#i hope to god everyone else's time is going better than mine atm

[just-antithings]

I can read tiny text with little to no issue and I recently found out that I can distinguish different shades of the same colour better than your average person can and even I can't read some of these DNI-banners, good lord!

You'd think making sure everybody can read them would be priority numero uno otherwise they're basically useless.

You’d think that!

I actually use my friend who has issues reading stuff as my art beta tester to make sure my shit is readable for fic banners/covers/etc because if he can read it, I’m fine, and if he can’t, I’m not. Sometimes this means not using fonts I really fucking like in the name of accessibility. Because, yanno, letting people read shit without stressing themselves out or hurting themselves is important.

[chidoroki]

Head empty, pre-TPN season 2 thoughts only.

Normally I don’t even bother with hiding spoilers but since the new season is so close I’ll put everything below a cut (if tumblr cooperates) because I do want anime-onlys to enjoy the season with as little knowledge to what madness is about to happen as possible. This is just a bunch of notes that filled my head over the past couple days.. weeks? A long time.. and if I didn’t write them all down somewhere I wouldn’t stop thinking about them.. so if you understand this whole mess, then kudos to you.

So, here’s your post-season 1/ch37+ spoiler warning.

Demon language:

With Mujika and Sonju making their grand first appearances, I hope actually implement the demon language this time?

The only word spoken in the language in season 1 was the demon god’s name, which was just changed to “Him” (sub) or “The One” (dub), so ignoring it there was fine.

Granted, our demon friends don’t say much in their language during the upcoming arc, aside from this moment in ch48, but I can see the anime passing it off as a mere whisper between the two of them just so they don’t have to worry about it.

I don’t recall any of the GP poachers using the language though.. right? Pretty sure they don’t..

Anyways, all I’m saying is that they better figure something out by the Ayshe shows up way later in future seasons.

Episode count? 24?

Short answer: I don’t think so? Did once, but stuff happened. Anyways..

Season 1 ended in March 2019, which is also when we learned we were getting a second season and once we found later on that S2 was originally going to air in October 2020, I immediately thought we were getting about 24 eps.

I thought with all that time between seasons, 24 eps would be reasonable and that S2 would end at ch101. S1 managed to adapt 37 chapters, so 64 chapters in a season twice as long sound decent enough, right?

By the time we reach ch101, it would give us the demon forest, shelter B06-32, Goldy Pond and the short trip to Cuvitidala. (all of which would make this long wait for s2 sooo worth it btw.)

By this point we learn a bunch about the outside world, Norman being alive, what happened to Phil, and the demon bastard himself.

I bring up ch101 as a stopping point because it’s the last chapter before the two year time skip and.. I honestly can’t see them doing a time skip mid-season?

I mean, they could if they wanted to, I guess? Having everyone age up suddenly between episodes via a montage, a quick summary or even flashbacks of what we missed.. but maybe at the start of a season? Not in the middle.

Right now we know anime original scenes are going to be included into season 2 so I’m kinda hoping that once we do eventually reach the time skip we learn more about the search Emma’s group went on for T7W/golden water/temples.

I counted. If S2 does indeed get this many episodes, ep23 (or 22, if there’s a break in between somewhere or whatever) will land on my birthday and you can bet I’ll be beyond happy

HOWEVER! all the hope I once had about a 24ep season vanished due to the clusterfuck that was 2020. Thanks to the worldwide pandemic, many anime were put on hold and pushed back several months, with TPN airing this month rather than the original October date.

It was a bummer hearing about the delay at first but I never complained about it. I much rather have the studios prioritize their employee’s health over production.

Even if S2 did reach ch101, or even Goldy Pond, they would need to find a ton of new voice actors, and with how the world is working now.. eh, I have some doubts.

Cloverworks also has two other series airing this month aside from TPN so needless to say they’ll be a bit busy, especially if employees are still working from home, social distancing, or however they’re managing to produce these anime.

So, episode count.. 12?

The main reason I have a hard time grasping the idea of another 12ep season at all is because.. I don’t know where it’ll be a decent place for it to stop?

S1 ending at ch37 with the kids escaping? Perfect. You can’t question that decision. But now? When a whole bunch of craziness is about happen? How do you choose another perfect moment to end a season with?

No matter how many anime original scenes they have planned for the demon forest, I believe we’ll at least reach B06-32, which will get us to ch52.

Could they go farther? Sure. Perhaps ending at ch59-60? It would leave us off with Emma & Ray leaving the comfort of the shelter to follow Yuugo into yet another demon infested forest, much like how S1 left off, as the escapees left their once safe, comfortable life into the unknown world.

Or end at ch64? After Emma gets snatched by the poachers? It could work. It would certainly leave everyone wanting more, especially us manga readers because goddamn the GP arc would be SO close!

Perhaps ch74 after seeing Norman alive? Just so it’s not a big darn secret anymore to those who are going into this season blind? (how do people manage to stay anime only? i’m not trying to make anyone feel bad.. i’m just impressed? i caught up to the manga right after s1 because i didn’t have the self control to wait!)

Ending on that chapter would be so bittersweet to me.. because you know what appears in ch75 and it’s literally one of the only things I care about.

S2 preview trailers already teased some of the demon forest scenes I’m most excited about, so the only things left that will truly excite me are Yuugo and that darn outfit. (seriously, whenever we do get to see emma in her gp outfit for the first time, someone better scream at me so i can die from happiness.)

Okay, and all the GP kids too.. especially their trio!

Could they fit the Goldy Pond arc into a 12 episode season along with every other event that came before it? I.. seriously hope not? 

Compared to s1, which was very dialogue heavy, GP is about as action packed as we’re gonna get in the near future, and those scenes are going to fly by once they get put into motion.

Quick example (because it was recent and i can’t think of something else atm): the Overhaul arc from My Hero Academia. Off the top my head it was about 40 total ch? That arc took up half of the show’s S4, which was a total 25 eps.

So with the GP ending at ch96, it’ll give us about 20-30 chapters (depending on where you personally see the start of this arc I guess? once yuugo leads the duo through the forest, when emma gets snatched or when the battle actually starts)

If GP were to happen in s2 where there’s 12 episodes.. literally everything would be so fast paced and I don’t want them to rush anything or leave stuff out?

Other options?

It’s very wishful thinking and I would be getting my hopes up for nothing, because I know it won’t happen, but I could possibly see them fitting GP arc if S2 was made up of 18eps?

6 eps for the demon forest, 6 for Goldy pPond, the remaining 6 to accommodate B06-32, Cuvitidala and any other anime original scenes as they wish.

Although fitting about 64 chapters into 12-18 episodes sounds a bit much.. but not really? I seriously have no idea at this point how much story we’re going to cover this season.

Could I perhaps place all my hopes towards a second cour later this year? Like for the summer.. or would I be expecting too much?

This all could’ve been avoided if they just tell us! Seriously, I’ve been thinking about episode count since last year.. and now you have to deal with this mindless chatter of mine.

I’d honestly be okay with another 12ep season though. We waited this long that I’ll just be excited to see all the children again.

Anime-only scenes:

Those 3 days the children spent learning from our demon friends? Yes please! Did you know Emma not only learned how to use a bow and arrow but a freakin’ harpoon as well? Like.. hello?? I must see this!

Perhaps they’ll even adopt some of the extra pages from some of the chapters, like they did in S1 with the flashback of Norman being sick in ep10.

I know this will be such a high hope, but I remember in ch177 how Emma claims that after they escaped, they all remembered how kind Isabella really was, so if they decide to adapt the extras from ch41-42 & ch45, I’ll cry.

And these pages? Cloverworks, please..

I’m literally begging here..

Especially these two! Even though I still doubt we’ll reach Goldy Pond if we get 12eps.. but in the future! Please!

Other random nonsense:

I may or may not get emotional upon seeing Isabella at the very start when she goes to confront Grandma Sarah. If her hair is kept down as it was at the end of S1 then I’ll give the anime staff my sincere thanks.

We only heard 15 seconds of “Identity” and yet it has been living in my head rent free ever since that trailer dropped. I need to hear the full song sooo damn badly, y’all have no idea.

Here’s hoping they don’t cut out the inner monologues again. At this moment I don’t remember any specific ones from the demon forest I want to see but I’m sure they’re present.

I’m ready to die at every cute Chris moment they give us.. and this entire scene where the kids scold Ray. 

Literally every scene with Emma & Ray. They’re my top 2 favorites from this series okay? Of course I’m going to fangirl over them. (they already showed the hug in one of the trailers and i damn near cried)

If we see him, (which i’m sure we will, but i still have tiny some doubts) I hope they give Yuugo a fantastic voice actor.

Also, his nicknames for everyone!! Literally everything about that man I’m hyped for.

Again, very doubtful we’ll get GP in a 12ep season, but whenever that arc decides to grace us with its presence, “63194” better play on full blast when ch92-93 gets animated.

Speaking of music, while I’m completely excited to hear the new OST that Obata has in store for us (thank god he’s doing this season again btw!), I hope we hear some of those unused tracks from the first season, specifically “Their Own Thoughts.”

Every time Emma mentions their future, their goals or how her family will always be together, I’ll cry. (thanks demon god and your stupid reward)

Yes I’ll be doing those reaction posts (if you follow me i’m sure you’ve seen them by now) after every new episode as I do with other series I watch.. once I survive the usual long day at work, avoiding anything TPN related so I can watch in peace and quiet when I finally get home.. damn it, im already so anxious, help.

[pottahonlyfanz]

PART 1 TO THIS STORY

I have no followers. But I’m going to do this anyways, I used to write on WP but lost my account info. Maybe some will see this, maybe some won’t...I feel awkward BUT I do know that I want to. So here I go.

EVENTUALLY will be Ron Weasley Xreader...smut/fluff. This is just the introduction I guess. Sort of like a he’s-the-last-person-y/n-ever-expected story. So this first part is just really accentiuating and leading up to that. Still smutty moments though for sure. Sorry if my grammar or spelling is shit I’m to impatient atm to check it all. Enjoy! (Or don’t)

You were finally in your seventh year here at Hogwarts. The journey from your younger years to now felt like ages. I mean that being said, you also did run into a few near-death-but-not-close-enough-to-do-any-real-damage (well mental health wise that was debatable but ANYWAYS) experiences a year which could have certainly made the process to graduation day feel dreadful at times. Not to say you graduating will solve all of your and everyone elses problems but in the mean time it was cute to pretend it would.

As you approached your last days in class you couldn’t help but think about all of the opportunities you may have missed with your attractive mates that filled the halls of Hogwarts on a daily basis. You had never really been a sexual person so you having your virginity at 17 years old didn’t bother you too much. Or at least that’s the front you put on to avoid going through the awkwardness of losing it. So instead of taking the opportunities you may have had to lose it, or do it or however the hell you prefer to say it...you act as if nobody interests you. As if you’re one of those I’m-not-interested-in-anyone-around-me-because-they-don’t-reach-my-standards type of girls. Which is totally fine! But also just not at all the case for you. It was just a front. Just a rouse for the truth. The truth being although you acted confident you were incredibly insecure and never wanted ANYONE to see you so vulnerable.

If you’re being completely and totally honest with yourself right now, you’re not as cold and anti-boys as the act you put up makes it seem. You’ve never fallen in love with anyone and been in denial about it or anything like that...we’re still FAIRLY cold hearted. But, you did think about yourself with people. Not exactly romantically no that’s not the word...passionately...maybe...well let’s just cut to the chase. You have sexual fantasies about those surrounding you WAY more than you’d like to admit. Well you’d never admit to feeling sexually attracted to a soul but you REALLY, really couldn’t even bring yourself to accept the one realization that you like any other teenager had desires.

Now that we’ve gotten our background information down...lets fast forward to period 3. Snapes class. Your first fantasy of the day always occurs there. Malfoy.

You were a griffindor so the faint idea of a sythlerin was supposed to repulse you. And it did, it truly did. You couldn’t stand Malfoy or the stupid little act he put on as if he were some big shot. You saw right through it all, as you did with everyones B.S. around here. But as you observed Draco throughout your years of developing you noticed some things you didn’t hate...

-His hands...his fingers were long, slender...his hands bombarded with his veins that you noticed popped out more than usual when he spoke. The silver crest ring that rested upon his index made you question how it would feel with him knuckles deep in you.

-His jawline...sharp, sculpted so perfectly. As if jawlines were made off of a blueprint that came from Draco Malfoys face. Which would look so pretty eating you out as if it were his last meal.

-His lips...oh his lips. They were plump but not overly full. The way they puckered as he made that smug look whenever somebody pissed him off. They were always kissable, sure. But something about his mouth when he was angry drove you absolutely mad. Sometimes you’d push his buttons a little extra just to get the satisfaction of looking so, so sexy.

Of course you couldn’t stand his personality or his presence but that’s what made thinking about it more fun. He was forbidden fruit, eniticing forbidden fruit. Which made it even more fun.

Your Narrating now/Your POV:

“What are you looking at Y/N? Don’t you have anything better to do than day dream about me?” Draco snarked.

“In your dreams, Draco. I was looking at the piece of lunch you have leftover on your chin. Saving it for later?” I replied exuding nothing but attitude and confidence. Everyone chuckled after that and Malfoy blushed and shot me an angry glare. I felt a bit guilty for being such a bitch but there was no other excuse I could’ve had for blatantly staring at the man and I have to keep up my tough exterior. Especially towards a syltherin.

Thankfully moments later the bell rang and Snape dismissed us. Before I could even walk out the door I was knocked to the ground after a strong nudge into the door from none other but Malfoy storming past me. He was pissed, but what could I do. There’s no way I would apologize. Not to anyone, certainly not to Malfoy. He’ll get over it. But in the mean time I grabbed my books all knocked out of my hands, dusted myself off and made my way to period 4. Flitwicks class. Now onto another fantasy. Granger. Hermione Granger. She was my mate, we had dormed together since 1st year. She was always easy to talk to, helpful, intelligent. One of my bestfriends here at Hogwarts. My view of her had always been innocent. Until like I said...fifth year when my hormones got the best of me. It wasn’t like a me-falling-for-the-straight-girl situation or anything (which if we’re being compltely honest would be debatable anyways as she expressed to me once that she plays for both teams but...she kind of beat around the bush so that could’ve been my imagination running with what it wanted to hear...) It was another completely sexual thing. From her slender shoulders, to her toned and mesmirising figure, twiddling down to her perfect manicured fingernails...her beauty always consumed me whenever I found myself glancing her way.

I thought about a lot of things with Hermione. I thought about how it would feel with her down on me as I gripped a few strands of her overwhelmingly beautiful hair. I thought about how her warm, sensual lips would feel against mine as I fondled her sweet spot below...dipping my fingers in and out of her with ease and pleasure. About how her moans would be soft but reassuring at the same time. Or just how badly I wanted to feel her, pleasure her...please her. I would be completely selfless when it came to Hermione in bed beca-

“Y/N? Y/N!....are you even remotely paying attention? You’re missing this lesson entirely.” Hermione suddenly scowled at me in a low whisper.

“I- I yeah! I am paying attention. Just got lost in my own thoughts for a second there. Thank you.” I replied back to her. Which honestly, was true. It’s not like these fantasies were ALL I thought about. I kept my grades at low 90s but it was more so because I studied my ass of and can easily understand and retain what I’m being taught even if sometimes my mind wanders elsewhere. Except for those few days, where I slip and find it hard to focus on much else but my desires. Today was one of those days.

“Okay, good. I don’t want to see you get behind and make a fool of yourself. You’re too smart for that. We’re too smart for that.” She said facing back to the tiny teacher after our short whispering encounter. I liked how she was always concerned about her friends. I thought it was sweet it was- NOPE! STOP! I don’t fall for people, I don’t crush on people...I just fantasize about them. I had to remind myself before getting back to paying attention to todays material; pratically drooling over the sight of Hermione sitting in front of me and the sweet scents that excuded her presence.

As I was finally dismissed from that class which felt like an age long wait, I made my way to the Griffindorr common room for my favorite period. My free period. It was one of the many perks of being a seventh year and I looked forward to it every. single. day. Typically I spent this time alone studying or working on projects, except for a few days every now and then I was accompianed by Harry to tutor him for Sprout’s herbology class which he was especially dreadful at. As soon as I walked in I saw his familar face sitting on the floor waiting for me to accompany him. As soon as he felt me looking at him, I was soon greeted with that adorable little smirk of his.

“Y/N! Hello! I hope you don’t mind were sitting on the floor. There’s more space and to be honest its oddly more comfortable.” He said confident and positively.

“Not at all, sounds great. Lets get started shall we?” I answered back in my typical a-bitch-who’s-being-friendly tone. Harry and I were close like I was with Hermione, so I always tried to talk with a warmer demeanor as I actually enjoyed their company.

“Absoultely. I figured we would start with knottgrass since that’s where I need the most help. Then we can move on to sneezewort and bouncing bulb.” He blurbed very assured. I loved how decsisive he was. It was such a turn on.

“Works for me. Lets give it a go.” I answered back to him.

As I went over the currciulum and reassured him or did just the opposite pending he was unsucsessful; I couldn’t help but notice his shirt lifting everytime he stretched his hands over his head, looking more confused than ever. He was getting frustrated and his tone got progressively more and more stern as the period carried on.

“Y/N, I don’t understand this. You’re not explaining it right, and I’m getting confused.” He said with an attitude and his eyes looking like they were near popping out of his head under his glasses. God he looked so sexy when he grew angry, his veins all over him making an apperance under his now rolled up arm sleeves. Exposing his lets just say...distracting arms. They looked as if they could take and over power me any minute had I just said the word. But as always, I supressed my feelings and the sexual tension of the whole I’m-agressively-looking-down-at-your-lips-and-biting-mine-as-I-do-it game he was playing.

“Fine. Maybe we should take a break here. You’re not comprehending what I’m saying because you’re frustrated. Go cool off or something.” I replied stern, but calm.

He rolled his eyes and leaned back so he was against the couch. As I glanced over at him I noticed his...member was growing. He cleared his throat and turned away from me after we had both realized it became noticeably there. I couldn’t blame him nor was I suprised. I took of my robe earlier when I had entered the room because it was quite toasty. Leaving my legs and nipples so obviously there and exposed (as today was no-bra-day...like everyday) and the closeness of our bodies combined with Harry’s obvious desire for me as he got more and more frustrated growing through the room. Harry and I had made out once in fifth year but that’s as far as it got. Mostly because I acted like it didn’t happen after because I wished it hadn’t...not because it wasn’t amazing but because that wasn’t me, that wasn’t what I had time for. We never spoke of it again and nobody ever knew. Although ever since then there had always been some tension there. Which seemed to progress once we were alone...I pretended to ignore it and acted oblivious to my very apparent sex appeal that came with developing my figure as I grew older. Regardless of my deep insecurities, I saw here and there little glimpses of liking things about myself which gave me the fake confidence I exude. Although now felt like a moment of weakness. As I had seen Harry’s CLEARLY very hard...long...girth it had been silent ever since. Mostly because I was dreaming of him taking himself and getting off in my mouth, but 2 minutes later of us sitting in that silence; I decided to break it. As much as I craved Harry, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

“Are you cooled down now? Can we continue the review? Or would you prefer we pick up where we left off last time...” I question acting cool and calm as if I hadn’t seen a thing.

“We can just...continue tomorrow. If you’re free. Or tonight. Possibly in my dorm? I find it easy to study there...” He said, still frustrated but almost seductively. And oh how my body ached for me to say yes. Oh how I longed to taste and feel Harry Potter. Just thinking about it had me moving around seeking a bit of friction in my soaked panties.

“Oh, tomorrow is fine. I’ll meet you back in here same time?” I answered.

He let out a slight but still noticeable sigh. “Yeah, same time.” He responded as if I had let him down.

As I got up and began to gather my things, I noticed he was staring down my shirt. “Potter!” I yelled. “Can I help you with something?!” His face turned beat red, his member still there; still growing.

“Oh! N-n-No! I apologize. I thought you had something on your...y-your shirt.” He answered nervously. Had I made him nervous? Harry Potter?..nervous? I had never seen him like this, unsure of himself. It was almost...facsinating to say the least. I acted as if it wasn’t obvious to save his pride.

“Oh. Okay. Sorry for getting snappy. I just thought- well. Y’know. Have a goodnight, Potter. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said in a warm but sure tone.

“No worries. See you tomorrow. Goodnight Y/N.” He replied clearly very relieved that his rouse had worked. (Or so he assumed)

I grabbed my robe and continued with my things as I turned around and walked out of the room feeling his beautiful blue eyes on me with every step I took.

As I finished my last class and went back to my dorm that night, my mind was nowhere but on the thought of Harry who I kept wondering if he had been thinking of me. My body craved him. Deeply. Desperately. Yet that would never happened, so I dreamed.

[punkscowardschampions]

Saint & Leilani

Saint: So, how many people with my surname have found their way into your inbox today? Leilani: few Saint: I hope those few have behaved and not been too taxing on your typing fingers or your patience Leilani: you're making it sound more fun & scandalous than it came close to Saint: That would be an odd but not unentirely precedented way to welcome you for us Saint: I'm just more than aware how...much, shall we be polite and say, some of them can be, even at the best of times Leilani: 😅 Leilani: are you forgetting which one of you I live with? Saint: 😅 Saint: I am in no way doubting your ability to cope with it, or previous experience doing so, just apologizing for the times you don't feel like being so gracious about their...persistence Leilani: thanks, I think? Leilani: the sentence was a mouthful to digest but I detected some sweetness in it Saint: I'm happy to apologize for my taste as well Saint: and will try to be more palatable Leilani: coming thick & fast but still smooth with it, that's impressive Saint: I'll accept that I'm potentially being much of a muchness with some of the more well-meaning but over-the-top members of my family, if that's what you're saying Saint: but admittedly, I'll struggle to hear I'm on par with certain ones who best remain nameless until I get more of a gage for your tolerance of their particular brand of care 😅 Leilani: I'm not saying much, personally, until I work out how much of this welcome wagon is genuinely what you'd like to say vs what you feel like you must Leilani: to make up for the rest or walk on eggshells in case I crack up Saint: Well, I haven't been instructed to talk to you, if that's what you mean Saint: and without a doubt, I have no idea how I would ideally like to broach this subject, because I have literally no firsthand experience Saint: I imagine that must be frustrating, is it? Leilani: it can be coming from you but not coming from you, if you know what I mean Leilani: deep in there, maybe you've got a whole other convo you'd love to be having Saint: I'm receptive to any conversation you'd like to have Saint: well, almost any, I'm sure Leilani: you & everybody else Leilani: the talk about me is non-stop Saint: We wouldn't have to talk about you Saint: I don't have any particular bias towards the subject of you, though it would be bad manners to ask you no questions about yourself, I can refrain if you have, like I said and assumed, had enough for a while Leilani: it's good manners if I'm in no mood to answer questions about me Leilani: but it'd be my bad to tell you to shush & end this convo just like that Saint: As you've saved me from the mortal sin of impoliteness with your rhetoric there, I'll save you from having to do so and can leave it there Leilani: take a turn in the hot seat, see how you feel about it Leilani: prep if I haven't saved you from 👿🔥 Saint: I'm not inclined to believe the creator would be that unforgiving, but that's what Catholicism will do for your morals, I suppose Saint: Fire away, as it were 🔥 Leilani: you're a catholic? Saint: Culturally, definitely Saint: I'm not sure my commitment to the church is such I can claim myself as fully saved, yet Leilani: mine goes as far as loving the 1st Eid for its treats & ignoring the sacrifices of the 2nd, can't call it commitment Saint: I don't think you're alone in that philosophy and approach Saint: but I don't necessarily think that's terrible at all, as long as you're finding some joy and fulfilment from religion- that is certainly a huge tenant of all the ones I've heard of, so it can only be a positive Leilani: how my friends celebrate 🎄🎁🎅 shows me I'm not Leilani: party > church Saint: Precisely, commercialism argument aside Saint: any promotion of togetherness, community and goodwill, what could be the issue? Leilani: the issue is in the confusion Leilani: people thinking it's something its not Saint: There's plenty issue around 🎄🎁🎅 but no more than most anything in our society today Leilani: if you're trying to take issue with something on any level, you'll find a way Saint: Don't you think problems should be solved? Leilani: if it can Leilani: big if Saint: Of course Saint: I think the if only makes the pursuit of more vital, I don't find it to be invalidating Leilani: sure but some questions aren't if or but ones Saint: Such as? Leilani: if I said, you're the fittest member of this family, let's go out, your answer would be no, becos you are a member of this family, it doesn't matter if you add I would if I wasn't Leilani: the answer's still no Saint: No, my answer would be that there's truly only one absolute in this life Saint: that I know of Saint: there are laws, ethics, morality and codes of conduct in all societies, sure Saint: but nothing is certain Leilani: birth & death are certain Leilani: one brought you here, the other me Saint: I was thinking about death Saint: birth is luck, usually, it's a little different Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: accepted Saint: We can differ on perspectives there, it's fine 😃 Saint: in fact, the father would probably want to put forth an argument for the opposite, now I think about it Saint: worse Catholic than I thought Leilani: I was thinking that 🤰 = birth, the certainty part being you don't get to stay in but you know Saint: I see what you mean Saint: anyone that is here is a certainty Saint: think we're going into Schroedinger territory there, I respect it Leilani: ���📦 Saint: 👍 Saint: who am I to say that whatever people are before and after they're people here can't debate philosophy Leilani: these are bigger questions than I expected Saint: And I wasn't meant to even ask how you were Saint: 🤐 Saint: go on Leilani: I've got a headache now 😅 Saint: Oh dear Saint: That's the first time that's happened, I would assure you but that sounds like a losing battle and another knock for my ego Leilani: your ego wants to take it as brush off, retro as hell Leilani: but I don't get questions that deep posed around me is all Saint: Retro...God, just don't take my 'deep' questions as a sign of pretension or I'm getting more tragic by the second! Leilani: it's okay I'm not a downtrodden wifey from back in the day, we're in an era where I can just tell you no Saint: and we're all the better for it Saint: though I don't think I've asked you any question where you'd be directly answerable to me 🤔 Saint: giving me a little too much credit for the universe and it's many questions there Leilani: I don't want your ego to end this convo black & blue Saint: That's very kind of you Saint: but my ability to take criticism could be compared to your ability to cope with Grace, just so we're clear Leilani: Grace isn't hard to cope with Leilani: I like her Saint: I'm glad to hear that, it would be really hard if you didn't Saint: harder, than it is, of course Saint: don't think I'm bashing her really, as I said, they all mean well, I can just imagine that relentless good intentions and meaningful conversations to be had would get very exhausting very fast Leilani: everything's happened fast Leilani: they're all playing catch up to the unexpected Saint: But you're the important one here Saint: most, although I was adding that to try and take the pressure off but clearly that's easier said than done Leilani: this is where I add something about pressure creating 💎 Saint: I don't loathe the sentiment but does it make you feel any better? Leilani: no Saint: then I wouldn't worry Saint: and I doubt there's anything hugely meaningful I can do to make you feel better in an impactful, big way Saint: but if you think of anything on a smaller scale that you would like Saint: don't hesistate to ask Leilani: will you introduce me to everyone in a retro way? Leilani: 🗨  & 🤝 Saint: That I can do Saint: The upsides to this family being as large as it is is that you're never short of functions to hijack for whatever purpose you may need Saint: and you won't have to worry about being centre of attention unless it's your birth, wedding or death Saint: even then, people have their own agendas Leilani: no pressure or as close as Leilani: when's the next? Saint: Exactly Saint: [literally whatever and whenever we want, offer a selection to show your point lol] Leilani: [picks the one where she can serve the best lewk because gotta make an impression regardless especially when you're nervous] Leilani: it's a date Saint: That it is Saint: if you'd rather show up with another kid, I'm happy to come pick you up from Grace's Saint: up to you, of course Leilani: pick me up 🚗 Leilani: I have no idea how Grace is allowed on the road Saint: 😅 Saint: I suppose they reckon the amount of potholes, we're all playing a dangerous game at the mercy of the council Leilani: 🙏 by god's grace like Saint: Seems that's all that's left in the budget 🙄 Leilani: 😅😅 Saint: I think you're in my sister's year Saint: Venus, that is Leilani: what should I think about it? Saint: You know you hypothesized that I was the fittest member of this family? Leilani: it's too late to drop the bomb that I should've asked her to pick me up Saint: She'll need a lift as much as you Saint: but meaning, she'd have taken DEEP offence to that assertion Saint: the headache would be realer Leilani: oops Leilani: & yikes Saint: again, not here on a smear campaign Saint: but I'd be doing you a disservice if I pretended she's universally easy to get on with Saint: perhaps you'll take to each other though Leilani: I'm not easy to get on with atm Leilani: but I do get a free pass Saint: You're doing fine Saint: unless this is your attempt at belligerence, in which case, sorry 😬 Leilani: attempting nothing but no pressure face to face intros Leilani: how could you forget already? Saint: 🤦 forgive me? Leilani: 💅 Leilani: hold on, I'll ask myself what my god would do Leilani: ... Leilani: yeah sure Saint: 😅 Saint: I was hoping distraction only fell under bad manners, not sin Leilani: it depends how you're distracting me Saint: What I offered would depend on how 😇/😈 you preferred your distractions Leilani: if I don't have both on offer how can I possibly choose? Saint: That's completely fair, actually Leilani: I know Leilani: so don't be unfair Saint: Wouldn't dream of it Leilani: is there anyone else you'd like to warn me about, while you're being fair? Leilani: or anyone I should run into the arms of like 🤗🤗? Saint: Warn would be extreme Saint: I don't think anyone is that bad Saint: I would have to know you better personally to say who I think you'd really click with, but there's plenty of us, I'm sure you will with someone Leilani: indulge me in the drama of it, St Leilani: 🤦😅 Saint: Oh, right Saint: you want the gossip of it all so you also have prior information on them coming into the conversations Saint: let me think then Leilani: I miss when my friends wanted to talk about that stuff Leilani: instead of me & my feelings Saint: That makes sense Saint: maybe you and Vee will get on then Saint: there's just a lot of drama to get into Saint: your head and inbox would be rocked Leilani: I've got time Leilani: & my head's already a mess Saint: Okay then Saint: bear with me if my typing speed gets retro Leilani: 😄 Saint: [just methodically go through all that is messed up with the fam nbd] Leilani: holy hell Leilani: I know I asked for that but did I though? Leilani: where have I come to live Leilani: 👋🚕 Saint: Yes Saint: sorry Leilani: hold on I need to just ✈️ Leilani: I thought my mum's relationship history was crazy Saint: It is what it is Saint: we all still manage fine Leilani: by the grace of god again, or whatever other means necessary Saint: Maybe Saint: I don't think it's all that dire now Leilani: maybe when I've come though all the stages of grief I'll be able to let you know what I think Saint: Look forward to it Leilani: I did make it sound really hot Saint: 😏 Saint: we're not all messed up, thank you Leilani: I'm used to being that half of the convo Leilani: you do you Saint: How are you messed up then? Leilani: other than having no parents now? Saint: Yeah Leilani: I'm not doing this right Leilani: any of it Saint: What aren't you doing right? Leilani: I miss her but like she's gone on holiday or a work course Leilani: not like she's never coming back Saint: Well, what's the first stage of grieving Saint: you feel like you aren't missing her hard enough, but if you were out of denial already, you'd actually be taking it way too fast Saint: be rude, right? Saint: Think of it like that Leilani: my rudeness is worse, wanting to hang out with my friends how I did before Leilani: care about 👗👠💄 Saint: Your entire world has been turned upside down Saint: of course you're craving normality Saint: I'm not just saying all this to appease you Saint: you're a kid that just lost her mum Saint: I literally do not believe there's any way you could get through this that would be wrong, or would reflect poorly on you Leilani: she needs to walk back in & badmouth all her worst clients Leilani: she can't be lost Saint: I'm so sorry Saint: that it's so unfair Leilani: unfair was when my dad stopped sending money & letters after going back home for what he said would be a few months Leilani: this is Leilani: I don't even know Saint: How old were you? Leilani: does it make a difference? Saint: Did it? Leilani: I'd just started school, so financially, yeah Saint: Do you know what he's doing now, like, where he is? Leilani: no Leilani: my mum said he had another family there Leilani: someone he was actually married to Saint: Right Saint: that was a cowardly thing for him to do Saint: the minimum would've been financial support Leilani: sadly I can't get it backdated Leilani: imagine Leilani: 👗👠💄 Saint: I'd have to look into it Saint: but probably not Saint: very hard to enforce at any rate Leilani: & taking food out of his other children's mouths, assuming he has some others Saint: Yeah Saint: but you can't be held responsible for his life choices Leilani: neither can they then Saint: I meant it'd be his problem to worry about and solve Saint: but I can understand not wanting to literally steal candy from a baby, as it were Leilani: I haven't been his problem for years, I'm Grace's now Leilani: this family's with all their existing crazy Saint: Okay, getting in contact with your dad for reparations isn't the first step Leilani: it's a mis-step Leilani: he fell off the earth, I'm not following him Saint: Okay Saint: so, what would you be doing with your friends today, if things were normal? Leilani: 🛍 Saint: So, I'll give you both options Saint: I can drive you to your friends, or whatever 🛍 you go to with them Saint: or you can come 🛍 with me Leilani: you can take me Leilani: they don't know how to act now that I'm 💣💥 Saint: they probably think they're giving you time Saint: but really, they're asking for it Saint: at least, that's how I see it Saint: maybe next weekend, or the next Saint: but we can go for now Leilani: it's okay, I wouldn't deal any better if the roles were reversed Leilani: it's not their bad that there's nothing to say or do Saint: You're very fair Saint: not to detract from how much of a 💣💥 you feel Leilani: you're flattering me like I'm not a 💣💥 Leilani: I don't know what that says about you Saint: It's honesty, not flattery Saint: The situation is a 💣💥 Saint: I've seen people handle significantly worse, that's all Leilani: it feels nice, honesty doesn't usually Saint: that's a resounding endorsement Saint: probably a bit too smug to put on a poster or LinkedIn but still, I appreciate it Leilani: you know what I mean, honesty is usually like that 💅 isn't the one or you need braces, child Saint: I think people purposefully conflate being honest with being rude Saint: but you can weaponize anything if you're that sort of person Leilani: yeah ☕ Saint: There's plenty of that sort at church Leilani: & the salon Saint: I've spent less time there myself but I imagine they're much of a muchness Saint: 👵 they all love me, obviously but father is a perfect case study for diplomacy Leilani: it's a type of church for some people Leilani: they take it as serious as a religion Saint: Hair and beauty has always been important Leilani: they just like being able to see results, there's no guarantee when you pray Saint: I'd argue there's no guarantee you get the result you wanted Saint: perhaps even less than 🙏 Saint: maybe you get what you need, not what you want Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: maybe not for 👵 if they're trying to look 👩 Saint: it highlights the limitations of communication Saint: you think you've asked concisely for one thing, and you end up with something that's nothing like that at all Leilani: I swear I did see my mum work some genuine miracles, that said Saint: It is without a doubt impressive what can be achieved Leilani: what do you want to be? Saint: I want to work for the government Leilani: we haven't been talking that long but that has come through Saint: Is there any particular way you'd like me to take that honesty? Leilani: as a compliment? Leilani: I think Saint: 😅 I think I can manage that then Leilani: I'll tell you what I used to want to be when I was a child, that's weirder Saint: Not admitting it's weird, but go on Saint: I'm intrigued Leilani: clues: Leilani: 🦷💉🥛😁 Leilani: 🚫🍬🍭🍫 Saint: Okay, question, just the one Saint: did you want to be rich or did you just really care about oral hygiene? Leilani: I wanted to make people pretty like my mum, I suppose was the thought process Leilani: & 😁 = happy Saint: So it's even more adorable than I first thought Saint: you don't want to be a dentist anymore? Leilani: the reality is way more gory than I knew then Saint: That's enough to give me a headache Leilani: I need a job with no blood or pus Leilani: even typing that made me feel weird Saint: 😖 Saint: Subject change Saint: are you going to buy anything today? Leilani: do I need to dress to impress your family or just myself? Saint: do you want me to invite my family out shopping with us? Leilani: you do have a lot of sisters Leilani: but you know I meant do I need a new outfit for this meet & greet you're taking me to of the entire extended clan Saint: Oh, gotcha Saint: dress for yourself, of course Saint: unless dressing to impress makes you feel more at ease, in which case, go for that and you won't be alone Leilani: it can't hurt Saint: No, there we go then 😊 Saint: though you can still do the aimless browsing I know 🛍 trips are really about, of course Leilani: are you looking to dress up too? Saint: I like to look presentable Leilani: oh good becos if it was just me, Grace & your sister that'd be a statement Saint: 😅 Saint: don't worry, it won't be Leilani: I'll do my happy dentist 😁 then Leilani: as I'm thrilled Saint: I'm just as 😁 to hear that Leilani: I'll try not to turn it into a frown with excessive browsing Leilani: no promises Saint: I've got a lot of sisters, as you said Saint: I'm sure I'll cope Leilani: which one's your favourite? Saint: which sister? 😂 Saint: I'm not sure there's a diplomatic way to answer that Leilani: answer it honestly, I can promise not to slide in to share the news Saint: Well, Jay is older and we didn't meet her until she was a kid so that combined with her personality makes her the most chilled out now Saint: Vee is younger but still close enough that we were kids together, so that makes her prime annoying younger sister category Saint: then the twins are that much younger that they get to be removed from that, and I have more of that protective older brother in me Leilani: Okay so Jay's your fave Leilani: what's your brother like? Saint: No, I didn't say that Saint: but she wasn't here in the beginning and she's grown up and gone now, it's easy to have less negatives to say about her Leilani: how old were you when you met? Saint: I was about 3 when we found out about her Saint: but the process took a while because she had a dad that raised her and still wanted to even though she wasn't his like he thought Saint: I think I was about 8 when she moved in and spent most of her time with us Leilani: that must have been such a weird time Saint: it was Saint: Vee was born around the time we found out about her so Saint: that was a trial too Leilani: your parents have had a LOT going on Saint: Yes, it seems to be their forte Leilani: your brother then Saint: he's younger too, so again, protective Saint: probably because we're outnumbered too Leilani: an if question Leilani: if you had to give me one of them, as an only child, which one would you give me? Saint: 😂 an odd request but okay, let me 🤔 Saint: Probably Sekh Saint: from the short conversation we've had, you have things in common, that would work well 🛍👠💄👗 Leilani: you're gonna separate the twins? very disney channel Saint: It was either lump them in together there and offend them, or separate and acknowledge that they're separate people Saint: they'll understand 😅 Leilani: 😅 Leilani: safer if I ask Grace for a pet instead Saint: Sure that she'd be down for that Saint: 🐰🐹🐱🐶🐠? Leilani: 🤔 Saint: That is a big decision Saint: best to take your time, decide how much effort you wanna put in to day to day care Leilani: 🐱 or 🏠🐰 Saint: Cute Saint: got any names or do you need to see it before assigning one Leilani: it feels fairer to meet them 1st Saint: 👍 Saint: we can go to the nearest pet shop/shelter if you'd like Leilani: adopt don't shop, St Leilani: or else 👿🔥 Saint: Indeed 😏 Saint: but you know most shops rescue their animals now anyway Saint: except fish...but I don't know how we're morally meant to feel about breeding fish? Leilani: we won't buy any, be on the safe & 😇 side Saint: It's your day Saint: I wouldn't try to bring you down to 👿🔥 levels Leilani: thanks, I have only just moved in Saint: Definitely not my intention with this conversation, or any going forward Leilani: that comes through too Saint: Is that a compliment? Leilani: I don't know if you're 😁 or not to be a good & polite boy Saint: Why would I want to be anything less 😇? Leilani: becos of your name maybe Saint: Subverting expectations Saint: I'd argue people expect the opposite from me though, regardless of my first name Leilani: in your case pressure makes 😇 Saint: 🤞 I hope so Leilani: I'll subvert expectations for us both Saint: Is that your new plan? Leilani: I don't really have one Leilani: other than the 🛍 Saint: Well, you have time Leilani: yeah, it's the keyword that's getting thrown around most atm Saint: It's not provably true but it's most likely the case Leilani: & it'll fill an awkward silence Saint: I can clearly talk enough for the both of us Saint: it doesn't need to be awkward Leilani: this isn't, but remember how we ref-ed that you weren't the only McKenna in my 💬📱 Saint: Right Saint: is there anything you'd like me to do, beyond the formal introductions Saint: politely suggest some people give it some time, perhaps? Leilani: use the time thing against them, I like it 😅 Saint: Only fair 🙂 Saint: consider it done Leilani: we're back into retro hubby & wifey territory Saint: You think? Leilani: it's very defence squad but I'm not 😤 Saint: I'm not helping you because you're a girl and I'm a boy Saint: just because I have the ability to Leilani: I know, you're coming across capable Saint: I'd like to think so Saint: but bragging about it would not be 😇 nor helpful Leilani: I've got your back in hyping you up a 😇 amount Saint: That's sweet Saint: I promise my ego is not that fragile that I need you to but it's still nice Leilani: I'd like to think I am Leilani: that it's not all doom & gloom in me, but maybe time will have to tell, annoyingly Saint: It shows Saint: honestly Saint: you aren't what's happened to you, even if that is all you can think about right now, or feel it's all you're meant to, or are allowed to, whatever Leilani: whether or not I'm her death, I was her life Leilani: there's credit for how she raised me, I mean Saint: Definitely Saint: I don't know you yet, but I would like to get to know you, from what I've seen Saint: I won't throw out proud for her but, you know Saint: I would be in her position Leilani: I don't know what to say Leilani: that feels above nice to hear Saint: I'm almost certain she would want you to know that, at the very least Leilani: yeah, she would Leilani: she wasn't too humble for a brag Saint: 😅 Saint: you should continue that tradition then Leilani: you'll regret saying that when I make you take 10000000000000s of pictures of me posing in different 👗 Saint: 😏 I'll have to buy myself something expensive to cope, I'm sure Leilani: ⌚️ so you can keep an eye on the time Saint: I have an uncharacteristically free day today Saint: my time is yours Leilani: what are we waiting for? come get me Saint: That's what I was waiting for Saint: I'll be with you shortly Leilani: consent given Saint: 👍

[a-shameless-otome-rp-sideblog]

looking for otome-based RP partners!

Hullo (hopefully future) friends! I’ve got a bit of a weird proposal.

(For anyone who saw the first one on my OTHER-OTHER side blog, this is redux, the 2.0, because that sideblog was TOO NEW to show up in tags and I am really hoping that this one shows up on this MUCH OLDER and REPURPOSED sideblog!) 

ANYWAY, here blog isn’t and probably won’t ever be an RP blog. I’ve RPed on Tumblr a lot in the past (mostly in the Homestuck community, a few years back) and while doing so was a lot of fun, it was also a lot of work! Maintaining pages, bios, graphics, etc, is all stuff I seemed to have all the time in the world for a few years back, but I find I really just don’t anymore.

Unfortunately, I don’t really know where to find RP outside of Tumblr and cherubplay (thanks again, Homestuck!) either, but Cherubplay isn’t exactly the greatest for finding anything outside of just raw-doggin-it-smut-fests and while that can be, uh, fun, it’s not really what I want to focus on when I RP.

So why am I here?

DISCORD RP!!

I’m hoping to find other people who don’t really have time to run an RP blog (or who do have time, but also might be willing to dip their toes into doing it on Discord, too, assuming you aren’t already!) for some good time plotting and roleplaying!

Which I guess brings us to the meat of this whole thing… (more, of course, under the cut!)

WHAT WILL WE RP?

I’ve been real keen on otome lately and I’m really looking to play some canon boys to your MC or OC! While I’ve certainly had my fun playing girls before (mostly in WoW, or other MMORPG settings), I find I always prefer to play dudes, and (if you’d pardon this bit of arrogance!) I think I can be pretty dang good at it!

While I do occasionally ship MxM, it’s really only something I do with my best bro, so I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m really only interested in MxF pairings atm! I hope that’s okay with everyone.

COOL, BUT WHAT SERIES? WHAT CHARACTERS?!

I’d like to say I have a pretty healthy familiarity with a lot of otome, but I’m not sure I’d be the hottest at RPing them all! If it can’t be guessed by my avatar, I’m kind of on a Hakuouki kick right now, so I’m partial to that, for sure, but for ease of readability and so you can get a good idea of what I’m open to, I’ll list them in some nicely formatted order.

Hakuouki Characters

Okita :: Okita is tied for my personal favorite Hakuouki dude with Sannan, but I think I’d enjoy playing him a lot more than Sannan (which isn’t to say I wouldn’t like to play him, too!). I’ve always been partial to smirky, tease-y boys, especially when they’re struggling with confronting their feelings.

Sannan :: Sannan speaks to my love of polite but cold characters, and it’s only a bonus that he’s a megane, which I’ve also always loved! As mentioned above, he’s probably tied with Okita as favorite Hakuouki dude, but I think Okita’d be easier to play.

Kazama :: Kazama is fun because I’ve always had a love for garbage can style kidnap-and-seduce plotlines if that was your kind of thing!

Saito :: I love Saito aesthetically and his personality is pretty rad and I’d rank him as pretty up their on faves, but I admit I don’t have overmuch experience when it comes to awkward slow-to-open-up kinda boys! I’m sure we could make it work though.

Other dudes :: I’d be willing to try honestly most anyone from Hakuouki but these are the ones above are the ones I feel most confident/interested in playing! If you’d like someone else, you can most certainly ask, especially if you have some kind of plotline you’d like to see!

===

Diabolik Lovers

Oh baby, yeah I am totally into this hot hot dumpster fire!

Reiji :: As mentioned, I love megane, and Reiji’s probs my favorite of everyone in the whole dang series. Older? Check. Smart? Check. Responsible? Check. Cold? Double check. Really fucking mean? Check. Smirky? Well, in the games, yes!

Shuu :: Sorry Reiji, but I also love Shuu. I might make him just a twinge OOC because his laziness might make advancing the plot kind of headachey, but other than tht, I love this loser.

Subaru :: Subaru, contrary to his third place on this list, is probably pretty close behind Reiji for favorites. Aggressive, ill-refined, totally willing to fight everyone – I admit I tend to play the more well-spoken and calculating kind of characters more, but I’d be willing to rock Subaru for you to the best of my ability!

Ruki :: I won’t say Ruki’s my favorite of the Mukami brothers but I like him a lot and I think I’d play him well!

Everyone else except Azusa and Kou :: Spoiler: I love Azusa to death and find him adorable but I don’t really relish playing openly masochistic characters, so he’s a no go unless we can work something out! Kou is – no offense, but I just really do not like Kou. As far as the famous Sakamaki triplets go, Kanato is one of my absolute all time favorites, and I’d be willing to play him with the right person… but we all know he’s kind of an absolute nutbag, so I’m hesitant to dump that on anyone! Ayato is a staple and Laito could be… like Kanato, I think I’d have to feel pretty assured by my partner they could handle the grosser parts of his character. Open to exploring it, however!

===

Amnesia

I’m not gonna bother sectioning everyone into neat little areas cause there is so few, but Toma is my favorite (I’m a real sucker for yandere, whoops). I’d be willing to play him, of course, provided my partner was comfortable with it! I’d also be willing to do Kent (my second favorite!), Shin and maaaaaaybe Ukyo. Sorry, I didn’t really care for Ikki – not because Ikki was bad (he was actually cool!) but because fan girl route characters drive me BANANAS.

===

Other fandoms :: Hit me up and ask if you want me to try anything! I might surprise you!

===

AND SO THAT LEAVES US WITH… WHAT WILL YOU PLAY?

Honestly, I’m gonna be real with everyone here: I love roleplaying because it’s like writing fanfiction with someone else, so it’s all the fun and self indulgence of fanfiction, but better, cause ya know – someone else is doing it with you! And I’m really here for the self indulgence, so please go ham.

Yeah, you can play the MC of the game, and I’d be cool with that! But honestly, I love OCs, and I’d love to hear about and plot with your OCs. I have some ideas for potential plots (especially for Hakuouki), but I’m also open to your ideas, too, and I think a lot of plots could work best outside the confines of a pre-established MC. Also, you get to show me your drawings/face-claims/whatever for your characters, and that’s pretty rad!!

Also, as someone had asked when I tried to post this on my previously non-functional blog, I’m also open to crossovers! I’m cool even if I don’t know much about the character -- you’ll just have to pardon my ignorance.

===

So, uh… RULES? RP STYLE? ETC? SOME POORLY ORGANIZED POINTS

+ Yeah, I’m deffo 21+ so ideally you would be too, especially if there’s anything like, remotely scandalous going on! I’m not too sure I feel very comfortable RPing with anyone younger than 18, mostly just because there’d be such a big age difference between us. Rest assured it isn’t because I think I’m better than you, or being ageist! It’s mostly just for my own sense of comfort!

+ Speaking of scandalous, I don’t push hard for anything super graphic unless that’s your style because I’m very much a person who loves drowning in the emotions of “holy crap does this guy really like this lady a lot”. I tend to be over indulgent as heck when it comes to inner monologues describing just how much your character makes mine’s heart go doki-doki, so expect a lot of that. If we start heading towards fuck-making of the graphic non-fade-to-black-variety, we should deffo discuss the sorts of things you discuss before those scenes! (Kinks? I GUESS???) But, as mentioned, it’s deffo not at all on top of my list of prerogatives. We need to BUILD for that!

+ My RP style tends to be 3rd or 2nd (lmao, Homestuck) person, present tense, a couple paragraphs to “oh my god, you can shut up now”. You can write however you like, with my only request being that you be passably literate! Not like, snootily literate. You get what I mean? I hope so. ):

+ As far as activity goes, I’m also fine with the Tumblr esque style of replying whenever you get around to it! If we both happen to be on for a barrage of replies, great! If we can only get one or two out a day, also great! I’m pretty easy going, honestly.

+ I love working in universe and also going mad with AUs. Find some cute starters or AU ideas on tumblr and you wanna throw them at me? I’m always open. From vampires where there are none to school AUs to coffee shop AUs I am willing to try most things, but note: I am primarily a fan of DRAMATIC ROMANCE so keep that in mind!

+ Want some kinda crazy love triangle where your lady is pursued by not one, BUT TWO DUDES? We can probably make it happen!

+ I run the gamut from fluffy and sweet romance to angsty yandere esque stuff, so please feel free to talk to me about what kind of dude you’d like!

===

A SAMPLE OF MY STYLE:

It has been months, Okita reminds himself. It has been months, and months, and more months on top of that – almost a year, maybe a little more, even, and as he sets his teeth behind that constant wolf’s grin, he thinks to himself: You should be better than this. You should be stronger.

But for all the time he’s spent with her, it has never gotten easier. No, no – it has only ever gotten worse, and it’s particularly bad now that he’s alone with her, now that she’s so close –

“Okita-san?” Her voice rings in his ears like a few plucked notes of some delicate string instrument, and he feels his lips part, his smile all teeth. She’s paused, midway between pouring him a cup of tea, and her eyes – ever and much too familiar – meet his with a hint of shyness Okita feels guilty for relishing. “Are you okay?”

“Worried about me, mn?” He rolls his head from one shoulder to the next, halfway between a shrug and a stretch, and tries very hard to resist the urge to pull her towards him, into him, that he might catch more of the rich perfume that lingers along the line of her throat. “You shouldn’t be.”

You should, he thinks, and not without a hint of guilt, be more worried about yourself.

===

ANYWAY, IT’S LATE.

I feel like I’m missing some garbage, but I’ll probably add to this tomorrow when I inevitably remember what I forgot! If you’re interested, send me an ask or a submission or a Tumblr… DM? We can work from there with regards to exchanging contact info!

[survivor-rotuma]

Ep. 1: “She reeks of minions” - Apollo

Brianna

My dumbass almost put my real name into the confessional link so we are off to a great start!!! So beginning of the game we have to pick a leader. Thomas kinda automatically pushed it to be Apollo which was funny. But then Apollo asked me if I wanted it bcuz he didn’t want it and that’s a no-no. He was scared people would be intimidated that he got an idol clue so I told him to just share the clue with everyone and take the leadership position which he thought was a good idea....for some reason. Lol. Hopefully he doesn’t screw up the immunity challenge for us and I get an idol clue without having to be the leader :P peace out ✌️

Cassie

Getting to know some of my tribemates has been fun and I definitely feel like we've been clicking well so far. I don't have any bad first impressions.

Felix

So I am getting some good vibes off of Flint and Joey. I think they're pretty cool and match my vibes. Cassie is alright, but she doesn't seem to be the talkative type. Finally there's the two that haven't talked. All I'm saying is that if we HAVE to go to tribal then we know who it should be. Also I would never volunteer myself as leader. What do I look like? Responsible?

Zest

I just got to the island and am still a little apprehensive. This is all very new to me. So far, my tribe seems very nice and go with the flow. But, I think that will change as the game progresses. I am definitely trying to just get an idea of people, but, it is very early in the game. We got the clue that "Idols are forged in fire.” Not completely sure what that means yet. Once we know what the challenge is, that will help! I’ve been reading about the other tribes and am curious about how they are all doing. Are they getting closer than mine is? Is my tribe on the right track?

Marie

I’m getting along really well with Kathleen, she is definitely my number one right now and I’d love to work with her!

Flint

The first night has gone better than I had expected. As a somewhat introvert I was nervous about getting to know my tribe but the other players made it easy. Felix and I hit it off really quick, I would consider him my closest ally thus far. Joey and Cassie both talked about being pro-pineapple pizza so that may blossom into an alliance down the road as well. Suzy and Charlie have been quiet so I can see them being an early target if we lose immunity.

Apollo

"https://i.makeagif.com/media/3-26-2018/myXMdc.gif

I feel like signing up for this game was a bad idea for my mental health, but I love Jay more than I love myself so who cares?

First impressions? Thomas suggests me as leader, and I'm shook. I wish I didn't have the name of a Greek God, why couldn't I be ""Steven Smith"" lol. Anyways I got the idol clue and shared it with the whole tribe since I don't need a giant target on my back to start with. Hopefully I can use this leader position to start a team that can work cohesively for the beginning of this game. Ope! The challenge has been posted. I've gotta run! Hopefully I won't be first boot!"

Lysandre

So the tribe has been formed!! The leader is Marie and thats cool! I was then put into a potential alliance chat with me, Marie, and Kathleen! Lets see how this goes! I also chose to participate in the shells challenge and its going great so far, except for the fact that all the numbers are confusing me. Is there a thing for dyslexia but with numbers?? Also I love Jay wtf.

Apollo

I can't believe you put me on the same tribe as Karen again, and I don't know why the hell she thinks Boris is a funny name, but the cat icon, has me living. I didn't know it was her since she wasn't on at the beginning but when she started talking and dragging the midwest I couldn't help but confirm my suspicions. She reeks of minions. Also pretty sure the new zealand person is just Stephen, bless his Soul. As for the rest idk them but being put in the leader position really helped i suppose. Thomas and Zest seem to respect me and Brianna and I are working on the flash game so hopefully we can bond over that. I would love for us to win immunity the first round but at this rate, If Bradley doesn't come on at all tomorrow, we might not even need to go to tribal, it just might be med evac, which would come in handy if we lose, but be a shot in the foot if we win. A little part of me was hoping for some ungodly reason Camilla would come back, but if she is, its not on my tribe :'). I'm imagining that Sam is somewhere but not on my tribe. I can't wait to get on with this game and to see how well I can do with a fresh start.

Gigi

I'm pretty happy with my tribe! Everyone seems kind and levelheaded. I'm kind of worried that I missed out on bonding with them though, since I wasn't around for the first meeting!

Kathleen

"I seem to have formed bonds with a couple of tribe members pretty quickly, I might be wrong but it seems like most of my tribe hasn’t really started playing the game yet so it’s good to get a one up just in case. Our leader, Marie, was someone I suggested because we’d been talking and I thought it would be good to have someone that was starting to trust me as leader.

Also this puzzle is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I have like 500 mental illnesses so that’s saying something."

Lysandre

OK SO LYSANDRE IS DOING EVERYTHING TIM COULDN'T. Their goal in the challenge is to get atleast 101 bundles but a bitch is getting tired. Also queen Jay posted her idol search which I thought was cute! I like how it works but my problem with it is that the idol can be found so fast.  It can be found in say... under an hour on your first prompt submission... LIKE HOW I DID. I have an idol yall!!! My first ever Idol!!!! I am so proud of Lysandre, they are doing amazing.

Lysandre

Having the idol feels a little surreal. I am aware that I have it but it is sooooo early in the game that it feels like a joke. I am going to tell no one about the idol moving forward in the game and I'm going to try and save it for no one but me.

Felix

Look who found an idol on their first hunt! I now have a safety net to fall back on just in case any of these people want to be snakes in the grass! We love me being an icon!

Felix

Me not reading the rules? It's more likely than you think. So now I just got to hope that everyone else is able to pull through in this challenge. God this sucks. At least if I am the worst on my team then I can use my idol to protect me. But that would be a waste of an idol so early in the game.

Boris

"HELLO. so the game just started yesterday and honestly?? I'm having so much fun.

playing as a different identity lets me separate myself from the game and play in a way I typically wouldn't. I'm already playing much more socially than I would in a typical game. My tribe sees pretty good! Everyone showed up at least, we're not the MOST active but everyone seems so nice, it'll be pretty easy to get along with everyone

totally off subject but this IDOL HUNT? WHEW. literally iconic. It's so fun to explore the different paths and see what happens. it took me forever to reach an outcome (and it was a negative one, at that), but I just had fun doing it anyway.

I volunteered to do the endurance portion of immunity, and I'm lowkey kinda regretting it. Like, I don't have anything else to do, but I just barely have the motivation to sit and type for hours on end. Oh well, I feel safe enough that even if we don't win I should be safe! hopefully!!"

Joey

"it's been a hot second since i've played one of these things and whew i forgot how exhausting it is getting to know people! i think everyone's in a weird spot because we're trying to remain hidden so we can't release real information about ourselves, so all the conversations i've had have mostly been about food. i've told two people i'm a fan of pineapple on pizza, which is a total lie, but whatever it takes  to make connections right?

i put my name out there for the leader role, but quickly gave it up to cassie. i think people are going to gravitate towards her, and i wanted to get in her good graces in case she is the key decision maker here. i feel like a lot of these people don't work as much as i do, which might put me at a disadvantage in the social portion, but what more can i really do?

i volunteered for the flash game because that seemed like the least annoying/time consuming section of the bunch, and on my fourth try i had a really lucky run and got a pretty decent score that i haven't gotten close to since. i think my strategy is going to be to pretend i'm struggling with the challenge, and at the last minute pretend i got my good score to show how hard i worked and how i ~persevered~ or whatever."

Felix

13 votes? Mama you gotta know more people than that

Felix

We're safe! I'm so shook that even though I submitted by accident XD

Marie

Gigi didn’t help with the challenge at all! Like wth pitch in? Tribal tonight should be an easy vote

Cassie

I feel pretty confident about how I did in the challenge for my tribe. We didn't come first, but I believed in my team that we'd still be safe and we were. We can only improve from here to overtake our competition and I still believe in my tribe. Go Tuai!

Thomas

Early days, everyone seems really nice so far, think I have gotten a good team!

Charlie

Honestly nothing particularly juicy atm, everyone is really nice and we are just getting to know each other. Theres a few people I'm vibing with more then others however...maybe a potential alliance in the future?

David Penn

Everyone seems way to chill and i'm waiting for the game to start getting heated. Also our tribe leader kinda dipped and everyones leader.

Brianna

Well. Sumi kind of...demolished that challenge. And I was starting to think we weren’t doing enough lol. It’s nice to see the first challenge results and put everything in perspective for the whole game. Not really any new updates. Bradley appeared for the first time today. Then shortly disappeared soon after. A missing person alert has gone out and he will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Zest

Wow! I am so emotional about our first win. I got really anxious about the puzzle and was worried I’d let my tribe down. Luckily, we all were really supportive of one another. Everyone has a really positive attitude and I am happy with Apollo's leadership. In terms of getting to know people, it is still really early. I have spoken to everyone on my team individually except Bradley.

Lysandre

OK so we lost the motherfucking challenge. I was the only person on my tribe to actually win their category. One of my "allies" Kathleen FLOPPED in the challenge. Luckily Gigi literally does not exist in this plane of existence. Maybe she got snapped by Thanos and she'll come back in 5 years... who knows?? What I do know is that I'm voting for her to go!! Also David approached me with the idea of voting Kathleen. I tried to play it off as if I'm stuck in between voting those two and I hope he bought it but Im obvi not gonna do Kathleen rn because she communicates with me. But we LOVE being the first tribe to go to TRIballlll.

Suzy witters

Im getting on with Felix a bit, and Charlie, I like charlie more though and can see myself working with him throughout the game

Marie

Lowkey can’t believe David actually called Kathleen out in the public chat, not a good move buddy. Let’s just say, he’s lucky that we want to get rid of Gigi or else Kathleen might have made the vote him!

Kathleen

I did HORRIBLY at the challenge and it seems that David was coming after me before some of my alliance members talked him down. We’re going for Gigi tonight so we only have people left that will actually try in challenges, but if we end up at tribal again I might just have to try and convince my alliance members to go for David to save myself.

Boris

"my tribe? Did that. We are a tribe of WINNERS. We dominated the first challenge!

But in less fortunate news, my dumbass needs to stop jumping into pits and volcanoes in the idol hunt. Search 1, I jumped in a lot and everyone was notified of my search. Search 2, I jumped across a volcano and now I can't participate in the next immunity. Which is an endurance! Which im really good at!! And the tribe knows I can do it because I did endurance last round!!!

So now I'm in a position where I kinda have to sit out (luckily our tribe needs to sit someone out anyway) BUT I'm stuck between coming forward and telling the truth, that I fucked up while searching, or make up some excuse for them to let me sit out anyway.

I think the former is smarter. Surely everyone else is searching too, and and maybe they'll respect my honest??? But if not, it could be my downfall. If they know Im searching every day they might be more inclined to vote me off before i find anything, since now they know I have nothing. "

Boris

Wtf why am I stressed, i don't even have to go to tribal

Bryan

So. The next immunity comp is an endurance challenge. And we have boris saying he won’t be able to be here for it because of a family thing. Apollo works til 12. Bradley probably won’t be here because of his disappearing trick. And I work til 10. I’ll hopefully still be able to participate because it’s not constant...but. We are already down three people and the comp hasn’t even started yet oh lord please help us.

Flint

The first Immunity Challenge was tougher then I had expected! I was assigned the seashell necklace making portion which sounded fairly easy but once I got going it was easy to get tripped up in the numbering. Once the results were announced I was glad to see our tribe got second place because I was one of the weaker ones in the challenge performance. Time to step it up!

Bradley

I need to really step up my social game since we won immunity. So its going to be a mess but i want to try and make some connections.

Gigi

Not sure if I'm paranoid or not, but I am idol hunting right now! And got a disadvantage instead. Just my luck!

Raul

Things are weird especially with the whole alias thing but ya know we march on the tribe is kinda quiet so we'll see I haven't seen a target emerge but it'll probably me to be honest

[ofphcenixes]

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

[tumblunni]

Oh man im fuckin sobbing i met this nice grandma on the bus and we talked for a whole hour and she's adopted this elderly dog that her daughtercs friend couldnt take care of cos of the financial crunch following brexit and she's talking about how her daughter never has any time to spend with her kids cos shes working AND on benefits AND working another job just to keep the kids in school and theyre trying to cancel free school meals and its like the only hot meal the kids can even get each day

I didnt even ask the lady's name oh man thank you for talking with me and i hope someday the country gets better. I hope someday i have the power to help all these people instead of us all just talking together about how we're all starving. Damn i would have given up on getting this stupid videogame and just given her the 40 quid right there and then but i dont have it in cash and we were getting out at different stops so i couldnt get it out at an atm. And she said dont do that and aaa she said the price of ham was going up at the local shop so she had to take the bus out to buy the naff cheap equivelant at poundland cos her elderly dog needs to take pills for his seizures and she needs to wrap them in ham so he can swallow them. And she's telling me all this and she wont let me give her money!!

And god the dog was so sweet and well trained and so old and so small and HIS NAME WAS DOUGIE and i didnt even ask the lady's name

I just hope chatting with me touched her heart as much as she touched mine, and i hope she gets all the lucky karma in the world for talking to a lonely old mentally ill mess of a 20-something like me!

I wont forget you, mystery lady of the stylish hair and small doggo!!

Oh and actually there was good news regarding the last mystery grandma who chatted with me! The government has finally agreed to do litter cleanup on the pathway she takes to the shops each day. And well, the one i take too which is how we met, but im more concerned about her having a happy trip than i am about myself. She has a wheelchair so the litter and potholes werent just ruining a place she loved but also making her journey harder to navigate. I hope she never got hurt because of that stuff! And i hope she comes down this way to the shops soon and sees the great work they did today! I ran up to the litter collection guy and was like HOLY SHIT THANK YOU SO MUCH and i told him about all the elderly people and families around here that will really appreciate what he's done. Its just a shame i was the only local who was out and about early enough to meet him, im sure he would have been buried in thank yous if everyone else was there!

So i dunno lol maybe somehow me trying damn hard at my life and talking to my therapist about the litter issue and the nice grandma somehow summoned the good luck to get it all fixed, even if i couldnt afford to fix the place myself. And maybe talking to you guys and spreading the word about this other grandma's struggle will bring her the luck she needs too! I need to talk to more grandmas and shoulder their burden!! I need to work on my social anxiety just so i can become a comforting person to talk to and lift their spirits a llittle bit! This is my new life goal!!

[hoopyfrood]

so my review for disenchanted is... it's fun. it doesn't go anywhere amazing, but there's some fun jokes and some fun characters. its an enjoyable watch with some characters that keep you watching, though i kept wanting them to wring more out of each episode, there is so much potential for a lot of the side characters.

as for characters, most characters aren't really fleshed out, so i didn't feel much connection to most of them, i only really care about luci tbh and bunty is sweet. i'm interested to see what happens with queen oona but seeing as most of her appearances have been small jokes or short appearances, idk, i'm not holding out for much development for her.

bean is good, in theory, though there's not much to her. they have a stereotype of what a non feminine woman is and keep falling back on it, falling back on her being drunk or high somewhere. we don't learn about her childhood, her education, her hobbies, her aspirations. her storylines revolve around her dad or elfo, mostly, under the guise of being about her journey.

some side characters become more interesting, like the kings advisor, odval, although i wish the secret society had been more than just a quick joke. others remain flat and uninteresting, clearly plot devices, not even offering jokes that are that good. i liked getting to learn more about bunty, and the king has some funny moments, but a lot of characters are forgettable. luci is a great break from the repetition or obvious storylines, he's unpredictable and chaotic and kept me watching. he's two steps away from being a fourth wall breaking character, narrating the events in his own way. love eric andres dry tone, luci is a great character i'd love to learn more about.

the pacing of the episodes is a bit random, there's no real connection between most of them and they don't always flow well, sometimes it felt like people's opinions and decisions changed randomly just to keep the plot going. the last episode repeated the same scene several times. the reccuring plot involving luci didn't really grip me and didn't go anywhere really, and has now been overshadowed by the plot of the last episode. i am interested to see where that goes, but i do wonder if the people who sent luci will get a moment to shine and be relevant again.

people keep comparing it to futurama, to the simpsons, but i don't think that gets us anywhere. it's made in a different era, set in a different era, made in different circumstances than for tv viewing. the voice acting is great, it's fun hearing familiar voices, and luci is reminiscent of benders carelessness (also reminds me of paul from the film paul which is a fave of mine), but it's a very different story. there are some weird vague mentions to things like feminism and gender spectrums but they fall flat, i felt unsure if they were being played as a joke or a reference and what the point of them was. there's also that random mention to cultural appropriation, speaking of which, the only two characters of colour are side characters, one completely just a plot device, with ambiguous race and not much depth. seriously guys? you put in elves and gnomes and lizard people but racial diversity was just too hard? put down the d&d handbooks and start being creative.

okay, i'll mention elfo, but briefly. he's annoying. i'm saying it, everyone else seems to be saying it, but what the fuck. it's not his obliviousness and naivety that's annoying, that could've been used well, but it's his crush on bean. i'm not invested, i don't care, it's not interesting. i really don't feel bad for this lil guy fancying a woman out of his league. they tried to give us a different female hero but still went with the 'poor nice guy who she ignores' trope? she deserves what leela and lisa didn't get with the guys chasing after them: the freedom to say no and have it stop. it added nothing to the plot, it became his whole character arc instead of learning to be bad and explore a new place. i'm glad nobody else seems to like him or the idea of him and bean ending up together. seriously, it's so overused, esp in groenings works. i just didn't have the patience to care about him any more as soon as i saw where it was going. bean escaped his advances, but barely, and suddenly she really cared about him despite being ambivalent earlier. the time progression didn't seem real enough to amount to that much character development, the time passage wasn't even clear, it just felt like ten episodes and suddenly luci and bean really cared about elfo all of a sudden. can't relate.

ok, elfo out of the way, what did i enjoy? the scenery, the banging theme song, the good one liners, every character john dimaggio voiced, that one time luci got captured that was quite fun to watch, the whole talking cat thing, uhh, some other stuff. seriously, you can enjoy watching it and not feel too bored, it's just the repetitive tropes that get a bit dull. i kept watching for the potential, a lot of the time. hoping for things to go farther than they did. the earlier eps are fun, the later ones i felt had odd pace and sudden character development/change and a lot of repeated content.

in the second series i want a lot more from these characters. they tried to fit in like three plot twists when most people would have preferred more character exploration, more believable development between bean, elfo and luci as friends. a lot of the episodes were bean and friends get drunk, fuck stuff up, go back to see the king. i don't want more of that in s2. i expected more depth to the plot seeing as multiple writers were involved in gravity falls, but it's ok if it's just fun too, but decide which you're going for because atm i'm not sure how seriously to take the twists or not.

i'd love to see more of hell, learn more about luci. i loved the mention of him having a 9 to 5 job in hell, there's so much that could be explored there, and robot hell was a blast in futurama. seriously, bring back dan as the dancing devil, that'd be fun. i'd have rathered luci having odd jobs from the devil than having two random people apparently controlling him but doing absolutely nothing at the same time. in s2, recycle the tired tropes into something new. throw out the 'old hooker' trope and put in more three dimensional women. get rid of the 'strong female character' idea you have in your heads and actually write a real female character. please, god, get more female writers, i can tell when a woman is written by a man and it's boring. i feel they need to let shion takeuchi have more involvement because i bet she'd do a better job with a lot of these elements but alas she's literally one of only three women on the team with any major involvement, and it shows. it's a show centred around a female character yet it's mostly all decided by men. it's 8 men to 3 women as far as i can tell. and only one person of colour, afaik. it really shows. i'm not surprised, but more people should be pissed off about this. ridiculous.

don't do anything with elfo he's fine where he is just leave him there. bring back tess the giant i want to know more about her. please let oona and odval have a friendship where they bitch about the king and have medieval scrabble nights or something. let literally any women interact with each other without hating each other or talking about men. give bean a girlfriend. don't give pendergast any more screen time people are obsessing over him for some reason and he doesn't deserve that. let the queens be friends or something. let them date. too many women hate each other in tv i'm tired. ramp up the goddamn puns i know u have more stored somewhere and the scenes of shop names etc are fun. have bean learn to drive a horse and cart or get a job she's good at or learn a new skill or make a female friend or something more than having her get drunk and fight her way out of a situation with no real consequences. ok i'm done.

[thepenisparker]

obscure ◍ peter parker x reader

description:

“do i even matter to you anymore? just answer me that.”

“…you don’t.”

pairing:

MCU!PETER PARKER/SPIDERMAN X READER

read it on wattpad!

table of contents:

one.               two.            three.         four.         five.            six.            tbc

three.

Peter and (Y/N) started walking from school talking mostly small talk. What classes they were taking, found out they both had wood shop and chem lab together.

"So why'd you switch to Midtown Tech?" Peter asked, walking down the steps to the subway.

"My Dad has always wanted me to follow in his footsteps. So when he got a job in Queens we picked up everything and came out here, and he put me at Midtown Tech so I can focus on my engineering skills." (Y/N) shared while using her metro card.

"And you don't want to?" Peter asked, rubbing his arm. The more time he spent with her the more attractive the girl next to him got. He continuously was getting overwhelmed by how much prettier she was getting to him.

"No.. I don't know. I mean, I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I like photos and art and reading but I don't know what any of that can be as a solid career." (Y/N) said, "I just want to find something I'm really passionate about. And I haven't found that yet. But I'm just a big believer in you shouldn't do things you aren't passionate about."

"That's a good mindset." Peter said. Smiling at his clammy hands.

"What about you?" (Y/N) turned, leaning against a streetlight.

"What about me?" Peter asked.

"Do you know what you want to do?" (Y/N) pressed.

"Uh, I think so. I mean I actually have the, uh," Peter fumbled.

"The Stark internship, yeah. That's really cool. But what do you want to do for him?" She asked. The subway came screeching just then flying Peters hair into a frenzy and (Y/N) found it very hard to keep from vomiting on him because of how attractive it was.

"Um, well. I, uh, just stay at Mr. Stark's side really like you know watching how he creates the technology for his suits and the other suits and tech for the Avengers." Peter explained. Boarding the subway quickly.

"That's really awesome! See, that's something to be passionate about. I was never really into superheroes growing up, but seeing the Avengers do what they do, that's amazing." (Y/N) sighed, "I would die if I could suddenly gain superpowers."

"Tell me about it." Peter kept a smug grin on his face, (Y/N) thought he may be making fun of her. She hit him playfully on the arm.

"Don't give me that face! Don't act like you never wanted to be a superhero." (Y/N) laughed, but also noting that when she hit him he had very toned biceps. It's like he's asking for her to have a crush on him.

"Of course! What little kid wouldn't?" Peter said and she hit him again, "What was that one for?"

"For telling me my dreams are childish." (Y/N) crossed her arms, "I could be like Black Widow if I wanted to."

"I have no doubt." Peter smiled. While Peter was looking down, (Y/N) took the opportunity to look at his profile, take the boy's face in a little bit.

"So, you said you live with your aunt, where do you guys live?" (Y/N) asked, not giving up on his conversation.

"Uh, like in an apartment off of 23rd street?" Peter said.

"Oh really? That's like 2 blocks away from me." (Y/N) said.

"No way! 21 or 25?" Peter asked.

"21st Street, like right across from Delmar Sandwiches and next to that Chase ATM?" (Y/N) said.

"Yeah, I know exactly where that is. I was actually going to Delmar's right after this." Peter straightened his backpack, getting ready to get off the train, "I go every day after school."

"Me too, I mean now, my mom just started working for him at nights as his bookkeeper." (Y/N) said.

"He's the best." Peter laughed, getting off the subway (Y/N) behind him. Suddenly Peter started moving a lot faster, "Think he has a crush on my Aunt though."

"Peter, I've seen one photo of your Aunt and I have a crush on her." (Y/N) laughed, "I can't really blame him."

"Stop!" Peter whined, running down the steps and out to the street. Mr. Delmar's was a block away.

"I can't help it, she just seems like such a nice lady." (Y/N) put her hands up.

"Well get in line behind everyone else in Queens, okay." Peter picked up the pace in his steps.

"I'll gladly wait for that woman." (Y/N) played around. Peter laughed, rolling his eyes.

"I think she would like you," Peter said, surprising himself that he said it out loud.

"Thank you. I hope I can meet her soon." (Y/N) said, Peter wondered how she stayed so calm. But realizing it was probably because he was alone in his affections.

Earlier that day, after lunch, Ned even elbowed Peter about how cute (Y/N) was. Then he said he hadn't really noticed. Ned only rolled his eyes and said she may be a good homecoming date. But Peter was way too scared to do something like ask a girl to homecoming.

"Yeah definitely." Peter said, "Ok, favorite Delmar sandwich order?"

"Number 5, easily. I haven't tried everything but that's been my favorite so far." (Y/N) shrugged, Peter motioned to his head and then a fist pump out.

"Yes! Yes! Now you have to meet Aunt May, she's been trying to tell me the Number 9 is better for years." Peter said.

"Ew, doesn't that one have way too many onions and a weird bread?" (Y/N) said, making an ick face.

"Yes, exactly. Eck." Peter said, (Y/N) repeated the noise. He noticed that it was much easier to talk to her than any other girl he had tried to talk to. He always thought he had a very specific type of girl he liked, like Liz Allan, but maybe he was wrong.

They continued to joke and talk about things that make them go "eck." And every time they would make the noise louder. So much so that a stranger told Peter to shut up. The two just laughed harder because of it. They ran across the street with their backpacks to finally make it to Delmar's.

"Hey, what's up?" Peter said to the guy outside, Jaime.

"Hey, man." Jaime responded, Peter smiled. They both walked in.

"What's up, Mr. Delmar?" Peter said, walking in. (Y/N) stayed behind a bit but close enough to Peter that it was obvious they came together.

"Hey, Mr. Parker." Mr. Delmar smiled, leaning against his counter,

"Number 5, right?" Kalen in the back said.

"Yeah, with pickles and could you smush it down real flat? Thanks." Peter said his routine order.

"You got it, boss. For both of you?" Kalen added, looking at the girl amused with the Murph the cat.

"Number 5, too but I don't need mine smushed down." (Y/N) said.

"Ms. (Y/L/N)! Does your mother know you're hanging out with this hoodrat? I mean I know you're desperate for friends but c'mon." Mr. Delmar joked.

"Yeah, between you and me I don't know about this one." (Y/N) played along.

"I'm seeing you tonight for doing your homework in here, right? I better see some work done not any oggling about this idiot." Mr. Delmar waved his hand. (Y/N) felt the heat rise to her face, as much as she tried to play it cool her body wouldn't let her.

"Me? Never! Of course, I'll be in here." (Y/N) smiled awkwardly and kept her face toward the cat. Peter saw how red her face got, he was staring at her really. His insides starting doing backflips.

"How's your aunt?" Mr. Delmar pulled Peter's attention away.

"Yeah, she's all right." Peter grabbed some gummy candies off the shelf and put them on the counter.

"Ella es una mujer italiana muy caliente." Mr. Delmar laughed to his co-worker. (Y/N) knew what that meant, and aparently so did Peter.

"Como esta tu hija, eh?" Peter crossed his arms and got an extremely cocky grin on his face that only mad (Y/N) more flustered than to begin with. She laughed. He was so cool, and it was like he didn't even try.

"10 dollars." Mr. Delmar frowned. Peter's mouth dropped.

"It's 5 dollars!" Peter pointed to the menu.

"For that comment 10 dollars, you're paying for (Y/N)." Mr. Delmar demanded.

"C'mon I'm joking, I'm joking." Peter pulled out his wallet, "Lucky, I was going to pay for (Y/N) anyway."

Peter hands him the $10, then reaches behind (Y/N) to pet Murph.

"What's up, Murph?" Peter said, then became suddenly very aware of how close he was to (Y/N) and even though she had no problem with this it was like his insides exploded and he backed off.

"So, how's school?" Mr. Delmar asked.

"It's boring, got better things to do." Peter said packing his stuff in his backpack.

"Stay in school, kids. Otherwise you're gunna end up like me." Mr. Delmar motioned to his sandwich shop.

"This is great, I don't know what you're talking about?" (Y/N) hushed him, grabbing her own sandwich, the one that looked more inflated than Peter's.

"Best sandwiches in Queens." Mr. Delmar added on their way out.

"Alright, well uh," Peter looked around when they got to the crosswalk, "I've got to run, I have a lot of homework tonight."

"Yeah, yeah, me too." (Y/N) said, looking at her doorstep to her apartment building.

"But, uh, I'm free later. I was thinking if you're going to be at Mr. Delmars doing homework I could maybe come help you out? Not that you need it, I just-" Peter started rambling.

"I could use all the help possible. I'm gunna be here from like 6 til my mom leaves for the night which will be around 10. So anytime in there, I'd love for you to come by." (Y/N) said.

"Cool, uh yeah." Peter said, stepping out into the street, "I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah, sounds good!" (Y/N) started turning around when she heard a honk and turned back. Peter had almost gotten hit by a car. She laughed to herself, he wasn't like everyone else.

what do you guys think? please tell me by liking, reblogging or messaging me here! please dear god i’m very lonely.

happy reading!

NEXT PART..

[namelessarcher]

hey guys! Long time no see, I've been a little busy recently but I hope both mods are doing great! How has your day/week been? Anything you want to rant or gush about? Remember to treat yourself - snacks, breaks, experiences, whatever you might want to do or buy. Also, I loved that Assasin of Shinjuku soulmate AU, I am such a sucker for those and whenever some amazing person requests them, I'm just blown away and so grateful, so thank you to the mods and the fandom! - Anon Sunshine

It’s okay if you’re busy!! Mod May’s been obsessed with FFXIV, she’s trying to get me to play, but my schedule doesn’t quite allow it atm. Ahahahaha. 

I absolutely adore writing soulmate au’s, just not like 15 of them at once. BUT REGARDLESS, I had a lot of fun writing them and I’m glad you guys are enjoying them!!! 

I hope everyone else has been having a better week than the roller coaster known as mine. LMAO. 

My week has been both horrible yet fantastic. I’m going to put it below the cut because honestly not sure if you guys want to see me ranting. 

Horrible:

The company in charge of my apartment area has merged my account with someone else’s, making it hard for me to be able to pay rent (I basically can’t access my account and the IT people are apparently in the process of working on it, but I don’t really have faith in them at this point since I’ve had this problem since February and they haven’t fixed it despite me coming in almost every week).Tbh this is the one thing that has made my week absolutely stressful because not being able to pay for rent stressed me out so much. It’s not as though I don’t have the money for it, that’s not my situation. But it’s the fact that I can’t pay due to the system malfunctioning AND they were still going to charge me a late fee even though it isn’t my fault. And well- I had 3 exams this week and even though I studied for all of them, I don’t feel like I did well on 2 of the 3...

The Good Things!!!

I took Graduation pictures at Disneyland on Wednesday!!! It was my first time wearing make-up AND doing my hair for an amusement park - and to every one of my followers that are one of those people who manage to do it, I give you guys so many props. Like, saluting you, from here where I am. I don’t know how you guys manage to do it, but I give you guys major props. 

I somehow managed to keep my face and hair presentable enough for photoshoots even after going on rides, but gods - you guys are amazing.

But yeah! Going to Disney definitely lightened up my mood and distracted me from the system failure. o:

But yeah, that’s all from me! I hope you’ve been doing well, Anon Sunshine. Seeing you check in on me always makes my day. You’re a blessing, I hope you know that.

[recording-this-journey]

~Reconnecting with myself and the fun hard truths I'm facing because coming out is hard~

So now people actually follow me these feel more awkward to write, but at the end of the day, this is still my digital diary and the thing I'm going to eventually look back on and be like 'aw fuck, that was cool/awkward' and so it's staying exactly the same; awkward and completely honest with myself.

I had a full of depressive meltdown. Like can't handle anything depressive meltdown. I'm still in it, but I'm having an okay period atm. Where I'm feeling okay, but chances are I will wake up tomorrow depressed af.

With this meltdown, I have been rethinking my whole life and having an identity crisis.

Because for the last 15 years, I've been playing a role for everyone else. I haven't been single for 5 years. I haven't had longer than 6-7mnths of being single since I was probably 14/15 and I'm 21.

I don't know who I am outside of a relationship. I don't know myself. I have always been a lot of whatever my partner wants of me and so I haven't ever had to form my own identity outside of who I naturally am.

My heritage, my family, my disabilities, my gender identity, my sexuality, all these things, they're not choices. They're forced upon me and I can choose how I react and portray them and how open I am… but that doesn't mean they're all of me. They're just all I've had that are stable and mine for so long.

So now; I can actually become someone. Become a man with a personality, style, interests… that aren't just an act to 'fit in' better.

That don't end up annoying me because I'm overwhelmed by pretending to be someone I'm not.

I'm now going to experience life as a new man and get to choose who I am and how I live. And I'm excited. And terrified.

I have no idea where to even start.

But I will.

Tomorrow. It's 2am and I'm finally ready for sleep.

And future me; I hope you're happy and proud when you find yourself. We'll probably always look back on certain times with 'Oh god I was so stupid.' feelings... but I hope things move into a period where we don't feel that anymore now.

[transbcyfriend]

Every Question >:3

well Shit ig now bc i’m Required By Law to answer these i gotta

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

yes – and god am i grateful.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

i mean i’m 18 so uhhhhhhhhh yeah

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

…yesterday? the day before?

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i do it all the time at work so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

i wouldn’t say mad.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

too many to count!

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

a legend of zelda hoodie and a wild patterned set of lounge pants from pink republic. i haven’t changed in several days i’m uh Sick

8. How often do you listen to music?

if i don’t do it every single day it’s scientifically proven i’ll shrivel up and die

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans. jeans definitely.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

it did at the time, and not for the better. fuck that shit

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

mmMMMMMmMMM depends on the situation?? if i’m like clocked in at work, if i’m somewhere i actively enjoy, or on The Web™, i’m social, but otherwise i don’t rlly interact with ppl hnfngnf

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

not yet.

13. What about ‘R’?

nope!

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

can i get a FUCK NO

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

depends on the person. someone i’m close to and like? yes. someone who i’m not close to and dislike? nah.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

nope.

17. When was the last time you cried?

mmmmMMMMMM a few days ago? few days ago.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yes.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

HMMMM y’know i don’t think i would, mine are like ?? hazel and ppl make comments abt them being diff colors n shit in certain lights sometimes and i Like That so

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

in fact, yes! i would uh Die For Him

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

i’m sick and can’t breathe

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

YOU KNOW I BE ON THAT GAY SHIT !!!!!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

nope

24. What are you sitting on right now?

a wooden chair

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

yep!

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

oh yeah. god yeah.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

@lazybones25 

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no, not rlly. last time i got sick was … sophmore year of hs? junior year? i don’t remember.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

it was a gift from my buddy bri

30. Does anyone hate you?

there’s at least one i can think of off the top of my head, soooooo yeah

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

noooo, me? drink? me, a consumer of alcohol. ur pullin’ my leg, i don’t drink

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

i’m just Meh on it bc most movies nowadays are so played out and predictable that they’re just not scary to me

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

kinda, yeah. it’s an on/off want, still deciding.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

just one? fuck. any of the years between being 13-16.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

actually i did! i had a dream i lost my job bc one of my managers was in a bad mood and was basically like “well u should’ve thought more abt your career than ur education, ur fired since u wanna go 2 college, can’t change ur hours”

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

few hours ago.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

mmmm … unlikely.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

yep.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

i’d hope so! don’t gotta be, but it’d be cute and i’d Like That

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

it was ok – i spiraled into being sick, but it was ok

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

yeah

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

unlikely.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yep.

44. What’s the best part about school?

mmm mM MM prolly just making friends w/ ppl in ur classes. that, and just how chill the professors are. 

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

fun fact – i don’t have a facebook.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

fuck yeah my guy

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

way too often

48. Were you single over the last summer?

nope.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

absolutely not and god i’m rlly happy abt that

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

looking when college classes start again but i Don’t Wanna

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

i’d be lying to ur face if i said yes

52. Are you nice to everyone?

i try to be – some ppl tho, i just. can’t. there’s reasonable salt.

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yep!

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

i’ve done it before, i don’t see why not.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

when the situation calls for it, i’d like to think so

56. Do you think you like someone?

mhmm

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

…… y’know i don’t think i have! that’s surprising i’ve kissed a lotta ppl

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

tbh p much the only ppl i tend to never rlly make friends with are cis guys. there’s rare exceptions, but the vast majority of my buddies are either cis girls or trans/nonbinary/etc.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

yep – a few of them. not many, but a few.

60. Do you hate anyone?

i wouldn’t say hate, but there’s a couple of ppl i severely dislike.

61. How’s your heart?

atm? better. better than usual, i’m rlly glad abt that

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

anytime from being 12-17

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

yeah.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

i ain’t gonna say names buuuuuuut Someone I Know

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

they’re painted a dark wine red actually, i uh got bored

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

best decision of my life, if anything

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

from my own Personal Experience, kinda? i mean every person i’ve been w/ kinda likes it bc it’s like, i’m letting my walls down and letting them in, so i mean ig

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

thankfully no!

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

@lazybones25

70. How do you look right now?

surprisingly decent for feeling icky

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

just two – but i’m content w/ that.

72. Can you commit to one person?

under the right circumstances, ya – otherwise i gotta dip

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

my roommate @stasiroowho

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

can i get a Hell Yeah and It Hurts

75. Did you wake up cranky?

no, i just woke up wanting attention and feeling Blah

76. Are you a jealous person?

hhMHMhmMMHMHM depends ?? ? ? if we’re talking from a relationship perspective, like i don’t give a shit if the other person wants to like, make a shitton of buddies and like actually Have A Life, that’s good, but when it comes to like, romance specifically? then i’m just. m i n e

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

very rarely, but some are and god is it so fucking satisfying in every aspect

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

yeah.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

can i get a HOOYAHHHH

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

go to the apartment and uh Feed Cats

81. Last person you cried in front of?

do i rlly gotta @ my homeboi ash a 3rd time

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

in a good way or a bad way?

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

yeee – in a good way tho

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably either just chillin’ watching netflix and eating chips/popcorn, or gettin’ heated while also shotgunning that good good

85. Are you over your past?

CAN I GET A FUCK NO

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

yeah

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

just two! and two’s a good number, i’m happy w/ that.

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

i’d immediately murder him on the spot. i’d still take the gifts off his corpse tho bc hey Free Shit

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

ya – i do trust that one, he made me breakfast one time so i wouldn’t burn my own house down, he a tru homie

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

uuuhhhhhhh-huh

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

highly likely

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

i used to! he was the Popular Kid™ back in high school, who fuckin’ knows where he’s at now

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

when i was like 4, yeah, we were each other’s childhood crush so uh shrugs

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

nope! things were getting heavy, but no relationship yet.

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

absolutely.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

hmmmmmmmmaybe

97. Who do you have texts from?

in general? my mom, ash, 3 coworkers, one of my managers, my one tru buddy from the womb @infinitelycastiel, and my buddy lynette.

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

i mean ?? i’d b upset, i’d b depressed, i’d b a lil torn up abt it, but i ain’t gonna stop whatever happens from happening. not my choice to

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

ya – not too much older, but ya

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

AAAAAAAALL BY MY, SEEEEEEEEEE-EEEE-EEEEEEEEELF

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

fun fact: no

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yEP

[incoherentlynonexistent-blog]

You’ll see me dead

Before I’m able to move on or even forgive anyone. You’ll be at my funeral before you ever get the chance to gain my forgiveness. You’ll see me dead before I even attempt to be with someone else. You left me for dead pretty much. I’ve never in my life have a fucking ever have been and ever will have a pain like this. This is what’s going to kill me or cause me to take my own life.

It’s this same situation that’s been going on in my head for the past three years. I’ll be dead before I will ever have the ability to recover from such heartless and deceitful actions.

The way I feel atm. I feel like shit.

There’s no such thing as getting better for me. I give up trying to get better. I relapsed again. I don’t fucking care anymore.

I’ll have overdosed I’m sure before you were to reconsider your life without me. Either way you look.....it’s to late for me to be saved.....

I’m pretty much dead already.....

Whether you like it or not

Whether you care or whether you come back into my life or not

There’s no hope

Thanks to you I’m dead inside

I have no will to live

It’s thanks to you that I’ll be dead before you realize the true realizations behind what your actions caused....

Thanks to you already that I hate myself and my life

Thanks to you I feel so beneath you and actually jealous of the life you live

You have it better than I do

You’re not afraid to be open about it

You keep me out

Because god forbid you lose the things you screwed me over for anyway....

You never cared about me

You never wanted me

You don’t even care now about what you’ve done

You wouldn’t care even if I had a gun in my mouth standing in front of you

You don’t have to even post anything

Your actions basically tell me to go ahead and do it

Go ahead and take my life

It’d be doing the only thing you’ve yet to do

And that’s actually take my life physically

Which in a way you did

You took my mental and emotional stability

You’re ok with me being this way

You’re not here

If you think I’ll answer through anon

You have another thing coming

I’m worth more than that

But unfortunately I’m not in your eyes. I’ve never been worth that much to you. I’m not even worth the time it takes to shoot a message or call to see how I’m doing. I’m quite sure I’ll be dead before you even have that urge to....nice to know what this has all come down to....

You’re living life......

I’m miserable and home alone.....

You’ll see me dead before you even have the decency to finally show your face....

Next time you’ll see mine

It’ll be in a casket

Because you never could be here or even stick around

You’ll see me dead before you’re to ever see me alive again....

I guess this is goodbye then.....

This is your fault.....

I can’t help but blame you

I was happy until you came back

And ever since you’ve disrupted my life

You’ve yet to help make it better

Since you’ve disrupted, my life is worser than it’s ever been

I’m still stuck on a person who’s not bothered to check in

I’m stuck on someone who is very much ok with seeing me dead before actually trying to make amends

You’ll see me dead before you even have the decency of making things right.....

Like everyone else....

You’ll have regrets after I’m gone

You’ll wished you never left me like this

Because if you hadn’t,

I would’ve still been here

If it weren’t for you

I could’ve done something better with my life

Instead I’m killing myself slowly

There’s just no avoiding it

For me there’s no tranquility

I can’t forget nor move on

You’ll see me dead before you will see my life get better

I’m not meant to live a happy life

It’s been pointed out

I realized I’m nothing more than a lost cause

I’m in dire need of help

But no one here’s me

You’ll see me dead before anyone helps me get over you....

Either way.....

It doesn’t look like I’ll be able to see you ever again

You’re gone....

Take care of yourself

Wherever you are...

I’m sorry for everything

Im sorry I just couldn’t be stronger than you

Im sorry I let everyone else win

Im sorry I let you down repeatedly

I’m sorry that this isn’t any better

I’m sorry for being such a bother

I promise when I finally go

I won’t be able to bother you anymore

You can finally have that peace instead of me holding your faults over your head

I’m sorry all I wanted to do was to be wanted by you or just for you to stick around for once....for longer than months at a time....

I’m sorry I’ll never get to truly know you

You’ll see me dead before you were to ever let me in again....

I don’t have to have faith

I can tell....you haven’t been here....you won’t ever will....it kills me to think of a whole life without you....to think of how you’ll be able to do it so easily.....

You’ll see me dead before I could even think of living life without you around or even just having closure from our past. I’m sure I’ll be dead before I have the chance to feel better about myself or even have sex again. Not how I imagined leaving this world, but I’m fine with that. You would see me dead before I will even try to love someone else.

That’s what love truly is. If you can’t see that or you can’t even want better for yourself than I can’t help you....

I’m sure you’ll see me dead before you were to start loving yourself....

It’s a shame....

I’ll die without us even rekindling any type of friendship

You’ll see me dead before you’ll even have that motive....

I just had hope that i was going to be the one friend you didn’t have to see in a coffin after so long of not speaking

I didn’t want to be that friend

Unfortunately you’ll see me dead before you were to ever really feel and understand that regret....

If i died, won’t I just be another old friend of yours that you hadn’t talked to in years that you were once so close to....

How can you be ok with this?....

I’m not....I don’t think I ever will be ok with it.....I just can’t believe you’re still silenced. Despite the things I’ve said, I wished to God you felt the pain that you’ve put me through.

You’d maybe then at that point might finally do things differently

Then again it’s a waste of time and data on my phone

You’ll never have any motive to be here or fix things....

You’ll see me dead before anything changes in my life.....that’s just what I’m used to...I give up....im sorry....I just can’t......

@radbakon

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Grace

Rio: Gracie! Can't tie either parental down so you're unlucky enough to be my first port of call Rio: If I come down this week (half term, right? God I feel old not knowing, ick!) how many of yous are gonna be about? Wanna catch all of you if I can Grace: I'm not surprised, Nico thinks mum's charger is the most fun thing EVER and you know dad still kicks it like he's at some 70s disco instead of a restaurant kitchen. So cringe! Grace: Iggy's took off in the van and Pablo's never here even when he is (ugh we get it, you're hanging shush) but everyone else maybe? Grace: Unless Junior's nerding it up idk Rio: Bless them, you'll miss them when you go Rio: Mum and Dad, the cats, only your faves and Nico is a little bitch 😂 Rio: Good enough for me! Sure enough I'll only hold any of yas down for a hot second regardless Rio: What've you been up to? Got any fun plans then? Grace: 😂 No way they're the worst and won't give me the chance Grace: Ask Janis they're always in her grill now she has a bf she can't ever peel herself off of Grace: Gurl you better make time for me! 😚 London's like another planet and I need that goss Grace: Gotta keep uploading that 🐰🐣 content Grace: but keeping it lowkey 👌 Rio: They're highkey nerds, tis true, least they give a shit, eh? 😘 Rio: Fucking knew it, sneaky bitch. I asked her at NYE and she said nah but I KNEW Rio: Ugh, gonna give her SO much shit when I come back 😂 Rio: Duh! My goss might not set the teenybop influencer world alight but think you'll be into it Rio: Also, got some lush bunny ears from work you can style up if you like, there's the content Rio: Very Ariana Grace: We're so blessed 🙏 Grace: OMFG THANK YOU 👏 she's such a lying bitch Grace: And they are so 😍💍💘 it's HONESTLY disgusting like I can't Grace: YAS 👑!! babes I knew I was missing you Grace: Such a mood Rio: 🙌 Rio: Steady on 😂 Fill me on the beef before I'm taking sides Rio: Can't roll like that babe 🙉 Rio: Is he a twat? I could barely get a look in, hot property with the whole fam that night not just Jan, like 😏 Rio: Right? My turn to THANK YOU 'cos all the other girls were raging after me lemme tell you, saying it reeked of misogyny and cheesy old school playboy Rio: Not educated in Hef paving the way for ladies being allowed to be sexual, ESP the sistas 💣💥 Rio: Its iconic, yeah? Like hush Grace: Honey not even! Now he's got her feeling the 💖 we all benefit Grace: Like from 💀 to 😍!! Grace: Here's the thing he's NICE!! 😮 How and who tf !! 😂 In THESE ends Grace: He's pimped my feed with his 📷 more that once. Lush! Grace: Trust her to find the one decent lad Grace: OMG how shaming! it's literally so on point I feel bad for how off they are. Beyond awkward Grace: 👯💜 Rio: Can't argue with that Rio: It'll be nice to see her happy Rio: All of yous Rio: Yeah, had noticed your new lad was off the feed Rio: Just not the one or do I need to crack skulls on YOUR behalf? Spill! 😘 Maybe Gus has had his 💔 Rio: Right? Not complaining when they were raking in the tips and looking fly doing it, this is why Vinnie listens to me and not them though so 💋 win win for me Grace: 🤞 Grace: UGH don't go there babe Grace: I'm off men rn 🙏 so you can relax Grace: Give Gus and Diego their time to shine 😂 Grace: OMG PLEASE say you can finally get me in sometime soon! 💋 Rio: Good girl 👍 Rio: Me too, more trouble than they're worth, and I'll always check what they're worth, feel me Rio: Love 'em 😂 I'd say they keep me sane but not with the shenanigans they still manage to get themselves into, nah lads Rio: You're old enough that I can vouch for you with him to get you in but Imma need to go out in Dubo with you first Rio: See how you handle your liquor, can't be risking the boss' license if you're gonna get #WGW 😏 Grace: I 100% swear down that D has a 💘 at his school but he's pulling a Jan over it so Grace: Yay! I'm buzzing Grace: Say when and I'll be on it Grace: The vibe looks EPIC in every insta it's 💕 Rio: Surely not! My babies! 😭 Rio: I've changed all ya nappies, it ain't right, I tell ya! 👵 Rio: Whenever you can pencil me in darling 💋 If you come back on the plane with me you'll only have to do the one back alone Rio: Unless you want to bring a mate but you've gotta vouch for them 'cos I don't know them enough to put my name on the line, they ain't my little sister 💛 Grace: 😂😂 I had to go full spa on him cos he was 🙎 and not vibing with the sheet masks he'd been stealing from me for WEEKS 😂😂 Grace: He's so 😍 for someone Grace: This is HAPPENING 👌 Mum'll say yes cos it's obvs for my mental health Grace: It's enough for collab our schedules tbh imagine trying to get the squad hooked up Rio: Aww! What a little sweetie! 😭 Giving me so much fodder to get 'em all with, yas gurl! 🙊 Rio: She defs knows the benefit of letting ya hair down and if she disagrees then she ain't our Muvva 👽 Rio: Same when I was your age, so many parties, so much time stretching ahead...ugh, hark at me Rio: Speaking of though, Pabs has managed to keep outta the drunk tanks since my last visit, yeah? 🙄 Chief Grace: I'd say go easy cos the acne is !! but where was mine was I was a 🍕 me and payback are bitches that have each other's backs like 😂 Grace: So welcome 💋 remember who treated you right hun 😚 Grace: Oh babe that's proper tragic 😂 Are you okay?! Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I'd lie to spare your feels but I can't even cos he is not forgiven! Fuck him truly Rio: Way harsh babe! Gotta share that knowledge and spot treatment 🙏 older sib duties ✌ you only gotta look out for them 3, feel MY pain when I wanna be a petty bitch please 😉😂 Rio: Clearly not, like...What tf am I like? 🙈 Rio: Still in the dog house then...I hope little miss tiny tits is too, seen her being snide on the 'gram Rio: we know she's no 😇 so as long as she's getting her share of the 💩 from you, I ain't judging on the Pabs score 👌 Grace: 😈 LMAO jks obvs I'm living for getting to flex like that Grace: Nobody else lets me near their face, their loss but still BOO Grace: Ugh yes cos he doesn't even see that he did me WRONG she was trying he's just an idiot and its like BOY NO Grace: Never learning them lessons Grace: 🚫 No worries there she's BEYOND cancelled 🚫 Grace: I hate that bitch Rio: That's why you gotta get them clients honey, just you wait, people will be BEGGIN' for your time and expertise 😘 Rio: Yeah, he's a fool in general though Rio: Not to say that ain't valid, 'cos 100% babe, but it wasn't personal, like Rio: Try to remember that 'cos he's not that boy, no matter what typa foolishness he's caught up in rn 😒 Rio: 👏 I like what I'm hearing, Gracie! So much growth! Rio: Here for it Grace: I feel you but also it's like idk it was personal to me cos she was my best friend and he knew that Grace: On some level idk Grace: Whatever I'm trying to be over it Grace: There's bigger 🐠 Rio: Fair Rio: Idk if he knows he knew...Mouthful Rio: Give him time and a chance, but that's it, sensible big sister said her piece on that, you're free to go on doing what you're doing 😜 Grace: Thanks 👑 Grace: Rio, I can forreal come to london right? Like you're not just shhing me Grace: I'm so done with this place atm Rio: Of course you can Rio: As long as the 'rents sign off on it, you can stay for as long as you like Rio: That's Dubo for ya...gets under your skin Rio: Anything else I can do, tho? Grace: 💜 Grace: Ugh it's just everything Grace: There's barely anything I can do Grace: Ignore me I'm a hormonal 👾 Rio: Have you had your B12 and folates checked? Billie and Edie were anaemic you should double-check 'cos that will have you feeling rough as Grace: 👼 You're adorbs Grace: Enough of my chatter anyway, how are you? Rio: 👀 okurr but we're coming back to this later Rio: 'cos I'm same old same old Rio: Nothing beyond the promised goss of London to report Rio: No boys, remember? Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: Oh please you always have a boy Grace: Spill it Rio: 😨 Swear on my life, babe! Rio: Nothing and no one Grace: We're twinning then 💕 Grace: Do tell Janis 😂 Rio: Coming for ya brand Rio: Shameless 😏 like to think I could pass, not that old or having THAT crisis tho, jfc Grace: 👯💣🔥 Grace: You're flawless babe don't even stress Grace: when I'm your age I'll have to pray Rio: Aww, you doll, extra brownie points for boosting my ego 💋 Rio: What you chattin'?! We're all babes, lbr Grace: 😂 shhh avó be repping herself hard in me and no offence 👵 it's not goals 💔 lmao Grace: obrigado,... mas não, obrigado like she rocks it but she's also way old so Grace: the struggle is real 😂 Rio: You're mad gal Rio: don't be wasting your youth hating on what you'll miss Rio: though we all age like fine wine, avó paving the way 💣 Rio: Ma was onto something having us so young Grace: Don't let her hear you say that Grace: My ears are still ringing from her calling me out Rio: umm Rio: BISH YOU WHAT Grace: 🤷 No drama just Rio: You weren't on the pill? Or missed a day? Rio: We've all had the scare but I never got as far as needing to tell Mum Rio: You poor thing! 😨🙈 Grace: Well obvs that was my bad but she only made me die about a thousand times Grace: I survived Rio: Eeep! Rio: At least she didn't march you down the clinic in a shame cone like most would round here Grace: OMG like she made me go but my ootd was my own doing 🙏 Rio: Not so much as a high collar in sight 🙌 Rio: Explains your hormones though, babe, that shit will FUCK you up for ages Rio: so no worries there Grace: I know exactly what I'm in for Grace: Ugh Rio: Forreals Rio: Who'd be a fucking woman, eh? Grace: Mia. To fuck over the others Grace: kms Rio: 😂 Rio: Fueled by her PMS that one Grace: [Sends her 2 very similar selfies} which one do you vibe the most with? Rio: 1st one, s'more natural Rio: smile ALMOST reaches your eyes Grace: lmao Grace: Thanks babes Rio: if you gonna fake it 'til you make it Rio: gotta keep you the realest, ain't I? 😉 Grace: gotta keep me 😂 Rio: Wanna Rio: Blood ties aside 😘 Grace: 💜 Rio: Best get ready for work Rio: Could use you here to do my look for me, cba tonight 😐 blah Grace: I'd be living for that you know it but you'll be killing it with or without me, honey Grace: You got this gurl Rio: Cheers 🍸 Rio: I'll get the first round in when I see ya boo 💋 Grace: Yay! So excited 😚

[celestialallstars]

Episode #3: "Make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent" - Mo

So first off WOOOOO! The vote happened exactly as it was supposed to. I'm hoping that means I'm actually on the pulse of this tribe. I've gradually been getting closer to Jared, and I think he trusts me probably more than I trust him.

Second off, this challenge my god. I hate it, like it's a good challenge but for me... oof. Doing this, it's like I have facial dyslexia or something. Like all of the mouths and eyes start blending together and it just starts to look nuts.

I'm hoping to keep trudging forward, if we somehow pull a win out of this, even better if Cyrena goes to tribal again given it was basically unanimous. Alternatively Orfeo to balance things out. I'm tired though and it's been a long day, so it is now time to sleep.

I’m conflicted because I so badly want to be a bad bitch and create an over the top plan but there’s such a high chance that it will flop and make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent. So I’m going to try to create my own kinda of genius that only applies to me. It sounds stupid but it’ll work. I’m being bold by saying it’ll work cus if I get eliminated I’ll look like a Doofenshmirtz. We’ll see. I’m already making charts to help me see who’s good and who’s not so good at comps. Comparing teammates to eachother and comparing the entire cast to eachother. Wish me luck. (Also I love everyone in this cast.)

So like I have so many mixed feelings about this cast. In terms of talking a lot of them are BORING or LEAVE ME ON READ, and like maybe for some it’s cause I’m not in their tribe but like, some people on my tribe still make me want to hit my head against a rock. So like that’s what I’m feeling.

Also think we’re gonna loose this immunity which I’ve hardly done anything for. So go me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just a small update Mitch and I are chatting so that answers that question

"What's going on?" Well I shall tell you Anna Jane exactly what is going on. I need to get back into therapy that's what.

Apparently everyone is stressed about results and then there is me who does not care cause I want bodhi gone cause he legit doesn't talk to me so meh.

ALSO ALISSA FOUND AN IDOL QUEEEN. so we now have an idol between the 3 of us which could come in handy very much later down the road which we love! I have 100% trust in jack and alyssa now, with mo as my number 3 on this tribe. As much as i love tobi personally (hi tobi reading this post season) but like idk something is still off. he hasn't spoken much game to me at the moment so idk where his head is really at..

god help us its results this challenge was hard woo go cyrena!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

we lost by 1 point. oh my god. 1 point. that makes me wanna cry. dear god let this be a simple vote or i will actually start crying

WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE ON THE SHITTY TRIBE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IS THERE SOME SICK SATISFACTION OF ME ALWAYS GOING TO TRIBAL????? FUCK

I am SO pumped! I do feel bad for the people on Cyrena, but where it stands now, them going to tribal I feel is best for my game just relationship-wise for me. Still, I can only hope I am making few bonds over on their end while maintaining the ones I have on my tribe and Tuatha as well. I do really hope Mo at least makes it because he helped me this morning when I was getting bummed about all the winner talk. I'm quite optimistic for right now!

I Wrote Alexis Maxwell But I Erased It

Well we won the challenge (BARELY), a bit annoyed that we submitted before I got another chance to take a crack at the photos. I feel like I could've maybe found 1 or 2 more before we submitted. Granted we'd need to have found either 3 more or beaten Orfeo to the punch if we had wanted the reward.

I think so long as Bodhi doesn't go on Cyrena I'm pretty indifferent about them losing. They're the people I talk to the least relatively. Ideally I'd probably want an Alyssa, or Matt boot, but I have no influence so we'll see what happens.

I'm just trying to be social and relatively unimposing right now. It's Day 8, now's not the time to be doing glaringly bold things.

um so we won wooh but still no 2nd idol im sad i want one. um wanted green tribe to go tribal but blue going again i hope bodhi/jack/alyssa leave cuz they dont talk to me ever um ya thatd be cute or maybe tobi cuz hes a snake but maybe he not a snake this time? my stan list atm is jared > zach = rhys > loris = chloe > everyone else. my unstan list is: sharky jack alyssa mitch <3 um yaa hope i can do sth. chris so good gotta always watch out for him jared asked who i wanted to go to f3 with and i said def not chris and he was like oh i wanted chris in end so like hes def a threat also he likes zach so um that needs to stop real quick.

I think it should be Bodhi or Tobi to go. Am I gonna say anything? Not right now, no. Will I say something later? No clue it depends. But Bodhi isn’t as active as the others and doesn’t participate all that much. Tobi is semi-active but isn’t great at challenges. I remember him being good at challenges so idk if he’s just distracted or not putting that much energy into this. I think a swap is happening after this potentially but if it ain’t it’s still best to vote out the weakest link. It might be me and I might just be super cocky rn but I don’t think it’s me.

hi! yesterday was a monumental day. I tried to mend my social game with those I hadn’t talked much to, which resulted in me having a lengthy conversation with jack, and making me feel a bit more secure in my tribe/in the event of a swap. the people I don’t talk to keep getting voted out which I’m very much a fan of but that’s probably because they were inactive so that trend might not continue :(. also I lied in my last conf I’m now in an alliance with Chris Jared kori and Bryce? I didn’t expect it but i didn’t feel too close with kori so that should help me solidify something there!! :) I’m thriving. don’t call me ANGEL!

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don’t call me ANGEL! (in case of task challenge :p)

So we won the challenge. Again. It’s really nice to be able to just sit back and relax in the game and watch people struggle but I’m really nervous about it because we’re all so kumbaya on the Oreo tribe that I don’t fully know who I can trust just yet. Another piece of tea is the fact that Alyssa has an idol which is great for me because it shows Alyssa trusts me and I can trust her for the time being. However I’m worried about Alyssa because we keep promising each other merge which tells me she won’t want to go to the end with me just yet so I gotta keep her close and we’ll see how much damage we can do but i think I’m thriving bc I actually know where an idol is compared to last time when I had no clue.

so previously on The Adventures of a F*g, i had a small breakdown about the game. i dont know if true, but bryce informed me of an alliance between kori/jared/bryce/loris/chris, and the last two named are super close allies of mine (the closest on my tribe). they like.. didnt tell me shit about it and idk i guess i just feel excluded and it sucks that im in legit 0 (real) alliances. ive been doing good socially i thought and i dont know but i feel like i really sucked.

meanwhile, i sat down with a bag of salt and vinegar lays chips and talked to myself. why was i doing bad? why was i in 0 alliances? why no one like me?

then it hit me... like boom.

i realized that a typical flaw i had this game was caring too much. i pride myself on my ability to read situations (barring paranoia) and i know myself very well. like, i realized that since i was too concerned with doing good and proving myself, i kind of lost the fun of it all and probably come off as fake or forcible to other people. that isn't authentic.

BUT MY EPIPHANY increased even further. how? i dont know!! my brains so fucking big. i just had to be goofy. yes, i want to do good. i really do. but i played once before in this series and got RU pots and 5th. i know i am capable of being a good player and im content with that, and now that im moving into that mindset where this game wont no longer dictate whether im good or bad, im going to start having fun.

i know this isnt about game really but its like... #selfdiscovery

but ya i just wanted to update yalls on that. i won immunity though so im f18 and probs in swap. woo. finna get fucked. anyway, thank u.

and since i want like attention on this post im going to put tags.

#selfdiscovery #justgirlythings #l4l #follow4follow #gay #faggot #0alliances #disney #anime #weeb #lgbt #survivor #bigbrother #celestial

After we won the face morph challenge, it has been pretty slow. I still have a solid group with me Stephen Z and Jared. Kori and Bryce are close, Jared and I are close, Rhys and Jared are close, and Stephen and I are close. Those are the allegiances I know of right now, but things could change. Lucky for the alliance of 5, they all get to stick together. If there is a swap though, I won't hesitate to flip on bryce/rhys/kori if the opportunity presents itself. I am also kind of worried I am not keeping up socially. I have had a busy week, so my availability is limited, but I try to talk to as many people as I can when I am available. If my predicitons are correct, we should expect a swap soon. I'd love to meet up with Michael, Bodhi, Alyssa, Chloe, Drew, and Mo just to name a few. I feel like I have been able to connect well with everyone except Matt H.

So, as per my last confessional we are at tribal. And I'm conflicted. As said before I have an alliance with jack and Alyssa and they are my main 2 at the moment like love them both. We helped Alyssa find the idol and we now have a vote steal which I found. However I am feeling kinda conflicted over this vote. Jack and Alyssa want to get rid of Tobi but I personally want bodhi gone. He doesn't talk to me like at all and like he's not the best at challenges. I wanna keep Tobi as well for like a laugh because I genuinely love him. We all agreed to keep mo thank god but still, a lil conflicted. AGH. I have found a vote steal tho woo. I'm not going to be happy but I'll swallow my pride and just go with the alliance, because I'm not out here trying to make waves and be unloyal at the moment. That's for later LOL

I think there is a relatively high chance that i'm going home here, considering its 1 and a half hours till tribal and people "still haven't heard anything" so i'm assuming that i'm getting the chop here which sucks... I tried pretty hard considering i've been pretty busy and like they're not giving me much to work with here and it feels like im trying to break through a wall. I'm trying to get the target on bodhi but no one is fucking online to even try to talk to about it so i'm at  a lost for what to do here... I want to stay but i just don't know how to do that when no one is talking to me... i could just be extremely paranoid and i sound delusional right now but idk something feels off here... its so annoying when I enjoy talking to other tribes more than my own NNNN like i really wish things were different but they're not so i'm just gonna try my best and see what happens

Woo we win again. Im trying to step up socially with my tribe, although who knows how long it's gonna matter bc we're prob swapping tonight. Apparently people were saying mo's name, let's pray it doesn't happen bc he's a good fucking kid.

Well it's been a slow couple of days for me. In game I can't really speak much to anything that may have happened. I feel like Tuatha has had a bit of a kumbaya casual flow going on. Which isn't necessarily bad but it makes it hard for me to know how I'm really doing.

Tobi was messaging me worried it might be him, which admittedly wouldn't be the worst thing given how we ended our last game. I was kindof an ass which I kindof leaned into after essentially throwing that game, but I still wish I'd found a way to end things better with him. While there are others I'd rather see go, his boot is one I can probably accept.

If it isn't him then oof who knows then. So long as it isn't Bodhi from that tribe. Overall I'm feeling ok, but I don't want to get complacent, it's just so early that I really don't know what to make of things. One world still isn't really helping since I'm still struggling to try and make conversation with EVERYONE. I really should consider just narrowing it down to some instead of all.

I’m sure hoping this works out for me if there is a tribe swap like a suspect, I think I’ve built some strong enough connections but without going to tribal it’s just not possible for me to be 100%

I've never been on a tribe with a winning streak I feel like I'm in the upside down hahaha. I'm having a great time and getting to know everybody and not having the stress of tribal is great. Sucks for the other tribes OOP

Nothing much is happening! I am still set up perfectly on my tribe and Bodhi has informed me that either Mo or Matt might be going. That was at the beginning of the round so it could really be anyone. I just hope it isn't Bodhi Alyssa or Mo.

Ok this past round was ok. I just kind of let us lose immunity and then we voted out Tobi. I didn’t want to vote out Tobi but that fucker voted for me so I don’t really care at all fuck him.

So not very much has changed on Tuatha as far as I can tell. My tribe winning the immunity challenge has helped me delay any confrontation between my 2 alliances which is great, as it should theoretically allow me to maintain relationships with all 6 members of the tribe. Still, it's going to keep being important to win immunity or pray for a swap in order to keep these groups from clashing.

Jared and Rhys are still a ? for me. I don't know why/how Rhys was able to convince Kori to invite Jared to the alliance of 5 instead of Mitch, and it worries me that those 2 may have a stronger bond than I immediately suspected. Hopefully I'll have an opportunity to deal with that when the time comes.

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Tobi is voted out 5-1. We swap!