#i just cant see the others having tumblr
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So I've been rewatching Legends of Tomorrow and can't stop think about the Tumblr accounts most of them would have.
Mona- She has at least 15 accounts if not more, each dedicated to a different fandom. She was the first to discover the reblog limit.
Mick - He has two accounts. The real Rebecca Silver and a secret fan page. The secret fan page is everyone's favorite fanfic author. ( I imagine he has Gideon help him upload his typed pages onto ao3)
Nate - The local lore enthusiast, if you have a question about history his ask box is always open, but he will go into long detailed rants with pictures and videos included every single time.
Charlie - it's just a compilation of rare celebrity sightings and old pictures being 'discovered' but it's just her shapeshifting into celebrities while on missions
Zari - she's on the celebrity side of Tumblr but she posts funny pictures of every mission and she and Mick collaborate on writing how the mission played out for their fans ( I imagine there is a fan-animated version of DC Legends of Tomorrow using their Tumblr post as script but its exactly the same as ours show just animated)
Ray- Do I really even have to say it? he IS the science side of Tumblr.
Gary- The creator of some of the most bizarre posts you'll ever see on the hellsite. He is loved and feared by all.
Len - The aesthetic could not be more on point. He is the elusive creator who disappeared one day without a word, never to return. If you wanted an on point character analyzation, you went to him. If you wanted the latest update on the superhero citing in your city, he was your man. If you wanted advice about something slightly illegal, he was your man.
#this is my mostly likely list of legends#i just cant see the others having tumblr#but i love this#leonard snart#mick rory#legends of tomorrow#dc legends of tomorrow#zari tarazi#gary green#ray palmer#nate heywood
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on a break
#original art#illustration#digital art#artists on tumblr#character art#marcia#marciaillust#oc art#tcm#the clockmaster#orion lavont#garret#you cant see em but ive been drawing so many cigarette pics recently#with these two just huffing darts#this pic in particular is very funny to me personally because#worst blunt rotation to these two is each other#as for regular ol smokes garret might have one but orion would probably refuse#tho tbf it depends on how the weeks is going for em. a little mild self destruction as a treat :)#but i believe orion wouldnt be into stink and gunking up his lungs on the reg. things would really have to be not optimal for him#and garret. oh garret. oh my little scrunky. smokes are so hard to steal from convenience stores arent they. and they cost so much.#i think he wouldnt even have the possibility of getting addicted or getting them on the reg#he definitely could be a social smoker#that's actually pretty funny#garret: i dont smoke unless i bummed it off someone else#i dont believe either of them knows where to get weed though
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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got him off-balance!
#my art#ds9#star trek deep space nine#julian bashir#elim garak#garashir#watercolor#image desc in alt text#i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare#“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT!#look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior#if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !”#cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad#ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole#the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod#AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel#because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it#often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows#i struggled at first to find full body references#they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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think im gonna make a substack where i can just post as frequently or infrequently as i want ... like i think all social media has some percentage of good and bad in it but honestly thinking about trying to use it in the same way i have been for like, ten years or whatever makes me wanna hurlll
#personal#its gonna be free to be clear. i literally just wanna have somewhere i can throw things 😭#and keep ppl updated. for the not tumblr users in my life#like the notion that any ''success'' or whatever ive had as an illustrator#is like 95% locked to being on *nst*gr*m and tw*tt*r...GET ME OUTTA HEREEEE#of course the posting on here will continue. i like it here#but yeah. i cant do it man...or at the least i dont want to do it anymore#but also i do LIKE sharing my work and hearing what other people think about it#(and seeing other peoples work! and engaging with it!)#so yeah. idk. everybody make newsletters or whatever#and also ive been finding myself more drawn to words than#making images lately so. having something that can be both#sounds nice
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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
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a formal thank you to jakei for not blocking me for talking about cross 174832898 times a day. i probably would block me i'm really annoying. any way i very much extremely appreciate you andyour au.hhave a good break your so cool
love wick
#bashes head into keyboard#he is taking over my mind#nvrm hes not taking it over. HE ALREADY HAS#i have bought so much merch of him#im waiting for two other things to come in so i can showcase my insanity to the people (take a photo and get 18 notes on tumblr for it)#fresh isnt the real parasite he is. he wormedhis way into ALL!! my ORGANS!!!#im nothing more than a host to talk about him and his stupid ugly awful hideous terrible face#said in the MOST loving way possible#i need a plushie of him to drag around with me. do you realize how much money id spend on that#like the absurd amount of money i would give to see that#i would back the whole kickstarter. actusally thats a lie i cant afford that but. id try#i would be so easily scammed just for his sake#do it for him....#you dont get how many thoughts of mine are overtaken by him#i have like. all of the spotify cross playlists saved#and by that i mean i stare at 3 of them go 'inaccurate he is NOT this vibe'#and then listen to the other 4 sometimes#hes fuckign driving me NUTS#i love him. mwah mwah mwah#cross sans#xtale#do i even tag this one#probably not but i like attention. this is Because my dad left me
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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chains of love got a hold on me..
#tigerghost#designs as always tm tm tm tumblr user nicktoonsunite#WHEN PASSIONS A PRISON YOU CANT BREAK FREE WHOOOOOOOOOAH YOURE A LOADED GUN#me n mels talking about how much extracurricular fun the guys could have in their hero forms#danny phantom. who can like. get chopped up in a blender and come out ok#and el 'chainhands' tigre. just saying. lots of opportunities to throw each other around for fun.#also love leaning into them both being ghosts. like yes! dannys not all alone in the human world anymore!#manny doesnt have the same fraught relationship with the ghost zone. it's a weird cool place he sometimes sees once a year#danny takes him there and he thinks its SO cool!!! kind of nice for danny. like yeah. i guess it is kind of baller.#when its decontextualized from some of the worst things thatve ever happened to you#anyways im just yappin dont pay any mind
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gonna be real seeing you boil down someone else's concerns abt making light of a rapist in media as fandom drama really hurts as someone who's experienced that kind of violence first hand. the character is fictional and obviously doesnt exist. but rape victims do exist and we see when people sexualize or joke about predators. idk. i don't intend to tell you what to do, but i hope this helps maybe explain why someone else could've been startled or upset to see that on your blog. its your space you can do what you want with it. i think some media doesn't need to be fandomized or treated as yaoi fodder. maybe it can just be taken seriously and discussed with respect. i think its pretty reasonable for victims of particular types of violence to express discomfort or concern when people joke about or make light of those who perpetrate it.
I genuinely get where you are coming from, I do. But what that ask was getting at did not convey to me what you seem to have taken from it.
There's a difference between making light of/mocking/making jokes about sexual assault/rape vs drawing a character who does those things in a narrative in an unserious way. Likewise, I feel that boiling down the narrative to just be about that One Act in many, many ways does a disservice to the narrative and characters as a whole.
I'm also not understanding where exactly this is coming from, to be entirely honest.
A person can be fully capable of breaking down and analyzing Jimmy in a way that is entirely respectful while still, also, making light of other aspects or enjoying him removed from that context. Drawing a character in a goofy way doesn't mean the person is making light of Anya's SA, or even excusing it. You can ship two characters while still finding the canon actions of one absolutely despicable. These things are not mutually exclusive!
Just as you're not telling me what to do, I'm not saying you, or that other anon, or anyone else has to put up with seeing that character or engaging with media that portrays him that way, to be clear. I'm not trying to tell you that your feelings or hurt or experiences aren't valid, they clearly and very much are.
But it's not my job, or even obligation, to protect you from it. Or any other trigger, for that matter. I do what I can with tags, but that's a courtesy I try to apply when and where I can.
That's what I'm getting at here. I tagged for him and that ship so others could avoid it if they found it upsetting. The anon did not do that, so I explained my stance.
People will engage with media in ways that are upsetting to you, or ways that even disgust you. I can't stop them, I make no plans to, and if my opinions or behaviors around this are upsetting or disappointing to you, if I endanger you or anyone by behaving this way, it is in your best interest to block me and have a safer and less stressful experience online. Those tools are readily available for that very reason.
I know far too many others who have also experienced that kind of violence, family included. I know the frustration and hurt of making light of that kind of thing, and how it can and does impact others.
But this is not that.
If, however, you feel it is, that's your right! I can't tell you how to engage with anything, nor do I intend to. I cannot change my space to fit your needs, and I'm genuinely sorry if that makes you feel unsafe or upset. I'm not trying to make light SA or the victims thereof.
I'm trying to, as best as I can, explain that policing how others engage with a fandom and its characters simply does not and cannot work. That isn't "fandom drama" - it's the psychology of humans and the media they connect with. Humans are complicated creatures, and our needs and interests vary wildly.
There is no monolithic way to demand others engage with a source material, and attempting to do so does more harm to you than that effort is worth. I hope you and that other anon can have a less upsetting day/night/etc - again, I'm sorry if this is frustrating to hear, but I fear this is an impasse we simply won't agree on in this way.
#asks#anon#i have slept for 3 hours so i hope this makes sense#im not passing judgement on jimmy other than that guy fucking sucks#however please remember that. I didn't make that art. and you have no context about the person who did#for all you know people making art in that way do so bc they cant handle the heavier aspects#there are people who do that as a way to avoid their own triggers for the same reasons you treat it seriously#victims do not only ever have one way to cope or connect with these things#all you can do is protect yourself as carefully as you can#if you need extra tags on anything with him genuinely let me know! i will add them!#im not actively in that fandom and I barely use tumblr FOR fandom#idk the tagging etiquette for it#also if you know me off anon you are free to nudge me or have a better discussion abt this in DMs#im genuinely not trying to make light of it. i just dont see where that came across in that way so I feel our perspectives arent aligned#answers#rape mention#SA mention
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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I am in rarepair hell
Reference pose by Ed van der Elsken : Couple Sleeping, 1953
#Persona 3#Mitsuru Kirijo#Shinjiro Aragaki#shinjimitsu#persona 3 reload#persona 3 portable#persona 3 fes#really hate how tumblr only recognizes the first 5 tags. hate prioritizing one of 3 instead of all but more people would see#especially portable my beloved#i started shipping them when i noticed localization in portable has them on a first name basis#like they fought side by side for years having each other's backs and all. makes sense that aki is close to them but#you never see them interact with each other. so what was the dynamic between them all? and then it just kinda devolved into#wtf would mitsuru and shinjiro even WANT to talk about? fighting strategy? fancy food? boring. they shall kiss instead.#reload barely did anything to expand on them also. so that's reloads 3rd biggest crime#was gonna swap out the booth for a couch or something but woman in ref looked like she needed booth walls for like structural comfort#highly recommend following the link to look at the photo btw. most romantic and peaceful thing I've ever seen in my life.#my art cant do the original justice seriously. not that i was trying to-this is just for funsies. and bc i need all the practice#my art#huge fan of saturated shadows if you haven't noticed#i did not know the ship name i had to look it up#my fave part was adding the shine to shinjiro's coat accents. i think it turned out nice#i think the hands turned out really nice too- universal art struggle#if i post this and notice later that there was something i forgot to do i might hit my head against the table. shit took like 2 weeks to do#like no more... plz... my attention span can only handle so much#im already mad enough at myself. i forgot to time myself and see how long this actually took#cursed beanie absence. no beanie allowed... i needed to practice hair shinnies.. he looks so weird and vulnerable without it.#plus how is ur gf supposed to run her fingers through ur hair while you slowly fall asleep in her arms if u got the beanie on???? c'mon...
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im saying it.
smile will grow older.
#fuck it#he is#im manifesting my wishes on Tumblr in order to connect mentally with Yana#out of meme#all fans believe smile will die young#but i dont think so#i think as long as he keeps it interesting for sebastian he'll be ok#?#ok maybe not that old but young adult(?#sebastian has lived a long long long demon “life”#what's 20 years more?#it should not be a lot for him#but i understand what other fans are saying i mean#in the anime he died young#the anime is basically a rough concept of the manga#buT#i refuse to believe the manga will have the same shitty ending#i just cant#smile HAS to say goodbye at least#i know this manga will not have a happy ending#i genuinely think Sebastian will eat Smile's soul bUH#when he's older i hope i mean the main thread can be stretched out as long as yana wants to i can totally see that#anyway i want smile to fucking live to have his toy factory to own that piece of land his parents loved idk i want him to own the underworld#IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???#black butler#kuroshitsuji#ciel phantomhive
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waow
#before anything else i must warn this is going to be. unorganized thoughts mostly#in the last year or so ive tried to regain confidence that i am in fact plural and am not just faking it#or mistaking other symptoms for DID. shake off the denial y'know. as is so signature for this damn disorder#a diagnosis probably wouldnt even make me feel more sure lol. and also getting diagnosed for this specifically is like#the final boss of psychiatry to put it lightly lol#but when it quiets down in headspace ur always gonna feel like. maybe its over. whatever that was#it was just me and brandy for a while#but guess who had a godawful night and then a godawful morning and split a new alter ‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥#he hates it here! he might hate me for creating him! im not sure !#hell im not even rly sure if im juno or brandy rn lol. my mind is just so messy today#i woke up.. when did i wake up. like 9:30 i think and its 1pm now and i haven't gotten out of bed#i don't even remember all that time passing . i couldve sworn its only been like an hour. two at most#on the one hand this has all been kinda terrible and mentally exhausting but at the same time. hey cant say im faking now LMAO#the other hand is brandy. the other hand is absolutely brandy. i am tired lol#im only posting this here so i can just like. process it i guess#ive had a weird time finding an outlet to just spew random thoughts into since leaving twitter so. sorry#idk if anyone's expecting this of me but i always kinda feel like i need some level of professionalism on this account#keyword some. i know this is tumblr#but idk if these very open posts are. annoying? weird? uncomfortable? entertaining somehow?#i know I know theres no point in worrying abt how others percieve you . knowing that hasnt stopped me from doing it lol#i dont remember where i was going w this. maybe i didnt have a goal in the first place#idk if you read this far i dont rly need u to act like u didnt see it cuz like. wouldnt have posted it otherwise#but idk why i am posting. idk what i want out of anyone who has read all this#maybe just. interact w this post in some way idk. it's actually kinda grounding for me if you can believe it#bleghh im thinkin of cheating on my weed break just to treat myself after all this. weed + a long walk would fix me
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