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gin-juice-tonic · 4 months ago

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So, for Starters: Book Of Bill Spoilers warning. Another opinion from me below. This new one is about the lost journal pages again, of course.

Originally, I wanted to make a super big crazy essay about all the reasons I think the journal pages in BOB (The Book of Bill’s given name) are fake, and show off my super-cool totally completely sound deductive reasoning techniques in the process.

Unfortunately, knowing myself I’m not sure I’m actually capable of accomplishing such a feat. You all know how I tend to post things in parts, sometimes out of order, often never finished. However I would like to share something in particular that’s been eating at me that I’ve seen… partially discussed, but only partially. And certainly not the part that I would like to discuss.

It’s about the rats.

You know, the rats.

I saw these rats being talked about since before I was even able to have a look at the book myself.

But before I get further into it all, I would like to start off with a joke:

Why did dead rats, eggnog, a land orca, shrimp colors, It’s a Small World After All, and an Anti-Cipherite Suit cross the road?

Well, that’s easy. To get to the other side.

Of the book, that is.

If you’re anything like me, you probably skipped right to the journal pages upon contact with the book. And if you’re even MORE like me, you were probably left a little confounded by them. Not only did they seem… wrong somehow. But they also felt random. Full of odd choices of subject that didn’t make a lot of sense. Could these pages really have come from journal 3? If so, why do parts of them feel so… completely out of context?

And this is where the rats come in. As I mentioned before, I saw many people discussing them. In particular, they were noting a connection to this passage from earlier in the book:

Many of the related discussions also felt odd to me. Though I lacked the knowledge to be able to articulate why at the time. UNTIL, I read the book for myself from start to finish. That's when I realized something: This is not the only time something from earlier in the book connects back to the journal pages. In fact, it happens many, many times throughout the earlier passages. (Here is a small collection of them for your perusal.)

And then it started clicking into place. The reasons the pages felt like they were so abnormally out of context… is because they WERE lacking context!

Now, before you can finish saying “Gin, you’re an idiot.” I would like you to ponder these three questions:

1) Why, if these pages were taken from Journal 3, should they require context from outside of it to be able to be completely understood?

2) Why is it that this context can be found in what Bill Cipher has been writing in the preceding passages up till now?

3) If you put food in a mogwai’s mouth at midnight EST but drive it over the CST time zone line back to 11PM before it can swallow, will it still transform into a gremlin?

Okay, you caught me, that third one is unrelated. But the first two I believe require further thinking. So let’s delve a little further into the idea. Consider this the real third question:

3) Are we to seriously believe that these, the only pages of J3 still lost to us, just so happen to tie into the new topics from the rest of the Book of Bill over and over like this?

And since you’ve done so well thinking thus far, I’ll ask a fourth question:

4) Are you aware of the concepts of Watsonian and Doyalist analysis?

Assuming you don’t and you won’t google it, I’ll skip to the important part. Watsonian analysis is to analyze a story from within it, as if you yourself were Watson making deductions in a Sherlock Holmes novel.

Now, from a Watsonian point of view, what happens when we try to answer our earlier questions? Why should it be that the Book of Bill provides so many of these points of reference to the journal pages?

One possible line of thought could be that Bill wrote the earlier passages of his book *around* the idea of what was contained in the pages, but I think this doesn’t work for a few reasons. For one thing, the purpose of the book is to get the reader to make a deal, not to take a whole novel to set the stage for a 3 day mini Ford adventure. For another, not all of what I described prior is really fit to be called “context”, is it? The rats, the “Small World” cassette, and the Bill-Suit are one thing, but Eggnog? Shrimp colors? Land Orcas? I certainly wouldn’t define them that way. If anything, they’d be better suited to being called “references”. And unlike the more contextual ideas, there’d be no real need for Bill to sneak mere references to the pages into his grand story. And lastly, there are a great deal of Bill pages that have nothing to do with the content in the journal pages at all.

So what exactly am I trying to say here?

If we do intend to think of the callbacks outlined above as references, the only logical conclusion within the story is that the journal pages themselves are referencing back to the Book of Bill, not the other way around.

But… how? And why? Something Ford has written in the 80’s shouldn't be able to reference something Bill is writing post-weirdmageddon certainly.

That’s because “Ford” isn’t referencing it at all!

And as for why… Well, have you ever noticed when you're writing a story on the fly, things you wrote earlier all come crashing back to you as you try to wrap things up? I believe personally that the journal pages are not pages actually written by Ford, but more a strange endcap on Bill’s crazy train of thought! That Bill is the one writing them, and the "references" are just fuel that further the pages creation. Almost as if, to quote someone much more knowledgeable than me on this subject…

(This single paragraph has been inserted a good deal after the original writing of this post.) I would like to clarify, I am not trying to claim the ideas presented in the pages have no basis in reality whatsoever. Ultimately, what I'm saying is I think Bill wrote them, and they should be taken with suspicion instead of as complete fact. "Did this event happen exactly this way?", "Does some of this feel distorted?", "Did this part even happen at all?" I think those are questions worth examining with the events detailed on these pages.

In the end, all I've described above (as well as other aspects of the pages I've not mentioned here) leave me with the impression the pages are not real.

As I stated only a bit earlier, the idea that these pages, the only pages of J3 purported to be lost, should be so connected to the rest of the book is beyond coincidence to me. Not to mention that in order to take these pages as total truth, you must give credence to several other passages of Bill's book as well. And I'm not too keen on having to trust him that much.

To all who have read this far, even to those who may have scoffed at the ideas in here or think I've only written up nonsense. Thank you for reading and considering my thoughts.

I am not saying anyone must agree with me on this. I know some people have found the pages to be important and meaningful to them, and I do not wish to give the impression that I think my view is the end all be all correct one, or that I think lesser of those who believe them to be Ford's own writings. I only want to share my own thoughts on them. And to anyone else who found the pages to feel "off" somehow, possibly validate their feelings too.

#long post #the longest post #book of bill spoilers #the book of bill spoilers #for real this time #rat #rats #(those are warning tags)#gin discusses cartoons #bob investigations #this one can stay in the discussion tag bc i particularly like the way i wrote this one

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crucialplayer · 1 year ago

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Thoughts on Mars placements

!! everything is based purely on my experiences with signs, written with no other purpose than to share my observations and be unserious.

Aries mars. Practical jokes lovers, gentle touch haters. Hit u while laughing. Love the banter, sometimes a lil too much. Go for it (whatever it is) fiercely and without a single backthought. Explosive in conflict, but in a sense of crying screaming throwing up banging against the wall.

Taurus mars. Life could be on Mars but they still be going on and on about that one thing. Sudden outbursts of anger. It might seem out of the blue but they’ve probably been brooding some hurt for a long time. They just hoped it’d go away… naturally. Also surprisingly horny.

Gemini mars. Mind fuckers. That one guy defending polygamy «as a concept» rather too enthusiastically. Can talk their way out of hell with one leg already in the hottest boiling cauldron. I suppose it’s a placement most people will find charming at some point (says a lot about society…).

Cancer mars. Rumors are true, the sky is blue, and they are manipulative. Watching anybody else display vulnerability is the same as watching a children’s play to them. Ur rawest and most disturbing moment? To a cancer mars its a chill Tuesday morning. Humanization of a silent treatment.

Leo mars. You’d gather that its serious by the sheer scale of their reaction but I promise its not. 9 times out of 10 will cause a huge scene and won't be able to remember it 2 days after. Very defensive. Won't put themselves out there if they’re not guaranteed a 10-minute standing ovation.

Virgo mars. They believe that they make sense but usually they don't. They’re calculating but it’s like they do it backwards resulting in some of the most unhinged decisions made. Want to be praised for… um… existing as they are. Kind of a menace in conflict.

Libra mars. If u think it's hard for you to wait for them to make up their mind imagine how they feel. It’s similar to watching a plant move without a time-lapse. Cry when they’re angry. Go with the flow not because they’re chill but more cause it's easier for them.

Scorpio mars. They ARE vengeance and I'm scared. Slash 3 tires after one fight mars. Not the person you’d try to make jokingly jealous. For further information read the lyrics to… really any Taylor Swift song.

Sagittarius mars. Don't think before they do and think after they’ve done smth only if u make them. The kind of people that will try everything once just to know how it feels (and then present that to everyone as if they’ve found god by bungee jumping one time). Very easy to dare. Also are always checking someone out.

Capricorn mars. Blood is cold, the heart is beating twice per minute. ISN’T IT lonely on top of the world fellas??? If u get them to like u your love language better not be words of affirmation. Instead of arguing chances are high they disappear for a while or just go into a rock regime.

Aquarius mars. Are only attracted to intellectuals so naturally in a room full of sweet gentle people will go for the most narcissistic motherfucker out there. They’re sorta very patient but I feel maybe it's just them dissociating… Ponder a lot before making a move.

Pisces mars. I'm afraid no one knows whats going on there. It's like they’re never actually present. Therefore often times can have a delayed reaction to smth, which people might read as passive aggression. Very sentimental, will write u a song or a poem on a second date. Also low LOW energy.

#astro notes #astro observations #natal chart #mars placements #aries mars #taurus mars #gemini mars #cancer mars #leo mars #virgo mars #libra mars #scorpio mars #sagittarius mars #capricorn mars #aquarius mars #pisces mars #zodiac signs

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elllisaaa · 3 months ago

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fjhkvdhfvd I LOVE YOUR BF THOUGHTS SO MUCH!!! you write them so well 😭😭😭 can we please get a vernon one!!! ahhh

thank youuu so much ! i'm really glad this concept gets attention because i really like doing this, hope you'll like it !

BF!VERNON who's maybe not the most expressive but who knows how to show you that he loves you through many other ways.

vernon says "i love you" without any words, and actually, you love it that way a lot. for example, whenever you recommend a song to him or when he sees you listening to something he doesn't know, he's gonna go listen to it too. you have a shared playlist and he also made you a playlist filled with songs that reminded him of you, and the lyrics or vibes sometimes hit so deep it makes you tear up how much he gets you. this is something recurring between you and vernon - the non-verbal communication. you can literally spend hours and hours with each other without even speaking because you don't need words to understand each other. that's something vernon loves a lot because sometimes he just wants to hold you in his arms, scroll on his phone and not talk at all. both of you often have stay at home dates rather than going out, but vernon always makes sure to plan a fun activity - like building legos, trying to learn how to paint or doing scrapbooking with pics of the two of you. it allows you to test some activities you wouldn't usually have and it's fun when it's with him.

"what are we doing tonight baby ?" - "it's a secret, but i know you're gonna love it."

he stares at you a lot whenever you're doing mundane things - washing the dishes, simply reading or when you're putting on makeup. it's so domestic, it makes his heart beat faster and think about marrying you soon. vernon also does this when you're talking with someone else, staring at you because he just loves to see you live and shine. he always has a faint smile on his lips when he's watching you, and generally, he smiles a lot around you. that's something his members quickly noticed, even before the two of you got together. and you never fail to tell him that you love his smile, and that flusters him every time. actually, every one of your compliments makes him shy. however, he often flusters you very easily with some random words or gestures and gifts that make you fall in love with him even more. vernon is the type to just look you in the eyes and bluntly tell you that you're gorgeous just because it crossed his mind suddenly how pretty you are.

"why are you looking at me like that ? is there something wrong with my makeup ?" - "you're so pretty, i don't understand how it's possible."

if sometimes vernon just wants to stay quiet and not say a word, there are other times where the two of you end up talking for hours, jumping from subject to subject because one of you always has something to tell, something to debate about. when you are talking together, it's like you're inside of a little bubble where only you and vernon exist and you love it. that leads to the both of you having so many inside jokes that nobody gets - you're laughing like maniacs when everyone else around you is just confused and doesn't understand anything. honestly, sometimes your couple looks a little awkward from the outside, but it all fits perfectly and the way you're just so right for him is something vernon still has trouble understanding. sometimes, when he thinks that he doesn't deserve you, that he thinks he doesn't do enough to make you happy, you need to remind him that he's been perfect from the start. you can count the times you saw vernon crying with your fingers, but he knows that every time he's down, he can just let go in your embrace and let himself be vulnerable.

"i feel so safe when you're here, i don't ever want you to leave."

BF!VERNON who's just going with the flow because as long as he's inside of you, it doesn't matter if he's in control or not.

he's much more talkative when it comes to sex because he just cannot shut up when you're doing so good for him. whether it's praises, just some random thoughts, babbling or degrading words, he needs to speak to you through it. when he wants to tease you, he whispers his dirty words directly in your ears, knowing how much it turns you on. when he's just so lost in how good you feel, he just says whatever is on his mind - mostly compliments and swear words. when he's in a more romantic mood, he's constantly praising you, telling you again and again that you're perfect and gorgeous. and vernon also likes it when you're talking to him too, loves to hear you say how good he's making you feel, that you're close or that you want more. generally, the noises you make are really appreciated, even going as far as stopping you from putting your hand over your mouth when you think you're too loud because vernon wants to hear it all.

"shit… you're taking me so well, baby, i don't think i'm going to last if you keep squeezing around my cock like that."

just like vernon loves doing new activities with you, he also loves to experiment in the bedroom. you want to test something ? he's down. you have an unusual fantasy that you want to try ? no problem. after all, there's no harm in doing something out of the ordinary - if you both like it, it's good, and if you don't in the end, then it's okay too, you just won't do it again. that's how he discovered some things he didn't think he would like but that slowly became his favorites, like hair pulling for example. you ask him to pull on your hair all the time when he's taking you from behind, and he loves to do it to punish you too, but he came to wonder how it would feel if you pulled on his instead. so he asked, you did it, and he never wanted you to stop. no matter if he's eating you out or fucking you, vernon wants your fingers tugging on his strands hard enough to make it hurt a little. sometimes, you're pulling at each other's hair, moaning together at the feeling.

"want me to pull on your cute ponytail ? then pull on my hair too, yeah ? fuck, just like that…"

as stated before, he loves to watch you do almost anything, but he loves to watch you get off even more. when you're fucking, he cannot detach his eyes from your glistening folds, from his cock thrusting inside of you or from your face contorting in pleasure. so sometimes, he just leans back and asks you to touch yourself for him. he knows you're frustrated because he's just one feet away and he won't touch you, but he can't help it, he loves to see you masturbate. the fact that you whine about how your fingers cannot reach as deep as his, and that it's not fair gets him so hard. if vernon is in a teasing mood, he will even jerk off in front of you, just to make it "even". the feeling of cumming together, eyes in eyes, while you're both touching yourselves is unmatched for him. also a lot of phone sex is involved, whenever he's away, he calls you at night and asks you to facetime him and show him your cunt, to touch yourself in front of the camera for him. sometimes, he's jerking off too, but sometimes he only watches you reach your orgasm while biting his lips.

"show me your pretty cunt, baby. you're needy ? then put one finger in for me."

#eli answering your questions #eli's anonie #seventeen x reader #seventeen #seventeen smut #seventeen hard hours #seventeen hard thoughts #vernon #vernon x reader #vernon smut #vernon hard hours #vernon hard thoughts #chwe hansol #hansol x reader #hansol smut #hansol hard hours #hansol hard thoughts

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ameifyy · 3 months ago

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UZI DOORMAN X FEM READER HCS

— tw : none! :3

She wears a lot of rings. She has one specific finger that she puts rings on that remind her of you, like for example, if your favorite color was yellow, she'd have a yellow ring on.

Pet names for you are Princess, Babe, Baby, and Gorgeous.

She likes kissing your shoulders a lot, if you're sensitive to it she does it more often just because she loves seeing your reactions

VERY flirty. She's honestly kinda good at it too. Sending little winks and blowing kisses at you, making goofy jokes

Awkward kisser at first, but she's really good at it once she actually learns

If you're taller than her (which you most likely are), she has to get on her tippy toes to give you kisses and stuff. Sometimes she's bored by the concept of getting on her tip toes and will just jump into your arms though

She's an over-thinker, not a lot but she is. Like to where she needs reassurance but not constantly. She just wants to make sure you still love her, and aren't annoyed by her attitude and personality.

She's kinda clingy, attached to you every chance she gets. Her love language is quality time, so obviously she enjoys spending as much time with you as possible.

She spends a lot of time at your place, especially when you're busy with stuff. It's basically a second home at this point. If you're just laying in bed on your phone or whatever, she's most definitely laying on your chest watching you.

She likes dressing you up in her style, even if you two are the exact opposite. She also likes matching with you! You two have matching hair clips and bracelets.

NSFW WARNING BELOW CUT

(I need 2 get freaky w her so bad.)

She's a switch, but mostly the dominant one. When she is the submissive one, she takes it GOOD.

She's really loud, do not do anything with her unless you're completely alone. Covering her mouth won't do much.

She likes breasts a lot, I don't really know why I have this headcanon, I just feel it in my bones. Do not wear a low cut shirt around her unless you're looking for the pounding of your life.

When she's on the receiving end, she holds your hand during it. Not tightly, just enough to where you know she isn't letting go.

She curses a lot during it, especially if she's the dominant one. Pounding into your ass with a strap-on, letting out a string of curses as she gets closer to finishing.

Most definitely used the solver on you at least once. Won't elaborate, let your mind run wild

If you're desperate for it, she will occasionally make you beg for it. It turns her on, and overall just makes her giggle.

She's really good with her fingers, and she can multitask. Watching one of her pirated animes while fingering you as you sit in her lap.

She LOVES it when you ride her strap-on, she thinks it's the hottest thing ever. Head thrown back, body shaking from the pleasure.

She likes challenging you, not breaking your limits but seeing how much you can take in small amounts. No matter what, she doesn't want to hurt you. So she won't do it much.

Mainly whimpers, loud moans, and occasionally loud groans will come out of her.

She likes getting eaten out, the grip on your head WILL be tight. Not enough to hurt.

She's a quick learner, she catches on to what turns you on and off really quickly.

She can last about 2-4 rounds, depending on how horny she was.

She's somewhat flat chested, only an A cup. She's slightly into nipple play

When everything is finally taken care of, she'll get you to help clean up and then snuggle up against you, listening to your heart/core beating.

Thank you for reading my literal MESS of lesbianism. I need her so bad

#x reader #x reader fanfiction #uzi doorman #murder drones uzi #reader x uzi doorman #md uzi #uzi doorman x reader #uzi x reader #uzi #murder drones #murder drones x reader #md x reader #fanfiction #fanfic

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physalian · 4 months ago

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How to Make your Writing Less Stiff 4

Let’s keep this train rollin’! This time less down to line edits and more overall scope of your narrative

Part 3

1. Foreshadowing

Nothing quite like the catharsis of accurately predicting where something’s going to go. It doesn’t have to be a huge plot twist or a character death, it can (and should) be little things that reward your audience for paying attention. Double points if it adds to rewatch/re-readability.

Example: In The Dark Knight, this exchange happens:

Harvey: “You’ve known Rachel all her life.”

Alfred: “Oh, not yet, Sir.”

You won’t think anything of it on your first watch. Alfred is just making a witty joke that throws Harvey off. Watch the movie again, when Rachel dies, and it becomes some incredibly dark foreshadowing. Turns out Alfred has, actually, known Rachel all her life.

2. Chekhov’s Gun

Chekhov’s Gun is a narrative concept where a seemingly inconsequential element introduced at some point in the narrative (a gun) must “fire” by the end of the narrative. Sometimes this element leaves audiences uneasy or anxious, because they know something bad must come of it. Sometimes they think nothing of it until it’s about to fire and you get a one-two punch of the realization that it’s about to hit, and then the impact of the hit. It helps create tension, and tension is incredibly important (if you want a whole post of my take on it, lmk).

It also helps your narrative look more cohesive, where nothing is left on the table. Your set-ups and payoffs leave no threads dangling.

3. Repetition

The Rule of threes can apply on a micro and macro scale. I like doing lists of adjectives in threes, (e.g. My cat is soft, fluffy, and adorable) because the cadence and the flow of three is something we’re familiar with in spoken language. We like three supporting examples for an argument. Any less doesn’t feel strong enough, any more feels like you’re trying too hard. This is not a rule it’s a suggestion.

On a grander scale, you can look at the script of Curse of the Black Pearl for a masterclass in macro rules of three, like three parlays. Doing this helps your narrative look more cohesive and like every detail is thoroughly interwoven and nothing is coincidence. Your audience will get to the third instance and mimic that DiCaprio pointing meme—they will absolutely notice.

4. Motifs

Motifs as well, beyond threes, help. Colors are a huge one. For example every time you mention the color purple, you could attach it to an emotion, or a character, or an important plot beat, like how leitmotifs work for character themes in movies and TV shows.

Obvious examples in film are like lightsaber colors or dressing up the good guys in white and the bad guys in black. I did this whole post about color in fiction.

It’s a lot of other things too. Weather elements and times of day, or specific inconsequential objects popping up over and over again, like birds, or litter, fallen leaves, clothing items. Whenever the narrative mentions them, the author is trying to clue you in on some subtext within that scene.

—

My new novel is here!!! Do you like supernatural fantasy? How about queer vampires? How about acespec characters? Then Eternal Night of the Northern Sky is for you!

#writing #writing advice #writing a book #writing resources #writing tips #writing tools #writeblr #foreshadowing #chekhov's gun #motifs

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barblaz-arts · 3 months ago

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Stephanie Beatrice had played my 3 favorite characters (Rosa Mirabel and Vaggie) and since I watched Encanto and B99 I have my head canon that Vaggie have both Rosa and Mirabel personalities.

Any way, I just want to know what is your head canon or theory about her? ( specifically about Lute calling her weak and why the other exorcist hate her)

Since she is your girl, I would love to read your essay about her.(I’m joking you don’t have to write that much I just like to read your post)

Thank you

"My girl"... Am I just "that one artist who's the biggest Vaggie stan" to you guys? (I won't mind it!)

Oh man! I do have some ideas! A lot of my headcanons were already kinda sorta mentioned in my fic/art tho, so sorry if you're not getting a lot of new info

- I have this headcanon that Vaggie's always been "softer" than the other Exorcists, which is what I assume Lute meant when she said she "always knew [Vaggie] was weak". I know it probably has more to do with how little time each episode has, but what if Lute was so ready, already behind Vaggie when she let that kid go, because she knew this wasn't the first time Vaggie spared a sinner? Maybe that was just the first time Lute actually caught her. Maybe she's always had her suspicions, when Vaggie's kill count would lower every year, and she'd sometimes find Vaggie saying a sinner got away somehow despite cornering that demon moments ago.

- although she's gotten used enough to her lack of depth perception when it comes to her hand eye coordination, especially when fighting, i like to think her reading ability could never truly go back to the way it used to be, so she has trouble reading/ writing/texting (if you notice, i always showed instances of this in my fic ;> )But because she's the hotel manager she still has to deal with them because of paperwork and shit, so she has prescription glasses that help. I'd wanted to include a scene in the First Guest where Vaggie almost cries after seeing Charlie thru the glasses for the first time, because she didn't think Charlie could be any more beautiful, but i scrapped the idea because I couldn't expand the concept enough to an actual scene that could be relevant to the overall fic. I probably should have just mentioned it in a paragraph or something, but by the time i remembered id already posted the chapter I intended to add it in. Maybe I'll use it for another fic.

- she prefers femme clothing so she doesn't really have a reason to do this, but she learned how to do all kinds of ties so that she could do Charlie's whenever

- she grew her hair to compensate for her lost wings

- she wasn't exactly a great cook before she Fell, but she was pretty capable when she lived alone in Heaven. Cooking for Charlie tho gave her the motivation to get better and actually enjoy it

- an angel trait that she could never truly abandon is being a stickler for rules. She's very strict on everyone and herself with these things, within reason. So even when she and Charlie started dating, she insisted that they can't sleep together until they've had their third date. When they're on the clock, they have to be professional and avoid flirtatious advances in front of staff and guests. Charlie didn't mind because she prefers privacy too.

- Vaggie's physical appearance slightly changed gradually the longer she stayed in hell. As an angel, her sclera was paler, her incisors duller, and her skin grayer. But as time passed, her sclera got more and more peach/pink, fangs sharper, and skin more purple toned

- i still like to think that Vaggie's old backstory back when only the pilot was out (having died in 2014 in her early twenties who worked as a sex worker in El Salvador) was still true. Maybe it's just because I've liked Chaggie since pilot, and I've grown really attached to that backstory. I also just really don't want Vaggie to be Heavenborn for some reason. Among the cast she just seems the most grounded to reality to me, so having her revealed to have never been human and born "divine" just doesn't seem right to me. I also just think it'd be cute and funny if it turns out she's chronologically the youngest in the hotel even tho she's basically everyone's strict not-mom.

- idgaf what Adam says, I wanna think that "Vaggie" is short for "Evangeline". I used to have these 2 coworkers in their late 50's to 60's who had Evangeline as their government name, but one of them goes by "Vanj" and the other "Vajee". Being older Filipino women who aren't really too fluent in English, they never thought there was anything wrong with that when they grew up with their nicknames. I like to think that the case was the same if Vaggie used to be human. I'm not sure how common English is in El Salvador, but I'm willing to bet it's possible she could have been given that nickname as a kid by an older family member who didn't know a lot of English. Also Evangeline makes more sense to have been the name of an angel cmon now...

#asks #hazbin hotel #i love any excuse to talk about vaggie

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teddybeartoji · 7 months ago

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thinking a lot of thoughts about bf!gojo :(

he will be the sweetest bf ever.. it's a bit concerning with how attached he is to you, bordering on codependency but he just cant help it he loves you too much :(( everytime youre both together on something like lunch with friends or hanging out the sight of you two is enough to give anyone who spares a glance cavities.. his eyes are so in love and hes always got that dopey smile on his face, his touch is always gentle and caring despite him being a teasing asshole sometimes 😭

and behind closed doors ... dear god this man is INSATIABLE.. always has to have a hand around you and touching you !!!! and his sex drive.. erm.. yeah.. idk i see him as the type to want to do it everyday because he just loves you too much and he doesnt know what to do with himself and all this love he has !!!! theres something sweet about him just always wanting you and wanting to make you feel good eufnhffhehrjfnf

the stark difference between you two being such a sweet couple in public but also .. having seen each other INSIDE OUT quite literally is so hot and cute.. :( that level of intimacy .. :((( BF!GOJO WE NEED YOU !!!!!! ok this has gotten too long im sorry HAVE A GOOD DAY THANK YOU

HIIII MY SWEETHEART I'M SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!!! BUT I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M HERE!!!!! I'M HERE AND I'M FEELING TERRIBLY SOFT FOR HIM AND I NEED TO HAVE HIM IN MY ARMS RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!!!! i agree with everything you've said nonnie!!!! and i am covering you in kisses as thanks!!!! mwah mwah mwah!!!! wait also!!!!!!!!!!!! more exclamation marks!!!!!! please please please don't apologize for rambling!!!!!!!!!! i will always hear you out!!!!! i want more actually!!!!!!!!!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok everybody get comfortable bc i have some of bf!gojo headcanons for you!!!!

his pupils are literal hearts whenever he's with and whenever he's Thinking about you!!!! (i'm saying that his pupils are always like that)(he is simply unable to get you off his head)(he's not even trying)(he's so fucking in love with you).

he's constantly resting his head on your head or on your shoulder. this just came to me. he wraps his hands around your middle and he always gives you a squeeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a kiss on your neck. and he probably (read: definitely) smells you. and then hums into your skin. omfg i need to hug him so badly. i am losing my mind here nonnie...

okay and i just talked abt him taking naps with you too, right? and i just can't stop thinking about him always taking pics of you whenever you fall asleep on top of him:(((((((((((((( drooling or not, he's taking the pic!!!!!! AND i truly believe that he has begged (literally begged down on his hands and knees) shoko and suguru, so that they'll take pics of the two of you together aswell!!! satoru has a folder with like a THOUSAND pics of you both just napping together:((( he goes through it whenever he's really missing you:(((((((

ok and he loves taking showers and baths with you. loves, loves, loves. he just wants to sit under or in the water with you, just feeling your skin against him. feeling your heartbeat against him. he likes the intimacy of it all. it's so tender and so soft and so loving and he just wants to do everything with you. he's gonna take a fucking piss with you if you'd only let him.

he loves your smile sm. this is such a basic little concept but he does. nothing else in this sick world brings him as much joy as your smile and laughter. and oh my fucking god his heart feels like it's going to explode whenever he makes you laugh (which is all the time let's be honest he's very fucking funny and he is not afraid of making himself look like a fool just for you<3). he loves it when you laugh at cat videos, he loves it when you laugh at whatever the fuck is playing on the tv and he loves it when you laugh at a joke one of his friends make!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he goes a little insane whenever he sees you having fun with his friends:((((((((((((((((((((( it just means the world to him:(((( and you and the younger ones too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omfg when he sees you coddling gumi and yuuji and nobara:((((((((((((((((( stop, he literally feels like he's going to cry every time i am also crying i can't do this anymore

btw he always swings your hands whenever his fingers are interwiened with yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhh!!!!!!! and he has that big dopey smile on his lips again and his dimples are showing and he's laughing so loudly that everybody is turning to look at you both on the street but you couldn't care any less!!!!!!! how could you when your boyfriend is making your heart grow twice the size it was before and you just feel so giddy and so full of love and you want to kiss him stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he loves spending his morning with you. i actually think of him as more of a morning person actually idk how popular that concept is but yeah. don't get me wrong - he refuses to let you up from the bed for at least an hour after you wake up but he does have a lot of energy. he wants to kiss and he wants to hug and he wants to tickle and he wants you to play with his hair and he wants and he wants and he wants and you will give and give and give!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's a little lovesick puppy and he needs your attention like he needs air!!!!!

and then he wants you to brush his teeth for him. yes. you read that right. he sits you down onto the bathroom counter and bares his teeth at you like the puppy that he is and HE'S SO FUCKING CUTEEEEEE FUCKKKK CUTENESS AGGRESSION IS SO REAL I NEED TO JUST SQUEEZE HIM A LITTLE AAAAAAAAAAA I NEED TO PINCH HIS CHEEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!! he still looks sleepy and his smile is so fucking big and his hands are resting on your hips, his thumbs are drawing hearts into your skin. and he most definitely kisses you before he actually rinses his mouth.............. and then laughs when the toothpaste gets all over you. it's a mess and he's laughing and you're in love.

he loves it when you baby him. he does ask for it as a joke but when you genuinely do it he gets a little flustered. the tips of his ears always turn into a shade of dark pink and he's looking at you like puss in boots. you know what i'm talking abt. big eyes, fluttering eyelashes - he loves you so fucking much. he loves it when you tuck him in bed, he loves it when you kiss his nose, he loves it when you pinch his cheeks i am biased i just said i want to do that don't look at me, he loves it when you tickle him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT STOP HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU TICKLE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! HE WANTS YOU TO STRADDLE HIM AND TICKLE THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF HIM HE WANTS TO LAUGH WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i died

he also loves it when you cling to him. in any way. hands around his neck, around his body, around his arms - it does not matter. he wants you to quite literally climb him like a tree. he loves it when you snuggle into him and when you refuse to let him go. and when you hold his hand and try to stop him from leaving. he's not going to go. it doesn't take a lot for him to give into you. he's folding immediately. he doesn't want to go either. he loves it when you're needy. he loves it when you whine. he loves it when you tease him. he might pop a boner. at everything you do. he just loves you sooooooooooo muchh!!

18+ HE IS INSATIABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS THEE LOVERBOY!!!!!! i think he does like to get a taste of you every single day, no matter whether it's actually having sex or it's eating you out or it's just making out or it's entertaining you with his beautiful slender fingers or it's dry humping etcetcetc. he wants to touch you, he wants to feel you - it's a must!!

i already said it but he loves intimacy!!!! like yeah ofc he likes his freaky sex as much as the next guy (he most definitely likes it more than the next guy) but he loooooves when he can just be in the moment with you!! he's always savouring you - holding your hand when his burying his dick deep inside you, he's snaking his arm around your body as he grinds into you from behind. he's licking and nipping at your skin because he just can't get enough of you. he's sucking on your tongue, he's pressing your hips down against his, he's kissing every fucking inch of your body. i truly think he wants to eat you and he wants to devour you and he wants to merge the two of you together forever<33

okay i have officially melted away... i am a puddle of love Goo... ily nonnie

#WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #HE'S SOOOO SWEET:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((#I AM FEELING SOOOOO SOFT ABT HIM RN:(((((((((((((#MY BABY MY LOVE MY DEAREST OF THEM ALL #ok didn't mean to make that rhyme but go off ig #i luv him i luv him i luv him #i want to kiss him i want to cuddle him i want to live with him i want to spend every second of my life with him i'm fine #mickey is daydreaming #angel boy #gojo satoru #gojo satoru headcanons #gojo headcanons #gojo fluff #bf!gojo

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weebsinstash · 7 months ago

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I've been having a lot of FOOD based ideas for Alastor recently, because cooking and eating in general can actually be VERY personal, intimate things, so here's a bunch of concepts all at once

- I keep thinking of ideas where Reader's hotel room is set up like a studio apartment and you have your own little kitchen in there and ideas stemming from that where Alastor likes to pop in and see what youre cooking and, semi occasionally give critique you didnt ask for but is sometimes actually super helpful

You know, I've had a whole "hotel having group meals" thing and I just picture there are specific nights or times where everyone has the option to gather for some home cooked food, but Alastor refuses to participate because Lucifer is the one cooking, so he's wandering the Hotel until he smells something absolutely delicious, and he finds you cooking in your room, and him visiting you starts becoming a regular thing. He just suddenly appears two feet behind you without warning, "SO! What's for eatin' tonight?" with his Cheshire grin while you give a startled shriek and he potentially has to keep you from spilling or breaking whatever you're holding

- I've been learning how to cook more things and, since it's, you know, LEARNING, I have to look up and double check a lot of stuff, which I use my cellphone for, and I can imagine Alastor HAAAAATING this. You're telling me you've got this intelligent, distinguished gentleman chef right next to you and his nosey ass peeks over your shoulder to see you Voogling "how to cook rice"???? You'd rather use that blasted device than ask your deer friend? He'd be kind of offended actually. Just one of those things that makes him click his tongue at you and pat your head like you're so pitifully helpless, how are you EVER going to be able to care for yourself if you overly rely on tech so much? Guess he'll just have to use this as an excuse to become a mentor to you--

- so, you know, I'm gonna come right out and say I have some, vaguely disordered eating habits, and I can just picture Alastor having some uh, feelings about if his dear Reader wasn't eating properly. Like, this is a Louisiana man from the deep south who's probably grown up on all kinds of soul food and delicious but soooo unhealthy meals where the focus is really more on if it fills your tummy and tastes good, so like... imagine he's been dining with you and getting closer to you and he pops in on you one day, "hey hon, what's for lunch today?" in his typical joking self and you're just like, "oh actually I'm on a diet so I'm fasting right now :)". Pandemonium.

Like literally, Alastor is deriving so much comfort and entertainment from your food and getting to spend time with you and even just chat with you while you cook even of he isn't hungry, and one day he hears your stomach growl and he asks you when you ate last and "oh I had a breakfast sandwich yesterday morning" and you act like that's totally normal that you're standing there borderline salivating from hunger and he can HEAR your tummy growling and you're just "oh my gosh I'm so happy I've been losing so much weight! This new diet is really working for me ^^"

- honestly I keep thinking of. Alastor with a BBW or just plus sized person in general and he loves how big and soft and cuddly you are and you bake all kinds of delicious treats and snacks to spoil him with and he gives you hugs like he did with Mimzy so you can really SQUEEZE his lanky scarecrow ass up against your plush body, BUT I also see him in this scenario personally detesting when you start dieting, because in this scenario you're basically becoming kind of orthorexic, fasting, limiting what foods you eat and how much, eating foods with very little caloric value in high amounts. He can't share meals with you anymore. You don't cook the foods he likes anymore. You're becoming obsessed with diet and exercise but you're not even consuming the right combination of nutrients to properly and healthily lose weight and build muscle so you're just, slowly becoming weaker and more malnourished like LITERALLY becoming significantly more unhealthy trying to diet than what you were doing before

I just picture it gets to the point where Alastor literally forces you to eat. I'm talking you're bound in a chair, he's sitting across from you, and there's a hearty meaty bowl of stew in his hands as he raises a spoonful up to your mouth. You're crying and whimpering over how this will make you gain weight and being forced to take bites and, something about this meat tastes a little unusual as Alastor starts talking about, "lovely ladies such as yourself need more iron in their diet to stay healthy"

- I know I keep thinking of Alastor cannibalism ideas in a horror context but I've also thought about Reader CONSENSUALLY engaging in cannibalism. Like. Alastor comes to visit you one day and he can tell something has happened to you. It's all over your face: dour expression, dead eyes, low voice, just more withdrawn. You're cooking some kind of meat in a way he would consider almost experimental, as if you're not used to preparing this dish before, dont know how to season or flavor it. I think he would be able to tell by the smell what it is but I like to picture he's in peaceful ignorance until you quietly set down a plate in front of him and one for yourself as you take a seat with him and you just, quietly glance from him and the food and start talking,

"I, uh... was drinking with a friend of mine, a male friend... JUST a friend, and, I, I thought he was really nice, and, funny, and, I caught him trying to put something in my drink, so," and you look up at Alastor after you finish chewing a bite,

"Does he taste overcooked to you?"

And Alastor just gets this BIG smile, ears twitching happily, so thrilled for multiple multiple reasons, "oh hon, he tastes DIVINE, you really outdid yourself❤️❤️❤️"

- I will say though an idea I keep coming back to actually involves Rosie! You've been cooking with Alastor for weeks and, one day he shows up with company! I think it would actually be quite flattering at first: Alastor brought a friend to eat with you? And she's like, an important person? So... you're friends then? He likes you enough to bring his buddies around and introduce you? And of course, Rosie is an absolute delight, loves your cooking, loves your jokes, adores you, tries to chatter and pry all kinds of juicy details and gossip out of you, just a friendly chatty Cathy

Unbeknownst to you, some of the meat Alastor occasionally provides has been different types of Sinner Demons and one day Rosie comes to stop by where you're staying and, you're absolutely hysterical, in a rage, and Rosie has to ask Alastor, "oh, what's wrong? What's with all the tears, hon?"

"She doesn't like eating Hector."

"But she LOVES eating Hector! She loves how all his cartilage and fat cooks down!"

"She :) may or may not have been aware she was eating Hector"

"ALASTOR >:("

But Rosie is also too attached with you at this point so, you know, they'll ""apologize"" for not informing you you've been eating like entire fucking people, but, they're not uh, they're not gonna stop coming around. Like can you picture they come to visit you days later like it's nothing and you don't come to the door and they "invite themselves in" (alastor may or may not have copied your key, not that he needs to but it's more formal than using his magic to break in) and your fridge and pantry have been completely cleared out of every single ingredient and cooked meal, like you couldn't trust a single fucking thing, not even the bouillon cubes, and they find all your lovingly cooked meals that the two cannibals loved to eat with you, rotting in a garbage can outside. Not that they're gonna dig shit out of the trash or anything but like imagine them BEING ANNOYED that you've wasted perfectly good food. Not just your money, but, sweetie, all your hard work :'(

- also, final one. Circling back to the "you cook in your hotel room but sometimes Lucifer serves group meals" idea, imagine Alastor eventually really does something to piss you off and, he's coming to join you for dinner and there's already other people there, the whole Hotel actually, INCLUDING Lucifer. And I just. Oooo I picture the jealousy, like EXTREME JEALOUSY where you're turning and asking Lucifer how to do certain things and teach you and you just seem so much more COMFORTABLE around the tiny devil over the cannibal and Alastor is grinding his teeth while you're talking, "Alastor doesn't like tea so, I guess you and I get to have all this sweet tea I made for ourselves" and Lucifer just, "oh gosh, I'd never pass up on something YOU made. I've been having a lot of fun teaching you stuff and cooking more! You could even call us," *looks DIRECTLY at Alastor* "best friends >:)"

ALASTOR GRINDING HIS TEETH TO DUST, stalking up to the two of you, twisting and snapping his neck to tower over Lucifer, "may I SPEAK with you PRIVATELY for a moment" and Lucifer just, "uhhhhhh, no? I'm helping her finish food for everyone" and then the little fallen angel turns his head towards you, "oh no, don't cut that like that, you might hurt yourself!" And he slides up next to you on a stool or uses his wings and, he's MUCH touchier than Alastor so the stag is like VISIBLY UPSET as Lucifer gently puts his own hands over yours, "here, place your fingers like this and cut in this motion--" AND WHAT'S THE WORST IS YOU DON'T SEEM TO MIND LUCIFER TOUCHING YOU, like. Alastor is about to start full blown tantruming on a room full of people. Charlie is inviting him to come and sit down while Husker knows the Radio Demon well enough to see he's about to pop a blood vessel and prompt excuses himself from the room to avoid what will surely become a physical altercation

God forbid, Lucifer says some shit like, "you know, your cooking reminds me a lot like my third wife's" and you're just "oh, you got married a third time???" And here's the Devil, SHAMELESSLY "oh, not yet ;)"

Yeah, I'd say a pretty big fight would break out after that

#yandere x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #Lucifer x reader #hh #sinprompts #yandere stuff

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innuendostudios · 8 months ago

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youtube

new video about Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy, and how everyone* keeps getting them wrong! this video is sponsored by Nebula, a place where you can watch the original version of this video before I had to tweak it for YouTube's copyright bots. (by clicking that link, you can get an annual subscription for 40% off.) or you can just back me on Patreon, which is also cool and good.

transcript below the cut.

I adore Edgar Wright’s Cornetto Trilogy. I flirted with making a video about it ages ago, had a draft of a script, but ultimately decided it wasn’t about anything except “here’s a thing I like, and here are its (I thought) very obvious themes.” So I shelved it. But, in the years since, I have seen multiple video essayists on this here website claim that these movies are about growing up and taking responsibility. (I say “multiple.” It’s not a lot. But it’s more than one! And that’s enough.)

These people are 100% wrong.

Lemme lay it out: the Cornetto Trilogy is not about growing up. It is not about taking responsibility. It is the exact opposite, and that’s not subtext. It is three movies about stunted manchildren thrust into extraordinary circumstances, and each, in the end, is saved - is redeemed - by abandoning his character arc and failing to grow or change. It is a three-part love letter to immaturity.

And I guess I have to set the record straight.

Sometimes making a video about a thing you love is an act of appreciation. And sometimes it’s out of spite.

The Cornetto Trilogy is three movies: Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End. All three are written by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright; Pegg stars, and Wright directs; all three center on a relationship between Pegg and real-life best friend Nick Frost, which makes each film a reunion of the core team behind Spaced (excepting, but for a small role in Shaun of the Dead, Jessica Hynes). The three films span three genres: zombie apocalypse, buddy cop, alien invasion; each features a Cornetto ice cream cone: strawberry to represent blood, original blue to represent the police, and mint to represent little green men; this is a joking nod to Krzysztof Kieślowski’s Trois Couleur films, Bleu, Blanc, and Rouge, which were based on the colors and themes of the French flag (I don’t care what you say, Emily: #TeamRouge); that nod is funny because Trois Couleur is high-art drama and these are comedies. All three are parodies of, tributes to, and actually surprisingly good executions of their respective genres. And the hook, the gag at the center of all these movies, is that Simon Pegg plays a character wholly unsuited to be starring in this kind of film.

Shaun, the burnout, is the wrong person to survive the zombie apocalypse; by-the-book British bobby Nicholas is the wrong person to lead an American-style bombastic actioner; and alcoholic asshole Gary is the last person to save the world from aliens.

And I think that’s where people get stuck. Because “schlub finds himself protagonist of a genre film” is the elevator pitch for like a dozen Adam Sandler movies. The genre trappings may be as mundane as parenthood or mandated anger management classes, or as high-concept as action movie, whodunnit, or time travel It’s a Wonderful Life if Clarence were Christopher Walken as the angel of death (that… that makes it sound good, it’s not, don’t see Click; leave Frank Capra alone, Adam). But all these movies have the same basic shape: an extraordinary situation forces a guy to confront his shortcomings, which always stem from having never grown up. And you probably haven’t seen all of these movies, but if you’ve seen any, I bet you have assumptions about how the rest end: even though “Adam Sandler acts like a child” is generally the selling point of an Adam Sandler movie, they all end with some lip service toward becoming an adult: hey man, grow up a bit; appreciate your family a little more; square your shoulders; clean your room. This is so standard, it was parodied mercilessly in Funny People.

And this was a formative microgenre for my generation! Whole universe turns itself upside down to teach some shitty dude to, like, do the dishes and pay his wife a compliment now and then - Liar Liar, Bruce and Evan Almighty (all directed by the same guy, by the way). So I don’t blame people of a certain age for seeing the first act of Shaun of the Dead and thinking “I know where this is going.” And when, at the last minute, it swerves and goes someplace else, you could read that as a gag, a final subversion of expectation, still the same basic shape. But no! No! Once is a gag - thrice??? Thrice is a thematic statement!

So lemme make my case. I’ma take you through these movies one by one - we’ll talk about the manchildren and the expectations set by the genre, and then we’ll talk about that last-minute swerve and what it means. And then you’ll tell me I’m right and apologize!

Shaun of the Dead:

Shaun is a man in his twenties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the slacker.

What is his problem? He needs to sort his life out. Shaun doesn’t know how to take action. He hasn’t advanced since college - he’s been working the kind of job a teen takes over the summer for like a decade, lives with the same best friend, has the same petty fights with his stepdad, goes to the same pub every week with the same group of people. He can’t make a reservation, he can’t manage a calendar, he’s a washup. This makes his girlfriend, Liz, feel stifled, trapped; he is a weight around her ankle, taking her on the same date week after week, keeping her from living her own dreams, having her own adventures. She gives him one last chance to prove he can sort his life out, and he blows it, and she dumps him.

And then: a zombie movie happens.

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: to survive, and save his loved ones, he’ll have to take action, make plans, be decisive. This is a common fantasy: when you feel ground down by the mundanity of life, you might imagine, oh, if only a crisis would happen, like a zombie virus outbreak, where my normal-life problems like “am I gonna make rent,” “is my girl gonna take me back,” “is my roommate gonna kick out my stoner buddy who’s crashing on the couch” become meaningless, and it’s immediately clear what’s really important, what matters. Then I’d know exactly what to do. It’s why disaster movies work as escapism: a necromantic plague - or at least the fantasy of one - is sometime preferable to normal life.

Hot Fuzz:

Nicholas is a man in his thirties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the hall monitor.

What is his problem? He can’t switch off. He is a hypercompetant police officer with a rulebook where his brain should be. He’s so good at being a cop that he’s spotting and unraveling crimes even on his day off. He can’t maintain a relationship, has no friends, all his coworkers hate him because he keeps finishing their work for them, and his stats show up the rest of the force so badly that they scuttle him out to the country.

Now you might be thinking, “Mmm. A fastidious police officer who can’t have fun? How is that a manchild? Sounds pretty grown-up to me. You’re reaching, bud.” Ohhhh ho ho, smartass, do you remember this scene? [bar scene] Yeah! Nicholas Angel has a five-year-old’s notion of law and order. He’s still playing cops and robbers.

And that’s a problem, because then: an action movie happens.

It doesn’t happen all at once: he goes out to the country and finds they do things a bit differently there. They are (ostensibly) less concerned with rules than what than the rules are for: if the purpose of drinking laws is to keep the streets safe and orderly, and letting some people off with a warning or allowing kids drink so long as they do it inside achieves that end, the rule can be bent. That’s a judgment grown-ups can make; I mean, they’re the ones who wrote the rules in the first place. So be lenient with shoplifters, don’t hassle people for speeding; this isn’t the Big City, you can use your better judgment. But Nicholas never got past doing whatever Mom & Dad said; obedience, and trusting whoever’s up the chain, is his entire moral framework. He can’t accept that bending the law could be more righteous than following it.

But also maybe there’s a criminal conspiracy murdering people and writing it off as accidents and the police chief might be in on it. Or maybe Nicholas is so desperate for a big case with no moral ambiguity that he’s seeing things where they aren’t.

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: either there’s nothing going on and he needs to chill out about procedure, or the department is corrupt and he’ll have to go rogue like it’s Point Break - and this is how he experiences Point Break. [“paperwork”]

No matter what, he’ll have to bend the rules, which he constitutionally cannot do.

The World’s End:

Gary is a man in his forties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the delinquent.

What’s his problem? Pfffft. What isn’t his problem? Gary is a manipulative, narcissistic, lying, self-destructive, ignorant, violent, thieving, shit-talking, unapologetic asshole who peaked in high school when being all those things was still kind of badass. The greatest night of his life was the drunken pub crawl after graduation he and his friends didn’t even finish, and he’s been tumbling downhill ever since. He’s spent his life ruining everyone who knows him until there’s no one left to ruin but Gary King. So now it’s time to bully the old gang into going back home with him to relive that night by finishing the pub crawl, because, in his own words, it’s all he’s got. And he and his friends have to confront how home has changed since they left - the bars have gentrified, not everyone recognizes them; the defining, epic deeds of Gary’s youth have been forgotten. You can’t actually go back because that place doesn’t exist anymore.

And then: a sci-fi movie happens.

Turns out the town’s been taken over by aliens, and all the people who couldn’t conform to their new order have been replaced with robots! That’s why no one recognizes them! And that’s why the pubs all look the same: the aliens are homogenizing everything! And it’s clear, if they can’t get Gary and his friends to play ball, they’ll roboticize them as well! The obvious move is to get the hell out of town, but Gary keeps inventing excuses to stay and finish the pub crawl, and they sound pretty sensible because the group’s already five pints in. The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: sooner or later he’s gonna have to give up on recapturing his youth and do what’s best for him and his friends now, even if it means running back to the city where all his problems live.

So there we have it: the characters cross the threshold into an unfamiliar world where an external conflict cannot be addressed without resolving the tension within. The slacker will have to get his shit sorted, the hall monitor will have to break the rules, and the delinquent will have to do what’s good for him. And, to an extent, all three know this! The movies Wright and Pegg pay homage to exist in these stories - Shaun knows what a zombie is, Danny keeps Nicholas up watching Point Break and Bad Boys II, and Gary and friends know bodysnatcher movies so well they have philosophical debates with the robots about whether “robot” is the PC term.

So, yeah, if you turned the movies off there, I could forgive you for thinking that’s where they’re headed. But you goofballs watched them to the end and then made content about them, what is wrong with you???

What actually happens in the second halves of these movies?

Shaun twigs that he’s in a zombie movie and, at first, tries to play the part - his survival plans are miniature hero’s journeys with him as protagonist, wherein he’ll save the day by neatly confronting all his flaws. He’ll resolve parental conflict by saving his mom from his zombified stepdad, resolve romantic conflict by showing his girl he can come through when it counts, and resolve internal conflict by being a man who saves the day. And all his plans suck! It’s just the same plan he always comes up with! Dragging around the same useless liability of a bestie, collecting the same group of people, and holing up in the same pub! He doesn’t save his mom: his stepdad apologizes, resolving their conflict for him, and then survives in zombie form but Shaun’s mom gets killed; most of the friend group gets killed because the crisis does not actually suspend but in fact amplifies their personal grievances; and he doesn’t save the day, just manages not to die long enough for the military to show up.

But… well, Liz wanted adventure and now she’s had enough for a lifetime, so… she’s down to just be boring with him for a while - sit on the couch, watch TV, hit the pub. Beats running for your life. Tensions with the roommate are gone cuz roommate died, but rent is covered cuz Liz moved in. Zombies don’t get eradicated, just folded into normal life, so Shaun can mindlessly play video games with his bestie forever, and it’s not a problem that bestie doesn’t have an income cuz he doesn’t need food or shelter.

The zombie apocalypse doesn’t make Shaun sort his life out, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

When Nicholas discovers that, yes, there is definitely a murderous criminal conspiracy inside the police department, he recognizes the only way to bring about justice is to become what Danny has always wanted and go Dirty Harry on the town. It’s either that or just swallow the crimes. But he does neither. He and Danny go on an epic shooting spree, recreating famous movie scenes, taking out the entire criminal organization against all odds, and spouting badass one-liners… but everyone who helps them is a cop, they don’t actually kill anyone, all perps are formally arrested, and they fill out all the paperwork. I think he even properly signs out the weapons. He never switches off, never breaks a rule, does absolutely everything by the book, only… louder. And this violent showdown saves him from the chill town with lax rules he thought he’d moved to. Now he, with his five-year-old notion of right and wrong, is in charge of the police department.

The buddy cop actioner doesn’t make Nicholas bend the rules, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

Gary knows exactly how a movie of this sort is supposed to go and spends the whole movie running from it. Friends and secondary characters keep sharing these poignant moments with him, because they know this story, too: yeah, he’s gonna reject help at first, but sooner or later he’ll hit rock bottom and then someone will get through to him. And, as the night goes on, and the characters get drunker and drunker, and Gary passes up more and more opportunities to abandon the pub crawl and go home, these moments take a tone of desperation. They start to sound more like interventions; like, Gary, we all know you’re going to come to your senses but could you hurry up with it??? How many of your friends need to literally die for you to shape up? Are you gonna get them all killed?

And the answer is: Gary will never shape up! To Gary the Human Dril Tweet, his friends trying to save him, psychiatrists trying to treat him, and aliens trying to assimilate him are all the same thing. He doggedly makes it to the end of the pub crawl and confronts the alien overlord who tells him all the technological advancements of the past few decades - all the efficiency and homogenization that’ve changed the face of his home town - are their doing. The Information Age is an intervention on behalf of Earth, a pan-galactic effort to save humanity from itself. And the reason they’ve been replacing people with robots is some people are too fucked up to go along with it.

And here’s Gary, King of the Fuckups, brashly declaring that fucking up is what makes us human. There is no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life. We are endowed by our creator with the right to be drunken, ornery pieces of shit.

He tells the aliens to piss off and he’s so fucking annoying that they do, and they take the Information Age with them.

Now… I know… ugh… I know a lot of people love this movie, say it’s the best of the three. Some friends who’ve struggled with mental health or just being an adult under late capitalism really identify with Gary, and the valorization of being a mess. I see you, you’re not wrong, I get it, I really do. But can we just… not “but” but “also” can we… can we also admit that this ending is… this is Space Brexit.

Like, literally it’s an alien invasion but symbolically this is Gary rejecting the adult world of rules and authority and doing what’s best for the community and that’s how Brexiters view the EU. And people keep telling him “Gary, this is in your best interest” and Gary says, I don’t want my best interest! I am registered in the anti-Gary’s Face Party and I will cast my vote by cutting my nose! I choose to do what’s bad for me.

And, like a true Brexiter, he chooses for everybody.

Now tell me that’s a movie about growing up. Gary collapses human civilization in its entirety rather than change, and in the world that follows, he thrives… by being an immature, irresponsible bag of garbage.

To Wright and Pegg, growing up is death, and these are movies about being alive. These characters don’t cross the threshold back into the ordinary world with the ultimate boon of character growth; all three stay in the extraordinary world. The zombies remain, the robots remain, Nicholas is offered his London job back and chooses to stay in the country. These are stories about normal life spontaneously turning into a genre film, and they are made with deep love for those genres; why would they end with leaving those genres behind? Because it’s what Adam Sandler would do?

So there you have it. I rest my case.

“Okay Ian. Why does this matter?”

…what was that?

“You’ve made your point: these movies aren’t about growing up or taking responsibility. So what?”

Uhhhh.

“Bring it home for us.”

…

“Why do you care so much?

[breath]

I wrote the first draft of this script when I was around Shaun and Nicholas’ age, and “so what?” is why I shelved it. Now I’m Gary’s age, this video’s been in the back of my brain the whole time, but I got this far and “so what” is where I got stuck, again. This is why the CO-VIDs came out quicker, cuz I let myself end with “so that’s interesting!” and got on with my life. But there’s clearly something sticky here, more than “someone is wrong on the internet.” (Also, to the YouTubers I’m vaguebooking, who said these were movies about growing up - I’m way more annoyed at the folks I’ve argued with on Twitter about this, you just made a better rhetorical device; you do not owe me an apology!) (Also, to the commentariat: I am not extrapolating this from like two data points, this is chronic and recurring and has been bothering me for years.)

There are a few directions I could take this to give it some “cultural weight.” I could put on my social justice hat and talk about how the “crisis of adulthood” doesn’t play as broad comedy unless you look like Adam Sandler or Simon Pegg, or put on my class analysis hat and talk about how signifiers of adulthood are, traditionally, ways of spending and accruing capital which are, today, often inaccessible to people under 40.

And that’s all legit, but here’s the real deal: I’m just mad at Gary. The world changed around Shaun such that he could stay a child. And Nicholas ended up somewhere he could stay a child. If you missed that, you’re wrong, but whatever. But to say that Gary grew up grinds me, because Gary chose this. The whole movie is people telling him to grow up, and he says no! He says it out loud! He says it to the literal end of the world. To walk out of the theater and say “that’s a movie about growing up” is more than a mistake, it’s a refusal. It’s trying to “fix” the movie by fitting it into a more familiar shape, so it doesn’t say what it says, so Gary isn’t who he is, who he chooses to be.

I’m being cheeky when I say this because he’s a fictional character, but saying Gary grew up is enabling.

Gary says there’s no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life, which is the problem with alcoholics and libertarians: it’s not just your life, Gary! You live in a community, a culture, and an ecosystem! Your actions - everybody’s actions - impact other people! That’s just the way the world is! You can’t shit yourself at the bar without other people having to smell it. We’re all fuckin’ connected, man! You don’t want anyone’s will imposed on you; you spend the whole movie imposing your will on everyone else! You say humans don’t wanna be told what to do, and then you decide humanity’s future by yourself with no input or consent from anyone!

People point to Gary ordering water in the last scene instead of beer as evidence that he got sober, like that’s proof that he did grow up in the end, which are you fucking joking??? Getting sober is a shorthand for maturity the way buying a house is, it doesn’t signify anything in and of itself! Gary drank to escape the adult world of rules and responsibilities! So, yeah, under normal circumstances getting sober would mean he’s made peace with that world and is ready to integrate. But that’s not what happened! The thing he was escaping doesn’t exist anymore! He literally destroyed it!! People died! Probably millions! Now he lives a happy life LARPing as Omega Doom - no I don’t expect you to catch that reference! He doesn’t need to drink! He is literally reliving the best day of his life forever. And even if it did mean personal growth, the idea that a person could make what would be, unequivocally, the most selfish decision in human history, and then spend his life celebrating the outcome, oh but if he overcame a personal demon in the process then on balance that’s maturity? That is lightspeed solipsism! Who are you if you think that way? Are you all Adam Sandler???

And none of that makes this a bad ending, or Gary a bad character. I mean, he is the reason The World’s End is my least favorite, and I don’t like the ending, but I don’t think it’s bad that I don’t like the ending. Rather than watch another addict pull his life together or destroy himself, we watch a downward spiral with so much gravity the whole world self-destructs alongside him. And that’s why The World’s End is the most interesting of the three: it is a bold choice, and I think we are free to feel however we want about the conclusion Gary engineered for himself. I don’t think it’s valid to pretend it didn’t happen.

In the context of the trilogy, we see that Shaun’s immaturity is mostly a problem for Shaun: he would be, at worst, a footnote in the lives of the people who love him; “yeah, I liked Shaun a lot, but I couldn’t carry him through life anymore.” Nicholas is the kind of overachiever that is useful if pointed in the right direction; juvenile code of ethics aside, he is, empirically, helping the community (within the entirely fictional framework where that’s a thing police do). If the world hadn’t changed to turn their flaws into strengths, they would still be relatively harmless. Gary is what happens when immaturity isn’t harmless, and shows us how a world built by that immaturity would look.

There is an appeal to Gary King, a wish fulfillment. Letting your id fully off the leash because you no longer care what anybody thinks - it’s why some people drink, and it’s why some people would like to drink with Gary. But if that’s not just your Friday night, not just your twenties, but that’s your life? There is a destination at the end of that road, and it’s Gary doing something truly ugly. And we see that ugly thing the way Gary sees it: as awesome. But then you see the reality: the Monday morning after the Friday night. We went out with Gary and he did something terrible.

And I’m not telling you to hate Gary for it; I’m not saying Gary can’t be forgiven. In fact, seeing it for what it is is the only way Gary could be forgiven, because, if he “grew up and took responsibility,” there’s nothing to forgive.

I think this is the only way the trilogy could have ended. I mean, you make stories about boys who get older and older and don’t grow up, it eventually becomes a problem. There’s only two ways to resolve it: you either end with a guy actually sorting his shit out, or you go for broke and show what happens if he doesn’t. And I think some of us boys saw that and said, “no, noooo, they did grow up! all three of them!” rather than say, “haha! hahaaa! ……………shit.”

#video essay #cornetto trilogy #Youtube

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clarionglass · 7 months ago

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so i have been bitten by the sam reich!master bug courtesy of some phenomenal art by @northernfireart and uh. as is too often the case i had to write something otherwise if i didn't get it out of my brain i would go absolutely insane

(there may be more vignettes coming if i have ideas..... there are definitely other episodes i'd like to give the Treatment to, plus with the new dw series coming out on the weekend i may have ideas for how to incorporate the dw gang! however, i promise neither more writing or no more writing. that said, this was a lot of fun so there'll probably be more at some stage :D )

this has full spoilers for the game changer ep "escape the greenroom", but hey that's been out for a while now so,,,, if you haven't seen it i'd highly recommend it as an episode!

so, without further ado:

Samuel Dalton was a complete fiction, of course, but that didn't mean that when Sam Reich snuck back upstairs to get tied up in the “out of order” bathroom, the Sam that remained on the monitor, laughing at the contestants, was a pre-recording. And if Brennan, Siobhan and Lou had snorted at the idea of a time-travelling evil magician great-grandfather (for good reason), going in with the actual truth of the matter would have sounded like jumping the shark.

It sounded bizarre, but the time travel bit was the only part about his new partner in crime that was confirmably real. Admittedly, the jury was still out on “evil”—he gave off a weird vibe at times, but so far, no lines had been crossed, and it had all been funny as hell—so for now, Sam was willing to roll with it. But perhaps most surprisingly, there wasn’t even the possibility of blood relation between Samuel Dalton Reich and the guy who had shown up out of the blue one day with his exact face and a plan to really fuck around with things on Game Changer.

Yeah, the whole alien thing had really ruled out that particular prospect.

There had been various bits and pieces of confirmation that this guy wasn’t human through the time Sam had known him, but the final nail in the coffin for that one was when his doppelganger had looked him dead in the eye and tried on one of the heart rate monitors—sorry, “range extenders”—for As a Cucumber. The damn thing had literally sparked up, then died completely. Trying to process input from two separate heartbeats at once would do that, apparently.

His doppelganger was a Time Lord, or so he had nonchalantly said one afternoon in casual conversation, though Sam still wasn’t sure if that one was a joke or not. It was hard to tell, sometimes, because he said the wildest things with the straightest face, and so far, most of them had turned out to be one hundred percent certifiably true. The time travel, the space travel, even the changing faces thing—it sounded objectively insane, but the proof was undeniable.

There were some notable exceptions, though. Saying he’d been trapped for aeons inside Neil Patrick Harris’s gold tooth went just that bit too far to be believable, though Sam did appreciate his double’s slightly warped sense of humour.

It was that offbeat line of thinking that lent itself well to game design, as it turned out. He had a knack for coming up with ideas for Game Changer episodes, albeit with the occasional suggestion that went way beyond the bounds of good taste, and, as in the case of Escape the Greenroom, had devised some blinding twists on concepts Sam had already half-formed. The letter puzzle unlocking the secret door? It was perfect.

Understandably, Sam’s doppelganger had wanted to observe the fruits of their labours in real time, rather than watching the recording later. It happened, sometimes, particularly when it was one of his ideas that had made it through to the episode list—they’d swap places for a session, with nobody being any the wiser. Watching those edits back always felt a bit weird—it was uncanny how flawless the mimicry was—but hey, the guy was right. It was always fun.

Escape the Greenroom, specifically, with its “Samuel Dalton” conceit, provided them with a unique opportunity. Instead of swapping out the camera feed for a recording when the cast piled into the tiny secret room behind the wall, as per the original plan to get Sam in position to be discovered in the bathroom, they could just swap out the people. Sam would go upstairs, and his double would take his place at the podium, ducking out of sight when everyone came back to the main stage to “defuse the bomb��.

Sam was keen—hell, if their situations had been reversed, he’d want to be there to watch, too—but caution raised a flag. “You don’t think it’s too risky?” he’d asked when the subject was first raised. “Both of us being in the same place?”

His doppelganger had shrugged one shoulder with supreme unconcern. “The crew won't notice.”

At the time, Sam had shot him a sceptical look, but right now, Sam-Reich-in-a-purple-tie and Sam-Reich-in-an-orange-tie were standing backstage post-record, clearly visible and and calmly chatting, and not a single member of the crew had given them so much as a second glance.

…Hardly even a first glance, come to think about it. If anyone looked over their way, their eyes seemed to… not exactly go through them, but slide over the two of them like water. He was tempted to wave to Nico or Ash or someone, just out of pure curiosity, but something in the back of his mind told him that wouldn’t be the world’s greatest idea. He had a funny feeling he wouldn’t like to see what would happen next.

(He’d given the prop bomb back to the crew once the cameras stopped rolling, and though it looked the same as the one he remembered from before he’d headed upstairs, it felt different in his hands. Heavier, more… serious, somehow. He was sure nothing would have happened—but at the same time, he was suddenly very glad that the cast had cut the correct wire with no less than a minute fifteen to go.)

(The jury was still out on evil, after all.)

“Worth coming in for?” he asked instead.

“Absolutely,” his double replied with relish. “Locking those three in a small room for an hour? Brilliant, fantastic. Inspired. It was absolute chaos.”

“Have you seen up there?” Sam asked, a smile starting to spread across his face. “They messed up the set real bad.”

His doppelganger smirked at him. “You know it took literally two seconds from you telling them to escape the greenroom for Lou to smash that guitar?”

Sam shook his head. “Oh my god. Yeah, they were stressed.”

“Mmm. Some real panic in that room,” his doppelganger agreed, and Sam chose to ignore the faint note of satisfaction in his voice.

He shifted his weight, settling back to lean against the table behind the set, in the exact instant his double decided to do the same thing. It really was freaky how similar they were, down to the smallest mannerism—like looking in a mirror, only weirder, because the face that looked back at him was truly his own face, not mirror-reversed. Even now, it still caught Sam off guard from time to time, but at least it had faded into a more comfortable kind of strange. He had an exact lookalike who was an actual time-travelling alien. Cool. Doesn’t everyone?

The pair shared a companionable silence for a few moments, before a thought Sam had been turning over for a while rose to the top of his mind. He shifted again, this time on his own, and he felt his double’s regard swing up to fix on him like a magnet.

“Okay, real talk,” he started, and his doppelganger frowned back in an approximation of confused innocence. “What’s all this for?”

“Who says it has to be for anything? Aren't we just having fun?”

Sam hummed, considering. “Yeah. No, I'd believe that, if I didn't sometimes walk into production meetings and find out I'd apparently been very specific about the people I wanted for certain episodes.”

“Point for Sam,” his doppelganger acknowledged with a grin. “You got me. Wasn’t hard to make a few phone calls on our joint behalf.”

“Yeah, but why?” Sam pressed. “I mean, Siobhan, Brennan and Lou are always great comedy value when you put them together, and it was awesome to have them for this, but I get the feeling you’re thinking of something other than making good content.”

“Who, me?”

With that, his double gave him a look of such overdone pantomime innocence that Sam suddenly and thoroughly understood why, not half an hour earlier, Brennan had very seriously threatened to push him down the stairs.

He rolled his eyes, which earned him a smirk for his troubles.

Dropping the act, his doppelganger continued. “I’m expecting an… old friend, I guess, to show up at some point, and—well, I’d like to put on a really special show for them. I thought it would be a good opportunity to try a few things out, you know?”

Ominous pause aside, that was actually kind of sweet. Sweeter than he’d been expecting, that’s for sure—he was half anticipating the revelation that he and his cast were subjects in some weird experiment. Hey, that still couldn’t fully be ruled out, but still.

“Okay,” he acquiesced. “Well… just let me know, next time? Before you start ordering in my cast like takeout?”

“Who says they’re your cast?” his double shot back with a twinkle in his eye, and Sam snorted.

“Fine. Our cast, then. But seriously, let me know?”

His doppelganger nodded, which, if not quite fully convincing, was good enough.

“Oh, and do you know when your friend might be arriving?” Sam asked. “Because if you wanted to plan something, we can—”

“I don’t know,” his doppelganger interrupted. “So yeah, we’ll have to move fast when they do get here. But I’ve got it under control.”

He broke off, then shot Sam a mischievous grin. “In the meantime, though, I’ve had this fun thought about time loops…”

#sam reich!master #sam reich #the master #dw #doctor who #game changer #dropout #dropout tv #northernfireart #clari speaks #clari writes #in posting this i am fully aware that sam reich is a real human being who uses the internet and fuck. if this escapes containment.#mr reich sir if you ever see this i can only apologise but it was truly fucking funny to write #oh btw i imagine that reich!master asked for those specific 3 because across em you've got a good spread of personality traits #that the doctor and their companion(s) would have #we've got the monologues and the high-stakes-all-the-time from brennan.#we've got the puzzle focus and the 'oh this is my first time in this kinda situation' from game changer newbie siobhan #and lou is just. pure and beautiful chaos #plus they're all very smart and creative mfers #so it's a good test run #game master

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mixelation · 1 month ago

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other social media AU concepts

the akatsuki youtube channel exists to theoretically promote them but for a long time it's the most random grab bag of "world's most famous criminals, doing something wildly boring." their social media is technically supposed to be tori's job but she's given no real direction over it except sometimes kakuzu is like "we have a brand deal" and she's like "what?" and then kakuzu is only mildly successful at forcing deidara to do an ad read and it's REALLY obvious deidara is trying to read a cue card and getting distracted. all the comments are jokes about deidara maybe not being able to read and then tori has to prevent him from tracking people down and murdering them.

tori DOES like running @/akatsuki_official on ninja twitter though. she works through a lot of her problems by tweeting threats at world governments and then pein is like "good job, i guess"

i went back and forth on his her affiliation with akatsuki is known and i think it's funnier if the world thinks she's just the world's weirdest woman, but akatsuki realizes they can promote themselves via her channel. like "i hire a ninja for a day" is a popular type of video but tbh akatsuki is too expensive for most influencers. kakuzu is like "free ad!" and tori keeps getting sent out with random people and every single one of their fake missions cannot be turned into an ad that gives off the vibes akatsuki wants. either it's like "wait actually this is going to seem terrifying" or "itachi just seems unfriendly and weird in this one" but then "wait no getting drunk with deidara makes them TOO friendly, we have to be cool"

i do like my idea where she ends up cohost with itachi on a true crime show because truly itachi is not interesting without a cohost. tori says the most insane shit you've ever heard and he manages to say something even more insane with 80% fewer words. she gets him to say actually interesting things and he keeps her on track. a lot of people literally only watch for itachi and think tori is super annoying, even though without her his show would just be him staring blnakly at something. every tenth comment is "so when does itachi beat someone to death with a shovel"

tori gets into a controversy because it comes out multiple people have decided it would be funny to hire ninja to kill her and every single person's attempts have failed in bizarre ways. one guy tried to hire from konoha and a ninja turned up, asked him a bunch of questions about if HE knows tori, and then left without taking the job. no one's successfully hired ninja can like.... find proof she exists. there is no proof she's been to many of her locations beyond the video she took of them. rumors start that all her videos are staged, or that tori herself is a ninja. (obito refutes this by posting a master cut of her dropping things and tripping over shit, including a solid 90 second segment of her trying and failing to kill a mosquito)

she has a video called "visiting my haters in their homes" she has to take day within hours

#tori 'ring that bell' mendoza #toriverse

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mountttmase · 11 months ago

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Winter Sun - Chapter 1

Note - I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally post this 🙊 it’s honestly one of my favourite things I’ve written and I really hope you love it. I wish I could find the original anon who inspired this but I hope you all love it 🩷 feedback is appreciated as usual 😘

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 6.6k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

‘Thanks for saving me in there, Mase’ you smiled as you squished yourself in the back of the taxi. Whoever thought it was a good idea to order a 7 seater you had no idea but Mason managed to steady you as the pair of you sat practically in the boot.

‘Don’t worry about it. It’s like a jungle in there sometimes, they look like animals on the hunt. Makes my skin crawl’ he laughed, his body turning to face yours slightly in order to give you a bit more room before you slung your legs over his. ‘You alright there’ he chuckled, his warm palm pressing to your thigh but you just gave him an enthusiastic nod.

‘Perfect’ you winked before the car finally jolted forward.

‘You two got enough room back there?’ Ben asked from in front of you, turning in his seat to check on you both before your best friend, and Ben's girlfriend, Carly turned to face you too.

‘Just about’ you laughed before they turned away, leaving you and Mason to talk amongst yourselves.

‘I’ve been meaning to complain to you actually’ Mason started, his hand is travelling down your leg to massage the soft skin of your calf. ‘Why haven’t I received any baked goods delivered to my door recently?’

‘Because I’ve been selling out’ you laughed, catching on to his impressed expression before he shrugged. ‘Christmas is my busiest time of year’

‘Well you need to make me extra then’ he winked, causing you to chuckle. ‘Christmas is over now anyway’

‘Two weeks ago yeah’ you laughed. ‘Don’t worry I’ve made you something extra special for your birthday’

‘Cute’ he laughed but you didn’t miss the subtle bite of his lip. ‘Can’t you still make me some of those Christmas tree brownies? I like those’

‘Thought Christmas was over?’ You told him, brows raised as you tried to use his words against him and you could tell by the twinkle in his eyes he was enjoying your teasing.

‘You know if I could live in your bakery I would but unfortunately I have a job myself’

‘Well that’s just not a good enough excuse really is it?’

‘I guess not. You wanna be my sugar mumma in more ways than one then yeah?’ He joked, causing you to roll your eyes before laughing loudly. The joke was unexpected coming from him, considering you were only friends and he never spoke to you like this but you also knew he was as cheeky as they come and Mason always liked to make a joke about the name of your business no matter how much he told you he loved it.

Sugar Mumma was a concept you’d dreamt up at school. Wanting to put your baking talents and love of sweet treats to good use, you’d always wanted your own bakery and two years ago after lots of grafting and selling your bakes from home, you’d finally been able to open your own shop.

It wasn’t anything huge, but it was yours and you loved it more than anything else.

Mason loved it too by all accounts, in fact the first time you’d ever met him was there. When Carly had first met Ben she took him in a few times to grab some treats for various date nights so you knew him well and around six months into their relationship Ben had bought Mason in so they could pick up her birthday cake.

You remembered that day fondly, you’d been rushed off your feet for most of it. Flushed, sweaty and covered in flour when they’d arrived but you’d blushed at the sight of him. Oh he’s cute you thought, suddenly realising what a state you must have looked but his gentle smile and kind eyes relaxed you.

Mason seemed impressed by everything and his sweet tooth had clearly got the better of him. Not wanting to wait until later for cake he was looking at your basically empty display to try to curb his cravings but all you had to offer him was the last triple chocolate muffin.

You knew they were good, but watching the way his eyes rolled around in his head as he took a bite filled you with satisfaction. The sinful moans and groans pouring from his lips telling you how much he was enjoying it without any words as Ben watched on with mild embarrassment at his friends' antics.

That had been a year ago and it was pretty safe to say you’d all formed a pretty strong bond since then. Mason was alway nipping into your shop to get his sugar fix, in the end striking a deal with you that you’d give him a box of leftover items from that day in exchange for tickets to his games and you’d often be caught leaving them outside his front door with a silly note attached. That was until he’d moved away around five months ago now and you barely got to see him.

You knew he was a bit homesick so you began sending his sweet treats up to him in the post and you still remember how happy and excited he sounded when he called you that first day he’d received them.

You liked Mason, he was fun and kind and just someone who made you feel good when you were around him. You both grew to be great friends as you hung out with Ben and Carly and soon enough as you met more of their friends you had a pretty nice friendship group going even with him being further away.

But you weren’t blind. You knew how attractive he was and you couldn’t lie you had a soft spot for him but you loved the way it was so platonic between you both. He was never over the top with you, if anything he always came across as soft and a little shy. A true gentleman that was never inappropriate with you and you truly treasured having him around.

There had been a weird and unfamiliar tension in the air since he’d stepped in to save you earlier though. You weren’t sure what it was, maybe the alcohol and some new found confidence, but his eyes were focused on your lips constantly when you were talking and the times you did make eye contact, his were dark and sultry.

‘Come on then, Muffin. Let’s get you out’ Mason laughed quietly and you shook your head even though your heart was fluttering.

Muffin.

What had started out as a cute nickname he’d given you after the first treat he’d tried from you had become a small inside joke. You pretended you hated it as you really had at first, but now you’d grown fond of it. The fact he seemed to be using it as more of a term of endearment now made your insides melt every time the name passed his lips but he didn’t need to know that.

You allowed him to help you out of the car, stumbling slightly in your drunken state but he was there to catch you. Hands tightly gripping your waist and you held onto his strong shoulders, laughing into his chest before he turned and bent slightly. You could never seem to say no to this man so you let him help you on his back, arms around his neck as his arms looped around your legs so he could carry you up the drive and into Ben's house.

He was straight into the kitchen, popping you down onto the counter so he could scour Ben's fridge for snacks and you laughed as he absentmindedly wiggled his hips as he assessed his options.

Sober Mason was one of your favourite people, but tipsy Mason was something else. His bleary eyes and dopey smile tugged at your heart strings and you watched on with a fond look as he was seemingly lost in his world. This was the first time you’d seen him like this and the more you were, the softer you were feeling for him.

‘Hey Mase? Why don’t you check in the box on the counter? 'Carly called as everyone started filtering in and you watched him shimmy over to the box of treats you’d bought over earlier in the day.

‘Ooo, muffins’ he giggled, lifting one out before making his way back to you. You watched as he practically shoved half of it into his mouth before offering you some, where you awkwardly managed to take a bite. His eyes were on your lips the whole time, a fond smile playing on his as he watched you intently. ‘Does it ever feel weird eating the stuff you’ve made? I’d imagine it feels like eating your own babies’

You wanted to laugh but you were frozen. The feel of his thumb running under your lip to gently brush away the crumbs made you stop until his eyes were back on yours. Your heart melting at the gesture but also at the crumbs all over his face so you reached out yourself to do the same to him yet the smile on his face made it difficult. You didn’t miss the way his breath hitched in his throat at the feel of your fingers though, eyes carefully locking as he took down a nervous gulp before you couldn’t take the intensity of it anymore.

‘You’re a weird drunk, Mase. I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve seen you like this’ you commented as he scrunched his nose up at you adorably.

‘Well I like to let my hair down on my birthday but what can I say, I’m a good boy usually’

‘I’m not so sure I believe that’

‘Yeah I don’t think I would either’ he laughed before his hands found your hips and he winked at you seductively.

This Mason was different to any Mason you’d seen before. Wondering where the hell he’d been hiding the extra cheeky and flirty form of himself but you couldn’t say you weren’t enjoying it. It had been a while since you’d been paid any male attention and the fact it was coming from someone like Mason was making you giddy.

‘You two coming in?’ Ben suddenly called from the doorway, motioning to where everyone else was in the other room and you watched in fascination as Mason shoved the rest of the muffin in his mouth before nodding.

‘Coming now’ he called, holding a hand out to you to help you down but you shook your head at him.

‘You go, I just need to get my shoes off and I’ll be in’ you told him but his hand was on your thigh instantly.

‘I’ll do it’

‘No Mase-‘

‘I can do it’ he told you sternly and before you could stop him, he was getting down on one knee in front of you so he could rest your foot on his thigh. You weren’t quite sure what he was up to but you felt a shiver roll through you as his fingers trailed down your legs. He must have felt it too, you could see the cocky smile playing on his lips as he delicately traced your skin.

You let him carry on, enjoying his soft touches as your skin tingled in the wake of his fingers before he finally made it to your ankle strap. He was quick to unbuckle it and pull your shoe off before manoeuvring the other leg so he could do the same, your heartbeat quickening with every second that was passing and as soon as your other shoe was off his eyes were on yours.

You were frozen under his seductive gaze, unsure of what to do next as his fingers gripped your ankle but even in your wildest dreams you couldn’t have foreseen him breaking eye contact so he could place a small kiss to the inside of your calf.

It was like the wind was knocked out of you, but you didn’t have time to react properly. He was up on his feet again, hands on your waist so he could help you down but you felt yourself wobble slightly as you hit the floor. Thankfully Mason's hands were still on you to steady you and you shot him a small smile that he returned as you ran your hands up his arms to grip his biceps.

‘Thank you’ you whispered, making Mason smile as he bit his lip to try and suppress it. You couldn’t take your eyes off of each other, trapped in a trance until the booming sound of Ben calling for Mason made you flinch.

‘Mase! Get in here!’ He bellowed, causing Mason to playfully roll his eyes at you before nodding his head in the direction of the living room.

‘You coming?’

‘Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec’ you told him and with one final squeeze of your waist he was gone.

Where the hell has this boy been hiding? You thought to yourself. Mason had always been a little cheeky but this was something else. He was sexy and alluring in a way you’d never seen him be before. You could feel the atmosphere between you becoming thick and electric but you were unsure about what it all meant. In the end you pushed everything to the side and padded into the living room to join the conversation in hopes of distracting yourself.

Mason was sitting in the arm chair, his legs spread wide and you unconsciously licked your lips as you fantasised about crawling into his lap.

‘Ah there you are,’ Carly called, patting the seat next to her as an invitation for you. ‘Saved you a seat’

‘Thank you’ you smiled, plonking yourself down next to her but immediately you felt too far away from Mason and his cheeky knowing smirk thrilled you.

‘I swear to god, I’m never going out again, those rude pricks ruin it every time. I’m trying to dance with my girls not get touched up’ Carly suddenly moaned, and you nodded in agreement beside her. ‘Sorry we ruined your birthday night out Mase’

It was true, the whole reason you were all home so early was due to the fact you and the rest of the girls couldn’t seem to enjoy yourselves at the club you were in. At first you didn’t care, if they wanted to look they could, but as time went on you could feel the lingering touch of countless men. You’d pushed all of them away, moving in closer to Carly and the other girls but it was no use. It was only when Mason appeared out of nowhere and wrapped his arms around you did you start to feel a little safer.

‘Don’t worry about it, I think I’m happier here when I can hear myself think’

‘Maybe we’re getting a little too old for clubs now. I don’t know about you but the whole thing stresses me out’ you laughed and thankfully everyone pretty much agreed with you.

‘I still want to go to a few clubs when we’re away’ Carly told Ben, referring to the big group holiday all your friends were going on to Portugal in a few weeks.

From what Carly had told you it was her and Ben, Dec and Lauren, Woody and his new girlfriend Kayla who you’d met a couple of times and Mason. You had been invited from the start but due to low funds and a shop to run you’d had to pass and even though it was your decision it still stung a bit to hear them talk about it. ‘I really wish you were coming, y/n’

‘So you’re really not coming then?’ Woody asked as he popped himself on the arm of Mason's chair and you shook your head lightly.

‘It’s fine, I’ve got a lot on’ you shrugged, trying to play it off but you knew deep down you were disappointed you couldn’t go. You hadn’t had a proper holiday in years and you could feel the pit of jealousy in your stomach at the thought of seeing everyone’s holiday snaps. ‘I’m just gonna grab a glass of water’ you mumbled before jumping up to go to the kitchen.

You took your time, hoping by the time you were back the conversation had moved on but you could hear them all still talking about the villa so you popped yourself on the stairs and had a quick check of your emails.

‘Who are you texting? Anyone I should be worried about?’ You suddenly heard, looking up to see Mason walking towards you and you smiled as he took a seat next to you.

‘No I was just checking some work emails’

‘Ah yeah, sure’ he winked, bumping his shoulder into yours. ‘So, still no Mr Muffin on the scene?’

‘I don’t really have time’ you told him but he just scoffed at your answer.

‘Everyone has time. You just have to make it’

‘Fine, I haven’t met someone I’m willing to make time for yet’ you countered, watching the way he raised his brows at you. ‘What about you anyway? Is there a Mrs Mount lurking about?’

‘The only Mrs Mount you need to be concerned about is my mum. And she loves you anyway so I wouldn’t worry about it’ he smiled, your heart fluttering as you thought back to meeting her at a few games. She’d always been super sweet to you and you were glad to know she liked you back. ‘So in answer to your question, no. I haven’t met someone I’m willing to make time for either’

‘Considering you could probably pull half of the population I'm surprised’ you laughed and you couldn’t help but notice the blush that settled on the bridge of his nose. ‘Are you blushing?’ You teased, laughing as he hid his face in his hands. ‘Aww been a while since you received a compliment?’

‘Been a while since I received anything’ he joked, his words clearly having a double meaning and you felt yourself now redden at his words but the alcohol in your system shut off the sensible part of your brain and you felt yourself agreeing.

‘Oh tell me about it, I feel like I’ve forgotten how to do it’ you giggled, watching his eyes crinkle adorably as he nodded along.

‘It’s like riding a bike, you’ll be fine when you give it another go’

‘Yeah but it’s finding someone to help me, you know… get back on the horse’

‘Are you kidding me? Did I or did I not save you from a long line of men who clearly wanted to get in your pants tonight?’ He teased and you rolled your eyes at him playfully.

‘Well yeah, but if you think I’m taking some random man from a club home then you’re very mistaken. I don’t know where he’s been’ you laughed and you watched him turn on the step slightly so he could face you a bit easier. You took this as your cue to do the same with both of your elbows resting on the step above you, smiling happily at him.

‘Okay so hypothetically, if you were to take someone home. What’s your type?’ He asked, his fingers delicately tracing your knee and you felt your breath catch in your throat at the intimate gesture.

‘I mean pretty much what everyone else wants’ you said lowly. ‘Tall, dark and handsome’

‘Well then look no further. I may not be overly tall but I’ve got the other two on lockdown’ he winked and you felt your face heat up. Not sure if he was being serious or not, thinking maybe it was the alcohol talking but you shook your thoughts away and tried to move the conversation on.

‘Well what’s your type then?’ You questioned and he looked at you thoughtfully before speaking.

‘Nice eyes, pretty smile’ he started and you rolled your eyes at his generic statement, thinking that’s what all boys say but you stayed silent and let him continue. ‘Someone confident but a little shy, feisty around the right people’ he carried on, pulling back to look at you properly and your tummy dropped. Is he talking about me? You wondered, your thoughts somewhat confirmed when his fingers started trailing up your thigh and it took everything in you to keep up eye contact with him when all you wanted to do was watch where his fingers were going.

‘Anything else?’ You whispered

‘Good eye contact’ he smiled before reaching up to tuck your hair behind your ear. He let his hand trail down your neck until he was holding you just under your ear so he could gently tip your head to the side before leaning over like he was about to kiss your cheek.

He didn’t, but you felt your legs go to jelly and he gently rubbed his nose along your cheekbone whilst a low hum poured from his lips. ‘Smells nice’ he whispered, pulling back so his lips were an inch from yours. Your foreheads nearly touching as his eyes scanned your face. ‘Probably tastes even better’ he finally uttered, causing you to take a small shocked breath in.

You were hanging on his every word, heart pounding as he was seeming getting closer to you and you subconsciously tilted your head up to meet him in the middle. You’d never understood the concept of being drawn to someone like a magnet but you finally felt it as you were pulled in his direction. Your lips so close they were almost touching but at the last second he backed up with a knowing smile across those pretty lips of his.

‘Not here’ he whispered, tilting his head so he could lightly kiss your cheek and you couldn’t lie you were slightly disappointed. You saw him go to say something else, yet the words never made it out of his mouth. You both jumped at the sound of Ben's voice calling him from the other room, scrambling away from each other when you heard his footsteps and you knew you were blushing hard when he eventually rounded the corner to see you both.

‘Woodys setting up the ps5, you coming?’ He asked, not really looking at the pair of you or waiting for an answer before heading out causing the pair of you to chuckle.

‘I’ll come find you in a bit, yeah?’ He promised and all you could do was nod. You sat wondering what the hell had just happened. This ultra flirty sexy version of Mason obviously only came out when he was drunk and you were a little bit disappointed this was the first you’d ever seen of him.

You went on the hunt for Carly though, hoping he would come and find you soon but you’d been separated from Mason for about half an hour now and your eyes rarely left each others. Even when he didn’t know you were looking you could see his eyes all over you in a way he never had before and you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t loving all the attention he was giving you. When he was distracted for a while you made your way upstairs to the bathroom so you could sort yourself out as you knew you probably looked like a hot mess. The combination of Mason's flirty antics and the alcohol in your system had made you flustered and you needed some time out just to collect yourself.

‘Hello? Who’s in here?’ You heard, Masons voice booming through the door suddenly as you’d just finished washing your hands and you smiled instantly as you dried your them off.

‘It’s me’

‘Hi me’ he chuckled, clearly pleased with himself and you quickly opened the door to reveal his dozy smile and kind eyes.

‘Hello you’ you laughed, stepping aside and back over to the sink in hopes he would follow you inside and you smiled as you heard the door click shut. ‘Missing me already?’

‘Maybe. Missed looking at you in this dress at least’ he commented, positioning himself behind you with his hands on your hips as you caught eyes in the reflection of the mirror. You were trying to act unbothered, touching up your makeup like you didn’t care but his teasing attitude was making you crumble.

‘Oh yeah?’ You giggled, unsure as to what to say to him but the need to clench your thighs together was growing stronger and you watched him eye you up with his bottom lip trapped in between his teeth.

‘Mmhmm’ he teased, squeezing your hips softly before his eyes returned to yours. ‘I mean you always look good but I like this one a lot’

‘I’ll make sure to wear it more often then’ you told him quietly, watching him gather your hair and move it over one of your shoulders so he could expose your neck. You knew it was coming, but when his lips finally touched the base you felt your whole body erupt in goosebumps.

You didn’t say a word, just watching him in the mirror as he slowly peppered kisses up and down your exposed skin as you tried to regulate your breathing but you could tell he knew how much things were affecting you. The smile on your lips telling him as much but the hard length that was pressed against you bum was telling you how much he himself was enjoying too.

‘Easy there big boy’ you laughed, squeezing his hands that were gripping your waist and he buried his face into your neck with laugh before pulling back. His eyes were basically black as he turned you round to face him, pressing his crotch into yours and you had to hold back a moan.

‘I’ll show you big boy’ he whispered, lips dangerously close to yours and as much as you loved his teasing you’d had enough now and were ready to have him. Luckily for you, the pair of you seemed to be on the same page because as soon you wrapped your hand around the back of his neck his lips were on yours.

It was one of the softest kisses you’d ever had, lightly brushing your lips against each other but it was growing heavier by the second until the pair of you appeared to have gotten the giggles. Laughing onto each other lips until it was becoming impossible to carry on

‘What is happening’ you giggled, your hands coming to grip his jaw so he wouldn’t part from you but the firm grip on your thighs already told you he wouldn’t be.

‘I don’t know’ he laughed, peppering kisses across your jaw and cheeks. ‘I don’t wanna stop though’ he breathed and you had just enough time to nod your head in agreement before he was back kissing you. Deeper this time as his hands travelled up your thighs and to your bum, pushing your dress up with him so he could grip your cheeks with his thumbs under the waistband of your underwear, stroking your skin gently. A contrast into how aggressive he was being with his mouth.

You didn’t know what came over you but you pulled back, resting your hands behind you so you could shift your weight onto them. Raising your hips in order for him to rid you of your underwear and even though he was taken aback you could tell he wanted to rip them off of you.

‘Come on Mase. I thought you were gonna show me your big boy’ you laughed, watching his expression turn shocked before he was smiling devilishly at you.

‘Don’t start something you can’t finish, sweetheart’

‘Try me’ you whispered, knowing he wouldn’t be able to resist as soon as the words left your mouth he was blushing before he pulled your underwear from you as quickly as he could, kissing you frantically.

You knew what you wanted, reaching to undo his jeans but he pulled you away before placing your hands in his hair. Thankfully he knew what you wanted, his thumb connecting to your clit suddenly and you moaned into his mouth at the sensation.

‘Mase, please’

‘Shhh’ he breathed, his lips trailing down your neck before biting your shoulder. ‘Easy baby. Let me take my time with you’

‘We don’t have time. They’ll coming looking for us soon’

Mason let out a short breath, knowing you were right and you couldn’t risk it so when your hands flew to his trousers again he didn’t stop you from unbuttoning them. His hands were back on your hips to pull you forward so your core was closer to him and when he tugged his boxers down so he could free himself you shivered at the sight of him.

You both knew you had to be quick, but you thanked the lord he was slow and careful with you to start with. Lining himself up with your entrance as you sat back on your hands before he hooked your legs over his forearms to give him better access.

It really had been a while, the stretch of him delicious and by the look on his face he was clearly feeling the same. His thrusts slow and steady before he picked his pace up, the sound of skin slapping against skin only making everything feel more intense and when he moved his hand to play with your clit again you swore you were seeing stars.

‘Mase’ you moaned, your head falling back as he drove into you but the low moan that fell from him made your head snap up.

‘I know, you’re so tight. Fuck’ he breathed, hips slamming into yours and you knew it wouldn’t be much longer as he’d been turning you on all night. He looked wild, dark eyes intensely on yours with his bottom lip trapped in between his teeth and the blush across his nose was proving how into it he was. You tried holding your moans in, not wanting anyone to hear you but he was making it difficult. It was like he knew your body intimately already and the way he was making you feel was like no one else ever had. ‘Come on, cum for me’ he whispered and it didn’t take you much more convincing, whimpering below him as he fucked you through it before pulling out to cum over your thighs.

Your eyes were on each others instantly, uncertainty settling inside of you but the sight of Masons pretty smile settled you instantly.

‘Sorry about the mess’ he laughed, grabbing a towel and cleaning you up before picking your underwear up off of the floor and helping you down. ‘Well that was unexpected’

‘You can say that again’ you blushed, pulling you underwear up your legs and readjusting your dress. You weren’t sure where to look but you felt his finger under your chin so he could make you look at him and as soon as you saw his kind eyes you felt settled again. ‘Happy birthday I guess’ you joked and thankfully he laughed along.

‘Thank you, you okay?’ He whispered, dropping a kiss on your forehead and you nodded shyly. ‘Good. We best go or they’ll get suspicious’

You agreed, following him out the door before he pushed you forward a little and you turned to look at him when a confused expression.

‘I’ll come in a bit. Make it look like we weren’t together’ he told you and you wanted to leave but the overwhelming need to clarify somethings before you left took over you.

‘Hey, Mase? I um- I’ve never, you know… this isn’t what I um’ you stumbled, and the heart melting smile he gave you made your tummy flip.

‘It’s okay, I know. We’re just having a bit of fun yeah?’ He told you and you felt your shoulders relax instantly. ‘We can talk about it another time if you want but don’t worry, I’m not getting down on one knee just yet’ he winked, causing you to roll your eyes with a laugh. ‘Now go, I’ll see you in a sec’

You did as you were told, trying to act as normal as possible when you went to join the others but they were back talking about the holiday and you felt your heart sink again.

You didn’t want to be a misery though, helping them find clubs and restaurants to try without trying to appear too bitter about it and when Mason finally came back you tried to avoid his eyes as to not be too suspicious but you knew he was looking at you. You were also trying to to not over think what had just happened with Mason just now. It was so unexpected, you didn’t know what had come over the pair of you and it was like you could still feel his touch on your skin.

When it all got a bit too much you went back to the kitchen, no longer wanting to hear about all the exciting things they had planned while you slaved away in a hot kitchen. You knew you were being moody and it was your choice not to go but it didn’t make it hurt any less having to hear about it.

‘I’ve been thinking’ Mason announced suddenly and your heart nearly jumped out of your chest from the sound of his voice. ‘This holiday, it’s not right you not coming. I know you wanna be there so I’d like for you to come with me’

‘You know I can’t Mase, I can’t afford it for one’ you told him, finally admitting to someone the real reason for you not going but by the look on his face you could tell he knew it already.

‘That’s why I’m asking for you to come with me. You don’t need to worry about that then’

‘What?’ You asked, your face scrunching up in confusion ‘Mase, no-‘

‘Before you say no, just listen to me’ he laughed coming over to you so he could trap you in between his arms by placing his hands on the counter either side of you. ‘You know me, you know I’ll do anything for the people in my life and if anyone deserves a break it’s you’ he told you sincerely before his face turned cheeky. ‘Plus, I think I can make it worth your while’

‘What do you mean?’ You asked skeptically

‘Just let me look after you a bit, yeah? We’re both stressed out and need a break. I’ve only got a couple of weeks before I need to get back to training and I need to let off some steam. I’m not saying this has to be anything you know? But there’s obviously some level of attraction here and I’d rather spend my time with you than go through all the shit of trying to find someone else. You get that right? I’ve got a rep to protect’ he winked.

You were confused to say the least, not sure exactly what he was getting at but if it was what you were thinking then couldn’t lie, you were tempted. If you were understanding correctly he was willing to whisk you away with him for a week of sun sea and no strings sex for nothing. The tipsy part of your brain was willing to accept straight away, eager to get to feel more of him again yet the sober part knew it sounded too good to be true.

‘So you mean…?’

‘We keep it casual you know? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. You said you don’t know where these boys have been but you know exactly where I’ve been cause it’s just with you. Then at the end of the week we go back to our normal lives. I just need someone who I can trust and I know that’s you and I hope you know you can trust me. And we both know we can be sneaky sneaky now so it’s a win win’

‘I don’t know, Mase…’

‘If you don’t wanna, you know, that’s fine I’m not asking you to come for that reason only. Just turn up. That’s all I’m asking. If anything else happens then cool but I hate the thought of you being here when we’re there. You’re meant to be with us’ he reasoned and even though that took some of the pressure off he could still tell you were unsure. ‘What’s holding you back?’

‘We’ve been drinking Mase. This may sound like a good idea now but what about tomorrow when you’re wondering why the hell you even kissed me, let alone anything else’ you asked but he looking at you like you were talking rubbish before he shook his head with a laugh.

‘Stop talking shit. If it makes you feel any better I can text you tomorrow cause I know for a fact I’ll still feel the same. This isn’t just some weird thing I thought of off the cuff, I’ve hated the thought of you not coming with us since Ben told me’

‘It’s a lot of money, Mase’ you whispered ‘I’d never be able to pay you back.

‘I’m not asking you too. There’s plenty of other ways to repay me’ he teased and you rolled your eyes with a smile. ‘Not like that’

‘Like what then?’

‘I’ll let you buy me an ice cream’ he smiled as you laughed into your hands. ‘Or you can make me lunch or help me with my sun cream. I’m not bothered about how much it costs or you paying me back. I just want you there’ he huffed and you couldn’t lie, you were convinced. ‘Please muffin’ he pouted, bumping his nose with yours and you smiled up at him softly.

‘It’s not just the money, I can’t leave the shop that long’

‘What about Nads?’ He asked, referring to the girl you hired a few months ago to help you run things. ‘Think of it like a trial or something for her. If she does a good job then you can leave her in charge more often and you get a bit more of a life. I know it’s your baby but you have to learn to let go sometimes’ he told you and you hated how reasonable he sounded.

‘Can I think about it? I’ll let you know tomorrow’ you asked quietly and with a small nod he closed the relatively small gap to place his lips on yours in a soft kiss.

‘Take all the time you need’ he nodded before wrapping his arms around your shoulders so he could pull you into a hug. ‘You staying here tonight?’

‘Yeah’

‘Well I’m gonna head home with Woody in a sec’ he told you gently, the pout in your face evident even though he couldn’t see you. ‘We’ll talk tomorrow yeah? About all of it’ he suggested and you knew he mean the holiday and whatever had happened between you earlier.

‘Okay’ you whispered before he dropped a soft kiss on your forehead.

‘Have a good sleep, yeah? I’ll text you in the morning’ he smiled before giving you one last squeeze and pulling away.

y/n

liked by: carlywlms_, masonmount, benchilwell and others

Y/n mission take a picture in focus has failed

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carlywlms_ my sparkly sister ✨

y/n the brightest star in my sky 💫

benchilwell Why do I not remember any of this

y/n that’s cause you’ve got nothing in between your ears

masonmount thanks for a lovely evening 🩷

y/n happy birthday masey moo 🥳🎁

jorginhofrello happy bday papai ♥️

woody_ you’re missing out on a week of this

y/n that’s fine I don’t think my body could physically take it 😩

okaylaaa pray for me ☹️

y/n 🙏��🙏🏼🙏🏼

masonprivate nice shoes 😏

y/n you too 🤫

yungchalobah 👀🤔

y/n 🫣

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