#i just absolutely dont feel like even thinking about it? like i still like the game but don't want to draw

[softness-and-shattering]

Most of my autistic friends expect that their friendships will one day out of the blue blow up in their face as people vent built-up frustrations about behaviours that annoyed others that was never ever communicated to them, and/or because of whats called "the double empathy problem" which describes one of the main ways allistic-autistic communication goes sideways. Ive been in social groups - discord type groups - where the autistics get kicked out because we are speaking plainly and askingd questions, and the mods or admin or other authority figures interpret these questions as deliberate insubordination and challenges to their authority, get "tired and fed up" with "the disrespect" and start kicking people. I have seen this happen in disability groups.

And its not all black and white. Like sometimes I can pick up on social cues because I have deliberately learned them, or learned them the hard way. I can even sometimes say one thing and mean another, but I dont often. I might pick up on one cue and totally miss another. Sometimes I just dont know why someone is saying something, theyre obviously implying something but I dont know what. This can get tricky when someone wants to indicate something without being able to be quoted about it, and sometimes I need to ask them to clarify and if theyre still dodgy I have to guess and hope I got it right.

And sometimes we're aware of unspoken rules but we dont recognise their authority over us because theyre bad or nonsensical. We tend to stick to rules if we understand them and they make sense. When theyre crap rules, I dont care how much money someone makes I will treat them the same as everyone else. I dont care how many high status cars someone has, we are equals.

Im getting off track - my point is that basically every autistic I know has ongoing trauma of friendships and social groups suddenly turning on them for no discernable reason and no warning and absolutely no previous indication that anything was wrong - sometimes after being explicitly told everything was ok the day before. This happens to us all the time. Its so damaging and so hurtful.

Personally I dont second guess as a general rule. I someone has a problem with me I trust they will tell me about it and we can problem solve and introspect. If Im not told, no matter what vibes Im picking up bc I dont know if the vibes are real or my own anxieties, I will act like nothing is wrong. If someone wants to blow up at me that has reflects zero on me and entirely on their inability to speak up about whatever was bothering them. Thats not a me problem. I cannot do anything with zero information.

Lemme induct you in an autistic way of bring and introduce you to a script you can use. Something like "hi friend, can I talk to you for a second about the meeting yesterday? [If Y continue, if N ask when you can talk to them about it.*] So I dont know if you noticed, but you spent the whole time tapping your fingernails on the table, and honestly the noise was distracting and mightve been irritating for some people. I just thought you should know bevause I dont think anyone else was going to bring it up with you. Could you please find a quieter way to stim/do what you need to/move in the ways you need to to concentrate. Ok thank you, no ones super upset just mildly irritated I think. I just figured someone should actually tell you"

Or even "hi. You spent the whole meeting earlier tapping on the table and it was pretty loud. Could you please find a way to be quieter in meetings, its just a bit distracting for some people? Awesome thank you".

Just be polite and straightforward, say what you want and what the problem is. Assume competence, sometimes we make deliberate choices against the status quo for important reasons not cluelessness. And give time for them to figure out an alternative, be undsrstanding if they cant. Just use your words, communicate clearly. It might feel a little confrontational but believe me its not as bad as bring dropped as a friend or fired out of nowhere. That sucks**

*Dont just say "can we talk", give a reason, otherwise they will likely spend the time between notification and meeting inventing every worse case scenario they can possibly think of. A couple words of context goes a long way.

** I came across a youtuber who, idk for sure if theyre autistic but they talk with an extremely flat effect (meaning, little tonal variance between words, not much expression in the voice, every word comes out more or less the same, "robotic"), which is an autistic trait. They mentioned in a video that they had a 'normal' job before youtube, until one day they found themself fired, given reason was their flat effect scared people and made them seem unfriendly and unhappy to be there and interacting. Sounded like it was completely out of the blue. Thats a job lost due to ableism though possibly no one involved sees it that way. Some people cant change how they speak or dont want to. Shouldnt have to. But at least mention it, see if the person is willing to adjust, and consider if it truly disqualifies them from being able to perform the job or is it just a little unusual.

I saw some snippet of a callout post for an autistic trans woman where they list social faux pas she committed, and I think we allistic people should all feel 100x more ashamed of not telling people in the moment how we feel about what they're doing. I think its extremely evil and cruel to not only lie to an autistic person and blame them for it but also to feel justified shaming them for your behavior. And it's currently the social norm to do that

[itadooori]

I desire to see more of Hyun-ju in your style, please (and tell me more about your oc's as well, I like people's oc's)

hyun-ju the most beautiful girl ever (⸝⸝⸝• ω •⸝⸝⸝) ♡ i love her sm!!! thank u for giving me an excuse to draw her haha

as for my squid game ocs, i'll put my ramble under the cut as i have quite a bit to say lol

so! my ocs :3 as i previously mentioned before, they are a father and daughter pair! (i also finally came up with names for them, adhika is the daughter and dakila is the father)

much like geum-ja and yong-sik, i think that they both joined the games separately and only knew abt each other when they arrived. their family is def struggling, with adhika's father in debt and having a hard time finding work while her mother takes care of her younger siblings. adhika just turned 18 a few months ago, and has been working odd jobs here and there in attempts to support her family and pay off their debt, but the money is just a drop in the bucket.

adhika feels a very strong sense of responsibility towards her family, and wants to help out. she even refused to leave to go to university, despite being very smart and having a bright future in academics, to help out her family. but also sometimes, she also feels...burdened? it's a very conflicting feeling. she loves her family, but she'd be lying if she said didn't feel a twinge of resentment at this situation. i hope that makes sense lol

i haven't yet decided if my ocs are gonna just be fun little canon inserts or if im giving them their own story. both options seem rlly fun to me so kjssdkfjh im having a tough time deciding

some fun little tidbits about dakila and adhika's way of going about the games:

adhika is locked the fuck in. she's already at a disadvantage being a young, 5 foot tall, non-korean girl, so she's working twice or thrice as hard to get thru this shit

as i said before, adhika is very smart. she has good people-reading skills, and the ability to kinda morph into whatever people need her to be, or fit into whatever dynamic she believes people want her to fit (a skill that she picked up from just. life experience as the oldest sibling in a struggling family LMAO)

dakila is trying to look out for his daughter, but the games put a strain on their relationship

adhika has lowkey manipulative tendencies. they come out and worsen during the games. honestly, just think of her as a nasty mix of sang-woo and mi-nyeo. absolutely FOUL things coming from this girl i love her

this isnt really important at all nor does it really come up within her story but i still want to mention adhika is a lesbian. she joins the doomed squid game lesbian roster with sae-byeok ji-yeong and young-mi LMAO

akjfhdskjhf sorry this is so jumbled i just have a lot of thoughts. i'm still ironing out dakila and his personality so unfortunately i dont have as much on him as i do with adhika. but i hope that this information is interesting enough for now!! thank you SO much for giving me the chance to ramble abt my silly guys

[unriding]

a … a gift from the talented @kruinka 🥹 thank you so much!! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)

[harmony-heaven]

I completely agree that Harry is a very powerful wizard. Everyone but Snape seems to agree on that point. However, I feel most of these particular examples are a demonstration of how strong Harry’s bond with his wand is.

He's absolutely devastated when it is broken in DH. More than you'd expect for a 'broken tool'. And the way it fights for him in the Battle of Seven Potters is basically unheard of.

"Harry took it into his hands as though it was a living thing that had suffered a terrible injury."

Harry is so intimately tied to his wand he can cast magic through it at distance and by thought when in duress.

Which is another reason I love that Hermione can canonically use Harry’s wand perfectly. A wand so entwined to Harry. One of the first objects he ever owned and one central to his new status as a magic user. And she can just pick it up and use it without even noticing it's not her own. As he can easily use hers.

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wand, tapped the lock, and whispered, "Alohamora!"

Ron struggled through PS and CoS with Charlie's old wand. Neville was thought basically a squib coz he used his dad's old wand. Wands dont switch allegiance easy and if they do, the old user would then have issues mastering it again. But Harry and Hermione used each other's wands to cast powerful magic without even seeming to realise they've done so.

The trust they have for the most important magical item in their lives is extended to one another as well. Right from PS, before the troll incident even as Hermione uses Harry’s wand to open Fluffy's door.

And later, Harry casts Lumos using Hermione’s wand while following Snape's patronus, lays the still lit wand down next to the pond and jumps in.

He stepped to the pool's edge and placed Hermione’s wand on the ground, still lit.

He never once complains about it being uncomfortable or hard to use. Whereas he definitely considers how unfamiliar the Snatcher wand Ron provided is.

The new one felt intrusively unfamiliar, like having somebody else's hand sewn to the end of his arm.

... she could take the blackthorn wand if she thought it made no difference, and he would have hers instead.

Harry didn't win the wands allegiance so it doesn't work well for him. But Hermione’s worked perfectly. Never even a hint that it doesn't work well for him. He casts instinctively with it.

I cannot think of anywhere else that people use someone else's wand without at least some struggle against the wands bond to the owner. Except these two. It's as if they both share both wands from the very start.

Sorry that got a lot longer than I intended. Guess I'm not writing any of my fanfic this morning, lol.

Harry can cast spells wandlessly in canon

I'm always going about how Harry's magic is super powerful and works insanely intuitively. How he can sense magic and make spells do whatever he needs them to do at the moment. And I was innocently reading the dementor attack in OotP when I encountered yet another moment of Harry's magic being insane that I haven't brought up before:

A fist made contact with the side of Harry’s head, lifting Harry off his feet. Small white lights popped in front of Harry’s eyes; for the second time in an hour he felt as though his head had been cleaved in two; next moment he had landed hard on the ground, and his wand had flown out of his hand. “You moron, Dudley!” Harry yelled, his eyes watering with pain, as he scrambled to his hands and knees, now feeling around frantically in the blackness. He heard Dudley blundering away, hitting the alley fence, stumbling. [...] “DUDLEY, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Wand!” Harry muttered frantically, his hands flying over the ground like spiders. “Where’s — wand — come on — Lumos!” He said the spell automatically, desperate for light to help him in his search — and to his disbelieving relief, light flared inches from his right hand — the wand tip had ignited. Harry snatched it up, scrambled to his feet, and turned around.

(OotP, Ch1)

Reading this made me so excited becouse:

1. Harry casts Lumos without touching his wand, without any wand movement, nothing. He just says the spell while meaning it and it's enough to light up his wand.

Like, that's an insane feat of magic!

Like, Harry pulls shit like this on the regular and people still say he isn't that powerful. Harry may not be all finesse and elegance when it comes to spellcasting, but he's got the raw talent in spades.

So, in canon, in OotP, Harry lights up his wand without even holding it. Harry, canonicly has a talent for wandless magic if he wants to do something with it.

Hell, earlier when the dementors just arrived Harry thought he was causing the darkness for a moment so he's at least somewhat aware of how his magic works:

For a split second Harry thought he had done magic without meaning to, despite the fact that he’d been resisting as hard as he could — then his reason caught up with his senses — he didn’t have the power to turn off the stars.

(OotP, Ch1)

Meaning Harry is somewhat aware he can do magic without meaning to and he is actively resisting it in this scene! That's what he is saying.

2. This is a possible interpretation of the first quote, but it's a bit more speculative: Harry might've summoned his wand wandlessly by calling for it.

In the scene, Harry shouts for his wand while scrambling on the ground blind for it. It's unclear how far the wand originally flew, but I think it's possible to read the passage as Harry summoning the wand toward his hand since he finds it right under his fingers even though, he likely felt the ground in that exact spot before, almost as if the wand just appeared there.

Harry calling "wand" working as a summoning charm wouldn't actually be that far off from other magical feats we see from him (I already mentioned this one in the past but I'm not over it):

Dust swirled around Harry like mist, catching the blue gaslight, as Mrs. Black continued to scream. “Mudbloods, filth, stains of dishonor, taint of shame on the house of my fathers—“ “SHUT UP!” Harry bellowed, directing his wand at her, and with a bang and a burst of red sparks, the curtains swung shut again, silencing her

(DH, Ch9)

He cast "shut up" as a spell. No wand movement, no incantation, nothing. And it worked on closing the curtains on Walburga's portrait, something the entire Order of the Phoenix couldn't do magically and struggled with manually! And here, 17-year-old Harry just shuts her up with his will alone basically.

So, yeah, Harry's insanely powerful and he is Voldemort's equal.

[cent-scratchnsniff]

something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Qatar Grand Prix - Sprint - Oscar Piastri

[malewife-overlord]

OKAY ACTUALLY LET ME ELABORATE SOME MORE BECUASE IM NOT DONE. Let’s think even more about how good a boyfriend Reflector could be because here’s the thing here’s the THING: Christmas presents. You could get this man a lens polishing cloth and he would love it. And he’d pop like a fucking portafolio of photos of you he carefully edited and cut out and scrapbooked of your best and favorite moments throughout the year bc mans is always taking photos. Dude wants to capture every beautiful moment with you.

Dude also has BLACKMAIL on like everyone you dislike. Dude is always taking photos and his smaller forms would WAIT. They would just straight up ruin the life of anyone who made you feel bad bc they’ve got dirt on nigh EVERYONE.

If you ever get into a fight he can split into three and chances are one of them is not mad at you bc he agrees with you actually so you still have a Guy you can chill with

If the government ever comes to be like WHERES YOUR TRANSFORMER you can be like officer I’ve never heard of the word because he’s a CAMERA he can become TINY and fit right in your backpack how are you going to hide a whole ass blue JET. YOU CANT. But you CAN hide a CAMERA

if you’ve got three guys you get three extra birthdays and that means more cake

If you’ve got three guys that means THREE GUYS TO HELP YOU COOK IN THE KITCHEN

if you’ve got three guys you can have some WILD threesomes just saying

And reflector isn’t a great fighter he’s espionage so like you don’t have to be afraid of him going off to war and never coming back bc he gets called like once a week and ignores it half the time and no one bothers trying to hunt him down because he’s got blackmail on Everyone so like

And don’t forget that reflector would give you FOUR birthday presents because you get one from reflector one from spectro one from spyglass and one from viewfinder and they all put a ton of work into each

AND DONT FORGET YOU CAN FIT THEM IN A CAR TOO EVEN IN ROBOT MODE. YOU CAN DRIVE HIM AROUND WITHOUT BREAKING YOUR VEHICLE EVEN IF HE ISNT IN ALT MODE

so in conclusion:

Reflector has the perfect human society alt mode. He gives you 3x as many presents. He puts THOUGHT into all his gifts and makes them all from your most special moments. You never have to be afraid of him dying in battle. He can help with chores and get them done 3x as fast. No decepticon will bother you because he’s got blackmail and the Autobots won’t care because it’s just Reflector. You can get FREAKY with him because he’s also three guys. And he would absolutely ADORE you because he’s got a subject he can indulge his voyeurism kink on.

REFLECTOR BEST DECEPTICON BOYFRIEND OR AT LEAST CONTENDER FOR THE BEST AND I WILL HEAR NO SLANDER AGAINST HIM

“Thundercracker would be the best decepticon boyfriend” this “Thundercracker would treat you right” that. Where’s my love for Reflector. Three in one boyfriend who is human sized you can let him in your house without it breaking. You can have one guy doing dishes one guy vacuuming and one guy playing vidya games with you all at once. You can have one BIG guy who you go out in public with and three guys if you wanna go to the mall. Never run out of boyfriends with reflector. Also his alt mode fits in your hands and you could probably get freaky with it let’s be real

[spacedlexi]

the way the ericson group were at the outbreak just a bunch of troubled kids who made various mistakes or committed crimes and were judged by a system that punished and abandoned them instead of giving them the support and love they needed, are then nearly a decade later put into a situation where now they must judge a troubled child for the mistakes and crimes hes committed against them. and 5 to 3 vote them out 😭

[isa-ah]

met a really cool queer stranger today that i thought was just so fucking neat i wanted to talk but if we were playing tennis they were, with the most gentle and earnest voice ive ever heard, shoving the tennis racket down my throat. every compliment or joke i made was turned away but in the sweetest way possible that made me sound like an absolute asshole lunatic. it was so scary.

[widevibratobitch]

Ok, drop your favourite characters and ships from the Three Musketeers, queen. <3

the answer is pretty simple actually <3

Aramis is my babygirl, my murder kitten, my favourite little princess, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese... truly one of the characters of all time. to me. and he ages like fine wine - the older, the more cruel and ruthless and cunning and evil he gets, the better.

im a die-hard Athos/Aramis truther 🙏 i also adore the whole thing Aramis and Madame de Chevreuse have going on, especially their fucked up little divorce in the last book, it's insane and i'm obsessed with it. I do also think Aramis and d'Artagnan are long overdue for some quality hatesex sesh! and none of these are mutually exclusive, the opposite actually. basically i live for and breathe the entire d'Artagnan/Athos/Aramis/Marie drama. it's everything to me <333

[sydmarch]

one of the funniest things I've had happen in therapy was my therapist's failed technique that banked on me being idk like. nice. "ik people probably think I'm annoying/stupid/crazy when I'm forced to express a need that most normal people don't seem to have" "well would you feel that way about other people who have similar needs to you or other uncommon needs?" "I mean I wouldn't like, say it to them, but yeah probably" & she just didn't know how to respond lmao

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[skunkes]

unsure how to word this but there is something about having ocs with unsavory events happening in their past where it's like. talking about it, even when asked, seems almost gratuitous and inappropriate. and i'd much rather describe it through the oc themself and/or draw Them saying it. which is like. fitting for the subject matter? like of course its weird to talk about somebody else's business...!

and falls back into humanizing em/exploratory writing and development where u consider the impact of words said/words unsaid/HOW those words are said etc etc

[skitskatdacat63]

Ik two days gone isn't a huge deal to other people but it is to me, since I feel like I woke up in a completely different world. It felt wrong to come back and blog and act like nothing happened, re: current events. I still feel pretty numb and empty about it all, along with many other emotions. I couldn't bring myself to look at any social media bcs it was like rubbing salt in the wound, and it still feels like its take a bit before I'm gonna be able to truly enjoy all the things I enjoy again. I was gonna write some long post about my feelings about it all but, I feel like atp I'd rather just try to indulge in what makes me happy I guess. Thankfully the fomo of not getting to commentate on all the F1 things that have happened have brought me out of the anxious slump I was in(new driver?? GPDA??? Zhou out??? Send me posts???)

On a completely unrelated note. Anyone interested in adoption?

[bayrut]

severance ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[puppppppppy]

man ok so you know the spiciness scale on menus that show you how spicy a dish is so you can order based on your tolerance. can we have that for sauces too please