#i hope you're all staying safe in this pandemic though love you

[super-unpredictable98]

The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 4

Chapter 1: Your Dreams Came True, Now What?

Warning: Strong language, guns

a/n: Hello everyone! I really missed The Eighth Child and I hope you all have as well. We can all agree this season was pure bullshit, so here I am with a very short series of chapters to fix it. Welcome to the final show, hope you all like it <3 also thank you so much @jozstankovich for supporting me and being my guinea pig beta reader

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

"Of course we're coming, Dieguito!" Victoria said on the phone while trying to tame Fortune's big curly mane. "Tunnie is very excited to play with Gracie and the twins. Alright, see you later!"

"Lunch is ready," Klaus called from the kitchen. He wore a frilly apron on top of his completely normal and absolutely not flamboyant outfit. "No no no! Fortune, don't run, we don't wanna get hurt, right?"

"Right, a safe girl is a happy girl!" She repeated what her father always said.

Something about the pandemic mixed with Fortune growing into her own person, realizing Victoria was no longer indestructible, and Klaus staying fully sober, made him into a complete nut job. He was scared of absolutely anything and everything that could harm him and his family. The idea of dying and not being there to raise his kids was too much for him to even think about.

"You too, Liebling, you're in no condition to run," he caressed her baby bump.

Victoria and Klaus started off their married life as happy as can be, but the real world was right ahead and with his new sobriety and paranoia, it became harder and harder for her to... how should one put it... feel attracted to him.

Klaus was a completely changed man, his wife didn't necessarily like that. But alas, every once in a while, they still had some romance and of course she got pregnant by chance one of those times.

"I'm not sick, Klausie. Don't you remember when I was pregnant with Fortune and we would party all night in the clubs near campus? I was fine and so is she."

"I know, I know, but we were totally irresponsible! The world was different too, no COVID for starters..." He shivered before taking a bite of his risotto.

Victoria sighed, looking at the several cardboard boxes surrounding them. Right after marrying, she used her saved money to rent the apartment she used to rent back in her college days with Klaus, she loved that place and it was special to begin their new lives there.

After about a year, she made enough money with her bakery for a downpayment on the apartment. But now with their second child on the way, it wasn't viable to live in such a tiny place, even though it hurt to let it go.

"Something wrong, Mommy?" Fortune asked, seeing her mother's face. Sadness, conformity, longing, and a little disgust in her eyes.

"No, baby, I'm okay," Victoria sighed, but her husband also noticed that look. It had started about two and a half years ago when he was really focused on his sobriety journey, she seemed to simply lose interest in the person he was becoming.

Every morning, he woke up afraid she'd be gone. Every day when she left for work, he was scared she'd meet someone more exciting that would fill that void he unwillingly left behind. He was terrified she'd leave him like she did back when they were younger.

"Hey, Schatzi, since Fortune is having that sleepover with Gracie tonight, we should do something special," Klaus suggested.

"Like what?" She gave him that vacant look like she was dead inside.

"Romantic dinner, watching a movie, some... special cuddles," he winked.

"Sure," she sighed. Something horribly dangerous happens when your dreams come true... You're stuck with them.

**

"Die Hard!" Diego opened the door to Brigaderia Oito, Victoria's bakery. "How's it going? How's Klus?"

"It's alright, he's... sober," she mumbled. "Ah Dieguito, married life isn't what I signed up for."

"Trouble in paradise, huh? It's tough, marriage is hard work. I feel like everything I do is meaningless, but in the end, we're with the people we love, and we have amazing kids. We built something good."

"I guess so," she nodded, giving him his usual carrot cake with gooey brigadeiro on top. "I just wish Klaus would go back to being... Klaus. Not the drugs you know, but the wild nature, it's like he's broken. We barely ever have sex anymore."

"Ew! I don't wanna hear about that!" Diego pretended to gag. "My two siblings having sex? Barf!"

She rolled her eyes and placed her hand on her belly before turning to get Grace's birthday cake. She baked it and decorated it herself with cute jungle animals.

"Oh, it looks amazing!" He gasped. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing, it's part of her present. Only the best for my goddaughter."

"Thank you so much, Vicky," he smiled, giving her a hug over the counter and giving her belly a pat. "Already know if it's a girl or a boy?"

"Not yet, we'll get to know on the next ultrasound."

"Hope it's a boy this time, my little man needs more friends, he's drowning in estrogen."

She huffed and gave him a playful shove. "Keep the cake in the fridge."

"Thanks a million, Vicky! I'll see you later."

"See you later," she turned to pick up the phone. "Hello, Brigadeiria Oito, how can I help you?"

"It's me, Schnucki!" Klaus said into the phone. "I just picked up Fortune from school, she choked on the pulp of her orange juice."

"What? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's okay now, she just had a little coughing fit and was back to normal... it's just, that she got scared and wanted to come back home."

"Klaus! I can't believe you pulled our daughter out of school because she lightly choked on juice! You're gonna ruin her with all this coddling!"

"She was scared!"

"Because she sees you scared all the damn time!"

"We can talk about this later after the party. She's here now and listening."

"Why did you put me on speaker?"

"Holding a cell phone close to your ear isn't good because the temperature-"

"JESUS CHRIST! SHUT UP!" She shouted and only then she noticed there was a client waiting for her. "Just a second, I'll be with you in no time..."

"Why are you like this? Pregnancy hormones driving you crazy?" He asked.

"No, Klaus, you are! Talk to you later, I have to work... someone has to work in this household!"

**

"Why is Mama mad at you?" Fortune asked as she rode in the back of Allison's car with Claire and her father to the party venue.

"Mama is nervous because she's pregnant, that makes mommies a little angry sometimes," Klaus said, adjusting her seat belt for the millionth time.

"She said it wasn't because of the baby."

"Alright... you know, sometimes daddies and mommies fight, my Tunnie baby, but that doesn't mean it's forever and it doesn't mean something bad is gonna happen."

"What if you two split?" The little girl frowned.

"That's not happening, your parents have been attached at the hip since they were toddlers," Allison chuckled. "It was kinda disgusting."

"If you're Aunt Vicky's sister and Uncle Klaus' sister... does that mean they're siblings too?" Claire asked.

"That's a very long very lovely story for when you're a little bit older, Claire-bear" Klaus said before turning back to his daughter. "My little princess, don't worry about mommy, okay? I'm always here for you, and she'll always be here for you too, we love you more than the entire universe. It's just that things changed a little, but nothing that cannot be fixed."

"Hey, guys!" Victoria waved at them once they parked, she was bringing four boxes of party sweets, Brazilian style of course... beijinho, brigadeiro, bicho de pé, ninho e nutella, casadinho.

"Hey! Hey! Don't go around carrying that! You're in no condition!" Klaus took his car helmet off and rushed to help her with the boxes.

"Relax, she's pregnant, not dead," Lila came right behind with the huge bottles of soda.

"Leave it to me," he insisted.

Once they were inside, Grace and the twins came running to meet Claire and Fortune. Victoria hugged her nieces and nephew, as did Klaus before Diego gave them a look and pointed with his eyes to the doll house which was secluded and empty.

"We need to talk," she mumbled.

"Yeah... don't take your eyes off Fortune, Claire," Klaus asked. "Don't let her eat or drink anything with red 40 or 4-MEI!"

"You say as if we didn't sneak out at least three times a week to stuff our faces with doughnuts at Griddy's..." Victoria sighed as she pulled him to the doll house.

"We had superpowers and it was a different time, we were young and dumb."

"We enjoyed life," she sat down on a tiny pink chair. "We don't need to feed our child crack, but if she drank a little coke once in a while, she'll be fine!"

"What happened to us?" He looked up with puppy eyes. "We haven't fucked since we conceived this baby, you look at me like I'm a pile of cow shit, you turn your face when I go to kiss you..."

"It just hurts to see what you became. This isn't the man I married. You need therapy."

"This again? No therapy! I don't need it and we probably can't afford it."

"You're going insane!"

"Give me a chance, okay? I promise I'll make it right tonight when we get home."

She nodded, wanting more than anything to believe him. "Alright, let's see about tonight."

When the couple left the doll house, the entire family was already there, well almost the entire family.

"Oh give me a break... fake Ben is here? Who invited him?" Victoria huffed, she never really accepted Sparrow Ben as a part of the family, because he wasn't. She was even a little happy when he was arrested, meaning he'd stay away.

"Believe me, I didn't wanna be here either," he rolled his eyes.

"Come on guys, no fighting!" Luther emerged from the ball pit. "It's a family night."

"Yeah, you're right, can't let him ruin it... Cincooooo!" She went to hug Five. "Look at you, all grown up! It's like every day you get bigger, come here, little CIA man!"

"I'm not a damn child, you know?" He reluctantly hugged her back. "And I'm not little!"

"Where's Viktor?" She asked.

"He said he was coming," Luther smiled.

"Victoria, can we go outside for a little bit? I'm hyperventilating, this place is so full of people and nobody's wearing a mask," Klaus whispered.

She shook her head defeated. "Just take deep breaths, honey, it's okay. Did you see fake Ben is back? Look, our brothers are here, we're still waiting for Viktor though."

"Vicky!" Diego called from a corner while holding a piñata.

She was happy to leave Klaus to calm down for a moment and join her other brother. "What's up?"

"Does this look like a West Side piñata to you? I mean, it's clearly East Side, right?"

"Um... what's the difference?"

"The fringe, the eyes, the colors! And the fact that Lila told me she'd be on the West Side today and this looks like an East Side piñata."

"Oh Dieguito... don't overthink, it's probably a misunderstanding, let's not jump to conclusions, alright?"

"Maybe you were right, you know? I work all day and it kills me, the kids suck whatever energy I have left, and the in-laws... I'm glad they're alive in this timeline, but I don't want them living in our house."

Victoria nodded, understanding the feeling, but she didn't want their marriage to end because of her own doubts.

"Hey, cariño, come on... I know I didn't like Lila when you first got together, but she really grew on me. She's a good mom and she really loves you. It's just a rough patch."

"Liebling, please... can we step out just a little bit?" Klaus approached them.

Accepting her fate, she nodded and took his hand so they could get some fresh air. But the moment she stepped out, she knew something was wrong, there was a wrapped gift on the pavement and she picked it up.

"From Uncle Viktor?" She read the card.

"Why would he leave the gift on the street and take off?" Klaus wondered.

She started looking around for clues and after some inspection, she found a note on her windshield.

"Your brother Viktor has been kidnapped. Follow my exact instructions and no harm will come to him," she read the contents of the note. "Fucking shit cunt ass motherfucker... let's get the others."

**

After leaving Lila's parents in charge of the party, the old Hargreeves clan and Lila jumped into Diego's van and they headed to the address written on the note.

"Everyone stay behind me, I got a gun," Five announced, pulling his revolver as they entered the dry cleaner corresponding to the number they were given.

"Did you bring a gun to a children's birthday party?" Klaus hissed, his face covered by a gas mask. "Can you smell this? This place is a chemical wasteland."

"Says the man who made me swim in the fucking sewer six years ago," Victoria huffed.

"It's Viktor!" Luther pointed at the short man tied up to a chair with a bag over his head.

She ran and got the bag off. "Oh hey, Vik, long time no see!"

"Hey Vic yourself..." he mumbled as she started untying him with the help of Luther.

"Who kidnapped you? Dad and his goons?" She asked.

"I doubt it, this is amateur hour," Five shook his head.

"I apologize if my methods are a little crude, but it's my first kidnapping," A man came from the back. He looked harmless enough, but he held a gun, so out of instinct, Victoria stood in front of Klaus like a shield. "Hopefully it'll be my last, but I need your help."

"Kidnapping our brother and pointing a gun at us won't buy you much goodwill," Five murmured, pointing his gun at the man.

"It was the only way I could make sure you came here, all of you. I couldn't leave anything to chance, especially when it comes to the Umbrella Academy."

"Wow, haven't heard that name in years!" Victoria scoffed.

"Sorry pal, the Umbrella Academy doesn't exist," Five said.

"Only in our hearts," she completed.

The man put the gun down and opened a box full of artifacts, pictures, newspaper articles, masks, action figures...

"Oh look! The time we saved the Eiffel Tower! Remember?" Vicky smiled. "Zombie Gustav Eiffel!" She said in a silly voice.

"Where did you get this?" Diego asked.

"It was all in this box in the back of my daughter's car. Her name is Jennifer."

"Ugh, I hate that name," Victoria groaned, she had hated this name since the incident that took her brother's life.

"I don't know where she got it, but about a year ago she met these new friends and she started going to these strange meetings. Some very strange people, call themselves The Keepers. And then over time, she stopped talking to me, I believe something terrible happened, because we were very close."

Klaus picked Dave's dog tags from the box and frowned, which made Victoria's blood boil. She was very understanding of that whole thing when it happened, but lately, she didn't need much to get angry at him.

"Put that shit back!" She snagged the chain from his hands and threw it in the box.

"Sorry, sorry..." He mumbled.

"How did you find us?" Luther asked.

"I saw you on TV, Toss N' Wash," the strange man pointed at Allison.

"Ha! See? No small parts," Klaus poked his sister's shoulder.

"I've been watching you for a while actually and I apologize. I'm so sorry! I know you'd probably kill me if you could," the man looked at Victoria. "But she's all I have left, you must know what that feels like."

"I actually do," she sighed. "But we're not the same as we were, we don't have powers anymore."

"Yeah, we're not special," Diego agreed.

"Speak for yourself, tubby," Ben whispered under his breath and earned a punch in the shoulder from Victoria.

"I might not have powers, but I can kick your ass!"

"Give us 24 hours, we'll find your daughter," Five took the box quickly.

"Yes! Thank you!" The man cried. "Thank you very much, Umbrella Academy! I think you're special!"

"Five! What are you doing?" Allison hissed, following him outside. "You know we can't help, why did you do that?"

"Because... of this," Five pulled out a jar of marigold from the box.

**

"What I wanna know is how the daughter of a dry cleaner ends up with a jar of marigold in the trunk of her car," Five wondered.

The siblings decided to grab dinner at a Japanese restaurant and discuss their theories.

"Could it be something to do with Dad?" Klaus clumsily shoved rice into his mouth with the chopsticks (because of course, raw fish was too dangerous to eat with all the contamination risks)

"No, he took away our powers, and for good reason," Victoria shook her head.

"How do we know that's not just glow stick juice?" Diego teased.

"For the sake of discussion, let's say this is legit. Does anyone here actually want their power back?" Five asked.

"No way!" Klaus yelped. "For the first time in my life, I'm sober... and happy. And most importantly 100% poltergeist free."

"You're anything but free, you don't leave the house and you wear gloves and a mask in public," Victoria pointed out.

"At least I'm in control."

"Hmm I smell divorce," Ben taunted.

"Shut the fuck up! You're not even one of us, fuck off," she grabbed the jar of marigold and held tightly to it.

"It's a hard no for me too. I have a bar, a life..." Viktor quickly said to end the discussion.

"You're all such losers, we should be mainlining this shit right now!" Ben groaned.

"Whoever wants powers back, raise your hand!" Victoria stood up. Nobody raised their hands except Ben.

"We have everything we need," Lila shrugged.

"Damn right, and as much as I hate Dad, he's extremely intelligent. He took away our powers because they were the cause of apocalypse after apocalypse after apocalypse. This way we are safe and the world is safe. Majority wins and I'm taking this cause I don't trust you, little weasel." Victoria shoved her finger in Ben's face. "Now let's go home, and stop flossing in public, Klaus, fucking disgusting. You're not making me wanna have sex with you any more by being gross."

Tag List: @salvador-daley @seanfalco

[audriel]

hi audriel! Didnt know you had tumblr and had to double-check. I really love your fangrui fics on ao3! I noticed some were taken down? And thank you so much for always posting fangrui pics on discord!! Really appreciate it. Really like how approachable and friendly you are on discord, feels like talking to a friend who you can gush about fandom stuffs with, hope you have a good day ahead!

questions, when did you first started to like qzgs, and what made you do it? What are your top 3 fav chars? Did it ever change? What do you like about them?

hi anon! actually, i made my ao3 and tumblr account almost at the same time, so you're safe! i joined discord pretty recently, that's why i unfortunately lost my chance to use the name audriel there >_<

another fang rui lover! thank you! i'm glad you like them! <333

i'm just so happy that i found people who loves qzgs to gush over together. and to spread all the fang rui love. so thank you for being so kind and welcoming! it took quite a lot of courage for me to finally ask to join the server, and participate actively. it's thanks to everyone in the discord.

are you asking the moon in autumn? it's still there, but only accessible for ao3 users since it's a long fic, and i do have concerns for data scraping for fanfictions. if let's start thinkin' bout it gets long enough, i might end up doing the same. i might only unlock them for few days when there's a new update.

now onto your questions!

i'm pretty sure it's due to the pandemic. since i started to read a lot of korean webtoons/manhwa that's almost always adapted from webnovels, i ended up reading a lot of them during that time (there was not much to do but stay at home after all). however, they were very rarely completed. oh the horror. so i looked for recommendations and there was quan zhi gao shou/the king's avatar on the list. it's highly rated and reviewed, and it's completed! even though it's chinese webnovel and not the genre i usually read (online games, more so professional gaming), so i gave it a try, and boy i'm so very glad i do. i'm hooked.

it has everything i love to read in a story: a smart, powerful protagonist; rich, complex characters and world; and a wonderful storytelling.

the only downside? i'm late to the the fandom. QAQ

i think we all love ye xiu, it's no brainer right? he's perfect but also imperfect at the same time. his strength in character and in his belief is so admirable that i sorely wish i had a fraction of it. but at the same time as a protag, we didn't see much from his perspective. so he's not the character i resonate with the most. definitely top three, but not the top. qiao yifan was my best boi then. i can relate with his struggle the most. and i love seeing him learning and growing under ye xiu's wings. from the transparent tiny herb player to the most stable, reliable happy rookie. i'm so looking forward to the person he'll be in the future.

then there's fang rui. he's overshadowed by huang shaotian at first. huang shaotian is so lively, so distinctive, so difficult to look away from. so at the beginning my top three was qiao yifan, ye xiu and huang shaotian.

only on my reread that fang rui finally caught my eye. at first, he and huang shaotian look so similar and differ greatly with other oh so serious captains and god-level players in that they are bright and lively, and they are open with their emotions. but i end up thinking twice at the latter. huang shaotian is an open book, fang rui is not.

wait, wait are we reading the same novel?

fang rui feels like an open book, because we have seen his own perspective, we've seen his thoughts and emotions. but whenever we've got outsiders' perspective on him, fang rui is always playful even he performs badly. if anything, he acts out, hams it up, just like when he miscommunicated with mo fan or when he lost so badly that he sat in the corner to reflect. when he's troubled, most often he closes up, just like when lin jingyan approached him when tyranny dropped by or when he was so tired after taking on zhou zekai and lu boyuan in his bad condition.

meanwhile, huang shaotian can put up a public persona like the celebrity he is, but overall he doesn't really bother to hide how he feels, just like when he didn't want to talk after he lost in the finals and when he questioned yu feng after he went to hundred blossoms (even he got the first turn in beating up liu hao lol). in summary, huang shaotian is the real open book. we can count on him for being honest, and also being loyal. while at the same time, he's such an stealthy assassin and deadly opportunist on stage. it makes him such an appealing character and a favorite among the fandom.

but for me, the complexity and contrast of fang rui really caught my eye. that there's more to him that it meets the eye. which is admittedly my favorite type of character. it shows that he has an exceptional emotional intelligence, he understands emotions, his own and others, and he doesn't shy away from it, more so, he owns it. i have admiration for calm and composed characters, but i admire more those who obviously struggling with his emotions but still retain their calm and composure. and that fits fang rui to the t.

because damn, when we put it into context, fang rui has the hardest time in season 10. ye xiu (and qiao yifan) did have a hard time with their previous team, ye xiu can be also said as the reason for excellent era, his beloved team's demise. but the fans and later qiu fei gave him hope for the team to be reborn, then su mucheng joined him in happy, all he needs is to focus on the championship that he's back in the alliance. fang rui?

he has to leave his beloved team and account, then he transforms to a completely different class with a wholly new account, at the huge risk to himself, then he has to fight his former partner/mentor repeatedly until being the one to end lin jingyan's career. the latter feels dramatic, but considering how fang rui's performance is visibly affected by lin jingyan's decline, i'm not surprised if that's how it feels from his perspective. and yet... he gives himself the hardest time when he performs badly in the finals, for not giving his best for happy. he just wanted to return the trust given to him. even though he was exhausted, he still did his best to assure the team. i just... the moment i put things into perspective, i think fall in love right then and there, and there's no coming back from it.

so my current top three: fang rui, qiao yifan, and ye xiu.

i think there's a pattern right there. all three are happy. all three have transformed. all three have left their teams, not by choice. all have suffered rejections and come up victorious.

thank you for the wonderful ask! i don't mind if you have more questions! i enjoy it very much! i can do the same for you if you wish. just let me know!

[bisluthq]

////perhaps but “nor progressing the relationship when she was still fully emotionally committed” is a funny thing to say because how do you know someone is emotionally committed?? This is what I’m asking?? ///

Well I'm taking her at face value from what she's said in her songs for 6 years whilst dating him. Like she's literally there saying 'you say I abandoned the ship but I was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip', that she was the one trying to make him laugh and drill the safe and wanting to get married etc. And with everything up till midnights (and on most of midnights) she's writing song after song about being in love with him, and them being destined, and waiting to be together forever and she'll lose it if he leaves etc. Obviously we're never gonna KNOW if people were emotionally committed in a relationship we weren't a part of, but taylor sticking with joe for 6 years, and spending at least 18 months in a period of YLM and bejewelled with a matty option brewing she could hav easily jumped to, very much shows that she was emotionally committed to joe long after she felt he was giving her nothing back. Like you've said, she was hoping he'd pull the rabbit out of the hat and say they'd get married cos she was just waiting for him to fucking DO something for years cos she was in love with him, that is not the emotional state and actions of an ambivalent person imo.

I'm simply trying to say that you seem very willing to disregard this extremely plausible course of events that's right there from taylor's mouth (where we get 99% of our info from these people we don't know). But you will act like there's some definitive proof Joe was unchanged and right about not getting married from some enlightened place (bloody communicate bro or leave her then because she's been hoping for years for you to get married), and that Taylor projected shit to leave him for matty with no nuance really. Like she gets no benefit of the doubt or credence to her own version of events which is very clearly communicated. You brought up your own situation (fair enough) which you seem to be latching onto this and disregarding other takes. I'm not saying you can't have your own takes but you seem very entrenched in one line of thinking and I don't really get why cos it's not based on much beyond you relating to what you think Joe's position here was, in conflict with what Taylor actually describes it as? Like you're generally pretty fair to both sides but you seem to be giving joe a complete pass beyond 'he was maybe shitty at the end', and maybe he was but you seem weirdly staunch in that for no reason.

”bloody communicate bro or leave her then because she's been hoping for years for you to get married” - but this is being shitty and I’ve said this many times? Yes I relate to Joe in this situation because like I said my ex accused me of wasting her time and shit like that wasn’t nice of her but also like idk it took two to tango? I was both the joe and the Taylor there because I stay stay stayed because this bitch wouldn’t go go go as I said and eventually like I went went went and it actually sucked. And I do still care for her and hope she’s fine and we do talk about the cats and stuff like once a month and it’s… fine. But like it’s just a shitty situation to be in? And fwiw like just before we broke up like we were looking at buying a house, much like T/J like we just were because it sorta made sense and prices in the pandemic were low so it seemed sensible even though I spent every viewing appointment being like “WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE BESTIE I LEGIT SAW SOMEONE ELSE FOR A SPELL LIKE HOW ARE YOU STILL HERE????” So yeah I’m sympathetic to both parties. I think Joe sucked at the end (as my ex did) and I think Taylor sucked at the end (as I did) and I think all of us have reasons for sucking like from my ex’s pov I asked to break up, immediately started seeing someone else, she asked (she hates the word begged but lol she did) for us to try harder, we tried, lockdown was happening, my mental health went to shit (also on her but obviously not because no one causes you to be depressed and unable to shower), I left to go to my dad lol and he put me in clinic because my state was so bad. I think she has her own POV on what happened which I’d guess goes like she tried so hard and tried properly to make plans and I wouldn’t propose or buy a house and anyway I always liked guys all along and I drink too much and get stoned too often and I have all these guy friends (recurring theme doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or girl apparently that I’m actually with) that I’m super close to and like her version would be SHE TRIED and I made it impossible and my version is yes I acknowledge she tried but like she SUCKED ASS at the end lol so idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The new chapter of unexpected made me cry. I recently lost my dad and ever since the pandemic happened and it was lifted, we had been spending quality time and bonding even though both of us were busy with work.

I also subscribed to streaming platforms because he loves movies and series a lot even though I myself were not interested to those things. We had plans and he was so excited to finally enjoy life after all the hardships he had gone through his life, growing up with shitty parents and abandoning him after destroying his future. He died when all his life he had been to the hospital only twice because he was so healthy. He died to a simple disease that seems to be cured easily to others except him. As if he was already marked to die.

Anyway, sorry about that, the way Harlan and reader watched shitty shows and just sitting there chilling, reminds me of weekends together. My dad is also my source of gossip in the media and the neighborhood lmao And just like Harlan he’s quiet and understanding towards my mom.

Reader is so lucky to have Lloyd’s parents.

I'm sending my best vibes to you. I'm sorry for your loss. I know it can't get easier or better but I'm happy you got that time to bond with your dad and those memories. I hope you're as okay as you can be.

I also hope the chapter wasn't too intense for you. 💗💗💗💗 Take care of yourself, be patient with yourself, and stay safe.

[a9saga]

i have been greedy in this pandemic. i must confess. i am ashamed.

it hasn’t been toilet paper. or any necessity, or common food. i’ve been clearin entire shelves worth of marmalade.

i have a problem with the stuff. i’ve turned to that citrus jammy goodness to cope with stress before. my friends and family tried to intervene after the 2016 election. the stress of both life and world events got to me. i skipped the toast. i started eatin the stuff on its own with a spoon.

i cut down on marmalade consumption during the airing of ABC’s Boy Band in summer 2017. watching that show was a new way of cheering myself up. thursday at 6 o’clock i’d be watching the news, hearing about robert mueller’s investigation. i’d be so stressed out, spoon busy, marmalade trickling down my chin. my family members would sometimes get so sick seeing me eat the stuff they’d leave the room. “you’re disgusting, kaily,” my mother would say to me. “you gotta push through. this isn’t solving any problems... and wipe your fucking face.”

then 7 o’clock would hit. ABC’s Boy Band comes on. a smile creeps onto my sticky, starry-eyed face. and i’d do something significant without even meaning to -- i’d put the marmalade jar back on the coffee table.

my mother returned hearing me sob. she was surprised to find it was out of joy, and she smiled. and again, before i’d realize it, she did something i didn’t notice. she picked up the jar of marmalade and she put it back in the fridge. i didn’t pick up on it until the Two Hour Series Premiere had ended.

by the time In Real Life had formed, i was off the jar completely. i didn’t take out my jar of marmalade to watch tv. my face and diet were cleaner than ever. course, i’d indulge in some marmalade on social occasions, but only on toast, every now and then when everybody else was havin some. i didn’t take it too far anymore. i just didn’t need to.

in 2017, though, i suppose there just weren’t as many others coping with their stress over Cute Boys Singing And Dancing. ABC’s Boy Band wasn’t renewed for a second season, and In Real Life was the only boy band the show would spawn. it was okay though. the kind of help i got from that was enough to curb my marmalade habit.

in 2019 came The Masked Singer on Fox. and as i felt myself dealing with more stress going back to school and also because bloomberg was running for president, during the airing of its second season i turned to The Masked Singer on Fox to fill the kind of void that ABC’s Boy Band did. it was a healthy coping mechanism. i was pretty disappointed by butterfly and flower going home sooner than i thought they should have, but i still loved the show. i could manage.

but when season three premiered and when one of my Group A Faves, the Robot was announced to be the first unmasked, i thought that was some Unwarranted Bullshit considering that White Tiger did an unlikeable rendition of Ice Ice Baby, the quintessential Bad 90s White Boy Rap Song Where the Sample Does The Only Job of Making it Slightly Enjoyable at Some Points. when nick cannon announced that the Robot was going home, i felt some kind of tear in my security... i didn’t want the season to go on like this.

what made it worse was the reveal tho. i thought to myself, without too heavily considering the clues, that that voice sounded like *** ***** on his song “*** ** ****”. the clues would support it too, but i didn’t think it was really him. not because the panel went in entirely different directions, but because he was just too famous to be on The Masked Singer on Fox. he was hotter shit than anyone in seasons 1 and 2. and yet when the Robot mask came off, and i saw the face of *** ***** instead of ***** ********** or ****** ********* or fuckin **** *** *** ******* ***, i at first did not even process that i was correct. i thought, “that isn’t *** ***** is it?” because i was so astounded and disappointed to think it was. put that mask back on! he’s too famous!

turns out *** ***** going home first episode served as a metaphor first episode has served as an apt metaphor for how the rest of the season has rolled out so far. extremely mixed at best. two legends like ***** **** and ****** ******* going home before the Super Nine while White Tiger rides in there with shitty performances that maybe the live crowd has fun to but just look like absolute ass by the time it premieres to the viewers at home.

when White Tiger made it to the Super Nine, i must confess. i wanted to snuff it.... i started bringing a jar of marmalade to watch tv with again.

now enter THE QUARANTINE.

i can’t believe how low i’ve sunk. it isn’t just about my favorite tv show The Masked Singer on Fox anymore. the isolation has been bad on me. my last trips to the grocery store, i’ve wiped the shelves clean of marmalade. all marmalade, any brand i could find. my cart was overflowing. i got looks. some of pity, some of disgust.

i’m going through three jars a day, minimum. i’ve got probably about 60 jars in the pantry, at least five open in the fridge. i try to keep a jar of marmalade at any corner of the fridge where my eyes might just wander. i used to keep one in the fridge but sometimes it’d hide in plain sight.

i miss my friends. i’m worried about school and my family and the effects of total isolation on this capitalist economy. i’m scared of picking up the virus and giving it to someone else. i’m even more scared of running out of marmalade.

i don’t even use a spoon anymore. i drink it. i put my lips on the glass rim and let the chunky jam slide right in. i might dig my fingers in when the jar’s running low.

all of my shirts have orangey-yellow tinted stains on them. it’s not grease. i know what it is.

if you’ll excuse me, i’ve got to clean my sticky keyboard now.

[roast-ifs]

Hi there!

I hope you're doing as well as you can in these trying times. I absolutely love When It Hungers and I know in your last update you mentioned you didn't know when the next update would be as you have a lot of stuff going on IRL, but I was just wondering, are you still working on this at least?

I'm loving it and can't wait for it to come out! :)

Hi!!

Thank you, I hope you (and everyone here) are doing well too :)

It has been about a year since the last update and needless to say, I have desperately needed the break.

Short answer, yes! I am still working on WiH!

I've outsourced the game's UI design in twine to help with getting the launch ready, in terms of writing itself I haven't done much at all. That's largely because during 2020 I treated WiH like a full-time job.

I was writing 8-10 hours 5-6 days a week and could because my job was work at home during pandemic lock-down and I could write off writing WiH as working.

Then my job started up again in 2021 and I tried to keep the same stride I had before and burned myself out quick lol.

BUT I'll have everyone know I have finally finished the entire outline of the story. That might not sound like much to everyone but for me it's huge because it will allow me to write confidently through each scene, knowing where it's leading.

I plan to go slower this second go round at the game, to give myself time to appreciate the story as I'm writing it instead of mad-dashing all over the place. I've re-read several scenes and don't even remember writing them it was that bad during 2020 :'D

So, when the game does start having updates again, they will be smaller and slower for my own health and reasoning. I'm going to start writing with purpose in April (the same month I started writing WiH in 2020!) and see how it goes before making any promises about when the game will have it's official twine launch. I'd like to get most of the re-write done before doing any kind of public update though.

Thank you! Stay safe and healthy everyone <3

[effielumiere]

The Companion 2

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Drama, Comedy (hopefully lol)

Summary: A year after all their world tour was cancelled with the announcement of the pandemic, Jimin goes through a roller coaster of emotions and he can barely his emotions and he's trying so hard to stay happy. One night when they had a little too much to drink,Namjoon and Jin suggested to get a puppy, but Joon thought a human companion sounded funny to his drunken brain, not knowing that Jimin took his word seriously. When he finally finds the one who's going to be his human emotion companion, he wonders if she's up for it? And most importantly, he wonders how things would play out with him being Park Jimin and her being... well, a fan... an ARMY to be precise.

Warning(s): None. Sentences in italics are Korean words translated to English. UNEDITED!

Word count: 3.1k

A/N: Here's the 2nd chapter! I might update this every week or twice a week if inspiration and motivation keeps hitting me like this. Thank you for showing this little attempt of mine lots of love❤️ Please don't forget to comment on the replies what you think of this chapter, like, reblog and share this story! Submit your questions, etc, and follow me if you want story progression updates<3 Thank you Thank you thank youuu❤️ Y'all had fun with (mostly) Namjoon and Jimin, and a glimpse of the other members in chapter one... I wonder who's here today.. in person that is xD Enjoy! {I changed the story summary here! Also, I hope you're ready for the Christmas special}

< one | masterlist | twopointfive >

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I woke up early in the morning and decided to explore a bit before heading out with Jimin later to the grocery as he insisted the night before. Wearing a pair of gray joggers, a black hoodie over my gray sweater, running shoes and face mask on, I stretch up a bit before leaving the apartment complex. Stepping out of the building, I look around to see very few people wearing almost the same outfit as I am jogging, cycling and others walking with their heads down or forward. Putting my earphones on I play my daily mix as I jog around the compound. I was given brief details on the area a few days before my flight, they assured me that the area was safe to walk around in especially at night since it was heavily secured and private because a lot of famous personalities lived here. The apartment was under Jimin's name, he bought if for personal purposes before 'the idea' came along and he ultimately decided to put me here along a few of his prized possessions in an unlocked room that I presume is his office that I kept telling Joon to lock up.

"He trusts you." Namjoon tells me during one of our video calls a few days before the flight, I found it ridiculous that 'my boss' trusted me when he didn't even know who I was even on a personal level.

"I find that hard to believe, I don't know which member it is. That's because you told me yourself that he doesn't want me to know yet. How's that for trust?"

"Give him a little bit of time, Y/n" he reassures me "Trust that he'll let you know soon, but give him time. Yes, it's the first time either of you are doing this but you have to understand how it is from our perspective. You know us, but even though we don't know you he's crossing that line, so you could do the same thing too hopefully. Call it a leap of faith."

"I won't make any promises, Namjoon." I sigh "I still don't think you should put me in his apartment complex, that looks like a house, when you could just put me in a studio apartment. I'm alright as long as I have a bed, table and chair, a fridge, stove top and a bathroom. All of those things could fit in a little studio."

"You're staying there for two years Y/n" he says "Two years. He wants you to be as comfortable as possible, and knowing him, he's not gonna put someone like you in a shabby apartment. You deserve comfort and security. Just say thank you when you see him and if you're not comfortable yet, just trust him." he smiles.

Namjoon decided to hold off who 'my boss' was as he worded it yesterday. It was Jimin's decision to show up yesterday but he didn't talk as much as I had expected him to, though he was playful during the text messages, a part of me was still holding back waiting for the bomb to drop. I was waiting for the moment when I'm gonna wake up, it still felt like a dream I was waiting from somebody to wake me up and tell me to face reality. I stop jogging to catch my breath, I'm not entirely athletic but jogging was better that walking around with my eyes widening at everything I'd see, looking like a tourist when I'm going to be living here for the next two years. I look around noticing that people have mildly increased and took off again only this time I headed the other way, further from the compound. I was near the condominums when I thought I heard someone call my name, making me stop in my tracks and I turned to see a figure head towards me, hair bouncing, mask on, in full jogging outfit and an adorable Doberman puppy walking next to him.

"Y/n-ssi!" he yells again he reaches me, he wraps his arms around me in a big warm hug and I return it to him.

"Jungkook!" I squeal, during video calls I had with Joon before I left home, Jungkook would drop by every once in a while to say hi and eventually when Joon excused himself to use the restroom he jokingly told Jungkook to sit in his seat and keep me company, which he successfully did more than once (sometimes with Taehyung popping in) to a point he almost had me convinced that he was my boss, but he didn't look like he needed much emotional companionship since he was very talkative for an introvert and kept mentioning a puppy he recently got.

"It's nice to finally meet you!" he says happily, he told me that he was taking lessons on how to be more fluent in English his only problem was the only person he'd talk to was Joon but now, he had someone to practice on and in return, he was teaching me a few words, and even though I took classes Jungkook was a better and more patient teacher than the tutor I had "How's your stay going?"

"It's starting off pretty good, I arrived yesterday" his eyes widen, if that was even possible "Yesterday?! I thought you arrived a few days ago?" He cocks his head to the side, a look in his eyes of disapproval "Aiish, hyung won't be happy to hear that" he says in a low voice.

"If you're talking about Joonie and Jimin, they weren't happy about it." His eyebrows furrow as I mention names "I met them yesterday, they dropped by with the contract, keys, phone and laptop."

"Wait" He touches me arm "Did you just say you met Jimin-hyung?"

"Yeah, why?" I nod

"Really?! Are you serious?!" he exclaims "He said he wasn't ready to meet you yet. Wait. Were you the one texting him last night?"

"Mhmm. Around 11pm... yeah. "

"Ahhh~" he chuckles "I see. And the selfie Namjoon-hyung took, he sent to you?" I nod again "I see..."

I was about to ask him if he knew that Jimin and I were going to the grocery later but held back when I felt a wet nose, followed by a lick touch my fingers making me look down at the forgotten Doberman between Jungkook and I.

"Hello" I cooed and got down to his level, patting his head and ears "You must be Bam!" Bam stared at me, sniffing my hoodie.

"Bam, sit down." Jungkook commands him as we both squat next to Bam who was sitting "Good job!" Jungkook coos at him giving him treat for following the command "This was not the puppy you showed me that you and Tae were carrying in your arms. He's gotten so big."

"He's going to training school soon" I gape at the puppy "Woah, that's amazing. I can't imagine him being more well behaved, he already looks trained to me."

"He just needs a bit of polishing with the commands. You'll see." he playfully winks at me and we both stand "Let's go, I'll walk you back to the building." I nod as I follow JK and Bam to continue to my original route before I saw them. Looking at how JK stared at Bam in adoration and happiness, I realized that was my role, to be a Bam to Jimin.

We arrive to the entrance of my building when Jungkook tells me that I might need to call Jimin if we were going to the grocery because he received a text before we bumped into each other that they were needed at the office that they're just waiting for a call from their manager.

"I left something for you with the receptionist when she told me you went out for a run" He says "Jin-hyung and Suga-hyung were uhh... concerned that you're not eating right because of Jiminie."

"I'm okay, he ordered food yesterday."

"Hey, don't let the hyungs know that when you meet them." I was about to ask him what he meant by that when his phone started ringing and we eventually said our goodbyes, JK and Bam left as soon as I enter the building.

Walking up to the receptionist and asking her if there was a package left for me, she quickly hands me a paperbag that had some weight to it and I walked back to safe walls of the apartment, putting the paperbag on the counter of the kitchen before I run to my en suite and shower a fast as I could to be able to eat breakfast which was soup and two tupperwares of marinated pork belly that came from the magical paperbag. There were a weeks worth of uncooked samgyeopsal in the big tuppie and had a post it with something written on it and when I checked the translator sure enough, it was left to here on purpose. It read: "To y/n-ssi, I hope Jiminie already filled up the pantry. If not, tell Namjoon to tell us and we'll bring you food. -Jin"

Right below it was another container filled with what looked like soup, it also had a note that read: "Y/n-ssi, please tell us if you have food or not. If Jiminie kept saying he was going to the grocery but we think he might wait for you. -Yoongi"

So that's what Jungkook meant by not telling the other guys that yesterday's meals were take out. He'd be in trouble. Opening the container of soup I pour it into a bowl and took out a pan to start frying the pork belly, and be finally able to eat.

By the time I received a text from Jimin saying he was downstairs at the lobby, I was walking around the place writing down the things I needed into my phone's notes and in the process found that all the pantry consisted were ramen. As soon as I went to the lobby I found Joon, Tae and Jungkook in a corner looking at their phones while Jimin stared at the elevator, eyes landing on me when the doors open. His eyes turn into tiny slits showing me that he was smiling underneath his mask and once the elevator announces my arrival the other three boys turn to look and Taehyung walks up to me and wraps me in a big hug, swaying me side to side before letting me go.

"Finally~!" Tae exclaims happily like a parent that found their runaway kid "I tagged along because Jungkook told me saw you today morning and that Jimin is feeding you take-out"

"Hey! I told you to keep it to yourself didn't I?" Jungkook pouts, playfully hitting Tae in the arm

"Wait," Namjoon interrupts "He fed you take-out?" He looks between Jimin and I with his eyebrows raised.

"That's the reason we're going out" Jimin trails off, rubbing the back of his neck "Grocery..." he says quietly

"Hey! I told you to do it the same day Jungkook and Taehyung went!" Namjoon tells him

"He fell asleep, we tried waking him up but he kept saying five more minutes. So we left him." Tae explains

"He didn't tell us that he didn't buy food for Y/n yet, we could've grabbed a few things if we knew." the youngest male adds looking at his feet avoiding Joon's glare.

"You're lucky it's me who joined you three and not Jin hyung ."

"Saranghae, hyung." Jimin says doing a finger heart at him, making the us chuckle. "You better." Joon points out as we make our way to the three cars parked in the valet one that I recognised seeing on In The Soop last year. Jimin opens the door to the passesnger's seat for me, closing it before getting in the driver's seat next to me taking off his mask before fastening his seat belt. and Namjoon on the seat behind us removing his mask too, mirroring Jimin's actions, and Taehyung and JK were in their own cars following us as we leave the valet. I looked at the scenery as soon as we left the compound. The trees didn't have much leaves on them, spring had just started a few weeks ago though the ground was still a bit muddy from what winter had left behind, a few trees - namely cherry blossom trees - had started growing little flower buds, waiting for the right moment to bloom but for now, they're going to drink up the melted snow puddles and wait for the right timing.

"Did you bring a list of things you needed?" Jimin asked as he reversed the car into the parking space he found, one hand on the wheel and the other on my seat near my left shoulder as he turned his upper body to look behind Joon to see if he's got it right. I nodded and for a quick second my heart stopped beating when his finger tips brushed my shoulders briefly before holding on seat, and as I turned to look at him my lungs stopped functioning. At one point while I saw sightseeing Jimin took off the beanie he was wearing under the black hoodie he has on, his damp platinum blonde hair was pushed back exposing his forehead, revealing an undercut and strands of purple... pink and green...?, with matching eye glasses.

"What the unicorn is that?!" I quip as I stare at his hair in shock, gasping loudly and jaw dropping in the process.

"Hmm?" "Are you okay?" Joon hums as Jimin asks me when he pulls on the hand break, his eyes search my face for any clues to what made me react the way I did.

"You look like a rainbow unicorn." I gape, eyes wide as saucers and mouth creating a little o as Joon laughs like a hyena in the backseat. Jimin chuckles looking away from me, cheeks and ears showing the slightest tinge of pink with his dimple making an appearance, "Is that a good thing?" he asks me smiling, I nod frantically grinning like an idiot as he hides his hair underneath his beanie and wears his masks again. It was the first time I got a good look of Jimin since we met yesterday and for the first time I had three thoughts running around my head as the four of us got out of our cars and entered the big grocery store. One, will I survive this job being his emotional companion? Two, how will I ever survive being alone with him when he looks that good. And lastly, three, why did I think that I could do this?! He's Park Jimin and I'm a mess. I slipped up earlier, my inner fangirl couldn't take it. I just hope it didn't weird him out. I was in the feminine products section when Joon walked up to me a box of dark pink dye in his hand, grinning. Jimin was grabbing stuff after I told him that I wasn't a picky eater, JK and Tae on tow telling him what I could cook if he grabbed and combined certain items. And Joon not being a cook ended up with me. "You did great in the car earlier by the way?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, smelling a bottle of shampoo "My fan girl moment? I fucked up, Joon. Day one and I fucked up already. Excuse my language."

"Don't to be excused, cursing is normal. Also, you didn't fuck up." He looks at me intently "If there's one thing you should remember it's that Jimin loves five things. His family, the members of BTS, the ARMYs, performing on stage and receiving attention and compliments from people closest to him. You're considered someone who is close to him with what you're here for."

"No, I'm not Joon. If labels were a thing, I'm labeled 'staff'." He was about to make a comeback when the three musketeers round the corner of the aisle with JK pushing the cart full of food, Tae adding a few snacks and Jimin breathlessly says "I think we got everything."

"Why do I always get interrupted before I win a conversation with you?" he mutters playfully looking at me, I smile "I win again."

"That better be food she can cook, Jiminah. She can't live on ramyeon forever even though it tastes good." Namjoon tells him

"We got meat and fish and eggs.. and vegetables." Jungkook explains as he points at the items on the cart adorably like a toddler.

"And snacks." Taehyung raises his thumbs at me and Jimin nods frantically.

"These kids." Joon shakes his head "Hey, at least Jin and Yoongi won't be mad at the fact that it's just ramyeon."

"Y/n, I bet sixty percent of this cart is ramyeon."

"They won't..." "Oh but I'm betting on it, if I lose I'm dying my hair neon green, how about that? If I win, I finally gain a point and bragging rights." "You're on." "Get ready to lose, little sister."

Once I got back to the apartment after I had dinner with they boys, they helped me carry eveything and unpack the grocery and turns out Joon was right. Sixty percent of the purchased items were ramyeon which made Joon dramatically yell "Yes, a point for Namjoonieeeeee~" making the other guys laugh and me playfully pouting as I arranged the ramen on the pantry. Tae, Joon and JK left after everything was done, once they were gone. Jimin pulled out the brown paperbag from the pantry, turning it upside down spilling a few packages of-you guessed it - ramyeon on the counter top, grabbing a pot and placing it over the stove. While we were putting away the grocery earlier he hid the paperbag in the pantry and whispering "Later, when they leave" before walking away from me. Watching him measure the right amount of water to pour into the pot, I walk to the fridge grabbing the remaining raw pork belly I had before they arrived earlier and placed it on the counter as I looked for a pot under the counter to start frying. And when were done eating peacefully, having a small talk and a cup of coffee, Jimin left the apartment complex telling me to lock up after him and wondering when I'd see him again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[ticketstomydaydreams]

HOME

(All We Have: Part One)

Part Two

Colson x Female Reader

Summary: You and Colson are close friends and he invites you to move in to his house while you work on his record together

Word count: 1,580

Feels: Friendship Fluff for now

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, cursing, mentions of feeling depressed

Companion playlist:

Machine Gun Kelly - Home

Sia - Dressed in Black 

The Beatles - With a Little Help from My Friends

A/N: Throughout the series there will be changes to the timing of real life events like the pandemic, the release of certain songs etc. There's certain things I want to incorporate into the series, like particular events in MGKs life and lyrics from songs, so some stuff will get moved around to fit in to the story ✌️

______

It had been a long evening working in Colson’s home studio, The Boulevard, with him and the gang on the upcoming Tickets to my Downfall album. To say your schedule was busy was an understatement, but Colson had insisted you get involved with the new material after the success of your work together on Hotel Diablo.

Composing music was your main gig, you had an ear for melody and your passion for writing meant you always had lyrics swirling around your head. You had a penchant for dark and melancholy lyrics, finding music to be a source of therapy for you. It was something you and Colson had instantly bonded over. He'd bugged you to list some of the stuff you'd written that he'd know and you had gained his professional respect immediately.

He always kept a close eye on your work, ever the supportive friend and had laid claim to your piece ‘Glass House’ as soon as he'd heard it.

______

2019

You were sitting crossed legged on the sofa in your lounge, gently strumming your guitar and gazing off into space and mumbling to yourself, as you worked out some lyrics in your head. Colson was lying on the floor by your feet, scrolling through his phone with earphones in, a blunt in his hand that he occasionally passed up to you. This was a common set up, you found it easier to write in the peace and quiet and Colson has gradually started hanging out at your place more when he needed to focus on his own writing.

"All alone in the glass house, lie awake til the sun's out, pink sky when you come down…"

"Throw me in the damn flames, Bury me in gold chains, throw me in the damn flames…"

You'd started singing out loud, occasionally stopping to scribble down lyrics and make adjustments, not noticing that Colson had removed his earbuds to listen to you

" Dude, that's hard, like, beautiful… " His comment made you jump slightly, you hadn't seen him propping himself up on his elbows, watching you intently "Sing that last bit again"

You blushed slightly, his opinion was always important to you, and started singing. He muttered to himself as you did, then pointed at you "Again!"

Letting out a little laugh and rolling your eyes, you sang again

"Throw me in the damn flames, bury me in gold chains, throw me in the damn flames"

Colson's voice met yours at the end of the line, rapping softly "I'm waiting on the rain to come and wash it all away"

You locked eyes, smiling and he sat upright. "Dude, Im'a need that hook! That spoke to me right there, I've think got something for it that I've been stuck on"

He looked so excited, your heart did a little flip. You'd seen that writing this album had taken it out of him, he'd been digging deep and really going through it emotionally. You could tell it was going to be raw and special from what you'd heard already.

He sat forward and moved the guitar from your lap so he could lean his arms on your knees and looked up at you shooting you puppy dog eyes with those baby blues "Pretty please Y/N"

You laughed and ruffled his hair, "Anything for you Col" Honestly, it'd be an honour to be part of such a personal project, you thought

He wrapped his arms round you and squeezed,

"You're a legend, kid. Get a sample recorded and send it to me!" He grabbed your guitar off the sofa and whipped back around, strumming a few chords as he carried on talking with his back to you, leaning against the sofa "This is gonna be fire, you always just hit the nail on the head, I swear it's like you're in my head sometimes"

You smiled, seeing the wave of motivation that had struck your friend. You felt so lucky to have a friend who was not only so inspiring, but one who 'got it', who understood that music was a form of release. Someone who recognised that it was important to feel these things, rather than encourage you to push dark thoughts away with toxic positivity.

He’d pushed to use your original samples on his record, but as much as you loved writing and singing, you were a behind the scenes kind of gal which had always suited you just fine. Naomi, a mutual friend of you both, came onboard to record them with him. A decision that turned out to be golden… 'Death in my Pocket' would be born not long after, with Naomi doing your lyrics such beautiful justice yet again, perfectly pairing with Colson's emotional rapping.

______

From then on Colson had kept you close to his recording. You'd been helping here and there with composition and notation, but your production skills were what was taking centre stage during the most recent sessions. You had a long list of projects you were working through, leaving you chained to your equipment most days and nights anyway so throwing more music into your workload didn't seem like much of a big deal. In all honesty, the chaos of Colson’s studio and the revolving door of personalities that were in and out constantly, made it one of the most fun places to be. You loved what you did for a living and it never really felt like work Even though the guys were a real handful at times, you kind of enjoyed being the studio 'Mami' as they often affectionately referred to you

Everything had wrapped up for the evening and the guys had migrated back into the house. You could hear from the raucous that the drinks must have started flowing freely. You were saving your work and packing up your stuff when Colson bursts back into the studio and throws himself in a chair, spinning it around with his arms in the air.

"You staying for drinks Y/N?" he grins at you, clearly hyper and in party mode

You let out a big sigh "Urgh, I'd love to but I have an early start tomorrow. I finally managed to get an apartment viewing. I swear I've looked at a hundred places now, they get snapped up so quickly.. I've only got a few weeks left on my lease as well"

“Ah, that sucks kid” Colson empathises, spinning his chair again before an idea strikes him “Wait! Why don’t you move in here for a bit until you find a place? The guest room is pretty much your room anyway, the amount you crash here”

You laugh “This is true, that mattress is so much better than mine! Aw Col, that would honestly be so helpful, the stress of finding a place when I’m this busy is killing me. I don't know… You sure the guys won’t mind?”

Colson scoffs “Why would they mind? You practically live here anyway” he teases “I’m sure they’ll be just as stoked as I am at the thought of you joining the madhouse for a while”

Before you have a chance to respond, he stands up and throws his arms around you, squashing you into him tightly “That’s it decided Roomie. Another song in the bag and a new housemate, plenty to celebrate tonight!”

Wriggling out of his tight grasp, you laugh and in a deep voice shout “let’s goooooo” mocking his signature catchphrase. He flips you his middle finger and says “Kitchen, now”

Once you’re in the kitchen, Colson heads to get you a drink and grabs one himself. Appearing back at your side, he passes you your beer and then shouts out to the rest of the group,

“YO, meet our latest housemate, Y/N is moving in. LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO”

Everyone in the kitchen lets out a big cheer, clearly pleased as he said they would be. Colson bends down and picks you up, swinging you around in a circle, spilling your drinks all over the both of you as you shout his name in mock annoyance, between giggles.

“I hope you know what you’re letting yourself in for” Rook laughs, clinking his drink against your now empty beer bottle once your feet are back on the floor

“It’ll be good to have another pair of hands around here, looking after you lot” Ashleigh chimes in, laughing and slapping Slim away as he pulls her hood up over her head, covering her eyes

It had been 5 years since you'd made the decision to move to LA, barely knowing a soul. You'd worked several jobs, jumped from place to place, worked your ass off to catch your break in the music business, sometimes feeling like the grind would never get you anywhere.

There had been times where you felt like you couldn't carry on, aching from trying to keep pace. The dream had felt like it was turning into a nightmare, as you tried to make ends meet, feeling so lonely in this enormous city.. but eventually you'd made these amazing friends who made you feel so safe and loved.

Now, there were times you had to pinch yourself just to make sure it was all real.

As you shake off some of the beer that's dripping from your hands, you look around the kitchen. Taking in the crazy, loveable bunch before you, your new housemates, you are filled with gratitude. You finally felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be…

Home.

______

❌❌ Lace up!

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

but I am very interested in knowing what crosses your mind regarding Lauren and her and Camila's new house selling hers. Enlighten this fanatic fandom of theories with yours ... please.//

Since you asked here’s what I think, thanks!

You know how some people think the reason C accepted the PR was so she could have money and pay what was left of her contract. Just like the MoM mv theory suggests. Unlike the mv though, I never saw S as someone on her side, like people are seeing now. So let’s say this is accurate and she’s near the end in those contracts (label and PR). It would only make sense with everything happening to her image.

The news of her selling the LA home alone raised my suspicions about the ending of both contracts. Otherwise why would she leave LA when industry basically is run by over there? Maybe she won’t acquire another place there. If what I think it’s right she’ll be moving back to Miami and will work from there in her own studio/label afterwards.

If we think about C+L being together and the fact that Lauren helped the circus and now is “free”, I mean, this can indicate that Camila’s plans must be similar to L’s, although a little more difficult to reach given how big she got - from the x-factor to Epic biggest asset. I think that if she has the option, instead of renewing with Epic or signing to another major label under Sony, she’ll prefer to walk free.

On a parallel note: now that’s Camila could be going back to Miami indefinitely our baby L is leaving her apartment to get a actual house with a backyard. So being delusional looks like their long term plans are doing just great and who knows, maybe our babies grown up and are ready to move in together.

It all leads back to Miami. Lauren left LA before the pandemic and is doing what she can at home and staying at her aunts in LA when needed. Camila could do same if she’s not tied up with industry bullshit. Both of them signed with small Latin PR companies and leaving the big LA ones. Both with their own seal now. The girls seem to have a plan.

You're welcome, buddy!

And boy ... I loved this theory of yours. The MoM theory is partly mine and partly from other mutuals, but yes. I agree with you with what you said about the diva. He is no longer an ally if he ever was, he is more of a hindrance in Camila's life. And regarding the circus, I continue to support the theory that Shitmila had to organize because it was a long-term contract that Camila's team and the diva's team signed in 2015 from the first collab that the two of them made.

All I hope is that enough time passes for that contract to finally end and I can free Camila once and for all.

I love what you've said about your theories as to why Camila sold her house in LA, that's true too. The big labels are mostly in LA and NY, but there are also in Miami and we know that Milamoon Records is registered in Miami. It makes sense that Camila decides to leave LA to stay to work in Miami even if she is not on her own label. Time will tell.

The point you make about Camila going to another label that is not Epic or related to Sony ... I disagree a little on that point, because yes, it is true that Sony is not a good label, but if Camila's plans are, among others, having a record company, (hypothetically speaking), it would be convenient for her to have Sony as a distributor, but move away from Epic.

The subject of Camila's houses is a bit confusing, but I'm glad they don't have so much drama in getting one. Either together or separately. That's a girl thing. As long as it is in a safe place and that they do not have to offer them to the paparazzi everything would be fine for me. They deserve all the privacy they need to have.

I agree with your last point dear anon, they must have a plan. Lauren's is on and all I wish and hope is that Camila's is too. I am very, very interested in those plans of our beloved butterfly.

Thank you for leaving us your theories and for choosing my blog to do it, dear Anon! Have a nice week and come back whenever you want. ❤🤗😘

[takecareluv]

heyy love! hope ur doing well :) just wanted to kinda rant here because i consider your blog to be an extremely safe space

so im losing all friends :( well, kinda.. ive made a few new ones too.. but these girls ive known them since 3rd grade and we used to be so close and do everything together and then the pandemic happened and i kinda lost touch with them since none of us really had phones yet back then.. but they still stayed in touch and now since everything has gone back to normal they're all still best of friends and im just kinda there.. but the fact that hurts me the most is that its not only that things have gotten awkward because we haven't really spoken but that they don't seem interested in "having me back" and idk im not able to accept these changes like my heart aches everytime i see them together. i don't even really try to approach them either because its awkward and they don't try to include me in things even when im around :(

btw pls feel free to take ur time to reply to this or not reply at all! i understand and just typing it all out helped a little so you're good <3

hi luv! it really makes me so happy that you consider this a safe space. <3

i’m so sorry that you are currently going through all of this. i know how hard it can be to lose some of your closest friends. from my own personal experience i can say your heart is going to hurt for some time and that’s okay, give it the time it needs to heal. i will say though during that time try not focus on them and keep up with everything they’re doing. (i’ve made that mistake of constantly checking ex-bestfriend’s pages & watching their stories, and it only upset myself further). instead i recommend devoting your time to yourself (do a little self care, treat yourself bby! you deserve it!), focus on your hobbies or maybe try out new ones! spend time with your family & nourishing other (or building new) relationships. and soon enough, you’ll realize you forgot all about them. it’s crazy how abruptly it’ll happen too. at least speaking from my own experience, it was like i was hurting day after day, constantly thinking about how it could’ve been or how i could make things different, and then one day i woke up & i didn’t cry! their names didn’t even cross my mind! and i will be honest, i think a bit part of what helped that to happen was closure. (i know so cliche and what everyone says) but bc i was always thinking about how things could’ve been different or what would happen if i messaged them/what i would say/how they would respond, etc. etc. once i finally did just that, they slowly started to fade from my mind. i was able to move on.

i am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. the universe has a plan for us and even with some of the worst things that have happened to us, they have led us to exactly who & where we are today, exactly where we’re meant to be.

a big part of growing up, as hard as it is at the time, is losing old friendships and making new ones. some people aren’t meant to be apart of your life forever. and especially when you growing up itll happen more than you might would like it to. as you grow up, you grow out of some people and that’s okay. it only means your making room for better ones to come! youre growing & changing, and that’s a good thing! i know sometimes it’s easier to stick with people who you’ve known for so long because there’s a sort of comfort in it; but it’s also okay to let go of those relationships if they don’t serve you any longer. and especially if those people aren’t making an effort to even include you, they don’t deserve your time and energy. screw them for not realizing how amazing you are! but trust me when i say eventually you will find those incredible friends that are going to include you in everything because they want you there, & they will treat you how you deserve & you’re going to have so much fun with them! these old friends will soon become a distant memory.

and who knows, maybe some time in the future you’ll reunite with those friends. it’s happened to me before! i had best friend that i had a falling out with when i was thirteen years old. she eventually apologized, and we would occasionally chat but nothing more than that. now six (almost seven) years later she hit me up, we went for coffee and now we’re friends again! i never would have thought we would be friends, let alone hang out again, but yet here we are! life’s always brings us the unexpected like that. and even though we’re friends again now, and i’m so extremely happy we are, i don’t doubt for a second that all those years apart were necessary for us to grow, become who we are today, and allow us to be better friends to each other now that we might not have been able to be earlier.

anyway… ill stop myself before i write a whole essay (might be too late tho). i hope some of that made sense, i’m realizing now i much i rambled, i apologize. but i hope this helps you in any way. i honestly might not have given any actual good advice, but i hope some of it helps you. just know, you are not alone. so many (including me) have gone thru similar experiences. you will get thru this, my dear! i love you.

if you ever want to chat or rant or anything, just know you have a friend right here <3 never hesitate to send an ask or direct message if you’d prefer that. i will always, always answer. all my love <3

[chateautae]

girlll, it is crazyy to date a formula driver. It is both awesome and sometimes it suuuccks! I once drove his GT4 car with him on an empty track, gurrlllll the ADRENALINE levels are ASTRONOMICAL! (watch a race to see 🤯)He also fricking drives at full speed AS IF IT IS NOTHING!! He has a very strict workout schedule and diet. I dunno if you have ever seen a driver workout. They tie a workout gear around his head and pull on it so hard (his trainer is like 85-90kg dude and he pulls on it) He also trains his wrists and forearms to control the wheel better. I think it works better in my favour because AN HOUR LONG FINGERING SESSION without breaking a sweat 🤭🤭🤭 He is a muscle monster (sparing Jungkook aside) = strength kink

HOWEVER, I hate car noises, speeding, and am not really interested in racing at all. I can only tell difference if cars are in different colours. But he loves it all. He becomes a 5-year-old boy when we talk about cars. He was recently sponsored by BMW and drove one of their cars. He was happy like a little boy and seeing him like this makes me so warm and happy. He gets recognised in public and many men tell him that it was their dream as a kid. A few weeks ago, the owner of a coffee shop we went to recognised him and they chatted for half an hour. The man was around his 50s and adored my boyfriend. (He gave us free cheesecake too 😂)

But racing is difficult to make a career out of. He needs a lot of sponsors and it is not really easy to find especially during the pandemic. Also, it is dangerous. Even though his team takes millions of precautions, accidents happen. He didn't have one, thank god.

He also travels a lot too 🙄 Staying apart hasn't affected our relationship YET :( He can't take me with him. So I miss him a lot during race season.

As much as I love fucking him in his race suit, I get crazy anxious when it is his race day. Now that he is negotiating for Formula 1 races, my anxiety is through the roof. I really want him to get the deal, but I also don't :( HOWEVER, I can't be selfish. I love him too much to be selfish with him. I will support him forever.

So yeah, it is so much fun to see him be successful, have steamy sex in his car, but there are many difficulties that we face as a couple :(

OMG THIS IS SO COOL WTF!!! I acc have a street racer!tae fic in the works so THIS IS REALLY FUELLING ME NOW DWOQDJWEIO.

I WAS GONNA SAY THE FINGERING SESSIONS ARE PROBABLY BOMB AF IF HE'S DOING THEM WRIST AND FOREARM EXERCISES!! Going to hint at my man to start putting in the work too 👀 YESSSS THE ADRENALINE IS INSANE my bf recently went to a track with my cousin who owns this fast ass GTI to race against a BMW and HE SAID IT WAS SO COOL.

OH GOD YOU JUST DESCRIBED THE DREAM his stamina must be out of this world (so does my man, it's literally aLWAYS me tapping out) SO I GET YOU THAT WORKS IN OUR FAVOURS DNEONDO. And damn the sex must be steamy for sure idk what it is about guys driving fast and cool cars but I would give anything to fuck in a nice Merc or something DNQWODNOWEI. THINKING ABOUT MID!TAE'S MERCEDES AT THE MOMENT.

THATS ACC SO COOL YOUR MAN'S ALL FAMOUS AND STUFF and I totally get it, my bf is super into cars as well and while I do enjoy the common luxury car myself, I'm not a fan of speeding or racing because I get really scared something may happen :( AWHH MY LOVE i really do understand your anxieties, formula 1 is no joke and you're right, accidents do happen. It would make your man super happy but I see the worries that come with it too. I wish you guys the best of luck with your relationship and really hope your man stays safe out there on the track!! 💓💓💓

[betweentheracks]

Heyo! Not to be too nosy here but you mentioned you're in bad health and recovering, and I just wondered what happened? Also how would it impact your career since, from how you've made it all seem thus far, it's a highly active and demanding job?

Hope you take care and get well! You appear quite strong and not like you'd take whatever has happened just lying down, so here's to you!! 🙏💓

No sweat and no worries here, I dont find this particularly invasive. If anything, I'm flattered you care to ask after me lol. 😁

A few weeks back I met a friend I hadn't seen in some time for lunch. This was against my better sense of caution that I've held firmly to throughout the pandemic, but I would feel regretful and dismissive if I didnt agree to see her while I had the chance. I should've listened my gut and stayed safely at work because this "friend" failed to mention she had tested positive (she knew already by the time of our lunch date, she has since admitted) and had figured since she had no symptoms there was no harm in being in public.

FF only a few days later and I was feeling a little unwell but had put it off as an effect of the winter blast that had just hit where I live. I'd spent half a day out in the cold and snow for a photoshoot only the day before and thought it was probably due to that since I'm susceptible to weather influenced head colds and bronchitis. Fortunately, my job mandates a rigid COVID-19 screening twice a week due to our high profile clientele and as an assurance of health and safety for us all. Mine read back with a positive and with the way I had been feeling I was immediately sent home and the company closed its doors while the building was sterilized and our clients notified.

Thankfully I managed not to infect anyone I work with nor my son. Regrettably, I did infect my best friend since we're horrifically incapable of maintaining personal space and have weak shit immune systems. We both agree it is a wonder we made it this far into plague times without it catching us.

So I went and got looked over and sent on my way with my prescription of potent anti-virals and steroids. I was well prepared to abide the quarantine guidelines and had sent my son to my mother's home for the duration so that he was out of the danger zone. It was fine, I was kinda cool and keen on getting a few days to myself to rest up and all that jazz. But it wasn't meant to last and I found trouble in the form of being unable to remain conscious much at all and would pass out constantly. After a few times of this I gave my brother (he's a doctor and vaccinated) a ring and told him that my fatigue was no joke dude and needed him to come give me a better once over than the one I'd gotten before bc I was sure I was not meant to feel this badly. He found me unconscious in the shower that night, my head battered from crashing to the basin.

After ensuring I wasn't concussed and jokes on what a hard head I have to take such a beating and show no signs of registering it beyond bruising (a joke between us due to him having once accidentally put a golf club into my forehead and fracturing my skull but that's a different story) he told me to call him regularly so that he can review how I feel and the progression of my symptoms and left. By the morning I had already had two more instances of sudden fatigue and collapsing in on myself. I had been posting on my main blog here about how I was doing and due to this I caught the concern of @peekbackstage and upon their suggestion to have my O2 levels tested it was revealed that I was having issues with my blood not circulating oxygen as it should and nearing hypoxia.

Here's the rub. I have a heart condition that is already very dangerous and bleak which limits my heart's capability of delivering blood through my body as it should. Cardiomyopathy or, as it seems better known, congestive heart failure. I've had surgery for it and it has been a while since it caused me any real issues as long as I stick to my routine of care and manage my health, but when COVID-19 infiltrated my body it immediately snagged upon this weak heart of mine and sank its fangs in.

Within a day of being admitted to the hospital I had a grand mal seizure due to the constant fluctuations of oxygen in my blood and the way my body was working double time to supplement for it. And only 2 days after that and when my nervous system had finally quieted down, I went into full cardiac arrest with a heart attack at my young age.

My next weeks were spent connected to machines doing more for me than my own body could. I developed pneumonia in my lungs, acute though it was it was still another complication that my wrecked body had to overcome as it made my already ragged breathing even worse. I was steadily shedding muscle tone and definition due to a lack of mobility and the fact that my body felt like a deadweight I could hardly take command of, and generally very weakened. My heart, the horrible thing, was inflamed and trying too hard by beating too fast, too hard.

FF some more and I was doing fairly well and treatments were showing some improvement. My heart was still being an ugly and gnarled beast in my chest and throwing weird spikes on the monitor that raised alarms. The pneumonia was retreating and I had no further seizures. It was the dawning light of my first signs that I was recovering!

It took a while more and so fucking many tests day in and day out for me get cleared for release. I tested negative for COVID-19 and was ashamed that I actually forgot that that was why I was even in the hospital to begin with, given all that happened. I have to undergo physical therapy and counseling; PT for heart happy exercises as well as to manage to my depleted muscles, counseling bc I was rocked mentally from all the almost dying and the depressive haze of being holed up in the hospital and surrounded by people who, like me, came in with COVID-19 but unlike me did not come out of it.

I'm home now. I had to have a pacemaker implanted and must stay vigilant for any showing that my heart is not performing as it should. I still have some severe inflammation and chest restriction in my airways as well as my blood vessels but nothing too daunting. I also have a full battalion of prescriptions, most for my heart, and a nebulizer to ease any breathing issues. The worst is honestly that I still am very weak and have severely limited reserves of energy.

My job is required to make me take 12 weeks of leave for rest and recuperation. This is very upsetting since I had been requested by name to be an assistant stylist at the Grammys this year which is truly a dream (especially with BTS in the mix 😩😩) and also bc I'm just a workaholic by nature and love my job. When I return I am expected to learn how to properly delegate tasks that do not directly require me to handle and slow down the pacing of my projects. My boss terminated a contract with a client that was nearing the scheduled end of our agreement and was also incredibly problematic to help lighten my workload. It's imperative that I reign in my stress levels or my heart will not last until the next surgery I'll need, so I'm gritting my teeth and letting my job be picked apart to reduce my responsibilities.

My post awaits my return but I will not be returning to full activity for a while after, which means no rifling through the racks for hours alongside the archivists in search of the perfect piece. I'll be welcome to meet with my clients and oversee the glam teams, will still be the command tower for final verdicts on which styles to use. But I will not be running around showrooms nor personally handling matters any competent trainee could be tasked with like I've always done. I will no longer be able to fly out anywhere for destination shoots or fashion shows.

If, after my next surgery, things are better and my heart stable to the point that they are hopeful of things will be reevaluated. While it is difficult beyond measure for me to relinquish the reigns of my career and be restricted in what I can do now, I am very thankful to be alive and upright when that wasn't a certainty just a little while ago. This is such a humbling experience to have survived when my stats kept dropping every day. I've been told to expect that I will never make a full 100% recovery and to expect to stall out around the 70%-90% range, with 70% being the most realistic.

My best friend (the one I gave the plague to) will be moving in with me so that I am never on my own if things go tits up and to assist in wrangling a toddler since I am currently without the energy to do so as my child is, sincerely, a crazy gremlin spawn with limitless battery life. Slowly, my life will regain some normalcy 💖

[bottlecaprabbitgames]

A quick word from the cowboy anon 🤠: I appreciate ya calling out creators who either don't fix their errors or just flat out refuse to acknowledge them.

I read a bit of Lilac's work a while back but I never really keep up with their tumblr or their progress so it's a big surprise to me to see that they're so problematic -- though I suppose I shoulda expected it due to my low expectations of anyone on the internet. The same with Malin -- I was very supportive of them for a while after I read their apology but the other day when ya mentioned the blatant gaslighting that was present in their message I was like, "Oh, you're right, on God." I don't tend to pick up on things all that well so I immediately had to rework my whole mind-set around the ordeal despite my love for the Fallen Hero story.

I think, overall, it really disappoints me how fuckin' insensitive and plain, down right, asshole-ish so many content creators can be -- something I'm gradually starting to pick out in the IF community among others. I think if you're going to create something and distribute it to a community, you should at least listen to their criticisms (unless they're just being downright dickheads that can't tell the sharp end of a pencil from the eraser). If someone tells you something is offensive take it seriously, unless the complaint is completely unreasonable, and don't start fussin'.

What good is it to pitch a hissy fit about something when ya can literally apologize and fix your mistake. No one's going to blame ya if ya just get off your high horse and act like a decent fuckin' human.

Anyways, enough of my chatterin'. Again, thank ya and I hope y'all stay healthy and safe in the pandemic. Y'all the goat.

cowboy anon came back to drop some hot takes on everyone 😳

[klonoadreams]

ok so... you dont have to reply to this and i KNOW that you're not really into persona anymore but i finished reading all 50 chapters of your p4 fic façade the other day and even though it does end halfway into the game, i still loved it very much. the past month has been really shitty for me and it raised my spirits!! by a lot! lowkey thinking about playing danganronpa just so i can read your other fics. your line of thought for creating stories amazes me, and i really wanted you to know that. Would tune in to watch your twitch streams but unfortunately timezones are a thing :;( I hope that you're staying safe and healthy while the pandemic is still going on. lots of love!

Aww shucks!! Just started my stream, so I’m just setting stuff up for the time being, so it’s REALLY great to hear this!

I’ll be trying to make a schedules for my streams since its the ONE thing I can TRY to consistently manage, unlike fic updates due to class.

That said, I am doing okay and I am REALLY happy to receive this in my inbox!

Hope you’re also doing well!! ^^

[dovechim]

hi!! yesterday i read schrödingers-cat and is honestly one of the most honest, heartbreaking and sweet stories i have ever read. i've always loved your writing but this was very personal, so first of all thank you for sharing this story with us. i hope you're doing better now and those difficult times are over, even though the pandemic might have brought more of those. this year has been difficult for everyonr and despite not having trouble with work i have been through some personal stuff (1/2)

and this story was really comforting, especially the last part "but without a doubt that he’s still there, somewhere, in all the great places that you’re going to go". i will definitely read dr. seuss book because we all need some encouraging words sometimes. thank you again for sharing the story and your amazing work! stay safe :) (2/2)

wow, thank you so much! it's been a hot minute since I wrote that fic and I am in a different place for sure, but maybe the struggle is all the same. providing comfort like a warm bowl of chicken soup is all I ever wanted to do through that fic. so thank you and I'm so happy it was able to leave an impact on you. really appreciate your kind words, sending you good thoughts and well wishes :)

[wedreamedlove]

Hello, I hope you're doing okay ❤️ I would like to ask what you believe the MLQC boy's love languages are. Thank you ☺️

i’m doing good, thank you! i hope you and yours are staying safe with the pandemic around the world right now ;w;!

i touched on this in my “the 4 men and their chinese archetypes” post but i’ll see if i can go in more detail here. first, just so everyone’s on the same page, the 5 love languages are:

words of affirmation: expressing affection through spoken affection, praise or appreciation.

acts of service: actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love.

receiving gifts: gifting is symbolic of love and affection.

quality time: expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention.

physical touch: it can range from having sex to holding hands. with this love language, the speaker feels affection through physical touch.

people can have a dominant one or be spread out among many of them. the last time i did one of these tests i had 8/10 points in acts of service, quality time, and physical touch LOL.

ZHOU QILUO

words of affirmation is definitely a biggie. he’s always hyping MC up and calls her his superhero just like how he’s her superhero. he seems to get reassurance from words too because a lot of times when he reveals his weaknesses it’s through a call or asking questions.

ex. [Apricot Forest Date] or [Old Friend Date] about whether people like him for him or his persona.

receiving gifts is another huge one because he’s always bringing back souvenirs from his trips! i still remember that cute call from [Spring Sonata SSR Secret Password Call] where he shoved a teddy into MC’s suitcase, haha.

those two are probably the two main big ones but physical touch isn’t that far behind. it’s just unfortunate that his job keeps him away for long periods of time so that’s why i don’t think it’s as important as the other two. he’s certainly a physical person but hmm just to a normal extent?

again, because of his job, i think acts of service and quality time go further down. these acts and times are perhaps more precious because of how rare they are with his schedule but that’s also why it’s not his love communication.

if he had a SO whose love language were these two, i think a lot of effort would have to go into the relationship to make sure both parties were being fulfilled. his idol job is just so consuming.

BAI QI

he’s an interesting guy because, when push comes to shove, he can deliver monologues of loving words, [Spring Festival Date] anyone!? But his true nature is to be quiet. he’s just content to sit or stand there and watch with heart eyes.

very much an acts of service and physical touch lover. if you think about it acts of service was everything he was doing in high school! beating punks up who threatened MC, carrying her to the infirmary when she collapsed in PE, and dropping his jacket on her when it was raining.

i can’t stress how much he’s all about touch though. in fact, that might be above everything else. he really is like a big doggo who will nuzzle MC at the smallest opportunity (y'all i’m never gonna get over his shaving ASMR and how drunk in love he sounds when his face is caressed).

anyway, he pats MC’s head, holds her around the waist (happens often because of his flying), and iirc they hold hands often. i bet half of the reason he invites MC out on motorcyle rides is so he can have her holding onto him LOL. also, again, [Spring Festival Date] anyone!? he just reached out to grab her hand and kissed the back of it!!

quality time is also pretty big imo. even though he does have a job that takes him away for long periods of time like Kiro he’s willing to forgo sleep to be with MC for even a second longer, ex. [Endless Abyss SSR Beside You Call] where he goes to her place right after work.

all this being said i think that, while words of affirmation isn’t his main one, it’s still present. he’s a bit shy in general about the enormous breadth of his love towards his SO but he’s not shy about expressing his emotions, if that makes sense? so words still feature in his love language!

despite him gifting the gingko bracelet though i don’t think receiving gifts is high at all in his love language. the bracelet is very meaningful between the two of them but it was a one-time thing.

XU MO

another words of affirmation man! the literati gene is super strong in him and his family, haha, and he’s always praising the MC and reassuring her or building up her confidence. a guy who can flirt through poetry is definitely a shoo-in for expressing love through words. not to mention he’s just a wordsmith in general.

i’d say another high one is touch which may be surprising? or maybe not since he comes off as being the most sexually aggressive amongst the men. but yeah he’s always reaching out and stroking MC’s head and he seems to really like hands too and entwining the fingers! his ASMRs have a ton of skinship, like a lot lot (my brain is flashing back to the pottery one and how he explicitly tells you to stop moving or else he can’t guarantee that nothing will happen).

i don’t really see any of the others featuring as high. they’re present but he doesn’t seem to put much emphasis on them, you know? in fact, i think MC gifts him more things than he does her LOL. quality time… both of them are busy and spend time with each other whenever they can, but again there doesn’t seem to be a particular weight associated with these.

LI ZEYAN

quality time oh god SO MUCH QUALITY TIME. li zeyan just letting you breathe the same air as him means he loves you— i’m kidding. but, no, seriously him accompanying MC on all sorts of fanciful things shows just how important he places her. efficient capricorns got no time for anything they don’t care about.

another high one is probably acts of service. the motto with this man is that he rarely says anything nice and doesn’t initiate touch that much, until he’s sure you’re into him, so instead he’ll just do things in the background.

when MC was researching about a show he had his assistant send her all the materials, [Gentle Confrontation SSR Animal Like You]. then when she was staying at that leaky hotel he switched her to a better one and had his assistant pick her up, [Marauder SSR Change Hotel Call].

i don’t think this is super high but receiving gifts is a thing with him. he seems to enjoy gift giving and receiving (even if he scoffs at it half the time). much like kiro, he brings back souvenirs from his trips. and i wonder if making and giving the pudding counts as a gift rather than an act of service.

anyway, i should have given this disclaimer in xu mo’s section too, but just because these two men don’t have high values in the rest of the love language doesn’t mean they don’t like them. it just means it’s not a priority but the average levels for a healthy relationship still apply!

LING XIAO

hmm maybe too early to talk about him? haha, but he did get an ASMR track and he’s been introduced a bit so let’s see… i think he’s a touch and words of affirmation man except his words of affirmation comes off more as ribbing. he’s not shy about manhandling the MC so that’s why i think touch is somewhat important to him.

not as high as the rest but i think quality time is something too. he’s like a wild animal LOL and just the fact that he’s spending any time with you means something. otherwise, you would have been ignored or he wouldn’t even be near you.

he’s also a bit like li zeyan in that he does things in the background or makes you feel like you’re abandoned before he swoops in and helps you (he just wanted to see you panicking first). i don’t know if that counts as an expression of his affection though, since it was mostly done for his own enjoyment LOL. like he definitely reluctantly helps out because he’s bratty like that but hmm…