#i hope this plan won't backfire on me

[jessicas-pi]

y'know I'm a little surprised that the Princess Bride reference didn't win, but then again, this one is also a great choice

Sabine’s face is set in determination. “Okay, I’m gonna ask you a really weird question, and I need you to be honest.”

“Sure.”

“Completely honest.”

Ezra nods. “Of course. What is it?”

“If I asked you to, would you fake-marry me?”

Ezra stares at her.

“…would I fake-marry you?”

“Yes. If I asked, would you? Because—” She sucks in a breath of air, and he can sense her spiking anxiety. “Because, you’re my best friend and if I had to choose someone to spend the rest of my life with it would be you, and my family thinks you’re great, and—and if we were fake-married then when I go back to the Ghost you could have the bottom bunk in my room and you wouldn’t have to share with Zeb anymore, and it would be fun, right? And—when we’re older, maybe we could adopt a kid, or a Padawan, and let’s be honest, it would be hilarious for the Countess of Clan Wren to have a Jedi son-in-law, and you don’t have to say yes, obviously, this is just random and hypothetical and—okay, it’s not hypothetical, but you can say no and I’d understand, but—”

He interrupts her with a touch on the arm.

“Sabine.”

She winces and looks away, but Ezra smiles.

“I would totally fake-marry you.”

Sabine meets his eyes instantly. “Really?”

“Really. We’ve been fake-dating for two years; this is just the logical next step, right?” he jokes, but she stays serious.

“You don’t need time to think about it?”

“No. Honest.”

For a second, their gazes hold, and then Sabine nearly tackles him over in the second enormous hug she’s given him that day.

“Thank you,” she whispers, squeezing him tightly for a second before letting go, and she sounds so relieved that it makes him wonder if there’s some bigger reason she wants to fake-marry him. (Probably complicated Mandalorian politics.) “You’re actually kind of great, Ezra Bridger.”

“And somehow it took you this long to figure it out,” he banters back.

“Very funny.” She punches his arm with a laugh, then clasps his hands and meets his eyes and smiles so warmly that he would think there was something more behind it, if he didn’t know there wasn’t. “So, who are we thinking for wedding guests?”

Ezra thinks for a moment pretending to be solemn, then cracks a grin. “Can we invite all the guys who said you were out of my league and pity-dating me?”

“Only if I can paint Chopper pink and make him our flower droid.”

“Deal.”

[harunayuuka2060]

WHB Series #1 (Cont.)

MC: *ended up living in a large villa after the three seraphs decided to accompany them to the human world*

Bimet: Do you need anything else?

MC: No, this should be enough. Give my thanks to Mammon.

Bimet: ...

Bimet: Do you feel like your plan is backfiring on you?

MC: Not at all, though it sure hell is annoying.

Bimet: *smirks*

Bimet: I'll be going back now. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need more assistance. *disappears*

Michael: *approaches them* I didn’t expect you to make this decision, but I’m very pleased nonetheless.

MC: ...

MC: I wouldn't have any issue accommodating Raphael and Gabriel, but sending Michael back alone would be a problem.

Michael: *smiling*

MC: And this fucker is aware of that.

MC: *smiles back* That's great to hear. Honestly, I can't wait to enjoy this vacation with my lovely seraphs.

Michael: I’ll make sure you’re entertained, descendant of Solomon. By the way, I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve prepared a bedchamber just for the two of us.

MC: *disgusted face*

Michael: *chuckles*

MC: *is on the phone with Minhyeok*

Minhyeok: You should have stayed here.

MC: And what are you gonna do?

Minhyeok: ...

Minhyeok: *sigh* I'm worried.

MC: Dude, you worry over every single thing.

Minhyeok: ...

Minhyeok: Can you at least tell me where the villa is? I'll visit you.

MC: No.

Minhyeok: ...Okay. If you don't want me to go there, how about asking one of the kings to keep them in check?

MC: That won't be possible. They have a country to— Wait. Actually, that's a good idea.

Bael: Where are you going this time, Bel?

Beelzebub: MC has requested me.

Bael: *confused* The descendant of Solomon?

Beelzebub: If you don't want to believe me, here's their text message.

Bael: ...

Bael: *frowns* They’re just asking you to send a clone of yourself.

Beelzebub: Ah, but that won't do. *chuckles*

Bael: ...

Raphael, Gabriel, and Michael: *look displeased*

Beelzebub: Hi~. We meet again~. *hugs MC*

Beelzebub: You look stressed~. Let Belbel take care of you. *with a kissy face*

MC: *already regrets choosing him*

Gabriel: Even though you're a king, you have no right to embrace god!

Beelzebub: Hm~? *hugs them even tighter*

Beelzebub: Is it wrong for me to show the creator of all the love they deserve?

MC: No doubt. The real god will spite me for this.

Raphael: I understand your point, Beelzebub. However, god looks uncomfortable.

MC: Yes, he has a point.

Beelzebub: *loses his hold* *smiles* Sorry.

Michael: ...

Michael: *feels an undescribable jealousy*

MC: Raphael and Gabriel, you two will join me in my chamber. Beelzebub, feel free to choose any room you like in this villa. As for Michael, you are forbidden from entering mine.

Raphael and Gabriel: *quite pleased*

Michael: ...

Michael: That’s fine. I can just simply invite you to my room.

MC: *frowns*

Beelzebub: ...

Beelzebub: *realizing that the reports were true* Oh.

[signedkoko]

(separate) lucifer and striker with an s/o who fell from the heavens headcanons!! the more closer they get, the more they realize their s/o was one of the angels on the council but didn’t condone the extermination — of which, they were casted down to hell.

Lucifer | Striker X Reader [Romantic]

In which they know you are a fallen angel, but not the extent to which you protected hell. Reader is genderneutral.

Lucifer could sense your presence quite fast

But only because you weren't an exterminator—no, you were something far stronger

It pained him to see a new angel cast down, the first since he was, bloodied and caught in the fiery pit you'd have to call home

He understood you must have been an angel that came along after him, though, because he didn't recognize you

Either way, Lucifer offered you a place to stay and let you adjust to life in hell through his lens—a safe house where demons couldn't bother you as much

Of course, he also wanted to make sure the news of your existence didn't get out

He could only imagine the kinds of people who might want to get their hands on a fresh angel

Even though he was cast down himself, Lucifer is very flattered that you know him and that you speak so highly of him

You quickly worm your way into his heart, and he loves talking to you a lot about his past and all the things he kept buried within him

Even down here, you still seemed happy, although a tad uneasy

He won't pressure you for your backstory too much, but with his knowledge of heaven he is able to gather that you were at least a mid-ranking angel on the council

Your position exactly, he wasn't sure

He only found out after he spoke about his daughter's plan with the hotel

" Thats a wonderful idea! They may cast me down for demanding an end to extermination, but I won't let them ruin your daughters redemption plans. "

You dropped it so casually that he almost missed it, swooning at how supportive of Charlie you were

Actually chokes

Please give him a moment to catch his breath because, wait, really?

That explains a lot, at least

Of course, heaven would cast down the most beautiful of angels just for being kind to even the most damned beings

That same anger within him roars back to life, both for you being shut down and for how he, too, was treated in heaven

He'd make sure your life was far better here, no matter what it took

Being a fallen angel is already an extremely worrisome background for Striker, especially following his hate for royalty

Not that a fallen angel is royalty, but the power dynamic is hard for him to get over, as guilty as he feels now for holding it against you

When you first met, he saved you from another bounty hunter

Saved is the wrong word

He stole you so he could get a prize himself

But it all backfired when you were just so kind and curious, and offering you up to some terrible people didn't feel like the right move

Striker told himself he'd hold onto you until he knew the true value of an angel, but that may have just been him stalling for time

Either way, your charm worked wonders, and now he was stuck with the most attention-grabbing partner in all of hell

Oh well, he knew he could protect you

While he was curious about your life in heaven, Striker was extremely used to not asking questions about others past

But the more he knew, the more he wanted to know

Every few months, you'd tell a story that revealed a new interesting piece of information, things that made him wonder what you had to have done to be so harshly cast down

It all made sense when he puzzled it together one afternoon, when you were particularly fond of your past memories

" I hope Em isn't in trouble too. "

" Why so? "

" Well, she also thought killing demons was pretty bad... "

" Of course, hun. "

As usual he nods along with you before he freezes and jumps out of his chair

" Hol on now, what? "

Striker is able to puzzle things together fast, and he's not sure if he's more pissed at the angels above you or if he's surprised you felt that way

He'd always assumed no angels thought good of demons, but this changed things

Next extermination, he wants to have a hand at capturing one of those winged fuckers and seeing if he can force some more out of them

Author's Note - DEVIL FINALLY I GOT TO UR REQ!!! More Striker content, love to see it- and ofc Lucifer, who I know is about to be eaten up by every person in this god forsaken community. Thank you for requesting 🖤

[sayruq]

Biden's visit has concluded. Israel has spent his entire visit trying to muddy the waters of what happened to Al Ahli Hospital and despite their cartoonish efforts, it hasn't worked

The Global South and especially West Asia know who is responsible for the bombing and no amount of AI voice recordings of 'Hamas operatives' can change that.

Israel war crimes continues to backfire on them even in America

Biden backing Israel has had an impact on America's image. Here's a Wall Street Journal article warning that America's continued support is turning countries towards Russia and China which is code for turning countries against America

An EU official said that the EU will pay a heavy price in the Global South for its continued, unabashed support for Israel

There's also speculation that the Biden administration knew about the bombing before it happened.

Countries that were/are allied with Israel continue to distance themselves from Israel like Russia. The reason I keep highlighting Russia is because the West has been running out of ammunition due to the Russia-Ukraine war and that includes Israel which is rumoured to have sent 80-90% of its ammunition to Ukraine. If this conflict lasts a long time, Israel will need to buy weapons and ammunition and Russia would be one of the countries they would turn to (same with China)

So, where are we in terms of the conflict? After days of waffling over a ground operation in Gaza, Israel postponed it until some time after Biden's visit and now we're back here again

Now I'm no military expert but constantly going back and forth on whether or not you'll invade Gaza is bound to do damage to your troops' morale. No wonder they're dealing with mass desertions while their citizens demonstrate on the streets. The Israeli leadership has no plan besides bombing Gaza.

I've seen people on twitter say that the hospital bombing was done deliberately to normalise IDF soldiers to mass civilian deaths in places like hospitals, schools, places of worship, etc. I don't know if I believe that - I think they wanted to push Iran and Hezbollah's buttons before hiding behind Biden. I don't think these people are thinking strategically.

As far as the possibility of regional war is concerned, all indicators show that the West preparing for the war to escalate

Seems to me the Israel has seen what Ukraine has received in just a year and a half of war. They're done receiving a paltry 3.8 billion every year and now prepared to drag out the conflict and I can't say I blame with Biden proposing a 100 billion package for both Ukraine and Israel. This will stretch America too thin as far as funding in concerned. Cracks are already showing

There are parts of the US government that is unhappy that the Ukraine war is losing attention. During the Ukraine war, you had parts of the government that wanted focus to shift from Russia to China. Because of that, the US government has spent the past year alternating between hostility to Russia and threatening to go to war with China over Taiwan. When Niger expelled France from within its borders, America was preparing to join that conflict until Mali and Burkina Faso declared they would fight with Niger. Now they're entering a third front in West Asia. In short, the mighty empire is expending a lot of resources right now and it is not the threat it was when it invaded Iraq and Afghanistan in the early 2000s.

At any rate, the ground invasion of Gaza won't go the way Israel and America hopes it will

The coalition of Palestinian resistance fighters are still patiently waiting for the IDF to come meet them. Their allies aren't backing down either

The reason I keep making these posts is to remind people that, while the genocide of the people of Gaza is horrifying, the war for the liberation of Palestine has not yet been lost.

Do not lose hope. From the river to sea, Palestine WILL be free

[doyouknowbtsswag]

Hiii, hruuuu i loved your chishiya fic and wanted to request a chishiya imagine/oneshot where he tries to fluster YOU but it backfires and he gets flustered and embarrased and shy (unnecessary detail but the reader is also rlly quiet and is good at manipulating and stuff like that)

Also, no rush, hope ur gonna write this and hope your doing well, eating,drinking and sleeping well, love youuu byeee<33

Playboy |Chishiya|

I am so sorry it’s been so long since this was requested hopefully you like it😭

The sound of loud party music and people messing around could be heard miles away. The people around me to hyper for their own good and the alcohol they were drinking wasn't helping. I awkwardly sat on one of the sun chairs annoyed at the current outfit I was wearing if it counts as one. The stupid bikini I had to wear that showed off almost everything on my body. I saw a guy coming over near the group of people in front of me ready to attack them with water. I quickly got up from the chair and wandered around to find somewhere water-free which was inside. I cringed walking past the bar filled with people drunk out of their minds and doing the most vulgar things that belonged in private. I walked faster through the halls not wanting to take the risk of bumping into Niragi. I internally gagged at the thought of him in general. I stayed by myself the whole time I've been in borderland not wanting to cling to someone and then lose them. I opted on going up to the roof knowing no one would party up there. The breeze countered the stuffy feeling downstairs. The smell of alcohol and smoke leaving my nose and having a fresh smell. I leaned against the railing looking out to the sea. I smiled thinking about what my life will be like after Borderland and I don't intend on dying anytime soon.

I play the game as if it was Chess. I collect my allies as if they're my pawns once I don't need them I knock them off the board. The day I ended up here was bittersweet. I need a reliable pawn so I can make my way up to one day get rid of the people in my way to beat the game and one of the people who are in my way so far is that bastard Niragi and the militants who are nothing but assholes. Once that happens I'll get them in my clutch and knock them off my board and make sure they shatter. I groaned in annoyance hearing the door open thinking two people were up here to hook up.

"I didn't see you come up here," a girl said as I glanced over my shoulder.

"I've been up here" I shrugged in an unbothered tone. "It's a nice spot" I turned around to see who it was.

"I can't blame you," the familiar face said. I've seen her multiple times and played a game or two with her.

Perfect pawn

"What's your name again? We've played quite a few games together It's funny we've never exchanged names" I gave a fake smile.

"Kuina"

"Oh, I've never seen him before," I said casually nodding to the mysterious guy.

"Chishiya," He said giving an unbothered grin.

Another pawn

"Nice to meet you," I said a little pissed at his perfect grin that matched his face perfectly.

I walked a bit closer so I wasn't so far from the pair but I stood at a comfortable distance from them. However, the blonde seemed amused by the interaction.

"So what brings you up here?" I asked watching and listening to them carefully.

"Why should we tell you?" Chishiya said with his hands in his pockets.

He's confident

"Just wondering since I'm planning on staying up here" I crossed my arms.

"You will eventually so don't worry about it"

Stop with the smug smile

"Maybe I will or maybe I won't" I shrugged.

"So Y/n how've you been?" Kuina asked derailing the topic.

"I've been fine just hanging around" I shrugged. "Not much to do"

"Your right about that"

"Not much of a party girl huh?" The blonde piped in as if he wanted to piss me off.

"Not really I'm not interested in getting wasted when I have to play games to survive wouldn't be smart would it?"

"Your right about that" He moved his head to the side chuckling. "You just look like a party girl"

"Oh really?" I uncrossed my arms. "How so?"

"Your swimsuit and the way you have your hair"

Is he trying to flirt with me or catch me off guard?

"So we're going by looks"

"Maybe," He said confidently.

I walked closer to him till we were shoulder to shoulder.

"Then I guess you look like a playboy" I whispered in his ear. "Thanks for the compliment earlier by the way”

I didn't have to look at his face to see his cheeks tinted red. The way his body tensed up told me I won the silent confidence battle.

"I'll leave you two to talk about whatever you need to talk about" I walked to the roof door to get back down. I waved goodbye seeing Kuina's confused look and Chishiya's mouth wide open. "Oh and don't die" I winked and grinned walking downstairs.

[thomas-jefferson-miku-binder]

Dying to know your thoughts on arcane season 2 act 2 (and how you think they handled orianna specifically) ^-^ take your time though and I hope you feel better soon

I talked a little bit about it on Twitter because I use that place as a sketchbook for most meta posts I write.

I... actually did not vibe with the Orianna moment. In a show where so much happens in so little time (and especially in Act 2), the whole thing just felt like taking up minutes that could’ve been used to shed a little more light into whatever the fuck is going on with the Hexcore, which is a point I'll be circling back to later.

I don't think Singed’s character asks for that deep explanation of why he does things the way he does, even if I appreciate his writing and lines. That whole moment felt like This Is League of Legends and Arcane-canon bullshit and “we need to tie everything into lol lore”. And it kills me because I'm sure this wouldn't be a problem if they didn't make Arcane the main canon universe.

Going back to the Hexcore, a thing that really bothered me was Act 2’s lack of storytelling clarity regarding Viktor. We leave Act 1 with the understanding that there’s something going on with Hextech and that whatever is influencing Viktor has a deeper, more sinister intent. This shows in how he handles his and Jayce's relationship, the effects over his voice lines during their conversation ("It was affection that held us together"), the way the anomaly behaves during EP3's showdown, and Sky's role in all of it. To me, in Act 1, it's implied that the Sky Viktor sees throughout his journey in the underground and how it behaves wasn't in fact Sky, but something using her skin to guide Viktor using a familiar form (a form which coincidently provokes in him a lot of guilt) for its own purposes. I thought showing Sky without her glasses was a really clever way to also convey that, stripping her of what made her human, showing there's something off.

And we get to Act 2, especially EP 6, and I'm beyond confused. The space sequences show Viktor talking and acting like he did before the events of Season 2. He looks like he previously did. He sounds like he previously did. And then they show Sky! Just behaving like a person! No more sinister undertone, no more just despersonified screams of agony from her dying moments to guide Viktor. And I'm so confused about what they're trying to tell me! And it's not the good confusing feeling you sometimes get from art, it's the "I think you fucked up whatever message you were trying to convey".

I know that the Arcane is written to be fucked up. Evil horrors beyond our comprehension is the point, I know that. Most people know that. But the space scenes did not seem to know that at all! All the wariness and tension and lack of agency were just… gone. Idk

And I can't even bring myself to be mad at the "Jayce ruined everything" people because for once I do think it was a failure in the writing depart. It facilitates this type of interpretation 👎👎👎 (this tweet has 20k+ likes)

Not exactly knowing what drove Jayce to act like that is killing me inside, also. They're obviously planning on doing some alternate dimension, multiverse, time-travel-ish thing ("I won't fail"), which scares me on its own merit, but merely knowing something happened isn't as sufficient as I myself thought it would be. I feel like it’s one of the few moments where Arcane’s wait-a-week Act structure backfired because not knowing his process takes A Lot from it.

I tend to really enjoy Arcane’s type of storytelling where not everything is acted out, leaving space for you 🫵 the viewer to fill in those gaps (for example, the enforcer Vi scenes). It's why I like League of Legends in general and Star Trek TOS. Enough is shown for it to feel satisfying but it still invites you as a spectator to participate in this story. I do think, however, that Jayce's major decision change should have been explained a bit further.

And yeah I complained a lot, but I loved a lot about it as well. All the Jinx scenes, the Warwick plot, Vi, Isha, Sevika, Mel, Leblanc... that was all insane in the best ways possible. I have some thoughts on Act 2 Cait but that will gain its own separate post

[anincompletelist]

rwrb christmas recs! ❤️

hi all! :D i wanted to rec some festive fics for the holidays for fic rec friday this week!

I'm sure that I've missed some and that some are still to be posted, which will be included in the january rec if so! but here are a few that I've particularly enjoyed reading this month -- the holidays can be a difficult time for many of us and fic - both reading and writing it - can be such a wonderful distraction!

I hope all of you are doing well and being kind to yourselves and to one another this season. happy reading, and as always be sure to spread the love with a kudos, comment, or reblog if possible. enjoy, and happy christmas! <3

+

fell apart (in the usual way) by @hypnostheory (E, 12k)

Henry is a mess around the holidays, and he's expecting to have a tremendously horrid time without Shaan. Fortunately, Alex has plans to make his Christmas both merry and bright. (Bodyguard!Alex Part 2)

When I Think About You by @clottedcreamfudge (E, 36k, wip)

Dream sharing is absolutely not a thing, even though Alex would very much like it to be. The magic of soulmates, however, means that someone you’ve never met – someone whose soul is tied to yours, in whatever way that manifests – can appear in your dreams, like an extra character who keeps popping up over and over again. They won’t be having the same dream as you, and you won’t actually meet, but whatever you remember from the dream can start to take shape in your waking hours; you can figure things out, bit by bit, dream by dream.

Gonna Give You Something (So You Know What's On My Mind) by @affectionatelyrs (E, 4k+)

With the help of a white elephant gift, Henry learns that maybe the whole being-in-love-with-his-roommate thing isn’t as one-sided as he thought.

Every Day's a Holiday (When I'm Near To You) by bleedingballroomfloor (E, 30k)

I know this is a long shot, but if anyone’s going to Texas/anywhere south for the holidays and is crazy enough to drive there instead of fly, I’m looking for a road trip buddy. We can split gas money and snacks if you pick good ones. DM me if you’re interested. And Henry knows he's about the make the most idiotic decision he's ever made in his life. [Or, Henry impulsively tags along with Alex on a road trip to Texas with absolutely no plan. Surely this won't backfire.]

The Christmas Guest by @omgcmere (E, 17k)

Alex is looking forward to a relaxing winter break catching up with his sister after her semester abroad, but June's gone and ruined everything by inviting her insufferable international student friend to stay with their family for a real American Christmas experience. Henry is irritatingly gorgeous with a completely obnoxious superiority complex, and Alex is prepared to hate every single second he's forced to spend in his presence. As Alex starts to get into the Christmas spirit, however, he finds that maybe there's more to Henry than meets the eye - and maybe, just maybe, this will actually be the best Christmas ever

❤️ and if you finish all of these or don't see something you like, be sure to check out this wonderful collection!

New Traditions: A Red, White & Royal Blue Advent Calendar Event

featuring so many beautiful and lovely works by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @adreamareads @lizzie-bennetdarcy @whimsymanaged @raysletters @sparklepocalypse @thinkof-england @littlemisskittentoes and more!

❤️ as well as a few rwrb holiday fic roundup posts I've seen floating around:

cricketnationrise's holiday fics / @cricketnationrise chamel's holiday fics / @cha-melodius railmedaddy's holiday fics / @rmd-writes allmylovesatonce's holiday fics / @three-drink-amy clottedcreamfudge's holiday fics / @clottedcreamfudge

❤️ and, last but most definitely not least, a wonderful and thorough rec from @roseharpermaxwell (thank you for all you do!)

RWRB FirstPrince Holiday Recs

+

happy reading friends! :D

xx

[thereapersgambit]

For a schemer, Annabel's schemes haven't been that successful.

After reading this web series a few times, I was starting to see a pattern. Things aren't really going in Annabel's favor and her favor wasn't any better before her death either. I'll start out with what we knew about her in her life. She was going through her third social season which was coming to a disappointing end simply because it was ending. Her breakdown tell us that much. She longed for a much freedom as she could get for as long as possible. Until she met Lenore but more specifically Leo, who I would assume plans to get her out of the situation which ultimately leads to both their deaths.

And now, their both in the limbo between the land of the Living and the Dead. And now the new plan…is the old plan. To get out with Lenore. Now that I think about it, Lenore really is this woman's world after all of this. Lenore is probably supposed to feel like her source of hope and without her there the act that she constantly puts up will be for nothing. I mean after basically killing her old self, shedding her role in society (the only thing Annabel has to feel safe until Lenore) as a woman to free Annabel. She exceeds her expectations exponentially. Lenore is what she could never be and it seems like that's why she loves her a lot.

But I digress, This plan of hers to be on opposing sides and pretend to be enemies while also setting her own group against each other never has seemed to go very well to going horribly bad. But I'll start with the opposing sides. The morning after the Maze put their plan in effect of the being enemies. When Lenore points out that no one in her trio manifested but still passed, Annabel makes a remark about her not following the assignment. This was supposed to further establish the gap between Annabel's team and Lenore's but to Anna's (and even Prospero's) surprise, Ada speaks up and admits that she's impressed by Lenore's group.

This paired with that "ally ship" Ada tried to build with Lenore wasn't the best for Anna's plan either. Morella certainly wasn't making it easier for her either but Montressor took care of both of those.

Her next plan to have the Spectreless students lose didn't go as planned was directly because of Lenore which causes her scheme to have Duke eliminated quietly backfire because of Lenore's wish. This drives a hug wedge into their relationship. Moreover, if Duke manifests and gets out of the wall, it would get much worse for her scheme if they expose them in some way. This is where I saw a pattern. And lastly, the big plan to escape the Academy.

Let me start by saying this: Annabel doesn't know what the fuck she's getting herself into. Lenore has more valuable information than Annabel Lee has. And it's all because of the Raven. Remember when Lenore asked Anna what her plan was after her escape and she was like "I don't know, love. We'll figure it out." No the fuck you won't, sit down. Lenore knows they wouldn't be able to last 10 minutes out there because they would be devoured. Which she hasn't said to her but still calls her out on how foolish that mindset is for her.

I just wanted to point out that all the effort that Anna's putting into this isn't going that well at all but if anyone has a conclusion that they can put together eloquently, I'd be glad to read it because I'm tired.

(Also, I'm not saying that she has to win all the time but what I am saying is she needs a different approach to planning. It has to involve Lenore but this divorce arc is going to make it a lot harder.)

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1Ep2 First watch

Review with spoilers for episode 2 under the cut.

(Which is mostly me ripping into Jinshi.)

Jinshi. My man. I'm both exasperated and excited to see you try your plan to seduce Maomao.

I saw it in episode 1 when you easily maneuvered Maomao into exposing herself and confessing, so I knew you were somewhat crafty. Also, this being a palace intrigue story, I do expect some shady stuff. Even so, I was hoping you would be upfront and honest with Maomao. She was forthcoming with her background, skills, and why she stepped forward to help the sick infants (I'm of the opinion she may have additional secrets that she has not yet revealed, but even so), and yet Jinshi is planning on using dishonest methods to try and control her.

He's a handsome man in power, he's probably used to being able to influence women with seduction. However, I think this plan is likely to fail. Maomao nearly spontaneously combusted when someone joked about her becoming a courtesan, so I'm guessing his flirting will either fluster her in a way that doesn't seduce her or she will find it bafflingly or dishonest and do her best to ignore it. I'm here for anything, whatever goes down I know it's going to be entertaining.

I just met Maomao last episode and I already know seduction is the wrong method to use with her. He would find more success by appealing to her sense of responsibility, justice, or even just her curiosity. He's too smart. I predict that he'll figure this out sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, I hope this seduction plan backfires terribly for him. I want him to end up seducing himself and for Maomao to gain that power over him, where Jinshi hoped to take it from her. I want him to suffer in his desire for her, and eventually I want Maomao to return his affection, but not until he gets what he deserves for trying to manipulate her.

Oh! Okay, I didn't guess that. She's grossed out by him. Maybe I've read this all wrong. *Me rethinking everything. Trying to see earlier scenes in new shades* I'm not convinced she won't like him eventually, but if she is repulsed by men it would explain a few things....

Oh no! Or if she has sexual trauma! That would explain things as well. Ahhh! I hope not! This show won't go that dark will it? *Remembers human trafficking and infant death in the first episode*

At first glance the other ladies in waiting seem nice enough. They are fast to fill in gaps with their own assumptions and immediately gossip about it, so Maomao will want to watch that, but they at least seem compassionate.

Once again we are reminded of Maomaos self harm tendencies with her experiments on herself. In a flashback her father simply laughed and said "that's my little mad scientist." I wonder if she's ever had someone looking out for her that truly cared about her well being? She seems very self sufficient but Maomao deserves to have someone who makes her feel safe and cared for, especially since she's not protecting herself.

For fucks sake Jinshi! Once again he is setting up tests for Maomao without her even knowing she's being tested. In this case he had the food presented in ceramic bowls rather than the more useful silver to see if she would mention it. She did, once again proving her reliability and knowledge.

Princess Peach (I haven't learned this lady-in-waitings name yet but her hair piece looks like PPs crown so I'm going with that for now): If you had spoken up earlier and told someone you were literate, you would have received higher wages.

Maomao: I was kidnapped and brought here against my will. And taking into account that part of my earnings get sent back to the people who stole me, I wasn't exactly eager to.

PP: Basically, you would rather take less pay if it means not supplying the scoundrels who took you with extra drinking money?

This exchange is interesting to me and I think could be seen a couple of ways. On the one hand it could be seen that Maomao would rather suffer herself to ensure that her enemies also suffer than to allow herself to prosper if it means her enemies could also prosper. It could be seen as an act of malice at her own expense. Which... it is. But, that view doesn't account for Maomao's feelings about it which I'm guessing are more self-sacrificing. She would gladly forsake better pay because it's the right thing to do. Evil should not be allowed to prosper and it certainly won't do so with Maomao's help. She'd pick her own suffering every time to prevent injustice.

Goddammit Jinshi! Did he knowingly give Maomao food with an aphrodisiac in it?! What an asshole. He plays so dirty. Thank goodness Maomao is too skilled to fall for that, and now she's on to him.

And Maomao casually solves another mystery, with minimal evidence. She's way too good at this. It could become a problem if she solves an actual crime instead of the two accidental poisonings that she's done up to now. We know someone has tried to poison the concubine twice already so there is someone nafarious in the palace to watch out for. Depending on who it is, if Maomao exposes their crimes, they will probably come for her too.

Jinshi, you bastard! He knows his flirting isn't working, and she easily avoided being secretly dosed with an aphrodisiac, but ask her to make one herself? Well shit, he can get her to dose herself.

Okay so the emperor deliberately placed Jinshi in the back palace to test his concubine's loyalty, but I've got no time to dwell on that because HOLY SHIT! Does Jinshi have a degradation kink! I love that for him!

Meanwhile, Maomao's kink is apothecary ingredients. Lol! She's too funny!

Maomao. Just what am I supposed to believe here. You act disgusted by Jinshi's attempts at seduction but then you think stuff like this:

If he were to come on to someone, blushing and with those looks, it's over.

I'm sure it would be enough to captivate anyone. Male or female.

Moving forward we get this ominous exchange from the concubine and princess Peach:

PP: so the new girl is capable of making drugs.

Concubine: what a beneficial skill.

Does Maomao even realize what it means that she can identify poisons and make them? In a harem setting?! She'll be suspect #1 if anyone gets poisoned, especially considering she's a commoner of low position, meaning she's expendable. Plus, people will be trying to manipulate her into using her skills for their machinations (*cough* Jinshi *cough*). I feel like this story is in the calm before the storm.

There are so many dangers around Maomao and she's so completely alone. She's got her knowledge, skills, and wit but she is so outnumbered and outmatched. I hope she will find a powerful or useful ally.

Fucking Jinshi! This dude's out here stroking her hair, kissing her neck, and whispering in her ear?! Maomao has given no indication that she would welcome his advances, but of course he doesn't care about that. He's out to seduce her. Dick. Joke's on him though, he's going to pay for stealing that chocolate from her. If for no other reason than he'll be left wanting more. Hmmm. That's probably a metaphor.

Actually, now that I've said that, I think that might be right. Jinshi is trying to his best to distract Maomao while stealing the fruits of her labor. Both literally in this scene as well as more generally in all of their interactions. Jinshi has been delighted as Maomao has risen to every challenge and passed every test. Unlike other women in the palace, Maomao doesn't swoon with a sultry look, she resists that, even if she isn't completely immune. He's intrigued already. And he'll be wanting more. I can only hope Maomao keeps him at a distance for awhile. At least long enough for him to really get to know her, understand and learn to respect her.

Her response to Jinshi this time was notably different from before when he flirted with her. This time he didn't use his looks (she couldn't even see him), or any flirty comments. Instead he gently brushed her braid aside and kissed the back of her neck then whispered his appreciation to her. I am once again curious about her past. Did she have anyone in her life to offer her physical affection? Also, thanking her and acknowledging her hard won skills? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's going to work on Maomao. So if Jinshi has a degradation kink then maybe Maomao has a praise kink. That should be fun for them.

But also, why did Jinshi want Maomao to make an aphrodisiac? Was it just for the concubines to use with the emperor?

Now that I've gotten to the end of the episode I've got to go back and ponder about the emperor sending Jinshi specifically to the back palace. Jinshi and his servant are chatting about an incident when a concubine invited Jinshi to her room and Jinshi describes the incident as

an indiscretion we cannot abide.

And I wonder who he means by "we." We as in the back palace? The empire? The harem hierarchy? The imperial family?

Then the servant states a little indignantly:

But to place you in the rear palace, and using your beauty as a means to test their true character...

Why so indignant on the behalf of the rear palace manger? He's got a high position. Power. Respect. By most metrics he's doing great and his placement in the rear palace should be seen as an honor. It would only be seen as an indignation if one were coming from an even higher position. And what's higher than the emperor's harem?

To which Jinshi laughs and responds:

Our emperor can be quite cunning. We all use whatever we're given.

What would be cunning about sending a handsome palace official to the harem to test their loyalty? Seems like a reasonable request. It's the emperor's perogative to appoint his officials as he sees fit. To use what he's been given. Is there some reason it is remarkable to send Jinshi specifically to the rear palace?

Then to what seems like a non sequitur (but isn't!) Jinshi starts talking, fondly, about how Maomao gave him a death glare.

I've never had anyone look at me so harshly in my life!

Really? Never? No one has ever glared at you? How novel... for a prince. I guessed that last episode with zero evidence just based on a twist I'd like to see, but I'm a lot more confident about it after this exchange.

It is also the link that explains how the conversation jumped from how unusual it is that the emperor sent Jinshi to the rear palace to his delightful experience of being glared at.

Jinshi being a prince also adds color to some of his behavior. His expectation that women will fall for his flirtations, his entitlement, sense of privilege, not to mention the deference he receives.

I'm so intrigued by this story. These characters are 💋🤌

If you liked this, you might like my review for episode 1.

Episode 1 review

Episode 3

[lovecraftiancicada]

Oh god inho's gonna betray them isn't he. He's gonna vote for 0 i can already feel it

Edit: oh shit he didn't :0

But I'm sure he's gonna betray them in the end or something I CAN FEEL IT

Also, does anyone else feel like this season is too short?

I'm just gonna keep on editing this as I watch

Edit:

I KNEW SAILOR GUY WAS SUS

Gi-hun: "the guy in the black mask is their leader"

The guy in the black mask in front of him: 🙁

Ngl gi-hun's "sacrifice the others" plan doesn't sit well with me...

NOOO SHY BOY DIDN'T SAVE SE-MI i forgot his name

Well I'd be terrified too if I were there but idk I thought he'd jump in to save her or at least try.

I wonder what would've happened if they accidentally shot In-ho during the rebellion scene lol

OH HELL NO Gi-hun's saying his plan to get to the mastermind to kill him?? Isn't that reckless?? Especially since he's the dude he's been teammates with 😭😭😭

I genuinely don't know how he didn't get suspicious of 001

Also, I'm surprised there's no VIPs this time. With the sudden rebellion, I was curious how they'd react.

"Just buy me soju when we get out" its a date then? Ahahahhdhshshdks jk, Gi-hun won't be getting his toxic old man yaoi

HYUN-JU BEING BADASS YESS

The guards being kids is so messed up

Why did Jung-bae have to use the gun as a door stopper, i feel like that's gonna backfire at them later bruhh

Dear fcking god i hope hyun-ju doesn't die

Gi-hun buddy this revolution thing was very reckless of you TT

At some point, I was waiting for gi-hun and in-ho's dynamic to be like:

Gi-hun @ the guards with his gun: COME AT ME

In-ho, signalling the guards behind him: Don't.

Oh god, the mom told her son not to get involved in the shoot out and now he's grabbing the magazines. I feel like he's gonna die

OH MY GOD THE TENSION. Gi-hun offered his ammo to In-ho and he's like "ya sure bro"

Dude was trying to drop hints the whole time that you should rethink if you're gonna trust him but naaah

DAE-HO HURRY YOUR ASS BACK THERE

FUCK HE'S BACKING OUT

THE SON IS GONNA TAKE HIS PLACE ISN'T HE? AND THEN HE'LL DIE?

Well shit. There it is. The betrayal.

Ah shit. He got to finish killing them because Gi-hun gave his ammo to him :)

Hyun-ju pls just drop the gun oh god she's gonna die isn't she

Thank god the mom stopped her

In-ho wrapped things up asap so he could get a wardrobe change 😭

"Gotta make the betrayal extra dramatic so I can do an unmasking"

How does it feel to get bamboozled a second time, Gi-hun?

It's supposed to be painful but it's kinda funny

Oh ok nvm so he didn't unmask.

Why the cliffhanger tho? So they're gonna make squid game s3?

In-ho did that and what for? To show him his point? Isn't that too dramatic?

In-ho the whole time(?)

[paaaamsblog]

Me and Thee

(No spoilers)

It's a PondPhuwin story, 100%

After reading it twice, I can understand what the director, P'X, said about the characters choosing the actors. Thee and Peach's dynamics are very similar to Pond and Phuwin's dynamics in real life, and I'm really excited to see more of both of them in this universe.

Now, about the novel:

I loved it!

The novel is very series-y in how the story progresses. It's easy to understand why it was chosen to be adapted. It's a very light read. But it's lacking in the storytelling, with characters that appear and dissapear very quickly.

So, I hope that the series expands some of the subplots and characters' stories, like Peach and Wivit's beef and Aran and Tawan's relationship, but without taking the main couple screentime or development away.

(Based on the trailer, I can tell that very important things got changed and I really liked the changes that the director made. I'm really excited to see what more is going to be added.)

The relationship between Thee and Peach is what makes this story so special. The way Thee changes so he can be the perfect partner for Peach, and how he learns to put Peach's needs first, even if it's something that he doesn't like or agree with. For Peach, it's very touching how he learns to trust Thee and to accept his help.

Aside from the main couple, I really liked the other characters. Plub (Peach's younger sister) and Mok (Thee's bodyguard/secretary) are my favorites, of course, but I really enjoyed Tawan's story (even if he pissed me off so much).

Now, I'm going to talk about my favorite scenes from the novel with spoilers (stop reading if you don't want to be spoiled!)

I've decided to do a Top 5 of scenes and moments and it isn't in a particular order, because I can't decide wich one I like the mosThe chocolate confusion

The chocolate confusion

After meeting Aran and Peach, Thee decided to send some gifts to them through his secretary Mok.

To Aran, Thee sent a flower bouquet, but when Mok asked what type, Thee just said 'whatever'. But to Peach... Thee actually thought about the gift (dark chocolate, 90% cocoa). Mok was really surprised by this because Thee isn't a thoughful person when it comes to gifts, even whit his own family. With the chocolates, Thee sent a note (I'll leave it on you), but Peach got really confused (why would Thee send a gift to him?) and gave the chocolates to Aran

2. Chapter 15

After getting fired from Arseny's campaign, Peach isn't doing well, so Thee goes to check on him. Thee and Peach have a beautiful conversation about Peach allowing himself to accept help from Thee.

("I... I can really call you? If I do, you'll actually help me? I won't have to fight alone anymore? I won't have to be scared of that bastard's connections... I won't have to just take it?"

"You're mine. Isn't that connection enough?" His lips curled into a confident smirk, oozing authority as though he could command the world with just a flick of his fingers. "Even if the sky comes crashing down, I'Il help you carry it - or have my men do it instead.")

In this chapter, Peach allowed himself to be vulnerable for the first time in his life and ended up crying in front of Thee for 15 minutes. For me, Chapter 15 is really special and changes the relationship between Thee and Peach.

3. The plot between chapters 16-18

Everything that happens between these chapters is my favorite thing in the novel. Thee turns the lives of everybody in that company into a living hell to get Peach's back. And while Peach is at the beach, enjoying some deserved vccation, Thee is miserable and missing his favorite photographer.

The fact that he checks his phone all the time and sent 90 messages to Peach in two days drove crazy. It's important to note that they are not a couple here and not even friends!

4. The dinner

After the successfull campaign, Thee decided to surprise Peach with dinner to celebrate. But this backfires on him, because Peach already has plans.

It's really funny how all of this developed, because Peach doesn't want to cancel his plans, but in the end, he goes to have dinner with Thee. But he uses this whole dinner to teach Thee some things. And the way Thee does everything to make Peach not angry with him anymore... I laughed so much!

5. The drama

The drama doesn't appear for long in the story, but it was enough to make me anxious. It has a bit of miscommunication, with Peach listenning to a conversation between Aran and Thee about what Thee did to Tawan after he sent Peach to the hospital.

In the end, Thee and Peach talked about everything and started dating.

Whorthy mention:

Plub is a whole mood! I loved her and the way she was ready to sold his brother for free food.

Thee and Peach adopting two sibilings and having the most perfect family!

The whole Aran and Tawan's situation got me really sad. I liked their bittersweet ending.

[laismoura-art]

How about some avatar au for your atla fan heart.

Mortal Kombat avatar au with our ocs.

🌊🪨The avatar au 🔥🌪

Water tribe:

It's obviously the lin kuei but with bi-han being more of the master at water bending and kuai liang, Lisa making fun of him while he's practicing the other students.

Bi-han: what type of whining is this!? Back in my day we trained in the cold winter's at night and no matter how cold it got I never stopped training.

Lisa: yea you just cried and begged father to let you in-

Bi-han: YOUR CATCHING FISH TONIGHT!!

Kuai liang: I need jasmine tea, for this..

Earth kingdom:

The Edenians, special forces , harumi and Johnny and kenshi from the earth nation it's all out order and chaos maybe the umgadi could be like the dai lee.

Harumi: has the war really stopped in ba sing se?

Kenshi: I don't know if it's pretty peaceful there. Tanya do you know anything about it?

Tanya:*visibly sweating* um maybe..

Sindel:*the tea is exceptionally good today. I hope no fire nation are here.

*two fire nation run aways: yea.. It's fire nation free. Would you like some moon cakes with that?

Sindel: oh you know me so well.

Fire nation:

The netherrealm, suchin and the shirai ryu together being in the fire nation except they aren't demon's and such. The avatar is to be from the fire nation in the avatar cycle. People are expecting asmodeus to be the avatar and this got hatsune banished and settled with hanzo hasashi in the earth kingdom.

Asmodeus: make way for the avatar fire Lord people the strongest in the world

Sareena: is he always this much full of himself.

Jatakaa: careful you might get banished.

Suchin: ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS FULL OF YOURSELF!?

hatsune: hey master i made you some tea.

Hanzo: *drinks tea and spits it out* Ugh this tea is nothing but hot leaf juice!!

Hatsune: master hansi that's what all tea is..

Hanzo: how could my own apprentice say something like that!?

Air nomads:

The white lotus plus Raiden and fujin in the air nomads. Liu kang is a, fire nation adopted by raiden and learning air bending not knowing he is the actual avatar. Kung Lao is a air nation prodigy like Liu kang but kung Lao is, hoping to go through greater lengths and be the best air bending master in the world.

Kung Lao: geez I hope asmodeus isn't the avatar.

Liu kang: yea it's not like he'll cause a war if he isn't.

Kung Lao: say what would happen if you became the avatar?

Liu kang: I won't be the avatar and besides I am not that responsible he monk raiden never let's me feed the baby bisons.

Kung Lao: true, want to play air ball?

Liu kang: sure!!

Later

Liu kang:*avatar state after some shit asmodeus did*

Kung Lao:.... The world is either in peace or doomed....

Yoo Dragon!!! This looks sooo cool!!! :O 💖💖💖

Sorry it took me a while to reply, I actually wanted to gather and develop some ideas that came to mind! And it turned out ENOURMOUS!

So I hope you enjoy:

💦For the Water Tribe:

I was wondering, since this is the Lin Kuei, I imagine the previous chief was involved in some pretty shady stuff, imagine he even made a deal with the fire nation at some point in an attempt to hold some of his remaining power? Imagine if he even sent some of his men to war to fight by the Fire Nation? Of course his plans backfire (literally, lol) and he ends up dead and Bi-Han ends up as the new chief!

I imagine that after years of shitty decisions from the chief, this Water Tribe ended up a mess and on the brink of destruction, so Bi-Han took it upon himself to make things right and return the Tribe to its previous glory!

The only problem is: He is the youngest chief they ever had and he is painfully inexperienced! So he is hardly taken seriously. He also doesn't trust the elders of his Tribe, given how they didn't do much to prevent the previous chief to mess up, so he relies on the youth, his twin siblings and friends, Hydro, Cyrax and Smoke (he's still deciding if Sektor can be trusted, as he is related to the previous grandmaster)

Though Kuai and Lisa often tease Bi-Han (as siblings do) they are his big supporters and do everything they can to be good advisors! Bi-Han is happy to have them around, even if he has to hear a joke or two at his expense...

🌿For the Earth Kingdom:

I like that Harumi is part of the Earth Kingdom, and you know she's my flower girl, so I was thinking: What if she was originally a waterbender from the Swamp?

Imagine, she was born in the swamp and learned to waterbend the flora around her, when she grew up she wanted to leave to explore the world (or at least the Earth kingdom, she was particularly curious about Omashu and Ba Sing Se (surely none of these cities will disappoint her… lol))

Imagine if people sometimes mistake her for the Avatar cause she is a waterbender born in the Earth Kingdom, lol!

Also, I LOVED the idea of the Umgadi being the Dai Lee!

Imagine this: Li Mei was once a Dai Lee soldier who got promoted and then learned what the Dai Lee was actually like (means to conspire against the kingdom and manipulate the royal family) Li Mei couldn't stand to be part of it and tried to leave, reveal the truth, only to be taken to the Lake Laogai. It was years ago and now her memory is coming back, but she still struggles to show everyone the truth.

Lucky for her she's not alone! The young earthbender Tanya was promoted just as she was and upon finding out the truth, she also could not stand to be part of it (it also helped her decision the fact that she is secretly dating the Kingdom's elder princess, Millena), but instead of trying to expose the truth, she tries to stop the Dai Lee from the inside with the help of a few trusted teammates and Li Mei as their coordinator. Together, they will bring the Dai Lee down!

🔥For the Fire Nation:

Damn, your girl Hatsune just can't catch a break when it comes to her shitty brother, can she?

Well, at least she's with Hanzo! I imagine Hanzo was once a soldier, one really mean and scary, maybe? the type that would almost burn the Earth Kingdom's capital to the ground? But pulled back after say... a family tragedy?

So now he seeks a more peaceful life for himself, hidden in the Earth Kingdom and taking care of this fellow Fire Nation girl who was just so wronged by her own family? 

I wonder if Suchin is so confident in talking shit about Asmodeus cause she knows she's one of his top girls and the moment she leaves his side he will get killed! (Little he knows, Suchin and the girls would rather get the job done themselves, lol)

🍃For the Air Nomads:

Ok, I absolutely ADORED the idea of the Avatar being from a Nation but being raised in another one! Cause it's such a fun concept, like, Liu is raised by the Air Nomads and is taught to live by the air nomads beliefs and the first attempt at bending from him will be at air bending, and as the Avatar he WILL succeed, so just imagine how it would be for this kid who is a airbender through and through who will one day find out not only that he's the Avatar but also a firebender by birth! That would be a WHOLE LOT to take!

Through the dialogues I can see that Liu already knows he's a firebender and Avatar, but I wonder how he found out. The idea of this coming as a shock and a big reveal is just soooo cool!

Also makes me wonder when did Raiden learned all this, if he knew from the start, if he had some suspicions as Liu was growing up, or if he found out just as Liu did (My bet i on the second one)

PS: I love that whenever there's an Avatar x MK AU, Liu is ALWAYS the Avatar!🤭 I think it's suiting for the "Chosen One", lmao!

[bonny-kookoo]

Hi, if you're okay with it I'd like to request Jungkook somehow finding out about the part he played in the pudding incident (maybe overhearing them talking about it again or her mentioning it to Yoongis hybrid so she's more careful around him)...so he can finally punch him 🙃 sorry, but I just think he needs to get set straight to realize he can't keep doing stuff like that and just get away with it.

I really enjoy your writing btw, thank you for sharing your works!<3

The tension is high in the apartment, Jungkook breathing heavily as he's held back by Yoongi, who's clearly struggling to keep the youngest of the group in his hold. While yes, Jungkook is and will stay the maknae, he's grown up at this point, physically superior to a lot of the members at this point- Yoongi included. He's already landed a hit on his bandleader's face; its clear that the only reason he doesn't continue being you and Yoongi's hybrid a little further away, hugging each other for comfort at the sight of everyone being so on edge.

"I deserve that." Namjon nods, holding his jaw. He's lucky his bandmate couldn't really land a full on hit on his face, as Yoongi had been quick enough to react in time.

"Of course you fucking do!" Jungkook yells out. "You almost killed her! And as for his-" Jungkook looks at Yoongi next to him before his heated gaze returns to his leader. "-You almost got her taken by authorities! What if she had run on the streets, got hit by a car, huh?! Would that have made you happy?!" He barks.

"Absolutely not. I.. didn't know she'd react like that." Namjoon offers defeatedly. "The same with yours. I wasn't.. aware that there was such a high amount in there, if I did I wouldn't have done it." He tries to explain himself, looking over at the two hybrids a little further away. "I'm sorry. I hope you know that." He offers.

"You don't even have the right to look at her-" Jungkook starts again, but Yoongi chimes in now.

"Alright, let's calm down here." He says calmly. "What I'm failing to understand here, is just why?" Yoongi wonders, looking at his bandleader, who turns to the side again, watching both hybrids become more calm now. "You're not a bad person, Namjoon. Why do this then?" He asks, letting go of Jungkook now so he can go and comfort his own hybrid.

"In this industry.. it's best if you, you know, surround yourself with people who won't be taken away from you. Who won't leave you, you know." He simply explains, as both hybrids slowly begin to explore his home after he nods in approval once they look at him as if to ask. "It'll just.. I just wanted you to realize that you're playing with fire. Like water in your hands- it will drip out between your fingers at some point, no matter how hard you try." He says, walking to sit down on his couch.

It doesn't take long for both Idols to follow him, their hybrids close behind, sitting close to them. Everyone doesn't understand, still. It feels like there's more to it than the bandleader lets on. It's only when Yoongi's hybrid finds a worn-down tiger plushy on the edge of the couch, that Yoongi seems to understand-

simply from the hurt that flashes in his friend's eyes as he gently takes it away from her, to place it somewhere out of reach for both hybrids.

"You've had one yourself." Yoongi says, and Namjoon sighs. "What happened?"

"Management happened." His leader defeatedly explains. "I trusted them like.. Jungkook did. Told them about her. Explained how I'm taking care of her, how I'm planning to solve issues like tours, and so on." He shrugs. "But back then, they weren't so lenient. It backfired, simple as that." He says.

"Backfired how?" Jungkook asks now, realizing why his friend might've been so hostile especially towards him. He's got something he never had been granted- the freedom to bring his partner to work with him, to have them protected just as well as they are themselves.

"Told me they'd help with the tour stuff. That she'd be given into a carecenter for the duration, and the company would cover the costs even." He recalls the events. "It sounded great. Not perfect, obviously- but it was a solution I could work with. So I explained to her the night before we had to leave for tour, that she'd stay at the center just for a few weeks until the tour would be over."

"But they never gave her back." Yoongi finishes, and Namjoon nods, clenching his jaw.

"I came back home, and she wasn't there. I talked to management about when I'd be able to pick her up- and they just told me 'never.', that she's staying there, forever." He explains further, both hybrids clearly distressed at the story he's telling. "And when I tried myself to get her back somehow, I couldn't find her. Nothing. Not under her name, nor her ID. She's gone, because I trusted management to handle it." He says. "I don't want you to go through that. I don't.. I wanted to protect you. All of you." He says, now looking at the hybrids as well.

"You could've simply talked to us." Jungkook mumbles, pulling his hybrid onto his lap. "We could've just spoken about this like now."

"Would you have believed me?" Namjoon questions. "You would've simply thought 'oh, that will never happen to me!', and then move on." He chuckles dryly, Yoongi sighing.

"Oh man, this is one big mess." He shakes his head. "Now what do we do?" He asks, and Jungkook puts out his hand.

"I accept your apology." He offers, and Namjoon nods, shaking his friend's hand. "It's.. not okay, but I can understand it, in a way." He says.

"Same here, by the way." Yoongi nods.

"I'll try and help you protect them." Namjoon says, sternly so. "I don't want you to go through this, and I understood that I went at it from the wrong direction. I'm really sorry." He says, and everyone nods at that, Yoongis hybrid even doing so much as to reach out and hug him- Jungkook's soon to follow.

It does bring the bandleader to tears a little bit- but it also shows how truthful he meant his words.

And on the sidelines, both Jungkook and Yoongi already think of how to maybe help him.

[ryttu3k]

Posting a list of Astarion-related plotbunnies I'll probably never get to so I'm setting them loose upon the internet.

If you decide to write any of these please let me know, I'd love to read them <3

1) Cazador gets sick of waiting for Astarion, and also what fun is being the Vampire Ascendant if you don't have anyone to subjugate? As Dufay feared, he gets scarred and used in Astarion's place for the ritual, and Ascended Cazador shows up in the middle of a bright sunny day at the Elfsong to try and reclaim his errant spawn, easily overpowering basically everyone. Gale, who's in the midst of a sweet slowburn romance with Astarion, basically goes, okay, look, we're currently the only ones who have a hope to defeat the Netherbrain, and you won't be Vampire Ascendant for much longer if mind flayers take over Toril. Side with us against it, and we'll give you Astarion after.

He's lying through his teeth and is very quick to tell Astarion that as soon as Cazador leaves, because once he has the Crown of Karsus :) he'll be able to take Cazador out :) no problem :)

The real struggle isn't just fighting a desire for power, it's fighting against something that will permanently change him but also give him the best possible chance to save his lover, versus giving up that power and staying Gale Dekarios, not losing his identity, but also now having to fight the Vampire Ascendant without all that power...

2) Astarion stays in the Underdark to assist with the spawn, and ends up striking up a friendship with Gandrel, who wants Astarion's advice on how to raise his spawn daughters. Fluffy slow-burn romance with his former enemy ensues. Could tie in with this delightful epilogue detail.

3) Short version: Astarion tries to do A Scheme only it backfires due to the fact that he's starting to experience Emotions like 'self-worth'.

Longer version: Astarion sets out to deal with (read: seduce) Gortash - gives him Ketheric's stone, says the others have gone off to fight Orin and get [x] back, and it'll be easy enough to get Orin's stone from them once they've done the hard work, telling Gortash that the others lack ambition or have other plans. Lae'zel wants to give the Crown to Raphael to free Orpheus, Gale wants it for himself, etc. Only Astarion can see Gortash's point - that they can run the Absolute cult, they can use the stones. Gortash, Astarion, and a certain Bhaalspawn who Astarion is fairly certain would be amenable…

His actual plan is to seduce Gortash, kill him when he's not expecting it, and take the stone and return to the others, because he's good at seducing people for a purpose, so why not just do what he's best at? Except he's suddenly realising that, huh, he actually doesn't want to just… be used any more, he likes the person he's becoming with resist!Durge, and it all feels a bit… icky, now…

4) Astarion + trust issues + being touch-starved for non-intimate touch. Astarion gets some kind of back injury (thorns or little shards of glass or splinters or something, not something terribly lethal but just painful to deal with) and has to confide in someone (Halsin would be good here) and let them see and touch his scars to help get himself fixed up. Bit of whump, bit of hurt/comfort.

5) "Oh, I tried them all. None of them answered." Astarion has Issues with the gods. Gale catches him vandalising the Open Hand Temple / Stormshore Tabernacle, and they talk about gods and their fickle attentions.

6) Astarion can't swim. Karlach offers him and Shadowheart swimming lessons (and promptly goes heart-eyes a bit over her white-haired elven boyfriend and girlfriend).

7) AU where Ulder isn't a Complete Garbage Person who disowns his teenage son, and instead accepts and helps Wyll as much as he can. The Blade of Baldur's Gate instead focuses on helping his city, and it's time to do something about that creepy gothic monstrosity known as the Szarr Palace…

[overandundertarot]

Exam Period Tarot Reading

How's your exam period going to go? Lets take a look.

Pick a picture(1-4)

Pile 1

This exam period won't be as successful as you expect it to be. Regardless, by the time its over you'll be rejoicing and ready to crashland on your bed. At the beginning of this exam period/semester you may have had a lot of hope and ambition to give your 100% and receive your rewards in full, but it proved too much for you. You might not have reached the goal you had in mind, but you still did really well for yourself and should be very proud!!

Pile 2

Pile 2 are you intimidated by your course/ subject of study? You're giving off very timid energy. You might be looking for some help and are scared to reach out; just do it. It seems that everyone is busy right now and you fear no one has time available for you, or you are the one who is helping everyone else without having taken time to prepare yourself. Either way; the message for you is to keep trying and take a strategic approach; work smarter not harder. Something may happen this exam period that you perceive to be out of your control. Something that may make you say "Just my luck," or "Why does this keep happening to me." Be aware of being naive concerning other peoples motives; just because you wouldn't doesnt mean that someone else won't as well. Be careful of exam malparactice, it will backfire for you.

Pile 3

Pile 3 you're tiiiiiiirrrreeeeddddd. This exam period/semester has absolutely drained you. You may be wondering what it's all for; if it's really worth it. It seems that you're quite burnt out and even depressed. School has taken a huge toll on your mental health and this exam period just adds on to that. It may be the straw that breaks the camels back. Try to reach out and get help if you can; talk to your friends/therapist. It seems like the general advice of taking short breaks/taking careof yourself is not enough to solve this. Strong message is to seek help while you still can to make it easier/better for your future self.

Pile 4

Are you planning to cheat during your exams, pile 4? 👀 You're super smart, but this might make you lazy about the exam preparations. Honestly your mind is elsewhere, you may be trying to gain a leadership position in school . You are abusing your power in some way though and the funny thing is that it's completely unecessary. Are you trying to prove a point to someone? You could be acheiving whatever it is that you want to achive without going so far, but it gives you self satisfaction to have this control. Ease up and separate yourself from the situation. You may acting without really knowing why you do the things you are doing. I'm sensing that you are quite closed off as well. The origin of all this is not related to school; it only got tangled up in this along the way but became an important part. The message is to start working through your trauma/ emotions/ needs. There's something in the shadows you're trying to suppress. Working through this will bring you so much satisfaction and peace.

Thanks for participating in my pick a card reading! If you would like to book a private reading with me; you can do so here.

*The pictures are not mine, I found them on pinterest.

[sebstanaddict]

Love Song

Sebastian Stan x Female Reader Story

Chapter 18 - Go

Summary : A romantic comedy story between Sebastian Stan and female reader where we witness their journey after they said I do.

After a hard and unexpected honeymoon, reader and Sebastian finally goes back home to New York. But all their hopes of getting some peace and calm are squashed as they are still the hottest gossip the whole world is talking about. All the things that have been happening since their wedding bogged down in reader's heart and made her decide to do the hardest thing in her life. Will she successfully go through with her plan?

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters : 18/21 (might add more)

Chapter List >

Warning : Death, grief, loss of mother, death during childbirth, divorce and separation mention

Word count : 6.3k

This is a sequel to my first Sebastian fic Always You. If you want to understand more about Sebastian's and reader's relationship, please read it first. But it's not necessary to understand this story. Check it here.

---

For all the love we've made

Just one thing stays the same

The lamp gets dusty

The pipes get rusty

But I don't want to wash my hands clean

You say you love me too

Then why won't you go through

With the nightly kisses

With the hits and the misses

If you can make it on your own then

Go if you want to go

But stay if you want to know

The way through the mess we've made

And lie in a bed you know

Or go

I heard your moving van

But I didn't take a stand

You can't leave with them

You can't live without them

I never thought I'd want to let you

Go if you want to go

But stay if you want to know

The way through the mess we've made

And lie in a bed you know

Or go

Go - Hanson

A/N : this song is sung by Zac Hanson, the real man that inspired Y/n's ex in this story. Just a fun fact 😁

---

Soho, New York - May 29th 2023 - 2 pm

"Yes, it was all just a misunderstanding. We're not cheating on each other. We're happier than ever. Right, honey?" Sebastian turned to look at her, smiled wide, put his arms around her shoulders and squeezed her tight.

"Oh.. yeah. That's right. We couldn't be happier." She said, startled at Sebastian's sudden gesture towards her. She quickly regained her composure and gave the interviewer a smile that didn't reach her eyes. 

Happy ever after. That was all anyone who got married thought that they would get once they exchanged their vows and said 'I do'. But she was sure anyone who got married didn't anticipate how hard it was to maintain a marriage. Well, at least she didn't.

Love. The sacred word everyone longs for. The word that some say was the reason God created the world and all of His creations. God's Love - infuses every being in the universe and makes sure every being thrives, survives, and continues to spread across the universe. How powerful the word is. How powerful the word should be and that was what she thought too.

She thought love was enough to keep two people in a marriage. But she realized how so naive she was.

The moment their plane touched the landing in New York several days ago instead of feeling glad and happy to be back, she felt a sinking dread in her stomach. The pap walk she did with Sebastian seemed to backfire at them. Instead of it clearing their image, it distorted their image even further with the image of the girl dumping an egg on her head spread around the world like wildfire. 

As she had suspected, they were bombarded again by paparazzis at the New York JFK airport. Some of the paparazzis even followed them to their apartment, hoping to get more pictures and footage of them after the embarrassing event in Rome.

For several days they could barely get out of their apartment without being bombarded and followed by them. Seeing that fact and how they had gotten a lot of pressure from Sebastian's PR team, they finally agreed on giving an interview to the press to clarify everything.

"Any comment on the charges a paparazzi has on you over what happened in Paris?" The interviewer, who was a beautiful woman in her thirties, turned to Sebastian.

"I just want to say that I did what every husband would do to protect their wife. I'm sure you've seen the footage. You've heard what he said to my wife? Right?!" Sebastian asked, releasing his hold on Y/n, his voice raised a little.

"Yes.. yes.. he called you.. excuse me.. a sl*t?" The interviewer asked, turning to Y/n.

She just nodded, avoiding the gaze of the interviewer. Not sure how else to respond.

"Yes. So, you see. I don't know what his problem is. It's not like I go around punching people in the face for fun. He deserved what he got." Sebastian said in a stern voice.

"I see. So, what's next for you Sebastian? There are rumors that Marvel thought about replacing you with someone else as Bucky for Thunderbolts. Can you share something about that?"

"The rumors are unfortunately true. But everything has been cleared up between Marvel and me and I'm still going to play Bucky. In fact, I will be leaving for Atlanta on June 1st." Sebastian responded.

As Sebastian and the interviewer continued to talk, Y/n's mind wandered back to yesterday, to the moment she finally decided to do what she needed to do later on today, or maybe tomorrow, depending on how resolute her heart is on the matter.

Her heart ached as she remembered it. She couldn't believe that she could act so well and play along with being fine in their marriage while in her mind their marriage was at the brink of sinking. 

After days of being stalked by paparazzis in their apartment and feeling frustrated and suffocated that she couldn't yet feel normal in her own home, she finally found an opportunity to slip out and get her mind cleared, right when the paparazzis were finally away from standing around in front of their apartment. They were probably away having lunch. She had thought.

She told Sebastian that she needed to visit her mother's grave. She had not visited her in a while and she missed her terribly. Sebastian had wanted to accompany her but she insisted on going alone. Besides, going with him would just attract people's attention. Just as they had experienced for several days. In the end he finally agreed and she left both Sebastian and Starlene back at the apartment while she went to New Brunswick, New Jersey - where her mother was buried - alone.

She laid down the bouquet of flowers she had bought earlier on top of her mother's grave and knelt down, her fingers traced her mother's name on the tombstone.

Y/M/F/N Y/M/L/N

1953 - 2016

Mother, wife and most of all, an amazing woman

Tears fell from her eyes as she read the writings on the tombstone. 

Mom, I miss you so much. 

She sobbed and couldn't help but sink down onto her mother's grave on all fours. 

Her mother would know what to do and what to say to her during times like these. She had successfully hid the turmoil in her heart from Sebastian for several days. But it all came out on her mother's grave that day. All the confusion and negative thoughts surrounding her mind regarding her marriage to Sebastian overtook her heart and mind and all she could feel was ache and pain. Her heart felt like it broke into a thousand pieces as she contemplated on doing what she wanted to do to their marriage. 

She never thought she would think about it. But, after all that had happened, she felt she should put herself first and foremost. She should prioritize herself. She was tired of sacrificing herself for Sebastian, no matter how much she loved him. And the more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that they just weren't meant to be. 

Right after they got back, she thought he was going to be more attentive towards her. Especially after what happened in Rome. But it took him only one day to fall back into his workaholic self. 

Apparently, the whole fiasco of him having punched the paparazzi had attracted Ric Flair's attention. He had asked to meet Sebastian, especially since Sebastian was going to play him in his biopic. Sebastian had asked her to come with him but she was still feeling tired and wary of being in the public eye. Especially since Ric was planning on calling on the paparazzis for their meeting. So in the end she didn't come with him.

After that he was busy going to the gym everyday as he prepared to play Bucky. He was also mostly focusing on learning his lines for Thunderbolts throughout the day, so that he barely had time to help her taking care of Starlene and Lucky. She couldn't help but feel neglected again.

She understood that he needed to prepare for Thunderbolts. But she was hoping that he would be more attentive and helpful towards her. Of course, she couldn't expect him to change overnight. His job had always been number one for him. She should've known that after knowing him for 22 years. But she couldn't help but feel annoyed at his behavior. Especially since they were going to be separated again in several days.

Yes, despite everything that had happened, they had decided to separate again during the filming of Thunderbolts. Having Starlene on set really was a distraction to everyone. And she wouldn't be able to get any help over in Atlanta to take care of Starlene while in New York she could ask for his mother's help or Shannon's. He had requested to Marvel so they would allow him to go back to New York every month, just for a weekend, and thankfully they allowed him. So they could still see each other regularly throughout the whole five months of shooting.

Everything seemed to be okay on the surface. But deep in her heart this was not what she wanted.

"Never settle for just anyone, my dear. If a man truly loves you, he would move mountains for you. He would sacrifice everything for you. He would do whatever it takes to make you happy, and he would always be honest with you. Remember that, my dear. Find someone who loves you as much as I love you." 

She remembered her mother's words on her deathbed 7 years ago. Tears continued to fall freely from her eyes as she remembered how her mother had touched her cheek gently after saying those words, and how those words were the last words she ever heard from her ever again.

She knew she wasn't just settling for anyone. Sebastian was the love of her life, and she was his. But the kind of life that he led was just not what she wanted. She felt she had sacrificed so much for him and got nothing back in return except embarrassment and anxiety. It was all too much.

She couldn't imagine being happy staying back home while he went out of town to shoot movies all over the world. She couldn't imagine the jealousy she would inevitably feel towards his co-stars, no matter how many times he would assure her that he would never cheat on her. She trusted him but she couldn't trust herself not to feel those feelings of jealousy. Moreover, the fact that they could both lie to each other so easily still bothered her. And something in her gut told her that he still hides something from her. Not to mention all the hate she got from his fans. It was like the trigger that finally pushed her towards the edge and broke her, more than anything else.

Her mind wandered back again to everything that had happened since they got married. How terrible things turned out for them. Maybe those superstitions were true. She finally concluded. And if those superstitions were true, there was only one possible outcome of their marriage.

The thought stung her heart again and she wept and wept. 

"Y/n?" a gentle male voice suddenly sounded in her ears.

She stopped crying immediately and wiped the tears from her eyes and nose with her sleeves. Feeling utterly embarrassed at whoever it was that caught her crying in the middle of the grave.

She looked up and saw familiar bright blue eyes. The owner of the eyes smiled at her. Showing dimples on his cheek.

"Michael?!" She exclaimed in surprise. 

"Oh, it's really you, Y/n! Oh my God, how are you?" Michael asked, kneeling down beside her and embraced her tight.

"Uh.. yeah.. hi Michael." She said awkwardly as she hugged him back.

What were the odds of her meeting another one of her ex at this moment? She thought in disbelief. But then again, Michael did live in New Brunswick, so it wasn't entirely impossible.

"It seems you're not okay." Michael said, his face looked at her in concern as he released her from his embrace.

"No. I've been better." She sighed.

"Oh yeah. I.. uh.. I saw what happened between you and Sebastian in the news. It must have been so hard on you." He said.

"It is.. yeah." She nodded and she stood up slowly.

"Well.. if you need anyone to talk to." He said, standing up as well and smiling warmly at her.

"Uh.. thanks Michael. I'm okay. I was just.. remembering my mom." She sniffled. Pouring her heart out to her ex really wasn't the best idea, she realized that.

"Oh yeah, of course." He nodded. 

She looked down and noticed he held a bouquet of flowers.

"I was about to visit my late wife's grave." He smiled.

Late wife?! She thought in shock.

"Oh.. I'm sorry Michael. I didn't know." She said, reaching out to touch his hand and squeezed it.

"Well yeah, we lost contact years ago. Of course you didn't know." He shrugged.

"I.. yeah. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I realize I wasn't the best boyfriend for you. So.. anyway, maybe you'd like to come with me and 'meet' my late wife? I'm sure you both would've gotten along well if you knew her." He smiled with a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Oh sure." She nodded.

"Bye mom. I'll come again soon." She said, putting her fingers on her lips then putting her hand on her mother's tombstone. She sighed and turned around to find Michael looking at her sadly.

"Shall we?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure." She nodded.

He continued to walk and after passing rows of rows of tombstones he finally stopped.

"Well Y/n, meet Stacey, my late wife." He smiled wistfully as he put the bouquet of flowers in his hand on top of Stacey's grave.

"Hi Stacey." She said gently as she looked down on Stacey's tombstone. She looked at her birth and death year and was startled to learn that Stacey was only 30 years old when she died. It must have been so hard on Michael, her heart broke for him.

"Michael, I'm sorry. Do you mind telling me how she died?" She asked gently.

"She died during childbirth." He sighed. She didn't think she could feel even more sorry for him but she did.

"Oh.. I'm really sorry, Michael." She said as she put her hand on his arm gently.

"She died giving birth to two of the most beautiful girls in the world. My twin daughters, Michelle and Lily." He smiled but she could see his eyes watered a little.

"Oh, you have twin daughters? That's amazing." She smiled.

"Yeah. They're the best thing that ever happened to me." He smiled.

"Yeah, I couldn't agree more." She said, remembering Starlene back home.

"Where are they?" She asked.

"Oh, they're at ballet practice. They have a recital coming up in two weeks." 

"That sounds amazing!"

"Yeah. You know they're only 9 years old but they play Odette and Odille in Swan Lake already." He chuckled.

"Oh wow! They must be very good!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah, would you believe they started ballet when they were only 3." He said with pride in his voice.

"You must be so proud of them." She smiled.

"I am. Yeah." He nodded. He pulled out his cellphone and swiped on it. After some time he showed her a picture of him and his daughters. Both had long blonde hair and a cute smile, with eyes as bright as his. She couldn't help but feel touched looking at them.

He continued to show pictures of his daughters, from when they were just born up until they were in elementary school. He really was there for them. He was there during their kindergarten graduation, soccer practice, musicals, and their ballet recitals of course. There were also many pictures of them on vacation together. Just the three of them. Never in a million years she thought Michael would ever be a good dad. But here he was, having two beautiful little girls. And he brought them up all by himself. She couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and pride at him. 

"Anyway, I have to get going. They'll be finished soon." He said, putting his cellphone back in his pocket. 

"Oh yeah, of course." She nodded.

"Do you.. maybe want to meet them?" He asked slowly.

"Oh! I.. uh.." She pondered on what to do. The last time she went out with her ex things didn't end well. So she was really hesitant to do it.

"If you don't want to it's okay. I completely understand. You're kind of famous these days." He chuckled.

She sighed in defeat. "Yeah.. I'm sorry Michael. As much as I would love to meet your daughters, it's just not a good idea right now."

"I know." He smiled, understanding in his eyes.

"Well, maybe we can meet again next time you're around? And with Sebastian too of course." He said.

"Yeah.. maybe.." She said, feeling the ache again in her heart again as she remembered Sebastian.

"Okay. Well, see you around, Y/n. Take care of yourself." He smiled and nodded.

"See you around, Michael. You take care too." She smiled back.

He turned around and walked away, leaving her feeling a slight amazement at how things turned out for Michael. She never thought he would be a dad, ever, with him being so selfish. But, people changed it seemed. And she was happy that Michael turned out okay. 

He was clearly single and that made her think. He could definitely be a good dad to Starlene.

She quickly stopped herself at that thought and grimaced. 

Was she seriously thinking of going back with Michael and leaving Sebastian? What was wrong with her?

Sebastian's face came to her mind and her heart ached again. The love she felt for him was still there. But also all the anxiety and the feeling of unease and distrust.

All the things that had happened since their wedding came back to her mind like a freight train. Her heart felt heavy. But in order to survive she needed to do this. She hoped one day Sebastian would forgive her and accepted her decision. No matter how hard and heartbreaking it was.

"Honey? Are you okay?" She felt her hand being touched gently.

The voice brought her back to the present day with full force.

She blinked and turned to look at Sebastian, who was looking at her full with concern.

"I.. I'm sorry. What was the question again?" She asked, turning to look at the interviewer.

"I was just asking how are you dealing with all the hate you get from Sebastian's fans." The interviewer said.

"Oh. I.. well. I try to put myself in their shoes. Although it's very hard, of course. But I could somehow understand them. So, yeah. There's no hard feelings from me to them. It was all a giant misunderstanding." She smiled although once again her smile didn't reach her eyes.

She could feel her hand being squeezed by Sebastian and she turned to look at him. He stared at her as if the world laid under her feet and it made her heart skip a beat.

How could she still feel like this towards him after all that she had decided? She started to wonder if she could go through with what she needed to do. Or will she fall into his arms again and just forget everything and be under his mercy again.

"Thank you so much to you both for giving us your time." The interviewer said, smiling at them both.

"Of course. Thank you for being here. We really appreciate it." Sebastian smiled back.

They shook hands and soon the interviewer and the whole camera crew left their apartment. Leaving them to deal with reality again. At least for her because it seemed to Sebastian everything was perfect.

As soon as the interviewer and her crew went out the door, Sebastian approached her and gave her a tight hug.

"Thank you so much, honey. You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for me." He said, placing his chin on her head.

She took a deep breath and filled her lungs with his familiar scent. For the last time. She thought wistfully. 

"You're welcome, Seb." She said.

Sebastian released her from his embrace and looked down with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Sweetheart, is something wrong?" 

"Umm.. yes actually. I.. I need to talk to you." She said, pulling his hand gently and guided him to sit on the sofa.

"Honey, you're scaring me. What's going on?" He asked as soon as he sat on the sofa.

She gazed at his beautiful ocean blue eyes and felt the ache again in her heart. Never will she be able to look at him like this again. He would most likely hate her forever for doing this. But she had to do it. For her own sake.

"I.. " she looked down and fiddled with her fingers. She couldn't look at him while saying this.

"First of all, I'm really sorry for what I'm about to say. It's not you. Well.. it's you but it's mostly me. So.."

"Honey, what are you on about?" He asked, his voice started to sound agitated.

She looked up and decided to just say it. Like pulling on a band aid. The faster she did it, the faster the pain would go away even though it would hurt like hell when she pulled it.

"I.. I want a divorce, Seb." She said slowly.

Sebastian didn't answer right away. She stared at him and all she could see was the shock on his face. He looked like he was just hit by a car.

"Y/n.. don't play games with me." He finally responded, his voice shook.

"I'm not. I have thought about this a lot ever since we came back. I.. this isn't the life that I want, Seb. As much as I love you, I'm just not happy." She said with a slight tremble in her voice.

"You're not happy? Tell me what I did wrong. I can fix it! Just.. just don't give up on us, Y/n!" He reached out his hands to hers, squeezing them tight.

"Everything is just wrong, Seb. I'm.. I'm sorry.." She said, releasing her hands from his and stood up as tears started to fall from her eyes.

She started to pace the room as her brain tried to put together what she had wanted to say to him.

"Is it the fans? You can't deal with the hate from them?" He asked, looking up at her with anxiety in his eyes.

"It's not the fans, Seb." She sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Then what is it? What did I do wrong?" He asked, utter confusion written on his face.

"Seb.. I just feel we both want different things. And I don't see any of us giving up and sacrifice ourselves for the other."

"What do you want Y/n? You know if I can, I can give you the moon. Just please.. please don't go." He stood up and approached her, holding both her hands in his again. His voice trembled and tears started to fall from his eyes, prompting her to cry too.

"Oh, Seb." She sobbed and he reached out and embraced her tight.

"Tell me what you want, honey. I'll give it to you. I promise, I will." He said, his voice shook as he rubbed her back gently.

She sniffled and let herself go from his embrace.

"I'm not sure you can give it to me, Seb." She said slowly, looking up at him and placed her hand gently on his cheek.

"Try me. I love you so much Y/n.. You know I would do anything for you." He said, cupping his hands on the sides of her face, gazing at her with fear and anxiety in his eyes.

She gazed back at him, watching the turmoil behind his beautiful blue eyes, contemplating on what to say to him. 

"I want you.. to stop.. being an actor." She finally said slowly. 

Sebastian's eyes widened in shock.

"What?!" He dropped his hands from her face and stared at her in disbelief.

"I know you can't do that." She smiled wistfully.

"Y/n.. it's my job. I can't give it up!" He said, his voice raised a little.

"I know. That's why I said, I'm not sure you can give it to me." 

"Y/n.. I.. I can give you anything else but that. I'm sure we can work something out. Please.. please.. honey. If you want me to work less in a year then I'll do that." He pleaded.

"Seb, I want you to be there for me and for Starlene for a whole year onwards. You were barely there during our honeymoon. I'm not sure you can be there for us going forward if you're still an actor. I'm sorry." 

"Sweetheart, I promise I'll be there for you and Starlene. I mean, for Thunderbolts I'm going to come back home every month. Then after this I know there's that Ric Flair biopic. But Steven's a nice guy, I'm sure we can work something out. Just.. Y/n.. give us a chance. I.. I don't know if I can live without you." His voice shook and he started to cry again.

She knew this was coming. She knew he wasn't going to give their marriage up so easily. So it was time to put out her deadliest weapon. Something she hoped she didn't have to use because the damage it would bring to their relationship would be so immense that he wouldn't have a choice but to let her go. She hated having to use it. But in her mind that was the only logical thing to do. For her own survival.

"Seb.. I'm sorry but.. Zac kissed me." She said slowly. Every word left her mouth as if each was a bullet and shot his heart. She could clearly see the pain on his face as she said those damaging words.

"What?!" He exclaimed out loud. He wiped the tears from his eyes as anger started to color his face.

"Zac.. he.. when you were in Cannes, he came up to our hotel room and asked to meet me. At first he just said he wanted to give Starlene a good bye present. But then he admitted that he still had feelings for me and he.. he kissed me." She explained, studying his face carefully. Wondering if it was working. If he was going to let her go.

"That son of a b***h!" He cursed and he started to pace the room, brushing his hair in agitation.

"Did you kiss him back?" He asked, stopping to look at her with fear in his eyes.

"I.. I was shocked, Seb. So I didn't push him away at first. But I didn't kiss him back." She answered and she could see relief in his eyes.

"Okay.. okay." He nodded, making her confused.

"Seb.. are you okay with this?" She asked.

"No, obviously not. But.. Y/n. I.. um.. " he took a deep breath and sighed.

"What is it, Seb? Now you're scaring me." She said, wondering what was on his mind.

"Come here and sit down, Y/n." He said as he walked back towards the sofa and gesturing for her to sit on it.

She obliged and he sat across from her. Her heart pounded hard in her chest, wondering what he had to say. 

"I'm sorry honey, I really am. But.. the night I met Stephanie during my Bachelor's party, something happened between us." He said and her heart dropped to her stomach. 

"What?!" This really wasn't what she expected him to say.

"She.. she kissed me, Y/n." He finally revealed, making her feel a ton of bricks had fallen on her head.

"What?! And you didn't tell me all this time?!" She asked, anger started to creep into her heart.

Her gut feeling was right, he had been hiding something from her all this time!

"I'm.. I'm sorry Y/n. I just didn't want to hurt you." He said, his face fell.

She sighed. The universe really liked to play games with them. How could they both hide the exact same thing from each other? It was mind boggling.

"Did you kiss her back?" She asked as she prepared for the worse.

"No, of course not." He shook his head vigorously.

"Did anything else happen between you?" She asked, dreading what his answer would be.

"I.. I hugged her, Y/n. On the bed. At the hotel in Cannes. She was being suicidal, telling me that she thought it was better that she died. She scared me. I just wanted her to feel better. She asked if I could hug her, so I did. I'm sorry. And.. that was actually the reason I went out of the room. I didn't want anything else to happen between us." He explained.

She couldn't wrap her mind around it. He had been hiding this from her all this time just like she had been hiding the kiss from Zac?!

"Do you.. do you still have feelings for her?" She asked slowly, her bottom lip trembled as she tried hard not to cry.

"Oh God, of course not, honey!" He said and he reached out to take her hand in his, staring at her with pleading eyes.

"Are you still in contact with her? You said you wanted to help her find a job."

"No." He shook his head. "She said it was better that she was out of my life. And I couldn't agree more."

She sighed and felt relieved at his answer. But she was still hurt that he would lie to her about it. She knew she was being unfair because she herself lied to him. But the fact still hurt her.

"Why didn't you tell me this, Seb? I asked you if anything happened between you and her back in Paris and you didn't tell me!" She protested.

"Well look who's talking. You didn't tell me Zac kissed you either!" He yelled.

Great. This was what she wanted. She knew she was going to hurt him but she didn't know that he was going to hurt her too.

"I didn't tell you because you're so jealous of him! And I.. I didn't want to hurt you either." She explained.

"Well look at where we are now. Both hurt. All because you want so much attention from me." He spat.

"Seb?! I'm asking what a woman would normally ask her husband!" She protested, feeling angry at the audacity of him saying that to her.

"A wife wouldn't ask his husband to change a job he loves so much." He said with hatred.

"Well a husband should realize that his wife had sacrificed so much and all she wanted was just his God d**n help around the house but all he does is f*****g work! He can't even leave his work during their honeymoon!" 

"Oh you're going to play that card with me over and over again are you?!" 

"Yes cause it just seems like you don't get it!" She yelled. Her chest heaving in anger.

"But I have a movie to shoot in several days Y/n! I need to come prepared!" 

"Yes.. your job is always number one for you, isn't it?! Nothing else matters for you but your f*****g job!"

"That's not true! You, Starlene, my mom. You guys are everything to me."

"Then give up your job, Seb. Choose me or your job!" She yelled. 

They stared at each other, both sets of eyes seething with anger.

Her heart pounded hard in her chest as she waited for his answer. Moments went by and he just stared back at her with anger in his eyes.

She did it. He was going to let her go after all. His job really was more important to him than her. The realization hit her like a freight train and she felt her heart crushed again and again. 

In her twisted mind she knew she had won. But she didn't expect it to be so painful. She didn't expect it to open so many rotting secrets between them. So she stood up and quickly left the living room and went to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her, knowing the breakdown that she surely was going to experience.

She heard the front door was slammed shut and realized Sebastian must have gone out. All hopes of him crawling back to her gone in an instant. 

The realization crushed her yet again and she fell down on the bed and cried hard as the grief of losing the love of her life overcame her like a wave.

---

Soho, New York - May 31st 2023 - 10 am

"Do you have everything?" Sebastian asked, looking at her from the bedroom door, his face stone like, unreadable to her. He had Starlene in his arms.

"Yeah." She zipped her suitcase close and stood up.

After the world war broke between them they spent the nights sleeping separately. She slept in the bedroom while he slept on the couch in the living room. They barely talked to each other except saying necessary things.

The day after their fight she decided to leave New York and go to California where her father was. The paparazzis were still stalking their apartment despite the interview that they had done. It seemed they had sixth sense about the scandal that they really were in and they wouldn't leave them alone. So she decided to leave. She couldn't bear staying in New York while Sebastian was gone to Atlanta with those paparazzis still camping in front of their apartment. Besides, the status of their relationship was still unclear. She did ask for divorce but he hadn't exactly agreed on it. 

"A break." He finally said the day she told him she was going to California. 

"Let's have a break for now." He said and she couldn't agree more. 

So there she was on that fateful Wednesday morning, getting ready to leave her husband on a break.

She picked up her handbag, slung it around her shoulders and walked towards him. She picked Starlene up from his hold, finding him a little resistant on giving her up.

"Let me hold her longer." He said, holding on to Starlene, sadness in his eyes.

"Okay." She let Starlene go and felt the sadness too in her heart.

She turned around and picked up Starlene's diaper bag and pulled her suitcase towards the bedroom door.

"You be a good girl to your mommy, okay Starlene? I will see you soon. Okay? I'm gonna miss you so much my darling, little star." He said, gazing at his daughter's innocent face with love and sadness in his eyes.

Starlene put her hand up on his cheek and said "Da-da."

Her heart seemed to stop in her chest as she listened to her. After all this time Starlene finally called him 'Da-da'! On the day they were leaving him?! She shook her head in disbelief. 

"Oh my God! Starlene! Say that again!" Sebastian exclaimed excitedly.

"Da-da.. Da-da.. " Starlene giggled.

"Yes! That's it my darling little star! I'm your Da-da!" He said, kissing Starlene's cheeks noisily, making her giggle even more.

Oh Starlene.. how was she able to leave him like this?

"Did you hear what she said?" He asked, looking at her still with excitement on his face.

"Yeah.. I did, Seb." She smiled wistfully.

"Is there anyway you could change your mind?" He asked with hope in his eyes.

"Seb.. what's the use? You're leaving to Atlanta anyway tomorrow. We're still going to be separated." She protested.

"Well.. yeah. But maybe you could come with me to Atlanta? We can somehow make it work. I know we can." He pleaded.

"Seb.. I.. " she said, not sure what to say. As much as she wanted them to be together again, she really needed the break.

"I love you." He blurted out and she couldn't help but smiled wistfully at him.

"Love is not enough, Seb." She said slowly.

His face fell and it broke her heart. But she needed to do this.

"Okay. Then go. But remember that I love you. I said I love you no matter what happens. And that's the truth." He said, gazing at her with love and sadness in his eyes.

She took a deep breath and let it go.

"I love you too, Seb."

And with that he immediately pulled her to him and kissed her fiercely, startling her.

He kissed her with so much passion and desperation that she felt she was going to drown in him. There was nothing more than she would love than to let go and just sink into his love. But she knew it was premature.

"Seb.. " she said, pushing him away gently.

"Y/n.." he said breathlessly.

"Would you quit being an actor for me?" She asked slowly.

He didn't answer right away and that was all she needed to make her decision more resolute.

She pushed him away and dragged her suitcase with her as she walked towards the front door. Sebastian followed her quietly.

"I'm sorry.. Y/n.." he said as they reached the front door.

"I'm sorry too, Seb." She said in regret.

All the way to the airport they were silent in the taxi they were in. More than once she contemplated on just giving up and follow him to Atlanta. But she knew she needed to do this. She needed to be away from him and gain more perspective. Besides, she missed her father too. So as hard and painful as it was, she stuck by her decision.

They finally arrived at the airport and she stopped right before the entrance to the departure area. 

"I guess this is it." She said, looking up at him sadly.

"I guess." He said, his voice trembled a little.

She picked Starlene up from his arms and quickly turned around. Unsure if she could go through with it if she stared at him longer.

Before she could walk very far she felt his warm hand on her arm, prompting her to turn around.

"I love you." He said gently, his beautiful ocean blue eyes gazed at her. She could see a mixture of love and sadness in the depths of his eyes.

She felt her eyes prickled at the sight of him. Knowing what was coming, she just nodded and smiled, not daring to say it back. Then she turned around just as a tear dropped from her eyes.

She blinked several times to stop herself from crying. Then she lifted her chin up and walked towards the departure area with a big gaping hole in her chest and a feeling like she had left part of her soul behind.

Chapter 19 >

Taglist

@sebsgirl71479 @dhoruwolfie