#i just cant get this idea out of my head like i NEED this in my life

[anthorius]

Where do we go from here? Chapter 2

Sevikaxfem!reader

Summary: You reminisce about how your mother did everything she could to try and make sure you had the best chance of hopefully leaving Zaun some day. Leading you to now where you finish up your shift topside before heading back down to the undercity to try and find out more about the new councilor. Running into some familiar and unfamiliar faces.

A/N: I wanted to get this posted on Valentines day but we're just gonna have to settle for the day after. I hope those who celebrated had a much better day than I did lol.

Anyway, I rewatched S2 with a literal notepad trying to jot down anything cannon that seemed important. Like I COMPLETELY forgot Jinx burned down the last drop before going to kermit. And really I know this fic doesn’t need this much work, but I’m an insane person. Idk if I mentioned but OC / Reader is from Zaun, I personally cant FATHOM the idea of Sevika after 41 years on this planet hooking up with her oppressor lmao ONE slip up even ONE smart ass comment that reinforces our class divide in a fight (cough Caitlyn cough) and I’d personally bounce so I can’t imagine her sticking with a Piltie lmao. Like I love Mel to bits, she’s hot as fuck, face card unmatched, but some of yall act like she wasn’t looking at Victor all of S1 like she was ready to call him a slur lmao. But I get Melvika I really do, put some of the baddest bitches together, I’m not mad in theory but in execution??? Small side eye lol (Also I'm fully on board with the idea Lest is trans like her VA and Ran in NB.)

You can still remember that day so clearly. The brisk early morning breeze and the slight chill it caused. The air up there was so… different than what you’d grown so accustomed to in Zaun. Wind collects on your small face, blowing back two little braids tied off with bows. The cobbled terrain slowly smoothing out into easily walkable pathways, buildings not too far ahead. You recall the warmth of your mothers hand surrounding your own. How on occasion she’d stumble a bit and lean on you, and like a good daughter you’d brace your small body to help her find her footing. The buildings were a lot closer now, and once you both hit the main road she stopped to slowly kneel and look you in the eyes.

Patting down your school uniform, she tries to make sure you look as tidy as possible, straightens your socks and double knots your small shoes.

“Okay honey, do you remember what I told you?”

you nod 

“Do you remember the landmarks I told you to look for?”

you nod

“And you have the paper with everything on it incase you get lost?”

You turn and reach into a zipped pocket on your small satchel, pulling out your emergency notes before looking back at her. 

“Good.” She returns the paper to its safe spot in your bag.

You remember just how confusingly sad she looked, the slight increase in the tightness of her grip on your small shoulders. 

“Oh my big girl” she moves to hold both your hands in hers. “You’re going to have a great first day okay?” Your only reply being a small squeeze of her hands. 

“You’ve got to get ready to go Ivy.”

…

“C- can you walk with me a little more?” The hesitation clear on her face, she fights it but you can see the tears starting to form. She looks away to view the city before you both, early morning sun just barely creeping in before looking at you in the small Piltover school uniform. She can’t help feel a sense of pride on how good the uniform looked. The stains, popped seams, and broken zipper no longer an existing factor of this second hand uniform she’d manage to get her hands on. Perfectly steamed and pressed, no one would ever be able to tell it wasn’t new. 

Her eye’s drift to her own worn in clothes, colors dingy, and very much so unbelonging up here. 

“I- I cant honey… Mommy’s sorry.” 

“I’ll be waiting right here though, in this same spot once you get out, okay?” The disappointment in your large brown eyes was something she could hardly bare. She tries to think of something better to say, anything to make this better, but before she can the sound of a door from one of the homes near by shuts.

And there stood another child, right around your age in a similar uniform. 

…

“Come on.” She slowly brings herself to stand, trying to gently approach the child.

“Excuse me! Little one!” 

The Vastayan child turns to face you both and greets you with a polite, “Yes ma’am?”

“I couldn’t help but notice you and my daughter have on the same school uniform, and today is her first day, she’s quite nervous.” You look up shyly at the child, quickly meeting eyes before looking back at the ground.

“I can’t walk with her all the way to the school, would it be alright if my daughter walked with you?”

The child looks between you both. 

“Sure! I can walk with her!” They exclaim before holding out a small hand and you can’t help but look back at your mother.

“Go on love” 

With a brave step you take the child’s hand. “What’s your name?” they ask with optimistic eyes, giving your hand an affirming squeeze. 

You glimpse back at your mother before turning to the child, “My name is Nimah.” 

You look back your mom who is smiling wide and nodding her head in approval. 

… “Whats your’s?”

“I’m Lestair!” And the child starts walking with you in tow, excitedly chattering at you. Both you and your mothers nerves ease a bit. Turning around you give a small wave to your mom, which she returns.

And as soon as you two round the first corner she finally sheds the tears she’s been fighting back. Gods she hoped this would work, she needed this to work. 

“She’ll be okay. Come on now, gather yourself” spoken with a deep inhale and wipe of her face.

She turns behind her, seeing the bricked path leading back to Zaun, she looks back to your direction at the beautiful gleaming city. And on hesitant legs she begins the walk back. 

In the lower region of Piltover sits the Atherium Library, a beacon of ancient tomes and archives. The vast domed ceiling, crafted from stained glass allows light to cast in  hues across the marble floors. Positioned under the grand library clock is a large orrery turning slowly in silent precision. Looking up you recognize its 12 minutes past your shift, you needed to leave. Now. 

Trying your best to rush and grab your things without looking too frantic you make your way outside of the Library doors. The blinding sun hindering your vision for just a brief moment before a sharp whistle pulled your focus. Shielding your eyes you look for the source until you spot tall white ears under a veranda. 

“Lest!” you quickly trot over to your friend. “Hey! I don't have much time to chat, the first council meeting should be letting out soon and I want to try and catch the new-”

Interrupting she hands you todays paper documenting the introductory council meeting, listing the names and districts of the new board members, all of which happened… yesterday.

“-councilor. “

“Sorry dear, looks like you got your dates mixed up.”

Letting out an exhale of disappointment your shoulders drop as you toss the paper on the table she was leaning on. “…Gods above.”

“I really wanted to see who Zauns new councilor was” you mention while taking the seat in front of her.

“Thats what happens when you’re constantly wringing yourself thin, you lose track of the days.”

“I know, I do really it’s just- this is without a doubt the best job I’ve ever had. And I like covering shifts! Your people pay such good money for surprisingly little labor.”

“Yes, yes so you’ve said my little archivist” she mutters while taking a sip from the drink she’d previously ordered.

“What has it been. Two months? And they still haven't found out about...  Nimah?”

You quickly silence her with a sharp “tsst! I love you dearly, stop talking.”

“There’s no one near this side of the corridor, we’re fine. I suppose I’m just… shocked is all. Through you I've been able to see just how... gullible my people can be.”

You shift forward, resting your elbows on the table, “Such blind trust is given to any official enough looking document. But what brings you to the tail end of Piltover?”

“What I can’t come check on an old friend?”

A beat passes as you hold each other’s stare, then, almost simultaneously, you both snicker. “What do you want from me now?”

“Such insulting assumptions, I have something for you this time” she says while placing a box on the table, “mother was asking of you again.” 

“Aw, your mother still thinks of me? She’s always been so kind.”

“Of course she does, you’re the only person she knows from Zaun, she worries for you. And she’s been shopping a lot more since retiring. Say’s she sees things in second hand shoppes you might like.”

You filter through the box of nearly new clothes. You couldn’t help but lament on just how wasteful topsiders could be. 

“She’s the one thats insistent I continue to keep in touch with you anyway” she says snidely. 

“Oh no, I’m so sorry you’re being forced against your will to still talk to me” you say sharing a brief pause before the two of you break out into a quiet laugher. 

“So what will you do now, there’s only her first name in the paper not a face.”

“And that was information I already had, I’m going to have to ask around, see if I can find out where she frequents.”

“I’m surprised you don’t already know her.” You can’t help but roll your eyes at her comment.

“Not everyone in Zaun knows each other Lest. Plus I do know she ran with Chem Barrons and I try to avoid them and their lackeys as much as possible.”

“I see.” She murmurs while looking back at the list of new councilors. 

…

“Might I ask a question?” 

“I don’t see why not” you muster while following her gaze to the same spot in the paper.

“I’ve just recently noticed, why don’t people from Zaun have last names?”

“Most of the populous are orphans friend, family names don’t always make it down if there’s no one to remember or document it.”

“I see, interesting.” 

You raise a brow out her.

“Well”, she says standing from her chair “my good deed for the day has been completed.”

“I’m so honored to have been the recipient of such selflessness,” you both laugh as you join her in standing from the table.

“Thank you again for these, I need to get back to the Promenade and change before heading back down.”

“Naturally, you can’t really afford to stick out.” 

Grabbing your things you make your way to leave, “I’ll see you around okay?”

“Hey” she reaches out, holding your hand in an affirming and loving grip. 

“Stay safe.” 

and you return the gesture with a small squeeze.

“You too.”

And with that you part ways with your childhood friend. Swinging through a public stall in the Promenade to change back into your regular unprofessional non piltie clothes before making the trek back. 

Once home you clear a space on your couch from the small stack books and place the box of clothes down before moving over to your desk to write out a proposal for the new councilor. In it you offer your assistance, as someones who’s managed to sneak their way up into Piltover a good portion of their life. You can get her information from archives if she needs, point her in the right direction for any questions she has about topsides political affairs. While finishing up the letter you hear a thunderous crash coming from outside your window. And since chaos often breeds information, you head out and make your way outside towards the source of the commotion.

“Huh… when did this place go up?” you whisper to yourself as the men working tear down the charred walls of what was The Last Drop. You’re then informed by one of the men that apparently Jinx tried to burn the place down before that big fight. “Thankfully someone caught it in time before it had a chance to spread” he says.  

“Oh wow” you mutter, taking in just how badly the building looked.

“Wow’s right girl” another man, this one older walks up next to you.

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Why not, gotta keep moving though so come along.” You follow the man into a more structurally sound part of the exposed building.

“What do you think of the whole, Zaun getting a council seat thing.” 

“Honest? Never thought I’d live to see the day. I’m not one to feel hopeful anymore at my age but I can’t help but feel a little… somethin’ at the idea. 

“You all talkin’ bout the new Councilor?!” shouts a younger man, carrying a wheelbarrow of burn debris making his was over to you. 

“Thieram! Come over boy” the older man waves him over.

Out of breath the younger man manages to get out, “I was so shocked to hear they actually made us a seat, almost didn’t believe it. And weirdly enough I’m honestly  grateful to hear it was Sevika who got offered the chair.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah, used to see her all the time when she was working upstairs with Silco. As scary as she is if anyone understands all the shit that’s been going on in Zaun its her.”

“I’ll have to take your word. I’ve never met her” you begin to follow Thieram to an area where they were ridding waste and charred debris.

“Count yourself lucky, the womans a force. If you saw her back when she had that insane arm you’d shit a brick. Storming into topside next to her with that thing was insane.”

That got your genuine attention, “You fought in that?!”

“Heh, yeah quite of bit of the old staff joined in. I’m grateful to have been one of the ones who made it back,” the man nervously rubs the back of his neck.

“Wow… thats- ”

“Wait you said her arm? What’s up with her arm?”

He looks at you after unloading the wheelbarrow, “The one she had during the fight was made by Jinx, definitely a design only she would come up with.” 

“The one before that wasn’t half bad either.” the older man piped in as he walked past you both..

“Oh yeah the one that took shimmer? Donnovan outdid himself on that one.”

“Donnovan?” you look between the two confused.

“Yeah older dude, his weapons shop is a bit deeper in the lanes past the roundabout.”

“Huh… well thanks for the insight.” 

“Yeah no problem.” 

And with that new info you head over to your next lead till you hear…

“Wait!” Thieram now running to your side.

“So… you just interested in learning more about the fight that went down?”

“… Certain aspects of it, yes” you give him a questioning look. 

“Well I mean, since I was there I can always give you a rundown sometime if you wanted to know more?” he begins to nervously rub at the back of his neck again. Letting out a small chuckle you politely decline his proposal, “I think I’m good, thanks” while continuing to walk away.

“Well if you ever change your mind just let me know!”

Turning on your heels you give him a parting wave with a roll of your eyes before looking for Donnovans. 

You’d never really been on the weapons district side of the lanes. Pulling your hood up you tried to stay inconspicuous as you looked for the shop. Passing through the deeper recesses, you hear deals being struck in hushed voices. The large crowd moving with purpose, you try to keep up til you finally see the round about Thieram mentioned. Stepping out of the way of traffic you scan the nearby buildings.

“Hey Don hold the door!”

Your eyes searched for the voice to find it belonged to a younger man holding a large crate walking into a small building that has definitely seen better days. The door being held open by a smaller, much older man. This had to be the place, trenching through the crowd once again you make your way into the building which alerts a little bell.

“We’ll be with you in a sec!” a voice shouted from the basement workshop down the hall of the building. 

“I’m in no rush!” you retort back.

Looking around at the array of tools was almost overwhelming. Your mother tried her hardest to keep you out of this side of the lanes when she was alive, but as you got older you could recall a few memories of sneaking around here with friends once playing topsider no longer became an option. School was expensive, money runs out, people die, and you had to find your own way after a while. Interrupted by your thoughts the older man clears his throat and walks up to his counter.

“Whatdya looking for miss?” 

“I was curious, do you limb prosthetics?”

“Only on occasion, and when the money is right. Why do you ask? He looks you up and down, “you look like you got all your limbs.”

“Asking for a friend, someone recommended you. Could I see what work you’ve done?”

He turns to a filing cabinet and flips through some manilla folders until he finds the ones he’s looking for. Splaying its contents on the table were the blueprints for a bladed hand replacement, weaponized leg prosthetic, and then you saw it, a bronze left arm with junctures that looked like they held viles. He notices your fixation on that one, “Oh that was one of my best.” 

“I’m sure you know already but this bad boy used to belong to the new council chair of Zaun” he gloats puffing out his chest. 

“No… really???” it almost left your mouth sarcastically but you reeled it in just enough to sound slightly exaggerated.

“Oh yes! See here” he pulls out more blueprints and early sketches from his time mocking up the piece. And in the midst of him excitedly talking about something he was obviously very proud of you found a way to ease in some questions. Specifically if he thought someone who owned a weapon like that was fit to be councilor. 

“Ha! thats a loaded question.” the young man interjected, carrying a small machine up from the basement.

“Yeah she’d been using that thing nearly all of Silco’s reign over Zaun. Can’t say I was too happy with what it was used for but, when money like that comes in it’s hard to turn down just cause of some morals.” He proceeded to put the device on the counter before getting started on his tinkering.

“I’m not surprised to hear you feel that way son, you were just a child when Silco took over the lanes. I didn’t know her too well before his takeover but we were familiar” he mentions as he grabs the two other unrelated blueprints to store away.

“I do recall seeing how she tried to clean up house after his death but too much time has passed, I can’t say I know what kind of person she is now.”

"K- KRRNNCH!" the jarring sound of broken and twisted metal comes from the device the apprentice was working on. 

“I hardly touched it! I swear Don I was doing like you told me!” he sputtered out quickly trying to explain himself to his boss.

“Come on, let’s get the hood off and see what you broke” Donnovan and the young man head down to the basement area while you stayed to look at the blueprints, “We’ll be right back.”

“No problem” you waved them off.

Looking through the documents you notice there are a lot of duplicates, to which you quickly fold up and pocket away. They had plenty, you’re sure they wont notice a few missing. You quickly gather up whats left and start to clean up the stack when he comes back. Handing him the papers you thank him for his help and let him know you’ll keep him in mind for your friends new piece before walking out the door. 

Playing detective was starting to wear you out, especially since you decided to do all of this right after work. Accepting what you’d gotten for now your stomach lead you back to a pub not too far from your home. Once inside you placed a togo order and grabbed a drink while you waited. This place was way more packed than what you were used to for some reason. Looking through the crowd of loud patrons one in particular caught your eye. 

Making your way over to the pool tables you see the familiar face lining up their shot, and right after taking it you butt in with a loud, “Double hit.”

“Like hell it was-” they shouted, annoyed and turning to see the source of the false call only for them to break out into a grin once they notices it’s just you.

“Oh shit whats up Ivy” Ran goes to pull you in for a quick side hug. “Since when do you hang out over here.” 

“I feel like I should be asking you that considering I actually live on this side of the lanes.”

“True, they’re still working on rebuilding The Last Drop so we had to find somewhere to go” they shrug off, before going to line up their next shot. 

“That makes sense,” you notice the woman at the bartop is waving you over to grab your order. Making your way, you snag your dinner and head back over to Ran. 

“Hey can I ask you something.”

“Shoot,” they go to lean on their pool cue.

“You used to run with jobs with Sevika right?”

An abrupt hand gets placed over your mouth before they turn in their cue and drag you outside the bar.

“Hey maybe don’t ask that kind of stuff in a big crowd like that. But yeah I used to some time back. Why are you asking anyway? Most make the effort to avoid her.”

Rans eyes then narrow in on you as they get closer. “Are you in trouble or something? What did you do?”

Extending your arm you push on their chest to get some space back. “No jeeze, and I haven’t done anything… I’m just asking.”

The glare of disbelief Ran gave you made itself clear, but they continued on anyway. “Since word got around that she accepted the Councilor position it’s been real hard to get a hold of her these last few days. Either they got her up there doing who knows what or she’s trying to lay low for a bit. They’re probably driving her insane already. 

You continue to listen intently, watching them fidget around with their metal hand while talking.

“Most of Zaun seems pretty hopeful about her being on the Council tho. But it might just be the shock that they finally acknowledged us. No one’s bold enough to say shit to her right now though with all the change happening.”

“Huh… I see.”

“So?” 

“So what?”

“What’s got you so curious shorty?” they ask giving your shoulder a playful shove. 

“I have something to offer her. It’s important.”

Rans face falls into a more serious stare. 

“Ive-”

“Don’t ‘Ive’ me Ran, we aren’t kids anymore, I’m fully capable of managing on my own.”

“Ha! Sure, maybe against your average thug but her?? Really??”

The baffled expression on your face gets a small chuckle out of them. “It’s not like I’m not challenging her to a fight! I just!-

You then realize you were shouting.

I just need to give her a letter, you relay in a lower volume while pulling the envelope out of your bag.

Cocking their eyebrow at you Ran gets back into your space, “You want me to get it to her?”

Immediately you recoil your hand holding the letter back, “Fuck no! you’re gonna open it or lose it or something!”

Ran steps in once more causing you to move back and make contact with the brick wall behind you. Their metal hand now by your head propping them up as they lean in to talk to you.

“Oh come on Ivy, don’t do me like that” the shit eating grin creeping on their face.

Unconvinced you hold their glare, only for Ran to concede with a roll of their eyes.

“Look you have my word I won’t open it. AND I’m more likely to see her around than you.”

The skepticism must’ve been clear on your face because they continue, “Come on, what other options you got? Keep running through Zaun asking suspicious questions?”

You hate to admit it but they were right, now it was your turn to yield.

“Ran I mean it, un opened. None of that heating up adhesive and resealing it shit.”

“Fine.” They say snatching the letter out of your hands, “So what do I get in return for such a kind favor?”

“Gods above,” you roll your eyes, “What do you want?”

“You know what,” the say tapping the edge of the letter on your forehead, “when I’m ready to cash in my favor I’ll come for you.”

Stepping forward you go to push past them, “Gee thanks Ran.”

“Anytime Ive!” the shout, seeing you off with a wink while you wave them off to head back home.

Finally back home and done with the day you sit at the small dining table to eat before going through the clothes Lest’s mother got you. Looking them over you notice some small stains, a popped seam here and there but aside from that perfectly fine clothes, “so wasteful” you mutter. Choosing one of the outfits for work tomorrow you grab your mending kit to sew up the small patch, and hit the cuffs with a quick iron to take some of the wrinkles out. Sealing the outfit in a laundromat bag you hang it from one of the pipes that cuts through your apartment into the next, and finally after such a grueling day you go climb into bed trying to get some rest before work tomorrow.

[bazpango]

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

OH MY GOD.

I have watched this so many times, I cant stop watching it. My heart is on fire. I need to punch a pillow. Oh my god. I am going to upload screencap without your consent and gush about them individually because I cannot believe you made something THIS elaborate and beautiful (and might I just say, the execution is chef’s fucking sloppy kiss)

Firstly, what a fucking opener. The spy film cold open that says This is a Story about Rivals, paired with the newspaper transition????? Lawliet’s little grin. Light’s hesitation, his anxiety, his inability to determine what he is doing out of sheer survival instinct and what is a genuine want? I’m fucking deceased.

PUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Bro. Bro. You have no idea. You have no fucking idea. THIS is EXACTLY how I pictured the scene in my head. THIS IS IT. The complete disdain in Light’s face and body language to be getting checked out by a professional ™ and then Lawliet’s just sitting there LITERALLY minding his own business (like a renaissance damsel draped over fine silk jfc). That happy trail makes my mouth water. I am horny now. Oh my god. Oh my god!!!!!!!!

UGH. Your use of camera to create either a sense of invasion or isolation has my knees fucking WEAK. The static crawling up his face is SUCH a clever way to showcase how he is feeling (or rather, very visually, how feelings are HAPPENING to him whether he likes it or not). Me too Light, me too. That close up contrasted by this just, horrific fish out of water isolation he has out on the ice. There is discomfort or there is nothing, and what a way to live? I’m fucking sick.

Finally finally finally the thing that made my heart LEAP out of my chest. You don’t understand. You don’t understand Nezz. Bro. Just. I’m fucking sick. The way you connected these two ideas. It’s just. Holy fuck it’s better than anything I could have ever imagined.

I love you I love you I love you I am going to watching this one thousand times every day I can’t believe you’ve done this. I’m sick I’m fucking sick, this was so fucking beautiful to watch.

so normal about @bazpango 's hockey people guys did you know im normal about hockey people

i love how you can just tell when my hands were getting tired but i desperately needed to get these men out of my mind anyways cough uh go read hockey yaoi im SO normal about them

[futuristichedge]

[superstargaycare]

nexember day 10 - guy who is normal abt butterflies (i can be trusted to be normal about butterflies) this design is by the wonderful @@alex-finechi-is-back !! i rlly love the concept of nexus's body physically showing signs of star power strain and this is suchh a unique way of doing it, butterflies 10/10

[ireallyneedaintrestinglife]

Ok I know this would never happen in canon but like I cannot get the idea out of my mind.

We know that Ealdor is a small village on the edge of Cenreds kingdom, near Camelot. Imagine Cenred traveling through Ealdor to get to Camelot so they can make some kind of deal or whatnot and they stop at Ealdor for the night.

When they arrive everyone is all 'yes sire' 'of course sire' bowing and polite and 'my king this' or 'my king that'. Except, that is, for Merlin. He gets scolded by Hunith multiple times to not stare directly at royalty and to bow and do this or that but he flat out refuses to speak to them at all.

This eventually leads to Hunith coming up with the lie that Merlin can't speak so he, hopefully, won't get in trouble for not treating them with the respect they think they deserve.

When Hunith finally manages to drag Merlin into their little cottage to ask him why he's acting this way Merlin mentions that Cenred feels icky and wrong. When she tries to get him to elaborate Merlin can only respond with a few short words.

"He is NOT My King"

[triglycercule]

dust and horror angel and demon themes,,,, they could totally parallel each other...... :3

dust=angel of death described in the delta rune prophecy (self declared) (i DEFINITELY elaborated on this one waayyyy before but anyways dust with a fucked up savior complex SAVE ME SAVE ME.... death is a blessing ass guy. life is torment and he will be the one to liberate monsters from their bodies and with the strength they provide to him be able to take down evil evil creation of pure misery that is the human ✨✨✨ dont worry his evil cackles are to HIDE HIS PAIN of saving everyone....... trust)

horror=demon that dragged everyone in horrortale into hell (as perceived by everyone else) (i think it would be a cool hc if everyone outside of snowdin viewed horror as literally a demon. maybe undyne preaches that. anyone outside of snowdin might be WAYYY worse because they starve for longer and literally take part in cannibalism so they might not have the same sort of mild sanity that snowdin residents do,,,, besides he DID kinda bring them all eternal suffering. kinda. nobody but undyne knows what happened at the core so she could totally just paint the story to blame horror fully)

ANYWAYS i like the possible dynamics this could have :333

dust to horror (please let me kill you PLEASE let me kill you i can end it all so peacefully wouldn't it be nice??? i promise ill make it quick just for you),,, horror to dust (i want you to live and suffer with what youve done i want you to watch all of your choices hit you one day and i'll be there and laugh at you. i'll keep you alive just to keep you suffering ok?)

OR dust to horror (you dont deserve to die you dont deserve to even be hurt by me. not because youre the exception but youre the Exception i absolutely loathe you so youll never get the sweet release of death :3) and horror to dust (just let me die already i dont wanna be here. youre supposed to be a savior right??? an angel?? then why don't you save me already when i need it more than anyone else)

[musubiki]

lately ive been thinking about the contrast going on in Early Lime where hes like "tbh im pretty sure i could have any girl i wanted including mochi i mean i guess if she wanted we could give it a shot one day but i dont really care lol" and then very easily becoming completely unhinged for her the second he gets a tinge of romantic affection

[miumura]

i hate when i have writing ideas but don’t have all the time to sit down and write them all 💔

[persy-r-bozo]

[icewindandboringhorror]

The "average" person on facebook is so scary lol.. I’ve just seen someone post a status earnestly being like “whew thank god, SO happy to see there are armed security in front of my local Target store now! finally all those nasty thieves can be dealt with! <3” with nothing but complete agreement in the comments, plus people wishing anyone who shoplifts gets shot like "hopefully they're actually allowed to use their guns LOL! ;)" and that getting positive likes and reactions... ??? The whole attitude of "Oh noooo! :( Not someone taking like $40 of stuff from target! :( This is definitely not part of a larger systemic problem and could clearly all be solved if only I were just able to watch them be violently assaulted, which I am REALLY looking forward to because I am very normal and healthy :) God I wish so desperately that I could watch a poor person get gunned down in front of me, I dream everyday about seeing other human beings maimed!! Which again, is a completely normal healthy thing to wish for! :) Thank god I'm not some immoral thieving barbarian! And thank god for Target! :) <3" and that it's normalized enough that nobody in all the hundred comments finds it bizarre at all like.. hewwo..

[nezz-cringe-crib]

light yagami's black-and-white mindset is so interesting and i want people to expand on it more. like that one time where he sincerely considered killing the bullies at his school. the only (stated) thing that prevented him from following through with the kill is the fact that it was too closely connected to him. it wasn't the fact that they were also still kids, nor the fact that being kids meant they had more of a chance to still change for the better, but the fact that it would up his chances on getting caught. which is so insanely interesting to me.

following this logic would imply a belief that anything that rots stays rotten-- which ironically is exactly the same kind of mindset that light's initially trying to combat. light yagami fights under the impression that the only way to restore justice and protect the innocent is through extreme methods (since the current method of a courtroom is clearly flawed). his extreme methods consist of, as we all know, executing criminals, making an example out of them, and then uniting all the "righteous" civilians under a benevolent god. this way, in his eyes, all the wicked have been plucked and the remaining will never step close to crime because of the fear of being next.

that's christianity. light yagami has re-created christianity.

those exact three things can all be found in the bible (or at least the one i read). and they also can be found in american and british history. y'know because of christianity. no matter how much you try you cannot eradicate christianity from these histories because of how influential it was in the culture. this is also why you can't pluck it from american law either. light yagami is not american, but this still applies to other justice systems as well. religion is such an integral part of early society i would argue you couldn't strip a religion from any nation's law. light yagami does not restore justice, he creates a religion, which is why the justice system he's fighting exists in the first place. he just restarted the cycle. and that is so incredibly ironic to me.

he is a teenager and it shows. he is so incredibly detached from both life and death and it shows. i don't even know how this turned into me talking about religion this whole thought process was sparked from fucking Pumped Up Kicks i need to put this man in a blender.

[puppppppppy]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

[arolesbianism]

I wanna take a crack at making some fake screenshot graphics for my Sif Odile duo loopers au but I do not feel confident enough in my ability to mimic isat's art style and I also have a crippling fear of drawing backgrounds

[lazaruspiss]

i am. tired. u may have noticed that i am... "American" n what not.

I dont have the mental stability to keep up w all the... everything. but news of so and so trying to take citizenship from ppl born here whose parents came here Illegally (unconstitutional, not feasible, most likely just a scare tactic) made its way to me. and 2 things.

1) "we're gonna stop illegal immigration by retroactively making more people into illegal immigrants" ...very cool guys. very smart.

2) im like. 2nd gen i think? my mom was born here but her bio dad was not lol. hope my bio gramps doing ok wherever he is. never met the guy and tbh he sounds like a dick from what lil i know of him, but no one deserves. yknow. the. well i dont think theyre called camps but i cant remember the word. detention center or smth? im tired lol

[aromantic-karamatsu]

Yeah thing abt anxiety is you actually literally do have to grab your brain sometimes and go "Are you actually in danger?! Is this problem something we can actually fix now or is it a situation that is out of our control and therefore worrying about it actually does nothing?! Huh?!" And then force yourself to realize what situations your anxiety is ACTUALLY helpful and how to let go in situations where it isnt

Unfortunately this is not a skill that you get with a snap of your fingers, you literally have to TEACH yourself how to do it and it's painful.

Even more unfortunately rational people sitting outside of your anxiety are NOT AWARE that this is a literal skill you were basically born without and just tell you "calm down" without understanding YOU DON'T HAVE THE TOOLS TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT. If someone who was super good at weight lifting told me, a beginner at weights, to just "pick up a 50 pound dumbbell" I'D DIE, because I haven't trained to do that! I quite literally don't have the muscle or knowledge on proper techniques to do that without hurting myself, physically or emotionally!!!

So yes, sometimes you DO have to take the high road and just tell yourself "I do NOT need to worry about this" even though it feels stupid and useless because you still worry, but you also have to forgive yourself and understand you are learning! It won't be easy the first few times, and even when you get more used to self soothing and emotional regulation sometimes it's not linear and it's like your first day of lifting weights all over again!

I just think we as a society do need to understand that anxious disorders are both something we (anxious people) can NOT control without effort and therapy and that we (anxious people) need to realize sometimes we DO have to put in painful, uncomfortable work to manage it! It sucks but thats life, and it can get easier with the right support and whatever treatment looks like for you!

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinkbing about. him