thank you, Dingus. My ears are still freakin’ ringing! Oh, but we wouldn’t mind borrowing the apartment for a pool party afterward. That would be cool.”

“She wants to use the chemical analysis from your pool for her Omega-access-to-swimming campaign,” whispered Chrissy, squeezing around Robin’s neck. “Isn’t she the absolute bestest?”

Steve wasn’t gonna argue, and then they got onto some of Steve’s latest gossip. Eddie had finally made peace with Gareth, who’d rejoined the band, although: “He still refuses to play, ‘Marry me, Kitty.’” Gareth had stomped out after the novelty track went viral and became Corroded Coffin’s biggest ever hit. “Gonna admit I still get edgy vibes off him. I know his return makes Eddie happy, so as far as I’m concerned, we’re good.”

The doorbell tinkled again. Eddie’s metallic-wine-with-peaches scent billowed in, followed by Eddie: “If Gareth as much as looks at my kitty wrong, I’ll kick his sorry butt to the moon.”

Soon, Steve was back in his happiest of happy places, curled with his head in Eddie’s lap. Eddie petted Steve relentlessly. Steve’s skin tingled and he purred in undiluted bliss, while Eddie sipped his coconut mocha with extra cream.

Nobody anywhere made it like Carol did, and soon she joined them too, cuddling up with Tommy, who arrived late as usual. Their chatter eventually tailed off into a comfy quiet, broken only by a small chorus of those contented purrs.

Until, Eddie said, “Ya know, dudes, it’s not gonna be so quiet with us in a few months’ time.” He leaned down and whispered to Steve, “Told them yet, honey?”

“Oh my Gooooood!” Chrissy was already bouncing up out of Robin’s lap, hands spiralling like she’d gotten imaginary pompoms.

“Okay. Cat outta the bag, I guess. I’m due in February.” Steve scrambled up to sit, so he could beam point-blank at his husband. Eddie slid a warm hand onto Steve’s teeny bump, which Steve’s most comfy stretchy shorts and looser than usual t-shirt still disguised. He pecked a coconut-y kiss on Steve’s nose.

“Um, yeeeeah.” Carol snapped her gum. “I’m sorry, Sirs, but I’m pretty sure kids are against the Ts and Cs in this place.”

“Yeah, pretty sure.” Tommy nodded as keenly as he always did, when agreeing with his Omega. “If not, I say we write it in. No pups. Not in my… erm, Carol’s café.”

“You’re kidding?” said Eddie, though Steve laughed out loud.

He knew they were kidding. He also loved that Tommy, who didn’t want kids, had found an Omega who didn’t want any either. What were the odds?

“I suppose we could make an exception,” said Carol, “but seriously—your brats start to wail, and you can make your own damn coffee!”

“Deal,” said Steve, “tho’ I really suggest you make the most of the peace while you can, because Joyce is joining us in about ten minutes.”

It was Carol’s turn to squeal: “No way!” Joyce and Hopper had gotten together soon after Eddie’s gig and had already added a new-born pup to Hopper’s army of foster kids.

Yes, everything had turned out absolutely perfectly for everyone Steve cared about. Wasn’t life great?

Steve hunkered down into Eddie’s lap once more, and they both purred so loudly the sofa shook with it.

🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

Thank you so very much for reading. If you enjoyed, every little like and reblog or comment means a lot to me so thank you💚

tags 💚🐈‍⬛💚 @disrespectedgoatman 💚 @bumblebeecuttlefishes

@katethetank 💚 @themoonagainstmers 💚 @chaotic-waffle 💚

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

On AO3

[swifty-fox]

I was so excited when I woke up to the Love Song from a Dog notification this morning! The parallel between Gale fantasizing about John and John fantasizing about Gale in the same bed was so well written that I actually went back and read that chapter in KFAK.

I was wondering if you think Gale would ever admit to John he feminized himself in those fantasies? Would John be into it?

I so appreciate that you don’t soften Gale as a character, I think he is often feminized in the head canons I see floating around. Which is fun and often sexy (and easy to do when you look like Austin Butler goddamn). But how you write Gale as well aware of societal roles and how he doesn’t conform to them (in that he doesn’t want John to view him as a woman) is such great characterization.

On the other hand maybe sometime down the line when they’re both more confident and comfortable in their relationship it might be something they explore.

I’ll be waiting in wonderful agony for the next two weeks for the next update!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

every time love song gets an ask an angel gets its wings....sometimes I wonder if anyone reads it dbskfjhgvf

But I love it. It's a really heavy fic to write and the next chapter is def gonna be rough. I might not have the mental fortitude to get to it until the holidays are over but!!! It's my baby.

Hahaaa yeah I was like narratively speaking he HAS to!! I love how their journeys with their sexuality are so parallel but sooo deeply different. Almost opposite in a way. Gale knows what he is but is so sexually repressed meanwhile John is so repressed about what he is but sexually is so open. That's almost the issue of their conflict in some ways. The things they need to work through are so conflicting.

I think for Gale his feminizing himself is less of a kink and more of a avenue of self loathing tbh. It doesn't sexually excite him, it's a weird self-flagellating safety net.

In Gale's eyes John doesnt like women. He'd never want Gale, but if Gale were a woman he would. And so he puts himself in these fantasies to both dissociate himself from it as well as almost like sexually punish himself? That's why in the aforementioned bed masturbation bit when he begins to fantasize about topping John it takes him out of the fantasy and he has to stop. it feels to real and too close and too scary. it's giving himself TOO much agency. Straight, Masculine John bottoming?? Impossible (Gale u fool)

To that degree I don't know if Gale would ever bring it up and if he did yes John would definitely find it arousing (he finds anything about Gale arousing lol) But I don't know if they would ever explore it because Gale is so... weird about his masculinity.

I think for me Gale is the more hypermasculine of the two. BECAUSE his masculinity feels sooooo performative. It's more of a shield or a mask he wears rather than John where he's more just...being himself and that happens to be very traditionally masculine. And to me I interpret that as someone (In Gale's case) who is DEEPLY insecure about said masculinity. Gale has issues with his gender presentation stemming from his sexuality and really he just needs to be dropped into a college sex & sexuality course and he might be fixed.

Unfortunately, it is 1946.

And thank you! If ur in the US I hope your holidays were good as well!

[hqbaby]

sixteen — this is real

fuck ur instincts — suna x reader & atsumu x reader

you and suna are just fooling around—so why does he care so much when you start falling in love with someone else?

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 1.5k content. swearing, pretty tame tbh

him: wanna come over tonight?

y/n the love of my life: sorry!! got plans

Suna can’t help the frown that takes over his features as he stares at your message. It’s not a big deal. You’ve turned him down before, this isn’t anything special. In fact, this is completely normal. Did he really expect you to drop everything going on in your life for him? Of course not.

Logic doesn’t stop it from bothering him though. The truth is that he hasn’t been alone with you since you left him that one night. Sure, he sees you around friends but you never really talk because you’re not supposed to be this close. Sure, it’s only been four days since that night but still. It unsettles him, it makes him feel like he doesn’t know where the two of you stand.

“Sorry, Bo, I got plans with Y/N tonight.”

Suna’s head shoots up to find Atsumu grinning at their teammate. What?

Bokuto waves it off. “No biggie, bro!” he says. “Say hi to her for me.”

“Will do.” Atsumu closes his locker and turns to look at Suna. “Ya good, man?”

So he’s your “plans,” Suna thinks. It makes him want to hurl. He hates it.

“Yeah,” he manages to say, already sprinting out of the locker room. “I’m fine.”

He’s not fine. He feels like he’s burning from inside out at the thought of you ditching him for Atsumu. Fucking Atsumu. Don’t you know that he used to cry after science exams? That he had to take his driving test four times? That he and Osamu once spent an entire week finishing a 10,000 piece puzzle while everyone else thought they had died?

Suna slams his head on his steering wheel. It doesn’t matter if you know any of that. All that matters is that you’re choosing Atsumu. Instead of him.

He pulls his phone out and starts typing a message to some girl who gave him her number at a party. She wouldn’t say no to him. He knows she wouldn’t. And that’s why he can’t bring himself to send the message, why he throws his phone on the passenger seat and drives back home instead of doing anything stupid.

Kiyoko reaches her leg out and pokes you with her toe. “What’s up with you?”

You glance up from the lab report you’re working on, bemused. “With me?” you ask. “Not much, dude. What about you?”

She gives you a knowing look. “You’re so full of shit.”

“Am not!”

“You’re withholding gossip!” she accuses, grinning as she points a finger at you. “Come on! I need to know what’s going on!”

You put your laptop away. “Nothing’s going on!” you tell her, but there’s a smile in your voice that says otherwise. “Well, nothing too crazy at least.”

“Tell me!”

You start laughing as your roommate hops onto your bed, grabbing one of your pillows while she looks at you eagerly. “It’s really nothing,” you say. “‘Tsumu just kinda sorta… asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes, you are,” she says. “Because if he actually did that, you wouldn’t be seeing him tonight.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you said no to him. You’re nice, you don’t string guys along after you turn them down.”

You stare at her. She stares at you. You stare at her. She cocks her head to the side. You give a small nod.

“Holy shit!” she exclaims. “You said yes?!”

“Not yet!”

“Yet?!”

You’re laughing as she tries to tackle you. “Dude, chill!” you say. “We don’t know what’s gonna happen!”

She shakes her head, hands on your shoulders as she rattles you around. “You have to tell me,” she says, leaning close enough to make her already-wide eyes look wider, “do you love him?”

“I don’t know!” you say, pushing her away.

You furrow your brows at the words that fall out of your mouth. You were supposed to say no. Why didn’t you say no?

“You don’t know?”

“Are you using me as an excuse to avoid your homework?” you ask in an attempt to change the subject.

“Doesn’t matter!” she says. “Wait. What about Suna?”

You wince. 

The truth is that you don’t know what’s going to happen with Suna. You’ve been avoiding him ever since the night that you decided not to stay over. You still see him when you hang out with his friends and go visit his team, but you never talk to him, sticking to your usual polite-but-not-close relationship in public.

It’s been eating you alive and you don’t really know why. You’re going to have to talk to him eventually, about Atsumu, about everything. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but for some reason, it feels like it is. Why?

“If I say yes to Atsumu,” you say carefully, “I guess things with Rin will be over.”

It hits you as soon as you say it.

Over.

It seems so final, so unnecessary. Surely, there’s a better way to do this. This can’t be it.

Kiyoko looks thoughtful, like she’s considering her words very carefully. Then, she asks, “How do you feel about that? You know, ending things with Suna.”

You shrug. This time you know you mean it when you say, “I don’t know.”

You’re sitting in Atsumu’s car with your head leaned against the window. You haven’t planned anything special tonight, just eating take-out and driving around. Normally, you’d be talking each other’s ears off, but you can’t seem to focus right now.

Ever since your talk with Kiyoko that afternoon, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about Suna. It bugs you more than you know it should and that only makes it worse.

“Yer quiet tonight,” Atsumu says. His voice isn’t accusatory or harsh, like he’s just making an observation. “Somethin’ botherin’ ya?”

You chew your bottom lip and fiddle with the straw of your drink. “Yeah. Just a little.”

He hums. “Do ya wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know if I can,” you tell him quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothin’ to apologize for,” Atsumu says, glancing over to give you a reassuring smile. He finds a spot near the lake on campus and parks nearby. “We can talk about anythin’ ya want. Or not. We can just sit here and eat. That’s okay too.”

He turns the engine off and rolls the windows down, the autumn air drifting in. There are a few other people in the area, groups of friends daring each other to dive into the lake and couples talking or getting into arguments. It’s a night like any other and, as you sit there eating and listening to the playlist you and Atsumu put together, you know you wouldn’t mind spending more of your time like this.

“Have you ever had to let something go?”

The question just falls out of you. It fills the gaps in the air like it was always meant to be there. Like it was something you were always meant to ask.

“Anythin’ in particular?” he asks, taking a sip of his drink.

You look out the window and see a girl, soaked to the bone, walk out of the lake before chasing after her friends. 

“A person,” you say, “after you realized that you wanted different things.”

“Yer not talkin’ ‘bout me are ya?” His tone is teasing.

You shake your head and smile at him. “No.”

You catch the way he looks at you. His gaze is soft and warm and kind. It makes you feel like you’re all that matters to him at this moment. Like the rest of the world is just static. 

The only other person who ever looked at you that way was Suna and he only noticed when he was inside you in one way or another.

It feels different when Atsumu does it. It makes you feel like you matter just by existing.

“So,” you say, trying to stop yourself from focusing too much on the look on his face, “have you ever had to let someone go?”

He considers your question for a moment. “I have,” he tells you. “‘Samu actually.”

That catches you off-guard. The twins are absolutely inseparable, as far as you know. “‘Samu?”

“Yeah.” He nods, getting into it now. “In highschool I thought that we were gonna do volleyball together forever. I couldn’t imagine a world where I’d have to go at it without ‘im, but that’s what happened.

“I was so mad.” He chuckles, clearly recalling a fond—or maybe not so fond—memory. “We got in a big fight and… it wasn’t pretty.”

You nod along, the story distracting you from any thoughts of Suna. “What happened?”

Atsumu sighs. “I had to get used to it,” he tells you. “We had different dreams and it wasn’t right that I pushed mine on ‘im. It wasn’t ‘Samu’s job to change and I wasn’t bein’ fair to either of us by thinking he would.”

He offers you a smile, all boyish and a little shy. He knows the vulnerability should irk him, but he can’t bring himself to care. Not when he’s talking to you. Not when you’re looking at him all nice and understanding and so fucking gorgeous.

You lean over the console and kiss him. It’s short and sweet but it means everything to the two of you.This is real, you tell yourself. You don’t know much else but you know that this—you and Atsumu and all the little spaces in between, this—is as real as you’re going to get.

notes. THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM *mic drops and runs for the hills*

[delucoko]

Wanna switch?

synopsis: A wish a psychic has chanted all his life gets granted, by a witch that just wants more answers. Regret seeps, but will something else too?

tags: bad elden german, witch!fem!reader, maybe ooc Kusuo, story building (if you squint), no idea tbh, slice of life (maybe?)

"Saiki, good timing buddy!" a purple-haired medium exclaims, seeing his friend, greeting with a up-high wave and a bright-lit smile.

"Nevermind" the psychic merely replies, turning his heels and walking away. The purple haired male doesn't take the hint, however, and wraps his arm around his shoulders and pulls him closer. He waves a letter at his face and start talking about how a pretty girl had finally become friends with him--he expects it to go farther, though.

Saiki looks at the letter he's waving begrudgingly, thinking of ways he could get away with killing the fool that was on his hunt for the coffee jelly he had seen in so many advertisements.

"It's not even addressed to you." he says. Toritsuka lets out a cartoon-ish shocked face and sighs in defeat. As the medium drops to his knees, the boy takes the letter in curiosity.

He regrets being curious more than he regrets taking that letter's offer.

Now, he was sat on the floor carpet, you continue meditating and keeping yourself reserved, though that wasn't going as good as you'd hoped seeing as a certain pink-haired psychic was watching you. You continue to keep humming, trying to block out the stare you could feel through your skin. After one more try, you let out an annoyed grunt and sent a glare at the boy.

"What do you want?" you say, brows furrowed.

"Don't get so pissed off at me, you're the one that invited me." he replies, pointing out your past conversation.

“I’m gonna kill that idiot.” you sigh, pinching off the candles’ wicks that circled you and standing yourself up. “I’m guessing your servant told you about my offer?”

"He's nowhere related with me." the psychic replies with the same monotone voice that piqued your curiosity

You stand in front of him, head tilted in thought as you measured him up and down. He stood quiet, surely reading your mind as you estimated his every noticeable detail.

"I'm guessing you already know why I invited you over?" You hum, walking past him and going over to your study desk, looking for something, by the looks of it.

"He mentioned." He says bluntly, with how fuzzy your mind was getting. He has been reading through your thoughts but it sounds as if it was broadcasted on a broken radio. If you didn't look so decent and well taken care of, the psychic would question if you had been drinking.

"I know you're psychic and all, and that--ugh, where is it." you groan, looking through each drawer and corner of the desk. "--and that you're probably hearing very thought in me right now."

"I do warn 'ya, not many can even understand this broken head I got up here." you chuckle lightly, knocking on the top of you skull before continuing to look for whatever it was you were looking for. "From what people like you tell me, my head sounds like a wounded doll or some 60s voicebox."

"What do you mean 'people like me'?" The pink-haired boy questions, eyebrows furrowed down.

"Did I say that? I don't remember." You just turn to face him with an innocent smile and a shrug. Turning your back again.

"Are there other psychics?" he sounded a lot more emoted when the topic was mentioned. He trued harder and harder to read through your thoughts, to no avail.

"I'll tell you about that later, for now... Aha! There you are, little prick." You exclaim, raising a large old-looking book with a gilded lock guarding it. "This will answer both of our questions..." you smile with a dark air surrounding you.

"If you're willing, of course." you add, looking up at the man in front of you. You let a hand out for him to grab, reluctantly he does. Your eyes squint as your smile grows bigger in excitement.

You open the book with a key you had tied to your necklace and skim through pages and pages until you see your desired spell. As if by magic, the candles were lit up once more, you and the psychic inside the lit circle back-to-back. You raise your arm as something resembling static buzzes around it, eyes going pale, you chant an ancient text from the book.

"In tiefen Schatten, weben Flüstern,

Tauschen wir Formen, unsere Seelen zu bewahren."

The room starts to fume and fog begins to puff in from the static's heat. The room's walls are barely seen with how thick the air is, from the posters to even the doorknob, nothing is noticeable. It's a wonder what your parents must think when about when you're up to these gimmicks.

"Dankbarkeit gelernt, in neuer Fleischlichkeit,

Lehre gegeben, für dich und mich."

You chant before the smoke begins to collect and wrap around each of your bodies, the pressure is tolerable yet uncomfortably tight. The psychic begins to cough when the clouds around his necks tighten and smoke chain begins to wrap his wrist linked to yours. He feels his feet lift, this was crazier than what he could have ever imagined.

'How powerful is this witch?!' he yells to himself as you both spin around. He shuts his eyes, wishing the worst on every soul he could think of that led him to this decision. And before he knew it, he was back on the floor, laid down on the hard wood floor. He skimmed the room, nothing.

It was as if nothing had happened, there were not smoke nor any traces of the witch's doing. He stood up, thinking he may have been pranked since nothing felt different, who was he kidding? A witch that could take away his powers? He should've never hoped anything to come of it.

He stood up, he expected the chatter of people's thoughts to clamor him as they usually did, when he heard nothing, his finger fiddled with his other hand to check his germanium ring.

"Huh..?" the air stood quiet, he stood still and the room was suddenly colder than the Antarctic. 'Where is it?'

The ring rolled in front of him, in shock, he looked up seeing a girl that looked his age stood above him. You just tilted your head down at him, smirking with a glint in your eye.

"You plan on laying there til the sun goes down or what?" you hum, lending a hand out for him to grab. He lifts himself up without your help and looks around the room once more.

"How does being average feel?" you ask, prompting yourself to sit on your chair.

"What did you do?" he says, but without his psychic abilities, there would be no way for you to even understand him further than that glare he was putting out.

"Hm?" you sound out, clearly confused before getting the hint that he still remains in denial of his powers no longer with him. "I can't read your thoughts, nor can you make me understand yours."

"What?" he still doesn't seem to get it.

"Talk." you simply put. "Talk with your mouth, you can't talk to me telepathically anymore." You pioint at your lips as you speak, his eyes bulge out before he finally opens his mouth.

"What did you do to me?" he asks, incriminatingly, even with his feet positioned as if he was ready to throw down a fight.

"Your wish, was it not?" you say, tone stating as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You're no longer a psychic, just a simple, average, and mostly un-unique boy from a small city school."

"Aren't you happy, Saiki?" you say, the smile in your face soon showing in your voice.

to be continued...

Part 2

[starberry-cupcake]

I have made up from last time that was about only one chapter, this time we have 5 in a row. We finished act one, fam!

previously, in harrowbean the ninth:

this happened

I want to also thank you for all your nice comments and replies, I read every single one, I promise ♥

ch. 7 to 11 summarized terribly, here we go:

it's time to cross the river

difficult task to perform

as someone who lives literally surrounded by rivers, in every direction, I can relate

my rivers don't carry ghouls though, as far as I know

I mean, there are ghost and cryptid legends, but not ghouls that stick to the windshield of a spaceship like bugs

like these ones do

so harrow and yandere twin aren't doing fantastic

yandere twin loses it in like the first 2 seconds

harrow sees the ghosts of all the ninth kids who died for her to be alive

there's water also, but that part sounds very relaxing, actually

getting covered by water but not needing to breath

I'd be there forever tbh

but we can't, because ghoulies

mercygirl is still doing sound effects like kronk

btw we're changing her name to mercygirl because it's what I've been calling her now

I have been told by a number of you that mercygirl is your camilla so I apologize for disrespecting your blorbina

I might do it again, if the situation arises, though

mercygirl is piloting the ship and emperor the fool is just chillin' until he realizes harrow is walking about and doing theorems, which they didn't think she'd be in a state to do, so they didn't tell her not to do it

these people half-assing plans, who would have thought

mercygirl calls the emperor john

emperor johnnyboy tries telling harrow to come back from her state because she's in too deep and it's becoming dangerous

mercygirl stars talking about the death of cassiopeia (another name that's easy to remember)

says cassiopeia had a ceramics collection, which makes her worthy of all my respect

harrow was thinking "five", idk what it's about

next thing we know, we're back to our gideonless retelling of gideon

in this version, teacher explains things

he says the house was inhabited previously by "ten normal human beings of the Resurrection, though half were blessed already with necromantic gifts"

I'm tired of MATH

he says they left blueprints, he tells them about the Sleeper, he tells them how not to awaken it, he tells them about the trap door, he tells them what's under the trap door, he asks them to work together...

you know what this is like

it's like reading gideon was entering a new game and skipping every tutorial they give you

and reading this is like clicking every NPC's info and reading all that they say

ANYWAY, here is where ortus 1...

wait, this is going to be confusing

I want to call ortus from the ninth "ortus 1" and the new guy "ortus 2"

because ninth ortus was the first to show up

but new ortus is actually older and also is ortus the first

we're gonna go with ortus and lyctor!ortus, for now

so, as I was saying, this is were ortus starts becoming much more insistent in these "flashbacks" about him not being the right choice

which, he's not wrong

we know he's not wrong

and harrow is saying stuff like "unless you can summon matthias nonius" (matthias nonius is becoming a recurrent thing, let's remember harrow compared gideon to him at one point)

and ortus goes "I don't understand why you chose me" to which harrow says "there was nobody else" and ortus exasperatedly says "you never did posses an imagination"

VERY IMPORTANT THING

a skeleton turns around when they're walking and says "is this how it happens?"

we'll come back to that shortly

REMEMBER IT

(I know you all remember it, you've read this already, just act like I'm dora the explorer and play along)

next chapter starts in not!dulcinea's funeral

I'm sad I used the oliver queen grave meme already, I can't use it again to express my feelings

I'm gonna use the steel magnolias scene where they laugh at the funeral instead

so, we are introduced to the famous augustine who's name I will remember

there's some conversation about first and second generations and about not!dulcinea being chosen, and Emperor Johnny Bravo says "we were all there to meet her, all sixteen of us"

MORE MATH

I guess she was the last one of these, but maybe we knew that already, I feel we knew that already

apparently, not!dulcinea was the most reluctant to slurp her cavalier, but that didn't stop any of them, not even her, so

Emperor Johnny Quest says "for god's sake" and harrow thinks "the god who became a man and yet still invoked himself, apparently"

when she's right, she's right

that's better commentary than I could make

I have to respect augustine a little bit because he asked "which one of the kiddies did her in?" and I thought that was hilarious

he is called the saint of patience, which makes my previous comment about them being named via sarcasm very correct

it's like captain planet or the power rangers but chosen as funnily as possible

they start summoning lyctor!ortus by saying that he's interested in "you-know-what", which is both suspicious and childish and the vibes of these lyctors are all over the place

augustine thinks something's wrong, which is an understatement at this point, but ok

lyctor!ortus comes in as if summoned by the gossip and harrow calls him "the next terrible part of your life" which is saying something

lyctor!ortus comes with news of the seventh beast or whatnot that's trailing them

harrow bleeds from her ears and smashes her head on the next available surface to pass out

the mood

who could blame her

this lyctor job is terrible

it's like the end of drop dead gorgeous and harrow is kristen dunst

I'm not explaining that, in case you haven't watched a classic

we are back to the "flashbacks" and we've got a special appearance from the fifth

*studio audience claps and cheers*

they say they prefer to look into books than going downstairs, which is something one would consider if one had known what the fuck was downstairs from the start

abigail also does sound effects like mercygirl, it's catching on

abigail finds a piece of a recipe note that mentions an M and a Nigella

still no G&P

we know nigella is the cav of cassiopeia, the ceramics collector

I remember nigella's name because of the cook, which makes it funnier that it's a recipe

M could be mercygirl

abigail also gives harrow a note

abigail says that she'd like to summon the ghost of a lyctor but she's not sure how that could work or where they go when they die

ortus, magnus and abigail, in this gideonless version, are a polycule

I am convinced of that

while they're talking, magnus says "is this really how it happens?"

REMEMBER I SAID WE'D BRING THAT BACK

IT'S BACK

abigail starts telling harrow that she's got the energy of a lot of dead kids in her and harrow storms out

harrow gets angry when ortus calmly agrees about things and she doesn't want to look into why

I WONDER WHY THAT IS

harrow looks at abby's note again and now there's text on it

it's a longer version of the note she found before

it's a rant

it mentions dead eggs, implantation, some guy being sent after the OP, said guy taking pity on OP

OP is mad about all of this and doesn't use punctuation

what ortus reads isn't what harrow reads, once again

NOW THIS BIT

"ortus, I need a cavalier with a backbone" "You always did and I am glad, I think, that I never became that cavalier"

the gideon points keep adding up

harrow then goes to sleep and is like this

final thing in act I, in chapter 11, is harrowbean stabbing not!dulcinea again, which

always make sure, it's like resident evil in here

just in case, let's stab her a bunch of times

so, are these "flashbacks" happening in real time whenever harrow isn't conscious?

is it her trying to remember what actually happened?

or is it her trying to hide it?

was there actually a longer period of time between the defeat of not!dulcinea and the emperor Jon Arbuckle coming to pick them up?

a period of time in which harrow learned things that made her write those letters?

and in which something happened regarding gideon?

is the note of the implantation also related?

why was gideon born in space?

of course I'm not asking you, please don't spoil anything, I'm just asking the void of desperation and chaos right now

we'll see if any of this gets answered soon or if I just get more questions

also, guess who wasn't mentioned

see you on the next one!! I'll try to get back to the awesome replies I've been getting soon ♥

[panelshowsource]

my IMMEDIATE thought is judi love, right?? her and roisin 1000% not even one show each, A SHOW WITH THEM TOGETHER 😍 and it's called JUDI & ROISIN'S DOUBLE DATES 😍

hahahaha absolutely! do you remember the stationary shop / pun guessing task that tim vine did on taskmaster s6? i always thought victoria would have enjoyed every single thing about that, just my intuition...

hahahaha this is so cute! they got married not to terribly long ago, so no worries. don't you love how sweetly they speak about each other 🥹 you know, when i saw richard at his last book signing in new york, he told a quick story about how ingrid had recently written for a doctor who publication and that she is super engrossed in & proud of the doctor who world 🥹🥹🥹 (made me so happy!!! bc i'm also a massive dw fan (i make those gifs on my main!) 🥹)

this is my modest richard and ingrid tag 🥹 i hope to flesh it out even more over time hehe

yes i've been listening to these!! they keep teasing a nish kumar one coming up that is supposed to be very special in some way?

anyways the richard osman one was very sweet because there was tons of kitten talk (LOVE) and you can tell how much richard adores david — which means he had a lot of fun teasing him hahaha that's what makes richard such a good podcast guest: he's such a comedy fan!

also enjoyed the eps with ivo and sam campbell, and i'm gonna listen to at least ed gamble, rose matafeo, and amy gledhill this weekend!

are you guys liking it??

i've def seen it (i saw the comedy blogs advertising the pilot) but i'm gonna be sooo honest and say i haven't had time to give it a listen yet TT have you?? i'm obsessed with both of them and will DEF listen to it this week! i'll post my thoughts :)

honestly, i think there are more comedy writers and comedy actors than proper comedians that i would like to read bios of. simon pegg comes to mind first! i also think it would be fascinating to read a kind of day-by-day journal of a proper circuit comedian, someone who could humorously and truthfully document the lifestyle. did you have someone in mind who hasn't written one?

as for books that are already published, i really want to read bonkers by jen saunders as well as richard e grant's semi-new autobiography (i'm worried it's going to be exceptionally sad since he'll always be dealing with the passing of his wife and he's very open about grief 🥺), so hopefully i get around to those before too long!

i haven't, tbh i never watched miranda, not going out, or even call the midwife — so even though i've obviouslyyy seen her around, sometimes on panel shows, and absolutely acknowledge how big she was/is, i don't carry enough nostalgia to read her whole bio. THAT SAID, i agree she was so so touching on graham norton and i think her stories both about her health and about finding love were SO LOVELY 💜 but if you tell me it's a must read then i'll definitely check it out!

and for anyone who's interested i added the audiobook to my drive :)

okay this scared me HAHAHA because as much as that is obviously not true if one uses a single modicum of common sense i am so easily fooled—

anyways it was a sweet episode! i don't really listen to that show but i was hoping to hear more about joe's particular approach to parenting, and even though he is clearly very private it was endearing. i love how much he loves birmingham (as someone who doesn't really have a hometown it's something i'm always fascinated by and envious of in others), and he really put his foot down about his sexuality! he was like "bi is bi, pan is pan, it's on you if you wanted to call me gay anyways" and PERIOD KING !! anyways, super happy for him. i have a feeling he won't post very much about it or even talk much about it in general, but i selfishly hope he does 🥹

it was a cute episode!! highlights for me include rob being extremely new to the concept of kimchi, rob claiming he doesn't understand why people care so much about seasoning (my fellow americans, have fun with that one), and rob roasting steve coogan lmaooo also i never get sick of the alan bennett impression i love how it's almost tom courtenay it's hilarious to me

i've loved a lot of the recent eps, especially the ones with matthew macfadyen and richard e grant (funniest man alive)! and i watched the gordon ramsay episode like 5 times, it was sooo interesting and soooooo sweet to hear about his relationship with angela!

one thing i really like about this show — besides how awesome angela is — is that nick asks the genuine questions someone who isn't big into cooking would ask. like, when they were eating the rib eye, he was like, "if someone wanted to make this at home, what would they ask the butcher for? is this a specific cut of meat?" and even though it's like 'lol yeah nick...rib eye...' people who aren't familiar with cooking beef wouldn't have known that! he asks about cuts, measurements, cooking times, that sort of thing in a way that feels genuine and curious, which i appreciate (as someone who doesn't cook a lot lmao)

for sure!

hello anon! these are always posted on reddit every single night that they air, i recommend sending a polite "hello would you kindly add me to the sub?" message (you don't need to get fancier or more specific than that; they have to keep the sub private for obvious reasons so no need to feel intimidated) to r/TV_NCA so you can snag those links each week

sure anon i'll work on that for you this weekend xx

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