#i however am not so this could be totally wrong
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FROST YOU'RE A GEM FOR INCLUDING THE SCREENSHOTS OF TRP. I would have done it in my post but I don't have game time as of this current moment (though I am highly considering it since I miss my elves). The WIP screenshot made me laugh because mine was something like this for the longest time: "You mean I need to WRITE my TRP? I'm throwing my phone on the floor."
I think what I missed in trying to articulate my thoughts is that TRP relies on the calibre of your writing first with aesthetic coming in at a hard second place. You can dress up your TRP as much as you like with the included visuals (aka, the moon/vine in Frost's are assets. If you're a WoW roleplayer, you know pet battle weather statuses got you), but it is down to how much or little you want to include to entice people to walk up to you/message you. Everyone has access to the same tools; the only difference is your style as far as roleplay/writing and how you utilise it.
With the way the mod scene is at the moment, it feels like the opposite. Unless you have taken the time to install a dozen different plugins and mods (assuming you're even playing via pc), a lot of spaces won't give you a look in or assume you're there to troll. Trolls have existed since the dawn of time on any platform, and it can be difficult to know who is approaching with good intentions... but this barrier around requiring mods as the standard to differentiate legitimate roleplayers/creatives from non is extremely detrimental and excludes players from what is already an tiny subset of a fandom.
And don't get me started on the decentralization of mods because I'll complain for at least two hours on how the decentralization of rp communities in general has fractured the community and why the hell is it so hard to find x community when you know it's out there?
It's because it's on Discord and only advertised on bsky where a grand total of four people might repost the advertisement because people are worried about looking too earnest and/or potentially contributing to something nefarious... so it doesn't go anywhere because what if someone else's reaction to it is negative. Or people are burnt out of their things not getting any traction so they don't extend the kindness to othersâsomething, something ouroboros. I'd argue it's the same for gposes. People don't want to look 'weird' so they don't do anything at all. It's incredibly sad.
I don't know how you fix it. I think it's just tiresome. It's weird to have left WoW because I feel like XIV was offering more, only to genuinely consider going back casually because the latter has regressed despite being the game I'd much prefer to be playing. (Though, don't get me wrong, I still love WoW. I think The War Within has helped cure a lot of my ick around the game, provided Blizz can keep up with that kind of value.) I could write a whole other essay on the state of Horde-side roleplay and how being anything other than human adjacent comes with it's own battles in the communityâbut that's for another day. It's just to say that no space is a utopia.
For me, it's why I sink time into the Compendium and work really hard on my spaces because they're the most centralised and earnest I can make them. At the same time, however, it's exhausting to feel like you're clawing up hill against the rest.
Playerscope, modding and the hunt for aesthetic: why you should be more upset about mods and community expectations than you already are.
I love that this sounds like an academic paper but HONESTLYYYY. I need to put my thoughts to paper in regards to my burnout with xiv, otherwise I think I'll go insane. This is a controversial yet brave post. I am well aware that I partake in some of the things I'm going to be critiquing; aka, "thank you, dinklebottom, we live in a society." I'm also not critiquing mods from a space of offering more accessibility to people and/or facilitating representation not currently offered within the context of the game. There is nuance to every discussion and I'm coming at this from an overarching view around mods and community expectations/standards rather than player joy. I hope this makes sense. I'm also predominately writing from a roleplay perspective, though I'm sure a lot of what I end up saying can reflect in the art party/social space. Just know if I haven't mentioned the latter it's because that's not my scene and I don't pretend to know otherwise.
Anyway. For those who don't know, there's a new mod that's causing some strife in the xiv community called Playerscope. Here is the reddit thread about it. I'm not going to be talking too much about the mod in general because that's not the point of this post, but seeing discussion around it today just made me feel more exhausted than I already am when it comes to modding and the xiv community around it. It made me realise... I'm actually really sick to death of mods. I'm sick to death of what they're doing to the community when it comes to gatekeeping, policing and in general the interactions we have with each other in the community.
Let me explain: I wrote a post about the roleplay mod on bsky that kind of articulates at a surface level what I mean.
I think what makes me sad, which I'm sure is echoed by a lot of people, is that mods feel like the standard now rather than an option and that there's a certain expectation for people to have them if they want to engage with facets of the communityâwhether intentional or not.
Unlike XIV, WoW has a supported mod scene (within reason) and TRP 2 and the like have been accepted for years now. In a space where people can't slap on an RP tag, having that tool readily identifies you as a writer/roleplayer and you can include as much or as little of your character as you like. The general idea is if you have one of these tools enabled, you're a roleplayer to some capacity. You can dress up the profile to a certain degree, you can add links and supported pictures, but you're mostly reliant on what you put to paper in regards to your character. Even then, I find filling out what my character is doing currently and marking the rest as a WIP doesn't necessarily exclude me from roleplay if I want to find it. A lot of people will do that and a super simple description to incite interest around their oc.
These days in XIV... I don't know. I do think communities have gotten more insularâit's why I'm so pedantic about trying to find them for the Compendiumâbut I also think mods and, to a certain extent, the 'nightclub' scene have gotten in the way of it as well. My argument is such.
I want to go to an event (for example sake, I'll call it Seascape). In order to fully participate, I may need:
Their discord.
A roleplay addon.
A carrd/google site/etc.
Their synchshell (including mods, mare and everything else)
Potentially a mod of some description so people know I can see theirs (and vice versa).
Also that your mod isn't made by a shitty person.
Appropriate understanding of the scene/social space.
Some luck and a prayer that it's an inclusive space and not a closed rp group advertising as being open and/or a mod showcase advertising itself as something different.
Like??? Holy shit you guys. If you are someone who doesn't want to mod because you're worried about repercussions it really just feels like a big 'fuck you, good luck'.
And let me be clear, not every community is like this. I'm incredibly lucky to have found fantastic roleplay within my own rp event/community, I have great friends who run awesome, inclusive events for people of any skill (writing or otherwise) and I do fully believe you can just enable the rp tag and find fun, fulfilling roleplay. But I've also found the above a lot of times, too. I've had people point-blank get mad at my partner because he won't install mods and try to exclude and/or circumvent him in spaces. It's weird. I've been to events where the only time I felt like I got proper interaction(s) was when I joined the aforementioned, even if I have my character's profile linked in my about. It's weird.
Honestly, no wonder new roleplayers feel overwhelmed. Not only do they have to learn roleplay etiquette, they have to be a mod expert overnight? It feels less about what someone can bring to the table as far as a story but what mods they can install to either look cool or pass an unspoken social barrier. As much as I'm down bad for aesthetic and looking the part, I hate it being at the cost of accessibility and fun for someone else.
Arguably it's the same for gposing and the like as well, which contributes to my exhaustion alongside all the graphical changes and I just. I'm gnawing at the bars of my cage.
I don't think it's going to change and arguably it's more of a Twitter/X issue than a Tumblr, one but Tumblr lets me write mini essays and Twitter will tell me to kms.
Ergo, I'll go with the essay-writing platform.
Anyway, I guess this is just a reminder that you don't need 4596419651 mods to be in the community and that people should be more vigilant on including people who don't have them for whatever reason, provided they operate in good-faith and want to contribute. I think we're careening to a slippery slope of expectation for something unsupported and I don't like it.
#ïœĄïœ„ïŸïŸïœ„ â sea speaks#BUT ALSO YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THE NIGHTCLUB SCENE#i would write about it but like this is already long#and may end up longer idek#but having a party animal and trying to find a legitimate rp 'party'#that isn't a twitch dj#is HARD#like i don't have an issue with a legitimate rp event that HAS a twitch dj if it's a kind of 'help me help you' sort of thing#but it never is#it's always about who has the best mods and dances ripped from fortnight#and that's FINE if that's what you want but it's NOT roleplay!!#i will be elitist about that because if no one is writing that isn't rp!!!
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I like to think Robin understands a handful of french words and this is a little game they play. :] BONUS:
note: i dont know any french so thereâs probably some mistakes in here. Lol
#sanji is fully fluent talks to himself in french#trust me.#i however am not so this could be totally wrong#metalhiro arts#one piece#one piece fanart#one piece fancomic#nico robin#op robin#sanji#vinsmoke sanji#blackleg sanji#op sanji
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there are two wolves inside of you: one feels impending doom at the thought of tomorrowâs race. the other feels immensely hopeful that oscar will get his first win tomorrow or at the very least a mclaren 1-2. you are a formula one fan.
#iâm literally about to fucking throw up#this race doesnt even start for another 8 hours but i feel actually sick#like this is keeping me up#(yes i have a TOTALLY normal and healthy relationship with this sport)#you guys literally dont even understand the ways of which i need oscar to get his first win tomorrow#like i can literally feel it in my bones i just KNOW he can do it#like i know he can and i really feel like tomorrow is the day for it#however i am very very scared that the more i keep thinking about it and saying it the more i am jinxing it#like iâm literally imagining everything that could possibly go wrong#but iâm also beautifully imagining the way that oscar is going to get a perfect start and overtake lando (so sorry lando)#and build a big enough gap to where he can win the race#i need the mclaren pitwall to lock the fuck in today like i am nowhere near joking when i say i will start hysterically sobbing#if they fuck it up#alternatively i will start hysterically sobbing if oscar/lando wins so really theres no winning for me in that sense#but also i cannot even imagine the amount of pressure that both lando and oscar must be under right now#like i do not know how they do it because imagining it is further making me sick#me when i develop an anxious attachment style to two drivers and also an entire sport#lol#didnt have that on my 2024 bingo#anyway so im lraying to fucking god that the race goes okay because otherwise im killing myself#and i think i am perfectly valid in saying that#im also getting lunch with my two other friends who watch f1 a few hours after the race tomorrow#so regardless the race is going to be talked about but it will very much vary oh whether or not its good or bad#anyway im going to stop talking about this now because ive been doing nothing but talking about it all day#and i like genuinely need to shut the fuck up#SO i am going to hopefully go to sleep#weâll see how this ends up going for me#lacey talks
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#i'm putting this in the tags because i'm scared of what could happen otherwise#but i am so fucking frustrated with the people who don't want minors and people under eighteen years old#interacting with their blogs!#don't get me wrong i understand that people put those up for a reason and i totally respect that#but what i don't understand is the fact that some of those people think itâs completely fine to interact with MY BLOG!#literally the first thing i have in my description is that i am under eighteen years old because i don't want to reveal my actual age yet#however some people seem to have missed that#i don't know if i'm just overreacting and just being a little shit#and i'm sorry if i am#but i just really don't like how some people are not giving the same respect that they want to be given#why have that age restriction if you're going to interact with me anyways#this has happened a few times and it's kind of frustrating#again i'm sorry if i'm being an asshole#please don't hate me
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Dom! Yan professor x himbo reader imagines~! à»ê°àŸàœČ˶Ëâ°Ë˶ê±àŸàœČá
Just imagining your biology professor being a total hard ass, rude and unkind to every student heâs ever had and giving out the most excessive amounts of homework daily, as soon as he met you something sinister had awoken inside him. The way youâd smile at him all stupid wearing shorts that showed to much and jogging pants that let him see the side profile of your cock during the first day of meeting you had this man losing it.
Just imagining you staying back after your college classes, you being freshly twenty three and scraping by if not failing every class you took, only making it to college on a sports scholarship with you staring and blinking at your professor all class. Yandere professor, just imagining him watching you from the corner of his eye the whole class, his hands moving on auto pilot only able to think about you and how you blink dumbly at him while he teaches making him speak up âis something wrong Mr L/n?â
Just imagining you getting stuck after class in tutoring sessions all hours of the day because he claims âIâm just trying to help you achieve better [name]â heâd utter those words so sincerely it would keep you oblivious while he stares at your ass and your pecs, bitting his lips when you lean in your chair showing him the perfect peak of your body having this man insane having to excuse himself for a moment during your sessions while he goes and âfixesâ the situation between his legs.
Just imagining Yandere professor who rubs up against you grabbing and touching your body all over at any chance he gets with close proximity, slowly over time building trust off of his age and status, him pushing mid forties and freshly divorced. Just imagining him bringing up chats about his golden retriever just to twist your oblivious trust into something else, making you feel special whilst he gives you all the attention you could ever dream of with the intent of getting you all to himself wanting to possess and keep you like a boy toy.
Just imagining Yandere professor who asks you for âfavorsâ claiming heâd make sure you passed all your classes, that youâd never have to worry about losing your scholar ship. Heâd have your face in his crotch with your mouth wide open engulfing his cock all flushed in the face with teary eyes holding his thighs. Oh how he almost felt sorry for those poor girls that drooled after you during your gamesâŠ.almost, but having your mouth stuffed full of cock asking âam I doin good Eânough fâyou sherrâ while you soured your words with spit making slurping sounds just trying to please a good grade out of him.
Just imagining Yandere professor who does random dorm checkups on you, making you stay over at his apartment the nights your frat bros throw parties, not standing for the thought of some sorority girl getting her manicured hands on you, you were His and heâd fuck you so good that you knew it. Two glasses of wine later sitting in his apartment with your hand gripping the counters in shambles âs-ir!â All you can repeat over and over is his name speaking it like a prayer to your messiah feeling a drunken man going at it fucking you so hard the sounds start buzzing together and the over head light in his kitchen blurs under your pupils.
Just imagining Yandere professor who had your legs spread wide open sitting leaned back on his desk eating your ass out like a starving man. Gripping your skin and kissing your pucker, practically making out with your rim and letting you ramble on cluelessly about your plays and strategies, whining about how âthe coach is placing me as Qb this year!â While you grip the back of your professors head looking down at him just blinking and getting comfy when you see him having no intentions of letting you go since him being able to work your body and play with you however he liked was part of the âconditionsâ
Just imagining your grades going from a fifties and forties across the boards to becoming a straight A+ student having all of your friends asking how you managed to swindle that, having your fiends wanting to know your secret while one of them asks âall those time youâve been ditching, you must be going off to secretly study huh!â Your closest buddy just laughs and nudges you during practice unable to tell him that youâve been whoring yourself out to the most hated teacher on campus.
#sleep-0-deprived#x himbo male reader#sleep 0 deprived#yandere cw#yandere x reader#x male reader#older man younger boy#yandere character#yandere oc#male yandere x male reader#male yandere x reader#yandere x male darling#yandere x male reader#yandere male#yandere mlm#yandere obsession#dark content#dark content x male reader#cw yandere#x male reader smut#yandere original character#yandere oneshot#top male yandere#dom Yandere#sub male reader#bottom male reader#top yandere#gay mlm#x bottom male reader#x bottom reader
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I have to explain what is going on in the UK, because it is absurd.
So, this is Gary Lineker:
He's known for a fair few things over here. He was a very good (association) footballer, playing for England in the 1986 and 1990 World Cups, winning the Golden Boot in 1986, and managing to never get a single yellow card in his playing career. He played for Leicester City, Everton, Barcelona, and Tottenham, before finishing his career in Japan. But if you aren't in your mid 30s, you probably know actually know him him for a couple of other things. The first is the role of spokesman for another Leicester icon, Walkers Crisps (which are sort of equivalent to Lays, but hit different), as pictured above. Despite being a notably clean player, he used to play a cheeky serial crisp thief. I don't think he's done that for well over a decade, but his ads were on the telly a lot when I was a kid and it's a bit like learning that the hamburglar was an incredibly clean (American) football player or something.
The second thing Gary is widely known for is having presented Match of the Day, the big football program on the BBC, the sort-of state broadcaster, since 1999. He is, incidentally, very well paid for this (though with a consensus that he could get even more if he went to one of the non-free-to-view broadcasters because he is very good at the job). He also has a twitter account. And political opinions. So, the UK government has got itself dead set upon doing heinous stuff that will totally somehow work to prevent people who want to come to the UK making the perilous crossing of the Channel (between England and France). By heinous, I mean "openly advertise that they won't attempt to protect victims of modern slavery" stuff. It's very obviously using a legal hammer to victimise a marginalised group of people in order to win votes. And, uh, I should clarify that by "legal" I mean "using the passage of laws" - the policy is, in addition to all the other ways it's awful, probably incompatible with the Human Rights Act and the UK's international law obligations. Gary, top lad that he is, objected to this. On Tuesday 7th March, he made a quote Tweet of a video of the Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, bigging up the policy, he wrote "Good heavens, this is beyond awful.". This got a bunch of backlash from extremely right-wingers, and then he made the tweet that really got him in trouble (with right-wingers): "There is no huge influx. We take far fewer refugees than other major European countries. This is just an immeasurably cruel policy directed at the most vulnerable people in language that is not dissimilar to that used by Germany in the 30s, and Iâm out of order?".
Now, I am not actually subjecting myself to watching a video of Suella Braverman bigging up a cruel policy to say whether the specific comparison of the language to 1930s Germany is accurate. But needless to say, Ms Braverman was amongst the many figures on the right of UK politics objecting to Gary's rhetoric. And here's the part where a fact about the BBC comes in: it is nominally neutral and impartial (and so, of course, is routinely accused of bias from all sides but particularly the right-wing), and has something of a code for its contributors to this effect. Now, that code has previously been applied to Gary Lineker, over a comment about whether governing Conservative Party would hand back donations from figures linked to the Russian regime. But it generally hasn't been applied too strongly to people like Gary, whose roles have nothing to do with politics (such as presenting a "here's what happened on the footie today" show), on the basis that, well, their roles have nothing to do with politics. However, when directly asked about whether the BBC should punish Gary Lineker for his tweets, government figures basically went "well, that's a them problem". But a couple of days passed, and it seemed like Gary's approach of "standing his ground because he did nothing wrong" was working and everything would die down. He was set to get 'a talking to' but not much more than that. The Conservative right, after all their fire and fury earlier, had gotten bored and moved onto something else. And then, on Friday 10th March, the BBC announced that he would be suspended from hosting Match of the Day this weekend. But it could still go ahead, because there are, like, other hosts! Except, well, funnily enough, when you take a beloved figure off air, for making a fairly anodyne tweet, no one wants to be the scab who actually takes up the role of replacing him. Gary's two co-hosts, Alan Shearer and Ian Wright, said that they would not appear without him. People who (co-)host Match of the Day on other days followed suit. The net result is that Match of the Day is currently set to air without hosts, BBC commentary, or global feed commentary. And the solidarity shown to Gary Lineker, over what is very flagrantly actual cancel culture and an attack on freedom of speech (the logic implied is that institutional impartiality requires that no one say anything too critical of the government ever), has continued to grow. The BBC has pretty much been unable to run pretty much any live sports content today, and has resorted to raiding the BBC Sounds archive to fill the sports radio channel. And, as of 17:30 on Saturday 11th March, the situation shows no signs of improvement, though some are calling for the Chairman Richard Sharp, who is separately facing corruption allegations, to resign (yes I linked to the BBC itself there, there is nothing, nothing, the BBC loves more than going into great detail about how much the BBC sucks).
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Ok so I've been loving all if the stuff you've been putting out so far, it's literally so good!!! My request is how the lads would react to you falling down the stairs and I'm talking like a long stream of stairs (totally not bc I fell down the stairs today while watching sylus edits hehehe)
First of all, omg, I am so sorry but I giggled. I hope you're okay!
Here you go, anon. I hope this is what you had in mind! Do me a favor and ban yourself from watching Sylus edits near stairs!!
How the boys would react to you falling down the stairs
Characters: Xavier x Reader | Zayne x Reader | Rafayel x Reader | Sylus x Reader Warnings: Stairs are your biggest op.
(little bit of falling, little bit of fluff. Lots of love for anon)
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Word Count: 1.9k
â Man would be mortified.
â He turned his back for two seconds, next thing he knows you're takin a tumble
â Would most likely ban you from being near stairs by yourself again
â âYou can take down wanderers, but lose a fight against stairs?âÂ
â Would let you lean on him for support the rest of the night (he knows it hurt)
The elevator to your shared apartment building had broken down. By the time the two of you had arrived home to find that out, it was 11pm, and far too late for maintenance to come out to fix it. You were stuck taking the stairs until maintenance arrived tomorrow morning.
Normally, this wouldn't be an issue. However, your day had been excruciatingly long, and the stairs were more of an obstacle and a hinderance than they should have been. Your body was sore, your legs felt like jelly, and you really hated stairs in general.
Xavier looked down at you, stifling a laugh at the exasperated expression on your face. "I could always just carry you," He offered, extending his hand.
Whether it was your pride or your stubbornness, you couldn't accept. "I'm fine," You insisted, although it sounded like you were reassuring yourself more than Xavier. "You're tired too. Go ahead, I'm right behind you," You would very quickly find out that your last statement aged like milk left out in the sun.
Xavier shot you one last skeptical glance before he turned and began walking up the stairs. You followed suit, doing a decent job until you stepped wrong and lost your balance. Your arms flailed, successfully grabbing on to nothing. The only audible indication that you were about to fall was the startled gasp that left your mouth, which caught Xavier's attention with just enough time left to helplessly watch you fall.
You stumbled backward, colliding with every single one of the 13 steps on your way down. Every single stair caused a painful shock and an even bigger dent to your ego.
Xavier was kneeling by your side in an instant.
"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice laced with concern. He helped you sit up, carefully eyeing you for any visible injuries. You were very sore, but luckily not seriously injured. At most, you'd likely be bruised in the morning.
You let out a huff of air, stifling a pained grunt in the process. "Well, that was embarrassing,"
Xavier stared at you, wide-eyed and looking like he was 3 seconds away from calling an ambulance.
"Xav. I'm alright," You insisted, twisting to lift yourself up.
Xavier intervened, quickly scooping you up before you could get to your feet.
"No," He said, shaking his head. "You're banned from stairs,"
With that, he began walking back up the stairs you'd just tumbled down. While you were nearly dying from the embarrassment, Xavier actually didn't mind carrying you. In fact, he'd rather carry you up and down every flight of stairs you encountered for the rest of your life if it meant he wouldn't witness another fall like that again.
Once you were safely at the top, he gently set you down outside of your apartment, making sure to keep hold of you in case you were unsteady on your feet.
"I can stand," You assured him. You were still heavily embarrassed, but ultimately thankful that he was so sweet.
He kept an arm on you until your door was unlocked.
"Is it too soon to say you should have accepted my offer the first time?"
You shot him a glare, although it lacked any real heat.
"I think I should stick around for the night, just in case you happen to encounter anymore stairs,"
â
Professional Zayne mode engaged immediately
â
Depending on how bad the fall was, you're getting a full body exam before you're even allowed off the floor
â
and that's not it, either
â
You think you might bruise? Cold Compress. 15 Minutes. Now.
â
Man will be stressed for the rest of his life any time you're in the same vicinity as a single stair
Zayne had lost track of the amount of times he'd warned you to be slower coming down the stairs. Every single time you came down them, two at a time and at a speed that was less than acceptable, he'd get heart palpitations, convinced that this was the time you were going to fall.
It was coming, and he knew it. He warned you. You, however, tore through the house like a woman on a mission. You had a habit of learning the hard way, and you're simply too prideful to take his warnings seriously.
Until about 30 seconds ago.
You don't even remember what you were going to tell him. You'd been upstairs, he'd been downstairs. You raced down the stairs, coming in hot, and somehow miscalculated a step about halfway down.
That fall that Zayne had warned you about numerous times was finally a reality, and damn it was painful.
Zayne, from the kitchen, heard what sounded suspiciously like a body bouncing off the stairs and immediately stopped what he was doing to come check on you.
He rounded the corner, and there you were in all your glory: dazed, disoriented, and sore with a bloody lip serving as the cherry on top.
"Don't move," He said gently, kneeling at your side. With well trained eyes, he began looking you over. "Where does it hurt?"
"Everywhere," You groaned. It was true. 30 seconds ago you were having the time of your life, and now you felt like you'd been hit by a semi truck.
The next 10 minutes consisted of Zayne thoroughly checking every limb, asking you to answer various questions ("what day is it? What year is it? Time? Count backwards from 10. What comes after W?") and forcibly holding an icepack to your lip.
He ended up carrying you to the couch, gently laying you down so he could continue what he was doing while simultaneously babysitting you.
He did not hit you with an "I told you so,"
Not yet, anyway.
However, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking for a house that didn't have stairs.
â He'd hear it from the other room and think a tree fell on his studio or something
â "Is it storming? I swear I heard thunder,"
â He'd make sure you were okay, but he's definitely teasing you about it later
â "I'm looking for a new bodyguard. Mine can't even handle a staircase,"
â definitely makes a moment post later on
â ^ "thought it was storming earlier. turns out it was just (Y/N) getting in a fight with stairs and losing. 10/10 ambience though,"
â on a separate occasion, I can see you both falling at the same time and blaming each other for it
While Rafayel was occupied with his current project, boredom had gotten the best of you. You began exploring the studio, surprised to find a set of stairs that you hadn't noticed before. Upon further inspection, they lead to an attic.
Curiosity killed the cat, so they say. You couldn't help yourself.
Was Rafayel an attic man? What sorts of trinkets did he stash up there? The questions were burning too hot to go unanswered.
Unfortunately, it was mostly old paint supplies and boxes of random decorations that had been retired. You were left a little unsatisfied, but you had gotten an answer.
As you began to retreat, you realized the stairs felt a lot steeper than they did on the way up.
It didn't take long for you to lose your footing. The sounds that filled the air were a symphony of thuds and curses.
After laying on the ground for a few minutes, trying to recover, you opened your eyes to see Rafayel standing above you.
"You good?" He asked, kneeling down. "I kinda thought you died,"
"I'm not good, but I'm not dead."
He gently checked you over and then extended a hand to help you up.
"I think you should stay away from stairs," He drawled, leading you toward the couch. "and I also think you should sit here and recover from that,"
You plopped on the couch, too tired to protest.
Rafayel studied you for a moment longer, wanting to make sure you were truly alright before he began the teasing. It was his way of lightening the mood. "Are you sure you're alright?"
You reassured him that yes, you were alright. He sat next to you, casually tossing an arm around your shoulders.
"Good, because we need to talk about your Bodyguard skills. You need training or something. You just lost a fight to some stairs,"
⥠He was never worried about you around stairs before
⥠but he's absolutely having remodeling done within the next 24 hours now
⥠you are getting absolutely BABIED by this man the second he comes to your aid
⥠You're not even lifting a fork, sweetie
⥠You're getting tossed over his shoulder and carried like a sack of potatoes if stairs can't be avoided in the future
⥠You're not going to get hurt again if he can help it
At times, Sylus thought it was cute when you shut your brain off around him. He knew that it meant you felt safe, and it filled him with warmth whenever he stopped to think about it.
He'd place a tactical hand over the corner of the table when you bent down to pick something up, just in case you bumped your head again, you'd hit his hand instead of the corner.
He'd gently guide you when you weren't paying attention to where you were walking, too engrossed in your conversation to look for obstacles.
You really only did it when you two were at the base. Sylus didn't mind, though. In fact, it was almost endearing, the way you were comfortable enough to turn off your spatial awareness.
He couldn't always be around to steer you away from obstacles, though.
And you, unfortunately, had a habit of walking around while looking at your phone instead of where your feet were going.
You'd done it again today. But this time, it had caused a problem.
You were walking down the stairs to get a drink, completely fixated on a video you were watching, not a single worry in the world about the steps. Sylus had chided you for it before, but it had never been an issue....until now.
You stepped too far forward and immediately ate shit the rest of the way down the stairs. Your phone clattered to the floor, ending up several feet away. Mephisto witnessed the entire thing and had the nerve to squawk at you.
To add insult to injury, Sylus just so happened to be rounding the corner just in time to see your disheveled figure crumpled on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.
He was careful not to jostle you when he knelt down.
"Can you move?"
You wiggled your fingers, your toes. Flexed your wrist, rotated your arms. Despite the horrendous pain in your side, you could still move. You answered his question with a nod.
He picked you up as gently as he could, holding you princess style with both arms, being extra careful.
"Were you on your phone?" He asked, already eyeing the evidence on the floor. The screen was shattered, but the sound of the video you'd been watching was still coming through the speakers. He'd warned you about walking distracted before, but was usually there to be a hero. Not this time.
"Maybe,"
He refused to get more than three feet away from you for the next several hours, constantly offering to get you various things you may need. Water? He's on it. A snack? You bet. Heating pad? Consider it done.
If you had known that accidentally falling down the stairs would cause Sylus to get all soft and cradle you like you were made of glass for the next few hours, you'd have fallen on purpose a lot sooner.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace rafayel#lnds xavier#lnds rafayel#lnds sylus#lnds zayne#lads zayne#lads sylus#lads xavier#lads rafayel#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#lads x reader#lnds x reader
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Guy and a Gain
âSure, sheâs cute. But she canât give a decent blow job to save her life,â Guy shrugged, checking out the girls on the dancefloor with his football buddy, Rich.Â
âYouâve slept with her already?â Rich asked, always impressed by Guyâs prowess.Â
âOf course I have. Look at her. Sheâs the prettiest girl in here by far,â he nodded down at her. âBut she has no instincts when it comes to giving head. Sheâs been my biggest disappointment since I arrived on campus.â
âIâm sure she could learn,â Rich shrugged, still taken with the girl. He was tall and broad and enough of a catch for her. However, he didnât have the natural good looks, strapping build and height that made it so effortless for Guy to pick up whoever he wanted on a night out.
âIf you want her, go buy her a drink,â Guy shrugged. âBut Iâm telling you, youâll be disappointed. If itâs a decent blow job youâre after tonight, you canât go wrong with a fat girl. Theyâre always out to please. Gay guys too - awesome at taking a dick in their mouth.â
âDude!â Rich shot back, taking a step back in horror. âYouâre telling me youâre gay?â
Guy laughed, rolled his eyes and shook his head. He strapped his big arm over Richâs shoulders and pulled him back in. âDonât be that guy,â he stated warningly. âNot if you and I are going to be friends. Itâs not the nineties. You hear what Iâm saying?â he asked, turning his head to Rich. There was no denying which of them would win in a fight, so he wasnât about to take some outdated homophobic shit just because the idiot came from some backwards ghost town in the midwest. âI love sex. And I stick my dick wherever it feels good. Thatâs just the kind of man I am.â
Rich seemed to get that heâd been out of line and he nodded respectfully. All the boys on the football team looked up to Guy, not just for his sporting capability and strength, but because he genuinely didnât seem to give a crap about what others thought about him. He was smart and sharp; perfectly suited to the business degree he was studying. âSo whoâs given you the best time since we started college?â he asked.
âYouâd be surprised,â Guy chuckled. âI have this skinny little geek in the room next to mine. You could tell he was a total virgin until I came along, but⊠fuck me! The boy is a natural when it comes to sucking. And so convenient, right next door. I donât even have to knock.â
Rich nodded; his world view was a little less narrow than it had been a few minutes ago and he now seemed genuinely interested in his team mateâs extensive experiences in the bedroom. They chatted a bit more, until Guy saw the girl he wanted that night. Short, round and eyeing him like crazy. Heâd give her a night sheâd never forget!
âShe was a bit of a noisy one last night,â Mikey grumbled, sliding into the kitchen area the next morning.
Guy laughed and tore a large bite out of his toast with his teeth. âSorry, buddy,â he laughed. âI forgot you nerds all go to bed at 9am.â
Mikey rolled his eyes and poured himself some cereal. It was rare that they ever got the kitchen space to themselves like this, but Guy was always up for his gym session, no matter what time he went to bed. He sat there, hunched at the breakfast bar, his damp clothes sticking to his enormously muscular body. Even unshowered and stinking of sweat like this, he knew he could still get his favorite neighbor, Mikey, to go down on him in a microsecond.
âI noticed you brought home another fat girl,â Mikey commented next, grabbing the last of his own fresh milk that Guy had left him, after downing most of it post-workout. âYouâre making quite a habit of this.â
Guy rose to his feet and laughed, dropping his plate in the sink for Mikey to clean up after him and grabbing the boy by his hips from behind. âSpying on me, huh?â he whispered teasingly. The boy was at least half a foot shorter than him, melting the moment he was touched. âJealous, perhaps?â
Mikey moaned as he felt Guyâs lustful hands slide into his crotch to check how hard he was. âI just thoughtâŠâ he mumbled, âsome people find it odd when athletes like you date the fat girls.â
âBecause I really give a shit about what people think, donât I?â Guy chuckled back, peeling back Mikeyâs shorts so that his tight glutes were exposed. âI could fuck your skinny little ass later if you think it might balance things out a bit?â he teased. He strolled off to the refrigerator, leaving Mikey to cover himself back up before anyone else came in, perusing the shelf of food Mikey had bought for himself yesterday and seeing if there was anything he wanted to help himself to. âJust because you eat like a little sparrow...,â he sighed, seeing the boring items within and taking a large pot of yoghurt to eat in his bedroom, â... it doesnât mean that everyone else has to.â
Later that evening, Guy lay back on Mikeyâs bed, his head swirling from the intensity of the orgasm after shooting down his geeky neighborâs throat. Heâd never admit to his face how good Mikey was at this, but of the scores of people he had slept with since coming to college, Mikey was the only one heâd made a habit of going back to.
âHow was that?â the keen boy asked; his eyes watering from having taken Guy so far down his throat.
âAverage,â Guy lied, wishing the nerd would be quiet a few moments longer and allow him this period of pure bliss.
âNot like the fat girls you bring home with you then?â Mikey asked.
Guy opened his eyes and sighed, sitting up. âAre you still going on about that?â he grumbled, pulling his underwear back up his muscular legs and raising his butt to get them all the way up.
âI kinda wanted to ask you something?â Mikey tried next, in an oddly serious tone.
Again, Guy sighed impatiently. âWhat is it?â
âThese fat girls you go after⊠do you ever get horny thinking about them⊠yâknow⊠getting even fatter?â
Guy raised an eyebrow. What sort of an odd question was that? He shrugged his shoulders, deciding not to commit to an answer and see where the hell Mikey was going with this. âWhy do you ask?â
Mikey seemed emboldened by Guyâs response, getting up from his kneeling position on the floor and sitting on the chair by his desk. âItâs just⊠sort of a fantasy of mine,â he explained.
âMe fucking fat chicks?â Guy asked sceptically? He realised he knew so little about what genuinely got Mike going.
âNo. Not that,â he replied, shaking his head. âThereâs just something so kinky and submissive about getting fat for someone; becoming soft and out of shape.â
Guy looked across, even more puzzled, despite doing his best to hide it. âYou eat less food than anyone else I know,â he shot back. âYou wonât be getting fat anytime soon!â
Mikey nodded, as if Guy had hit the nail right on the head. âExactly!â he smiled. âImagine if someone pushed me to get fat for them! If some dominant guy made me eat all the things that forced my body to grow and grow for his own pleasure. How fucking sexy would that be?â
Nodding, Guy considered the idea. âYouâre definitely submissive enough,â he agreed, standing and pulling up his sweat shorts.Â
âYouâre not going to tell anyone I told you that, are you?â Mikey asked, suddenly panicked.
âWho the fuck do you think would be interested?â Guy laughed. âPeople are allowed to have kinks, yâknow? You need to lighten up a little!â
Mikey nodded back in agreement. Neither of them socialised within the same circles anyway. Guy was nothing if not liberal when it came to all things to do with sex. It was water off a duckâs back.
Mikey didnât mention the subject the next time Guy went over for his servicing, despite being surprisingly chatty about his day afterwards. Guy listened out of a vague politeness as he stretched out on Mikeyâs comfortable bed and watched the TV screen in the background. He could relax around Mikey. The guy didnât take any of this too seriously and never got clingy or sentimental. Sex was sex.
In fact, it was only as Guy spotted Mikey in the corner at a frat house party, that he realised he had never actually seen Mikey outside of the dorms until then. Their lives were so disconnected, with the exception of the thin wall that separated their dorm rooms. He waved politely, following the other athletes through to the kitchen, where the usual fun and drinking games took place.
Later that evening, with a circle of women swarming around him, Guy looked over to see a boy looking in Mikeyâs direction. Tall, slim and not unattractive, he gave Guy the distinct impression that he was interested in the nerdy boy. âDoes anyone know who that one is?â Guy asked the girls.
âThatâs just Aiden,â one replied. âHeâs got a crush on that guy over there,â she pointed at Mikey. âThey're on the same course together or something.â
Aiden? That name rang a bell. Guy was sure heâd heard that name mentioned by Mikey a few times in the past. It surprised him how little he had actually considered Mikeyâs life outside of their casual fucking. Of course Mikey was going to pique someone elseâs interest at some point. Guy wasnât the type to get into a relationship, but perhaps Mikey would be. Then what would happen? No more awesome blow jobs for a start. Normal people werenât good at sharing.
âHey, Mikey!â Guy suddenly shouted from across the room, catching sight of Aiden moving in, as if to make his move. âCome grab a drink with me.â
Mikey smiled and diligently headed over. There, Guy wrapped a big arm over his slim shoulders and slipped a shot into his hand. Guy himself didnât drink, never needing alcohol to make him fun at a party and refusing to fuck his training up with toxins that could impact his progress. There he stood, guarding the boy from any who may try to come near. Ten minutes was all they stayed after that, walking back to the dorms so that Aiden couldnât sneak his way towards Mikey when Guy wasnât looking.
âAre you coming in?â Guy asked, opening the door to his own bedroom and inviting Mikey inside.Â
âIâm honoured!â Mikey joked, having never been invited into Guyâs room before. He stepped over the threshold, into the dungeon of mess, sweat and sex.
The idea of Aiden had plagued Guyâs mind, suddenly making him realise just how much he had taken Mikey, and his awesome sucking skills, for granted. A gesture was required; a way to show the boy that his pleasure was important too. Guy stood in the middle of the room, planting his feet solidly and pulled the geek into him; kissing him passionately in an almost romantic manner. âDid you like that?â he grinned afterwards, knowing how well he could seduce when he wanted to. He pulled off his shirt and went in again, this time guiding Mikeyâs hands to explore his muscular chest. He needed Mikey to know what an absolutely perfect specimen he was if the boy was going to be asked out by Aiden soon; let him see what he would be missing out on if he got into a relationship. âLetâs take off your clothes,â Guy whispered next, undressing Mikey himself until his pants and underwear fell around his feet and he stood there naked, erect and longing for him.
Mikey seemed to appreciate how different this all was. Guy was the first to admit that he never really put the effort in when it came to his sessions with the boy next door. Then, when Guy started sliding his large hand up and down Mikeyâs hardness, the skinny boy moaned like he could climax at any time.
Guy had no intention of losing his fuck buddy. For the last hour, heâd been plotting how best to handle the situation, settling upon something he decided he could give Mikey better than anyone else. He threw open his closet door where a mirror rested on the other side, now reflecting Mikey perfectly back at himself.
âWhoâs that skinny little shit in the mirror?â Guy teased him, looking like a monster of pure muscle stood behind him.
In the mirror, Mikey watched Guyâs hand slowly sliding up and down his hardness; his lust filled eyes half closed and his jaw slack.
âI want you to do something for me,â Guy whispered next. âI want you to drink my protein shakes,â he nodded backwards to the little minibar that also served as a bedside table for him. âFive hundred and eighty calories each,â
Mikey turned and looked up at him, as if the reflected version was merely a mirage. âYou want me to drink all your shakes?â he asked, as if worried he had misunderstood.
âYeah, I doâŠâ Guy nodded down at him. âEvery last drop.â
Guy could feel Mikey almost quivering with arousal. He bent down to his little fridge and popped the lid on one of his shakes.
âYou know what these will do to you, right?â Guy grinned. âThese arenât made for skinny little dweebs like you. Boys who drink these and donât exercise⊠they start toâŠâ he whispered, keeping Mikey hanging on his every word. â...They start to get a little fat!ââ
Mikey nodded with absolute submission; his hands twitching to take the bottle from Guyâs large hand.
âSay goodbye to the skinny boy,â Guy laughed, nodding at the reflection once more, before twisting the mirror slightly so that the angle changed. Then he sat himself against the headboard of his bed. He spread his legs, pulling Mikey to sit into his crotch with his back resting against his strapping chest. Cleverly, Mikey could still see everything in the mirror as Guyâs hand rose up his neck, tipping his head back so that it rested on his muscular shoulder. Then those strong fingers pressed into Mikeyâs cheeks, opening the jaws and turning Mikeyâs mouth into the perfect pouring hole for the shake.
The mixture was cold. Guy took his time, adding a little at a time, as if making Mikey work for it. He theatrically rubbed the boyâs throat, like he was encouraging a good swallow; then went straight back to work on that aching erection. Once one bottle was down, Guy could reach with his giant arm span down into his minibar for the next, without even having to move Mikey. Then, down went another, and another.
âCan you see whatâs happening?â Guy whispered, rubbing a hand over Mikeyâs bloating stomach.
âIt looks so big!â Mikey moaned back, with Guy having to pull his hand away from the boyâs erection once again in order to stop him climaxing.
âThis is what youâre going to grow for me,â Guy demanded. âEvery day, everything you eat⊠all for me.â
Mikey moaned so loudly now, it felt almost cruel to deny him his orgasm any longer. âYes!â he nodded emphatically. âI swear. I absolutely swear!â
Guy only needed to touch him for a few seconds and the eruption that followed was more explosive than any he had ever seen a guy make. He looked at the splatter above the headboard behind them and chuckled. It was almost as high as he could get it himself. This was certainly a strange kink that Mikey had, but Guy felt that he had made his point well. No one was going to indulge this geek in his fantasies about weight gain; at least, not like Guy could. So why would Mikey need to look for connections anywhere else?
A few days later, Guy did a double take as he looked on Mikey's shelf in the refrigerator for food he could steal after his workout. Gone were the boring, sensible ingredients, replaced with high carb options, sugars and high fat dairy. Guy almost thought he was just confused, until he checked out the cupboard that Mikey kept for himself as well, finding a similar story. He frowned in confusion, wondering whether people had reorganised the kitchen space, until the encounter with Mikey nights before came back to him. Was the boy actually going to have a go at gaining a few pounds? How cute was that? But would this mean that Guy would have to buy more of his own food whilst Mikey was going through this little phase of his?Â
The normally fresh and clean smell of Mikeyâs room was tainted by spices and the sweaty, grease stained food containers that piled up on the boyâs desk. Mikey himself looked bloated and sluggish, his stomach stretched so much that he was obviously in some discomfort. Guy looked down at him, trying to hold back a laugh. âSomeoneâs been enjoying himself!â he teased.
Mikey nodded. âIf Iâd have known you wanted to stop by tonight, Iâd have saved the pizza so you could watch me eat it all for you.â
Guy wondered what on Earth Mikey expected him to get out of watching him eat a pizza. Was it supposed to be kinky? Like the protein shakes? Perhaps it was part of the submission aspect. All the same, it sounded more than a little dull. But this was Mikeyâs kink and Guy was hardly about to shame him about it. On the contrary, how exciting that the otherwise vanilla boy was actually doing something that he genuinely found thrilling. âWeâll have a little fat belly on you in no time!â he smirked, reaching down to pat the clearly overstuffed stomach.
Like a flip switching in Mikeyâs mind, the boy instantly became more aroused. Guy took notice, rubbing the stomach more and more, until Mikey finally fished out Guyâs boner and set his magic mouth to work.
âHave you seen Mikey recently?â asked Hannah, a former conquest of Guy's and the girl who lived across the hallway. âHeâs seriously packed on the Freshman Fifteen.â
âYou probably just saw him after heâd had a meal,â Guy replied knowingly. âHe tends to eat a lot in one go. He gets bloated.â
Hannah shook her head, not accepting the excuse in the slightest. âThis was first thing in the morning. He has actual love handles!â she stated emphatically.
Now it was Guyâs turn to shake his head. Heâd only been in to play with Mikey a few days before the Spring Break and he hadnât noticed any sign of love handles before then.
Hannah laughed. âSeriously!â she chuckled. âIâm not making this up.â
Guy marched down the corridor and knocked on Mikeyâs door, making Hannah laugh as she stayed in the kitchen. âWakey, wakey!â he called out, knowing that the boy was rarely up at this time on a Saturday. In the short space of time that it took a groggy Mikey to get out of bed, the door clicked unlocked and in Guy went, closing the door behind him. The dark, hunched form of Guyâs drowsy neighbor slipped straight back into bed. Instead, Guy strolled over to the window and threw them open dramatically. âTime to get up!â he teased.Â
As light flooded the room, Guy could see the mess of wrappers and containers that was testament to how much Mikey had been overfeeding himself since he arrived back on Wendesday night. He laughed to himself, picking up some of the mess and putting it on the boyâs desk. Then, knowing that it would frustrate Mikey, he reached for the duvet and yanked it away with full force, uncovering the entirely naked boy lying on his front underneath.
Guyâs eyes flew to the little rounded pads of flesh on Mikeyâs side, the skin starting to crease and mark the area more clearly: love handles, without a shadow of a doubt. âHo, ho!â he blasted in amusement. âLook at you!â he marvelled, reaching his big hand down onto his neighborâs glute and finding it was squishy and significantly bouncier, with clearly added mass to it. âSomeone is actually getting chubby!â he teased, absolutely astonished with the difference. That skinny little ass was gone, replaced with something much more meaty and even a little feminine.
Despite his tiredness, Mikey wrigged with arousal at the touch as Guy began playing with the softness that even spread down into his thighs. He rolled over; his erection already sizable as he tried to open his eyes and look towards Guy, even with the harsh light coming in through the window behind him.
What was happening to Mikeyâs chest? Guy inspected further. The nipples seemed softer and the blubbery build up in the boyâs love handles was further spread across his stomach, deepening his belly button. âStand up,â Guy demanded. âI want to look at you properly.â
Mikey did as he was told, Guy placed his hands on the boyâs shoulders, guiding him over to the mirror, so that he could see all angles at once.
âFuck!â Guy laughed, seeing what a transformation had been silently happening behind his back. He felt proud. The biggest complaint people had about Mikey, here in the dorms, was that he was a fairly dull and boring person. Well, look at him now! This was hardly boring. The kinky little fucker was actually doing something none of them would ever have the guts to do. âIâm pleased,â Guy told him honestly, looking at his face in the reflection. âHow does it feel for you?â
At this Mikeyâs hands began exploring himself, grabbing at the fat and jiggling where he could with the tips of his fingers. âAmazing!â he whispered back, bursting with arousal.
âWell thenâŠâ Guy smiled, placing his hand back on Mikeyâs chubby glute: his favorite new feature by far. â...You have to keep going,â he stated. âKeep eating and eating. Add more and more fresh fat onto this frame of yours.â
âI will,â Mikey nodded back obediently. âIf itâs what you want. Iâll keep going as far as I can!â
Guy had never seen Mikeyâs dick dribbling with arousal so easily. If this weight gain and submission was what aroused him so much, there was no way he could let it stop. âItâs what I want,â Guy agreed. âI want you to grow a proper fat belly, just for me.â
The pair kissed. Guy had never felt Mikey moan and collapse into him quite so much; like a ragdoll, ready to be played with.
âI know whatâll helpâŠâ Guy laughed, pulling down his pants and tugging on his own semi-erection until it was pumped and hard. âLetâs lubricate your throat ready for a full day of eating,â he joked cheekily.
Immediately, Mikey slipped to his knees. His jaws opened and he hungrily took the whole of Guyâs enormous erection down his throat like no one else on campus could. It took Guy by surprise each time, how instantaneous the pleasure was. He had to spread his legs a little more and reach one hand out to steady himself on the wall for fear that he may fall over. He didnât need to press Mikeyâs head into his crotch. The boy needed no guidance in the slightest. It was all just so perfect.
An involuntary moan escaped Guyâs lips. Now that his fuck buddy was getting fat, he wouldnât have to worry about someone trying to steal him away. Mikeyâs mouth was all his.
No one on campus was aware that Guy and Mikey were anything more than casual acquaintances, and so no one was cautious about discussing Mikey weight gain around Guy. The overall feeling was one of amusement. In many ways, it was understandable. Mikey had indeed been incredibly thin at the start of the year and he was heading towards the summer looking significantly softer and padded. For the most part, Guy simply ignored it, or tried to move the conversations away. He wasnât about the campus drama and the behind the scenes bad-mouthing like some of the others. Sure, people were going to talk, but they didnât have the full story in the same way that Guy did.
The final football game of the season arrived and Guy was pumped for it. He didnât get nervous like the others seemed to. He was also bigger than everyone else on the field, not weighed down by excess weight, making him lighter on his feet than the opposition ever expected from him. Heâd been buzzing the entire morning, heading to the gym for a full session despite the advice from his coach to rest that morning. He simply had too much energy to spare. He knocked on Mikeyâs door wondering whether the boy was up for a little fun before he had to leave. Unlike everyone else in the dorms, Mikey never came down to the games. He simply wasnât into sports, and that was fair enough. In fact, Mikey seemed entirely oblivious to the fact that it was even taking place that day, answering the door and ushering Guy inside excitedly.
âLook what I bought!â the chubby boy smiled, leading Guy over to his desk where a large, round cake sat waiting for a party of twenty people to come in and start feasting upon it. âIâm going to try and eat it all this afternoon!â he beamed.
Guy chuckled to himself, seeing the erection already pressing against Mikeyâs sweatshorts. âYou go for it, buddy!â he smiled, clapping the boy on his back. His enthusiasm for overeating and putting on weight was almost infectious at times. He lifted the plastic lid and swept his finger around the edge, gathering a decent amount of cream which Mikey excitedly sucked off.
âDo you want to feed it to me?â Mikey asked, pulling his shirt off to reveal his softening torso.
Inwardly, Guy sighed with disappointment. How long would that take? He had to leave in twenty minutes or so, and if Mikeyâs mouth was going to be occupied that entire time, there was no chance of a quick blow job.Â
âHow aboutâŠâ Guy began, lifting his own shirt off and dropping his shorts and underwear, â...we both have a little fun at the same time?â
âWhat did you have in mind?â Mikey asked, watching as Guy pulled out the lubricant from the drawer and squirted it into his hand.
Guy looked down at him with a smirk. Then he reached a hand into Mikeyâs crack and began preparing the area, making the boy moan with arousal as his large fingers brushed and gently penetrated. Mikey pulled down his underwear to help him and was soon leaning into it so much that Guy could give him a decent warm up.
Having a firm press down on his back, Mikey obediently slipped onto all fours. Guy reached for the cake and placed it underneath the boyâs face. âReady?â he asked, reaching for Mikeyâs jaw, as if loosening it up for better movement and stretch.
Mikeyâs eyes were on the prize. His head was lowered down into it, perhaps more than he was expecting, his nose now pressing into the sponge and his tongue lapping it all up with ferocious speed.
Guy assumed his position, grabbing a condom, sliding his hardness into Mikeyâs gaping butt and sighing with pleasure. As blessed as most people told him he was with such a large dick, Guy found he was rarely allowed to settle into his own good rhythm when penetrating. There was simply too much of him to handle. WIth Mikey, however, the boy just seemed to relax so much, it was like total freedom for Guy. After wincing the initial time they had tried this, Mikey took to it with ease. He was the only one Guy could properly deliver what he referred to as a âthorough poundingâ.
Through the mirror, Guy could see that Mikeyâs face was now covered in cake as he tried to gorge himself at the same time as his body was getting pumped from behind. Guy laughed, happy to take the control that Mikey offered up so willingly. âCome on!â he chuckled. âYou can do better than that!â he called out encouragingly, seeing Mikeyâs tongue scrabbling about trying to lick up as much as he could.
The fat on Mikeyâs back had really come a long way since they had last done this. The love handles in particular seemed to ripple and bounce out of sync with the rest of his body. The bones in his shoulder blades were less severe and an emerging softness appeared to be forming just under his arms. However, the boyâs butt was the centerpiece; the way it was spread so wide and felt so much softer to the touch as Guy gripped on.
A moan started emanating from Mikey. In the mirror, his eyes were rolling up into his head. He began oinking - actually oinking, as he continued to gorge himself. Guy sped up. There was nothing he got off to more than seeing someone else genuinely getting lost in the moment. Mikey was letting go like never before.
âThatâs it!â Guy cried out. âOink like a pig!â
Without even a hand anywhere near his own hardness, it was obvious that Mikey was climaxing. His face fell upon the cake and he groaned louder than he ever had during sex before. The whole thing made the pleasure build upon Guy with rapid speed; almost taken by surprise as he felt himself squirt.
Guy wiped the sweat from his brow and sighed in relief. Heâd rarely felt so completely satisfied before. He pulled out, stopping only momentarily to chuckle at the wide, gaping hole he left behind, then unpeeled the condom and began dressing himself. The mess was everywhere, cake smashed into the carpet that would take some time to scrub out.
âThanks for that,â Guy smiled, looking down at the fat boy who had rolled onto his doughy rear and not even attempted to clean any of the cake off his face yet. He too seemed to be enjoying momentary bliss, grabbing at the first roll of his fattened stomach like it was the most precious thing in the world. Guyâs work was done here.
During the summer months, Guy had sweet talked his way into an internship with a local company, hoping to boost his CV for when he finished his degree in a further two years. He didnât need to be told that his pretty face would be an asset for the company, but he was surprised at how much more he was interacting with the clients than the others in his position. A well fitting shirt and a tight pair of pants never failed to make things easier for him to charm pretty much everyone he was around. Already, he could see how well suited he was to business; his boss realising what a force to be reckoned with Guy could one day become. "This guy is going to take over the world one day!" she'd laughed as Guy pulled in new clients from a sponsorship event that he had organised entirely by himself.
Guy had also briefly dated a couple of girls, wanting to experience the steamy âsummer loveâ of his old high school days. However, he still had no intentions of settling down for anyone. Not a chance!
Mikey, meanwhile, had taken a job at a fast food restaurant back in his hometown; returning to campus that year looking like he hadnât stopped eating the entire time. Quite a few of them had applied to stay in the dorms and been successful, but there was still plenty of fresh meat for Guy to enjoy about the place.
Guy remembered being quite taken aback when he saw the full stomach on Mikey after their time apart. It had morphed from a tight paunch to a full starter gut, complete with pointed and juicy-looking nipples. Had the boy seriously eaten nothing but fast food all summer? A simple rub of Mikeyâs stomach or jiggle of his fleshy rear never failed to get the new chub horny, and Guy was all in for that. He thought back to the previous year and how forward heâd had to be with shy Mikey just to let him know that he was interested. Sex had not been a part of Mikeyâs life before then, and now look at him: his entire body turned into a playhouse of his kinkiest sexual fantasies! Guy felt nothing but pride.
âYou knew Mikey from last year, right?â asked Samantha, a clearly high-maintenance fresher girl who had moved in last week. âMaybe you can get through to him.â
âWhy?â Guy asked, wondering what seemed to be so urgent.
âYou need to let him know that we donât want to see his belly hanging out anymore. Heâs just bent down into the refrigerator and I had about four inches of his butt crack staring back at me!â
Guy laughed. âIs that all?â he sighed in relief. âI thought something was wrong.â
Samantha exhaled in shock. âSomething is wrong!â she blasted. âHe canât be allowed to keep walking around in clothes that are that tight! Itâs disgusting!â
âLeave him be,â Guy shrugged. âYou donât need to be around him if you donât want to.â
âThere are some guys who make fun of him on his course,â Samantha pressed on. âIf heâd just wear a damn sweatshirt or something to try and make himself look like less of a target, Iâm sure theyâd leave him alone.â
At this, Guy stood up from his chair, suddenly filled with anger. âWhoâs been making fun of him?â he demanded, ready to go and see to them, right there and then.
âMikey is the one who needs speaking to!â Samantha shot back. âGo ask him who the guys are. Maybe you can talk some sense into him.â
Shaking his head with annoyance, Guy stormed down the corridor and let himself into Mikeyâs room without even knocking. The boy was sitting at his desk, still pushing a large tray of cream cakes he had collected from the refrigerator when he had offended Samantha so much. He turned in surprise, seeing Guy bursting in on him like this.
âWhoâs making fun of you on your course?â Guy asked, closing the door behind him.
Mikey smiled; his chubby cheeks and chin showing all the more. âOh, you heard about that?â he chuckled. âA couple of the new freshmen: Dan and Alec.â
âYouâll need to point them out to me,â Guy demanded, clearly annoyed. âIâll soon sort them out.â
Mikeyâs face was one of pure amusement. âNot everything is a problem that needs fixing,â he simply replied, pushing a cream cake into his mouth.
âWhat is it they say to you?â Guy pressed on.
Mikey chewed and swallowed. âOh, lots of things!â he giggled. âFat Boy, Pig, Piggy, Lardass!â
Guy could feel his heart beating faster with frustration However, Mikey seemed entirely relaxed and happy. âWait a minuteâŠâ Guy stopped him. âIs this one of those things..?â he pondered. âAre you⊠Do you get off on this? The guys treating you that way?â
Mikey raised his eyebrows cheekily, not needing to say anything further.
âThatâs why your clothes are so tight this year, isnât it? You actually want people to comment?â Guy asked next, feeling like he had delved further than ever before into the mind of his part-time lover.
Again, Mikey only pressed a cake into his mouth and smirked.
Guy felt all the pent-up frustration in him release. A great wave of affection for Mikey swept through him and he reached out a hand to pull the chubby boy up from his chair, leaning him back into his great arms like he was trying to seduce him all over again. âYouâre the kinkiest little fucker Iâve ever come across,â he smiled with delight. âYou know that right?â
Mikey swallowed and grinned back. âYou started this,â he stated, rubbing his easily accessible belly fat as his overly short t-shirt rode up.
Guy looked down at the boyâs gut and nodded. âI sure did!â he teased. âAnd what a good piggy youâve turned out to be!â he smirked, trying the word out now he knew a little more about how it excited Mikey.
The chub seemed to melt into him further. They kissed and then quickly undressed for the inevitable.
The Spring was upon them once again as Guy invited Mikey over to his room for a quiet evening together. Mikey always seemed more aroused to be in Guyâs room for whatever reason. Perhaps it was the knowledge that Guy had fucked and pleasured so many people between those sheets of his. The large athlete was sitting propped up against the headboard, romantically caressing Mikey as he leant against his naked chest and watched a movie with him.
Watching movies was not usually Guyâs thing. Heâd often been accused of having an attention difficulty in school, making him restless and troublesome in class, despite the high grades he always came away with. But here, with Mikey, Guy felt complete relaxation, rubbing that fat stomach that had been grown for him and laughing together at the funny parts of the picture.
âThereâs actually a gainer event happening not too far away in a couple of months,â Mikey explained, scrolling through his cell phone.
âWhen is it?â Guy asked. âI can take you.â
Mikey mumbled nervously. âIâm not so sure itâs my thingâŠâ he fretted. âIâd be too nervous.â
At this, Guy laughed. âNervous? You?â He rubbed Mikeyâs large stomach. The boy was now a full one hundred and twenty pounds heavier than he had been when the pair met over eighteen months ago, standing at a full two hundred and sixty pounds despite his fairly average height. Heâd battled name-calling, family disapproval and public wardrobe malfunctions aplenty. âYouâre the bravest person I know.âÂ
Again, Mikey grumbled in disagreement.
Guy quickly did an internet search on his cell phone and found it himself. âThere!â he declared a minute later, putting his cell phone back on the bed beside him. âTwo tickets. One for me, and one for my lardass!â he teased, kissing Mikey on the back of his head and squeezing him once more. âIâlll book us a nice hotel later too.â Picking up a few modelling jobs had definitely helped make Guyâs life a little easier of late, and there was no one who deserved a treat more.
As the date approached, Mikey had gone into a frenzy of calorie consuming, determined to look the part for a gainer event. The boy was just a frustrating couple of pounds shy of three hundred when Guy took his chubby little hand and led him inside.Â
Guy had never seen so many huge men in the same room and they eyed him suspiciously until they saw that his hand was placed appreciatively on Mikeyâs broad butt as they stood to the side of the dancefloor.
âThere are still quite a few small guys,â Guy whispered to Mikey, who had been worried about not being fat enough for weeks. âA few dad bods with only a little gut to show for themselves.â
Mikey nodded, feeling better and more relaxed as others started coming up to them, wanting to know their story.
âThat personâs been checking you out all night,â Guy nodded over at a slender and handsome man in the corner.
âNo he hasnât,â Mikey shot back.
âTrust me, when people arenât checking me out, I notice,â Guy replied. âHeâs definitely interested in you.â
Mikey smiled, rather flattered.
âWho knows, he might be open to a littleâŠâ Guy winked, having learned recently that Mikey had a small fantasy about having a threesome. Guy waved his arm and beckoned the man over to them, despite Mikeyâs nervous protests.
The admirer introduced himself as Henry and he admitted to having attended plenty of these types of events in the last few years. âWhatâs your weight?â he asked Mikey; an outrageous question in any other circumstances but these.
Guy jumped in to answer. âHeâs just hit three-twenty,â he lied. He was only one hundred and forty pounds two years ago.â
âThatâs impressive!â Henry nodded, clearly more interested than ever.
âHeâs been a high achiever his whole life,â Guy smiled, wrapping his strong large arm over Mikeyâs shoulders with pride.
Henry wanted to know more about their situation and circumstances. Were they an item? Was it casual? Was Guy really a feeder? But when the time came to ask him if he wanted to come back to the hotel with them, Henry did not decline. They stopped for takeout on the way, with Henry very clearly getting off on how much Mikey was able to eat: being so assertive with the chub, clearly setting high expectations from the start. Then they all headed back, making every pleasurable second all about Mikey; just as he deserved.
At the end of another summer, Guy and Mikey embarked upon their final year of college. Mikeyâs weight had continued to creep up, with his face now properly framed by a large double chin and his upper arms finally starting to puff up and broaden him up a bit.
âI actually met up with Henry a couple of times this summer,â Mikey explained casually as the pair of them lay awkwardly facing each other on the narrow single bed in Guyâs room.
Guy instantly felt ashamed of the giant wave of jealousy that washed over him. Heâd slept with a countless number of people during their casual sex games of the last two years, yet he begrudged Mikey even this little thing in return. Still, he tried not to show his feelings, diligently asking questions and smiling encouragingly, as if this was all positive news.
âHenry really knows how to push me to eat,â Mikey went on. âIâve never eaten as much in my life! And it was all the type of stuff that he knew would only make me fatter.â
Guy nodded, concealing the inadequacy he felt. Heâd never really been what Mikey had wanted. He only knew the absolute basics of the feedism kink Mikey was so into and had, for the most part, got away without having to sit through many of the tedious feeding sessions Mikey seemed to enjoy so much. This whole affair with Mikey had started because Guy hadnât wanted anyone to take the champion blow-job boy away from him, yet he had unknowingly opened the floodgates during that fairly average threesome he had been a part of back at the gainer event. âAre you meeting up with him again?â he asked casually.
âHeâs coming here in December,â Mikey squeaked excitedly. âBut heâs given me strict instructions to continue to eat and grow before then. I honestly think he wants me to be absolutely huge!â
Guy smiled back at him, despite the sadness he felt. Mikey was undoubtedly slipping away from him.
That December, Guy had been away with the football team during the weekend of Henryâs visit. Even so, Mikeyâs weight had continued to increase at an almost alarming rate, both before and after the feeder had called over. It had been spurred on by the many messages and video calls the pair had made, despite the great geographical distance between them. Guy had so many other things on his mind, he tried to convince himself that it didnât bother him, but he was never fully successful. Mikey himself was now entirely unrecognisable, coated with giant amounts of fat all over his body. His frame had widened, with fat spilling out from his round gut and his nipples sagging right onto his swollen midsection. He walked slowly about the campus, usually carrying a backpack filled with fattening supplies from the nearby supermarket in order to further his weight gain. Likewise, Henry had begun ordering fast food to the dorms, increasing Mikeyâs intake even more and ensuring that the boy had surpassed three hundred and eighty pounds by April.
Guy knew that he couldnât get away with avoiding Henry a second time when he stopped by for an entire week that Spring, just before the final exam season got underway. The conversation was polite, but it was obvious that Henry wanted more time alone with Mikey, rather than having Guy tagging along.
âLetâs be realâŠâ Henry stated at the end of the week, taking advantage of the fact that Mikey had gone to the bathroom at the restaurant he was treating the two of them to a meal at. âYouâre not actually a feeder, are you?â
âWhat does that matter?â Guy shrugged. âIâve done pretty well getting Mikeyâs weight up. He would still be that skinny little twig if it wasnât for me.â
Henry shook his head and laughed. âNo he wouldnât!â he replied dismissively. âMikey is a fat boy, through and through! Iâve never come across anyone like him. If you hadnât been there, he would have found some other excuse to start piling the pounds on. Itâs just in him. Heâs meant to be absolutely enormous.â
Guy didnât have a response. In reality, heâd known as much from the very beginning. Mikey had never needed much encouragement to overeat, and heâd always seemed propelled to fatten by some force greater than a basic kinky subservience kink to Guy himself.
âIâm going to ask him to move with me to Phoenix when he finishes college next month,â Henry announced; his tone one of uncompromising assertiveness.
âPhoenix?â Guy gasped in alarm. âBut Iâll never see him!â
âWhat the hell did you think he was going to do when he finished college? Youâve got a job lined up here in the city, but what is there for Mikey? He doesnât have any family here. You really expected him to just hang around for you?â
Guy exhaled, knowing that they couldnât carry the conversation on with the fattened Mikey trotting back towards the table. He ground his teeth together, wondering how best to fight this plan to uproot Mikeyâs entire life and move him to Phoenix. But then he witnessed the boyâs delight the next day as Henry made the offer, and witnessed the tears days later as Henry had to leave him once more. It was over. Mikey had found the one he was really meant to be with.
âYouâll come and visit me, right?â Mikey asked as Guy dropped the last of Mikeyâs stuff in the back of Henryâs truck a few weeks later.
âOf course I will,â Guy nodded, trying to hold back on how cut up he felt that his time with Mikey was now over. âJust you try and stop me!â
The pair hugged warmly.
Next, Henry came up and shook Guyâs hand. Despite the silent animosity between them, there was an air of respect. Henry had been right, after all. Mikey needed a lot more than Guy could give him. This was the life that the fat boy coveted and deserved. But Henry was no idiot either. He knew what Guy was giving up; that he had fallen in love with the boy, and that his love was not returned; at least, not in the same way.
âCome on, Fatso!â Henry smiled, patting Mikey on his wide, blubbery butt. âWeâd best hit the road.â
Guy stood looking into the distance long after the truck went out of sight. One very massive chapter of his life had just ended, and another was about to begin.
#gainer fiction#gainer stories#gay feedee#gayfeeder#gainerstories#gainer story#gainerfic#gayfeedee#gainerstory#gainer fic
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playing dangerous.
c.w: gun play, peacekeeper coriolanus, fingering, rough sex, throatfucking, slapping, degrading, breeding, hate fucking, unproctected sex
based on this ask ! hope you like it anon, sorry if i got anything wrong. mwah
you could say a lot of things about coriolanus snow. you could say he was mentally unstable, that he was a whiny bitch who would throw a tantrum at any small thing that made him angry.
however, you couldn't say he was a bad fuck. not when he had your face pressed down and a gun pointed at your sopping cunt. you couldn't say he was ugly either, not with that white peacekeeper uniform hugging his body so well.
"don't worry," he whispered, biting your shoulder, "it only has one bullet." he smiled, chuckling at your clear despair, a total contrast to your soaked panties. "not as if you care, though"
"of course i do! fuck it, snow. you're the reason people call cops bastards!" you said, frowning at him as if your hips weren't bucking up on the gun. you didn't even knew if what he said was actually true.
"you should be grateful i'm not playing russian roulette on your pussy, darling." he said, thanking heaven's he handcuffed your hands before all that. "if you don't like it, i know just the right place to aim it. other than that perverted wet pussy of yours. are you a pervert? god, you're soaking wet" he said, grinding the gun in your cunt.
"aim it at your head, you sickfuck." you spat, not bothering looking at him.
"i don't know if you noticed but i have a gun pointed to your pussy, if you don't wanna get shot you should start being a good girl instead of a manic bitch." he said, slapping your ass and making your body jolt.
how the hell did it come to this?! you remembered that he had returned home after deployment and your parents made you go over to his house to give him some sweet dessert as a way to âthank him for his services.â fuck it. you hated him. if depended on you, he would have been killed by a rebel or something, but god, that's the best dick you've ever seen or felt, even if through grinding. you would never admit it to him though.
"on your knees, please." he said, a fake chivalry on his sadistic tone. and did you have any other options? of course not. so now you were on your knees, gulping down and watching him unbuckle his pants, his hand slapping your face lightly to make you wake up and stop looking so much at his eight inches shaft. "god, you're drooling so much just from looking. guess i won't have to aim a gun to your head for you to suck it." he said, and you stared at him with anger.
"you better kill me already cause i am not sucking that thing." you said.
well, all your defenses were throw away as he pointed the loaded gun to your head, smiling as you opened your mouth and engulfed him obediently, still looking at him with that angry stare in your eyes, that was soon replaced with tears as you took him. god, how could a dick taste so good?
"fuck, you're taking me so good, doll." he said, smiling as you drooled on his dick, getting it all wet from your saliva. "making such a mess, crying so much... you're so pretty when you're not running your mouth around so much." he said, grabbing your hair and making you curse mentally before he started to fuck your throat, his balls meeting your chin as you took him, giving in as you moaned against his cock.
too aggressive, you thought. but it was just as good as you imagined it to be. and he was getting just what he wanted to. he was fucking that attitude out of you, your throat taking him so well he only wondered how good it would feel to fuck your cunt. with that thought in mind, he pulled back of your mouth, and you thought you were really dumb from how you tried to get him to thrust into your mouth again. you wanted to taste him, and he couldn't help but chuckle at your despair.
"i didn't even had a proper taste of your cunt and you're already dumb? thought you were stronger." he said, getting you to stand up as you were still salivating. he cleaned your tear stained cheeks, the softest thing he would do to you today. so, ripping your panties and seeing your cunt, he thrusted two fingers in it, not mindinho if you were uncomfortable. your wetness made it very clear that you weren't anywhere close to discomfort or pain. and your moans did it too.
"fuck it, get away, coriolanus!" you pleaded, not wanting to be the one moaning his name that night. and he didnât even bother listening to you, too occupied with thrusting his entire lenght inside of you. it felt horribly good, his hot cock sloppily fucking your pussy as he fucked you in missionary, holding your left thigh to hug his waist just so he could have a better access to you. so good. so hot. it felt perfect.
you felt dumb.
your eyes closed shut as you did your best to hold in your moans, letting out a few groans and grunts as he slapped your ass, getting a hold of your other thigh and fucking you with your back against the wall, your eyes looking into his. fuck. you prayed to god that he wouldnât end up making you say something, but god didn't seem to want to help you.
"tell me, doll," he started, groaning against your lips. "who does this pussy belongs to?" he asked, and you did your best not to answer, but the way your hips were trying to buck against his seemed as an answer. "words, bunny. use your words."
"n-no. no- i won't- fuck!" you moaned, lips opened slightly as you couldn't help but let your moans out of your mouth. you just wanted to cum already. it was too brain-mushing for you to do something other than moan and squeeze his dick inside you.
"tell me, or i'm not gonna let you cum." he said, brushing the gun on your clit, the cold metal making you mewl and cry.
"i-it's yours, c-coryo. it's yours. i'm sorry! please let me cum!" you begged, crying. he smiled, kissing your cheek and tasting your salty tear drop.
"i don't recall letting you call me coryo, bunny." he said, his dick kissing your cervix as you felt it throbbing inside you.
"o-officer! fuck, i'm sorry!" you slurred, and finally he had what he wanted.
he finally fucked the attitude out of you. not only that but he also got his dick wet. it was perfect.
"good girl." and you came, shaking on his cock as he kept thrusting in you, running for his climax.
once he did came inside you, he didnât allow you to clean yourself, made you walk and sleep with your pussy filled by his cum.
#coriolanus snow x reader#young coriolanus snow#young president snow#tbosas smut#the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus x you#x reader#peacekeeper!coriolanus snow#đ anon
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How would the l&ds men react if they find out about you telling your bestfriend about what happens between you two in bed ?
Xavier , Zayne , Rafayel and Sylus x reader (separately)
requests are open btw :)
Xavier
making yourself comfortable on the couch of your guys' living room , giggling and kicking your feet , totally letting your guard down thinking your handsome boyfriend is still napping .
"I'm telling you tara he may look nice and gentle , but in bed?? noo that guy is the exact opposite of gentle , not that I hate it though" , this was a message sent to your best friend Tara while you girls were discussing how the intimate time with your boyfriends is like.
Xavier passes through the hallway and notices your little giggles and the way you were pretty glued to your phone's screen , curious , he enters the living room without you noticing and gets behind you , and yes he pretty much read everything before you finally noticed him standing behind your back .
you were met with his raised eyebrow and a look on his face that clearly says *really?* , "Xavier what--" he cuts you off "I'm the one who should be questioning you right now , don't you think?" he sighs and proceeds "honey ..what is that , that you're doing?" , you hide your phone behind your back , your cheeks heating up "I mean....nothing important? " , he sits besides you making sure to face you , "nothing important?" you could sense the teasing tone in his voice , he's mocking you "ok , ok i know it might seem weird but it's just tara you know ?" you say brushing it off, "lovely I know you're close with tara but.. to that extent?" he asks , "yeah don't worry it's pretty normal between us....I mean this isn't our first time talking about...this.." xavier raises his eyebrow again but this time in amusement.
"well then" he gets closer to you then raises your chin with his hand "why don't I give you two more stuff to talk about?" with one swift motion , he ripped the buttons off your shirt staring dangerously into your eyes while at it "you make sure you tell her exactly of what is about to happen to you" he mocks you with a wicked grin.
Zayne
You've been waiting for your husband to pick you up from your work place for quite sometime now , however, thankfully your best friend Tara decided to keep you company while you wait for his arrival.
and somehow your conversation had took a rather an interesting turn , "ohh zayne is almost never gentle during it" you say sighing then proceeding "but it is because I , most of the time , rile him up" you remarked proudly , tara gets intrigued "ohhh? do tell your secret" ,she gets closer eager to get some tips from you , "darling" a voice cuts you both off , and you both flinch at the sudden voice coming between you , "it seems like a very important topic you both are discussing , but I'm afraid we have to go home" he says this with the most normal collected tone ever , like you two weren't just talking about his habits in the bedroom , tara gets embarrassed and excuse herself , but she does shoot you a look of "good luck" before leaving you two to be.
on the way home zayne never mentioned it , in fact he was asking how was work today and some other normal questions , so the ride was quite peaceful.
however as soon as you guys are in the house , he finally comments "so I'm almost never gentle huh?" he says so out of the blue with a smirk on his face , catching you off guard , you were hoping he'd actually ignore it and never mention it "well? am I wrong tho??" you reply trying to save some face by attacking him , "no you aren't" he says simply , "but only because almost everytime you rile me up" he said emphasizing the 'you' in the sentence , "zayneee" you whine "stop teasing me ok? you might think it's weird but it's quite normal between girlfriends to.....gossip" you said the last word while hiding your face in the palm of your hands , he chuckles at your state , approaching you he grabs your hands removing them from your face to look at you all flustered , but you moved your gaze away looking at everything in the room but him , "darling look at me" he says gently , and you can't help but fold "I'm not mad , but in fact a little invested in what you tell her" now his tone changes from a gentle to a very teasing one again "I'm pretty sure you've told her about what makes you feel good" he whispers in your ears seductively determined on teasing you , you pause for a few moments but ending up nodding to him defeated , "well then I guess you have to tell me as well , providing me with specific details that is".
Rafayel
it wasn't weird for you that rafayel drags you beside him sometimes , when he wants to paint , he claims that he's able to concentrate better when you're by his side.
but the more your boyfriend painted, the more focused he became, giving you the perfect opportunity to answer the texts tara sent you earlier, unnoticed .
"so you were talking about how your boyfriend is such a tease huh?" tara's texted "yeah exactly , this man has no shame he'd tease me at his workplace sometimes" you reply not knowing that you were smiling unintentionally while writing this, "although i can't say I dislike the thrill that comes with it" you add completely absorbed in the conversation , not noticing your boyfriend who's been trying to talk to you for a minute now , he eventually gives up and snatches the phone out of your hand bringing it up to his face "what's got you so entertained that you forgot about my presence?" he said looking through the screen trying to identify the reason , "rafayel don't---" you said trying to get your phone back before you get busted
"too late my love too late" he winks then gives the phone back to you willingly "I saw everything" he says leaning back relaxed , totally unbothered , but rather amused , and this got you more nervous than you already were , you wanted to say something to defend yourself , you really did ,however you didn't find any .
"ohhh you poor little girl" rafayel mocks getting closer , "seems like the cat got your tongue" his hands are now resting on your hips feeling them up and down slowly "I should tease you like I always do" he parts your legs with a swift motion startling you "only then I could get your sweet sounds to come out".
Sylus
sylus was never the one to pry , but when he overhead you on the phone with tara , he raised an eyebrow.
he had heard some very interesting remarks coming from you , of how he left you breathless and weak in the knees last night , all described in thorough details .
You didn't even notice him standing in the doorway until his deep voice cut off your conversation .
"so that's what you tell your friends?"his tone was a mix of amusement and curiosity , you jumped , clutching the phone to your chest "uhh sylus....I didn't see you there" you said flashing him an innocent smile .
his gaze lingred on you for a while , scanning you , before speaking "I wasn't aware our nights were a topic of discussion between you two" he says crossing his arms.
you huffed , setting your phone aside still red faced , "well it's normal , ok??" you explained defensively "girls share these things with eachother , and tara is the one that I go to for....stuff".
"Stuff?" sylus repeated clearly enjoying watching you flustered , he moved closer backing you against the wall as he leaned down , his face inches from yours , "care to share exactly what kind of 'stuff' you told her?".
you tried to maintain your composure , but your face kept heating up at the memory of the stuff you told her "just ...you know??" you muttered, looking anywhere but his eyes , "no I don't know kitten , speak up" .
you huff again "I...might've mentioned...how rough you are" you admitted , voice barely audible , sylus on the other hand was satisfied with the answer "I see" he hummed with dark amusement , leaning to whisper in your ear "next time , I'll make sure there are a few things you can't quite put into words".
#l&ds#lnds#love and deepspace#rafayel#sylus#Xavier#Zayne#love and deepspace fluff#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader
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awe yandere nerd is so cute!! i wonder how someone who acts oppositely to them would act as a yandere.
-đ anon
ooh youâre so right đ anon, a yandere jock or popular kid would be interesting.. so here u are!
⧠yandere jock x reader
yandere jock who is one of the most popular guys at your university, everyone knows him. he plays basketball and is so charming that girls (and guys!) can't help but want to be around him, his handsome features totally help too.
yandere jock who you'd had some classes with in your freshman year. however, you hadn't seen him after that and forgot about him. but he couldn't forget about you
yandere jock who actually didnât like you when he first met you, he thought you were too much of a doormat. he assumed off your quiet nature and antisocial tendencies that you couldnât stand up for yourself or make your own decisions. and boy was he wrong
yandere jock who stumbles into you after class, well not really cause you hadnât seen him yet. he watches a girl say somthing and shove you by your shoulder and he mentally scoffs âshe gets bullied too? weâre in university i thought sheâd grow a backbone by nowâ
yandere jock who is flabbergasted when you punch the girl straight in her face, she stumbles back, shocked, and curses you before running out the door and past yandere jock
yandere jock who is intrigued by your personality, so this is who you actually were. he tries to get closer to you: sitting beside you in lectures, talking to you after class, but just seem to hate him. often shutting down interactions or using the excuse that youâre busy to get away.
yandere jock who is frustrated but still dedicated, atleast until that semester ended. heâs annoyed because he never sees you anymore, and now that you didnât have a shared class itâs even harder to catch you.
yandere jock who has you on his mind for the next two years, trying to make conversation with you whenever you saw he saw you. but the confused expression on your face said it all, your forgotten who he was.
yandere jock whoâs fucking pissed, he spent two years thinking about you and you donât even remember who he is? he makes it his life goal to make himself relevant to you. even if his ways were a bit.. unorthodox.
yandere jock who starts to pick on you, pushing you in the halls and spreading rumors about you. youâre confused, what did you even do to him? when you ask him, he just responds with âdo i need a reason to?â with a tight grin.
quiet you who is now pissed. who did he think he was? a fucking gift from god that could do anything he wanted? you responds back with shoulder checking him in the hallways and pretending that he was bullying you and other students to the professors (well he kind of was wasnât he?).
yandere jock who is mildly surprised, wow he knew you could fight back but this was different. he was flustered, you put all this effort into him?
yandere jock who retaliates with something a bit more extreme than you wouldâve anticipated, he manages to convince one of the teachers that you cheated on a important test. the end of the year exam.
quiet you who is frustrated and angry, youâd worked your ass off to get that 95% and now he does this? oh itâs over for him
yandere jock who gets expelled from the university a week later. the reason? illegal drugs were found in his sports locker, not only was this against the school code but it put the basketball team at risk.
quiet you who pretends to not know anything, smirking as you get back into your study grind
yandere jock who decides that you need to be taught a lesson, although heâs not allowed on campus anymore, the girls dorms are in the edge of campus.
you wake up in the dark, what time was it? oh, just 2 am. you try to go back to sleep and hear some fabric rustling and you freeze. in the moonlit darkness of your room you can vaguely make out a shadowy figure at the foot of your bed.
your eyes widen and before you can scream or react, the figure leaps up and slams a rough hand over your mouth while keeping your body down with his own weight.
just as he leans over you, you make out his face as the moonlights from your window hits it. a strong face with messy hair youâd seen many times before. you didnât think youâd see him again.
he grins manically, âyou thought you could mess with me, forget about me and get away with it?â his voice breathy, like he was about to break into laughter at any moment.
you shake your head desperately no, tears form in your eyes as you register whatâs going to happen to you.
he pressed you deeper into your pillow, your tears now running down your face and his hand. he then leans down to lick your salty tears off his hands and then your soft cheeks.
âfuck, iâll make you understand why you shouldnât forget about meâ
#yandere#x reader#female reader#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere oc#yandere male#obsessive yandere#yandere bully#yandere jock#yandere popular kid#yandere bully x reader#yandere jock x reader
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Oh those precious memories~
See I could tell myself that it's okay that I'm writing this because I am a catholic woman but let's be real those things just aren't true any more. So instead I am going to claim this as an emotional craving because of that time of the month. Definitely nothing along the lines of 10 year revival of my fanfiction writing phase. And it's totally, in no way related to any issues I might have. Totally sane, I tell you.
! 18+ Minors do not interact, I am NOT a fckn daycare!
Yandere! Hazbin Hotel x GN! Reader
Content warning: obsessive behaviour, stalking, slight NSFW (more in some parts then others), just a bunch of red flags and things that I do not condone irl
Charlie:
Honestly Charlie might be the most sane of the bunch in this regard
She isn't to interested in stealing anything from you, that is just not something she would be comfortable with â in general but especially with her Darling
However she doesn't mind keeping things that you let her borrow
It doesn't even matter what
You gave her a hair tie because one of hers broke? She'll cherish it forever
It was raining on a day she had to go out and you suggested she could use your umbrella? Pretty much hers now
Of course the greatest thing for her would be you lending her some of your clothes
She would most likely spend the next nights cuddling up to it in bed
Oh the frustration when the fabric no longer smells like you but rather her!
Yeah sure, she can give you your things back. She just forgot them in her room, oops! Don't worry she'll get them later
Unless she forgets again...
Vaggie:
She would never take anything you truly need or value
In all seriousness, Vaggie could never stand the idea of inconveniencing her Darling
However unlike Charlie she is just not close enough with you (yet) to count on you giving things to her
So instead she uses the position she has in the Hotel
There was a movie night with everybody invited?
Well somehow ever since the clean up the blanket you were cuddled up in is gone. Oh well, Vaggie will just get a new one, they weren't that expensive to begin with anyway (and if she is fast enough with it nobody is even going to notice anything)
Sadly those lucky occasions that allow her to grab some reminders of your shared time don't come around to often
And Vaggie respects you and herself to much to steal from you or go through your garbage bin
Thankfully she has the patience to wait for those windows of opportunity
And hey, since everything went relatively smoothly this week why not suggest another movie night to Charlie? Everyone involved seemed to enjoy it anyway â so there really is no harm done, right?
Angel:
Anybody who immediately thought of Angel stealing his Darling's underwear needs to take a cold shower!
Now don't get me wrong â he has thought about it
He does have a relatively high drive and desire for intimacy and sex
So sure the idea of taking something rather personal from you did cross his mind
But deep down Anthony just is a little sweetheart and he just couldn't take something like your underwear or other intimate items from you without any sort of consent
As for other, less private things
It doesn't matter if Angel and you have the same of different sizes â he WILL steal your clothes and wear them
If you wear make-up or nail polish he will definitely âborrowâ things â especially lipstick
Now if his Darling is somebody who likes to keep a lot of pillows or plushies in bed he is definitely not shy about taking things from that pile either. Although, depending on how well Darling keeps track of those things, he might only borrow them for a night or two â maybe rotating between some, making sure to leave them under the bed upon returning so it looks like it just fell off the mattress
Alastor:
Now Alastor is already rather torn apart when he first noticed his desire for your belongings
He never once though about stealing from you...until you forgot something in the lobby â a book, notebook, pen, whatever it was â it was just lying there on the table next to the couches
Ever the gentleman he obviously wanted to return it to you but something inside of him fought against the very idea of it. This might be the closet he gets to having you (at least for now), his Darling
As his obsession towards you continues to grow some of his past life's interests stir awake inside of him
One day whilst helping out you cut yourself on some damaged bit of furniture. Alastor is immediately there to offer you a handkerchief to stop the bleeding â a handkerchief that quickly becomes one of his most prised possessions
If his Darling has a period he might steal some...used goods
However in comparison to some of the others, he is a lot less hungry for souvenirs
Although that is really just because, unlike them, he can use his shadows to be around you whenever and as close as he pleases
Husk:
Husk would never just go into his Darling's room to steal things from them â even if the idea sounds lovely
No instead he just checks for things you leave behind
Now his job at the hotel really helps him with that
You almost exclusively talk at the bar (âRedemption Based Group Exercisesâ being the only real exception)
At this point he has a rather large collection of napkins that you used or doodled on
Sometimes they disgust him but then he looks at them, the little doodles (even just to test a pen) you left on some of them, all those marks of you (bonus points for lipstick stained napkins) and he just can't
The guilty feelings are even worse with a tissue you once cried it. It's just to close of a reminder of you to throw away!
Anything small that you forget at or close to the bar gets saved by him â pens, small pieces of paper, hair ties, buttons from your clothes, whatever really. If it's small and unimportant enough for you to not really miss it he is going to keep it
Nifty:
Nifty is easily the worst of them all
She is small, fast, obsession driven and the hotel's maid on top of that
What matters most to her is how close to your body her little mementos are (it's pretty much the same way in wish the catholic church determines the value of a saint's relic)
Nifty will most definitely collect hair out of your brush
Or rummage through your garbage bins
Now if somebody is going to steal used period products!
She just really doesn't value her Darling's privacy in the slightest so she has no issues going through every little crevice of your room to look for some âhidden treasuresâ
Although her favourite thing to do is sleep in your used bedsheets
She is going to wash them â don't worry! Simply just not without first sleeping in them herself for a bit
---------------------------------------------------------
Welp this is the first time in a long while that I've actually written fanfiction so I got those emotions to sort through I guess.
English is not my first language however given how arrogant I can be regarding my skills this should be well enough written. Prove reading was done by Open Office's spell checking system and my high ass.
#hazbin hotel x reader#yandere hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel imagine#yandere hazbin imagine#charlie x reader#charlie morningstar x reader#vaggie x reader#angel dust x reader#alastor x reader#radio demon x reader#husk x reader#niffty x reader#yandere charlie#yandere charlie morningstar#yandere vaggie#yandere angel dust#yandere alastor#yandere radio demon#yandere husk#yandere niffty#hazbin hotel reader insert
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unsolved (vii)
Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or shits left to give, to make things even worse. (Buzzfeed unsolved AU)
Warnings: swearing, frustrated bucky, obnoxious reader, mentions of hauntings and the paranormal.
A/N: hello. i am late again. i almost gave up but we are here. for better or for worse. i will most likely go back ad edit the second half again ok love u guys mwahmwah
Previous part || Series masterlist
Only after hours, nay, a full day of hunching over his desk, eyes red-rimmed and burning, four crushed cans of energy drinks next to him lending to him the nervous energy of a chihuahua, Bucky realises that thereâs no beating it.
He absentmindedly takes another sip of the RedBull, flinching when the taste registers. Either heâd reached his threshold or the medicine flavour had begun morphing into something else entirely. The caffeine didnât even work on him, so really, he was just placebo-ing himself into having energy.Â
Every site heâs visited has had a vastly different interpretation; ones that don't match what he thinks has been happening, or the context past his past provides. Others are simply blatantly wrong based on the additional research he, in his infinite wisdom and totally accurate self-assessment tendencies, has been gathering in the last 3 days.Â
The Star. Six of Cups. The Hanged Man.
Bucky knows he could ask someone in real life about this, someone who possibly had more experience than a simple website whose code broke every time he tried to scroll to the bottom. However, that would mean that he had to tell them his dead sister was probably haunting him out of her spite and hatred for the very fibres of his being.
Also, Bucky may be haunted by his dead relatives, but heâs not haunted enough to actually leave his room over it.Â
Video consultations were also an option, but heâs convinced that if word got out that Bucky Barnes was half-convinced ghosts were following him around, it would make headlines for a mighty long week.Â
Therefore, he resorts to shady, online websites that demand he pay up before giving him the results of the readings theyâve done for him.Â
The âladyâ that he paid to talk to using Steveâs credit card on mistytarot.com types for a very long time before a message comes through.
The thought bubble disappears for another half an hour, and Bucky thinks hat either she is a complete scam, or itâs run by someone who is about as technologically proficient as Steve was.Â
But a message does in fact come through, and itâs enough to have him be covninced that the 20 bucks he blew on Steveâs card was worth it.Â
Lady LiliaÂ
Considering that you think youâre being haunted, The Star could represent the absence of hope. Do you feel like youâre being trapped in darkness? As if you are being abandoned by the universe and with no room for healing?
B. Barneswell i forgot about it until now
Lady Lilia If your sister passed away a long time ago, the reason The Six of Cups may have presented itself is because you may be feeling like you're ensnared in the past, constantly reliving moments that hurt or confuse you, rather than finding peace.Â
A frown grows on his face.Â
Lady Lilia If youâre haunted by a person who used to be in your life and it is reminding you of past mistakes, The Hanged Man could be because feel like you're stuck in a cycle of stagnation, unable to move forward, as if these spirits are keeping you suspended in a state of emotional paralysis.Â
However, if the cards were uprightâ
Bucky slams the laptop shut, inhaling and exhaling sharply through his nose.
From the corner of his eye, his phone lights up with the fifth missed call in the last ten minutes, but considering that he keeps that thing on silent, he never even noticed.
Shoving aside whatever he may be thinking for the moment, he checks the caller ID, only for feelings of confusion and despair to be immediately replaced with annoyance, or disgust even.Â
He calls back anyway, preparing for the worst.Â
âDid you drink all my RedBull?â Clint booms the second he picks up.
âNo,â Bucky lies smoothly.
âFucker, I know it was you. Pay me back. With interest.â
âNo.â
Clint switches to whining. âYou know I need that shit to stay awake at night. Some of us donât have superhero cocaine in our system.â
âI donât care, go to sleep at a normal hour.â
âSay, did you drink every last one?â Clint instantly switches to a curious tone for a second. âBecause one of themâs not like the others.â
Bucky looks at the cans that littered his bedroom floor. âWhy?â
âI canât tell you what it is over the phone.â Â
âWhy?âÂ
âLetâs just say itâs not exactly allowed in the country, butââ
Bucky cuts the call and tosses it onto the bed.Â
He runs a hand through his hair, softly exhaling while contemplating whether or not to continue the chat. Steve wouldnât miss another 20 dollars, he had the wealth of a small prince with all that army back pay bullshit. In fact, Steve should ideally be funding more of Buckyâs endeavours.Â
There comes a knock at his door.
Bucky immediately leaps off the bed, sprinting to the door, because he fuckin knows that knock, goddamn itâ
He throws open the door before you get the chance to full body slam against it.
âOh.â You blink, relaxing away from your stance. âHey. Howâd you knowââ
âYou do this every week,â he breaks in. âYou do this multiple times a day.âÂ
âDonât you dare say Iâm predictable,â you warn, raising a finger. âIâll start crying right here, then youâll have to deal with that. You wanna see snot running down myââ
Bucky slams the door shut again, waiting to turn around.Â
âCan you take me to the doctor?â Your voice is muffled through the solid wood.
Itâs enough to make him hesitate, hand on the doorknob.
âWhatâs wrong with you?â he inquires..Â
âNothing, Iâm perfect,â you reply instinctively, before course correcting, âWait, no, Iâm sick.â Â
He lets his head drop against the door. âGo to the fucking infirmary.â
âThe infirmary told me to go to the hospital. Can you just take me?â you bug. âThey wonât discharge me unless I have someone with me to drive me back.â
âYou have a head injury?â Bucky asks, before following it with, âActually, that tracks.â
âRude.âÂ
âAsk Nat.â
âNatâs in Lagos.â
âAsk Sam.âÂ
âYoga.â
âClint.â
âReally.â
âGlad to know Iâm your first choice,â he mumbles, opening up the door.Â
You send him a blistering smile. âYouâre my favourite choice.âÂ
______
âYou gotta take this turn,â you instruct, too close to the actual crossing.Â
âThe nearest hospitalâs five minutes away, what the hell are you talking about?â he points out, eyes on the road.Â
âWeâre going to the one on Kingâs Road,â you read off of Google maps. âTake that lef-â well, you missed that. Now you gotta make a u-turn.â
âWhatâs the problem with Chastain Park?â he demands. âKingâs Road is half an hour away.â
âThis oneâs got all my files,â you insist. âOtherwise I gotta start over and it's so much effort.â
âArenât you in a database?â
âYeah, but not a medical one.â
Bucky lets out something akin to a growl and a groan. âWhat's the time?â
âLike eight thirty?â
âWhatâs the time,â he emphasises, because he most definitely had another email due from another lady on the internet who he had sent his cards to a few hours ago.Â
âFine, itâs eight twenty two,â you shoot back. âDid that make a big difference?â
âYeah, it did actually,â he fires indignantly, âMy life is radically different. You have no way of knowing.â
âLiar. Youâre a lying liar, who lies.â You scoff. âAnd details are for losers.â
âLosers can drive all the way back to drop you off at the infirmary and let them deal with you.â
You relent, flashing him a grin. âThis wonât take long.â
âYou say this every fuckinâ time,â he groans, before complying and taking a u-turn anyway.
âYouâre fucking joking,â he states.Â
âNo, itâs actually called lying,â you correct casually. Â
âIs this an abandoned hospital? What the fuck?â Bucky asks, staring up at the huge decaying building. Â
The outside looks run-down, with cracked, weathered brick walls and broken windows. The entrance is blocked off with rusted gates, some sections of which have fallen over. As the car rolls up, the air is thick with a musty, damp smell, mixed with a faint odor of decay.
âYes,â you say simply, opening the trunk of the car and pulling out all the supplies you had from last time. âVideo time. Letâs go.â
âYou didnât have to lie,â Bucky mumbles. âIâd have showed up.â
You give him a deadpan look. âYou famously never do.â
Thatâs fair, but also, that was the old Bucky. The new Bucky circa this week is a bit more⊠invested. He feels the need to gather some more information, and unfortunately, the only opportunity to do that is here.
So for the time being, he decides he will hang on. For purely selfish reasons.Â
âJust tell me next time,â he grunts.Â
You observe him for a second like you're about to call him out on something, but instead you simply say, âOkay.â
Bucky grabs his usual stuffâ the spirit box, a lapel mic, while you levitate the camera.Â
âHello?â
You both look beyond the camera at the same time to someone stalking up to you.
âWhoâs there?â demands a middle aged woman with straw blonde hair, wrinkles decorating sunburnt skin, and a navy blue jacket.Â
âUhââ
âWho are you?â she asks, cautiously stopping a few feet away. Â
âWeâre here on a video shoot,â you inform. âJust wanted to check the place out.â
âOh, youâre one of them camera folk,â she says, ponting her flashlight at you. âThose ghost hutner types.â
âThatâs us,â you agree, flinching from the bright light. âWe're from The Graveyard Shift.â
âWho are you?â Bucky cuts in, because why should only the both of you explain.Â
âIâve been working security here for the last thirty years.â She shines her flashlight at the musty place. âNameâs Brenda.â
âWhy does an abandoned hospital need a security guard?â Bucky inquires.Â
âManagement just underwent a shift. White collars are setting up a mall here, so they bought up the whole place, fired everyone and now theyâre gonna build an all year ski world or something in there.â Thereâs a tick in her jaw as she draws it out. âWhole damn place is cursed. They better hope it only burns down.â
âOkay,â you drag out, giving Bucky a sideways glance. âAnyway, weâre gonna go check out the place. See if we can find some ghosts.â
âOh, youâll see âem, alright. Everyone who was collateral damage in the buyout is still in there.â Her voice is distant, arm coming to rest on her hip. âYouâll have to hit up specific rooms. Yâall got a floorplan?â
âNo, figured weâd just wing it.â You pause. âHospital wing it.â
âShut up,â Bucky replies on instinct.Â
âYouâre gonna be spending a lot of time in there if yâall dont know where youreâ heading. Itâs a maze,â she continues, ignoring your brilliant joke. âI can show you the rooms, but I canât guarantee that it has ghosts in there.â Â
âUhhhââ you begin.Â
âItâll cut down your time in half.â
âDeal,â Bucky says immediately, sticking out his hand for a shake.
Brenda sticks out her hand too, only to wince immediately, following it up with a curse.
âWhatâs wrong?â you interject.
âDamn backâs killing me,â she mutters. âYouâd think death would stop the pain, but itâs not let up yet. Come on then.â
Both of your eyebrows knit together at her statement, but she leaves no room for a reply as she marches inward, one hand on the small of her spine.Â
Bucky elects to use his phone flashlight, as if he keeps that shit charged above 40% at any given point of time. If anything is not going to make it out of the night alive, it was that thing.Â
The air inside is stale and heavy, filled with the scent of mildew and old, rusted metal. All three of your footsteps echo in the silence, reverberating through empty halls with each cautious step. The moonlight in conjunction with the flashlight casts long, unsettling shadows. The faint taste of dust lingers in the back of Buckyâs throat that he cannot get rid of.Â
âYâall gonna sleep in here tonight?â Brenda pipes up, swinging her flashlight around.
You look at Bucky with a grin thatâs alarming.
His face immediately pulls into one of âWhat the fuckâ
âNo, we arenât,â you announce instead. âBut do people do that often?â
âYouâd be surprised,â she comments. âYouâre not the first folks weâve had here with those fancy shmancy gadgets.â
âThat explains how you have a tour all planned.âÂ
âWe get a bunch of you every couple of months.â
âWho is âweâ?â Bucky cuts in.
She pays him no need. âYâall run a podcast?â
Bucky looks personally affronted. âNo, we do not.â
âWe run a YouTube channel,â you offer instead. âItâs for ghosts and stuff.â
âI see,â she considers, tone thoughtful. âSo, this will go up online?âÂ
âUnfortunately,â Bucky murmurs.
âHave you caught ghosts before?â
âNot even oneââ
âSeveral,â you chirp. âAnd we have a witch cat. Her nameâs Alpine.â
Bucky narrows his eyes at you. âSince when is her name Alpine?â
âI gave her a bunch of options and she told me she liked that best.â
âThe cat canât talk.â
âTo you. She and I chat shit everyday,â you dish back. âShe hates that stupid fern in your room, she says it smells.â
That fucking fern was not even his idea. But Sam got it for him when he moved in, so there was a zero percent chance it would be leaving any time soon.Â
âTell her to fuck off.â
âYâall got a large following?â Brenda interrupts.
âBuilding towards it.â You look at her before looking at Bucky. âOnce we hit a sizable amount and Bucky becomes an official internet boyfriend, weâll stop the series.â
He sends you a withering look. âWeâll be doing this till I die.â
âNonsense, everyone loves you,â you dismiss. âYouâre a pretty boy and extremely irritable. They think youâre hilarious.â
 His nose twitches, and he feels the need to clear his throat.Â
âYour camera records ghosts?â Brenda asks again.Â
âWeâve got a bunch of devices. Weâll catch it,â you sound confident.Â
âGreat, because hereâs the first stop,â she says, pressing her shoulder onto a double door.
The door groans as she pushes, its hinges protesting with a long, rusty screech, the cold metal heavy under her hand. A stale gust of air hits your face, carrying the faint smell of rot as the door finally gives way.
She steps back with a small huff, stretching her back with a small, âShit.â
The pale blue walls had turned greenish, wallpaper peeling away. Counters were covered with a thin layer of dust. Old tools laid unused on the surgical table, once stainless steel but now rusted.Â
âA lotta deaths happened in this operating theatre,â she imparts after a bout of stretching. âThey thought this place was cursed for a while.âÂ
The sterile, tiled walls are cracked and chipped, and the old surgical lights hang dim, their bulbs long burned out. The air still lingers with antiseptic thatâs long since turned sour.
Bucky feels a little too acquainted with this setting.Â
He doesnât even realise his silence is palpable until you nudge his side, drawing his attention sharply back to you.Â
âYou doinâ okay?â you whisper. Â
âFine,â he says, tearing his eyes away from the tools and towards you.
It only twists his stomach a little. It makes him think of how different his reactions used to be even a few years go.Â
âOld, dingy hospitals may not have been the best idea,â you admit to him, using the flashlight to shine a light in the corner.Â
It occurs to him a second later once he forces himself to compartmentalise.Â
âYou okay?â he asks, voice low.Â
âYeah,â you reply, slowly looking around. âJust looks like my nursery.â
A small crease forms between his eyebrows.Â
âNot gonna lie, mine was way prettier. Lot more mould on the walls,â you continue, tone light. âYou know, timeless decor.â
His nose lets out a small exhale in the form of a laugh. âLeviathan not into blood stain wallpaper?â
âCouldnât afford it. Fuckinâ place kept referring to itself as Hydraâs sister org but had none of the budget,â you say, swiping a finger across the dust. âYouâd think that at least some of the people that left would give alumni donations, but no.â
Bucky snickers at jokes literally no one else would laugh at. It feels good for once, not to feel the need to censor himself to make others less uncomfortable.Â
You take a step forward, camera following behind you.Â
You shine the flashlight around the room, noting all the surgical trays piled together.Â
But something flashes on the ceiling.Â
You swing your flashlight toward it immediately, only for the table beside you a few inches away to start rolling, making a loud whining noise as it did, snapping your attention towards it. Â
By the time you finally bring the light back up towards the ceiling, itâs gone.Â
âWhat theââ you mumble.Â
âWhat?â Bucky asks, looking up from where he was scrolling through his phone.Â
âCouldâa sworn I sawââ you frown at the empty space now, only an old defunct looking camera staring back at you.Â
âRed eyes?â Brenda inquires, looking at you. âYeah, that happens.â
Bucky glances up at you, and then the wall. âProbably just the lens glare.â
You scrunch up your face at her. âHowâd you know it was red eyes?âÂ
âThatâd be the spirit of olâ Doctor Damon, chief of neuro,â she says. âYouâll find him here or his cabin, but thatâs a few floors away. He never liked climbing the stairs.âÂ
âRight,â Bucky acknowledges monotonously.Â
âWhen he worked here, he spent so long in surgery that his eyes were always bloodshot. One day he just dropped dead from exhaustion,â Brenda explains. âSo his spirit walks around here, red eyes, wheeling surgery tables waiting for the next patient.â
âWhatâs he doing on the ceiling?â Bucky questions, going back to his phone. âHe did his surgeries suspended midair?âÂ
âAre you trying to gatekeep the ceiling?â you scoff. âHave you never seen Spiderman hanging upside down for fun?âÂ
Bucky finally lifts his sight from the phone. âThe doctor is not an insect superhero, he would have no reason to be hanging upside downââ
âHow would you know if heâs a superhero or not? What if he was bitten by a bat?â you challenge. âLike a batâŠguy. Batman.â
He jeers. âThen heâs got a stupid codename.â
âOh, and Captain America is poetic genius.â
âAt least Sam has a codename, whereâs yours?âÂ
You narrow your eyes at him. âMaybe you should have paid attention when your mother was screaming it las-â
âShall we move on?â Brenda asks calmly.Â
âYes,â the both of you reply simultaneously.Â
She doesnât even bother looking at you, almost as if sheâd seen it all in her lifetime.Â
âBesides, sometimes you can see him sitting on one of the operating tables. He doesnât just hang out on the ceiling like⊠batâŠman,â she explains, leading the way back out.Â
âSee?âÂ
âSee what?â you ask.Â
âNothing,â he replies. âThereâs nothing to see. Thatâs the fuckinâ point.â
You shove him lightly.Â
Bucky bites back a grin.
_____
The morgue is silent.Â
The ceiling is low and chipped, streaked with stains of old water damage, the paint fallen away in patches.Â
Against one wall, old, disused morgue drawers stand open and half-broken, the once-sleek stainless steel now speckled with rust. Some of the drawers are bent out of shape, while others are stuck, sealed tight from years of neglect. Inside some of the open drawers, tattered, yellowed tags hang loosely from the handles, swaying gently as the chill air moves through the room.
âThis roomâs self explanatory,â she says. âSometimes, you can hear spirits still trying to claw their way out of the drawers but they never open.â
âSkill issue,â Bucky mumbles under his breath.
âShut up, oh my God,â you whisper-yell, still mouth pulling into a thin line to stop from laughing.Â
âWhat?â Brenda asks, suddenly from near the drawers.Â
You had no idea when she even went there.Â
âNothing,â you reply, before thoughtfully asking, âBucky, truth or dare?â
âNo.â
âDare it is.â You shine a flashlight at one of the closed drawers. âIâll give you twenty bucks if you get in one of them for a few seconds. Letâs see if the ghosts come at you.â
âYou're deranged,â he replies, incredulous.Â
âItâs for science,â you insist. âHow else will you know for sure?â
âIâm sure itâll be comfortable,â Brenda quips. âLike a coffin.â
The both of you look at her together in silence.
She shrugs. âItâs what Iâve heard from them.âÂ
You look at her for a second more, before turning to Bucky. âAnyway, if you want Iâll come lie in there with you.â
âHow does that make it better?â he exclaims. âI am not lying in the morgue.â
âEven if Iâm in there with you?â
âThatâs even worseââ
Thereâs a loud knock from one of the drawers on Brendaâs side. She looks down at it, almost like she was expecting it. Soon, there are further loud thuds that come from inside the remaining drawers.Â
âHey, Magda,â she calls, before more knocks come from inside. âYouâve got visitors. Say hello.â
You grab the spirit box from behind Buckyâs ear and hold it in the direction of the wall. Nothing registers.
âAnimals,â he answers the question hanging in the air calmly.Â
âThe spirits?â Brenda replies. âTheyâre not gonna like that.â
Sure enough, a few of the drawers start rattling on their own accord.
You look at Bucky with an eyebrow raised.
âWhat?â he carps. âIâm not gonna go lie down in there, if thatâs what you want.â
âCome on, take one for the team,â you whine.Â
âYou take one for the team.âÂ
âIâm literally the one pulling all the weight around here. You do it.â
Bucky doesnât agree with you on the last part, but the first one is undisputably right. He makes a mental note to start contributing a fuckton more if he plans on continuing on in the series.Â
The rattling around comes to a halt eventually.Â
âIf none of you want to get in there, should we move to the next one?â Brenda points to the door.Â
âYes, please,â you confirm, sending Bucky a glare.
She leads the way up the stairs while you both follow, bickering and shoving lightly.
Once upstairs, Bucky glances down the hall, only to see a large double door that is noticeably different from the rest youâve seen so far. Thereâs a fading rainbow drawn on the front, little footsteps painted onto the floor leading towards it.
Bucky hesitates, steps faltering. âIs that the childrenâs ward?â
âYes,â Brenda looks over her shoulder briefly.Â
For a second, he wonders. Whether it was worth a shot. He hadnât heard from her since the incident at the house, and the tarot cards have been suggesting nothing but reasons to believe she may actually be there. Â
âAre we going to check that out?â he asks.Â
âNo, thereâs nothing there,â she shrugs it off. âNo spirits. Iâve asked the others too.âÂ
Bucky shifts uncomfortably. âAre you sure?â
You shoot him an odd look that he refuses to meet.Â
âYep. Next stopâs the other way.â
Bucky spares the doors another long look, before traversing down the hallway with you.Â
âWhy do you wanna go to the childrenâs ward?â you query, voice low.Â
âJust thought it was worth checking out,â he replies, voice steady. Â
âWe can always make a run for it and go check.â
âNo,â he says, giving you a curt shake of his head, âitâs alright.â
âWeâre right down this way,â Brenda calls, turning a corner and disappearing out of sight.
âComing!â you call back before spinning to Bucky. âHey.â
âWhat?â he responds, moving at his own brisk pace.Â
You tug him back with you with force.Â
âWhat are you doingââ he hisses.
You link your arm with Buckyâs, pulling him along with you as you walk, shutting him up. He eyes your elbow looped with his and the proximity with which you walked beside him and all of a sudden, the back of his neck feels quite warm, extending down to his chest.
âI think Brendaâs a ghost,â you tell him casually.
Bucky stops in his path, drawn very much back to reality.Â
âKeep walking,â you grit through a smile. âIâm pretty sure sheâs dead. Why else is she totally chill with the ghosts here-â
âBecause there arenât any. Itâs animals.â
âWhy is she saying coffins are comfortable? Why is she talking to the ghosts and knowing exactly where they are and arenât?â
âI can make shit up too, look,â Bucky comments enthusiastically. âOh, down the hall is the isolation room. Youâll hear heavy breathing because thatâs where the tuberculosis patients wereââ
âThatâs one of the isolation rooms,â Brendaâs voice echoes down the hall. âItâs next up.â
You yank your arm away from Bucky when he blinks, a bit surprised himself.Â
âAre you dead?â you whisper-yell.
âOnly âcause the government declared it,â he sighs. âDo you know what a fuckinâ pain it is to get undead.âÂ
âCome on.â Brenda beckons to the both of you with her flashlight.Â
With a slight shove, the door to the room swings open easily, but the smell of old paper and mildew floods your senses.Â
The bed is now a rusted, sagging frame, the thin mattress long since torn and discolored with age. The once-clean sheets have yellowed and frayed, with remnants of old stains. Thin, brittle blankets lie in a heap on the floor.
The walls are bare, save for a few faded medical charts and broken instruments that were left behind in haste. The small window that once offered a faint glimpse of the outside is now cracked and filthy. The weak, filtered light that struggles through the dust-covered glass barely illuminates the room.Â
âPatients who were highly contagious were quarantined here. Some of them died without family by their side, so you can still hear their cries. Some of them have problems breathing, so sometimes youâll hear it through the vents,â Brenda explains.Â
âI bet,â Bucky drags out, sending you a âI fuckinâ told you soâ look..Â
Down the hall, something makes a loud sound, almost like something had crashed into the floor.Â
All three of you turn towards it.Â
Brendaâs face flickers for a moment before turning back to its regular calm.Â
âI think someoneâs angry,â she decides. âIâm gonna go check it out.â
âDo you want us to come with you?â you offer.
âIâll be okay, Iâve known these people all my life. Weâre friends,â she comforts. âOh, sometimes if you look out the door, youâll see shadows of people in the waiting room down the hall. Theyâre just old families lingering around, hoping for better results but they always leave upset.â
âIs there no way to get them out of here?â you ask.
She shrugs. âUnless you find a way to fix their disappointment, I doubt they'll leave. Theyâll stick around until something improves or changes.âÂ
Buckyâs eyebrows furrow at the implication. If that were truly the case, and not just something he concocted in the deep, self hating crevices of his mind, then he had to figure out which part of the fucked up mess that he was had pissed his sister off enough to come back to let him know she was disappointed.Â
You nod at her and she nods, spinning on her heel to exit the room, but not before she stops for a second, hand on the doorframe as she catches her breath, and one hand on her spine.
âAre you okay?â you sound genuinely concerned.
She flashes you a thumbs up, leaving without so much as another word.Â
âSheâs gonna come back with some bullshit about the hospital canteen staff dropping their pans or some shit,â Bucky remarks.
âYeah no, that was me. I just wanted her out of the room so we could discuss something,â you wave it off quickly.Â
Bucky stares at you.
âWhat? I dropped a cart. Itâs not a big deal. Anyway, listenââ
âSheâs not a ghost,â he states resolutely. Â
âBut what if she is,â you insist, a wicked grin on your face. âImagine saying we got a ghost tour. By a ghost.â
âI can imagine saying that, yes. I have a very wide and limitless imagination.âÂ
âUgh, what if weâre meant to help her find her way back?â You peer over his shoulder to see if sheâs walking back.Â
In the distance another crash sounds through the empty hallways. Bucky stares at you.
âIâm just making sure, itâs not like Iâm hurting anyoneâ you insist, dismissing it.Â
âYou could've just closed the door,â he says, extending one hand behind him to slide it closed.
âDonât do that,â you blurt out.
He stops, eyebrow raised. Â
âI don't like when doors are closed,â you shrug it off. âAnyway, back to the point. We should totally figure out how to help her exit this realm.â
He slides the door back open slowly, narrowing his eyes at you.Â
âEVen if she were a ghost, which sheâs notâ she seems happy here. Maybe,â Bucky comments, taking a seat on the worn out bed. âI canât really tell.â
âShe canât be. Imagine being forced to roam the same hallways over and over again till the end of time.â you shudder. âSounds miserable.â
Bucky shrugs, poking at the pillow, watching a cloud of dust fly up from it. âRoutine sounds fine to me.â
âIâd hate it,â you counter immediately. âI hate routines. Fucking inescapable once you get stuck in one.â
Bucky watches you curiously as you shift up and down the small room. âHow do you get anything done?âÂ
âI can get things done without a routine.â The camera follows your command, checking outside the window or the door occasionally facing Bucky. âWhy?â
âJust asking,â he replies, checking the time on his phone. Itâd been a while since Brenda had gone to investigate.
âAnd having a routine totally makes you an easy target. Havenât you watched any assassination movies?â
âNo. I didnât like bringing work home.â
You look at him in surprise before your face splits into a smile.Â
Something makes a noise from the wall adjacent to the door.Â
You both look at each other, and he gets off the bed to go see what the deal is. The door is adjacent to the wall, giving him a clear look into the hallway that was still empty.Â
A faint wail sounds through the vent above his head. You take quick steps towards where he was, and the camera follows suit, pointing at the grill on the wall.
You stand underneath it, spirit box raised as close as you could get it, but the damn thing picks up nothing.Â
Another noise comes through, almost like someone was wheezing, before the vent rattles, stopping altogether.
You stare at it, before taking a gigantic inhale and exhaling obnoxiously, forcing all the air out of your lungs with a wheeze.Â
âWhat the fuck are you doing?â Bucky stares at you like you're insane.Â
âWell, you canât just back down,â you argue. âIâm gonna breathe louder than that thing.â
âJesus Christ,â he mumbles.
You give another gigantic inhale and exhale, rattling all the bones in your body, and the faint noise from the vent stops too.Â
âWe win,â you beamÂ
 âYouâve completely lost it.â
âUh, no, I didnât. I totally won.â
âThatâs not what Iââ Bucky starts but stops himself when you grin at him devilishly.Â
He sighs, asking instead, âShould we go looking for her?âÂ
âI guess so,â you shrug. âWeâre not exactly cut to be her saviours right now. Iâm pretty sure she knows the layout of the hospital better than we do if sheâs been haunting it for fifteen years.â
âWhere did you get that number?â he demands.Â
âDoes it matter?â you urge. âDidnât realise youâre a valid ghost only if you have a certain number of years in haunting.â
Bucky ignores you, taking off down the hall.Â
âIf you had to haunt a hospital or a ship, what would you choose?â you quip, matching his pace.Â
âHospital,â he answers without thinking much.
âWhy?â
âI spent a lot of time in them,â he tells you, voice clear. âSteveâs mom was a nurse. Weâd meet her there a lot when he got his ribs broken or his nose busted.â
The memory, though faint, is enough to pull a smile from him.Â
âHe also used to be sick a lot, so I used to come pick up his medicine for him,â he adds. âThey used to know us by name because weâd be there nearly every second day.â
You exhale a small laugh. âEvery hospital in the state of New York has a chart for Steve even now.â
âFuckinâ guy just dosnât learn.â Bucky shakes his head with affection-laced irritation.Â
The hallways stretch out endlessly, dim and wide. A few doors line the walls, some ajar, revealing only darkness inside. The silence is unnerving, broken only by the soft sound of you and your footsteps.
Bucky looks over at you. âWhat about you?â
âWhat about me?â you hum, small smile still on your face.Â
âWhat would you haunt?
âShip, I guess,â you reply. âIâve always wanted to be a pirate.â
âShould be your next job.â
âYou gonna come with? Weâll turn it into a vlog.
âFuck no.â
âWell, thanks for taking the time to really consider it,â you sing, not really offended. âWay to let me down gently, Barnes.â Â
âWhat? Itâs got nothinâ to do with you.â Bucky clarifies still, pausing before letting out, âI get seasick. Canât be on water for more than five minutes before Iâm throwing up all over the place. You want that in your vlog?â
Itâs enough to elicit a laugh from you, that in turn makes the corner of his lip curl.
âWe could alwaysâ
Right in front of him, something moves darts across the wall at the end of the hall.
It cuts you off mid-sentence too, the both of you glancing at each other before turning towards it again.
Against the glare of your flashlight, another shadow darts across the wall.Â
âThatâs what she was talking about,â you whisper, slightly in disbelief that she wasn't wrong. âShadow people. Do you think they got to her?â
Bucky rolls his eyes, continuing to walk on ahead.Â
âUm, hello?â you scramble to catch up with him. âWhere is your self preservation?â
âAgainst what?â he asks stoically.Â
âThat,â you say pointedly at the wall, when another figure darts across the wall and disappears out of sight.Â
Bucky rolls his eyes. âItâs a shadow, the fuckâs it gonna do?â
âHavenât you heard of shadow demons? Succumbing to darkness?â you chastise.Â
Bucky stops walking, standing solidly in the middle of the hallway.
âOkay,â he says, refusing to budge.Â
The hall goes silent, no movement other than the steady rise and falls of your chest.Â
You stare at him. âNow what.â
âI'm waiting for them to do something,â he says. âIâm waiting to succumb to the darkness.âÂ
âYouâre so annoying,â you bite, dragging him along with you. âAnd Iâm tired, weâve been walking for like, eight hundred hours. Letâs go.â
âWeâve been here for two hours,â he reminds you, taking a turn into the corner that the shadows disappeared into. âYou did this to yourself.â
âFine, next time Iâll bring an electric scooter with me.â You huff. âAnd I wonât even let you use it.â
âWhereâd Brenda fuckinâ go?â Bucky mumbles, eyes squinting into the darkness to see if there are any clues.
âWhere are you guys going?â Someone pipes up from behind you, sending the hairs on his neck up.Â
The both of you spin around instantly, arms clenched in a fighting stance.Â
âSorry, it's a habit to take the scenic route back.â She chuckles, unfazed. âNot a lot to do when youâve been here so long.â
The both of you lower your hands slowly, letting out an exhale.
âYâall ready to head out?â she inquires, coolly. âI think itâs time we all get some rest.âÂ
The walk back is relatively quicker, ater she leads you down a path she calls a shortcut.Â
The only thing that slowls you down are the occasional stops you had to make for her back ache.
Right by the entrance of the hospital, she holds onto the door frame again in the midst of explaining who was haunting the basements.Â
After a particularly hard exhale and a clamour to stand back up, Bucky awkwardly clears his throat to ask, âHave you tried this stretch?â
âWhat?â Brenda asks, eyes curious.Â
âLearnt it in physio. Doesnât cure it, but it helps,â he explains, craning his neck to the sides, before taking a step ahead towards her. Â
You watch him in thinly veiled delight as he shows her exactly what joint to bend and in which angle, and the degree to which she had to pivot.
He even uncomfortably guides her shoulders in the strangest yoga session youâd ever witnessed.Â
âShould help,â Bucky mumbles, taking a step away.Â
She raises her shoulders and drops it, lips pursuing and bows raising in a look that seems impressed. The small hunch she carried wit her seems to have disappeared too.Â
âLetâs go,â Bucky doesnât wait for a thanks or anything, taking a step away from her and towards the exit.Â
âNow that youâve fixed her back ache, how do we fix her haunting the place?â you ask lowly.Â
âSheâs not a fuckinâ ghost, sheâs fine,â he whispers back.Â
âNothing about what sheâs said tonight is normal,â you argue.
The night is clear and cool when you step out, the musty scent of the building dissipating almost immediately.
âJust say bye, weâre fuckinâ leaving,â Bucky shoots.Â
You sigh loudly, giving him a glare at his lack of helpfulness before plastering a smile on your face and turning around.Â
âWell, thanks for everything, Brenda,â you say, turning around to stick your hand out. âWe sure couldnât haveââ
But sheâs gone.
âHoly shit,â you say.Â
Bucky looks over his shoulder at the disturbance, before turning around fully. âOh, fuck off.â
âI told you she was a ghost,â you gush. âYou fixed her back ache and now she has crossed over to the other side.â
âShut up,â he replies, looking all over the place for a sign of where she could have disappeared to.Â
âYou did it, Bucky, you helped a lonely spirit,â you cheer.Â
âI did not.â
âHey!â Someone shouts from afar, commanding your attention to the gate again.Â
âNot again,â Bucky mumbles, eyes snapping shut.Â
âMore ghosts,â you point out excitedly. âCome on, Charon, ferry those spiritsââ
âYou ferry your own spirits, Iâm going to sleep,â he interjects, fully intending on ignoring the person at the gate and simply getting in the car.
âWhat are you guys doing here?â A man pants, jogging up to the both of you before Bucky had the time to leave.Â
âWe were just taking a look around,â you say, sticking your hand out, much to Buckyâs displeasure. âWe heard the place was haunted.â
âAh, I see,â he replies, taking in your appearance. âPodcasters?â
âNo,â Bucky replies instantly.Â
âWe were just leaving,â you cut in. âWe already got a tour by this ghost, and Bucky totally sent her to the afterlife.â
âI did not,â he seethes.Â
âShe disappeared after saying ominous shit this entire evening, what do you call that?â you challenge.Â
âGoing home,â Bucky responds, frustrated that he was clearly not afforded the same privilege. Â
âUhââ the guy holds up his finger. â--not to intrude, but you got a tour by a ghost?â
âYes,â you bubble over with excitement.Â
âAnd this ghost⊠did they have a backache?â
Buckyâs interest piques, the irritation giving way to intrigue .Â
âYou know her?â you puzzle.
âUh yeah, thatâs Brenda,â he admits sheepishly. âSheâs very much alive.â
Bucky would have sworn he had never been this elated in his life, but unfortunately he realises very quickly that he simply does not care. Â
 âShe said she was a security guard hereâ wait, who are you?â you tilt your head at him, seemingly not upset at all. It reduces Buckyâs non-existent triumph even more.Â
âTravis Dowell, Labyrinth Inc. representative,â he says, shaking your hand. âWeâreââ
â--the company that bought the place,â you complete, eyebrow raised. Â
âYeah.â He nods. âBrenda was a security guard here for nearly thirty years. We had to let go of her when we bought the hospital. Weâve been trying to turn it into an apartment for years, but thereâs a lot of red tape that we have to get past because of healthcare reasons.â
âYeah, she told us that it got bought,â you follow along.Â
âHospital was in the worst financial situation possible. There was just no way out.â He shrugs. âBut she was super attached to this place. She didnât take the redevelopment plans well, so sheâs taken it upon herself to make sure it never happens, I guess? I donât know, she spends a lot of time here convincing people that itâs haunted so that people donât build anything here. Sheâs got an apartment close by so she knows when someoneâs around. Youâll probably find her there, if you want.â
âYou guys know about her?â Bucky questions, crease between his eyebrows.
âUh, yeah, we do,â he says, rubbing the back of his neck. âWe sorta ignore her. Her schtickâs annoying, but itâs not the reason we havenât demolished this place yet. Once all the zoning issues get cleared up, the buildingâs coming down. And besides, all the PRâs just gonna have people pay a shit ton to stay here. You know, novelty of it being haunted, and all that.âÂ
âHowâd you know we were here?â you ask pointedly.Â
âWeâve set up motion sensors in the place?â he replies. âYou may have seen them. The red lights in the operation rooms. We know she takes people there.â
âOh, thatâs what that was,â you turn to Bucky who simply shakes his head lightly.Â
âYeah, she really goes the extra mile.â Travis shifts from one leg to the other. âThereâs raccoons in the morgue that start running around if she hits the door. What else⊠oh yeah, sheâs made a hole in one of the isolation rooms to make noises through the wall.â
Bucky wonders what will happen of all the footage now that none of it was essentially real. It made sense why she kept trying to find out where the video was going to be posted and how many people were going to view it now, as if a large number of views were going to save her beloved building.Â
âSo youâll just let her do whatever until the demolition happens?â you question.Â
âIf it gets her to stop vandalising our office downtown.â He shrugs. âIt doesnât make a difference to us either way.â
âRight. So the real horrorâŠâ you say. â...is capitalism.â
Travis stares at you, before raising and dropping his shoulders. âSure.â
âAlright.â You blow out an exhale. âWell, was anything about tonight real?â
âI mean, she really does have back pain,â he adds helpfully.
You turn to Bucky. âNet positive, then.â
Sure. Why the fuck not.
âOkay, Travis, thanks for this. Youâve been an immense help,â you say aloud, hoisting the camera onto your shoulders. âYou can watch us on The Graveyard Shift, if we can figure out what to do with all these videos now.â
âSorry about that,â he replies, shoving his fists into his pocket. âGood night.â
You watch as he turns and jogs away to his car that was parked a bit closer to the gate than yours was.Â
Bucky plucks the camera off your shoulder and places it under his arm, even though heâs well aware you can carry fifteen of them at once.
âThat was fun,â you tell him, seemingly over it already.Â
âIâm fuckinâ starving,â he replies.Â
Bucky should be glad then, that he didnât bother with the childrenâs ward, if nothing about tonight was realâ
âTravis, wait,â you shout all of a sudden. âWhat about the shadows?âÂ
âWhat shadows?â he calls back, confused.Â
âThe shadow people moving across the hall from the isolation room?â
He raises his eyebrows. âWe haven't heard reports of that.â
âFuckâs sake,â Bucky mumbles.
âHell yeah,â you reply, knocking into his shoulder. âHaunted hospital, baby.â
When you walk into the dining room, you donât really expect anyone to be there that late at night.
But fiery red hair pulled into a ponytail and an oversized t-shirt perched at the kitchen counter catches you off guard, dulling the arguing between you and Bucky as you argue the logistics of Brenda having a hand in the shadow demons.Â
âTook you guys long enough,â Nat keeps her mug down on the counter before hopping off the chair. You note that itâs the same one you got her a few weeks ago from the flea market, the blue ceramic one.
âOh, hi!â you smile wide, when she pulls you into a hug. âI thought you were in Lagos.â
âI was,â she replies, pulling away. âGot done early.â
âOf course you did. Overachiever.â
In the end of the common room, Bucky can hear the faint sounds of late night infomercials play through the TV. Clintâs legs hung off the couch as he lay snoring in front of it, blanket dropped on the floor in a heap.Â
âHot chocolate?â she offers.Â
âIâm good, we went to the drive-through before coming back.â You beckon with your shoulder towards Bucky.Â
She finally turns to him. âHey.â
Bucky gives her a curt nod, glad that sheâs back safe.Â
âWhy were you out so late?â She gives him a onceover, before raising an eyebrow. âTogether.â
âHospital date.â
âVideo shoot,â he says at the same time, glaring at you. You shrug.Â
Natâs lip trails up into a smirk. âPut on your big boy pants and finally admit your crush?â
Bucky drags a palm down his face. âI do not have a crush.â
âIf you say so,â she concedes innocently, eyeing him over the rim of her hot chocolate. Â
âAre you all in on this? Do you have a quota to reach?â he groans. âWhyâs everyone asking me this?â
âWho is âeveryoneâ?â you sound delighted.Â
âIf you donât want people to call you out on our shit, maybe donât walk around with heart eyes,â Nat comments. Â
Buckâs look is ice cold, but Nat just gives him a wink when you laugh.Â
âHey, I needed to talk to you about something.â She turns to you. âYou free for a second?â
âAlways,â you reply in earnest.Â
Nat leads you a few steps away, hand on your shoulder. Â
Bucky takes his seat at the counter, stealing a sip from Natâs mug. Of course, it was fantastic. Overachiever.
He tunes out intentionally, focusing on the fact that Clint was splayed out on the couch with the TV on a low volume. He knows for a fact the blonde was asleep, and probably would wake up with the worst neck pain in his life, but this was the life he chose.
After watching Clint nearly fall off the couch twice, he looks away, not intending on prying on your conversation but vaguely watching the interaction out of the corner of his eye.
He frowns at what he sees. Natâs face has turned solemn while she talks to you in hushed tones. Your eyebrows were pulled together, arms crossed over your chest.Â
Bucky feels a shift in the air, but heâs not sure what exactly has gone down.Â
Nat finally tells you something surely, and you nod. She cups the side of your face and you force out a smile at her, before her hand drops.
The both of you make your way back to him. He turns his gaze back to the counter.Â
âYou owe me a hot chocolate,â Nat tells him, before giving him a quick kiss on the temple and stealing her cup right back.Â
âI barely drank any,â he retorts, eyes still trained on you.
The TV clicks off and she drags a half asleep Clint back down the hall to his bedroom while the man rubbed at his shoulders, trailing behind her obediently.Â
Meanwhile, you grab a glass of water from the tap, drinking it slowly as you head towards the elevator.
âGânight, Buck,â you tell him, passing by him.
âHold on,â he says, voice less gruff than before as he watches you, face tight, âWhatâs going on?
You observe him for a few long seconds, but he gets the sense you arenât exactly looking at him. Your eyes are slightly glazed over, and your mind is⊠elsewhere.Â
âWhat do you do when people refuse to let go of something youâve already escaped?â you ask finally. Â
âWhat do you mean?â Buckyâs eyebrows knit together tighter. Â
âDo you feel like everyoneâs eyes are on you?â you say, voice strange. âLike thereâs nowhere to go?â
âWhere is this coming from? Whatâd Nat tell you?â
It seems to snap you out of whatever funk you were in, at least partially. âItâs probably nothing.â
His frown only deepens. âIs someone threatening you?â
âNo, nothing like that.â You shake your head. âDonât worry about it. Itâs gonna be fine.âÂ
Bucky stares after you as you press the button to the elevator. He isnât really sure what to make of the what you just shared. He isnât even sure he should ask Nat about it later on considering that she didnât want him listening in now.Â
He watches the light above the elevator light up before a ding sounds through.Â
âJust so you knowââ Â
Buckyâs eyes snap back to you, one step in the elevator.Â
âI had a codename, too,â you tell him. âI just never liked it.â
Bucky is only left staring as you disappear into the elevator, leaving him in silence.Â
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đYour Own Standards of Beauty âŠïž Timeless Pick A Card
Iâve seen one too many times East Asian YouTubers, when talking about EAâs ârigid standards of beautyâ giving this sense of defensiveness or helplessnessâbecause itâs culture, right? With every fibre of my mixed ancestry I loathed that particular brand of apologist behaviour.
âNature is busy creating absolutely unique individuals, whereas culture has invented a single mold to which all must conform. It is grotesque.â â U.G. Krishnamurti
Up until fairly recently, I was still struggling with comprehending the thought process behind this âinventionâ of a grotesquely small and narrow mould of beauty and conduct to which ALL East Asians must abide lest youâre a total disharmonious failure. After some long and hard rumination, frustration, accompanied by occasional bouts of repugnance, I think I finally get âwhyâ.
Almost ALL people in East Asia ALL LOOK THE SAME!!! By nature!!! LMAO LMAO People can ONLY have black hair and black eyes LMAO Ahahahohohhahah I think these Asians were never âsocialisedâ to appreciate variety. Hahhh thatâs so pathetic. If this really is the reason, man, itâs pathetic as fuck. Ionno tho. You think Iâve figured it out.
All I know is that East Asians must repent for all the sins theyâve committed against childhood, individuality, creativity, aaand society and Humanity itself. Yes, Humanity. Standing on the side of all genetically diverse peoples of Asia, such as the Ainus, Mongols, Uyghurs, to some extent the Zainichis, and sooo many other âanomaliesâ who, in recent history, have been cast aside and treated poorly only because they donât âfit inâ to the ideals and cultures of the main races of some purebred fucks.
For all I care, the part of East Asian culture that has birthed this infamous ârigid standards of beauty, and, conductâ can go to fucking hell. If youâre the type of person whoâs even the slightest bit proudâor defensiveâof this you can go and fuck yourself. No one should be proud of that kind of a racist, fascist, repulsive, little bitch mindset. Are you a little bitch? I ainât one.
I am a Supreme Bitch! Imma be myself and do whatever the fuck I want and look however I want. And if my society canât take that? Those types of peopleâAsian or no Asianâcan die on the wrong side of history! I. AM. MY OWN. PROTOTYPE.
perspective: Why BUSHIDO Is The Root of All Social Problems in Japan by Letâs ask Shogo
documentary: WE ARE X on YouTube (watch before itâs taken down LOL)
âX challenged a conservative Japanese society and showed us a new way to be. They started a revolution, honestly.â
âBe proud!! Be proud of yourself! We are!! X!!!â
deck-bottom: X(!?!) The Wheel of Fortune, Priestess of Ambition, Gold Magus (Johannes Faustus)
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Pile 1 â A Light of Innocence in this Insanely Debased World
playlist: silly playlist for silly people with rare songs!! by Rita wild
the TYPA beauty you are â Page of Cups
You are someone whoâs known for being quite childlike. It could be that you do look young, but itâs mostly your mannerism. Technically speaking, itâs just YOU being the happy pill that you are. Listen, some of you tuning into this Pile could be dark and sombre on the insideâespecially if you have a significant Scorpio/Pluto about you or if youâve had a very unhappy childhoodâbut the way youâre perceived on the outside is totally bright, beautifully soft and pleasant, and dang, people really be liking your aenergy when youâre in a room.
Youâre the type of beauty that exudes âpurityâ in the most innocent way, no matter how you look or dress. You could be perceived as ethereal or unreal. otherworldly in a sense that you donât seem to fit in this dimension. Are you an alien? Are you a goddess? Are you a fairy, elf, or an anime character? People may not have the exact words to describe you but youâre INTERDIMENSIONAL is whatâs going on.
It isnât just your physical beauty or the attractive way that you smile. People may not realise this themselves either but whatâs truly beautiful about you is this VIBE or AURA that you generate from having a vastly pure heart. No, no, not pure in the sense that you never think sexy thoughts, what? Pure in the sense that you really operate from your Higher Heart and has very little ego driving your ambitions in Life~^_â-v
effects on the world around you â Ace of Cups Rx
Basically, you just love beautiful things. You always look for beautiful things. And you make an effort to surround yourself with things you find beautiful in your own standards. And in a way, youâre also the kind of person who sees beauty in everything and everybody. Youâre the type of person who sees Light even in a narcâs darkest corners of their blackened heart (if they had one), which is really such a beautiful thing but could also prove DANGEROUS!
Itâs wonderful to have childlike wonder but it ainât cool whatsoever to be childish enough not to acknowledge the presence of evil fucks. Bad people exist, OK? Very predatory and murderous people exist, OK? And itâs a spectrum. And youâve been such an easy target for those on the milder spectrum of psychopathy! Babe! OMG Youâre often drained of good aenergy after catering to the stupid whims of very narcissistic, histrionic, pathetic, selfish and whiney fucks.
STOP THAT. Of all the Piles, youâre the type of soft beauty whoâs often underestimated and taken for granted just because youâre always so positive. If not âpositiveâ per se, youâre perceived as âstrongâ, so those types of people donât even feel shame for constantly taking and demanding your aenergy. Keep allowing that long enough and your physical beauty could be drained out of you by the time your First Saturn Return jaywalks along and smacks you in the head.
keep being you, Glorious One â 6 of Swords Rx
Truly, youâre a silly angel who holds the power to absorb other peopleâs pain and gloomy feelings. But if this is your main pile, thing is, you might not have learnt how to release or transmute the negativity youâve absorbed from your surroundings. It is paramount that you learn to call upon divine protection so that youâre shielded from the Evil Eye of those who are envious of your beauty and feel silly in your purity. Your Spirit Guides arenât saying that you should stop being innocent, right?
A Soul like you is very rare in this perverted world. Some people might say, âThey donât make people like you anymoreâŠâ WRONG. Youâre the catalyst, if anything. By your example, thereâs gonna be MORE people who are gonna be comfortable in their purity. Knowing that thereâs nothing wrong with them for being this way. Fully comprehending that it is this world thatâs gone too insane, and DEBASED. And this world has been this way for far longer than people realise. I mean, Iâm sure youâre aware of how inhumane most people were in the medieval times LOL
Keep being the innocent and pure you, Glorious One. What youâre being advised to do is learn to set healthy boundaries from which you can still shine your Light safely. Iâm being told that many of you choosing this Pile, due to your heightened sense of aesthetic, might want to have a social media presence or any kind of public platform where youâre free to share bits and pieces of your beautiful Life as a form of your Lightwork. Some kind of a lifestyle influencer?
Iâm thinking of channels and blogs that typically share aesthetic daily vlogs and stuff like thatâlike nemui atelier on YouTube. You know what I mean; I donât know what I mean XD
YOUR BEAUTY KILLSđ»đ
story of your evolution â Priestess of Prosperity
a legacy of authenticity â Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)
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Pile 2 â An Unexpectedly Romantic Dreamer of Luxury
playlist: songs like đđŠ đđđŁđ đđđđ đđđ đđđđ (MITSKI) by song with love
the TYPA beauty you are â 2 of Cups
Ah~! You are such a dreamy and romantic beauty! Youâre soft, elegant, sweet and lovely, with a kicking spice for those who would get on your bad side LMAO Youâre actually a lot tougher than appearances give but most people donât always get this until theyâve gotten to know you. For the most part, at first glance, at first encounter, youâre a sweet goddess, who probably gets projected on a lot.
You really have an unassuming quality about you. So then, people think thereâs not much going on within and think itâs easy to typecast you into something, with some simplistic label. People think itâs easy to figure you out and classify you into some kind of a dream girl whoâs always going to be nice, warm and friendly with everybody. Youâre not. Youâre a totally self-respecting babe. Actually, you really hate it when people act like they know you.
When people act like theyâre close, buddy-buddy with you, itâs super annoying and depending on your mood that day, you could sometimes feel this urge to break peopleâs faces. But you donât do that; youâre too nice. And youâve got a plethora of coping mechanisms to deal with how annoyed you are with your surrounding XD Good for you!
effects on the world around you â 5 of Swords Rx
First of all, I think many of you tapping into this Pile love shopping. Retail is definitely your therapy. Is this good? Is this bad? Depends, I guess. You tend to spend money gregariously or consume a lot of food, or buy a lot of aesthetic knickknacks, or buy a lot of arts and craft as a means of therapy. Deep down, youâre somebody who has a lot of anger or a general sense of dissatisfaction with the world youâre a part of and this rage, almost, needs to be channelled creatively.
Thereâs a perpetual sense of disgust inside of you. Youâre keen to observe and notice how much Humanity is failing. Everything that is ugly about society and people in general disgusts you. Thatâs why itâs important for you to live in beauty or indulge in creativity. Thatâs why it is paramount that your immediate surrounding, that your own Life, within what youâre able to control, is beautified to the max. You could be quite desperate in this pursuit because this is some kind of an overcompensation for the beauty and creativity that you feel is lacking in the world.
Your aenergy is kinda reminding me of this quote by the iconic Edie Sedgwick when describing why she dressed up the way she did:
âWhen I was girl of the year and superstar and all that crap, everything I did was reallyâŠmotivated by psychological disturbance. But Iâd make a mask out of my face because I didnât realize I was quite beautifulâŠI had to wear heavy black eyelashes like bat wings and dark lines under my eyes. Cut all of my hair off and strip it silver and blond. All these little manoeuvres I did out of things that were happening in my life that upset me. Iâd freak out in a very physical way, andâŠit was all taken in a fashion trend.â
In fact, I think all of her famous words here could resonate with you. You are what trend-setters and superstars are made of, that much of your effect on the world is certain~
keep being you, Glorious One â Queen of Pentacles
Really, thatâs all dandy as long as you can make a living out of your pursuit of beauty and creativity. This about you is really something that you can utilise as a means of therapy, self-care and self-improvement because you really are an artist, one way or another. It would be wonderful if you could monetise your beauty and creativity in some trendy way.
If you feel that youâre not particularly good at any kind of ârealâ art, then you can âserve faceâ to help other people sell their shit. You donât think this is smart enough? Muses are often people who donât do artârather they inspire Art in the minds and hearts of other artists. Truly, you are an artist; but those of you tuning into this Pile who feel like youâre not oneâŠyou are potentially someoneâs Muse.
Luxury is yours for the taking. But a lot of people in this world pursue luxury and some form of fame for vapid reasons and that often makes people very unhappy. Your Spirit Guides are saying that you do have a talent for balancing modern money-making and self-care. I think what they mean to say is that, you can be the prototype for how people can be completely and uniquely offbeat whilst still maintaining a good work-life balance.
After all, you do remember how much people like to project on you, right? Well, use them to make Life a lot easier! XD After all, itâs not like their projection and labelling would be useful any other way LOLđ
YOUR BEAUTY KILLSđ»đ
story of your evolution â Priestess of Luxury
a legacy of authenticity â Green Historian (Herodotus)
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Pile 3 â A Ghostly Bitch Witch Whoâs Quite Literally a Fucken Sigma
playlist: Everything Is Still Under Control by Mabisyo
the TYPA beauty you are â Queen of Wands Rx
You, are, by nature, magical. Youâre incredibly magnetic and this ainât even something youâve needed to work on; it all comes naturally. If anything, it seems youâve needed to learn the very hard way how to shield yourself from aenergy vampires. Youâve needed to work on your boundary. This is because it took you such a long time to realise most everybody around you was nothing but anklebiters. These were people who just wanted to be seen orbiting you because doing so would elevate their status or image.
Whether or not youâre aware of it, youâre quite literally thee IT girl. Youâre also THAT girl, because a lot of what you do and just who you are is very aspirational. Well of course aspirational to the motivated ones; to the weak, lame-ass ones? Almost everything about you is irritating. And most people are really lame, donât we all agree on this? So you may have felt like youâre really quite an unlikeable character. WRONG. Dead wrong. Itâs not you; itâs your lame-ass environment.
Youâre a Queen of Passion whoâs been living in peasant quarters, figuratively speaking. Youâve been surrounded by misers who donât even understand why itâs deeply important for them to raise their own standards of authenticity. Thing is, they canât afford to be authentic. Itâs probably not entirely their faultâafter all, peasants are highly dependent on thee System. Not you. Youâre the menacingly magnetic bitch witch of a system buster!
effects on the world around you â 8 of Cups
As much as you make an effort to be left alone, you magnetise admirers to no end. This is reminiscent of Greta Garboâs famous quote, âI never said, "I want to be alone". I only said, "I want to be left alone". There is a whole world of difference.â Itâs true with you as well. Youâre not necessarily an antisocial bitch who hates people; you just want to be left alone by gluttonous gossipers and silly simpers. You find it hard to grasp why people behave unreasonably in society, all, the, time.
You yearn for a more intellectual world where people behave honourably, which is quite paradoxical considering youâre often perceived as quite scandalous in your behaviour and lifestyle choices as well. For example, you could be gay or queer? You could desire to defy social norms such as âhaving to marry by a certain ageâ? You either reject social norms or you live completely opposite to whatâs expected of your gender, nationality or age. You donât like being told how to live your Life as if you couldnât work it out yourself. It's YOUR Life, right?
Itâs MY Life! My Story! Is what you say.
Youâre the kind of super bad bitch that gives no one permission to decide how you should sail your ship. Youâre at the wheel so youâre gonna sail the world however best you know. Youâre gonna learn a ton because youâre not afraid of detours or delays or whateverâyou could meet accidents, hopefully not fatal ones, but youâre going to learn. Thatâs what growing up well is all about for you. And if you meet the right kind of audience, your whole AURA is going to empower them to do just the same for themselves~
keep being you, Glorious One â 4 of Cups Rx
You are destined for an exciting Life. In fact, youâre meant to have an audience, have some kind of impact on the world, youâre meant to become some kind of a famous person. Could be a celeb, yeah, but in this social media era, literally everybody can have their own unique kind of celebrity, right? Youâre meant to be seen, heard, listened to, watched, analysed (LOL), and learn from.
Youâre somebody whoâs rare and your perspectives are deeply needed by this world. This world thatâs often blindsided by optical illusions. Of all people, youâre the only one whoâs not getting sucked into the mirage of mass media and deceitful politicians. Youâre the one whoâs noticing where the lies are all at. And you need to point that shit out, spell it out for other people to see whatâs truly going on in this world.
You could gain enemies, lots of them, in fact; but you are definitely gaining a massive following far greater than that if you remain authentic and courageous. Stay spooky. Stay scandalous. Stay gloriously YOU~ Youâve no idea just how much that Light of yours is needed in this world of long shadows. Keep your Third Eye open and keep your divine protection. Most people have yet to catch on to the one thing that makes YOU superfluously attractive: a courageous Heart that seeks to liberate others from the chains of their own cowardice.
YOUR BEAUTY KILLSđ»đ§Ą
story of your evolution â Priestess of Luck
a legacy of authenticity â Green Magus (John Dee)
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I keep seeing the posts about male socialization and idk it makes me feel weird because I identify as transfem and I *do* believe I had male socialization. I find it easier to identify with and understand male groups and to feel involved in the while I feel less at ease understanding how women feel and think even though my personal view of myself leans more towards a feminine identity. All these posts make me doubt that I am truly "transfem" and that even if I am, that I am fundamentally transfem in a different way than most other transfems I run into. Is there any sources or writing out there that either provides a counter-perspective or at the very least points to nuance on this subject from a transfem lens? I wish I didn't feel so alone with these feelings.
Your feelings and experience do not make you any less legitimate as a transfeminine person. A lot of trans women rightfully and understandably need to counteract the notion that they're oppressive privileged males or whatever by asserting, as clearly as they can, the many ways in which their socialization was a female socialization, with all the double-standards, demanded emotional labor, sexual predation, etc that entails -- but the very need to assert these things is due to the culture's twisted misconceptions about what gender even is and how it operates.
It's not as though a young person only gets the socialization of the binary gender to which they were assigned -- they get mandatory cishet socialization, and they see what is expected of the "other" gender, and that impacts them, and the standards for that other gender also influence how they are interpreted and seen.
And so I do think, to a certain extent, that when trans people assert that we actually didn't get socialized as our assigned gender at birth, we got socialized as the correct gender, actually, we are unfortunately ceding ground to the transphobes on a couple of key points. One, we're conceeding that there is a singular binary socialization that the two genders each get, which are separate from one another and always exhibit specific features, and two, that a person's socialization as a young person is a key determinant of their gendered experience, privilege, and identity forever, no matter what happens after they are young.
And you know, both those things are totally wrong. There is no one female socialization. I've written about this before, but I wasn't raised to be feminine. I was raised the way working-class girls are raised, which is to be no-nonsense, unfrivolous, serious, sporty, and capable -- a wife and mother, but the kind that never wears a skirt or cries in front of people. And there is no singular "male" socialization either -- I cite a few trans femme people in this piece who experienced themselves as having some male privilege before they transitioned, and some more typically "male" experiences, while also quoting a number of trans women whose lives went the exact opposite way. I assert in the piece that their experiences are theirs to name, and that there's a number of different ways we might each understand and categorize them personally -- especially when we take into account how much gendered socialization is dependent upon class, race, immigration status, diasporic status, and much more.
My view is that however you think your live played out, and whoever you find community alongside, you're right. I'm about to answer a similar ask about this from a trans masc perspective, but I'm a guy who has a ton of women friends and always have. I grew up mostly with girls as my closest buddies and we did things like playing pretend and having slumber parties and doing makeovers. I could chalk this up as a "female socialization" experience I guess if I wanted to. But I also grew up with a lot of gay boys, and I am a gay man, and guess what -- a lot of us grow up with predominately female friends. I don't think I have some essential feminine quality because my friends kept insisting on putting eyeshadow on me when I was ten. The fact I was bad at sports and couldn't be the tough, no-nonsense person that my culture expected me to be was gonna affect me whether I was a boy or a girl. And my upbringing was significantly different from that of one of my very best, oldest friends, whose family owned a successful business and were able to buy her a car and a horse and shit.
You're not betraying anything or lessening your own transfemininity by resonating with some typically "male" experiences or for having close male connections. Lots of queer women do! Just like I have plenty in common with lots of women! We don't say that cis women aren't women because they grew up tomboys, or had a ton of brothers, and the same is true of you. Even if you don't think of your younger self as "a tomboy" or even as a girl. You don't have to ascribe to the narrative that you were always one gender and always moved through the world with that identity. To demand that all trans people do so is respectability politics -- we cannot and should not require that all people be trans in the same ways. I have written before that transition to me feels at once both pre-ordained AND a choice that I made. You can say that you lived as a boy for some years or were a boy if that feels right to you, or that you had certain privileges while also suffering from dysphoria and disconnection; it's your life and you know it best and what serves you.
I wish I had narratives from trans women writers to direct you to, but for the most part the trans women who I've heard express feelings like yours have been in the support and discussion groups I've been in, and in private conversation -- I think because the socialization experiences of trans femmes are so unfairly politicized. I hope if any trans femme people see this have anything to share or any words to say that they will!
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wrong || matt sturniolo
stepbrother!matt x fem!reader
summary: where your dad found a new woman on his life after one year of your mom's death,so you are forced to live all together after a lot of pressure,but what you didn't know yet is that her son is a total temping being that will send you over the edge..in many ways.
warnings: smuttt,unprotected sex,not proofread,porn with plot,dirty talk,eating out,pet-names,suggestive,scratching,tits sucking,etc.
a/n: my first language is not English,this sure has some grammar or other errors so i am sorry<3
."đ".
"what the fuck you mean we have to move in with her?" you were basically shouting on your dad,and you weren't sure if you were more annoyed at the fact that he had moved on so far already or cause he didn't even cared to ask you if you acknowledge with it.
"i told you too many times that this is a very big and important step to me honey,besides her place is absolutely flawless,you will love it" his words only made you angrier,but you decided not to push it anymore since you knew deep down it would be waste of time,he had made his decision.
--------------------------------------
the days passed quickly,and you found yourself holding your suitcase in front of a captivating building that would change a part of your life for many years,at least your dad did not lie,it was trully more than luxurious,so with a deep sigh you walked until the doorway with him,your anxious levels on high.
after a few knocks the door opened to reveal a surprisingly tall,appealing woman standing there,with brunette silky highlights and a pretty good enough shaped body,the sight made you furrow although you could tell why your father had fallen for her.you were caught off guard when you were the one she even pulled into an embrace first and seemed in general eager to meet you.
"oh sweetie your dad has told me many things about you,i am Lana,come in,come in" you didn't had much time to process because she was pushing your hand gently inside,your eyes widening as you took in the house with your eyes,it was for sure bringing vibes of a cozy,modern place.
you didn't want to be in your normal pissy mood for the reason that she was treating you politely for now,so you made a small comment "wow,the decoration is really nice"
"oh thank you,i want you to be comfortable and feel welcomed here,you can go check the guest room that will be your own,is down the hall,if you need any help just call out my name" you nodded a little and began making your way towards the apparently new space you will probably spend most of the day at.
but,without realizing a sudden unrecognized human figure appeared in front of you while making it's way to another room,making you leave a small yelp from your lips "who are you?"
the blye eyed boy raised an eyebrow once he heard the question,letting a sarcastic laugh as he spoke "very ironic for someone to ask when they are the one in my house" oh? well he had sure attitude for the few seconds you had met him. you were about to say something in response even so he continued, a sheepish grin forming on his lips when he examined your presence through his dark eyelashes "wait..you must be my stepsister"
"huh?" was the only word you could express,you were incredibly confused--who was he? "i am Lana's son, Matt,no one informed you about me?" it was like he was able to read your thoughts,it only creeped you out more.
"no..my father must forgot to announce your existence to me" the words snarked out of your tongue as you were trying hard to act sassy,but for a disguise,cause shit the more you were observeting him the more perfect he got.
he had the necessary amount of beard to sense in case he ever trailed kisses down your body,his blue orbs seemed like they could stare deep into your soul yet in a enjoyable way,and hell those fingers were too distracting for no reason,especially with those silver rings that were practically begging for attention.just any of his facial features were ideal--however you weren't supposed to fall for him,it would be wrong.
you snapped out of your thoughts when there was a sound of a familiar voice snapping across the end of the hall,approaching the both of you excitedly,even though she was addresing specifically to you "i see you guys met,sorry darlin' i forgot to have a quick chat with you about that i have a kid..anyway he may be a pain sometimes but i am sure you will get along well with him"
--------------------------------
two weeks have passed,and she was completely wrong.every day the urge of smashing a bottle on top of his head is only increasing,he would suddenly barg into your bedroom searching for his own belongings,asserting that he often lost things by accident since he is being here from time to time--why? his set-up pc is on your area for years now.
despite that,his own bedroom is just a few steps away from yours,you have been struggling with sleeping peacefully cause he would blast music on his speaker at 2-3 am,you are almost confirmed that he must be doing it on purpose--and it doesn't end here,there is worse.
you are aware of a guy having 'needs' so the occasional echo of moaning could be heard to you from the thin paper walls,you swear that it's music to your ears and you feel like your mind is sabotaging you.he is annoying,that though didn't stopped you from having a weird desire rising in you for him,a pang on your chest with guilt for possessing the most unholy fantasizes whenever he would roam around in just a pair of sweatpants.
with all this being said,you produced a baffling bond with Matt,signs showing that he is on the same page as you,which leads you to today.laying down on your bed with your phone on your hands,stressfully ignoring his presence a few meters away.him entirely concentrated on his screen computer playing--God knows what--video games,with the controller on his hands.the silense more than unbearable.
you were determined to prove to yourself that maybe you can spend some time with him,you took advantage of him not wearing any headphones and lightly tapped his shoulder,pointing towards the black console afterwards "can i try?" you anticipated for his response,silently hoping that he doesn't mind.
Matt was kind of surpised by your request,nevertheless he had finished the round so he nodded "umh..sure" he slid off from the gaming chair while handing you the controller,your fingers barely brushing with his yet enough to make your head spinning.
you rested your body on the mesh fabric as he sat on the bed,and with a glance of the buttons you were clueless of the task in hand,not having any idea on how to participate in the online game.luckily,he noticed the confused look written on your face so he came next to you and started to make a fast learning lesson,
he taught you how to jump,how to run,how to kill,and other features you require to have in case of a proper match.as he did so,you caught him taking a few glimpses of your chest--it's not like he could help it,your crop top was exposing a certain amount of your cleavage,making it hard for him to focus.
a devilish smile curled to your face when you noticed,feeling bold enough to adjust down the shirt such as leaving only your breasts covered--matt could feel his heart beat raising,the temperature of the room turning thick once he stopped talking.
"can you show me how to jump again? i don't think i get it" you spoke,a hint of suggestiveness leaking from your tone--and he didn't want more than just to devour you right there, your father and his mother had left for shopping,so you were both totally alone which sent shivers down your back,
the tension bloomed into a insufferable feeling between the two of you,causing your breath to hitch around your throat,especially when you felt his fingers starting to touch yours fully in attempt to answer your previous 'request'.a hushed gasp breaking out from you when there was a unexpected hand gesture tracing your thigh in a agonizingly pace--screw this.
with a smooth shift of your face and waist you palmed his cheeks,bringing his lips to yours into a fiery dance.he didn't hesitate to shove his tongue in your mouth,impatiently exploring your taste before nipping down your bottom lip,eliciting a moan from you that get's shallowed against him,
the sound you made vibrated through matt's whole body,landing directly straight to his core and he could feel his jeans growing tight around his crotch,he didn't ever remembered himself getting hard from just a making out session--he craved more,he needed more,and so did you.
his hands started travelling their way to your stomach,crawling upwards until he squeezed your nipples over the fabric of your top and reaching to lift it up, "is this okay?" you nodded desperately at the question,he didn't wasted time by taking it off over your head,unclasping with one motion your bra afterwards to shower your bare chest with open-mouthed kisses,
your hums of approval soon turned into whimpers when he wrapped his mouth on the flesh of your left breast,swirling his tongue around it while his hand pinched the other between his free fingers,he repeated his actions by giving the same treatment to your right one after.
with a loud pop he pulled away,slowly reaching under the gaming chair so he is on his knees,his eye pupils half-lidded and fluttering over your face before he yanks off your shorts with panties,exposing your already wet dripping pussy to his hungry gaze,
"fuck you are soaked,how long have you been dreaming this? have you been waiting for me to finally pleasure you sweetheart?" you could him mutter cooing through gritted teeth,licking at your thighs in a intractable speed as he itches towards the arching spot in between your legs,lavishing his attention there as he made a long stripe up on your clit,making you buck your hips against his face shamelessly,
your nails found his hair,gripping and tugging on it for support,dragging a hiss from his mouth as he began to lap on your juices like you were his last meal,you started riding his face while whining pathetically,the obsence resounds filling the room as he continued to satisfy you.
his index finger rubbed your entrance,letting you shaking for more and barely hearing his gagged whispers "you taste so fucking amazing,such an intoxicating cunt",your lower abdomen started quivering into the familiar knot,reminding you of your approaching release,making you clench uncontrollably around his mouth,
"come on,finish all over face baby" matt sneered out when he sucked on robs of your pre-cum, your lips forming a perfect 'o' shape in the same time you swirled your digits on his roots so his head is forced to be still there,with a long pornographic moan you erupted,spurting thick,white jets that made your legs glistening.
after pulling away he swooped you into his arms,carrying you bridal-style on the mattress of the bed,him laying down firstly before grasping your sides stronly,helping you to be on top of him as he guided your hips so you can push against his clothed erection,the sensation maddening for the both of you.
your still sensitive heat grinded back and forth,feeling his cock poking under you so your hands progress to tug the zipper of his jeans down,sliding them down along with his boxers to his ankles in a way of exposing his throbbing tip,you usually didn't liked how dicks looked but matt's was different; a needy tenderness to have it deep inside you,he adjusted with ease the head down your folds,and with no doubt you sinked down on his length.
a unbidden squeal slipped from you as he grunted repeatedly,his grunts turned into loud groans of pure filthiness as soon as you started bouncing yourself,your tight walls squelching him, sending him closer to the edge even though it hadn't passed a minute of you riding him,his back arching forward which gave you the opportunity of scratching down the skin of his behind shoulders,
"such a good girl,fucking yourself on your stepbrother's cock, such a whore f'me" his words actually made you feel pitiful yet encouraging your movements to speed up their pace,his hips thrusting up to meet yours so he can pound into your hole frequently, "c-close" you panted out,your second orgasm increasing through you as your walls clinged around him,the actions driving matt insane "going to fill you up,do you want that? do you want me to cum inside you?"
you miserably sobbed in bliss and let a ''hphm'' of approval,before you knew it matt had busted,his climax exploding extremely hard into your pussy,following suit after him with your head throwed back and stopping after a minute so you can pull yourself out of him,both of you being a panting mess,
"that was incredible" "i am never letting you to even enter my room again"
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evelyn speaks!! thank you so much for 250 followers jixijcmjg,my last post with Matt got more than 800 notes likeee insane,thank you ALL for the support it means everything xoxođ€đ€
tags! @writtensturn @pixiespax @verywonderlandpolice @itsnotmariahh @user9383738392 @monroesturnns @badussybumper @nwlluvsturnsstars17 @shadowthesim
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo fandom#smut#sturniolo smut#matt x reader#sturniolo imagine#fanfic#fandom#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo
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