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oatmilk-vampire · 11 months ago

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Tomorrow's Loss: Chapter 1

Book Summary: All Tom wanted to do was study with his friend, but then his crush of four years shows up unannounced and urges them to evacuate for an unknown reason. After they are on the road, they learn they are escaping a dangerous bloodborne pathogen that is turning those infected violent and cannibalistic, all with a disturbing smile on their face. Tom soon finds himself on the way to play a tragic game of house with his best friend, his crush, a married couple and their dog. Tom hopes the CDC is right when they say they willl get it all under control soon. However, as days pass with no sign of respite, they become painfully aware that help will not be on the way after all. When Tom's group begins to lose members to the virus and gains one additional, they are all stuck trying to adapt and survive in this new world. After nearly a year, the group is forced to venture out further for food and other supplies, finding other survivors who only want to harm them more than the Smilers do. But when Tom is saved by one stranger, it opens his world to the possibility of community and actually living instead of just surviving.

A/n: I can only share 10% of my novel, so here's the first 5%.:) Read end note for links and coupons.

I dance to the speakers pumping music in my dorm. Sound waves of instruments I have no interest in ever learning how to play echo and bounce off of the thin walls. I know my neighbors would complain if they ever actually spent any time at home. The opening verse to Modern Baseball’s “Re-Do” rings out as I pull clothes from my closet. I’m getting ready to meet with my best friend Tim so we can hold each other accountable for actually getting work done instead of getting trapped into an endless scroll on Instagram, Facebook or God forbid TikTok. As I make the ultimate decision between two shirts, I hear something that doesn’t quite sound like it’s part of the song.

I hesitate, waiting to see if Tim will unlock the door and come in but when he doesn’t I resume the task of throwing on my red heather. As I pop my head through the neckhole, I hear someone calling my name. Weird. It kind of sounds like… I freeze my movements.

Could it really be him? It’s been since my birthday in March that he last visited. Any doubt in my mind is quickly extinguished when, by some miracle, I clearly hear the pounding on my door over Brendan Lukens’ voice.

I jump and yank my pants up over my hips before scrambling to the source of the noise. I give myself a once-over in the mirror before unlocking the door and swinging it open.

There Mark stands, a fist still raised ready to assault my poor door again. He lowers it and barks out something I never expected to hear from his mouth.

“Grab your shit let’s go.”

“Mark!” I almost fall backwards, definitely not expecting to actually see him. But there he is, the biggest crush I’ve ever had – standing right before me. “What are you doing here?”

“Grab. Your. Shit. Let’s go!” Taking charge, he pushes past me and begins pulling out all of my dresser drawers, shoveling socks, shirts and pairs of underwear into the backpack that he just carelessly dumped my very important schoolwork out of.

“Hey!” I shout, surprise quickly getting replaced by frustration. “Mark, what the hell? Stop! My papers are getting all over the place. I did a lot of research on those!” I drop to my knees to try to gather them into their respective stacks before they get too disorganized.

“You always do research!” He retorts as if it justifies his actions. He moves to the closet and starts pulling out my jeans. I notice he’s pointedly ignoring the dressier clothes, instead opting for my more practical wear such as jackets and sweaters instead. He turns to me once he seems satisfied with his haul.

“Where’s Tim?”

I’m taken aback. Why would he be asking about him? What’s he doing here destroying our room anyway?

“At the library. I was just about to meet him there. Why? Mark, what’s going on? You’re acting like someone accidentally killed John Wick’s dog.” I try a smile and a reference to the first movie we watched together to snap him out of whatever has a hold on him. I know we have plans to see number four when it finally hits theaters, but to my great disappointment he completely ignores my efforts.

“Jake and Tash are meetin’ us at the cabin. I’ll explain later. Is there anythin’ else you need?” He pauses. “Your prescriptions!”

He turns to rummage through my bedside table where he knows I keep my pills, but he also happens to find some other things that I really wish he hadn’t.

Mark slows his movements just long enough to toss the condoms and lube into the bag too. “Gotta still be safe, I guess. Safety first. That’s a priority.”

I can feel my face turning beet red and I’m ready to just close in on myself.

Then Mark is right back in front of me snapping his fingers in my face.

“Hey, look. I know you weren’t expectin’ to see me, and I know it definitely wasn’t the reunion you wanted. Hell, it’s not the reunion I wanted either, but we really need to go. We need to find Tim and you need to decide if there is anythin’ else you want or need.”

But I just can’t comprehend what’s going on here, and how could I? Mark is giving me virtually zero information to go on.

“How long are we going to be gone? Can I turn in my papers first? I’m kind of at my deadline. I might need to ask for a leave of absence if it’s going to be long.”

“They’ll understand about the papers, and if not, I’ll make them understand. I don’t know how long.”

“Is someone in trouble? Are we going on the lam?” I look around the room in all its small and crowded glory. My eyes fall to my plush canid collection beside my bed.

“Can I take them?”

Mark follows where I’m pointing and sees the many plushies that he’s personally gifted me over the years.

“Yeah, yeah. If it’ll make you feel better and get your ass movin’, grab ‘em.”

After I safely pack them away with the rest of my deemed essentials, Mark takes hold of the bags and moves them closer to the door.

“Call Tim. Tell him to meet us somewhere close. We need to go. I’ll get his shit for him too.”

In a matter of minutes the two of us are sitting safely in Mark’s backseat but I still don’t feel ready to let out the breath it feels like I’ve been holding. Not until we get to where we’re going and I learn what we’re running from.

“You two lovebirds start callin’ your friends and loved ones and tell ‘em to get to safety.” Mark looks in his rearview mirror at us. “We don’t have any room for ‘em to ride with us, but we can at least give a heads up since the government is failin’ us yet again.”

“Lorelei is in Florida. Will she be okay?” Tim questions, and I wonder if he feels guilty over not insisting on spending their mini-break together. In his defense, she did say she would be happier just going alone. Girl time, she called it.

“Uhh… Yeah, yeah. That’s far enough. Still get in touch to be sure. Let her know not to come back for now.” He instructs, but I don’t know if I really believe him. His eyes are all shifty and I don’t miss the way Mark’s hands clench around the wheel. It’s way worse than what he’s letting on. Mark doesn’t get this freaked out over just anything.

“Okay… Can we please know what’s going on now?” I finally speak up, daring Mark to dodge any more of my questions.

He spares me another glance in the rearview mirror.

“There’s a virus.”

A groan. “Oh, great! Just what we needed. How serious is it? Like covid?” Tim complains as he rubs his forehead.

“I still wear masks, it’s not all that bad. I’ll also get the vaccine when it’s out. Whatever it takes to keep the world going.” I easily concede, not at all ready to go through another pandemic, especially when this one isn’t really over.

“It’s not like covid.” Mark shakes his head. “It’s not in the lungs.”

“Then how is it transmitted?” I look at Tim just in time to see him narrow his eyes, definitely not liking the sound of this. Neither do I.

“Blood. They’re sayin’ it’s a bloodborne pathogen.”

“So what, like hepatitis or HIV? A glorified STD?” I inquire, holding my African wild dog plush close for comfort. “As long as we don’t come in contact with bodily fluids we’re fine right? Why do we need to leave?”

I know I’ll be fine, at least. Although, I’m not too sure about the other two men in the SUV. The perks of being sexually inactive, I guess.

“It’s not that simple.” Mark sighs, and I notice his hands tighten on the steering wheel once more; he must have loosened them at some point.

Maybe we should discuss this later, I don’t want us to get in a wreck and end up needing a blood transfusion on top of everything else…

Wait…

“Can we try blood transfusions? Could that make a difference? Would it purify it?” I glance at the pre-med student beside me for his input.

“Possibly. But at this time it’s still new and unlikely and would take studying and human trials and–”

“Alright, enough!” Mark startles the both of us with his booming voice, commanding us into silence. “It has somethin’ to do with blood under the nails. Think about that. Quietly please.”

“Subungual hematomas?” Tim exchanges looks with me, likely making sure he heard correctly.

“Quietly please.” Mark reiterates.

For the next half hour, the drive is mostly in silence, save for the occasional cough or sneeze and “bless you” that follows.

I take the liberty of counting out just how many pills I have when –oh no– I should have picked up my prescriptions yesterday. I only have about a five-day supply here, give or take – and that’s only because I haven’t taken today’s doses yet since I usually like to just choke them all down at once before going to sleep. This is bad.

It shouldn’t be too long, right? I should be able to make it on a solid four-day ration… Right?

Don’t be stupid, Tom.

I glance at Tim, my roommate and friend of three years. I’ve never had a friendship last that long, other than Mark if you consider him a friend. Then that relationship would be four years.

Next I hazard a glance back at the driver, seeing him in deep concentration. How would Mark know about this? I haven’t even heard about it on the news. Then again, I don’t really watch a lot of news anyway. It’s not good for my mental health. But being in college, kids talk. A lot. No one has mentioned this.

I feel my anxiety budding, and I squeeze my plush even tighter even though it makes me feel childish. I wonder if I should just pop the anxiety pill right now.

When I look out of my window nothing seems out of order or unusual. Everyone seems completely fine. Happy even. No one even looks irritated, they’re all smiling. I offer my own smile to the world.

Maybe it isn’t all that bad.

I even catch sight of an officer pushing a shopping cart, a baby strapped into a carrier on his chest. A smile plastered on his face too. It strikes me as a bit odd, wouldn’t a cop usually change out of uniform before running personal errands? Keep work life and home life separate, and all that.

I can’t imagine what he could have been exposed to on the job, and what he was now exposing his child to.

I shouldn’t think too hard about it.

Once we get about forty-five minutes away from our college, Mark pulls off into a gas station. He gets out, leaving his window down and begins pumping. I catch him looking back and forth towards the store.

“Mark? What’s wrong?”

“Kinda wanna stock up on some smokes. Just in case it’s a good time to pick up a bad habit.” He admits with a careless shrug, but I can tell it’s just a front.

“Want me to go get them?” I offer with a hand already on the door handle.

“No.” A firm shake of his head. “Safer out here.”

“Want me to pump and you go get them?”

No answer.

I waste no time exiting and walking around the trunk to take the pump from his hand, “I got this. Go ahead.”

“Can you and Tim fill up the cans in the back after you’re done with the car?”

“Sure.” I easily agree, ready to get back on the road to supposed safety as soon as possible.

“Hey, Tim! Get your ass out the car, if I’m leavin’ one of you out here defenseless you’re both gonna be out here. Protect each other. I’ll be right back.” Mark stalks off when he sees him nod and unbuckle his seatbelt.

“Well, this has been weird.” Tim gets himself situated standing beside me, prompting me to take the perfect opportunity to start my rambling.

“We still don’t know what this virus is doing, if it kills people, if they’re working on a cure, just how sick we’ll get, how many of us are infected, what we’re going to do in the meantime, why cigarettes and condoms are so important–”

“Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. It’s okay. I know this is stressful but everything is going to be fine. We trust Mark and Jake, right? The thing I’m most concerned about is the condoms you mentioned.” He smirks, knowing it would throw me off.

“And lube.” I would have covered my face in embarrassment if my hands weren’t currently occupied and covered in only God knows how many germs. What if I have any open wounds on my hands? Maybe we should have grabbed disposable gloves too. I study the box of disposable gloves next to the pump that nearly no one uses.

“Oh, God, why? Did Mark say who it’s for?”

“Well, not really. He was in my drawer getting my meds and…”

“Oh, no! Your condoms and lube? That’s so embarrassing!” He emphasizes certain words to get a rise out of me. He knows he succeeded when my face burns a deeper shade of red than it previously was.

“Stop! Shut up! God, I hate you.” I look down in an attempt to hide my smile, but quickly look back towards the store. What is taking so long?

Just then a stumbling woman approaches us.

“Hi, any chance you can spare a hand sanitizer?”

We exchange wary looks.

I don’t think hand sanitizer will benefit us too much, and she seems really polite with a big toothy grin.

“Sure, I don’t see why not.” I easily agree but stop short when I notice the gas cans still surrounding me. “Uhh…”

“Don’t worry, Tommy. I got it.” Tim offers, leaving me to the task at hand.

I smile at him, “Thanks.”

Tim leaves me alone with the strange woman, but thankfully he’s only gone for a moment. He quickly pulls himself back out of the car with his own personal travel bottle just in enough time to see how engrossed she is with staring me down.

“Here you go, ma’am.” He reaches out to her, but she snatches his hand in a death grip, digging her pinkie nail into him with alarming pressure before taking the hand sanitizer and walking away without another word.

It all happens so fast neither one of us can react, but the shock must still be evident on our faces when Mark makes it back to the car.

He looks at the machine and hums at the price, not seeming at all bothered that the cost is in triple digits. I know he doesn’t have money like that. None of us do.

He eyes the both of us, taking note of whatever our expressions show. Does he notice Tim cradling his wrist?

“Y’all okay? Look like you’ve seen a ghost or somethin’.”

“Or something.” Tim frowns, highly unusual for his usually chipper self. “Can we just get back on the road now?”

“Yeah, y’all hungry? I got a ton of snacks while I was waitin’ in line.”

“No thanks.” We answer simultaneously.

“Alright, more for later then. I am gonna say choose what you want, though. First pick.”

“Fine.” Tim opens the door, getting back into the car.

“Jeez, what’s his problem? Trouble in paradise?”

I just look at him.

After we’re all seated and buckled up, Mark tries again.

“Is it something I said?” He puts the vehicle in reverse and pulls out.

“More like what you didn’t say. What exactly is going on here? You can’t just say there’s a BBP causing subungual hematomas and leave it at that. That makes no sense.” Tim forces through clenched teeth.

I observe my best friend press his wrist down against his leg.

A deep breath.

“Okay, look. It is bloodborne. So you can get it pretty much anyway you can get any other virus like that, I’m assumin’. But for some reason the easiest way to catch it is through the nails.”

“Somethin’ happens, a blood clot forms under the fingernails which wouldn’t be such a big deal except for some reason the infected nails are really brittle, so a simple scratch can be way more devastatin’ than usual and pass the infection faster than a class of kindergartners in flu season.”

Tim furrows his brows. “So, like an iron deficiency?”

“What do you mean?” Mark asks cluelessly.

“Iron deficiencies make your nails dry and brittle. Break easy. If it’s being transmitted through the blood, maybe that has something to do with it.”

Mark seems to think carefully for a moment. “If it’s really severe could it cause extreme cravin’s?” He actually takes his eyes off of the road for this one

“Well, it can. I’ve read before that whatever your body is craving is a sign of what your body is missing. But, iron deficiency or anemia causes pica. Pica makes you have weird cravings like ice, clay, dirt, paper, chalk, etcetera.” Tim clarifies. “Stuff that isn’t really food or good for you.”

“How the hell do two kids know this and not the WHO?” He pitches his voice low in an attempt to say it under his breath, but we hear him anyway.

“Excuse me? The WHO? It’s worldwide? Just what are we dealing with exactly?” Tim narrows his eyes once more, fully suspicious that Mark was indeed hiding the worst of it; I know because I feel the same way.

Uncomfortable with the sudden tension, I look out of my window to spot more people than I’m used to seeing out and about, all smiling. Except, there’s something about these smiles that don’t sit right with me anymore.

“Look, I told y’all everythin’ I know. Tell that girl Lori she–” He gets cut off.

“It’s Lorelei.” Tim corrects with anger in his voice.

“Tell Lorelei she needs to stay where she is and take shelter. Stay safe.”

“Why? What is so bad about this? Are we going to die?” Tim demands, his raised voice making me flinch.

“I dunno! Fuck! It’s bad, alright? The ones infected are turning on the uninfected. Turning on their Goddamn loved ones for chrissake! All with that stupid fuckin’ smile on their faces.”

He gulps a breath before continuing his explanation.

“You can’t trust any of them. They won’t remember you. It takes over. They have bad blood runnin’ through those brains now. They’re violent. They get vicious cravin’s.”

“What cravings?” I speak up for the first time since this conversation began.

A beat of silence as Mark considers his next words. My heart feels like it’s slamming into my ribcage, its rapid beating the only noise I can hear.

“You’ve told us this much.” I invoke. “Might as well keep on.”

Mark meets my eyes in the mirror.

“Meat, blood, life. I dunno what it is they’re after. As long as it’s human.”

It’s at this point that my entire world stops.

Then it rapidly slams back into movement.

Tim is freaking out. Lorelei isn’t picking up the phone, so he’s desperately trying to explain it all to her in texts. I just sit here, glued to my seat. Hands frozen. I can’t call anyone even if I had others to call.

“How long?” Tim’s strained voice snaps my attention to him.

“How long what?” Mark’s vision remains locked on the road.

We’re an hour and a half away from college now; from the life I don’t know if I’ll ever have again.

Tim carries on, “How long until you become one of them after being exposed?”

“I dunno. Like an hour or two? Depends on your size I guess. Why?”

“Does anyone know of a cure yet?”

“No, half the world doesn’t even know it’s goin’ on, and the other half doesn’t know what’s goin’ on.”

Tim is directly behind Mark, so he misses when Tim reveals his wound to me. What should have been a tiny scratch was now a gaping hole, spreading and branching out over his entire wrist. His blood is flowing at an alarming rate. I see bits of what I can only assume is remnants of the woman’s nail stuck inside of my friend’s skin.

He meets my eyes.

I feel like I’m going to be sick.

We both know it. This is goodbye – something Tim never liked to say even on spring breaks and holidays away. Goodbye implies there wouldn’t be another hello. It was the end.

I force myself to swallow the lump in my throat, fighting past the feeling that I can’t breathe. I imagine Tim feels much worse.

“Mark?” My voice wavers, the distraught immediately catching his attention.

“What’s wrong, Tomorrow?”

I wince at the nickname, one I always secretly loved just feels all sorts of wrong now. It isn’t fair.

“Did you bring oven mitts or something?

“Oven mitts– What?”

“Or something to cover hands with? Please?”

The desperation in my voice makes looking back completely unnecessary for Mark. He already knows the answer.

When he sees the dark crimson mess spilling onto Tim’s clothes and the blank look on his face, he snaps into action. He pulls off of the road and presses on the hazards. He wastes no time jumping out of his seat and yanking the door open to get my infected friend out.

Tim follows him out without a single complaint, just uses his good hand to toss his phone to me, who decides also exiting the vehicle is definitely a good idea and not at all a bad one.

I will never forget how Tim’s eyes appear distorted and out of focus, until a single tear slips down his face as he fades away.

Now he isn’t Tim anymore. Any trace of his consciousness long gone.

He is one of them.

He smiles.

~~~

Interested in getting the full book? Check your library or check out my (incomplete) universal book link for some of your options.

I have a 50% off coupon on Smashwords exclusively for my TumblrFam. The code is VN67N

Still not sure? Stay tuned for chapter 2.

Thanks for reading!

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entishramblings · 4 years ago

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It’s Not That Bad [Legolas X Reader]

A.N: I’m so sorry I have not been writing as often. I’ve had zero time. But anyWaYS...here is a fic that has been requested by someone who has always been into my writing so thank you for supporting me and here is a fic for you! Additionally, I did some research on herbs and stuff so I could make this at least a little accurate!

Request: @quilledinkpen — Hellooo i hope you're having a good day ^-^ I was wondering if I could request a Legolas x reader? Something like she's travelling with the fellowship and is kinda the unspoken "mom" of the group, like she's always doing her best to make sure everyone's safe, and reminding Pippin and Merry to be careful and stuff like that. Just an all-around motherly person lol (mainly to the Hobbits bc they're her babies but she looks after the other guys too) I think it'd be cute ^^ Thank you!

Pairing: Legolas X Reader

Summary: (Y/N), a healer, travels with the fellowship. She takes care of everyone and is basically “the mom friend.”

Word Count: 2, 510

Warnings: battle wounds that are kinda graphicish?

(gif not mine)

MASTERLIST

(Y/N) was a well known healer throughout all of Arda. Many traveled to her for treatment for life threatening ailments. But now, now it was her time to travel throughout the lands of Middle Earth in search of a salvation for all. A gruesome quest to destroy the evil ring of power had begun and someone well versed in natural apothecary was needed. (Y/N), of course, volunteered for this role for there was no one better suited than her. Besides, it was her duty to contribute to the survival of this world as she was one in it and relied heavily on what the earth produced. And if Sauron was to rule.....well, we all know where that would lead: no earth, no life, just darkness.

(Y/N) ruffled through her dark-brown leather satchel as she sifted through her healing herbs. Little pouches filled with athelas leaves, echinacea stalks, alder bark, valerian roots, and more piled inside the confinements of the fabric.

“Sam,” She called out. “Would you mind making hot tea for Frodo while I take care of Strider’s cut?”

The little hobbit ran over instantly and she passed him a couple pouches naming each one out loud, “Valerian root, dried chamomile pedals, and sycamore bark.” She then lowered her voice and leaned it, for it wasn’t anyone else’s business to hear. “It will help him sleep and deter the anxieties the ring bestows upon him.”

Sam nodded quickly and set to work as (Y/N) moved towards Aragorn who sat upon a large rock.

“Let me have a look.”

The dunedain rolled his eyes, “(Y/N), it is not that bad. Just a scratch.”

The young women sighed in annoyance and pulled up his sleeve to reveal a slash across his bicep. He was right—to an extent—it wasn’t terrible. He would not need stitches. However, it did need to be cleaned and wrapped for infections were nasty things.

(Y/N) started by pouring some alcohol over the wound; receiving a harsh hiss from the dunedain in response. She muttered a quick apology before continuing. The young woman ground athelas leaves into a fine paste and expertly smeared it onto the cut. She then unrolled gauze and placed it upon the wound. Lastly, she pulled white dressings from her satchel. She gingerly wrapped it around his arm, yet she was careful to still pull it taught as the goal was to keep the athelas paste in and bacteria out.

She stood up and brushed her hands off before placing them firmly on her hips. “See Strider, it takes only a couple minute.”

He grumbled at her comment but thanked her for the medical attention.

(Y/N) nodded quickly and went to check on the rest of the fellowship. She made her way to Boromir who was also sitting in rest. She put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Boromir, how are you doing? Any wounds?”

He seemed slightly startled at first for his mind had been elsewhere, but he looked up at her with a soft smile.

“I’m quite alright, My Lady.”

A light chuckled escaped her lips. “My friend, how many times must I tell you? It’s (Y/N), no lady of any sorts!”

He shook his head and grinned at her, “Well, my lady, I am doing quite fine.”

She let her eyes circle into the back of her head as the corner of her lip pulled into a smirk.

The healer turned and made her way to Gimli who was sharpening his axe.

“Gimli, I trust you are alright as I see you are already preparing for the next battle even though we just endured one.”

His gruff voice answered immediately, “Aye lassie! Those orcs can’t ensnare a dwarf that easily!!”

She laughed at his comment as Merry and Pippin came rushing up to her. As soon as she saw their faces she knew that the two mischievous hobbits wanted to claim her attention. She lowered herself down to their height as they flung themselves into her arms.

“Ahh my two hobbits! How did you fare in the battle?”

They pulled from her hug and began speaking at the same time.

“It was intensely scary but we were fierce!”

“Merry had hit one with a tree branch! It was quite magnificent!”

“Yes it was, I would have to admit! And Pip tripped another and he fell flat on his face!”

(Y/N) beamed at the two and giggled at their attempt to tell the story. As much as she was focused on caring for everyone, the hobbits cared for her—in another way that is. The four of them brought joy to her heart and glee to her spirit. Their innocence and appreciation of the simplest things brought happiness to her soul. They had offered her a welcomed visit to the shire at any time; telling her of the grand tour they would take her on. She had grown to look upon them as children for their smallness and way of perceiving life was similar so.

The two scampered off quickly, most likely to share their adrenaline filled story with Boromir, while (Y/N) did a final scan of the fellowship.

Her eyes soon rested on the elf. Legolas was off to a distance standing upon the rocky tundra. Something about his posture made her frown. His back was to her and his head seemed bowed, as if he was looking down at something. Furthermore, his one arm was pulled up at an awkward angle—strange, even for the elf. As the healer that she was, she was compelled to check on him.

(Y/N) weaved through the rocks until she was only a short distance from him.

“Legolas?” She questioned softly.

He immediately whipped around. His shirt fell to cover his form, but not before (Y/N) caught a glimpse of bright purple, red, and black. The young woman’s lips instantly parted in shock. She had seen many wounds in her life, on many people of many different races. However, it was not often that she had an elven patient with a wound like that. To state it simply, (Y/N) was worried—that looked bad, very bad. Legolas on the other hand was only flustered for he, an elf, had gotten snuck up on. He did not have great concern for the injury given that there were far more important things to worry about.

“Legolas,” (Y/N) stated firmly. “Lift your shirt.”

He sighed, “(Y/N), it’s not—“

She interrupted him, “Let me guess, ‘It’s not that bad?’” She shook her head, “You and Strider.”

She stepped forward and took the hem of his shirt in her hand. She cautiously lifted the fabric, not caring about the socially deemed scandalousness of the action—she was a healer after all.

(Y/N) sucked in a breath. A relatively large bruise stretched across his torso with a sizable cut in the center of it.

“By the Valar, Legolas!” She exclaimed with exasperation. “You should have come to me straight away!”

“(YN)—“

She cut him off again, “No. don’t ‘(Y/N)’ me. This is serious. It could be internal bleeding. I don’t care that you are an immortal elf, you can still die from this.”

The healer gently let her fingertips brush against his skin, tracing and examining the injury. He winced in pain at the contact and that did not escape (Y/N)’s attention.

“How did this happen exactly? I need every detail.”

Legolas groaned again when she grazed over the cut; and when he spoke it was with heavy breaths, “A harsh kick to the side into another orc....” (Y/N) hand pressed on the bleeding laceration and he hissed in pain before continuing to speak. “...who—who slashed downward.....with a jagged-edged blade that had a—a curved tip.

(Y/N) looked up at him with concern, his breathing was getting labored and that was not a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

“Alright, come on.” She ordered. The young woman practically dragged the reluctant elf back towards the group and pushed him down on a rock.

She knelt in front of him and, once again, ruffled through her satchel.

“Take your tunic off,” she commanded while pulling out various pouches and gauze dressings.

(Y/N) could feel all of the fellowships’ gazes on the two, which only intensified when Legolas removed his tunic. She could hear the hobbit’s hushed whispers and concerned tones for the wound was gruesome and ugly—probably the worst they have ever seen considering their simple lives.

Once she had all her supplies ready, she set to work.

(Y/N) was kneeling in-between Legolas’s legs while she studied the torn up, bloody, and bruised fresh for yet another time; it was imperative that she made a plan before starting.

During this examination, the young woman could not help but let her eyes wander across his chest and rippling muscles. The bends and curves of his form looked perfect against his pale complexion. He was incredibly toned and well built, even more so than humans. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t attracted to him.

Additionally, battle scars of various shapes and sizes littered his body—which was expected given he was over 2,000 years old. Here, she took a moment to study them for if one really looked at a warriors scars their fighting style would be revealed. Many stretched across his being—specifically on his ribcage, sides, pecs, and abs—it was clear that he was way more reckless than he would like people to think. He was fast with his moves, going for the quickest way to an oppenent’s death, but that often left him exposed. No wonder he ended up with this terrible bruising gash. He lived up to the Mirkwood elf expectation—less wise and more fierce.

As (Y/N) realized that her mind had wandered too far off task, she cleared her throat and reached for the flask of liquor.

“This will sting,” she stated before pouring it over the broken flesh. As expected, a loud groan escaped his lips and his fists clenched around nothingness.

Carefully she dabbed the area with a cloth. (Y/N) then threaded a needle and began to sew his skin back together. The elf was stiff as he clenched his jaw and flexed his muscles—a natural reflex in this kind of situation. She continued to pull his skin taught so their was no more breakthrough bleeding. It seemed that he had gotten used to the sensation as she went given he began to relax. Next, she made a paste for the wound, much like Strider’s. However, she decided to use more than athelas leaves because this cut was more severe than the Ranger’s. (Y/N) ground up echinacea stalks and mixed in alder bark to soothe inflammation and fight infection. Gently she applied the blended mixture into his torso. Lastly, she wound gauze and dressings around his midsection in order to keep everything in place.

Much time had past given stitches took long; luckily, the fellowships’ concerned glances faded.

(Y/N) stood up from her position and it was then when she released just how close the two were. She stood between his legs, their faces inches apart. If it was anyone else, she wouldn’t have cared for she often had to be in such proximities with others as she was a healer. But this wasn’t anyone else, it was him.

“You—you should be fine now,” (Y/N) whispered. She cleared her throat and stepped backwards. “I will have to check on it every day and redo the bandages. And I advise you: no sudden movements, and no lifting heavy objects—like the hobbits.”

Legolas cracked a smile at that last comment. “Thank you, (Y/N). I truly appreciate your skill.”

“That is what I’m here for, is it not?” She adverted her eyes and kept her hands busy by gathering her supplies for she feared her expression would betray her.

Legolas put his tunic back on as he spoke, “I suppose it is, but nethertheless I thank you.”

......

As the days went on she continued to check Legolas’s wound. (Y/N) tried to make it more private by dragging him off to the side or away from the group, given that she suspected it was uncomfortable for him to undress everyday in front of inquiring eyes (aka the hobbits).

It was dusk when she crouched down to examine it once again.

“It is healing nicely,” She said. “A lot faster than I suspected, but I suppose that is because you are elven.” Her nervousness caused her to continue speaking when she did not wish to do so. “I mainly treat men....and dwarves. It is not often that I have a wounded elf at my door. Do you know an elf named Feren? I recall he said he was of Mirkwood Kin. I treated him once years ago for a busted leg when he strayed into northern territories.”

A small smirk crossed Legolas’s face, “Ahh so you are the beautiful healer who patched him up so well?”

(Y/N) felt heat creep up her face, “I—I would not say that—“

“Nonsense! He spoke of your beauty and skill many times, and he was not mistaken. I am just surprised that I have been lucky enough to gaze upon you and have you heal me.”

These words made (Y/N)’s gauze wrapping motions falter. “It—it is my job, Legolas.”

“Yet you go beyond your assignment and duty everyday. I see how you take care of us all, especially the hobbits. You truly have a noble heart.”

(Y/N) smiled softly and spoke in a teasing tone, “Well I suppose you are right—all you boys would be lost without me.”

A deep chuckled hummed in Legolas’s chest and the healer joined in with a bright laugh.

The giggles settled soon enough and Legolas spoke, his sentence quite abrupt. “How would you feel about coming to Mirkwood and living there as a healer once the ring is destroyed?”

Shocked, (Y/N) stuttered. “I—I am unsure. I don’t know if—“

“(Y/N)...” He interrupted. “I do not wish for the end of this journey to be the end of our acquaintance.”

The young woman looked down, “As I agree, but—“

“(Y/N),” he whispered.

Something about his tone made her freeze.

Ever so gently, he lifted her chin to force her to look at him. His voice was quiet as he spoke, “I—I don’t think you understand what I am trying to convey.”

Oh....

Now she understood.

The healer glanced at his lips which hovered near her own before biting her bottom one and locking gazes with him. Legolas of course noticed this and waisted no time. He pressed his mouth against hers and she instantly responded. Her hands slid up his bare chest, careful to avoid the wound on his torso, and then tangled themselves in his blonde locks. His muscular arms wrapped around her waist tightly as he focused on the taste of mint tea and fresh honey. The two moved their lips in sync and the world around them melted away. Suddenly, there was no quest, no fellowship, no responsibilities—only the two of them and the thudding of their hearts.

.......

Everything Tag: @sokkasdarling @scxundress @quilledinkpen @hufflepuffinblr @lea----b @aredhel-of-gondolin @princecami @the-fandoms-georgie @jazziwritestolkienprimary @wellfuckmyexistence

Legolas tag: @dark-angel-is-back

If you want to be tagged lmk!

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theabyssalmuses-a · 3 years ago

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Arknights Verse: Kirschtaria Wodime

In this re-imagining verse, Kirschtaria Wodime takes up the role of Rhodes Island lead Doctor. A completely different life, a completely different person than the same “Wodime” from Fate/Grand Order. Just what kind of life could he live in this new and different world?

For other Doctor roleplayers, I am happy to diminish his status to that of Medical Staff / General Assistant if you wish, or we can simply have two doctors or something. Whatever you’re most comfortable with! :)

anyways this is long lol be prepared.

Wodime was born to a wealthy family in the city of Victoria. He was cared for, and his every want and need was catered to. Even so, he had no friends growing up, as his family were very wary of threats from outside.

His father is the CEO of Kirsch Corp, an extremely wealthy business that, on top of owning several other businesses, is well known for their incredibly luxury hotels all across Terra- a favourite of nobles, aristocrats, lords and the like.

Deep within the bowels of this company, though, something far more shady lurks. Their latest innovation, a series of large, flying hotels for only the elite of the elite to visit- but yet the CEO is not satisfied.

The true goal of Kirsch Corp? Space. The Skies above. Their use of originium for vertical propulsion is steadily progressing, and they soon hope to be able to exit this planet and find another - one free from the scourge of Oripathy...

...of the infected.

Kirsch corp, by it’s nature, from it’s CEO down to it’s secretary, are anti-infected. It’s only a thinly veiled secret- those higher in society believe it all to be for a good cause, while the infected are down trodden, and are told they are what they are fleeing from.

However. The CEO - Wodime’s Father - grew ill. It was not with Oripathy, and he was expected to recover in some time...however, for the time being, Wodime himself was pushed to cover public appearances for the company. It was at this time he was assigned a body guard - Neptune - for his own sake. Just in case.

Wodime did his best to please the public, to give the best image of their company that he could, however...he always felt something was wrong.He was told they would leave this world, for somewhere far more beautiful...but what? What was that beauty?

Months past. And then years. Wodime’s father never full recovered, remaining mostly out of the public’s sight. However, his extended isolation, his own greed and own twisted psychology...saw something. Wodime, in his position as public face- he saw his own son as a competitor. He belived that Wodime sought to take over the company. He saw it now- as he spoke to the crowds, they all thought HE should be the head. Hah. No. Certainly not. Wodime’s father gave Neptune a day off - which he reluctantly accepted...and on that very same day...

--BLAM--

The bullet pierced Wodime’s chest, causing him to fall backwards-- still alive. As the assassin reloaded, the man sent by his own Father to kill him- Wodime activated his arts -- A teleport of a short distance. It was out of control. It was unpredictable...and then his vison went black. Below the streets, in the maintenance tunnels is where he awoke. A dirty rag covered him, and the stench of rot filled the air. Disgusting. Repulsive. He tried to move, but struggled with even that- he was weak. And so there he lay for some time. Waiting for death to take hold...when he heard footsteps. Far from the killers he was expecting, a small infected boy appeared from the tunnels, holding a small piece of bread. He broke a piece off, before placing it beside Wodime - and then retreating to the otherside of the room and eating his bread silently.

This was..how things were for a time. Stale bread. Cold sleeping. Dirty Water. It was terrible. It was awful. And yet- Wodime saw it. In the eyes of that little infected boy, who nary spoke a whisper- there was a beauty.

A beauty in life - in wanting to live - in living, no matter what.

It was beautiful. Even through the pain, and the suffering, he managed to smile. His will restored, he pushed himself to get up. to get moving, to go. To get out of here...and after some time, he finally managed to stand for the first time in months.

Still, he stayed for a time longer, wishing to get his bearings, and ensure his assailants would not return...and it was in this time that the small infected boy - who’s name Wodime did not know - collapsed. His Oripathy gripped his small, frail body- which no longer had the strength to fight, no longer was there beauty in life- only agony and terror.

He did the only thing he could think to do. Wrapping his saviour in that same ragged blanket, he took to the streets of Victoria. Late at night, he scoured through the darkened roads for help, and by some stroke of luck-- he found it.

Luck...or perhaps Fate? Who can say? There was a large transport vehicle headed away from Victoria - full of the sick and weak - going to a place called ‘Rhodes Island’. Wodime boarded, blending in as best he could with the crowd, and began his journey...

His arrival at Rhodes Island was...interesting. People stationed outside the main landship eyed him with scrutiny as he strode inside. (the anti-infected ways of his father’s company weren’t exactly secret.) but even so, he faced it head on. Stepping inside he asked, begged and pleaded for help for his friend. Swearing to protect the infected, of course the boy was administered for care...and relieved, Wodime turned to leave...before collapsing himself.

Waking up in intensive care, The Doctor of Rhodes Island stood beside him. For Wodime, he was terrified- something about this person chilled him to the bone. Yet for The Doctor, Wodime was someone of interest. They had no expected someone from such a sheltered life could...act in this way. Someone of high stature, someone so deeply in grained into the anti-infected rhetoric. And yet, Kirschtaria Wodime sat- barely recovered, talking as if the fate of the infected was his responsibility. “The lives of the infected..matter to me! I wont allow anyone to discount that! No matter what...I... want to protect that beauty found in Life!”

Wodime, who had long since searched for the beauty his father spoke of, found it nesting in the eyes of what his father despised.

The Doctor, who was a master of the chessboard...The kings, queens, pawns and knights-- had come across a Joker Card. Something unexpected. Something new. From an entirely different game.

In the months that followed, The Doctor hung around Wodime alot. A sick curiosity, perhaps. As they shared time, Wodime learnt more of The Doctor’s tactical prowess - and yet. Wodime refused to back down on his belief; All Life Was Sacred.

To The Doctor- who was twisted beyond recognition of themselves...what a breath of fresh air...Not enough to save themselves, not someone they could call a friend...but, if the situation called for it...

Another King on the board. Another player in the game. A spare piece.

It was by [redacted]’s request that Wodime be placed into Cryo alongside The Doctor...however, when only Wodime recovered from the freezing...it was only natrual that the baton be passed to him. His beliefs unwavering, yet his memories fuzzy - though not entirely gone, he carries the will of The Doctor, and he fights--

He fights for the beautiful world he had always searched for.

“--Welcome back, Doctor Wodime.”

#verse post #Kirchstaria Wodime: Grand Order - Animusphere #Doctor Wodime: To Find beauty in it all.#ANYWAY #this is very #uhm!#self indulgent #i just wondered what it would be like to have him in this univverse because his character is very interesting to me #and his original fate backstory #actually ported over really well (As you can see!)#so! it's fun!#but YEAH if u rp a doctor we can work around this however u want u dont HAVE to make yours be his friend or whatever #you can have yours not remember him at all!#or ..!#i can make him just a general assistant or med staff or smthn!!#i REALLY dont mind!!! whatever makes u happiest friends do not hesitate to lmk #or we can just have 2 doctors u kno whatever #this does work well with this considering ''the doctor'' still exists in his backstory it's not as if he replaces them entirely #anyways! myes #Wodime in Arknights #who will stop me :)#Hope you enjoy!#this is his backstory by the waey #heheheh

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morcellement · 4 years ago

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Some spring feelings over here :). Hope that helps with the lately stagnating Corona infection rates round here - despite of lockdown still being in place. Probably the English Variant is catching up 😷🧐. Daycare is back to pretty normal since today (it was closed from 18th on December till 3red of Januar; after that only parents who both work where allowed to bring their kids during working hours - our LO was alone in daycare since then). That’s good for me, as I had my second Corona-shot today and some chores to catch up. But I‘m afraid we‘ll be back soon to how it’s been before 🤷‍♀️. Vaccination is pretty slow in Germany at the moment - as there is not that much supply of vaccines (10Mio doses from end of Decembur until end of March were orderd - 5 Mio full doses for a population of 83 Mio doesn’t change much with the overall infection rates - but hopefully will save some lives). LO is also very happy to have some more contact to other kids over the next weeks. With over 2,5years old now he starts to play more with other kids then before. He’s talking sooo much now and it’s quite funny to finally get to know what’s in his little mind. We’re still singing Christmas songs over here (esp. one of which he can sing all three verses on his own :-O) but the questions about when Santa visits next time are getting less ;). He seems to get a grip on the order of weekdays and seasons. He still get’s his tantrums (esp. when we leave a playground or when he doesn’t want to wash his hands after eating), but they are not as frequent as they where. BTW he loves wearing his gloves - he insists to wear them, even if the temperatures are pretty spring like :-D.

#LO #every seems to be about covid at the moment #springtime

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mimiswitchywrites · 4 years ago

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Not A Burden: Chapter 4

TW: SH references, attempted s****de and references, child/s***al a**se references (not graphic but enough that could be triggering)

Masterlist or Read on AO3

2.3k words

---------

Gaius watched as the young girl shuffled in her sleep. She had tears trailing down her cheeks and was sweating profusely. He soaked the cloth again, pressing it against her head, cheeks and chest, and prayed to whatever was out there that the poor girl would be okay. He was well versed in the world of nightmares – his years caring for Morgana has assured that – but rarely had he seen someone with ones such as this.

The only time, he thought, was Charlie. He had returned from enemy territory a changed man. He could hardly keep his eyes closed longer than a minute before seeing the atrocities he had faces in their dungeons. The poor man ended up with a case of hysteria and walked off one day with only the clothes on his back, and never returned. Now, with more knowledge, Gaius hoped he could treat her before she ended that way.

Her right arm was healing nicely – scabbing over – but her left was in far from ideal condition. Arthur had reported that she had hit it on his chest plate at some point, and others had mentioned her picking at the wraps which seemed to amount to a slight infection. She had lost too much blood before being able to rest properly and the fact that she hadn’t collapsed into a sweating mess earlier truly impressed the aged physician. She was weak, both mentally and physically, and there was little he could do.

He dabbed her skin with the cloth again.

The candles in the tavern were burning low and with it came Gwaine’s high. He had drowned himself in ale, mead, cider and wine as soon as he had returned home (whether home was Camelot or The Rising Sun was still up for debate) and, even after two days, he showed no sign of stopping. At first, the other knights – both those of the Round Table and not – had joined him. Many a game of dice and cards were played, but eventually they left.

They always will. Another gulp of whatever was in his tankard, he’d lost track.

He traced the patterns on the table with his finger (fingers? He couldn’t tell how many were really there anymore) and felt his eyes growing heavy. He found a face in the wood, with thin lips and an angular jaw – it reminded him of his first infatuation. His first rejection. A final gulp.

His forehead found the table and snores soon followed.

Arthur sat at his desk, holding a blank piece of parchment and his favourite quill – the one Merlin had given him. He was trying to write a speech for an upcoming council meeting but all he could think about was his manservant. The, usually joyous, man had been distracted since they had arrived back, and he was unsure what to do about this. If Merlin were a knight, he would propose a fight or Torny or hunting trip (maybe not, that could be in bad taste even if he were a knight) but Merlin was not. Merlin was a country boy that practically cried at the thought of killing a fly, let alone fighting a full human with swords and armour. The king was stumped.

He wanted Merlin to smile again. They had barely performed their usual banter, all attempts by Arthur had fallen flat. He had even called Arthur ‘sire’ but it had none of it’s usual sarcasm, it seemed genuine which left an odd taste in Arthurs mouth. No, it would not do.

He slammed the parchment down, placing the quill next to it gently, and dropped his head in his hand. A frustrated groan escaped his lips.

A knock on the door interrupted his spiralling.

“Enter.”

Merlin stumbled in, basket in his arms. Merlin never knocks. The king squinted, discomfort over the situation growing. Giving up, he finally asked the question that had been plaguing him for days: “what’s wrong with you?”

Merlin’s head shot up from where it was rummaging through the pile of dirty clothes. He turned to face Arthur; confusion painted over his features. His eyebrows were pulled in, emphasising those lines in the middle of his forehead. His lips fell open and Arthur forced himself not to focus on them, and what they could do or where he wanted them to be.

“What?” As if Arthur ever had a reason to think Merlin was being formal with him.

“You’ve resembled the back end of a cat for days now. I don’t like it,” upon noticing Merlin smile as if about to make a remark about how the king cared or some other equally girly falsehood, he added, “it’s been affecting your work ethic. Be normal again.” He nodded, there, fixed it.

Merlin’s smile grew and Arthur’s heart began to swell. “If I didn’t know any better sire, I’d say you were worried about me.” Not quite fixed it would seem.

“Yes, well, good thing you’re an idiot then, eh?”

Merlin opened his mouth again and so Arthur gripped the cup next to him, prompting the boy to run out the room with his basket. A smile wormed its way onto Arthur’s face. He was glad to have his Merlin back, even if just for a moment.

Sir Leon prided himself on being King Arthurs longest standing and most loyal knight. He liked to think he knew the man like a true brother and so he also liked to think he knew when his brother was not acting normally. Hearing that he had shouted at a young, injured girl was a clear sign that he was not acting normally. He had wanted to talk to the girl first but, after bumping into Merlin (the poor boy and his basket almost went flying) and finding out that she wasn’t able to have visitors yet, he decided that he should get answers out of Arthur first.

Something Leon discovered early on about Arthur: he does not appreciate being told that he was wrong. While he has a huge heart and wishes the best for all in his kingdom, knowing he has done someone wrong leads him down a sad pit for days and so he tends to reject the notion. Being the one to tell him of his misdoings is not an enjoyable task.

Leon steeled himself as he stood outside the large oak doors. The guards – Thomas and Shaun – nodded at him respectfully before moving out the way for him. He knocked on the door: two quick raps, a single, and then another two. He heard the muffled “come in” from inside and obeyed, taking a final deep breath before doing so.

Arthur was sat, face in his hands with that smile that Leon had begun associating with a recent visit from a certain raven-haired servant. He had a light blush coating his cheeks and a star struck look in his eyes. Leon cleared his throat, bringing Arthur back to reality.

Reality didn’t have anywhere near enough Merlin in it.

“Sir Leon,” he coughed, voice dropping to his usual octave, “what can I do for you?” He gestured to a chair next to the fire and moved from the desk taking the other one for himself. Leon, after thinking about it for a second, sat. He tried to keep his feet still as he mulled over the best way to broach the subject of his visit.

“Well, and I mean no offence over this, I have no desire to attack you Sire—”

“You’re bumbling almost as much as Merlin, Leon. Come out with it, it’s alright.”

The knight cleared his throat, chuckling a little at Arthurs comment. “Right, well, I wanted to ask you about the girl.”

“Miriam.”

“Miriam, yes. I have heard confusing reports of something you said to her.” He watched Arthur’s face. His nostrils were flaring and there was a slight tic near his right eyebrow that Leon had learnt over the years meant frustration. “And” he continued, slightly quieter this time, “I was hoping you could shed some light on the situation?”

Arthur stood up, retrieving a goblet and the pitcher of wine that Merlin had left on his table that morning. He filled the cup, downed it, and filled it again, making his way back to his seat.

“What would you like to know?” He refused to make eye contact, staring into the dying flames instead. He must get Merlin to tend to the fire whenever he returns.

“What happened? I struggle to believe that you intended to hurt or scare her.”

Arthur let out a breathy laugh, smile not reaching his eyes. “I’m glad you have such faith in me, Leon.” He finally looked up at him, noticing how anxious the man was to be asking such questions of his friend. “You are right, I meant no harm to her, but harm is what I brought regardless.” He frowned, taking a large swig of his wine. “She got up in the middle of the night and disappeared into the wood. I couldn’t hear or see her, and it concerned me. I couldn’t take the idea that we had found yet another person wanting to harm those I… care for.” He tipped back the last of his drink, Gwaine would be proud. “Turned out she had just gone to relieve herself and, as she turned back to camp, we bumped into each other. She hit her arm on my armour and I said somethings that maybe I shouldn’t have.”

“It was all an accident then?” Arthur nodded, eyes on the embers again. “So why has the story been twisted so?”

“I may have argued with Lancelot about the situation and made it worse for myself.”

Leon bit his tongue, wanting to suggest the King apologise but knowing it would be far from a wise idea. “I understand, Sire. Have you visited her since?” he asked, knowing the answer was no. As expected, the king shook his head, inhaling deeply. “Perhaps you could arrange a time to see her with Merlin?”

“Perhaps.”

The conversation clearly over, Leon left, leaving his friend to brood over the situation. He took no joy in questioning Arthur or pushing him so, but it was important to do every so often.

Gwen peeled the carrots as Elyan brought the water to a boil, adding twigs to the fire occasionally. They had spent the last year getting into a stable routine together having not lived in the same home since they were teens. It was often silent in the hut, both consumed by their thoughts of work and their friends, but when they talked, gods did they talk. It was as if Elyan never left, conversation flowing all night long. They would laugh, joke, hug, cry on occasion, and they would be siblings again.

Now though, with carrots being cut up small, Gwen was in her head.

She had been tending to Miri as she slept when she had no other duties to take care of. Since Morganas disappearance, she didn’t often have other duties. The woman, likely around Gwen’s age, fascinated her. She looked a lot like Morgana did, maybe that was what drew her in. The way her black hair framed her face and her eyebrows furrowed in her sleep. The light brown spots that marked her cheeks were like none she had ever seen before. She wanted nothing more than to talk with her and find out what led her to the forest all those days ago. Gwen found her heart aching thinking of how lonely one must feel to do something like that.

Elyan took the chopping board from in front of his sister and emptied the carrots into the pot above the flames. He watched her as she stared at nothing, face scrunched in worry. She had been like this since meeting the girl and it concerned him. He put his hand on her shoulder, pulling her back. She placed her hand on his, smiled, and returned to preparing the dinner.

That night, as she lay in the rickety bed at the back of their house, she thought about Miri once more. She didn’t understand the feelings swelling in her chest – they were different from the ones she felt with Lancelot all those years ago, but she couldn’t figure out how. She turned onto her side, huffing out a frustrated breath. Morgana would understand, she always did, even when she didn’t.

The day Morgana ran away left a hole in Camelot’s heart. In Gwen’s heart. She had thought her Lady, her friend, could trust her but as she read the note that was left on the hut table, she realised just how wrong she was. She knew Morgana had been struggling with her dreams, with her magic (something that Gwen still hadn’t told anyone about) but she thought that, with Gwen by her side, she would be able to get through it. That they would get through it, together.

A lump grew in her throat and tears pricked at her eyes. She was so tired of crying over what could never be.

And seeing Merlin and Arthur as they were, knowing that, now Arthur was king, they could finally be something more than longing glances, it broke her.

She sat up, pulling her knees into her chest as the water trailed down her cheeks. She was so happy for her friends; for the love that was blooming, but sometimes she hated what they represented. They were everything she could never have. The way they would curl up close on cold nights away from home, the way Merlin would rest a hand on Arthur’s shoulder as he read whatever he was working on, the way Arthur made sure Merlin had a seat right next to him in council meetings. Although she knew they hadn’t talked about it properly, she knew they would end up married in all but title one day and even that could happen if Arthur was brave enough to fight the lords on the matter.

Her chest tightened and she could swear she felt her heart breaking all over again.

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appalachianwiine · 4 years ago

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Swim - Chapter 5 - A Light In the Darkness

I need light in the dark as I search for the resolution

-"The Resolution" by Jacks Mannequin

“Well we’re not going to be starting Chemo tonight after all.” Dr. Rhee says as she walks in shortly after lunch.

“We’re not?” Daryl frowns.

“No her post op lab results show just a little bit of an increase in white blood cells.” Dr. Rhee explains. “I’m going to give her some antibiotics and retest tomorrow morning. But the good news is that means she can go down to the playroom for a bit.”

“Can she have visitors?” Daryl asks. Lydia had been asking about seeing Carl since the child life specialist, Beth, had left.

“Yeah she can, but visiting hours for non family end at 8pm” Dr. Rhee informs him.

“Want me t’ call ‘em baby girl?” Daryl asks.

“Can you?” Lydia pleads.

“Yeah.” Daryl picks up his phone and dials Lori.

“Daryl?!” Her voice is a little strained. “We’ve been calling all day. Is everything okay?”

Its with a rush of guilt he realizes he’s hardly looked at his phone since she called him yesterday. “Shit sorry Lori.” He gives her the short version of it all, about the leukemia, the lumbar puncture, the results they were waiting on.

“I can’t believe you didn’t call earlier.” Lori scolds. “Daryl, we should’ve been there. I can’t believe you had to do all this alone.”

Daryl grimaces. “Sorry, I uh - I actually had a meetin’ this mornin’. With a nice woman who runs the support group here fer parents. She was a single parent when she went through this with her daughter.”

“Oh.” Lori says. “Is - is there a lot of that? Single parents I mean.”

Daryl glances over at Lydia, who’s drawn back into the television. “I ain’ even the only adoptive parent righ’ now. There’s a guy across the hall, Ezekiel, an’ his kid.”

“Shit.” Lori mutters. “Well um - do you - do you want us to come by? Can she have visitors?”

“Yeah she can. She’s been askin’ t’ see Carl. Real disappointed in not getting t’ see him yesterday.” Daryl says.

“I’ll give Rick a call and we’ll be by.” Lori says. “You need anything from home?”

“No we’re alright.” Daryl says. “Thanks Lori.”

“Of course.” Lori says. “We’ll see you around 3?”

“See you then.” He hangs up, turning back to Lydia, who’s watching him with hopeful eyes. “They’ll be here around three.”

“Yay!” Lydia grins, bouncing up and down.

“Ya know,” Dr. Rhee says. “Maybe Miss Lydia would like to check out the playroom. She’ll have to wear a mask and stay connected to the infusion pump, but they’ve got a lot of good stuff in there.”

“Can we daddy?” Lydia asks.

“Sure.” Daryl agrees, he’ll do anything to keep her in good spirits right now. She seems to be feeling good and he’d like to keep it that way. “You know there’s a little boy yer age across the hall?”

“There is?” Lydia asks. “Can I see him?”

“Sure, lets go over and see if he wants to come with us.” Daryl helps Lydia out of bed and sets her carefully on the floor. “Hang on let me get the pole.” He reaches for the infusion pole, fumbling with the latch that attaches it to the bed for a moment. It releases and he pulls it towards him, it’s surprisingly heavy. “Alright lets go kiddo.”

They have to pause twice for Daryl to gather up the tubing that comes out of Lydia’s arm and up to the bag of antibiotics. As he loops them around his hand it strikes him that this isn’t unlike Dog’s long line, wrapped around his hands and unraveling as they move. Lydia looks back at Daryl as they reach the door of 323.

“You knock daddy.” Lydia mutters, reaching out to grab his hand. The wariness returns to her as they stand in front of the door.

“Okay.” He says, squeezing her hand and reaching out to knock.

“A moment!” Ezekiel’s voice comes from beyond the door. There’s some scrambling and then the door pulls open. “Daryl!”

The booming voice makes Lydia flinch and draw closer to Daryl. Daryl reassures her with a hand on her head, stroking her hair back. “Uh, Ezekiel. This is Lydia.” He smiles. “She was wondering if - if Henry might want to come to the playroom.”

Ezekiel kneels in front of them, and it’s then that Daryl sees he’s wearing a paper crown colored in yellow and pink. “Hello Lydia.” His voice drops. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Ezekiel.” He holds out a hand.

Lydia’s brown eyes look back up at Daryl, and then, slowly, she reaches out to shake Ezekiel’s hand. “Hi.”

“Would you like to come in and meet Henry?” Ezekiel asks. Lydia nods silently, and Ezekiel stands, offering a smile and stepping back from the door. “Come in, he’s over there with Carol.”

Daryl pushes the IV pole into the room, it’s a mirror image of their own, except this one is decorated. Behind the bed is one of those banners you get from the party store spelling out ‘Henry’ in bold green letters, and a bunch of printer sheet sized papers with colorful backsplash and lettering taped around the room. As he walks past one Daryl sees it’s a bible verse, the others appear to be too. Over by the window the bald little boy is sitting on Carol’s lap and holding plastic dinosaurs.

“Henry.” Ezekiel calls. “Someone is here to see you.”

The boy’s head turns and Daryl is struck by how in the light of day his skin appears almost translucent but his eyes are bright and alert. “Hi.” He says, climbing off of Carol’s lap and trotting across the floor, his own infusion tube trailing after him. “I’m Henry.”

“Lydia.” She mumbles, hiding her face against Daryl’s leg.

“Go on.” Daryl mutters, nudging her forward. “Ask him.”

“Do you um… want to go to the… to the playroom?” She mutters, half into Daryl’s leg.

“Sure.” A smile stretches across Henry’s face. “Can we daddy?”

“Sure Henry.” Ezekiel says, already fumbling with the latch on the infusion pole.

“Hi Daryl.” Carol says. “She doing okay?”

“Yeah I think so.” Daryl nods. “Better now that she ate, and uh her friend is coming to visit soon.”

“Are you coming with us?” Henry asks Carol as he drops a few plastic dinosaurs into a tub.

“If your daddy doesn’t mind.” Carol smiles.

“Never do.” Ezekiel smiles, sliding Henry’s own infusion pole over to them. “Ready?”

The playroom is at the other end of the floor, it’s empty and clean, even here everything smells sterile and controlled. There’s a sign telling the kids to wear masks before they go in, and two boxes, one with princesses and the other with trucks. A bit gendered but it’s an option. Henry reaches confidently for the princess one and puts it on, Lydia on the other hand looks warily at them.

“I don’t want those.” Lydia murmurs.

“I know.” Daryl sighs. “But those are the rules, if you don’t follow them you have to go back to the room.”

“Fine.” Lydia scowls, grabbing one of the pink princess ones and putting it on. “Can we go play now?”

“Go on.” Daryl says, pushing her infusion pole over to one of the small tables and watching her drag out the barbies.

“They seem to be hitting it off.” Carol comes to stand next to him, Ezekiel is helping the kids pull the toys out, still wearing the paper crown.

“Yeah.” Daryl mutters. “What’s uh - what’s with the crown?”

“Oh,” Carol chuckles. “Henry was making us play something he calls ‘’Kingdom” It changes but the theme is usually he’s a prince and Ezekiel is the King and they have to fight monsters.”

“Ah.” Daryl chuckles. “A fun kid?”

“Oh tons of fun.” Carol nods. “When he feels good anyway, he’ll probably take a hit after this round of Chemo.” Her smile fades a little bit.

“Oh.” Dary mutters.

“Sorry.” Carol apologizes. “It’s just - it’s always a little hard being here.”

“I can’t even imagine.” Daryl sighs. “Losing her it’s -”

“Don’t.” Carol cuts him off. “I’m sorry just - the words don’t… they don’t help and you don’t need to go there right now.”

“Right.” He’s quiet for a while, an awkward silence stretching out in front of them.

“What do you do?” Carol says after a moment.

“Cop. Special Victims, domestic violence and child abuse mostly” He nods. “‘S how I met Lydia. You?”

“High School English teacher.” Carol says. Daryl chuckles. “What?”

“I don’ know I didn’t picture that.” He shrugs.

“Oh really?” Carol raises her eyebrows. “What did you picture Mr. Cop?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t picture you as a strict highschool English teacher.” He scratches his chin. “You uh make the kids write a million drafts?”

“If I don't, no one will.” She chuckles. “I wanted to teach Elementary though, but after Sophia… highschool was easier.”

“Ah.” Daryl nods. “And uh, you an’ Ezekiel, how long has that been a thing? Just since he moved down here? Or did you know him before?”

“Me and Ezekiel?” She raises her eyebrows. “Oh we’re not - no, just friends. Trust me the last thing either of us has the time or energy for is dating. He got in contact with me a lot like you did actually, referral through Maggie.”

“Oh.” Daryl says. “I uh, sorry I just assumed, I mean Henry seems to adore you and I just assumed.”

“It’s fine.” Carol promises. “So what’s her plan?”

“Lydias?” Daryl asks, Carol nods. “Oh um, well apparently the lab is closed on Sundays, but we should have results by Thursday, but I think she’s supposed to start Chemo tomorrow. What uh… what can I expect? I mean Dr. Rhee told me but it’s kind of overwhelming.”

“Daryl.” Carol sighs. “Are you sure you can handle this right now?”

“I’m fine.” He insists. “The hallway was just -”

“It’s okay.” Carol reaches over and squeezes his arm. “You don’t have to explain, I promise we’ve all had breakdowns in the hallway.”

“Right.” Daryl rubs his hands on his jeans.

“So um,” Carol says. “So they’ll probably give about four hours of fluids first, chemo does a lot of damage to the kidneys so they’ll want her to flush it as quickly as possible. So expect a lot of potty breaks, then she’ll get her chemo, then another four hours of fluids. She’ll feel pretty tired, nauseous, she might get constipated, and her blood counts will plummet.”

“What does that mean?” Daryl asks. “Like what do I - what will she look like.”

“Um, pale, they’ll watch her for a certain kind of bruising, she’ll have a higher chance of infection. It’s not too bad when they’re checking her all the time, but it’s nerve wracking when you’re at home.” Carol sighs, chewing her lip.

“Her hair.” He says quietly. “How long… um will that take to…”

“To fall out?” Carol says slowly, he can still sense some reluctance on her part. “Sophia's took about 2 weeks to really start coming out and then we shaved it after the third week, it was starting to upset her. But Henry kept all of his until it was gone and that was about a month.”

“A month.” He mutters. “That’s uh - that’s not very long.”

“No.” Carol shakes her head. “But you’re gonna get through this Daryl. It’s like Ezekiel said, you’re not alone in this. You can call me any time, seriously.”

“Yeah.” He nods. “I uh - I will.”

“I know that look.” Carol says. “Which means I’m going to be calling you to check in.”

“What d’ ya mean?” He gowns.

“That look means you’re not going to reach out first and you’re going to be stubborn about it.” Carol nudges him.

He blushes, that had been what he was thinking. “Fine. FIne. I’ll call.”

“Before you’re discharged. You’ll need help with that. There’s a lot that needs to be done for her to come home.” Carol insists.

“Yeah alright. Before she’s discharged.” Daryl promises.

They linger in the playroom for another half an hour, after which Henry starts complaining that he’s tired. Ezekiel takes Henry back to their room and Daryl helps Lydia put away some of the toys.

“Come on kiddo, Carl will be here soon.” Daryl says, putting a few barbies in the bin.

“Alright.” Lydia pouts putting a couple more barbies away. “Is she coming with us?”

Daryl looks over at Carol who’s putting away a few plastic animals. “Um, I don’t think so. Why?”

“I thought she’s Henry’s mom.” Lydia shrugs. “But he says she’s not.”

“Yeah.” Daryl nods.

“You two want some help getting back to the room?” Carol offers.

“Nah.” Daryl shakes his head, sliding the bin of barbies back into the cupboard and starting to gather up Lydia’s infusion line. “I think we got it. Don’t we Lydia?”

“We got it.” Lydia nods.

“Alright.” Carol smiles. “I’ll get going then okay?”

“Yeah.” Daryl nods. “And uh… thanks for everything.”

“Of course.” Carol says, holding the door open so he can push the heavy infusion pole through it. “And I mean it, I’ll be calling you. I want to see you in our meeting on Tuesday okay?”

Daryl’s about to answer but he’s cut off by a sharp yelp, Lydia has rushed forward to the end of her line and tugged it. “Lydia!” He mutters, hurrying over to her and kneeling in front of her, it doesn’t appear to have come out. “What are you-”

“Lydia!” And in a blur another eight year old has rushed up beside him, hugging her tightly.

“Carl!” Lydia grins, barely noticing the worry she’d caused Daryl. “Move Daddy!”

“I - “ He looks over at Carol, she’s covered her mouth trying to suppress a giggle.

“It’s cute.” She says apologetically. “Tuesday?”

“Yeah.” His shoulders relax. “Tuesday.” Carol walks past him towards the elevator and Daryl pulls the infusion pump closer to them. “Carl where’s your mom?”

“I don’t know.” Caryl shrugs, sticking his thumbs in his belt looks. “Somewhere.”

“Carl Grimes!” Lori’s harsh voice says, coming up rapidly behind them, baby Judith on her hip. “Don’t you ever run off like that again you understand?”

“Sorry. I saw Lydia.” Carl shrugs.

“I can see that.” Lori sighs. “Daryl, sorry about him he knows better.”

“It’s fine Lori.” Daryl assures. “We’re just heading back to the room.”

“Who was the woman?” Carl asks, holding Lydia’s hand as Daryl gathers up the cords again and loops them around his arm.

“Oh that’s Carol. She’s not Henry’s mom.” Lydia shrugs.

“Then who is she?” Carl frowns.

“I don’t know. Daddy's friend I guess.” Lydia doesn’t seem phased by it and the two start off down the hall, leaving Daryl and Lori to hurry after them.

“Woman?” Lori raises her eyebrows.

“Carol.” Daryl says. “She’s from the single parents support group. She uh - saw that whole fiasco.”

“Ah.” Lori chuckles. “She's pretty?”

“Yeah I guess. Why?” Daryl narrows his eyes.

“No reason.” Lori smirks.

“Oh no no no.” Daryl says. “My kid has cancer, you're not playing matchmaker.”

“You’re no fun.” Lori pouts.

“Where’s Lori and Michonne?” He’s eager to change the subject.

“Already in the room probably, they didn’t have a baby to hold them up.” Lori chuckles. “Or a little boy who likes to play the world tour of bathrooms every time we’re somewhere new. They brought some decorations for Lydia.”

“Daddy look!” Lydia grins from the doorway. “Look what aunt Michonne and Uncle Rick brought!”

Sure enough, when he gets to the door the entire room has been done up like a Little Mermaid party. Balloons, streamers, and a big ‘get well soon lydia’ sign hanging above the bed.’. He grins sheepishly at rick. “Y’all didn’t have t’ do this.”

“Of course we did.” Michonne grins. “Now come on Lydia we brought you some presents.”

#the walking dead #the walking dead fanfic #caryl #caryl fanfic #carol peletier #daryl dixon #fic; swim #lydia twd #henry twd #king ezekiel

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loudsuitlover · 5 years ago

Text

Love is a lot of texts

Part 1. Love is a lot of doubts

Luke

Luke: I have to send you a voice mail telling you what happened to my wound

Anna: What happened to your wound? Oh boy! I can’t leave you on our own, can I?

Luke: Haha nothing happened to the wound don’t worry

Anna: Oh, thank God! My little girl! I have treated that wound with more love than I treat some people

Luke: lol it’s just they didn’t take out the stitches yet so I’ll have to go to Germany with them on haha family trip with stitches included haha If you want you can come to Germany with me, we have a spare spot, so you could continue taking care of it

Anna: And of the wound as well ;) Like your personal nurse hey?

Luke: HAHAHAHA you’re too much

Anna: You make it pretty easy... Do you think you’ll surive all the way in Germany without me? Please don’t hurt yourself again, you won’t have a Med student around to take care of your injuries...

Luke: I don’t know... I’ll try... But in case I do get injured, I’ll think of you

Anna: Given how clumsy you are, if you think of me every time you get injured you must be so in love by now...

Luke: I’ll be careful then... I need to forget about you...

Anna: Will you stay above me? Look my way, never love me. This is a joke only well-versed in music people will understand...

Luke: Of course I understand, you idiot. Your jokes keep falling, your jokes keep falling.

Anna: Alright your chill hour of music before sleep was enough for that.

Luke: It helps me fall asleep and forget people like you

Anna is writing....

Luke: who show up so frequently in my mind

Anna: I was writing that you’re despicable but you fixed it with that so I won’t.

Luke: Haha we always end up talking about the same... Why is that, Anna? You tell me.

Anna: Haha Idk...But they say between joke and joke the truth is shown ;)

Luke: Well, if you want me to show you something else, you just have to say the word ;)

Anna: haha you’re good. Maybe when you come back from Germany you can come over and show it to me.

And the wound too.

Luke: I’d love to, as long as some other time you come over and show me something else.

Anna: Done ;)

- --- -

Harry

Anna sent a youtube video: Carrot cake with MasterChefStyle

Harry: bitch

Anna: Handsome. Love you. I’m gonna grab my headphones. I want to listen to MasterChefStyle before going to bed. I really do love you.

Harry: Dude, I don’t know in which moment I thought it was a good idea to tell you about this. I changed my name afterwards.

Anna: Don’t worry MasterChefStyle. Your secret is safe with me.

Harry: To MisterChefystyles

Anna: HAHAHAHA I was going to criticize you for changing such wonderful name

Harry: Full incognito

Anna: But then I read the y in MisterChefystyles and I said mate just when I thought it couldn’t get better

Harry: That’s me

Anna: Did you wake your mum already or you’re still on the way?

Harry: Actually I just got here, listen.

Harry sent a voice mail.

Anna: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Your poor mum had to send you to hell

Harry: I’m in for some slaps

Anna: Like the ones you gave me last night? ;) Oh boy, even me myself got scandalized

Harry: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anna: Thanks for sharing this moment with me really. It’s like just on one night I’ve gotten to know you like I’ve known you for years. You tell me about your sister, you show me videos of your family, I listen to your mum’s voice and I found out who MisterChefystyles was. I haven’t been happier in my entire life. I adore you.

Harry: Yeah you’re really finding out about all my secrets... You’ll end up finding out the truth about my micropenis.

Anna: That’s everything I want in life.

Harry: Oh, no, another? It seems to be a lot of people’s principle goal.

Anna sent a photo.

Harry: Oh no. How do you even have that photo?

Anna: Because I keep everything of yours because I love you.

Harry: Oh boy.... I’ll believe you in the end.

Anna: You can believe me. I never lie.

Harry: You lie more often than you talk, Annie haha Good night beautiful X

Anna: Good night MisterChefystyles xx

- --- -

Luke

Anna: Oh boy, nobody cares about your stitches, except from me... You see when I’m a doctor this won’t happen to you. I might kill you with a wrong diagnose but you’ll never be unattended

Luke: hahaha Idk what I prefer... But I actually believe in you even though you don’t haha

Anna: Hey that was actually sweet. I love you shit.

Luke: I do love you shit.

Anna: Oh <3 x

Luke: Got rid of the stitches :)

Anna: Really? Awesome! Did it hurt? What did they say about the scar? That it looked so good because someone must have taken really good care of it? :)

Luke: haha it didn’t hurt and it was all very fast, they didn’t even say anything about how it looked haha but I know it’s all because of you if that means anything

Anna: Of course it does :) Anyway, how are you? How is Germany?

Luke: It’s actually very very pretty. It’s such a shame you haven’t been here, I reckon you’ll love it but don’t worry Anna, someday we’ll make a trip over here and I’ll show you around :)

Anna: Well that would be great! I would love you a lot!

Luke: Could you even love me any more than you do now?

Anna: It’ll be hard that’s for sure... And if you want we can rent a car and I can show you how to properly drive. I know you manage more or less but I’ll let you learn from the best.

Luke: HAHAHAHAHA very funny! You’ll be lucky if I let you drive at all.

Anna: Of course you’ll let me drive! I’m such a good driver

Luke: I’m actually curious about how bad you actually drive so I’ll let you even if it’s just to find out. I love you anyway but you already know that.

Anna: hahaha you’re by far the silliest person I know. When you’re back I’ll win you at an illegal race in order to shut up that mouth of yours.

Luke: If silly is the one who makes silly things then I admit I am sometimes but so are you ;) Illegal race her? What a good driver, lady! Challenged accepted.

Anna: Actually, thinking it through, you already have a scar on your skull because of an opened window... I wouldn’t want you to kill yourself trying to pass me because then how would I get over that?

Luke: Don’t worry, I won’t need to pass you because you’ll always be after me

Anna: Excuse you, but you’re the one who’s always after me ;)

Luke: I don’t know if it was intentional but I got the double sense there and just so you know in that sense you’re actually the one who’s after me, I already got ya, love.

Anna: Well it took you long enough! I don’t wash the hair of just anybody...

Luke: Haha just thinking about it makes me laugh. Sometimes I still can’t believe you actually washed my hair ;) You’re funny, Annie, you should make stand up comedy... Or we could make a show together but we let’s do it soon

Anna: And the show as well.

Luke: The show can wait

Anna: And you?

Luke: I can’t wait to be back but it all depends on my brother... He’s sick and we’re still in the hospital, we don’t know what’s going on, some infection or something.

Anna: Wait, are you serious? But how is he? Is it serious?

Luke: He’s good, yeah, he’s just got a fever and this belly ache that won’t fade away but don’t worry. I’ll keep you inform we just don’t know much yet.

Anna: I’m so sorry, Luke. I hope it’s nothing because your mum already has enough on her plate worrying about you.

Luke: hahahaha very true. She’s a saint.

Anna: Well she’ll be proud of you when you introduce me to the family.

Luke: Or maybe she disinherits me

Anna: I hate you.

Luke: Wow, that’s the ugliest thing you’ve ever said to me.

Anna: Idiot.

Luke: Look, our first fight.

Anna: hahaha now the reconciliation. It’s your turn to wash my hair

Luke: hahaha It’d be my pleasure. One of these days we can meet up and I’ll wash that beautiful hair of yours. Best plan ever.

Anna: haha now I love you again. Can’t you see how easy it is for you?

Luke: Yay! Does that mean I don’t have to wash your hair anymore? Nah, I’m kidding. Really I even want to haha

Anna: Whenever you want.

Luke: Want me.

Anna: I already do and if you wash my hair even more.

Luke: Your house or mine?

Anna: I have a bath ;)

Luke: Then it’s settled.

Anna: I don’t even know if you’ll manage.

Luke: Why wouldn’t I?

Anna: Because you’ll get nervous and get shampoo on my eyes.

Luke: hahaha I would never do that! And btw the doctor just said the fever is gone and he’s free to go so we’re flying back home in the morning so he can go to the hospital at home and stuff.

Anna: That’s so great! I’m so happy for my brother-in-law! I hope he gets well soon.

Luke: hahaha he said thanks but he still doesn’t aprove of our romance.

Anna: He knows I’m too good for you...

Luke: hahaha I believe he thinks the exact opposite but whatever helps you sleep at night.

Anna: I sleep perfectly fine thank you, I have no doubts. I think we all know what this is about already.

Luke: I don’t ;)

Anna: Well if you’re as slow driving as you are thinking then I already won the illegal race

Luke: Thankfully I’m only slow on certain things... And driving is not one of them ;)

�� - --- -

Harry

Harry: Well if I do the masters degree I’m not doing it here. I think I want to go to France for a while.

Anna: Nooooooooooooooooooo

Harry: You’re going to Italy so don’t complain! Hey where the fuck are you going to be in August?

Anna: Here :) And I’ll come back from Italy, it’s only for ten months not “for a while”

Harry: I’ll come back too. For you. I think. And if you’re gonna be here in August, get some of the guys together and come visit me to my sister’s :)

Anna: I’ll remember that

Harry: Or you could come on your own :) But it’s kind of far away... And you’ll probably forget because you’ll meet an Italian guy and fall in love with him

Anna: I can drive up to your sister’s and I won’t get a ticket because I do respect speed limits :) And I won’t fall in love with anyone. Now that I know God I won’t pray to saints.

Harry: I don’t know what to say to that. I’m speechless.

Anna: hahah Cook me something

Harry: Anytime haha you’ll come then? To my sister’s? :)

Anna: Yes :) I’ll surprise you guys.

Harry: Stay for several days, we’ll spend the day at the beach and then you’ll sleep in my bed

Anna: Will I have to go in through your window like a thief?

Harry: It has fences but I’ll get a rotaflex, don’t worry.

Anna: HAHAHAHA Yeah, surely your mum won’t hear that.

Harry: well that’s okay, she’ll be proud when she sees you.

Anna: Yeah, right, like when my Aussie exboyfriend’s dad found us on the pool... Not cool.

Harry: Wait, whaaaat? lol

Anna: Haven’t I told you about that?

Harry: No. I mean I think you haven’t. You’ve told me many things but since you’re life is so fucking interesting

Anna: That was the cruelest joke you’ve ever said to me.

Harry: It wasn’t a joke, silly. I’m serious. You’re probably the most interesting person I know. If only you ate meat...

Anna: Well I don’t bite meat but sometimes I suck on it HAHAHAHA God I love scandalizing you. I know what face you made when you read it.

Harry: I almost have a heart attack

Anna; I love saying these things to you because I remember that one time we were playing truth or dare and you ask me something and I didn’t quite understand so I answered wrong and now you think I’m like such a fucker and I love that.

Harry: What do you mean?

Anna: You remember when you asked me if I had been with more than three guys?

Harry: Yes.

Anna: And I said “sure”?

Harry: Yes.

Anna: Well I thought you meant kissing. That’s what I said sure like that, like it was so obvious that I had been with more than three haha

Harry: Oh haha I mean it’s fine either way haha

Anna: I know but it’s just not true and since you know so many things about me now, I thought you should know that too.

Harry: Okay. So with how many have you been? Just curious.

Anna: But what do you mean with “been”? Like- naked?

Harry: Well then you’d count that one time you went to the nudist beach with your girlfriends... I mean fuck for God’s sake.

Anna: Hahaha then 1

Harry: THEN YOU LIED!

Anna: hahaha no I didn’t lie! I told you! I just understood you meant kiss! And I mean I was three months living on my own in a foreing country... Of course I’ve kissed more than three guys... But this is a secret between me and you because I have no clue why but somehow in my group of friends everyone thinks I’m a sex goddess haha but it’s not true

Harry: Don’t worry about that, you’d still be a sex goddess even if you were a virgin.

Anna: HAHAHA I don’t know how I got that reputation but I kind of like that nobody knows the truth about that haha well now you do but you won’t tell

Harry: Of course I won’t, don’t worry. And I don’t know either but to me ever since I met you you’ve been like the female version of Joey. Well no, you’re actually more like Barney Stinson. Yeah, that’s you, 100%

Anna: What? Haha that’s so funny. I must be so snobby then because that couldn’t be farthest away from the truth haha

Harry: No, you’re not snobby at all because it’s not about what you say. You don’t ever brag about that. I think it’s just the way you are, you know? Like how you talk, the way you look, the way you smile... You’re confident and very attractive so... I guess we all just assume haha

Anna: Are you serious? I don’t ever get anybody’s attention! That’s what I thought of you when I met you, you know? That you probably get any girl you want.

Harry: Oh, come on! Don’t come to me with the false modesty! And me? Getting girls? HAHAHA I am terrible at flirting! I always mess it up haha Everything I’ve had I’ve had it because it had practically fallen on my lap. If it had been for me I’d still be a virgin.

Anna: Then just like me.

Harry: Yeah, right. You’re a goddess, mermaid.

Anna: And you’re an idiot haha I’ve had guys rejecting me since middle school.

Harry: Did you check if they were blinds?

Anna: Haha can you stop? I’m being serious!

Harry: So am I! But please do tell me, open up your heart.

Anna: Well, you know how silly I am! I mean I did tell you about Lorenzo.

Harry: Well, yeah, but that was just a bump in your impeccable carreer.

Anna: Not at all haha I’m just an idiot, that’s it. When I like a guy I get all weird with stupid jokes and then guys just never notice me.

Harry: Hahaha I can’t believe you. That’s impossible.

Anna: Haha alright, we’ll see if you say the same five years from now when I’m a single surgeon.

Harry: Trust me, what will surprise me about that would be the surgeon part.

Anna: hahahaha you’re such a jerk!

Harry: The only reason you’re single is because you want to.

Anna: Don’t think so.

Harry: Know so. And anyway, you have a gay best friend. You’re already safe. You’ll always be the woman on his life.

Anna: That’s true. Cody I love you.

Harry: And if not, I can be you plan H.

Anna: You’re my plan A.

Harry: I think that’s the most beautiful thing a girl has ever said to me. Only second to my mum’s “you’re the most handsome guy in the planet”

- --- -

Luke

Luke: Hey if you’re up tell me a funny story.

Anna: Sorry I was asleep but I’m up now :) What was it? How are you?

Luke: Well I was a bit worried because the doctor said the blood tests weren’t all that soothing but then he explained everything and it’s better.

Luke sent a voice mail.

Anna: Oh, well, chronic diseases do suck but at least they know what he has? I don’t really know what to say to you but just know I’m here if you need me, yeah? And you know I know nothing about medicine but if you wanna talk about alpacas just call me :) And I love you.

Luke: HAHAHAHAHAHA I don’t know how you do it but you always get smiles out of everyone even when it looks imposible. I am so grateful I know you. Alpacas hahaha You always make me laugh. Thank you.

Anna: Oh boy, you’re gonna make me blush haha

Luke: Don’t get nervous ;)

Anna: So you still wanna hear a funny story?

Luke: I’m always in for that, am I not?

Anna: Well in that case. I’ve been playing on my own with one of the toys of the girl I nanny for like 25 minutes. She got tired but here I am still painting with these things.

Anna sent a photo.

It’s so calming.

Luke: Hahaha that’s just pitiful. Where’s the girl you nanny?

Anna: I’m not actually nannying now. It was her birthday and she invited me so I came,

Luke: You went to the an eight-year-old birthday party for free?

Anna: She invited me! I couldn’t say no. She’s like a little sister to me now.

Luke: You’re something else. Anyway, tell her happy birthday from a random stranger.

Anna: Will do :)

Luke: Thinking it through, I’m not even a stranger... If she’s like your sister, then she’s like my future sister-in-law...

Luke sent a photo.

Btw that’s the best part of your drawing.

Anna: Did you really just spend all this time searching for the error?

Luke: I mean it wasn’t that hard to search.

Anna: Yeah right.

Luke: Hey Anna

Anna: Yes?

Luke: I actually can’t wait to see you.

Anna: Neither can I :)

Luke: And before we start declaring our love to one another, did I just see a picture of your dog on a mat in the middle of your pool?

Anna: HAHAHA Yes you did! She’s so annoying! She wouldn’t let me lay under the sun because she just keeps laying on top of me and licking me all over so I have to get on the mat on the pool but now she jumps in there too. There’s no scape!

Luke: Well they say love between two female dogs is the strongest ;)

Anna: Mate then if you come here, she’ll go crazy!

Luke: Crazy jealous of seeing me with you

Anna: Haha She’s not jealous and I’m sure she’ll love you, don’t you know they say dogs do like their owners?

Luke: Somehow that was actually beautiful. If you keep it up with those you’ll have my heart in no time.

Anna: Good then :)

Luke: Good :)

- --- -

Harry

Harry: Tell me another song.

Anna: You already learnt the last one? Man you’re fast.

Harry: There’s nothing to do but play the guitar at my sister’s.

Anna sent a song. Andrew Belle Pieces Acoustic

Anna: I love that song and I think it’s easy on the guitar. You can learn it so you can sing it to me when you ask me to be your girlfriend.

Harry: hahahaha I’ll hire eight to ten mariachis for that. I’ll search the chords but yeah it seems easy and I like it too. Thanks, muse.

Anna: Haha you’re welcome, artist

Harry: I think I can learn it and sing it to you on Tueday when I’m home

Anna: Wait, you’re coming home on Tuesday already? :)

Harry: hahaha no, I’m only passing by but I’ll stay a day or two.

Anna: What for?

Harry: I’m picking Mum up from the aiport and then we’re driving back to my sister’s.

Anna: Oh, thank God, I thought you were just passing by because you couldn’t live without me and I was thinking how is this guy going to handle next year when I’m gone?

Harry: Please don’t remind me. And even though it’s true I can’t live without you, that’s not the reason I’m driving three hours there and three hours back as you can see. Anyway, when the fuck are you coming to visit? Because I saw Cody two days ago and I told him something and I said “don’t tell anyone, not even Anna” and he said “no I won’t tell her because I want to see her face when you tell her”

Anna: Hahaha I love that that’s the reason he won’t tell me. So you’re not telling me either until I go visit you.

Harry: That’s right, you got it.

Anna: Okay well I’ll go after you pick up your mum from the airport.

Harry: In fact, why don’t you come up with us?

Anna: In your car?

Harry: Yes, I’ll respect speed limits this time, don’t you see my mum will be in the car too?

Anna: A three hours ride with your mum and you? Haha And then how do I get home?

Harry: I can drive you.

Anna: Three hours here and three hours back?

Harry: I could still a day or two too. That way we’ll spend more time together too.

Anna: Mmm I’ll think about it.

Harry: I don’t wanna beg but I will if I have to

Anna: Haha you don’t have to. I’ll take it as the beginning of our visits. I visit you at your sister’s, you visit me in Italy.

Harry: Right cause it’s the same thing haha

Anna: You have to come anyway, otherwise I’ll step on your throat and never talk to you ever again.

Harry: Wow, so agressive. I don’t know what’s worse.

Anna: That’s sweet? I guess?

Harry: Haha Well, I’ll go but then you’ll have to come visit me when I move to Norway.

Anna: You’re not moving to Norway because I don’t want to live there. It’s too cold.

Harry: I don’t want you to go to Italy and you’re going anyway.

Anna: It’s not the same because Italy is closer and the weather is nicer and I’m coming back. I’m not moving, it’s just a scolarship. Just wait for me, when I’m back I’ll confess my love to you.

Harry: Didn’t you just do it? Now I won’t be able to look surprise when you get on one knee and ask me to marry you.

Anna: Well I wasn’t going to ask you to marry me so soon. I was just going to ask you to be my plus one to the family reunion, like my formal boyfriend as my grandma calls it.

Harry: I thought that was Cody?

Anna: Cody is my brother.

Harry: Does he know that?

Anna: Cody is gay. You know what? I’ll have to invite another guy who understands my relationship with Cody. He’s more than a friend but less than a lover. You had everything Harry, if only you had understood that...

Harry sent a photo.

Harry: Cody says “siblings don’t know the way you taste”

Anna: Cody if I end up single because of you I swear to God I’ll cut you from your throat to your anus and I’ll hang you from the wall like a salami.

Harry: HAHAHAHAHA Don’t worry Annie. You won’t end up single.

Anna: Well I don’t know because Norway is far away and it’s too cold and they see so little sun :(

Harry: Well okay, you win, I’ll stay home.

Anna: I mean we can go elsewhere if you hate home so much. Just somewhere not that cold.

Harry: I don’t care where if it’s with you.

Anna: Oh, I love you.

Harry: I love you too.

- --- -

Luke

Anna: Remember when you told me I was going to break my back one of these days? I think the day has arrived :(

Luke: What do you mean? Are you okay?

Anna: My back hurts a lot :( I need a massage.

Luke: Does your back really hurts or you just want a massage? haha

Anna: Well you’re a physical therapist, aren’t you?

Luke: Student*

Anna: And you’ve never given me a massage

Luke: I was going to say you’re a med student and you’ve never heal me but that would be lying

Anna: That’s right. That’s why you need to give me a massage, a good one that leaves me with a feeling of euphoria and light-weight

Luke: HAHAHAHA I’m so sorry to inform you I don’t think I can do that. So far I can only give therapeutic massages and trust me they don’t live you ephoric and light-weighted lol If you want euphoria you should try drugs

Anna: Man you’re idiotic. I had made the joke so easy for you, it’s practically told on its own but you let the opportunity passed. I’ll remember this.

Luke: You mean I have to get myself another girl who actually appreciates my therapeutic massages?

Anna: I think I could get over it

Luke: Well I guess it was beautiful while it lasted Anna.

Anna: No, no, I take it back. Don’t get yourself another girl.

Luke: hahahahaha what is it gonna be?

Anna: Actually if you want, try to get yourself another girl. Let’s see if you can find some who washes your hair like I did.

Luke: lol okay after this reflection time I’ve decided to keep you but on one condition: next time, don’t wash just my hair ;)

Anna: Well alright but I hope you know what you’re doing and by that I mean if you fall hopelessly in love with me I won’t be responsible for that

Luke: hahahahaha I think I’ll take that risk

Anna: Good ;)

Luke: Anna my nose is bleeding. Come heal me.

Anna: Are you serious? You’re always giving things to do haha What’s your problem?

Luke: You are! Nah, really I’ve always been a lot of work

Anna: Well that’s good, entertaining

Luke: Yeah, I was very naughty when I was a little boy

Anna: So was I. I know it’s hard to believe because I’m adorable

Luke: It actually doesn’t surprise me from you haha I just used to play hide and seek without warning. Mum wasn’t happy about it haha What was your problem?

Anna: I was just evil. My mum always tells the same story to illustrate my wickedness. When I was four years old I filled the bathtub and told my older brother that mum wanted him to have a bath with his clothes on so he did and then when mum found him I said “mum look! My brother got on the tub with his clothes on!”

Luke: HAHAHAHA that’s just cruel!

Anna: yeah I know, I’m not oroud

lroud*

proid*

proud* FUCK

Luke: HAHAHA what’s wrong with you?

Anna: I get nervous talking to you Luke

Luke: I can tell haha Don’t be

Anna: Well what’s important is that I’m not evil anymore. Now I’m only naughty in my room ;)

Luke: Now it’s you who’s making me nervous hahaha

Anna sent a photo.

Luke: And now you sent a picture of baby Anna after making me think of you being naughty in your room. I don’t know how I feel about that haha But you had such a good girl’s face! In fact you still do. Those are the worst...

Anna: I want to see a picture of baby Luke

Luke: Oh, I wish I had one here but I don’t.

Anna: Don’t worry, your mum will show them to me when she embarrasses you showing me pictures of little Luke nude like all mothers-in-law do

Luke: Impossible. I look cute in all of them.

Luke sent a photo.

Luke: My mum just me that one with my brother.

Anna: Which one are you?

Luke: That’s what I was going to ask you ;)

Anna: I hope you’re the one smiling into the camera.

Luke: Do you really not recognize your future husband?

Anna: Haha just tell me who you are! I’m going crazy with the zoom. The two of you are crazily cute anyway, my man and my brother-in-law even though I don’t know which one is you.

Luke: lol okay well when we were little people thought we were twins so I’ll let you live with this because of that... I’m the one looking into the camera

Anna: Really? Yay! The one I wanted! Our kids will be so cute!

Luke: As babies yes, then they’ll grow and get uglier like we all do

Anna: They won’t if they look like their dad. See how nice I am? You just get your brother in the bathtub once and you’re the devil.

Luke: hahaha yeah how can I trust you won’t get our kids on the bathtub with clothes on just for fun? And btw I didn’t even know you have a brother?

Anna: Yeah well he doesn’t live home anymore but yes I do, he’s one year older than me.

Luke: Really?

Anna: Yes, Dylan’s the name of your brother-in-law

Luke: Mate, I know nothing about your life and you know everything about mine haha

Anna: I’m very shy

Luke: Yeah, with me you are but I reckon that’s because I make you nervous... Oh I didn’t tell you! You know my hair is blond where the scar is? Because of you and the oxygenated water lol

Anna: Oh boy, really? I’m sorry!

Luke: Don’t be. I like it, it reminds me of you.

Anna: Oh <3 I’m gonna tell you something but don’t let it get to your head. I’ve looked up in our thread to when you told me you were coming back in five days because it’s feeling like an eternity. I mean if that’s not something a kind person would do, I don’t know what is...

Luke: Aaww Of course I know you’re kind- you’ve been nothing but kind to me- and it’s okay that you miss me, I miss you a lot too :) But don’t let it get to your head either hey?

Anna: Don’t let it get to your head he says... Tonight I’m sleeping like this :D

Luke: To be fair you won me over tonight with that looking up in the thread thing. If only we slept together tonight...

Anna: Slept... lol

Luke: What? haha What else would we do, young lady?

Anna: Well you know... Watch Disney movies... Or read French poetry

Luke: Read French poetry haha You’ll have to read it to me cause I don’t speak French but we can hang out one day for you to read French poems to me. But just for that.

Anna: Just for that.

Luke: I gotta run but before I go I want to tell you that I’ve laughed a lot with you tonight and that you really always make me happier. Good night princess X

Anna: Just come back

Luke: I wish

- --- -

Harry

Anna: I’m home. I love you a lot <3

Harry sent a voice mail.

Anna: I didn’t get anything you just said haha you’re so wasted Harry

Harry sent a voice mail.

Anna: I would have gone home with you. You just had to invite me officialy. Then I would have gone. But you didn’t.

This message was erased

Harry sent a voice mail.

Anna: HAHAHAHAHA

Harry: I erased the other three voice mails because I listened to them and I thought they were so pathetic... I mean if this wasted I thought they were bad, just imagine how pathetic they must have been

Anna: More pathetic than you bailing out on that naked girl at the beach?

Harry: Oh, don’t remind me

Anna: haha it makes sense now that Cody would want to see my face when you told me haha And there I was thinking you got all the girls

Harry: See? I told you I suck at it. But anyway I did good. Her friend told me she does that with all the guys.

Anna: So what? Her friend was just jealous.

Harry: Well, that’s okay. If she wants me, she’ll have to proposition me again knowing I’m a slow guy.

Anna: Oh how I wish I was her

Harry: Dude, don’t tell me those things! You love teasing me. You know you just gotta say the word.

Anna: That’s not true haha You just told me you liked this Maria girl!

Harry: Well she’s not you.

Anna: You should have officially invited me home

Harry: Dude I’m retarded. I just dig my own grave... But anyway if it means anything, even if you had come over... I’m so drunk I think when I get home I’ll just probably hit my head against the door of my room and fall on a coma on the corridor.

Anna: Hahahaha you’re the funniest person I know I love you! But anyway I just wanted to sleep with you. Maybe even cuddle. Nothing more. I mean the other thing... I used to want it but... After the Maria thing... I am not so sure...

Harry: Look Maria has nothing on you but anyway I’m reaching negative levels of dignity so I better just shut up. And fyi cuddling with me is such a privilege. I might even let you be the little spoon.

Anna: I should have gone home with you but boy your “you can crush at my place... if you want” didn’t seem like the kind of invite one takes. But anyway I should have accepted because we would spoon each other now but tomorrow morning... I’d wake up good.

Harry: Fuck.

Anna: hahahah no, but really I give up on you. I didn’t know there was this Maria girl who has a history with you... I’ll just wait.

Harry: Listen Anna, Maria is just a hook up. Well not even because I’m retarded but she’s just a girl. You are.... I love you. When you come back from Italy I’ll be waiting for you.

Anna: Don’t say things you don’t mean.

Harry: Now that’s the pot calling the kettle back.

Anna: You’re just drunk haha And so am I. I am actually making myself some soup.

Harry: I wish you were cooking for me.

Anna: Plus I’m on my underwear.

A thong.

Harry: Fuck me.

Anna: hahaha

Harry: Well no, fuck you. I’m gonna have a shower.

Anna: At 4.30 am?

Harry: I could shower with you but no, the lady had to take an uber and go to her house and make vegetable soup. Fuck ubers.

Anna: hahaha I’m not going to Italy

Harry: I wish

Anna: I wish I was your room so you’d always sleep inside me.

Harry: Fuck. That’s it. If you keep it up when you actually want to fuck me you’re gonna have to tell me “Harry make me yours” or I won’t take you seriously.

Anna: Harry between joke and joke the truth is shown.

Harry: yeah, go on

Anna: hahaha just come see me when I’m in Italy

Harry: And then we’ll fuck?

Anna: hahaha

Harry: I hate you. I’m going to bed. I don’t hate you, I love you.

Anna: Love you too X

- --- -

Luke

Luke: So what plans do you have for august?

Anna: None haha I want to save money for Italy so I’m not going anywhere.

Luke: Good! I’m staying home too.

Anna: Nice! Do you want to go watch the Lion King to the movies?

Luke: Yes, I’d love to! What theatre do you usually go to?

Anna: Well this summer I’ve gone to the Odeon a couple times, I’ve also been to Icedure and obviously my beloved Eastside Movies in my hood but don’t worry I won’t make you come all the way to my hood haha

Luke: No, that’s fine! I can drive there and you can show me around. I’ve never been on the suburbs :)

Anna: Are you serious? haha

Luke: Sure! It’s fine for me but whatever you want is fine by me really.

Anna: Okay well that would be very sweet of you actually! I can take you to the bars too! You’ll see how cool they are. You’ll be my third visitor :)

Luke: Cool haha Really? You poor thing! Well you can get happy because I’m the third visitor :)

Anna: I am happy! You’re the best!

Luke: Don’t make me blush... I just want you to worship me like a god.

Anna: Give me a massage which makes my toes curl and I will

Luke: hahahahaha so it’s not impossible! I’ll fight for it.

Anna: The day you finally give me a massage I’ll have to look for another goal in my life. Maybe I even start crying because I’ll feel happy but empty in a way like- what now?

Luke: hahaha Thank God you explained it cause otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do about the crying. Well, don’t get your expectations too high or I won’t be able to please you

Anna: I’m sure you’ll be able

Luke: 100% sure?

Anna: 100%

Luke: Thank God

Anna: I trust you on this massage because I trust you on everything, except on changing lanes on the road.

Luke: hahaha that was all Harry’s fault, the bastard sped up.

Anna: Sure

Luke: If you want to see how good of a driver I am, I’ll give you a ride when we go to the movies

Anna: I know you’re a good driver, silly. Everyone says so.

Luke: Who’s everyone?

Anna: Cody, Zara and Harry.

Luke: Harry? Lol I wasn’t expecting that

Anna: Haha he said you’re a good driver even though every time you’ve driven him somewhere you’ve gotten nervous and mess up a little

Luke: That’s not true! Fucking liar!

Anna: Haha that’s what he said

Luke: Well, looking at it from the bright side, this just means you’ve been around talking about me and my driving skills... This proves how you can’t stop thinking about me.

Anna: That’s right. I have another plan for us but we’ll have to do it some other day

And the plan as well ;)

Because otherwise it’ll just be a way too cool day.

Luke: hahahahaha I’m all ears

Anna: There’s a pub with a pool table. I’ll win whenever you want ;)

Luke: Wow you’re talking to the pool master

Anna: Then you already won cause I’ve never played haha Just always wanted to

Luke: haha really? That’s cute haha I’m pretty good at getting it in the hole

The ball

Shit I didn’t do it right

And the ball too*

Fuck, too late.

Anna: HAHAHAHA you’re so adorable

Luke: Not too much I hope haha Well whenever you want

Anna: Whenever I want what?

Luke: The pool ;)

Anna: Alright.

Luke: Practice some first because otherwise I’ll get bored...

Anna: If I eventually win I’ll never let you leave this behind

Luke: You wanna bet, clown?

Anna: Whatever you want.

Luke: Go. Just ask.

Anna: Mmm... Well you already know what I want.

Luke: True. You know what I want too.

Anna: Do I? I don’t remember now.

Luke: I want a full body wash of course.

Anna: HAHAHA

Luke: Nah, I’ll have to think about it.

Anna: That was funny. Unexpected and funny. 1000 points for the man with the scar.

Luke: hahaha I really want that but I’ll think of something for general audience. What you want is the massage, right?

Anna: How clever, how wonderful.

Luke: See? Now I just have to think about what I want...

Anna: Shouldn’t be so hard

Luke: Do you have any suggestions? Any secret talents that I might want to benefit from?

Anna: You tell me but don’t be shy because in the face of the vice of asking, there’s the virtue of not giving.

Luke: I want something that implicates my five senses. You gotta work with that.

Anna: Done.

Luke: What do you mean done?

Anna: I already know what I’ll give you if you win.

Luke: Well what is it?

Anna: Win and you’ll find out ;)

- --- -

Harry

Anna sent a voice mail.

Harry: HAHAHAHAHA I love your family

Anna sent a voice mail.

Anna sent a video.

Harry: HAHAHAHAHA LOL Mate! Your brother is God! He does not have the voice you say he has. And he looks a lot like you.

Anna: That’s only because he’s not giving me a lecture in the video.

Harry: Seriously I’m still laughing. Eventually you’re going to get me to date you just so I can be a part of your family. In our anniversary I’ll be like “I’m hanging out with your brother”

Anna: HAHAHAHA No way, you’re going to fall in love with me. I’ll make it, Harry.

Harry: Sure...

Anna: I just haven’t started my plan yet because I’m going away for ten whole months

Harry: Nah, you already did. The problem is just that, that you’re going away and you’re going to break my heart. Cody and I were talking about it the other day and we almost cry out there like the two grown up men that we are.

Anna: I’m going to miss you both so much.

Harry: He said he had considered hacking the ministry of justice so he could give you a criminal record and you wouldn’t be allowed to leave the country but that then you wouldn’t be able to be a doctor either so he couldn’t do it.

Anna: lol these are the reasons I don’t want to go to Italy...

Harry: I wish I had known you like this before you asked for the fucking scolarship. I would have convinced you to stay.

Anna: No, you wouldn’t. You’d be supportive of me because you’re an angel.

Harry: I’m very selfish. I think I would have made you stay with me and for me.

Anna: You probably wouldn’t have gotten my hints and wouldn’t even know I liked you.

Harry: Truer words have never been spoken, especially considering it’s you we’re talking about, the queen of inappropriate jokes.

Anna: Yeah I know I joked too much about it. When I come back from Italy, I’m gonna have to press reset. Otherwise you’ll never know.

Harry: Exactly. Well, maybe when you come back from Italy I’m already married.

Anna: Well in that case I’d abandon my plan of conquest.

Harry: Don’t.

- --- -

Luke

Anna: Hey! Do you still want to go to see The Lion King? I mean since you’re so “fed up” with home blablabla I thought maybe you didn’t even want to go anymore.

Luke: But what does one thing have to do with the other? Sure I want to.

Anna: Okay, cool. When?

Luke: If you’re the one who doesn’t want to go just say it ;)

Anna: I’ll go with you anywhere even though you say I’m usless as a co-driver, you wouldn’t let me drive your car, you tell me I’m not singing when I am and you don’t want to have a swim with me...

Luke: All of that is completely taken out of context haha

Anna: I beg to differ

Luke: I was gonna tell you you were lying but actually all of that is true except from the swimming part because I am dying to go swimming with you. You were driving me crazy with your fucking bikini today.

Anna: You’re such a liar. You are the one who’s going to drive me crazy. I actually hate you for that.

Luke: I’ll take it because there isn’t love without a bit of hate.

Anna: You’re the worst.

Luke: xx

Anna: I’m gonna play the piano. Fuck you.

Luke: Yes, play some so you don’t sound like a robot next time ;)

Anna: Excuse me? I won’t play for you ever again for saying that, mister.

Luke: No! Please do play for me! You were the one who said that!

Anna: But it’s not the same when I say it that when the man of my dreams agree...

Luke: Who is the man of your dreams?

Anna: You know what? I’ll stop so you don’t have to play it dumb anymore hahaha

Luke: I like playing dumb :)

Anna: Sometimes I really think you’re not even playing... Like you just are that dumn.

Luke: What are your plans for tomorrow?

Anna: Idk

Luke: Okay then we’re going to the movies. I’ll pick you up and you show me the way. I checked and they’re showing it at 19, 20.30, 21.30 and 22. Which one do you prefer?

Anna: I think 20.30?

Luke: Cool!

Anna: You can still bail out. I mean if you want to go to another theatre that’s closer I understand.

Luke: Oh boy, how many times do I have to tell you? If you don’t want to go there you can say it haha

Anna: No, no, it’s perfect for me.

Luke: Cool, it’s perfect for me too.

Anna: Okay, then see you tomorrow.

Luke: Can’t wait xx

48 notes · View notes

fairysmolsxoxo · 5 years ago

Text

Unwarranted Destruction before Halloween!

MOMMA JADE GET HURT BUT GET NEW BITTIES AND ITEMS TO ADD TO THE SHOP!

It was a quiet evening at the shop,with Al managing the front and the little market while Jade is away on business. It was slow and the caretaker decided to get some new ingredients for the new items to introduce into the shop. Halloween is coming up after all and the shop itself is pretty empty. The shopkeeper and alpha dragon skeleton bitty agreed that it will be a nice change of pace...And there is hardly any excitement in the front end, while in the back in the her packs and prides is a whole different story. So Jade gave him the duty of being the Shop Manager for the time being.Though it was getting late, Jade usually comes back around this time yet none have yet to see her. Al was getting worried, he even called up Shy and the other adoption centers that Jade had recently visited but no one had seen her…

That until... there was an explosion coming from Jade's living quarters...And the sound of a familiar yet eerie scream of pain echoed throughout the shop...It made all the bitties magical essence that all their creators that put the time and love into, to give them life? It felt like all their life had been sucked out of them when they know who's scream it was…

Jade.

Every submissive and child bitty started to cry confused and scared at the scary scream…

Why is Momma/Missus/Mistress/Jade screamed? Is she okay? She has to be right? Please be okay!

Every calm minded bitty quickly was set on alert as they went around to keep the rest of their pack safe and ready for the word of the alphas on their command… Some even started to patrol that area.

Every aggressive bitty that was kept away from the rest of them in their own started to claw their cages their doors was crawling their prison…The scent of blood and the scream made them have even more need for violence...

WHO HAD HURTED WHAT WAS THEIRS!

All the leaders of the packs and pride let out a snarl their body and soul screamed in the most primal way…

MUST PROTECT! MUST SAVE JADE!

Al teleported just a few feet away from the closed door of Jade's Room and He was soon joined up with the leaders of each pack and lone pride.

Navy, Jade's Alpha Sans "Prince" bitty and the Head of The Night Wind Whispers Pride was the second to appear before Al… He usually stoic and cold expression and personality that he had shown toward bitties that isn't in his pride and the other alphas is replaced with tense irritation and concern toward his caretaker as he nodded at Al in acknowledgement. Both Marigold, Jade's Alpha Papyrus " Stray" bitty who is in charge of the Blood Venom Sky Pack and Ramil, Jade's Alpha Grillby bitty, head of Golden Sun Burst Pride was sprinting quickly toward the room. Marigold was snarling as he charged through and slammed the door open, followed by his Alpha Leads. All of them cried out their fairy caretaker name to be greeted by the sight of her room in shambles and abominations in what was left of her room…

They did not see the fairy but a sobbing voice of the fairy made it clear...They need to defend...They need to protect...They need to kill…!

The Aftermath

It took awhile for the Alphas to get rid of the monstrosities but they made quick work, leaving a big mess behind...They were tired and tried to listen for the fairy but the sobbing stopped halfway during the battle...They calls out the fairy's name…

But no one answered…

That til a few moments of silence later, a pile of destroyed piles of rumble started to shift and shake as a figure started to get out and under it. It was Jade, clearly hurt with cuts but that wasn't the only thing that was different about her...She looked a little nightmarish than her usual self...She seems relieved for some reason but also annoyed as she tried to morph herself back toward her more friendly form...but it deemed useless...She was injured in a way that she can't control her magic to shift back to her usual form...It would take some time to heal and it is a little annoying...At least no one saw her true form when she was injured from earlier by the beasts...She never want anyone to see her like that...at least her appearance is much preferred and it matches with Halloween. She seems calm now and the Alphas quickly mothered her as soon as she stood out of the rumble...She whined at the attention as she eyed the remains of the abominations in what used to be her room and her doorway toward her lab…

Hours later… Jade appears with her more Halloween theme appearance with still a gentle smile on her face.

Jade: Hello my favorite dreamers…It is your friendly bitty loving dream fairy...I must apologize for my current appearance… It seems like my encounter with the unsavory sort, have made my magic glamour gone all haywire...So instead of taking off my glamour or overexerting myself with no desired results,I have managed to make a different appearance for the time being...just until my magic get sorted all out… Thank goodness for my adeptness in all sorts of dreams and illusions...So bonus points being a jack of all trades with that…

But worry not after all this experience, Al had made it his goal to keep me coop in the safety of the shop and quarantine my room and portal doors to the Realms...Just until things calm down I hope..

That being said… I hate being here… bored...with nothing to do...So I have some exciting news!

We got some new companions to add to the shop! Along with some amazing new staff who will be introducing these delightful yet spooky treats and exclusive items for the month of Halloween and The Days of the Dead!

Please come and introduce yourselves everyone!

Monty: Ello' I am Montgomery Duvall...Please call me Monty… I am human?At least from what I know…I used to have a business of my own...that I had to close down because…*He cleared his throat.* of my personal problems..I will be taking over as a part-time caretaker for Ms. Jade bitties at the store and would be taking care of the delicious confectionery and delights of the store… I have a bit of experience with management and done some cooking as a hobby… I also worked at a bitty center recently. So I have some experience in that department as well...

Jade: *pushed the old gentleman aside* He is much too humble I swear! He is going to be the entrepreneur who is going to help start up better alternatives for our bitties nutrition! So what you are going to see in our food display is going to be from his amazing mind!

Monty: *blushes* Ms. Jade please...no need to praise an old man like me…

Jade: Nonsense! You are an amazing human…

*Another figure stepped before them, a small timeless young Japanese woman stepped in a kimono. She look like any normal girl if only it weren't for her hair that seems to move around like it was a part of her...Like her hands…This was Mina, she was monster from where Jade was from. She was close acquaintances of Jade she still lived there...She was a Futakuchi onna...a yokai..Japanese spirit or monster… Even her hair was pulled up in a loose bun, what is hidden underneath will show you why she is a monster...*

Mina: Konnichiwa...I am Mina it is a pleasure to be here and be in presence… I am going to be Monty-san partner in the food department. I am the person who is going to help his ideas come to life in the things we cook. I am quite the expert when it comes to making food and tasting it. It will be quite desirable...I specialize magic infused food though I have experience in some human cuisine as well...

*Monty let out a sigh, having to deal with Mina quite well at this point, he knows of her sneaky eating habits… He could see the hungry glint in her eyes*

Monty: Ms. Mina...please refrain from eating our examples… We had to do several tiring and time consuming replacements, over the course of several accidents...

Mina: *Pouts* I have been good, what sort of person you think I am? * Both her and her new elderly acquaintance started to head back toward the small cafe located near the front desk of the bitty shoppe*

*Monty and Mina started to get the future item for this month in big trays…*

CAFE HOT ITEMS OF THE MONTH

FLUFFY PLUMPKIN FUDGE

This irresistible sweet is great for all humans and monsters all alike who like a little sweetness in your day or night.

This mildly buttery smooth,light yet creamy delight is excellent for this time of year when welcoming the autumn weather and scenery. Don't eat too much of this though, it may be good for the heart and soul but too much of this addicting sweet, will cause the bitty or humans get plump in certain areas like the stomach, chest, hips and rump…

SPOOKY SHADOW MANGO AND PINESONIOUS TART

This delicious sweet yet sour treat is literary borderline poisonous to make.One wrong move, this treat can be down right deadly. But if done right, it can be quite refreshingly sweet and have healing properties, especially toward other infections and heal terminally sick humans and bitties. Make sure that your chef is well versed in with their ingredients and a well educated doctor is nearby, just in case. Must sign a waiver if it just for the thrill or taste these delight. So are you are willing to take the risk and sign your death wish?

ABYSS MUSHROOM AND GARLIC STRUDEL

This pastry literary came from the abyss! Don't ask how our dreamy fairy got her hands on these rare ingredients to make these but do know it is quite a pain to get them. But it is the number one item back home that the majority females, foodie, health and fanatics sought for. This is a strudel not only it won't cause you to gain weight from eating it, but also eat your weight away. Well technically not eat away but store it elsewhere. Don't worry it effects are quite safe. It is all different for everyone but know this after a couple of days will stop it effects. Get it while it lasts!

STARBAKED BUN BUNS ASSORTED

This treat comes in sweet and savory fillings that makes you come back hungry for more. It's just that you need to have the speed and determination to catch it. Prefect for your more active bitties and humans that wants a little challenge catching their food or bitties have the need to hunt something “live”. As of right now for the month of halloween the bun buns will have a little more monstrous appearance and more of a spattering filling when bitten into.

FAIRY BERRIES

Inspired by the different fairies back home and words from another bitty caretaker that Jade looks up to , these little delightful creations are certainly fun to catch and eat. Having different various set of wings and fruits, these are perfect for staying in a healthy diet while having fun at the same time as you dance with these fluttery snacks. Ideal with bitties that want a little change in their meaty diet and have something sweet with still the fun of being the hunter. Great for baby bitties and beginners.

OVEN-BAKED FOG FOWL PIE

A savory tasty pie for all races, the fog fowl is quite hard to catch due to is shapeshifting way of hiding and avoiding beings, but true a delicacy back home for Jade. And a luxury item to make, once you eat this fowl beast, it will provide a sharpness of the mind and improvement of stamina and energy. This is great for those sluggish days off for both humans and monsters. You will have energy and stamina for days Get it now for a limited time only. These fowls are hard to come by after all. Side effects include a sudden lightheadedness, nausea, lack of sleep, and sudden fatigue out of nowhere. Basically crash and burn out of energy ten-fold. So heed this warning...

ASSORTED SKELE-WITCHES

Just decent stacked sandwiches made and shaped as your favorite skeletons of your choosing with witch/wizard hat or riding a broom. Made by human hands, Monty’s specifically. Safe for everyone...Monty works so hard on these...Don’t shame him...

CEREAL KILLER DONUT

Another Monty idea but infused with Mina magic, this scary horror pastry topped with your favorite cereal shaped into a little murderous killer that will come after you. But worry not, due to their squishy insides and their less than intimating "weapons", they will kill you with their cuteness instead. Little angry muffed yells and grunts as they try to kill you with their pretzel pitchforks… Will definitely make you scream in laughter instead. Though hurry and eat them while they are fresh, before they figure out that their weapons are stupid and look for stuff they can use to actually hurt you…

TALL DARK AND MURDER COFFEE

Normal coffee...Were expecting more?...Of course you were! The coffee beans are potent! These beans were carefully harvested from the Land of Nightmares.These are for those who want to stay up a few days before during the days of the dead or planning something big that requires no sleep? This is the coffee for you, for experienced coffee drinkers that needs more oomph than the plain normal human coffee. Must drink one cup a day and no more! If drink more than 1,it effects will last for more than a week depending on how many cups you drunk...You will develop hallucinations and maybe see an entity that follows you around...waiting for the moment you finally crash...and well sweep your soul away...Not before scaring you and cause the most horrible nightmares you have ever faced…It is advised that you seek the local dream fairy, Jade(despite her constant warnings and the waiver you signed) as soon as you see them so their hold on you aren't strong…Your local dream fairy will try her best to deal with the situation but keep in mind...This is a dangerous situation that you could have prevented if you had only listened, so be prepared to trade something of equal value… Something that will cause you utter despair and can not live without can't not replace… Don't lie because both local dream fairy and the entity knows… Make the right decision or it will murder your soul one way or another… Please don't let your bitty have a sip of this since they are more prone to this and these entities would love little morsels like them...

CHILLING DIRTY CHAI LATTE

If you need that coffee pick-me-up as you pass out candy on Halloween but aren’t a huge fan of pumpkin flavor, you may love the homemade dirty chai latte. If you want to make it extra dirty for those legal adults out there we will offer some pick me up concoctions from your friendly fairy to add to delicious drink.

BLOODCURDLING I SCREAM

This creamy cold delight was made with the crushed teeth of ice wraiths...And of course being magical they will make the ice cream enchanted to stay cold for a long time. And it will scream as you take a bite out of them. Not in pain but just because they wish to not interact with anything. The screams are small, squeaky and quite exaggerated. Like " Ahh!.... Ahh!..." like it was trying to process what their next word should be...Don't worry if you think the screaming is annoying, just scoop where their screaming mouths would be and there no more screaming and you can enjoy the treat. It comes in common human flavors and new ones that Jade that bring back from home...

TRICE MICE

Enchanted little candy mice that has three layers. A candy coat, a chocolate coat, nougat center. . You saw right there are mice in the kitchen but don’t fret, health inspectors or lawsuits won’t hit these store anytime soon. these It is so good that will make all you chocolate lovers want some even though the scurry around and those who are a bit afraid of their counterpart reconsider.

*Monty let out a soft smile as both him and Mina finished introducing those new treats.*

Monty: These are the items we order in the cafe as of right now… But we also cater to all our customers needs...So of their any item you want, we shall make it our goal to provide it for you…

Jade’s Medical Counter

ROCK A BYE SLEEPIES

ENCHANTED GUMMY SHEEPS THAT YOU OR YOUR BITTIES TAKE IF YOU HAVE A BAD CASE OF INSOMNIA. JUST TAKE A SMALL BITE OF IT AND IT WILL COME TO LIFE AND MULTIPLY AND HELP YOU COUNT TO SLEEP OR THE LESS TRADITIONAL WAY, CUDDLE UP TO YOU OR INTERACT WITH IN A WAY TO HELP YOU SLEEP. ONCE THE MEDICINAL EFFECTS HAD TAKEN OVER THE SHEEP WILL MORPH BACK INTO ONE AND JUMP INTO YOUR MOUTH. IT DISSOLVES INSTANTLY.

STELLAR HUFF AND PUFF DROPS

THIS STARRY SHAPE WILL MAKE YOUR BITTY WANT TO TAKE THIS MEDICINAL CANDY. THIS WILL HELP ANY BITTY IF THEY ARE FEELING SICK AND LESS ENERGETIC THAN USUAL. COUGHING AND SNIFFLING BEGONE AS THIS STELLAR CANDY IS EATEN. JUST TAKE THIS THREE TIMES A DAY PLEASE.

HEAL YEAH WOUNDS WRAPS

These magical wraps will help heal lacerations or scratches more quickly than any normal bandage. These are soaked from plants from Jade's home and is high with magical healing properties.

STARMINT CHEWS

These chews will brighten anyone's day with a smile or fresh breath. Eating these will help your bitty teeth glow and grow strong and bright with minty freshness that is out of this world. Beneficial for skeleton bitties.

LEMONY GINGER BITES

Citrusy and ginger mixed together to help with that sore throat or rasp. But these bites back, well more like gumming since they are gummies and it doesn't hurt you when it bite. Those who likes gimmicks and enjoy the soothing sensation of their sore throat melting away.

*Jade smiles sheepishly at her stock. *

Jade: This seem to be the only items I can provide at the moment but I will come up with new ones I promise! And unfortunately, we still need a tailor but it is okay...*She grins excitingly as her wings fluttered* Now the main event! You see during the mishap with the abominations destroying my room...They possibly... well... got into my lab and my bitties samples got well...contaminated with these dark creatures… They are still amazing mind you and I love them all the same!

*She went into the back and brought out a basket that is covered with a blanket. She had a mischievous look on her face as she pulled the blanket away.*

MEET MY DARLING DARK INTUNED BITTIES!

Sugar Bites: ( a zombie candy-gore candied dragon skeleton. A monster kid variant.)

This precious one was going to be part of the angelic series of her bitties but the dark magic got to him first. He is made from candy and from his ectoplasm, horns, bones made from strong sugar and accessories. He is candy. Though he is a zombie as well...He is a zombie that likes eating candy...so you get the picture what he does to himself since he is close proximity to himself… To prevent from the bitty eating itself you need a durable muzzle to put on this sweetie and feed them candy daily. Don't take the candy away from his ectobelly please he needs it. Baby will cry. Don't eat the baby, he already knows he is delicious. Besides that he is a healthy bitty that tries to get along with everyone, if not a little hyper from his sugar intake.

BC: ( bad luck shadow cat skeleton. A sans variant.)

This bitty oozes bad luck, not like he wanted to...it was just how he is made. And it took him and his creator a few cuts and bruises to get his magic under control. He is aloof bitty with a permanent grin on his face and bones as black as the night. He loves to be in the shadows and often hangs around those younger and innocent...Not because they are cute and needs protecting...he likes to tease them and give them a little bad luck. He loves scaring them too...Though he means no harm...Don't be alarm when bad luck suddenly happens to you for the first few days of keeping this bitty. He is cautious and always will always know that he has a loving place to return to if he deems the owner unsuitable for him. Though once he realizes he is here to stay and you actually care about him, expect this mischievous feline to wake you up with him laying on your face and him constantly meowing for food, when you know well that he could talk...He also your personal stalker...He goes everywhere with you as long you have a shadow. He will be there...no buts and if about it...He won't be upfront with confrontation but he is vindictive...and has a quiet fury when it comes with the people he cares about...So if your bully suddenly gets pooped on by seagull then suddenly gets a thousand more seagulls droppings...You know who did it...He won't stop either...even if you tell him to stop...he will feel bad and make sure that he torture your bully more selectively and quietly when you are not around...as I said he is a vengeful thing…

Omen: ( Voodoo Doll...Nice Cream Guy variant )

This bitty is bigger than most nice cream guy bitties and more plush than most but you best not to underestimate him. This fluffy bitty can curse you if you ever look at him wrong. He is jaded to most of his emotions due to the fact he is a doll for curses and he could always transfer his pain somewhere else to the person he decided to curse...He is an amazing addition to the family and can easily be mended up. He has his own soft toy soul that he usually keep it away from his body. He will only hand it to the person who he trusts and those who his soul get to control him...Though I recommend not to...Let him be your plush buddy and let him keep his soul close to you can see the bae give you those rare happy buck tooth smiles. He comes in different varieties from the brownish coloring with X button eyes to the typical pure black with skeleton markings...We also have the original coloring… Though we have different varieties of "skins" that if you want to change his looks available. It is like changing clothes for the Omen bitty and won't hurt him. If remove his outer layer, he will disappear momentarily. Don't fret though, as long you let him know that you want him to change into a different layer. And leave the "skin" you want him to change into where he disappeared... He will disappear where his soul is (which is always nearby)...

Make you compliment him on his new look when he appears again afterward because he will love you for it…

*Jade smiles gently as she pet them affectionately.*

Jade: As of right now they are available for the month of Halloween! So get them while they last...the merged magic that made them could only made them last for so long…

#jade creations #jade speaks #halloween event perhaps #halloween bitty adoption #halloween event

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365daysofsasuhina · 5 years ago

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Eighty-Four: Pretending ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uzumaki Naruto ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Okay...this shouldn’t be too hard. Just play it cool - not too forward, he might suspect that. But also blunt enough even Naruto can’t mistake it. Once he gets his point across, he’s sure the blond will spread the news like wildfire.

And that’s exactly what Sasuke wants.

Making his way into his first period class - one he just so happens to share with Naruto - he takes his seat and just...waits.

Soon enough, in storms the Uzumaki like a tornado, just like every other morning. “Hey!”

“Hey.”

Sitting in the desk in front of Sasuke, Naruto pauses...and then squints. “...what’s with that look?”

“Look?” Heh, perfect. Of course the blond is familiar enough with his mannerisms to notice.

“Yeah, you’re all…” His nose wrinkles. “...grinny. What’s going on?”

“I dunno what you’re talking about, Naruto.”

“No, really! You’re...smiling. It’s weirding me out, man.”

“What, I’m not allowed to be happy?”

“Well, no! But…” Naruto looks to him skeptically. “...did something happen?”

“Like what?”

“I dunno! Is your brother coming home for a visit?”

“Mm, no.”

“Uh…” A hand itches at his neck. “...didja ace a test?”

“I do that all the time.”

“...true.” Curling a first under his chin, Naruto squints. “...this is buggin’ the heck outta me! What did you do?!”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Then why are you smiling like that?!”

“Maybe I’m just happy. That ever cross your mind?”

“Nah, there’s gotta be a reason. There’s gotta be…” Examining his friend closely, Naruto’s lips purse, eyes nearly closed as he scrutinizes him. “...d’ya get a girlfriend or something?”

At that, the pretending starts. Expression shifting to mild shock for a moment, Sasuke then glances away. “...why would I do that?”

A knowing glint shines in Naruto’s eyes. “Ah! I saw that! You flinched!”

“W-what?”

“YOU FLINCHED!” The blond slaps a knee with a cackle. “You got a girlfriend!”

At the exclamation, several people look over...including a few girls, among them Sakura. Once they words process, she gives a jolt.

Ha...perfect…!

Doing his best to scowl and look...sheepish about it, Sasuke mutters, “Shut up idiot, you want the whole school to hear you?”

“What, and let people miss out on the juicy gossip? Dude, I thought it would never happen! You’ve had a stick up yer ass for so long, I was starting to think you were gay!”

...that earns a genuine deadpan. “No, I just...hadn’t found the right person.”

“Well c’mon, you gotta tell me! Who’s the lucky lady, eh? Tell me, tell me!” Practically bouncing, Naruto’s got stars in his eyes.

“Look...I don’t want you bothering her, okay?”

“Nah, course not! I just wanna know who finally got through that stone heart of yours,” Naruto snickers.

Giving a pensive glance, he pauses for just the right amount of time. “...her name’s Hinata…”

All at once, Naruto’s face goes slack, eyes wide and jaw hanging open comically. “...wait...you mean Hinata? Hinata Hinata?”

“What, you know more than one?”

“Well, no...but…” He seems to hesitate. “I just thought...y’know…”

“What?” Oh, this is too much fun...he never gets to see Naruto squirm like this!

“I thought she...liked…” In barely a murmur, Naruto admits. “...me…”

“...well, maybe she got tired of chasing after your dumb ass. You think she was gonna wait around forever?” Sasuke asks, leaning back in his chair as though taunting.

“...maybe. I dunno, it’s just...weird. But…” After a pause, he gives a gentle smile, which...takes the Uchiha back a bit. “...I’m glad she found someone to make her happy. Cuz...it wasn’t ever gonna be me, y’know?”

The sudden genuine moment leaves Sasuke without a reply. Out of all the reactions he’d imagined...this wasn’t one of them.

“...a-anyway!” Naruto springs back to normal, grinning sheepishly. “Maybe with you outta the running, Sakura will give me a date, huh?”

“Honestly, I hope she will.”

“...really?”

“Yeah. Maybe she’d make you happy,” he offers with a shrug. That, and it might be some sign she’d finally moved on from chasing him…

Naruto blinks, then goes a light shade of pink, itching his neck bashfully. “Heh...maybe! I-I mean, I hope so! It’d be...nice…”

Thankfully, it’s then their first period teacher decides to arrive, cutting through the chatter. So absorbed was he in the rather raw moment with Naruto, Sasuke forgot that everyone else seemed to be whispering.

Probably about Naruto’s outburst. Which is exactly what he wants: the sooner everyone thinks he’s got a girlfriend, hopefully the sooner they all start leaving him alone! And he can enjoy his senior year of high school in relative peace.

The class goes by easily enough, and soon the ‘infected’ people take their leave, each heading to new classrooms...and each bearing the news: Sasuke Uchiha has a girlfriend at last. The school’s most eligible bachelor (eugh he hates thinking that…) is officially off the market!

Of course...not everyone takes it so gracefully. A few girls go so far as to start crying, and he can’t help guilty flinches. Were they really that invested in someone they barely know…?

Come lunch, his first full act is in full swing: time to sit with her and...do whatever it is dating people do.

...what is he supposed to do?

Grabbing a tray of the same old stuff, he startles as she just...appears next to him! Smiling and perky, she asks, “So...where do you want to sit?”

Blinking as his brain plays catch-up - she really is having fun with this, isn’t she? - Sasuke then replies, “Uh...you pick.”

“Okay!” Thankfully it’s a corner table that’s typically rather unoccupied. Rather than next to him, she sits across...after a moment, he realizes it’s so they can face each other.

...good plan.

“So, anything interesting happen in any of your morning classes?” she asks, popping a tater tot into her mouth.

“Uh...not really. Though it’s probably pretty obvious the Naruto plan worked out perfectly.”

“Yeah...it is,” she admits, smiling a bit wearily as several girls behind her shoot dirty looks. That...makes him pause. He hadn’t really considered if she’d get any backlash. He was so concerned about his side of the plan - of finally getting rid of all the people chasing him - it just...didn’t occur to him they might get nasty if they felt jilted enough.

“...you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay...there’s been some, um...awkward moments, but nothing bad,” she assures him.

Something seems to weigh on his chest, and he mutters, “...anyone gives you trouble, you let me know. I’ll take care of it.”

Surprise makes her blink, apparently not expecting that. “...I will. But...I doubt it will come to that.”

“...better not.”

A span of silence blooms.

“...so, what about you?” he then asks.

“Hm?”

“Classes: anything cool happen?”

“Oh...well, someone managed to catch a textbook on fire in chemistry,” she giggles. “Thankfully it didn’t actually trigger the alarms, though...or everyone would have gotten hauled outside!”

He can’t help a snort. “Who the hell did that…?”

“I’m not sure, an underclassman I don’t know. He was so embarrassed, poor thing…”

And so it goes, the pair of them trading useless information about their day, then the previous weekend. Usually smalltalk feels so...forced, but this doesn’t. They just...talk. No awkward pauses or scrambling for a topic.

...he doesn’t really get that very often.

But, soon enough, lunch period is over, and it’s back to the grind of classes. “Well...see you after school, I guess,” Hinata offers.

“Got time to do anything after class?”

“Oh...I’m sorry, I’ve got volleyball practice,” is her reply, expression dropping in disappointment. “But, um...we don’t have any Friday, since we have a game Saturday!”

He mulls that over, hands in his pockets. “...would you rather I go to your game?”

That makes her startle a bit. “You’d...you’d want to go to a game?”

“Sure. Never seen one before, might be fun. Besides, gotta be there to support my girl, right?” Sasuke gives a soft grin.

To his surprise, her cheeks dust pink. “I...I would like that!” A smile then blooms wide across her face. “It starts at two!”

“Sounds good. Maybe we could, like...get dinner after, if you’re not busy?”

“Well, sometimes the team goes out, but...if we don’t, then...sure!” A hand tucks spare hair behind her ear. “...this is kinda funny, huh? It kinda...feels like the real thing. Not like we’re pretending.”

Taken aback, Sasuke glances aside, ears suddenly feeling warm. “...yeah, guess it kinda does.”

“...well, we can talk more about it a-after school - we better go or we’ll be late.”

“Yeah, later.”

Watching her go, Sasuke turns to head to his own fifth period class, feeling the warmth in his face spread. What is wrong with him? This isn’t real! It’s just...pretend! An act!

...right?

.oOo.

Welp, after far too long, here's a sequel to day 146 - more of the fake dating trope! Yay! I've wanted to do more of it for quite a while, but none of the prompts seemed to fit too well, but...well, obviously this one fits perfectly xD Uh ohhh, seems there's a wee spark of genuine feelings here...? And not just from Sasuke, seems like! Whatever will they do? :3c Anyway, I'd like to ramble more but it's VERY late, and I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. So for now, I'ma sign off - thanks for reading!

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #uzumaki naruto #best years of your life [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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allylikethecat · 1 year ago

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a whole fic based on matty’s many trips to the a&e?!?! seriously cannot wait!! this is gonna be so good!!

Hehe I hope it lives up to the hype! There was a lovely Anon who suggested a short series based on the paragraph in I Would Go Blind listing all the times that Matty went to A&E in his life which was why he didn't want to go get his eye checked and after saying "I can't start another fic right now" I also went "time to start another fic right now" and will hopefully have the first part/chapter up next week! We will be starting off with sixteen year old fictional!Matty and I am also excited! I've never written about the boys as teenagers before. I didn't intend to re visit the Infection Fic Verse again so soon but here we are- and it's going to be PRE-Infection (which includes the rise and fall of Fictional!Matty and Fictional!George's relationship the first time 👀)

Anyway, thank you so much for reading my fic, sending me this ask, and being excited about the many trips to A&E, I was already excited about this new project, but now seeing that there are other people out there that are excited as well? My own personal excitement as increased exponentially so thank you!!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #ocean ask #rid me of the blues #the infection fic verse #the eye infection fic #the ear infection fic #matty fic #poor fictional matty is about to go through it #but then again do we expect anything less from something written by me lol #keep it kind

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rose-in-june-blog · 5 years ago

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translation: The biography of Xu Wenchang

徐文长传

明代：袁宏道

The biography of Xu Wenchang

Ming dynasty, Yuan, Hongdao

*the given name of the writer, Hongdao, means “broad way”

In my youth I once passed the market, and saw the script of a northern poetic drama “Four Calls of the Ape”, whose conception and spirit was so unconstrained and heroic, that it seemed completely different from all legends created by recent literary men. The author signed “the literary man from Tianchi”, and I guessed he lived in Yuan, the last dynasty(*Tianchi can also be translated as “heaven lake”). Later, I went to the province Yue, and saw in someone’s house a calligrapher, whose creator signed “tian shui yue”(*meaning the images of field, water and moon). The calligraphy showed great vigour and strength, and reflected vividly the refusal to accept fate. I was much startled by it, and yet didn’t know who the creator was in reality.

One night I sat in the home of my friend Tao, a royal compiler, took out a random book from his shelf and found it to be a poetry anthology named “unfinished collection”. The book used poor paper and bad printing, and it was hard to figure out the characters. I moved towards the light to see clearer, yet as soon as I read several poems, I was surprised and jumped up suddenly to call my friend Shikui(Tao’s art name, meaning “basket for stones”): “who is the author of these poems? Is he contemporary or ancient?” And my friend said: “This is the collection of Sir Xu Tian Chi, a predecessor who is born in my hometown. His given name is Wei, his courtesy name is Wen Chang(* “Wei” comes from the name of a long river. The literal meaning of “Wenchang” is “literacy long”, which conveys the hope that the man’s achievement on literacy shall be as great as the river). He lived during the eras of the last emperor, and died just about five or six years ago. The inscriptions or calligraphers signed ‘Tian Shui Yue’ are just written by him.” I only get to discover then, that all three authors that impressed me were just one man, Mr. Xu Wenchang. Since the field of poetry has been barren and polluted for a long time, the discovery of such a great collection was like waking from a nightmare. We both jumped up and gathered under the light, read, cried, and cried and read again, to the extent that the servants asleep were all waken up. From then on, no matter when I write or when I talk, I always highly praised and recommended Sir Wenchang. Whenever someone visits me, I take out those poems to read together. And soon the great literary men all knew him and began to admire him.

Wenchang was a Xiucai in Shanyin province, failed in further imperial examinations for several times, and lived a bold and unconstrained life(* xiucai is a social range for learned men who passed the first level of imperial examination, but not the second and the third. Once people passed the second level of imperial examination, they will get the chance to be officials, yet Xiucai cannot. However, like knights, Xiucais were in a relatively high place in the social hierarchy and had certain privileges). The marshal, the Honourable lord Hu Meilin appreciated him, and invited him to act as his advisor(*Meilin was Hu’s art name, which means “woods of plum trees”). Wenchang required: “If you want me to work for you, please treat me as your guest and allow me to enter and leave your house whenever I want.” Lord Hu agreed all. Then Wenchang bowed to him and sat down in black hat and Keh clothes, and talked thoroughly about the situation of the world as naturally and fluently as if nobody else was evaluating him. Lord Hu was very glad about that. At that time, Lord Hu lead the troops of several frontiers, and his mighty name inspired awe throughout the southern and eastern part of the country. The soldiers, though strong in armours, knelt in front of him and dared not raise their heads; yet Wenchang, as a weak intellectual under his governance, could act talk and joke as he pleased, showing no trace of fear. It then happened that a white deer that was deemed as auspicious was caught, and Lord Hu let Wenchang write the letter to our late emperor. The late emperor was pleased when he read the letter, so lord Hu attached more importance to Wenchang, and let him write all the documents and letters to the central government.

Wenchang is proud of his own literary and military talents. He likes giving unusual strategies and often goes straight to the heart of the matter when he talks about military. All the strategies lord Hu used to make the pirates, including Wang and Xu, surrender, were discussed secretly among the two. Once Wenchang drank at a restaurant, and several soldiers also came to drink and refused to pay. Wenchang secretly wrote several words to tell lord Hu about that, and lord Hu immediately ordered to arrest these soldiers, and sentenced them to death. The whole army was frightened by that. A monk carried vile conduct, believing that he could not be punished because he was rich. Wenchang occasionally talked about that to lord Hu when he is drunk, and lord Hu later found an opportunity and killed that monk. Such trust between the two can be manifested by the two examples.

Lord Hu appreciated Wenchang’s talents and ability, and lamented for his failure in imperial tests. During the next provincial imperial test, Lord Hu secretly told each examiner: “Mr. Xu has the ability to be in charge of the whole country, if you see his paper, please don’t miss this talent.” All agreed. Only one head of a county, who was also an examiner, was tripped by some problems in his own county and visited lord Hu very late, and Lord Hu occasionally forgot to tell him about that. Yet this man happened to mark Wenchang’s paper, and Wenchang was not selected again.

Finding himself not appreciated by the mainstream scholars, Wenchang behaved unrestrainedly, indulged himself in drinking as well as in enjoying the beauty of nature. He travelled across the regions of Qi, Lu, Yan, and Zhao, viewing all the sceneries in the desserts. All the scene he saw: the running mountains, standing waves, rising sands, moving clouds, crying of winds, bending trees, deep and serene valleys, grand and busy cities, various people and animals...are presented by poetry. Meanwhile, in his bosom lies an ineffaceable spirit, with the grief and resent of a hopeless hero. So his poem are like angry rebukes, like loud laughter, like sound of water running in narrow canyons, like seedlings bursting out of the soil, like widows weeping at night, like travellers leaving in coldness. His artistic conception can be as vast as thousands of miles of plain, or as steep and secluded as ghosts speaking in autumn graveyards. His sight surpasses time, his work is unique in the era. The so-called high ranking and noble literary men were all despised by him, and so his fame was limited to his hometown province. How lamentable!

Once he drank at an official of his hometown’s. The official plead him to write a Fu, i.e., an article in verse, about a specified small thing on the table, and secretly told the servant to give Wenchang a piece of paper as long as a zhang(more than three meters) to challenge him. However, Wenchang began writing as soon as he got the pen and filled the paper with his excellent creation. His artistic conception was vigorous and unrestrained, and his article left nothing imperfect, so that all at the banquet were shocked.

Wenchang loved writing calligraphy. His handwriting was as untrammelled and forceful as his poems, and a unique charm stands out from his forceful writings. I cannot write good calligraphy, but I personally feel that Wenchang’s calligraphy is better than the famous artists, Wang Yayi and Wen Zhengzhong’s. It is not the skill of writing, but the spirit behind that is valued here: my sir is indeed a hermit sage and an untrammelled swordsman in the field of calligraphy. His excessive talent overflew to the field of drawing, and the flowers, grass, bamboos and stones he drew were all unrestrained, detached and interesting.

Yet in the end he killed his second wife out of suspicion, and was almost sentenced to death. Zhang Yanghe paid great efforts to negotiate to make him released. And he was as stubborn as before. In his twilight years he was more enraged by the world, and acted more crazily. The dignitaries who visited him were all refused, the powerful officials couldn’t get one calligraphy from him. Sometimes he went to the bars and asked the servants there to drink with him. Once he hit his head with an axe until blood covered his face and the bones were broken, and rubbed the bones to make strange sounds. Once he hit his bottom with a hammer. And once he inserted sharp awls into his ears for more than a cun(three centi-meters), and yet he did not die of that.

(* By this time, the marshal Hu has already died in the prison because of political struggle for many years)

My afore-mentioned friend Shikui said: Wenchang’s poetry and articles became more unique in his twilight years, yet he did not print them and put all his writings at his home. I have only seen two of them: “The Anthology of Xu Wenchang” and “Unfinished Collection”. Yet without being recognised, he died with the anger to this unfair age.

I, Shigong(*the art name of the author means “Mr. stone”), would comment like this: my sir was so unlucky and met so many obstacles in his life, that madness has infected him, and this madness brought him to the jail. In the history, the literary men often meet difficulties and hardships, yet nobody met as many as he did. Yet lord Hu was indeed a hero, and treated him with special respect, which means my sir was appreciated by heroes. Our former emperor was brilliant, and was greatly pleased by the letter he wrote, which means my sir’s ability was appreciated by the emperor. Only that he didn’t became an official through the exam. My sir’s poetry and articles stood out and eliminated the recent abominable climate of literature. The later generations hundreds of years later would naturally give him a fair conclusion. And from this perspective, how could we say that he is unrecognised by the society? Mei Kesheng once sent me a letter which says: “Wenchang is my old friend. His illness is more peculiar than his characteristics, his characteristics more peculiar than his poetry, his poetry more peculiar than his calligraphy, his calligraphy more peculiar than his prose, his prose more peculiar than his drawing.” And I would say that nothing of Wenchang is not peculiar, and this peculiarity caused that nothing waiting for him was not hard. How lamentable!

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morethankradio · 5 years ago

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Something Awesome: Data Thief or Gift Recipient

Okay, we’ve seen more than a few attacks that can be performed when someone clicks a link or navigates to a website.

Cryptojacking

Cross Site Request Forgery

Drive-By Attacks

Zoom 0day

But it’s time to pay homage to the attack that’s hidden in plain site.

tldr; head over to https://fingerprintme.herokuapp.com/ for some fun.

Passive Data Theft

I hesitate to call it theft when in fact we are giving all of this data to every website we visit like a little gift.

Please, accept this bundle of quasi-identifiers as a token of my appreciation.

Many internet users have no idea just how much data is available to websites they are visiting, so it’s worth exploring just what is in our present.

IP Address and Geolocation API

Like any good gift giver, we better write on the tag.

To: <website server> From: <your IP address>

Your IP (Internet Protocol) address is a little 32-bit (now possibly 128-bit) number that uniquely identifies your device on the Internet. This is by design; people need to be able to address you to be able to send you any packets. A static 1:1 mapping of devices to IPs is definitely a massive exaggeration today as as we use technologies to let multiple devices share one IP, dynamically acquire an IP for each session, and our ISPs (Internet Service Providers) may also dynamically assign our IP address.

Nonetheless, IP addresses have (again by design) another function; location addressing. This is because when you’re internet traffic is propagating through the Internet (a global network of routers) it needs to know where it physically needs to go, and fast. Owing to this, the internet has taken on a hierarchical structure, with different ISPs servicing different geographical regions. These ISPs are tiered such that lower tier ISPs service specific subsets of the upper level tier’s region, providing more geographical specificity. It is this property of IP addresses that allows anyone with your IP address to get a rough idea where you are in the world. Moreover, IP addresses from specific subnets like AARNet (for Australian Universities) can be a giveaway for your location.

Try Googling “my ip” or “where am i”. There are many IP to Geolocation API services available. I have made use of https://ipgeolocation.io/, which has a generous free tier 🙏.

User Agent

Every request your browser makes to a server is wrapped up with a nice little UserAgent String bow, that looks a little like this,

User-Agent: Mozilla/<version> (<system-information>) <platform> (<platform-details>) <extensions>

Oh how sweet 😊 it’s our Operating System, our browser and what versions we of each we are running, and if the server is lucky, perhaps a few extra details.

Here are a few examples from MDN:

Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; Win64; x64; rv:47.0) Gecko/20100101 Firefox/47.0

Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X x.y; rv:42.0) Gecko/20100101 Firefox/42.0

Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/51.0.2704.103 Safari/537.36

Why might this be a problem? Allow me to direct you towards my earlier post on Drive-By Attacks. Vulnerabilities are often present in specific versions of specific platforms. If an exploit server detects that your particular version of Chrome for Windows (for example) has a known vulnerability, well then prepare to be infected.

Navigator

Okay, I think we’ve been polite enough, it’s time to rip this packaging open! Ooh what is this inside? It’s an invitation to our browser of course!

When we send off a request to a web server complete with our IP and User Agent string, the web server will typically respond by sending us a web page to render. These days a web page can be anything from a single HTML file with a few verses from a dead poet, to a fully fledged JavaScript application. To support this development, browsers are exposing more and more functionality/system information through a special JavaScript interface called Navigator.

From MDN,

The Navigator interface represents the state and the identity of the user agent. It allows scripts to query it and to register themselves to carry on some activities.

...to carry on some activities... I wonder. The list of available properties and methods is pretty comprehensive so I’ll just point out a few interesting ones.

getBattery() (have only seen this on chrome)

connection (some details about your network connection)

hardwareConcurrency (for multithreading)

plugins (another important vector for Drive-Bys)

storage (persisted storage available to websites)

clipboard (requires permissions, goodness plz be careful)

doNotTrack (i wonder who checks this...)

vibrate() (because haptic is the only real feedback)

While I’ve got it in mind, here’s a wonderful browser localStorage vulnerability I stumbled across https://github.com/feross/filldisk.com. There’s a 10MB per site limit, but no browser is enforcing this quota across both a.something.com and b.something.com...

I have no idea why Chrome thinks it’s useful to expose your battery status to every website you visit... Personally, the clipboard API feels the most violating. It requires permissions, but once given you’re never asked again. Control/Command + V right now and see what’s on your clipboard. I doubt there’s many web pages that you’d actually want to be able to read your clipboard every time you visit.

Social Media Side Channel / CSRF

Okay, now we’re getting a little cheeky. It’s actually possible to determine if a browser has an authenticated session with a bunch of social media platforms and services.

It’s a well known vulnerability (have a laughcry at some of the socials responses), which abuses the redirect on login functionality we see on many of these platforms, as well as the Same-Origin Policy SOP being relaxed around HTML tags, as we saw was sometimes exploited by Cross Site Request Forgery attacks.

Consider this lovely image tag.

As you can see, the image source (at least originally) doesn’t point to an image at all, but rather the Facebook login page. Thanks to SOP, we wouldn’t and shouldn’t be able to send an AJAX request to this website and see the response. But this HTML image tag is going to fire off a GET request for it’s source no problem.

Thanks to redirect on login, if a user rocks up to the login page with the correct session cookies then we won’t have them login again, but rather we redirect them to their newsfeed; or, as it turns out, whatever the URL parameter next points to. What if we point it to an actual image, say the website icon, such that the HTML image tag loads if we are redirected, and fails if not.

Simple but effective. You can try it for yourself here, by opening my codepen in your browser when you’re signed in to Facebook, and when you’re signed out (or just use Incognito).

Fingerprint Me v1.0

Okay, time for a demonstration. I took the liberty of writing my own web page that pulls all this data together, and rather than store it for a rainy day (like every other page on the web), I present it to the user on a little web dashboard. It’s like a mirror for your browser. And who doesn’t like to check themselves out in the mirror from time to time 🙃

Random technical content: I had to fetch the geolocation data server-side to protect my API key from the client, then I sneak it back into the static HTML web page I’m serving to the user by setting it on the window variable in some inline script tags.

I bust out some React experience, and have something looking pretty (pretty scary I hope) in some nondescript amount of time (time knows no sink like frontend webdev). I rub my hands together grinning to myself, and send it off to some friends.

“Very scary”. I can see straight through the thin veil of their encouragement and instead read “Yeaaaah okay”. One of them admits that they actually missed the point when they first looked at it. But.. but... nevermind. It’s clearly not having the intended effect. These guys are pretty Internet savvy, but I feel like this should be disconcerting for even the most well seasoned web user...

Like that moment you lock eyes with yourself in the mirror after forgetting to shave a few days in a row.

Fingerprint Me v2.0

An inspired moment follows. I trace it back to the week ?7 activity class on privacy:

It is very hard to make a case for privacy. What is the inherent value of privacy? Why shouldn’t the government have our data, we give it to a million services everyday anyway, and receive a wealth of benefits for it. Go on, have it. I wasn’t using it for anything anyway.

It is very easy to make a case for privacy, if there is any sense that someone malicious is involved. As soon as there is someone who would wish us ill it becomes obvious that there are things that the less they know the better.

~ Sun Tzu

Therein lies the solution. I need to make the user feel victimised. And what better to do it than a green on black terminal with someone that calls themselves a hacker rooting your machine.

DO CLICK THIS LINK (it’s very safe, I promise) https://fingerprintme.herokuapp.com

Some more random technical content: Programming this quite synchronous behaviour in the very async-centric JavaScript was quite a pain. It was particularly tricky to get around the fact that React renders it’s component hierarchy top down, so I needed the parent components to mount empty in order for them to be correctly populated with child components later. It was also a pain to access and render child components conditionally, especially if you want to have sets of child components in different files, as though they aren’t ultimately nested in the DOM, React will treat them as if they are.

Some User Reviews:

“It feels like I should shut the window”

“This is SO RUDE”

“Battery level. I mean. Literally. How.”

Excellent.

Recommendations

Know what’s in your present, and who you’re gifting it to 🎁

To protect your IP address/location consider using a VPN or ToR

Check out NoScript, a browser plugin that will block JavaScript by default, but allow you to enable it for trusted sites.

Check out and share https://fingerprintme.herokuapp.com 😉

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wooolfies · 6 years ago

Text

Don’t want to hurt you.

Verse: Jurnex Superhero AU

Pairing: Jurnex

Prompt: “Just because you are a superhero, doesn’t mean that you are responsible for everyone who lives or dies.”

Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, severe injures, robbery

Characters/Parties: N. A. Jurow/Doctor Hope, John Kennex, Yekaterina Vashchenko

Word Count: 2376

Author’s Note: This story was based on the idea of @strangledbythestars

It was early in the morning. The rising sun tried to make its way through the thick layer of smog that was covering Los Angeles.

The shops were opening and the fist rush hour of the day was just starting. A teal coloured van slowly headed towards one of the skyscrapers downtown.

A young blonde employee opened the big glass doors to the the handful of customers inside who were already waiting. Slowly, the bank filled with people. An ongoing coming and leaving.

Suddenly a man yelled something, drawing an automatic gun. Most of the customers went to the ground instinctively.

***

Kennex sat in the cruiser, on his regular tour across the city when the chattet on the police radio went up again. There was a hostage situation going on and they were requesting all forces available.

He started to head towards the location. The coffee in the cupholder was getting cold, he didn’t care.

In front of the building a huge group of people had formed already, he supported his colleagues by holding the crowd back. The Swat team was still on its way, not to be expected in the next minutes.

They knew of four robbers who had taken at least two hostages. Suddenly a shot rang out inside the building along with the sound of shattering glass.

One of the robbers, a first timer had tripped and accidentally fired his weapon.

The police outside reacted and started swarming the building.

The robbers backed up, deeper inside the building, taking two of the hostages with them. Three of them and the two hostages ended up in bathroom.

The other robber had to hide in a closet in order to don’t get arrested.

Kennex carefully walks down the hall, caching every room to his left and right, offices. No one is there.

Suddenly there were steps behind him, he spun around.

She is standing right in front of him, her gun pointed towards him, her face stayed neutral as she pulled the trigger.

There was pain in his chest, it seemed like the bullet has made its way through the vest into his chest. He falls to the ground, darkness is surrounding him.

***

When he gained consciousness he needed a quick moment to orientate.

“Hey. I’m glad you are awake.”

He looked where the voice came from.

It was Jurow. She was sitting next to him on a chair and held his hand.

He was feeling funny, like wrapped up into cotton wool.

“Nata,” he murmured.

He was not dead. He was not dead!

“You took quite a blow. They fixed you up quite well. You coded. twice. Don’t scare me like that again,” she said quietly.

“I hate this place,” Kennex looked around in the room. Since the ambush and the long time spent in the hospital afterwards he got anxiety from hospitals.

“I know honey. I talked to the doctors, as soon as you are fully stabilised were gonna take you home,” she paused. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. And when I was, it was way too late.”

He squeezed her hand. She replied the gesture.

“How– How did it end?” he asked.

She nervously escaped his eye contact, and looked to the ground.

“So bad?”

“It was a massacre. The hostages were killed and the police shot the robbers. The only of of them surviving is the lady that shot you.”

Kennex let out a noise of discomfort. “What a fail…”

“No. Except you all cops are okay. And we all know that freeing hostages doesn’t work like on TV…”

He nodded in agreement, he was getting sleepy again.

***

Two days later. Kennex was at home with Jurow, still staying in bed but with way better food and more privacy. He felt much better psychologically being out of this place.

Jurow was happy about the pause in action Ava was doing at the moment, she could fully dedicate to caring for her love.

He could eat when he wanted and sleep when he was tired. Not like in the hospital where there was a strict schedule for everything.

On his first morning at home, Jurow had made Kennex a healthy breakfast.

When she entered the room, he was still asleep. She quietly placed the tray on the nightstand. She smiled and quietly approached his bed to read his oxygen values. She nodded, happy that they were normal. She quietly left again.

Vashchenko was working in her room over the fifth cup of coffee, the keyboard sounded like a machine gun, she seemed motivated. Jurow decided to get her a new, quieter keyboard.

Fifteen minutes had passed, Vashchenko could hear Jurow turn the key in the lock. Jurow went straight into the kitchen, then up to John. After she had talked to him and made sure he was alright alright up there, she started to prepare lunch. She still couldn’t get this on thought out of her head. She should have been there. What kind of superhero was she?The following night Jurow started having a nightmare, strange things evolving around the theme of losing Kennex. She woke up from it when the worst part was reached. Panting she sat up in her bed, looking the open door between her room and the room he was sleeping in. “Nata?” it was him, not able to get up, but he could tell that something was going on. Jurow silently cursed and stood up. Showing herself in the door frame, “What’s up?” she asked. “Are you alright?” he looked worried. Sitting in his bed, his face strangely lit by the tablet on his belly. One of her black earphones was in his ear. He had watched something because he had trouble sleeping.Jurow nodded silently. “Trouble sleeping?” she pulled her desk chair to his bed. “Yeah. Why don’t you come with me? Not like I’m sick and could infect you with something.“ “No, It’s just, I don’t want to hurt you,” she suddenly sounded very quiet, almost sad. “Oh, honey, I’m sure you won’t,” he smiled. He was missing her warmth, hugging on the couch and holding each other. “I can’t, I have something going on I need to attend to,” she said, making a reference to superhero stuff. When really she just wanted to curl up and cry without him knowing. She loved him with all her heart, and still she had put him at risk, too often. “I’ll be back. Need to go to the loo first.”She stood up and left the room. She had done it again, lied to him. Locked in the bathroom, not turning on the light, she let herself slide down against the door, hugging her knees. She couldn’t do this anymore. What if he actually died next time? Not like he already was deeply traumatized. The police had only kept him in because he could not be corrupted by any mob. She had a responsibility, there was always something going on in LA. The public was relying on her. Damn, why hadn’t she gone to this bank and helped. She was lucky that he survived it and didn’t go comatose again, like way back after The Attack when Kennex had lost his leg.

Jurow ended up curled up on the floor sobbing. She had fucked up. She was the worst hero ever, not being able to protect the ones she loved. After a while being there like this, she returned into the living room, where Kennex had fallen asleep. She sat down on the uncomfortable chair again, holding his hand while he was sleeping, crying silently.

When Kennex woke up, he saw her sitting next to him, fallen asleep sitting in the desk chair, her hand was still clinging onto his.

He smiled, looking at the clock on the wall. It was five in the morning. Was she actually sleeping in this chair? He felt sore and his chest was hurting so much he felt like he had throw up. Seeing her that way made him very concerned, what made him not feel better in anyway. When he tried to pull his hand back. She woke up as if her sleep was not really deep.

“Sorry…,” he murmured.

Jurow went back to the kitchen to make a toast with butter. She made herself tea instead of coffee. The kitchen still smelled phenomenal. She let herself sink into the chair while she waited for the water to boil. She stared at the toast, she had taken only one bite from it. She didn’t feel like eating, the toast seemed like plastic. Like something no-one would try to eat.

She stood up to pour the tea. She took the tea and her phone. Suddenly she hoped that Ava was doing some shit again, just to stop her downwards spiral of thoughts.

Jurow went upstairs, to sit with Kennex. Playing some stupid mobile game where one had snip animals upwards, dodge traps and collect money. From time to time she sipped her tea.

She was focused on keeping her mind here and don’t think about what had happened; the fact that she had let him down and now his killer was still running around out there, free like a bird. Sure, the authorities where looking for her but she sure knew how to get off the grid. Maybe she had made her way over the wall already.

Jurow cleared her throat and started scrolling through social media. Not a good idea either. The robbery was trending. Everyone was saying how sorry they were for the victims and how much the police had fucked up.

Kennex began to stir, slowly waking up. Jurow turned off her phone and watched him wake up. When he opened his eyes, she was smiling.

“How are you feeling?” she asked. He hadn’t got a pain-medicine shot in hours, the last time at 3am when he couldn’t sleep because of the pain.

“Still like shit, but better than yesterday,” he reached for her hand and squeezed it. ”I’m glad, I’m with you now.”

“Me and your lead surgeon had a long discussion. In the end I practically had to bail you out. We might get an unannounced visit from a doctor, controlling my work,” she scoffed. “I bet I have seen more GSWs than them. Anyways, do you have something specific you would like for lunch?”

“Noodles?”

“Sure. But I need to buy a few ingredients for this… “

His face lit up. “Would be great. But before you leave, can you check? My chest really hurts…”

Jurow put both her hands into her neck for some time, to make them less cold. Then she started to open a few buttons on Kennex’ shirt. His chest looked like a chest looks that had been shot recently and then opened up to stop the bleeding. For good measure she went across the room to get her stethoscope. Lung noises were normal: “You are OK. But I’m going to give some pain medicine.”

Kennex nodded. “Thank you.”

Jurow was debating whether it was smart to go to buy some things for lunch nor not. Too anxious that something could happen to Kennex while she was gone.

Vashchenko had made clear that she was in danger of punching someone in the face, but she was willing to make a plan how to do this as fast as possible. Jurow told Kennex that she would be back soon, and that he should tell Vashchenko if he needed anything.

Jurow was a bit disoriented at first.

“How long have you been sitting there?” he asked roughly and cleared his throat. He tried to sit up a bit, maybe that helped against the pain. At least it eased his breathing a bit.

“Since, shortly after we talked tonight.”

He frowned, tried to move over a bit to her, letting out a groan.

“Are you in pain?” she asked.

He just nodded.

Jurow got up. Almost tripping over her own feet, she walked to the desk where all the items she needed for his care were placed, and filled a syringe. She rose, after having done the injection. He looked up to her in the soft light that was filling the room.

“You don’t look well, honey. What is going on?” he asked. Not knowing another way to express his concern.

She sat down onto the edge of his bed. “Is just- ,” she broke off. She couldn’t tell him.

“Come on,” he said while padding the bed next to him. He moved over a bit, so she had space to lie down next to him.

She in fact now did it, very carefully, barely touching him. He lifted up his blanket to cover her. He carefully pulled her a bit closer to him, holding her.

Jurow was barely keeping it together. Her love to him was as strong as the fear to lose him. But even for her, it seemed to be great to be with him, being held close. Silently she began to cry. It took quite a while until he noticed that she her breathing was turning into a sobbing. “Would you like talk about it? You taught me that talking always helps,” he rubbed her back. “You can tell me everything, your secrets are safe with me.”

Jurow signed. “It’s not about that…” she paused. “I just failed.”

“What?”

“I should have been there. I almost lost you.”

“Oh Nata,” his kissed the top of her head. “Just because you’re a superhero doesn’t mean you are responsible for everyone who lives or dies. It is not possible that you are everywhere at the same time and in the end you are only human, after all. And look, even if I died, I still would have loved you. I still love you. You are doing a magnificent job nursing me back to health. There is nothing to be sorry for. Okay?”

She nodded silently, still crying. Kennex did his best to comfort her.

When Vashchenko came up a bit later to see why Jurow had still not called for her coffee she found the two, sleeping, clinging into each other. She let out an “awww”, smiled and silently closed the door again.

Tagging: @grumpymedbae @homo-homini-lupus-est @donsdawn

Taglist

#superhero au #story #jurnex #natasha jurow #john kennex #kate vashchenko #h/c #angst #my writing #my work

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troger · 4 years ago

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Two grandmas from the future

“Grandma, did people really not wear masks when you were a kid?”

“No, they didn't. People didn't start wearing masks until I was 33, in 2020. Reuben, your daddy, was 4 when it all started.”

Bobby wrinkles his nose at me and picks up his mask by the door.

“You mean you didn't wear a mask at ALL?!” He says, swinging his around on his finger.

“No, not ever.” I say.

“But how did you stay safe?” Bobby says, setting his mask down.

“Oh, we got sick a lot. Your daddy had the flu when he was 3. It was scary, but he pulled through. He's had his share of colds as a child.”

“That's scary. It's bad to get sick.”

I stop, and think. Is it time? Yes, it must be time. Bobby will be eight soon, and there are things he needs to know. Things it might not be safe for his father or his mother to talk about, things that are safer shared from an older mouth.

I snuggle him up on the couch and try to think of where to begin.

“Now Bobby. I'm going to tell you some things. I want to you to hold these things inside of you and don't talk about them to anyone else, you hear? Some of these ideas can be misunderstood if the wrong person hears them.”

I think he understands. I hope he understands.

“Back in 2020 there was a virus. You probably learned about it in school.”

“Covid 19.” Bobby says. He isn't smiling. “I did.”

“Yes, Covid 19. That was when everything changed.”

“Is that why you had to go to jail, Grandma?”

Now my heart sinks. He's getting ahead of me.

“No, not really.” I say.

“Daddy says you had to go to jail when he was little and he missed you a lot.”

I feel tears prick the edges of my vision, but I blink them away.

“Yes, you see, Grandma didn't like vaccines. I didn't want to vaccinate my children, but a few years after covid-19 we lost the right to choose things like that. But Grandma didn't give up. I fought for the right to keep Reuben and Rebekah free from vaccines, so I went to jail for awhile. It was hard for your daddy, he missed me a lot.”

Bobby holds my hand, and I remember another little boy, so many years ago who also sat on this couch and held my hand. And I remember his tears as the police took me away from him. I don't want to remember this.

“But vaccines are good for you, Grandma. They keep you safe. We learned about them in school.”

I sigh.

“That's what they say.” I say. “Yet, back when I was a kid, sometime people died after they were vaccinated. Sometimes people were damaged by the vaccines. And we still don't know what is in them. No one will tell us.”

I turn to look into Bobby's eyes. “People still are damaged by vaccines now. Just no one talks about it.”

Bobby scrunches his eyes up. He's trying so hard to wrap his mind around my words.

“The world was a very different place when I grew up.” I say. “We had coins, like the ones in my collection. We spent those coins as money, instead of using the chips we have today. No one wore masks and you didn't have to get vaccinated if you didn't want too. Parents could teach their kids at home if they wanted, and school wasn't year round. You could think what you wanted, no one was arrested for speaking their mind. People met in churches to sing to God.”

Bobby still looks confused. I wonder if he can even picture a world like I am describing. I wonder if he can even understand.

“Kids played together in the streets. We had birthday parties where people would come to your house and hang out. I could hug my friends whenever I wanted.” Now I am getting a bit choked up. It must be my age. I'll be 76 this January.

I swallow.

“Now, Bobby dear, don't go repeating anything I've told you. Keep it hidden in your heart, like the verses we learn over breakfast.”

“Like the bible under the planks in the shed?” He asks. I nod, yes, like the bible hidden in the shed.

Bobby slips from my side. I let him go, hearing the legos tinkle from the other room. The legos his dad collected as a kid.

I sit for awhile, thinking back. Times sure have changed. I don't think they have changed for the better, no matter what the government says. I wonder what other things will change, before my bones go into the Earth. Soon the memories of that other world, that world of freedom and breath... will be buried in my tomb with me. And only the young will remember.

If they can.

“Granny, is it true that some people refused to wear masks during the COVID-19 Pandemic?”

This was the question that my wide-eyed pre-teen granddaughter asked me one day when she visited me on her way home from school.

My granddaughter often surprised me with such questions about the past. She was a precocious child and hungry for knowledge, we had a special bond given my history in academics. Our philosophical conversations were some of the best I’d ever had even though the child was still so young - it was refreshing to appreciate the perspective of a younger generation and she had reverence for those of the older generations.

I cautiously asked her what else she had learned about that point in history and the few decades immediately preceding it. She rolled her eyes at me in annoyance.

“Granny, you’re going to tell it your own way anyway so just answer the question.”

I chuckled. The kid cracked me up.

“Ok. Back at the turn of the century, we were riding a rollercoaster of increasing height as far as human achievement from a technological perspective was concerned. But for every technological advancement or medical breakthrough, there were those that lauded the achievements and those who proclaimed that the end of days was fast approaching. Religious dogma and scientific discovery were at odds and many people couldn't discern what information should be trusted.” I paused, checking her expression.

Her brow furrowed, “You mean people that think that scientists think that they’re gods?”

“Not quite. It was more to do with people becoming confused about what to believe, what the media and the scientists were saying, what the Bible said, what wasn’t being said in the news. So many people had access to the internet across the world, it was a novelty then, and when it became accessible from your phone! Oh boy! People started wanting to double check things, especially if they didn’t agree with the message. The internet often brought like-minded people together. And, as you know...”

“Fools seldom differ?” She smiled.

“Exactly. One conspiracy bore another, until eventually fact, opinion and fantasy were so irretrievably mingled that even those of sound mind and education could fall prey to a well worded propaganda piece, abandoning previously applied logic and developed critical thinking skills.”

“You mean like when you had to tell off your dad about being scared of GMOs?” She asked.

I nodded. Then continued. “Another factor was the disparity between the rich and the poor. It was vast, so vast that the figurative gorge dividing wealth and poverty couldn't be filled even if all the tears ever shed or blood spilt in human history were to be poured into the void. Many of the wealthier people, having easy access to so much information and considering themselves to be clever based on their statuses, started to oppose the status quo. They thought that they knew better than doctors and scientists because they weren’t fooled by the mainstream media or paid off by big pharmaceutical companies.”

“Oh. Antivaxxers, right?” She said, twisting her mouth in a combination of irritation and amusement.

“Yes, antivaxxers.” I replied. She took a deep breath, anticipating an oft-repeated spiel. “But, not only antivaxxers. There were a lot of people who thought that they knew better. There were people who thought the earth was flat. People that thought that drinking urine could promote health and immunity. So when people were told that they had to wear masks to try reduce the spread of COVID-19, these people who thought that they knew better said that they wouldn’t wear masks. We were in an age where there was so much knowledge and so very little insight and education. Something I learnt early on when doing my doctoral thesis was that academics is about balance.”

“Like balancing equations?” She interjected.

“Well, balancing equations is very important for a lot of science, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Balance between being confident and humble in your knowledge. A good academic should be able to promote their work and knowledge, but also ready to accept their knowledge gaps and constructive criticism. So here’s where I’ll let you in on a shocking detail during the story - at the beginning of the pandemic - I didn’t wear a mask!”

“What?!” She gasped, horrified that I could say such a thing.

“You heard me,” I smiled. “But don’t judge me too harshly. At the beginning of the pandemic, there were mixed views on wearing masks. A lot of people thought that they should wear masks to protect themselves from becoming infected. They put supply of protective gear in jeopardy for people who really needed it, like healthcare workers. A lot of people also didn’t know how to apply the masks or would regularly adjust and touch them, making it far less effective to serve as any kind of protection. But as the virus kept spreading, with a lot of people not showing symptoms of being sick, the message changed. Everyone was asked to wear masks. Not to protect themselves from infection, but to reduce spread of the virus in case they were infected. And then, then I wore my mask. It was a mark of respect to others around me that I would try to reduce their risk of being infected in case I was sick. Does that make sense?” I asked, seeing that her expression had relaxed from its horrified position.

“Ok, so you realised that you hadn’t got the full story and then listened when you did?” She asked.

“Yes”, I nodded.

“But why did other people still not wear masks?” Her brow furrowed again.

“As I said, a lot of people thought that they were very clever. Instead of acknowledging their great privilege to have access to the very best preventative and curative healthcare, they felt that they were oppressed by the requirement to comply with the recommendations and guidelines of healthcare organisations. They invoked that such stipulations were violations of their human rights for free choice.” I said, shaking my head.

“How could people be so selfish?” She said, more to herself than to me.

“My darling, people created oppression where there was privilege as a means of justifying their victim mentalities. They claimed that wearing a mask caused carbon monoxide poisoning. Some even claimed that it resulted in drying out of nasal passages to cause damage to the nose. It was like antivaxxers all over again, blaming unrelated issues on things that they objected to or didn’t want to take responsibility for. Now, if masks caused so much damage, surely surgeons would be severely impacted from wearing masks so much? When your great granny broke her leg, her surgery lasted for hours on end. Her surgeon was an older doctor, he retired about 2 years after he treated her. How could he practice for so many years, as a top orthopedic surgeon if he was suffering the effects of carbon monoxide poisoning every time he walked into an operating room?”

“People are selfish. And stupid. Liars.” She said, visibly annoyed.

“Exactly, my dear. Sometimes we need to do things we don’t like or that require effort so that other people aren’t harmed. Things like not throwing medicine into the sewer. Asking people if they have allergies if you’re cooking food for them. Putting shopping trolleys away and not leaving them on walkways where people in wheelchairs might have their way blocked...”

“Getting vaccinated?” She added, raising her eyebrows at me in that knowing way.

“Getting vaccinated.” I agreed. “It’s about social responsibility. A minor inconvenience for you should not be justification to deliberately put other people at risk. It’s about respecting everyone’s rights and not just your own. Do you understand, sweetheart?” I asked, drawing her close to hug her to my side.

“Yes, Granny. But it still upsets me how many people don’t understand.” She said, putting her head on my shoulder.

“I know. But what’s important to me is that you understand. And that you’ll be a good person and make sure that your children understand when people like me aren’t around anymore to help them understand.” I said, patting her hand.

“I will, Granny.”

#covid19 #story

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weirdbynorthwest · 7 years ago

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Notes on Northern Exposure, S01E02: “Brains, Know-How and Native Intelligence”

We begin the episode with Chris Stevens delivering his first ever “Chris in the Morning” address on the show, in Cicely’s local radio station, KBHR, or “K-Bear”. Why “K-Bear”? Well, firstly, it’s customary for radio stations to be given easily pronounceable names inspired by their initials, for the sake of marketing. But there’s an additional fun fact regarding this particular station’s origins: both KBHR and its nick-name belong to a real-life local radio station in Big Bear City, California. Surrounded by the Alaskan wilderness, Cicely undoubtedly has more than its fair share of bears, so the nickname remains appropriate.

The subject of Chris’s speech, and a significant chunk of the episode, is the 19th century poet Walt Whitman, an American literary giant and one of Chris’s leading artistic inspirations. But not everyone approves of Whitman. Chris recalls being “blindsided by the raging fist of [his] incarcerator,” at the juvenile detention home where he spent his juvenile delinquent days. This stern authority figure told Chris, in no uncertain terms, “that Walt Whitman's homoerotic, unnatural, pornographic sentiments were unacceptable and would not be allowed in an institution dedicated to reforming the ill-formed.” Whitman’s sexuality has been the subject of endless debate, but it’s generally accepted that he was either homo- or bisexual. That Whitman, “that great bear of a man, enjoyed the pleasures of other men came as a great surprise” to Chris, leading him to “reconsider the queers [he] had previously kicked around.” Yes, Chris wasn’t always the open-minded liberal we otherwise see him as. He was, in his youth, capable of homophobic violence. This makes me, a confirmed homosexual (or “homo-romantic grey-sexual,” if we’re being particular), rather sad. It also makes me more inclined to be wary and critical of Chris in this episode.

Chris reads Whitman’s “When Lilacs in the Dooryard Bloom’d” (1865), a poem written following the end of the American Civil War (1861-1865), during a period of national mourning over the then recent assassination of former president Abraham Lincoln. The poem doesn’t explicitly identify Lincoln, but it’s generally thought that that’s who the poem was about. However, the final line of the first stanza – “And thought of him I love” – may have been presented in this scene in order to underline the topic of Whitman’s sexuality. For Whitman’s clearest expression of homosexual love in verse, one should really examine the “Calamus” sequence of poems written in or before 1859, included in the third edition of Leaves of Grass, originally published in 1855. (I nearly read some to an ex-boyfriend on his birthday once. I regret not doing that. But they were aware of the thought, and I got a lot of love for it, so it balanced out.)

We catch a glimpse of Maurice fishing whilst listening to Chris’s show. He clearly isn’t impressed by all this talk of Whitman enjoying “the pleasures of other men.” Maurice was established as being, at the very least, a sexist and racist bigot in the previous episode, so any homophobia on his part wouldn’t come as a surprise. This still doesn’t prepare the viewer for what Maurice will do next.

Meanwhile, in this week’s instalment of “Will They? Won’t They?’ Joel and Maggie are in the Brick, having a go at each other over plumbing. This argument at least feels as if it springs from a natural cause, compared to last week’s glaringly-contrived-in-order-to-establish-the-formula bickering. Joel is talking to Maggie as his landlord, about a faulty toilet. Maggie teases Joel over his lack of self-reliance: why not try fixing it himself, or go out and fertilise the scenery? She winds up calling him a “helplessness junkie”, an odd turn of phrase he’ll spend half the episode grumbling about and later delight in throwing back at her, when she visits him in his surgery over a self-inflicted knee injury.

Joel’s chauvinism is out in full force again, as he offers to treat any puncture wounds Rick may have received from Maggie walking all over him in her heels. Yecch. And then he comes on to her in a way that fictional characters in a “Will They? Won’t They?” comedy set-up routinely get away with, when he says “you’re clearly attracted to me.” Of course, the show will routinely remind us she is. But in real life, if you said something like that to someone, it would be widely and rightly considered inappropriate. Unlike the utterly irredeemable and thoroughly loathsome Ross Geller in Friends (NBC, 1994-2004), Joel is a genuinely likeable character under all the sexist asshattery the writers insist upon having him say. I hope the situation improves, and soon.

Joel remarks that he’s “not the Grizzly Adams type.” This is a reference to John “Grizzly” Adams, a nineteenth-century mountain man who hunted and trained wild animals (including, you guessed it, “grizzly” bears) for use in zoos, menageries and circuses, from New England to California. An outdoorsman and a showman (he partnered up at one point with another American icon, that jack-of-all-trades P.T. Barnum), “Grizzly” Adams became, in the popular cultural consciousness, an iteration of an American frontiersman archetype, akin to Davy Crockett. Joel does not resemble that archetype at all – but Brick proprietor Holling Vincoeur, according to Joel, does. We’ll see how that comparison bears out in the episodes and seasons to come.

Meanwhile, over at K-Bear, the “raging fist” of Maurice Minnifield comes raining down on Chris Stevens like the fist of that faceless authoritarian in Chris’s juvenile detention home. I find the violence Maurice inflicts on Chris in this episode jarring. We later learn from Joel that Maurice threw Chris through a plate-glass window. We see bruises and band-aids on Chris’s face, and his arm in a plaster cast. We learn, towards the end of the episode, that Chris snuck in a decent left-hook – but that still, to my mind, doesn’t make up for what might be one of the single most unpleasant things Maurice has done on the show.

And while we’re on the subject of violence, what about Ed’s response to Joel describing his current spat with Maggie? He asks “Did you hit her?” Where did that come from? A more uncharacteristic thing for Ed to say – even just two episodes into the show – is hard to imagine. Is it meant to suggest that Ed grew up in an environment where domestic violence was the norm? Or that Cicely’s foremost cinephile learnt everything he knows about human interaction from the movies? I don’t know. I just know that it’s a weird, discomfiting line.

Ed introduces the episode’s secondary plot, which is about Ed’s uncle Anku (Frank Sotonoma “Grey Wolf” Salsedo). Ed tells Joel that his uncle is a “witch doctor,” which briefly leads them into a variation on the famous “Who’s on First?” comedy routine.

Ed’s uncle is seriously unwell – as in, there’s blood in his urine. And blood in your urine is nothing to be sniffed at. 11 years ago I had a urinary tract infection thanks to the onset of type-one diabetes. The pain was unreal. Imagine passing red hot needles instead of water. TMI? Ah, DMY. My point is, it’s not something you can comfortably ignore. And as a doctor, Joel knows it’s not something you can afford to ignore. And so, at Ed’s behest, Joel spends a significant chunk of the episode befriending Anku and trying his best to persuade him to seek medical attention. But, unbeknownst to Anku’s family, Anku has already sought medical attention and learnt that he has prostate cancer. He just needs Joel to pressure him into swallowing his pride as a medicine man before seeking further treatment.

Joel will, in dealing with Anku, realise in an on-screen “eureka!” of an epiphany that pride is the theme binding all the episode’s narrative threads together. Anku’s pride, his own pride, Maggie’s pride, Maurice’s pride, are all wrapped up in a neat little package. Is it too neat, too tidy? Maybe, but I like it. It’s a reassuring sign that Joel’s character won’t remain static, that he’ll gain new insight into the town and its characters, learn new things and continue to develop over the course of the series.

“Keeping it in the family”: Mrs. Anku is played by Armenia Miles, the mother of Elaine Miles, who plays Joel’s secretary, Marilyn Whirlwind. In future episodes, she’ll play Marilyn’s mother.

Anku asks Joel if he’s ever seen the film Little Big Man (dir. Arthur Penn, 1970), in which Dustin Hoffman plays a man who, as a white child, was rescued and raised by a Cheyenne tribe. Is Anku drawing a connection between the Jewish actor and Jewish doctor, to whom he imparts some of his own “native intelligence”?

Joel, after explaining that he can’t keep chasing after Anku, pleads with Ed not to “do this northern brooding thing, I can’t stand Bergman films.” Is Joel intentionally using sophisticated cinema references he knows Ed will get? Because if so, that’s kinda cute. Couple that with Ed watching Joel as he sleeps, and I wonder if anyone, anywhere, at any time, has thought to ship these two characters?

As Maurice takes full control of radio K-Bear we learn he’s a huge fan of musical theatre, something that’s often been depicted as a stereotypical trait of gay men (less so these days, but very much so in the nineties). Is the episode replaying the old, unhelpful cliché that “all homophobes are repressed homosexuals”? I don’t think so. It certainly doesn’t underline or lean into that idea. As much as Maurice’s showtunes are driving the residents of Cicely crazy, he’s never mocked for the fact that he enjoys showtunes.

At a town meeting, angry Cicelians call for the reinstatement of Chris Stevens as radio presenter. Maurice isn’t having it. “One of our own, Chris Stevens, made a mistake,” he “did a bad thing” and “he had to pay for it.” What was that mistake? We get an answer, of sorts, when Maurice returns to the airwaves the next day and attempts to explain his recent behaviour. It’s a speech that causes the entire town to stop in its tracks, suggesting we should stop in our tracks too and take what Maurice is saying seriously.

Maurice recalls his devastation upon discovering, as a child, that his hero John Wayne didn’t do his own stunts. The gist of it is, Maurice doesn’t want his heroes to be humanized, to have their weaknesses exposed. “Sure, we’re all human,” but do we have to be reminded that our heroes are human too? Maurice is an advocate of the “Great Man” theory of history, the idea that the greatest achievements in human history were brought about by great men (and with his ego, he no doubt fancies himself one). Maurice wants his heroes to remain on their marble pedestals as untainted paragons of manly virtue. “We need our heroes. We need men we can look up to. Believe in. Men who walk tall.” Of course it doesn’t occur to Maurice, just as it doesn’t occur to most advocates of the “Great Man” conception of history, that those heroes could include women or minorities.

Maurice considers Walt Whitman a hero. Though “Walt Whitman was a pervert,” in Maurice’s bigoted view, “he was the best poet that America ever produced.” Maurice concedes that Whitman was, most likely, a homosexual. He’d just rather not know or be reminded of that. Because Maurice is a homophobic bigot who believes that homosexuality is a weakness, a character flaw that should be hidden from view, never to be acknowledged. But just because Maurice believes that “there are damn few of us who deserve to be called heroes” and that, despite his own bigotry, Whitman deserves the title of hero, doesn’t make Maurice less wrong or less of a bigot.

And yet, as the speech prompts Chris to go and apologise to Maurice, the episode seems to come down firmly on Maurice’s side of the argument. Not that there’s actually been an argument. No one in town has attempted to argue the opposite of Maurice’s position – that a knowledge of Whitman’s probable homosexuality does nothing to diminish him or his work. The implicit and unfortunate assumption in this episode is that it does diminish Whitman. That’s why we have Chris apologising to Maurice, saying that he also doesn’t want people reading Walt Whitman for “the wrong reasons.” What reasons are those, Chris? The only reason suggested in the episode comes from Ruth-Anne, when she tells Joel that all the Whitman has been taken out of the library as there’s “nothing like an interesting sex-life to get people reading.”

So, is Chris suggesting that he doesn’t want people reading Whitman because of his sexuality? Why not? Whitman’s “Calamus” poems meant a lot to me when I was younger, and I would never have discovered them had I not heard about Whitman’s sexuality and the poems’ reputation. I see in them a beautiful expression of the romantic feelings I then had for my ex-boyfriend, and I can’t read them now without getting misty-eyed. Like a lot of great poetry, the poems powerfully describe feelings of romantic/erotic longing, the distinction being that they clearly describe feelings of romantic/erotic longing between men. It isn’t “subtext.” You don’t have to “read between the lines.” It’s there, in the words on the page. Whitman’s sexuality informs his writing, even if his writing isn’t explicitly sexual.

Unfortunately, in the nineties there persisted this idea that homosexuality was something to be guarded against, lest it corrupt our children or our own imaginations when engaged in the intellectual enjoyment of nineteenth-century verse. Depending on where you are in the world, it’s an attitude that still persists or even prevails. And this episode of Northern Exposure appears to embody it.

For me, Whitman’s “Calamus” poems are a powerful reminder of a time in my life when I was young and happy and in love. But Chris appears to be suggesting that I’m reading Whitman wrong. Well… Fuck you Chris. There’s nothing wrong with highlighting the fact that Walt Whitman was likely gay or bi, or that a significant number of his poems appear to have been informed by his own homoerotic desire. It can do a lot of people – gay or bisexual people, for example – a lot of good to know that people who felt the way they do existed in the 19th century, and that they wrote beautiful verse you could share with a loved one.

It should be clear by now that, unlike Maurice, I don’t believe it’s a mistake to humanize our heroes. Knowing Mark Twain loves cats humanizes him. In no way does it diminish my love of Mark Twain (but then I’m a cat person, so I’m biased). Other than the very worst literary critics, who really wants to see the likes of Twain and Whitman reduced to cold, lifeless marble statues in the Pantheon of the American Literary Canon? It does us no harm, either, to learn the personal and political beliefs of our heroes, especially if we don’t want people thinking we share certain of those beliefs. Hero worship is problematic in general, but it’s impossible for us not to admire people, to have our own personal heroes. But as we grow and change over the course of our lives, we shouldn’t be afraid to update that list.

In the course of its run, Northern Exposure introduced a gay male couple; confirmed that its founders, Cicely and Roslyn, were a lesbian couple; and was the second US TV show to feature a gay wedding (the first being Roc [Fox, 1994-1994]). Northern Exposure was not only on the right side of history, it was consistently ahead of its time. If I’ve been especially hard on this episode, it’s because I know how far it falls short of the show’s future accomplishments.

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