#i just add the spices whenever the recipe tells me to

[moripartylove]

The problem is, I could not answer a single of those questions for a single spice I use

"Which spices go with which foods" lists are of limited value to me because, like, I have functioning taste buds. What I really need is a "spices that need to be added at the start of the cooking time in order to properly develop versus spices that need to be added in the last five minutes because extended heating fucks up the flavour profile" list – that shit is not intuitive.

[oddballwriter]

Made with Love

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Summary: A blurb where you cook Steven some traditional hispanic food because he's curious about how it tastes. 

Warnings: No actual warnings that I actually know of. Reader is meant to be read as hispanic or be of some hispanic/latin background. Steven centric but Marc and Jake are also mentioned.  

Author’s Snip: Listen I just wanted to make something kinda cute and wholesome that also involves a bit of some culture that I have from my hispanic/Mexican heritage, I also just wanted to fully embrace latino Jake because I just wanted to.

Notes: I'm not translating the dishes just look it up if you don't know what they are. Also this wasn't proof read before posting 

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

One of Steven's, and the rest of the system's, favorite things after a long day of working is coming home to your cooking. You taken on the role of being the one to make dinner after you saw that the boys could barely scrape together good food for themselves thanks to their short free time and deemed their boy dinners unacceptable.

You had a knack for making their favorite foods and keeping track of their varying palates and preferences. Of course there was Steven being vegan, but the other two had their own preferences. Marc didn't really have much of any preferences but you did find that he was a big fan of the french onion soup recipe that you make.

Jake wasn't all that picky either since he hardly came out and would just eat left overs. But after a while you found that he loves himself some hispanic foods, and by god were you happy to accommodate. When he came back from missions he would usually crash on the bed and let the others wake up in the body afterwards, but you would somehow figure out that he's the one fronting and make him some traditional dishes which he couldn't help but stay just to eat it.

You made him all kinds of dishes. Tamales. Pollo y arroz con mole. Chilaquiles. Ceviche con tostadas.

You did feel a bit bad since you knew Steven didn't like meat. But Jake would beg you to make the dishes how they're usually made, which commonly involves meats, and Steven never held it against you if you did feed Jake using the traditional recipes.

Though Steven did mention that he always wondered what they tasted like. Just he's had a vegan taco but at this point everyone in the world's had a taco and the like. He wants to try the food that actually comes from and is made with their original recipes. But he knew that hispanic food often had meat in it and he didn't want you to have to go through the trouble of making a new recipe just because of him.

But when Steven set aside his bag, took off his coat, and sat down at the table he found what looked like food that was intended for Jake. It was what he learned was called ceviche and tostadas, which often contained shrimp. He opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it.

"Don't worry. It's completely vegan." you smile. "Love," he mutters, "Thank you. But you really didn't have to go through all this trouble just to make me something tha-" he continues, but you stop him again.

"It wasn't that troublesome. It's the same process. I just changed the shrimp out for something else." you explain. "But," you add, raising your finger. "That's the only thing I changed about it. Everything else is authentic to the original, like you said whenever you mentioned you wanted to try some food, so I held back no spices." you warn.

Steven smiles and nods as you go and grab some drinks before sitting in your chair. "Thank you then." he chirps. "I know that it shouldn't be that spicy. At least by Jake's standards since he douses his in hot sauce." Steven comments. You giggle, "I always tell him that if he wants something spicy then I can just make him aguachile." you remark.

As it turns out Steven held up just fine and even said that he enjoyed how much flavor the dish had to it with an added"I understand why Jake likes it so much.".

[tennessoui]

girl your hanahaki au is absolutely wrecking my shit i--- I don't ever read ongoing fics and this is why. I just cannot wait?!? But the waiting somehow makes it better too?!? I'm literally dead bro I can't I love it so much

hahah omg thank you !! I’m really happy to hear you took a chance on this wip and that you like it so much!

not to get on my soapbox or anything but you have given me a great corner to shout from

as a disclaimer I totally understand why people will choose not to read wips and I truly think you know your mental health and what you can stand to wonder about/think about/obsess over/NEED to know a conclusion for better than anyone else

BUT as a writer who almost exclusively posts in wips, people reading them before they’re finished is my life blood and I am so grateful and it makes the writing process so much more fun for me because I know at least someone else is invested in my brainworm of a story?? someone else is enjoying it and thinking about it and I’m putting a small amount of good into the world??

the best analogy I’ve been able to come up with is like:

when you read a finished fic you’re eating a whole meal and that’s great that’s so amazing (especially if you tell the cook you liked it after you’re done). and you’re literally always welcome to eat that meal whenever you want. finished fics are like standing dinner invitations: I am always happy to have you and I mean that very genuinely

but if you read a wip, you’re keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook. and that’s sort of priceless. in some instances, you can even tell me the food needs more spice and I’ll think about it and listen!!! you’re sitting on my kitchen counter as I bustle around my space and we’re talking about what I’m doing and also how I’m feeling and maybe how you’re feeling and it just feels like community more than anything else I’ve experienced in any fandom. like you’re with me in my space as I’m creating food I hope you like. we’re both invested and it’s amazing

and I think in general that’s why wips are a lot of fun and also maybe why the waiting between chapters is fun for you - you’ve suggested that I add paprika to the pot and you’re waiting and wondering if I will, and I’m laughing and hoping you like the soup either way but also wondering if paprika will work with the recipe, and if I can add a bit to it just for you while staying true to the dish I envisioned at the get go.

[thegamingcatmom]

I've loved what you've done with the ideas that I throw your way!

Your writing's always great!

You're one of my fav writers, and whenever you update with your answers to asks on what the characters would think for things? always brings joy to my day!

Not an idea but a thought to a question that came up,

I've realized now that you've brought up kitchen use...and carmen mixing up salt and sugar cause they can't taste....

How are they gonna feed MC? like, is she gonna be fed take out? From your last answer to the ask, Tanya definitely isn't gonna want to let her cook when MC's attention could be on her,

But let's say Carmen, who wants to work on humaning tries to make her a meal...

I've just had a realization that they've lived for quite some time, and it's been a long time since any of them were people who required food and used a kitchen in such a manner,

Like, I assume they'd have been taught to cook within their time periods before when they were still humans growing up,

But also, how well do they truly remember those recipes from, say (carmen was turned in the 1700s? and tanya kate and irina 1000s?) so like centuries to millenia old recipes that they partially remember from their time when they were still human if they even remember at all that is (don't get me started on if they can't find the necessary ingredient for some old dish that they assume MC will love)

Like they don't eat human food unless MC offered and is watching them 👀 and they think it'll score them some points or infuriate Tanya(getting off track whoops) and haven't cooked for way way WAY longer,

And they technically could follow a recipe, but at the same time, what are the odds that one of them go

"I feel like this needs more seasoning, the amount the recipe lists honestly sounds like it'll turn out bland in proportion to the volume of liquid in here already"

*proceeds to add in a cup of salt to the stew or whatever it is they're trying to cook*

"don't want it to be under seasoned"

*dumps in half a cup of saffron and cinnamon*

"I used to make this all the time when I was human....now how much of this spice did I need?"

Or how some people go "measure with your heart" and pours in a mega ton of whatever other ingredient

And they wouldn't be able to know that it's bad or overly seasoned since it's human food in the first place.

Unless they actually follow a recipe for something or make simple foods that actually turn out edible.

Like MC is gonna either have take out, home cooked overly seasoned to the point that it's questionable if edible meals, old old recipes, or idk maybe like instant meals. At least until they hopefully give in to letting MC cook

But also like imagining Tanya at first trying to cook for MC to get her to warm up to her and maybe thinking she can try to gain her affections by feeding her her cooking or whatever, but it just goes no.

-📚 sorry that it's kinda really wordy😣

Ahhh, thank you so much for your lovely words! 🙈🥰

I love answering them and feeding my own obsession as well as yours, hehe. It´s so motivating receiving yalls asks, you have no idea. Whenever a new one pops up and I get a notif on my phone, this is legit me:

GIMME THAT GOOD STUFF. 😩🤌

.

Ahh yes, yes, yes-

LISTEN-

Take out? And risk MC getting sick from all that stuff?? Nuhu, not on Carmen´s watch-

(Kate would be all for it probs. Anything that keeps the hooman fed and alive is good enough for her.

...Until the hooman does get sick for the very first time. Tanya would banish the word alone, lemme tell ya.)

I´ve been thinking about that as well, actually. Quite often.

Like yes, I defo think they got some recipes that they´ve frequently cooked up as humans, especially Carmen. Yall can´t tell me that woman wouldn´t serve MC some Spanish cuisine like a true chef-

...If only she knew how. 😭

She used to. But it´s been years since then. I do think they kinda remember the things that were most important to them as humans, but it´s probs fading more and more the longer they wander this earth. In the end, it´s nothing more than an echo - still there, but just out of reach.

BUT-

Good thing she´s got her vampy brain. It´s faster. More capable. Stores information better. All MC´s gotta do is make damn sure those jars are properly labeled (salt, sugar, etc.) and we´re good. 💪

It might take a bit (like, 2 days probs) but, before long, Carmen will have read any and every book about Spanish cuisine there is, and she WILL work her way through every single recipe, and she WILL cook them all up, if it´s the last thing she does.

And, who knows, perhaps it sparks something within her? Brings back some memories from her past life? So she can finally make that Spanish dish she herself enjoyed so much as a human? She knows it´s up there *points to head* somewhere.

Like, can you imagine MC tasting it for the very first time and thinking it´s the best thing ever?? Can you imagine the LOOK on Carmen´s face?? If she was still human, you can bet your ass there would be tears-

.

Carmen: *sets the plate with her fav Spanish dish in front of MC, a somewhat anxious look on her face*

MC: *eyes it suspiciously, but then remembers Carmen´s nice, so she tries to look like she looks forward to having a taste*

MC: *looks up at Carmen*

Carmen: 👀

MC: 😬

MC, internally: 💀

MC: *looks back down at her dish and accepts her fate cause what is she to do?*

MC: *takes the fork and goes for a very hesitant first bite*

Carmen: 👀

MC: *chews*

Carmen: 👀

MC: *chews some more*

Carmen: 👀

MC: "..."

Carmen: 👀

MC: "..."

Carmen, thinking it sucks ass: 😰

Carmen: "What is missing this time? Or is it too spicy? It is, is it not? I swear I did everything as I remembered it, down to the very last ingredient-"

MC, finally deciding to put that poor woman out of her misery: "It tastes...good."

Carmen: "..."

MC, not even trying to hide her surprise: "...Really good, actually."

Carmen: 👀

MC: 👀

MC: *wastes no more time and dives right in for more, finally some good fucking food-*

Carmen, only now realizing what just happened: ��😀😍

Also Carmen, two seconds later: 🥹

Tanya, in the distance: *betrayal, jealousy, indignation*

Also Tanya: *already scheming to steal that damn notepad Carmen´s no doubt used to write down the recipe for later use*

Kate, right next to Tanya: *already scheming to steal another indirect kiss...or perhaps try for an actual one, seeing how the lil spitfire seems to be in rather good spirits right now, hmm...*

Irina: *please hold the line*

MC: *still happily munching*

Carmen: 🥰

.

LIKE, YKNOW???

Carmen is too precious for this world. 😭

But ye, that´s pretty much what would happen. Carmen´s gonna make sure the hooman is well-fed so ppl won´t even think about getting her that greasy take out. She might have left her human days behind her centuries ago, but even she recognizes a potential heart attack when she sees one.

.

But I LOVE all your ideas, as per usual. The one with failing to purchase an ingredient because it might no longer exist in this mordern world?? At least not under the name they used to know it by?? PLEASE. 😭

.

But also, the one where they just pour stuff in like no tmr in hopes it´s gonna be the right amount and MC will remain standing?? PLEASE. 💀

But also also, I actually don´t think they´d do that. (Anymore.) At least not until they got the hang of it all. And, if they did decide to season it, then they´d start with something they´ve already made. Yknow, just try out a lil something. Nothing too over the top. Just a smidge. See how MC reacts first. See if she drops dead-

RIGHT, so-

I think they´d go strictly by recipe until they figured it all out. Lest they give MC an actual heart attack...

.

Right so, Carmen cooking is all fine and dandy-

...Until it isn't. Because once the initial joy over getting something edible has faded somewhat, MC realizes that she's bored. Terribly so. (Because, if it was up to Tanya, she'd be sitting somewhere looking pretty all day, nothing more, nothing less. Laying around works too, ofc. Works even better.) And also, she's never been one to let others do the work for her. She's very much capable of fending for herself, tyvm.

So, you can bet your ass she WILL help Carmen cook, if it's the last thing she does.

And Carmen? There's no way she's gonna deny her. She just doesn't have it in her. In fact, she'll be most pleased to spend some quality time with her daughter-in-law charge.

...Unlike her leader.

Nuhu. Impossible. Out of the question. Under no circumstances will she allow her troublemaker-

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😤

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😠

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😒

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😑

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😐

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 🙁

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😕

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: ☹️

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😖

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya, hesitantly opens one eye: 👁

The Troublemaker: 😔

Tanya: 😮‍💨

The Troublemaker: 😔

Tanya, sighing: "...Alright. BUT, I shall oversee proceedings at any time very closely-"

The Troublemaker: 🤩

Tanya: "..."

The Troublemaker: 🥰

Tanya: 🥴

Carmen, having watched it all unfold: 😏 🤭

.

Who is manipulating whom exactly? PLEASE. 😭

.

Okay but also Tanya trying to cook something up for MC so she can preen under her attention and praise, just like Carmen did?? And, in order to accomplish that, she might just go through with her plan of stealing that damn notepad?? Girl is desperate, lemme tell ya. 😭

But also, even if she did manage to steal that notepad, she gotta actually cook it too. Somehow, I don't see our proud coven leader being very good at following instructions (because she can do it ten times better). Especially not when it comes to MC, lol. They´re more alike than MC realizes, I reckon.

ANYWAY-

Tanya´s probs gonna take one look at that recipe and go like "Hmm, okay yeah sounds legit but no" and yknow, just put her own spin on it because there´s no way she´s just gonna copy someone. Especially when it comes to doing anything for MC. (She must stand out.)

(We´re not gonna talk about the fact that she still kinda copies someone by using that recipe in the first place. No, we´re not.)

She´s Tanya Denali, head of the Denali coven, and she will NOT rely on others when it comes to providing for MC. Not on her watch. She´s gonna use Carmen´s recipe and morph it into something that screams "Tanya Denali". (Only Tanya knows what that means, I´m afraid.)

OR, in other words:

It goes just as horribly as we all probs imagine:

Tanya: *sets the plate full of...something in front of MC, looking all proud and smug*

MC: *not even trying to hide her suspicion (and slight disgust) this time*

Tanya, entirely confident: 😌

MC, dares to look up from her plate of horror: 👀

Tanya: 😌

MC, realizing she has no choice if she wants to eat today: 💀

Tanya: 😌

MC: *lifts the fork to her mouth...very slowly indeed*

Tanya: 😌

MC: *closes her mouth around the fork*

Tanya: 😌

MC: *starts chewing*

Tanya, unable to hide her curiosity any longer at the chewing sound: 👀

MC: *some more chewing*

Tanya: 👀

MC: "..."

Tanya: 👀

MC: "..."

Tanya: 👀

MC: *looks up at Tanya with nothing short of agony written all over her face*

Tanya, quickly schooling her face into one of smugness again: 😌

MC, struggling to speak through her mouthful which she has yet to swallow: "It´s..."

Tanya, most attentive now as she´s looking MC dead in the eyes: 👀 "Delicious?"

MC: "..."

Also Tanya: 👀 "Exquisite?"

MC: "..."

Also Tanya: 👀 "Just as expected?"

MC: *finally swallows down her mouthful with great difficulty so she can answer*

Tanya: 👀

MC, who has expected it to be quite horrible indeed: "...I guess you could say that."

Tanya, who has never once doubted her abilities: 😌

Also Tanya, internally: 🤩😍🥰🥴

MC, on the outside: 🥲

MC, on the inside: *already plotting her grand escape from the kitchen*

.

Mistakes were made. Misunderstandings were born.

I MEAN-

Girl was trying, aight?? 😭

.

.

.

Tysm for another one of your lengthy asks! Whenever I answer one of these I feel like we're doing our own lil spin-off à la "Keeping Up With..." 😅🤭

Have a great day and cya at the next one! ❤️

[tunastime]

Wait, I just saw in the tags you have the soup recipe... May we see it? I low-key live off of soup, and this sounds very good 👀

-🍂

OF COURSE YOU CAN SEE IT

Ingredients:

1 medium onion (chopped)

1 can (4 oz/~113 g chopped) mushroom

2 tbsp (~30 g) butter

3 c (600 g) water

2 c (400 g) chicken broth

3/4 c (6 oz/~170 g) wild rice

2 c (400 g) cooked turkey

1 c (200 g) heavy cream

salt/pepper/parsley to taste

Directions:

In a saucepan, sauté onion and mushroom in butter until onion is clear. Add in water, broth, and rice with seasoning; bring to a boil. Reduce and simmer for 20-25 minutes until rice is tender. Stir in turkey and heavy cream until heated. Add your spices whenever (but I do it last!)

i've made it once before and i think it lends itself well to additions like potatoes, or chicken instead of turkey. my family does turkey during the holidays so it's perfect for anything leftover!

but you gotta get something to dip in the soup too (ty ghost for always telling me that). i suggest bread (as usual) <3

[babyyweebbitch]

Sorry to bother you again D:

Can I please request headcanons for Erron, Hanzo, Kitana, and Johnny having a thicc, female S/O who loves food, experimenting with various recipes?

you’re not bothering me at all! i’m sorry it took a while🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️ (BRUH IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I AM MENTALLY UNWELL OK-)

trigger warning : spoilers for Johnny cages but

𝙴𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚗 𝙱.

i have a headcannon that Erron loves food as much as you do! whenever hes home with you hes always asking if you could try out a few recipe every night hes home.

he loves to watch you in the kitchen whenever you cook. he’s always wanted to have a somewhat normal life with a woman he loves, he’s never had that in this life since he’s always fighting with other realms and such.

obviously he offers to help you with whatever you need, weather it be passing you stuff, mixing something for you or whatever you ask, hes happy to do anything for you

he’s the type to ask to taste your food as you’re cooking it. i don’t know why but he gives off those vibes, he also always washes off his spoon if he’s gonna be trying a lot of things. he knows it’s just gonna be you, him and maybe Kano and Kabal eating but he doesn’t wanna get his “germs” in the food

whenever you’re waiting for a timer for anything he likes to dance with you in the kitchen. he likes to twirl you around in the dining room while there’s music playing (he also likes to hold ur hips👁👁)

long story short, he loves your cooking he thinks you should be a billionaire chef tbh

𝙷𝚊𝚗𝚣𝚘 𝙷.

Hanzo loves to help you while you cook. he never wants to sit by and just watch because he doesn’t want you feel like you’re the only one doing anything even though you’ve told him countless times you don’t mind

while he’s helping you he likes to tell you about his day but he loves to hear about yours. he’s not really home during the day so he has no idea what you’re up to all day so he loves to hear about it so he feels included in a way

he’s the type to add spices to his food so you might have to make a separate batch just for him the way he likes it just incase you don’t like spicy food

whenever hes home for a long period of time he loves to bake some sweet things. he has a slight sweet tooth and he barely gets to eat sweets since he has to maintain his diet due to his occupation but if hes ever injured and he knows hes not gonna be fighting for a while he likes whenever you make him sweet treats or he’ll even make some for you if you’re ever out and he wants to surprise you

𝙺𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 𝙺.

kitana has a very large kitchen with basically anything you can think of inside. all the different pots, pans, plates, bowls literally ANYTHING. there are some things you’ve never heard of or seen in there. so you’re pretty much cooking or baking a lot. you spend a lot of time in the kitchen cooking stuff for kitana (and sindel and shao because you’re nice)

just like Hanzo she’s not home alot so she can’t be there with you whenever you’re cooking and it saddens her because he likes to watch stuff happen from beginning to end.

but, whenever she is she is always helping you and always around you. she likes to make other things while you’re making one. like if you’re making dinner she’s making dessert, if you’re making dessert she’s making dinner and such.

her favourite thing that you make is Udon with small thin slices of meat. you made it one day just because you were bored and had kitana eat some to see if it was good. she fell in love with the food immediately and now you guys have it every day she’s home for lunch

𝙹𝚘𝚑𝚗𝚗𝚢 𝙲.

i feel like johnny is kinda a little chef himself 😀 Cassie always tells you how he would always make food for her and Sonya (when she was alive) so you who likes to make food a lot and experiments with different styles and recipes is kinda like a (second) match made in heaven, he loves to do the same thing

he is like Hanzo, he hates feeling like you’re just doing everything by yourself so he helps you, even if you say you don’t need it. he can just hand you stuff to make your life easier or clean up a mess as you’re making it. so if there is a pile flour on the counter, he cleans it. he also likes to wash utensils/dishes once you’re done using them. i feel like he picked this habit up from Sonya when they were married, she would always clean up a mess as she was making it, so it rubbed off on him

he’s also the type to start mini food fights (ironic for a mf who hates messes huh 😐) he likes to playfully throw shit like a pinch of flour or salt (yes, salt) or like place a bag of sugar on your head while you’re mixing something. he learned his lesson after you pointed a water gun at him ans started shooting him in the face with water (that’s how y’all fucked up the tv with a water fight 🧍🏾‍♀️ we don’t talk about that tho….. (the tv was expensive as hell too btw)

novas brain went stupid and didn’t know what else to add after that

[thebluewritingbench]

Hi! I would love if you could write something for supercorp with “I hope our kid takes after you.”. Thank you!

some v domestic supercorp from the prompt list! (happiness 12 I believe)

"I hope our kid takes after you."

Lena’s not quite sure when Kara’s kitchen became her own.

She knows where every dish is, knows where Kara keeps her spices, her utensils, her canned goods. There are things in the fridge that are hers, crackers in the cupboard that Kara bought because she likes them. It’s possible she knows Kara’s kitchen better than she knows her own, at this point, considers it as much hers as she does Kara’s.

She rarely cooks at her apartment. She tells herself she doesn’t have the time, opting for takeout or frozen meals instead. But it’s become something of a routine to cook at Kara’s, and often several nights a week finds them holed up in Kara’s kitchen, trying new recipes and arguing about vegetables. It was an easy transition from their old routine of weekly restaurant or bar hangouts—just one night where Lena was too tired to go out and Kara suggested this instead of calling off the occasion completely.

Somewhere along the way, it became their new normal.

Lena’s standing at the stove, stirring a pot of lentil curry. It’s one of the only completely vegan dishes that she can convince Kara to eat, so she makes it as often as she can whenever she cooks. Outside, the November wind moans, blowing uneven patters of rain across the windows of Kara’s kitchen. It’s warm and dry inside, though, the air spiced by the stew, the kitchen lights soft and orange. The radio’s on, faintly playing ABBA songs, and Lena hums quietly along as she stirs. At the sink, Kara washes the dishes as Lena dirties them, her hair tied back in a messy bun at the nape of her neck.

The song ends, and the next one begins: Andante, Andante, in its sweet swinging rhythm.

“Oh, I love this song,” Lena says, swaying as she stirs. She abandons the curry when the lyrics begin, still holding the wooden spoon as she spins slowly around the kitchen to the rhythm, holding out her arms as though dancing with an invisible partner.

Kara turns to watch her, grinning and leaning her elbows back on the edge of the sink, and Lena reaches for one of her sud-soaked hands as she passes by. Kara laughs and stumbles after her. She ducks under Lena’s arm in a messy spin and then pulls herself close, her other hand finding Lena’s hip. They waltz around the kitchen, Kara lifting her arm to spin Lena this time as she sings along to the few words of the song she knows, Andante, Andante.

It’s the kind of moment in time that stretches, unhurried and unimportant but sweet like honey. The kind of moment where it feels like there’s nowhere and no one else in the world.

“You’re so perfect,” says Kara, smiling as they sway together. “I hope our kids take after you, some day.”

Lena hums, the swell of joy warm and soft in her chest. Kara’s hand sits comfortable on her hip as the music swells, too, and they sing along and laugh and spin around and around in the warm bubble of their kitchen in a way that feels infinite, in a way that seeps light into every dark corner.

The song ends, and Lena breaks away, dragging her hand away from Kara’s slowly until only their fingertips touch and then break apart, reaching for each other across empty air. She laughs, turning back to her curry. It takes until Kara, doing dishes again, drops a bowl and curses softly for her to register the words properly.

“Kara?” she says, hands freezing on the lid of the rice she’s putting on.

“Mmhm?”

“What was that you said? When we were dancing?”

Kara looks up at her, confused. She seems to struggle to remember for a moment, and then her face brightens. “Oh! I said I hope our kids take after you. You, know, because you’re perfect, and everything. I want them to be just like you. Sweet and smart and fun and kind.”

“Okay,” says Lena. “Right. That’s what I thought you said.”

“Great.” Kara turns back to her dishes.

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t see anything… weird about that statement?”

Kara’s hands pause in the sink, and she looks up, nodding her head slightly as though replaying the words in her mind. Then her eyes go wide.

She says, “Oh my god.”

“Yeah.”

Kara claps a dripping hand to her mouth. “I said… and I haven’t even…”

“Our kids,” Lena says. “Our kids.” She grins, and there’s something in her chest expanding, growing warm and bright and alive. “When were you planning to tell me I knocked you up, Miss Danvers?”

“Shut up,” laughs Kara. “Fuck.”

“One thing, Kara.”

“Yeah?”

“People who want kids together are usually married. Or at least dating.”

“Generally, yes, I think that’s a fair statement.” She’s turned around again to look at Lena, leaning back on the counter with a sweet smile on her face. Lena props her spoon up on the inside of the pot and moves to stand in front of her, her fingers grazing across Kara’s forearms.

“Is that a dream of yours?” she asks. “Having kids with me one day? Something you think about when you’re falling asleep? Growing old and… becoming grandparents and… waking up together every morning, forever?”

And Lena isn’t sure whose late-night fantasy she’s describing, because it’s a dream that’s come to her, too, in the delirious, half-awake moments where she let herself believe it possible.

Kara’s arms drape around her waist, pulling her closer so they’re pressed together, Lena’s hands curled against her chest. “Sometimes,” she whispers.

“I didn’t know you felt that way, darling.”

“Didn’t you, though?” Kara smiles softly. “We do this multiple times a week, you basically live here. Everyone’s half convinced we’re dating already. I’d probably spend every night like this, if I could.”

Lena brushes a hand across her cheek, thinking that she could easily fall into nights like this for the rest of her life, and murmurs, “So would I.” When Kara leans into her palm, she adds, “I’m not sure I’m quite ready for kids yet, though.”

“We could start smaller,” says Kara.

“Yeah? How’s that?”

“I think, usually, before they think about having children together, people start with a kiss.”

“Oh, is that so?” says Lena.

“Yup. That’s step one.”

“A kiss.” Lena studies Kara’s features from an inch away, lets her fingers roam feather soft across them: the set of her blue eyes, the flutter of her fair eyelashes, the divot of a scar beside her eyebrow. She runs her thumb over Kara’s lips. “I think I could manage that.”

They have a penchant for doing things out of order, thinks Lena. Because it’s after they’ve been doing something like dating for years, after she’s learned every nook of Kara’s home and heart like they’re her own, after they’ve discussed having children and growing old together, that they share their first kiss.

Her hands slide into Kara’s hair as she sinks into it, like the final piece of a puzzle piece falling into place, and they kiss to the background track of rain on the windowpanes, the fan on the stove, ABBA still singing in the background.

On the stove, the rice bubbles over, long forgotten.

[sunnyjae]

prompt #48 & #49

DOM!JAY x SUB!FEMREADER consensual somnophilia 😭😭😭😭 IT SOUNDS HOT IDK ABT YOU THO

dom jay + consensual somnophilia sounds really hot wut :(

prompts: #48 "all mine." + #49  “do you not know you’re turning me on or is my raging boner not obvious enough for you”

the way we used to fiddle with our lips ♡ pjs [requested]

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. I put my smut strictly under the smut tags on here to protect you guys so don't open anything with a warning like this one. Please.

pairing  ♡ dom!jay x fem!reader, sub!reader 

genre ♡ smut, fluff, slice-of-life, non-idol!au

warnings ♡ consensual somnophilia, pretty filthy dirty talk, possession kink, begging, teasing, cum eating, breeding, mild bulge kink, brief cockwarming ig, fluffy jay, ‘i love you’s because i'm a whore for those

word count ♡ 2k

summary ♡ jay gets an idea he wants to share with you, and turns out he and you enjoy it more than he expected.

author’s note - dude i don’t know what happened, I went feral over my keyboard in this one

“Hey, love?” Jay pads into the kitchen with a full mug of steaming coffee, watching you mixing some ingredients for pumpkin pie (a recipe you desperately want to try out).

You hum absentmindedly, casting a glance in his direction as he smiles fondly at you. “I’m listening,”

“I was talking to Sunghoon yesterday,” he begins, biting his lip, fuck it he thinks. “He brought up that he and his partner tried out something new in the bedroom and they really enjoyed it.”

Wiping down the counter of any spilled nutmeg, the strong spice tickling your nose, you choke on your spit. “Oh?” you question, thoughts going a mile a minute at what he might have in mind.

The last time the two of you tried something new, ice play, god you barely woke up the next morning. The way your nipples tingled the next day, how Jay ate you out with the ice in you like he was starved (you were concerned whether he’d actually eaten that day, but he assured you that you were his dessert. So yes, he had eaten) and fucked into you possessively as if you’d suddenly disappear. He was never really that expressive with how he was feeling, so at the time, perhaps it was in spirit of the moment (it was sexy as fuck though), he’d made sure to tell you that you were his and he was yours and nothing was going to change that.

Jay's a sweetheart and always asks if anything makes you uncomfortable. He never makes you do anything you don't want (although you're completely open to trying out whatever he's interested in).

You throw the used paper towel into the trash, and turn to face him.

His ears redden a little bit, making you smile and flush with heat. So cute.

“What did you want to try out?” you ask.

He shifts his weight off one foot to the other, hesitating. “Well, it’s kind of a niche? I don’t know, perhaps that’s the wrong word-” he rambles, “But I thought it might be fun and you know, sexy so I was just going to ask-”

“Jay, ” you approach him, cupping his own hands holding his hot mug with your fingers. “You can tell me, I’m open to whatever you want.” You give him a reassuring smile and he clears his throat.

“I want to try fucking you while you sleep.” he finalises. You breathe in sharply, thinking it over.

Thoughts of your significant other fucking into you softly as you’re unaware and completely asleep : when you’re at your most vulnerable.

“I want to make you feel good and I want you to know that you can trust me.” his tone is unreadable and you press a soft kiss to his lips. He continues when you pull away, lips pulled into a smile. “I love you, and I want to love you even when you can’t hear, see or know it.”

You feel yourself swoon, almost letting out an aw at his words.

He adds, “You can do the same for me whenever you want.”

You nod. “You can do that, I completely approve. Yes.” he smiles coyly at you when you move your hand to brush his hair out of his eyes. “You don’t have to ask me every time, either. If you feel like trying it this week at any time, I’m okay with that.”

Jay nods, setting his coffee aside and pulling you into his arms. “God I’m such a sucker for you,” he digs his face into your neck, breathing in the scent of your rose perfume and positively melting into you.

“Was I too blunt?” he mutters into your skin with a peck of his lips.

You press your fingers into his scalp, using one hand to rub his back like he loves. “Not at all,” you tell him softly, and he sighs.

“That’s good, I didn’t want to turn you off.”

You giggle. “I’m sure at this point you’re doing the opposite, love.”

Three days after your conversation and Jay’s still having an internal battle. You said you were fine with it, but he can’t help but worry that he’ll hurt you or it’s not your sort of thing. You on the other hand have started going to sleep earlier, just waiting and waiting for your partner to finally rail you when you’re barely coherent. Just the idea of being so vulnerable with him, how he’d have full control of you and your body, waking up to his cock drilling into you as you whine for him.

But when he walks in on you napping on the bed in just his shirt, the covers half on your body as you’re curled into a ball, your entire ass and pussy exposed to the slightly warm air (from the heater) and in direct eyesight from the door, he swears under his breath with a short “Fuck.”. Jay had just gone to the convenience store to get some dishwasher tablets, trudging through the heavy snow in his Air Forces, not expecting to find the love of his life sleeping so innocently like that and be so perfect for him.

He runs to remove his jacket and shoes, sliding over to the bathroom to wash his hands before heading back to the bedroom.

Crouching down beside the mattress, he slides the duvet off your body softly, not wanting to disturb you too much. Jay’s fingers find their way to your opening, pretty and soft for him, just begging to be touched and filled to the brim. He shudders at the thought of his cum spilling out of it after he fucks you.

Circling his index and middle fingers over your hole, he sighs at the prospect of having you all to himself, spread out like this without a clue what’s going on and enjoying your peaceful sleep. He hopes you’ll enjoy what he has to give you. 

Jay decides that he wants to eat you out and properly taste you, so he leans in to press his face into you, bare. Your skin smells exactly like his shower gel, and that same perfume he loves on you, but your essence is something else he indulges in when he can. When his tongue presses against you, you mewl in your sleep and Jay pushes further in between your folds. He swipes and licks at you softly, wanting to catch every drop of your wetness on his taste buds. Every time he gets the pleasure of eating your pussy, it feels to him like it’s the first time all over again. The way you whine, beg him to finally fuck you, tell him how good it feels and that you want his cum - as much as he loves that, he’s reeling at the fact that you’re lying in front of him asleep with his tongue inside you, not knowing about a thing.

He groans at your taste, parting your lower lips with his fingers and pushes into you with the tip of his tongue. Your breathing is heavier, but you’re still letting out those little puffs he knows are from deep sleep. He closes his eyes at the feeling of you clenching around him, clit throbbing when his lips circle it and suck.

His motions are soft, and he listens to your whines as you sleep, internally grinning and wanting to say the filthiest words to you but of course you won’t be able to hear them. He thinks about how you’d be writhing against the covers, wanting no more than to having him so deep inside you, fucking into you at a pace you could only describe as heavenly.

When he finally replaces his tongue inside you with his long middle finger and massages at that soft gummy-textured spot, you stir awake.

"Oh. Shit, Jay."

“Fuck baby, all mine.” he bites his lip, watching you squirm while his finger sinks in up to the last knuckle.

You nearly let out a sob at the deep ache in your belly, but stay on your side with one leg up. “Wha-”

“Do you not know you’re turning me on, or is my raging boner not obvious enough for you?” he smirks, climbing over you and pulling out his finger. You whine at the emptiness, but realise that he’s palming himself.  “I’m so hard for you right now sweetheart.”

He gives you that charming grin of his, mockingly pouting at his next words.

“You feeling empty, huh, sweetie?” you nod at his teasing question, feeling him smooth his hand over your abdomen, knowing that’s where he’ll be in a few seconds. “Want me to fill you up? All the way?”

“Yeah, yes, p-please Jay.” your lip quivers as your thighs tremble. “All the way - you’ll be so deep,” you add, shuddering.

“God you’re so cute.”he groans at the image of his cock covered in white, drilling in and out of you, already stripping himself free from his t-shirt and boxers. “You’re mine darlin’ - I’m gonna fuck you so deep baby. Gonna have you creaming my cock.”

“Yes, yes! Give me all your cum,” you beg, feeling him spoon you from behind.

“Yeah? You want it? You want all of it?” He mutters, lining himself up with your pussy. Your tightness stretches over his tip and gradually over the rest of him as he pushes in balls deep.

“Fuck Jay, ‘m too full, so full.” you breathe heavy, feeling his hands now wrapping around your lower belly, pressing into the skin there to create more pressure and he hasn’t moved yet.

“Whose pussy is this, baby?” he waits, using one hand to press into your collarbone so you’re fully against him. His fingers part over his cock and over your spread pussylips, feeling himself impaled on you fully. “Tell me who fucks you so full and deep, tell me who makes you feel this fuckin’ good - who makes you this creamy, sweetheart?” he continues, “Whose cum do you carry inside you, love?”

“You, Jay, You...” you pant, “It’s your pussy, only you can fuck me full of cum,”

“That’s right.” he finalises, smirking as he pulls out just to the tip and presses into you again. You squeal at the feeling of him hitting so far inside you, your eyes roll back.

He settles on a slow but deep pace, pressing his hand into the bulge of your stomach and groaning deeply into your neck. “Fuck, baby you’re so tight.”

“Haven’t fucked you enough recently,” he whines when you clench at his words, hitting that spongy spot on your inner walls once, twice, thrice. “Need to make sure you can’t walk when I’m done with you.”

“Please, Jay...” you babble, “Please, please, please can I cum?” at that, his fingers find your pulsing bud and he swears rubbing it with his middle and index again, “Fuck yeah, cum on my cock, sweetie. That’s it. Let go baby.”

And you do just that, grabbing onto his wrist for support as you tremble with a wave of heat spreading from your core to your head, fingertips and toes. You cry out at the feeling and Jay knows he won’t be able to hold on for much longer.

“You want me to cum inside, yeah?” he questions, his tone somewhat serious.

Barely coherent at this point, coming down from your high, you tell him breathily, “Wan’ your cum Jay, please.”

“Shit,” he groans, spewing expletives as he closes his eyes, balls screwing up and releasing his thick seed into you. Jay’s physically thrumming from his orgasm, using one of his hands to stroke your inner thigh, breathing heavily and feeling his cock spurt out some last feeble squirts of the cum you love so much.

You push your fingers in alongside his cock, feeling the creamy ring of your mixed slick on your skin. You feel him twitch and pull you closer and you slide your coated fingers into your mouth. “You taste so good,” you hum, feeling Jay snuggle into your neck.

“I love you, sweetheart. So good for me.” he mumbles, smiling like an idiot while still lethargic.

“I love you,” you whisper.

please i’m still recovering - i thought daddy jay would do something to me but... THIS. Thank you for the request, I’m omw to sex therapy now :)))

also, the title is inspired by a lyric in the song Cassette by Demian:

[flosbelova]

Is That My Jumper?

Florence Pugh x Reader

summary: You and Florence have currently been on long distance since she’s been across the world filming a movie.

warnings: none (?)

word count: 769

pt.2

my gif :)

It’s been a couple months since you’ve seen your girlfriend, Florence. It’s been hard on you both, but you have managed to work it out. Whenever you’re both free, you make sure to set up a FaceTime call with each other. Today was one of those days. 

Your phone rings and it’s Florence, right on time. Although it was nighttime for you, it was daytime for her. 

“Hi baby! How was your day?” Florence asked, brightly. 

Florence had her bee apron on, that you bought for her and she takes it with her whenever she has to go away for filming. 

“Eh, it was okay. Work was fine, and I just got takeout for dinner. I miss your cooking,” you say. 

“Well, I know it’s not the same, BUT what if I cook for you right now? Kinda like your own exclusive cooking with Flo,” she says with a smirk. 

“I’d very much like that, although you’re gonna make me hungry,” you replied. 

“Maybe you should fly over here and I’ll feed you,” she suggests.

“Hmm.. Maybe I could,” you say, already thinking of excuses to tell your boss. 

“Okay anyway, I’m gonna cook you— well actually me— something up real quick. Just a quick recipe,” Florence rambles. 

“Go ahead sweetie,” you say, lying to your side and resting your head on your hand. 

Florence got straight to cooking. She was making one of her simple bean salads. She added her favorite brand of chickpeas, along with her sweet corn. She added in some sliced carrots, and sprinkled a bit of salt and pepper. She then added avocados in the mix, along with her oil. She also added some red pepper flakes, just because she wanted to add some spice to her morning— which made you laugh.

“Aren’t you gonna add in onions and garlic?” you ask.  

“Oh my God, I almost forgot about that! Thank you for reminding me babe— I can’t believe I forgot to add them,” Florence says, wide-eyed. 

“See, you need me,” you say.

“Well…. that’s debatable,” Florence jokes.

“Yeah keep talking like that and I’m not booking my flight,” you respond. 

She raises both her hands in defeat, “Okay, okay, I’m done. I need you sometimes.”

“Okay, I’ll take that,” you laugh. 

She returns the laugh and both of you are just giggling as Florence continues to make her breakfast. 

“Alright, I’m all done,” Florence says, wiping her hands on her apron. 

“You’re gonna be farting all day with all those beans and the mixed in spice,” you chuckle. 

“Ah, it’s okay. I’m off today anyway,” Florence waves her hands. 

You just stare at the screen, admiring her beauty. Even with the small screen, her green eyes were still visible. They were your most favorite features about her, next to her smile, and her nose, and her lips— just her entire being was your favorite. You loved her. 

“Hey,” she snaps her fingers, “what’re you doing?” she asks, raising her eyebrows. 

“I’m looking at you,” you say, all dazed. 

Florence smiles and looks down and shakes her head, “you’re just tired.”

“No, I don’t think so,” you smile. 

“Love, it’s almost like 1am there, you should sleep,” Florence says. 

You yawn, “yeah, I guess you’re right. Gosh, how are you gonna go about your day without me?”

“I’ll be alright, I have my lockscreen to look at,” she responds, smiling. 

“I’m your lockscreen?” you ask, pouting your lips. 

“Of course you are. I need my dose of you, too,” she admits. 

You smile, feeling your heart flutter. 

“Hey wait a minute,” she says, brows furrowed. 

“What?”

“Is that my jumper?” she asks, pointing to your (her) grey hoodie.

“Maybe,” you smile widely. “I like wearing it to sleep. It makes me feel closer to you.”

Florence hides her face in her hands, “Ugh I need you to come here right now! Go to sleep so you can book your flight. I miss you!”

You giggle, “I miss you too, my pretty girl, I’ll book my flight as soon as I wake up tomorrow.”

Florence smiled as you called her you pretty girl. You were never known for pet names, so for you to call her your pretty girl, made her feel pretty special. And let’s face it, she IS your pretty girl. 

“Have a great night’s sleep, my darling,” Florence says, sending air kisses. 

“And you have a great day, my pretty girl,” you respond, catching her kisses. 

Florence smiles softly and scrunches her nose. “I love you baby, I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you so much more, sweetheart. I’ll be there soon.”

[jakeowen]

leak the mushroom recipe plz

oh for sure. thank you for asking, i have always wanted to be a lifestyle/food blogger but unfortunately i have the wrong personality so i guess i'll just through it on tumblr. so my sister really just listed the ingredients for me and trusted i knew how to assemble. i mostly did from watching my mom make them, but i filled in gaps by looking at techniques/steps from this recipe, just to give credit where it's due. basic ingredients:

whole stemmed medium-to-large mushrooms (you can use whatever type you want, i think cremini and white are the best options though. for mine i used white bc that's what they had at ingles and i made about 15 or 16 so all future measurements make that approx serving)

about a half cup of pecans, roughly chopped

a whole bunch of shredded parmesan

a packet of cream cheese

the original recipe called for sausage, i want to say chicken sausage. i substituted lentils which i'll explain below

idk what additional seasonings any other family member used (if any--the sausage tended to lend a lot of flavor) and i treat cooking like jazz so all additional seasonings i used will be detailed in the instructions, but literally do what feels right to you.

preheat the oven to 400, put a baking sheet in it to heat up

pull the stems out of your mushrooms, leaving them hollow. roughly chop the stems, and sauté them in olive oil with 2-3 cloves of garlic until they've cooked down some and the garlic is good and fragrant

add your chopped pecans and any herbs/spices you want. i was trying to recreate some of the flavor i remembered from the chicken sausage so i went with rosemary, tarragon, and oregano, plus a little salt & pep. sauté all this for another minute or two to get a light toast on the pecans. remove from heat

if you use sausage i guess you probably should have started cooking that and done everything else in the sausage grease, but for lentils, here are my guidelines: whenever i substitute something for meat i try to give it a similarly complex and savory/umami flavor to meat. to achieve this, i cooked dry lentils in water with a bay leaf (broth would have been better but i didn't consider it until just this moment, curses. next time i'll def use the roasted vegetable better than bouillon). once the lentils were just about tender i mixed in a little bit of tomato paste, a little bit of mustard, and a healthy dash of smoked paprika to achieve that depth of flavor. i always have dry lentils in the house bc they're so easy but if you wanted to use pre-cooked you definitely could do that too, go nuts!

in a big bowl, combine lentil mixture, sauté mixture, 1/3-1/2 of your parmesan, and all your cream cheese. here i also splashed in a little balsamic because literally why not. adjust seasoning to taste for sure. you don't have to mash this but you do want it to mix thoroughly, i just used a fork and a little elbow grease

take out your baking sheet and put your mushroom caps down on it (you can use cooking spray or olive oil but i just kinda didn't because i didn't care). fill each mushroom hollow with a generous scoop of your filling, sprinkle each with more parmesan, and bake for ~15 minutes until the mushroom caps are tender.

and i gotta tell you, they really do fuck. they do. i was contemplating the idea of possibly adding in some spinach next time for some greenery, so if anybody tries that, let me know how it goes, or i'll update you i guess if i try it. they were served alongside grilled asparagus, mac and cheese, and bbq ribs for the meat-eaters in the family, and everyone was pretty much thrilled with the meal. also if you have leftover filling you can fully just eat it with a spoon and you will want to because, like i said, it fucks.

[erza-haninozuka]

Headcanons for a chubby girlfriend who likes to cook? Pretty please 🥺 I meant for this to be for the Uramichi Oniisan characters. Sorry for being unclear last time😫

That’s okay anon! I appreciate you getting back to me and providing the clarification! ^_^ I hope it’s okay I’m including Utano in this, I had some cute ideas for her to be included and I haven’t had much with her yet. 

Uramichi

To be honest he would enjoy the fact his girlfriend likes to cook. Mainly so he doesn’t have to do it himself.

He’s so used to eating mackerel a lot so when you make him something different his eyes just widen at the taste. His mouth is in literal heaven.

He would find recipes for you to make and leave them on the fridge. 

If he’s out and about picking things up and finds something that would be nice to try he would buy it. 

On occasion if he wants to be close while you’re cooking, he will wrap his arms around you.

He also would eat anything you make him.

Usahara

At first he would be thrown off by you liking to cook.

He’s going to be so touched if you make something for him.

Whatever you do though, do not let him in the kitchen with you. He is a danger to himself and you. Which was learned the hard way after he cut himself and almost burned you.

So whenever you cook he just keeps you company.

He would definitely get you a cute apron too. He just loves seeing you in it. 

The first time you do meal prep for an entire week he asks a dumb question about it. Mainly because he’s never done meal prep himself.

Iketeru

It doesn’t matter what you cook, you can always guarantee he will ask for rice balls. And I cannot be convinced otherwise.

He enjoys watching you cook and enjoying yourself. 

He would attempt to make you something which would most likely end up either burnt or over-spiced so it tastes awful. He is brimming with joy when you tell him it’s good to not hurt his feelings.

However once he realizes himself that it’s awful he immediately and profusely apologizes. He would toss it out in an instant.

From this point he just lets you handle the cooking. If it’s his turn he just buys out.

Kumatani

He loves your cooking so much to the point he would ask you to make lunches for him on occasion.

When he gets his first one he’s a bit sad to not find a note in it. But he does enjoy the effort put into it nonetheless.

He would always compliment it, and if there were areas that needed a bit of improvement he would make those voiced. 

He loves being the taste tester for your experiments.

This man would hands down join you in the kitchen. He loves feeding a taste to you to see how it’s coming along. The way your face would scrunch up if you’re thinking what else to add makes his heart skip a beat.

He would get a book of all your favorite recipes.

Utano

She LOVES your cooking. 

She isn’t much of a cook herself as she knows basics, so don’t ask her on what needs improved. 

She would wife you up in an instant and I cannot be told otherwise. 

There would be nights she’d stay up in an attempt to learn something for you.

You would have a matching apron and oven mitts.

If there is a book or utensil you need, she pays attention to this and surprises you with them. 

[limetameta]

tomione 😇🧟‍♂️🌋🤓😶‍🌫️

''I'm an angel.''

''No, you're a menace to society.''

''No, I'm an angel. A fluffy one. With giant wings.''

''Not even a biblical angel. I've severely downgraded.''

''Fine. I'm a zombie.''

''A zombie?''

''Yes, I was an angel and then I got thrown inside a volcano and emerged as a zombie when it erupted.''

''I'm too tired for this.''

''I'm not being as high as a kite all alone. Stay with me and shut up.''

Silence.

''You should say something stupid now to balance out my stupid words.''

''You said to shut up.''

''Now I'm saying not to.''

''Hiss hiss.''

''Ok. Fine. Be that way. Did you ever play with the kids at the orphanage?''

''Yes, loads of times. We played football and they put me as goalie. Then the'yd try their best to blunt-trauma my head off.''

''I used to play house with some kids in primary school.''

''Really? Were you the mum or the nefariously disobedient daughter?''

''Nah, for some reason they always put me as the spinster aunt.''

''Ha!''

''Don't laugh!''

''Ha ha!''

''Oh piss off! I bet the kids never let you play house!''

''I played on occasion when they didn't have enough people. Or whenever they wanted me to do my Mrs Cole impression.''

Silence.

''I'm surprised anyone actually tried to be friendly with you after you drowned a bunch of kids and killed a rabbit?''

''When I tell you the dirt on all of these orphans I'll come out looking tame in comparison. It was a dog eat dog world.''

''Dumbledore burned down your wardrobe.''

''Yes, strange, innit? If you'd have gone to Billy's wardrobe only the day before you'd have seen some of my items. We were known for driving each other up the wall by hiding each other's things. But did Dumbledore let me explain? Nooo.''

''And the rabbit?''

''It was already dead when I found it, but I hung it on the rafters for dramatic effect. Mrs Cole killed it, she told me when I was eighteen and leaving Wool's for good. She said she hated the 'way the damned thing occupied space.' And that she wanted Billy's mother to send money over for her child instead of buying it useless rabbits.''

''Jesus Christ.''

''Perhaps 25 to 48% percent of how I behave as Lord Voldemort stems in simply mirroring Mrs Cole's mannerisms. The cutthroat, cruel behaviour. All the charm's mine and mine alone.''

Silence.

''Are you sobered up yet, Hermione?''

''Ye.''

''All right, then. I'm tired of paying attention to you. Get yourself sorted and come for dinner. I'm making some magical recipe and it's - it's probably going to be very bad.''

''Just add salt.''

''I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Hermione, but you can't just add salt to food and hope it tastes good. You need spices.''

''And you're a master chef now?''

''More than you ever will be.''

''I am smarter than you are.''

''By a single 0.5 on ONE exam.''

''Smarter.''

[nolareignudaku]

“Most little girls are made from sugar, spice & everything nice. But Nola? Nola was a chaotic mix of crystals, hood, and wish a nigga would, and that shit had me stuck..” - Darnell “Stunna” Jeffries

To say that my parents were prepared for my arrival would be a stretch. Hell, I don’t even think Oshun knew the magnitude my presence would have on the world when I arrived that warm Friday morning in May of ‘92.

I was an only child, born in New Orleans, LA to Haitian-American Giséle Devereaux and Bahamian-Jamaican Leonard Baptiste. We lived a comfortable life, my mother being a pediatric nurse at Tulane Medical Center and my father an entertainment attorney. If I could describe my childhood in one word, it would be diverse. From old nursery rhymes to books about our independence and freedom, my parents made sure that my island heritage was thoroughly ingrained in me. So much so that by the time I was 5 years old, I was fluent in not only English, but French, Spanish, and my family’s regional dialects of Haitian Creole and Jamaican Patois.

It was also because of my heritage that I was extremely charismatic and a natural born hustler. My paternal grandfather would always joke that I could sell water to a fish and charm a rattlesnake out of its rattles.

“It’s the eyes, I tell you!” He would always say. “Them eyes gone get a lot of men in trouble with this one.”

He wasn’t wrong. One bat of these big ole brown eyes, coupled with a smile from my full lips granted me my every desire each and every time. A blessing and a curse if I were to be honest. When I wasn’t dancing Kompa with my mother or in the studio with my father when he met with clients, I was on the corner of our block selling my homemade Nola honey lemonade. It was a neighborhood favorite and I sold out each and every time I made it. Many of the older women in the neighborhood offered to pay me for the recipe, but I never told. It was a mix that I’d come up with myself and I was quite proud of it. I’d like to think that Oshun was fond of it too, as all of my manifestations came to life whenever I left some on her altar.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” my father remarked proudly, listening as I sang along to one of my mother’s favorite Kompa songs. “Her intelligence is mind-blowing. Do you know she made $4,000 this week from her lemonade? At this rate, she’ll be a millionaire before she goes to high school.”

“She’s far ahead in her studies too,” my mother adds with a smile. “Her counselors project her to be in college by the time she’s 13.”

“And if she follows in your footsteps, she’ll have her BSN or MD by the time she’s 21,” my father says with his chest proudly poked out.

“Actually, I don’t think I want to go to medical school,” I said, alerting them that I had been listening to their conversation. “I want to major in the arts: music, theater, painting. Those are the things that fuel my soul.”

“Well whatever you choose, we’ll support you 1000% my little sunflower,” my father smiled.

“Besides, I hate the sight of blood,” I added with finality, earning a hearty laugh from them both.

Only off by 2 years, I received acceptance letters from Harvard, Yale, and MIT on my 14th birthday. The decision was an easy one, as I had fallen in love with MIT’s campus when we toured the previous summer. I chose to major in Theater Arts with a minor in music. Music was a huge part of my life due to my father’s occupation, and I just knew that I was going to be the next Michael Jackson.

“You can study that here, mon chéri,” my mother whined as my father loaded my last suitcase in the trunk. “Why do you have to go so far away?”

“Mommy, I’m only going to be a 3-hour flight away. It takes longer than that to go see granmé in Saint-Marc.”

“Exactly! You’re going to see your granmé, family. I don’t know those colonizers.”

I playfully rolled my eyes at her antics. She had the nerve to call me a brat, yet here she was throwing a tantrum about me going off to college. Before I could offer a rebuttal, my father’s hearty chuckle rang through my eyes.

“Cut the cord, Giséle. The gyal may be young, but she got a good head on her shoulders. She’ll be just fine. Besides, she know what to do in case somebody mess with her, ain’t that right baby?”

I shot him a knowing grin before twirling my necklace between my fingers. Hoodoo was a major practice on both sides of my family and when I was born, my maternal grandmother blessed a talisman and placed it around my neck for protection.

“I know, baba.”

—

The flight was shorter than I initially thought. I arrived in Massachusetts in 2 hours, opting to take an Uber to campus. I was thankful that I was granted a single room for no additional cost, perks of my scholarship. I chose to decorate my dorm like my room at home. Sunflowers and mirrors donned the wall opposite my bed, an homage to my orisha head, Oshun. Under that was my altar and my meditation corner. I picked yellow and gold decorative pillows to match the yellow cloth of the table and added some sandalwood fans to appease my goddess. The wall behind my bed housed my vinyls and various pictures of my parents and grandparents, as well as the Jamaican, Bahamian, & Haitian flags, homage to my island heritage.

“Now this feels like home,” I said proudly, lighting my favorite cinnamon scented incense to relax my growing nerves. Classes began the next day and I was beyond excited to get started. I was already mentally prepared for the side eyes and snarky remarks when people found out my age and what my first name was. But in the back of my mind, I was ready. I was ready to take on the world and show everyone just what the 5’0 pre-teen had to offer.

I started the next morning with a silent prayer and an offering to my goddess. I left her some of my Nola honey lemonade, 5 peel oranges drizzled with cinnamon and honey, and 5 cowrie shells.

“Asé Oshun,” I said silently before snuffing the 5-day candle. I was thankful that I roomed by myself. Explaining my rituals and ancestral practices is something that I didn’t have the energy for, especially to a non-black person.

I intentionally set my alarm for an hour before my first class so that I may take my time to familiarize myself with the campus. I took in the lush greenery, making mental notes of all the places I wanted to sit for a study session before making my way to the auditorium.

My Script Analysis professor went around the room doing the usual ice breaker activities: name, age, hometown, etc. When it was my turn, she offered me a stool to stand on because I was so small compared to everyone else.

“Whose kid is that?” I heard a male voice call out over the quiet auditorium. I simply smiled proudly and began my introduction.

“Bonjour. Je m'appelle Hennessy.”

[hotwings0203]

Hello!!! Soooo I came up with a few headcanons for Muslim Bakugou, JajkjGhoA I can't wait to read your response! 😫🤲💖

Okay! So he is definitely the good husband who does house chores! He actually helps around the house, knows how to do all the chores, and all the other girls are so jealous of you lolll

He will make you the best food! He knows all your favourite dishes, and will spoil you with his cooking! Also he will make your favourite desserts as a form of apology for when he pisses you off or makes you upset

Will feed you when he's trying out new dishes, and when you're getting married during the mehndi, when you feed him laddu or gulab jamun, he will blush so hard but also holds your wrist to "guide" you, as everyone giggles and teases you two for being so flustered and blushy around each other

If you make his favorite dishes?? Like okay imagine you make his fav dish (after asking the bakusquad cuz he's hard to approach lol) and subtly give it to him or maybe get Kirishima to give it to him as you leave the mosque or arrive at some community party or something, homeboi will blush so hard and will not let anyone have even the tiniest bite of your cooking

As a thanks he will buy you churiyan! He will see you admiring them and will come up and awkwardly but gruffly ask you if you like that certain churiyan set (that is like a pretty red and gold) and when you say yes, he will proceed to buy it for you, and omg if the bakusquad see this, Denki and Sero will definitely tease him and be like you should put them on her! While you're like omg! Wait, the adults will see! And he just surprises everyone as he gently grabs your hand and puts them on you and just admires how soft your hands are, and how they fit in his hand, and thinks about how pretty they would look with a wedding ring on them, and you are just standing there blushing so hard, and when he sees you wearing those churiyan at other events he feels so proud and possessive and happy

Weak for your smile and laugh, and very protective of you, will blow someone's head off for making you upset or for disrespecting you. Your parents love him so much, will immediately say yes to the rishta! Also, his parents love you so much, you and Masaru are the calm to Bakugou and Mitsuki raging tempers lmfaoo

You're the only one who gets to see his soft side and soft while without being threatened with death loll lucky youuu~ Also! Everyone will tease him sooooo much for being soft for you, the girls and aunties always giggle when they see how soft he is with you when you guys are out in public and he won't deny it either loll

In public he's kinda reserved with pda, but likes it when you hold his hand or loosely hook your arm around his muscled arms. He will however, put an arm on your lower back to steer you away from an uncomfortable situation or will step in front of you to protect you

In private he will be cuddly, loves wrapping his arms around you, forhead kisses too! You will be a blushing, flustered mess as he leans down by your ear and teases you about it in his low gruff voice. Also just loves the feel of your soft body against his

Also! Omg say its eid or something, and you're getting your mehndi done, the bakusquad will push him to sit with you and help you since you're mehndi is still wet. He will gruffly compliment your mehndi design, will get you food and feed it to you, will softly but hesitantly brush your hair away from your face when he sees that its bugging you, and this will make your both blush, and omg he will have the softest look in this eyes at that moment, and his hand will linger by your pretty earnings, and will just gaze at your lips with a lustful gaze as you softly whisper thank you

When the mehndi dries, and Denki makes a comment about how dark and rich the color is and is like damn Bakugou you really have it bad for y/n huh? Both of you will be so flustered and while Bakugou chases Denki while yelling that hes gonna blow his head off, you just stand there will Mina and Ochako and giggle at his antics, and the girls will tease you about you have gotten Bakugou wrapped around your fingers and that you shouldn't be surprised when his parents approach your parents with a rishta

AunwQniwa anyways Muslim Bakugou will love you so much and cherish you and just RIP to your heart 😫😭💖

YO YES MY GAWD LETS ASSESS THIS MFKIN FOOD YOU JUST GAVE US

okay so 100% YES!! Y’all seen mitsuki? She ain’t havin none of that “I’m the only son so treat me like a king” bs. No no, our girlboss femdom Mistski Auntie has her two boys cookin and cleanin every weekend and massaging her feet, as she SHOULD!

These habits carry on to when he gets married also. His wife could be doing the dishes one day right after their wedding and he would walk by, peeking over her shoulder at her hand-to-sponge technique.

“You’re doing it wrong dumbass. Use the hard side to scrub the crumbs off and then the soft side to polish it.” He snatches the plate from your hands and starts vigorously rubbing it the way you couldn’t. You stare at him, flabbergasted that a mom in the desi community has actually succeeded in raising her son right.

“‘The fuck are you looking at?”

“Nothing,” you quickly say, stepping aside to let him work his magic. He merely grunts and picks up the next bowl.

In a moment of bravado, you lean over to kiss his cheeks. He stops scrubbing and just stares at the sponge in his hands, his face slowly going red as a beet.

When you two fight, you already know he’s gonna be yelling at the top of his lungs and stomping around the house, the explosions from his hands searing the furniture around you.

It’s enough to set you off and storm out of the house too. You need a fucking break, he can be so much to handle sometimes.

It’s around late evening that you come back in the garage from wherever you decide to cool off from. The house is silent and dark from the outside so you assume he fell asleep with the usual scowl on his face.

You sigh and drop your keys and purse on the counter, exhausted from the day’s drama. Form the corner of your eye you see a small candle on the kitchen table alight, and you walk over to put it out.

Except right in front of the candle, there’s a small plate of mithai(sweets) that has a note attached to it.

“Sorry for being an ass” is written in his chicken scratch writing. You smile and shake your head, taking a bite from the surprisingly well-made gulaab jamun.

It’s a good thing Katsuki hid Sato’s recipe in one of the cabinets before you came home.

And just like you said, the man is WHIPPED for your cooking. He’s always pulling you to the kitchen and lightly shoving you around the stove, gruffly telling you to add more spices that he knows you can recreate to a T.

Whenever the Bakusquad comes over to hang out, you try to cook the same way you know Katsuki likes (extra spicy), but for some reason on those exact days you can’t seem to find any of your special ingredients…

At other times maybe before your marriage, when he first began falling in love with you he would see you admiring a vendor’s churiyaan and earrings.

He would quietly walk up behind you maybe a foot or two away, observing how you fit the bangles on your wrist.

“I like the red ones on you,” he says lowly, making sure to dwindle down his usual aggressive tone.

You turn and gently smile at him. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?”

“Because red is what brides wear.”

Your heart beats fast as he takes your wrist, oh so delicate compared to his callous large hands.

“And the silver makes me think of the ring I’ll have on you in no time soon.”

Bakugo closes his eyes in front of you and inhales, letting you know that everything about you draws him closer.

When you guys walk around a college campus or even in town, he’s always looking left and right shiftily, convinced that every man within a mile of you is trying to steal you away. He’ll stand in front of you when a guy asks you where a certain building is, he’ll glare at his friends when they get too rowdy and rough with you, but he still gets nervous for PDA. He knows how fast word travels around in desi communities so he doesn’t want to do anything in public, but fuck when he gets home he’s pinning you on the bed and resting his entire weight on you.

At eid as stated above^^ he’ll see you in your lengha or kurti and get INSANELY nervous and flustered at your beauty. The way you sit poised and laughing with Mina and ochako while your mehndi is being done makes his palms sweat and his armpits prickly. He has to wipe them on his kameez almost three times before taking one last look at you and walking away.

Well, at least he tries to walk away. He’s promptly sought out and grabbed by his three cronies, who drag him by nail and tooth towards you. No amount of swearing and growling threats to ‘blow their ass up so bad people will piecing them back together for weeks” stops them from bringing him closer to you.

“Yeah yeah, you said that already,” Denki smirks and playfully zaps his ass so that he helps and lurches forwards towards you.

The commotion makes the girls look up and wave excitedly when they spot the rowdy men.

You bite your lip and give Bakugo a meek little grin, which makes steam curl from his ears.

“Heyyy ladiesss, got room for one more?” Sero drawls and throws an arm over the simmering grenade of a man.

“Hmm,” Mina mockingly contemplates for a minute before she slowly starts to get up, uraraka following pursuit. “Not at the moment, but maybe we could make some room…” she tackles Bakugo and Kirishima also kicks the back of his knees so that he folds cleanly into the chair next to you.

You look bewildered at everybody while they snicker at Bakugo’s vermillion face.

He glared at them and after an oblivious moment or two they get the hint and wink before backing off.

“So, uh, how long have you been getting your hand done for?”

You grin at his inexperience with these kinds of things, but still indulge him.

“About 25 minutes or so.”

“25 min-“ his eyes grow wide and the whole hall turns to him as he screams at your poor designer for making you ‘sit on her cute ass for such a goddamn long time. And why the hell doesn’t she have food yet??’

At least he thought you were cute

💓💓

[peachiimilquetea]

Heyyyyy! Ummm…I’d like to order a key lime cake with a vanilla base and powdered sugar topping for my bb Iida! Also I don’t know if this counts as a specific thing you can do, but I’m a bigger girl and on the taller side of things (I’m like 5’ 7” and I love food lol🙃) and I was just wondering if you could maybe subtly incorporate that? If not, that’s totally okay! I just thought I’d ask! (Also this is SUCH a cute idea! I love it!🍨😍)

“𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚞𝚙!”

vanilla key lime cake with powdered sugar + tenya iida

a/n: as most of yall know i hc iida as not being able to cook... so this is literally that but as a one shot LMAOOO. the question he asks actually came from a tweet i saw and yk what its definitely a valid concern

length: 554 words

checking the recipe once more, you chopped the assorted herbs and garlic, mixing them into the garlic butter until it came up smooth.

“is there a reason we have to braid the salmon, _____?” tenya asked from the kitchen island, salmon already splayed out and cut three ways for him.

“the recipe says to do it so i'm sure there's a logical explanation somewhere,” you said over your shoulder, chopping up more ingredients for dinner.

since the two of you had both been so busy lately, iida insisted that you carve out time for each other with an impromptu date night. he had absolutely no idea what to do, but with a quick google search, you both settled on cooking together.

unfortunately, tenya was a notoriously bad cook, earning the reputation back in high school when he made macaroni and cheese without the water and set off the fire alarms in the dorms. because of this, he agreed to do most of the prep work, while you tackled the heavy lifting, hence the braided salmon.

“it just seems counterintuitive is all. will the fish cook evenly this way? what about the garlic butter spread? and then how would we go about eating it? it just-”

“iida?” you stopped him, smiling, “please just braid the salmon for me, ok?”

you went back to your chopping board and finished everything up while iida braided the fish and chopped potatoes. he may not have been a trustworthy cook, but he was good at prep work and you appreciated his attention to detail whenever he helped chop up ingredients.

“what's left for us to do?” you asked, adding things to your pan. knowing there was nothing left on the recipe sheet, he ignored you, big hands finding purchase on your hips as he came up behind you to watch you cook.

you continued to cook some pasta sauce, paying iida no mind as he nuzzled into the back of your neck and held you close, “would you like to try?” you asked.

holding his hand on top of yours, you lightly stirred the sauce, telling him when to add more ingredients and when to add certain spices. his grip stayed on you the entire time, never wanting to stray from your guidance.

eventually, you were able to leave him to watch the sauce alone, checking on the salmon and potatoes in the oven. his face of immense concentration was adorable, even as the steam from the pan fogged up his glasses.

“you did a really good job, ten. no fire alarms this time!” you joked, taking the spoon from his hands and lowering the stove fire. all that was left to do was serve everything.

you didn't admit it out loud, but tenya’s concerns about cutting the salmon were partially valid, regardless of how gorgeous it looked when it came out of the oven. you plated the food up and sat down at the kitchen island with him. holding out your fork to feed him a piece of your meal, you watched as a smile spread across his face at how good everything was.

“the salmon actually came out very nice,” he teased, giving you a kiss on the forehead.

you hummed, leaning into his embrace, “i guess we make a great team in the kitchen after all.”

[radiorenjun]

kitchen frolics || lee jeno

➶ pairing: lee jeno x reader

➶ genre: fluff, crack, romance, twitch streamer!au, (slight)YouTuber!au, non idol!au, college!au, established relationship

➶ word count: 14.8k

➶ synopsis: you and your boyfriend, Jeno, decided to do a Christmas cooking live stream on twitch with no cooking experience whatsoever. It's safe to say you two were just two loud, idiotic simps obnoxiously trying to cook with 6k people tells you say to do.

➶ warnings: swearing, angst if you squint, absolute clownery, jeno being a funny boyfriend, inaccurate recipe I found online, y/n accidentally inhaled yeast?

“Babe!” Jeno shouted, adjusting the camera in front of him before checking his phone for the time. “I’m coming! I’m coming hold up! You can start without me for a bit!” you exclaimed from the bathroom, finishing the final touches of your makeup. 

“Alright then!” he responded, opening the live stream on his twitch account. Typing ‘Kitchen Frolics’ as the name of the live stream before pressing the spacebar to start the live with a click of his tongue. He waited and started staring at the screen as he watched the view count increase on the screen in a matter of a few seconds.

He let out a charming smile as the chat started flooding with greetings and calls of his name in caps lock or a large amount of emojis. “Hey everyone!” He greeted, leaning back and away from the camera so that his viewers could see his whole form as he clapped his hands together enthusiastically. 

“It’s lovely to see you all on this lovely day!” he grinned, rubbing his hands together before pausing for a small moment to replay his words. “Fuck, did I just say ‘lovely’ twice?” he laughed lightly to himself.

Jeno leaned his arm on the counter beside the laptop, taking a moment to make sure he was still in the camera’s view before leaning his head down to read the comments flooding through the chat box. “‘Jeno, you look so tall’,” he read, squinting his eyes to read the small text on the corner of his screen. 

“Oh, well thank you. I’m on my journey of being taller than Jisung,” he joked, looking around bashfully to cover up how flustered he felt at reading the comment. He examined the clean kitchen counter and adjusted the camera he set up so it can record his hands mixing like in those Tasty cooking videos on youtube.

“Anyways, not many of you know this. But I am an extremely talented cook. I’m a professional chef! Like, my cooking skill is at a professional level, okay? Gordon Ramsay complimented on my cooking skills multiple times in my dms, the man practically looks up to me,” Jeno said in an exaggerated tone, picking up an opened can of coke and pulling it to his lips. “So, me and y/n were bored and we decided to do a live stream today,” Jeno clears his throat, putting the can down on the counter behind him.

“So today, we’re going to cook! Using the finest ingredients and the finest cooking utensils that I could gather from my kitchen,” Jeno then grabbed a large wooden spoon behind him, waving it from the camera with a proud expression on his face. He chuckled when his eyes scanned the chat for a moment, people commenting random emojis and sarcastic replies rapidly filling the chat box. “What? You guys don’t believe me? The audacity!” Jeno placed a hand on his heart, pouting like a wounded puppy.

“Stop being so dramatic. Quite frankly, even I don’t believe you.” You snickered, walking into the kitchen as you tied the white apron around your waist. “Hello to everyone in the chat!” you waved at the camera eagerly, watching as people spam the chat box with your name. “You’re so mean. You know very well my cooking expertise is very much immaculate,” Jeno whined, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pressed his body to your side, jutting his bottom lip.

You chuckled, rolling your eyes as you pushed your boyfriend’s face away with your palm. “You’re such a crybaby. No PDA in the livestream, you simp.” You laughed, pinching both of his cheeks as he glared at you, brows furrowed cutely. “Whatever,” Jeno rolled his eyes at you, retracting his arms from your waist to look back at the camera, attempting to conceal the blush on the tips of his ears and cheeks when his eyes darted to the chat box on his laptop screen which was practically filled with people gushing how cute you two were. 

“Anyways, what are we doing today my love?” You asked, as if he hadn’t told you this a couple hours before you started the live stream. You leaned your elbow against his shoulder, letting your arm limp over his chest casually as you stared at the camera with a wide smile. “We’re cooking today, Y/n!” Jeno smiled at the camera, placing his arm back around your waist. “And what are we cooking exactly, Jen?” you asked again, not tearing your eyes away from the camera lense.

“Since it’s going to be Christmas very soon, I decided that we should cook something that could fit the occasion,” Jeno exclaimed, watching as people spammed the chat box with guesses of food relating to the holiday. “Which is?” you mused, stretching out the vowels to tease your viewers a bit. You watched as the view count increased with every passing minute. “Pizza!” He cheered, giving the camera enthusiastic jazz hands, ignoring how his words made you furrow your brows, feeling equally as confused as the viewers.

“Wait what? I thought we were making those chocolate balls on tik tok?” you furrowed your brows pulling away from your boyfriend to glare at him with a perplexed expression. “Yeah, we were. But then, I realise we got to add some spice to this live stream and some originality,” Jeno grinned mischievously, causing you to pucker your lips in disappointment. “But, how is pizza even related to Christmas?” you asked once again. “Because I said so,” your boyfriend stuck his tongue out teasingly.

You let out a dramatic sigh, looking down at your cat slippers before letting out loud sniffles to show how distraught you were over the sudden change of plans. “Aw, man. I was hoping to make some hot chocolate. Can I get an F in the chat for the chocolate balls we’ve never had?” you exclaimed dramatically, putting a hand on your chest and raising the other as if you were making some sort of pledge as you looked at the chat box, watching as it blew up with a bunch of Fs.

“Thank you, everyone,” you wiped an invisible tear from your cheek, ignoring your boyfriend who rolled his eyes at your dramatic actions. “Shut up, babe. Anyways, before we waste any time, let’s get started!” Jeno rubbed his hands together, picking up a piece of paper in his hands which was a hand written recipe he probably found online. “I got the recipe from some random website, I’ll send the link to the recipe in the discord chat after the stream if you guys want,” he said, showing you the recipe in his hands.

“Well, this is going to get really messy. Are you sure Jaemin won’t mind us trashing the kitchen?” you asked, looking up at him with a raised brow. Jaemin was Jeno’s roommate who was an excellent cook. You couldn’t even count how many times he would kick you out of the kitchen to prevent you from eating any snacks whenever he was cooking something. Therefore, he definitely wouldn’t hesitate to ban the two of you from the kitchen if you make a huge mess.

“Oh come on, Jaemin is in his room editing his latest video. Even if we do manage to make a huge mess, we should be able to clean up before he finishes. What’s the worst thing that could happen, really?” Jeno chuckled, shrugging simply. 

“YANGYANGsImp has donated $4! Says ‘Famous last words’” the speech bot said monotonously. 

You let out a loud laugh, clapping your hands. “We’ll see, then” Jeno huffed, putting his hands on his hips. “Now, how do we get started on the pizza dough?” he asked, leaning over you to look at the laptop screen. You furrowed your brows once again, turning your head to your boyfriend to give him a deadpan expression. “We have instructions! Why are you asking them?” you asked with a laugh, causing Jeno to snicker.

“Listen, I only have the recipe written down. Not the whole ass instructions, I’m too lazy to do that.” Jeno waved it off, eyeing the chat carefully to see if anyone has given you information. “This isn’t a handwritten essay, Jeno. We have a printer,” you chuckled. “Hush, y/n,” he puts a finger to your lips, silencing you in an instant which makes you sigh heavily. “Okay, so. It says here that we need to boil some water,” he read, getting a large cup from the dispenser. 

“I love how you didn’t hesitate to fill up a random cup with water just because someone told you to,” you snickered, looking at the camera with a hand on your hip before going back to read the comments in the chat. “Are you sure that’s even remotely correct?” you asked, turning to see Jeno coming towards you with a jug of warm water in his hands. “Beats me. Y/n, come help me pour the water to this huge ass cup,” Jeno ordered, earning a nod from you as you pulled out a large cup from the cupboard and watched as Jeno poured some water into it.

Jeno was a little bit clumsy so it was safe to say he spilled more than ‘a little’ water. 

“Shit! It got on the fucking notes!” your boyfriend cursed, pulling away to put the jug back in the sink, ignoring your laughs as you waved your hand in front of the slightly wet paper in an attempt to dry it. “How did that even happen?” you giggled, blowing on the piece of paper as the chat started calling Jeno ‘an adorable klutz’. “Ah, shit.” Jeno wiped his hands against the fabric of his sweatpants. “They say it’s supposed to be two cups. That’s about the size of two cups right?” he asked, rolling the sleeves of his hoodie up his arms.

“I don’t know. Suddenly I’m Jared,19.” you joked, earning a soft flick to your forehead. “Dumbass. Jared 19 can’t read, not count.” he snickered, picking up the notes from your hand, cringing at the feeling of the wet paper in between his fingers. “Okay so, it says here that we should add a tablespoon of sugar.” he read aloud, pointing at the paper to show you and then proceeding to show the camera his notes. 

“I didn’t know pizza had sugar in it,” you mumbled, walking over to the drawers to find the measuring tools. “I guess we learn something new everyday,” Jeno shrugged, watching you bring over some measuring spoons and lay them on the counter in front of the camera. “Wait, so which is which?” you asked, picking up the measuring spoons that were stuck together. “A tablespoon is for eating right? Just pick the one you usually use to eat,” Jeno shrugged, looking through the chat box.

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten with such spherical spoons before, Jeno,” you commented with a small giggle. Jeno sighed, grabbing the measuring tools from your grasp to examine them himself. “This just proves my point even more. I have immaculate cooking skills, indeed,” he boasted, pulling out what seems to be the biggest measuring tool you had given him. You furrowed your brows at this, “wait, are you sure that’s a tablespoon?” you asked.

“Well it has a number one in the middle here,” Jeno pointed at the inner part of the measuring tool, showing you the small number printed on the plastic. “That seems like a lot for a table spoon,” you mumbled watching as Jeno shook the powdery substance into the measuring tool. “I didn’t know pizza had this much sugar,” you added on. “You didn’t know pizza had sugar to begin with, y/n,” Jeno deadpanned, walking over to the cup of warm water.

Before he could pour it, your eyes wandered to the screen of your laptop only to widen your eyes at the amount of people telling you to stop. “Wait, Jeno. Why are they saying stop?” you exclaim, putting a hand on his arm to halt him from doing anything else. Jeno let out a noise of confusion, turning his head to the screen as well as he furrowed his brows to read the small text. “Wait, what’s going on? What did we do wrong? Why is everybody telling us to stop?” Jeno asked, eyes scanning the chat room to see if anyone was pointing out what you were doing wrong.

“Listen, you guys aren’t the one risking your lives sneaking into Jaemin’s territory here okay? You’re not the one putting your lives on the line just to cook a pizza,” Jeno huffed, waving a wooden spoon at the camera with a pouting frown on his lips as you scanned through the chat box. “This is a very futile attempt of being the next Gordon Ramsay,” Jeno laughed, turning his head at you.

Then it hits you like a truck.

“Jeno! I swear we’re absolute fucking morons. That is not a tablespoon,” you let out a loud laugh, taking the other measuring spoons into your hands as Jeno let out a small ‘oh’, laughing along with you. “Wait a sec, is this a cup?” he exclaimed, finally realising his mistake as he examined the measuring tool which he had now placed on the counter in front of you. “Oh shit, it is a cup! Whoopsie! Our bad! Our bad!” you laughed, showing him an actual tablespoon which was about 4 times smaller than the cup. You both started laughing at your own stupidity, putting a tablespoon of sugar into the warm water.

“Wait, let’s add a little more,” you grinned, picking up an eighth of a tablespoon of sugar and dunking it in with no hesitation. “Babe, no don’t-” Jeno wasn’t able to stop you before dumping the sugar into the water. “We’re going to have really sweet pizza, huh?” he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he let out a soft laugh. 

“Sweet like you,” you winked, causing your boyfriend to roll his eyes at you. “What did you say about the no PDA on live streams, again?” Jeno’s lips quirked up into a small smirk before shaking his head profusely at you. “Alright dumbass, let’s just keep going with this.” you both snickered at each other before stirring the sugar until it dissolves. 

“Okay, what’s next-” Jeno clicked his tongue, leaning to the screen of your laptop before you decided to cut him off. “Jeno.” you called out, seeming lost in thought. “Yeah?” he hummed, turning to you for a split second before scanning his eyes through the chat box. “Babe, have you washed your hands?” you asked in a rather hesitant voice, turning to him slowly and eerily. Jeno opened his mouth to respond before furrowing his brows in thought as if to say ‘did I?’

He let out a loud dramatic gasp before turning to the sink. “Shit, right! Oh fuck, I’m sorry!” he rambled in a panicked tone, eliciting another laugh from you as you watch him frantically wash his hands. The chat box was soon filled with Jeno’s name in caps lock, either laughing or clowning at him for saying how he was ‘a professional chef’ but he still forgot to wash his hands. “Oh my god, so all this time you’ve been touching these ingredients with your filthy hands,” you wheezed, hitting the counter as you laughed. “And to think that this global pandemic was actually going to teach us the importance of washing our hands,” you laughed even harder. 

“Sorry, sorry! I’m sorry. My hands are squeaky clean now! I swear I have not contaminated the water with my hands!” Jeno laughs, wiping his hands against the fabric of his black hoodie, pushing his glasses up to his nose before showing his slightly wet hand. “I assure you, Jeno’s restaurant is cleaner than my reputation!” Jeno puts his hands together as an apology, staring at the camera with his puppy dog eyes. “Great hygiene comes with great pizza,” you snickered, earning a death glare from the taller boy standing beside you, his lips forming an angry pout. 

“Watch me get cancelled for forgetting to wash my hands,” Jeno puts his hand on his hip, chuckling at you. “Rest in peace your reputation, then. May covid-19 graciously carry you to the afterlife,” you waved him off without batting an eye, laughing hard after a few seconds of silence. “Go away,” Jeno snorted, pushing you out of the camera view gently as you both giggled. 

“Jeno, we just started and you can already see how terrible this is going,” you commented with a soft snort. Jeno let out a light laugh of his own as he walked away to grab the yeast from the cabinet. “I think this wouldn’t be so bad if my girlfriend was actually helping!” he retorted, closing the door with an accusatory finger at you. “Hey, I’m actually helping!” you exclaimed with wide eyes before looking at the ingredient list he wrote. “Look! Two tablespoons of yeast! I’m definitely helping. Right, chat?” you turned to the camera with a proud grin, only to be faced with a bunch of ‘no’s or ‘whatever you say, y/n.’

“I love how they’re agreeing with me,” he snickered, pointing at the laptop screen. “Lovethe90s has donated $2! Says ‘y/n, we love you but so far, you’ve just been laughing at Jeno’,” the speech bot said, causing Jeno to laugh even more as he watched your jaw drop to the floor. “I love how none of you are taking my side. This is clearly favoritism,” you commented with a sad nod before feeling Jeno wrap an arm around your waist lovingly. 

“It’s okay, boo. You’re still my girlfriend, no matter how unhelpful you are.” Jeno giggled, nuzzling his head against yours as you frowned at the camera. “That’s good to know,” you mumbled before smacking him on the chest and pushing him off of you. “Anyways, where were we?” Jeno rolled his eyes at you, opening the packet of yeast in his hands. “So two tablespoons of this?” he asked, looking up at you for confirmation. 

“That’s what your ingredient list says,” you shrugged, showing him the now crumpled paper. He furrowed his brows, adjusting his glasses before shrugging. “Two tablespoons of yeast it is, then,” he chuckled, handing you the yeast and watching you scoop out the powdery substance into the large cup. You coughed, scrunching your face before turning away from the camera. “Oh fuck, I think I accidentally inhaled it,” you groaned, ignoring your laughing boyfriend as you went out of the camera view to grab yourself a glass of water.

“You okay, babe?” Jeno called out, turning his head to look at you with slight concern. You coughed, feeling the sting up your nose as you walked back into the camera with teary eyes, groaning as Jeno continued to laugh at your suffering. “Next is… Mixing!” Jeno exclaimed, ignoring how you continued your coughing fit behind him. “Babe, can you hand me something to mix?” he turned to you, watching you glare at him with the most angriest look you could muster. 

“Fine,” you croaked, opening the drawer in front of you before taking out a wooden spatula and handing it to him. “Thank you!” he squeaked, grabbing the spatula from you oh-so-casually before stirring the mixture in the cup. “Now, we’re going to mix all this up until it’s thoroughly combined and incorporated,” Jeno exclaimed as you finally walked over to him, watching as your silly boyfriend continued to stir the yeast with (supposedly Jaemin’s favourite) wooden spatula.

“Just a word of warning, we’re definitely going to get banned from the kitchen if Jaemin ever decides to come out of his room at the time of this live stream,” you commented casually, leaning your elbow on his shoulder and leaning your head against him as you watched the chat box erupt with laughs and internet slangs. Jeno gulped, nodding with a nervous chuckle. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. I’m being Gordon Ramsay Junior here, y/n. Can’t you be more supportive for your loving boyfriend?” he pouted.

“I would if you didn’t laugh at my misery all the damn time,” you shot back, your free hand reaching out to pinch his cheeks gingerly. He huffed, rolling his eyes at you as he shook your hand away. “You know I still love you,” you grinned, turning your head so you can stare deeply into his dark eyes. He paused his stirring, mirroring your actions as he turned his head to gaze into your eyes and your lips. “Yes, yes I do,” he nodded, pressing a small kiss on your nose before pulling the spatula out of the cup. 

“When Nicki Minaj said ‘yes, I do the cooking. Yes, I do the cleaning,’ I swear this isn’t what you think,” Jeno mumbled under his breath, causing you to let out a laugh. “Stop! Oh my god, we’re never going to finish this,” you wheezed, moving the cup away to let the yeast sit for a bit. “Wait, let me pour the sugar back into the container, you can rest for a bit,” you snickered, grabbing the container filled with sugar and the previous cup you used.

“Okay, don’t spill anything, love!” Jeno cooed, leaning against the counter and sipping his can of coke as he continued reading the comments with the occasional speech bot speaking whenever someone donated or subscribed to your stream. “‘Can you add pineapple on pizza?’” he read aloud, furrowing his brows in concern before looking at the camera. “Not to shit on your taste in pizzas, but what the fuck?” he cocked his head to the side to look at you slowly pouring sugar from the cup into the small opening of the container. 

“I’m seriously concerned, right now,” you joked, closing the container once you got the sugar back in. “Great, now. We just need a bowl to mix our dough in,” you said, opening the dish racks to see if there were any clean bowls left. Jeno and Jaemin were two broke college students, just like you, so it didn’t surprise you much if you found that all the bowls were either still in the dishwasher or hidden somewhere in their rooms as they usually spent hours on their desks playing games while eating ramen on days end.

“Jeno, do you have any bowls left?” you asked, looking up at the male. “All there’s left here is a strainer. Also, why do you have a strainer?” you furrowed your brows in confusion, making Jeno click his tongue in thought. He opened his mouth to respond before closing it shut. “I’ll ask Jaemin if there’s any bowls left,” he mumbled, eliciting another light hearted laugh from you as he walked out of the camera to call out Jaemin’s name. 

“HasbeenTaeil has donated $6.46! Says ‘You two are so adorable my single ass can’t- Love you both! Stay safe!’

You look up at the camera with a bashful smile. “Aw, thanks. You guys are cute too!” you exclaimed, spreading your arms open to give your fans (the camera) a hug. “Thank you all for the donations, by the way. We are always so grateful to everyone who subscribed and donated, you guys are seriously the best!” you smiled widely, watching as the viewer count increased to 6k. “I can’t believe 6 thousand people are watching Jeno and I attempt to make a pizza from scratch,” you commented with a proud grin.

“Okay so I asked Jaemin,” Jeno came back, adjusting the sleeves of his hoodie as he walked into the camera’s view. “And he said he doesn’t know either,” he grinned nervously, causing you to roll your eyes. “Oh my god, how are we going to make the dough without getting things messy now?” you groaned, scanning through the kitchen to find an alternative. 

“I’m sure we’ll figure something out. Right, chat-”

“Wait a minute-never mind!” your bo.yfriend laughed, pulling out a bowl behind the camera on the counter. “It was behind the camera all along, shit!” he wheezed, taking a step back to take in how idiotic the two of you are. “Damn, we really need to check our eyes,” you snickered, rubbing your temples as you suppressed the urge to facepalm. “This just shows how perfect we are for each other,” you added, earning a cough from Jeno.

As soon as you said that, the chat box was instantly filled with people commenting on how much of a simp you are. The worst part was that most of them were in caps lock, which made things even more hilarious. “Awe, y/n really be simping for me on a live stream. Someone play ‘Feel Special’ by Twice,” Jeno cooed, giving you a smug expression before earning a smack on the back from you. “Shut up! You’re a simp for me as well!” smacking him lightly with each word as he let out a small chuckle.

“I can’t deny that,” Jeno winked. You gaped at how bold your boyfriend was being. “You did not just ruin the fantasies of the people who wrote fanfiction about you!” you laughed, watching as the chat box erupted with comments of people saying how much you were whipped for each other. “Wattpad territory was terrifying. I swear, if you search my name up on that specific website. Most of them are like 18+. And I don’t know how I feel about that,” Jeno shook his head with a joking smile, bringing the flour to the counter.

“Oh come on. You were basically fangirling when we did that stream of reading fanfictions about each other,” you smirked at him, nudging his side softly as he opened the packet of flour. “That’s because it was about you and me! Despite how angsty it was, it was still very much intriguing. Plus, they basically gave me ideas on what to do on our next date, it’s a win-win situation!” Jeno retorted with an incredulous laugh.

“And that ladies and gentlemen, is the evidence I need to prove that our Jeno here, read fanfictions about me! A.K.A his precious girlfriend, let’s give him a round of applause!” you clapped your hands while shaking your head, watching as Jeno glared at you with a raised brow, his eyes darting at the chat box who were still calling him out for being a major simp. “This is misleading information, I should sue you,” Jeno said rather monotonously. But you all knew he was just joking.

“You can’t sue the person you simp for, Jeno-”

“Winderellaprincess has donated $3! Says ‘is this a cooking show or a battle of two simps? I mean- I’m not complaining’”

“Oh shit!” you both cursed in unison. “I totally forgot we were cooking, oh fuck!” you laughed, clapping your hands. “We really are simps,” Jeno teased, making the two of you laugh even more. “Go away!” you mused as you picked up the handwritten paper Jeno wrote. “Okay, so, your paper says that we need three cups of flour,” you read aloud, tossing the paper back on the counter. “Three cups?” Jeno asked, picking up the cup you both previously used for the sugar.

“A half of the packet looks like three cups to me-” 

“Jeno, no, I still want to be able to walk into this kitchen without Jaemin whacking my head with a pan,” you shook your head, grabbing the packet from him and leaning it to the side. “Fine, I’ll just hold the cup,” Jeno giggled as you both continued to use the measuring cup to pour in the flour into the bowl. “Oh fuck! Shit, sorry!” you laughed after spilling a bit of flour onto the counter and some onto the floor. You both wheezed as you took a few steps back to compose yourselves.

“I fucking swear, we’re never cooking together ever again,” you shook your head, standing weakly as you tried to stop laughing. 

“Kwangyaman has donated $2! Says ‘now I see why Jaemin doesn’t allow ya’ll to step foot into the kitchen’” 

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” you wiped a tear from your eye as you tried to keep yourself from laughing too hard. “My stomach hurts from laughing,” Jeno scrunches his face cutely, showing his crescent moon-shaped eyes as he continues to laugh. “I told you we should just dump half of the packet in!” he exclaimed, dropping the packet of flour on the counter carelessly as he examined the mess you made. “Oh god, Jaemin’s going to fucking kill us!”

“itsjunrenhuang has donated $4.99! Says ‘we stan Gordon Ramsay’s walmart children’”

“We appreciate the compliment,” you snorted, waving your hand off as you tried to dust off the flour to the floor, inevitably covering your slippers in the process. “It’s the genes,” Jeno added with a soft laugh. “Shawn Mendes once said ‘it isn’t in my blood’ and Jeno clearly ignored him,” you teased, looking back at the handwritten paper on the counter. “I swear, if this doesn’t taste good. I’m just going to buy a personal chef,” you muttered under your breath, wiping the flour on your apron.

“You’re talking as if you could afford one,” Jeno shot back, earning a small huff from you. “Just so you all know, thank you so much for donating. We’ll read through all the donations after the live stream. The donations will be spent on this magnificent restaurant!” he exclaimed with his hands on his hips, moving to read the comments. “Alright, mister. Let’s get back to cooking before our real personal chef gets out of his natural habitat,” you patted Jeno’s shoulder, leaning over to look at the recipe with him. 

“‘Three quarters of a tablespoon of salt’,” he read before reaching up to open the cupboard to find some salt. “I swear, we still have some salt leftover,” he mumbled, causing your eyes to go wide at his statement. “Imagine if you ran out though?” you mused, raising a brow as you turned to face the camera. “Shut up, I found it,” Jeno pulled the container half filled with salt from the cupboard and  twisted the lid open with a small grunt before handing the container to you. 

“Okay, three quarters of a tablespoon-” you stuck your tongue out in concentration as you dipped the tablespoon in and eyeballed it. “That’s about three quarters, right?” you showed your boyfriend the spoon who narrowed his eyes at it before nodding simply. “Yeah, I think so.” he nodded at you, giving you a soft shrug as you frowned. “By the way if you guys are wondering what salt we’re using. It’s the uh-” you turned the container of salt in your hands and furrowed your brows to read the label.

“You’re saying that as if they don’t have salt at home,” Jeno snickered. “Really shows how much you love salty foods,” he poked your cheek as you let out a frustrated huff. “Hey, at least I have some spice in my life!” you retorted with a shuddering laugh, raising the container of salt as if you were aiming to hit him. “Anyways we’re using Kosher salt,” you grinned at the camera, showing the salt container as if it wasn’t a famous local brand.

“moonhannah just donated $5! Says ‘who let these adorable babies in the kitchen? This is all so chaotic’”

You and Jeno looked up at the camera at this, brows furrowed as you stared back at the camera with offended expressions. “We’re grown adults!” you both whined in unison before turning back to the dough without a second thought. “Hey chat, do you guys think we should add more flour? This doesn’t look enough,” you asked, putting the bowl under the camera on the counter, making sure that your viewers could see it.

“Again, you should’ve listened to me and added half of the packet,” Jeno huffed, waddling over to you with the packet of flour in his hands. “But doesn’t half seem a bit too much?” your eyebrows quirked up slightly at him. “Once again, we need originality and creativity, love.” Jeno shrugged, finishing his coke before tossing it to the trash can and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before putting a bit more flour into the bowl.

“Hakuna Matata,” you chuckled, earning a loud yell from your boyfriend. “Stop! We’re going to get fucking copyrighted!” Jeno laughed, picking up the wooden spatula on the counter to wave it in front of your face. “A sexy lawsuit from Disney,” you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly as Jeno choked on his own spit. “Why am I dating you again?” he coughed, stifling a laugh.

“Next!” you exclaimed, peering your eyes at the paper on the counter once again. “Virgin oil,” you read aloud before turning to Jeno who was opening a new can of coke from the fridge. “Excuse me, what?” Jeno coughed, adjusting to the tingly sparks on his tongue as he drank. “Virgin oil,” you repeated with the same casual tone before Jeno furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“Do we even have that?” Jeno mumbled to himself. 

“Jeno, this is your kitchen! How do you not know?” you said incredulously, putting a hand on your hip and your other hand on the counter. He coughed, giving you an innocent eye smile before opening cabinets to see if he actually does have some virgin oil stored somewhere. “Shut up, Jaemin is usually the only one who actually does the grocery shopping around here. I don’t know shit about the kitchen!” Jeno laughed, ignoring the speech bot’s monotonous voice as people started flooding the chat box with how chaotic this was.

“Gordon Ramsay genes, huh?” you mused with a smirk on your lips. “Shut up, I found it, dumbass,” he stuck his tongue out childishly at you before grabbing the tablespoon you were using previously. “Okay, so three tablespoons of virgin oil?” he asked, turning his head at the paper in your hands, receiving a silent nod from you. “You better not poke me or anything unless you want a very oily pizza, y/n,” he chuckled, twisting the bottle open as he spoke.

You scoffed incredulously. “Wouldn’t think of it,” you said in a sardonic tone as you watched Jeno carefully pour in about three tablespoons of oil. “Now, we add the yeast right?” you asked, picking up the cup that has been sitting on the side for a while, sniffing it before cringing and holding back a gag. “Oh god, that fucking stinks,” you croaked, breathing from your mouth as you try to get the smell out of your mind.

“Why did you smell it?” Jeno chuckled, taking the jug away from you as you coughed. “Curiosity killed the cat, Jeno,” you stated as you came up to see that Jeno had formed a hollow space in the middle of the bowl with the flour and poured the oil in the middle to make it seem like some sort of small puddle. “So, do we like- mix it first or add the yeast first then mix it?” you asked with a cock of your eyebrow.

“I think we add the yeast first,” Jeno said in a more questioning tone than a statement. “Are you sure?” you asked, turning to your boyfriend who scratched his head in confusion. “Nope, that’s why you’re going to do it,” he handed you back the jug with a cheeky grin, putting his hands in his pockets as if you were going to shove it back to him. You raised your brows in surprise, “me? Why me?” you exclaimed with an incredulous laugh.

“Because, I’ve been doing this myself. It’s your turn now,” he grinned, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. You glared at him intensely, mumbling small incoherent swears under your breath as you started to pour the yeast little by little, cringing at the foul smell. “So we just start mixing, just like that?” you asked as you put the cup back down on the corner of the counter. Jeno hummed in confirmation, opening the fridge to fetch out three cookies.

He shoved one into his mouth before handing you the spatula he used for mixing the yeast earlier. “Just mix it all up until it's fully incorporated,” Jeno nodded, putting a cookie in front of your mouth as an offering. You furrowed your brows, leaning back to examine the cookie in his hands before biting down with a small ‘nom!’. 

“Does this count as vegan pizza?” you asked, looking up at Jeno before you scraped the sides of the bowl to get more flour into the mixture. “Huh?” Jeno responded with a perplexed expression. “What do you mean?” he asked. “The yeast. It’s like tofu-based yeast, I think,” you cocked your head to the side to gesture at the packaging. “But, we’re going to put cheese and pepperoni on the pizza. Does it still make it vegan?” Jeno mused, a light chuckle eliciting from his lips. 

You paused, clicking your tongue before waving it off. 

“Moving on!” 

“Compared to those cooking videos on youtube and instagram, I think it’s safe to say we suck at this,” you said as you began mixing the ingredients together with the spatula he gave you, trying to chew in between your words. “What are you talking about? It doesn’t look that bad. Plus, we’re barely halfway through the damn process, don’t judge a book by it’s cover, y/n.” he huffed, pointing at the dough that has started to form.

“Jeno, I’ve seen too many Tasty youtube videos. I know what a good pizza dough looks like,” you paused your mixing to look at him and give him a disbelief scoff. Jeno rolled his eyes at this before pushing his last cookie into your mouth. “Excuse you, I’m the chef here. We are streaming from my account, therefore, you have no place to say if it’s bad or not because you simply haven’t tried it yet!” Jeno huffed, pinching your nose gingerly as he scrunched his nose cutely at you.

You sighed, chewing the cookie in your mouth anyway as you continued mixing till a small dough started to form. “But this doesn’t look right, Jeno,” you informed, moving the bowl closer to your boyfriend and using the spatula to prove your point. From what you two have seen on youtube, pizza dough was supposed to be stretchy and sticky like those pizza makers who flips the pizza in the air with their hands oh-so-majestically. 

However, compared to those videos, your dough was more like a literal embodiment of your lives. The dough was hard and rigid like hard cookie dough. It was tearing apart like dried play doh with every turn of your spatula and the dough appeared to be way smaller than the humongous amount of flour you added previously. Which was a big problem.  

“Fnafenthusiast has donated $2! Says ‘the dough looks dry asf, are you sure that’s not play doh?’” 

Jeno glanced up at the laptop screen at this, furrowing his brows at the statement. “Hold your horses there, buddy. This is not play doh! I assure you, it just needs a bit more mixing. At least I think-” he scrunches his nose with crossed arms, causing you to raise a brow at him. “You ‘think’, huh?” you raised a brow at him, shaking your head as you proceeded to mix the dough, cringing internally at how the dough kept breaking apart.

“Jeno, I’m not kidding. The dough looks more broken than my old Nintendo DS,” you commented, causing Jeno to click his tongue in thought. “Maybe you just need to mix it even more? I mean, we’ve been following the recipe,” Jeno scratched the back of his neck as he held the bowl and leaned it closer to him. “The recipe filled with only ingredients and no other instructions whatsoever, you mean?” you said sarcastically.

“Hey, listen. I was writing an essay that night as well, my wrists were about to snap off if I wrote down the whole recipe-” Jeno was soon cut off when you quickly dipped your fingers into the opened packet of flour and smeared it across his face and hoodie. “Hey!” he exclaimed, wiping the powdery substance off of his cheeks with a frown on his face. 

“Shut up,” you grinned before Jeno swiped his fingers against the counter which was still partially covered with flour and pinched your cheek eagerly. “I hate you so much,” he stated with a soft chuckle, his previously taken aback expression morphing into one filled with love and adoration. “Of course you do,” you nodded before looking at the camera while wiping the flour off of your cheeks, unaware that some of it was still staining your cheeks.

“Itsoraanchhey just donated $4! Says ‘snort the flour’” the speechbot said monotonously.

You laughed, shaking your head. “Yeah, definitely not doing that,” you looked down at the dough, mushing it around with the spatula. “This is a family friendly live stream, okay. No snorting here!” Jeno laughed, tutting as he waved his index finger at the audience. “Don’t do drugs kids!” you both exclaimed in unison, giving the camera enthusiastic jazz hands. “Or it’s jail time!” you added before snickering to yourselves.

“Where are we even going with this?” Jeno snorted.

“Time to knead the dough!” you exclaimed eagerly. To be honest you were waiting for this part since he told you that you were making pizza instead of chocolate balls. “Alright then. I’m going to go wash my hands again,” Jeno nodded, smacking his hands together as he walked towards the sink, letting you divide the dough in half with your wooden cooking utensil. “I’m sure this is enough, right?” you looked up at the camera with a nervous yet hopeful smile.

“c-sanshone just donated $5.66! Says ‘no’” the speech bot said, causing you to frown involuntarily. 

“You guys really should learn to be supportive of other people’s goals. The point here is to have fun and to chat with all you lovely people,” you huffed, putting your hands on your hips sassily in an attempt to scold your viewers. “I thought the point of all this was so that we could eat something that isn’t frozen pre-made food,” Jeno jokes, waving his wet hands at you, causing water droplets to hit your cheeks at the rapid movement. 

“That too,” you nodded with a small hum. 

“Okay but let’s get these out of the way, first,” you started picking up the measuring cups lying around the counter and putting them back in their place as Jeno helps put back the leftover ingredients into the cabinets. “We should never open a restaurant,” you concluded, looking at the evenly divided dough that was barely holding itself together. “As much as it pains me to say, I agree,” Jeno nodded with a heavy sigh.

“Gordon Ramsey, we’ll make you proud someday,” Jeno cried dramatically, scrunching his face as he let out a fake sob, wiping invisible tears off of his cheeks. “Gordon Ramsay went ham on Mark’s cooking show, do you think he’ll give us mercy if we tweet out the current conditions of our dough?” you asked, kissing your teeth as you recalled the iconic tweet Gordon Ramsay himself made when he reacted to your friend cooking a sunny side up egg for the first time in his life. 

“Xiaojun was holding a fire extinguisher. I’m sure he would be proud of us for making it this far without fucking it up too much,” he shrugged, examining the mess of state your kitchen was in. “Oh bless the lord, hope we don’t end up burning the house or breaking the oven,” you groaned to yourself, rubbing your forehead in distress before a sudden realisation washed over you.

“Jeno,” you called out with wide eyes. “Yeah?” Jeno replied shortly, scrolling through the crowded chat box on the laptop screen. “Have we preheated the oven?” you asked, slowly turning your head towards him to increase suspense. Jeno’s eyes went wide for a second and you swore you could hear Renjun singing ‘wae naneun neoreul mannaseo!” and Taeil singing ‘apado gwaenchana’ flamboyantly in the background. 

“Fuck, I forgot!” Jeno exclaimed, watching you rush to the oven to adjust the settings. “I’m sorry!” he laughed, watching you fiddle with the settings before turning it on to preheat the oven. “Fuck,” you groaned, suppressing the urge to bang your head against the kitchen counter as your boyfriend continued to laugh behind you. 

“Wait, how much was it again?” you asked, looking back at your boyfriend who quickly grabbed the piece of paper and squinted his eyes at it. “430 frames per secon- I mean, fahrenheit!” Jeno squeaked, coughing at his small mistake, causing you to chuckle. “Jeno this isn’t an animation video, also 430 frames is a lot,” you pressed the button to turn on the oven before smacking your hands together with a heavy sigh.

“I need a vacation after this whole video,” you grumbled as you stomped back over to the front of the camera.

“Too bad, love. It’s covid season, you’re not escaping me anytime soon,” he planted a loud wet smooch on your cheek, pulling you close against his side for a brief second before letting you go as if nothing had happened. “Let’s stop this tomfoolery and get back to work, shall we?” Jeno smiled with a clap of his hands, picking up the packet of flour you used earlier and dipping his fingers in to sprinkle some of it onto the kitchen counter.

“Salt bae, indeed,” you snickered, making Jeno pinch his fingers together in an attempt to mimic the said meme, eliciting small giggles from the both of you. “Oh my god, Jaemin’s going to fucking kill us,” he laughed, realising that he should’ve sprinkle on the cutting board displayed right in front of you instead of the counter. “At least we managed to have fun,” you waved it off casually, ignoring how panicked you actually were on the inside.

“Goodbye, midnight ramen. You will be missed,” Jeno patted his chest sadly, clutching the fabric as if he was the main character in a play with a tragic backstory. 

“Kainoticedme just donated $7! Says ‘the motto of this whole stream should be Sometimes It’s Okay To Give Up’” 

“Hey! What do you mean ‘give up’?” you retorted with a scoff, putting your hands on your hips. “No one’s giving up anything today, okay?” you exclaimed with a firm shake of your head. “What a pep talk,” Jeno clapped his hands unceremoniously as he stared at the camera with a deadpan expression. “Insert that meme of Lady Gaga saying a bunch of synonyms of ‘amazing’, please!” Jeno clapped his hands harder before taking a step back to dodge your soft smacks.

“Shut up!” you laughed, retracting your hand as your boyfriend dodged your hits before watching Jeno come up with the bowl filled with dough. A proud smile stretching across his lips as he rhythmically taps his fingers against the plastic bowl. “Okay, check this out!” he exclaimed, flipping the bowl over with no hesitation before shaking it when the dough wasn’t coming out. “Stop, Jeno, that’s not a macaron batter. Babe, it’s gonna-”

The dough flopped on the counter not-so-graciously when it finally pulled away from the bowl, making the flour go everywhere: on your clothes, faces and everywhere else on the counter. “Lee Jeno!” you exclaimed, your mouth gaping open as you patted your shirt to dust the flour away. “Y/N L/N!” he mimicked your tone teasingly with a boyish grin, wiping the flour off of his cheek before smearing it even more on your clothes.

“Stop! I didn’t bring a change of clothes!” you whined, swatting his hand away with a laugh. “Oh calm down, you drama queen. You can use my clothes after this,” he rolled his eyes at you, putting the bowl aside on the counter as you continued to complain and whine about how you’re never going to forgive him for ruining your favourite shirt. “You’re the drama queen!” you shot back with a finger pointing directly at him. “Why did you have to do that?” you exclaimed with a whine.

“Originality and creativity, love,” Jeno shrugged, collecting the dough and playing with the mixture innocently as if he hadn’t made a mess of the kitchen and your clothes for laughs. “I hate you,” you mumbled under your breath, taking a few steps back to dodge his upcoming kisses when he turned his body to face you. “Aw man, I wanted to kiss your floury face,” he pouted, causing your heart to skip a beat at his words.

“Later,” you rolled your eyes at him, letting him off the hook for being an idiot. An adorable idiot. 

Wait no, YOUR adorable idiot.

“Okay let’s do some teamwork and knead the dough together!” Jeno exclaimed, pulling you alongside him in front of the camera before kneading the dough closest to him. “Why is this harder than it looks?” you snorted as you began to slowly massage the dough with your palms. “Shh!” Jeno shushed, his lips puckering as he made soft shushing noises. “Let the dough do it’s work, all you have to do is knead it to perfection,” he spoke softly.

“I highly doubt that,” Jeno added almost inaudibly, making you chuckle at your boyfriend. “I love how you’re just exaggerating and blowing things up out of proportion,” he commented, turning to look at you. You glanced up at him with a small hum, cocking your head to the side in confusion which made Jeno’s stomach do somersaults. “Originality and creativity, babe,” you quoted, giggling slightly.

“Please, Rie McClenny would be screaming in pain if she ever finds this video,” Jeno rolled his eyes before leaning close to the mic above the camera to whisper against it. “Tasty please sponsor me, I swear I won’t burn down the whole kitchen,” he whispered loudly, eliciting laughs from your audience. “Tasty, we’re open for sponsors or collabs!” you joined in on his little joke, tossing the dough up in the air before letting it flop down on the counter, inevitably making a larger mess.

“Hey! You’re copying me!” Jeno whined, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “How quaint,” you replied in a bittersweet tone, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw before focusing on kneading the dough again. “That’s it.” Jeno stopped kneading his dough to cross his arms against his chest with a small pout on his lips. “I’m terminating our friendship!” he huffed, looking away from you childishly, trying not to crack up at his pathetic attempts to act cute.

“So? Do you prefer us to be lovers instead?” you mused, wiggling your eyebrows instead before laughing hard when you saw your boyfriend letting out a loud groan. “God, you’re annoying,” he laughed, slinging an arm around your waist to give you a small side hug before pulling away to continue punching the life out of his dough. 

“Nimoncross has donated $10! Says ‘the amount of tik tok and meme references in this live stream is astronomical’”

“Couldn’t agree more,” you both sighed heavily. “Why is the dough sticking onto the counter?” you chuckled nervously, looking up at your boyfriend who was dealing with the same problem himself. “Just knead it a bit more? At least that’s what Jaemin said when we ran through the recipe,” Jeno scratched the back of his head in confusion, not acknowledging how he got flour on his hair again until you began to dust it off for him.

“Remember that video of Rie Mclenny cooking a pizza with zero waste?” you asked, turning to your boyfriend as you two began poking holes into the dough. “Not really, why?” he shook his head at you. “I remember her dough was super stretchy and squishy. Also her dough bounces back if you poke it, while ours… don’t. There’s something definitely wrong with our dough,” you laughed, wiping your hands against your white apron.

“Okay, that’s probably because we’re using a whole different recipe than hers,” Jeno shrugged carelessly as he continued to fiddle with the dough on the counter.

“Okay, but all jokes aside, it’s actually sticking to the counter. Jaemin’s going to fucking kill us,” Jeno stated with a light hearted laugh, pulling the dough back to bunch it up in his palms only for some of it to stick to the counter and tear apart. “Oh god, we’re never going to be allowed in this kitchen ever again,” you complained with a small whine, grabbing the bowl you set aside and putting your doughs back in.

“I think it’s best we leave those be till we decide what to do with them,” Jeno said, turning to wash his hands in the sink with you right behind him. “Leeteukspeaks has donated $8! Says ‘add more flour, oml. We’ve been telling you this for the past fifteen minutes!’” the speech bot said, attracting your attention back to the camera as you walked back to the counter. “Add more flour?” you asked, looking at the sticky doughs in the bowl with an unsure expression. 

“If I remember correctly, it’s supposed to be like that, we just gotta let it rest,” Jeno said, cracking his knuckles as he spoke. “Chill out, chat. We know what we’re doing. My restaurant is a five star restaurant, just trust the process,” Jeno assured the audience who just continued to spam the chat box with a series of ‘no’s and ‘you guys are idiots, listen to us!’.

“Though, we got to leave it to rest for a whole hour. So,” he reached over to the other side of the counter where another bowl was wrapped with a sheet of plastic wrap over it and plopping it down in front of the camera. “We prepared another bowl that’s already been sitting for the past hour,” he grinned, causing you to furrow your brows and dilate your pupils at the bowl in his hands.

‘Where the fuck did that bowl come from?’ you thought to yourself but you didn’t want to think of it too much. The sooner you get this done, the sooner you can log off and sleep. “If you guys saw my instagram story and my snapchat, you guys would’ve seen this coming,” Jeno grinned, shaking the bowl in his hand. “So this is what you were doing while I was writing my essay?” you asked with a chuckle, fidgeting with the plastic wrapper around the corners of the bowl.

Jeno hummed in response, giving you a cute eye smile as he lets you pull the plastic wrap away from the bowl. “Though it seems like the yeast didn’t rise,” you stated, poking a finger on the dough to see if it will bounce back. “This live stream is a very shitty version of a cooking mama game,” you mumbled under your breath which made Jeno laugh. “Babe, hush, you want to get this over with right?” he asked with a smug expression, putting his hand in the bowl to poke it as well.

“danishyi has donated $4! Says ‘Gordon Ramsay would not be proud right now’”

“What are you talking about? Gordon Ramsay is loving this. In fact, I showed him the dough earlier on twitter and he said it was way better than his! Right y/n?” Jeno nudged you with an amused voice, making you give him a deadpan expression, scrunching your nose in fake disgust as you slowly nodded to please your boyfriend. “Whatever you say, babe,” you agreed, going along with his joke.

“Alright, let’s get the dough out-”

“Wait, at least let me sprinkle more flour first, Jeno!” you halted him midway from scooping out the dough to quickly fetch the flour packet and sprinkle in some flour on the counter, inevitably making an even more larger mess in the kitchen. “Right, shit, sorry,” he giggled before putting the dough on the counter and using a knife to divide the dough in half.

“Damn, this is really oily.” you stated, starting to fold the dough over itself and ignoring the weird feeling that comes with touching the oily surface. “No shit, we added virgin oil, babe,” Jeno snickered with a shake of his head, following your actions with his own dough. “Did Jaemin help you with this?” you asked, looking up at him for a brief moment before starting to knead and massage your dough.

“Nope, he refused to help. He had some hope that I won’t burn down the kitchen if I do it myself,” he shook his head, flipping the dough upside down before pressing holes with his fingers. “That’s unfortunate, wait until he finds out you trashed the kitchen instead,” you chuckled, earning a soft glare from the boy beside you. “Hey, at least I didn’t burn it down like he hoped, give me a break.” He sighed exasperatedly.

“Wait so what are you going to do with the other dough that we made? You can’t possibly throw it out, right? That thing’s our new baby now,” you joked, pointing a finger at the bowl filled with the dough you made earlier. Jeno turned his head at the bowl before looking down at the camera with a boyish smile, “so you actually want to start a family with me?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you before earning a soft push from you. 

“You dumbass, be serious!” you groaned, suppressing a smile as you felt your heart skip a beat at the mention of starting a family with Jeno. “I can’t be Sirius, I’m Jeno,” Jeno said with a smug expression before letting out a squeal and running out of the camera view when he saw you lift your dough up in your palm threateningly as if you were going to throw it at him like a frisbee. 

“I knew it was a mistake to watch Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban today,” you snorted, putting your dough down as Jeno walked back towards you with loud giggles. “I swear we’re never going to get this done,” you groaned, putting your elbows on the flour-covered counter, ignoring how the white powder clung onto the fabric of your shirt as you groaned, suppressing the need to bang your head against the wall.

“Look at the bright side, baby. At least you’re spending quality time with your precious boyfriend, right everyone?” his eyes lit up as he stared back at the camera, receiving enthusiastic responses of agreements from the chat box and the speech bot. “Bright side, huh?” you chuckled, standing up straight to stretch your back as you continued kneading your dough. “I think that’s enough kneading!” you ignored your pouting boyfriend to take a step back and admire your work, putting your hands on your hips proudly as if you just found the key to ending World Hunger.

“So do we combine our doughs together and shape the dough or what?” you asked, hearing Jeno hum in thought. “How about you knead our dough together and I’ll find the toppings we need for our pizza?” he suggested, causing you to frown. He gave you an innocent grin, pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead before giving you his usual puppy eyes, the one you couldn’t say no to, which caused you to frown even deeper.

You groaned, sighing deeply and dramatically before nodding. “You’re lucky I love you too much,” you mumbled under your breath, pressing a small kiss on his cheek gingerly before coming up to the counter to mix both of your doughs together. “Hey, I made this dough all by myself, you don’t get to complain shit!” he laughed, running off to ask Jaemin where he usually puts the other ingredients. “We could’ve had a higher rate of success if we’d just stuck to making chocolate balls!” you yelled, using all of your remaining strength to knead the dough.

You didn’t know if Jeno ignored you or didn’t hear you because he didn’t respond back as he jogged to his roommate’s room. But you clicked your tongue and proceeded to flatten the dough out and make somewhat of a circular shape and folded over the dough for a thick crust, pinching your fingers to make the dough stick to itself as you spread it out. “Okay, so this looks more like a pizza now, right?” you asked, looking up at the camera.

“Now we’re just going to flat the dough out evenly, just like that!” you exclaimed, smacking the dough with your hand before looking at the laptop screen, watching as your audience continued to spill in jokes and words in caps lock in the chat. You purse your lips before continuing on shaping the pizza as Jeno then finally walked back into the kitchen and began opening the fridge and the cabins, pulling out some marinara sauce and some cheese.

“Seriously, that’s it?” you asked, raising your brows at the containers in his hands. “Yeah, basically. What? You want to add pineapples on it or something?” he raised his brow at you as the corners of his lips quirked up into a teasing smile. “Ew, no, stop,” you fake gagged at him, causing Jeno to giggle as he popped the lid of the marinara sauce open with his hands. 

“Watch as Gordon Ramsay knocks on that door just to call us an idiot sandwich,” you snickered pointing at the door with a flour covered finger, making Jeno laugh, shaking his head at your nonsense. “Excuse you, if anything he’s going to praise us for making this delicious cuisine,” Jeno hesitated on the last part of his sentence when he took a look at your kitchen. “Are you sure this is cuisine? This radiates the same vibe as Hyuck eating ramen without cooking it,” you cringed internally.

“Floofybunbun has donated $3! Says ‘USE A ROLLING PIN, NOT YOUR HANDS!’”

Your heads shot up at this before exchanging confused glances. “A rolling pin?” you both asked in unison. “Do you even have a rolling pin here?” you asked as you and Jeno glanced around and started opening drawers and cupboards to search for one. “I don’t think so. Then, again, we’re broke college students I’m surprised we even have fucking mozzarella cheese in this place,” Jeno picked up the small container of shredded mozzarella before dropping it down carelessly on the counter.

“Okay, we gotta improvise then,” you huffed, looking around for any object that could be used to roll out your dough before you spotted Jaemin’s reusable starbucks cup. “This!” you exclaimed, rushing to take it in your hands and showing it to the camera. “I know, this isn’t a rolling pin, guys. But it could be if you just imagine it,” you grinned, ignoring Jeno’s gaping expression as he felt his skin run cold. “Do you have a death wish?” Jeno laughed nervously.

“Jaemin’s going to make us wish we were never born if anything happens to his favourite cup,” Jeno picked the cup from your hands and keeping it away from your reach by stretching his arm above his head when you attempted to snatch it back. “Come on, Jeno. Life is boring without a little danger,” you teased, stepping on your tippy toes to reach his arm but failing to no avail.

“Just use that pringles container,” Jeno cocked his head to the direction of his collection of snacks on the counter right below the cupboard out of the camera’s view. You glanced at the treat before raising your brow. “Wouldn’t the dough stick to the paper-ish surface?” you asked with a raised brow, making Jeno sigh in defeat. “Fuck, right,” he handed you back the cup, letting you roll the dough out evenly with the cup. 

“Jaemin’s going to get so mad,” you laughed, humming a merry tune as you thinned out the dough, staining the cup with flour with every roll of your hands. “No shit,” Jeno huffed, leaning his head down in distress as he let out a loud chuckle.

“Itsokayman has donated $10! Says ‘the fact that you aren’t using a rolling pin physically hurts me”

“Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Everyone here watching the chat can relate to you, right now,” you and Jeno chuckled, stretching a hand to gesture at the camera. “That includes us, as well,” Jeno added with a tight-lipped smile, widening his eyes dramatically. “Wrap it up, Mike Wazoski,” you twisted your index finger in horizontal motions, laughing at your own joke.

“You did not just disrespect my man, Mike like that-” 

“Anyways!” you cut him off abruptly, ignoring the pout he gave you afterwards. “The dough is falling apart but fuck it, it’s been thirty minutes since the live started and as much as I love talking to you guys I’m hungry,” you smiled, putting your hands on your hips once again with Jeno laughing behind you. “How straight forward,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his chin against your shoulder, leaning his head against yours and nuzzling against your hair.

“Honesty is the best policy, babe,” you pressed a butterfly kiss on his nose before getting back to forming the crust with your fingers, Jeno still clinging to your back like an adorable koala as he watched you with loving eyes. 

“Tenshi-chanxx has donated $6! Says ‘stop ignoring us and listen! We’re trying to help you, the dough is literally falling apart. We won’t know what’s going to happen to your little play doh if you put it in the fucking oven!’”

You both looked up at his, eyes blowing wide before sharing the same flabbergasted expressions before turning to the camera and shaking your heads. “No,” you both said monotonously in unison before going back to your dough and laughing it out. “We’re just here to have some fun,” you shrugged at the camera with a casual expression. “Even if we end up going to our own funerals after this,” Jeno added with a harsh gulp.

“Okay, so now. We’re going to add this little baby,” you outstretched your arm to reach the marinara sauce, showing it to the camera and turning your head to look at your boyfriend with a small smile. “Can you open this please?” you asked in the most kindest tone you could muster, internally wincing at how cringey you sounded. He laughed at your pathetic attempts to use a sweet tone but nods nonetheless, releasing his tight grasp on your waist to open the jar of sauce with a small ‘pop’.

“Here you go,” he handed you back the jar before leaning his hands on the counter, not taking his eyes off of you. “Now, you’re gonna wanna put it like it’s mayo,” Jeno explained, pointing at the pizza dough as you grabbed two clean spoons from one of the drawers and handing it to him. “That’s a terrible reference,” you snickered, scooping a spoonful of the sauce and dumping it on the dough, tapping it against it to make sure all the sauce slips down.

“Shut up, baby, I’m doing an explanation here. Like those animal documentaries in Nat Geo Wild,” Jeno chuckles, scooping a spoonful of sauce himself and mirroring your actions, spreading it all over the pizza with a click of his tongue. “You got to make sure to spread it nice and evenly to get more flavor,” Jeno stuck his tongue out in the corners of his mouth in concentration as you two spread the sauce all around the dough.

You couldn’t hold in your laugh as he continued to do those monotone voices wildlife documentary narrators often use on TV. “I’m sorry but this looks like something out of an accident,” you laughed, pointing at the messy pizza on the counter. “It actually does. Oh shit, it actually fucking does,” Jeno puts a hand to his mouth to conceal his shock as he howled out laughing. “This was a whole mess,” you put your spoon back in the sink with a wheeze.

“Please, just cut the cameras already,” you clutched your stomach as it was starting to hurt from laughing too much. “The show must go on, y/n! Get a hold of yourself, my love!” Jeno said dramatically, grabbing some water to clear his throat as he continued to laugh with you. “We should be cast in a new ratatouille movie,” you snorted, wiping an invisible tear. “Or a new bee movie,” Jeno added with a soft chortle, handing you his own spoon.

“Disney, hit us up!” you gave the camera a dramatic finger gun, causing Jeno to double over laughing. “We’re open for sponsors, Disney! Emails and shit will be down in the description box below!” you gave them an awkward smile and jazz hands to add more flavor to your grand advertisement. “Yeah, don’t do that again. At this point, we’re never going to get sponsored by Disney nor Gordon Ramsey,” Jeno pressed a soft kiss to the corners of your lips, making you pout at his words.

“It’s a hard knock life,” you sang under your breath.

“For us,” he finished. 

“Anyways! Why do we keep saying ‘anyways’?” you both couldn’t stop laughing the more you see your failure of a pizza. “You all know chefs make mistakes from time to time right? So we- more specifically, I came up with a back up plan. A plan B basically,” he marched unceremoniously to the fridge, opening the freezer and poking his head in. “Jeno don’t tell me you have another secret batch in there. We don’t have enough friends to poison if these doughs don’t turn out good,” you teased, turning on the tap and running your hands under the water to wash off any dough left in between your fingers.

Jeno then pulled out his supposed ‘plan B’ which turns out to be a box of frozen pizza he bought from the supermarket the other day. “Classic pepperoni pizza,” you read the label aloud with a soft giggle. “I don’t think that’s going to compare to the exquisite meal we made here, Jeno,” you gestured to the sloppy deformed pizza on your counter, which made Jeno snort. “Facts,” he agreed with a soft chuckle. 

“I knew this pizza would come in handy. Now let’s compare this to our own pizza here,” he grinned, opening the pizza box and pulling the plastic wrapped food out of the box, setting it down beside your own pizza. The frozen pizza in comparison was making your homemade pizza feel like a shrivelled old 6000 year old snail and you didn’t know whether to cry or laugh about it.

“Out of context, if we ever decide to join a Master Chef competition. No guaranteed, with this lovely pizza of ours? We’re going to be the next Gordon Ramsay and rule the goddamn world,” you almost choked on your own spit as you laughed, Jeno shaking his head at you with a wide smile on his face. “I live for your sarcasm,” he reached over to pinch your cheeks gingerly, cooing softly at you.

“Come on, compared to our pizza. You can tell which one is better,” you said in a proud tone as if you weren’t on the brink of crying out of embarrassment now. Watching Jeno rip the plastic packaging open and pulling out the pizza, you couldn’t help but make more sardonic jokes about your own creation, amusing your audience as those who donated expressed their thoughts over the speech bot.

“Since we don’t have pepperoni in this house, we’re just going to borrow some from this pizza right here,” Jeno pulls out some chopsticks from God knows where and started picking up a few pepperonis from the frozen pizza, placing them right on top of the marinara sauce spread sloppily on your pizza dough. “Jeno I- you know you could just use other alternatives than just straight up stealing pepperonis from the frozen one?” you said incredulously with a slight laugh 

“We’re professionals, y/n. If we don’t have a certain ingredient, we improvise,” he grinned cheekily, making you roll your eyes. “You could add the leftover sausages from the fridge and yet you decide to steal the pepperoni, real professional, Jeno,” you nodded with crossed arms as Jeno neatly arranged the pepperonis on your pizza. “Also why are you making the pepperonis stand up on the dough?” you asked, pointing at the vertical pepperonis piling up on the dough.

“Originality and creativity,” he stated without hesitation. 

“Just so you know, neither of these pizzas are safe for human consumption,” you stated, pointing to the two pizzas on the counter. “Oh yeah, definitely. That’s the exact reason why I chose this for today’s Christmas cooking livestream,” Jeno nodded in agreement, giving you a small thumbs up before giving a small clap. “But honestly, what is safe for human consumption in this world?” he asked with a questioning look, waving his hand to the side as he furrowed his brows and gave the camera a ‘duh’ look.

“Cheese!” you exclaimed eagerly out of random, putting your hands on the counter with an excited smile. Jeno furrowed his brows at you. “Aren’t some people lactose intolerant?” he asked, receiving a deadpan expression from you . “No, you idiot. I meant, it’s time to pour the cheese!” you snatched the small container filled with shredded mozzarella behind him and waved it in front of the camera.

“Right. I forgot, I knew the pizza was missing something,” Jeno puts his palm against his forehead, shaking his head in disappointment as he lets out small chuckles. “How could you forget the star of the show?” your eyes grew wide at him, putting your hand on your chest as you looked at him in an almost offended expression. “Honestly, Jeno, I expected better from you,” you shook your head, making small ‘tsk’ sounds under your breath.

Jeno rolled his eyes, flicking your forehead gently before giving you a sweet smile. “Whatever, just pour as much cheese as you want so we can quickly pop these in the oven,” Jeno giggled, watching you rub the slightly sore spot on your forehead as you gave him a threatening glare. “I hate you,” you opened the container with a huff, putting your fingers in before generously sprinkling the cheese all over the pizza.

“I love how the chat box exploded with the word ‘cheese’,” you snickered, pointing at the laptop screen. “Jaemin and his lactose intolerant ass is probably crying right now,” Jeno added, nodding in amusement as he dipped his hand in the container to sprinkle more cheese himself. “That is, if he’s watching,” you chuckled, looking up at your boyfriend’s handsome face. “I pray to God he isn’t,” he added with a nervous laugh. 

The oven then made a loud ‘beep’ to signal that it’s already preheated, causing you and Jeno to cheer loudly as your audience prays for the safety of Jeno and Jaemin’s apartment. “Oh, yay! Finally!” you cheered, walking over to open one of the cabins to pull out a long tray for your pizzas. “Okay, so we finally get to the interesting part of this whole live stream!” you exclaimed, placing the tray carefully in front of the pizza. “Not really,” you added quickly. 

“Anyways, which pizza shall we try first?” you asked, pointing at the two uncooked pizzas on the kitchen counter. “Our baby or the store bought one?” you asked, pointing at the two pizzas to emphasize on your words. “Why not both?” Jeno asked with a raised brow, handing you a glass of water out of nowhere. “Drink water, kids !” he gave an enthusiastic thumbs up at the camera as you casually took the glass from him and gulped it down without hesitation. 

“Alright then, both!” you agreed with a nod, placing your small pizza dough carefully on the tray, watching as bits of shredded cheese fell off of the corners of your pizza. “Fuck, the floor is literallt a mess right now,” Jeno chuckled, taking a step back to examine the state of your floor, internally noting to himself how much of struggle it’ll be to clean all this up later. “Just like our pizza right here,” you smiled awkwardly at the camera as you struck a pose with your sloppy pizza on the tray. 

“Brookestoresle has donated $7! Says ‘SPRAY THE DAMN PAN!’”

“Spray the pan?” you repeated in a questioning tone, a perplexed expression glossing over both of your features. “What do you mean ‘spray the pan’? What is it for?” Jeno asked, looking through the comments to see if anyone could elaborate on that. “Do we spray it with Windex or something? What are we supposed to spray it with, exactly?” you said, half jokingly. “Definitely,” Jeno nodded, laughing at your suggestion.

“rouroul3l3 has donated $5! Says ‘put a fucking cooking spray. Put a fucking cooking spray before you pop it in the oven, idiots’”

“Oh. Right!” you both exclaimed in unison, running around the kitchen to find some cooking spray. “Do you even have cooking spray?” you exclaimed, shutting the drawers close as you came back to the camera’s line of vision. “Uh,” Jeno paused for a second before walking out of the camera view and shouted at the top of his lungs. “Jaemin! Do we have cooking spray?” he ran over to his roommate’s room once again.

In the distance you can hear Jaemin’s door being slammed open by either the man himself or your boyfriend. “What do you want now, Jeno?!” he exclaimed loudly, loud enough for you and the microphone to pick up, that is. “Do we have cooking spray?” Jeno’s voice was barely audible to the viewers, but luckily, you adjusted the mic so they could hear the conversation they were having. “No, we don’t. Could you two keep it down? I’m almost done editing my video,” Jaemin groaned.

“Okay, okay. But what should we use since we don’t have cooking spray?” Jeno asked once again, pushing on the poor boy’s buttons as you stared at the camera with an amused expression, trying hard not to burst out laughing. “I don’t know, just melt some butter or something,” was the last thing you heard before Jaemin’s door slammed shut, causing you to finally burst out laughing.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Jeno chuckled, jogging over to pinch your cheeks as you continued to laugh. “So we don’t have cooking spray?” you teased before Jeno gave you an incredulous scoff. “I know for a fact you heard Jaemin yelling at the top of his lungs so don’t you even dare ask that question!” Jeno giggled, waving his index finger at you disappointingly. “I’m just kidding,” you smacked his hand away before grabbing some butter from the fridge.

“Let’s just put this in the oven for it to melt for about five-ish minutes,” Jeno said, carefully pulling the dough from the tray for you to spread butter all over it. He placed the dough back on the counter before lifting the tray and putting it in the oven, clasping his hands together loudly before turning to look at the laptop screen in front of the two of you. “Now we wait!” he exclaimed with a bright, tight-lipped smile. 

“Wafflesisyou has donated $9! Says ‘You could’ve used olive oil, you know’”

You and Jeno froze in place as if your brains short circuited for a brief second before laughing it off casually. “You guys could’ve told us that earlier, it’s too late now. The pan is in the oven, there’s no turning back now,” you said in a sinister voice, laughing nervously as you moved over to peek at the tray through the door of the oven. “Like I said before, originality and creativity. We’re coming up with new scientific methods to cook our pizza,” Jeno added with an innocent smile.

You then grabbed a wet rag and opened the oven, pulling the tray out to show the camera that the butter has melted completely. “Okay, so now that that’s done. How do we fit two pizzas in one tray? That’s literally the only tray we have in this house,” Jeno pointed at the pizza then pointed at the tray as you carefully placed the hot tray on the counter near the pizza. “Uh, the store-bought one is a little too big,” you laughed, lifting the cold circular pizza to make a point before putting it back down on the counter,

“Does anyone have any advice? We really need your help on this one, chat,” Jeno giggled, dusting off the flour on his clothes. “‘Cut it’,” you read aloud, squinting your eyes at the chat box before humming. “Don’t you have a pizza cutter somewhere?” you asked causing Jeno to start looking around the drawers once again. “We really should have prepared this earlier. It’s been an hour and a half since the live stream started and we spent most of the live being idiots,” Jeno mumbled aloud, causing you to laugh. “Summary of our relationship, really,” you shrugged at the camera.

Pulling out a clean pizza cutter, Jeno raised it up like an adorable child and hopped on over beside you with a small ‘found it!’ coming from his lips. “You’re so adorable,” you gushed, you couldn’t help but reach over and pinch your boyfriend’s cheeks gingerly, causing him to swat your hand away with a roll of his eyes. He then cut the pizza in half before placing it at the edge of the tray, putting your smaller one right beside it.

“There! It fits!” he exclaimed. “Finally!” you groaned, grabbing the wet rag you previously tossed away when no one was looking and lifted the tray up. “Now to bake in the microwave! Gordon Ramsay, we’ll make you proud!” Jeno beamed, watching as you pushed the tray into the oven and pressed some buttons to turn it on and start the timer.

“You know that cooking show where people who are like- the worst cooks known to mankind are featured on? I believe there was a girl who cut an avocado along with the seed with a knife as if it was butter? I really do believe we have the potential of being the winners of that show,” you put your hands up in exhaustion, making Jeno wheeze and clutch his stomach in pain as he continued to laugh hard. 

“The Worst Cooks In America was by far the most interesting cooking video in my youtube recommended feed,” Jeno wiped his tears away as he continued to laugh at your jokes. “Stop or else I’m kicking you out of the live stream,” Jeno threatened weakly, composing himself for a brief moment before meeting your eyes which were glinting in amusement. “Oh, really?” you wiggled your eyebrows suggestively at him before snorting at your own cringey actions.

“I’m never doing that again,” you wheezed out. “Please do,” Jeno nodded in agreement as the viewers continued to watch you read comments and joke around while waiting for the pizzas to finally cook. At some point you and Jeno started sword fighting with cooking utensils on camera with your viewers commenting either how you were going to break your cooking utensils or supporting you individually in said battle.

But nonetheless it was still a funny moment considering Jeno whipped out a cutting board from the counter behind him to use as a shield. You ended up losing and Jeno insisted that you kissed the winner as the prize. But unfortunately for him, you were too much of a troll to give your viewers the satisfaction of seeing the two of you kiss on camera so you tugged him by the collar of his shirt and took a few steps back to give him his prize.

“Pizza’s ready!” you exclaimed, pulling away from Jeno who seemed to be in a daze after kissing you for a solid fifteen seconds as you ran up to the oven. Grabbing some gloves from the cupboard above you, you slipped them on and pulled out the pizzas with a proud smile etched across your face. “Voila!” you did a chef’s kiss as you plopped the tray down on the counter, adjusting the camera so your viewers could have a magnificent view of the cheese bubbling on the pizza.

“Bon appétit!" Jeno said, wiping the remnants of your lip gloss from his mouth as he walked back into the camera’s view. Glitter spread all around his mouth as he gave a boyish smile at the camera, waving at it as if nothing had happened behind the camera. “Okay, but- damn! It smells so good in here,” Jeno gasped as you sliced a piece or two of your pizza and placed it on a clean white plate with a confirmed nod. “Agreed. I actually take what I said back, this actually doesn’t look too bad,” you admitted with a sigh, handing him a plate before raising yours at the camera.

“This looks exquisite if I do say so myself,” Jeno picked up the pizza with his fingers, examining it. “Actually, it’s kind of burnt a little on the bottom but I loved how it turned out!” Jeno’s eyes twinkled with joy once he realised you two didn’t fuck up too badly in this cooking live stream. “I still would have preferred it if we made chocolate balls instead,” you muttered under your breath, receiving a glare from Jeno. 

“Maybe next year,” he joked before taking a bite out of the pizza, humming in delight. 

“Is it actually good? “ you asked him. 

“A little undercooked, but it’s actually really good! ” 

You gaped, leaning your head to the side in wonder as you watched him nod eagerly. You opened your mouth at him, gesturing for him to feed you as you let out a soft ‘ah!’. Jeno smiled, leaning his hands forward to put the plate under your chin and the pizza into your mouth, letting you take a big bite out of it. You chewed for a small moment, feeling Jeno’s eyes on you curiously.

You hummed as your eyes lit up in surprise, nodding as you gave him a thumbs up. “It’s rather burnt, but it’s not that bad! It has my seal of semi-approval!” you gave the camera a small thumbs up before, picking up your own plate which was supposed to be the store bought pizza. “Now let’s try this one!” you turned your plate around to let the viewers drool over your premade pizza before taking a bite out of it, not forgetting to feed Jeno as well.

You and Jeno hummed in unison, nodding as you both internally agreed that this pizza was way better than yours.

“The store bought one tasted like trash,” you said to the camera. “Ours was definitely better,” Jeno nodded, going along with your joke as you both continued to eat the store bought pizza together in front of the camera. “Ladies and Gentlemen, our recipe is a ten out of ten! We did it!” you both clapped graciously to your own success, cheering as if you just won the lottery and ignoring how Jaemin’s muffled shouts for you two to shut up fell deaf in your ears.

You coughed, grabbing a glass of water as Jeno continued to eat the pizza. He then decided it was your cue to end the live stream together. “Okay guys, it’s time for us to head out,” he started, dusting the crumbs off of his hands as he placed the half eaten pizza back on the plate. “Thank you so much for watching this stream! This video will be reuploaded to youtube for those who missed out on this chaotic adventure!” you announced with a clap, giving your boyfriend a glass of water for him to drink.

“Thank you for donating and thank you for guiding us in our cooking journey. And most of all, thank you for being here and have a good night!” Jeno finished as you both waved at the camera enthusiastically with wide smiles before you clicked on your mouse to end the live stream with a high pitched “see you guys later!” 

Jenogames has uploaded a new video!

 Itshaechanyoursun has commented : Nobody:

Literally nobody:

Jeno: origintality and creativity.

   Itshaechanyoursun has replied: *originality 

   Jenogames has replied: if you’re gonna clown me at least spell correctly

y/nisfunny: this was a terrible idea.

y/nisfunny: let’s make chocolate balls next!

   Jenogames has replied: Babe, ily BUT NO

Nanaplays has commented: JENO YOU DID NOT JUST LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND USE MY NEW STARBUCKS CUP

DancingPWARK has commented: As a boy who only cooks instant ramen for a living, this video made me feel like I could be the next Gordon Ramsey

  Jenogames has replied: AIGHT BET

Conspiracieswithyaboi has commented: the donations you made in this stream should be used for you guys to take culinary classes, this whole video was painful to watch

Leleflex has commented: F to the chocolate balls y/n never got to make

  y/nisfunny has replied: THIS.

Markleevlogs has commented: Burn this.

TAGLIST: @moonbeamsung​ @hansolstea​ 

a/n: LMAO WHAT IS THIS FIC