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#i hope this one will be easier bc i think i have more to say abt how my skills and interests align w the job
ronanlynchbf · 2 months
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and then an overwhelming sense of dread apear.
#finished my last exam for this year YAY YIPPEE YAHOO ETC. but also now we wait for if i pass or not DREAD FEAR WARINESS ETC.#which i rlly don't think i will like. did not feel good abt the 1st exam period felt worse abt the 2nd and this one is like.....idk idk...#pretty confident abt the books part of the exam bc i KNOW i got everything on that correct but the thing is it was an oral exam and i was#stumbling over my words so bad + my voice was quivering i could hear it. hoping they don't count that as minus points but for the speech#thing i also had to do 2day they DO include how your voice sounds when you speak and like stammering and such in the final point count so#like. what if it's the same there.....ALSO they include use of gesturing to emphasize what you're saying and CORRECT EYE CONTACT in the#final point count. which. i don't have a problem with gesturing & i had a piece of paper in my hands so at least i wasn't too bad on that#front but when it comes to eye contact it's only flitting eyes or unnerving stare with me and nothing in between so i'm completely fucked i#that regard.#r.txt#WHATEVER it's done now. stupid ass weird rules WHO CARES if i don't have correct usage of eye contact what even is correct usage of eye#contact?????? like HOW am i supposed to know what the quote correct amount unquote is man. ALSO WHO GIVE A SHIT.#anyway going 2 luxembourg with my family for two weeks on august 5th probably. maybe sooner maybe later. we're going hiking + camping ⛺🌲👣#but the hiking is mostly done without backpacks and the camping is gonna be in campings. camping places. however english calls it.#which is a little less fun but also easier. but also less fun. but ANYWAY we're going on vacation and my final exam is done so no more#stress 💪🥳🙏🗣💥‼ (<- guy who's SO gonna be still having stress until the results come in. and then some afterwards. yay 4 me 🙂👍)
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piplupod · 3 months
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so there's a trans woman who goes to the centre and everyone calls her by her birthname which she is like... fine with but only because she has no choice but to be fine about it. anyways I've known her for a while through a trans group before the centre so I asked her today if she'd rather I call her by her birthname or her chosen name and she said she prefers her chosen name but I can call her by her birthname if I want and oh my god I was about to cry for her bc god I really feel that whole situation fjdkdl, I just told her "no I WANT to call you by the name you prefer, that's why I'm asking, I want to make sure it's safe for you if I call you [preferred name]" and she seemed so grateful and I'm just :') eeurrgghh i hate how we have to be grateful with crumbs !!!
its just absolutely wild to me that she's presenting femininely and wears skirts and dresses and everything and uses her preferred name when she writes her name down on stuff and yet everyone at the centre calls her by her birthname and he/him pronouns. like. how are people so fucking rude and oblivious ??? she's even worn a she/her pronoun pin to the centre like.... people are so fucking stupid about trans people I stg.
idk I'm just hoping to make her feel a bit more comfortable and maybe if I start calling her by the right name and pronouns then everyone else will too eventually because I know she doesnt feel safe correcting people. I'm not going to make a big thing of it obviously bc I don't want to put her in danger but I will be using the correct name and pronouns now that I've double-checked with her about it, and if I start feeling like it's making things worse for her then I'll check in with her again at that point. I've honestly been stumbling trying to use he/him for her when I mention her to other ppl because she is just... she/her in my brain. it's what I know she wants to use so it feel fucking awful to use anything else !!!
#and my counselor said smth abt her that rly didnt sit right with me#but i was too scared to challenge her on it and ask what she meant by what she'd said#it might just be that this woman talks too much and will talk my ear off if i let her fjfkdl#and then i wont make friends if i just sit with her every day like i was doing the first couple weeks#but smth abt the way she said smth more like... ''getting sucked into all the stuff [she] has going on''#but said in a more... eugh way#idk it set off transphobia alarm bells in my head. ''ooh man wearing a dress who thinks he's a woman how crazy and perverted'' sort of vibe#I'm just... worried. that my counselor is transphobic lmao. I haven't talked abt any of my gender stuff w her#she can she/her me all she wants lol I don't talk about gender w mental health professionals ever after that initial exp a few yrs ago#I DONT KNOW THOUGH THIS IS JUST RLY MESSING WITH ME#LIKE WHY ARE PEOPLE BEING SO WILLFULLY OBLIVIOUS ???#its really fucking upsetting and I've been trying to not let it get to me too much but jesus fucking christ c'mon people 😭😭😭#im hoping i can maybe help change things for the better bc I'll be someone on her side#since she doesnt seem to have that there. god I've cried abt this a few times bc its just awful#and it rly reminds me a bit of my own situation where i just. grin and bear the misgendering and wrong name#except im a coward compared to her fjdksl i never mention my name or pronouns#i will say though that she has consistently misgendered me no matter how often I've reminded her of my pronouns fjdksl#but like... they/them is difficult. i get that. I can't hold it against her esp bc she's in her like 50s or smth#head in my hands. i wish life were kinder to all of us. i hope one day things can be easier#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#transphobia#transmisogyny#<- for blacklists. i uhhh hope this doesnt turn up in searches but oh well !!!
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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oh wow just saw flatmate messaged saying another friend passed smth on like oh okay. I didn't realise he went too u didn't say. in fact none of u said anything to me so that's great
#he lives hours away thats a lot of travel just for drinks#when she asked me she said it was her + one other person. going out for drinks in evening.#but clearly she took the day off work bc ghosts dont do laundry. so it was a whole day trip. so why tell me it was just drinks#unless she just wanted a good excuse for me not to come. okay 👍#i cant even make myself mad abt it like fair enough man. i get it.#and if last weekend is anything to go off she probably wont ask me at all in the future#well as long as they have fun it doesnt matter i guess. im tired of feeling like im just intruding in everyones lives#and everyone fucking lying like what u say doesnt line up with how u act i can tell its not real im not that fucking stupid#ive dealt with this so many times before average autistic experience im tired of naively believing ppl and then the rug being pulled#sorry for being the way i am and for wanting things and for trying to take up space i give up its not worth it anyway#at least this is giving me smth to feel shit abt instead of just formless malaise. makes it easier to deal with that way#anyway. just need to get my shit enough together to leave the house by 3 so i can pick up this stuff for work#and i can do most of my other chores tmr so thats fine#i hate how much fucking time i waste feeling awful. no wonder other ppl have time to watch n read n create n whatever so much more than me#half of my fucking life is spent in my head trying and failing to emotionally regulate im so so sick of it#i wish i never had to think a single thought again and maybe id be happy#jesus fucking christ. well i need to leave my room soon bc i need to pee im not depressed enough to piss in a bucket just yet#hope i never get to that stage again amen uni was pretty fucking dire#.vent#hate weekends so fucking much what a waste of free time
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suncaptor · 5 months
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there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.
#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma#I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do#this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by#my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness#control my willingness to let things in#but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music...........#and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy#or religion because they've damaged me so much#how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma?#the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is#but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again#and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror#then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique#and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem#but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere#possibility of a future#i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed#me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life.#if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee#nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like#that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and#there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue.#it's the problem in itself.#my ambition SHOULD be smarter.#god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i#mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me#but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin#well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see.#delete
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kuiinncedes · 4 months
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🥹 ;-;
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etfrin · 10 months
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⤷❝Jealous, jealous girl | Coriolanus Snow❞ˎˊ-
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⇢☾Warning: NSFW | Snow is his own warning, toxic relationship, jealousy, possessiveness, fucked up thoughts, toxic! jealous! possessive reader, bondage (eyes and hands), dom sub undertones, face riding, cunnilingus, thigh riding, riding, pinv sex, unprotected sex (wrap it dumbfucks), mentions of killing | lmk if I forgot anything!
⇢☾Pairing: young! president Snow x fem! reader
⇢☾Summary: being jelly leads to sexy times!
⇢☾A/N: hope y'all enjoy this!
previous installments of AM au: the study, mine to love, the quiet gift
< masterlist > < bc: @cafekitsune > < tag list >
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He didn't take account of your possessiveness when he decided to charm some of the elitists of the Capitol. It was his duty to keep them under his pocket whether it be with empty smiles or deadly threats. Though the latter might have been easier with how you were glaring at everyone who made a passing or suggestive comment towards Coriolanus.
Even with his arm around your waist, you pressed against him wasn't enough to satiate you. His presence wasn't enough to calm you down, not when you wanted to burn down everyone in the gala who looked at Snow with lustful eyes. He was taken. He was your husband. Yours.
Coryo didn't realize what was wrong, surely it was obvious that you were in a bad mood but that was no way to behave. He had to talk with his pet.
And he was planning on that when he entered the room, to see you on the phone, a call that you immediately cut and look at him with a smile that cut through his bones because he knew it was fake. It was a smile he had to wear a thousand times and now you were looking at him the same way.
“What was that call?” He asked roughly, his eyebrows furrowing, his fingers twitching, his mind already thinking of locking you up and wondering if you had found a lover. He- he-
“It was just-” You tilt your head, your mind already figuring out his thoughts, your first instinct was to lie. However, you knew better than that.
“I want to fuck someone over,” you said instead, blunt and straight to the point without any riddles so that your husband doesn't overthink it. He.. he felt himself calm down a bit. “Who?” He asked his mind at ease. Has someone hurt you? Insulted you? It was rare for you to take such actions, especially when Coriolanus made sure no one could mistreat you.
You bite your lower lip, wondering if you should lie. Snow hadn't seen your ugly side as much as you have seen him. But… perhaps it's about time he should and you were angry. At him and everyone who dared their lustful eyes and filthy hands on your man (You wanted to claw their eyes out, you wanted to cut their hand off for such a sin). Corio called you his dove, his pet, his property. But he seems to forget that he is also yours, your husband, your lover, your man. It was time to remind him of that.
You walked towards him until he backed up to the door, it was a position that you both knew except he was the one pinned for a change. “A bitch,” you ended up saying, your fingertips grazing his sharp jawline. His eyes widened, a familiar heaviness to his breathing and his pupils began to dilate. “Which bitch?” He said, turning his face away to focus and not kiss your pretty lips. “The one who couldn't take her hands off what's mine,” you whispered, your hands on his customized suit, pushing the fabric away from his shoulder and letting it fall. Then your fingers were busy twisting the buttons so you could see this man's golden skin, but the action was stopped when Corio softly asked, “Yours?”
Even if his tone was soft, you knew better than to believe it. Coriolanus Snow belonging to someone? He couldn't think of a worse joke, that just made you even more frustrated, so frustrated that you don't bother unbuttoning his buttons. You begin to rip them one by one. Coryo allows you to act in this manner, knowing that you need to deal with this in your own way.
“I am not yours,” he said, “I don't belong to you.” You wanted to slap the man. You never had a greater urge too before. You clenched your jaw, “You are.” Your hand goes to the pendant you always wore after your first anniversary. A necklace with his initials.
“It’s a two-way street, Coriolanus Snow. You're my husband, my man, and my lover. I am yours as much as you are mine,” your fingers grip the chain, “Or I can tear this from my neck and walk away.” Coryo was going to punish you for those words, there was no doubt about it. His eyes, those blue ocean eyes had anger in them now. How dare you threaten, Snow?
You waited for an answer, both of your chests heaving with passion waiting to explode. “Threaten to leave again, I'll break those legs of yours and chain you to the bed.” Your breath hitches from his words, the truth ringing in his voice. This insane man… you had no words to say so you didn't. You pressed him to the door, your lips clashing with his. For the first time, you didn't give in to the fight for dominance. Both of your teeth clashing, the tongues fighting in war and neither side winning but becoming a greater mess.
“You're a coward, Coryo,” you whispered as you were pushed back to the bed, neither of you giving up the fight to control the kiss. You refused to be underneath him for him tonight. Coriolanus Snow owned you and you wanted the taste of owning him. You manage to straddle him, saliva covering both of your chins from the messy kiss neither refusing to break.
“You- how dare you let her touch you like this,” you whispered, a hint of insecurity creeping into your sound. “They can look at you all they want, envy all they want but touch is reserved for me only. For me, Coryo. Next time it's brought to my attention that you let yourself be groped like that whether it be for your interests or Panem. Rest assured they won't be seeing the sun again and every inch of your skin that was touched…” You couldn't complete the threat, not when his eyes widened. Coriolanus felt like he was looking in a mirror.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you hissed, “There is a reason why we work out, sweetheart. It's not because of whatever formulas you have in your mind to control me, to have me. It's because I am just as insane as you, if not more but I have an infinite amount of control over myself.”
He was thinking, thinking of what you didn't know. You didn't want to know what epiphany had crushed the man from your honest words filled with ugly deep jealousy. You didn't want to let yourself wonder either if he would have preferred someone sane, someone less jealous and possessive. Someone opposite of him in every regard.
But Snow leans forward to kiss you. It's… delicate the kiss. A brush of his soft lips against yours, a grin blessing his face. “What?” You whispered, hesitantly. “You’re perfect,” he said, and those words did things to you, nearly enough to melt away your anger. Nearly.
“And your perfection is aggravating,” you said, with each word a kiss was pressed to his lips. “I love you,” you whispered, a wet kiss pressed to his jaw that went down the path of his neck to his pulse. Your hands shamelessly undress him. “But you truly vex me, Coryo.” you let out as you bite the spot of his pulse, sucking his life from his skin, formatting a bruise, marking him as yours.
“Calm down,” he grunts as he also undresses you, his touch on your heated skin damning you to hell. “I am here, pet.” Finally, both of you were unrestricted by clothes, lips clashing with each other as the hands roamed the body in a hurry. Neither of you was going to disappear, but the desperation as if one of you would slip away like sand clawed at both of your minds.
You didn't reply to his reassurance, you pushed him till his back was pinned on the mattress and he let you. For once you were in control and you had no idea what to do with it. You bite your lip, pondering what should be the next course. You wanted to ride him, you wanted to kiss him. You wanted him to regret it. But most importantly you wanted him to realize he is addicted to you too, as you are with him.
So you pulled back, ignoring the flash of confusion on his face, and went to the closet to pick out two ties. One red, another black, both gifts from you. Coryo raised his eyebrows but indulged you without saying a word, knowing that he would get you back for it. You let him sit up, as you tied his hands together behind his back and then tied the blindfold around his eyes.
“Let me play with you today, Coryo,” you said, “It will be fun.” Coryo replied with a warning, “Do not cross the line.”
You were never an obedient pet. You placed your cunt on his thigh, your folds soaking with arousal, your walls needing his cock but you ignored the want as you began to grind yourself slowly against the tense muscles of his leg. “Coriolanus Snow, the perfect man, the perfect student, the perfect president. Tell me Coryo, would you consider yourself a perfect husband?” “Sweetheart,” he warns you, not ready to hear whatever criticism you want to spew. He could never be a perfect man, perfect in the sense of good and bad. He couldn't but that doesn't mean he has to face it.
“I think you are,” you whispered to his ear, causing him to relax visibly, it was rather pathetic how quickly your admission of yours made his cock fucking hard, harder than before. Your pussy continues to grind against his thigh, your hips rolling at a relaxed pace as you coat his skin in your juices. “You’re perfect in every sense of the word,” you praised him, your lips set on creating multiple shades of mark on his shoulder and collarbone.
He didn't need your words, he didn't know your praises yet a groan escaped his lips. His breath is heavier than before as your grinding gets faster. “Let me see you,” he whispered, and you wanted to deny him. You did but you knew he wanted to know if you were lying, manipulating him in any manner and you weren't cruel enough to play that game with him. You took off the blindfold from his eyes and the vulnerability that showed in his blue eyes made you so wet, your pussy clenching around nothing and he could feel the spasm on his thigh.
His eyes search yours for a hint of a lie, he doesn't find any. Both of your lips met for a kiss, knocking us breathless as you wrapped your arms around his neck and began to roll your hips faster on his thigh, getting close to a high. Meanwhile, his cock was leaking onto his abs, thick goops of pre-cum that you swipe on your fingertips and lick as you don't give any attention to his length. A sound you couldn't classify leaves Coriolanus's lips as he watches you taste himself.
It felt perfect, you teasing him like this. You are in control, despite Coriolanus' not-so-subtle attempts to get rid of the knot that tied his hands together. ‘I am in control, love,’ you wanted to say but you bite your tongue instead and sucked on the sweet spot of his jaw. “Wanna sit on your face,” you whispered to him.
“Fuck, fuck, dove” he cursed before he nods. You maneuver him into the position, your cunt mere inches from his greedy mouth that had already started teasing your folds with kitten licks that you mewling with need. “Coryo,” you whispered, pleading to be completely honest as you lowered yourself down onto his face. His tied arms above his head, your fingers laced with his (the safe word being three squeezes if you end up suffocating him). Your pussy finally reached its destination, finding his lips and his tongue. The slaughter of your sanity had begun.
He was so messy with this, it surprised your soul. His licks weren't long and calculated per usual but short, teasing like that had you bucking your hips onto his face. You try to be careful, you swear you do but all was lost in your hazy pleasure. You moan his name, again and again, and Coriolanus gets high off it. The power you hand him without realizing, the control you give him of your pleasure.
“Coryo!” you cry out, your movements getting fervent. You were close to snapping from riding his thigh, from the high and adrenaline of the situation. It wasn't hard to shatter, your cunt gushing out juices as your walls began to spasm. The orgasm turns your bones into jelly but you have work to do. You have shattered but you yet hadn't broken Snow.
Coryo hums against your folds, licking all the juices up, nipping and kissing your clit with such attention, it sends shivers down your spine. You pulled yourself off of his face, and your pussy begins to ache again because of how debauched he looks. His mouth gasping, his face shining with your arousal all over his chin, beads of your juices dripping down his skin. You closed your eyes, getting your senses back to you.
You let out a shaky breath yourself and you bring him back to a sitting position, one of your hands on his nape and another finding his cock. He lets out a groan of relief and pleasure as you squeeze his girth with your fist. You stroke his cock several times and coat his length with his pre-cum. “Gonna ride you, baby,” you whispered to him, your lips meeting his, and you moaned into his mouth as you tasted yourself.
You placed yourself on his lap, one of your hands going to his tied wrists, playing with the knots unaware that a lot of it has come loose. You don't even realize it as you were too busy sinking on his cock, your other hand in his hair, gripping the blonde curls rather roughly.
Coryo leans forward, pushing his face between your breasts, his tongue licking stripes of your salty skin and his teeth digging into the sides of your supple flesh making you let out a sharp moan. Your hold on his hair gets tighter, as you adjust to his twitching length inside of your sensitive walls. His lips catch the pendant, the only thing you are still wearing. You look down to watch him suck the ‘S’ in his mouth and you whimper from the sight, your pussy clenching around his cock.
By now your fiddling with his tied wrists had completely untied the knots, something you didn't realize as you became drunk on him. You place your head on his shoulder as you begin to roll your hips. Snow lets you control the pace, not letting you know he is free of his bounds. He takes and takes whatever you give him even as his balls tighten with the urge to come. He bites his lower lip to stave off the urge. Second by second, minute by minute passes as your bodies get hotter and hotter, waiting to burn the brightest.
“Coryo,” you begin to whisper, “You're mine, right?” This time the insecurity in your voice was clear, something that would make you cringe later. This time Coriolanus takes control.
His hands find themselves kneading the flesh of your hips, stopping you from fucking yourself on his cock. You freeze in surprise, your eyes widening. “It’s our wedding ring I wear every day. If that doesn't hold any value to you. Don't you dare ask me that question again?”
“Now fucking cum on my cock, pet,” he said, his eyes turning into snake-like slits, “Don't think I'll forget of your behavior tonight, baby.” You swallow nervously, but Coryo says he is yours, not in those exact words but it was Coryo, he was never known for straight words anyway.
You begin to ride him again, picking up pace as you keep slamming down on his cock, his cockhead kissing your cervix from this position. Your hands go to his shoulder to use as leverage as you continue to fuck yourself on him. “My love,” you moan as you felt yourself getting close over the edge, from how his dick was throbbing inside your cunt, you could tell he was close too. He wedges a hand between the both of your connecting bodies and his fingers find your puffy oversensitive clit and he begins to play with the bud making you cry out.
“That's it, dove,” he whispered, smirking, “Cum on my cock, you're the only one in this entire universe with that privilege.” You whimper, feeling your pussy spasm on his cock repeatedly as all the tension leaves your body. He shallowly thrusts into you, fucking you through your orgasm.
You turn into jelly on his lap, your cunt twitching occasionally from oversensitivity. He turns you over so you are laid down on the bed, and he hooks up your legs on his shoulders.
He leans down, his hand gripping your jaw as his lips brush against yours and he says, “Time for your punishment, doll. You had your chance to indulge, my pet. It's my turn now.”
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i love being fat btw
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certifiedcodbabygirl · 6 months
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Simon Riley crying and praying for the first time in years bc you're hospitalized
(self indulgent as fuck, based off of personal medical history bc it'll be more accurate)
You hadn't ate or drank for 5 days, unable to keep anything down. You thought it was the flu at first. Fevers, puking, extreme fatigue. It didn't seem like anything out of the norm. Except for when your fevers started casing full body convulsions that made you look possessed. Chills and cold sweat turned to groaning and crying, muscles all over cramping and clenching, breathing becoming difficult. You figured it was because you hadn't had the flu in years. How wrong you had been.
Once your puke turned green, which was later found out to be bile from your kidneys, Simon rushed you to the hospital. Unable to stand, he pulled a wheelchair from the entrance and pushed you everywhere. Within 2 hours, the nurses had you admitted and on IV meds. Pain meds, IV Tylenol, and bags of fluid were hooked up to you, rehydrating you being high priority. Your body is in shock, resting heartrate being 140. He sat by your side the entire time, holding your puke bag in one hand, and your hair back in the other. The doctors drew blood, running blood cultures, searching for a more accurate answer.
The night you were admitted, they informed you that your kidneys were so infected that one got injured. The bile that was thrown up was caused but how hard you were puking, pulling it up from your kidneys.
He stayed the night, sleeping in the rocking chair, right next to your bed. He woke up when your fevers came back, holding your hand and telling you how good you're doing, calling in a nurse. The morning that followed, he had to go back to the house to make a bag of your immediate needs, clothes, deodorant, hairbrush, and anything else he could think of. When he came back, a doctor and a couple med students came in with important news.
"We ran blood cultures to see if there was possible an infection in your blood due to your symptoms leaning towards that. They came back positive. We are going to give you antibiotics and run cultures every 12 hours to track if the antibiotics are working" The doctor says as gently as possible.
The room begins to feel like it's spinning. Sepsis has a 68% mortality rate, and knowing how deadly it is, it feels like you're already being buried. Simon looks to you with a confused look, not knowing exactly what that it, but knowing it isn't good.
"I have sepsis?" You ask in a quiet voice, throat constricting.
"Yes" The doctor says softly.
"Oh fuck I'm gonna die" you whisper under your breath, tears forming.
Simon looks to you, eyes widening. 'Not again'
"Wait, the hell is Sepsis?" He demands, but not sounding confident, more scared than anything.
The doctor explains it to him, how it when your blood is infected, how the infection can latch onto your other organs and slowly kill you from the inside out. Once it reaches your brain, it's too late. His grip on your hand tightens. The doctor tries to give hope, but she can only do so much without lying. She leaves to give you privacy.
It's silent, neither of you speaking out of shock. The only noise in the room is the quiet hum of the IV machine and Simon's shaky breathing. Your thumb softly glides back and forth over the back of his hands, trying to ground him.
"Si" you softly call.
It takes hour to get him to loosen up a little. It's only when you manage to keep down a popsicle that he feels like he can breath a little easier. Like maybe you'll be part of the 32% that pull through.
That sliver of hope is crushed that night, being woken up by his arm being slapped repeated by you in a panic. His eyes meet yours, concern instantly written on his face. Your hand is on your chest as short, sharp breaths are the only thing you can manage.
"I,, can't,, breath,," you whisper between breaths, unable to say a sentence in one go.
"Baby it's alright, jus' try to breath wit' me, hm?" he tries to demonstrate slow breathing, mistaking it for a panic attack.
"not a,, panic,, attack,, please,, nurse,," you try to tell him.
He nods in a panic, running out to the nurse station and explaining. They rush in and take your pulse-ox just to see your oxygen percentage is at 86% when it should be above 95%. They try to do the deep breathing again before Simon interrupts them.
"It's not a bloody panic attack, she literally can't breath. Get her oxygen or somethin' before she fuckin' suffocates!"
They put you on oxygen until they can get you an X-ray. The nurses try to chalk it up to a panic attack until in the morning they see you still can't breath. They give you an X-ray and when the results come back, they send the doctor in. She informs you that the nurses gave you too much IV fluid and that caused your organs to swell so much that they pushed up on your lungs, collapsing them by 3/4ths. 1/4th of your lungs are still open and they're going to take you off fluid, start you on exercises to open them back up, and keep you on oxygen.
That's the last straw for Simon. Once you fall asleep for a nap, he heads outside to the bench area and punches a wall. His knuckles split but he barely feels it, ringing in his ears drowning out the surrounding noise. With no one around, he sits on a bend, elbows on knees and face in his hands. His breath picks up as his throat tightens and tears threaten to rip out of him.
"Why would ya let this happen to 'er? Aren't you supposed to be lovin'?" He whispers into the wind, looking up at the sky, "That girl in't like me. She's the fuckin' sunshine in human form and she's on death's bloody doorstep."
Tears cloud his vision, unable to keep it in any longer. He blinks them away, falling onto his clenched fists. Years of praying, to a god he later grew to resent, for him to fix his family. A child kneeling at his bed, begging him to get his family out of his father's grasp. Once he got to his teenage years, his desperation became resentment and anger. His jaw began to clench when his drunken father would spew bible verses at him to condemn him. He realized God wouldn't save him, nor would he when Simon's family was ripped from him.
Yet here he was, back to that same god, desperate that maybe, just maybe, he'd have mercy on him this time. He believed himself a rotten man, even if it was subconscious, unworthy of the angel sent to him. His light, reparations for the mistreatment The Father had destined for him.
"You sent 'er to me, it's gotta be for a reason. You've never listened to my prayers before but just this fuckin' once, please don't ignore me." His voice breaks, openly sobbing with no sound, "You sent 'er to me and now I can't live without 'er. She's fuckin' everythin' to me. Don't take back your gift, please" The end of his sentence slips into a whisper.
He wipes his tears on his sleeve and sniffles hard, trying to erase the evidence of his vulnerability. He stands and walks to the door, looking back at the bench before turning back to the door and walking in. 'Amen'
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sahkuna · 3 months
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SUMMER FLING — GETO SUGURU
synopsis: [request] geto and reader meet each other while in vacation while in italy in a meet cute kind of scenario <3
content warning(s): fem! reader, 18+ content mdni, dry humping, very suggestive, no explicit smut but it's hinted bc i was already a few words over the maximum wc for the event good GOD
a/n: my dear @ariivyocean !!! i need a shot. final time repostin' cuz tumblr is hiding the posts from the tags... also ur ask DISAPPEARED?!?! ANYway tysm for sending something in and hugs&tickles for you <333 i hope i captured ur envisioned plot !!!
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Rome, the city of love.
… Or was that Paris? Man, how’d that phrase go again?
Geto watches you meander around his neat and spacious hotel room from the comfort of his bed. You poke your head in and out of each room, careful eyes sweeping over his meticulously organized belongings scattered across the area.
He could feel his mind blanking as his eyes slowly trail down your figure that was still clad in the summer outfit when picked you up from your place earlier that morning. The orange hue of the setting sun filters through the curtains and across the dimly lit room.
“Didn’t peg you as being quite the neat freak…” you comment, moseying on up to the bed toward Geto. Resolutely, you press your knee down onto the mattress in between his spread legs. With a playful smile dancing across your lips, you wrap your arms around his neck and seek his mouth with your own. 
Yeah… Rome. He thinks to himself. The city definitely had to have been Rome.
If Gojo were here— and thank God he wasn’t, otherwise he would’ve cockblocked this moment for him big time— he would’ve chided him on how fast things may have been moving between you two.
“Easier to find stuff that way,” he all but says in response against your soft lips.
His hands snake down to squeeze at your waist, eliciting a faint giggle from you. You swing your other leg across his lap and straddle him, the pads of your fingertips lovingly stroke the back of his nape.
It had been a week since Geto accidentally bumped into you at a local cafe in Rome, Italy while he was on a forced 2-week trip with Gojo and Shoko. Some may coin how you two ran into each other as a “meet cute”, but having your sugary, ice-cold drink trickle down the fabric of his dark blue collared button-up was anything but that. 
Had it not been for the way you babbled out your apologies a mile a second, your hands futilely patting at the ruined material, even going as far as to offer to pay for his clothing— which would’ve been impossible because that shirt alone cost about ¥150,000— Geto would’ve moved on with his day.
Would’ve.
But alas, here you are a week later, canoodling and kissing in the privacy of his hotel room. 
“When are your friends supposed to be back?” The sound of your voice is sweet and light in his ear. It lulls him to slide his eyes closed for a moment, humming temporarily as he considers your question the best he can as you rock back and forth against his lap.
He bites back a harsh hiss when you particularly brush up against his clothed dick in a manner that’s all too titillating for him to handle.
“Dunno… They— Hah.” A dazed smirk tugs at his lips when the weight of you presses down on him a little harder, a little meaner so that the friction of you grinding against his growing erection could be felt more.
Your hands graze Geto’s chest, slipping underneath his unbuttoned top. Your nails gently brush against his nipple, and you relish in the way he instinctively jerks away from your touch, smiling at his clipped “Hey”. He must be sensitive there, you deduct. 
“They…?” You drawl, urging him to continue with his sentence
“They probably went to some dessert cafe… pretty sure.”
“Ah!” Your movements falter a bit before you stop altogether. “Like the one we met at?”
Had Geto been in the right headspace, he would’ve been a bit more abashed with how quickly his hips jerk up against you, prompting any form of contact with you so that it could relieve the intense blood flow shooting straight to his dick.
God, he wants you to keep going. 
An unsteady breath shudders out of Geto as he answers with a distant, “Probably.”
A small smile plays at the corners of your lips and a slow warmth curls in his stomach as he watches your hips rub languid, dizzying circles against his tented pants. Geto was willing to give you whatever answer you wanted to hear if it meant that you kept moving against him like that until it led to something more.
“I’m asking this so we don’t get walked in on, Suguru,” you murmur, nudging your nose against his, engaging in brief eye contact with the man before his eyes slide shut, brows pinched tightly together. “You said they have the key cards to this room!”
Ahhh, can’t you guys talk about his friends later?
Geto's breathing becomes more laboured, each inhale headier than the last.“Did I say that?” he asks, disbelieving that he would ever say such a thing. Especially since his own words momentarily stopped you from getting into his pants. 
Geto's hands cup the back of your knees, hiking you a bit higher onto his lap as his fingers inch their way up to the bottom of your ass, pinching the skin there and smiling to himself at the noise you make.
Adorable.
“Suguru…” you murmur when you feel him pop the button of your shorts with a versed hand. Anticipation and want licks at the pits of your lower belly.
“We’ll be done before they even come back. I’m sure of it,” he promises, peppering several warm kisses against your neck, toward your cheek, before he presses them on your lips. “Satoru’s stunted when it comes to directions anyway.”
But the universe seems to have other ideas and decides hey, maybe this one time, Satoru does manage to find his way around. Because 20 minutes later, it’s the sound of a squeaking mattress and one too many whimpers and groans that keep Gojo from slapping his key card against the door’s reader.
“You know what, maybe one more wrap around the streets of Rome wouldn’t hurt,” he mutters, his face paled in the slightest as he trots down the hallway with a snickering Shoko in tow.
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tumblr you will rue the day . ANYWAY: there are 3 spaces left for reqs
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restlesspazzi04 · 2 months
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Love Island: A Pazzi Fic
Part 1: Day 3
Genre: I've somehow managed to think up a forbidden love/enemies to lovers/reformed player/slow burn love island fic all together so imma pat myself on the back bc ive been getting so many asks for all five
A/N:
This is just the introduction chapter to a series that will be very loosely updated as it's more of a fun project i'm working on but hope you guys enjoy because this is just me riding off the love island hyperfixation im in lol
Extra Note: this is will be on tumblr only mainly bc this series will be trash and purely for my self entertainment so idc as much. slow falling will remain on ao3 only :)
ik some people have difficulty reading on tumblr tho so if i get enough asks i will put this on ao3 if its easier
word count: 3.2k (this will fluctuate depending on my mood)
Format Clarification:
When the contestant name is in front of the text, that means it's a cutaway and not actually said in the villa!
anything in italics is to be read in Iain Stirling voice please i love him
-
Day 3:
It's day 3 and it's heating up in the villa! Will the current couples pass the test of temptation as two new bombshells enter for the ultimate challenge? Find out here on Love Island USA: WLW Sports Edition! 
When Paige first got the call that she was nominated for Love Island, she knew who put her name in the sea of women’s athletes picked for the show. With her social media agents wanting to get the “player” allegations away from her image to make herself more marketable, she was a shoo-in for the show. 
Paige was confident in her coupling. Ellie, the Olympic swimmer from Australia, was up her ally of girls: hot, brunette, and gay. They had been going strong for the first three days in the villa, with Ellie picking Paige on Day 1 coupling. In the mess of drama the other couples were whirlwind into, they had remained together as a voice of reason. 
“I’m just not really feeling her I don’t know,” Kate groans, slapping the ping pong ball back to Paige. 
“Bro it’s been three days and you’re already tired of your match? Couldn’t be me.” Paige responds, returning the ball. 
Kate and Paige being the only WNBA athletes in the villa naturally stuck together as close friends, being each other's confidants on Love Island. They had the common ground of basketball solidifying their sisterhood and frequently took each other's advice.
“It’s not that. I just feel like there’s no spark. Sarah is great and all, but I can’t imagine spending the rest of my villa time with her.”
“Why don’t you explore your options tonight if we recouple? That’ll start some crazy drama.” Paige laughs mischievously, wiggling her eyebrows at an unamused Kate Martin. 
“All the other couples are pretty locked in and I don’t wanna be a homewrecker… plus they’re probably bringing in new bombshells today if I got the formula right. Hopefully, they’re my type because I don’t think it’s working out for me and Sarah. ” 
“New bombshells? I mean none of them better be basketball players. That’s Ellie’s type to a T. It was hard enough fighting against you.” Paige jokes, slightly concerned at the idea of new people. It wasn’t like she and Ellie were completely locked in, but Paige knew she’d be at risk of getting kicked off the show if any of the new bombshells coupled up with Ellie.
“Ellie is not my type. She’s too nice. I need some passion in my girl." 
“I like nice. She’s sweet and brings me orange juice in the morning.” Paige says, dropping her paddle when Kate sends the ball flying past her head, "Drama stresses me out. That's why Ellie is perfect for me."
“Nah, I like a little fight. It’s hot when a girl is mad at you… you should know better than me ‘Miss Star Point Guard on the Golden State Valkyries’. Aren’t women always fighting over you?” 
“I already told you I’m not a player in the real world or the villa. Why does no one on the island believe me?” Paige exclaims, plopping down on the way-to-colorful couch in the Villa playroom. 
“I don’t know… maybe you’re insane eye contact with everyone you meet?” Kate says sarcastically, taking her seat next to Paige. 
“Blame my parents! They’re the ones who told me that eye contact is respectful." Paige argues before adding, "I can’t help I got beautiful eyes.” 
“Shut u-"
Kate is effectively cut off when KK Harvey starts screaming "I GOT A TEXT" throughout the entire villa, everyone making their way to the poolside where she was sitting.
"Islanders please gather at the fire pit for a surprise! #WatchOutCouples #Bout to drop a bomb!" KK reads loudly, the whole villa shouting in response.
"Welp, I guess this is your moment to find a new girl." Paige sighs, making her way over to the fire pit.
"Not yours?"
"Nope, I'm pretty happy with Ellie."
"You sure about that? Not even keeping an open eye?" Kate teased, ragging on Paige's loyalty.
"I'm definitely not re-coupling with some newcomer." Paige asserts firmly. 
"If you say so." 
-
As the Islanders all flock to the firepit, taking their seats next to their partners, they await for further instruction. 
“I GOT A TEXT!” Kate hoots out as the other islanders get excited, “It says ‘Get ready as your two new bombshells join you guys in the villa! #AreYouReady?’”
Paige looks over at Ellie, who’s already gripping tighter on Paige’s arm at the news of Bombshells. 
“I hope they’re not your type,” Ellie whispers shyly into Paige’s ear. It was a cute gesture, one that should’ve made Paige blush. Paige just gives her a reassuring squeeze on the arm, leaning in to whisper back. 
“I already got a beautiful girl, don’t worr-”
Paige is interrupted as shouting rings through the villa as two new girls make their way into the villa. 
“Bro, can you see her?” Kate says, pulling Paige up immediately as two figures appear in the distance. 
“Not with you jumping on my shoulders.” Paige retorts back, leaning up to get a better look, “They’re tall.”  
“Wait, I think I recognize one of them,” Kate says with her eyes squinted
Kate: You guys are ruthless in bringing my exact type. Fuck, I want to stay loyal to Sarah but I do still want to keep my options open, you know?
Paige has to brace herself for this entrance. She recognized the two bombshells immediately as they got closer. The WNBA world was small and both of these contestants were prominent figures in the league. Azzi Fudd and Nika Muhl, the star guards for the LA Sparks would be joining the girls on the island. 
“No way they brought in more girls from the league!” Kate whispers into Paige’s ear. 
“Did they run out of gays for other sports? Or is the league just super gay?” Paige responds in a nervous whisper. Ellie had literally told Paige on the first day that her type was basketball girls and it was one of the main reasons why Ellie had picked her. It was not to Paige’s advantage to have multiple girls chasing after her girl. 
“Wait, I know both of them. We worked out together at Kelsey Plum’s dawg class for a few days. She’s super hot not gonna lie.” Kate whispered lowly so Sarah wouldn’t hear. 
“Oh yeah, I’ve met them a few times. Did you know that they both were gonna come to UCONN but chose UCLA last minute?” Paige droned on, her eyes oddly trained on Azzi as they finally reached the fire pit. It suddenly dawned on Paige that she had never seen the younger girl in a bikini and it set an uncomfortable fire ablaze in her stomach. 
Azzi: Hi, my name is Azzi Fudd and I’m a 5’ 11” shooting guard for the Sparks. I wanted to come to Love Island to find my future wife and make a strong connection with someone. I have been in a lot of relationships and they don’t seem to go well for me, so I hope I find my match here!
Nika: I’m Nika Muhl and I’m a 6’ foo-
Azzi: 5’ 10” don’t lie Nika
Nika: Don’t cut me off! Anyway, I’m a point guard for the LA Sparks and I wanted to come to Love Island to finally find my love match and establish a strong connection. I’m super excited to meet the Islanders. 
Another text sound rings through the air, coming from Azzi’s hand. 
“Bombshell’s Azzi and Nika, Pick two people to go on dates with tomorrow before bed tonight. Have fun getting to know everyone tonight in the villa! #newcomers #shootyourshot!” Azzi read out, inciting excitement through the villa again. 
“Hey you’re Azzi and Nika, right? Guard’s on the Sparks?” Coco asks, making room for them around the fire pit to welcome them. 
“Yeah, we’re shocked they picked us to go together since we knew each other. You’re Coco Gauff. I’m a big fan.” Azzi gushes, hugging Coco. 
“Hey Kate,” Nika says, acknowledging the blonde in the crowd as she scans around, “How’s the island?” 
“Good. Surprised to see you guys here but I’m hyped. We need more basketball representation in here.” Kate jokes. 
“We get enough ‘basketball is the best sport’ debating from these two. Now we got more.” KK Harvey jokes, motioning to the two basketball blondes in the pit. 
“Basketball is amazing though, you gotta admit.” Azzi plays along, earning a few lighthearted groans from the rest of the villa. 
“Just promise you shut up Paige before she goes on a whole rant. Kate just eggs on that little pest.” Coco groans. 
“I’m never wrong Coco, don’t play with me. Tennis is fun but basketball is art.” Paige says, earning more groans from the group. “Do you guys know who you wanna pull for chats?” Ellie asks the two bombshells, jutting into the conversation. 
“Um, I have my eyes on a few people but I’m gonna see for the next few hours as I get to know more people on the island,” Nika responds. 
“We know you guys are in couples right now, but we just wanted to wait until we got to know more people’s vibes,” Azzi adds, looking around all the girls in the pit. A few couples had already gone off to different parts of the villa, but she was getting a good look at everyone left. There were a few people on her radar and a few people who weren’t. 
Azzi: Kate was making some pretty clear eye contact with me, but she’s on my “pulling for chats” roster.
The group spends the next few minutes getting to know each other and filling in the two on the island news. Paige tried to focus on Ellie squeezing her arm, but she was distracted by things she couldn’t comprehend. 
Things such as Azzi Fudd making flashing bouts of eye contact with her to no end. Paige was not one to falter at strong eye contact, but she couldn’t help but grow slightly nervous under the shooting guard's gaze. It wasn’t rare for Paige to catch the eye of someone. New people entering the villa the past few days had flocked to her, but she rejected them to no avail to remain loyal to Ellie. It was still fun flirting and making stable eye contact was one of her specialties. But Azzi Fudd seemed to be looking at her with a specific glint that Paige couldn’t pinpoint. 
Paige: Did you guys see the way she was looking at me? I can’t tell if she wants me in her bed or wants me dead.  
Annoyance? Lust? Hatred? C’mon Paige tell us what you see!
“So you guys want a little villa tour?” Kate asks suddenly while stepping slightly closer to Azzi, “It’s super nice.” 
The group makes their way around the villa, showing the two new islanders all the spots. Ellie and Paige stayed hand-in-hand as they walked, Ellie refusing to let go. Even when Paige got closer to Azzi coincidentally, the shooting guard would make it a point to take two steps away and it didn’t help that Ellie was pulling her in the other direction. They end up at the rooms as they finish off the night, the girls entering their assigned makeup rooms to get ready for bed. Azzi is put into Paige, Kate, Coco, and KK’s room, getting spilt up from Nika. 
“So Azzi, what do you think of the villa?” Coco asks while wiping her makeup off. 
“It’s nice, bigger than I expected. Soul ties are a lot more secretive than I thought.” Azzi answers, unpacking her bags. 
“Yeah, a lot of shit goes down there. If you go to soul ties at night we know you’re fucking or something.” KK laughs. 
“Do you know who you’re picking for your dates tomorrow? You get two right?” Paige asks, speaking up for the first time. 
“Yeah, two. I’m not sure who I’m picking yet. I think they’re asking me to pick in an hour so I have time to think in the shower.” 
“What’s your type?” Kate asks Azzi boldly, getting an approval look from Paige. 
“Uhh, I tend to focus a lot on personality. Just someone who can match my competitiveness and my energy. But if we’re talking looks, I tend to go for tall blondes.” Azzi says casually, immediately getting Kate to snap her eyes to Paige. 
Paige: Is Azzi flirting with me or Kate? If it’s me, I’m in trouble. Ellie is not going to be happy if I go on a date tomorrow. 
“Is there a separate shower room? I need to unpack my bottles.” Azzi says while standing up.
“Yeah, it’s down the hall to the left. That’s where our group showers.” Coco instructs, getting a nod of thank you before Azzi leaves. 
“Hold up, was she talking about me?” Kate polls the group the second Azzi safely leaves the room, “Or was she walking about the other two blondies?” 
“I think she was just stating her type buddy.” KK Harvey jokes, “Plus, she’s totally talking about me. She’s been giving me the eyes.”  
“Really?” Paige chimes in curiously, “Like slightly angry but confusingly hot?” 
“No, like she wanna look into my soul…What type of looks is she giving you?” KK questions. 
“Nothing… she wasn’t really looking at me, just wondering,” Paige adds quickly. She was probably just overthinking due to the reveal of her type. 
“Back off KK, you’re happy with Kylie. Sarah and I have been distant for days.” Kate playfully challenges. 
“Kylie’s great, but Azzi and Nika are hot, not going to lie. I kinda hope I get to go on the date with them. Don’t tell Kylie though, she might kill me.” 
“As long as you don’t tell Sarah. I wanna test my connection with the bombshells but I don’t want to blindside Sarah.” 
“You guys are acting like Azzi and Nika want you guys. She could be talking about girls in the other room.” Coco jokes, butting into the heated debate.
“Please, Coco. We get it. You and Paige are in happy little couples and don’t need to worry about recoupling. I would say Kylie would leave me the second another hockey girl comes in here.” KK says sarcastically before adding, “I’ve never gone for a basketball girl before.” 
“I have. And I know them better than you loser. Azzi said tall, that means basketball. She was clearly talking about me.” Kate argues back. 
“I’ll be right back,” Paige says suddenly, jumping from her makeup chair. 
“Where are you going?” Kate asks as Paige starts exiting the room. 
“Just going to chat with Azzi for a bit. Nothing serious. I’ll be back in 30 seconds.” Paige says quickly, ignoring any questioning she got from the group. 
Paige makes her way down the hall, knocking twice on the shower room door before it slowly squeaks open.
“It’s unlocked,” Azzi says simply, her composure even. 
“Oh. Some people are uncomfortable with people coming in during showers so I always knock. Wasn’t sure if you were showering.” 
“Nope, just unpacking,” Azzi says shortly, confusing Paige again, “Do you need to shower? I can leave.” 
“Oh, no. I actually wanted to talk to you real quick before you pick your dates for tomorrow.” Paige starts. 
“Sure, what did you want to talk about?” Azzi asks cautiously, continuing to organize her skincare on her shelf. 
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m in a pretty solid connection with Ellie and I don’t want you to waste your date on me because I’m mostly taken. You can still pick me, but I just want to be transparent from the beginning before we get to know each other.” Paige says while sitting up on the sink.
Azzi stood up from her packing, giving Paige a focused look of mild confusion. 
“What makes you think I’m picking you?” Azzi asks with an even tone, eyes unwavering from Paige’s. 
“Well, you said tall blondes are your type and that’s only me and Kate. So I assumed you’d use your two picks on us.” Paige says, slightly less confident.
Azzi steps closer to Paige, closing the gap between them. 
“Is it true that if you take off your top they can’t air it because it’s nudity?” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear, pulling the blonde in. 
“Uh, yeah? They can’t air it. But they get kinda annoyed when we do it and talk about villa stuff.” Paige whispers shakily into Azzi’s ear. 
“Turn your head,” Azzi says as she takes two steps back, swiftly taking off her bikini top.
Paige had never swiveled so hard, almost falling off the sink counter. Paige turned her head halfway before she realized she could see Azzi in the mirror reflection, leading her to close her eyes as fast as possible.
“I know your reputation in the league, but I’m not trying to air out your business on TV, so I’m going to speak like this,” Azzi yells out before turning around, “You can turn around now, it’s just my back.” 
Paige opens her eyes to see Azzi’s long braids flowing down her bare back, the only article of clothing being her bottom bikini. Azzi turned her head to speak. 
“How are you going to judge me on my so-called reputation?” Paige questioned back, getting offended at the “Player” accusations she hated. 
“You ghosted one of my friends, so don’t act surprised I’m cautious of you. I came to the Villa to find love and take home the win.” 
“So did I. You haven’t seen me with Ellie. I have a lot of layers, you’d be surprised.” Paige says with a smirk, her voice growing bolder. 
“Layers? Yeah, ten layers of player. I know what you did to Alyssa.” 
“Alyssa? Who’s that?” Paige asks, racking her brain for possible Alyssa’s in her past.
“Jesus, you don’t even remember her. That’s crazy.” Azzi scoffs accusatorily, “Anyway, don’t worry. I won’t pick you for the date, I’m not going to intrude on you and Ellie. Seems like you guys are happy.” 
Paige watches as Azzi slips her bikini back on. Watching the muscles on her back contract as she pulls her top over her head. Her bare skin was addicting to look 
So addicting, Paige was caught red-handed admiring her as Azzi turned back around. 
“You sure you're happy with Ellie?” Azzi jokes dryly. 
“Very. She’s a great girl. Exactly my type.” Paige challenges back, leaning her body toward Azzi. 
“What is your type, Paige?” 
“Hot, Brunette, Pretty Eyes,” Paige says a little quieter as Azzi steps a little too close for comfort. 
“I see,” Azzi answers, nodding her head. 
“Don’t think I’m calling you my type. You just happen to fit it.” Paige adds weakly. 
“You saying I got pretty eyes? I know I'm the other two.” Azzi asks playfully, opening the door to the shower room. 
“Maybe. Let me look into them longer and I’ll decide.” Paige chirps back, a surge of confidence coursing through her. 
“In your dreams, Bueckers.” Azzi sings out with a laugh as she takes her exit, leaving a mildly dazed Paige on the sink. 
This was certainly going to be an interesting summer in the Villa for Paige. 
-
A/N: I apologize if this is shit, this is just funny for me.
261 notes · View notes
lizzieisright · 7 months
Note
hey hurt/comfort idea:
soo what about the reader and abby being best friends for years and reader always had a crush on abby. they go to a party and abby introduces her new gf to u. she always liked her but thought reader didn’t (always a bit horny around reader, but they know eachother since childhood so abby mistakes readers flirting as being flirty like friends) so reader gets absolutely hartbroken, drinks till she passes out but abby takes care of her ofc. abbys gf is always with her tho so it just hurts even more.
she avoids abby till the next frat prty or smth (maybe it’s college!au) and then they hook up, abby can’t remember cause she’s too drunk and is back w her gf
very messy but i hope u get the idea :P
(also to make it more hurtful make abby mean while she’s drunk bc she’s going through a rough time but isn’t telling anyone)
It took me so long, I'm so sorry
Palestine: what can you do
I've changed a few things (they don't hook up) because I can't deal with cheating, and I couldn't decide on what ending I wanted so there's a poll in the end.
Tags: Modern AU, childhood friends, Angst, pining and unrequited love, of course.
_______________
Abby is a fucking God, and you come to this conclusion when you're 11 and she helps you with your stupid assignment.
When you're both 14 you start to understand that what you feel for her is not, in fact, an admiration. 
You come to this conclusion when you sit in her bedroom and she jokes about teaching you how to kiss because you're a loser and you agree - and yeah, the kiss is a mess, but now you both know that you want to kiss girls. And you want to kiss one girl in particular, but Abby is your best friend and you won’t do anything that will lead to losing her.
Being a God means Abby is out of your reach and you have to live with your stupid feelings.
You're jealous of every boy who jokes around her to get her attention.
You're jealous of every girl who dares to look at her a little too long.
Abby is popular and she starts dating and it breaks your heart every time, and you can't look at other people because all your gods look like Abby.
"Why don't you go on a date?" Abby asks once when you're 16 and you're eating pizza in your bedroom, watching another marvel movie. "I think Jen likes you."
"I don't want to." What would be the point if the only person you want to date won't ever look at you this way?
"Why? Don't you get horny like the rest of us mortals?"
The worst part of being in love with your popular best friend is that she recently lost her virginity and she can't shut up about sex because she is excited about it.
"I have my hand, Abby." You roll your eyes at her.
"But it feels better when the other person does it." Abby winks and puts her hand on your thigh. "It's better, isn't it?" She rubs your thigh and your breath hitches. She looks at you, playful, and goes a little up on your thigh, and your face burns.
"You belong in horny jail, Anderson." You laugh, but don't move her hand: if you move it she'll call you a chicken, but she is a chicken enough herself to not move it further.
And she doesn't.
You live your life peacefully, dealing with your feelings as best as you can.
Then college starts and you're too busy to think about Abby 24/7 and you feel like it gets easier. Like you can breathe around her and you almost don't feel pain when she talks about her sex life.
Almost.
You know it's easy to deal with because all those girls in her bed are temporary while you're in Abby's life forever, and not because your feelings suddenly fainted. Abby likes to sleep around, she is a flirt even with you - a lot, actually, she thinks she can get away with a lot by saying she is touch-starved and then her hands wander off somewhere they're not supposed to be, and you let her, because you'll take whatever you can.
So you go through Abby's fuckboy phase with ease, because sex talk is way better than feelings talk.
A few years pass and suddenly the feelings talk starts, and you're slowly dying inside, because Abby likes someone. Abby talks about how nervous she is around her, she is always on her phone texting her, she is always busy when you want to spend time with her.
You hate this girl with all you have, because she takes Abby away, she takes everything away - Abby is not touchy anymore, she only hugs you briefly when you see her, she is not listening to you half of the time, too caught up in her fantasies.
You hope her girl is a bitch and an asshole and toxic so you can talk Abby out of it, but then Abby tells you she is going to introduce you at the party and you cry yourself to sleep that night.
"How do I look?"
"Like you need Jesus." You say honestly because Abby in the muscle tee and a pair of cargo pants makes you ache.
"Yeah?" Abby looks at you through the mirror with that fucking smirk she knows you like. "Am I fuckable?"
"We both know you prefer to be on the other end of that word, Anderson." You roll your eyes and put your shoes on only to straighten up to Abby's face way too close. She looks you up and down.
"You're very fuckable though."
"Fuck off." You huff and open the door of her apartment, hoping she won't tease you for being flustered. "Let's go before Manny gets so drunk you'll have to carry him. Again."
You spent the night in dread of meeting Abby's girl, dreaming of seeing her red flags or something to have a real reason to hate her to Abby's face, but then Abby lights up and she excuses herself to go and meet her girl, while you try so hard to not throw up from your nerves.
The girl is gorgeous.
"This is (y/n)." Abby motions at you and you smile politely. "This is Mia."
"I'm so happy to meet you." Mia smiles and she looks kind and genuine and fuck, you can't hate her. There's no jealousy in her, no fake smiles, no tense body language. "Abby loves you so much."
You swallow hard.
"I put up with so much of her shit, she doesn't have a choice." You joke and Mia laughs.
Mia is funny and cute and you understand why Abby likes her, because it's impossible not to. Mia is a type of girl that you'd think of as a bitch because she is popular, therefore arrogant, but when you get to know her she is a total sweetheart who'd help you find a way to your class if she notices you're lost.
This is hard.
This is going to break you.
You can't cope with this. You can't cope with seeing Abby's gentle gaze on Mia, with her careful touch and constant care. So you excuse yourself and go to the bar to get drunk, as if you can drown your feelings by dragging them to the bottom of the bottle. You dance and you drink, you dance and you drink and repeat it five other times until all long islands make you feel sick and you can't walk by yourself anymore. You're an independent woman and you refuse to ask for help, but when you can't order a taxi for the fifth time because your eyes are so blurry, Mia comes to you and holds you by your elbow.
"We will take you home, okay?" She says kindly and you feel your lips tremble. We.
"Jus- can you c'll a taxi f'me?" You slur, but you feel Abby's hand on your waist as she supports you. "Don't wanna ruin your night."
"You're not ruining anything." Mia says cheerfully and orders a taxi when Abby gives her your address. "Happens to the best of us."
The drive home makes you super dizzy and Abby has to put her hand between your head and the car door because you hit it all the time. The moment the car stops and Abby goes around to help you get on your legs, you throw up on the ground and it's a miracle you don't get everyone's shoes dirty.
Abby decides to carry you to your place and you can't shut up even for a second.
"I'm s'sorry guys. Not a good first impression. I really like you, Mia. You look kind. Like a grandma. In a good way, I'm sorry." Mia giggles. "Your laugh is very cute. It's cute, right Abby?"
"Yeah." Abby agrees quietly and what you don't know is that for her your drunken rant was way cuter than her girlfriend's laugh.
"Yeah. You look great together, I'm s'happy for you Abby. Haven't seen her that nervous because of a girl in years, can you imagine, Mia? You make this asshole nervous." You're chuckling sadly, you want to cry because you don't make Abby nervous.
No, you just embarrass her in front of her girlfriend because you're so pathetically in love you can't deal with it and drink half of the bar until you forget how to walk on your own.
Abby helps you change and Mia gives you water. She makes sure there is fresh air in your room and she tucks your blanket, and you close your eyes to hide your tears because Mia is so nice. She is a dream girl and Abby is so happy and there is no space for you anymore.
Because Mia took your place in that forever equation.
On the next day you text your apologies to both Abby and Mia (she followed you on instagram and asked you how you felt) and you can't deal with this. It hurts so much because you love Abby so much and you want her to be happy but it seems like the price of it is going to be your heart.
So you start avoiding her as best as possible, and what is more sad - it's not even that hard. Abby is always with Mia, fuck, Mia even asks you to come with them to hang out, which you always find an excuse not to. Library, fever, other plans, other plans again, sorry, paper is due tomorrow, my aunt is in town (she is not). Anything to not meet with them.
You still see Abby during classes and you give each other life updates, but it's been weeks since you actually hung out and you accept the reality that yes, there's no place for you in Abby's life anymore.
You cry every fucking night.
Then Abby suddenly remembers you exist and she asks you if you want to hang out, just the two of you, because she misses you. You miss her too and you agree.
You regret it the moment she cuddles you in front of her tv. She has a girlfriend now, why is she so touchy again? Did something happen with Mia that Abby came to you?
"Is everything okay with Mia?"
"Yeah, she is great." Abby says and buries her nose in your neck.
No. You can't deal with this.
So you start avoiding Abby at all costs after this - you can't shake the feeling that this is cheating, because for you Abby's touch has never been platonic, no. And it never felt platonic either, it was always giving you hope because Abby was flirting and touching the way friends don't touch each other. Maybe one day she'd finally give you a chance, you thought, but this day never came.
It is another party a month and half later - yay, Abby and Mia have been together for two months now! - and you don't know if Abby is going to come, but you hope she doesn't. You know she knows something is up and she will want her answers if she meets you.
But you have fun. You play games, you drink, you dance, you get flirted with and you forget about your pain just to get so drunk again you can't help but go outside to find a place to cry in peace.
You miss Abby, you miss her because she is a part of you and yes, you're in love with her, but she also your best fucking friend and you hate yourself for being in love with her, because it ruins your life. It has been ruining your life since you were fourteen and actually understood what you felt, but now it was getting serious.
"(Y/n)?"
Fuck.
You wipe your tears and look at Abby who is standing right in front of you.
"Hi." You squeak and she drops on the knees to look at you.
"Did something happen? Why are you crying?"
"I'm just sad. Don't worry." You try to smile but Abby's frown makes you cry more. "I'm going home anyway, so you can enjoy the party."
"What the hell are you saying? I'm not leaving you."
She should. She should leave you and not complicate it further.
Abby calls a taxi and you chuckle in your head - If you had a nickel for every time Abby was taking your drunk ass home, you'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
You tell her as much because the meme is funny and you try to be positive.
Abby helps you out of the car and this time you don't throw up.
"You know, last time I totally embarrassed myself in front of Mia." You chuckle and make your way upstairs with Abby's arm around your waist. "She is cute, I'm so happy for you."
Abby chuckles and leads you inside your apartment, but between the two of you she is mostly sober and she has some questions, and she wants her answers. You know this too, so when you sit on your sofa you feel like all your shields are crumbling: you’re giving up on hiding this from her. If this is the end, so be it.
"You've been avoiding me." Abby says quietly, looking you in your eyes like she is just a little bit mad. 
"Yeah, I know." You admit with a chuckle. "You have a girlfriend now, it's so cool. When was the last time you liked someone like that? Back in school?"
"So you've been avoiding me on purpose." 
"I don't think you can avoid someone accidentally, Abby.” You say, not holding back your venom. “Anyway, I’m so happy for you.”
“Why are you avoiding me?” Abby moves closer to you  and you swallow your tears because there’s nowhere to run.
“Because it’s easier.” You shrug. “I just want you to be happy, okay? Does Mia make you happy?”
“Yeah.” Abby admits and you start crying again: it hurts so fucking much. 
“Good. It’s good. I’m happy for you.” You sniffle and Abby huffs, annoyed.
“Stop saying that. Stop avoiding my questions.”
Inside you all hell breaks loose.
“I love you, okay?” You finally burst. “I love you, and it hurts so fucking bad and I can’t fucking see you with her or know that you’re with her! What do you want me to do? What would you do if you were me? I can’t- I can’t-” You throw your hands desperately and bite your lip, too angry with this whole situation.
“I love you too.” Abby says, confused.
“No, no Abby, you don’t understand.” You’re quiet and angry, almost spitting every word out. “I’m in love with you. I’m not jealous as a friend, Abby. I’m jealous because I want to be in her place, okay? Fuck, I wanted to be in your every girl’s place since you started dating girls!” 
There is silence. You thought it would be terrifying - this silence - but right now you feel nothing except how dizzy your head is. You feel empty and there's no tears anymore. Abby stares at you in shock, her fists clenched, and you chuckle cynically. 
“So can I continue avoiding you now or should I suffer more?”
“Fuck, (y/n)..” Abby sighs and rubs her forehead, going over her face with her palm. “Fuck. Don't do this to me.”
“Well.” You huff, annoyed. “Not like I have a fucking choice, Anderson.”
Abby throws her head back and stares at the ceiling while you do the same, trying to keep your drunk ass stable. You feel like eternity passes before Abby speaks again, and it is strangely comforting, having your best friend here with you, in this boat of pain, and sharing it with her. 
“All these years. All these years we could have been together.” Abby sounds like she is mourning. 
You thought your heart broke when you met Mia? Forget it, it's broken now.
You sob, howl almost, and Abby is suddenly holding you in her arms, placing kisses to your hair. Her heart can't handle seeing you cry, never could - yes, she tried to move on with Mia, and it worked partially, but all her effort went to shit just now. You're the most precious girl to her and nothing can change it. Abby swallows and braces herself, suddenly making a decision in her head, all her anxiety about what is a right thing to do gone. 
“You know what? Fuck it. Fuck all that time we've missed. I'm not letting you go now.” Abby says in your ear and you sob even more violently. “Come on, baby, I'm here. Let me see your face.”
You can't believe it. You can't even process it: is it your drunken dream? Are you hallucinating? It would definitely not be the first time. But you look up at Abby and she gently wipes your tears and there’s so much love and hurt in her eyes it’s hard not to break into another sobbing fit. 
“I've been in love with you since we were seventeen.” Abby smiles at you and you shakily smile back. “I’m sorry it came to this. But I'm here now.”
“I love you.” You say feverishly and Abby's restraint breaks.
She kisses you hungrily, practically devouring you, and you're weak, so you return her kiss and press into her, soaking in her warmth and strength. Abby is solid and tender, she holds you like she cares and you cling to her for a moment.
But then you remember yourself and push Abby away, shaking your head.
“No. You're better than this. You're not going to betray Mia like this. I'm not going to let you, Abby. We're not doing this,” You motion between yourself and her. “Behind your girlfriend's back. And I'm also fucking drunk.”
Abby chuckles and kisses your forehead. 
“Come on, I'll help you get into your bed.”
Everything else after is a blur as Abby helps you change and covers you with your blanket, and you fall asleep. You can't wait for the morning to come.
****
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lovebugism · 2 years
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☄. *. ⋆ ┄ Feel Good
summary: you don't come. ever. well... not until steve harrington comes along. pairing: steve harrington / f!reader warnings: the longest headcanon ever, talks of shitty boyfriends and masturbation, pure smut 18+ mdni! a/n: if you saw this before the repost... no you didn't. and to the anon that requested this: i hope you like it!
( MASTERLIST )
you don't come
this is not an exaggeration
it's purely a statement of fact
because you’ve never ever had an orgasm
not one
not with your fingers, not with a toy, not with a partner, not ever
you get pretty close sometimes
if you're in the right mindset and you have enough time (and a partner who isn't totally focused on their own pleasure
you can actually get really, really close
it’s kinda like climbing a steep mountain and nearly reaching the top
or seeing a glimmer light at the end of the dark tunnel
it always ends the same way, though
you fall from the peak. darkness swallows you whole. the feeling of bliss swells and then disappears entirely.
some of your partners have come up with their own theories
one said you internalized your religious upbringing and turn away from pleasure without thinking
another insisted that it wasn’t their fault they couldn’t make you come because your clit was just too small
the last one told you that you just “needed to love yourself more”
it was exhausting, quite honestly
your partners became your therapist, trying to pry into your mind and diagnose you accordingly
you were an experiment to them
they tried every position and motion to try and get you there, though sometimes it felt like they were only doing it because it felt good for them
some didn’t bother trying at all
they got frustrated with you, called you broken, and left to find someone “normal”
and it fucking sucked
so somewhere down the line, you just started faking it
because that was easier than having those uncomfortable conversations and waiting until they inevitably left you
that ultimately led to you avoiding relationships all together
and then you met steve
and you liked steve
screw that, you liked liked steve
he wasn’t like all the rest of the partners that fucked you over
and for the first time in a long time, you had a really good feeling about the whole thing
but you were terrified of screwing it up
and you were also terrified of lying to him
you were able to avoid it for the most part
that is, until he was about to go down on you for the first time
he’s got you on your back with his head between your legs
you tense when he presses a kiss to your thigh 
“you okay?”
“i don’t come” you blurt
“…what?”
“i don’t know why. i’ve just never been able to. and it’s not because of you, okay? so i don’t want you to think you’re doing something wrong or that i don’t want to do this, because holy shit i wanna do this so bad—”
and you’re just rambling
mostly because you feel like if you keep talking, it’ll keep him from saying something you don’t wanna hear
steve just nods and shoots you a small smile from between your legs
“that’s ok :)”
and you breathe out the biggest sigh of relief
because no one’s ever not made a huge deal about it
“can i still make you feel good?”
you just nod down at him bc you don’t trust your voice to say something intelligible
he gives you head that night and he’s good
he’s great actually
but you don’t come
the sex is even better
he makes an effort to find ways that’ll make it feel better for you
he’ll put pillows beneath your hips and push your legs up towards your chest when he’s on top of you
he’ll tell you all the ways to position yourself when you’re on top of him
with one leg bent and your foot flat on the bed so he’s hitting your sweet spot every time he drills into you
and it’s never about him
it never feels like he’s doing crazy positions to exploit you under the guise of “blowing your mind”
most guys only wanted to get you off so that they could feel like some kind of sex god
but steve genuinely wants you to feel good
and he’s so willing to learn your body to help you feel good
one time he sat himself behind you with his chin hooked over your shoulder
“show me how you do it” he said to you
and you did
but it didn't feel like you were some experiment to him either
it was so fucking hot
he made a show out of it, asking you to tell him everything you were doing to yourself and how it felt
“does that feel good?”
“it feels so good—” you interrupt yourself as your mouth falls open in a silent moan and your legs start to tense up
“oh that’s the spot, huh?”
and he likes to learn about all the times you’ve gotten the closest
even though to you it’s mortifying
you’re red in the face the entire time you tell him the only time you ever thought you might actually come was with the shower head
you get embarrassed and hide your face in his shoulder
he’s just like “no, it’s sexy! we can try that if you want?”
but you’re scared that might be a little too exposing and that there would be way too much pressure on you
as always, he’s the most understanding person on the planet
“that’s okay. we don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do. ever.”
and he makes you feel so safe and cared for 
even when you get defeated
because both of you try so hard but you just can’t get there
and after he’s spent an hour between your legs switching between his fingers and his mouth
you start crying out of pure and utter frustration
“steve stop. just stop. there’s no point. let’s just quit.”
and obv when you tell him to stop he’s gonna stop
but he can tell how sad you are when your back is to him and you're putting your clothes back on
and he tries not to smile when you get all twisted in your bra bc you’re so moody that you don’t put it on the right way
“it’s okay baby, we can keep trying—”
“no, steve, it’s not okay! i just don’t get why i can’t be like normal people!”
“there’s nothing wrong with you, okay? some girls just have a harder time than others. it’s okay to come less than other people”
“less?” you scoff “how about never?”
and he’s still patient with you
even while you’re ranting and getting all angry at him and yourself
“i don’t even know why you still try! it’s never gonna happen, okay? ever. you get that, right? there’s no point in trying. you should just find someone else—”
that’s when he stops you
“okay. that’s enough.”
he walks to you where you’re standing in nothing but your bra and underwear and your jeans that you shoved on but didn't button before you started ranting
“it doesn’t matter if you come or not— well, it does, but that’s not what this is about, okay? it doesn’t have to be about having an orgasm. when i’m with you, it doesn’t feel like i’m trying to accomplish something. it’s just about two people who love each other, spending time together, and feeling good”
“…you love me?”
“…was that not obvious?”
the two of you spend the rest of the night cuddling after that
and he’s adamant about not making it about sex
though he keeps having to apologize for his boner pressing into your back
a few days later he surprises you with a present, all wrapped up in with a pretty bow on top
“is it christmas?” you joke at the reindeer patterned wrapping paper
“sorry. that’s all i could find at the house.”
and it’s this huge fuck off vibrator that you know must’ve costed a fortune
you’re totally flustered when you open it and you have no idea what to do with yourself
but he’s so smiley and tells you that he wants to try it with you
and it’s really fucking good
it makes the already amazing sex that much better
you’re on your sides with him pressed against your back
and he holds it against your clit while he fucks you from behind
(he’s having an even better time too because he can feel the vibrations of it from inside of you)
you get the closest you’ve ever been like that
he watches intently when you press your face into your pillow
“are you close?”
you nod wordlessly
“i think… fuck— i think i might come”
and he starts fucking you harder, finding your spot and hitting it over and over again with the vibe still pressed attentively to your clit
a cry rises in your throat and escapes your mouth
and right when you think you might actually have your first orgasm
it fucking goes away
“fuck!”
steve can tell it’s not an exclamation of pleasure, but one of anger
he asks if you wanna keep going
you tell him he can until he comes but that you’re not gonna get there
like a doctor, he prescribes masturbation
and you spend exactly one week using the vibrator by yourself and trying to use it different ways that get you closer and closer
you’re on your back with it pressed into your opening while fiercely rubbing at your clit
and you feel yourself getting closer and closer and closer
it builds in an achingly familiar way
but when the feeling usually starts to ebb, it keeps going
the pleasure crescendos, numbs, and then explodes
having the house to yourself, you don’t bother holding back the noises, the almost painful sounding moans, as they spill from your mouth
the first thing you do when your senses return to you, is call steve
even though it’s 2 a.m.
and when he answers, he’s all groggy with sleep but he’s immediately ecstatic for you
he’s over at your place in ten minutes tops after your promise of recreating it for him
and you’re just absolutely gushing about it and thanking him a ton
because he’s the one who got you the vibrator after all
he wants you to tell him everything so you do
you tell him how you were laying and what you where thinking about
*cough cough* him
and what your fingers were doing and how the real trick was putting the vibe partly inside of you
and you don’t think about how it might make him insecure until the words are spilling from your mouth
because you’ve known guys in the past who get intimidated by dildos and vibrators out of fear that they could never compete with them
steve does express a little bit of that insecurity
he tries to cover it up by joking about how much bigger the toy is than his dick and how pretty soon he’ll be replaced altogether
and he’s laughing but you can tell it isn’t genuine because it doesn’t reach his eyes
so you tell him that you love every single part of him including his dick and that him ‘getting replaced’ is never happening in a million, billion years
when you start trying to get yourself to come again you make sure he’s involved too
both of you are kneeling on your bed and you’re gripping the headboard while he’s fucking into you from behind
one hand is clutching yours and the other is rubbing at your clit
you’ve got the vibrator pressed where you and steve meet
and you can feel him all over you
he’s mouthing at your neck and shoulder
and using his free hand to hold you and tease your nipples
you feel the pleasure start to build and your face scrunches up while you moan
and steve talks you all the way through it
“there you go. you got it— no, don’t tense up, baby, just let it happen... uh-huh, there it is. come for me, baby. come for me.”
and you do
catastrophically so
you tense so hard it almost hurts and you’re shaking like a leaf in his hold
the pleasure is numbing at first before hitting you like a fuck freight train
and you’d be embarrassed about the noises you were making if it didn’t feel so damn good and steve wasn’t praising you the entire way through
“there you go, baby. feels good, huh? you’re so— fuck, you’re getting so tight around me. can barely… holy shit… i can barely fucking move—”
you’re laughing in pure bliss when you feel him coming inside of you
he presses his weight against you and sprinkles wet kisses to your neck, humming praises onto your skin
when you come down and collect your bearings you confess to him, still caught in the post-sex haze, “it didn’t… it didn’t feel like that before…”
“no?”
“uh-uh. felt, like, a thousand times fucking better… 'cause you were here”
and he gets all sweet and blushy, saying he didn’t really do much
but you tell him that it was all him and that he helped you a ton
that he always helps you
“you’re the best sex i’ve ever had steve harrington, orgasm or not”
and this boy is blushing so hard you can see it in the tips of his ears
both of you are love-drunk and happy and dazed
he spends the rest of the night fucking you into your mattress
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cremedensada · 6 months
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I’m gonna need general hcs on interactions with the boy next door… like what if we just moved to town and we first meet him as we’re moving in… Also can they be in like highschool? I don’t know if that’s already the gist but yeah. She’s moving in with her mom and he’s there…
Yandere Boy Next Door
sorry anon i think i went way to far away from what you wanted shdhdh also theyre senior high school students (grade 11 - 12) which is like, two preparatory years for college. so theyre adults bc im much more comfortable with that :33
btw his name is lukas !! he's named now
male yandere + gender neutral darling/reader
lukas is easily approachable - he's got that warmth about him that just draws people in. it's all practiced to maintain his popularity though.
he's also a huge people-pleaser, despite the fact he easily gets burnt out and has his social battery drained.
so when his mom asked him to be a dear and help the new neighbor's kid on their way around the school + neighborhood, he just couldn't say no
sure he's tired, possibly close to having another breakdown just thinking about being pestered by fellow students for answers to homeworks and other menial stuff, but he still manages to say yes and give her another perfectly practiced smile
when he goes over to the house next to theirs - the ones you moved in to, you had no lasting impression on him
now, don't be mistaken, he does think you're good looking but at the end of the day he'd much rather curl up in bed and sleep
so he puts up that perfectly crafted persona and invites you to head to school with him. a new environment is much easier to deal with when you're not dealing with it by yourself! (or something like that)
he tries not to be overbearing, trying to get you to open up while also making sure he's respecting your boundaries and comfort as you made your way inside the school gates
you don't share the same classes, so he asks you for your time table so he knows your schedule
he hopes he's not being creepy or anything, he's just making sure your first day transferring here goes well
sure he's known for being a caring person in general but he does feel like it's his responsibility to make sure you're doing well you know? you're neighbors now, you guys should get along!
it's smooth sailing until it's time you guys finally went home
like that morning, he waits for you and invites you to walk home with him to familiarize with the shortcuts and local lounging spots for students
all the while he tries to get you to talk about your experience today
it must be due to the amount of stress piled up on his plate that lead him to feel... nervous.
his perfect persona cracking as his calm demeanour and collected way of talking slowly devolved into nervous tangents talking about anything at all
were you displeased? his perfection was practiced and polished since he was a kid, was it still not enough for you?
he could handle disappointing people a lot better now but paired with his currently leaning towards unstable, your displeasure is something that's slowly tearing him from the inside
he's jolted out of his thoughts when you suddenly speak up.
"thanks for showing me around. i thought i was going to struggle getting used to things all by myself."
you smiled up at him. "so... yeah. you're... okay."
his heart thumped.
everywhere all around him feels a ton of degrees warmer.
"...okay." lukas was tongue tied.
on the remainder of the journey back home, he walked you to your house, ensuring you got inside safely before making a beeline towards their house and into his room.
normally at this hour he'd be passed out in bed, tired after a whole day of pretending and smiling. today was perhaps the first time he didn't go to bed with his cheeks hurting and aching from smiling so much.
laying in bed, making an excuse as to why he's not going to be joining for dinner, just thinking about you and your words.
lukas grew up living to the standards of being perfect. a perfect son. a perfect student. a perfect friend.
anything less is... unacceptable to say the least. when you do or think of something so often in your day to day life, it becomes a habit. and lukas' habit is perfection.
but you thought he was okay.
okay.
suddenly 'okay' sounds much better than being perfect.
suddenly your opinion towards him becomes much more important than anyone else's.
lukas is a people pleaser, and onwards from that moment, the only 'people' he will ever want to please is you.
i hope this is sufficient? i'm actually v sleepy rn lol but thank you for the idea!
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dulcewrites · 2 years
Text
Fool Me Once (pt 2)
Pairing: Aemond targaryen x reader (wc: 3.6k)
Summary: Despite learning about Aemond cheating on you, life has never been sweeter. Who knew being so bad could be so good.
Warnings: manipulation, mentions/allusions to pregnancy issues, mentions of self harm
A/N: first, I just have to say thank you for the response to part 1. I truly had no idea it would get the reception it would. Thank you to everyone who followed me as well. I hope I can continue to produce stuff y’all like. I’m hoping to write more hotd stuff, Aemond and non Aemond related. I plan on taking a small hiatus but will be back around thanksgiving weekend. I will be writing on/off during that time but just away for a trip/the holiday. If you have any hotd requests my inbox is always open. I would try to get them out either before my hiatus next week (11/16) or after it ends (11/26). I’m pretty open to writing any character, though I will warn you I’m way more fascinated by the greens so they just come easier to me. Anyway please reblog, like, and follow if you read anything you enjoy 🫶🏽🫶🏽. And some housekeeping: in this Aegon is not r*pist who enjoys watching children fight (the hotd are truly…. not right for the cartoonishly evil way they wrote Aegon). He’s just petty and neglected. Also the timing of this is different from the books bc Aemond meets Alys pre dance.
Fmo masterlist
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A bastard Strong. The irony is not lost on you. Your straight-laced husband fucking someone who is the complete opposite you. Older, no kids, no title, and no duty to uphold. At this point, it doesn’t hurt anymore. Instead, it makes your blood boil in the most delicious way. Aemond’s betrayal made you realize how you’ve been going through the motions; endlessly sleepwalking, hoping one day Aemond would come around. It woke you up to how much he’s taken advantage of you. He sees your kindness, and aversion to standing out as a weakness. Something he can manipulate and twist like one of his daggers.
The both of you must have forgetten where you came from. A rich, well respected house. The only daughter of smart, albeit conniving, family that knows how to get what they want. Your family didn’t have dragons or absurd ideas of exceptionalism to help you gain power. You’ve learned that inflated egos and prideful indulges can cloud Targaryen judgment. A trait you hope skips your children.
Shame on you for thinking Aemond would be different. Shame on him for the carefully curated facade.
All you do after Larys Strong comes to you the first time is think. You can’t remember the last time you’ve had this many options in front of you. Your mother’s words about patience run through your head. Keeping your wits is key. Play your hand too quickly, and you lose all leverage. You have Daella and the babe in your belly to think about. You stood pat in the beginning; Lord Strong simply relaying messages to you. You make sure Alys gets the letter Aemond wrote, and the ones after that. Lord Larys makes sure you get the details of each letter exchanged.
When the days grew lonely, and your body aches because of the babe in your stomach, you think about the letters. The declarations of love and recounts of lust filled meetups simmer in your head, but it’s the mentions of you that makes the anger sizzle and crackle. It makes the guilt you feel wash away.
You question if the rumor is true. That his Alys is a witch. Does her magic allow her to see the way Helaena can? Fuzzy premonitions and dreams that only make sense after they happen; a gift and a curse. A part of you wishes it to be true. You hope while your stomach stirs with untold truths, hers stirs with regret. Maybe the pain that runs through you leaves an unfamiliar taste in her mouth. That she can’t quite put her finger on it, but she feels you.
You wonder if when Aemond prays, he asks the Father to protect him… to protect her. The same way when you pray, you ask the Warrior to help you find the courage to destroy him.
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It started with a bruise. A bruise that you don’t even remember how you got. Maybe one of those things you just wake up with. But it’s there, on the inside part of your left arm. It’s starting to fade but an otherwise noticeable bruise that stands out when you wear something with shorter sleeves.
The idea doesn’t come to you till you see the curiosity in Alicent’s eyes when you absentmindedly rub the bruise while asking if she’s seen Aemond. It’s only you two in the walkway; an unusually quiet day at the Red Keep. Her eyes go from it to the far away look in your eyes. It makes her tilt her head in thought.
“No dear, I haven’t,” her eyes go back to the scratch. “Are you doing alright? I know for some, the second babe can be even harder than the first.”
You look down at your arm, and something just clicks.
“I’m fine,” you start, then you make your voice tremble a bit. “I will be fine. I think I’m just tired.”
You give her a strained smile, and she returns one that tells you she doesn’t believe you. You can feel her big brown eyes burning into your back when you walk past her towards your chambers. There could be two thoughts in her head: you did this yourself or someone else did it to you. Either way, her son’s sweet pregnant lady wife is not doing well, and her son is nowhere to be found. Queen Alicent is one of the smartest, if not the smartest, person you know. She sees the change in her son; the change in the dynamic between Aemond and you.
It hits you. It would be too easy to physically harm Aemond. Though the idea of taking the blade that hangs from his hips and putting it to his throat has crossed your mind more times than you’re proud of. It would be too easy to get Larys to kill Alys. You don’t want to give Aemond the satisfaction of having his whore’s blood on your hands.
Where’s the fun in killing when your rage could be channeled into something more… methodical.
Under all that false bravado is the little boy who got picked on for not having a dragon. To break the man means bringing out that little boy. A truly broken man can’t love anyone. Isolation, and self hatred. What a gorgeous combination for your dear husband.
If this is going to work you need to up the ante.
So, you write. If Aemond and Alys can document their love, you can document your pain. You sent your lady in waiting out to get a blank book from one of the maesters. The color dyed cow skin feels smooth under your hands. There needs to be a slow build. Each day you grow closer and closer to shattering. Whoever reads it needs to know Aemond brought you to this place. He is the villain in the story of the poor, innocent wife that did nothing but carry his children and try to love him.
It will read like a diary, but to you it is a creation. A mixture of truth and imagination. A manifestation of pent up feelings. Purging and revenge all rolled up into one. You make sure to mention how terrified you are for your safety, and for you children’s safety. How an angry or disenchanted Aemond is nothing to toy with, especially if he has a bastard witch on his side. How maybe life would be better for Aemond if you just weren’t around.
But this fading bruise isn’t enough. Neither is just having a diary that will be discovered in due time. A deep cut, a dark bruise, half hazardously placed hand prints.. now that could work.
There’s something cathartic about the pain you feel when the dagger slices through your skin. The blood is so red and warm. It smears so smoothly on the page. Blood on your dress, cloth pressed to the wound, and wandering the halls is how Ser Criston finds you. You notice the worried, confused look in his eyes when you stutter out an ‘I don’t know’ when he asks what happened.
As the maester tends to your wound, you notice how Alicent and Criston stand in the corner of Alicent’s quarters. They occasionally glance at you while they whisper to each other. You recognize the familiar crinkle she gets in her forehead when she’s upset. All her children do it too.
“Sweetling, we both think it might be a good idea to give you your own knight of the kingsguard,” she sits next you. “Just to help you and… keep an eye on you during this vulnerable time.”
You blink. Not one mention of her son. But it’s clear to see how Ser Criston is with his queen. Submissive, and utterly devoted. Having someone like that is an asset. So, you smile weakly and nod. The more people who see you in this way, the better.
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Ser Quinton Throne was quiet in the beginning. As if he was scared to be in your space. A far cry from the rambunctious knight his brother, Rickard, is. Moving past the initial shyness, he is attentive and even indulges Daella’s fascination with him. Despite you telling her not to, she would always run up to him, tugging on his white cloak to get his attention. She likes having someone around just as much as you.
The distance between Aemond and you had started to carry over into his relationship with Daella. Kids are more intuitive than adults give them credit for. Your throat felt tight when you daughter finally asks where father goes. You lie; it comes easy to you, easier than you thought it would. It makes you think if this is how easy it is for Aemond to lie to you. Or for everyone to not gloss over the clear problems in your life.
You would lying if you said it wasn’t nice having a man around, even if it was his job. It was Aemond’s job to do right by you, and he couldn’t do that. A man carrying out his orders with a warm smile was welcomed. The comfort of having someone who sweared his allegiances to you, and only you, and intended on keeping them.
You look from your embroidery loop to see Daella and Ser Quinton sword fighting with wooden swords. It’s an uncharacteristically sunny day. Perfect to get much needed fresh air, and apparently going to battle.
“She’s gotten quite good.”
Like a storm rolling in to ruin a sunny day, your husband’s tone is ever cold and distant. You hate the uncomfortable energy that radiates when he sits next to you.
“Yes, she has,” you stare at the Lysene lilac flower starting to come to life on your loop. “He’s good with her as well.”
You know he won’t like you saying that. He hates Quinton being around, and he especially hates how Daella taken a liking to him. Aemond scoffs and mumbles something under his breath you can’t make out.
“It’s just lovely having real protector around,” you continue to push your luck. “Someone so attentive and… strong.“
You look at with his a sickening sweet smile. He opens his mouth to say something, a complaint or rude comment since those seem to be the only reasons he talks to you, but he is interrupted by Daella yelling out for him.
“We’ll talk about this later,” he mutters to you, getting up.
“Oh you’ll actually be here long enough for that?”
The words slip out your mouth and it makes him turn to glare at you. It reminds you of the gossip you heard about him when you first arrived at court. How cold the king’s second son can be. It should’ve been a warning to you.
Quinton takes it as his cue to leave them be; you know he can sense how much Aemond doesn’t appreciate his presence. You watch as Daella clings to her father. As selfish as it sounds, you patiently wait for the day she too realizes he can’t be depended on.
“My mother used to make me embroider,” your knight’s voice breaks you out of looking on. “Something about being dangerous with a needle is just as great as being dangerous with a sword.”
You take a good look at him. If Aemond is the moon - ethereal, mysterious, and always changing, then Quinton is the sun. Bright, forward facing, and shines brighter with time. His choppy black hair, beard, and warm standing in contrast to your husband’s Targaryen features.
“Sounds like a smart woman,” you smile as he sits next to you.
His eyes linger on your embroidery work before traveling to you right arm. The blade wound was just starting to scab and scar over. His first day on duty was marked by seeing your husband give a long lecture on safety and ‘using your brain’ after Aemond saw your wound. The blade cut wasn’t under pure circumstances, but the look of resentment on your face was real. He saw that. He’s never asked what really happened to your arm.
“How are you my lady,” he whispers. You told him he can address you by your name, but he still insist on the formal names especially around others. “Is the babe giving you trouble.”
Ser Quinton, Helaena, and Alicent are the only people that seem to care about your well being, on top of the babe’s. Aemond concern went making sure the babe was fine to just not asking all together. It’s better that way, you think. You don’t think you’d be able to take fake concern about your little ‘mistake’.
“My bladder is being pushed on, I’m finding clumps of my hair on my pillow, and Maester Oliver told me this baby will weigh more than Daella did,” you reply lightly. “But other than that I’m doing fine.”
This pregnancy had knocked you on your ass. You’re sure the stress and thoughts that consume you don’t help. You know how it feels to come into a fracture family; it makes you feel awful for the babe in your stomach. Your parents tried hard, frankly too hard, to pretend things were good between them. Trying to prove their union was more than a duty for their houses. Till this day, you don’t know what’s worse: knowing they didn’t share that love or the years you watched them fake everything. They had ambitions, and to carry them out there needed to be an appearance of an united front. You took your father’s lead, knowing he always tried to have your best interest. The relationship you have with your mother often ebbing and flowing, especially since your marriage.
When you ravened your mother about your pregnancy troubles, she tells you that this is your responsibility to your husband. Harsh and utterly true. You don’t know if your father ever had indiscretions like Aemond, but you know she’d never plot the way you do. Her calculating nature showing up in different ways. Instead of going after him, she chose to focus on elevating you.
Her and Queen Alicent remind you of each other. Devoted to a fault. A victim who had no other choice but to fall in line.You pray for the both of them. Pray that they find peace with the sacrifices they’ve made. Pray that you never get that far. A shell of yourself. Duty, responsibility, cleaning up others’ messes - what a dull way to live.
“Once he’s out, I’m sure it will all be worth it,” says Ser Quinton, voice not wavering.
He’s trying to be kind, mentioning the working theory in the castle that you’re having a boy. You try to smile at the thought. It’s hard to believe that. Plan or not, you still have to know the truth about the father of your children. There is hole left in your heart about that. Him disrespecting you is one thing, but his words pertaining to your unborn child is another. A sudden spurt of anger rushes over you thinking about everything. It makes you stand abruptly.
“I’m feeling tired,” you watch as Daella pretend to stab her father with her sword. Her giggles ringing out when he reaches to pick her up. The dichotomy of Aemond Targaryen will always fascinate you as much as it terrifies you. How he manages to smile in her face, and lie to yours is quite a sight to watch. “I’ll send Margret out to get Daella.”
Waiting for the perfect moment is not going to work. There no time like the present.
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The stiff upper lip of this family is something you noticed the moment you stepped into their presence. It’s seeped into the way they gatekeep a dying Viserys. Alicent is cold and collected in the most beautiful way. A sharp glittering icicle. A pretty rose littered with thorns to keep you admiring from a distance. Even Helaena, who you consider a friend, keeps certain things close to the chest. It’s better to keep the full truth away from her.
But there’s Aegon.
Pitiful, and lonely Prince Aegon. A drunk with a bad attitude. But he’s also the most painfully self-aware person you know. There will be times that you and him exchange looks, as you are in on the joke. That everything is a farce. One day someone will just come up and say it’s all been a bad dream. You think it’s the reason why he frustrates Aemond so much. The teasing on top of him never taking the Targaryen name seriously. Aegon spends his days trying to drink and fuck his way out of thinking about his life. Stuck in a royal cuckold. The first born son of a king with nothing to show for it.
He’s messy, nosy, and so openly brash. He’s your missing chess piece. The perfect pawn.
You leave the diary around places in the castle you know he will be. It’s not until you conveniently leave it in the play room where all Daella, Jaehaera, and Jaehaerys all frequent that you know he’s taken the bait. His lilac eyes seem to follow you whenever you two are in the same room. It takes days for him to confront you; book in hand and wry look on his face.
“Is it true? Everything you wrote?”
You stroke your belly while looking at him, a small smile on your face.
“Does it matter that if it is,” you tilt your head, and his eyes glitter with something you’re not used to seeing.
He mirrors your head tilt with a full blown smile on his face this time. It’s like a bright light after weeks of darkness. A person who also sees through the bullshit that enraptures once you call yourself a Targaryen.
“I greatly underestimated you my good sister,” he whispers. You know he’s thinking about his own words. ‘Pretty but horribly dull’.
“That’s fine,” you motion to the seat next to you. “You can make it up to me.”
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Queen Alicent stands facing the fire. Aegon, Helaena, and Ser Quinton off to the side. All of them standing across from where you sit. Aegon gives you a knowing look while Quinton’s eyes are filled with pity and anger. Pity for his princess, anger towards his prince. Helaena looks like she wants to say something.
“I… do not know what to say,” her voice is strained with pain. You know this hurts for her. The image of the perfect son being destroyed. The pedestal she put him on crumbling before him.
You’ve gotten better at crying after Aegon told you tears will be necessary to sell it. It’s an automatic response now. The perfectly timed emotion that breaks like flood gates when Alicent holds out the diary. You say you’re embarrassed. That you never meant for anyone to read it, especially not anyone in the family. Aegon gets to be the concerned good brother. He rubbed your back, while his mother called for Helaena. She needed to know who else knew about this.
“I can say what everyone is thinking,” Aegon pipes up. “He’s a fucking cunt.”
“Aegon.”
His mother turns to glare at him, but it doesn’t deter him.
“Walking around with that self righteousness just to fuck a Strong,” he scoffs. “Calling his child a mistake?”
The words makes Alicent sigh, and squeeze her eyes shut. Helaena continues to play with her fingers with a quizzical look in her eye. If Aegon of all people can judge, the actions must be bad.
“This all my fault,” you decide to take it up a notch. Your breath catches. “I must’ve done something to deserve this.”
“Oh my sweet girl,” Alicent walks over and sits next to you, pulling you into her chest. “None of this is your fault.
“I just don’t know what I did to deserve this,” you continue. That part is true; what the seven hells did you do to deserve this marriage? “This, and the baby, and missing my family. I’m just so unhappy here.”
Alicent strokes your hair. You can feel her heart thumping in her chest. You can tell she’s upset and scared. Scared for what your unhappiness means. You’re a risk now.
“Maybe… my father can come and visit. He hasn’t been here since Daella was born.”
After you got married, your parents left court to tend to your house. They felt their work was done. That the marriage was as far as their political ambitions can go. They visit from time to time to see their granddaughter but normally you’re the one who has to make the trip.
“Of course,” you can see the wheels turning in her head. “I’m sure the Hand would love to pick his brain on some things. Your father has always been so kind and helpful”
Queen Alicent is as predictable as she is smart. Your dad thought your marriage would help him get a seat in the small council. When no offer came, his ego was bruised. If your marriage couldn’t, maybe a desperate Alicent can. The idea of sending a raven about the news makes you have to bite back a smile. An ally in an castle full of strangers.
“I’ll speak to Aemond about this,” she nods to herself. “You don’t need to be worrying about this in your condition.”
The disappointment is clear in smooth voice. Before you can reply with a thank you, Helaena finally piped up.
“A baby’s green eyes spurs brighter skies.”
She mutters it before looks at you curious. You look down at your swollen belly, feeling confused. Neither Aemond or you have green eyes. You try to push the sinking feeling out of your stomach. Even Aegon, who normally ignores Helaena’s cryptic language, has perked up a little.
You take a look at Ser Quinton… his eyes as green as spring grass.
Ok this is my first one doing a tag list, so I’m sorry for those I’ve missed. It only let me do 50??? Idk it’s it’s different on desktop or I’m doing something wrong. Hopefully I can find a more conducive way for this. I also only tagged people who specifically asked: @afro-hispwriter @crispmarshmallow @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @its-sam-allgood @lol-im-done @grey-water-colors @sassysaxsolo @justsumstufff @lilithskywalker @dc-marvel-girl96 @bekky06 @claudie-080102 @cloudroomblog @shelbythequeen @crazylokonugget @solacestyles @instantpeachpeace @katyadenauer @nsainmoonchild @deeeeexx @iwanttohitmyself @rosa-berberifolia @noisyinfluencerstrawberry @princessmiaelicia @bregarc @castellomargot @thesadvampire @chaosmagiq @icarusignite @happinessinthebeing @flavorofsalt @wishfulwithwine @slut-for-eddie-munson @rosaryos @mistalli @inana-mm @winxschester @papery-maniac @nolongereviliwantlove @fultimefangirl @missusnora @skinmittensgoblin @duckworthbean @b00kdiary @chiyausu @alexandra-001 @tachibubu @juneisreading @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @verycollectivecreator
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buzzcutlip · 2 months
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hiiii! can I get a request for lip with a shy!reader where they like know each other from school but it’s like later seasons lip like working at the shop or the construction job and she starts to develop a crush on him but he doesn’t think he’s good enough for her so he distances himself and dates other girls and she has to watch from the sidelines until a guy asks her out so she goes for it and lip gets jealous and realizes his feelings. i’m in an angsty pining jealousy mood but with a happy ending still if that makes sense! but honestly feel free to run with it if it’s something you’re interested in writing bc I love your writing! 💗💗
Hi anon! I love this prompt, thank you very much for sending it my way! <3
This is a very first time I'm writing something with our dear boy Lip Gallagher, and I hope I'm not messing it all up.
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Lip Gallagher/Fem!Reader Mature 1561 words
You admired Lip Gallagher. He was smart, intelligent, witty, and—alive. Despite the , he made it to college. You didn’t know the details but heard people talking about those nasty Gallaghers. You saw him take his little brother, Liam, to classes, to your study group. The little boy living temporarily in a dormitory made you sick with worry, but it was obvious that Lip took great care of him. You mostly felt for Lip—that he, as young as he was, had to take on his parents' responsibilities. And still, he did so great at school and had two jobs on top of it. He went home for weekends to help around the house. But that life sucked him back in, never giving him a solid chance, as much as Lip fought for it. He left the school, left the crime scene behind, and left an empty space in your chest. You never told him how you felt. Never wanted to, anyway.
Occasionally, you still meet each other at parties he gets invited to—or invites himself to—and you chat easily, sharing a drink or two. You’re happy to see him, to hear about his crazy jobs. Sometimes he brings a girl along and you smile politely at her, shake her hand. The whole school knew about Amanda and Mrs. Robinson. Besides wanting to protect yourself, you don’t believe Lip could ever want more than friendship from you, which makes interacting with him easier. ‘Cause you’re not trying for anything with him. He’s just a good bad boy. Who cares if you’ve had a crush on him since day one?
So what you expect from Lip when you introduce him to your date, Jacob, at one of these lame parties is that he shakes his hand and says hi politely. Which doesn’t happen; he just grumbles something and leaves for the kitchen. You roll your eyes and tell Jacob not to mind. Inside, you’re a bit embarrassed and disappointed. Why? You’re not sure. Maybe because Jacob’s a bit boring and you still keep seeing him. Letting him kiss you and put his fingers in your pussy and never do anything back. Because he doesn’t attract you. “But he’s nice,” your friends say. You say, for Christ’s sake! He is nice but oh so boring. You don’t feel anything, but you don’t want to be alone anymore. And most importantly, you don’t want to think about Lip when you masturbate, when Jacob fingers you, when boys half-heartedly fucked you in the past.
But as much as you want to forget Lip, you see him again. It’s a bar this time. Filled to the brim with a Friday crowd.
“Hey,” someone says behind you, laying a hand on your shoulder, and you know it’s him before you turn around. You smile at him, sucking on a colorful paper straw.
“You still drink that? Rum and Coke?”
“Yeah,” you laugh shortly, looking at the dark brown drink in your hands. “Spiced rum!” you clarify.
Lip leans closer to you, the sudden proximity doing things to you, as always, and you have to bite your bottom lip.
“Is your boyfriend here?” he asks casually, but you noticed him scanning the crowd just a few seconds ago.
“Yeah… Jacob’s here—but he’s not my boyfriend. We’ve been just—seeing each other for a bit.” You don’t want to talk about Jacob with Lip and it’s clear in the way you talk. You’re more focused on your elbows touching on the bartop.
Lip just laughs shortly, doesn’t say anything. It irks you. You frown. “What?”
“Nothing,” Lip shrugs, drumming his fingers on the wooden desk stained with beer and sweet, sticky liquor. He’s lost some of the baby fat in his face. You notice the sharpness of his cheekbones. He tilts his face downward as he blinks at you.
“You never had a boyfriend at school.” He probably wants to say "When I was at school" but that doesn’t interest you that much now.
“So what?” You grow even more irritated by his questions. Why does he care? You never discussed boyfriends, or his girlfriends, for that matter.
You turn your head away, grimacing, but Lip, on the other side, seems entertained. Intrigued.
“Nothing,” he says, smirking stupidly, and doesn’t stop looking at you. “You’re pretty when you pout.”
Your whole face flushes in an instant. Lip never talked like this to you. Never flirted. Of course, at the beginning, you had been disappointed, but you quickly decided that mutual respect for friendship is much better. Safer.
Unsure of what you’re going to say, you tilt your face back to him, but when you look at Lip, he’s not smirking anymore. He reaches for you, hand catching your burning face, his thumb sweeping over your cheek.
It takes you a moment to bat his hand away. “What’re you doing?” you ask, horrified. And shocked. Flustered with your shyness.
Lip shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he mumbles while you’re looking around, all wild, to check for Jacob.
This time it’s Lip who frowns. “You said he was not your boyfriend.”
“Are you, like, jealous or something?” you say only to say SOMETHING, head shaking in disbelief. The silence that follows almost shocks you. You never thought about what you would do if Lip felt the same about you. Never dared to think about that scenario.
Scared to find out what you’ll find out, you peer at him. His face is serious, jaw tense.
“Oh my god, you—you’re jealous,” you whisper, hand going to your mouth to cover it. Your expression must be hilarious—eyes wide, mouth open in disbelief. Lip starts fidgeting with the paper coaster on the bar, eyes flicking all over the room.
Angry tears begin to cloud your vision. “You have no right to be jealous now,” you seethe. “Have you only noticed me now? When I’m seeing someone?” The hurt is unmistakable in your voice. You ball your hands into fists, blinking against the tears welling in your eyes. When Lip doesn’t say anything, you turn on your heel. If you don’t get some fresh air now, you’re going to suffocate.
Once outside, you find a quieter spot away from the smoking people, propping against a wooden table. When you look up you wish you could see stars in the night sky. But the light pollution’s making it impossible. Sighing, you wrap your arms around yourself to protect yourself from the chill. You’re glad that Jacob knows people here too, otherwise you would probably feel bad for leaving him.
Before you get a chance to really sort your feelings, you see Lip approaching you in your peripheral vision.
You sigh, defeated, making a point of not looking at him as he stops a mere foot from you. You’re terrible at confrontations.
“You mad?” Lip asks, and you can feel him studying your face. There’s a cigarette burning between his fingers.
You shake your head. No.
Next, Lip shrugs off his hoodie, cigarette held between his pouting lips, and drapes the garment, warmed by his own body heat, over your shoulders. “Here.”
Suddenly, you’re enveloped in Lip Gallagher. In the smell of tobacco, laundry detergent, and boy. You close your eyes tight against the feeling that’s surfacing from within you. It’s spreading like wildfire, and when Lip steps in front of you, reaching to move the zipper up, up, up, the heat reaches your face, pinks up your cheeks.
Lip leans into you, putting both your bodies into contact, thighs to chests. He slides one of his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, right where your hand’s hiding too, and twines your fingers together. Then he rubs his cheek against your own, as you meet in the middle, and your heart stops. You didn’t know Lip would be like this. That brash, cocky Lip Gallagher with a womanizer reputation treating you with such tenderness.
But you don’t want to end up as a notch on his bedpost.
“I don’t think I’m your type,” you say simply, looking at the ground, hoping that’s enough for him to let it go. To let you go. Even though deep down, it’s the last thing you wish for. You don’t want Lip to let you go. You want him to do the exact opposite.
Lip scoffs, closer to your ear than you expected, making you jump. “And what’s my type?”
“I mean—” you swallow hard, finding the courage to say the next words, as nonchalantly as possible, “I’m from a functional family. I don’t use drugs, I don’t deal drugs. I’m pretty sure I don’t have any personality disorders,” you list.
“Wow, so you’ve done research on me, huh?” Lip asks drily but he doesn’t move, stays close to you.
You decide to come out with the truth. “You know, I had a crush on you at school, and I think I was not as subtle as I thought I was. I mean, most of my friends knew about it.”
Licking his lips, he says,“I always thought you were cute. I was just—”
You're not letting him off that easy. “Busy fucking through the entire school?”
“I didn’t think it was a good idea to make a move.”
“Why do you think it’s a good idea now?”
“Because I can’t stay away from you anymore.”
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archangeldyke-all · 3 months
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No bc I keep thinking of modern Sev trying to get into the dating game because she wants to settle down and she gets on a dating app because Jinx had mentioned in a conversation with Silco and she ends up matching with reader,,, ahh it’s stuck in my brain
i changed this just a bit to make jinx even more of a shithead hehehe i hope u love it
men and minors dni
"aunt sevy." sevika rolls her eyes at the nickname she hates, and looks up from her book at jinx.
the girl's ten years old now, old enough to know just the right buttons to push to annoy sevika. and sevika's stuck on babysitting duty, because she's an idiot and agreed to be the shithead's godmother when jinx was still a harmless, quiet baby.
"what?" she grunts.
"why don't you have a wife?" jinx asks.
sevika groans. "did your dad put you up to this?" she asks. silco's been bothering her about the same thing lately.
"no." she says. "'m jus' wonderin'. when we have birthday parties and stuff, all the adults bring their boyfriends and girlfriends and wives. but you never do. why not?" jinx asks.
sevika tries her best not to kick jinx's shin. she manages, but not without flicking the kid's forehead.
the truth is that sevika's been asking herself the same thing lately. but she's realized that after so many years of emotionless hook-ups, she's got no idea how a relationship would even fucking work, and she's decided it's easier for everyone if she just... doesn't try.
"mind your own buisness." sevika grunts eventually. jinx studies her with those frighteningly inquisitive eyes of hers, before she smirks, turns on her heel, and runs to her room.
sevika's too relieved by jinx's disappearance that she doesn't even consider that the girl could be up to something.
three days later, sevika gets a call from silco at five in the morning.
"do you know what fucking time it is?" she groans into the receiver as she rubs her sleepy eyes.
"i'm sorry."
"what's so fuckin' important that you couldn't wait to tell me at work?" sevika asks.
silco's responding sigh is long enough for sevika's stomach to sink. "you should dress nice today. a suit, maybe, or at least nice slacks and a button up."
"why? do we have a meeting?"
"no." silco says. sevika waits for him to elaborate, but he doesn't. she huffs.
"silco what the fuck is going on?" she asks.
"you have a date tonight."
it's silent for a few moments. sevika tries to remember if she'd drunkinly given out her number to someone, or if silco asked her to butter up a client. she draws a blank. "...i do?" she asks.
silco sighs again. "jinx got the idea in her head that you need a wife, so she made you a dating profile."
"what?!"
"she's been cat fishing some poor person as you, and she's scheduled a date for the two of you tonight at seven."
"she what!?" sevika screams. her neighbor pounds on the wall that they share. sevika pounds right back. "silco, there is no way in hell i'm going on a date jinx set up for me."
"yes, i figured you'd say that." silco sighs. sevika's phone buzzes. "check your messages."
sevika pulls her phone away from her face and checks the new text sent from silco.
she gulps when your picture pops onto her screen.
you're... everything. if sevika was asked to describe her type, she'd have described you to a tee.
silco starts talking on the other line, and sevika blinks down at your picture one last time before pulling it back up to her face.
"fine." sevika grunts. she can hear silco's smile, and she huffs. "shut the fuck up. which suit should i wear?"
silco cackles on the other line.
sevika almost passes out when she meets you in person. you're stunning, and she's nervous, and she knows absolutely nothing about you even though it seems like jinx has told you everything about her.
it's only when you've ordered your dinner and are chatting over bread that sevika finally confesses.
"i have to tell you something." she mutters.
you pause mid-chew, your lame story about a fat squirrel you'd seen earlier today entirely forgotten at the sight of your gorgeous date's grimace. "don't tell me you're straight." you groan.
sevika cackles, and you relax a bit into your seat, smiling as you watch her catch her breath. "no!" she laughs. "god, no." she wipes her eyes. "i am very gay. and i find you..." she trails off, her eyes darting down to your lips for just a flash, before she blinks and shakes her head. "very attractive." she says.
you gulp, ignoring your sudden arousal. "so... what's the problem?" you ask.
sevika sighs and looks down at her hands. "you've been catfished."
you frown. "uh..." you study the woman in front of you. "you are sevika right? i mean... you look just like your pictures..."
sevika chuckles and shakes her head. "yes, that's me in those pictures. but you haven't been talking to me all week."
"so..." you're beyond confused. "who have i been talking to?" you ask.
sevika cringes. "my fucking shithead niece." she says.
relief floods your body. this isn't a scam or a fucked up prank-- it's a real date with a beautiful woman who's looking at you like she's expecting you to throw your glass of wine in her face.
instead, you burst into laughter. "you sound awfully fond of her."
sevika's stiff posture relaxes, and she huffs her own laugh. "she was cute before she could talk." she says, shrugging. you laugh even harder, reaching across the table to take sevika's hand and squeeze it as you try to compose yourself. "but now she's old enough to ask me why i'm still single and work a smartphone..."
"well, that explains why you had so many typos in your texts."
"oh, god." sevika groans.
"you misspelled 'restaurant' like five times."
"it's a hard word." she chuckles.
you pull the gorgeous woman's hand up to kiss her knuckles, and watch in fascination as all her worry and embarrassment melts away. "so." you say.
"so." sevika repeats.
"if you'd like to leave i understand, i won't be offended. i'm not sure i'd be into the dates my little cousins would pick out for me."
"no!" sevika shouts. she cringes as half the restaurant turns to look at her. you giggle. "no, that's not-- i really want to be here. i just-- i just wanted you to know that you weren't talking to me... you were talking to a ten year old."
it's quiet for a minute as you try to wrap your mind around the situation. so you'll have to re-introduce yourself to the woman in front of you-- that's fine. you're looking forward to getting to know her, and it seems like she wants to get to know you too.
you take a sip of your wine, then giggle when a thought occurs to you. "god, i'm so fucking glad i didn't try sexting with you." you say.
sevika bursts into surprised laughter, and she has to pinch herself to keep from launching over the table and kissing you.
(jinx never lets sevika live down the fact that she married the first person she picked out for her aunt.)
(jinx also officiates your wedding.)
taglist!
@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner
@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther
@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai
@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll
@sevsdollette @ellieslob
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