#i hope you're doing alright

[thedeepmiracleperfection]

Major shout out to the person who decided that yesterday, mother fucking election night of all nights, was the perfect day to watch season 2 for the first time. Bestie, the feelings you must be experiencing right now, I don't think they have names for yet. Shrimp emotions.

[emphistic]

one of my first mutuals deactivated; feel like i lost a parent

[chuuya-brainrot]

my jaw quite literally dropped at your tags today...

(btw hruuuuu pookie?? <3)

LMAOOOOO

I'll be so much more feral >:)

Thank you so much for the food, as always (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

(I'm doing alright, just trying to study for exams lololol, how are you doing?)

[soaps-mohawk]

hii i hope ur okay!!

i hope this message isn’t overbearing or anything but i just wanted to let you know that i love your work! i’m dealing with grief right now for the first time in my life and i appreciate having CRCB to look forward to reading every week!

Definitely not overbearing anon!! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Grief is so difficult and it's such a hard thing to face. I know it all too well. I hope you have some support going through this and know we're all here for you 🫶

[bookwyrminspiration]

Response to an ask from Ophelia:

Ophelia! Hello! Glad the message I forgot is fine, it's an unfortunate thing I do all the time but there really is nothing behind it. Just forgetfulness--the moment the notif bubble is gone if I haven't responded to it it's getting forgotten.

That being said, on to the issue. I can tell you that what you're experiencing is not normal and you're not overreacting. Some people may experience what you do in small doses, but not to the extreme you're describing.

I'm not a mental health expert, so keep that in mind, but based on what you're describing and what I do know about mental health, the two things it might benefit you to look into further are OCD and psychosis/psychotic disorders (suggesting these may seem intimidating at first, but it's okay). I don't have the authority to say "oh you have these!" but some of what you're describing matches the symptoms as I'm familiar with them, so it may be worthwhile to investigate.

My reasoning is that they may be obsessive thoughts (If I don't do this, I'll die. If I don't do this, people can read my mind) that cause you distress. That distress leads to compulsively doing something to alleviate it (repeating sentences of thanks, checking home pages). That doesn't mean doing it makes you feel good, it might just temporarily get rid of the obsessive worry. Here's a link to the International OCD Foundation's explanation and examples, which is one of many sources you can review.

The second part you describe also seems to match descriptions of delusions in psychosis, believing something very strongly that's untrue (I know the typical thought is psychosis=hallucinations, but that's not strictly true). You aren't aware that these things you believe aren't real and to you they're absolutely true. It's a disconnect from reality and can lead to fear and confusion when you try and figure out what's true. Here's a link to a site covering some symptoms you can look through. You may notice on that list is the thinking someone is planning to kill you, and it's not listed but the thinking you're being recorded is also a fairly common one as far as I'm away. There are more sources, that's just one I found.

I think you're already doing well describing your experience and putting it to words. To the doctor I would probably say something like: I am consistently struggling to connect to reality and have intense periods where I believe things that aren't in any way true (and give an example or two). It's severe enough that other people in my life notice and it stops me from being able to live normally. I also get intense distressing thoughts (give an example) I can't get rid of until I soothe them with repeatedly doing something (give an example), despite knowing those thoughts aren't rational.

The examples you've given are very helpful, so I'd also suggest including them when talking to the doctor. Another thing that could help is telling them that this isn't coming from you, but instead making sure they know someone else (in this case me) is aware you're looking into things and involved. Saying like "my friend suggested looking into OCD and psychosis, do you know anything about that?" can make doctors treat you more seriously because it's not just you and them. And because it's not you introducing the avenues to look into, it's me, so they're less likely to think you're overreacting.

None of this makes you seem weird or dumb, and I hope some of what I've said/linked can be of use. I'm not an expert, so these are just things to look into that have the potential to be useful or lead to something. I'd be more than willing to help further (look for resources, help you figure things out, etc), but I also don't know how much use I can be.

Either way, emotionally i am preparing a picnic as we sit in the grass :)

[bocchidaily]

Could you draw Bocchi like really happy? I think I need that right now…

Day 74: unbothered, moisturized, in her lane, flourishing

[gods-perfect-idiots]

was overcome with the urge to draw "wade tenderly caressing logan's face while he's Feeling Big Angsty Stuff" and then the parallel urge to do a follow-up of "logan kissing wade's hand/holding onto him for dear life"

(anyway hope you like it - I have been looking at this for too long and so of course I hate it now 🫠 art is hard guys lol)

some details below the cut because I am happy with some small aspects - still really enjoying the painting part of doing Wade's scars for example (thanks again @woof-verine for that inspo it is just baked into my psyche now, and also for being a forever enjoyer of pointy ears Logan - sorry couldn't quite get the fangs in this time but they are there trust me!!)

ps. was listening to She Calls Me Back by Noah Kahan for this one. idk it just hits for me in my poolverine-addled state lol

[noxious-fennec]

Hands are too shaky these days

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bingqiu ponies (Happy Birthday @Piosplayhouse!)

[royalarchivist]

Wilson took over Rubius' setup today and refused to let him move the camera, going so far as to grab his arm with his tiny little paws MULTIPLE times so Rubius would keep petting him 🥹💕

Wilson is my favorite streamer.

[sailorjisunq]

so beautiful, beautiful 그 누구 보다 아름다울 너니까 아프지 마 울지 마 널 향한 노래가 들린다면 다시 돌아와

[wayfayrr]

I’LL THROW HANDS WITH ANY OF YOUR EXES THAT MADE YOU FEEL LIKE LESS, YOU ABSOLUTELY ARE LOVABLE, NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE MOSS <3

But also had me clutching my phone to my chest with the luck part 😭 you’re so sweet I’m sending so much love through the internet <33

I know I already made a request (which again, take as long as you need, I am more than happy to wait however long <3) but I’m so serious when I say that I need to request something sweet with self aware asexual Sky, specifically him cuddling with reader, just lying his head on their chest as they rest their cheek against his head while like, maybe they play a lil cozy game; Stardew or something- whether they are playing that game together, or Sky is just watching reader while they play, I have no preference, I just need wholesome fluff <333

~🍀 anon

I'm pretty much over it now!! made me feel like shit but eh - I'm so happy to be separate from them now :P they were a real piece of shit ngl but they don't matter anymore!

I couldn't help myself!! what can I say, it was just so tempting to refer to luck in some way - I mean your emoji is a four-leaf clover!!/aff

I did choose to do this request first cause it felt fitting for pride month (I say posting this within the last 10 minutes) but I also realised there's no way to make something noticeably ace without announcing it - so this just comes across more as soft cuddles <3 but I still think it's sweet

[masterlist]

He’s much warmer than I thought he’d be, considering he hasn’t had a pulse, or blood, or a body for very long at all, only about a week as of now. Yet he’s already mostly a natural with it, only needing a gentle reminder every now and then to breathe compared to when he was freshly - fresher out of the game and needed a nudge every couple of minutes to remember. 

It’s perfect for times like this though, just the two of us lying together taking the time to be in each other's presence and it’s hardly surprising that he’s stuck to me like glue knowing what he’s been through. I can’t help but become more enamoured with him through it all as well, while he’s not entirely like how I imagined his character would’ve been like if this kind of thing happened, if anything I’d say… he’s better. Cuddly, soft and sleepy like you’d assume from how he’s shown in-game but also just so, so much sweeter and sassier than he was shown. It’s charming. 

“You forgot to water the pumpkins my dove.”

“I didn’t but thank you for the reminder sweetheart.”

It feels comfortable calling him that now, It wasn’t immediately and he respected that, now I really couldn’t help falling for him. Right now I can feel myself slipping and falling in love with him more and more, he knows what he’s doing I’m sure of it but despite knowing that it’s impossible to stop myself. The smallest things like how he intertwined his fingers around mine while I hold the switch, resting his head on my chest. Even how his hair rustles on my chest with how he’s laying on top of me is downright addictive, driving me deeper and deeper into his spell. 

“[name], [name] love you still haven’t watered the pumpkins.”

“I’m walking over to them, I know you can see our farmer moving.��� 

“Mhm, but I know you aren’t focused on the game.”

“How can I be when you’re acting like this?”

“Acting like what love?”

Where do I begin to describe how he’s been acting? That he’s been extra soft tonight? That he’s been even more gentle than usual with how he’s holding my hands and resting on me? That he’s stolen the softest clothes I own to wear right now? That since he’s started washing his hair with my conditioner his hair is so silky and fluffy and good melling that I just want to bury my face in- He knows exactly what I’m struggling to say out loud, his little giggle spelling it out instantly. 

“Acting like your partner?”

“...”

“Acting like your boyfriend?”

“...Wouldn’t any way you act be acting like my boyfriend?”

“I-!”

Never in my life would I have thought something like that would slip from my mouth that easily, making him stop breathing. And for once? It makes me forget to remind him to too.

[kyouka-supremacy]

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[canisalbus]

It's unexpectedly cold in coastal Canada right now (it's raining and snowing very hard and fast, and before the sun set it was also very sunny) and the floors are cold, so I find myself concerned for your warmth. Are you doing alright?

Aw, that's very sweet of you to ask, I'm fine! Here in Northern Finland it's slowly getting warmer, the temperatures seem to stay at around 0°C during the day so the snow has started to melt. Then it gets a little colder at night and those wet slushy roads freeze, and when it warms up again the next day there's a layer of water on top of the melting ice and as you can imagine it gets extremely slippery. I cycle everywhere throughout the year and even with winter tires it's kind of precarious. Other than that I'm enjoying the increasing amount of natural light and the birds have started to sing again.

[hyperfixationstation128]

Tears are not always a bad thing. Better for them to flow freely than build up and drown you from the inside.

ugh i've had enough. i just want to walk into the forest/the sea/the moor and disappear

[taiyami]

TAI MY BELOVED, may i humbly request gojo or rengoku if you don’t have any requests for them already? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

ANY EXCUSE TO DRAW RENGOKU AGAIN IS A GOOD ONE IN MY OPINION.