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#i hope you have the most amazing day week month year everything <33
devitalise · 1 year
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heyy it's been a while <3 so glad to see you thriving in this succession season (winter -> early spring -> succession season)
ty for telling me about the shygirl and rebecca black albums, for about two weeks i only listened to rebecca black it was amazing. i also loved the new gecs album and rosalia ep. other than that i've been into some acoustic indie which ik isn't as much of your thing, but i can't wait to discover more songs from your recs <3
also the bear s2 coming are you ready?? i'm not. bob odenkirk is joining the cast and ppl are saying he's playing carmy's dad in flashback... god this season's gonna wreck me and i can't wait
as usual i wanna hear everything you've been loving, spam me with recs and i hope you've been/and will be doing great <33
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do NOT be alarmed charli anon has checked in! it's been 3 months babe... so much to get into
succession season -> the bear season -> into the spiderverse 2 it's all bangers all the time. i'm not ready for season 2 of the bear but i also can't wait to get my teeth into it!
i'm so glad i've been keeping up with my monthly playlists it makes it so much easier to see when i discovered new music/figure out what i was listening to. what are your fav tracks from let her burn? i love performer. also, you'll be surprised to know i have been giving indie more of a chance but very slowly. counting caroline polachek's desire, i want to turn into you as indie. a guy i work with put me onto lvl1 so i had FVN! on repeat for a couple days
new music wise kali uchis' new album came out! LOVED that project, kali always does it for me and she really didn't disappoint. kelela's album is something i'm still struggling with even though i was anticipating it for so long. as a body of work it's very boring to me but take the songs individually and i love them: contact and closure and sorbet... i see you.
tei shi came out with an EP in march and i think FAMILIAR will absolutely be in my top songs of the year. how to describe tei shi... she's a little pop, a little indie, a bit of r&b, a perfect amalgamation of so many sounds and god the things i would do to see her live. DIE 4 UR LOVE stays one of my fav projects from 2020.
i did listen to miley's endless summer vacation, too. spotify gave me an award for being in the first 10% of listeners of flowers. scary! other than that most of the music i've been listening to hasn't been new at all, but i have been making use of the niche mixes to broaden my horizons. i finished a book that had me listening to country it was neat
i think when we'd last caught up i was about to go paintballing. that was... february. i went on holiday to tunisia! i've been to bottomless brunches, day raves, birthday parties and nights out in other cities and i haven't even figured out what my summer is looking like. work wise has been good, too, i've had a string of great 1-2-1s with my manager and scored really well in my end of year review
life feels very hectic for me right now there's a lot of stuff i want to sort out personally but i'm feeling pretty optimistic about this being a good year for me! hope you and yours are doing well babe! <3
oh ALSO. i will be seeing beyonce in june!! can't wait
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kazbrekkerfast · 11 months
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Thanksgiving is coming tomorrow!
Do you celebrate it? Sometimes gratitude or giving thanks to things may come off as a big and somewhat unpleasant word. It may feel as if you are forced to acknowledge something that you already love, and that kills all the joy in this type of self-care, isn’t it?
That’s why instead of asking myself “what am I most grateful for?” I instead say “what makes me the most happy?” it’s definitely okay to not come up with things that makes you happy at first, it happens to me too! But maybe you can start with something easy…like cats?
So, would you want to make a list (even one thing is enough) of stuff that makes you happy? And you can even explain why if you want to!
—Self-care anon
hello hello !!
I don't celebrate thanksgiving but I love the idea of celebrating the things that make us happy !!
this took a while to think of but here is my list :D
music and art in general:
I have always had a love for music and it has only grown as I've got older and some of my happiest memories are playing in orchestras and bands with people I know and music has always helped me calm down from everything going on in my life and even though it can't do everything, the ability to create art in any capacity is one of the most powerful and amazing things someone can do and I just love it so much
my family and friends:
it's a bit chiché but my friends and family mean the absolute world to me and I love them sm
cats
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need I say anything else
and finally my lovely Tumblr mutuals !!
you guys are the absolute best and I love your posts and you as people and I hope you all have an amazing day, week, month, year and life <33
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sluttymickey · 3 years
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hi! i'm sorry if i'm bothering you, i just wanted to tell you that you're basically one of my fav blogs in this fandom here and i love it so much! even if i don't know you, i genuinely think that you're so cool and amazing and funny, like your tags under your posts make me die every time, i think you're the master of tags at this point. i also get the vibes that you're extremely friendly, kind and genuine, like the embodiment of a little ray of sunshine. 🥰💘
i just wanted you to know that, i hope you're having a wonderful night and i wish you the best! 💙
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fieldofdaisiies · 2 years
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Hiiii could you maybe write an azriel x reader fic where the reader has to choose between azriel and kallias and vivianes son? It's been in my mind the past week but I can't get the storyline properly so can you maybe do it?
Hii, thank you for sending this request. I loved the idea so much so I had to write it immediately. I hope this is what you had in mind and I hope you like it <33 
Azriel x Reader | Decisions
type: angst and fluff warnings: none word count: 2515
*all rights reserved*
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Snow still clung to your coat the moment heavy steps carried you into the warmth of the house. A heaviness had settled into your gut the moment you had decided to leave and do what you had to do. Panic sank icy claws into the back of your neck when you toed off your boots. Yes, you were going to do this. 
You knew that the shiver running down your spine only partly came from the cold outside, still you quickly blew warm air into the palms of your hands. 
There was a faint ache in your temple when you squeezed your eyes shut for a split moment. Your mind was way too full, head spinning and thoughts piecing your brain. Bracing one hand against the doorframe you inhaled deeply, listening for any sounds, hoping and internally praying that you would be alone for just a moment to gather your thoughts. You discarded you coat on the floor and made it vanish with the snap of your fingers. On a second thought you maybe should have kept it as you still felt so terribly cold and…empty. That was probably the hardest decision you ever had to make. 
Just two months ago everything had been so good, so perfect—you had a great partner, a family that loved you and the prospect of one day becoming the High Lady of the Court you had been born into and grown up in. It all maybe had been too good. 
With weary steps you waddled over to the big family living room and let yourself fall onto the couch, a small fire still burning in the fireplace.
"I love you to the moon and back, my beautiful winter rose," was what Neve had whispered against your ear in the dead of night before that one fateful day. Back then you hadn’t known what would happen the following day. Part of you was happy about that, had you know already…you hadn’t spent such an amazing night with your partner. But if you had known you would have been prepared. 
Since quite some years you had been courting the prince of the Winter Court, Neve. You two had met on a beautiful winter day and had fallen for each other in an instant. Or he had fallen for you. For you started as friendship and then slowly became more and more, nevertheless you had loved him so much. He was a good and respectful male, who valued you and your love a lot. He had accepted your flaws and treated you like a queen. And even though you felt like the most terribly person in the whole world for having this thought, you had always felt like something had been missing in your relationship. Yet, you had never been able to tell what exactly it was…
The light in the dimly lit room flickered and momentarily you lifted your gaze, wondering if you had imagined the nearing footsteps. There had been a soft pounding on the floor, but maybe it was just the wind hitting tree branches against the building. 
You shook your head, pulling your knees up to your chest and placed your head back against the couch. Then you inhaled deeply and closed your eyes for a second.
There had been a High Lords meeting two months ago, Kallias, Viviana and Neve had invited you to come with them and obviously you had agree. Everything had been fine, Neve had told you a bit about the other courts, who was who and he had introduced you to some people. Everyone, safe for a few, had been really nice and you had enjoyed yourself a lot. 
And then the moment which would make your whole world tumble and crash neared. A sentry had announced that the Night Court had arrived.  
Like a wave of shadow and endless yet mysterious darkness the two rulers of said court amongst their entourage had emerged in the doorframe. You had been mesmerized from the moment they had arrived, amazed by the large wings of the three males and the beauty and the mystery of the northernmost court.
That had been just seconds before fate took your life into its own hands and decided to change your future forever.
They had come up to you, had greeted Viviana, Kallias and Neve and consequently also you. You had introduced yourself to each one of them and then your eyes had landed on him. Azriel. 
Your gazes had locked and it had felt like some had pulled out the rug from under your feet.  Your throat had constricted and you had found it hard to breath. Every rational thought had vanished from your mind and it left your brain hollow. There was only one word in the endless emptiness: mate.
The Shadowsinger had stopped dead in his tracks, his normally tanned face had turned pale. You had shuddered, the feeling like someone had been pulling on your chest had nearly consumed you and then he had said out loud what both of you had been thinking. "You are my mate…"
They way you had folded your hands over your face, had shaken your head and breathed a ‘no’ while tears had started burning behind your eyes, had hurt Azriel more than you could have ever thought. The level of pain that radiated from him was beyond you and had known that it would have destroyed you if you had stayed just a moment longer in that room.
Without further thought you had run out of Thesan‘s palace and winnowed away. Back home. Back where you were alone with your thoughts. Everything had come crashing in. Tidal waves of guilt and shame had flooded you, nearly drowned you. You had broken down on the ground, sobbing into your knees. You had felt so guilty for reacting so stupidly, for hurting him—for hurting your mate... 
But you had been with Neve whom you thought you loved more than anything in the entire world.  
Said male had followed immediately after you, he had folded you in his arms and had assured you that it would be fine. That you could reject and break the bond. That nothing would come between your love. But…but was that what you wanted deep inside of you?
Of course. But why had the thought of never seeing Azriel again, of not being able to get to know your mate, made your stomach churn and twist and more tears dwell in your eyes.
You felt like shit. Neve’s words should have comforted you. Neve loved you and you you loved him… But some small part in the deepest place of your heart knew that he loved you more than you loved him and finding out that you had a mate just messed everything up even more. Neve was probably one of the best people in the whole world and hurting him would be one of the worst things you could ever do.
In the months that followed…you had been thinking about Azriel none stop. You could feel his heartbeat, feel his pain. Feel how he suffered. He was on your mind always, and you more and more felt like a betraying piece of shit. You had told yourself that it was just the bond and you would reject it and everything would be fine.
Azriel had sent you a letter, apologising for having been so straightforward and that made you feel even worse. At first you had never answered his letter, not knowing what to write. But you had felt Azriel’s pain even stronger, and then something like hope, so you decided to write back to him. Since then you had been exchanging letters, only on friendly basis, of course. Neve had known about it, you would never keep a secret from him, still his slight jealousy and the hurt about your distance did not go unnoticed by you.
You considered yourself to be the worst person in the whole entire world for hurting two males at the same time. But was it your fault? No, definitely not entirely. 
It was all so twisted and difficult. In all honesty you loved what Azriel had written to you, never had you felt such a connection to someone, never had someone understood you in such a way, and never had you had so much in common with someone. You slowly fell in love with his words, with his lines, his letters and…him. Yes, and even though you hated to admit it, that was just how it was. 
But it was wrong and you also knew that. You had Neve. But you also had a mate. But you would not risk what you had with Neve for someone you had met only once. Would you?
You had to do something. You had to make a decision. You know that you would break one person’s heart, hurt that person, but you had to do it. 
You had packed your things, leaving the comfort of your home for a while, and stayed with a friend to clear your mind. You wanted to be one hundred percent sure before you made your decision. You had told both of them that you needed time and that you make your decision soon.
"You are here?"
So your mind hadn’t tricked you. Your heart thrummed against your rib cage. You drew in a deep breath and swallowed thickly. Then you looked over your shoulder.
"I made a decision," you whispered into the darkness. 
"Tell me," the male, hidden in the darkness and the shadows of the room stated. His voice sent a shiver down your spine and you shuddered. But in that moment, the moment your gazes met you knew that you had made the right decision.
"I am sorry," you breathed, bringing one hand up and wiping your thumb over your suddenly wet cheek.
A huffed laugh left the male and he dipped his chin. "I should have known."
"I am so sorry. I wish it would be different. But it is not and I have to listen to my heart."
"It is fine. I understand. Go find him and tell him. He is a lucky guy," he breathed, voice quavering. You wanted to stand up and hug him but it was out of place. It maybe would be appropriate one day, but not then.
“I've never meant to hurt you. You are an amazing person and I know you will find happiness and someone who truly loves you the way you deserve it!" you said, standing up with wobbly legs. You heart sped up, guilt colliding with sadness inside of you.
"Find happiness, Y/N," he said with a sad smile on his lips. With one last look and the wave of your hand you vanished into thin air.
The moment your feet touched the ground a scent —the most amazing scent you have ever smelled— filled your nostrils and you smiled from ear to ear. Yes, it was the right decision!
Spinning around when you once again heard footsteps, you stomped your own feet into the ground. Stopping mere inches in front the tall male, you dipped your chin and parted your lips. "It is you!"
With that the Spymaster wrapped his arms around your body and lifted you off the ground. You could feel his heart beat against your chest, his arms holding you as tightly as possible. It was like he was holding onto his dear life.
"Are you sure?" Azriel breathed.
You placed a kiss to the side of his head and smiled. “Yes! Yes, it is you. I have started falling for you through your letters and you are my mate, I would be a fool to not choose you. But I want to give us time. I want to get to know you better before we accept the bond and give in to the,“ —you bit down on your lip, heat filling your cheeks when the Shadowsinger placed you on the ground— "frenzy."
Azriel chuckled lowly and dipped his head back. His hand rested on your hipbone, his other on your jaw. His thumb traced over your skin, eyes examining your features and then he smiled. You knew it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. His wings tucked in the in the dim room, his eyes were like heated honey. 
"That is fine. All in good time, my mate."
Your own hand came up to his face, fingertips gently caressing his jaw, his cheek, his brow. Colour bloomed high on his cheeks when Azriel hummed lowly. The sound of it made your toes curl and something tightened in your lower belly.
"Why would you choose me?" he questioned, when he guided you both over to the couch and you sat down, him following. Azriel pulled you close to him, you legs lying over his lap. 
"In those past months were we had been exchanging letters I realised that we are two sides of the same coin. It might seem so odd, but I believe the Mother made us mates for that reason. We belong to each other, it is you and I. I have never felt such a connection to someone. The things you wrote, I couldn’t agree more about. That’s when I knew it that it should be you and I. And that until the very last day of our immortal lives.”
A single tear made its way down Azriel’s cheek and he dipped his chin, his lips brushing over your forehead. You lifted your hand and wiped away the tear before. Then you smiled. His smile mirrored yours and you felt your heart swell, your chest warming from the inside out. 
"I am so sorry for hurting you," you whispered, but when Azriel embraced you once again you could feel him shake his head against yours. "You had all right to act like that. I overwhelmed you and I am sorry for that."
You sighed, your fingers brushing through his silken strands when you pulled back.
"I don’t know if you want to know, but before I came here I have of course talked to Ne—"
A scarred finger pressed onto your lips and made you shut up. Azriel smiled cheekily, his cheeks turning a deep red. "I thought so, but I don’t want to hear another male’s name from your lips tonight. It is just you and I for the rest of this night. Alright, my mate?"
Smiling with flushed cheeks, you bowed your head before leaning it against his shoulder. Azriel’s heart was thrumming softly, his fingers traced idle circles onto your back and his scent lured you into sweet oblivion. Gods, you were so exhausted, but it had an end now. Now was the start of something new and something so good.
"I am honoured to be your mate, Azriel," you said and let your eyelids flutter shut.
A kiss was placed to the crown of your head. "And I feel more than proud to call you my mate, Y/N."
tags: @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae
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bonnymori · 3 years
Text
𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲
Word count: 2760+ (i'll try to keep bigger lengths such as this one!)
Synopsis: You meet a new classmate who's working along Nanami, you think he's fun to be around, it stands the same to him about you. Later, feelings unravel.
Contents/Warnings: (1) Itadori Yuuji x gn!reader (2) FLUFF, TONS OF FLUFF - and some comfort (3) With the small participation of... Ino Takuma!! I really like him too, that's why <33333 (4) This is pretty platonic, but also not? (5) Ending turned sorta cliché... but I liked it u.u
A/N: This boy made me run rampant... to fhe point it's not single attraction anymore I just wish him happiness (smh if only my parents knew...) also next post will be Toji's fic pt. 2! Y'all see the first part is almost reaching 100 kudos????? I'M SO HAPPY EHSODJWKDKSJD- thanks for all the new followers and the support!! <33
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Ever since his fake death, Itadori has been training alone with the help of Gojo - and now, he works along a freshly new face, who belongs to a senior, founds out ex-salaryman named Nanami Kento. He's far a thousand times more strict than Gojo. Itadori doesn't really likes the change, because Nanami is a person he can't get along. This whole guy's appearance scream "work 4 life"; he has proved different, now he screams "work is shit - but I gotta do it because others won't".
They've just finished cleansing the outside of a movie theater off a few curses, when Itadori hears shouting from far behind them. Two figures approach, waving excessively. He quickly picks on Nanami's tired sigh beside him.
"Nanami! We figured out you'd be here! Our mission has been finished and we wanted to catch up to have lunch together!" A male clad in a full black outfit shouts, he has brown hair and a beanie on top of his head, looking quite content.
The other person simply trots next to him in silence, approaching with a friendly smile. They notice Itadori faster than the male, smile widening and quickly waving hello, suddenly eager to reach up to them. The gesture makes the pink haired boy perk up, curious to why the other person looked so joyful. His question is easily answered, when they tug on the man's sleeve and motion to him.
"Ino, we have a third buddy!" The dude looks at him with widened eyes. "So nice to meet you, I'm Y/N L/N! It's great to see new faces around!"
Itadori smiles at your energy, knowing already he would click with you very well.
"I'm Ino Takuma, sorry for not noticing you before! Your uniform looks cool." Itadori exchanges a few compliments with Ino, before the man turns to talk with Nanami, leaving him and you together.
"Yes! I'm Sukuna's vessel, Itadori Yuuji-desu! My type of woman is Jenn-"
You turn to him. "So, are you a first year?"
"Geh? Weren't you dead though?!"
"I was!- I am!- Please keep secret."
"Okay!"
"Ahem." Nanami coughs, drawing attention. "I requested you two to not come after me today. Itadori here is the reason why."
"That's no problem, we're very capable of keeping secrets." You threw your arm over Itadori's shoulder, him nodding along with you.
"Oh really, then remember to keep quiet about it. I'll let this slide." The group of students nervously at Nanami's intimidating tone. "But, I'll get to have my break alone."
"Gah!" Ino exclaimed, watching Nanami walk away; he also left the responsability of taking care of Itadori for you two, leaving without a word. "It really had to be today, when Nanami would take us to his favorite bakery..."
"Crybaby." You teased. "Itadori here can't go outside where anyone can see him, he's dead. So, we were to order food either way because he shouldn't be left out."
"Augh okay, it would be unfair."
"So, where are you staying Itadori?"
"At Gojo's state!"
"Whoa, I've never been there before." Ino commented, waiting as you sent a message to Ijichi to pick them up.
"He's my teacher, a very cool one!"
"I imagine! Ooookay, once we get there I'll get the food."
Itadori felt as his chest would burst of excitement, finally there was people around him again, he couldn't be less happy about it.
"Sharing is caring!"
Itadori laughed as you wrestled with Takuma for some fries, netflix long forgotten in the background, as watching the banter was way more entertaining. Most of the time, Ino rambled a lot about Nanami, while he rambled a lot about Gojo. The guy even showed him the cool scar under his beanie. He felt kinda upset after explaining the exchange was just temporary, his stay under Nanami's wing wasn't decisive, and therefore, he was more like a classmate than a partner.
Itadori also learned a lot about you. He was surprised to find out that you, although energetic, was the one to speak the lesser in conversations. His surprisement grew even bigger when you told him you're a exchange student from Kyoto, arriving Tokyo about the same month as him - thankfully, you were to say for good.
Conversations flowed easily in the air, until a voice from the doorway barged in.
"Yuuji-kun! Don't forget about your lessons! Hi kids! Bye kids!" Gojo said playfully, throwing the familiar punching bear to Itadori before leaving.
"What's this thing?" Ino asked.
"It's to help me control my cursed energy. So while I watch the movies, if I don't charge it with cursed energy it punches me square in the face. I thought I had mastered this thing already, but he insist I keep training with it." Itadori grumbles.
"At least it's cute." You commented, taking a sip of your drink.
"Until it punches you in your face without warning!" The pink haired boy barks.
The talks died down, the three of you eating quietly when another movie is played on the screen. Itadori didn't bother reading the title, it was a plain one about a zombie apocalypse that got him extremely bored, yet he kept watching still so the plushie didn't punch him in the face again; he's been keeping a record since all his last cursed energy training lessons were a sucess to this day. When his head started nodding and eyelids dropping Itadori can't remember well, about fourty five minutes of movie perhaps? Make it fifty, the second slumber took over his body completely.
When he awoke once again, it was near midnight, the clock on the wall told him so. He also noticed a soft and warm surface supporting his head, figures, it's your shoulder he's resting into, he feels an arm around his own shoulders and your cheek placed upon his hair.
"Hey, it's late." You immediately notices he's awake, calling out softly. "You should sleep on your room, or something, better to your spine."
He chuckles when you poke his side. "But I'm comfortable here."
"I'm surprised, you just met me today, and now is sleeping on my shoulder."
"I'm not, that happens often to me."
"Sleeping on people's shoulders?"
"No! Making friends quickly." Itadori likes your gentle warmth, your hug, everything makes him feel at home. "I met two more people before you for two weeks, but they can't see me, because I'm dead."
"So I'll keep you company, that's my new mission."
His eyes widen at that, a oh so little blush covering the tip of his ears.
"For how many time I slept anyway?" He asks.
"About two- no, three hours. You missed two movies, and this one is about to end."
"And you stayed here the whole time?" He motions to your shoulder.
"Yep. That reminds me I gotta pee."
Itadori grumbles, but quickly lifts himself off you, respecting your needs. That gives him some time to look around, he notices Ino is gone, and the plushie sits quietly at the other side of the couch, unmoving.
"Y/N! How did you manage to make it quiet down?" He's beyond bafflet.
"...que."
"What!"
"I said!" You arrive quickly at the doorframe, hands still wet from when you washed them. "I used my innate technique."
"Oh! How is it like?"
"It's kinda funny, gimme a moment." You left to wipe off your hands, coming back in a second. "So, just like Shoko, I produce reverse curse energy, but it's quite different than hers, I can't heal people. That's why we often call it positive energy instead. I can use it to soothe off negative energy, so the bear has no cursed energy right now."
"How does it works on people?" He felt very curious about everything, asking away like a kid.
"Since everyone has negative energy, it just makes you sleepy really. But when it comes to curses it's really practical, I can either weaken it or, if the curse is like grade three or four, I can slap them off existence completely by wiping all their energy." You were naturally proud of having a such versatile power, your own energy swirling with pride around you.
"That sounds amazing! Is it why I fell asleep though?"
"Nah, only if I did it on purpose. I guess you were just tired, hope you don't mind I decided to let you rest today."
"No way, it was a good nap."
You nodded. "By the way, Ino left to attend to a drinking party, he paid for our food."
"Drinking? Is he old?"
"Yeah, he's twenty." You chuckled, already expecting that kind of reaction.
"No way! He looks young just like us!"
"That's totally my reaction after I learned he's twenty!"
After that day, you started visiting Itadori weekly to daily, after exchanging numbers he made a little group with you and Ino, naming it the "Nanami trio". But really, he exchanges more texts with you in private, be them memes, cool images he wish to share, etcetera. Although, Ino wasn't left excluded, he ofter brough his xbox to connect to Itadori's tv room and you all would spend hours playing together; he just didn't spend much time with both of you as much. And that was okay.
For a few days, your connection with Itadori died down when he didn't reply to your texts. They would remain unread for some time, the longest being half a day, until he would spam apologies then move on with the topic. That became a routine until one day when you came over to check on Itadori unnanounced, needin to ease off your worries about the boy, only to find him sobbing in the middle of a hallway, staring ahead and beyond, his back to you.
"Ita-?"
"Egh!" Startled, he scrambled to wipe his eyes, turning to you. "H-hey, um, hi."
"What happened?"
"I- he-" His eyes didn't met yours, knuckles white in a death grip. You notice he has a few bandages thrown over his face and arms. The way his shoulders are drawn, as if he wants to shrink into himself is something you've experienced before.
"Something hard to talk about?"
He nods almost immediately, head still facing down.
"It's alright, come with me." You reach for his hands, grimacing slightly when his forceful grip is now on your hand, yet you don't comment on it. He follows you through the state wordlessly.
You two stop on the same tv room, sitting down on the couch. You then guide his head to your shoulder, gently massaging his scalp with the free hand.
"It's alright."
Those two words are chanted like a prayer for the next half hour, at some point, Itadori twisted his body towards yours and unknowingly caged you between him and the sofa arm. He embraced you with a force you didn't have in you, like he didn't want to lose one another. Painful or not, not a muscle moved on your body. He needed a shoulder to cry on.
Thirty minutes passed like seconds, you peered down only to find the boy confortably napping against your bosom; at some point you just became the cold side of the pillow to him. That's alright. It brings you joy to be the mom friend anyways. So you decided to join the sleepland aswell, arms still secured around his shoulders and the back of his head.
It feels like the nap hasn't been long, though, because you can feel Itadori's grip loosening and therefore, you're awake.
"Sorry if I broke any bones, in advance."
"Wow, and you only warn me now."
He laughs at your comeback, hands still secured around your waist.
"I'm surprised you let me uh, cuddle you for comfort - and sleep. I don't understand it? You just make me sleepy." He rambled, keeping eye contact with you while his head still rests on your chest.
"That's a piece of cake when you have younger siblings who seek for you every night they get a nightmare."
"Does that mean I can come to you again if I have a nightmare?" There it is, his togepi-kirby cutesy face.
"Are you four?"
"That's mean!" Itadori blushed, squeezing you on his arms. "I like the contact. It puts me at ease."
"Mm, do you want to talk about it?"
He gulped. "No, not really."
Your peach haired friend remained silent, and so did you. It seems he doesn't intend in letting you go soon, or he just really forgot to mention it. It gives them time to think, your younger sisted used to do that sometimes, back in Kyoto.
"Y/N, wanna watch anything?"
"Sure, have you watched Parasyte before?"
"No, let's give it a try then!" Itadori glances at the remote, then back at you - making you confused over his hesitation to move. He notices you noticed it, chuckling nervously. "To be honest, I don't wanna let go."
"It's hurting my back."
"SORRY I'M SORRY!" He jumped away from you like a cat would jolt away from a cucumber, making you snicker.
"It's okay, I just wanted to change positions."
And to tease you, but he didn't need to know that part.
He glared at you with a small pout, typing the initials of Parasyte on the search bar. Outside his line of vision, you were grinning like a idiot, his sweeteness took a tow on you. All the people of Tokyo you met really held a way different spirit from your classmates in Kyoto, Itadori being the nicest of all. It's surprising him being Sukuna's vessel to begin with; being honest, you felt drawn by it.
"Y/N, it's startiiiiing." He cut your daydreaming short, slumping on your side and propping his head on your shoulder.
"This again?" You throw an arm around his shoulders, very much like the first time he cuddled himself on you.
"Don't blame me, you're the one who wanted to change positions. Guess I'll just make some alterations since I'm awake this time!" One of his arms went behind your back and circled your waist, hand resting at your hip.
"It's definely different, since the other time you drooled on me."
"Hhgh, okay okay! Let me enjoy this." For perhaps the actual first time, you're able to watch without exchanging words with one another.
And this time, it's you who's head loll to the side, nose buried on his soft rose perfumed hair. Itadori doesn't comment on it yet, his free hand moves under your legs to lift your whole body up efortlessly when he senses you have fallen asleep.
"I remember you said it's bad for my spine, I wouldn't mind it... yours however."
The boy makes a beeline to the guest room, he sighs when there is no choice but open the door with his foot. Inside, he places you carefully in the soft bed.
Before he could leave, a hand reaches up for his sleeve.
"Itadori," He turned, looking at you. "Make me company?"
He giggles softly - you think it sounds like a highschool girl. "You should start calling me by my first name!" Itadori rambles as he climbs on the bed, arms wrapping around your waist in a motion you're familiar with.
"Yuuji, I'm tired, let me sleep."
"But I wanna talk more..." He pouts. "Also, are we, um, dating?"
You wriggle around, bringing his head down to peck on his forehead, teasing. "Correction, I want to date you."
"Uh, oh." A blush coats his face so quickly, you'd say someone dumped a bucket of red paint on his face.
"Is that a no?"
"No!"
"So it is a no."
"Christ, will you stop teasing for a second, I'm trying to talk here." He makes an angry version of his togepi-kirby face, you can't help but grin.
"You amuse me, but okay. I'll do it for you."
"Thanks." He blinks, the blush slowly fading away. "You know, I lied, not about the contact, I like the contact nonetheless-"
His hand moves to play with yours, such as tapping his tips against yours, or meassuring the palms.
"-it's you who brings me comfort."
It's also your turn to blush, that line was seriously charming.
"Yeah."
"Yeah?"
"Yes, we're dating now." You respond, a little eagerly. "Can I kiss you?"
"Please."
This is the best person I could ask for, Itadori thinks, keeping his eyes open as yours shut during the kiss, whom I won't change for anything else in this world.
When you both separate, Itadori feels drowsy and sleepy. His face fits perfectly on your shoulder as always.
"Goodnight, my favorite person."
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theplushmaker · 3 years
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Oki since someone asked for the Silver headcannons I'll post them, there's quite a few so I hope you enjoy!
Please let me know if I should put a warning
• Silver loves to look at the night sky to see the stars since he came from an apocalyptic future where ash and smog covered the sky
• Silver was originally part of Sonic's time but was transported 200 years into the future by Mephiles to insure the (rewritten) events of Sonic 06
• Silver enjoys botany
• Silver was taught English by Mephiles
• Silver knows seconds and days but has trouble when it comes to hours, weeks, months, and years
• Silver at first had trouble understanding how birthdays worked
• Silver was a lot shorter when he first met Sonic due to malnourishment, making him look like a 10-year-old (despite being 14)
• only Silver remembers the events of Sonic 06 due to Mephiles' interference
• Silver had to ask Sonic what certain words meant ex: parents, mom and dad, sister/brother, etc, etc, the first time he asked Sonic what family was, Sonic was, understandably, confused then worried, afterward, Silver had asked Shadow instead only to get the same results (albeit less obvious) so now he only asks if he can't figure it out on his own
• Silver is used to hot temperatures due to the lava and fire in the apocalyptic future
• Silver gained the ability of foresight, albeit weak, (after Sonic 06) and is only able to use it when meditating (this is so that Silver doesn't have to appear JUST because "oh the future's in danger and he has to prevent it" like in the games)
• Silver can not time travel, that was all Mephiles' doing (^)
• Silver has a fear of fire (pyrophobia)
• Silver can not tell when someone is being sarcastic and will take everything someone says literally, Charmy learned this the hard way when he told Silver to "throw the bucket of water at Sonic" Sonic was knocked unconscious with Tails panicking, safe to say Charmy learned his lesson and was later grounded by Espio when he found out
• Silver's first "food" when Mephiles sent him back was ham sandwiches
• when Shadow had to keep an eye on Silver, (along with Rouge and Omega, due to him getting a head injury because Shadow "accidentally" kicked him and Rouge felt it was their mostly his responsibility to take care of him till he recovers) he saw Silver laying on the ground outside, when Shadow walked over Silver looked at him with big eyes saying "it's so small" with the tone of an amazed child, upon closer inspection Shadow found out that he was referring to a caterpillar he found eating a leaf, Rouge was there recording the whole thing
• Silver managed to make Shadow smile when he first saw snow and started acting like a child on his first snow day
• Silver never told anyone about the events of 06 after the "time-line reset" thinking it was best left forgotten (that and he's afraid of what everyone will think should he tell them that he helped a man, who no longer exists, almost end the world)
• Silver sleeps at 12:40 but will wake up at 4:00 IN THE MORNING just because he's still not used to the concept of time, the only reason why everyone knows this is because one-time Sonic let Silver stay the night at his and Tails place, and Tails ended up finishing a project at 4:33 AM the boy walked out of his lab expecting for Sonic and Silver to be asleep, only to get the absolute daylights scared out of him when he finds Silver (trying to but shh!) Reading a book at the kitchen table, Silver fell out of his chair and Sonic came down running (but not without falling off his bed and hitting his head hard) to check on them, after that they told everyone of Silver's "messed up" sleep schedule
• Silver is illiterate but is trying his best to learn how to read without anyone knowing, so far no one suspects a thing
• Silver has quite a bit of pain tolerance given the fact that Knuckles dislocated his shoulder once and Silver didn't even flinch, even after they fixed it by taking him to a doctor
• Silver can not stay in one place for too long, given the fact that he traveled all over the place in the apocalyptic future, it was only a given that the habit never died, of course, Sonic and co can keep him from leaving by simply keeping him busy, this has helped greatly with surprise party's
• Silver's first "language" was just a mix-mash of 40 other languages
• if Silver doesn't use his psychokinesis he can end up building up too much energy for his body to handle, so what happens if he can no longer handle it you may ask? Chaos, absolute chaos, he ends up acting like Charmy on a sauger rush and Sonic when he has coffee, his abilities go haywire and he doesn't even know it, the worse part is, the only reason he did stop using his psychokinesis is because he made a bet with Shadow to see who can go the longest without using their abilities, Rouge, of course, recorded the whole thing, along with Omega, no one has let him live it down since
• the gold bracelet things (what are they even called?) Silver has can store excess energy and it can store a lot, (so combine that with energy build-up)
• Silver has nightmares of when his primary caretakers were killed, (PTSD?) Though sometimes it would be about Blaze, Amy, Sonic, Shadow, or all of them, sometimes it's them getting killed or them leaving him once they remember or find out about the events of 06, which is why he tries his best to act as normal as everyone else, though sometimes it's about Mephiles telling him things, he tries to bury those memories
• Silver didn't know it at the time but he and Mephiles had a father-son relationship before he realized Mephiles was using him, it saddens him knowing that he might never have that type of relationship again
• Silver sometimes reminds Shadow of Maria with how he acts when he sees/ learns something new
• Silver, Shadow and Sonic have a brotherly relationship, Silver being the young oblivious brother, Sonic being the carefree middle brother, and Shadow being the strict older brother
• Silver may act like a child most of the time but if someone gets in his way of survival, he will go stone cold
• Silver's boots are made of metal so they weigh quite a bit, of course, the only reason why everyone knows this is because when Shadow "accidentally" knocked him unconscious, he, along with Rouge, tried to drag him inside only to find out his boots weighed him down and had to be removed, this lead to the discovery that Silver was underweight, (they left his boots outside, covered by a box because they didn't want to bother trying to move them inside)
• Amy and Vanille were the first to find out that Silver had quite the sweet tooth, he likes marshmallows best
• Silver gets vocabulary lessons from Amy while taking cooking and health lessons
• Vanille makes sure that Silver eats whenever she gets the chance, like a worried mother
• Silver's teeth are surprisingly healthy, just not the cleanest... with a little bit of red staining (though people assume that it's because his gums bleed and not because he ate something he shouldn't have) Amy had to teach him how to brush and had to remind him to brush every night until it became a good habit of his, his teeth are also pretty sharp for a hedgehog (I wonder why)
• due to multiple reasons, (take a guess) most of Sonic Co think that Silver didn't have a great upbringing, with most of them assuming that he had strict parents and lived during a famine in a dry/hot area that was prone to violence, which they aren't wrong but they are?
• with Silver's fear of fire, one would think that he and Blaze didn't get along, but the opposite is true, Blaze keeps using fire at a minimum when he's around and if she did use it then she'd give ample warning time and space before she does it, in return Silver stays close to the ground so he doesn't "trigger" her fear of heights
• Silver does not know anything about romance, so when he starts to suddenly feel odd around Blaze, ex: abnormal heart rate, weird feeling in his stomach, warm cheeks, etc, he asks Amy about it, (mostly because she's been teaching him about health) and she gets excited and tells him about love (she's secretly cupid, fight me)
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joshjacksons · 3 years
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Joshua Jackson interview with "Mr Porter" (2021)
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Minutes before Mr Joshua Jackson joins me in a booth for a Friday afternoon drink at a vibey hotel bar in Santa Monica, he’s confronted by his past. Or rather, a woman in her early twenties who is binge-watching Dawson’s Creek, the teen show about a close-knit group of high-school friends coming of age in a sleepy American town, which made Jackson incredibly famous between 1998 and 2003. The series, which also made household names of Ms Michelle Williams and Ms Katie Holmes, went off air 18 years ago, but is now streaming on Netflix, to the bemusement of Jackson, who played lovable rogue Pacey Witter. “This girl was like, ‘Are you...?’ And I’m like, ‘Yes, I am. He got old. I’m sorry to break it to you,’” he says, before ordering an iced tea and a charcuterie board to tide him over until dinner time. “It always surprises me when young people say they’ve just got into Dawson’s Creek. I’m like, ‘Is it a costume drama to you? Do you feel like you’re watching a historical documentary?’”
The idea of a Friends-style reunion episode or a Sex And The City revival feels equally far-fetched to Canadian-born Jackson, now 43 and wearing it well in a pale green linen shirt and tailored linen trousers by Oliver Spencer that complement his fading brown hair and Cali-tanned skin.
“I don’t know why you’d want to [bring it back],” he says. “Nobody needs to know what those characters are doing in middle age. We left them in a nice place. Nobody needs to see that Pacey’s back hurts. I don’t think we need that update.”
And Jackson doesn’t need Dawson’s Creek. From Mr JJ Abrams’ sci-fi series Fringe (2008-2013) to the Golden Globe award-winning The Affair (2014-2019), from Ms Ava DuVernay’s ground-breaking true-crime drama When They See Us (2019) to the recent Ms Reese Witherspoon and Ms Kerry Washington-produced Little Fires Everywhere (2020), he has commanded the small screen – with a collection of dynamic and diverse work – ever since.
His latest role as Mr Christopher Duntsch, the Texas surgeon convicted of gross malpractice when 33 of his patients were left seriously injured after he operated on them and two of them died, in chilling Peacock crime drama Dr Death, is only stepping his career up another gear.
“I’ve never played anyone irredeemable before,” says Jackson, who is joined in the eight-part series (based on the 2018 Wondery podcast of the same name) by Messrs Christian Slater and Alec Baldwin. “He is charming, gregarious and has a high-level intellect, but he’s also a misogynist, probably a sociopath, certainly a narcissist and a complete incompetent who is incapable of seeing himself.”
If Duntsch is terrifying, then Jackson’s portrayal is even more so. The artist formerly known as Pacey is virtually unrecognisable (thanks to prosthetics) in the opening scene, but the real challenge for Jackson was allowing himself to view someone who is so “spectacularly evil” as a human being in order to walk in his shoes. “It’s a more damning portrayal of the man to make him into a human being, rather than just make him the bad guy,” he says. “He really believes he’s the hero, he’s the genius and that he’s the victim, so once I got past my own judgment, all the other things fell into place.”
Jackson might have his pick of stellar roles – and challenges – now, but it has not happened by accident. Take it from someone who has been in the business since landing his first job aged 14 in Disney’s live-action movie series The Mighty Ducks, opposite Brat Pack alumnus Mr Emilio Estevez.
“You try to make it look like it happens accidentally,” he says, “but there is no way to do this and not be ambitious. I’d say I’m extremely ambitious because I’ve been doing this cutthroat job for nearly 30 years. I’m in the pay-off phase of my career now. One of the benefits of surviving for as long as I have is you get to learn from your own mistakes.”
Such as? “I wouldn’t say, ‘I wish I hadn’t done that,’ because it all becomes bricks in a path, but [after Dawson’s Creek] I was not choosy enough about the things I was doing. You get stuck. You start trying to perform the performance you think people are hoping to see you do. I was so used to working all the time that I just worked all the time. There was definitely a conscious moment in my mid-twenties when I realised I wasn’t really enjoying the work that I was doing. My manager at the time just said, ‘Take a breath. You’re burnt out.’”
The turning point came in 2005, when Jackson was offered a role in the two-hander Mr David Mamet play A Life In The Theatre, opposite Sir Patrick Stewart. “God bless him, Patrick could have made my life miserable because I had no idea what I was doing, ” he says. “I hadn’t been on stage since I was a kid and now I was in the West End in over my head. But it reminded me that I actually enjoyed being an actor, that it’s not about the red carpet or travelling around the world. What I really enjoy is working on good material with good people.”
It’s no surprise Jackson’s time on Dawson’s Creek led to a career crisis. From the ages of 19 to 24, he lived with his fellow cast mates in Wilmington, North Carolina, filming day in, day out, in an arrangement he likens to college. “You get to the end and they’re like, ‘Here’s your degree. Go live now. You’re an adult. Go out into the world,’” he says.
But most graduates don’t have to deal with global fame. “It’s transitory. You’re only ever cool for a moment and then you become much less cool. I was always pretty dubious about flatterers,” he says, recalling a time he was stung in London in the mid-2000s. “I went on a date in Hyde Park with a woman whose name I will not use – she was socialite-famous – and she was acting completely bizarre, looking over her shoulder the whole time. I came to find out that she had hired a photographer to follow us through the park and gave a whole story to the tabloids about how I was going to meet her family.”
It was his growing fortune, rather than fame, that caused Jackson the most anxiety. “Suddenly, at 19 years old, I was making more in a week than most of my friends’ parents would make in a year,” he says. “It was lovely to have the money, but it was that feeling of nobody is worth that kind of money. You feel like a fraud and it took me a long time to forgive myself for not being the thing that I was perceived as.”
Born in Vancouver, but raised in Topanga, California, until he was eight (before moving back to Vancouver following his parents’ divorce), Jackson bought his childhood home in 2001 and lives in it today with his wife, British Queen & Slim actor Ms Jodie Turner-Smith, and their 15-month-old daughter.
“My father unfortunately was not a good father or a husband and exited the scene, but that house in Topanga was where everything felt simple, so it was a very healing thing for me to do,” he says. Fast-forward to 2021 and his baby daughter now sleeps in her father’s childhood bedroom. “There was a mural of a dragon on the wall in that room that I couldn’t believe was still there, years later. The owner [who sold him the house] said, ‘I knew it meant a lot to somebody and that they were going to come back for it some day.’”
Becoming a first-time parent during a pandemic sounds stressful, but it afforded Jackson months at home with his wife and child that his normal work schedule wouldn’t have allowed.
“I now recognise how perverse the way that we have set up our society is,” he says. “There is not a father I know who works a regular job who didn’t go back to the office a week later. It’s robbing that man of the opportunity to bond with his child and spend time with his partner.”
Despite his obvious career ambitions, fatherhood has changed Jackson’s priorities in “every possible way”, he says. “It’s 100 per cent changed how I approach my work and my life. That has been made so clear to me in this past year. For me to feel good about what I’m doing day to day, my family has to be the central focus.
“There are plenty of things left for me to do, but now the thing that gets me excited is experiencing the world through my daughter’s eyes. I can’t wait to take her scuba diving. I can’t wait to take her skiing. I can’t wait to read a great book with her. I’m not worried at all she’ll be a wallflower. She’s been a character from the word go.”
Jackson met Turner-Smith, 34, two days after his 40th birthday. He had been single since his 10-year relationship with German actress Ms Diane Kruger ended in 2016. “I was not looking to fall in love again or meet the mother of my child, but life has other plans for you,” he says.
The couple met at a party. Turner-Smith was wearing the same The Future Is Female Ejaculation T-shirt Ms Tessa Thompson’s character, Detroit, wears in the 2018 film Sorry To Bother You. “That’s what I used to break the ice. I shouted, ‘Detroit!’ across the room. Not the smoothest thing I’ve ever done, but it worked. We were pretty much inseparable from the word go. It was a whirlwind romance and I can tell my daughter I literally saw her mother across a room and thought, ‘I have to be next to this woman.’”
A self-confessed “useless” shopper, Jackson gives his wife full credit for his current wardrobe. He is jewellery-free, apart from a wedding band and a gold signet “JJ” ring on his little finger (a present from his wife), and discovered tailored sweatsuits (by Stampd and Reigning Champ) in the pandemic.
“Jodie has influence in the way that a wonderful wife encourages you, through love, to dress well. She was like, ‘We’re going to throw away all the sweatpants from your past and I’m going to get you some that actually make you look like an adult male and you will still feel comfortable around the house,’ and I’m like, ‘What an amazing idea!’ Who knew you could get sweatsuits that actually look good on your body?”
Jackson’s style has evolved, he says, “from slovenly teen to it’s-nice-when-your-clothes-actually-fit-you”. The penny dropped after he auditioned for his former co-star Estevez, who was directing the 2006 Mr Robert Kennedy biopic Bobby. He said to me, ‘You only got this job because I know you. You came in here to play a very well-put together 1960s political operative and you’re wearing jeans and a hoodie.’
“I had to grow up a little bit. We are very much raised in Canada to never, ever show off, so it took me a while to recognise it’s OK to look good when you go out.”
Still, when you’ve grown up in front of the camera, “every pimple literally documented”, and lived (very successfully) to tell the tale, you can probably be forgiven for the odd fashion faux pas.
“I wore a silk Ascot to an event once in Paris and I still have nightmares about it,” he says. “I looked like Fred from Scooby Doo, but you live and learn.”
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supremeinlilac · 4 years
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A Winter Surprise
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Prompt: Something like where reader is an airline pilot and they haven't seen each other in a long time due to reader's work. So reader is coming home for the Christmas holidays and goes to pick up Cordelia from the academy in her pilot uniform coming straight from the airport. Maybe the people there don't know about reader so they're hella confused.
Reader takes Cordelia to Switzerland or somewhere else snowy to celebrate intimate Christmas together. Maybe the reader proposes there? Could you add some snowy walks, hand holding and window shopping and something else hella mushy and sweet? Like Cordelia has hearts for eyes 24/7.
Pairing: Cordelia Goode x Reader
Word Count: 4725
PART 2 HERE
A/n: Thank you once again for this AMAZING prompt!! I loved writing it, and I think it turned out even better the 2nd time lmaoo :) anyway this is going to have only 2 parts because I ran away with myself but I decided to merge the first 2 parts into this one lololol, the second part is a little soft smut because why not.
Also, I really haven’t proof read this, so please let me know if I’ve accidently left a note to myself in this haha. Anyway, I hope this is okay <33
You loved your job wholeheartedly, there was no denying that. It gave you room to experience everything you wanted, from travelling to new places that you could explore on days off, to seeing different cultures and learning languages. Plus, the feeling of being above the line of clouds, watching the earth move slowly beneath you never failed to draw in a breath of admiration. It gave you so much perspective, and helped to keep you grounded, for lack of a better word. Seeing the world below you, so small in the grand scheme of things made you appreciate everything.
You missed your girlfriend selfishly though. Your work as a pilot meant you might have to go months without seeing her and feeling her soft touch. It meant you’d both be frustrated and lonely in these times; which was starting to put a massive strain on your relationship. You’d argue while together about your work schedule, prompting you to take more shifts which never helped in the long run.
Christmas was coming up and you’d not seen her since the start of November, having been mercilessly booked with flights that left you across the world from her. You had planned to surprise Cordelia at Christmas. Well, it was more than one surprise you had up your sleeve; but the first was returning two days early to collect her. Zoe and Mallory were in on your heist, fully committed to handling the school’s affairs for two days for Delia to up and leave.
At your arrival at the academy, girls’ eyes lingered on you as you walked up to the heavy front doors. You supposed they weren’t aware of your job, having only seen you in civilian clothing. Smiling at their confusion, you rang the doorbell, falling backwards slightly to wait. Madison opened the door after a few seconds, eyes widening at your uniform and giving a short whistle. “Damn girl, looking good!” she chided, eyes flicking down your smart navy uniform. Her lips tugged up at one side and she waved her hand so you could enter. “I bet Delia loves a woman in uniform.” She teased; smirk set on her face as she swatted the back of your slacks when you passed. “She’s in the kitchen, I’ll go and get here.”
“No don’t. I’ll find her.” You stopped her with a hand on her wrist, wanting to find your girlfriend yourself. Madison straightened up immediately, hand coming up to her face in a mock salute. “Yes Ma’am.” She spoke seriously, before giggling and pulling you into a hug.
“I’ve missed you Y/n. You have a good time with Cordy, kay?”
“Missed you too Madison.”
Watching her disappear up the stairs before turning and heading for the kitchen. Seeing Cordelia’s shadow on the wall as you approached, you smoothed down the lapels of your uniform and stood against the doorframe. Delia had her back to you, stirring a drink and swaying to the music from the radio. You watched her, waiting for a time when she’d put the mug down so you could make your presence known without the fear of her burning herself on the drink.
Clearing your throat, her head lifted and she turned quickly, gasp leaving her lips and a momentary shock making her freeze. Snapping out of her trance, Cordelia practically threw herself onto you, arms around your neck as she took in your familiar scent.
“You told me you weren’t coming back until Friday!” she accused, grip not faltering on you as you held each other. Her hands stroked your hair when she finally pulled away, just enough to allow you to still hold her.
“I managed to get off early, I thought I’d surprise you.” You smiled when she pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. Cordelia hummed in response, letting you know that she was most pleasantly surprised by your early return.
“Speaking of surprises… We’re going away for Christmas. I managed to pull some strings and get us some tickets” you started to dance with her, pulling her into a light rhythm as you laughed. “We’re going to Switzerland Delia!”
“A white Christmas?” She beamed at the vigorous nod of your head, head falling backwards and eyes closing, picturing the both of you in a warmly lit café by the snowy mountain.
“I love you and your surprises my dear.” She breathed, pulling you by the back of the neck into another kiss she spoke through the chaste kisses, “I’m glad- that- you’re- back.”
A group of the young girls came giggling into the kitchen, forcing you to part, blushing with your hands still together. They stopped when they saw you, silence falling over the space as they didn’t know what to do having interrupted your reunion. “Girls.” You spoke warmly to them, sensing their discomfort, and you pulled the Supreme behind you, past them.
Ascending the stairs to your shared room, you felt Cordelia’s gaze on your back, making you sway your hips slightly to tease.
“You look so good in that uniform baby girl.” She purred, eyes on your butt as you walked in front of her. A quick glance behind you saw the familiar glint of lust in your girlfriend’s eyes, and the smirk that painted her lips.
“But I think I still prefer what’s underneath.”
 You change into a favourite top of yours and jeans while Cordelia busied herself with packing on the bed beside you. She rambled about the happenings of the academy, everything you’d missed in your months absent, pausing on the packing when she’d reach an exciting bit, arms coming up to exaggerate the story.
You told her about the new countries you’d visited and which little romantic places you wanted to take her when she didn’t have so much business to care for anymore. You didn’t want to linger on the thought of what actually had to happen for the title of Supreme to be passed on; focusing instead on the beautiful places that you longed to take her, but probably never could.
After her initial shock of being offered a white Christmas abroad with you, her responsibility to the school ebbed her back into her senses. “But how am I going to run a school if we’re abroad?” she questioned, her perfectionism spiking as she started to worry, “not to mention my duties as Supreme. There’s just too much to think about. What if-” you’d cut off her upcoming rambling with a lengthy kiss, which she relaxed into; eventually giving in to you.
Describing how Zoe and Queenie had offered to run the school in her absence, insisting how competent they’d become and that Delia had helped form them into wonderful young ladies during their time at Miss Robichaux's. Myrtle had spoken to the board on your behalf, stating how Cordelia needed a break in order to be at her best for the order, and how this would be the best thing for everyone. She’d goaded at the men who’d disagreed, saying sarcastically that it was only for two weeks and if they couldn’t control things for that amount of time then they should rethink their position there.
Closing her case with a snap of the clasps, she smiled, having made up her mind. “It is only two weeks.” She agreed with a nod of her head, sliding up to you and tilting her head. “But we can do a lot together in that time” she kissed you, hands at your waist and a glint in her eyes before walking away. You whined at her pulling away, grasping at the fabric of her blouse.
“There’ll be plenty more time for that, sweetheart. Now where did I put my shoes?” She asked, squeezing your chin once before ducking to look under the bed. You picked up the shoes by the door and pushed them into her hands, lifting her case and wheeling it through the door.
Cordelia insisted on speaking to the older girls before you departed, quizzing them on the class rota and giving them a folder which she said contained detailed lists of what needed to be done, which some of the girls shared knowing glances at one another at. You had to practically pull her away lest she overwhelm the girls; or get too anxious over what may happen in her absence and decide it would be better to simply stay.
 On the plane Cordelia sat by the window and you beside her; you had the pleasure of such a view on a daily basis. The plane was relatively quiet for this time of year, almost half the seats remaining unoccupied as it took off, meaning you had the row empty, and where somewhat private.
“Why do you have a list of things you do everyday? When you do them everyday?” you grinned across at your organised Supreme who had opened a Sudoku puzzle and was staring at it with concentration, tongue poking out between teeth.
“You never know when your lady knight in shining armour is going to whisk you away on holiday, now, do you?” bumping her shoulder with yours, eyes still on the puzzle. “Helps to be organised, is all. And hey! It came in useful didn’t it?”
 Leaving the airport, you pulled your coat tighter around yourself, a shiver prickling over the exposed skin at your neck. The view was already breath taking, you heard Cordelia gasp next to you as she set her case on the ground and raised her head. The snowy mountains peaked in the distance over the buildings of the small city which held the airport. Everything was bright; blindingly so as the sun breamed onto the snow covering the house and pavements.
“It’s gorgeous, my love.”
“Just wait till we get to Zermatt, D.”
You’d booked a small cabin house in Zermatt, a quiet town in Switzerland that your co-worker had recommended. He’d said it was never too busy, which would make it perfect for your intimate winter trip with Cordelia that you’d gushed about. You took the single mountain train that took you into the town, faces pressed to icy windows at the views.
The train journey was short into the town, filled with surprised gasps and pointing out animals that passed. You let your head rest on Cordelia’s shoulder, fingers laced with hers as you both took in the passing snow topped trees and vast frozen lakes. After about 20 minutes of stretching mountains, the train pulled out to reveal your pretty little town of lights.
“There it is.” You pointed to Cordelia, and she let out a small noise at the sight of where you’d be staying. In the dusk of the evening, the town was illuminated by a warm orange glow of cabin house lights, mountains looming behind and enveloping the town in a calm nook of the valley. Pine trees scattered through the cabins, leading to a forest off to the side of the town, climbing into the mountains.
“It’s so beautiful. How did you know about this place?”
“My co-pilot, Mark, do you remember meeting him at that fancy Houston party?” Cordelia nodded, eyes still trained on the town we were now looming in on. “He saw me searching for places and recommended a few places that would be quiet. Said that it pays to be a pilot; you know about the most beautiful places that no one else does.”
 When you arrived at the cabin, giddy with excitement from the built up of the trip, Cordelia wasted no time with using her magic to transport your bags inside so that you could look around. The wooden floors creaked beautiful under foot, socks slipping slightly in your haste to see the rooms. There was a cosy living room with a fireplace and a note saying that wood had been stocked out the back, and soft sofa’s with plush red throws draped over the back. The kitchen was old fashioned with a wooden island, and the walls decorated with wintery scenic photography.
The house was warm, and through the door towards the back of the floor you were met with tiled flooring and large wooden beams covered in hanging fairy lights. The hot tub sat in the middle of the room, the ceiling a gaping glass sheet so you could look up to the sky, framed cinematically with snow dusted trees and the shimmering lights.
Cordelia called you back from your slight daze at the rooms, to follow her voice through to the bedroom. She was lazed on her side in the middle of the bed, seductively stroking the blanket and winking. You laughed at her antics, “we’ve only just got here D, you can’t always be in the mood.”
She grinned, sitting up and pulling you down to straddle her, bopping you on the nose and squeezing your cheeks. “For you, my darling. I am always in the mood.” You blushed, squirming on her lap before forcing yourself to move off her and grabbing her hand.
“Come on, you have to see in this room!” you voiced enthusiastically, practically dragging her after you in your hurry to show her what you’d found.
After having explored the cabin thoroughly you both showered, scrubbing off the feeling of travel from your bodies, before pulling warm clothes on and skipping out of the door with hands held to explore the small town under the hood of the afternoon, sky just beginning to darken as the sun dipped behind the mountains.
The town was so peaceful and warm, despite the snow, due to the glow of the lights and the eery lack of the quiet hum of traffic and bustling crowds. Houses looked too perfect with the undisturbed layer of snow that coated the rooves and painted a scene of perfect calm. You and Cordelia had your faces pressed against the glass of one of the small shops, watching a intricate wooden music box tinkling on the display stand, hands linked as she pulled you inside.
The tiny high street contained a small selection of these shops, selling little trinkets to the few tourists that found themselves inhabiting the cabins in winter. Cordelia had bought you a little pendant necklace with your birthstone embedded into, which she’d told you she’d get engraved back home with your initials. You couldn’t help but go back to the store the next day, alone under the guard of getting alcohol from the shop while she ran a bath, and purchasing her the same necklace with her own stone in. You thought she’d appreciate the notion that you both held something so close to your heart that the other also had next to theirs; a reminder that even when you were away for work, you’d always be there.
Eventually, you both found yourself in a cosy little café, nestled in the back in a two-person booth, warm in the glow of the wooden cabin. In an attempt to rid your bones of the deep chill that had settled throughout the day, you ordered steaming hot chocolates with cream and marshmallows. They’d come promptly, and you thanked the waitress before sinking your chin into your hands to stare admiringly at the woman opposite, only to find her in much a similar position, having been beaming, watching you interact with the serving staff.
Cupping the mug with both her hands, shoulders hunched under her chin, Cordelia sipped at the drink, leaving a small line of cream on her upper lip as she set it back down on the table. You smiled goofily at her, reaching to thumb the offending cream from her face, before setting it between her lips to clean off.
“You’re cute.”
“Says the one with a whipped cream moustache.”
You bickered playfully back and forth, feet kicking under the table as you sipped your hot chocolates and ate flapjacks. A warm fuzzy feeling settled in your stomach at the two of you simply relaxing and drinking together; you realised it had been a long time since you’d both been so carefree and without worry to just enjoy the others company.
 The morning sun shone onto the tracks left by your boots in the deep snow behind you, as you both trudged down the unkept pathway towards the secluded train stop. Excluding the small indents of a foxes paws; yours are the only prints that marred the otherwise perfect snow, creating the eery illusion that you were the first to have stepped foot there at all. Cordelia's hand found yours in your coat, fingers linked in the pocket of warmth in the surrounding freezing air. Wisps of condensation danced in front of you at every shivered exhale.
Snow fell peacefully around you as you both talked, speaking in hushed voices as if you would disturb the tranquility; like a pebble into a glassy pond. The sounds around you almost seemed muffled by the soft pillowy snow that enveloped the tree branches and make them bow towards the  ground. Delia gushed about how she'd never seen such beautiful views and how she couldn't get over waking up next to you and seeing the snow counted mountains in the distance out of the window.
You bit back the desire to reach down and pack the snow tightly into a ball, or fall backwards into the blanket and make a snow angel right there, smile wide as you’re returned to a childlike state of excitement and innocence in the presence of snow.
The red paint of the train peeked through the trees ahead of you, stark and conspicuous against the bright white of everything else. Cordelia let out an animated giggle as she set of towards the clearing, pulling you behind her with breathless mumbles of encouragement.
“Come on, what do we want? Front or back?”
The carriage seats were soft and plush as you settled against them, breath steamy against the cool glass when you pressed warm cheeks against it. It was peaceful, you were both among the silent few on the first train of the day that lead to the summit of the looming Gornergrat. The train rumbled beneath you as it became alive, shuddering as it slowly pulled away from the stop, wheels moaning in ached protest as it began its ascent.
Your fingers tingled at the change of temperature on the train, colour blooming back into paled cheeks at the comforting warmth. You both shed gloves and scarves to the seat opposite, hands brushing lingering snow from hats and shoulders as to avoid them melting and seeping invasively into cold clothes. The Supreme took your hand between hers, cupping it and bringing it to her face to blow warm air into her palms, rubbing the numbing cold feeling from one hand before repeating the action on the other.
Out of the window, you could see the rest of the train curl around the corner of the mountain in front of you, the drop into the valley below steep and dangerous just to the side of the track. Cordelia loved to look down into the vast space below, seeing the miniaturized trees and cabins, just the thought of the sheer height made your stomach clench uncomfortably and your head spin, clutching to your girlfriend’s hand. You knew that this feeling was irrational; you spent everyday up thousands of feet above the clouds, piloting planes, but then you had full control of the situation, knowing that nothing could go wrong. This was different.
It started to snow just before the train pulled up at the peak of the mountain, giant dancing snowflakes whirling through the air and turning the sky white with their abundance. You both shrugged hats and scarves back on and shoulders hunching protectively as the door swung open, leaving at the mercy of the elements outside.
Algid winds nipped sharply at your cheeks as you stepped off the train, spontaneous tears forming at the invasive breeze on your face. Cordelia’s hair whipped wildly around her face, only stilled slightly with her hat, framing her excited eyes as she turned to you, smile wide and hands up in the air as if reaching for the sky.
The snow was deep as you trekked the short distance towards the viewpoint, snowfall easing as you reached the edge, clearing the sky in front of you to reveal the clear views that spread before you. Cordelia reached the fencing first, turning to wave a hand to hurry you up and join her.
At the viewpoint, you both let collective gasps leave your lips at the panoramic scenery. 5000 feet above the tiny orangely lit town where you’d been mere hours before. Necks craned to see better, your finger pointing and enthusicastically shouting that you could see your cabin below; a pinprick of brown against the background of overwhelming, white-washed landscape.
Breathless at the sheer view you’d been gifted with of the Alps and the Matterhorn, you both fell into a deep silence. You knitted your brows together, looking forward as you felt in your pocket, breathing deep and building yourself up in your mind to do what you had planned this whole trip for.
“I am so sorry that my job causes me to be so absent.” You mused, elbows coming to rest on the bar of the viewpoint. You both continued to stare at the views as Cordelia mirrored you, elbows leaning on the bar. “Baby, we all have to work. I’m just glad we get to-”
“I quit my job.” You blurted out, causing her to stop and turn to face you. “You what?” Staring at you from behind wide eyes, you repeated yourself, finally tearing your eyes from the winter view to glance at Cordelia. The surprise on her face was not well hidden, neither was the fact she was saddened to hear that you’d quit the job you’d once dreamed of.
“You don’t need to that my love. I know it makes you happy.” Her gloved hand came to hold yours, eyes sincere as she squeezed your hand in hers.
“I got a new job. Its seasonal so I only have to work January through March and then September. Its better than what we’re doing now, right?”
Cordelia nodded, turning to face you. “That gives us so much more time together; thank you.” You fiddled in your pocket to retrieve you phone, having to strip your hands of the warm gloves that covered them to unlock it. You had told Delia that you wanted to show her something on it, but you accidently let the device slip from your fingers and into the snow by her feet, disappearing into the layers of snow.
“I’ve got it.” She assured you, and you let her crouch down to retrieve your phone, slipping down yourself behind her. She straightened up and turned around, smile faltering as she took in your position. “Y/n.” She warned, voice wavering and eyes darting to look for other people that may be nearby. “What are you-”
“I love you Delia. I love you so much and I know that you love me too.” Her hands came up to her mouth when she realised that you weren’t joking, eyes filled with adoration as she listened.
“The moment I knew that I would follow you anywhere, and that you were the one; my only one, was when you looked after me in March when I had that Spanish flu. I couldn’t leave the bedroom in case I passed it onto the girls, and you stayed with me the whole time, caring for me when I was too weak to do it myself.” Cordelia was crying now, beaming through tears which she kept wiping away with gloved fingers, and nodding along with you words.
“Well this is me staying, D, I want to stay with you for the rest of our lives. I love you.” She mouthed ‘I love you too’ back, head leaning to the side slightly as she wanted nothing more than to pull you into a hug and never let you go.
“I love that you make me whole, and that when you smile, I feel like I might actually die, because you’re so beautiful Deils. I love that you are nothing like Fiona, and that you stick up for me, and that we make memories together and that my most beautiful moments are with you.”
“I can’t wait to have moments just like right now for rest of our lives. Will you marry me?”
You slowly opened the box to reveal the ring that glimmered against the harsh light of the sun; eyes lifting to meet Cordelia who was staring at you unwavering, hands clasped at her chest. She was nodding fervently, laugh bubbling out through her smile as she pulled you up into her by your hands.
“Yes, my darling. Yes of course I will!”
After shakily slipping the ring onto her finger, relief and happiness drawing fresh tears upon both of your cheeky; you let Cordelia admire it against the background of the mountains. Rising onto toes to press a lingering kiss to her temple, her fingers sprayed apart as she held them up to the light.
“Come here you.” She coaxed, fingers wrapping round the back of your neck and drawing you into a passionate kiss. It was the ultimate memory, to kiss, now newly fiancés at the peak of a snow-capped mountain in Switzerland.
 Returning from outside, Cordelia lit the fire with a dexterous flick of her wrist, settling down on the couch with a sigh. Her legs spread across the whole couch, back resting at one end. Her eyes searched for you, twisting to look down the corridor at you walking towards her.
“Come here baby.” She cooed; arms extended towards you in invitation for you to settle between. You gave her a quick peck on the lips and a gentle squeeze before lying between her legs and resting your head against her shoulder, nuzzling your face sideways into her neck, inhaling the lingering smell of her perfume on her pulse point.
She wrapped her arms around you, and you let out a surprised squeal as she pressed her cold palms suddenly against the warm skin of your stomach, muscles rippling instinctively under her touch. “Sorry baby.” She apologised, placing a kiss to the hair on the crown of your head before letting her chin rest there.
“It’s okay, I just wasn’t expecting it” you giggled, relaxing again as her fingers drew absentminded patterns on your torso, her breath tickling the hair atop your forehead as she exhaled.
You both sat in the comfortable silence that enveloped you, having been apart for so long you basked in the fact you can simply hold one another and just exist. Cordelia’s thumb brushed softly against your own knuckles and you hummed in appreciation at the candidly loving action.
That night, Cordelia found herself propped on her side, head lying on her bunched-up pillow and allowing herself a quiet moment of observation. She missed these simple aspects of your presence. The comfort you brought her, even in sleep as she watched your chest rise and fall evenly and undisturbed.
You stirred slightly, face scrunching up momentarily before relaxing into a peaceful expression again, making Cordelia hold her breath to not wake you. Hair had fallen to block you face so she reached out delicately to tuck it back behind your ear, her eyes brimming with tears that she gets to simply watch you sleep like this.
Overwhelmed with her love for you beside her; she fell into a rhythm of her thumb on your cheek, tracing the freckles and light marks that marred your skin beautifully. You always expressed your dislike for these, but Cordelia would always silently shake her head in objection, knowing you would believe her voiced adoration.
“When did I get so lucky?” she whispered, leaning forward to brush lips lightly over yours before returning to her pillow and hooking an arm over your hip.
Dipping into sleep, she found herself vowing to prolong her reign as Supreme for as long as she could, never wanting to leave you alone and vulnerable. Especially while you slept, she thought. You look so pretty when you sleep. So pretty. She drifted off, arm draped protectively over your waist, pulling you closer in sleep.
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rainecreatesstuff · 4 years
Text
LAMP Soulmate AU Bulletfic thing
Word Count: 2569
TW: Mentions and implications of abuse, mentions of anxiety, descriptions of panic attacks, mentions and implications of death + illness
They’re all connected in different ways
Virgil is connected to Patton through that thing where marks on your soulmate’s skin appear of yours too
Roman through a thing where on your eleventh birthday at 11:11pm a name will pop into your head and wow its your soulmate’s
And Logan through the string thing
Roman is connected to Patton through a timer on his wrist
And Logan through a tattoo-like mark on your wrist that says your soulmate’s first words to you
Logan and Patton are connected through a soulmark (A tattoo or raised pattern on your skin that is also on your soulmate)
Patton is blind
so in this au different soulmarkers develop at different ages
So when V’s little he’s super excited to meet his sm, bc his parents are soulmates and everything he’s seen abt them is so sweet and exciting!
He turns six and doesn’t develop a timer, which is what he was hoping for
But that’s ok! There are tons of other soulmarkers!
And then he doesn’t develop a soulmark when he’s seven
Or a sentence on his wrist when he’s eight
And he can see colours
So he’s starting to get nervous
And hey! Mom’s sick, and in the hospital, and she’s just not doing too swell
But then when he turns nine, a beautiful red string has been tied around his ring finger when he wakes up!
And wow! Mom look, I have a soulmate! Just like you and daddy!
And then a few months later he’s doing his homework at the kitchen table and the string goes limp before shriveling up and turning black
The doctors have no explanation, and V’s anxiety has really started to kick in
Mom doesn’t seem to be getting better either
So when he turns ten, he is fully aware that this is probably his last chance to develop a soulmarker
He writes on his forearm the night before his birthday
It says “Hey, I’m V! I guess we’re soulmates?”
When he wakes up there’s nothing new
Which is fine! Because that means his sm is probably in the same time zone as him!
But then he keeps waiting and
Nothing
Nothing for a week.
Eventually his dad convinces him to wash it off
Then on his eleventh birthday he knows how uncommon a soulname connection is, but he needs to try
So it’s 11:10 and he’s sitting at his desk with a marker ready to write it down and then-
Roman Prince
Roman prince? What do you mean Roman prince? That’s not a name! What the hell?!
So he’s really sad and anxious and stuff because he doesn’t have a soulmate and, yknow, that’s kinda upsetting for him
And hey, your mom really isn’t doing too well, we have to visit her after school, okay?
At first Virgil doesn’t understand why mom’s being so dramatic or why she keeps telling him she loves him
Then it hits him
And now he’s sobbing and hugging her and shaking and he can’t breathe he can’t breathe he can’t breathe
Fun fact! Turns out this is a regular thing and he has really bad anxiety.
And mom has been put in a medically induced coma
So a year later dad decides to pull the plug
Virgil’s anxiety has gotten really bad
He’s just not in a good place
High school goes by without much happening
Now he’s going to university! How exciting and stressful!
Roman, too, was entranced by the idea of soulmates. His parents aren’t soulmates, but they encourage his excitement about them!
And when he turns six, he develops a timer on his wrist! Score! What a romantic way to meet the love of your life!
Or friend of your life
His moms are so excited for him! They get him new paints and take him out to dinner to celebrate.
And then he wakes up on his eighth birthday to words on his right wrist
It says “If you could stop talking, it would be vastly appreciated.”
He’s a little pissed
His moms take him to the doctor bc “wtf why does he have TWO soulmarkers?!”
The answer is that he has two soulmates
It’s uncommon, but possible
So while he is ecstatic and ready to parade his soulmarkers around the school, his moms are a little less happy and a little more worried
They may have made the suggestion that he wears long sleeves most days, those ones that he hates because they will not roll up
But he did what they asked because they’re his moms, and he loves them very much
And then a few years later on his birthday he’s typing up a short story for school
It’s due the next day so he’s rushing through it a little bit
It’s still amazing
But anyways, he’s writing, and he suddenly just gets the name “Virgil Miller” stuck in his head
He doesn’t think anything of it bc he’s writing and that’s normal
He ends up naming the main character Virgil 
Logan grows up in a bit of a run-down part of town
His Mami and Dad are soulmates (he doesn’t think they should be)
They fight a lot, and sometimes Dad’ll hurt Mami, especially at night when they think he’s asleep
And he’s heard Mami on the phone with his Tia, talking about court cases? And laws, and soulmates?
Needless to say, he isn’t all too enamoured with the idea of soulmates
When he’s seven he gets a soulmark, some bumps over his heart, which is a little distressing
He’s never met this person, but he’s supposed to spend his whole life with them?
He’s very scared that his soulmate will be like Dad
And then he develops the words “Bold of you to assume I can stop talking” on his right wrist
And then a string when he’s nine.
He doesn’t tell his parents about any of them. “Soulless” people existed, and he knew his Mami was hoping he was one of them.
And then later that year Mami sits him down and tells him that she’s going to live with his Tia until she can find her own apartment, and that she and Dad aren’t together anymore
Logan cries for a while, and tells her about all the things he’s heard, and the bruises he’s seen, and begs to go with her
Mami says she was hoping he would
His Dad finds out the day before they leave and he hits Logan
Multiple times
And when his Mami steps in, Dad scowls and yells and stomps away and Mami picks Logan up and they run to the car and leave
When they get to his Tia’s he hides in the guest bedroom they said is his and he takes a pair of scissors and
Snip snip, he’s 33% more “soulless”
He steals Mami’s concealer and puts it on his wrist everyday to cover the words there
The only one he doesn’t cover is the soulmark on his chest, which he almost never sees because of his shirt
Whenever anyone asks, he just tells them he’s soulless
He tries not to get too close to people, but he usually fails and so he has a very small, very tight friend group 
Oh also he’s a grade ahead of his year
Patton’s family is very well off
He’s the oldest of four brothers
He’s trans, but his family is v supportive and helped him transition as soon as they found out
His service dog’s name is Cookie and she’s a golden retriever
He’s had her since he was eleven, and he loves her very much
Because he’s blind there’s certain things he didn’t know about growing up
For example, nobody told him about soulmates until he was nine
Which really explains the weird ticking he hears every once in a while, as well as the strange, tiny bumps on his chest (which spell out “Loved” in Braille)
He doesn’t think about it too often, but he’d be lying if the idea didn’t entrance him
He didn’t think he’d ever meet his soulmates, though, and if he did, he wasn’t sure they’d want the responsibility of a blind soulmate
On the day he turns ten, there’s this little tickling on his forearm, like butterflies gently taking off on him
He doesn’t really think anything of it, though
Despite being blind, Patton is super capable
He can’t cook by himself, but if he’s supervised he does a really good job. He’s the most prepared for “real life” out of his siblings, which is strange, considering he’s the oldest
He goes to public school, where most kids are really nice (sometimes antagonistically nice), but there were also some rude kids
“You don’t really need that walking stick, you’ve got a dog, and we need it to play our game!”
The amount of times he’s had to explain that no you dumbass I do still need the stick is ridiculous
But he keeps a smile on his face and forges through it
And then in grade eleven Roman’s studying in the hallway when he sees some kid being bullied
Well, not bullied, but definitely teased. Something was wrong, anyways
He’s been on edge all day because his timer keeps going down
But he’s not really thinking about it rn
So he goes over and gets the idiots to leave and
Holy hell did heaven drop an angel? They must have, because look at this boy with his golden hair and tanned skin and freckles and
Beep beep motherfucker. It’s soulmate o’clock
And Roman is just so happy
“H-hey, I’m Roman!” “Oh, hi, I’m Patton! Did... did your timer go off?” “Uh yeah! It did!”
And Patton
Just grins so wide and there’s tears, and he leaps up and hugs Roman so tight
And Roman is so freaking happy!!!! He asks Patton for his contact because duh and Pat’s like
“Uhhh well I can’t text”
“Why?”
“..... I’m blind?” “OHHHHHHH”
So they figure they can talk over the phone because Patton does have a phone for calling
So they have a cute first date and they fall in love and everything’s good and dandy and Roman’s going to college but Patton’s found this real nifty job that just so happens to be right next to Roman’s college so they move in together and Patton knows about Roman’s other sm and Roman knows about Patton’s other sm
And Roman’s in a lecture now
And he didn’t really notice but he’s been muttering
And he’s just kinda sitting there when he hears it from the guy next to him
So he looks up and here’s this ethereal looking dude with gorgeous brown eyes and dark hair and
“Bold of you to assume I can stop talking.”
He curses every known god for making his first words to his soulmate be a meme
They excuse themselves from class because holy shit
And Logan introduces himself shakily
And Roman asks for his number
And they go on a date where Roman tells him about Patton and Logan mentions having a soulmark over his heart
Logan is really hesitant to join their relationship bc he was hoping he would never meet his soulmates
So they don’t put a label on it right away
But they go on a few dates and hang out a bunch and Logan realizes that he actually really, really likes these guys and he doesn’t really want to live the rest of his life without them
So he talks to them and tells them about some of the stuff that happened when he was a kid
Roman and Patton are horrified but they hug him and promise that they will never lay a finger on him if he asks them not to 
And Logan just has a moment of “These guys love me. Like actually love me. And want me to be happy. And I think I feel the same?” 
So on their next date Logan asks both of them to be his boyfriends and obviously they say yes
And basically they’re just all really in love
They move into a bigger apartment together at the beginning of year two
So then they’re all cuddling one day when Logan tells them about his string
And so the other two are like “oh shit is there another???”
And Roman says that on his eleventh birthday he just suddenly had this name pop into his head but he just assumed he’d wanted the name for a character so
And Patton says that after getting his soulmark AND a timer he didn’t think to check for anything else
So they’re all kinda like well whoops let’s hope we still meet them!
And Patton’s at his job one day when this guy walks in and he’s one of the new employees
Pat’s got his seeing eye doggo with him but the vest is off cuz they’re both on break
And so V’s like “oh cool dog can I pet him?”
Bc usually he would never just go up and ask but he literally can’t stop himself because here’s this adorable dude in front of him and the universe is screeching at him to say hi
And Pat hears his voice and immediately falls in love
“Oh, yea sure! She’s my eye dog, but she’s on break so it’s all good!”
And V meets Pat and his dog
And they end up exchanging numbers because they are coworkers and well
Yknow
So a couple days later, after him and Patton have been talking a lot, Pat invites him over
So V goes over and meets Roman and Logan
And he hears Roman’s name and
Holy shit
And of course Roman is also freaking out because the name Virgil just really hasn’t left his head since he thought of it
So yknow
Logan’s a little unsure, but then the two get talking about astronomy and he doesn’t care if they’re not soulmates he is going to marry this guy
And they all get really close really fast
And then one day Virgil offhandedly mentions the string thing
And Logan freezes and just
Shows V his right ring finger, where they can both see this rotting string that’s still tied tight around it and
Fuck V can’t breathe are you kidding? right now?
So they help ground him, and Logan explains everything
And Roman tells him what’s up
But they’re not really sure how he’s connected to Patton but then he just
Grabs a marker and draws a heart on his hand and
It’s right there on Patton’s hand holy s h i t
So they take Virgil on a date and stuff and they make it official
And Virgil’s a little nervous bc like those three have been together for a while now and he feels like he’s intruding
But he talks to Logan and L understands bc Roman and Patton had been dating for 2+ years when he found them
He promises that V is not intruding and that they all really love him
And Virgil just full on starts crying because he hasn’t felt this loved since before his mom died and he loves his bfs so much
They find their bfs and just cuddle all night
Virgil moves in with the rest of them at the beginning of third year 
They get their happily ever after for the most part
Hopefully y’all liked this! I think I’ll be posting more writing on here, bc I have TONS of wips stacked up in a google docs and I’d like to get them out of there lmao
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uwua3 · 4 years
Note
Hello! Sunflowers hold a really special meaning for me so when i read the "sunflower dreams" My heart was so happy!! I havent felt this happy in a long time since quarantine started so thank you for taking the time to write it! It really made my day. If i could request a kazunari x reader where they're both artists that would be amazing. Maybe the reader can be a famous anonymous art influencer? Its up to you! Again thank you so much for writing "sunflower dreams" 💜
i’m so happy i could make you smile ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) it’s messages like these that absolutely make my day! thank you so much for taking your time to even read it, i’m glad to know it touched your heart ♡ i hope you have a good rest of your day—please know all of a3! love you vvv much!!! `・ω・)9 i hope this makes your heart happy just like before! thank you, anon, for everything
summary: every time you fell in love, you made a new art piece
author’s note: please smile from this absolutely soft and endearing kazunari fluff! in times like these where negativity is all around us, it’s good to take a break and purposely give yourself happiness. i hope this is a light in your day and makes you experience all the goodness of love! ♡ — concept based on “to all the boys i’ve loved before”
word count: 3,389
music: i like me better – lauv
to everyone i’ve loved before.
🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari
you created art every time you had a crush so intense, you didn’t know what else to do
no matter how big or small it was, or how long or short it lasted, love is love. even if it was a random stranger you’d never see again or someone you knew for a lifetime, love is love
therefore, there was no exact total. because even if you didn’t remember every single person you’ve made art for, you clearly remembered what it was like experiencing the euphoria of love. the phenomenon of your heart selflessly beating for someone else. the attack of getting hit by cupid’s arrow out of no where. the rush of emotions unlike any other
love was everywhere and you made sure to create something that was a memory of it. that was when you decided to practice art after being unable to recall a person’s face a moment too long
it was your form of a love letter. a picture spoke a thousand words you couldn’t write, and art was the perfect way to convey that. online for everyone to see were your love letters in art form: portraits of everyone you’ve loved
you fell in love again and again, a new art piece posted soon over the years of your life. under the username, to-everyone-ive-loved, a lifelong project was in the works for all of social media to see
unknown to the rest of the world, you were the artist behind the blog “to-everyone-ive-loved” who created portraits from memory
but, you didn’t mean to fall in love with another artist as well
all it took was one comment and you were theirs
it was one of your most recent posts, a finished piece on a stranger you saw. you found yourself in veludo way, the ideal street to find people you’d never forget. after witnessing a sudden street act, only one actor caught your eye that day
you didn’t know his name, but you didn’t need to. you were in love
you immediately rushed home without a second thought, the inspiration and creativity infectious after watching him perform. something about his energy was wildly entertaining and bizarre, like a modern pop song as a person. he was effortlessly trendy, popular, and charismatic just from the few minutes you saw him
the moment he stood up on that street corner like it was a stage, all eyes were on him and he knew it. as you sketched into the day, you remembered the small details clearly. dirty blonde hair with no dark roots in sight, glittering green eyes, wide welcoming smile. he had the face of an actor, that’s for sure
when you posted it right after finishing, you didn’t expect any major attention. on average, your posts got 100 likes or so. while it was an impressive feat, nothing could’ve prepared you for that one comment
kaz-PIKO: i’m in love with your art ♡
as your popularity and fame grew before your very eyes, you clicked on his profile and realized it was him. the actor you had seen earlier at veludo way
you didn’t know what happened, but all you knew was you couldn’t forget this one person, miyoshi kazunari, no matter how hard you tried
no matter where you went, you couldn’t draw anyone else except that boy named kazunari. after scrolling through his entire instablam account, you found out he was an actor for mankai company’s summer troupe. he was a star in his own right, with a stage presence like the spotlight was constantly on him and a heart of gold
this was the first time you ever got so caught up on someone that they didn’t leave your mind. hours became days, and days began becoming a week before you let yourself follow him back
everyone you had ever drawn had never recognized themselves before. it was all because a follower connected the visual similarities between your art and kazunari’s unique traits that kazunari knew you had seen him before
if only he wasn’t a social media influencer with followers reaching the hundreds of thousands. at least, his popularity attracted attention to your profile...
this was a problem, however. because if you couldn’t draw anyone else, what could you do? once again, you stalked kazunari’s blog once again like it was a habit
it was never really a rule to make one love letter per person, but you never had wanted to make another for the same person. until, now
video after video. picture after picture. story after story. you could see kazunari’s face even when you closed your eyes. what about him made you daydream about him constantly? was it his charming voice that could make anyone stop and stare? his intricate piercings that were different every day? his ability to make you feel at home? whatever it was (or maybe it was an accumulation of everything and more), you had to draw kazunari again
when you posted it, you typically didn’t add more to the caption than the date and time. except this time, you felt like all your rules were being broken over someone who had no idea who you were
to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 A.M.) — social butterfly
you watched it upload. it was a piece you had never done before. glowing butterflies of all colors surrounded the center of the masterpiece, a smiling kazunari
hopefully, this would solve whatever feelings you were having and the world would go back to normal. you’d move on, fall in love with someone else, and repeat
it didn’t work, because some time later, you woke up to a comment that made you feel the butterflies in your stomach
kaz-PIKO: like a butterfly, i’ll fly to you, wherever you are~ ☆
and for some reason, you wanted kazunari to find you
you had never felt so motivated to draw before. however, your muse was the same. a beautiful boy named miyoshi kazunari who was slowly capturing your heart without even knowing it. you watched the pages in your sketchbook lessen and lessen. the corners of assignments and napkins and anything in between was covered in doodles. if there was a writing instrument in your hand, something related to kazunari would come out of it
it was a fascination. a fixiation, even. you had only seen one performance before falling in love. was it because kazunari responded that it made you feel like you had a chance?
you wouldn’t admit it, but it was becoming embarrassing with how much you were staring at the few unread messages from kazunari in your dm box. they came in right after you had followed him back, and more arrived when you posted the “social butterfly” piece
what was stopping you from talking to your muse? you knew the answer without thinking: what if these feelings were real?
obsessions and crushes come and go, but... love, love stayed. there wasn’t any possibility you could love someone from afar without knowing anything about them, right?
but, then again... you did know some things about kazunari. you knew kazunari was the best actor of all time, with expressions and gestures the equivalent of art. kazunari was art—in every single way possible. everything about him made you want to draw and draw and draw
you only drew kazunari for a certain time, no matter which stranger crossed your path. people you knew you would’ve sketched simply became passer-bys, and it was all because of kazunari’s sunny smile that you were in love. or, what you thought was love
the more you thought about kazunari’s unread dms, the more you wondered what this was. why did kazunari make you so happy? was this truly the first time you were experiencing... a crush?!
for the first time since that street act, you found yourself in veludo way. while half of you was hoping you’d randomly bump into summer troupe’s moodmaker, the other half was petrified about how kazunari was a real person. a very much popular, recognizable person
it was the weekend, and the burden of university projects was telling you to go back and focus. yet, with a sketchbook in one hand and a pencil tucked behind your ear, you were very much prepared to draw to your heart’s content
as you tried to flip to a clean page, you heard something that made your heart flutter. despite the noise and busy atmosphere of veludo, a distinct laugh was audible above the crowd. when you looked up, your eyes barely registered a deep blue jacket before walking straight into the person
you nearly tumbled to the ground before two hands steadied you, a surprised “whoa!” leaving their mouth before being followed by a gentle laugh. the usual embarrassment didn’t set in until you went to go thank the person, only to stop
oh my god. you had just bumped into miyoshi kazunari, your muse for the past month or so
kazunari grinned, even though it faltered slightly at your wide-eyed expression and awkward silence. he didn’t seem to mind as he adjusted his black top hat, pocketing his phone and confidently meeting your gaze
“i’m so sorry~! i hope you’re okay, i’m kazunari!” kazunari introduced and you realized he didn’t know you were behind to-everyone-ive-loved-before. you quickly adjusted yourself, pretending as if this wasn’t the highlight of your entire week
when you introduced yourself, kazunari’s eyes sparkled with interest as he easily led you into conversation. despite being a bit of a socially awkward artist who preferred being alone over anything else, kazunari was... comfortable. you didn’t feel self-conscious of how you acted, because he readily accepted how you were with a smile
was he like this was everyone or... did he find you to be a work of art, too?
standing off to the side, you finally noticed several members of mankai were advertising their latest play. bright, aesthetically pleasing flyers were being handed out to everyone walking by, and you seemed to look a moment too long before kazunari followed your gaze and suddenly snapped his fingers
“oh! are you interested in theatre?” you really weren’t, but you nodded anyways just to see kazunari’s excitement. he pardoned himself for a moment just to snatch a flyer, returning to show it off with a proud smile
“please come to mankai company’s summer performance!” kazunari’s smile sparkled and before he looked around to see if anyone was watching, he winked. kazunari covered the side of his face that was facing his troupe members, pretending as if you two were sharing some big secret
“plus, i’ll be there. if you come, i’ll make sure to do my very best~” kazunari bargained, even though you already knew he was already planning on wowing the audience with his charisma. you took in his genuine want to impress you and the butterflies came back
“i’ll come.” you agreed without even checking the date or reading anything. now all of you just wanted more & more opportunities as the person kazunari was surprisingly interested in, not as the artist who was basically in love with him
agreeing right away was worth it when kazunari shot you a grateful, blinding smile in return. you stumbled over your words with how taken back you were, but asked anyways, “do you like flowers?”
kazunari’s eyes softened for a moment, his usual energy suddenly gone before returning. he seemed genuinely moved by your question, and you wondered how many flowers it’d take to see him smile again like that
“i do, especially if they’re from you.”
“what kind?”
someone called kazunari’s name, insisting they were going to be late for practice. kazunari shouted back an agreement by telling them to go ahead first, before putting all his attention on you once again
“hibiscus.” meaning delicate beauty
before kazunari could ask for your socials, with his hand already reaching for his phone, you cut him off, hoping your voice wasn’t off
“next week. 7 P.M., mankai theatre. i’ll be there, front row.” you promised and took off, rushing off with a wave as kazunari stared after you for a second before waving back enthusiastically
as you left, kazunari was about to leave before he noticed something on the ground. it was a plain sketchbook, unassuming at first but it was nearly bursting at the binding with how many pages there were
when kazunari picked it up, he was about to flip to the first page before mankai called his name again, impatient this time. kazunari held onto the book and sent one last glance towards your direction before disappearing, hurrying to make sure the director wouldn’t penalize him for being the reason everyone was late
when you arrived home, you instinctually reached for the pencil behind your ear. at the same time, you put your hand in your bag, attempting to feel the familiar edges of your sketchbook
then, after turning your bag inside out and finding nothing, you collapsed onto your desk chair with shock and disbelief
you lost your sketchbook in veludo way the moment you met kazunari. what if he had it?
you drew another piece and stared at your screen, wondering if you should post it. it was kazunari once again with a yellow hibiscus flower behind his ear, the same gentle smile you couldn’t perfectly capture gracing his lips
you typed the caption and backspaced before settling on something that only you and him would know
to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (8:01 P.M.) — delicate beauty
you hesitated before deleting the post a second after. maybe, you’d keep some artwork to yourself
kazunari had the sketchbook open next to his bedside, his phone in his hands and your profile open. he could recognize your art style a mile away, and the moment he saw the first sketch after practice, he couldn’t believe it
did this explain why he felt such a natural attraction to you? when you bumped into him, kazunari swore he could see the sparks flying. you made him feel like he was falling in love and you only proved him right when you two talked earlier. he wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to see you again
was this what love at first sight felt like? kazunari giddily typed a message over and over again, the unread messages of his filling his screen
kaz-PIKO: heya!! ★>d(,,・ε´-,,)⌒☆ just wanted to say i LOVE your art fr!!! we should totes collab, you know???
kaz-PIKO: thanks for drawing me btw :0 does this mean you live near veludo? let’s meet up!!!
kaz-PIKO: ,,, i don’t usually say this but, that social butterfly piece was breathtaking. you must really like me, huh? (・ω<)☆ jk haha
kaz-PIKO: no but really, it’s beautiful. thank you, honestly. it made my day, you make me happy ♡
kaz-PIKO: you must be really beautiful, too. i would want to draw you as well. lmk if ur up for that haha
kazunari read back his previous messages, all of them delivered but unopened. he realized how... how open he already was with the anonymous faceless artist, despite never interacting with them
now that he knew what you looked like, it only reassured his intuition that he was rightfully head over heels for you
kazunari typed something before deleting it, closing out of instablam and throwing his phone somewhere on his bed
kaz-PIKO: i was right, you are beautiful. i may have fallen in love, too
some things were better left unsaid. after all, you two had until next week to figure everything out
for the rest of the week, all you and kazunari did were think about the other person. a small part of you was afraid kazunari wasn’t the dream boy you imagined, but he was much more. you noticed he started posting more often and turned his notifications, wanting to be one of the first to see his practice videos and university selfies
you didn’t post any of the art you made of kazunari, making it the longest you hadn’t posted ever. kazunari couldn’t help but refresh your account every now and then, hoping he’d see his face again, as selfish as it was. kazunari wouldn’t know how’d he feel if he saw someone else had your heart
the longer time went on, the more you were certain. every fascination you had with someone was temporary, and you remembered the feeling rather than the person. but, with kazunari, you liked him for who he was. everything kazunari made you feel was new and exciting, but even when that went away, you still liked him
kazunari was your first crush, for real
kazunari liked making people like him. so, your online confession through art wasn’t exactly a surprise. but, yours was different. it was earnest, honest, and everything he didn’t know he was needing
kazunari looked through your sketchbook again and again, tracing over the notes you wrote in the margins and admiring your skill
kazunari liked you, and he was certain he would’ve still liked you even if you weren’t to-everyone-ive-loved-before
when showtime arrived, kazunari was oddly nervous. peeking from behind the red curtain, kazunari could already see you were one of the first sitting front row, just like you said. he had practiced his lines a thousand times and summer was fully prepared, why was he nervous?
before he went on, kazunari ignored the urgency of the mankai staff and quickly texted a message to your profile, hoping you’d at least see the notification this time
kaz-PIKO: i like you, too
(when you felt your phone buzz, you quickly silenced it)
the show moved you to a standing ovation, just like everyone else in the audience. as summer walked out to bow and express their gratitude, you watched kazunari’s eyes search for yours as he tilted his head towards backstage. you nodded, knowing you’d do anything to see this kazunari. actor kazunari, who was on cloud 9 with his performance and glowing from praise
you wanted to see, to experience, to draw, all versions of kazunari
after the applause, you looked around backstage before feeling a hand on your arm, the feeling reminiscent of the first time you bumped into kazunari
“you came.” kazunari breathlessly stated, as if he was surprised. before he could say anything else, you presented him with a bouquet of hibiscus flowers. the same shade of yellow you drew him with
“of course, i wanted to see you again.” you honestly admitted, knowing it made you flustered. kazunari carefully took the flowers before grinning, gently placing then beneath his chin. he looked like a vision, you wish you could’ve asked him to stand still so you could capture this moment forever
“i wanted to see you, too.” kazunari softly said, all the energy of being on stage gone. it was tranquil and peaceful, like you two were the only people in the entire theatre
kazunari took a moment to admire you before realizing something, taking something from behind him and presenting it to you. it was your sketchbook on the bottom, but a smaller version was on top of it, signed in silver sharpie. kazunari’s signature was glittering like his eyes as you took it
“next time, let’s draw together.”
kazunari’s sketchbook was filled with you. anything from small doodles to encouraging messages was found inside, with tens of post-it notes of just thoughts about you. kazunari’s art was colorful and extremely out of the box compared to his usual traditional style. it made you smile
kazunari watched you flip through it, already knowing this was the greatest act of love he could’ve declared this early on. he anticipated for you to reach the end
when you landed on the last page, you saw a note
do you want go on a date with me?
“next time, respond to my dms! that way i don’t have to write everything~!” kazunari teased and you two shared a laugh, knowing everything was going to be okay
“yes.”
“yes...?”
“yes, i’ll respond to your dms. and yes, i’ll go on a date with you.”
eventually, you ended up closing your blog for good. your last post was a picture of you and kazunari, with one caption
to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 P.M.) — to the one boy i love now, i love you
kaz-PIKO: i love you, too ♡
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84 or 33 with Obi-wan?
from this angst/fluff prompts list
[84. “going somewhere?”]
Silently, Anakin took the silent steps that had become familiar to him over these past few weeks. Normally, he had to wait for Obi-Wan to go to sleep–which was a task on most days–but Obi-Wan had night patrol tonight, so he only had to worry about the thousands of other potential Jedi who could or could not be wandering about the Temple at this hour.
He tapped out a message on his comm link, letting her know that he was on the way and would be there soon.
He walked from his personal quarters to the exit of his shared living space with Obi-Wan, anticipation and excitement at getting to see her quickening his pace and adding an admittedly childish bounce to his steps. Anakin raised his hand to open the door, crossing that final threshold–
“Going somewhere?”
Anakin almost fell to the floor.
“Master,” he exhaled, taking in the head that had appeared over the back of the couch. Obi-Wan’s eyes seemed to be glowing in the reflection of the midnight Coruscanti traffic lights. “I–I thought you had rotation tonight.”
“I traded with Master Mundi.”
“Oh,” said Anakin lamely. It seemed strange that Obi-Wan would give away the easiest shift at the Temple. Jedi only got rotated in about once a month what with the war starting and so many Jedi being off-world at once. Easy night patrol shifts didn’t come often.
Then, Anakin remembered that this conversation had started with a question.
A question he had no kriffing clue how to answer.
“Why are you sleeping out here?” Anakin parried, hoping his own question would make Obi-Wan forget his. He shifted away from the door.
“Oh, I’m afraid I haven’t gotten much sleep,” said Obi-Wan, running a tired hand across his face. “I was out here in hopes of catching you in the morning before you left.” 
Anakin noticed something indistinguishable briefly shift on his face.
“I ship out at 0600,” said Anakin with a regretful shrug, one foot already pointed back toward the door. He just needed Obi-Wan to go to his room. “But I’ll be back in a few rotations. It’s just a supply run.”
“Even so, I wanted to speak with you sooner rather than later.”
Anakin’s stomach dropped. 
Obi-Wan knew. He knew it all–the wedding, the Tuskens, everything.
“Today was...eventful for me,” continued Obi-Wan. “I wanted to run some things by you. Since you’re awake...I’d like to speak with you now, if it’s convenient.”
Convenient. What a funny word to say to a man who had just begun a secret marriage to the Senator of Naboo. Anakin wasn’t very familiar with things being convenient.
He glanced toward the door, thinking of his wife, waiting for him across the city. They hadn’t been married a full month yet, but midnight escapes to the Senatorial Residence had become the highlight of his day.
His gaze returned to Obi-Wan, who he realised looked a little out of sorts. His hair, normally groomed to perfection, looked as if it had had fingers ringing through it. His outer robe was tossed to the floor, instead of neatly folded or hung in his closet. Obi-Wan had a habit of losing his robes in battle, but never in their quarters. Anakin couldn’t think of a single time Obi-Wan had lost anything in their quarters that he was so adamant about keeping pristine.
“Of course,” said Anakin, his heart tightening. “We can talk now. I was just...going for a walk.”
“I’ll join you then,” said Obi-Wan, standing from the couch with a look of twisted relief and worry. That wasn’t like his master at all.
Anakin tapped out a quick message on the comm at his side and took a breath, hoping Padmé would understand. 
They walked the halls for several minutes before Obi-Wan finally broke the silence.
“The Council spoke with me today.”
That wasn’t abnormal. With the war and Obi-Wan’s quick work of proving his military leadership prowess, Anakin’s former master had found himself meeting with the Council almost every day.
“That’s where I was at lunch.”
Anakin quirked an eyebrow and snuck a sideways look at the older Jedi. Even when he was training Anakin, Obi-Wan had never felt the need to notify his Padawan of his every routine detail. Anakin tagged along when he was instructed to do so and when he wasn’t, he didn’t ask questions. That was that. 
It seemed weird that Obi-Wan would choose now to notify his former student of his whereabouts as if he owed Anakin any sort of explanation.
“All right,” said Anakin slowly. “I didn’t see you in the refectory, but it was no big deal. I was with Aayla anyway.” 
“Good,” Obi-Wan nodded. “Good.”
When Obi-Wan didn’t elaborate, Anakin continued to lead the way down the halls. They passed a few nocturnal Jedi, but the Temple had been silenter than usual lately, even during the day. One of the side effects of its members being strewn about the galaxy, trying to hold the pieces of the Republic together.
“When I was a Padawan,” Obi-Wan began again, his breathing shallow and short, “Qui-Gon was faced with a big decision and he...he never told me. Well, that’s not quite fair,” he amended quickly. “He did tell me, but it was after the Chancellor had accidentally informed me.”
Anakin didn’t have any idea where Obi-Wan was going with this, so he stayed silent.
“I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time, but I was...hurt. I felt like Qui-Gon’s choice to not tell me on his own was a reflection of his lack of faith in me. I now see that was foolish.” He shook his head and Anakin was surprised to feel a twinge of regret emanating from Obi-Wan’s Force presence. He’d never sensed that in Obi-Wan before. “But, even so.” Obi-Wan took a deep breath and Anakin felt the energy between them neutralise with a zap, as if there had never been any regret at all. “I don’t want you to feel that way.”
“Master, I don’t–I don’t understand.”
“Right,” Obi-Wan took another breath. “Well, you see...the thing is–” he cleared his throat. Clearly stalling.
“Obi-Wan.”
“I’ve been asked to fill Master Billaba’s seat.”
Anakin stopped walking. “What? The Council? They...they asked you to join?”
Obi-Wan couldn’t seem to make eye contact with Anakin. “They did.”
“Master!” Anakin’s face split into a grin. “That’s amazing!”
The older Jedi looked up, hesitantly. “It...is?”
“What do you mean it...is?” Anakin scrunched his face, throwing an arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulders. “Yes, it is! That’s such an incredible honour!”
“Well, I suppose I rather thought you...wouldn’t approve.”
Anakin startled at that. Wouldn’t approve? Sure, Anakin had held some small frustrations with the Council over the years, but being asked to fill a Council seat was the highest honour in the Jedi Order. Surely Obi-Wan didn’t think Anakin wouldn’t want that for him.
“I don’t see why my approval matters. It’s your life, Obi-Wan.”
A touch of pain jumped across their bond, surprising Anakin. “I care about your opinion, Anakin. Always.”
Anakin had never considered this before. His former Master had never done anything to lead Anakin to believe he didn’t value Anakin’s thoughts and opinions, but he supposed he had been so accustomed to not being heard when he had first begun his apprenticeship, he’d never taken the time to see how different that was with Obi-Wan.
Looking back now, he realised Obi-Wan was absolutely right. He had always shown concern and care for Anakin’s opinion.
“You accepted, right?”
“I haven’t made a decision. I wanted to speak with you first.”
Once again, Anakin felt like he was punched in the gut with the weight of consideration Obi-Wan was paying him. “But you’re going to say yes...right?”
“Anakin,” said Obi-Wan with a flicker of an exasperated smile. “What part of I’d like to hear your opinion on this matter has been unclear?”
The younger knight blinked. “Oh. I...well, Master–you’re...you’re the greatest Jedi I know. The Council would be infinitely better because of you.” Then, because Obi-Wan had let his guards down and was dishing out the affirmations tonight, “As I am.”
“I–oh. Thank you, Anakin.” He didn’t seem to know what to do with his former apprentice’s words, but his eyes shone with gratitude and warmth. He hesitated, chewing on his lip. “So you...truly believe I could do it?”
Anakin had to catch himself from chuckling as he realised just how painfully nervous and insecure Obi-Wan was. He’d never seen him like this before. 
It was comforting, seeing this unguarded humanity in his former master. 
“Yes, Master. I don’t know anyone who could do it better.”
“Thank you, my pad–Anakin.”
Anakin grinned. He’d struggled more than Obi-Wan with the recent adjustment of his rank in the Order. “You’re welcome, Mas–Obi-Wan.”
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and resumed their walk.
“Obi-Wan,” the younger Jedi called after him, his voice no longer teasing and light. Obi-Wan stopped and turned over his shoulder with raised eyebrows. “Thank you. For...caring about my opinion.”
Obi-Wan smiled, kindly, his eyes crinkling at their corners. “I am not as much fond of your opinion as I am fond of you, my friend.”
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whyiask · 4 years
Text
HAPPY NEW YEAR
There are so many people I’ve met on this site, so many friends I’ve made. I joined tumblr only a few months ago, but my life has already drastically improved. I smile more and laugh more and I feel happier all the time, knowing that you all are just a click away. I’ve often heard people refer to tumblr as a hellsite, but I don’t fully agree with that. True, some things on here are crazy, but more than that, I’ve found people like me. I’ve found people who understand me, who think like me and feel like I do. Ya know, before I joined tumblr, I had never met another bisexual person(crazy, right?). Y’all have made life more enjoyable and happier and brighter, and for that, I’ll never be able to thank you enough.
I have soooo many people I have to thank, so I’ll try to keep the list of people as short as possible: all my closest friends and all the people who have been amazing and I have loved seeing since I joined tumblr earlier this year <33
@one-neat-nerd you were the first blog to ever follow me, and I don’t remember if you were the first blog I followed, but you definitely were in the first 10. You were a wonderful introduction to tumblr, and I love everything you post/reblog. We’ve never really talked, but I still want you to know that I appreciate you.
@warblerjeff you’ve changed your url more than 3 times since I first followed you, and it always takes me a second to recognize you aha! But when I do, I’m immediately have a rush of happy memories- all your Glee posts and all of the Glee content I get from you. We’ve never really talked, but seeing you on my dash is always so amazing.
@jesussavedevenme aha hi! We’ve never really talked, but you were one of the first few blogs I followed when I first joined tumblr, and I know I tagged you in a lot of stuff at first (because i didn’t have any other friends lmao), so sorry about that! 😅 You’re really cool and I hope you have an amazing 2021.
@strawberry-seraph we haven’t talked in a while, sorry about that! Talking with you is always super fun, you’re a fun person and I hope your having a great day! You were one of the first TLC blogs I followed and you were definitely the first actual friend I had on tumblr. Thanks for being so nice to me <33
@cerenoya Ceren... where to begin. We haven’t talked a whole lot, but you are such an amazing friend and super kind when we do! You were my first tumblr idol for so long, because I aspired to be like you/run a blog as cool as yours!! Have a great 2021, you deserve it.
@cindersnightmare I felt very distant from you when I first followed you. You were just so COOL and your artwork was so GOOD, I didn’t know how to approach or even begin to express my love for your work. When you followed me back, I tell you, I was s h o o k. We’ve never talked, but I consider you a friend, is that okay? You’re amazing, keep being amazing <33
@books-and-starss oh gosh- I don’t even know where to begin with you! I love you so much, first of all!! So, so much. I love talking with you, you’re really sweet and ahhhh your writing is SO GOOD!!!! You are a great beta reader and so eager to help me- it just warms my heart that you would offer up your time to help me. Everything you reblog is so positive and encouraging and awesome, it’s so nice to see that kind of stuff on my dash. All the aesthetic pictures you reblog are super cool and pleasing to look at. I absolutely ADORE seeing you on my dash every day. <33333
@dylxn-lee aha hello there!! I first met you because you were one of Abi’s friends, but now I’m in your fanclub and ilysm. You’re really cool and nice and deserve to have a wonderful year <333
@theaberrantone ahaha for so long I pronounced your name wrong in my head- I just want you to know... I see you. I see you every day, liking every single one of my posts. I see you in my notifs many times a day and I just- wow. It means so much to me, I am honestly so touched that someone as cool as you takes the time to scroll through my mess of a blog and like the things I slap into it. You’re amazing and someday I aspire to be as cool as you <333333
@mochiowo-20 hi there :333 ilysm, and we haven’t talked for a few weeks, and I haven’t gone through your blog in a while, but I STILL LOVE YOU SO MUCH. You are amazing and ily. Your so sweet and cool and ahhhh you deserve to have the most wonderful 2021 ever. (i love your blog aesthetic btw) <333
@teawithhoneyharper I know you’re taking a break from tumblr for a while, but if you do see this, then I want you to know that I care about you so much. I love you Darcy, and you are amazing. I hope your mental health is getting better and I hope life has been better to you <33 ilysm, take care of yourself, and have a wonderful new year <333
@fablehavenfandom hi there friend!! Your posts are amazing!! I love your writing so much!!! and all your headcanons are beautiful and I 100% think of them as canon now. I hope you’re having a great day, and I hope you have a great year <33
@fairiesandstarlight omG your posts are all so cool! You’ve got a beautiful blog aesthetic and I love everything you post!! I hope you’re having a wonderful new year love <333 wishing you the best
@maya-livingstone hi there!! you’re a very, very new mutual, but I hope we’ll be able to get to know each other and become friends over the course of this new year!! I also just got the Renegades series, and I’ve noticed you like that, so hopefully we’ll be able to talk about that soon!!
@pluckycluckyducky hi plucky!! It’s Joy from the nevermoor server. we haven’t interacted on here very much, but you’re really cool and you should know it. have a wonderful 2021 <33
@fablehavenandfandomsfanatic hi there!! you had to break for a while, but you’re back now and I love all of the things you post! Have a great year <3
@fablehavenfangirl you’re really cool! Everything you post/reblog is great and I enjoy just scrolling through your blog when I’m bored. You’re amazing, keep being amazing <3
@renegadenebulahufflepuff heyyyy! how are you doing? you’re amazing, we haven’t talked much but you’re really cool and I am wishing you only the best for 2021 <333
@bookishfangirl14 hey there!! I love seeing you in my notifs!! we don’t have very many overlapping fandoms at the moment, but you’re still really cool and I love looking at your blog (even if i don’t understand most of the posts). aha, i hope you have a wonderful new year <33
@introvertedtater-tot hii! we don’t talk much, despite having a LOT of overlapping fandoms, and I don’t know why. Let’s fix that this year, shall we? I hope I can get to know you more, you’re amazing and sweet and i hope we can build up a solid friendship in the coming months <33
@devils-on-a-stereo oh my GOD. Okay, honestly? I am still s h o o k that you actually follow me, I mean, c’mon. Your art is literally the coolest thing ever, and I am honored to know you. You deserve way more attention as an artist than you have, and honest to god you are the coolest most  i c o n i c  blog I know. Stay awesome ;)
@its-liiinh-cinder-official heyyy there!! You are literally a top-notch comedian, I aDORE all of your ‘linh cinder’s random posts’. They are hilarious and your stories are hilarious, and you seem like such an amazing and chaotic person. I wish i knew you in real life, you would be so fun to hang out with. i love seeing you on my dash every day, and you’ve got such a v i b e going on. Have a beautiful, wondrous, and magical 2021 darling <333333
@just-another-freaking-dreamer it’s so awesome to see you in my notifs all the time. You’re really cool and you deserve cool things. Have a wonderful new year and I hope we can become better friends and interact more <3
@ragingbisexualcore ahhaahah you are the single most chaotic person I know. If you lived in a book, you would FOR SURE be that one character who is dead set on overthrowing the government and cackling madly as you take over the world. You are amazing and I hope you take your chaotic self and go wild in 2021.
@queenofsassgard hey there!! I hope you know that occasionally I just go scrolling through your archives and liking everything- anyways, you’re amazing and I hope you have a wonderful new year!
@elysian-starbucks-frappe heyo! what’s up? I hope you’re doing great, you deserve to do great. You’re super cool and amazing and ahhhhh you just deserve to have a wonderful 2021. ily and have a great year <33
@as-the-stars-foretold Caelum. You. Are. Fantabulous. You are my mother, you adopted me into this weird, chaotic friend group, and I will be eternally grateful. You love the stars and I love listening to you ramble about them in the server. You’re so passionate and strong and I love that about you. Life wouldn’t be the same without you. You might love stars, but you yourself ARE a star. You are a star, you shine brilliantly, and you are too good for this galaxy. We don’t deserve you. I love you so much, and you deserve every single goddamb good thing in this universe. You’re always there, ever present, and I love you so. much. Please stay your fantabulous self and I wishing on every star I see that you will have the best 2021 ever <333333
@carolinelikesdinner Carol. God, I have so much to say to you. First of all, thank you. Thank you so much for being you. You first introduced me into the big wide world of the Fablehaven fandom, and ilysm. You’re so cool, too cool for me, and I treasure every single conversation I have with you. You’re so funny and an amazing artist. All of your art is SO DAMB SPECTACULAR. You are gorgeous, your art is gorgeous, and your writing is gorgeous too. Take care of yourself love, stay safe, and have the best 2021 you possibly can <3333333333333
@operation-crown-jewels Caraaaaaaaaa ilysmmmm <3333333333333 I love talking with you and I love you so. freaking. much. I can’t even- I can’t even describe how much i love you. You are so special and sweet and supportive and I just can’t- you have NO IDEA how much that means to me, how much all your little comments mean to me. You are amazing, and special, and ahhhhh. You are SO special. So unique. And I’ll never find another friend like you <33333333333
@addies-invisible-life hey emma :3 You are actually the coolest person I know.You are so capable and smart and beautiful. You are kind and supportive and you are open to everyone who talks to you. You love with all your heart, and I love that about you. In everything you do, I can see the love behind it, the work and effort and love that you put into it. Every conversation I have with you lifts me up and energizes me(which is really rare because most conversations tire me). I still, after all this time, still can’t believe that a person as amazing as you even chooses to be friends with me. I love you so much and I will never stop loving you. You deserve the world, but I can’t give you that, so just take my reassurances that I will ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT, be here for you. ily and have a wonderful 2021 <3333333333333333333333333333333333333
@arushahisatroll my god. Ru, I love you so much. You are my internet girlfriend and I care about you so much. You are incredible, honestly. Your art is immaculate and you’re always so cheerful and fill me up with energy just THINKING about you. you always eager to commit arson, which is a very good trait, and I love plotting crimes with you. Every time I see your icon, my face lights up and I internally scream, bc “oh my god someone as perfect as ru exists in this world- i didn’t know that was possible.” You are the best, you are the absolute best, my bestie, and ily. Have a spectacular and immeasurably awesome 2021 <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
@starry-tea-party Abina. Abina you are my rock. You are my light, my star, my sunshine, my galaxy. I love you so much, I can’t even begin to describe it. I don’t know if I can do justice to just how much you’ve helped me. Words... words have never been my strong suit. I love writing because I can weave stories together, piece together words I like to form sentences, and use those sentences to form narratives. Writing has always been easier for me than talking.... because in writing, I don’t have to worry what others will think, or how others will perceive me. I select the best words, and I present those words- the words I meticulously chose and nit-picked- to the audience. Life is a stage, and I have never been great at improv. I often find it hard to tell people things, to convey my meaning in the best possible way and to know exactly what words I need in any given situation. Talking is hard for me. But with you... with you, I never have to monitor what I’m saying. I never feel the need to reread and reread my messages before sending to make sure everything is in perfect order. It’s... it’s easy to talk to you. It’s easy to speak and I don’t worry when I’m with you. You make me feel so at ease, and I love you so much. I don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing, because I know that you’ll always support me and be by my side with a kind word and a heart of gold. Because that’s who you are. You are a creator, a dreamer, a lover, a visionary. You’re a friend. You are the hand that pulls people out of the water. The light that shines the pathway. You are the rock- the mountain we stand upon and look out over the beautiful sea. We look down at the seas below us and say, “how have we climbed so high already?” The reason is because you stand so tall, so bright and so magical, that we climb, we climb and we look out at the world below us. Not only are you tall, strong, powerful, but you lift people up right alongside you. There is nothing like the high of seeing the world stretch out beneath your feet, swinging you legs through the open air but knowing you’ll never fall. You represent that high in my mind. You represent and you remind me of the exhilaration of feeling untouchable- uplifted by love and kindness, able to reach heights you’ve never been to before. There is so much that can come when someone extends their hand to you. So much more can be achieved when there are two, holding each other up. You have held me up for so long. Every since we met, you have brought a smile to my face at the thought of you. Every time I think of you, my heart swells and I can’t breathe. Every comment you make or put on something I post has me screaming internally ans smiling uncontrollably. Whenever I see your icon I know my day is about to get one million times better. So thank you, Abi. For being my rock.
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Secrets I Have Held In My Heart
A/N: Modern!AU, Soulmate!AU, Soul Mark!AU, Angst, OT3.
This is quite honestly one of the longest things I’ve ever done in one sitting. I am exhausted. My prose and tenses are probably everywhere and I am so sorry for it. Enjoy x
(Edit 20/1/2021) It has recently come to my attention that lies and slander have been spread about my character amongst persons in this OT3 community. They are malicious lies made with the intent to cast a shadow over my credibility and my good standing in this community. I only ask that you come talk to me first before you believe the horrible things that have been levelled about me.
Please take care of yourselves x
--
Booker smiles placidly when he catches Joe's eye from across the room and let's the pretenses drop the moment he ducks out into hallway, finding a spot of quiet from all the music and chatter of celebration in the living room. He really should be happy but as it is with heartbreaks, happiness is something you can only fake until it feels real.
He opens the door when the doorbell rings and kisses the cheeks of the latecomers in greeting. They awkwardly avoid his eye with shifty smiles as they shuffle past him. Booker doesn't blame them. It's an awkward fucking situation all around.
Joe's warm and happy laughter carries through the air, and Booker just feels his heart twist in his chest. The sight of his head of curls bobbing along in the joy of whatever joke one of their friends was making while his arm was slung intimately low around Nicky's waist was unbearable. Booker has enough self-respect in him to recognise it as jealousy.
He has been in love with his best friend for almost as long as he has known him. It had been ridiculously easy for them; Joe had no soul marks and neither had Booker, so it was the most natural thing to move in together after they'd both hit 33 and when Booker decided to offer his fine art restorer skills up to go freelance, they make plans to spend the rest of their lives together. It made sense and they were happy. Booker had had no intentions of ever letting Joe know how he had truly felt and that was the mistake.
It isn't that he dislikes Nicky. 
The man was beyond perfect and Booker could have never hoped to compare. From the briefest of familiarities, he knows that Nicky was a former theology student who left the seminary and is now deep in his work with a local NGO, well on his way to maybe working for the UN some day. He volunteers at a local shelter, helps at his church's soup kitchen, is handsome and funny, is a fucking Saint personified and looks great next to Joe when Booker looks like a twice drowned rat on his best day. It isn't that he hates the man. It's just that, well, Nicky isn't him.
Booker knew something had changed then. Joe had never looked at him the way he had when his and Nicky's eyes first met. And he knows Joe like he knows his own mind and there won't be any one as trusting or as kind. If he tells him he loves him, Joe would stay and he'd be Booker's, but that's not how love works and so he waits until the day they're both on the sofa watching a game and Joe turns to him to say, "Nicky's my soulmate."
Just like that. And because he could never hurt Joe, he smiles, nodding. "I figured he was. Congratulations man. That's amazing!"
There had been an indescribable look that crossed Joe's face when he said that but he hadn't lingered on it for too long. Joe's soul mark was on his left forearm set in stark, bold lines; a scimitar and a longsword threaded together with roses and thorns. Pretty cool and Booker made sure to tell him so.
That had been three months ago. Three months of waiting for the other shoe to drop, the inevitable moment when Joe says he's gonna move out and into Nicky's unit. For the second it hits his best friend that there really wasn't a place for someone like him in this equation. Two months of sitting around until he wraps up his current contract with the museum in the city and the curator takes him aside to ask him if he would be interested in working for a private collector in Turkey. Two years to work on a team of freelancers. Two years on the other side of the continent. Booker said yes with no hesitation.
"Hey, you good?"
Booker knocks his bottle of beer to Copley's. He is one of the newer persons to join their friend group but it feels like they've know each other for a very long time. His warm smile anchors Booker to the here and now and he is stupidly grateful for his presence. The man was steadfast and calm, and it made sense to Booker that he'd be the only one he told about his leaving. "Yeah. I'm ready to go whenever you are."
He'd snuck a duffle bag of his things out to Copley's house the day before and then two suitcases when Joe was over at Nicky's last night. Right before the party to celebrate Joe's birthday, he had brought his carry on out to Copley's car. His name was still on the lease and he has left instructions to help pay for his part of the rent until the end of the year if Joe would like to continue staying here. Copley will help ship the rest of his things after a month. All that's left to do is leave.
Joe had been looking forward to introducing Nicky to his family and friends, and this party was perfect for it. Booker feels bereft at the thought that this could be the last time he sees him in a long while and he cranes his neck to spy him in the center of the room, accepting a kiss from Nicky as the birthday cake is brought out from the kitchen. He holds that image of Joe, smiling from ear to ear and hopes he won't hate him too much for leaving without saying goodbye.
"Let's go."
--
His Turkish is passable at best but he gets by well enough. The rest of the restoration team were up and coming names mixed with pioneers in the field and despite the lingering heart ache, Booker finds himself pleasantly settled and happy with the work he gets to do. Everyone seems to be equally as excited as he is to be working on their employer's personal collection of paintings and sculptures, in addition to the rare books that Booker has never seen outside of museums and archives.
It's good work and it keeps him busy. It stops him from thinking about Joe too much.
Booker had found thirteen missed calls and twenty texts and ten voicemails when he lands. He hesitates only for a moment before deleting everything that wasn't from Copley or his work.
As if sensing he was being summoned by thought, his phone rings as he basks in the afternoon sunshine whilst reading a book on his off day, Copley's name flashes on his screen.
"You still alive, then?"
"Alive and kicking," Copley says over the line with a laugh. "I swear, Joe is going to eviscerate me one of these days."
Booker shakes his head, marking his page and setting his book aside. The sunlight feels good on his skin and he takes a deep lungful of air. "He won't. He's way too nice."
"You didn't see him glare when I packed the last of your things into the boxes. They're shipped, by the way. Should reach you in a week tops."
"Thanks. I owe you big time."
"Oh, you owe me more than big time. When I come over to visit, I want you pulling out all the stops for me. I want the five star experience, Mr Booker. No expense spared," Copley chuckles.
"Alright, alright," Booker laughs. "I'm sure I can rustle something up. Just let me know when, alright?"
Copley hums and they fall into a comfortable pause. "How are you? Really. Don't lie."
He tightens his grip on his phone, swallowing tightly. "I miss him every day but that's not new. I think I'll keep missing him for a while yet."
"That's normal. I'm not surprised. I think he misses you too, you know?"
"He has Nicky now. He doesn't need me. I'm... I'm just his best friend with a stupid crush that had made plans to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't fit in it any more and he deserves more than I could ever give him," He swallow tightly, licking his lips. "Copley, he'll be okay."
"But will you?"
Booker doesn't have an answer to that. When his things arrive a week and a half later, he accepts it and begins to unpack his books. He's grateful to have his familiar favourites and is eager to fill his shelves when he spots the edges of an envelope peeking out of a battered copy of Neruda. It was a letter and it was addressed to him, though the handwriting is unfamiliar to him.
Dear Sebastien, it starts and this clues him in that this person isn't someone who knows him well. No one outside of his employers and colleagues call him Sebastien.
I hope you don't mind. I'll be slipping this along with the books. I really do hope it finds you well. I don't have your number and judging by the way Joe seems to not receive a reply from you, you might have changed it. I would ask it from Copley but I do not know him well enough and you deserve someone you can speak to without any awkwardness. I write this letter because I want to know you better. It occurred to me that we have never exchanged more than a handful of words whenever we meet and it was always about Joe. I found myself curious about you even if it feels like I know you from all that Joe talks about you. He still talks about you. Even if it is in confusion as to why you left us. I don't write to judge you. I just want to be your friend. If you are amenable, please send your reply to me care of the address on the back of this paper. I hope that you do. I won't tell Joe if you don't want me to.
Sincerely, Nicky.
Booker flips the paper and sees that it's for the church he'd half-remembered being the one that Joe had mentioned off-handedly once. He rereads the words, thrown by the whole thing. He tucks it into his pocket, pushing it to the back of his mind as he focuses on unpacking his life. But the shape of it digs against his skin and he cannot help unfolding it every few minutes to read it all over again.
Each word was carefully pressed and written with intent. He finds his thumb brushing over the looping Joe, but it is the careful He still talks about you that decides things for him.
Scratching his chest absently, he tears out an empty page from his notebook as writes, If we're going to be friends, you'd better call me Booker.
--
The seasons change and his correspondence with Nicky grows from a weekly letter to every few days, to Booker posting a letter only to receive a reply for the one he sent two days ago when he arrives back in his flat. Booker takes to sending a box of baklava over an overnight service and Nicky sends him a handwritten recipe for his Nonna's tomato soup when Booker off-handedly mentions a sniffle.
Eventually it gets easier to talk about Joe and Booker tells Nicky on what he likes and what he doesn't, how to best care for him; he's allergic to a certain brand of detergent, he always forgets his scarf in the depths of winter so always stuff one in his coat pocket, he loves it when you caress his hair, he doesn't support any team in football but he loves watching a game and he always chooses the team that starts on the right side of the pitch, ask his mother for her recipe for lamb stew and make that for him when he's having a busy week.
Nicky never seems to be bothered by him telling him all these things and in turn, Booker learns that Nicky cannot function before his first cup of coffee, that he misses the quiet of his life in the seminary but he is glad he can do more as he is, that he has a few kids that he works with that he is hoping will get into gifted programmes that can help them excel in academia, that if he hadn't done the almost priest route, he would have been a doctor or a medic.
It was ridiculously effortless to be friends with Nicky and he finds himself actually looking forward to his letters and random bits and bobs in the mail. Sometimes Nicky sends Booker Joe’s sketches and he keeps them up on his bedside, keeping them in sight as he falls asleep at night. Other times there’s a picture or two, taken by Nicky, of Joe. Joe on the corner of the sofa, curled up and dozing, Joe eyes crinkling as he laughs at something. Joe with those ridiculous sunglasses they bought on a whim over a very wet Welsh afternoon.
As the first chill of the season sets in, Booker asks about Joe.
He's fine. Missing you. We're heading to his family's beach house. He said you both used to go together?
Booker finds that he can smile a little easier when the memories come or when it is brought up that Joe misses him. It still tastes a little bittersweet but he can be happy about how he had the chance to experience these things with Joe. Even if he hadn't been the one to keep having them. 
Yes. He writes, But you both can do this together now. Make sure you pack extra blankets for yourself. I'm sure you know that he hogs them.
Nicky replies with a box of Marks and Spencer Welsh Cakes which Booker thanks with an assortment of Turkish Delights. 
Their correspondence slows as the weather cools further. Copley, when he tells him about what’s happening over Skype, merely asks him if it i a good idea to be even putting himself in the same sphere as Joe and Nicky when he had moved across the continent just to get away from the heartbreak. 
“I don’t see how it couldn’t be,” Booker says over the sizzling of the butter as he makes the cheese toasties that Joe used to love for breakfasts. He scratches at his chest, eyes watching the way the cheese oozes off its side.
“Mate, I don’t think you’re far removed enough to actually know how catastrophic this could be.”
“O ye, of little faith,” Booker huffs, flipping the toastie. “At some point I would like to be able to exist in the same city as him without melting into a puddle of heartbreak. If being friends with his soulmate helps get me there, I’m all for it.”
“You are a masochist, Mr Booker.”
Booker laughs even as he burns his finger on the pan.
He works harder than ever, learning and improving his own techniques under the tutelage of his colleagues and can appreciate the opportunity. There's already talks of him going to New York after the New Year's to accompany some of the artifacts that are being lent out for display. Booker is climbing the stairs up to his building, head down, free hand rubbing at his chest and reading through the latest methods of restoration on his phone when he bumps into a person rushing down. 
“Oh, sorry--”
“Booker.”
Joe’s eyes are big and wide when their gazes meet. Booker blinks, breathes in deep before looking behind him to see Nicky watching them from his landing, exhaling shakily as he whispers, deep and with feeling, “What the fuck are you guys doing here?”
--
Nicky nurses his cup of tea from his lean against the window and deftly avoids the inquiring glare Booker keeps sending his way from the safety of the kitchen. Joe, on the other hand, is carefully prowling the space of his studio flat he has made home, obviously cataloguing the way his books sit on the shelf and the way he has kept the space marginally clean-ish, how there are pictures and sketches tacked to the wall behind the dining table, the clear signs of a life he has built here.
“Let me get this straight, you picked up Nicky’s mail from the church, saw my handwriting, and decided to come all the way to Turkey. Just to see me,” Booker says, gesturing at their backpacks leaning against his door. “Again, let me ask, why?”
“Why?” Joe laughs, throat clicking when the sound comes out rough and raw. “You ask me why I would fly out to Turkey in the middle of the holiday season just to see my best friend who left me without telling me he got a job in Turkey and was going to leave without even so much as a goodbye, and you are asking me why I would come all the way out here just to chase you down? Are you perhaps short of a marble!”
“And what was I supposed to do! Linger around you when I was dying every single time I looked at you and knew I wasn’t your soulmate? We were going to spend our lives together, Joe! I loved you!”
Booker slaps his hand over his mouth and turns away, focusing on his breathing. “You love me?” Joe says softly in the stillness of the flat.
“I did. I do and I’m sorry,” He sighs, feeling his chest shake with his trembling breath. He presses the heel of his hand to his sternum. “I do. And it’s okay, Joe. I know you don’t love me in that way. It’s okay. I just need some time away to figure out how to love you like you need me to.”
“And what do you know about what I need from you?”
Booker feels Joe come close and allows himself to be turned around to be face to face with him. “Do you know I love you too?”
“Yeah,” He chuckles wetly, rubbing his nose with the back a hand. “I’m your best friend.”
Nicky choose this moment to speak. “Booker, look at him and listen. It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you in our letters. “
There’s an insistence in Nicky’s gaze that galvanises Booker to turn to Joe and meet his eyes head on. “I love you, Book. I always did. I still do. Even after the bullshit you’ve put me through.”
“But Nicky--” “Nicky’s my soulmate and I love him too.” Joe smiles, eyes gone liquor soft when Nicky returns his fond look. “But I’ve loved you for the longest time, Book. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
The itch on his chest starts to burn.
“And you’re alright with this?” Booker breathlessly asks Nicky, taking a step back. “This- This whole Love, Actually thing is a situation you’re okay with?”
“Yes,” Nicky says, standing to cross the distance between them. Joe reaches for him then, tenderly touching him by the elbow while Nicky slides a hand to his cheeks and Booker feels immediately overwhelmed. He parts his mouth to speak when he doubles over dropping to his knees when the fire spreading over the skin on his chest sends him to his knees gasping for air. 
Joe keeps a hold on him while Nicky looks him over with clear worry. “Fuck!” Booker groans, trying to arch away. Clawing at his shirt, he tears at it until the buttons plink on the floor as they fall. For a moment, he does not register the dark lines that spread over his sternum. Running shaking fingers over his raw skin, Booker barely holds back the awed gasp at the scimitar and longsword twined together with thorns and roses. 
“Well,” Nicky laughs softly, cupping him by the side of the head, sweeping him into a gentle kiss. In that second that their lips touch, Booker feels his heartbeat skip a notch. “I guess this answers things, doesn’t it?”
-- Epilogue --
“That’s the last of the boxes.”
Joe kicks the door shut behind him, dropping the bags in his hands to the floor, ignoring the evil eye sent his way by Nicky who had warned them against scuffing up the hardwood floors. Booker throws himself onto the sofa with a sigh and Joe, grinning like a maniac, does a running start before launching himself onto Booker. 
“Oof!” And then after a beat and a wiggle. “Joe, you’re suffocating me and I can feel your dick against my ass.”
They’ve finally moved into their first home together. It had taken a bit more effort after Turkey to keep their fledgling relationship going but all’s well, ends well and Booker is back with them after finishing up his contract with glowing recommendations and growing his contact list. Joe was ridiculously proud and he knows Nicky feels the same too. 
They’ll need to work hard over the next two days to spruce the place up in time for their housewarming. Their friends and families will be here and Joe cannot wait to show off his loves. Wrapping his arms around Nicky and pulling him along back to the sofa where Booker is, he basks in the happy warmth of feeling whole with his heart in one piece.
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starbuckie · 4 years
Text
𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝
challenge: the cbc 1k writing challenge by @captainscanadian​
prompt: “do you treat all your hookups like this?”
pairing: carter baizen x reader
words: 4.7k words
warnings: fluff, angst, assault, swearing, some degrading comments, and implications of the sexy times 
summary: waling up next to one of New York’s most eligible bachelors brings on a lot more than what you expected.
a/n: what’s up y’all! i’ve essentially been dead for the past two weeks, but i’m back! i lost motivation for a bit, but i feel a lot better now, and what better way to come back then a little carter baizen? i ended up writing a lot more than originally intended, but i like the way it turned out. anyways, enjoy, and thank you for all of your support<3 
main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist
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As you awoke with a long stretch and yawn, memories of the previous night had you smiling like an idiot. Sunlight streamed from the half-closed blinds of your windows and the smell of coffee wafted to your room from the kitchen. You grabbed your lover’s dress shirt from off the floor and slipped a pair of satin slippers on your feet. 
The night before had been amazing. It had started with a beach reception when you had finally caught his eye. The two of you had been playing a game of cat and mouse during the whole wedding, only giving lustful stares and shy smiles, but when you finally had a hold of each other, your night only got better. The rest of the night had the sounds of only tearing clothes, pants, and moans. 
Snapping out of your sweet reverie, you stared at the man in your kitchen. His bare back was faced towards you, giving a great view of his shifting muscles while he made pancakes. A bowl of mixed berries were laid out on the table, along with strawberry syrup and mugs of Peruvian coffee. “Do you treat all of your hookups like this, Baizen?” 
Carter, finally noticing your presence, turned around and gave you a heartwarming smile. He flipped the last few pancakes over and walked over to wrap his arms around your waist. Burying his face into the crook of your neck, he mumbled, “Haha, cute joke. After everything we’ve been through babygirl, this was definitely not a hookup. And I only treat my favorite person like this, so eat up.” He gestured towards the food on the table and with a quick kiss to your lips, turned his attention back to the pancakes.
You sat in one of the chairs and took a sip of steaming coffee and looked out of the ceiling to floor windows surrounding the room. The New York City skyline would never get old from this view, no matter how long you and Carter had had this penthouse. Sighing, you looked down at your left hand, the sun casting light on the diamond on your fourth finger. 
You had been engaged for only six months, but it didn’t feel like anything new. At the age of 33, you didn’t feel any different than you did ten years before or even ten before that. Hell, you always knew that you would be Carter’s friend, but one drunken night had changed that very quickly.
As your fiance joined you at the table, he set a plate of warm pancakes in front of you. Sure, he could have had your housekeeper, Marybeth do it for him, but he also liked pampering you himself. Together, you sat in silence and stared out the windows. Carter tore his eyes away from the city to study your face. He would never understand how after twenty years of friendship, it ended with him finding his one love and putting a ring on your finger. 
“Hey, baby?” He asked, and you hummed and met his gaze. “How’d we even get here?”
You smirked and replied with, “Well, I walked from the bedroom, but I don’t know about you?”
“Don’t be cheeky,” he said, pinching your elbow. You swatted his hand away and smiled. “Anyway, what I meant to say before I was so rudely interrupted, was how did I end up with the most beautiful girl on the Upper East Side?”
“Well, if I recall, it started with me being fed up with your stupid ass, and you finally confessing that you had been madly in love with me since we were thirteen.”
“And I still am.” He moved towards you to place his lips on yours. “You’re mine now, baby.” You grinned against his lips and went to sit on his lap.
“Mr. Baizen, you’ve had me from the moment I laid eyes on you. With that cute little schoolboy outfit, and your hair! Oh god, remember-”
With a playful glare, he cut you off as you giggled. “We do not need to talk about my middle school style, fiancee, but I will gladly talk about when I fell in love with you.”
“That sounds good.” You smiled at each other and went back down memory lane, into your long, long, shared history.
20 YEARS EARLIER
Looking in the mirror, your maid had finished tailoring your school uniform. When she deemed you presentable she scurried out of the room to help your mother, and you immediately went to call your best friend.
“Carter, are you ready for our first day? We’re finally in eighth grade. Next year I’ll be headed off to Constance and you’ll be going to St. Judes, and there’s gonna be a whole ton of hot guys-”
Your friend’s chuckles were heard through the phone. “Y/N, we haven’t even begun the first day yet.”
“Yes, I know, but we’ll be one step closer to the best years of our lives!” Your mom’s voice called you from downstairs. Oh crap. Only the Lord knew that Andrea L/N did NOT want to be kept waiting. “Okay, my mom’s coming, but we’re coming to pick you up right now. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
“See ya soon, Y/N.” You smiled at his voice and responded.
“See ya soon, Baizen.” You hung up the phone and ran to your vanity. Making sure your mascara wasn’t smudged while you had dressed, you spritzed on the Chanel perfume you had stolen from your mother's room. Truth be told, you only dressed up for Carter, but you would never tell him that. 
His parents were two of New York’s socialites, famous and wealthy, so they got along well with your parents. Though your dad didn’t pay too much attention to you, your mother made sure you kept up with your grades and social life. She was always the shoulder to cry on, offering you wisdom and advice. Not to mention, but your mom was a fantastic shoe designer. She was truly the greatest woman you knew. The two of you grew up closely with his sister Caroline, from the time you were babies to now. Caroline had gone to a boarding school in France in the fifth grade, but that didn't tear your friendship, and only made it stronger. However, while you stay poised and polite, Carter had always had a bit of a bad boy streak. Albeit, he was charming and sweet, sometimes too much for his own good, but the two of you were opposites. Yin and yang. Sun and moon. At the age of thirteen he was the Upper East Side’s darling sweet-talker, who had girls and boys alike fawning over him. 
Including you.
You never realized when you had started developing feelings for your friend, but it was a huge shock to you. It helped that he was cute as hell, but you got to see the sweet side of him, that was respectful and caring. He always made sure you were comfortable and happy, giving you a small sliver of hope that he liked you back. You always helped him, whether it was being a wingwoman, or giving him schoolwork, you were always there at his beck and call. 
The next seven years were absolutely painful for you, however. In high school, he charmed the skirt off of every single girl at Constance, and constantly blew you off for hookups and dates. When he was cut off and went to travel the world, you called him to make sure he was okay, though he always seemed fine to you. You stuck with him through everything, and the more you went on, you barely knew the man who claimed to be your best friend. 
Dating Serena was the last straw. You were twenty-one, studying political science and business to hopefully one day become a lawyer. Your father had disapproved of your majors, but your mom fully supported you. 
Sighing and putting your textbook away, you stood up and went to put something on for the party you were invited to. Normally, you would have stayed in your NYU dorm, but Carter had miraculously managed to get you to leave, claiming you needed to meet his girlfriend, who you didn’t know at the time. You grumpily slipped on a champagne sequin dress, and grabbed your white stilettos to match. After hailing a cab, you were off to Blair Waldorf’s house, unknowingly driving to the end of you and Carter’s friendship.
You had to admit that the party wasn’t half bad. Blair certainly knew how to decorate, and it wasn’t hard to believe, considering her mother was the infamous designer, Eleanor Waldorf. You bumped into a lot of old classmates from your high school years, and grudgingly exchanged greetings. When you finally found Carter, he had his arm slipped around the waist of a pretty blonde, making your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. He turned around, and let out a smile that normally would have made you happy, but instead filled you with dread. 
“Y/N! You made it! This is Serena Van der Woodsen.” As you went in to hug your friend, you were stopped by none other than Serena's hand stuck out for you to shake. 
“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you, Y/N. I’ve heard so much about you.” You stared into her blue eyes, and were immediately filled with envy and irritation.
You had no right to be mad. You knew Carter could date whoever he wanted, but at this point you didn’t care. Exhausted, you started to yell at the couple.
“Really, Carter? You go off to travel some other goddamn countries and come back to date a high schooler? A child? Who the hell do you think you are?” The entire room went silent, all of their attention focused solely on the college girl who went crazy. Serena stared at you, absolutely dumbfounded. As she came to her senses and started to yell back, Carter stopped her.
“Y/N, let’s go outside,” he gritted out. His eyes were burning red, and you could tell he was furious, which was never a good thing.
However, at this point your emotions were so heightened that it rivaled his anger. Once the two of you were outside the building, he started lecturing you. “What the fuck was that, L/N? I introduce you to my girlfriend, and you start yelling at her. You have no control over who I date, and you have absolutely zero right to insult them. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
He knew he had hit a sore spot there. He knew your deepest insecurities, how you were self-conscious about your body, and how you were saving yourself for the one. No one had ever looked at you throughout high school, and even if they had, you would’ve been too blinded by Carter to see any of them. He had always had you wrapped around his finger.
You chuckled mirthlessly. “You are such an asshole, Baizen. I have been there for you for years. I was always there to make sure you had done your homework, I looked after you, I fucking lied for you. I have done everything for you, and for fucking what?”
“So you yell at my girlfriend? I never knew you could stoop so fucking low, Y/N.” He glared at you, on the verge of tears, and saw that your face was already wet as well. “Oh, poor you. Cries whenever someone raises their voice at them. You had no right to say those things about her. What are you, jealous?”
Your heart stopped beating in your chest. It was the longest five seconds of your life, as tears ran down your face in hot paths, and he stared at you, for once, not knowing what to say. 
“You are.” His gaze turned sympathetic. “Wait, Y/N, I never knew-”
“It doesn’t matter, Carter,” you yelled, “I don’t fucking care anymore. I’m not gonna go on loving you, because it’s never gonna happen and I can’t sit around to wait for you. I’m done.” With that, you left, his last memory of you stomping off into the streets of Manhattan at midnight. 
PRESENT
“That wasn’t my best moment exactly.” You cringed, face flaming from your actions that had taken place that night.
Carter placed his hand on your jaw and rubbed your cheekbone. “It wasn’t your fault, I was kind of an idiot. But in a way, I’m kind of grateful, because that really woke me up to what was happening outside of that little bubble I was in. It made me see what I had lost, and remember that it was you who finally saved me from the hole I was digging myself farther into. You were my hero. Still are.”
You grinned bashfully. “But then we ended up seeing each other two years later at that other party.”
“Oh god, the party,” he smirked, “we had some fun then, didn’t we?”
“I can’t remember, we were both drunk as fuck.” 
10 YEARS AGO
The last two years had changed you. You had still focused on school and kept up with your studies, but the old Y/N was no more. Carter Baizen had ruined your life, and now you were just getting a taste of what you had missed out on in high school. A barrier surrounded your heart, with the one rule of no man staying in your bed for more than a night. You had a reputation to uphold, of course. Every social event now had your name on the attending list, and guys were lining up at your feet for a night with you. Your hair was longer, the clothes you wore out flashier and your style rivaled that of Serena Van der Woodsen’s. You were unattainable and everyone knew your name.
Your father’s private jet flew in on the evening of December twentieth. Merula, your family’s maid, helped carry your bags from the jet and your mom greeted you with tons of hugs and kisses. However, that didn’t last very long, as you had a party to attend. Going up to your old room, you took a quick, yet luxurious bath, and went to fix yourself up. Your old closet was still intact, and you were happy to know that the short red dress you had bought five years before still fit you. After you slipped on the dress and your black heels, you curled your hair in loose waves, and swiped on some dark red lipstick.
You were dead set on getting laid tonight. But then again, when weren’t you?
With a goodnight call to your mom, you ran out to the limo waiting outside your family’s penthouse. Giving the driver the address, you pulled your compact mirror from your Valentino clutch. Flawless. Like any other night. Paying attention to your looks was now tiring. And this life was lonely. You hadn’t had any friends besides Carter at the beginning, but now you were truly by yourself.
Carter. You hadn’t thought about him in a long time. In your furious haze after the incident two years ago, you blocked him on all forms of social media, and ignored any headlines from Gossip Girl including his name. It was lonely, naturally, but you had enough men filling your bed to avoid you from the empty void in your chest. The void that was filled with whispers telling you to apologize, to call him, to take him back, because the truth was that you missed him like hell.
The party was full of college kids, neatly dressed in the chandelier-lit room. Ugh. So far you couldn’t see any lookers. A couple of guys who looked like they were in their late twenties were eyeing you up from the corner, and grabbing a flute of bubbly champagne, you headed in their direction, licking your lips. As you crossed the room, you could feel more eyes on you but you didn’t dare look at them. No, you liked being in charge, controlling the room. Heels clicking against the marble floor, you blatantly checked out the tall blonde in the middle. He was pretty handsome. Cropped hair, a muscular frame, and electric blue eyes that kind of reminded you of Carter. 
Stop thinking about him, go get laid.
You stopped in front of him. “Hey, pretty boy. Can I get your name?” 
He wasn’t even fazed by your flagrant introduction. You were absolutely shameless, and though you received glares from the other women in the room, you couldn’t have cared less. “I’m Steve. What’s your name, beautiful?”
You opened your mouth to speak and Steve’s eyes widened as he saw the figure that shouted out your name, abruptly stopping you. “Y/N?”
Freezing, you prayed that it wasn’t him. His voice that haunted you daily, and made guilt and sadness pool in your gut. It had to have been your imagination. You started again. “Sorry, but I’m-”
“Y/N.” Turning around, you came face to face, well, face to chest with Carter Baizen. He had grown taller since you had last seen him. Even with the noticeably darker bags under his eyes and growing hair, he was still as gorgeous as ever. 
“Hey, Carter.” Steve had walked away by then, not wanting to intrude, but at that moment, he was the only person you needed. Heart beating in your chest, you finally met Carter’s eyes. “How are you?”
His mouth was gaping a little, taking in your form, seeing that it was so much different than it used to be. “I’m good.” Pausing for a moment, he added, “You look great.”
A blush rose to your cheeks and you managed to mumble out, “Thanks.”
“Can we talk?” 
That’s how you ended up outside on an empty balcony overlooking Manhattan. Taxis and honking were heard, but it was fainter due to blood rushing in your ears. 
He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. “Carter, before you say anything, I want to let you know that I’m sorry. I really am. Last time we saw each other, I knew what I did was wrong, and though I was in love with you, I had no right to be upset.” Sighing, you placed your hand in his. “Can we be good again? I really hate how we left things off.”
Silently, he nodded his head, eyes wide and subtly taking you in again. The last two years hadn’t been kind to him, after Serena dumped his sorry ass, and he ended up with no money and nowhere to run to. His mom had allowed him to stay in the family house for a while, and his father was even giving him a second chance at running the company, but it wasn’t easy for him. He was slowly spiraling down, and only when he saw you did he wake up and take a look at himself properly. He looked like a piece of garbage next to you. He hadn’t even gone to school, and here you were, even more beautiful, which he never thought was possible, and a successful law student at Harvard.
“We’re good, Y/N. I brought you out here for another reason though.” He paused and looked at you as you nodded for him to continue. “It’s been a few years, I know, and I shouldn’t be saying this now, but I miss you so much. These past few years have made me realize how much of a fool I am for you, but God, I’m in love with you, Y/N, I always have been.”
You stood up, anger coursing through your veins. Now? When it’s most convenient for him? No. You needed to get drunk. “I’m sorry Carter, but I fell out of love with you one hell of a long time ago.” Swallowing the lump rising in your throat, you continued your lie. “You made your decision, I made mine. I wanted to be friends, Carter, but I can’t have that laying around us.”
Stomping away, you heard the crestfallen voice of Carter. “Y/N, wait, please.” He stumbled his way over to you, and caught your hand again before you ripped it away. “Please, Y/N, please, I’m in love with you. I’m sorry I was such an ass, I was so stupid, please.”
Tears fell from your eyes as you shook your head. “I need a drink.” 
He numbly nodded as you made your way back inside, asking one of the servers for a gin. You needed to get drunk. It was a necessity at this point, and as you got more and more tipsy through the night, you found your way back with Steve. By now the party had started to get crazier, people making out in corners and drunkenly stumbling everywhere. Steve held you up as you grinded against him, but stopped when you felt his hand go up your dress. 
“No, no thank you,” you slurred.
He smirked, giving you a steely glare. “You’re asking for it with this slutty little dress and winding me up.” He forcibly grabbed your wrists and started to drag you to a bedroom. “I own you tonight, baby.”
Before you could scream, someone came over and punched Steve in the jaw. You were speechless, staring at his already bruising face. Once again, you were being pulled away, only this time, out of the party. The person dragged you back to your place, and your drunken mind asked, “You wanna come in?” 
Without another word, the two of you were attached by the mouth, clothes being thrown haphazardly around your room. Earlier events from the evening wiped from your memories, and you could have only hoped that your parents weren’t home. Falling into your bed, you and your unknown lover tore up the bedsheets for several hours until you both drunkenly passed out.
When you woke up the next morning, you looked up. You silently thanked yourself for closing your windows before you had left the other night, and only then realized you were cold, naked, and in your own room. 
“What the fuck.” You whispered to yourself. Throwing on a robe from your closet, you looked around seeing the scattered clothes from you and whoever you had spent your night with. They were still here.
You flew down the stairs at a record-breaking speed, and slid into the kitchen, risky business style, and saw a familiar head of brown hair sitting at the table. “What the fuck, Baizen?”
Carter calmly turned around, smiling as he blew into his coffee. “Damn, Y/N, good morning to you too.”
Scoffing, you grabbed the newspaper he held in his hands and started to whack him with it. “Ow, what the hell?” He grabbed your wrists to calm you, then pulled out a chair next to him for you to sit. Reluctantly, you sat and frowned at him, raising an eyebrow to ask what happened. “Do you treat all your hookups like this?”
“Did we…” You didn’t even want to finish that sentence.
“Sleep together piss-drunk after you told me you didn’t love me back after two years? Yes, we most certainly did, beautiful.” Though your face burned red at the old pet name, you asked for what had happened. “Well, the asshole you were dancing with tried to get you in bed, but I came over and punched him, while we were both still drunk, and I got you back here, and you offered me to come inside and we fucked.”
Your eyes were comically wide, and he would have found the situation really funny if his heart weren’t beating erratically inside his chest as he awaited your full reaction. “So,” you started, “you're still in love with me.”
He tried not to let his embarrassment show, but his cheeks flamed anyway. You smiled genuinely, but you were terrified of whether he meant it or not. “Do you mean it, Carter?”
You stared into the depths of his eyes and he answered, “Yes. I’m so sorry that I was a horrible, horrible friend to you, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. And I know you already expressed how you felt about me, and let me say, I understand completely. If you want me to, I’ll walk out of that door right now, and you won’t have to see me again. But if you let me stay , I’ll spend every waking moment of my life making sure you feel happy and loved, and making it up to you.”
He stared at you with pleading eyes, and held your hands gently. Suddenly, stinging tears obstructed your vision, and you whimpered. “I love you, Car,” you gave him a watery smile, “never stopped.”
His eyes started to tear up as well, and smiling you finally pressed your lips to his, taking in the moment. The past few years had been torturous for you both, dealing with the loneliness and pain from your broken friendship, but slowly and surely you two built trust. It took a long time, and you took the relationship slowly, but patience was key, and it was all worth it in the end.
PRESENT
“And now we’re here?” You asked. Carter combed his hand through your hair, the soothing action making you rest your head on his shoulder.
“And now we’re here.” He glanced down at you, smiling and pecking your lips.
“Damn, we had one dramatic-ass story.” He chuckled at that and sighed.
“We sure did, baby. But hey, look at us. We’re on top of the world right now. We have a wedding in a few months, you don’t have any cases, and I have the most beautiful girl in the world in my arms right now.”
You smiled against his neck. “Hey, Car?” He hummed against your hair, looking out the window. The sun had fully risen, making the room glow. “I know we haven’t had this discussion in a while, but are we ready to have kids?” His brow furrowed, but he said nothing. “Car?”
“I mean, sure, we’re both doing so well right now, and we could raise a kid here, right? We’ve got an empty bedroom right across from ours, and we’ve got plenty of space here. I think with the combination of me and you, we’d have a pretty great kid. They’d definitely have my eyes though.” 
“They better have your eyes.” You looked up at him. “So pretty.”
He chuckled and kissed your forehead. “The wedding’s coming up pretty soon though, so we can start trying after that.” You laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Before we get too old.”
You smirked and rolled your eyes. “We’re thirty-three, Carter, we aren’t that old.”
He laughed and said, “I guess you’re right.” Heart beating in your chest, you sighed loudly. “What brought this on?”
You cupped his cheek and took a deep breath. When you had taken the test a week before you had been elated, only to freak out after realizing Carter might not feel the same. But you had been okay for ten years, right? When the two of you had finally gotten together, it did take a lot to find that balance in your relationship, but hell, you were getting married in a few months. Carter was your best friend, number one supporter, and fiance, so you prayed that he would be just as excited. 
“Carter, I’m pregnant.” Looking at him dead in the eye, you hoped that he would be happy. You awaited his reaction for a few seconds, and you wanted to scream in anticipation.
And then you saw it. 
His eyes started to water, and his hands moved to your stomach. ”Really?” He asked, voice wavering. You nodded, eyes beginning to tear up as well.
“We’re having a baby, Mr. Baizen.” You laughed joyfully, as he picked you up by your waist and you wrapped your legs around him. Hands found their way around his neck as he pulled you in for a kiss. 
Tears poured from his eyes, as he laughed. “I love you so, so, much, baby.” Hiding your face in his neck, you giggled some more. “God, we’re having a kid. I swear on my life, I’ll do everything to make sure you and this baby are happy for the rest of our lives.”
And he did. Not such a bad hookup after all, now was it?
246 notes · View notes
kerikaaria · 4 years
Text
If I Never Met You: Chapter 32
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(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader
Genre: (PG13) Fluff, some angst
WC: 2.2k
Warnings: None
Series Masterlist
Chapter 31 | Chapter 32 | Chapter 33
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“Y/n noona, your phone is going off again,” Jungkook called from across the room.
“Is someone calling me?” you asked, too occupied at the moment to be able to check yourself.
“No, it looks like text messages,” Jungkook replied. “From your English-speaking friends.”
“I guarantee you that’s Jackson spamming me then,” you said, shaking your head.
“Wouldn’t doubt it,” Namjoon chimed in. “He was just texting me, telling me how he watched the showcase and how cool we are and stuff.”
You finished helping the other staff and walked over to Jungkook, who handed you your phone. You checked your messages while you had a moment to spare.
Jackson: (Y/n) (Y/n)! (Y/NNNNN)!!!! YO NOONA ANSWER ME 😡
Eric: Omg Jackson, I’m pretty sure she’s kinda busy 🙄
Jackson: They’re done with the show though, Namjoon even texted me!
Amber: Dude, that doesn’t mean you should spam the chat 🤣
Jackson: BUT BTS WAS SO AWESOME 😎 (Y/N) THEY WERE AMAZING! NOONAAAAAAAAAAA
Me: OMG I told you not to call me that. But yes, I’m fully aware that they’re awesome and cool and amazing.
Jackson: But you are my noona though
Me: We talk in English. It’s weird! 🤨
Peniel: Noona, why are you being so mean?
Me: Omg not you too… Eric, why did you introduce me to these bozos?
Eric: Hey, last I checked you liked these so-called bozos.
Kevin: Just admit you love us, (Y/n) 🥰
Me: You? Yes. Amber? Definitely. Eric? Sometimes. Jackson and Peniel? Debatable.
Amber: Awwww, I love you too! ❤😘
Kevin: (Y/n)’s Favorites Club application: accepted! 😇
Peniel: I give you my love and this what I get in return? I am offended. 😭
Eric: SOMETIMES?! 😤 Excuse you, who was it who brought you these amazing friends? And if my memory serves me correctly, you couldn’t stop gushing about how much you love my music when we met. 
You shook your head, putting your phone away to focus on getting everyone ready to leave. Going to turn around, you got startled at Jungkook standing extremely close to you.
“I wish I understood English so I could tell what you were talking about,” he said.
“Why do you want to know about my private conversations?” you asked as you started gathering your things.
“Because,” the maknae replied, shrugging.
You shot him an unamused look. “’Because’ isn’t an answer. Stop being nosy,” you added teasingly.
Everyone finished getting everything packed up and ready to go and piled into the van, Sejin driving today.
Checking the group chat again once you were all settled in, you weren’t surprised to see that the conversation kept going on for quite a while. You scrolled through to read until the most recent messages.
Kevin: I watched the showcase, too. They really were awesome! Man, I can’t believe I’m going to be missing them on ASC again. 😔
Eric: Sucks to be you~ 😝
Peniel: Okay, but when am I going to get to meet them?
Jackson: Aren’t Sungjae and V buddies? You could ask him for help.
Peniel: Nah, dude. The kid keeps his friends from us as if we’d hurt them or something.
Me: I mean, I’m not entirely sure you WON’T. I know if I was him, I’d be scared of Changsub or Eunkwang embarrassing me to death in front of my friends.
Peniel: I mean… You’re not wrong. Those hyungs are… 🤔 interesting. 
Amber: I think we gotta meet (Y/n) first! We still haven’t been able to meet up!
Me: Sorry, can’t help that we’ve been so busy ☹ We had a lot to prepare for their comeback when we got back to Korea.
Kevin: It’s okay, we understand!
Eric: Yeah. Didn’t you say something about some people quitting and you and the other manager needing to pick up some of the work they did?
Me: Ugh. Don’t remind me… The company has few enough employees as it is, that really did a number on us. Especially after us hardly being in the country for two months.
Jackson: Dude, that’s tough. But I know you can do it, noona! 🤩
Peniel: Noona, fighting! 🤗
Me: OMG STOP WITH THE NOONA THING.
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You sat in your desk chair, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of you. You already finished everything you needed to handle today while Sejin and the boys were at a small fan meet. To be honest, you had finished an hour ago but had nothing else to do and so you just sat there, doing practically nothing.
I really need a life, you thought, realizing how bored you were without work to do or the boys around. You opened your phone, looking at the text you sent to the group chat with your other friends, but they must all be busy because no one had replied yet.
Turning to social media, you opened twitter to take a look at what the shipping fans had come up with for you today. You may get on Jin’s case about looking this stuff up, but to be honest you found it quite amusing yourself – which was also a big reason why he kept teasing you about it. He knew you didn’t actually hate it.
Looking through, you saw fans recently examined a still of Hobi with you in it from a Bangtan Bomb, and then a picture of me standing next to Namjoon when you were heading to a schedule.
But it looked like today, the popular ship was with him. You’d been trying to chalk things up to just the fact that you felt at ease with him. You’d been conveniently ignoring the times your heart skipped a beat when he looked at you with his smile, the times you felt heat rush to your cheeks when he hugged you without even thinking about it. But looking at this picture, it was one of those moments when you couldn’t find it in yourself to ignore what those things really meant.
A fan somehow managed to catch a very clear picture of the two of you, smiling at each other and looking really happy (no wonder why it was the popular opinion today). For a little bit, just a few moments, you let yourself believe that what these fans were saying could actually be true. That it wasn’t hopeless for you to have these strong feelings, that maybe it wasn’t impossible for him to feel these things too.
You shook your head to rid yourself of the thoughts quickly. There were so many things wrong with it. He wasn’t just someone you knew or your friend, he was your coworker. And he was an “idol.” It didn’t matter if Bang PD didn’t have anything against them having relationships, or even relationships between his employees, because you were on two completely different levels. It just cold never happen.
Pulling your head out of the daydream, you felt myself feeling sad looking at the picture now. It represented things you could only dream of. Yet, you still couldn’t stop yourself from saving the picture to your phone.
You just barely locked your screen when the door to the office opened and Sejin walked in with Jungkook. “Oh, you guys are back?” you asked.
“Yup, everything went well,” Sejin answered. “How about here? Anything I need to help with?
“Nope, I got everything done,” you replied. “Where are the other boys?”
“The hyungs are all at home,” Jungkook said. “I missed a vocal lesson earlier this week so I am going to that now.”
“Oh, okay. Are you going home after?” you asked.
“Yeah, I don’t have anything else to do other than that,” he said.
“Alright, I’ll wait for you so we can go home together,” you smiled.
“Oh wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you got everything done,” Sejin said. He had been double checking through everything that needed scheduled or checked through to make sure you hadn’t missed anything while you and Jungkook talked. “Thank you, I know the workload has been a bit intense lately.”
“It’s no problem,” you waved him off. “Now that we have the majority of their schedules in place for this comeback it’s not as bad as it was at first.” You stood up and walked over to Jungkook. “I’ll walk with you to your lesson. I could use a change of scenery. See you, oppa!”
After Jungkook’s vocal lesson, you walked out of the company together, both of you wearing masks. After the debacle with your personal pictures with the boys being shared with the fans, you were almost just as recognized by the fans as they were.
While you definitely weren’t treated the same (as in fans squealing and wanting attention from you), you still had to be careful when you were around them. He may be difficult to recognize with a mask, but if a fan recognized you they would most likely assume that the person you were with was one of the boys, and that was exactly what you didn’t want.
“Can we stop by the park before going home today,” Jungkook asked as you walked down the street. “I could use the fresh air and alone time.”
“Yeah, that’s no problem. It’ll be nice after being inside all day,” you replied. “But if you want alone time I could just go home.”
“No, you can stay,” he assured me. “I meant quiet time more than alone.”
“Alright, sounds good,” you said as you approached the nearby park. You walked in silence until Jungkook found a spot he liked and veered off the path to sit down in the grass.
This park was rather small, just a small nature reprieve among the city streets. It was simple with mostly trees and one little flower garden, but it was plenty when you needed to relax a bit.
The two of you sat, just listening to the leaves rustling in the wind for a while. It was Jungkook who broke the silence first.
“Noona?” he asked, almost in a whisper as if he was worried about bursting the bubble created around us.
“Yes, Kookie?” you asked just as quietly.
“Are you still happy you decided to stay working with us?” He stared at his hands sitting in his lap.
“What do you mean?” you tried to look at his face, hoping he’d look up and meet your gaze. “Why are you asking that?”
“It’s just,” he paused, sighing and laying down on the grass to look at the tree branches instead. “People can be really unfair, you know? You had all that trouble with Haewon last year, and now there are fans that are really harsh on you too.”
You knew the hate comments toward you existed, but generally they were far and few between and really easy to ignore so you paid them no mind. You were more concerned about hate directed toward the boys than yourself. “What’s bringing this on, Kookie? Did something happen?”
“I’m glad you weren’t at the meet today. It was really hard to hold back with some of the stuff we heard.”
You leaned back on your elbow to get a little closer to him before saying, “I thought Sejin said the meet went well?”
“It did, for the most part. We ignored the comments and made sure not to make a scene out of anything so it technically went fine. But noona, these fans didn’t know who was with us today. What if you were? It just… it wasn’t right, what they said.”
“Kookie, don’t let it get to you. Some of your fans just genuinely don’t like me, but that’s okay. Others may be jealous because they wish they could be as close to you as I am. And some of them take out that jealousy in anger. That’s okay, too. I don’t let it bother me and you shouldn’t pay any mind to it either, okay? And to answer your first question, yes. I’m still happy. I don’t regret anything I’ve done, especially when it comes to you guys.”
“Really? You’re really okay with all of that?”
“Yes. If that’s the price I need to pay in order to have you all in my life? That is more than worth it.” You lay down next to him, staring up at the same trees. “To be honest, I sometimes wonder where I would be, what I’d be doing if I hadn’t stayed. Or even if I didn’t apply for the job in the first place, if I hadn’t been lucky enough to meet Jin or maybe if I never came to Korea. There’s no way for me to know, but I can’t imagine that I’d be as happy as I am now. You guys mean the world to me and I feel so, so lucky to be able to call myself your friend.”
You turned to look at him, finding his gaze had already fallen on you. While his mask covered most of his face, you could tell from his eyes that he was smiling, and you smiled in return. “All I know is, I have no idea where I would be if I never met you guys, and I don’t want to know. If I were given the choice again, I would always pick to be here with you. Always.”
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Series Masterlist
Chapter 31 | Chapter 32 | Chapter 33
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honeyymistt · 3 years
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[1/2] hey, okay, it's me again. i feel like i'm treating you like an unpaid therapist but idk where to share this and how to get help (this is kinda lengthy, and i do apologise for that)
i think i'm running out of patience for myself on how to live with myself; all my favourite artists and fictional characters experience this same hollow loneliness but they just— keep going..... despite it all. i'm trying to keep busy with studying but that quickly led to an all-nighter and now i can't fall asleep despite my exhaustion. i think the goals i've had in mind for myself are too high, so i'm just going to spend the next week reading without shame or guilt and try to finally start learning russian. i don't really take care of my physical fitness bc i'm always tired and i feel like all my energy is spent on keeping in check with eating and taking care of my physical hygiene. i have so much time each day and yet at the end of the day i still feel like i did nothing even though i read and studied a lot. i just feel like i'm stagnated, still in my 16-year-old teenage mind bc i spent my youth numbing myself bc i couldn't stand my own thoughts. i havent talked to anyone really, besides my famil, in weeks, and i know loneliness is a common feeling most of us carry with us, but since i'm not very smart and don't know about a lot of things that matter, like history and art, i just feel so inadequate because all these people i look up to, and secretly aspire to be, are fundamentally different from me. they have rich inner lives even in times of despair, they know how to build their own lives in the rubble and just keep on going despite it all. i just feel like a shell of a human being (dramatic i know). i'm also aware that i'm highly privileged and don't have to worry about money and housing, etc. and i'm grateful for that but despite that I just hate myself and I wish I could be someone else and change; I've tried to over the past years but i never make any actual changes in my life? I don't want to die per se, I just don't want to keep on living like this.
[2/2] also, with the looming climate desaster and our world being ruled by capitalism i know a lot of worries and problems stem from that;;;; also i've had this very embarrassing conversation with my family a month ago; i was very drunk and ofc started talking about capitalism, etc. and lgbtq rights. they're very conservative, smart and well-read and i'm just the complete opposite— my point being, bc i feel so desperately lonely i'm trying to have these conversations with the people around me that are obviously only really meant to be had with close pals and not with 60 year olds who only care about the bootstrap theory etc. anyway my grandmother called me out on my bs and said "so what have you done in your life so far?" nothing. i shouldn't complain about other people, politics etc. and the patriarchal, white supremacist strucures around us bc i've never worked a day in my life...... it's just. i know she's right. but like i literally don't know how to hold conversations anymore and can never recall stuff i read accurately so i'm just talking shit the whole time. i'm so desperately trying to get their approval but i'm just not well-read and smart enough. i know being dumb is not the worst thing to be, i'm alive and living in a well-situated area, but it's the only thing i used to define myself with. my parents expected a lot of us as children and i couldn't deliver. so i pretty much forced them to stop pressuring me but i wish they did now. bc then i would be smart, worldly and have a bright future. i'm sorry for the long rambling. i also don't want to ruin your feed by my long asks...... anyway, if you have any advice i would be so glad to hear it. bc i feel like i'm going slightly insane. -💌 sorry for doing this <33 🤠 feel free to just delete this;;;
hi 💌-anon!!!
don't feel bad for sending this in. your long post is going to have a long answer and it ruining my feed is literally the last thing on my mind. if it bothers people, that's on them ;) similarly to the last ask you sent in, i kind of just pulled out a few things that you wrote and decided to give my perspective on it. i hope that reading some of my (very scrambled) thoughts will relax your mind and heart just a little bit. everything will be okay, i promise.
so the first thing that stood out to me was when you mentioned how all of your favorite fictional characters just keep on going when they feel lonely and i know how frustrating that can be because it's so glorified. they just keep going and then boom! things are better, right? i want you to remember that this is fiction and not an accurate representation of how hard the feeling of loneliness actually hits. so try not to compare yourself to your favorite character and beat yourself up if you're not dealing with loneliness as well as they did because everything in fiction is better and easier.
as for feeling exhausted because of the goals you've made for yourself, i know what you mean. i'm such a perfectionist and workaholic (i suffered from such bad burn out this year). i'm learning how to lower them as well. it's good to be ambitious. it's amazing to have big dreams and goals but you have to prepare yourself for setbacks and failure. so from now on, it's decided that you and me, are going to be accountability buddies. no more unrealistic goals and deadlines. i will hold you accountable, you will hold me accountable and we'll improve together 🤍
so you don't know about things like history and art and you claim that these are things that matter. but matter to who? are you genuinely intrigued by these things? if you are, then study it. read about it. ask questions. but if they just matter to your family, then i really don't think you need to know about these things extensively. it's always good to know things generally but if you aren't interested, then don't waste your time learning about it just to please others.
i could be completely wrong, but from what i understood from your message, you feel really lonely and you're starting to feel a bit stuck. you're surrounded by people who are different from you and that sometimes makes you feel suffocated because the conversations you want to have aren't wanted by others. the first thing i noticed in your message is that you repeatedly call yourself stupid or dumb. you need to stop that, okay? if you keep telling that to yourself, it will destroy a lot of opportunities for you. trust me, i know. you will turn down opportunities thinking that you're not smart enough for it but it's not true. you don't need to be smart to have a bright future. you can be creative, you can athletic, you can be selfless, you can be funny. maybe you just need to embrace who you are and trust that you will have a bright future by just being you. i'll tell you something: you don't need to be exactly like your family to have their success. you need a determination and a good work ethic. where do you start? stop underselling your intelligence. believe in yourself!!!
P.S i can tell that you're smart because your vocabulary is out of this world!!! and oh my god, can we talk about your punctuation? like bestie, you're ahead of the game. i also had to google what the bootstrap theory is. you are smarter than you give yourself credit for!!
another thing i would encourage you to do is to avoid "deep" conversations with your family. if your family is very conservative, there are going to be certain topics that they just won't understand and it might make you frustrated or feel misunderstood; it might make you feel more lonely. i would advise you to just stick to more lighthearted conversations with them. it's not that you don't know how to hold conversations, it's just that the people you're talking to aren't the right listeners.
my sweet 💌-anon, times like these are normal! we all feel lonely at times and i know it's tough and it's frustrating and you feel like nothing in your life is going to work out but i promise you, it will. the universe has it's way of doing that. if i could, i would give you the chance to see yourself the way i see you - full of potential, warm-hearted, and so so deserving of a good life filled with love, caring people and success. times are tough, but so are you. you haven't made it this far to only come this far!! remember that i'm here for you every step of the way and you can message me any time you need to. i will never delete it or ignore you. i love talking to you <3
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