#i just Cannot focus ever on anything bc i have So Much i want to do and i Need all of it to be at least decent

[lesbeid0u]

physically incapable of being honest i simply MUST concoct an elaborate and potentially ongoing lie to tell my boss im quitting over text barely three weeks in because saying 'hey man i actually dont think this job is as good a fit for me like i thought itd be and i really need to focus on my classes right now because theyre also a lot more demanding than i thought theyd be as well so i think itd be best for me to part ways on good terms before things start to go south' is simply doing too much and would bring the morale down. i need to lie to this man

[sol-flo]

i'm going to destroy this damn phone

- the boss avoider

[yesimwriting]

Please please please write for itwv. I would cry of happiness?

You seem like a lestat girl... But also a armand.

"You seem like a lestat girl... But also a armand." you clocked me and my love of toxic men omg

here's a lestat drabble just for u anon <3

Summary: Darkness encroaching on what's considered holy is one of the world's few consistencies. Or alternatively, Lestat enjoys your stolen moments more than he'd ever admit.

Warnings: my first time writing for a character so be nice bc that's always a little scary 😭, slight religious allusions/metaphors, no pronouns used but there are potential vague implications that the reader was socialized as a girl/woman

----

What's confined to the shadows holds little regard for the sacred. The absence of light leaves no space for the good, no sanctuary or safe place to keep darkness from swallowing the revered whole.

It's fitting, then, that Lestat cannot bring himself to let you go.

You shift, fingertips brushing against the inside of his wrist. There's a valiant effort on your end to keep the turn of your head subtle, but it's not enough to keep him from feeling the weight of your cautious stare.

He keeps his eyes on your ceiling. You're radiating a warmth he's not sure he'll ever grow accustomed to, the heat of you nowhere near as simple as blood and flesh alone. It's as if remnants of daylight cling to your skin, so alive and attached to you your touch should scald him.

"Did you miss me?" The question is a thing of greed rather than curiosity.

You're quiet for a moment, your mind warning you to not reveal too much. Your hand stalls against his forearm. "Of course I missed you."

Your thoughts focus on your own response. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is a facet of your being, a testament to your ever giving honesty. Regardless of vampiric gifts, your thoughts, your feelings are easy to notice, even when they're not simple.

Now, your head is latching onto a myriad of things. Ever the lamb blinded by the wolf's clothing, you were more than just happy when he appeared at your window, you were relieved. A part of you, however, was still worried in a way that came close to making you resentful. The contrasting feelings blend together now, enjoying his presence isn't enough to make you forget his absence. Humanity and its ability to turn an approximate two weeks of nothingness into something with meaning.

Lestat turns his arm over, his fingers finding yours. "You seem to have little interest in showing me."

An exaggerated sigh falls from your lips. You move further onto your side, attention now openly settling onto him. From you, divine prophecy takes the form of a barely there crease between your eyebrows and your lips pressing together to fight against a smile. There's a similar sort of revelation in the way you're looking at him now.

"That is not true." You're working at an irritation you don't feel in an attempt to mask your desire for this type of conflict. Your elbow presses into the mattress as you prop your head up. "The only thing I've done tonight is dote on you."

In your defense, you always give as much as you can. You're generous with your attention, listening to his every word as you hold onto him, gentle fingers attempting to work warmth into stone flesh. It's a companionship unlike anything else. What once was only a simple form of entertainment has morphed into a dichotomy that shouldn't exist. You ever the saint and him the night's creature tainting holy ground.

He drags his thumb against your knuckles. "Really? You're doting on me?" The corner of your mouth pulls itself upwards, the look bordering on a smile. "And if I were to tell you I want more. What then, ange?"

Your thoughts instruct you to hold his gaze as you squeeze his hand. "Then I think I'd have to warn you of the dangers of greed."

"I'm a selfish man." Lestat lifts your intertwined hands. You watch him curiously, blood dragging its way up your neck as he presses his lips to the back of your palm. "I don't need a warning."

You're so close now he can feel the flush of your skin. "You talk like it's too late for you."

The promise of eternity is enough to quell the effects of irony. It's human nature to cling to ideality, to believe that the world is something they can take at face value. Still, from you, the comment is enough to make him smile.

The comment is closer to a joke than a genuine analysis, but it's clear that you mean the sentiment. Your eyes are bright, forgiving in their kindness. Perhaps if you knew what he was, you'd no longer look at him like he's responsible for the stars hanging in the sky.

"Maybe it is."

Your expression briefly falters, but before any changes can take root, you're moving back. You remain on your side as you lie down, head resting against his side. "I doubt that."

He begins to trail his fingers against your shoulder. You'll fall asleep soon, and he'll leave the way he always does, shedding the only version of himself you'd ever welcome with open arms. "Of course you would."

"What?"

His palm settles against your back. "You're a good person, mon ange." The vagueness of the topic paired with the tinge of something harsh in his voice leaves your thoughts restless. Lestat should take care to not pull at threads, to not leave you with questions he cannot answer. "Almost irritatingly so."

You lift your head enough to rest your chin against his ribs. "Irritatingly so?" The words are repeated with an easiness that manages to surprise him, your easy mood returning. "You're impossible."

"And you missed me desperately."

You stare at him skeptically, eyebrows drawing together and head angling itself to one side. "I never said desperately."

He pulls your arm towards him, fingers digging into your hand with enough force to imply a warning. "Do not be mean."

"I'm not," you defend, tone conveying a honey sweet innocence that could convince anyone you're incapable of wrongdoing, "I'm only saying I never told you how much I missed you."

You don't realize your mistake until the sentence has already left you. Lestat grins. "And how much did you miss me?"

Ignoring the warmth making its way up your chest, you shake your head once before moving to lie on your back again. "Oh, infinitely so. I spent my evenings in utter agony.

The facetious response is not enough to distract from your thoughts. You missed him more than you'd ever be willing to admit. For now, he'll leave you your pride. After all, he'll have other nights to focus on drawing out our praises. "Fine, be sarcastic. We're all entitled to our secrets."

You extend an arm, moving to rest it against his side. He'll have to take extra care not to wake you when he eventually has to detangle your limbs from his. The thought of the inevitable digs at him in a way he can't make sense of. Beings of the shadows may constantly work at ebbing away light, but there's an inevitable end to all wear away. You were right to notice his greed.

"Yeah," you mumble, the syllable heavy with drowsiness. For a moment, you're so still and silent Lestat almost convinces himself you've fallen asleep. "Then what are yours?"

His hand smooths circles against your spine. "That I think about stealing you away."

Your mind seems to catch itself on his answer, thoughts dissecting his words with an awareness that defies the docility that takes over when you're half asleep. After a moment, you choose to see humor there, but that isn't enough for you to let it go. "Is it really stealing if I want to go?"

You don't know what you're asking for. You're from a world so separate from his own you cannot even fathom the true implication of your words. His lips part, but before he can respond your breathing evens and your mind empties, finally succumbing to sleep.

----

a/n i really liked writing this so if you have any itwv requests pls feel free to send them to me!! just specify the character and as a general note i usually assume fem!reader but i'm happy to write gn!reader if it's specified in the ask :))

[pedroscurls]

in every lifetime (pt. 3)

summary: as you're both standing in the hallway, all logan can think about is the version of you in his universe. pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader word count: 2.4k tags / warnings: angst - post deadpool & wolverine ("worst" logan!variant), brief appearance of wade, logan dreams about his universe's version of you (in italics), no use of y/n. a/n: wanted to write a chapter where it's solely logan's POV. i hope i captured the essence of his character (still pretty new on writing for him!). also pulled some inspo from the scene in prisoners where keller is sitting in the passenger seat of loki's car - ugh that scene gets me everytime! anyway, hope you all enjoyed bc my heart was breaking when listening to the song while writing... hehe stay tuned for more angst 😅 song: lost without you by freya ridings prev. part - next part.

Logan’s hand drops to his side as his eyes search yours. The sudden sense of familiarity stares right back at him, and he feels his heart swell with excitement, but breaks at the memory that nags in the back of his mind. Tears are pooling at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over. The chatter and laughter coming from the living room fades into the background as the only thing he can focus on is you. 

He’d be fooling himself if he thought this was his second chance with you. A second chance at making things right. Logan never got what he wanted and even when he got a glimpse of it, it was taken from him. He can’t lose you again and he knows that it’s going to hurt, knows that he’s going to break your heart (and his), but he knows that it’s better this way. You are better off without him. 

“I don’t know if I can do this,” he whispers, voice shaky. “You– You deserve someone better than me, than what I can give you.” Logan feels his heart break all over again at the sight of you – the way your lower lip trembles as a tear slides down your cheek – because he knows that you’ve heard this before. If your Logan was anything like him, then he knows that you’re used to this. Used to him deciding what’s best for you because he had done this same thing to the version of you in his universe. 

And the same look that you had in his other world is the same look you’re giving him now. Silently pleading with him that he is what you deserve because there’s no one better than him. In your eyes, Logan was (and will always be) the only man for you. 

Logan can sense your urge to reach out to him, to touch him, but he doesn’t let you because he knows that if you do, he’d fall deeper… and deeper until there’s no way out. And he doesn’t deserve that, doesn’t deserve you. So, he takes a step back, trying to create some distance between the both of you but he can’t ignore the way he feels a pull towards you, like there’s an invisible string tying your souls together. 

“You died in my arms,” he continues, eyes gazing into yours. “You died because of me, do you get that?” Logan’s hands curl into fists, his claws threatening to come out. “Everyone I love dies, bub. I can’t–”

“I can’t just continue living my life when I know that you are here, in this world,” your voice trembles and you bring your hand up to wipe your tears away. “I’m not her,” you repeat. “And I know you’re not him, but maybe–”

“No,” Logan interrupts you. “I won’t ever be the Logan you want me to be.” 

“I don’t want you to be anyone but you, Logan.”

Logan shakes his head, blinking away the tears as a couple trickles down the side of his cheek. “No,” he repeats. “I can’t lose you again,” he whispers. “You called out for me and I failed you. What happens if I fail you again in this universe?” 

You have no words. You just stare at him, your fingertips yearning to reach out to him, to touch him, to get him to see what you see. This version of him is much more closed off than your Logan and while you know that each man has their own fair share of trauma, the one standing in front of you cannot overlook the fact that you had died because of him. 

“You deserve to live a life–”

“I haven’t been living since I lost my Logan,” you interject. “Seeing you– I know that you aren’t the same man that I lost all those years ago, but…” you take a deep and shaky breath. “But I can’t help the way I feel, Logan. I think you know that because you feel it too.”

“Don’t matter if I do,” he replies. 

“Yes, it does. Don’t you want to be happy?” 

“A man like me don’t get to be happy,” Logan answers. He goes to turn on his heel, but you reach out for his wrist. Your touch alone sends shockwaves through him and he turns around to look at you. Your hand lingers before it drops back to your side and Logan’s gaze never leaves you. 

“You will never be my Logan. I know that,” you mumble. “But I don’t want you to be the same man. I just want you.” 

“Sometimes we don’t get what we want, bub.” 

“So, we’re just supposed to act like we don’t know each other? Act like there’s nothing between us and–”

“Exactly. I stay out of your way and you stay out of mine.” 

You stare at him and Logan breaks your gaze to look down at the floorboards, his hands still clenched into fists. He thinks you’re going to say something, to try and talk him out of it, so when he hears you begin walking away, he lifts his eyes to see your back turned as you leave him standing – alone – in the hallway. 

It’s only at that moment that his claws come out as he huffs under his breath. Logan feels a twist in the pit of his stomach, his heart breaking at the sight of you walking away from him. That was one thing different about you and the version of you in his universe. 

Here, you were tired. Exhausted. Fed up. And you couldn’t take it anymore. 

In his universe, you fought for him until you couldn’t anymore. Until your last breath. 

Logan remains standing in the hallway, his heightened senses solely focused and zeroed in on you as he hears you mutter to Laura that it’s time to go. Only he would notice the sadness in your tone, the tremble in your voice, but you do your best to hide it from the younger girl. It isn’t until he hears the door shut that he goes back into his room, slamming his own door in frustration. 

—

A few hours pass and Logan hears a knock at his door. He’s already gone through his case of beer and a bottle of whiskey and he needs more, needs to numb the pain that can’t seem to go away. While he can’t shake the memory of you dying in his arms, he also can’t ignore the way his heart is calling out this world’s version of you. 

“Ain’t in the mood,” he calls out, a slight slur to his voice. 

The knocks persist until Logan stands up to open the door. When he sees Wade on the other side, he lets out a sigh and tries to close the door in his face. Wade shakes his head and puts his foot against the door, looking in Logan’s direction. 

“We’re talking,” Wade says, pushing Logan back into his room. 

“Don’t wanna talk.”

“Yeah, well, I think you need to, Peanut.” 

“Ain’t your business,” Logan mutters. “Besides, I was just about to leave.” 

“To get more alcohol?”

“What’s it to you, hm?” Logan threatens, pressing a finger against Wade’s chest. “Last I checked, I didn’t even want to be here.” 

“Tough shit,” Wade replies. “You’re here now and you need to make the most of it.”

“I don’t need to do anything.”

“What did you both talk about?” Wade asks, changing the subject. “You both were talking for a bit before she just abruptly left with Laura. So, what happened?”

“Told her what she needed to hear,” Logan growls. “Ain’t my fault she didn’t like it.”

“You really like to make shit difficult, don’t you?” Wade says with a laugh. “You know, I think this world’s version of Logan liked to make things difficult too. Is that a thing with you Wolverines, hm? Can’t see a good thing when it’s right in front of you?” 

Logan curls his hands into fists, his claws slowly coming out. 

“Oh, it’s taking a while to get going, huh? I hear that happens when you age–”

Logan slams his fist into Wade’s jaw with a low growl. “Do you ever shut the fuck up?” 

Wade grunts, rubbing his jaw as he looks at the older man. “Never,” he grins. “Now, I’m gonna let that one slide because you’re going through something, but–”

Logan throws another punch in Wade’s direction, but Wade easily dodges it which causes Logan to stumble forwards. 

“Careful there, Peanut,” he chuckles. “Listen, I didn’t come in here to get you riled up–”

“Sure as hell seems like it,” Logan mumbles. 

“That woman,” Wade begins. “Is your person, Logan. I’m sure in every universe, there’s a version of you and a version of her who love each other.”

Logan looks over at Wade, jaw tight and hands still curled into fists.

I will love you in every lifetime. 

In every universe and in every lifetime, I’m yours. 

“She’s just going to get hurt,” Logan admits. “And it’s going to be because of me.” 

Wade shrugs. “That’s a possibility.” 

Logan glares. 

“But you’re already hurting her, Logan.”

“She’ll get over it.”

Wade scoffs. “Her Logan died so long ago. Did she get over that?” 

“That’s different.”

“It’s not.”

“I’m not him,” Logan says. “I won’t ever be him.”

“She doesn’t want you to be him,” Wade sighs. 

“She died because of me, Wade,” Logan mumbles. “Took her last breath in my arms because I wasn’t there and every day–” his voice catches in his throat. “Every day I hear her voice, calling out to me. Every. Day! I have to live with that. Not you. Not her. Me!” 

“But, she loves you…”

“And I love her,” Logan admits, tears trickling down his cheeks. “But I can’t– How can I be happy when there’s a version of her out there that’s dead because of me?” 

“Maybe she’s the reason you start to heal,” Wade answers. “And maybe… Maybe the version of her in your universe would want you to be happy, Logan.”

Logan shakes his head. He knows that Wade has a valid point. You had always wanted him to be happy. Even when Logan had pushed you away in his universe, you still wanted the best for him. You had every right to be upset and frustrated with him, but instead, you loved him from afar and he felt every ounce of your love even if he didn’t deserve it. 

“You should leave now,” Logan replies. “I don’t wanna talk about this shit.” 

“This is your chance to live a life you always wanted, Logan,” Wade says seriously. “Everyone of us deserves that, even you.” 

“I ain’t everyone, Wade.” Logan mutters. 

—

Logan finally manages to pass out once Wade leaves his room. Behind closed lids, all he can see is you. His universe’s version of you. 

You’re wearing a white dress and there’s a glow around you and still, you’re smiling at him. Logan’s lying on his side and you’re across from him, hand reaching out to touch his cheek. Logan lets out a sigh, bringing his own hand to touch your wrist and it feels so real. You feel so real. 

“Hi, baby,” you whisper. 

“Y– You’re real?” 

“As real as I can be,” you giggle. Logan feels his heart swell at the sound and he leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. 

“Can you stay?”

“Not for long.”

“Can I come with you?”

“No, baby,” you say sadly. “Not yet.”

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, tears stinging his eyes. “I should have– I should have been there. I should have fought alongside all of you and–”

“Hey, hey…” you brush the pad of your thumb across his cheek, feeling his tears trickle down. “We don’t blame you, Logan.”

“You called out to me, baby,” Logan’s voice trembles. “You died in my arms. You– All I can hear is you.”

“I know,” you whisper. “I wish I can take it away for you.” 

“I shouldn’t have ever pushed you away. I loved you so much.”

“I know,” you repeat. “I never questioned it.”

“Then, why did you let me push you away?” 

“Because,” you say softly. “I wanted you happy and if that meant pushing me away, then…”

“But I hurt you.”

“You did,” you nod. “But I never questioned your love for me, that’s the difference.” 

Logan slowly wraps his arms around you, burying his face against the side of your neck. “I want to stay. I’ve been lost without you.” 

“You can’t stay, baby,” you tell him, running your hands through his hair. “There’s still a lot of life for you to live, people to save, someone to love…”

He shakes his head as he feels his entire body tremble against you, an overwhelming flood of emotions washing over him. “She isn’t you…”

“And you’re not her Logan, so what?” you answer. “I told you I would love you in every lifetime, Logan…” 

“I can’t–”

“You can,” you whisper, pulling back to look into his eyes. “You deserve to be happy, Logan. You deserve to be loved, baby.” you lightly peck his lips as your hand drops from his cheek. 

Logan suddenly gasps awake, looking around the darkened room. He tries to search for you, eyes scanning rapidly until his gaze settles on the empty side of the bed. 

“You deserve to be happy, Logan. You deserve to be loved.” 

He sits up on the edge of the mattress, head in his hands as your voice echoes in his mind. You felt so real, looked so real. It had been a long time since you had visited his dreams. 

“You deserve to be happy, Logan. You deserve to be loved.” 

Logan looks at the time and stands from the bed, pulling on his leather jacket. He walks across the hallway and knocks on Wade’s door. It takes the other man a few minutes to get up, rubbing his eyes. When he opens the door to see Logan standing on the other side, fully dressed, he furrows a brow. 

“You know what time it is, Peanut?” 

“What’s her address?” 

“Whose?”

Logan grunts. “You know who.”

Wade suddenly begins to grin, scrambling back into his bedroom to grab his phone. He writes down your phone number and your address before handing the piece of paper to Logan. 

“Go get her, Peanut.” 

---

taglist: @its-in-the-woods @mynatureworld @wadewnstonwilson

[pop-punklouis]

wanted to ask your opinion on the chappel roan tiktoks she made the other day about fame and boundaries. i know a lot of people are siding with her, but i just feel like she could've been nicer about what she said...? i get that she had this crazy rise in fame the past few months. and i dont know how i would respond to that change, but to be upset bc fans want to take photos with you and to be so rude about it bc you're on "your time" just???. idk i feel like im in the minority here

i think you're missing the entire point of her message, babe. you're choosing to focus on the "taking pictures with fans" part of her rant instead of what she was really talking about, which is the harassments and objectifications she's been the victim of due to this meteoric rise to fame. she was not saying you couldn't come up and ask her for a photo. she was saying, if she told a fan "no" that some fans have immediately called her rude and tried to start an agenda about her being ungrateful and harsh in person. she was never talking about nice fan interactions. she was most definitely talking about every other interaction she's gotten that has been. inhumane

regardless, why should she be nicer about... anything... she was talking about? i'm tired of the parasocial and chronically online dictating how celebrities must react to fame and to their fans. harassment, stalking, manipulation, condescension.... these do not have to be synonymous with fame because hey! people don't have to treat other human beings like they're caged animals in a zoo! because they! signed up for this lifestyle! those aren't normal things and no one should expect someone to just. adapt to those things like it is. she can be as mean as she wants, dude. i don't blame her

why are people stalking her family? why are people pushing her boundaries? why are people pretending like her very valid and raw critique of how she's been treated since she went uber-viral are actually her "showing her true colors" and being "unappreciative" for what she chose to do for a living? like she stated in her videos, you don't know her. she doesn't know you. it is not normal to pretend like you do and to interact with her like you do. tiktok has made this parasocial relationship with celebrities worse than i ever could've imagined and we are seeing the darker side of it with chappel roan right now because she is being vocal about it. it's overwhelming. it's very abnormal. and it should be discussed more.

these people don't owe you anything. it's one thing to be ungrateful for what fans have given you. its another thing to feel like you are living in a fish bowl because people are treating you like a commodity instead of a living, breathing human being. i'm all for more celebrities drawing a harsh line in the sand when it comes to their personal life and their public persona. you are not obligated to their time no matter how much you feel you are. i cannot imagine becoming a practical overnight-sensation like she has the past summer. i would go absolutely insane on day three. so, why don't people turn on their dome piece and think for two seconds about how irrational and brainless it is to be upset that she "could've said :( things nicer :(" and she needs to be "more :( grateful :( otherwise :( she's not cut out :( for fame :(" liiiiike. no perhaps its you that needs to reevaluate how you treat other human beings depending on if they have the label "celebrity" over their head and go from there!

because what she said is something that's needed to be said for a long, long time regarding celebrity culture i just hate it's happening to her on such a scale that she needed to say it at all.

[whaleofatjme1920]

Task Force 141 with a Small/Flat Chested Reader

[Task Force 141 x F!Reader]

[Warnings: I mean, I talk about tits what more can you expect? It's pretty NSFW, so MINORS GET OUT.]

[AN: iykyk, yk? Anyways. Love the IBTC just bc I think that's cute and I'm in a mood to show this community love <3]

Reblogs are appreciated!

Captain John Price

I think he has a slight size kink, not too big but small tits play into it. Yes ofc he loves all tits but small tits just look so lovely to him. If you wear any bras or whatever, he's staring for the outline. The same thing if you don't wear anything, he might catch a glimpse of your nipples poking through and he likes that. Won't outright say it though.

Loves whenever you wear low necklines, like v necks, scoops, things that show off your chest.

If you wear long necklaces that dip in between? ohohoh. He can't help but stare and whisper the dirtiest things in your ear.

I think he really liked to hug you from behind and playfully rub his hands upwards from your stomach to your chest.

Isn't it cute how his whole hand can envelop them? He really likes to grope you. Especially laying in bed and he spoons you, hands come up? Boom, gotta grab the titty.

Absolutely feral over them. Any insecurities get washed away by how much he wants to touch you and how he compliments you.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

I feel like he's a huge thigh guy but your tits are pretty hot to him. Thinks they're super elegant with the way they fit in certain clothes.

He stares. He cannot stop staring. He's feel his face heat whenever you catch him and he covers it in the dorkiest ways possible.

Idk I feel like he's really,,,, silly? With the way he loves your tits. Can't really explain it but just know he's kinda silly.

I think he loves to rest his head on your chest and take naps. But he'll also start kissing just to get you flustered.

He gets pretty sad if you get sad or feel any self doubt over your tits. He really loves how they fit you and how they look once clothes come off.

He has a special love for whenever you wear cute bras or bralettes, whatever makes you happiest I guarantee he's in love with.

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

He's super immature about the way he loves your tits. Like, wolf whistles whenever you wear something a little more revealing, makes raunchy comments, it's gotta make you bashful because he thinks that's cute.

Love love loves to suck on your nipples. Like, I don't know he strikes me as a strong titty guy and small tits make him feral.

He'll bite gently because his bitemarks on your tits make him blush. Big on squeezing and generally worshipping that part of your body. And like Gaz, he just LOVES to stare.

Though I think he doesn't actually like the long necklaces? And it's not that he doesn't like that but rather he thinks they detract from your chest just a bit.

He's the world's best hype man. Feeling insecure? Societal standards telling you that you need more? No worries, he's gonna squash all of that in a heartbeat.

You ever see that one vine that was like, 'take them titties out bc I'm trying to see them?' He's,,, the embodiment of that. Good luck ever wearing a shirt for more than a few hours around him when you're relaxing together at home.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

yeah idk about you guys but I think Ghost has HUGE size kink. And to be fair, he kinda looms over everyone but your small tits really put his size kink into high gear.

He's always going to be cupping, rubbing and sucking your tits or at least dreaming about the moment he can again. Loves having you underneath him so he can watch your chest rise and fall, see every part of you but focus on your nipples especially.

He likes how you look in outfits as well, they accentuate your body and make you look gorgeous to him. Also a big fan of necklines that go low. But he also enjoys knowing he's the only man who can touch you there.

Loves when you lay on top of him to cuddle. Something about your chests pressed together is intimate and romantic to him? He wouldn't call it romantic, more like relaxing. He likes physical touch but it takes a while to get there.

Thinks aesthetically, that you're gorgeous. I think he sketches in his spare time, I can't actually remember if that was,,, confirmed or not? maybe I'm hallucinating but he sketches in his spare time and he's drawn your chest before.

He thinks you're beautiful. No part of you needs to change or bend to societal pressures. Insecurity tends to melt away when you're with him because he just... gets you. Knows what to say and how to say it in such a way that it's comforting and sweet.

[theyapper0]

PART TWO OF "DISHONORED GUESTS"

Cut to Angel and others. 

Cut. Emily and Charlie at the Aquarium.

Charlie is like OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! LOOK AT THE FISH!!!! THEY'RE SWIMING!!! ACTUALLY SWIMMING AND NOT JUST FLOATING TO THE TOP?????? AND IT IS REALLY BLUE IN HERE!!!

Charlie flips out about fish with Emily humoring her for a while until eventually Charlie asks about Sera. 

Emily says how they're sisters but Sera could be so overprotective sometimes. And not to mention controlling!!!! 

Emily says that she understands that Sera’s just looking out for her as an older sister but… she wished that she trusted her just a little bit more…

Emily is like, “I mean, look at your cuffs!! Sera doesn't even trust us to be ALONE together- trust ME to be alone with YOU!.....

Emily: No offense.

Charlie obviously doesn't take any offense to this and is also like “Wow, you're really open” 

Emily apologizes but Charlie's like “Oh no!! No! It's a GOOD thing! I'm just not used to that! Everyone at the hotel’s just uh… really closed off- it gets hard to tell what they're feeling a lot of the time.

It's nice to hear about feelings! 

Emily smiles at her, “It's nice to be listened to”

Emily sighs, …I feel like she thinks I can't handle anything… I dunno… Maybe she's right…”

Charlie is like, “What!!! No way! Your job is to make people in Heaven happy and I think you're GREAT at that! I mean, I'M happy right now and that's all because of you!”

Charlie: I… I'm sorry that we're gonna have to be against each other during the Trial…  I hope it doesn't ruin the friendship we're forming

Emily is like “No!! It'd never!! Let's not even talk about that right now!! We're gonna have to talk about it allllll night anyhow!!

Emily offers to focus on seeing as much Heaven as we can!! 

Charlie's like YEAH!!!! 

Cut. Back to Vaggie

She's telling herself to pull it together. Everything's gonna be fine… 

She looks down at the countdown on her wrist, “Just a few more hours….”

(9AM when they got there, will be leaving at 9AM of the next day. 22 HOURS LEFT ON CLOCK!! (22:26:12))

Suddenly, an Exorcist Angel (it's Lute) comes BARGING in!!! Vaggie stands up, on high alert.

Vaggie goes to grab her spear but she doesn't have it!!! DAMMIT CHARLIE!!! 

The Exorcist Angel and Vaggie start to kick the shit outta each other!!! 

The Exorcist is like, “You shouldn't be here.” while they're fighting

Vaggie says “I’m here on business with Char-!

“The Morningstar spawn, I know. She got a Trial with the Heavenly bodies but YOU…!” 

The Exorcist Angel kicks Vaggie's feet out from under her and goes to slash her with her sword, Vaggie catches the blade between the flat of her palms, she's straining to push it away as the other strains to thrust it down 

The Exorcist grunts, “Can’t be here….” 

Vaggie screams and is like, “Damnit, just quit it! I know it's you, Lute!!”

The Exorcist falters for a moment but it's all the time Vaggie needs to KICK that bitch off her and stand up 

(She knew it was her bc she could tell by the cape that was wrapped over her armor. Only Lute can wear it (bc she's the Commander. But more importantly, Vaggie could tell from the fighting style (it was exactly like her own) 

Lute gets knocked to the floor and her helmet falls off. She doesn't bother putting it back on as she stands.

Lute: You need to leave. Now.

Vaggie: I can't, trust me, I would if I could. But I'm here until the trial ends. Just-... I'm not here to start any problems, so leave me alone

Lute: ‘Not here to start any problems?’ All you've EVER done for me was MAKE problems, and now this? Do you think this trial doesn't count as stirring the pot? Do you have any idea what you and that wretched demon are doing-

Vaggie: DON'T TALK ABOUT CHARLIE LIKE THAT!’

Vaggie goes to punch her but Lute catches it easily

Lute is quiet for a moment. 

Lute: You've been banished from Heaven. You cannot be here. You're not allowed here

Lute: I don't want you here.

Vaggie stared at her, “I'm not here for you” 

Vaggie walks towards the door and Lute speaks, “What do you think people are going to say when they see you? Do you think they've forgotten what you've done?” 

Vaggie doesn't answer, she goes to open the door but Lute comes behind her and shoves it shut, “Answer me.” 

Vaggie: What I've done? You mean not kill a CHILD?!

Lute: A SINNER child! 

Vaggie: Why the fuck are you here?! Why the Hell do you even care if people see me!?

Lute doesn't answer for a moment, she follows Vaggie's question with another

Lute: Who does Charlotte think you are, Vaggie? WHAT does she think you are? 

Vaggie: Listen, I told you, I'm not here to make problems-!

Lute: What do you think she'll do to you once she finds out the truth 

Vaggie: SHUT UP! 

Vaggie screams as she throws a punch at Lute, who catches it easily

Lute: It’s my job to protect Heaven and your fallen ways put all of eternal salvation at risk

Lute: If you chose to stay the 24 hours bestowed upon you, you'll leave me no choice but to share this information 

Lute opens the door and steps through, standing in the doorframe with her back facing Vaggie, “I'm giving you the option, Vaggie. For old times sake”

Lute: Do not overlook this kindness

Lute leaves 

Cut. Back with Charlie and Emily 

They're walking and talking 

They run into Adam coming out of some shop, strangely missing the Exorcist lieutenant who always accompanies him….

Adam greets them like, “Well hello there, you two! How’ve things been? Charlie, how're you liking Heaven so far? ^^

Charlie says how it's A-MAZING!!! 

Adam laughs, “Well I'm not surprised if Emily’s the one showing you around!”

They all talk for a bit and the conversation shifts to the Trial that'll be happening in a couple hours

Charlie thanks Adam for allowing her the chance to speak with Heavenly bodies about redemption, she knew she wasn't going to exactly BUDGE on getting the opportunity but she was still grateful for him helping in making it happen. 

Adam: Heaven didn't really like that I wanted to do this but… it's only fair, right? We exist as 2 realms but we must function as one for all mortal souls

Charlie: Yeah! Exactly! I mean, especially with the Exterminations, I think it's high time to try out a different solution for-!

Adam cuts her off, suddenly extremely on edge, “HAHAHA! YEP YEP YEAH! ANYWAY!!! 

Adam: So Charlotte, have you gotten any more patrons at your hotel?! 

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

PART 4

PART 5

[ganondoodle]

you know, you could argue that totk is just "one bad game" in a series that doesnt have to mean anything for the future, and i should jsut move on and wait for the next one, and generally id agree, but these days i cannot help but feel like its the beginning of the end, so to say

we are seeing it in every type of media, be it series, games, movies, that stories that say anything are too risky so they go for generic slop instead- the recent news about pixar wanting to focus "mass appeal" (despite their reasoning being completely hypocritical?) is just yet another proof of that being a trend that doesnt seem to stop any time soon

and one of the problems that brings with it, besides just being boring, is that "generic mass appeal" stuff ... ends up turning around to repeat tired old stereotypes that often leads to really problematic framing (like even childrens cartoons featuring war somewhere in the middle east against evil arabs .. just like, as a backdrop), bc "mass appeal" in general really means "average white person able to spend money", which isnt the majority of people but its the ones who this is targeted towards and more often than not made by, and, no matter how much some people want to pretend its possible, its impossible to make anything that doesnt say anything, theres nothing non political, if they think something is non political its bc its aimed at them and they agree with it

thats what makes me so anxious about the future of the zelda franchise, bc, while its always been a problem, totk especially.. is exactly that imo, its generic and a boring good vs evil with no nuance to be found if you are in the target "mass appeal" but as soon as you arent, or know about the most widely used ways of framing, its kinda scary how clearly it turns into a white god appointed savior against the evil arabs imperialism simulator, and it might not have been intended as such, its so normalized that its considered simple and standard.. (i know i go on alot about it, and i dont mean media has to be sanitized uwu perfect and not feature anything problematic- i mean this as a critique of how its presented, it expects and wants you to agree with it, its not like a cautionary tale about serious things like some movies ARE, its a fantasy game 'aimed at kids' ..)

and if its true that they outsourced the writing for the game .. for the sequel to breath of the wild, one of their most successful games ever, then what does that mean for the future? that doesnt sound good at all

with the trends of the dominating media, and how totk turned out, i feel like we are seeing the start of a downfall into 'generic slop' that makes them more money more safely than anything more unique or interesting for the franchise like its happening with everything else that isnt indie

if all that wasnt the case i might not be so focused on it, i might be able to move on much easier, but i cant, i care deeply about it and i feel like im clawing at sand slipping into a giant garbage disposal, im not thrilled and excited for the next game like i was just a few years ago, or direct for that matter, im afraid of what they will do next, and i dont think thats good, and i dont think im the only one either, hyperfixation (special interest?) or not

[insolemi]

Cate x wheelchair user au when

—👁️‍🗨️

hii !! right now 👀??

i did this in the style of how i did my gf!cate headcanons so i hope that's what you wanted

also, i seriously hope that i did this justice, but if i didn't please let me know and i'll adjust/change it immediately

shoulder massage, shoulder massage, shoulder massage

please let her massage your shoulders if you're up for it bc she loves to do it

if you like to read, read to her !! she loves it, loves listening to your voice, loves laying in bed with you and being close to you

loves being able to trace her fingers over any freckles or moles or any feature of yours and will do it while you're sleeping bc she can't help herself, this goes well with the staring problem i mentioned in this post bc she HAS ONE

it's canon sorry not sorry (canon is what i make it)

if you like to decorate your wheelchair and/or other mobility aids in any way, please look absolutely no further than directly at your side

cate LOVES decorating anything she can get her hand on (including you, so I hope you like jewelry and clothes) and she’s got an eye for decorating (at least she thinks she does) and she has more scattered decorative items like scarves and various stickers and decorative tape rolls than she knows what to do with

will also spend a lot of time with you looking for seasonal decorations or functional ones! cupholders, bags, covers for the back of your chair

like I said in my gf!cate post, she is touchy, hand on you at all points in time

hand on your shoulder or arm or knee or hands everywhere you go bc she cannot contain the affection she has for you in her body and she must express it all times

she’s a forehead kisser too, I’m sorry I don’t make the rules but it’s the truth

don’t call her clingy unless you want to see the personification of puppy dog eyes

it kind of boils down to you being the only person she ever wants to freely touch, sans gloves, so you are always the main focus of her attention/affection

she is incredibly attentive, knows everything you like and don’t like and how you prefer to do everything bc she just pays attention to you and what you say to her and the things you don’t say

facial expressions or soft noises of disagreement are all cataloged into her mind immediately and filed away under “very important”

cate knows what it’s like to not want people touching you or your things, but if you’re okay with other people pushing your wheelchair for you (and only then), then again, look no further

cate is more than happy to help you out if your arms or tired or you straight up just don’t wanna push yourself anymore 

at first, she is sometimes worried that she’s overstepping or making you uncomfortable doing that and she will always be cognizant of wanting to respect you and your boundaries bc you don’t need her help and she knows that, she just loves making things easier for you if she can

as such, she is always making sure everywhere you two have plans to go to is accessible, she wants both of you to have as much fun as you want with zero concern and she is incredibly happy that she can do that for you

following the theme of wanting to help, she will absolutely learn any new skills that might help you out

if that’s adjusting parts of your chair when you need it done or helping you transition between spaces to make it easier on you, anything along those lines

she's there

her whole entire face lights up when she sees you bc it’s YOU !! i'm talking bright smile, wide eyes, the whole nine, you literally derail her train of thought

if there’s ever anything bothering you, she is sat

she wants to know what’s going on and why it bothers you bc she wants to know if she can help, and even if she can’t, she just wants to listen to you and hug you afterwards

she can’t cook, so i hope you can bc if you can’t, you both better have doordash on your phones bc she will set the kitchen on fire

she’s very mindful of things like your pace when you two are out and about together, she matches speed and loves using the chance to talk about anything and everything 

she is very chatty, loves to talk about random topics like time zones or space travel or the monsters inc. cinematic universe

however, she does not tolerate stupid questions from people who aren’t you and especially not about you or the both of you

not to say she’s confrontational bc she isn’t (at least overly so) but she does deflect unwanted attention easily and if a person is being rather persistent in bothering you or the both of you, she can and will use her power on them to get them to fuck off 

again, referring back to my gf post, cate loves you so much that sometimes it’s overwhelming and there is not anything in the world that could change that bc half of the time she’s doing anything, you are all she can think about and she would never have it any other way

[hoeratius]

okay, asking this question is maybe the dumbest i've ever felt bc it feels like there should be a straightforward, obvious answer here, but every time i've tried to look it up, i've found nothing but pages upon pages of what feels like people talking in circles and only serving to make me more confused in the end. since you're the most knowledgable person i follow when it comes to the Classics, i figured this might be a good place to ask and maybe get an actual answer? (that being said, it's fine if you don't want to/don't have the time to answer this! obviously!!)

where can i read about the older greek myths? as in pre-trojan war. mostly, i'm interested in theseus but also just pre-trojan war stories in general. i know not everything got the iliad/odyssey treatment and there's probably not any surviving text to point at in a lot of cases, but there must've been something. every time i try to look up where to read about the history of theseus, i'm being directed to a bunch of modern retellings, but google has gotten so bad as a search engine, i literally cannot find anything about the origins of this thing everybody's retelling

from what i understand, theseus was sort of everywhere sticking his nose in everything at all times, so i'm not asking for a comprehensive timeline of his whackass life and everything he ever appeared in or anything, but if you could point me in the direction of anything about him--actual plays or academic texts, anything like that--that's more credible than, like, a self-published, self-described "bold new reimagining" with a stock image of a dude in party city roman cosplay as the cover, it would be MUCH appreciated 😭

(again, sorry about how... basic this question is i guess lol? i'm very new to classics in general and still pretty ignorant about everything, so it's EXTREMELY likely that this is a very dumb question with a very obvious answer, but thank you regardless!)

Hello! What an exciting ask (and apologies for my excited and maybe incoherent answer)!

Since you seem to be most interested in Theseus, I’ll use him as an example but much of this can be applied to other Greek heroes/myths/stories more generally.

As you noted, few get the Iliad/Odyssey treatment. In fact, even Achilles and Odysseus don’t, considering the Iliad spans only 7 weeks or so, and the Odyssey misses out on Odysseus’s actions before and during the Trojan War, and after he came home – and he did a lot after he came home. So where to go to find all the other stories that happened?

Some things to keep in mind:

Writers assumed their audience was familiar with the hero’s greatest deeds already

The big boys – Achilles, Odysseus, Theseus, Perseus, Heracles, Oedipus – had their stories shared in many formats. Think of the Parthenon metopes, which show Theseus’s key deeds in sculpture, or vases, hymns, public performances, bedtime stories, etc. People would encounter these often enough that the outlines of these heroes’ stories were known to them from a young age.

One of the Metopes of the Parthenon, showing (probably) Athena and Theseus.

As a result, ancient texts never show the entire story; they select the moment they want to tell and focus in on that. Hence the Iliad focuses on Achilles’s wrath, the Odyssey emphasises his homecoming, and the Argonautica tells the story of the Golden Fleece. Similarly, tragedies will choose a meaningful moment: not all of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra’s struggles, but his return home in the Agamemnon, or the events that lead directly to Pentheus’s dismemberment in the Bakchai.

So finding one text that will give you a useful overview will be hard!

These heroes are often also connected to so many other famous characters, that sometimes they show up as a side character in their stories, so it depends on which stories capture your interest most.

Pre-Homeric texts are few and far between

But this is not to say there aren’t pre-Trojan-War myths!

There are loads! Anything with Heracles or Theseus is pre-Iliadic, and others, like the house of Pelops, link more to the Trojan War but are also separate from it. Plus, there is Hesiod’s Theogony (roughly contemporary with Homer), which tells of the births of the gods and goes all the way back to the start of the universe.

The Ovid situation

Many Greek texts are lost, and we’ve only got allusions to this or that part of the myth in the existing fragments, etc. etc. So how do we still know so much about so many of these stories?

Enter my fave: Ovid.

Far later than Homer (1st century versus 8th century BC), but with access to all the Greek texts and them some, he wrote a lot of fairly comprehensive stories. These include the Heroides, letters written from the perspective of female characters trying to connect to their male lovers, with letter 10 coming from Ariadne to Theseus, and Metamorphoses 8 with parts of Theseus’s story.

If you’re looking for a high-level overview of what was what in ancient myth, starting with the Metamorphoses will give you all the big boys and many of the smaller ones.

Theseus specifically:

I must admit that Theseus is not my strong suit, but sources I’m familiar with that I would recommend:

Hippolytus, by Euripides and Phaedra by Seneca: these both tell of Theseus’s second wife Phaedra falling for his son Hippolytus and causing his death

Catullus 64: A lament from Ariadne after Theseus has abandoned her on Naxos

Metamorphoses 8, 12, by Ovid: Snippets of Theseus’s life, incl the Minotaur

Ones I’m not as familiar with but might be up your street:

Life of Theseus, Plutarch: a historian/scholar’s biography. He had them in pairs, where he compared the two; Theseus is linked to Romulus

The Argonautica, Apollonius Rhodus: Follows Jason in his quest for the Golden Fleece; Theseus is one of his heroes

Oedipus at Colonnus, Sophocles: apparently Theseus is a major side character here but I don’t remember!

There is also The King must Die by Mary Renault, a modern retelling from the ‘80s that blew me away. The only book set in ancient Greece I’ve ever read that doesn’t shy away from how alien their culture and values are to us today and doesn’t try to sugarcoat things.

And if you’re looking for more heroes: Wikipedia is your friend!

The Classics-related pages are pretty reliable, and they often mention the main sources per character.  

I hope this gets you started but please do hit me up with more questions, I always love diving into these things!

[tildeathiwillwrite]

genuine qustion, bc i dont understand whump, why do you like it? whats the appeal? am i missing something?

I'm going to assume from the wording of this question that you already have an idea of what whump is, and you're asking why someone would want to read/write it, but if not here is a good post summarizing the genre.

This post is divided into two parts below the cut: the appeal of whump for me, and an explanation of why I like whump.

For me, personally, the appeal of whump comes from putting a character (whether that be an someone else's character, my original character, or a nameless whumpee) in Situations (with or without a whumper), and then having the difficult recovery or healing process (usually with a caretaker). Sometimes I deviate from this pattern, such as omitting the recovery, but that is usually my main focus.

A bit more emphasis on the comfort in hurt/comfort, but there's also hurt in the comfort.

My main love of whump stems from the tropes I enjoy:

Used as bait (where a whumpee is captured with the intent on using them to lure the caretaker into trying to rescue them in order to capture the caretaker too). I like this one because of the suspense of knowing it's a trap, and wondering if the caretaker will manage to rescue the whumpee, or get captured themselves.

Magic whump (whump but in the fantasy genre). This one gives more possibilities or twists on usual whump tropes by adding magic into the mix. Combined with my love for fantasy writing.

Captivity whump (a whumpee captured by a whumper, usually including various forms of torture). This trope is very versatile. Why were they captured? What does the whumper gain by torturing them? So many possibilities. Not to mention the rescue afterwards!

Sickfic (whumpee is sick, usually with a caretaker). Someone else mentioned this before, I don't remember who otherwise I would've linked them, but illness is something rarely seen in existing media. When a piece of media has whump, it's usually torture or a fight scene, but I've only ever seen sickness a handful of times. I like the idea of a character having all these cool abilities but still getting the common cold, especially when they have someone else to take care of them. Also it's easier to write from experience for this then, say, getting stabbed.

PTSD whump (when a character has trauma). This is more of a recovery trope. I hate it when a piece of media has a character go through an incredibly traumatizing event and then as soon as they're out, they're perfectly fine mentally. Let the character have ptsd, dammit! I don't really write this often, but when I do I love writing the nightmares in particular.

Immortal whump (with a character who, for whatever reason, cannot die). I love this one because it opens up even more possibilities for whumping. It usually depends on how the character's immortality works, but they can take a lot more damage than any other whumpee.

Realism in whump (realistic injuries, illness, and recovery). Really just a preference, as I'm studying in the medical field and already know a lot about how the human body works, so I use that knowledge and apply it to my writing. For example, fainting as portrayed in hollywood movies is a lot different from how fainting actually is. Involves a fair amount of research, but I personally think it's worth it.

(side note: I haven't really found any tropes which I strongly dislike, but out of personal preference I avoid smut and nsfw whump such as rape)

As to why I like whump? This was a tough question to answer, to properly articulate. It's fiction. And writing give me freedom to do pretty much anything to the characters and through the characters. I suppose whump is another way to exercise that creativity. "I know how the character reacts to this Situation, but what about this other Situation?"

I know some other writers use whump writing to work through their trauma, as catharsis. Props to them, but I don't write whump for that reason. I always liked putting my characters in Situations, and then a couple years ago discovered what whump was, went "that's a thing?!" and basically dove in head first.

The Tumblr whump community itself has also been very sweet and welcoming, I draw a lot of inspiration from the other writers, especially when I'm trying to figure out what to write next. I doubt I would still be writing whump if the community wasn't as welcoming, and I'm very glad it's not the case. If you go back in my archive, the first writing I started posting was whump. Nameless whump turned into oc whump, which turned into posting about my WIPs. So if the whump community gatekept me out, I probably wouldn't be posting any writing at all (and that's very sad to think about).

I hope this post was helpful to you! I can't speak for other members of the whump community, these opinions and motives are my own. If you have any more questions feel free to ask.

[neomedievalist]

its jan 20th but that doesnt mean i cant still do a games i beat overview for 2024 still. here we go, games I beat sorted by date I beat them last year

1/17: Umineko Answers Arcs

yeah so i was stalling on episode 8 for a long time and i had finally finished it in january last year. i dont think this even needs me to say anything. fucking incredible visual novel

2/29: ULTRAKILL

not technically a "beat" but i finished all of the content thats out then (aside from. the second secret boss i havent beat yet). looooooove ultrakill love this i think everyone should play it even if they dont like shooters you just have to have a requisite level of adhd that not everyone has. it has brought me so much joy. cannot wait for more content to come out

4/27: Celeste

this shit has been on my backlog for so long. it was so satisfying to finally finish it. really solid 2d platformer really enjoyed it and liked the story. im not usually a 2d platformer person i prefer 3d but it is rly tight and satisfying. admittedly i dont understand why people think it was like, life changingly good, but i can see how itwould emotionally resonate w someone and its overall a very good game

4/29: Shin megami tensei V

My eternal agony. I fuuucking hate this gaaaaame oh my goddddd the ending was so bad. i already made a seperate post complaining about it so i wont bother you but seriously the fact that the end is unchanged in vengeance is so crazy. I have 0 desire to play vengeance. The foundations have some potential but its just like. holy fuck the story is so nothing. Gameplay was fun though! although i enjoyed the tsukuyomi fight more than lucifer.

6/8: Peggle Dinners

this counts. Everyone get dinnerspilled. Its peak.

8/15: Kirby Triple Deluxe

Lowkey one of those games i just picked up on my 3ds every once in a while and then it was like wait i beat it? huh? okay then. Its a good kirby game i dont really care abt the kirby formula or anything again not rly a 2d platfrmer person but its probably good. I liked gambling for keychains

8/22: Devil May Cry 4

another one of those games that has been on the backlog for fucking ever. I do not like the missions in this game very much there was a lot of screaming in agony. but i like dante and i like nero. it had some great moments. honestly the most important thing this game did was allow me to finally start 5. I also like the catholic beast mode theme that was really fun.

9/1: Super Mario 64

Finished a 120 star run on coop so i'm counting it. had never actually beat the game before so honestly really momentous occasion. Still holds up especially if you play the pc port LMFAO. We've moved on to star road now which now that I think about I should have put on my 2025 bingo

10/13: Heaven Will Be Mine

Good ass game. I finished we know the devil late in 2023 but it took me a long time to get thru hwbm bc i wanted to give it the full attention it deserved. Really confusing as shit but really rewarding once you start learning what all the terms mean, i really love theorizing and thinking abt the implications of the worldbuilding. pluto was a real sleeper hit character for me i think at this point she might be my favourite which is crazy considering how i didnt care abt her at first. realllyyy good game.

12/27: Balatro

Yeah i got it for my birthday. cleared my first run a few days after. its a good video game just like i knew it would be. never stop gambling.

12/31: Hypnospace Outlaw

the new year's special! i'm so glad i finally finished it. it definitely is a game that people probably spend a few hours in to gawk at and then never play again. it was so rewarding to really give it my time and full focus even if it took me a long time to finish it. still thinking abt it. its real good folks. its real good.

heres to more videogames this year<3

[faejilly]

i always liked the thought that outside of the persona that he presents, magnus is terribly domestic bc he seems that he would curl up on a couch with his lover and just be yk? like i bet that he has had relationships that were just sex and partying but i bet if he was given a choice he would choose to spend the evening in and watching a movie

Quite possibly.

I do think that Magnus, (much like Alec in fact, if in a slightly different way), is very good at giving anyone he is with the experience that they most want.

He enjoys performing, whether he is highlighting or subverting expectations, I believe he loves putting on a show and he is perfectly capable of tailoring that show to his audience. Part of this is survival, part of this is avoiding conflict, part of this is politics, but it seems clear he does actually also like it or he wouldn't have chosen such an extravagant persona (or bothered with all the necessary closet space to hold his wardrobe 😅).

He likes planning parties which is a different skill-set than just attending them after all. He wants to create an environment, set the stage, organize the comforts and attractions and entertainment and etc.

Magnus does in fact also enjoy people. He likes parties and dancing and afternoon tea and anything else that gives him that jolt of interaction and appreciation. He does seem to legitimately be an extrovert who feels recharged after social interaction; especially if he knows he's the one who made it a good experience for everyone involved. (Or a bad one, if he's intimidating people. There's some pride involved, I think, in knowing he can have whatever effect he wants, regardless of what anyone else is expecting.)

He is much better at grand gestures of devotion and friendship (and money and power) because that ties back into him being in control of his interactions and his vulnerabilities and other people's expectations.

So I don't think he dislikes being a party person, or his extravagant High Warlock persona, or that he was at all unsatisfied with whirlwind dramatic relationships full of parties and dancing and shows and travel. Those are all things he can do, and do well, and gets a kick out of.

However satisfying it is to do the things you're good at, and know that you're sweeping someone else along with something they enjoy, I do think sometimes he hid himself within those extravagances; avoided smaller intimacies of domestic chores and quietly reading on opposite sides of the couch, etc. because then he'd have to share control, which is terrifying when you're as aware as he is of all the ways an intimate friend or partner can (purposefully or not) betray or hurt you.

He offers the high life because he can, and once upon a time he couldn't, and most people enjoy it and are impressed by it. HOWEVER, I do agree that that's not really the point for him, and sometimes it was definitely another layer of armor between his bruised heart and the world.

All he needs from a partner is their attention. (I know the love languages book is nonsense, but, it will be a useful framework for my rambling, so! Let's imagine it's not.) I think his personal love language is simply quality time. Someone who wants to be with him, regardless of time or place or consequences or conveniences, who doesn't just want his money or magic, but will not flinch from those parts of him either. Who may not need him to take care of them, but won't push him away when he does anyway.

Which is of course exactly what Alec offers with his single-minded focus and devotion to the partner he's chosen, and which most of us cannot do to at all the same extent. (Which is why Alec feels vaguely useless to Magnus most of the time, because everyone else he's ever known or loved has required his actions not just his presence, and is also why Magnus cannot understand that insecurity at all, because no one else has ever just looked at Magnus without all the trappings and been enraptured.)

But! Back to the original premise.

Alec is not an extrovert and hates putting on a show and does not trust large crowds of people to avoid being stupid, so in fact once they are together I do believe they are usually very quietly domestic at home, because the setting, for Magnus, is incidental to the fact that they're spending time together, so he is perfectly content making sure Alec is comfortable wherever they are, and that they have that quiet time together reasonably often.

(I do think Magnus and Alec spend a lot of time in physical contact, cuddling or hand-holding or working on similar projects in shared space, because Alec's love language is very clearly physical touch. He is more than capable of showing his love and care to people in their own languages, time or gifts or words or service, but all he really needs is for the people he's worried about to be close enough to hold onto.)

[thisdreamplace]

hello 🍁 non again! Haha!

I wanted to talk about nondual and realizing your beyond words sentances and labels.. and wanted to know what you thought of thus

I feel like people tend to overcomplicate or even telling people to mediate for several hours and even take substances to achieve this ego death..but truly we are always aware and meditating , we are meditating right now , I feel my fingers touching the iPad… i see the letters typing one by one.. or people are even too harsh on others , we’ve been bound by the “ego for so so long” but realizing the ego is just as scared as you are , using the resources it’s using , you start to give yourself grace and to slowly let go and go, it takes a while to surrender but truly , it’s worth it. Taoism and no dual pair very well together , you are all there every is you are no-thing , everything and all. You are love in its purest form , you are the silence between moments , you are the laughter in sunny days. You are the cry we always needed. You are always being perfectly guided, everything you go through is for a reason. that’s what I do..example the break up between me and my ex was so hard , I was able to cry but realizing I’m ,being guided , helped, ofcourse I cried , ofcourse I was sad and you need to process your emotions with love , no matter how long it takes your being perfectly guided in your journey always. from that breakup I made so many friends and found myself and I, forever greatful ofcourse I’m so sad it’s over , but maybe it had to happen.

I think the best to know and start disconnecting with conceptual labels is to realize you are not bound to anything , you can label yourself however , because your beyond.. labels are created by us , we created all these concepts because we enjoy putting things in boxes, I don’t even go by a name , or even a gender , sexuality because I disconnect myself with labels , bc I don’t need them at all..not because I’m too good for them , but forever and ever realizing that all of these are concepts you can disconnect from them and let go and trust “god” you are the purest form of love , your kindness incarnated into a psychical form.

it takes so much grace , you done need to do anything except realize your true beauty , love is always the way , once you realize you are simply love but yet so unique and beautifully created and labels cannot even imagine and begin to describe your ever so beautiful soul. You will find peace

You will still cry , get upset and go through grief. But it gives you grace , I am being guided but it’s okay to still be hurt. You are beautiful

I hope I phrased this right , love 🍁

hiiii my 🍁 anon~ everytime i read a message from you now i'm really happy. your expression is so beautiful!

i think your understanding of everything is so wonderful, and its fully on point. all of those things are true, and even more your willingness to allow and let go, truly is what keeps you moving forward. your willingless to trust, is truly admirable. and its important in all of this. we have to be willing to take control, by giving it up. if youre not new here, you know that this world works in paradoxes, and its always the most simple and even opposite things, that truly are what brings in magic

i love everything you said!! because we are so beyond all of these things that we believe ourselves to be, that we choose to be trapped by. sometimes i see those who wonder why nothing ever works for them, but they have never been willing to let go of all they have believed themselves to be, down to the way society sees them and down to the way they even see themselves.

it truly does take grace and patience, and you are right when you say we just need to focus on love, on the truth within us. we dont need to do anything else. it took me a long time to realize i dont truly need to heal from anything. if i just focus on love, i naturally begin to heal. no more making sure im this way or that way before i'm perfect or ready. just realizing love now, and choosing it now, in each moment that i can, is truly enough. love is always enough

thank you so much for sharing these lovely words and thoughts <3

[lepertamar]

lurkfriend: kjorel, feeling destroyed when people are super different to him: /J

silkycoal:

Ah, but there is the irony, isn't it? "I assume: to see."

At the expense of everything else. Infinite sights traded for one other, albeit one available by no other means. The public and the private switched: what has become of her eyes visible to all and yet knowable only to those who also have given up their sight to the pyre indicated within. Or without? God is not anywhere in particular, God alone has no body, but God is here, in her eyes. Because They chose this too—God! How ever could anyone be so sure in Their own beauty to demand such a price for seeing it!

lurkfriend: YEAH

lurkfriend: "how could anyone ever be so sure in Their own beauty" [thinking abt tesena]

silkycoal: YEAH BOY

silkycoal: This is making him dizzy but perhaps that is as it should be, if he can capture this feeling in a painting then he will have captured the experience of seeing her, such that all others who see the painting may see her too. He, a Seafarer, meant to convey images from one place to the next—

silkycoal: and ofc he never ASKS

'the only way to try to understand this is to paint and convey this mystery to other regular ppl' [COPING]

lurkfriend: painting is such a fucking. coping mechanism for him. i wonder if it'sl ike. eurgh kjorel is so like, sight/experienced based, like back to his thing abt melting into e.g. shadows if he sees them, becoming one with the world type of thing....

if he externalises that i wonder if he sees it as something "outside of himself" something that he can adopt freely if he chooses to, vs. something threatening because it says something more about what he is

silkycoal: yeah i bet!

silkycoal: his very sight-experiential thing has similarities to stalking-era tamar except tamar's curiosity about what she doesn't know overrides any need or worry to explain or justify or force it into a framework while kjorel is like using 90% of his operating system to try [and fail] to prevent himself from knowing anything new

lurkfriend: YEAH

lurkfriend: kjorel is very foucsed on defending himself.... or his sense of self... it's sort of why hmmm i think of kjorel as a sort of "void"? like a Lackness. not that he's lacking anything, he's full of himself! but he is the void, esp. with the focus on shadows in particular, somewhere were light can't reach (REALLY funny w tesena as a counterpart). anything that could be "in him" is seen as an attack on him on an ontological level...

silkycoal: yessssssssssssssss

lurkfriend: but kjorel as a black hole, in the sense that black holes are "greedy for light" and trap it in them.... tesena who wants to be trapped in that way, who wants to light up that which cannot be lit up...

silkycoal: kjorel is afraid light will destroy him rather than outline and fill him like a bl

YEAH

his skin as the event horizon.....unnnghhhhgghhhhhh so delicious

lurkfriend: YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!! YOU GET ME

silkycoal: and yeah part of how different he is from tamar is i think bc tamar is much more like…..Reacts To g-d’s fire and heat, in a very volatile and violent way yes, but you can see that she preconsciously had an embodied self-understanding of being something that exists. that Is Here. (not just the gap where nothing else has eclipsed it yet.)

lurkfriend: but kjorel becomes so…. idk if perceptible is the right word… he's not just melting into the shadows, he is commanding and so full of himself, bc as you say "outlined"… he has that gravitas

silkycoal: kjorel starts out very smooth, i mean colloquially in personality mainly, he's so slick and suave and socially adept, but also smooth in a slippery way

lurkfriend: oh god yeaH

lurkfriend: i thnk thats part of why i liked his breakdown? like yeah smoothboy get fucking. stuck in all the goddamn complexes. good luck being so smooth and 'easy'

silkycoal: nothing is allowed to snag or stick

YEAH

IT WAS SO FUN NGFDEGHHFFDHN

lurkfriend: YEAH everything had to roll off him. he didn't allow anything to affect him, he was always the one in ~control~ and the master of the chessboard.... and seeing that reversed and him fucking struggling drowning in tesena's tears was like. hell yeah

silkycoal: ....it's incredibly funny how he refers to yenatru in his mind as a boy more often than a man, when not only is he like 3 years younger than yenatru, he's 17 which is BARELY adult in sehhinah hgfghvgg, and he definitely socially vibes himself as older than 17, partly i think in a good way of 'askannite seafaring has a really good way of letting kids grow up, compared to the much more childified teenager context implied in ennuh' but i'm sure for kjorel it's MOSTLY an independencymaxxing 

[riderofblackdragons]

Promises (Still Mean Something To Me)

Day 29: Fatigue | labyrinth | burnout | "who said you could rest?"

Alright, so I have decided that since I'm still pretty far behind, I'm just going to post these when I write them, lol. I mean, not day 31 yet, because it's not the 31st, but every other day I haven't gotten to yet? Fair game imo!

This is star wars, it's also an alternate universe where the Jedi won, but uhhhh... I did not go much further into that. Just know that that's why they're partying lol. It was originally going to be a Crosshair fic but Fox calls to my inner insecurities and angst so much more!

My mutual made a post that mentioned how second POV is the most initmate, and it inspired me to write one. Hence, we get this! I love writing second POV, I should do it move often tbh.

I did reach pretty far into my own insecurities and shit for this, so it's never getting reread by me ever again bc holy hells i feel exhausted after writing it.

Still, hope you enjoy!

You don't know why you're here. All these loud noises, echoing around the room - you can't remember how you got here, either. You're not bothered, and it feels wrong, but you don't know why. Something bright enters your vision and you flinch back - oh. It wasn't even that close.

There are others here, all sharing the same face. Your face. You don't know if you can claim it anymore, not with everything that's happened to it. You barely recognise yourself, these days. You think they called to you, to join them, but you can't hear anything through the faint ringing in your ears. There is noise, but it won't register, and all you want to do now is run.

But you promised you'd stay. At least for an hour. Who did you promise it to? Thoughts of white and red and gold enter your mind, but they won't focus enough to tell you. Your mind won't complete a thought, but you don't worry about it.

Someone pushes past you from behind. You stagger forward, just a little, barely noticing the momentum. They move further through the crowd, but you stay where you are, pinning your gaze onto their back. You watch the crowd swallow them up, but don't bother to try too hard to follow them.

Your prescence wouldn't be welcome anyways, you know. You've known this for so long. No one really wants to be around you, not anymore. Maybe it was different, once, but it had been so long since then. The memories had faded, and been replaced in your mind by the grimaces and scowls and yells and insults that are all you know now.

You miss the happier times, but you do not remember them. The others around you tell stories, and you listen, but you do not remember them in the way they do. It is only through their stories that you know of them at all, and you feature so infrequently in the stories that it is possible they never happened for you.

There are so few people that will talk to you, now.

On your wrist, you have a chrono. You check the time, and see that barely a quarter hour has passed. If not for your word, the only scraps of honour you have left, and the promise you made (to who did you make it to?), you would have left already.

(Does a promise truly bind, if you cannot remember to whom you gave it? You cannot recall when you made it, perhaps the other is dead now. Will it still count then? Does your word still bind you, if you are the only one left?

There is no red here, other than on you. Are you the only one left, of you and yours?)

You have never really liked parties. You stay anyways.

Tag List: @captain-effy @what-the-fuckis-happening @robininthelabyrinth