#i just did and almost gave myself a fucking heart attack

[ceesimz]

Our Sun Is Setting

TW: mentions of homophobia and grief for a parent. It's quite a heavy fic, please keep that in mind.

"I told my Mami about you today."

You didn't think it was possible for a relatively normal, short sentence over the phone to make you feel sick to the pit of your stomach, but it did.

"Oh." That was all you managed.

Your mind was in overdrive as you stood in the middle of the grocery store, buying ingredients for the dinner you were preparing for later that evening when Alexia was going to come over. Any other person would have reacted better, wouldn't have been frozen to the tiles of the shop in the middle of the breakfast aisle, wouldn't have been on the brink of a panic attack from a simple statement.

"She was very happy. And she would like to meet you soon, whenever you like."

Another punch to the gut.

"She also teased me for talking about you so much. I couldn't stop myself." Alexia paired her words with a shy laugh.

The sound of it grounded you slightly as you moved out of the way of an old couple walking in your direction, but your head was still being insistently ruthless as you wandered mindlessly through the rest of the shop. Alexia was still talking over the line, seemingly not noticing your silence, but you couldn't work out what she was saying due to the unbearable ringing in your ears.

You were in shock.

"Are you still there?"

"Y-yeah, sorry. I think the signal went a bit weird, I didn't catch much of what you said." You reply in a shaking voice.

On the other side of the phone, Alexia frowns ever so slightly - she can almost sense something is wrong, but she can't quite figure out what or why. She hopes that when she sees you later, you are perhaps feeling better or if not, at least she's there for you.

"Okay cariño, would it be better if I left you to your shop?" She suggests, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel of her car where she was parked outside of the training complex before an afternoon training session.

"Yeah, probably. Sorry, I'll see you later."

And with that, you hung up.

As you went to slide your phone into your pocket with your shaking hands, you missed, causing it to clatter heavily against the tiles. It earned a few stares from the people around you, only intensifying the jittery dread that surged through you. Pins and needles encapsulated your body as you crouched down to pick up your now-smashed phone, but currently that was the last thing on your mind.

Alexia's statements circled relentlessly around your head - to literally anybody else in the world, hearing those words from someone they had were seeing would be enamouring and seen as a key, heart-warming milestone. But to you, it opened up a dark spot in your mind that you had shunned to the side for some amount of time. It seemed now was the right moment for that unidentifiable problem to break free from its shackles and make itself known, and you were terrified of what those repercussions would be.

You carried out the rest of your shop on autopilot, shoving a handful of notes into the cashier's hand before rushing out without a clue of how much you just gave them. For all you know, you could have massively overpaid them or robbed them in broad daylight. You were so out of touch with the world right now.

So much so, that you were unlocking the door to your apartment before you realised. How long did it take you to get home? Did your phone still work? What time is it? Did you walk, get a taxi, catch the bus, how did you get here? What did you even buy at the shop? Why won't this fucking door open-

A neighbour walked past hastily as you barged a shoulder against the door and almost crashed through it as it finally opened. You sent them an apologetic smile, though there was no doubt in your mind it was more of a manic and unnerving look than anything else, before slamming it shut behind you. The icing on the cake to this whole thing was the fact that the bottom of your shopping bag split open, scattering your groceries across the floor of the entryway. At least now you could see what you had bought.

Whether your legs failed you and buckled or you put yourself on the ground, you kneeled on the floor and gathered everything into your arms to transport it to the kitchen. It was a struggle, your trembling arms barely having the strength to hold themselves up, but you managed to dump your belongings on the kitchen side. Once you'd done that, you rested heavily against the counter, desperately trying to replenish the oxygen that had been stolen from your lungs some point along the way to this moment here.

What the fuck do you do now?

You turned to lean back against the counter and slowly slid down to the ground until you were sat on the floor, head back against the cupboard. There were too many conflicting thoughts and emotions rushing through you that all you could do was sit and stare. Feeling nothing but everything at the same time, thinking nothing but everything all at once.

Seeing Alexia tonight might tip you over the edge. You hope it doesn't end that way. You hope that her presence eases you. You hope she saves you from falling, sinking, spiralling into an irrevocable state of mind, whether she recognises that she's doing it or not. You hope, hope, hope.

Time seems to be a temporary concept for today, because before you've even had the chance to start preparing dinner for tonight, Alexia is at your door. Her voice calls out from behind it, asking if you're in there and if you're okay, because you've zoned out again. You're on the sofa, your cross-body purse still hanging off your shoulder, your jacket still zipped up to your chin, your shoes still on. Your groceries are still strewn on the kitchen counter, and the torn bag is still in the entry way.

"Amor, are you in there? Let me in." Alexia calls out, her voice tainted with concern.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm coming!" You jump up, kick your shoes off, throw your bag onto the small dining table, and open the door. She visibly deflates at the sight of you, her tense shoulders dropping, but her face contorts at your attire.

"Why do you have your chaqueta on?" She asks, and you're beyond grateful to hear it's said in an amused tone.

"Bit cold s'all. Come in." You're not cold. You live in Barcelona, and it's the middle of the spring.

You step to the side and she walks in with a tiny smile on her face. She's glad to be here, you realise. She seems to be in a light and happy mood, carrying no extra stress or other burdens, and, rather selfishly, you're glad.

"How was training?"

You plaster a smile on your face as she takes her shoes off and drops her bag beside them, turning to you and opening her arms. You walk into them with no hesitation, but the feeling isn't as relieving as you desired it to be.

"It was good. I did a amazing free-kick, I will show you the video." Alexia beams, and that does warm your heart somewhat. Her passion for her work, her career, her life, was forever an invigorating thing to witness. It's a shame you weren't in the right mood to appreciate it.

"That's great, Ale." You smile genuinely up at her, more than happy to return the soft kiss she offers.

It momentarily calms and heals a small part of you you'd been hoping she would subconsciously fix, but it wasn't enough and you recognised that straight away. You'd get on your knees, beg, and pray to any higher power that would listen to you just so you'd feel okay for one more day. Except, who do you pray to when you don't believe in God?

"What's that?" She points to the white plastic bag from earlier.

"Oh, the bag for the groceries ripped as soon as I walked in. Must have forgotten to pick it up." You shrug it off, wishing for her attention to be elsewhere for the time being. "I haven't started dinner yet, sorry."

"That's okay." She smiles, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly and kissing your cheek. "How was your day?"

Tough question.

"It was alright, haven't done much." You brush it off, taking her hand and leading her to the kitchen... where the whole area was still a state.

"Oh, what happened here?" Alexia frowns.

If it was just a few items, she wouldn't be so puzzled, but when a good portion of the food left out was fridge and freezer food? Strange.

"I... I, when the bag ripped before, a jar smashed by the door and, uh... I took a while cleaning it and forgot to put the rest of the stuff away." You ramble unusually quickly. It was a blatant lie, but she didn't need to know that.

Except, Alexia was an incredibly attentive person, and she knew straight away that something was amiss. The first sign was that, in her intelligent mind, she knew that theoretically if a jar filled were to smash by the front door, the white bag from earlier would have been covered in its contents - but that wasn't the case. The second sign: whenever you cleaned your apartment, you used a very strong smelling citrus scented spray - she often complained about it and nagged you to get one that smelt nicer. Your apartment didn't smell uncomfortably citrusy right now. Funny observation, sure, but these two pieces of seemingly inconspicuous evidence gave away the fact you weren't right. Oh, and your strange behaviour showcased on the phone earlier and a few moments ago didn't help your case either.

But, she chose not to pressure you about it yet. She wanted to wait until you perhaps opened up to her some point this evening. However, that didn't entirely stop her from speaking up.

"Ven aquí, amor." Alexia demands calmly, reaching a hand out to you. Suppressing a sigh, you take it, and she looks down at you with a pressing stare. "Answer me honestly. Are you okay?"

No.

"Yes, I'm okay. I'm fine, Ale, I am." You try to reassure her, squeezing her hand and smiling up at her.

"You promise?" Alexia raises her eyebrows and offers her pinky for you to seal your, rather untruthful, truth. "It's okay if something isn't right."

Pinky promises, as childish as they may come across to some, were never to be broken. Since the start of your relationship, they had been a thing that had been utilised by the both of you to ensure you are telling the truth. Alexia had broken one of her promises she had made to you before in the past, so why couldn't you do one in return? It's only fair, right? Relationships were meant to be equal after all.

"Promise." You smile again and raise your other hand to lock fingers with her. She smiles, though you can see she's not convinced, but nevertheless she kisses your knuckle.

"Can I help you cook?"

"I'm meant to be cooking for you. And you are a bit of a control freak in the kitchen." You tease, desperately trying to steer the night away from the morose direction it could go down, and instead towards the light-hearted, content way you so needed.

"I think I am just a control freak in general." She smirks at you before turning to put away the disregarded shopping. You would also happily accept that direction too, you supposed. "Venga, I am so hungry, I skipped lunch at training for a meeting and now I regret it."

To your relief, you both make peaceful conversation once you've told her what you planned on cooking, and it's so peacefully domestic as you do your individual tasks beside each other. Every so often, Alexia will joke and bump her hip into yours as you giggle, and this version of your girlfriend is exactly what you needed. For a moment, you feel the cloud over your head slither away, until the topic you wanted to avoid came up.

"So, what do you think of me telling my Mami about us? You never gave me a response on call earlier."

You freeze momentarily, Alexia thankfully not noticing from the corner of her eye. With a subtle clearing of your throat, you continue cutting up the chilli peppers on the board in front of you, but your now shaking hands pose as a slight kitchen hazard considering the sharp knife you were wielding.

"I, yeah, it's nice. Nice that you, um... did that." You stutter out anxiously, nausea settling cruelly in the pit of your stomach. Alexia takes in your reaction and laughs under her breath, turning briefly to leave a kiss on your forehead.

"No need to be nervous, amor. We have been together for many months now, it was due to happen soon. And M-"

"Ow- fuck!" You gasp sharply, dropping the knife immediately and cradling your hand as blood began dripping from the middle joint of your index finger.

"Woah, amor, what happened?" Alexia winces at the sight, grabbing a few squares of kitchen paper and pressing it against your cut.

"I- my hand slipped and I obviously cut myself." You grimace, eyes tightly shut to rid yourself of the sight. "It burns too, fuck."

Alexia knew you didn't handle blood too well, so she turned you away from the scene and wrapped one arm around your back, rubbing up and down comfortingly whilst she still applied pressure to the cut.

"It's okay, it's okay, it hurts more because of the chilli. Take some breaths, vale?" You nod hastily, not really realising your cheeks had puffed out as you held your breath. Alexia watches your face closely, eyes still closed as you took deep breaths to calm yourself. "You're doing good, bebita. Keep doing that, so good. Let's relax a bit, hm? We should sit down in case you get lightheaded."

The last sentence is her thinking out loud as she started guiding you towards one of the chairs at the dining table. Resting one elbow on the table whilst Alexia continued to hold your wounded hand, you lay your forehead against your uninjured hand as Alexia crouched beside you. Your joined hands lay in your lap as you calmed down, or at least tried to.

To Alexia, it would appear that you were just mentally recovering from the shock of the incident. But actually, you were trying to dispel the unsuspected horror that filled you to the brim at Alexia's earlier reminder.

I told my Mami about you today. She wants to meet you.

That line inevitably meant you had to tell your family too. Except, you couldn't. There was no way you would, no way you could, not without facing realities you had pressed down far into unreachable and forgettable depths of your mind. It was all too much, it was simply not a possibility for you. You knew what it would lead to, and you weren't ready for that.

For the past months you'd been with Alexia and the time you spent getting to know her before that, you had mostly lived in a bubble that dissociated you from the broken, cracked, ruined, utterly destroyed parts of your brain. It had been perfect so far, and you'd be fucking damned to leave that bubble now. But perhaps it was too late and the damage had been done long before Alexia said what she said earlier, maybe that darkness just needed a catalyst before it submerged you in its wake.

"Amor? Hey, come back." One of Alexia's hands lightly patted your cheek to bring you back into the room. "You scared me there. Your breathing got really bad and you were in a... a weird daze. I was talking but you weren't reacting or anything. Are you back now?"

You nodded wordlessly at her, still not entirely taking in what she was saying.

"The blood... freaked me out." You rasp breathlessly, shaking your head a little to rid the glaze over your vision.

"That's okay. Do you feel a little dizzy? I can get you something to help that. Clear your head maybe." You nod again, and she gently lets go of your hand. Cold shivers immediately burst through at the lost contact, but you had to get over yourself and get used to it.

Cautiously, you take the tissue off of your hand and inspect the damage. It doesn't seem deep enough for stitches, which instantly fills you with relief. If you weren't already in a state of intense dismay already, a trip to the hospital would cause a hurricane of emotions that left a lasting imprint on everything and everyone around.

"Here, some apple juice. To get your blood sugar back." Alexia places a mug of apple juice in front of you and notices your now bare hand. "Oof, amor, that looks painful. I'm not sure if that may need a doct-"

"No! No doctors, no hospital. It doesn't need stitches, it's fine." You rush out, eyes wide in what Alexia guesses is fear as you look down at where she's crouched again. "Please, no hospital. It just needs to be cleaned and wrapped up."

"Okay, if you are sure." Alexia replies, nudging the cup closer to you. "Drink that and I will get the first aid kit."

You do as she says, drinking the half-empty cup of apple juice whilst she searches through the kitchen for the green box of medical supplies. Her eyes hardly leave your slumped form at the table, filled with worry for you. Things weren't adding up now, it was obvious, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could ignore it.

A part of her feels afraid to push you; emotionally she wants the best for you and if subtly, or not so subtly, urging you to do that works then she'll do it, but intellectually she senses a deep, internalised issue that could rip through you if handled incorrectly. It's not up to her to cause that. So she asks a question that's so layered it flattens all remaining atmosphere in the room.

"Cariño, how do you feel now?" She pretends to busy herself with organising the already packed box of medical necessities you kept.

"Better." Phyiscally true, but mentally wrong.

"Why don't we order something for dinner instead?"

As if you weren't filled with disconcertion already, that suggestion signs, seals, and stamps the envelope set to be sent to the fucking psyche ward for your admission. Were you so inadequate now that you couldn't even cook a simple meal? Apparently so.

"O-Okay."

Alexia frowns and comes back over with alcohol wipes, antiseptic cream, and a box of plasters, placing her items on the table and gently tapping your chin to get you to look up at her.

"I love you, you know that?"

The words fell from her lips before she could stop them. Alexia maybe wasn't the most emotionally helpful person ever but she sure did try. She thought her saying that would comfort at least a small part of you, but she couldn't be more wrong. It planted the seed of an unforgivable idea in your head.

The realisation of what you had to do poured over you like cold water, washing away every ounce of the little remaining hope and positivity you had. A feeling akin to mourning settled in your heart, accompanied by the debilitating weight of this twisted entity in your mind seeping into your bones. Your body strained under the heaviness of it all, unable to capacitate for the burden of living life like this, only confirming that the thing you must do was your only solution. Your lower lip quivered as the thought consumed you, the devil in your head chanting it over and over and over and o-

"I do know." Your lips tug into a smile but your throat bobs to conceal the sobs bubbling at the surface. "I know that. I love you too."

For the remaining time you had with her, you would make sure she knew that too.

"Let's get you cleaned up, hm?"

It's silent between you both as she delicately cleans the wound before applying cream and wrapping it up in bandages. It's silent as she leads you to the sofa, silent as she ordered your meal for you from one of the common takeaways you always got together. It's silent as you wait for it to come. It's less silent when Alexia turns on Netflix and opts for a new TV show for you both to watch together. It's still fairly silent even as you sit beside her, back stiff and straight beside the woman whose heart you were soon to break.

Alexia has never loathed quietness more than she does right now. It was an occurrence she valued at any other point in her life; watching football, reading, studying a game, relaxing in a post-match bath, going on a solitary walk to gain some peace of mind. But here, in this moment beside you, her skin crawls at the unbearable stillness of the room. Sure, she did enjoy silence with you too, but it felt like the unavoidable elephant in the room was stomping on her heart with every beat of her heart. There was a hidden agenda in the belly of the beast attacking her, and for some reason it felt like she was running out of time to put out the fire.

Her spiralling was interrupted when the buzzer of your apartment rang through the room, letting you know there was someone outside of the apartment complex without a fob to enter the building. Alexia reluctantly gets up from the sofa to let them in and hovers by the door to wait for the delivery driver to find your flat. She keeps her eyes on you, subtly watching you attentively, but even if she stood face-to-face with you, noses touching and breaths mingling, you wouldn't have a clue she was there. Your senses were incredibly warped and you were so far detached from reality, it felt like you and Alexia were two worlds apart.

What's at stake right now is something that's much bigger than the both of you. The dynamic around you may as well have a 'fragile: handle with care' sticker slapped on it, except, even that wouldn't have stopped the hands of the puppets controlling the world from acting so cruelly. You'd taken constant blows for quite some time now with no respite. Just as you started to recover from one punch, another would come to hit you square in the face.

"Hey." Alexia lightly knocks on your forehead with her knuckle. Every concerned glance from the woman in front of you felt like a jab at your body, slowly working you down until you gave in. "You are here, but you are not here."

You blink gormlessly up at her, your shoulders lifting in a careless shrug before you took back control of your mind.

"Food's here?" You force a smile, taking the paper bag from her hand and walking on shaking legs to the kitchen. You get plates and cutlery out, dishing up your meals before joining Alexia back on the couch, the taller woman now the one seemingly stuck in her head. "Ale, your meal."

"Ah, thank you." She leans in to quickly kiss your cheek when you sit beside her again.

The blonde woman has one more trick up her sleeve to try and bring you out of your shell, and it's one she hardly ever played.

Immediately, she begins to babble on about her day and her teammates and her family and whatever new antics Mapi and the youngsters had got up to, going abnormally overboard with the amount of anecdotes she was spewing out. Everybody knew Alexia was not a talkative person, and she only ever acted like this when she was in a rare giddy mood. And that really was rare.

The Alexia on display so far tonight was not in a giddy mood. She was happy, of course she was, but factor in the concern she'd shown for you tonight and the giddiness she had not portrayed at all even recently, something was off. It threw you completely off-kilter, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why she was doing this.

"I'll tell my Dad about us tomorrow." You blurted out, interrupting another of her rambles. It's kind of the truth, not all of it, and it's not the biggest decision you've made for yourself tonight, but you owed her something at least for putting up with you.

"Que?" She frowns. Out of all things she'd expected you to say tonight, that wasn't one of them.

"You're talking a lot because you want to know why I'm acting weird. It's because I'm thinking about telling my Dad about us, I'm scared to do it but you told Eli so I'll tell my Dad." You explained, pushing your food around your plate as Alexia processes your words for a moment.

"You don't have to do that if you don't want to. I don't mind, I know things haven't been... haven't been great between you both since your Mu-"

"Okay, but he's still my Dad." You cut her off again. You're not in the mood to discuss what she was about to bring up.

"You don't owe him anything, amor. Sure, he's your Dad, but you said it yourself only a few weeks ago; he's an idiot. No one should treat their child the way he's treated you after they've just lost their Mami."

There. She said it anyway.

"Alexia, I know you're just trying to stick up for me, but please don't go there. This has nothing to do with my Mum." Another partial lie.

The subconscious, realistic part of you knows every issue you've had in the last two years has everything to do with... her. But right now, the impulsive side that has been at the forefront of your mind ever since it happened wants to blame everything on the world around you and not your flaws that you've ignored all this time. Anyone could see that your refusal to sit with your grief and just feel was your Achilles' heel.

"Okay. I'm sorry for mentioning it. But I am absolutely on your side, amor, I'm always on your side. So if you want to tell your Dad, tell him. If you want me there next to you or if you want me out of the country whilst you do it, then I'll do it. I will do whatever you want me to." Alexia tells you, her voice pleading as earnest swirled around the eyes that bore down into you.

Well, you thought, that's good to know.

"Thank you." You smile ever so slightly, dropping your fork and placing a hand on her leg. You squeeze her knee three times, one more chance for her to understand the love you held for her.

"De nada, amor. Now eat up, please."

The pair of you spent the rest of the evening delicately dancing around the untamed elephant from earlier whose patience was wearing thin at the prospect of going entirely avoided for the night. Conversation topics were kept light, finally giving you a brief reprieve from the onslaught of your mind, and Alexia kept her arms tight as they wrapped around you. It was as if with each breath you let out or with each twitch of your body, she held on tighter and tighter, every hint of movement from you a reminder of your presence and how much she ineffably adored you.

Yet, the sun began to set, indicating that it was almost time for Alexia to leave for the night. She had to get up early tomorrow whilst you had the day off, and initially Alexia always agreed that when this was the case, you should sleep separately so that you could rest. However, as she collected her bag and slipped on her shoes, she kept her movements purposely slow to delay her departure. The last thing she wanted to do was leave you alone.

"Are you sure you will be okay tonight?" Alexia sighs, a reluctant hand on the door handle.

"I'll be okay." You answer simply, hesitating for a moment to decide on your goodbye gesture, before settling for a lone kiss on the cheek.

"Call me, immediately, if that changes. If you wake up in the night and need me, I will be straight here. If you call me in the middle of training, I will be straight here. Please. Don't suffer on your own."

Oh Alexia. If only you weren't so late.

"Everything will be okay, Ale." You tell her, desperately trying to disguise the emotion threatening to break through. "Te veo pronto, sí?"

"Sí. I love you." Alexia smiles, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead, then opening the door.

"I know." Is all you can say now to that declaration. And fuck, if Alexia hadn't felt so uneasy in her life after that.

Somehow, you managed to sleep that night. Maybe it was your body allowing you to build up all the strength you need for the day ahead, because your life was about to be irreversibly changed. And the worst was yet to come.

"Hi Dad." You murmur quietly from your place in the corner of your sofa, legs tucked underneath you as you pitifully hold onto a cushion for comfort.

"Well, it's been a while since I've heard from you." The man on the other side of the phone chuckles spitefully. "Remembered who I was again?"

"Hm. How have you been?" The best way to deal with such a man was to ignore his behaviour, in the hopes he dropped the act when you didn't give a reaction. Perhaps you underestimated him.

"That's a loaded question, you know that. It's all everyone asks nowadays and I'm fucking sick of it." He grumbled, and for the first time in a while it sounded like his anger wasn't directed at you.

"I do know that." You stated.

"So why ask then? Still as dense as ever, I see."

Okay, well, clearly you judged him too soon.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing." You mumble insecurely, a frown settling on your face as you try to hold back the emotions you knew would spill out sooner rather than later.

"Don't lie to me." He snapped through gritted teeth. "You couldn't give a shit about me if your life depended on it. Be honest and tell me what you want, I have better things to do than talk to you."

"I... I have a girlfriend, Dad. Here in Barcelona, I've met someone." You reveal with a hint of a smile on your face.

All morning, you'd been in over your head on whether to tell him about Alexia. Part of you thought it was futile since you had already decided on your future with her, or rather, the lack thereof. But the naïve and childish part of you painfully thought he could be happy. That wasn't a concept this man had understood as of late, so it was a wonder why you'd thought he'd be happy for you. Especially given his latest behaviour, and his long-standing opinion on your sexuality. If only your Mother was here.

"Wow. Because I couldn't give you the life you want after your Mum left-" he could never say the true reason for her absence out loud, "-you look for it elsewhere? What did I tell you about doing that? A home can't be a person, kiddo, you need to stop looking for that. Your Mother wasn't home, I'm not home, this new 'girlfriend' isn't home, a person cannot be a fucking home! You're just desperate to fill in the love that's absent in the death of your Mother. Get a fucking grip of yourself and get over it, this 'girlfriend' business. You know your Mum would never have stood for this."

Silence.

Of all the words in the world, across all languages and cultures, over all periods of time, there was only one description to be used of how you felt right now. In your little flat in the heart of Barcelona, cowering in the corner of the couch, you felt suffocated. Any semblance of clarity, peace, hope, love - suffocated, by the words of your father, by the events that had changed you for the worse throughout your life, by the burden of simply just living.

Except, the words 'living' and 'simply' could never be used in the same sentence, because that wasn't a possibility. Every aspect of human nature wasn't simple, that's the beauty in it. The thousands of tiny mechanical functions in your body that allow you to breathe, the hundreds of muscles exerting themselves daily for one small step, the twitches and spasms of nerve endings to feel just a little alive. And despite it only requiring thirteen miniscule muscles to smile compared to forty-seven to frown, the latter felt so much easier. The weight of a smile had never seemed so damning, so suffocating.

The promise of life was a unique one, that's common knowledge and yes, life is beautiful, but any glorification of the struggle of living was inefficacious, nothing could extinguish the flame of the fire inside of your mind that was already uncontrollably burning through your self-preservation. No promise of light one day shining in your world again was worth it; you were merely a shadow of the people you loved.

"Okay Dad." You choke out. Even uttering one word was such a fucking exhausting challenge. "I... I planned on breaking up with her anyway. I think I want to come home."

You expected the feeling of verbalising your plans to be freeing, but the gravity of what you were going to do grounded you so humbly it almost almost stopped your heart entirely.

"Wow, I mean, if I had known that you would listen to my opinion and follow my advice so quick, I would have given it more often." He laughed maliciously, his way of celebrating your fall from grace.

"Can I come home?" You can't stop yourself in time from asking that question in such a begging tone. Another victory for him.

"I don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart. If you're that desperate, maybe stay with your grandparents. Perhaps they'll want you." He sighed as he said it as if he was in a rush, acting like speaking to his daughter was such a chore. "Listen kiddo, you done now? I've gotta go."

"Yep, I'm done. Can I see you if I come home?" The question was paired with a hasty swipe away of tears as if the man hundreds of miles away could see them.

"Oh honey. You fascinate me. You're at danger of almost being interesting now, you know that?" He laughed once more at his own words before hanging up.

Silence again. Such a plaguing thing.

The weight of the conversation you just had collapsed down on you, a whirlwind of emotions surging through you as a result of it. Each beat of your heart served as a reminder of every word spat at you from the man you once thought held all the love you had to give, the thump against your chest echoing his disappointment and distaste for you. A daughter's love for their father was undoubtedly one of the most dangerous things to themselves, proving that point yourself as you mentally scrambled to find a way to mend the fractured bond, yet each time coming up empty, feeling powerless and minute in the face of your father's disappointment. Every response from that man carved deep wounds of guilt and regret into every crevice of your mind.

Behind a facade of stoicism, a torrent of emotions fulminated throughout your body - a spiteful mix of every insecurity, every doubt, every shattered dream, it all coming together to form the final piece of the puzzle that was needed to make the decision to break out of your life. There was no other choice.

Outwardly, there wasn't a hint of such breakage shown anywhere on your body. And that's how it had to be, that's how you had to be. Completely numb to it all until you had escaped this turmoil.

By 2pm, everything was different.

Flight booked. Every suitcase you owned bursting at the seams, waiting by the door. Apartment tenancy ripped up. Your resignation handed in to your work. Every bit of furniture, every little trinket, all of it ready to be left behind. Despite it all, the most heartbreaking symbol of your new start, was the cardboard box of Alexia's belongings sat in the passenger seat of your car as you drove, waiting to be dropped off discreetly outside her door.

Your life was the perfect image to sum up how quick things can change. Twenty-four hours ago, you were walking to the local supermarket to pick up the stuff to make a perfect meal for you and your girlfriend to eat and have a quiet, relaxed evening together. Now? You were driving to said girlfriend's apartment, equipped with the words to tear your lives apart.

Oh, how things change.

In the blink of an eye, you were parked up outside her apartment building. You had the key to her apartment in your hand and the code to enter the complex memorised for one more use. You failed to notice her car parked in her usual space as you walked through the car park. The heaviness of the box was nothing compared to the heaviness in your chest of what you were about to do.

Ears ringing, eyes blurred with unshed tears, throat burning and constricted, your bones aching under the weight of purely just existing, all of it immensely overwhelming. But you were numb still. Numb and out of tune with your feelings, because you had to be. Otherwise, all of this couldn't happen. There was no way any of this would be possible if you just listened to what your heart wanted. No, that devil on your shoulder had gotten its way once again.

"Oh, what are you doing here?"

Fuck.

You had truly done it this time, because here Alexia was, standing in the doorway of her apartment as you froze at the sight of her.

"What are you doing here?" You ask frantically, desperately praying for her attention to be anywhere but the box of her stuff in your arms.

"Well, this is my apartment, amor. I just got back from training but I left my phone in my car." Alexia answers, an eyebrow raised down at you. Of course she'd catch on that something was wrong. She always did. It was one of the things you loved her for. "What's this? Are you a delivery driver now?"

She laughs to herself as she says it, taking the box from your arms and placing it on the floor. You're still stuck to the spot, eyes wide in fear at what she was about to find, and your heart thumps angrily against your chest in protest, trying to get you to react in some way. But it's too late. Alexia has already opened the box and began to read the letter in there before you could stop her.

The smile on her face immediately dissipates at the first line.

"To Ale, I'm sorry... what do you mean?" She asks, glancing up at you briefly before continuing to read it.

That's when your body finally decides to react. You slowly back away from the woman in front of you, but Alexia grabs your wrist tightly to stop you from running away.

"No, you will not leave my sight right now. Explain this fucking letter, what is going on?" Alexia attempts to sound commanding, but there's a certain glisten to her eyes and a lump in her throat. "What is going on? Tell me, now, please."

"I... I'm sorry, Alexia." You croak out, rushing to wipe the tears already falling with the sleeve of your sweater. "I am sorry, you have to know that."

"Sorry about what!?" Alexia shouts, then takes a deep breath to compose herself momentarily. "Come inside, sit down, and please can we talk?"

"Everything I have to say is in the letter, Alexia, I-"

"No, no it is not. This letter is hardly a whole page. You've come to my apartment with a box of my stuff and a letter that starts with the words 'I'm sorry', I'm not letting you leave." Alexia says, and you have no choice but to listen to her. However, she softens for a moment, and the lost look on her face tugs on every one of your heart strings. She takes one of your hands and squeezes it three times, resulting in another stream of tears from yourself. "Please. Whatever is going on, give us a chance to solve it. I need you to explain what's happened so I can help you, amor. Please."

You relent easily, forever at her mercy, and follow her into her apartment. She leaves the stacked box by the front door, completely unbothered by it - in fact, she doesn't ever want to look inside it if this conversation goes the way she thinks it'll go. She's kicking herself mentally, her mind already skimming over every interaction she's had with you recently, desperately trying to plot a point in time where your attitude had changed. It's easy for her to do so, the moment jumps out almost immediately. If only she hadn't been so scared, so cautious, maybe she could have solved this before it was too late.

"What do you want me to say, Ale?" You sigh exasperatedly as you sit on the edge of her sofa, eyes fixated on your fidgeting hands.

"What do I want you to say? Amor, I want you to be honest and explain why you're sorry, why you've come over with all my stuff, why you've written me this letter. It's all come out of nowhere, I have no idea what's going on and I just want you to clue me in. Yesterday we were laughing together and having a nice evening, and now you're... I don't even want to say it." Alexia laughs nervously as she speaks, her shoulder stuck up in a shrug as her hands gesture eratically.

"It's okay, I'll say it for you." Your false facade takes over, body armoured with a hard exterior. "I'm leaving, Ale. I'm leaving Barcelona, leaving Spain."

To hear you say those words were perhaps the greatest pain Alexia has ever felt in her life.

"Leaving... leaving me?" She whispers quietly, the question punctuated with a gulp as she swallows her emotions.

She sounds eerily similar to a young, innocent child who's just lost all they've ever known. It makes you wonder for a brief second if you're a sick individual for causing such pain, but you shun those thoughts away for a later date, because right now you need all the feigned courage you can muster up.

"Yes." The ease with which you say it sends shivers down her spine. It's the hardest sentence you've ever had to say, and it's just one word - once more an example of how life can never be conformed to simplicity.

"Why are you being so cold? This is not the woman I know." Alexia practically pleads, inching closer to you on the sofa. Her hands land on your knees, but you're too far in to back out now.

"I don't know who I am anymore, Alexia. I need time and space to figure my shit out, that's what is best for me right now and that's why I have to go." She scoffs in your face once you've finished, and that's the moment this conversation goes far more downhill you could have expected.

"What about me? What about what's best for me? You're leaving me behind!"

"Leaving you behind? You're acting like a sad dog that I've just abandoned in the middle of nowhere! You were perfectly fine in your life, your very successful and established life might I add, before I came along and you'll be better off without me!" You snap back. This is not the direction you thought this would go. "Why can't you accept the fact I need to leave?"

"Because I fucking love you! I love you and I don't want to live a life that doesn't have you in it! But maybe I should grow out of that opinion since it seems so easy for you to turn off your feelings for me, so easy for you to be so selfish at the flick of a switch."

"Selfish? I'm being selfish?" You repeat her words back to her with an outraged laughter that sounds all too familiar to you. Is this who you've turned into? "I'm being selfish for choosing what's best for me? I'm being selfish for wanting to take time on my own to figure my life out? I'm being selfish for wanting to take time to grieve my own, dead Mother?"

Alexia's face falls as soon as those words come out of your mouth. Never in her life had a sentence caused such a visceral reaction from her because it feels like someone's just plunged a dagger right into her heart. She'd been too panicked, too focused, on her own feelings to even wonder why you had made this decision. She had been the selfish one for jumping to conclusions and now her lethal arguments had completely tanked the conversation. The possibility that there was no coming back from her vicious assumptions instilled a deeper, darker fear in her than she had ever felt in her life.

"No, no, I didn't-" She begins to dig herself out of the hole she finds herself in, but you're in no mood to entertain her begging.

"Good one. Really funny, that." You stand up and go to walk away, but not without one last attempt from Alexia to stop you.

"I didn't mean that, I swear, I am just so confused and scared and-"

"Do you not think I'm scared too? This will be the second time I've uprooted my life and regretted everything I have ever done. I'm terrified to leave, terrified to find out what's waiting for me at home, terrified to figure maybe this is all I am and that there's no better side of myself to find." Your voice trembles with a mix of fear and fury. "I've realised that throughout our whole relationship, from the moment I stepped into this country, I've been someone that I'm not. Losing my Mum was losing the biggest part of myself, and everything I've done from then 'til now has just been a poor attempt at filling in the hole in my heart-"

"S-so, what, you're saying our relationship was fake?" Alexia splutters out. You pause at her words, completely caught off-guard by her utterly stupid and inept fight back.

"That's what you caught from all that?" You ask, dumbfounded. "Right. Because it's always about you, Alexia, isn't it? This whole conversation has just been you talking about yourself. Have you even properly heard what I've said? Have you read more than the first line of my letter?" The guilty look on her face says it all. "That's what I thought."

"But I... I know what it's like to lose a parent, amor, I can help you!"

"Wow. For the sake of us both, don't go there, Alexia. Don't." You fix her a warning glare, shaking your arm out of the grasp of her hand.

"You can't leave. You can't, I won't let you. It's not right." She speaks sternly again now, a final plea for your relationship.

"Oh, fuck off Alexia. You have the emotional maturity of a teenage boy. I'm done with this now. Good luck at the World Cup this summer."

You walk out and slam her door shut without looking back.

Alexia's life had just taken a nosedive, because a breakup was absolutely not on her agenda for the day. The hand that had grabbed your arm earlier tingled with the stain of your touch and certain areas of the room were tainted by the lingering scent of your perfume. One conversation and you had vanished from her life - an excruciating result caused by her own incompetency to act like a decent human being.

For some time after you had left, she had been stuck rooted to her sofa, her mental temporarily ruined by the events of the day. A traumatic event had occurred, this was a natural reaction, to go into shock. To be so damaged by something that all she could do was sit and be consciously unconscious to the world around her until her body and mind could recover.

There was one phrase that ran circles around her mind. It isn't fair. What that defiance was directed at, she wasn't so sure yet. At first it had been you, but as the clouds cleared a little, it was obvious that it wasn't. Despite her words earlier and how accusing they came out, she didn't blame you. Not one bit. No, her anger was aimed at the so called 'fate' bullshit that everyone championed so often. How can people praise such a phenomenon when it had brought so much evil into people's lives? It felt like everything came at the price of something, and that's not fair.

For Alexia? It felt like her career came with the price of her Father. Everything she had done was because of him, and he couldn't even be here to see it. No, because fate or destiny or whatever other nickname it had, had taken that opportunity away from her. It isn't fair. For you? If anyone asked you, in the future when you're in your rocking chair, a knitted blanket draped over you and the waves of the ocean lapping away in front of your eyes, you'd say that in this period of time you had gained the world for the price of your soul. This dichotomy of good and evil sometimes felt like it wasn't worth the fight because in cases like this, it just wasn't fair.

The realisation of it all left a sour taste in Alexia's mouth. But something seemed to snap in her, some higher power finally giving her a backbone, and she sprung into action. You didn't deserve any of the stuff that had happened to you, and she sure as hell wasn't going to be another name on that list. One of her worst fears, a view shared by all of humanity, was to remember someone she loved in such a gut-wrenchingly awful way that it tarnished her entire memory of them. That's something she couldn't do with you. If you were to end this, it had to be on good terms.

So, she grabbed her keys and headed down to her car, where her phone still was. Alexia was a determined woman; when she put her mind to something, she got it done. This would be no different.

Call after call, after call, after call, came through on your phone from the one woman you probably least expected. There was only so long you could hold her off because, after all, you were once in a relationship with the woman, meaning you got a front row seat to her persistance.

"Hi, uh, Alexia. What do you want?" You say when you answer, finally.

"We have to talk more." Alexia rushes out quickly, for lack of better words and composure.

"I don't know if I want that after what happened earlier." You state in a defensive tone. But secretly, you craved nothing more.

"I know, and I am so so sorry for all that. It was so selfish and awful of me, I regretted every word that came out of my mouth the second I said it. I just... can we talk again? Please?" She begs, her hand fidgeting against the steering wheel of her car as tears silently rolled down her cheeks. "I would hate myself if I didn't at least try for this, amor, let me try."

"The decision is final, Ale, you can't change it. I'm sorry. You said yesterday that you would do whatever I wanted you to do. Well, this is what I need you to do, Alexia. I need you to let me go."

"Okay." Alexia squeezes her eyes shut, tears spilling out the corners, and her clenched fist comes to rest against her forehead. "Can I see you one more time? So I can properly apologise? I have no other intentions than that, I promise. I just... I can't remember you that way. I can't remember us in the way we left it. It doesn't give us as people any respect and it does not do justice to the beauty of our relationship."

That was the tipping point for you. There's the woman you love.

"Okay." You smile and sit up in your bed where you previously lay in a cocoon of your own pity. "How about we meet on neutral grounds this time?"

"Let's do that." Alexia responds, and you can hear the smile in her voice.

Some time later, you found yourself walking along the promenade of the beach, looking for where Alexia said she was seated on one of the benches. It was a chilly evening with no help from the sea, so you had your hands tucked into your coat pockets and your chin hidden under the zip of your coat. Alexia had spotted you long ago, a content smile on her face at the all too familiar sight of you and your distaste for the cold. You recognise her soon after, taking a deep breath before approaching her.

"Hi." You mumble, muffled by your jacket and the wind whipping around you. Alexia hears it of course.

"Hi. Sit down, please?" Alexia taps her hand on the wooden slats of the bench beside her, and you quickly follow suit. "I, uh... got you this."

She hands over a takeaway cup of hot chocolate. Your favourite.

"Thank you. Something to keep my hands warm." You say, happy to see her laugh quietly and nod.

"Exactly why I got it."

The pair of you sit in silence for a while, encapsulated by the serenity of the sky and the elegance of the ocean. Strangely, you realise, the two things resemble you and Alexia. Two things of beauty that never quite meet, never quite mend, just a parallel that reflects each other. You can't tell if that's a horrifying allusion or a calming one.

"So, what's this then, a... a post-mortem of our relationship?" You joke, giggling when Alexia scrunches her nose at the suggestion.

"I mean... you could say that." She shudders as she says it, not quite at peace with the new revelation. She's not sure she ever will be.

"I have to go, Alexia. I... it's so hard leaving you behind. It's the hardest decision I've ever made, but it's one I have to make. I hope you know that."

"I do. I do know that. I want you to know I understand. I'll never be... content with it, but... it's a necessary evil." Alexia has her eyes cast down on her coffee cup, fiddling with the lid. You notice and take hold of one of her hands, intertwining your fingers perhaps for one final time.

"It is. I've got no energy to fight anymore. I need to sit with my emotions and all that shit," You pause as you sigh dramatically, making her laugh once more. "So that I can figure out who I am after all this. Doing that whilst in a relationship isn't fair on either of us. It'll only lead to something more soul destroying, no matter how hard this conversation is."

"I know." Alexia purses her lips and nods, finding the strength to look at you. A genuine smile breaks out onto her face. "I had a feeling something was wrong a little while ago. I guess I'm just... angry. That I can't solve it."

"I'm angry that I can't solve it." You repeat, a sad smile on your face. "There's just a lot wrong with me, I think. And I can't burden you with it all. I have a lot of baggage I drag along and there's an awful lot of cracks in my mind-"

"There's cracks in everything, amor, that's how the light shines in."

You had half a mind to berate her for interrupting you again, but you find yourself at a loss for words. Why were you leaving this woman again?

"I'll value you forever, Ale. Nothing could make me change that, even if we left things at what happened before. You're the most astounding person I've ever met, and even when I'm breaking your heart, you still treat me better than anyone else. If we forget what happened at your apartment." You tease, the both of you chuckling lightly.

"It's hard to hate you when you're breaking my heart so gently." Alexia states. "I'll always love you. It's probably not the right thing to say but it's the truth."

"No, I... I'll always love you too." You respond, absolutely certain. Despite the predicament you both find yourselves in, Alexia finds every bit of relief and closure she could ever need in that one simple sentence.

"When do you... when do you leave?" She asks with a sniffle.

"I fly out later tonight." You answer quietly.

"Will you come back one day?" It's the one thing she knows she probably shouldn't say, but she can't resist. She has to know.

"I don't know, to be honest." She turns away and nods slowly. You squeeze her hands three times.

"If you do, will you let me know?"

You can't promise her that, and she knows it.

"I will." You smile softly up at her.

You both fall into silence once more. This one feels a little less suffocating than those of the past. There's still so much more to say, but as your head falls to rest on Alexia's shoulder and you both look out at the view that had been the background of your relationship, neither of you can name a reason to interrupt the peace that's settled. It's perhaps more peace than either of you had felt in a long time.

The thing is, about the ocean and the sky, is that they do meet. They're one and the same in their own essence, and in the distance, they do eventually meet. And the sun will rise again. Two inevitable occurrences that form at the hands of a little thing called fate. Or destiny. Or whatever it is.

[k4marina]

— ii. Dragon Rider || Heart of the Dragon

synopsis: a new routine in a new world

warnings: idek lol. unedited and not properly read (i kept falling asleep lmao)

series masterlist || next part

~ 2.5k word count.

game of thrones x modern!fem!reader

[gif found on pinterest]

Never in my life have I regretted anything more than I did now. 

“Me and my big fucking mouth,” I grunted, getting up from the ground and dusting my leather pants. Gray Worm looks at me with a slightly amused expression. Of course he would, he just dropped me onto my ass for the fifth time today. 

It had been almost two weeks after the Small Council meeting. There had been a few more since then, but no major topics were discussed, other than Varys begrudgingly backing what I had said about Cersie having scorpions when asked if his little birds had any news. The new armor and weapons for the Unsullied are also being made. After a few talks with Daenerys, Gray Worm, a few Unsullied commanders, and I, the new armor design was decided on. Surprisingly the Unsullied were very artistic people and had great ideas. 

And, within the past two weeks, I’ve been tortured everyday, my limbs aching all the time, threatening to fall off. Everyday, I’ve been woken up at four in the morning for my sword lessons with Gray Worm for five hours a day. When I said I wanted to learn, I didn’t mean I wanted to train to be the world's best swordsman of all time. 

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” I say towards him, wiping away the sweat on my face. 

“I have no idea to what you are referring to, My Lady.” Gray Worm says, feigning innocence. 

“You can’t call me ‘My Lady’ and then drop me on my ass for the fifth time.” I pointed out. 

Gray Worm smiled and got into a fighting stance and I mirrored. “Your defense has gotten better; however, your strength and stamina is lacking.” 

He gave the signal and charged towards me, going to swing towards my left. I sidestepped and blocked the hit with my sword before knocking it back. This time, I went for the attack, but Gray Worm expertly blocked me and knocked the sword out of my hand. The sword clattered against the stone ground, landing a few feet away from me.

“Maybe it’s best we stop for today.” He says, picking up the sword and placing it back onto the rack. I let out a sigh of relief and walked over to the inches, grabbing a towel and wiping the sweat away from my face and neck. 

“Be honest,” I said, turning towards him. “Am I a lost cause?” 

He snorts out a laugh and shakes his head. “Apologies, My Lady.” Once he’d composed himself he answered, “No, I do not believe you are a ‘lost cause’. It may seem difficult now, but it will get easier later on.” 

“Wow, wise words,” I said sarcastically, taking a swig of water from the canteen. “They should call you ‘Gray Worm the Wise’.” 

“I’m pleased that you think I am someone with wisdom.” He says, giving a small bow, making me chuckle. 

After the lessons, I took a bath in my room, this time with the help of the servants. The first few days I would have them leave so I could bathe myself, but I guess over the days it just naturally happened. Once bathed and dressed in a white dress with gold embroidery and pearl beads before I made my way to the hall to have breakfast with Daenerys. 

Not only was it a good way for us to get to know one another (mainly her learning about me) as well as discussing future events and how we would maneuver through it. However, not all of it. I had made the decision to not tell her about Jon Snow or the White Walkers, I think that’s something she should organically go through. All she knows about Jon is that he’s the King in the North is Jon Snow, Ned Stark's “bastard” and the former Nights Watch Lord Commander who came back from the dead.  

The doors to the hall were swung open for me and I walked in, spotting Daenerys at the head of the table, looking through some documents. The sound of the doors closing, snapped her out of her thoughts. When she saw me she smiled, which I returned. 

“What did I say about bringing work to the dining table,” I lightly scolded. She gave me a sheepish look and protested, “it can’t be helped, it's important work. As Queen I’m expected to do this and more.” 

I walked over to her, carefully taking the documents and setting them off to the side. “Dany, you’ve been a Queen since you married Khal Drogo. You need to step back and take some time to just be Daenerys. Otherwise you’ll grow overworked.” 

“Alright, alright. If you’re so sure.” She nodded towards the servants to begin serving the food. Like always, an array of food was laid out for us to eat. We both began to eat, making small talk and updating each other with any new updates. 

“Gray Worm has been telling me that you’re quite exceptional with a sword,” She teased. 

I playfully rolled my eyes, groaning, “not you too.” She let out a laugh, teasing me some more. “What? He says you’re a fast learner. He says he’s never seen someone land on their arse five times in a row.” 

“Right, that’s it.” I huffed. “I’m running away.” 

Daenerys laughed some more and I tried to hide my smile. Truthfully, she reminded me of my younger cousin in Volantis, Mera. Both of them had a heart of gold and an innocent child-like soul deep down. 

“The servants told me that you refused to have your hair braided.” Daenerys points out. She’s not wrong. Instead of braiding my hair I opted to leave it in a ponytail or let it down. 

“Well, I haven’t won any battles.” I said. “Each one of your braids represents a battle won, I haven’t won anything.”

“So if you win you’ll braid your hair?” 

“Sure, why not. Why? Do you not want me to?”

“No, no. Actually, I would quite like that.” She smiled. 

I eyed her suspiciously, “don’t tell me you’re planning on putting me in the frontlines.” 

She shrugged. “Maybe. Your lessons with Gray Worm are going well. Who knows, by the time we’re ready for war you’ll be a master swordsman –or rather swordswoman.”

The rest of the breakfast went fine. Daenerys and I decided to take a stroll around the castle ground claiming she has something to show me. She dropped off the papers in her office before taking me through the back of the castle to the open fields in the back. The wind swept by us, carrying the saltiness of the ocean and the fresh scent of grass. 

“Where are we going?” I asked as she led me deeper into the field. 

“I just wanted to show you something. They’re right over there.” 

We stood atop a hill and at the foot of the hill on the other side resting were Daenerys’ dragons. I felt my heart stop. No way. What the actual fuck. My mouth ran dry as I looked over the three dragons. Drogon, Rhaegal, and Viserion, all in their full glory. I looked over to Daenerys who was already looking towards me. 

“You’re serious?” I ask. She smiles and nods. “What if they don’t like me and decide to eat me?” 

Daenerys laughed, her cheeks turning pink. “They will do none of that sort, I swear. I have a strong feeling that they will like you.” 

Carefully she led me closer to the three dragons. With every step they just grew more and more. They towered over the two of us and stood with immense power. And to think that these three are just a small fraction of the size of Balerion and the rest of the Targaryen fleet. 

We stood a few feet away but I could still feel the heat that they emitted from their bodies. Their majestic eyes that were probably the size of my head watched me carefully. Shiny scales adorned their bodies that looked to be about the size of my hand or bigger. Their one claw nail was the same size as my limbs. 

Holy fuck was this crazy. I’d read about these dragons and even saw a few drawings made by people who’d seen them in textbooks, but being this up close and personal with them was a whole other experience. 

Oddly enough, for such dangerous creatures, they seemed to emit a sense of calm. 

“You feel it too?” Daenerys eyes my reactions to the dragons. “Their calm.” 

I nodded. “I thought my heart would be doing somersaults in my chest, but it’s not.” After the initial shock, I felt my body relax. 

“They’re so beautiful.” I said to no one in particular. 

We hung around them for some time, allowing me to get used to their presence while Daenerys told me stories about her and her dragons. 

I looked over the dragons. Drogon, named after Daenerys’ husband Khal Drogo. Rhaegal, named after Rhaegar the Dragon Prince. Viserion, named after Viserys the Beggar King. 

Daenerys followed my gaze to the cream and gold scales dragon that laid on the grass alongside his brothers. Viserion and Rhaegal seemed to play fight while Drogon watched. 

“Despite their playful nature, those two are the oldest.” 

“What? 

The dragons carefully made their way over to where we stood. Drogon moved towards Daenerys, moving his tail around her as if giving her a hug. Rhaegal moved around behind us, opting to lounge. Viserion, however, moved closer to me. His green eyes bore into mine, as if it was trying to communicate with me. 

He brought his face closer to me, like a dog wanting to be pet. I glanced back at Daenerys who nodded. 

Viserion tilts his head when I carefully bring my hand up to stroke his gold and cream scales. A deep purr comes from him, nearly startling me. He nuzzles his head into my palm and purrs some more. It wasn’t like a cat's purr, more like a deep bass. 

“Would you like to fly him?” Daenerys asks. 

“Yes,” I replied without a thought, too entranced at the dragon in front of me. 

She moves around Drogo, standing to the side of him. 

“Stand like this,” she says. “This is what I find the easiest.” 

I mimic her stance, standing besides Viserion. Drogon crouched down and Daenerys carefully stepped up, using his scales and spikes to seat herself atop the dragon. 

I copied her, being careful to not hurt Viserion (not that I’d be able to) and sat myself on top of the gold dragon. It was uncomfortable, almost like riding a really large horse with spikes and scales. How Daenerys was able to ride her dragons without a saddle or harness was beyond me. 

My hands gripped onto the spikes on Viserions back, holding on tightly as the gold dragon began to shift around from a crouched position to fully stand. My hands gripped onto him tighter as I tried not to fall off. I peaked over its massive body to see that Viserion was getting ready to take off. 

“W-wait!” I looked towards Daenerys who was watching from atop Drogon. “Why is it taking off? What do I do?” Panic filled my voice. 

There was no way in seven hells that she thinks that I can fly, right? 

“Hold on!” She grins just as Drogon takes off into the sky. VIserion gets ready and I can already feel myself slipping off. He takes off just as I adjust my position, hunching down and tightening my grip onto his spikes. 

Wind rushes past my ears and my hair flows all over the place. Instinctively, I closed my eyes while Viserion flew in the air. I could hear Daenerys call for me from across the sky. 

“Open your eyes!” She says. “You’ll be safe, I promise.” 

Carefully, I opened them. It was brighter up in the sky than on the ground and had a lot less clouds. I could hear the, surprisingly, gentle flaps of Viserions wings. I cautiously looked down, seeing that we were miles off the ground, so far up that we could see Dragonstone Island and I could feel my stomach start to buzz. 

“Don’t look down,” I look up to see Daenerys. “When it was my first time I was terrified, as well, but you cannot let your fear control you or else it will transfer to your dragon.” 

I nodded, taking in her words and sitting up straight with confidence. Despite still feeling uneasy I managed to get my grip on things (literally). Daenerys’ words rung in my ears. 

“Your dragon,” 

I’d read of Dragons bonding with non-Targaryens or non-Valyrians, case and point being Hugh Hammer riding Vermithor during the Dance of Dragons. But it would make sense if I could bond with Viserion in light of recent findings. 

“Alright, let’s see what we can do.” I said to Viserion and I. 

—

Daenerys and I spent the rest of the day riding our dragons. It was challenging, especially the part where you literally have to hold onto for dear life, but rewarding in the end. 

In the end Viserion and I had truly bonded. He would know what I was thinking or how I was feeling without even saying a word to him. At first I thought it was just the two of us getting the hang of each other, but Daenerys explained that this was what she and Drogon felt. It was hard to believe that I was a Dragon Rider. But then again, this past week has shown that anything could be possible. 

Getting off the Dragons was harder than getting on, my dress snagging on its scales, but not ripping entirely. 

“I can help you with your riding,” Daenerys says as we walk back into the castle. 

“I’d like that.” I replied. “I’m sure we can find books in the libraries that can help us too.” 

“Have you uncovered anything else?” She asks, expectantly. 

I shook my head. “Nothing of significance. I’ll keep reading and let you in on my findings.” 

We split off so we could clean ourselves up and get ready for dinner. The bathtub was already ready for me when I entered the room. I pulled off my dress and sunk into the steaming hot water. The tension in my shoulders loosened and I dipped my head back to rest on the edge of the bathtub. 

The weight of my necklace lay heavy on my chest, a firm reminder of my… predicament. I tried not to think about it all, otherwise I’d just spiral into some rabbit hole. Some days I wonder if it’s all some sort of dream. A long, vivid dream that I can't wake up from. A knot pulls at my chest, and my throat closes. My eyes flicker up to the ceiling, tears threatening to fall. I took a deep breath, the only thing I can do is take everything in day by day.

And then I fully submerged myself into the water.

a/n: finally, it’s here :) mb if there’s any spelling mistakes, i tried to proofread it but i kept falling asleep and couldn’t be asked anymore 😭 i’ll fix it later, trust 🙏.

comment to be on the taglist!

@wotcherpeak @music-luver25 @your-favorite-god @radiantdanvers @cluelessteam @daenerys713 @ministark @laanswife @idohknow @jromanoff

[taintedcigs]

✦ POLAROIDS | perv!eddie x reader ✦

part II is HERE!

wc: 2k+

pairing: perv!eddie munson x (kinda perv)!reader

warnings: 18+ !!smut, smut smut!!, MINORS DNI!! absolutely no minors!! male m*sturbation, or*l (male receiving), PERV!EDDIE, praising!! panty-stealing perv!eddie. slight dubcon, this is kinda dark so if this kind of stuff bothers u DO NOT READ!! i am not responsible for the media you decide to consume!!! JUST OVERALL FILTH MINORS DNI!!!

summary: eddie knows it's wrong to go through your drawers and steal your panties, but he can't help it, especially when he has a great idea on what exactly to do with them.

authors note: okay I CAVED IM SORRY BUT i cannot stop thinking about perv!eddie, and more specifically i cannot stop thinking about perv!eddie who's obsessed with stealing your panties... this is proofread but i only read it once so pls ignore any mistakes !! enjoy this filth that im ashamed to post for being down this bad for EDDIE!! ALSO YES THOSE ARE TAYLOR SWIFT'S 1989 POLAROIDS I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT POLAROIDS 1989 COMES INTO MY MIND YES I HAVE ISSUES AND IM OBSESSED W TAYLOR SWIFT YES I EXIST!!!

eddie is a pervert.

or at least he feels like a pervert.

he's not proud of it, but he literally can't help himself when you're always around him.

it started out innocent, he would catch a glimpse of you in the hallways, enjoying the way your pretty giggles were infectious, making him smile immediately.

but then it turned into something else, almost like an infatuation, he was so addicted to being around you that he couldn't help it.

from little things to seeing your skirt flip up, to watching your tits bounce up and down with every curb eddie hit "accidentally", to the way he enjoyed you sitting on his lap while the two of you watched a movie, your ass shifting against his cock that made him hard immediately, to the way you made his mind fuzzy when you licked your ice cream, giggling as you swiped your finger, extending your finger so that eddie could also taste it.

it was as if you were teasing him, and it was driving him crazy, everything you did, eddie was obsessed with.

it was fine up until the point he started coming over to your house. it was as if something had taken over him, the first time he saw your room is when he lost it. it was filled with all of the posters of the bands he liked, you had shown it off to him like it was nothing, telling him that you liked listening to whatever he liked.

eddie knew then and there that he needed you in his life. forever.

when you left the room he couldn't help but go through your things, a huge smile plastered on his face as he saw the picture of the two of you, tucked to the side of your mirror.

then he started going through your drawers, he knew it was wrong, and he knew you could catch him at any minute, but it gave him this rush that he couldn't help but be excited about.

his eyes almost rolled into the back of his head when he saw your lingerie, the pink lacy set you had was enough to give him a heart attack.

and he couldn't help but take one, just one he promised himself, he knew it was a lie, he knew he would come back for more, but he stuffed it into the back of his jean pockets, knowing that he would be jerking off to them while thinking of you.

and when stealing your panties became a regular thing eddie knew he was fucked. he would sneak into your room when you were not around, stealing those cute little pink lacy panties you had a thousand of that you always wore with your tight little skirts.

he would jerk off with them, imagining your tight cunt as he fucked the material, finishing off inside as he released his warm load in the soft material. imagining how good it would be to see you wearing them, your cunt covered in his jizz, the thought of that alone would make him go feral.

and soon he would get so comfortable stealing them, cleaning them, and returning them that he would notice how careless you were with them.

he had stolen from you countless times before, and not once had you noticed, you kept going lingerie shopping with him because of how you always lost your panties, it was a win-win situation for him.

this caused him get a bit more comfortable, and soon enough, he was now in your room when you told him you'd be taking a quick shower, he was hurrying to go through your drawers, and he smirked at the sight of the cute little heart-shaped panties, remembering these panties from the day you wore that tight little black dress, showing off your curves and ass every time you bent over to pick up something eddie 'accidentally' dropped.

as he gets on your bed to engulf himself in your scent fully, polaroids on your bedside catch his eye, he slowly reaches for them, and his eyes bulge at the countless pictures of you in a bikini, they were all taken by nancy when you, nancy and robin went to that girl's spring break, leaving him behind.

his sadness at the time of you leaving is washed all away when he sees those pictures. each picture sends more blood rushing to his already aching cock, he curses and groans as he quickly unbuckles his belt, his cock stirs and hardens in his boxers.

and he's quick to release this tension as his angry hard cock springs free out of his boxers, plopping against his stomach.

he stretches the panties against the girth of his cock, and then wraps the panties around his pink tip, pre-cum beading out of his slit, while his other hand is holding the polaroids, examining every part of it.

the polaroid is enough to put a clear image in his mind, the first picture is you smiling, your tits are bursting out of your bikini and the only thing he can picture is how good they would look when you were stuffed with his cock, begging and crying for more beneath him, the way your breasts would bounce with every thrust is enough to cause a low groan out of him.

he's slow to stroke himself with the soft material, a part of him wants you to catch him doing this, a part of him wants you to see how crazy he is for you, he wants to see your shocked face as he fucks your precious panties, and a part of him wants you to help him out, he doesn't want this to be over so soon.

he goes over to the next picture, this time you're laying down on your stomach, your whole frame is in the picture and your ass is sticking out from your thong-like bikini, you face the camera as your gaze is dark, so filled with lust that he groans again, tugging at his cock harder with your panties as he imagines spanking your ass, leaving handprints all over your cheeks.

his fantasies intensify now as he imagines your soft hands over his rough calloused ones, giggling as you stroke him and kiss his angry pink tip. 'mmm, you're s'big, eds.' he imagines you giggling.

he gets to the next polaroid, and the sight alone is enough to make him spill his load all over the picture.

you are looking up innocently as you stick your tongue out, he has no idea why nancy would have this sexy photoshoot with you but he's not complaining as he forcefully tugs your panties along with his cock, his pumps getting intense.

'what d'you want me to do, eds?' he imagines you batting your eyelashes at him as you are standing between his shaking thighs,

'd'you need me to suck you off?' he imagines you asking with your doe eyes.

'yes, doll, need your pretty little lips wrapped around my cock.' he pictures your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock, taking all of him.

'f-f-fuck, just like that, pretty girl.' he groans, praising the imaginary you.

'y'like that eds, y'like me sucking you off?' he winces at your words, his hand began to fist his cock harder, beads of sweat dripping on his forehead from the way he imagined you, he needed to cum.

's'big eds, it's s'fuckin' big, hmmm' you purr, even in his fantasy, eddie is needy.

'need you so bad, princess.' his voice is strained from his groans, he's fucking himself so hard against your panties that the material is straining him, giving him a mix of pleasure and pain.

he imagines holding your hair in a tight grip, pushing your head further as you gag around his cock, all teary-eyed as you look up at him, the image of your saliva mixing with your salty tears causing a strained moan out of him.

'y'gonna cum for me eds? paint my throat with your cum?' the way he imagines you with your doe-eyes and your filthy words is too much for him, his knuckles are white as they abuse his poor aching cock.

'yes baby, need to fill your throat with my cum.' he whimpers now, he feels pathetic, so pathetic, fucking your panties as he's ready to cum all over your polaroid pictures, just so he could show them to you, tell you how fucking pretty you look covered in his jizz.

he imagines you hollowing out your cheeks, as you take all of him with your pretty little lips, his huge cock hitting the back of your throat, causing you to gag around him, and your hands stroking whatever's left of him, massaging his balls, and eddie's eyes roll in the back of his head.

just then, he hears the shower noise turn off, and he knows he doesn't have much time left.

'need your cum, eds. need to taste you.' the imagination is more than enough to get him closer, his grip on your panties is so tight that he can feel his cock ache, he needs to release himself, and he needs to do it now.

'gonna cum, baby, s'good, princess, doing s'good.' his thighs tremble, as eddie's hand sped up now, he bucked his hips forward in a rough movement as the image of you beneath his thighs taking him all was etched into his mind.

'f-f-fuck, gonna fill that sweet mouth of yours.' he groans, and he tugs on his cock faster and faster, his thumb swiping over the tip messily as he releases his warm load into the hem of your panties, animalistic groans leaving his lips.

'take it all, baby, shit.' he murmurs as his cock twitches in your panties, his sticky load covering all the soft material.

the sound of the bathroom door opening causes panic out of him before he can even ride out his climax he places the polaroids on the bedside and then he places the panties next to your clean clothes, getting dressed as he attempts to look nonchalant, sitting on your bed.

'sorry i took so long.' you giggle as you enter, and eddie just hums, his mind still hazy from what happened and the blood is rushing to his cock again as you stand in front of him with a tiny towel wrapped around your body.

your legs are shining and the towel is so tight that he can see the curve of your ass, and your breasts are so pushed together that eddie wants to curse himself for being this perverted about you.

he straightens himself, trying to appear as normal as you walk over to him.

'can you turn around, i'm gonna change.' you murmur, heat rising to your cheeks.

he awkwardly nods as he places himself in front of the mirror, a smirk appearing on his face as he watches you putting on the panties that was covered with his warm cum.

he expects you to have a shocked face, turn around and accuse him, or he expects you to believe that you got so aroused that you immediately soaked your panties, and he thinks he could help you with that.

but what he doesn't expect is to hear you whimper, and his head shots up at the sound, 'mhmm' you almost groan and the blood is quick to rush to eddie's cock again, he's hard as a rock.

'it's not warm enough.' you hum, as eddie turns to face you, his brows knit together in confusion.

'w-what?' he stutters almost, you shrug.

'next time i'd prefer if you actually came in me.' you say nonchalantly, and eddie's jaw almost opens at your words.

his mind is about to explode, he's stuttering, he wants to apologize, but at the same time he wants to know how you knew, he's speechless.

'i- i'm sorry.' he stutters as he attempts to get closer to you, a smirk forming on your face.

'how did you know?' he asks in a timid voice, he can't help but admit how much this excites him.

'oh, eds, who do you think put those polaroids in there?'

final author's note: OKAY IM SORRY ITS A BIT CHEESY BUT PLSPLPLS PLEASEE LMK IF YOU WANT A PT.2, my asks are open! request away <3 ily all hope yall enjoyed this filth omg mwah xo, em <3

[westwiing13]

caught

matt sturniolo x reader (female)

warning: this story contains smut and rough sex

hi everyone! this is my first story and i’m proud of it tbh, but i also apologize if you think it’s bad or… if i did something wrong. lmao idk, enjoy 🫶 oh also, sorry that it’s SO long 😭 i like a good build up.

It was a Friday night, 7PM, and I was hanging out at my boyfriend’s place, Matt. We decided to do a casual date night. That was something I loved about our relationship. We didn’t care for fancy dinner dates. Eating fast food at home, in the car or grabbing a quick meal at a restaurant was enough for us.

We are both sitting at the black kitchen table eating Mc Donald’s.

I pick up a french fry and before I put it in my mouth I ask, “So, we have the place to ourselves the entire night?”

“Yep.”, Matt says then grabbing his root beer soda and taking a sip. “Chris and Nick went to a party and won’t be home til later.”

I chew the french fry and swallow it. “You didn’t want to go?”, I ask.

“Nah. I’d rather spend my night with my girlfriend.” Matt places his right hand on top of my left and gives it a gentle squeeze.

A few moments have passed and we were both done eating our dinner. Matt takes our empty cups, french fry containers, wrappers from our burgers and toss it in the trash can.

I enter into Matt’s room with my right hand in his left. I lead him to the bed where I guide him to sit down and I sit in his lap with my legs wrapped around him. I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling the cold chain of his necklace against my bare arms. Matt places his arms on my lower back holding me. We look into each other’s eyes for a few moments taking each other in. Matt smiles at me and gives a little chuckle.

“What, babe?”, I ask while gently running my fingers through his brown hair.

Matt says, “Oh nothing. I’m just thinking to myself how did I get so lucky to have you?”

I blush and smile not knowing what to say because he still manages to give me butterflies and leave me speechless.

All I could say is “I love you.” I place my right hand on his chiseled jawline feeling his rough stubble underneath my hand, and trace his lower lip with my thumb. Matt says I love you back and moves his hands lower and gently squeezes my ass. I lean in placing my lips onto his. I slide my tongue into his mouth. Our tongues collide dance all around swapping saliva. I feel Matt getting hard underneath me. I slowly grind against his hard length. Matt lets out a deep moan. I feel his warm breath against my lips. Matt brings his lips back to mine and we continue to make out. I pull away from our kiss and teasingly bite on his lip. To finish it off I give him a quick peck.

I yawn feeling tired. I unhook my legs from Matt’s waist and get off of him. Matt says, “Hey! What are you doing? You can’t tease me like that.”

I giggle. “I’m going to take a quick nap if that’s okay.” I say while I move the decorative log pillows aside and untuck the sheets to get into Matt’s bed.

“It’s only okay if we get to continue this later.” he says while giving me a sexy smirk and a wink. I shake my head agreeing to his words. I climb into bed and get comfy.

Matt stands up from the foot of the bed, walks over to to me and leans over to give me a gentle kiss on my head. “I’m going to hang out in the living room so I can let you sleep, baby.” I let out a soft mhmm. Matt turns off the lights and shuts the door as he leaves the room.

I wake up in the comfort of Matt’s bed. I grab my phone to check the time. 9:30PM. I place my phone back down on the side table and close my eyes again. A few minutes went by when I suddenly hear, “God, Nick, you fucking suck at this game! You made us lose again! We haven’t won a single game tonight.” I jolted up and saw Matt sitting at his computer playing Fortnite.

“Geez, babe! You almost gave me a heart attack!” He didn’t seem to hear me so I grab one of the log pillows and threw it at him. “Hey!”, he says to me. He turns around and says, “Oh you’re up, baby. Did I wake you?”

“Sorta!”

“I’m sorry.” Matt puts down the PS4 controller and says into the microphone, “Hold on you guys, Y/N woke up. Be back soon.” I could hear Chris and Nick through the headset both saying alright.

Matt walks over to me and sits on the bed. “How was your nap?” he asks moving a piece of hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear.

“I needed it.” I grab his hand that is near my ear and bring it down onto the bed. “Is that Nick and Chris you’re talking to? I thought they weren’t going to be home til later.” I slowly move my thumb side to side across his hand.

“Yeah, they decided to leave the party early.”

“Don’t they know that we’re doing a date night?”

“Yes. I tried to convince them to stay longer but they wouldn’t. Assholes.” Matt rolls his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh.

“Hey, Matt, it’s okay.“ I lean in and give him a peck on the lips. “I’m ready to continue where we left off now that I am well rested.” I say in a flirtatious tone. I can see Matt instantly get hard underneath his Nike grey sweatpants just from my words. I love knowing that I have that kind of control over him. “But Chris and Nick are here. And you and I both know you scream my name when I am absolutely destroying your sweet pussy.”, Matt says softly with a smirk and licks his lips. I lean forward and whisper into his ear, “Well, I’ll just have to learn to be quiet and if I can’t… well… that’s Nick’s and Chris’ problem. They knew we were having a date night.” I bring my hand to Matt’s throbbing dick, I glide my hand across it and he squirms under my touch. I continue to whisper in his ear, “Look at you. Already going crazy from my touch. You tell those boys that you are done with gaming for tonight.” Matt gets up from the bed, walks over to his desk and puts back on his headset and says into the microphone, “Hey, you guys, I am done with Fortnite for the evening.”

“Oh we knew the moment we heard Y/N say, ‘I’m ready to continue where we left off now that I am well rested’ .”, Chris says laughing. “Shut up, bro!” Matt raises his voice. Chris continues to laugh and says, “Forgot to mute your mic, bro.”

“Okay, this got weird fast.” Nick says.

“Goodnight.” Matt says with a serious tone. Matt takes off his headset, logs off of Fortnite and turns off his PS4.

I stretch my arms out in front and wiggle my fingers telling Matt I want to be snuggled up in his arms. Matt walks over to me places his arms around me and rests his head on top of mine. I breathe in his addictive scent of cedarwood and hints of citrus.

“I love it when you get mad, babe.” , I say with a laugh. “It’s both cute and hot.”

“Yeah?” he asks.

I nod. “I love big bad boy Bernard.”, I tease. Matt just rolls his eyes not even knowing what to say to that. Matt lifts his head off of mine, takes his hand puts it under my chin and tilts my head up. He stares into my eyes and puts his lips on mine. He slides his tongue into my mouth and our tongues are once again dancing.

I reach for the drawstring on his sweatpants and untie them while we are still exchanging a wet kiss. I tug on the waistband of both the sweatpants and his underwear. I break the kiss and say, “Take these off.” Matt stands up and removes his grey sweatpants first and I immediately become wet at the sight of Matt’s bulge compressed in his red underwear. He then removes his underwear and his dick springs out fully erected. I get off the bed and kneel in front of him.

“God you are so beautiful staring up at me like that. Put those pretty pink lips to good use, yeah?”, he says.

I first tease him by delicately moving my fingers along his shaft and then I gently lick the tip swirling my tongue around it.

“Please stop teasing me, Y/N.”, Matt begs. He bunches my hair into a messy bun and without warning he bucks his hips and all the sudden I feel his dick at the back of my throat. I place my hands onto his thighs for support. He then starts to thrust in out of my mouth at a steady pace.

“Your pretty mouth feels so fucking good around me.”, he says.

I unclip my black bra and remove it from underneath my shirt. I then lift my shirt up exposing my tits. My nipples go hard from the cold hair. I place both of my index fingers and thumbs to massage my hardened nipples for added pleasure. I begin to moan.

“Fuck, baby, with you moaning like that. I’m not going to be able to last much longer.” he says. He begins to speed up his pace forcing me to have to put my hands back on his thighs for support.

“I’m so close, Y/N.” Matt says with heavy breaths. He removes his dick from my mouth and begins to stroke his dick at a fast pace. Shots of his hot cum lands on my tits. “Fuuuuuck.” Matt says in a deep moan.

I stare up into his beautiful blue eyes and move all of the saliva that formed from the blowjob to my lips and Matt leans down and kisses me as we share the wet sloppy mess.

“You are such a dirty girl for me, huh?”, he says. I glide my fingers across my tits collecting his cum and licking it all up.

Matt takes my hand and helps me up.

“Now it’s my turn to make my princess feel good.”, he says.

He removes my shirt fully exposing my top half. He leans down and takes one nipple into his mouth. His warm tongue gliding across my nipple causing me to moan. I place my hands on his head and move my fingers through his soft messy brown hair. Matt stops for a second to help me lay back on the bed with him on top. He starts planting kisses on my neck and makes his way back down to my tits. He takes in the opposite nipple and swirls his tongue around it. He then makes his way further down while his hands massage my tits. Once he gets to my jeans he moves his hands down to unbutton and unzip them. He removes my jeans leaving me only in my black thong. He also removes his black tank top over his head.

Seeing Matt completely naked with only his horse chain/necklace on makes me feel a warmth down in my core.

Matt stands at the foot of the bed and I feel his blue eyes scanning over my body taking in the sight of me.

“Come on, Matt. My pussy is aching for you.”, I say as I begin to touch myself. I can feel the black fabric becoming wet.

Matt leans over and wraps his arms around my legs bringing me closer to the edge of the bed so he has easier access to my pussy. I can feel his hot breath against my flesh. I stop touching myself and let him take over.

Matt firstly moves my thong to the side with his teeth and then starts licking away at my clit. The intense pleasure caught me off guard and I yell, “MATT!” I immediately place my hand over my mouth knowing that Chris and Nick could’ve possibly heard. Matt says against my pussy, “Shhhh… Don’t want my brothers to know that I am eating the shit out of you right now.” He goes back to licking every crevice of my wet aching pussy. The clit, the folds and even inside. “Fuck, Matt. Don’t stop, please.”, I say with heavy breaths. I place my legs over his shoulders and place a hand in his hair grabbing it. Letting him know to not stop and that I am close. I begin to squirm under him and let out deep heavy moans. I feel his tongue going in and out of me at a rapid speed. God he knew how to use that tongue of his. He then goes back over my clit and that’s when I lose it. I feel a pleasuring sensation come over me as I reach my climax. My legs shake uncontrollably and I can’t help but yell his name.

A few seconds later I say, “Holy shit, babe. I think… that was… your best job yet.”, I say trying to catch my breath. Matt then licks me all over and tells me how good I taste.

He comes up, leans forward, and wraps his hand around my neck, whispering, “I told you to be quiet. Turn around and get on all fours for me.”

I do as he says and put my ass into the air. Matt removes my thong by ripping it off me in one swift motion. He spanks my ass and I let out a whimper. He grabs his hard length and glides it in between my folds teasing me.

“Babe, plea-“, before I could finish my sentence he thrusts into me super deep with no warning. I let out a gasp. He gives me a moment to adjust to his size before he starts moving slowly in and out of me.

“Goddamn, Y/N, you are so tight.” He gives my ass another slap and continues to move in and out of my wetness. Matt grabs my hair and pulls my head back as he begins to pick up his pace. My eyes begin to roll to the back of my head I can feel the familiar sensation forming in my stomach knowing I am close.

“Matt- I- I’m—“

“Me too, babe.”

His dick twitching inside of me knowing he is close. I reach for my clit and rub it with my fingers in a circular motion.

The door opens and Nick walks in, “Hey, Matt, do you know where—“ Both Matt and I look over and see Nick with terror in his eyes. I try to say something but I am so overwhelmed with pleasure and also close to reaching my climax that I can’t get any words out.

“Hey, bro! Get outta here!”, Matt yells.

Nick exclaims, “Oh shit! Sorry!” He exits so fast closing the door behind him.

Right after the door closes I feel my pussy clenching around his dick while I reached my peak. “Matt! I- I’m cumming! Holy—!”

“Yes, baby, cum for me.”, Matt says out of breath continuing move in and out of me.

Seconds later I feel Matt bucking his hips and his warm cum filling me up. Matt pulls out and collapses next to me.

“Holy fucking shit.”, he says, “that was so hot.”

I turn over and lay next to him. Our hot sweaty bodies touching.

“You should’ve locked the door, silly.”, I say with a giggle.

[ramp-it-up]

II Most Wanted Part 5: Wherever You Take Me

Pairing: Syverson x OFC Reader "Buttercup"

Summary: The cookout gets hot and dinner with Sy is a revelation. Plus, you get to see his place. 😏

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. S MUT, Fluff, Angst, Reader has PCOS, talk of infertility, talk of war, daydreaming about shower sex, anal play, natural hairstyles, clothes kink if you squint, voice/dirty talk kink, Graphic depiciton of sex. Woman on top, size kink, slight choking, squirting, nipple play, begging, raw p in v, copious amounts of cum. I did not mean to disparage yoga in any way.

Read at your own risk.  Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N:  This is the fifth installment of II Most Wanted. I'm in love with these two; they are bringing my writer heart back to life. If you like it, please reblog and comment.

I don't have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Previous part here

———-

To say Sy had you shook was an understatement. You woke up expecting to find him there, but then you remembered saying a groggy ‘goodbye’ to him almost as soon as you hit the bed after the workout he gave you in the shower. 

You lay in bed as your anxiety spiked and wondered if he took that as a dismissal. You hoped that he didn't think that you didn’t want him around. But you didn’t want him to think that you were going to just fall into his arms.

You just didn’t know what to do with these old/new crazy feelings for Sy. How well did you really know him? You knew the kid from 20 years ago, but he broke your heart. How careful would grown ass man Sy be with your love? And would he still want you if he knew the entire truth?

You decided to relax and stretch and clear your mind of all the clutter. Yes, yoga was the perfect antidote to Jacob Syverson.

—---

Yoga failed you miserably.

You found yourself checking for Sy as soon as you arrived at the cookout. You socialized as you lowkey searched for him at the function, and when you realized he wasn’t there yet, you inhaled a whiff of the shirt you were wearing for the dopamine hits. It was his dress shirt from the night before that you tore off of him and that you were wearing over your tube top and jean shorts. You couldn’t help it if he left it there and it was the perfect complement for your outfit.

It was well past noon and he hadn’t arrived. You chewed your lip and let anxiety in again. You avoided questions from Carla and Tiffani about what happened, and your mind drifted to how he’d handled you last night. 

Sy’s soapy hands were all over you, pulling on your wet nipples, grabbing your wet hair as his mouth attacked your neck, and sliding over your body under the hot stream of water. He was a quick study, and at the point of your fifth orgasm, it felt as if he knew your body better than you. 

And you let him take possession. 

His slippery fingers toyed with and penetrated your ass as he fucked you senseless against the wet tile, ramming his thick cock inside you again and again as you begged for more. You came again, harder than you ever had, and afterward your energy drained out of you just like his cum streaming down your legs. He had to dry you off and carry you to bed, all the while leaving sweet kisses all over you.

You’d never felt so…loved...and in trouble.

As soon as your towel covered head hit the pillow, you were out like a light. You didn’t see Sy’s look of adoration, didn’t feel the kiss on the forehead that he gave you as he whispered “Sweet dreams,” and his chest puffed out with pride at having put you to sleep, a cocky smirk on his face as he let himself out and strode toward the Bronco. You were snoring softly.

You were busy reliving the experience of the night before, relishing the slight soreness of your body as Carla and Tiffani chattered around you. You weren’t really present until fingers started snapping in front of your face.

“Come back to earth…”

“Oh shit,” you giggled, “sorry, Carla. What were you saying?”

Both of your besties laughed at you.

“Umm hmm. Yeah. Well you answered the question without answering it. That dreamy look on your face says it all.”

You just smiled, rolled your eyes and sipped your cider.

“I’m just chilling. Sy and I had a good talk, and a good time last night. We buried the hatchet.”

Carla and Tiffani exchanged looks.

“I bet you did. I bet you buried it hard. And deep.”

You scoffed at them both, but Carla was unswayed. 

“Tell us, Buttercup. Exactly what size hatchet does Jacob Syverson carry?”

You shook your head and took another drink, rolling at your friends’ ridiculousness.

”Well, if you don’t want to give the details about Sy’s dick, you’ve got to tell us the story of that hair.” 

Carla nodded toward your thick cornrows.

“Did Sy mess it up so badly that you had to detangle in the shower, or did you get tangled up with Sy in the shower?”

Your cheeks heated as you took another swig and scanned the park to avoid answering your intuitive friends. And when you saw the Bronco, you almost choked.

You put your beverage down and straightened up, patting your head. Sy had arrived.

“Does it look alright?”

“It looks dope,” Tiffani looked around to see Betty Bronco pulling into a parking spot.

“Oh shit, she is sprung. This is gonna be good.”

Their teasing faded into the background as you watched Sy unfold out of Betty Bronco and were reminded of the night before as he ran his hand over his beard. That beard. How wet that beard got last night. Both in and out of the shower… 

You took in the vision of this man who indeed had you sprung after one night. You sighed when you saw him come toward you. Although he was dressed simply, a dark grey t-shirt and jeans, he looked like the best thing you’d seen in ages.

Damn, he was hot. Or was it that you’d just spent too much time in the sun? He strode toward you and the way his body moved was dangerous. You felt that you would hit your knees with the slighted signal from him. 

Sy was indeed hot. And you may have also had sunstroke. Both things could be true. What else would explain the way your heart was beating and the weird feeling in your stomach?

Yes. Sunstroke it was. And lust. And nothing else.

Your friends’ laughter pierced your reverie and you got up to meet him before he reached the group.

—------

Sy got home that morning and fell into his bed, daydreaming of having you in it. It was 4 am, and he fully intended on sleeping just a few hours, then waking up and sending you a good morning text.

Soon he was dead to the world.

The next thing he knew, it was 11:30, too late for a morning text. He would just have to greet you in person at the cookout. He got out of bed to get ready, taking extra time with his hair and beard. He hadn’t cared this much about how he looked since high school. He hadn’t cared this much about anything since you. He wanted to be the one that you wanted. If it was a quarter of the way he wanted you, he’d be a lucky man.

Plans rolled around in his head as he rolled toward you in Betty Bronco, but also uncertainty. Was this just a trip down memory lane for you? Just a whim of a weekend, a chance to experience everything you didn’t 20 years ago? 

Whatever this was, he wasn’t going to waste any time. 

When Sy pulled up at the event almost an hour late, lo and behold, there you were. His eyes fell on you, a vision in his white shirt, your lips wrapped around what looked like a beer bottle. Your hair was different. Sexy. But then again, every look was sexy on you it seemed.

“Well, ain’t that a daisy.”

His heart did a thing and he took a beat, trying to be cool. Sy thanked his lucky stars before he got out of the Bronco, his destination not even a question.

—--

You met him under a live oak tree, a few feet from the picnic tables. Carla and Tiffany and a couple of other people called hello to him, but he just nodded and waved at them as he focused on you.

You in his shirt was one thing, but the tube top and shorts you were wearing, he felt as if he hit the jackpot as his eyes feasted on your curves. He licked his lips as if to recall the taste of some of them.

You stood there as Sy’s eyes roamed your body possessively, and although it was 82 degrees, you shivered. Maybe you were getting the flu.

“Hullo there, Buttercup.”

Sy beamed down at you and you screamed at him in your mind as you flushed hot again. ‘Where have you been!? Why did you leave!?’

But instead you just said, “Hello, Sy.”

You grinned back up at him, suddenly okay. More than okay. Sy’s attention was a powerful drug and you’d forgotten that you were an addict. You wanted it all the time. 

“‘D’you sleep well?”

You bit your lip and grinned again as you played with the collar of the shirt you were wearing. Sy could glimpse a hickey that he’d put on your collarbone and he felt the urge to take you behind the tree and give you more. You had some powerful magic.

“Yes. Very.”

He took off his sunglasses then and stepped closer to you. His smile was contagious.

“I’m glad. You were knocked out when I left. Seemed tired.”

Your smile dropped as you chewed your lip.

“Yeah, about that. I didn’t mean to kick you out.”

Sy shifted his stance closer to you.

“You didn’t kick me out, Buttercup. You were exhausted. I said I was going to give you space.”

“You did?”

You stared at him, wide eyed. He chuckled.

“You don’t remember that, do you?”

You sighed in relief and looked at the ground, cheeks heated.

“No.”

Your voice was small and Sy’s heart lurched, He had hope. Maybe you did have feelings for him other than lust if you thought you’d hurt his. He reached for your hand, just your fingers really, and caressed them softly. He smiled at you when you looked up at him again.

“It’s okay, Buttercup. Really. I got some rest. And If I’d stayed, I have a feeling that we would still be in bed right now.”

The deep timbre of his voice and the affirmation of what you already knew had you shook, imagining a morning in bed with Sy. You went silent, staring up at him with those eyes. His cock stirred. Shit, you were so hot when you went lust-mute. He cleared his throat.

“I like your hair.”

Sy nodded at you.

“Thanks. Got a little wet last night, had to do something…”

Sy smiled at the shower memories.

“Looks great. Like your outfit, too.”

He adjusted the collar of the shirt you were weating, eyes sweeping down your form to get a look at you underneath it. He knew that all he had to do was hook his finger in your tube top and your breasts would spill out. He licked his lips as he regarded you, eyes shining with need when he looked back up into your eyes.

Your mouth opened as if for air as you stood stock still, like a deer caught in headlights. You wanted the same things he did. Damn. You were dickmatized.

“I can see what you’re thinking, Buttercup. But everyone is watching us.”

You huffed out a breath, moved closer, grabbing his t-shirt to bring him down for a kiss. You heard some people murmur and your friends high five and laugh behind you.

Sy felt triumphant. He grabbed your waist and kissed you back. Thoroughly. Then you pulled back, out of breath.

“You’re right. Everyone is watching.”

Sy brought his hand up to the back of your head and looked into your eyes.

“I don’t give a fuck.”

The gruff whisper went straight to your cunt as he pulled you back in for another kiss. 

He finally pulled away and you were still holding on to the stainless steel chain of his dog tags. You looked up at him, ready to ditch the cookout on a word from him.

“Didn’t you get enough last night?”

You were posing the question to yourself, as well as Sy.

Sy inhaled oxygen, because he was drowning in your vibe right now. He grunted.

“Hm. I thought you understood, Buttercup. I will never get enough.”

Another kiss. You whimpered and he just knew that you were wet for him.

“I just want to haul you in the back of Betty right now, but we’re gonna do this thing today. Tonight we’ll go out for dinner, right?”

You nodded, licking your lips as he released your waist and took your hand, leading you back to the table.

—---

You all were sitting around the table playing cards a couple of hours later with your old friend group when someone pointed at Sy’s arms.

“What happened to you, Sy? Did you get attacked by a wild animal?”

Sy looked down at the scratches you left on him with pride, smirked and started to answer, ignoring the look from you.

“Well… Sorta. Kinda. You know I like to live dangerously.”

The wink he threw the questioner was for you, however, and you knew it.

“Sy, you’re too much!”

“Funny thing. Someone said that to me recently.”

You tugged on Sy’s hand.

“Excuse us for a minute, please.”

You gave them your best dignified smile, even though you hot. Sy was chuckling as he followed you back to the live oak tree out of earshot of the group. All they could see was that he was laughing now and everyone could tell that you were giving him the business.

Your friends watched you two and smiled.

Sy put his hands up and nodded, still laughing. You turned away from him, but he grabbed your hand as you tried to walk away. You turned around, annoyed, but then he pointed to his lips, suddenly serious. You gazed at them, smiled and then reached up to kiss him, then pulled away and flipped him off. He laughed again.

"Promise?"  Sy called after you. 

You flipped him off again but grinned as you rejoined the table and Sy went to get more beer. 

“So, when’s the wedding?”

“Shut the fuck up, Carla!”

—---

You let Sy pick you up that evening, and the mood was subdued. He complimented your dress and kissed you on the cheek, careful of your makeup, which you’d carefully applied. Your hair was curly again, the braid-out giving you the look that you wanted. You were quiet as you looked out of the window.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Buttercup.”

You looked at him, anxiety written all over your face.

“Today was a lot.”

Sy looked back at you.

“Today was fun.”

You sighed.

“It was. A lot of fun hanging with our friends. It was like we were a couple. Carla asked… Well, I think people think we’re a thing. They expect us to…”

Sy understood. You were spooked.

“I see. Well, if you want to know, Buttercup, in my head we are a thing, but I know you aren’t there yet. I know you’re scared.”

“I’m not…!”

“It’s okay to be scared. We’ve been through a lot. Name it for what it is. I am not into bullshitting. Especially with someone I love.”

That sentence shut your mouth.

“And I don’t give a fuck what people expect us to do. I want to enjoy any time you grace me with. We’ve wasted enough time already.”

Sy picked up your hand from the leather seat and brought the back of it to his mouth. The tender kiss went straight to your soul.

“Just be here now. I mean, we can talk about the past, or the future if you want. But let’s take it one step at a time.”

You smiled at him as he pulled you closer to him and as he kissed up your arm.

“Okay.”

Somehow, you wound up with your head on his shoulder as you drove to the restaurant.

—--

The restaurant was nice, Meyers on the River, and it was a great atmosphere as you and Sy ate on the deck overlooking the lake. You chatted, filling in some of the blank spaces of your lives.

You asked a question that had been nagging you as you ate your salmon.

“Did you- did you go all in during the war? Did you agree with all of that? I mean, almost 20 years Sy. I feel like you had to have a certain kind of mindset to do that.”

Sy shook his head, leaned back, and sighed.

“It was a job. With good benefits. And my family had been enlisted, my uncle Mike. I went and after I found out about Jeremiah, I just dedicated myself to my job over there. I channeled the feelings that I had in order to prepare myself to be a father to being a leader. My men were under my care. It was hell. Hot, sweaty, full of hate. So I became Syverson, the asshole Captain who got the job done. I survived.”

Sy shrugged and toyed with his napkin. 

“There were problems to be solved. And most of the time we solved them.”

You took in what he said and saw there was something deeper there.

“I’m glad that you are back home now.”

He smiled at you.

“Me too. Everything happens for a reason, Buttercup.”

You smiled back and thought about what he said. He was right.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

You sat back in your chair, trying to prepare yourself.

“How do you feel about never having kids? I know about your losses, and you don’t have to talk about it….”

This was part of the reason why you were so hesitant with this relationship. You took a deep breath and decided to name it.

“No. We need to talk about it. It might change your mind about me… us…

You fiddled with your fingers in your lap.

“Doubt that.”

“Just wait until I’m done, Sy.”

“Okay.”

“I have PCOS, Sy. It’s a condition that makes it very hard to get or stay pregnant. I’ve been through surgeries and meds, natural methods. The stress of my relationship also didn't help me to have healthy pregnancies. We were going to do in-vitro, but when I found out about the second mistress, I was done. Scott and I divorced and I was content to be by myself. The condition can be progressive. It’s why I take the pill everyday.”

You looked into Sy’s eyes.

“I don’t know if I will ever be able to have a baby. And I’m certainly not getting any younger.”

“I’m sorry, all that has happened to you Buttercup. But none of this changes a thing about how I feel about you or us. I still want you. I still kinda feel like forever with you.”

Sy had your hand across the table now and watched as the smile spread across your face. Something shifted inside you. Sy knew everything and he still wanted you. Maybe this could be a thing. You wanted to say so much, but instead, you just nodded at his plate.

“Finish your steak.”

Sy grinned at you.

“Yes, ma’am.”

The conversation different, lighter after that. The chef came out and you spoke, then he comped your meal.

“I will never thank you enough for helping this place to happen Mr. Syverson.”

You looked at Sy quizzically.

“We solved that problem, didn’t we Ben?”

“Yes! Come back and bring your beautiful lady any time!”

“Will do, Ben. Will do.”

Sy stood up and shook his hand, then left what he would have spent on dinner as a tip. You walked out hand in hand as you looked at his profile. 

“I haven’t told you about my business. I used my payout from retirement and my injury to start a construction company. Captain Construction. We make a pretty good living. And we help folks out when we can.”

You scooted closer to him on the seat.

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“I don’t know. I feel like you are in my soul though, so…”

You gave Sy a peck on the lips, and he chased you for more.

“Want me to take you back to your place? Or would you like to see my house? Built it myself.”

You looked up in the air, as if it were even a choice.

“I want to see your house. You’ve got me curious.”

Sy grinned and started the truck. Then he shook his head and turned it off again.

“Ok, no bullshitting. If I take you to my place, I’m not gonna wanna take you back until daylight tomorrow. And maybe not even then.”

“I’ll go wherever you take me, Sy.”

—-

“Please Buttercup. I’m just a mere mortal. I can’t take this.”

You loved the way his voice broke and how Sy’s eyes were glued to your body, your glowing skin, your breasts swaying with each movement, your hand which was clutching him between your luscious thighs, which were on either side of his pelvis. You were pumping his engorged and weeping cock, teasing him, and yourself, by bouncing on just the tip, your small fist preventing full penetration. 

Sy’s hands were grasping the steel bars of his headboard, stuck there by the promise he made you when you began the end of his house tour. It was a beautiful home, and now you were about to fuck his beautiful cock.

But you were testing his patience. His knuckles were white, and his biceps and pecs were flexed, forearms straining to hold back. His abs were tensed and he was gritting his teeth as he tried to respect your request, but he didn’t know that his struggle was the sexiest part.

“Hmmmm. I think this feels as good to you as it does to me, Sy.”

Sy looked to where you were connected, silently willing you to let him enter you fully. He growled.

“Please, it can feel so much better. Fuck me, Buttecup. I’m yours.”

You keened as you worked yourself open on him.

“Loot at me baby. Please. Need to see your pretty little fucked out face.”

You moaned and did as he asked. You spoke with him, halfway incoherent with pleasure as you slid down his cock.

“So, fucking hugeee. I love this big dick, Sy.”

Sy groaned as you clenched around him.

“It’s yours.”

He licked his lips as he gazed at you opening up for him. Your slick cunt clenching his cock was the most beautiful thing in the world. 

“I love that tight little pussy. Is it mine?”

You reached up and grabbed his shoulders as you adjusted to his size again. You looked into his dilated eyes and gave him a kiss in response.

“Shit is so fucking big. Ah.”

Sy was quivering beneath you, still holding back from going crazy on you. While he wanted to fuck you silly, he also wanted to savor this slow sensuality with you.

“Feels amazing,” you stared down into his blazing blue eyes as you slowly circled your hips.

“Yes, it does. Holy shit it does..”

You leaned down, kissed him and started moving. Sy watched your breasts as you arched backwards and he planted his feet to fuck up into you better.

“Oh! Sy! Feel so full. So good.”

Sy growled and let the bed go, causing a grin at his loss of control. He wrapped his arms around you and held you in place as his hips moved at the devil's pace. The sound of his dick breaching your wet pussy was everything. Skin slapping on skin was the music of your heartbeats at the moment. Sy’s hand found your clit and traced wicked circles there as he pounded you out, making your eyes spark as if with stars. 

“F-f-f- u-u-u-ck! I’m- I’m coming!”

It was embarrassing how quickly he had you there.

“Give me that shit, Buttercup.”

He stroked you through your peak as you gushed around him.

“Fuck. Got my balls dripping with you. This is my dream come true baby. Gimme more.”

He sat up, grabbing your ribcage and moving you up and down his now even slicker, impossibly bigger, cock.

“Shhitttt you feel so good!”

Sy looked down and then up at the ceiling, eyes rolling at the sight. He was about to cum. He manhandled you like a rag doll so that he could kiss you. Hard.

“You are hotter than the desert, Buttercup.”

Your hands moved up his abs to his pecs, rubbing your palms on his nipples as he growled and reached for you. He pulled on your sweaty breasts until your nipples remained pinched between his fingers.

“Ahhhhhh, Sy!” 

You moaned and rolled your hips as he pulled on your sensitive nubs.

“Love your fucking sounds, Buttercup.”

His hand was sliding up the column of your throat now, manhandling you in the way you’d come to love in such a short time. You moaned and Sy felt the vibrations of your voice box on his palm.

“You are so goddamn pretty when you are impaled on my cock. Can’t get enough of you.”

Sy leaned back on one arm so that he could pound you the way he wanted. 

“Fuck, want my cum, Buttercup?”

You were circling your own clit and squeezing your breasts at the same time. 

“God, yes, Sy. Give it to me!”

“Here it comes, godamn….!”

You felt his ropes of cum spurt against your cervix as he came forcefully inside you. Sy looked down to see it and your own juices eek out of you as he kept pulsling inside you.

“It’s like it’s never gonna end, fuck! Got so much for you Buttercup.”

You reached down and played in your combined slick as he pulsed again, bringing your fingers up to taste as Sy finally finished coming.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that right?”

You grinned and kissed him, as you collapsed on the bed reveling in your wet, sweaty bodies as he held you close. You wriggled out of his grip.

“Time for a shower, Sy.”

You smiled as you walked into his en suite, seeing him hot on your heels.

“Damn if I don’t die a happy man.”

You laughed at Sy as he got your hair wet again.

------

Hit Reblog if you like it!

Next part here

[starlightandfairies]

Reaction ~Joel Miller~

Description: Reader kills someone to protect Joel. It was the first person who wasn't infected.

Warnings: she/her pronouns, swearing, death, killing, vomit, blood,

(View whichever Joel you want, show or game. I don't have any in mind. Regardless of what the gif is)

Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Last name, POV = Point of view

Word Count: 1,578

The Last of Us masterlist

First Person's POV 

Joel and I were running around some city, hunters had been on our arses for a fair while, I wasn't much of a fighter. I mean, I knew how to defend myself, Joel taught me and also how to use a couple weapons but most of the time it was Joel who did the killing. I could take out the infected, I'd be dead if I didn't, I had yet to kill an uninfected person yet. I knew it was inevitable, it's a dog eat dog kinda world now. Gotta do what you gotta to do to survive. 

"Come on, I'll boost you up." I nodded, grunting as Joel gave me the momentum to get into the air and I pulled myself onto the platform and then got on my belly to drag Joel up. 

"You ready?" I nodded and started dragging him up once he grabbed onto my arms. Joel pulled me to my feet once he was up and we climbed into the window. I hid behind something covering the platform we were on, watching as Joel dropped down to the main floor to take out the lone runners. 

He moved with such ease, almost like a ballerina, probably not something I should say to him. Ever. I think he'd kill me if he knew I referred to him being like a ballerina. Joel killed the four runners without alerting any of them, once he waved his hand I dropped down with my knees cracking, creaking and crackling. 

"We going up?" I questioned once making my way to Joel, he nodded and grabbed onto the rope/hose/cable whatever the fuck it was, he grabbed onto it, tugging firmly a few times before gesturing for me to go up first. 

"I'll catch you if you fall, just like last time." I huffed, hated he had to reminded me of it, maybe I should call him a ballerina to his face. I grabbed the rope/hose/cable and used the wall to make my way up. It was hardest getting onto the ledge without getting into some ridiculous position. Once Joel got up, we made the hike to the rooftop, hoping to get the advantage on these hunters. 

I got the plank that was discarded and placed it between the two roof top buildings. Joel finished surveying the rooftop and ushered for me to get across. I did so and ducked down once bullets started firing, Joel kicked off the plank and began firing back at the hunters who managed to sneak up on us. 

"Find a way down, I'll meet you down there!" Bang. Bang. Bang. He ran away before I could muster a protest. Fuck, Fuck. Fuck. Not having any bullets coming my way, I ran to the door, closing it behind me and pulled out my gun creeping down once I gained a hold of my senses and remember everything Joel taught me if I ever ended up alone. 

I was worried the bloaters would be in here, the stalkers had me more scared, I just wanted to go back to safety, when stalkers weren't trying to get me to die by natural causes of a damn heart attack. The worst part is knowing they're there but not knowing when they're gonna jump out. 

In this building I had to deal with just clickers and runners. So glad that no stalkers wanted to give me a heart attack, that honestly relieved me. However, my fear quickly returned as I heard the gunshots growing louder the closer I got to the bottom of this tall building. 

I dropped down from the opened elevator, grunting once more at the pain in my knees, I really needed to stop doing this and I know that Joel's knees were just as abused as mine. I did this little awkward creeping run, trying to stay low but quick to see if Joel was still alive or if something had somehow gone wrong. I got into the building, hiding behind the nearest barricade to ensure that Joel was still alive. 

There he was, fighting with a hunter, his gun was somewhere discarded in the overgrown ground-floor. Joel managed to get a metal spike in his hand before ramming it up the hunter's chin. I did a quick survey, trying to ensure there were no more hunters, as I said before, I'm not much of a fighter and Joel very much knew this, so normally he kept me away from this kind of fighting. Which I was glad he did that, instead of ditching me years back when he realised how much of a fighter I wasn't. He ditched the body to the side, grunting as he did so. I checked again, making sure no one was sneaking around before making my way to Joel. 

It happened so quickly, sounds cliched, but I swear it really did and I don't really think Joel knows what happened either. A hunter tried pulling off some ninja move from movies. He dropped down from the balcony, landing on Joel, causing him to fall belly side on the ground and struggle for air as the man wrapped an a cord around Joel's throat. I fired one shot, landing in the hunter's bicep. Fortunately he let go of Joel, unfortunately the hunter came towards me with a machete. The hunter swung, the blade towards me, I stubbled backwards like the klutz I am and landed myself on my back with the guy charging towards me. I fired one shot and then one more. 

The body fell on top of me. I could feel his blood on me, god I felt sick and awful. Joel took the hunter off of me, I couldn't understand what he was saying, I could see his mouth moving and see the worry in his eyes. 

Joel's POV

Two shots echoed through the building, the man fell down on top of y/n then silence. I moved towards the two, kicking the body off of y/n noticing the bullet in his bicep, chest and one in his forehead. Blood was splattered across her face and clothes, her hands shaking with the gun still firmly kept in her hands. 

Y/n was beyond pale, I could see it in her eyes, I've seen that look too many times to know it would only be a matter of time before she's vomiting. 

"Hey, hey, darlin' I need you to give me the gun." There was no recognition in her eyes, no acknowledgement that she heard me talking, I slowly crept forward and took the gun from her hand and rested it on the ground before helping her onto her knees. I rubbed her back as she threw up and flinched slightly as little sobs came from her lips once she finished. 

"I-oh god I-I f-fuck. There's so much blood." Her hands shook staring at the blood on her hands, I brought her to her feet, knowing that I couldn't help her here until we were away from the hunters' grounds. I grabbed onto her shoulders, trying to get some senses back to her. 

"Darlin' you gotta come with me, I can't help you until we're safe." Y/n nodded, that shellshock look still on her face. 

++++++

First person's POV 

It came in blurs, going between knowing where I am to flashing back to shooting the hunter, knowing that his blood is still on me and knowing that I killed a man. I felt Joel's hands on my face, forcing me to look at him, was I still crying? I don't know, I don't even know if I had been crying but just feeling all the sadness. 

"I killed a man- Joel, I killed him. How do I make the blood go away?" Joel helped me out of the car, stopping near the creek, Joel lowered me to the ground, using some rag to wipe the blood from my face and guided my hands to the running stream to get the blood off. 

"All gone." It was always nice hearing the gentleness, he didn't really show it much, at least not in the typical way one would think of gentleness, he had his own way. 

"I still killed a man." 

"You did what you had to do to survive. If you didn't you'd be dead or worse being raped and tortured by all those hunters. You did what you could to ensure you stayed alive and safe." The words sounded blunt and not what someone who wanted comforting needed but Joel, he knew what he was doing. 

"Darlin' I'm proud of you, even if it wasn't what you wanted to do. You acted fast and you kept yourself alive and unharmed." Joel, brought me in for a hug, stroking my hair and letting out gentle hums. 

"Come on, get into a change of clothes, we'll wash those clothes later on. You tell me how I can help. What can I do to make the hurt go away?" Joel wiped away a tear, leaving his hand on the side of the creek, doing what he could to try and soothe me. 

"Just hold me once I get out of this?" 

"I can arrange that darlin'" 

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Heavyweight: Chaggie

Buckle up, Buttercups! This is a bit long. Google translate will be your friend.

Charlie: (exiting her office after a 72 hour video meeting and bee-lining towards the bar) UggGHhghhhHHh!!!! I need a DRINK!!!

Alastor: (whirling in out of nowhere) I wouldn't go in there if I were you.

Charlie: (jumps) Holy Shit!!! Fuck! Alastor, can you not do that, please? You nearly gave me a heart attack.

Alastor: So sorry, dear. I'm just warning you before you go anywhere that the bar is in quite the unsavory state right now.

Charlie: What do you mean? Did Cherri invite her biker friends again?

Alastor: Oh, heavens, no! That little manager of yours would never allow that to happen again.

Charlie: Alastor, we've talked about this. Her name is Vaggie. But why is the bar in an unsavory state?

Alastor: (grins wider) Oh, I suppose you'll just have to see it to believe it, I'm afraid. (opens the door to the bar and latin music blares through the hotel)

Charlie: Alastor, I really don't have the mental fortitude to deal with your bipolar-

-Record Screech-

Charlie: -WHY IS VAGGIE BENCHING THE POOL TABLE IN NOTHING BUT A BRA AND HER SKIRT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Hazbins: GO!!! GO!!! GO!!! GO!!! GO!!!

Husker: (counting off Vaggie's reps) Forty-eight! Forty-nine! FIFTY!!!! That's it! Vaggie wins!!!

Vaggie: HA!!! (flips the pool table off to the side and stands up victoriously while speaking Spanish) ¡Toda la razón! ¡Paga, Ángel!

Hazbins: (half cheering and half groaning as money exchanges hands and a few lift Vaggie up like a champion)

Angel: (drunkenly slurring in Italian)

Charlie: And WHY are they speaking like that?!

Alastor: (cleaning his monocle) Ms. Vagatha found out that Angel took a video of your drunken stupor last week and demanded he give all copies to her. He said he would only do it if she out drank him.

Charlie: Again. Not her name. And WHAT?!?!?!?!

Alastor: Needless to say, that woman would do anything for you, so they went shot for shot on something called "tequila". Quite the show, if I say so myself. Angel ended up vomiting in the trash can. They've been arguing in Spanish and Italian ever since. It's almost friendly at this point.

Charlie: BUT WHY IS VAGGIE HALF NAKED?!?!?!?!?!

Alastor: (obviously disgusted by the display but keeping his smile) She didn't want to rip her uniform.

Vaggie: (spots Charlie from her elevated position)

¡Charlie, mi amor!

Charlie: (arrow to the heart as she watches Vaggie hop down and strut over to her, eyes zeroed in on the sway of her girlfriend's hips) Oh, fuck..... I'm in trouble....

Vaggie: (hugs Charlie tight before taking her hand and kissing it) ¿Cómo estuvo tu reunión?

Charlie: (gets goosebumps and blushes) UuuUuUhhhHHHhhh.... V-Vaggie, babe, y-you know I'm not good with my Spanish yet.

Vaggie: Lo sé. (chuckles deeply and looks at Charlie through her long lashes as she snakes her arm around Charlie's waist while the other hand strokes her thumb over Charlie's pulse on her wrist) También sé que te gusta cuando te hablo así en español.

Charlie: (blushing deeper as she wiggles out of her suit jacket and wraps it around Vaggie's shoulders) L-Let's get you covered up.

Vaggie: (smirking as she traces her fingers around the waistband of Charlie's trousers and gently untucks her shirt so she can drag her fingers across the pale skin underneath) Eres tan dulce… y tan sexy cuando te sonrojas.

Charlie: (feels her tail and horns spring up as Vaggie's nails drag across the skin of her hip and tries to corral Vaggie towards the door) OH-KAY!!! L-Let's get you upstairs to bed!

Vaggie: (maneuvers herself so she's escorting Charlie up the stairs leading to their room and uses her wings so that she can hover right next to Charlie's ear from behind) Only if you join me~

Charlie: (thighs pinch together as a spark of electricity jolts through her body and whines) ...oh fuck....

Vaggie: Now, you're catching on~

[gtgbabie0]

Heyyy it’s me again hehe!

I was thinking clumsy reader that always dropping things, tripping over, spooking herself out etc etc. basically Leon goes into a fit of worry when he hears something drop or when she yelps - but she’s just clumsy. Totally 100% not referring to myself here; just so you know.

- Leon Kennedy x reader

Oh my! He would be so very caring!! 💕

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Leon absolutely loves you, his heart is wholly yours. But goodness did you give him heart attacks sometimes. You were clumsy and yet even that felt like an understatement, your clumsiness was something Leon didn’t think was even possible it was that bad, he often felt like he had to baby-proof the entire house.

It was late afternoon and Leon had gotten back from the agency. You were just cleaning up the small stuff around the kitchen whilst he showered and without even noticing your arm must’ve knocked the dish strainer because the next thing you know the whole thing comes crashing down onto the floor, plates, bowls and cutlery all spread out over the kitchen floor with a very loud crash.

Leon’s heart has never dropped so fast, and he’s hit with a sudden overwhelming feeling of nausea. He was just about to blow dry his hair when he heard the crazily loud commotion and a yelp. He’s quick to drop the hair dryer running down the stairs as fast as he can, missing steps as he does.

“I’m okay- I’m alright,” you tell him as he rushes into the kitchen, stopping as he looks at the mess on the floor. His eyes scan over your body to check for any injuries.

“Baby, what the fuck?” He sighs catching his breath as he guides you carefully from the broken porcelain shards, holding your hand gently.

You smirk at him, noticing that he’s shirtless and the way his shower-damp hair sticks to his forehead and tiny little droplets of water trickle down onto his shoulders.

“Don’t look at me like that- you almost gave me heart failure” he says with no control over the smile that teases his lips when you begin to giggle at him.

He feels older than he is around you, and he swears you will give him grey hairs. But then again he couldn’t complain without you he’d be completely and utterly lost in this crazy world.

You watch as his eyes widen ever so slightly looking down at the small little cut that scratches at your arm, it must’ve happened when you bumped into the dish strainer. You sigh looking down at the blood that trickles from the cut.

“Baby, you’ve got to be more careful,” he tells you with an almost firm tone, but you know it only comes from a place of love, he cares far too much about you. He grabs the first aid kit you keep in one of the cupboards, washing the tiny cut with an alcohol wipe before gently sticking the plaster to your minor injury.

He notices the guilt that seeps into your facial expression, how your eyes seem to drop, “I’m sorry, I just don’t want you getting hurt” he whispers, brushing your hair from your face as he presses a loving kiss to your cheek.

You both look over to the mess that still covers your kitchen floor, “God, I made such a mess” you sigh, resting your head against his chest.

“Yeah, good luck with cleaning it” he teases, laughing at the way your groan against him.

You close your eyes as if that would make the mess magically disappear, and his hand settle against your hips.

“You wouldn’t let me clean this all by myself,” you tell him with confidence in your chest.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” He questions tilting your chin with his thumb as he makes you look up at him.

“Because you love me too much” you giggle as he rolls his eyes, peppering kisses all over your face.

“Mhm, come on let’s clean up- and you’re banned from the kitchen for the rest of the night” he says. You smile at him with endearment as you both get to work on cleaning up the of dishes that are spread across the floor.

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[ah0minecchi]

BETTER THAN THE REST…★ (knb x fem!reader)

index ☆ next chapter →

NOW PLAYING! 💿 let me love you - ariana grande

PROLOGUE: “if it feels right, promise i don’t mind.”

<𝟑.𖥔 ݁ ˖

“CMOOON Y/N I DON’T WANNA BE ALL BY MYSELF!!” momoi, my best friend form college, practically screamed through her phone and into my ear.

“you’ll be with your highschool friends, what will i do there? plus, i’m not in the mood to be honest…” i calmly responded. honestly why does she want me to go to that stupid party anyways. i don’t know anybody there besides her. “i can introduce you to my friends! they’re soooo nice i swear! aaaand they’re tall basketball players…” she added suggestively to try and convince me. like a group of men would convince me to do anything… “but tetsu is-“ “yours. i know momoi…” i completed her sentence while giggling a bit. she’s been talking about this ‘tetsu’ nonstop ever since i met her.

“do you have anything better to do anyways?” sounded mean but i knew she asked sincerely. “mmm not really. just cry myself to sleep and watch saiki k.” i responded nonchalantly. “goshhhh please don’t tell me you’re still crying about your ex, y/n… it’s been like AGES since you two broke up.” she whined “two weeks momoi. it’s been two weeks.” i corrected her. “MY POINT EXACTLY!!! maybe you can get your mind off of him tonight… and who knows? someone may help you with that…” she tried to cheer me up, adding a hint of mischief by the end of her sentence.

she was right, i have been digging myself in a hole for two weeks, maybe it is time to get my mind on something else… maybe someone else… just for the night.

“you know what? fuck it, i’ll go with you, but let me borrow that shiny dress of yours.” i said suddenly feeling confident. “DEAL!!” i’ll pick you up at 10. see yaaaa luv yaaaa!!” momoi replied a little too excited, making me laugh before she hung up.

maybe it’s not too bad of an idea. i haven’t been too a party in quite some time, and i’m craving vodka shots and some dancing. even some male attention wouldn’t hurt me… just to boost my ego of course.

i look at my phone. damn, almost 9pm, i should take a shower and pretend that i don’t look like shit right now. i showered, put on some sweatpants while i didn’t have momoi’s dress, did my makeup and straightened my hair. “ate.” i commented out loud looking at myself in the mirror.

9:45. i still have some time to laze around and do nothing. i started wondering how tonight would go. who even are momoi’s friends. curiosity got the best of me, so i opened instagram and started stalking through momoi’s following. i don’t really know their names, just heard of this ‘tetsu’, and momoi’s childhood friend aomine.

i typed his name into the search bar and a private account popped up. fuck, now i can’t go on with my daily dose of stalking. i take a close look at his profile picture. he’s not bad looking at all, but considering he had 2.685 followers and just 108 following, i could assume his ego was through the damn roof.

i gave up on him and look for this ‘tetsu’ boy. kuroko tetsuya was his full name apparently. another private account. why does everyone now seem to be so fucking misterious?. he had a small following and very few followers, seemed low profile. his profile picture showed him smiling with a puppy on top of his head… kinda cute.

i almost got a heart attack when my doorbell started ringing on full fucking blast. it was momoi for sure. i opened the door to my apartment seeing her in a cute black tight dress and a leather jacket. she gave me no time to say hello as she handed me the shiny dress i asked her for and told me to ‘hurry tf up cause the uber would be arriving in no time.’ i hurried to my bathroom, put on the dress, and settled for a pair of converse, since this wasn’t really formal or anything. i took my purse, my phone, and ran to the door to meet my friend there. “stunning! you’ll have all my friends drooling over you! except tetsu, he’s-“ “YOURS I KNOW! and thanks bestie, you look beautiful as well.” i laughed and thanked her.

we got off the elevator and the uber was already there. we then head off to this oh so exciting party… maybe i am excited tho.

“AOMINE COME MEET US AT THE FRONT DOOR WE’RE ALMOST THERE” momoi shouted excitedly into her screen. “jeez… okay just stop screaming into my ear for fucks sake.” the boy responded. he had a deep voice and a tired tone. kinda suits his face.

we finally arrived, when we got to ring the bell, the door opened, showing someone neither of us were expecting.

“kise?!”

a/n: FIRST CHAPTER DONE YESSIR!! ngl i’m excited for what i have planned for this.

LIKES, COMMENTS & REBLOGS are veeerrryy appreciated !! <3

[misscherrys-world]

Kai Anderson x fem. Reader

Warnings: murder.

Love… it should be a sin, when love justifies actions like his, it should be a sin.

I was in his little group, his cult, I fell in love with him silently, unlike Meadow. I was… silent, observant and obsessed. I followed his beliefs and orders, even when he was a misogynistic asshole surrounded by his minions, I didn’t complain.

Even when he took sides with one of his soldiers over me even though I was the one who was wronged in the situation. Don’t get me wrong I don’t tolerate humiliation I got my revenge on that man and caused Kai to kill him because “He’s a mole, that was why I was arguing with him, Kai”, he wasn’t I was just… jealous.

Jealousy, what a dangerous thing. I was a jealous lover to the point of murder. I would kill out of jealousy, but fortunately Kai never drove me that far.

Did he know about my feelings towards him? Yes, we fucked almost 4 times a week, each time he let me sleep in his bed, in his arms. Whispering sweet nothings in my ear, placing soft kisses on my cheeks and lips.

The Kool aid incident, what a day, he gave me the cup himself, looked me in the eyes and said “prove your absolute devotion”.

Now let me tell you something, I love him, I adore him, but I love myself even more. My heart dropped and I got a panic attack that night, after drinking the sugary colored water, I felt sick to my stomach and puked that night in the bathroom of his room.

He stood outside the opened door looking at me with a hint of tenderness. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” I nodded, yes I was pregnant with his baby. 5 weeks, I’ve been carrying a part of him inside my womb for 5 weeks.

You would think his demeanor changed, but no, it didn’t, well just a bit, we still fucked almost every night. He took pride in making me pregnant. And he almost cried because he thought I was losing the baby when he saw spotting on my underwear.

I explained to him of course it’s normal to spot, maybe I got a sensitive cervix. “You should be gentler next time” is all what I said.

Such a shame he didn’t get to see his son. After he was arrested, thanks to that bitch Ally, he didn’t get the chance to see my last pregnancy months. And his murder on the TV by the hands of Beverly. I was breastfeeding my baby at the hospital when the news came out. I was devastated to the point that I wanted to murder everyone.

All I had left was our son, he looked just like him, blondish brown hair, straight nose, he got my eyes, my beautiful honey like eyes. The only remaining of Kai. The only reminder of his existence, the only thing to prove I wasn’t delusional and Kai actually existed in the past.

The love of my life. My biggest sin. Kai Anderson.

[shownusgfayoooo]

A Potions Mishap

Pairing: Seonghwa x f!Y/N

Tropes: Hogwarts au, Slytherin!Hwa, Ravenclaw!reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining

T/W: injury with a knife, feeling dizzy/sick, f word

Words: ~4k

my masterlist

You normally enjoy Potions class, you really do. But, today, the thought of spending the whole afternoon in the dungeons was filling you with a sense of tediousness and dread. Not only was it a perfect summer day- one that you couldn’t even enjoy because of double potions, but it was also exam season- so, even if you hadn’t had class blocking up the whole day, then studying for your N.E.W.T.’s was enough to ruin anyone’s mood. Add a granola bar for every meal for the past two weeks and barely four hours of sleep from the night before, and the equation spelled a truly annoying and exhausting end to your school day.

Noticing the sour look on your face, your friend and fellow Ravenclaw housemate, Hongjoong waved his fork in front of your face. “Earth to Y/N.”

You wrinkled your nose at him. “Whaaaaat?”

“Have you seen the time? We have class in 5 minutes, and – did you seriously not eat anything, again?”

You blinked down at your where your plate should be. Instead, you saw your Potions text, riddled with notes in the margins and covered in pink highlights. To the side sat your plate of food, untouched.

“Ah, shit.”

 Hongjoong began to open his mouth to lecture you before you cut him off, “Just save it- as if you haven’t forgotten to eat because you also got caught up in some project at the table!”

He quickly closed his mouth and gave you a stern smile instead. “At least I don’t do it every day. From tomorrow onwards, if you don’t eat, I will force feed you, I swear.”

You stuck your tongue out at him and finally pulled your sandwich towards you. Still, you only managed a few bites before it was time to go.

You sighed as you walked down the stairs. You were really not looking forward to – before you could even finish the thought, you were attacked from behind. Gasping, you almost lost your balance down the last step, but the perpetrators steadied you. You shot a look of annoyance over both your shoulders at the two banes of your existence.

“Aw, noona. What’s got you sighing like that?” San asked.

“Or should we ask- whoooo?” Wooyoung wagged his eyebrows at you.

You huffed as you pushed them both off. “As if. Try to kill me again, and I’ll hex you so bad you won’t be able to sit your exams, I mean it.”

“Oh, noona. Please hex me. PLEASE. I really don’t wannaa take these fucking N.E.W.T.s.” Mingi added.

You pushed ahead of the three Gryffindor idiots, hiding your smile. “Why do I even bother?”

A low chuckle reached your ears. “I ask myself the same question every day, Y/N.”

Your heart skipped a beat, but you managed to keep your features cool as you turned your head up to Seonghwa who was holding the door to the classroom open for you and the guys. You managed to say hello and thank him before the blush could really bloom on your cheeks and across your nose.

Hongjoong wagged his eyebrows at the look on your face as he took his usual spot next to you at the worktable. He was the only one who knew of your crush on the Slytherin.

It had all started in 6th year. Up until then, Potions had always been taught to you with the Hufflepuffs. As such, you, and Hongjoong for that matter, had never had this class with the Gryffindors or the Slytherins. However, at the N.E.W.T. level, there were barely enough students to fill a single classroom. This is when you first came across Seonghwa in a classroom setting. Even though you were friends with his “band of pirates” as they liked to call themselves, you had never seen or interacted with Seonghwa outside of the group. Here in class, San and Wooyoung were paired up at a workstation, as they had been their whole Hogwarts career, and the same was true for you and Hongjoong. Though Mingi and Seonghwa were from Gyrffindor and Slytherin, respectively, they had never been partners before 6th year. Even though they had always been friends, House always came first. Even you had always paired with Hongjoong, even though you were both close with Yunho who was a Hufflepuff who you had shared Potions with for 5 years.

“I’m telling you, Y/N. We gotta glamour your face or something, you’re as red as a tomato.”

You looked at Joong in horror as your hands came up to cover your cheeks. “Is it really?”

It was at that moment that Seonghwa reached his table and took his seat in front of you two. “Everything alright?” He looked between the two of you.

“Yes, of course!” You laughed awkwardly as you hit Hongjoong on the arm. It sounded a bit too high even to your ears.

Seonghwa’s smile was stiff on his face as he nodded and took his seat, just as your professor started the class.

“Alright class. New orders from above. Today, we are going to be striving towards inter-house unity!”

As the class gave each other unsure looks, the false cheery smile slipped off Professor Nott’s face. “I know it’s annoying guys, but please find a partner from a House that is not yours. And before any of you try to be sneaky- yes, I’m looking at you Mingi- if you already have a partner from a different house, then find a new one! We’re going to be working on the Shrinking Solution today, and you all know that needs two hands for the chopping and stirring that needs to happen at the same time.” The class groaned. “Do not kill me; it was not my idea,” he held up his hands. “Why the Headmaster decides at the very last minute of your academic career to shake things up; I’ll never understand,” he muttered under his breath, not quite successfully.

You stood from your spot with your bookbag, unsure of where to turn. But, before you could even take a breath, Mingi came around your corner of the table, jostling you, and wrapped his arms around Hongjoong. “Dibs!” The Ravenclaw was quick to shrug out of it and yell and start wagging a finger at him, but Mingi just stuck his tongue out at San and Wooyoung across the aisle who were throwing their arms up in the air and giving him the finger.

In the chaos, Y/N didn’t see Seongwa scowl at Mingi as she steadied her balance yet again.

You chuckled and started to make you way over to the Gryffindors you were most comfortable with, before San and Wooyoung quickly and efficiently swapped partners with the Slytherin boys that always sat in front of them, Changbin and Leeknow.

You frowned and quickly let your eyes dart around the whole classroom. Everyone was paired up, except for Seonghwa. He sat calmly at his spot, twirling a quill between his long fingers, almost as if he was waiting for you.

He sensed your gaze and looked up at your from under his long lashes.

“Wanna be my mine?”

Even though you were quick to surmise the true meaning of his not-so-innocuous question, you couldn’t help your eyes from widening as your heart heard a different meaning.

“S-sure, I’ll be your partner.” You took Mingi’s vacated seat quickly and avoided his gaze.

As the class settled, Professor Nott started his brief lecture on the potion. Your knee bounced under the table. You were so aware of every line of Seonghwa’s body, just inches from yours. Did you and Hongjoong sit this close, also? You had truly never noticed. The space between you and the Slytherin felt so heavy with static. Were you moving too much? You stopped shaking your leg, but that lasted two seconds, before your fingers started drumming against the desk.

Seonghwa suddenly leaned forward from his slouched position to place his forearms on the table next to where yours were. His fingers covered the movement of yours.

Your breath caught in your throat, but you kept your eyes on the board, as you felt him lean his head towards yours.

“If you’re so nervous about this potion, Y/N, don’t worry, I’m the top of this class. I’ve got you.” His whisper was a tickle against your ear.

Was it just you being delusional or did all his words have double meanings? You smirked back even as your heat raced in your chest at both his proximity and his teasing words.

You met his eyes briefly to retort back. “Actually, you’ll find that your tied for that position, with me. So, maybe it is I that will be carrying you.”

He smiled back, and your eyes caught in a moment that lasted what seemed like forever, before it was broken by the sound of scraping chairs.

You both blinked before also standing to start your potion. Pink dusted both student’s cheeks, unbeknownst to the other.

“Oh also, class! I know you know this but be careful when you’re chopping the cowbane. Even the juice on your knife is very poisonous blah blah, get to it!” You smiled at Professor T’s cavalier attitude, even though you knew he cared very deeply for his students and educating every generation of students he could be available to.

You and Seonghwa quickly settled into an efficient routine. It was almost like you could read each other’s minds; without even speaking, you both divvied up the tasks in a way that made sense to you. He had already chopped the shrivelfigs and added their juice to the cauldron, while you intuitively prepared the next steps by mincing the daisy root and preparing the hairy caterpillars as he heated the cauldron gently.

You were surprised, as you had never had such chemistry with another Potions partner before. You always had a hard time doing group projects, because you thought you could just do better on your own and were often irritated at having to go at someone else’s slower pace. You and Hongjoong had always worked well together, with the minor bumps caused by his temper tantrums and your passive aggressiveness, but you had thought that he was the best a partner could ever be. As you watched Seonghwa vigorously stir the potion, a step you always hated because your arm always got tired, you realized you couldn’t have been more wrong. You both naturally gravitated towards the different aspects of the potion that you favored and preferred. It was honestly euphoric to be working together like this, and the academic in you was singing with joy.  

You were working on juicing the leeches when the heat of the room started getting to you. The many fires under the cauldrons made it so that the dungeons were sweltering. Somewhere in the room, Wooyoung started screaming that he had accidentally added rose petals instead of daisy root, and the whole class groaned because any first year knows that combining rose to blood from anything made for the most disgusting smell. The fumes started to make you dizzy, and you were suddenly regretting only eating two bites of a sandwich.

Seonghwa paused in his shaking of the rat spleen you had just handed over, barely a tremble to your hand. “Are you okay, Y/N?”

You blinked at him, surprised. “Yes..?”

His eyes looked into yours deeply. You were not used to someone noticing when things were barely off with you. This little bit of dizziness was nothing.

“If you’re sure.” He didn’t look too convinced as he turned to stir the cauldron clockwise.

As you started working on the cowbane, these thoughts took another turn. Not only was he the best partner you had ever had, but he was also so caring and asked after your wellbeing! Your crush reared its big head before you could stifle it down.

You were carefully slicing the second piece of cowbane to render more liquid- the first had not yielded enough for the potion. All of a sudden, the dizziness came back in full force and your vision swam before your eyes. The knife missed its mark and instead imbedded in your thumb. You blinked and swayed.

“Y/N!”

A hand wrapped around your left wrist, while another took the knife out of your right hand.

“Sorry, Seonghwa.” You had ruined the potion. He had stopped stirring because of you.

Along with the dizziness came a new feeling. Your body felt so floaty. Everything was too bright and too loud.

A voice swam in from far away.

“I think the knife had some juice on it, Professor, and she cut herself pretty deep. I’ve been holding pressure, but…”

“No, you did the exact right thing, Seonghwa. Don’t worry; she’ll be okay. We just need to get her to Madame Patil in the hospital wing, and the antivenom will fix her right up.”

There was the sound of a bomb exploding.

“I’ll go take care of San’s potion- he clearly added the rat spleen incorrectly, seeing as it misfired. Are you ok to take Y/N up by yourself?”

“Yes, sir.”

Then, an arm wrapped around your waist to pull you up from your chair. His other arm took yours over his shoulder as he began to take you out of the classroom.

“Seonghwaaa.”

“Y/n, just hang on, ok? We’re going to the Hospital Wing.” He looked down at you.

“You’re too tall.”

He looked down at you, confused, but did not stop his hurried rush across the corridor to the stairs. “Excuse me?”

“My arm hurts at this angle.” Why were words coming out so readily right now? Was it the cowbane?

He brought you both to a standstill. “Um, yea, it’s one of the effects of cowbane poisoning. Sorry, I didn’t realize it was uncomfortable.” You could barely feel alarm that there was no filter between your brain and your mouth through the haziness that was descending over your whole body.

He looked unsurely up the stairs and back at you twice before his face set in determination.

“Ok, Y/N, I’m going to have to carry you.”

“No!” You stepped back shakily. You were definitely too heavy. This was going to be so embarrassing. But, also, it would feel so good probably. To be in his strong Chaser arms. Oh my god. Wait, he could hear everything. This is so embarrassing.

He smiled privately to himself before pulling you closer. “I hate to do this without your consent, but technically, you are not sound of mind and actively have a poison in your system, and Professor told me to get you there as fast as possible, so-”

And with that, he swung you up in your arms, like you weighed nothing and started off up the stairs.

The sudden change of position set your stomach rolling and the dizziness came back with doubled force. You whimpered and burrowed your head further into his neck, forgetting to fight him for manhandling you.

“I don’t feel so good.”

Seonghwa glanced worriedly down at your face which was turning an unhealthy-looking shade of green. “We’re almost there, love. Just hang on. I’m getting you there.”

You whimpered and tried to focus on breathing in and out slowly. Still, even though you were feeling so sick, the comfort and exhilaration of being so close to Seonghwa was not lost on you. If you threw up on Seonghwa right now, you were gonna kill yourself.

“Please don’t. I’d miss you too much.”

“Ugh, please stop reading my mind,” you managed to say between clenched teeth.

He chuckled quietly before depositing you softly onto a bed. Oh, a bed? Was it his bed? What was he going to do? What did you want him to do? Before your brain could come up with incriminating ideas to answer that question, a soft voice interrupted you.

“Oh, thank Salazar she’s conscious.”

“Um, Ms. Y/N, you are in the Hospital Wing.” There was a laughing lilt to her voice before it turned serious. “Mr. Seonghwa told me of the situation that happened in the Potions class, and I have just administered the antidote. It takes effect in 15 minutes, so just try hang on a little bit longer as it clears out the poison in your system. I also administered an anti-emetic, so just breathe in and out so you don’t throw up the antidote, or we’ll have to start all over and you will just feel worse as the cowbane spreads further. Just these 15 minutes, Y/N, and after that you should start to feel better within the hour. I’ll go whip up a hydration potion, also, because your basic diagnostic charm did not look good, young lady.”

You finally blinked open your eyes to see the high ceiling above you. Madame Patil was not wrong in taking extra measures to make sure you didn’t throw up. You felt like a ragdoll thrown at sea. The nausea was overwhelming, and the panic that it was causing wasn’t helping either. Before you could start hyperventilating in full, a hand grabbed yours.

You turned your head to where Seonghwa sat in the chair next to your bed.

“Sh, just focus on me.” He inhaled exaggeratedly and raised his eyebrows at you to follow.

You clamped down your jaw harder and mimicked him. It helped a fraction. Then, the next breath came easier. As did the next.

You don’t know how much time passed, but looking at him helped you hold on and focus even when your whole body was thrown in turmoil. Staring into his eyes and seeing him stare back just as hard at your own anchored you and healed you in more than one way.

You didn’t even realize 15 minutes had passed and that the nausea had stopped until Healer Patil bustled back into the room, a pale pink potion in her hands.

“You did so well, Y/N,” she soothed quietly. At the nurturing tone and the knowledge that you could finally relax a little now, your eyes welled up.

“There, there- none of that. The worst has passed. Now, drink this.”

You wrinkled your nose and glanced at Seonghwa in dread. Rehydrating potions tasted so bad. When will the horrors end?

He shook his head at you sternly. “Hurry up, Y/N.”

“Ugh.” You downed the whole glass, and Healer Patil leaned you back softly onto the headboard.

“All done. Now, you just rest. I’m writing you a pass for classes tomorrow as well.”

“Oh, but-”

She looked down at you sternly. “No buts. I know it’s exam season, Y/N, but if you want to write those exams to the best of your ability, then you need to take care of your body as well as your mind. That means eating well, sleeping enough, and resting when you need to. Your body has just undergone a major ordeal even if it was healed so quickly, so give it the time it needs to recuperate.”

“Okay, okay. I promise I’m not that bad at taking care of myself!”

“Do you think my diagnostics lied to me? You haven’t eaten well in the past week and a half from the looks of it and are severely dehydrated! The poison wouldn’t have worked so fast if you weren’t already so compromised!”

At that, you had nothing to say. The older Ravenclaw nodded and sniffed as she walked away.

That left you alone with Seonghwa. As the haziness of your mind started to clear, the events of the past hour came back to you.

You snuck a glance at him. He looked the most worried you had ever seen him. Even more than when Yeosang had been upset- this sent any of the pirates into a spiral. More than when Jongho had to take a break from Quidditch because of a knee injury. More than any occasion before.

You looked back down at your hands. It was surprising to see the cut that had started this whole fiasco. Though it wasn’t that deep of a gash, it was pretty long, almost the whole length of your thumb. You winced as you prodded at it.

“Oh, here. Let me heal that for you.”

You looked up, surprised. “Oh, that’s okay. It’s not necessary.”

“Yes, it is.” He frowned at you. You were scared at his expression. He had never looked at you like that before. Just what exactly had you said in your state of delirium? What if he hated you now?

Before you could suggest that Healer Patil could do it, he took your hand gently in his and pulled it towards him. He softly muttered the incantation as he waved his wand over the cut, and the cooling rush of his magic tingled all the way up your arm. It was so intimate.

The heady feeling of happiness rushing through your chest at the feel of his magic coming up against yours halted in its tracks. What if he hated you now? His whole demeanor was so off. You had to clear the air.

“Listen, Seonghwa. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for noticing what happened immediately and getting me here so quickly and helping me… And, also, I wanted to say I’m sorry.” You were glaring at where your hands were twisting the sheets, so you missed his look of surprise. “I feel bad that you had to take care of me and that I took time out of your learning time, especially when we know that the Shrinking Solution is probably gonna be tested on the N.E.W.T.s, and I – I , whatever I said, I’m sorry. If you could just tell me what I said that offended you, I promise I probably didn’t mean it. Or if I did, then I can just explain-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” His hands covered both of your own.

You looked up at him, your lip between your teeth.

“Who said I’m mad? I’m not. I promise.”

“But you- you looked so serious just now.”

“Well, yea! Of course, I am.” He ran his hands through his hair agitatedly. “But not because I’m mad that I had to take care of you or leave class because of you or any dumb reason you just came up with right now.” He smiled at you.

You laughed weakly. “O-oh.”

He looked up at the ceiling and muttered under his breath, “Fuck it.”

His hand came up to wrap around your own again. “Y/N, I was worried. Just now. That’s why I looked so serious. And who wouldn’t be when you hear that the girl you’re in love with pushes herself so hard that she is physically unwell? That a Healer who was trained for years had to spell that out so clearly for you?”

Where the poison couldn’t finish the job, his words just had- your heart was stopped. But that was surely impossible, because you could feel the telltale burn of blood across your cheeks. Could a girl still blush if her heart was stopped? You dropped your gaze to your hands again.

He chuckled quietly at the look on your face and leaned impossibly closer still.

“But, you don’t have to worry. I won’t look so serious again, because I figured out a solution to my problem.”

“What’s that?” Why was your voice so shaky?

“Since you won’t do it yourself, I’m just going to have to take care of you.”

You looked at his eyes, his impossibly soft brown eyes. And you saw reflected in them for the first time the same feelings you had harbored for him in your own the past two years.  

You teared up at the sudden revelation, the tenderness with which he spoke, and the utterly gentle care you had received from him. And you just knew- this was it. This was it for the rest of your life. He smiled back at you just as brightly as you both were quiet in the reverence of such a moment shared between two souls.

The sudden bang of a door could be heard, not from the entry to the wing but from the Healer’s private office. It signaled that she had stepped out. Seonghwa tilted his head and then smirked mischievously at you before quickly climbing into the bed with you.

“Hey!” You laughed as you poked him in the side.

“Don’t act like this isn’t sooo comfortable for your poor healing-from-a-poison body right now.”

“Mm, I can’t deny that.” Now that you were not nauseous or dizzy or delirious anymore, your body felt like it had been hit by a truck. You sighed against his chest and his arms squeezed around you tighter, only this time you could properly enjoy it.

The silence was peaceful.

“Now, I know I’m in your bed, Y/N, but please try to keep your thoughts a little innocent for now. You’re sick, you know. When you feel better, we can revisit all those things you wanted me to do to you in a bed, ok?”

“Shut up!”

[kiiwiigii]

The Red-Eyed Boy pt. iii

Pt. One | Two | Outtake

Alec x Swan!Fem!Reader

Summary: Alec returns and shows you how sorry he is. *wink, wink*

Warnings:

Smidge of angst

Smidge of bondage

Straight up smut

Word Count: 3,130

A/N: Today I learned that suck at writing smut, but please enjoy anyways. As with all my Alec fics, he is aged up. Also, I am fucking obsessed with this gif.

Tags: @rosedpetal, @lack-lust-3r, @badass-daisy-22

Alice and Bella eyed me warily from their spot on the kitchen table as I padded around the kitchen. It was my turn for dinner tonight and I was working on a new recipe.  

"Please stop looking at me like that. I'm not about to keel over dead and I'm definitely not about to poison Bella right before she gets married." 

I grinned when Bella scrunched up her nose in annoyance. 

"You're not gonna die because you're tied to Edward through a piece of paper, Bells." 

"Says you." She grumbled. 

"Have you heard from him?" Alice asked softly. 

"No." I pursed my lips. 

It had been nearly two weeks, and I hadn't heard a damn thing from Alec. I had called and texted only to be ignored and left on read. I knew he'd be mad, but for the love of God, he was taking this too far. I just wanted to strangle him. I had spent the first week moping before trying to shake myself out of it. I refused to let myself fall into the state that Bella had after Edward left. 

Although it was really hard not to. I still had my moments, usually in the evenings when I was alone. 

I paused in the middle of chopping an onion, looking over my shoulder at Alice. Her visions were the only thing I could really count on right now, unless I had a vision of my own. Unfortunately, sleep had been avoiding me, and when I did sleep nothing came to me. 

She shook her head sadly, indicating that she hadn't seen anything. Yet. However, she also hadn't seen anything different from her previous visions, so nothing had really changed, and that gave me hope. 

"So, Y/N, we have your first dress fitting tomorrow." Alice, thankfully, changed the subject.  

"Ooh yay! Do I get to see Bella's dress?" 

Bella groaned before plonking her head onto the table. She was so easy to tease. 

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you didn't want to marry me." Edward entered the kitchen, shrugging off his jacket. 

I smiled watching them all together, happy to watch the little scene from afar. Eventually I had to turn back around, doing my best to hum a tune in my head, both to distract myself from the situation with Alec and so Edward wouldn't pick up on my depressing thoughts. This should be a happy time. 

Somehow, I don't think I was fooling anyone. 

It was official. I hated weddings and anything to do with them. I was almost positive that had I not been in a house full of vampires, Rosalie would have stuck a few pins in me on purpose.  

It was dark by the time I finally arrived home, and all I really wanted to do was shower and pass out on my bed. Keeping up a relatively happy façade almost 24/7 was exhausting. 

The house was dark, and I suddenly remembered that dad was out on one of his camping trips with a friend. Well, at least I would have the house to myself, and I could be as depressed as I wanted. 

I went straight to my room to gather some pajamas and a towel. I almost felt too tired to even shower, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to make sure I do some basic self-care. Throwing my bag onto the bed, I began to strip. 

"You should keep your window locked." 

I jumped and let out a scream, quickly covering myself, dress already hanging half off. 

It was Alec, propped up on my bed, another book in hand. How had I not seen him?? I even threw my bag in his direction. 

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I wheezed at him, trying my best to get my racing heart back under control. 

"Not particularly." His eyes roamed over me, from head to toe, his eyes lingering on my neck, where my pomegranate seed necklace hung. And then the dangling straps of my dress. "You look beautiful, tesoro." 

I blinked rapidly, trying my best to figure out what the hell was happening. I hadn't heard from Alec in nearly a month and here he was, just sitting here. In my room. On my bed. As if nothing had ever happened.  

"Where have you been? Why have you been ignoring me?"  

He simply eyed me before closing the book with a thump.  

"I was extremely… angry. There was a while where I did not really have control of myself. I even scared Jane." He admitted. "I didn't want to take it out on you. Or for you to see that side of me." 

I glared at him. 

"So, you just disappear without a word? Didn't bother telling me that you were okay and that you just needed space? You're aware that I've had visions of you since I was like, six years old, right? I've seen you angry." 

"Not like this, you haven't." He said quietly. 

"Do you know what I thought? I thought you had left me. Despite whatever Alice's visions tell her, I know that they can change at the drop of a hat. I was just sitting here waiting, praying that you wouldn't change your mind." 

Fuck, here come the tears. 

He was next to me in a heartbeat, hands cupping my face. I tried to back away, but he kept his grip firm. 

"I would never leave you, Y/N." He said softly, wiping the tears away. "Ever. I have never been good at relationships. I have always kept myself at arm's length, but you, you are different. And when I saw you on that field, after the battle, I had never been so scared and angry in my life." 

He paused for a minute, searching. "Had I lost you, I would have burned the world down." 

My breath hitched in surprise, and I could feel my heart skip a beat. He kissed me then, and I allowed it, wrapping my arms around his neck as he reached for my waist. His kiss was soft and controlled, while mine was bordering on desperation. 

"Don't you ever do that to me again." He whispered against my lips, a warning. 

Why did that turn me on and piss me off at the same time? 

"I'm sorry, what was that? Because it sure didn't sound like an apology, Alec." 

He pulled me flush against him, nipping at my collarbone in reproach. I hissed in pain, but he quickly soothed it over with his tongue. 

"Then let me show you how sorry I am." He whispered. 

He pulled me in for a heated kiss and I couldn't help but gasp. Alec took the opportunity to dip his tongue into my mouth again, and the moan that worked its way up my throat had him growling possessively. 

I could already feel my nipples tightening and the wet heat between my legs. 

I grabbed him by the collar to pull him closer. He gladly obliged and before long, he had me pressed into the bed, right underneath him, his lips giving slow languid kisses anywhere he could reach. 

"Alec." My voice was caught in my throat. 

Goddammit. He hadn't even gotten me out of my clothes before he had me begging. Hell, he had barely even touched me.  

And I was supposed to be mad at him, dammit! 

He paused, lips at the swell of my breast. Finally, he lifted himself up so he could look me in the eye, searching my face. 

"Do you trust me?" 

I nodded my head furiously. 

"I need to hear you say it, Y/N." 

"I trust you." 

I was practically panting. 

Alec produced a long strip of gauzy fabric and slowly tied my hands together, gauging my reaction, before putting them above my head. 

"Did you come prepared with that?" I gaped at him. 

"No. I took it from your bag." He smirked. 

My bag? Since when did he have the time to go through my bag? I looked at my tied wrists again, trying to wrack my brain as to why I had a long ass strip of- 

'Oh my god.' 

It was the sash to my bridesmaid's dress. I know I hadn't put it in there. The last time I had seen it- Alice. She fucking knew. She had to. She had a vision and didn't even tell me. Granted, if this was a part of her vision, I would be highly embarrassed to hear her explain exactly what she saw. 

"Now." Alec put my hands above my head again, and then trailed his own hands down my arms to my collarbone, thumbing over the mark he had placed on it earlier. "Your hands stay put above your head until I say otherwise. If they do not, I stop. No matter what I am in the middle of." He warned, pausing to make sure that I understood. "Are you okay with this? If not, we can stop." 

I shook my head back and forth frantically. 

"Y/N, I need you need to say it out loud." 

"Yes." I breathed. 

"Good. If you become uncomfortable at any point you are to tell me." 

"Yes sir." It was out of my mouth before I even realized it and I blushed furiously. 

"Are you sure you're a virgin?" He teased. 

"Why don't you find out for yourself?" I teased back, a little breathless. 

Alec's brows raised before he smirked, leaning in closer, mouth right next to my cheek. 

"I think I am going to enjoy this very much." His hands began to make their way past my collar bone to cup my breasts through the fabric of my dress, his thumbs flicking slowly back and forth over my nipples.  

My back arched in a gasp, and he let out a hum, pleased with my reaction. Soon I felt more and more skin being exposed to the cool night air, his cold lips and tongue following right behind it, licking and nipping his way until, aside from my bra, I was fully exposed from the waist up. I blushed as he sat back, admiring the view. 

"You are truly beautiful, mio cara." He breathed.  

His cold hands caressed every inch of exposed skin, purposely avoiding the spots that I wanted him to touch the most. I pouted up at him and he swiped a thumb across my lip. 

"I must admit Y/N, I like seeing you like this. And I think you like it too." 

Slowly, I gave his thumb a long lick before sucking it into mouth. His eyes darkened even further, and I could practically feel the rumble of possessiveness in his chest. 

"Careful, amore." His voice was now husky and strained. 

I released his thumb, edging my teeth along the sides and cocked an eyebrow at him. "I thought you were supposed to be apologizing." 

His eyes were now pitch black. 

"I think you forget who's in control here." 

I let out a squeak as he moved aside and ripped my dress the rest of the way down, leaving me in just my bra and panties. He settled himself between my legs, to nip and kiss his way along the inside of my thighs. 

I sucked in a sharp breath when he placed a kiss right over my covered mound, and then nuzzled into it. My hands jerked and he looked up at me, remaining still. 

"Hands, amore." He chided. 

I immediately put them back in place, wriggling my hips in anticipation. Finally, he slid my panties down, revealing my inner most self, glistening and wet just for him. 

"Perfect." 

It was the only thing I heard before his mouth was on me and my back arched off the bed yet again.  

Keeping perfect eye contact with me, he gave me long slow licks, delving into me with his tongue. And then he found my clit. I couldn't help it, I cried out, my hands immediately coming down to lace themselves through his hair. 

This wasn't an apology; this was fucking torture.  

He paused with a growl. 

"Hands, amore." 

"But- but-" 

He lifted himself up slightly, a warning look in his dark eyes. "Hands." 

"Alec." I whined, wriggling my hips again and trying push him back down. "Please." 

"You know the rules, principessa." 

"Did you just call me princess?" 

He just smirked. "You're learning. Now, hands. If I have to tell you again, I will tie you to the bed." 

'You just may have to do that.' I thought. 

He watched me for a moment more before slowly lowering himself back down, wrapping his arms around my thighs to keep my hips level. He began his slow assault on me yet again and I did my absolute best to keep my arms above my head. It was working so far... barely. 

Before long I could feel a warm heat beginning to build low in my stomach.  

"Oh god, please don't stop." I chanted. "Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop." 

I wasn't entirely sure what was happening, all I knew what that it felt good, and he absolutely had to keep going. Otherwise, I was sure I was going to die right then and there. 

And then the bastard stopped. 

"Alec." I let out a low whine. 

He crawled back up to me, placing a kiss on my lips and I groaned at the taste of my arousal on him.  

"No cumming just yet, amore." He swept his tongue along my lips. "The only cumming you will be doing is on my cock." 

I almost choked. "Have- have you always been this dirty?" 

"You have no idea." He bit my earlobe and I squirmed at his words. “And this is only just the beginning.” 

"Well, it looks like won't be doing much of anything, since you're still dressed." 

"That can easily be remedied." 

My eyes widened as he slipped off his shirt. I had always known he was muscular but there was a big difference between feeling it and seeing it. Next came his pants and underwear, and I’m pretty sure my brain stopped working. 

How was that going to fit?? 

"Like what you see?” 

I simply nodded my head, my mind still trying to process the situation I was in... and the fact that his cock was rather... large. 

He leaned over and began untying my hands. I raised a brow at him. 

"I want you clinging to me when you cum." 

Oh fuck. 

My hands immediately went to explore his naked chest when he caught my hand and kissed my fingertips. 

"Are you still okay?"  

"Alec, I swear to God if you don't fuck me-" 

He cut me off, crushing his lips to mine and I suddenly felt him nudging at my entrance. He sat back briefly, rubbing himself in my juices, preparing. 

"Eyes on me, amore." 

I swiftly looked back up at him. I don't think I could have taken my eyes off him in that moment. 

Finally, finally, I felt him enter me ever so slowly. I let out a hiss of pain, my hands clutching desperately at the sheets, and he stopped, letting me adjust for a minute, all the while never breaking eye contact. This, this was something else. I had never felt so full.  

"Fuck, you're tight." 

I let out a whimper. 

"It's okay, mio cara." He kissed away the tears from my face, I hadn't even realized that I was crying. "I'm going to move now." 

And boy did he move. It took a few thrusts before the pain subsided and then I felt as if I was flying. He kept his thrusts steady and deep, his hands roaming my sides before cupping my breasts and placing gently kisses along the edges. And then proceeded to close his mouth on one of my nipples through the lace.  

"Alec." 

He didn't reply, deciding to suck harder and scrape against the sensitive buds with his teeth instead. If he kept this up, I wasn't going to last long, and I think he knew it. He sat up again, but this time he angled my hips up and I was suddenly seeing stars. He was hitting my sweet spot now and I couldn't contain my moans any longer. I could feel it building, and building, and building.  

"Don't you dare stop." I panted. 

"Eyes on me, darling." He ordered, grabbing my face, and making me look him in the eyes. "I want to see the look in your eyes when I make you come on my cock." 

Oh, God. He was speaking to me in Italian, and I didn't have the slightest clue as to what he was saying, but it was hot. 

"Alec, please. Make me cum. I want to come." 

"Fuck, so tight for me." He thrust harder and I could feel the walls of my pussy starting to tighten up. "I want to see you come undone around me." 

"A-Alec!" 

He forced me to look up at him again as I came hard, legs wrapping around his waist as he nearly collapsed on top of me. If I was seeing stars before, now I was suddenly seeing a whole fucking galaxy. 

"Fuck." He kissed me deeply as I felt him spasming inside me, cool liquid coating the walls of my pussy. 

He hovered like that for a long moment, his kisses turning into soft, languid ones, his hands roaming in even softer caresses. Finally, he pulled out of me, and let his eyes wonder over me. I'm sure I looked a mess, but he seemed to like what he saw, judging by the smirk on his face. 

"Come, amore. Let's get you cleaned up." 

"I don't think I can walk." I closed my eyes, doing my best to breathe and not die from great sex. 

"I can definitely help you there." 

I nearly yelped as he lifted me from the bed bridal style. 

"Is this your way of saying you want shower sex?" I wriggled my eyebrows at him. 

"I had not really thought of it, but if you insist." 

I laughed and snuggled into his chest. 

He paused a moment, really looking me over now. "I am truly sorry, Y/N. For everything." 

I placed a hand on his cheek. "Apology accepted." 

NEXT - (Outtake)

{Masterlist}

Translation (Done via Google): Tesoro: Darling/Treasure  Mio Cara: My darling.  Principessa: Princess 

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[gh0stw1f3]

Carl w a reader who isn't shy about wearing revealing clothing, especially on hot days, because they're super skilled or whatevr but that usually makes them subject to some of the nastier Alexandria occupants. After a particularly nasty harassing, he defends her, she finds it hot, and then, bam, smut.

Reward (Carl Grimes x Reader - Smut)

WARNING: Not Proof-read, Oral (male receiving), penetration, almost getting caught, violence (non-sexual), sexual harassment/assault

Georgia is hot. VERY hot. It being in the south and all. The heat was unbearable. Before the apocalypse, you lived in the East Coast. You went through winters and hot summers but not as hot as the ones in Georgia. So to help, you wore short shorts and spaghetti strap tank tops.

Rick would tell you to cover up but you were comfortable with your fighting skills. You never let a walker get its mouth anywhere near your skin. He gave up trying to convince you after you survived multiple walker attacks.

You were walking to the front gate, about to go on a run for even more clothes.

“Hey!” you turned your back to see an Alexandria citizen. You didn’t know him well but you always noticed his eyes on you, scanning your legs and various other parts.

“Hey Alex, what’s up?”

“Let me join you on your run… maybe get to know each other,” his eyes looking you up and down.

“No, I can do it myself,” you turned back to the gate and walked. You were pulled back by the man grabbing your hand. He brought you close to him and put a hand on your waist, squeezing it.

“C’mon darling, just a lil date… maybeeee I can show you a good time,” he snaked his hands to your ass, squeezing it against your shorts.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” you smacked his hand. Carl had just come out of his house, leaning against the fence. Watching you and the man.

He was pissed when you rejected him. In response to your smack, he pressed you against him. “Don’t fucking give me attitude. Why’d you dress like that if you didn’t want attention?” he whispered, his hand now on your breast.

“Get off her!” Carl grabbed his shoulders, causing Alex to fall back. He hit his head hard on the concrete ground. Carl put his boot on the man’s hand, slowly putting pressure on it. “You ever put your fucking hands on her or ANYONE else, I’ll make sure your out there, walking with the walkers,” he fully squeezed his hand with his shoe. Alex’s legs kicked as he screamed in pain.

“Okay! Okay! I won’t get anywhere near her!” he screamed.

“Don’t even fucking look at her,” he spat.

“Yes! I won’t,” his fingers wiggled under his boot. Carl then lifted his foot up, letting the man stand up. Carl grabbed his head and brought it to his face. You stood there, in shock of Carl’s aggressive behavior but yet… it made you feel safe. The safety you lacked during the apocalypse.

Carl grabbed the mans shirt and punched him across the face, blood coming out of Alex’s nose. As his head plunged back due to the force, Carl grabbed his head and brought it bloodied face to your face. Your eyes full of shock. “Say you’re sorry,” he demanded. “You’re sorry for assaulting her,” you brought your eyes to Carl, his eye full of anger.

The man made full eye-contact with you, his eye forming a bruise. “I-I’m sorry,” he looked down. Carl shook his head.

“For…?”

His eyes focused back on you.“For grabbing your tits and ass. And… assaulting you,” He finished. Carl pushed Alex towards the direction away from you and allowed him to run away. Carl turned around, focusing on you. He grabbed your shoulders.

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you did he?” he worried. You felt arousal run through you. Having a pretty boy protect you from the hands of of other men.

“I’m fine… thank you Carl,” you thanked as you wrapped your arms around his torso. Carl jumped at your sudden touch. You could hear his heart beat against your ear. The beats intensifying. You brought your chin so it was resting on his chest.

“Here, let me give you a reward,” you cupped his face before taking his hand and leading him back to his house.

“Oh, I don’t need a reward… all I wanted to do was help,” he tried to convince you.

“I think you’ll like this reward,” you opened the door to his house and closed it.

“No one’s home right?” you asked, walking up the stairs and searching for a bedroom. Carl shook his head. “Good.”

You opened the door to a nice bedroom, it clean. “What are we doing in my dad’s room?” Carl wondered before you pushed him against the closed door. You locked it behind it.

“Thanks so much for protecting me, Carl,” you cooed, pressing your boobs against his chest. Carl breathed nervously.

“It was no probl-“ you intertwined your fingers with his and put them against the wall.

“You were so hot out there. Punching and beating him for my honor. And look at your knuckles,” you whispered, holding his hand to his sight. “All bloody and bruised,” you kissed his knuckles as if it were to heal them.

“What…” he gulped. “What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna show you how thankful I am,” you put your hand behind his neck and kissed him passionately. Carl was surprised but not wanting to miss the opportunity to hold you, he kissed you back. He snaked his hands under your tank, going up to squeeze your boob gently.

He separated your lips. “Are you sure? After what that guy did?” He stopped the hand on your boob. You smiled.

“I only want you to touch them,” you cooed. You put your hand on top of his and made him squeeze and massage your boobs. Carl blushed intensely. You let go of his hand and continued to make out with him. He continued the massage, pinching your nipples slightly. You pushed your hips against him and brought your hand to squeeze his bulge, causing him to jump. You chuckled, feeling him grow against your touch. Carl moaned into the kiss as you rubbed. You unzipped his pants and slid them slightly pass his hips, doing the same to his boxers.

You wrapped your hands around his shaft, rubbing up and down and teasing his tip. He put his hand on your waist, causing you to arch your back as he breathed against your lips.

You stopped the kiss and slid down his body, now on your knee in front of his cock. You pecked your lips against his tip and put it in your mouth. You enjoyed the look on his face.

“You like it, don’t you?” you flirted with half-lidded eyes. Carl nodded, his hand on your head. “We can do this every night… as long as you keep protecting me against creepy men,” you kissed his cock. You were now deepthroating him as you put a hair behind your ear. Carl groaned as his cock twitched in your mouth. You glided your tongue under his member. Your cheeks hollowed as you sucked.

Carl started to push his cock into you, making your head shake to the movements of his thrusts. His drool landing on the top of your head. He flung himself forward as he pushed your head. His breathy moan accompanied by the hot liquid coming in your mouth.

His cum seeped from your mouth to your chin as he let out the finals moans and slow thrusts. You heard a plop when he removed his cock from your mouth, it shaking from the release. You opened your mouth for Carl to see. His eyes fixated on you as you swallowed it.

He took your hand and helped you stand up. You immediately stuck your tongue in his mouth. He breathed in the cum that was previously in your mouth. You lifted your leg against him. Carl impatiently tugged your shorts and panties down. He grabbed your ass and pulled you up so your legs were wrapped around his hips. The hands on your ass supporting you so you wouldn’t fall. The heat from both of you already had you hot and bothered. You lifted your ass as Carl put his cock slowly in you.

You gripped his shoulders tighter, feeling it hit your deep end. You hugged him close as he kept his cock in your pussy, not moving it.

You bounced slightly on his dick before he turned around so your back was against the wall. Carl began thrusting his cock in you. In and out. At a slow pace.

Carl felt his cock cling against your walls as you left scratches on his shoulders. He pushed faster now into you, your moans brushing against his ear. Carl lifted your ass up and down, using his strength.

You were about to let out a scream before Carl forced his hand over your mouth, causing your moans to be breathy. You tried to be quiet when you heard the sounds of footsteps up the stairs.

“Fuck… It’s my dad,” Carl breathed as his hips still slapped against your pelvis. When Rick tried to open the locked door, Carl tried to slowly and quietly thrust into you. You bit his neck in order to stay quiet.

Your head was next to the door frame as you felt the vibrations of Rick’s knocking. “Carl…?” Carl’s eyes widened as he took in a deep breath. “What are you doing in there?” Rick’s voice muffled from the barrier.

Carl looked at you for help. You tried to get him to stop penetrating you but he couldn’t. He wanted to keep feeling your warmth.

“I’m uuh looking for something!” Carl let out quietly as his thrusts got a little harder. You moaned against his hand.

“Okay, can you get me my huntin’ knife?” Rick leaned on the door as he heard the small slams on the wall. You looked around to try and help Carl find the knife. You turned to your right and there it was. The hunting knife. You grasped it from its handle. Carl was still pounding into you, your hands shaking while you slightly opened the door. You made sure Rick couldn’t see entirely what was happening. You took your hand out and held the knife, waiting for Rick to get it.

Rick stared. Realizing that the hand wasn’t of Carls. He smirked when he noticed the little rings you had around your fingers, letting Rick know EXACTLY who Carl was with. Your fingers and hands were trembling hard now so Rick grabbed the knife before you could drop it.

“Thank you… Y/N,” he snickered before walking down the stairs. Goosebumps stood on your body as Carl pounded deeper into you.

“He… He knows, Carl,” you cupped his face as he breathed against your lips.

“I don’t care… I just want you,” he moaned before bringing you into a passionate kiss. Carl pushed deep inside you, every thrust pushing frames off the walls. You hugged his waist tighter as your legs began to loose balance.

You kissed the side of his neck sloppily. You were thinking about the awkward conversation you were going to have with Rick. But when Carl grabbed you and put your back against the bed that his dad slept on, all you could think of was your orgasm. Carl plunged into you as the bed creaked. Your walls tightened around him as his thrusts were sloppy.

You left scratch marks on his back as you both bucked your hips towards each other. Your breathing calmed down as did Carls. Carl kissed your neck before getting up and sitting on the bed naked. “I’ll make sure no one else touches you,” Carl looked over your restless body. You pulled him down and cuddled against his chest.

“Only you,” you pecked his cheek before wrapping your arms around his torso.

[ramblingautisticman]

Favorite cameo in the movie and then if you want to you can write a small snippet of them interacting with the characters in a way that they didn't in the movie that you wish they did

Honestly, favourite camoe is probably Laura, and I hate that we didn't really see all that much of her!

Obviously we have that scene where her and Logan talk around the campfire, and then scene with her and Logan at the end around the table with Mary Puppins, but I would have loved to see more- especially her interacting with Wade!

I feel like they would get along really well, Laura finds the childishness of Wade refreshing and it shows her that she can still be a kid, even if she has grown up. And Wade loves getting to be steppool to her, taking her to the mall and watching rom-coms together while eating ice cream.

Obviously, that's more of a wishful thinking than something that would happen in canon.

In the movie? I think I would have loved to see a scene at the end where she talks to Wade. Thanks him for looking after Logan and keeping him safe, for getting her out of the void and getting a second chance at a life with her dad (even if it isn't her real one), so here is alittle snippet of that! I'm honestly thinking of writing a full blown fanfiction of the three of them being a family- they deserve happiness for once (let's be real, I would write the angstiest shit but ya know, they will be happy eventually)!

---------------------------------------------------

Wade hadn't really thought much about Laura coming back to stay with them. He had assumed that, after she was able to return back to this universe, she would want to stay close to Logan and Logan would want to stay close to her. Since Logan was staying here- well- it just made sense she would too.

Sure, it would be a tight fit, but Wade had grown a soft spot for both Logan and Laura already, and so had Al. He was actually worried he might get kicked out so the other two had more space, considering how Al had been treating them so nicely. Maybe she had just snorted a really good batch of cocaine.

Once everyone had left the dinner, Wade started the washing up while Logan was sorting the trash. Usually he would just let it build and build until he had no more plates or until the table was covered- but he knew the two Wolverines wouldn't appreciate the smell- so he had decided to clean them now. Because he was a good host.

He had been humming to himself as he scrubbed the plates, in his own little world completely, before letting out a loud shriek at the sudden sight of Laura next to him. "Jesus Laura! Almost gave me a heart attack!" Wade yelled, soap and water now splashing everywhere as he flailed his arms about, looking at the culprit of his close encounter with death. "Your like a fucking ninja- how were you so quiet?"

Laura just looked at him with an unimpressed expression, her arms crossed firmly over his chest. "Okay- now I'm not shitting myself- if there something I can help you with baby Peanut?" He asked with a wide smile, clasping his hands together infont of him.

"Don't call me that." She mutterd before glancing away and speaking again. "I...thank you. That's all. You kind of saved my ass- and Logan's- so....thank you. I'm glad you...found him. Kept him safe.....brought him back- back to me.." Laura spoke quietly, not looking at Wade, clearly not used to saying this kind of thing.

It was silent for a second, then Wade was quickly wrapping his arms tightly around Laura, not giving a fuck that his arms and shirt are wet from washing the plates. "Awwwwww baby Peanut! Your so sweet! I am glad I found you both- two amazing strays I get to keep! Even if I technically kidnapped one of you from their home!" He rambled, a huge smile now on his face.

And yes, Laura did stab him for hugging her, but Wade thought it was worth it.

(Honestky, it's not like the best writing I've ever done, but I love the idea so much lmao!)

[sweeter-than-teafood]

Sitri Attacker Card - Chapter Four

TW: Smut, Sitri is now having a good time, Dom!Sitri, Cardiophilia, Dirty Talk, Clitoral Stimulation, Overstimulation, Sex,

A loud moan escaped Sitri’s lips, his eyes wide at the lewdity of the human under him. His breathing became uneven as the blood rushed to his face.

“Oh Solomon! Why did you do that, that’s too much aphrodisiac, even for you! …! Your heart… Ohhh f-fuck… It’s beating so hard right now….”

Ra-On tangled her fingers in his hair yet again, attempting to ground her senses as she could feel her heart pound within her chest. Her breathing became shaky, though her voice was laced with seduction.

“I did it because… I wanted to… What are you going to do about it, hm?”

Sitri gazed at her, pupils blown wide with lust. Ra-On had beaten him at his own game, his urge to act unfairly undone by just her tongue and hand.

His hand wandered up to her chest, pressing his palm to her sternum.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

He let out a shaky moan, “O-oh fuck! I can’t hold back anymore. Not when your heart is beating like this.”

Sitri’s lips crashed against Ra-On’s, much more lustful than the initial kiss. He guided her hands to rest above her head, before clasping them together with one hand.

If he wasn’t hungry before, he was starving now. He swallowed her moans with a fervour that was unlike his usual calm, collected self.

His fingers slipped between her thighs again to rub her clit, maintaining a steady tempo of calculated flicks and strokes.

Ra-On’s hips rolled against the devil’s hand, and her thighs began to tremble as she felt her senses climb the mountain to sweet release. Finally! 

“A-Ah! Sitri! I’m gonna cum!”

As soon as those words were frantically uttered, Ra-son’s body tensed up as waves of pleasure rippled through her body, while a release of chemicals gave her brain a high like no other.

Sitri watched as the human lost herself in an orgasm, his fingers still gently helping her ride it out. Once Ra-On’s hedonistic tremors subsided, he laid his ear against her chest.

“Solomon… Your heartbeat… It sounds so alluring like this.” He whined, squeezing his thighs together.

*Slick*

He retracted his hand from between her legs, before bringing the wet fingers up to his lips.

*Lick*

His tongue caressed the tips, savouring the taste of the fluids that coated them. He let out a satisfied hum, before leaning up to whisper in her ear.

“Mm, you taste so good. I need you… Every bit of you. I want you all to myself, Solomon.”

He palmed his cock, slicking it with his saliva and Ra-On’s fluid. It throbbed almost painfully, already leaking precum.

Sitri pressed the tip against her entrance, sliding it between her folds. Then suddenly—

“Mmph!”

He buried himself deep inside, feeling the warmth that surrounded his cock.

*Thrust*

Ra-On gasped, as Sitri began thrusting into her. starting off slow and gentle, before it became oddly rhythmic. She had her suspicions about the rhythm of the devil’s ministrations; how they were consistently timed. 

Her theory was confirmed as she glanced up at Sitri, whose eyes were closed as he seemed to be focusing on something she couldn’t hear. His voice sounded soft and sweet as he murmured,

“Ah… Your heartbeat, it’s so nice to listen to… But… Mm…It’s even better to fuck you in time to it.”

Ra-On moaned in response to the pretty devil’s dirty talk. Her eyes glazed over as she found herself coming again.

Her hands wandered up his chest, snaking around his back. With every passionate thrust, her fingers curled against the taut muscles of his shoulders, searching for something to grip onto.

Nails dug into skin, leaving multiple scarlet claw marks against milky flesh, and her hands constantly cycled between slipping and regaining purchase. Sitri let out a feral growl, as the pain turned him on further.

“Ohh, Solomon! F-Fuck…”

He drove his cock into her, harder and faster, and his lips trailed down her neck, before he gently sunk his teeth in, sucking on her skin.

He left lovebites wherever he could reach; a constellation of wet violet circles trailed down from her neck, across her collarbones, and ending directly over her heart.

All this stimulation tipped Ra-On over the edge once more, as her moans became screams of pleasure.

Sitri wasn’t done with her yet though, his thumb swept across her clit as it traced circles against the increasingly wet nub.

“Oh, that’s it. I make you feel so good, don’t I? Say my name. I want the whole palace to hear who’s fucking you.”

Ra-On whimpered, “S-Sitri…”

The devil picked up the pace with both his fingers and hips, not satisfied with her response as he snarled, “No, darling, that’s not even loud at all.”

Solomon’s Descendant yelped as she could feel another orgasm brewing,

“A-Ah! Sitri!”

Sitri scoffed as he drove his hips deeper, his cock kissing a sensitive bundle of nerves within Ra-On’s body, “Louder. I want you to scream my name as you come undone on my cock.”

Ra-On moaned as stars swam before her eyes. The sensation that pooled below was more intense than before, building from the multiple orgasms that had already occurred.

Her lewd desires took over the last bastions of her coherent thoughts, as she began to leave scratches and bites on the skin of the devil who was making her feel so good in this moment.

She could feel the knot tightening as Sitri’s cock was dragged against her walls with such a frightening intensity, his fingers swirling around her clit in a way that brought tears to her eyes.

Suddenly, the knot snapped, and the tumultuous climax that was building came crashing over her, flooding her senses.

“Oh, Sitri! OH! YES! OH FUCK! SITRI! O-OH!”

Her walls clenched hard around his cock, choking it with a fervour as though her entire body didn’t want him to leave.

Sitri moaned in response to the sudden pressure surrounding him, the occasional spasms easing the grip before it grasped him once more. Coupled with the sound of her pounding heartbeat, it was all the stimulus he needed before he lost hold of his composure.

“Solomon! Oh Solomon! I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna…!”

He let out strangled moan as ecstasy flooded his body. His seed spilled out into Ra-On, as his hips thrusted weakly, riding out the last of his orgasm.

Ra-On followed shortly after, another brief orgasm rolling through her like waves. She was thoroughly exhausted, breathing heavily as she clung to the devil for some form of grounding.

Sitri leaned close to her, panting lightly as he gently brushed her lips against hers. He felt her lips mumble something against his.

His fingers tailed up her neck, briefly savouring her rapid pulse, before he lifted her chin with his fingers. A tender gaze met hers as he spoke gently, “Sorry, Solomon. Would you mind repeating that?”

The human below him let out a quiet gasp, before whispering between laboured breaths.

“Th- Thank you…”

[madphantom]

The entire way my boyfriend and I got together is INSANE in hindsight because like:

Last year I went to a camp with some friends and on the first evening, a pretty young and nervous guy had a panic attack / existential crisis because it suddenly clicked for him that he was away from all parental control for the first time. I was trying to calm him down when this random punky guy with massive earrings showed up to see if he could help. Upon hearing my friend ask "is anything even real?" he fucking. Pushes his dentures out of his mouth with his tongue like some kind of unexpected eldritch horror and as we are properly freaked out, says "These definitely aren't real. Hi, I'm [REDACTED] by the way, and you?"

What followed was an about four hour long conversation during which he mentioned that he talks a lot in his sleep and that his favourite animals are hyaenas and at this point I had a total crush on him but was kind of too shy to say anything because he seemed entirely too cool for me, so instead of behaving like a normal person I spent the next several days playing table tennis for hours because he basically lived at the tennis table.

Then came the last day and I kind of awkwardly hovered around him trying to ask him for his number, but then my phone battery swelled up and almost exploded and then it started pouring raining and finally I was sitting in my friend's car and cursing myself because I had absolutely no way to contact him and nothing to go by except for a first name.

So I. Did some detective work. Went through the entire follower list of the camp's Instagram page. And as it turns out, only one person with that name followed them, and that person just happened to wear huge silver earrings in their profile picture, anddd he accepted my follow request so wahoo! I found him!

Then we didn't talk to each other for two months.

Two months later, I went to another camp which had been advertised in the first one. I was there a day earlier than the official start but kind of forgot that it hadn't officially started yet, so when he didn't show up that day I just assumed he wasn't coming and gave up. Cut to me on day two, the entire camp is gathered and the shifts are being distributed, and the girl distributing asks who wants to take the awareness shift for the next day, someone behind me raises their hand, she asks "what's your name?" and I get a mini heart attack when I hear a familiar voice say "I'm [REDACTED]".

Turns out he did show up. We pretty much immediately started telling each other how the last two months were and then we ended up talking until like two in the morning, and that's pretty much how it went every day, we were just yapping basically 24/7 until he had to practically beg me to go to sleep.

On the second to last day one of my friends mentioned that the weather at home would be great for a barbecue, so I got an idea. In an honestly fucking ridiculous move, I decided to have a barbecue among my friends and invite him so it's not too awkward. I threw a whole ass party because I could not bear to awkwardly invite my crush, and amazingly, despite initial hesitation, he agreed to come.

After the second camp we started texting on Instagram. A month later he did indeed show up at the barbecue and we had a lot of fun. He brought me a couple cans of his favourite mate brand. After that we didn't see each other for four months.

In January he wanted to come to my hometown for a protest, but the trains were on strike. In February we tried again, this time successful. Had some fun times exchanging gossip. I invited him to my birthday.

He showed up at my birthday. Some of my friends had a fight and he spent a lot of time outside with my best friend smoking. At some point she, apparently, told him "well, I know for a fact you're very important to Maddie" which tbh is the most bizarre way to tell someone I have a huge crush on them. Long story short, he couldn't stay long that evening, so he asked if he could make up for it by stopping by the next weekend.

The next weekend was the first time we actually spent a significant amount of time together alone. We hiked up to this hilltop where you can see the entire city and basically told each other our entire life story and then we hung out a bit with some of my friends in the university film studio to warm up because it was kind of chilly and it was nice and we agreed that we should repeat that.

Easter came around. The week before he asked if he could come around for two days in a row and I was like of fucking course, so he did. Brought an entire palette of our now mutual favourite mate brand because I mentioned the nearby supermarket stopped selling it. We spent the day together and at some point in the afternoon he turned to me and asked "are we just hanging out or is this a date?" and all I could say was "uh" and the conversation just kind of died there because I'm dumb as rocks.

Later that evening I took him to one of my favourite spots in the city, a plateau right under a motorway bridge where you can see the entire city, and we drank mate and watched the city lights and then he turns to me and goes "I wasn't gonna make any stupid decisions anymore, but I think this might not be one of them - I think I'm in love with you"

And I was grinning like a maniac, but it was dark, and he couldn't see my face and was like "SAY SOMETHING PLEASE" so dumb as I am I replied "DITTO" and then he talked about how important consent is to him and asked if we could kiss. And then we kissed, and then he gifted me a steel ring with a heart on it and I gifted him a kandi bracelet with ACAB spelled out on it, and then I got to tell him I'd been pining for him like a stupid lovesick moron for eight months while he was completely sure he was going to die alone and then we walked home holding hands and counting bats and ever since we've been a dream team.

And to think it all started because Dennis had a fucking panic attack.