#i just conjured it from my mind
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a-sadclown · 6 months ago
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my first otp
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ilkkawhat · 1 day ago
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there have been many formative video games and pieces of art in general in my life but i am going to make a very bold and intoxicated statement that alan wake 2 was the most critical and relatable and overall resonates with me on a level nothing else does
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absolutely-not-my-main-blog · 10 months ago
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Hot take 😭
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fisheito · 1 year ago
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squints suspiciously at the next event's silhouettes devs, if that really is yakumo... DON't make me tap the sign.....😒..........
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 month ago
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I am once again having a sexuality crisis (read: wondering if I’m a lesbian or just have been stuck in my hometown for too long yet again and therefore haven’t seen a man who doesn’t look vaguely like a fish in years)
#here’s the problem as i understand it#i have had romantic feelings for several men and i also find quite a lot of men attractive#i don’t know if it’s just because i feel more comfortable feeling and displaying attraction to men because it’s what society expects#or if this is something that is actually genuinely coming from me#and at this point i overthink it so much i would really never know if it’s organic or not#what i DO know is i am not sexually attracted to men at all. when i’ve hooked up with men they do nothing for me#i can conjure up the perfect man in my mind; fantasise about him and nothing happens#this does not happen to me with women#i feel like i’ve been romantically attracted to way less women than men but also physically and sexually attracted to women a lot more ofte#and again — i don’t know if this is society & my own psychology messing with my sense of attraction#because obviously female nudity and sexualisation is all over the place all of the time#when i was younger i actually just thought women were objectively more attractive than men and that everyone thought that lol#i thought my friends were exaggerating when they said they wanted to kiss or have sex with men#i still to some degree think that. like it’s hard for me to imagine being enthusiastic about sex with a man#but can i imagine being in love with one? ehhhhhh… probably#see but what is the POINT if i’d never want to have sex with him? i know asexuals exist but i’m not one#i’d be setting myself up for an unsatisfying sex life#so it seems to make more sense to me to take the overall concept of dating men off the table since it’s not productive and can’t satisfy me#but then what if i fall in love with one anyway. what then. that’d be just my luck#no label ever seems to fit what i have going on with me and i don’t know if that’s because the main thing that’s going on is my head isn’t#screwed on right and i overthink and pathologise every experience i have#can’t even have a crush without wondering if i’m just doing it to get some excitement in my life#i’m not even sure any of it exists. maybe i should just declare myself aroace to give everyone else some peace#personal
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spooky-kakashi · 3 months ago
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whenever i think i should start putting effort into dating again i text this one dude i know and ask him about his opinions on womens rights and bodies and i am instantly reminded that im better off alone and just having friends
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istherewifiinhell · 9 months ago
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Save me bean quesadilla.... bean quesadilla save me.....
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the-knife-consumer · 2 years ago
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My first exposure of botw was very brief gameplay clips of it when it first came out or something and i think it was from a zelda compilation back when i was into game grumps but anyway. Point being it was mashed in with other zelda stuff so that could be why my brain did this but. Somehow. I thought that botw's zoras domain was in a cave?? And that the big bad thing is that it was going to collapse and crush the domain. And sidon would just take you on a leisurely swim to previously inaccessible places and help you fish in an area with a bunch of stalagmites (have NO fucking idea how i got that out of the vah ruta sequence). Like. Brain girlie HOW did you fuck up that badly.
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maiteo · 2 years ago
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butcherb1rd · 2 years ago
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instead of painting a background for this digital piece i’m working on i just yoinked the background from another finished piece and edited it. said background was not originally from the finished piece, but from a wip that’ll never be finished. reduce reuse recycle ♻️
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kafkaoftherubble · 6 months ago
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I can never stop scrutinizing every post, comment, or discussion about these topics and wondering if it is about the normalization of neurodivergence and people living with mental illnesses (i.e. "This is also one of the many kinds of human experience"), or if it's just pathologizing human behaviors.
I really detest the latter. It's a personal principle to avoid this pitfall.
However, even this habit is scrutinized on its own. Because you're necessarily playing around with ideas about maladies, sicknesses, and "unhealthiness." When I say, "hold on, this might sound like pathologization," am I genuinely thinking this person is dehumanizing themself, or am I just expressing internalized ableism in the vein of "don't call yourself sick! Sick is a word for the weak! The weak-willed!"?
That is why I'm glad OP added an example to the reblog!
And I'm sure there are many other ways to not pathologize oneself while trying to normalize experiences historically marginalized by the so-called "normal, healthy default." I kinda wanna see what example others/friends can come up with to avoid self-pathologization.
Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.
#Me、personally? I usually don't mention the supposed medical term straight away when I'm discussing my mode of experience#(despite being a science nerd who easily rambles about tHe cOgNiTvE sCIEnCeS ahahhaha).#I just describe what it's like as if I have no idea what the clinical terms or symptoms are.#I also work really hard to be aware of my state of mind just so I can give people heads-up if it's getting tougher to rein myself in.#That way I don't have to withdraw from interacting with them despite it—because they are aware.#And if I fail to maintain composure (yo it does happen、 annoyingly enough、despite my goddamn effort) and snap?#When I explain my behavior once I've calmed down later、 it won't sound like some “bullshit excuse” conjured#to repair my image after hurting that person.#Having been subjected to way too many people's meltdowns (due to mental disorders/neurodivergence/good old neurotypicality)#I really don't want to force other people into my spot if I were the one losing control、 man#Which actually brings back to why I detest pathologization. Huh.#It's just a handy way of shutting down communication innit? “I'm sick okay? I have symptoms ABCDE#You don't understand shit you healthy son of a bitch!”#How do you expect me to know how to accomodate you if you describe your experience like it's a terminal sickness with such *finality* that#it's as if it's impossible to carve out a middle way?#surely that is as far away from normalization as it can possibly get.
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dark-and-kawaii · 2 months ago
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── ♡ Nᴀɴᴀᴍɪ
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“Sweetheart, you really are such a desperate thing, aren't you?” he murmurs, his thumb brushing away the tear that trickles down your cheek before leaning in to kiss you softly.
It's almost unbearable, the need that coils tight within your belly- the dampness between your legs. It's almost embarrassing that you can't control the sob that slips between your lips against his as he presses his thigh between your legs, the cloth of your panties and his knee pressing right where you need it most...
Pulling away from you, Nanami looks deep into your eyes- nothing but pure love and affection coming from his own, “tell me dear, what is it you need from me?”
You slowly grind yourself onto his knee, an attempt to get some sort of friction, “mn’need you~ need my Kento inside m-me-“
He smiles, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of your nose, his hands gently gripping the soft flesh of your hips, “You don't want the vibrator first? Get nice and wet for me, darling? You know I don't want to hurt you when I'm stretching that pretty pussy of yours-”
You whimper, grinding harder, his words sending heat straight to your cunt.
His grip on your hips tightens, a soft warning to still your movements, the action eliciting another small noise from you.
You look up at him through lidded eyes, your chest heaving and cheeks flushed as you shake your head, the movement slight, your hair falling over your shoulder with the motion, “p-please... I- I want the stretch- wan’it to hurt- just please, Kento... please, please put it in me-“ you rest your head on his shoulder, panting lightly against the material of his shirt, your eyes screwed shut, “just need it- need you inside me- need you to fuck me so hard, make me scream until my voice is gone, fuck- I can't stand it- i- I’ve missed you so much. I- I thought I lost you…”
Nanami is silent for a moment, taking in the sight of you, debauched, practically begging him for his cock, his own length straining uncomfortably against his trousers- his mind conjuring up images of the things he wants to do to you. He presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder, his large hand coming up to stroke through your hair, “Don’t worry darling, I've got you. You don't have to think about anything anymore… just relax, let me take care of you, okay? Just like always...”
He takes hold of your wrists, bringing them around his neck as he picks you up, the action so fluid, as if you weighed nothing, making you wrap your legs around his waist as he turns and places you down on the bed, laying you out before him like a feast- a treat, “and I promise,” he brings your hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the tips of your fingers, his eyes never leaving yours as his other hand slides the zipper of his trousers down, “I'm not going anywhere...”
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hanasnx · 2 months ago
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“ SHE JUST WENT TO HEAVEN AND BACK ” — clark kent.
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MINORS DNI 18+ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ WARNINGS: fem reader ノ established relationship ノ sexual content: riding dick ノ playing dumb for a boy ノ some light humping ノ reader has kinda long hair ノ size difference.
you’re so desperate for clueless CLARK KENT’s attention that you play dumb and get him to mansplain his video game to you while you sit in his lap. he’s been busy lately and to get him to take the hint you wear one of your shortest skirts, invite yourself into the best seat in the house, and ask, “what’s this?” gesturing to his lit tv screen.
he explains it all, some boring lore he’s really into and the controls and the tricky part he’s stuck on right now.. and you resist the urge to roll your eyes at him. his pretty girl is sitting in his lap and he’s not even paying it any mind. but clark is paying it mind. he’s rambling bcos he’s nervous, and if you’d turn your head you’d see the pink dusting his cheeks. he can feel your bare thighs through his denim, and your floral shampoo fills his nose… he trails off mid sentence when he focuses too hard on the growing interest in his pants.
“i wanna play.” you say when you’ve had enough of his aimless babble, and without thinking it through, clark places the controller snugly in your palms, while his larger hands overlay yours.
“alright, so this button…” his thumb atop yours presses down in a click, and you see the avatar swipe air with his sword because of it. “is your attack move… and this—“ you’re not paying any attention to what he’s teaching you. instead, your brain conjures up evil memories of everything you’ve been missing. your eyes wander to the corner of his bed he’s sitting on, and you wish he’d fold you over on it like before. wrestle you down and pin you so he could flip your little skirt up and get to work. you’re tuning out his words while he’s playing the game over your hands which dampen with sweat, suddenly hot and bothered at the thought of him fucking you in this position… if only he were brave enough to unbuckle his pants.
your lips press together, your heart rate quickens, and clark’s ears perk up. thump thump… thump thump… thump thump…
he inhales sharply, right as the sting of what it feels like to be filled by him shoots up your core like lightning. you jump in place a little at the cruel trick your mind is playing on you, and the friction of your ass bumping against his halfie makes it twitch as it chubs up. the avatar’s HP lowers little by little as its enemies overwhelm it, but neither of you move.
“why didn’t you say anything?” clark’s breathless words come out husky and sultry as he chuffs them out of his teeth, lifting you up and down by your hips like you’re nothing more than a weight at the gym. your hands lay atop his, twisting your face as that cock buries itself right where you needed it, bullying that spongy spot in you sore from neglect. “i’ve been thinking about you, too…” he fills the silence, paired with the wet sounds of an eager pussy swallowing him up. he yanks you back, and you land on his chest still clothed, your hair bunches up on his shoulder while his lips find your ear. your hips now married with his, he rolls yours, screwing his dick into you like he’s rediscovering all your nooks n crannies.
one arm rounds you to secure you against him in a warm embrace, seeking out your clit between your spread legs, toying with it like taffy and it makes you whine.
“you didn’t have to act like you cared about my game,” he’s taunting you, right in your ear, ending it with a gentle nip of his teeth to your shell. the point of his canine sends a shock through you, and your legs straighten involuntarily. he keeps you where he wants you with overpowering strength, you can’t raise yourself when he’s got you in a vice. his thumb and index feel cruel against your bud, as if chastising you for trying to trick him.
“well, it worked, didn’t it?” you exhale, leisurely squirming against him desperate for some movement. there’s pride in your voice.
“this skirt worked.” he corrects. the skirt now bunched up around your waist about the same time he’d pushed his denim out of the way so he could free his cock and give you a new seat. “could hear your heartbeat, you were so obvious… c’mere.” he grants your wish for more, pushing you forward so he could gather your arms behind you. bent, your feet barely toe the ground while he uses your wrists to leverage you, tugging you back while he bounces you up with the force of his hips.
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anarkhebringer · 1 year ago
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Y'know I occasionally think about how in my Durge!Origin!Astarion AU, he may be in a relationship with Wyll, but he has something beyond a label with Shadowheart and Karlach too. Shadowheart's is more on the deep yearning side of things since they did almost get romantic but Astarion cut it off to not lead her on, and with Karlach it's a sort of soul bond thing and sticking together since they're the two trans members of the party, and they clung to each other because of it.
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khioneee · 4 months ago
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‘honey, i’m home.’
simon, presumed dead for the past five years, appears at your doorstep, very much alive.
the knock at the door cut through the quiet night like a knife, startling you from restless sleep. rain hammered against the windows, and the wind howled through the cracks. your heart pounded in your chest as you shuffled toward the door, dread curling deep in your stomach. no one visited at this hour. not anymore.
you hesitated at the door, hand trembling slightly on the knob. for a moment, you thought about ignoring it—letting whoever it was go unanswered. but something pulled you forward, a strange sense of familiarity, even though you couldn’t place it.
when you opened the door, your breath caught in your throat.
there, standing on your doorstep, was simon.
simon stood before you, drenched from the rain, looking like a ghost dragged back from the edge of the world. his hair clung to his forehead, water dripping down his pale face, and exhaustion clung to him like a second skin. it had been five years since you’d gazed into those stormy eyes—five years of grief, heartache, and learning how to live without him. his familiar eyes, shadowed by exhaustion and pain, locked onto yours. his clothes were soaked, his body thinner than you remembered, like he had fought every step of the way just to stand on your doorstep.
your breath hitched painfully. ‘wake up,’ you said to yourself, heart racing. ‘please… wake up.’
but you didn’t.
‘lovie…’ simon whispered, his voice cracked and hoarse, as if he hadn’t used it for a long time. ‘i’m home.’
your mind swirled and shock paralyzing you. it felt like a cruel trick your mind had conjured. the world around you blurred, and your heart ached in your chest. it couldn’t be real. he couldn’t be here.
simon’s expression softened, and without a word, before you could react, he stepped inside, closing the door behind him with a quiet thud. he reached for you, pulling you into his arms without hesitation, and the breath left your lungs. his grip was tight, desperate, as if holding you was the only thing keeping him grounded. his cold, rain-soaked body pressed against yours, but you didn’t care.
he was here.
you froze for a moment, and then, slowly, your hands gripped the wet fabric of his jacket, your chest pressed against his. tears welled in your eyes, the disbelief crashing into a flood of emotions—relief, anger, and love. his familiar scent, rain-soaked, earthy, and undeniably him, flooded your senses, overwhelming you.
‘they told me you were dead,’ you sobbed against him, your fists clinging to his jacket as if that could keep him here. ‘they said your plane crashed. that you were gone.’
you clung to him, your heart shattering in your chest. he held you as if afraid you might slip through his fingers, as if his entire world depended on you being real.
simon buried his face into your hair, holding you tighter, his breath shaky. ‘every bloody day, i fought my way back for you,’ he said, his voice heavy with the weight of everything he’d endured. ‘you were the only reason i stayed alive.’
you sobbed harder, burying your face into his chest, your knees nearly giving out beneath you. all the years of mourning him, the endless nights spent crying yourself to sleep, the desperate ache of thinking you’d lost him forever—all of it shattered in his arms.
but then, simon’s grip on you faltered. something had shifted in the way he held you. slowly, he pulled back just enough to look down at your hand. his thumb brushing over the bare space where your wedding ring used to sit.
his body tensed. he pulled back slightly, just enough to glance down at your hand, and his breath hitched. the wedding ring you once wore was gone.
‘where’s your ring?’ he asked, voice quiet but edged with something fragile, as if the answer might break him.
your throat tightened, guilt and sorrow clawing at your chest. ‘simon…’ you started, voice cracking under the weight of it all.
his jaw tightened, and his gaze flicked past you. that’s when he saw them—new photos hanging on the walls. the ones of you and him were gone, replaced by pictures of you and someone else.
it was like the air had been knocked from his lungs. his jaw clenched, shoulders sagging under the realization. his face a mask of exhaustion and heartbreak as the weight of what he was seeing sank in.
you looked away, guilt pressing down on your chest like a heavy weight. ‘i waited…’ you whispered. ‘even when they told me there wasn’t a chance you were alive, i tried.’
his face didn’t change, but the subtle pain and betrayal in his eyes was unmistakable. ‘i came back for you,’ he uttered softly, almost to himself. ‘i told you i’d come to you.’
‘i thought you were gone,’ you cried, tears spilling down your cheeks. ‘i didn’t know how to keep waiting when they told me you’d never come back.’
simon’s hand cupped your cheek, his thumb gently brushing away your tears. despite everything, his touch was tender, grounding. ‘i didn’t survive just to be a memory, sweetheart,’ he murmured, his forehead resting against yours. ‘i fought every day to come back to you. and if i have to fight again… i will.’
you leaned into him, your heart breaking and mending all at once. the years apart, the lost moments—they still weighed heavy, but he was here. he had kept his promise, and that was all that mattered now.
‘i told you i’d come back,’ he said, voice low but steady. ‘and i’m not going anywhere. not ever again.’
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thevillainswhore · 5 months ago
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Loverboy
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Word Count: 4.3k
Summary: Bucky, a lovesick, pining super soldier, vows to keep his feelings for you a secret — no matter how obvious his crush may seem. Those plans are ruined between a meddling Sam, an embarrassing fall, and a visit to the medbay with you.
Warnings: Avengers AU, Bucky’s POV, fluff, crack (my lame attempt at comedy), suggestive thoughts (no smut), just our boy being a lovesick little bean with a big ol’ crush.
Author’s Note: Dividers by @saradika. Proofread by @buckys-wintersoldier, thank you so much sweetie, I love you!! This was inspired by a wonderful request from @prettyboy56, thank you so much! Hope you enjoy x
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“Hi, Bucky.” 
Instantly, he sputtered over his mouthful of cereal, eyes watering from his food going down the wrong way. 
Bucky knew that melodic voice before his gaze even reached its owner. You entered the kitchen, wiggling your fingers at him in greeting. 
Clearing his throat, he swiped his bowl to the side, his breakfast now forgotten about, and directed his attention solely onto you. “Hi—um h—hello, doll.” 
The muscles of your cheeks lifted up to your eyes in a smile that made Bucky swoon. Hard.
Your eyes fell to Sam then, who stood in the corner, fresh from a workout with a shit eating on his face. “Good morning, Samuel.” 
“Mornin’, beautiful. How did you sleep?” 
Bucky fought the growl rising in his throat, the unprecedented possessiveness caving its way through its internal barriers in your presence. 
You grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and closed the door, leaning your back against it to take a big gulp. 
“Not bad at all.” You licked your lips, ridding the dryness that came from a long slumber before your eyes lit up. “Oh, by the way! I drank some of that tea you recommended. It’s helped a bunch—”
Bucky zoned out while you continued to express your gratitude to Sam. He couldn’t help the way his eyes dilated as he rested his head in the palm of his vibranium hand, a lovesick sigh escaping his lips. You were just so gorgeous – a deity in human form right in front of his own very eyes. Bucky had never considered himself so lucky in all his time on earth to be within your vicinity. 
In his own world of oggling, Bucky didn’t notice how the conversation fell short between you and Sam. Neither did he realise how the two of you were staring at him; you with concern and Wilson smothering his laughter with his hand. 
“Bucky? Sweetheart?” He finally registered that you were speaking to him and almost choked, again, on his own spit.
“Mhm?” Bucky murmured, drunk off your attention. 
You smiled once again, so devastatingly beautiful that his left arm whirred in stupor. “Are you okay? You feeling alright?” Not waiting for a response, you walked over to him and Bucky almost let his eyes roll to the back of his head when you lifted your wrist to his forehead. “Jeez, you’re a little hot, Buck.” 
Sam keeled over in hysterics, unable to keep his composure any longer. Meanwhile, a bright red blossom of colour rose up from the skin of Bucky’s neck all the way up to his cheeks. 
Had Bucky not been embarrassingly infatuated by you, the throwaway comment wouldn’t have had any effect on him. But this was you. The woman who had the ability to make him melt on the spot. 
While logic and a basic level of common sense screamed at him that you were talking about his temperature, his mind could only conjure up the fact you had called him hot. 
Bucky saw your mouth moving, however he couldn’t concentrate on the sound of the words coming out of it. You were still touching him, patting his cheeks and sweeping the tendrils of hair that had fell out from behind his ears out of his face. The close proximity of your bodies threw him through a loop and without even realising, his thighs spread further, subconsciously begging you to forego all boundaries and smother yourself against him. 
Gently tapping his nose three times, you managed to gain his full attention again. “You seem out of it, sweetie. Maybe you should go down to the medbay. See if you’re coming down with a fever or something.” 
Sam blew out a breath of air. “Yeah, because that’s what’s wrong with him.” 
You threw a lighthearted glare his way before bringing your eyes back to Bucky. “Promise me you’ll get seen to?” 
How could he refuse when you asked so sweetly? “Anything you want.” He vowed sincerely. 
Scrunching your nose, you chucked his chin and whispered under your breath, “Good boy.”
Bucky almost whimpered when you withdrew your hands and stepped back. He so desperately wanted to follow you and nudge your arm until you paid attention to him once more. Your touch was fire and a cool breeze all at once. Electricity that created static across his stubbled cheek, yet also stoked a warmth through his entire body.  
Peace. He’d never felt anything like it. Never before felt drunk from just the delicate essence of a perfume or experienced the loosening of his limbs, relaxing until his legs felt like jelly whenever you so much as cast him a glance. 
You grabbed a piece of fruit from the table, ready to go down to the gym and train. “Catch you later, Sam,” you called over your shoulder. Meeting Bucky’s eyes a final time, you winked while you headed for the elevator. “Bye, sweetheart.”  
Bucky’s gaze was glued to you, following you out hopelessly until you were completely out of sight. 
He was fucked — well and truly out of his depth. 
Sam crossed his arms and smirked. “You are down bad, man.” 
Bucky swiped a hand over his face, sighing deeply. “Fuckin’ tell me about it.” 
“This is serious.” Sam sobered up, his lips softening into an honest smile. 
With an embarrassingly loud thud against the island countertop, Bucky let his head drop. “I have no idea what to do, Sam. I thought this crush would have passed by now but it’s been months.”
“Well,” Sam raised an eyebrow. “Have you even tried asking her out?” 
“And why would I do that?” Bucky asked, genuinely confused. 
Sam sputtered over his words. “What do you mean—Because that’s what people do when they like someone, you dumbass!” 
Bucky had lost enough braincells daydreaming about you constantly. He didn’t need to be told what he already knew. But the pressure of asking you out to then have a chance of being rejected? He would never come back from that. “Yeah, no thanks,” he mumbled.
“Come on, man. What’s the worst that could happen?” Sam asked. 
Bucky lifted his head up and huffed sarcastically. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe she could turn me down and rip my heart out into little pieces, so much that I would hide out in my room for the rest of eternity never to be seen again?” 
“Now you’re just being dramatic.”
Bucky sighed longingly. “Let me wallow in my misery alone, Sam.” 
“Why? So you can spend your days staring at her with your googly eyes and drooling over her.” 
“I have never drooled over her,” Bucky snarled. 
A twinkle shone in Sam’s eye, a mischievous grin donning his face. “Then what’s that on your chin?” 
Bucky’s eyes widened and he quickly brought his hand up to his face to check if he did in fact have any wetness coating his mouth. Finding none, he looked back to Sam with a scowl. “I hate you.”
Sam shook his head with laughter. “You shouldn’t make it so easy to tease you, loverboy.”  
With a growl, Bucky lifted from his seat and stormed out of the kitchen. 
The irritating voice followed him. “Don’t forget training tomorrow morning, loverboy!” 
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The sun was shining over the compound the next morning and so came the bright idea from Steve that all exercise activities should be held outside. While the recruits in training buffed up on their sparring with the Captain, the rest of the avengers worked out as they saw fit. 
As usual, Sam took any opportunity possible to annoy Bucky, which brought them together, running laps around the outdoor track. 
“When are you gonna man up and ask her out then, Cyborg? Pretty girl ain’t gonna be available forever.” 
Bucky wasn’t entirely sure why he didn’t run ahead of Sam. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t. Maybe the pace he kept alongside Wilson allowed him to stare at you so clearly in your tight workout leggings and sports bra as sweat sensually rolled over your skin. Maybe. 
“I’m not asking her out, Sam. Drop it.” 
Sam huffed out an annoyed breath. “Listen, man. It’s not as if you’ve got nothing going for you. As much as you’re a grumpy shit, you’ve got them blue eyes the chicks love. Gets them all gooey when you give them intense eye contact, y’know?” He reluctantly added, “And they dig the brooding, bad boy, leather jacket vibe.”
Bucky let out a rare smile within the presence of Sam. “You tryna hit on me, Wilson?” 
“Look, all I’m saying is you have a chance.” Sam slyly glanced over the field. “And if you don’t quit fuckin’ around, that chance is gonna disappear.”  
The smile instantly dropped from Bucky’s face. “What do you mean by that?” 
Sam’s signature smirk came back with vengeance. “Your girls lookin’ kinda cute today. So I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but you ain’t the only one who’s got their eye on her.” 
Naturally, Bucky followed his instinct and let his eyes look over at you. You were a fucking wonder, of course he knew that. But heeding Sam’s ominous warning, Bucky allowed his gaze to venture out, only allowing you to blur into the background for a couple of seconds while he took stock of the other male, and female, recruits. 
Low and behold, plenty of other people wantonly stared at you while you completed your circuit, almost salivating over their barely concealed pining. As much as Bucky hated to admit it, the fucker was right. You were the pinnacle of everyone’s attention. 
With the way you were bending over, squatting and looking like an angel amidst the perspiration the sun brought on, Bucky wasn’t sure if he could actually blame anyone for it. 
That didn’t stop the ugly, green eyed beast within him that wanted to tear everyone’s eyes out for daring to glimpse at you. 
It was silly, he knew he had no right to feel any sort of possessive nature for you. Unfortunately, you didn’t belong to him. Still, he couldn’t control the deep rooted urges that whispered the kinds of fun he’d have gouging out eyeballs that looked where they weren't supposed to. 
Knowing he had stirred the pot enough, Sam figured it was time to try and hit the final nail in the coffin in order to make his friend move his ass. “Y’know what gives you an advantage though, man?” 
Bucky continued to death stare the surrounding agents, while keeping up with his steady jog. “What’s that?”
“Guess who’s making eyes at you right now.” 
At breakneck speed, Bucky snapped his head back around to you, only to indeed find you staring at him with a fire in your eyes and your bottom lip trapped between your teeth. 
A violent shudder ran down his spine and for a moment, the whole world stopped on its axis, allowing Bucky to revel in a daydream brought to life. 
That was until his mind snapped him back into the present. The super soldier was majestic on his feet in a fight, graceful yet utterly dangerous out on the field even with the pressure a mission came with. 
However to his utter bewilderment, you happened to be the most dangerous being he had ever come across, because in all of his years as a trained, professional assassin, Bucky had never, never, tripped over his own feet. 
And so, inevitably, Bucky’s face ungracefully met the asphalt of the outside track with an audible thunk. 
A collective of gasps, oo’s, and ah’s, rang around the large group. Bucky could physically feel the coating of red, hot embarrassment climbing up to his now scratched cheeks.  
Bucky couldn’t see the look of shame and pity on Sam’s face as he dropped his head into his hands. All he was capable of was fantasizing faking his own death and moving far, far away where no one who witnessed his fall could ever find him.  
With a painful, deep groan, Bucky managed to roll himself over. He couldn’t bear to open his eyes and allow himself to accept reality yet and so he kept them closed, waiting for the ground to swallow him up or for the beaming sun to slowly incinerate him, melt him into the ground with his shame and dignity. 
But instead of either of those, a shadow casted over him, the harsh brightness behind his eyelids dulling down. Slowly, he peeked an eye open, only for mortification to kick him in the gut when he found you standing over him. 
“You alright there, Soldier?” Your hands were set on your hips, those deliciously curved grooves of your body that he had shamelessly stared at one too many times during gym sessions. 
“Mhm,” he gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing roughly. “Just peachy.” 
Even though you’d just seen him eat dirt, in front of hundreds of learning recruits and the rest of the avengers, your smile was kind as you held out your hand. “Need some help?” 
Bucky took your offering, sliding his clammy palm into your dry one and hoisted himself up with your grip. He hadn’t needed your help, he was a super soldier with a metal arm; an agility and strength beyond normal human ability. But he wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to feel your soft skin against his. 
He couldn’t look you in the eye as he stood up, aware of your gaze glued to him. “Th-Thanks.” 
“It’s not a problem,” you said. “Although, you’ve got a few nasty looking cuts on your cheeks.” 
Bucky brought his left hand up to his face, hissing when the cool vibranium stung the open wounds. “Ah, it’s nothin’—don't worry about it. Nothing a few hours won’t fix.” 
You shook your head fondly. “Well, how about I walk you to the infirmary and we get some ointment on them? It wouldn’t hurt to be cautious.” 
Bucky choked on his own spit and snapped his eyes to yours. “W-We?” 
Your smile was blinding — so beautiful with an ability to stop time. At least for him anyway. “Yeah, why not? It looks like you could use a hand—y’know, since you’re a little clumsy on your feet today.” The cheeky smirk that followed your words almost sent him to an early grave.
His cheeks blazed. Bucky was sure he looked utterly stupid, with his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. But he couldn’t help the effect you had on him. “I um—I— ha, I guess.” 
Your eyes glinted mischievously. “I’ll take that as a yes?” 
Not trusting his voice to hold steady, Bucky simply nodded. 
“Great,” you approved. “Just one question though, are we going to keep holding hands on the way?”
Looking down to the space between you, Bucky felt his mouth dry when he saw that he hadn’t yet released his hand from yours. “I’m—oh fuck—I’m so sorry.” 
Still, he made no move to slacken his grip. 
You tightened your lips, and he knew you were willing yourself not to laugh for his sake. Sam would have a fucking field day with this. 
Though to his surprise, instead of pulling away like he expected you to, you began pulling him along, hands still interweaved. “Let’s go get you cleaned up, Bucky.”  
His name on your lips was akin to a siren singing her song; dragging helpless seamen to their deaths. A thought crossed his mind then, that he didn’t think he would mind so much if he sank to his reckoning, not if your voice was the last thing he ever heard. 
“Okay.” Bucky followed you blindly, eyes glued to your conjoined hands and disbelieving of his luck. 
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You had led the way towards the medbay and found a cozy, private room that the doctors used for small injuries. Bucky sat impatiently on the side of the medical bed, twiddling his thumbs and fidgeting restlessly. Never had he been so close to you, alone. 
Bucky internally prayed with all his faith that you couldn’t hear the rapid staccato of his heartbeat. He was sure if he was hooked up to a monitor, the doctors would be thoroughly concerned about his health. 
Finally having gathered all the supplies you deemed necessary along with a first aid box, you walked back over to the bed and dumped everything next to him. 
“So,” you began, an uneasy conspiratorial tone to your voice that weirdly reminded him of Sam. “Wanna tell me what happened out there?”  
“I—,” Bucky sheepishly scratched the back of his neck while his cheeks bloomed crimson red. “I must’ve just tripped over my own feet.” 
He tried to shrug off his nonchalance, but he knew by your raised eyebrow you didn’t believe him. “Somehow, I have a hard time believing a big, strong super soldier such as yourself has any trouble finding his footing.”
Before Bucky could muster up any other excuse but the truth, you ripped open the packet of a medical wipe and warned him, “I’m sorry. This is gonna sting.”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” he said with bravado. 
Bucky wasn’t prepared for the twinkle in your eye as you mumbled under your breath, “I’m sure it isn’t, Sargeant.” 
The breath got knocked out of his lungs. Oh did that do things to him. 
Suddenly, vivid images of you spread out on his bed wearing nothing but his old army hat while you screamed out his rank ran wild in his mind. 
Luckily, you were too preoccupied with cleaning the dried blood of his wound to notice him discreetly palming the bulge in his athletic shorts, trying to hide the effect you had on him. 
“Are you certain there is absolutely no other reason as to why I’m playing nurse right now, then?” Your feline grin was sexy and scary. “No possible distractions that led you off path?” 
There was no way you could read minds, right? Bucky doubled down on his denial, shaking his head from side to side and letting the length of his hair hide the truth in his eyes. 
“I’ll take your word for it then.” You finished up and reached for the healing gel. “I know the serum enhances your ability to repair the cuts, but I’d still like to use this.” Looking into his eyes, you asked, “Only as long as you’re okay with that, of course.” 
Time stopped and the two of you were caught in the other’s gaze. It was such a small gesture, one you probably didn’t even realise meant the world to him. But you asked him for permission on something that would affect his autonomy and if Bucky didn’t already have a hundred ways he was falling for you, that would have been the cherry on top. 
“Yeah,” he breathed airily. “Yeah, I’m good with it, doll.” 
Unseen to him before, you ducked your head and sweeped your hair behind your ear and if Bucky didn’t know any better, he was sure you were shy. 
He couldn’t help the large grin he sported. He was always so enamored with you, quick to falter in your presence and become unsure of himself. Right now though, a small bout of bravery returned. “Ready when you are,” he cheekily murmured. 
You hastily rushed to compose yourself. Clearing your throat, you squeezed the tube of gel, allowing a small drop of the cool liquid on the tip of your finger and stepped between his legs to gently dab it onto his cuts. 
“Okay, you’re all fixed up now.” With a last swipe of his forehead, you smiled. “Don’t worry, Buck. You still look handsome.” 
He tugged his plump bottom lip between his teeth. “You think I’m handsome?”
You giggled. “I would be blind if I didn’t.” 
Bucky blinked at you slowly, still processing your words and trying to calm the excited bubble rising in his throat. 
You rolled your eyes playfully. “Oh, don’t act all coy, Bucky. You must have heard the whispers of the recruits. They stare at you all the time, whispering and giggling to each other.” 
With the most confidence he had ever mustered up, he responded, “Truthfully, I’m too busy staring at someone else to notice, doll.” 
The shock of his sudden boldness was glaringly obvious on your face — it was you this time who held your mouth open, lost for words. 
Bucky’s body screamed at him to tell you that he was in fact head over heels for you. That had he known falling over in front of the full compound would lead him within a hair’s breadth away from you, he’d do it all over again. 
But you seemed to recover after a couple of seconds, clearing your throat and making yourself busy to avoid his eyes. “So, I’ve got another question.” 
“Oh?” Bucky cocked his head. 
“Yeah.” You smiled while placing everything back into the first aid box as you found it. “I’ve been hearing a few rumours around the compound recently.” 
Bucky’s stomach dropped with dread. 
“You wouldn’t know anything about those, would you?” 
“I—” Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat. “I have no idea what you mean.” 
“Oh,” you hummed. “So it’s not true then? You don’t have a crush on me?” 
Fuck.
Panicking, Bucky scoffed, though it came off sounding too pathetic, too breezy. “Me? Have a crush on you? That’s—Ha! Nope. No way. Not at all.” 
He watched as you nodded to yourself. Internally, he was begging for the floor to swallow him while he cringed at his own stupidity. 
“Well,” you shrugged. “That’s a shame, I guess.”  
Bucky’s head shot up, eyes wide and shock written over his features. “E-Excuse me?” 
“Oh, it's nothing really.” There was a sparkle in your eye that screamed trouble. “You said you didn’t have a crush on me, so it doesn’t matter.” 
Within seconds, Bucky jumped off the bed and leapt towards you, not even noticing how he had grabbed your hands. “Doll, please. You can’t leave a guy hanging like that.” 
Playfully rolling your eyes, you dramatically exhaled and decided to put him out of his misery. “Leave you hanging? Damn, Buck. It’s not as if I’ve been waiting patiently for you to ask me out for months or anything like that.” 
The air became humid and stuffy and suddenly the clothes attached to Bucky’s body felt too tight and restricting. “You—What now?” 
You rolled your lips inwards, trying to smother your laughter. “Bucky, honey,” you gently murmured. “I’ve heard what the others have been gossiping about. I’ve definitely heard Sam telling the team about your crush on me.” 
Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. “That fuckin’ punk.” 
You squeezed his hands reassuringly and offered him a warm smile when he looked at you. “I’ve just been waiting to hear it from the horse's mouth himself.” 
Bucky’s eyes darted between yours, trying to find any hint of decievement. “You’re serious.”
“Mhm,” you whispered. “Deadly.” 
It took him a couple of seconds to let the new information sink in. Clearing his throat, Bucky untightened his fierce grip on your hands and hesitantly slid them down to latch onto your waist. “So,” he mumbled. “Say if I asked you out to dinner tonight… You wouldn’t tell me I’m a fool and break my heart into a million pieces?” 
Butterflies erupted in Bucky’s stomach at the sensation of your hands sliding over his chest to rest against his neck. “No, Bucky,” you chuckled. “I would tell you that I’m looking forward to our first date, tonight. Nowhere fancy, just casual. Six o’clock sharp.” 
Bucky smiled, all beaming and ecstatic. “I wouldn’t dream of being late.” 
“Good.” You leaned up onto your tip toes and ghosted your lips over his ear. “See you very soon then, Sargeant.” 
Tingles shot down Bucky’s spine and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He fought tooth and nail to crush the moan that rose up his throat and in his internal struggle, he missed how you’d sneakily slipped out of his hold and started to saunter towards the door. 
He almost begged you to come back; the thought of having to wait for you until the evening was unbearable. But those pesky butterflies that invaded his stomach came back strong and fierce as his gaze became glued to the sway of your hips and the sweet perfume that lingered in your exit. 
“Oh,” you stopped suddenly at the doorway and looked over your shoulder. “One more thing. Don’t go tripping over again, you hear me?” You raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Can’t have you falling for me.”
Your damn smirk was intoxicating and Bucky thought himself the luckiest fella alive to be the one taking you out. He licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m afraid I’m gonna have a little trouble with that request, Ma’am.” 
The clench of your thighs was unmissable. The way your eyes dilated called to him. Bucky had more game than he realised and he kept that new information tucked safely into the corner of his mind for a later date. 
You didn’t reply. You didn’t need to. Your actions told Bucky everything he needed to know and so he wiggled his fingers with a huge grin locked onto his face and watched you longingly as you left his sight. 
The minute he couldn’t hear your footsteps any longer, Bucky pumped his fist up into the air and began dancing on the spot. 
In his own bubble of happiness, he didn’t hear the footsteps of a new person entering the hallway. Only when an amused clearing of the throat echoed from the doorway did Bucky abruptly stop his dancing and slowly swivel to the intruder. 
Sam stood there, all cocky and mirthful with a shit eating grin on his face. “About time you bagged the girl, man. Dont’cha think?” 
Instantly, Bucky growled and grabbed the closest apparatus. With a pair of medical scissors, he charged towards Sam, who was quick to wipe the smirk off his face and skid out of the room with a scream. 
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